#theres a little blue in there as well lmao I just had to make the layer a bit transparent to look better

[autumnalfallingleaves]

Codywan Week Day Two: Wings

@codywanweek

I always forget how much I like drawing wings lmao

reblogs are highly appreciated, and please do not repost my art

#cww2023 #star wars #codywan #star wars the clone wars #the clone wars #clone wars #codywanweek2023 #codywan week 2023 #commander cody #marshal commander cody #cc 2224 #obi wan kenobi #obi-wan kenobi #day two: wings #art #illustration #beans art #yes Cody's wings have his batchmates' battalion colors on them :) #theres a little blue in there as well lmao I just had to make the layer a bit transparent to look better

[wildpeachfarm]

cracks my little paw knuckles OK SO!!! these are copy pasted from someones retro where i expanded on it over ther

so!!! hybrids vs purebreeds. purebreeds are what hybrids call well. humans. and hybrids are obv hybrids, and them in soceity comes with bigotry and slurs and laws and lives becoming political and if youre a hybrid you Must be supporting this president or this political party dogs are called mutts. thats. p self explanitory i feel LMAO idk ones for cats tho? im sure the pred vs prey thing is an innercircle issue, with preds being called bloodthirsty monsters and prey being called brittle boned (???) but down to the nitty gritty of two species: dogs and cats dogs have firmer paw pads, duller claws, most of them have ears, all have tails, and theres obv the knot. cats i already described to sea in a bit (always having ears, sharper claws, squishier paw pads, always having tails, and spiked tongues) and with being a dog or a cat, there comes... problems. the topic of children and heats and ruts get brought up almost constantly if ur still in ur teens. then theres packs and clans, the social pressure to become a leader or a parent, god forbid having a job with how you are. animal instincts interferring with human instincts. the pressure to be more human. hide your ears hide your tail dont let people know youre not Them, youre It. getting fixed only means you'll be looked down upon by the wider population. keeping them means you're seen as a gross pred wanting to fuck anything that moves. collars for preds while prey live happily within interspecies relationships the working class and blue collar jobs are filled with pred hybrids, sometimes humans. theyre worked to the bone to come home and filter money into bills and rent and groceries and have 10 bucks leftover. at least its a bit more than last time, but you cant pay for shit now. pred neighborhoods being regarded as sketchy and unsafe when all theyre trying to do is make a living like some higher up bun leeching off of bus fares and the blue tailed bears down below building a new prey only office building (can you tell i liked the og plot of zootopia More.) then theres dream. dream grew up relatively normal, no tail, no ears. his parents assumed the best: he was purebred! but.. he started acting differently as a toddler. a tail sprouted and he growled and snarled and barked at others. his parents started to fear the worst. was he a hybrid? that... he cant be a hybrid. he's be bullied by purebreeds and would have to be outcasted and live with other hybrids. his parents are purebred- how can they have a hybrid? and it turns out he Is a hybrid. a dogboy to be specific. and he gets lucky, very lucky. he grows up in a purebred town and while everyones reluctant to have a dog running the streets ("what if he gives my daughter rabies!?" "he got his rabies shot"). sure he might look a bit different from other dogs, but hes alright. helps him blend in more george is an oddball. grew up in a family of purebreeds like dream, but less lucky. he had at least one cat relative, he knows that at least. its why his mom always commented on his bigger feet. a lion, he guesses. better a housecat than a fucking lion his tails a bit wonky, his ear tip is folded over. he doesnt act right, not like a human not like a cat. dream doesnt either, but its chalked up to "dogs will be dogs". its why he didnt get diagnosed with adhd for a while. george inspects things, rubs all over them to mark his territory. he thinks weird and acts weird and is a little sideways, a little to the left and never quite centered like his family. he gets yelled at for not acting correctly, "why are you like this?! why cant you just act like the rest of us?!" i dont know, i cant, im not purebred like you he does things very few hybrids are known for: going to college, getting an compsci degree, rejecting blue collar jobs and refusing to be placed under the paw of some lamb in parliment

neuters and spays. treated the same as abortions, really. those getting fixed are screamed at for killing future babies, for not thinking of the children and how the country will prosper with new youngins. but they know how theyll be treated, its a blessing really george thinks of being neutered. he brings it up during dinner and never again once he gets the expected reaction. his tail flicks and he tries his best to not let his ears flatten, but it happens anyway. his dad comments on how no vet will fix a stray like him (thats a lie, a lot of vets will fix a hybrid for the right price) anatomy is never really taught. sex isnt taught to preds bc of how "sexually obsessed they are, freaks". prey are taught consent, preds are taught that its best to stick with preds and never entangle with prey, or god forbid, purebreed dream is taught to ultimately just Care about others (although he has some unlearning to do abt preds), and george is taught to never trust prey or purebreeds. they only cause trouble and theyll fuck you over anyway its why years later, he doesnt talk to sapnap. bc sapnap is a purebreed. he was taught to never trust those things. ever. talking to them would only cause him to end up convicted of a crime he never did and lose his money and be back in england in some stupid fucking apartment

looks at youwith my autistic hyena eyes

oooh this is neat! :0

#ask #omegaverse

[thestarsarebrightertonight]

oh baby its blue flame // tom riddle x fem reader

"will-o the-wisp, babe oh baby its blue flame!"

playlist : blue flame - lesserafim

summary : tom is cold and closed off , theres something off about him and most people know that. so why are you so drawn to him like a moth to the flame?

ravenclaw reader , use of y/n , tom is nicer, AU he isnt voldemort or evil LMAO

"youre staring again. even a blind man could see youre staring." your best friend cassandera stated blankly , sat next to you in potions and watching you stare dreamily at a very focused tom riddle.

"i cant help it! hes just so handsome and interesting dont you think?" you whispered back , trying not to gain the attention of mindlessly waffling slughorn.

"handsome? 100%. interesting? more like terrifying!" she whispered back.

you rolled your eyes at this , "i dont get why everyone is so scared of him , hes beautiful and polite."

"yeah well the devil was once beautiful too," she mumbled in dissaproval as you gasped dramatically.

"you did not just compare him to the devil!" you gaped in suprise and slight amusement.

"he seemed pretty devilish when he took away house points because we were in the corridors one minute after cerfew!!" she whisper shouted , reliving the anger she felt when a uninterested tom riddle took away 10 points each from us.

"that was kinda mean of him," you nodded in quiet contemplation.

"oh dont act like you were upset- you admired him and said 'yes tom' like a lovesick puppy!" she scoffed.

"its not my fault the darkness of the corridor made his complexion a little more angelic than usual!" you shrugged as you both gigged.

"miss y/l/n , question 4?" slughorn asked , snapping you back into the harsh reality that you were currently meant to be doing potions.

"huh? oh uhh...well....pheonix feather?" you asked timidly as the whole class laughed only to be shushed by slughorn who held a disapproving look.

"maybe you would know the question if you werent so focussed on talking to miss cassandera." he shook his head as you sheepishly apoligised ,"mr riddle do you have a question?"

you eyes shot to tom who had his hand up , awaiting slughorns attention.

"amortentia," he stated simply as slughorn nodded , stating he was correct. you watched tom for a second longer , startled when his eyes looked at you , a visible smirk on his lips.

you widened your eyes in suprise and looked away quickly , startled and nervous.

"please tell me you saw that." you said sternly , staring forward at nothing as cassandera who did the same nodded with an equally shocked face.

"he smirked." she stated as you nodded.

"and it was hot."

---

later that day you sat on a stone bench , reading with cassandera beside you doing the same thing, until you were interrupted by a shadow blocking the sun that shone on you just seconds before.

groaning in frustration you look up to see who had blocked your light , completely paralysed in shock to see tom riddle looking down at you.

"i thought ravenclaws were smart. however you dont seem to even have the capacity of focusing in lesson." he said so coldy you felt a chill run down your spine.

"what? i...i just got distracted." you stuttered , flustered by his presence and rudeness.

"by me." he stated simply making a bright blush heat up your cheeks , "youd be suprised how easy it is to hear someone sat two rows behind you in a relitively silent classroom."

your whole body burned in embrassament as cassandera pretended to be interested in the floor , secretly listening to the conversation you had with tom.

"oh merlin i- im so sorry i-" you stuttered , not even wanting to make eye contact.

"your confidence was endearing." he again said so blankly , "itd be a shame if i found you in the corridor after cerfew tonight, no? id have to deduct points no doubt."

you were shocked by his flirting? what in the world is happening.

"yeah itd be a shame, i do have a lot of homework to catch up with at the library , i worry it could run over cerfew," you finally looked back up and regained your lost confidence.

he looked down , a faint smirk on his face , "funny thing i cover the librarys corridor. see you then."

he then walked away again , leaving the courtyard and disappearing into the crowds , leaving you to gape after the ghost of his presence.

"i never thought that man would be capable of flirting. never." cassandera muttered in pure shock , both of your jaws on the floor.

"i need to go to the library." you said throwing the book you held and grabbing your satchel in a hurry before walking away.

"hell yeah you do , run bitch!" cassandera happily cheered for you from the bench.

#harry potter x reader #harry potter #tom riddle #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle x y/n #tom riddle x you #riddle #slytherin #ravenclaw #hp #hp fanfic #hogwarts #x reader #hp fandom #le sserafim #blue flame #voldemort #harry potter imagine #tom #tom marvolo riddle #tom riddle imagine

[bedrockbones]

Tommy goes to the aquarium :>

I wish you would write a fic where... ///not accepting theres not that much world building here except that i imagine the mers here are being rented by the aquarium. not in a fucked up way but kind of like how restaurants and partys will hire "mermaids" irl but in this world, mermaids actually exist lmao big noodly boys with sparkly tails. kids love em and its an easy job. just swim around for a few hours and show off some tricks also tommy is supposed to be in like. elementary school on a field trip

The mer was doing something really cool. Tommy just knows it. He can hear the crowd's oo's and ahh's and the other children giggling and shouting. Tommy wants to see so bad but he knows better than to try and join the group.

He pouts on the other side of the room, barely catching a glimpse of the long, sparkly tail rolling in the water.

There's supposed to be three mer today, but only the blue one has been seen. He's really friendly. Tommy saw him for a little bit and he knows a lot of tricks.

If only Dream hadn't come on the field trip. Tommy doesn't even know why he's here! He spent all week up to today talking about how stupid mer are and making fun of Tommy for being excited. But now he's plastered right against the glass with his stupid friends.

It would be better if Tubbo was here, but his friend had gotten lice and wasn't allowed to join. Tommy had promised to tell him all about the mer, but how can he when Dream would push him away if he tried to join?

Sighing, Tommy watches the fish swim by. There's no one by this side of the wall, everyone wanted to see the mer while they could. At least that means no dumb employees were around to scold Tommy for tapping on the glass.

He taps out random rhythms, not thinking too much about it. The sound of his nail tink-tink-tinking on the glass is nice. Tommy likes it.

He stares at his finger, cheek leaning on the cool glass. With his ear pressed to it, Tommy's tapping sounds so much louder. It's sort of cool-

Tink-tink-tink.

Tommy jerks his head away from the glass. That...wasn't him. It almost sounded like someone else was tapping as well, but when he glances around there's still no one nearby.

Only he hears the tapping again. Tink-tink-tink.

His eyes snap to the sound and-

and-

He can see his own reflection on the glass. He can see his eyes widening so, so big. So big he can see the whites of his eyes all the way around. They're almost as white as the mer's teeth.

He's grinning. Needle-like fangs fill his mouth and Tommy's belly kind of swoops to see them. The mer's rises a little bit more off the cliffs edge, emerging from one of the holes in the rocky wall. His tail is a deep, dark black but as he swims into the light, a shimmering green starts to spread.

He's so pretty.

Pretty and scary. Tommy has never seen a mer so close. Not a real one. He's seen pictures and videos but this one is looking at Tommy. This one is alive and real.

Tommy glances around, expecting to see anyone else notice the mer, but he's still alone.

Tink-tink-tink. The mer is tapping again.

Tommy looks back to him and the mer waves with a webbed hand. It's so human-looking. Except for the scales and green color of course. Tommy hesitantly taps the glass again. The mer copies his pattern and Tommy smiles.

They go back and forth for a bit. Tapping little patterns back and forth. It ends when the mer suddenly blows a bunch of bubbles at the glass. It makes Tommy laugh.

#bones rattles #bones writing #ask #ask game

[corpsoir]

lmao since i wrote this i have completely changed their story, she doesnt die this is old dont worry about it if you stumble upon this

guh okay. please know i'm not at all used to writing fiction in any of my languages lol i'm only used to writing academically in swedish but. well. also, i learned sailing in swedish so if i have gotten my terms wrong here its because i literally dont know what they are in english and had to google a lot lol but i think they should be right. smileeessss

anyways here's a dumb little story about skagen och solvei the day they found out solvei is dying.

its roughly 1.5k words long. the little painting above is related to the story, its also based on a photo i took :) have you ever been out sailing when the sky looks like that? its very spooky but also very cool and beautiful. i love the sea

edit: forgot to mention but!! theres a scene with a panic attack here at the end so be aware of that

A chilling gale whips salty water into Skagen’s eyes. It could very well be tears; he finds it difficult to know today. He blinks and decides it doesn’t matter anyway, and lets his eyes follow a seagull struggling against the harsh gale; a small white speck against the clouds so intensely dark blue they almost appear black. Maybe taking the boat out was a stupid decision after all, they should’ve stayed home and acted more mature, talked to their parents about all this. About their emotions, what the future would look like, what their parents could do to help them. Maybe make plans to talk to a therapist together or something, that’s what you’re supposed to do when life comes to fuck you over right?

But he doesn’t want that. Solvei doesn’t want that. He wants to scream, break things. He wants to set sail in a storm and run away from reality. He doesn’t want to hear his parents or Solvei’s parents tell them that “things will be a little bit different now”.

No, fuck that. They're just kids. The world is unfair, unfair, unfair.

He’s not letting a stupid test result from some equally stupid doctor change their lives like this.

The black storm cloud above him seeps into his mind and he imagines himself as that seagull, being devoured by it. Lost, cold, and scared. The sun is smothered by it, and he can’t get out. Solvei is sitting next to him, and she’s dying. Is her head filled with storm clouds too?

”… – even listening to me? You’re drifting off again!” Solvei pushes him aside and yanks the tiller from him to adjust their course. He hadn’t even noticed the sails starting to wave restlessly in the wind.

“What? Oh it’s fine, I’m still here. I was just thinking, sorry,” he turns and locks eyes with Solvei, who looks like she’s about to lecture him on keeping an eye on the sails, but as she opens her mouth to do so she pauses. A crease forms between her eyebrows.

“I meant the boat, Skagen,” she says.

Skagen wipes the salt from his eyes, clears his throat. Maybe the wind wasn’t to blame; perhaps they were tears after all. But the sun in front of him breaks through the clouds in his mind, letting him land in the relative safety of his boat again.

“Right. The boat. About that, I think we should lower the foresail, I don’t think we need all of it in this wind.” They pass a small skerry occupied by a flock of black cormorants drying their wings to no avail; a wall of rain is quickly approaching, soaking the birds as well as the humans in their boat. Skagen squints against the rain, as the wind picks up speed and whips his bangs into his eyes.

“Ow! Fuck, okay no, let’s just… Is there any fuel left in the motor? Let’s use that instead, I don’t want to capsize this thing, mum spent too much money on it…” he mumbles as he’s rubbing his eyes. After fumbling around in the pockets of his favourite trousers he produces a hair tie to tame the blue-green mess of a hair with.

A ghost of a smile tugs on Solvei’s lips as she’s watching him; Skagen looks up just in time to catch it. The storm clouds of his mind are further pushed away by the sun.

Solvei turns to watch the sails strain, fabric taut in the force of the gale. The wires on the boat are howling in the wind.

“Well, you take the tiller and I’ll get the sails sorted. Keep the course straight this time, no sudden gybe, I’m not in the mood for a swim right now.” She stands up from the cockpit and carefully crawls up to lower the sails. After struggling against the wind – ever growing in intensity – she haphazardly shoves the sails into the small deckhouse of the boat. They will have to fold them properly at another time.

Solvei sits down next to him and starts the motor. “Do you even know where we’re going? Do we have a plan here?” The motor splutters and coughs before running smoothly and pushing them forward.

Skagen blinks the last of the discomfort from his eyes and shrugs. “I just wanted to get away from home, I wasn’t really thinking… We could turn back home if you want to, the weather is pretty shit,” he sighs and instantly feels that cloud form in his mind again.

“It’s fine, we’ll go back when we feel like it. Don’t worry about it, we’re not too far away from the nearest island anyway,” she reassures him.

Skagen only nods. He doesn’t really want to turn home yet, but the last thing he would want to do is keep Solvei out here in the dark, on the sea against her will. And it’s growing really dark now, isn’t it? The howling wind and the waves throwing themselves onto the boat are usually calming, but now it’s just white noise. He can’t feel his face, he blames the wind for making him numb. But he knows it’s not to blame, not really.

Mentally he’s still stuck in Solvei’s kitchen, both her and his parents there with them, the adults trying their best to keep a straight face while they delivered the news. They might as well have punched a hole through his chest. Something inside him tells him he should probably feel a little bit bad about throwing a mug on the wall and breaking it, but for some reason he just can’t feel bad for it. He can’t feel anything.

The motor spits and splutters to a halt and Skagen is ripped back to reality again. Solvei has turned the motor off and grabs Skagen’s free hand.

“Solvei? The motor…” he trails off without really knowing what else to say. There’s salt on his face. The sea is not to blame this time either. Solvei squeezes his hand and stares at the black cormorants shuffling around on the rocks.

“I don’t want to die.” It’s almost a whisper; the roar of the sea, wind and rain is doing it’s best to drown it out, but he hears it.

And that whisper is the droplet that makes the dams break. The clouds inside his head detonate into a raging storm in the blink of an eye. That seagull he was imagining himself as is struck by a thousand lightning bolts, it falls from the sky and gets devoured by the boiling sea below it.

One second, he thinks he’s probably overreacting, it was just a couple of words, don’t be a baby.

The next second he imagines his life without his best friend by his side, and it utterly breaks him. It feels like being split in two and the other half being tossed to the fish never to be seen again.

His body goes completely numb and the roar of the sea grows louder and louder until all he can hear is the blood pumping in his ears.

Is it the rocking of the boat or is he really floating away, drowning? Is it all in his head or did the boat finally capsize?

Something deep in his cloudy, stormy mind decides that he does not care about the answer. He thinks he hears the growl of a motor, or maybe it’s just the wind. He tastes salty water, hears himself sob as if listening to himself through a wall. Skagen doesn’t know for how long he’s drowning in the storm, but at some point, the rocking stops.

And at some point, his body comes back to him. Slowly at first, and then reality floods his senses all at once. The smell of fresh laundry and hot chocolate. Hair tickling his nose and someone’s breath in his face. Hesitantly, he opens his eyes to find himself home, tucked into his bed with Solvei clinging to him. He’s wearing a hoodie and pajama trousers, completely different from the cargo shorts, crop top and life vest he set out with earlier. Really stupid outfit to wear in a storm, what was he thinking? He’s still so cold.

With a sigh he closes his eyes again. When people say they’re exhausted, he usually imagines it as a bit extra sleepy. But now he gets it, this is a kind of tired he’s never felt before. It feels like his body and mind have been put through a meat grinder and been assembled again using nothing but a cotton thread. Do people really expect you to function and go about as normal when you feel like this?

Solvei is fast asleep in front of him. Alive and breathing. Skagen can’t stop the words “not for long though” forming in his mind.

When he drifts off again, he dreams of a black sky with no sun. A seagull floats upside down on the surface of the sea.

There’s salt on his face.

#uuuhhhhh im not tagging this anything smart though #this is my little space where i yell and freak out and feel weird and insecure #banging my head in the wall ANYWAYS i love my little scrunglies skagen and solvei #i named this file kuling btw. it means gale #ANYWAAAYYYYY cant believe i wrote something HSAJKFA #skagen gipp #solvei stiltje #corps ocs #corps art

[imeverywoman420]

Wait can i tell you somethin..dont get mad at me for this long ask ok so i am a girl i am like you i cant do that play hard to get shit like I AM HORNY AND IMPATIENT. love is not a transaction turn based combat shit like i wanna kiss and fuck already.. anyway what i do is just blatantly tell guys that i am into them and that i want them, it literally works every time for me.. like i am the pursuer it always ends well.. i have never been "pursued" or "chased" by a guy like ew. obviously u gotta do a little social cue reading to make sure he's like. physicallt attracted to you lmao. but when i was younger there was this hot colombian boy at m,y school who i had just met abd i literally just told him out of the blue "i like you, i want you" and he was like " okay im down" and the same with my boyfriend now who is my love, i just told him i wanted him out of the blue. he was like damn ok i can get down with that ;) and weve been together ever since 4 years . THIS ALWAYS WORKED FOR ME THOSE ARE JUIST 2 EXAMPLES BUT this is just my personal experience BUT DONT LISTEN TO THE BITCHES TELLING YOU TO PLAY HARD TO GET PLEASE DONT DO THAT UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR PUSSY CAVE TO BE CLOSED FOR VISITORS FOR A LONG TIME! ALRIGHT THATS SUCH BAD PISCEAN ASEXUAL ADVICE! AND ITS SUCH A CRUEL WAY TO VIEW SEX AND INTIMACY LIKE IT IS NOT A FUCKING SHAKESPEARE PLAY IT SHOULD BE SOMETHING YOU PASSIONATELY WANT THERES NO SHAME IN WANTING HIM AND HIS DICK ALRIFHT...... SEX AND LOVE GO HAND AND HAND ITS HOT

I LOVE YOU GIRL THANK YOU

I wil be implementing this strategy on my next target… like hey. U find as he’ll. I wont you.

#Ask

[chdarling]

I find it really cool that you like relate songs to the story you write, it makes it feel more complete. Are there any other moments you relate to specific songs? Im curious :))

(Sorry if theres any mistakes, english is not my first language 💕)

Oh, there are tons hahaha. I mean, every song from the playlist is there for a reason. Some of the songs that apply to more specific scenes include:

She Used to Love Me A Lot and Never Had No One Ever are both Snape wandering Cokeworth in the first chapter. (They both fit so well, I couldn’t decide lol)

Cherry Bomb is Lily going dancing with the Cokeworth girls

Father and Son is Fleamont giving James the cloak

Water Under the Bridge is Remus grappling with forgiving Sirius

With a Little Help from my Friends / Love Hurts / It’s Alright is Chapter 16: The Last Word, in which James gets absolutely smashed at the Quidditch party, talks to his friends about Lily, and then Remus and Sirius have that moment of reconciliation between them about “you’re not a bad person”

Bad Reputation is Lily and her muggle dress hahah

Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood is the jily detention (but also applies to Sirius and just about every character, actually. If I had to choose a theme song for TLE2 it would probably be this)

Blue Suede Shoes/The Princess Diaries Waltz/Astronomy are all the heist/Christmas party chapters. The waltz instrumental is Sirius dancing with Lily leading into James dancing with Lily 😌

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas should be imagined as playing over a montage of the horror and carnage at St. Mungo’s following the attack in London

Dead Mom is Lily being upset about her dad remarrying lol

Vincent is entirely vibes, but I’ve always associated that song with jily at the playground in chapter 37: The End of the World

Golden Years is, obviously, when Graham and Lily discover the record player and play Golden Years 😂

Fire is Benjy Fenwick singing Fire in the bookshop lmao

Stayin Alive & Dancing Queen are the MBSC meeting that Sirius and James attend

I’d Love to Change the World is James struggling with wanting to fix things and not know how post MBSC

Whoops I got carried away again 🙈

#ch answers #tle2 #tle2 spoilers #tle soundtrack

[antiv3nom]

You know, I'm only ever gonna ask about Bachira...

Tell me why he's the best

LMAO YOURE VALID THERE! IM HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT HIM <3 okay so disclaimer but i sort of answered a slightly different question? instead of why hes the best i felt i could better talk about why i personally love bachira so much and think hes fantastic, so please enjoy this fuckin essay of a post

okay, we have to start with the basics here. the very first thing that drew me to bachira was for SURE his character design. i mean. once again i will mention that i'm growing my hair out to look like his. and hes soooo androgynous!!! and as a nonbinary person who leans towards masc/androgynous styles im HERE FOR IT!!!! plus the yellow was already cool, even before i knew the bee fact about his name :D

and ofc there's also his personality!!! as my friend grin has. accurately read off me. my favorite characters are typically those that are surprisingly competent, and those that embody the :3 face (and thus also the >:3 face), and like. bachira is introduced as a sleepy little guy and then kicks someone in the face so he IMMEDIATELY checks both of those boxes and he really fits my character type

also, elaborating on the surprisingly competent piece—bachira is DECIDEDLY competent, but its not in a like...power sort of way? its all about his technique and his ✨ style ✨ and i really enjoy characters who are great at what they do in a more unconventional way or not having to do with their physicality (coming from a weak little bitch) and i dont know. really anything about soccer irl. but its easy enough to see that bachiras good at this shit!!!!

okay so now we get into the meaty shit, starting with his backstory <3 immediately his being an outcast...really fit, honestly, it tracks a lot for him. but it hit me HARD as someone who was/is kinda an outcast and never really had a solid group of friends until relatively recently? and just...his loneliness resonates with me, a lot. but ANYWAYS im not here to vent or anything, the other thing abt his backstory is the monster metaphor and its beginnings, because it is SO easily read as an allegory for neurodivergence (and without too much stretching, queerness as well). being set apart and left out and seen as weird because of honest, genuine passion and this undeniable part of you and just feeling like something is WRONG with you even if you love it is...such an experience that ive had. and its so so easier to see that in bachira!!!! moral of the story, bachira is bisexual and nonbinary and autistic because i am and i say so <3

anyways anyways straying away from headcanons, bachira's development arc? WRECKS ME. it's so very well done, that evolution of the prior loneliness and the desire to both be independent and to not be left behind are...gorgeous. amazing. i can and will write an essay about it. it really builds well on his backstory and what he's done in blue lock prior to that game and seeing him evolve past his monster and his need for someone to play with but not fully abandon either? it means a lot that he still values companionship even if he feels like he doesnt need it <3

moving onwards, i really adore bachiras interactions with other characters!!! the most obvious example is him and isagi, and we all know at this point how big of a bachisagi fan i am (i just think theyre neat <3 <3 <3) but a genuine FRIENDLY rivalry, emphasis on the friends, doesnt seem to pop up that often in blue lock, and its really nice to see with isagi :D and just!!!! they make each other want to be better!!! its good stuff

theres also bachira and rin, which...that shit is COMPLICATED but it's really really interesting how rin like, almost sees bachira as a rival (and thus an equal) but is the first one to really recognize the idea that bachira is still deeply lonely and dependent on having someone with him? rin is the one who kickstarts bachiras development with the line, "[your soccer] is a soccer that is looking for someone," which i will NEVER forget. i like that bachira still tries to interact with rin and crack his shell despite rins cold behavior towards him, it makes for some fun fun interactions <3

AND I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT LAVINHO. LAVINHO IS AWFUL AT BEING A RESPONSIBLE ADULT AND THAT MEANS THAT HE IS THE PERFECT MENTOR FOR BACHIRA!!!! because bachira still cares about having FUN!!!! AND WHAT HE NEEDS IS THAT SENSE OF EXCITEMENT AND CREATIVITY THAT LAVINHI BRINGS HIM!!!!!!!!! LORD THEYRE SO PERFECT TOGETHER (IN THE MENTOR/MENTEE SENSE OFC) AND I LOVE THEM

okay finally, and ik we've talked about this before, but bachira's motivations are the perfect blend of being individual enough to survive in the environment of blue lock, while still not being completely disconnected from the idea of teamwork and companionship, you know? it means a lot to me that a lot of these characters arent wholely self-centered because. well. many reasons. i could make a whole other post about egoism in bllk and why it Worries Me A Little but i wont get into it here lmao, the important part is that bachira has enough of a goal on his own that he can keep himself going without anyone else, but he WANTS to play with isagi and make friends and have that companionship that he didnt have when he was young and that just.....it resonates and means a lot <3 <3 <3

anyways, this was the definitive why i love bachira post <3 hope you enjoyed!!!!

#ask #lizzieonka #friend liz #<- mutual tag :] #blue lock #bllk #bachira meguru #blue lock bachira #meguru bachira #the bachira post #literally thats just so i can find this shit again LMAO #actuall im gonna put this in #my writing #antiv3nom's writing

[beaxmice]

love the girl with the pink/blue hair and funky shades. i'm afraid guitar girl's guitar strap is over the wrong shoulder there..... but maybe she just prefers the weight of it on her right shoulder?? TELL ME ALL THEIR FACTS O GREAT ONE

WAIT IS THE STRAP WRONG I DIDNT REALIZE KSJDKSDS maybe i should've used more references..... just maybe 😭😭😭 and im glad u liked mari !!

im just gonna list like. 1 or 2 facts from each because there's still a lot abt them that i need to work on I've realized lmao

ellie - they learned how to play piano n other instruments because of their dad!! he's the one who taught her :) also she's really clumsy while cooking the kitchen is her archenemy (hence why they just only cooks more complicated stuff with eric around)

mari - the scar on her left eye also damaged her vision a bit, so she has poor eyesight on that eye. she got it from an accident when she was younger (that's the idea at least..... i need to think abt it a little more) plus shes the youngest of 3 siblings!

alex - on his old design, he used to wear a yellow cardigan, and altho hes obv not using it anymore, ive decided to make his favorite color yellow in honor of it :) plus theres a guy he likes later who literally breathes the color yellow so take that as you will

eric - he used to have a big ol interest in dinosaurs as a kid, and even had a plushie! he gave it away when he got older tho (thinking of ellie giving one to him, since he's the one who gave them the froggy plushie)

#these r all rlly messy sorry lmao #thank u for the ask tho!!!! :D #need to talk abt these sillies more #save asks #oc #also i fucking hate that you cant remove the poll thing once youve selected it #i literally did that on accident 💀💀

[alltheangstmygifttoyou]

I can barely use tumblr without it crashing and this ain't what I usually put on my blog but I dont care bc I'm excited and want to throw ideas into the void!!! So under the cut will be SPOILERS for Helluva Boss all episodes released to this day (9/9/23 having season 2 episode 6 posted and the date of me typing this post). Cool? Cool.

Edit: (its now 12/10/23 and I see I never posted this lmao its just in my drafts. Which I have like fifty of 😅)

Okay okay so like: I'm a nerd who's an obsessive little bitch at times and when Fizz was explaining his side of events I was like... I'm not calling you a liar, 'cause Blitzø was definitely jealous, at least a bit, but I dont think jealousy over fame caused the biggest strain. So I went back through the episode slowly and took some screen shots of the flashback parts to show a bit what I mean.

[Image description: Cash Buckzo smiling as young adult Fizz reads card with words on the front saying "Wish you were My So" with Fizz's hand blocking the last letter. In the background of the image young adult Blitzø is watching behind curtains unhappily]

Pretty sure we can all tell that card really saying "wish you were my son" seeing how we know Cash is a shit father from season 2 episode 1. The deep blue (personally reminds me of space) and star decorations of the card are also an interesting choice, as well as the handwriting. It all points to Cash either having other people doing work for him, or being capable of doing these things himself, but not caring enough to similarly educate his kid in turn. So its no fucking wonder why Blitzø was upset! Theres a difference in wanting the spot light and wanting your parent to act like they love you instead of your bestest friend! (As someone who was the bestest friend at one point shit ain't comfortable!)

So Blitzø sees this shit and feels understandably hurt. I would too. He has a letter for Fizz, but logical or not, the hurt caused by Cash would sour emotions around Fizz for Blitzø for a little bit likely. So he removed himself from the situation before really ever entering, and with the shove he gave the cake holder and the talk of booze stealing from Cash later in the episode, I have to imagine that was his way of trying to not ruin Fizz's party. Blitzø throughout the series has been a bit quick to violence, volatile emotions would just worsen things. In some sense, if the fire hadn't gotten out of hand so quickly- or they waited until the cake was settled to light the candles, I'd argue Blitzø was making a more emotional mature decision than I normally think of him.

But then theres the card and flower itself. Its sealed with a heart sticker and says "Fizz's eyes only". The flower looks familiar. Five red petals all coming together to a yellow eye like center. Reminds me of the flowers in Stolas' hospital room in season 2 episode 4 Western Energy. People theorized that those petals dropping had something to do with the whole he loves me he loves me not game. The nature of these twos relationship is interesting.

I included these four screen shots because I think they emphasize the hurt Blitzø felt, his confusion, but mainly to point out Cash. When all the charecters are silhouettes we see one that is clearly Blitzø standing under Fizz's birthday banner. But behind him, one of the last sprinting out of the tent is a partly hidden silhouette. But the horn, head, hand/claws, and mustache make it clear that this is Cash once again. But when we see from a more street view Blitzø is alone when the explosion of fireworks happened. Doesn't this imply that Cash just not only left the kid who he wished was his son but also his blood son behind despite all he needed to do was grab them and push them to run?

#helluva screenshots #helluva spoilers #tw helluva boss #ren theorizing #is it theorizing or meta commentary or me just rambling? #fandom thing #i want to post more like this without making a whole new blog but dont wanna be annoying #is there a good way to tag these kinds of posts? #outdated by a couple months

[ariesbilly]

Twilight AU with Vampire Steve and Human Billy-

That scene where Edward covers his mouth and nose when Bella enters the classroom, but Billy demands to know if he stinks, and Steve replies stiffly "Your cologne".

(Not sure who would be James)-

Billy gets bit by another vampire, and Steve takes forever to decide whether he wants to "save Billy's soul" but by the time he finally comes to a conclusion, Billy just sits up, blue eyes now red and hungry.

"You took too long, Pretty Boy."

"...Fuck."

"Well now you don't have any excuses."

(I need to rewatch the movies and read the books bc its been a minute lol)

tommy would make a good james lmao

SCREAMS ok but ... as far as i remember the twilight lore didnt really have anything in the way of like, makers and their progeny. like yeah you had the cullens and other groups sticking together but they never really made it a Thing™ like say the vampire diaries or true blood where there would be an intense bond between a maker and those they turned so like

just to add a little fucked up layer into it lmao

but steve and billy are a thing right and steves super protective over billys soul and wont turn him etc etc

and then tommy comes along and gets a whiff of billy and is instantly like “gotta have him” but of course billy wants nothing to do with him cuz hes got steve right

cut to tommy luring billy into a trap much like how twilight played out. and tommy bites him but while steve is focused on trying to kill tommy, billys already turning. 

and maybe something happens where steve doesnt kill tommy because he gets distracted running over to billy to make sure hes ok or whatever like point is tommy slips away and makes it out alive 

and billys a newbie vampire now BUTTT the kicker is he feels this weird pull towards tommy now. like this weird sense of allegiance or something but the point is theyre bonded, no matter how much billy hates it

and of course tommys smug as hell about it

and naturally steve still wants to kill him and billy does too but the problem is billys a newbie vampire with really intense emotions so while the rational part of his brain is totes ok with tommy being offed, the more emotional part of his brain is screaming that they cant do that and at this point thats the part thats winning out which of course tommy keeps using to his advantage

and if theres that whole thing of any command tommy gives, billy HAS to obey it like he physically does not have a choice. and tommy uses it to keep him and steve apart. 

the drama

and if its like decades of this since theyre all vampires lmao until eventually billys strong enough to break his binds to tommy and can kill him (with steves help. romance) and they live happily ever after the end

#harringrove #apologies to tommy but theres no room for you here sorry #but also if in the beginning of billys vampirism maybe he chooses tommy over steve bc tommy was the one to change him and billys got #feelings about tommy at least wanting to spend eternity with him and steve (in his mind) didnt #more drama

[coyotevallie]

hi i do not know what the theia n adam thingy is about but. please do elaborate because now i am curious

OOOOO OKAY so quick theia summary [SEASON 2 JUNOVERSE SPOILERS IN THIS WHOLE POST LOL i try not to spoil any more than is necessary but i do spoil a Lot just bc u kinda have to . no spoilers for anything after that tho i havent even listened to s4] is that the theia in the penumbra podcast is basically this cybernetic eye that the protagonist is given by this like sort of father figure thats attempting to manipulate him through positive attention and shit theres a bunch of other lore going on there but thats all u really need to know for this post . it starts as helpful and gets said protag back on his feet but begins to take more and more control of his life and it looks like his weirdo bf at one point . this isnt a great summary whoopsie but it serves

n e ways so my thought is that sydney having that and it being adam and taking advantage of his emotions of loneliness would be kind of cool .... and instead of being a robotic woman voice its jsut this weirdo fucking guy who he sort of hallucinates in his vision because of how the eye works . i think lucille gave it to him partially bc of similar themes to the original show but also because lucille would totally just have like freaky future age technology lying around for no reason to manipiulate people plus it furthers the themes of sydney relying on her medically . also the adamtheia is red instead of blue bc thats cool

anyway so adam sort of acts as a therapist still but maybe a physical therapist also?? bc he controls sydneys faculties kinda . which sydney at first finds great becasue hes not lonely anymore but he starts slowly realizing hes losing his autonomy but by this point its too late . i think adam does take the form of jedidiah sometimes also to make a point or to trick sydney which happens in the show as well but defintely NOT in the way the show did bc jedidiah would be too embarrassed to ever wear that fucking slutty little nightgown and sydney would know something was up instantaneously lmao

ermies but diverging from the canon stuff MORE i think itd be cool if adam was more sentient and maybe kinda diverged from what lucille wanted?? like lucille had her own weird manipulative gains but adam is weird and freaky and alive and tries to make things happen to fuck lucille over and get his own weird goals achieved

also i think itd be cool if like . idk how sydney lost his eye but Somehow he did idk ill work this out later and the weird uppy adam eye was originally jedidiahs work?? maybe thats how its so freaky and magical and advanced engineering-wise . bc i do think hed make a cybernetic eye that is maybe a little overly helpful to the degree of having some queries about whether its healthy for it to help u w so much or if its bordering on losing full autonomy but it wouldnt be MALICIOUS or intentionally controlling or violating jedidiah is just weird about being helpful . but then some Force like probably a mix of both lucille and just adams ai take it and warp it and make it way more Maliciously controlling and intentionally intrusive (mostly bc i thinkt he parallels between jedidiahs Unhealthy But Well Intentioned controlling traits and other characters including lucille's Malicious controlling traits are quite interesting)

i imagine this being kinda vaguely season one.... like a season one divergent thing . i think itd be kinda cool if there was a parallel of the gun scene from promised land (for context the theia manipulates the protag into shooting someone) but with elijah .... mostly bc i thnk Wihle jedidiahs actively ignoring sydney would make sydney very easily manipulated via his loneliness and need for guidance which adam-theia-thing would provide 2 him

#rambling ........ #camp here and there

[grgie]

I posted 1,266 times in 2022

That's 166 more posts than 2021!

59 posts created (5%)

1,207 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dingdongyouarewrong

@deathbyfiction

@colemckenzies

@spyderverse

@leaf-is-tired

I tagged 356 of my posts in 2022

#helena talks to the void - 29 posts

#goncharov - 16 posts

#helena speaks to people - 15 posts

#unreality - 12 posts

#knife gang - 12 posts

#taz duck - 5 posts

#work things - 4 posts

#my posts - 4 posts

#hmm - 3 posts

#tagged - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#he is also slightly blue bc i once got bright blue bedsheets without washing them first and they stained everything (including my skin) blue

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

i never give customers my name at work whenever they ask for it, not because i dont want them to use it to report me to my managers (although thats a bonus) but because of the fae. "can i have your name?" no :) nice try tho you tricky bastards

13 notes - Posted September 16, 2022

#4

uglystudies → grgie

url change!! i now track #grgie (although i'll still keep an eye on the uglystudies tag too, i just wont be reblogging study content to this blog anymore)

19 notes - Posted August 6, 2022

#3

my friend knows nothing about the dsmp or dream and george and is trying to put the pieces together through twitter

23 notes - Posted October 4, 2022

#2

a lil timelapse of me finishing and submitting my dissertation (32 minutes before the deadline) but i realised that this is likely the last study post i'll ever make (not that i was ever regularly posting lol) so its a little bittersweet! ive had this studyblr since 2015 (seven years holy shit thats a long time) and i do think its been an incredibly important part of my life, for better or worse. i started this blog in an attempt to hold myself more accountable whilst studying for my gcses and i think for most part it was helpful (ignoring 2016/17 studyblr... muji and overexposing our pictures really had a grip on us huh) despite the weirdly large number of asks i got from people telling me that i shouldnt do 5 a-levels (i did 5 and i aced all of them. suck it. AND i did an epq as well! extra suck it!)

apparently theres 15k of you, which i simply do not think is true (i imagine the vast majority of my followers are made up of long abandoned studyblrs) but for those of you who continue to stick around and like my silly little posts, even if we don't interact, ur huge and i appreciate u. ive made some many wonderful (and hopefully lifelong) friends as a result of studyblr and genuinely wouldnt change it for the world :')

i've mentioned this in the tags of a post recently but im going to change my url soon to a non study related one because im not studying anymore lol, but dw im not deleting this blog or anything, this blog has always been very loosely defined as a studyblr so you can expect plenty more dracula daily memes in the near future

also yikes that is not the most flattering angle lmao

44 notes - Posted May 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

[getting validation from mutuals about my spotify wrapped songs]: ah yes, i am winning in being a good mutual with good music taste, something both normal and possible to achieve

172 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[thegraveyardjohnsongrey]

April 2021

April: Convos of the Day

+ Started Cera Ve Overnight Cream + Getting Water intake back togetha + G Little’s IG Reveal! + First Time Working out at Cortland 2 Floor Gym!

+ started doing fruit/oat bowls again + #Wicked4Whitney “My Future is Unlimited” + Caden’s 1st Birthday & Baptism in Kissimmee !!!!!!!! + Set Gym Schedule for Cortland! + Back to Jurassic World on Netflix? 

Said no and created boundaries (tina - health law paper)

Stay away from ranch? (Black pepper?) ORRRR sarku Japan (?) had bad reaction day of 4/22 from day before

4.1.21

Body: Noticing a sexier slimmer back (that goes down to my waist) - which is surprising, considering my workout plan has been non existent the past month. Also loving my smooth skin (knock on wood), my former chest, and my tan from the pool day  

+ As always, I love waking around during errands and making myself laugh

Dropping off errands to tita emma and tita Cris. It always gives me a weird feeling bc it reminds me that time is passing and we’re all getting older. 

It’s not that I’m ungrateful or anything. It just makes me reminded that I just want my own life. I want my own space, I want my own routine. I want to be beholding something that’s mine. And I’m just not doing it quite yet. I want a job and a commute and routine thats lie and makes me excited Bc it’s mine. And I want to be fulfilled in having my own life and a new group of friends to have and rely on and like.. idk. I just think it’s passed my time here in Tampa and I think I’m just ready to experience something new. Whew, 2018 me, whats good 

4.2.21

+ Tommy making the lineage diagrams was pretty cool 

+ So Emotional by Whitney Houston is such a slept on bop

+ My chest be looking good in this light blue workout shirt 

+ Getting into your clean car when you forgot it was cleaned is such a satisfying feeling 

I can’t wait to work again one day. To have a stable source of income again. I meant granted I know it will come with us own fair share of bullsht. And that eventually I’ll get sick of acting like I have it all together and that stress is a normal thing to suffer from in a legal office. But... idk. Theres Something about me being excited to prove that I’m indispensable and that I’m valuable to a legal team. I can’t wait for it. (And that first paycheck, gurl)z

I think what I did msyelf really insecure about these days is not having the means to throw down money whener I want to. Or to buy whatever I reasonable thing I’d like to at a given moment. I mean sure, I can buy my little sum sum or my Glittle his tiki. But there’s just the weird not-right feeling that — yes, it’s my money that I’ve saved - but it came from my parents. So I really just feel like I’m spending my parents money. Which, actually yes I am. But. Gah. I guess I just miss not feeling guilty about spending - bc I know that I earned it and that I ***suffered*** for it lmao 

+ Feeling amazing after I journaled and revised my March 2021 journal entry 

+ Playing with Caden and everyone in the home; watchijg caden walk circles and explore while we laugh at his antics 

+ Reallzing now what makes people old - and that is - when they gotta focus all their attention on their career and bodily health (Aka less on fun and being reckless 😭) I understand now 😭😭😭

4.3.21

“Let it live. But let it live in the past.”

Energy spent trying to remove it from memory and to convince yourself it wasn’t real. Well, it was real for you. And it made you happy. And there’s no denying the butterflies you still get when you revisit it. But there’s also a part of you that is now ready to move on with the idea - that you can have these things. You can enjoy these things and appreciate them. But only from where they exist. And that’s in the past”

Omg my new leather bag from Dan!!! Totally sick 

4.4.21

+ G-Littles IG Reveal awwww

The nerves/being on edge about jokes going well lol about RV being “scarred” - also the Psis are really funny wtf lol 

4.5.21 + Got $8 from my Plato’s Closet 

+ FT w Shawntel being a little weird but that’s also bc it went really late and im just tired lol #Publix?? #Absolutely Not #ForMyHealth 

There’s this weird feeling that I can’t seem to shake off. Where… I’m happy bc - looking back I know that ive accomplished so much - and that ive lived out so much and done so much- but I can’t seem to shake off the feeling that Im not as hpy as. I once was> And I think that has a lot to do with the fact that my life is at a stand-still and im kinda left to my own thoughts and my own critiques of where I am in life - and thats constantly replaying in my head. And im at a time where everything that set studying or interviewing or working on apps is hindering my progress and my life. its just a tough spot to be. And I wish I were out of it. Because while im here, I can’t help but feel like the best days of my life are behind me and that everything else is moving on and changing without me. Without my input or participation. 

Whitney Houston, Demi Lovato, etc.

“I feel like a star who’s light has dimmed. Like a star that’s run it’s course.”

Everyone is allowed to have different seasons 

“This isn’t it” - there’s lots of life and love and projects to be had”

4.6.21

Mayo = Joshs trigger word #CincoDeMayo

Purged & dusted my closet 

Found $16 Target gift card from 2006; used it for my eyebrow pencils

Vacuumed mommy’s car 

+ Cold Shoulder Ep 3 with LongLee

“It is so important to remember your best days, on your worst ones. -> importance of “Words of Aff” and why I made them; kinda wish I had done them regularly in undergrad when I had tours and asian community and a seemingly endless abundance of affirmation; but I know that I wrote the most important ones down and maybe.. maybe the best ones are the relevant ones. And I probably don’t need to gas myself up more than I need to haha

4.7.21

+ Boba Lounge with LongLee

+ “I’m not going cold or being cynical; I’m just trying not to over romanticize love and the idea of it” —- thank God I went through that. If I had to go through that, I had to go through it. I keep debating with myself if I was someone who “deserved” to have gone through that. But I do. I feel like that’s futile bc it happened anyway. Maybe life had to humble me down and provide me with a more realistic picture of human love and relationship. And now that the filters and fluff are off, I’m realizing that:

I don’t want it lmao 

“Remember that Jean Grey’s transformation into the Dark Phoenix happened over time”

4.8.21

string of bad luck just trynna get to Ates gym after dropping off mom. BAD LUCK FTW #HumbleLiving amirite 

“Be obsessed with your progress, and not with what you have left”

One part can not be loud enough for the whole thing (earbud problems. Stupid mplow)

+ burned 200 Calotes in under 20 min (and 600 overall at the Cortland 2 Floor Gym! Will most def be back. Haha) - Lo fi while music is definitely the vibe (lets me know Issa time to be productive henny!)

4.8.21

+ Full & Productive azz day 

+ “Do you miss being young it hopeful?” - something about Greek probate / reveal videos. Something about being young and having everything waiting in front of you 

Not feeling the weight of the real world , or the mundane repetitiveness of the average day 

Goal: to have fun and to find youthful hope in my reality as a working adult 

4.10

Waiting and wishing so hard for my next thing in life. I’m so tired of feeling like I’m mourning the shadow of a life I once lived. One with excitement, optimism, and memories, progress, growth, and evolution. It wasn’t to a point where I was suicidal or anything, but it was definitely a time in my life where inwas like, “wow. Life is not exciting at all.”

I really really really hope that by next Christmas I allow myself to enjoy the season’s festivities. I hope that- no matter where I am in my paralegal/pre-law school journey, that I can still find a moment to reflect on what’s truly important and how to celebrate the people in my life. 

These days, I feel like it’s so hard to just sit still- and to enjoy the moment. Im so wrapped up and obsessed with trying to build my career as my life - and it’s like this constant and endless video that plays in y head of how far I have left and how hard it’s going to be. And I’m always having this voice that tells me how much time is passing and much I’m losing in the meat of it. 

But I don’t want that to be the case. I’ve learned that if it wasn’t one thing, jt will be another. And contrary to my own romanticism times before, I’ve always had SOME form of stress to eat away at me. And now that we have bigger responsibilities and bigger things to deal, I want my coping mechanisms and my forms of personal management to be just as healthy and responsible

I’m not a kid anymore. And I don’t want to be. I can’t say I’m 100% adult yet either (even tho I’m 25 lol)— but I still won’t let that sense of displacement shake me. Am I too young? Am I too old? — bEtch maybe I’m both. And today is the day I would like to stop attacking myself and allowing my own fears to make me insecure. 

We are going forward. whether we like it or not. Whether how far is up to us. Whether it’s in the direction or way we want, that is also up to yes. Maybe not completely, but. When we make it - one day - 

We will know that we will have played a significant role in that success.

PDPsi, CFCY USF, Concordia, SPC/Raving. All of that stuff is behind us now. And we honor it best when we step into the next phase of our life- stronger, Wiser, and more Judsy than ever.

Let’s try a different approach? 

Somethings I don’t want to feel rn:

Like I messed things up with S and that it was my fault (and my fault alone) that it ended. And along with it everything that could have been and what made me happy 

That everyone’s lives are moving on and changing without me. And that I’m here yet again - wasting time and making progress so small that it doesn’t matter 

That I’m fat and out of shape and unlovable 

That I’m wasting my potential 

That I’ve always been naive about life and too optimistic about a God who could care less about me, bc he doesn’t exist 

That it’s up to me to make my own happiness. That happiness is something you convince yourself you have - and not something you genuinely experience 

Calling: to take an active and combative role in steering my thoughts and where I slow them to go and make me feel 

At the moment, I feel very frozen in my disposition. I’ve been finding lately that I don’t have a lot of regular motivation - LOL. And that it really is my default state to just.... sit in contemplation and comfort. Lol. it’s really only until the last minute when I feel the pressure of time winding down that I really start moving. 

But here’s the thing

I wanna start viewing my days as investments again. 

I wanna see my days and weeks as tools I sing to build a tomorrow that’s I want to see

I’m not going to stay here forever 

And if I pity myself and let fear swallow me alive, I KNOW that’s how I will stay here forever. 

And I’m not doing it. 

I want to view my days with purpose, investment, and opportunity. 

Not as things to just “get through” or be over with. But to really put fort my best. Whatever that looks like  

4.11.21 + me feeling a rush from having a new bag and filing “productive and professional” and shiiiii —> feeling like machine; thinking about what Allyson stoner said about being a money-making machine at such a young age and having money generation as the top thing on your mind; “pardon my confusion, but. I thought life was about living - not about money making”

+ would really like to be healthy/hot/fit AF for my next festival (will it be in 2022? EDC? We don’t know. But please have law apps done by then!!! *fingers crossed) + reviewing old paralegal stuff is nice (ordinances, statutes, writing, etc.) 

why do I have so much anxiety over how people see me and think of me? Well let me rephrase. Why do I 

Maybe it’s something that I feel I actually have control over. Maybe it’s something I’ve always wot I’ve excelled at. Interpersonal skills, meeting with people, creating a bind with them, and perfecting how I come across. Maybe I’m so obsessed with it Bc it’s the only fmaklaor thing that I feel that I have. And maybe it’s time to take healthy steps in alleviating that insecurity

4.12.21

+ First Day going back to weights 

contrary to what we might think, the “heavy” weight we put on actually doesnt make us look all that bad. I mean granted, we’re bot as “lean” as we were in Jan and Feb (Aka the onset of “Abs”) BUT- out arms and biceps were starting to look MAD nice after our pump! Haha. Maybe this idea to focus on arms for the next 2 months (and less on eating “Minimal” calories won’t be such a bad idea)

4.13.11

Health Notes: Skin has improved SIGNIFICANTLY from increased and ample water intake (gallon a day) - very smooth and less irrritated 

Concerns still: dry hair and uneven skin (even though skin is b soft and smooth)

Ya def add a little eyebrow on top to add more for nights out or Special occasions 

5 responses from South America/Philippines story 

7 hour lunch catchup w Kyle!!!!! - maybe God showing me that my situation wasn’t all that bad; and that maybe my having lack of conviction from S was actually a blessing (can you imagine howbmichbharderbjtnwoidve been if you were in kyles shoes???? From the outside looking in, she sounded like the perfect MATCH for him. I hope he’s ok. As much as we were laughing and trolling I could tell he was listening in on the parts where I was serious and warning him against falling for someone who doesn’t exist (whomp me and my experience). But anyway it was really nice t catchup w Kyle. Even tho I could feel my social battery lowering throughout, I’m really happy that I have a friend lie Kyle who WANTS to hangout with me and make time to see me and catchup with me. Someone who I have so much history with and was REALLY my first new and close friend at USF. Anyway rooting forward him and his future!!! He’s got his nursing degree in the bag, and I’ve got mine coming soon w law!! To Coachella 2023!!!!!!!! #lol 

Dissatisfied with the way I look. Especially my face. I’m kind sad that I don’t see the sharper and more defined face that I saw from July - January. I’m kinda bummed that I feel like all my progress from Pandemic is now gone and that I literally look more or less the same since last year (my insecurities tell me that I’m fatter bc I’m older and/or bc my body rebounding from losing so much weight the first time around). Well either way, 

Was really happy with my skin color after my shower! Dare I say.. it looked... smooth? And shiny? But I really wanna help my skin and my face. And make it look less “tired” and worn out. Most of my insecurity about my face come from it being discolored, uneven, dry, and scarred :( (oh, and fat. But I guess that isn’t a skin concern lol)

Things that kinda weight me down rn:

being over Grk life and my quick obsession with it 

Not being close to rna 

Being fat again and feeling like all my progress is gone 

Law school apps, NALA 

S 

Feeling like I won’t be excited again the way I was from festivals and 2019 (lol super dumb, I know) - why do I always over romanticize the season I’m not in?

Allergies: actually had a small reaction from black pepper, skin is red and irritated (like purply) and sensitive. Like the usual burning sensation. I also have a headache and wonder if that could be from allergies? But also could be from needing water?

4.14.21

Health/Appearance: Low Taper Fade with Triangular bush-up; how to grow out hair evenly again? 

Aino Men’s Fashion ideas (pero unfollowed on IG bc it didn’t give me anything on the regular LOL)

New shampoo!

Revamp overnight routine! Started with Cera Ve overnight cream, but would also like to start eye cream

“What if you had a choice to choose what reality you lived in?”

What if, this singular plane of existence, IS the multiverse. It is a multiverse - simply foe the fact that it is comprised of different realities - in the minds of millions of people. 

“What if you had a choice? What if you had that power?” What if you saw it? What if you used it?”

“I choose to live in THAT one”

4.16.21

+ feeling persistent waves of happiness and relief and pride and joy #NALA #Alowingyourself just to feel good 

+ feeling myself after my haircut #Brows #ChapstickLips #SilverGrayOutfit #BodyOdy

Cool Airbnb and vacay vibes!!!!! ✌🏽 

Lil & Glil bonding and partying it up 🥺💙

2021: The Year that I ... found a greater appreciation for my time as a Greek in undergrad and for all that it’s brought me after. Closer friendships with Josh, Calvin, and Thomas. A greater understanding and deeper bond w Greek friends, and my little and GLil! I think through Derick picking up Harvey, I found yet another appreciation of my time in PDP and how much I made out of undergrad. After everything and looking back, I really don’t regret making that last minute decision to go to rush and pledging/crossing when I crossed. I wouldn’t have the lineage I do now without it, and so if that isn’t a reason to trust Gods timing and how much meaning He can bring to your situation then idk what 

4.17.21 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CADEN!!!!!!!!!

Honestly, im having so much time just being here with family. Relaxing, enjoying the vacation vibes - laughing, eating, not being compressed by a time or pressure to be anywhere. Just - being!  lol. I wonder if this is how God meant for people to live once in a while (hashtag Sundays?) Also anyway, can we just. Talk about how cool this house and backyard is?????? Qorl. 4 Playstations, a themed rooms, a TV in each one, a bomb jazz backyard. Like uhm??. AND. EVERYONE gets a bathroom. Im like— !!!!! UHM? lol. wow. Like this is a vacay home. Enjoying the mf pool and the bomb jazz backyard! LIKE WOW RICH. I felt so bougie and relaxed and on a high from enjoying the sun lol. Being on instagram, enjoying people’s reactions from my WAP video, out wholesome story about Caden’s duck pool party….. I felt such a swelling of happiness and joy that Caden/everyone had so much fun from the Ducy pool!!!! aww. WORTH EVERY CENT, TBH. And Caden can share it with Liana!

Frustration and annoyance w having to deal with the company of the sm*hs. are they hard to work with, yes. Does it make loving them hard, yes.

But I think. When we think about the world and much God actually loves, and how there are many reasons why it shouldn’t work in our favor - and yet it still does, we should operate from a place of gratitude. And being grateful is serving as an extension of His grace. That is the challenge and that is the stuff of life, isn’t it 

+ Sirius XM radio is IT henny 

Soul cycle radio and their top 40 trap top 40 and throwback hits??? WOw

Happy Baptism Caden!!!!

Caden’s Baby Raddle Rosary was a success!!!!!! #daww 

Enjoyed backyard and vacation vibes once again!

Green lizard 🤢🤢 #TitoToTheRescue 

Mickey Ice cream with ate Lee #MickeysSyrawBERRYgoodicecream

lowkey highkey burned myself 

LOVING my face and my nose and my eyebrows and my cheekbones. Even though I KNOW I’m getting rounder and putting on more weight from my diet, I still love how I look and how I’m “rocking” the petite and chonky aesthetic 

Going to start dieting and working out again for May!

I have a lot to be thankful for, Dont i?

I really can’t believe how fast he’s learning and growing and HOW CUTEEEEE HE ISSSS

Pa Cute 

Ash Whole 

Toll toll TIKA

body parts: beautiful eyes, tongue, hands, feet, tummy etc 

Is it selfish of me to be fulfilled in every way in the sense of my family, but am never satisfied in terms of feeling lonely? 

“Is this not enough to convince you that I love you? And mean every ounce of joy for you? In the way that I had always dreamed and intended?”

I doubt the idea of what Gods image of joy is for me a lot, simply bc I’ve been hurt. And I’ve been discouraged from trying to convince myself that I like Gods idea of joy for me. And sometimes I’m just not convinced.  

“Why was I made to disobey you?” /// “You were made to choose me from Grace.”

Pinky Analogy - shower door handle - could not by itself open the shower door. Questioning the ability of my kinky and why it could bot - by itself - enact what I needed it to do in that moment. And by the time I have it 4 seconds of angry thought, I came to the realization: is this fair ? 

I thought about how much expectations I placed into this one singe part of my bday - one that is (to my knowledge) fully able - and completely placing all of my anger on this one pinky - not even considering how my arm was angled, where I was pulling from, if I had even the right part of the handle TO pull. This brought me to the realization that: we do that all the time I’m society. Ensuring that everyone recognizes the power of their presence and role - and to not blame things on one particular thing. Maybe it’s time we stop placing the weight of a community on an individual- maybe we ought to refrain from .. what SHOULD be the weight and responsibility of a community. One that is healthy vibrant and functioning. (Br 

Grace depends on what we do based on what we know. In times when we KNOW something is off, and can recognize our role in it, that is when we can be loving instruments. Instruments of Grace, forgiveness, and patience 

officially weigh 180 :( LMFAO * as of 4/20 evening • I feel very guilty for gaining weight and having erased all my progress from the past 4 months. BUT if anything: im also hoping top use this time to experiment and focus on biceps, chests, and thighs --- I wanna see if doing more weights will improve my appearance more than doing mostly cardio!!!!!

Although I’ve lowkey been feeling my “thick” aesthetic, i dont want to wait until i get to appoint where i absolutely loath the image i see in the mirror. BUT at the same time I wanna get a head-start on being the healthiest version of me again! Im happy that vacation time has really given me a time to relax and to enjoy and to indulge! But now its time to get back on the other season of life - which is to find balance and grind and to fill myself with motivation! 

ALSO I AM 175/180 AS OF APRIL 20TH OMG WTF

Maybe we need not weigh ourselves down by everything we’ve done in the past. 

Maybe we are allowed to move on- free of any expectations that we might’ve set for ourselves and what our lives should look like by now 

I wonder what would life would look like without my worries. I wonder what life what feel like free

4.21.21

I hate it when I dip into my lows. 

I hate it... when I feel like all my motivation has run out. And.. when all my doubts kinda sneak up on me and attack me all at once. Like it’s been waiting until I’m tired and worn out to pounce. 

I hate feeling like all my best days are behind me, and that there’s nothing else that will give me the excitement and feelings of importance i once had before. I hate seeing what others are currently doing (or have already done) in the undergrad years and comparing it to mine - a journey that I thought was so fitting and perfect and FULL- only to now feel like my story isn’t going anywhere anymore and that my story wasn’t all that great , and that I could’ve a lot more make my undergrad experience even BETTER (at least professionally).

(S hall of fame, that lambda Hal of fame, Vitoria yang 25 under 25)

I hate having this same story of worry, dread, guilt, and fear.

I hate whenever I feel like I’m “dumb” for having hope that I’ll get into Nova or anyother  law school out there, and I hate feeling like people will look down on me for wanting this the past 3 years- yet still amounting to nothing. 

I hate when I convince myself that every victory I’ve had so far in my post-grad journey doesnt matter. 

I hate feeling like my story isn’t going anywhere soon.

I hate having to put a name to all of the anxiety in my head and all of the weight in my heart. 

I hate that I fear that I will never make my parents or my siblings proud - and that I won’t be able to give back to them in the same way that have endlessly done so for me.

I hate that I feel like I’m never growing up (at least — not in the way I shoul have been right now)z

I hate that this has robbed me of time, confidence, and gratitude. I hate that it robs me of joy, and I hate that I feel like less of myself whenever I’m in pain bc of these doubts.

I hope to look back on all of this and to smile and to be proud of a Judsy that never gave up.

Paralegal Career

So in my current regime of YouTube playlists, I have lots of things: self-improvement videos, the View, Social experiments, fitness and cooking videos, Relationship advice, EDM, Zach Campbell music reviews, etc. And most esp right now is the Paralegal Career advice ones! 

4.22.21

+ Overall, getting better at being more straight to the point and less wordy; I recognize now how truly TIRING it is to have to look at a huge chunk of passage and feeling compelled to read all of it(unless its like super interesting). getting straight tot the point is actually a very important thing and it’s actually very professional and efficient. As a potential future lawyer (or any kind of legal professional) in the future, this is something that I want to practice and perfect as time goes on 

+ Got 65 wpm on typingtest.com #yey lol 

Feel so weighed down by living at home!!!!

Let me put the disclaimer up front: that I love my life at home and I love my family 

But I can’t express enough how - it is SO effing hard to set boundaries and a pace for yourself A when you SHARE that space and schedule with other people. ESP your family! 

Conversation of 

I pride myself on being a joyful person and a a an optimistic one (by default). But lately the conversations that I’ve been having in my head is: Who am I when I’m not that? And will people still want to be around me when I’m not that? 

Skin being irritated and not happy w me - confidence going down and feeling all my efforts are to waste 

But I dnt want my confidence and my ego to be so MF fragile!!! Like ugh

Talk about tree of knowledge 

omg Thomas tea (but I’m really happy we talked 🥺) it’s been so long since we genuinely caught up and it was really nice to have that with lammy again

“Where is my reward” - Shawntel 

4.24.21

+ Beach Day for TD Bday 

+ Mortal Kombat with the Calotes & Smiths and Long 

+ Putting Caden to sleep after dad was having trouble 

+ FT w Little 

4.25.21

I don’t want you to feel bad. 

I think that this is a time about accountability? Not feeling bad. I don’t think much good can come from placing your mental default at sad. And discouraged. 

I think what recognize how important these next few months are going to actually be, and I think that we’re realizing how much we actually don’t want to drop the ball on this. 

Action & accountability. This is going to be the mental state that is going to drive us from May into June. 

Also looking forward to Dose #2 on Friday! 

Sometimes I feel lonely, and I think that’s ok. Sometimes .. sometimes you have to remind yourself that not every waking moment needs to feel like a perfect high or a smooth movie. Haha I think I often forget that’s normal 

“When will you give yourself peace?”

I think there comes a point where you HAVE to be ok with what you can give. Like... that’s the most destructive part of being a perfectionist isn’t it? Like... hat feeling of wherever you do or whatever you put forward- HAS to be perfect and it HAS to be flawless 

And as much as that offers a lot of drive and inspiration for you along the way, I think there comes a point where you have to be ok with the occasional limitation and how that affects your performance. Like girl 

Sometimes you just gotta do it.

And so I’m proud of you today. I know that you’ve been feeling down a lot about your body and all the obstacles that stand in the way of you working out as much as frequently as you used to. And how all the birthdays and fun festivities have been making you feel like you haven’t been studying or working on applications and doing anything productive, really.

But babe, celebrating life is productive.. celebratory your family is Productive

So be gentle. don’t beat yourself up for having lost time. God replaces what has been lost, and you most certainly have all that much time to improve and to grow and to be on the right track 

Embrace every moment as it comes, and remember that right now is a time of accountability not punishing or belittling yourself.

Being harder on yourself than life is not going to make life any lighter. 

It’s all about action, accountability, peace, and acceptance. 

I’m proud of you. Those 500 calories burnt on the treadmill were FIRE as all Fuq. And you look good while doing it.

Have fun at universal with the Vus tomorrow :)

4.26.21

vent to cam about being sick and tired of such a “meh” season in my life 

Happy I got to see the development of the Velocicoaster today :’) - I CANT WAIT TO RIDE IT ONE DAY

Happy I got to see Caden and laugh and play w him today. He is getting so effing bug (like - a REAL adult sized toddler boy!) and my heart can’t take how sweet and smart he is :’(

Looking forward to the days when I know I’ve been accepted to law school. And knowing that my life will have a set direction again. I feel like it will be such a sweet peace. And tbh I can’t wait to wild out and to celebrate all my tears and worry and freedom from all this old fcking anxiety 

Thinking about how the things I say about P*lina echoes advice that I ought to listen to as well: Your trauma is not your fault, but your healing is.

Maybe it’s time to start waking up at 7 and giving myself more time to do/fit more  into my day! — ESP if I feel that family/mom is a large distractor of those things 

“An artist sometimes never gets to choose how their day goes. But, for the sake of people’s enjoyment and foe the fulfillment of that artist soul — they grind through it. They make a way. And somehow they make it work”

4.28.21

uhm. Why tf am I not on the website? I understand if I were a volunteer or whatever, but the fact that im on the actual board and am actually putting in time for this and submitting things - and I don’t even get a formal recognition on the website? Like not even a picture? ok. 

[i-simp-for-gintoki]

Teaching Sanji how to make a meal he’s never heard of

Did this for randomly for fun, idk the idea hit me as i was drinking coffee at 5am. this is completely unrevised and unedited so its probably all over the place knowing my tired self. 

Also a few of my irl friends know this acc and im suddenly im kinda hella embarrassed to post anything lmao

hrng theres always so much dialogue but im to lazy to add a background and stuff for a proper one shot aaaaa

it was a lazy day on the sunny

the next island was still quite a ways away so everyone was doing there own thing to pass the time

but you were feeling kinda hungry, so of course you call sanji over

arriving at your side in record breaking speeds he smiled as he grabbed your hand and kissed it

“how may i help you my love?”

you returned his smile and laughed

“im feelin kinda hungry, do you think you can make me something to eat?”

he seemed to glow at your request and nodded his head

“Of course i can y/n-swan! Do you have something in mind or should i just make the usual”

you tilted your head in thought as you thought of the dish

“Actually i do have an idea”

You told him the dish and expected him to immediately run off like always but instead he blinked

“Erm...can you repeat that please?”

Telling it to him once more, the blond frowned and closed his eyes in thought

“I don’t believe i’ve ever heard of this dish, do you think you can describe it?”

“Sanji, don’t tell me you’ve never heard of this dish before?!” you say, eyes wide with shock

And now he feels even more guilty than before

He knows that there are food and meals out there he’s never heard of, but now when your requesting one of them and he cant do anything about it? He feels awful

“I apologize y/n-swan. I’ll make you some--” you interrupt him by poking his chest “Nope you’re not gonna cook anything now” 

This time he’s the one whos surprised

“Bu-” “Alright Sanji, today im going to teach you one of the best meals out there” 

Grabbing his hand, you lead him to the kitchen with a smile

“Y/n-swan...you can cook??” “Of course i can! I may not be a pro like you are, but i know a couple dishes pretty well. Only reason you don’t ever see me in the kitchen is simply because im lazy. Plus i prefer your cooking more, feels like im eating food that only royalty deserves”

His heart seemed to explode at that, he quickly pulled you back into a tight hug

“Y/n-swaaaaan~! What did i do to deserve an angel like you?” you laughed and hugged him back equally as tight

Once you finally made it to the kitchen, the chef grew excited

Excited to learn a new dish, excited that you are the one teaching it to him, excited to taste his lovely s/o’s cooking for the first time

You turned to him and crossed your arms

“Alright, how do you want to do this? Do you want to do it while i explain the steps, or do you want to just watch me make it?”

He thought for a few moments. While he was tempted to do it himself, he really wanted to try your cooking 

“I’ll watch you do the cooking, but i’ll help prep if thats alright with you. Just tell me what to grab and ill get it!”

You nodded your head and begun to list the ingredients

Throughout the whole process, Sanji was much quieter than you had initially thought he would be

Much less fawning over your actions, and more determination and focus as his blue eyes watched every little thing you did

Every now and then he would ask some questions or clarification but he didn’t say much else

Though actually, i think he would randomly give compliments to you while you cooked 

Soon enough the meal was complete, and suddenly you became slightly self conscious about your cooking

“Alright Sanji, the plating is a bit messy, and the flavors are probably not up to your standards but-” “Nonsense. I’m sure it tastes amazing, after all you were the one to make it”

You sigh and place the dish in front of him

He inspects the dish for a few seconds, turning it around and smelling it, sometimes gave it a light poke or two before finally taking a bite

He closes his eyes as he chewed but they suddenly shot open

“This is really good!”

“Really? You don’t have to be nice you know, its fine if you dont like it” you say but he shakes his head

“No no, this is seriously really delicious! Amazing job y/n-swan! The seasoning is amazing and the texture is very nice, the flavor isn’t too strong or light its just right. This is a great dish that I will definitely try to make in the future”

You can’t help but get a bit flustered at the compliments

“Thats..thats very sweet of you to say thank you” 

You lean over the table and kiss his cheek

From that alone he had to fight against getting a nose bleed honestly

“Now eat up, i believe you were the hungry one after all” he says and you nod

“Sure, lemme just grab another plate and fork and we can split it” you say but he quickly stands up “Here, let me grab it for you. Its the least i can do”

Standing up, he walks towards where the dishes and silverware is but pauses

“Instead of dirtying more things, how about you let me feed you?” he asks with a cheeky smile

You roll your eyes with a smile, deciding to indulge him of his request you nod

“You know what? Sure why not”

Later on he would practice the dish and have you taste it to see if it was correct/to your liking

Unsurprisingly, It only took him a few attempts to nail it 

Another one to add his own flair to it and make it even better

And man, the proud grin he had when he served you this dish

Like many of his other dishes, he practiced it to the point where he could probably make this perfectly blind folded

He gives you a sincere thank you for teaching him a new dish

Will make it for you whenever you ask

But please make him more food, he absolutely loved your cooking and hope it wasn’t a one time thing

#sanji x reader #one piece #vinsmoke sanji #one piece x reader #the sanji brain rot is real yall #dumpling writes

[dbzebra]

Since no one did an ABCD about Goten, can I ask? I’d love to hear your headcanons on him.

Of course! And hi! Thanks for the follow! I'm the resident Goten stan so I'd love to do this. All my writing is about Teen Goten so these will primarily be about that era but young Goten gets mentions too.

@dragonballwish you also asked for my boi Goten so im @ ing you here!

I kinda did a few of each oops lmao

Headcanon A:  realistic

Goten is not a ladies man or player in the slightest. He is a total sweetheart, and while he is by far the most "street smart" of the Son family, he's still naive and somewhat shy around girls his age.

He has 0 filter and just blurts out the most wild shit, and cant keep secrets very well. He's flown around in public a lot even as a teen completely forgetting that hes not supposd to lmao.

And last one, Goten opens a martial arts school as an adult. He was in college but dropped out, due to feeling like he was just wasting time and didnt even know what he wanted to do. So Trunks got him a job at Capsule Corp in the meantime to help pay the bills for him and his wifey since they're newlyweds at the time. (He got married right before his 20th birthday)

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Goten is a secretly Saiyaman stan even as a teenager. When he was younger, he was the only one who thought Saiyaman was cool. And he still does! He's loved Power Rangers / Sentai his whole life and still like :OOOO when Gohan dresses up lol. He lowkey wanted to be Saiyaman 3, but wont admit it cause he'd be embarrassed doing any of that in public lmao

Also, Goten collects figures of the World Tournament fighters. He has all of them in his room. His favorites are the one of his dad from the 23rd WT, and the one Trunks had specially made of the two of them as Mighty Mask

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Goten is fucked up from the whole Majin Buu Saga. Meeting Goku only for him to have to leave after only a day, finding out his brother (seemingly) died, an watching his mother get killed in front of his eyes in the span of less than 24 hours at the age of seven, he got clingy to all of them when everything first went back to normally. For months, Goten would wake up thinking they're all dead again and he would be all alone again.

However the thing that affected Goten the worst is being absorbed by Buu. The only people who know this are Trunks, and later his girlfriend Marron.

Goten is haunted by being swallowed by that goo and kept in that bod. He has nightmares of being absorbed again, and Marron being killed or turned to chocolate again. He blames himself for not finishing Buu off as Gotenks and "letting" Buu kill her.

When he goes up against Good Buu in End of Z, despite knowing this Buu is pure good he kinda has a panic attack having to fight him again

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

He had feelings for Marron from a young age, but buried them so deeply he forgot he had them, because he honestly felt he'd somehow screw up. Like Marron, he'd rather just keep things the way they are then end up losing her after a potential break up (spoiler: they dont break up.)

So when Marron finally kisses him for his 16th birthday, (as a "redo" for when she kissed his cheek as kids and he flipped out cause he was convinced he'd get cooties, turn blue and explode), that kiss kinda reawakened those feelings he had. Though this time he realized he couldnt push them away anymore. And didnt want to either.

So TLDR Goten and Marron hook up (what all my fics are about lol, my little rarepair <3), and theres a lightswitch in Goten's mind that makes him want to start training again. He's always liked sparring, but never took it seriously after Buu. But after his first date he realized he had someone he wanted to protect and asked Goku to train him. He eventually learns SSJ2, Instant Transmission, and his goal became to reach SSJ3 on his own and beat his dad in an all out fight.

Also he sometimes takes Marron's hair scrunchie to wear on his wrist for good luck during fights

Sorry this got waaaaaaay longer than I thought lol. Thanks for sending this!

#goten #headcanon