#the people whos only personality is being an asshole

[i-yap]

Batboys x quiet! reader(who is not quiet in private)

( some of the reasons for the quietness is a bit traumatic so uhh warning)

Dick grayson -

opposites attract is possibly my favorite trope ever. And that is exactly what you guys are . Not exactly golden retriever x black cat though people who didn't know you guys well assumed such .

Dick would get exhausted spending forever being charming and charismatic for even the most extroverted of people get tired when they had to manage multiple superhero teams, a detective squad and the whole batfamily.

You were silence, peace serenity almost..until you weren't. Grayson was worried about this relationship in the start, after all you guys were really different. He was afraid you were going to be annoyed by his sunshine self, and that when he isn't feeling like talking, the conversations would go silent.

But you really are so different when comfortable with someone, and its tough not to trust and drop your shield with grayson.

It took him by surprise slowly seeing you open up and show your weird side. It somehow made him cherish it more and even want to show sides of him that only you got to see.

When he asked you why you weren't like this with everyone you said " My parents had a habit of talking over me, sometimes outrightly not hearing me speak at all. No matter how loud I spoke..i wondered if they couldn't hear me...if anyone even wanted to you" "why me then?" asked dick , "you're nothing like my parents, I know you care" and he does..he really does. He won't ever let you feel like that every again. He will make sure everything you want said is heard, and if not he will burn it into the skyline

Jason todd

he appreciated it, a quiet person in public. He hated being in public, he hated the buzz the noise the push the touch of humans around him. He felt strange

till he feels you hold his knowing you felt just as strange as him. Leave the gala and walk around the library , one earphone in each ear listening to whatever you wished to play.

Pulling you close in crowded areas- was it for you or for him? Glaring at anyone who dared tease you about your quietness. A single glare usually does the job but don't worry ...other ways exist too.

He loves that when you two are alone, you are a completely different person. It makes him feel special, like he is the only one who understands you. Because you're the only one who understands him.

When he asks " well I guess I never felt like people liked what came out of my mouth.. my humour too dark, my words too dumb and I didn't make sense. So I stopped trying" don't worry about being cringe..he understands you completely

Tim drake

he is intruiged. How do you pull such a perfect facade. How does one look so poised and collected with those rich assholes and so wild and untamed with him?

He could never really perfect the act the way you did. He's seen you grow up, but somehow its like you were born with two people living in your brain.

If you're this mysterious to your childhood lover, how does anyone in the world even think that they could know you, both versions of you.

Dont get me wrong, he loved it, A mystery he never could solve, not even with your help.

" Teach me your ways master" "I remember you wanting me to call you that last night..oh no wait it was si-" "shut upp" "fine ill tell you timmy boy, I just believe those rich stick up their ass puppets don't deserve to see all ..this.." "what about school kids, friends , teemates-" "I don't need anyone to get me as long as you do"

He will never get it, even if someone engraved it into his skin he wont understand everything about you , you'll always be the case he couldn't solve.

AND WE ARE BACK BICHES , send in requests and stuff, inbox open again blah blah I'm feeling much better now but I might push angst stuff more

#• #Tim Drake x Reader #Tim Drake x You #Tim Drake x Y/N #Tim Drake Fluff #Tim Drake Angst #Tim Drake Comfort #Tim Drake Headcanons #Tim Drake Imagines #Red Robin x Reader #Red Robin x You #Red Robin x Y/N #Batfamily #Batfamily x Reader #Batfamily Fluff #Batfamily x You #Batfamily x Y/N #Batfamily Headcanons #Batfamily Imagines #Batboys #Batboys x Reader #Batboys Fluff #Batboys Headcanons #Batboys Imagines #Jason Todd + Red Hood #Jason Todd x Reader #Jason Todd x You #Jason Todd x Y/N #Jason Todd Fluff #Jason Todd Angst

[askcometcare]

Does Ally feel sorry for betraying Sly’s trust all those years ago?

OOC: good question!

Yes, she does. I think I mentioned in a previous post that Ally was 11 and genuinely just being a stupid kid. Honestly, it wasn't even done maliciously, it was more a "hey I found this out what do you think" cuz she thought it was funny that kit didn't understand the potential consequences of. Another thing to note, kit didn't have feelings for Howie until she was over 12, so this wasn't a jealousy thing. I don't want anyone to assume or perceive Ally as some kind of heartless monster for making a mistake when she wasn't even a teenager yet. She was literally a child.

Nowadays, her clashing with Sly is because of Sly herself's hostility if anything. "Returning the negativity" if that makes sense. She thinks Sly doesn't carry fen's weight and doesn't understand fully just how affected Sly was by the falling out, similar to Howie. She feels bad about what happened but like...

I don't know if everyone realizes that the family doesn't actually know about Sly's depression. The only people who know are their parents because she refuses to talk about it to anyone. If the rest of the family was AWARE of Sly's mental health issues, she would not be treated as just some shut-in, poor hygiene, negative and complaining asshole who constantly yells at everybody. Because that's literally all they see of her.

I think people need to understand that there's a lot of nuance to this situation and nobody involved is a genuinely horrible person

#ooc

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

🎈emoji so I’ll see it:

AITA FOR NOT HUGGING AN AUTISTIC KID? (Long read ahead)

ok so I’m a middle schooler (M), yes I’m 14 (old enough to be on the site) and today we were doing some end of year activities (eg. signing yearbooks, playing games, etc etc). And I was talking to a friend of mine we’ll call her V. Suddenly I was approached by a teacher who said that a kid (let’s say Jessica) wanted to talk to me. I was like “oh ok sure.” Jesica approached me and brought me a card. Now some background on Jessica:

So Jessica is autistic and in all different classes than me. I’ve interacted with her a few times, she seems to have some friends? I don’t really know. In the past I tried to be her friend not knowing she was autistic (this is the possibly asshole part) but her behavior was really strange as she would often say odd things that made me uncomfortable (not perverted or anything but just really awkward) and would really kinda creep me out so once my class with her was over I never spoke to her unless she initiated it which only happened once or twice. Another thing that really bothers me is that I co-lead our showchoir group with V and another student and it’s a difficult job that requires a lot of participation and effort from all the members. Yet Jessica hardly ever does anything, she just sits in a chair half the time while everyone else is working hard. I know that it’s a spectrum and not all autistic ppl are the same but there’s two other autistic dudes who both work super hard and help out a ton!

Anyway she insisted that it had to be a surprise and told me to close my eyes and put out my hands. I absolutely hate closing my eyes in public due to the worry that someone will touch me while my eyes are closed but I didn’t wanna upset her so I did it anyway. When I opened my eyes she’d placed a folded over piece of paper in my hands. She’d written a card in pink magic marker, it was almost illegible so all I could make out was “my full name and grade, the date, summer (have a good summer?), and school. She asked me to read it out loud so I mumbled a bunch of sounds together to make it seem like I was reading it even though I couldn’t tell what it said on account of the handwriting. She seemed satisfied so I thanked her telling her how much I appreciated and moved to leave when she said “and what do we say?” Confused I said “thank you”. I think that was the right answer? She then put out a hand toward me which is a pretty normal gesture in our school meaning you want the other person to dap you up. So I did, to which she seemed confused and tried to shake my hand. She then said “don’t I get a hug? You have to hug me right?” I HATE hugs. It brings back traumatic memories and I really really could not bring myself to hug her epesecially since I didn’t know her well. “I told her I’m sorry but I don’t do hugs. I just really don’t like them.” She looked disappointed at that and then said “that was really sweet of me right, writing you a letter?” I didn’t know how to reply to that so I said “yeah it’s great.” She replied saying I had to right her back and that I should “write it at home and give it to her the next day”. Knowing I’d forget, I just grabbed a piece of paper and wrote it to her right there. It was a simple paragraph on a different sheet of paper with the usual stuff, “have a good summer, you’re really cool, good luck in hs” the kind of stuff you write in someone’s yearbook. she seemed satisfied and she put her hand out again so I dapped her up again. She then shook my hand vigorously and walked away saying she’d see my tommorow.

I hated everything about this encounter but I still feel like I did a good job being nice and stuff even though I have a hard time being patient with people that pressure me to do things (eg. Writing her another letter, hugging, affirming her over and over, the handshake thing). Idk V said it was a strange situation and I handled it fine but again was not hugging her bad of me? Or like did I mess up in some other way? I have no beef with autistic people at all and I’m friends with a few of them but is it wrong of me to just not like her?

Also thanks for reading all that but if it was too long:

TLDR: autistic girl wanted me to hug her as thanks for her writing me a letter and I declined, aita?

#aita #am i the asshole

[astriddestelle]

I feel like a good portion of the Danny Phandom has not watched Danny Phantom. I just - how do they manage to write everyone so wrong (subjective or objective whatever) but like damn. Just once I’d like to read a fic that doesn’t have Danny being this super angsty my parents want to kill me, or this super powerful ghost king, or this cracked out on sugar peak 2000s scene kid.

Like omg did yall watch the show. Danny is goofy but he’s not rawr goofy, he’s strong, but he’s not this infinite otherworldly being, he highkey doesn’t care his parents are trying to kill him cause he knows when he tells them they’ll love them.

And I know fanfic is up to interpretation but I just wanna read a Danny Phantom that isn’t super OOC. It sucks cause also half the stories are crossover with DC where all they do is wank Batman and co and bash the Justice League and I just don’t get it.

Yes Batman adopts orphans, no he will not automatically be the nicest person upon meeting Danny. In fact he’s canonically assholes to people he views as threats. You know who is nice the fucking dudes from the Midwest who grew up eating humble pie (Superman and Flash) not the rich ass billionaire from the city. Come on.

I’m just frustrated it’s so hard finding decent DP fics that I like these days and I miss the fandom but it seems like this trend is here to stay so I’ll never be as involved as I was back in the day. Sigh.

The only good thing that’s come of this is the Jason Todd/Jazz ship and that’s it.

Maddie and Jack if they aren’t evil incarnate are like so neglectful it hurts like yes they were in show but it was played for laughs

Sam is always super perfect and amazing. Tucker doesn’t exist and Dani is a pseudo daughter like what. He’s 14 y’all. Younger cousin and or sister is right there. Sigh I’m just too old for these tropes now I guess. Idk.

#danny phantom #dpxdc sucks #dc x dp #dc x dp crossover #dc #danny phantom fanfic

[wildpeachfarm]

so like. why are they acting like only hannah was in charge of the event. when sylvee was right there. and their reactions were WILDLY different

and sylvee and her mods could keep everyone un check, and sylvee was super understanding, and was asking the rivals team for fairness, and said the game shouldn't be counted. why are they saying that we made that up, or that it was only sapnap saying that ?

sylvee is RIGHT THERE. under the SAME amount of pressure. why are they acting like she doesn't exists ?

WELL YES!!

They are acting like Hannah was the only person running this event on her own servers when...she had a co-host, it ultimately was a twitch event, and it CLEARLY wasn't strenuous on her considering she was ALSO COMPETING IN THE EVENT 😭😭💀💀💀💀

Sylvee kept her chat in check and so did many other streamer so I don't understand how suddenly when I say:

"hannah needs to control her mods and she never reprimands people for shittalking dteam in her chat and it fosters a toxic chat"

it's met with:

"fuck you! hannah was so stressed out its not her job to control her mods!!!" "oh wow women can't do anything right, huh?"

LIKE HELLO?????😭😭😭😭😭 they claim I'm somehow pushing a double standard by criticising hannah but I would've done this with anyone and also ITS A COMPLETELY REASONABLE EXPECTATION to assume a streamer will stop their mods and chat from being assholes💀

Ultimately these insane hannah defenders will completely remove sylvee from the equation if it means they can further excuse hannah's poor behavior and it's SUCH a disservice to sylvee who is working JUST AS HARD for this event and her mods weren't shittalking participants and she wasn't vagueing about other players either.

So insane

#ask

[antianakin]

Satine is one of the most frustrating characters of all time because she seems like she should be an enjoyable, interesting, complex character. She's got one of the most interesting backstories of any character I've ever met, and I'd LOVE more of THAT story (not the on the run with Obi-Wan bit, that bit can get left out, but the bit where she has to somehow bring together an entire population of warring people who just nearly destroyed their own planet due to years of fighting and a civil war that just killed her father and she managed to convince them into a peaceful, pacifist lifestyle while she was only a teenager). The level of strength and competency that this would require of her is INSANE.

I want to know more about where this prime minister came from, whether he was ACTUALLY elected or if Satine chose him, whether the position existed prior to Satine or if she created it, and what the actual difference is between Satine's role as a ruling duchess who inherited her role through birth and the prime minister. I want to know more about Satine's relationship with her father and with Bo-Katan. I want to know more about where the fuck Korkie came from and how Satine ended up with him and what happened to this mysterious third Kryze sibling that is presumably Korkie's parent.

And the concept of Satine as this person who was raised in a culture of war and violence and who, at a pretty young age, insistently chose to follow the opposite ideology of pacifism, and how these two very differing things impact her as a leader is INTERESTING. Satine as someone who struggles with an instinct towards violence and arrogance because it's how she was raised but who WANTS to be calm and reasonable and peaceful and strives towards this ideal as much as possible even though she doesn't always achieve it is INTERESTING. Satine as someone who clings to her pacifist ideology so hard that it becomes a fault of its own sometimes (by causing her to REFUSE to see nuance in anyone else's situation) is INTERESTING.

And yet, that's never the character we get.

There's no real nuance to Satine. There's never any real discussion of Satine making MISTAKES or being WRONG. When she condemns Obi-Wan and the Jedi, the narrative supports her. When her choice to remain neutral cuts her planet off from all trade, the consequences of it aren't attributed to HER choices but to literally EVERYONE ELSE'S as they struggle to deal with the ramifications without her ever bothering to find a solution to a problem SHE CAUSED. She threatens an innocent man with imprisonment for wanting to save a warehouse full of evidence from being blown up and it's just brushed off as Satine being passionate about her cause instead of a dangerously incompetent and arrogant asshole. And somehow she was strong enough to stand up to a bunch of Mandalorains who had just been at war with each other and force them into being at peace, but when Death Watch shows up with a few criminals she immediately rolls over and surrenders without even bothering to fight back in any way, but this is represented as Satine giving the people what they want instead of Satine just being weak.

Believe me, I WANT to like her. The version of Satine that is implied by her backstory is so interesting, but the version that exists in the present day is one of the worst political leaders we're introduced to in Star Wars. At least most of the other terrible political leaders have the decency to be openly lazy or selfish or evil. Satine is presented as this perfect benevolent intelligent leader and then every action she takes is the stupidest, most arrogant bullshit imaginable that constantly just makes her and her people's lives worse. What is there to enjoy about that?

#star wars #anti satine #anti satine kryze #satine critical #satine kryze critical #if they leaned into satine being contradictory and complicated as a leader i could get behind that #but they don't #they keep pretending that what i'm seeing is completely in line with what i've been told and it's... not

[bluemoonhoon]

secret proposals

lee heeseung x fem reader smau series

previous - masterlist - next

THIRTEEN my boy only breaks his favorite toys wc: 3.0k

content warning: misogyny, xenophobia, anxiety, jeongin makes an appearance and he is a bit of an asshole (sorry :/)

21 : 15

even though you had been getting used to attending events created by and for the elite people in Seoul, the weird feeling of being there couldn't leave your body. it felt like going uninvited to a party or meeting your ex in a get-together.

except, this time both of these things were happening in a single night.

this party was what you´ve been supposedly preparing since your acquaintance with lee heeseung. and even though you were incredibly scared to be there; the fact that during this time you´ve been able to not completely dislike the presence of heeseung and his friends made you feel a little more comfortable in spending time in this ginormous event that was making headlines in society.

In the days leading to this event, you were getting used to the company of lee heeseung in your day-to-day. from picking up food to driving you home after work. the fact that you've developed the ability to share more than a sentence in a conversation with a man like him made pretty obvious that this acquaintance had the opportunity to create a friendship.

so maybe tonight will not be that bad.

it was the first time in this type of event you went without Jiwoo. but even though she was not attending she made sure to give you a two-hour lecture on what to expect, the fact that her almost fiancé is the one that is celebrating his engagement with the oldest daughter from the Shen family who were famous all around the continent for their jaw-dropping events that matched their visuals made her the most knowledgeable in this topic and also was capable on stopping your mind from overthinking how commonly arranged marriages were between this social circle.

and finally arriving at this event left you mesmerized by how outlandish the event looked even from the entrance. you didn't know if you were in a daze thanks to the decoration or if it was because there was an incredibly large amount of people taking flash photos of whoever walked through.

you quickly made your way next to heeseung with his hand in yours to where the park brothers were sitting near the bar with jaeyun coming right behind you. and with this, the plan to "act like a perfectly happy couple" officially started.

even though you were more than comfortable spending the whole night next to the people who actually liked your company. the fact that you were personally invited by the brother of the future groom made obvious the necessity of going with him to say hi to every. single. person. inside the venue. the typical kind smile and being introduced by him to an insane amount of people who probably had an insane quantity of money since they were born talking in an oddly posh accent of small talk that was incredibly tone deaf made your social battery run out faster than expected.

finally returning to your seat next to the boys who you would now call your friends made you feel better. and the fact that this is the first time you haven't heard condescending comments directly at your face (or at all just yet) made you think that maybe the name lee heeseung had more weight than you expected in the minds of these people.

everything was going great, the ambiance was nice, and you were starting to have a good time. the occurrences of sunghoon and his comments catching you up on the recent gossip ending in jay shutting him up before people got to hear what he was saying was something you were enjoying. this was the first time you got to experience hanging out with heeseung´s friends without your own and they were kind enough to make you feel comfortable in an unknown place.

it wasn't until tipsy sunghoon started to get quiet that you realized heeseung was no longer next to you and was standing near the bar with a group of people you hadn't been introduced to. even though he was politely smiling while receiving a glass you could see his bored eyes waiting for his way to escape. you turned to jake and whispered

"should I go get him?" you said, pointing your head in that direction.

"can you? I can go with him if you want" he answered you quietly. "he just looks uncomfortable" you told him making jake sigh "he is always uncomfortable when he's with them"

"who are they?" you asked him curiously "they are seunghans friends, they are a real gem," he said sarcastically.

"don't worry I'll go" he finished while getting up.

as you saw jake walk away in their direction you realized it could look weird for you to not be spending any time with heeseung, sure, you spent a good time greeting people and sitting at the same table. but since the moment you arrived, you had not talked with him directly it was always in a group setting. making your mind up, you excused yourself and made your way to them.

only to be stopped right in the middle by the one and only. yang jeongin. you expected to see him here. however, you did not expect that man to make an act of presence in front of you ever (well, knowing him you did) but not today. just seeing him made you upset and even if you wanted to act like he didn't exist and continue your route, the fact that he was literally in front of you and addressing you made obvious the fact that you could not escape this just yet.

"yn, nice to see you here," he said as if you were an old friend.

you just wanted to laugh

"hi jeongin," you said dryly

he sensed your tense and awkward vibe (not like you were hiding your unhappiness in his company) and just ignored it maybe wanting to bother you, he continued.

"I didn't expect you to be invited to an event like this," he said in a condescending voice "Is your business doing well nationally? I haven't heard a lot from it?"

"It's actually doing pretty well, thank you for asking" you answered politely while not making eye contact and looking for a place to run to. you were relating to heeseung from moments ago.

if someone saw this conversation and the excruciating dislike between the both of you; they would realize how neither of you enjoyed sharing a space with the other.

you wondered how you might have been in a relationship with him before.

"well, I haven't been in seoul a lot you know?" he continued not letting you go. "worldwide fashion week is really a hassle. there are a lot of suppliers and stores that want to work with me. I was recently reached out by vogue france, amazing right?" he bragged in a quite innocent tone that you recognized thanks to all the time you spent together.

you didn't know what he was looking for in all of this conversation, hurting you? making you miss him? reminisce about your past? think about the dreams he achieved and created while you were a part of him? remember the support you gave him that was probably what gave him a kick-start and also the main reason he left you?

"that's great, congratu-" you tried to say empty words just to be interrupted.

"innie!" lee heeseung made an act of appearance. greeting jeongin with a smile. "when did you get here?" he asked

"it's nice seeing you hee. I got here last week" jeongin answered while hugging heeseung.

after they let go of their reencounter, sensing your antsy expression heeseung held your hand softly while standing in front of you lightly enough for his shoulder to hide you from the other man's front view. jeongin looks at your intertwined hands and then at both of you with a mischievous little smile.

"right" he started "you are dating, I saw the news, congratulations" he continued in a friendly tone while heeseung thanked him and you were only nodding with a kind smile still not looking at him. your mind counting the seconds until this encounter finished.

"are you getting along well? she is quite a convenient company right hee?" jeongin asked him directly with a condescending tone.

"what do you mean?" heeseung asked not understanding the reason for this comment.

"oh you know" he started. "she is quite a catch right?" he laughed. "even though people in seoul don't really care, she is rather well-connected in europe, I expect to see you making deals and start manufacturing in one of those countries soon, am I right?"

incredible, that man was not cynical enough, firstly he was admitting that he only had you in his life to gain something, and somehow he is proud of it?? did he truly never appreciate everything you did for him out of the goodness of your heart, but expects everyone to treat you like he did?

your mind could not comprehend his words; who did he talk to about you? how was it possible for a person to acknowledge he did not start his project on his own and took full advantage of your love for him just to achieve it without being reprimanded for being a scum of a person. was it because you had no one to defend you? or because this is the type of behavior they tend to use constantly?

"I don't understand," heeseung said while looking between the both of you. you refused to look at him trying to act indifferent to the comments of the man in front of you but failing in it ending with the beginning of a helpless look on your face.

jeongin ignored him seeing as he finally got a reaction out of you and kept going. "or is it that you are now the one getting something out of him? are jiwoo and your influencer friend not enough?"

heeseung got quiet and kept looking at you when he felt your hand hold his tighter. and before even thinking of what to say he saw jake approaching.

"mr. yang-" you started with the intention of shutting his mouth only for jake to come to save you both from this shitty interaction with even more awful news.

"heeseung. your dad is looking for the both of you," he said while sensing the tension and only acknowledging jeongin with a nod. "like, right now" he said before directing to the man in front of you three "excuse us".

jake saves the day again. finally being away from your ex-boyfriend the air you've been holding comes out in a sigh. both of the men walking next to you are aware of your troubled eyes; heeseung can feel you shaking slightly and even though he wanted to get you out of there. there was a bigger fish to catch today.

the table where heeseungs parents were was on the other side of your current location. the short walk there was incredibly excruciating and even though you started this agreement knowing his parents would disapprove of you being near them in a ´meet my partner´ setting was making your stomach hurt.

At the table, there were both of his parents with his mother's sister and his older cousin who clearly did not know who you were. (lies you were aware they, in fact, did a background check on you)

heeseung introduced you to them and after sharing your greetings you let them talk first.

"it is nice meeting you yn" heeseungs mother started. "how did you two meet?" she asked.

heeseung answered first while holding one of your hands in both of his "sunghoon introduced us at an event" he said simply with a small smile.

"woah, park sunghoon playing matchmaker" his cousin added quietly.

all the small talk that needed to happen between the table was going smoothly. even though your words were at a minimum and heeseungs father had not said a single thing.

while sensing the conversation was coming to an end, heeseung made subtle movements that stated he was getting ready to leave until his father finally talked.

"where did you say you worked, miss?" he asked looking at you.

nervous by hearing his voice for the first time directly talking to you. shyly you answered. "I run the seoul division for an art conservatorship company, sir"

and he just nodded.

what did a nod mean? was it a good sign? was he planning on how to kidnap heeseung so he could marry a more appropriate match? you avoided eye contact with everyone. your spirits were on the floor and your social battery was expiring. but at least this conversation was decent enough.

"miss kang where are you from?" heeseungs aunt asked and you got a little confused.

"I was born here," you said while not fully understanding what was going on.

"really?" she asked again

"well, I grew up in france, but my childhood was spent here in seoul" you explained, and she brightly continued.

"that is it, it's just that you don't really act like you're from here" she finished her comment.

everyone laughed awkwardly except for the both of you, and his father who was ignoring everything. you truly found her words out of place. lee seunghan, leiras oldest son was marrying a foreign girl. they arranged the couple. how was that not a problem but you growing up outside your home country was? did seunghans fiancee experience the same thing as you are right now? how did she handle it? was seunghan defending her? or did he stay quiet just like his younger brother is doing right now.

you really wanted to go home now. you expected things to not be perfect, but this is so bad. you were back to the feelings you had before sitting at this table. and finally, since this whole night heeseung decided to act and get you out of this conversation.

"it was nice getting to introduce you to each other but we have to return to our table," he said getting up and waiting for you to follow. "it was a pleasure meeting you all," you said trying to not sound choked up.

finally walking away your pulse increased and your breathing became shallower. before heeseung had a chance to react you stopped in your tracks and excused yourself to the bathroom without waiting for his answer.

getting into the lonely bathroom you clutched your chest while gasping for air. you wanted to cry and throw yourself on the ground. you´ve never felt worse in this type of events. you wanted to call someone and vent but your shaking hands did not allow you to grab your phone. you still had an obligation and if you went out of this venue alone or way too early the comments of you would be even more ruthless and not even being associated with the lee family could save you. maybe the influence heeseung talked about did not include a safety blanket for you.

you tried to calm down holding onto the cold metal of the door handle to ground yourself. your blurry vision thanks to the tears had to disappear because you would not allow people to see you like this. you tapped water on the back of your neck to not ruin your hair or makeup and with a deep breath and quiet self-encouraging words you walked out.

looking for heeseung you saw him with the same group of seunghan friends from earlier. and while none of them would´ve been able to see you directly you approached them thinking he would be as uncomfortable as he was before.

and while getting closer you finally heard what they were saying.

"if I'm being honest hee, I thought you would be dating jo yuri. I didn't expect you to be with kang yn, someone like her doesn't look like your type. but you know what they say, love makes you blind" a girl you didn't know said and the others laughed making your anxious feelings return with a ring in your ears. you could only identify heeseung reaction after those people near him kept talking.

he laughed, he fucking laughed. do friends laugh at people talking shit about their supposed friend? you didn't even listen to what else they said after your name kept being mentioned while walking away from there.

the moment he saw you from afar, he bid goodbye and calmly got next to you seeing the stage in the center of the venue where the future couple were present.

did he not care about what people said about you? was he just using you to get out of getting constant marriage proposals? you weren't really doing your job right because even though in the peoples' eyes he was taken, people still tried to set him up.

were you not good enough at helping him? did he think your acting was not good enough so you weren't worthy of getting defended by him?

you were tired of this.

as much as you wanted to get mad at him and maybe scream a little bit. you knew how this worked. you didn´t need the attention of the people here who clearly didn't like you and were waiting for a minimum slip-up to make critiques heard. you were great at acting like you didn´t care about people's opinions. and whether the rest of the night and the ride home were going to be uncomfortable was no longer on you.

"after tonight don't call me again," you said while not looking at him now that no one was close to you.  

"you don't need someone like me in your life and I don't want someone who allows people to make such comments about me". you finished while staying by his side and smiling softly at the couple doing a toast in front of you.

you didn't know lee heeseung before this fiasco and you would not know him after today.

taglist: (@eleanorheartschishiya, @enhaslxt, @ddazed-lhs @nctislifue, @ariadores, @ineedsomezzz , @webjeje , @enhaz1 , @strayy-kidz , @firstclassjaylee , @cupidity99, @heeoao, @trinxt, @flwrstqr , @heeswif3y , @woninluv , @erehkinnie30 , @inlovewithasa, @mrmld , @sumzysworld , @simjyunnie, @yizhuotv @splat00z , @heehappi , @yogirllia )

#enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen smau #enhypen x reader #enhypen #lee heeseung #lee heesung x reader #enhypen lee heeseung #heeseung

[tomnookishot]

although i feel i will most likely expand on it more in the future as i discover more about myself and the Aromantic Lifestyle, i think for now this might be my hatoful aro masterpost. this all has been on my mind for the past few weeks without me even recognising it and so i kinda just want to touch on uh. almost all of the main characters tbh.

when, a few years ago, i made those UGLY pride headcanon pieces (and yes i hate ALL of them now even yuuya and sakuya and i have considered remaking them but can't muster the willpower to do so) i think i was still weaning off of my inner asshole fandom gay who sat me down and told me "hey bitch. these fags better be AT LEAST bi or else you are homophobic. that's right you HOMOPHOBE i'll KILL YOU!!" as a baby gay i never felt like it was my place to say "hey i don't actually think these characters would be gay" or "i think the emotions projected onto them are not fully fleshed out or accurate to their personality" because i thought expressing a differing opinion made me an asshole, and in my defense there were and continue to be people who say that if you DON'T hc a character as queer, and queer in an acceptable way, then you are homophobic. but look at me now! i'm an asshole! and im defending the rights of aros everywhere 😤 (it's me it's literally just me im the only aro im defending). all of this is to say i have changed a lot of my opinions on the characters through my own exploration of them and through other people's inputs. and im here to tell YOU that you are AROPHOBIC if you don't hear me out and proceed to align all of your headcanons exactly with mine and then give me all of your money and you don't want to be aphobic now do you?

the character that i actually initially wanted to make an aro post about was my sweet normal-type trainer ryouta. i have to be honest with everyone. i actually think ryouta might be hetero. i honestly had no solid idea about his identity when i made my omni hc i genuinely just looked up a list of pride flags so i could say something interesting and im not fucking joking. it was a different time in my life. i actually don't think he would have an interest in men. i just don't read it in him. he admires male characters but that hardly goes beyond signs of genuine friendship. if anything i can see what people say about him after bbl with sakuya but like. is it inappropriate for me to say that i see it as. sometimes going through a traumatic experience with a friend and then having them want you to be safe could be a sign of platonic bonding and trust. i am not sure if ill bring this up more in this post but genuinely one of my least favorite things about internet fandom culture is having to defend yourself when saying a pair of characters might be friends. it so often devolves into arophobia and the devaluing of friendship when I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROMANCE AND FRIENDSHIP in the FIRST PLACE. im not here to say you're WRONG for reading it as romantic. in fact i think in this case it's lowkey fair to do so. but not only is my reading different, i would like to ask an audience that doesn't agree to go into the rest of this post being mindful of the prejudices that are involved with being deeply defensive about romantic headcanons, and that it SUCKS being aromantic and having to add disclaimers like this about your ideas when most queer fandom spaces never expect you to have them for headcanons concerning most other LGBT identities.

anyway. what just happened i blacked out i take no responsibility for anything that i just said. what i wanted to say was that while i really don't read The Gay on ryouta, i think demiro RADIATES from him. i don't remember what it came from, it might've been the qna translation i did, but that time moa was like "if ryouta couldn't be with hiyoko he would probably just be okay being single forever" had me thinkin. i think the typical allo interpretation would probably be "oh so noble he would be so hung up on his old crush that he would never move on to someone new" but i think, when you red string bulletin board this quote across a couple other loose pieces of evidence you can see that it's pretty g-dang demi of him. his attraction to hiyoko stems almost exclusively from his connection with her. he hardly ever makes comments about her looks or how pretty she is. his ideal relationship with her is to just continue the things they've been doing forever, except now they're married i guess. he loves her for the way he's always thought of her, and for the fact that she's such a wonderful friend. she's ALWAYS been strong and supportive, he says. that's what makes ryouta admire her, he says.

he gets defensive when someone gets emotionally close with her. something that always stood out to me in his talk with yuuya on the holiday star was when he says something along the lines of "nageki knows a side of hiyoko that i don't." his fears come from someone knowing hiyoko in a similar intimate way that he does, and i think that's because that's the only way he might process romantic attraction coming to be. he also invalidates the way he believes yuuya sees attraction. in that same talk he throws jabs at how yuuya plays with girls and doesn't really come to know them, and again, besides coming from a society that is against casual sexuality, i think that would make a lot of sense within the context of ryouta seeing deep emotional connection as the only way you can have a "real" romantic love. i think ryouta doesn't really have a want or need to dig deeper into the implications of his attractions, which obviously results in him not even realising he has a crush on hiyoko, but i also think he just isn't. that concerned with figuring out where he stands in terms of romantic orientation. in a world where he is mlm, i think he would probably never recognise that or at least never label it, but regardless, if he's demi i think he would just never see that not everyone experiences attraction the way he does. i think he would be infinitely confused with the people who get married based on five months of dating after meeting on a dating app, which is what i do. honestly i just think ryouta is so accustomed to the status quo of being a young supportive straight guy that he sees his own demiromanticism as, if anything at all, just him being peak love story protagonist. so in conclusion i see ryouta as a hetero-demiromantic who doesn't KNOW that he's demiromantic.

as im trying to decide how i want to order this, i think i have to get someone out of the way. everyone knows i hate him with a passionate fury and i genuinely don't like thinking about him BUT. i have shoe eewahmeanay thoughts. im sorry. i have read what the shuu likers have to say about him. i have read the accursed pieces on his relationship to ryuuji. and your first assumption may be that i would read shuu as aromantic, because i am a freak. well it's not true. i actually DON'T see him as strictly aromantic. i think reading emotions through a clinical and cold view is very common to the aspec experience, especially to romance- and sex-repulsed people. putting yourself completely outside of the actions and experiences and just viewing them through a purely scientific this-is-what-social-creatures-in-A-Society-do-sometimes standpoint, you can find more ease and comfort in examining how other people view relationships. but im not here to argue that this is something that makes shuu aro (considering that is literally something he does), rather i would like to argue that this is something that stems from shuu being a general freak when it comes to Having Relationships. i kind of assume shuu might be somewhere on the arospectrum and as a certified shuu hater it's not my place to decide exactly where but i still see a possibility of attraction being an element of his actions. but it's fucked up™ attraction. i think more than anything being a little neglected boy already part of an upper class where genuine connection is discouraged is the biggest factor in iwamine's stunted social development, but he's also just. i don't think he was ever wired to desire or feel connection, not like most other people at least.

i will happily back the idea that isa was desperate for a well-rounded father figure, and that this is what lead him to becoming so deeply attached to ryuuji rather than him just having a gay crush. he is extremely fucking complicated and i know the shuu likers know that. im pretty sure most articulated shuu opinions will probably factor in the bad childhood and unhealthy dependencies into isa's view on ryuuji. i also think, though, that it is entirely too interesting to imagine that isa cannot comprehend the weight or meaning of his own emotions. i don't know if he's aromantic because on a fundamental level i cannot understand any attractions that i feel and it is extremely difficult to parse through different types of attraction. i think that is exactly the kind of compelling idea to play around with for shuu. i think he would sort through his feelings about ryuuji only after his passing, that being the critical trigger for him to do so and he would be unwilling to think too much about it otherwise, and if/when he did, it would still be in his patented narrow, clinical view. i don't think it's ridiculous to believe that there are unknown and involuntary brain fuck-ups going on that stem from attraction in that guy. of course shuu as an adult can only define his relationship to ryuuji through given societal standards, and i genuinely think there is something deeper than romantic intention there, but shuu may only come to the conclusion of "i'm a fucked up little freak boy who secretly liked being cared about but also i kinda thought he was attractive" (paraphrasing) due to the few words that our world gives us to define different relationships. really he just needs therapy.

um but my issue, the only one that really made me think about my arch nemesis this much, is the sheer amount of fluff that people write him into. it's INSANE. THOSE are the shuu likers who i don't think are as articulated as the ones i RESPECT. regardless of how shuu feels about ryuuji or what attraction he feels for him, shuu shows time and time again an inability to actually express his feelings about other people in any typical way. most of the time he just. y'know. expresses himself through violence and negativity. his interactions with ryuuji are usually dry and riddled with criticisms. shuu ends up carrying out his legacy through genocide. any friendship he could've conceived with tohri was always shut down because isa was always blunt with him, although i think isa didn't genuinely have any ill will towards tohri; tohri is just kind of an insecure guy who is very sensitive to criticism. with hiyoko the only way he can live with her is through actual murder. oh and did i say live i mean commit suicide. i don't know how he feels about hiyoko and to be honest im not terribly eager to figure it out but my point is that shuu only ever expresses positive emotions through negative means. i don't care if you think shuu just wants to be ryuuji's son or if you think shuu is a raging homosexual. he wouldn't be able to make it known either way. there is a post, and i don't have the will to dig it up because to my memory it was very crude but i found it funny nonetheless. i think it was tumblr user fluffyheretic who made a post saying something like "shuu iwamine would not be a hot daddy dom he would be googling 'how to kiss' on google dot com" and honestly yeah. i-- like-- how would that man ever be hot or god forbid fluffy in any other context than his chubby widdle partwidge cheeks. he would not be able to fathom a romantic relationship with the people he knows. he'd probably just like. idk. fantasize about dissecting their body and that would be the only thing he could imagine for days on end. and OH MY GOD. no he would not fucking plan a date. i am throwing shade to the fucks on ao3. this fag would not be cute or romantic at all. he would be off-putting and then you would leave. that would be the date. you might get a back-handed compliment. that's literally how he "courts" hiyoko. NOBODY LIKES HIM. in-game i mean. he is unlikeable. he is a dickhead. hiyoko and ryuuji are the only people to ever form a positive opinion of him because they are positive forces who love everyone. everyone else at the very least says mean shit about him behind his back. shuu iwamine aka isa souma aka utsuro ichijou is an aspec anomaly to me and it doesn't matter if he's aro or not. it's not like he could ever fucking land a date anyway.

transition to someone who is kind of that bitch's opposite: sakuya. or i guess really shuu's good parallel. that constitutes an entire post of its own tbh but. i think in general, even people who aren't that invested in aromanticism in hatoful could probably get down with grayro sakuya. to me at least, it kinda just makes sense on a basic level. he's not really invested in interpersonal relationships, even during his dating route which, need i mention, has its arc revolve around sakuya's personal growth and hardly is it ever implied he is attracted to hiyoko. the only time he ever begins to really feel exceptionally strongly about the people around him is coincidentally the same timeline in which yuuya tells him about their shared history: bbl. that's when he gains a sense of responsibility for his actions and feels a genuine care for his friends, and of course a painful regret for how he treated yuuya in particular his entire life. im almost tempted to call him straight up aromantic but ill let him be grayromantic as a treat. i think it compliments ryouta's demi-ness as the other part of the bbl pair. it also makes sense to me in the context of his very rare flattery in response to other people's praise, i think particularly hiyoko's. i find the thing he says in response to that one question about romantic types, the "someone who has acquired high-class refinement and etiquette. if one does not have those qualities, then they do not deserve to stand by my side," also kind of telling about sakuya's relationship to romance. obviously it's influenced by his role as a noblebirdie and the expectation he finds a partner as a political duty, but also notice how he says it in response to "who is your type?" and not something like "who do you see yourself marrying in the future?" it's not a description of personality or looks, it's a description of behavior. it's a detached response, implying that romance, to him, is not about what he finds attractive. romance is something that is EXPECTED of him. it could generally be assumed, i think, that if you actually did have a type in people, then regardless of if you were to be in an arranged marriage you would be happy to tell other people of that type. I'm sure the most common spin of this is just going to be that sakuya is really dedicated to the whole aristocrat bit but i think it reflects a lack of real interest in romantic relationships. if i were an aro prince thing and the press asked me what my type was, id probably also just respond with how my parents are going to decide who to set me up with. i'm not really looking for anything else, am i?

now. i have something controversial to say. i have gone. back and forth a hundred times on this boy and how i think he feels. and to be honest with everyone i think i might be a yuuya aromantic truther. i think yuuya is a very flirtatious aromantic little freak. and i know, right, he's like the most romantic guy in the entire cast. but it's very similar to the yuuya asexuality logic where flirting and romantic facades are simultaneously his only way of connecting to other people and yet also something that drives a wedge further between him and his connections. when he actually gets close to hiyoko, which is one of, if not the most intimate relationship he develops within the series, it's honestly not that romantic in nature. they're kinda just like. hangin out, but spy-type hangin out. like the entire post i wrote about hiyoko and yuuya's friendship. i know the whole partners-in-crime, two-of-us-against-the-world trope is usually a romantic one, but consider the beauty of the platonic version. consider the freedom. the commitment almost feels more intense when you drop the chains of romantic pressure to stay together. i think the best possible outcome of yuuya's dating route is tosakazaki qpr. besties but with COMMITMENT. besties but they love each other more than ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. the word queerplatonic has been ruined for me for various reasons but i just know they can reclaim it. i think yuuya might be so casual about romance and sex because he knows it's not in the cards for him. i can say your mom and i are in a committed relationship together with a completely straight face because i will never ACTUALLY be in a committed relationship with your mother. yuuya, similarly, can say he is in a committed relationship with everyone on the planet with a completely straight face because he knows he won't ever actually be in a committed relationship with anyone on the planet. it's so baller of him. i send kiss emojis to my friends and call them hot everyday but i would vomit if they got too close to me. maybe yuuya wouldn't be as touch-repulsed as the little freak i am but i think he would understand flirting as this somewhat rude way to compliment other people without getting too close. that's like. his entire thing.

ill be honest i have very little evidence for aro yuuya i just really WANT it to be real. yuuya- and hiyoko-type aromanticism is just very relatable to me. i relate to and love how they obsess over their friends, especially the way yuuya does it from a comfortable exaggerated distance that makes it clear he just wants to flatter you, and i just WANT it to be in an aro way. because i need more overtly flirtatious characters who just Do Not Want romance. because i need on a visceral level to normalise the presence of romantic elements in a completely platonic setting. making hiyoko and yuuya aromantic, to me, is my big fuck you. i will make these romantic characters aromantic and i will do it again. epic fuck you moment for the people who insist there are things that have to be romantic. epic fuck you moment for the people who claim things that don't involve them as a romantic scenario. my omnipotent level takes on these stupid bird characters are leagues ahead of your stupid baby "weah weh but he risked his life for her that's romance" incorrect IDIOT im literally living my life out of bounds and you're still debating on whether it's gay for a character to literally just CARE about another person.

okay okay i know that sounded like a conclusion but it wasn't fuck off. i'm only halfway through the main cast do you really think im done?

i think nageki is one of the characters i actually don't REALLY care about in terms of romantic identity but i've defaulted to aromantic as a defense mechanism against uncomfortable shit. i think it makes sense with his character (i love autism) and his storyline. but there's a lot of projection there too. and my feeling of protectiveness over a character i really love in such a personal way. i also think it meshes cutely with the fact that hiyoko and hitori, his SIBLINGS!! are aromantic themselves. so that's my headcanon, but honestly i don't feel THAT headstrong about it. i don't think it really makes sense in my head for him to be gay but i dont really care either way about other people's opinions on the matter. i think what bothers me is just that he's REALLY young and there is some Weird Shit that people put him in. sometimes i see him portrayed as. weirdly lustful??? or like uncomfortably obsessive? and not only is that sort of thing low-key weird as hell but like. did you play the game LMAO. clearly you don't know him like i do. sorry everybody part of being aromantic and bringing that into your favouwite tings is being PETTY AS HELL!!! that's my job here.

i thought i had more to say about nageki considering he's like. almost my oldest aro og but i kinda. don't. actually i spent an undisclosed amount of time tracking down a japanese playthrough of hatoful to see which version of "i love you" nageki used in his final speech but it honestly didn't clear very much up. and keep in mind the fact that nageki is talking from such a place of emptiness. he talks about how he fell numb to pain and hiyoko brought back feelings for him but mostly those negative ones. the ONLY positive light in his world is hiyoko. so an intense display of affection is KINDA warranted. and hypothetically it would also be possibly the most logical misunderstanding of one's own emotions in the game. idk sorry everyone hiyoko/nageki sibling dynamic for life. i've stayed in that mindset for so long that on occasion i raise an eyebrow when i see them paired together and then im like Oh. Shit. I'm Being Unreasonable Here. hey but what can you do. nageki love of my life, walking aromantic flag, please tread lightly in the scary waters of fandom spaces.

anghel higure freak of st pigeonation's high baja blast advertisement self-described martyr public-described weirdo someone id totally clock as a trans woman due to the fact that no cis man plays dungeons and dragons liberal user of eyeliner the goth asshole taking all of the GOOD chains from goodwill. an enigma of a person. when sheltered white gay people who ask "okay but are you afab or amab" say we need more weird queers they do NOT mean him. he would say something in his foreign language that roughly translates to "hey if you're a dude bangin dudes then have at em man im not gonna stop ya" and that may lead you to believe he is a straight ally but do NOT look at the yaoi in his sketchbook it reveals something about his mind. he's bisexual he's a little TOO gay he's looking up "homosexual tendencies" and clicking on sketchy medical advice websites he's a lesbian but he isn't a woman he probably isn't a man but non-binary rubs him the wrong way where's that book for parents of closeted children he's a pansexual imp who'll die happy he has no idea what pride is he thinks neopronouns are neat but has no idea how to communicate that in a way other people understand his parents keep hinting that they know he's not straight but he thinks he's keeping it under tight wraps maybe he is straight but he just doesn't FEEL straight he could never catch a date and he's happy about it he gets flattered once and catches feels the hero getting the girl in the end is too cliché but the doomed lone wolf story isn't but hypothetically his story might be cooler with a love interest how about everyone is the love interest this is his otome wait i thought he wasn't a woman and what about that pretty girl the next classroom over who is willing to larp with him is she technically a male love interest actually it's weird if he's going to date everyone how about instead everyone is attracted to him but as the accursed fallen angel he has a duty to never reciprocate he WILL puke if you hold his hand he's probably on the lgbt spectrum but honestly he doesn't care enough to figure it out right now he's got this sick cosplay project he's working on do you wanna see? yeah i don't know what anghel is. he can be aromantic if he wants. but he has to be a weird aromantic. he can be loveless or alloaro or romance favourable or fuck it he's romance repulsed or maybe he wants to kiss but that doesn't mean anything besides the fact that he likes it. it doesn't matter as long as he's weird about it. the minute he stops being weird about it he's fucked.

im sorry everybirdie i didn't realise i had so much to say about the other characters but so little about these last three. and now my transitions between subjects would be too much of a hassle to change so i could organise this into a more well-rounded balance of long rants and short tidbits. i wanted to save hitori for last because when i tried to talk about why he's aromantic i felt like the audience was more concerned with the fact that i was trashing on his popular ships than the fact that He Is Aromantic Guys I'm Being For Real He Told Me Himself. so i wanted to clarify my reasoning more thoroughly as the final character in the lineup, but im actually pretty sure that i WAS clear about why i think he's aromantic at the time, and now i don't have too much i want to say. so here's a list of bullets explaining why he's aromantic:

it makes the most sense with his storyline and character - hitori really is a character defined by his relationships to this around him, but like. in a way that he never has the spotlight. he's providing for his little siblings. he's providing support for his students. he's making it clear that hiyoko needs to learn about herself before she ever gets close with him. hell, he kills a man not out of bloodthirst or malice but as a sacrifice for his brother. he STRIVES to be alone. his baby siblings are his priority in his life and that doesn't change for a second, because like a baby bird (ha) he's made this imprint on the only people he truly associates with love and losing them was like losing what love MEANS to him. which is literally what he says himself. so like. not only does that mean other relationship archetypes are not in his field of vision, but treating his loved ones with that brotherly, somewhat overwhelming care is the only way he really knows HOW. it's how he treats kazuaki (til the end OOPS) and his students and hiyoko. and like i said. in the end of his story (as in. not mirror universe), his outcome is that he is alone without his children to look after. he goes along with hiyoko's confession in the end not because he's actually interested but because. i guess he just doesn't really have anything else to do. i don't even think he believes he can love again. i think hiyoko just goes "it's too sad that you don't want to love again :(" and then kazuaki goes "*sharp nose inhale, midwestern thigh pat* so anyway if you're still interested in that whole dating thing we can probably do that later if you want." i just really think inserting romantic love into his story after nageki is such a disservice to this entire key part of his character, that being that he REFUSES to love again after the loss of his brother. also it just feels kinda weird in a mirror scenario or whatever to make him get romantically involved with anyone SORRY i've heard that boyish charm in how he speaks i can only see confused innocence in his eyes my apologies

can you REALLY imagine him in a relationship or do you just see a generic anime guy and want to ship him with the closest twink

it makes the most sense within the themes of hatoful as a game - HELLO least romantic romance game EVER like please. this game is about appreciating the little things and learning to love life and yourself through grief THERE'S NO TIME WE'VE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE DROP THE SHIPS FUCK THE THEMES THEY'RE GETTING CLOSER HELP HEEEELLLLP OH NO I LOVE MY LIFE AND IM OKAY BEING ALONE EVEN THOUGH I LOST THE PEOPLE I LOVE FUCK IT'S LIKE SOMETHING THAT PENETEATES EVERY ROUTE GAHHHHHH

that thing he said in the character interview about "never really having thought about [his romantic type]"

it is objectively funny

a few years ago at a high school show choir showcase there was a solo about a girl who was insane and falling in love with a hot coffee barista but he actually didn't know what romance is

all of the fan content surrounding him and romance is So bad and out of character (or even half portraying him as not wanting it in the first place) that i literally cannot see him as anything but aromantic. you guys literally ruined it sorry.

women are gross and men are gross and he didn't know people could be other genders until he heard some more in-touch teenager talking about it and honestly he's still pretty confused he's supportive but it's not something he could be into even just for the fact that he's nervous about offending them

it would honestly be embarrassing if he ever got into a relationship like all of that "my siblings are everything to me" and for what. you have a girlfriend now? that's gay

speaking of which him being straight makes like a thousand times more sense than him liking men but also i hate straight people

it makes ME uncomfy so i get to have my favourite boy be aromantic because i hate everyone here

sometimes i feel like applying really specific queer labels to characters is doing them a disservice in itself, because some characters seem Weird enough to delve into niche queer spaces and find those labels, but a lot of characters don't even know what pansexual actually means and you know it. my ideal way of defining a character's orientation is by looking at what would make sense for them to be attracted to and then just saying that's what they're attracted to, rather than saying they're gay or they're straight or bi or whatever. anyway that's just what i've been trying the make clear over the course of this post besides the aromanticism of it all.

i'm writing an entirely new conclusion from the one i wrote back in january. i think that aromanticism has become more of a rebellion than anything else to me. in all facets of my life. sometimes it's just so goddamn hard to EXIST as a PERSON when it's like nobody even believes you as you are. i feel like i've lost a lot of autonomy to be anything except a memory or a story. and im not interested in being erased. but i don't think any place has ever made me feel as seen and validated and VINDICATED as the aromantic community. it's like. Fuck you. yeah im not part of any boxes you'd understand. i feel like i didn't feel such a sense of free will until i found myself here. hell. i can do WHATEVER i want. i never thought about that. literally nobody can stop me. aromanticism cuts so many ties from other people's realities and what they believe to be real. so many people HATE aromanticism or what it stands for even if they don't want to admit it. and that is everything to me.

but in a fandom space, where rules are so much more rigid than they appear, where you come to share your favourite things with other people and only find that everyone is trying to make it known that their opinion is the Most Correct One about your beloved series or franchise or whatever the hell, it's like. kinda really hard to exist. as an aromantic and as a member in general. the other day i saw a community post on youtube by this girl who got popular in a niche community and she was just really conflicted because on one hand she wanted to move on from the space and make things she actually was interested in but on the other hand she didn't want to give up what she loved about this game and she also didn't want to lose her audience. and man the amount of times i've seen that shit is pretty disheartening. it's really not an unfounded fear. i have SEEN people who do cool stuff die out because they got popular for something very specific. it's so draining to motivation for them and it's always a shame to see people you like give up because they just don't matter to very many others. my point by bringing this story up is to just give an example that i saw recently of how suffocating fandom is. people are mean, man. for a lot of people fan spaces are freeing and happy but i feel like sometimes we just forget that they'll never be as good as just having a group of friends in real life to discuss your favourite things with. because the internet is designed to divide and organise and if we're being honest i think a lot of people fall into the trap of feeding the cycle of trying to make fandom this Very Specific Thing when it's really just a bunch of guys. and god. people who participate in fandom. well by default they are already very online and so g-dang it they're kinda just pricks. and sometimes the sheer amount of mental disorder within these spaces it. y'know don't fuckin deny it man it adds to the assholeness sometimes.

so like. being such a small minority within fandom, as an aromantic, is also my rebellion here. fuck you. i'm not falling into the tropes assigned seemingly at random to force a dynamic between characters. i can see without the blurred lens of the Shipping Glasses™. i am pretty sure that being aromantic kinda makes the grasp on characterisation a little stronger because im not looking at things the same way some other people are. sorry to be on my high horse everyone. Enjoying your hobby vs. Joining the subreddit for that hobby. everything is aromantic. i have a beam for it. i'm sorry to all of the other aros who feel excluded from fan spaces because of the sheer invasiveness that comes with shipping culture and amatonormativity and just plain Assholes within fan spaces. just something i've been thinking about for like. fucking. a few years idk. all of the hatoful characters have that aro in them because i couldn't give less of a shit about bad takes (bad takes being They Are Not Aromantic). i've got good takes. this is aromanticism baby. okay i'm gonna go hang myself from a tree now bye bye.

#happy aromantic day of visibility everybirdie #hatoful boyfriend #aromantic #tidbits

[discretocincel]

Watch the world keep changing

More fluff for RadioApple Week 2024! Go read it on AO3!

Since I decided to make the stories in the series connected, for today's prompt Deal/Blood I decided to work on the beginning of their relationship! Have some 3+1 thingy where Lucifer is slowly catchinig feelings and Alastor is in deep denial still:

I

The first time Lucifer saw Alastor bleed was three days before the battle with Heaven.

It was late, Vaggie’s training already officially over, but there were still a couple of cannibals around practicing some moves, familiarizing themselves with the angelic weapons, their weight and length. Lucifer still found it strange, watching so many sinners being friendly with each other, even while sparring. He was used to their everlasting conflict and hostility, to their selfishness and pettiness, not… not this. Part of his punishment supposedly was that he’d never get to see the good of humanity, the benefits of the freedom he granted them, to grow outside of the predetermined lines set in stone for their souls. His daughter had given him the most amazing gift by showing him that sinners were capable of good, in the right context. It made him regret some of the choices he had made in the past, but it also made him hopeful for the future. Which was why he never missed an opportunity to see them train. He wanted to see more of it, of their positive emotions and interactions. And he also wanted to care. He wanted to remember the faces of the ones who would be risking their lives for his daughter’s dream.

So far, Lucifer hadn’t seen Alastor step into the training sessions. He witnessed them, most often from the shadows, and on the few occasions he had something to say, he did it quietly, only addressing Charlie. Lucifer assumed the sinner didn’t want to interact with the volunteers.

Was he wrong?

“You’re being far too predictable, my dear,” he said, sporting a tamer variation of his smile, as if to not give a wrong impression. He didn’t sound like the arrogant, mocking bastard that would criticize Lucifer’s eating habits. It was almost like he wanted to be helpful. Genuinely.

“How can I not be predictable and still react fast? I’m not thinking much before moving because you’re too fast! I’ll die before I’m able to surprise you!”

The only two people still on the training grounds, apart from Lucifer, who was watching from the roof, were Alastor and a younger sinner. Lucifer didn’t know his name, but he had seen him around the cannibal overlord more than once. He was short, always wore a different hat, and he seemed to favor the color green, but apart from that, he was hardly remarkable.

Until then, of course. It was the first time Lucifer saw the Radio Demon personally instruct anyone in a fight, and they had been preparing the cannibals for nearly a month. That made him a little bit special. Only a little.

The spar was fun to watch. Alastor didn’t use one weapon, but two—he brandished a dagger in two tentacles, while he kept his hands clasped behind his back, like an asshole. He had to admit that it looked cool, but only to himself. The sinner didn’t need the ego boost. He jumped around the younger cannibal like a choreographed dance routine, with ease, making it look easy, without breaking a sweat. He was reading his partner like a traffic sign, maybe even better, but then the impossible happened.

The young cannibal tripped. He managed to get his feet under himself, but he stabbed the Radio Demon’s bicep in the process.

Lucifer’s eyes widened, and he prepared to take flight, imagining he would need to stop the Radio Demon from eating the poor bastard. What a miserable time to get lucky, he thought. The guy clearly wasn’t the most experienced fighter, and if the polearm he was using wasn’t one of angelic steel, then his hit probably wouldn’t have even scratched the skin. But it did. It probably wasn’t a very deep cut, but the Radio Demon’s coat was soaked in blood, even if the color did a good job of covering it.

Before he unfolded his wings, however, he decided to wait around a little bit and observe, since the Radio Demon hadn’t yet grown in size and the air hadn’t thickened with any green mist.

Against all odds, the Radio Demon didn’t eat the guy. His smile seemed a little more genuine, and when he went closer to the cannibal, he did it with a spring on his step.

“That was better!” he said cheerfully, patting the sinner’s shoulder with his microphone. “Now let’s try again, to make sure you didn’t just get lucky.”

The younger sinner groaned, knowing just as well as Lucifer and Alastor that he wouldn’t be able to replicate it. But he still got in position, and while he seemed even more nervous than before, his stance was slightly firmer, wider. His hold on the polearm was better, too.

Lucifer manifested a candy bar from the kitchen and got more comfortable on the roof, deciding that he would stay and watch a little longer. The Radio Demon was fun to watch when his witty remarks weren’t directed at himself, after all. And the way he moved, even for a mock battle, was graceful and elegant, like ballroom dancing, almost, with his long limbs, thin waste, and remarkable flexibility.

And if he noticed how he would sometimes delay his responses a fraction of a second to give the sinner a chance to scratch him one or twice, boosting his confidence without risking him getting too cocky, then that would remain a secret until the next time the Radio Demon pissed him off.

Or maybe not. It was too valuable information to give it away pettily at the first opportunity. Lucifer was smarter than that. Besides, Charlie could hear and consider it proof that her hotelier had a heart, which was simply ridiculous.

Lucifer knew better than that. No, he would keep that little detail to himself in the foreseeable future, stored away in a corner best left untouched, just like the fleeting thought of how attractive the sinner looked when slightly roughed up.

II

The second time Lucifer saw Alastor bleeding was a couple of days after the extermination, when by all means, he shouldn’t have been bleeding anymore. But his wound, which he hadn’t been told about, charged with angelic power as it was, wouldn’t close without angelic intervention, no matter how tight his stitches were. Good thing the sinner lived under the same roof as one of the most powerful angels ever created, right? Because the Radio Demon wasn’t an idiot, eventually he would have pushed aside his pride in favor of self-preservation, and he would have approached Lucifer on his own to ask for his help.

Right?

“You should’ve told Charlie, at least,” Lucifer mumbled, while he worked on the necrotic wound in the privacy of the Radio Demon’s room. “She would’ve told me.”

“Precisely,” Alastor replied curtly. “Besides…” He took a deeper breath, hands shaking slightly, but he remained remarkably still considering the pain he must’ve been feeling.

Durable motherfucker, truly. Lucifer was impressed. But that was another secret he was taking to the grave.

“She already has enough on her plate. It wouldn’t do for her to have even more worries and bad memories.”

“I agree, which is why you should’ve sought help so you wouldn’t add your death to her bad memories.”

The sinner didn’t dignify that with an answer, choosing to subtly turn his head away instead. Even with his neck twisted at an awkward angle, he couldn’t add much distance between them, lying on his back as he was, with Lucifer sitting by his side, both hands extended over the sinner’s bare chest. He had already cleaned the wound more than once, but the bottom half, near his hip, kept bleeding while he worked on the section of his shoulder, focusing on the damage done to his heart.

Now he could no longer tell Charlie that Alastor didn’t have a heart. He had seen it. It was a frail little thing, fickle, overworked, and scarred. The kind one could easily feel protective over.

A part of Lucifer, the one that kept going over the faraway corner where he stored the details about the Radio Demon away, wondered if he wasn’t already feeling protective of it, seeing as he had ambushed the sinner after dinner to treat the wound he only knew was there because he could smell it.

“Just don’t die on her, Alastor. She cares for you.”

“I’m not planning on dying any time soon, Your Majesty. However, if you’re interested in a deal…”

“Not in this life or the next one,” Lucifer cut him off quickly, grateful for the reminder of the kind of person the sinner he was healing truly was. Overlords didn’t need protecting. The rest of Hell needed protecting from them.

Alastor sighed dramatically, the little shit, but then his expression morphed into one Lucifer hadn’t yet seen on him; his smile was still there, barely, but it was crooked, and his eyes were half-lidded.

“I may have… procrastinated on fixing this particular issue. Your assistance is… appreciated. Thank you, Your Majesty.”

Right. His assistance was appreciated, because it had been needed, and the sinner knew it. He had simply hesitated to ask for it, for some reason. But he would have done it, eventually. He should have done it, anyway. And the reason he hadn’t was probably his pride, because he was a sinner, an arrogant, overconfident, sadistic bastard—

—and he had a fickle, scarred heart. Lucifer swallowed down the lump in his throat, then shook his head slowly.

“There’s nothing to thank me for,” he muttered.

“Nonsense. You had no obligation to help me, and yet… here you are.”

“Here I am,” Lucifer confirmed absentmindedly, trying to focus on what his hands were doing as he was finally passing on to the sternum, checking for any bruising on the bones. While he did that, one of his hands slid down to once again vanish away the blood that kept pouring out of the cut down on his bony hip.

He was so skinny, so delicate. Whose idea had it been to leave him on his own against Adam, of all things? It was a small miracle he didn’t die. And not only he had survived, but he had actually done some damage, earning them all time by keeping him away from the main battle and maintaining the property damage to a minimum while he could.

He had almost died for his daughter and her dream. He had a heart. One that was beating so damn hard, doing its very best, just like the sinner when he fought Adam.

He was a killer, a cannibal, an asshole. And he had a heart.

III

The third time Lucifer saw Alastor bleed was, in retrospect, not as big of a deal as he made it to be.

Lucifer wasn’t a great cook. He wasn’t incompetent; he kept himself and Lilith fed at the beginning of time just fine, but after imps were created, about ten thousand years ago, there really hadn’t been a need for Lucifer to cook ever again. But he wanted to do something nice for Charlie, and he had heard from Vaggie how Alastor had taught her a few things in the kitchen after he witnessed her setting toasts on fire, and how she had turned the cooking lessons into a bonding experience, the results of their hard work something she could proudly share with everyone she cared about.

Lucifer worked through his jealousy like he heard Charlie coach the hotel residents once, and he decided that there was no reason for him to not be a part of that. Surely, there were still things Charlie didn’t know how to make, right? And if there weren’t, then that was okay, because there sure were a lot that Lucifer didn’t know. She could teach him. She would! She instantly said yes the moment he brought it up to her, except…

Except she decided to include Alastor as well, because she argued that she wasn’t good enough in the kitchen yet, and apparently, the Radio Demon was a fantastic cook.

Lucifer complained mostly out of habit. Bickering with the sinner was fun, really, but the guy didn’t need to know that. His ego was big enough as it was. Not that he didn’t have a reason though; the man was charming, the perfect charismatic radio host who jumped up the ladder of Hell’s hierarchy faster than anyone before him, and he was powerful, for a sinner. Not only through his own strength and subsequently due to the souls he kept acquiring, but he was smart and chose enemies and allies well. Even after vanishing for years, when Hell surely should’ve forgotten him, he didn’t need to do much to get the spotlight back on him and reinstate his position as one of the most feared creatures in the Pride Ring. It was reasonable for a guy like that to have such a big ego.

And then, as Lucifer had the opportunity to have him teach him, he could only add that to his list of assets. His instructions were clear, he was patient and gentle but still encouraged them to be mindful of the time and move not like they didn’t know what they were doing, but like they were simply remembering something they hadn’t done in a long time. Which was actually true for Lucifer. Perhaps that was the problem. Feeling capable, he got a little too comfortable with the knife, and then…

“Alastor!” Charlie shrieked in horror.

“I’m fine, my dear, this is nothing. Don’t touch it with your hands, or you’ll get blood on them. We’re still cooking. Don’t get any blood on the vegetables!”

“You’re hurt!”

“I’m fine, Your Majesty, it’s really no big deal—”

“Stars, I hurt you! You’re bleeding! And it’s my fault!”

“Your Majesty, you can barely call this bleeding—”

“Let me fix it!”

“What? There’s nothing to fix, Your Majes—”

Blinded by panic, Lucifer reached out for Alastor’s injured hand —his hand, he had injured a pianist’s hand— and brought it to his lips, holding it by the wrist, so he could clean the blood and close the wound with his saliva, while keeping his own hands clean.

For a moment, no one in the kitchen moved. All three of them stood there, holding their breaths, with eyes far too wide and shoulders way too tense. Then Lucifer dropped the sinner’s hand and vanished with a ‘poof’ to reappear at the other side of the room, as far as possible.

“So! That’s fixed! Anyway!”

He went quiet, because he had no idea what to say, and apparently neither did the others. Charlie’s face was turning redder by the second, and Alastor had never looked more like a deer than in that moment, completely paralyzed. Still, after another minute or maybe twenty went by, he cleared his throat, fixed his smile which had nearly disappeared in his astonishment, and went back to the cucumber that Lucifer had been all too happily massacring.

“Well, I’ll be finishing this one, then!” he said, rinsing the knife before getting to it. “Charlie, dear, can you check on the gravy? Your Majesty, you may start on the rice.”

“Right. Yeah, I can do that.”

“Wonderful.”

Lucifer resumed the cooking like a man on a mission, laser-focused and repeating every instruction in his mind like a mantra until he was done with that particular step, doing his best to ignore the way his heart kept trying to escape his chest and the taste on his tongue that wouldn’t go away no matter how many times he asked Charlie for a sample of the sauce she was merely monitoring.

He had to admit, in the end, that Alastor was indeed a fantastic cook. He also tasted fantastic himself.

+ I

The very first time Alastor saw Lucifer bleed was not an occasion he could ever share with someone else. Pity, he would’ve liked bragging about making the King of Hell bleed. But it would be impossible for a while, at least. Not only because the ‘wound’ was too insignificant to be called that, but because Alastor’s own madness could hardly be omitted from the narrative for it to make sense.

The little setback didn’t sour his mood as one would’ve expected, though; probably because he was still reeling with endorphins after the first make out session of his life. He’d always found the idea of a foreign tongue inside his mouth disgusting, and he hadn’t enjoyed the sensation at first, but when the tip scraped itself in one of Alastor’s fangs, releasing a delicious nectar that couldn’t even compare to the blood Rosie had bottled from the last extermination, the experience quickly became an unforgettable one, as was Lucifer’s promise that he would one day sit on his lap and let him drink straight from his neck, but there were a couple of wishes Alastor needed to grant the king for that to happen; some of those requests rivaling Angel Dust’s most depraved and rewarded works.

Alastor, while nervous in his inexperience and not yet convinced that he would find most if not any of those scenarios enjoyable, couldn’t wait. If anyone asked, he would say the golden, angelic blood of the fallen monarch was that addictive. And even to himself, he swore it had nothing to do with the way his own heart skipped a beat whenever The Devil smiled at him.

It was the blood. That was all he cared for. Really.

#hazbin hotel #ao3 #fanfic #appleradio #radioapple #writing #lucifer morningstar #alastor #Lucifer is growing and coming to term with his feelings like the ancient being that he is #but you guys aren't getting Alastor's version of events yet #this is merely a peek #radioapple week

[thelemoncoffee]

excuse me i'm just going to just copy/paste some rambling i sent on discord and call it a post. this is loooonnggg and kinda incoherent

stupid self indulgence is stupid but sometimes i think about an au where half way through his second year at HPA, Kokichi decides to drop out because he can't keep up with the image he made for himself. like he spends a whole year and a half being the asshole class clown of the class, but this is on top of having nearly dropped out of his previous school (hc: military adjacent) because they didn't like him there either due to his differing ideals for what a leader looks like. he's human and despite being very good at covering up his pain, there's still only so much he can take, so when he finally reaches that breaking point he drops out of HPA and just goes home

he told no one at HPA, just one day he was there and the next he's gone and never comes back again. he spends his time at home doing more with his families, both DICE and blood, as well as trying to find himself a job that doesn't suck major balls. he's lowkey depressed that he gave up so hard on his dream of becoming the best leader he could possibly be, but the road to it he'd been carving was insanely self destructive because he by nature can't follow the rules.

i can just kinda imagine the conversation he had with his parents about it before dropping out. his explanation is; 1) he isn't being taught new things on how to be a leader because HPA expects him to just figure it out on his own with the tools they give him. 2) he can't get but one person in the whole school to actually follow his lead (Gonta) and he thinks he's far too nice of a person to be dragged around like that. 3) because of his paranoia no one there really likes him so he's constantly fighting with people and digging his hole deeper- which he fully take credit for, he knows it's his fault- and if he were to ever stop no one would believe him at this point and it wouldn't change how they see him. 4) he's doing all of this just for a little paper that says he's the former ult leader, but really what the fuck kind of job would accept a vague ass title like that- and even if they did how many would his leadership actually be fit for?

to him, he's failed his mission to become the greatest leader, and he knows it's he himself who's to blame. DICE also can't last forever because while they may remain friends, they'll all grow up and get their own jobs they gotta focus on, some have already, and what little leadership he has to his name will fizzle away into weekend hangouts. he decides maybe he can go to a collage instead to get a degree in something he's good at, maybe a few different ones- just rummage through his bag of skills till he finds something that works. i really really like thinking about Kokichi's self image and how it affects how he handles being outside of HPA

i imagine he'd still have contact with only two people in total from HPA; Miu and Kaz (Kaz makes sense in my hcs i swear). Shuichi ended up finding out about what had happened to Kokichi from Miu and decided to try and get into contact with him again, which surprised the hell out of Kokichi because he thought Shuichi would be one of the people glad to see him gone- what with all the headaches and bullshit he put him through. little did he know- Shuichi's just as stubborn as he is……. and also he fell hard for him but that's totally beside the point

this is mostly about Kokichi's struggle, Shuichi prying his way back into his life is just a very pleasant bonus that makes Kokichi's life a little less hell. forces him to learn to open up to people again, something he failed to do with anyone at hpa in this au. the last time he opened up to someone that wasn't already in his close circle was when he was 16 and saved what would later become the final member of DICE, many got close but something usually stopped it before he could fully open up, making him want to open up even less

Shuichi's new. he stubborn, and really patient with him, and refuses to leave but doesn't push either. he's just there, waiting for him. he's not trying to forcefully help Kokichi better his life, but he's also not leaving him alone. he makes sure Kokichi knows he's always there for him, even if he doesn't take his help, so Kokichi can't just block him out like he tried before. luring him like a spicy kitten, he's got support, but Kokichi's gotta make an effort himself. the only thing Shuichi really ever makes any effort to push a little is trying to get Kokichi to come back to HPA, saying it's strange without him there and many people actually miss him despite what he thinks they think of him

i think it'd be wholesome if Kokichi decided to come back for the final year after both spending the last half his second year and the whole summer trying to fix his shit, and getting into contact with Kirigiri to confirm that yes he's allowed to come back without having to make up the lost time- if Rantaro can be gone half the year on trips Kokichi can be gone half a year for mental health.

actually imagine from the class's pov: half way through the year the chaos clown vanishes and it's not until like a month later everyone finds out via Miu and Shuichi that he's gone for good, then you spend the remainder of the year without him and it feels really off without his presence and some people kinda realize they didn't hate him as much as they thought, then finally you start your final year at HPA and THE CLOWN'S BACK!! but he's not the same, like some serious shit happened to him while he was gone and he's clearly not the same guy anymore… or he is, but you've never seen this side of him before, and he seems to be nervous to share it with everyone. he's the same, but totally different. he's still pranking people and telling jokes, but there's something broken and nervous there. he still lies but they're played more as jokes instead of the vile front they were before, and there's a noticeable decrease in their quantity. it's still Kokichi, but unlike before you cannot almost mistake him for a sunday cartoon villain in behavior- it's just too real, too lived, too human

but it really depends and i can see him not going back despite Shuichi's pleas too, im just a sap and i like the healthy wholesome stuff where he gets better instead of sulking in a puddle of depression

also not as important but if you want Kokichi can tell Shuichi he'll agree to come back to HPA if Shuichi pulls his shit together- ie; my hc Shuichi also has masking issues where he pretends to be a highly agreeable people pleaser and bottles all his anger and lets himself be a pushover, and Kokichi knows this so he only makes the deal if Shuichi can better himself the way Kokichi has been. mutual luring into healthier lives. it'd also mean Shuichi comes back from summer break a bit different as well and continues to become more different over the year

okay i'm done now

#danganronpa #ndrv3 #danganronpa v3 #kokichi ouma #shuichi saihara #saiouma #heacanons #au #au prompt #au idea #kai prompts #rambling #self indulgent

[mbat]

you ever meet someone and you just know they were a school bully

#they act just like the girls who made my school friends suicidal its so fucking annoying #the type of person who is literally queer but they remind me of the girls who were like YOUR FRIEND IS A LESBIAN EW WHAT IF SHE HAS A CRUSH #ON ME? like shut up youre so self centered and homophobic. my friend wishes you were dead #my post #vent #ignore me #the type of girls who always body shamed my friends and laughed about calling them ugly #ohhhhh i wanna strangle you so bad shut up stop talking leave my lifeeeeee #the people whos only personality is being an asshole

[oceanwithouthermoon]

ive never liked powerless saiki aus because the entire conclusion of the series is him accepting his powers as being a part of him that he cant change so like.. in aus where the power remover works, half of his development is erased..

if he had been "powerless" for longer, we wouldve gotten to see him realize this himself and im genuinely sad that we didnt.. we got to see him realize that being powerless wasnt the change he wished it would be and that its something he cant change, but its literally over a two day long period and we miss out on sooo much potential development..

and then in aus where hes born powerless, people think he would have the exact personality and development that he THOUGHT he would if he got rid of/didnt have his powers, like NO ? "without powers he would be another satou-" NO he would be a shy, borderline flamboyant, weird, awkward, genius LOSER.

he would have a more normal relationship with his brother (still probably competitive but in a way more average sibling way and kusuke wouldnt have had the motivation to become so murderous) and he would probably be even more friendless but with less trauma.. he may or may not have ever befriended akechi at all, and the classroom incident wouldnt have happened.. even some of his current friends might not be around if not for coincidences due to his powers or direct involvement from his powers.. (nendo and kaido would for sure still be there though, but this only ensures the idea that he would be the biggest fcking loser ever)

he would still be saiki, but. his powers are a key part of him. he would be totally different without them, but NOT in the way he thinks he would..

#also realistically he would be just as much of a stubborn asshole tsundere without his powers cmon #like yea his anxiety might present itself more as shyness than it does in canon him #but hes still an awkward stubborn asshole tsundere like thats just who the guy is #hes extra shy and maybe extra cute without his abilities to make people not find him cute #and is also like extremely ditzy and clumsy like he is in canon but its more visible to people because he doesnt have the powers to hide it #idk the point is his little quirks he thinks he wouldnt have would still be there but he wouldnt have the same faux justifications for them #need canon saiki to see an alternate universe him where he was born powerless #and hes like 'wow im going to see my ideal average me!' #and then au him is some super quirky ditzy clumsy kid with severe anxiety and also dysphoria #and he doesnt have powers to avoid being bullied like we see him do multiple times #this guy doesnt realize he will always be a loser no matter what #he loses key parts of himself and doesnt even realize that a lot of the parts left behind are still parts of himself that he hates #i know a lot of people think he would be much less jaded powerless which i get but #a lot of aspects of his personality that have less to do with his powers are a lot of the parts that he doesnt like and gets made fun of fo #so he would probably only be slightly less jaded and his awkwardness would just weigh it out a little more #though its hard to pinpoint exactly which aspects of him are only due to his powers #a lot of them are but i personally think those specific key personality traits would remain #anyway i would love to see what his relationship with his family would be like if he was born powerless #and i want to know who his friends would be #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki kusuo #meows post

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for seeking out my ex to apologise to them?

For context, I had a long term (over 6 years) relationship with someone when I was younger (i was 21 and they were 20 at the time of our breakup, both nonbinary). They asked me out when we were both barely even teenagers, and in a way we grew up together. They were a great partner, and we were both very dedicated to each other. However I went through a lot of mental health struggles while we were together including a lot of suicidal ideation and some attempts, and eventually they asked to break up as they felt our relationship was becoming stressful for them and that I was relying on them too much/being too codependent.

At the time I was a little confused and upset, but I had always clearly made it a condition of our relationship that either of us could leave if we wanted to and had no obligation to stay. So in the end our breakup was pretty amiable, just sad, and we went our separate ways. In hindsight, our relationship was definitely unhealthy for both of us, and my mental health has ironically improved a huge amount since we broke up. So they were 100% right about it not being healthy, and I have nothing but respect for them.

In the years since, I have often felt guilty about how I treated them and wished I could make up for it/take back how I behaved. I never tried to hurt them on purpose but I would vent to them constantly without considering how they felt, and in general I think I took them for granted and would treat them more like a therapist than a partner, when they had their own issues too and I should have never made them feel responsible for mine like that. Neither of us were perfect, but I feel I definitely hold a lot of the blame for how things ended up. I don't think I had the emotional maturity at the time to realise how unhealthy our dynamic had become, whereas they did, and I think both of our lives have become better as a result of us breaking up.

It's been a couple of years since we broke up. They haven't changed any of their social media usernames or blocked me etc, so I could still reach out to them if I wanted to without having to block evade or anything weird like that. Part of me really wants to send them some kind of apology or something, so that they know they're a good person who did the right thing and that I'm sorry for my past behaviour.

However, part of me also recognises that I probably represent a dark period in their life, and that they likely just want to move on and forget about me. For this reason, I worry that apologising would be a selfish move on my part to just assuage my own feelings of guilt, but would only serve to stress/creep them out or hurt them further, which is the last thing I would want to do.

So, would I be the asshole for reaching out to them to apologise? Is it better to leave things alone, or would it be helpful for them/give them closure to hear an apology from me? It would be really helpful to hear people's perspectives on this, especially people who have been on the "other side" of a situation like this.

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

[the-woman-upstairs]

Honestly, all my schadenfreude over the public evisceration of James Somerton by Hbomberguy and Todd in the Shadows is tempered by the anger I feel at how much damage, pain, misinformation, and marginalizing one man was capable of accomplishing through the platform he built through plagiarism, blatant lies, and outright bigotry.

And frankly it sucks that it took the efforts of two other popular YouTube creators to bring him down when Somerton was clearly never good at hiding any of his horrific behavior. There were clearly women and trans/non-binary people who knew something was up with him and his “work” but were either harassed/doxxed by the fans he set on them or knew they didn’t have the same kind of clout/support to be believed over him.

It just boggles my mind how EASY it would have been for him to cite these sources and work with other queer creators on the platform to help create a wealth of accessible, comprehensive knowledge of queer media and history available to a younger generation. Because clearly, there’s a hunger in the younger generations of queer kids/people for that knowledge, the understanding of the past, how it informs the present and creates the future. But all Somerton did was steal from other creators, ones who either didn’t know their work was stolen or were given the run-around by Somerton instead of proper accreditation.

Instead of uplifting other people and their research, he selfishly stole and hoarded it, before regurgitating it and claiming it was all his own while also infecting some excellent analysis with awful, bigoted opinions, particularly geared towards women, trans people, or any type of queer he didn’t believe was the “right kind.” You know, like all the “boring gays” that “survived” the AIDS crisis.

I want to believe that this time we’ll learn to not take people at face value, just because they give the appearance of professionalism and sound authoritative on whatever subject is covered. Because that’s how dangerous misinformation is spread and taken for fact. Todd was absolutely on the money when he pointed out how it is important to document all the lies and plagiarism with Somerton because how many young people believed what he was saying? How many people watched his videos on the adult film industry or “bad gays” or Nazis influence on body image and walked away thinking they were learning something about their history? Far too many, I’m sure.

Though at least having these two videos to refer to can help people learn when to spot someone who’s being disingenuous in “teaching people something.” And that any person who claims to be the “only person” talking about an issue is mostly likely lying and trying to sell you something. Usually, their own brand. It’s far better to diversify the people you follow and the voices you listen to, and the playlist Hbomberguy made available is a great place to start.

But I also recommend seeking out some of the original sources yourself. There’s typically queer history books/memoirs in the nonfiction section of your local library. You can find the original Celluloid Closet documentary on Tubi, along with another interesting one, Do I Sound Gay? Disclosure, the documentary on depictions of trans people in Hollywood, is available on Netflix. And that’s just a couple of the top of my head. If you’re looking for queer films in general, Wolfe Video has so many available for purchase or even just to peruse and rent the titles later.

I do hope some good comes out of all this, even if the damage done by Somerton still lingers in online queer spaces (fingers crossed this means the end of Illuminaughtii and Internet Historian as well). It helps to be wary of people seeking to take advantage of the online spaces we now inhabit, but there’s still people and places across the internet that are doing good work and want to help educate people. They may not always be easy to find and may even require some effort on the part of the audience, but the end result of really learning something, discovering interesting research/work, or being part of open minded discussions is a worthwhile reward. And always something to be proud of.

#ok this is a lot but i had to get all this off my chest #hbomberguy #james somerton #todd in the shadows #i really hope this news doesn’t discourage young people who were taken in by that asshole #he’s not the only queer person doing this work- there’s so many of us out there having discussions and sharing ideas #without being virulently misogynistic and transphobic and racist #i really hope people seek out the creators on that playlist and find someone new to follow who’s putting in the work

[iamumbra195]

I hate when people talk about Ashler like it’s inconceivable to ship them.

They’ll be like “Oh, they had so much beef, they’re barely even friends.” Genuinely asking here, have you even read the webtoon if you think that?

Tyler had issues with practically everyone at the beginning, hell, most of the kids didn’t even like each other. Ben, Aiden, Ashlyn, and Logan all thought he was a jerk and he was acting like one because he was trying to protect himself and Taylor and the whole situation was stressful as hell. That’s why his character development is so good. Even Ashlyn remarks that he’s being less of a jerk in one chapter and Taylor says that he's begun to see the others as real friends, maybe even family.

They all eventually became allies and then friends, including Ashlyn and Tyler. Sure, they like to throw some sarcastic remarks at each other but that’s just their sense of humour and part of the appeal of their friendship. Same with Aiden and Tyler, they insult each other all the time but the insults that were originally meant to hurt are now used affectionately.

He gave Ashlyn a nickname guys. He gave a jokey nickname to cheer her up because she felt terrible about the fact that she had to leave him behind while he got terribly hurt, while he died. She literally started crying out of guilt and being overwhelmed by the whole situation. She cares about him and he cares about her and the whole gang cares about each other, which is why there are so many ships in the fandom to begin with.

So stop acting like anyone who ships Ashler is stupid and stop saying ‘they’re like siblings’ on every post about them. We know it’s probably not gonna be canon, hell, Red herself said romance isn’t the focus of the webtoon at all.

I don’t even like shipping in general but the TikTok fandom keeps pissing me off. Stop acting like everyone has to ship the same things as you and stop commenting shit like ‘cute edit but I wish it was Aidlyn’ or ‘They’re just friends, they act like siblings’. Like yeah, they’re not canon but you’d have to be blind if you couldn’t see why some people ship it. Stop shitting on people’s ships and let them have their fun, we all know they’re not canon.

NONE OF THEM ARE.

Anyway, that’s the end of my rant. Sorry, I keep getting Ashler hate every time I search it up on TikTok. It’s so stupid and annoying, let people ship who they want in peace and stop undermining Ashlyn and Tyler's canon friendship and character development to shit on people’s ships. It’s an insult to the characters and your ability to read between the lines.

Live, Laugh, Love Ashler.

#school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard webtoon #sbg #sbg (webtoon) #tyler hernandez #ashlyn banner #I'm not tagging the others cause they're only mentioned and apparently ppl find it annoying when the characters tagged aren't really #part of the post #ashler #they are very important to me and I'm tired of the hate #it's unnecessary and rude and is giving me zutara hater vibes #we know it's not canon guys #that's the whole point of fandom #to explore other possibilities and HAVE FUN #yes we know they don't have crushes on each other in canon have you considered the possibility that I just like they're relationship #and would like to see it as more than in friendship #ashler has some good tension and is a classic case of sarcastic loner girl who doesn't like people x asshole jock that is actually a nice #person when you get to know him and has a traumatizing past #sure it's pretty common so I get why it's not to some people's tastes but vanilla is still a good ice cream despite being a boring choice #still it's tiring #I love aidlyn as much as the next person and I'm kinda rooting for them in canon but I'd like to see more ashler content rather than hate

[third-doctor]

I feel like I'm going insane. That episode read to me as a lot more tragic than other people are reading it. Yeah they were racist and rich and spoiled and awful but they were just kids. They were all just kids. Lindy was absolutely terrified throughout the whole thing and clinging desperately to what she knew, which was terrible. They could've had the chance to learn and become better but they chose to go die and it's infuriating and tragic because nobody deserves that. Nobody deserves to be eaten by slugs or die of exposure in the woods. Nobody deserves to suffer like that. But they chose it rather than let the Doctor help them because they'd rather stay in their rich white supremacist bubble and he just wants to help and there's nothing he can do.

Maybe it's because one of my core beliefs is that nobody deserves death and suffering. Nobody. Even the worst person on earth can learn from their mistakes and come back and change and everyone deserves that chance. There's no such thing as too late. But they're never going to get that chance because they actively rejected it and to me that's still very, very sad.

#dead men do tell tales #doctor who #doctor who spoilers #dot and bubble #I am losing my mind. I am actually losing my mind #maybe it's because my brain is always telling me that I'm the worst person alive #instead of just saying that no I'm not my response is to say yeah okay and even the worst person alive doesn't deserve to die and can chang #what matters is that I'm taking the next step. and anyone can choose at any point to take the next step #and they actively rejected doing that and it's sad and infuriating #because nobody deserves to die #but they get what they chose #there's also the fact that I was raised by racist trump supporters and had to unlearn a lot of shit #which I was only able to do because I got out of my small town cult bubble and I was actually willing to listen to people #the problem comes when you see assholes and go wow look at those horrible unsympathetic assholes I could never be like them #by treating them as solely monstrous and something completely different from you you ignore your own ability to be monstrous #because you're not like them you're better #even the worst person is still a person and not some cartoon villain #and thinks that their actions are justified #and I'm always looking at people being assholes and going what makes you think this behavior is okay. you clearly think you're in the right #seriously what makes you think this. I want to know your exact thought process so I can stay far the hell away from it #I've been the asshole thinking I was completely in the right and I've seen people be absolutely horrible and justify it to themselves #so I'm always aware that this could be me. I could be being a total fucking dick. so I'm going to study you so I can avoid that #also the next person who says it was because they didn't learn empathy/were unempathetic gets slapped