#sorry bitches ):

[lcahwriter]

20 Years

Pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Reader (Non-Descriptive Reader, no use of Y/N)

Word Count: 1.1k

TW: So much angst, no comfort, sucidial ideation

Summary: You’ve loved Bradley for 20 years, and he never noticed.

Authors note: sorry ya’ll. I like to torture myself and you🤷🏻‍♀️

*******************************************************

“Until you have experienced the pain of falling in love with someone who doesn’t love you, you have not come across true hurt and despair.”

Year 1

You’ll always remember the first time you saw him. You accidentally bumped into him your first day in the Navy. You murmured a sorry, and he just smiled down at you before walking away. He was only 20 at the time, his hair darker and his face clean shaven.

He didn’t remember you after that, so you just admired him from afar. He was the guy all the girls wanted. When he walked into the room everyone noticed. When you walked into the room no one batted an eye.

You tried to tell yourself you didn’t care about him, until the day he finally spoke to you. He was tall, and his god damn eyes were even more beautiful up close.

“Hey I’m Bradley.” He’d said to you, with a big grin on his face.

As if you didn’t already know who he was.

“You’re Amy’s friend, right? I was wondering if I could grab her number from you?”

You smiled and gave him her number, no questions asked. 

You tried to pretend the ache in your chest wasn’t because of him.

Year 2

You became flying partners. You were his back seater, and now he had to notice you. But somehow, he still didn’t see you. At least he didn’t see you how you saw him.

When you looked at him you saw oceans and valleys, galaxies and planets. When he looked at you, he saw- nothing important.

You grew close to him being his WSO. You told eachother everything when you were in the sky. Secrets that would never be revealed. 

Each time you were flying with him you were falling deeper into the hole you’d dug for yourself.  

You pretended you weren’t falling in love.

Year 5

 He met someone, and he loved her. It was killing you to watch him with someone else. 

You wanted to tell him that you were miserably in love with him. You wanted to tell him that you couldn’t sleep at night knowing he was happy kissing someone else. 

You had to stop going out when she was there. The worst part is he didn’t notice you were gone.

Year 7

 You cried alone most nights. Your friends told you to start putting yourself out there, go on some dates. But you’d tried that for years, nothing ever panned out.

“Why haven’t I met any of the guys you go out with. I know you’ve got one!” he’d say, a big grin on his face. He would always wrap his arm around your shoulder while he talked to you.

“You know that’s not true Bradshaw.” You’d say back. You wanted to tell him – I can’t seem to find someone as good as you, you fucking idiot.

“No guy is good enough for you anyway.”

You wanted to laugh at the irony. 

But instead, you spent hours wondering if you should have told him you loved him. The pain of loving him when you couldn’t have him was consuming you.

Year 10

 When he told you he proposed you smiled and told him congratulations. You told him you’d be there, whatever he needed.

You went home and sobbed until your throat was raw and mind was numb.

You had to distance yourself from him after that. He asked where you’d been once. You told him you met someone, and he believed you.

Year 12

 You saw him and his wife at a friend’s wedding. He had aged like fine wine, he looked more handsome than he did the first day you met him. 

He was so god damn happy so you tried to be happy too. But you swore you could see pity in his eyes. You were 32 after all- single, no kids.

“How are you doing? It’s been a while.” He’d say, his eyes trying to hide their concern.

“Great, just going where the Navy tells me.” Drowning yourself in your career helped to distract from the loneliness.

You couldn’t talk to him like you used to. It hurt too much. 

He played the piano that night, just like old times. You left early so he wouldn’t see the tears streaming down your face.

Year 15 

 You had worked so hard to move on. You met someone, someone who noticed you. He loved you, treated you well. You were happy, really. But he wasn’t Bradley.

Year 20

Bradley called you to wish you a happy 20 years in the Navy. You thanked him and told him the same- you tried to hide that you were tipsy from the whiskey bottle in your hand . 

He asked how you were, and you told him you were great- that everything was going well for you.

You lied to him - because how could you tell him the truth? 

 You were completley and uttery alone, with nothing but the Navy as your companion. You’d never been able to find someone that could keep up with the moving parts of being in the Navy. 

You’d gotten used to it.

“I miss you.” He said. And you shook your head in disbelief.

“Don’t say that.” You said back, your voice filled with sadness.

“Why? It’s true.”

But he didn’t miss you how you missed him. He didn’t think of you that way- he never had. 

The antidepressants on your kitchen counter looked tempting. You knew you could take a handful – go to sleep for a while. No one would notice- just like how he never cared enough to notice you.

“Bradley I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you.” The alcohol was getting to you, and the recklessness and sadness you felt were a dangerous mix.

“And you never noticed.” You bit out. “Not even once.” Your voice was laced with anger. You were trying so fucking hard not to cry.

All you could hear was Bradley’s quiet breaths through the phone.

“I’m so fucking happy that you’re happy.” You took another sip of the whiskey. 

“But I hate you for it. I hate that I can’t blame you for not loving me. I hate that you found someone, and that I’m still here wishing it had been me.”

You were breathing heavily now with tears streaming down your face. You set the bottle down on the ground and looked up at the ceiling.

“I’m so sorry.” He said. His voice cracked with sadness. You wondered if pity was what he truly felt.

Before he could speak again you hung up the phone.

He had a wife, kids- family. He didn’t need your love confessions or drama. You were both 40 years old for fucks sake.

You imagined that first day you saw him. How happy and naïve you both had been. You closed your eyes and leaned up against the wall, sliding down to the hardwood floor. 

You could hear the vibrations of your cellphone through your muted hearing. You ignored them and settled deeper into the darkness.

You dreamt of another life where you were with him. Where he noticed you- where he thought you were special, something more than a friend.

 He kissed you so sweet in your dreams – something you’d always craved but would never have.

Soon the alcohol would be gone, sleep would leave you – and you’d be back to wishing you could have done more.

#bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #rooster x reader #bradley Bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw angst #rooster angst #sorry bitches #angst no comfort #top gun angst

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Ohh no I wanted it happen T-T but nevermind I'm sure you've better things for us in store

As reparation I've put a beomgyu smut scene in chapter 6 instead of a tyun scene

#sorry bitches #we all know who I'm biased towarss #towards #mort talks #yamqn

[wtfcl0ud]

you may think your only options are

but in fact you can

#being so brave about it #bitching and moaning #sorry for the lack of ids #im in so much pain rn #ahahhahahahahah #cloud nonsense

[nouverx]

Pov the cannibal overlords are judging your outfit (or discussing how they're going to cook you tonight, your choice 👀)

Based on very cool outfits for them I saw on twitter! Here's Alastor and here's Rosie

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin alastor #hazbin rosie #alastor #radiorose #digital art #my art #clip studio paint #YES I'm using clip studio paint for the first time in 3 years damn I missed that bitch #Welp that was tiring but I'm very happy with it #ALSO YES I KNOW ALASTOR'S HAND IS A BIT TOO HIGH I'M SORRY #by the time I noticed it looked weird I had already started painting and all of my layers were merged lmao #oopsie #please just ignore that detail 💃 #or maybe this one can be seen as not-so-platonic radiorose?? lmao

[sexiest-objects-tournament]

Please share propaganda in the notes!

EDIT since this has breached containment! Some info on the poll as whole!

1- I'm sorry to put two bad bitches against each other. The bracket setup was randomly selected, not seeded to have equal match-ups. BUT there will be a revival round! 2- Image descriptions are in the ALT text. 3- As always, there is a real human person running these, so keep negative propaganda to a minimum in the notes. Talk up your faves as much as you want, but don't shit-talk the other option.

Thanks!

#I'm very sorry to put two bad bitches against each other #If they tie they can both move forward tho #Tie here will be within 5% of each other #tournament poll #tumblr bracket #computers

[snonkerdoodlefizzy221b]

"I think I am all better now." - Nikki Sixx, This Is Gonna Hurt, page 124

#nikki sixx #quote #nikki sixx quote #hoopla #this is gonna hurt #listen i was on hoopla okay so dont come after me if the page number is wrong on the actual book #because i unfortunately have not touched the paper copy of it #sorry bitches

[purpleminte]

Not me getting secondhand anxiety looking at the absolute chaos of this hypothetical discord user’s life based on these messages-

This person is apparently

• Travelling internationally likely very soon

• Currently having homework for an active biology class

• At least somewhat present in the moderation of a server

• Actively involved in competitive sports

• Has an engagement or event currently planned (that is understandably being ignored)

Maybe I’m lazy or something but this is enough to make me curl up and die

#random #thinky thoughts #discord #seriously this person is doing more in an afternoon than I get done in a month #sorry I’m an indoor cat #adhd is a bitch #I’m gonna go get exhausted thinking about these things

[mossytrashcan]

I put her in my pocket and then she literally chewed a hole in it and escaped

#sorry I needed a break from comms lol #harrowhark nonagesimus #harrow the ninth #gideon the ninth #the locked tomb #tlt fanart #tlt #sage’s art tag #griddlehark #bitch idk what else to tag #art

[myiliterallyhavenolifegoals]

i'm unwell!!! because in stede's eyes, ned low was right!! ned says "he [ed] only likes you because of your bumbling amateur status" and calls stede blackbeard's "pet" just like izzy did in series 1

so stede steps up as a captain, kills the man who harmed his crew, and suddenly, for once in stede's life, he isn't a joke! the gentleman pirate is taken seriously and welcomed into the pirate community!

and what happens less than 24 hours later? ed calls their night together a mistake, AND LEAVES.

yes, obviously the situation is more nuanced, and these old men are once again struggling to communicate, but i 100% understand why stede went a bit of the rails at the end of episode 7. stede's been so focused on trying to help ed, that he's completely ignored his own ongoing identity crisis and trauma, and after the incident at the academy in series 1, this meltdown was long overdue.

#yes he's being a bitch but it's IN CHARACTER #just because you don't agree with his actions doesn't make it bad writing guys c'mon it's good omens 2 all over again #ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #our flag means death #stede bonnet #ed x stede #rhys darby #i'm a stede apologist first and a homie second i'm sorry lmaoo #i got so excited when i saw the flashback to him as a little boy bc finally!!! stede's trauma gets to be addressed!!! #edit: HE SLEPT WITH ED TO TAKE THE POISON AND TURN IT INTO POSITIVITY WAIT A SECOND WAIT A FUCKING SECOND

[molly-yasha]

#scaredycat

#critteredit #criticalroleedit #candelaobscuraedit #critical role #candela obscura #travis willingham #brennan lee mulligan #spenser starke #* #cr #travis #brennan #spenser #.gif #this new post editor is CRAZY yall.... #so excited to be in my ttrpg phase again btw :) #sorry its grainy </3 travis and brennan were in the dark cos they havent been intro'ed this was genuinely only 6 mins in LMAO #i forgot travis is such a scaredy cat i missed u bitches fr <3

[gravityfying]

she said "see ya later, boy"

#holy SHIT my bitch ass crawling back to this site after years of not posting #this is an owl house account now sorry #toh #the owl house #huntlow #hunter #willow park #grav art #dana terrace giving me the biggest shipping brainrot since 2017

[mintaikcorpse]

The Vees but what is even happening

#im very sorry for how quick some stuff is i mostly make these for myself and tumblr is a bitch for not having the pause button #vox #valentino #velvette #the vees #hazbin hotel vox #vox hazbin hotel #valentino hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel valentino #velvette hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin hotel edit #hazbin hotel

[nahrgles]

So I finally got around to playing Pathologic...

#pathologic #artemy burakh #daniil dankovsky #burakhovsky #my art bitch #i apologise that my first contribution here is *this* #i did some warmups before this that i might post who knows #but like i saw a meme on twitter and something possessed me #sorry #they do make me insane tho

[theo-notts-doll]

regulus is a short little man but when he and sirius both stop growing he is a singular inch taller than sirius and they'll fight about it for the rest of their lives that is my truth

#that's how it is #sorry guys #fight with the wall #i apologize #for the frankly appalling lack of grammar #harry potter #james x regulus #jegulus #marauders #marauders era #regulus arcturus black #regulus black #remus lupin #sirius black #james potter #black family #walburga's a+ parenting #that bitch #wolfstar #sirius and regulus #i dont make the rules

[tapakah0]

WHEEEEEEEEEEZE I'M SORRY

#tapadoodles #cass fanart tag #I MEAN #I MEANN #OKAY THEY #MMMMHMM #I'M SORRY #I WANNA THEM FIGHT #AND CASEY TO BE BITCH

[snonkerdoodlefizzy221b]

"I think I am all better now." - Nikki Sixx, This Is Gonna Hurt, page 124

#nikki sixx #quote #nikki sixx quote #hoopla #this is gonna hurt #listen i was on hoopla okay so dont come after me if the page number is wrong on the actual book #because i unfortunately have not touched the paper copy of it #sorry bitches