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artemistalkstoomuch · 3 months

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All of My Opinions on the Mean Girls Musical Movie

Firstly, loved all the original film references. Of course the obvious ones like having the same lines, the thing about fetch being slang from an old movie, but also!!

. Janis' suit being purple for spring fling!! and omg let's not even talk about how pretty Aul'il Cravalho was throughout the entire film. Her eye make-up was so impressive

. that part in Sexy where they're cycling through potential outfits and one of them is the white shirt with the purple bra holes cut out !!

Slightly upset about the fact they cut out Meet the Plastics and it ended up being more like, Meet Regina, but I get that. On the topic of songs, I understand a lot of them were cut out because they were "too theatrical" but I can still miss em!! Truthfully when I heard the new Stupid With Love I was devastated because it's one of my favourite songs and they fucking tiktokified it, but I actually think it works really well in the film- it gets the "cringy first proper love" aspect across, which is its purpose, so I'm happy.

THEY GOT RID OF "WHO HERE HAS EVER FELT PERSONALLY VICTIMISED BY REGINA GEORGE" which was absolutely criminal

AND THE PRINCIPAL AND MS NORBURY ARE TOGETHER which was actually adorable, and I didn't think about the fact that could be something that happened, but I'm very happy it did.

The bus at the end of Rather Be Me was such a jumpscare but also so funny. THEY MISSED OUT THE DIALOGUE TO DO IT THOUGH SADD. Plus she was so goofy that entire song?? Why was she running in and out of all of those random rooms.

The rumours spreading via phones looked half cool, but it's dated the film imo, which is what Tina Fey originally set out to avoid! Like "fetch" was made up slang so in years to come the film wouldn't seem cringy for having slang teens actually used to use at the time.

Big drum-roll: We did not see enough of Regina's meanness to actually justify her being a mean girl. A lot of it got filtered out through songs, and the majority of stuff was just her, like, responding badly to sexism?? Also tell me how I'm gonna villanise Renee Rapp she fucking SLAYED what a queen.

Also WHERE IS COACH CARR'S SEXUAL ASSAULT. THAT'S THE WHOLE REASON MS NORBURY GETS ARRESTED!!?? That, to me, is one of the biggest indicators in the original film of just how powerful the "Mean Girls" are, they know about this, and the other teachers don't. Not only that, but it highlights just how immature they are, because they don't do anything about it. They're girls who run the school, without having any sympathy or context to do something about bad stuff they know happens. It's just "a funny thing to write". Not having that made me sad tbh.

Changing the line to "you wrote this" in World Burn was clever but I wish we got to see more of the girls turning on each other, rather than direct fighting.

KEVIN G BEST SONG IN THE MUSICAL

Where was the 4 way phone call, DEVASTATING. We literally did not see the plastics actually interact with each other. There was no meanness, no impact, all we got were the "events" when OTHER THINGS HAPPEN. You could say it lost a lot of filler, but the filler was actually context! And part of what makes the film so good!

Devastated she doesn't say "damn you're mine" in Someone Gets Hurt. I do think it's hilarious they just didn't make the actor guy for Aaron sing at all lol

"That filter you use looks just like me" WHY. I appreciate the change from the line about weight but like, this DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. at least say "that filter you use has nothing on me" THE WHOLE POINT IS SHE'S ABOVE IT

I didn't like the extended version of Revenge Party, sorry, too used to the old version

And I did not like the girlbossification of Sexy. I get it's supposed to be powerful like "watch me as I run the world in shoes I cannot walk in" but I feel like the whole point of "I expect to run the world in shoes I cannot walk in" is supposed to point out the irony, like, being slightly critical of "modern feminism". I will say though that the wobble from avantika as she says that is superb.

Overall I thought the film was enjoyable and a nice blend of the original film and the musical, but I think both ended up losing individual meaning because of how much they intersect. You don't have time to appreciate the lyrics and power of the musical because you don't hear them all, and some of them get cut, and you can't follow the plot in a meaningful way because the songs are happening, and they skip a lot of context to fit them in.

Would totally watch it again though, if only to see Renee Rapp say "get in loser" cos she actually nailed that

#mean girls #mean girls musical #regina george #renee rapp #angourie rice #auli'i cravalho #tina fey #bebe wood #avantika #mean girls 2024 #musicals #long post

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lurksunderthebed · 6 months

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Funnily enough i had a long ass convo with one of the dudebros that just decided to drop by and comment how Ghost and Soap are NOT GAY!!! on one of the comment's that initially didn't even mention anything about them like that other than saying "they could have been friends or something more like romantic", and this guy just lost it. Problem with them is they wanna latch onto their "role" models so desperately it threatens their masculinity when someone dares to read these characters as anything other than cis het man.

Bear with me it's gonna be one long ass essay; The need to gatekeep a certain character because their views don't aling with how the rest of us choose to interpret them because according to them, their view is a fact but ours that's not aligning with their bias is a headcanon, make it make sense. Saying and seething that "Ghost isn't GAY!!!" isn't a fact, that sounds like an agenda to me because seeing Ghost as a bi/pan anything else doesn't count in the "manly man" category for toxic dudebros because masculine men only are allowed to dominate and bang women, right? It just shows how simple minded and uneducated the lot of them really are. Cannot fathom man and a woman having a platonic bond without saying "yeah they're polygamous, that's a thing in military for men to have side bitches" whilst defending fiercely Ghost and Soap as being anything other than "bros" because they feel attacked.

Don't get me started on the whole double standard issue either; it's very hot and cute when Ghost threatens Milena but it's disgusting and no no for Ghost and Soap who literally have an established bond between them and clearly care for one another. Same goes for Valeria, they were ready to pair her with Soap just because it was a woman and a man. A man has to bang chicks lol/ This philosophy is so tiring and dumb that it just shows you how a cis het man actually sees women. And i'd go as far as to say it implies misogyny aswell. Take that as you will. But this issue is present in every sort of fandom whose target audience is mostly basement dwellers that rely on their mums for a brand new GPU.

I think the whole thing has to do with projection. When it comes to people who lash out and get ridiculously upset about these sorts of things, especially about a FICTIONAL character it's cause they view it as an attack on themselves.

Which is all sorts of sad, because we're not talking facts here or canonical events, it's about how those fans see themselves in their fav characters.

As I said earlier, you could read into people's sexualities all you want. Aside from Laswell hilariously enough, there isn't any definitive proof of het/gay/etc in any character in 141. If there was, you bet my overly analytical self would find it and make a note of it for Ghost or Soap.

There's arguably more proof on Ghost being queer than him being straight/het which is the funniest thing. The easiest read is him being just not interested in people as a whole, especially with how much he doesn't really interact with others personally (outside of Soap).

Personally, I think when it comes to those sorts of people it's best to just leave it be. No amount of actual factual basis or any sort of reason will change their minds. Because it's not the characters in question that is the issue, it's themselves as people that push their own agenda into it.

Again irony at its finest. For all the people out there upset at those pushing the "gay agenda" onto these characters, it's really themselves pushing their own values onto them. Realising this would require more self reflection than most of that vocal fanbase actually have.

#ask #ghostsoap #cod mwiii #cod mw3 #soapghost #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #ghost x soap

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slashingdisneypasta · 1 year

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Horror Villains React to: Their S/O Receiving an Unsolicited Dick Pick (not from them)

Warnings: Unsolicited Dick Pic reception, some explicit references and references to impending violence/gore

Animal the Cannibal: Honestly quite disturbed. Why?? Why would he do this to us Y/N??

Baby Firefly: “Let’s cut it off.” Baby’s more than happy to track this loser down and slice the appendage off (And nail it to the wall while he watches).

Billy Loomis: Woah- he did not need to see that. No homo.

Bo Sinclair: What the fuck Y/N?? Who is this guy?? Here, you guys can send the guy one back- show him what a real dick looks like-

Bubba Sawyer: Bubba is not as startled as you might think. Do you think Chop Top and/or Nubbins didn’t run around without clothes for a good portion of their lives like the feral little monsters they are? Do you think that they still don’t do that sometimes?? Bubba is not afraid of dick. He’s just confused as to why this dude would send a picture of it to you?

Candyman: Seeing another man’s dick out was not how Daniel foresaw his day going… but I guess that’s how his day is going… He’s mostly just quite sad about this man’s attempt at woo-ing you. This is just… what has happened to gentlemen?

Captain Spaulding: He’s laughing, because its so small!!-

Carrie White: What… what??! Why?? That’s what those look like??? Carrie is very startled, as anyone seeing their first penis is-

Chop Top Sawyer: Not surprised, not mad, not disgusted… oddly fascinated, though XD

Chucky Lee Ray: “Well… “*Cackling* “You did ask him what was up, doll- “

Debbie Loomis: Ugh, men.

Dr Suave: *Getting out the tooth drill* “Yeah… this should do the trick.”

Drayton Sawyer: Drayton has lost his mind …again. He’s so mad, and he’s mad at everyone. He’s mad at the guy, he’s mad at the phone company, he’s mad at you- Like WHAT!? Why would you SHOW HIM THIS SHIT?? Now he’s gonna have that filthy thing in his head all damn day… And you’re not gonna hear the end of it.

Freddy Krueger: Like Chucky, he finds this to be quite hilarious and has plenty of jokes cued up. You made a mistake by showing him. He’s never gonna shut up.

Granny Boone: Oooooh, let her see let her see!!

Harper Alexander: Billy Vol. 2, except its MAX Homophobic. Like, that’s disgusting Y/N. He doesn’t wanna see that. He’s not gay. Put that away. (In fact he’s just discovered a new slogan. He’s not gay, put that away)

Inkubus: “What is that picture of? Its so small… Oh. That’s very sad.”

Jason Voorhees: Do not show him. Just do not. Tell me, do you want to keep your phone? Because if you show him, its gonna get flung across camp like the hottest of potatoes.

Jedidiah Sawyer: … *Sigh*. He’s too tired for this. // Already on his way out the door though with his chainsaw. Gotta take care of this for you.

Jennifer Check: … Gross. // Look who’s gonna be her next meal, though?

Jerry Dandridge: Similar to Inkubus, Jerry’s just like this is… pitiful. He finds it pretty amusing, too, another man trynna whoo you like that. So stupid.

Jill Roberts: What the fuck is wrong with men?

Kieran Wilcox: The type to have to show you, then and there, what you already have.

Leslie Vernon: I feel like Leslie would be like *Big sigh and eye roll* ‘Men… ’, and then go back to whatever he was doing without realising the irony in his words.

Lester Sinclair: … that ain’t right. Lester actually checks if you’re okay, receiving something like that.

Luda Mae Hewitt: Luda Mae has 2 sons, so like Bubba penis does not disturb her. She just squints at it and, like, half chuckles before returning to her newspaper, shaking her head. Like, this is casual. Whatever. She doesn’t care. Oh you’ll be fine. What you have to worry about, is dinner tonight.

Max Grief: … Slowly loading his gun and then heading out the door to his car. Also quite upset about seeing a dick that’s not his.

Mayor Buckman: What on gods green earth!?- // News at 10, old man locked himself up in his house all day and won’t come out.

Mental Manny: … Ha. That’s pathetic.

Michael Myers: Depending on whether its Halloween or not, he might just go like ‘huh’ (Silently) and go back to his TV watching. If it is Halloween though, well then he’s got one more stop to make.

Mickey Altieri: “Hm, yeah… so I might be bisexual- what!? Would you be into that?? Could we explore that??”

Midnight Man: … Why? // Why do human males feel the need to plaster their reproductive organs everywhere? Is it a mating ritual? Would you like to see his?

Monty Hewitt: … *Eyeroll* I’m too old for this.

Otis B. Driftwood: *Currently nailing that dick up to the wall and admiring his art*

Pamela Voorhees: *Cut to Pam with a cleaver outside this man’s house, a white apron on and a psychotic smile on her face* Hello dear, I’m just going around the neighbourhood offering medical procedures! Would you like a free castration?~

Patrick Bateman: Pat is in the ‘Lets send him our own pics back’ club with Bo. Except his are a lot more explicit. Pictures of his own cock half in you, or shoved down your throat, etc.

Pennywise: *Very childish voice* Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…

Piper Shaw: “Okay let’s take care of this quick- “*Takes your phone and sends back a gif some horror movie* “There, done. I have a mass murder to plan out.”

Rocco the Clown: *Crushes a banana in his hand* // Also the type to fuck you then just to prove himself.

Roman Bridger: *Pained expression* “… Did you have to show me that?” “If I have to live with this image I’m not doing it alone.”

Sheriff Hoyt: He’s so mad 😅😅 Just let him go find the guy, he needs this and it’s the least bad thing he’s likely to do.

Stu Macher: “Can you tell him to send another, next to a ruler? I just wanna check- “

Stuart Lloyd: … “Do you think I could use you both in a film?- Y/N, where are you going?” Man has a one-track mind, just walk away.

The Clown: Its not a finger… but he can work with it. *Flips open butterfly knife*

The Deathslinger: “… Just fuckin’ shoot me.”

The Djinn: Like the Midnight Man ^^ Except he’s more frustrated and exasperated because he knows its stupid and gross.

The Huntress: She and Carrie are freaking out seeing dicks for the first time. There’s nothing cute about that thing?? She will chop it off with her hatchet!-

The Man: “Address?”

Taxidermist: Walter is Disturbed.

Tiffany Valentine: “That’s okay honey, we’ll take care of that old asshole.” *Heating up a kitchen knife with a lighter*

Thomas Hewitt: Thomas… is very unimpressed. Very deadpanned. Thumbs down.

Vincent Sinclair: *Shrugs* He’s delt with plenty naked bodies before, he’s an artist and he has chosen a very hands-on medium- and also, this guy is unspectacular.

Winslow Foxworth Coltrane: Genuinely quite good-humoured about it- he knows you’re his and he doesn’t need to feel threatened by this guy harassing you. Laughs about it.

#Horror Villains #Slashers #Horror Villains x Reader #Slashers x Reader #Horror Villains React #Reactions

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biscuityskies · 2 months

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I gotta know: what do you think Cody’s favourite ABBA song is (specifically Cody from your fic “what dreams may come”)?

Thank you VERY much for the ask!!! I sort of last minute ended up going into the field for over six hours today, which gave me the time to mull it over - here are my findings:

• Cody’s favourite album is ABBA Gold. All the greatest hits in one spot, all bangers no flops for REAL. This makes it very difficult for him to pick just one song. There may be a favourite, but there are close seconds… and thirds. And fourths. Maybe fifths.

• his favourite song is probably Voulez-Vous, it’s so dramatic and has a fantastic riff. Certified banger. It’s also kinda horny??? But probably he’s known this album since he was pretty young, and so it was only once he was older that he realised that the song is about more than speaking French. It was a whole revelation for him, and it did subsequently become his theme song.

�� each song on ABBA Gold definitely has its own vibe, and Cody can appreciate multiple facets of life having multiple songs that apply. He is not immune to the dramatics of The Winner Takes It All, nor the bittersweetness of Chiquitita and Fernando.

• another top song for him is Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight). The irony is not lost on him after meeting Ben.

Bonus findings:

• Rex likes to pretend that he hates ABBA but it’s definitely nostalgic for him, back when Cody would squish him in a tight hug and sing Chiquitita at him. He’s also just mad that Cody’s better at the Just Dance for Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! than Rex is.

• Cody would put Mamma Mia on blast every time Rex got in his car during the tumultuous time with Rex’s off-again-on-again relationship with a certain Skywalker. Cody was never fond of the guy, but any opportunity to lovingly tease his brother was not one to pass up, so. It’s another reason Rex pretends to hate ABBA.

• Rex does still have a favourite song. And yes it is Dancing Queen.

• Ben’s favourite ABBA song (he’s been around for like a thousand years, he did NOT miss when ABBA first came around) is probably Andante, Andante, but he would tell Cody it’s Does Your Mother Know just to watch his expression.

Thank you very much again - I’ve just discovered a plot point based around ABBA discussions that would probably be HILARIOUS; there’s certainly potential for opening up a whole universe in this where it’s just fluff and some (surprisingly kinky???) smut… and one could say those are my specialities, so. <3

#dani answers #abba most beloved of bands #this brought me great joy amidst my six hours of being out in the rain #thank you very much my dear <3

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backpackingspace · 8 months

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the sacrificial lamb

A heartbeat of stillness, the horrific realization of just who was who. And who they were all trapped in a room with. Motion on all sides. Alana sliding back off to the side there was nothing she could do. Jack standing to his full height a roar on lips, the others drawing their guns. Hannibal nearly bouncing on the balls of his toes preparing.

And Will …Will through fever and sweat and hallucinations badly conscious and shaking, will let the pendulum fall. It would be a bloodbath, nobody would escape here alive. This strange room was converted into their tomb.

Will threw himself up, hardly knowing what he was going to do. Hardly able to stand but he moved fast. Alana was here, Beverly was here. He could not let Hannibal have his way which meant he could not let those bullets fly he he

Will wrapped his arms tight around Hannibal, moving fast enough that the biggest hunter could not kill him on the spot. And burrowed Into Hannibal's space. Embracing him, holding him close. Will buried his face in Hannibal's chest. He didn't want to see.

"Please" he whispered "Hanniabl don't"

Here were the facts:

Hannibal was the ripper

Hannibal was the copycat

Hannibal the cannibal had fed them all the evidence there would be nothing left (see. See)

Hannibal was undeniably in love with Will Graham.

There were 4 guns trained on Hannibal and Will was sure Hannibal would still win.

The Whole room froze on a pinnacle. Teetering one way rather than the other. Will could see Jack contemplating shooting Hannibal through will. Could feel the others horrifiedbaffledconfusion. Could feel how tense Hannibal was in his grip. An almost careful hand snaked its way into Will's hair. The hand clamped down and steadily pulled his head back and up, forcing eye contact.

Will did not shudder. He had already been shaking and how devastating was that realization that he felt steadier against Hannibal than he had in weeks, even with all that had happened. The heartbreak was plain on the good (hilarious) doctor's face.

"Even as you turn from me" Hannibal murmured , not taking his eyes off Will "you entreat me"

Will swallowed. Tried to think through the haze of the fever. He had to be careful here but he couldn't lie either. And only partially because Hannibal was sure to spot it. He forced himself to keep making eye contact even though it hurthurthurt. He licked his lips. And said

"Is this turning from you? I'm literally in your arms"

The other hand came up to trace Will's cheek. Eventually it cupped his face. Distantly Will heard everybody suck in a breath. He knew that Hannibal was in the perfect position to snap his neck. Will could barely feel it. Just as he had moments before on the screen still playing behind him. The irony was not lost on Will.

"You did that from them, not because you chose me"

"And if I did choose you?" Will bargained

There was a long pause. Will watched as Hannibal visibly came to a decision.

"Very well. Ask me properly"

Will fought back a grimace. This fucking bastard.

"Please" he sarcastically said, unable to help it. He batted his eyelashes and everything "don't kill them"

Hannibal looked amused of all things. That was probably good. Actually it was surprising Will hadn't ended up on Hannibal's table much earlier. He didn't know how not to be rude.

"I suppose I should have expected such behavior. We are all what we are. "

"I see what you are"

"Do you truly?"

"Most of it" Will admitted "I did as soon as they showed you. There's still prices missing"

"Clever boy" Hannibal praised.

The hand shifted from his face to his throat. He nudged Will, turning him to face the room. Will closed his eyes. Hannibal would want him to watch but not yet. Please not yet. He just need a few more seconds to pretend that none of this was happening. Hannibal tightened his grip around Will's throat. Will remembers the doctor's firm grasp as he moved his hands cupping Abigail's throat in much the same way, saving her life. and pulled him closer still, nestling Will Into himself. There was no room between them, they became one, they're boundaries fluid and Will had already been leaking.

"Now" Hannibal said. Will opened his eyes.

Hurtbafflemntcunfusionbetralanger hit Will all at once, washing through him. Satisfactionheartbreakanger sinking Into his skin like hooks from behind. Will knew he would pay dearly for this favor but if he could just keep everyone else alive.

Jack looked enraged. Will could barely look at Alana, the hurt oozing off her. The others a mix between seriously what the fuck and I fucking knew he was creep. Only Beverly looked steadily back. She had kept her gun raised. She looked Will in the eyes and gave him a little nod. She knew what he was doing. And that hurt more than anything.

"Ms. Katz" Hannibal directed "I would hate to waste good Will's manipulations. Put down the gun"

She hesitated , looked at Will again, and lowered the gun. And just like that the tension in the air deflated and Will knew Hannibal had won. Nobody would try anything. Will could see it clear as day. Clearer, given everything. Will had (potentially) saved their lives at the cost of a murder walking free and they could all see it. Deal with the devil indeed. But there was no going back now.

"No going back now dear Will" Hannibal breathed In his ear, echoing Will's thoughts. "Do not make the mistake that I will ever be content to let you go"

The hand tightened on Will's throat. He could breathe but only just. Everybody could see it.

"No more climbing walls" Will replied echoing Hannibal’s and Abigail's agreement from earlier. He felt hannibal's sharp smile against his face.

Hannibal took a step back, so Will took a step back. There would be no separating them now.

"I believe you are all familiar with this idea. Will will remain right here. And he will die quite painfully if any one tries to undo our lovely deal. "

The hand tightened again, and Will made a pained choked off sound, his face turning blue. Eventually he eased off seconds before Will passed out.

"Now I believe we will be trapped here for some time. Will will remain with me. And as a result the rest of you are alive. When we leave you may remain so, so long as you do not look for me. Shall we continue?"

The screen buzzed back to life. Everybody reluctantly turned towards it. Hannibal took another step backwards dragging Will with him. Carefully he slid down so that he was sitting against the door. Positioning Will so that he was draped in his lap. Only Beverly continued to keep her eyes trained on them, ignoring the screen completely.

"If your friend tries anything. Then I will kill her" Hannibal mouthed the words against Will's ear, they were for him alone.

"She won't" Will retorted

"And uncle Jack will have to go. He will never stop looking for us"

Will froze. His fingers twitched like he wanted to grasp onto Hannibal and never let go.

"If you kill him, I promise I will never lay a finger on the others, even if they come after me"

Will's laugh was a strangled broken thing

"meaning you'll just send others to do it in your steed"

Will felt Hannibal smile again, slow and slick and sharp.

"Clever boy" he practically purred "nonetheless those are your options. Let the others take their chances and kill Jack or I will take care of the inconvenience now"

"You promised."

"I did not, dear will. But I will promise now if you so like "

#hannibal #hannigram #characters watching the show #characters watching nbc hannibal #hannibal lecter #will graham #beverly katz #alana bloom #jack crawford #fic snippet #not sure when ill write more of this #so im not posting it on ao3 yet #but i wanted to share #@bixlasagna #i wrote a thing #the sacrificial lamb

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uncommon-etc · 2 years

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To follow up with a more positive post from my ‘top 5 dumbest criticisms debunked’ here’s a list of adorable and well-thought-out details from Thor: Love and Thunder, which, while not that difficult to spot, I appreciated even more the second time round.

- The costume department made Tessa Thompson at least four different perfectly tailored suits for approximately eight seconds of footage. Was it a waste of fabric? Absolutely not.

- Jane isn’t just a sci-fi nerd for reeling off films that explain wormholes well, her Halloween costume in the montage is Ash from Alien, post chest-burster scene.

- Thor has Nick Fury’s contact saved to his phone as ‘Nick Furry’ which will never not be funny to me.

- Was giving Dwayne a mustache when Kronans have absolutely no capacity to grow facial-hair an absolutely ridiculous decision that some poor vfx artist should have been sacked over? Absolutely. But it was also a really nice callback to Taika’s childhood Freddie Mercury obsession, so jot that down.

- That poor guy who got hit in the face when a certain cape was flung for dramatic emphasis has my sympathies.

- The little broken heart next to Thor’s ‘RIP Loki’ tattoo was hilarious and tragic at the same time.

- It was definitely ‘bring your daughter to work day’ on set, I’ve already seen plenty of people remarking on the adorableness of Chris Hemsworth’s kidlet, but both of Taika’s daughters were among the stolen Asgardian kids and were apparently really mean to Christian Bale.

- Despite having all the trappings of a family-friendly film you get multiple ‘oh shit’ lines, though it feels entirely appropriate to the tone of the scenes, there are also at least two references to a mass orgy held on a regular basis in Omnipotent City.

- All of the snacks in the vending machine Thor breaks are region-appropriate, which pleased me as someone who grew up only getting to eat that stuff in Finland or on family trips to IKEA and ngl, if I was having to pay like 2-3 euros for a pack of Marabou or some salmiakki, and I had super-strength, I’d probably just smash the thing too.

- Glad to see independent theatre is still thriving in New Asgard, but the irony of Valkyrie being very done with the two actors while wearing a Phantom of the Opera t-shirt was not lost on me. Her being a closet theatre-kid seems pretty on-brand.

- Sif still being a badass sword-fighter with only one arm (why is that such a common injury in the MCU?)

- Idk why, but the scene on the boat where the straight half of the crew are outside doing straight things while Korg and Valkyrie are propping up the bar, drinking and discussing being gay felt... weirdly relatable. If that isn’t how you and your friends end up at the tail-end of a house-party don’t @ me.

- It seemed a really odd choice at first to have a film with three semi-sentient weapons that have their own personalities and a fourth that’s just kind of there, but in hindsight it’s also hilarious. Stormbreaker’s got beef with Thor and Mjolnir and the Necrosword parallel each other beautifully (both are slowly killing the person that wields them, but the motives are polar opposites) so I kept waiting for the thunderbolt to have some whole hidden agenda of its own, but no, it was the only cool-looking god-level weapon that was... just a weapon.

I’ll probably think of more to add, because I love this film so damn much, but feel free to chip in if there’s any obvious ones I’ve forgotten.

#thor love and thunder #thor #marvel #taika waititi

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asocial-skye · 1 year

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this is probably forty years late, but I think it would have been absolutely hilarious if darth vader and anakin skywalker were different people, and darth vader was in love with anakin.

like, anakin is still married to padme and they have their kids, but vader and him have this sexual tension with real love and it's even more fucked up than how it was with obi-wan. with obi-wan it’s like, daddy issues with a splotch of ‘have i made you proud? i’ll keep trying if i suck.’ these two are like, our souls smolder together in the same flame, our bond will not fail with time's treacherous plans, and also refuse to talk to each other because one of them ate the other's space sandwich. vader is just like, obvious as hell and makes an effort to bridal carry anakin at every possible chance. there has to be bridal carrys; anakin wears a wedding gown in one of them. he writes angsty love poetry that compares his love to the burning of stars and the treacherous swell of the sea and the unrelenting chains of the desert and tells people with 100% seriousness that he’ll cut someone’s throat and drip blood over their corpse and himself if it pleases anakin. anakin believes this is normal.

vader is just like, what do you mean it’s not normal to cling to your best friend and tell him his lips are beautiful. it’s totally fine to tell your best friend that you want him as your wife and do his space AP Lit homework cuz he’s shit at anything not related to calculus. he cries and refuses to come out his room when anakin is kidnapped. he goes on a rampage, comes back covered in blood and anakin coos and brings warm blankets for his sweet boy.

vader is a literature nerd in this universe, and he loves a STEM child. it’s enemies to lovers.

obi-wan in this universe is just like, old man who drinks tea and tells everyone that this is a bad idea and no one listens to him. he gets to have his i-told-you-so moment on padme's funeral and its the only piece of vindication that he gets in the entire trilogy. he is satisfied.

like, vader and anakin grow up together and they both have this weirdly layered bond of gayness and friendship. they both get assigned to guard the senator, and then vader realizes he's in love after third wheeling for three days. anakin is head over heels, and marries padme since she’s the only one he’s met that’s as crazy as vader and he decides that he needs more people like him in his life. vader spends the rest of clone wars being benignly jealous and cooking up more and more ridiculous schemes to confess his love. at one point space koalas are involved and anakin has been dumped in more roses than he can count. he now constantly smells like roses and troopers hang around him to avoid army stonk. anakin just being all stupid and like ' wow, you are such a nice friend.' the clone army all knows and are dying of laughter. (it turns really sad once they realize that vader really does love him, and he is aware that he'll never really be loved back. he is trying to get over it, but is failing really really badly)

padme and vader hate each other; vader has a cloth voodoo padme doll with a red dress and terrifying white makeup that he regularly sticks pins into because sticking pins into the real padme would make anakin sad, and padme uses an ouija board to attempt to send malevolent spirits to vader on his starship without telling anakin. anakin thinks that they both have a 'difficult, but loving relationship' kind of like him and vader. the irony is lost on him.

padme is lowkey insane, and can and will strangle you in a parking lot if you look at her wrong. she is a space atheist and she and vader argue about whether the Force is real, because she is a lady of science and you can’t make me join your religion, vader. she really does love anakin, but also isn’t a white feminist in this, and publicly disagrees with the jedi and constantly opposes the clones on human rights basis. it causes a bit of strife. vader agrees, but would rather ‘strangle himself with her fancy ass scarf’ than tell her. anakin is traumatized, and constantly downplays his issues, which is why he can’t recognize the clones’ problems.

anakin finds out that padme’s birth control failed, and is planning on leaving the senate. anakin begins to get dreams of padme dying, and confides in vader. vader attempts to help, but their plan gets them caught by the jedi council, and anakin is expelled. vader swears revenge and keeps looking; he begins to obsess over cheating death and turns to sidious for help. he tells him that if he murders a bunch of kids, he'll be able to use their souls to keep padme and anakin's kids alive along with padme. vader decides that it is worth the effort for anakin.

anakin has obvious objections, and has this talk with padme on how he was going to try to bring vader back from the darkside. padme thinks it's a stupid idea, but agrees to help him. anakin goes to mustafar and then meets vader whose unhinged and off his rocker.

drunk on the dark side, vader confesses to anakin and offers to rule the galaxy with him and padme. anakin refuses, and vader gets mad. obi-wan is here too for some reason, and then they all get into an argument where someone skewers anakin. the fight on mustafar ends with vader screaming at anakin's corpse and going "you swore that you loved me, and you always chose her. you liar!" padme comes from the ship, and she and vader have a tug of war with anakin's corpse which ends with him force choking her. (obi-wan leaves with padme who is distraught and trying to get her husband's body back from vader) vader then has a full on breakdown where he tries to beat anakin back to life and is scream sobbing while hugging anakin's corpse as he catches on fire because he's standing too close to the lava and that's how palpatine finds them.

he's sealed in a metal can and basically terrorizes the galaxy so he can inflict his misery on the world. tragedy at the greatest level. padme names vader as like, godfather to her two kids and then dies. nobody knows why she does this, and bail wonders if she had amnesia and decides not to tell her that the dude is a murderer who killed her husband and prayed for three years that her marriage would end in a lavender divorce. (she names vader godfather as a last promise to anakin)

vader is sad upon finding that padme is dead, and takes out all of the pins in the padme doll, and begs it to make padme come back. it does not work.

i have no idea how luke goes into this, but it would probably end with the 'obi-wan killed your dad' plot twist where anakin tries to stop obi-wan from killing vader and then obi-wan impales him on accident or something. it's stupid as fuck, but i can't think of a better solution.

anyway luke saves his gay godfather who tells him not to be obsessively possessive of others like he was to his dad, and tells him to use his ship to escape. he dies while killing the emperor to save luke, and then luke burns his body. after the funeral, he opens the cockpit and finds a dull black box in one compartment. he finds the padme doll with ominous pin stabs, and a picture of his dad and mom with conspicuous horns erased, and angelic wings drawn over it crudely. he also finds a picture of vader, his father and obi-wan with ahsoka with the huttese words 'my love, my father, my child' written on the back. luke is a bit weirded out, but he appreciates it.

i don't know why i wrote this.

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mr-independent · 1 year

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'its been a while bud,' you might be saying, 'whereve you been?'

Doing stuff. My life is busy as all hell lately, but hey at least i got a free neon yellow fitbit out of the deal. Ironically, yellow is one of my favourite colours and also one of the 2 (two) colours that i can't really see. Yes, I have tritanomaly. No, I don't understand how those two things can both be true, either.

Anyways it's Christmas in May, dear 4 followers that love these posts, so let's crack open a cold one for the boys and get right into it.

S2e4, Coach Santa:

-- why is Colin wearing a turkey hat? I thought that was an American Thanksgiving thing? (Edit: apparently people eat turkey on Xmas. I grew up so decolonized i asked my mom once why my friend Baz wore a t necklace when his name started with a B. Turns out it was a cross. All I know of Xmas comes from Santa depictions and Christmas themed tv show episodes lmao)

-- Isaac's Santa outfit is fucking Iconic

-- Keeley and the Diamond Dogs is such an underrated dynamic i love them so much

-- the immediate teamwork to put together the gift for Jamie is a cute little moment 🥰

-- the title callback to the weird claymation short thing is also a nice touch. Can you tell i love Xmas episodes bc i do. I'm also Jewish lol. And I love irony.

-- I keep forgetting Roy's sister is a surgeon. Also Sexy December 28th is hilarious, i really hope they stuck with it

-- what in the world is the Higgins kid doing with a surfboard in England???

-- the fact that nobody used to show up for Higgins Christmases until Ted showed up 🥰

-- the fact that Henry got his dad a dartboard, Ted's favourite thing to do with his own dad when he was Henry's age, hurts my heart

-- Everyone is wearing shoes indoors. Is that like. An English thing? Ted is too, is that also an American thing? I am. Horrified

-- 'this one is pre-cheekied' I love u Dani

-- Richard is like The French Stereotype and I love that for him lol

-- Roy is lactose intolerant and ate so much ice cream he shit his pants? Relatable king. Also his birthday was three weeks before christmas, making him a Sagittarius, for those so inclined to know

-- Dani and Zoreaux acting like they're gonna die in the trenches over a nerd gun war are such fucking nerds

-- how long, do y'all think, has Rebecca been doing this? I'd like to think it was a sneaky little tradition she hid from Rupert for years

-- 'theres two white people at the door and they're smiling' you go babe tell it like it is

-- look i get Keeley has long nails but pressing a doorbell with your whole palm is unhinged behaviour

-- 'let me fix my knee' *just fucking punches it into place* gotta say, Roy's getting more relatable by the minute. I too have fixed my janky knee by simply shoving it back into place

-- Keeley is wearing a crop top in December. Gotta love the commitment. Also Ussie guy has such long hair now wtf

-- gotta say i completely forgot Christmas Poppers were a thing. That's uh. Not what immediately comes to mind when someone uses the word poppers around me but hey that's just me

-- i forgot we so often get answers to our questions in this show. Rebecca has been doing this for years. I love when I'm right

-- Ted's 'right I'm the one with the accent here'... Ive lost track of how many times I've had that exact thought lmao

-- Love Actually! Good movie, love that Roy thought of that

-- Ted thinks singing is just talking an octave lower. Not surprising but funny nonetheless. And before you say it, yes i understand that was Jason Sudekis' solution to trying to sing in a different accent so he doesn't sound like Jason Sudekis but also. Adorable.

#ted lasso #teddy rewatches ted

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skyephobic · 2 years

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hi! this ask is my response to ur response lmao because i just can't stop the urge to response😭 so apologies for a messy ask

but yep yep!! akane isolating himself is the solution he believed in to stop going insane (although would've love to see an akane going insane) and for him to actually prefer to clean clocks is hilarious because in canon, akane is annoyed for being an errand kid. and i love the clock keepers having a fam dynamic so i appreciate the idea of akane being a big bro to mirai – it's fucking cute.

i like ur additional change that akane is more stubborn and stuck in the denial stage whenever something new happens! gotta love the irony that a clock keeper of the present fears for the goddamn present.

i like aoiaoi experiencing a wholesome friendship in another life so instead of letting it become a plot relevance, i offer aoi being able to see the other side in an unclear manner because of her bloodline. considering that the akanes are associated with the spiritual world (in the past, that is) because of their special blood, it would've make sense(?) that all of them can see the other side but most doesn't have a strong sixth sense.

as such, i offer again the akane aoi in this world was born with a weak sixth sense. but she pretends that she can't see the mokkes stealing the belongings of her classmates nor acknowledging that nene-chan talking with a spiritual being that aoi can't see – after all, nene-chan is just being silly and tell aoi about it, right? she insists to herself that she's paranoid for thinking that someone is watching her skipped the fourth step of the staircase and that tsuchigomori-sensei had two arms, not an extra four. aoi even pretends that akane is a schoolmate she talks to when the two of them are alone and not a lost spirit who could've died wearing theatric clothes because akane aoi isn't that desperate to fight off the loneliness to the point of thinking that a non-human being as a close friend.

akane might understand what a television or telephone is and is undergoing the process of understanding twitter, but the slangs of the current generation will confuse the hell out of him ("teru what is lmao" "it means laughing my ass off" "but you're not laughing?") argh the possibility of akane being adorable for asking questions and getting more excited is fucking cute

AND YES TERUKANE IM SORRY BUT I JUST CANT HELP SLIPPING THEM IN!! i would've love to think more about them in this au but i ran out of thinking juice. but gotta love that akane's heart be pounding whenever he saw teru and teru just being conflicted that he might've fall in love with a supernatural hahaa hope those two suffer here

and i am glad that my theory on the clock keepers race somewhat make sense! and the evolution of their abilities might've come from their rumours ever since these three started to remain on the near shore. (just remembered about the rumours shit oops)

and you're welcome! i am glad that my asks fueled ur insane jshk thoughts!!!

DONT APOLOGIZE IM HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE RESPONDING TO THESE ??? ITS GENUINELY SO FUN I PROMISE ur free to dm me about these too because im so happy talking about akane

its not like he LIKES cleaning, he just doesn't know what to do- and it's a part of his routine. mirai asks him why he does it if he doesnt like it and hes just like "i have to" When no the fuck he doesnt. his routine is clean -> reorganize -> take care of mirai -> clean again . mirai follows him around the entire time or he carries her.. im obsessed with akane being her older brother figure i can go on about it for hours ..

akane fearing what he controls is so.. akane of him. i can't explain it but he fears the concept of time itself because it passes by so fast and he doesnt even realize he cant grasp it all

ALSO ?? UR ANALYIZATIONS ON AOI ND THE AOIAOI FRIENDSHIP ARE SO GOOD ???? im better at analyzing characters like akane and mitsuba but ur analyzations are just so . I wnat to eat them

I LOVE INCLUDING TERUKANE IN AUS DONT U WORRY teru explaining present day terms and slang and akane's just staring at him with a love-struck expression and teru notices but he just keeps talking .. akane's listening but he looks so in love its insane he doesnt even realize i want to push him out of the way so teru will give me a chance

ALL UR THEORIES ARE SO GOOD I LOVE THEM ALL .... PLEASE KEEP GOING ... ive never heard anyone talk about the other clock keepers so im so happy Litrelaly

this is so adding to my insaneness im ENJOYING IT !!!!

#akane aoi #tbhk #jshk #ask box #ask me whatever #toilet bound hanako kun #jibaku shounen hanako kun

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jacksgreysays · 1 year

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60) things you said as the bottom dropped out; for your OCs or whatever you feel like

I’m gonna be honest anon, I think this prompt fill will actually be more of an outline/planning/ideation.

Because I’m gonna be even more honest, I did have to look up what “bottom dropped out” means. Like… I had a vague idea I knew what I meant but then I second guessed myself and looked it up to make sure because it’s not a phrase I use/hear often. But, for those who are also not sure, the bottom dropping means something ends/goes awry 1) suddenly and with the option of doing so 2) worse than it has ever been before. So not just abruptly hitting rock bottom but also maybe plunging straight through to the crust of the earth.

Which is hilarious.

I also appreciate you for requesting one of my OCs and/or whatever whim may take me which does make this… very open ended on who gets absolutely destroyed and what they say while being so but also means it’s so open ended that I have to ideate what I would write about.

I was also thinking that the particular phrasing evokes the sense of falling, which should be obvious, but… how do I put it… while the bottom of a boat disappearing would put its passengers in a bind the idea of them falling into water doesn’t seem as abrupt. Or, like, doesn’t evoke falling necessarily. Then I was thinking, a step to the side, what about an airship? But that involves a good chunk of world building which isn’t where I’m at for the moment.

And also, I shouldn’t take it so literally.

So, what do you say the moment of the worst thing suddenly happening to you? Let’s see…

If I go through my OCs, my usual go to is, of course, Tetsuki but weirdly enough nothing bad happens to her so suddenly and that she can’t mitigate/recover from. After that is Leanne, but in an equal and opposite problem, bad things are happening to her almost constantly, and also nothing is the absolute worst she’d be subjected to because the purgatory that is her existence is already the bad ending (in as much as a time traveler can have an ending)

And of course I have other OCs but…who has their entire world ripped out from under them all at once…

Ohhhhh, oh noooooo, I know who it is: it’s Curtis/Apex from Twelve Sessions.

It would be about the fight that effectively wiped out the rest of the team—Brian/Griever is dead, Alvin/Silverfang is not dead but definitely unable to continue vigilantism somehow, Leanne/Anachron is lost to time (again), Joy/Jaguar’s fate is uncertain she’s probably not dead but definitely not going to continue vigilantism.

The problem is, while I do know what he says before the fight I don’t know what he would say during the fight and I also don’t actually happens in the fight since the point of Twelve Sessions is the more human/vulnerable side of superheroes having to face consequences of being a superhero. Anyways, he would definitely say something encouraging like “We got this” before the fight and then everything goes bad and it becomes a horrible irony that haunts him forever even when he does eventually heal and forgive himself.

So then is there anyone else?

In the same superhero trend, I was thinking of maybe a Tim Drake fic because he is one of my faves and he truly did have one of the worst years of existence if I’m remembering right in which basically everyone he loved died and then Robin was taken from him, but that’d basically be the whole fic and that’s just retreading old ground?

My brain did then jump to DoS since I had already crossed the fanfiction line even though you had specifically mentioned my OCs, but Shikako so very frequently is hit with extremely unfortunate events that she then so often adapts and lands on her feet if I go back to the falling interpretation as a metaphor. BUT THEN, I remembered I do have my own DoS OCs: specifically Shikako’s genin students. And while they’re learning to be as adaptable as her and as casually irreverent about the most bizarre situations, I think that largely depends on her being there. So for them, the bottom dropping out would be something that removes Shikako from the equation.

But wait, didn’t I just say she always lands on her feet? And yes, she does. At this point I would say recursive fic of her almost always has the implicit agreement that she wins/lives/survives/succeeds/protects the people she wants to. Which I do love and would love to hold to. But then I harkened back to ask box fake fic title prompt, Edge Of The Stars in which Shikadai tries to solve the mystery of his missing aunt and it turns out it was aliens/a Stargate.

Which… I still don’t know anything about the Stargate franchise. But the concept still holds: everyone is still alive and I’m sure she’s kicking ass and taking names wherever in the wide universe she got sent to, but as far as the people who love her are concerned Shikako disappeared and never came back.

So a fic in which her students—whether or not they’re still genin (probably not, tbh, considering their sensei’s fast tracking)—cope with her disappearance and really dig down to the core of what she taught them. Because another literal interpretation of the bottom dropping out is that the foundation is what fails or disappears even before the falling even happens.

But I’m also realizing that fic would just be me rambling about those OCs going from students to adults in the absence of their teacher when the more interesting story would be… where the hell IS Shikako and what is she doing?

Like… maybe I’m just overanalyzing the prompt, but I’m trying to figure out which is the most fun part: is it the foundation disappearing? Is it the person falling? Is it the person hitting rock bottom and then dealing with that?

#jacksgreyson #anonymous #ask box advent calendar #prompt response #brainstorm #twelve sessions #edge of the stars

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simmister · 2 years

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hey i just wanted to say your makeover of vlad and your lore for him is genuinely so inspiring to me, I love that his human form looks almost like a marble statue, plus the whole thing abt him controlling everyone? obsessed. if you have any other lore abt your forgotten hollow that you’d like to share i’d be very eager to hear it 👀

this is genuinely the sweetest ask i've ever gotten adfjhgk ;-; i'll put this under a read more because it turned out very lengthy, so buckle up!

i'm afraid i don't have many specifics when it comes to the other residents of forgotten hollow. i do plan on filling it up with humans that are all completely under vlad’s spell (think midnight mass. he has a superiority complex, so he'd totally have pretended to be some form of holy all-knowing being and ending up "accidentally" creating a cult full of religious people who believe they worship a god, but in reality worship satan :)) he'd probably find the irony in that absolutely hilarious).

i very much imagine forgotten hollow to be this closed community that makes you question if you've somehow travelled back in time, because vlad has enforced all of these old customs and beliefs throughout the past 200 years. i want it to feel like this small pocket of another world far up in the mountains, completely detached from reality and completely stuck in time. none of the residents have any forms of contact with the outside world, they're completely self-sufficient. it does happen once in a blue moon that some hiker strays from the beaten path and gets lost enough to end up there, but vlad takes care of that easily; he might even make them a new resident.

as for vampire lore in general, their society is led by the council, which consists of a handful of grand master vampires from around the world. it was founded by some of these grand master vampires who had spent decades, or even centuries, observing humanity, becoming equal parts fascinated, envious and frightened of its rapid development. they saw a need to bring vampire society up to those same standards, to organize it and establish laws to secure the future and safety of all children of the night.

the number one law is that you must uphold vampire secrecy; you must keep the existence of vampires unknown from humanity. it is very common for vampires to integrate themselves in human society, whether it be out of necessity or curiosity, or looking for entertainment or power. you'll often see vampires at the very top of the chain, pulling the strings and swimming in luxury, but just as often you'll see them at the bottom, miserable from their condition and losing the fight against their inner demons. there are laws in place to try and help the ones struggling, and it is deeply illegal to take the life of another vampire unless they have been deemed a major threat to the upholding of vampire secrecy.

all vampires have a responsibility for the children they sire, and are bound by law to mentor them unless otherwise approved by the council.

they may feed on humans as they please, even keep them around for continuous feeding, as long as they uphold the secrecy and don't cause issues for the council; they really don't appreciate having to clean up messes because some fledgling lost self control.

vampires are by nature territorial creatures, hence why they can be found in pretty much any city, but less so than they used to be. most of them have realized that they need to work together, at least to some extent, because humanity has the upper hand when it comes to numbers; this doesn't mean that they don't still view themselves as ultimately superior, but most have come to accept, if not even enjoy, coexistence.

#replies #anonymous

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pillowfriends · 2 months

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TSR new reader thoughts: chapters 16-20

Chapter 16: Leavetakings

Faile and Perrin are both being stupid but I blame Perrin more. no one in this series has a teaspoon of emotional intelligence.

oh shit, speaking of - Lan is angry angry. :0 does he really want to leave Moiraine for Nynaeve?? sir I am watching you. that entire scene was hilarious though - Lan violently making out with Nynaeve, Elayne watching avidly, Lan being all poetic.

You have made a place in my heart where I thought there was no room for anything else. You have made flowers grow where I cultivated dust and stones. Remember this, on this journey you insist on making. If you die, I will not survive you long.

like hello??? ok Shakespeare.

Chapter 17: Deceptions

most of my reactions to this chapter are spoilery and will be below the cut at the end of this post. I like how Thom thinks he could ever have the upper hand with Moiraine. keep dreaming bitch, she's been playing daes dae'mar since the womb.

I'm so repulsed by people calling Min "little girl." ew. also pour one out for Siuan, she might actually have the hardest job in the entire world. not only does she have to deal with 5000 global crises at the same time, the Tower politics are enough to make anyone crazy.

RIP Sahra

Chapter 18: Into the Ways

Perrin and Faile's dynamic is kind of hilarious rn. "I will not leave him. Not even if he is yet too stubborn and foolish to ask a simple favor. Should that be the case, he may still follow me like a lost puppy. I promise to scratch his ears and take care of him." The only way I'm getting through the casual sexism in these books is by laughing about it.

Loial is such a good bro. nothing else to say about this chapter.

Chapter 19: The Wavedancer

so much worldbuilding in this chapter it hurt my head, both about Tear and about the Sea Folk (not even bothering to spell the other name bc I keep getting it wrong). so many prophecies!! it's very cool.

I love Elayne's meltdown seeing a woman's boobs. certified bisexual moment. also love Elayne and Nynaeve's relationship, it feels very "sisters who antagonize the shit out of each other but love each other deeply" to me.

Chapter 20: Winds Rising

Thom is annoying me but whatever. I guess he's on the boat now, sure, fine. I think his relationship dynamic with Elayne/the dramatic irony of her not knowing is kind of dumb and not fun to read.

Elayne boob meltdown part 2, you love to see it. also seeing the Sea Folk channeling was cool.

there's a quote I was going to include in this post, Elayne thinking/talking about Moiraine and Rand's fate, but it's making me too crazy and I think it needs to be its own post. I'll link it here later.

< last | next >

SPOILER THOUGHTS FOR FUTURE BOOKS BELOW

okayyyy so... I learned pretty early on that Thom and Moiraine end up in a romantic relationship. my sapphic Moiraine-loving self was not very pleased about this, and I really hate to say it, but like... I can kind of see it. I like how Thom has a network of informants and is sneaky about getting information and pulling strings, just like Moiraine is.

also Moiraine going in for the leg touch/Healing? bold move and I respect it. I assume she was being a little flirty to destabilize him, and it worked, so good for her.

I guess, TLDR, I'm not entirely opposed and I could see their relationship being set up in a sort of satisfactory way. it's not as random as I thought at first.

#wheel of time #the shadow rising #i'm not tagging the characters in this one there are too many

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adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy · 3 years

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i had a craving for some warm apple cider and it reminded me of etrry. he would fuck that shit up omg omg christian girl fall is totally alienrry he would love going to the apple orchards and shit

The first time he tries a pumpkin spice latte, his feedback makes Y/N’s stomach flutter with endearment.

Harry smack his lips as he savors the spices and cozy notes in the drink, furrowing his brows in thought as he picks through all of the different emotions the taste produces. After a moment, his entire body relaxes, and a homey smile makes its way across his dimpled cheeks. “It tastes the way a warm hug feels.”

Y/N’s lips twitch as she sips from her own drink, letting his interpretation sink in. He’s recently taken to relating flavors to feelings and experiences, and the analogies he conjures up always amuse her to no end. “That was pretty poetic of you.”

Harry simpers over the brim of the coffee cup, hugging it with both hands as indulges another gulp. “Thank you, I think.”

She can’t help but notice how big his hands are— how they easily dwarf the paper mug, and how pretty his nails look covered in sage green polish (she’d painted them that color for the sake of irony, and he’d thought the joke was hilarious). The more she dwells on every detail of his hands— the veins that chisel over the back as he tightens his hold, or the length of his nimble fingers, or the small alien hieroglyphic tattoo along the area between his index finger and thumb— the more her thoughts derail towards the graphic end of the spectrum. Specifically, how he’d had those same hands all over her body the night prior.

How they had been tangled in her hair as they stumbled towards her room blindly, too lost in the sensation of each other’s lips to give anything else much attention. How his hands had felt as they hurriedly coasted down her chest and along the bottom of her sweatshirt, pulling it off in one swift motion so he could taste every inch of her skin, his tongue leaving a sweltering heat along her cleavage. How they had gripped her knees and spread them open as he situated himself onto his stomach on the mattress, a faint white cast sheathing his irises as he’d seen the way she was already dripping in anticipation. How his palms had held her down to the bed as he’d bobbed his head between her thighs, his tongue lapping at her sloppily as he’d moaned into her clit, the sound wet and guttural as his back muscles visibly tightened while she’d tugged at his curls and scratched at his scalp. How one hand had grasped her hip desperately as the other wrapped around her throat, its first two fingers weighing on her tongue as she’d sucked on them feverishly, wisps of his name escaping her throat as he’d pounded raw pleasure into the pit of her tummy. How he’d whimpered and gasped into her ear as his nails dug memories into the skin of her waist, and how she’d caught a glimpse of his fingerprints this morning in the mirror, dusted across her flesh in the form of bruises.

Harry’s voice yanks the girl out of her head. “What are you drinking?”

Y/N isn’t really one to crave coffee during the afternoon, so she’d picked up a bottle of rosé on the way home from grocery shopping, right before going to the drive-through at the nearest Starbucks to get him his beverage. He’d seen a commercial for it on TV the other day, and had expressed his interest for it during breakfast as she’d shoveled scrambled eggs onto a plate while he cut up a green apple across the kitchen island, popping a slice into his mouth while neatly organizing the others along his circular platter. And how could she say no to him, especially when he’d been standing there with such a hopeful look in those olive green puppy eyes, his cheeks puffed out with fruit and her teeth marked all over his neck and chest.

“It’s, uhm—” She clears her throat roughly, expelling the image of Harry’s toned stomach and thick happy trail from her brain. She snaps her gaze up to meet his, and the blissfully unaware innocence behind his tone and over his features makes blood rush to her cheeks. “It’s rosé.”

Harry sets down his cup carefully on her coffee table, shifting further back onto the couch and slouching into the cushions, his legs spreading open casually as he settles in. “That’s a type of alcohol, correct?”

Y/N glances down at his thighs momentarily, where his mesh shorts are riding up dangerously high. “Yep.”

If he notices, he doesn’t to show it, seen in how his accent maintains the same nonchalant curiosity as before. He throws an arm around her shoulders easily, scooting his body closer to her own across the sofa. He’s gotten way touchier since they started sleeping together, and she can’t say she doesn’t like it. She likes it more than she should, probably.

“The same liquid in those spiked ciders you got me last time? The sour one that incapacitates you?”

Y/N scoffs lightly at his accurate description, willingly leaning into his torso and folding her legs up under herself as she props her wine glass on her knee. “Mmhm. But that only happened because you drank the entire pack like a moron, remember?”

Harry rolls his eyes at her chastising tone and flat expression. “How was I supposed to know?”

“Maybe you should have asked me before randomly drinking things from that shelf in the fridge.”

“You were in the shower.”

“You could have waited.”

“I was thirsty.”

“There’s a water filter at the sink.”

“I wanted juice.”

“There was grape juice beside the milk.”

“I wanted apple and the bottles had pictures of them on the label. My apologies for using my practical thinking skills and measures of deduction.”

Y/N sighs in good-natured exasperation, shoving him with her shoulder as revenge for his snarky comebacks. “Well, look where your practical thinking skills and measures of deduction got you— bent over the toilet bowl with puke shooting out of your nostrils. Now you know that anything with the word, ‘alcohol’ on it needs to be taken in moderation. Right?”

“Absolutely.”

“Good.” The young woman takes a sip from her glass, savoring it patiently as the sweet and tangy flavor filters through her taste buds. “Lesson learned, then.”

“Unfortunately.” The alien deadpans, pinching along the underside of her underarm just to feel her squirm and squeak. He smiles childishly at her reaction, giggling as she curses at him under her breath.

“You almost made me spill my drink.” She grumbles, getting comfortable once more against his warm body. “And this is the good stuff, too. I’d break the bottle over your head.”

“A bit rash, I think.” Harry snorts sarcastically, eyeing the pink moscato for a moment as it swishes inside her chilled cup, her fingers leaving smudges in the condensation. He then lilts his gaze back towards her own, his tone soft and full of wonder. “Can I try?”

“Promise not to throw up all over my floor again?” The girl quips tauntingly, jutting her chin towards her rug symbolically.

Harry exhales in surrendered embarrassment, lifting his hand and hooking their pinkies together. “Pinky swear.”

Y/N nods her head in the agreement, fending off a fond grin as she lifts the glass to his plush, rosy lips. “Go ahead, then, Area 51.”

The alien snorts softly at the nickname, well aware of its origins now that he’s learned more about Earth’s relationship with extraterrestrial components. Those documentaries on the Discovery Channel are quite educational.

Harry sifts his mouth over the rim of the glass, making eye contact with Y/N to let her know he’s ready for her to pour the drink in. She tilts the wine, watching it funnel past his lips to gauge how much is an adequate amount. She pulls back, observing as he nurses the liquid pensively, his brows creasing like before as he distinguishes all the different flavors present. He smacks his lips again, blinking slowly as he forms his opinion, licking at a drop that had escaped the corner of his mouth.

“So?” Y/N inquires, raising an eyebrow expectantly. “What’s it taste like?”

Harry cranes his sight over to her, the studious expression on his face melting into one of slight smugness, as if what he’s about to say is something amusing. The left edge of his mouth jolts upwards, a sly smirk carving its way across his face as he presses his tongue along the inside of his cheek almost arrogantly, his eyes raking down her body in an objectifying once-over. His descent stops at her clasped thighs, which he focuses on for a few seconds longer than she deems acceptable, and then his gaze travels back up to lock with her own. There’s now a different type of darkness to the jade swirling around his pupils, electrified by something he has yet to express to her fully, but seems excited to do so.

The young man leans forward, and Y/N almost falls back at the sudden closeness of their proximity. He ghosts his lips over the curve of her jaw and across the slope of her cheekbone, stopping at the shell of her ear as if he wants to share a secret. He drags his pillowy lips over the area with every intention to rile her up, his skin cool and damp from the beverage, but unbelievably warm beneath the initial shock of that caveat. His breath carries the same juxtaposing sensations— it’s cold on impact, but heats up the farther it travels across the side of her face and down to the pulse in her neck. His words are low and heavy, but sultry and smooth like the wine they’d shared; a seductive whisper that intoxicates her in a fiery manner that no amount of alcohol ever could.

“It tastes like sex. It tastes the way you do between your thighs, and it feels the way you feel when I’m buried between your legs. And if I close my eyes and savor it, I can taste you whining my name into my mouth, and I can taste you begging for it on my tongue.”

#alienrry #enjoy <3

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nyxoholicwrites · 2 years

Text

The Tragedy of Orpehus and Eurydice Part II

Xyx x GN! Reader Fanfic

Prompt: A retelling of the classic Greek tragedy of Orpheus’ journey to the Underworld to find his muse, Eurydice, but alas not every hero’s journey ends cheerfully.

Part I Part II

Notes: Writing this and listening to Hadestown definitely hit me in the feels. For those unaware, it's a musical based on the myth so def check it out! “..” indicates speech, ‘...’ indicates thought.

TW: Death, Negative thoughts, and more Death

QUICK WARNING THIS FIC IS MORE ANGSTY AND LONGER THAN THE LAST, I AM APOLOGIZING IN ADVANCE

Many search for a purpose in life, a goal or motivation that would be a driving force in one’s actions, something that would get you to get out of bed and live. Everyone had a unique purpose, not one was the same. There are thousands of poems, epics, and stories based on journeys with purpose or a search for one, but the elders and scholars failed to teach us what to do when we lose that purpose. These thoughts were swirling in the grieving poet’s mind, thoughts plagued with a sadness so deep and his heart, so cold and unfeeling, that had used to beat for another, now only grieved. Who was he without his muse? What is a musician without passion? What is a writer without inspiration? They are all no one, for the talent they possess cannot be expressed and given to the world without these things.

Xyx’s feline companion tried to comfort him with its soft fur, constantly pawing at his lyre, hopelessly trying to have the poor man’s soul rest and set free through the beat of a melody. The effort was always fruitless, for the lyre would be a reminder of what he once had, his only passion in life, his will to live, Y/n. Under the soft pale light of Artemis' moon, he would dream of the time spent between the two lovers. The fondest of all was the day they had visited a field of hyacinths, a flower that was dedicated to the passing of his father’s love, prince Hyacinth. The irony of the situation hadn’t been lost on him as he let out a flat chuckle, maybe it was in the family to suffer so.

He remembered it like it was yesterday, surrounded by a field of violet and rose pink hyacinths, their smile wide as day, twirling the poor cat who had no chance of escaping their tight grip. If he could beg Hypnos to make his sleep last forever, he would take the chance without an ounce of hesitation, just so he could hold his beloved for all of eternity. As he had looked into the distance with a dejected gaze, he spotted a chariot of gold and flame, one that burned as bright as the sun itself, but such a warmth hadn’t caused pain, it felt oddly familiar.

As the mighty horses had pulled with such haste, they eventually halted in front of the curious soul and a man stepped out, his father, Apollo. With a gentle gaze, the sun god held out his arms, “ Son, my dear Xyx, Helios informed me of your tragedy and I have come to offer you my deepest condolences. I know you are filled with thoughts of them, but, fret no more for I come with a solution.” He stared at the man before him, “ A solution? I find it hilarious how after all these years do you only now come to visit. The gods sure love playing the saviour in a mortal’s time of need, do you all possess a sadistic urge for tragedy?” His voice dripped with sarcasm and resentment, his father, the “mighty” Apollo, had never been around when Xyx needed him most when he was but a small child, but yet now that he has grown does he appear?

‘ Oh, how blessed am I to have such a capable father.’ “ Son, I know I haven’t been around much-” “ Much? I know time works differently for you immortals but twenty-nine years isn’t exactly a small amount for me.” His emerald orbs bore into the man towering over him, “ And I am truly sorry for that, however, I think you would prefer to let out your issues with me with your love by your side?” His body froze in shock, what had he just said? Surely he must be joking, right? His jaw dropped, ‘ No, they are dead, does his old man like playing cruel jokes on him? Does he find this hilarious?’

“I know this may come as a shock to you but I had visited Toasty and asked him to grant you an audience, there you may plead for your case and perhaps bring your love back.” The once lifeless and dull eyes had held a speck of hope, the chance to reunite with his beloved had come and so, his stiff posture crumbled like a stone as his knees fell to the ground. For weeks now he had thought he was forever lost, doomed to roam this realm alone without purpose, without his lovely muse to inspire his passion for song.

The god before him had softened his gaze in pity, losing a lover wasn’t unfamiliar to him, but knowing that perhaps his son might get a chance he never could have brought a small smile to his face. He bent down to meet his son's eyes, his golden eyes shined like a beacon of hope in Xyx’s darkened sight. “ Now, surely you wouldn’t want them to see you so,” he helped Xyx back onto his feet, “Get up, go find your life’s purpose and bless the world with your melody.” The brunette mumbled a small thank you, as he had grabbed his lyre and set off onto another journey, he had no time to shed tears, for now, it was time to be a hero and set his love free. He marched for seven days and seven nights until finally, he arrived at the gloomy gates of the Underworld, a place where souls went to rest or endure their punishment for their heinous crimes and offences.

He stood still for a moment, taking a much-needed breath as he prepared to set off into the land of the dead, something he expected to happen one day, but perhaps not so soon. Inside the cavern there was no light, his father’s glorious sun hadn’t shone even a small ray of its light, the only source to guide him where the brightly lit torches as they clung to the walls. The ominous aura gave him a shiver to his spine, although his body begged him to leave as he felt the small touches of the dead souls around him, he would not run away. He was ready to endure torture, the most painful punishment known to mankind as long as he got the chance to hold Y/n in a soft embrace. As he walked further, he entered the throne room of the Underworld’s king, violets and the blues of the night sky decorated the palace as he spotted Toasty sitting on the throne with Queen June by his side.

The two were truly opposites, while they wore a black tunic decorated with silver detailing and a bored expression on their face, the smiling ruler beside had a soft minty colour tunic with flowers filing every surface of the fabric. Xyx would have usually poked fun at the couple's obvious differences, but his longing for Y/n was much stronger than any urge to tease the king before him. “ It seems Apollo wasn’t sputtering nonsense, as usual, I assume you are here for Y/n?” “ That is correct your majesty, I am but a humble musician here to take his spouse back as any rational husband would.” Toasty sighed, why must he always deal with stubborn mortals? He is busy enough as it is, but perhaps he could use a break and entertain the determined poet's idea. “ I would call it foolish than rational but alright, tell me why should I let them go? None of the other souls get this chance so why are they so deserving?”

Xyx’s mind blanked, he hadn’t had the time to think of this situation, his thoughts were filled with fond memories of them and all they had been through together, Gods he truly knew how to mess things up huh? Toasty’s stern stare wasn’t helping either, from their stature to their wardrobe, all of it could tell you who was in charge. The place grew quiet as the gears in his mind kept turning till his inside voices were interrupted by one louder than anything his mind could muster, “Toasty! You shouldn’t be so cruel to him! This poor soul lost someone he held dear, wait… I know how you can prove yourself!” The king raised his eyebrow, what could a mortal such as him do to prove worthy of such a thing? He may have godly parentage but he was not above the very souls that came through the ebony gates. “ Why don’t you sing us a song?” the queen continued, “I have heard many tales from the nymphs above of the beautiful music you play, I’m sure that with the very gift you have been blessed you will be granted your wish!”

Toasty couldn’t help but sigh, that was their queen alright, always willing to lend a hand to a lost soul, had it been up to her the Underworld would have been as empty as the wine pitcher of Dionysus. “ Alright fine, I will bite. Sing us a song, make me laugh, make me weep, only if you succeed will I grant you your muse.” Xyx felt a whirlwind of emotion, on one hand, he was sure he knew how to play but, he couldn’t help but doubt his skills, ‘Do I have what it takes to make him feel something, a creature who has been exposed to many tragedies for centuries?” He had to hold his composure, but the anxiety gnawed at his stomach, ‘ Should I fail I would have practically caused their death twice, I already failed them, how could I live knowing it was my fault? I cannot allow that to happen. I will not screw this up.’

“On one condition.” Toasty stated with a voice that had practically commanded even the smallest of whispers to cease, “ Should you succeed, you will be tasked with taking them to the surface, however, under no condition must you turn back. Am I understood?” He nodded his head and placed the lyre in front of his body, he slowly started strumming, something he hadn’t done in what felt like decades. The melody was soft, his song spoke of the love he felt upon seeing Y/n, the tune along with his voice narrated a story of their love, all the moments they shared, the stolen kisses under the olive tree, and the countless teasing of the loving couple. But then, the song grew quiet for a moment, he spoke of that day. The day he lost everything.

The strings strummed in a rush motion illustrating the chase and capturing of Y/n, everyone in the throne room could feel the same anxiety they felt that day, the utter fear and terror that plagued their veins. The melody then told of their death, his fingers hesitantly strumming as he tried to hold back the grief he had been reminded of, he couldn’t cry, he mustn't, at least not now. Xyx sang his grieving heart out, the strings sung in unison with him, of the suffering he felt during all this time, and of the longing he felt for them to be in his arms again. And finally, the throne room grew quiet again, till he heard the soft sobbing of June, with his eyes facing the two silver thrones he saw not only the queen crying but the king had also failed to keep his composure as small water droplets escaped their eyes.

“ Oh! That was beautiful! I have never in all my years heard such a bittersweet tune, to not have your wish granted would only further break my heart.” She sobbed between her sweet words, too overwhelmed with emotion to stop herself. “ Seeing as though the queen has liked your song, and I must admit, so have I, I shall grant you your wish. But beware of what I had told you beforehand.” The two rulers had softly brushed each other's tears away, showing their love in such a small yet intimate act. “ They will be behind you, remember, do not look back. Or else they will be gone once more.” Xyx was overjoyed, he had come so far and his journey was a success, surely a small walk back to the realm of the living wouldn’t be that bad. As he walked he hummed a small tune, the song the two lovebirds sang whenever they were together, one that never failed to make Gaia weep with joy.

As he sang the soft melody, his mind wandered elsewhere, doubt comes in. The ultimate ruin of man is never a painful cut from a blade, nor the bite of a dog, but rather, his mind is enough to lead him to doom. ‘What if he tricked me? What if I was played a fool and nothing is behind me? Surely they wouldn’t be so cruel? But wait he was the king of the underworld, trickery is familiar to them.’ He tried to keep the little bit of hope he had left, but like a flame, it flickered out and vanished. “ You aren’t there are you Y/n? I’m probably talking to myself, I screwed up everything anyway, maybe meeting Toasty was a form of punishment for casting you into this hell…”

His feet felt heavier, no longer was his strides confident, but cautious, he tried to continue, but ultimately he stopped. “ I am a fool for thinking this could ever work. I know they aren’t there so I will say it now while I can. Thank you Toasty! For making me even more miserable than I was before! All of you gods are cruel creatures and I shall prove you right!” As the words escaped his lips, he turned around. “ Fuck.” He stopped and stared at the figure in front of him, it was them, his beloved, his Y/n. Their figure was translucent, with hints of their (skin colour) skin, replacing the ghastly colour of before. “ Xyx, I hope you know that I will always love you.” They approached him and welcomed him into their embrace, while he stood there, flabbergasted at what he had done. “ Y/n, I- I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to I-” “It’s alright my love, perhaps the fates will reunite us in another life.”

They placed a final kiss on his lips as they began to fade into the darkness of the cavern. During these last moments, the two embraced each other, for this would truly be their last time to do so. Time didn’t spare them as within a matter of seconds their body faded, and Xyx held nothing. He was alone yet again, he had failed them once more as he had predicted. All he was ever good for was causing screwups, he was to blame all of it was his fault he thought. In wild despair he ran back into the living world, his body forming long strides along the green valleys, across fields and meadows till he approached a cliff. He sat there for a few minutes as he stared into the cerulean lake below.

Taken by the deep emptiness within his heart he did the only thing he was ever good at, he took out his lyre and sang. This song was different from the others, this was no tale of love or loss, but rather the melody captured what emptiness felt like, what being soulless was and how nothing had meaning, no emotion behind the words that he sang. As he and his lyre sang, a few steps behind him were a group of followers of the god none other than Dionysus. Their words slurred as their cups filled what seemed an endless amount of wine, their giggles and laughter were the only things that could be heard until their happy expressions turned somber.

Who was playing such a somber tune around them? Today is a happy day, not one to mope around! “ Oi! You there! Stop playing that awful tune! If you are gonna play something, play something happy!” He ignored their angry shouts, too focused on his song, nothing mattered in his life anymore, he was already a monster, and ignoring them wouldn’t be that big of a deal. Anger filled their veins more so than the alcohol that had consumed their mind and rationality and so, like the furries of the underworld they delivered a swift stab.

His body had never felt such a burning pain, but even before he took his dying breath, he stared into the river once more, singing the same song he had heard before he was truly left with nothing, “ Come what may, I will love you till my dying day...” The world had lost its musician, mother earth, her creations and the gods themselves had wept that day. They had all experienced the tragic story of the talented Xyx for one last time, no other human could ever replace what had been lost. Maybe the two lovers would meet in another life, where their love would only further bloom as it had done before.

#blooming panic #bp xyx #bp nakedtoaster #x reader #IM SO SORRY I HAD TO MAKE IT MORE ANSGTY #bloomic

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mittensmorgul · 3 years

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it’s a bummer to see you can’t enjoy the ending. I hope someday you can come around it it. It wasn’t perfect but it didn’t nuke its integrity. i think the heart of the show really shines through and it’s a shame that it’s not being appreciated bc there’s so much shipping drama 😣

Hi there!

I... first of, I really need people to understand this... the travesty of the finale for me has almost nothing to do with “shipping drama.”

Yes, I see the wild conspiracy theories flying around, and I’m honestly concerned for some of those folks and hope they can find a way to make peace with this in whatever way they can, because we aren’t likely to ever get a better answer than that this is legitimately the ending that Dabb thought was best, despite years of us seeing the best of his writing choices and guiding Sam, Dean, and Cas to grow past the roles that Chuck would’ve forced them to fulfill, and that at the end it fell flat because he couldn’t actually come up with a better ending than “this was always their destiny, free will is a lie, and these characters had nothing outside of the revenge quest they’d been raised for since birth and manipulated into over and over for the entertainment of a vengeful god.”

I can see how “surface level” viewers would feel that this one basic narrative point was satisfying, that Sam and Dean had grown beyond their own hopeless cycle of self-sacrifice that had driven the narrative for so many years. The fact that they both acknowledged that they should allow their stories to end in that way was satisfying... but only in the shallowest and most detached read of the narrative. Like, is this really the ONLY thing these two characters learned in the last 15 years? If so, that is BEYOND depressing af.

And even THAT message lost all narrative weight when the two of them were once again reunited in death, as if nothing else had ever mattered in their lives. As if neither of them had ever outgrown the codependency that had driven so many of those previous self-sacrifices and refusals to let go of each other even in death.

So yeah, in the absolute most basic sense, I suppose I can see how casual viewers or people who aren’t actually invested in these characters could find that at least narratively coming back to a starting point.

But narratives don’t actually work that way, and that’s not the point of watching fifteen years of story develop in between.

This story wasn’t JUST about Sam and Dean needing to accept that death might be okay actually.

This story was also about free will, fighting for humanity as a whole but also their OWN humanity and self-identities. In Dean’s case, the absolutely transformative growth from feeling like nothing but a hammer, a killer, a tool to be used. And then less than an episode and a half later, after finally accepting that truth into his heart and using it to defeat the original creator and reclaim the story of his own life for himself... he gets pied in the face after flippantly talking about his destiny and having no choice, and then three scenes later he literally dies impaled on a great big nail... like a hammer...

So I would kindly ask folks who feel satisfied by that shallowest possible takeaway of this episode, and maybe invite folks to look just under that surface. Try to understand why loads of us will NEVER feel satisfied with this ending, and why it truly does feel like the most hopeless version of the story. Like even in defeating Chuck, they could never be allowed to own their own stories and what happened to them after that point was just a twisted version of the “destiny” that drove Chuck’s entire plotline for them anyway.

Please understand where we’re seeing this as horrifically painful irony rather than some beautiful circular narrative about letting go.

For a lot of us, the shipping stuff would’ve been the cherry on top of the sundae. We would’ve been happy with a scoop of plain vanilla, though. We would’ve been happy for anything that honored the journey to freedom, and the choice at any sort of a different life of their own making than literally falling back on a nail fighting off one of John’s unresolved hunts and a vampire who had literally never been named in canon before, yet who Dean instantly recognized somehow...

but sure, for those of us who felt that “the heart of the show” was all the stuff that the finale actually erased-- that “family don’t end in blood,” and that this was actually not a show about just two brothers but the love of their found family and coming to terms with the choices they actually HAD made for themselves versus the narrative that Chuck kept centering them in DESPITE what they would choose for themselves, the finale basically told us no, everything you ever found of value in this story actually meant nothing. It told us that Chuck’s story for them was their only truth in the end, and their only freedom was to be found in death.

Please, I am begging people, stop trying to gaslight us that this was some beautiful ending. Maybe think for a second that “your read” of the narrative that allows you to find peace with the ending is not what we saw and loved about this story for the 326 episodes leading up to this finale.

And please try to understand that we were not wrong to see the entire narrative through this lens. Because we were literally validated IN CANON, and told that we understood the depth of the story and the characters just fine, actually. There’s literally ONE episode of the entire series that burns it all down in a bewildering pile of wtf. And that’s #327. That throws that entire read out the window to well actually us all back into Chuck’s literal ending... This was literally the ending Chuck wanted to force them to enact for him, and it’s what ended up happening even after they defeated him-- the ultimate Big Bad of the entire series should’ve been defeated, but instead he pulled off one final victory over the entire story.

Becky: No. You can't-- Chuck: I did. Becky: Y- This is just an ending. Chuck: Yeah. I don't know how I'm gonna get there, but I know where I'm goin'. Becky: B-But it's so... dark. Chuck: But great, right? I can see it now -- "Supernatural: The End". And the cover is just a gravestone that says "Winchester". The fans are gonna love it. Well? Becky: It's awful! Horrible. It's hopeless. You can't do this to the fans. What you did to Dean? What you did to Sam? Chuck: There, see? It's making you feel something. That's good, right?

and

Dean: Well, what now? You're not gonna dust us. Chuck: Oh, yeah? Why not? Dean: Because you're holding out. For your big finish. Yeah, we know about your galaxy-brained idea, how you think this story is gonna go. Sam got a little look into your draft folder. Chuck: Sam's visions -- they weren't drafts. They were memories. My memories. Other Sams and other Deans in other worlds. But guess what. Just like you, they didn't think they'd do it, either. But they did. And you will, too. Dean: No. Not this Sam. And not this Dean. So you go back to Earth 2 and play with your other toys. Because we will never give you the ending that you want. Chuck: We'll see.

And even in DEFEAT Chuck thought he understood these characters, thought that having rendered him powerless they would finally take their revenge and kill him, but they didn’t, because he never actually understood these characters at all. And the story he tried to force them into from day one was never about THEM, it was about HIM.

And then Dean gets like two whole days of freedom and choice and is apparently incapable of making any of the choices that don’t throw him immediately back into Chuck’s favorite story. Like none of that resolution in the previous episode meant anything at all. He even SAYS it in the finale:

Dean: Yeah, no. I think about 'em, too. You know what? That pain's not gonna go away. Right? But if we don't keep living, then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing.

And then two scenes later the show gives us the Nelson Muntz HA HA and Dean is no longer living, and Sam is left to carry on as a shell of himself and wander off into Blurry Wife Land to devote any even remotely content moment of the rest of his years to raising a Replacement Dean to fill the void, and is never able to pick up the pen to write anything better of his own life than Chuck would’ve dealt him in the first place.

So I’m glad that top-layer takeaway is sustaining and enough for you. It wasn’t, and will never be enough for the rest of us.

What was actually real in all of this? We were.

Until we weren’t.

And that’s honestly a shit message to be pushing on people in the wake of it all. So please stop.

I should actually thank you for the kind intent with which your message is phrased, but that doesn’t make it feel less hilariously awful. Though I chose this one to reply to as the least insulting of all the messages currently in my inbox on this subject. So thanks for that, at least.

#spn 15.20 #aka that one episode of supernatural that doesn't really exist #because you either get to have the first 326 or the finale #they're literally narratively incompatible in all but the shallowest possible takeaway here #i chose the other 326 because those are where the actual heart of the show lies #it was set on fire and buried in 327 #Anonymous

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