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forest-hashira · 3 months

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'Til Death Do Us Part

hi everyone! this is my (first) entry for @kentopedia's "Love Through the Ages" collab/event! this is a retelling of the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, but with Gojo/Reader. if you want to know the full vibes for this, i listened to Moon Song and I Know The End by Phoebe Bridgers on repeat while writing this.

read on ao3 here | wc: ~3.3k | cw: gn reader, satoru is a musician, major character death (reader), hurt no comfort, unhappy ending

Falling in love with you was easy. In fact, it was probably the easiest thing Satoru had ever done in his life; even easier than picking up the lyre as soon as he was strong enough to hold it; even easier than the singing lessons he’d outgrown the need for when he was still just a young boy; easier than charming every young woman he ever came across, leaving a long string of broken hearts in his wake.

But not you.

With you, he’d taken his time, had actually gotten to know you until it felt like he’d known you all his life; he knew your favorite season, what times you liked to take walks in the fields outside of town, even your favorite place to watch the sunset. He also knew that you were the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Falling in love with you was easy, and even after you’d fallen in love with him, too, asking you to marry him felt terrifying. But you said yes, and all that terror had melted into elation.

There was hardly any time at all between your engagement and your wedding, both of you eager to belong to each other forever, so in love it was almost painful. Though the wedding itself was small – and barely a month after Satoru proposed – it was the most joyful day in both of your lives. Being surrounded by the laughter of your loved ones, everyone dancing and enjoying good food and dancing had made you feel lighter than air, even long after the sun had set; for once, you weren’t even sad that you had missed watching it from your favorite spot.

Falling in love with you was easy. Loving you was easier. Losing you was the most painful thing Satoru had ever experienced.

It was only days after your wedding, after you had promised to be at one another’s side until the end, in the very field where you’d first told him you loved him, where you’d shared your first kiss.

You had cried out from a sharp pain in your ankle, and when both of you looked to see what it was, you watched a large snake disappear into the flowers. In a panic, Satoru had ripped the fabric of his tunic, wrapping it tightly around the wound, silently, desperately praying that the poison would move slow enough for him to get you back to the town, where he could only hope someone would know how to cure snake bites. He couldn’t lose you, not like this, not so soon after he’d made you his.

When he’d gone to carry you – to pick you up and rush back to town with you in his arms – he had seen your skin was already an unnaturally pale, ashen color, a sheen of sweat over your whole body.

“No,” he’d whispered, shaking his head, as if that would magically give him more time to save you. “No, no no no.”

You’d only smiled at him, though your eyes were already starting to go a little unfocused. “It’s too late, my love.” Your hands had tangled in the front of his tunic, the soft blue fabric crumpling so easily between your fingers. “But this isn’t such a bad place to die, is it? I’m with you, and the flowers are blooming, and the sun is shining.” With every word, you’d had to lean more and more of your weight into him, your legs losing strength by the second.

“Let’s just sit together for a moment, my love, and enjoy the breeze. I don’t want to be scared when I go.”

The words had nearly shattered Satoru, but he had nodded, easing both of you down to lay amongst the flowers, cradling you close to himself the whole time. He’d stared down at you without blinking, unwilling to miss a single heartbeat of the time he had left with you; the fact that you had looked up at him, too, was both a blessing and a curse.

“Don’t go,” he’d pleaded, throat tight with the tears he was fighting back. “I don’t want you to go. I love you.”

“I know,” you’d whispered back. “I don’t want to go, either. I love you, Satoru, and I wish we had more time, but we don’t.”

“It’s not fair.”

“No,” you’d agreed, a bittersweet smile on your lips. “It’s not fair. But neither is life. And I’m happy to have spent as much of mine with you as I got to.”

Words had failed him then, and he’d leaned down to press one last kiss to your lips, knowing deep down that this would be his last chance. And he had been right; you’d managed to return his kiss for a moment, before going completely still in his arms.

Satoru had stayed in that field with you and wept for hours after the warmth left your body, only forcing himself to stand and take both of you back to town when it began to grow dark and a chill drifted in on the breeze you had been so eager to feel in your last moments.

And so, he had carried you home, his eyes red-rimmed and swollen from crying, but his face otherwise blank, too numb to feel even grief at that moment. No one that saw him had tried to stop him, the sight of the typically lively musician so hollow, so quiet, had left everyone shaken.

The days after your death all blurred together; the only one that stuck out significantly from the others was the day of your funeral, because it was the only time he’d cleaned himself up and left the house, and even that was because Satoru knew he was expected to be there, the grieving husband to round out the picture of a Perfect Funeral. It had made him sick, and he’d excused himself as quickly as possible.

He spent much of his time crying, or staring at the wall, or ceiling, replaying that last afternoon with you, obsessing over how he could have done things differently, how he could have saved you, even if he knew logically it was pointless; what was done could not be undone, especially not death.

…Could it?

Once Satoru had the thought, he could not bring himself to abandon it, so he began instead to meticulously detail his plan.

The days were already growing colder, which meant that Lady Persephone had returned to her husband’s realm of the Underworld; perhaps he would be able to use that to his advantage.

Satoru had a purpose again, something to get him out of bed and moving; he had a goal to achieve, and no earthly force would stop him. He spent days polishing and tuning his instruments, and days longer composing and perfecting a song to play for the King and Queen of the Underworld; if he was going to convince the keepers of the dead to release one of their charges, everything needed to be perfect.

He was vaguely aware that a couple people – Suguru and Shoko, perhaps? Anything outside of his task was fuzzy at best – came to check on him occasionally, just as they had before he had manically begun to prepare to do the impossible. If they tried to talk him out of it, he can’t remember; even if they had tried, it wouldn’t have worked. His sole focus was on getting you back, and nothing would stand in his way.

By the time Satoru felt he had done everything he could to prepare for his journey, almost two weeks had passed since you’d died in his arms.

Your husband dressed warmly, both because he was unsure what to expect in the Underworld and because having your scarf wrapped around his neck gave him confidence that his plan would work; how could it not, when wearing the scarf wreathed him in your scent, as if you were already back with him again?

The sun was barely up when Satoru left your home, his lyre wrapped carefully in muslin and tucked into his bag. He knew the entrance to the Underworld was close enough to walk, but he didn’t know how long it would take him to get there, and he didn’t want to waste any time at all. Though he had left so early in the morning, there were still a few townspeople that saw him, asked him where he was going, but he ignored them all; conversation would only delay his journey, and he wouldn’t have that.

The musician made good time, all things considered, reaching the entrance to the Underworld about an hour past midday. He paused for a moment, took a deep breath to steel himself, then stepped forwards into the darkness.

He had no torch to light his way, but the path beneath his feet seemed to glow on its own, as if guiding him along; as if the Lord and Lady were expecting and didn’t want to be kept waiting because the foolish mortal lost his way. So, seeing no other option, he followed the soft, almost foggy glow as it led him deeper and deeper into the earth and – hopefully – to the throne room of Hades and Persephone.

Time didn’t quite feel the same below the surface – it felt thicker, somehow, and heavier, catching on his clothes and sticking to his skin like honey – which meant he had no idea how long he’d been walking. The only thing that kept him from panicking was the faintest scent of pomegranates, coming from the same direction the path seemed to lead.

Eventually, Satoru did reach the throne room, though he couldn’t have recalled what it looked like later if his life depended on it. For as much as he looked around, the whole room could have been made of diamonds and liquid gold could have rained from the ceiling; none of that mattered to him, because it had nothing to do with you. His gaze went straight to the couple in their thrones, and he fought to keep his nerves under control; now was not the moment to get stage fright for the first time in his life.

“Your Highness,” he said, bowing so low he felt the way his hair shifted to cooperate with gravity, the dusty purple of his undercut no longer hidden beneath the pale strands of his frosty hair, so white it practically glowed in the dusk of the throne room.

“What brings you to my realm, mortal?” Hades asked, his expression impassive, though his eyes simmered with something dangerous.

“I have come to play you a song,” Satoru answered simply, standing from his bow and removing his lyre from his bag, unwrapping the fabric from around it with great care. He adjusted his hold on the instrument until it sat nestled in his arms in the best position for him to play, then lifted his gaze back to the gods. “If it pleases my Lord and her Ladyship, of course.”

This was the one catch in his plan: if he was denied permission to play, he had no chance of returning home with you at his side.

“Oh, please?” Persephone turned to face her husband, a pleading expression on her face. “Let him play, my love. We never have mortal visitors, much less artists, and I want to hear what he’s prepared for us!”

The King of the Dead hesitated for a few moments, staring at his wife, but Satoru caught the way his smoldering eyes softened, the way the hard lines of his mouth eased, and the musician knew he would be allowed to play.

“My wife wishes to hear you play,” the god said, turning back to the man before him. “I hope you don’t disappoint her with your skills.”

With another, smaller bow, Satoru began to play, and soon thereafter began to sing. He sang about you: all the ways you loved him, and all the ways he loved you in return. He sang of his life before he met you: how he had played around, led people along and broken their hearts with his carelessness, simply because he was bored. He sang of your lives after you’d met: how you had brightened his mornings and sweetened his days and warmed his nights; how you had planned a future together you had never gotten to see. The harmonies from his lyre blended with the melodies of his voice, painting the image of you so vividly Satoru swore he could see your shape in front of him again.

It wasn’t until he finished his song that he realized he could see you there in front of him, though your form wavered around the edges, like you were a little less than solid. But you were there, and you were smiling, and he felt like falling to his knees and crawling to you right then and there; the only thing that stopped him was realizing that both Hades and Persephone were openly weeping.

He, Gojo Satoru, had brought gods to tears with his music, and with his love for you.

Emboldened by seeing your face again, Satoru spoke. “Please,” he begged, his voice eggshell-thin, cracking under the stress of his request. “Please don’t make me return home without my love. I cannot bear to make the journey alone again.”

At first he received only silence in response, and though he was not a patient man by nature, he forced himself to wait until he was spoken to, not wanting to risk upsetting the gods before him.

“Once a soul has entered the Underworld, it cannot be allowed to leave again,” Hades responded once he had composed himself, which felt like years after Satoru had made his plea. “I am very sorry.”

The musician felt his heart sink at the denial, and he began to consider begging to be allowed to stay, instead, if he couldn’t bring you back with him.

“Oh, please, my love,” Persephone cried, messily wiping the tears from her eyes as she gazed at her husband. “You let me go home again when my mother begged for my return. Why can’t you grant him this same mercy?”

“Because order must be maintained,” the Lord of the Underworld answered. “Rules must be followed, you know this. Your own return home has its own rules, after all.”

“Then give me rules I must abide by. I swear I will follow them as faithfully as possible.” Though he knew interrupting a conversation between gods could be dangerous, Satoru simply could not stop the words from tumbling from his lips.

“Please.” The goddess’s voice was petal-soft, a warm, hopefully breeze cutting through the chill of the Underworld.

The silence was heavy, crushing the air out of every part of the room, suffocating the musician where he stood. Despite the pain, Satoru only had eyes for you, your warm gaze giving him the strength to push through, to wait for Hades’s answer before completely giving up hope.

“If I let you both return to the surface world,” the god’s voice, though low and rough, rang out clear. “You must follow one rule.”

“Only one?” It seemed too good to be true.

“It is a difficult one.”

“Anything,” Satoru rushed out. “I’ll do anything.”

“You will lead the two of you out of the Underworld, but until you both are on the surface again, out of my domain, you are not to turn around. I promise you will not be alone, that you will return with your love, but you must not turn around before you leave this place. If you turn around, you will have to leave here alone, and you will never be allowed to return until your own death.”

“If I’m not allowed to turn around, are we at least allowed to speak to each other?”

“Yes, you can converse on the journey. Now, take your lover and go. Once you leave the throne room you must keep your back turned at all times until you reach the surface.”

Bowing deeply, Satoru thanked the god profusely for several moments, then straightened and stepped forward, reaching out and taking your hands, helping you from where you sat on the floor of the throne room.

“Let’s go home,” you said, smiling so sweetly at him it made his teeth ache. He nodded eagerly in agreement, taking just a moment longer to take in your features before guiding you to the entrance of the throne room.

“Are you ready?” he asks, turning to you one last time as the two of you stand in the threshold. “I’m not sure how long the journey back is, and if you grow tired we can’t stop.”

“I’m ready when you are,” was your answer, giving his hand a light squeeze to show you meant the words.

Satoru nodded back, once again pausing to admire your face, your smile, everything about you, before turning away, still holding your hand as he stepped out of the throne room and began the trek back to the surface, back home.

He was silent for a bit at first, feeling your hand in his enough to assure him you were there, but eventually both his nerves and his natural chattiness got the better of him. He said almost every thought that came to his mind, though he tried to make sure to ask as many questions as possible, eager to hear your answers, your sweet voice a soothing balm to his raw and frayed nerves.

The journey felt shorter this time around, though whether that was because he was retracing his footsteps, or some other strange property of time in the Underworld, Satoru couldn’t be sure. He wasn’t going to complain about it, either, because not turning to look at you was proving much more difficult than he had thought when he was first given the rule.

When he finally saw the entrance to the surface, sunlight still visible on the horizon, a beaming grin broke out across his face. “We’re nearly there,” he told you. “See? We’ve nearly made it.” Unable to help himself, he picked up his pace, still pulling you along behind him.

He didn’t notice your hand slipping from his own as he closed the last few paces to the entrance.

His joy was palpable as he practically leapt through the gates, back onto the surface, into the grass that waited for him as the sun began to set behind him.

“We did it!” Satoru cheered, spinning around to look at you. “Oh, my love, it feels so good to have you—” The sight of your sad smile had his gaze dropping to your feet.

You hadn’t yet crossed over the threshold.

And he had turned around and looked at you.

“No,” he begged, racing towards you, desperate for at least one last kiss, one last embrace, even if he could not keep you with him. “Please, my love, I’m so sorry.”

Before he could reach out and touch you, though, your shape had already begun to waver, rippling like the surface of a pool disturbed by the wind. You only shook your head, your smile never leaving your lips. “It’s okay,” you assured him. “I love you. I’ll see you again someday. Live well for me, okay?”

“I-I’ll try,” he choked out, tears thick in his voice even before they spilled from his eyes, though there was no stopping them as your form wavered more, then faded fully from sight.

He fell to his knees and wept, loud, heaving sobs, gripping handfuls of grass as he pressed his forehead to the ground, forced to mourn you a second time.

ok so this was baby's first sad ending/hurt no comfort so pls don't come for me if it was bad i'm so sorry idk how to do this i don't like sad endings but this is my favorite myth i couldn't bring myself to change the ending

tagging: @kentopedia @kentohours @mitsuristoleme

#gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo jjk #jjk gojo #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #gojo angst #jjk au #jjk angst #jjk x reader #jjk fanfiction #jjk fanfic #jjk reader insert #orpheus and eurydice #orpheus & eurydice #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #dividers credit to saradika & cafe kitsune #fallon's fics

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okkotsuus · 9 months

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CHASING MEMORIES (satoru g. + suguru g.) !

features: satoru gojo ... suguru geto

contents: tw. spoilers. death. major character death. reader death. grief. loss. blood. descriptions of wounds. crying. unrequited love. killing. toxic relationship (technically). 1.5k words.

tagging: @saeonara

notes: this is lowk doodoo poopy but idc i wrote it at 1am as a cry for help, someone save me from stsg angst brainrot.

loving suguru geto is the kind of experience that is ingrained into every fiber of your being. it works its way into every waking thought. it contaminates every last drop of cursed energy in your body. loving suguru geto is an all consuming thing: more potent than any disease to every afflict a human.

the way his eyes shine when they finally reach you. the way his voice sings your name like the sound of the morning birds. the sound of his laughter that choruses like windchimes. these things never leave you. no matter how hard you may try.

this is a truth to this world that satoru gojo would learn far too late.

many things had caught satoru gojo unaware during his youth: toji fushiguro’s strength, riko amanai’s death, and suguru’s defection. but once he reached twenty-seven, he had thought that he had it all figured out.

he was the strongest sorcerer, untouchable. he had a class full of students that would be able to lead the world one day. but most importantly, he had you.

you who lights up his world like the damn sun. you who is the single person he turns off his infinity for. you who he is able to allow his muscles to untense around. to satoru gojo, you were the world and every good thing in it; everything he ever needed and ever will need.

but, to you, satoru gojo was a stand-in. he would not realize this until that fateful day: the day he was caught unassuming once again.

satoru gojo looks upon high school with a fond sense of nostalgia, missing what was once. the only thing he doesn’t miss was your disregard to him. the you who would flutter around suguru like he was the earth to your moon. the you who looked at him with that sense of utter adoration in your e/c eyes. the you who loved his best friend and didn’t even think of him as a friend.

it was satoru gojo’s idea to not call you to help he and suguru with protecting the star plasma vessel, despite your cursed technique being the one thing that could have insured her life. oyt of jealousy, he wanted to part you and suguru for but three days. he would regret that decision for the rest of his mortal life.

when riko amanai died, a sense of guilt flooded him: knowing she died because of his selfishness. but suguru felt the same for himself: despite it being everything but his fault. satoru didn’t see it until it was far too late. but you did.

you saw the tire in suguru’s eyes as the light in him died. you saw him begin to wither away, not lifting a fork to raise sustenance to his mouth unless you practically begged him to. you saw the way his hair and skin grew dull, lips cracking and oozing saccharine lifeblood. it was only you that was able to see him spiral from the very beginning.

then, that night when suguru left for that mission in the countryside: deep down, you knew he would not return. because you knew suguru geto in the way that newborn babies know how to breathe. in the way that the plants know the sun’s sweet, amber glow. in the way that the river rocks knew the gentle lap of crystal-blue rapids. you knew suguru geto in the way that nobody would ever know anything.

and that’s what made it hurt.

for a long while, you found yourself unable to do anything after he left. you would find yourself switching between crying in shoko and satoru’s arms, even masamichi on rare occasions. to you, suguru was the world. you thought of suguru how satoru thought of you.

what you didn’t know, was that suguru had tried to come back for you. on a night where you weeped against satoru’s blazer for the nth hour, suguru geto was at the window. but satoru knew, his six eyes picked him up almost instantly. again, he chose to be selfish, clutching you tighter where suguru could see. satoru doesn’t recognize the person he was during this exact moment: breaking his own best friend’s heart and preventing his one love from seeing him.

a part of you left with suguru, what remained of you was cherished by satoru like a flower. slowly, over years, you allowed your heart to open, to love satoru gojo. but never once did you love him like you loved suguru geto. somewhere in himself, he knew, but he stamped that feeling so far down that it wouldn’t see the light of day. until, today.

today when your e/c eyes meet suguru geto’s once again. but this time, it would truly be the last time. he was a mess, disheveled and bleeding out in a way you knew would be unable to be healed: even by the one and only ieri shoko.

you crashed to your knees at his side, feeling your kneecaps shake for the briefest moment under your skin from the force. fat tears rolled down your cheeks, crying like you had never cried before. satoru knew he shouldn’t interfere, but he, selfishly, stands just within ear and eyeshot.

words pour from your lips like a tsunami, confessions of everything you had felt these last ten years. desperately you press your hands against his wounds, deluding yourself that the pressure will stop the life from quite literally spilling out of him. your hands are warm and sticky with his blood, iron filling every breath you take in. suguru reeks of death before he even dies.

suguru just smiles, eyes creased as his lips pull. that does nothing to ease you, if anything it sends you more frantically pressing your body to his, begging him to hold on, to let you call shoko. his hands are the same, slightly calloused and oh-so warm, as they cup your cheeks.

“my love, there is no saving me.” his words shake you, not in the way of being told something you didn’t know; but rather, in the way of being told something you had been desperately trying to deny. you weep, silently, allowing the only man you have only truly loved to find the last bit of strength in himself to push you off of him.

satoru begins to realize the truth at that point. he helps you onto your shaky legs, leading your outside the alley and propping you against the brick wall. only then he returns to his best friend’s side to finish the job.

words cannot describe what satoru feels, every memory of his childhood swarming him. the world cruelly forces him to be the one to end suguru’s life, lest he become a cursed spirit. they exchange their final words, suguru uttering well wishes for you and him: something satoru finds almost ironic now. then, he’s dead, but satoru cannot bring himself to destroy his body: nor can he ask you or shoko to.

satoru leaves that alleyway to hold you against him: needing to find out if what he had known all along was true. but all he finds is you crumpled against the ground: not a single injury on you.

it is at this moment he remembers the part of you he overlooked. your cursed technique was called: life link, it allowed you to link two souls together through your cursed energy. slowly, the realization set in, in the years he had known you: he had never sensed your cursed energy to be at full.

he sees it all now: everything the six eyes had told him, everything he denied. the way you would look at him when he goofed off, as if you were looking right through him. the way you would always want to make sure he had eaten, that he slept. the way you never once spoke of suguru to him. it was all because you never got over suguru geto.

it was in that moment that satoru gojo realized that you never loved him. you loved the memory of a man that satoru reminded you of. he realized that you never looked at him: but rather the image of suguru geto that he embodied.

he doesn’t cry, he has known it the entire time, but it still aches in his chest as he stares down at your lifeless body. he remembers seeing the line of cursed energy that connected you to suguru geto all those years ago, but he denied it so vehemently that the six eyes stopped registering it.

it was on this day: december 24th, 2017, that satoru gojo killed both his best friend and his lover.

okkotsuus 23

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drea-ms · 23 days

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CITY OF STARS. GOJO SATORU.

synopsis. in which, nearing the end of the day, Gojo Satoru finds you in a room with a piano in the middle and falls in love deeper with you. (my birthday post :D)

warnings. fluff. angst. mentions of the haibara n riko. death. gojo does die, so canon compliant. la la land inspired but with jjk coded. he falls first and deeper. hurt no comfort kinda. major character death. best viewed in mobile tumblr.... before the shibuya incident and during it.

It's closer to the night when a white haired man walks in the room, a piano in the middle of the room and a girl sitting there playing random notes, eye bags in her [e/c] eyes. The colors of the sunset begin to fade away and turn into a hue of dark blues, purples and blacks, the moon, shining bright and illuminating the young girl. Gojo Satoru thought he never seen something a beautiful as you. A painting that can never be recreated.

He stands there for a while, surprised that the [h/c] haired girl doesn't notice him, maybe she does and won't say anything until he does, so did. "You know how to play piano?" he asked, making her look at him, a look in her face that shows sadness and happiness, "It helped make me feel better. So I played 'till I felt better, It—" she stops herself with a sniffle before continuing once again, "It helped, Riko and Yu. They always loved me playing." she mumbled this time, the moon, now as high as it can, shining down at her.

"Oh." he says, pity in his face, though you don't seem to mind it, instead you smile at him.

"Do you want to hear me play?" you asked, a small glimpse of hope in your eyes

"I would love to." he says, a small shine of blush on his face and you think he never looked more beautiful than now. Gojo thought the same.

The music you played fit you, it was softer, nicer and sweet. When Satoru thought of a song he would ask you, like in this moment.

"Do you know the movie La La Land?" he asked, playing with the piano keys while you wrote down in your small notebook, "I know of it, Utahime asks me about it and to watch it with her, Why?" you question him, a smile shows up to his face, "Let's play City of Stars, I really like that song." he says, looking for answer in your face, "Alright" you nod and smile at him and Satoru thinks that the sun could lose a battle between you and it. "Can you sing?" you asked him, "Not good, but for you? I'll make sure I sound great." he grins at you, and you blush and think that the moonlight does him wonders. You begin to play the notes of the song, and Satoru begins to sing.

City of stars Are you shining just for me? City of stars There's so much that I can't see Who knows? I felt it from the first embrace I shared with you

though he told you he couldn't sing well, he does. by the time he's nearing the end of his lines, you're next, and although you're sure you can't sing well, you try.

That now, our dreams They've finally come true

It's your turn again, and this time you stare at the window, where you can see the view of the night sky, and with a giddy feeling in your stomach you start once again.

City of stars Just one thing everybody wants There in the bars And through the smokescreen of the crowded restaurants It's love Yes, all we're looking for is love from someone else

Without you looking at him, he thanks whoever in his mind, that you're here with him. Just two twenty-eight year olds with enough trauma to scare people, just two jujutsu sorcerers with too many problems to count, and Gojo Satoru is so lucky that he was put on this earth with you. A man who changed the jujutsu world, being seen as a god, now sits there looking and hear you as if— as if you're his god and he's just a lowlife mortal, and Satoru never felt happier in this moment.

A rush, a glance A touch, a dance

This time the both of you look at each other, Gojo Satoru looks happier than ever, a goofy smile in his stupidly handsome face, and you, with a somber look in your face with a sad smile, you know that this is the last night the two of you will ever meet in one piece, and you curse your technique in your head for letting you look into the future, for letting you find out what happens and not being able to stop it, that your own heavenly restriction is seeing into the future and not being able to change it. The next part comes along and you hold in your tears. You both laugh. Two idiots in love in their own world.

A look in somebody's eyes To light up the skies To open the world and send it reeling A voice that says, "I'll be here" And "you'll be alright" I don't care if I know Just where I will go 'Cause all that I need is this crazy feeling A rat-tat-tat on my heart Think I want it to stay

Satoru always liked this part of the song, the chemistry that both Mia and Sebastian had throughout the movie was amazing, and he hoped that one day, the two of you will end up like them both, without the sad ending that Mia and Sebastian had in the movie.

The ending of the song is nearing and the night is perfect. If your students were to see this, they were to see a real like painting in the room, with meaning of love and loss. Love for both people, and loss for one.

and for the last time, Satoru starts again and you end it.

City of stars Are you shining just for me? City of stars You never shined so brightly

This time, the memories finish there and now you're back to reality, with the king of curses killing in the body of Megumi, right infront of A few people, in front of Gojo. People are right when they say 'enjoy your life! you never know when it's going to end!' because now you regret not kissing Satoru and becoming his lover, because you won't see your family anymore, because you won't see your students grow, because now,

You're dead.

VAL SPEAKS ; though i'm not back from hiatus just yet....it's my birthday in 2 days as i'm writing this! (4/3) and i'm posting this on the 5th on my birthday!!! so why not put my favorite things together!!!! la la land and jjk angst!!!! anyways i am now one year older than i was last year!

#🌙 — val writes #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #jjk satoru #jjk gojo #jjk angst #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru #gojo x you #gojo x y/n

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antithesixm · 5 months

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOJO

happy birthday to the most the beautiful, amazing, gorgeous, perfect, loveable, adorable, prettiest man ever, my glorious blue eyed king. he has changed my life so so so much and honestly, i’m not even joking when i talk about how much i love him. it’s unhealthy at this point but it also somehow feels so so so worth it because it’s him. i wouldn’t dare say this openly under any other circumstance in fear of being seen as actually crazy but this is a long ass paragraph that i’m like 99.9% sure nobody will read so.. i honestly think he’s my true love, i don’t think i can love anyone as much as i love him like, i have so much love for him that sometimes my heart can’t take it, and i feel overwhelmed with the realisation that i’ll never love a real person as much as i love him; it’s a terrifying realisation but oddly satisfying at the same time, because now i know i’m capable of this emotion. at first, it was just a silly little joke because i thought he was hot but now, i fear that i may not be able to love another person like how i love him. happy 34th birthday, my love, my lifeline, my world, my sea, my moon, my stars, my sun, my sky, my pulse, my blood. you are paradise, heaven, the ocean, the starry night sky, and everything beautiful. i dedicate my everything to you. i truly believe that i was born on this earth for the sole purpose of loving you. you are what keeps me alive, you are the air that i breathe, the water that i drink, the food that i eat. my heart beats for you and only you, my light. i love you, i love you, i love you. i love you so much that it’s unfathomable. if you killed me and sent me straight to hell, i’d happily be a foolish sinner, happily singing you praises as i burn for all eternity. once again, happy birthday. i love you, i miss you, i need you. please come home or my heart won’t be able to take it anymore :,)

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mononijikayu · 1 month

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kayu's playlist, side 400;

It wasn't as though we never loved each other at all. It just, sometimes.....it's not meant to be. Sometimes it is. And perhaps, that's all that comes with sweet, sad, sing-along songs. Sometimes, that's all that's meant for two people who love each other.

hello, this is kayu!!! first of all, thank you so much for your ardent support and love for my little writings here and there. to think there's four-hundred of you guys following me is kind of crazy. i only started doing fanfic for fun, so i'm very happy that you enjoy it with me too. i write most of these in between my busy life, and it's a relief to me in some way, i destress when writing. i hope that in a way, i do that for you too. i'm writing three stories as a thanks for your support. as it may be obvious, i write stories based on songs i really like at the time or just feel emotionally wrought by. so, these are three short stories that i present as a gift. they'll drop within the next few days, little by little. so please look forward to them!!! i love you all!!! xoxoxoxo

t r a c k o n e ; happy together ─ geto suguru and gojo satoru.

there really isn't much to be done now, it seems. as the realization of your passing settles in, a heavy sigh escapes your lips, accompanied by a gentle rub of the back of your head. the irony of finding yourself in an airport at this moment doesn't escape you; it's almost as if god has a penchant for whimsy in the afterlife. taking a seat on one of the airport benches, you purse your lips in contemplation. you know you'll be waiting here for a while, and oddly enough, that's what you find solace in. suguru and satoru, together. you believe they'll be alright; those two were destined for long, fulfilling lives. at least, that's what you hope for. after all, jujutsu sorcerers aren't typically associated with the concept of 'forever'.

t r a c k t w o ; night flower─ ryomen sukuna.

as he gazes at the statue, the resemblance to your visage is striking, almost intimidating. you had a way of lingering in his thoughts, even after two thousand years had passed, remaining a haunting presence he couldn't shake. strangely, he finds comfort in your ghostly presence; he doesn't want to escape you, if he's honest with himself. his hands reach out tentatively, mirroring the tenderness you once possessed as they brush against the cold stone. it lacks your warmth, yet he tries to conjure the memory of it, knowing your warmth was synonymous with life itself. it's a challenge to forget you; you were unforgettable. he acknowledges that as a man like him, he has no right to mourn—he's no longer truly human. but with you, it's different; you transcended mere humanity. you were his world, his curse, and the ache of longing for you remains.

t r a c k t h r e e ; only fools ─ fushiguro toji.

in the quiet depths of his thoughts, fushiguro toji often finds himself contemplating the bittersweet truth of your relationship. to him, you were like the sun—bright, radiant, and unattainable. and he? he was but a mere moon, destined to orbit around you, never truly belonging to your world. yet, despite the inevitable distance that separated you, his love for you burns steadfastly, unwavering in its intensity. when he made the decision to depart from the zenin clan, he understood that it meant leaving behind any chance of ever crossing paths with you again. still, the memory of you lingers like a haunting melody, weaving its way into the fabric of his existence. though you may never belong to each other, he carries you in his heart, a cherished remnant of a love that was never meant to be.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jjk fic #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk x you #geto suguru x reader #gojo satoru x reader #fushiguro toji x reader #kayu writes ! ! !

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kattywonders · 2 months

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Chapter one: KIKUFUKU

Notes:

First Chapter ! This chapter and a few of the following happen about a year before the hidden inventory arc. I am aware the age is not really matching up but, let's ignore that for now. I do hope you enjoy ! Comment your thought !

Love, Kat !

word count: 810

The sun was already to focused on the earth to care about the moon. Smothered by the shadow of Satoru Gojo, a name to grand to shine a grain of light on Itsuki Gojo. The younger sister of strongest sorcerer Jujutsu in modern history who can never measure up to the height of her brother. Traveling through the word of cursed spirits, teenage feelings, guilt, loss, and complex family issues.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

From the moment the moonlight hit Itsuki’s face, she knew the weight she bore since the Gojo clan’s shining star was already born. Satoru Gojo. The indifferent look on her mother’s face peered down on her newborn daughter's face—a small tuft of white hair on her head as she slept. Grown with age and tiredness, her mother handed off her only daughter to the nannies of the Gojo clan. Many who grew weary of age passed her along with little love from her parents. There was no one around her age in the clan. She was often left on her own when the nannies were busy or when they grew tired of her. The only person who cared for her was her brother, the most powerful, Satoru Gojo. When he wasn’t busy with school or his friends, he made time to visit his sister, who was always excited to see him, maybe for the gifts he brought and the time he spent with her.

Itsuki sat on the edge of wooden panel flooring overlooking the garden, swinging her feet a few feet above the sandy ground of the garden, singing a cartoon theme song. Her light pink kimono blew in the soft wind, giggling at the frog jumping into Koi Pond. As footsteps approached from behind her, echoing through the empty garden, the sound of plastic rustled like leaves through trees. Itsuki, hearing the footsteps, looked up from the sand, her eyes lighting up like fireworks at a Gion Matsuri festival, seeing her older brother.

“Satoru!” Itsuki cheered as he approached her mood, brightening like the sun itself. Cerulean eyes dropped to the sweets bag held in his left hand.

“I figured I should drop by to visit you. Did they leave you again?” Satoru asked, his smile wavering for a moment at the question.

He already knew the answer. By the way, no maids or nannies were around her or the garden at all—none to greet him or, most importantly, to watch his baby sister. The grip tightened around the bag of sweets containing cream kikifuku he picked up from a local shop on his last mission. Satoru knew of the neglect of Itsuki. While it wasn’t abuse or deadly, there was no parental love for her—love even he didn’t receive at her age or even now.

Itsuki’s eyes dropped back to the now more interesting sandy ground as a line of ants marched below her dangling feet, carrying a leaf back to their colony. “No, Miss Asami said she was tired. She wanted to go lay down.” Itsuki’s soft voice replied before a much longer pair of legs that touched the ground compared to her dangling ones joined next to her. Satoru scoffed at his younger sister's words, shaking his head as he slipped off his sunglasses and placed them on top of his head.

“Is she your caretaker of the month?” Satoru scornfully questioned Itsuki, while contempt was not initiated for the young child. Itsuki nodded up at him, admiring his light cyan eyes that seemed to pale hers. Satoru huffed out a sigh, shaking his head at the blatant neglect as he picked up the bag of sweets in his lap, handing Itsuki one with a gentle, caring smile. Itsuki’s toothy grin made his heart warm as she dug into the sweet ruffling of her short, bobbed white hair like his.

Satoru watched Itsuki’s innocent happiness as he turned away, eating his own. He knew what it was like. While he held their mother's attention, he never truly felt their parents’s love. He was only known as the strongest—nothing more. His heart ached for his sister because, out of all the times he visited, he could count on one hand when someone else was around to watch her. Satoru placed another next to her as she neared finishing her first as she mumbled a ‘Thank you!’ from her mochi-stuffed mouth. Itsuki was nearing the age of her curse technique manifesting... He couldn’t help but worry about what would happen if she didn’t manifest one. He knew how she would be treated if she wasn’t, and he couldn’t bear that future. He already had a plan for her, whether she manifested one or not. Get her out of this place like he did.

“When will you visit again?” Itsuki’s voice silenced Satoru's thoughts as he blinked, turning his head back to his sister.

He paused, thinking about her answer as the seconds skated by while Itsuki fidgeted with her mochi, awaiting an answer—one he didn’t even know.

“The second I can, trust me, I will, Itsuki.” Satoru dropped his voice softly to ease his sister’s worries. He pats her head, smoothing the stray strands, before grinning and placing his sunglasses on top of her head as she giggles gleefully.

“I promise. I will come back for you..always.”

#anime #jujutsu sorcerer #x oc #yuji itadori #sukuna #gojo satoru #fanfic #anime and manga #geto suguru #nobara kugisaki #shoko ieiri #ao3 writer #fanfiction #original character #jjk fandom

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uncontainably-a-whore · 10 months

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The moon and stars beyond it

◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

Suguru Geto x Saeshiro Gojo An Au in which Satoru has a twin brother, only his twin didnt inherit six eyes but got his own cursed technique. T.W : A small bit of violence here and there, but its never actually outright stated how it happens. Of course killing is mentioned... !!!spoilers for the manga, cause im going off that and the anime!!! ◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

A sudden opening of the curtain lets in the bright… and at this time unwelcome glow of the morning sun. Which heralds a reaction from both of the twins, Saeshiro and Satoru Gojo.

"Mgh… one more hour…" The younger of the twins, Saeshiro, mumbled and covered his face with his pillow in an attempt to get more sleep, whilst the older one sat up.

"Wake up already, gotta go get ready for class." Suguru finally spoke, as he leaned up against the window frame. Which in turn made Sae sit up without missing a beat, pillow falling onto his lap as he sat up, making Satoru start laughing. Suguru only chuckled and left the room.

◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

"Wahhhh~ Satoru is she really crying? nehehe~" Sae's chuckle seemed to irk Utahime.

"Well, Utahime-Senpai~ Are you crying?" Satoru's sing-song tone seemed to irk the woman as she laid under a large bit of rubble.

"I'm not crying! And be more polite!" Utahime spat angrily which only made the twins start laughing.

"If I were crying, would you console me? I'd certainly appreciate that." The light grey haired woman spoke… Mei was her name… Just hearing her voice and seeing her sent shivers down Sae's spine, who opted to go run behind the older twin and hide.

"Nah, You wouldn't cry Mei-san, You're strong." Satoru said blankly, turning over to look at Mei. who started to walk up to the pair.

"Is that so?" the woman chuckled and stopped just a few meters from the twins. Utahime looked… Irked, she got up from the rubble and pointed at the twins.

"Gojo! You two listen here! I don't need your help-" The woman was cut off by a massive curse that popped up behind her, which was then eaten by a second one.

"Hehehe~ what was that one about you not needing our help Utahime-San?" Sae's Cheshire cat grin coupled with his teasing giggle seemed to just piss Utahime more.

"Don't swallow it, I'll absorb it later. Satoru, you know it's not nice to pick on the weak. You too Saeshiro." Suguru's familiar voice rang through the rubble followed by Sae childishly giggling. then pouting jokingly.

"Ehhhh?! Sugu you know I know that but it's funny watching Utahime-San angry!" The boy giggled even more as he waited for Suguru to come up the stairs, coming out from behind the older twin.

"Utahime-san? Are you okay?” Shoko asked as she walked up and stood beside the twins, both acting like children, but one acting like a kid in a car waiting to get to go to disney. “Shoko!” the woamn’s excited and whiny yell rang through the air as she ran up to “I was worried about you. We hadnt heard from you for two whole days.”

"Shoko! Sont let yourself turn out like these three!" She whined as she hugged Shoko which earned an overly exaggerated offended gasp from Sae. “I won't turn into trash like them.” Shoko patted Utahime’s back in a sense, trying to comfort and re-assure her that it won't happen.

"Ehhhh?! What's that supposed to mean?!" He pouted and crossed his arms.

“The path utahime walked is falling apart” Satoru giggled as he watched Suguru walk up the steps. “Shut up.” Suguru replied as he got up and wrapped his arms around Saeshiro. Who just smiled and wrapped his arm around Suguru’s waist. Much to Satoru’s dismay. “Ugh you two should just date and get a room. Seriously” He rolled his eyes. “Listen, we are just best friends and you know that ‘Toru” He wouldnt admit it, but it kinda hurt him to admit that, knowing deep inside he loved Suguru with his entire being but thinks he doesnt have a chance with him. His heart ached at the thought of never being able to be with the one he loved in a romantic sense. But maybe it was for the better and he just accepted that maybe he would be fine with only seeing Suguru happy. But maybe that felt like it wasnt enough… could he be greedy just this once? ◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇ “Ehhhh Satoru it's your fault we all got chewed out for destroying that mansion so stop whining about it!” Sae pouted angrily while continuing to play basketball with the two, making sure not to hit Shoko who was testing out Satoru’s glasses. His striking blue eyes contrasted heavily with Sae’s ruby red ones like two versions of infinity. Red and Blue, the only physical difference at this time between these two are their personalities, eyes and voices, while Satoru’s is more on the higher side compared to Sae’s deeper one. “Whatever it's not like they can do much to us, we are the strongest after all.” He rolled his eyes which earned him a ball being thrown full force at him. “Whatever!? Not like anyone likes being yelled at for someone elses mistake now eh? Just admit you went too hard. Sheesh.” He clapped back, his tone more assertive now. Soon the doors opened and the masamichi appeared, calling the three to go and do a mission, escorting the star vessel to Master Tengen. “Aishhh feels like immortality is just a big nuisance… like what if you have to watch the one you love die over and over again? That sucks doesnt it? It would be so lonely…” Sae made an interesting point, would immortality feel redundant if you just have to change bodies every time to avoid evloving to a god having no sense of emotion or having to watch the ones you care for disappear till theyre only a distant memory. How cruel would a life like that be in the end? It makes sense to a certain degree, but the amount of things master thengen has done for them is immense and if he were to ascend, it would cause issues for all of jujutsu society.

“But for real… I get why the curse group Q is after her, but why does the star religious group want to kill her?” Satoru popped the can open and took a drink, his tone was laid back and bored kind of. “Do we really wanna know or what? Cause it seems to me they just want master tengen to be ‘pure’ and shit without actually knowing the effects… you know… as normies do” Sae continued playing on his playstation portable while walking with the two, not really paying attention where he was going, just following his twin. “But the star religious group are made of non-curse users. We shouldn't have to worry about them too much. But we do have to worry about Q '' Suguru's little analysis piqued Sae’s interest, getting the boy to put his Playstation Portable away. “Ehhhh true I dont really care about the normies anyways.” Sae sighed as he leaned his head against Suguru's shoulder as they walked on.

“Anyway it should be okay, we're the strongest. That's why Master Tengen asked us after– "What?” Satoru looked at his twin and Suguru who looked at him with a certain look. “Ehhh ‘toru its just that…” The younger twin looked over at Suguru to finish his sentence. Knowing they were both thinking the same thing. “Weve both been meaning to tell you this… But… You should mind the way you talk…” Suguru’s words made Satoru look in shock. “What?!” “Yeah… well particularly around your seniors… Like I do it only to Utahime-San and… we might be meeting master Tengen too… just… Youre waaaayyy too rude to them ‘toru… I wouldnt wanna get chewed out by master Tengen if I were you...” Sae gave him a slightly disappointed look as Suguru went and messed with Sae’s hair. “Yeah… and in that way your juniors won't be so scared of you.” Suguru added as their point was amde clear. Satoru just shrugged and sighed. “Sheesh give me a break.” The older of the twins rolled his eyes, just then a loud explosion rang through the air, The three snapped their heads towards the noise in slight shock. “Ohhhh fuck. Would it be our fault if the star normie is dead or something?” Sae sweatropped before he spotted the unconscious girl flying out of the building, Suguru went up and caught the girl while riding one of his curses… it was this weird looking pink manta ray thing… “Phew, made it just in time.” Satoru smiled but Sae almost immediately noticed something was up and pulled his mask down, releasing a few clouds of smoke before pulling it back up. Condensing one into a baton, he stood ready to beat the shit out of someone. Before abunch of knives came flying at the twins, Satoru of course saw this coming and used infinity to stop them. Clapping noises were heard as the foe approached, making Sae’s face contort with disgust.

“Amazing! You must be the Gojo twins eh? Youre famous. Ive heard youre strong. Show me if the rumors are true.” The masked man offered. “Sure… but… Let's make a rule. Since we both dont wanna go all out and get in trouble.” Satoru said, the other twin was already out of sight. “What…” “If you cry and apologize now… we won't kill you.” Sae’s voice came out as a whisper in the man’s ear. He couldnt see Sae, but only a ring of clouds around Satoru and him. “Brats!” The man said before the two promptly made sure the man would not be able to walk… or do much… for the rest of his life… effectively rendering him useless. “Say cheese~” Satoru said happily as he took a selfie with the man whose body was now laid against a tree and Sae just smiling while playing around with the man’s face making him smile. “Think Sugu is done making sure the star normie is safe?” Sae’s question goes unheard and un-answered as the two made their way up to where Suguru is and saw him with the two ladies. With Suguru sat on the couch, Sae went up and sat next to him. “Should we take her to a doctor?” Satoru asked, while looking at the other two, who were now crouched down to the left of the unconscious girl who they had dragged into the floor.

“Ehhh she's the star normie… so she should be a little more durable, yeah? Ahhhh… I wish Shoko were here, she would know what to do…” Suguru nodded at Sae’s comment in agreement, as they watched satoru pick the girl up and carry her. “Oh! Youre awake!” Satoru said as he now noticed the girl.. Who was now… very awake… “You jerk1 if you want to kill so badly why dont you go first?!” The girl yelled as she slapped Satoru right across the face, jumping away from him and into a sort of stance? “Hey, riko, We arent here to abduct you.” Suguru smiled nicely, trying to re-assure the girl. “Liar! You look like a liar! And what's with those bangs?!” she insulted suguru… what? “Hey hey little lady you can't just go ‘round saying that to people it's rude.” Sae said softly, trying to hold the two others away from the girl. “True, but you dont look too trustworthy either and what's with the red eyes you look evil!” Sae smiled menacingly before letting the other two go do what they needed. The girl screamed as Suguru grabbed her wrists and Satoru grabbed her ankle and started pulling her in opposite ways. Kuroi had come up while riding one of Suguru’s curses. “Hey star Normie, thought youd be sad about the merger thing. Here I was worried ‘bout ya.” Sae said as he put his arms up at the back of his head and leaned a bit into them, all lax and seeming to not care about how ‘serious’ the mission is. “Rediculous! A simple comment from a simpleton! Listen up! master Tengen is me… and I am master Tengen! You talk about merger and death as if they were one in the same! But youre gravely mistaken! With the merger i will become master tengen and master tengen will be me! My will! Heart! Spirit! All will live on after merging! HEY! Are you even listening?!” Satoru and Suguru were both watching Sae play on his Playstatopn Portable and not actually paying attention to what she was saying, all three boys looking bored at what she was saying. “Ey star plasma… whatever… normie, are you done with your monologue yet? You probably have no friends with the way you speak eh?” Sae said, not once looking up from his psp before finishing up the game and then putting it away. “I'm thinking it would be a cinch to send her packing,” Suguru chuckled, both twins nodding in agreement with an angry and flustered Amanai making a fuss. “I talk fine at school you know!.. AH! School! Kuroi! What's the time?!” The kid yelled as she panicked. “Ah… it is almost noon… perhaps maybe school can–” “Nonsense! I'm going!” She yelled as she ran to school. The other four following close behind. ◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇ “Nehhh~ ‘toru dont be so hard on the normie yeah? She was saying all that stuff…” Sae’s tone was soft and hushed down as he wrapped his arm around his brother’s shoulder and leaned against him. “But as you know, the truth is that after the merger, she will be stuck under jujutsu high with master tengen to form the barrier, friends, family and everything she holds dear she will never be able to see them again… let her enjoy herself that’s our mission now…” Suguru’s tone was solemn, like he felt pity for the kid, Sae did too, he just didn't hide it at all. “Lady Riko does not have any relations, when she was young, her family was involved in an accident, since then, i've been her caretaker.” Kuroi bowed slightly, to which Sae’s reaction was to go up to her and get her to not bow. “There is no need to bow this much to us Kuroi-san… we are after all younger than you… besides, wouldn't that make you her family then? Having raised her from that day to now… you've done the best you can… we cannot change destiny. Things happen for a reason, no?” His smile was warm and comforting as to reassure the woman that all that she did wasn't for naught. The woman nodded and smiled back. “Suguru, how are the surveillance spirits?" Satoru asked and Suguru checked.

"We have to find Amanai, two of the spirits have been exorcised.'' Those words put everyone else on high alert and he took off his mask and handed it to suguru.

"Hold this, I'll locate the threat." With that he dissipated into a cloud, moving around and spotting the person, quickly, he notified Suguru and Satoru of the whereabouts of all the intruders. Sae, slowly losing control, had to re-materialize, doing so right next to Suguru. Before taking his mask back he smiled and gave Suguru a kiss on the cheek. “What was that for?” he asked in a slightly hushed tone. “While the adrenaline is still here I should just be upfront and say it… I like you… like… like like… you… Not as a bestie homie boo… but as someone I wanna spend my life with… ‘s okay if you dont feel the same way just… needed to get it out of my chest… '' Sae smiled from under the mask before Suguru pulled him in by the cheeks, took Sae’s mask off and kissed his lips before pulling away and pulling it back up into place. “I thought we were already dating to be honest.” Suguru joked slightly before we noticed a presence nearby, we snapped our heads towards where it was coming from and ran towards it. “Well well, that uniform…” The old hunched over man said as he seemd to summon a shikigami… Sae pulled his mask off again to let out one cloud and condensed it into a sword while Suguru went and summoned two curses. “Curse manipulation?! What is that cursed technique” The man’s expression is unsure slightly at Sae’sunknown cursed technique. “You yap too much old man… but correct, that is curse manipulation… and this… thing i just did? I like to call it … nah i aint telling you what its called… mostly ‘cause i havent.. Thought of a cool name yet…” Sae sheepishly admitted. “Do you want me to take him or do you want to?” Suguru asked while looking at Sae. “Ooh! I'll take him! Should be easy to past tense him.” Sae smiled from under his mash and disappeared from the man’s view, clouds of smoke filling the hallway. Soon the man began seeing his childhood dog, before he was promptly thrown against a wall and knocked out silently. “Yeah… oh we do need to talk about boundaries, ground rules and what not later…” Suguru smiled as he walked over to Sae, who was dissipating the gas away and crouching down in front of the man. “Mhm! Later, for now we have our mission. And this mission is important… now… is this man with Q or the time whatever association?” Sae pondered to himself while looking down at the unconscious… he thinks, man. “Dont know… but he seems like a hitman to me… anyways…” Suguru and Sae walked off, leaving the man alone as they talked about things, making sure to be on board and on the same page on everything. ◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇ “Dont you dare do anything to my lady or I’ll kill you!” Kuroi yelled as she watched the man fall to his knees after being hit where it hurts most, making sae flinch and go behind Suguru. “Yeesh Kuroi-san is strong… remind me to to anger her at all…” Saeshiro shuddered, making Suguru chuckle softly and nod. “Where’s Riko?” Suguru asked as he quickly got a response from Kuroi. “She left the school with Master Gojo.” Her response was quick and straight to the point, Saeshiro nodded and wnt out from behind Suguru. “Then we should follow them… things are getting a little… funky. And not in the funny silly goofy way.” Sae said almost trying to lighten the mood, except it… doesnt… and the masked man gets up all angry and chuckles, saying something about someone being ‘the thirty million’. “A shikigami?!” Satoru yelled from over the phone, Sae shook his head. “Nuh uh! Not a shikigami ‘toru-nii, there's a… uhhh 30 mil bounty on the star nomie’s head with a time limit thing that ends tomorrow at 11 am… so just before lunch… man i'm hungry… hold on not the time to be hungry.. But be careful out there ‘toru it isnt looking too good…” Sae’s warning was left unheard since satoru had hung up the phone already. To which he pouted. ◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇ “I'm sorry… we didnt take into consideration how important Kuroi-san would be to the enemy… “ Satoru sighed and patted the younger twin.

“Is that right? It's not a big deal.” Satoru said blankly.

“Pardon? What?! ‘Toru, what if they hurt Kuroi-san? What if they use her as a hostage and make the star normie the ransom? What if they kill her if we dont… oh! We should take the kid to Jujustu high, then use Koko as a decoy? Since my cloud clones arent very… stable nor reliable…” Sai thought logically about this trying to make sure of Riko’s safety and everyone elses.

“Wait! I'm going too! I can't trust you guys with this!” Amanai’s interjection shocked the three boys in front of her, confused and shocked.

“What? You brat. Dont you realize the situation youre in?” Satoru’s tone was stern and assertive, sort of making Saeshiro look confused as hell. This was probably one of the first times he's ever seen his twin this serious, a sobering experience really.

“Even if you rescue her, what if kuroi doesnt come back before the merger? I still… havent even said goodbye to her…” She looked like she was about to cry, Saeshiro looked like he was gonna go and try to comfort the kid, but Suguru just held him back and shook his head.

“We’ll be getting a call from the kidnappers soon… if theyre smarter than we thought, and if we bring you and kuroi’s chances of survival decreases… we’re gonna leave you behind.” Satoru’s tone made shivers crawl up Saeshiro’s spine.

“I feel the weight of my sins crawling up my spine… hnghh.” Sae whispered as he relaxed in Suguru’s arms, who was casually just holding Sae’s hands over sae’s belly while resting his head on his shoulder.

“Understood! That's fine.” RIko agreed and Satoru nodded.

“And dont even try backing out halfway through, we dont care if youre scared Got it?” ◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇ and thats that chapter done!!! Wooo that one was a doozy to write... If anyone has any quiestions feel free to contact me on discord or... i dont know if tumblr allows direct messages to creators... but if it does, my dms are open!!

#jujustsu kaisen au #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu sorcerer #jujutsu gojo #gojo satoru #jjk oc #jjk ocs #character x male oc #m4m #amab #lgbtq #gay

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theogony · 2 years

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Stains of Ichor

A/N: written for @animangasecretsanta gift exchange!! it was a pleasure getting to know you @hyakkimarus hah see i totally didn't try to tag sakaguchis what lol pfft <3 i'm your very iconic ass anon!! You were super great to work for and I wish the best of gifing and late birthdays and assignments and everything else!! I hope you enjoy this even though it's kinda sad oops <3

PS: thank you so much @blueberry--milk for betaing <3 love you loads <3

Summary:

"You're Perseus, slayer of Gorgons. You're Heracles, with his legendary strength. The sun that melted Icarus' wings." Satoru leans in closer, the mere inches between the two of them tantalising - raising goosebumps along Suguru's collarbone, where his fingertips lightly skim, spear forgotten. "But most importantly, you're Satoru Gojo. Their chosen one, their achilles. The one who'll remain with them for centuries."

///

Or, where Gojo Satoru is destined for glory, and Suguru Geto's just someone painfully human.

read on ao3 here!

"...Say there were two boys who raced each other to the sunrise.

Say that one went too far, and the other went with him."

i. Memory's like a dream and I'm so close to waking

It doesn't take Suguru Geto long to fall in love with the sun.

It happens when he's exhausted from a long day of running and sits at the top of the hill. There's a clear view of the sunset up there, the waves overlapping the shore as the rays, reflected in the water, change from orange to blue. He inhales the aroma of salt and recalls how it tastes on his tongue. It's soothing, and his shoulders relax as he leans slightly backward with his palms.

He exhales quietly, listening to the sound the ocean makes as it sings its farewell to the sun, the end of which becomes a greeting for the moon in its place. If he could stay anywhere in the world for the rest of his life, it would most likely be here, right now. He observes how the colours blend, pinks and oranges merging into a deep, dark blue.

In the distance, there's a horde of boys scrambling up the rocks, the annual games continuing despite the rumours. The boys down there - little but pinpricks to Suguru - are young and thus immortal. The world is a fruit for them to pluck and devour — not that they would, but they know they could, and it makes all the difference.

It happens when he continues listening to the chatter of the boys as they announce a winner amongst them, as the sun sets and the moon begins to shine brightly. He sits for a while, watching the waves crashing against each other and a riptide curling to the left. He wonders if this is what he'll be doing for the rest of his life - watching the sun sink into the sea. If he could, he would. Maybe he could spend the rest of his life chasing after the sun, just as it was about to leave him for good. Running after it, watching it escape, and knowing it'll be there when he wakes up the next morning.

Suguru Geto is only a few decades older when he swallows the sun and falls, waiting and searching for someone still alive, someone a whole eternity apart, someone with light and sunlight and duty-bound to his soul.

But Suguru is used to unattainable goals. And so, he recites the three facts he knows.

Your name is Suguru Geto. You are dead. You have been waiting for a long, long time.

ii. No god is a mortal first

The first time he sees him, he doesn't know anything about him except that he runs faster than the wind and has a smile that rivals the sun in the sky. He may be the son of kings but he’s a son of a goddess, they say in whispers, and you can see it, the wide chasm that exists between where he is and what you know, skin shining like polished ivory, eyes sharp enough to spot even minute pinpricks of movement. Suguru says nothing but simply crowns him. He knows he'll never taste the sweet bite of victory, the vivid calm of success.

It is muscle memory, a simple reflex as he stares, face blank as the boy fell on the ground in front of him. Suguru Geto is neither a hero, but nor is he a sob story, so he doesn't plead, doesn't shout, doesn't react to his father as he moves about wildly, afraid of the world falling apart, afraid of the larger players of the three kingdoms threatening to swallow his empire up whole.

I have always been alone, Suguru thinks on the journey to another kingdom. The King of Phthia will take him in. He will no longer be a prince, not of the small kingdom his tyrannical father and simple mother owns, not of anywhere. But he will live. That is enough.

“You are here because you killed a boy. You understand this?”

“Yes,” He told him. He could have told him more, of the dreams that left him bleary and bloodshot, the almost-screams that scraped his throat as he swallowed them down. The way the stars turned and turned through the night above his unsleeping eyes.

[There's a harsh pang in your throat and you want to swallow but you can't, not when he looks at you so- lost and, and so human-]

“You are welcome here. You may still make a good man.” He meant it as comfort, but all Suguru Geto can imagine is tears and a choking hold and why Suguru, how could you-

The second time he sees him, the gulf seems to have widened between the both of them - what with him crouched in a corner, arms bent at awkward angles, and him with sharp, asymmetric lines - already coming into manhood.

"You're the prince."

The taller boy simply peers down at Suguru through the light of the faint candle flame he holds, and he can't help but feel small - insignificant, the way his bright, brilliant eyes stare straight into his.

"Yes. I'm Gojo. The Greatest of them all."

There is no pride, no distinct change in his lilting voice - soft and smooth like a stone polished by lapping waves when he says it - he states it simply, as though simply telling someone his full name.

"I've been looking for you. You haven't been attending your lessons."

Suguru's features are painted with an unexpected rush of curiosity. "How could you possibly know? You don't train with us."

"My father was informed by the master after he noticed."

"And he sent you," he confirms, tone derisive.

"No, I came on my own," Gojo says coolly, but with an amused smirk on his brow.

"Why?"

"I assumed you were ill," he says casually as if it doesn't matter. He looks at Suguru's face. "You're not sick."

"No."

"My father wants to punish you. But if you're not sick, you can't use that as an excuse." Suguru says nothing, and Gojo continues. "What are you going to say?"

He hums, almost thoughtfully, and Suguru suppresses the urge to take him into his hands, to watch the sunlight bleed through his fingertips and paint him inky black, just like his dreams and Suguru how could you do this-

He blinks, and there is a sudden silence, oppressive and heavy.

"You're the prince. Say I was with you."

There's clear surprise drawn on Gojo's features, and he tilts his head to the side, watching, waiting, analyzing Suguru before he abruptly holds out his hand to him.

"What's your name?"

In comparison to his voice, he is small and quiet, like a boy's.

"Suguru Geto."

He hums softly, turns his name over in his mouth like he's trying it on for size, and then he smiles. The planes of his face ease into something warm and radiant, and he thinks that maybe, just maybe, he's starting to realize the impulse that drew Icarus.

He pulls him up, his other hand rolling a ripe fig lightly, a surprisingly gentle gesture for someone who is meant to claim glory in war.

“Well, come on then.”

His smile is blinding - nothing like the ones he's seen him wear before, and Suguru can't seem to look away.

iii. Can you acknowledge that we lived?

Six eyes, the gift of seeing one and infinity innate possibilities, and the ability to warp the very laws of physics itself, pitted against a river-run of death threats piled high on his head since birth. A power that towers over all others in terms of borderline divine strength.

"So basically, I'm going to be your god."

"An asshole, that's what you're going to be."

For the most part, the walk to the training grounds is quiet and empty, the area sectioned off and empty save for the most high-ranking shamans - most of whom are busy protecting the grounds. Suguru isn't accustomed to such finery or revelry, but he supposes it comes with the pain of being Gojo's companion.

"Remember that technique you displayed the other day?" Satoru smirks. "I think I've learnt it well."

Suguru isn't a stranger to fire - it's all around him at night, in his dreams, his nightmares a flickering glow that stretches into darkness, bars and binds him, and he stands, hackles raised, always on the defensive, despite his face wearing a tight grin. Gojo's posture is laid back, almost like a cat's - and if Suguru hadn't known him well, he would have mistaken it for arrogance.

There's a moment's pause, and then their spears come together in a song of metal and fury.

Suguru doesn't tell him to stop or to wait. Gojo moves like no one else he's ever met, acrobatic and elegant even as they play at battle, and as he practices with him, Suguru can't help but grin - accustomed by now to the constant loss, even if it always ends like this.

Despite the fact that they'd both started out fighting, it soon dissolves into a playful match of who can disarm the other first. It's Suguru who's the first to make his move - the one who's currently got the greatest one pinned under his spear, his bodyweight gentle as he presses the tip against the pale, unblemished skin that shimmers lowly - despite the dust coating both of them, and the sweat dripping down both their faces.

"Yield."

Gojo grins, bolded by the faint nonchalance in Suguru's tone. "What, no catty remark?"

Suguru shrugs, but the tip presses in slightly sharper, almost threatening to break the skin.

"Tch. At least you could have-"

With a sudden twist of his hips, Gojo flips them over, and then it’s Suguru who is pinned by his spear, rendered immobile beneath the entirety of the other’s body weight.

The fact of the matter is this - Suguru Geto is one of the most talented shamans there is, despite having little but instinct to rely on. With time, he grew accustomed to the weight of a spear in his hands. He doesn't particularly like it, but he also doesn't particularly dislike it, and he's subjected to the same drills and movements every day. Soon, calluses form on his hands, and his body grows stronger. He still doesn't enjoy it - but his hands and body learn what to do, and it takes on a strange comfort, repetition, regularity, going through the motions again and again as the sun rises high in the sky.

He supposes his great skill is partially why there has been a sharp decline in the number of kingdoms calling for his head.

However, there is also the fact that Satoru Gojo, on any given day, can beat him without exercising even half of his power.

Gojo smiles up at him, teasing despite the precarious position of the spear at Suguru's neck.

"At least you could have had the decency to let me pin you down first, especially when someone else is watching." Gojo finishes.

Suguru doesn't reply, instead choosing to slump into the dust, conceding.

"Aw, hurt your feelings?"

"Nah, just wondering whether you'd gone blind in one of those six eyes of yours, considering it took you so long to bring it up." Suguru deadpans back.

Gojo gasps, hand-pressed much too sharply to his chest for him to be taken seriously. He still hasn't gotten off Suguru, yet there’s an easy grace to his posture—his hips are cocked and he’s swaying just a little with a relaxed curve to his body that matches the smile on his face, smug and completely innocuous all at once.

"You mock me! Treason! Treason for Suguru for a thousand years!"

The man in question glances pointedly at the fact that he doesn't even bother rolling off and instead shoots him a look of what Satoru likes to call his signature - a mixture of long-suffering, annoyance, exasperation with a pinch of fondness.

"And yet."

Satoru cocks his head, white hair artfully framed with the ring of the setting sun as Suguru ponders his next words.

"You're not a god, Satoru. At this point, it's blasphemous - even for you."

Satoru leans closer, a flicker of undecipherable emotion passing before his face splits back into his Cheshire like grin.

"Then pray tell, what am I?"

Suguru hums, taking note of the nonchalance between them, despite the charged air. He wonders if Satoru, with his sharp senses, can hear the humming bird-like pulse that charges through his veins. He wonders if he can feel the distance between them, and somehow cross it.

He wonders if he'll take the line they've been dancing on, and snap it.

"You're Perseus, slayer of Gorgons. You're Heracles, with his legendary strength. The sun that melted Icarus' wings." Satoru leans in closer, the mere inches between the two of them tantalizing - raising goosebumps along Suguru's collarbone, where his fingertips lightly skim, spear forgotten. "But most importantly, you're Satoru Gojo. Their chosen one, their Achilles. The one who'll remain with them for centuries."

The proximity between them is dizzying, intoxicating and Suguru feels heady with pleasure. He wonders if this is how it feels like to chase the sun and eat it whole.

Then he blinks, and Satoru's gotten up, staring towards the barracks as he sees the two servants who'd been watching make their escape.

"I'd better take care of this..."

A deep sigh emerges from Suguru's chest, and he places a delicate arm on Gojo's shoulder. Although it was mere minutes ago they were sparring each other, Suguru knows better than most how fickle Satoru can be about touch.

"You don't need to kill him."

There's a rush of annoyance blown through the gap between his teeth, and he frowns, almost childish.

"He can't have seen me. It's not like he didn't know that risk. It's not like it's not a conscious decision he made. He knows about the prophecy - knows that I can't take a risk, knows that no one can see me practice."

"Satoru..."

Suguru's voice creeps in, low and quiet with suppressed emotion.

"You can't just kill people you don't like. Remember why you're here - you're their hero. It's your responsibility"

A dark shadow crosses his face before he walks away from his low murmurs. Despite the fact that the man walks free, Satoru does not comment as he walks back through the long hallways, except for a brief mention about tightening the guards patrolling the arena.

There's a bittersweet aftertaste on his mouth, like a sun's last rays slowly disappearing, as the words tumble out of Suguru's mouth as they both lie awake that night.

"If you're so concerned about the prophecy, then why do you let me practice with you?"

The waves thrash in the background on the nearby beach, and he wonders if he heard the question at all.

"Suguru."

Gojo says his name, enunciating the syllables as if it's a name worth remembering – as if he won't let anyone forget it. He turns and smiles at him as if he's someone worth knowing, despite the fact that he's no one in the grand scheme of things and Gojo's the one so close to divinity. Suguru is not a prince any longer, and he will never be a hero, he knows. He's just another orphaned boy scrabbling for some kind of purchase, and he has been great since the day he was born. Gojo notices him watching him and smiles, conspiratorially - like he’s trying to pry out that warmth that Suguru kept hidden, dimming with no practice - of sharing it with someone, of making someone smile, of truly knowing someone. The way he’s smiling at himself, in response to his question - makes him almost desperate to try.

"Name one hero who was happy."

The grin on Satoru's face doesn't falter, yet for a change, there's something vulnerable in it that Suguru cannot decipher.

"You can't. But I'll tell you a secret - I'll be different. It's because...together, we'll be the strongest."

iv. eyes a drowsy shade of summer

The day Satoru's sent away to Edo for training, Suguru's heart begs him to run after him, to not let him escape. He's not an impulsive person, but he's never seen him go somewhere he couldn't follow, so he runs. He runs, and, miraculously, he finds Satoru waiting for him as if he'd wait an eternity for him to catch up - and his smile when he sees him is wide and hopeful, like the sun rising after a dangerous night.

"Took you long enough", he casually remarks, and the hand he holds out to him seems like a promise.

Another slight miracle: he meets a teacher who isn't afraid of the gods and who teaches him alongside the rest of them as if he is, too, worthy of becoming a hero. Like Jason. Like Heracles. Like Satoru.

The days pass by, idyllic and peaceful. In the day, they chase each other, competition refining their senses and skills, strengthening their bonds (because in tragedy, what else can one do but lean on someone, have someone they can be wholly human with?) - in the night, they pass wisecracks out loud, chatting as Yaga teaches them about medicine, about technique, about the stars overhead and the tales that put them up there.

Most prominently though, they learn about gods - about those who take and those who caress and those who maim and mute and kill. He discovers that the gods are cruel. The gods take, and the gods punish. Their whims are erratic, fluid and ever changing. He wonders as to how long their favour will last. He sits in a field at midday while Satoru weaves wildflowers into little crowns and tucks them into his hair, and he continues to hope, always, for the answer to be just one more day.

It's a warm night after another mission, and he lies next to him in the cool grass, watching him point to the sky, finding the figures immortalized in the heavens and reciting the stories you've both memorized. Here’s Perseus, who slew Medusa. Here’s Pegasus, here's Andromeda, here's Orion. Satoru's skin looks pale, blessed in the moonlight, and Suguru can't help but wonder how the moon loves him, just as the sun does, just as the world does - just as he does too.

The black blindfold has slipped off his eyes, the blue rings visible like twin suns - lighting up the darkness.

[He still remembers the time Satoru dragged him down with him to the local villages, to try on various clothes and blindfolds, disturbing the poor vendors to the point where they almost threatened to throw him out. The decision is impulsive, and they both know there will be hell to pay from Yaga when they're back, yet somehow, Suguru couldn't find it in himself to care.

Finally, Satoru settles for simplicity instead, ignoring the finely embroidered threads, opting for a black band that fits snugly around his features. They're functional and most importantly, Satoru likes them; Suguru has yet to process more than these two facts by the time Satoru turns around and shows him with a bright grin dancing over his lips. "How do I look?"

There are a million ways to answer the question, so he instead opts for something completely different.

"Like a blind bat."

"So you'll buy it for me then?"

"Satoru don't you fucking-"

In the end, it doesn't matter, the moment is forgotten in their haste to scramble back before Yaga decides to kick them both out, once and for all. ]

He looks over at him, and despite being caught staring, Suguru isn't surprised because it's always like this, Satoru's features smoothing out into something quiet and gentle the moment his eyes land on him, a soft curving of his mouth, lightness settling into his shoulders. He smiles and realizes that he is feeling warm all over.

"What?" he inquires. "What exactly are you thinking?"

And the truth is that he thinks a lot when he's around him—how Suguru will never get tired of seeing the sweet smile that tugs at Satoru's mouth when he spots him, how his voice often settles like a slave in his chest, how he'll never stop marvelling at how he's not afraid, not worried about the prophecy, not worried about anything.

They're young and stupid at the time, and maybe Suguru is slightly drunk on cheap nostalgia and the bored thrill of an easy victory, and maybe his idea is half a joke or yet another proof of Satoru's influence on him, and he instead of answering, he begins to lean towards him, angle their mouths together, and kiss him.

He kisses him in quick succession, like plunging down the face of a cliff, chasing after him with slow swipes of his tongue, and when he looks at him again, both of them breaking apart, comfortable in the proximity despite everything, he finds him staring at him with wide eyes. For a half-second, he wonders if he's pushed too hard at something that wasn't meant to be his, but then Satoru smiles, clouds parting, and he thinks he can see the entire universe in his eyes.

He runs careful fingers along the line of his jaw, soft and gentle - almost like a prayer - and Satoru kisses him back.

He kisses him, and his skin is warm like he’s steeped in sunlight, and he tastes sweet like all the figs he helped him carry by the armful. Suguru knows this isn't meant to be, that all the prophecies say everything and nothing about him and that his famousness will never be compatible with something like this. He knows this won't end well, and he knows the gods don't like it when their plans are tampered with. He recalls Icarus. He kisses him anyway, and he tells himself that he will always love Satoru, even if there are no more tomorrows - a prophecy he makes for himself.

v. boys like him enable wars, but men like him start them.

When they least expect it, the war comes. They've almost forgotten, for a brief moment, that this small oasis of calm they discovered was always intended to be temporary. The war calls upon kings and princes and warriors, and it is a given fact that Gojo is going to be part of the battle.

That night, as they both lay under the covers (together, covered by a mere blanket which isn't able to hold all the potential, all the dreams placed upon them both, chaining them), there is little talk - little touches make up the space between them, Suguru's soft hands burrowing their way into Satoru's infinity. It’s a cool night, but he’s warm like he always is - like he’s made of sunlight.

"I have to go to war."

The words, despite the fact that the both of them know it, sink downwards in the cool air of the night, weighing the silence down. His fingers reach out towards Suguru's, and at that moment, he's struck by the quiet fact of how, even though he is the closest to divinity out of all those he knows, he is but a mere boy, palms trembling almost imperceptibly, eyes flickering downwards in a way that seems so human.

“Will you come with me?”

Satoru's voice is small, like a boy’s, and his chest tightens. They are both still so very young in the long history of the world.

This isn't Suguru's battle. There are no predictions about his fortune, future, or legacy. He will most likely die, and Gojo will be remembered as a great hero. Or Gojo will die a legend, leaving Suguru alone and in obscurity. He doesn't want either end, but Satoru looks at him with wide, desperate eyes, and he knows this isn't the time to start breaking promises.

"Yes," Suguru says softly, relenting as he always does. "Yes."

The preparations for the war start quickly - much faster than any of them anticipated. They are accompanied by a few from the mountains - taking nothing but their prayers. There are few key changes in the war - grouped up with men unknown to him, they both find themselves out of their depth for the first few days. Satoru doesn’t like the other men they must make company with, the way they look at him like he’s a child who knows nothing about anything, the way they look at him like Suguru doesn’t belong. Slowly, however, they both acclimatize themselves to the sense of camaraderie that comes with being one of those burdened with a destiny, with one of those who don't have a reason to hope.

He claims that the war will not change him, but he is afraid that it already has. Every day, he notices a glimmer of darkness in his eyes. If the person he is today is the result of every day before it, he begins to notice the balance tipping dangerously in one direction, the slow accumulation of the bad outweighing the good, the hard days overtaking the easy ones behind them, and he worries.

Heroes like him aren’t meant to be kind and soft - they don’t carry with them happiness or cheer. He will be terrifying, he knows, when Satoru reaches the battlefield. None of his enemies will know what to do with him. It scares him, seeing the boy he fell in love with getting hollowed out by the hardness that surrounds them both.

The only respite, it seems to him, is the presence of a small girl, given away as a prize to Gojo - who doesn't need her, not when he's beside him. Her name is Riko Amanai, and despite her timidness at first, she unfurls, like a flower among diamonds, laughing along with Suguru, sharing wisecracks with Shoko, watching out for Satoru. Satoru begins to see her as a friend, a sister he's always wanted, and when she dies, the distant sadness in his eyes is the only thing reminding Suguru that he's still human.

In the face of death, Suguru begins to grasp what war truly is like. Up till now, he's known only of victory and pain: the confusion of the battlefield, the roar of the horses and the swords, the absolute chaos that they call order. War is loud, and its cacophony deafens them, deafens them all.

War is a story that’s already written, someone else says. The Fates already know who will live and die. All that’s left to do is wait for it all to play out. You think to yourself that if you could, he’d ask them to write a better one. But the Fates listen to no one, and even if they did, they would never listen to someone like him.

[He remembers a distant memory, of him telling Gojo of a hero's responsibility.

It's your responsibility, he hears, echoing as he carries Riko's dead body, snapped like a butterfly, tender even in death.

It's your responsibility, he hears, echoing, as the men around him begin to clap, blank eyes staring over him and Gojo, the men cheering for the death of a small girl.

It's your responsibility, he hears, echoing as Gojo curls up next to him, teeth clenched, stare blank-]

Two little girls are confined in a cage. Cowering. Something inside him clicks into place. Or it's out of place. It doesn't matter; the beat of red-hot rage quickly pushes it out.

His face is covered in blood. He doesn't care if it's his.

[Fighting, he knows, is a lot like weaving, he remembers Riko telling him. Both of them involve intricate movements, both graceful as they are deadly. He remembers laughing at the strange metaphor then, before taking Riko to Toji, to the other generals he rarely interacts with. Gojo is the one they talk to most of the time - they don't talk to those who don't belong, and Suguru is well aware of the words spoken behind both of their backs.

He remembers a sharp shout, a sob snapped as a half-done weave falls to the ground, and he remembers being too stunned to move.

Somewhere inside him, now, remembering the tragic butterfly, somewhere in the bloodied chasm that he calls his heart, he feels something else snapping too.]

He doesn't feel anything.

With a frighteningly familiar look, young eyes peer up at him.

Trust.

Trust still feels like a butterfly's paper-thin wings (like her!), beating weakly as he scoops the girls into his arms. He puts on a fake smile that must be more genuine than it is.

The next morning, They track bloodied footprints, away from the cage, away from the destruction left in the camp, but then the tracks abruptly end.

vi. I don't have the heart to grieve our past

He is (was) half of his soul, half of his heart, half of (what once was) the strongest pair.

He supposes that is why death isn't so much of a shock to him. Things never go as planned. Maybe they're destined to not - his life is little but a dice in the hands of fate.

It’s a joke how they meet again, two enemies that don’t wish to be, one of them left standing while the other is a smother of blood and robes on the flagstone. At the sight, not a sliver of shock is left to be had in Suguru’s whole being. There is no triumph here. Thinking back on their days at the barracks, exchanging battle strategies and jokes in breaths, and lounging around with their arms looped together — this isn't the end that either of them expected when they met, became friends, and grew to love each other, but it's the end that they're getting.

Yet it's a conclusion Suguru has considered, several times after he had left.

Things never go as planned, and nothing ever goes perfectly.

He nearly kills a god for him. He nearly drives himself mad for him. He wants to tell him that he doesn't want any of this, that he never wanted to see him like this, because the boy he loves is so much more than all of this carnage, but Suguru knows that in some perverse way, this is the only way that he can show the strength of his devotion towards him. His strength will be his undoing. This love is going to be his undoing.

Is this the man or the god within him? Did he ruin him? Were they all right? Suguru, this stain of mortality on him. He, so ordinary in comparison to his glory.

Maybe that's the issue. Gojo was the most powerful. And he-

[He recalls telling him about his vision for the new world. Satoru didn't look at him as if he'd fallen from grace. Instead, he quietly recalls, he looks at him like he is the sun, leaving only destruction and the remains of burnt wax, feathers, and a broken boy.]

-he's the only one strong enough to find him, alone at the end.

"Kill me. There's meaning in that at least."

Was there?

Slowly, Gojo uncurled his fingers, then clenched his fists, knuckles tight, quivering.

Was there a meaning to it?

There's nothing said between them that they both don't already know. His head tips back against the soft ground, and as his hair spills behind him like a large blot, mixing into the dark blood, he doesn't speak for a long time.

“It’s just that I—that in a world like this, I couldn’t laugh from the very bottom of my heart.”

In the moments leading into certain death, Geto wonders if he is allowed to have regrets.

"Suguru," his old friend (can that word even be used to describe the bond they shared, so sacred, so revenant in both of their devotion and destruction?) says. Gojo's words are still stupidly warm, still stupidly bright - like the rest of him. Gojo says something else, his words muffled, and Geto thinks it's unfair that the universe did not tie their threads together. There's no point in lamenting, he remembers telling himself. How stupid, they both were back then.

Just minutes before, Gojo had said, "I trusted you."

I, too, Geto muses, perhaps too late. He feels a warmth even stronger than the one Gojo's words have given him, beckoning him closer. There's a bubble at the bottom of his throat, and when it bursts, all he can say is a feeble, "Hah." Didn't he say he couldn't laugh in this world? Were those not his words? Does Satoru have to always prove him wrong?

"At least curse at me a little at the very end."

It's funny, in a sick, twisted way, how he can barely remember the things he clings to the most: his hands, his eyes, the perfect skin on his brow. He remembers not rushing to memorize the sunrise sky at their fingertips, his heartbeat punching through the gaps between them, the bitter taste of victory in his mouth: always thinking, almost foolishly, that he'd see it again the next morning.

Me too, he thinks, too belatedly, facing him with a smile that turns painfully sincere at the end.

I trust you, still.

As Geto's head falls to lean back against the dust for a final time, the world appears to right itself. The strong triumph over the strong. The righteous triumph over the unjust. Those who are heroes continue as stories, vanquishing monsters, conquering the sun.

If I have to die, Geto finally thinks, then I am glad that it is in your hands.

[And so, he recites the three simple facts he knows.

Your name is Suguru Geto. You are dead. You have been waiting; despite everything; for a long, long time.]

fin.

//Reblogs, likes and comments always appreciated!//

#would reccomend reading on ao3 though if nothing for the more cleaner formatting which it took me forever to get lol #gojou satoru #jjk satoru #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #getou suguru x reader #satosugu #jjk manga #stsg #aru writes #jjk fic #jujutsu kaisen fic #satosugu fic #head in hands shinji style rn because new pseud new me going to go overthink this bye

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