#speaking of which the beings just regard gender as it being a Thing. they guess they have one. do they care? nah | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

a-bit-of-a-queer-one · 6 months

Text

I loved Wild Blue Yonder, I thought it was a great episode. But if I see one more person proclaiming that the Doctor saying Isaac Newton was "hot" made the character "finally queer", I'm gonna set fire to sth.

For one thing, since they changed into a woman, the Doctor has, depending on one's definition, been canonically genderfluid/trans/nonbinary/genderqueer. That was made even more explicit last week in Star Beast. So saying that the Doctor as played by a man and using he/him pronouns calling a man "hot" somehow made the character queer is stupid in and of itself.

And secondly, the Doctor has long been regarded as aro and ace-coded by people of those communities and guess what? Aro and ace people really do exist and we are queer. And it would be lovely if other queer people could stop excluding us by saying that characters who provide what little, mostly accidental and incidental representation we get "become queer" by expressing same-sex attraction. It happened with Good Omens and it seems to be happening again with Doctor Who and I am so fucking tired of it

Edit (6th Dec 2023): Several people have pointed out in the notes that there have been quite a few instances of the Doctor ambiguously or indeed unambiguously expressing 'same-sex' attraction and exploring their gender identity/identities in the past, both in the show and in extended media. I just wanted to be absolutely clear on the fact that I was in way trying to diminish the importance of those moments by emphasing the aspect of asexuality and aromanticism in my post. That is not to say that I think anyone was implying that I was doing that, in fact everyone's been lovely (which is why I also wanted to thank everyone for their input, I learnt a lot, especially about the novels!!)

Of course, as an asexual, aromantic and agender/nonbinary person, that is the lens through which I watch the show and relate to the character of the Doctor. This does not make my reading of them any more or less valid than anyone else's. In fact, I absolutely love the fact that the Doctor is a character who speaks to people of so many different queer identities and I am so happy that RTD is exploring their queerness more explicitly, building on what he and so many other writers and also the actors have already established. I just hope that the fandom will respect the aro and ace aspects of the Doctor's queerness the same way they do their gender identities and other sexual and romantic orientations. Part of the reason I was initially quite worried about this was because of my experiences in the Good Omens fandom, particularly post series 2, as indicated in my original post. The other is that I doubt the show will explore the aro and ace aspects of the character as much as they may other queer identities - unfortunately aspecs have a history of being left behind in this regard...

But we will see, maybe I'll be proved wrong! For the time being, I just hope the queer community can celebrate all the different facets of the Doctor's undeniable queerness, including the aspec ones. And as the reactions to this post have been overwhelmingly supportive (I don't think I've seen a single outright negative response), I think this hope is far from unfounded.

(Sorry, this edit turned out to be longer than the original post...)

#doctor who #dw spoilers #doctor who spoilers #wild blue yonder #asexuality #aromanticism #asexual #aromantic #acespec #arospec

378 notes · View notes

eirian · 3 months

Text

yall ready for a gender journey post..

so yall could probably guess i grew up a cis girl. i didnt start questioning my gender until high school after i broke up with my first boyfriend which kind of freed me up to explore my identity as my own person for the first time. around age like 16 was when i first started identifying as trans, and at the time that meant a binary trans guy

after a couple years of getting comfortable exploring my gender i decided hey maybe im actually not a binary trans guy but instead nonbinary. still transmasc and guy leaning but not quite all the way anymore. this became a trend for the next loooong while, getting closer to the androgynous part of the spectrum as time went on

then in recent years (maybe about 5 years ago ish) i started to lean more towards femininity. this is significant for me because growing up i was always opposed to it--i hated wearing dresses, i hated putting on makeup, anything "girly" appalled me and i didnt know why. i ended up thinking its because i WASNT a girl, and thats why i was so uncomfortable with everything to do with being a girl. i rejected it so hard because it just wasnt me.

after living with eden for a while i got even more comfortable exploring the feminine part of myself. i started wearing dresses and skirts and actually ENJOYED it; i started painting my nails and wearing earrings again; i even grew my hair out to my shoulderblades (yeah thats where its at now LOL). ive even started using she/her alongside they/them. and im actually enjoying these things??? it feels like after all these years im finally able to reclaim them because i feel like im finally able to be comfortable with my gender--how my gender feels to ME, not to everyone else.

that was the problem when i was growing up--i was trapped in everyone else's perception of my gender and what it "should" be. i was trapped into a box that was made by everyone else's idea of what i SHOULD look like, what i SHOULD wear, what i SHOULD act like, etc. and it took me until age 26 to fully realize that my gender is what i want it to be, not what everyone else wants.

i dont have to be a guy to want facial hair and a flat chest and a low voice. loving pink and dresses and cute things and makeup and jewelry doesnt inherently mean im a girl. pronouns, features, clothes, even names dont inherently mean youre one gender or another. your gender is defined by you and only you and nobody should be able to put you into a box and define your gender for you.

..having said all this, im starting to explore my gender further, and im slowly coming to the POSSIBLE conclusion that i might come back around to being cis (albeit gnc). nothing would really change about me except the label tbh. if i do end up coming to that conclusion i will be very bummed about leaving the trans community, but i wont feel any less attached to it, as ive spent literally half my life as part of it. i understand what its like to be trans and to love myself as my most authentic self, and thats why im considering this possiblity!

identifying as a lesbian kind of pushed me in this direction as well--i cant remember the last time i felt truly comfortable and happy with a label regarding my orientation.. like ya damn. maybe i am a girl who likes girls LOL. it just feels right and natural for me personally??? its crazy. i love women. if youre a woman i love you no matter the flavor. i love my wife more than all of you though sorry <3

but god please dont take this as me being like "oh trans people just need to get comfortable with their gender and theyll realize theyre cis" that is a bullshit take and i am not saying that. this is strictly my own experience and journey! i am 100% not speaking for every trans person and you shouldnt either.

but ya. dan cis era???? we'll see. no official statement just yet but i just wanted to let yall know where im at in my ~gender journey~. until i confirm anything please still view me as a nonbinary girlthing! <3

#i have to reiterate i am KEEPING the name dan saiyan. and my facial hair and deep voice #like i said. these things do not mean anything irt my gender. they are just part of me #if i say im a cis woman and i have facial hair and the name dan then thats what cis looks like for me <3 #i honestly feel free as hell. im defining my gender for myself now and its the most powerful feeling in the world

38 notes · View notes

donutz · 12 days

Text

Denji x 2000s! reader

Oh hey guys 😛

☆ Warningz - Not really a warning, but reader is gender neutral, though they dress feminine-like within the hotter and colder days, just more covered up on Winter and Fall. Just kind of giving the reader a specific style.

☆ Genre - Fluff ofc, romantic too (^_-)≡☆

@( o･ꎴ･)@ “Woah! Your shorts are.. Super short!”

“... Yeah, it’s 85 degrees outside..”

“It’s just.. I’ve never seen you more showy clothes..”

“You just dress so differently on the colder days..”

“Like um… Like grunge I think that’s what you call it…”

“Do you wanna come?”

“Huh! Oh yeah!”

Denji rushes over to you, excited to follow along with such a cool person.

“Did you shower?”

“...”

“Go shower Denji.”

He groans, keeping his unsatisfied sounds in his mouth. Then he slowly walks over to the shower, his slouched back showing he wasn’t happy.

----------------------

After 5 minutes of waiting, he came out.

Of the shower I mean.

You see his body covered with a towel, meaning he just got out.

You disgustingly squint your eyes and yelled at him to actually wash instead of soaking in water.

“I DID WASH!!”

“WITH SOAP?”

“...”

“GO SHOWER.”

“ >:(” Though he frowned, he did listen.

Damn.

He really wanted to go shopping with you.

After 15 minutes, you assumed he used soap this time. But you don’t want to risk it, so you give him a smell inspection.

No, not in a weird way, just to make sure that he actually washed.

“Hm. You smell clean, did you put on deodorant?”

“Yeah! I remembered this time!”

You start to feel his hands, wondering if he put on lotion.

“Oh wow, you remembered lotion too?”

“... Uh yeah! I did..” His delayed reaction makes you doubt, but his soft hands say otherwise.

You look up at his face, detecting for any lies, but you could only detect distraction from your intertwined hands.

A deadpan appears on your face, before you give him a hug.

“Good job, just work on that washing with soap part yeah?” You whisper in his ear,

“.... Uhhh, yeahh…” He grows more astonished as he realizes your hugs are.. Well, for real!

You pull back while putting your hands on your hips, looking at a sleeping Aki and Power.

“I think Aki can handle her, maybe.”

“.. Ya think Aki will be mad at us?”

“Mm probably at you, but not me. I’m not sure why though, guess I’m just the favorite.”

“I’m glad I’m not.”

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

While walking over to the store, because driving would be too much in Tokyo, nobody disturbed you, as in talking to you.

You could hear the ‘quiet’ whispers of how ‘indecent’ you dressed as a teen.

Mind you even if the shorts are above your knees, your behind isn’t being shown, at all. The only other thing was a short sleeve, along with pretty accessories of course.

Denji frowns at the speech the old men and women speak, leaning to your ear to whisper—

“These oldies are saying a lot..”

“Leave them, it’s just old people being old. Always so judgemental to younger audiences.”

He looks at your face, surprised how well you took that.

“Woah, are you rich?” (He said this because of how you grouped your words together in that, ‘rich-like’ sentence).

“... Denji— we live in the same home??”

“Oh yeah!” He laughs.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

You two arrive at the grocery store, getting what Aki said to.

“Can you get me some carrots, broccoli, and rice?”

Denji salutes in some way, stomping down his foot and rushes over to the sections regarding veggies and grain.

He’s cringey but it’s okay because it’s Denji.

You collect up on some waffles, milk, and a few stickers for Power.

It’s been 2 minutes, which doesn’t seem long but it is, as you two are in quite a small store.

You look in the aisles, but not seeing Denji.

Finally, you find him sitting down on the floor.

“Get off the floor.”

“There’s no more rice :(”

“Did you find the carrots and broccoli?

He sniffs, “Yeah…”

“Then get up. We can find another store. Or ask if there’s some in the back.” (I don’t know if you can do that or if it’s okay in Japan, please don’t be mad).

“Okay D:”

You did end up getting your rice, with Denji clinging to your side every time you walked, unless you ‘assigned’ him something.

Whenever you were looking at what’s on the shelves, he was hugging you, holding your hand, just loving the affection you gave.

“Thank you for your purchase!” The elder man at the counter said.

“Of course, have a great time!” You responded.

You two walked out, with Denji being bedazzled at your kindness.

“Why aren't you like that with me..?”

“Because you aren’t an elderly man.”

“You were just shaming elderly men like an hour ago!”

“Shhhh, people are gonna shame me if you said that any louder.”

“...”

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Arriving home, you found Aki scrubbing peanut butter off of the kitchen counter.

While Power was staring at the TV.

Hm.. I think Aki ‘spilt’ that.

A/N|| Uhm, no me posting this doesn’t announce that I’m back for sure. I just got a sudden urge to write, and an idea. Sorry (⌒_⌒;)

#chainsaw man #csm #chainsaw man x reader #csm x reader #denji #denji x reader #gender neutral reader #gn reader #denji x gn reader #denji x gender neutral reader #2000s clothes #2000s reader #y2k reader #aki #power

29 notes · View notes

davekat-sucks · 5 months

Note

"homestuck fans when they see men: i want him to get me pregnant"

wtf which men are we talking about? they are just seen as goofballs at best or hated at worst. ive only ever seen fans fawning over dave, and even then only the imaginary uwu sad softboy they have in their heads or to ship him with karkat. speaking of which, i think a more popular mindset is that some people want to get karkat pregnant, not the other way around lol

ive also never seen anyone talk shit about any of the women except for vriska (fair) or jade/jane/feferi (unfair as fuck, and mainly because they get in the way of davekat/dirkjake/erisol or their characters were bastardized in the sequel). also ive seen more HIC thirst than hate so...

ill use this as opportunity to say that, besides vriska, porrim has the most delusional and actually sexist fans ever. they dont see how the male approved "feminist" has no personality or interests beyond fashion, her sex life, taking care of a man, and complaining about an imaginary patriarchy when her planet is literally a matriarchy and gender roles in a bisexual society where roles are given according to blood caste.

I'm guessing the other anon mean 4chan for male fans. True. Nobody imagines Karkat as top. Even if his ship name is front of something like KatNep, he's still a bottom bitch. That's why most of his ship names end with -kat. That's how much of a pussy he is. Eridan is more of an alpha than he is in that regard. All it matters to fans of Porrim is that she is lesbian like Kanaya. That's even why even nu-fans of Kanaya like her just for that. Nothing about things like moving on from loving bad people like Vriska, relying on herself to take action, or finding better trust in people like Karkat compared to Eridan. It's all about being that hot lesbian gal. She can't even be called the Mom Friend anymore, because having that label means you are suddenly an adult now and it's pedophilia if is you ship someone who is the Mom Friend. Name one fan that remembers Kanaya has an interest in GARDENING. The same hobby as Jade. The only thing that makes it questionable from Porrim is that this is the same caste that the Ancestor Feferi rules over, where all blood caste are supposedly equal or treated the same way. I'm not sure what would Feferi's stance on gender equalities would be. I'm guessing even with the equality still in placed, there's still underlying racism and sexism still around. Perhaps the fact most Jadebloods are female, there is probably still some sexism from other caste who sees Jadebloods reproducing one specific gender compared to other blood colors that have a somewhat balanced in birth rates for both male and female.

#Homestuck #Homestuck fandom #Karkat Vantas #Davekat #Porrim Maryam #Beforus

9 notes · View notes

bokettochild · 11 months

Text

The Server Thing

Okay! So...

Someone gave me a link to the server post everyone is talking about and here are my thoughts now that I've seen it

It was badly worded.

I feel like the person who made this server was genuinely not intending to go out and harm other people, but rather trying to share with the LU community as a whole that there is a place you can join if you feel you would belong. Unfortunately I think they were more thinking about people like them and didn't even think about how it would feel to those who are not.

I have done this. I have made this mistake. I can say for a fact that it does not mean that they are a horrible, cruel and harmful person, but maybe just someone who forgot to think about all sides of the situation and thus their actions had the effect of being cruel and harmful.

Granted, I am not this person I do not know their intent.

I think the wording was poor, but I can understand the sympathy that some people in the fandom would like to enjoy content without the need to discuss gender identity and sexuality in regards to the characters, because in some fandoms that sort of discussion can be very alienating and sometimes toxic (hello Voltron).

If I had to guess, I would say this person was not intending to cause harm, just... didn't think.

@alasse-earfalas if you would like, I am open to talk. I think your post could use some rewording, but I appreciate the want to create a place for Christians within the fandom. I do know you've hurt people with your post, but I'm going to choose to believe (until proven otherwise) that it was unconsciously done. Maybe if you want some advice or a sounding board, I could help you to reach out to others without harming those around us in the process.

As for those hurt, your feelings are valid, but lets not jump the gun and start a witch hunt over what genuinely looks like it might have just been an insensitively written invitation. Maybe it would be best to speak to the poster, find out their intent, and maybe (like some lovely folks back when I made the same mistakes) help this person to recognize the harm they caused, but without causing further harm and instead with gentle explanation and open wording. I think Alasse may just be in need of some perspective, which you can can share with them!

#asks and answers #heres me being hopefull that the og poster is like me #and just didn't think it through #sticking my neck out here for you op #please just have made a dumb mistake #not lu #christianity

24 notes · View notes

shararan · 11 months

Text

Visual kei, Anime & Arlecchino: a (light-hearted) design analysis.

While I haven’t talked much about it, Arlecchino has driven me crazy since the trailer for A Winter Night’s Lazzo dropped. Not only is she a welcome breath of fresh air to Genshin’s female cast, but her entire design and every single element of it speaks to one of my greater joys in life, that joy being Visual Kei. And so with the Fontaine trailer out I thought I’d do an attempt at going through what aspects of Arlecchino can be compared to common styling elements within visual kei, but also how they can be potentially attributed to the influence visual kei has had on manga/anime as a whole.

‼️ I want to proceed with the disclaimer that this whole post is only intended to point out elements of Arlecchino’s design which are common style elements in visual kei. I’m someone who has been into visual kei and its other related branches for about two decades, wore the style myself (among other japanese street styles) for a very long time, but ultimately I am also just one nerd raving about why this character design brings me joy. Visual kei as a style is by definition very hard to define as being any singular thing, and so my only intent is to compare for fun’s sake!

(I also want to point out that any potential errors, be they spelling or just wording, might escape my notice as an ESL-speaker with eye problems.)

➻ With all that out of the way, let’s start with a brief rundown for anyone who might not be familiar with the heart of this entire analysis: What is visual kei?

‘Visual kei’ as a term encompasses many things. While there are disagreements regarding the validity of calling it a musical genre, visual kei can nonetheless be summarized as an alternative musical genre and movement from Japan dating its origins back to the 80s. Influenced by contemporary glam rock, visual kei has since grown into its own distinct thing over the years with many various sub branches flourishing alongside it.

The ‘visual’ part of its name is the simple concept which defines it: The style is all about conveying the utmost possible of theatrics and extravagance, and it’s in fact just as important as the music itself. Combined these two things turn into the ultimate visual performance, an experience never to forget.

The factor which makes visual kei stand out from many other subcultures and genres is the way it deals with gender presentation. Given its theatrical nature, many looking in from the outside might be shocked by just how chaotically gender and expression is displayed.

Back in the old internet days you would occasionally stumble into memes poking fun at how you could never guess the gender of a performer at first glance; If it looks like a man it’s a woman, if it looks like a man it’s a woman and any other variety of that kind of notion. And it’s true! In fact, some of the most famous artists within the genre are also known for effortlessly turning gender expression on its head (Mana, Hizaki to name but two).

➻ So how does this relate to Arlecchino?

Not only has manga and anime sought inspiration from visual kei bands and artists for a very long time (and thereby influencing a lot of stylistic choices we typically associate with those forms of media), Arlecchino is also designed with that exact type of gender nonconformity all over her!

Let’s start with her hair:

Her hair is THE most obvious example to trace to visual kei. Not only is it one main color together with separated black sections (a very common dye combination), it’s also asymmetrically styled with typical spray straightened spikes and V-shaped/spiked bangs covering only half of her forehead.

Some were discontent to find out that she has a long ponytail, describing it as “feminine”. To me this only further strengthened her visual kei vibes, as it’s pulled back and down the back, separated from the shorter parts like a mullet. It’s not uncommon to see artists wearing hair extensions (both matching and mistmatching to the main hair color) in this exact manner, and the few but dramatic accessories she wears around the knot tying the hair on itself only serve to further enhance it.

Moving onto her face, Arlecchino might at first glance look just like any other anime styled character. However, I want to note that there’s a lot to the details here worth highlighting!

First off, she wears eyeshadow with very dark and sharp lashes and thin, upturned eyebrows. While there isn’t any one specific way of doing visual kei makeup, the fact remains that her eyes does resemble the typical key features that’s become commonly associated with the style since 00s. Her cross shaped irises also resemble the types of contact lenses some artists use.

As for her outfit, there are clear and obvious similarities to bands of the late 90s/early 00s: Ornate outer coat with ruffled sleeves, long pants with similar ruffle gathered around the shoes, waistcoat and fancy collar, as well as the highly decorated heels and claw-like nails on her gloves + rings.

While I couldn’t locate a specific picture unfortunately at the time of writing, gloves with metal claws or outright clawed gauntlets aren’t an unknown sight among very flashy visual kei bands.

This type of overall outfit silhouette displayed is, within the genre, obviously related to Elegant Gothic Aristocrat and western style Romantic Goth. Bands with this type of look might choose (but not always) to incorporate classical instruments and opera like vocals into their sound, as well as put a lot of emphasis on stage performances through the use of props, dancers and choirs. The first major bands to come to mind are Malice Mizer and Versailles, but I’m also reminded of ones such as Megaromania, Art Cube, Phantasmagoria etc.

However, in the case of Arlecchino there’s a somewhat “rugged” air to her overall look, which brings to mind bands during the mid 00s who would opt for a slightly trashier look, as well as a more chaotic heavier, sceamier sound. Leather and latex, shredded sleeves, chains, you get the picture. Bands coming to mind are the GazettE, (Old school) Dir en Grey, D’espairsRay, Born, Saruin, Exist Trace etc. If you combine the two types of flavours mentioned, I also want to mention UnsraW.

We also gain a peek of her ears between the spiked sections of her hair. While she has very simple style earrings, this of course is another common deliberate choice when styling the hair, particularly for artists whose ears are quite literally fully covered in jewelry.

While no particular look has any bearing on someone’s role in a band, this specific type of look is one I personally associate a lot with singers and front men. Highly fitting for Arlecchino whose presence demands your attention!

➻ Conclusion

Arlecchino mostly reminds me of bands that emerged and flourished during the mid 00s, but with strong 90s vibes as a cherry on the top. It’s also worth mentioning how aesthetically similar she is to the band Exist Trace, aka the arguably most famous female band in the genre.

It’s an extremely good mesh with the Fatui as the Tsaritsa’s theatre troupe, and its only more than fitting that Arlecchino debuts alongside Fontaine!

Obviously I cannot say for certain whether or not any of these points I made where deliberate design choices on Hoyoverse’s side (not just for Arlecchino but also other characters in Genshin who all have various degrees of the same influences) or if they’re simply a result of unknown influence. The influences visual kei has had on manga and anime cannot be understated, with many mangaka having drawn inspiration from visual kei bands and artists throughout the years (as well as other related but technically not visual bands such as BUCK-TICK and Guniw Tools) .

Many people assume that visual kei and other alternative japanese fashion subcultures drew inspiration from manga and anime, but it’s rather these styles that have served as the influence instead! Numerous bands have even lended their talents to create opening and ending songs to anime series. Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler is an obvious example of a series inspired by visual kei/ouji/lolita/aristocrat fashion and with visual kei bands performing for it.

All in all, this entire analysis is once again only meant to point out the various elements which makes Arlecchino so enjoyable to me personally as a character. Her look with the large coat in the trailer for A Winter Night’s Lasso made me super nostalgic to when I myself dressed that way on the daily, and when I styled it with a very similar jacket I had at the time. I don’t think people realize just how much contact they may have had with visual kei at first, and I tend to point this out often to people I meet when the topic comes up. I guess this was the essay format of that HAHAHA.

All in all, Arlecchino really speaks to me, both from a fashion but also (bi)gender point of view, and I literally cannot WAIT to finally meet her ingame once and for all!

#arlecchino #sharan talks #i wrote this in one sitting in like 4 hours i need to eat HELP #this is the most self indulgent ill be here for a while #this is a continuation of me getting my highest school grade ever from writing about when i went to gackts concert #and how his perfume is still burnt into my nostrils 12 years later #rare irl sharan lore #anyway #i might make a second post about this but going over others in the genshin cast #cause trust me there are quite a few that share these things design wise

27 notes · View notes

batmanisagatewaydrug · 1 year

Note

Hi sex witch feel free to ignore this if it’s too much.

I’m kinda very kinky and so is my partner, but recently I’ve been wanting to do a cnc scene, which he’s down for, yet I still feel super bad about it? Is that normal? Is it even normal to want to do this? Or less is it normal and more is it okay? It both seems like something I should be really ashamed of and also like something that it’s completely absurd to be ashamed of? I’m an ex catholic so I kinda have a weird view of what’s shameful and when I should feel bad about something is kinda off, so I thought maybe an outside perspective would be helpful? Anyways in short, is it okay for me to be planning a cnc scene with my partner? Should I feel bad about it? Thank you so much, I’m sorry if this is too much to ask of you or if it makes you uncomfortable or anything like that.

hi anon,

right off the bat I'm going to say that I appreciate your ability to separate "is it normal?" and "is it okay?" as questions. a thing that I discuss a lot here is that it's totally, 100% possible to be okay without being "normal." statistically speaking, for instance, very few people are sexually aroused by inserting objects into their urethra, but that doesn't mean it isn't okay to do so as long as it's practiced safely!

in your case, your interest in exploring consensual non-consent is both perfectly okay and extremely normal. people of all gender identities report having fantasies about forced sex in high numbers, with a particularly high correlation between interest in consensual non-consent and BDSM - evidently, you've experienced that part firsthand!

in regards to your question about whether it's okay and you should feel bad about it, my answers are "yes" and "no, why would you?" you and your partner are planning to act out something morally bad happening in a context which allows everyone involved to opt out and no one actually gets hurt. you don't need to feel bad about this any more than I need to feel bad for creating vicious enemies and stressful emotional situations for my friends' characters in Dungeons and Dragons.

it's make believe, it's pretend. people love experiencing bad things and pain in controlled contexts, and I'd recommend checking out Leigh Cowart's excellent book Hurts So Good: The Science and Pleasure of Pain on Purpose if you want to learn more about that. (the book isn't as sexy as it may sound; a lot of pages are dedicated to eating spicy peppers and extreme marathoners dropping from exhaustion... which I guess actually could be sexy, depending on what you're into.)

obviously this is something that can go wrong and requires a lot of work and communication between you and your partner to ensure that it's something that's safe and enjoyable for both of you, but that applies to literally every sex act. there's nothing particularly immoral or reprehensible about what you want to do here, just be responsible about it.

#sex edventures 2022

52 notes · View notes

le-trash-prince · 2 days

Text

thoughts while catching up on DW season 14 or 1 or whatever

Space Babies:

I'm not like, a baby person, so my enjoyment of this one was just okay because there was quite a lot of babies.

But overall it was fun, it was silly, which I think Doctor Who deserves to be fun and silly. Who doesn't love a monster made out of boogers

I think they mentioned aeolian tones in this one? In regards to the bogeyman radiating fear at the right frequency?

The Doctor leading with his backstory reveal on the first companion trip? That's growth, right?

The Devill Chord:

loved this episode a whole bunch. non-binary villain that consumes music? the world destroying itself because it loses music? I'm into it

for some reason when I started seeing promo headers for Maestro, I assumed they were a gender-neutral version of The Master dgfgf

aeolian tones again

Maestro feels like a Kingdom Hearts design and I respect that

I love seeing the Doctor lean on his life experience and all of his loss and his love as his strength, rather than just being like "Yeah I'm the smartest person in the room."

also I think there were just some really lovely visuals this ep

also Susan??? my heart?? I hope we get to see her I want to see her

yes I do love the sonic screwdriver having control over sound.

the music battle... it vibes with me okay

I do think they overhyped the Doctor's fear of Maestro a bit, when it didn't feel like it was all that difficult to defeat them, but I'm guessing these faceoffs may get more difficult as the season progresses.

Boom:

unfortunately I think I will be biased against Moffat for the rest of my life, and this was far from his best DW episode.

I used to think he was good at writing kids?? But the girl in this just basically kept saying "Where's daddy?" which felt like a rehash of "Are you my mummy?", but without the creep factor. Maybe it speaks to my ignorance about kids living in war zones (extremely possible), but she felt like a prop the entire time.

I did think the background setting was interesting, but the ambulance causing all these problems also felt like a rehash of the nanobot ambulance from The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances

Ncuti gave a phenomal performance though, hats off to my guy.

It's funny, I felt like I recognized the ambulance lady, so I googled Susan Task, and the first thing to come up was articles on theories about her role in Doctor Who, and I was like, "I don't care about theories I just want to know what I've seen her in before," and then it turned out what I'd seen her in was three other episodes of Doctor Who. Hence the theories.

I don't have any particular theories about where Ruby is from, but I would enjoy it if she were a Time Lord (surprise Time Lord never gets old for me sorry)/came from the same universe as the Doctor.

Love how the Doctor is like "I can never take you to that night on Ruby Road because of the paradox you could create" (we know it's gonna happen) as if he couldn't simply go there by himself and just. Ask her mom who she is, but DRAMA, BUILDUP OF SUSPENSE, I GET IT.

Also goddamn Ncuti is so fit........

#em post #doctor who spoilers #dw #not putting this in the primary tag coz tbh i don't care to be all that active in the fandom #currently watching

3 notes · View notes

stormblessed95 · 11 months

Note

Hey Storm,

I know you answer asks about lgbtq community and have posts about and just things regarding the community and I had a few things I wanted to ask your opinions on

Recently I saw someone say that you can’t be transgender without body or/and gender dysphoria I guess concluding that they have mental illness, the person did say that they <transgender individuals> did in fact have mental illness. I guess I just wanted to know whether they are picking on transgender individuals or being truthful?.. to some extent….?

I’m not sure but this has been racking my brain for a while so I wanted to see your view on it. I hope I didn’t word anything wrong I’m trying to be sensitive of the topic and I want to clarify that these are not my views or things that I side with especially if it is of bad nature. But please help me with what you know

Mmmm okay, this is hard for me to fully speak on because I am a cis woman. I'm not trans, so I feel like it's a little important for me to stay in my lane a bit. What I will say is that without seeing the original source of whatever this person said that are quoting, it's hard to see what they mean. But from the wording, it does seem like they were trying to dismiss trans people by calling their identity a mental illness. Unless I'm reading that wrong.

Here's what I know, trans people, due to feeling like they arent the gender they were assigned at birth, as well as just our fucked up society in general, do often have more issues with their mental health than cis people do. Which can also just stem from being "different" in a society that condemns differences in brutal mean ways.

Being transgender is NOT a mental illness though. And saying it is would be outdated and wrong. I would recommend doing more reading and research into it if you want, I think this is a good start here, which i found with a quick search:

I'm sure someone else might have even better resources to share too. And just being willing to be quiet and listen is the best way to learn about an identity you don't have but want to be respectful of. Listen to the trans people around you, even if it's just in online communities and what THEY say. Not what other cis people have to say about it. You can't speak confidently on experiences you've never had.

I'm glad you feel like I'm someone you can trust to ask questions to though. That is what I want this space to be. I hope this helps you get started in learning more!

#lgbtqia thoughts

17 notes · View notes

shrike-dyke · 1 year

Text

Unlike the accusations regarding trigger warnings and safe spaces, the suggestion that the prohibition of hate speech violates the right to free speech is at least not completely frivolous. I think this is worth taking seriously.

Now hate speech prohibitions exist at three levels. At the highest level there’s legal restrictions, such as the laws against displaying Nazi imagery which have enabled Nazis to get some of my anti-Nazi videos blocked in much of Europe.

Speaking as a freedom-loving ’Murican, I find these laws clearly in violation of what the right to free speech protects. I mean, what, the Fuhrer’s gonna make it illegal to display a swastika now? What is this, Nazi Germany?

At the middle level there’s institutional prohibitions, such as those prohibiting hate speech in particular settings such as workplaces or universities. These I think are generally quite a good idea, and I’ll explain why in a moment.

At the bottom level there are social restrictions. For instance, there’s a lot of social pressure in certain communities not to be racist, sexist, homophobic, and so on.

And although not formal rules, these norms can have a silencing effect, and place a de facto limitation on the things people are willing to say.

For instance, conservatives and classical liberals are constantly complaining to me about how the words “transphobe,” “racist,” “Islamophobe,” and so on are being used to silence them.

And in a sense they’re kind of right. I mean, people are saying those things to you because they want you to stop saying what you’re saying.

But of course, this is pretty microscopic as far as restrictions on free speech go. So, I guess you might say it’s like a kind of free speech microaggression, right?

And that is what it is. It’s a subtle, indirect way of trying to get you not to say a certain thing. So great! I wanna congratulate conservatives on independently discovering the idea of microaggressions.

But! If you’re willing to grant that words like “Islamophobia” can have a subtle silencing effect, you should also be willing to grant that small acts of sexism, racism, homophobia, and so on can likewise suppress the speech of marginalized people.

For instance: I constantly hear from women, trans and gender non-conforming people that they’ve thought about making YouTube videos, but they just don’t want to deal with the hate, the trolls, the constant misogyny and attacks on gender identity, the public shaming in “Genderqueer and Feminist Cringe Compilations,” and so they just avoid speaking up on YouTube altogether.

So, in a sense, these people are being silenced by the misogynistic and transphobic atmosphere, in the same way that your average YouTube shitlord would probably feel pretty alone and silenced in a gender studies class with 19 women complaining about sexist men.

Now, when I bring this up with classical liberals, they uniformly respond, if you can’t take the heat get out of the kitchen. The Internet’s just like that. Why can’t you just deal with it?

To which I respond, why can’t you just deal with being called a racist on college campuses? Academia’s just like that. And whatever you say to that, there’s the answer to your question.

So, if you adopt a sophisticated view of what free speech means, you have to contend with the following contradictory situation: there are many instances where you have to choose between suppressing one person’s speech or another’s.

The fact is that there is no true neutral when it comes to free speech. It’s literally impossible to protect all speech equally, because some forms of speech tend to dampen other forms of speech.

So there comes a point where you have to choose whose side you’re on. In this case, do you want to defend the speech of misogynists or the speech of women? Homophobes and transphobes or queer people? Racists or people of color? And I’m not talking about passing laws here, I’m talking about establishing norms of discourse. […]

And I can’t help but look at this and conclude that you’ve taken a side in an ideological battle, while pretending all the way that you’re simply standing up for the supposedly neutral value of free speech.

— natalie wynn, does the left hate free speech?

#archive of our own #ao3

12 notes · View notes

peachie-kittie · 1 year

Text

So.

I have thoughts.

Sex and gender and transphobia.

Cw for talks of like- biological sex, in case that would cause dysphoria for anybody. The practice of shaving. Transphobia. TERF talk. Keep yourselves safe. 💕 also jsyk I will be speaking from a western, cis standpoint. PLEASE don't take my word anywhere near the final say.

Also, I'm not sure if this is quite a debate post - I don't doubt it may cause discourse if it blows up. Just me sharing thoughts on shit.

God I don't know where to start??? I guess the easiest part would be giving a brief overview of the goal of terf ideology for anyone who doesn't know like- the basic basics.

The simplest terms I can define it as is the belief that gender is totally made up (understandable) and the current patriarchal uses gender standards to uphold harmful standards (specifically for women) and it should be totally dismantled, along with the systems that support it, so men and women are on equal playing fields.

Neat take. Don't hate it. Dare I say it - sounds progressive.

Something to note before continuing on - terfs say they do not "see" gender. Since they believe gender is completely made up, they choose to see things strictly in regards to sex.

I'm not stating this is a good or bad thing yet - just making note of it. The reason why, I feel, a lot of the arguments go nowhere is because terfs and non-terfs usually have this crucial divide in thinking where one see themselves as gender-blind while the other acknowledges it. Like- terfs will acknowledge gender the same way you might acknowledge a bird flying overhead. Ranging from mild (if not uninterested) amusement, to apathy, or even disgust if you hate birds (or in terfs case, gender as a concept). Sorry if that's a weird comparison it's the first one that came to mind

Okay. That aside.

With this, we can start to understand their viewpoint. Since terfs only "see" sex, and there in society, there are two main sexes considered - male and female - one is the oppressor class of the patriarchy (male) and one is the oppressed class, the victims (female).

Another aside here - this is more a theory than anything, but I believe most terfs see misogyny as strictly hating women. A lot of people I know personally, however, would define it more as the hatred of "feminine" actions/things/labels. Since the female body is feminized (WHICH I DON'T THINK IS A GOOD THING, I'D LIKE TO CLARIFY), anyone with female anatomy falls under that in current society.

Okay, before continuing on any further, I wanna define some things - like. A common right-wing argument in general is "how can gender both be intrinsic and a social influence at the same time??"

So here. My personal understanding of these things.

Gender: Someone's natural lean towards what may be considered fem, masc, and/or androgynous labels/actions/presentation in modern society. In this specific definition, I'm leaning towards labels as gender expression is labeled two paragraphs down. Fluidity in identity varies from person-to-person, and SOME peoples' identities MAY be influenced by outside sources, although it seems uncommon. (Often relating to xenogenders, which is not the primary focus here).

Biological sex: The biological traits you are born with - most frequently, these traits are vulva, breasts, and a uterus + ovaries for AFAB bodies and testes + a penis for AMAB bodies. In my opinion, sex should be COMPLETELY NEUTRAL. Being of one sex doesn't make you inherently more feminine/masculine than someone else.

Gender expression/presentation: This is a tricky subject. The easiest way to describe it is someone's external presentation of their "gender" - whether it "contradicts" the label they've chosen or goes with it! It is not a requirement for someone to dress/act the way their gender's lean is "supposed too" (HEAVY QUOTES THERE) for them to be valid!

Gender/sex roles: The (often harmful) expectations set upon us as people by higher society - and admittedly, the patriarchy quite frequently - to act in the way our sex determines we do to be a "successful man/woman". I gave two parts here as I believe there is good in separating the two.

Sex roles - Any stereotype that can be attributed to reproduction, sexual habits, libido, and "roles" during the act.

Gender roles - Anything that isn't those things, for the most part. Of course, there is some overlap - "boys will be boys" can be used both in the context of boys being called "natural roughhousers" when getting into a fight in elementary school and when a teenage guy sexually harrasses a peer - but it isn't always one in the same.

Another thing I wanna make clear now is how I feel about gender and gender labels and just- things being considered feminine and masculine and androgynous.

I do not believe that it is inherently bad for certain things to be labeled certain ways. With the exception of the human sexes, because those are just bodies we were born into, I do not think it is inherently harmful for certain products or words to have a gendered leaning.

With that said, since gender and gender expression vary widely, we should allow room for multiple interpretations of the word. For example, what I would consider a generally satisfactory description of the word woman below:

"A term most frequently used by those who prefer/don't mind feminine gender expression, although it doesn't exclude those who prefer gnc or masculine expressions"

And vice versa for the word "man".

And for non-binary identities, it would be something alone the lines of "a label used by those who prefer either a mix of multiple gender expressions or wish to totally disconnect; this varies widely, and some may present traditionally masc/fem for a plethora of reasons"

Also, to any terfs who may be happen to be reading this post: surprised you're all the way down here - if it isn't obvious I don't believe that woman = female. Leaving it at that.

Anyway.

So. What was- all of that??? Why did I type all that bullshit out???

So, let's just start with the idea that started this whole fucking post:

A post that essentially said terf ideology boils down to terfs think they know you better than you do.

And like- I can't really disagree but there is some fucked up nuance there. Like, yknow when someone you don't usually like makes a good point?? That's what terf beliefs can feel like - especially if you don't have the mind to really pick apart what's being said.

In the comments of the post I mentioned I saw a lot of things from terfs that essentially said:

"Not really lol we just want people to critically examine their thoughts and the structures around them"

And therein lies the interesting, progressive part. I won't lie - it is crucial that we do encourage meta-cognition (I believe that's the term, anyhow). Analyzing the reason why we believe things, why we want certain things, and why we are the way we are is DEEPLY important, especially in a society where values are often shallow and/or patriarchal in nature.

Hell, dare I say, I believe it's important that people introspect upon their feelings regarding things like femininity, masculinity, and androgynous expressions as there are tight standards to them that deserve to be broken out of. Moreover. those who abide by traditional roles willingly should be cautious as to not accidentally shame others who may differ from said expression.

But then the issue is, how much introspection is necessary?? What is the goalpost??

Speaking from the perspective of someone with OCD - sometimes things or people just...are. There isn't always some secret underlying disease, motive, or influence. Like, literally, gonna be real, you know how with intrusive thoughts they're just Fucking Thoughts™? I think some aspects of identity are Like That™. We don't need to nail every reason we have for doing or feeling a certain way.

And even if there is, that doesn't inherently make the person bad or like- invalid. Like, example: people who prefer women without a lot body hair may have gotten that preference from society, sure, but if they are actively fighting against natural beauty-standards and don't shame women for NOT shaving, then it's not a fucking issue.

Let me say that again

An individual having a preference that was influenced and/or that happens to line up with societal expectations (whether or not it has the potential to cause harm) does not matter if-

They are AWARE that said preference may have been instilled in them/CAN be harmful, not WILL BE.

If said preference has been harmful, they are careful not to push it on others and (preferrably) are actively fighting AGAINST THE NORMALIZATION OF SAID HARM. Like, going back to the shaving thing - shaving itself isn't fun per se, and ofc it can cause the occasional nick or ingrown hair. But other than that, the act of shaving isn't the issue - it's the glamorization/idealization of the hairless female body. But I feel like, in an alternate world where the female body wasn't sexualized, the preference wouldn't be an issue or talking point at all. Of course theoreticals can only go so far, but still - individuals having a preference isn't harmful in itself unless they are PUSHING IT ON OTHERS.

And that, if in a relationship with someone, they will not try to manipulate or be shitty towards the person if they don't shave. And if they do shave, good foe both of 'em!

I remember this one kind of late too but like- I think about another post I saw where a terf went on a whole rant about how like, everytime a woman shaves and another woman sees, it's essentially that woman contributing to The Patriarchy™ and turning against women to hurt them, which??? Like I understand there is a lot of nuance but the general takeaway is woahhhhh you're saying that women who shave can't wear short clothes or the endorsing the patriarchy. Kinda sounds shitty if I'm being real - like, I get that individuals contribute and all but there's only so much you CANT contribute to such stereotypes in the west. There are so fucking many.

Point is that a lot of terf arguments, while progressive in theory, often do kind of have this "I know you better than you do yourself" air to them and they hide it well underneath the disguise of "meta-cognitive thinking".

How this relates to trans individuals should be obvious - it's essentially the belief of "I actually know what labels you ARE/ehat you PREFER you're just acting otherwise for x/y/z reasons"

For trans masc people, it often boils down to "you want the power of your oppressors". Which...oh boy. Like, again, understand the logic - but I don't think other people who have lived the percieved-woman-experience (esp. if they're transitioned in late teens/adult years, when they've probably had years of BS under their belt) would want to do actively hurt women. And that's not to mention the idea that it strips autonomy away from trans masc folk about their own minds. Of course, with younger trans masc folk, I do believe it is important that we do take some precaution - I'm not saying we misgender or deadname if they have chosen a new name/pronouns-

DO NOT DO THAT. IT WON'T DO ANYTHING EXCEPT STRIP AWAY THEIR AUTONOMY WHICH WE'VE ESTABLISHED IS NOT FUCKING GOOD FOR THEM.

But just discuss why they feel the way they do. It's a very fine balancing act and one that deserves a conversation, but not one that I feel super qualified to talk much about in-depth. I just know that misgendering snd desdnaming a young teen (no matter if they turn out cis or trans) is not. cool.

And as for trans fem folk?? Oh boy. The rhetoric is "entitled men want access to female spaces to harm them".

So lemme say this-

Do we earnestly believe in a society like this, where the Patriarchy™ (that thing terfs love to talk about) is super strict about the pigeonholes men have to be in to fulfill the role of being a True Man™ would allow for trans women to safely be in a male space? In a society that encourages blithely ignorant harassment at best and excuses (sometimes exual) violence at worst, do you earnestly believe a trans woman (unless they are still in the closet socially/dressed in abmasculine way that makes them look cis) could enter and exit a male restroom or locker room with guaranteed safety??

I'll give you a hint; the answer is no. And before someone leaves a remark about explaining they may just be cross-dressing or doing drag, don't forget that those practices are also being criminalized.

Not to mention the very real argument of "woman's spaces" not exactly like - fucking guarded. Unless it's a prison, psych ward, or shelter, but then those require more conversation!! Bathrooms arguably would be better guarded if they could be bigger with sinks in each stall! And the thing is-

No matter the sex or gender of somebody, you can always take them to court if they assault you. And before I hear some shit about "male privelege", I want to remind you that trans people are, in general, subject to higher rates of violence than cis people. I think to trans woman to court would not only work out in the cis woman's favor, but also end up becoming a big hit that ends up in another terf list of the shitty people who happened to be trans women.

I have so much more I wanna say but this is already a million years long. I might make a few more posts bc I've been ruminating (OCD's a cunt but at least I get times to think things through, like the terfs like) on this shit. And yknow what??

Trans rights babey!!!

Have a good day - and to my trans siblings, friends, and my lover if you happen to read all this shit-

Stay safe. You deserve to be happy. 💕🪷🏳️‍⚧️

#important #trans pride #transgender #trans rights #trans safety #tw transphobia #tw transandrophobia #tw transmisogyny #tw sex mention #tw dysphoria #hsbsbsbs i hope this was good!!#tw terfs #love yall 💕

9 notes · View notes

gwendolynlerman · 2 years

Text

Things that in Sweden and Denmark that surprised me

I just came back from a 5-day trip in Sweden and Denmark and since I did a similar post when I returned from Finland last month, here is a list of things that surprised me from these countries.

Some of these are common to the three countries (and probably Iceland and Norway, but I haven't been there yet), so I've grouped them together.

Disclaimer: This is my perception as a foreigner from Spain, a country whose culture is quite different from that of Nordic countries (which of course are not a monolith), that has only visited certain cities in these countries, so some things might not be representative of the whole country. I also generalize, but of course there might be exceptions to my statements.

On a final note regarding national languages, Danish sounds deeper and more German-like, while Swedish is very sing song-y. (I've actually fallen in love with Swedish, so I guess that's another language that I gotta learn now 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm actually currently doing the Duolingo course, but I'm considering studying the language more seriously.)

Denmark, Finland, and Sweden

Doors are usually very heavy and are opened by turning the latch while moving the door handle.

Nordic people generally wear minimalist clothes in neuter tones and dress comfortably but fashionably. Many women wear tennis shoes with skirts to go to the office. (I don't know whether they change into heels when they arrive, though.)

There are life preservers next to any body of water (rivers, lakes, moats, the sea, etc.).

Denmark and Sweden

Green traffic lights for pedestrians last for an incredibly short amount of time. Sometimes one cannot even cross a whole street without them turning red before. Also, they don't warn you before they're about to turn red, which is such a pain in the ass. This is especially the case in Denmark.

People cross the street despite the traffic light being red. (We absolutely do this in Spain, it just shocked me that people from Northern Europe do it as well, because it's a big "no" in Germany.)

Finland and Sweden

Gender-neutral bathrooms in hotels and public places

Lots of Italian restaurants

People seem to love salty licorice (even salty licorice sweets that taste like wine, which imho are disgusting, but hey, to each their own 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Denmark

There are many more national flags in the streets than in any other Nordic country that I've been to, which suggests that they are more nationalist. (Nothing wrong with that, just a remark.)

Just like in Germany and unlike in Sweden (where Volvo is the most common brand), Volkswagen is one of the most common car brands.

Denmark is cheaper than Sweden, but since the Danish crown (DKK) is stronger than the Swedish one (SEK) and the euro, it's actually more expensive for tourists from Sweden and the Eurozone.

While automatic checkouts are ubiquous in Swedish supermarkets, they are way less common in Denmark.

Sweden

People speak really quietly among themselves while on the street, so it probably seems to them that we Spaniards are always shouting 😂 (We've got a reputation for being too loud lol)

There are not many supermarkets, but instead lots of convenience stores, including 7-Eleven. (There are also many 7-Eleven in Denmark.)

Many embassies don't have a plaque, but instead have giant flags of their country hanging from the facade. In Spain, there is normally a fence around the property and flags are placed on poles.

Local elections were scheduled to take place one day after we left the country and there were candidate banners hanging all around the city (both in Stockholm and Malmö), just like in any other country. However, we also saw what we think were politicians having rallies on the street and chatting with electors.

The "Free the Nipple" movement is especially powerful in Sweden, since many women were not wearing bras.

Trains and train stations are older than in Denmark, where panels are digital and not analogical (at least in Copenhagen).

Sweden is largely a cashless society in which many stores don't accept cash.

Tobacco is normally sold in small round containers that include something like nicotine patches that are placed in the gums. However, not many people smoke.

Undercover police cars are Volvo SUVs, which is hilarious imo. I mean, how can you take the police seriously when they ride around in the same car as suburban moms?

Bins in public places are not separated depending on the type of waste material, as in Finland and Germany.

Sweden is probably the most vegetarian- and vegan-friendly country in Europe and I love that.

#langblr #danish #finnish #swedish

16 notes · View notes

sneakyfox55 · 2 years

Text

but the monsters turned out to be just trees

hillo!!! :D i’m sneakyfox55 i guess, feel free to call me snek or fox if you’d like!! (or anything i don’t care hdfsjgsdsfhd)

i’m a Christian from the US who likes writing a whole lot, mainly dark and depressing things :DD i have a fascination with horror and the macabre (and skeletons just, generally--) so you might see that on my blog; i tend to forget cw tagging sometimes but i’ll try my best to warn in that regard

i’m currently working on a main Sans x Reader series based off the game Undertale!! which you can find here if you’re interested! fair warning that it is very sad though ngl,, so i have some other fluffy stories if you’d rather read those! (any other warnings are in story tags)

speaking of, i have an official blog for that series now!!!!!!!!!: @never-forget-official

usually fanfiction and fandom as a whole takes up my brain more than anything, and i like a lot of things so expect to see that on here--but particularly i enjoy writing for my favorite game in the entire world cough cough Undertale so more often than not you’ll probably see a lot of stuff related to that here, as well as just UT stuff in general! btw i’m also autistic (genuinely) so Papyrus is my blorbo of all time, Sans being a very very close second so this is a skelebros-centric blog too

ALSO I USE CAPS A LOT AND LOTS OF KEYSMASHES HGHJGJHDGSJHSG

I HAVE MADE A SEPARATE BLOG FOR SWIFTIE CONTENTTTTTTTTT: @and-i-feel-you-forget-me FOLLOW ME OVER THERE IF YOU WANNA SEE ME NERD OUT ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT

*please note that i will NOT tolerate harassment towards anyone regardless of gender, religion, orientation, opinion, disability (physical OR mental), etc. so if i see any of that directed at anyone else i will promptly block you lol

(also please please no politics (will make exception if it’s important to what i believe and/or current events), incest, or selfcest, all of that stresses me out and makes me super uncomfy lmbooo)

with that said, on a lighter note!! thank you for reading all this, i appreciate it and i appreciate you!! i hope you’re having a great day!!! :D

(also, also!! if you need me to tag anything or if i reblogged something of yours you don’t want reblogged, please let me know!)

some account links if you wanna check me out elsewhere ;D

AO3

YouTube (basically just song/music stuffs)

Spotify (alternate music stuffs)

when the sun came up, you were looking at me.

#pinned post

31 notes · View notes

c0rpseductor · 1 year

Text

i realize im preaching to the choir here but it is extremely bold of the autogynephilia guy to insist that the VAST MAJORITY of adult trans women are, like, outright lying about their own experiences based on his having sorted them into arbitrary, unscientific categories AS A STRANGER. extremely fucking deranged

also obviously speaking on a more personal level the proposed "autohomoerotic" type of trans guy is so fucking infuriating to me. it's like, obviously that's going to be the explanation for gay trans men this idiot comes up with because of the view that being gay is "feminine male" behavior, so how do you victor victoria around that if your understanding of how gender and sexuality interact is from the stone age? Well Clearly It's A Total Separate Other Thing.

it's obviously a talking point every gay trans man on earth has heard at least once, like "you're trans because you're interested in pretending to be a gay man" rather than like. the actual situation. you know. i'm very tired i feel like garbage bc it's a bad migraine brain day but like it just frustrates me bc like...i mean clearly it's cruel and uncharitable and transphobic.

my own experience is that i grew up experiencing a lot of "typical" markers of dysphoria and preferring to be seen as a boy or at least "not a girl" and wanting to hang out with other boys and puberty sucking etc etc you have certainly heard the narrative people trot out and i did fit a number of those points. but it was difficult for me to pin down how i felt and who i actually felt i was without also wrangling the fact that i was struggling with a lot of internalized homophobia. growing up even before consciously understanding myself as male i felt a lot of guilt about being interested in guys and felt it was "wrong." for a good number of years i attempted to transform "i guess girls are pretty" into "i'm DEFINITELY attracted to women, a very socially acceptable thing for a man!" while also trying to deny being trans, which resulted in this really absurd attempt to convince myself i was An Lesbian despite having genuinely no fucking interest in women whatsoever beyond liking their clothes. ("slay bitch!" is not actually attraction to women, but try telling 19 year old lestat that, he will not agree.) and, of course, i absorbed a lot of surface level feminist talking points about how Bad And Yucky men are that made me feel that it would be, like...misogynist to not be a woman.

so i did have to reconcile all those things at once, but ESPECIALLY the fact that i was attracted to men to finally, like, be ready to just call myself a trans man. it was finally realizing that despite my shame about it growing up and the feeling that it was "bad" or "wrong" or "not feminist" (????) (my internalized homophobia was weird sometimes) i did like men, but only if they'd also treat me like a man, because i didn't really want to be having relationships with men as a woman. i was like "huh...this kind of sounds like i don't want to have relationships with ANYONE as a woman." and then i kind of realized after a short stint of identifying as bi that i was also like. just not interested in women at all. i had been making that shit up for notes.

so like, i think in that regard it's like...it's hard to separate my understanding of myself as a man who likes men from my understanding of myself as a man more generally, which is why it's especially frustrating to me to hear that twisted into "it's because you have a fetish for gay men" when i had to like. fight myself tooth and nail for Literally 22 years to accept that i am a man AND that i am attracted to men. i was so uncomfortable with who i was and tried so hard to be cis (or at least Not a man) and straight (or at least Not into men) at the same time that i tried to force myself to be a lesbian. despite having no interest in women. to me that was better than being the person i actually was, which was somebody i felt a lot of shame and discomfort about. accepting that i was binary trans and gay was not like "being gay seems cool can i play" so much as having to tell myself "maybe liking men and being male does not make you some kind of disgusting aberrant monster, dude." but god forbid anybody have any compassion about that when it's way easier to get mad at a straw fujo

4 notes · View notes