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multifanderwrites · 5 months

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Anakin Skywalker x Autistic!Reader (Well… Technically Writer) Headcanons

(This will have been sitting in my drafts for a long time. By the time this is posted, the writers and actors strikes will be over. Hopefully, everyone is paid fairly!)

TW: Mentions of ableism (ANAKIN IS NOT THE PERSON BEING ABLEIST! TRUST ME: HE’S THE OPPOSITE), some very explicit asking for consent about kissing (why this is a trigger, Idk)

A/N: This really, really got away from me. This might actually be way longer than the Eleventh Doctor HCs. I honestly debated whether or not to just incorporate Earth stuff into this, but I decided against it because I’m already doing that with the Mixiverse. More on that later. Also, I’m drawing from even more personal experiences. 😔 It’s kind of how I cope.

Part two (NSFW. As always, MDNI)

You’re not like other people. You know that much. And that’s exactly what attracts the Chosen One to you

Much like himself, you express yourself in ways that are entirely different from others. Hell, you even express yourself much differently than the Jedi!

When Anakin meets you for the first time, it’s when he’s still a padawan learner. He’s immediately smitten by you. He loves talking with you about the things that interest you, and how similar you sound to him whenever he’s talking about mechanics.

He’s devastated when he learns that you come from a planet where people like you aren’t treated equally. It’s why your family took you to Coruscant in the first place: so you could be in an environment that fostered being different as a good thing.

Although Anakin knows nothing about autism, he’s willing to learn more. The more he learns, the more he comes to realize that he loves you. Not because you’re on the spectrum… but because you’re a lot like him. You’ve been put under pressure since a young age, and yet you’ve proven yourself time and time again.

Whenever you two go on an adventure- when Anakin has the opportunity, which is pretty rare- you find yourself falling for him too. But you’re terrified to confess your feelings because you know he’s training to be a Jedi, and you don’t want to get in the way of his dreams.

But when he tells you that he loves you… it feels like the world has collapsed. You wonder what you did wrong. And you make the mistake of asking that question out loud… in front of Anakin Skywalker, the boy who’s madly in love with you.

His heart nearly breaks in half when he hears you ask that question. To him, you can’t do anything wrong. He believes you’re the most perfect person in the galaxy. Anakin tells you exactly that, but it sends you deep into a state of overwhelming anxiety. You feel instantly afraid of being a burden on his life as a Jedi.

“You’re not a burden. Not to me. Not to your parents. Not to anyone,” he says, his voice soft as velvet thunder. [yes, I made a reference to B99. And what?]

“But your dream is to be a Jedi,” you sob.

“Why does that matter, Y/N?”

“Because you can’t have attachments!”

You’re overwhelmed now, and Anakin hates it when you get overwhelmed. It’s not annoying. But it definitely feels terrible to see you in such a heightened state of anxiety and frustration and panic.

The tears on your face make him feel awful. He wants nothing more than to take away your pain. He doesn’t like hearing you talk this way. Anakin is suddenly overwhelmed now too, but by something much different: the urge to press his lips to yours. “Y/N, is it okay to kiss you?”

The question is straightforward, simple… and it brings the heat to your cheeks. You’re not sure if you even heard him. “What?”

He can’t help the smile that comes on his face: soft, sweet, and oh so full of love. Love he feels for you. “I asked if I could kiss you.”

“Oh.”

He feels like a little kid when he asks, “Well, can I? There’s no pressure.”

You eagerly nod. And then his lips are on yours. He’s a very gentle kisser. When he pulls back, he smiles at you and holds your face in both hands. “Now, how in the universe could you possibly be a burden if you’re so wonderful, Y/N?”

From then on, you two start a relationship. But it needs to be kept secret. Not because Anakin is embarrassed to be seen with you- quite the opposite, actually. But he’s sworn himself to the life of a Jedi, and attachment is forbidden. That doesn’t stop you two from doing all you can to see each other and spend time together. Whatever that looks like.

On days where you’re feeling depressed, he takes you out to dinner. He makes sure that it’s at a place where you’re able to eat something that doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable, but that also allows for you two to be unrecognizable to patrons and employees… and a place that isn’t too loud or overwhelming for you. That’s challenging but you manage somehow.

When he’s drafted into the Clone Wars, you’re devastated. You barely get to see him as it is, and now he’s going off to war? Top that off with a very secret relationship between the two of you, and the fact that he’s got a fourteen year old padawan now? Why can’t he just be with you?

You completely forget that he’s there. Anakin is right there when you vent out, “He should just be mine!”

To your shock, he agrees. “I wish I was yours too, but I can’t.”

You immediately feel shame. “I didn’t mean it like that, Ani. I’m sorry-“

He hugs you, rocks you from one side to the other to soothe you. The same way your parents would sometimes do for you. Anakin has truly done his research on autism and how best to help you whenever things get tough emotionally.

Oh. By the way, your occupation is in the arts. You have a big bag of art supplies that you carry around wherever you go in case you get inspired by something you see. And Anakin Skywalker is one of your most frequent muses.

So, when you see him sporting that CW hair [not the obnoxious CW variety. I’m referring to the Clone Wars], you’re instantly inspired. And you draw him in action with his lightsaber and that gorgeous curly hair, and you give it to him as a gift when he comes back from one of his missions.

“What could I have done to deserve you?”, he asks before kissing your cheek. He goes on to praise your talent, which you’ve been very insecure about lately.

There are times when you get overstimulated by the world around you. The first time Anakin is present for an instance like that is when he’s taking you for a ride in a speeder.

He’s alarmed at first, but he pulls over quickly to help you.

“What can I do, sweetheart?”, he asks.

“I don’t know. I don’t know. It’s so loud here. I can’t think!”

The instant he hears you say that it’s too loud, he pulls your head towards his chest. Anakin has a tight but gentle grip on your body as he does his best to keep your ears protected from the noise. And he reaches out with the Force, going through your mind to make things a little easier for you as he takes you back to your place.

By the time you get home, you’re mentally exhausted from being so overwhelmed. But Anakin carries you into your room- your mom knows him, and she adores him. She calls him your boyfriend… which is a very scary thing for you and him because he’s absolutely not allowed to have any attachments whatsoever- and he puts you down on your bed.

When you open your eyes, he smiles at you and runs his fingers through your hair. You can’t smile back because you feel embarrassed about getting so overstimulated by everyday noises.

“Y/N, I understand how hard it can be to deal with noise like that. It’s no big deal,” he whispers. The reason he’s whispering to you is because he knows you’re very tired and just want to sleep.

And, after you do all the things you usually do before bed, you fall asleep in the arms of Anakin Skywalker. And even though he has no choice but to leave, he makes sure to leave a note on your nightstand that says “So sorry I had to leave. I would’ve stayed with you all night if I could’ve. But duty calls. I love you. See you soon, my star”. Gosh, what a sweetheart.

Sometimes, Anakin gets very protective of you, especially when he comes across people from your birth planet.

And if he finds out that they’ve- as he so bluntly puts it- “wronged you”… he’s even more protective. He won’t let you out of his sight because he’s terrified of you getting hurt again.

When Anakin crosses paths with a person who was supposed to be your friend, he’s instantly upset with them because he can sense that they didn’t love you as much as they really should’ve. And as much as he’d like to see them in the same pain you suffered, he’s wise enough to know that you wouldn’t want that.

However, he doesn’t let that “friend” get away without knowing the face of the man who loves you more than anything else he’s ever known.

When your birthday comes around, Anakin gives you a new set of art supplies. He knows you very well, and this only proves that.

All in all, Anakin Skywalker is the boyfriend of the century. And come what may, he’ll never stop loving you. Though that might be your undoing… but let’s just assume that he never turns to the Dark Side, shall we? After all, this is a different love story. And who knows? Maybe you foil the plot to overthrow the Republic!

If that’s the case, then hurrah! You and Anakin live happily ever after with four children! (Three sons, one daughter: Luke, Leia, Finn and Poe) Also, Obi-Wan is happy to help. And Anakin welcomes his help because he knows how difficult life can get. Not because of you being on the spectrum… but because this is Star Wars, not Star Domestic Life.

However, if you prefer the original trilogy… then yeah. You’re doomed. But, on the bright side, you know for certain that there is good in Anakin. Your son is proof of that.

But let’s just stay in the reality that has the happy ending.

#anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker #Anakin skywalker x autistic!reader #headcanons #star wars prequels #soft bby #hayden christensen #soft Anakin skywalker #autistic!reader #fanfiction #soft!anakin #star wars #darth vader

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snnnailmail · 1 year

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I see you need some Howdy requests °^°, I am here to provide!

I think it would be cool to see Howdy grow some kind of self-awareness much like wally. Its small stuff first, seeing a small thin crease line up where the sky is and he probably thinks its just his eyes playing tricks on him. Then it would start to derail to seeing the seems of his friends, and feeling that something is isnt quite right no matter how he twists and turns, his body doesnt feel like *his* now, and we're basically here to try to do some damage control because he draws attention to himself (wally side eyeing him heavily)

-🌼

:DDD here’s something like that!! Sorry if I didn’t hit everything,, when I start writing my own visions take over and I forget I’m filling out a request. Anyways,,, I think the concept of walk-around puppets in this universe is horrifying. Here’s my take.

GN! Reader / Ambiguous species

cw: horror and unreality

additional tags: hurt and comfort (you comfort Howdy!)

Also remember my guy has a Transatlantic accent,, so cool so swag. All that time watching Westerns has paid off for me.

<333333333333

When you step into the shop, you’re met with all kinds of pleasantries.

‘Howdy-hey! What’s the news today, sweetheart?’

‘Oh! You’re just in time! I’m having a special on jokes! This ones a kicker! Heard it from Barns himself!’

Not this.

The seven-foot-tall pillar of Home fiddling with his hands like they weren’t his own. If he weren’t your friend it would be grotesquely unprofessional.

“What’s got you down, Howdy?”

You tried to approach this like it was just another bit. Like he was going to announce that someone had picked up the wrong order and he’d send you on a quest around town to find the oblivious culprit. Hilarity ensued.

The look on his face told you otherwise.

No script this time. Just terror.

He shook his head, like some sort of thought was trying to come loose that he just couldn’t get rid of.

“Oh, ah, nothing to bother about. I just got a late shipment to fuss over… right before closing time, too! A shame. I’ll be getting home late tonight. Good thing my home is upstairs, ey? Haha!”

The change in demeanor was relieving, but you were still uncomfortable.

“Oh… I’ll give you a hand, in that case!”

Two hands found his cheeks, one flipped towards you bashfully. “That’s so sweet… you think I need six hands to get around here? By all means!”

You grinned, forgetting whatever your reason was for stopping by. You stepped behind the counter.

But then you paused. It hit you, that you had never been back here before. No one has.

Howdy looked at you happily, blankly. “Weird, huh?”

“Yeah.”

He headed towards the back. You took a second to confirm with yourself that neither of you were going to elaborate. At least not yet, you think. You followed him.

He did indeed have a shipment. All kinds of inventory. Fruit, snacks, cleaning supplies.

“Our little town sure goes through a lot.”

He was beside you with all four hands on his hips.

It was silent for a moment.

“Who brings you these?”

Howdy laughed with closed eyes. “That… I would love to know.”

The two of you worked quietly. Whether occupied with stocking, or just processing the events prior, you didn’t know. You didn’t mind the silence, but the air was heavy. Like there was something you two should have been acknowledging, but it was lost, or hiding.

You decided to stick around and help him close. Putting up food and taking apart warmers, mostly.

“I can’t believe you do all this by yourself every night.”

“All in a day’s work! ‘Sides, being busy ain’t too bad.”

“Yeah, I get that.”

“It feels good to be good for something. Even here.”

The silence was back, but now you were looking at him.

“Less time to think, right?”

Howdy’s eyes widened, like the notion had been ready to jump off his head the whole time, and he couldn’t believe you put it in the air like that. And then his eyes sank in relief, because you felt it too.

“Don’t be shy to come around when you need to quit all that thinking. There’s plenty here to keep you busy.”

“I will.”

Work resumed, putting everything in its place.

“Be careful, darlin’.” He said, uncharacteristically quiet.

“You too.”

And he laughed, and you didn’t like that.

When all was said and done the two of you looked at the pristine store with some sort of pride, muddled by grief that you weren’t even contemplating before you stepped in. Hazy orange shadows coated the walls and floor.

“How about you stay the night? Wouldn’t want you out and about in the dark.”

“Yeah, yeah. Sure.”

But this wasn’t a sleepover of games and stories and staying up past bedtimes. You just needed to be there, and be real. As real as you could get.

Howdy was gazing out the window of his bedroom.

“Funny how dark it gets out there. You would think… I’m not so sure, actually.”

You scooted over to confirm. His window might as well have been a pitch black rectangle. You could just barely make out the outline of Home and their kind eyes.

You closed the curtain.

The two of you settled down for the night. Howdy’s sleeping routine involved spreading out a blanket and rolling himself up in it like a cocoon, or a burrito, and that was kind of funny. You laid right beside him and kept your eyes glued to the ceiling. A night light glowed softly to the side, shaped like a butterfly. A gift, probably.

Howdy didn’t have many qualms sleeping. He worked too hard for his mind to stay wired through the night.

But you sure made it easier, he thought. He imagined the hours rolling by a lot differently if he was alone with his thoughts. Thoughts of scary things, like the sky. The pitch black sky. Like a sheet had been thrown over the entire expanse of home. Everyone knew what the moon was. Where was it?

You shifted beside him, and his train of thought pushed the breaks, coming to a gentle stop.

Wally approached you the next day, casually, as you were tending to some plants.

“Hi, you. What were you up to last night, neighbor?”

You gave him an odd look, but you were used to nosy neighbors at this point.

“Oh, with Howdy! I had no idea I hung out till dark, so we had a sleepover.”

Wally hummed. “That’s sweet.” And walked away. You let out a breath of air when he was out of earshot.

You’ve been paying more attention to your caterpillar friend since then.

He’s been distant. On the occasion he leaves the shop, he’s always glancing around like someone was going to leap out of the bushes and tell him he’s been duped.

He’s always been suave, persuasive. A cool cat or whatever. With so many arms and hands and fingers you can easily spot the anxiety creeping into his form. Your friends noticed, too. Wally seemed especially worried. Poor guy.

You were at the shop one day, just visiting, checking up. Howdy’s demeanor was… upsetting. He kept all his hands in a ball, fidgeting.

It was well past closing and a little yellow figure was passing by the doors. Howdy ushered you to the back. You went along, albeit slightly alarmed.

“You good?”

Howdy rubbed the back of his neck. “Ah— you bet, you bet. Just don’t want any last-minute customers. Love em’, but they’re a pain to clean up after.”

You weren’t convinced. You looked back towards the entrance, but Howdy had taken your hands.

“Just tell me something.”

Unexpected, but this is the most you’ve gotten out of him about the whole conundrum in a while. You nodded.

“Alright. Now this will sound strange, but I need you to put your hands on my hands. Just feel em’.”

His two lower arms raised towards you, and Howdy was your friend and frankly you didn’t care about how strange it sounded, so you reached out and intertwined your fingers. Gave them a squeeze. Just like everyone else, they were soft and cushiony. If you pinched hard enough you could feel your fingers on both sides, but that would hurt. You looked back up.

“Okay.” He replaced those with his upper set of arms. Not having second thoughts, you took those as well.

And paused.

Solid. Completely. You could almost say they were warm. You looked up at him in alarm, still holding his hands, squeezing them, like if you held them long enough they would go back to being normal and you two could laugh about this, but you knew that wasn’t a possibility. Your thumb was on his wrist. It was beating, flowing.

“There is something terribly wrong with me.”

#howdy pillar x reader #howdy pillar x you #welcome home x reader #welcome home x you #howdy pillar #welcome home x y/n #howdy pillar x y/n

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renata-has-thoughts · 1 year

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W/c: ~1.7k Pairing: gn!reader x John Constantine

Includes: NSFW, Top reader, handjobs, masturbation, car sex (sorta…ig…car handjobs?). 18+ per usual.

A/N: I HAVEN’T WRITTEN IN FOREVER. I’ll spare everyone the details, but this was quite possibly the worst period in my life to start a Tumblr blog. Shits been crazy. I’ll try and get more stuff out soon, apologies!!

Your boyfriend’s travels never failed to enthrall you. Without a doubt, they always came with surprises, ill-timed quips, and incredulous feats of the supernatural. You took a liking to being his ‘getaway driver’, or, essentially, just the person who brought the battered, bruised, and exhausted man home back in one piece. Especially considering he never ended up getting his driver’s license. It allowed ample time for John to splay out his daily adventures to you from his indefinitely-claimed shotgun seat.

“-I made it so complicated, forchristsake, in the end it was just about giving the soul back up to him. Easy.” John complained, bringing a lit, half-smoked cigarette back up to his lips as a sort of punctuation.

“Odd,” you smirked, “you have a sort of instinct to give it up easily,”

Your hands were on the wheel, eyes on the road, but you didn’t need to have any resounding focus on John to know he was giving you a stare from hell and back. You were thoroughly amused, and paid no effort in hiding a smile.

“You think you’re funny, dontcha?” He replied breathily, as if he had been punched in the gut by your words.

“Mm, in fact, I think I’m hilarious,”

Defeated, John turned his head back to greet the cigarette he held in his hand, eyes once again taking in the road before you both.

It was late, empty, and one-laned, lined by bowing trees, limbs extended as if praising the sky above. It was quiet.

John’s passenger side window was cracked just enough to create an escape route for the smoke to retreat. You could hear the background chirp of crickets and low tones of faraway owls in the thick summer air of the backroads. The atmosphere was pressingly calm.

John never was too big of a fan of calm.

He reached over to fiddle with the car radio with his free hand, still taking draws from his cigarette with the other.

“I’m not sure we’re going to get many inner-city stations out here, Johnny. I’ve got CDs in-“

“There we go.” John interrupted, settling on a strong connection he found. The music was a soft lilt amongst the rest of the night, a soothing and permeable volume. “Wanna know a secret?” John asked rhetorically, retracting his hand from the radio to rest on his inner thigh.

“I don’t really have an option, do I?”

“When I was younger, Blur was one of my guilty pleasure bands.”

So that’s which band was playing. The melodic undercurrent of your drive.

“John, a boy band fan. I can’t believe it.” You teased, tilting the corner of your mouth up. “And to think you were in the punk scene all whilst getting a rise outta probably some tories kids. What a poser.”

John winced playfully. “I had a crush on…fuck, uh…Damon, right. I had a crush on him throughout my teenage years.”

“I’m exceptionally jealous.” You remarked with sarcasm dwelling beneath your words.

“Mmm, well, I don’t recall him ever giving me a blowjob that resulted in what felt like two orgasms at once…so…I think you’ve no competition.” He grinned with heavy-lidded eyes, likely referencing the last time you two had fucked.

“Thank god. You may be a slut, John, but you’re mine, right?” You concluded, sparing a glance to meet his pretty eyes. His darted away from yours the second you made to latch onto them.

You feigned a pouting expression. “That’s no answer, Johnny.”

“Yeah, alright. I’m a slut, just for you.” He sighed, but not without the hint of humorous understanding.

“Atta boy.”

John made a barely audible strangled sound. So small picking up on it would be more difficult than a city station in the furrows of a forest. But still possible.

“Can you repeat that for me?” You encouraged, suddenly vying to hear his filthy back thoughts.

“I said,” John began, pressing the cigarette between clamped teeth, taking the now independent hand down to grope aimlessly one, two times at his groin. He emitted a staggered whimper in a pleased, desperate reaction.

“That’s what I thought. I expect no less of you.”

“Fuckin’ hell…” John grumbled, muffled by his smoking as he continued his habits, fingers extending and contracting around the swell in his pants.

“What a predicament. Constantine is so needy he’s taken to near-jacking off in my car.” You mocked, “Albeit I’m not all that surprised, if I’m being honest.”

“I’ve been away from you for a week now…cut me some fuckin’ slack.” He sighed, returning his hand to his cigarette, his other free hand swapping to pick up the responsibilities.

“I get that, but all I said was that you’re a slut. Now you’re getting off-“ -John impeded your words with a garbled moan- “just to my insults alone. Which…yeah, makes sense.”

“Shut up, I know, I know…” John muttered hazily, now unzipping his pants.

“Shut up? I thought you were enjoying me rambling dirty things to you.”

“T-Turn of phrase, you bastard,” John huffed, palming at the waistband of his now-exposed boxers, toying with the mere concept of touching himself.

“So is that a ‘keep going’ or-?”

“Yes, for fucks sake, that’s a keep going,” John complained, taking a quick drag from his cigarette before thrusting a hand down his pants to aimlessly grope at himself. He added a small, “please” eventually.

“Christ, John,” you chuckled, driving with one hand, the other kneading at your forehead as you shook it in disbelief. “You kill me sometimes. I mean,” you began, resting your elbow on the console between you two, offhandedly gesturing towards him as you spoke, “…I mean, you can’t even wait until we get home?”

“Not when you’re calling me your slut and bullshit like that, n-no,” John moaned, his cock now out and clasped in one hand, cigarette to mouth in the other, with his head thrown back.

“Damn you, pretty boy. Damn you.” You muttered as you felt your body stir amidst his moans. You had another twenty or so minutes to go until you got home. No way you could hold out.

“Pretty boy…hmhnnm…I like that a lot,” his hand was moving lazily now, thrusting from head to base in a tired grip.

“I’ve gotta admit, John, you had me pretty fucked over when you were gone all this week. I swear my moans would’ve turned a deaf man to a hearing one. All ‘cause of you, of course.”

“Tell me how you’d touch yourself.”

“Fast.” You said with finality, reveling in the cacophony of curses that melted from John when you said that. “...and rough. Just like how we fuck, hmm?”

“Yeah, yeah, just-just like how we fuck.” John gasped, breath only coming in sporadic, far between bursts, separated by an asphyxiated period of whines. One of which was a jumbled mess of your name. Soft and uncharacteristically vulnerable.

You’ve never parked a car on the side of the road faster.

“Fuck you, pretty boy. Fuck you and your stupid fucking pretty moans-” You grumbled, unlatching your seat belt and then leaning over the console, finding a position with your knees facing him, hand swatting his away so you could take over jerking him off.

“I love it when you steal control of the situation from me,” John moaned, leaning back into the chair, eyes fluttering closed as you took the reins for him.

“I know you do, Johnny, that's why I’m doing this. I’d go as far to say I know you to a fault, right? Knowing all your…” you flicked several fingers over the head of his cock while thrusting your hand, much to his audible pleasure, “...weaknesses.”

“Know me too well, know me too bloody well, fuck!” He rambled, absently bucking his hips into your grip several times with less than poor composure.

Taking note of his unbridled desperation, you picked up your pace to something nearing brutal. His breath picked up as a consequence you easily reveled in. You didn’t stop exploiting his sensitive spot around the head of his cock, and ended up with a grin every time he whimpered. Thank fuck this backroad was empty.

A low rumble grew in Constantine’s throat as he bit his lip, trying to gather himself under your influence.

“Don’t bother with that dignity bullshit, love. You know I love hearing you.” You reminded, careening over to kiss his exposed neck, with his head thrown back, you couldn’t help yourself.

“Okay, yeah, yeah…please-please keep going.” John sighed, his moans making him tremble at this point. “I think ‘m gonna cum.”

“Then cum for me, make a mess outta my hand.”

“Fuck-yeah, I w-will,” he groaned. Soon after his back arched and his eyes snapped tightly shut, shaking as he did as he promised, spilling over your still moving hand. You kept going throughout his orgasm, using his cum as a lubricant. Slowly but surely, you winded down as did he. His back straightened out, and his eyes fluttered back open to meet yours.

“Well, thanks.” He mumbled, smiling broadly, with the hint of weariness in his voice as he calmed down.

“Anytime, Constantine.” You replied, returning his pleased expression. Before he could stop you, you wiped your cum-ladened hand over his trenchcoat, drying it. He opened his mouth to tell you off, but you silenced him with a passionate kiss. He gave up the fight and melted into it, but when you pulled away, he muttered something along the lines of, “this is my nice coat.”

“Alright. Let's get ourselves back home, shall we?” You said, resuming your position in the driver’s seat, buckling yourself in. John, too, righted himself, slipping his boxers and pants back on with a small, shaky exhale of contentment. You added, as you shifted back into gear and got on the road, “We can finish what we started when we get back.”

“...finish?”

“Yeah, gps says we’ve got 15 minutes to go. Think you can recover in that time frame?”

“Do I think I can recover? One look at you and I’m painfully hard, love.”

“You’re such a charmer, Johnny.”

“I try.”

#John Constantine smut #john constantine x reader #Hellblazer smut #Hellblazer fanfiction #Hellblazer fanfic

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the-illiterate-pirate · 1 year

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Please can I request another oneshot with a female reader. Where she is best friends with Joseph Joestar and they go to Italy together to train their hamon skills. However, as soon as they meet Caesar he falls in love with her which makes Joseph very jealous as he only recently started to feel more than friendship for her :) I can’t wait to read more of your writing :)

Hello again! Thank you for waiting. Yeesh, this was a pain. I don't think I'll be taking anymore love triangle requests in the future. Unless you paid me, hehe.

I hope you enjoy! I tried taking a saltier turn with this one but fear not, we still get our happy ending.

In-A-Godda-Da-Vidda

Woo name change. I feel this one matches the tone better than Jack Stauber. Check it out! It's a long one but it's great

Notes: Fem!reader, female pet names are included, angst, I think that's it!

It was unnatural for Joseph to be acting like some jealous brat. Childish, maybe. But these foreign feelings wrapping around his heart like bramble were becoming unbearable, and Joseph needed to bring an end to them quick.

It had only been a couple days since stepping foot in Italy, and you had already made a strong impression on the blond that set Joseph's blood to a boil. You had him wrapped around your finger, smitten, just like your closest best friend.

Was Joseph jealous because he thought Caesar could steal you away? Of course not! You were smart enough to not fall for his fake charm... Hopefully. He had faith that you wouldn't fall for the Casanova. But Caesar was acting rather bold lately. If Joseph wasn't by your side, the blond would be offering you random weeds and flowers he just so happens to find, telling you sickeningly sweet words that made Joseph want to gag. Gross.

Fear not! Your best friend Joestar would steal you away to protect you from the Italian. Training was taking too much time, Joseph feared. Luckily he was able to sneak away from Lisa Lisa, with you in tow. Rowing a boat was nothing if it meant spending time with you, Joseph didn't care about the subtle ache in his arms once he heard the childlike giggle come from you. He was pulled around all of Venice by you, but he didn't mind a bit. Joseph enjoyed watching you ogle store windows, and comment on the smells of fresh Italian cuisine. You even got him to buy you fresh gelato, something you could finally cross off your bucket list. The time you spent with your best friend was good, hiding away from a (very surely) pissed off Lisa Lisa and Caesar was great fun. The day until you all defeated the Pillar Men was drawing closer, you deserved some time off to relax.

Somehow you both were able to waste a whole day doing nothing in Italy. No more than a couple dollars was spent to make this a day to remember. With the city behind you, you and Joseph watched the sun set behind the sea. It was a beautiful sight to behold, a fitting end to the day. While you walked, the sky was streaked with orange and pink stretching across the sky. Yes, beautiful, but it was your sign that the fun was up, and you had to go back to Suplena Island to face the music.

"Can't believe we have to go back already... Today has been amazing, JoJo." You sigh in defeat, grabbing a hold on your best friend's arm.

There was a cheesy smug look on his face. "Amazing, hmm? I guess you could call it the greatest day of your life, right?!"

"Don't push your luck," You grinned. "Amazing, yes. But today certainly coulda done with some actual food... If Caesar was here I definitely coulda gotten some."

"Oh please, don't bring that cheese head into this!" Joseph groaned in desperation, two hands thrown over his head. You giggle quietly to yourself, "Oops, did I strike a nerve? Sounds like someone is upset. Don't tell me, are you upset because you couldn't take Caesar with you to Italy instead?" You couldn't help to tease him. The growing rivalry between the two was hilarious. Enemies at sight. You would never forget the face Joseph made after Caesar fired back those noodles of squid ink pasta.

Finally made it back to the boat, surrounded with other much better and much more expensive looking ships compared to the wooden row boat you drove in on. Joseph was still salty about your prying even as you neared your very special boat. As you moved to untie the thing Joseph's words stopped you. "The whole point of this trip was to get away from the bastard."

"JoJo, we've only known the guy for less than a month! How are you so jealous?"

"Tch! I'm not jealous! I hate the way he looks at you! Someone needs to protect you from him."

"And how does he look at me, JoJo?"

He thought about for a minute. "Like you're a piece of meat."

That stung you. That shock quickly turned into a dull anger. "Jeez, Joseph. No man is good enough for you! Even as a kid you'd never let me hang out with anyone. You're such a...a–!"

"What was that? Don't tell me you're actually interested in giving that sleazeball a chance!"

"You're a little too late, Joseph."

To help solidify the horrors he dreaded, a familiar accented voice filled in the silence between you two. "There you are! I've been looking everywhere!"

Caesar broke his jog to slide in next to you. He was bundled up heavily to combat the cool Italian night, his hand coming up to hold yours to share his heat. He ignored the awkward silence from your best friend and you, and ignored the angry and betrayed look on Joseph's face to only anger him more.

"What do you think you're doing?! Sneaking away in the middle of your training to goof off? Typical, Joestar!"

"Caesar, please..." You tried to stop with a soft hand placed on his chest. Joseph watched, another nail added to his coffin.

"Cara, you shouldn't indulge him! Going along with his idiotic plans will just get you in trouble."

Joseph's first greeting to his friend was a hearty and quick punch to his face. Caesar was already on the ground before his name left your lips. You dropped to care for him, holding him close as if he was made of glass, you left Joseph still standing, anger so visible in his eye now that it cut through you like a knife through paper.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" You shrieked.

"Me?! You've been dating Caesar behind my back? Since when?!"

"What does it matter to you, Joseph? I'm a grown woman and I can date whoever I please!"

"But you're supposed to be with me!"

He earned himself a shocked silence. As if all of Italy was dying to hear your response. Caesar stood to stare Joseph down, his cheek red from the impact of a wildly thrown fist, unshed tears wetting his eyes. He kept you protectively in his arm, massaging his face with his unused hand. You looked at Joseph just as bewildered, "What?"

"You're supposed to be with me! Not him! It's supposed to be you and me that do all of that cheesy romance stuff together, like calling each other stupid pet names, and kiss in public and gross everyone out! I don't want to do it with anyone else!"

"Joseph... Do you even hear yourself? No, shut up." You forced him silent once he tried to interrupt you, an iron grip on his chin, forcing his face down to look you in your cold eyes. "You had your chance, a long time ago. And you blew it. I'm not gonna wait in a box until you decide you want to have a go at dating with me. I loved you Joseph. I still do! But those feelings have changed, and now we both have to move on."

You let him go and went back to Caesar. He held you closer, a little more softer. The air around you now was uncomfortable and warm, both you and Joseph had your heads bowed in shame unable to look at the other.

You wanted to turn and leave. To look away from the sad sight of your best friend. But you couldn't. It broke your heart to see him like this. You hated how he treated you in the past. Maybe he didn't recognize it at the time, but it was still shitty. And yet...

"And yet, I... Oh, my god."

"Cara mia, what's wrong?" Caesar asked, frightened by your sudden urge to collapse into a ball on the ground, a hand over your face to hide the confused tears seeping from your eyes. You sobbed, "Caesar... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry."

The sounds of your distress caught Joseph's attention, too. An alarm sounded in his head, he didn't care about your fight, now he just wanted to make sure you were okay.

"I-I think I, I think... I'm still in love with you, JoJo. I'm sorry Caesar. I-I thought maybe if I tried to date someone new I could get over him, but now... I'm stuck between both of you."

"Oh, Cara please," Caesar held you close, a hand gently brushing through your frazzled hair. He was so soft with you, but did you deserve it? You were a terrible person. No, you didn't. You just used him, and ended up catching feelings for him anyway. Your heart was a mess, you didn't know what to do now. How could you ever fix this mess.

"Don't cry, my love," All while Caesar spoke he wiped away the tears staining your face. "I still love you, too. My feelings have over grown since we became an item. But if your heart still belongs to another man... I am more than happy to let you go to him. But. If you still have feelings for me, then... I see only one other option for us." He looked at Joseph, blue eyes calculated and serious. "We'll share you."

"Excuse me? Like hell I'd share anyone with you!"

"JoJo! Listen to me, if you truly do love this girl then you'll hear what I have to say!"

The brunet went quiet, but not without complaint. Joseph crossed his arms over his chest refusing to look at Caesar again, but he was all ears.

Caesar looks back at you. He took your hands in his. "Cara. If you love us both, and if we both love you. It would only make sense to take us both, correct?"

"Caesar, I don't... We can't do that. What would people think if they saw me with two men instead of one?"

"To hell with them! What matters is if having both of our hearts will make you happy. We only ask that you share your heart with both of us in exchange."

Joseph had come closer. Like his friend he was sat next to you, a comforting hand placed on your thigh. "And Joseph. Would all of this be okay with you..?" He pouted a little, "It's all fine, I s'ppose. As long as you don't make me kiss Caesar, I'd much rather kiss you."

"Then... I'd love to share my heart with both of you! If you'll take it."

Happy to hear, Caesar placed a chaste kiss on your temple. Joseph followed quickly after, taking the back of your hand to his lips. "Now, let us get back to the island. I'll speak to Ms. Lisa Lisa to lighten her punishment."

"Oh, great. I totally forgot about that." Joseph moaned. "Whatever. Say, Y/n, you're coming back with me yeah? Who knows what you've been doing behind my back with Caesar. We need to get even!

"You've had the whole day with her, idiota!" Caesar protested.

"As friends. Now I get to do all types of lovey dovey things with her!"

#jojo no kimyou na bouken #jjba #caesar zeppeli #caesar zeppeli x reader #joseph joestar #joseph joestar x reader #battle tendency #jjba x reader #jojo x reader

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virgo-mess · 5 months

Text

Silver Thread Chapter 6 part 2

TW: Mentions of death/ dying, loss, trauma, confessional sessions, kissing, crying, Mentions of abuse, Emotionally neglectful parents, an emotional rollercoaster, and lots of cuteness.

I'm anticipating two more parts for chapter 6. Enjoy.

Veda's Pov

They walked around the museum hand in hand for quite a while, having intimate discussions about the various paintings. Veda felt like she was floating, she hadn’t felt this happy on her birthday in years.

“I didn’t know you knew so much about art.” Terry said teasingly as they stopped in front of a Jean Fautrier piece titled ‘Dépouille’. Veda chuckled.

“I am a woman of many talents Mr. Silver” she quipped with a playful smile. Terry chuckled with an amused glint in his eyes.

“That you are, baby girl. Sometimes I swear you have superpowers. A math whiz, a bookworm, and an art connoisseur is there anything my baby can’t do.” He crooned beaming at her. Veda rolled her eyes blushing at the compliment.

“You wanna know a secret” she said in a playful tone, Terry nodded enthusiastically as he took a few steps towards her. Veda looked at him shyly. “Art is my true passion.” she admitted softly. Terry’s eyes softened as he reached out to stroke her hair softly. Veda sighed suddenly feeling a need to confess things she had never told to anyone else, not even her mom.

“Really?” he asked softly as his eyes scanned her face; Veda took a deep breath before nodding her head slowly.

“Yeah, I like math and all, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do. I never even wanted to go to CalTech, I still haven’t picked a major. None of them are really sparking my interest” Veda said honestly, Terry furrowed his brows at her.

“Why are you going to CalTech then baby?” Terry asked in a comforting tone, still stroking her hair. Veda let out another sigh feeling exceptionally vulnerable as she gazed into his eyes.

“It’s complicated. My dad was the one who taught me about art and literature. Before he and my mom got married, he was a painter, he was really good too. He uh, gave it up to be a family man because it didn’t get the bills paid. He taught me how to draw, paint, write stories, and read. He had me reading Shakespeare by the time I was eight, I still firmly believe being a teacher was his true calling, but he settled for construction.” Veda said softly. She hadn’t talked that much about her dad in years, it surprised her how it was still so painful to think about him. To remember him, she supposed it was because she never really dealt with his death the way she should’ve. Veda felt tears start to prick her eyes and a lump forming in her throat. Terry immediately pulled her over to sit on the viewing bench in the middle of the room, He was able to read her as easily as she could read him now, sometimes she swore they could see inside each other’s soul. She had found herself reading up on the nature of soulmates a lot recently, which was something she would’ve rejected the existence of before. But these last few weeks spent with Terry had her considering, hoping, they did exist and that maybe Terry was hers. She was pulled out of her train of thought by Terry stroking up and down her arms in the soothing matter he always did. She let her eyes meet his to see panic and concern swirling in them.

“What’s wrong, please don’t cry baby” he whispered; Veda hadn’t realized the tears had actually spilled over. She gave him a teary smile, feeling her heart warm at how much he wanted to take care of her all the time.

“I’m sorry” she whispered wiping tears from her eyes franticly. Terry gently pushed her hands away replacing hers with his, gingerly wiping her tears away with his thumbs. Veda let out a content sigh as she leaned her face into his palm and closed her eyes for moment. Terry seemed keen to let her take as long as she needed, only speaking when she opened her eyes to look at him.

“It’s okay sweetheart. You’ve never really talked about your dad before” he trailed seeming to be looking for the right words to say to her. Veda forced a small reassuring smile on her face pulling one of his hands from her face so she could hold it tightly. Terry drew soothing circles on the back of it.

“Yeah, he died right before my 11th birthday” she said softly, feeling a desperate urge to get everything she’d been holding in for so long off her chest. Terry nodded, appearing to hold back tears of his own as he looked at her leaning in to place a tender kiss on her forehead.

“I’m so sorry” he said pulling away to look at her, Veda gave him another teary smile and brought his hand up to her lips for a moment. Terry’s eyes softened before letting go of her hand and wrapping both his arms around her waist. Veda smiled again letting him gently pull her onto his lap, one of his hands moving to draw soothing circles on her back as he placed kisses on her shoulder. “I’ve got you baby, let it all out” he said softly letting his chin rest on her shoulder. Veda nodded taking a deep breath as she relaxed in his arms feeling relieved.

“It’s okay, he was sick for a long time, we knew it was coming and we all got to say our goodbyes.” She said Terry continued to draw circles on her back as he looked at her.

“That doesn’t make it any easier though, I know firsthand how hard that is. Is that why you gave up on your art dream?” he asked with very sincere eyes placing another kiss on her shoulder. Veda wrapped an arm around his shoulder before leaning in to give him a peck on the cheek while she played with the ends of his hair softly.

“That was part of it, the other part was financial. My mom really struggled paying the bills after he died, there were a lot of medical expenses, and she couldn’t really buy us things anymore. She’d be working two or three jobs at a time, and I’d be taking care of Danny and taking care of whatever rundown apartment we were living in at the time. I started to think being an art major would be a waste of time and money because there’s no guarantee you’ll be successful. And fortunately for me I’m academically gifted” she said, Terry gave her a soft smile and another kiss on the shoulder.

“So, you had to rely on scholarship offers to go to school then, and CalTech was just the most financially smart option for my baby girl” he said teasingly, Veda smiled with a soft chuckle at his impersonation of her. He always tried so hard to make her smile.

“I accepted CalTech because it was a full ride and then my mom could give my college money to my little brother, Danny isn’t as academically driven as I am. I did get a couple other good offers from Brown, Cornell, Princeston, and MIT but I didn’t feel like moving again, I love the weather in LA too much. I’m staying away from the harsh snowy New Jersey winters as long as possible.” She said jokingly, Terry let out a hearty chuckle.

“There’s my happy girl” he said softly, pulling her in for a sweet kiss that made her heart flutter. “You’re so sweet for giving that money to your brother but I’d rather have you be happy at a school you really wanted to go to. If money wasn’t an issue, where would you have gone?” he asked, letting his fingers run through her hair softly. Veda gave him a shy smile.

“I wanted to go to USC or UCLA” she admitted watching a wide grin appear on Terry’s face.

“Those are really great schools, very prestigious. At USC you can combine as many majors and minors as you want to, you can do art and whatever else your heart desires baby girl.” He said animatedly, Veda smiled rolling her eyes. She knew exactly what he was getting at and she wasn’t going to let him do it.

“You are not paying for me to go to USC I won’t allow it. It’s too late to enroll and I can’t drop out of CalTech without it looking bad.” She said sliding off his lap to stand up ignoring the pout on his face. Terry quickly grabbed her hands.

“Please let me do this for you baby girl. You wouldn’t even have to drop out, you can finish your freshman year at the top of your class and just transfer at the end of the year. You can still apply for scholarships and everything” he said pulling her closer to him. Veda shook her head vigorously.

“No, that’s too much money Terry.” She said firmly, Terry’s pout deepened as he stood up letting out a big sigh. Veda looked up at him with a blank expression. “Veda baby” he cooed purposely making his eyes bigger as he let go of her hands to cup her face. Veda sighed letting a slight scowl make it’s way on her face as she rolled her eyes.

“Your puppy dog eyes aren’t nearly as compelling as mine, Romeo” she huffed playfully. Terry jutted out his lower lip as he rested his forehead against hers, Veda felt a blush spread across her cheeks. Bringing her hands up to stroke his cheeks affectionately.

“Stop looking at me like that.” She said just above a whisper, feeling her heart race the same way, it always did when their moments got more intimate. It always surprised her how easy it was to slip into those kinds of moments, they were new but somehow so familiar. Like they’ve lived this moment together a million times over. Terry gave her a soft smile.

“I just want you to be happy Veda. You have all school year to decide. Will you at least think about it please, for me?” he cooed peppering her face with kisses the same way he always did. Veda couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face or the wave of adoration she felt wash over her.

“I know you do. I promise I’ll think about it” she whispered; Terry beamed at her before pulling her into another sweet kiss.

“Thank you, my sweet girl. Shall we continue to our next destination” he said reaching out to hold her hand. Veda giggled accepting his hand walking with him towards the exit.

“You know good things have come out of me choosing CalTech” she said trying to sound nonchalant. Terry gazed at her with a large smile on his face.

“Like what?” he asked gently letting go of her hand to hold the door open for her before reclaiming it to walk to the car.

“If I hadn’t picked them, I never would’ve even met Margaret which means I never would’ve applied for your internship or met you, and you would’ve got stuck with Bacteria Ben” she quipped searching his face for a moment. Terry looked to be in deep thought as he opened the car door for her before hopping in the driver’s seat.

“I don’t think that’s true. Do you call him that to his face?” Terry asked with an amused glint in his eyes. Veda repressed a giggle as she nodded her head watching as Terry’s face lit up.

“All the time, and what do you mean by that?” Veda asked as he pulled out of the parking lot, Terry smiled sweetly at her placing his hand on her thigh again. Veda gave him a bashful smile in return before letting her thumb softly stroke the back of his hand.

“I think we still would’ve found each other somehow. It’s hard to explain” he said softly looking a bit nervous as he glanced at her momentarily before returning his eyes to the road, Veda gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Are you saying you believe in fate?” she asked, Terry didn’t reply keeping his eyes on the road appearing to be lost in a memory. This seemed to happen anytime Veda asked him something that was too personal for him. She wondered why it seemed so easy for him to be so forthcoming with his feelings concerning her but so secretive about almost everything else. She got the sense that he wanted her love and devotion because there was no one else in his life willing to give it to him. He never talked much about his friends, family, or childhood; she knew he took over Dynatox from his father. That was only because she did a small background check on the company before applying for the internship. There was hardly any mention of what happened to his father after he took it over. Veda assumed the worst and it was only solidified by the fact that the only people Terry seemed to have around him were his older employees. He treated them all very well, Margaret and Larry had told her just as much themselves. They said sometimes he was even keen to ask and accept their advice on some things, though Margaret did admit it was mostly when it concerned Veda specifically. But that lead Veda to believe he had no one else to turn to for advice, no authority figure to give him guidance when it came to intimate matters. Veda had her mom around to give her motherly advice when it came to boys, love, sex etc. whenever she wanted. In fact, they had a very long discussion about Terry last week when she called her up to make sure they were still on for dinner Sunday.

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“Hey mamma” Veda spoke sweetly into the phone when she heard the line click.

“Hello, my Stellina, Kathy and I were just talking about you. How is everything going” her mom, Lucille LaRusso, asked in her signature chirpy Jersey accent. Veda’s accent had seemed to fade a lot quicker than her mom and brother’s. She had found men took her a little more seriously without it.

“Everything is going great actually. Just wanted to make sure we were still on for dinner Sunday” she replied feeling a blush sweep her cheeks knowing the real reason everything seemed so great now.

“Of course, we are Stellina, Daniel promised he would be on time for once. I’m glad to hear things are looking up for you at work. I know you were thinking about transferring. I take it your little crushes on each other have finally faded” she said in an almost smug tone catching Veda by surprise given that Veda only ever told her bad things about her experiences with Terry.

“What do you mean by little crushes mamma? I was very forthcoming with you about my detest for Terry” Veda said dryly narrowing her eyes as she gazed out her kitchen window. Wondering how everyone seemed to pick up on something she very adamantly tried to deny for months. She had even quite nearly convinced herself she loathed him.

“Stellina, I’m your mother we’ve talked enough about boys for me to know when you like one and when you don’t. You always did have a thing for the older ones Veda, when all your friends were swooning over Lief Garrett and the Brady Bunch boys. You were smitten over Harrison Ford, Tom Selleck, and Clint Eastwood. You had to be the only 14-year-old girl religiously watching Magnum P.I. every Thursday night” Veda cut her off, feeling a wave of embarrassment overtake her. As she peered out the window to see if Terry had arrived yet.

“Mamma!” she exclaimed, feeling her face flush again. This time at the fact that she had very much always been attracted to older men but never attempted to date any of them. Even with that all being said Terry was still the only one she ever had any real sexual thoughts or desires about.

“What, that’s nothing to be ashamed of Veda they’re all very handsome. Anyway, I knew you were sweet on Terry Silver as soon as you told me you organized his desk for him. You ranted at me for hours about how he didn’t seem to notice but I could tell you were hurt that he didn’t.” Veda let out a soft sigh. It had in fact hurt her that he didn’t seem to notice yet, she still organized it for him once a week anyway. It seems a lot of their arguments were prompted by one of them feeling hurt by the other in some way.

“You’re right I was hurt by that.” She admitted looking down at her hands.

“You never really could stop talking about him, you always brought him up in the weirdest conversations. I was wondering why you couldn’t admit it because he’s actually your type. I tell you I was baffled when you brought that dirtbag Dutch home-” her mom stopped abruptly and there was a long-winded silence that fell between them. Veda took a deep breath; she hadn’t thought much about Dutch since mentioning him to Terry at the restaurant.

“I think we both know Dutch is the reason I was scared to admit it. I just didn’t want to get hurt again momma” she said.

“I know Stellina, he broke your heart, and it broke mine to see you that way. You were always too good for him; Dutch knew that he just didn’t want you to know that.” Her mom said, Veda felt a smile tug on her face when she saw Terry’s car pull up.

“I know that now momma. Terry and I are kind of dating now and it’s been really good. I’m very happy, anyway he’s here now so I got to go. See you Sunday, love you momma, bye” Veda said quickly as she heard Terry knock on the door.

“Veda!” was the last thing she heard before hanging up the phone.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Terry’s Pov

Terry kept his eyes glued to the road feeling a bit anxious, he only seemed to feel this way when Veda tried to get him to tell her personal things. Part of him always wanted to spill his darkest secrets and desires to her but another part wanted to keep her at an arm’s length out of fear. Only because she didn’t feel like a sure thing to him yet. Sure, she was more open, showed him affection, and confessed some of her own desires to him but it still felt like she could run from him at any moment. Because she didn’t love him yet. Terry already knew he was undeniably in love with Veda LaRusso, and he had been for 4 and a half months. She on the other hand had only just begun to like him. He was positively elated when she had told him she loved spending time with him and that he made her happy. Though clearly not happy enough to allow him to pay for her to go to USC, to allow him to make her dream come true. Now would be about the time he’d call up Margaret and ask her what to do though he was sure he already knew what she’d say. “Just be yourself, tell her how you feel. If you don’t let her in, how do you expect her to let you in”. He had been mentally preparing himself to utter those three words to her since he showed up at her apartment. He contemplated saying it when they had that moment in the car, when he wiped the tears from her eyes, and when he let his forehead rest against hers. But none of them felt like the right time. Something told him she felt the same way, the same way something told him they would’ve still found each other even if she had picked a different school. Veda’s question about fate merely caught him off guard because he hadn’t thought much about the concept. The question, to him, was difficult to process because it meant there were certain things in his life that weren’t in his control. Was having to witness Ponytails brutal death merely fate, a predestined event that no one could’ve prevented? Was his radio going off just fate? Was his contentious relationship with his father just what was written in the stars? After all, one of the reasons Terry enlisted in the first place was to avoid his father’s overbearing expectations and very obvious contempt for him. It didn’t work, he forced him to take over the company, to let go of one of his only real friends, to forget about his PTSD, to put the war and karate behind him all while threatening to cut him out of the inheritance. If fate had a hand in all the misfortune and emotional turmoil, then no he’d rather not believe in it. Because then he’d have no one to punish for it. He’d have to stop dodging his fathers phone calls and ignoring his mother’s pleas to join them for dinner. He glanced over at Veda, her big brown eyes stared out the window looking rather sad and dejected. Terry felt his heart sink and an overwhelming wave of guilt for making them look that way on her birthday. He frantically placed his hand back on her thigh dragging it from her knee to the hem of her skirt in tender motions.

“I’m sorry baby girl. I didn’t mean to” Veda cut him off quickly.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to answer the question. It was a stupid question; I know I ask stupid questions. I’m sorry for being annoying. Just forget about it” she said forcing a fake smile on her face. Terry felt his heart ache at the fact that she thought she had to fake a smile for him at all. And at the fact she thought she was in anyway annoying him.

Terry quickly pulled over to the side of the road, throwing the car in park, before turning to see her eyes trained on the bracelet she was fiddling with on her wrist. Terry took a deep breath quickly assessing that her response had nothing to do with him and everything to do with whatever that sick degenerate put his sweet girl through. Terry reached out to stoke her hair with one hand, Veda flinched slightly like she was anticipating something more aggressive. Terry quickly dropped his hand feeling so many emotions flow through him at once and hot tears pour from his eyes rapidly. It would be the first time he cried in front of someone since the war. The action felt almost foreign to him after all these years as he struggled to catch his breath. Veda seemed to snap out of whatever mode she was in as she turned to look at him with concern in her eyes. Terry didn’t know how he found it in him to maintain her gaze because everything was signaling for him to run as far away from her as he could to keep her from ever reacting that way again. He knew what it was because shutting down was one of his trauma responses too. Terry reached out to her again, this time slower than the last. Veda didn’t hesitate and threw herself into his arms immediately, reaching up to frantically wipe his tears away. Terry let out a breath he didn't know he was holding as everything coursing through him slowly dissipated with every stroke her hands made against his skin. Terry finally let his arms wrap around her body letting his hands rub soothing circles on her back. Both of them feeling content as whatever tension that hung in the air disappeared. The tension was replaced with a newly discovered sense of fellow feeling between them. Terry didn’t know it was possible for them to show each other even more tenderness than they already did but somehow, they managed to. Terry let out a content sigh finally finding it in him to speak because he knew she really needed to hear it.

“You are not annoying, you do not ask stupid questions, and you do not have to ever fake a smile or hide your hurt for me, okay. There is nothing that you could do or say that would ever make me hit you. I would never ever hit you and if anyone past or present lays or has laid a hand on you that way you need to tell me who. I will deal with them, I will protect you, always because I love you unconditionally. Do you understand?” Terry asked softly trying not to scare her. Veda nodded her head slowly taking in what he was saying to her.

“You love me” she whispered; her eyes were looking intensely into his searching for a tell. Terry brought a hand up to stroke her hair as he returned her gaze with sincere eyes.

“Yes, Veda, I love you and you don’t have to say it back. I just needed you to know that so you can understand that I’m not secretive because I don’t care about you. It’s more that admitting you have demons and problems that you can’t fix is like opening a box that you’re never going to be able to close. I don’t want you seeing those horrible things” he admitted, Veda leaned in to place a small kiss on his lips.

“You can tell me all those horrible things Terry you’re not going scare me away, I promise. Let me see all your demons and your problems and I will help you fix them because I love you too. We can close the box together, okay?” she said wrapping an arm around his neck so she could play with he ends of his hair. Terry looked at her dumbfounded.

“You love me too” he said tightening his grip around her waist. Veda nodded looking at him with sincere brown eyes.

“Yes, Terry, I do” she said with a soft smile on her face before pulling him into another kiss, a kiss that made all the other kisses they shared prior look inferior. It was filled with so much warmth, passion, devotion, and love from both of them. It was enough to make Terry believe she might actually be a sure thing.

They pulled away for air after what felt like an eternity looking at each other with bashful smiles and rosy cheeks. Terry began to consider that maybe she asked him about fate as a means to imply that what they had, what they were sharing, was brought on by fate. That they were destined to happen regardless of time or circumstances.

“Can you ask me that question again” he said finally, looking deep in her eyes. Veda gave him a shy smile.

“Are you saying you believe in fate?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I was saying. Were you implying that fate brought us together?” He asked. Veda let out one of her cute giggles.

“Yes, Romeo, that’s exactly what I was saying” she said teasingly with a coy smile. Terry couldn’t help the way he beamed at her.

“This confessional session has set our birthday festivities back a full 20 minutes” he said teasingly, throwing the gear back in drive.

“That’s okay, this is already the best birthday I’ve had in years” she said honestly reaching over to grab his hand.

“I will do everything thing I can to make sure all of your birthdays are the best ones you’ve ever had. Next stop the Natural History Museum” he said looking at her with loving eyes. Veda beamed up at him with rosy cheeks.

#thomas ian griffith #enemies to lovers #terry silver #terry silver x oc #eventual smut #terry silver smut #karate kid

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oncedied · 5 days

Text

Can’t sleep so I’m thinking abt Felvan and Felvos again. They’re a pair of twins who end up falling in with the thieves guild much to the chagrin of Revyn.

Felvan is strange in the regard that he was born with abnormally bright golden eyes that shone iridescent blue. His grandfather, the Nerevarine Llethri Releth, panicked upon first seeing his eyes and their unnatural colors for reasons he refuses to specify. He told the boy’s parents to ensure that his eyes are never visible by anyone under any circumstance, especially by other Dunmer. When pressed he refused to elaborate. It’s believed that he communed with Azura directly and in person for guidance on what to do with the boy’s eyes.

Felvan would often conceal his face under a broad brimmed hat and would wrap his eyes in thin linen — enough for him to see through while still concealing them. This has led to Felvan pretending that he is blind, an act helped by his twin, because that would be easier to explain than mentioning that their grandfather did not want anyone seeing his eyes for some unknown mysterious reason. They’ve also used this to trick people, alongside their general Voros Twins-style stupidity act. How could a blind boy that is also dumb as bricks and his equally as dim counterpart be capable of these genius acts and ploys? Was it sheer chance, coincidence or where these boys smarter than they let on?

They fell into the Thieves’ Guild entirely by accident— they were left unattended in Riften and opted to cause some trouble, which ended in them being offered by Brynjolf to carry out a task for him, promising shiny coin on top of causing some good ol’ unrest, whatever seemed to entice the two more. Whatever happened ended in them thundering through the ratway towards the Flagon laughing and tussling and in general causing a massive ruckus — almost knocking the door off its hinges, startling just about every patron inside. Their chaos was only stopped by Maul booming at them viciously, complete with drawing his weapon — clearly having no qualms with teaching these two young teenagers a lesson or two.

This was only stopped with Samael and Revyn (tailed closely by Teldryn) making their entrance, Revyn visibly tense and trying to conceal his face as much as he could. He had a history with some of these people, after all, and the last time he was ever there alone was the day he left with a promise that if he ever showed his face there again it would be on sight and he would not make it out alive. Teldryn was the one who got Maul to back off only because he got himself between the twins and the mercenary, and used the fact he had a few inches of height on him to his advantage that he basically sized him up in a way that sent a clear message. He wouldn’t win, and teldryn felt that maul was more bark than he was bite.

Samael would round up the now silent and visibly ashamed twins telling them that they have to be more careful with these things, these people. That he’s at least happy they were paid clearly. That Revyn almost had a heart attack over them, knowing where they were and what they were doing. Revyn for one was skulking by the door of the Flagon and tried to make sure he was unnoticed.

Revyn for one was a bit less gentle with the boys, feverishly warning them about just what the Guild is and if they ask him they’re much safer with the Brotherhood than they are here. They’d be eaten alive here. And he did not hesitate to remind them that he was speaking from experience and it’s precisely why he hates riften so much.

I need to develop the twins more but the gist of it is they’re big dumbasses who are also my thieves guild guys and are inseparable to the point where they might as well be attached at the hip. They’re also heteropaternal twins, so they have two different biological fathers (aside from Revyn).

#caydeposting #Felvan Releth #Felvos Sero

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talkethtothehandeth · 9 months

Text

I accidentally deleted someone’s ask about how I manage my chronic pain. I’m so sorry, I wasn’t ignoring you. Since someone took the time to ask me, maybe they’ll see this again

Drugs, anon.

I use drugs/hj

I take very warm/hot baths, heat helps expand blood vessels and relieves my stiffness (from my arthritis). I’m glued to my emotional support heating pad, which you can find here in my cripple recommended products/wishlist. Whenever my friend comes to visit me, they know which side of the bed to sit on because my heating pad has already claimed my seat

Next, ice. I have multiple ice packs, and have plenty of “one time” *whispers* I use them more than once, instant ice packs. Which can also be found in the aforementioned link. They help with my inflammation as well. I bought a large ice pack from my old physical therapist’s place, it covers my entire back, and I usually transition from heat to ice depending on the symptoms

I keep my room dark and quiet, which doesn’t always work when my birds are with me. But I am sensitive to extra noise and light because my pain has gone past the point of no return and has turned my body into an over sensitive ball of nerves, quite literally. My room is my space, and unless my nephew and I are playing video games, it stays mostly quiet and very much dark because of black out curtains

I trigger point using a tennis ball to help release my muscles that have atrophied, I stretch when I need to, to the best of my ability during any given day, I mostly lie in bed tbh, that’s the only thing that makes it tolerable most days is rotting

For medicine I take a lot of different things, celecoxib, gabapentin but mmj helps me the most I’ve found— and also pisses off doctors enough for them to just accuse me of using recreational drugs (I don’t, and that doesn’t make me superior, but damn they do not fully believe you after you share that information)

I use topical relief like diclofenac or lidocaine, tiger balm helps immensely but also burns my skin at times. I have a massage gun that I got for like 75% off with the right Amazon coupons

I wear braces when I absolutely need to, which isn’t often bc I’m stubborn but also know how to navigate brace-less bc I’ve been doing this for so long

I have to have distractions, I play video games— fast paced like Warframe and assassins creed, things where it’s from one thing to a next and you’re completely submersed in the game. I forget I’m in pain sometimes when I’m playing, and then the game pauses and I get the quick reminder

I used to do music therapy, but I’ve been in too much pain to pick it back up again, so much that I ugly cried after playing the piano for the first time in months. I draw on my bent second hand iPad (that person must have just planted their cheeks on it bc HOW does it bend like that?) because it gives me the most control with my hand than paper and pencil does

I am so thankful that I have access to two mobility aids, which I wouldn’t have had access to if it weren’t for my friend who paid for the whole chair, it was one from Amazon like $100, and someone cared about me enough to do to understand my pain and wanted to help me through it, and I cannot ever express how grateful I am. I recognize that having a walker and wheelchair are very much a privilege, but my wheelchair hurts me because it isn’t custom made

My fiancée helps a lot, they bring me medicine or do things for me that I can’t, my long distance best friend is about the same level of disabled as I am because they just hAD TO COPY ME/j and when they come over we just rot, watch shows and coexist in the same space because they get it, and I feel so comfortable with them because I know there isn’t judgement, I feel comfortable with my other friends for this same reason, but sometimes my anxiety still runs rampant banging a wooden spoon on pots and pans

Having a support system really does help, it really does, and I literally only have one physically abled “irl” friend who I love so very much because they take the time to understand and they accept me as me, not “despite” my disability

And there are support groups online, there are people who aren’t assholes and who do not play Sick Olympics ™️ and I promise you there are people who you will find to be such amazing friends through your pain and who won’t leave you, I promise it is possible

And I get myself treats when I can. Like a smoothie from the café I like going to, it’s like a reward

I’ve been doing a lot better mentally, though when my pain comes around in a flare, it feels permanent, and that makes everything just a bit lot worse. I still have a very high baseline of pain, this won’t go away and I’m not sure if I’ll ever return to where I was back when I was 15, before It Truly hit.

Pain might be forever, so the best thing we can do is manage it, and if that feels helpless right now then that is how it feels and you shouldn’t force yourself out of it, imo. It’s okay to sit with the Bad thoughts and feelings even though it’s the worst ever, but I think it’s healthier than “find the good!”

Bestie, my joints dislocating enough to leave me with permanent degeneration is not good, I won’t find the good in that unless my joints aren’t swollen to the point where they make me immobile, I’ll find the good when I have relief. But when I’m flaring up? Let me have my pity party and let me be a bitter cripple. I’ve been in pain forever, and I managed to stay alive every single time I considered or tried to make that not happen. But I’m not some sort of inspiration, I’m just someone whose body broke them enough to the point where I saw no return. And maybe there won’t be, but when you find the right pain management (which, unfortunately, will be the burden you mostly have to carry) you will feel better, maybe not Better, but better.

You’ve got this, we’ve got this.

TL;DR: I manage my pain with lots of drugs, coping skills, art, a support system, and plenty of outside help from mobility aids to literal tennis balls to help, *bear grylls voice* improvise, adapt, overcome

#personal #asks #anon #I do other things but I can’t think of them rn #cripple punk #disabled #chronic pain #chronic illness #arthritis #scoliosis #ehlers danlos syndrome #chronically ill #long post

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apex-academy · 1 year

Text

Chapter 6: The Decay of Our Lives (#6)

The rest of the day is basic survival activities and a look around campus to check for any newly opened doors. Not hard to do quickly when the locked ones have enough wood nailed across them to start a good bonfire.

Can’t decide if this is better or worse. There could be useful things in those rooms, or at least something new to focus on, but...

...It’s also a break in the routine. The young master can’t keep opening up a new floor after every murder when there are only so many floors, but they could have at least unlocked one of these, right? Opening doors one by one would see us through a couple more rounds. And by then there wouldn’t be enough people left to keep the game going.

So it has to end eventually. Does keeping those doors locked mean the time is near? Or is there just too much of a threat to the young master behind them?

“Be great to be hopeful, but...”

Any which way, this can’t go on much longer.

I wrap up by heading to the main hall, just in case the front door is miraculously unlocked and we simply hadn’t checked, but I hear sloshing before I turn the corner.

“Hmm?”

I don’t smell blood—though there’s some smell I can’t identify immediately—so I slowly poke my head out from the other side of the wall. Ahead, at the mountainous mural that first greeted us here...

With something a little too low to be called a shriek, Kanagi slams a gush of black paint into the wall. It’s too thick to spread far, but it still reaches out to block a swath of actual painting with its spidery, globby fingers.

Her only companion at the moment scoffs.

“You call THAT ‘destruction’? PATHETIC!”

With a near-matching jug in his own grasp—can he even lift that with his toothpick arms?—Ichiriki flings a thinner layer of white paint across the wall like a fast-moving, dripping cloud.

“Yeaaaahhhhh!!”

“Dare I ask.”

Despite what is apparently just the beginning of the chaos, Ichiriki manages to notice me.

“Oh GREAT, one of the STICKS-in-the-mud.”

“Thanks.”

“Oh, Kakumi!”

“You wanna come, like, distaste some property or whatever?”

“I TOLD you, we ONLY have the two of these, imbecile!”

“There’s, like, this thing called ‘taking turns’?”

“That is paint, isn’t it? Did you get back into the Art Room somehow?”

“Of COURSE we didn’t. These are from MY study hall, thank you very much.”

“But that isn’t chalk...” Yeah, genius observation. Good job.

“WHAT, you’ve never heard of PRIMING a canvas? UN-believable!”

No response would satisfy him, anyway, so I don’t bother. Apparently he doesn’t always draw straight onto the pavement? Not that I remotely care.

“Exactly what are you trying to make with two colors, anyway?”

“Yo, there’s plenty you can do with two colors! Penguins, and soccer balls, and boxer dogs, and those, like...”

“...”

“...capyzebra dudes!”

“Ca...”

“That CLEARLY wasn’t even the QUESTION, you toad.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“You here to complain ‘r wreck some crap?”

“YES!”

They turn back to the mural—or what’s left of it—to resume slinging paint. I back up before any spatter can get me. Or, well, I think some already got me, but black won’t show on this dress.

I’m not sure at this point who’s trying to create or destroy or whatever combination of the two, but that’s art for you, I guess. May the old mural rest in pieces.

Wonder how much Apex Academy paid for that. Maybe a student did it instead? Though with the students in this place, that’d only make it worth more. Well, no telling now.

“Yo, you want a shot at it, dude?” She offers me her half-empty jug.

“Think I’m good... Didn’t exactly bring a good smock with me.”

“Boooo.”

“Oh, the COWARD can do whatever she WANTS!”

“But I am SICK and TIRED of this thing! GOOD! RIDDANCE!”

And there’s nothing left for me to do but stand and watch from a safe distance. The paint smell grows and stark spatters cross and drip and splash back, swallowing up piece by piece the first thing I ever saw inside this building.

“.........”

Good riddance, huh? I’d rather get out of the building than get rid of it, but... Can’t say it’s unsatisfying to watch.

On that note, I drift back to check the door, but...

...Same as always.

“...”

Not like I had high hopes, anyway.

Though speaking of high, I might need to head out before the paint fumes get any worse.

Just as I turn around...

“Wh-what’s going on here...?!”

Monochap rounds the corner in a hurry.

“What’s going on is THIS!”

She spins on her foot, paint container braced in both hands like she’s ready to launch it at him.

Uh, she isn’t, right?

“Eep!”

She slings the paint out, and I swear I see the liquid reaching its little fingers out towards him in slow motion. Is this enough to count as attacking him? I can’t see it doing real damage, but maybe all it takes is upsetting him with a big stain on his dress?

“Ka—!”

But slow motion or no, there’s nothing I can try to throw between them. Can’t sprint there in time, either. All I can do is watch...

...as Kanagi turns just enough for the paint not to hit, instead skirting past Monochap’s headwear to splash onto the floor.

“......”

What she lacks in self-control she makes up for with motor control, I guess.

“Wh-what was that for...?!”

“Just for fun, dude!”

Not fun for me! “P... Please don’t try that again.”

“Seriously! What a WASTE! I DON’T have more of these, REMEMBER?”

“Oh, like there’s anything wrong with splatting the floor instead. It’s, like, same diff.”

Ichiriki rolls his eyes hard enough to pull something and turns back to the wall. Monochap, meanwhile, shifts from foot to foot near the floor splatter like he’s spotted a mouse and doesn’t know which way he wants to run from it.

“Were you just making the rounds, or is there a problem?”

“They haven’t hit any cameras, for the record.”

“Oh, um...”

“It just seemed like something fun was happening, ehe...”

“I, um, never get invited to these things, s-so...”

“Yeah, there’s totally a reason for that, dude.”

“B-but! You’re using my colors and everything...!”

“Black and white don’t BELONG to you! You WORTHLESS heap of dainty FREAK!”

“W-wah...”

“Please leave before he can rant about it more.”

“Um, I guess... Okay...”

He looks from us to the wall, then slumps and scuttles away.

“All right, back to business.”

“Uhhh, I’m outta paint. Ich?”

“GET your OWN!”

“Like, yeah, that’s what I’m trying to do?”

I’ve seen enough squabbling for one day, so I leave them to it. Let’s go back to my room instead, where I’ll be able to breathe.

I reach for the handle.

“I’m still shaking a little...”

“......”

Even if we’re closer to the end, we’re still not safe. Even if no more of us turn against each other, we still have to worry about him. And after our last attempts to fight back, and all the punishments he’s dealt...

...That’s quite a lot to worry about.

But I won’t get much sleep if I focus on that. Best to unwind as much as I can tonight. We can go back to saving the world or whatever tomorrow.

Hopefully.

[BACK] [NEXT]

#apexplot #apex6 #fangan

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foreveralwaysanauthor · 1 year

Text

Scattered Screams (Part 4/12)

January 13, 2023

Notes - It might take a little while for the next part to come out because of how insanely long I made it, but I'm working on part 6 already and so far, so good. It just might take a little longer than anticipated to write after all of the editing I had to do for part 5 haha.

Believe me when I say that these actions will have consequences.

Once the excitement of the parade has worn off a bit, Riven and I are shown to our rooms and helped out of our outfits. My prep team helps me unlace the outer shell of my dress and take care of my makeup and hair before leaving me and Juliet alone. I hardly feel ready to take off the silky black dress she’s given me, but she doesn’t seem ready to take it back either, which is nice. Juliet sits on the end of my bed and allows me to sit with her as I take in the large, fancy room that I’m supposed to sleep in. The room is large enough that I could split it into three sections, one for me and one for each of my siblings, and still have enough room to not feel cramped in the slightest.

Juliet’s hand on my arm draws me back to whatever conversation she wants to have. Realizing she’s gained my attention, Juliet smiles and says, “I’ve heard through the grapevine that you two have enough potential sponsors that you could buy an apartment in one of the upscale parts of the city.”

“Really?” I ask. “How is that even possible?”

Juliet shrugs, “Your mentors are amazing people. I guess it helps that I was hyping you up to everyone who’s anyone.”

The idea that anyone would want to give up good money for us is astonishing. There must be some super-rich people wanting the two of us to win this year. We did make quite the appearance thanks to Juliet and the stylist in charge of Riven’s outfits. They made us look good and were helping us get sponsors already. “How did you know who to talk to?”

Her head tilts slightly, a confused look crossing her face as she smirks and slowly says, “I’m the president’s daughter. I was raised to know who’s who.”

This is news to me. It probably wouldn’t be if I had paid any attention to any of the president’s holiday messages to Panem, but I never really cared to watch those since it was practically the same message for every celebration. I suppose they looked similar, Juliet and President Harmon. I can’t believe I had no idea that I had been talking to the one person who could possibly know every in and out of the arena. She might even know what the arena will be. Out of all the possible stylists I could’ve been saddled with, I’m definitely glad I got Juliet.

Instead of verbalizing my thought process, I ask, “Does being his daughter give you a good advantage with sponsors?”

Juliet lets out a giggle and excitedly nods, “The citizens of the Capitol have watched me grow up, and, now that I’m older, I know how to charm them faster than any other stylist for the Games.”

A breathy laugh escapes me, “You know, I think I like you even more now than I already did. This could get us really far into the Games.”

Juliet stands from the bed and gives me a dramatic curtsy. “Glad to be of service.” She beams down at me and says, “Now, get changed and explore your room until dinner is ready. Then, we’ll watch the parade and bounce some strategy ideas around for the Games.”

I watch Juliet turn on her heel and strut toward the door of my room, but before she can leave, I ask, “Can I keep the dress?”

Juliet laughs, turning back to me with a nod, “Of course! It was made specifically for you. I couldn’t take it back even if I wanted to.”

Juliet leaves after I thank her and, once I’m alone, I feel almost lost. I lay back against the comforter and allow my feet to dangle over the edge of the bed as I stare up at the high ceilings, wondering how on earth anybody could be comfortable having such a huge space for just one person. This room is too big for just me. I almost wish I had someone to share it with. Mick had probably stayed in this room last year, but I can’t imagine her being okay with it - she preferred simple things and this room was anything but simple.

“Vivien?” Speak of the devil. “Did you fall asleep with your glasses on again? If you did, you’re going to end up with bruises behind your ears again and get all whiny about it and I’m going to laugh at your misery.”

“I’m not sleeping,” I reply quietly. “Just thinking.”

“That’s dangerous,” Mick chuckles. I roll my eyes and smile, almost glad she can’t see it. “What are you thinking about? The parade? Miles’ brother? How epic your entrance was?”

A smirk rises on my face and I shake my head, “Are those my only options?”

Mick hums, “Until I can think of more, yes. Now, come on! Tell me everything, you little gremlin.”

Figuring I have nothing better to do, I sigh, “The parade was exhilarating and terrifying all at once.” Mick laughs softly, but I continue, “I was scared I would fall out, but Riven was like a brick wall and kept me upright.”

“I think I was one of the only people in my parade that didn’t feel like falling out of those things.” That’s no surprise to me. Mick had spent a lot of time around the Capitol growing up, joining her parents on trips the president would invite them on and visiting the sponsors from previous years as a sort of thanks for their donations. She probably spent more time playing on chariots and exploring the city than anybody from the districts ever had before or since.

“I haven’t gotten to watch the parade yet,” I tell her. “How did we look?”

“Indescribable,” she replies, “but if I had to pick just one word, I’d say you two looked almost iridescent. You’ll see for yourself soon enough.” A smile tugs at my lips as I push myself up and off of the bed, but it disappears as Mick asks, “What about the boy from Six - Royce? What do you think of him?”

Why does it feel like everyone is pressuring me to like him? Sure, he’s very friendly and seems like a sweet guy, but the chances of us killing each other in the arena are high. Why make friends with someone who could kill me? “He’s nice,” I say with a shrug as I head toward the bathroom.

“‘Nice?’” Mick repeats curiously. I pull a small chair over by the bathroom sink and sit so Mick can see me in the reflection of the mirror. “Is that it?”

“What else is there?” I ask. “I don’t want to form strong attachments to someone who could kill me.”

“Miles told me that Royce doesn’t plan on killing anyone in the Games.” Of course, he doesn’t. “If you and Riven can team up with him like I did with Miles and Kona, you three could go far in the arena. Besides, we could work on a strategy that incorporates all three of you. That way, getting you guys out of the arena would be easier.”

I roll my eyes. “Don’t tell me you want to go all hopeless romantic on me and have me fall in love with Royce or something.”

“I hadn’t thought of that,” Mick says. She hums thoughtfully as I feel tempted to begin bashing my head against the marble countertop in front of me. To my dismay, she cheerfully decides, “That could work! You two could act like you fell for each other in training or something, get all cute and mysterious in the interviews, and be super close in the arena.”

“You do realize I would still have to talk to Royce about this, right?”

“I’ll talk to Miles and see what he thinks.” I hear a few clicks and some papers rustling from Mick’s end of the conversation and I can almost imagine her going through everything on her desk, trying to find the right frequency to talk with Miles and scribbling her ideas out on paper so she doesn’t forget them. “If he thinks it’s a good idea, I’ll let you know and you can think about how to bring it up to Royce and my parents. They’ll come up with something.”

Even though I nod and allow Mick to continue rambling, my mind is racing. My life could depend on some fake relationship with someone who only met me today. Granted, I had talked to him in the past and it felt like we had bonded quite a bit. Maybe Royce wouldn’t mind since his life was on the line too. He seems fairly easy-going and he’ll probably have a lot of sponsors due to his looks alone. If we team up, our chances of getting good gifts and making it far in the Games are high. Maybe he wouldn’t mind a fake relationship. I mean, as long as we don’t have to go too far with everything, it should be okay, right?

I know I’m overthinking things. Even if we do have to fake a relationship, it’s not like any of it is real. He doesn’t have to like me and I don’t have to like him, we just have to act like we do. It should be easy for me; Royce is pretty good-looking and we’ve gotten along well in the past. Pretending to like him as anything more than a friend should be easy, but deep down, I hope everyone decides to abandon this idea. I don’t want my first relationship to be something made up for others’ entertainment.

“What if it happens naturally?” I find myself asking, interrupting Mick’s rambling about something I hadn’t even been paying attention to.

Mick’s voice is hesitant, “I don’t think the Capitol would overlook a hovercraft coming into the arena in the middle of the Games, Viv.”

“What?” I think for a moment before realizing she thought I was adding to her ideas. I hadn’t even been listening to her. “No, not that. I mean the whole ‘fake relationship’ thing.”

“Oh, well, if it happens on its own, that’s even better. Just another reason for the Capitol to genuinely like you two and want you both to win.” Mick pauses and sighs, “As I said, though, if Miles or Royce don’t want to go along with it, we can’t force it. Either way, we’ll find a way to get you out of the arena.”

Mick goes on for a while about her ideas for an escape plan and some alternative strategies for me to think about, but eventually, she tells me to take a shower and wash the glitter off my body while she talks with Miles. I leave my glasses on the counter, facing the wall, while I shower, but I don’t take the time to enjoy the heat and all of the extra features the Capitol showers possess. Once I step on the mat outside the shower, I’m blow-dried by a series of heaters, and my hair is instantly dried by a small box I rest my hand on. It sends a current through my hair that dries, parts, and untangles every strand, leaving me with a silky curtain of hair that flows effortlessly around my shoulders and down my spine.

The closet in my room is insane - I select some style options from a menu and it programs a series of outfits for me to choose from. Most of them contain something lavender which is certainly not a problem to me and, thankfully, they all have pants. Well, all but one. One is a dress that could probably end around my calves, but it’s not all frills and bows, which is nice. If given the chance, I might actually wear it.

I pull my glasses on once I find something comfortable to wear and, after some contemplation, I leave my room in search of everyone else. Riven is just coming out of his room when I step into the hallway and he smiles my way as I join him. He looks happy to be glitter-free and his auburn hair is fluffier than I had ever seen it before. “Ready to eat, Pip?”

“Until I can’t move,” I reply with a grin.

He lightly nudges me with a laugh, “Don’t go too crazy, half-pint. We still need to explore that roof Mick’s parents told us about.”

The roof of the Training Center was something Mick had told me a lot about over time. The roof had a garden, some areas to sit and observe the city, and was encased with a force field to keep tributes from killing themselves. She told me that the view from up there was amazing if you could stand the heights and it was a great place to talk without anyone being able to listen in. We could talk with any potential allies and not be overheard or I could go up there for some peace and quiet. Either way, it would be a nice getaway.

I let Riven lead me to the dining room where Mick’s parents are already sitting and talking. We sit across from them and wait for our stylists and escort to come. Riven tells us about how his stylist, Topaz, had to help the prep team lace up the back of his outfit because they kept getting the strings tangled. When asked about my team, I tell them about how interested they all seemed to be in me and how I felt about getting reaped again. When I bring up how they mentioned the Games being barbaric, Mrs. Birch nods as though she expected me to say something along those lines.

“Rumor has it a lot of people are beginning to get bored of the Games,” she tells us. “It doesn’t surprise me that the prep teams and stylists are feeling the same.”

Mr. Birch is quick to confirm, “In recent years, there have been some people complaining that they’re sick of losing their money and want to see something new and exciting.”

Riven and I share a look, but don’t say anything more as Halo’s voice screeches from the hallway, “I think I lost the tributes!”

“What?” Mr. Birch asks as Riven and I giggle like two imbeciles.

Halo’s clomping shoes echo through the apartment as she says, “They aren’t in their rooms, and I-” Halo stops herself as she looks around the dining table, her panic dissipating as she finds me and Riven laughing at her expense. “Oh… Never mind, I found them.” She quickly excuses herself under the guise of finding our stylists, but even if it weren’t for the bright red shining through her pasty-white makeup, I could tell she was only saying that to avoid further embarrassment. Juliet and Topaz were standing on the balcony, chatting, in full view of the dining table. I don’t think they need Halo to go find them.

Mrs. Birch sighs and shakes her head before looking at me and asking if I could bring our stylists inside. Once everyone is inside and Halo comes back looking like she had pulled herself together, a bunch of people in white tunics come into the room and deliver the domed trays of food. They’re all silent as they bring food and drinks to our table, but despite everyone telling us we don't have to, Riven and I can’t bring ourselves to not thank them for bringing things to us. The food is filling to the point of discomfort and, with every forkful, my statement to Riven about eating until I can’t move feels like more of a promise than an empty threat. However, after a while of talking and slowly picking my way through the bowls of ice cream that have been brought to the table for dessert, I feel well enough to pry myself away from the table and over to the sitting room. We sit on a long, plush couch and watch the replay of the opening ceremonies.

District 1, as always, earns the loudest screams since they’re the first ones to appear. Both of the tributes are named after precious stones - Onyx Cutter and Jade Ashton. The male tribute looks every bit like the arrogant asshole I would expect from their district. The girl, Jade, was the one that I had nodded to before the parade and she genuinely looks like the perfect representation of the luxurious district - beautiful, graceful, and refined. She had probably been trained her whole life to be that way, but with her emerald hair fluttering in the wind and a gentle smile present the whole parade, none of the crowd nor commentators seemed to care.

District 2’s Granite and Ashlar make a questionable appearance in what looks like sheets of marble held together at the sides with strings. Anytime their chariot hits a bump, both tributes instinctively try to hold their outfits in place so they don’t show anything too personal for the whole country to see. Even some of the people from our team comment that they look uncomfortable, but the only thing we can do is wait patiently for District 2 to be off the screen.

Our appearance draws attention, as Riven and I knew it did, but I didn’t know just how much. Mick’s use of the word ‘iridescent’ is far more accurate than I thought it would be. We look like something out of the fairytale books my mom would read to me before bed when I was little. Riven was right, all eyes were on us tonight. I bet everyone back home was surprised to see us take everyone’s attention like that. The cameras don’t dare move until they have no choice to, but even I can tell everyone wishes it had lasted longer.

District 4 has a male tribute who looks practically green and a redheaded girl around my age who looks both fed up with her fellow tribute and disgusted at the barely-there fishnets and seaweed outfit she’s been laced into. The commentators tell us the boy’s name is Weddell and chatter about how he was rumored to be a drunken fisherman back home, but it’s the girl, Serena Sullivan, that helps keep their attention off of the nauseated Weddell. She’s a great cover for his tragic appearance. Her red hair looks like waves of fire whipping behind her and Riven’s stylist, Topaz, mentions how she almost looks like a famous mermaid.

The cameras are quick to focus on District 5, but both tributes look far too cocky for anybody’s tastes. The shoulder pads of their outfits let out sparks and are pretty impressive, but it’s not enough to cover their bad attitudes. Even the people of the Capitol don’t look too amused with the smug, superior looks that the tributes make. Their outfits may be amazing, but their behavior gives them more negative reviews than anything. Even though it earns him a stern comment from his wife, Mr. Birch speaks our minds when he ever-so-eloquently says, “You can polish a turd, but it's still a piece of shit.”

When the cameras pan over to District 6, the commentators immediately ramble about the stylist, Coral, and her perfect representation of the district she’s been assigned. I’m not really sure how sleek white outfits with red, yellow, and green LEDs running throughout are a “perfect representation” of the transportation district, but if they think it is, I won’t argue. The only thing I see that represents it well is how the lights on the back of Royce’s shirt form a glowing D6 that is impossible to miss. From what I can see, Royce’s earbuds are gone, but a smile is present on his face all the same. His curls bounce with the wind, but instead of whipping wildly like my ponytail had, his hair looks graceful and majestic, like something out of a movie. Royce’s stylist certainly knows what they are doing, playing up his appearance for everyone. Granted, he looks just as good off-camera, but still, they certainly did a great job with him. His fellow tribute, Lotus, on the other hand, looks bored throughout the whole thing and doesn’t get nearly as much attention from the commentators.

The next district, 7, has two tributes dressed as trees, but neither of them looks happy about it. The girl, Lexi, looks ready to take an ax and chop her way out of the outfit, but she manages to plaster an obviously forced smile on her face throughout the whole ride through the city. Her teammate, the first of three twelve-year-olds, tries to wave to everyone and hold his head high, but I can see the discomfort on his face.

Most of the other districts are saddled with horrendous outfits that don’t properly represent them, but District 11 is actually dressed pretty well. The tributes are in shiny overalls and plaid shirts that are supposed to make you think of agricultural workers, but all I think of is how comfortable their clothes must have been. Everyone else looks uncomfortable or irritated by their costumes, but they look so at ease that I have to guess their clothes don’t bother them in the slightest. The girl, Erica, has the ends of her blonde hair dyed blue to match the overalls, which she looks pleased about. The boy, on the other hand, doesn’t seem too thrilled with his blue-tipped curls as he has to keep pushing them away from his face, but his smile is still present through the entirety of the ride.

Once the parade is over, Mr. Birch tells us to get some sleep and to meet them in the living room in the morning so they can give us their ideas for how we need to play our strategies. Riven and I force ourselves off the exceedingly comfortable couch and drag ourselves down the hall, but he grabs my arm before I can go to my room. He nods to the far end of the hallway and whispers, “Are you going to go up and check things out?”

“I was going to grab a sweater first,” I reply. “Are you going up now?”

Riven shakes his head and chuckles, “I’m going to get into something warmer, and then I’ll be up. There’s too much wind up there for me to be wearing shorts.”

I have to agree. His shorts and tank top are probably very comfortable to relax or sleep in, but are probably not the best for the windy rooftop. Riven tells me to have fun and that he’ll see me in a bit before ducking into his room and closing the door. With a shrug, I head into my room and grab a sweater from the closet before making my way up to the roof. Just as Mick had described to me any time I asked about it, the rooftop has a small, dome-shaped room that has a door to the outside. The glass dome is beautiful with little metal designs curving around the outside and, in the center is a single chandelier providing light to the little room. Leaving the room, I’m met with cool air and a light breeze. The summer air is long gone this high into the city skyline, but the breeze isn’t cold enough to sway me from exploring the roof. The Capitol twinkles like the stars in the sky and flickering lights shine throughout the city as they celebrate the opening of yet another Hunger Games.

District 3 is nowhere near as busy as the Capitol. From just outside the dome, I can hear cars on the streets, the occasional tune of a song, and an occasional metallic tinkling. I walk over to a metal railing at the edge of the roof and look over the edge at the city below. Mick had told me that, on the first night of being here, she looked over the edge and nearly passed out because it was so high, but I don’t see any issue with it. Our lab is on a floor that’s high up, but Mick’s desk is near the middle of the floor and my desk is by a window, so I guess it doesn’t bother me as much as it would her. As I look down at the city glowing below me, I wonder if Mick has passed out just by watching through my glasses. She’s been so silent since I began heading to the rooftop that I decide she’s either fainted or she’s just listening and has turned the camera off because she knows how high the view is from up here. It would’ve been nice to have someone to talk to while I am up here, though.

In the past, Mick has told me about a force field around the rooftop to keep people from trying to kill themselves, but I didn’t think it was true until I saw it. There isn’t much to see at first, but then I notice a faint shimmer just a few feet under where the railing meets the floor. Stretching a hand into the air past the top of the railing, I reach out until I feel a sharp zap sting my hand and I jerk my arm back. The force field was strong, like the currents we use to secure the borders of District 3, but even those could be weakened if you knew what to do. The lights bordering the roof flicker as the force field’s ripple dissipates and it returns to an invisible wall. The force field is most likely electromagnetic - my small touch draws more energy from the rest of the electricity on the rooftop, causing the lights to flicker.

Deciding I have nothing better to do than wait for Riven to show up, I step onto the railing and swing a leg over, sitting on the top rung and making sure I feel secure before swinging the other leg over and perching myself on the edge of one of the tallest buildings in the Capitol. It’s not like I could fall off even if I wanted to. The force field could probably toss me back over the railing if I slip. I guess the Capitol only worries about our safety when we aren’t killing each other off inside the arena.

I have no idea if it makes any sense, but the city feels both a lot larger and a lot smaller from here. It feels large in the sense that I can only see a portion of it and I know there’s a lot more to explore, sections segregated by class and social status that I’ll never get to explore. But it also feels small in the way that I know that the Capitol would fit into District 3 twice. The Capitol may act all high and mighty, but they’re only about as big as the smallest district in Panen, District 12. If the districts had properly rebelled the first time, they could’ve easily overtaken the Capitol and the Hunger Games never would have happened. Instead, the Capitol won the war and now feels like a prison to the people in the district who are unfortunate enough to be reaped.

With a sigh, I try to clear my mind and focus on the beauty of the city that I’ll only ever see for a few days. Mick was right, it is beautiful. I just wish I had more time to see it. As I swing my feet back and forth over the edge of the building, I hear a voice call out, “You shouldn’t be sitting up there.” I glance over my shoulder and find the voice belongs to Royce. He’s slowly approaching the railing with a bowl of assorted berries in hand. He watches me with some kind of curious fear in his eyes. “It’s dangerous.”

“I guess you could say I like living on the edge,” I joke, smiling at my newfound company.

“Aren’t you scared?” he asks as he approaches the railing. “You could fall and hurt yourself.”

"I'll jump if you do," I offer, but the almost fearful look in his eyes forces me to quickly insist that I'm joking before asking him to come closer. Once he’s close enough, I take a blueberry from his bowl and toss it toward the force field. The lights on the floor flicker as the shield ricochets the berry back toward me. I catch it in my mouth before turning to Royce with a grin. “See? Nothing to be scared about. There’s a force field that will keep people from jumping or falling to their deaths.”

Royce’s eyes glimmer in wonder and a smile appears on his face as he glances toward the invisible force field. He pulls a blueberry from his bowl and tosses it at the shield, catching it in his mouth the way I had just a moment before. Royce laughs, “That’s kind of fun!”

“I know, right?” I pat the bar next to me and offer for him to fill the space.

He quickly hands me the bowl of berries and climbs into the spot beside me with a grin. “How did you find out about the force field?”

I hand him the bowl again and shrug as I say, “It’s easy to see.”

As he looks out over the city, Royce squints as though that will help him find the clear shield. “I don’t see anything.”

I laugh and pull my glasses off, offering them to him. Royce takes them and pulls them on, his eyes squinting and widening as they struggle to adjust. “Oh, woah,” he says softly.

“Pretty cool, right?”

“I can’t see much of anything with these things,” Royce says as he turns to me and pulls the glasses away from his eyes. “You really do need them, huh?”

“Yeah,” I sigh as I take them back and slide them onto my face. I search the force field for a moment before pointing toward the bottom where the city lights weren’t obscuring the distorted glass look of the force field. “Look there,” I tell Royce. His gaze follows my finger to the wobbly lines created by the force field. “See that rippling effect?”

Royce nods, “Is that the shield thing?”

I hum, giving him a smile as I say, “It’s electromagnetic and, if I were to guess, I’d say it’s strong enough to throw someone back onto the roof if they tried to jump.”

“Is it that obvious?” Royce asks as he turns back to me.

I snicker, “They might as well have a sign. The lights on the floor flicker every once in a while, but more so when something touches the force field. Why?”

Royce thinks for a moment, his eyes scanning over the invisible shield before finding mine. “The force field is draining power from everything else in an effort to keep us from falling off the roof.”

“Bingo.”

I take a handful of berries from his bowl and begin tossing them against the barrier and catching them in my mouth. Royce soon follows my lead and we go through the whole bowl of berries while laughing and talking about our families and our connections to our mentors. We spend what feels like forever just talking and laughing on the edge of the building. He brings up his younger brother, Bentley, and I tell him about the twins. We bond over a shared interest in books and history. It feels as though I’ve known him forever despite having only talked to him a handful of times over the radio at Mick’s house and only meeting him in person earlier in the day.

We stay out on the roof until a young blonde girl comes out of the dome room with a huff, “There you are!”

Royce and I turn to the young girl and Royce breathes out a soft, “Shit.”

“You know her?” I ask in a whisper.

Royce nods as he swings himself back over the railing. “Hey, Kona. What’s up?” Oh, so the girl was his new mentor. She was last year’s victor at only twelve years old. This year will be her first one as a mentor for her district. During her Victory Tour, she stayed at Mick’s house. She seemed genuine in her statements to our district, commenting on the death of the boy she hardly knew of, but telling us all just how much she cared about Mick and how glad she was to have known her in the time they had gotten to spend together. I bet we would’ve been friends if given the chance.

“‘What’s up?’” she repeats, planting her hands on her hips. “You took off without telling Butchy and I’ve had to deal with him and Carrie being all stupid. I thought that, because of Miles, they would’ve gotten past all the arguments and stuff, but they’re acting like a couple of five-year-olds fighting over a shiny new toy.” It takes Kona a moment to realize she and Royce aren’t alone, but once her pale green eyes find mine, she smiles. “Oh, hello.”

“Hi,” I greet in return. “I’m Vivien.”

“Oh, I know,” she says, glancing at Royce before approaching me and holding out a hand for me to shake. Her hands are cold but steady, and her all-knowing smirk is unwavering as she says, “Royce has told me a lot about you.”

Royce quickly looks away and shakes his head while Kona simply smirks my way. I have to wonder what on earth he said to her. Sadly, the only things I know about the thirteen-year-old are that she knows about Mick and Miles being alive and that Mick says she’s a sneaky little shit. The glint in Kona’s eyes and her shit-eating grin told me that her days of being a mischievous little sneak were far from over. “I’ve heard a bit about you as well,” I tell her as I make my way back over the railing. “All good, of course.”

Kona puffs up proudly, her smile broadening. “Well, good. You know, I was hoping I would run into you eventually, but I didn’t think it would be this soon.”

“Really?” I ask, pulling my hair into a ponytail so the wind couldn’t whip it into knots. “What did you want to talk about?”

Her smile turns almost mischievous as she says, “Well, ever since we watched the reaping, Royce has talked about you a lot and mentions how pretty y-”

Royce’s hand is over Kona’s mouth before she can finish her sentence and he glares at her, muttering something under his breath before turning to me with a nervous smile, softly laughing as he says, “Ignore her, she’s got a few screws loose.”

Kona glares up at Royce before elbowing him in the stomach and prying his hand from her mouth. “Butchy and I think it would be great if you and Royce would team up for the Games. Our districts are close friends and, with both of you being reaped two years in a row, it would be useful to get a lot of sympathy from the Capitol citizens.”

It seems as though our mentors have similar trains of thought. With how many sponsors we’ll likely have, we could get a lot of gifts and have better access to things the other tributes might not. I only have one question for Kona before I agree in any way. “What about Riven?”

“Riven?” Royce asks.

I nod. “My teammate. We’ve known each other for years and we’re a package deal in this. He’s the only person I fully trust going into this.”

Kona seems to think it over, but asks, “Is he your boyfriend or something?”

I don’t bother masking the disgusted noise that comes as I quickly shake my head, “Gross, no! He’s like my brother.”

The thirteen-year-old laughs, “Oh good! Well, in that case, I don’t think we’ll have a problem with that. I’ll talk it over with Butchy and, when you guys are in training tomorrow, we’ll talk it over with your mentors and see if we can come to an agreement.”

Is it really as simple as that? If it is, Riven and I could have another person helping us out in the arena by the end of tomorrow. Kona’s smile seems welcoming and promising, as though she’s genuinely hoping I’ll accept their offer. Royce, on the other hand, looks hopeful, but nervous. Nervous about what, I’m not too sure, but the hope in his eyes makes me want to help in any way that I can. With a smile, I say, “Sounds good to me.”

In the morning, I wait outside Riven’s room so I can question him as to why he never went up to the roof. By the time I got back downstairs, he was nowhere to be seen. He tells me that Halo saw him in the hallway and kept him so occupied with talking about training that he eventually gave up wanting to go anywhere and just resigned to his fate. I tell him about meeting Royce and Kona on the roof and he agrees that it would be good to have them on our side, but tells me that we should tell Mack and Brady about it. I, of course, agree and, once we get to the dining room, I tell them. They both seem proud of me for stepping up and choosing a partner already, so I don’t dare tell them about it being Kona’s idea before they get around to explaining the tactics they want us to work with.

I couldn’t have asked for better mentors. They both dominated their respective Hunger Games and came out to be wonderful people. Mack’s arena was a volcanic island surrounded by high mountains and she made it out fairly unscathed, but severely malnourished. She had fought for her right to live over the seventeen days she was in the arena, using lava as a weapon and shoving a few people into the volcano during a fight against the Careers, earning her the nickname of Lava Goddess. She tells a different story, of course, but her husband is always quick to retell the story with very few embellishments.

Speaking of her husband, Brady was a victor who claimed he didn’t deserve to be. I think the reason he loved telling Mack’s story, regardless of how fictitious he made it sound, was because he found it to be more heroic than his own. His arena was an amusement park and he hardly fought anyone. Brady took a bag from the cornucopia and ran, hiding in one of the Ferris Wheel cabins while everyone else was busy killing each other in mirror mazes and tilt-a-whirls. He only came out when necessary and, on the twenty-second day in the arena, the Ferris Wheel stalled and he was forced to fight in a high-altitude battle against the girl from District 5. In the end, he managed to kick the girl off of the top of the Wheel and secure his victory by clinging to the broken window of the cabin he had been hiding in for almost a month.

They’re incredible people and amazing mentors, so I don’t doubt that Riven and I will do well under them. Mrs. Birch tells me to not care much about hand-to-hand combat or archery since I’ve trained with Mick in my free time, but to work hard on everything else because chances are, the Gamemakers will probably jack up my score to keep me as a threat in the minds of the other tributes so I might as well make it hard for them to kill me. Mr. Birch tells us that our best bet is to lay low if we can and kill other tributes off from a distance because if they can’t see us, they can’t kill us. Their advice to Riven is basically telling him to show off and aim for high scores, something he already planned on doing. They say to focus on our friendships with Royce and any other potential help before sending us to get changed. Our outfits for training will be the same every day - skin-tight, navy blue pants with white highlights, sneakers, and loose t-shirts. It’s not the best-looking outfit I could’ve worn, but I’m not about to argue about fashion when it’s comfortable.

The ride to the training rooms is ironically silent with Halo barely saying a word to us. Training takes place underneath the enormous Training Center in something District 3 calls a sub-basement or, essentially, the basement’s basement. It takes us less than a minute to reach the training rooms, but Halo takes a while to leave us, babbling nonsense so fast that neither Riven nor I can decipher before stumbling back toward the elevator. Once we shake off our confusion and turn back toward the training room, we realize just how massive it is. Every year, before the Hunger Games start, the Capitol broadcasts a view of where the tributes are staying and how they’ll spend their time as a way for the citizens to feel like they’re right with the tributes, but the pictures of the training rooms don’t do it any justice.

The enormous gymnasium looks about the size of the football field at my school back home. Our school had once been the stadium for a Chicago football team, but after it was refurbished into a school for the district, we only used the field for sports and gym classes. We used to be forced to run laps on the track around the whole field as punishment for doing things wrong. Due to the size of the training room and all of the stations they expect us to use during our limited training sessions, I’m almost sure I’m going to hate it here for the next few days.

Most of the districts I assumed would be there, are, but almost none of them look pleased to be up this early. Four of the six Careers loom to one side like a litter of rabid kittens ready to pounce on anyone who dares come near. The only two who dare to roam the room are the girls from 1 and 4. The girl from 1 stands out with her dark green hair as she walks around, examining the weapons and any potential allies with a blank expression. Alternatively, the girl from 4 stays in one spot - right up Royce’s ass. Royce looks none too pleased with this as he stares back at me in a cry for help, but I’m forced to only smirk his way as Riven and I are stopped and receive cloth squares with our names and district number on them in an ocean blue font. One cloth is attached just under our collarbones and the other to our backs before we are free to go mingle with the other tributes.

My first target of the day is to rescue Royce from the redhead from 4 and Riven follows me like the guard dog he is. The girl’s name is Serena if her cloth tag is anything to go by and she scoffs when I tell her to leave Royce alone because he obviously has no interest in her. “What are you?” she snaps. “His keeper? You don’t even know each other.”

Without allowing me to answer, Riven moves to stand behind me, lowers his voice, and bellows, “She told you to leave him alone. I suggest you do so before you find yourself moved whether you like it or not.”

Serena stares at Riven with a look of confidence that I can see wavering. I know Riven looks intimidating if you don’t know him well enough. I was terrified of him when I first met him, but now that I know he’s a giant teddy bear on the inside, all fear of him is long gone. His towering height, rigid stance, and the way he glares through his eyebrows is enough to scare off the girl who scoffs, “You’re not even worth my time,” and stalks off with her tail between her legs.

As soon as the girl is far enough away, I take her place in the circle that’s begun to form and Riven slides into the spot beside me while Royce lets out a sigh of relief. “Thank you,” he breathes, sending me a small smile as the redhead finds a spot across the circle from us and glares while we wait for training to begin.

“Anytime,” I reply with a grin. “Has she been bothering you for long?”

Royce nodded, “Since we got here. It felt like forever.”

I don’t bother to cover my snort of laughter, “Sounds like fun.”

“Far from it,” he replies with a shake of his head. After a moment, he peers up at Riven and breathes a thank you to him before extending a hand out to him and saying, "I know we talked a little before, but Vivien and I talked a bit last night and I was hoping you might be willing to have some sort of alliance for the Games.”

“Pip told me quite a bit about your conversation this morning,” Riven gives in return. As I send him the dirtiest look I can muster, he latches onto the outstretched hand with a small grin, shaking Royce’s hand as he says, “I would be glad to make an alliance with you, especially so early in the game.”

Royce nods, but as he’s about to answer, the large clock on the wall chimes, telling us all that it’s ten o’clock. As soon as any stragglers join the circle, the lead trainer, a woman named Metis steps forward, introducing herself as she moves into the middle of the circle. She explains the different stations to us in a droning tone that I believe is due to the monotony of doing the same speech every year. I take a special interest in archery, of course, but I know Riven will want to stick to the more heavy-duty tasks like weightlifting to keep his reputation up. Royce doesn’t outwardly show an interest in anything, which is probably a good tactic until he can get a feel for things.

While Metis drones on about safety instructions, I look around at the competition. The green-haired girl from District 1 looks bored, but not nearly as bored as her teammate, Onyx. From what I remember from the reaping, she’s younger than him by a year but outdoes him by a few inches and loads of muscle. District 2’s Granite and Ashlar are both named after rocks and, by the faraway looks in their eyes, I think that’s pretty much all that must reside inside their heads. It’s a fight to contain my laughter when I think of the two of them rattling like baby toys when they shake their heads, but I manage well enough.

District 4 has one contestant who might just want my head on a silver platter and I smile sweetly at her when she catches my eye again, throwing her off enough that she makes a face like she just bit into a lemon as she whips her attention back to Metis. Volt and Elektra from 5 are paying the least amount of attention to the conversation, both looking ready to get the meeting over with and get around to using some of the weapons on the walls. The next person to meet my gaze happens to come from the golden brown eyes of the girl from District 7, Lexi Warren. Her smirk is proudly on display for all to see, almost as though she approves of my way of handling the redhead from 4. She looks me up and down the same way I do to her and we seem to come to an agreement of sorts as she nods to me. I may have just unintentionally made another ally, but as she turns back to Metis and her face returns to the stoic stare it was before, I find myself questioning it.

Districts 8 - Lanon and Jeyveera - are around the same height, but it’s obvious to me that at least one of them has probably had to take out tessera. They’re both built like twigs, but Jeyveera has a gleam behind her glasses that tells me she won’t go down without a fight. Kamut and Jasmine from 9 are polar opposites - one tall and muscular and the other tiny and breakable. The tributes from 10 appear as though they’ve just come to the realization that they’re being sentenced to death by the Capitol, but the same cannot be said for the girl from 11. Erica, as her nametag states, is the definition of “if looks could kill” and her glare is firmly settled on anyone who looks her way, but when she sees me, she stops. At first, I think that maybe it’s because I’m not a threat to her or that I have a reputation that precedes me due to last year’s reaping, but then I see her eyes are focused on a spot behind me and I realize Riven must be deterring her from doing anything more than glancing my way.

I don’t get much of a chance to examine the tributes from 12, but they both look like they’ve resigned to their fate. Their mentor probably hasn’t helped their mental state - everybody knows he’s a drunk who doesn’t give a shit for ninety percent of his tributes. As soon as Metis lets us explore, the two of them head for the fire-starting station which I assume is fitting since they’re from the coal district. Riven takes my arm before I can look around, asking if I want to join him in the sword training station or if Royce and I are going to do something else. When I ask him, Royce tells me that whatever I want to do, he’ll stay with me, so I tell Riven we’ll find something to do while he works on impressing the Gamemakers. The look he gives me makes me want to use my neatly manicured fingernails to claw his eyes out, but I refrain from doing so and roll my eyes as I latch hands with Royce and drag him over to the start of the ropes course.

The ropes expand the entire ceiling of the training room in a web of lines that look as though one wrong fall in the middle of the room could kill you. It doesn’t take much for me to latch onto the ropes and haul myself into the space between the ropes and the ceiling. There isn’t much room, but I can move around well enough. When I turn around, Royce’s shaky arms are pulling him into the ropes with me. I smile as he appears over the edge of the ropes, already looking exhausted.

“You good?” I ask.

He sends me a sarcastic stare as he replies in the snarkiest voice possible, “Peachy.”

I let out a snort, “Well, keep up then.”

I hear Royce huff as he follows me and, as I move, I feel the ropes behind me shifting under his weight. In the middle of the room, the cords holding us from imminent death are far enough from the cameras and microphones that we could probably speak in peace without being overheard, but I don’t feel like risking it as I find a spot to sit and let my legs dangle from separate holes between ropes. Royce is hesitant to follow suit, but eventually settles into the ropes near me with a shaky breath. I don’t get the chance to say something as Royce quietly says, “This is pretty high up.”

I watch him nervously readjust how he’s sitting as I ask, “Are you scared of heights?”

Royce’s curls bounce as he shakes his head, but his eyes flit across the ceiling, avoiding the ground at all costs. “I’m more scared of turning into a pile of mush on the ground.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation,” I begin with a smirk, “they probably have some kind of protective measures in place so that you can’t become a human pancake.”

Royce lets out a chuckle and sighs softly, “Somehow, that was actually reassuring.”

As Royce tries to make himself relax, a soft voice in my ear says, “It’s not very reassuring to me.” I try not to laugh. Mick’s fear of heights must be in overdrive right now. “I’m keeping the cameras off until you two get on the floor again. You’re such a little shit, gremlin.”

“Like you expected any less from me,” I mutter. When Royce tips his head to the side and raises an eyebrow my way, I brush it off with a shake of my head and softly ask him, “Did your mentors give you anything to work on?”

“Not really,” he says with a shrug. “They said the Gamemakers will probably fake my score no matter what I do, so I need to look like I deserve the credit they give me, but other than that, nothing. They said they’ll talk with your mentors while we’re here.”

“Mine said the same,” I tell him with a sigh. “Personally, I’m a little worried about whatever storyline they’ll come up with for us.”

Royce’s confusion seems to only increase. “Why?”

“They could ask us to do something stupid,” I offer. “Riven was joking that you and I should pretend to fall in love to throw off the Capitol and I wouldn’t be too surprised if they want us to take a stab at it.”

With a hesitant grin, Royce chuckles softly, “Would that be a bad idea?”

The honesty in his eyes throws me off. We had only known each other for a short time, apart from our conversations over the radio, and had only seen each other face-to-face for a day - was that enough time to fall in love with someone? For Mick and her boyfriend, it was, but we aren’t them. Could we really pull that off? “What do you mean?”

“Miles and Mick pulled off the enemies-to-friends thing in just a few days,” he states with a shrug. “Who says we can’t pull off something of our own in the same amount of time?”

I guess he’s right. If it’s just for show, it shouldn’t be hard to overcome. “How can we make it convincing?”

Royce chuckles, “Considering how well you handled the girl from Four and how we’ve been together since you got down here, I think we’re already convincing.” We both share a laugh, but he eventually says, “I think we can make it look realistic just by spending time together and getting to know each other better. What do you say?”

I want to trust him. We both know that friendships don’t usually last in the arena, but after Mick and Miles made it out alive last year, I guess anything is possible. If we play our cards right, we could make it out of the arena safely. All three of us could. The possibilities and potential outcomes are endless, but the idea of having more friends inside the arena than enemies is welcoming. The innocent, hopeful glimmer in Royce’s eyes makes my decision easy and, before I can stop it, a smile tugs at my lips, and I nod. “Sounds like a plan.”

#Scattered Screams #Vivien #Riven #Royce

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josiebelladonna · 11 months

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okay, it’s the mother of all long stories and there’s way too much i can’t talk about because of legalities, but because my mom and stepdad were basically given this house that we currently live in, the whole financial situation around this place has been extremely tricky since we moved here in 2015. it belonged to my stepdad’s mom, who passed away in 2014, and he and his sister inherited her estate; she passed in 2019, and he went in 2021, so it went to their children. i never met her kids, they have never even been here to this house; and his son (my stepbrother) who quarantined with us with his girlfriend and their daughter, took off back in january, so it’s been just my mom and me here. my stepbrother promised to take care of this (i won’t say how much is owed just from confidentiality, but it’s a lot, though) during quarantine because he’s technically the owner of the house… and look what happened. 👀

it sounds scary, but i promise you it isn’t: the mortgage was paid for a long time ago and there’s no rent, either. but my mom and i have two choices: find a way to get her name on the deed and do the whole “redemption” process there (because of the pandemic interspersed with the delinquent period, we figure we could qualify for assistance), or… we pack up and bounce this summer. we’re both vouching for the former because while we’ve wanted to care for this house and then move coincidentally since 2018, and it’s seriously getting harder to live here given where it is and the fact we’re probably facing an el niño this year (read: another wet winter), it’s pretty sudden. plus, the economy is getting bad again: it’s not like we can readily find a new place, be it in nevada or oregon, on such short notice. in other words, it’s more daunting than anything.

but. if it does get to that point, like it’s not possible to put her name on the deed… her job is internet based, i.e., she can take it anywhere and it’s assignment-based, in that she works for four weeks and then has time off until the next assignment. i have my tablet with me, i always have my tablet with me, especially after my laptop went belly-up back in march: i haven’t been updating my fics lately because i’ve been doing yard work and housework, stuff that’s physically demanding and i just haven’t had the brain power to sit down and write the last few days (make art, definitely, but not write, though). this being said, when my stepdad died, i had this inexplicable feeling that i was going to have to start writing more on mobile. given the mobile devices, i can promise you that i won’t stop: it’ll just be… you know, a little slow.

i’m saying this here on tumblr, but i’m not expecting anyone here to give a shit. this site has a reputation for handing out likes when someone asks a (usually important) question, and it’s only gotten worse with the tiktok generation, and i have a reputation on here, too. people on here don’t like me, like there’s a reason why i have my ask box turned off and i’ve had it turned off for years. i shelved the idea of starting a patreon or a tip jar a long time ago because i got literally no response, nobody cared—despite the audience i’ve acquired on instagram, i still don’t believe anyone cares or would care, who the hell wants to watch me draw? i’m lucky to get more than 3 notes on a drawing i made, what makes me think anyone would shell out money to see it happen? this site has gotten so fucking toxic the last few months alone that i literally have no faith whatsoever. plus, i’ve gone to great pains to shake off the whole green druidess situation but i still feel the animosity and the repercussions towards me: there’s way too many people on here with a sense of entitlement like her, like they think i should just give away everything that i have, and way too many people on here with a victim mentality as big as hers. who am i talk about my problems like this when the economy is tanking and other people don’t even have a roof over their heads? and, like her, people on here don’t listen. there’s a reason why tumblr has the reputation that it has, like sometimes i wonder what i’m still doing here because there’s no respect, for art, for anything genuine.

i’m telling you all this for my own good. there’s a 50/50 chance that my mom and i could be doing the nomadic thing in a month and i don’t know where else to say this.

#personal #text #artists on tumblr #using that tag because there’s still some activity in there #i have 0 faith so it’s there kind of to spite itself

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fanfictionstuff · 2 years

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So I just started watching Orient and I was joking around with a friend about this. I feel kind of weird because I haven’t seen any other fanfics. This turned out a bit longer than I had originally planned 💀 Naoe x Reader

Aiko’s jaw dropped at the scene in front of her, she was heading towards your apartment for help with an assignment. Instead of waiting for the elevator which was on the 30th floor, she decided to take the stairs since you were only on the third floor. It would be way quicker. I should’ve waited for the elevator. She thought to herself as she quietly stepped back so the two in the hallway couldn’t see her. Aiko slightly panicked when the man across from you stepped away like he was heading to the staircase she was in, thankfully you had tugged his arm back to have him wait for the elevator. To spend more time with her? Aiko pondered. As the two of you waited the man wrapped his arm around you. The scene caused Aiko’s heart to tighten in her chest. I can’t believe this is happening. She felt weird watching the two of you, but she couldn’t leave now, you might hear her going down the stairs, or she might bump into the man outside. Even though he most likely has no idea who she is, she didn’t want to risk it.

It felt like hours had passed, though it was probably more like ten minutes. The man left and you had returned to your apartment. Still, Aiko didn’t move from the stairway; she bit her lip nearly drawing blood. How could you do this? What should she do? She couldn’t face you now, she felt too many emotions and feared she might snap. Instead, she pulled out her phone and quickly sent a text apologizing letting you know she wouldn’t make it.

Once Aiko made it home, she dropped onto her sofa only to quickly stand once more and pace around her living room. “What do I do? He’s not really my friend, but he doesn’t deserve this. I can’t approach her about this.” She wanted to scream at you, going to you is out of the question. You’re her friend but she refuses to keep this secret. “But who should I tell?”

Aiko struggled the last few days, not knowing who to tell. Though her emotions had leveled off, she still refused to speak to you about this. She couldn’t speak to him; would he even believe her? “I should’ve taken pictures or a video.” She frowned; she had been beating herself up about not taking a video since arriving home after it happened.

“So, what did you need to speak to us about?” Kuroko smiled at Aiko; the girl was obviously upset about something. Kuroko and Tatsuomi sat across from Aiko in a coffee shop. Aiko fidgets as the image of you in the hallway fills her mind once more. They were a little confused why one of your friends they didn’t know that well would invite them out, but she had sounded really upset about something.

“Please listen to me, I know you don’t really know me but you’re both good friends with Naoe. And ___” She added your name as an afterthought. They are pretty good friends with you, and have been for years, but that might be over soon.

Both Tatsuomi and Kuroko sat quietly waiting for her to continue. Aiko held her cappuccino nervously drumming her fingers on the side. She paid no attention to customers coming and going, focused on the two before her. Honestly, she couldn’t really hear the door opening. She sat so tense she almost had blocked everything out.

“I-I” She stopped. What if they don’t believe her? She can’t keep this to herself though. “I saw ___ kissing another guy a few days ago. It wasn’t Naoe.”

Tatsuomi didn’t respond, his blank stare scared Aiko. Does he think I’m lying? She thought nervously.

“Are you sure?” Kuroko sounded skeptical.

“Yes, ____ is my friend. But I can’t just ignore what happened. It was a few days ago, I was supposed to meet her at her apartment so she could help me with some classwork. I decided to take the stairs because the elevator would’ve been too slow and when I got to her floor, I saw her kissing some guy. I was hoping it was a mistake, but it wasn’t a simple kiss. It was a deep kiss. Then he held onto her until the elevator came. It really bothers me because I know how much ____ hates-“

“Cheaters.”

Aiko froze. She didn’t want to turn around, you’re probably furious she’s telling your friends that you cheated on their other close friend.

“When exactly did this happen?” Another voice.

Taking a deep breathe Aiko turned around. Seeing you so close to Naoe was upsetting, how could you cozy up to him when your tongue was shoved down some other guys throat a few days ago? Hell, you could’ve been with the guy within the last few days too. There could even be other guys! Aiko steeled herself, ready to speak up. Determined to call you out.

She stood up to face the couple, despite feeling unsure she was able to stand up with her shoulders squared, head held high. Tatsuomi sat quietly still in the booth, while Kuroko held a hand to her mouth.

“A few days ago, I was supposed to go to ____’s apartment.” As Aiko told the story Naoe looked upset. His arm dropped from your waist and Aiko was sure he was about to call you out for cheating on him or maybe even end the relationship. Though instead of either happening, Naoe walked by Aiko and gently tugged you along with him by the hand. He stopped at the counter to make an order then headed towards a booth in the back corner.

Aiko dropped back to the booth, staring at the couple in disbelief. She turned her attention to the two sitting across from her to see Kuroko holding a hand over her mouth as her shoulders shook. “Are you laughing?”

Kuroko waved the woman off. “So, tell me, what did this man look like?”

Aiko blinked. “Uh, the lighting isn’t very good in the hallway of her apartment building, but he had light hair, his shirt was undone, and he seemed to be well built, it also looked like he had tattoos around his eyes? Might’ve been makeup.”

Kuroko turned back to look at ___ sitting in the booth, Naoe had left to get their order. “____ you better stop playing around.” She light-heartedly scolded you from across the room.

Aiko couldn’t really see you, but she was sure you had rolled her eyes at Kuroko’s comment. You turned to Aiko and waved her over.

Oh crap. Aiko frowned. Is she upset I told them? But she hates cheaters. I don’t understand. Aiko awkwardly walked towards the booth. “Hi.” She whispered.

You didn’t speak, you just sat there quietly staring at Aiko with no expression.

“Look, I can understand you’re upset. But I needed to tell someone, he should know the truth. With how much you hate cheaters I can’t believe you’d cheat on him. He was one of your best friends growing up. You told me you’d never felt that way about anyone, and I saw you kissing another guy the day I was supposed to go to your house.” Aiko was shaking she was so upset. One of the major things you started to bond over was the fact you both had fathers who cheated. It was something that you hadn’t even realized you were still hanging onto the pain of it until you started speaking to Aiko. Both of you hated cheaters, sure, you and Naoe didn’t have a family. But cheating is still horrible, from what you had told Aiko you’d been in a relationship with Naoe since high school. Eight years. Who cares how hot the guy is? You shouldn’t be tempted by some random guy.

As Aiko stood in front of you, hands shaking, Naoe joined you at the booth with drinks in hand. He slipped in the same side you were sitting on, putting himself between you and Aiko.

“Do you really think I’d invite you over at the same time a guy I was having an affair with was at my home?” You questioned as you brought your drink to your lips.

Aiko paused awkwardly. You had a point. Wait, did you and Naoe have an open relationship? Her eyes widened at the thought. “Oh my god, are you two in an open relationship?!” She screeched in the shop, thankfully there weren’t many customers. You might’ve slapped her.

“Sit down you idiot.” You hissed. Even though there weren’t that many customers Kuroko and Tatsuomi were still at the other booth and Kuroko had started laughing again.

Once she was seated Aiko’s mouth dropped open in disbelief. You had reached towards Naoe and brushed back the hair that was always in his face.

“Oh.”

#orient x reader #Naoe #Naoe x reader #orient anime #naoe kanetatsu #Kanetatsu #tatsuomi uesugi #AU #awkward

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blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk · 2 years

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When you sit down next to him on a bench outside the ballroom, you barely know who he is.

You know his father’s a shipping magnate, and he works within that same company, but aside from the surname Phelps, you can’t conjure up a given name to go with the face. The two of you have certainly never met formally before.

Still, no one else has caught your eye all night. When he rushed out of the main area, excusing himself from some girls who seemed rather more content to talk to themselves than to him anyway, the party ceased to be entertaining to you.

He’s the most interesting thing about the entire night, so of course you gave chase.

The cool evening air crystallizes his breath as he tries in vain to catch it; he looks so anxious, you don’t think he’s even registered that there’s anyone beside him. You shift just slightly and clear your throat. “Lovely night.”

“Ah!” It’s almost a squeak, his shoulders shooting up to his ears. The poor thing! Oh, no, he’s so adorable. “M... my apologies. Yes, it... it, ah, it is. A lovely night. I’m... I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize...”

You shake your head. “No, don’t be sorry. You seemed like you were in a terrible hurry to get out of there, so I... wanted to come make sure you were alright.”

He blinks at you, big doe eyes sparkling in the moonlight. What’s the matter, has no one ever expressed concern for him before in his life? “Oh... oh, well, that’s... that’s a-awfully kind of you, th-thank you.”

“... So... are you? Alright, I mean.” You slide yourself over toward him, just a touch.

“Oh! I, ah, well... y-yes, I believe so. I...” He lifts one hand to rub at his other arm, quite sheepishly. “I... needed some air, I suppose. Things just got a bit overwhelming. I... I didn’t really know w-what to say to those women. They must have been so bored,” he chuckles, but it’s a weak, self-conscious attempt to dismiss something that’s very clearly hurt his feelings.

You tilt your head. “I do believe you could have shown those two a flawless diamond and they still wouldn’t have paid you any mind. They seemed rather rude to me.”

One swift motion, and a risk is taken as you place your hand over his. “Actually, I think they simply have poor taste. You didn’t have to say a word to draw my attention.”

“O... oh...? ... Oh!” You don’t think you’ve ever seen anyone’s face turn red so quickly before. You also don’t think your heart can take this man. “You... y-you don’t have to... spare my f-feelings like that...”

“No? Ah, what a relief. It’s a good thing I’m not doing that, then.” You give his hand a gentle tug, up toward your face... and dust a kiss over his knuckles. “My name is (Name) (Surname). I really am delighted.”

He’s stammering for a moment, seeming barely able to get a word out. Perhaps it’s just flustering for him to be on that side of the gesture. “I... I, ah, I’m... I’m... PATRICK Phelps. I-I, ah, er... th... thank you...? And I... I-I’m delighted, too! I’m... I’m so sorry, I...”

You can’t help but smile. Oh, God, he’s lovely. This man is going to ruin me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at anyone else. “Thank you in turn. If it’s not too much trouble...”

You rise to your feet, gingerly guiding him with you. “May I have this dance?”

“I... I-I... I, er...” As if he barely knows what he’s doing, his other hand comes down to rest feather-light on your waist. “... Y... yes... yes, please.”

#Black Butler #Kuroshitsuji #Patrick #Patrick Phelps #minific #reader insert #romantic #fluff #yes hi hello I am fucking STARVED FOR PATRICK CONTENT I HAD TO DO /SOMETHING/

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renee-writer · 2 years

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The Lallybroch Chapter 4

AO3

They both drift off for a bit. Claire still laying on top of Jamie. He wakes first. What is it about this lass that has him throwing out common sense? He never did this but she couldn’t be resisted. Running his hands over the smoothness of her skin, he feels a peace like none other. She wakes and catches his eye.

“Well hello Jamie Fraser.”

“Hello Dr. Claire Beauchamp.”

She moves and he lets her go with reluctance. “I still need to unpack. I can’t believe we did that.”

He grins as he sits up. The muscles in his arms draw her attention. “Twice.”

“Yes. It has been a long time since I have been this satisfied.” She stretches and his eyes are drawn to her bare chest and those awesome breasts. He is impressed there is no awkwardness. She is hurrying to cover up.

“Glad to be of service, my lady.” He sweeps his arm out as he bends at the waist. She laughs.

“You are a ridiculous human being.” Now she stands and starts to gather clothes. “Thank you. I really needed that.”

He stands and takes his clothes. “Me too. Thank you.”

“We will continue, right?” Pulling her knickers on, she then does the pelican stance as she pulls her trousers on.

“Oh aye. I would like that.” He dresses himself. “We should talk about our histories.”

She laughs as she finds a tie and pulls her hair up. “Closing the barn door after the horse is out. Your right. It just struck me as funny.”

“We really are doing this the wrong way around.” He takes a seat at her table. The bed is to tempting. “I have had two lovers, not counting you. The first was in college. She was doing B levels and I was A. We had dated for a year before we came together. Both innocents. It was a strange and messy affair. The times after were better. The second, a lass in Paris. She taught me a lot.”

“I should thank her.” He blushes. “My first was a lad I meet in London. He was right proper about it all. That was a good thing. He prepared me and it wasn’t as painful as I anticipated. It got better. He always knew just how to touch me. The problem is, I could predict his moves.

It lasted until I found him in bed with two girls. That put paid to that. The second is you.”

He stares, mouth slightly ajar. “Me. This cheating bloke and me?”

“I had all the test and follow up tests. I am clean.”

He nods his head. “Good. I wasn’t thinking… should have been. How long ago?”

“A year. You?”

“Eighteen months. I am also clean. Never, without a rubber. I still had tests after Analise. There was no commitment. So I wanted to make sure.”

“That is good.”

“Aye. You loved him, this bloke?”

“Frank. I did. One reason I agreed to cover Dr. Yves maternity leave. A change of scenery.”

“That can help, aye.” She stands and starts putting things away.

“We were to be married. I am glad I found out before.” She’s faced away from him but he hears the emotions in her voice.

“He is a right arse.”

“Yes. What about you Jamie? Ever been in love?”

“Not yet.”

“I believe in lust at first sight. Today proves that. Love, it takes time to develop. I am not sure I want to feel it again. Simple lust is easier.”

“Not sure I blame you.” He stands. “May I help?”

“Sure . Thanks.”

#my writing #outlander fanfic #the Lallybroch #chapter 4 #jamie and claire #cannon divergence #outlander fandom #modern au

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peony-pearl · 2 years

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I really wish I could go back and experience Avatar with fresh eyes. But I’m also glad I was exposed to it when it first aired.

I vaguely remember some advertising for it’s premiere and, at the time, I know I was in deep with my Kingdom Hearts hyperfixation. The first Avatar episode I saw was the day after prom in my Junior year when a girl in the friend group I was in turned on a rerun in April or May 2005. For some reason my mind is convinced the episode was Cave of Two Lovers, but it hadn’t aired yet. I’m not surprised I can’t remember the episode because at the time I was eyeballs deep in heavy OCD symptoms and kind of in the early stages of a huge mental breakdown haha. I’d had visible OCD symptoms for years but had no idea I had it; then barely a month later I was hospitalized and diagnosed because of my intrusive thoughts and ruminations. It kinda sucked lmao.

Over the next couple of years I was exposed to Avatar mostly because of my Uncle. He adored the series. He was an avid cartoon fan who loved art and comics and drawing and had the bones of one of his own comics but became ill and passed away before he could finish it. I appreciated Avatar for what it was, but didn’t really have the heart to get invested. There was a point that I did make an oc and drew some art and wrote a bit but it lasted like maybe 2 weeks tops. 2005-late 2007 was a minefield period of time that was mixed with me trying to reconfigure my whole personality (right around the time I turned 18 so THAT was good timing) and trying to enjoy the things I loved before my breakdown. I was desperate to be who I was before everything happened.

However, I did keep up with the series after moving to another state and the third season began airing. I remember watching Day of Black Sun and then the finale. I just kept up with it out of interest. Then years went by and I finally started moving forward. I found new interests that helped me become creative again, all while making the painful realization that my mental health was a permanent thing after believing I had ‘conquered’ my OCD. I also unknowingly had ADHD, which I was finally diagnosed with this year, which exacerbates my OCD and intrusive thoughts and ruminating.

Years went by, I went through college, I’ve had so many different jobs, I paid off my student loans late 2020 and then in 2021 my mental health got so bad again I finally sought out therapy for the first time in ten years. I started taking medicine for depression and mood swings. Almost all I was doing was working. I lived with my parents, which wasn’t a bad thing; but the strict schedule and my night shift meant I had little chances of doing much, and I gained weight from stress eating for dopamine.

Then almost a year ago I moved out for the first time; hence my DBZ hyperfixation. I wanted some nostalgia, and I’d had a 2 year period where that series was my bread and butter in 2002-2004. However, I moved again earlier this year, and at first it was all about adjustment; but I was beginning to realize I just didn’t do anything. I still have that issue. But in trying to wonder what it was exactly that I wanted or didn’t want, I started to realize if I’m going to live, I may as well start seeking out things to do.

I was tired of just existing, so I finally set up violin lessons, and I’ve been attending them weekly (save missing one here or there) since April. I’ve learned what I have the power to do, even if I often lack the motivation and drive. I’m becoming more and more content, even if there are the off-times when things are iffy.

I was absolutely not expecting my re-introduction to Avatar to be a gifset of Iroh threatening Zhao in the Spirit Oasis; a scene I was unfamiliar with. I think I had watched the series on Netflix some years ago, but again, I’ve lacked the commitment to it. The punch of that scene with a character I had associated with benevolence after being lukewarm towards the series intrigued me, and I fell down the rabbit hole lol

And I’ve realized that, after getting older, the show is actually a lot more meaningful; and after stumbling upon a gifset of Iroh’s quote ‘Life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not’; that hit me. That was exactly what I’d started trying to live by over the past couple of months. Zuko’s strive to figure out who he wants to be hits home too, as I often struggle, even at 34, with what I want or who I want to be. (granted, I need to find a new therapist but that’s another story lmao)

After seeing all this merch pop up and be like ‘oh yeah Avatar that’s a good show’ and being disconnected, I now adore it. I know the bones of it but I’m still learning all of the smaller details and worldbuilding and lore. I’m a newbie but at the same time I know what it is and watched the premieres of The Awakening, The Day of Black Sun, and Sozin’s Comet.

I’ve always appreciated the series for it’s creativity and how it avoided talking down to it’s audience (yeah it had kid moments but it was a Nickelodeon show). And even as an adult so many messages ring true. I definitely put it on the same page as Gargoyles (because 1. I’m biased and 2. both are intricately woven stories that treat it’s audience as adults; I wish Gargoyles had gotten the same closure Avatar did, but for what it is it’s still an amazing show and I’ll always adore it and I’m so glad a show like Avatar did get it’s story completed for the most part)

And yet it’s Iroh’s line ‘whatever you do to that spirit, I’ll unleash on you tenfold’ is the one that kind of brings tears to my eyes; because it rings of conviction and fortitude to do the right thing, and is what brought me back to a little piece of fandom that, even if I already know all of the twists and turns and spoilers, was there for me to pick back up on when I needed it and to help me continue to move forward.

#atla #this is sentimental and cheesy but #at times I wish I could go back to truly feel all of those huge moments in the show #and yet #sometimes I know that if I wasn't already familiar with it it would take me FOREVER to watch it #because I'm horrible at getting into new things #so I am grateful for my familiarity with it #back when it premiered #I watched Crossroads of Destiny without seeing the whole series leading up to that moment so yeah #I missed out on that crucial emotional moment #but ah well #it's still very well written and doesn't miss the mark

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castle-dominion · 10 months

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5x13 recoil

OOH PLOT HEAVY

I love the editing in the clips here, we get the info we need, but also while I'm sure we all remember that some ppl were killed, like roy montgomery, we also get to see the dramatic clip of him getting shot & lockwood with blood on his face & these things are mostly for the drama, not the recap, really really well done bc we still get the recap.

I also like how she hits him immediately after he says he has the power.

Garbage can fire babey. gonna be a dead body. See? Plenty of people throw up when they see (& probs smell) a dead body burning!

RC: Well, I haven’t met him or approved of him yet, so it can’t be serious. All suitors must be met and intimidated by me personally before they can be considered for official boyfriend status. So true

Ew yucky

no dental records then... Ryan looks nice lol. & esposito's jacket is nice

Ryan pretty but meh. Esposito perfectly fine but meh Castle also pretty enough. Becks looks shiny shirt dc!? multiple times in just 20m? Might as well stay on the line.

Why would the boyf have an unlisted number? oh no ooof oof oof ooooooof she left a message hhhh

the phone falls & clatters... oof that is the best... except how would she end the recording? AFTER the phone clatters? the audio changes during "happens" like she moved to a different area, or passed a wall

Yeah smth falls & then like a ring hits the wall zippo? Or maybe he was ALREADY burning the body

Yeah lol u can't remember ppl when you are seeing a hundred a night, or more. unless she comes here often! She was a high end prostitute! BRACKEN? oh of course it was him, this is a plot heavy ep.

No wonder the phone call. & also dealt with OTHER people too! He did not just kill melanie & johanna & attempt beckett, & also raglan & montgomery & mccallister & possibly those other two lawyers or whoever beckett nice coat lol.

ESPOSITO NICE JACKET (& nice scarf on ryan) JE: You know, I was really hoping the next time I saw this guy would be down the barrel of my gun.

*fidgeting with his hand hanging by his legs* Met her there works for you non-paid consultant *stops* I know where I've seen you. I can't believe that he doesn't already have pics of beckett's close circles: friends, work, family,, gym

of COURSE he wouldn't do it himself! Ooh y'all got the fbi to do analysis? Nice! My grampa was able to tell what car, make model, year, idk, just by the sound of the engine.

Why do they need sirens on? They Ooh audio. Echo, loud, yells, I love it when ryan yells beckett's name. Why would they draw a diagram of the gun & do that sort of thing?

I thought beckett was ryan for a sec. That shiny suit jacket, I loved it, really shows off her waist. Then I realized ryan is amab he does not have a waist that small. Becks looks great tho & I like her with her hair back like that. Castle's red jacket & dark shirt are nice too & gates looks good with her red shirt adding colour from behind her black jacket/cardigan. Oh & ryan! light purple shirt with a square pattern (love that for ryan), dark thin tie (I'd call it black but it is not that dark) with multicoloured tiny equally sized polka dots, vest, ooh he's good. I grabbed a pic but idk if it is any good. at least I got a pic of beckett. Update from later in the episode: HIS WAISTCOAT HAS A SHINY SILVERY BACK PANEL SDLKFKSJFDLSKJF & it is tied in such a way that it hugs his hips man I'm such a lesbian fot him (both men) sounds like a disguise bright red shiny tie, really pops

this guy is assassinating him. that's why he insists that the senator goes. Gates my beloved Man has a jacket AND a coat. At least they are different colours

ugh the way she gestures for him to take a seat hhhhh so gooooood KB: Senator Bracken, do you have any enemies? Is there anyone you can think of that would like to kill you? cough cough WB: A man doesn’t get to my position without upsetting people along the way. Most of them aren’t crazy enough to want to kill me. (he gestures) Present company excluded.

JE: I’ll tell you something. If I’m her, I sit in there shuffling papers until whoever it is puts a bullet in Bracken’s head. KR: KR: No you wouldn’t. Because that would make you no better than he is. (well you are just not changing the trolley path. He's the one who tied people to it.) JE: The guy murdered Beckett’s mother. Captain Montgomery. Who knows who else?. ((exactly!)) Bracken’s got it coming to him. So I say let it come. KR: *uncomfy* I mean just two episodes ago esposito threatened to kill someone.

Nice pattern on esposito's shirt. Not an actual pattern, just the weave of it making it textured almost like heather. 24 hours exactly?

RC: Man, these people need to get a life. Most of these guys it seems like their only companionship is the space alien that talks to them through their microwave. *coincidentally finds the letter just as she says that* RC: No, I did actually. I liked the way you uh, dotted the ‘I’ in kill with a little heart. It was a nice touch. Oh yeah chinese food babey Man doesn't take his mug to the break room to wash it?? wait it was not the same writing my bad. it is all caps... In fact, it is the same letter, it was a rough draft.

Senator Bracken When you sleep at night do you dream of the blood dripping off your hands leaking into the ground filling up the valleys and the craters with new lakes and oceans lake hemoglobins the red ocean rivers of blood or do you drift away to some peaceful place unburdened by the endless bodies piling on your shoulders always more bodies never ending as you count the sheep dancing over fences but it isn't the sheep that calm your icy nerves it is their destination as they leap the fence toward the slaug//hter how their bleats and screams must fill that cavity in your chest where a heart should be with bostalgic joy for the suffering you have caused so many he was a boy a precious boy so filled with hope and aspirations and you took that in and you fed on him that boy my boy in the lion's den there is no way to avoid the night calls and the roats of the fearsome loathsome ((cut off)) ((Not going back to change typos; I touch typed this & my touch typing needs work))

Ooh the music also it is late she managed an appointment at this time of night? Are you sure that he is much worse? The one you can live with oof burning...

Coffee <3 Ryan looks nice, his clothes are dark which is less common. espt is wearing some kind of zip up hoodie like that's professional. Becks nice brown leather jacket with a good shape to it. "nothing significant"

Seeing gates with the half sister she kept the eltter phew

Why is castle Sitting at ryan's desk & then ryan leaning over castle pointing the stuff out to him? *interrupts* *looks at the letter while walking back & giving directions*

JE: I’m pretty sure we left Patterson five shops ago. *smacks the badge on the door* "How you doing?" McManus

Ryan looking like my hair lol

*sees him* Oh ooh ooh ooh it's him *shoots just a bit late*

No, castle. She did not miss. (tho it's kind of messed up that when they think that this fellow is an assassin you're allowed to shoot them...) you didn't & that's the good part. *hides her tears*

Not only do you know him but you also looked into him so you know about him. People say ryan is the touchy feely one in terms of emotions & yeah he himself acknowledged the cheesiness of the toast he was giving at the double date last season but esposito is the one to approach kate & talk to her.

She's good She's revealing that!? don't you remember what happened last time you revealed personal information without knowing who is behind the glass? gates is a cop tho, she was a detective, she does interrogations, she can see becks is truthing this room is so big & empty, DP did well. he DOES control everyone lol robert points to three people behind the glass lol, he can't see them blood on OUR hands. She's right, it is in hers bc she let him go! Except if she shot him he would not be available for questioning he might even be dead.

Oh thank goodness, we all thought gates was talking to her about That

What did you say that was right about her?

RC: Check this out. What better way to celebrate the end of a difficult case then with a bottle of – (he trails off when he sees her work) – what are you doing? YEAH NO IF HE'S OFF HIS MEDS THAT AIN'T GOOD KB: And what about Melanie’s body? He burned it and he knocked out her teeth to keep it unidentifiable. Me: Schiz often comes with paranoia, he wanted to be safe KB: And then he leaves a duffle bag in a stolen car for us to find? Me: ... That is not very meticulous of him......

I don't (usually) smoke & I still have a lighter & matchbook music hhh not ALL the evidence, remember? Right, people OFTEN believe that the psychoaffected people don't know what they're doing or are dangerous or planted the bomb, nobody would look further into it

If you're right then you have gained his trust back. 41319 is her badge # btw

secondary area search? man is upset. He lost his temper, this is not normal.

THE LIGHTER I play with em like that too lol WHAT IF THE LIGHTER IS A DETONATOR btw I was right! It IS the assistant person (no they are both just nondescript white guys)

He was BESIDE the car, even if beckett was NOT there he would have been fine

Castle just TACKLED that guy

Five years, long play. Or paid money lol CASTLE ADMITTING HE WOULD HAVE STOOD & WATCHED

Ryan nice light grey jacket, pink shirt, possibly striped, dark tie to contrast, ugh he's so good. Esposito just wearing the kind of "I'm at home today" clothes I wear "just like you would have done" WB: Someone who’s gotten rich making powerful people promises that I need to keep. ((PARDON ME?)) What does a kingmaker do when the king no longer follows orders?

WB: You saved my life. KB: (rolls her eyes) Yeah well, you can’t win ‘em all, can you? a friend? He's right when he says "If I said no, would you really believe me?"

Nice transition to watching tv at home Benjamin Moss? Ah kingmaker. "plane crash" or "car accident" better story. oof.

Wow I'm half an hour ahead of schedule! I started watching at 9.30, so I should have been done the day's first ep by 11 but I was 20m early, now I should have been done by 12.30 & it is only five after, I'm doing well!

#castle 5x13 #castle 5x13 spoilers #castle s5 spoilers #castle 5x13 quote #plot heavy

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