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boxwinebaddie · 6 months

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Hey Uncle Nina, random question but what is your opinion on Henriel? (Michael x Henrietta) Or rarepairs, for that matter?

awww! while i will say that i haven't put much thought into their intimate/personal relationship, i am a friends to lovers girlie, they clearly have similar interests and i think they could definitely be super cute together, doing little gothy goth thangs (fangs), aw.

as for rarepairs in general...i am definitely in support of rarepairs! i know what its like to ship something that goes against the grain of what everyone is mainly shipping in a fandom, how frustrating it is to have almost no content for your ship/having to make it yourself and honestly...just getting harrassed for liking your more obscure ship! so in general uncle nina rocks on the side of rarepairs...

....speaking of rocking however and NOT rocking the boat specifically, i will say an exception to my acceptation of ships are ones that are obviously extremely gross like incest, assault, anything illegal or very immoral. particularly if its done in extremely poor taste. like i feel like if you are writing dead dove and its conscious, its tagged correctly and it isn't like...excuse me...torture porn that trivializes or romanticizes traumatic thematic topics, i support you.

but i really hate those like 'stan kwords himself and drinks himself to death bc hes a pathetic loser lol haha' fics...very sick to me tbh.

my final note on that and also, not to rock, rock, rock that boat is there are definitely ships that i dont particularly like or agree with, but i certainly will not threaten to kill you over it. do you...i guess. lmao.

but yes! the ncu supports rarepairs, i just happened to like style and got lucky because a lot of other people did too! i also ended up being fond of bunny/kenjorine and bendy which is realtively well accepted and...i will say i want to get more familliar with creek and write them one day...i do not actually know that much about them tbh.

in terms of actual rare pairs though...does reidi count? because i really like reidi? ( i kind of want to write a chance to write reidi tbh ) i also support bebrietta? and uh...tolkien and clyde? craig and clyde sometimes aha. do pip and damien count? uhhh really any of the girls shipped w each other...probably other stuff? yall will have to englighten me to more rare pairs and ships that you enjoy!

so i'll be honest...the real reason i don't know about a lot of rarepairs or engage in ship related stuff is...please take this lightly and im sorry if this hurts anyones feelings but ive felt it for a while/i know its hypocritical because i write fanfic for the south park fandom...

i kinda...hate the south park fandom...a lot...specifically sptwt...soz :/

i just think it can get really nasty in there sometimes? immature?

there's a reason why my twitter is mainly used to update you guys on my writing/writing process and be moderately silly. it feels like a comfortable and safe place to do so, a place of information.

i sometimes hover on the 'for you' side of twitter and i always fucking regret it because it's so chaotic and intense and kind of...gross, tbh?

i respect and love every one of you and i believe you are all good and wonderful people who curate conscious content/arent Like That...

but everyone getting into discourse every five seconds, trying to kill each other, the delusion, people spelling like theyre in first fuckin grade ( some of that seriously gives me a seizure ), infantilizing the characters, treating the HEAVY AND FUCKED UP issues they talk about on the show like theyre jokes or valid ( its partly the shows fault but some of yall minds are getting turned into mashed potatoes ), the echo chamber of just...ignorance and stupidity...bad takes...and CRINGE in general...like i get second hand embarrassment, dude.

i know its for fun and all...but there is a reason why when when i go to write my fanfics, i take the dark ass issues they talk about in south park and try to write gritty but respectful/socially aware, honest and authentic accounts of the effects those scenarios can cause/how that effects yourself/your relationships/your world...so people treating stuff like that like its so haha! Funny!!! uwu!! SiLlY XD is like...

UuUuUuuuUUUUGH

i saw this post that was definitely a joke but it said something like "thirteen year olds should be able to drink and get drunk lmaooo" and it made me....soooooo viscerally angry???? because like???? that is so SICK AND FRIGHTENING TO ME???? i know stan has drank since like eight but that does not make it good??? thats actually devastating????

and even its its not a joke it horrifies and devastates me that you are using a platform and fandom with other young susceptible people in it and desensitizing them to extremely harmful substance abuse and fucking...making light of it. actuuuuually so sick and twisted. jail pls.

maybe its something about being an educator who cares deeply about everyones safety/particularly young minds but...soz not to get too dark...i had a very serious party girl phase in hs and college where i drank very heavily as a coping mechanism, i almost died, it almost ruined my life and its why a lot of stans experience feels upsetting and authentic to me ( bc it was my life & almost my death sentence )

and its really not something that i think anyone, especially 13 year olds, should be joking about getting into because i fucking love and worry about you all out there...i love south park but it pisses me off sometimes because it waters down and bastardizes really fucked up shit...idk maybe i'm being a hater...i love tiktok and twitter and stuff but i am really worried about what its doing to peoples perception

anyways...sorry for being on my soapbox...that has been sitting in my chest for a while. if you actively enjoy sp twitter and the fandom i'm sure your side is lovely and even if i don't think it is, i love you all and i want you to have fun. it just...freaks me out and gives me the ick tbh.

lastly, i'm sorry if my stories seem less canon because of my lack of interaction with the actual fandom and content...i will say i think i've hopefully done a good job of using a lot of context around the basics of south park and adapted them into literature that is both reminiscent of the show we love, the characters that we identify with, while also creating a more mature universe, taking trauma seriously and taking a sort of 2d comedy show and making it into more like...a modern take, a grittier movie adaption...a more serious literature?

idk...i'm trying to take a silly show and make it more serious, sympathetic, dynamic and resonant if that makes sense...

and its hard to tell, but i really hope i've done that and i'm sorry if this is all terribly pretentious, i just am a Kyle and i'm a hard line abt this.

tldr: i love you guys very much, i'm sorry for being a hater, thank you for reading my rant/my pretentious fanfictions, i'll shut up now

-uncle nina, hater arc

#sorry this turned into a rant #i am actually curious about creek because i feel like im writing them really badly #and flatly in rm and i hate that so i want to understand them more #but yeah...maybe im being a boring uptight college girl #but i really do not feel comfortable on sptwt i feel like people are immature and are also elitist on there its very...ick to me #also people use their platforms to just spew hate and be nasty and misinform minds that are still developing #also romanticizing doing drugs and drinking and depression and suicide is really really sick to me #especially in younger people like even as a joke or a coping mechanism thats so harmful omg #idk im sorry for being crazy please no one jump down my throat i was nervous abt talking abt this #but it comes from a place of me being worried abt people on the internet and them being unsafe and uncared for #i write my fanfic tag it carefully and discuss traumatic things as respectfully well informed and honestly as i can TO PROTECT PEOPLE #so doing it for shock value misrepresenting it being a fucking clown and possibly triggering people...get behind me u guys #i will protect u absolutely the fuck not #ok done now thank you for coming to my ted talk

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hanniiesuckle17 · 3 years

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Blue Skies Chpt 3: The Mexican Standoff

A/n: I know the title is hella weird so imma just drop a definition for yall. Mexican standoff- a confrontation in which neither party stands any chance of victory. (also this is not edited so sorryyy) Tag List is open <3

Tag List: @woodiegochile @mini-meanhoe @leggomylino @hanstagrams @desertofdessert @hoes4hoseok @jeonqqin @geminirules @mrsunshine999 @jisungsjheekies @hannie-squirrel00 @cotccotc @kodzu-ken @konenichi @yangs-jeongin @binniebutter @orangegyu @little-precious-baby

Blue Skies TL: @etherealyoonghwa

Summary: Y/n and Hongjoong were only acquaintances in college. They were on the same dance team but never crossed paths until one day both took notice of the other. One magical night after a party resulted in Y/n leaving with a guilty and angry conscious and surprisingly a blue stick. Three years later, Hongjoong is a hit producer and Y/n is a successful single mom. What happens when their paths cross yet again?

☁

Hongjoong’s POV

The three of us walked down the street, hands shoved in out pockets. Yunho’s little brother had told him about this awesome bar he had been to the other night and now the six foot man was dragging both San and myself all the way to Sangsu-dong just to go to ‘The Tipsy Devil Pub’.

“You guys are so slow. Come one!” The giant bellowed, already several steps ahead of San and me.

The red neon sign glowed in the night. It was hard not to smile seeing the cheeky devil design illuminating the street below it. “This place better have amazing food.” San groaned as Yunho pushed open the door excitedly. A buzz of volume leaked out of the pub.

“It’s not like you’re going to eat it. You’re on a diet.” I said with a laugh.

“It could be my cheat day. You don’t control me.”

As we entered the establishment my ears were greeted with a familiar sound. The door shut behind me and I watched my two friends ahead take in the dimly lit and packed bar. From the speakers my song drifted over the heads of everyone in the room.

Blue skies don’t stay when yours is the only smile in my mind

Lips on mine.

Legs entwined.

Little Miss Blue Skies will never see the sunrise.

Not with me.

Little Miss Blue Skies,

Come back to me.

Yunho smiled turning around to face me. His long finger point up as if gesturing to sound waves in the air. “Dude! They are playing Blue Skies!” I nodded, getting my own look around the bar.

“You think if we are with him we can get free drinks?” San suggested, pushing to the back of the bar. A row of booths lined the wall, a maroon velvet covering the seats.

“If you can afford that Chanel belt, you can afford your own martinis.”

“That’s offensive,” San paused, not bother to look back at me. “You know I drink Daiquiries.”

Yunho scoffed, sliding his long legs into the curved booth. “Like that’s any better.” I sat on the outside of the seat- my eyes scanning the crowded venue. My eyes fell on a certain figure sitting at the bar.

He was a pretty lanky guy, but his features were soft and very attractive. One arm of his was wrapped around a young boy who couldn’t be much older than three. The boy sat in the stool next to the man, feet dangling over the edge.

A nudge to my shoulder brought me back to the conversation which apparently had moved on without me. San tilted his head as if to ask what I was looking at. Not really knowing how to justify the fact I was looking at a three year old, I just pointed to the bar.

“Who the fuck brings a child to a bar?” The handsome man scoffed, tossing a cashew into the air and catching it with his mouth. He grabbed another handful from the bowl on the table. Guess today was his cheat day.

Yunho followed where my gaze led and pouted his lips a little. “Oh- Gunho, told me about that. Apparently that’s one of the owner’s kid. Sometimes if they can’t find a sitter I guess one of their friends at the bar watches him.”

“So that’s his dad? The owner?” I asked, pointing to the good-looking man at the bar.

My friend shook his head, stealing some nuts from San. “He said his mom runs the bar with her friend. I think she’s single.” He looked around all the moving bodies in the space before pointing to a woman behind the bar. She was turned away from us, but she gave off an aura that sent chills down my spine in a good way.

“Single moms aren’t usually your type, hyung.” San laughed, flagging down a waitress to order some drinks. Tearing my eyes away from the girl’s back I turned to my friend, brows raised and questioning his teasing tone.

“Hongjoong’s type are usually the ones who leave,” Yunho struggled to say without laughing. Seeing my glare he chose to sip on a glass of water. “I could have said you like psycotic bitches..... It’s really a toss up between the two.”

I rolled my eyes, thanking the waitress and she handed us our drinks. After a few rounds of some random drink in a rocks glass (Never again was I going to let San order for me), I felt a tug on my sleeve.

Thinking some drunk stranger just bumped into me I paid it no mind. Feeling a harder pull I turned, vision not quite keeping up with the speed of my body. Once my brain could decipher through the alcoholic daze I saw the little boy from before.

“Hey, bud,” I put down my drink and saw that Yunho had a goofy smile on his face looking at the kid. Should have known the gentle giant liked kids. “Can I help you?”

The toddler looked up at me with big curious eyes. “What’s your name?” The boy asked in choppy words. My brother had a daughter and she talked like that around this age. I smiled, leaning over to better speak with him.

“My name is Kim Hongjoong. What’s yours bud?”

The little boy smiled, revealing a toothy grin. “Mr. Kim you look like my daddy!”

I blinked a couple times attempting to process what the young child just declared. The other two men with me froze as well. “Hyung- is there something you need to tell us?” San stuttered, looking from the boy to me.

“I-I... I don’t think so....I haven’t had a girlfriend since.....”

“Blue Skies- we know.” Yunho interrupted. “Maybe you just look like the guy?”

I nodded, trying to convince myself that Yunho’s suggestion was probably the most likely one. There was probably a ninety percent chance I looked like the kid’s father. Wetting my now dry lips I said, “H-how do you know? Where’s your dad?”

The boy shrugged, completely oblivious to the panic on my face as most kids would be. “My daddy isn’t here, but my mommy showed me a picture of them together.” He stumbled over some of the bigger words and if I wasn’t freaking the fuck out I would have found it cute. “My daddy had dark hair though,” The boy smiled, pointing to my fading blue locks.

Pushing past the lump growing in my throat I asked the question burning in the back of my slightly inebriated mind. “Where’s your mom?”

Fully turning around, the little boy pointed to behind the bar where not only the man from before was staring at me, but also a familiar set of E/c eyes. Staring back at me was a face I thought I would never see again. A face I thought I lost. A face that left.

Y/n.

She looked just as beautiful if not more than when I remembered her. Unable to stop myself, I stood up trying to see her better from across the crowded room. “Hyung... is that?” Yunho asked, probably not wanting to say her name just in case.

“Yeah.....that’s her.”

Before I could say anything else or turn back to the boy, a woman sprinted across the bar and scooped up the kid. As she was running towards the bar, the toddler waved at me with a clueless and happy grin. Even if I hadn’t just drank three...whatever San ordered...I don’t think I would have been able to process what happened in those next few seconds. The woman shouted something to Y/n, who nodded not even batting an eye as the in my eyes, kidnapper, rushed out the door with a man who challenged even Yunho’s height.

Shaking myself out of shock, I pushed through the rowdy mass of intoxicated young people, Yunho and San following me. I never took my eyes off of Y/n, not even when she yelled something to a man coming out the kitchen and bolted towards the exit.

The second she got to the door I switched directions only to be stopped by the handsome man from the bar and the guy who basically Naruto ran out of the kitchen.

“Hey! Big fan! I’m Wooyoung,” Naruto said, introducing himself all while keeping me from following Y/n. “I’m one of the owners and I just want to say how honored I am you came tonight. Can I get you a drink?”

“No. I just need to talk to that girl.”

“Sorry, dude. That’s not gonna happen.” The other guy stated. He obviously wasn’t strong and the owner, Wooyoung was holding me back the most but I got the feeling I didn’t want to mess with this guy.

I sighed, looking back to Yunho and San who were being absolutely no help. “I just need to fucking talk to her okay!”

The two shared a look, before the skinnier one turned back to me, shaking his head. He was about to open his mouth and say something when the more excited one interjected. “You know....I can’t let you go talk to her....but for the right price....I’ll give you her number.”

“Woo, you devil spawn.”

“He’s not going to agree to it-”

“Done.”

“Excuse me, what.....” Wooyoung turned away in surprise from the argument he was having with his friend.

At this point I was desperate. Wooyoung’s eyes turned to saucers as I started pulling out all the cash in my wallet (which was quite a bit). “How much?” The two of the just stood staring at the money in my hand. “Not enough?” I heaved an anxious sight before looking over my shoulder at my friends. “Yunho give me your wallet.”

Not batting an eye, the tall dancer gave it to me and let me start taking cash out of his billfold. I handed them the thick stack of cash, looking at them expectantly. Slowly, Wooyoung reached out and pocketed the money before speaking again.

“You know I was just going to ask for a selfie, but that works too.”

Previous Chapter ☁ Next Chapter

Blue Skies M.List

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cucumbers-and-olives · 3 years

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200 Follower Celebration Pool Party!

what no i didn’t “steal” this idea from @crybabyddl nope not me

(jokes aside though, i was planning to do a sleepover for 200 so this is just a mash of that and well whatever this turned into folks i can’t word today)

first off, thank you. all y’all who are here, and like my writing, and my crazy posts, even though life has been crazy recently, tumblr has been like a home away from home and yall have really helped. so again, thank you.

second, dates/guidelines. ill be accepting asks from july 11 ‘21 to july 19 ‘21. please don’t send more than 2-3 asks, its gets a tad overwhelming. keep in mind that i won’t be answering these right away, as i will be away. i reserve the right to deny any requests for whatever reason, whether that be that i am uncomfortable, overwhelmed, or anything else.

So, send me an emoji from below!

🍄- no context ship, give me a random thing about you and i’ll ship you with a character from any book/movie/tv show (if you’d like a specific fandom/specie of media, let me know (e.x. marvel, jatp, all that jazz!)

⛱- cym, send me a thing and i’ll cast my mutuals!

🍹- a blurb/little writing thing! give me a character/paring from any fandom on this post, and check out one of these prompt lists! here’s one! and another!

✨- did you tag me in something while i was gone and i never saw it*? have something that you think is underappreciated? send me the link, tag me in it (possibly again) and let me know!

*i have a two page doc full of links for things and its a tad overwhelming, this is kinda my way of saying that i cant do words this morning and im sorry, please send it again cause im a dumb teen

😎- for my mutuals (also applies to discord friends) want a moodboard and/or a little blurb of how i like perceive you and your vibes? now’s your chance!

i can’t wait to see what you all send me! tysm again!

mutuals: @n0wornever @softforcal @merceret @unholyobsessions @crybabyddl @writerinlearning @meangirlsx @issaxcharlie @bright-molina @piratesandswords @funsizearsonist @dream-a-little-bigger-x @jaskiers-sweetkiss @agentsoftie @hellophantoms @nicksreggies @daringbarnes @frankietheeoctopus @wrhen @jatp-flynn @bexxy @emeraldrain55 @russsianspy @fireflyingaway @bluedarkness @lex-the-mess @williexmercer @fairylightsandrainydays @animated-stardust @russianalpacafromoldzealand @calamitykaty @phanhowell @alexspinkhoodie @angelofarts @hey-there-juliet @iti-iskuna @chickwiththepurpleguitar @dodgethestraight @sapphossidechick @thegirlfulloffandoms @moonlit-typewriter @martian-jazz @whattfisausername

#cucmber reaches a lot of you #i am not thinking straight this morning im sorry if none of this makes sense /g #this is a little late ik i was talking about this a month ago #im a tad slow sorry!

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radiorenjun · 3 years

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Grand announcement ❗❗❗

Yep you read that right and no this is not a joke, unfortunately.

Honestly is it that much of a surprise?

Um I don't know when I'm actually going to post this or if I will post this considering I've been debating on whether i should actually take time off of not. But depending on the date I post this, its either going to be one of two reasons or both.

LETS GO WITH THE POSITIVE ONE FIRST SHALL WE?

First of all, Happy Ramadan! My maids going back to her old village for the holidays so I'm going to have to assist my parents in babysitting more til she gets back. Therefore I will be too busy to post or update. Or maybe my parents plan an unexpected vacation or something and I'll be too busy to communicate with anyone on my phone.

Edit: I take it back my mom fired her when she caught some cigarette ashes in her room today (my maid went back to her village yesterday btw) and now we gonna get a temporary one that comes and goes everyday at the end of Ramadan LMFAOOO more chores for me then

Also, im posting this to just inform everyone I'll be okay and I'll return somewhere in the end of May or the beginning of June considering I promised a few moots to voice call then. Man, it feels weird speaking all serious like this. It feels even weirder that I'm not even using capslock lmfao.

Okay the other reason. Im not really thrilled to think that it's finally drove me up so far i have to take a break from everything.

If you can't tell from how I've been on and off lately uh like my mental health is getting bad. Like really really bad?

I won't go into much details but for safety stuff here's your trigger warning for ED, SH, Depression, Nightmares, etc. If you don't want to read this part you can scroll down until you see some random red statement I'll write later so you can see what I have to say before i leave.

Uh okay where do I start. To sum it all up basically, my mental health is in absolute ruins? At the moment?? Uh... It's been the worst it has been in the past three to four years? I don't know anymore. I can't sleep properly because I keep having nightmares of past su1c1d3 attempts and the outcome of actually succeeding. I can't eat properly anymore. My SH habits and my anxiety is coming back (every beginning of every month though so it wasn't as bad as way way when this started) and I trying my best to stop it again. I'm almost a month clean but I doubt that I can last more than that again because everything seems to get worse and worse. I cry myself to sleep because of my thoughts being so fucked up. I tried coming forward with this so many times to my parents and my teachers but they won't believe me, i can't do anything anymore except try to get better by myself. I can't bring myself to communicate with anyone anymore knowing full well that the only thing that's keeping me alive at this moment is socializing. I keep having flashbacks of when older men stalked me everywhere I went in the past. I lie awake knowing that nothing can bring me comfort except seeing that one idol who you all probably know by now. Im literally depending on him to keep me together during the day it's not even funny anymore lmfao.

I have to do endless chores, deal with all of this at once, catch up on two semesters worth of materials for my new school, deal with my graduation ceremony which is coming around this month or next month? Somehow I developed some type of anger issues the past year so haha that's great yuh no.

To stop you from worrying, no, I don't have suicidal tendencies anymore but I don't exactly have something to be thrilled living for. I'm just vibin in life at this point lmao

I'm just tired. I'm really really tired. Id lie awake crying my eyes out while listening to renjun voice audios. I'm tired of crying all the time and I'm tired of everything. Im tired of laying in bed overthinking and stressing bout things that wouldnt normally bother as much. I promise I won't do anything stupid

I won't be gone long. I'm not okay at the moment but I will be. Because at the end i need to be okay again. I'm giving myself time to heal again before something gets bad. I promise I'll come back from time to time. I promise I'll be okay again and I'll come back as that happy hyper renjun simp who swears and uses capslock, spamming memes or whatever.

I'm not comfortable opening up about anything that goes beyond too sad in my life so I'm just going to leave it at that

You can stop scrolling now. The triggering part is over.

Thank you for all the moots who decided to cheer me up unknowingly whenever I was having a mental breakdown. Thank you for reading up to here lmfao uh I don't know what to say? God Im a mess.

Dms on both tumblr and discord will be pretty slow. I'm sorry but I'll reply to my asks like a day or two after they're sent. I won't be posting much until June and I'm truly sorry for those who were waiting for the last chapter of idni, im taking this chance to also rethink the ending so I can somehow make it better than I originally planned it literally a year ago.

Damn broken English 101.

As I said before, I'll be okay when I get back. I'll be the happy hyper angie I always was and always will be when I return. I don't know when I'll post this but hopefully I don't haha. You don't have to be worried about me, this happened before and I always come back okay again. I'll be okay, I promise. I'll be back in a month.

Do what yall do and don't forget to tag me whenever you post any renjun fics haha. I'll miss you all, don't forget about me okay? Haha.

I'll be looking forward to writing again and hopefully I'll be mentally and physically healthy then. Hopefully I'll have my motivation in writing back again by then. I'll try my best to commit into getting better and being happy. Plus I wanna start an sm au but rn it doesn't seem very likely haha

I'll be contacting my networks bout this as soon as I post this.

Thank you and see you all later

#announcement!#bye bye

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xxisxxisxxis · 3 years

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Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-Three [Pt. 1]

Part Eighty-Three [Pt. 2]

A/N: There's 2 parts to this chapter because the post was way long. Part Eighty-Four will be posted tomorrow night. I love yall and hope you enjoy, goodnight!!

Words: 5.7k

Warnings: Explicit language, drug abuse, violence, verbal abuse, domestic abuse, explicit sexual situations

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @edwardtriggerhandzz @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @xpoisonousrosesx @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @lilmou5ie @emariehorror @divaanya @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @liith-ium @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels @ytwahsog @scarecrowmax @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @cruecifymesixx @meetthesixxter @sublimeprincesswasteland @arianareirg @gingerspicetalks

@fancywasmyname1 @teller258316 @ggorehorror @blowinmeupwithherlove @xrosegoldwolfx @mylifeisjustafeverdream @redlipscrystalskies14 @str4nge-haze @reigns420 @sixxseconds2love @leatherandheels @dogmom2014 @allyouneedislove-mp3 @n0-self-c0ntro1 @viinceneil

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

"The ambulance is on the way." I hear someone say over the noise of the running water and the blood throbbing in my ears from my mind racing.

My heart feels like it's about to burst, my lungs feel flat, like they don't have the muscle to expand and let me catch my breath.

Duff's t-shirt that I'm wearing is soaked with freezing cold water, Nikki's grayish-yellow skin now blue…

We've been trying to get him to wake up.

Slash is passed out, being knocked out by his girlfriend, Sally, once he realized what was happening and had a drunk meltdown.

Me, Sally, Duff and Steven get Nikki from the cold shower and get him back in the living room floor, tearing at his shirt and the buttons fly off.

"Holy shit." Steven says just under his breath as I go to start cpr but I'm stopping when my hands hit something like ice.

I quickly see what it is and I nearly fall back.

It's my crucifix that I thought I had lost when I left it in Duff's hotel room a couple months ago…

TWELVE HOURS AGO

"Nikki's getting home later than the rest of the guys." Karen informs me as I finish wiping down the kitchen counter.

"Why?" I ask and she sighs.

"He told me he missed the flight."

"Of course he did." I mumble and she sighs.

"Well, after that stunt he pulled, I'm surprised he's even getting to come home." She states and I furrow my brows.

"What stunt?"

"Doc didn't tell you?"

"No?"

"...Nikki and the guys were on a bullet train and something riled Nikki up and he threw a bottle of Jack at a window and it busted and got all over the passengers, then when they got stopped and the cops got ahold of him, Tommy punched one of them so they'd take him, too." She explains.

Am I surprised, no. Shocked, no. Disappointed, no. Annoyed? Yes.

"They are so freaking embarrassing." I sneer to myself.

"Oh, the worst part is what he told the police chief, in Doc's words, 'if my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?'"

I widen my eyes, blinking slowly.

"He said the man couldn't understand exactly what he said so the translator told him Nikki said he was very sorry and they got off." She adds.

"Of course they did."

She just looks at me for a moment before letting out a soft breath.

"Vivian, do you think...even the slightest chance you two can--"

"--If there was a chance, I would've gone to Japan with them." I tell her.

She's quiet.

"I need to feed the dog." I say to her, dismissively, and as if on cue, Whisky is darting in here. "Hey, baby!" I pipe, excitedly, still feeling Karen's gaze on me before she steps out of the kitchen. "Mommy's trying not to kill Daddy." I tell him, pouring his food in his bowl. "She's really trying."

A couple hours later, I'm putting makeup on to go meet Duff when the phone starts ringing.

"Hello?" I answer it in the bedroom, sitting on the bed.

"Hey, beautiful, it's Robbin." I hear from the other side and I roll my eyes, chuckling.

"Hey, beautiful, what's up?" I reply in the same tone.

"Nothin'." He replies. "I was wondering if your daddy was home, yet?" He asks in reference to Nikki and I scoff.

"My father is at home with my mother, probably praying or reading the Bible or secretly listening to The Cult records in the garage." I reply.

"You know who I'm talking about, c'mon." He laughs.

"No, Robbin, your boyfriend isn't home yet." I tell him.

"Do you know when he will be?"

"Not too long from now, probably."

"Well, when he gets in, tell him to gimme a call."

"I might not be here but I'll leave a note."

"Where you going?" He asks.

"Out."

"With who?"

"Robbin."

"Why don't you ever come see me anymore? I haven't hung out with you in months."

"Because I don't party and that's all you like to do at night."

"Well, bring your ass with Sixx when he comes tonight."

"Robbin--"

"--Please, for me?"

"I'll think about it, alright?"

"Okay, just don't forget to get him to call me." He reminds me and I nod.

"I will."

"See you later...maybe."

"Later."

We hang up and I groan and fall back on the bed, looking at myself in the mirrored ceiling, before calling Duff to postpone our plans by a couple hours so I can go hangout with Nikki and Robbin.

Once I'm dressed, I fall back on the bed, waiting for Nikki to get in…

I turn over on my stomach and reach for the little radio clock on his side of the bed, my finger pulling the switch on.

Dopey Christmas music filters through the room and I turn it back off, sighing.

Whisky jumps up on the bed with me and I sit up so he doesn't lick my makeup off, giggling at his happy-go-lucky demeanor, but something's off in his eyes.

"He'll be back tonight, baby." I promise, scratching at his chin. "I miss him, too, you know? I know that's hard to believe but I do." I admit to him and he blinks at me. "And if you tell anybody, I won't give you table scraps anymore." I add, the corners of my mouth tugging.

I kiss his head, leaving a smudge of lipstick and I wince, forgetting I even had the stuff on.

"Oops." I go to the bathroom and get a wet washcloth, srubbing it off his fur as best as a I can.

That's when I hear the door open and slam, and I exhale, standing up, tossing the cloth aside and peeking my head out of the bedroom door to see if it's Karen or Nikki.

"Hey," I say to him and he looks at me.

He looks like absolute hell.

"You can stop looking at me like that." He mumbles and I try to speak but can't find the words.

"Sorry." I finally get it out and he goes to the bathroom and shuts the door.

I hear the shower start and I thank God because he smells horrendous.

I light a few scented candles while he's in there, trying to clear out the smell.

Then I try to search his suitcase for drugs, to no avail.

"I threw them out before I got to the airport." He says and I freeze up, sighing when he reaches past me and grabs the suitcase, tugging it to the floor before grabbing at my waist, making me turn around to face him.

I just try to keep my expression neutral, not knowing if he's in a mood or not.

"You smell better." I tell him to avoid an awkward silence as we're uncomfortably close.

"Yeah, so do you." He replies and I roll my eyes, about to move out of his grasp. "Wait, wait, no, no, c'mere." He grabs at me tighter, holding me still, chuckling boyishly and I give a sharp breath.

"You're high," I state, trying to nudge him away from me to give me some space.

"Hey, I'm being nice." His expression shifts, eyes cutting at me, mouth snarling.

"Nikki--"

"--No, when I'm pissed you get bitchy and when I'm in a good mood you get bitchy. You're just a fucking bitch. Always have been. Always will be." He snatches himself away, kicking the suitcase out of his way.

"I'd rather be a bitch than a junkie." I reply as he goes to the bathroom and he's turning around in milliseconds.

"Fuck you!" He shouts, grabbing my jaw, forcing my back down to the mattress, "fuck you, you condescending, manipulative, evil little witch!" He barks in my face and I keep myself as calm as I can, not wanting to make it worse.

I shouldn't have even called him a junkie to begin with.

I knew how he'd react.

"Don't you ever call me that again, Vivian, do you fucking understand me?! I'm tired of it! I'm tired of your shit and your endless whining when I started shooting up because of you in the first fucking place and I keep shooting up just to escape from the reality that I'm fucking married to a twisted, sick, sneaky cunt like you!"

My eyes water, a lump in my throat…

"Then divorce me." I let out weakly, my voice cracking. "If I'm so awful then just leave me, Nikki."

He looks at me, tears in his own eyes, before he gets off of me and goes to the bathroom to finish getting ready.

NIKKI

I thought couldn't do that. Even when I was miserable with her, I was in love with her. That's contradictory to how I acted and treated her but it wasn't necessarily an endless doting, constant lovey-dovey, in love, thing. It was a poisonous, constant merry-go-round and anytime I would try to get off she'd pull me on again without even realizing it. She'd wear a hot dress, or laugh, or smile, or do something for me, or just say 'Nikki', and fuck, I'd be on her again. The Duff thing wasn't even on my mind that night. I got home, saw she was there, went inside and saw her and it took everything in me not to fall to my fucking knees...only for her to call me a junkie. I shouldn't have grabbed her like that, but at that point I was tired of the going around and around, spinning, dizzy, exhausted from puking...she wouldn't leave me. So I was trying to scare her off.

I realized after my overdose that there was no scaring her off. She was as sick as I was, she needed help like I did, and until we got it we would still be on the ride. That's when I filed for divorce. I thought of it as my final, "I love you," because I really did it for her, knowing she wouldn't file after I OD'd. We were torturing ourselves at that point. We both needed to just get away from one another. And we did.

"You coming or not, Vivian, c'mon!" I call into the house when the car gets here, rolling my eyes as she takes her sweet, precious time, deliberately, staring me in the eye as she slowly steps to the door, her brow raised, red lips keeping restraint from curling at the sight of me.

When she walks past, I'm tempted to rear back and hit her ass as hard as my hand can muster, just to see her look at me with her unamused, pissy little look she gives me when I'm being an asshole.

We get in the back of the limo and she sits as far away from me as possible.

It's silent on the way to town, the light flittering, through the windows in the back cast light over her face every now and then...we'd be in the floor tearing at clothes by now if this was three years ago.

Fuck.

How the hell did we go from not getting enough of each other to fucking despising each other?

Again, like I've been doing all year, I remind myself it's because I fucked up with Vanity.

I hope she doesn't tell Vivian I called her in Japan...It's like I really miss her or anything, I was just lonely and Vivian wasn't taking my calls.

She was under Duff, the demon in my ear laughs out and I look at Vivian again, seeing her quickly look away from me as if she'd get caught for staring.

I wonder what she's thinking about right now...I wonder if she really has been with Duff this whole I haven't been home.

Not that I have room to bitch, I spent my whole time in Japan with my head in drugs--which might as well be a fucking mistress.

I give her one last glance before clearing my throat and leaning my head back to rest my eyes for a moment.

Soon, we stop, and the door flings open, Robbin, Slash, some chick, and Steven all pile in, Vivian scooting over so there's more room for everyone to sit.

I go to the other window, letting Slash and the girl I'm assuming is with him get beside me.

Vivian's between Robbin and Steven, and it's evident they've been having some fun before meeting us.

"Sixx!" Robbin lets out, kicking the seat I'm in.

"King!" I reply, kicking his seat, and he chuckles.

"How was Japan?" He asks, rubbing his nose.

"I barely remember." I admit with a laugh and he joins me, nodding.

"Nikki, this is Sally." Slash tells me next and I lean over him to see her.

She's pretty hot.

"Nice to meet you." She tells me.

She's Scottish...interesting.

I hear Vivian giggle and I peek out the corner of my eye and see Robbin whispering something in her ear, and she elbows him, jokingly.

"You are, just saying." He says to her and she rolls her eyes. "Just get more and more beautiful the longer I go without seeing you." He adds.

"Shut up." She nudges him.

"You are." He chuckles.

"Sleepy is what I am." She states as Steven tells me something, and I try to hear him, but I'm too focused on what Robbin's going on about.

"Here," he reaches in his pocket and pulls out a baggie of coke, grabbing his keys and getting some on the tip of it, holding it up to her nose.

She wrinkles her nose and shoos him away.

"No, no, no." She shakes her head.

"C'mon."

"No." She keeps her voice light but stern and he lowers it and looks at her with a smirk on his lips.

Next thing I know, she's laughing out, "Robbin, stop," while King's dumping the dab of coke on the smooth skin of her tit that's pushed up slightly in her strapless dress.

She squeals and laughs as he snorts it off, I guess because the scratch of his five o'clock shadow tickles or she just gets off on making me mad, then he starts quickly trailing little kisses up her cheek to her ear and she tries to put her ear to her shoulder, laughing more when his other hand tickles at her stomach…he's nearly got her laid out on the seat.

My foot makes contact with his stomach and I'm nearly barking when I say, "sit your ass down, Robbin," sharply, making it clear I'm not bullshitting him.

"I was just playing, Sixx, damn." He sniffles, wiping his nose.

"You don't 'play' like that." I throw at him.

An intense silence falls over all of us and Vivian just brushes what's left of the coke off of her chest and straightens her dress before giving him a soft, reassuring smile.

Great. Is she fucking him, too?

When we get to the Cathouse, Vivian stays close to Steven and eventually Sally when the two of them warm up to each other.

We make it up to V.I.P. and Viv makes a point to try to avoid sitting beside me.

But I wait for her to sit and I'm sitting right beside her with a smug smirk while she glares at me.

"What's wrong, baby?" I lean into her ear and ask over the loud music and she just shakes her head.

I pat myself on the back when she eventually gets up, mumbling about the bathroom, and leaves us.

After a few (several) lines of blow, I head to the bathroom to piss, deciding to stop by the women's restroom to see what the hell Vivian's doing.

She probably snuck out of the window.

I hear the very faint but distinct sound of Vivian crying, guilt stabbing at me.

I think I took it too far earlier when I called her those shitty things.

I just go to the men's bathroom and splash my face with water, the buzzing of coke beginning to numb my mind, thoughts of my imploding marriage, band, and life, being locked up and discarded into a black sea of, "it can wait."

One thing is retrieved, though, thrown a life line and brought back from the depths.

I look at myself in the mirror, staring myself down as if saying, "don't you fucking do it."

Once the high kicks in, I can just feel Sikki scrape me from control, locking me away momentarily.

Next thing I know, I'm standing in the women's bathroom, Vivian still sniffling in the stall...I don't think she knows I'm in here.

"I got you this far, you fuck." The demon snarls in my ear.

I swallow and clear my throat, making Vivian go silent.

"Viv, what the fuck's wrong, now?" I ask and she sighs, staying quiet.

"Nothing, Nikki." She says and I scoff, rubbing my jaw.

"It's clearly not 'nothing' because I heard you blubbering the past ten minutes." I point out and she opens the stall, door, looking me dead in the eye before pushing past me.

"A lot on my mind, alright?" She mumbles, going to the sink and I lean against the stall, crossing my arms.

"Like what?"

"I don't wanna talk about it, Nikki." She tells me, trying to wipe the smeared mascara away.

"Well, I can't read your mind, Vivian, so if you're upset with me about something th--"

Her head hangs low, a small sob coming from her throat, tears dropping into the sink, her hands white-knuckling the side of the porcelain…

"I'm upset with you about everything." She admits to me, sorrow lacing her words.

I haven't seen her like this since Vanity aired our dirty laundry out.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why didn't you act like--" she cuts herself off, and I realize she's referring to me telling her I loved her while I was in Japan.

"Where were you, Vivian?" I ask her out of nowhere, getting defensive.

"Where was I?" She turns to look at me, wiping her tears, rolling her jaw. "Where were you?" She snaps at me. "Where have you been the last four years?" She asks me.

"I'm not doing this shit here." I grumble, turning to go.

"You asked me what was wrong, Nikki, and I'm telling you what's wrong because you asked--"

"--I also asked where you've been while I've been out of town, Vivian!" I turn on my heel, snarling.

"I've been at home, Nikki!" She yells back. "I've been here, and I've been here for six years! Thinking you'd be right here with me but you're not! That's what's wrong! I've wasted six years of my life on someone who--"

"--You wasted six years of your life?!" I laugh out humorlessly. "How the fuck do you think I feel? How many things I've missed out on because, 'oh, nah, my wife wouldn't like that'?!" I scream.

"Must not have been too bad because you sure as hell weren't passing up the opportunity to have a year and half long affair with Vanity!" She wretches and it takes everything in me not to tell her I know about her little thing she has going with Duff.

"Ya know what, I felt bad for calling you an evil bitch and a cunt earlier but fuck it, you are." I reach for the door and I feel something hit at my back, her heel hitting the floor by my boots.

I turn at glare at her, her emerald eyes lined black, thick lashes blinking slowly, lips parted slightly as she takes in a heavy breath.

I take a step to her, then another and she steps back to the sink.

When our lips meet, I'm putting her on the sink, wasting no time to get her dress pushed up her legs.

"Wait, wait, wait," she gasps out, nudging me away while I unbuckle my belt.

I catch my breath as she gets off the sink and turns around, looking at me in the mirror.

I just lift her dress and bend her over, pulling her panties to the side before--

"God, you are so high." She grumbles, pulling me from my imagination, picking her heel up and shoving past me.

Damn her.

I follow after her back to the guys, and within another hour, once she realizes she's just going to be babysitting us--since she's not fun enough to participate in the coke, pills, and booze--she stands up.

"I'm about to head home." She tells us, and the boys groan.

"Oh, c'mon, Viv!" Steven complains as she leans down to hug him and tell him bye.

"I'm tired, Stevie." She states, chuckling, wrapping her arms around Slash's neck from behind him, and he pats her hand.

"See ya," he tells her.

"Bye." She says. "It was nice to meet you." She says to Sally, next.

"You, too." Sally replies.

"C'mere, c'mere, c'mere!" Robbin calls over the music and she raises a brow and stand behind him, leaning over to see what he wants.

He just grabs her hand and puts it over his heart.

"You feel that?" He asks her.

"Yeah, it feels like you're about to go into cardiac arrest." She comments.

"It's because of you." He dopily replies and she rolls her eyes and pushes at his chest, shaking her head.

"You're a mess." She tells him and he kisses the top of her hand.

"Goodnight, Viv, it was good to see you again." He tells her.

"It was good to see you, too." She replies, smiling, before pulling away. "Bye, Nikki." She says to me in passing.

"Fuck you, too!" I call after her as she heads to the stairs.

The next time I'd see her, she'd be trying to help Sally, Duff, and Steven resuscitate me, and eventually trying to throw herself from the balcony in an attempt to not be left behind while I moved on to where ever the hell we go when we die, begging me not to leave her. I didn't, thanks to adrenaline...but even if I did die, if I had anything to do with it, I still wouldn't have left her.

#nikki sixx #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction #gateway drug

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d-criss-news · 4 years

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Royalties Soundtrack Listening Event | Darren Criss Chat (July 7th, 2020)

Darren Criss 18:02:04

wait ha

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Darren Criss 18:02:08

sorry yall

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Darren Criss 18:02:12

this is confusing me of course

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Darren Criss 18:02:29

this is new for me too friends

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Darren Criss 18:02:45

well i'm here but I can't hear shit so gimme a sec

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Darren Criss 18:04:00

well I'll just keep typing here guys

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Darren Criss 18:04:04

bro

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Darren Criss 18:04:07

wilma

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Darren Criss 18:04:15

i'm tryin

Darren Criss 18:04:57

21kxuv372ubcprrbpiefadt6i

What was your favorite song to write for the show?

They each were really fun so that's hard to say but Hate That I Need You surprised the hell outta me

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Darren Criss 18:05:30

bettic72

darren non capisco un cazzo

anchio pero sti cazzi siamo qui

Darren Criss 18:05:49

genevievephillips

point and laugh at darren

yes let's laugh at him

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Darren Criss 18:06:18

2162bkuccm7xje6yfgmuzrnyq

You inspired me to write my own songs 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

thanks for writing the first positive thing I've seen on this. That's wonderful! I hope to hear them!

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Darren Criss 18:06:43

clo :)

i love that we are all grandparents when it comes to this

thank you for using the appropriate WE pronouns ha yeah this shit is confusing

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Darren Criss 18:08:44

zcvmtsgee5mom80oxeesa4v11

Darren how do you deal with stage fright .... i’ve been preforming in front of people for a while and i i still get scared . Does it ever go away ?

i guess it depends on how big the crowd is. everybody's different but I will say any kind of fright means you care, which is a good thing! Also the thing people forget about performing, for the most part, is you can't SEE the audience, most of the time they're in the dark. That's why performing for friends or in a small space where you can see everyone is much more nerve-racking

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Darren Criss 18:08:57

Dana

Darren can we have a royalties tour once rona is over???

wouldn't that be fun!

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Darren Criss 18:09:15

emilybutcher30

darren can you start streaming on twitch please haha i love you

ha can't compete with King Urie man

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Darren Criss 18:10:06

jake2000w

Darren, I know it’s all weird right now, but do you have any idea when we might see Nerdy Prudes Must Die?

what a good question. I have no idea but I've been wanting to see that show for almost as long as I've wanted to make Royalties. The boys have been talking about that one for a while now.

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Darren Criss 18:10:16

jesiqseigle56

Can you like respond .

like yeah

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Darren Criss 18:10:27

abbyforsmark

has Darren even said anything on this?

nope nothing

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Darren Criss 18:12:39

u6iczx4gua0att2g4kd2vdzwe

Did you write each of the songs with the performers in mind or did you cast them afterwards?

great question. Except for "Also You," which was written with Jackie Tohn for Jackie Tohn, we had no idea who would sing each song. I did the demos for almost all of them and then we had to pitch actors/artists to see if they'd be interested... which wasn't as hard (luckily) as seeing if they were AVAILABLE... which many weren't given the short time we had to make the show. Hopefully we can get some of those folks on for the next season IF THEY'LL LET US HAVE ONE!

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Darren Criss 18:13:52

delfi

darren royalties is so good i'm fucking proud of you

thanks for watching it, truly. I know the Quibi thing is strange for people so I appreciate you giving it all a chance : )

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Darren Criss 18:14:04

Caitlyn A :)

if you see this kick your shoes off

I would but no shoes

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Darren Criss 18:14:27

t59glm18dkw84n64l72jcuvpc

come to the uk challenge

god i wish.

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Darren Criss 18:15:39

damn someone said "travel to UK challenge" and I meant to respond "find a vaccine challenge"

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Darren Criss 18:17:08

i can't hear any of these songs but I"m just gonna start saying random shit about them

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Darren Criss 18:17:16

first off, i really wanted a theme song

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Darren Criss 18:17:23

that was a whole thing

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Darren Criss 18:19:18

Had to cut through a lot of red tape to make sure we had that silly song in there. We were already in the middle of post production when I finally got it approved, but it had to be under 15 seconds. I wrote 3 diff versions. So glad it ended up working. Theme songs accomplish so much in such a short period of time. Establishes tone. Gives the audience an almost Pavlovian response to the familiarity of the characters... I'm happy with it

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Darren Criss 18:20:12

also the "doo doo doo" lyrics are meant to sound like "scratch vocals" when songwriters record vocals with temporary gibberish lyrics with the intent of filling them in with real ones later

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Darren Criss 18:22:29

Just That Good was a concept that started the entire 1st season, and it was one of those instant-songs where Nick and Matt told me the title and I immediately had the hook just from those words. That only happens every once in a while and I was so happy it did for that song. The tricky part was writing the rest of it, but the back half of the song with the chorus repeating that one refrain over and over- that was the melody from the get go

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Darren Criss 18:23:08

I'll get back to Break it In, kick your shoes/let your hair, and kong later... i'll just go off on this one

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Darren Criss 18:23:48

so I wanted to nod to the grandeur of everyone's favorite vampire elf, Jared Leto

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Darren Criss 18:24:05

not HIM specifically, but 30 seconds to mars' very BIG music videos

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Darren Criss 18:24:29

i dont jared is a buncha self centered nutcases like our guys in SWITCHBACK JACKET

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Darren Criss 18:24:37

* i don't think Jared...

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Darren Criss 18:25:38

anyway yeah "so much better..." comes from a lot of the 90s alt rock that I grew up on, and the mix of that sound with a bit of electronic production was an effort to contemportize it as much as possible

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Darren Criss 18:26:26

but the rhythm guitar, lots of power chords and high octaves were all harkening to my fave bands like Lit and Eve 6... but put through a strange bizzaro nickleback/creed performance filter

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Darren Criss 18:26:55

"make you come true" is obviously a very salacious play on words

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Darren Criss 18:28:27

so the only way to make it feel earnest is if we made the track itself sexy as possible. A lot of the songs, even without being written, leant themselves to a certain genre just by the title, and this one was kind of a no-brainer. Sexy mid tempo r&b. And I didn't even know we'd get Jordan Fisher to do it- who SMASHED the vocal.

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Darren Criss 18:29:42

lauraacampbell-12

DARREN CHORDS OR LYRICS FIRST WHEN WRITING A SONG?

it's different every time but for this show specifically it's always title/idea first, and then the song comes from there. But that's because we're writing a show, so we have the luxury of getting to write from a specific place. It's much harder to do that in your own life when you just want to pull a title/idea from your own experience of life. I commend people that do that all the time.

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Darren Criss 18:30:06

what's NUTS about prizefighter is...

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Darren Criss 18:30:24

it was originally a song called LONG RANGER that BONNIE MCKEE sang, who I wrote the song with

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Darren Criss 18:30:38

and in the video we had CHRISSY TIEGEN lipsynching

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Darren Criss 18:30:44

it was bananas

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Darren Criss 18:31:26

we ultimately couldn't use the song because of some complicated writers shit- not too dissimilar from the things we explore in our own show, which is just totally ironic.

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Darren Criss 18:32:56

we were so bummed that we couldn't use the song but I'm actually really really happy with PRIZEFIGHTER. I love the song, and I love how it turned out production wise. I love how much of a massive influence latin x rhythms have had across the entire spectrum of mainstream music, so I wanted try my own hand at nodding to it!

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Darren Criss 18:33:08

Lara :)!

Ahhhhh so was that the pilot song you were talking about last week?

that's the one

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Darren Criss 18:33:45

hbz3jctrg5rwwma640hahffvt

You have inspired me to learn piano I already know how to play teanage dream now

you can thank Bonnie Mckee aka Kimmy Kelly for writing that song!

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Darren Criss 18:34:01

ok then there's the k pop song

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Darren Criss 18:34:08

honestly i had no idea where I was gonna start on this one

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Darren Criss 18:34:22

full props to the brilliant CJ Baran who I wrote this song with

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Darren Criss 18:34:39

we were just toying around with very industrial-sounding samples

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Darren Criss 18:35:21

and I started singing Edvard Grieg's "in the hall of the mountain king"

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Darren Criss 18:35:33

and he was the guy that was like YEAH JUST PUT IT IN THERE

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Darren Criss 18:35:46

and i realized, oh yeah, that song is public domain

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Darren Criss 18:35:59

and kinda ties perfectly to the nature of Elia Peck and his songwriting... huh.

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Darren Criss 18:36:05

So we went for it from there.

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Darren Criss 18:36:17

based the lyrics off of what the Neals say in the room.

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Darren Criss 18:36:34

and then just wrote a bunch of ALMOST nonense lyrics about things that you could HATE that you NEED

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Darren Criss 18:36:40

things like available wifi...

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Darren Criss 18:37:01

artistinal mai-tais.... yeah I guess if you really really liked those you could HATE that you NEED them...

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Darren Criss 18:37:04

etc etc

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Darren Criss18:38:16

but the idea was to have Mariam Hale's character hardly do ANYTHING on the track, since she, as the audience sees, doesn't really have much to offer... so we just built it around this huge track with crazy lyrics that just tees up a tag for her to say without even having to sing: I HATE THAT I NEED YOU

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Darren Criss18:38:43

2235n5s2qk5hjsujbhk5ilpva

I have classes in 10 minutes, and I'm not leaving until you dedicate a Royalties song to me.

looks like you're gonna miss calss

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Darren Criss 18:39:09

"calss" ha. which is like "class" but like... different.

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Darren Criss 18:39:32

alrighty PERFECT SONG

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Darren Criss 18:39:38

i really love this song as well

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Darren Criss 18:40:02

the reveal of this song is that they keep talking about this "perfect song" they've written

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Darren Criss 18:40:26

in other words we're teeing up a pretty big expectation of what a perfect song could possibly sound like

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Darren Criss 18:40:36

the reveal of course is that the song itself is in fact just called "perfect song"

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Darren Criss 18:40:43

which is ABOUT a perfect song

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Darren Criss 18:41:07

and about TRYING TO WRITE a perfect song, and how that's not necessary when you have someone that IS the perfect song

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Darren Criss 18:41:20

when we wrapped our heads around that idea, I really loved it

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Darren Criss 18:42:10

you'll notice we reference a lot of incredible songs, almost citing them as perfect songs themselves

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Darren Criss 18:42:14

ain't no mountain high enough

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Darren Criss 18:42:55

of course leonard cohen's seminal Hallelujah

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Darren Criss 18:44:05

and of course Britney's Oops I Did It Again ha ;)

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Darren Criss 18:45:00

the Oops being a layered joke of being annoyed with oneself that they AGAIN unwittingly wrote a lyric for already massive song, but in doing so citing yet ANOTHER already massive song... if that makes any sense

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Darren Criss 18:45:27

sorry for the typos yall i'm moving fast, i'd never let this shit slide if it wasn't a casual chatroom vibe

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Darren Criss 18:46:37

emzlolly1234

Did you know you wanted there to be a romantic thing between pierce and Sara?? :))))

yes that was actually our original "pilot presentation" episode. the one with the song LONE RANGER and Chrissy Tiegen. It was a longer version of what would become episode 7. We THINK it's a romantic thing but you realize that Sara is just playing Pierce to get the song she needs. That was always the premise yes.

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Darren Criss 18:46:51

luzmargotramos

if you reply with a single dot I'd probably die

then I better steer clear of any dots

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Darren Criss 18:47:04

ALSO YOU was an amazing lightning in a bottle moment

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Darren Criss 18:47:09

FULL CREDIT TO JACKIE TOHN

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Darren Criss 18:47:22

i always enjoy giving credit where credit is due

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Darren Criss 18:48:24

and I came in pretty hot for most of the songs- concepts, chords, style... but this one literally was a simple as Jackie Sitting down and just playing "It's you I love but also you and also you and also you."

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Darren Criss 18:48:37

we all just looked at each other going, welp, yup, that's it, jackie you fuckin rule

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Darren Criss 18:49:28

the song would have ended up very differently if she hadn't brought that to the table. the original episode and song was "one true loves" which isn't nearly as good of a gag/title as "also you"

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Darren Criss 18:49:50

i ended up squeezing "one true loves" into the bridge, but of course, kept ALSO YOU as the main event

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Darren Criss 18:50:02

i will say I was also trying to spoof my brother's old band, FREELANCE WHALES a little bit

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Darren Criss 18:50:26

if you guys know the song "generator first floor" where they sing ay ay ay ay ay a lot...

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Darren Criss 18:50:35

... as a lot of bands and songs had featured at the time...

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Darren Criss 18:51:00

i wanted to put them all in one joke. where a band sang not only hey hey hey but ay and EE and AYE and OH and basically all the vowels

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Darren Criss 18:51:10

which was where the joke of,

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Darren Criss 18:51:20

a, e, i, o, and also u

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Darren Criss 18:51:21

came from

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Darren Criss 18:51:32

which i'm particularly proud of

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Darren Criss 18:51:56

ok let's talk about BREAK IT IN

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Darren Criss 18:54:16

lxucxthxrxnx_

I’m a musician myself (not that great lol) what was it like coming up with the melodic side did you play any instruments for the songs?

i played instruments on all the songs except Break It In and I Hate That I Need You, since those were all electronic. That's not to say i played EVERY instrument but I definitely played AN instrument of some kind for the others.

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Darren Criss 18:55:34

as for break it in... anyway... yeah that was a blast. Nick Lang and I collaborated with my buddy Kendo who goes by the artist name KingJet.

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Darren Criss 18:56:54

Kendo has worked on a lot of legit songs in the hip hop space. For each song I wanted to make sure there was a level of authenticity to what we were doing. I didn't wanna SPOOF the songs. I wanted the songs to sound rock solid and that it would be the LYRICAL CONCEPTS that would be the source of satire. So Kendo was a great guiding light to keep the track as authentic as possible.

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Darren Criss 18:59:47

We explained to Kendo the whole joke concept of the song, which is basically just turning the idea of toxic masculinity on its head, and he was on top of it immediately- when we told him that there's this guy that's really concerned that people think he "fucks too soft" he immediately started spitting out lyrics like the hilariously defiant "I'm the KING OF THE HARD FUCK"

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Darren Criss 19:00:35

which just killed me and Nick. It was just so juvenile that it was adorable to me

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Darren Criss 19:00:57

emzlolly1234

Darren you’ve been here for an hour? That’s the length of royalties man xxx

yeah aint it great

Darren Criss 19:02:21

sophie :)

i personally think you should try your hand at writing a drill song, a british genre of rap that centres around rapping unrelated lyrics in front of chicken shops, personally think it has the right tone for the show for a season two

drill would be siq. I mean, opening the incredible pandora's box of UK based hip hop in general is its own magical wormhole of nuance and history and regional culture. it's amazing. i'd really have to do some homework if I wanted to pull that off!

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Darren Criss 19:02:49

cd2gu4ceqx4am9otf9hzwzivs

he’s talking again guys be worried he might write another essay

ok sorry i'll stop

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Darren Criss 19:02:51

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Darren Criss 19:03:03

cd2gu4ceqx4am9otf9hzwzivs

he’s talking again guys be worried he might write another essay

kidding!

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Darren Criss 19:03:39

fsheldens

when darren actually cares about us 🥺

awww i always do! I just wasn't built for internet stuff.

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Darren Criss 19:04:20

alpermehdi

speaking of nick how was it to work with nick??

the best. Nick is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

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Darren Criss 19:04:51

chloe :)!

what would be ur karaoke song choice from the show?

mighty as kong

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Darren Criss 19:07:32

isa.kowo

How much music theory goes into your songwriting? And did you learn all of it from playing the violin? In what way does it go into your songs?

all GREAT questions. I mean, music theory isn't something you CONSCIOUSLY employ when writing something, it's just that it really helps to know the rules or music when shaping it and trying to maximize its production. And as a matter of fact, yeah, I DID learn most of it playing violin. But when I was playing violin I was ingesting music from the perspective of a student ingesting information, not as a proactive creator putting anything of my own out into the world.

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Darren Criss 19:08:07

Honestly I really didn't start UNDERSTANDING music theory until I started writing music for other people, and noticing certain things and chords and shapes had names and that they could be manipulated to accomplish certain things

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Darren Criss 19:08:35

so most of my academic musical knowledge came in my 20s when I tried to start doing it professionally

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Darren Criss 19:08:52

Nick

first instrument you ever learnt?

violin

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Darren Criss 19:09:07

andyruiz080

I'm castin' my love net wide And fillin' every hole in my schedule

ha love that line

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Darren Criss 19:09:29

missweggy

Darren are you a big queen fan ( the band lol ) 😂

is the pope catholic

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Darren Criss 19:12:00

ChloeOmelia

Now its available, would you change anything?

jesus so much. but such is the nature of creating stuff. there's a great Hayao Miyazaki quote about always having to make new stuff to escape the woe of all the mistakes you made in your last thing... I mean, that's a bit extreme, I feel like we did the best we could given the circumstance but I totally get where Miyazaki is coming from. And in many ways that's everything we do in life. Do your best, know what you coulda done better and carry on

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Darren Criss 19:12:36

dj._.quackers

who or what was your biggest inspiration growing up

the beatles. the uk. the 60s.

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Darren Criss 19:13:02

Astriddd

Your first original song was "Not Alone". I'm right?

no it was actually a song i wrote in the third grade when I got a guitar for Christmas called "Save The Whales"

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Darren Criss 19:14:29

hiiqsbo9358wvfkcjcsgsu4lb

Darren I need an answer it’s been annoying me for days. So was everyone fucking everyone in Pierces old band or was she just fucking everyone seperately??

ha that's a really great question. I figured she was just fucking everyone individually, which is why the band was so contentious but then again I'd rather let your imagination run wild...

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Darren Criss 19:15:29

jphxxk5wjnaqnhuv806wmohdt

Darren, I love your taste in music. You should share your personal playlists ... bc everybody needs to know phantom planet 😉

if i actually shared my tastes in music, or actually shared the amount of stuff in my brain at the rate that I want to share, I would never work on or create anything because i would constantly be on the internet and you'd all be over me if you weren't already

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Darren Criss 19:16:01

But yes, thank you for saying that, I love me my phantom planet oh so very much :)

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Darren Criss 19:16:18

juli.nuttini

could you please answer me I don't speak English and I'm putting ALL my effort into asking you questions I'm going to cry

wow your english is actually pretty great

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Darren Criss 19:17:08

I'd like to write a song with Howard Ashman

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Darren Criss 19:17:23

dancebaby218

Was kick your shoes off inspired by your Hedwig shoes?

nah cuz that shit was actually comfy

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Darren Criss 19:17:55

12169199549

i skipped my clarinet class because of you for the third time :) what can i say to my teacher?

that Darren says you should have gone to clarinet class!!!

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Darren Criss 19:18:34

qalektvmexab6gfwibfihwu6b

Could you please answer me. We’ve supported you for years from the uk and we’re staying up for this but it’s totally worth it because you’re amazing!! Molly x

I wish so bad I could go to the UK!

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Darren Criss 19:20:01

FUCK someone asked about Sam Farrar and I wanted to answer it but it disappeared... Sam is a homie. one of my very first songwriting sessions was with him and a very famous member of the pop universe... who if I get a season two, I'm putting in the show.

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Darren Criss 19:22:00

9nc1yow3iwnp9p3fs4gcvdnsf

what other instruments would you like to learn in the future?

i just need to spend time trying to get better at the ones I've plateaued with. I feel like I got as good as I'd ever get on the guitar when i was like 19. So I've been trying to get better during the Quarantine. Picked up my violin and dusted off that Vivaldi, started doing drum rudiments on my drum pad, and started learning new licks and scales for guitar. Stuff I never got round to doing.

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Darren Criss 19:22:27

harefraz

mr. criss sir, what is your top quarantine activity?

playing music

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Darren Criss 19:23:26

actually lies. top quarantine activity is learning Japanese. 30 minutes a day. And it's been several months. Almost got Hiragana down, still got a few characters I'm questionable with but with any luck I'll start up on Katakana in the next few weeks.

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Darren Criss 19:23:40

224abi6avvottcsacto7vx46a

What about working with Mark hamill ? Insane right

you said it

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Darren Criss 19:23:54

t7sxis7855cd329gaa6iyty8v

Any updates on American Buffalo? 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

it's opening next year!

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Darren Criss 19:24:09

for the record this is really fun I'm enjoying this guys

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Darren Criss 19:26:26

Rachael

How different is it doing a show like Royalties where you're heavily involved in the creative process compared to other projects you've done in the past?

i'd say night and day but that's an understatement. When I did Glee all I had to do was act in scenes, record songs, and go to dance rehearsal. With Royalties, it's that AND casting, doing pre production, post production, notes, meetings, notes, writing and producing songs, location scouting, blah blah blah lots of the stuff that you don't have to worry about if you're not a creator. But make no mistake I absolutely love it.

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Darren Criss 19:27:41

Aisha

learn spanish

I'll get there. I already speak a bit of Italian so I wanted the challenge of learning something that didn't use a writing system I already understood.

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Darren Criss 19:28:23

rosieellenxx_

I take Music Technology as a subject at school and we have to make a whole song with the sole sample of glass breaking...

sounds fun. loads of things you can do with that.

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Darren Criss 19:28:48

21ynx6niidf2amx5nzilihsga

What are your goals for once quarantine is lifted?

hopefully to feel like I used this very strange time well.

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Darren Criss 19:29:14

Ok I should probabl get outta here right?

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Darren Criss 19:29:41

I've talked a lot about mighty as kong in other places

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Darren Criss 19:30:00

so I'll just leave you with a story about "Let Your Hair Down"

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Darren Criss 19:30:14

which was the very FIRST song we wrote for the show

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Darren Criss 19:30:37

I had a meeting with an artist at a dive bar in the middle of the afternoon

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Darren Criss 19:31:10

let's just say I showed up to that very first writer's session very late

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Darren Criss 19:31:17

and sober ENOUGH

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Darren Criss 19:31:41

wktusw4mcjn910r3eq91zg4k5

darren did you watch hamilton??????

duh last night. so fun.

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Darren Criss 19:32:17

anyway I was so relieved that we left with that song at the end of the day. The intent was always to write two songs with the exact same concepts just with different titles

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Darren Criss 19:32:50

the chords are the same, just slightly different voicings played on slightly different instruments

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Darren Criss 19:33:29

and the idea was that whichever song was funnier, or at least whichever song would be more fun to see in a music video... would be the one that Pierce & Sara write

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Darren Criss 19:34:08

"Kick Your Shoes Off" ended up feeling more like a full music video than "Let Your Hair Down" but I LOVE that first song, and hopefully people get to hear the whole thing on Spotify since you don't get to hear the whole song in the episode

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Darren Criss 19:34:51

with lines I love like "see my cheekbones, show off my clavicle, I bet you've never seen a ponytail to magical..."

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Darren Criss 19:35:39

emilybutcher30

i love that u spelled it sara not sarah

thank you. if you don't already know it, check out Ben Folds' "Zak and Sara"

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Darren Criss 19:36:01

OK i gotta get going

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Darren Criss 19:36:12

but thanks to everyone from all over the world for joining

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Darren Criss 19:36:17

i see you and i say hi to you!

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Darren Criss 19:36:23

happy birthday to all the bday kids!

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Darren Criss 19:36:33

thank you for spending a little bit of your bday with me

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Darren Criss 19:36:39

thanks for checking out Royalties

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Darren Criss 19:36:46

hope you enjoy the music

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Darren Criss 19:36:53

and hope there gets to be a season 2!!!

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Darren Criss 19:37:08

xo to all of you. stay safe, stay inspired. - Darren

#darren criss #royalties ost listening event #spotify #royalties #july 2020 #posting as text since it's soooo much easier than posting screencaps #royalties bts

79 notes · View notes

chaoticneutralwriter · 4 years

Text

Deleted Scene; Off-Chance Meeting

What if Jimin met....Jimin?

guardian demon!Jimin x reader

genre: fluff, romance, angst, comedy, supernatural

word count: 4.2k

Related works: See masterlist under guardian demon!Jimin

A/n: So this was like....a half developed scene that I was going to put in for Interlude: Second Best buuuuut I didn’t want to make the chapter too long because the main focus was guardian demon!Jimin’s POV from the events in the previous chapter. However! It’s been mentioned as a ‘what-if’ so I completed it as a fun deleted scene. Hope you like it and hope yall are doing okay! take care, be safe and I’ll hopefully see you soon again for another update, this time with story progression LOL

BTW! Thanks for the 1,026 follows!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖💖💖💖

Tag List: @cherryjiminiee @kokobaekkie @breathebangtan @itsadoozie @thatshylatinagirl @chiminieboi @azulamakesmeblank @sectumsemptae @awkwardwookie @aduky @poisonseashell @shortannoyingginger @caramelmac-chiato @sana-b @jiminstinct

Jimin’s game plan to blend in is quite simple because it really only consists of one step; grab a staff member so that he can duplicate the lanyard ID they have. Even though he promised to not use his powers to you for the most part, it doesn’t mean he hasn’t found ways to work around it. He easily locks onto a target — a male staff exiting the artist room to step out into the hallway Jimin’s in, presumably on a short break as he strides down to stop by a vending machine. The male staff has his head down, eyes glued to his phone for a while until finally, he takes a quick glance up to view the selection of snacks before ducking his head again, clearly in no rush at all.

Jimin’s lips quirk and he makes quick work at slipping closer, steps light and so undetectable that he may as well be a ghost rather than a demon. At the last minute, Jimin cloaks himself, sneaking up on the unsuspecting male just as he reaches into his back pocket to grab some change. The demon’s touch feels nothing more than a draft, fingers barely caressing the back of the colourful lanyard hanging around his neck but it’s all he needs. The male staff carries on, punching in the numbers and watches as the bag of chips falls into the slot below. Taking it, he walks away, none the wiser.

Jimin pays no mind to him anymore, focused on slipping the thin silver chain necklace out from under his shirt and with a soft blow of his breath, the silver chain morphs into the lanyard, a perfect copy. Normally, he would do without a need for something tangible to cast the illusion but this way, he wouldn’t have to use too much magic to keep it up — a weight to the illusion is more believable than simply thin air.

Satisfied, he lets the cloaking spell disperse, rolling his neck a little at the relief that he can finally walk around more freely without the worry of hiding or arousing suspicions.

“Now… where to go?” He mumbles quietly to himself, eyes darting before deciding that he should scope out the way to the area under the stage. Just as he rounds the corner though—

“Woah!”

Jimin’s fast reflexes has him jerking back in time before he collides into the other body. With a step back, his eyes immediately catch sight of the sparkly jacket and they widen almost simultaneously in realization.

Face to face with him was none other than his own mirror, Park Jimin of BTS, only he has honey blond hair and a glowing complexion.

“Ah, I’m really sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” His eyes are a little wide, stormy grey contacts shining as he apologizes.

For a moment, he’s frozen, stuck rigid in place with shock and split second panic before realizing that he has the safety of his mouth mask and drawn up hood to protect his identity of being the idol’s face stealer. Also the fact that the idol has yet to pass out from shock at seeing his own clone or give any sort of huge reaction was a good indicator.

“A-Ah….” The demon’s voice catches in his throat, and he awkwardly coughs, embarrassed as he ducks his head and mutters gruffly in Korean, “No, it’s my mistake.”

The singer smiles amicably, teeth showing and gaze so warm and so friendly that the demon almost has trouble meeting it.

“Hey now, don’t worry! It’s nothing serious.” There’s a pause, a slight tilt of his honey blond head before those artificial stormy grey irises blink, brows furrowing. The demon starts to actually sweat, eyes refusing to meet as he unconsciously begins to lean back to put space in between. But there’s no escaping the curious gaze of the twenty-four year old singer. “Ah, I— I don’t mean to sound rude or offensive but…. I don’t believe I’ve seen you before?”

Oh shit, shit, shit, shit…

He swears his plan would’ve been completely foolproof if he hadn’t ran into the very person he’s going around parading as. The chances of the demon running into said idol was 1 in 200 and yet it’s as if fate had cursed him with the unwanted luck a fan could only dream of having. But there’s no time to curse heaven and fuck all because his mind begins to race with possibilities of escaping this situation. Maybe he could get away with enthralling the idol for a quick second, trick him into thinking this is all some sort of hallucination from being overworked and then when he’s all good and spaced out, the demon can make his escape. His fingers just about twitches when the singer’s eyes widen and his mouth opens, face alight with an epiphany.

“Are you perhaps new?”

….What?

A beat unknowingly passes between them, with the demon blinking owlishly at the young man, completely gripped in disbelief and the singer staring back expectantly.

 “Am I mistaken…?”

The hesitancy creeping into that question snaps the demon from his stupor and he finally blurts out, “No, I’m new.”

Relief washes over the idol’s handsome face (he’s never gonna get over how fucking trippy this is to watch), shoulders visibly losing some tension and the singer even places a hand over his chest.

“Ah, that would’ve been really bad — I usually am able to recognize everyone on the team.” His eyes creases again from the smile forming on his face. “Why haven’t we met yet, um….?”

“Ju—“ The demon stumbles on his words, thinking at the last second that your impromptu Korean name you had given him when he met Jaehee sounded too similar to the idol’s so his mind jumps to the next one he remembers off the top of his head. “— yeon….Kang Juyeon. This is my first day.”

Jimin the idol makes a noise of understanding, presumably taking his sloppy introduction as nerves in good strides. He inclines his head graciously in an almost small bow that catches the demon off-guard. “It’s nice to officially meet you Juyeon-ssi. I look forward to working with you.”

He bows robotically in return.

“Are you on break right now?” The young singer asks innocently.

“…Yes…” The answer comes out unsure, like he’s testing the waters and seeing where this could possibly lead — hopefully with the idol leaving him be and carrying on back to the artist room, surely much too busy to entertain a seemingly nervous new recruit. To his surprise though, the demon is proven wrong.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, I must be taking up your time. Have you gotten anything to drink or eat yet?”

“Well, no but—“

The idol’s mouth gapes open almost immediately, “Would you like to head over to the catering room now? We can grab something.”

The demon is baffled, to say the least; so taken aback by Jimin’s friendly disposition to someone who he only just met that even though he really shouldn’t be overstaying his welcome like this, a part of him would actually feel guilty for turning down the offer. He’s so glad he’s wearing a mask right now because then the idol wouldn’t have to see the borderline crazed smile slowly stretching over the demon’s lips, the disbelief too strong.

But looking at the original owner of the face he wore, seeing it completely reflect a drastically different personality than his own invokes something in him; a morbid curiosity taking hold and stoking the fire to a long buried question —

Who is Park Jimin?

Beyond the worldwide renown Korean idol and a pretty face with killer vocals and dancing, the demon knows very little about who this person is, this person whom you adore so much. What is it that drew you to him specifically amongst the other members. He highly doubts its looks alone (you’re definitely not the shallow type), or maybe even the amount of talent because from what he gathered, all the members were pretty much on par with each other in all departments.

So what made Jimin special?

He really shouldn’t follow this rabbit down the hole, but he’s a demon by nature and impulsivity is practically his middle name. Without another second thought, he agrees with a nod of his head, “Okay.”

Curiosity really should be a sin.

He gets a blinding smile in response, eyes disappearing and pearly teeth on display (he spies the slight crooked front tooth that somehow only seems to add to the singer’s charm rather than a flaw). They walk off towards the room that acts as a communal dining area for the staff and artists themselves, the large selection of hot foods lined up like a buffet self-serve while there are tables available for anyone who wants to sit down for their meal. There’s only a few staff members gathered there, each preoccupied with their phones or simply grabbing a quick bite to eat before rushing back to where they’re needed.

The singer walks in and of the few people that are hanging around, he inclines his head in greeting to them. The demon has no choice but to follow in order to not draw suspicions (even though he gets a few raised eyebrows from wearing a full hood and mask but is ultimately brushed off).

“There’s a lot of choices here so please help yourself. Don’t be shy.” Jimin gestures, grabbing a plate and going for one of the rolls of kimbap. Though the demon has no intention of eating anything — for obvious reasons, he still makes the effort to thoughtlessly pick out random food items to place on his plate for the sake of keeping up the facade. He gets as far as two scoops of sweet and sour pork before the young idol turns to him and his eyes dart to his modest portion.

“Is that all you’re going to eat?”

“Uh…Yes?”

That immediately draws out a noise of disapproval, handsome face pinching along to match the tone. “Ah, Juyeon-ssi; you need to eat to keep up your strength. You can’t hold back on something as important as that.” Before any words of protest can be formed, a kimbap roll is placed on the empty space of the demon’s plate.

And then another.

And then a spring roll.

And then a hefty scoop of black bean noodles and some rice.

It goes on until his plate is adequately full, the idol satisfied as they migrate over to an empty table. The demon takes a seat and he feels his lips quirk as he observes the fact that Jimin’s own plate only consisted of two kimbap rolls and a few pieces of fruit he’s currently nibbling on. The stark contrast and adamancy is already so telling of his character, sans personal dietary considerations.

“Has the job been hard so far?” The singer asks casually.

“Not particularly….”

“Ah, that’s good to hear. Have people been nice to you?”

“Uh…Yeah, I guess.”

He gets a nod of approval, and the demon vaguely likens the feeling of a mother asking their child if their first day of school went well (or if he’s being generous, an older brother). It’s strange experiencing something so familial yet coming from the idol, it all seems so natural as if they’ve known each other for years and not just in the span of less than an hour.

It’s quite the culture shock — something he admittedly doesn’t have a good grasp on and it’s that curiosity to know that has him daringly (or perhaps, no doubt to his colleagues, foolishly) diving deeper. The wooden chopsticks in his hand push around the food on his plate meaninglessly, a gesture meant to disguise the hidden agenda he has; dissecting the idol and seeing what makes him tick.

His lips instinctively quirk under his mask but he makes sure that it doesn’t translate in his gaze as his eyes focus on the idol.

“I’m sure your job is much more tiring.” He says, taking on a tentative tone, implicating for an open ended discussion.

The singer takes a pause, eyes wandering in thought before he sucks in a breath after some serious considerations, “I don’t really think my job is any harder than some of the other staff here…” He stops, as if collecting his thoughts again and then continues, “I think it’s thanks to everyone’s efforts that the members and I are able to do these show successfully and safely. If I were to really break things down…. I really only do a small part.”

“But there’s no point to a show if there’s no performers.”

There’s a hum in reply to his statement but after the idol swallows the strawberry he’s popped into his mouth, he says, “I can see how you would say that, but I think more importantly, there’s no point to a show without the fans.”

The demon doesn’t miss the gentle affection that slips through — that quiet, soft whisper that carries the words near the end, giving way to something much deeper. It’s something he’s seen before, reflected in himself, and it’s whenever his thoughts wander to you.

Fondness.

His chest gives a twinge at the memory, jaw clenching a little as if to physically repress the feelings that begin to stir.

“You don’t even know the fans….” It comes out more as a low murmur to himself, but the contempt underlying his tone seeps through all the same. It’s just…. How could the idol possibly share the same sentiment he has with you, someone who he’s actually spent time with and come to know all the little quirks to — what makes you happy, sad, laugh, the way you laugh, the little noises you make when you eat something you love, see you at your highest and lowest points, with a group of people (not even a single person) who he’s had less than ten seconds worth of interactions?

It’s far too superficial, too scripted and said too many times with no real meaning. He wants to scoff at how impractical it is.

“Maybe so, but it goes beyond that.” The familiar sound of the idol’s lilt halts the demon’s thoughts quite suddenly, still in that soft spoken way but there’s something else with it. A sureness — steady and unwavering, and just the barest hints of….passive-aggressiveness?

That gets a quirk in the eyebrow; so this kitten does have claws after all.

“There are times where I wonder why there are so many people who like us and support us the way they do.” The singer continues seriously, already getting lost in deep thought. “Probably because we work hard, but who doesn’t work hard? Others make good music and do their best too so why us? We try our best to communicate to our fans but everyone does too…..These sorts of things are something I often think about.”

A pause, as if to find the right words, “But whenever I read the fan’s letters or things they post on SNS to us, saying how much we’ve helped them with our songs when they’re going through a hard time, it makes me realize that we’re not so different. We all have flaws and maybe it’s because we’re not perfect that they like us. Starting off with nothing and then little by little, seeing more people coming to support us…. They’re the ones who put us on the stage, so I— We cherish them a lot. They give us energy and comfort us, and we do the same back, like a deep connection, an understanding.”

The young singer stops in pushing around the remaining strawberry on his plate, a ghost of a smile tugging on his lips, like he’s recalling a particularly pleasant memory. “So we want to give back by making good music and showing them our best. Ah, reminds of something really cool Namjoon-hyung said.” He takes the time to tilt his head, “He said how even if it’s just one person he could help, he’ll continue to keep trying. That really touched me, so even if we might not know them personally, they’re the ones who motivate us and makes all of this worth it.”

Once he finishes, the demon is left a little more than bewildered, overwhelmed in fact that all he could do was blink. Granted, it was a lot to take in, never having expected such an arduous confession but what’s even more baffling to him is the conviction the singer had saying all of it, so earnest in his words. Now, he’s no lie detector per se, but as a demon, he does have a more innate ability to pick up on cues and inflections that would give a person away, revealing their true nature. He’s used to it after all.

And then along comes Park Jimin.

This twenty-four some odd year old idol, thrusted into the cut-throat world that is the entertainment industry, young and bright-eyed, armed with nothing but potential, a good work ethic and a dream, yet comes out on the other side, a little bruised and scathed but otherwise, un-jaded; that young and bright-eyed innocence not diminished, instead it matured into something more resilient.

He can probably count on his finger how many people he can actually say that about. Hell, the only closest people that would qualify would be saints, and even that is debatable.

It’s....irritating because he’s faced with the fact that as much as he had wanted to dislike this person, he’s proven that he can’t.

A rush of air leaves his nose and he has to contain a rueful smile. “You’re a very admirable person Park Jimin-ssi. Not that many people keep to their beliefs so strongly like that.”

He gets a bashful giggle in return, light and melodic.

“Aish, what are you saying? I’m not all that impressive….I think I still have a lot to learn.” The singer almost whines from behind the back of his hand covering the open mouth smile he has. Once he calms, it softens. “All I really want is for the fans to remember BTS for our sincerity. I just hope that I’ve been able to help convey that so far.”

The demon lets out a breathy chuckle, finally getting up from his seat. He gazes down at this young man who’s face reflects his own yet wears it in such an entirely different way — glowing with a passion and radiance that is warm, sincere, kind, compassionate and loving.

Perhaps the way it’s meant to be worn.

And it’s with a bittersweet reluctance that the demon places a hand on the singer’s shoulder, giving it a gentle reassuring squeeze. “Keep doing what you’re doing and never lose sight of yourself. As long as you remember what you’re doing this for, the sincerity of your members and you will be conveyed.”

Stormy grey eyes widen a fraction, a little confused as they blink up at him, clearly not expecting such encouragements (honestly, he didn’t expect this either yet here he is).

“Wh— Um, I—…” The idol reaches a hand up to comb through his meticulously styled hair, tousling a few loose strands as slowly, the apples of his cheeks begin to dust in a pink hue and dark eyes can’t help but watch on in amusement. As if sensing the focus shifting to his quickly reddening face however, the young man lets out a sputter and lightly smacks the demon’s forearm, refusing to meet his gaze. “Ahh Juyeon-ssi! What’s with you saying that all of a sudden to me? You sound as if you’re way older than me when we’re probably friends in age!”

Friends…

“What makes you think that?”

“W-Well… I don’t know how to explain it but…. I feel a sense of familiarity with you when we met. Like, a vibe….” The sentence pewters out into a shy mumble, the tips of his ears matching his cheeks now before comically, grey orbs whip up, suddenly concerned. “Unless you’re not….?”

The snort that leaves the demon’s mouth is quickly covered by clearing his throat but he’s sure the restrained mirth still reaches his eyes as he assures, “No, we’re friends.”

He’s met with a brilliant grin, full of teeth and a twinkle in his gaze. “Oh thank goodness. I would’ve died on the spot out of embarrassment.”

He refrains from rolling his eyes if only to dismiss the overly-dramatic relief that overcame the poor young man. But regardless, it’s his cue to go — he's starting to feel a little too perturbed being near someone so good-natured. With a final pat to his shoulder, the demon begins to depart.

“It was nice talking to you Park Jimin-ssi but you’ll have to excuse me, I have to get going now.”

“O-Oh? Is it really that time? If that’s the case— Ya! Kang Juyeon-ssi! Did you even touch your food? You—!”

“Jimin-hyung!”

“Oh?” Jimin’s attention whips to the new voice that called him from the still full plate of food left on the table. His eyes immediately meet doe-eyed ones, usually dark as coal but are currently a more lighter coffee colour, bringing out more of the brown that’s hidden in its depths thanks to the contacts. The youngest member approaches him with long strides, the sequins on his own stage outfit glitter with each step.

“This is where you were? Should’ve told me you were hungry, we could’ve gone to snack together.”

“Ah, no I was just talking with Juyeon-ssi.”

“Juyeon? Who’s that?”

“Kang Juyeon; that person who was just leaving, you must’ve seen him on your way in.”

But that only gets a head tilt from Jungkook, who swivels his head back towards the entrance, “He doesn’t sound familiar and I didn’t see anyone leaving.”

“….Huh?” Equally confused, Jimin swerves around the tall form of Jungkook to get a look however, to his surprise, he doesn’t see anyone. Glancing around lets him know that at most, there was only three other people in the room, excluding him and Jungkook but they were all immersed on the couch in the far corner, away from the entryway. Does Juyeon walk that fast? “Aye, quit messing with me. He had on a face mask, around my height? With his hoodie pulled up; probably the only one here who does too.”

Jungkook shakes his head, genuinely clueless on who Jimin could possibly be referring to. “No, I swear I haven’t seen anyone around like that.”

The furrow in Jimin’s brows deepen, mouth falling open in disbelief. The scrunched up, troubled expression the older member makes was too good to pass up on teasing so Jungkook can’t help but to lean close, voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper.

“What? Were you speaking to a ghost this entire time hyung?”

“Aish! Don’t say that! That actually gave me chills!” Jimin scowls, smacking the youngest repeatedly on the arm and causing Jungkook to cackle and skip away from the assault.

“Anyways, Namjoon-hyung wants to go over the script again so I went to go find you.”

“Oh, okay. Let’s go then.”

Brushing down his jacket, Jimin gets up, taking both plates with him, discarding his own empty one while Jungkook gleefully takes the one Juyeon hadn’t touched. The two head out and begin to make their way back to the artist dressing room, with Jungkook talking around mouthfuls of food about what Jimin had apparently missed while he was away but all Jimin could think about was his meeting with Juyeon.

There’s no way he could’ve imagined it all in his head — he’s too young to be going senile. Plus, it felt too real for it to be some overworked hallucination (besides, he doesn’t feel that jet lagged). So there’s a perfectly, logical explanation for it. Yeah, he just…walks really fast.

“Jimin-hyung is here!” Jungkook calls out to the rest of the members. He gets a myriad of boisterous responses and greetings. The sound makes him inadvertently grin.

“Yeah, yeah I’m coming. I didn’t think you would miss me that badly; I was gone for ten minutes.”

Thoughts of his mysterious friend are pushed away for some other time but the wise words he’s been given remain at the forefront of Jimin’s mind. Perhaps the next time he runs into Juyeon, he’ll treat him to a drink or two during the celebratory dinners — get to know him better.

He’s not sure what it is about Juyeon that makes him want to befriend him so intently, like there’s something about him….

Something that’s a little melancholy….and maybe, he dare say, a little lonely.

But to the singer’s dismay, he never really did see him again.

#jimin x reader #jimin fanfic #park jimin fanfic #jimin insert reader #jimin insert fic #bts fanfic #jimin fluff #jimin imagines #park jimin fanfics #park jimin insert reader #jimin x insert reader #bts supernatural au #guardian demon!jimin #jimin scenario #park jimin scenarios #park jimin fluff #park jimin fics #jimin fic

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drethanramslay · 4 years

Note

67 & 74 for Bryce x MC? ☺️

Thanks for the ask @chaotic-pixie 😊

#67-“I’m already home.”

#74-“I didn’t take you for the settling down type.”

You can find the prompt list here.

Taglist: @miyakokurono @trappedinfandoms @openheart12 @sekizincimektup @x-kyne-x @paulfwesley @zeniamiii @an-urban-witch-ig @ramseyegerton @noboundariesplease @mrsdr-ethan-ramsey @newcolonies @mkamra2355 @unluckygs @choices-love-affair @kaavyaethanramsey @caseyvalentineramsey @virtualrain202 @squishywizardhq @junehiratas @lilyvalentine @nooruleman @cordonianbleu @agent-breakdance @jamespotterthefirst @choicesfanaf (if you want to be added or removed from the taglist, let me know ☺️)

Author's note: the MC is Aliya Acharya.

Also this is my first time writing this pairing so I hope you like it😅😊

Also... I tried adding the read more tag but did Tumblr work? I will leave you to guess the answer. So sorry for the long Post.

🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃

Home alone

Bryce was sitting in the pub, bored out of his mind. It was one of his buddies birthday and they were doing a pub crawl all night. Once upon a time, this was his scene. Drinking and partying was what he was known for. You don't get the title 'party god Lahela' just like that.

But in the last year, he just can't seem to enjoy himself at parties. It's not because he was adulting or because he was growing old and boring. It was because of her.

Aliya. His angel.

She was unique and one of a kind. She had shifted to Boston from Mumbai for med school and ended up in Edenbrook for her internship. She was a firecracker and her sense of humour was off the charts. She has a black belt in judo and lives McDonald's to an unhealthy level. He could write a goddamn thesis on her because he liked her.

He really liked her so much and the intensity of his feelings for her always bubbled to the surface whenever he thought about her. Bryce always had a way with words and he was never one to get flustered.

But around her, his words would muddle up and he would get speechless at times.

They weren't official or anything but he slowly started wishing that they could date so that he could show her that he was the best boyfriend ever.

Leaning his head on his hand, he unlocked his phone. He saw his home screen and smiled. It was a picture of the two of them where Aliya was sitting on his lap smiling while Bryce had his arms around her and was grinning.

Ugh, I'm such a sap, snap out of it Lahela. Bryce face palmed mentally.

He opened text messaging to see what Aliya was up to.

Bidding goodbye he slipped in ti the night, making his way to Aliya's penthouse.

🥘🥘🥘🥘🥘🥘🥘🥘🥘🥘🥘🥘🥘🥘🥘🥘

"Hey there Bryce." She said as she hugged him. Bryce gathered her in his arms and kissed her forehead.

"Hey angel. What's up?"

"I'm cooking Indian food because I am seriously missing it." She said as they headed to the kitchen where an aroma of spices hit his senses, making him salivate.

"Dammnnn.. I am starving." He said as he sat on the barstool near the counter.

"You literally had a plate of Onion rings at the party!" She said as she turned her back and stirred the pot with the spatula.

"I am a growing boy." He pouted.

She turned around with a hand on her waist and the spatula pointing at him. She looked like she had just stepped out of 'real housewives'. Bryce couldn't help but click a picture.

"Lahela! You are gonna delete that right now."

"Sorry angel. It's just so beautiful and it's peak comedy. Also, my new wallpaper." I said as I showed her the photo on my lockscreen.

She just sighed. "I can never win, can I?"

I just shook my head and she ruffled my hair. "Bad boy."

"Not the hair Aliya! That's not cool."

She chuckled and went back to cooking. They swapped stories and bullshitted each other as Aliya cooked the biryani. After what seemed like eternity, food was finally ready and they got comfortable on the sofa in her room and switched on Netflix.

"What do you wanna watch Bryce? Last time I chose the movie." She asked as she took spoonful of Raita in her mouth.

"Home alone." He said with his mouth full of food.

"Jesus Bryce. Where are your manners?"

"I'm sorry, it's just so good I love thisss." He moaned. "The flavour, the spice and the cashews wow."

"I could not out so many ingredients but I'm glad you liked it babe." She said as she snuggled into his side.

They were silent for a while before Aliya shook her head and chuckled.

"What?" Bryce asked as he looked over at her. Her dark hair was tied up in a messy bun with a couple of strands falling out.

She is so beautiful...

“I never thought that party god Lahela would skip the chance to get absolutely sloshed and hook up with a random girl, to spend time with plain old me."

"Aliya... Angel you know that I haven't hooked up in the last year and I love spending time with you. I rather stay in and see you talk about Star Wars rather that down tequila shots. I am ready to give up that life if it means getting to spend more time with you."

"Bryce... I don't want to change you." She said as she looked down on her empty plate.

"Aliya." He cupped her face and made her look up. He stared into her dark brown eyes. "You make me want to be a better man for you. You make me want to give you the world. I am so grateful to you for helping me in so many ways. I am thankful to you for being patient with me as I came in terms with my past. I am so thankful that because of you, me and Keiki have a better relationship."

"I... I just want to be your boyfriend." He said as he rubbed his thumb across her cheekbones.

The way her face lit up with joy was one of the most delightful sight he had ever seen. No sun rise could ever compare to the way her face shone with happiness, affection and love.

"I would love that Bryce. I would love to be your girlfriend. Will you be my boyfriend?"

"That's what I just asked!" They both laughed as they snuggled into the blanket.

Bryce snorted. "Who would have thought.."

"Same.... I didn’t take you for the settling down type. I was thinking that I was going to be your friend with benefits forever!!"

"Nah.. you are my Aliya, my angel, my girlfriend. Ain't nothing gonna change that." He threw his arm around her shoulders and cuddled as they watched the movie.

🛋️🛋️🛋️🛋️🛋️🛋️🛋️🛋️🛋️🛋️🛋️🛋️🛋️🛋️🛋️🛋️

For those of yall who have no idea what biryani is-

(yap my fam and me made it the other day lmao)

#anushka writes #writing prompts #long post #choices stories we play #choices stories you play #choices oh #choices #playchoices #open heart 2 #open heart fanfiction #open heart mc #open heart #bryce x mc #oh bryce #open heart bryce #bryce lahela

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zxddy-panther · 4 years

Text

Blessed

A/N: Hey guysss! I really feel so bad for not writing at all but I finally have something out for you guys. For all those who are still wondering, yes I am still going to write my Summer Walker inspired BP series. I just have to get all these drafts posted for yall before I post them. This one kind of took a while so I hope you all enjoy it. Also if you want to read all my stories I do have a masterlist posted but all my works are on my wattpad (@zxddy_panther)

Erik X Black!reader

Summary: A breakup between you and Erik has led you both into a deep hole of despair but there is still a light at the end of the tunnel.

Warning: Self harm, depression, some fluff later on

You wandered the rainy streets of Albany with your dark hoodie, walking slowly in despair. Body slouched and face drooping with sorrow, your mind replaying the moments of weeks ago. The yelling, the harsh words, the tears, and worst of all: the breakup. The relationship truly wasn't bad but you woke up to the harsh reality that it was you. It was your own mind that was pressuring you to believe things that weren't true, that weren't real. It ultimately broke your relationship and you had no one to blame but yourself. It has become your biggest and deepest regret letting him go because you truly did love this man.

You loved Erik Stevens but you just didn't know if he loved you too.

*****

The key allowed access to your cold, dark apartment as you tracked your wet rain boots onto your floor. You slipped them off and set them near the door and headed towards the bathroom, ready to commit yourself to the same miserable regime. Turning on the lights and looking forward, you stared into the eyes of a now lost soul. You were disgusted by the person in the mirror because THEY ruined your conscience. THEY ruined your self esteem and THEY ruined your relationship but you soon realized that they.....is you. Your eyes welled with tears as you threw off your damp sweater and opened the drawer under the sink. Grabbing the razor you quickly put it against the skin of your arm and pulled back with speed. Your actions slowed as you watched the dark red blood begin to rise up from the long cut along your brown skin. A numb feeling washed over you as you continued the motion over and over and over again. Place, push, and drag. Place, push, and drag.

You looked down at your numb and bloody arm with tears streaming down your face. Tear drops fell onto the many wounds and made you hiss in pain. "I've gotta get this shit cleaned up" you thought. Your body makes its way towards the bathtub to fill it with warm water. After you removed all your clothes you looked at yourself once more in the mirror. The now scarred lines that ran across your thighs and your new stripes shone red all across your arm. This will always remind you that you deserved this. Your head slowly turned back to the tub that was done filling up, you headed towards it. Placing one leg after another into the bath water, you allowed yourself to completely submerge yourself in the liquid and drowned yourself in utter silence.

*******

Its been about 40 minutes since you started staring at the ceiling fan in your room just mindlessly thinking. You felt so empty and physically drained from all the tears and emotions that you have been letting out. A silent buzzing from your phone woke you from your trance. You rolled on your bed towards your night stand and grabbed the phone to check who was calling you. The caller ID read: Erik. Everything froze and your world stood completely still. You were shocked and had no idea what to do as your hands shook frantically. The vibrating stopped and you took a look at your phone again to see that you had 10 missed calls from him prior to this. "How did I not hear this?" you thought to yourself. "Do I call him back?" The ring quickly started back up and you hit the answer button as fast as you could. Putting the phone to your ear, you took a deep breath and spoke for the first time in weeks.

"Hello?" you whispered. All that could be heard was ragged breathing on the other line. You sat and listened, waiting for any type of response.

A hushed "Y/N?" came from the other side. Your eyes shot opened and your heart rate increased.

"Yes Erik...."

"Y/N.." you waited. "I-I need you please. Im freaking out baby please come back I cant do this without you. I need you here with me Y/N. Please come back to me."

You quickly ended the call and shot up from your bed. Throwing on some clothes, you headed towards the kitchen and grabbed your car keys.

*******

You arrived at Erik's door step feeling crazy for even doing this. You fumbled with your keys to find his spare house key still attached. Inserting the key into the lock, turning it, and pushing the door open you were greeted with a body curled up in corner of the living room. Erik was rocking himself back and forth, sobbing, repeatedly saying your name. You used your foot to close the door and his head shot up.

He looked just as tired and drained as you. His once beautifully braided locs were now frizzed and out of braids. Dark brown bags surrounded his eyes as if he hasn't slept for days. You slowly walked towards him while he rose to his feet. The two of you kept your distance, standing awkwardly in the middle of his living room, until his eyes met yours. When your eyes locked it was like your emotions were also in sync with one another. You watched his eyes start to well up and his face begin to distort as he tried to hold his tears back. Closing the distance, you began to walk towards him and cupped your hand on his cheek. His eyes slowly closed as he leaned into your touch, allowing his tears to finally fall.

"Baby..." he let out. "I-I need you in my life. Its like I-I." His hands began to shake as he brought them up, clenching his fists." Its like I cant live without you Y/N. I don't want to live without you." He looked down and quickly grabbed your hands to hold. "What happened? What happened to us? Was it me? Because if it was I swear to Bast that I'll fix it just- just give me another chance" The volume of his voice started to pick up. "Please come back to me Y/N." His hands gradually rose up to grab your arms softly but, even his gentle touch caused great pain to your wounds. You snatched your arms away and hissed in pain. He looked up at you with a confused look plastered on his face.

Erik had a feeling to what was going on but, he just didnt want to belive it. You promised him months ago that you wouldn't revert back to hurting yourself. He prayed that he was wrong but lifting up your sleeves revealed the harsh red lines across your arms. He closed his eyes as more tears fell from his droppy eyes.

"Y/n. Did I do this to you?" He brought his hand up to your face and brushed your tear away with his thumb.

"No no. It wasnt you Erik. It was never you." You decided that it was time to let him know the truth. The weight that you've been carrying on your shoulders has gotten heavy enough.

*********

"Y/N...Im sorry. I shouldnt have left-" You placed a finger over his lips which stopped his words. Your eyes took him in again once more. His skin and lips still as soft as you remembered. The message was clear as day when the two of you locked eyes. Erik took your face in his hands once and placed his lips on yours. Both of your lips moved in sync while tears came streaming down your faces. He slowly sucked on your bottom lip and let out a small sigh. He missed this. He missed you.

You pulled away for breath but held fast to his body.

"No Erik. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I made you feel like this. That I made you feel like this was all your fault when it wasn't. It was mine. I was always so insecure about how you truly felt about me and-" Tears started to choke you up but this time you let them fall. You were so tired of holding back your feelings and thoughts. "And I always felt like you didn't love me as much as I love you."

The phrase replayed itself in his mind. This was the first time that anyone had said that they loved him. His troubled past had put him in the mindset that he could never be loved. Today was the day that he was finally proven wrong. He always knew that he had a great girl who always found time to see him, even in the worst circumstances. Someone who was always down for him, and someone who would never leave his side.

You heard him begin to chuckle as his smile spread across his face. You looked up at him confused, feeling stupid for confessing your deepest feelings.

"Whatever Erik" You began to turn away from him and started heading towards the door until he grabbed your hand, pulling you back into his chest. He looked down at you while resting his hand on the small of your back. His dark ember eyes starred deeply into yours, unraveling you as you stood.

"If only you knew how much I love you. I'm so blessed to have you in my life but I need you to know that-" He brought his face closer to yours, looking from your lips to your eyes. " I love you more than words can say."

(Please message/repost to let me know if you want to be on the taglist because im still tagging random people :/ )

Taglist: @chaneajoyyy @wakandanblogger @wakandamama @marvelheaux @melaninmarvelgirl62 @killmongersgurl @killmonger-dolan @heyauntieeee @hearteyes-for-killmonger @eriksjournal @hearteyes-ficrecs @justanotherloveaffair @theunsweetenedtruth @supersizemeplz

#black panther killmonger #black panther imagine #black panther #Erik Killmonger #erik x reader #zxddy imagine

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n0iseyniya · 5 years

Text

Baby Doll {2/?}

Warnings: A Dark-Fictional Piece, Contains Eventual Non-Con Elements. (18+)

Characters: (Dark!) Steve Rogers, Reader, OC! Nya. (For Chapter)

Summary: (For this Chapter) Steve starts to show his possessive side.

Synopsis: Steve begins an unhealthy obsession over the reader, which then sprouts into complete and utter chaos.

Note: Hi guys! It’s Niya here, back at it again with another update. This took so long to post because I wanted to jump the gun in a sense, and have Steve kidnap the reader, but then I thought about it and that’s just not how I want this story to go. I actually want it to be a slow burn. But not overly slow. I’ve been thinking about 20-30 chapters. And I want y’all to really enjoy it. Also, if y’all haven’t noticed, *ahem* that OC... is me, I thought it would be cute if me and the reader could interact a little. And I’m such a hoe for Bucky, so it was a no brainer. Anyway, this is the most y’all will ever see of Nya in this chapter, so I won’t be drowning you guys with ‘her’. But I do want it to be noted that the reader is established and does have friend(s). Now that we are done with all of that, enjoy you guys. <3 (Also, if you want to put a face to ‘Nya’ , I have my face as my profile picture.)

Tags: @bookgirlunicorn @ironlady1993 @notyourtypicalrose @readermia

(tags are open 😊)

--------------

Three weeks.

Three weeks of consistently seeing you.

It became a routine.

Every Sunday and Saturday morning at approximately 6:30 am, Steve Rogers made his way to the family owned library to see his favorite little book worm. His day always being made when he laid eyes on you. His smile lifting, his eyes twinkling and his heart speeding up a beat. It was amazing the effect that you had on him.

All his worries that creeped up on him in the middle of the night vanished at the mere sight of you.

You never did cease to ease his pain.

Smiling at himself as he walked down the sparse sidewalk, he rounded the corner of Bleeker Street, pausing once he seen the first glimpse of you. You were laughing, head thrown back, eyes crinkled shut and hands clutching your chest dramatically.

You looked stunning. Carefree and gorgeous.

And if it hadn’t been for the women standing next to you, Steve would’ve been able to properly appreciate the sight in front of him. But he couldn’t, not when she was grasping your arm tightly as she laughed. Her head leaned over in happiness, and her body hunched over as she tried to catch her breath.

Steve tensed as he looked inside the window. Several questions playing a loop in his mind,

Who was this woman? Why was she touching you? Was she your girlfriend? Did you like girls? Oh my God, what if you weren’t into guys?

A thousand questions clouded his judgment and he found himself tensing at the mere thought of losing you before he even had you.

Steve snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the door’s bell jingle, signaling that someone had left. He smirked when he seen that it was the woman that previously occupied your time. Briskly sliding past, he made his way into the bookstore. Making eye contact for a few seconds, he took a mental note of her face.

Brown skin, round lips, a full nose, slanted dark brown eyes and dreads.

He’d get her information, if it was the last thing he did for the day.

Smiling as he walked through the door, he took in his surroundings as if it was the first time coming here all over again.

Walking smoothly over to the front desk, he beamed as he sees you, eyes glimmering when he makes eye contact.

His pride swelling when he seen your smile widen in recognition but frowning when he seen it drop. He tilted his head in confusion, shoulders slouching when your smile didn’t go back into place.

“You’re late.” You spoke softly, smiling.

Steve visibly relaxed, chuckling softly. You had been waiting for him.

“I’m sorry for keeping you waiting.”

You shrug unbothered. “The good news is, Nya kept me company. So, you should be thanking her for my current attitude.” Steve straightened up at this, this was it. This was the moment he could get his answer.

He tilted his head in mock confusion. “Who?” You roll her eyes playfully and pointed to the door. “The girl that you just brushed past, like two seconds ago silly.”

Steve look dumbfounded for a second or so, before finally making an exaggerated realization. “Oh! So, that’s Nya?” Sell it Steve, don’t overdo it. “...is she single by chance?” Damn it Steve, too much.

Your eyes widen in shock, and you find yourself chuckling nervously.

“Um... yes, why Steve?” You ask quietly. Almost as if you fear his response.

Sputtering a response, Steve racks his brain for any possible answer. Bring up Tony! But for what? Nothing! Maybe bring up Sam, he could save him. Natasha? Wanda? Maybe mention Brock? His mouth casts a decision before his brain can. “Uh... well my friend... Bucky! Yeah! Bucky, is looking for a new partner for his... morning runs.” Yep...that sounds right. “And your friend...Nya? I believe, would make a great running partner for him...I think.” Way to go Steve, now Bucky’s going to kill you and Y/N’s going to want nothing to do with you freak. Way to start rambling about nothing and everything, she’s going to really think you’re crazy now.

Steve is interrupted by your giggle. And if he didn’t know any better, he would say it sounded like a sound of relief. You shake your head softly, a few hairs escaping the loosely done bun. “Well, Steven, if you must know, I don’t think my friend will just want to run with a random guy; no matter how famous he may be. However, if you really insist, I’ll let her know.”

Steve lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. Grinning from ear to ear, he can’t help but to make a teasing remark. “Is that a sound of relief I hear?”

You pause for a second, nervous that maybe you reacted impulsively. But you breathe in and relax. Shaking your head, you steady yourself and reply, “Quite the contrary Steven, I was merely preparing myself to give you a rejection. You see, my good friend doesn’t care for blondes.”

Friend.

It’s the one word that bounces around in his head. The one word that makes sense. He doesn’t even harden when he hears the slight attitude in your tone, something he would’ve been quick to correct.

She was just a friend. Only a friend.

At this realization, Steve switches on the charm, ready to lay claim on what he almost lost.

He breathes in and smoothly leans his upper body on the desk, gracing you with his sparkling smile. “So, Y/N, I’ve been thinking, maybe, that me and yo- “ He’s interrupted by your gasp, and you running around the desk, hurridly sliding past him and to the door.

Steve had been so focused on getting you on a date, that he had completely ignored the bell and the sound of someone making their way into the shop.

He raised his eyebrow in confusion, slowly accessing the scene in front of him. You, gushing over the delivery man, who was currently holding a large tote filled with books. Steve grunted non committingly, feeling himself tense all over again.

Finally taking a look back at Steve, your eyes sparkle and you can’t help but to let out a nervous giggle. Taking in a quick breath, you happily rush out a stream of incoherent words that not even the super soldier can understand.

Steve finds the will to relax, and smiles before asking you to repeat yourself.

“These are THE new Jane Fonda books; do you know how hard it is to get these books?! Thank goodness I managed to get them. Don’t they look pretty Steve- I can’t believ-”

Tuning you out, Steve takes a moment to really look at the delivery man before him. He can’t help but to notice the way the delivery man eyes roam you unashamed. He can’t help but to notice the way the man inhales deeply, the way the man gulps audibly. He can’t help but to notice the way that you seem so oblivious to this blatant ogling.

It stokes something deep within his core, and he has to forcibly take his eyes away from the man and give you a strained smile in response. Clenching his fist to his sides, he takes this as comfirmation.

An oblivious woman is a dead one.

----

A/N: Passive aggressive Steve is everything. (1,873 words). Anyway, I hope yall get that Steve is holding back. We’ll see what’s good next chapter. See y’all then. :)

#baby doll #series #dark!steve x reader #dark!steve #dark steve rogers #dark!steve rogers x reader #au #captain america #dark steve x reader #mcu #marvel #dark fic #dark!fic #dark!verse #dark!au

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fairy-made · 4 years

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I dont think I ever said anything about this, but when I replayed the skyrim romance mod after it got an update a while back, it seemed like someone read my random comments about it and like....actually tweaked the mod?? which is really cool imo. putting this under a cut since I think the mod still generally has a bad rep, even though it seems like theyre working on that in some capacity. I didnt really even know what the drama was about in the first place.

literally everything I talked about that could be fixed within a reasonable amount of time was fixed. back then (~3-4 yrs ago) I was a little more tolerant of the “bad boy, borderline abusive” type and while the character himself seems to be intentionally pushy, it seems to be a bit better. if I remember correctly, I think they cut the rapey bits and just worked around it so that bishop was still a brat about your player not wanting to have sex, but not a scary horny nutcase. theres a big difference between “youre gonna have sex with me one of these days wench!!” and “ugh, fine, be like that!” its def not A+, but it is an improvement that still suits the character. I obviously wasnt too bothered with the earlier version back then (had some stuff I was going through), but now I can see the concern, and to me its less cringey. Id have to replay it again to see how I feel exactly, but Im sure its better at least.

they re-did the whole interaction with cael so instead of him talking about how he could give you orgasms like youve never seen, hes cautious of you yet still kind of flirty. a real sweetie. I mean, I like the new bit, but he could also let me know hes dtf a little bit. lmao thats just me though.

the one thing I did not like too much was that they added animations for the sex scenes, and that you had no choice but to sit through them (unless you said no to sex altogether). since I literally set the camera so that I could not see the sex anims, I did get to hear bishops VA during the scenes and Imma just say.......... you should hear them. even if its just the once. lmao. I read that theyre gonna cut out the sex mod dependencies so that you can just have fade to black scenes, and I am for that 1000000%.

now I just hope it gets ported it to the special edition, because it seems waaay too hard and time consuming to do it myself. I tried to start but the list of tasks was just too long to justify working on when I have homework and other stuff to do.

outside all that, I can see why there was such a bad vibe surrounding the mod at first. it all made sense when I read about the drama on reddit, but the harshness was a bit... much?? from what I read, the creator made some bad choices and eventually acknowledged/fixed them. her reasoning and intentions for making them could be questionable, but people are human, idk what else to say. Im just... not grabbing a pitchfork over this and I fail to see any reason to continue that now lmao. she obviously still wants to hold everything together for the mod and do things better so... Im not gonna hold a grudge even if she made bad choices. she ultimately canceled the kickstarter, and this is all ultimately over a mod. a skyrim mod. you either wanna play and support it or you dont because of very valid reasons. its up to you. but either way it just will never be that serious.

I honestly got the impression that she might be a bad person from stuff I read until I got the chance to read about everything, and then I was like wow.. she fucked up, but the worst thing she did was undone the same day it happened so...like... yall couldve just went on about your lives and left this woman alone.

anyway, long talk. it seems like the mods at a standstill, since it hasnt been ported to the SE yet and I dont think the creator herself has made any announcements about actual updates coming soon. but I actually hope things stay positive for the mod.

(also psa, this is for my followers/mutuals if there interested in talking about it. Ive tagged this for the sole purpose of being able to be filtered by those who dont want to hear anything about it.)

Update: so I downloaded the beta for the SE. it wasnt working for me as the dialogue would seem to break anytime after I used racemenu. I literally cant play skyrim without changing my hair, and the person in charge of the beta said to try playing it on a no-rush new game so... I kind of gave up. I had started over twice after already sinking 4-8 hours into those 2 new games, specifically for the mod, and I just didnt feel like doing it again.

Replaying the bits that I could, I will say it is... kind of cheesy. Doesnt bother me much though. I used to write bad fanfiction, so its not the worst. Its just not impervious to being... cheesy at times. Idk how to put it lol. Maybe you could say its tropey? Like something youd read in a romance novel with those dramatic traditional cover illustrations. Not bad. Just, if you hate that kinda thing, you might not be into it. Im not very critical because the alternative is like. 1 other mod? So I just dont mind.

Outside of that I kind of have no idea what my complete opinion is on it now. I intended to find out, but gave up due to modding issues. I was a little younger when I first played it, so I may have different opinions on it now. As I mentioned before my opinion of sex and certain character traits used to be different, and its changed a lot since then. Its still kind of changing even now. I still go “yeah... that was the trauma” about stuff I used to think was not so bad.

To be honest I didnt even remember having an opinion of it as cheesy a few years ago, but now after replaying for the 3rd time Im like... from what little Ive seen so far, its some pretty sharp cheddar lol. So if it is a lot worse than you felt you were led to believe from reading this, Im sorry, and you can inbox me about it. Especially since I may not ever even play the newest version.

#skyrim romance mod #long post

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destroyalovesu · 5 years

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was tagged by the lovely @dizi-s, thanks for the tag !!

nicknames: still waiting for someone to give me a really cool one. any day now

zodiac: the most cancer cancer to ever cancer

height: 158 cm, no i dont know what that is in subway sandwiches sry americans

last movie i watched: vaiana was on tv when i was @ my mom’s so we watched it together. she liked the ending

last thing i searched: susanna koski, this shitty finnish politician who hates poor ppl, bc i was complaining abt how she got crazy high “adjustment benefit” money from the government when she was voted out, meanwhile the government-funded day care i was substituting at today literally doesn’t have the money to pay for a cleaner to come in 5 days a week (which left me scrubbing toilets all afternoon even tho that is very much not my job, but thats neither here nor there). anyway i just wanted to get her name right while cursing it to hell

fave musician: rebecca black (if you only know her from friday i feel sorry for you, you are missing out on some quality indie pop)

song stuck in my head: something by kimya dawson but i cant for the life of me figure out which song??? if you can think of a song by her (or the moldy peaches) that goes “for worse or for better”, hmu bc this is driving me off the wall

do i get asks: sometimes? i havent been active on this blog for very long so not too often

following: my heart, and my two tired but hardworking brain cells

amount of sleep: ive been doing my best to sleep like a functional member of society now that i got a job so i try to get at least 8 hours (during the night time and everything)

lucky number: 42

what i’m wearing: pink tartan pj pants and a very old tank top that has a picture of a drunk tucan on it that says “wild bird”

dream job: id love to support myself with just my writing and performing (tho considering i had to buy my own copy of the last book i was featured in the chances of that happening any time soon arent exactly sky high)

dream trip: oh man i really wanna go to crete again. we used to go as a family but thats not really a thing anymore (the trips or the family). so id love to just go visit our friends alone or maybe with my brother

favorite food: idk if fava is technically considered a food by itself but i sure could eat boatloads of it. also stuffed zucchini flowers and avocado pasta

play an instrument: nahhhhh. i used to play the piano but ive forgotten most of it

languages: finnish, english, and a laughably small amount of german and swedish. oh and im currently learning chinese so we’ll see how that goes

random fact: the ugly road to adulthood is one on which you will repeatedly discover you are capable of both more cruelty and kindness than you previously imagined. also i have a tattoo of carrie fisher on my side

describe your aesthetic: “listen just because you look like a homeless gay teacher who occasionally gets possessed by glitter doesn’t mean i think it’s ugly” - my best friend (aka @lumi-kukka) about my style

alternatively, this box i saw in a thrift store a while back

im tagging @appelsiinilynx, @noir-renard, and @mdzushi, if yall wanna (and havent already been tagged fifty times lmao)

#tagged meme #my post

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jadewritings · 6 years

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You're More Than That Part 8

Author's Note: Giving Dean and John some love that they deserved in the actual show 😭

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader

Word count: 1 , 672

Warnings: Language, mentions of attempted rape, fluff, angst, angsty cliffhanger

Summary: An ex of yours drives you away. But, in doing so, you’ve stumbled upon something much more dangerous. You must decide whether to be on the streets and on the run or with the most dangerous of them all.

The next morning you woke up happy. The room felt more like a bedroom rather than a prison. You'd been on the run from a psychotic maniac but now you felt more optimistic about the future. You knew exactly why.

Sam is a much better guy than I thought, you smiled to yourself at the thought of spending more time with him.

You thought back to last night. He said he didn't want to kiss you in front of the cameras but he did. Albiet, it wasn't on the lips but it was still an intimate kiss by your standards.

A knock on your door interrupted your thoughts and you jumped out of the bed to open it. You weren't expecting the person behind it. It was Dean.

"Hiya, shortcake." He smirked.

"Oh. Hi Dean."

Dean frowned, "If I don't know any better, I'd say you're a little disappointed to see me."

It saddened you. You'd liked him at first, he was nice and funny and kind. But the more time you spent with Sam, the less you forgot about Dean. But the truth would hurt less than lying.

"No, I mean, it's just I was hoping to see Sam."

"One night out with him and I'm no good for you anymore?" He seemed sad.

"No! It's not like that it's just we connected last night."

He looked down at the floor then back up at you, "Okay, how about we stop talking about him."

"Well, I do have one more question, is Sam around today?"

"Wow, okay, that's like the tenth time you've mentioned him. I heard you two had quite an interesting night last night." Dean smirked.

"What did your brother tell you?" You asked, curious.

"Oh it wasn't Sam, it was Cas." He answered, "He told me how you and Sammy pissed Meg off. So, what happened with that?"

"Well I tried to explain to her that she was just confused and she got really jealous."

"That was you're first mistake, you can't explain anything to Meg. But I can definitely see Sammy messing with her for fun."

"So Sam really didn't tell you anything about last night?" You questioned.

"Well, he told me it was none of my business." Dean chuckled and shook his head side to side, "Which, says a lot because he doesn't keep secrets from me. Why don't you tell me what you got up to? Or, what he got into."

"Dean, don't be a pig." You smirked and then chuckled. "Nothing happened, we just had a really lovely evening. Well, except for Meg but she's in the far back of my mind right now."

"Is that why he gave you a kiss on the cheek at the end of the night?"

You squinted at him, he laughed, "Oh, yeah, you can't get away with much around here, shortcake. At least you had a better time with Sam than Cas."

You scowled and crossed your arms, "He tried to rape me, but I got away from him - barely. What did he tell you?"

"He had nothing nice to say about you. But I wouldn't worry about him after your dinner with Sam. I'd be more worried about Crowley and Meg."

"What's gonna happen?"

"He's got a meeting with Crowley."

"Wait, Sam's meeting with Crowley?"

"Yeah, downstairs in the library right now."

"Is that why you came up here then?"

Dean looked away, "Nah, there's a delivery for you outside actually."

"For me? Who would send me something? And especially here?" Your heart began beating fast in your chest.

"I don't know but it's rather large so I'm gunna need you to help me with it." Dean gestured with his head and exited the room, you following after him.

You follow Dean to the front door, wondering what the mystery package had in store. When you opened the door, you saw a grand piano waiting for you with a giant red bow on it.

"I-Is that... for me?" You asked, jaw dropped and in complete shock.

"No one else here plays the piano. So, what do you think?" Dean asked, grinning from ear to ear.

The delivery guy set the piano up and tuned it in the main hall.

You sighed, running your fingers over the shiny black exterior, "It has that brand new smell!"

Dean smiled, "You sound like you're talking about a car."

"This? This is much better than a car." Your eyes roamed over it like you would a sexy man's body. This was gonna be so much fun.

"Nah, you're crazy. My baby takes you places. Chevy Impala '67, worked my whole life on her. She means everything to me. I've had so many memories in that thing."

You looked up to see Dean looking into space, you thought he was the crazy one, "A car can take your body places. The piano can move your mind across anything."

"Alright, Beethoven, play me something."

You sit and caress the keys. You start to play a little Jazz single that you were working on before you'd been taken. Dean snapped his figers, tapped his foot and hummed to the beat.

"Damn. That's pretty good."

"It would sound better if you had some brass and maybe some string to it."

Dean made noises, pretending to be a trumpet. After it ended, you heard clapping at the other end of the hall. It was John. He walked in, stopping in front of you.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you."

"No, it's quite alright darlin. It's great to hear such beautiful music. There hasn't been that type of music in this house for years. I can see now why both of my son's are so taken with you."

"Pops, I was just bein hospitable." Dean added.

"Sure you were, son." He smiled at you then turned to Dean, "Why don't you give Y/N and I some time to get to know each other."

"Are you asking me to leave?" Dean questioned.

"No, I'm telling you to take a hike." John deadpanned.

"Maybe we should ask the lady." Dean turned to you, you could tell he didn't want to leave you alone with him, "Are you okay with being alone with him?"

"Can I trust him?" You asked, grinning ever so slightly.

"He's old and grumpy as all hell." Dean laughed.

John scowled playfully, "Oh, I'll give you old, you punk."

John grabbed Dean, bending him forward with his arm around the back of his neck before Dean could retaliate, and made a fist and rubbed it against Deans head repeatedly.

"Okay! Alright! I give! You win old man." Dean and John chuckled together. They may be mobsters but at heart they were family. John released Dean, but Dean added before he left, "I let you win. No sense in giving you a heart attack if I can help it." Dean winked, hearing John grunt at him and left. John sat down next to you.

"You know any Chopin?" He asked.

"I didn't know you could play." You said, not quite as surprised.

"Only one side. I was never much for discipline."

He played 'Nocturne Number 2' and your hands caress the keys, helping him with the harder part.

"I used to play with my wife, Mary. She was a beautiful pianist. After she passed, I got rid of her piano. Never thought I'd hear one again."

Your heart ached for him, "How long ago did you lose her?"

"Too long to remember but too soon to forget. Sam really never had a chance to get to know her. I regret that the most." John stopped playing but you didn't dare interrupt his moment. You both sit in silence.

"You could have left, but you chose to stay. Why is that?" He asked, shifting to you.

"Many things play a role in that. Some I'm not ready to tell, but Crowley scared me for one."

"The offer still stands. You can leave right now if you want." John sizes you up, "So why do you stay?"

You didn't feel it to be wise to tell him about Daniel. So, you lied. "I didn't know how long yall would have left me live if I'd left."

John grew angry, "I gave you my word."

You scoffed, "The word of a mobster? You think I'm dumb enough to trust that?"

John's eyes narrowed, "I know you're making that up. You don't have to tell me the real reason." He sits in the silence. Something about him is equally endearing and unsettling.

"Sam's never really loved a girl before. There were girls he met and fooled around with but never truly loved them."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because. I see the way he looks at you, how his demeanor changes. Something's there for him." He taps his chest.

"I don't think you'll have anything to worry about. It's too early for love."

"Sometimes, it only takes a second." John smiled at you. You didn't know if he wanted you gone or if he wanted you to stay for his son. "I know him. I can tell he's feeling something but doesn't know it yet."

"Is this the part where you tell me if I hurt him you'll kill me?"

"No. Because I can see it in you too. You're falling in love with him." You looked at him in confusion. "I'm an old man, I've been around for a while. I've seen a few things here and there. I know you won't hurt him. Just don't do anything stupid."

"No need to worry about me."

"Really? So you won't get mouthy with Crowley and Meg? They might be intimidated by us but that's what makes them dangerous. You can't trust people who fear for their lives. Their unpredictable. That kind of person is the last person you want to antagonize."

You could here Sam and Crowley screaming at each other at the end of the hall. And suddenly, a gunshot echos through the house.

"Sam?!"

•Part 9•

Other Peeps:

@mrswhozeewhatsis @handgns @pale-butterfly @xi-i-i-whatsyouremergency @fandomoniumflurry @bunnybaby121115

Forever Tag List:

@everynnox @moonstonemystyk @sis-tafics @katnharper @ackleholic96 @mrssamfuckingwinchester @darknightfrombeyond @mysaintsasinner @is-this-you-manning-up-sammy @nerdysandwichqueen @the-random-fictionaut @carlylynnmikaelsonscamander @faegal04 @sdavid09 @carryonmycobaltangel @blacktithe7 @ronnie248-blog

#supernatural #spn fandom #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic #supernatural fandom #dean winchester #sam winchester #sam x reader #sam winchester x reader #spn au #castiel #supernatural au #crowley

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