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yerimbrit · 1 month

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lovergirl : m. danielle

synopsis: even after she left you, you still came crawling back.

# : pairing ! danielle marsh x gn!reader

# : tags ! angst with a happy?? ending, this is set in like 2026, i'm... sorry(?)

# : wordcount ! 3.6k

# : warnings ! none i think just swearing

do you know why you're at the airport?

you're 21. she's probably 21 around this time too, since her birthday was last month. you wonder where she is now, if she's doing well. but knowing her, she's probably thriving, unlike you, stuck behind deadlines and finals.

you see her everywhere. not just on billboards, advertisements, and songs, but also in the little things around your neighborhood. the small candy shop around the corner, where your parents took you and her when you behaved. the local family-owned diner, where you and her stopped by on the weekends. the playground that connected to the park in the heart of the city, where you and her played on the swings after curfew.

instead of elation that hit you when you saw these things, though, it was bittersweet nostalgia.

...she didn't even say bye before she left.

it's not like you could blame her, though. she knew that you would convince her to stay, to not leave you alone because she was your everything. that you would take her hands in yours and look at her like she puts the stars in the sky, whispering sweet nothings into her ears like the world was going to end after midnight.

she wasn't there for graduation. or at least, you didn't see her there—she was promoting her first comeback album, or so you've heard. you'd muted nearly everything that had to do with her. it was cruel, you know that, because she hasn't even done anything wrong. but it was for the sake of your heart. you never did get to confess to her properly.

sheltering your heart was the least you could do, in the process of recovering from your heartbreak. but if you knew if you saw her again, that shell would be broken instantly.

so no, you don't know why you're at the airport, on the way to seoul to go to some fansign that you heard about just two weeks ago.

the air of the crowded gate is suffocating, a reminder of how you felt whenever a video of her showed up on your for you page before you blocked the fan account and muted all the tags.

you breathe in, hearing a familiar-sounding laugh behind you, and you whip around only to see two random strangers talking to each other.

'not good,' you grit your teeth. if you saw her right now you would've broke down.

cacophonies of conversation between the crowd rang in your ears, and you groan, covering them. you couldn't wait to get on the plane so you could put on the noise-canceling headphones that you'd bought specifically for this 14 hour flight.

thankfully, your wishes were granted, and you were allowed entry onto the plane. it was a cheap economy seat—you were still a student, after all. your parents offered to pay when you told them you were going to korea, but by then you'd already bought the ticket.

two hours in and it hits you that you're an idiot. a big idiot. you know nothing about the group she's in. buying multiple albums to go to a fansign for a group known worldwide, without even knowing the names of the members?

you pull up their page on kprofiles and start reading, assimilating yourself with the world of... kpop. yeah. you've never bothered with kpop, even though she was an idol. it's not like you hated it, you just didn't bother getting into it. plenty of your friends were avid listeners, pouring details after details about their favorite groups to you, and that was fine. you didn't mind.

'kim minji,' you read to yourself. 22, the oldest... representative animal is a bear... yeah, you can see it. the next was hanni, the vietnamese-australian member of the group. two aussies? what a coincidence.

you read on, studying each member thoroughly before moving to the next. you make a note to watch videos on youtube about them when you get to the hotel. you read about haerin and hyein, the youngest members, then scroll back up to the member you skipped.

'danielle marsh.'

you knew what she looked like already because of how popular the group was, but…

'she still looks the same after all these years.'

the same smile, the same eyes. you wonder if anyone else has ever seen the way her eyes twinkle under the moonlight after dark.

'hobbies: drawing, listening to music, swimming... guess she's the same girl after all.'

your seatmate nudges your shoulder, and you almost jump. "hey, are you interested in newjeans?"

he looks at you excitedly. he seemed about the same age, maybe a bit younger than you. figured there'd be at least one of their fans here. why'd you have to get seated next to one of them?

"um," you hum, "something like that."

you don't bother to tell him about your past with one of the members, or the fact that you bought albums for a chance to see them without any knowledge of who they were, because it was none of his business. god knows what would happen if you told him the truth.

he starts blabbering about how he was a fan since debut, and you tune him out, closing your eyes and putting on your headphones. it's not like he noticed, anyway. maybe you can catch up on some sleep you missed while studying.

you dream of her during your impromptu nap, waking up with tears in your eyes. the guy next to you stopped talking too, fortunately. at that rate, you thought he would've continued after the flight.

you check the time on your phone. surprisingly, a few hours have passed, and the flight is almost over. you must've passed out completely once you shut your eyes. the flight attendant comes by to remind you to unplug your phone from the power outlet, and you patiently wait for your plane to land.

one look outside and you could see fluffy white clouds perfectly set in the air, like a painting or piece of art you could find on social media. you swear you see a rabbit shaped cloud. or maybe you've been staring too hard.

("look, y/n! doesn't that one look like a bunny?

"nah, it's definitely a cat. where are you getting bunny?"

"where are you getting cat? it's most definitely a bunny!"

"okay, okay, fine. you're right, it does look like a bunny, dani."

"see? told ya!")

'fuck,' you shake your head. you try to think about something else. the seat in front of you. the loud sound of the airplane taxiing on the runway. the aircraft marshaller directing said plane.

breathe in. one, two, three, four, five. breathe out. one, two, three, four, five.

you and your seatmate get up to exit the plane, and he flashes a polite smile at you. you offer a tight-lipped one back. the aisleway is cramped, as it always is when you fly economy, and you bump into some people. there's a gross spark of electricity every time you brush shoulders with someone, and you shiver, suddenly reminded of the need to shower when you check in to your room.

the first thing you notice when you step into the airport from the ramp is that there are many products with an idol's face plastered on the front. twice on a candy bag, bts on a bag of chips, le sserafim on a sports drink... the list goes on. it's like they worshipped these people.

...whatever makes them happy.

a crowd comes stampeding towards your direction, causing your survival instincts to kick in. you take refuge in a nearby gift shop to avoid them. the airport was already loud, but the noise increased once the crowd came bursting through.

"minji-ssi, look here!"

"hanni! i love you!"

"please do a heart pose with haerin, danielle!"

"hyein-ssi, over here please!"

your hand twitches. it's not like they were going to see you, but you inconspicuously make your swift escape anyway. there's a bittersweet twist in your stomach at the mention of her name.

instinctively, you whip your head around just in time to make eye contact with her. her mouth is agape and her eyes are widened, and she looks as if she were going to say something, but you turn back around and start power walking to the nearest exit.

does she still remember you? maybe she does, considering the expression she made when you two met eyes. and you can't help but to think, 'does she miss me?'

does she think of you the way you think about her, 24/7, 365 days a year? does she remember the memories you made together, all those years ago? and does she treat them like precious jewels in a well-kept box, or like a constant reminder of what could've been, like you do?

but you also can't help but to think about how beautiful she looked. she's matured, something that you could only sense outside of the pictures provided by the internet. and she holds herself in a poised manner with an air of elegance, but also with a sense of cheeriness and innocence well-placed.

it has been 6 years since you have seen danielle in person.

6 years since you have lost the light of your life.

and you would do anything to change that fact, but, alas, it would never come.

you think you've memorized all the members by now, binging videos of them for three days straight. of course, you went out and explored, since you were in a foreign country, but even when you were out you were still trying to learn everything you could about the group that she's in.

the night before the meeting, you don't sleep well. you wake up on your back, sweating, because you've just had a nightmare. a nightmare where you reunite with her, but she said that she never liked you, and walked away. with every step you took, the distance between you two only increased.

wiping your sweat, you take a few gulps of water from the bottle on the nightstand, taking deep breaths to try and calm your heart. it's around 7 am, looking at the digital clock on the table. the meeting starts at 12, and you have to get there by 11 before it gets too busy for you to even get in.

you walk over to the bathroom with a sense of dread, intending to take a refreshing shower to clear your head.

(it did not help. your mind remains clouded with thoughts of her. impending doom awaits you in four and a half hours.)

not knowing what else to do since you woke up too early, you get dressed and go for a walk. there's a nice, humble café two blocks down the street from your hotel, and you get a warm welcome when you walk through the doors of the establishment. the bells chime in a familiar tune, lifting your spirits ever so slightly.

of all the places you've been to since landing in korea, more than half of them have played at least one newjeans song as background music. and, lucky for you, this one is not. although it is a bit jarring to hear smooth jazz rather than the energetic voices of the girls you've been seeing everywhere.

the café is mostly quiet, aside from the clacking of the dishes and the soft chatter of the few customers also spending their morning here. you mark it as somewhere to visit again, if you ever come back to korea.

with every sip of coffee, there's an added chill to combat the blazing heat that the sun is emitting outside. the sun reminded you of her, who shines just like the sun that breathes us life. the moodmaker between the two of you, who cheered you on even on days where it felt hopeless.

but the iced beverage also filled you with energy, giving you confidence to make it through the big obstacle of the day. (and also the entire reason you even came all this way) you could face her. it's been 6 years. and, well, if it doesn't go well, then at least you'll have an excuse to never come back.

with newfound courage, you exit the café with long strides and return to your hotel room, preparing for the journey ahead. a charger, cash, and a water bottle are all secured in your small crossbody bag.

it's 10:15.

your uber comes in around 10 minutes, and you decide to wait outside in the front to save time.

the drive from the hotel to the venue is about 30 minutes. during that time, you listen to the playlist full of newjeans songs that you made on the day you landed, and take a brief power nap. 'hurt' is the last thing you hear before you drift off to sleep.

you don't feel like you belong here. there's dozens, maybe around a hundred fans talking amongst themselves. from your limited korean, you could tell they were talking about their excitement for the fansign that's about to start in 15 minutes. you really wish you could share the feeling, even though you tried to get into them for three days straight.

a fan approaches you, tapping your shoulder, and you jolt. what is with people and sneaking up on you?

"hey!" oh, they're speaking in english. that makes this easier for you.

"hey," you echo, waving to them. upon closer look, you could see that their tote bag is decked out in merch, from keychains to stickers and a... hanni photocard? you think it's hanni. it's hard to tell when they change their hair colors every comeback.

they notice you staring, and smile at you. then they reach into their bag and pull out a clear goodie-bag containing some stickers and a lomo card.

"would you like one? i ran out of the others, sadly, but i do have hanni and danielle," they say, pulling out another bag which you presume has the other member mentioned.

the iridescent glow of the transparent bag shimmers in your eyes, and you blink. "oh," you start, "i think i'll have hanni."

the goods are handed to you, and you exchange friendly goodbyes. you wistfully look at the card inside the bag, mixed feelings swirling in your gut. it's for the better.

you have a couple more interactions with other fans, some giving you freebies like the first one, and some enthusiastically chatting to you about the group. your initial feelings of discomfort, are, admittedly, still there, but there's an added layer of pleasantness on top now.

weaving through the crowd to get to your assigned seat, you clutch the strap of your new tote bag containing all the things fellow(?) fans have given you.

the tote was another one of the things given, and you think the design is pretty neat, with a nicely placed logo and slogan in a chic style. you might actually use it after today, too.

the announcer calls for the fansign to commence, and five girls file in from a side entrance, their managers and bodyguards following alongside. immediately, the venue erupts in cheers from the audience, shouting affectionate phrases to the members, similar to what happened at the airport.

influenced by the majority, you cheer as well, although it was cut short when you realized that internally you were so out of place.

the group begins with some simple conversation starters, such as 'how are you' and 'have you eaten?' with as much energy as when they came in. you don't exactly know what's happening, so you sit and wait patiently for the event to start. everything seems so daunting.

finally, after around 5 minutes of greetings, the actual signing is starting. you're seated in the middle, which works out in your favor; not one of the first ones to come up and have to face her, but also not one of the last ones and lose your courage. you watched the interactions, the delusion-inducing actions that each of the girls provided, and the poses that they did together. the people around you were either taking videos, pictures, or excitedly talking to their friends beside them.

as the amount of rows in front of you remaining to go up and talk to the girls dwindles down, your heart sped up, thudding against your chest. an even bigger sense of dread instills in you, legs unmoving when the row directly in front of you comes back to sit down. you get nudged by the person next to you to move, and you shakily bring yourself to apologize and get a move on.

what would her reaction be? would she be shocked? happy? maybe mad, because if she actually wanted for you to be involved in her life all this time she would've said goodbye to you, or kept in touch. maybe you should just leave. you got yourself in this whole predicament, anyway. no one even told you to do it.

your palms are sweaty as you make your way down the velvet stairs, and you wipe your hands on your pants in nervousness and fear. eventually, the line slows down once your row reaches the table that the girls are sitting at, and you take it as a chance to try to relax.

breathe in.

five things you can see. seats, the person in front of you, the ground you are standing on, the album that you're holding to get signed (in your extensive research, people usually brought theirs to be signed on), and the table that seems so close yet so far from you. okay.

breathe out.

four things you can touch. the album, your shirt and jacket, and the bracelet on your wrist.

in...

three things you can hear. the increasingly obnoxious whirring sound of the air conditioning, the buzz of the audience, and...

fuck.

"hey, how are you?" a somewhat familiar voice asks. you say somewhat because you've only heard her voice in videos. you find yourself now kneeling in front of minji, the oldest member of the group. she's a lot prettier up close, all of them are, but it's a bit jarring to suddenly see her with your own eyes.

you clear your throat, blinking rapidly to try to focus yourself on the girl. "i'm, i'm gooth-"

...you bit your tongue. you try to laugh it off, awkward giggles slipping from your lips, and thankfully she joins you in laughing.

"that's good," she smiles, and it puts you at ease. no wonder people idolize these girls. she signs the front of the album, asks about your life, and you tell her about your school and how you're a newer fan. she waves at you with another gummy smile once your two minutes are up.

the next is haerin, who is the more reserved and quiet member of the group. there's a pair of cat ears sitting on her head, probably a gift from one of the previous fans, and she blinks at you owlishly, almost like she knew you, before a small smile settles on her face.

it is slightly unsettling, but the more you converse with her the more that feeling dissolves. she really is reserved, and the two of you exchange witty remarks with knowing grins. she signs your album just before the two minute mark.

hyein is super friendly, very high energy. you feel like she'd be a great person to be around on any given day. your conversation with her is mostly centered around food, and how she wants to visit australia again once you mentioned where you're from. she signs the album in the middle of your discussion about the best korean foods to try during your stay.

your time with hyein ends with a staring contest. (she won) and you give her a handshake after, joking about how you would win the next time. you think the sparkles in her eyes are very endearing.

hanni signs your album as soon as you set it down on the table. she's a very likable person in general; you think you could've been friends with her if she went to the same school as you. you also share the same music taste, spending your time together talking about the latest sza album and comparing hand sizes (yours were bigger, unsurprisingly)

but nothing could prepare you for the girl at the end of the table. her laugh rings in your ear from diagonally across from you, and you get a splitting headache. you mask it well enough for hanni not to notice, though, and you're able to finish the interaction smoothly.

how could anyone ever hate danielle? definitely not you. as much as you had reasons to hate her, you just couldn't bring yourself to do so much as dislike or be angry towards her. instead, you just drowned yourself in your sorrow and confusion.

she's perfect. the exact opposite of you, and yet she stayed with you until she didn't. those memories that you have together, they're so engraved in your mind, and you don't even know if she feels the same.

you slide over to the next slot, keeping your head down as you placed your album back onto the table.

heartbeat thudding in your chest. cold sweat running down your cheek. teeth biting your lip. is this the end for you? because it sure does feel like it.

when you finally do look up, and make eye contact with danielle, it feels like time has slowed even though it's really only been five seconds. her expression is mirroring yours: widened eyes, lips slightly parted. you gulp.

tears well in the corner of her eyes, and fuck everything, because you made her cry.

she blinks them away, and clears her throat, taking a second to regain her composure, and timidly calls out to you.

"y/n?"

a/n : 🤗 not the best at writing angst i hope this is ok !

#newjeans x reader #newjeans #danielle marsh x reader #danielle x reader #mo jihye x reader #danielle newjeans #danielle marsh newjeans #gxg #girl group imagines #girl group x reader #newjeans imagines

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abiiors · 9 months

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disclaimer: please don't copy, translate or reupload my work here or on any other platforms!

key: a → angst // f → fluff // s → smut // h/c → hurt/comfort // a/f → angst to fluff

matty blurbs

august━(s, f) | contains oc. cara is a on a holiday in italy and runs into a handsome stranger

canvas━(s) | painter!au. you're a nude model for a really hot painter and... well, you decide to make art together

cold shower━(s, f) | the ac is broken and in lieu of fixing it, you and he decide to take a cold shower

corruption━(s) | politician!au. your boss is Quite unhappy with how a tv debate went and decides you teach you a... lesson

crush━(f) | he has a crush on you and it's only minutes until showtime.

edinburgh━(f) | you have a broken leg resulting in the cancellation of your edinburgh trip

the frontman━(f) | he gets to meet his celebrity crush (you) at an award show

i like it when you sleep━(f) | he sings you to sleep

jealous boyfriend━(a) | he gets jealous of your actor costar after he watches you shoot an intimate scene

jealous boyfriend pt 2━(a/f) | he apologises for being jealous and acting immature

just let me━(a/f) | you won't let your best friend help you while having a slight mental health crisis until he snaps

miserable together━(f) | both of you wake up sick together

mother hen━(h/c, f) | you're sick and he takes care of you

naps━(f) | he's super tired and you help him take a nap

onesie━(f) | you both go onesie shopping for your baby. onesie pt 2━(f)

on wednesdays, we wear pjs━(s, f) | you hate wednesday mornings to begin with and your very warm, very sexy bf makes it impossible to get out of bed

palimpsest━(f) | matty's giving you a tour of manchester and can't help but reminisce about the things that have changed

quiet━(f) | you're still getting used to dating your famous bf

rainy tuesday night━(f, s) | it's still early stages of dating and you're forced to spend a night in because of the rain

sick day━(h/c, f) | he's sick and you take care of him

slit━(s) | you're his date to an award show and the dress you're wearing has a Very high slit

stay━(a) | you run into your ex a year after breaking up

west coast━(s) | road head

wired autocomplete━(f) | you both do the wired autocorrect interview together

your lips, my lips━(f) | dancing in the kitchen with the love of your life

ross blurbs

anniversary━(a/f) | it's your anniversary but he's busy touring on another continent

bass strings━(f) | he teaches you how to play the bass

drunken nights━(f) | he takes care of you while you're super drunk

exhaustion━(h/c, f) | you've been working away non-stop and are at the brink of exhaustion until he makes you take a break

homecoming━(f, s) | he comes home from tour after a long time and you can't seem to keep your hands off each other

helpful━(s) | after a boring one night stand and your vibrator breaking, you're really frustrated at work the next day. he offers to help

hungover mornings━(f) | he takes care of you when you're really hungover

limbo━(h/c) | after a really hectic couple of days on the road, you're really overwhelmed and exhausted

lessons in patience━(s) | your husband's busy working but you're feeling super impatient and needy. turns out, he knows how to tame a brat

marital bliss━(s, f) | an italian honeymoon with your husband

morning routine━(f) | a sweet, quaint morning with him

small comforts━(f) | he takes care of you when you get your period

so you're tired━(a) | you travel to paris to win him back after a breakup but it might just be too late

tomorrow━(a/f) | he isn't dealing super well with the fact that tour’s going to make him miss important days in your relationship

what’s his name?━(s) | a slight bit of jealousy can't hurt when it means getting railed backstage

george blurbs

in stages━(a/f) | five times he almost confessed and the one time he finally did it

red hearts━(f) | dying his hair

support━(f) | he's there to support you at your book launch event

three's a party━(s) | after a lackluster date, you meet two strangers at a pub who make the night thrice as more fun (ft. ross hehe)

HAUNT // BED (MATTY)

do me a favour━(a) // prequel part 1━(a, f) part 2━(a) part 3━(s, a) epilogue━(a, f)

BIRTHDAY BASH (MATTY)

firsts - monday (first birthdays as a couple - his birthday)━(f) special girl - tuesday (first birthdays as a couple - your birthday)━(f) to build a home - saturday (34 headcanons)━(f, s) red lips - sunday (birthday smut)━(s)

WRITE ANYTHING THAT YOU WANT TO (MATTY)

book - monday (early matty, pre-notes/bfiafl)━(f) boyfriend - tuesday (boyfriend matty)━(f) baking - wednesday (dad matty)━(f) birthday - thursday (trope night)━(f) bet - friday (slutty matty)━(s)

WEEKENDS IN MANCHESTER (MATTY)

the meet (cute?)━(f) i'm not stalking you, i promise━(f) i know a place━(f) gathering of strangers━(f, s) say that again━(f, s) i'm so obsessed with you━(s)

KEEP YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER (GEORGE X OC)

masterlist matty and cleo have been best friends for almost a decade; inseparable, until she left for new york. but now she's back—abruptly and clearly hiding things from him—and staying at matty's place until she can figure something out, all while trying not to kill his infuriating housemate george...

PROMPTOBER 2023 (THE 1975 X READER)

masterlist a series of short one-shots from my autumn-themed prompt list

marital bliss━ross

#the 1975 #masterlist

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i-just-like-goats · 2 years

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Dazai x reader where y/n is cheated on but she moves on with another man (chuuya aku idk)

ooh yes you can! When it comes to stuff like this, Chuuya is my go to character, I love them both so much . Hope you enjoy!

Dazai x Female Reader x Chuuya

Summary: in the ask

Warnings: cheating

WC: 1.5k

Main Masterlist Part 2

You wouldn't consider yourself blind or foolish, but Dazai had that exact effect on you. With all your heart, you truly loved him, so you had deluded yourself into thinking that everything was going well between the two of you.

Every cancelled date, you excused it, figuring that everything was just busy at the agency. You wanted to believe that his lack of affection was due to him being tired from all the work at the agency.

Even when you saw him sitting at a bar with some other girl, you just ignored it, hoping that it was a misunderstanding and that they just so happened to sit next to each other.

But strangers don't look at each other like that.

You never confronted him about it, wanting to trust him. But even you could see when it was too much.

All of his colleagues at the agency always wore pitying faces whenever you came around to wait for Dazai only for him to walk off coldly as you followed behind him.

Everyone knew about what was going on, it wasn't hard to figure out. Yet they never dared to confront Dazai, turning instead to you to break up with him.

"Yosano, for the hundredth time, I trust Dazai,"

"But Y/N, I'm sure even you see that there's a huge difference in his behaviour. He doesn't even go on dates with you. I know you love him, but you can’t be blinded by your love for him and-"

She stopped abruptly at the sight of tears forming in your eyes. You shook your head, refusing to cry.

There in front of you was Dazai with his lips on the same girl you saw at the bar. Once they noticed you, you smiled. Dazai's expression didn't change, didn't show any remorse or regret, if anything he looked annoyed by your presence. The same look he'd been giving you these past few weeks.

At least his new girl had the decency to look ashamed. She refused to meet your eyes and hid behind Dazai to stare stubbornly at the ground.

Yosano placed a hand on your shoulder to comfort you but to also stop you from doing anything brash.

"I knew this whole time, you know. I wasn't blind, but my love for you clouded my judgement. I know you've been cheating on me, but I didn't say anything, because I didn't want to let go of you. Now that I know for sure you no longer care, this is where I'm letting go. You let go long ago, it's my turn,"

You turned swiftly in the opposite direction and allowed the tears you struggled to hold back to fall freely.

The girl shuddered at your calm voice. You didn't show sadness or anger, just resignation, and that frightened her.

"You needn't follow me anymore Yosano. You have no obligation to do this, I'm no longer your colleague's girlfriend,"

"But-"

"I'm serious Yosano, please just leave me alone for now, I just need time to reflect,"

She nodded with a sad expression, you smiled in return and walked in the direction of the harbour. There, you sat on the dock allowing yourself to sob out all of your sadness and frustrations. The noise of the waves crashing on the dock drowned out your loud sobs.

Where did you go wrong? Did you do something wrong? Were you not enough for him?

Thoughts swirled around in your head like a gale. Your sobbing increased until you struggled for breath. You were deluding yourself into thinking your relationship was ok and after all that, the only thing you had left was an endless pit of despair.

Someone sat next to you. You lifted your head slowly from your knees after several minutes to give yourself time to calm down.

The stranger turned his own head to look at you, his own body at a 90⁰ angle to yours. A hat sat atop his orange hair and his clothes appeared to be incredibly expensive.

What was such a seemingly rich man doing by this dock sitting next to you?

"What brings you to this place?" You asked hoarsely.

"Just needed a break from the world. What about you? You come here often?"

"Can't say I do. It's my first time here. Like you, just needed a break,"

"It's my first time too. Guess the world was just very taxing on you then,"

You nodded absentmindedly.

"The name's Chuuya,"

"Y/N,"

"Well Y/N, it's nice to meet you, though it could've been under better circumstances,"

"Nice to meet you too,"

"I'm hungry, wanna accompany me?"

"I don't want to take up any more of your time,"

"I chose to come here, you're not wasting my time. Besides, you seem to need something to cheer you up, food always does the trick for me,"

He didn't wait for your reply and opted to hold your hand and guide you to a seemingly expensive restaurant. You stopped slightly.

"I'll pay," He said as he continued to lead you inside.

You blushed lightly. When was the last time that you were treated like this? He seemed to be doing it out of pity and kindness, but you couldn't deny the warm feeling filling your chest.

You found yourself spilling everything about your relationship over the extravagant three course meal. His gentle demeanour eased you to comfortably open up to him.

"And I guess I was crying so hard on the dock back there because, I don't know, maybe I was a bad girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't enough,"

Chuuya made no comment and instead bore into your eyes with such intensity that you diverted your eyes to look at your plate

"From what I've just heard, you weren't in the wrong. This ex of yours is the one to blame. He cheated, that was his decision. You can't do any more than give your all and hope the other person reciprocates. If they don't, then the relationship should probably end. But that's my take on it. Just don't be too harsh on yourself, got it?"

Chuuya's words flattered you, but did little to ease the ache in your heart. It would take more than a nice evening before you stopped doubting yourself. You sighed.

"Easier said than done right?"

"Yeah,"

"Don't worry, as long as you have a supportive group around you, you'll get through this. It'll hurt at first, but I'm always here for you if you feel that you can't talk to anyone,"

"Thank you Chuuya. You're too kind. And if you don't mind, I'll be coming to you a lot. My ex and I have the same friends in Yokohoma,"

"I see. Well, feel free to contact me. Here's my number,"

That encounter with Chuuya was the first of many meet-ups with him. Some meetings were like your first, others were just enjoying each others' presence in silence. Sometimes he would be the one ranting to you about an old partner he had.

Over several months, you healed, Chuuya helped you so much with his words of comfort. Recently, your meetings with Chuuya were no longer you seeking a shoulder to cry on and were instead because you enjoyed spending time with him.

How could you not fall for his charm?

You began to fear that he would stop agreeing to see you once you confessed to him that you had completely moved on from Dazai. You couldn't lose him as well.

"What's got your head spinning? You're frowning,"

"It's nothing,"

"Doesn't seem like nothing. You've been like this the whole week. Come on, you can talk to me,"

"I know I can, but my thoughts are about you,"

"What?"

Chuuya's cheeks instantly turned red at the thought of you having him on your mind.

"Sorry, that came out wrong but-"

"But it's all the more reason to tell me. Am I doing something to offend you?"

"No! You could never,"

"That's a relief then. So, care to tell me?"

You inhaled.

"I don't. I can't lose you,"

"What do you mean? I'm not sick,"

"I'm just scared that I'll lose you when I tell you that I've completely healed. We only became close because you wanted to help me through my breakup, your job's done, so now there's no reason for you to see me,"

"Oh darling," Chuuya engulfed you in his arms, "You're never getting rid of me. Especially now after we've become so close. All those dates would be a waste of time, don't you think?"

"Dates?"

Chuuya stiffened. He didn't mean to say that. To be honest, he started to think of your meet-ups as dates as a way to deal with his yearning for your affection.

"Take me on a proper date then,"

His expression brightened considerably. You laughed at his rapid change of emotions.

"You'd let me? You're not weirded out by what I just said?"

"Of course I'd let you. I'd be lying if I said I didn't also secretly wish our meet-ups were dates instead,"

He smiled and only tightened his hold on you.

"I'll make you so much happier than your ex. I'll love you so much more than you loved your ex. I'll do it all for you,"

"Thank you Chuuya. For everything,"

#dazai angst #dazai x fem reader #dazai x reader #nakahara chuuya x reader #chuuya x reader #bsd x you #bsd angst #bsd x reader #nakahara chuuya x y/n #nakahara chuuya x you #chuuya x y/n #chuuya x you #dazai osamu x reader #bsd chuuya x reader #osamu dazai x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader

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hauntedpearl · 8 months

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okay so here's the thing. i do genuinely think that queerbaiting as a word has lost all sense in today's social landscape, because like. people will look at canonically queer characters and cry queerbaiting just because they don't have like. a partner or something. (or talk about real people queerbaiting which is jusy. not going there. not touching that with a ten foot pole. pls stop.) which is not what it's about. largely, queerbaiting has always been more of a marketing thing than a story-thing. like it's not just where they're writing "canonically" non-queer characters in queer-adjacent scenarios, altho that does happen, but it's also about. writing characters in explicitly queer scenarios but not acknowledging the queerness with an INTENT TO KEEP THE QUEER AUDIENCES INVESTED, while not giving them what they're invested in.

and like. it's not easy to categorise media as queerbait without taking into account the social scenario surrounding the release of said media. like Star Trek is absolutely NOT queerbait. it's queercoding! (while I haven't watched the show myself, I've talked about it enough with my friends to gather as much.) at some point it is the writers trying to slip as much queerness in heavily censored media as they can without getting like. cancelled. which is not them baiting you. it's just them telling a story. and stranger things is not queerbait, because will is gay. whether or not he and Mike have a thing is just. that's a whole different thing. he's explicitly canonically gay. I don't care enough about the show to dissect the coding with Mike but what will experiences as a young kid coming to terms with his sexuality, and him falling for his best friend, and struggling to articulate his feelings, trying to reach out to his brother and failing...these are all just lived experiences of so many queer people. that's not baiting by any means. i mean you can say they're "byler baiting" bc maybe they are idk (I'm sorry I'm just. picking popular media to all about but I don't personally engage enough w it I'm so sorry) like they're kids yk but like. that's not queerbait!!!

and this brings me to supernatural which is probably the only show where I will call it queerbait just because I sense SUCH a, for the lack of a better word, sinister air around the whole destiel thing that it makes me want to put my head in an oven. There's just something INSANE about this show. I do think there were writers who wanted to genuinely give us a queer love story in some way and slipped in as much as they could within the bounds of censorship. and I do think there was so much accidental queercoding because many cooks in the kitchen resulted in this scenario where dean's performance is so very see-through and entirely breaks down even if some of those cooks intended for whatever dean does to be taken at face value. and then there's these episodes where you know those fuckers wanted you to keep watching bc you thought they were gonna make destiel real but they weren't gonna do that they were literally laughing at you they were throwing rocks at you and you still STOOD THERE TAKING IT because you COULD NOT be crazy like you are WATCHING THIS SHIT LIVE. AND YOU KNOW YOU'RE RIGHT.

it's like this. after despair. after s15. hell even after s12. (market research. oh god the market research.) i think a lot of the audience will probably be like. well. this is not queerbait anymore. and they'd probably be right because like. market research!!! and widower arc!!! and tombstone!!!! and domestic family shit in s14!!! the trap!! despair!! this is all just very much a love story. beats of a soap opera romantic drama even. but then you HAVE to consider the way they'd ridicule audience members for bringing up destiel being canon at cons. you have to consider them doing this for almost a year after the show ended even. and then it's like. well what was that about.

see I'm not very smart or articulate so I don't know if I'm conveying my thoughts properly here but what I'm trying to say is. queerbaiting is not about the story. it's never been about the story. it's about corporations trying to lasso in a new demographic without having to do the work to actually earn their attention in full.

like if you asked me if supernatural was canonically a queer show in terms of what was written i would say that it was complicated. because they do toe the line a lot..but there are many arcs which only make sense completely if you turn the rainbow beam on them. so TO ME it's a queer show but if anyone says it isn't I would not talk to them but I also wouldn't be able to refute them completely and that's the catch.

but like. if you asked me if it was queerbait, I would also say yes. because like. the people who forced the queer storylines to toe the line (the network execs I'm talking about the network execs only) wanted to reap the advantages of being an explicitly queer show while not doing anything to rescind the censorship that could make it one very easily.

AND LIKR.. THAT'S MY PERSPECTIVE ANYWAY. IDK ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING. SO WHATEVER.

#i might turn off rbs on this. but yeah #i got this reply on one of my tags a few days ago where someone got super mad that i called spn queerbait snd like. I don't. I DON'T LIKE #ONLINE DISCOURSE SO I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING #by yeah #anyway my thoughts my two cents feel free to disagree w me it's fine #it's just a perspective #doe is talking again #queerbait discourse

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bippot · 2 years

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Summary ~ Poor Eddie didn't show up to school because he has a bit of a cough and Wayne needs his rest, so his best friend and her puppy are willing to come to his aid.

Tags: Domestic Fluff, Sick Character, Cutesy, Friends to Lovers, Caretaking, Tooth-Rotting Fluff

Song Recommendation: Home Sweet Home by Motley Crue

Stranger Things, Eddie Munson Masterlist - here

Skipping school was something that Eddie did often. Very often. All of Hellfire didn't bat an eyelid when he didn't show up at lunch. Maybe he was at a deal. Maybe he was still sleeping. Maybe he just didn't want to.

Yet, they knew with one hundred percent certainty that he'd never miss a Thursday. That's when their campaign was. They can't have a session without the DM! That's literally impossible.

Dustin, ever the sweetheart, decided to call the Munson household to check up on their buddy. Well, he had the idea to call. "You do it," he whined, looking up at Y/N and shoving the note with Eddie's number into her hands.

"You're just scared Wayne will answer."

"Yes, I am. He's so scary, and he knows you."

"Wayne is not scary."

"He is too!"

Y/N chuckled at the younger boy and pushed him out of the way, grabbing the phone as she teased, "Henderson, you are a complete pussy."

The boy huffed and crossed his arms as if daring her to keep teasing him. If she did keep teasing him, he'd tell Eddie about that time he caught her doodling the rocker in her notebook when Mike took four thousand years to decide how he was going to take one of his turns. He had leverage, and he wasn't afraid to use it. "Yeah, yeah. Call the damn number."

So, Y/N dialled the number. It rang five before someone picked up. "Munson residence," A gruff voice huffed out. Wayne. It had to be. Oops, had they woken him? Fuck, he probably worked the night before. He was probably so beat and exhausted from his job. It made her feel instantly bad for doing this.

"Hey Wayne, it's Y/N."

"Oh hey, youngster." Wayne's soft smile reached her ear. Honestly, she had no idea why Dustin was afraid of him. The man was very laid back and friendly, so far from the cold and distant demeanour of Eddie's parents. He was a bit rough around the edges, but Y/N knew that was from a long life of night shifts and stress. But he always seemed kind.

Sheepishly, she twirled the phone cord as she apologised, "Did I wake you? I'm sorry-"

Interrupting, Wayne clarified, "I was already awake, kiddo. Eddie's been coughing all morning long." From the background she'd been hearing sounds that she couldn't quite place, well, now she knew were the harsh tunes of Eddie's smokers cough. How delightful. "Yeah, that idiot boy has come down with a cold or some shit." She could just hear him rolling his eyes as he spoke, "He ain't sick enough to quit smoking though."

Despite her concern, she joked, "Yeah, Ed smokes like a chimney," and tried to ignore Dustin as he poked her in the ribs, urging her to whisper to him what was going on. "Do you need anything? I can always stop by the pharmacy on the way home and drop some things off."

There was a laugh on the line. "Be my alibi when I strangle him? He's been keeping me from my beauty sleep," he replied, a hint of bitterness in his voice that caused Y/N to snicker.

"I could always look after him if you want to get some sleep before your shift tonight? I don't mind, really." And she didn't. Taking care of Eddie would give her something to do. With Hellfire cancelled for the evening, what else could she spend her time doing? Homework? Fuck no. "My parents are on holiday and my house is frighteningly quiet. A coughing idiot could liven the place up a bit."

It was clear Wayne pondered her offer for a moment as the line was silent (except from the distant coughs of the sick loser that was huddled deep in his duvet in his room), until he finally responded, "I knew you were my favourite of Eddie's friends for a reason." A small smirk slipped onto his face as added, "Just don't kill him."

She grinned back, "I'll do my best. I'll pick him up after school."

"Okay. Thanks, kid. I owe you big time. Talk to ya later, alright?"

"Later, Wayne." After hanging up, she smiled and looked over at her friend. Dustin had the smuggest, the most knowing look on his face that she had ever seen. It made her roll her eyes and sigh, "Shut up," but there was no heat behind the words as they both laughed.

"Oh, Eddie. Let me take care of you, my sick little baby," he teased, doing an awful impression of Y/N. She playfully punched his arm and laughed, shaking her head in exasperation, but there was no denying how pink her cheeks had become.

"Shut it."

Humorously, Dustin turned his back to her and wrapped his arms around himself to mimic smooching as his voice got higher and he continued, "Mwah, mwah, one day I'm going to be Mrs. Munson, just you wait. Eddie! Yes, I will marry you! I will bear your fuzzy headed offspring! Mwah, I just love making out with you so much-'' He didn't hear any protests from her, so he turned back around and found that she'd already walked away, meaning that whoever had passed by the telephone had heard him say all that shit and maybe just assumed it was him doing some weird shit. One girl gave him a look. She didn't say anything, but he could tell she was thinking something homophobic. That's the eighties for you, baby.

Hellfire was postponed and Y/N left for Eddie's house the moment the bell rang (well, the drug store then Eddie's). Wayne saw her car park up and almost pushed Eddie out of the door with a "There she is, your Knight in shining...dungarees!" The older Munson looked as tired as she'd expected him to. His hair stuck up in every direction and he had dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. His clothes were rumpled and slightly dirty. He clearly hadn't taken a shower yet.

Eddie looked just as bad, if not worse. He wore a thick hoodie and sweatpants and a blanket hastily tied around his shoulders like a cape, and despite this, he still was shivering. In an attempt to make his hair look less like a dishevelled mop on his head, he'd tied it up in a haphazard bun that was mostly falling out. His nose was red and his expression was one of 'Yeah, I'm not having a great time right now.'

Rolling down her window, she taunted, "Wow, you look like hell."

"Thanks," he sarcastically muttered as he got into her car. There was a small smile tugging at his lips as he closed the door. "How would you like it if I said you looked like shit?"

"I said you looked like hell, not shit."

"Oh, so I don't look like shit?"

"No. You do."

Giving a grateful wave, Wayne went back inside the trailer, presumably to finally get that good shut eye that he needed. As soon as he left, she started the engine and drove to her house. "How are you feeling?" she asked, glancing at Eddie who still had the blanket wrapped tightly around his body.

He shrugged and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked out the window. "Like crap, actually," he admitted groggily, turning towards her and letting her see the pout on his face. His pout was adorable and endearing, but she didn't think it was helping his condition in any way, shape or form. It made her giggle, which was probably a bad thing considering that he turned his glare on her, but honestly, it didn't bother her nearly as much as he thought it would. He was very cute at the moment and she couldn't take his grumpiness seriously.

When they arrived at her house, Eddie jumped out of her car like a little child and hobbled toward her front porch, clutching his blanket like a explorer desperately. clinging to warmth in the arctic tundra. The moment she opened the door, a puppy excitedly ran down the stairs to greet them. She crouched down and let the pup sniff her hand before she picked him up. "I missed you too, Chewie," she declared as the mini Briard happily licked her cheek. Y/N chuckled as she scratched behind his ear and held him against her chest as they made their way inside her abode.

Eddie immediately flopped down on her couch, wrapping his blanket more securely around his frame and burying his face in the throw pillow. He was completely silent, save for the occasional cough. "You okay?" She questioned, putting Chewie down gently on the couch. Eddie simply nodded, pulling the blanket tighter around himself. "You hungry? Thirsty? Got a headache?"

"Yes. Yes....and yes." He rubbed at his temples and glanced over at her curiously, gazing at her with those wide brown puppy dog eyes that she loved so much. Even without saying anything, she was sure he was trying to ask her a question with his eyes alone, and that question was clearly 'Please?'

Without hesitation, she moved to retrieve what he needed and urged Chewie to "Go cuddle up to Eds. He needs it, bud," and somehow it seemed that the dog understood what she said. Or maybe it was because Eddie had a blanket. She came back a few moments later carrying painkillers and a water bottle to find the pair sitting together with Eddie talking to the dog softly about nothing in particular. Y/N quietly sat down next to him and handed him the pill bottle and water. He eyed them with fake caution. "Cyanide?"

"Belladonna."

With a groan, he held his hands out to take the items from her hands and chugged them all in record speed, before handing the empty bottle back. Two out of the three things she'd offered had been provided. One was left. "Food please," he whined, pouting as he'd done in the car. She laughed and hurried to the kitchen to warm up some soup before bringing it to him. It wasn't anything special, but it was simple and quick and the smell alone was enough to have Eddie smiling like an idiot.

Once the bowl was safely within his grasp, she settled in next to him, propping her feet up on the coffee table. At first he seemed to look at her strangely, so she declared, "What? Do you want me to feed you too?" With a smug grin, she swiped the spoon from his hand and teased, "Here comes the aeroplane for the little baby boy." Now, she never would have expected him to open his mouth and let her feed him. And the happy face he'd pulled as she did it made her realise "You love being coddled, don't you?"

A small nod of his head told her everything she needed to know, although he didn't seem like he wanted to admit it. He looked at her quizzically and she merely gave a shrug before continuing to feed him. The silence between them was comfortable, filled only with the occasional slurping or coughing sound.

As she placed the spoon back in the empty bowl, she suddenly felt a tug at the side of her shirt. Looking down, she noticed that Chewie had snuck into their space and was laying down beside them, resting his chin on Eddie's knee. She smiled and stroked behind his ears affectionately.

"Thank you," Eddie eventually said, joining in and stroking the dog's fur. She nodded absentmindedly in acknowledgement before placing the bowl down on the coffee table and stretching out on the couch next to him. She was about to close her eyes when he spoke again. "For taking care of me. And Wayne, I guess."

"It's nothing. You're my best friend, Eddie, and you know I'd do anything for you," she replied, her voice low and sincere. He knew they were best friends, but there was something about hearing it that made him feel lighter somehow. She didn't say it often, but when she did, it meant more than any amount of words could possibly express.

To her, Eddie was family. Family that she was fiercely loyal and protective of. Family she loved unconditionally. The least she could do was care for him, even if he was annoying and stubborn, and a little childish at times. He was her best friend, and she loved him dearly.

Speaking of people she loved, it was now time for Chewie's dinner. "I know you're comfy, but do you want your food? Dinner time?" she asked the dog, her voice a little higher than usual. She watched as he wagged his tail in excitement, ready for his food. "Let's go then. Lead the way."

Chewie ran so fast to the kitchen. He was such a little guy! But he was fast and agile and, with the promise of food, his energy seemed limitless. He bounded across the kitchen floor, barking loudly as he made his way straight to his food bowl and impatiently waited for her to prepare his meal. Yeah, her dog and her best friend had quite a few similarities. And, she loved them both.

"Hey, hey buddy, slow down," she lightheartedly chastised as she saw how quickly her puppy tried to scoff down the food that she brought to him, practically inhaling it in seconds. "Jesus fucking christ. Breathe a little, babe."

Returning to the sofa, Y/N felt Eddie lean against her shoulder as soon as she sat beside him and sighed contently. They stayed like that for a while; Eddie snuggling closer and melting into the comfort of Y/N's presence. He felt safe around her, which was always a plus. Her hand came up to fix the mess of his hair, gently removing the elastic band that he'd used as a hair tie and untangling the messy strands. She could hear his quiet intake of breath before he closed his eyes and let her run her fingers through his hair, combing out the tangles and making it somewhat presentable.

It felt nice. So soothing, in fact, that he didn't want it to stop. Soon, his locks were tangle free - it took longer than it should've - and he let her plait it for him as Chewie returned, contently sitting on Y/N's lap as she worked. She finished in no time at all and took one of her hair bands from her wrist, twirling the hair into a bun and securing it with a tie.

"There we go. So pretty," she cooed in his direction, earning a satisfied hum and a smile from him. Now that was done,she suggested, "Do you want to watch a video?"

As a matter of fact, she already had in mind a movie that she knew he'd really like, but she didn't want to push him if his headache was too bad. He hesitated, looking at the television sceptically before finally nodding.

Repo Man, a beautifully weird movie about cars and extraterrestrials - two things Eddie was a fan of, and it was just lucky that her dad had rented it just before her parents went on holiday and left her to dogsit.

Y/N sprawled out, lying back against the cushions and wasn't surprised when Chewie decided to awkwardly slot himself in the gap between her shoulder and the back cushion, falling asleep almost instantly. However, she was a little taken aback when Eddie snuggled up to her, crawling on top of her and resting his head on her chest.

"Your boobs are comfy." he whispered and she rolled her eyes playfully, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him closely. He sighed and rested his cheek against her clothed upper breast, watching the film in peace.

After a few minutes, he realised just how much he liked being here, and he couldn't help himself. He lifted his head off her chest and turned towards her with a questioning gaze. She smiled warmly and raised a brow, waiting for whatever he may have to say. He took a deep breath before slowly speaking, "I'm sorry if you get sick too now."

She shook her head, her hand coming up to brush a stray strand of his hair away from his eye as she murmured, "It's okay, big guy. If I get sick, you'll have to take care of me." He smiled slightly, a soft chuckle slipping past his lips. "I promise I'll be half as whiny as you."

Now was definitely the wrong time. Definitely. But, he was feeling woozy and a little out of it so he replied, "Okay. You could be double as whiny and I would still love you."

His heart skipped a beat at his own words. Oh god, what had come over him? But, the smile and slight blush that lit up her face was worth it. And when she pressed a kiss to his forehead, saying, "I love you too," he knew he hadn't imagined the butterflies in his stomach. At first he'd mistaken them for general being ill symptoms, but no, this was different, this was pure bliss. Pure joy. This was love.

Settling back down, he gave her collarbone a light peck and continued watching the movie, the heat of her body radiating comfortably against his. It didn't take long until he was drifting off, completely oblivious to the world around him. He didn't notice the way the corners of her lips curled upwards as she glanced down at him, her eyes softening at the sight of his peaceful expression.

Chewie was the first of the two to wake up, and because Chewie was awake, that meant he decided to stand and walk across Eddie's back. Despite the fact that the puppy barely weighed anything, Eddie woke up to the soft pitter patter of paws across the back of his shoulders. As he opened his eyes, he found the dog standing over him with an expectant look on his face. He groaned, not wanting to move, but he had to since Y/N needed to get out from under him. He pushed his upper body up onto his elbows and shifted to get off of Y/N, not really noticing the smile on her face as she watched him struggle to lift himself out of grogginess.

Kissing his temple as a silent apology, Y/N carefully removed herself from the indent they had made in the couch and lifted her annoying little pup to the ground before he started yapping. He immediately began running around, chasing his favourite chew toy.

When she looked over at Eddie again, she saw that he was rubbing his eyes, clearly trying to keep them open, and he looked utterly adorable with his bleary eyes and rumpled clothes. There was a small dusting of red on his cheeks as he yawned and stretched his limbs lazily, the blanket slipping off of his shoulders. His shirt had ridden up slightly, exposing the skin of his bare stomach and she couldn't help but find herself staring for just a second longer.

Eddie caught her and raised a brow, smiling sheepishly as he asked, "What's up?" She shook herself from the trance that she'd been in and looked away, trying to hide her embarrassed expression.

"Nothing, nothing. Just, uh... nothing."

"You don't sound very convincing," he pointed out, reaching out and grabbing her hand. She was trying hard to ignore the blush that was creeping onto her face, though it seemed like she was failing miserably.

Maybe she should give up on resisting the blush, and let her face naturally turn red, instead of trying to fight it. "You look very cute right now," she admitted shyly as Eddie's thumb caressed her knuckles. He grinned widely, his dimples making their appearance as his eyes shone in excitement.

"You don't look so bad yourself," he commented casually, his gaze trailing over her form appreciatively, especially when she bent down to throw Chewie's toy for him, causing the dog to chase it even more enthusiastically than before.

Playing fetch with her dog was exactly what Eddie needed. Not only did he feel better after sleeping peacefully, but also, he felt happy. Happy and content. Still sick, but he wasn't so grumpy about it now. And the smile on his face was contagious as it reached Y/N's own lips, mirroring his. "So," she spoke softly after chucking the toy into the next room so they'd have some time to speak, "How are you feeling now? Do you want anything?"

"Well..." He began thoughtfully, scratching the back of his neck as he searched for the right words. "My head is still hurting, and my throat feels kinda dry, but I don't feel sick or dizzy anymore."

"Want a drink?" Chewie was back by then, tail thumping against the floor happily as he strutted past Y/N to drop the toy at Eddie's feet.

"Yeah, sure. Water sounds good."

A few moments later, she returned with a tall glass full of water and handed it to him, grinning as he accepted the offered glass gratefully. After taking a sip, he asked, "How did the Hellfire boys take it?"

"Like champs." She brushed some hair from his cheek and placed it behind his ear. "Mike was a bit pissed, but when is that boy ever happy? Gareth, Jeff and Nate were as gracious as ever. Lucas had basketball anyway."

"And Henderson?"

She let out a chuckle. "Dustin was too busy having a great time making fun of us. Well, mostly me, but you were the cause."

"Me?" he repeated incredulously, laughing at her absurd statement. How could he be the cause? "I wasn't even there!"

"You weren't. Yet, it was all your fault!" she exclaimed, smacking him lightly in the arm with an amused smile. "If you weren't so... you, I wouldn't get teased for liking whatever this is." She gestured to his whole being as if that explained everything, because in a way, it did.

Earlier they had said that they loved each other, yet that could've been misconstrued as platonic in some lights. That statement was a little harder to dispute. "You like me." He stated plainly, looking intently at her with those big brown eyes as he waited for her reply.

For a moment, she simply stared at him. Then, without hesitation, she leaned forward and kissed him, one hand finding its way to cup his face. When they pulled apart, both blushing brightly, Eddie chuckled and jeered, "Good job on getting rid of all my doubt."

"Don't mention it," she jovially responded, tracing her finger across his jaw. "I'm definitely going to get sick too now."

Y/N definitely was going to get sick. Swapping saliva? Yeah, school was a no go tomorrow.

"Oh, I can't wait to hear how high pitched and girly your sneezes are," he mumbled, nuzzling his nose into the crook of her neck. She shuddered slightly at the ticklish sensation, giggling quietly as he nipped playfully at her skin.

"Shut up," she retorted, pushing him away, but he just laughed and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her flush against him as they snuggled together on the couch.

The level of comfort was through the roof.

"Can we just stay here forever?"

"As long as you want." She knew that what she said wasn't exactly true. Chewie would need to go up the garden soon. The sentiment was there.

Eddie squeezed her slightly, enjoying the closeness, as they lay there basking in each other's presence. Eventually, however, he felt himself begin to nod off once more, and it didn't take much persuading before he eventually fell asleep, cuddled tightly against Y/N, her scent enveloping him in an ethereal warmth that allowed him to drift off quickly.

"Achoo!" He woke up with a start and started tittering at the sound of her sneeze. She glared at him playfully, which caused him to laugh even more. "I hate you," she muttered as she buried his face back in her chest, wrapping her arms around him protectively.

"Nah, you love me."

Rolling her eyes, she replied teasingly, "Whatever helps you sleep at night." His response was muffled by her shirt, but she could still hear him say something along the lines of, 'You know you love it' with a dopey grin plastered on his face. There was no denying it. She couldn't even try.

#eddie munson & reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #Youtube

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xonepeacelovex · 2 years

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Hello! Can you make a scenario where Lee know bully’s you but actually likes you then you hurt yourself and he regrets it and can the reader not die🥹 if you do ty!

What if I told you I've fallen?

The doorbell rang but you pay no attention to it. You can't move, you don't have the energy to do so. Your body hurts and even little movements make your headache much worse. So you close your eyes, hoping that the delivery man will come back the next time you're better.

The doorbell rang again, you search for your phone, maybe it was your friends who came to visit you. But there's no message from Seungmin nor Hyunjin, they said they'll visit you after work with a promised dinner.

So who the hell is at your door in the middle of the day?

You got up from your bed with all your strength. It's about time to get some water and take your medicine. With the blanket around your face, without any care about how you'll look crazy, you opened the door.

Minho, the sole reason why are you in this state.

You coughed at his face, surprised and confused about why is he there. Frowning at him, you clearly said you are done with him. You'll not play his games anymore. It's been years since he started this beef with you. You don't know why he hates you so much. Is it because you became friends with his friends? The only reasonable explanation you can conclude is that he doesn't want you to be in his circle of friends. Cause it looks like he hated you since the start. But last night was the last straw, he made you wait in the middle of the rain.

"Why are you so pressed?" He said with a grin on his face, the umbrella covering him from the pouring rain.

"You made me wait for hours."

"It's not my fault. I don't have your phone number with me."

You know this routine, he'll put all the blame on you.

"Cause you refused to give your number to," he shrugs, "a stranger right?" He smiles, clearly enjoying this. Ugh. He's so annoying.

"You know what? If I'd known you are the one I'll be with today. I'll cancel everything. What was Changbin thinking this was a good idea?"

"Maybe that's why Changbin thinks this was a good idea."

"Well, it's not," shivering when a cold wind passed by. He observes you before walking a little close to where you at, "Why are you fuming? I'm doing you a favor here." The umbrella covers your head, but you are flustered with how close he is. Stepping back from him, he frowned at you.

Damn. Now you feel hot.

"I asked my friends to do this volunteering with me, not you."

"Well, your friends can't make it."

You sighed, maybe you'll do this some other time. It's raining hard.

"Just go home," you said before sneezing. You definitely will catch a cold. You started walking when Minho called you.

"Y/N..." You looked back, "Look Minho, this was supposed to be a good day with my friends."

"And I ruined it?" He said before you can even be finished what you'll say, "Because I'm the one who showed up?"

"The key word is friends. And we are not friends. We are far from that."

"Cause you don't want to be friends with me. I'm doing all I can to..."

"Oh please Minho. You are the one who hates me from the start. You know what? Let's stop this. We are not kids anymore to fight like this. If we don't want each other around then let's avoid each other. I'm so done having these arguments with you. Our friends are also tired of this for sure." You did not wait for whatever he'll say. Whether he agrees or not, you'll just avoid him.

You can't deal with this now. You are about to close your door when he stopped it with his foot.

"Ouch," he said, lifting it while hopping from the pain, you rolled your eyes, opening your door widely this time.

"What are you doing here?" He stopped hopping and stayed still, you noticed a plastic bag in his hand.

"Who's idea is this? Is it Chan?" Ready to call your friend to stop this.

"What? No."

"Seungmin? Why are they doing this?"

"Y/N," he sighs, "I'm here to say sorry."

You looked at him for a good second. You are really sick to hear such things. Are you hallucinating?

"I'm sorry Y/N. I did not mean to keep you waiting yesterday. I volunteered to accompany you because I thought maybe we can be closer if we spend time with each other." You just stared at him, processing everything. Minho? Saying sorry? Wanting to be closer to you? He sighs before continuing, "I don't hate you. I also don't want to be your friend." You scoffed at him, "Let me finish first. I don't want to be just your friend." Just a friend? What does it even mean? He took a deep breath, "What if I told you I've fallen?"

"Right? I think you bump your head somewhere. You are not making any sense right now."

He rolled his eyes at me, before shaking his head.

"Our friends are right. We are both dumb."

"Now, I am dumb?"

"No. I mean, I am dumb for getting your attention by annoying you, the densest person I know."

"Now, I am dense?"

He took a deep breath again, calming his nerves, "All the hints and you're just picking the bad things," Minho looked at me, "What I'm trying to say is, loudly and clearly, is that... "

And your whole world stops...

"I know it's such a childish act to tease you every time but I don't know how to even get your attention. I say things I did not mean because I'm so nervous around. Do things I normally would not because I don't know how to act around you. Just, it's not me when you're around. I'm a mess when I'm with you. Then Changbin suggested spending time with you, just the two of us and I agreed right away because it's you. I just want you to know the real Minho. The Minho who's not troublesome."

"Maybe bring me to the hospital right now. The fever is making me hallucinate things."

"Y/N," he walks towards you while you back away, "I- I..." he puts his hand on your forehead, "Never mind," he sighs before making accompanying you to your bedroom.

"Let's talk again once your fever is gone."

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trashyswitch · 1 year

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Dear Everyone:

⚠️TW: Talk of Mental Health & Suicide⚠️ (though I feel like I shouldn't need to put a trigger warning on this, because everyone should be talking about this.)

Why must the people who do so much in the world and make everyone the most happy...have to experience mental health struggles to the point of suicide?

What brought this on? Well...I found out that Stephen Boss, aka tWitch, had ended his life by suicide with a gun yesterday. He had a wife, he had kids, and he had close people who loved him and cared for him. He had so much going for him. He had been on So You Think You Can Dance, he was on The Ellen Show as the DJ & Dancer, and he had influenced millions to dance.

And yet...he still felt like he had to hide all the pain that was roaring inside his head. And on the morning of December 13, 2022, he finally listened to those thoughts and ended his life.

So below, I'm going to provide a long answer to the question a lot of people are wondering:

"Why didn't he get help if he was hurting so badly? There were so many resources available to him!"

You wanna know why he may have ended his life instead of getting help? It's likely because getting help takes months. Let me explain the process: There are two ways to get help.

from a doctor:

You decide to get help from a family doctor. Well, getting help from a family doctor could take weeks...and by then, you may not feel suicidal anymore, and may end up cancelling the appointment because "It's not a problem anymore". If you don't have a family doctor, then you have to go to the emergency room. And the only thing the emergency room does, is take you to a mental health unit and give you a momentary psychiatrist for your mental health.

From a Helpline:

Most suicidal people are required to call a helpline. There, you're expected to tell complete strangers about your suicidal ideation. If you say the certain answers that they're looking for, they'll either advise that you head to a mental health unit, or they'll send an ambulance over to you to take you to the nearest mental health unit. There, you are given a momentary psychiatrist and prescribed medication...and the process begins.

Once they start you on a mental health medication, they remove you from the mental health unit's doctor's care, and kick you out of the unit and into the real world a couple days later, before the medication even starts properly working... they expect you to stay alive for another few weeks until the meds start working. And then, the chances of meds working on the first try, is low. Almost no one gets the dose or the medication right on the first try. So every time the medication is upped, you have to wait another 4-6 weeks for THAT to kick in. Another higher dose, another 4-6 weeks. By the time some people feel better results from the help, it'll be 3-5 months later. On paper, it's not that bad. But to a suicidal person, that feels like years. And if the medication doesn't work, you have to either go back to the mental health unit, or find a psychiatrist yourself. And a surprising amount of psychiatrists are older and experienced, but only see your name and diagnosis rather than your personality and your face. And often, their choices are made based on those few words and specific words out of your explanation. And unfortunately, the person doesn't feel properly heard. But, the psychiatrist is the only one who can prescribe a new medication, so you go with the flow, listen to the psychiatrist, and end up being prescribed a new medication. And when you get taken off a medication and put onto a new pill, you can't just stop the medication cold turkey and start the new med right away. You have to slowly ween off the old med, before getting onto the new med. That alone, takes weeks. And your mental health worsens as withdrawl symptoms start. And then once you're on the new meds, those take another 4-6 weeks to start working. And that might not be enough...so they up the dose. Another 4-6 weeks for that to start working...up it again...4-6 weeks later, and it maybe starts working. On top of that, your parents are watching you suffer. They feel terrible seeing you like this, and they almost feel frustrated that your mental health issues aren't magically fixed. And the mental health help (depending on where you are) is draining your parents' wallets. And as the suicidal person, you can see how much your mental health issues are making them sad. How low on funds they're getting. Suicidal people notice all of that, and know it's their fault. So that only worsens the suicidal thoughts. And no matter how much the parents say 'We're okay' and 'don't worry about it', we know...And we can't possibly be convinced otherwise, because we've seen all the proof we need.

The point I'm getting at is...mental health issues are so hard to treat. It takes forever, and even after a year or 5 years of tackling these damn thoughts and fighting with medications...you wonder if it was even worth the constant waiting. Because...it seems like successful suicide has much quicker results than getting help does. And if it's unsuccessful, then you start the whole mental health unit experience, and start the trial and error with meds.

And yes, ending your life hurts the people close to you. But you know watching someone fade can sometimes be so much worse...

In death, you see a beloved influencer. In living, you see a progressively breaking individual. Some people prefer the broken individual...but not everyone does...

Plus...it seems like people listen to you more after you've ended your life...then they have when you were alive.

So...the reality is...some suicides are impulse choices. But...other suicides are thought out and prepared for...But no one truly knows who did what, because...the people who make those choices are not able to speak for themselves after death.

So...please consider this. And let's educate those without mental health issues, about the reality of 'Getting help". Because "Getting help"...is just a sentence with a neverending path.

#mental health #getting help #mental health help #psychology #suicidal thoughts

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pandoratheprocrasticreator · 9 months

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idk how to word this well but i feel like a lot of media critique is read as too personal to the author? obviously the intentions of the creator is important and the circumstances they made the thing in is important to discuss but i feel like that should be like. context. an explanation of why the story is like that but not a way to shut down further discussion.

like for example a lot of critique of tv shows is rebutted with "well the network cancelled it/forced it to keep going beyond its natural end/threw in a bunch of stuff to fuck up the creator's vision so it's not the writer's fault." and like. who was blaming the writers? yes maybe the network fucking with the creative team made the show turn out bad but that doesn't mean the show isn't still bad! it's just that now there's a conversation about network interference and how that affects the final product.

and i think outside factors that affect the story should be discussed!! i think networks are often unfair to its creatives hence why they're striking now. i think censorship is often limiting and prevents writers from telling the stories they want and (tumblr focuses more on this) having good representation. i think the identities of the creators and their beliefs and abilities have massive implications on a story and i think all of it should be discussed as the context the story was made in. i just don't think we should stop the discussion there. we still need to talk about what did and didn't work in the story itself.

when i say "the plot/rep/format of the story had X problem because it affected the story/audience interpretation of the story in X way" and someone says "well the writer's boss forced them to make the plot/rep/format like that," i think it's important to know as a part of media critique. but if they refuse to discuss my initial statement and just ends the discussion there because the problem wasn't caused by the writer, i don't find that interesting or useful to think about.

the only purpose of saying this and only this is to tell me that no, the creative team isn't at fault for this specific thing. i shouldn't get mad at these people that i will likely never meet whose only relationship i have with them is consuming their work. and like. you shouldn't harass people for writing bad stories regardless but if you need to be told that specific creators aren't to blame for a thing you disliked to stop you from doxxing them then that's one purpose of that.

but for that to be the only discussion point is ignoring the actual story. forgive me for assuming but i feel like most people would want to talk about the actual media when they do critique, not the personal/political drama involved in making the media. this is an online discussion about something published by strangers, not a writing workshop with your friends.

and i think talking about the problems that arise in a story because of outside influences can bring more awareness to those influences! if you say "the publisher told them to not make those two gay" and refuse to elaborate people just think "oh :( well i bet a hypothetical book where those two were gay would have been cool :)" if you say "these two have character arcs that would make more sense in X ways if they were gay but because the publisher told them not to make them gay it falls flat in X ways" people would think "holy shit! the publisher's prioritizing their homophobia over telling a good story! i hope next time they have a book like that they'll just let them be gay!"

pointing out exactly how outside influences hurt a story will show audiences not only how these factors fucked over the creatives career-wise, but also their own enjoyment of the story. most people won't affect the way creative teams of media they like are managed, but in the rare instance that they do, "it makes the story worse and therefore less profitable" is a better talking point than just "don't interfere with the writers because it'll make the writers sad."

basically if i point out a problem with a story and you reply "this problem was caused by X external factor," the next sentence should be "and here's how and why X external factor affected the story in these ways." it's shouldn't be "and you shouldn't blame the writers for it because it was someone else's fault." pointing out that capitalism and bigotry exists should not be the end of the conversation. you need to say something its effects on the story in tangible ways. otherwise the conversation has no value.

and i want to reiterate that i know a lot of limitations studios and publishers place on creators are frustrating to the creators themselves. it must feel horrible to see people be dissatisfied with your work, especially if some of the things they critique wasn't your fault. i cannot stress enough how much i dont think less of a creative team's skill unless i know for a fact that they chose to make something bad without any outside influences, which is incredibly rare. if i criticize something, i am not placing blame on anyone unless i outright say "i blame the writer/studio/publisher for this."

when i talk about my thoughts on a story, it's entirely for me. i'm not holding out hope that hollywood executives will see my opinions and tailor-make something for me so i'll stop complaining. i talk about and criticize media i like because it's fun. it's how i engage with media. i don't know the creators of 99% of the things i enjoy, and they will almost definitely never know me. while it's interesting to learn about the production process of a piece of media, even if i don't know who's "responsible" for a part of a story i don't like, i won't get angry at the creators for that. i don't connect the value of the writer to the value of the story in that way.

#shut up pandora #this is very long and very pretentious #media criticism #i guess #i guess its me criticizing how other people do media criticism #obviously do it in good faith #korra and asami couldnt smooch until the comics bc nickelodeon was homophobic #but the korrasami handhold was still monumental and should be applauded as such #but it wasnt able to have the full effect of the romantic happy ending bc of how subtle they had to make it. due to the homophobia #amphibias season 3a was slammed for not touching on the ramifications of all the traumatic stuff that happened in true colors #and this is because disney was such a prude that they wouldnt allow any deep exploration that mentions the girls getting hurt #but also because the writers massively overestimated how much they could get away with in a tv show of that rating #chalking things up to 'well it wasnt the writers fault so lets just take this subpar thing as it is and dont think about it too hard'#is never productive

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sleepy-achilles · 2 years

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Character study/analysis Billy Hargrove-

People call Billy racist yet Dacre confirmed his comments have nothing to do with Lucas race and that's the main reason why they removed the n word from the script, because billy had no reason to say it because it wasn't racially motivated.

Also yes his behaviour towards max is shitty but you have to remember he's being abused by his dad and he's protecting max from his abuse. But we also need to think about the amount of trouble Billy probably gets in if max misbehaves or isn't home or doing as told, which is probably why he's so mean to her. I mean we saw how his dad reacted when max ran off.

Dacre also confirmed Billy loves max, main reason he doesn't want lucas and max hanging out just because he sees him bothering his sister and doesn't like it at all. Think about it, he clearly doesn't let his father touch or hurt max, he ain't letting some middle schooler. When he said the line he could genuinely mean mean people, like his father, like him, I mean the only time he had saw Lucas at this time he had upset max and was bothering her.

So um for the people hating on people for liking Billy, maybe calm down abit and do some research and like stop dismissing his abuse just because he acts like a dick. There's a reason for his behaviour.

Also all the really terrible stuff Billy actually does is when under control of the mind flayer and even then we see multiple times he doesn't want to by the fact he cry. Almost every scene when he's with max or eleven he cries.

Also I don't care what anyone says, Billy's reaction at the Byers house was justified. His step sister was in a strangers house with a bunch of boys but also a adult male (Steve's what? 18? 19?) So yeah that is weird. Especially when Billy and Steve do not get on and Billy doesn't know any of them that well. I would too get angry if this happened, especially as Steve lies about it.

Also I notice that Billy can clearly fight and clearly win. I mean we see it with Steve, who yes hasn't really won a fight at that point but minor details, I mean he sure as hell throws the kids around and the stuff he does under the mind flayers control. But he never fights his father back. Showing he's scared of his father and that could be another reason he's a dick to max, out of fear of her having to witness it or being at the end of Neil rage. He could genuinely just want to protect her but be fucking terrible at showing it. He could also be angry about the fact Susan and max don't experience Neil's anger like he does, could be angry about the fact Susan just watches it happen. I mean he's definitely angry about his mum leaving, and Susan coming in with max, taking her place. Which is understandable. He's forced to grow up, he's forced to look after max, which he tells his father. He's watching her and she does things which he gets the blame for, which of course he'd be angry at her about.

Billy's 17 when he joins the show, a teenager, he has teenage emotions. Of course he'll be angry and angst filled. He has to look after his younger sister, cancel dates and social gatherings to go find her, basically live his life around her misbehaving and he gets punished for it, not her. People seem to forget this.

Spoilers for the new season up ahead-

And well he's dead now which you know, still praying for that to change on the 1st but knowing me, it won't.

I forgot totally about Mrs wheeler! Everyone blames Billy for that. She's a 40 something old women. He's 17. If it was a girl and a man you wouldn't be blaming the girl. Billy clearly has some form of daddy and mummy issues. He seeks female, especially older female validations and wheeler gives him that. People blaming Billy for that shit scare me. No way.

These are mostly just theories which i really like, so don't look too much into this part.

Max and Billy clearly love each other, Billy's dad truly just destroyed any chance they really had of being close, for someone who doesn't care or like Billy max is mourning him pretty hard. Especially when you think about the fact Billy's dad just up and left. I heavily believe the shirt max is wearing when she sees chrissy body is Billy's shirt. Also wonder if Billy made max those tapes or atleast the running up the hill one and that's why she's suddenly attached to her headphones and Walkman, he also might of never given it to her and when he died she found it, meaning it could just be Billy's. I mean his father clearly doesn't care so you can't convince me he sorted Billy's stuff out.

Running up that hill probably also reminds her of Billy. Which is why she's always listening to it.

She probably avoids lucas because of Billy aswell, think about it, Billy always told her to and she never did that before but does now? And the fact she willingly talks to Dustin kinda backs that for me.

Anyways that's my little analysis of Billy. I knew I was going to do this when I started watching season 2, so i made sure to pay attention to his character and the little things he does. Also rip Billy and rip Billy's car. Will be missed.

#stranger things #dacre montgomery #billy hargrove #max mayfield #lucas sinclair #neil hargrove #susan mayfield #character analysis #character study #this was kinda rushed #and written late #so if the grammar is bad im sorry #but i enjoy this

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alexzalben · 1 year

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Do you know what Netflix uses to decide whether or not to renewal shows? Fate the winx saga for instance, was on the top 10 of most watched for sometime and was cancelled. Anne with an E, very popular, and cancelled. I don't get it, if they don't care that many people are watching, or that a show is popular, what do they care about?

The short answer is: no, nobody actually knows how Netflix decides to renew or cancel shows because they don't share that information publicly.

The longer answer: based on showrunners/EPs who have talked about it, as well as generally looking at stats for canceled/renewed shows on Netflix, there have been a few things we've been able to surmise, though see above re: short answer. The two biggest factors we've heard about recently are viewership (of course), and completion rate. The latter seems far more important to Netflix at the current time - though that may only be in specific cases, or change, etc etc. The completion rate is how many people don't just watch a show, but actually finish watching it. To explain this a little further, according to Netflix's self-reported numbers this week The Crown Season 5 had 107,390,000 hours watched. Seems great, right? And it could be, but there are 10 hours of the season, and Netflix has over 223 million subscribers. So if every member watched half an hour and stopped, not so great. Obviously that's not what happened, but that gets to why the numbers they release don't paint close to the whole picture (and don't get me started about the on-site Top 10, which is nonsense).

Beyond that, there are multiple other factors we aren't privy to, from budget, to creative working relationships, to business working relationships, to whether it fits into the current Netflix strategy (maybe when they picked up a show that genre was hot; years later, maybe it's not), to simply whether there's a good plan for another season - showrunners will often have to pitch their next season for a show before it's officially picked up.

Social conversation can certainly factor into things as well, it's not a non-factor. But the two shows you mentioned definitely have a passionate fanbase; that didn't exactly translate into views at the same level of, say, Stranger Things. An unfair scale, I know, but it is what it is.

#fate the winx saga #anne with an e #netflix

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a-master-procrastinator · 2 years

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Shailla and Raen (Seven deadly sins OC asks) Lust 4, Pride 6, Wrath 3 and Sloth 3?

Aw, thank you :)

Lust - Does your oc judge other couples? If so why?

I don't think Shailla has time or desire to do that, so no. Raen, on the other hand, absolutely can judge other couples, usually to tease them (as a joke), but rarely it is serious judgement (like she did judge all the girls who fell for Skavak because seriously? that guy?).

Pride - What does your oc think their best trait is? Is it true?

Shailla... how do I pick one or two when she's a walking good trait.

She doesn't see herself any better than fellow Jedi - so every positive trait she has is present in the rest of the Jedi (as the result of training and lifestyle of the Order). Doesn't matter if it's true or not - it's what she believes.

Shailla thinks her best traits are self-discipline, compassion and willingness to help others. She barely got accepted into the Order because of problematic behavior and age, and she worked a lot to prove herself as a Jedi. From her perspective, everybody deserves help and another chance, and using Jedi training she can provide it. Then again, this is what, she believes, all Jedi are (and a lot of non-Jedi too), so it's nothing special to her.

I think this is where her best trait lies - infinite, unconditional belief in people. This is where a lot of her positive traits come from - compassion, patience, forgiveness, optimism, respectfulness, etc. (it's a long list so I'll stop here). Shailla always believes in the best in every person, even if they don't seem like it, even if they fail to show that, even if it's just a stranger. Of course, this also backfired multiple times and was used against her, which makes it difficult at times to sustain this belief, but that's exactly why I think it's her best trait - she doesn't lose it (well, she comes very close to it after Zakuul's victory, but that's another story and a part of her character journey).

So Shailla'assessment about her best trait isn't far from truth.

(I need to stop before I gush even more about her)

Raen believes that her best traits are ability to get along with different people and excellent sense of humor. And yes, she's good at both, but I would say her best trait is authenticity. Raen doesn't pretend to be something else - she is honest about her real self and acts as such. And again, a lot of her good traits come from this.

Quick thinking and keeping a cool head is high stress situations are also worth to mention here. Like when her ship got stolen - sure, Raen got frustrated and angry for a moment, but was able to keep calm and start looking for ways to find the ship. Seriously, even some Jedi would be jealous of this.

Wrath - Is your oc easy to disappoint? How so?

Shailla, as mentioned above, is very patient, so it would be very difficult to disappoint her. And really, why would you want to do that? Raen is easier to disappoint about smaller things, but she's surprisingly understanding about serious and important stuff. Not the exact amount of spice as her mother puts in Corellian food at the cantina? Raen won't rest until this is corrected, or at least given money back. A meeting with Theron she was planning for a couple of weeks is cancelled because of an emergency for SIS? Unpleasant but understandable, she'll try to schedule it for another day.

Sloth - How does your oc relax? Describe it.

Meditation is Shailla's most used way of relaxing. Solving puzzles (if she needs a break from physical activity) and simply taking a walk wherever she happens to be (if a break from mental activity is needed) as well.

When Raen needs to relax, she can take a nap, take a long nice shower (if available, bc it's not available on the ship), hit the nearest cantina and order some of her favorite drinks and foods or find a comfortable spot and watch some holos.

#this is all my brain could do. sorry #i overestimated myself when promised to do something productive. bad days are back #i'm so sorry i made you wait like a week for this #thank you again!#swtor #ask game #oc:shailla #oc:raen #the-raven-of-highever #legacy (verse): lette

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fumagus · 3 months

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Honestly in regard to last post, this is why I'm sometimes like "Don't even pirate it" even if I'm pro-piracy. I only save piracy for media that's literally difficult to find or not even available in my native language (especially talking about older anime before it went mainstream or 30-year-old games for the PS1 or SNES that have never been ported or translated), or is heavily censored (particularly the dumb shit they used to do with 4kids shows or with spongebob skipping episodes and scenes for overdone reasons), or is difficult to watch in one place (such as the Pokemon series, which is spread out across too many platforms to count, or, better yet, if you want to watch it subbed).

This is also why I want to tell people to not even pirate things made by nasty ideals such as being anti-Palestine, transphobic, antisemitic, anti-Black, and what have you. Or if you actually want to strike against the shows due to workplace abuse, anti-consumer-friendliness, or use of AI.

Because at the end of the day, these large platforms and their shows still win in away by taking your time away from smaller producers who may benefit from you watching their show instead of something heavily advertised by Netflix, even if you're still doing it for free. These companies care just as much about making money as much as they are trying to leave a cultural footprint. And pirating the most recent season of Stranger Things or the latest superhero movie, and then talking about it might as well be free advertising to them, in regards to others who don't know how to pirate, don't want to risk pirating, or already have a Netflix they don't care about cancelling. Even if these companies can and will stop pirates of their favorite shows and shit on their fans.

Even if you aren't paying these disgusting corporations with your money, you're still paying with your time.

So instead consider choosing to watch an obscure movie or TV show made by or featuring minorities vs a more popular one featuring or made by cishet, abled, white bigots or push tired tropes in regard to minorities.

Or choosing an obscure show or video game that's obviously a labor of love by a very small group of people vs a more popular, overfunded one that was either the product of crunch or AI to cut corners.

Or choosing a more obscure show and movie on youtube or game on Itchio that's free, if not consumer-friendly, to begin with vs more popular, overfunded media where you're only getting it for free by pirating it.

#marnie.txt #i get the whole piracy becoming more popular thing and that's it's a service issue #but sometimes i have to make this rant #this doesn't just have to do with companies who are anti-palestine #but also about getting people to not even hate-read harry potter to see how offensive they are to a modern lens #also why i didn't fully agree with the couple posts in the sonic fandom who still want to pirate knuckles even if paramount is pro-israel #i don't care if your favorite echidna if featured in a show whose parent company funds a genocide #if we don't talk about it maybe sega won't want to do business anymore with a company who funds a genocide #but after all the paramount sonic stuff is still pro-cop even if it's in a kinda passive way

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katsukikitten · 1 year

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Tell us how you’d be caustic to each other 👀

Aight Nonny 👀 you got it.

We'll start with Katsuki. Both of us have screaming matches sometimes, yelling at each other and nitpicking over the smallest fucking thing because we are both too prideful or independent or stupid to be able to express or take the time to analyze our feelings so we sometimes take it out on each other. Even times with physical altercations when out tempers get absolutely out of control. Each match ending in the infamous line of "Then fucking break up with me." Katsuki would then push me up against a wall and make out with me, hoping sex will fix the issue and angry sex normally does but it's not a long term fix. And maybe one day we both let slip, just to hurt the other or so caught up in our rage that it's true even for the fleeting moment "I don't love you anymore." Eventually Katsuki believes it doesn't go the route of angry sex. He'll start packing his shit and I won't say anything. Just sit on the couch and emotionally pull away. Thinking I'll be so fucking happy when the house is quiet and he's gone, sleeping on Kirishima's couch and he'd done it before, he'd wait til we both cool down before he comes home. He'd open the door and we both apologize the second we see each other.

But something is different about it this time, this time there is a finality to it and when he slams the door shut, the pictures of us rattling in their frames, I do what I always do and push it away until I can't stand to even sit with myself anymore.

Izuku would just take the rage and anger, just like he did growing up with Kaachan, the rage he can handle but the depression, well he doesn't know what the fuck to do. Izuku has tried everything, helping me find an outlet, exercise, taking me to appointments I always cancel. Literally trying to help me as best he can but you really can't save someone from their mental illness and it's a little difficult for him to wrap his head around some days. And soon he'll get tired of battling something he can never win, he'll place the blame on himself, he isn't good enough, can't make me happy enough, I deserve someone who can actually be my hero. He will slowly pull away and I'll notice, oh I'll notice and I'll pretend it doesn't hurt because it happens eventually with everyone anyway. I try to show less symptoms around him, to be more normal but it doesn't fix it and eventually we turn into strangers who happen to be roommates. He'll break up with me, he'll be gentle and he'll have even called some of my friends to show up after he leaves. He'll leave me the stuff he bought because I like it or still use it, he'll have paid everything for the rest of the lease and he'll reassure me that it was him and not me when I know damn well it was me.

Nagi would continue to choose video games over me and I would turn off the internet for attention and if he had a work around to that I'd cut the power cords to his shit. Eventually soccer will take over as a priority, I'll lie and say I'm fine with that until one day I just stop showing up to his matches all together, he's stopped looking for me in the crowd three games ago and to be honest he doesn't notice until someone else points out that I haven't been there for half the season.

Hakuji 😔 I would push this man away so many times. String him along if we weren't dating because I'd be so selfish with him, I don't want him to be with anyone else but I know I'm not the best match for him. That he deserves better and that someone else would really eat up his princess treatment that he gives his s/o. Eventually I'd just ghost him and it'd take him a minute to decide to let go and when I see him with a pretty girl that doesn't look anything like me or act anything like me, I'd be bitter as hell. She'd be soft and kind, gentle and the epitome of feminity and I'd myself that I was right, that I was never his type in the first place.

#kitten caustic selfships 🖤🐈‍⬛

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therabbitsmuse · 2 years

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I really need to buckle down and get a part-time contract role for next year. Summer's basically over and I got almost nowhere with my portfolio. This past week would've been the perfect opportunity to knock that shit out because everyone was on vacation but it was like I got hit with a dose of inattention and apathy. I need to stop dragging this shit out because it's only going to get worse the longer I put it off.

I finally started drawing in my sketchbook again! They're really just basic doodles with no meaning or rhyme to them but I loved it. There wasn't this usual pressure I put on myself to have to 'improve' or create something 'worthwhile'. I think maybe the next step is to make it a daily 15-20 minute doodling session every day and see what comes out of it. I've had this sketchbook for over two years and I really should finish it up this year!

I've been really inspired by VSCO lately! It's made me fall in love with everything around me -- seeking out those little moments during my walks to mundane tasks, like buying groceries or dropping off my mail. I never feel bad about myself, even if I scroll VSCO for a long time. Contrary to Instagram...

Instagram feels like the LinkedIn of social media to me lol. People add each other to up their follower count, even if they've never each other or only met once. Everyone strives for posting their best selves, the highlight reels. Even stories or anything that's behind the scenes is still curated to some extent. I see a sea of strangers online all the time but don't feel any closer to them, even if we've been following each other for years. But I've found that in larger cities, people really take your social worth into account, even if it's unspoken. It makes me wonder, maybe it wouldn't hurt if I did a bit of upkeep now and then. But even that feels performative because I wouldn't have bothered if it wasn't for moving.

Indie pop has been the shit, it's gotten me out of this music rut I've been in for so long. Weirdly enough, I'm going to a techno show tonight, haha. I'm not too excited about it but I had promised to go with a friend two months ago and now that the moment is here, I wish for nothing more than for it to get canceled LOL.

I want to start a blog. (Talk about the resurgence of the early 00's). But I have no idea what it'd be about, what I would write about. When it comes to pictures, I know what I want to post (just not on IG LOL). But I never what to write. Choosing a niche makes me feel a little cornered as well. I thought maybe doing short vlogs, like 'A day in the life of...' would give me more freedom. But I still find myself drawn to the good, ol' fashioned medium of words and photos. I guess this Tumblr is a bit like that for me but I want something I could actually put a link out in public. Nobody needs to connect these messy thoughts to me LOL

I never thought I'd get closure after almost 1.5 years but it looks like it's happening.

Sometimes I can't believe I'm this far away from my family. With friends, it doesn't feel THAT big of a deal since we'll text, call, and facetime. My family isn't big on those and honestly, they don't say much in person either. But being there in the same room, even if only two words are exchanged, are worth a lot more than our group chats.

I bought my second luxury perfume this summer. Instead of saving it for special occasions, I've been wearing it every day and it makes me so happy. One, I know personally I get tired of scents very easily so I should probably get as much out of it now as I can haha. Two, it's still gonna take me a long ass time to get through the bottle. I don't think I'll find another summery scent that I love as much as this one anytime soon (I hope! I def don't need to be buying another perfume anytime soon lmao)

I noticed I have more energy to do things when I feel like there's the presence of someone else in the room. Lmao that makes it sound like I'm talking about a ghost. But nah, I just meant cozy vlogs where someone is talking while I do the chores. Facetiming Jeff while he and I are doing our own separate chores and sometimes will converge to talk about something random before going off again. Doing work alone in a cafe. I need to incorporate more moments like that into my life. I love wfh, the freedom it's granted me, and not having to do the bullshit sitting in office even if I have nothing to do all day long. But when it's just me all day long, it gets a little too much. I love myself more than I have in prior years but still lol, being alone with just me all the time is tiring.

#10 thoughts #musings #thoughts #excerpt from a book i'll never write #journal #brain dump #happy weekend!#words

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baekhvuns · 2 years

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So many people cancelled me but I said what I said BWY is better though I dislike ballads jduwjeheh but it sounds like a musical piece so I like it, but I barely listen to sad tracks anyways. Now tell me your top 5 Ateez titles and top 5 Ateez b-sides I can't remember if we spoke about it, but I demand to know 👀

Mean but subtle simp vs cocky annoying simp who would win??? I'll take both thanxxxx

And when Seonghwa says he watched Tomorrow it'll be our downfall because Jongho watched it?! Hwa likes lovey dovey stuff, but I hope he sees it one day and notices his long lost brother https://twitter.com/atothebeatz/status/1529657461757591555?t=8wFUjoggmOGUd4fIdwYFBA&s=19

Anyways...👁👄👁 people need to stop doing this to us

How is Bodyguard doing???

The Wonderwall shoot looks Stranger Things inspired, boys gonna fight a Demogorgon soon lmao, but they look cute. Not gonna make me buy more of the merch but nice try! My Hwa robe arrived and it's very soft and the perfect size for me. The turtle pc is so cute I cried 😭 my flatmate got one for herself as well and I snatched the other pc <3 my cats love it too they're obsessed with robes

My sign? Lmao you can guess, good luck bestie

I'm having strong Wave era Hwa feelings idk what happened to me... maybe it's the summertime getting to me? Someone told me they didn't like his Wave and ashy hair and I got so mad 💀 did you see the photoshoot voting on Universe, WAVE WOOOOOOON whatever that means, lmao but 🌊🌊🌊🌊

I don't know how I didn't notice?! I looked at his L E G S then at Wooyoung and San and their bucket hats I THOUGHT SEONGHWA WAS WEARING A SHIRT I mean THREE SHIRTS lololol I just didn't look closely

I actually printed a duplicate of one polaroid I own just to see how it looked like. Photos and photocards printing yes, for myself and for future trades/sells because the comeback is near, gotta be prepared. 🤗

So I definitely saw this photo before but I feel like it's bery rare and it's giving me certain VIBES I can't explain. Kinda looks like a school uniform, and he has this rich boy aura 🥴https://i.pinimg.com/236x/d3/25/27/d32527bccaea4e02e09f6b1ed97dc33c.jpg

THERE'S MORE I'M GONNA D-WORD :////https://twitter.com/PSHsource/status/1530084716002549760?t=nATfKJvFwl7I4SGQ5fCPOg&s=19

Hwa quizzes because wtf not

https://uquiz.com/quiz/wPHpYO?p=2439071 - uffff he loves me I'm lucky 😭

And a wholesome one

https://uquiz.com/quiz/61Vp59?p=2086604 - you shine brighter than any star - aw got the least popular result, my not like other girls image is maintained! - DV 💖

hi hello!!

CANCELING U 🔫🔫 omg okay for top 5 title tracks : say my name, inception, wave, wonderland & treasure jvsck

top 5 b-sides : utopia, dazzling light, rocky, fever & promise! but cresent is extra entry bc <33 so so pretty <3 tell me yours!!!!

Mean but subtle simp vs cocky annoying simp who would win??? I'll take both thanxxxx

LMFAOOOO U WANT IT ALL IN??? 😭😭😭 this gonna be a series now 😭😭😭😭

IF SEONGHWA DOESNT FUCKING ST HIS ASS DOWN AND WATCH THAT SHOW I GIVE UP ON HIM,,, u send the edit for what exactly. what good dO yOU GET FROM THIS. FOR WHAT. WHAT. WHAT WHAT. the times i replayed the edit..embarrassing fbwmfjwk

How is Bodyguard doing???

HRMWHDKW ITS @ 10k RN IM HOPING FOR 15K BY THE END OF THIS WEEK but i think it’s a little rushed 😭😭😭 so i need to kind of add moments jvck they’re good friends sLOWLY PROCEEDING towards the good part <3

YES IT RLY DOES !!! LMFAOOOO GBEMFBDK HWA WOULD BE SO HAPPY,,, HEY U KNOW THE MERCH IS RLY PRETTY 👁👁 omg omg IS IT 😭😭😭 PLS I SAW THIS TWT WHERE THE ROBE IS A DRESS ON A ATINY AND THE ROBE ON HWA IS TO HIS KNEES AND SOMETHING IN MY BUSTED 😭😭😭 LMFAOOOO AS U MF SHOULD SNATCH SNATCH DBWNDBEN omg i forgot about ur cats how are they 😭😭😭

My sign? Lmao you can guess, good luck bestie

I DONT LIKE THIS ARE U A VIRGO OR A AAAAAAAAA PISCES OR CAPRICORN

no bc me too,, the blond is coming back and it arouses dilf hwa in me,,,,, BRUH ????? HOW CAN THEY NOT TF WTF??? ASHY HAIR IS LITERALLY SO GODAMN HOT,,, BRWKDJWK I DID IM SUS ABT THE VOTING PERHAPS BC OF THE PTSD FROM THE VOTINGS FOR SONGS 😭😭😭

I don't know how I didn't notice?! I looked at his L E G S then at Wooyoung and San and their bucket hats I THOUGHT SEONGHWA WAS WEARING A SHIRT I mean THREE SHIRTS lololol I just didn't look closely

L E G S FBWNDBEN that photoshoot rly superior it made hwa fuckboy era start truly

AAAAAA HOW EXCITING TO PRINT AND PACK OMFF i would pay $50 to see the entire process 🤲🏼 how many have u printed?? and did the pola look nice and genuine 👁

LIKE RICH BOY UNIFORM CEO SON WHOS AT AN ACADEMY BULLYING THE SCHOLARSHIP STUDENT GBWMNFWKBDKW 😭😭😩😩😩 i saved it.

THERE'S MORE I'M GONNA D-WORD :////https://twitter.com/PSHsource/status/1530084716002549760?t=nATfKJvFwl7I4SGQ5fCPOg&s=19

PLS I SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF U DBSJDHSK UR GONNA HAVE TO GET IT BESTIE if u by any chance have an extra one u know <3 ✨☺️

Hwa quizzes because wtf not https://uquiz.com/quiz/wPHpYO?p=2439071 - uffff he loves me I'm lucky 😭

NOT LIKELY NOT RHWKHFWK NAURRRRRRRRRE MY DELULU FBDBDB

And a wholesome one https://uquiz.com/quiz/61Vp59?p=2086604 - you shine brighter than any star - aw got the least popular result, my not like other girls image is maintained! - DV 💖

LMFAOOOO THE “baby look at me! this is not u! pls!”

take these !!

https://uquiz.com/quiz/DlVmXD/what-romance-trope-are-you

https://uquiz.com/quiz/XmfKXC/pick-men-i-like-and-ill-tell-you-how-fucked-up-you-are

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

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