#the first graphic i've made in forever

[jarfishy]

and in the sea that's painted black creatures lurk below the deck but you're a king and I'm a lionheart and as the world comes to an end I'll be here to hold your hand 'cause --

#ted lasso #rebecca welton #this song has been stuck in my head for these two meatheads specifically for weeks #so here we go #have.... whatever this is #the first graphic i've made in forever #figures ted lasso would be the thing that got me back into graphic making #considering it dragged me kicking and screaming back into writing fanfic #picspam

[miupow]

[duality.] ─── ⋆ h. kai

an unexpected discovery about a friend sends you spiraling-- sure, hueningkai was cute, but he wasn't your type. at least, you thought he wasn't.

✩ pairing. huening kai x fem!reader

✩ words. 10k

✩ warnings. nsfw, mdnfi! smut with plot, f2l, graphic depictions of bdsm/rough sex, hard dom!kai, sub!reader, fem!reader, swearing, explicit language, mentions of alcohol/drinking, jealousy, wingman tyun and roommate yeonjun, gags, blindfolds, bondage, handcuffs, spanking, paddles, protected sex, manhandling, dry humping, sir kink, pet names, praise kink, dirty talk, degradation, degredation/name calling, jake from enhpyen cameo, possible dubcon elements, possessive behavior, nipple play, breath play/choking, cute ending hehe

✩ a/n. here it is!! duality, all three parts put together into one big oneshot!! i've been putting off finishing this fic for the longest time which is so criminal of me i know... i hope this makes up for it ♡ feedback in the forms of comments and reblogs are always appreciated! this is not proofread! please lmk if there are any mistakes!

You don't remember when Friday night get-togethers became "let's all listen to Beomgyu complain" get-togethers, but you could hardly complain-- hearing about your friend's failed attempts at wooing his coworker made you feel infinitely better about your own love life.

"I just don't get it," Beomgyu sighs deeply, swishing his beer around like he was debating on some deep philisophical theory. He was squished into the side of Taehyun's too-small couch, legs hanging off of the armrest and head awkwardly lying on Soobin's broad shoulder. "I'm hilarious and I'm smoking hot-- why is it so hard for me to find a girlfriend?!"

"That's because you're a loser." Your roommate, Yeonjun snorted. He was splayed out on the other end of the couch, effortlessly beating Soobin, Beomgyu and Hueningkai in Mario Kart, legs manspread so wide Taehyun (who was squished against Soobin's other side) looked about ready to hit him.

"I don't know, have you tried asking her out instead of following her around like a creep? She probably thinks you're stalking her." Taehyun snickered, very engrossed in his phone. You could see him trying to close Yeonjun's legs with his knee. It was not working.

"Also, you have no game." Soobin added, tonguing the inside of his cheek as he concentrated on the game. You were fairly sure part of the reason why he was losing so badly was because both of his arms were constricted to his sides. "Absolutely zero rizz, dude."

"Zero rizz," Hueningkai echoed with a giggle. Forever the smart and resourceful one, he chose to sit cross-legged on the carpet instead of squeezing himself on the couch-- you followed suit, not wanting to be in a sweaty sandwich with your roommate and his buddies. "I bet you haven't even said a word to her."

you sat with Kai near Yeonjun's legs, head propped up on the front of the couch as you snacked on popcorn. Hueningkai successfuly threw a blue shell at Yeonjun's kart-- your roommate's legs kicked out sharply, almost hitting you square in the head, and he let out a sharp "FUCK!"

"I have!" Beomgyu defended, sounding very much like a petulant child. "I talk to her all of the time! I asked her for her number, I made her a spotify playlist, I walk her to her car every night after our shifts--"

"None of that is asking her out though, hyung." Taehyun still hasn't looked up from his phone. "Did she give you her number?"

"No!" Beomgyu whined loudly, making everyone wince. "She said I haven't earned it yet!"

"It sounds like she's playing hard to get, maybe? Girls like it when guys pine." You supply, talking instead of listening for the first time in a while. You loved Beomgyu like a brother, and while it was funny to listen to his failed flirting you did want him to actually, you know, be happy. Plus he seemed to care about this girl beyond what her cupsize was, which was a pretty big deal for Beomgyu.

"More like she wants him to leave her alone." Hueningkai snickered back. “Hyung, I’ve not seen you this down bad since, like, grade school.”

“At least he’s not filling us in on his latest hookup,” Soobin shrugged, or at least tried to-- Beomgyu was now purposefully sitting on him. “Beomgyu might be a simp but I honestly see this as an improvement.”

“I’m not a fucking simp!” Beomgyu squawked, feigning hitting Soobin over the head with his controller. “I at least get more pussy than you losers— when was the last time Kai managed to bag a girl without her running away screaming first?”

The boys all laughed-- even Taehyun, which was weird--as if Beomgyu had made a joke that made sense. Kai? Scaring away girls? You’ve known him for years now, him being Yeonjun's friend and all, and while you didn't know him inside and out you were fairly sure he still slept with stuffed animals. Jesus, last time you had come over his only priority was showing off his Gundam.

“I think Kai would be the one running away screaming, honestly,” you laugh, expecting the others to follow, but you were quickly met with awkward silence. The boys all looked at you oddly, especially Beomgyu, who looked both deeply betrayed and like he had just gained some arcane secret. “…What? This is Huening we’re talking about, come on.”

“Yeah, Huening.” Beomgyu started, looking at you like you had grown an extra head. “It's always over when he starts going Fifty Shades on them."

"He starts going what?!" You sat up very suddenly, whipping your head around to stare at Hueningkai incredulously-- he was refusing to look at you, starting very intently at the TV screen, even though the game had ended minutes ago. The tips of his ears were cherry red. "You start going what?!"

"Oh my God, she doesn't know!" Yeonjun cackled madly, turning to look incredulously at Taehyun, who looked back with a wild grin. "She doesn't know!"

"I don't know what?" You felt a little betrayed by Taehyun, you had to be honest-- if anyone would have kept their head on, it would have been him. "Kai, what are they talking about?"

Kai was still refusing to make eye contact with you, instead glaring sharp daggers at his friends-- he genuinely looked angry, which was an emotion you weren't used to seeing on Hueningkai. "Don't worry about it, they're being dicks--"

"Hueningie likes to beat girls!" Beomgyu sang, his cute corner dimples popping out in his delighted, evil smile and making him look absolutely devilish. "He likes to treat girls like sluts!"

Kai was very very silent and worryingly still, nearly burning holes in the carpet with his stare. You furrowed your brow, blanched— that wasn’t the reaction you were expecting from him at all.

"There's no way you have no idea, Y/N, I mean-- you're joking, right? You've known him for forever now." Soobin cut in, looking genuinely confused.

"You've been in his room! Like, a thousand times!" Yeonjun laughed. "He's so fucking bad about putting all of his gross shit away-- once I saw handcuffs still attached to the headboard!"

You blinked.

This had to be some sort of joke. They were fucking with you, they had to be. "Are you trying to tell me that Hueningkai, OUR Hueningkai, is-- no he's not?! Have you met him? He collects Squishmallows!"

"You haven't looked under his bed yet, then." Taehyun snickered, once again on his phone-- you spluttered, both at his words and his nonchalance. Kai was still eerily silent.

"You've got to be joking. This is a joke. I don't think Kai's seen a pair of boobs in his life--"

"I’m not a virgin, you know." Hueningkai muttered stiffly, looking at you for the first time in a while. The residual anger he had for his friends lingered on his blushing, usually lax face, staring you down with an intensity you didn't think he could muster-- your stomach flipped hard, nearly having you recoil under his stare.

It took you an embarrassing second to register what he even said. "Oh. Um--"

"I'm not some fucking loser." Hueningkai repeated, voice calm but deep, deep dark, and it hit you quite suddenly that he was actually upset with you, not his friends. You had never heard Kai swear before. "Is it really that hard for you to believe? You don't know me.“

“Um, I—“ you spluttered, opening and closing your mouth like a fish.

“It’s like you think I'm some spineless, bitchless nerd or something-- it pisses me off, honestly, and I'm getting really fucking sick of it."

You were unable to choke out any words at all as Hueningkai pulled himself up sharply from the floor and stomped away into his room-- It was awkwardly silent for a few deeply conflicting moments, but Beomgyu was quick to pick back up the laughter.

"Someone's mad! Better watch out, Y/N, Hueningie might punish you for that!"

“Are you a slut?” Hueningkai hisses, big hand palming your bare ass– you whimper around your gag, tug at the restraints that bind your arms behind your back. “Is that what you are? All you can think about is getting cock, huh?”

Tears were starting to soak the silk of your blindfold, sticking wet and cold to your skin– you had never felt this raw and desperate in your life. “No!” you try to say, but it comes out a muffled whine.

Huening leans in close, hot breath caressing your ear, fabric of his shirt ghosting your back; his grip on your asscheek tightens, fingers digging into the flesh. “I’m sorry baby, didn’t hear you. What was that?”

“I’m not a slut!” you try again, shaking your head wildly, slurred words incomprehensible– drool ran down your chin and neck, dripped onto the bedsheets beneath you, and moving your mouth to speak only made more spill out. You felt disgusting, pathetic, humliated beyond belief… and your wet cunt ached.

“No?” Kai coos, the palm gripping your ass trailing down between your thighs. His fingertips brushed softly against your fluttering folds– the first real touch to your neglected pussy. You sob around the gag. It was nowhere near enough. “Then why are you so wet right now? I’ve barely touched you and you’re soaked. You want me to fuck you that bad, huh baby?”

And you wake up before you can answer.

“This is about Huening, isn’t it.” Taehyun states plainly when he answers your call. For a split second, you wished he was less reliable about picking up the phone.

“I haven’t even said anything,” you whine, a little petulant even to your own ears. Taehyun had always been able to read you like a book, read everyone like a book, and it never failed to piss you off and embarrass you.

“You never call me unless it’s about your problems.”

Oh. Well. You suppose that’s true. He was just such a great listener.

“He’s not a problem, I’m just– is he in the room with you right now?”

You can hear Taehyun’s eyeroll reverberate through his sigh. “He’s at class. If you’re calling to apologize, I can leave a message.”

You scoff. “Apologize for what?! I didn’t do anything!”

“I think you hurt his feelings. He hasn’t left his room all week except to go to his classes.” Taehyun sounded more amused than anything else. “You should at least tell him you’re sorry for emasculating him.”

“Emasculating him?!” And this was why you didn’t go to Taehyun when it came to problems involving his own friends. “He’s the one being a big baby about it! How was I supposed to know you guys weren’t joking? Why didn’t you tell me anything?”

“Tell you what, that Kai’s a freak? We thought you knew. Plus, it’s not like it’s even that big of a deal. You’re both just being weird about it.”

“I’m not being weird about it!” You retort. “I’m just, like– how long have you known?”

Taehyun was quiet for a very long, uncomfortable moment. “Y/N, if you’re about to quiz me on my roommate’s sex life, I will hang up on you.”

“I’m not, I’m not!” You’re glad you’re curled up in bed and not out in public; you’d hate anyone to see you this flustered just over the phone. “I’m just confused on how it was apparently ’so obvious’ and I completely missed it.”

“That’s because he’d been trying to hide it from you. He’s just been doing a shit job– thought you figured it out anyway.”

You blink. “He’s… what? Why?”

Taehyun makes a noise like he’s sucking at his teeth, staticky over the phone. You briefly wonder if he’s actually going to hang up on you. “I promised Kai I wouldn’t tell you this.”

“Tell me what?!” You press with a hiss, grasping your phone harder in your hand– you were getting really sick and tired of everyone beating around the bush with you, like you hadn’t already learned more about Kai in the last few days than you had in the last few years. “Tyun, if it involves me, I think I deserve to know.”

Taehyun hesitates for a moment before letting out a defeated sigh, deep and weighted like some veteran soldier. You want to laugh, really, but you’re too on edge to do much more than hang onto every word Taehyun says. “Kai’s gonna kill me for this.”

“I don’t care. Spill.”

“He’s… interested in you. Has been since he met you, I think. He was playing up that annoying good boy act ‘cos he didn’t want to ’scare you away.’”

You let out a breath like it had been knocked out of you with a fist, head spinning wildly. Kai was always so sweet and polite, got you gifts, made sure you always felt appreciated and included… but he had never given you the impression that he was into you. He was just like that with everyone.

But now that you thought about it…

Those smiles he seemed to save just for you, adorable and ecstatic like you had completed some insurmountable task for him instead of just getting him a candy bar or a glass of water, the gentlest ’thank you so much'es that made your tummy flip in the best way. Pretty brown eyes wide and sparkling every time he looked at you– he would always furiously turn away like he didn’t want you to catch him staring.

You caught him staring quite a lot. You always assumed you must have had something on your face.

Sweet Hyuka who told you you looked pretty even when you knew you didn’t, stepping into his and Taehyun’s apartment in pajamas because Yeonjun hadn’t told you it was movie night until he was getting ready to leave. Hyuka who would give up his seat so you could sit on the couch. Hyuka who was always the first to stand up for you if one of the other boys made a snide joke in your expense. Hyuka who hugged you first before he addressed anyone else. Hyuka who would sometimes only come out of his room if he was told that you were there. You always thought that Hyuka was a great friend.

Suddenly, the other night made a lot more sense. Just as suddenly, you also felt very, very guilty.

“Oh.” You whisper into the phone, because it had hit you that you hadn’t said anything for quite some time.

“Yeah, 'oh.’ Now he thinks you think he’s a gross pervert.” Taehyun snickers. He’s enjoying your plight far too much.

“I don’t think that.” you retort softly, a little sad.

“You should tell him that, not me.”

“How am I supposed to tell him anything if he won’t pick up the phone?!”

Taehyun’s quiet again, like he’s thinking. “Listen, Yeonjun’s taking us out for drinks Friday to celebrate Kai passing his midterms. I think he’s trying to cheer him up. Ask him to come with; you can talk to Kai then.”

“…Would Kai even want me there?” You ask.

“Probably not, to be honest. Doesn’t matter though, he’s not the one paying, he can go cry about it. Plus, I think hyung was gonna bring you anyway– he thinks this entire thing is hilarious.”

You hesitate for a moment. Not only foes this have bad idea written all over it, you also don’t have anything to wear. “Promise you’ll get me out of there if things get nasty?”

“How would things get nasty?” Taehyun laughs. “The most Kai would do is whine that he wants to go home.”

You should have stayed home.

Taehyun was right– when you brought up the club to Yeonjun, he had enthusiastically mentioned that he was, in fact, going to ask you to come with, and that he was very happy to hear you agree to go. Maybe that should have been your warning.

Huening hadn’t so much as looked to you the entire night. You spotted him immediately when you had stepped into the building, platinum blond hair and an oversized grey hoodie tucked awkwardly into a corner booth, big frame shrunk in on itself like he was trying to come off as small as he possibly could. You felt bad for him, really, watching him stare surly into the same drink he had been nursing the entire night– Kai hates clubs, yet the other boys kept insisting on celebrating with drinks and dancing instead of something Kai would actually enjoy, like a movie. You’re fairly sure Kai was already aware that the night wasn’t really about him and his test scores.

On top of the awkward atmosphere, you feel naked in this dress. You borrowed it from a friend, since you had nothing nice to wear— it was cute, but backless and low cut, and not to mention about two sizes too small. You were afraid to take large breaths, lest your breasts fall out of the top entirely. 

You think you caught Huening staring from the booth as you sat at the bar with Yeonjun, but it might just have been wishful thinking. 

“Just go up and talk to him,” Yeonjun suggests between swigs of his beer. He keeps looking over his shoulder at the dancefloor like he’s hunting for something— most likely a girl to take home with him.

“And what, grovel for his forgiveness? He looks like he wants to kill me.” you grumble around your own glass, half-hoping the liquor would at least spark some confidence. You felt the opposite of confident, in your stupid tight dress, scared of approaching a boy that professed his undying love for Molang on the daily. 

“Maybe he just wants to fuck you. You look hot.” Yeonjun snickers, glancing quickly over at Kai’s booth— from the annoying grin on his face, you can only assume Huening is looking your way. “Go over there and tell him you’ll suck his dick if he’ll forgive you.”

“You’re gross.”

“You love me.” Yeonjun sneaks another look at the dancefloor; it seems he’s locked in on a target. “Gotta bounce. Yell if you need me to come and save you.” 

“I don’t want your saving,” you retort snidely as he slid his way through the crowd. 

You didn’t have any time to relish in your solitude, barely able to even take another sad sip of your cocktail— an unfamiliar body fills Yeonjun’s empty barstool in what felt like an instant, big mouth grinning like he’d been waiting for a while. 

You suppose the eyes that you had felt on you hadn’t been Kai’s after all. Yeonjun’s grins could be decieving.

He orders a beer from the bartender, pretty yet odd accent slurring his words— you weren’t sure where it was from, but you sure did like it. “And another of whatever she’s drinking.��� he adds, shooting a grin your way.

“Oh no, I’m alright—” you attempt to shut him down, but your voice wavers. He waves you off with a sweet laugh. 

“It’s on me, baby. You look like you need it.”

You laugh nervously. You weren’t sure if that was supposed to be a diss or not, even including the petname. “Oh, do I?” 

“You look stressed. Something got you down?”

You’re not sure how to respond to that. You’re not sure how to respond to any of this, really. Flirting wasn’t really your forte.  “Just a little.” 

The bartender puts down both of your drinks at once— your handsome new friend pushes yours your way, and you take it gratefully. This isn’t exactly how you wanted your night to go, but this man was hot, free drinks were free drinks, and maybe going home with someone new was a better outcome for your night than moping around alone and having to listen to your roommate get his dick wet. “Did some asshole abandon you over here? You’re far too pretty to be sitting here all sad and alone.” Your stranger croons, eyes heavy as they rake down your body, take in your dress. You squirm under his gaze. “My name’s Jake. What’s yours?” 

“Y/N.” You don’t bother addressing his earlier comment; the idea of talking about your boy problems to this very handsome boy made your skin crawl. “I like your accent, where are you from?” 

“Brisbane.” Jake gave you another pretty, blinding grin. He had a very big mouth with very white teeth. 

“…Pardon?”

“Australia.” Jake laughs. “I’m an Aussie. I was born here though.”

“Oh, I see! Are you here just to visit or do you live here? I mean, if you don’t mind me asking, of course—“

“No worries, pretty girl.” He needed to stop with the petnames before you climbed him like a tree. “I live here for right now. Do you want another one of those?”

“Hm?” You looked down at your glass. You hadn’t even noticed that it was empty, just mindlessly holding it up against your lips while you latched on to every word Jake said. “Oh! Um. I’m okay, thank you!” 

Jake seems displeased with your answer. You wonder briefly if he was just trying to get you drunk. It was working. “You sure? You’re still lookin’ a little sad there, baby.” 

“I’m–”

“She said she’s fine.”  

A big hand grabs your arm without much warning, making you squeak out loud— you whip your head back fast, ready to fight, but quickly freeze at the sight of Huening towering over you with a dark but unreadable expression. His grip was bordering on painful. 

“Excuse me?” Jake retorts, face screwed up in irritation and clearly unwilling to back down from a challenge.  “You know this guy?” 

Unfortunately, you did. “Kai—“ you start, but quickly clam up; Kai shoots you a look you’ve never seen from him before, dark and feral. It twists hot in your belly just as much as it scares you. 

“She’s done. We’re leaving.” Kai hisses dangerously near your ear, loud enough for Jake to hear. You’re too shocked to respond. 

“Hey, what the hell’s your problem, man?” Jake’s griping, but it’s not doing much good— Kai tugs you up out of your seat and drags you by the wrist through the crowds and out of the back door of the club. You want to fight him, yell and kick and scream, but all you can manage is to stare incredulously at the back of his head. He hardly gave you the leeway to grab your purse. Or pay your tab. 

“Kai, what the—“ He pushes you hard against the brick wall of the club, presses himself flush against your back— you can feel the stiff bulge of his hard cock against your ass, his hot breath fan across your neck in jagged, heavy breaths. 

“You think this is fucking funny, Y/N?” he snarls, deep and nasty. His hands press yours against the brick, keeping you still against both him and the wall. “Are you trying to piss me off? Show up dressed like a slut, whore yourself out right in front of me?”

You can only get yourself to let out a strangled squeak, all too distracted by the swell of Kai’s cock, the heat of his body against yours. Was this really happening? 

“C’mon, say something.” Kai goads, rolling his hips. it takes everything in you not to moan. “Why are you being such a whore, Y/N?”

“You’re hard…” You whimper.

“I’m hard?” Kai echoes, sneers meanly. “Fuck yes I’m hard. I’m hard ‘cos you look so fucking sexy in this dress, I love your body; God, did you wear this for me?” 

You’d been telling yourself you didn’t, but you did. You absolutely did. “Uh huh…”

“Dressed up all pretty for me yet you’re letting other men call you baby? Sounds like you just want me to punish you. Is that what you want? For me to punish you?” Kai’s hands let go of yours to grab at your hips, guiding you to buck up harder against him. “You know, I thought you couldn’t take it. Thought you wouldn’t be able to handle me. But now I think you deserve to be put in your place, don’t you?” 

“Kai…” You croak weakly, keen high in your throat when Kai grinds hard right against your clothed slit, nestles his head in your neck to mouth hotly at your skin. 

“Fuck you’re wet, I can feel it. Say it. say you want me to ruin you.” 

He’s right; your pussy’s dripping. You’ve never felt this needy before in your life, and Kai hasn’t even touched you. You can’t help but be a little afraid for when he does. 

Your mind flashes back to your dreams, vivid scenes of being underneath Huening as he tore you apart completely, made you feel raw and alive in ways you didn’t think you ever could. You craved to feel even just a fraction of what you did in your dreams, finally make them a reality. 

You needed him. 

“Ruin me, Kai, please.” you beg, and you meant it. 

“Good girl, fuck.” Huening curses hot under his breath, pulls himself away from you— you whine out at the loss, and Huening gives your ass a surprise slap in retaliation. You bite your lip to keep from shrieking. “Fuck, okay, we’re doing this. 7’oclock Monday, okay? My place; Taehyun won’t be home. We’ll have time to talk it out before. Don’t be late.” 

And with that, Kai once again stalks away, heads back inside the club with his hands in his pockets and head held high like he wasn’t just grinding against you moments before. You’re plastered against the wall, dress ridden up your ass, sweaty and hot and so wet it’s starting to drip down your thighs. 

You’re not sure if you’re going to be able to make it to Monday.

“7 o'clock Monday, okay? Don’t be late.”

Monday came far too fast. Despite having the entire weekend to yourself you felt as though you had been given no time to prepare; you spent three days pacing your and Yeonjun’s apartment, unable to do anything except think about Hueningkai’s words, his voice, his hands hot and burning, branding on your skin… you were haunted, ruminating endlessly about what he was going to do to you, what his plans were once he had you all alone and to himself. How far he would push you. If he would take you all the way to the edge. If he would stop if you told him it was too much. If you truly trusted him as much as you thought you did. If all of this was really just some strange, one-off situationship between two good friends, or if there were feelings you weren’t ready to address hidden somewhere just under the surface.

Was this just sex?

Yeonjun kept asking you if you were okay, brow furrowed as he watched you worry yourself half to death, and you didn’t know how to respond.

The dreams you had been having had only gotten worse, more visceral. They frightened you, almost, from the intensity of them, but in the same vein you had never felt this needy in your entire life. You needed to feel Kai’s touch on you again like you needed air.

The falling snow nipped at your bare legs as you shuffled nervously in front of Hueningkai’s apartment door. You certainly hadn’t dressed for the weather– hidden behind your knee-length coat, you wore your tiniest skirt and your tightest top, low cut with your cleavage spilling out of your push-up bra. You wrapped your arms tighter around yourself, buried your burning face deeper into the lapels of your coat as the icy cold wind picked up in a dizzying, biting flurry– you’ve never dressed up for a hookup before, and you hoped it wasn’t obvious… would Hueningkai even notice? Could you even call this a hookup to begin with? The entire situation was so incredibly alien and unlike you in every way that it left a bad taste in your mouth, one you mulled over as you stared daggers at his door. You couldn’t bring yourself to knock on it.

Luckily, you didn’t have to. Taehyun tore the door open for you right as you gathered the courage to raise your fist.

You shrieked at your friend’s sudden appearance, grabbed desperately at your coat like it was a lifeline– Kai had told you that he wouldn’t be home, told you that the coast was completely clear for you to waltz in– that was the only reason you had agreed to come over anyway. You had to save yourself from the potential humiliation of facing Taehyun again after Friday, especially looking like this, yet there he stood, eyeing you up and down as he shrugged his jacket on.

“Wha– Why are you here!?” you demand, wrapping your coat tighter around yourself. Taehyun gives you an odd look.

“I live here.” He answers flatly. “I was just about to leave, actually. What are you doing here?”

You open your mouth to answer, but Taehyun cuts you off. His eyes trail from your glossy lips down to your bare legs, grimace on his face that would have offended you in some other circumstance. “Actually, don’t answer that. Kai’s in his bedroom. I’m going out, I don’t wanna be here for this– use a condom at least, will you?”

Without waiting for your reply, Taehyun quickly side steps your shivering frame to trudge off through the snow. He gives you a limp and unenthusiastic wave goodbye without bothering to look back– if he had, he would have seen you gape and splutter at his retreating back like a landlocked fish.

The door was left wide open for you to enter; all of the lights were off inside, dark and empty except for the cracks underneath Hueningkai’s door, all the way down the hallway– you felt taunted by it, frigid and terrified like something unexpected would jump up at you as you stepped inside and locked the door behind you. You’ve felt less dread walking through haunted houses.

Tentatively, you make your way down the hallway, the apartment unsettlingly quiet as you reach Kai’s bedroom door and fumble with the doorknob– it was unlocked, much to your surprise, and slowly you cracked it open and slipped inside.

Hueningkai’s room was dark except for the light of his console, illuminating your friend’s outline as he played some video game you didn’t recognize; he slouched in his gaming chair with his back turned to you, volume turned up so high in his headphones that you could hear the muffled gunshots all the way from the doorway– he clearly had no idea that you were standing right behind him, so engrossed in the game blown up on his screen.

“Kai?” you called out quietly, too nervous to raise your voice. Huening continued to click away at his mouse and keyboard, and you stared awkwardly at the back of his head.

You double-checked the time on your phone; you had shown up exactly when he had told you to. There’s no way he had forgotten about Friday… was there?

“Kai.” you called again, this time a little louder. Kai still did not acknowledge you in the slightest.

Frowning, you step over to his side, tap gingerly at his shoulder, and Kai reacts instantly— he jumps up out of his chair with a deafening shriek, sends his headphones flying as he whips his head around in terror to face you… it takes him a second to recognize your face, but his face floods with color once he does.

“Holy– Oh, (Y/N), Oh my God!” he whines, clutching his chest. Even his ears are red, you notice when he bends over to pick up his headphones up off of the floor, and you giggle to yourself as he turns back around to give you a startled, puppy-eyed look. “You scared the shit out of me!”

“I’m sorry,” you reply, trying your very hardest not to laugh in his face. You’ve never seen him this embarrassed before, avoiding your eyes with puffed-out cheeks and a pink face; it was a cute look on him. “I thought you knew I was coming.”

“Well..” he cringes, fiddling with the headphones still in his hands. His face looked even redder. “I… I kind of thought you weren’t going to.”

“Why wouldn’t I come? I told you I’d be here.” you ask, cock your head at him, watch as he turns his console off and places his headphones down on his desk. He seemed nervous and disoriented, like he really wasn’t prepared for any of what he had talked about salaciously into your ear Friday night; you felt silly, suddenly, dressed up and standing expectantly in his bedroom. Maybe you shouldn’t have taken him so seriously. This didn’t seem at all like the man who had you pinned against a brick wall and begging for it just a few nights ago, and instead much more like the shy and gentle Hueningkai you knew much, much better.

“I thought I scared you..” Kai admits with a fake, humorless laugh, his wobbly smile quickly folding down into a grimace as he sinks further into his chair. “This is usually the part where I scare people. They were only half-joking about the whole ‘running away screaming’ thing, you know.”

Your own frown deepens, unsure of what to do or what to say as you watch him pick at his sweatpants, continue to refuse to look you in the eye as he rocks himself back and forth with the swivel of his chair. “I mean, I’m not angry about it, obviously.” he continued, fluffy blond bangs hanging over his face as he stared at the floor. “That would be stupid. A lot of people don’t like this stuff, and that’s fine. I don’t want to force anyone to do anything they don’t want to do. You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. It’s okay if I scared you, it really is. I’m sorry I came on so strong Friday, it was a bad idea and I shouldn’t have done it and I was drunk–”

Kai looks up at you for the first time in a while, big brown eyes watery behind his bangs and breaking your heart– he looked so truly guilty, like he had been beating himself up over this for days. Like he had spent the entire weekend pacing and tearing himself to shreds just as you had. You wish he had said something sooner, so you could have told him earlier that he didn’t do anything that you didn’t like, that he startled you but in a way that awakened something in you that you didn’t even know that you had. You wish you had the courage to tell him that he could have done whatever he wanted that night and you would have let him, because while this new side to him made you nervous it didn’t scare you. Hueningkai could never scare you.

It hits you then that there really wasn’t another secret, darker alter to Hueningkai, some frightening Jekyll and Hyde dynamic that your friends had placed into your head. Kai was always Kai, your sweet, perfect, nervous, nerdy, awkward Kai, even when he was saying the nastiest things you had ever heard in your life, and you felt very terrible very suddenly that you had ever doubted your trust in him.

“You don’t scare me, Kai.” You say simply, because you couldn’t get yourself to say anything else. The genuinely shocked look on Kai’s face at your words makes your chest ache.

“Really?” He asks just above a whisper. “I didn’t scare you?”

“No, I… I liked it.” You admit, face heating up. “I liked it, and I want more.”

Kai’s big puppy eyes change in an instant; suddenly he was gazing up at you like a predator, big brown eyes slanted and dark, dripping with a hunger you were frighteningly unfamiliar with. The sudden shift takes you by surprise, ignites a delicious fire in your belly. “Okay then.” Kai says slowly, taking his time easing out of his chair. You don’t miss the big, dizzying bulge in his sweats when he stands up. “Then let’s talk.”

He sits you down on his bed and sits next to you, though a good distance away– you could feel every single inch as Kai nibbles at his lip and bites at his nails, shuffles his feet and looks up at you coyly. “Before we do anything, I just want to hear about your boundaries… is that okay? I don’t want anything to happen that you don’t like. The last thing I want to do is to make you uncomfortable or hurt you..”

You’re touched, oddly enough, though you’re already jittery and way in over your head– with a quizzical little giggle you ask, “What do you mean by boundaries?”

“Like your hard limits, your soft limits.” Kai explains gently, moving to rest his big hand on the mattress between you. You stare at his long, thick fingers a few beats longer than you meant to. “Things you don’t want me to do to you. Let me know about what to stay away from so this can be enjoyable for both of us.”

You were in no way prepared for this line of questioning; you squirm around in your big coat, cheeks heating up– you were starting to sound like the virgin. “I, um… I don’t really know… I’ve never really done anything like this before– but I want to try it. With you.”

Kai lets out a deep sigh, that hand on the bed raising to push his bangs back from his eyes– pretty brown pupils dark and dripping with honey, such a startling juxtaposition from the sweet soft smile on his plush lips. You stare at him, mesmerized. “Thank you for trusting me to be your first, then.” he says lowly and surprisingly sincere, pink tongue darting out to lick at his thick bottom lip. “If there’s ever a point where you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to tell me, okay? I promise I’ll stop immediately.”

“Okay…” you nod. Your anxiety was diminishing by the minute, being replaced with a tranquil sense of trust– you were certain that only Kai could ever make you feel this safe.

“For boundaries, just follow my lead.” Kai continues. “I’ll list something, and you tell me if you’re okay with it or not, okay?”

“Okay.” you say again, more confidently. Kai grins.

“Good girl. Just say yes or no, okay?”

Good girl, said so flippantly like he did at the bar. You shiver, electrified– you can still feel Kai’s hot breath panting in your ear when he called you that Friday night, that hard thick bulge in his pants you’ve been trying desperately not to look at pushing hard against your ass, teasing you maddingly…

“(Y/N)?” Kai asks softly, sending you reeling back to the present. “Is that okay?”

“Yes! I mean yes, yes that’s okay…”

Kai giggles, eyes scrunching up in that way you adore so much. “Alright then. Can I hit you?”

Oh.

You blink hard, hesitate for a moment. “Hit... me? … Where?”

“Wherever you’d like.” Kai answers with the sweetest and most innocent of smiles. Only his bright red cheeks are giving him away. “I can spank you, if you want. I can slap you. Your face, your tits. Your.. your pussy even, if you’d let me.”

Once again you’re pulled away from reality, flooded with memories all at once from your salacious dreams; being spanked for misbehaving, Huening’s big strong hands ruthless on your soft skin. How it hurt but how you loved it, craved and begged for more… “You can spank me.” You finally get out after a while. “You can spank my p-pussy too… just please be gentle. And I don’t want to be hit anywhere else.”

“That’s perfectly fine, angel. I’ll be gentle, I promise.” Kai soothes in a deep croon, mixing deliciously and dizzyingly with the new pet name and making you rub your thighs together– you can tell that he noticed from the wolfish way that his toothy grin widens. “Do you want me to just use my hand or can I use a toy to spank you?”

The simple idea of being spanked with something other than a hand is enough to make you squirm and hide your face; it was something you had never even thought about before, but now… “You can do both..” you mumble quietly, too embarrassed to meet Kai’s gaze. He gives you an approving hum.

“Can I choke you?”

“Yes.” you answer with little hesitation, taking another quick glance at Kai’s fingers, now pulling at the hem of his hoodie. Kai lets out a huffy ‘oh’ like he had been hit hard in the chest, lost his breath. You can feel the hunger in his stare as it washes over you, the way he undresses you with his eyes– it’s already overwhelming and he hasn’t even touched you yet.

“Can I tie you up?” Kai continues heavily, deep voice a few octaves lower. You bite your lip to keep from whimpering.

“Yes.”

“Can I pull your hair?” he moves his arm like he was placing his hand back on the bed, but instead firmly grabs your upper thigh– he pushes your coat aside with his thumb so he can caress at your bare skin, and the teasing touch is more than enough to make your voice shake.

“Y-yes.”

“Call you names? Be mean?” His fingers dig into the fat of your inner thigh.

“Yes, yes please..”

The bulge in Kai’s sweats was obscene, straining hard against the fabric as he stroked your thigh, used his free hand to tilt your chin up to meet his eyes; the way he looked at you was bordering on predatory, like he was going to eat you, so dirty and different than any look he had given you before… your pussy throbs when his thumb brushes softly across your bottom lip. “Oh princess…” Kai coos, sugary sweet, “What am I going to do with you?”

“What are you going to do with me?” you echo timidly, still meek even as you place your hand on his chest.

Kai’s grin turns practically evil, hand brushing higher and higher up your thigh. “I think you deserve a punishment for your behavior Friday, don’t you? Acting so bratty, dressed like a slut…”

The pad of his finger slips under your skirt to ghost over the soaked front of your panties. Your thighs clench hard, trapping his hand between them, and the hand you had placed on his chest grabs a fistfull of his hoodie. “Punish me,” you beg, meek and pathetic; Kai stares at you in what almost seems like disbelief.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks after taking a moment to study your face.

“Yes, please.” you answer, already leaning in to bridge the gap.

Kai kisses you so passionately it takes your breath away, his hands coming to cup your face and grab your hips as he pries your lips apart with his tongue, demanding his way inside. Your hands paw uselessly at his shoulders and neck, Kai swallowing your sweet little whimpers up greedily as he pulls you up onto his lap and tugs at your coat. He only pulls away when you’re both dizzy and begging for air. “God, I’ve wanted to do that for fucking ever…” Kai whispers against your lips, his deep giggle making your legs twitch and tighten around his trim waist– the confession hung heavy in the air, it weighs down your shoulders as you drop your arms to let him peel off your coat and throw it down onto the floor. Words get stuck in your throat as you scramble for something to say… Kai steals them from you with ease, big dark eyes marveling at every inch of your exposed skin, his hands cupping at your hips and breasts, ghosts feathered touches up the exposed skin between your itty bitty skirt and top

“Oh baby…” he huffs, honeyed voice labored and panting. “Fuck, look at you.”

“Do you like it?” you ask with a coy smile.

Hueningkai growls in response, flipping you over onto your back on the bed– he holds himself over you with his hands on either side of your head, pretty lips pulled into the most salacious of smirks as his eyes continue to rake down your body. “Kai…” you whimper, the few inches between your faces feeling like miles.

“No, no, don’t call me that, baby,” he coos, “Call me sir, okay?”

“Yes, sir…” you reply in kind, face hot. Kai gives you another quick kiss in appreciation before pulling himself back up and off of the bed. You whimper at the loss but Kai is quick to shush you, big hand coming up to rub soothing circles into your thigh as he rummages around underneath his bed– where he keeps his toys, you remember with a jolt.

“Turn over ‘n arch your back, can you do that for me? Ass up, gotta teach you a lesson.”

You shudder and follow his directions, bury your face into Hueningkai’s sheets as he gathers his things and settles himself back on the bed behind you; you can feel the bed dip from his weight, feel him place a few things down on the bed side the both of you before he runs his hands up your thighs and waist, across your shoulders and down your arms. In one swift motion he grabs your wrists and pulls your arms taut behind your back, binds them in place with the dull click of biting cold metal– he’s handcuffed you, you realize with a sick start. You’re completely at his mercy now.

“Are they too tight?” Kai asks when you test your restraints, tug at them uselessly; they don’t budge an inch, only cut tighter and tighter into the skin of your wrists with every movement. It’s an alien feeling, being bound like this, but you find yourself enjoying it much more than you thought you would, stoking the fire in your belly. You shake your head no.

“Good.” He says, big hands caressing your hips– he uses his thumbs to push your skirt up over your ass, revealing your cute lace panties. Thumb moving down to slide against your soaking wet slit, he coos, “Such a cute little ass, sweetie; can’t wait to see this cunt.”

You whimper and push back against his hand, making Kai chuckle and rub a quick circle at your clit before tugging your panties down to your knees in one swift motion. You gasp at the sudden shock, cold air hitting at your warm wet core.

Kai sighs like he’s relieved. “God, you’ve got the prettiest pussy, princess… I can’t wait to ruin it.” Without warning, he rears his hand back and slaps you, hard, against your panty-clad cunt. The sting is sharp and mind-numbing, making you cry out, but your voice quickly wavers into a low moan; it hurt like hell but you loved it, the tingling in your fevered skin only serving to make you wetter.

Kais hand then moves to cup and squeeze at your asscheek; you can feel your arousal coating his palm, your pussy so wet you’ve drenched it with just a single spank. “Count for me, okay honey?” Kai croons, gentle. “And say ‘thank you sir’ for every one.”

“Yes, sir…” you whimper, fighting the urge to look over your shoulder back at him as he shuffles around behind you, picking up whatever he had placed aside earlier. You hear a soft ‘good girl’ as he settles himself back into place.

Kai rewards your good behavior with your first proper spank, hard and fast and with a wooden paddle instead of his hand— you cry out, even louder and shriller than before, your hands twisting against the handcuffs as you shy away from Kai’s grasp. “One!” you huff out, winded, completely unprepared; Kai tuts, condescending.

“One, what? What did I say you call me? Be a big girl and use your words now.”

“One, thank you sir!” you correct yourself quickly, thighs already quivering.

He spanks you again on the other cheek, this time harder; you shriek at the sharp pain of the paddle, but it quickly morphs into a broken moan. The paddle elicited pain in a way you had never felt before, could hardly describe, the shocking sting reverberating through your entire body and coalescing in your mind, leaving you breathless and unable to focus on anything other than Kai’s big hand running soothingly down the small of your back, the leather of the paddle ghosting over your flushed skin teasingly. “Two, thank you sir!” you whimper.

To your disappointment, Kai only hums. This time he gives you not a second to prepare yourself before the paddle comes down again, catching the meat of your upper thigh. It hurts so bad it makes your eyes water, your mouth stuck open in a drooly, silent scream. Your cunt throbbed. “Tell me you’re a whore.” Kai demands, voice rough and low, sending shivers down your spine.

“I’m a whore.” you stutter out, wobbly voice barely above a whisper.

Two ear-ringing spanks land hard on your bruising ass, one after another on the exact same spot. Kai’s long fingers catching the very top of your inner thigh— you’re unable to control the shrill shriek that erupts from your parted, panting lips, watery with unshed tears. “Louder.” Kai spits, grabbing a tight fistful of your hair. “Let everyone hear what you are.”

“T-three, four! I’m a whore!” you cry out, your head spinning, your thoughts fragmented. You’ve been broken entirely, you fear, somewhere in the back of your mind. Broken and ruined and never the same again. The thought doesn’t scare you as much as you thought it would. “I’m a whore, sir, thank you!”

“Good girl,” Kai coos, a little condescending. He seemed to enjoy watching you break just as much as you enjoyed being broken. “Just one more, okay?”

He caresses your swollen asscheek with a surprising tenderness, thumb rubbing soothing circles across the burning flesh. Your cunt is so wet that rivulets of slick had begun to drip down your thighs, and by the harsh intake of breath you hear behind you you’re sure that Kai has noticed.

You brace for the spank, face buried in Kai’s sheets, but still your body shook with pain and pleasure as he lands it, vicious and aggressive, right over your throbbing cunt. The spank stung like nothing you had ever felt before, harder than the others before it, the pain reverberating through your core and making you hiccup pathetically— you’re floating, your fragmented and silenced thoughts somewhere far away, but the gentle hand on your hip grounds you back into Kai’s sheets, back into the moment as your body aches and yearns for more. “Five!” you finally manage to spit out, your cheeks wet with tears you weren’t aware you had shed. “Thank you, sir!”

Your punishment ends and it’s like a switch flips in Kai; his hands smooth over your hips and thighs, so so gentle in caressing the blistering globes of your ass.”Such a good girl girl, took your punishment so well…” He croons, pressing feather light kisses to your shoulder blades. “Knew you could do it, my perfect girl. So proud. Are you ready for more?”

“Please,” you pant, chest heaving. You hardly recognize your own voice.

Huening’s breath hitches at your answer, his hips stuttering as he presses them up against your ass. The fabric of his pants scratches deliciously against your pussy, the thick shaft of his cock rock hard and straining, slotted perfectly between your quivering folds— your skin tingles from the kiss he presses against the back of your neck, gentle and chaste. “Such a good girl deserves a reward, doesn’t she?” he purrs into your ear, his warm chest molded to your sweaty back. “What do you want, princess?”

“You.” you beg, sob. “You, please, sir.”

Your answer makes Kai growl roughly into your hair, buck his hips quick and desperate against your ass. His white-knuckle grip on your hips makes your head spin, only growing tighter. “Fuck. You want me? Want my cock? Whatever you want, baby, shit.”

The bed creaks when Kai gets off, his deep little chuckle reverberating through your body. Missing his touch, you roll over onto your back to watch him as he digs through his nightstand drawer, the raw skin of your ass stinging when they brush up against his sheets. Kai giggles triumphantly when he finds a condom, quick to tear the foil with his teeth, and the sweet, innocent noise is almost enough of a distraction from his long fingers pulling down his waistband. His cock slaps up against his belly obscenely when fully freed, flushed pink and twitching, flared mushroom tip leaking tantalizing pearls of precum— you bite your lip to hold in your gasp, cunt clenching around nothing at the sight.

“Why are you looking at me like that..?” Kai laughs, his blonde bangs shading his blushing cheeks as he sheepishly lowers his gaze to the ground. It would be like him, you think, to be embarrassed in a moment like this. He looks so sexy you could cry.

“I… I don’t think it’ll fit..” you admit in a whisper, thighs shaking.

“Oh baby,” Kai coos, sugary sweet, that hesitant nervousness melting into something darker, more alluring. You watch him roll the condom over his thick, leaking cock with bated breath and a throbbing core. “I’ll make it fit, don’t worry.

Kai moves too quickly for you to react, grabbing at your ankle and pulling you down the bed with shocking ease— with his other hand he tugs your panties the rest of the way off of your legs, frees your thighs so they can wrap around his trim waist as he brings your hips together in a delicious clash of skin. His cockhead slides up your slit and knocks hard against your swollen and soaking clit when he pries your legs apart over his shoulders, pushes your knees to your chest to spread you out fully for his view. He stares at your throbbing pussy in rapture, wide eyes with blown pupils making you squirm and fight the urge to hide behind your hands.

“God, you’re so wet,” Kai breaths, sliding two fingers between your folds, spreading around the mess of slick— soon he has them pistoning hard in and out of your hole, scissoring them apart and stretching your quivering gummy walls so perfect, rubbing up against all of your neglected sweet spots as you moan Huening’s name. Your pussy gushes with the lewdest wet sounds, nasty enough to make your ears burn. “Wettest cunt I’ve ever seen. Gotta stretch you so I can fit, yeah?”

“Don’t need it!” you gasp, tugging at the handcuffs still keeping your arms snug behind your back. You want more than anything to touch, to guide Kai to where you need him the most. You don’t know how much more teasing you can take. “I don’t need it, just need you… just fuck me!”

Kai pulls his fingers out, leaves your hole gaping and fluttering as he lines his cock up— his cockhead feels impossibly big pushing up against your entrance, so close it’s threatening to slip inside. “Come on, princess,” Kai teases, rolling his hips. “Good whores say please, don’t they?”

“Please!” you beg, desperate and whiny. You’ve never needed a cock this badly in your entire life. “Fuck me, sir, please!”

Kai lets out the prettiest broken moan, sheathing himself inside you in one smooth thrust. He gives you no time to adjust, immediately settling into a punishing rhythm pounding you into the mattress. You’re immediately overwhelmed in the best possible way, your staccato moans echoing off of the walls.

“B-big!” you hiccup, eyes rolling back from the onslaught of pleasure. His thick cock so deep you can feel him in your belly, so stretched out you fear that he would tear you in half, his fat cockhead knocking at your cervix with every thrust and sending wave after wave of euphoria. His intensity leaves you breathless, unable to think or hardly speak, each thrust surrendering you deeper into the throws of submission and desire. “Too big!”

“‘Too big?’” Kai mocks, his hips unrelenting. “Am I too big for your little cunt, baby? After you were begging for my cock like a little slut?”

You can’t reply, can’t do anything other than moan and cry as Kai splits you open. Kai seems to like that quite a bit.

“Being’ fucked so good you can’t speak? Fuck, that’s so hot. You’re so hot. Been wanting this forever, you have no idea—“ Kai’s rambling, pretty face flushed pink and his brown puppy eyes so dark and wild; he seemed completely lost in the feeling of you, so ruthless let unfocused as his hands tug at the hem of your shirt. You had forgotten you were even still wearing it. “You’re mine now, you hear? Pussy’s all mine. Never— fuck, never letting you go.”

He pulls your top up to bunch at your armpits, your plush tits spilling out to meet Kai’s hungry gaze. Your perky nipples harden from the cold air, flushed and begging to be touched; Kai can’t seem to help but stare in rapture as they bounce with each of his thrusts, his tongue falling out of his panting mouth like a hungry dog. “Pretty tits,” he pants, reaching up to gently slap one of your breasts— he groans at the jiggle, the way you whimper when his palm meets your sensitive flesh. “I’ve always— I’ve always loved your tits.”

He captures your pert bud between his lips, hot wet tongue marking the skin he had just slapped; he’s so rough with it, nibbling and sucking bruises, pinching and twisting the one not in his mouth between his thumb and forefinger— the sensations combined with Kai’s quickening hips, his unbelievable words drives you to the brink of ecstasy, your shrill cries deafening even in your own ears. “Kai—sir!” you beg tearfully, but you’re not sure what for. “Sir, please, please—!”

“Shut up.” Kai hisses, pulling away from your nipple with a wet pop. His hand moves from your overstimulated breast to encircle your throat, grip tight, fingers squeezing just enough to make your breath hitch and your vision fuzzy, ignite your senses— you gasp in shock, your hazy eyes blown wide, his grip adding a delicious edge to your arousal, his words churning hot in your belly… your pussy spasms around Kai’s cock, gummy walls sucking him in impossibly deeper as you finally let the pleasure overtake you.

“I’m gonna cum!” you bleat, your chest heaving, his fist still clasped so perfectly tight around your throat. “Kai, I’m gonna, I—“

“Shh, princess,” Kai laughs breathlessly, his voice cracking and his hips stuttering. His grip loosens, hand coming to rub electrifying circles against your clit. “Gonna cum all over this cock? Fuck— I’m gonna cum too, baby, feels so good! Gonna— wish I fucked you raw, wish I could fill you up… cum with me, okay? Come together with me—!”

You can’t take his words— hot fire in your belly roars, engulfing your entire being, and you’re sent over the edge in a symphony of pleasure. Kai follows close behind with a beautiful whiny moan, his cock twitching inside of you as he fills up the condom. Part of you wishes he had fucked you raw as well, could feel his hot seed paint your walls and fill your belly.

Maybe another time, you supposed.

As you catch your breath, chests rising and falling with the intensity of your shared orgasm, Kai tenderly caresses your waist, surprisingly hesitant and gentle in contrast to all of his touches before. His melted chocolate eyes meet yours, filled with passion and desire and something a little more. “That was…”

“Amazing.” you finish, a blissful smile gracing your lips.

“Can.. can we do that again?” Kai asks eagerly. “Not now, but like. Later. All of the time? We should do that all of the time. Can I take you out on a date sometime?”

taglist: @wintertxt, @boba-beom, @wolfytae-exe, @takemehye, @naomiarai , @mapofthemazeinthemirror , @bunnie-hq , @doumachi, @numxra, @soobinsbuns, @taegimood, @jeniihss, @soobabby, @hhoneylix , @beargyuuzz, @fullbodyblankets , @xenkimmie, @ttaesoob, @shinyngirl , @lxnoluvr, @blxxsss , @ode2soob , @beom-gyubears, @ashiixari, @lurking-coconut, @horanghaelovr, @urstylezx , @mini-mews , @givethnofucketh , @ladyartemesia, @allisonistrashh, @nxlvvr, @lurking-coconut

#ɱเµρσω𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ౨ৎ #k-labels #hueningkai x reader #txt x reader #txt smut #txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #hueningkai smut #hueningkai hard hours #hueningkai hard thoughts #txt fanfic #txt imagines #txt scenarios #hueningkai imagines #hueningkai scenarios

[no-nameno-face]

Taken Care Of Audio (read story first)

TAKEN CARE OF (WITH AUDIO)

Pairing: Reader x Ellie Williams

Summary: NSFW, 18+ ONLY, minors do not interact. You will be blocked. Ellies had a long, hard day on patrol, and after stitching her up she requests some TLC. 

Warnings: Smut heavy, sub!reader, dom!ellie, face riding (E!receiving), oral (E!receiving), masturbation (R!), cum eating (kinda)? Praise kink, minor blood kink, pain kink, stitches, boob play (E!receiving), first time smut writing, did not proof read (but probably should have...)

Author's Notes: Soooo I've never written smut before, lmfao. I made the audio first, for my thirsty Ellie girls on tiktok but this audio got a bit… out of hand (wayyy too graphic) so I didn't want to post it on there. I had a whole scenario in mind with the audio so I figured I might as well write it down and share it here. I am also very obsessed with Ellie receiving so I subconsciously brought that to life while editing the audio. I know it's not great, but it was very fun to make and write soo.. Please be nice to me, I'm sensitive. Lol. (I put in the story when the audio clip applies, the story starts with context) I’d like to improve my writing cause this was a good time so any advice would be appreciated!!

I hear the door downstairs creak open and shut, a bit louder than normal. I can track the footsteps marching to the stairs and I listen with a small smile as the thuds make their way up. I hear soft profanities getting closer. Ellie is home. 

Sitting on our bed I turn my head right in time to see the door open, grinning at her as she walks in. She has that crease in her brow that I recognize as her tell-tell sign that she had a shit day. She shoots me a sly glance before looking away to take her flannel off leaving her in a white tank, dirty and disheveled she pulls it over her head. 

My eyes trace down her back, scarred and bruised. Muscular, and toned. Heart flutters, and a familiar heat builds. It's crazy how after all these years just seeing her still triggers these primal feelings. She just does something to me. She always has. My eyes stop wondering when I see a deep fresh cut following the curve of her hip. 

“Shit els? What happened” I get up and pace towards her keeping my eyes on the wound. 

She bends over pulling her shoes off, losing her balance a bit and mumbling a frustrated “fuck” under her breath. Now behind her, I prod at the gash and she swears again. I can feel her flinch. 

“I'll go get the stitches, sit down.” I say pulling her to the bed. She hits the bed with a thud and leans her elbows onto her knees.Shaking her head “it's not that bad babe, im fine.” She looks up at me and gives a half-hearted smile.

“I know you're fine,” I say, giving her a gentle look “I just don't want it to get infected, okay?” 

“Anything you say doc” she says with a smirk before turning to address the cut herself. She touches it lightly and winces when her fingers make contact. I head to the bathroom across the hall from our room and grab the small white kit from the medicine cabinet, and make my way back to our room. She's still sitting at the end of the bed, now rolling her neck side to side. 

I plop on the bed behind her, “okay, are you gonna tell me what happened now?” trying to distract her as I begin stitching the gash closed. Her back flexes and I hear her sharp intake of breath. Heart flutters. 

“Fucking stalkers. I hate those things” she says, shaking her head and looking up to the ceiling. “I was on patrol,”

“With Jesse right?”

“Don't remind me,” she says with a scoff that is cut off by another huff as I add a new stitch. Damn. Every breath in sync with the sutures releases a morbid butterfly into the pit of my stomach.  “Yeah, I was on patrol with jesse. We were checking out that one restaurant by the lodge, and I found an entrance to the attic. That place has been cleared out for like forever, so I went up on my own and got jumped by a stalker.” she shrugged her shoulders. “Fucking thing nailed me into an old piece of plywood. Piece of shit.” I tie her last stitch off, and give her a gentle pat to tell her she was finished. I got up and made my way to the bathroom to put the kit back.

I turned in the doorway on my way out, “Maybe you should’ve been more careful.” She swings her head at me with squinted eyes. I shrug and turn, heading to the bathroom “just saying!” 

“Fuck off” she calls back, I lightly laugh.

Back in the bedroom, she's lying on her stomach, head resting on her hands. “And then of course Jesse had to give me a fucking lecture about not going anywhere on my own, team communication! All that bullshit.” She turns onto her side propping herself up with one arm, “I’m just so fucking over it.” she looked absolutely exasperated. Oh how I love her dramatics. I sit facing her and her free hand falls to my hip. She looks at her hand, then up to me. Those green eyes, familiar and warm. Home. I smile at her. 

“That sucks. I'm sorry. I mean Jesse should know by now, there's no getting through that thick skull of yours. What's a lecture gonna do?” I smirk at her.

“Ouch.” she sneers at me, one brow up. She lets out a quiet laugh, and looks back down to her hand on my waist. “Thanks for stitching me up babe.”

“You know I don't mind.” I say casually. She smiles, an inside joke painting a picture on the walls of her thoughts. 

“So weird that you're into that.” she chuckles

“I'm not into that.. I just..” her eyes darted to mine. My heart pounded in my ears. She's right, but it was just so blunt. “There's just something about a strong woman who needs my help.” I say fawning innocent eyes, partially joking, but subconsciously egging her on. She sees right through me.  

She raises her eyebrows, taking her hand from my hip and pushing herself up so she's sitting opposite of me. She smiles, “so stupid.” her eyes drift down to my lips, then back to me. I feel red flush my cheeks. Her gaze darkens slightly, noticing. She tilts her head looking at me. “I mean it's okay that you are, i'm not kink shaming” Her hand meets my thigh, electric, and she gives me a sideways smile. I gape at her, trying to make light of the tension building between us.

“So you like taking care of strong women? Yeah?” she says quietly with a smile in her voice as her eyes trace down my body to her hand. Her thumb started circling the sensitive skin of my inner thigh. “Funny, you're normally the one that begs to be'' she looks up at me teasingly “taken care of.” Fuck. I feel heat pool in my belly. My knees squeeze together by their own volition. She feels it and her teasing gaze turns to something else as her eyes shift to them. She bites her lip subtly. This woman. 

Her hand moves to the button of her pants, “well i did have a hard day,” she undoes it and glances at me with an evil smile. “And since you enjoy taking care of strong women” she pulled on her zipper. “Mind doing me a favor?”

Jesus Christ.

“What do you have in mind?” I say, wide eyed. I try to sound cool but my voice comes out hungry. Starved. I watch the switch flip in Ellie's eyes at my words. 

“Take your shirt off.” she demanded with raised brows, and before I could think I was pulling her baggy shirt I was lounging in over my head. I'm left sitting there topless, with nothing but my black underwear on. She rolled famished eyes over my bare skin for what seemed like an eternity. Her eyes settled back on mine. I fidgeted my hands in my lap, feeling suddenly too vulnerable. She leans in slowly without breaking eye contact and my breath catches. Inches from me she whispers “Take off my pants.” 

Immediately I am in her service, at her beck and call. She knows all she has to do is ask. I'll do anything for her. She leans back onto her hands and lifts her hips slightly as I peel her jeans down the soft, yet lean, curves of her hips. Down her thighs, over her knees, and then calves, my eyes tracing every line of her legs. I toss them on the floor, and look back up to her awaiting further instruction. Her eyes are smiling with a dark inflection. 

“Lay down.” I looked at her confused, thinking I was the one taking care of her. Her tone was not a question however, so I obliged. I centered myself on the bed and pulled the nearest pillow under my head, keeping my eyes on her as she stood up and took her white boxers off. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of her. Pretty, untamed. My knees squeeze, I don't try to hide it. She looks at them, and scans back up to my eyes. She stares into me as she walks around the bed to my side. I bite at my nail anxiously. 

“I want you to take care of me, make me feel good m’kay? Can you do that for me?” she asks with a small smile. I nod.

She looks over me once again (START OF AUDIO) “fuck, you look so pretty.” She climbs onto the bed, looking at me like prey to a predator. “Be a good girl for me” she whispers, as she swings one of her legs over my head. Shit, I get it now. Her pussy meets my lips and she lets out a soft “fuck” at my eager mouth. My arms wrap around her thighs, hands gripping soft flesh. She starts to move, pleasuring herself on my tongue. She moans softly, “needed this” she says desperately as her eyes drift close and her head drifts to the ceiling. Her taste envelopes me, her wetness growing by the second with the addition of my saliva wetting her folds. 

“Okay,” she moans, picking up her pace, grinding against my face. She looks down at me, before her eyes dart shut “There!”  I feel her body pulse at the peak of her thrusts and I know she's found her spot. Her bud flicking roughly over my tongue. “Oh shit.. There. There we go” she continues at her pace for a moment. Her pulsing getting stronger. Her eyes snap open and peer at me “Jesus, you feel so good.” she says as her head rolls back and her eyes closed again. She continues her rhythm as I pull my arm from under her leg and skim my hand up her body “okay” she says lost in the sensation. My palm cups her right breast and I squeeze impatiently, then rub a loving thumb over her nipple, circling it. “Damn… yeah” she sighs then her hand meets mine and squeezes the sensitive flesh with me “Baby just like that.” she bites her lip with a whispered “fuck” as she rides my face. 

Her moans and the graphic sound of her wetness fill the room. I reach my other hand down into my underwear and begin circling my own clit firmly, unable to avoid the tension building within my own body. “Fuck me.” she whines into the air, before looking down to me with adoring eyes, “that's my good girl.” her eyes tighten, “lets go” she whispers as she begins to grind harder and faster into my mouth. “Come on.” My hand on my core meets her pace. “Good. There. Okay. There we go” I love how she talks mindlessly when we fuck. Her voice is enough to bring me closer to my own apex. I begin moaning beneath her, unable to contain my own pleasure. She looks down at me “shhhh shh shh shh” she hushes as she pulls my hand from my aching clit before I can reach my undoing. I whimper in disappointment as she pulls my arm from beneath her leg and takes my other one from her chest before pinning them above my head in her strong hands, deepening her weight into my face. “Shut up” she corrects. 

Her rhythm continues and I can tell the new pressure she's added is building her quickly. “God damn.” she says as her eyes squeeze shut. “Okay” That same wrinkle between her eyes deepens again, this time out of pleasure. She rides harder pushing the back of my head further into the pillow. Her moans grow louder, more animalistic. her hands on my wrists tighten to the point that I am sure that there will be a mark. “Holy fuck” she gasps. She pushes hard against me and I can feel the pulse intensify, her sounds grow and grow until suddenly her hands let go of my wrists and bury deep into my hair, pushing me even further into her just at the right time when her head falls back in quiet breathy moans, she rides out her high on my mouth. Her legs shaking and clit pounding as I suck against it,  encouraging her. Tasting her. Worshiping her. She lets out a whimpering breath at the end of her climax and looks down at me beneath her. “Oh my god babe.” She slowly lifts off of my face and I see her flinch slightly at the air touching her sensitivity. She takes a breath before looking at me with a lazy smile.

 “All right. Your turn.”

#ellie williams #ellie x reader #ellie williams tlou #ellie smut #ai audios #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams x you #the last of us #the last of us ellie #ellie williams x reader #ellie x y/n

[ace-turned-confused]

whatever you want | joel miller x f!reader

summary: date night for you and Joel but we skip to the good part xoxo word count: 3,2k warnings: 18+ only, POV changes (i tried my best pls be nice), no plot in sight, reader has no physical descriptions other than clothing, established relationship, pet names, smut, oral (m receiving), fingering, unprotected p in v, butt stuff, spitting, creampie, praise kink, panty kink, size kink, Joel’s filthy mouth a/n: this is the first thing i've written that's actually made it out the doc before being trashed forever - big thanks to my irl bestie for her continuous words of encouragement <3 this is very mildly edited because i'll hate it if i keep trying to improve it ✌️ i'd appreciate any feedback! again pls be nice thank you love you okay bye divider by @saradika-graphics

You've been looking forward to this all week — date night with Joel. You usually stick to something simple, going out for a cosy dinner or just deciding to cook together at home — but he always ensures it’s a memorable night in one way or another, and tonight is no exception.

He suggested to you earlier in the week, lying in bed, “How ‘bout this time you pick out something for me to wear? Hm?” It had your mind racing with ideas, thinking about all the possibilities now presented to you. 

You glance at him, “So what’s in it for you, then?”

“No ulterior motive here, sweetheart,” he puts his palms up near his face and smirks, “You always look pretty for me, I just thought I’d return the favour.”

“Hm, that’s a big decision,” you mutter with a playful smile.

You’re well aware of what Joel loves seeing you wear — he’s always loved anything you wear, to be frank, racy or not — and decided to pose a deal to him, something you knew you’d both benefit from.

“I may have some ideas. Why don’t we make a deal, then?” you inch closer to him and play with a stray lock of his hair. “You do something for me, and I’ll do something for you.” Your eyes meet and you can tell he’s trying to figure out the game you’re playing.

“And what would that entail?” he asks, a hint of cockiness in his voice, impressed by your unusual boldness. You remove your hand from his hair and drape your arm over him.

“Will you wear that red shirt again… with the sleeves rolled up?” you ask shyly, trailing your fingers up and down his side.

“Sure will,” he says, still smirking. You’re only getting more breathless the longer this goes on, and you haven't even made your whole point yet.

“And… those black pants of yours…?”

“Which ones, sweetheart? I got a lot of black pants,” he remarks, feigning innocence and a cheeky lilt to his voice. “You know which ones,” you mutter, your hand stilling.

He shifts closer until you’re pressed against each other and whispers, “Don’t think I do, you’re gonna have to tell me.”

You huff, annoyed at him for teasing you like this, and at yourself for getting turned on by his games. “The tight-fitting, black—”

“That’s not what you really want to say, though, is it? Tell me what’s going through that pretty head of yours,” he interrupts, and you shiver.

You look down at his chest, unable to make eye contact with him and pray he doesn’t notice how your cheeks redden as you whisper back, “Those black pants that everyone can see how big you are, those pants, I want you to wear them.”

He skims a hand up your back, “See? Was that so difficult?” he asks rhetorically, and you can practically hear his teasing smile and visualise the dark glint that you know will be in his eyes. “And what shoes should I wear, you know, to tie the whole look together?”

“You know very well I couldn’t care less what fucking shoes you wear,” you chirp back at him, forcing yourself to look him in the eye again.

Satisfied with your answer, he plants his hand on the small of your back, caressing you gently with his thumb, “You mentioned some kind of deal?”

If he hadn’t brought it up again you’re not sure you would’ve remembered at all. You’ll always be amazed by how calm he is after derailing a conversation and making you so flustered.

You close your eyes, mentally shake yourself, and start your bargaining, “Well, I promise to wear the laciest panties I own—” you look at him sweetly through your lashes, “—if you promise to keep your clothes on. And you can, you know, do whatever you want.” It comes out far breathier than you were planning, but it’s out. “With me, to me, you know. Whatever.” 

He raises his eyebrows slightly, voice lowered, “Whatever I want, hm? And all I have to do is stay dressed? Quite the deal there.”

-

Joel’s made himself comfortable in his chair, eyes trained on you in the doorway. Sitting here now, the night’s only just beginning and you’re already like putty in his hands. He noticed hours ago your eyes had glazed over, and he’s been growing harder and harder ever since in anticipation.

“What’re you thinking about, sweetheart?” he asks, and your gaze refocuses on him.

“You,” you reply, sweet and simple.

He does a once-over, taking in your flowery, strappy top and neat little black slip-skirt that falls just above your knees and hugs your hips beautifully — your hands fiddling with the hem of your shirt and you’re shifting your weight side to side.

He smiles softly and suggests, “Why don’t you show me those pretty panties you promised to wear?” and you nod gently, moving slowly further into the room.

Much more confident and comfortable in your own skin than when you took your clothes off for him the first time, you face Joel and lift your gaze to meet his. You reach behind your back to unzip your top and lift it over your head, dropping it to the floor. Pushing your thumbs beneath your waistband, you peel your skirt over your hips and hunch forward slightly, letting it pool around your feet. Standing at your full height again, he takes all of you in — clad in lace, black bra and lilac panties.

He widens his legs and curls a finger, beckoning you forward and you stand between his knees. Joel rests his hands on your hips, thumbing the lace over your hipbones.

“Where’ve you been hiding these?” he looks up at you and sees heat blooming across your chest and up your neck.

“I, um… I’ve been saving them, for uh—“ you stutter, and he can see you start second-guessing your choice. Breathing shallowly, you murmur, “Do you not like them?”

He smiles at you, still playing with the lace, “I love them, sweetheart. You know I always do.” He lowers his gaze down to your panties again, eyes trailing across the fabric, and he doesn’t miss how you press your legs together, seeking any sort of relief.

He pushes against your hip to turn you around, and almost can’t believe how you’ve both ended up here. You, dressed in your best lace just for him, ready and willing to do as he says? You’d clearly been wanting to do this for some time now, but Joel would be lying if he said he wasn’t excited, too. He kneads the swell of your ass, fingers toying with the lacy edges and hears you breathing deeply again.

“So, whatever I want?”

You turn to look at him over your shoulder and reply under your breath, “Yes.”

He turns you around to face him, hands still on your hips. He looks up at you again, “You okay?” and squeezes his hands.

“Yeah,” and you nod, smiling down at him.

“Well, you did such a good job picking these panties all on your own, sweetheart, I think maybe you need a reward,” he darts his tongue out and drags his hands along your thighs, resting his arms down and leaning back in his chair. “First, though, you’re gonna show me just how good you can be, okay? C’mon, on your knees.”

You lower yourself, getting comfortable between his legs, your eyes lingering on his bulge before looking up at him. He nods towards his lap and you start undoing his pants, palming him through the fabric. Reaching into his boxer briefs and wrapping your hand around his length, you stroke him a few times and pull his waistband down just enough to take him out, thick and heavy and already fully stiff in your hand. You bow your head to lick him from base to tip, hover above him and spit onto his cock, stroking him harder and smiling sweetly at him.

You start taking him into your mouth and he sighs, resting a hand on the crown of your head. “You been waiting all night for this, huh, sweetheart?”

You hum a response and he groans, watching you bob up and down, taking more and more of him each time. You pull off and continue stroking him, and he smiles at you in encouragement. You take him in your mouth again, and he feels you hollow your cheeks and take him even further, the tip of his cock just about breaching your throat and you whimper around him.

“Fuck, baby, doin’ so good,” he grunts and pulls you off. His hand moves to the nape of your neck, the other tracing over your collarbone and down over the lace of your bra, your nipples hardening through the delicate fabric. “Think you can do it?”

You nod eagerly at him, eyes glinting, hands stroking him languidly and you move to start sucking him again. He tightens his grip and stops you. “Use your words, please.”

“Yes, I can do it.” You look up at him and his hold softens.

“Good girl, go on.”

You lick the underside of his shaft and swirl your tongue around the head of his cock and take him again, working him just to the start of your throat. You’re breathing as best you can through your nose, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, lips stretched around him and brushing his wiry curls as you push even further and hold him there, fingers digging into his thighs. You start to gag and do your best not to pull off him, squirming to find any bit of friction and Joel moans at the sight, throwing his head back.

“Bein’ such a good girl, taking my cock so far down your throat, hm?” 

You moan and swallow around him, his hips jerking at the sensation and he pulls you off. “Almost too good,” he breathes, “know you’d love me coming down your throat, but not tonight.” He gives you a lopsided smile and you whine, moving back and forth on your knees.

“Stand up for me sweetheart,” and you rise, looking down at him, still catching your breath. His hands are back on you immediately, squeezing your waist, hips, ass — any part of you he can reach. He runs his fingers across your panties again, trailing them down over your covered clit and between your folds and you tilt forward into his touch.

“Soaked right through these pretty panties of yours,” he looks up to meet your gaze and there’s almost no colour to your eyes anymore, just pure blown-out pupils. He keeps rubbing his fingers along you and you whine again, clearly desperate for him to touch you properly.

He smirks up at you, “So needy just from sucking my cock.”

Joel shoves his hand under the elastic of your panties and rubs his fingers between your folds and over your entrance, coating his fingers in your arousal. He shoves two thick fingers into you without warning and you fall forward with a strangled moan, hands supporting your weight on his shoulders as he pumps his fingers in and out, your cunt tight around him.

“Always so wet for me, huh? Need me to make you feel good?” He stares at you, eyes shut and mouth hanging open as he slows his hand and you force out a yes, your voice hoarse. He speeds up again and curls his fingers into that one spot he knows you can’t reach with your own hand, brushing over it again and again, the palm of his hand grinding against your clit.

Your legs start trembling and he pulls his fingers out and slips them into his mouth, sucking them clean. “Taste so sweet.”

He moves his legs between yours and pulls you towards him and down onto his lap, guiding your hips back and forth over his length, precome leaking from his tip. He leans forward, “You gonna keep these on while you sit on my cock, yeah?” and tugs on the waistband of your panties, letting the elastic snap back against your skin. You nod frantically in response and lean into him, wrapping your arms around his neck to kiss him haphazardly. He licks into your mouth and moans into you, hands firmly gripping your ass.

You rise slightly and he takes hold of his cock, stroking himself and pulls your panties to one side. He lines himself up with your entrance and you start to sink down, eyes screwing shut at the stretch. He holds you by the waist, your hands like a vice grip on his shoulders and it takes everything in him not to pull you down and make you take him to the hilt. You take your time working him in, inch by inch, and Joel can tell how close you are already, your broken moans getting louder and louder.

You’re fully seated and he takes a hand off his shoulder, plants a kiss on your knuckles and guides it between your bodies, spreading your fingers around where he’s splitting you open. “You feel how stretched you are, baby?” You gasp and he leans towards you and lifts his hand to grip across your chin, mouth ghosting yours and squeezes his hand to purse your lips. 

“Open,” he orders and your lips part, spitting into your mouth and he feels you tightening around him. Pushing his index finger into your mouth, you suck and swirl your tongue around it, moaning as you lift up and down, grinding yourself onto the trail of hair at the base of his cock. Joel feels your legs starting to give out underneath you and he watches you with hooded eyes. He pulls his finger from your mouth and wraps his arms around you, hands reaching down underneath your panties to grab your ass and spread you wider. He prods his finger at your tight hole and your eyes shoot open to look at him, desperate and needy.

“You gonna come for me?” You whine and nod, almost begging him with a please, over and over again. He pushes his finger in to just past his middle knuckle and you moan out wantonly, already completely wrecked. Joel feels your cunt clamp down on his cock and you come with a sob of his name, eyes shut and face contorted in pleasure as he whispers praises in your ear.

-

At some point in your post-orgasm haze, Joel moved the two of you onto the bed — you waiting on all fours and Joel's voice breaking through from somewhere behind you.

“Did good sweetheart, always do, but I’m not done with you.” His hands are all over you, skating across and grabbing any skin he can reach. You crane your neck to look over your shoulder in search of him and notice he’s still fully dressed — well, as fully dressed as he can be — and remember that’s what got you into this position in the first place. Dishevelled greying curls, only the last couple buttons holding his shirt together, wide chest on full display, sleeves rolled up, pants and boxer briefs sitting mid-thigh, his cock, thick and hard and leaking and you clench around nothing just at the sight.

Joel’s hands are all over you, skating across and grabbing any skin he can reach. He hooks his fingers into your waistband and pulls your panties down to the tops of your thighs, placing open-mouthed kisses on the skin as it’s revealed. He spreads you with his hands and spits onto your pussy and you let out a choked moan. He drags the tip of his cock through your folds and the messy mix of arousal and spit and your last orgasm. You feel him notch at your entrance again, and he sheaths himself fully inside your cunt in one thrust, all but punching the air from your lungs and he groans. You feel the swell of his tummy pressed against you and his fingers digging into your ass as he spreads you open. “Look so beautiful like this, wish you could see it.”

He leans over you, breathing into your neck, “Always take my cock so well, baby.” He pulls out almost completely, snapping his hips back into you and you can already feel heat pooling at the base of your spine again as he pounds into you, fingers gripping your hips so hard he’s bound to leave bruises. He snakes a hand underneath you to rub your clit and you feel your legs start to tremble.

All you can think is Joel Joel Joel, and his voice cuts through the ringing in your ears, husky and breathless. “You gonna give me one more, yeah? Come for me, sweetheart. Be a good girl and come on my cock,” and you all but see stars behind your eyes, overwhelmed with the sweet praise. He stills as you come, his hands and affirming words keeping you grounded as you clench and gush around him.

He wraps his arms around you and pulls you up flush against him, your head falling back onto his shoulder and you’re not sure you can form words anymore, your chest heaving as you try to get your breathing back to normal. You turn your head towards him and he kisses you surprisingly gently.

“Can you be good just a bit longer?” He starts grinding his hips into you and you whine, your hands coming up to hold his arms. “Always such a good girl for me, hm?” He drags his mouth along the side of your neck and you nod tiredly, feeling him smile.

He starts with slow thrusts, his grip around you the sole reason you’re still upright, his voice in your ear and hot breath on your neck and the heavy, familiar, drag of his cock in and out making you dizzy.

“So fuckin’ tight around me sweetheart. Your favourite feeling, isn’t it? Being stuffed full of my cock?” He starts rambling on and you know he’s close. “You want me to come inside you? Want me to come inside your tight little pussy?”

“Yes, please. Please come inside me.”

He mumbles incoherently and you tighten your hands on his arms; his thrusts get harder and his arms stiffen in their hold around you and you feel him twitching as he starts to spill inside you, warmth coating your walls. He lowers you both to lie down as he comes down from his high, cock still buried deep inside you and you feel his spend start to leak out around him and down your thighs.

-

Shifting around and your eyes fluttering open, you’re wrapped up in Joel’s arms, head burrowed against his chest. You reach down and feel he’s cleaned you up and pulled fresh panties on you, a faint throbbing between your thighs. He stirs next to you and presses a kiss to your forehead, long and tender.

“Sorry, fell asleep,” you mumble and wrap an arm around his torso to press yourself into him even more.

He pulls back slightly, lifting your chin with a finger to look at him. “Sweetheart, think we’ve done this enough that I know you get sleepy afterwards. Stop apologising.” He cradles your cheek, kisses you sweetly and whispers, “Now go back to sleep.”

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction

[nyrasproblm]

Can we have Atreides!reader (Paul sister) angst🙏🏻

We need sibling angst

Hey, hope you like 🤍 I made a two-part story!

I hope you never regret letting yourself be carried away by your ambition

part 1 of 2

Paul Atreides x platonic!atreides!reader (sister)

Word Count: 1,9K

Warning: a little angst, mention of character death, mention of sensitive graphic content.

second part can be found here

You felt loved for a few years in your life, a few years. Then your brother was born and you were thrown aside. Your mother, wife of Duke Leto, gave him only one daughter, you. But she was unable to give birth to more children before becoming pregnant became a risk to her life.

To "preserve" her health, your father sent her back to her home planet, but you weren't stupid, he wanted to get rid of something that he no longer had any use for. But you stayed, you screamed and kicked, typical of a child, you begged to stay with your mother, but your father didn't allow it. At that time, you were his appointed heir, Paul was only a few years old baby.

When the time came, you would rule Caladan, sit on your father's throne, and be Duchess of Caladan.

That was it, until Paul turned 15.

"I formally name my first son Paul as my heir, future Duke of Caladan." your father informed in front of his army. "Atreides!"

The crowd of soldiers shouted 'Atreides' back. You were on a platform facing them, Paul was on your father's left side, Jessica was on his right side, you were on Paul's side. You kept your head down throughout the speech, it was too humiliating. You saw Paul turning his head slightly to look at you, but you didn't dare look back.

You felt Paul reach out his hand and try to hold yours, but you pulled yours away and closed it into a fist tightly.

When the naming ceremony was over, you were the first one out of there.

Despite being publicly humiliated and thrown aside, you tried to see the positive side: now you could go live with your mother. You hadn't seen her since your 20th birthday, that was 5 years ago and your father didn't let you go visit her. If you became duchess, you would bring her back to Caladan and you would be together forever, but now that Paul was the heir, you had another option.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a servant informing you that your father wanted to have dinner with you. Biting back the urge to roll your eyes, you thanked him and headed towards the dining room.

You pretended not to care when you saw that it would be just the two of you for dinner, Lady Jessica and your brother would not be present.The only ones present besides you two were the servants. Your father smiled widely as you sat down in front of him.

"My little princess." he tried to pull your hand away to kiss it, but you pulled back.

"I don't like it, you know." you sighed.

He took a deep breath and passed his hand over his forehead.

"I suppose you are dissatisfied with your brother's appointment." he began. "But we both knew this time would come, my dear, Paul is my first son."

You remained silent, took a sip of wine and looked anywhere but at him.

"If it makes you feel more satisfied, you can visit your mother, you miss her, right?" he tried to take her hand again and this time he succeeded.

"Of course, daddy, of course I miss the woman who gave birth to me, who I've been deprived of seeing my entire life." you felt your neck heat up from the growing anger. "But that doesn't make up for the fact that my birthright was taken away from me."

"I already explained to you how things-"

"I'm the oldest! I'm the daughter of the lawful wife, Paul is a bastard." you let go of his hand and looked at him with wide, teary eyes. "It was supposed to be me."

"Don't talk like that, your brother loves you." he said, looking disappointed.

You picked up the glass and gulped down the wine.

You knew Paul would come to you when you decided to go for a walk near one of Caladan's cliffs. You sat on the stone bench facing the sea and looked at the immense expanse of water in silence. You heard your brother's clumsy footsteps approaching across the muddy ground, he sat on the bench next to you but you didn't turn your head to look at him. He sighed loudly.

"I'm not a bastard."

Of course, of course this had already reached his ears. The servants were fast.

"I said in a moment of anger." you said.

"I understand you." he turned his face to look at you. "I wanted you to take father's place."

"But not your mother." you turned your calm face to him. "She wants you to be Duke."

"I don't know if that's true, but I didn't want to inherit his place, you know."

You remained silent, Paul sighed again in annoyance.

Paul had tried to get close to you his entire life, following you wherever you went, if you were in one place then he was sure to be there too. You were grateful for that, it made your father pay some attention to you when he went after Paul, but as the years went by Paul became more busy with classes and training, so he stopped following you as often, but here they were you.

"My mother said you miss yours." he said softly. "When I'm duke, you can bring her here, or go live with her, or visit her, whatever you want."

"You shouldn't have accepted that."

"What?"

"Being named heir, you knew it was supposed to be me." you frowned in annoyance.

"It's not like I can deny it, you know that." he defended himself.

"You could have tried to change his mind, you could have denied it for a while." you glared at him angrily. "It was supposed to be me."

Paul stood up suddenly and turned to you.

"My mother is right when she says that your ambition drives you." he took a deep breath. "I love you, I don't want to walk away from you."

Apparently you weren't the only person dissatisfied with Paul's appointment as heir, the servants and some officials were murmuring about it in the halls. About a week later, about a week after Paul's appointment and the discussions you had with your father and brother, a maid entered your chambers carrying a message. A message from the Emperor.

Your father would be appointed to rule Arrakis, Lord Fenring would rule Caladan after he left. You would remain to communicate between Caladan and Arrakis.

Apparently, this message also reached your father and he called you into his office, when you entered, Paul was there and Lady Jessica too.

"Father." you said automatically.

"I assume you have read the Emperor's message." he said and continued when you nodded in agreement. "You will be sent to Kaitain to deal with him and Lord Fenring regarding your stay on Caladan."

"I still don't agree with that." Paul chimed in.

"Paul, that's enough." your father continued.

"I don't agree with that, dad. She should go with us, how can we leave her behind." he looked uneasy.

"It's an order from the emperor, Paul. And I'm happy to oblige." you said, making him turn to you.

Paul left the room with a noise, you sighed and raised your eyes to look at your father and Lady Jessica.

On the day you left for Kaitain, Paul hugged you and was reluctant to let you go. You gently pushed him away and held his face in your hands.

"I'll be back before you can miss me." you smiled and kissed his forehead.

You advanced through the line of people who were going to say goodbye to you and stopped in front of your father.

"Why so much formality? I'll be back before you guys go to Arrakis." you mumbled as he held you tightly against him.

"This is the first time in a long time that you have left Caladan." he said as he held the side of your neck. "Honor the name Atreides."

You pulled away and gave him a tiny smile, then moved forward in line again and stopped in front of Lady Jessica, who also opened her arms to you.

"I hope you never regret letting your ambition lead you." she whispered against your ear.

You pulled away and faced her, swallowing hard.

You finished saying goodbye and entered the ship that would take you to Kaitain. Caladan was a sight for sore eyes from afar. Your planet.

Your planet, your throne, your title.

You gracefully walked to the throne room as you entered the Emperor's Palace. Golden and sophisticated decorations were present in every corridor you passed. When the great doors were opened, you saw him sitting on the golden throne, with Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam on his left side. You walked to the center of the room and bowed until your knees almost touched the floor, then looked up politely.

"Your Grace, it is an honor to be in your presence." you said softly, then turned to the woman. "Reverend Mother." you nodded.

"Come closer, girl." the emperor's calm voice spoke and you obeyed, climbing the few steps that led to the throne.

"Activate silence." Reverend mother's voice came and you saw an almost transparent barrier surround you.

"As previously stated, your father will rule Arrakis from now on." the old emperor informed. "And you will remain on Caladan."

"It's an honor for my family-"

"You were your father's legitimate heir, weren't you?" Reverend Mother interrupted your speech.

"Yes, yes, I was." you frowned in confusion. "But my brother-"

"You will have Caladan and his title, girl. But with some conditions." the emperor spoke again.

"Your grace, I don't understand."

"Your family will be massacred on Arrakis, by the Harkonnen of Giedi Prime, the former lords of Arrakis. You have supporters within your Palace, these supporters will kill Lord Fenring and you will become Duchess, but on the condition that you swear loyalty to House Harkonnen, do you understand?" he said.

Your heart beat faster, your breathing became heavy. You never imagined something like this.

"That is a small price for you to have what is rightfully yours." the Reverend Mother spoke again. "Jessica committed a crime when she gave birth to that boy. If you want the Atreides name to survive, do what is being proposed."

"I accept."

You returned to Caladan the day before your family left for Arrakis. As you stood near the ship to say goodbye to them, you felt your heart sink. Paul stopped in front of you and you pressed him against you.

"Always remember that I love you." you whispered against his ear. “No matter what.”

Paul pulled away and smiled widely, his heart sank even more, but he let go. Your father was the next one you hugged.

Maybe in another life, if you were born a man, he would truly love you.

You saw the ship moving away and held back your tears. Your family would be killed tonight.

As the night passed and the next morning arrived, you received confirmation that your family was dead. Taking a deep breath, you nodded for the next part to be done. Lord Fenring would be murdered.

When his head was brought to you, you nodded and sat calmly on the throne that belonged to your father.

"New ruler of Caladan, Duchess Atreides!" the general you had appointed shouted.

Once again, the small crowd shouted 'Atreides' repeatedly.

"General, plot a course from Ginaz to here, my mother will return home." you said and the man nodded, leaving the area.

Things were as they always should have been.

#writing #writers on tumblr #dune fanfiction #fem reader #platonic #paul atreides #muaddib #paul atreides x platonic!reader #dune part 2 #angst

[trinittyy]

fic recs

just a little assortment of my favorite works to keep track of them and also show love to the respective writers.

note - a majority, if not all, of the following works contain dark content that some could find triggering. tread carefully.

divider by @firefly-graphics

toxic affection - @love-toxin

warnings: harassment, bullying, some violence, forced relationship

pairing: yandere!bakugou x reader

literally unashamed to say that BNHA fanfiction is what brought me to Tumblr

but this was one of the first I found and it's epic

what's your escape - @gotnofucks

warnings: obsession, possessive behavior, non-con

pairing: dark!sherlock holmes x reader

the man is disastrously down bad for the poor reader

she was so witty and clever but in the end, he got what he wanted in the most satisfying way

infatuation - @darkficsyouneveraskedfor - masterlist

warnings: mentions of stalking, obsession, non-con

pairing: dark!clark kent x reader

poor girl didn't have a clue or a chance in the world to escape this man

sidenote: I can't add Roo to the recs without mentioning just how talented she is. She was the first proper introduction to dark fics in the Marvel fandom and I've been hooked ever since. The amount of detail and dedication that goes into her work is noticeable and she's a talent that deserves recognition. It's one thing to make me like a fic or two of my favorite Marvel men but another to have me thirst over shit I didn't think I'd like.

naughty ransom holiday tales - @jtargaryen18

warnings: kidnapping, non-con, dub-con

pairing: dark!ransom drysdale x reader

guilty pleasure series

hate to love ransom but I can't help it

what the king has - @sincerelythedarkside

warnings: dub-con, character death

pairing: soft!dark steve rogers x reader

royal au

love me a good jealous steve

plot twist shocked the shit outta me

smut was out of this fucking world

love bites - @cherienymphe - masterlist

warnings: character death, jealousy, non-con

pairing: dark!steve rogers x reader, peter parker x reader

modern vampire au (what's not to love there)

this actually made me cry like a bitch

ongoing series

sidenote: Seeing as Cherie will be on this list many times, I have to say it's difficult not to add every piece of work on this list because while some writers have a magnum opus, everything she writes is a work of art. Her range and the backstory she puts in her characters make each story feel like a movie I just can't get enough of. Will forever love her writing.

kryptonite - @cherienymphe

warnings: non-con, obsession

pairing: dark!bruce wayne x reader

the build-up and tension gave me actual chills

trailer park babydoll - @mypoisonedvine

warnings: dub-con, infidelity, age gap

pairing: wayne munson x reader

guilty pleasure fic

absolute filthy smut

wrath of the dragon - @straywords

warnings: non-con, chasing

pairing: dark!daemon targaryen x reader

yet another down bad man

overdue - @darkficsyouneveraskedfor

warnings: creepy curtis, non-con, obsessive behavior

pairing: dark!curtis everett x reader

there's little to nothing i love more than a good ole broody man with attachment issues

anxious - @syntheticavenger

warnings: stalking, kidnapping

pairing: dark!peter parker x reader

tasm peter

cutest in a way lol little fic

the dream that got away - @dotieeee

there's not nearly enough dark fics ft my fave peter so I love this one

warnings: dub-con, non-con, manipulation, controlling behavior, obsession

pairing: dark!morpheus x oc!mera

probably the first dark fic about morpheus

each chapter was a masterpiece

and i still haven't seen the show lol

thanks for the invite - @syntheticavenger

warnings: non-con, bitchy friend behavior, implied drugging (i think), oral (f receiving), slight bondage

pairing: dark!lloyd hansen x reader

a funny little unhinged lloyd fic

rsvp - @syntheticavenger

warnings: dub-con, hide and seek, exasperated bodyguard, exhibitionism (a bit)

sequel to the fic listed above

lloyd is still unhinged and reader is still suffering

#fic rec #dark fic #dark!clark kent #dark!peter parker #dark!steve rogers #dark!lloyd hansen #dark!morpheus #dark!curtis everett #dark!sherlock holmes #dark!daemon targaryen #dark!bruce wayne #dark!bakugou #dark!ransom drysdale #x reader

[blueberrypancakesworld]

hi hi!!! can you pretty pretty please write a fic where dead takes the reader’s virginity after they had been dating for a while. and it’s really soft and sweet

My heart

warning : smut, p in v, not to graphic, fluff/comfort, kissing, some aftercare

Info : So it took a while and after some days of no motivation I finally bring this to an end. I hope you like it dear anon have fun reading everyone else too ;)

masterlist

Disclaimer : I don't want to glorify anything, it's about the actors who play a role, not the real events.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Love is not always easy, but when was it, especially in the case of the singer of the band who saw themselves as the messengers of Satan, the beginnings of Norwegian black metal.

But how did it happen that on this dark evening he found himself in a sea of clothes that were neither decorated with rivets nor patches. On the contrary, his blue eyes were fixed on the body beneath him.

His cold pale hands had gently wrapped around hers, her hands kissing each finger individually until she was ready to open them and slide onto the bed. ,,Are you sure, my heart?" the blonde asked, his hair spilling over his shoulder and tickling her still lightly clothed torso. Was she ready?

She had always wanted to be, or was that not why she had fallen in love in the first place? When she had seen the singer at a concert, it was love at first sight. Love that they both now wanted to consummate on a physical level. In a way that they both knew would be pleasant, careful and slow.

The blond, despite his morbid nature, knew that his heart needed her time. ,,Y-Yes I'm sure...I trust you Dead" he received her answer and couldn't hide his grin, which he didn't often do. But ever since they'd gotten together, they'd wanted to do it. engaging her in another gentle kiss, his hands slowly wrapped around the clasp of her bra.

A glance at her was further confirmation as she slowly lowered her hands before the penultimate piece of clothing fell between them. ,,Don't be afraid... I would always love you," he murmured, kissing her cheeks, which had heated up with shame and accompanying arousal.

The blonde dropped the garment on the bed before gently beginning to massage her breasts. Her breathing slowly increased, her skin warm and soft everywhere he touched.

She was filled with life, something he loved so much in his own dead being. ,,And I love you...forever," she replied, an almost cautious sigh escaping her as he kissed her lips again before turning his attention to hers. Kisses and gentle love bites left a kiss for every little bite, sucking on her jugular vein.

He watched her reaction and gave her time if it got too much for a moment. ,,Feels...good," she whispered, watching Dead's eyes light up with pride and devotion as he continued to kiss his way down her body, his hands tracing little circles and her own hands, daring her to put her own hands on him.

To hold and feel him. The slight upsurge of her body as he placed his lips on her tender breasts, the first time she had been touched like this, pleasured like this. The light scratching over his skin as her arousal made Dead sigh.

She watched as the blonde slowly moved down her body. ,,I'm making you feel good...promise" she heard him say, trying to concentrate on him, the warmth, the soft mattress and his touch. The blond did not let himself be deprived of spoiling her further as he kissed the soft skin of his favorite.

,,You don't know how long I've loved you... wanted to do this," he confessed and she thought she saw a pinkish tinge on his cheeks. His blue eyes settled on her body as he watched her as if she were a work of art, his work of art. Something he cherished, loved and would love forever.

Dead knew that until the end of his already dead life he would love her, there was no other way. Kissing his way up her thighs, leaving light marks, he felt her tense a little again. ,,Hey hey my heart...I'll be careful okay?" he asked this over and over in the same soft patient tone as his hands finally settled on her and his last piece of clothing between them.

She gave him her consent and their underwear slid to the floor. ,,My pretty Eve," he quipped, seeing the little smirk on her lips as she followed it with a ,,My pretty dead Adam" she pulled him into another kiss before he positioned himself properly. His hands slid to hers for a moment between them before he entered her. His gasp at her moaning out hit them both as they took a moment to get used to the feeling.

She continued to hold herself against the mattress and Dead before she gave him a small nod and he began to move. Slowly and rather carefully but it was just right for them both. They knew that in all the time they had been together that they wanted to take their time and now they were finally together.

They finally had what they wanted and needed. Each other. His gaze only became more full of love and lust as it met hers and the bond between them was strengthened.

His lips searched hers again, his fingers stroking hers as they both held each other. ,,So beautiful," he murmured, kissing her again, feeling his fingers scratching his pale skin as he found the right spot. Her sounds echoed louder and louder through the room as he placed his hand on her breast again.

The massage and the taking of her sensitive spots seemed to bring her to her climax. When she breathlessly tried to tell him just a few moments later, she held onto him and he spoke sweet words to her.

She tightened around him, hearing his own moans as her body reared up slightly and the moment seemed to last forever. Dead herself as she muffled after she came down from her high.

They both just hung on for a moment as they both tried to catch their breath. ,,That...was...unbelievable I love you," he murmured as he sat down next to her and pressed a kiss to her cheek, his fingers playing with a strand of hair as he watched his darling barely seem to believe it had happened. ,,I love you too," she replied, brushing a strand of hair from his face before snuggling up to him. Knowing full well that they would not repeat this just once and had all time they needed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@icarus-star

#lords of chaos movie #lords of chaos #lords of chaos dead #jack kilmer #loc dead x reader #lords of chaos dead x reader

[justjams2003]

Fast Pace-6

I do apologize to everyone who has been waiting so so long for this. I was shadowbanned and didn't want to upload anything while, because then you guys can't read it :(. But now, you guys can!

Summary: You're a hard-working Chef in Paris and after a freak accident run-in with Carlos Sainz, your life makes a 180. Let's just say with a certain agreement, you get your bills paid and in return stand in as Carlos' girlfriend for the press. But will you be able to handle the pressure and ensure the lines don't blur?

Pairing: Sugar Daddy!Carlos Sainz x Sugar Baby!Reader

Warnings: I've aged up Carlos, he is 33 in this fic. Smoking, smut, sexual themes, age difference, manipulation, control, slight obsession, the word 'daddy', tell me if I missed any

Dividers by: @firefly-graphics and @s-silk

Taglist: @httpjeonlicious, @f1lov3r, @messersandmesses, @hollie911, @oriconde08 @thehufflepuffavenger1 @fanboyluvr @thatgirlmj @whyamireadingthis @oriconde08 @depressedriches @roseseraj @skepvids @sain55wifey @distinguishedvoidlady @amatswimming @sachaa-ff @lightdragonrayne @lazybot @dark-night-sky-99 @formula1mount @fangirl-dot-com @saintslewis

Word count: 2,9k

Masterlist

Part 5~Part 7

A loud thunder crack causes a few people in the restaurant's head to snap up to the sky. Including my dear Y/N. Is she scared of thunder? Caco did not tell me this.  

Usually, my mind would immediately worry about the race. How will the rain affect the car? How will the rain affect the track? How the rain affect my driving? Not now, ever since saw her for the first-time racing has been at the far back of my mind. If Caco or any of the Ferrari team knew this, they’d want to get rid of her as soon as possible. But if she has to leave so do I.  

Her big brown eyes look up to me with concern and it just makes me want to wrap her up in my arms and never let go. Now, I worry about her getting wet. She might get sick or slip and fall. I did not bring an umbrella. I bring up my phone and go to dial the driver, but I’m interrupted before I can make the call.  

“What are you doing?” Those delicate brows of hers pull together while she asks me. “I’m calling a driver.” We haven’t finished eating, barely halfway through the meal but I’d kick myself if she develops a cold so soon in my care. There is a twinkle in her eyes and a smile pulls at her cheeks. “Why would you do that?” I can’t help but want to know what she is thinking.  

“I don’t want you to get sick, querida.” I lean forward, wanting to take her hand and caress it, but I’m not sure if she’ll allow me yet. A small laugh, a gentle one, she’s clearly amused with me, escapes her lips. “I’m sure a little rain won’t hurt. I’m not made of sugar.” She shrugs and can’t imagine that someone has such little care for their well-being. Especially someone as valuable as her.  

Consistently, my brow raises. “Care to explain the medical bills I paid then?” Her cheeks light up and her eyes drag down to her shoes again. Now that her hair is down, she insists on hiding behind it. But when her eyes meet me again, she seems to beg for me to forget about it. How could I ever forget anything about her? “In any case, for me you are made candy floss.”  

“You know, that reminds me of a poem. The author of it unknown, some people accredit it to Shakespear but clearly, they did not pay attention in English class if they think that. The true poet is unknown, but some consider it to be Qyazzirah Syeikh Ariffin. He says that you love the rain, but you open your umbrella. You love the sun but hide in the shade. It goes on but later he says that he fears what it means to be loved.”  

Her words are so captivating, and her mind is something that I’d get lost in. The words she speaks, to me it’s like listening to a professor. One who has studied years to know exactly what they are saying. If she was my teacher, I’d get 100%, because I’d cling to her every word. If I could have her talking forever, I’d make sure I will live forever so that I may hear every word.  

“How do you know this?” I ask, needing her to say more. She gives the cutest shrug. “It was between cooking or teaching English. I thought I’d make more money cooking and my parents wanted me to choose something more stable.” My blood boils thinking her parents wouldn’t support her true dream. How could they not see the beauty I see?  

“But do you like it? The cheffing I mean.” She seems to think for a moment, biting her lip. If she does it, one more time I wonder if I’ll have control. But I must, I can’t scare her off. I can’t bear to lose her. And I won’t. Not of my own doing and not by anybody else’s. I’ll give her the world and make sure no one can give her anything else or take anything from her.  

“Um... I did, at the beginning. When I could move to the centre of France, Paris. When I got to be independent, but it soon turned out to be more than I bargained for. I quickly got sick, because I wasn’t eating well. My mind wanders and it would take my mother calling for me to realise I hadn’t eaten. And then I fell behind on the bills. The stress made me smoke more which made me sicker.” Ah I see.  

The big world just got too much for my baby. She’s too small to know how to care for herself. I see now why she needs me so. Her mind wanders to a fantasy world. She wants to be someone big and important. And paramount people don’t have to worry about those small things like what to eat and drinking enough water.  

“Are you feeling any withdrawals yet? I know it was a bit thing to ask but you must know that I just want you to be as healthy as possible. So that you can enjoy all the things in life I want to give you.” She gives a coy smile and shakes her head. “No, it’s the least I can do for all you’ve done so far. I thought I’d be stuck with that debt for the rest of my life.”  

She rolls her eyes just thinking about it. I could see the moment the money was transferred that her shoulders got lighter, and her smile got brighter. I won’t let another thing in the world affect her like this. Nothing will ever again sit on her shoulders. “If you feel even slightly off tell me immediately.” She nods, hiding her face again.  

It irritates me, I want to see her as much as I can. I reach up and tuck her hair behind her ear. I’ll have to get her some hair accessories, just to make sure she doesn’t hide from me anymore.  

Because I can get her anything. She has me to provide for her and make sure that she stays in the most pristine condition. Now she can go of in her fantasy world and I’ll stay on earth to make her bubble doesn’t burst. “So, you don’t want to work as a cook anymore?” I need to ask, and I need to know exactly what her dreams consist of so that I may make it a reality.  

Again, she bites her lip, and I can feel my trousers grow tight. How on earth has she been roaming this earth? How are people not fighting tooth and nail to be in my position? “I think I’d much prefer something...slower. Less stressful, you know? I’d like to cook, yes, but rather at home or maybe even have my own show!”  

The excitement twinkles in her eyes again and I must know more. “When I was younger, my mother would teach me how to cook and I’d always imagine that I'm on a program. We’d watch master chef and I’d always imagine being Christina Tosi or Amandine Chaignot. But even then more than anything I wanted to be involved in fashion. In any shape or form. Even if I had to cook to the models.”  

She laughs, ever so slightly and I can see the memories flash behind her eyes. Then it will be so. Then suddenly we can both hear a slight pitter patter fall on the roof top. Her eyes instantly snap right over my shoulder. Watching as the pavement turn from concrete grey to cloudy grey.  

“As I was saying before. If it rains I am not afraid to get wet. If it snows I will not be afraid of the cold. And if I ever fall in love I hope I treat it the same.” I can’t help but lean in closer. I can’t help myself. In every sense I need to be as close as possible to her. Even if, for now, I don’t know if she wants me to be as near as I want to be.  

But when she looks up at me with those big doe eyes, my actions become uncontrolable. Her gaze makes me feel like a prescious jewel being discovered for the first time. Even if it is her who is Painite, rarer than Diamonds, rarer than Emeralds. Her hands are just too resistable, her skin too soft. I take her hand in mine, but refuse to look anywhere but her hypnotic eyes.  

I bring her knuckles to my lips and place a slow, gentle kiss. “You promise?” Her fair cheeks turn a rosy pink colour. She bites her lips and it takes everything in me not to kiss her. “I can’t make any promoses, Carlos. Emotions aren’t to be controlled or guarenteed. They are free and wild and only earned.”  

“Then I will earn your heart.”  

My heart breaks that I had to leave her, but my personal trainer had been blowing up my phone. I know he’s right. I know I have to keep my body up to standard for the racing. Even then, my mind is still with her. I had let her play in the rain after our late lunch. I could see in her eyes that she so badly wanted to play.  

I told her that I’ll buy her everything all over again just to see her happy. Just to see her enjoy herself I’d let her rip the entire hotel appart. This did make her smile and it melted my heart. I didn’t care for the people staring, or the people taking pictures. All I see is the twinkle in her eyes and those cheeks become round with a wide smile.  

When I left her, her nose and cheeks were rosy pink and she was cold to the touch. I told her to take a shower and bundle up. I was honestly struggling to keep my head straight while gyming. The thought of the water fallings over those soft curves of hers makes me hot and heavy. It makes me adrenaline go crazy and my mind fuzzy. My trainer said I hit a new PR on the weights.  

I had been gone for at least an hour or two, but the sun had long since set. The girls I’d been with before, yes they were kind, yes they were sweet, but they just weren’t her. It was the moment I set my eyes on her in that restuarant, I knew I had to have her. They feared the public eye, they wanted nothing to do with the most important parts of my life. She craves it, she’s there whenever I need her.  

I found her curled up on the couch. She’d taken the extra cushions and comforters and build herself a bed there. The blankets are all the way up to her nose. She’s curled into a little ball. Taking up as little space as possible. My heart flutters and my cock goes hard. I need a shower.  

Why would she do that? Hadn’t I told her to sleep on the bed? Why does she insist on defying me when all I do is for her betterment? Terco como siempre. I prepare the bed, making sure there isn’t a single then wrong. I pick her up bridal style, up close I can hear the very light snores. She doesn’t wake, however, she cuddles up closer to me. And when I tuck her in nice and close and can’t help but notice how innocent she looks with her new pj’s.  

She clings to my shirt when I lay her down, in her subconscious she needs me as much as I need her. More than the money, more than the fame, more than the job. She wants me, she needs me. I am nothing without her and I must make sure that I will never loose her.  

After the shower, she’d thrown the duvet off to the side. She’d spread out across the bed and her shirt had ridden up right under her breast. And suddenly I need a cold shower again. Her skin is soft, like a freshly hatched dove. Her skin the same colour too and I can’t but want her to get more sun.  

My hands move without control again. Her delicate curves are like a magnet to my body. I make sure to be as soft and slow as I can, to not make a noise. Just slightly hovering above her small body. My lips make contact with the arch of her collarbone, just small gentle kisses. I do not make a sound, but she sure does. Smalls whimpers and whines escape her lips.  

Mi pequeña wants this. Still deep in sleep, but her hands grab for me. Yearn for me, like I do to her. Just soft, almost ticklish kisses on her collar. Worshipping her like I so badly want to. But, for now, I won’t take it any further. Call it but a goodnight kiss. I slept on the couch, otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to control myself.  

“Dulce niña, what happened here? Did you hurt yourself while I was gone?” Carlos’ hands come up to your neck. You instantly notice how his hands are big enough to wrap around your entire neck, you’re sure. Your brows intertwine, you know what he’s talking about. You tried curling your hair, to look good if there are cameras, but clearly you need more practice.  

His brows furrow and concern fill his eyes. The look in his eyes is the same as last night, in your dreams. You can remember his big stromg arms taking holding you. Of those storming eyes commanding you to scream his name. If he found out about these filthy dreams you had, you’d sink into the ground of embarresment. He’s a classy guy who hasn’t asked for anything more than a smile, now you’re the one thinking of his skin on yours.  

 Not only that but you woke up in the bed this morning, even after going to bed on the couch. You and your girls had been talking for longer than you’d realised, likely falling asleep while on the phone call. They’d been just as excited as you were about the whole day. Both of them swooning and wishing their partners would do and say what he does.  

You heard him coming back while you were getting ready. “No, no, don’t start with that mister.” You say, jabbing him in his chest. He’s sweaty and had clearly just come back from the gym. It’s already 07:30. His eyebrows furrow together. “I told you that I’d sleep on the couch. You are a very important person and need your full rest.”  

A smirk forms on his face and it only makes you more annoyed. He crosses his arms and leans back, clearly done listening. “You already take care of me, give me a chance to take care of you. Relationships are 50/50. Even the more...unconventoinal ones.” You can’t help but hold onto his shirt, really wanting to drive the point home. “I agree, you tell me what you want and I give it to you. 50/50.”  

You fold your arms together and roll your eyes. “Vous êtes impossible.” Something compared to a growl escapes his throat. He pulls you close to him by the hips. “I like it when you talk French to me.” Then his hand grazes your collar again. “Now tell me, what happened.” Concern is etched into his eyes and his touch is as gently as can be.  

You shrug, “I wanted to curl my hair, but I haven’t used the curling iron in a few years...” He looks confronted with your words. “If you know you can’t use it, why risk hurting yourself.” He tucks a strand of now wavy hair behind your ear. You shrug and look up at him, “I wanted to impress you.” He lets out a loud laugh and takes your face in his hands.  

“You’re too cute. What’d I do to have someone like you share a hotel room with me?” His eyes look and it makes you feel so warm inside. “You paid me,” your answer is blunt but the truth. You’re still not entirely sure where you stand in this strange relationship. He laughs just like before, “That reminds me, I got you something.”  

He then opens his gym bag and then pulls out a handfull of things. He hands them to you and you can see it’s a bunch of hair accesories. A gold headband, a gold claw clip and some scrunchies of various colours. You furrow your brows at him and he ecplains himself by taking the headband and carefully guiding it across your hair. “I don’t like how you hide from me. This should make sure that you can’t anymore.” Your cheeks go pink, he noticed.  

“Can I ask you a really strange question?” You’re not sure why now you decided to ask the question that’s been forming in your bind. It just slipped out and when he looks at you like that you don’t have much control anymore. “Always.” He smiles, still fixing your hair.  “Do I have to call you daddy?”  

His hand stops and his eyes meet yours. He forms a slight grin and then pulls your closer by the shoulders. He bends down low and then whispers in your ear. “Only when you want something.”  

My taglist is open, just ask!

#carlos sainz #carlos sainz jr #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz smut #sugar daddy!carlos sainz x sugar baby!reader #sugar daddy!carlos sainz #sugar daddy!carlos sainz x reader #formula one #formula 1 #f1 #formula 1 x reader #f 1 x reader #f1 xreader

[snek-panini]

It's been a month since Binderary ended but I've still got books to share! This is @worse0mens's (hi!) wonderful Good Omens series, The Blossom Realm, which starts with Omens of Another Kind. This is very much a longtime favorite of mine, an AU with a really compelling combo of worldbuilding and characterization. This is a believable grand romance that's also a court drama and a fairy tale, and it's really long (the full series is about 220k words) so it will keep you reading for a long time. This is one of the fics I learned bookbinding for, and it was the first really long fic that I typeset (and redid once I learned more about typesetting). It's been a long road but it was so worth it.

More photos under the cut!

Couple of photos of the spines. The series doesn't divide easily, with one very long work, one medium-length one, and several shorter pieces. The main story is nearly 200k on its own, the longest single volume I've ever made (about 500 pages), and I was worried about it getting too unwieldy, so I put all the other works into their own volume of about 100 pages. They make a disparate set but I love them. The cover is done in skiver green faux leather from Hollander's; I've never worked with this brand before but I loved it, and one sheet was big enough to do both books. The titles are done in cricut brand gold foil htv. There were some issues with that, as I'd bought a multi-pack with a few different colors and only found out after applying the front cover graphics on both books that one, I didn't have enough to do the backs and spines; two, that the gold in that pack is a totally different color than the gold they sell on its own; and three, that no one in my area stocked it anymore and I had to order it from Europe. Here's what the back looks like:

It's the same graphic as the front but without the title in the center, and it's one of the fanciest backs I've ever done and it took forever to weed all those little cutouts. The graphic was free to use on rawpixel. The font I used on the spines and front is a basic Microsoft font called Harrington that worked incredibly well on the cricut, even at small sizes; a lot of basic fonts are too thin, especially fancy ones, so this was a delightful surprise.

Photo of the top, with ribbon bookmark and handmade double core endbands. The endbands didn't come out as well as I'd have liked; they're a little uneven and the color changes aren't that evenly spaced. Double core ones are harder than I expected and I need more practice. The endpapers are chocolate silk moire, and I chose them because there's a very important massive tree in the fic and I thought they looked like wood grain. I did a little experimenting with the shorter volume that's visible around the edges of the endpaper. I wanted gilded edges but the longer book had to be rounded, and I thought I'd try paint instead of foil since I don't know how to foil a curved edge. But I did my experiments on the smaller volume and I couldn't get good coverage, so the edge had to be trimmed off. The watered-down paint had leaked into the edge of the silk moire too far for me to trim, so it's still there. But it's kind of pretty, so I'm going to call it an aesthetic choice.

The title pages are the same, with free graphics from rawpixel. I got lucky and found a similar set of roses that I used for the chapter headers:

These had to be positioned by hand for each chapter so they'd fit around the text properly. It was a pain but they look so pretty. The final photo contains a story spoiler, so proceed with caution if you don't want that:

The scene break image in both volumes is this tiny snake. This was one of the first aesthetic choices I made for the books. A lot of the plot is centered around a prophecy about a monster snake that everyone thinks will destroy the kingdom, and of course in the manner of Good Omens fic it's a wildly inaccurate misinterpretation and not a threat at all. I wanted something like this because the snake is not only non-threatening but it's been here the entire time and there was never any reason to freak out about it. It was surprisingly difficult to find a snake image that was both simple enough to still be clear at this size and also didn't look dangerous or like a cartoon character. I looked at so many snakes before I found this one, it's ridiculous.

And that's it! I hope the author likes it (and remembers me since I asked to do this almost a year ago). There are three more binderary posts forthcoming, though I don't know how long it'll take me to get to them. It was a busy month.

#bookbinding #fanbinding #snek makes books #good omens #fic rec #everyone look at my books they are so pretty #and then go read the fic it's so good omg

[atimeofyourlife]

Writing this because I've been in a flare-up of migraines and I want to make someone else suffer for it Cw: migraines and mentions of vomiting throughout, nothing graphic but it's there This was supposed to be quite short and quick but it ended up being 6.8k of making Steve suffer.

Migraines had almost always been a part of Steve's life, right from when he was young. They were genetic, his mother also suffered from them, as did his grandmother, two aunts, and three cousins.

His earliest memories included the times when his mother would be struck with a migraine, hiding in a dark room waiting for the pain to pass, barely able to move between the bed and the ensuite bathroom. Steve knew he couldn't play loudly at those times, as it would make it so much worse, and that he was only allowed to knock on the door in a real emergency.

He got his first migraine at age seven. He woke up with a pain that made his head feel like it was splitting in two. He tried to open his eyes but the small amount of light seeping in around his curtains made the pain so much worse. He could only let out a weak, pained cry before throwing up all over himself and his bed. He stayed sat in his bed, sobbing quietly with his eyes screwed up tight, not wanting to move and make more of a mess. He wanted his momma to be there and hold him, but anything he could do to get her attention would only be met with even more pain. After some time, to him, it felt like forever, but in reality, was only a few minutes, his mother came to wake him up.

"Steve, time to wake up, it's time for school." She opened the door as she called for him.

Steve whimpered as more light flooded into the room, even with his eyes closed it hurt.

"What happened, baby?" She asked as she took in the scene in front of her.

"Hurts, momma." He cried, wanting her to take away the pain.

"What hurts, Stevie? Is it your head?"

Steve barely managed a nod, the slightest movement causing the pain in his head to intensify.

"Oh, baby, let's get you cleaned up." She lifted him out of bed, not caring that his sick was transferring onto her shirt. She made sure his face was tucked into her neck to block out any light, before carrying him to the bathroom. She set him down by the toilet, and stripped him of his soiled clothing.

"I'll be back in a moment, I'm just going to get you some fresh jammies." She didn't wait for his response before slipping from the room, leaving the light off. He whined as she left, but had to quickly turn to face the toilet as he started to throw up again.

His momma came back quickly, having removed her dirty shirt while she was out of the room. She put the bundle of clean clothes on the side before kneeling next to Steve, rubbing his back gently until he stopped heaving. Once he was done, she cleaned him up with a washcloth, not wanting to make him wait while she drew a bath or make him stand under the shower. The clothes she'd brought in were his softest pajamas, and she picked him back up once he was dressed, carrying him back out of the bathroom, still trying to block out the light.

He thought she was taking him back to his bedroom, but it was taking longer, going downstairs. He opened his eyes a little after he was laid on a soft bed, realizing he was in the same room his momma normally spent her time in when she had a bad migraine. He whined and reached for her as she moved away.

"I need to go clean up, sweetheart. I'll be back with some medicine once I'm done."

The medicine didn't help, only coming straight back up with the little water he'd drunk. His momma joined him in bed, holding him close until he fell asleep.

When he woke up again, he still felt bad, but the pain in his head had got a bit better.

-

Steve continued to get migraines throughout his childhood, five or six times a year. If it fell on a school day, he would be called out for at least one day, often two or three as he got over the lasting effects of the migraines. Always waking up with it. And every time leaving him struggling in a dark room, and throwing up repeatedly.

The first time he had one around someone outside of his family, he was ten and having a sleepover at Tommy's house. He woke up in his sleeping bag on the floor with the pain in his head. He bit back a whimper of pain, not wanting Tommy to think he was weak. He didn't want to move, but knew he had to get up if he wanted to avoid throwing up on the floor. He got up slowly, carefully, but each move made the pain increase and worsened the nausea. He held a hand over his mouth and the other shielding the light from his eyes. He had to walk fast to get to the bathroom, starting to gag and trying not to retch on the way. He made it just inside the bathroom, but not quite to the toilet before his body gave in and he was throwing up on the tiled floor.

"Ew, gross." Came Tommy's voice from behind him, and Steve instantly felt worse. It was bad enough at home when he didn't make it to the toilet, or at least over a trash can, when he had to throw up from a migraine, even with his momma and so many others in the family knowing what it was like. But to get sick on the floor at someone else's house? Especially when Tommy's mom didn't take kindly to any mess in the house. It was mortifying. He let out a choked sob, and hopped around the puddle of sick to get to the toilet to throw up again.

"I- uh. I'm gonna go get Mom." Tommy backed out of the room, leaving Steve alone. A few tears started to spill over as he wished he was at home, or just anywhere else, somewhere he could curl up in the dark until the pain was gone.

When Mrs Hagan came into the room, he could feel her anger even before she spoke. She berated him loudly, for the mess, over who would clean it up, for the disrespect when he wouldn't look at her, instead keeping his face buried in his arms in an attempt to block out the worst of the light. "Well, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Migraine." Was the only word Steve was able to force out, barely above a whisper. Even saying just the one word made the pain spike, and he curled further into himself, trying to make himself as small as possible.

Mrs Hagan just scoffed, and left the room muttering about calling his parents. Steve just wanted his momma to pick him up and take him home. He didn't notice Tommy coming closer and sitting down next to him.

"What's a migraine?" Tommy asked, his voice softer than usual.

"Headache. Real bad headache." Steve murmured.

"So bad it makes you puke?"

Steve nodded once. "Light hurts."

"Oh." Tommy got up and moved across the room to turn the light off, and came back to sit with Steve.

They sat in silence until two sets of footsteps came along to the bathroom.

"You've been in here for so long and you haven't even tried to clean-" Mrs Hagan started, only to be cut off by Steve's mom.

"Stevie, is it a migraine?" She asked as she crossed the room, carefully avoiding the mess on the floor.

"Uh-huh. Momma, it hurts so bad."

"I know, baby. Let's get you home and in bed." She pulled a pair of dark sunglasses from her pocket, slipping them onto his face to block some of the light, before helping him to his feet. She couldn't lift him like she used to, but held him close so he could bury his face in her side.

"Who is going to clean up this mess, then?" Mrs Hagan demanded.

"You, maybe? It's something you could have done instead of shouting at a sick child for something he couldn't control. Just be thankful he made it to the tile, when he gets like this at home, half the time he doesn't even make it out of bed." Mrs Harrington's tone was quiet, not wanting to make Steve's migraine even worse, but firm and cold. She kept her arm wrapped tight around Steve's shoulders as she guided him from the bathroom.

"I've got your stuff. Feel better, Steve." Tommy came out of his room with Steve's bag.

Steve allowed his mom to take him through the house and out to the car. She buckled him into the backseat, with a bucket beside him in an attempt to protect the upholstery. All he wanted to do was get home, so he could curl up in a dark room and try to sleep it off.

-

Steve's parents started leaving him home alone on occasion when he was twelve. Starting with a day or two at a time, getting a bit longer as he got older.

Luckily, they were never both away when he got a migraine, until a little after he turned fifteen. He woke up one Friday morning, near the end of his freshman year, with the all too familiar pain in his head. The usual rush of nausea sent him lurching for his ensuite bathroom, barely making it in time to throw up.

"Momma?" He called weakly once he was done, only to be met with the silence in the house. It took a few moments for him to remember that he was home alone, his parents had left the day before and wouldn't be back until Sunday evening. He eased himself up and shuffled back into his bedroom so he could call his mom. He opened his eyes as little as possible to read the note with the hotel information on. He dialled the number, and gave the room details.

"Maria Harrington speaking?"

"Momma?" Steve couldn't help whimpering as the pain spiked.

"Oh, Stevie. Another migraine?" She asked.

"Yeah. It hurts so bad."

"Okay, go back to bed, and I'll call the school. Call me again tonight to let me know how you are." She directed.

"Yes, Momma. Love you."

"Love you too, feel better soon sweetheart."

Steve spent most of the day sleeping or running to the bathroom to throw up. He only managed to consume some cold water from the bathroom tap, not wanting to make the effort to get downstairs.

He woke in the early evening, feeling a little better, to the sound of someone knocking on the front door. He tried to drag himself out of bed, but the dizziness starting to take hold made it nearly impossible to move. After a few minutes, he heard the door open and shut, followed by footsteps on the stairs. "Steve, dude? You here?" He heard Tommy call.

"Bedroom." He replied, wincing a little. Tommy must have let himself in using the spare key for the movie night and sleepover they'd planned. At least they hadn't planned for a party.

"Oh, shit. One of your headaches?" Tommy asked as he came into Steve's room.

"Yeah." Steve pushed himself up into a vague sitting position.

"I guess I should go, then. You need anything?" Tommy offered.

"Can you grab me some water? And like toast or something?" Steve asked, settling back against his pillows. He hated cancelling and changing plans, but at least Tommy was understanding about it.

Tommy agreed and left the room, returning a few minutes later with the requested items. He handed the plate to Steve and put several bottles of water on the nightstand. "I would invite you over so you weren't alone, but-" he trailed off, but Steve knew what he was getting at. Ever since the time he'd thrown up on the bathroom floor at a sleepover, Mrs Hagan hadn't let him in the house.

"It's fine. If this doesn't make me puke, I'll just be sleeping it off."

-

After the fight with Jonathan, the migraines became more frequent, happening about once a month. He also got a little more light sensitivity on the days around a migraine, leading him to start carrying sunglasses with him at all times. Everything else was the same, waking up with the agonizing headache, throwing up multiple times, trying to sleep it off, then the lingering dizziness once the pain started to subside. But he had one other thing to contend with. Nancy.

The first one that really affected anything was in January. They hadn't gotten back together until mid-December, then Nancy had been busy with family over Christmas, so she never knew about the migraines Steve got in that time.

But come January, it was nearly impossible to avoid it, with the amount of time they were spending together. Steve was driving Nancy to school most days, and home if their schedules lined up. Date nights. Study dates. Biweekly dinners with Barb's parents.

It was a day when they were supposed to have one of those dinners after school, and Steve woke up with the blinding pain in his head. He rushed out of bed, stumbling as he got caught in his sheets. He knew he wouldn't get to the bathroom in time, so he lunged for the trash can by his desk. He curled around it as he emptied his stomach, throwing up violently.

"Steve?" His mom opened his door, obviously having heard the noise.

"Momma." Steve swallowed hard, trying to will away the nausea. "It's a migraine."

"I know, baby." She moved to sit with him, rubbing his back gently and holding his hair off his face as he started heaving again. "It's okay, Stevie. Get it all out, then you can go back to sleep."

Steve slumped against his mom once he was done, wanting the comfort she was offering and unable to find the energy to move back to bed.

"If you're finished, I can clean that out for you?" She offered after a few minutes, just getting a nod in reply. "Okay, then let's get you back in bed."

Steve whined a little as she helped him to his feet, and guided him back to bed. She tucked him in, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. "Do you need anything?"

"Need to call Nance. Tell her I'm not coming." He mumbled.

"Do you want me to?" She offered.

Steve shook his head. "I can." He insisted, feeling around for the phone on his nightstand.

"Okay, baby. I'll check on you later." She left the room, taking the trash can with her.

Steve dialled the now-familiar number, hoping it would be Nancy answering, he didn't want to have to make small talk with her mom, or take her brother's attitude. It was Mrs Wheeler that answered, and he forced his way through the basic pleasantries and asking to speak to Nancy. He winced at the volume of the shout at the other end of the phone, before Nancy's voice came through.

"Nance, I can't make it today. I've got a migraine." He said, wanting the call to be done as soon as possible so he could try to get back to sleep.

"But we promised Barb's parents. We can't cancel just because you've got a headache." Nancy protested.

"It's not just a headache. I'm sick with it. It hurts so bad, I can barely get out of bed. I won't be in school, so can we please reschedule?" He was almost begging at the end, wanting to get off the phone and hating that Nancy wasn't believing him.

"Fine." Nancy huffed. "I've got to go."

Before he could respond, a dial tone came through. He hung up the phone and laid down, pulling the blankets right over his head in an attempt to block out the light filtering through his thin curtains.

Once he was well enough to be back at school, he explained his migraines to Nancy, the frequency, the symptoms. How they were different to normal headaches.

Right up until they broke up, if he cancelled because of a migraine, she always complained about him ditching her for just a headache.

-

After getting beaten by Billy, the migraines got worse. Way more frequent, two, three, four times a month. The pain was somehow more intense, the dizziness after was worse and lasted a lot longer. The light sensitivity was almost constant. And they would come on at random, not just when he woke up.

Multiple times he had to run out of class because a migraine started suddenly. Bursting into whatever bathroom was closest for him to throw up. More than once, he ended up in the girls' bathroom, but he couldn't bring himself to care as long as he wasn't puking on the floor.

People had different reactions, some girls freaking out when he ran into the bathroom. Some people assumed he had come into school hungover, others that he was on drugs. Sometimes people would offer help, but he was usually ignored. Tommy made a basic comment about the migraines being worse, but never tried to offer any help or comfort.

The worst one didn't hit at home, or even at school. He was driving home from the trip he'd taken to Indianapolis, and it hit as he came into Hawkins. He had to pull over quickly, opening his door just in time to throw up over the side of the road. He whined softly, knowing this was the worst place he could get a migraine. He was still in the wooded area before hitting the town, there were no houses this far out, so his only hope was if someone drove by and saw his car. As he retched and threw up again he wondered if he could get away with trying to sleep it off in the backseat, there was no way he could drive with the way he was feeling. A slam of a car door startled him, and he swore softly as it made the pain worse.

"Harrington?" He registered the gruff voice as belonging to Hopper, but he didn't respond. He heard the heavy footsteps coming closer. "Jesus Christ, kid. How much did you drink last night?"

"Not hungover," Steve mumbled, breathing slowly to try and ease the nausea. "Migraine."

"Shit. Are your parents home?"

Steve shook his head slowly. "Miami."

"Come on, I'll get you back to mine, so you can rest up." Hopper helped Steve out of the car, getting a few steps before Steve lurched forward onto his knees, throwing up a little into the grass. Hopper kept his hands on Steve's shoulders, steadying him so he wouldn't fall over.

"Sorry," Steve whispered, letting Hopper pull him back to his feet and guide him to Hopper's car.

"But-" Steve couldn't quite form the words, just gesturing vaguely in the direction of his car once he was in Hopper's passenger seat.

"Don't worry about it. We ain't far from the cabin, I'll come get it once you're settled." Hopper started the car, driving slowly.

Steve sat with his head back and eyes closed, hoping that he could hold off the nausea enough so he wouldn't throw up in someone else's car. It wasn't too much longer before the car pulled to a stop.

"Just a couple of minutes walk from here." Hopper got out of the car, and moved around to help Steve out. He kept an arm around Steve as he helped him to the cabin, not wanting him to fall over.

Once they were in the cabin, El perked up. "Is he hurt?" She asked cautiously.

"He's sick. Got a real bad headache, so we're going to have to be quiet, okay?" Hopper explained as he took Steve through the cabin. "Can you find the bucket from under the sink for me?"

Steve made a weak noise of protest as Hopper pushed him down onto a bed.

"You can sleep in here, it's my room. Sorry there's no door, but you can get some rest." Hopper explained, kneeling down to get Steve's shoes off when he didn't try to do it himself.

"No, I can sleep-" Steve started to protest, not wanting to put Hopper out of his bed.

"It's okay, kid. You need the bed more than me right now. I'll sleep on the couch tonight. Just try to hit the bucket if you're going to puke again."

Steve opened his mouth to argue, but decided against it, instead pulling the covers over himself.

"I'll grab you some medicine, then I'll leave you to sleep."

Steve shook his head quickly, regretting it when it made the pain get worse for a moment. "Can't. Makes me sick."

When he woke up, it took him a few minutes to get his bearings and remember where he was. He tried to push himself into a sitting position, but the intense dizziness had him dropping back against the pillows. He groaned and swore softly.

Hopper appeared in the doorway a couple of minutes later, he must have heard Steve's reaction to trying to move. "Hey, kid. How're you feeling now?"

"Dizzy. I can't move." Steve mumbled, wanting to bury his face in a pillow until the room stopped moving.

"Do you need anything?"

"Uh. Water please?"

Hopper nodded, leaving the room for a moment and coming back with a bottle of water. "Is this normal?"

"Happens sometimes. Got worse with the concussion." Steve explained.

"Your parent's know about it?"

"Yeah. 's genetic, Mom gets them too."

"Keep resting up, shout if you need anything." Hopper left the room and Steve shut his eyes again, hoping to sleep off the dizziness the way he had slept off the pain.

-

Steve assumed that getting a migraine at school would be the worst possible time, but once he was working ('a real job, Steven. None of this lifeguarding where you get to laze around a pool all day.'), it was on an entirely different level.

It was so much more migraine-inducing. The constant noise, music from within the store, in the mall, and seeping through from other stores. The horrifyingly repetitive tunes coming out of the kiddie rides dotted around the mall. The screams and squeals and cries and whines coming from the kids that were either overstimulated by the environment or throwing a tantrum when they didn't get their way. The attitude and entitlement from customers young and old over samples or not having enough choice or price or 'just how many calories are in this?'. Then there was the brightness, within Scoops the colors were all so oversaturated, the mall, in general, seemed to have so many lights at full power, showcasing all the options, as well as the neon lights advertising everywhere.

One of the worst things was the smells. So many conflicting smells mixing together with a nauseating result. The overpowering artificial lemon that always hung in the air from the cleaners they had to use. The sickly smell of the ice cream, the hot fudge, the caramel, the fountain drinks, and even the fruit made it worse. And sometimes there was the harsh smell when someone let their kid go too crazy on soda and ice cream and toppings resulting in puke on the floor.

Oh, and there was the snarky coworker he shared most of his shifts with that seemed to have a strong distaste for Steve.

It was over halfway through his shift when the migraine struck. It had been a rough day, a lot of customers coming through, kids constantly running around and screaming, and constant complaints that required the same few explanations. Steve could feel it coming on, but thought it would just be a normal headache, taking painkillers during his break to head it off. But they didn't work. There was only an hour or two left before the guys on the late shift were due to come in and take over when the pain struck. The initial burst of pain was so bad it caused him to double up behind the counter. He tried to breathe shallowly in an attempt to avoid the nausea but it hit hard and had him running for the break room.

"Where are you going, Dingus?" Robin shouted after him, but he couldn't respond.

He got most of the way across the room, but began to doubt whether he would make it to the bathroom. He grabbed one of the buckets from the cleaning supplies, and sunk to his knees as he started heaving into it. He did his best to stay as quiet as possible while he threw up, knowing that sound carried between the front and the breakroom and not wanting to put off other people.

"What the hell, you need to get back-" Robin burst into the break room, but cut off when she saw Steve on the floor throwing up. "Seriously, Dingus? It's barely two in the afternoon and you're already drunk? What were you doing, sneaking vodka in your lunch break?"

"Not drunk." He mumbled.

"Hungover, then?"

"Not hungover. Migr-" He cut himself off to throw up again.

Robin scoffed, but she had to go back out as the bell rang on the counter.

Steve couldn't tell how long. it had been, it could have been an hour, it could have just been five minutes. His vomiting had slowed, but the pain of the migraine persisted. He became aware of Robin speaking to someone, but couldn't quite place the rough voice.

"Harrington around?"

"He's in the breakroom throwing up. And he keeps denying being hungover."

"Mind if I go back there?"

Steve heard Robin agree, before the door swung open and heavy footsteps entered the room. Steve slowly opened his eyes just long enough to see Hopper.

"Shit, kid. What happened?"

"Migraine," Steve whispered, not wanting to make the pain worse.

"You didn't think to tell her that?"

"Couldn't." Steve gestured toward the bucket. "Tried to, but."

"Okay. You're gonna need to go home. D'you want me to drive you, or call your parents?" Hopper offered.

"You. Don't know if Mom's home yet." Steve mumbled.

"Uh-huh. I'll just let her know, then I'll take you home."

Steve let himself lose focus, not really paying attention to his surroundings. Once Hooper came back, he asked to leave using the back exit, not wanting to walk through the busy mall with the chief of police while clutching a bucket in case he threw up again.

Steve didn't really speak during the drive hom, keeping his head back and his eyes closed to try and fight off some of the pain. He opened his eyes as they pulled up outside his house, and noticed his mom's car parked on the drive.

"Why'd you come in?" Steve asked as he moved to get out of the car.

"I was going to ask for a favor for El, but it doesn't matter. It can wait 'til you're better."

"Okay, thanks chief." Steve stumbled up the drive, wincing at the brightness of the sun. He let himself in, knowing he was going to have his mom go overboard on caring for him, like she always did when he had a migraine.

When he returned to work on his next shift, he knew he had to face Robin. His mom dropped him off, as his car was still in the Starcourt parking lot. He beat Robin in, so started working on the opening tasks.

"Hey, Dingus, no hangover today, right?" Robin asked as she walked through to the breakroom to drop off her stuff.

"Wasn't a hangover." Steve protested. "It was a migraine."

"That's those really bad headaches, right?"

"Yeah, I get them sometimes. And if I had the choice, I would prefer a hangover. They hurt less." Steve leaned on the counter, waiting for Robin to double-check the till.

"Is that why you kept running out of class? I swear, if you were a girl everyone would have thought you were pregnant with the amount of times you kept throwing up."

"Getting my face beat in twice in like a year made them worse. I've had them since I was a kid, but after the concussions, it was on a different level. I started getting them at school more, and they always make me sick." Steve explained.

-

The only thought Steve could process before the final punch from the Russians knocked him out was that if he got out of it, this concussion was not going to help his migraines.

At first, he didn't really notice a difference. Between recovering from the concussion, whatever drugs the Russians had injected them with, and the other injuries he received from the beating, alongside the mental strain of everything that had happened, he just didn't have the energy to register any changes. But they did get worse.

They were hitting every week, at least once, sometimes more often. And the thing he found most worrying after he'd noticed it, was them fucking with his vision. Even at the best of times, his vision wasn't as good as it had been before the encounter with the Russians. But with a migraine? It was bad on a whole new level. Sometimes it even got so bad that he would go blind in one eye. Usually only for a few minutes at a time, a half hour at most, but there was that one time that his vision didn't return for the duration of the migraine.

He tried to keep it secret, hide the migraines as much as possible. Robin knew about them, but he didn't want her to know about the severity or the frequency of them. And if he could avoid it, he didn't want the kids to know about them at all. From the amount of times he had to cancel on them, they knew there was something wrong, but he wouldn't give them the details.

Robin picked up on how bad the migraines had gotten when one struck at work, midway through their shared Sunday late shift.

One minute they were laughing and joking together, having playful arguments over what the next movie should be, the next, Steve was hunching in on himself from the sudden onset of pain.

"Steve, are you okay?" Robin asked, worried about his sudden change in demeanour. "Is it a migraine?"

Steve nodded, and swallowed twice, trying to hold back the unavoidable nausea. He bolted out from behind the desk in the direction of the employee bathroom. He made it over the toilet with barely a second to spare before he was throwing up. He was only alone for a minute, then he was aware of Robin behind him, holding back his hair and rubbing his back.

"It's a bad one, huh?" Robin said after Steve had sat back, leaning against the wall with his eyes closed.

"Mmm-hmm. They're all bad." Steve replied, a slight slur to his words. He opened his eyes to look at Robin, the bathroom being dimly lit as neither of them had bothered to turn the light on. As he did, he noticed that his vision wasn't normal, he could see out of his right eye, but his left eye not so much.

"Your eyes look weird? Do they normally look weird when you have a migraine? They're kinda glassy and the left one isn't really focusing." Robin started to ramble but tried to hold back, knowing that too much talking made Steve's migraines worse.

"Can't see. Left eye." Steve mumbled, not wanting to have to try to explain.

"What do you mean you can't see? Should I call an ambulance, that's really concerning. What if it's like a brain tumor or something?" Robin started to panic a little, almost spiralling with concern for her best friend.

"Happens sometimes. Migraine thing. Goes away soon." Steve was only speaking in half sentences, not able to form his thoughts properly.

"How can you be so casual about not being able to see? Have you seen a doctor about it? How long has it been happening? Has it always happened with your migraines?" Robin's voice raised a little, causing Steve to wince at her tone.

"Russians fault. Doctor can't do anything." Steve explained. "You're too loud."

"Sorry," Robin whispered. "Are you done?"

"Think so. Help?"

Robin helped Steve up and guided him to the couch in the staff room, pushing his shoulder until he laid down. She left him with a small trash can on the floor near his head in case he threw up again, as well as a bottle of water in reach.

"Is your mom home?" Robin asked before she left the room.

"No."

"I'll call Dad to pick us up. They'll let you crash in the guest room until you feel better." Robin switched the light off as she went back out onto the shop floor.

Steve knew he would have a ton of questions from Robin once his migraine was gone, but for now, all he wanted was to sleep it off.

-

After Vecna, Steve was just grateful that everyone survived. Eddie had minor injuries from the bat bites, which would have been a whole lot worse if Steve hadn't insisted on him zipping his jacket closed, Max had two broken legs, a broken arm, and minor vision issues, but was expected to make a full recovery, just needing glasses in the long term. Steve had his bat bites, the road rash on his back and arms from being dragged along the ground in the Upside Down, infection in both those wounds from running around in a toxic environment without proper wound care, and slight damage to his windpipe from being strangled twice. He counted himself lucky that he hadn't received yet another concussion, no new head trauma meant that at least his migraines weren't getting worse.

But it didn't mean that they had gotten any easier. It was getting harder and harder for him to hide his migraines, or at least the severity of them, from the others, as the group had drawn in closer than ever, spending time together multiple times a week. Eddie figured it out early on, after Steve cancelled on another hangout.

He drove over to Steve's, letting himself in with the spare key when his knocking wasn't answered for nearly ten minutes despite Steve's car being parked in the drive.

"Steve?" He called, hearing a pained whimper from upstairs in response.

Steve didn't want anyone to see him deep in the throes of a migraine, at least not anyone that hadn't already experienced him with a migraine. But he wasn't in a position to turn anyone away, barely able to move, unable to get his mind and voice to cooperate enough to string more than two words together, his vision blurred in both eyes. He didn't even react when Eddie came into his room.

"Oh, Stevie," Eddie whispered.

Eddie easily fell into caring for Steve, cleaning out the bucket by the bed, replacing empty water bottles with fresh ones. Once he'd done the basic chores, he joined Steve on the bed, alternating between rubbing his back and gently tracing his fingers through his hair until Steve fell asleep.

Once Steve woke up, the pain of the migraine had mostly lifted, leaving behind the dizziness. He was coherent enough to be able to hold more of a conversation.

"Eds?" He mumbled, his throat a little dry.

"Hey, Stevie. How're you feeling now?" Eddie asked, keeping his voice quiet.

"Better. Dizzy, though." Steve burrowed into Eddie's side a little.

"Was it a migraine?"

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"My mom used to get them. I don't think they were as bad as that one looked for you. But I just did what used to help her."

"It felt nice." Steve hummed.

"Good. Do you, like, get them a lot?" Eddie asked hesitantly.

Steve froze for a moment, before dropping into the explanation of them being genetic, and getting worse with each round of concussions. How different people had reacted, how his mother looked after him, often going too far, how Tommy had tried once upon a time, how Nancy never believed him, how Hopper started to help, and Robin coming in and doing her best, alongside her parents when his weren't home.

Eddie vowed that he would be there to support Steve through as many migraines as he could.

-

It wasn't long after Eddie witnessed Steve's migraines for the first time when they got together. There'd been something building between them for some time, but the care Eddie showed during the migraine was the final push for Steve. It had been a sticking point for him in dating for so long, since Nancy, not wanting someone who refused to believe him when he had to cancel due to a migraine.

And it wasn't too long after that when everyone else found out about Steve's migraines. He was due to be hosting a movie night, as he had the biggest house, and his parents were travelling out of Hawkins more than ever, but had to cancel just a few minutes before everyone was going to arrive as a result of a sudden onset of a migraine.

Robin and Eddie had been there early to help him set up, and witnessed the quick onset of it. He didn't make it to any of the downstairs bathrooms, throwing up repeatedly on the floor before he was able to. He shut himself in his mom's room, not wanting to try and get upstairs, leaving Eddie and Robin to deal with everything else. Eddie set to cleaning up the mess on the floor, Robin taking the duty of turning everyone away. She'd tried to call the others as soon as she noticed the migraine hitting Steve, but all of them had already left. She waited by the door, not wanting anyone to barge in and start being loud enough to disturb Steve. She gave the excuse of Steve suddenly getting sick without enough time for them to call, not giving the details as she knew Steve wouldn't want her to. There were a number of complaints, but she was able to get everyone to leave without too much of a fuss.

But he had to explain it at the next gathering. The kids basically confronted him about his constant cancelling, getting backed up by Nancy.

"I'm surprised he hasn't tried blaming a headache. He used to pull that all the time when we were dating." Nancy said.

"Jesus christ, Nancy. How many times did I have to explain it to you that they weren't just headaches? I get migraines." Steve snapped, then suddenly realizing that he'd said it in front of everyone.

"Yeah. That's the same excuse you always used. Cancelling on me because you had a headache, using a fancy word for it doesn't change what they are."

"Migraines are totally different to just a headache. Let me guess, you've never seen him while he was experiencing one?" Eddie asked.

"No, but they can't be that much of a big deal." Nancy scoffed.

"I puke. A lot. And it's the worst pain imaginable. Way more painful than getting chewed on by those demobats. I would take a thousand hangovers over one migraine. I can't eat or drink or take anything for the pain because it just comes back up. Opening my eyes gets nearly impossible if there is any amount of light, and speaking becomes physically painful. I can't do anything when I have one other than try to sleep it off. And once the pain is gone, I get so dizzy I can't move." Steve explained.

"You're over-exaggerating it," Nancy replied, rolling her eyes. "You don't need to be so dramatic."

"He's really not? I've seen a couple and they're bad." Hopper pointed out.

"If anything, he's underselling how bad they get. Just accept that you were wrong, and move on." Robin added, glaring daggers at Nancy.

"Well, how was I supposed to know?" Nancy huffed.

"You could have just listened to me. I explained this repeatedly when we were together, and you never believed me. You could have come over after school to see how I was, or even called to check on me. When we were friends, Tommy would drop by if I ever missed school, especially if my parents weren't home, to make sure I was okay or if I needed anything. But all I got from you was you being bitchy and cold to me over it when I next saw you. As if it was my fault."

Nancy didn't respond, instead turning and leaving the room.

"So, these migraines." Dustin was the first to break the silence. "How can we help?"

In this, I believe that Steve's mom isn't great and is kinda distant most of the time, but she almost goes overboard with affection and care when Steve has a migraine because she blames herself for his suffering, as it was passed down through her family. Also, my characterisation of Nancy comes from how dismissive she was of Steve in s2, over his concerns about what could happen if Barb's parents found out the truth, and with the fight in the alley where she wouldn't take responsibility for what she said the night before. Also, the attitude she got over Steve wanting to cancel on dinner with Barb's parents. And her 'my way or the highway' attitude that comes across multiple times in the show. This was supposed to be a quick and easy fic to get out while I worked on my other fics, but I had a migraine flare-up that lasted nearly a week. And now we have hot weather in the UK which seems to be easing the symptoms of my other chronic illnesses, so writing is taking a little bit of a backseat while I take advantage of feeling the best I've felt in like a year and getting all the shit done that I've not had the energy to do for so long.

#steve harrington #tommy hagan #robin buckley #eddie munson #steddie fic #stranger things fic #sickfic #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie #atimeofyourwrites

[yanderes-galore]

So, I saw that you do Halo and could you do yandere Gravemind concept!? I'm REALLY curious about how he'd be as a yandere.

Not the weirdest thing I've written, but it also probably not be the last. The term "yandere" is used VERY loosely here.

"Yandere!" Gravemind Concept

(Or The Flood in general?)

Pairing: Dubious

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, OOC Flood (?), "Stalking", Parasites, Graphic descriptions, Death, Violence, Kidnapping, Assimilation, Forced "companionship" (?)

The Flood in Halo is a sentient parasite made out of the space dust of ancient creators/gods (Not Kidding).

It lives to infect and assimilate all organic matter.

It seeks knowledge from assimilated prey and the technology they make.

Having a force of nature such as this obsessed with you? Your fate is sealed.

This is obviously going to be OOC, but let me share some thoughts I've been brewing.

Imagine if the Gravemind could keep a dormant Flood spore in you to communicate or track you.

You can't integrate into society anymore... you're a beacon for The Flood.

Having some sort of "alliance" with The Flood is interesting.

It's possible, we see this in Halo 3.

The Flood Graveminds are the center of a Flood infestation, a hivemind of knowledge.

Who knows why this specific Gravemind is interested in you?

The Flood have their own motives... it's a surprise it hasn't assimilated you into its mass yet.

Having a Gravemind interested in you is the equivalent of just having The Flood after you.

Which is terrifying as Combat Forms are fast and can even learn how to utilize technology such as vehicles.

Plus, there's a good chance you're already infected to some degree.

Not to the point of a Combat Form though, you're still you.

You just have spores deep within you, assimilating you just enough to make you connected to the Gravemind.

It always knows where you are, it can always communicate with your mind as there's spores lodged in there too.

You're, unfortunately, a lost cause.

You're both marked for death, yet also extremely protected.

Those you care about as assimilated and absorbed into the hivemind known as The Flood.

Which only ever gives the Gravemind more knowledge to utilize when communicating with you.

It's terrifying to see the mass of essentially corpses talk to you in poetic rhymes about your life.

The Flood/Gravemind has proven it can choose who it works with.

This is shown with Master Chief and The Arbiter when they had to stop the Halo array.

As long as it is appeased, you can live a long while.

However, most of what you know his Flood bio-matter coating various ships and buildings.

Along with a disturbing stench that smells like both sweat and decay.

Flood forms of all sorts roam around you, but they never attack.

The Gravemind has designated you as an ally.

I imagine the Gravemind would subject you to intellectual conversation.

You either try to find a spot not covered in organic matter to sit and listen... or the Gravemind just dangles you in the air by a tendril.

The intentions of The Flood is set to dubious, as you can't tell why it likes you so much.

All other sentient life is to be assimilated, being food and fodder for the growing infestation.

But you? The Gravemind keeps you around the chat.

It reminds you of the grip it has on you, that there's no escape for you... even if they send a Spartan.

Yet right afterwards the Gravemind offers strangely philosophical conversation.

The mass learns from you through conversation.

The Flood craves knowledge, so it listens eagerly.

Honestly, if someone tried to take you out of the Flood Den the Gravemind created, its defense mechanism is to first send as much Flood as it can to retrieve you.

If it cannot reclaim you... it activates the dormant spores in your body... quickly assimilating you into its network.

Essentially, if it can't keep you, no one can.

Except it will eventually get you in the end... forever part of its hivemind structure.

Safe to say the concept of The Flood being attached to you... is probably one of the most terrifying ideas... and the worst for you out of all the characters I've written.

#yandere halo #yandere the flood #yandere gravemind #I use the term yandere lightly here #this is something else entirely

[dancingtotuyo]

12:32 PM (Marcus Moreno Drabble)

Rating: PG

Summary: Marcus likes to think he's moved on with life.

Tags/Warnings: Grief, loss of a spouse (Wife), fluff

Notes: Written off the prompt "I've always wondered why it had to be you" as an exercise with with some friends where we were assigned a prompt and Pedro boy and given 30 minutes to write. Thanks to @saradika-graphics for the divider!

Words: 700

Author Master List | Daily Clicks for Palestine & Other Resources

Marcus goes every Thursday at 12:32 pm. Rain or Shine. Sleet or Snow. Sometimes when he was still the leader of The Heroics, he’d have to miss his standing date, but his watch would ding in reminder instead. 

Now that he’s retired, he never misses it. 

Every Thursday at 12:32 pm, Marcus visits Marissa Moreno’s grave with a bouquet of her favorite flowers and a tuna melt. The exact day and time he spotted her across the greasy spoon he frequented, favorite sandwich inches from his mouth. The exact moment his life changed forever. 

He’d been young and arrogant at the time, twenty-two and ready to take the world by storm as the dashing young superhero he was. Marcus is confident, always has been, but the moment she came over and asked him if he needed a refill, his mouth went dry and he stumbled over his words like a damn fool. It was two months of tuna melts before he finally pulled it together enough to ask her out. 

She had laughed, his favorite sound in the world, the prettiest music to his ears, and winked at him. “Took you long enough.”

Marcus never looked back after that. They got married a year to the day after he first saw her. They’d welcomed Missy into their lives a few years later, and life was perfect. A dream. Marcus knew he was the luckiest man in the world. He treasured his wife and daughter. He still does. 

He still feels the sharp jab of pain in his heart every time he thinks back to that rainy Tuesday night. 

“I’ll be back by 10.” She had smiled at him as she dropped her lipstick into her clutch. Mom’s night out. He’d made a good attempt to keep her home with sultry words and a kiss that required her to reapply her lipstick. Had he known it would be their last, he’d have never let her go. 

She’d kissed Missy’s head, declared her love for both of them, and rushed out of the house. At ten o’clock, she wasn’t home. Marcus hadn’t been concerned at first. Then, the clock hit eleven. At twelve, her phone had gone straight to voicemail. Before he could call Christine, there was a knock at the door. 

He caught the flash of police lights painting the walls of his home before he ever saw the police officers. He’d known. It felt like a dream sequence. He didn’t hear a word the officers said. 

The next year of Marcus’s life had been like that. A living dream that to this day, he can only recall in blurs and flashes. Finally, one day he’d walked into that diner, sat in the same booth, and sobbed. His poor waitress. Apparently, it had been her first day. That had only made him cry more. 

Marcus can’t tell you how long he cried in that diner. Only that it was daylight when he walked in and the black of night greeted him when he emerged. 

He’s done better since then. He’s been better since, now 20 years removed from the night that took his wife from him. 

He keeps her up to date on everything. His life, Missy’s life. He laughs over some trouble the twins got into and cries over the fact that she doesn’t get to be here for it. He tells her how much Missy reminds him of her in everything. Her mannerisms, her glow. She’s always been the bright shining, light leading him out of the darkness, just like her mother. 

He likes to think he’s gotten past it and moved on with life. He doesn’t tell her how he wakes up missing her each morning, the sheets cool on her side of the bed, or that he still sets her coffee mug out on the table each morning. He tells her he’s okay, when deep down he doesn’t know if he ever will be again. 

He sets a hand on top of the tombstone. The ache never dulls. Despite the countless times he’s said goodbye, the words always echo in his head with tears flicking in his eyes. 

Why did it have to be her?

#marcus moreno #we can be heroes #marcus moreno fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro stories #pedrostories #ppcu fanfiction

[thisismysecondrodeo]

Do you think you would be up for writing some super soft period sex with Ted Lasso? 👉🏻👈🏻

AN: I've been meaning to tackle this request for SO LONG, forgive me for taking my sweet time. I also don't even get my period anymore (shout out nexplanon) so please cut me some slack lol

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Period Sex, Graphic description of P-in-V intercourse, Loving & Gentle Unkinky Sex lol, Okay but there is a little biting, and one (1) spank

-

You were having a terrible, no good, very bad day, which is exactly what you texted Henry when he asked how you were doing because you:

A. Promised you'd always tell him the truth and 

B. Knew he'd get a kick out of it. 

The kid had only had his own phone for 3 weeks and you, his mom and dad, and his grandma were the only numbers he had saved, so you'd come to expect a Henry check-in almost daily. Usually, it made you smile, but today you cringed as you hit send.

First, it was the sharp pains that woke you up in the early hours of the morning that told you exactly what was coming. Then it was being out of your preferred period products and having to go to the store before work, and spilling your coffee on your best work shirt, and not carrying Tylenol, and being fucking starving, and and and

It all added up to you meeting at Ted's after work, picking a fight with him over something silly, and storming to your place to spend the night sad and self-pitying. And horny. But now it was day 2 of your period and you had mellowed out immensely but you still hadn't spoken to Ted.

You dragged yourself to Ted's, practicing your apology and announcing yourself sheepishly. It wasn't like the two of you had never fought but you had to take accountability that this was all your fault, even if you had no control over your raging period hormones. Ted buzzed you in and you opened his door expecting tension and found only love. Ted's apartment was clean and warm, the air smelled like chocolate, and he was in the center of it all in his gray sweatpants and white Henley, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows as he dried his hands on a dish towel before opening his arms to you. Your eyes roamed his frame eagerly, your bashfulness quickly replaced with arousal as you leaned into him, the heat of his body and the slight spice of his cologne nearly bringing you to tears with how Ted it was. 

Ted let you cling to him as long as you wanted, which truly could have been forever if you didn't still owe the man an apology. You leaned back to cup his face as his hands slid from rubbing soothing circles on your back to resting on your waist. 

"I am so sorry my period turns me into such an asshole," you said sincerely and Ted blanched.

"THAT'S what the problem was? Oh darling you should have just said, I would have known to take ya with a grain of salt instead of containing to argue, I'm so-"

"No no no, it was all me. Well. All me and my period hormones. I'll hear no apologies from you."

Ted laughed and nodded, leaning in to kiss the tip of your nose, then both cheeks and finally your lips. You wanted to deepen the kiss immediately, slip your tongue against his, and just melt into him but you held yourself back, knowing you couldn't finish what you started. But it didn't stop the growing heat in your core. The oven beeped and you broke away so Ted could attend to it. You hopped up on the kitchen island to stay close to him. 

"Whatcha makin'?"

"Ah," Ted scratched the back of his head as he removed his oven mitts, "apology brownies."

"Ted!" You exclaimed with a teasing grin. "You knew you had nothing to apologize for and you didn't even know I was coming over!"

" Well, a little birdy told me you were having a bad day and I was fully prepared to bring them to you."

"Oh, Henry," you smiled, "you raised a very sweet boy you know?"

Ted slotted himself between your legs and you wrapped yourself around him easily. "I do know. And now that I know what the problem is, brownies seem like they were an appropriate choice. But is there anything else you need? Massage, heating pad, painkillers… ?"

You sighed, your cheek pressed against his chest, "I’d never say no to any of those, especially if the heating pad is you." Ted chuckled and you could feel the low vibration as much as you could hear it, "but honestly the worst part is being unbearably horny and not being able to do much about it."

"Says who?”

You say up to look at him, confused by the question. " What do you mean says who? "

"I mean," Ted responded, his voice suddenly low. He began to press hot, open-mouthed kisses on your neck in between words as he answered, "Who says there's not much you can do about it?"

Even with Ted's distracting caresses and the ever-present tingling at your clit, period sex still wasn't crossing your mind. "I mean getting off with toys can be such a production and then there’s getting a towel, and I hate getting my hands dirty, personally..." Ted was listening, but he had also made his way down to your chest, kissing the swell of your best before nipping lightly and drawing a sharp whimper from you.

"Well then aren't you lucky you've got a partner that doesn't mind getting his hands dirty," Ted grinned, "amongst other things." He shifted his hips to punctuate his point and you could feel his growing bulge against the inside of your thigh. You nearly drooled with how much you wanted him, but he could sense there was still some resistance there.

"I take it you’ve never gotten down and dirty during your time of the month,” Ted questioned gently, rubbing his large hands up your thighs as you smirked and rolled your eyes at this phrasing. “We don’t have to do anything if you’re not comfortable, but if you’d like some help I am a more than willing party.” 

“You don’t think it’s gross?” Your curiosity was betraying your interest and Ted smiled, shaking his head no. 

“Absolutely not. I don’t want to get overly technical, but I’ve never said no to some extra lubrication.” You laughed, loudly pushing him off of you playfully. “Here’s what I’m suggesting. You go do whatever you need to make yourself comfy, no questions asked. Meanwhile, I will go prep the bed, lay down a towel, and we'll pretend that your period absolutely does not exist. And then we’ll shower and eat apology brownies.” 

You grinned, accepting Ted proffered hands and sliding off the counter. “If I wasn't so hideously horny I’d argue some more, but you make a compelling argument, sir.” Ted led you down the hall to the bathroom, dropping you off at the door. 

“I sure thought so,” Ted agreed, planting a firm smack on your butt as you turned around, “go, team.” You gasped in surprise as you clenched against nothing and heard him chuckle as he walked away. 

You were feeling more confident with Ted's reassurance, so you entered the bedroom in just your black boyshorts and you thought Ted’s eyes might roll out of his head. You pretended like you didn’t notice, instead directing your attention to the towels he had hidden under a red blanket. Looking over at him you thought about teasing him for overdoing it but you knew it was all to make you as worry-free as possible; besides his pupils were blown with lust and you didn’t want to delay his affection any longer by being a tease. You gestured him to you, sliding your hands under his henley and pulling it over his head before wrapping your arms around his neck. He swayed with you gently before pressing his lips to yours and letting his hands roam. He let out a little oof of surprise when you quickly turned him and pushed him onto the bed. 

“Someone’s feeling more excited, huh,” Ted grinned and you nodded, clambering over him and pressing kisses to his exposed chest. You made your way up his neck to speak directly into his ear. 

“You make me feel so excited. And special. And loved. And understood.” You punctuated your points with lips and nips and kisses until he was writhing under you. Now it was his turn to flip you, working your boyshorts down your hips. He leaned down and pressed a kiss below your belly button, but you stopped him before he could go any further. “No teasing, Teddy, I need you.” 

Ted flitted his eyes up at you, dark and hungry. “No teasing,” he agreed, sitting back to kick his sweatpants off and stroke his length a few times, and you moaned just watching him. He used the tip of himself to tease your clit and if he had done it for a few more seconds you were sure you would come. But Ted wasn’t going to make you ask twice, and he could tell from your face that very little preparation was needed. He aligned himself with your entrance and took his time sliding into place. The feeling was intense and so fulfilling that it almost brought tears to your eyes that you hadn’t been doing this every month. This was exactly the feeling you were seeking when you were out-of-your-mind period-horny. Ted’s hips were stilled, pressed tightly into yours as he paused to check in. 

“You feel so good, baby, you okay? We can stop if you—”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” you cut him off through gritted teeth and he laughed, “Please fuck me, baby. Please.”

“Okay, okay I got you,” Ted soothed, sliding almost all the way out before driving in with purpose. Nothing about your period was on your mind, not the mess, not the cramps, nothing but your impending orgasm and the delicious stretch of Ted inside you, the heat of him above you, the praise he spilled into the crook of your neck. Ted’s pace was steady, but so tender, his hips angled so he brushed against your clit with every stroke and you knew you were going to come embarrassingly quick. “Ted, fuck, baby, I’m gonna—” 

Ted heard you loud and clear and adjusted his position so one hand was free to bring his thumb against your incredibly sensitive clit. You wrapped your arms around Ted’s middle bringing him in close and sinking your teeth into his shoulder to try to contain the force of your orgasm and Ted cursed as he followed you over the edge with surprise. He hadn’t even been that close, but he didn’t stand a chance against the sharp pain of your bite combined with the hard clench and rhythm of your orgasm. 

“Shit,” Ted exhaled as he moved to keep from crushing you, surreptitiously cleaning himself off on the blanket underneath while your eyes were still shut and your chest heaving. “I thought I could get you to at least two, but you feel too damn good, darlin’.” 

You laughed, rolling into him and nuzzling against his side, “Well if you join me in the bath I bet we can get one more.” 

“Deal,” Ted laughed, peppering you with kisses before leaving you to run the bath. 

#ted lasso #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso x reader #x reader #reader insert #reader

[nicoline1998enilocin]

My idea is:

Tony and the reader were high school sweethearts, and they loved each other very much, but she went to college in another country, and they had to separate 😔 but they never stopped loving each other... a few years later, she returns to live in the United States and they bump into each other in a coffee shop or something, they recognize each other, have a coffee and a long talk together, the flame of love burns in their eyes and he asks her out on a date... they go out to dinner, spend the night together 😏 and promise never to separate again. A few more years showing them married and with children 🩷

I love your fluff and smut very much

Falling in love again

PAIRING | Tony Stark x Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 2.2K

SUMMARY | You've been living abroad for almost a decade, and when you find yourself back in New York, you also find yourself in touch with the man you thought you had said goodbye to forever all those years ago. When the flame reignites, the two of you never let go again and finally live the life you have always dreamt of.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Smut [ Unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), creampie ]

A/N | Thank you so much sweet Nonnie, this request melted my heart, and I can't wait to hear what you think of it! I hope you enjoyed reading it, and if you ever have another request, don't hesitate to let me know 🖤

Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💚

Divider is made by @firefly-graphics | 18+ banner is made by yours truly

Main Masterlist | Tony Stark Masterlist

The sight of the city you grew up in is odd but, at the same time, so familiar. You're walking through the streets of New York again after being away for almost a decade to go to college in the UK. You are entirely in your element as tiny snowflakes start falling, and the city slowly starts to get coated in a white layer.

The first place you go to after not being here for so long is the place you love the most and have the most memories: the giant Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center. What you did not expect, however, is to run into someone who once upon a time meant more to you than anything in this universe.

You're standing in line at a hot chocolate cart so you can warm up a little bit since the snow is starting to pick up. You adjust your jacket and scarf slightly when you suddenly hear your name being called from a distance.

You don't need to look over to see who it is because you recognize that voice from anywhere, and you're delighted you get to hear it once more. ''Tony? Is it you?'' you ask, and a wide grin appears on your face as he approaches you.

''What are you doing back in New York? I thought we'd lost you forever to the charming people of the UK,'' Tony joked, and you couldn't help but feel like nothing had changed in all those years you have been gone.

''I just missed New York; it never quite felt like home, so I have officially moved back,'' you tell him, and then it's your turn to get your hot chocolate.

''Can I get two peppermint hot chocolates, please?'' you ask, and Tony smiles wide. Your heart skips a beat at the sight, and you realize you've never stopped loving the man next to you.

''Let me get them,'' Tony says and you agree. You give him a soft kiss on his cheek as a thank you, and you see the blush spreading across his face at the feeling, which confirms your suspicions.

''Come on, let's go somewhere we won't get snowed in,'' he offers, and you happily walk with him while bringing up old memories. Before you know it, you've ended up at your apartment building since you live near Rockefeller Centre.

''Did you want to come in to catch up? This is where I live,'' you say, and he does. Opening the door and leading him into your apartment feels like coming home for Tony.

''I still can't believe how it feels like coming home, even though I've never been here, and I haven't seen you in years,'' he chuckles, and you smile widely at his compliment.

''Well, having you here with me makes it a whole lot better, and the fact that it's Christmas finishes it all off for me,'' you tell him, and the Christmas joy is pretty much leaking out of your pores.

''Do you still drink the same tea as in high school?'' you ask, and Tony nods while giving you a smile that warms your insides through and through.

When the tea is made, you sit down next to Tony on the couch, and without thinking about it, he puts his hand on your thigh, just like all those years ago. Like nothing has ever changed.

The two of you talk for hours and hours on end, talking about everything you've missed out on over the years until it is finally time for Tony to go home.

''It was great to catch up with you, and I would love to see you again,'' he starts as he's at the door, and you nod.

''I'd love that too, Tony,'' you say as you stand on your tiptoes and kiss his cheek, and a thank you for everything, for not making your Christmas so lonely.

''How about dinner on New Year's Eve? Maybe we can even ring in the New Year together,'' he offers, and you see a glint of mischief in his eyes.

''Wouldn't have it any other way,'' you say, and with one last hug, he returns to his own house, and you're left with a rapidly beating heart, a lip that's almost raw from biting it to keep in your squeals, and an ache between your legs that only he can resolve.

It's New Year's Eve, and you're getting ready for dinner with Tony. He texted you to be prepared at 8 P.M., so that's exactly what you're going to do, and your outfit is already laid out, ready for you to wear.

You've taken a shower and slipped into a black lingerie set you chose to make Tony go crazy for. The two of you may have been in love for all those years, but your first time together will be exceptional in every single way.

Your makeup consists of a red smokey eye to compliment your dress and a nude lip to ensure you don't overpower the look. Your hair is put up in braids with a half-bun, letting the rest fall over your shoulders.

All that is left is slipping into your red velvet dress and putting on your black heels, which is perfect timing because Tony will soon take you to the restaurant.

He has always been punctual, and today is no different; at precisely 8 P.M., he knocks on your door. You open it with a big smile to see Tony standing in front of you in a black three-piece suit tailored to perfection.

Your breath hitches in your throat as you look him up and down, his hair styled in his usual messy hairstyle, but even with the suit, it looks like it belongs and doesn't look out of place.

''Hi, Gorgeous,'' Tony says as he takes you in, your long legs underneath a red dress, your makeup complimenting the dress, and your accessories matching each other perfectly.

''Hi,'' you say shyly at the nickname, and he holds his hand for you to join him. You take it, and you can't help but think about how warm his hand is, sending a shiver down your spine at the touch.

The drive to the restaurant is short despite all the traffic, and you arrive on time for your reservation. The hostess shows you to a table on the second floor, with perfect sight of the fireworks later that night.

You two picked up your conversation right where you left off, and over dinner, there was a lot of laughter, longing looks back and forth and touches here and there. When there were a few minutes left until midnight, he guided you to a balcony where you had an even better view of the fireworks.

He came to stand next to you while handing you a glass of champagne, and his hand found its place on your waist, sending a shiver down your spine.

''I can't believe we found each other again on Christmas day; I can't help but think it was a sign from the universe,'' you tell Tony as you turn to him.

''Hm-hmm, the timing couldn't have been better. Speaking of which, it is almost time to ring in the new year,'' he says, and your heartbeat quickens, and you feel your cheeks getting warmer with anticipation.

You hear people counting in the distance, but it is such a faint noise that it could never have been there. Tony's hand cups your cheek, and he brings your face to his, a dull roaring in your ears as you close your eyes, and he kisses you when the clock strikes midnight.

His soft pink lips capture yours in the sweetest, most sensual kiss the two of you have ever shared, and it seems to go on forever. When you pull away, you have a slight grin on your lips, unable to keep it from happening.

This kiss awakened a fire within you that never really went away, but while it had been a teeny flame for years, it was now a full-on fire that made your blood feel like lava.

''Please promise never to let me go again,'' you whisper as you look deep into Tony's eyes. he kisses you in response, which makes your knees buckle, and he has to hold you up.

''Everything okay there?'' he asks, and you try to laugh it off, but you know it's useless. Tony is well aware of what's happening and can't wait any longer.

''I need you, Tony,'' is all you say before he takes you to his house, and when you're there, the two of you don't waste time going to the bedroom. He has a perfect oversized couch, as you're getting very impatient.

He strips you out of your clothes in record time, and his own follows right after as he lays you down on the couch.

''Are you sure about this? Because after this, I'm never letting you go,'' Tony asks, the irises of his eyes almost completely taken over by his pupils out of pure lust.

''I'm sure, Tony. Please make me yours,'' you whine, and he does, not wasting any time. He lines his hard cock with your entrance before slowly pushing in, your back arching at the stretch as he slides home.

Moans leave both your lips, but as soon as his lips brush against yours, you attach them, drinking in each other's sounds when he is buried completely.

''Jesus, you feel so good wrapped around my cock,'' Tony groans out while your fingernails scratch his back to get some grip on what's happening. You feel your mind slowly slipping from you, Tony being the only thing you can think about.

''P-please,'' you whisper, and with that, Tony sets a slow pace, trying to make you feel as good as possible for as long as possible. He keeps hitting your sweet spot, and within no time, you feel your orgasm washing over you as your fingers have found your clit.

''F-fuck, Tony, make me cum,'' you pant; he does, as he picks up his pace, this time chasing his high.

''Gonna pump you so full you're gonna be leaking with my cum,'' he says, and after a few more pumps, he makes true to his promise. Long ropes of cum shoot into you, and not long after, you cum again, too, making his seed drip out of you.

''You look so good with my cum leaking out of you,'' Tony says before he uses his fingers to shove it back in, making sure it all stays in.

After that, Tony takes you to the bedroom, where you repeatedly make each other fall apart until the morning sun rises.

You get a few hours of sleep, and when you wake up, you're expected to find Tony, but instead, you're met with an empty side of the bed and the smell of breakfast in the kitchen.

As you get up, you grab one of Tony's shirts and a pair of his boxer briefs before walking to the kitchen and greeting the man you love more than anything in this universe.

''Good morning, Gorgeous,'' he says as you walk into the kitchen with your messy hair. You're glad you removed your makeup before falling asleep; otherwise, you would have been a mess.

When you're next to him, you wrap your arms around his waist, resting your head against his arm as he fries some eggs for breakfast.

''Thank you for everything,'' you say, and your heart is filled with joy now that you have the love of your life back.

''I should thank you for walking back into my life like you did,'' he says as he plants a soft kiss on your lips, leaving you smiling like a lovesick idiot.

''I love you,'' you whisper, closing your eyes as you rest your head again.

''I love you too,'' Tony responds before putting the egg on a plate.

''So, you hungry?'' he jokes, and you can't help but smile at his idiotic jokes, but you would not trade them for anything.

You're in the kitchen preparing some vegetables for the barbecue you and Tony are hosting for the Avengers, their other halves, and their children now that the two of you have bought a bigger house to accommodate the little ones growing inside you.

Tony is outside with the Avengers, and you look out the window; seeing how thrilled he is now makes you happy, too. You've finally gotten the life you have always dreamt of living together.

A few years ago, he proposed, and not even six months later, you were married, your first child on its way not long after. Now you're pregnant with kids 3 and 4, expecting twins.

''What are you dreaming about, Gorgeous?'' Tony asks as he walks into the kitchen, unable to be away from you for too long.

''You,'' is all you say before he pulls you in for a kiss. Your daughter Morgan and your son Jonas are playing in the garden with Clint's children, and all the Avengers are enjoying themselves.

''Life couldn't be any better if we've tried,'' he says, his hands finding their favorite place, your stomach.

''Life is perfect now,'' you say as you lean against him while looking outside. If you had known this would happen, you would have returned years ago instead of staying away for so long.

#tony stark #tony stark fanfiction #tony stark fanfic #tony stark one shot #tony stark request #tony stark imagine #tony stark x female reader #tony stark x reader #tony stark x y/n #tony stark angst #tony stark fluff #tony stark smut

[bakerstreethound]

🎻Send me a song 🎻 I’ll analyze it and tell you what fictional it reminds me of and the scenario that comes to my mind.

Taylor Swift's Wildest Dreams. It's actually a song that goes with one of my WIPs, and an OFC who is very dear to me.😁

First off, I apologize in advance for the delay as this is six months behind and there are still a few of these celebration ones I've not yet done or had the inspiration to complete. Regardless, I thank you for the request and your constant support @sobeautifullyobsessed and I hope you enjoy!

Bittersweet Wild Dreams

Stephen Strange was never yours until one night and you ensure to make it's one you both won't forget. There are hints and allusions to smut involved, please be aware, along with some angst. Graphic by @firefly-graphics

He said, "Let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds" I thought Heaven can't help me now, nothing lasts forever. But this is gonna take me down. He's so tall and handsome as hell, he's so bad, but he does it so well. I can see the end as it begins. My one condition is

Alright so from the start you know you’re doomed the moment you lay eyes on Stephen, your mentor for many years but now you see him in a different light, you want to mean more to him, however, most days he passes by you without a glance, self-importance and the ego of his work taking precedence.

You know he wouldn’t pass you a second glance always going after Christine not giving you a chance. Well, that was before he did start watching you from afar, knowing Christine had enough of him and his ego. You, however, didn’t mind for the moment, for you have a plan, and will make a moment to bask in for eternity. 

Say you'll remember me, standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe. Red lips and rosy cheeks, say you'll see me again, even if it's just in your wildest dreams, ah-ah, ha, wildest dreams, ah-ah, ha

You never agreed with the concept of one-night stands, but given the opportunity, the invitation that mysteriously showed up in your mail the night before, you couldn’t help it. Even if you wanted this to be more between you and Stephen, you know well that you must keep your heart from him and embrace one night. It would be your first, last, and only time you could be with him in this reality and lifetime.

You realized you had made your peace with this months ago, letting the ache fester into nothing more but yearning. You would make this one night one to remember and dazzle your coworkers and Stephen alike with your custom dress, sparing no expense for your party. 

I said, "No one has to know what we do." His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room, and his voice is a familiar sound, nothing lasts forever. But this is getting good now. He's so tall and handsome as hell, he's so bad, but he does it so well. And when we've had our very last kiss, my last request is

Therein after your outlandish entrance to the party, watching Stephen's eyes in the corner darkening, you find yourself pressed flush against his chest, his hands wandering over your body, gently caressing you. You don’t care about the thumping bass downstairs or that your party is in full swing.

No one was missing the host at the moment, Christine assured you profusely before you snuck off feining a headache. Thankfully your headache arrived just in time, his voice rumbling low in your ear, setting your body aflame. 

Say you'll remember me, standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe. Red lips and rosy cheeks, say you'll see me again, even if it's just in your wildest dreams, ah-ah, ha (ha-ah, ha) Wildest dreams, ah-ah, ha

“This dress is lovely on you,” he whispered and his hand brushing along your body sets him alight along with you and then he kissed you softly, the heat rising from your body encouraging him more.

He smirked, ensuring to check the door once more before he came back to you, pulling you into his embrace, kisses peppering along your neck and before long bite marks follow and you groan, wanting to sear this moment into your memory. You don’t have to imagine anymore and it’s all you wanted and more. 

You'll see me in hindsight, tangled up with you all night, burning it down. Someday when you leave me, I bet these memories follow you around. You'll see me in hindsight, tangled up with you all night burning it down. Someday when you leave me I bet these memories follow you around.

The sound of the party continued, but all Stephen focused on was you and the delicious noises he pulled from your lips. Something akin to guilt filled him as he watched you writhe under him, but he kissed you still, regret filling his being, but he too resigned himself to his fate, for all he will have of you is the small fraction of a moment where you were both one, the memory of you in that dress persistent in his dreams, melancholy and sweetness pulling him away from reality.

A reality where you were never his. 

******

#dr strange x reader #doctor stephen strange #stephen strange x reader #doctor strange x reader #dr strange fanfiction #stephen strange x you #stephen strange #doctor strange #mcu fanfiction #ace's 5yr anniversary #my writing #writing request #my alleyway

[blacksapphhicmaddonna]

CHAPTER ONE - WHAT I HAVE TO DO.

a/n: hey y'all! so, I tried to post this in response to the anon who asked for a snippet but I saved it as a draft and Tumblr ate it😭 SO THIS IS DEDICATED TO YOU, ANON, WHOEVER YOU ARE!! sorry babes!💔💖💖💖💖

its been a minute since I've written anything fully, this was fun!!! as always, please ignore any grammar/syntax/spelling. I proof read it but you feel me. I'm super excited to be writing something so long and multi chaptered and definitely out of my comfort zone! am I an action girly now? LMFAO but anyway, I'm super open to any feedback and 👀 as always, if you wanna see sum, say sum.

anyway, I love my science gays and I will stan shuriri forever. this is pretty much all angst at this point❤️‍🩹, but I truly hope you enjoy LMFAOOO. lmk how you feel.💗 (and yes, I love a good flashback real bad and ima do it every time if I can. not too much on me LMFAO)

✮ taglist: @mybonafidefeelings@zeezeecave@gr00vyminibus@lppriceisright@darkangelchronicles@princessmel-1995@xenaizogie@nanii2x, and tagging a few folks that enjoyed the sneak peak and a few shuriri/shuri/riri folks who might! @karimwillia @inmyheadimobsessed@mal-urameshi@somethingcleaverandwhitty@imjusthere2readbruv@imagineandwrite there's more but my computer glitching so we gonna get this show on the road! lmk if you'd like to join the taglist or check the link in my tagged post! love y'all, muah

✮ word count: 11,193

✮ panther divider: @firefly-graphics

✮ some of the xhosa translations are from @iinkonde! here's where you can find some of their amazing resources: 1 2 3

Shuri paced the room that seemed to be growing smaller by the millisecond around her, searching for something - anything - inside of the brain most people considered the smartest in the universe to offer the scientist in front of her. She found nothing but the desperation she had been pushing down since the moment they met.

A desperation that mirrored the effects of the herb she had reproduced, also made from the desperation to save something that she felt was slipping through her fingers at the time. Just like the herb had found its way through her body when she first took it, this feeling spread from her throat as she choked when their eyes met as she pushed herself into the dorm room she was once again standing in. Down to her chest, pulling heart strings she didn’t know she had. Plucking them in a rhythm that felt intrinsic, ancestral, almost painful in the way that they made everything feel superimposed. She resisted, but she felt her toes and she felt her finger tips and she felt the curls framing her face dance above her eyes ever so gently. It spread through every atom that comprised the panther and she could barely breathe. She felt everything and she felt nothing, like she was sinking in an ocean of clouds. She could barely look at the woman who was staring back at her with a look of confusion, and an equal desperation that she couldn't explain.

Shuri still had nothing to offer in terms of speech. She paced at a speed that had only just registered as super fucking fast, clearly adding to the concern building in Riri's eyes.

"Shuri-" Riri started, but couldn't even try to finish as her voice had triggered the awaiting and building eruption in Shuri that it always did. Riri, if she did anything to Shuri, she made her feel things she wasn't used to feeling.

"Anything you want, just name it. It's yours. I'll make it happen. I'll build it myself. Just please don't do this. Please." Shuri froze in her place, finding herself begging for something she couldn't explain. She knew she was almost yelling at the other woman, which she would never do but she couldn't find the part of her that could compose herself. She was thankful for the kimoyo beads she had scattered in the room when she entered, enabling a silencing mode and cutting through anything that the government had tapped in Riri's room.

Riri froze too, only moving to fumble with her fingers nervously. She didn't have anything to offer the panther, the queen standing in front of her. She didn't have anything to comfort her friend. The woman she loved more than she could explain. More than almost anything. 

"I don't... I don't want anything from you, Shuri... We both knew this day was coming. You had to have thought about it. I thought you were.. I don’t know... It almost felt like-"

"Please, Ri. Please. Just find something and I'll do it. I'll make it myself if I have to. Please just find something else."

"I don't want... I don't understand, Shuri. We only talked about this like twice, I didn't even think you cared that much or even had time to care about it... or me, really. Just... lets just sit down for a second." Riri tried to redirect, trying to give herself time to figure out what was going on. She felt her mind trying to run back through memories and conversations the two had shared in the past year and some change, but it was few and far between that they ever really had time to talk about their lives in depth lately. At first, they talked a lot after they had finally reconnected. They had even spent a few nights together. But lately, Shuri had been working a lot and it seemed like their connection was running dry. Riri had shared her plans a few months ago and hadn't really heard much back from the woman standing in front of her looking like she was fighting a battle she wasn't sure she'd win. Riri had committed herself to this, to showing up and doing what she felt she needed to do to make up for all the ruin she had caused - or at least what she thinks she caused. And now Shuri was trying to offer her a chance out of it. She didn't know what to do or what to think. That's something she felt often with the panther, she figured out. She had zoned out for only a split second before Shuri was grabbing her wrists and looking in her eyes.

"Riri, I'm begging you." Shuri stared into the Iron Heart's eyes, searching for something she knew she was missing. Something she needed the way she needed air, she felt. Riri searched back, trying to decipher something Shuri wasn't ready to let her see.

"Shuri, you know I feel responsible... But, I just.. I don't understand what's going on. What's wrong? Please just talk to me. It's okay." Riri tried to pull them closer, tried to grab the Panther's hand but her grip was too tight around her wrists. Shuri relaxed it, she hadn't intentionally been holding on so tight but she wasn't ready to let go. She's never been ready to let go of who she loves. She saw that same resolute look in Riri's eyes that was always there when she was sure about something. It broke something in Shuri that she knew she couldn't mend on her own. One final try, she told herself.

"I will give you anything under the sun. Please just don't go to them. Don’t go to him. I- I know you're trying to help and change things for the better, and you will. But not like this. Not until it's safe. He will find you, Riri. He will do anything to get to you and to get back at me. You know this and you still choose to go? You don’t have to make this easy for him. We can figure this out a different way. Please. I will give you access to all the technology Wakanda has to offer, just please find something else to focus on, to take place of this. Please."

Riri tried to pull her closer again but the panther moved back, sending a shiver of rejection up Riri's spine.

"I don't want anything from you, Shuri... I just want you. I- I mean I just want you to-"

Shuri felt her body getting hot and somehow freezing at the same time. Riri just wanted her? But she also wanted to go on this suicide mission, which is what it was regardless of what Riri thought of it. She fought back the defensiveness she felt crawling up her throat like it always did when she was hurt. She didn't want to lash out on Riri, she only wanted to protect her. She only wanted her to be safe, alive. She only wanted her. But it was to no avail. She felt the ferocious beast pull itself through her. She scorned herself as her words burned their way through her skin, landing on Riri's.

"You just want whatever you want. You just want to fight whatever moral war you have going on because you're the one who survived! You would give up your life for what? For who? Not for my mother! Not for me!"

Riri hadn't noticed the tears stinging down her cheeks until she saw the ones pouring out of Shuri's. It was something she had never seen before. She had seen Shuri lash out, though. She knew this was just the first wall of defense the panther had when she felt hurt, afraid, abandoned. She couldn't take this personally, though she had to fight back the sting of the words as they came at her. She reached out to try and touch the woman in front of her.

"Shuri, please. Let's just ta-"

"What?! Sit and talk? For what? For you to tell me again why you have to do this, why you have to go and die? Do you care so little for me? For yourself?"

"You know that's not true!"

"Why wouldn't it be true?! Ungayenza njani le nto kum!?"

"Please just listen to me! I don't know what's going on but we can talk about it! I'm right here, I'm right here!"

"But you won't be after this! You don't have to do this! Just let me try, let me show you that there's other things to give you purpose, there’s other ways we can handle this! PLEASE!" Shuri felt herself starting to cave in, her chest becoming a cavern filled with the screams of the orphaned girl inside of her. The girl who needed her family. The girl who couldn't save her brother. The girl who was held back from her mother as she drowned. The woman who loves women, specifically the woman in front of her who was planning to give herself up. She couldn't keep it together. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think.

"That's not for you to decide, Shuri!" Riri shot back, starting to feel the same layer of armor pull itself over her. She didn't like being yelled at. It triggered something in her that she herself had pushed back as far as it would go. She just needed to get Shuri to listen to her.

"I don't care! You can't do this Riri!"

"Please stop yelling at me!" Riri gave in, covering her ears and turning her back to the panther, who felt herself go still. She hadn't meant to unleash this part of herself. She felt embarrassment mixing with her desperation, afraid she had only made things worse. Who was she to be trying to control the actions of a woman she only met a little over a year ago? Who she was just friends with, and barely that if you based it off what normal friendships looked like. They rarely even spoke for longer than a few minutes every couple days and that wasn’t even true anymore. Shuri scorned herself for the time she hadn’t spent with her, for the time she had been forced to spend trying to fix, defend or save her country. She resented her royal blood now more than ever, wishing she could be nothing more than a girl again. Maybe a student. Maybe just different. Shuri felt herself starting to crack, she felt like she would disintegrate if she stood there any longer. She had done enough damage. She and Wakanda and the Talokan had put Riri through enough and she knew that. She could see why Riri would think this guilt was hers to bare but Shuri knew better, knew more secrets. She knew that her father and his father and so on hadn’t handled things right, and no matter the good T’Challa had tried to do - maybe he didn’t do it right either. So now it laid in her hands, forced once again to stand in the way of something she wasn’t ready for. She felt bad for herself, but she felt worse for Riri. She wishes she had never sent her home with the beads, that they had never touched hands, that they had never even met. Maybe if no one ever knew about Vibranium, no one would be trying to take it. Or maybe if the world had always known, if her ancestors had done things differently, this wouldn’t be Riri’s life. She was part of the lost tribe, as N’Jadaka would call it. Maybe he was right. She didn’t know what to think, but she also knew who she was, herself. She was the most powerful person on the surface world and she was the Queen of the most powerful nation in the world. And she was in love, helplessly, with Riri Williams. She would not let her go again.

"I am sorry for coming here and making you upset." Shuri said blankly, masking any emotions she had just shattered into the room as best as she could to regain any self control she had left.

Riri turned around, tears still swelling in her eyes. She hiccuped and it made Shuri's heart pound.

"I-it's okay. I just don't like b-being yelled at. Can we just sit and talk?"

Shuri nodded, knowing Riri needed a minute. Riri turned to grab a blanket off her bed to wrap herself in as she took a seat on the floor in front of her bed. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before motioning to Shuri to sit next to her. Shuri stared at her for a moment too long, before kneeling down next to her. They sat in silence that wasn't comfortable for the first time in a long time. Neither missed this feeling, the feeling of such uncertainty between them. Sure, it was always there, biting at the backs of their minds and hearts. But they had both worked hard to be comfortable with just having what they had. But now more than ever, neither was sure what was really going on. Shuri mirrored Riri, taking a few deep breaths. Riri felt herself relax, misreading the quiet sigh Shuri let out.

"Are we okay? I don't want us to fight. I just... need you to help me understand why you're so upset. It didn't seem like you even really cared about this. I know you've been busy with what you have going on so I just figured this... I.. wasn't really on your radar anymore."

Shuri stayed silent, fighting that feeling nudging her.

"Please say something." Riri pleaded quietly after a few too many more moments of silence. She couldn't stand it. Neither could Shuri. She needed to escape. Get out of the room, out of America. She needed to run and scream and break something. She needed to kill Namor. That was her only option, once again. She knew it would come. She knew the fate of her country would be in the air again, and part of her knew she shouldn’t do it. Equal parts yes and no. Blood on either hand, regardless of what choice she made. But she also knew that Riri's life was once again in question and there was only one answer Shuri would accept. She would deal with the aftermath the same way she had been. She would accept whatever came. She knew she wasn't thinking clearly, that maybe she would be exiled or worse, but she also knew she couldn't live with herself if Riri wasn't alive tomorrow, and that was enough for her right now. If Riri wouldn't listen, then there was only one choice.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Riri. It won't ever happen again."

Riri was startled at the sincerity in the Panther's voice. She was confused why that was what Shuri felt she had to focus on in the midst of whatever the hell was going on.

"It's okay, I promise. I'm not mad at you for yelling at me. I'm just confused..."

"It's not okay. This, whatever you're planning, whatever he's planning... None of this is okay." Shuri said, pinching between her eyes as she tried to swallow the same beast from just a few minutes ago.

"Shuri... it's not like before. It's not about him. It's not even just about what happened in Wakanda. You know I'm Iron Heart. You knew I was going to start doing these things at some point. Missions that weren’t just flying around Chicago and Boston stopping robberies. And you know that something has to be done. And I can’t let this go on again when we all know it’s my fault.” Riri sighed. “We all know it is. So, please just try to hear me..."

"I have always heard you, Riri."

Riri digested that sentence with a gulp. She replied after a moment.

"Then let me hear you, for once. Tell me why you're here. Tell me why you're reacting like this. Tell me who you are and what you're feeling. Let me in, Shuri." She said, reaching out to grab Shuri's hand again. The Panther's hand was hot, almost burning. She didn't pull away this time.

"I'm here because I lo-.. Because I won't let this happen." Shuri caught herself before she said something she couldn't explain. Riri looked into Shuri's eyes with a pleading, less sure look. Shuri couldn't hold it this time. She couldn't freeze. She couldn't tell Riri. She reminded herself what happens every time she loves someone. She reminded herself of what she was capable of and what needed to be done. Regardless if Riri ever shared her feelings or not, she would swear her life to protecting the woman until the day she met the ancestors and maybe after if she could. She would do whatever it took, every time, no matter what, she resigned to herself. She squeezed Riri's hand.

"What're you gonna do? Lock me in my room, Shuri? I don't get what's going on!" Riri pleaded.

"I would never. You are not a prisoner or someone I want to control. You are free to do as you please, just as I am. Please understand that much."

"What does that mean... Wait, please don't go!" Riri tugged back at Shuri's hand again as the Panther got up to leave. Shuri looked down at their hands touching, taking in every second that their skin touched. She remembered what it felt like to reconnect after a long time apart. She wishes she could live in it like she had before. She brought their foreheads together and closed her eyes.

"I will protect you with every part of me. The cost will never be too much."

"Shuri, please don't do what I think you're about to do..." Riri pulled Shuri's hands into hers and brought them to the sides of their faces. They were so close they could feel each other's breath on their lips. Riri prayed in her head that Shuri would listen to her, knowing the strength and power the woman in front of her wielded. Shuri choked out a pained laugh before kissing Riri's forehead and pulling away, taking in the scent of Ghanian Shea Butter and the sweet scent Riri always had.

"Andizukuphulukana nawe. Impilo yami ngeke ibe lutho ngaphandle kwakho, Riri Williams."

Before Riri could open her eyes, the Black Panther was gone, the sound of a closing door shaking Riri to her core. She felt like she was in shock, having nothing to do but curl into a ball and pull the blanket around her body, covering her face as she let the rest of the tears fall silently. She laid there for what felt like an eternity until she heard a familiar voice call out to her.

"Miss Williams?" Riri jumped up, running around her room tracking down the voice. She picked up a purple and black kimoyo bead and held it up, suddenly seeing several others connect like magnets from across the other corners of the room.

"Griot?!" Riri both yelled and whispered.

"Hello, Miss Williams. Are you feeling alright?" Griot asked as the AI began taking a scan of her body to check her vitals.

"I've been better... what's going on? Why are you here? Not that it's not nice to... well you get what I mean!"

"It seems you have suffered a panic attack of sorts. Please get some water and take a seat before I proceed."

Riri rolled her eyes with a tired huff, giving in because she knew Griot wouldn't budge until she obliged. She grabbed a half empty bottle of water from her desk and sat back down near her bed, pulling the blanket up around her. She suddenly felt the absence of Shuri in her space and fought back the tears threatening to make way through her as she pulled the bracelet on, watching it activate. She had felt this way before, but it was different now.

"Feeling better, Miss Williams?"

"Just Riri is fine, and I guess. Can you explain what's going on now, please Griot?"

"Yes, Miss Riri." Griot replied as a hologram of Stark Tech floated in front of the scientist. She felt even more confused.

"Why are you showing me Stark Tech?"

"The panther has created and assigned your own AI for you, it's name is VIV. It is nearly identical to the JARVIS, or Vision, that Tony Stark had. It has been being developed for over a year, and seems to have just finished."

"What the fu-"

"The Panther also has an updated version of your vibranium Iron Heart suit on it's way to your lab location, or garage currently. She has given you access to me as well, with some restrictions. She has instructed me to inform you of this when the AI download is complete."

Riri sat in even more shock than she was in before. She was even more confused about Shuri's intentions now. More confused about her feelings, than anything. She replayed the words the panther had said to her before she left, she knew some Xhosa but it wasn’t great. 

"Can you translate what Shuri said to me in Xhosa before she left, Griot?" Riri asked, hoping for some clarity. Griot calculated for a moment, before answering.

"It would seem I am not permitted to complete that task at this time, Miss Riri."

Riri felt a pang of frustration rise in her, as she let out a laugh.

"Of course not... Can you tell me where the panther is right now?"

Griot took a moment again before answering.

"The Queen was on her way back towards Wakanda as of her last status, but it would seem she has powered off her location devices. Would you like me to contact her for you?"

Riri sat for a moment, considering her options and her own feelings.

"No, that's alright Griot. We're going to my lab. Can you help me boot up VIV when we get there? We're going on a trip."

"As you wish, Miss Riri."

Riri stood up, grabbing a hoodie and sliding on some J's. Before she walked out the door, she slid on the kimoyo beads and asked a final question.

"Oh, one last thing Griot. Can you turn on privacy mode? I would like my location hidden from everyone, including the Panther. Can you do that?"

"It seems I can, but I would not advise that action Miss Riri. There are safety protocols in place that the Panther can activate for you remotely."

"That's fine, just turn it on. I have my own safety protocols."

"As you wish, Miss Riri."

"Thank you, Griot."

Riri made her way to her garage in no time, paying no mind to the world around her or the messages on her phone from MJ about their project. When she got there, she did decide to shoot her a quick text explaining that she was heading home to Chicago for a family emergency, that MJ could find her portion already done on a small drive in her room and that she had permission to break in, and that she would make it up to her later. MJ did reply, but Riri didn’t have time for that. She got to work, with the help of Griot, or the portion of him that she was allowed to operate, and booted up her own AI and implemented it into her nano suit. The one from wakanda was on its way but wouldn’t be there in time. Thankfully, she didn’t have to meet with Namor for another day and a half. She needed to think quickly but after working everything out with her suit, she was unsure where to go from there. 

“Griot, can I use both you and VIV?” 

“Yes, but you likely will not need me once the AI is turned on. I will be there when you need me, though Miss Riri.”

“Thank you Griot.” Riri smiled to herself, always fond of Griot and their robot voice. It made her think about the time she spent in the lab with Shuri, where they would borderline argue and Riri would laugh at them. This brought back that pang in her stomach and chest. She got to work on turning on and engaging with the AI so that it could mold to her needs, voice and patterns. After about an hour, she felt ready to head off. Except she had no idea how to get to Wakanda, let alone how to get in. She ruffled through her bookbag to find the information Namor had sent for her. A small teal envelope with her name on it, looking like it was written with a quill and ink. She shuddered at the thought of how old this man was and how intentional he had been to get this note to her. She opened it and read over it again, hoping to find more information than last time. Then, an idea came to mind.

“Hey VIV, and Griot, not that I don’t think you can handle it by yourself VIV. But uh, can you both scan this for me? I don’t have my Black light. Look for anything and everything. Cross reference what you find, if anything. Please.” 

“Yes IronHeart.” “Yes, Miss Riri.” They both answered in tandem. While they got to work, Riri sat down finally to think about what she could do. She couldn’t exactly call up the avengers to help her figure this out. She had to be lowkey, she had to be smart, and she needed it to work. She had only been to Wakanda once, and wasn’t really in the know about how to travel there let alone get through the border forcefield. As she went over all she did know, trying to remember any details that would help, the AI duo alerted her. 

Griot speaking first, since VIV seemed to sense a deeper trust from the IronHeart’s patterns. 

“There are markings on the back that would indicate a geolocation where Namor would like you to meet.”

“So, coordinates? I can work with that.” Riri said out loud, still trying to figure out exactly how she could work with that. Until she looked over at her father’s red car, in pristine condition thanks to Shuri. And it dawned on her. 

“Griot, do you have contact information for anybody besides Shuri?”

“I have contact information for Queen Shuri, and Okoye, former general of the Dora Milage.”

“Perfect. Please contact her now.”

“Yes, Miss Riri.”

“Wait, before you do, please transfer this contact information over to VIV. I’m not sure if Shuri knows that I have VIV yet, but in case she does, I don’t doubt that she would shut you down.” Riri explains to her favorite robot as if they needed it. Griot complied and sent a call out to Okoye.

Riri waited, holding her breath. She wasn’t sure is Okoye would answer, or even be willing to help. But this is what she had to work with. 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Okoye answered.

“Small girl. Is everything alright?” Okoye answered seeming cheerful enough to hear from the girl but not without worry for the cause. Riri took a deep breath and explained the situation, truthfully, to the best of her ability. Somehow, as a surprise to both of them, Okoye was on her way in a matter of minutes as a Midnight Angel, with a jet that Shuri had let her keep. They both knew Shuri would be upset, but somehow it didn’t matter enough to let her get to Namor. They both knew what could happen, and what Shuri would likely do. 

No time was wasted when Okoye arrived, Riri running in the open hatch as fast as she could. Okoye pulled off without a trace, both of them hoping they hadn’t alerted any American law enforcement this time.

Okoye charted course for Wakanda and they both sat in near silence for most of the ride, only sharing a few words when Riri boarded, Riri showing Okoye the letter before she began piloting. They would make it in time. Riri sat near the back, not feeling like she belonged at the mantle of the machine. She had always liked these, having begged Shuri to teach her how to fly one before they set off for war. Riri sunk into her feelings that she had been trying to keep at bay since finding out about the AI. Before Shuri came, she honestly really wasn’t sure what she was going to do or how she was going to do it. But it seemed like the timing would suggest that she was supposed to, whether she really wanted to believe that or not. She didn’t want to believe that she was this horrible monster who brought death and destruction with her everywhere she went, but sometimes she really did. She tried to fight those thoughts back and began to feel the weight of her body, sinking into the seat. Sinking was a familiar feeling to her. She tried to remember how to swim in her own thoughts. She remembered how Shuri would talk her through her episodes. How she would call right away when she sensed anything off, even if Riri wasn’t wearing her beads. She remembered how it felt to think everything would be okay, and how often that was proved to be untrue. 

It was too easy to remember. Too easy to feel like it was just yesterday. Riri couldn't keep her mind from wandering back in time while the Wakandan jet made its way through the air. Trying to focus on anything else, trying to pay attention to the Dora silently flying or guarding the exit, trying to watch the sky around her. Anything. She couldn't bite down hard enough on the inside of her cheek, leaving a sore mark wasn't enough to keep her mind from its current occupation. 

"What are you doing here?!" The shorter of the two screamed, almost screeched as she ran into the panther's arms. 

"I had some time to myself finally. Where else would I go?" Shuri chuckled as she picked the scientist up. 

"You could literally go anywhere in the world and probably... out of the world? At this point with Wakandan tech." Riri explained, seriously, as she hung onto the slim but toned body holding her off the ground with ease, not realizing she was holding on as tight as she was. Not realizing there was nowhere else Shuri would have gone. Nowhere. 

"You're so... anyway, what should we do?"

"How long do we have?" Riri asked as she pulled back, not even trying to contain her wide grin that was plastered across her face. Shuri recorded it to memory, as she always did with the smaller woman's features. 

"96 hours. Well, 96-ish, less now that we've been standing here debating where I could've gone." Shuri jokes as she lets go, making sure Riri found her footing. 

"Shut up! Four days?! We have so much to do!" Riri definitely screeched this time, pretending to slap Shuri's arm. Fighting the urge to grab it and pull her in, Shuri picks up Riri's book bag from where she dropped it and places it in her desk chair as she walks to the bed and pulls her own bag out from under the bed.

"Exactly how long have you been here? You seem comfortable." Riri jokes as she grabs two waters from her mini fridge and hops up on her bed. 

"I am." Shuri chuckles at the sight of the shorter woman having to jump to get on the bed. "And since your first class."

"Are you serious?! Why didn't you say anything dickhead?!" 

"Ouch!" Shuri feigns pain as she catches the pillow Riri throws at her head and plops on the bed next to her. "I had a few things to handle, and needed to secure the dorm building. I didn't want to disrupt your day, I know midterms are coming up no?"

"Yeah, they are but you could've let a bitch know! I would've cleaned!" Riri states, noticing that she sounds much like her mother. 

"I like your mess." Shuri smiles. 

"Shut up. How did you secure the whole dorm building?"

"Well, I hope you don't mind. I have beads in every corner of the building. And a few around campus as well. Including in here. Is that alright with you?"

"Sheesh. Do I have a choice?" Riri jokes, but Shuri nervously answers.

"Yes of course! If it's not comfortable for you, I can sleep at a hotel. I should've asked, I'm sorry about that. Next time I'll-"

"There's a next time too?"

"Well, if you'd li-"

"Are you crazy?! Of course! And yeah yeah, that's all fine with me. I get it. Don't start worrying about it or nun. I was just curious."

Shuri's smile returns and she relaxes back into the bed. It was oddly comfortable, being that the last time she was here was before the war. Sure, they'd been talking for months over facetimes and calls. And texts. And letters.. oddly, but not to them. They were both truly as desperate as they felt, but excused it since it seemed mutual - opting to call it a mutual interest in friendship, as opposed to what it really was in the bigger picture. And sure, they had seen each other one other time, but it was so brief that it shouldn't really count - although it did, to both of them. 

Shuri had arrived at an American event in Boston, forced to show face by the elders after the uproar surrounding her mother and everything. She felt it was too soon and didn't make sense to attend a tech gala when none of it was even touching Wakandan tech. But regardless, she put on her best suit and went, disregarding the elder's request for her to wear traditional royal attire. She sat there, wishing she hadn't come, while big investors droned on. The only part that peaked her interest was listening to the stories of young inventors. They reminded her of herself, so excited and in a hurry. They reminded her of someone else too. Someone she had been longing to see since she left Wakanda only a few months ago at the time. 

Shuri muddled around the thought of calling Riri, or just showing up at her dorm. She knew she had responsibilities to attend to the next afternoon after she returned home, and it really hadn't been that long. Maybe Riri wasn't ready to see her yet? Or maybe she never would be. Or maybe Shuri had really made their connection up in her own mind. Or maybe she didn't? And maybe she should just call her, or maybe send her a quick text to keep it more casual? Keep what, casual exactly? She wasn't sure. She paced around her own mind anxiously the entire night, not realizing it was her turn to speak until the Doras were next to her asking if she was alright. She collected herself and headed to the stage, performing a speech much like her brother had about the importance of innovation, supporting the youth - especially the Black and Brown youth, etc. She meant what she said but she hardly felt as connected or present with it as she was when she wrote it. Still circling her mind was her favorite innovator, the scientist who made everything make sense to her. Pining so badly, by the end of her speech she had resolved to call Riri. Faking her smiles through the eruption of clapping and handshakes as she left the stage, she made her way back to her seat while the closing speech began - only to lose her resolve when Ayo bent down to whisper a reminder of their exit plan and their intended arrival time back in Wakanda. 

She had known it was a foolish thought. Who even knew what the small scientist would be doing at this time? She could be working, studying, partying. God, Shuri hoped not but recoiled at her own thoughts. She wasn't heteronormative and she wasn't the toxic type. She just also felt jealous of anybody and anything that got to be around Riri when she wasn't. Which was most times. Essentially all the time. Really, she reasoned with herself, she had only been around Riri for a few days and it had been against her will anyway. Maybe she really was making all of this up in her head. 

The Queen of Wakanda continued her mental pace as she made her exit, later than most guests and certainly not from the front entrance. She walked through the beautiful building with the Doras who were talking amongst themselves about logistics, seemingly all having caught onto another one of Shuri's "moods". Shuri paid them no mind, as they expected, while she began brooding. What was the point of coming to America, aside from like... the actual point, politically - if not to see her scientist? She caught herself scoffing at "her scientist", making fun of herself in her head as they headed outside and around the back when the Doras suddenly stood alert around her. Shuri looked around her and back at her beads quickly, doing a quick scan of their surroundings, only to hear a small, out of breath "Hey" from her left.

"Williams?"

"Yeah, yeah.. haha. Hoo. Crazy catching you here." Riri joked awkwardly as she tried to catch her breath from clearing having run.

"Yes, well I was-"

"Giving a speech. I saw on tv. Just happened to be in the neighborhood myself so I figured I'd uh, say hi." Riri cut the Panther off as she caught her bearings and finally made eye contact. Shuri made contact back, silently signaling for the Dora to drop their guard. Ayo looked between them but of course followed command. Shuri stepped between them and closer to the scientist, who was now twiddling her fingers and looking anywhere but at Shuri. Just like she did in Wakanda. Just like Shuri had replayed in her head a billion times over. While Shuri took the absence of eye contact as a chance to damn near gawk at the smaller woman, Riri was doing her own mental laps. 

She also questioned her intentions and if she had been making this all up. She also questioned how crazy she must look, showing up here like this. She couldn't stop herself, leaving MJ, Peter and Ned in her OWN room after they had been flipping through channels and Riri caught a glimpse. That was all it took, one, maybe two seconds and she was out the door. And granted, she kind of was in the neighborhood. If you consider being four miles away in the neighborhood. She had considered grabbing her car from the garage but figured it would take too long, so she jumped in her nano suit her and Peter had been working on (that definitely still needed some work), and flew over. Of course she couldn't land in front of everyone, so she landed in a park a few blocks away and took off on foot. None of which she will EVER tell anybody, although she could barely remember her excuse to the three friends she left in her dorm as she forced herself to look back up and meet Shuri's eyes. 

"In the neighborhood?"

"You could say that." Riri joked awkwardly again.

This made Shuri laugh. Riri had that effect on her, she had learned during their late night lab sessions. Even in the midst of the grimmest of days and a literal war, Riri had Shuri laughing so hard she cried a few times. They both seemed to be thinking back while they laughed together and smiled at each other shyly until Ayo cleared her throat. 

"We must get going, Kumkanikazi." Both women seemed to jump a bit, having been pulled out of their staring contest. Riri shuddered at hearing Shuri be called that, she recognized it from when Okoye would speak about Queen Ramonda. She had done her best to pick up on as much of the language as she could when she was there, for some reason unknown to her - she just figured it would come in handy. But now, hearing it and knowing it meant Queen, shook her to her core. She remembered why she hadn't reached out, the guilt that sat in her bones about it. She nearly turned on her heels until she heard Shuri speak. 

"One moment please."

"My Queen, we really must-" Ayo begun speaking in Xhosa but was cut off by the Panther Queen. 

"Please. One moment." Shuri said, a command but almost begging, not turning to face the general one step to the side of her. She pulled at the necklace around her neck and Ayo nodded silently. 

"I will ready the jet." Ayo answered and turned around, her and the two other Dora briskly walking to the jet that was just now coming into Riri's focus. She assumed it was using the new camouflage tech she had heard mentioned before she left Wakanda. 

"Those things get cooler every time."

"Yeah, I suppose they do." Shuri laughed half heartedly. They both tried to speak but cut each other off.

"So-"

"I do-"

"You first." They both sheepishly smiled as they spoke in unison. but Riri insisted. "Go ahead, please." 

Shuri would've resisted if she wasn't so desperate and struggling against showing it. 

"How have you been? I've mis- I've been wondering. We haven't spoken since you left." Shuri caught herself, suddenly feeling like twiddling her fingers and looking at her shoes too but she resisted that too. She was good at resisting. 

"Oh.. well yeah. I've been. You know, school, work. Just been trying to get through the semester. I wanted to re- well I wondered how you've been too."

"I've been, too." Shuri shrugged with a smile. She wanted to know more, everything. To devour the stories Riri could tell her, even the most mundane. She wanted to know what pencils she used to write equations and what she thought of the food in her cafeteria. Riri just smiled, feeling the weight again. She knew Shuri hadn't been good, and she knew she hadn't either. 

"Can I ask you-" They both spoke in unison again. 

"You first." Riri insisted again, before Shuri could. Shuri didn't like it but she also didn't have much time to waste. 

"Why didn't you reach out?" She asked, leaving Riri out of breath all over again. After a second that seemed like a million, Riri answered.

"I didn't know how." She said truthfully. 

"I left you beads. Maybe I should've left a note too. I'm sorry, I figured you'd-"

"No, no. Not like that. I figured that out, it was actually pretty easy." Riri smiled, thinking about how much fun it was to try to get the beads to work. Fun until it wasn't. Fun until she heard Shuri's voice message and left it for months.

"Then you didn't want to?"

"No, I did. I just didn't know... how. I didn't know what to say, or how to say it. But trust me, I wanted to. I really wanted to." Riri said earnestly and more quiet than she intended. Shuri believed her and took her answer, even if she didn't like it. Again resisting herself. Resisting Riri. 

"I understand. Thank you for letting me know. Well..." She looked back at the Jet and sighed. They made eye contact before Shuri decided it would be best to count her losses in her own country, turning to leave. 

"Wait, I still have a question!" Riri almost shouted. "If that's okay... of course." She said more quiet. Shuri turned around eager to hear. Hoping. Resisting. But hoping. She nodded her head.

"Well..." Riri twisted her fingers around in her hands. She still didn't know what to say or how to say it. But she didn't have much time to waste. 

"Well?" Shuri asked, trying not to sound pushy but anxious to know. 

"Is it too late?" Riri asked, looking back up at the woman in front of her. The face she had committed to memory, but a bit different. More mature. Somehow even more beautiful. Shuri said nothing.

"...To reach out... To talk?" Riri finally drove it home, sending a silent prayer to whoever would answer that she wouldn't further embarrass herself. 

Startling the both of them, Shuri's beads lit up and Ayo's face appeared. 

"My apologies my Queen, but if we do not leave in the next three minutes, you may be late to your engagements tomorrow."

"Yes, thank you. I'm coming." Shuri said back, eyes still on Riri. 

Riri felt defeated as she watched the panther tuck her beads back up her sleeve. It probably was too late. And who knows. Maybe it was the right thing to do to not stay in contact. Maybe that's what was best for Wakanda or Shuri. She remembered her mother always telling her that sometimes "doing the right thing feels like shit". In this case, she thought, it felt worse than shitty.

That was until Shuri grabbed her hand. Softly, almost too soft in comparison to what you'd expect from a super powered panther. It was so soft yet sent a shiver through Riri, like electricity was coursing through her. Like her heart was beating for the first time. The eye contact was somehow not as awkward as it was a second ago when they were standing a few feet apart. It was like they were all alone.

"Use the beads. If they need to charge, just set them in the sun but they shouldn't."

"Oh- Okay. I will. I will." Riri said twice, almost like she was confirming with herself first and the Shuri.

"Good." Shuri smiled. She took a step closer before she heard another beep on her own beads. Before the General could speak, Shuri was already responding. 

"I heard you. I'm coming."

She looked at Riri again and sighed, and suddenly Riri saw just how exhausted the Panther really was. And maybe something else too. Shuri stepped back again, not wanting to let go of Riri's hand. 

"It'll never be too late. I'll see you soon?" Shuri said, finally letting go and letting the physical distance regrow between them, hoping that the emotional distance wouldn't grow again too. 

Riri watched as the panther walked back to the jet and boarded, looking back only once, only long enough to catch Riri's small wave but not return it. The younger scientist stood there feeling disassociated, unsure of what to do next. Really, she knew she had to go back to her dorm and go back to living her real life just like she had after she left Wakanda. Although, as dreary as that still seemed to her, this time felt different. Like there was something to look forward to, if she had the balls to actually use the beads like Shuri had said. She mulled over whether or not it was an instruction or a question from the Panther as she chose not to watch the jet fly off behind her. She heard the media start to buzz again when they heard the jet, upset that they had missed the person they were waiting for. Yet, Riri stood there and stared at the ground where Shuri was just standing. She still felt that pathetic feeling, and worried that she hadn't had a chance to explain how she found Shuri or even knew she would be there. She felt the weight of grief again, after seeing how tired Shuri looked when you really looked at her. And she felt guilty, for feeling excited. For feeling the butterflies she always pretended she didn't feel. She wondered, briefly, how Shuri was feeling right now but per usual, tried not to wonder too much as to not become delusional. She knew better than anybody that assuming to know how someone else thinks is the worst mistake you can make. 

Shuri, back in the jet that was flying faster than she would like, was afflicted by similar thoughts. She wondered how Riri had found her and wondered if she really was as lucky as that just felt. She wondered why the girl even came. She wondered if she thinks about her too. She wondered if Riri would use the beads. She sat awake, replaying every moment of their time together since their first encounter over and over until they arrived in Wakanda, despite the Doras concerns for her not getting rest. Shuri would rest when things were well enough for her to rest, she told herself, but even she was starting to notice the cracks. She knew she could only stay awake for so many days until her body would shut down. She had secretly tried some of the elixirs and teas that both Nakia and Aneka had sent her, and she had read what Okoye sent her after hearing everything. She had slept every now and then, but it was never restful. It was never without torment from some figment of her mind taking shape of someone she wasn't ready to face - whether that be Namor, N'jdaka, or her mother. She always prayed for T'Challa to appear, who she wasn't sure if she was ready to see but longed for the comfort of his voice or face, but each time her body fell asleep, her mind fell into a well pit of despair. 

That is, until later that night. Shuri had been through her daily responsibilities after making it back to Wakanda. Once her meetings were over, she made her way to the lab. She did her best to avoid checking the status of Riri's beads, trying to keep her mind busy as she usually did. It was harder this time, knowing that she'd actually spoken to the girl. After bopping around a bit, her body started to feel the weight of the past few days. She hadn't been physically training as much as she should've the past few weeks, because she knew it would knock her out but she was starting to feel stiff. She finally let up and sat down at one of her desks in a back room of the lab after Griot had let her know her vitals. She didn't usually sit in this room, so she hadn't been aware of what was placed in there. As she lazily sifted through the papers on the desk to try to keep her mind occupied, she saw blueprints for Riri's Iron Heart suit. The same feeling of nervousness and excitement rose in her as she more hurriedly looked over them. Despite all the work they did together, she never really got to see too much of Riri's initial process from scratch. She ran her slender fingers over Riri's pencil marks, reading over all her notes to herself. 

With a yawn, Shuri sat back and relished in the fact that Riri actually existed. Sometimes, when Shuri was really out of it, she couldn't believe that everything really happened. She was sometimes convinced she would wake up and her mother would still be here, or that Riri was just a figment of her desperate imagination. Sure, having her mother back would be... well, everything. But it scared Shuri to think Riri might not have been real, that she didn't really happen. She felt selfish for this, knowing that Riri's life would probably be better without the trauma she endured in Wakanda. But nevertheless, Shuri held on tight to the memories she had of the woman, hoping that they would be enough for her. 

She thought about how it felt to hold Riri's hand, to touch her skin again. It was just as soft and delicate as it had been when they parted ways a few months ago. Her face looked the same, maybe more mature in some ways. She looked tired too, underneath the face she put on for other people. They had gotten past that with each other during their long nights alone working together in the lab. 

She thought about what it would feel like to fall asleep in Riri's bed. The mattress probably wasn't super comfortable but she remembers all the colorful pillows she has, messily strewn across the surface. The different colored blankets would probably fit them both well, even with the little space a twin bed supplies. They would have to be close, touching. Shuri imagined breathing in sync, feeling Riri's ribcage rise and fall in her arms while they were pressed against each other. She thought about how Riri smells. She's been trying to replicate it for months. She thought about breathing her in, laying her face in the crook of her neck and sleeping. Not thinking. Sleeping. Not even having to dream. She thought about waking up next to her, seeing her sleeping still until Shuri shifted too much by accident. Riri waking up and no doubt saying something funny. Or soft. Or just saying hello. How her eyes would look. She thought about not being afraid to make it real, that in her thoughts she didn't have to pretend that these touches were by accident or out of necessity. That they could spend an eternity, wrapped in colorful blankets, sleeping and touching skin to skin. That maybe Riri would feel the same, and they would laugh about how long it took to figure it out. That they would laugh until they couldn't, and talk until they couldn't, and then they would kiss. And everything would melt away, and neither would know where their skin would begin or end. And they would kiss until they couldn't. And they'd sleep. 

She hadn't realized she had fallen asleep at the desk until she heard Griot's voice. 

"Sorry to startle you, Panther. But, Miss Williams is trying to contact you. How would you like me to proceed?"

Shuri was shook, unsure of what she looked like or even what time it was. She felt nervous. She felt groggy, not even sure if this was real either. Nevertheless, she answered. 

"Patch me through, please."

She waited a moment with bated breath, hoping this wasn't a dream or some fluke. Until she heard a familiar voice.

"Hello?" Riri asked, sounding nervous herself. Shuri wondered what time it was there, too. 

"Hey." She said, in a more relaxed tone. Even if this wasn't real, it was still the best dream she'd had in months. Maybe ever.

And they talked, for a long time. Eventually working through any awkwardness. Riri never explained how she made it to the Panther, and the Panther never asked. She did explain, however, why it took so long for her to call. Shuri just listened and let herself laugh, like she'd been dreaming about. Finally feeling free for a little bit, even if it was just for a little bit.

On the other side of things, once Riri had cleared everyone out of her room when she got back and promising to explain to MJ later, she had sat down and thought about what to do. That turned into pacing and talking outloud. She had been avoiding the beads like the plague for months, unsure of what to do. Unsure of what choice would cause the least harm, since she already felt guilty for what she had caused. She found herself awake all night feeling anxious. She left for class that morning, deciding that she would get through her day and take a nap. She would figure it out after that. What she didn't tell Shuri, is how hard its been to sleep since she left Wakanda, or really even how hard it was while she was there. But when she tried to take a nap, she realized that all she dreamed about this time was Shuri and how soft her hand was when they had touched and how peaceful it felt to talk to her, even if only for a few moments and only a few words. She decided when she woke up that even if they ended up never talking again, she would keep her promise and use the beads.

And that's what she did. And that's what they kept doing, for weeks and months. They talked, they listened, they laughed, and on rare occasion, fell asleep. Both free from nightmares, even if just for a little while. Until Shuri finally arrived.

And finally, they had some time to really figure things out. Shuri promised she wasn't missing anything important by being there, and that she had allotted enough time. Riri was still unsure about it but couldn't resist the opportunity to finally see the woman she had been pining over for months - as a friend, of course. 

As Riri remembered back fondly, she had forgotten what was ahead of her until she was jolted by turbulence that was usually well controlled by the Wakandan tech in the fighter jet. She couldn't process how she could possibly be on her way to confront the man that almost killed her and did actually kill the Queen of Wakanda. She couldn't fathom that she was racing there, against her love, her best friend, to make sure she didn't kill him first. Suddenly her clothes all felt too tight, and her suit felt heavy despite being nano. Suddenly the air felt hot and her lungs felt empty and she felt dizzy. She had felt all of this before, a panic attack. Riri Williams was no stranger to a panic attack. Not before Wakanda, and definitely not after. Though, for the past few months, she had always had Shuri to help ground her. Now, she was floating in the air, literally and figuratively. Everything was moving so fast. She felt herself spiraling and cursing herself in the process, unable to stop it but ashamed nonetheless. She had worked hard, since she was younger, to have a control over her emotions and thoughts. She needed to, especially if she was going to take this super hero shit serious. Especially if she was going to be there for her mom and sister after her dad passed. Especially if she was going to make it. But she felt that control slowly ripping itself to shreds, doing a number on all the mental blocks she had in place. She couldn't lose Shuri. She couldn't be the cause of another war in Wakanda. She couldn't live with the guilt. She couldn't let Shuri get hurt, or worse, for her again. Even if it meant confronting a man much more powerful than her. Even if it meant losing. Even if it meant drowning all over again. 

Suddenly, she felt a cool hand grace the side of her cheek. She felt her suit dematerialize around her until it was just a bracelet again. She felt Okoye kneel down in front of her, eyes kinder than they usually were. She felt her pull her in close and squeeze. The pressure of the embrace bringing Riri back into her body. They stayed like that until Riri could breathe again. 

She went to apologize as Okoye pulled back silently, just as she had appeared, but she was cut off. 

"Aht aht. There is no need." Okoye softly but firmly let her know, sitting down next to her. They had never been this close before. Riri looked over to see the jet flying itself. The first time she saw that happen she was crazy nervous, but she's grown to trust both Wakandan tech and Okoye. After a few moments of silence, Okoye spoke again.

"I know what she means to you, you know."

Riri looked at her finally, noticing how somber her eyes really looked. She had seen those eyes before, but not like this. Okoye continued, looking back out the windows. 

"I was T'Challa's right hand. I saw it all, from the beginning to the end. I saw him be the panther, I saw him be the king. I saw him be Shuri's brother." Riri felt a pang in her at the use of Shuri's name. She listened.

"And I saw him fall in love. I saw him devote himself to Nakia, and I saw her unravel at the loss of him - until she left. I saw it all, as much as I could. And I often wondered why I didn't feel the way they seemed to feel when my husband betrayed me and Wakanda. But their love... it was pure. It was something out of this world, it was something built into them." Okoye sighed, feeling grief in many directions. Riri found herself fighting back tears again until Okoye looked at her with different eyes, almost loving eyes this time.

"I have seen that kind of love before and that is how I know you have it. Both of you. And that is how I know we will figure this out." Okoye looked at her and squeezed her hand again, affirming what she said. They both heard the AI tell them they were approaching in the next 5 minutes. Through her tears that were now shamelessly falling down her face, Riri gulped out a question, in true Riri fashion.

"Do you think you will ever love like that?"

"I already do." Okoye said, getting up and adjusting herself to get back to the front of the plane to chart their secret entrance into Wakanda. Riri looked confused.

"Ngudade wethu." Okoye answered again, before sitting down and being who she needed to be. Riri knew what she said, and knew that she was right. About all of it. 

As they prepared themselves, Riri suited up and made her way to the front of the plane. 

"Where did he say to meet?" The midnight angel asked Riri. She sent the coordinates to the jet and looked at them wistfully. She hadn't really thought about where she might actually be going to "talk" to him when she was rushing to get herself to Wakanda. She jumped when Okoye gasped. 

"What?! What is it?!" Worry filled her from head to toe again, hoping it had nothing to do with Shuri. 

"That bastard... We are going to have to find a way to break into the palace. He wants to meet in the throne room."

Riri was speechless, knowing that this was a tactic to try to make her feel weak. She also couldn't deny that it was working. She felt her heart rate increase at the thought of being back in there. Of seeing the place where she almost died. Of... all of it. She had visited many times in her dreams, all against her will. And now she would face him there, against her will. She knew he was doing this to weaken her resolve, much like her and Shuri did with the dehydrating jet. She knew his intent all along, but this certainly solidified it. 

Riri tried to make peace with dying in Wakanda. Once again, her mom wouldn't know where she was or how any of this happened. She wondered what lie they would tell her. She wondered if she would fight or just give herself to him. She wondered what Shuri would do, knowing this wouldn't end well no matter what she did. But she held her mind together as best as she could. She knew she had to meet him before she did. She knew she had to do what she could to prevent a second war. Okoye knew too, looking at her and then pulling up her own beads to try and locate Shuri. 

"The Panther's location services are currently offline." The Ai spoke to them. 

"Let us pray she is behind us and not ahead of us."

"Will she know where to find us?"

"We are about to break into the most secure place on the planet earth. I'm sure everyone will know where to find us in a matter of moments." Okoye answered and they shared a look. 

"I hope you know, I will fight until the end with you. I have stood with the Wakandan throne my whole life. I have stood with Shuri and those that came before her. I have stood for the safety of my people as best as possible, but I have made my own mistakes before. I will stand with you, now, Riri. No matter the outcome."

Riri felt the pull of her tear ducts again but different this time. Okoye reminded her of her own sister, and of her own mistakes. She reached out a hand and found Okoye's. They held hands until it was time to land. 

Once they had maneuvered their way into the country using Okoye's knowledge as former general and her new disguising tech, which Riri made a note to recreate if she made it out of this, Riri followed Okoye into the dense jungle around them.

"The best chance we have is to stay low until we can't anymore, and then charge in. The Doras won't see it coming but they will react, with their full might as they've been trained to do. Even to me. Our goal is not to harm any Wakandans, but we have to get to the throne room before he does. I will do my best to reason with Ayo and Aneka but they will resist a meeting with him there. Once we spot him, we must draw him away from the palace. Even if it means drawing him to the sea. Remember that he is most powerful near water."

Riri nods as she listens. Okoye wishes there were another way.

"Remember that if we see Shuri, we may already be too late. We must keep them separate. I do not know if she will choose peace a second time. Not when it concerns you."

"I don't want her to do this, I hope you know. You were right. You were right about it all. I love her. But I don't want her to risk everything for me. You all already have and I can't live with that. I can't live with any of this. I don't want to die but... But I can't let everyone else die for me either." Riri spits out, hoping she's being believed. She means it. Okoye looks at her and hears Nakia's voice in her head. "I just know his spirit. It is simple in that way for me."

"Ndiyawazi umoya wakho. I believe you. And I will fight to make sure no one has to die today, unfortunately even him if it means peace."

"Thank you."

"Thank you, small girl."

"For what?" Riri asked, genuinely surprised since most of the mayhem the past few months has been a result of her actions - intentional or not. 

"For giving her something to hold onto again. Something to believe in." Okoye answered truthfully. Riri didn't know what to say but she took in what the older woman said, against trusting her. After a few moments of silence, it was time.

"Stand behind me and do not fly until I tell you. If you enter the air space anywhere near the palace, you will be shot down before you can count to one. Do you understand?" Riri nodded. 

She did understand. Now, more clearly than ever.

🖤

#black sapphic #riri williams #Shuri Udaku #iron heart #black panther #black panther wakanda forever #black wlw #marvel #SHURIRI #SCIENCE GAYS #SORRY FOR THE ANGST BUT I HAD TO