#the gays love the frogs: proof

[inahallucination]

famous au but um dumb

@cowboylexapro

if the poets were on social media and famous this is what they'd be known for

(age somewhere between 19-21)

todd

tumblr blog name: toad.anderson

ao3 name: toad.writes

he's technically anon but not rlly

sexiest tumblr account known to man - he's a fanfic writer and an au poster with some occasional og stuff that floods his inbox with asks begging him to publish his og work too - what fandom does he write for? all of them.

his bf proof reads them all even if he's never been in the fandom

he writes fics for his friends when they get famous

in between his novel worthy fanfics are shitty fics of his friends

his followers get rlly confused

he wrote a neil x reader fic until straight girls started claiming it and he took it down becuz the reader was him

todd on his blog: guyss… im so sorry but im taking the neil x reader fic down… im sorry if i offend anyone but the reader was me ❤️ not you - i don't like you all claiming it

after taking down the x reader, he does a neil x oc but the oc is him but with green eyes

neil, after the oc gets described: todd the only person im seeing is u tho 😦 and u have blue eyes

eventually his relationship with famous tiktoker neil perry gets revealed and ppl realize he's not just an obsessed fan

after neil says the thing blog: toad.anderson: guys my real name is todd anderson everyone: omg we wouldve never guessed

after neil and him go public and ppl dont believe that neil is gay he alternates between seething and writing neil fics and taking joy from neil's confusion

todd points out comments that are obviously thirsting over neil and neil still doesn't realize he's being thirsted over

"neil be the father of my children!" "oh i think they meant that in a godfather type way"

todd, at a breaking point, suggests that neil and him post a kissing video but neil doesnt wanna be one of those shawn camilla couples - respect

what if he posted them kissing but he made a historians will call them bestfriends joke but then ppl did🧍‍♂️

"my bestie and I 🤩 " "NEIL PEOPLE ARE GOING TO THINK UR SERIOUS"

//

neil

tiktok name: neilliard.at.julliard

accidentally tiktok famous for pretty face, charming personality, acting abilities - the theater kids had a claim over him orignially but he's pretty mainstream now

comment section full of old grandmas trying to set him up with their granddaughters

everyones dream bf until he posted about his own bf

neil: my boyfie has a big tumblr and he writes a lot and he really likes frogs and he is also blond and heres his address

hes kinda oblivious about everything

"you want a close up of my collar bones? why ?"

reading comment "'show your abs?' its nice you think i have abs! only my boyfriend can see those tho 😉 "

the comments go wild

people are stitching it screaming for different reasons

all his fans r screaming into pillows bc HES TAKEN NOOO

people are trying to figure out who this mans boyfie is

"he has a boyfriend??" "he's been straightbaiting us!" "NOO HE'S TAKEN" "IS UR BF AS HOT AS U" "look at the way his eyes lit up when he said bf i love love" "this video shows an aspect of society that-"

"tell us about ur bf" and he makes a week worth of videos but its all random stuff

"my bf looks pretty in blue" "my bf likes to put salt and pepper on his fries" "my bf has hair"

the straightbaiting comments come after him posting about pride and having a pride flag in the background of his videos <- they say things like "he's such a good ally"

people attack others in the comments who ask him if hes queer "NO NEIL ISNT GAY NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE GAY HE COULD JUST BE A REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY FRUITY STRAIGHT GUY WHO LIKES GIRLS"

"are you gay neil???" -> "not everything has to be gay ppl can just be allys and btw by assuming every ally is gay, ur actually hurting the movement!!!" -> "i asked becuz he said he wanted to kiss his boy best friend on the lips in highschool" -> "he meant it heterosexual-ly"

someone asks him what his type is and he describes todd to the t and they think he likes a short haired blonde

"he likes girls in sweat pants not skirts" "his type isnt ppl in skirts" -- neil would love todd in a skirt but thats not the point

his type: "he's really shy, gorgeous, short dirty blonde hair, uhhhh, really smart, and So much more :))"

he could say my boyfriend is a man who i am dating because i am gay and they would still try to straight-ify him

a grainy video gets leaked of a short haired blond guy jumping into his arms and ppl say things like "its just a girl with short hair"

todd hate writes a neil x male reader fic

he asks his friends for help and they post todd's face everywhere on his recording set

he makes a video like "meet my toddy"

in the video todd says he's a boy and he's todd and he's neil boyfriend 3485757 times and neil is like "omg babe i love u too <33" becuz he doesnt Understand

some ppl r still in denial or think he's bi w/ a preference for girls

straight girls like him becuz he has a pretty face and a general respect for women

during prom season, he gets dmed a lot of websites for buying prom tickets

"don't worry guys! i know i said my high school time was rough, but i actually did go to prom with my bf!!"

//

charlie

twitter name: therealalpha

most popular podcast name: daltons intercourse

joke/bait account ppl took seriously

The Alpha that other alpha posters bow to

says stuff like "SIGMA MALES KISS ALPHAS ON THE MOUTH TO ASSURT DOMINANCE"

the twitter alphas buy into him so bad he's making podcasts and doign interviews and he has no clue how tf he got here but he's riding the high

he advocates for being alpha via kissing ur homies

when he gets famous he begs todd to write a fic about him

todd agrees pretty easily tbh

"ARE YOU EVEN AN ALPHA MALE IF PPL AREN'T WRITING GAY FICS ABOUT YOU"

charlie posts things like "no homo" "only the real make out with their homies" over those black and white pics of muscle-y dudes w/ no context after the neil video he posts "he homo" over one of them w/ no context

at first ppl try to attack him but then theyre like wtf is going on here and realize he's trolling the alpha community

when no one realizes neil is actually gay he makes a podcast episode talking about how he thinks neil is gay gay homosexual gay - he's holding a cigar and wearing a tight hawaiian unbuttoned shirt like "lets talk about this gay gay theater gay boykisser man"

made by @cowboylexapro

//

pitts

youtube name: gerdoesstuff

joint youtube name: idkman

homework help and crafts videos youtuber - relaxed vibes only here to be calm

he gives study and concentration tips and encourages ppl to seek help and companionship and not suffer alone

he paints mugs and looks for bugs

he was on charlie's podcast and they discussed the alpha-ness of making pottery

todd wrote a pitts x reader fic becuz ppl begged him to

pitts printed it out and framed it and put it in his filming set up

he's a regular on meeks podcast too btw and meeks is a regular on his

but when meeks is around things explode so

he has a second channel with meeks where they do silly experiments

theyre posting schedule is non-existent and they also do streams but they never tell you so their viewers just have to hope and find out

knox and him are planning on making a movie review channel but its still not fully thought out so

he makes couple mugs for todd and neil when neil asks for help

he wakes up at 2 am and sends todd prompts

anytime he learns a fun fact he sends it to todd on the off chance todd may need it for a story at some point in his life

anytime he reads anything he's like damn neil will love to act like this character and lets him know about it

he sends charlie alpha podcasters to make fun of

at some point he exposes cam's shitty handwriting for the giggles

knox

instagram name: knoxious.ur.mom.ious

he posted a short on his instagram talking about how he just learned hair grows from the head and not the bottom and blew up for being a dummy - he doesn't know whats going on but he's having a blast

he stirs up drama but on accident

he was on pitts youtube before

out of everyone here he's the only one not making content he's just vibing

eventually he ends up posting background footage of everyone doing dumb shit

when it comes out theyre friends ppl stalk his instagram to find more proof

after that he starts to stir drama but more consciously

hmm what else - idk he's just chilling, getting called out for being dumb and watching his friends do dumb stuff

oh wait when he makes that short about the hair a bunch of commentary channels post about it and he takes it like a badge of honor

cameron

instagram name: cam.studies

pinterest name: cam.studies

one of those aesthetic studying accounts on insta and pinterest - takes nice shots of his homework and his pen collections and his study desk

except its only for the pics his handwriting is atrocious - he has like one page or paragraph of pretty handwriting to post and the rest is scribbled chaos - his pens are never organized by color, theyre just thrown in a box, and his desk is filled with papers and books and never looks clean but its fine he's just here for clout

he ends up sponsoring and reviewing businesses that make those cute study supplies so now he has a hoard - or at least he did until his friends started taking them

he groaned about the cam.studies x {random ass ppl} fics todd wrote but he thinks theyre funny and has them bookmarked

he went on charlie's podcast and the two argued for half of it and then explained how as two alphas they would settle their differences by kissing

his friends help him angle his aesthetic shots at cafes and shit

he got exposed eventually as a fake becuz ppl (cough) posted his real notes which were messy and disorganized

but he played it off as a commentary about how the internet is fake and got more sponsorships

he judges todd and neil but is eating popcorn at the front seat of the drama

meeks

podcast name: chameleon hotel

youtube channel name: idkman

meeks makes a podcast for very stupid intricate crimes. he has a cult following of bisexuals

its stuff like drama over a tree being taken down

"the locals even called their beloved tree 'ole alvin'"

charlie: todd write a meeks x ole alvin fic

he has standards, so he does

he went on charlie's podcast and convinced ppl that being with other men allowed u to suck in their alpha-ness and become the ultimate alpha

but generally he just makes his little silly videos and makes cryptic posts about the neil todd drama

has a joint channel w/ pitts

is up to date with the neil thing and is the one to send neil updates

he tries to convince neil to act out his podcasts (with a lot of success lmao)

he tries to convince todd to write fics based on his podcasts (also with a lot of success)

as payback for the ole alvin x meeks fic he convinces todd (very easily) to write a bunch of dumb charlie fics and todd agrees becuz he has standards

no one actually knows that the poets know each other

they eventually post a group photo

"we need to cancel neil perry for being friends with an alpha podcast guy" "nah thats just charlie"

"yall know hes bi, right?"

"he literally has a podcast about how sucking dick as a man makes u the ultimate alpha male"

it does explain why charlie's alpha podcast go from tiktok actor, tumblr fanfic writer, instagram study blog, fellow podcaster, hw help tiktoker in between his satire of normal alpha tiktokers

half of these things are like copy and pasted from our conversation btw so dont blame me for them

#todd anderson #neil perry #anderperry #dead poets society #deadpoets #dead poets headcanons #neil and todd #todd and neil #dps fandom #dps #charlie dalton #dps fanfiction #dps fic #dps headcanons #dps memes #dps incorrect quotes #meeks #steven meeks #stephen meeks #dead poets #gerard pitts #meeks and pitts #pitts dps #cameron richard #richard cameron #knox overstreet #anderperry social media

[bingbongsupremacy]

Pen Pal

Pairing: Ellie Williams x reader

Warnings: Slight mentions of homophobia

Summary: You've been Pen Pals with Ellie since you were in 5th grade. Will you finally get to meet her in person?

*Not Proof Read* TLOU Masterlist

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3

*****

November 3, 2028 (10 yrs old)

Dear Y/N,

My name is Ellie. I'm a fifth grader in Miss James' class in Wyoming. I like Savage Starlight and cookies. My best friends' name is Riley.

Do you have a best friend? Do you like Savage Starlight?

Sincerely Ellie Williams

November 10, 2028 (10 yrs old)

Dear Ellie,

Hi! It's nice to meet you! I love Savage Starlight! My brother hates them though. He never takes me to buy them at the book store :(

My bestfriends' name is Julie! Cookies are cool! I like ice cream. I have a dog. Do you have a dog? Do you like frogs? I like the color pink. Do you like pink?

Sincerely Y/N L/N

June 20, 2030 (12 yrs old)

Dear Y/N,

How's your dog? Joel's teaching me how to play the guitar! I learned how to play a song yesterday! I'm so happy.

Riley and I are planning on going to the fair tomorrow. I wish you could come. I bet you'd love Riley! Maybe some day you could meet her.

I finished the new addition of Savage Starlight yesterday and I'm so fucking sad. Did you finish it? I won't spoil. Let me know if you did so we can talk about it!

Sincerely Ellie!

June 28, 2030 (12 years old)

Dear Ellie,

I have bad news. Pepper died.

She died last night. Mom said she got really old and died in her sleep. Pepper was a good dog. I'm going to miss her.

I'm really sad. I wish she was still her.

I haven't finished Savage Starlight yet. I'm waiting until I feel happy. Maybe in a few days.

Sincerely Y/N

August 3, 2032 (14 years old)

Y/N,

Riley's moving away. She came over and told me today. I'm really sad about it. She's been my friend ever since kindergarten.

She's moving to Boston.

I found an a cute ice cream shop yesterday and thought of you. Maybe some day you can see it. We could get ice cream there and then look at the comic book store.

I can't believe Savage Starlight is fucking ending. I've been reading it since fourth grade. I don't want it to end. How do you feel about it ending?

Love, Els

August 9, 2032 (14 years old)

Els,

I'm so sorry about Riley. That sucks. I hope you guys can still talk.

I'd love to go to the ice cream shop and comic book store with you one day. My brother went off to college today. He's studying to be a doctor. Cool right?

I don't want Savage Starlight end either. I wish it could go on forever. Fucking sucks.

I think you're my best friend.

Love, Y/N

September 12, 2032 (16 yrs old)

Y/N,

I won first place in the art show! I'm so fucking happy. Joel took me out for ice cream with Sarah yesterday. We had so much fun.

Do you think we should start using email? Or texting? Joel got me phone yesterday! I'm so excited! Here's my number if you want to text xxx-xxx-xxxx and my email: [email protected]

I've started working out at a local gym. I love it. I'm going every day. I think I might do something with space when I'm older. I really like space.

Also, I'm gay.

Love, Els

September 18, 2032 (16 yrs old)

Receiver: [email protected]

Subject: Hi

Els, this is my email! I'll send you a text right after this. I'm so happy for you! First phone yay!! Also congrats on the art show!

The gym is fun! And space is so cool! I'm not sure what I'll do yet when I'm older. I'm still deciding. I'm glad you know what you want to do though.

Also, cool! I'm glad you feel comfortable telling me! I love you, Els. <3

My brother's being a fucking asshole. He refuses to come to my birthday party because his girlfriend's parents want to have dinner the same day.

I wish you could come. Maybe some day.

Love, Y/N

May 2, 2034 (18 yrs old)

Receiver: [email protected]

Subject: So

I think I might not be straight. I'm not sure. I've only told you. I can't tell my parents. I don't know how they'd react. I know my brother would hate me. He's a fucking dick now. I don't know why he's the way he is.

My parents have started fighting a lot. Money problems I think. I think my dad might have cheated on my mom too.

I'm excited to go to college next year. I'm glad we got into the same school! We'll finally be able to meet. I've been wanting to meet you for years. Maybe I can finally get away from all the shit that's been going on lately.

I don't know why this all happened so fucking fast.

I hope you're well.

Lots of Love, Y/N

May 2, 2034 (18 yrs old)

Receiver: y/[email protected]

Subject: So

Hey, so I know how you're feeling. It'll take some time to figure out, but you'll get there. No matter what, I'll love you.

You're family sounds like a bunch of dicks. I'm sorry you have to go through that.

I've been talking with Joel and he said I could do this.

Do you want to come stay with me and my family over the summer? Maybe get a break from your family? We could idk finally fucking meet?

Let me know if you want to come to Wyoming. You could meet my friends. Then we could drive up to school together. It's not too far from my house. Maybe day or two away.

Also, I got a girlfriend. her name is Cat. She gave me this cool ass tattoo. I'll send a pic.

__Pic Attached__

Love, Els

My eyes scan over the email again, making sure I didn't imagine what I just read. Ellie just invited me to Wyoming for the summer! There's no fucking way I'm missing this opportunity.

I'm finally going to get to meet her!

My eyes land on the last line. I got a girlfriend.

Fuck.

#fanfiction #fanfic #ellie williams x reader #ellie the last of us #ellie williams x you #ellie x you #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams #ellie tlou

[innytoes]

Leverage Redemption 2.05

-Holy bad photoshop batman

-Proof sports are dangerous.

-Breanna I love you. Showercap of equality indeed.

-Harry you are also a good bean.

-STOP WALKING ON THE LAWN THERE IS A PERFECTLY GOOD STONE PATH ONE STEP TO THE LEFT

-Breanna’s hat is amazing.

-Flying squirrel Parker my beloved

-Okay so Baby Grifter Sophie learned how to take a car hit before she was 11 and Parker was a baby getaway driver at 11 and now I need the AU bb!criminal fic.

-100% was waiting for Parker to be like: yeah they hunt people for sport.

-Okay Eliot that’s a nice speech but you can be not-a-coward/a hero and still keep a running tally of the amount of times you were shot and bitch about it, I feel.

-Did the costume department really go like: let’s give these dudes a nice subtle KKK vibe.

-The rhythms of nature and fellowship of men... is this a gay orgy? Is it????

-Harry gets to be Eliot and his first instinct is to growl I’m dying.

-Okay I forgive the stupid speech now because Harry doing it is amazing (also adorable that he remembered it word for word.)

-Not gonna lie was waiting for frog lady to punch that dude.

-Candlelit beers with his boyfriend aww.

#leverage redemption spoilers #leverage redemption #leverage

[acamaryseinteery]

Meet Rio.

He's a Herpetological shapeshifter - meaning he can out of all animals shapeshift only into lizards and amphibians.

After many months since the wall broke and people began to spread their explorations and supply searches, far in more tropical lands the rumours of brave knights and hero shapeshifter that saved everyone reach to a creature, who would like to meet this shapeshifter to see that he's not alone.

After crawling in a tiny gecko form on one of the supply boxes, he makes it into the city and disguised as a frog he searches for the brave knights who could lead him to the said shapeshifter. And upon hearing who is the bravest of them all, he follows this said Ambrosius and appears in his flat, asking him to take him to their hero.

Once meeting Nimona it's a great shock for everyone that there are more like them and Nimona is all but happy that she isn't alone anymore.

A few things about him:

Pronounce: He/him

Sexuality: Demi romantic ace gay

Lives with Ambrosius who is trying to be a good influence on him, make him feel welcomed and wants to proof him that their kind are more than bunch of judgemental jerks. He also knows that with Nimona he would cause chaos and he doesn't want to let that happen. He also reminds him of little Bal who is happy that his boyfriend wants to try what it's like to be in his skin.

He loves: chips, popcorn, steaks, crickets, noodles and pancakes.

He's terrified of water because in his human form he can't swim and of sharp and pointy objects after his experience with people attacking him and giving him the eye scar. He's also thanks this terrified of needles.

He hates when animals are bullied, loves to scare humans and visit outdoor ponds and forests to reconnect with his natural and freedom offering habitat. Even though seeing an alligator swim around others is scary, being accompanied by shark is even scarier combination. But they make a great fish catchers.

He loves rock'n'roll music and despite everything that Ambrosius is trying to teach him to live by his own rules.

It takes a few weeks, few arrests and some trust building but he manages to feel less threatened and more relaxed around humanity that he takes on more comfortable form inspired by Ambrosius.

Now Nimona can't tease him about being her baby brother and Rio enjoys his more him form.

He likes to visit library to read more about lizards and amphibians and he goes to cinema just to buy a popcorn for a snack without even going to see a movie.

He likes to visit zoo to hang out with his animal pals and to prevent that the animals will be mistreated. He also is very good sprayer but there and there gets caught and is forced to wash it. Ambrosius and Bal's orders unless they proclaim the sprayed wall being an exception.

That's all about Rio, if you have any questions feel free to send an ask, please don't steal him and etc, just classic stuff. 😉

#netflix nimona #nimona 2023 #rio oc #herpetological shapeshifter #nimona oc #ambrosius goldenloin #ballister blackheart #nimona

[sneepsnoopboopideeboop]

@oohloverboyyy tagged me so i thought i’d do this!

Are you named after anyone? nope

When was the last time you cried? January 21, over crimson rivers (i have a video in my camera roll of proof)

do you have kids? no, and i don’t think i’d ever want to tbh.

do you use sarcasm a lot? no, not at all, never, i wouldn’t ever dream of being even a teensy bit sarcastic.

What’s the first thing you notice about people? i dont know, honestly. it depends on the person lol

eye color? brown with darker specks! theyve slowly got greener over the years.

scary movies or happy endings? i prefer sad ending to happy ones, but i hate scary movies with a passion (for a multitude of reasons) so happy ending.

any special talents? I can procrastinate like a god and still get an A 😍

where were you born? california born and raised, in different parts though. i was born in northern cali and moved farther south when we were six, but we still go back up a lot (we own a cabin in the middle of nowhere its great)

hobbies? i read and write (fic mostly lol) i also crochet and can knit a little. i do ballet like 10+ hours a week so that too!

pets? a singular cat, shes like 7 and quite fat, named spyda, though we call her kitty or cat.

which sports do you play? I dance, classical ballet mostly but a little but of contemporary/modern. actually just got accepted to the joffrey ballet school summer intensive and im absolutely going to flex about that. i’d like to do more musical theater but i cannot sing to save my life.

how tall are you? about 5’4”! no clue what that is in centimeters tho 😊

favorite subject? i am entirely a humanities gay not a stem gay 😭. math and science are NOT my thing. Whther english or history is my favorite class depends on the teacher most of the time, but science is my least least least favorite im sorryyy

dream job? i don’t know. i’d honestly love to teach but the pay is ridiculous, so practically its not the best choice.

just gonna tag some mutuals: @starry-and-moony @circebutbetter @angry-little-frog @im-still-tryin-to-find-it @signofthereads @idk-probably-having-a-crisis

[unicornswilleatyourboobies]

12 14 24 26 31 <|:-)

12: Favourite flag(s) visually? the bi flag tbh i love bright colours and that specifc colour palette so much!

14: Favourite animals? the one coming to mind rn is tardigrades like they're just. the actual best imo. call me a basic tumblr bitch but i love frogs and cats as well

24: Favourite LGBT+ canon character? okay so for characters ppl actually know i'd say eric from sex education or charlie from heartstopper. obscure character: akarsha from butterfly soup all the way she's just like me for real.

26: Some characters you headcanon as LGBT+? (k so i headcanon in the 'i like the idea of this' way rather than the 'there's like proof of this' way) all of the atla crew. highkey i read so much zuka fanfic i forget it's not canon sometimes (zuko is gay and trans, sokka is bi and trans). also mai is a lesbian you can't change my mind <3. matt and foggy from daredevil are both queer as well methinks matt's just too catholic to realise <3

31. A trope about your identity that applies to you? i'm incredibly casual about sex and would be down for a threesome which ik is like a negative stereotype surrounding bi people. also liking patterned button ups i have so many and i still need more imo

#thanks!! this was so much fun <|:-) #would love to chat with you more!

[zooterchet]

Famous Relations

Jeffrey Dahmer: Letter to Congress, to serve in the United States Central Intelligence Agency. Given duties of SKI prison bailiff, as reform of prison sodomey and sexual assault, own request.

Ted Bundy: Economist of whaling and portside stations, music and literature attached. Found own sector of economy was being removed, defected to France, against wishes of MI-6; over ninety kills of foreign executives of British Intelligence, due to breed with "Booth" genome, mother's side; father, Chip Charlebois, still manages Bridgewater Triangle Keno; State Police Captain.

Barack Hussein Obama: Executed, electric chair; replaced, John Allen Muhammad, kindergarten CIA counselor, Jewish by miens and translated circuit, "frog"; raised to teach children to use weapons. Still attempting to deduce how inmate, "Chet", "Lee Malvo", continues to connect to internet, after mass e-mail ping in 1996, forcing deportation out of country through print of "The Matrix", self printed as "Neo", "Keanu Reeves".

James Madison: Rumored to be "German", by cousins out of Britain; Olly Olly Oxenfree, applied to man, as British boy, instead of British girl, resulting in crossing of Potomac; Puritan infantry out of Roanoke, still unaccounted for, sensitivity to Ginko Bolaba noted; as secret detective skills, "INTERPOL" organization formed in place; responsible for Great War, in "scientific method" test, to study "gay gene"; non-Talmudic book of law, US Constitution, as crafted by James Madison.

Robert the Bruce: Marijuana dealer to the richest men in Britain, Palestinian Arab in origin, "Ishmael"; arranged marriage, to Jacobin line, supported by blood of Shakespeare, "Booth" family; Booth, William Wallace, beheaded, much to shame of family, after marijuana stocks, released to common Irish of Northern Britain, relabeled "Scottish", "Utopian Society"; marijuana growing public, adding to British Empire's dominance over ale and barley crop, for beers and breads.

Pierre the Coward: Breton Crusader, in service to Frankhart; the defeat of Salah al-Din, through own troops of Arab conscript, having been given mark of Muslim, shaved heads and fast, through crops being burned by identical tactic of Saladin, hence those having found fast now in tithe to Church, the system of luxuries offered found inside of common tax of Europe to support of clergy through mutual payment of injury reported.

Joseph Chillton: Affair with Chinese-Indian woman, of high cast, "Mary", results in a bastard, refusing to serve in military campaigns of construction of roads and civilization in Judea. Military tribunal established, to see whom has themselves admitted to evidence to steal theft and proof of guilt, hence open admission of crime through practice of "Ramadan", placed on multiple days or holidays; actually forbearance with woman, of deliberate sect, preferring her drugged, with marijuana at night, to have sex with her as a victim of sexual assault; any retaining homophobia, as having refused sexual assault, therefore surviving parties, as having retained consumption of alcohol, citrus, and pig. Otherwise, a rapist, to be ignored and commonly mocked, as the Merovingian; refused a career as a police officer, soldier of military, lawyer of courts, criminal adjutator of assistance to government ward, or espionage officer in clandestine control of politician.

Samson the Arab: The prosecutor, and the first on record, having portrayed the love of his wife, as refused, due to her large buttocks, and those men preferring the bosom; thus having seduced to be rumored in arranged marriage, however only by woman, and only by man the rejected oath of poverty; the collapse of the entire Arab Empire, at the love affair, a homosexual androgynous having interfered, with the cult of fetish and domination, having demanded Samson, be on top of a woman, through her offering of her anus, as sodomey; despite the tradition of honeymoon, the woman sitting on the face, as preferable, outside penetration, that for a child; the traditions lost forever, and the Arabs banished, to the Dark, the Vampires; Gypsy, psychics.

[viennaisacity]

look, we all know that Queer Stereotype ™ about the gays and frogs, but the entire meme channel on my school’s GSA discord is only frogs: 

#queer culture #frog! #frog man #love those guys #frogs #I have no choice but to stan #jumpy #wlw #queer #the gays love the frogs: proof

[whysojiminimnida]

To your anon that just sent that message that Nain is 20, the larger issue here is that they (JK solo’s) used something she said when she was STILL a minor to justify JK being interested in her/women. Using the words of a minor is not only problematic but disturbing. And also, why is it only when he interacts with women that we see it as proof of his sexual orientation?.

If people just removed their homophobic glasses for just a second they could see things differently. Like did you know he took Yugyeom on a date?. He went to the JYP dorms, went inside and waited for him and then they both went on a bowling date. But if it had been a woman then people would have automatically confirmed they were dating. Why? Can’t men and women not be friends? Are we still living in archaic times where it’s beyond our comprehension that we can have platonic relationships with the opposite gender?.

Also, can we please stop generalizing queer people on how they present. Just because Jk presents a certain way doesn’t mean that he couldn’t possibly be gay. Rapper Jeon Jungkook once rapped Namjoon’s verse in ddaeng and I think you all should listen to it/read the lyrics “Who do you think you are to approve me, Frogs that living up to their name, to die in a well, I will sincerely pray”. A frog in a well is a story about a frog who thought that their small well was the entire world AKA, you’re narrow minded, and you’ll never grow, never learn, and never see anything past your ignorance because of how small minded you are. Yeah maybe that was harsh, but I’m tired of the homophobia and generalization 😠.

Um PLEASE PAY ATTENTION KIDS @arabellafella IS TALKING and making a lot of sense soooo.... I KEEP TRYING TO POST THIS AND TUMBLR KEEPS SUCKING. It is super annoying and I am so sorry because seriously I'm half scared that in about an hour FOUR OF THIS POST will show up. All with variations on "Arabella is AMAZING" and "y'all pay attention or you will get a devastating chancla to the cabeza this person has good aim okay" and seriously.

gif courtesy arabella of the flying chancleta JUST READ IT. Hey, @arabellafella - Jungkook loves you for this post. As do I.

#my moots are the best moots #they come armed with weaponry and logic #also a whole jeon jungkook exists #the jeon half #aka JeiGay okay #jungkook #why are people even still talking about nain she's great but really #thanks @arabellafella #all this beauty and brains too

[pencilscratchins]

Okay okay okay I'm obsessed with your Zukka headcanons, more please?

okay this one got long lmaOO

— zuko buys sokka many nice things. he says “my boyfriend enjoys nice things...fine silks...jewels...who am i to deny him this?”and suki says “please zuko these are the royal funds—“

— before they know the next avatar is korra, zuko hopes and prays the next avatar is a swamp bender, because he knows if they’re from the north water tribe it’ll be a whole thing and if they’re from the south he’ll literally never stop hearing about it

— in the beginning, zuko has no qualms about courting sokka. he’s the son of an ally country’s leader like yeah classic political marriage like what’s the issue (other than his own stifling awkwardness of course.)

— — sokka has the brain cell so he’s probably hesitant to jump into a relationship. they’re both public figures and gay marriage was just decriminalized— zukos already a contentious leader. not to mention, sokka has dated royalty before and the devotion to duty only lead to heartbreak. 

— — — kataras the one who straightens him out. she is like “we gave our entire childhoods to these countries— don’t let some grandeur of responsibility keep you from the happiness i know you deserve”

— whenever they’re separated for long periods of time, sokka writes these gorgeous, long winded, purple prose letters about how much he loves and misses zuko, and his travels etc that are upwards of 20 pgs

— — zuko responds with “saw a frog today 👍” and sokka chokes up like “he has such a way with words”

— sokka sleeps on the right, zuko on the left

— just being around each other is enough to put them in way better moods. when one of them is gone, both are insufferable to be around.

— sokka goes on a life changing field trip with redemption arc!azula to find the stone for zuko’s engagement necklace and they bond & really connect in a weird way bc like... theyre sorta of the smartest people either of them know

— — meanwhile zuko, toph, and katara go on a life changing field trip for the metal for sokka a royal hairpiece and accidentally create probending 

— sometimes it will get reeeeall quiet and sokka will just lean over and whisper to zuko “you know your great grandfathers were fucking right?”

— zuko obviously has days where he needs to just like escape and not to talk to anyone, so sokka will take the crown in his absence. 

— — he spends those days doing all the shit zuko hates doing so he doesn’t have to

— sokka still struggles with feeling useless sometimes and thought it baffles zuko how he could possibly think that, he immediately will try to rectify it.

— — so zuko will show him the proof of a history textbook he had to approve, and show him every chapter dedicated to everything sokka invented, planned, or lead during the war and after to prove how important sokka is.

— sokka will be writing and when zuko sits really close to him on his right side, hell just switch the brush over to the left to hold his husband’s hand. 

— when korra is first taken in by the white lotus, sokka insists they spend some time down there. zuko tutors her firebending and she loves him, but she’s obsessed with sokka who sneaks her out and teaches her sword fighting. 

— not really a zukka head canon but when zuko first starts sleeping with the group at the air temple, he looks over and sees aang just levitating a few inches off the ground and is like “what the fuck” sokkas like “oh yeah that’s how he sleeps you get used to it”

— when katara finds out sokka helped toph have suyin, she’s like “it’s so touching that you want our families to be forever intertwined and for our children to always be connected!” and tophs like uh totally yeah 

— — nobody tells her the interaction went “sokka be the father it’ll be funny” and sokka said let me ask my husband and zukos went “lmao do it it’ll be so funny”

— izumi ice dodges when she comes to age and crushes it, which makes hakoda and sokka both cry. 

— — when iroh II wants to ice dodge, izumi refuses. she is however not supported by her fathers who are like “you did it! it’s a right of passage, izumi” “dont be a nerd, izumi”

— zuko, being a huge nerd, does indeed have iroh style his hair before their first date and sokka laughs so hard he cries

— sometime straight people will be like “oh the ladies must be sad you two are off the market!” and they will respond “our ex girlfriends are dating each other.”

— their wedding is extremely opulent, as pure sokkas request. zuko would’ve married him in a broom closet.

— zuko calls sokka “socks” and sokka calls him “zuks” 

— sokka is very much that guy who wants to pretend he’s all cool but brings up his boyfriend all the time

— — “ugh it’s so hot i can’t breathe” “oh my boyfriend breathes,”

#hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon #zukka #headcanons #head canons #long post #read more #under the cut #you gusy encourage me too much lmao #i like how i always sneak a few gaang hc in there because i love those idiots smh #ask #not art #1k

[walkuntilthedaylight]

The people have spoken! How can I not give them what they want?

I'm gonna put this all under a cut, since it's a bit long, and also because it's highly interpretative/speculative and not everyone likes those kinds of posts as they can be rather subjective and, I suppose, invasive. I want to give two major caveats to my thoughts below: first is that I tend not to buy the idea that Paul was the "stable/normal" Beatle, mostly b/c I view marijuana dependency and workaholism as addictions and I take them pretty seriously. Second is that I really do love this kind of tabloid/gossip/personal account shit; I think it should be taken with a handful of salt, but I don't think it should be entirely dismissed out of hand either. I read this stuff like I'm piling up sheets of stained glass: I'm intrigued by the places where the colours blend and overlap, and ignore things that fall outside the prism. Anyway, let's dig in:

Okay, so what I found fascinating about 'Body Count' is that it's one of the only sources which observes Paul McCartney's mental health during the period between the India trip and when the band breakup really got rolling. I think it's overall a fairly self-absorbed text that definitely has some lies and exaggerations peppered in there to make things spicier and more dramatic, but its broad characterization - as I mentioned in my first post - isn't exactly libelous or out of left field. Some elements that make me think it's generally if not wholly authentic are: Paul's simultaneously forceful and dorky seduction style, his terrible Liverpool diet and poor housekeeping, the bouts of thrill-seeking recklessness, avoidant adventure crafting, dark moods when drinking non-socially, the occasional hot and cold bouts with the Apple Scuffs camped out at his gate, and the way in which he underplays his drug habit, which is SO "in truthfulness we spent most of the filming of Help! slightly stoned":

These details are so bizarrely specific and have significant overlap with both sympathetic and spurned personal accounts of Paul I've read in the past, so I believe Francie is just telling "Her Version Of The Truth" here rather than crafting a piece of pure fiction. The most important and revealing anecdote in the book is this one.

There's no reason not to believe this is a fairly accurate representation of something that actually happened, imo, since we know that anxious purse strings were an ongoing issue in the unusual turnover rate within the band Wings, and there are plenty of confirmed and rumoured cases alike of extended family members feeling entitled to a "piece of the pie"; this is just like, the kind of thing that happens to working class people who get catapulted into fame and fortune. And Paul in particular already had deep-seated financial anxiety for whatever reasons he'll never fully admit (as is his right, but I think his offhand claim that he "once heard some adults arguing about money and that's why" might actually be alluding to having heard some adults - y'know, like his parents - arguing over money fairly frequently). What esp interests me about the anecdote is the way Paul seems to connect the conflict b/t his dual "identities" with these financial expectations. Perhaps the CAPSLOCK emotional hysteria related in the book is puffed up for drama, but it does bring to mind one of the most revealing comments Linda ever made about their relationship, which is that Paul needed to be told he would still be loved when the cameras weren't rolling. And that's the thing: Francie caught Paul at the exact moment that the pillars of his Smile-For-The-Camera "Beatle" identity were collapsing; the dissolution of his relationships with John and Jane.

Whatever all this could possibly mean re: the breakup of the Lennon-McCartney partnership is a post for another time. What I wanna do instead is apply the level of speculation we usually reserve for that relationship to the endpoint of Paul and Jane's courtship.

So like, Paul and Jane: I know people are resistant to this specific POV, but I honestly just don't... think it was that deep? "Not deep", mind you, doesn't mean "not significant". Paul was obviously Jane's first love (u never forget), but the feeling I get from Paul's side (as a subconscious process I mean) is that Jane's importance was primarily as a lynchpin in his London Socialite persona. He loved her family, he loved the friend group, the artistic scene dating her gave him access to, as well as the leg up he got in the class system, etc. He liked to be the kind of guy who was dating Jane Asher. But I don't know that he was the guy who was dating Jane Asher, you get me? When people describe their "great love" they accidentally tell on them (Cynthia innocently describing Paul as being pleased to have her on his arm like a trophy; John: "it was an ordinary love scene"; Alistair Taylor noting that Paul was humiliated by the breakup). Paul's a serial monogamist who U-Hauls like a lesbian, of course, so he definitely took the relationship VERY seriously, but it's telling that all of his love songs to her were either about hitting a brick wall in arguments (certainly not dreamy, fond, yearning of "sunday morning fights about saturday night"; and occasionally expressing hints of class tension too), or completely non-descript Guy With A Guitar Trying To Get Laid shit. I could extrapolate a lot about Linda just from listening to McCartney I/RAM and the Wings discography, but 'And I Love Her' doesn't tell me a single thing about Jane besides that she's pretty. It could be about literally anyone the same way 'My Love' or 'Maybe I'm Amazed' could only be about his dynamic with Linda. Some of this is obviously the natural result of getting older and gaining emotional maturity; what I'm saying is that Paul's behaviour and self-expression in this relationship does not suggest to me that it was one in which his emotional maturity was able to develop or flourish.

I want to stress again that I don't think this belittles the significance of the relationship or makes it "bad" or "fake". Like, sometimes hot people just date for a while in their teens and twenties and love each other without necessarily unlocking their inner emotional cores, usually because they don't know how to. It's, like, fine. You need to experience relationships like that as stepping stones. I simply believe that this sort of front-facing social importance being prime in the romance is a major factor in why it ultimately didn't work (and probably in Linda's reported lingering jealousy of Jane, who wasn't just an ex, but also a symbol of the life Paul ditched to build a new identity w/ her, and sometimes still pined for). With Jane, Paul was dating the "right" kind of girl (didn't put out on the first date, erudite and middle class, as serious about her career as he was, a good "celebrity" match), but the relationship often wasn't doing what he wanted it to do. Francie's observation is that by 1968 it also wasn't doing what he needed it to do either. This is the overwhelming "mood" in her affair with Paul McCartney: that he needed something very badly from a romantic partner that he just was NOT getting, and Francie couldn't figure out what it was either:

(note that she means "queer" as in "mad", not "gay")

This was an EXTREMELY roundabout way of asking: well, what WAS it that Paul needed a relationship to do for him? And I think this is Francie's big, accidental insight. The most scandalous claim in 'Body Count' is that Paul told Francie that he hit Jane and it "turned her on".

I personally think this is p. absurd absent any real proof to back it up, but like, what is Francie actually saying HE'S saying here? If she's exaggerating or lying, she's trying to make it believable within the psychological parameters laid out, right? It's not an expression of some secret desire to dominate women she's accusing him of, but emotional disturbance and confusion at the idea that the woman he was with might like that sort of forceful, masculine violence more than his softer, feminine side, which he was - yeah, we all know it - deeply insecure about.

Regardless of whether specific details are true or false (and I think there's both in this story, all hyper-magnified to make it, y'know, a ~STORY~), I think what might be true is the emotional undertow of the retelling, that this all taken together is actually representative of the side of Paul McCartney she was exposed to, at a time when his public and private facades had both become unbearable to the point of cracking and the drug-fueled optimism of the Summer of Love was getting scrubbed off of everyone and everything. It's the Paul McCartney who eviscerated frogs because he was worried he was too "soft" for compulsory military service. The Paul who modelled his masculine teen behaviour off John Lennon's fake "Marlon Brando" swagger, but was actually more fond of the velvet "Oscar Wilde" interior.

What's SO FASCINATING about all this to me, is I deeply believe that one of the key factors in what makes The Beatles music so unique and compelling is that both the songwriters experienced psychological strain from the tension b/t their parochial socially-defensive "masculine" pride, and their sensitive "feminine" core, the latter of which they were able to express in the unburdened emotionality of their music. The reason I care about doing these totally unhinged psych analyses is because I do think it reveals something about the underpinnings of the music, as well as the reasons why the band was such a hysteria-inducing phenomenon (the rise of psychology, imo, is almost as important as the rise of industrialization as a defining factor of the modern and postmodern eras; mass psychology can be understood and wielded in precise ways, and The Beatles were one of the first empires built on that). The subconscious drives caused by this tension have been ENDLESSLY picked apart re: John's psyche, but Paul's "mirrored" issues are very under-discussed (mostly b/c he's still alive so people are a little more leery about putting him on the "couch" as a historical figure). 'Body Count', intentionally or not, painted a portrait to me of someone who was drowning in their own ill-fitting celebrity "suit", collapsing under the weight of "Being" "Paul McCartney". A guy who desperately needed some sort of space to be vulnerable without feeling emasculated for doing it. By 1968, there was no one in his life anymore - and maybe there hadn't been for a while, or ever - who was giving him this space.

In other words: the thing he needed to avoid going "stark raving queer and killing himself" was simply someone who would love him 'after the ball'.

EDIT: read the comments for further clarification and discussion! ;)

#/ #// #/// #//// #///// #the beatles #mccharmley #analysis #long post #Talking About Paul The Way I Talk About John lmfao #Taking Tabloid Bullshit Seriously #(if not literally) #*gets out my fake spectacles and jumps into the psychiatry armchair* #idk if i laid out my thoughts v well here but i hope it satisfied all the people who asked #i also tried to warn what genre of post it was for those who hate this kinda thing lol #i feel like i have more to say re: how toxic 'The Beatle' facade got for all of them by this point #and paul and john's mirrored post-india breakdowns #but francie's perspective is specifically on how it felt to be the girl he used to divebomb his relationship with jane asher SO

[pomenixx]

Andrew Minyard Loves Frogs

- so Neil's favorite animal is probably a fox (gee, I wonder why) but what about Andrew?

- i think it’s frogs

- (there’s literally no proof of this in canon but hear me out)

- he can’t really explain why, but he’s always loved frogs

- growing up, he spent a lot of time wandering around parks while trying to stay out of the house

- his favorite thing to do was trying to find frogs in ponds or right after it rained

- in one of his foster homes, he could hear them from out the window sometimes and it helped him to fall asleep

- frog and toad was his favorite book series as a kid after he read it at the library one day

- and of course being Andrew he doesn’t tell anyone this

- he’s trying to open up more with people he trusts (like Bee or Renee) but it feels too special and vulnerable to say out loud

- so for years nobody knows that Andrew is a Frog Gay

- but Neil- Neil can be observant as hell and spends 90% of his time staring at Andrew so he was bound to find out at some point

- it happens like this:

- they’re out driving one night, just the two of them, and the windows are down since it’s nice out

- Andrew hears Frog Noises ™ from a pond nearby and immediately pulls over

- Neil is kind of worried since they’re in the middle of nowhere but he trusts Andrew

- they make their way over to the pond, and Andrew keeps walking slowly until they see a group of frogs

- Andrew and Neil crouch down, watching them

- Neil mostly watches Andrew as Andrew watches the frogs because of course he does

- but it means he sees the way Andrews face lights up as a frog hops onto his sneaker

- he hold perfectly still until it jumps off a couple seconds later, but Neil doesn’t miss the way he has a tiny smile on his face for the first time since he got off the drugs

- ANYWAYS i was originally going somewhere completely different with this but i got distracted

- from then on, Neil buys Andrew all the frog related things he can find

- it starts small but very quickly gets out of hand

- the first thing Neil buys is a dark green hoodie with frog eyes on the hood

- he sees it at the mall one day with Allison and immediately grabs it

- (Allison is just ??? but it’s the only piece of clothing Neil has shown any interest in that day so of course they buy it)

- Andrew finds it on his bed a day later. it’s freshly washed and slightly oversized in a way he’ll never admit is comforting

- he immediately confronts Neil with a “127%” but also pulls it on and wears it for the next 3 days, only reluctantly taking it off to wash it

- from then on, he starts finding frog-related items Neil has left for him to find, especially when he’s having a bad day

- (i’m just picturing Neil with an entire storage unit full of frog stuff to bestow upon Andrew when the time is right lmao)

- his ever-growing collection includes but isn’t limited to:

- a frog bucket hat

- a frog backpack

- an enamel pin with a frog holding a knife (rainylune i love u) and various other frog pins

- a fluffy frog onesie

- frog pajama pants

- a frog beanie

- cute frog mugs

- a frog plushie which he definitely doesn’t end up sleeping with every night kevin what the fuck are you talking about

- a frog raincoat and children’s frog rain boots (Andrew hates them. he hates that they fit, he hates that they’re not black, he hates how goddamn cute they are. he wears them anyways, every time it rains)

- a frog-themed cake for his birthday which confuses the other foxes greatly but makes Andrew’s eyes all warm and soft when he looks at Neil

- Andrew is a bit overwhelmed by it at first- occasionally his foster families would buy him new clothes if he needed them and “the monsters” gave him gifts on his birthdays, but nobody had ever really given him things just to make him happy

- he hates that he doesn’t hate it

#the foxes #jostyard #twinyards #all for the game #aftg #andrew x neil #andreil #frogs #andrew minyard #neil josten #i wrote it wow #do i make a fic version now? #andrew loves frogs #fight me

[gunpowderdtim]

One of those guess the mechs posts

Featuring the lovely @frog-man-says-gay-rights​

and his weird magic ablities to get eerily close to reality.

EDIT: the toy soldier vanished??????????? I have the image description as proof it was here????? Regardless its back now

[Image Id:

The first image is a photo of gunpowder tim. He is a white man with long, brown hair, goggles on his forehead, and black marks around his eyes. He's holding a guitar, with bright lights behind him giving him a red glow and a flash that gives him red eyeshine. There are screenshots of discord dms reading: "Dave, mildly feral. maybe the brains of the operation?" and "bro what did the moon do to you?"

The second image is of Jonny D'ville. Jonny is a white man with with mid-length blond hair. He is screaming into a microphone. There are screenshots of discord dms reading: Ryan. i dont wanna say peak feral in case i meet someone more feral but definitely feral. has 1-3 brain cells. murdered a man in 2002 but it does not haunt him bc he does not remember. and hey isnt that the guy that writes the magnus archives.

The third image is of Drumbot Brian. Drumbot Brian is a white man wearing golden metaliic facepaint to simulate metal, with drawn on silver streaks to dictate where the metal plates end. Brian has curly orange hair, a beard, and a hat with goggles on it. He is smiling. There are screenshots of discord dms over him, they read. (over the hat) “oh thats a kickass hat” and “Brian, or Ben. cant decide but it definitely starts with a B. a little bit feral but only bc he hangs out with those other two, like a feral sponge. definately the brains of the operation. gives off Sciencey vibes, he seems smart. 5-10 brain cells.” and “ could also be a William “

The forth image is of Raphaella La Cognizi. She is a blond  white woman bathed in blue light.She is wearing a red dress and has metal wings with blue fairy lights strung on them. She is holding a microphone. There are dicord dms. They read “pretty!!“ and “Janet? or Jane. she gives off UwU flower crown vibes but she could probs kick my ass in a fight. i cant tell how feral she is, id give it a 7/10 on the feral scale. 3-6 brain cells“

The fifth image is of Ivy Alexandria. Ivy is a white person with short dyed red hair shaved along the sides. She stares directly into the camera, ominously. She sits on a playground, and is holding a yellow book. The Discord dms read “looks kinda like Poison Ivy from the DC universe so I'll call her Ivy. i honestly could not guess a name for the life of me. very feral. once fought a 12 year old over a granola bar. will absolutely do it again. maybe 2 brain cells on a good day” and “she looks like she'd kill me over a dirty look, i want to befriend her”

The sixth image is of Nastya Rasputina. Nastya is white and has brown, shoulder-legnth hair. She wears a blue coat and has a wrench at her side, and has glasses. The discord dms read “Anna, or something that can be shortened to Anna. can and will kill me. not very feral,, but just enough to make your day slightly more difficult. the number of brain cells fluctuates” and “oh thats a kickass name”

The seventh image is of Ashes O’Riley. They are a black person and wear a fedora with a red ribbon around the bace. They also wear a suit, and are wearing red feather earrings.They have a grey tie. The discord dms read “a very cool person with a very enby name, like Gunpowder or Smoke or smth. i love them with my entire soul. they want to go home, but will kick ass in order to. Smart, but also a dumbass” and “arson baby” in all capital letters.

The eighth image is of Marius Von Raum. He is a brown person wearing a green coat, with red cuffs, a mon-goggle. He had a beard and a metal arm. He is kneeling on the ground and smiling at the camera. The discord dms read "very feral. possibly peak feral. if you hadnt told me which one of them had blown up the moon id guess it was this fucker. absolutely chaotic. but also loving. no thoughts head empty heart full" and "oh I didn't guess a name. Hm. Alex."

The ninth image is of the toy soldier. Its a white person with an army hat, and a red and black suit coat with a black bowtie, a military uniform. It is holding a mandolin and standing in front of a microphone. There are screenshots of discord dms reading "doesnt have a name and is referred to with "that one" and "hey you" exclusively. little feral, but mostly babey vibes. very dumb, but trying their best" and "awww baby" and "I love it."

The tenth image is of Doctor Carmilla. She is an asian woman with short hair and a stripey shirt.She holds a stringed instrument, I think its a ukulele. The discord dms read “what a cool looking person” and “ he wants a hug but doesnt know how to ask for it so instead she pushes people away and is Aggressive. Marilyn. “ End id.]

#the mechanisms #@sam #my post

[tiptapricot]

Hey there! Would you happen to have any headcanons for Sam Emerson and/or the Frog Brothers?

I do have some for Sam, yea! I don’t have any for the frog bros though, just cause I don’t rlly vibe w them as much

Lucy helps trim and re-bleach his hair whenever it grows out too much

He can’t come up with good insults to save his life, and makes people laugh more often than not if he tries to

He blushes easily and flushes all splotchy from his chest up to his ears

He loves bubblegum but hates bubblegum as a flavor, so he only buys variants. His favorites are orange and watermelon

Homophobia and a brief mention of drugs and alcohol under cut

When he turns seventeen ABBA’s Dancing Queen is playing nonstop the whole day. He’s just dancing around singing along to the words the whole time, pulling Michael and Lucy over to join him. He gets Michael to reluctantly get into it, and they start seeing who can sing the loudest

As seen in canon he sings in the bath/shower, but the thing is, he doesn’t realize that people can hear him when he does it. He’s just totally, blissfully, unaware that the bathroom isn’t sound proof

He really likes reading elementary-MS level novels, just because they’re fun and easy and in high supply. Think Boxcar Children, Nancy Drew, Bailey School Kids , etc., that kind of vibe

He chews on his pencils

He actually really enjoys school, and he gets pretty good grades too

He’s kind of a goody two shoes (affectionate) and feels uncomfortable breaking rules most of the time

He always makes friends with the librarians and lunch people at school, and a handful of teachers too. They all think he’s a gem (because he is😌)

He’s pretty self conscious when it comes to his orientation, and how people treat him for it. He’s been called every insult under the sun by the time he reaches high school, and has learned to laugh it off and just say he has a different fashion sense than most people, before busting out some classic “guy” knowledge that “proves” that he’s straight

It seems to work well enough

He’s really just trying to convince himself, when it comes down to it, and does such a good job that he actually starts to believe that after awhile

He has kind of a breakdown/forced realization one night while he’s laying in bed, like it just hits him yknow? It clicks into place that, oh... I actually am gay, huh?

He’s kind of conflicted about it for awhile, because he’s been making excuses and denying things for so long that it can’t be true, right?

It gets to the point that he’s practically bursting at the seams, not really sure what to do and feeling worse and worse about it by the day. One night he just trudges into Michael’s room and flops down face first on the bed, and when Michael asks him what’s wrong, he kinda reaches up to squeeze the blankets a bit, takes a deep breath, and mumbles, “I’m gay.”

He’s still laying face down, so when Michael doesn’t respond at first, his anxiety ratchets up to ninety and he just starts crying into the comforter

Michael’s hand is on his back immediately and he’s curling up next to him to pull him into a hug, and Sam just presses his face against his brother’s chest and cries harder

Michael tells him that that’s ok, that Sam is ok, and that he loves him so so much and always will

When Michael comes out himself a month or so later, Sammy’s just elated (Lucy is of course supportive of both of them)

His favorite sodas are Pepsi and Fanta

He doesn’t know how drugs work, he’d say “I know how to do a weed” to try and impress people, and he’s never touched alcohol in his life (and still doesn’t really when he’s older)

He tries to teach himself how to moonwalk once and ends up tripping and banging his head on his bedside table. It leaves a scar right above his right eyebrow

He picked up swearing in middle school and thought it made him the coolest fucking guy at the time

He hates black tea and coffee, they give him a headache and he hates the flavor

He collects cheap plastic rings from mall games and cereal boxes

His favorite color is magenta

He’s really bad at flirting but also does it a lot accidentally just because he’s a generally nice guy

He doesn’t like wearing hats

He has VERY strong opinions on music that no one else in his family fully understands, but they listen anyway (he likes to explain things w very emphatic movements)

He sunburns easily

He always falls for pranks and when ppl fuck with him, which led to him only finding out that bell peppers are in fact not the spiciest pepper when Lucy mentioned they were in dinner one time

(Michael told him that when he was younger to seem cool and keep Sammy out of the snack drawer)

To get revenge, he tells Michael the steampunk era was a real historical era, and that he “learned it in history last year, you really gotta pay more attention in class Mike”

He sticks his tongue out when focusing

He screams the first time Micahel takes him on a ride on his bike and refuses to ride on one ever again

He really likes the smell of the dishwasher right after it’s done, and of fresh laundry

He doesn’t know how to swim

Michael is his favorite person in the whole world, and he’ll tell anyone willing to listen just how cool he is. He’s probably embellished some stories over the years, but no one has to know Michael didn’t actually fight off three ninjas when he stood up to Sam’s bullies in third grade

Headcanons masterpost

#sam emerson #tlb #the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #the fruit is answering again #the fruit is headcanoning again

[ksbwnotes]

Chapter 8, Part 3

*leaning back in chair from exhaustion* my brain needs to learn how to shut up sometimes.

1. *tilts head to the side* Hmn.

Not that Sangwoo is intentionally lying here, I think he genuinely feels this is the best answer he can come up with. Because it’s better to covet nothing and be given nothing, then covet something only to be given nothing. 

There was this Thor thing before, with his sister Angela, belonging to a race of angels (and i loooooove their rendition of angels because anything that subverts the original, purer narrative is my jam and butter): “Nothing for nothing.”  The Angels in that comic will only do things if they are given payment in exchange for doing so. Odin is considered “The King of Nothing” because he once expected them to do the right thing (saving humans, I think?) just for the sake of it, rather than for material gain. This was an insult to the Angels, pretty much equating this to Odin seeing them as worthless. Thus, if you give nothing, you get nothing.

Sangwoo grew up having to deal with “Nothing for something”. As in, he puts his mom as priority and, in exchange, his mom abuses him.  He behaves himself as much as he can, and in the end, his dad abuses him. He emulates an upstanding citizen to others and, because of that, they love him only for the mask he puts on, deterred from him the moment there is a crack--and this was something that went on looong before he became a sociopath. He is expected to give and give, but get nothing in return.

So now, Sangwoo’s actions are pretty much begging “Something for nothing”.  He wants to be given love and respect even though he knows that he has done nothing to deserve it. Because this hurts less. At least, here, it’s more of a self-fulfilling prophecy rather than the world kicking him while he’s down just because it wants to. At least, this way, Sangwoo can kick back and fool himself into thinking that every kick doesn’t destroy more and more pieces of himself.

2. Extension of prior panel and theory

Right now, Bum is the only one who has given him “something”. Even if it ends up being “nothing”, there is “something” to accompany that oblivion. This, in a way, is a reflection of the Lima syndrome Sangwoo is experiencing while Bum is experiencing Stockholm at the same time (though, he experienced the beginnings of it much earlier than Sangwoo). 

For Bum, Sangwoo will treat him kindly, but then do shit like...throw him against a car. Threaten to cut him up. Hang him by a pulley. All that jazz. But then, later on, Sangwoo will treat him nicely again and intersperse the abuse with little rewards he dangles in front of Bum like a master training their dog with snacks. 

For Sangwoo, Bum will give him a sense of humanity that Sangwoo probably hasn’t felt in...like 4 years. But obviously, Bum won’t be able to commit to this because Sangwoo is his abuser, so the times Bum treats him lovingly is an extension of his response to Sangwoo’s abuse. Like a frog that will end up staying in the boiling pot that will then be cooked alive then given as sustenance to its slaughterer. 

Sangwoo doesn’t know how healthy relationships work, that it’s not “nothing for nothing” or any of it’s variations, but actually “something for something”. All relationships are meant to be an equal give and take, but that requires work and being able to work through pain in a positive way, instead of falling straight into despair. 

So, Sangwoo is trapping both himself and Bum in a cyclical relationship where Bum gives him “something for nothing” and Sangwoo is now in the position of power that his parents put him in--the “nothing for something” position. Eventually though, we’ll see Sangwoo gradually try to give Bum “something” for his efforts, only to realize just how empty he is afterwards. That giving Bum “something” back only makes him feel like he’s still “nothing”. 

3. Wait, how did he kill CEO Daughter girl...

I looked back and saw the blood on her forehead, so maybe he used the sledgehammer that he hit Bum’s leg with to hit her on the temple or something. Because we don’t see a cut beneath her chin or something. So, again, the ones he loses attachment for just die, but people like Bum...they receive a lot more cuts and bruises I think. More evidence of how much he is trying to make them hate him, proving to him that they were lying when they said they loved him. 

4. Seeing it this way...

...I think this is more proof of how much Bum has proved the impossible. He has lived so much longer than what should be expected for any of his prey. Again, Sangwoo does not consciously go in planning to kill his victims, but his subconscious is preparing him for it and he knows the drill. It may not be planned, but Sangwoo still expects it. So the fact that Bum is still alive goes against all of Sangwoo’s expectations.

Subconsciously, now, he goes in preparing to keep Bum alive. That cut underneath the chin was probably how Sangwoo killed past victims, the ones who got the closest before Bum arrived. That is probably how he ended them. He slit deep into their throat before they could tighten their grip around his neck.

But Bum has surpassed them, so Sangwoo is giving Bum that scar as a warning to stop what he’s doing so that he doesn’t feel the need to kill Bum. 

Because, now, he’s scared of the regret that will follow once he kills Bum. He’s more scared of the consequence of losing Bum than the consequence of letting Bum further into his life (because, right now, Sangwoo has hope for the future with Bum in it).

5. Ooooh I love the comparison of everyday life and food to Sangwoo’s slicing and dicing of Bum

This shows just how much Sangwoo’s alive can no longer be normal. 

Like...he can look at that sliced meat and imagine all the bodies he has sliced open. How are you supposed to continue with daily life after having experienced what he has? Then, furthermore, after doing what he has? 

It drives further home to Sangwoo that he is ostracized from humanity as a whole. That no one in this planet can accept him (actually, there’ll be plenty of people who can, but the thing is, that’s not the kind of acceptance Sangwoo wants, or else Bum would’ve been enough for him/he would’ve had a much easier time of finding a fellow sociopath--I do think Sangwoo being a sociopath, not a psychopath, something to do with it, since he’s using killing as a coping mechanism rather than a response/release).

That, in the end, he is only furthering how he will end up dying alone and dying painfully.

6. Heyyyy, Jieun, that you??

Lol, if that is, then I love how Bum in the next panel drives home their every closer intertwining fates and that she is soon to be dead.

Also, where...is Sangwoo bringing her??  Even with how obedient Bum is, I don’t think Sangwoo would risk bringing her to his house unless she’s going to the basement with Bum...which, again, I don’t think he’d do lol. So...love hotel???

Whether or not that is Jieun, I think this also serves as a representation of Sangwoo questioning his sexuality because he is now genuinely thinking of being with Bum. And Bum is a guy, so does that mean he’s gAyyY?

Also one thing to point out, which probably doesn’t mean anything but still miiiight...here we see Jieun’s blissed out face, which is similar to Sangwoo’s o-face in earlier panels. However, Sangwoo’s face is obscured and we don’t see anything. This could suggest that he doesn’t actually feel that great doing Jieun, showing how he’s unable to have normal sexual relations due to...yeah. 

7. AND NOW, SANGWOO IS AT A FUCKING GAY BAR *WHEEZE*

Ahhh, Bum. The things you somehow make Sangwoo end up doing. It’s applaud worthy, now that I think about it. Sangwoo obviously, from the beginning of this, wasn’t completely straight. But he’s also not gay either. I personally think, with sexuality being a spectrum rather than a conglomeration of separate categories, being with a guy shouldn’t automatically make something homosexual. If anything, Sangwoo is on the bi or demi spectrum, but he’s feminine-inclined.

But the fact that Sangwoo wants to actually see whether or not he’s gay. x’D  Because, if that’s the case, then that means he can widen his prey circle beyond women and see if he can find someone who can accept him amongst the male population as well. 

So, I think this experience will show Sangwoo that Bum is...special. Like. To a point that it’s ridiculous for him because it’s like his sexuality is this vague hetero-excluding-Bum-sexual. Which will drive home even more for Sangwoo that, for as long as he still thinks a normal life is possible, he needs Bum to stay with him.

8. ....But...why this guy???

Of all the people for you to choose, Sangwoo, what happened. xD You could literally pick up ANYONE ELSE--look at that slender blue-haired guy in the last panel--and this is the one you end up going for????  

No, seriously, what. What even. 

Oh wait. Criteria. Criteria. Right. Sangwoo has to be careful about who he chooses. If he chooses a worker there and they end up dead, then that can lead back to Sangwoo way too easily. 

He doesn’t go in planning to kill the one he hooks up with, but obviously, he has to prepare for that just in case. Because he knows that they could trigger him at any point in time, so no matter what, his prey has to fit a very very narrow criteria. 

Which makes me think of that CEO daughter girl. I don’t think she can be someone whose father lives there in Korea. The daughter probably just decided to go their as a tourist and Sangwoo picked her up in a bar or club or some other tourist hot spot. That will make things very difficult to find him because it will take a while for her to be realized that she’s missing and by that time, it’ll be too late to track things back to him.  This shows how much he pays attention to his surroundings at any given time, because Sangwoo probably thinks of every little detail to make sure that, even if police do go to that area, he made sure little to no attention would be called to him. 

So this actually don’t really help much in convincing Sangwoo to explore his sexuality lol. Gay people have preferences too, they’re not just gonna go after any gay person. And he already has this oral trauma, so. Even less points to being gay lol. 

Anyways, I can barely think at this point, I should just end it here...

9. ALMOOOOST. DOOOONE.

Lol I have a feeling that Sangwoo is pissed at Bum because if it wasn’t for Bum, Sangwoo would’ve never gone to that gay bar and experienced the disgusting feeling of blowing another man. 

Because, actually, Sangwoo might have done it. Just so he can convince that guy to go home with him so that he can kill that guy. Which...would just make Sangwoo even all the more pissy. xD

Actually, one thing to note...I think Sungbae later goes to that same gay bar??  To get information or something??  And one of the workers actually gives vague information that point Sangwoo having been there and doing something. Which would be unusually sloppy of Sangwoo. And that’s only because Sangwoo was there due to Bum’s influence--in an entirely new situation that he was uncomfortable with and unable to properly exercise his usual precautions. 

This is a distant call to how, later on, Sangwoo makes more and more mistakes, sloppier than the last, because of how desperately he tries to integrate Bum into his life. 

#chapter 8 #volume 1 #ugggghhhhhhh finallllyyyyyy

[heartofether]

Episode 7 - Liar TRANSCRIPT

[You can listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts, or go to our “Listen” page if you’re on desktop.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Please state your message.

[THEME MUSIC AND INTRODUCTION PLAYS.]

VAL

Three-Eyed Frog Presents: The Heart of Ether.

[THEME CONTINUES BEFORE COMING TO A STOP.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. IRENE’S ROOM.]

IRENE

I’m backing up the recordings onto my laptop. It’s tedious, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. I mean, even if I don’t use them, they have sentimental value, I guess. Plus, at least one of them has proof of the creature I ran into.

[SHE SCOFFS.] “Folk.” The hell kind of a name is that? Actually, no, it’s hardly even a name at all. I’m not even sure if what I saw was a Forest Folk, or if the Folk are something else entirely. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. The book Phoebe lent to me honestly gave me more questions than answers. 

[A PAUSE, THEN, WARILY] It does imply that there are more types of monsters in this world—more things like the Folk, but not exactly.

I don’t want to think too hard about it.

[SHE HUFFS A SIGH.] You know, maybe, just maybe, if Dorothy Wood hadn’t been so cryptic, we would have tangible answers. Until we figure out what the hell she’s saying, though, it’s as good as a dead end. 

[THERE’S A COUPLE CLICKS OF A COMPUTER MOUSE AS IRENE SORTS THROUGH HER FILES.]

IRENE

It’s kind of nice to go through old recordings like this. I don’t even remember what most of these are about.

Like this one, for example. It’s one of the earliest ones. I think it’s about—Actually, I don’t remember. Let’s see…

[THERE’S A CLICK OF A MOUSE, FOLLOWED BY A BEEP.]

[INT. DR. MICHAEL’S OFFICE, FOUR YEARS PRIOR.]

DR. MICHAELS

Is it on?

[IRENE SOUNDS SLIGHTLY YOUNGER HERE, WITH MORE ANGST CLINGING TO HER VOICE.] 

[PAST] IRENE

[SLIGHTLY FRUSTRATED] Yes, it’s on.

Isn’t there something about recording therapy sessions? Is this, I don’t know, illegal?

DR. MICHAELS

Ah, the rules are different if I’m the one recording. Technically, I can choose whether or not I allow you to record, but you can do whatever you wish with the recording afterwards.

IRENE

Right…

DR. MICHAELS

Whenever you’re ready, Irene. Talk to Rose like you usually do.

[THERE’S A LONG PAUSE.]

IRENE

Well, it’s weird doing it when there’s someone watching.

DR. MICHAELS

[THEY LAUGH.] We don’t have to do this if you’re not comfortable. I just want to see what you do when you record like this, since it seems to be helping you a lot.

IRENE

I’m fine doing it, just…give me a second.

[SHE TAKES A DEEP BREATH.]

IRENE

[TO THE PHONE] Hello, Rose. I hope you’re having a good day…wherever you ended up. I don’t know where that is exactly. Still, no matter where it is, I hope you’re happy there.

I’m still thinking about you constantly. Maybe, if I think hard enough, my thoughts will get through, and you’ll hear me. I miss you. Always do.

[THERE’S A LONG PAUSE.]

IRENE

[CONFUSED, TO DR. MICHAELS] What? You’re staring at me.

DR. MICHAELS

You know you don’t just have to talk about how she’s gone, right?

IRENE

[SLOWLY] What do you mean?

DR. MICHAELS

I’m sure that if Rose was with us, she would love to hear about how you’re doing.

IRENE

…oh. Okay. Sure. Um…

[SHE CLEARS HER THROAT AND DIRECTS HER TALK TO THE RECORDING AGAIN.] I’m going to move into my dorm in about a month. Still going to University of Washington, like I planned.

As of right now, I’m still set to be an English major, but I don’t know if I’ll see it through to the end. Lots of people change their major partway through—or so I’ve heard. 

Your Aunt Ella came by to visit today, by the way. She brought me some tupperware to use when I’m in college.

DR. MICHAELS

[WARMLY] Rose’s aunts sound nice.

IRENE

[TO DR. MICHAELS] They are. Lucy is cool, too, but she had to watch their son, so she wasn’t there. Rose was supposed to move in with them when she went to New York for college.

DR. MICHAELS

So you’ve told me. You’re still staying in touch with the two of them, though?

IRENE

Well, yeah. I mean, they’re the only people I have left who are connected to Rose besides her mom, who I would rather not speak to.

DR. MICHAELS

Mm. I see. Are you looking forward to college, Irene?

IRENE

[HESITANT] I think so. Maybe. It will definitely give me something to do, if nothing else. Well, that and lots of debt, but that’s neither here nor there.

DR. MICHAELS

Maybe it could help you take your mind off of Rose.

[IRENE SUDDENLY BECOMES UPSET, ALMOST ANGRY.]

IRENE

I—I don’t want to stop thinking about Rose. Okay? I don’t want to just move on with my life as if she was just a bad ex. She—she was such a big part of my future, and now I probably have to live through that future without her there.

[SNAPPING] Do you expect me to just be able to forget about her when I go to college? Because sometimes, it really seems like you’re just trying to make me—

DR. MICHAELS

[OVERLAPPING] Irene. Calm down. Take some deep breaths.

[IRENE STOPS TO TAKE A FEW SHAKY BREATHS.]

DR. MICHAELS

[CONT.] I don’t want you to forget about Rose. I’ve said that before. No matter what you do, I believe she is going to follow you everywhere you go for the rest of your life. That’s okay.

What I want to do is get you to a place where the thought of her isn’t weighing you down. You can still have a happy and fulfilling future, even without her there.

IRENE

[SHE HUFFS A SIGH, THEN, DISTANT] Yeah. Yeah, I guess you’re right.

DR. MICHAELS

It’s okay to take all the time you need to mourn. Just make sure it’s not preventing you from living your own life.

IRENE

[COLD] Sure. 

I’m going to turn this off now.

DR. MICHAELS

Understood. Any last words you’d like to say to her?

IRENE

[SHE PAUSES, THEN, HEARTFELT] I love you, Rose. So much.

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

[INT. PRESENT DAY IRENE’S HOUSE.]

IRENE 

[ATTEMPTING TO SOUND UPBEAT, BUT A BIT SHAKEN] …um, kind of a rough one, but you get the idea.

Damn, I used to be so angry all the time. I guess it’s one of the five stages of grief, so it makes sense? A lot of my first recordings were mostly me screaming and crying, if I’m being honest.

[THERE IS A BRIEF STATIC NOISE.]

IRENE

[FRUSTRATED, ALMOST DESPARATE] Oh come on, please don’t crash on me, not now—

[HER AUDIO IS CUT OFF BY MORE STATIC. THIS DOES NOT SEEM TO BE COMING FROM IRENE. THE GLITCHING NOISES RISE FOR A FEW SECONDS BEFORE ABRUPTLY ENDING WITH A CLICKING NOISE.]

MYSTERIOUS VOICE 1

[AN UPSET VOICE] I am not a liar!

[MORE STATIC. ANOTHER CLICKING NOISE.]

MYSTERIOUS VOICE 2

[A SLIGHTLY DEEPER, APATHETIC VOICE] I just saved your life.

[THE SOUND BREAKS UP FOR A BRIEF MOMENT.]

MYSTERIOUS VOICE 1

I would never lie to—

[THEY ARE CUT OFF BY THE RISING STATIC. THE STATIC GLITCHES ON AND OFF FOR A SECOND BEFORE BEING ABRUPTLY CUT OFF BY A BIZAARE LOW CREAKING NOISE. THE GLITCHES STOP ENTIRELY.]

IRENE

[CONFUSED, BUT AS ALWAYS, SHE’S CHOOSING TO IGNORE HER PROBLEMS AND PRETEND THIS IS FINE] …okay. I guess it’s fixed. That was weird. The screen just kind of bugged out for a bit. Huh.

Let’s keep scrolling, shall we? Let’s see...

[SHE PAUSES, THEN, CONFUSED] Wh—I don’t remember this one. It’s from…[TAKEN ABACK] it’s from before it happened.

Did I ever record anything before the incident? [SLOWLY] I guess I did.

Guess there’s nothing else to do but play it.

[A CLICK, THEN A BEEP.]

[INT. IRENE’S CHILDHOOD BEDROOM, FOUR YEARS PRIOR.]

[IRENE AND ROSE ARE BOTH LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY.]

[PAST] IRENE

[THROUGH LAUGHTER] Okay, okay, I’m recording this—

ROSE

Oh my gosh, are you serious?

IRENE

I just want it on record that you, Rosemary Quinn—

ROSE

[PLAYFYL] Stop!

IRENE

—have read all of the Twilight books all the way through.

ROSE

Okay, can I— [SHE’S BRIEFLY CUT OFF BY HER LAUGHING.]

Can I explain myself?

IRENE

[OVERDRAMATIC] Oh, by all means, go ahead!

ROSE

[SHE LAUGHS.] It’s just, I was at my aunts’ over the summer, like, freshman year, and there was nothing to do. I mean, absolutely nothing.

IRENE

Surely, you had something better than those god-awful books.

ROSE

I wish I had! I wouldn’t have done it if I had literally anything else.

IRENE

[TRYING TO BE SERIOUS] But you finished all of them, front to back.

ROSE

Yes.

IRENE

And how were they?

[A PAUSE.]

ROSE

They were fine.

[THEY BOTH START LAUGHING AGAIN.]

ROSE

Don’t get me the wrong, don’t get me wrong, the writing was questionable at best, but if nothing else, they were entertaining.

IRENE

Mmhm, sure. Did you side with Edward or Jacob?

ROSE

Actually, I hated both of them. My favorite character was Alice.

IRENE

Ah. She’s the one everyone thinks is gay, right? That checks out.

ROSE

[GIGGLING] Shut up.

IRENE

Not a chance. I swear, I’m never letting you live this down.

ROSE

[TEASING, OVERDRAMATIC] Seriously? But I never told anyone which anime character you had a crush on in middle school.

IRENE

[EXASPERATED] That’s forbidden knowledge, Rose. God, don’t even utter the name.

[THEIR LAUGHTER DIES OUT, AND THEY BOTH SIGH HAPPILY. THERE’S A MOMENT OF SILENCE.]

ROSE

[QUIETLY] We should get married.

[A BEAT.]

IRENE

What?

ROSE

[DREAMILY, SWEET] Whether it’s right after we turn eighteen, or if we decide to wait until after college, either is fine. We should, though. We’ve already been dating for two years, and I can’t see myself ever loving anyone else.

IRENE

I— [STUTTERING] Um, I mean, uh—

ROSE

[DISAPPOINTED] Do you not want to?

IRENE

[RUSHED] No! No, it’s not that, it’s just.

[FLUSTERED] We haven’t even graduated yet. Aren’t we a bit, I don’t know, young?

ROSE

We’re practically adults, aren’t we? I’m turning eighteen this month. 

IRENE

I know, I know, and I turn eighteen right after that. It’s just… [SHE TRAILS OFF.]

ROSE

Then why can’t we?

[HER VOICE BECOMES SLIGHTLY PANICKED.] Are you going to break up with me?

IRENE

No, no, no! No, I’m not, I promise. I love you more than anyone or anything, Rose—really, I do.

ROSE

[QUIETLY] I love you, too, dear.

IRENE

[CONT.] I just don’t want to rush into a wedding and then have—I don’t know, financial issues down the line or something. It just seems way too soon to be thinking about that stuff. It has nothing to do with how much I love you, though.

ROSE

Oh. Alright.

IRENE

[SOFTLY] It’s not a no, though. Just a not yet.

ROSE

You’ll think about it, though? 

IRENE

[HESITANT, BUT GENUINE] I will.

Come here.

[THERE’S FABRIC RUSTLING AS THEY SHIFT TO HOLD EACH OTHER.]

ROSE

I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.

IRENE

It’s okay. I love you.

ROSE

[MUMBLED] Love you, too.

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

[INT. PRESENT DAY IRENE’S HOUSE.]

[THERE’S A PAUSE.]

IRENE

[SOFTLY, ALMOST ASTOUNDED] When was the last time I heard your voice, Rose? It had to have been years, right?

[DREADFUL] Oh, god. All this time, I thought I knew your voice perfectly. I was wrong, though. It’s different than I remembered. 

[ANOTHER PAUSE.]

IRENE

[CONFUSED] Another new file just loaded. It’s a voicemail, though. It’s—are voicemails even backed up this far back? I could have sworn I cleared out my inbox ages ago.

It’s from a month before you left, though.

[A CLICK, THEN A BEEP.]

[EXT. ROSE’S ROOF AT NIGHT, FOUR YEARS PRIOR. THERE IS THE SOUND OF WIND IN THE BACKGROUND.]

ROSE

Hello, dear. I’m sorry to call you so late. I know you’re likely asleep by now, and if you are, then you deserve your rest. Today was a pretty eventful day, after all. 

I guess that’s part of why I called. [SINCERE, SWEETLY] Thank you for today. It was the best birthday I could have asked for.

[HER VOICES DROPS IN TONE.] Except for when I got home, and my mom scolded me because apparently, not only did I violate my non-existent curfew, but I forgot to clean up my art supplies before I left. [SHE SOUNDS MILDLY UPSET, BUT UNSURPRISED.]

It’s been a while since I’ve seen her get so mad, she got red in the face. It’s a familiar sight, though, with familiar hollow threats.

[SHE SIGHS.] You know how it is. 

[A BRIEF PAUSE.]

ROSE

I’m a bit better now. I think she’s finally gone to bed. I’m sitting on my roof again, looking at the stars. There aren’t many so close to the city. If I had a quarter for every time I wished on a helicopter, I might have enough money to leave, once and for all.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Some days, I’m inches away from packing a suitcase and running away. [DREAMILY] It’s such a romantic concept, I think. Driving off into the horizon with only one bag, blasting music, knowing that the chains that have held you for so long have finally fallen away. 

I know it’s not that simple, and I promised my aunts I would go to school in New York, but it’s still a tempting offer. [GROWING IN EXCITEMENT] I mean, I’ve been saving up birthday money since I was a kid, and I know it was supposed to go to college, but I’m still the one with access to it. I could do whatever I want. 

If I do run away, you’re invited to come with me. You’re the first person I’d tell. [SINCERE] Of course you are.

[TEASING] Maybe we could get married, then, too.

[SHE PAUSES, STRUGGLING FOR WORDS FOR A BRIEF MOMENT.]

ROSE

[STIFLED] I’m sorry. I wouldn’t pressure you to do it. I’ve just been thinking about it a lot. Just imagine, the two of us versus the world. I wouldn’t mind. After all, you’re really the only person I need.

Think about it, maybe? Goodbye, dearest. I love you.

[PHONE BEEP.]

[VOICEMAIL ENDS.]

[INT. PRESENT DAY IRENE’S HOUSE.]

[THERE’S A LONG PAUSE.]

IRENE

[GRIM] Do you remember your eighteenth birthday?

I picked you up, and we got ice cream. Sat on the swings in the park together while I had mint chocolate chip, and you had cherry. It melted down your hand, and dripped all over your skirt, and you, you just laughed.

I don’t like thinking about that day. It just reminds me of all of the things that didn’t happen.

There’s another voicemail here. It’s from the day after the last one. 

[A CLICK, THEN A BEEP.]

[INT. IRENE’S CHILDHOOD BEDROOM, FOUR YEARS PRIOR.]

[PAST] IRENE

Hey, Rose. Sorry, I just woke up. I got your message. I wish I could have answered sooner, but if you want to talk about what happened with your mom, you can always text me.

[A BEAT, THEN, FURIOUS] Nothing is good enough for her, is it? You work so hard to do well your entire high school career. Yet, here she is, saying that you’re lazy because you—what, forgot to clean up your paint?

[VENTING] And when she does care to acknowledge your achievements, she’s not actually proud of you, god forbid. No, she thinks that you’re just trying to make her look bad. What kind of parent has such an ego problem that they see their own child succeeding as a threat?

And you of all people should know how manipulative she is, I mean, you’re going to study psychology. You didn’t even do anything to deserve any of it, but of course she’ll never own up to her mistakes. She acts like it’s your fault, and it’s so—

[SHE MAKES A GENERAL NOISE OF FRUSTRATION, THEN EXHALES.]

IRENE

I’m sorry. I just wish I could make it stop. [SOFTLY] She’s hurt you for so long. You don’t deserve it.

If it helps at all, I…thought about what you said. A while back. I think…I think I want to graduate first, but after that? I don’t see why we can’t run away and get married.

[A PAUSE.]

IRENE

[CASUAL] Text me as soon as you can, okay? Let me know if I can help. I love you. Bye.

[PHONE BEEP.]

[VOICEMAIL ENDS.]

[INT. PRESENT DAY IRENE’S HOUSE.]

[THERE’S A PAUSE AS IRENE STRUGGLES FOR WORDS.]

IRENE

I don’t know how a voicemail I sent got in here. [STUTTERING] I don’t know…

[SHE TAKES A SHAKY BREATH.] I didn’t know. Back then.

[QUIETER, SADDER] How did I not know?

[WEAKLY, HER VOICE CRACKING AS IF SHE MIGHT CRY] That future we built together. It was doomed from the start, wasn’t it?

[DEFEATED] There’s a phone call in here. Don’t know how it got there, seeing as I’ve never recorded any of my calls. I recognize the date, though. I know exactly what this is.

[A CLICK, THEN A BEEP.]

[INT. IRENE’S CHILDHOOD BEDROOM, FOUR YEARS PRIOR, THE MORNING OF ROSE’S DISAPPEARANCE.]

[PAST] IRENE

[ANSWERING] Hello?

ELLA

[STRAINED, AS IF SHE HAD BEEN CRYING] Irene? Have you seen Rose?

[A SAD, YET LOVELY MELODY BEGINS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND.]

IRENE

[SLOWLY] No.

Wait, hang on, this is Rose’s aunt, right? Um, why do you ask?

ELLA

[UNDER HER BREATH] Fuck.

Yes, this is Ella. We met at—never mind. Are you sure you haven’t heard from her? She didn’t text you, or, or leave you a note?

IRENE

[PAUSES, THEN, DREADFUL] What happened?

ELLA

We don’t know. My sister called us this morning to ask if we had kidnapped her. Of course we didn’t, but she wasn’t in her room. My sister said she broke the door handle because Rose wasn’t answering, which is--well, I’ve known her for long enough, I’m somehow not surprised she would do something that drastic. [SOME COMBINATION OF A SCOFF AND A CHUCKLE.]

[WORRIED] Lucy and I are worried sick, though, and my sister is acting weird. Some of Rose’s things were missing, including her bike, and her window was left open. Her cat was gone, too, but his food was still there. We’re going to have to call the police if we don’t hear from her soon, and she hasn’t answered any of my calls.

Look, I know she had some...well, she had some fantastical ideas at times. Head in the clouds, right? [SHE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]

But did she contact you, or have you seen her recently? You’re the person she most likely would have told if she was going anywhere. Please, if you know anything, just tell us. 

[A LONG PAUSE.]

ELLA

...Irene, are you—?

[IRENE ABRUPTLY HANGS UP.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[CALL ENDS.]

[THE MUSIC FADES TO A STOP.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Today’s quote is: “Sometimes people leave you / Halfway through the wood / Others may deceive you / You decide what's good / You decide alone / But no one is alone.”

Stephen Sondheim in Into The Woods, 1987.

[THEME MUSIC AND CREDITS PLAY.]

#heart of ether transcripts