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bitcofun · 2 years

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This is a viewpoint editorial by Ram, a twenty years of age trainee, soldier and writer. Imagine this: Your child lady is adjusting her laptop computer, and she's screaming, "Wow!" and "Oh!" You question what's going on. Is it an animation? Is it anime? Why's she so thrilled? As I, a twenty years of age, compose this in Singapore, about 15,000 active Bitcoin nodes are approximated to be running all over the world. These nodes keep the Bitcoin database in part/in its totality. With 15,000 computer systems saving the very same database all over the world, consistently transferring brand-new deals and brand-new blocks to one another, it's virtually difficult for any one gamer to pop by and alter the record of what occurred. But when speaking about Bitcoin's future as a decentralized currency, Elon Musk stated this: I concur with Elon. Let me clarify. Elon was describing a confirming node, which is rather basic to establish. Mining nodes and recognition nodes serve various functions (TLDR: mining nodes take in electrical energy to produce "blocks" of information, confirming nodes examine whether the details in those blocks is precise. Nowadays, mining nodes are called miners, whereas verifying nodes are just called nodes.) Both add to decentralization. Setting up a recognition node will not burn your home down due to high electrical energy use. It's really simple and needs no technical proficiency. In truth, it costs simply ~10 cents each day from electrical energy. At the minute, you require less than 7GB of storage area to establish a pruned recognition node (in which you hold just part of the Bitcoin deal database, however still add to decentralization). Unfortunately, the typical individual is not familiar with the above. Nevertheless, Bitcoin stays the most decentralized cryptocurrency in the world 15,000 nodes in the context of a cryptocurrency is excellent, and evidence of Bitcoin's decentralization was shown throughout the blocksize wars. But let's frame the context in a different way. Over 5,000,000,000 individuals have access to the web today. All of a sudden, 15,000 nodes look small. A lot more than 15,000 folks most likely have computer systems with 7GB to spare. Numerous might even have an old laptop computer being in the garage! For Bitcoin to get larger and faster adoption progressing, its decentralization should be continuously stressed. One method to do this is by motivating routine folks to run Bitcoin confirming nodes. We aren't talking enough about this today. Achieving This Via Node UI And UX Improvements Even in exchanges and payment apps, UI and UX are perhaps being sidelined When it pertains to nodes, the UI and UX conversation is almost non-existent. Remember: the greatest business worldwide today got to where it is by non-stop concentrating on UI and UX. That business's market cap is presently about 6 times larger than Bitcoin's. Image from Apple, 1998; Sourced from CNET Bitcoin may not be a business, however the very same concept uses. It comes down to making things more user-friendly. When it pertains to establishing a confirming node, make things easier. And easier. And easier. Setting Up Bitcoin Core need to seem like setting up a chrome extension. Or an app from Google Play. And unexpectedly, we'll have individuals understanding: "Hey, this node thingy is in fact extremely basic!" Let me clarify: establishing a verifying node is currently easy. Simpleness and viewed simpleness are various things. Today, viewed simpleness needs effortlessness. Next, let's speak about how running a confirming node ought to feel. Take block explorer sites. Technically, any of this information can be discovered on any complete confirming node. It's simply less user-friendly and needs some technical understanding. The average Joe will not get that understanding. So, enhance the UI and UX. Superimpose the block explorer sites' user interface on top of the node program. Take it an action even more.

Let users see the number of nodes they're sending information to, the number of blocks they've assisted verify so far, any short-term chain divides. Easier. More interactive. And yet uncomplicated. I'm sure there'll be a lot of concepts on developing an enjoyable UI and UX based upon the blockchain. And UI and UX aren't simply essential for increased decentralization. They can alter the very way in which individuals enter into Bitcoin. For illustration's sake, here's what I picture the normal path of somebody who enters into Bitcoin: Hears about cryptocurrencies as a method to make fiat → enters altcoins → enters Bitcoin → thinking about Bitcoin → decreases the bunny hole → thinks in Bitcoin → establish a verifying node. This path is simply among numerous. Here's my point: many of the time, setting up a node occurs rather late Here's what an enhanced and user-friendly node UI and UX might alter that path into: Hears about cryptocurrencies as a method to make fiat → chooses to set up a Bitcoin verifying node to get a taste of crypto's worth proposal → finds out through communicating with the blockchain → perhaps even has a good time → thinking about Bitcoin → thinks in Bitcoin → informs more folks to set up a confirming node → spreads out word; procedure loops. A confirming node is an open invite from Bitcoin to brand-new folks, that demands absolutely no risk-taking. UI and UX enhancements will market it. They'll propagate discovering by means of communicating with the Bitcoin network. Education will come directly from the blockchain. Videos and posts, after all, can just do so much! Here are a couple more UI and UX advantages: It draws in non-technical folks to Bitcoin. Yes, Bitcoin is the most decentralized cryptocurrency in the world. The folks running confirming nodes are still a minimal set mainly drawn from tech and financing neighborhoods. Let's bring over folks from other neighborhoods, too. An instant idea is NFT designers transitioning to dealing with Bitcoin's UI and UX. They minimize the fundamental dangers from central block explorer sites. This would advertise Bitcoin, the payments system. You can argue over Bitcoin the currency, however Bitcoin the payments system is extremely tough to refute, even through the lens of traditional economics. At this point, it's worth discussing that increased decentralization might possibly produce specific downsides, too. Common democracy issues. Decentralization amongst technocrats has its pros, too. That's another conversation. The bottom line is: we require to be talking more about this! Much of the world still deeply misconstrues Bitcoin. The truth that the "Bitcoin is bad for the environment" argument has actually gotten a lot traction hurts proof. And even we Bitcoiners, all at really various depths of the bunny hole, can take advantage of much easier interactions with the blockchain. So speak about this in your Telegrams, Discords and naturally, on Twitter. Is it practical? Does it make good sense? Is it a wild-goose chase? Is it being actively dealt with? Let's go back to the story from the start of this piece: Your child woman is adjusting her laptop computer, and she shouts "Wow!" and "Oh!" You stroll over and see a brand-new block being contributed to a chain of blocks preceding it, in real-time. You see one chain ending up being 2, till the chain on the top ends up being longer and longer and the chain listed below disappears into flames. Your woman claps. Now that, folks, is a vision worth chasing. This is a visitor post by Ram. Viewpoints revealed are completely their own and do not always show those of BTC Inc or Bitcoin Magazine. Read More

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fire-lady-ilah · 3 years

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Random Lu Ten Centric Headcanons

Because I love looking at the Fire Nation Royal Family in general, but Lu Ten holds a specific soft spot in my heart.

He’s ten years older than Zuko and was the fourth person to hold his new cousin, after Zuko’s parents and the Fire Lord but before his own father (who had fallen asleep before the baby was born). He does not feel an immediate love for him, but he does feel immediate curiosity at the way Zuko’s little face scrunches up.

He adores Zuko as he grows. To Lu Ten, Zuko is like the younger sibling he never got without the jealousy that stems from a little sibling getting more attention. After all, Iroh still has plenty of time for his actual son, and Zuko has his own parents. He tries to teach the baby firebending before realizing that won’t work (he’s just a baby after all) and resorting to simple games.

When Azula is born, Lu Ten already has experience as a doting older cousin and adores her just as much as he adores Zuko. He tries to help Zuko deal with the lack of attention from his parents by giving him attention— it only partially works.

Lu Ten has a complicated relationship with Ozai. The easiest way to picture it is to think of Simba and Scar before Mufasa’s death. Ozai resents Lu Ten for taking his place in the line of succession, though he tolerates the little prince. Lu Ten, for his part, can’t imagine someone hating him as a child and views Ozai as just a grumpy person in general. It is only when he gets older that he starts to realize that Ozai might hate him, but by that point he can’t avoid him because it would mean avoiding his cousins.

Lu Ten is also quite close to his grandfather, Fire Lord Azulon. While it may seem a surprise, Lu Ten is expected to inherit the throne one day. Azulon’s love of tea passes down to Iroh, which then passes down to Lu Ten. Grandfather and grandson spend long hours talking on night the full moon every month, starting when Lu Ten is only seven. When he’s young, it’s about topics like what he’s learned in school and how his hobbies are going. As he gets older, the topics become more serious and nuanced. This is another source of envy from Ozai— Lu Ten has a closer relationship to his father than he ever did.

All in all, he has a happy childhood and is viewed as the perfect prince. A prodigy firebender (Azula breaks all his records, but that’s okay. It makes him proud and he teaches her the next move in the set before her tutors will), knowledgeable in Fire Nation culture and history, an expert tactician. Everyone looks at him and knows he’ll be the greatest Fire Lord the Nation has ever seen.

When he is seventeen, he takes a season long break from his typical studies and duties to study under Master Piandao. He takes Zuko with him. He mentions the name to his grandfather, who sneers but does not forbid him from going. Under Piandao he discovers a love of painting. He also discovers the first thing he doesn’t immediately excel at. While Zuko’s dual swords flow as if they are an extension of his body, Lu Ten works from sundown to sunset to accomplish only half of what Zuko does while barely trying. He’s happy that Zuko has something he’s good at. It’s the only thing that keeps him from quitting swordsmanship. He knows that he’s the only reason Zuko is able to learn under Master Piandao. So Lu Ten persists so Zuko can flourish.

Lu Ten is a flirt, and in this he takes after his father. He’s also bisexual, although he keeps that fact carefully hidden from his family. He’s well aware of his Nation’s laws after all. Despite all his flirting, there’s very few people that he actually develops relationships with.

Lu Ten enlists at eighteen and insists on being trained with the other soldiers and treated the same. He regrets this soon after under two tutelage of Master Jeong Jeong, who he swears treats him worse because he’s a prince. It gets worse when he heards that Jeong Jeong is an old friend of his father’s and an old “friend” of Master Piandao— so he has no qualms about pushing him to his limits and forcing him to incorporate weaponry into his firebending. Yet despite it all, he’s still not Jeong Jeong’s star student.

The first time he kills someone, he throws up. He wants to quit. He wants to run away. He wants to go back to the palace and pull his little cousins into his arms and tell them to never, ever go to battle. He keeps fighting and kills again a moment later because it’s an active fight and the sky is grey and he doesn’t have anything left in his stomach but he’s still dry heaving again when his friends find him and the battle is done. He never quite gains the stomach for killing, preferring to make a killing strike and move away without ensuring they die. That way there is doubt in his mind.

Lu Ten takes his issued leave a few months before he dies, travelling to the Fire Nation and spending some time with his cousins. They are a balm to his soul and he finds years of battle induced ache begin to ease. He spoils them both, sparring with Zuko with swords (the boy beats him soundly) and Azula with firebending (she doesn’t quite beat him, but he knows he’s one of the few people she’s okay with being stronger than her... for now). He gives them their favourite treats until their stomachs ache. He gives them both paintings he’s done of the three of them together, even though Azula complains about Zuko being in the painting and Zuko complains about Azula. He meets with his grandfather on the full moon and talks through the whole night. He returns to the front happy and relaxed.

The next time he sees battle, he falls. He knows he will be mourned. He will be mourned by a Nation, by a father, a grandfather, and two little cousins. One will yell and cry. The other will hide behind her cold masks and clutch a painting so tightly it creases the paper.

Lu Ten sees his father from a distance in the spirit world. It might be a close distance, it might be a far one, the spirit world is tricky. He sees the way he hurts, but he also knows that his father is learning things he wished he learned before he died. He turns and walks away, hoping his father will forgive him when they eventually do meet again.

#lu ten #headcanons #my headcanons #atla headcanons #atla #avatar the last airbender #iroh #zuko #azula #ozai #azulon #fire lord azulon #fire lord ozai #fire nation #fire nation royal family #tw war #tw puke

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maxwell-grant · 3 years

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Cass wouldn’t even begrudingly tolerate [the Black Bat], because she’s even less lenient than Bruce on killing and far more willing to throw down.' - THANK YOU for remembering that.

Cass is my favorite Batfam member, the only one really that I have an active interest in reading about. I'd be incredibly ignorant to not bring bring up such a crucial aspect of her characterization. And even if I didn't personally care for her, well, last thing I'd want is to be another source of frustration for Cass fans. Lord knows there's enough of those to go around.

mousebrass also asked: On that note, how do you imagine a meeting between Cass and the Shadow going?

Fair warning: This one took me 6 hours to write, and it became a hell of a lot longer than I imagined. I liked Cass a lot, but I never quite realized I had this many feelings regarding her until I was tasked with writing this, and a lot of things clicked for me regarding my plans for The Shadow thanks to this ask. @mousebrass, thank you. I mean it. I think I may have found something here I've spent years looking for. Hope you enjoy the post.

I'm thankful that this scenario is only really taking place in a hypothetical fanon where both characters can get a fair shot, because I wouldn't trust DC with this premise. I don't trust DC with either of them as is.

There's a lot of ways that this crossover could go on about taking place naturally, initially because Cass is already connected to some of Batman's pulpier elements, due to her connections to Lady Shiva and the League of Assassins, and one could connect Cass to Myra Reldon (who really should just be race swapped if ever brought back so she can stand out as the cool character she is, without the yellowface gimmick holding her back). There's two things I think are crucial to making the most of this idea, and the first of which has to do with the subject of killing. I usually don't like to come up with hypothetical team-ups for The Shadow that focus too much on the fact that he kills, because it's far from the most significant aspect of his character to focus on, much of it is written from a wrong understanding of the character, and it never amounts to anything other than perfunctory. But here, not only is it completely unavoidable to discuss, here there is actually a very, very substantial grounding as to why this has to be such a big part of the story.

The first and foremost thing that's gotta be established to everyone reading that doesn't know already is this: Cassandra Cain, more so than Batman, more so than any other DCU hero, has a tolerance towards murder lower than zero, and this is completely non-negotiable. She will throw herself on the path of an assault rifle to stop men trying to kill her from accidentally killing each other. The defining moment of her incredibly grim backstory is that she was trained from birth to be the world's greatest murderer, and her first kill traumatized her so badly that she has pivoted as far away from that as possible. I stress a lot that the Shadow should not be written as the trigger-happy maniac comics made him into and that the pulp version killed mostly to defend himself and others, generally left criminals to the police if possible, offered plenty of second-chances, had stories dedicated to the rehabilitation of criminals and so on, but none of this would matter to Cass.

Cass has literally chosen suicide over the prospect of living with murder on her hands time and time again, and The Shadow kills. When he kills, he does so without remorse, with unshakeable certainty. He hates death, he doesn't want lives to be at risk in the first place. But people will die if he doesn't do anything, and what he can do, what he exists to do, is turn the tools of evil against evil, and murder is the oldest tool of evil there is. He doesn't kill because a war scarred him, he doesn't kill because he's got a demon in his soul, he doesn't kill because he's mentally off balance, he doesn't kill because he's evil or sadistic or arrogant or anything of the sort. He kills because the men he fights chose death when they sought to harm innocents and fire guns at him. He kills because he is Death itself.

Regardless of how compassionate he is or can be, regardless of the fact that he's motivated by a desire to protect people, regardless of how justified he is, he is still dropping corpses and laughing maniacally doing so. Cass's real arch-enemy isn't Shiva or David Cain, it's Death, it's the thing that she's fundamentally most opposed to. And guess what The Shadow gets compared to often enough? Literally the very first line of the very first book where we get to see him, this is how we are introduced to him:

So the premise here is that we are taking a character who is defined by her fundamental opposition to death with every fiber of her being, who understands death on a level no other human being does, who is traumatized and hard-wired to detest death at all costs and to choose suicide over it, and asking her to team up with The Grim Reaper.

Even if he received the most abject lesson conceivable on the sheer wrongness of murder, even if he does put down the guns around Cass out of respect for her, he cannot protect his agents and others if he cannot shoot or kill those who try to harm them, and the protection of the agents is absolutely non-negotiable and not at all something he's willing to fuck around with by trying out gadget kung fu superhero alternatives. The Shadow has chosen to throw his life away for their sake time and time again, and no matter how appaling or disgusting Cass finds his deeds, even if he concedes that she's right and should be right on all accounts and that he is fundamentally a monster who has no right to judge others, he would not concede on his mission and he would make it very clear she would have to put him down violently to stop him from protecting others this way, and death has not stopped him before.

And to be upfront in case there's anyone who doubts it, Cass would kick The Shadow's ass, if they had to fight. She is the strongest fighter in the DCU, she lives and breathes fighting and combat in a way no one else does. And The Shadow's not one of those characters who is supposed to be invincible and the best at everything all the time always, he can and does lose fights and scrapes to people far less adept at it than Cass. He's a great fighter, obviously, he hauls bigger men than him through doors and was disabling people with Vulcan neck pinches decades before Spock, and he would definitely have an edge in other areas, but he's out of his league here. Frankly, I don't see The Shadow raising a finger against Cass unless she's been brainwashed into killing people by bad writing. Not because she's a woman, that doesn't really stop him from dealing with evil. But because, for one, she's practically a child compared to him age-wise. Two, he'd obviously know beforehand of her capabilities and how futile it would be to fight or even provoke her. And three, the Shadow's whole thing is knowing. The Shadow Knows and all that. Knowing comes with understanding.

He'd understand very quickly that there is no way someone this young could grow so quickly into the world's greatest fighter without horrific treatment that no one should ever be subjected to. He'd see the movements too practiced and quick, the self-control, the strength and speed far beyond even the trained warriors he's seen, the places where she's been scarred and is good at covering it up. Assuming he doesn't already know about her life story, any meeting between the two would lead to him very quickly figuring out that there's something much deeper about her opposition to killing than just moral reservations, something deeper than Bruce's own gun trauma.

Denny O'Neil's 2nd Batman and Shadow story was about The Shadow secretly helping Bruce overcome gun trauma, and Bruce rejecting The Shadow's intentions to hand him a gun. And to make it clear, people tend to assume that The Shadow only helps people for utilitarian reasons, which is not true as I've tried to demonstrate many times now. I don't want to convey that he would want to help Cass overcome her trauma just so she could be more efficient or something, absolutely no, he'd help her because he helps people in any way he can. I think a story with The Shadow and Cass might involve a similar premise, The Shadow understanding that she has been traumatized very deeply by death and refuses to accept it on any terms, trying to help her overcome it, only to learn that she does not want to "learn" anything she doesn't already know, that she has weaponized her trauma into a source of strength, and wishes nothing more than to help others with it.

And here's where we get to the part that allows the two to be on less antagonistic terms, because one thing that also very strongly defines Cass, at least the Cass I like reading most, is her stubborn, almost desperate need to believe in the best of people, that people can and will change for the better. Like The Shadow, her strength too is knowing, it's perception, the things that she knows about people that words cannot convey. Just as there are many things The Shadow would grow to understand about her that others would not, there would be many things that The Shadow would not be able to conceal from her. Things that no one but her would figure out. Things that, despite her age and lack of experience compared to him, he would have to defer to her knowledge on, which reverses the usual dynamic The Shadow has with people. And perhaps one aspect of that reversal, it's that maybe it's she who winds up secretly manipulating The Shadow into overcoming a deeper issue.

Cass's perspective on killing is shaped not just through trauma, but from a painfully intimate understanding of not just what happens to someone at the time of death, but the cost of murder upon the human soul, the ways it warps people into things they never should have been. Killing is a deeply, deeply serious matter, much more so than fiction seems ever willing to go into. Of course we suspend disbelief for fiction, there's nothing wrong with that, but if a story starts asking questions, starts poking holes into fantasies, they should not be disregarded.

And so it begs a question: How has it affected The Shadow? Is he really as remorseless as he appears to be? Is the fact that he's only killing evil people really of that much use? What's the cost of living as someone who has to know so much about so much evil in so many hearts? Knowledge never comes without price, and knowing evil is his tagline. When he enlists Harry Vincent, he makes it very clear that he has lost lives as he has saved them. From when is that regret coming from? What lives did he lose then? Is he saving people by damning his soul or merely prolonging the inevitable by piling corpses on another end of the scale?

If there's a character that could meaningfully start bringing these questions forth, who could ever truly get The Shadow to stop and reveal things to the audience he never would otherwise, maybe Cass could be that character. A girl who was raised to be a monster, who is treated as a monster and an aberration in-universe (and even outside of it), and turned that into a strength she uses to help others, who cares about everyone and refuses to let others be dehumanized as she was. Who better to know what lurks in the Shadow's heart?

Sometimes when I get an ask, I bullshit my way through infodump walls of text until I can structure it into something vaguely resembling a point. And sometimes, and I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes I get a very, very clear word on my mind related to it before I start writing, that almost seems to be a beacon pointing where I need to get to, and I work my way into getting there. Once you sent me an ask about crossing over The Shadow with Cassandra Cain, the word that came to mind the very second was Language.

It's an interesting relation the two have with language. Language is of course a very substantial part of Cass's character, who does not process language and linguistic development the way most people do, and instead reads body language to the point of superpower. Many stories revolve around Cass's relation to the concept of language, the help she may require from others in getting around things beyond her upbringing, and ways in which she has mastered beyond anyone's scope. Though she is mute, language is her power, what makes her what she is, and she is someone that Batman freely admits could kick his ass if she ever felt like it.

For The Shadow, language is also his power. He speaks all languages and connects allies all over the world, he is an expert ventriloquist, he is able to project his voice beyond what's physically possible, he can imitate voices perfectly to the point of being able to conduct group conversations single-handedly well enough to fool even the people whose voices he's imitating, much of his presence and terror and manipulation are done through his voice, arguably the very reason he exists in the first place is entirely because a radio actor's voice performance was so good and captivating that it tricked people into thinking the character was a real star and not just a glorified narrator. The man you cannot see, but only hear, the perfect hero for radio. And then of course the laugh, which I have a whole separate post on and which, in many ways, acts as a substitute for language in the novels. He uses the laugh so often as a substitute for statements or words, even to himself, that it's pretty much his own personal language. And language is at the core of how he deals with people, as he knows the right language to use to manipulate and move and help them. He knows what to promise, what to reveal, what to omit. He knows what to say, how to say it, when to say it. Language is the strings by which he puppeteers the world around him (and he can talk to animals, at least of one kind).

The Shadow and Cassandra Cain have mastered two different types of Language as throughly as anyone can possibly master them. The Shadow can talk a group of hardened criminals into killing themselves, Cassandra can punch a heart into stopping without killing it. The Shadow echoes his voice "through everywhere and nowhere at once" to whip crowds of thugs into frenzies, Cassandra outraces missiles and was tanking bullets as a child. The Shadow can lie and usurp lives so masterfully to fool even the families of those he's passing off as, Cassandra is a living lie detector who gleams inner conversations from miniscule reactions. The Shadow can speak every language known, Cassandra is the greatest master of the world's most universal language other than music. The two are supposedly human, but every now and then, something comes along to call that into question because of the things they can achieve. They cannot hide secrets from each other the way they do to everyone else. They are driven by a deep desire to help others, to make something out of the circumstances of their lives. To weaponize that which dictates they should be evil and monstrous into a relentless force of good.

Language is the root of understanding. And if nothing else, as impossible as a conciliation of their approaches to crimefighting may be, I think there could be an unique understanding between the two. Perhaps, and this is a bit crazier a concept but one that seems to be where I might have been heading towards all along, even Cassandra Cain finding a calling away from the frayed dynamics of the Batfamily, away from the Bat's looming presence, to become The Shadow's successor, swearing to uphold a mission of justice through non-lethal tactics while he stays on the backseat guiding her. If The Shadow could trust the safety of his agents and the protection of the innocent at the hands of someone as capable and selfless and good-natured as Cassandra, I think he'd be all too happy to be able to trust someone in such a manner, to no longer be the Master of Darkness, but instead to serve the next generation that's weaponized darkness without submerging in it. To achieve, and perhaps return, to his strongest, highest self: A disembodied voice heard, but not seen. Once again the narrator, not the star.

It's a concept I've thought about very extensively for the years I've been a Shadow fan, but now it occurs to me that, if I had to appoint a successor of The Shadow, someone who could take up the mission but shine on their own right, even improve it with the right guidance and circumstances, it would be Cassandra Cain. The Orphan, The Shadow of the Batgirl. Daughter of the greatest assassins, meant to be the world's most lethal murderer, instead pivoted to being one of it's greatest heroes, but never allowed to shine as she should. But in the darker, less restrictive and wilder world of pulp heroes, in The Shadow's world, a beacon would shine all the harder. Perfect strengths attached to perfect opposites, joined together for a greater good, unstoppable after together having weaponized that which most take for granted: the power of language to move worlds.

#replies tag #pulp heroes #comic books #the shadow #cassandra cain #batgirl #i always had a feeling that a successor to the shadow should not be modeled on batman but someone within that range #i never quite found a character i would be happy with taking that role or a similar role #aw shit i just talked myself into a new favorite character #that just so happens to be another character brimming with potential that's denied them by corporate overlords #who could have seen that coming

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offbeatcappuccino · 3 years

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Why Ko Moon Young Didn’t Become the Pretty Witch of the West : It’s Okay To Not Be Okay and Cancel Culture

After I finished watching Its Okay to Not Be Okay, I grappled with many questions, one of which, is why did I end up wanting to root for Ko Moon Young’s happiness at the end. While for many, it might appear straightforward as to why Ko Moon Young is the protagonist, if you dove right into the first episode of the show and you didn’t look at any of the promotional material, you could have easily believed that she was the antagonist. In fact, Ko Moon Young could have become one of the most detestable characters of 2020 rather than one of the most endearing ones. Within the first episode, we see Ko Moon Young make a little girl cry, refuse to care for her ill father, and manage to stab Gang Tae’s hand. By episode three, we see Moon Young chase after Gang Tae in Seojin City even though Gang Tae makes it explicitly clear that he doesn’t want to see her again and despite such warnings, she continues to make unwanted advances towards him.

While many fans would be quick to point out that she is “badass”, everything she does in the previous paragraph is definitely not badass because they are unhealthy and intrusive. Other fans of the show may attempt to justify her behavior by claiming that she has antisocial personality disorder and her history of trauma, but I don’t think that Moon Young is a character, whose behavior need to be justified. Moon Young is a flawed character and was never intended to be a role model of what ideal and healthy behavior should look like. However, Moon Young challenges us to reevaluate the idea that people are one-dimensional and stagnant. While this may seem like common sense, as we now live in a world of “cancel culture” and first impressions, it is a necessary reminder. Through Moon Young’s character, the audience can reach two conclusions. Firstly, all of us can have flaws that co-exist with our redeeming qualities. Secondly, it is important to understand what is the source (e.g. trauma, upbringing, etc)of our flaws and choose to embark on a journey to resolve what is holding us back from achieving warmth in our lives. In this post, I will be analyzing Moon Young’s redeeming qualities and how she grows as a person throughout the course of the plot.

For a woman that struggles to treat others with respect, Moon Young in many ways possesses almost a clairvoyant-like property into addressing universal human emotional needs. We see this immediately through her art, the children books that she writes. One of the reasons that Moon Young becomes such a popular children’s book author is because her work is able to comfort and soothe each person’s deepest vulnerabilities and fears regardless of their age. Before Moon Young even embarks on her own healing journey, she becomes a guiding light for others and this is perhaps her most admirable quality.

We see this quality in many of her unconventional tactics that provide the necessary catharsis for many of the OK Psychiatric patients to acknowledge and move on from their trauma. In Episode 3, when Ko Moon Young, effectively aids in the escape of a VIP patient and takes him to his politician father’s rally, he is finally able to vent his own frustrations of being considered inadequate and unworthy by his father and in doing so, finds much-needed contentment. Additionally, she is the first person to truly offer friendship to Sang Tae and provides him with the opportunity to become an illustrator for her books, and she does this because she truly values his talent and follows through with the promise. She doesn’t use Sang Tae simply as a cover to bring Gang Tae closer even though one may assume that at first glance. For Moon Young, Sang Tae really is her friend and “older brother”. For Gang Tae, Moon Young helps him prioritize his own self care and realize his own self worth beyond his relationship with his older brother. These examples suggest that Moon Young’s greatest strength is her ability to truly see individuals beyond their predicament in a world that reduces people to their mental illnesses. Unlike many who simply pity, Moon Young empowers these characters by supporting them in their journey to take back control of their own stories. Maybe this is because Moon Young, herself suffered years of abuse and trauma by her parents, and thus she is able to empathize with these characters in a way unparalleled to those who we may define as conventionally nice like Gang Tae or Ju Ri.

For Ko Moon Young, her trauma stems from the abuse that she faced at the hands of both of her parents. Ko Moon Young’s mother, a murderer, who probably has some sort of personality disorder, controls Ko Moon Young because she is her “greatest creation”. It can be argued that her mother’s controlling behavior is what may have reinforced any antisocial like personality traits that Moon Young exhibits. On the other hand, her father, who despises what his wife represents, tried to kill Ko Moon Young as a child, so that she wouldn’t end up becoming a monster like her mother. The lasting scar from both of her parents is what effectively makes Moon Young build a wall over herself and causes her to come off as cruel and difficult to others.

However, after having to re confront her trauma when her father tries to choke her again during a routine visit to the hospital ( and with the entrance of Gang Tae and Sang Tae in her life), Moon Young demonstrates an unwavering determination to not become what others expect her to be. She proves time and time again that she is more than an empty can. She breaks the chain that her mother had over her life by symbolically cutting her hair in Episode 7 and also tells her father off when he tells her that she will turn out to be like her mother. She makes amends with Juri despite their distasteful past and upon realizing that the brothers are left alone in the castle with her mother, she risks going back to the castle and confronting her biggest fear to save them. Perhaps, the greatest indicator of Ko Moon Young’s growth is her admission to her mother that she feels sorry for her because she hasn’t found the warmth that Moon Young found. In Its Okay To Not Be Okay, Moon Young’s character arc is much like ice that melts. She may be stubbornly stiff and cold but through the warmth and support from those who care about her, she ultimately melts into the very water that nourishes the magnolias of her garden.

#seo yea ji #seo ye ji #ko moon young #its okay to not be okay #tvn #kim soo hyun #moon sang tae #moon gang tae #nam ju ri #ko dae hwan #do hui jae #psycho but it's okay #netflix #kdrama

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mashkaroom · 3 years

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Lengthy analysis of Holes, as promised!. This will include spoilers, which will be marked. Just gonna go through the book and the philosophy/themes/connections I caught onto this time around. Stuff discussed, in order: connections to Camus, on the question of children’s books, systems, cycles, and why Stanley is gay and jewish 😏

Camus:

The first and perhaps most obvious set of texts/theories it makes sense to put Holes in conversation with is the works of Albert Camus. Holes starts out with a description of the sun and the heat, which readers of the Stranger will remember are major themes there. The heat continues to be a prominent part of the story, though thematically, it functions very differently in the two books. In The Stranger it primarily represents the indifference of the universe (or at least so claim a ton of sources and I’m inclined to agree) and the lack of control we exert over our own lives while in Holes it’s basically the opposite of that. The heat and drought is implied to be a semi-divine punishment for a past injustice and, moreover, the elite adults of the camp have air conditioning and access to shade: the sun does not affect everyone equally in Holes as it does in The Stranger (though even that is debatable: I don’t think this was Camus’s intent, but it’s notable that it’s only the white englishman who’s driven to murder by the sun. This could certainly be read as critique of colonizers who cannot/refuse to coexist with the land and environment and how the indigenous population always suffers for it, but I digress). The other Camusian parallel one is immediately inclined to draw is that, of course, of Sysiphus: there’s the repetitive and seemingly meaningless act of digging holes not to mention that carrying stuff up a mountain is both thematically and plot-wise a very important part of Holes. But, once again, it is eventually revealed that both acts do carry an inherent meaning. Holes does not present the image of an uncaring universe: on the contrary, destiny and semi-divine influence plays a major role. The story may start out with a series of seemingly random and inherently meaningless events, but as the story progresses, people, actions, items, and events become increasingly imbued with meaning. In the Holes universe, one must imagine Sisyphus redeemed, not through the act of rolling the stone but by rebelling against it. I have difficulty imagining that Sachar was not thinking of Camus while writing Holes, or, at the very least, that if he encountered Camus afterwards, he must have been struck by the similarities. I don’t know if there was a specific intent in creating a story so embroiled in Camusian absurdism, especially since the target readership is (allegedly) children who almost certainly are not recognizing specific allusions to Camus, so perhaps the similarities are purely aesthetic — after all, everything that is nominally similar does play quite different thematic roles. However, I would never pass up the opportunity to talk about the myth of sisyphus and I think placing Holes in dialogue with Camus can raise some interesting questions about the nature of meaning.

Is Holes a children’s book?

Speaking, though, of the target audience, the audience for this book is in fact children. What about it makes it a children’s book makes it difficult to say: the protagonists are children (and, I would argue, it is not a coming of age story, despite the claims of one piece of lit crit about Holes in which i disagreed with almost every claim made, but i digress once more) and the writing style is fairly simple: you can read it with a second-grader’s vocabulary. Also, of course, being a children’s book doesn’t (and crucially shouldn’t!) mean that it’s lacking in depth and complexity. However, I think most thematically rich children’s books tend to be quite allegorical. The Little Prince is a good example. Holes is just way too specific for its sole market to be children. It’s either intended to be read by multiple generations at once or for child readers to return to it as an adult. It addresses themes of racism (and not just generic racism, anti-black racism in the reconstruction south), homelessness, intergenerational trauma. and the modern carceral system. These are social critiques that will probably go over most kids’ heads (certainly over mine). However, the themes of the text are not inaccessible for children. You don’t have to understand the particular history of the US criminal justice system or even that Sachar is making a comparison to anything specific to get that the system that he’s portraying is unjust. Knowing the real-world context just adds another layer to the text. Holes also has one of the hallmarks of children’s books that I really like, which is a particular type of absurdism that the child characters come up against. This always rang true to me as a kid and well into my teens, when you start understanding that your life is controlled by some set of systems, but you haven’t quite gotten what those systems are or why and how they came about. Like nowadays, I can say “we did this in elementary school because of a state law, that because of a federal law, that because of the history of puritanism, and this because we got a grant for it”, but as a kid nobody tells you these things or really even cares to explain why the rules are as they are, and the systems that govern your world, often with no small degree of violence and almost always with an inherent disregard for your agency, are ineffable and slippery, and good children’s books capture this really well (Series of Unfortunate Events is probably my favorite example of this, where a secret organization that everything is implicated in and more more tragicomic details about it get revealed until the Baudelaire children find themselves to some degree members with mixed feelings is honestly an excellent coming-of-age allegory. oh, not to mention the constant conflict with bureacracy. god that series is so good, everyone read it). Back to Holes, Sachar weaves the more fantastical ineffable elements in with real-world issues so neatly. Stanley’s family is allegedly cursed, which is why Stanley keeps having bad luck, but he also lives in systemic poverty, which is also why he keeps having bad luck. Sachar eschews neither the allegorical elements common in children’s literature nor the more direct systemic critiques more often found in YA and adult lit, and it creates a really unique vibe. I think the story really benefited from having a children’s author, and I would love to see more authors in both children’s and adult lit do this!

Systems

Speaking of the systems, this book is surprisingly radical. Like it’s full-on an abolitionist text. The law is pretty much only ever presented as adversarial, both in the story of Stanley’s present time, and in Kate and Sam’s story. It’s implied if not stated repeatedly that Stanley and the other boys are pretty much victims of circumstance and have been imprisoned pretty much for the crime of being poor. The hole-digging is shown to be cruel and bad for the boys. It’s noted that in digging the holes Stanley’s heart hardened along with his muscles. This is of course very evocative of the system of retributive justice we have in America. Additionally, Camp Greenlake’s existence can ultimately be traced back to an act of racist violence, also in close parallel with our prison system. Hole’s stance on justice is very restorative. Punishments are never shown to work: only through righting the wrongs can true justice be achieved. Moreover, Holes even gives the opportunity for redemption to a minor antagonist when [minor spoiler] Derrick Dunne, the kid who was bullying Stanley in the beginning ultimately plays a small role in helping Stanley regain his freedom [spoiler over].

Cycles

Cycles are a major theme in holes, and Sachar creates a unique temporality to support this theme. There are 3 interwoven stories: that of Stanley’s in the present date, that of Stanley’s ancestors, and that of the land that Stanley is on (though, as I will delve into later, it’s at least a little implied that Stanley is descended from the characters in that story also). The stories from the past reach in and touch the present. You can’t untangle the past from the future. Looking at this again through a social justice lens, it could be seen as fairly progressive commentary on what to do with regards to America’s past wrongs. The past cannot and will not be left in the past: it must be dealt with on an ongoing basis. Even the warden, the greatest villain of Stanley’s story has a sympathetic moment at the end where it’s revealed that she, too, is stuck in a cycle of intergenerational trauma she can’t break free from.

Stanley is gay and jewish

Ok, I will now talk about how Stanley is a queer Jew, but this entire section will be riddled with spoilers, so read the book first and then come back!

A queer Jew?? i hear you ask. You’re just projecting. Yes, 100%. However, I think that interpreting Stanley as both these things adds to the thematic richness of the text. Let’s start with the Jewish bit: it’s not explicitly stated that Stanley is Jewish, but his great-great grandfather is a nerd-boy Latvian immigrant with the last name Yelnats, and his great-grandfather was a stockbrocker, so, like, ya know. Louis Sachar is also himself Jewish, as was the director of the movie, who cast Jews in the roles of Stanley and his family (dyk Shia LaBeouf is Jewish?? i did not), so I know I’m not the only one interpreting it this way. And honestly, does it not resemble the book of exodus quite a bit? They escape what is pretty much a form of slavery and wander in the desert. Sploosh resembles the well of Miriam, and then they ascend up a mountain to the “thumb of god”, perhaps in a parallel to Moses receiving the commandments. Is this a useful way to look at the text? Who knows. But what I think we do get from reading Stanley as Jewish is a more nuanced discussion of privilege and solidarity. If Stanley and his ancestors are Jewish (or at least Jew-ish), then what placed the curse upon his family (and, we see, Madame Zeroni’s family isn’t doing so great either) is the breaking of solidarity between oppressed people. But also, the fact that you are also marginalized does not wash you of the responsibility to other marginalized groups. I don’t think Sachar intended it this way, because I think he probably would have talked about it more if he had, but I would say this book can be read as a call to the American Jewish community to take an active role in forging solidarity with other marginalized groups and actively righting the wrong you, your ancestors, and your community wrought upon them.

Now, why do I think Stanley and Zero are gay? Before I go into how it augments the text thematically, I bring to your attention this passage.

Two nights later, Stanley lay awake staring up at the star-filled sky. He was too happy to fall asleep.

He knew he had no reason to be happy. He had heard or read somewhere that right before a person freezes to death, he suddenly feels nice and warm. He wondered if perhaps he was experiencing something like that.

It occurred to him that he couldn't remember the last time he felt happiness. It wasn't just being sent to Camp Green Lake that had made his life miserable. Before that he'd been unhappy at school, where he had no friends, and bullies like Derrick Dunne picked on him. No one liked him, and the truth was, he didn't especially like himself.

He liked himself now.

He wondered if he was delirious. He looked over at Zero sleeping near him. Zero's face was lit in the starlight, and there was a flower petal in front of his nose that moved back and forth as he breathed. It reminded Stanley of something out of a cartoon. Zero breathed in, and the petal was drawn up, almost touching his nose. Zero breathed out, and the petal moved toward his chin. It stayed on Zero's face for an amazingly long time before fluttering off to the side.

Stanley considered placing it back in front of Zero's nose, but it wouldn't be the same.

Girl, I’m sorry, that’s gay as shit! It’s such tremendous tenderness, not to mention the traditionally romantic imagery of moonlight and the flower petal. There’s also the non-romantic aspects. Stanley’s inexplicable happiness and suddenly liking himself evokes, for me, at least, the experience of coming out to yourself, of realizing who you are. Later in this chapter, Stanley contemplates running away with Zero despite the fact that it would make them lifelong outlaws. This book, remember, was written in 1998, and homosexuality was decriminalized in 2003, and the book takes place in Texas. It would have been, if anything, even more evocative of gayness when it was published. Now as to how this increases the thematic richness of the text: obviously, in carrying Hector up to the thumb, giving him water, and singing the lullaby, he redeems the wrong done by his ancestor, after which his family’s luck immediately changed. However, after Hector and Zero return to camp Greenlake, rain falls there for the first time. What was redeemed here? Remember that earlier on we learn that what caused the drought was the fact that Sam the onion man (who was black) was murdered for kissing Kate Barlow (who was white) — so what would a [post-factum wronging of that right look like? Zero, as we remember, is black while Stanley is white, so them being in a romantic relationship would be a successful interracial relationship to redeem the one Kate and Sam weren’t able to have. It’s also, as I said earlier, implied that Stanley is descended from Kate Barlow on his mother’s side: Stanley remembers seeing the other half of the lipstick tube with her initials on it in his mother’s bedroom. I’d also argue that Sam the Onion Man is implied to be descended from Madame Zeroni (chronology-wise, I think he’d be her grandson). First of all, there’s no follow-up with Madame Zeroni’s son who moved to America, and pretty much all other plot threads are followed up with in Holes. Secondly, Sam mentions water running uphill, just like Madame Zeroni does. Even without these speculations being true, Stanley and Hector being gay would redeem the land they’re on, but If they are, the parallel with the other ancestral redemption arc becomes to much to imagine it was unintentional.

So anyway, those are my thoughts on Holes, now everyone go read it!

#was trying to express my dad that shia labeouf is jewish but couldn't remember how to pronounce his name #so i was like. dyk sheeya labeeoof is jewish? indiana jone's son. shaya labyof. Pap. Indiana Jone's son. you know who he is. Pap come on #when he figured out who he was he asked if harrison ford was also jewish #as a joke #and turns out he fucking is! his maternal grandparents are jews from minsk!#quoth my father: 'they're everywhere. nothing is sacred'#lololol #anyway this fucking booooook you guys

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Star Vs Tom Luictor Retrospective Detour: Skooled!

Dedicated to Jessica Walter 1941- 2021

Welcome back all you still mourning people to Prince of Wishful Thinking, my Tom Lucitor Retrospective... or at least a detour from it as I need to cover the Meteora arc to cover Divide/Conquer properly. When we last left off with Star she and Tom were going closer, but both are taking a break this time. We’ll get back to them in April... oh will we get back to them in april. For now we’re back to Meteora who I forgot was ABSENT for a while. not forever, but while her parantege, the cover up related to her and all of that has been vitally important, Meteora herself vanished after Monster Party and hasn’t been seen till now. But i’ts a good storytelling engine.. it ratchets up tension for her inevitable return, and gives us time to find out what happened with her and let that sink in.. granted i’td also be the last time it sunk in but I can dunk on the series decline later... I still have season 4 episodes to cover after all. So join me under the cut as we get the welcomed Return of Henious, an unexpected hero.. and Ponyhead because this series clearly hasn’t hurt me enough. And as usual for my Star Vs Reviews, i’d like to thank one of my Best Friends @jess-the-vampire for her insight on this episode. It’s always welcome and she always manages to find something I didn’t think of .

So we open at Saint O’s with Ponyhead returning to the school, having previously run it post rebellion before leaving because.. I don’t know. She probably got tired of being a leader, and out of universe they needed her to be around star more. Look the series has far more important things it never explained and never will, not explaining why a recklessly irresponsible asshole left a position of authority and responsibility I can let slide.

She’s come for brunch but things have changed... the school is still a warm, free environment for princesses to better themselves and party hardy, no longer an oppressive brainwashing gulag run by someone who as it turned out was horribly brainwashed herself.. it’s just now it actually has rules and structure.

It now also has an actual leader, Princess Patty Arms who showed up in the school’s previous appearance this season here and.. that’s it. I think she showed up in the background of the original st o’s episode. And it’s a shame because she’s a really fascinating character. No really she’s calm, dosen’t take Pony’s shit, and while a brunch exam SEEMS like a waste of time... it really isn’t. A good meal can loosen up a dignitary and some rulers have sticks up their keisters about things like this, so being able to do it just right can win them over. It’s still a touch ridiculous but given the world of star is a touch ridiculous to start with, it works.

Pony naturally leaves in a rage over this especially when no one backs her up.. but soon the School has bigger issues and we get to why we’re actually here: Meteora is back. And while she has changed, now having grown larger and stronger, easily scaling the wall, she still wants payback and we get a damn fine battle sequence as the princesses all unite against their former tormentor. It’s also sad in hindsight.. because as Jess pointed out to me almost NONE of these characters show up again. And I only added the almost because Penelope is in there. They all seem interesting, the setting of ST O’s itself is interesting, and the idea of a school for princesses of various types is a cool idea. I’ts something the show could’ve come back to to see how they bounce back from this attack.. but like most cool background elements in the show they forget about it. It was intresting to see the schools slow evolution from horrible nightmare to princess ran utopia and like many things coming up it feels like a lost opportunity.

That being said the fight is awesome, with Meteora proving to be a juggernaut in strength and outplanning her enimies, having brought an overide switch for the robots (Patty reprogrammed them to work for the school) and having them throw their hearts/ power sources as bombs. It’s a damn fine sequence as she finds way after way to keep going, with a now restored rasticore helping them simply portal in.

Pony meanwhile.. is hiding , as Patty find sout when she finds her, and Pony assumes this is about her... though for once i’ts not JUST ego.. but because she was one of the two who started the uprising at the school in the first place and THE person who tossed her out. We also get a nice character moment as while Pony tells patti she still hates her.. she puts the princess behind her when Meteora approaches. She may be a selfish twit whose massively unlikeable.. but she has a good heart.. and not just the one she keeps in a jar she got from one of her boyfriends.

But Meteora has more important buisness and finds her way to the depths of St. O’s.. where we meet the Schools namesake and her adopted mother a robot played by tress macneile.. another thing the series never bothered to care about as where did these robots come from and why?

Turns out Meteora came to find out her own personal history, with the remote from before used to find the real dirt.. and what we find .. is heartbreaking as we slowly journey back through Meteora’s childhoods as Henious.. and it’s fucking heart breaking with Tress voicing her younger versions, hence why I didn’t use this as the jessica tribute as while walter’s good in the episode, she isn’t given much.

We see her as a teen, forced to hide her tail and insulted over it by her mother.. and it only gets worse as when her cheeks glow as a kid St. O tries to wash them off and we get the poor child desperately begging that “she can be better”

We do finally get the answers Meteora saught as we see Shastacan dropping off the baby meteora, calling her “Henious”.. which St. O took as her name. Proving the spiderbites minus penelope’s dickishness is indeed genetic and why I have no sympathy for the prick getting eaten later... and hopefully globgor will do an encor with penepople’s parents. Here’s hoping.

So Meteora now knows she’s the rightful queen, and decides to go take it back.. though Pony does try to stand up for her friends... and while we don’t see it hte next episode confirms she got her horn ripped the fuck off. And this horribly traumatic injury.. is magically fixed via 3d printing next time we see her after an episode grappling iwth it instead of having pony deal with not having a horn, or her prostetic not giving her magic powers again. Because this show again really likes to leave good ideas out to rot in the sun like that package of hamburger I left out in the sun yesterday. And I actually had a reason there: I need a lot of Racoons for an elaborate scheme involving a map to tex cruz’s house, a used apache helicopter and a bulk order of tiny parachutes.

We do get some payoff to things though, as Henious comes on to rasticore who not so politely rejects her for being nuts.. before it’s revealed Gemini, her loyal servant is also a robot and she uses his heart to blow up rasticore and take the arm with her... which is ALSO never brought up again. Seriously this episode is so full of loose ends i’m suprised it just dosen’t end with Zuko asking his dad about his mother. Gemini’s death is genuinely tragic as his last words are “If you wanted my heart.. all you had to do.. was assssskkkkk”. God damn. So with that Meteora heads out to reclaim her birthright.. no matter the cost.

Final Thoughts on Skooled!: This one is decent.. but like the last episode I covered, the lack of payoff off for almost anything here, excluding the Meteora plotline and the Pony thing which instead got a BAD payoff, is really starting to rear it’s ugly head as the series greatest weakness. Yes bigger than the romance plot. And given that romance plot after this season can be best discribed as...

youtube

The show just.. forgets a good chunk of things happened to keeep things chugging along. It sets UP plots, what happens to st o’s from here, buff frog and a small caravan of monsters leaving forever, the message from shastacan, who built the st o’s robots, and on and on.. but it never PAYS them off. It dosen’t care to. It just does things so the plot can move but never bothers to think about the fucking consequences. It just gets more and more irrtating to think about as other shows throughly DO: Amphibia has the fact the characters get into shenanigans become a commented on running gag and something they grow past, and everything that happens matters. Every episode of Owl House builds on the foundation of the previous episodes. OK Ko dosen’t forget one episode had the characters not be able to turn back into humans and implies their wearing human costumes for the rest of the series. Which is fucking weird, but it was their memory. My point is other shows around the same time or right after didn’t magically forget things happened for convience sake. While it’s OKAY to loose some things in the shuffle, it happens to the best of us, it’s not okay to do it SO fucking often and with no clear care for the audiences desire for payoff. The show just ignores what plot points, like the huge cliffhanger of Star telling marco how she felt at the end of season 2, it dosen’t care about till it needs them and ignores the ones it never does. You can’t just.. bring shit up like it’s important and then try and forget it ever happened. People remember stuff, we are NOT stupid. KIDS are not stupid. When I was younger I REMEMBERED things that happened on KND, Danny Phantom, Xiaolin Showdown, TMNT 2003, because those shows, which are from decades ago, knew I would and trusted even if I missed something and was thrown off i’d tune in for the quality.

And in an age of streaming and more story based tv you can’t just.. ask kids to act like something they saw didn’t happen because your fucking lazy and frankly YOU never should have. Kids deserve better, my niblings deserve better and frankly the adults your clearly also writing for.. deserve better. This episode is eh, but the problems it represents are so fucking worse.

Next time on tom. If you thought I got angry towards the end of this one, just you wait. Next time i’ts Booth Buddies. Yeah.. yeah that one. Stay tuned.

#star vs the forces of evil #skooled #lilica ponyhead #meteora butterfly #gemini #rasticore #patty arms #rat princess #penelope spiderbite #saint olga #saint olgas #disney xd #disney plus #disney channel

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corruptchuuya · 4 years

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i have compiled a list dedicated to the best lines in all avatar. zuko frowns upon me because he thinks that he is not funny. however, i have come to the conclusion that, in fact, he is.

aang (he speaks with the enlightenment only a twelve year old can have):

“it’s easy to do nothing, it’s hard to forgive.”

“when we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change”

“anyone is capable of great good and great evil.”

katara (character growth tings):

“i wanted to do it. i wanted to take out all my anger at him. but… i couldn’t. i don’t know if it’s because i’m too weak to do it, or if it’s because i’m strong enough not to.”

“love is brightest in the dark”

sokka (and his epic love story with boomerang):

“boomerang! you do always come back!”

“i don’t think boomerang is coming back, toph. it looks like this is the end.”

“drink cactus juice. it’ll quench ya! nothing's quenchier. it’s the quenchiest!”

toph (she is THAT bitch):

“i am the greatest earthbender in the world! don’t you two dunderheads ever forget it!”

“i am not toph! i am melon lord!”

“there's no different angle, no clever solution, no trickety trick that's gonna move that rock. you gotta face it head on.”

zuko (he created dry humor):

“that’s rough buddy.”

“get out of the bison’s mouth, sokka.”

“hello. zuko here.”

“why am i so bad at being good!?”

zuko (angsty king):

“you’ve always thrown everything you could at me! well, i can take it, and now i can give it back! come on, strike me! you’ve never held back before!”

“azula always lies. azula always lies.”

“my father says she was born lucky. he says i was lucky to be born.”

iroh (who am i kidding, all his lines should be on here):

“it’s time for you to look inward and start asking yourself the big question: who are you and what do you want?”

“and now you have come to the crossroads of your destiny. it’s time for you to choose. it’s time for you to choose good.”

“pride is not the opposite of shame, but it’s source. true humility is the only antidote to shame.”

azula (i simp for her):

“don’t flatter yourself! you were never even a player.”

“you mean it’s not obvious yet? i am about to celebrate becoming an only child!”

“well, then. maybe you should worry less about the tides, who’ve already made up their mind about killing you... and worry more about me, who’s still mulling it over.”

mai (goth queen):

“you miscalculated. i love zuko more than i fear you.”

feel free to add more! especially funny zuko quotes to prove him wrong because we can!

#atla #avatar the last airbender #avatar #zuko #prince zuko #kataang #zutara #zukka is superior #mai #katara #azula #iroh #the dragon of the west #aang #sokka #toph #melon lord #quotes #atla quotes

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taylizmasterpost · 4 years

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Jake Gyllenhaal and Jealous Liz (October 2010 - February 2011)

Now, there’s a lot to say about Jake and Taylor. The time they got together was a time when he was promoting his movie, Love and Other Drugs, and she was about to drop Speak Now. So at first glance, it look a lot like a traditional PR stunt. However, they do not have a first public meeting -- something that Taylor has with a lot of her other PR relationships (think Calvin at the Fund Fair or Harry at the KCAs), and seemed generally more camera shy.

Jake’s costar in Love and Other Drugs, Anne Hathaway, was also single at the time, and arguably a PR relationship between the two of them would’ve drummed up significantly more buzz for the film, so stunting with Taylor seems an odd choice.

Jake also reportedly annoyed Taylor with how much he wanted to hide from the press, which is interesting. I’m not totally certain if they were real or not, but I’ll put all of their stuff in here, because it’s interesting to note Liz’s reaction to all of it, despite her relationship:

23 October 2010 - Emma Stone hosts SNL. Both Taylor and Jake G show up to support her, supposedly they’ve already started dating at this point and this was their first public appearance together.

"They walked around together backstage, but they were careful not to be seen too close. It was hard to tell if they were together, but everyone was shocked that she brought him," a source told People magazine.

Notice the lack of public meeting. Strange that they just showed up together dating.

24 October 2010 - Liz tweets about listening to Never Grow Up

October 2010 - Taylor writes All Too Well, the first of the three “Nashville songs” -- All Too Well, State of Grace, Stay Stay Stay-- that were written for the Red album before she moved to LA, based on the fact that she said she started writing for Red slightly before Speak Now was released.

We also know All Too Well has to have been written in 2010 because what the copyright record for it says:

Now, it seems to me that this is too soon to be about Jake. It’s obviously a breakup song, and Taylor and Jake have only just started dating (unless they had a secret dating history we don’t know about). It would be weird for her to be writing all this about him while they’re still dating.

All Too Well could be about any of the three women I’ve spoken previously about in this masterpost. However, I’m going to try to make the case that this song is for Liz:

All Too Well is Liz’s favorite song from Red. She has said so on multiple occasions. Years later, when she came to watch Taylor’s Reputation tour in Glendale, Taylor even played it for her as the surprise song. Sure, it could just be that Liz is just a fan, but the song fits where we are in the timeline. Liz has moved on with someone else. Taylor is trying to get over it, but she can’t help but think back to the past she remembers “all too well.”

If the song is about a woman, lines like “back before you lost the one real thing you’ve ever known” reads to me as Taylor making a (possibly unfounded) dig at closeting. All Too Well also carries the bad driving metaphor with “almost ran the red,” which runs throughout a lot of the other Liz songs on Red, and which Liz will later reference herself in her own music. The lines in the bridge about “asking for too much” and “running scared,” remind me of Taylor insisting she was single during Valentine’s Day, despite spending it with Liz, only to turn around and miss her once Liz got a boyfriend. Lines about loss of innocence are also interesting, when we think about that L Chat post about Liz from earlier...

Of course, obviously, you can think this song is about whoever you want. If you wanna claim it for JH or Joe Jonas or Taylor Lautner or maybe even some girl Taylor went to high school with, be my guest. I personally don’t buy it being about Emily in a post-Dear John world, and the timeline doesn’t read as Jake to me, so I’m giving it to Liz!

25 October 2010 - Speak Now is released. In the album’s prologue, she specifies that the song “Long Live” is for her band, which is interesting to me, considering that the bridge of the song sounds like it might be about a relationship, and the secret message of the song is “For you,” which sounds oddly specific:

Will you take a moment? Promise me this That you’ll stand by me forever But, if God forbid, fate should step in And force us into a goodbye If you have children someday When they point to the pictures, Please tell ‘em my name

The secret message for Mine is “Toby,” which is the name of the actor who played her love interest during the song, making it make no sense for the song to be about him (and, in my eyes, making it more likely she was trying to cover up who the song was really for). We’ve already discussed Story of Us having “CMT Awards” and Back to December having “Tay,” so I won’t beat you over the head with those.

Unlike the original handwritten lyrics to Sparks Fly, which featured the lyric “Get me with those brown eyes, baby,” the version that Taylor put on the Speak Now album had the lyric “hit me with those green eyes, baby,” with the eye color presumably being changed because Liz has green eyes:

The secret message for Sparks Fly is “Portland, Oregon,” which is where Taylor and The Agency covered Tom Petty’s song American Girl in May 2009 during the height of early TayLiz.

26 October 2010 - Taylor and Jake are spotted together in Brooklyn getting lunch with Emma Stone:

Liz does a sound check for Taylor for the Today Show. A video later gets posted on YouTube and someone leaves this comment noting Taylor and Liz’s chemistry:

31 October 2010 - Taylor and Jake are spotted in Big Sur together and stay at California’s Post Inn Ranch.

Liz spends Halloween with her boyfriend:

1 November 2010 - Taylor’s appearance on Ellen airs. Ellen asks her about Jake. Taylor says “I’m always optimistic about love. Yes, always, sometimes.”

2 November 2010 - Taylor and Jake are spotted in Santa Barbara together. They get ice cream, interact with fans, and Taylor reportedly laughs at everything Jake says.

16 November 2010 - Jake attends the Love and Other Drugs premiere alone. This is interesting to me, considering if this was a PR relationship you would’ve thought he’d bring Taylor as his date. Still, Paula made some weird decisions in her time as Taylor’s publicist (like putting her with a carousel of 18 year olds), so this could just be Paula thinking that Taylor showing up at the premiere with him would be too obviously read as a stunt. Doesn’t rule it either way. Still, I think Anne would’ve been a better choice for PR for this.

Mid November - Perez Hilton alleges that Jake has picked up Taylor on his private jet to fly her to London because she was “feeling lonely.” Jake was in London promoting Love and Other Drugs so this seems very stunty to me personally.

22 November 2010 - Taylor attends the American Music Awards and wins Favorite Female Country Artist.

Liz tweets congratulations at her and seems generally excited.

24 November 2010 - Love and Other Drugs is officially released in theaters.

25 November 2010 - Taylor and Jake spend Thanksgiving in Brooklyn with Jake’s family.

26 November 2010 - Liz seems to have spent Thanksgiving with Jason:

27 November 2010 - Taylor and Jake are spotted in a coffee house in Nashville:

And, maybe in response, Liz makes this weird and vaguely jealous Tweet:

Now, I don’t know what this means. Maybe the “you” refers to Liz and she’s having what Carly Rae Jepsen would call “boy problems” -- feeling torn and overburdened between a best friend and boyfriend:

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Or, perhaps, the “you” in this Tweet refers to Taylor, and Liz is trying to say that Jake is “using her up,” maybe meaning taking up her time. Or maybe Liz wasn’t referring to any of this. We can’t really know. Still, it’s interesting.

29 November 2010 - TayLiz hang out and Liz tweets about it. Perhaps to make up for the lack of time spent together since they both got boyfriends.

30 November 2010 - Taylor and Jake have coffee in Nashville:

1 December 2010 - Taylor writes a MySpace post about the CMTs.

Liz tweets about watching Glee, meaning she’s the one who got Taylor hooked on the show and therefore interested in Dianna. Hilarious.

2 December 2010 - Taylor calls Love and Other Drugs a “good movie” when asked about it, and won’t say anything more. She also adamantly refuses to talk about her personal life (This gives me 2018/19 Joe vibes, whatever that means).

3 December 2010 - Liz tweets that her favorite song on Speak Now is Last Kiss. She also tweets at Jason about his cooking:

5 December 2010 - Jake is asked about Taylor and says this:

“One of the greatest parts about being in a relationship is the intimacy you share, but it can be difficult if you’re being watched the whole time.”

This reminds me so much of what Taylor’s currently saying about Joe. Interesting, looking back on it.

7 December 2010 - Jake and Taylor do the “maple latte” pap walk stunt in Brooklyn with Maggie and her daughter. This is the only series of photos of them that I think was a set-up, but that means it’s pretty gross this is the one they chose to bring a child into:

I think the reason this was so obviously a pap walk was to get the “maple latte” in the shot. I’ve already speculated that Taylor had written All Too Well prior to her relationship with Jake, and this stunty pap walk would make sense if she needed to use him to cover for it.

8 December 2010 - Liz makes another weird vague possibly jealous tweet:

Now, in the context of Mine possibly being about Liz and Taylor saying that song is about her “tendency to run from love,” it’s possible Liz is shading Taylor’s pap walk with Jake the previous day. This tweet feels very “back before you lost the one real thing you’ve ever known.”

However, maybe she’s just really happy with Jason. I don’t know. I don’t know these people.

9 December 2010 - Taylor and Jake drive around LA, Jake yells at the paps.

Compare these to those photos with Taylor Lautner earlier in the timeline. These are not nearly as staged. Take away from that whatever you will.

13 December 2010 - Taylor turns 21. Liz and Caitlin bring her a pizza. Liz tweets at Taylor that she’s changed her life. This is supposedly the birthday that Jake didn’t show up to that The Moment I Knew is about. Liz and Caitlin bringing her pizza if she’s sad about it would make sense...

31 December 2010 - Taylor and Liz spotted together in Nashville. They get Pei Wei and JustJared calls Liz a “gal pal.” Taylor seems upset, possibly about her whole Jake birthday thing. Or possibly something else.

Liz tweets about going for a run and listening to Speak Now:

5 January 2011 - Taylor and Jake break up.

19 January 2011 - Taylor and Jake are spotted together by fans in Nashville, first at a coffee shop and then at dinner. Jake did not have any other business in Nashville, so it can be assumed he came there to talk to Taylor:

CONCLUSION: Were Taylor and Jake real? I don’t know. They really only ever did that one pap walk and didn’t seem to publicly promote each other’s work, as far as I could find, despite both releasing projects while together. The one pap walk they did seems to maybe have been to cover for All Too Well, which had possibly already been written (likely about Liz) before Jake and Taylor started dating.

Were those tweets from Liz jealousy? Or am I reading too much into it?

Either way, Taylor’s had her fun, and now it’s time to maybe start thinking about getting back together with Liz. There’s just one problem: her boyfriend.

The Speak Now Tour Begins (February 2011 - May 2011)

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brindaneer · 3 years

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Film-making, like almost every other creative endeavour, requires not just an incredible level of talent and hard work but also immense fortitude. Naturally, good films are hard to come by. Masterpieces, however, are rare. A movie is most often just a source of entertainment for viewers; at times, it is a medium of abstract communication with actors they admire. However, cinema truly becomes art only when it is able to stimulate the emotions as well as the artistic sensibilities of its audience. And Jodha Akbar does exactly that. It is without an iota of doubt, a masterpiece of the modern era that ought to be watched by art lovers across the world.

The words ‘Akbar’, ‘Jodha’ and ‘Mughal Empire’, whenever uttered in the context of Indian cinema, have been primarily associated with the all time classic ‘Mughal-e-Azam’. K. Asif’s epic directorial venture of 1960 has remained the benchmark of historical costume dramas in India since its release, not without any reason. Created on a budget of rupees 1.5 crore, considered mammoth six decades ago, Mughal-e-Azam continues to be the greatest Indian blockbuster of all time even today. It amassed roughly 11 crore rupees after its run at the box-office then, which is equivalent to about a massive 2000 crores now. Such is the film’s aura that substantial interest was generated among cine-lovers during the release of its coloured version even as late as in 2004 and 2009. Hence, those were enormous shoes that Ashutosh Gowarikar had to fit in; there was no way of escaping the comparison since the subject matters of both films were too closely related. And because it was Ashutosh Gowarikar, he succeeded.

Not only did he find the perfect story (courtesy of Haider Ali) and draft a soulful script with Haider Ali and K.P. Saxena, he also roped in musical maestro A.R. Rahman and poetic genius Javed Akhtar to take care of the ‘music and lyrics’, two attributes that were required to be absolutely flawless in a period film such as this. While Neeta Lulla’s costumes and accessories made every actor look the part, ace set designer Nitin Desai recreated the Agra and Amer forts at shooting locations with faultless precision. However, all of this could have gone to waste had Ashutosh not been able to get the perfect cast on board. Having Hrithik Roshan and Aishwarya Rai Bachchan as Mughal emperor Akbar and feisty Rajput princess Jodha respectively was nothing short of achieving an ultimate casting coup. And these two were going to be indispensable for the grand success of this colossal project, probably more so than anyone else, except the director himself.

Hrithik Roshan might have already established himself as a terrific nuanced actor in the industry by the time he signed Jodha Akbar but taking on a role which would draw comparisons with the iconic Prithviraj Kapur and the legendary Dilip Kumar himself was a challenge he was yet to undertake. Likewise, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, despite being the undisputed claimant to the title of the ‘most beautiful woman in the world’ during that time (which she still probably is) had never had her talent and beauty measured against the ethereal Madhubala before. Naturally, the burden of expectations lay as much on their shoulders as their director’s. The task at hand was going to be difficult for both but even more for Hrithik since he would be setting foot into the world of period films for the first time. His co-star had had previous experience from Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s Devdaas and Doug Lefler’s The Last Legion. The Last Legion in particular, deserves to be mentioned in this context because the sword-fighting training that Aishwarya had received for her role in that film probably helped her in Jodha Akbar too.

Despite not having the advantage of prior experience, Hrithik, like a true artist, owned the character of Akbar, making it seem like he had been playing historical characters all his life. His body-language, attitude, diction, voice modulation and movements were so attuned to someone of Akbar's stature that it took real effort to remember that the latter was a separate person. In a promotional interview before the film’s release, Ashutosh Gowarikar revealed how amazing an experience it was for him to see Hrithik get into the skin of the most famous Mughal of all time with an approach that was a combination of preparedness and spontaneity. Aishwarya too gave everything to the role of Jodha, and made this her career best performance since ‘Provoked’. Anyone who has watched ‘Jodha Akbar’ will agree that it is impossible to even imagine other people playing these two characters. If praise of the common man is not credible enough, let it also be known that Dilip Kumar saab himself was impressed by Hrithik’s versatility as an actor after watching the film at a special screening arranged for him by Ashutosh. He also admitted that the film had rekindled memories of the Magnum Opus ‘Mughal-e- Azam’ for him. Aishwarya too received immense praise for her performance as Jodha from critics, audience and industry colleagues alike.

Although comparisons between Mughal- e- Azam and Jodha Akbar were inevitable, it must be noted that both films dealt with very different aspects of Akbar’s life. While the older classic was about the aged Akbar’s conflicted relationship with his son Salim over the latter’s love affair with Anarkali, a courtesan renowned for her exquisite beauty, Gowarikar’s Jodha Akbar depicted the love story between the young emperor and his first wife, the Rajput princess Jodha. The similarity between both films, apart from Akbar and the Mughals, lay in the fact that the identities of both Anarkali and Jodha had been a matter of contention amongst historians since decades. However, staying true to his meticulous nature, Ashutosh correctly issued a statement explaining that it was not his intention to disrespect any one; Jodha was one among the several historically mentioned names of Akbar’s Rajput wife and it had been chosen in the film over the rest due to its considerable popularity among commoners. Ashutosh was also very clear about the love story between Akbar and Jodha being completely fictional since no such account had ever been documented in history. Basically, the film was a fiction set against a historical backdrop, and as far as that setting was concerned, Ashutosh tried to be as accurate as possible, building a story around events that had been recorded in the Akbarnama.

Now that we have given the prelude, it is time to experience the film all over again, and we hope that prospect excites our readers. ‘Jodha Akbar’ opens with the second battle of Panipat that took place in 1556 A.D. between Mughal forces led by the child Emperor Jalaluddin Mohammad’s regent, Bairam Khan, and King Hemu. After defeating the latter, the Mughals were able to recapture the throne of Delhi. The war scenes are all flawlessly directed, keeping in mind the period and style of warfare adopted during that time, something that is naturally expected from a director whose resume boasts of films like ‘Lagaan’ and ‘Swades’. By the time Hrithik appears on the silver screen in one of the most challenging roles of his life, six years have elapsed and Jalal is an adult. Demonstrating his terrific grasp of the character, Hrithik sweeps the audience off their feet as Jalal finally sends Bairam Khan away to Mecca after stopping him from beheading the unarmed defeated opponent, and effectively takes over the administration of ‘Hindustan’ ('Ab apne faisle hum khud lena chahte hain'). Hrithik’s portrayal of Jalal’s suppressed rage as well as authority in this scene was a delight to watch then, and remains so even after all these years. As Jalal plans to annex the entire Rajputana, we are introduced to the other half of the film’s title, princess Jodha. Adept at sword-fighting, having learnt the skill from her cousin Sujamal (played beautifully by the talented Sonu Sood), Gowarikar’s Jodha is the perfect example of ‘beauty with brains’. Aishwarya is as graceful at sword-fighting as she usually is while dancing and imbibes the exact body language required to play a Rajput princess aptly.

Staying loyal to historical facts, Ashutosh Gowarikar depicts Jodha and Jalal’s marriage just as it actually was- a politically motivated alliance. Troubled by Jalal’s over-ambitious brother-in-law Sharifuddin, Jodha’s father, the King of Amer, requests Jalal to marry his daughter so that Amer could obtain Mughal security (In the film, Raja Bharmal of Amer sees Jalal for the first time as he tames a wild elephant in a superbly executed action sequence. Hrithik obviously did it himself, and in order to ensure his safety, he used to feed the said elephant regularly before the shooting of this particular scene took place). Her father’s decision comes as a rude shock to the young Jodha who does not want to compromise her culture after marriage, and is therefore left devastated. Despite not being completely sure about the proposal initially, Jalal eventually agrees to it in front of the Dargah of Khwaja Moinuddin Chisti as he realizes that this inter-faith marriage may be of assistance in promoting religious harmony throughout the country. In a beautiful monologue, he admits to the Khwaja that religious differences were the reason why previous rulers had not been able to establish their rule over the entire ‘Hindustan’; he believes his marriage with Jodha shall solve that problem.

However, Jodha’s decision is yet to come. She is not a stereotypical submissive sixteenth century female, unable to stand up for her own rights. Instead, she is brave enough to summon the Mughal emperor to her tent and lay two conditions in front of him, the fulfilment of which, is mandatory for her agreement with this new association (the famous ‘Humari do maange hain’ scene). First, she does not want to be forced into giving up her religion and customs; second, she wants a temple to be built inside her room in the Mughal palace for her spiritual guide, Lord Krishna. Aishwarya is enthralling in this scene; her calm yet rigid posture and polite yet bold speech are worth watching. Hrithik is simply magnigficent here; no other adjective is suitable enough to describe his phenomenal performance as Jalal hears Jodha out and later recounts the two demands to her relatives and rest of the entourage. He obviously goes on to accept these demands, his respect for Jodha increasing in leaps and bounds at her fearlessness and simplicity (‘Amer ki Rajkumari ke bekhawf jasbe aur saadgi ko hum salaam karte hain’). Naturally, Jodha has no other option left other than agreeing to the marriage.

Had the director wanted, the wedding could have been an elaborate dramatic affair, but Ashutosh Gowarikar is not just another director looking for success through gimmicks. The grand wedding sequence lasts only for about a few seconds during which Jodha and Jalal wed each other as per both Hindu and Islamic traditions in an exemplary display of socio-religious amalgamation. Any extra time devoted to this would have been unnecessary and detrimental to the pace of the movie. After the wedding, a group of Sufi singers perform the utterly captivating ‘Khwaja mere Khwaja’, one of A.R. Rahman’s all time best compositions, in probably the most poetic Hindi film sequence of recent times. Such was its impact upon Mr. Bachchan that he termed it the ‘most apocalyptic moment’ in cinema since the great Stanley Kubrik’s ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’. It is not just the song that casts a spell upon the audience during this scene; rather, the direction and acting, in conjunction with the soulful music engender a near hypnotic effect among viewers which last in their minds forever. Hrithik’s expressions as Jalal experiences a spiritual epiphany and joins the Sufis in a trance are simply fascinating. He is a privilege to watch. The scene is an acting masterclass in itself and had he received every existing accolade for this moment alone, it would still not have been unfair.

Jodha and Jalal’s first night together is another instance of the subtlety that this film ceaselessly displays. Jalal, perceptive enough to understand that Jodha’s unyielding attitude towards his romantic gestures is not shyness in disguise, but unwillingness to be with him, has the perfect solution- she is free to leave him if that is what she wants. However, once again giving proof of her simplicity and honesty, Jodha directly confesses that she has no intention whatsoever of walking out of this relationship despite her inhibitions towards it; for her it is an unbreakable bond that shall last unto death. Respecting her wishes, Jalal vows to never be intimate with her against her will. Hrithik and Aishwarya’s acting styles truly compliment Ashutosh’s direction as is evident from this scene among many others in the film; without an ounce of melodrama, they are able to set the stage for an epic love story ridden not just with external impediments but personal inhibitions as well.

The rest of the movie is basically a collection of beautiful moments between the two leads, interspersed with an optimal amount of drama to propel the plot. The first sequence post their marriage that needs to be discussed in detail is the Deewan-E- Aam scene followed by the part wherein Jalal and Jodha see each other's faces without a curtain or ‘ghoonghat’ in between. As Jalal conducts his first hearing at the Deewan-E-Aam after his marriage to the Hindu Jodha, he, quite expectedly, faces opposition from the Ulemas of the court regarding his decision. However, before he is able to solve the problem at hand, the melodious voice of his newly wed bride distracts him, thereby interrupting the court proceedings. The expressions on everyone's face are worth watching as Jalal leaves his throne and begins to walk out of the court, clearly too engrossed to even officially dismiss everyone present. Realization hits him a bit too late, leaving him embarrassed in front of the entire Deewan-E-Aam, but he manages to salvage the situation by uttering an awkward 'Takliya'. This entire scene is once again a brilliant testimony to the skills of the director who expertly incorporates subtle humour in such a serious scene without overdoing any of it or making it seem farcical. Hrithik's performance here is admirable, his comic timing being absolutely flawless. Drawn by Jodha's entrancing voice, Jalal enters her 'Mahal' and they see each other for the first time in what was arguably the most romantic meeting sequence of Bollywood then and has been so since the last two decades. Ashutosh does not provide the actors with any dialogues here, who, therefore, rely completely on facial expressions to convey their feelings towards each other. Hrithik has been a master in expressions since he first entered the industry and in this scene, he is at his nuanced best. But Aishwarya is no less, and that is precisely why their interaction looks so natural and enchanting. With tiny eye gestures and body postures, they express admiration for each other's physical appearance, their eyes speaking a thousand words at once. The part where she wants him to put sindur on her, and he fails to understand initially, is such a wonderful portrayal of his willingness to understand and respect her culture that it strikes a chord with one and all.

For Jalal, it is almost love at first sight. Though completely smitten by her, he knows instinctively that Jodha is going to take more time, no matter how impressed she is with him. In the next few minutes, Ashutosh shows Jalal and Jodha gradually treading the first steps of love with Javed Ali's mellifluous voice ringing in the background. 'Kehne ko jashn-e-bahara hai, ishq ye dekh ke hairaan hai, phool se khushboo khafa khafa hai gulshan mein, chupa hai koi ranj fiza ki chilman mein'. When the inimitable Javed Akhtar is in charge of lyrics, songs get transformed into dialogues and help the story to march forward. Jashn-e-bahara does just that, and does so exquisitely. It challenges the notion that romantic scenes must always entail physical intimacy, and proves that sometimes a look or a smile is worth much more. Most of the credit for this should go to Hrithik and Aishwarya who defy every existing idea about screen chemistry by making heartbeats race even through mundane acts such as walking side by side while glancing furtively at each other, or smiling in embarrassment as they sit miles apart in a garden. Who says old-fashioned romance is always boring? When two individuals are able to set silver-screens ablaze by just standing together in one frame, every trivial action becomes exciting.

Scattered in between their light-hearted romantic moments during this prolonged sequence are two ‘more important’ ones. The first one depicts Jalal in an angry mood as he admonishes Maham Anga’s son Adham Khan when the latter dares to insult Jodha; as his awe-inspiring authoritative ‘Khabardar Adham, Rajkumari ka naam adab se lo. Ye na bhulo ki ab wo Malika- e- Hindustaan hain’ echoes through the silent night and reaches Jodha, she understands the extent of his respect for her and there is an expression of happy pride on her countenance. The second is probably everyone’s guilty pleasure and inspired multiple ‘tele-serial adaptations’ back in the day; while Jalal practices moves with the sword bare-bodied, Jodha suddenly catches sight of his chiselled body and cannot stop staring. In a brilliant directorial move, Ashutosh makes her put the plate of worship down so that she can actually concentrate on the view better 😂😁🤩🤩. Aishwarya is terrific here, portraying Jodha’s attraction to her husband perfectly although in an extremely nuanced manner. Of course when the man in question is Hrithik Roshan, it helps. Jalal is shrewd enough to notice his ‘wifey dearest’ and catches her off guard by turning around suddenly after which the poor girl hastily draws the curtains. Hrithik’s mischievious look is a treat to eyes! But seriously, how mean of him to intrude upon his wife’s private moment of ‘adoring her husband’ that way?🤪🤪

Being one of the best directors in the industry, Ashutosh Gowarikar ensures that his film contains the right mix of romance and drama. The first instance of drama in the movie since the wedding is provided by Maham Anga, Jalal’s ‘Badi Ammi’ (played by the exceptional Ila Urun) a politically shrewd woman, whose possessiveness for her foster son and displeasure at the advent of a strong-willed intelligent Rajput princess into the fort of Agra makes her vindictive towards the said person. When Jodha decides to prepare authentic Rajput food herself after Jalal orders a ‘Rajputi Daawat’ on the day of ‘Peer’ in her honour, Maham Anga spews venom at her through harsh words and accuses her of trying to establish control over the kitchen, and eventually Jalal himself. Jodha, although shocked, gives her befitting replies, and ultimately completes the entire cooking by herself. The scene that follows could easily have been a disaster if it had been handled by an ordinary director; it could have been an excruciatingly slow and boring sequence testing the patience of the audience. The fact that it is one of the most interesting parts of the entire film is a measure of Ashutosh Gowarikar’s genius. Substantial credit must also be given to the actors including supporting ones without whom Ashutosh might not have been able to produce the desired outcome in this scene ultimately. However, this scene belongs to Aishwarya Rai Bachchan. Her shock at being insulted by Maham Anga when she asks her to taste the food before serving it to the emperor, rage as she turns to her husband for support, and suppressed anger as well as sadness when she realizes that there is no way out are nothing short of mesmerizing. Her genuine happiness when Jalal decides to have food from the same plate she has eaten and her sly look towards Maham Anga are a sight to behold. Truly, Aishwarya is probably one of the most underrated actresses in our industry; she is fantastic but does not always get the due credit for it. Most of the time, it is her beauty and personality that gets talked about. Nevertheless, she is a terrific actress too and we sincerely hope people acknowledge that more often. Hrithik supports her fascinatingly throughout the scene, his eyes showing anger, helplessness and embarrassment at his wife’s insult flawlessly. It is the mark of a great actor to allow his co-actors to soar when the scene requires so. In an old interview, while explaining why Aishwarya was his favourite co-star, Hrithik said that they had very similar working styles which made them more compatible with each other; according to him, both of them were more concerned with the larger picture, and did not care if they were being given importance in every frame or not. This particular scene is the perfect example of that working style he was talking about.

The ‘Rajputi Dawat’ sequence changes something between Jodha and Akbar; they have managed to cross that initial threshold of hesitation towards each other. However, just when they are gradually coming closer, circumstances and people pull them apart. When Adham Khan murders one of Jalal’s most trustworthy ministers, Shamsuddin-Muhammad-Atgah-Khan, and intrudes into the emperor’s personal premises with a sword, the latter tackles him and orders royal guards to throw the traitor with his head downwards into the ground below. When he is only half dead after the first fall, Jalal, showing his cruel side, orders his soldiers to bring Adham up to the roof so that they can throw him down again. Future generations will remember Hrithik for this scene among many; he is spectacular here with a stance that is completely majestic and a face that exudes rage and grief in equal measure. He was actually able to generate tangible fear amongst the audience back when the film had released; we still remember the collective gasp at the theatre during this scene. This is also the first time Jodha gets acquainted with Jalal’s darker side. Until this moment, she had known him as a gentle, understanding young man; now she sees him as capable of being cruel to someone. Aishwarya’s portrayal of fear is spot on and subtle with no melodrama whatsoever, for which the director also deserves praise.

The next scene had actually been deleted from the movie to manage its length but we genuinely feel it should have been included due to its significance. Horrified at Jalal’s action, Jodha confronts him in a terrific angsty sequence only to realize that Jalal is mourning the loss of a father figure in Shamsuddin-Muhammad-Atgah-Khan. Hrithik is superlative as Jalal breaks down and confesses to his wife about being orphaned again. This is the most tender moment both have yet experienced, and that realization is clearly etched upon Jodha’s face, who gives her heart-broken husband sound advice. She understands why he killed Adham, but asks him to apologize in front of Maham Anga, despite all the troubles the latter has created for her. We surely would not have minded sitting in the theatre for a few extra minutes to watch this brilliant scene Mr. Gowarikar!

The scene wherein Jalal explains his behaviour to Maham Anga is one of the most important sequences in the film for multiple reasons. Firstly, the acting is phenomenal; emotions have always been Hrithik’s forte and what do we say about Ila Urun? We are probably not qualified enough. So, its better to just bow our heads in respect and keep quiet. Second, this is when Maham Anga is able to instigate Jalal against Jodha by feeding him false information. She shows him a container of poison that her spy had extracted from Jodha’s personal belongings earlier and lies that his wife may be planning to harm him. In reality, Jodha’s mother had given her the poison so that she could kill herself if she feared of being dishonoured by her husband after the marriage. Maham Anga also misleads him by talking about a letter that Jodha has written to Rajkumar Ratan Singh, the Rajput prince, she had been betrothed to since her childhood. This letter had actually been written by Jodha to her cousin Sujamal, who had left Amer after being denied the throne. In the letter, Jodha had requested him to rescue her from being married off to the Mughal emperor. However, she had never sent it. After finding it in Jodha’s room, Maham Anga sends it to Sujamal, to take advantage of the situation and create a rift between Jalal and his wife. Unfortunately, this diabolical ploy works because of Jalal’s blind trust in his ‘Badi Ammi’. Upon receiving the letter, Sujamal believes it to be genuine, and goes to the Agra fort at night without caring about the risk. Jodha comes out to meet him, surprised at this sudden visit, but assures him that she is happy with Jalal. To her misfortune, her husband, who has never seen Sujamal or Ratan Singh before believes the intruder to be the latter and sends soldiers to capture him. Sujamal escapes, but only after thinking that Jodha deliberately called him there to be arrested. Meanwhile, Jalal accuses her of plotting with Ratan Singh behind his back. Outraged and shocked at this humiliation, Jodha tells him that Maham Anga is the one who has caused this entire misunderstanding. When Jalal refuses to believe her, she asks what punishment he has in mind. And, he tells her to go back to her parental house! Jodha naturally feels terribly insulted at his decision, and decides to leave him and protect her self-respect! This is a wonderfully executed sequence with the two leads reacting to each other masterfully, and turning it into one of the best angsty interactions ever. This was also the moment that Ashutosh chose as the point of intermission, a sound decision obviously because to be very honest, by this time the audience was indeed in need of some food and drinks 😄😄. On a serious note, this was a watershed moment in the lives of our two lead characters, and a perfect opportunity to take a break and come back refreshed.

Any analysis of Gowarikar’s Jodha Akbar is bound to be elaborate simply because it is impossible to designate any scene from the film as unimportant or bad. It is not for nothing that we termed this film a masterpiece at the beginning of this blog. Every second of it is still a pleasure to the senses and deserves mention. However, for the purpose of your sanity and ours (not to mention the time constraint), it is vital that we take an ‘interval’ too, and analyse the second part of the movie in a separate blog. Don’t worry, we will not take too long. So au revoir as the French say ; hopefully you will bestow your good wishes upon us once again like you have till now.❤️❤️

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unmaskedagain · 4 years

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Demon princess

Yesterday someone asked me what anime show I liked. And it got me to realizing that while I like quite a few anime shows; I never did a crossover for with Ladybug. So I got thinking which anime I should use. My first instinct was Sailor Moon; first anime I ever loved. Hell first show I ever loved, I started watching it when I was four-years-old (I have older sisters). Then I briefly considered Death Note. Maybe a pairing with Marinette/light. It didn’t work out my head. Finally it hit me… And then it completely got away from me. Reminding me why I don’t fuck with anime when it comes to fan fiction. Not my best work but its was a neat idea.

When her mom told her that her grandfather and her great uncle was coming to town; Marinette panicked. In fact, she had a full blown panic attack. There was no way she was going to get out of this.

Her mother didn’t speak too much to her father. They had a complicated relationship. Sabine had grown up in China with her mother, while her father resided near Japan, having been born and raised there, in a small country he ruled as king. Only demons resided there.

He had been a cold, stoic man with little interests in the affairs of humans. He certainly didn’t understand why his beloved daughter chose to be around them. However, he had been outright furious when he discovered Sabine had eloped with one and ran off to France. They didn’t speak for almost a decade.

The silence was only broken when Sabine told her Uncle that she was expecting a child. And half-human or not, Sesshōmaru would be there to welcome his grandchild into the pack. Inuyasha had tagged along to keep an eye on his older brother. Though the older Inu Daiyōkai may have become more tolerable of humans but that didn’t mean he didn’t still have few nasty streaks. Honestly, Inuyasha didn’t trust his brother not to just slaughter Tom Dupain as soon as he met him. The demon lord turned King would have to deal with the unfortunate tales of the Princess who ran off with the Baker; as if it was some foolish romantic tale.

Somehow, Sesshōmaru remained perfectly polite if more than just a bit standoffish. He outright glared at times. However, he remained in France for months while he waited for his grandchild to be born. Subtly hinting to his daughter, that it would be better to raise the pup among their own kind.

Then little Marinette Kagura Dupain-Cheng with blue locks, slanted bluer eyes, pointed ears, two magenta stripes on each cheek, and a magenta stripe on each eyelid, and a purple crescent moon on her forehead identical to the one her grandfather had. The baby girl was clearly a demon, a half-demon, but a demon nonetheless.

The moment Sesshōmaru held his grandchild, he was hers, “She is strong, and will only grow more powerful,” He told his exhausted offspring. “You did well daughter.”

“It takes two to tango,” Tom laughed.

Inuyasha just shook his head, “You’re not dead. Don’t push this.”

Over the next few years, Marinette spent most of her childhood split between her parents’ and her grandfather’s palace. Thanks to Shippo’s magic, it was only a portal away. She spent a lot of her summers there too. It was different when Marinette stayed with her Grandfather. She was different.

For starters, she was a princess and was expected to behave like one. She was a daiyōkai and was expected to act like; keep her emotions controlled and her word precise. When she was five-years-old, her grandfather presented her with two swords made from two of his fangs as a birthday present because, yeah, that was a thing demons did. One sword healed, the other destroyed. Though both swords were the same size; sword that destroyed had been too heavy for her to properly wield. She had to work for years to properly know how to use it. It was powerful and could slaughter a dozen foes with a swing. The sword that healed had seemed rather useless in comparison. It took her years to understand it was, by its very nature, the more powerful of the two.

When she wasn’t training, she was learning to rule. Demons lived a long life but things happened. It was best to be prepared.

It was at her Uncle’s insistence that Marinette, just recently turned six, be introduced to playmates of her own age. That was when Marinette learned something; everyone in the palace was employed by her grandfather. In addition, they were all lower demons subject to his rule and of any royal standing.

The demons with royal standing, children who Inuyasha said were Marinette’s equals, to which Sesshomaru pointed out his granddaughter had to equal, behaved different.

The kids were haughty, arrogant, and sometimes mean for the sake of being mean to anyone of lesser standing in the demon world.

The first was the son of Prince Koga, a wolf demon and a minor prince who kept his title because of tradition alone; his name was Hyōga. Prince Hyōga, was older than Marinette by a year, with auburn hair and red eyes, and had eyed the smaller girl with interest.

“Heard your father’s a human,” He said the word as if it taste foul on his tongue.

In the background, Koga face palmed. In youngest son would get their entire pack killed. Inuyasha glared at his old friend; plotting his death.

“Yes,” Marinette said. “I heard you were name after a giant moth.”

Hyōga sputtered, “What do you know? You’re just a girl!”

“Don’t make me the bug spray.”

It was the start of a rather tense friendship; similar to the one Koga and Inuyasha had centuries ago.

The second was a dragon demon named Kagami; an emotionless girl whose bloodline once rivaled Marinette’s. Marinette had tried to be nice, fearing her uncle world bring the wolf prince back, but Kagami didn’t warm up to her attempts. Finally, Marinette noticed Kagami attention to Marinette’s sword. So she led the other girl to training yard, threw her sword, and said, “I win, we have tea-party. You win, I’ll show you grandfather’s war room.” Then the battle was on. Every time, Kagami would visit, they’d have another duel to see what they did for the day. Both families were pleased at this.

The next was an ice demon from England; a prissy, blond, name Magnolia who was two years older and, who Marinette knew, only tolerated Marinette’s unladylike behavior because she was a princess.

Then there was the playmate that actually required Marinette to leave the palace and venture to Japan. This meant that she had to hide her demon features like she did when she was in public in Paris.

The boy’s name was Izumo, a decedent of Sango, a legendary demon slayer and Inuyasha’s friend. He was very serious, older than Marinette by four years, and seemed to take it as a personal insult a six-year-old, even a demon one, could best him in a fight. Marinette just wondered exactly what her uncle thought “close in age” meant.

However, her favorite playmates turned out to be Shippo’s grandchildren; both half-human. They both lived in France. One was her age, named Juleka, and the other an older boy named Luka.

As Marinette got older and her visits to her grandfather’s decreased to twice a month during the school year and every summer. Her grandfather was under the belief that Marinette went to a school with other demons, and while technically that was true; there were almost two dozen others demons, it was primarily a human school. Strike one. Her grandfather would only be mildly annoyed.

Kwami and the miraculous, both banned from her grandfather’s kingdom, was active in Paris. The banning of the little gods happened after the destruction of the greatest creation Shikon no Tama. A little marble that nearly ended the world and caused great pain for Inuyasha and his friends for years. After they left, no one knew what had happened to Kwami. As long as they never made another jewel, no one wanted to know.

Except they did make another jewel; earrings, a ring, a bangle, a hair comb, a broach, and so many different objects. Two of which had the power that rival the form Shikon Jewel.

Marinette never told her grandfather that the Kwami and resurfaced and apparently didn’t learn their lesson the first time around. Strike two. Her grandfather just went from annoyed to beyond angry.

Finally, Marinette decided to follow in her Uncle’s footsteps, band together a ragtag group, to stop a dark villain hell-bent on united the two most power Miraculous for gods’ know what reason. And she actively dresses up as superhero to defend the lives of humans. It was why she always wore her hair down around the older demons. Strike Three. Grandfather’s snarly mad with blood red eyes, ready to kill. And Marinette? Marinette is so out its not even funny.

When Sesshōmaru arrived in Paris, Inuyasha on his right, he immediately sensed great power. An ancient power. When he arrived at the bakery, his daughter and granddaughter and the man they lived with (“Oh for hell’s sake, His name is Tom,” Inuyasha snapped. “Sabine’s husband. Marinette’s father.”), he raised an eyebrow at the power radiating from the place, stalked right passed his the three, up to his granddaughter’s room, if it could be called that. Marinette right on his tail.

The room looked normal at first, if far too small. However, it took the demon king five seconds to locate the source of power.

He held up the squirming Kwami between his claws, “Explain, now!” Sesshomaru ordered. His eyes flashed red.

Inuyasha looked at the red creature, Tikki, he remembered was the goddess of creation’s name. His claws extended at the memory of all he had been put through and all he had lost because Plagg and Tikki decided to create something that should’ve never existed in the first place.

Sabine and Tom looked confused. Sabine knew what the creature was, had seen pictures of it, but it was centuries before her time. She always assumed the power that radiated came from Marinette.

Marinette glanced down for a moment before steeling herself, and looking up at her grandfather with a proud raised head. She tucked her hair behind her ear and revealed her jewelry.

All hell broke loose.

“AGAIN!” Inuyasha roared, going full demon mode.

“My grandchild,” Sesshomaru snarled at the being, who looked rather petulant, “You dare!”

Inuyasha’s fist went through a wall, “You don’t learn your lessons well, do ya?” He asked Tikki.

“The world needs heroes,” Tikki crossed her arms.

Marinette stepped forward, “It was my choice. There’s a villain that holds another jewel, he must be stopped before he destroys us all.”

“Another Naruku,” Sesshomaru hissed.

“No,” Marinette denied. “He’s human. I fought him before. I know that much. The miraculous hide his overall scent but he bleeds like anyone else. And his is human.”

Inuyasha turned red eyes to his niece, “And then this will be quick.”

#ml salt #ml fic #marinette dupen chang #Marinette deserves better #inuyasha

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insanityclause · 4 years

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There are few directors who toy with the conventions as Guillermo del Toro does, and there’s no question that he puts his own unique stamp on several genres he clearly adores in the 2015 film Crimson Peak. Gothic romance, horror story, twisted fairy tale, and bodice-ripper – the film has it all. Del Toro’s vision comes through in every frame, much like the eponymous location, which oozes red and looms above all else, including the characters.

We learn the name of the rotting estate far before we learn the name of our heroine Edith Cushing (Mia Wasikowska), the demurely optimistic, aspiring writer who is the child of a self-made business tycoon (Jim Beaver) in early 20th century America. She may take after her father in her disdain for those who inherited their wealth – ironic being that she’s an heiress herself – but she’s nevertheless swept off her feet in a passionate whirlwind romance when the English baronet Tom Hiddleston… errr… Thomas Sharpe comes to town, the very man her (dead) mother warned her about.

Hardly surprising it didn’t take, given Hiddleston’s charms, and the fact that the film takes pains to state that Edith could be the belle of many a ball… if she didn’t scorn the frivolities all the other female characters take so seriously, often belittling Edith for her bookish interests. Sometimes it’s easy to forget how often female characters lacked friends of the same gender until about 2016.

When Edith and Thomas marry and she’s taken to her to new husband’s ancestral estate, the titular Crimson Peak, that’s when del Toro is in glorious peak form. It’s also when the film’s flaws really rise up, much like the specters who immediately make themselves known to Edith and guide her in deciphering the various secrets Thomas and his sister Lucille (Jessica Chastain) are hiding.

And they’re clearly hiding something. Crimson Peak may have plenty of modern touches and make full use of all the effects thereof, but there’s not a sneer or a smirk to be found. The film wears its bloody heart on its sleeve, unafraid of its own sincerity as the plot unfolds, with plenty of revelations, but few surprises. There’s no doubt that “ghosts are real,” as Edith states in the beginning, and anyone expecting shocking, upending plots twists will be quite disappointed.

There’s also little doubt as to who the real villain is, and why many reviewers cited Rebecca and Jane Eyre (one version of which also starred Wasikowska) as clear influences. Both feature young, strong, yet naive heroines who must contend with older, worldly, deeply sexual women as obstacles to the happiness awaiting them, and Edith is certainly in that heroic mold. With her bright blonde hair, yellow dresses, the way her hands tremble as she wanders fearfully alone through her creepily oppressive home holding aloft a lit candelabra, she is the innocent virgin, the victim we always sympathize with. How could we help ourselves?

Since this is a film with few surprises and no subtlety, it’s hardly shocking that her main oppressor Lucille Sharpe isn’t just Edith’s opposite, but everything society tells women not to be: deeply sexual, filled with rage, and perhaps most crucially, older, unmarried, and sans children. From the moment we meet her, black-haired and wrapped in a red dress as she plays a darkly beautiful tune on the piano with icy precision, she embodies the Sharpe home and its unsavory history.

Thomas may be a fully aware, willing participant in their crimes, but Lucille is the one who gets her hands dirty and disposes of their many victims, with Chastain throwing herself into the role and quickly becoming the standout as Lucille and Edith play their deadly game, each trying to survive the other.

Make no mistake, it’s not just Edith battling for survival as the siblings slowly poison her on their isolated estate, which seems to ooze blood as it slowly sinks into the red clay beneath. What Crimson Peak fails to recognize, even as it provides plenty of motives for Lucille’s actions and occasionally grants her moments of vulnerability, is that Lucille’s life is at stake too, and not just for her crimes, which have been many and grisly.

For all her privilege, she is a woman with few resources and opportunities, who endured a childhood of physical and emotional abuse. Conversations reveal how much physical violence was a fixture in the life of her and her brother, with their mother regularly beating them both with a cane, and whose father beat her so severely he broke her leg and left her bedridden for a time.

And yet Lucille is the one society expects to nurse her abuser back to health (and did). She also receives the majority of the blame not just for the crimes she and her brother commit, but for their incestuous relationship. Thomas has the face of a tortured angel as he becomes more and more conflicted, even partly redeemed when he eventually attempts to save Edith from his sister. Hiddleston is more than up to the challenge, and it’s hard to picture other actors so convincingly pulling this off and earning our sympathy.

That Edith does survive (women like her always make it to the end) is mostly thanks to her childhood friend Alan (Charlie Hunnam), who harbors an unrequited love for her and investigates. Edith may have deduced what was happening, but she’s no match for Lucille, who not only outwits her at every turn but is fully aware of how toxic the love she and Thomas have for each other is.

The truth is that Lucille is the character who most closely resembles a victim of abuse. Lucille is constantly in survival mode, believes that love is finite in a fundamentally harsh and unjust world, and most tragically, continues the cycle of violence by inflicting it upon others, whether it’s her own mother, or the women Thomas marries for their money and she disposes of, and whose situations bear an unsettling resemblance to her own. All of them were wealthy women with no living relatives to look for them, with their dreams of a better life long since abandoned.

Similarly, Lucille’s solace both during and after her abuse is Thomas, the only one who shared her pain. The night he and Edith spend away from Crimson Peak and consummate their marriage is when Lucille has a small breakdown as she realizes she’s losing the only person she was ever able to love, as well as her sole source of economic support.

Pick up any Jane Austen novel and you’ll find entire plots set in motion by young brides who were less than sympathetic to their husbands’ spinster relations. And Chastain isn’t just more interesting than any blushing bride, it’s compulsively fascinating to watch her smile and be a villain in the mold of the best Shakespeare antagonists. So larger than life is she that even the decaying mansion which creaks and groans at every turn as if mourning the various sins it houses can swallow her up. No wonder the ghosts aren’t that frightening — they’re merely the direct results of the evil deeds the living commit, many of whom are just as frozen in time as the deceased who haunt their halls.

Not that Edith doesn’t deserve our sympathy, but how could she really compare? Del Toro knows it, and he’s fully aware of who should have the last word, if not the last lines. Lucille may not find peace even in death, but it’s nevertheless her fate to remain a formidable presence in the place where her greatest pain and her greatest joys are gruesomely intertwined, determined to remain in the past in a world that left her behind long ago.

#Crimson Peak #Tom Hiddleston #Jessica Chastain #Mia Wasikowska #guillermo del toro

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shuttershocky · 4 years

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@friendliest-human Oh boy get ready

Apologies in advance for the long post there's no Read More on mobile. I'll edit it later i promise.

So like, Team Fortress 2 is a Spy-Fi set in the 60's, where two businessmen, brothers Redmond and Blutarch Mann, wage war over the right to be the sole owners of their inheritance, which their father explicitly left for them to share.

Thing is, this war had been going on since the 1800's. The Brothers Mann had invested in both the cutting edge of technology and the greatest mercenaries on Earth in order to both extend their lifespans and kill the other.

While doing so, both men hired a woman, The Administrator, to direct their forces. Playing both sides, The Administrator locked them into a stalemate to last several generations of assassins, manipulating the brother's fortunes and amusing herself with the unending bloodsport.

Now the thing is, the world of Team Fortress isn't quite the same as ours. Australia is the single most technologically advanced country, due to it being the only source of Australium in the world. A mineral that looks exactly like a bar of gold with a man punching a kangaroo on it, exposure to Australium turned even the biggest moron into an engineering genius with massive muscles, a big mustache, and bushy chest hair in the shape of Australia. It turned, in The Administrator's words, "a nation of idiots" into the most powerful force on the planet, and she used the Mann's fortunes in order to study it and used it to create their life-extending technology.

Speaking of idiots, the current crop of mercenaries are the most unstable and ridiculous batch yet. Nine of the dumbest, deadliest men in their history, all gathered to fight over what is by the 1960's a completely worthless plot of land.

Scout is a young American (specifically Boston) guy who can barely read, loves baseball enough to go to war with a bat, and was created by God to have sex with every woman on Earth. He's not very succesful in that regard. He has a crush on the Administrator's assistant, Miss Pauling. The middle child in a large family, he learned that the only way for him to ever get attention was to arrive first and be as loud and annoying as possible. He also has the amazing ability to defy physics and double jump.

Soldier is a rocket launcher using American soldier, who is heavily brain damaged due to drinking water filled with lead. He's paranoid, violent, and very stupid, but an incredible combatant and a master of rocket jumping, or the act of shooting your feet with a rocket and riding the blast upward. His roommate was the dark wizard Merasmus, who his team must battle every Halloween. He once fought a bear naked and covered in honey, and won. He also once put the whole team in mortal danger by creating a massive bread monster.

Pyro is a mask wearing pyromaniac who terrifies everyone else. Nobody knows who they are, what they're saying, or knows what they look like under the mask. Their teammates believe they are a monster and the most cruel being on Earth. Secretly, Pyro is literally unable to comprehend violence and sees the world through rainbow lens. Their axe is a big lollipop and their enemies are baby angels, and their flamethrower is a bubble blower, and they're playing around and making friends with everyone.

Heavy is a big Russian man with a bigger minigun. He's the most normal and well-adjusted of the mercs, being a fan of Russian literature, teddy bears, and good food. He is however, prone to temper tantrums and he enjoys danger a little too much. His best friend and constant partner is the Medic. His English is slightly broken, but nobody dares make fun of it in fear of their bones getting very broken. Later on the comics introduce his little sister, who's also a gigantic woman with an even greater dangerlust than he does. She gets engaged to the Soldier after they kill a few dozen men together with their bare hands. Heavy is not pleased.

Demoman is a black, Scottish explosives expert with only one eye. Despite being a raging alcoholic, he is shown to be the most succesful of the mercs, being extremely rich and housing his mother in a giant castle. He is however, a great shame to his family, who pride themselves on losing both their eyes in battle. Despite Demoman trying his best, he's simply too good a fighter to lose his other eye in combat, and his mother berates him for this daily. He's also very skilled with a sword and shield, and can build to be a melee fighter. He lost his missing eye after discovering the Bombnomicon, Merasmus' cursed spellbook, and enchanting his eye into a bomb spewing monster. His team does battle with his haunted eye every Halloween. He and Soldier used to be best friends, but suffered a bad breakup through The Administrator's manipulation.

Engineer is the grandson of the first man the Administrator dosed with Australium. A mechanical genius from Texas, his sentry guns, teleporters, dispensers, and occasional cyborg arm are often the biggest nuisances in the game. Like the Heavy, he's quite normal and well-adjusted, although maybe TOO well-adjusted to all the bullshit.

Medic is a quack doctor from Germany whose lack of morales is only matched by the sheer insanity of whatever the fuck he's up to. Having lost his medical license ages ago, he implanted his teammates with megababoon hearts in order for them to survive the steroids his medigun hits them with (which he calls ubercharge). He once sold his soul to the devil for a pen, and then scammed him in order to revive from death. He has a pet pigeon called Archimedes that he sometimes leaves inside his teammates' bodies. He keeps the severed heads of his enemies alive and inside his fridge, where they can talk to him and beg for death. He's very close with the Heavy.

Sniper is the one Australian who doesn't sport a giant mustache and a giant chest. An extremely professional assassin, he seems alright at first... Until you realize he makes bombs out of his pee. He's very focused on his job and may be a little paranoid; one of his personal rules is to have a plan to kill absolutely every single person he ever meets. He's also skilled with a bow, and likes to fight with kukri knives.

Spy is a Frenchman with the amazing ability to shapeshift and perfectly imitate anyone's appearance, voice and mannerisms. Able to kill with a single backstab, his disguises and invisibility cloak allow him to infiltrate the enemy base and take them out from the inside. He likes to think of himself as above his teammates's bullshit, but really he's one of them in every single way. He once taught Scout how to romance a woman, after Scout begged him for help since his only pickup line was "Hey we both got buckets of chicken, wanna do it?" but it went disastrously. His relationship with Scout in general is weird since he once fucked Scout's mother. He later realizes that he may in fact be Scout's father. Knowing that Scout would both never accept him and that he had no right to call himself that, he also disguised himself as Scout's idol Tom Jones in order to comfort Scout as the younger man lay dying, while telling Scout about how he had dropped a Sex Bomb on his mother. When Scout went to heaven, the angels helped preserve the lie by snapping the real Tom Jones' neck just as Scout was about to meet him. In heaven. Since the real Tom Jones was dead. To Spy's chagrin, God raised Scout back from the dead.

There's a lot more - I haven't even touched on the third Mann Brother or Saxton Hale or Miss Pauling yet - but this should be the general gist of TF2.

#TF2 #long post

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underthedekutree · 4 years

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Young Link might have PTSD - Part 2: Termina is NOT a Parallel World, Technically

This is a continuation of my last post so if you’re seeing this and haven’t read it, go here.

This is the part where I somewhat smoothly segue into Majora’s Mask. Link, lonely and filled with unprocessed trauma, leaves Hyrule in search of Navi. According to most sources (which take from Hyrule Historia probably? don’t quote me on it), Link falls down a hole into Termina, a parallel world to Hyrule, that contains many familiar looking denizens of Hyrule, but playing different roles. And well, if you probably guessed by the title, I have a rather different interpretation.

Okay, so in a nutshell my theory is that Termina is in fact all a dream, kind of like Koholint Island. Except the one dreaming up this world isn’t some deity like the Giants or Skull Kid or the Moon. It’s Link.

(big explainey hoo hah below)

Evidence 1: Link begins the game sleeping. Yes, I know literally every Zelda game begins this way and it’s a whole tradition thing. I am beginning with the weakest points first and working my way up to the strong ones. We’ll get there.

Evidence 2: The reuse of character and environment models from Ocarina of Time. The literal IRL reason for this is of course the game famously being given only one year of production time, which meant that the most practical method was to reuse as much material from MM’s predecessor as possible (eg. Romani Ranch sign is the Kakariko Village sign, and still says Kakariko Village on it). It seems like a rather offhand afterthought for Nintendo to chalk it all up to “oh its just a parallel world like Link to the Past or something. But think of it like this; when we dream, we often see familiar people from throughout our lives put in strange and unexpected situations, like that irritable old farmhand you hated so much is now a depressed circus master for some reason. Dreams don’t make sense. Things you know will mix with other strange inexplicable things, fleeting thoughts in your mind, all roughly tied together by whatever emotions you had been feeling when you went to bed. Malon is split into two people, Romani and Cremia, her older and younger self. This might reflect how Link feels about Malon, that she changed so much in those 7 years that she’s like a different person entirely, that it’s hard for him to process that they are the same, because the change was so shockingly sudden for him.

Evidence 3: Gorons in the snow, Gerudo by the sea. Yes, I know that sounds a lot like good evidence for a parallel world (that’s why the idea is widely accepted in the first place, it has merit), but it also works in as dream world evidence too. As a child, my family was obsessed with skiing. We would go to the same mountain every winter, and we would stay at the same lodge. It almost became like a second home for me. So much so, that one night I dreamed that my house had been replaced by the lodge, so it wasn’t on a snow-capped mountain, but in a bushy Australian suburb. Okay that kinda got off subject but I’m bad at conclusions so in summary Dreams Just Be Like That (tm). You get what I’m saying right? No? Sorry, let’s just move on.

Evidence 4: The Milk Bar. AKA my favourite location in the game! It’s often overlooked as the “haha funny they couldn’t put alcohol in kids game so its kiddy milk hee hee”, but it is actually a strong thematic pillar of Majora’s Mask. As I mentioned in Part 1, if you put a 9 year old in a 16 year old’s body and call him an adult before ripping that all away is probably going to leave the kid with an identity crisis. What is a mature place open at late hours when children are sleeping? A bar. What is a drink associated with the young, being produced for the purpose of helping children grow? Milk. No please don’t go I swear there’s more to this, stay with me. In order to gain access to the bar, Link must prove he is mature enough by wearing a mask, a disguise, like Adult Link is to Young Link. Being adult isn’t earned through years of natural living experience and mental development, it’s a thing you are given by adults to just BE when they deem you worthy, at least from how Link sees it. So that is the amalgamation of dream thoughts that is the Milk Bar. Is it mature? Is it childish? What is the line between the two? Is there one? It’s the culmination of his anxieties and confusions that he doesn’t know how to express. Another, smaller expression of this anxiety is the Clock Town Guards. When Link is a Deku, the guards say they don’t allow children outside the gates. When Link turns back however, the guard goes to stop him because he looks too young, but sees that he has a sword, and lets him pass. Why the sword? Well, in one way this is a callback to Kokiri Forest, where Mido doesn’t let Link see the Deku Tree until he has a sword. But also, what is the item that lets Link travel through time and become an adult in OOT? The Master Sword. Link seems to believe that adulthood is measured by the things you have, physical markers of maturity, which is how lots of children see adulthood. You’re an adult if you can drink, if you’re tall, if you’re married, if you have a house, a car etc. But in reality this isn’t how it works. Heck, I’m technically an adult but I sure as hell don’t feel like one, because I know I still have things to learn about responsibility, patience and all the other things, that can only come with time, which is the moral conclusion of OOT, but clearly Link missed the memo. Don’t get me wrong, there are some indicators to show he’s grown a bit. He can ride Epona, use the bow, do flips like some kind of acrobat etc. But those strange and confused feelings linger, and manifest in the young boy’s dreams.

Evidence 5: The four transformation masks. The four masks represent different aspects of Link’s self, and the way he grew and changed in OOT. Deku Scrub the Innocent, Goron the Confident, Zora the Mature and Fierce Deity the Hero. Link began only knowing the Kokiri Forest, and nothing of the world outside. As he set out on his journey, he grew more confident in his skills and defeated greater foes. When evil took over, he learned from his fatal mistake and worked to right it. And when it was finally time to face the greatest threat, he was ready, with all the heart pieces, bottles full of fairies, Biggoron Sword in hand. At that moment he struck the final blow he probably felt like the strong and unstoppable hero everyone in Hyrule told him he needed to be. And that feeling of pure uncompromising strength, with the whole world behind him, manifested in the Fierce Deity. Fierce Deity is much taller than Adult Link, and packs so much of a punch that he can beat Majora without batting an eye, like some overpowered Super Saiyan. It reminds me a lot of Undertale, with young Asriel becoming what he imagines to be an all-powerful godlike being, like something you’d see as a children’s drawing. Fierce Deity gives off those vibes, like “he has a HUGE SWORD that SHOOTS BEAMS OF LIGHT and he’s 8 FOOT TALL and CAN KILL ENEMIES IN A SINGLE BLOW!!” Before the final battle on the moon, when Majora gives you the mask, he childishly asks if you want to play a game of good guys and bad guys. And the good guy always wins, no matter what. Fierce Deity makes the final boss a cakewalk, but its supposed to.

Evidence 6: Anju and Kafei. Short one, because it falls a lot into everything else I’ve said regarding childhood vs adulthood. Kafei is effectively a switcheroo of what happened to Link in OOT. An adult shrunk back to childhood, uncomfortable in his new body and looking for a way to fix everything. He’s a reflection of how Link now kinda feels like an adult in a child’s body, because he had started to be used to being called an adult.

Evidence 7: The Moon. I haven’t super touched on the main meat of the game yet, so here it is. The moon and the 3 day mechanic is an allegory for constant mounting pressure, that builds and builds, never ceasing, because the world is in danger, and there’s only one person who has been chosen to save it. I’ve always been interested in the Chosen One narrative, and how different media explore the idea of the world’s very existence being pushed onto one person. How at the end of it all, they can never be the same again after all they’ve gone through. When you’re somehow expected to hold up the Moon itself single-handed, and your life and everything you care about suffers because you’re putting everyone else before yourself. That feeling of complete loneliness under a crushing weight, and although other characters may come to help you, in the end its still all down to you, and you never had a choice in any of it, as all the decisions were made by someone else. You must do what they tell you. Believe in yourself, believe...

Evidence 8: Skull Kid. The story goes that long ago in Termina, the Skull Kid and the Giants played together, until one day, the Giants left, leaving the Skull Kid alone and heartbroken, with nobody to turn to. As life moves on, things may change, and people always come and go from your life. Your friend might move overseas, or stop texting you, or you might fall out of friendship after an awkward event from which you could never recover (no, these have totally not all happened to me, shut up i’m fine), or your fairy companion might just disappear without so much as a goodbye after their task is complete. And it feels like you didn’t matter at all. That they never really cared about you, and you’re as easy to drop and move on from as a child’s toy. You might get angry, and want to shut them out, and give them a taste of their own medicine. Majora’s Mask teaches you that this isn’t the case. Life is ever changing, but you will always have the memories of times with your friends, and a chance to make more with new friends, like a sassy talkative fairy sprite and her shy brother or a child made of wood who wants to destroy the world. Friends come from unlikely places, so accept that change will happen and hope that wherever the people you knew are, they’re okay. You’re thinking about them, so they might be thinking about you too. And who knows? Life is unpredictable. They might just come back one day, and it’ll be like they were never gone.

Evidence 9 (the final one, I promise): The Song of Healing. At the end of all things, after losing ones you love, connections to family and friends, memories of things long past... you need time to heal. Link’s journey through Termina is a constant gauntlet of running into his own past traumas, forced to relive them again, and again, and again. But sometimes you should take a deep breath, gather your thoughts, and take time to heal. Although it can be important to confront your fears and learn to surpass them, it is exhausting, and you can end up more emotionally broken than when you started. The three masks all had regrets of powerlessness; unable to protect your community, your loved ones, or even yourself. Troubles you’ve gone through that keep plaguing your mind, and you’re wondering if you’ve done enough, seeking answers where none can be found. And the best thing you can do... is accept and move on. Be kind to yourself, and give yourself time to heal. Link’s way of processing his grief and trauma is to create an entire hellscape world in his own head, but not everyone processes it the same way. Sometimes you feel like you need to busy yourself, or listen to soothing music, or talk to people you trust, or spend copious amounts of money, or make some angst art, or cuddle your plush toys until their stuffing squeezes out. Sometimes life hits you in the face and you want to blame yourself for standing in the firing line, but it’s not your fault. It’s okay to feel however you feel, whether you’re drenched in a pool of tears or you just feel numb, it’s okay and natural. You’re okay. You’re here.

Okay so it got kinda personal at the end there but I hope it was informative, and made you think a little bit differently about Majora’s Mask and Ocarina of Time. You probably want to go back and play them now. Me too.

So was this all just an excuse for me to gush about how cool Majora’s Mask is? Hell fucking yes it was. Congratulations for making it through my monstrous ramblings, you get the secret prize of looking at my weird art on my DA. Here you go. Have a nice day, Zelda Nerds.

#long post #legend of zelda #majoras mask #young link #fierce deity #zelda theory #wow i cant believe i never realised i wrote fuckig outset island instead of koholint im dumby af

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46ten · 4 years

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AH: marriage and military service should not mix

The summary of this post: A lot of historians have noted how important AH’s marriage to EH was to his future, a true before and after marker in his life. But the strangeness of it has gotten less attention - AH married while the war was going on, and even wrote of not hanging around the army at all in order to setup for his life with his new wife. Once one sees the oddity of that, a lot of other things fall into place in his 1780/81 letters.

For the past few years, I’ve wanted to work more on the theory that although marriage was generally expected of the 18th century Anglo-American colonial man (see prior posts here and here), the elite in AH’s circle did not marry until their military obligations and other duties were complete. From their examples and a few phrases here and there, getting married seemed to have been frowned upon, perhaps because of the uncomfortable examples of general’s wives and this idea that romantic love with a woman was a weakness that interfered with duty and hindered one’s commitment to military glory. (I am familiar with the challenges faced by Martha Washington, Catharine Greene, and Lucy Knox; Philip Schuyler refused a return to military assignment and presidency of the Continental Congress after the death of a newborn, among other things, in 1778). AH is an exception among his circle, with Meade, in getting married during the war itself - nearly everyone else who is unmarried waits until after their military service is complete (and sometimes well after) to marry. Not enough is made of the oddity of his courtship and marriage, within his circle, while the war is ongoing.

Now to modern thought, the title of this post makes a lot of sense - relationships are often strained when one partner is in military service, and the hows and whys are very familiar to us. But for the 18th century, when adult manhood was tied to matrimony, avoiding matrimony seems odd, as does the length of some of the courtships of AH’s friends: two years for William Jackson, about the same for Tilghman, four years of flirtation for McHenry. At a time when engagements lasted a matter of weeks (and AH notes that his own is unusually long - it’s lasting “an age” in one of his letters to ES), the delay in taking the next step is notable. Even in the prior generation, although Philip Schuyler was sexually intimate with Catharine Van Rensselaer, he continued his military service and did not marry her until it became unavoidable by decency standards (CVR was 4 months pregnant).

So what’s with AH and ES wanting to get married in such a hurry, comparatively, besides the obvious emotional ones? Maybe he really was 26-27 years old and time was running out! Another obvious possibility, noted then and noted by biographers since, was the benefits of their marriage on a personal and political dynastic level. @aswithasunbeam has noted a contemporary article (sourced from Mitchell) about what Philip Schuyler had to gain through the new attachment between himself and Washington’s aide-de-camp. (And look how quickly P. Schuyler had AH working to get GW to visit them.) The advantages for AH were obvious to, as the Marquis de Fleury stated outright to AH: “ I congratulate you heartyly on that conquest; for many Reasons: the first that you will get all that familly’s interest, & that a man of your abilities wants a Little influence to do good to his country. The second that you, will be in a very easy situation, & happin’s is not to be found without a Large estate.”

I also suspect part of AH’s decision to hurriedly marry was tied to getting a command and spending the rest of his time studying the law.* I agree with most biographers that he never takes the steps of leaving Washington’s family and asking for (Nov 1780) and then demanding (June 1781) a command without being Philip Schuyler’s son-in-law. (I also think the break with GW doesn’t happen without AH feeling VERY confident in his relationship with his new wife. EH should have been a better patriot - as in other times - and seemed less happy in her marriage, or at least not let AH read her letter to her sister.) I think that’s what Laurens knew while on parole in Phil. and causes the minor flurry of letters in late August/September 1780, when P. Schuyler was briefly at HQ and then sending lots of letters about Congress to GW, AH was going on about his planned six month leave, McHenry was writing a love poem about AH and ES and trying to get AH to get P. Schuyler’s help in getting him a command, etc . AH and ES likely intended to marry in October/early November, but both Meade and Harrison took leave instead, and AH had to stay, though he would leave in late November before their return (in fact, Harrison and Meade never returned.)

Take Laurens (left wife and daughter he’d never see in England) and Lafayette (absent from France from March 1777 to Feb 1779 and March 1780 to early 1782). Both of them left wife and child(ren) behind, and here AH was planning a long absence from military service and telling his fiancee that he’ll leave it entirely if that’s her wish. AND Meade is discussing doing exactly that! [So Laurens presumably wrote to AH - we don’t have that letter - that he hopes AH will get over this quickly, and AH wrote back that he won’t, but I’m getting ahead of myself.]

I offered to make a comparison of AH’s letters to Laurens vs Elizabeth Schuyler - while revealing of personal feelings, in content and expression they are more different than they are similar - but I think I first need to set up that major transition that’s occurring in AH’s life in 1780/81. To the extent Laurens may have objected to AH’s excitement about ES and their impending nuptials (and there’s only one phrase in one letter, and that from AH to Laurens, from which it can be interpreted that those were Laurens’ feelings), and AH felt embarrassed about conveying the news of his engagement, it was because it interfered with a (believed to be mutual) sense of military obligation and public duty and dismissal of marriage and its attendant obligations. I touch on it in a response here; I’ll try to elaborate on it in upcoming posts. [I will get into why this makes the most sense, and why claims of AH trying to spare any romantic feelings JL may have felt, quite frankly, do not make sense in a later post. Spoiler: AH wrote absurdly callous stuff re ES and his relationship with her in his letters to JL if he was hoping to spare JL’s feelings.]

I already put some of my thoughts on this in old posts that may have some helpful content and may spare me having to repeat myself too much, and then I’ll also provide some quotes from letters to get started, limited to 1777-1782 and then probably the most famous quote from 1799.

Hamilton on marriage part 1 (overview)

Hamilton on marriage part 2 (feelings on marriage 1777-early 1780)

Hamilton-Schuyler engagement (early 1780-mid 1780)

Hamilton on marriage part 3 (my breakdown of the July-Oct 1780 letters to ES)

Hamilton on marriage part 4

Reynolds Pamphlet, part 2

And a post (not my own) about how much AH’s military involvement as Inspector General was affecting his family financially.

Letter quotes [my emphases]:

You and I, as well as our neighbours, are deeply interested to pray for victory, and its necessary attendant peace; as, among other good effects, they would remove those obstacles, which now lie in the way of that most delectable thing, called matrimony;—a state, which, with a kind of magnetic force, attracts every breast to it, in which sensibility has a place, in spite of the resistance it encounters in the dull admonitions of prudence, which is so prudish and perverse a dame, as to be at perpetual variance with it. AH to Catharine “Kitty” Livingston 11Apr1777

Do I want a wife? No—I have plagues enough without desiring to add to the number that greatest of all; and if I were silly enough to do it, I should take care how I employ a proxy. AH to John Laurens 1779 [likely from mid-April up to July - this letter is actually undated, and the April date is based on other mentions in the letter; both JCH and Lodge dated it December 1779]

The most determined adversaries of Hymen can find in [ES] no pretext for their hostility, and there are several of my friends, philosophers who railed at love as a weakness, men of the world who laughed at it as a phantasie, whom she has presumptuously and daringly compelled to acknowlege its power and surrender at discretion. I can the better assert the truth of this, as I am myself of the number. She has had the address to overset all the wise resolutions I had been framing for more than four years past, and from a rational sort of being and a professed contemner of Cupid has in a trice metamorphosed me into the veriest inamorato you perhaps ever saw. AH to Margarita Schuyler, Feb1780

I would add to this by way of consolation, or rather of countinance, that the family since your departure have given hourly proofs of a growing weakness. Example I verily believe is infectious. For such a predominancy is beauty establishing over their hearts, that should things continue to wear as sweet an aspect as they are now beheld in, I shall be the only person left, of the whole household, to support the dignity of human nature. But in good earnest, God bless both you, and your weakness, and preserve me your sincere friend James McHenry to AH, 18March1780 [this was during the time of AH’s courtship of ES]

Here we are my love in a house of great hospitality—in a country of plenty—a buxom girl under the same roof—pleasing ⟨expect⟩ations of a successful campaign—and every thing to make a soldier happy, who is not in love and absent from his mistress. ... Assure yourself my love that you are seldom a moment absent from my mind, that I think of you constantly and talk of you frequently, I am never happier than when I can engage Meade in some solitary walk to join me in reciprocating the praises of his widow and my betsey. AH to ES, 6July1780

I hope for a decisive campaign. No one will desire it more than me; for a military life is now grown insupportable to me because it keeps me from all my soul holds dear. Adieu My love. Write to me often I entreat you, and do not suffer any part of my treasure, your sweet love, to be lost or stolen from me. AH to ES, 20Jul1780

Impatiently My Dearest have I been expecting the return of your father to bring me a letter from my charmer with the answers you have been good enough to promise me to the little questions asked in mine by him. ... Meade2 just comes in and interrupts me by sending his love to you. He tells you he has written a long letter to his widow asking her opinion of the propriety of quitting the service; and that if she does not disapprove it, he will certainly take his final leave after the campaign. You see what a fine opportunity she has to be enrolled in the catalogue of heroines, and I dare say she will set you an example of fortitude and patriotism. I know too you have so much of the Portia in you, that you will not be out done in this line by any of your sex, and that if you saw me inclined to quit the service of your country, you would dissuade me from it. I have promised you, you recollect, to conform to your wishes, and I persist in this intention. It remains with you to show whether you are a Roman or an American wife. AH to ES, Aug1780

But now my love to speak of the practicability of complying with both our wishes in this article—There is none, I am obliged to sacrifice my inclination to ⟨my public⟩ ch⟨aracter.⟩ Even though my presence shou⟨ld n⟩ot be essential here, yet my love I could not with decency or honor leave the army during the campaign. This is a military prejudice which while I am in a military station I must comply with. No person has been more severe than I have been in condemning other officers for deviating from it. I have admitted no excuse as sufficient, and I must not now evince to the army, that the moment my circumstances have changed, my maxims have changed also. This would be an inconsistency, and my Betsey would not have me guilty of an inconsistency. Besides this my Betsey, The General is peculiarly averse to the practice in question. If this campaign is to end my military services, ’tis an additional reason for a constant and punctual attendance, if it is not my leaving the army during the campaign would make it less proper to be away all the winter ’till late in the spring. In one case, my honor bids me stay, in the other my love. AH to ES, 31Aug1780

Pardon me my love for talking politics to you. What have we to do with any thing but love? Go the world as it will, in each others arms we cannot but be happy. ...I was once determined to let my existence and American liberty end together. My Betsey has given me a motive to outlive my pride, I had almost said my honor; but America must not be witness to my disgrace. AH to ES, 6Sept1780

I have told you, and I told you truly that I love you too much. You engross my thoughts too intirely to allow me to think of any thing else—you not only employ my mind all day; but you intrude upon my sleep. I meet you in every dream—and when I wake I cannot close my eyes again for ruminating on your sweetness. ‘Tis a pretty story indeed that I am to be thus monopolized, by a little nut-brown maid like you—and from a statesman and a soldier metamorphosed into a puny lover. I believe in my soul you are an inchantress; but I have tried in vain, if not to break, at least, to weaken the charm—you maintain your empire in spite of all my efforts—and after every new one, I make to withdraw myself from my allegiance my partial heart still returns and clings to you with increased attachment. To drop figure my lovely girl you become dearer to me every moment. I am more and more unhappy and impatient under the hard necessity that keeps me from you, and yet the prospect lengthens as I advance. AH to ES, 5Oct1780

I would not have you imagine Miss that I write to you so often either to gratify your wishes or to please your vanity; but merely to indulge myself and to comply with that restless propensity of my mind, which will not allow me to be happy when I am not doing something in which you are concerned. This may seem a very idle disposition in a philosopher and a soldier; but I can plead illustrious examples in my justification. Achilles had liked to have sacrificed Greece and his glory to his passion for a female captive; and Anthony lost the world for a woman. I am sorry the times are so changed as to oblige me to summon antiquity for my apology, but I confess, to the disgrace of the present age, that I have not been able to find many who are as far gone as myself in such laudable zeal for the fair sex. AH to ES, 13Oct1780

How often have I with Eloisa exclaimed against those forms which I now revere as calculated to knit our union together by new and stronger bands...Meade already begins to recant. I have received a letter from him on the Journey2 in which he tells me he finds he must return to the army. This will be a new proof to you that I cannot leave it, as we both so ardently desire. AH to ES, 27Oct1780

You possess a heart that can feel for me; you have a female too that you love. I was reduced at one period to entreat, threat, kiss, but all to no purpose; her fears were for my safety, mine for hers. You must imagine to make out the tragedy all that I am incapable for want of words to express. After placing her with at least Twenty other females & children at a safe distance I immediately returned, & joined the Baron about the time the Enemy left Richmond in order to render him all the aid I could being intimately acquainted with the Country for many miles in the vicinity of the Enemy & on their return down the river I left him to go in pursuit of a residence for a favorite Brother who was driven from his home & obliged to attend to his Wife & a family of little children. Was it not cruel my dear fellow that my matrimonial enjoyments should have been interrupted thus soon; not more than one month had passed when the damned invasion seperated us, & we have yet to meet again, for 60 miles divides us. You know I am a Philosoper my dr fd & prepared to meet much more serious disappointments. This gives me an opening to speak of my return to the army. I have been long wishing your advice in full on the occasion; you are acquainted with the arguments I have used in favor of my stay here. I have now but one to add to them, the experience of that happiness I ever expected to enjoy with the best of Women. She loves not less than your Betsy, & I fear could not bear a seperation. I have not however as yet thrown off the uniform, but I am inclined to believe that it must be the case. Meade to AH, 13Jan1781

I was cherishing the melancholy pleasure of thinking of the sweets I had left behind and was so long to be deprived of, when a servant from Head Quarters presented me with your letters. I feasted for some time on the sweet effusions of tenderness they contained, and my heart returned every sensation of yours. Alas my Betsey you have divested it of every other pretender and placed your image there as the sole proprietor. I struggle with an excess which I cannot but deem a weakness and endeavour to bring myself back to reason and duty. I remonstrate with my heart on the impropriety of suffering itself to be engrossed by an individual of the human race when so many millions ought to participate in its affections and in its cares. But it constantly presents you under such amiable forms as seem too well to justify its meditated desertion of the cause of country humanity, and of glory I would say, if there were not something in the sound insipid and ridiculous when compared with the sacrifices by which it is to be attained.

Indeed Betsey, I am intirely changed—changed for the worse I confess—lost to all the public and splendid passions and absorbed in you. Amiable woman! nature has given you a right to be esteemed to be cherished, to be beloved; but she has given you no right to monopolize a man, whom, to you I may say, she has endowed with qualities to be extensively useful to society. Yes my Betsey, I will encourage my reason to dispute your empire and restrain it within proper bounds, to restore me to myself and to the community. Assist me in this; reproach me for an unmanly surrender of that to love and teach me that your esteem will be the price of my acting well my part as a member of society. AH to EH, 13Jul1781

Don’t think me unkind for not talking of your making a journey to the Southward. It would put us to a thousand inconveniences and would in fact be of no avail; for while there I must be engrossed in my military duties. Heaven knows how much it costs me to make the sacrifice I do. It is too much to be torn away from the wife of my bosom from a woman I love to weakness, and who feels the same ardent passion for me. I relinquish a heaven in your arms; but let me have the happiness to reflect that they ever impatiently wait my return sacred to love and me. Give your Mama, your sisters and the whole family every assurance of the warmest affection on my part. Indeed I love them all.

Yrs. with unalterable tenderness and fidelity AH to EH, 25Aug1781

Early in November, as I promised you, we shall certainly meet. Cheer yourself with this idea, and with the assurance of never more being separated. Every day confirms me in the intention of renouncing public life, and devoting myself wholly to you. AH to EH, 6Sept1781

My heart disposed to gayety is at once melted into tenderness. The idea of a smiling infant in my Betseys arms calls up all the father in it. In imagination I embrace the mother and embrace the child a thousand times. I can scarce refrain from shedding tears of joy. But I must not indulge these sensations; they are unfit for the boisterous scenes of war and whenever they intrude themselves make me but half a soldier. AH to EH, 12Oct1781

You cannot imagine how entirely domestic I am growing. I lose all taste for the pursuits of ambition, I sigh for nothing but the company of my wife and my baby. The ties of duty alone or imagined duty keep me from renouncing public life altogether. It is however probable I may not be any longer actively engaged in it.

I have explained to you the difficulties which I met with in obtaining a command last campaign. I thought it incompatible with the delicacy due to myself to make any application this campaign. I have expressed this Sentiment in a letter to the General and retaining my rank only, have relinquished the emoluments of my commission, declaring myself notwithstanding ready at all times to obey the calls of the Public.4 I do not expect to hear any of these unless the State of our Affairs, should change for the worse and lest by any unforeseen accident that should happen, I choose to keep myself in a situation again to contribute my aid. This prevents a total resignation.

You were right in supposing I neglected to prepare what I promised you at Philadelphia. The truth is, I was in such a hurry to get home that I could think of nothing else. AH to Meade, March 1782 (from a JCH transcription)

You were right, My dear General, in saying that a Soldier should have no Other wife than the service...William North to AH, 12Nov1799

AND just for amusement:

I thank you My Dear Sir for the military figures you have sent me. Tactics you know are literally or figuratively of very comprehensive signification. As people grow old they decline in some arts though they may improve in others. I will try to get Mrs. Hamilton to accompany in games of Tactics new to her. Perhaps she may get a taste for them & become better reconciled to my connection with the Trade-Militant. AH to McHenry, 21June1799

__________________________________________

*I broke this down in a prior post too, but I’ll repeat it here again: I think the clearest statement of his plan left to us is from the draft of the letter he sent to Philip Schuyler explaining why he wants to break with GW (18Feb1781):

As I cannot think of quitting the army during the war, I have a project of re-entering into the artillery, by taking Lieutenant-Colonel Forrest’s10 place, who is⟩ desirous of retiring on half pay. I have not however made up my mind upon this , Start insertion,head, End,, as I should be obliged to come in the youngest Lt Col instead of the eldest, which I , Start deletion,should, End, , Start insertion,ought to, End, have been by natural succession had I remained in the corps; and , Start insertion,at the same time, End, to resume studies relative to the profession which, to avoid inferiority, must be laborious.

If a handsome command for the campaign in the , Start insertion,light, End, infantry should offer itself, I shall ballance between this and the artillery. My situation ⟨in the latter⟩ would be more , Start deletion,substantial, End, , Start insertion,solid, End, ⟨and permanent;⟩ but as I hope ⟨the war will not last long enough to make it progressive, this consideration has the less force. A command for the campaign would leave me the winter to prosecute studies relative to my future career in life. With⟩ respect to the former, I have been materially the worse for going into his family.11

I have written to you on this subject with all the freedom and confidence to which you have a right and with an assurance of the interest you take in , Start deletion,what, End, , Start insertion,all that, End, concerns me.

This letter implies 1) he had a plan post-military; 2) he had discussed with PS what that plan was, and possibly that six month leave (that never happened because of illness and unavailability) was tied to undertaking some of those studies to be a lawyer, to put himself in better shape to support a family. Being able to do so was important to AH - Philip Hamilton was born Jan 1782, and Angelica would not be born until Sept 1784.

#Alexander Hamilton #Elizabeth Schuyler #Elizabeth S. Hamilton #18th century masculinity #Philip Schuyler #John Laurens #I've always found it interesting that he references Achilles to state his willingness to #throw everything away for a woman (Briseis)

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catte-bard · 4 years

Text

A Reluctant Heart to Heart

A long needed conversation is finally had between the Exarch and a certain Warrior of Darkness.

@ffxiv-writers

What was Elidibus’ plan? What did he hope to gain from all of this?

The Ascian’s movements perplexed the Scions greatly. Mostly because it didn’t seem like he was doing anything of harm. Going around slaying sin eaters and naming people Warriors of Light. It all was rather...innocent.

Which made his actions all the more suspicious considering the goals of the Ascians. The Emissary certainly had not had a sudden change of heart. And whatever he plotted, they tried their best to hinder it where they could.

All on top of trying to get the Scions back to the Source. Figuring out which had more priority was a difficult task. The Ascian could not be left alone to his scheming. But time was also running out for the Scions—they needed to get back to their physical bodies soon.

It was exhausting worrying about so many things at once. Bellona’s mind was in a constant cycle of anxieties. The Scions, Elidibus, the Source…It was like a cacophony of noise trapped within her mind. She couldn’t focus.

She couldn’t sleep.

After tossing and turning in bed for bells, she finally gave up and accepted defeat. And her restless mind led her outside the Pendants. There was a nice clearing near the inn where children liked to congregate to play. In the daytime it was filled with their rambunctious laughter, but at this late hour it was quiet and peaceful.

It was here she found herself wandering, the sweet scent of the fruit trees wafted over her as she walked under them. A clear night sky hung above, twinkling stars peeked through the branches and the full moon cast a gentle glow over the city.

She looked up, searching the glittering sky as if it would somehow yield some hidden knowledge to her. Yet, it did little to quell the growing anxieties within her. Bellona shivered and pulled her coat tighter around her shoulders.

It was always one thing after another. It felt like fate was trying to break her. Just when she thought they had their respite, just when she thought they finally had a happy ending...A new villain rose to add another chapter to this long and very grueling story.

Elidibus wanted their attention here on the First. But why? Did he know about the Scions’ condition? Was there something happening on the Source he was trying to prevent them from stopping?

“Out for a late night stroll as well?”

She jumped at the sound of another voice, not expecting to meet anyone else out here at this late hour. Hand over her racing heart, she turned to see the Exarch standing behind her. The last person she expected to see out here at this time. Especially, since the man seemed to have been pending most of his time in the Crystal Tower of late.

“I’m sorry,” He chuckled, seeing that he had taken her by surprise.“I did not mean to frighten you.”

“I…” it took her a moment to shake off her surprise. “It’s fine...What are you doing out here?”

“I decided to take one of those breaks Lyna is so often pestering me about.” He smiled and looked fondly at the night sky. “I was on my way back when I happened to spot a certain Warrior of Darkness still up at this late hour.”

She shrugged. “I couldn’t sleep.”

Bellona shifted uncomfortably; unsure of what to think of his sudden company. She had certainly not asked for it. But he walked right up to her as if invited. If she were being honest, she never had much patience for the man’s presence. Preferring to keep him at arm’s length. Now was of no exception.

“Ah.” He looked back down at her. “I must say it’s been awhile since we last spoke like this hasn’t it? You don’t come by the Crystarium as often these days.”

“I’ve been busy.” She simply muttered, shaking off her initial surprise.

“Quite so.” He agreed. “These days I’m lucky to only catch the slightest glimpse of you before you run off to tend to some other business that has suddenly come up. It’s honestly enough to make me think the Warrior of Darkness has been purposely avoiding me.”

Silence. Even the chirping crickets seemed to stop on their song, as if sensing the tension. And the man simply watched her expectantly, waiting for some sort of excuse.

Of course, the accusation wasn’t unfounded—because yes she had indeed been avoiding him. And his awareness of the fact made her feel like a child caught in the act of doing something naughty. Suddenly, the cool night air didn’t feel so refreshing anymore.

“Do we have to talk about this now?” Now of all times? When so much was already weighing on her mind.

She wanted to be left alone with her stewing. There was nothing to talk about.

However, he did not seem to heed her dismissal. “You’re still angry at me aren’t you?” He let the words hang there for a few heartbeats. “You still blame me for what happened...I understand that, but avoiding the subject isn’t going to make it worse. We’ll have to talk about it eventually.”

She looked away from him, crossing her arms. “You lied to me and nearly got me killed. There’s nothing we need to talk about.”

The man made a pained expression at that. “I lied to protect you. It was for your own good.”

“My own good?” She whirled around on him. “You don’t get to decide that for me. You’re not my bloody father—and even he hasn’t right.” She snapped. “That’s not a good enough excuse for what you put me through. What I had to suffer!”

She hadn’t wanted to talk about this. She had been fine with letting it rest where it was. But fine! If he wanted to drag this stupid thing up, so be it!

Again he winced. The harshness in her tone was so accusing and cold. It made the still very fresh wound of guilt ache within his chest. “I never intended for you to get hurt.” His ears pressed flat against his head. “I cared. I hated to see you suffer.”

“If you hated it so much, why did you still let me go through with it?” The Warrior countered back. “You saw what the Light was doing to me. At any moment I could have lost control. And yet you just pushed my onward.”

She could still remember the pain she had been in. The corrupting Light devouring her very being. Fighting against her, struggling to break free from within her. Even now there were times when she thought she felt the Light still burning under his flesh. And it made her wonder if the Wardens’ taint was completely gone…

Was that supposed to be for her own good? Is that what he called protecting? It seethed at an angry boiling deep inside her.

“I pushed you because I believed you could do it. I knew that as the Warrior of Light you would rise victorious in the end.” He firmly told her. “And if you faltered, I would be there to help you. I knew what I asked of you was dangerous but I was never going to let the Light consume you. I was never going to let anything happen to you—”

“And yet something did happen!” Bellona shot back. “Did you even know what you were doing when you dragged me here? Did you even think all the risks through or did you just make a gamble and hoped I didn’t let you down halfway through the task? Maybe in your own mind what you thought you were doing was good but in reality it was reckless and selfish!”

Reckless and selfish?

The words stung. But it also sent a prickle of exasperation through his chest. That wasn’t fair. Why was she trying to frame him as the villain here when he had tried so hard to be a friend?

He had wanted to be civil about this. He had hoped for a calm conversation. But if the Warrior of Darkness wished to bared fangs then he would return it. He would not be bullied and cowed down like a pitiful old man.

He bristled. “I am selfish? For what? Saving you?” He snipped, incredulous that she could ever imply such a thing. “Would you rather I never had interfered? Left you and the Scions to die to the Empire’s Black Rose? Done nothing while the world’s greatest hope died? If we are to going to resort to name calling then may I point out how very stubborn and ungrateful you’re being right now?”

He had managed to leave her speechless. And he would be lying if he said he didn’t take delight in her stunned expression. She wanted to say more—so much more. He could see it in the way her lip curled up. The way she trembled with her hands clenched into tight fists. However, she just glared and shook her head. She turned and stormed back towards the Pendants.

“I don’t have to deal with this. Not from you.” She growled. “There are more important things to focus on.”

“Is that how it is to be, Bellona?” He called after her. “You are allowed to yell at and bully others but when they do it to you it’s too much? Is this how the Warrior of Light truly acts? Like an immature child? Is this how you will defeat the Ascian—by throwing a tantrum? I had higher expectations.”

But perhaps his words had cut a little too deep. For Bellona suddenly whirled around and flung herself at him with a yell.

It caught him completely off guard and the two of them crashed into the ground. Bellona pinned him down, her strength surprising him. For though she appeared scrawny looking at a glance, the young Miqo’te was anything but!

Get off me. He wanted to snap, but he had trouble bringing words to his lips with Bellona knee rammed into his stomach. Gods, the woman was stronger than she looked!

He grabbed at her wrists in an attempt to pull her off him, anger burning in his chest. Honestly, he had not expected the woman to physically attack him in such a way. Did she really despise him that much?

Even back then in the days of NOAH the two of them never got along. But all that came from it were petty arguments and childish insults. There was never any true animosity burning between them. At least...that’s how he remembered it.

Warrior of Light or not, he would not be a punching bag to anyone. He tensed himself to fight against her but held back when he saw her face. That look... He’d seen it before.

Long held back tears glistened in her eyes and he suddenly saw her fury for what it truly was. An anger driven by sorrow and frustration and fear. He’d seen it in the eyes of many people who came to seek refuge within the Crystarium—those who had lost so much. Angry and mourning and so full of distrust that the only thing they wanted to do was lash out.

And he found his own anger and frustration melting away. She was angry at him—but she was also angry at so much more. And here it was spilling over after being bottled up for so long.

He let his grip slacken, releasing her wrists. “Go on then.” He whispered and let his arms fall to his sides. “Do it.”

Through the anger in her expression he saw her confusion.

“That’s what you want isn’t it?” He solemnly said. “I’ve hurt you terribly, haven’t I? And I know no mere apology will ever fix what I’ve done to you. So take your anger on me if you must; it’s nothing less than what I deserve…So strike me, beat me until the pain has left you. I will not stop you.

He felt her hands trembling, her grip tightened. For a moment, it did look like she was going to hit him. And he braced himself for the blow. However, instead she gave a frustrated sigh and abruptly let him go.

“Get up, G’raha...” She grumbled as she stepped away from him.

The man stared at the sky above, he could hear his heart pounding in his ears. Slowly, he sat up, absently rubbing the back of his head. He looked up to see Bellona had paced a few films away. Her arms crossed and her back towards him. Angrily trying to wipe away at her tears and stifle her sniffling.

His ears drooped and he looked down at his lap. “I’m sorry…”

Bellona shook her head. “Do you even know what you’re apologizing for?”

His shoulders slumped. “No…but I just want to fix things. And every time I try to apologize you push me away. So tell me,” He groaned, “What do you want? What am I doing wrong?”

She was quiet, taking a few more moments to compose herself. He longed to go to her and offer some sort of comfort but thought better off it. He didn’t have the right to.

Sighing, he stood up and dusted off his robes. “I know that perhaps you will never forgive me for my deceit—for putting you in danger. And I truly regret hurting you like that. But I was doing what I thought was right.” He firmly told her. “What I thought would save the world...as well as it’s greatest hope…And if given the chance to start over, I would do it the same again and again.”

Bellona finally looked at him, meeting his eyes and seeing the burning resolve in them. She snorted and shook her head.

“I really wish you wouldn’t look at me like that…” She finally spoke.

The Exarch cocked his head. “Like what?”

“Like I’m perfect…”

“I wouldn’t say perfect...but I do think you are one of the most amazing people I have ever met.”

She squeezed her eyes shut. “You know when you say stuff like that, you make it difficult to be around you.”

He frowned at her in bemusement.

“Do you want to know why I really can’t stand you?” She finally spoke. Her voice soft but there was an edge to her tone. “You only ever care to see me as the Warrior of Light. As some dauntless hero. Not a person. Not just me.”

The Exarch bristled at that, going red in the face. “That’s not true!”

“For gods’ sake, G’raha!” Deep within she knew it wasn’t fair to use his name like that. She knew what it did to him. But she needed him to listen. “All that you know about me has been from embellished tales and stories; you’ve admitted it yourself! Stories passed down from star-struck individuals that paint me as some indestructible hero.”

Her heart was pounding within her chest and she could feel herself trembling. Her throat ached with something between anger and sadness. “And then there’s the way you look at me or speak about me to others. It’s this strange fervent way and it’s clear I am not a person to you but a fairie tale.”

Her words seem to have struck something for he looked almost hurt—guilty.

“I...had no idea that showing my appreciation for your deeds was so bothersome.” He eventually said, the dejection heavy in his tone.

“There’s a difference. Appreciation is fine, but what you do isn’t appreciation it’s...it’s worship!” She looked away from him, crossing her arms over her chest.

Bellona shook her head. “Idolizing someone is not the same as caring for them, G’raha. Being someone’s friend isn’t putting them on a pedestal.”

The weight of her words fell on his shoulders with the weight of a thousand tonzes. They were crushing and he even found himself breathless as he struggled with his own words to say.

“Perhaps, you are right and I am foolish—nay you are right. I have been holding you to unfair expectations…” The man mumbled “But I am trying Bellona. I am trying to make things right. But I can’t learn what I’m doing wrong or what I need to work on if you keep pushing me away! So just tell me—tell me how I can make it up to you?”

He waited in silence. Waited for an answer. Waited for rejection once more.

He could see the deliberation in her eyes.

Seconds ticked by. Minutes. And finally she seemed to decide something.

“I want you to promise me something—swear an oath. Break it and I will never forgive.” Bellona told him, suddenly looking rather serious. “I don’t know what Elidibus is planning but I know that I might have to face him alone to stop it. When that time comes I want you to promise me you won’t interfere. And neither will you let the Scions interfere—getting them home is what matters more.”

“What?” The Exarch frowned, perplexed by the request. But also wary of what she was trying to ask of him. “No...Absolutely not. You’re asking me to abandon you and I will do no such thing!”

“Your duty is to the people of the Crystarium—to the people of the First.” Her expression hardened. “Their safety is more important than my own. They need your protection, not me. Trying to protect me is what made a mess of things in the first place.

“If you really want to make things right then you’ll let me do this on my own. And even if it ends with me falling by the Ascian’s hand I’d rather it be me than someone sacrificing themselves for me. So please,” Her voice was tight with emotion, “do this one thing for me.

The Exarch was stunned, words of protest caught in his throat. What could he say?

“You know the Scions would never forgive me if they knew I agreed to let you do this…” He said, hoping to deter her.

And he saw it briefly. The fear in her, the uncertainty.

“G’raha...please.” She squeezed her eyes shut. And her voice trembled with a vulnerableness he had never heard from her before.

That was unfair. To hear his name on her lips, being spoken in such a desperate way. It sent a twinge through his heart.

And she knew it too. Knew what she asked of him. To possibly let go of the hero he had worked so hard to save in the first place.

It was selfish in its own way.

For a long moment, the two of them stared at each other. Until, finally...the Exarch yielded.

“Very well,” He said with a heavy sigh of resignation. “I swear...”

#shadowbringers #final fantasy xiv #shb spoilers #crystal exarch #g'raha tia #writing #i was working on this sucker for MONTHS #pulling my hair out trying to figure it out cause i wanted to get it posted before 5.3 #and well i sort of accomplished it #i still sort of meh over it #but i wanted to get it done so i'd stop fussing over it

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