forgot to post this here earlier, but i did this for tyler's end of era post.
•
"and that concludes ψ"
•
another book on the shelf. a story, that started years ago, still going. not all of us we're here since chapter 1, but no matter where we started, these pages still feel like home.
Hey can anyone help me, I’m trying to remember the book that the drawing of Trash on the cover of SAI is from? It’s a really old one and I think it’s a children’s book? It also had themes of a conflict between Protestantism and Catholicism or something along those lines too. Also fairies are involved I think? And a lady? Someone help me out here, I really wanna look more into it.
As promised last Sunday, it is time for me to ramble about the TØP Cinema Experience!!!
For the sake of those who have not seen it and do not want spoilers, I'm adding the lovely read more button <3
ALRIGHTY EVERYONE!
If you did not catch the memo or have not seen my last Sunday Movie Report post, I am a huge Twenty One Pilots fan. When I found out that they were taking the Livestream Experience to the big screen, I absolutely freaked out. I saw the livestream, and the entire fandom has been pleading to see it again. (Or to own a legal copy, for those who had screen recordings of the stream).
On Thursday, I went to go see it in theatres (sadly not the local one, too small, had to drive 30 minutes to the nearest one). I was super excited and nervous, as this was:
1. My first in-person TØP event.
2. My first time going to a movie alone.
However, it went well, no chaos or bad happenings.
Now, onto the movie itself!
The original announcement said they were taking the livestream to the big screen, remastering it, and adding 20 minutes of extra footage. People seemed to be pretty curious about what this "extra footage" was.
It turned out to be behind-the-scenes footage! Now, not all of the BTS footage they showed was entirely new, but I'm fairly sure there was more that 20 minutes of that footage scattered throughout the movie. Those BTS sections usually happened before the "ad breaks" from the Good Day DEMA hosts. I'm pretty sure there was an exception, that being before the all-too-remembered creepy scene of them in the dark. The "Why do I kneel to these concepts?" speech.
(please let me know if I'm misremembering that!)
The BTS scenes had an order, there being 4 sections of it.
1. On set, 10 days before the livestream.
2. On set, 3 days before the livestream. There was Tyler learning proper choreography for the first time, and joking that his family's vacation music videos prepared him for it.
3. Their first shows in 2011, with tyler talking about how they said they'd "never do a livestream show".
4. On set, Dress Rehearsal. Josh's dog was there!!!
ROSIE WAS ALSO IN ONE OF THEM WEARING A MINI BISHOPS CLOAK AND IT WAS SO CUTE I ALMOST CRIED.
The only other major change from the livestream was some before-show trivia, some being easy and others being not-so-easy. No, I didn't remember the number of tracks on Scaled and Icy. Sue me.
My only (very minor) complaint is a whoopsie during Shy Away, when he goes:
" When you get home, You better not be there! "
Tyler one or the other you can't have both. /lh
I noticed it during the stream and I was hoping they'd be able to fix it, but oh well.
Overall, very great experience. The sound was loud but in a way that didn't hurt my brain. The footage was much better on a large screen rather than my lil laptop. The hosts continued to be concerningly happy until their inevitable breakdown.
I'll never know if it was an accidental OD or intentional suicide or what... I was lucky a friend of his was kind enough to tell me that he died. I was too afraid to ask anymore of a stranger. It had been weeks or months of inactivity before I was told. My suspicions were confirmed. Utterly shocked.
That's what happens with long-distance internet friends sometimes. He fucking died just months before my dad's series of medical events that put him into vascular dementia. Now It's been 7 years.
He felt like a soul friend sometimes. So much fun little things in common, coincidences, sadnesses. He got me into TØP, which I can't bring myself to listen to anymore. 🫤 It's not the same without his joy about new songs.
He was the sweetest person. I wish he'd have been able to make his trip here to visit his friend or s/o. My mom and me would've tried to make the trip a few states over to at least say hello give him a hug. He had new yellow suitcase and everything. 😢 It's still unbelievable.
He even liked me enough to tell me his 'dead name'. I forgot it, because Niko was who I knew.🤷🏻♂️ But I realized it was a very special trusting thing.
This will never not bother me. It haunts me.
He was always open to talking about being trans, transitioning, and taught me a lot. He cleared a lot of purely innocent misconceptions and ignorance about being trans that I had.
And My dad, who was probably 75ish when I started talking to Niko. My dad had a meager education in 1940s Europe. He was still very accepting and interested in his life, his safety. And was even hurt when I told my dad Niko had been bullied at school like me growing up. Even before his realization that he was transgender. He had a stutter and was smaller than the other kids. That really bothered my dad.
And my mom always asked about him. She always feels motherly for my friends. But Niko had some less than perfect relationship with his mom. And my mom felt heartbroken by that.
So I felt like Niko made a difference for our family just being an open book and a sweetheart. I wish I had the chance to have long in person talks with him one day and share more pictures of our families. Sadly, that'll never come. And I've already forgotten a lot of our texts and things.
He left a hole in my life right when things got incredibly difficult and dark and painful in a lot of horrible ways.
I had support, but he had a special sort of way about him. As shy and anxious as he was, he was a social butterfly through our penpal friendship.
He had his top surgery. He had to wait almost a year. We were so happy.
He sent me this nice picture of him smiling at the hospital with the sun's rays flowing in onto him. It's almost like a dream now.
I guess if there's an afterlife, my dad and uncle are looking out for him from any bullies. And Niko has the body he was meant to all along.
But I often wonder if the difficulties with acceptance didn't contribute to his death through medicating himself. Again, I'll never know. But his death was unnecessary in my eyes even if I didn't have the full story. Because not being unconditionally loved and accepted kills people too. Not being concerned in healthy, helpful ways kills people, too.
But I think he should be remembered today too because he contributed to the change he wanted in the world by being who he was to me, and I would also learn how he was to many other people.
At least I know he changed my world and my parents' world. He is why we don't just accept transpeople in a closeted backseat way.
He is why I am openly vocal for acceptance and caring about transpeople, being their friends. And protecting transgender people.
youtube
It was such a strange coincidence again that his favorite band TØP would make a song with his namesake just 2-3 years after he died. It was poetic and sad.
There's so many reasons why I love Y/N. Her soft (Y/H/C) hair her beautiful
(Y/E/C) eyes, her radiant smile. She's perfect.
Especially when I wake up next to her. I look at her from my side of the bed, my left arm still under her from snuggling last night, but her back is now turned to me.
I examine her every detail, the way her hair is slightly frizzy from sleeping. The way her back is curved perfectly and comfortably on the bed. She's beautiful.
I pick myself up a tiny bit to where I'm leaning on my elbow and I look at her face from the side. Her eyes are closed and her mouth is gaped slightly. She looks so peaceful.
I carefully wrap myself around her, hoping to not wake her. I wrap my right arm around her frame. My chest pressed against her back, allowing me be able to level my breathing with hers.
I lean my head on her shoulder, our cheeks touching. Her body heat radiates from her, which only brings a smile to my face.
I kiss her on the cheek slightly, and then on the shoulder. She starts to stir a little so I lift my head, freezing in place as if that'll help her not wake.
She looks so peaceful.
She takes a deep breath, which helps me realize she's waking up. I smile slightly, before pressing her closer with my arm.
"Mm, good morning." She says, blinking her eyes open and smiling. I give her a big cheeky grin, as I stare down at her.
"Good morning, love." I whisper, bringing my face closer to kiss her.
She kisses before quickly pulling away and putting her hand to her mouth.
"I have to brush my teeth. My breath probably stinks." She sighs, and I chuckle a bit.
"I don't mind,” I mutter, “I probably should too." I reply. I hesitantly let her go.
She gives me a little smile before slipping out of the sheets and walking into the bathroom across from the bed.
I watch as she tiredly climbs out, her panties showing ever so slightly before she grabs my shirt, that she decided to wear to bed, and pulls them down to cover them.
I smile to myself, as she walks into the bathroom across from the bed.
••• This was my first ever short story. They get better I promise •••
so, as everyone knows, ned's cozy fireplace had an ad that used morse code. here is that ad and a visual.
please let me know who to credit as the owner of the screen recording
and because nobody i know has any idea what to make of "BOOKS" -- and they have tried -- here's a look at books as they appear in tøp's body of work. just for the hell of it.
here we go!
2016: the cancer cover.
in the cancer music video, a person narrates their own impending death from cancer, and it's accompanied by an explosion books bursting out of a bookshelf. these green circles are just highlighting that this music video also included repeat book designs, like ned's cozy fireplace does.
that video and this one are by the same animator and designer, chris schoenman, who presumably didn't want to make like nine million different books. (but there could be more than one reason.)
the speaker in this song is consuming this media; there's a couple books on his coffee table.
our speaker is writing their own story with their descriptions and instructions to their family as the video goes on.
among the this person's collection of stories are some twenty one pilots songs. we'll see this later too.
2016. heathens.
these drawings on the wall are not books, but they are related to books, as we will see in just a moment. it's reasonable to say these drawings represent something this character feels or thinks about, in some cases over and over.
nico and the niners, 2018.
next, we have tyler/clancy in nico and the niners packing his backpack. we don't see him physically put this red pamphlet/book in his backpack, but given that the scene starts with a bed covered in stuff, shows him packing, and then shows a bed with nothing on it, we can assume the pamphlet got put in too.
the backpack is left for the kids to find along with the bandito clothes.
we know from The Outside that the kids keep the bandito clothes and presumably the backpack with its contents, including the red pamphlet/book.
the leave the city visuals also make a point to show a backpack left behind.
speaking of leave the city visuals:
these visuals fade from trench as a real place to drawings on the bedroom wall in dema.
like heathens, we can assume these drawings depict something that the person who drew them thinks about. because we recognize what's shown, we know they reflect what clancy knows or believes about his world: the figure of the vulture, the neon gravestones, the cage from hoty, the tree from trees and so on.
next:
2021. the vialism pamphlet, released at the same time as choker. it reads "to live fully is to sacrifice all". this is important because it's the first and only time we know what one of these pieces of media the character is consuming is explicitly telling us.
the black pamphlet is a visual parallel for what josh is reading in choker.
2021. christmas saves the year.
we see here that santa also has drawings on his wall. and -- like the speaker in cancer -- is taking in media that includes twenty one pilots stories.
santa's drawings include things he observes in his world (the snowmen, the noodly skeleton and alien keys) and things he believes -- or at least speculates about (the radiant cosmic rays that defeat the snowmen).
this csty video is actually deep af, and i spent six long weeks making a vid on what i think is happening here if you want to watch it. be gentle. i'm doing my best.
these drawings on the wall are a parallel to the drawings on the wall in other places in that they show things the artist thinks or believes about the world they live in.
2022. tyler owns at least two books. they're right there.
2023: ned's cozy fireplace.
lastly, here's some of those same dema-and-trench drawings on the wall in ned's home, looping him firmly into those shared concepts about the neon gravestones, compass E, etc, and a written continuation of The Outside in the form of a letter.
and that's that on that for books in the history of tøp. i think this has absolutely jack to do with why the morse code says BOOKS, but it seemed neglectful not to at least review the topic and see what we can see. what i see: some as-yet-undefined significance in what we take in and how it informs how we understand our world.
fun little fact: the bourbaki group play a foundational role in modern mathematics and it's likely that some of your school textbooks cited bourbaki in the back of the book. so we've all consumed bourbaki book content at some point.
hi!!!!!!! my name is Mars, but I like being called Cal online. Mars works too though.
my pronouns are he/they/it/neos, I am a non-binary trans boy.
minor, not revealing age! 18+ can interact with me, but do NOT flirt with me. actually nobody flirt with me. I'm aroace and it makes me uncomfortable. attending school at click academy.
autistic + ADHD + OCD + anxiety. be nice. 🥺
i am an artist! I sketch on paper, do digital art on my iporb, sculpt stuff out of clay, and other things too!!
i also make lil videos sometimes! I post them here cuz I don't really like tiktok.
fav bands: Fall Out Boy + Gorillaz
other bands: tøp, MCR, P!ATD, Green Day
shows: SVTFOE, TOH, Gravity Falls, Amphibia, Adventure Time (sorta), Pokemon, ATLA + TLOK, PJO tv show
Name(s): Jonathan, Joy (I will also go by literally any J name, try me bestie)
Orientation: omnisexual
Gender: pangender genderflux, I also identify as nonbinary and aerogender (got a problem with how many labels? Fuck off)
Pronouns: all
Neurodivergent: yes (OCD, most probably auDHD)
age: 17
Location: Poland
Fandoms: marauders era mainly, also the lunar chronicles, the good place, grishaverse (haven't read king of scars yet tho), the cruel prince, some musicals (mainly Hamilton), DDLC, FNAF (I haven't played the games but I do really like the lore and songs), WTNV, AGGGTM, TØP apparently
Fandoms I have knowledge on but am not in: Hermitcraft, some twitch stuff (mainly all from this one bestie of mine), inazuma 11 (from the same bestie), TMA (you guessed it, from the bestie)
Moreover, I'm the head scriptwriter for a new and upcoming animated show, "Faded"! If you'd like to know more, check out @fadedanimated
I'm also a band kid, I write songs and plays and stories and I'm working on a book ^^
Hobbies: writing, reading, cello, writing my own songs, D&D
Fav musicians: TØP, the oh hellos, the amazing devil, tally hall, will wood, lemon demon, fish in a birdcage, occasionally P!ATD, but like... just the music, and not all of it
trench began on an overcast july day - i was on my way to work at a summer camp the day the notifications came in. i was so so excited to listen to the new songs. i unfortunately had absolutely zero cell service out in the middle of the woods (shocker). but my friend had a connection to the internet - and twenty one pilots - so we listened to jumpsuit and nico & the niners as many times as possible on our 15 minute break.
later, bandito tour tickets dropped, and i remember asking my parents to buy them for me as i'd be at work at that same summer camp. i was entranced by the singles and couldn't wait to see them on tour again.
when i learned that i got tickets - and lower bowl seats at that - i was ecstatic. october couldn't come fast enough.
fast-forward to the first week of october, 2018, and the leaks happened. i didn't listen to them but i was a little afraid of tyler that day. i thought he was mad at me.
but then the album dropped and i was addicted. my first favorite song off the album was the hype (currently, though, it's natn), and i had a countdown in my school agenda book to the show.
that show was not my favorite for reasons i won't get into here - but i still find myself reaching for that album at least once a week these days, maybe even every day ask we move into autumn. jumpsuit still hits even five years later. the whole tracklist, really.
and even though sometime in 2019 i fell out of my tøp obsession, i still went back to this album from time to time. in trench i'm not alone, right?
and now here we are in 2023, awaiting the next new album cycle. hopefully it'll be just as joyous and magical as trench was, as scaled and icy was, as they all have been. here's to trench.