#the poor fucking thing

[madnessself-indulgence]

#my post #madness combat #madness project nexus #mpn spoilers #arena mode #the magiturge #arena player #started feeling crazy about the arena combat player again #the poor fucking thing #the mercenary #chopper dave #the maker #doc #the disquieted

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

#writeblr #warm up #this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru #but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist #ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school. #like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it. #was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes. #but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create'' #when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work #part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just #like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent. #speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r #ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week #this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice. #''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism #imagine if we said that about literally any other profession. #''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt? #u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky'' #we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY #''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''

[nouverx]

Vox won the hottest Hazbin Hotel character poll on twitter against Lucifer in the final round and I can't stop thinking about it I love my pathetic TV Girl he deserves it

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin vox #hazbin alastor #vox #my art #comic #autodesk sketchbook #digital art #I followed the whole thing earlier today and it was like running a fucking marathon istg #he stayed at 50/50 with Lucifer for so long and only went to 51 in the last 2 hours it was wild #my poor guy fought for his life out there #ALSO IT'S SO FUNNY HOW ALASTOR LOST AGAINST LUCI IN THE SECOND ROUND BUT VOX MANAGED TO BEAT LUCI???? WHAT??? #I'm not complaining ofc I love Vox but if Vox managed to do it why not Alastor aghjsagjjsab #anyways I love my tv girl

[slymanner]

hurt my heart why dontcha.

#adventure time #fionna and cake #fionna and cake spoilers #simon petrikov #BMO #this is seriously fucked up u cant do this to me im so sadSNSSN #IMAGINE BEING BMO #just one day finn and jake say they'll brb and they're going on a important mission... #and BMO after this and them being gone for awhile just see's the world go into peril #death everywhere. no sign of his friends expect remnant's of the past.. #and the only survivor is them... #no other's expect the thing who released hell upon this once lively and colorful world in the first place. #and BMO just accept's this...tells themselves that they're still around...cosplay's as they're old friend's...this is fucked up #in the current timeline all his friend's are gone to natural circumstances. #but for this one? it was too early. too sudden. atleast in this one BMO will remember they're name's but...man. #this poor lil robo cant get a BREAK. #AND THEY FUCKING DIE IN SACRIFICE AT THE END TOO SHUTUPPPDPDPDPD #and the fact BMO also consider's “jerry” a friend...not knowing...that the same person caused all this. #this is...SO FUCKED UP #WHY MUST THE SHOW WRITERS DO THIS TO MY HEART.

[shortkingenjoyer]

i was late to the cursed cat alastor party, hope this will suffice

bonus:

#hazbin hotel #lucifer magne #lucifer hazbin #charlie morningstar #alastor #cursed cat alastor #meme #my art #poor puppy #so i know the common consensus is that alastor got a cat but i raise you #alastor is bad at shape shifting #and every animal he transforms into just looks like this fucking thing

[witchering10123]

hakoda: you need to stay here and protect your sister

13 year old sokka, whose only point of reference for "protecting his sister" is literally his mother sacrificing herself in katara's place: ok 😃

#not shaming on hakoda here #well... #little shaming on hakoda here #but poor poor sokka #katara and sokka #please grant them therapy so they might move on from their codependency #yo kyas sacrifice #aside from fucking sokka up cause you know thats his mum #also fucked sokka up when he believed that everyone decided that katara was far more important than him #and thus him sacrificing his world for her was not only the right thing to do #it was also expected of him #anyhoo #dont we love how depression fucks over this child #hakoda and kya and sokka and katara #my fav disfunctional fam

[taylorsmidnights14]

Behind every angry evil person is an angrier, more evil person

@taylorswift @taylornation

#midnights #taylor swift #taylors version #midnightsnosleepover #red taylor’s version #taylor #taylor swift redesign #midnights redesign #taylornation #tswiftcreatorsnet #the tortured poets department the anthology #the tortured poets department #ts11 #stevie nicks #swifties #taylor nation #taylurking #taylorstans #taylor swift eras #folklore #down bad #fortnight #spotify #apple music #fuck it #poor things #pop album #ttpd

[stevesbipanic]

Steve's only 25 when it all catches up to him.

It starts off small, things people wouldn't even be able to tell is an early sign of something wrong. Misplacing keys, forgetting which day he has his shifts, what time he's supposed to get Robin. Robin notices though.

Robin knows Steve always keeps his keys on the hook next to Eddie's by the front door, that's where he always finds them, he's not misplacing the keys, he's forgetting the hook exists.

Robin knows Steve has the same shifts every week, they never change because they line up with Eddie's at the record store nearby. Robin knows Steve isn't forgetting what time he's supposed to pick Robin up, he's forgetting Robin moved away a few months ago after she graduated college.

Robin keeps noticing when the kids start calling her because the little things are becoming big things.

Robin notices when Dustin calls and tells her Steve thought he and Suzie were back together, "Like how crazy is that we broke up two years ago, I don't think I've even mentioned her lately."

Robin notices when Lucas calls and tells her Steve asked when his next game was, "The season ended months ago, he came to the finals."

Robin notices when Max calls and whispers softly, "He asked to take me to the skatepark, Robin, I told him I had to help mum. He's forgotten I'm blind Robin."

Robin wished she'd noticed sooner, maybe years ago when Steve was getting knocked around a lot. She wished she'd screamed in the face of those Russians to take her instead. She wished a lot of things when Eddie called her.

"He's in hospital, Birdie, he collapsed at work."

Robin is back in Chicago for the first time since she graduated. She wished she'd visited sooner.

"Do you think the feds are gonna let me go soon, Robbie? I mean it usually doesn't take this long for them to bring me the NDAs."

Robin hopes Steve doesn't notice her eyes going glossy as she runs her fingers through his hair, "Don't worry Stevie, I'm sure they'll be in soon, Dusty is probs just arguing over something in his."

"At least he isn't having to explain he raised a demodog. Did I ever tell you about that Robbie?"

Robin smiles softly, "Yeah but tell me again, don't want to forget any of it."

Eddie gives Robin the gist of what the doctors said, Eddie didn't understand much, a lot of technical words and shit. Too many concussions, more than they knew about most likely. They say it'll probably get worse with no timeframe of how quickly it'll happen, there might be good days, there will be a lot of bad days.

The first bad day comes a week later. Steve barely remembers Eddie, trapped in a time when Eddie was just the kids DM. Eddie sobs in the corridor in Robin's arms. The next day it's like nothing happened and Steve gets discharged. They tell Steve, this time Eddie is the one to comfort him.

"I don't want to forget you Eds."

"It's okay if you do, sweetheart, I'll still be here."

It's Robins idea to start writing everything down. Eddie, Nancy and the kids all help. Filling journals upon journals of stories and pictures of Steve's life to help on the bad days. Steve has to quit his job, Robin moves back to Chicago, they make it work.

On bad days depending on how far back Steve is Dustin or Robin or Eddie will read through the books with him, filling in the gaps of what he needs. On the worst days, Eddie leaves the pile of journals on the bed with a note and waits downstairs to see if Steve will join him later.

They make it work for a few years. Steve celebrates his 30th birthday with perfect clarity. He writes himself an entry in the journal next to a big group picture with Steve and Eddie's matching rings showing.

That July, over a decade since Starcourt, Steve is in hospital again. He'd collapsed at breakfast. Eddie had thought it was going to be one of their good days, Steve had woken up fine, all his memories in tact if a little fuzzy. He'd made them coffee and giggled at Eddie's singing while he made them eggs and just like that it all came crashing down.

Steve's brain is shutting down. They don't know if he'll make it past Christmas. There's more bad days after that. More days with books left on the bed. Most days Steve doesn't even come downstairs. On the good days, Eddie always calls off work. He'd rather be fired than miss a single second of Steve smiling at him like he does, so full of love.

They have Christmas, the whole family comes, they have to bring every chair from around the house and squish in around the table just to fit but it's perfect. Steve sits between Robin and Eddie, face bright and full of love and life. Everyone gives him the tightest hug as the night closes, all lingering, afraid of letting go.

"I love you, dingus."

"I love you too, Robbie."

Later, upstairs in their room, Steve and Eddie go through all the journals, laughing softly at each little note the kids have left. Steve writes his little journal entry, a tradition of good days, and curls into Eddie's arm whispering soft loving words to each other before falling asleep.

Steve never wakes up.

The funeral happens shortly after, all of the family is still in town. Robin holds Eddie afterwards as they go through the journals together. When they get to the last page, they struggle not to smudge the ink with their tears.

Dear Eds and Robbie,

I don't know how many more good days I'm going to get so I'm leaving this here for you now. I love you both so much, you're equally my soulmates and I want you two to look after each other while I'm gone.

Robs, go travelling with Nancy, ok? Thank you for looking after me all these years but it's time for you to go look after yourself. Go see the world for me, tell me all about it wherever I am when you get back.

Eddie, I'm sorry we didn't get as much time as we hoped, I hope you know that even just a day with you has been worth a lifetime with anyone else. Go follow your dreams, write music, perform, show the world how amazing I know you are. I give you full permission to fall in love with whoever you meet along the way, I don't want either of you guys to be alone.

Thank you for giving me a life worth remembering.

Your Dingus,

Stevie

#omfg i sobbed writing this im sorry #stranger things #steve harrington #stranger things s4 #eddie munson #st4 #steddie #stobin #robin buckely #angst #poor steve #concussions #memory loss #fuck i actually cried so much omfg #ficlet #major character death #tw major character death #tw death

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

rough day...

#i might come back and color this. Eventually.... #scribbled this after a busy day of lots of moving things into storage and hauling boxes around #i felt a bit like a workhorse! #at some point i sat down on the uhaul w/ my water and thought. Wow. How Does Eddie Manage #poor guy deserves a break... #he needs a day off smh #i mean the neighborhood would fall apart w/o him probably but still. he needs a vacation! #he works too hard! someone tell him to prioritize himself for once! #scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home fanart #eddie dear #alrighty well its 12 am i need to get up in less than 6 hours and i still have Several Things To Do before i can sleep! #so! queuing this and getting those last chores done #wait fuck. what where they #well! i'll remember when i get up to do them! probably! #yknow 7 hours into tomorrow's drive im gonna be like OH FUCK I FORGOT THE [insert task here] #oh. shit did i eat dinner? hm... im not gonna be ready for breakfast when i wake up #so i might as well add 'quick cup of noodles' onto tonight's Before-Sleep list.... #im rambling! sorry! #anyway i have Much affection for eddie! somebody get him a spa day and some shiny new stamps!!!

[makoredeyes]

I got asked to do some warsat emoji for a server but first I had to get THIS out of my system.

Nuts and bolts added courtesy of Val’s suggestion ❤️

#destiny 2 #destiny #destiny the game #felwinter #warmind rasputin #warsat #I can’t help it I’m a sick fuck sorry #poor fel can’t catch a break #Rasputin is bad at catch #blaming Sylenth just a little for this too #she posts the cute stuff and then all my insane friends start thinking of unhinged things and come to me for THAT #we live in a full and healthy fandom ecosystem #full and healthy for us #poor Felwinter suffers on the regular

[zer0point5ive]

lawrence sitting at his desk, swivelling on his chair and talking on the phone. john, i told you there’s no such thing as- john will you just listen to me there’s- sorry, give me a minute i need to take something, my leg- yes it’s still hurting, cutting your foot off will do that especially without proper medical treatment .. well you could’ve at least given me something that wasn’t a rusty hacksaw, jesus christ .. yes i know .. i am grateful .. anyway, as i was saying there’s no- yes i know what that pederson lady said but just- you know what? go. it sounds great. hope you have fun

#one thing about dr lawrence gordon md is that he cant catch a break #staring at his certificates on the wall. am i a fucking joke to you john #i know he wishes hed stayed in that bathroom. poor guy #lawrence i am too gay and too sad to deal with this right now gordon #saw x #lawrence gordon #saw x spoilers #except everyone knows this from the trailer surely. ill still put it anyway #📹

[beforeimdeceased]

abby wearing her strap on asking you to ride the bulge and beg her to fuck you and she’s not gonna do it until you sound as desperate as she wants you to…i need a glass of water

#eventually you get so needy you can’t even say words #just little whispers of pls and her name #and she’s like aww you poor sweet thing #you must need me so so so bad #is that right? just nod your head it’s okay #and then she fucks you so good you drool all over yourself #my god #bunnie can speak? ☆ #abby anderson #bun’s precious abby ✧.* #abby anderson fanfic #abby anderson imagine #abby anderson smut #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #wlw imagine #wlw fanfic #lesbian #lesbian fanfic #wlw fantasy #tlou headcanons #tlou fanfic #beforeimdeceased #﹫ abbysvictim

[jellogram]

reblog to kill it faster

#I was indifferent to coachella before but after living in the valley for a month I'm like holy shit this thing is horrid #that is SUCH a poor area #coachella the town is predominantly poor and predominantly mexican immigrants #so you get all these spoiled rich kids from LA clogging up this very low income area #I'd like to think the income helps the city but there's simply not space in that town for that many people #I can't imagine how horrible it must be to live there during the festival #I would be very interested to hear the local perspective but of course it's never fucking represented

[theteaisaddictive]

sometimes a family is you (woman who had the brain of her unborn baby transplanted into her head after committing suicide by jumping off a bridge), your scientist husband, the nanny who watched you while your baby-brain was still developing, your lesbian lover you met when you were both prostitutes in paris, the woman your scientist husband and dad got to replace you who also had her brain transplanted with a baby’s, and your ex-husband who had his brain replaced with the brain of a goat

#poor things (2023) #poor things #WELL THIS WAS A FUCKING MOVIE Y’ALL

[ovaruling]

i am so sick of this

there is an established relationship between advanced age of the father and risks to the mother, to the pregnancy, to the fetus, and later to the child.

older men’s ticking biological clocks are harmful. their ages literally compound the dangers to women and to the children they have. increased age of fathers is related to things like gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, and preterm birth, just to make a few. later health and mental problems have been observed in children of older fathers.

the number of older fathers is increasing. men feel entitled to father children well into elderliness. men also tend to seek out young women with which to have these children. the maternal mortality rate in the U.S. is currently the highest it has been since the 1960s. abortion rights in the U.S. are in extreme peril. this altogether makes the risk to women who reproduce w/ older men much, much greater.

i think we as a society need to start talking about this a bit.

screenshots of additional NYT article under the cut because i couldn’t figure out how to link without the paywall.

#was i not just talking about this #like come the fuck on. #personally my father was 45 when i was conceived (my mother was in her 20s) and i almost died at birth #my mother’s pregnancy was extremely high risk and caused permanent damage to her health #same thing happened with my younger sister—he was 50 when she was conceived #both my sister and i have suffered very poor health throughout childhood and adulthood #and we both have autoimmune disorders that are the first of their kind in either side of the family #just saying. #tagging for ref #older fathers #save

[dizzybizz]

"looks like i win! take that!"

#bro these chapters have been a wild fucking ride omfg #also is this just gonna be a thing i do?? redraw a page from the new chapter???? #drawing kous staff made me wanna just #idk commit some violence in general #why is it so complicatedddd 😭😭 #toilet bound hanako kun #tbhk #jibaku shounen hanako kun #jshk #tbhk spoilers #jshk spoilers #also chapter 100!! thats crazy #mitsuba sousuke #minamoto kou #mitsukou #fanart #my art #guys do you think i put too much unrelated shit in the tags?? #anyways i found out that one of my cats is super scared of tape earlier- that was hilarious #my poor baby 💀💀💀