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daggerspare-standingby · 2 years

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Great Balls Of Fire

Just a quick little one shot that's been buzzing around in my brain for a while, and no reason to post it until today (10/28/22) when I heard that Jerry Lee Lewis (original singer of Great Balls Of Fire) passed away today. Thought this would be appropriate, please be kind! First TG post :)

Please enjoy a one shot of Rooster x Girlfriend!Reader

a bit of fluff, a bit of angst (see Mav) for missing the OG Bradshaws (Carole & Goose) but mostly fluff :)

It was a Friday night, and you were working the bar of the Hard Deck as per usual, your boyfriend and his teammates hanging out by the pool tables and dart boards until the end of your shift when you would join them. Conversation hummed throughout the bar, accompanied with the vintage vinyl playing from the jukebox. Penny was chatting with Maverick on the other end of the bar, and you poured another glass of draught for a regular customer. As you turned around to ring through the sale, you heard a chorus of groans sound throughout the bar as the Jukebox was unplugged - again - and there was really only one culprit that could be to blame.

Bradley took his place at the piano, having waited closer to the end of your shift to start playing just in case Penny decided to throw him out for being a little shit. He tinkled a few of the higher octave keys before settling down on the bench and then he started his usual song. Despite the smile growing on your face as his voice rang out the first few words of the verse, you did have to roll your eyes. This song was constantly on repeat in your boyfriend's brain, he said it brought him closer to his dad when he played it. You couldn't fault him that, wishing that you could have met Nick and Carole Bradshaw before you started dating.

Come On Baby! You're Driving me Crazy

The entire bar broke out with him for the chorus - because nobody but Bradley knew the actual words to every verse.

Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire!

Watching your boyfriend eating up the attention, you couldn't help but admire him from your place behind the wooden bar. He looked so good, sun kissed from his day outside, curls lightened but in a fluffy mop on the top of his head - one that you loved to run your fingers through - and aviator sunglasses, the pair that you learned were his dad's which was why they constantly slid down his narrow nose, midway down the bridge of his nose as he bobbed his head to the song he sang and played. Rooster looked so good in this moment, in the limelight. He was always so charismatic, his voice, that straight smile, and that damn 80s style moustache that worked so well for him. His gravelly voice as he sang the "that feels good baby" made shivers automatically run down your spine and goosebumps rise on your arms and a heat pool in the pit of your stomach. Yup - it was time to get your man home.

He was smiling as he sang along, his friends and co workers singing along as well; all except Hangman because Jake was just too cool to sing along to Great Balls Of Fire for the umpteenth time that month. You did catch him tapping his foot to the beat though as he sipped his beer and smirked, making a mental note to tease him about it later. Checking the big clock above the door to the bar, you saw it was just a couple minutes to the end of your shift, you looked over at Penny, asking her silently if you could clock out with a nod towards Rooster at the piano to which she simply nodded and waved you off.

Just as he was finishing the song you untied your apron and tucked it under the bar, coming around the opening you bit your lip - you'd never done this before and it was going to either go very well, or very poorly. "Hey Rooster, you big stud!" you raised your voice slightly to be above the music, enjoying the way his head automatically shot up, a grin gracing his features.

You also didn't miss the way that Maverick's head also turned on a swivel as you repeated one of the favourite phrases of one very special Carole Bradshaw. Rooster smiles at you from the piano "That's me honey!" echoing the words that Goose and Carole once said to each other, Maverick stared at you both in shock from his seat at the bar. Tears lining his eyes as he watched the scene play out in front of him; remembering back to a four year old Bradley perched atop a very similar piano, Goose playing the exact same tune and Carole moving to sit atop his lap and join him in the very last chorus.

"Take me to bed or lose me forever!" Your eyes locked on Rooster as you walked over to him and he quickly maneuvered an arm around your waist to pull you into his lap while not missing a beat of the final verse of the song "Show me the way home honey!" He played the final notes of Great Balls of Fire with a flourish and then pulled you in for a steamy kiss, moustache tickling your upper lip and warm hands pressed around your waist. He stood up quickly almost knocking you over as he moved to slip your hand into his and twine your fingers together "Penny, I'll settle up tomorrow! Gotta take my girl home!" Penny shook her head laughing and waved a towel at the two of you as you were dragged out of the bar.

Despite hearing the song every night, sometimes multiple times a day, Rooster would never stop singing it. Not only did it bring him closer to his dad, but as long as he knew how much it would turn you on when he performed it, he'd sing it to the end of his days.

#rooster fluff #great balls of fire #jerry lee lewis #top gun maverick #top gun #goosexcarole #rooster x reader #Bradley rooster bradshaw #Bradley bradshaw #tgm #top gun fanfiction

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dolorum-magne · 1 year

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My tgs headcanons! I tried to do 5 each for each main character!

Henry Jekyll

-will absolutely talk your ear off about science if you let him. Mention literally anything about science or alchemy or any of his other interests his face will light up and he'll talk for hours. Robert loves it

-if there isn't already a library in his old house or the society I bet he'd want one. His prized possession aside from his science stuff hes collected over the years (like his glass cabinets full of poisons and such) is probably an old copy of frankenstein from when he was a kid. It's worn, faded, and almost falling apart from being read over and over again for years. He probably doesn't read it much anymore (both from lack of time and probably wanting to keep it in the best condition possible) but keeps it on a shelf somewhere as a little keepsake.

-definitely some kind if ND in my opinion. Maybe I'm projecting a little, but I believe it wholeheartedly

-his favourite seasons are autumn and summer. He liked the leaves and the colours and sitting with a hot drink by the fire when its a bit chilly during the fall, and probably enjoys the warm weather. I think it'd be nice for taking zosi for walks

-Dislikes winter but for a different reason than Lanyon. His immune system is canonically shot due to his issues with insomnia so he'll get absolutely taken out during flu season (learned that from the story sketchbook from SabCots online store!) I just imagine him and Robert holed up in an office or one of their houses in front of the fire absolutely swamped with blankets while Henry's got the sniffles and Robert's just cold lol.

Edward Hyde

-headcanon him as a shameless flirt but his brain would probably short circuit if someone flirted back lol

-loves science just as much as Henry even if he won't admit it.

-(this was commented on my other post and i loved this one so I'm adding it here) Hyde is double jointed and uses it to freak people out.

-collects random things like trinkets and spare change.

-hides thing in weird places for Henry to find later to annoy him

Robert Lanyon

-I think he's a dog person I think about this headcanon a lot actually, and there is a reason behind it! In the bleeding heart (tgs prequel comic) he tells Henry he "has no idea how many dogs they've lost in those woods" when talking about the woods outside his families holiday home in Lausanne. I know hes most likely talking about hunting dogs (probably foxhounds or similar breed since fox+game hunting was a common sport for centuries. Maybe still is idk) , bit either way its easy to assume he may have grown up around them (and as I'm a huge dog person) it was easy for me to assume he's at least fond of dogs, also since Henry has a dog and Robert doesn't seem to mind at all. Either way i think Robert is a dog person and even though I only have a tiny bit of evidence to base it on but it's probably my favourite headcanon.

-I think he has a sweet tooth. No explanation for this one. -favourite colours is purple.

-has an eye for detail in different arts. Fashion, architecture, music, etc. I think he enjoys art

-favourite season is definitely summer

Rachel Pidgley

-cooks people things to show she cares about them. It's why she let's Edward steal cookies when she bakes them, why she made all that food for Jasper.

-she used to be Henry's personal cook at his house before he started the society and she became the day manager. I think that when Henry spends the night on his couch in his office (which is probably very often) she probably leaves breakfast and tea outside his door in the morning because he'd probably forget to eat otherwise.

-enjoys baking more than other types of cooking

-helped Hyde distress the end of his cape to make sure he didn't tear it too badly and fray check the edges

Jasper Kaylock

-probably would let Christopher the mud phoenix sleep in his bed with him during the colder months both because he loves his creatures and because hes his own personal heater. Wouldn't be surprised if this had cost him a few sets of sheets in the past.

-someone commented this on my original post about headcanons and I loved it so I'm adding it to mine but Jasper tilts his head to the side like a dog when he's confused.

-probably would enjoy a good scratch behind the ears lol

-definitely has too many creatures, loves all of them

-collects rocks and trinkets. His pockets are probably always full of random things

#The glass scientists #Tgs #The glass scientists headcanons #Tgs headcanons #Tgs jekyll #Tgs Henry Jekyll #Tgs lanyon #Tgs Robert Lanyon #Tgs hyde #Tgs edward hyde #Tgs jasper #Tgs jasper kaylock #Tgs Rachel #Tgs Rachel Pidgley #Took forever to format these correctly lol

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wytfut · 9 months

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Back issues... Chapter 198, episode 50

A few weeks ago, an old familiar back pain was showing up occasionally.

And as usual I ignored it, feeling that I'm probably going to have some sort of back pain the rest of my life... no shit Sherlock. This familiar back pain was recognized, as I found myself holding my breath while I'd do certain motions.... which in turn I'd be out of breath, doing daily mundane chores. NOT out of breath with in seconds, but doing something physical, and around the 10 minute mark, out of breath, holding my breath.

I discovered I did this last fall. I found that I hold my breath, or actually my abdominal muscles to support my back, to keep it from hurting. To keep it simple.... my stomach muscles acting like back muscles, to keep everything from hurting.

At 70 I know I'm going to be out of breath at times.... but I do work out 3 days a weeks "cardio" peddling on my vintage stationary bike, achieving anaerobic status for a set period of time. It doesn't hurt to peddle. I've been very happy with myself to be able to do this, to keep myself in some kind of shape, even if its bare minimal.

way off topic, and nobody cares...

Last week I was doing some weed eating. My most hated job, as from past history, created tons of back pain. But since injection last October, and surgery this past May..... all has been good, and painless, other than the heavy Whitefoot sweat.

No so last week. I couldn't finish the weed eating in one day, and had to finish the next day. The pain previous to the injection was back.... and at the same volume as the past.

Today I went and visited one of my back Dr.'s and he determined I have another site of issues (this makes 4 issues now).... He determined this by moving my legs in all sorts of positions, trying to make pain.

And now I'm back into PT, with a new PT, who specializes in Sacroiliac back issues. And I'm fine with that... 4-6 weeks twice a week. I just may call the PT and try to reschedule to until after Antique Motorcycle Cannonball after October 16....

But Dr. Diamont (god bless this man, I really like him, and the surgeon Dr. Gogelas), made me aware to the fact, that on this particular issue, I will be making a huge choice if it comes to it.

PT, if it fails.... makes me a good candidate for another injection site. Problem though..... successful injection at this site is not good. In fact less than 1/2.

If the injection fails then I have to decide if I wish to give fusion a shot. Fusion is not always successful. My Mother was living proof. PLUS, with my spine being curved makes the odds of fusion working even less. Another part of fusion on Bruce Whitefoot, and his decision to do so..... it could very well create other spine problems. ....

In other words, do I try fusion, knowing that it could be worse when I'm out of surgery. Or do I stop and just live with what pain I have to deal with right now.

I am 70... but with this pain, I'm limited in what I can do physically, more now than ever.

I can weed eat, but at much much smaller bits. Instead of all in one day. I'll be able to try and finish rat truck.... but at 30 minute "DAILY" increments. I'll be able to walk fair, but nothing longer than 100 yards. ..... you get the idea.... and all of this "FOR THE REST OF MY ACTIVE LIFE".

I won't be minus all of my most loved activities. I can still ride with no discomfort (TG!!). And I can tinker in the shop, on other bikes or short mechanical jobs on vehicles. (motocycles I can sit for most of it). 99.99% of time my back doesn't affect my sleep, or sitting.

In the back of my mind when all of my issues showed up, I accepted I may never be able to hike again. Most of the readers here, don't know this, nor know that I loved hiking in Colorado, and always did a "big" hike for a Nebraski flatlander. I haven't had a good hike in 5 years, and I'll be honest.... I miss it. I miss the "goal achieved" high.

I have this habit at times of second guessing myself more and more with age. And I know I do this. But not all animated or depressed about things out of my control.

We'll see what PT brings and then possibly an injection.... and worry about fusion when that time arrives. We are only human, and a person can't help of think about it here and there...

For all of you being patient with me and aches and pains... thanx

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teacherintransition · 3 years

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IT’S STILL NOT FIXED? @#%&.$€£§?} Liberty Bell Take me Away!

"Ladies and gentlemen: the story you are about to hear is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent”*

From me …”your time is your own when you retire.” Not exactly the case my friend, we will, all of us be captive to the throes of incompetence and being “shushed” by some in certain service business. The only thing you can do to maintain your sanity is to nestle up to your favorite barstool for the panacea when in pain and obtain sanctuary. This becomes problematic when your home away from home, the place where everyone knows your name, the place where the omniscient bartender has your required libation already poured when you cross the threshold … when this establishment has been closed for 1,193 days. Et omnis gloria eius…. The Liberty Bell.

The days since I announced my retirement in August 5, 2020; have for the most part, been pretty damn cool. I’ve started a website, a business, am a writing a book, am writing a blog that I plan to transfer into book form, I’m walking, I’m painting like crazy and have read around sixty books. All in all with honey do’s included, I’ve been a very good boy. Not everyday has been grand and nor should it. I can often find peaceful solace upon my lawn mower, lawn tractor, the throne of the most high to be the right balm for almost any emotionally taxing time; I’m pretty damned easy to please. For those that know me, I’m kind of Hank Hill about my lawn. Neatly cut on a weekly basis and verdant green, “I mean to tell ya!” OCD? You bet your ass I am… and I’ve got one of the best lawns on the block. My red, powerhouse mower had been “injured” for the last four weeks… scratch that SIX weeks which has reduced me to the bourgeoisie practice of paying some one to do my yard work. Not me, not ever… or at least not for long.

Without retreading over the bloody, battle ground of indignation, “the customer is always right,” “you need to understand sir,” blah, blah, blah yada, yada, yada, Yoda,” get over it you must?” I find my self like the French and the Germans at the Marne in World War I … at a stalemate. In times like these when a man, who realizes that deployment of WMD’S, would only escalate the matter beyond all reasonable proportion, he must know it’s time to lick his wounds, catch his breath and refresh himself at his neighborhood pub with tasty libations and good conversation. There was only one place in my town of Nacogdoches that could fully restore me with vim and vigor and had all the requisite charms to soothe the savage beast: The Liberty Bell Aug. 2013-May 2018.

As mentioned previously, I shall use pseudonyms to protect the identities of the people who were my superheroes. K opened the Liberty Bell in August of 2013. Kim and I thought we’d “try out the new spot,” and had dinner there the first weekend. K billed it as a wine bar with pub fare and live music. She underplayed her hand… pub fare? More like steaks, shrimp and grits, shepherds pie that transcended finger food pub fare. Over the years, we would enjoy countless bands and singer songwriters. But a wine bar? You sneaky little proprietor of manna and flowing nirvana… she had beer(s), bourbons, gins, vodkas, ….Scotch Whisky with names like Glenlivet, Glenfiddich, Maccallan , Johnny Walker R,B, and B, the Balviene and others. K had prepared and provided an oasis from what St. Anthony Bourdain referred to as the sea of TG Mcfuckdies, Appledon’ts, and other prefabricated restaurant grill ideas that could be found at the end of every feeder road on any highway in the country. The Liberty Bell my friends was something completely different… at least for us small town folk in Nacogdoches. Our first waitress was KC who showed all the charm, wit, and politesse one would expect from an high end dining establishment. This it wasn’t, but it damn sure wasn’t an all you could eat food buffet and salad bar either. As we exited that balmy August evening through the doors, Kim and I looked at each other and, with the stars gleaming in the sky declared, “we really like this place.” In truth, I was holding something back, in my mind and in my heart, I was really thinking, “no, I fucking love this place!”

The decor was simple: dark wood flooring, a mid tone oak bar with the all important brass railings, multi colored earth toned brick that appeared subdued and solid with the look of being an older establishment that gave a feeling of reliability and solidity. A row of draft beers that provided the patron with an eclectic variety of artistic fermented malt beverages. K was presenting a true farm to table dining experience that filled out a fresh, fantastic menu. An eclectic mix of your American staples, southwestern fare, delicious steaks for we carnivores and a few surprises thrown in and expertly prepared.

H worked for K and was the kindest sweetest, fun, personable soul I may have ever met. It was a definite, “YES!” moment if you got her table. You were not only going to get wined and dined, but we’re guaranteed laughter and a hug. Choosing extraordinary personnel, was the magic intangible that made the Liberty Bell … my spot. H was also a fine arts major and ran the art gallery in the restaurant. There were many works from the university Art school, but H sought out local talent and even displayed my art. My paintings were hanging in a gallery! This local flair of coxing the locals to put their talents “out there,” was another draw to get you into this place…this wondrous place. We made friends there … that enjoyed you … not just because you were going to spend money. They would come and sit with you if things were slow and if they weren’t slow, they’d damn sure make the superhuman effort to let you know that they knew you were in house. The master of this service industry art form was J. He was genuinely happy to see you enter the door followed with a hand shake, a smile and a from the heart, “good to see you man!” J and later his protégée N, loved a challenge. You wanted a special nightcap to close out the evening? There was none of this, “duh, I’m sorry we don’t make that,” no, no my friend. J and N knew how to make it or would research right there or suggest a perfectly acceptable substitute. The next week you could safely bet the farm that your drink request was on the menu often being named after you. How could you expect anything better? They wanted you here and they damn sure wanted you back.

All of these niceties, these actions that you could never expect from the chain bar, grill and swill were what made The Liberty Bell transcendent.

“A good local pub has much in common with a church, except that a pub is warmer, and there's more conversation. ”

William Blake

This my friends is the money shot for a personal pub…. not the drinks, not the grub, not the large plant by the door… can the place that you’ve chosen really lift you up when your down? If the whole week has been filled with smart ass criticisms by some passive aggressive mid management flunky who hovers around 5’ 5”, wears shirt sleeves with a polyester tie can two hours spent within the confines of said pub wash away all the smatterings of the Napoleon complex supervisor and have you smiling and laughing and your not even drunk yet….this is the place to be mi compadres. If you congregate with others also beaten down by the soul crushing 9 to 5 and can find commonality in the struggles of your fellow proletariat and can see the good in SOME of the human race, well baby, you’ve found your sanctuary and hold on with all your strength, because one day it might be gone. For four years almost every Friday, Kim and I would meet at the Liberty Bell and commiserate, vent, fuss and heal. Going home, twisting open a beer and mindlessly watching Sports Center was not the ticket. An early afternoon at The Bell was truly good for what ails you. The pub, K, KC, H, J, N, C and the others are all gone… and The Liberty Bell has been replaced with … uh … something. All too many afternoons call out for that salve that soothes the savage beast. I’m reminded often when things just don’t turn out like you want….not to the degree of break down status, but just to the point that a familiar face, your comfortable bar stool and genuine conversation would make everything right with the world again … at least for awhile.

*Webb, Jack; Dragnet; Mark VII Productions; 1951-1970

https://youtube.com/channel/UClK_MAvZtDiLmlp-4HIN7NA

https://instagram.com/loveandwinemedia?utm_medium=copy_link

http://labibliotecacoffee.com/

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hamliet · 5 years

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On Banana Fish’s Ending

Welcome to the hell that is Banana Fish’s ending. If you like it it’s hell. If you hate it it’s definitely hell. If you’re like me somewhere in the middle but closer to “I don’t like this” it’s hell. We’re all suffering.

Like any useless writer, I cope by writing out my feelings so here, have this.

I can see why some feel the ending narratively works in some respects, and in some ways I can even agree it can be read in certain ways that make it work. But I also think a happy ending could have been just as narratively excellent, depending on the execution, and my personal opinion is that this would have been a more responsible ending. But no one has to agree, and I understand why people hate the ending and why people defend the ending.

I’m going to talk about this in a few segments: authorial statements, social messages, and genre. (I’m writing another meta on the narrative themes of the ending because that section got massively long.) For what it’s worth, a story does not exist in a vacuum, and while it’s absolutely valid to interpret and critique a story according to simply the written story, it’s also valid to weigh authorial intent (or to dismiss it), and to evaluate how the story plays into both larger cultural messages and larger literary trends. Any author 100% knows that their story will be interpreted according to all of these. But what follows is mostly my opinion/explaining why I feel as I do. It is not me saying anyone has to feel or interpret it the same way.

Authorial Statements

I know Yoshida has made... contradictory and, frankly, offensive statements on the ending, in which she’s said things such as that Ash narratively had to die because he was a murderer and people who kill need to pay with their own lives. In general, Yoshida seems to struggle in interviews--like saying she hates Yut-Lung when the story’s moral center character (Sing) literally tells him in his last scene “I can’t hate you” and promises to help him redeem himself. This is hardly unique to her. It’s hard to explain a complex element of story in a few sentences of an answer. Ishida’s first interview after the end of TG had some cringeworthy moments, Rowling seems to make constant missteps (and retcons), etc. Hence, I generally employ “death of the author”--I think the author’s intent matters to the extent their work conveys their intent, but not if their work contradicts what they then say.

The entirety of Banana Fish contradicts this idea of murderous karma. In fact, the story is at its core about finding a way out of a violent cycle, of finding freedom. Ash dying with a smile on his face literally says that he did not die trapped in a system of karmic violence with no hope of freedom.

Not to mention Sing is a murderer. Yut-Lung* is a murderer. Blanca is a murderer. They all live, and get hopeful (even happy-ish) endings and implied redemption for Yut-Lung and for Blanca.

*I know Yut-Lung is name-dropped as having been assassinated in a later manga called Yasha but like, he never actually appears in Yasha and it has nothing to do with his character’s arc in Banana Fish, so I don’t think it’s relevant to anything relating to Yut-Lung’s character as we know him. It’s really just an Easter egg, and since Yut-Lung dying in Yasha is a retcon of the fact that his arc ending with him living in the main story (Banana Fish) I feel completely free to disregard it as not actually canon.*

Additionally, Banana Fish takes empathetic looks at children who are suffering in a world where they are forced into the roles of prostitutes and killers, and what’s the point of empathy if it can’t change anything? Eiji is noted to basically be walking empathy, having a gift for comforting those around him, and the mutual, spiritual, and yes, romantic, love he and Ash share changes things for Ash (and for Eiji). To say that death had to happen narratively is to say that Eiji was, in the words of his critics, useless, which is rather at odds with the central emotional draw of the story: Ash and Eiji’s relationship. It contradicts Eiji’s beautiful letter, the one that Ash smiled as he died because of, because in this letter Eiji assures Ash: “you can change your destiny.”

So anyways, regardless of what Yoshida says, Ash being a murderer is not a narrative justification for the ending because that simply isn’t what the story conveys.

That being said, that perspective--that Ash’s death is karma for killing--is exactly Ash’s perspective. Just when he was about to overcome his flaw of not seeing his value by realizing how much he meant to Eiji, Lao reminds him of Shorter’s death, the one thing he cannot forgive himself for. And so Ash allows himself to die. But the thing is this perspective is wrong and narratively condemned. Eiji’s letter offers a counter to this, but Ash doesn’t take it (which is slightly inexplicable). Plus, as we see in “Garden of Light,” it leaves Eiji unable to completely overcome his flaw (an inability to act/truly live) for seven years, so the story condemns it too.

And, of course, Ash also did not kill Shorter out of malice--he was forced into it, like he was forced into the life he had to live with Dino. It’s not the deaths of one of the people begging to be spared whom Ash killed for playing a role in killing Shorter, but Shorter’s death itself that brings about fear and mistrust in Lao. To have Ash’s death be a consequence for killing willingly (which he did plenty of), it should have been for one of those nameless people we got a brief shot of, instead of as a consequence for a murder Ash had no choice in and was a victim of almost as much as Shorter was. But that also wouldn’t work because a nameless death doesn’t quite suffice for offing your main character, so. Yeah. Ash’s death is not a narrative consequence for killing others; it’s expressly framed as a tragic and cruel result of his inability to forgive himself for specific acts that were not his fault.

Social Messages Part 1: LGBT relationships

While Banana Fish was written in the 1980s-90s (kind of a dire time for LGBT+ people in the United States with the AIDS crisis), the trope of “bury your gays” has received rightful criticism since, and the ending can definitely be seen as “bury your gays.” (A criticism that is not helped by what happens to the gay/bi character in Yasha.) In other words, while I think the themes, characters, and frankly issues of Banana Fish are generally timeless, the ending is the only part of the story that I don’t think ages well. As time goes by, it will probably get even more criticism because of current society finally moving towards being better in the portrayal of LGBT+ characters.

*Because I want to complain and explain why I really don’t consider anything post-GoL canon: the follow-up picture book “New York Sense” doesn’t help the “bury your gays” impression either: Sing and Akira are certainly intended to be parallels to Ash and Eiji as Akira is brought to the US by Ibe and interacts with gangster Sing in “Garden of Light,” and while such framing is very ambiguous/bordering on not being there in GoL the follow-ups absolutely paint a romantic framing to their interactions in GoL. They marry and raise a son, popping up in cameos in Yoshida’s other works. Hence it runs dangerously close to reading as the heterosexual couple introduced in the epilogue got the happy ending while the gay couple we spent 19 volumes with did not. Since Sing is also still heavily involved with the mafia in all of the follow-ups, this again contradicts narrative justifications for Ash’s death as karma.

While I very much like Akira’s character, her romance with Sing isn’t just uncomfortable because of the above issue--it’s also uncomfortable because she is 13 and he is 23 in GoL (though their relationship doesn’t have to be read as mutually romantic there, and I don’t read it that way) and according to “New York Sense,” they marry when she is 18 which... implies things that seems very, very out of character for Sing, the series’ moral compass, and dramatically contradicts the skeevy adults preying on kids theme. It can also raise some cringe-worthy questions about why it’s framed as okay for the heterosexual couple but negatively (as it should be) for the people--who are primarily men--who assault Ash (and there is noted to have been a woman who assaulted him in “Private Opinion”). Like with Yut-Lung’s death, I just... don’t accept this retconning as canon. It contradicts the themes of Banana Fish as a story so I don’t have to.*

Social Messages Part 2: Abuse Survivors

For people who have been through abuse similar to Ash’s, in which choices over basic things like life, death, and your own body are taken from you, it’s honestly cruel to show someone who has spent their entire life suffering just about to grasp happiness, and then they die. It is fully valid to find this completely distasteful, and I do too.

But for me at least, one aspect that circumvents... some of the distasteful implication that Ash really was broken by things he had no choice in is the fact that Ash triumphed over his abusers first. Yet of course, having him die afterwards still hurts people who read the story and see themselves in a character like Ash, as it can reinforce the idea that abuse defines your life.

I do wish (though I don’t think there’s a moral necessity) that more authors/creators would acknowledge that, in creating characters whom you in theory want people to relate to, see themselves in, root for, care about, you’re asking people to suffer with them as they suffer and if they die, grieve for them. Given the heaviness of Ash’s arc and the specific nature of his suffering (especially since it was horrifically emphasized in the story’s last arc with Foxx), the fact that Ash didn’t in the end overcome the message that he did not have value is going to be very painful for readers/viewers. (Lao missed his vital organs, so Ash really chose to die instead of getting help, because he chose to believe Blanca over Eiji, which... I’m not sure it quite works.) If you could have narratively had it end happily (and it absolutely could have, and apparently Yoshida’s editor told her not to end it with Ash’s death), there’s room to say that going with the tragic ending is hurtful and bordering on irresponsible.

Genre

That defeat of Ash’s abusers is the reason I don’t think Banana Fish is quite as tragic as other stories like, say, the first Tokyo Ghoul or Hamlet or Macbeth, though it’s certainly tragic. In those stories, every single characters’ flaws lead to them dying, and it offers a cautionary tale. Banana Fish is more in the vein of say, Romeo and Juliet, or even the movie Titanic (I’m not making a romance comparison, for the record), in that the main characters might die, but their choices and the people they loved and how they loved manage to save a city, in the case of Romeo & Juliet, or to save Rose in the case of Titanic. In Banana Fish, Ash did help Eiji live, even if Eiji would need time to process it after the set-back of Ash’s death.

In other words, even if I’m unhappy with it and I am, I don’t consider Banana Fish’s ending nihilistic. It wasn’t “life sucks and then you die,” at least not to me. Life sucked, but it also meant something, even beyond Ash’s relationship with Eiji. Ash’s life had value. Through saving Sing in the story’s climactic battle, and then helping Max with that article that would save other child prostitutes, Ash saved younger versions of himself. That’s powerful. Not only that, but Ash found love and hope in his personal life as well with Eiji, Max, Shorter, etc., and through that genuine happiness. Even if he couldn’t fully grasp it, he knew it was there, and he died knowing there was genuine, true love, and therefore beauty, in the world too. And that, for me, comes across as far more hopeful than surface-level, cheaper happier endings. But still, the fact that Ash couldn’t fully experience this beauty and happiness because of the cycle of violence he had no choice about being involved in, plus a questionable character decision, does leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. (That questionable character decision, with the letter not having a full effect, makes tragedy seem a bit forced on Yoshida’s part.)

I want to quote Arthur Miller’s “Tragedy and the Common Man,” and I’ve highlighted parts I think explain how I feel about Banana Fish and Ash’s character (in particular, why I don’t think a tragic ending necessarily sends a nihilistic message, at least not to me):

The Greeks could probe the very heavenly origin of their ways and return to confirm the rightness of laws. And Job could face God in anger, demanding his right and end in submission. But for a moment everything is in suspension, nothing is accepted, and in this sketching and tearing apart of the cosmos, in the very action of so doing, the character gains "size," the tragic stature which is spuriously attached to the royal or the high born in our minds. The commonest of men may take on that stature to the extent of his willingness to throw all he has into the contest, the battle to secure his rightful place in the world.

There is a misconception of tragedy with which I have been struck in review after review, and in many conversations with writers and readers alike. It is the idea that tragedy is of necessity allied to pessimism. Even the dictionary says nothing more about the word than that it means a story with a sad or unhappy ending. This impression is so firmly fixed that I almost hesitate to claim that in truth tragedy implies more optimism in its author than does comedy, and that its final result ought to be the reinforcement of the onlooker's brightest opinions of the human animal.

For, if it is true to say that in essence the tragic hero is intent upon claiming his whole due as a personality, and if this struggle must be total and without reservation, then it automatically demonstrates the indestructible will of man to achieve his humanity.

The possibility of victory must be there in tragedy. Where pathos rules, where pathos is finally derived, a character has fought a battle he could not possibly have won. The pathetic is achieved when the protagonist is, by virtue of his witlessness, his insensitivity, or the very air he gives off, incapable of grappling with a much superior force.

Pathos truly is the mode for the pessimist. But tragedy requires a nicer balance between what is possible and what is impossible. And it is curious, although edifying, that the plays we revere, century after century, are the tragedies. In them, and in them alone, lies the belief-optimistic, if you will, in the perfectibility of man.

This applies to basically all tragedy, of course, but I think some tragedies are more hopeful than others. And I see that struggle in Ash’s, and a hope in Banana Fish that I don’t see in other more nihilistic stories. Ash fought to reclaim the humanity that people tried to deny him, and through Eiji realized his humanity was there all along.

Anyways, these are my complicated, all-over-the-place feelings on the ending. It’s fine for people to feel strongly either way, but also understand that when discussing such a heavy, fundamentally triggering work, it’s good to be sensitive to where people are coming from and interact with differing opinions with empathy. Many of us relate to characters like Ash, Eiji, and Yut-Lung, and since you don’t know where someone is coming from, let them express their feelings, and be kind.

I’ll post another meta on thematic impressions on Banana Fish later. But to each their own. Also please note, again, this is really just my opinion.

#ash lynx #banana fish #banana fish ep 24 #eiji okumura #asheiji #yut-lung lee #yue lung lee #sing soo ling #shorter wong #lao yeon-tai #lao yen-thai #banana fish meta #banana fish ending #ramblings #akimi yoshida

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chalamalabingbong · 6 years

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Timothée Chalamet, Steve Carell, and Director Felix van Groeningen Discuss Addiction and Fatherhood

In ‘Beautiful Boy,’ the trio brings to life the true story of a father coping with his son’s addiction—and reckoning with the limits of paternal love

By Thomas GebremedhinOct. 3, 2018 10:17 a.m. ET

ON A QUIET stretch of beach in Northern California, a father takes his son surfing. Bodies flat against their boards, they paddle away from shore. As the waves grow bigger the boy, forging ahead on his own, disappears behind a curtain of water. Then, just as the father begins to panic, the boy emerges, triumphant, riding a wave back to him.

The scene, which arrives early in Belgian director Felix van Groeningen’s English-language debut, Beautiful Boy—co-written with Luke Davies—casts a long shadow over the rest of the film. Adapted from a pair of best-selling memoirs by a father and son, David and Nic Sheff, the story recounts the painful transformation of one family grappling with drug addiction. David, a well-meaning journalist played by Steve Carell, has always been close to his son Nic (Timothée Chalamet), but as Nic begins experimenting with drugs, eventually spiraling into a full-blown addiction to crystal meth, David is forced to question just how well he knows his boy, where he went wrong and how he can get him back.

Beautiful Boy—produced by Plan B Entertainment (Moonlight, 12 Years a Slave) and shot over 40 days in Los Angeles and San Francisco—has a nonlinear structure, with devastating episodes that reveal the extent of Nic’s dependency (“It takes the world from black-and-white to Technicolor , ” he says of crystal meth) played against sweeter moments between father and son. The film comes as drug addiction remains a national pandemic, but while it poignantly humanizes a difficult issue, it’s not on a mission. Its appeal lies in more universal preoccupations: what it means to be a family, the conflicting impulses in any parent to both protect their children and set them free, and the search for wholeness and identity.

Last month, van Groeningen, Carell and Chalamet reunited for the film’s premiere at the Toronto International Film Festival and for their first group interview about the project. The mood in the room was playful and tender as everyone greeted each other with hugs. While they sat for their portraits, fiery R&B tracks floated down from a sound system; at times, struggling to sustain serious, camera-ready expressions, the trio burst into fits of laughter. Were there similar moments of levity on the set of Beautiful Boy, despite the grave subject matter?

“Oh, sure,” Carell says. “We wanted to honor the material, but we actually had a lot of fun, too. Because that’s part of life. Even within the darkest moments.”

Thomas Gebremedhin: This is a heartbreaking movie. How do you prepare for something like this?

Felix van Groeningen: I’ve touched on the subject [drugs] in my other films, but in a very different way. So I went to Al-Anon and AA meetings. I visited rehab centers. But, obviously, David and Nic were the biggest source of information for me. Getting the details felt important, and so my bibles were the memoirs.

Steve Carell: Being a father really gave context to my approach. Specifically, my love for my own children gave context to how I was approaching this guy, which isn’t too far from how I would imagine trying to navigate this experience if it was something that fell into my life. A week before we started shooting, my son, who was 11 or 12 at the time, out of the blue asked whether marijuana is a gateway drug. This was on the way home from school; it’s clearly something that they’d been discussing. We’d had vague conversations about the dangers of drugs, but not a more adult conversation about it. It’s terrifying on even such a simple level having that discussion. I didn’t want to make a wrong turn. I assume David went through many of the same things, wanting to do everything right but realizing there is no right or wrong path.

Timothée Chalamet: For me, the first thing to pull from is the experience of being a son, a son in a family, and having a great relationship with my father. There is a recognizable physical context to that. From a hundred feet away you can tell by the way people hug whether they’re family.

TG: I want to touch on that father-son dynamic. The chemistry between you two is so apparent in the film. How do you create that connection off-camera?

SC: I don’t think you do. I don’t think it’s something you consciously generate. I don’t want to speak for Timmy, but we immediately liked each other. We immediately felt a connection. I never felt there was an acting exercise that we were using to try to feel more connected. In Timothée I saw an incredible, soulful, generous person. I liked him enormously from day one. And since I’m exactly the same kind of person, I expected him to feel the same about me. [Laughter] But it was very natural.

TC: I feel so immensely filled with gratitude that I have Steve and Felix and other people that I’ve been able to work with at a young age that have been, I don’t want to say paternal towards me, but it’s a form of that, and I…. [Felix gets up to pour himself water] As he’s leaving!

SC: [Laughing] Felix doesn’t feel the same way.

FVG: I was so happy we took two weeks to rehearse. I always do it. It gave us time to know each other. I was very nervous in the beginning, and it gave me time to calm down and to be myself. English isn’t my first language and, I mean, I’m working with movie stars! I needed that time. But as Steve said, it wasn’t like we were artificially getting there.

TC: I was very soothed by Steve’s warmth and kindness—

SC: Keep going.

TC: But really, I was and am a huge admirer of Steve’s work, and I knew this was going to be a bridge for me to cross. It was good for me to realize upfront, OK, that’s going to be a hurdle, especially [since we’re playing] father and son. I needed to get it out of my head.

TG: What were the most challenging scenes for you to film?

TC: I found the sequences on the phone challenging. It’s the nature of the movie that those phone calls are emotional climaxes. And generally, as an exercise, phone calls are challenging as an actor because you don’t typically have the other person there with you. So I was very grateful that each time there was something on the phone, whether it was Andre Royo [who plays Nic’s AA sponsor, Spencer] or Steve, we were always there for each other.

SC: For me, it was when the character of David makes choices that would be difficult for me, or any father, to make. There’s a sticking point in your subconscious, maybe, about how you would handle a situation. By his own admission, David makes tough choices, and sometimes as an actor, or just a human being, you evaluate what those choices are. Sometimes they conflicted with what I imagined I would do, but ultimately I realized it’s probably what I would do. Making that shift was interesting to me.

TG: Right, there are several forks in the road for both David and Nic throughout the movie, but the scene that felt critical to me is when David has to establish some kind of boundary with Nic.

SC: It was a terrifying scene. A moment any parent would dread. It’s hard to even imagine getting to that point, where you have to make that kind of choice while still desperately loving your child. The whole thing is terrifying and tragic and common. That’s the other thing—every day while we were shooting this, if any of us mentioned to other people what we were working on, the stories and personal connections were a bit overwhelming.

TG: Well, last year was the deadliest on record for overdoses.

TC: Yeah, more than car crashes.

TG: This isn’t a preachy film, but how do you hope it will play a part in that discussion?

FVG: I think it’s about giving people a face and a voice. I hope this film gives insight into how complex [addiction] is. A lot of movies touch upon it from just one side. But there’s something unique about [Beautiful Boy]. It’s two points of view of the same story.

TG: When you went back home to your families after a day on set, were you able to leave work at work?

TC: Certainly in any film, whether it’s your relationship to the characters or people or the context of environments, it naturally blends with your experience. It would be dramatic to say that there was no escaping it, and yet we were in it—we shot for 40 days or something, and I just kept thinking, Keep moving, keep going.

SC: This one was hard to leave on set. Every night I came home and hugged my kids a little tighter. My wife and I would talk every night about what we shot that day and how it felt and just the vibe. It didn’t feel like a job. We had to be invested in this because, beyond the fact that it’s a harrowing and relevant story, it’s true. These are real people. I definitely brought it home.

TG: On a lighter topic, there’s the film’s soundtrack: Nirvana, Neil Young, Fiddler on the Roof. It’s all over the place. Felix, how does music inform the story? And Steve and Timothée, as actors, how did you use music to creatively build out these roles?

FVG: The idea came from the books. Music was so important to David and Nic. There’s something beautiful about how it unites them. David mentions in his book a lot of songs that he can’t listen to anymore. So we put some of those songs in the movie. At some point my editor [Nico Leunen] and I wanted to use a classic film score together with songs, but then [Leunen] came up with the idea to drop the score and just use the songs. It made us take a risk.

SC: It’s a language that David and Nic used to speak to each other. As the addiction sets in, their relationship becomes frayed and that language does as well. Music is David’s bread and butter; these are the people he interviews. And he incorporates his son into that world at an early age—it’s both of their worlds.

‘ This one was hard to leave on set. Every night I came home and hugged my kids a little tighter. ’

TC: Yeah, music was a big part to Nic’s character. I remember we were shooting on the campus of USC, and we got into trouble because my portable speaker was playing “Heart-Shaped Box” too loudly. For Nic it was Nirvana; I was listening to Eminem when I was 5 or 6 years old, and it did feel important. It’s an effect of growing up in America, or the world, in a digital, consumerist age, that you’re communicated these messages of self-destruction and alienation.

TG: Timothée, you’ve played coming-of-age roles before, most notably as Elio in Call Me By Your Name. Elio is different from Nic, but they’re also both struggling with their identity. Did you take anything from that role and put it into this one?

TC: That’s a really good question. If there’s a through line it’s the immediacy and the urgency, the moment-to-moment visceral nature of what it is to be young. For Elio that’s a life circumstance that all of us should be so fortunate to go through, to fall in love, but also he’s coming to terms with his sexuality. For Nic, it’s facing this goliath of an obstacle, not only addiction but to one of the most powerful substances known to man.

TG: Did David and Nic give you all any advice?

SC: I didn’t meet Nic until we were shooting, but I met with David. He couldn’t have been more gracious. I think [he’s] very brave to even allow this movie to be made. There’s an incredible trust that he put into Felix and everyone involved that we’d get it at least marginally right. But he took a very hands-off approach with me.

TC: I went out with Nic and [his sister] Daisy to eat, and it was just as Steve said, the greatest gift I got from Nic was the confidence to be Nic. I felt an understanding. I think they understood our biggest goal and mission was to get their story right.

Felix van Groeningen PHOTO: MARK PECKMEZIAN FOR WSJ. MAGAZINE; STYLING BY EMMA WYMAN

FVG: But just in the authenticity and in the heart of it—we didn’t have an obligation to it. It’s not a biopic in that sense, and that’s an advantage, I guess.

TG: Steve, you’re also playing Donald Rumsfeld in Backseat and Mark Hogancamp in Marwen—what’s different about playing a real, living person as opposed to a fictional character?

SC: A fictional character leaves much more to the imagination in terms of the performance and development and backstory. One is complete invention, and the other is completely tethered to the real world. It’s not easier or harder to portray either. I’m really excited that David and Nic [are attending the premiere]. From time to time I would talk to David and ask, “How surreal does this feel to you?” There was one day we were doing a scene on the beach, and David and [his wife] Karen [Barbour] came to visit. It was a simple scene, nothing overly dramatic, but David was elated. He was so full of emotion. I could tell that it really hit him.

TG: What do you ultimately hope this movie communicates? What do you think the lasting impression will be?

FVG: It’s a harrowing story, but it’s a beautiful family. To see all of this happen in a family where there’s so much love and understanding makes it even more harrowing, maybe, but it’s a family that believes in unconditional love, and they use that as a way out.

TG: That’s a great note to end on. I do have one last question though, unrelated to the movie. Timothée, have you seen the Instagram account @chalametinart?

TC: Yes! [Laughs]

FVG: What is that?

TG: It’s an Instagram account where they photoshop Timothée into classic paintings.

FVG: Oh, yeah! Wasn’t there an account about just his hair, too?

SC: [Looking at @chalametinart on a phone] Oh, it’s beautiful. [To Timothée] Well, you have your selection of Christmas cards now. •

#wsj #timothee chalamet #steve carell #felix van groeningen #beautiful boy

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tchalametdaily · 6 years

Link

In ‘Beautiful Boy,’ the trio brings to life the true story of a father coping with his son’s addiction—and reckoning with the limits of paternal love.

(Full article under the cut)

“Oh, sure,” Carell says. “We wanted to honor the material, but we actually had a lot of fun, too. Because that’s part of life. Even within the darkest moments.”

Thomas Gebremedhin: This is a heartbreaking movie. How do you prepare for something like this?

TG: I want to touch on that father-son dynamic. The chemistry between you two is so apparent in the film. How do you create that connection off-camera?

SC: [Laughing] Felix doesn’t feel the same way.

TC: I was very soothed by Steve’s warmth and kindness—

SC: Keep going.

TG: What were the most challenging scenes for you to film?

TG: Right, there are several forks in the road for both David and Nic throughout the movie, but the scene that felt critical to me is when David has to establish some kind of boundary with Nic.

TG: Well, last year was the deadliest on record for overdoses.

TC: Yeah, more than car crashes.

TG: This isn’t a preachy film, but how do you hope it will play a part in that discussion?

TG: When you went back home to your families after a day on set, were you able to leave work at work?

TG: Did David and Nic give you all any advice?

FVG: But just in the authenticity and in the heart of it—we didn’t have an obligation to it. It’s not a biopic in that sense, and that’s an advantage, I guess.

TG: Steve, you’re also playing Donald Rumsfeld in Backseat and Mark Hogancamp in Marwen—what’s different about playing a real, living person as opposed to a fictional character?

TG: What do you ultimately hope this movie communicates? What do you think the lasting impression will be?

TG: That’s a great note to end on. I do have one last question though, unrelated to the movie. Timothée, have you seen the Instagram account @chalametinart?

TC: Yes! [Laughs]

FVG: What is that?

TG: It’s an Instagram account where they photoshop Timothée into classic paintings.

FVG: Oh, yeah! Wasn’t there an account about just his hair, too?

SC: [Looking at @chalametinart on a phone] Oh, it’s beautiful. [To Timothée] Well, you have your selection of Christmas cards now.

#timothée chalamet #timothee chalamet #steve carell #felix van groeningen #interview #wsj

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nebullura · 6 years

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a tgs au

i wrote this as a volunteer for an event, and i didn’t have much time to write it, so everything i thought for this, i wrote it down. overall, i am very proud of what i made, so i decided to share it with you guys !

here it goes !!

It was hard, to walk around town without having people staring at him: his skin color, his eyes, his clothes, his complexion and his way of walking. Everything that Lance was was different from common and normal. It always meant a challenge for him to even step out of his small home, which he shared with his siblings, whom from time to time seemed insufferable, but that he loved with all his might.

During night time, he’d usually go to a nearby bar, mainly to meet up with his lifelong friend, Hunk, who had been helping him to find a job, with no results.

“I can’t do much, besides offering you-” Hunk would start, with kind eyes and the flames of the bar dimly lighting his worried features, but Lance would always interrupt him.

“No, Hunk, I’m not accepting your money. I just can’t.” He’d simply say, hugging himself.

Some people wondered how they were even friends, when there was an incredibly big comparison between each other: you see, Hunk, despite his skin color, had been born in a wealthy family, giving him enough rights. Not Lance, though. There were just too much in his family: his younger siblings, plus Katie. Him being the eldest one had to get enough money for them to eat, and while Katie tried to also help him, he wouldn’t allow her, until her insistence was too much and he gave in.

Lance’s family, in few words, was not liked in town. Though, he loved them, and it didn’t matter if all of them were orphans. That was just the way it was.

┈

He took his old brown jacket and blew out most of the candles on their small house, ready to go out and meet Hunk, when he noticed Katie hadn’t been asleep. Lance frowned, turning towards the kids, counting them again- nothing. Katie was not there. Where could she be?

He noticed, then, movement near the kitchen, and when he reached the spot, there she way, tying her hair with a piece of cloth, and hiding the low tied ponytail under her own jacket.

“And may I know where are you going?” He asked her, folding his arms and narrowing his eyes. He knew, nevertheless, that Pidge was going to be hard to intimidate. Small did certainly not mean naive, specially in her case.

“With you, of course. You’ve been going out more and more at night, and I know you haven’t found a job yet.” She shot back, making Lance look away and dig his nails slightly in his arms. “But I can help you. Maybe I can go around asking people, and we might be lucky enough to get you a job!” She added, with a bright smile and walking to him.

Few would believe they liked each others, since they’d usually be teasing each other. But honestly? Lance was like a brother for Katie. After losing her brother, it had been expected, and so it happened.

Finally, he sighed, and unfolded his arms. “Don’t make a fool of yourself. And try not to show your hair.” He told her, tucking some strands under her jacket, while the girl silently celebrated.

And so, both of them went to meet Hunk.

┈

“A bar? You come to a bar?” She asked him, to which he shrugged.

“I have a friend, and he’s been trying to help out. Don’t judge me.” Lance replied, opening the door and walking through, leaving a dumbfounded Katie behind.

She was about to bite back when Lance smiled, having spotted Hunk, and sat besides him. The girl rolled her eyes and followed her friend.

“...Ah, so this must be K-” Hunk started, upon seeing her, but Katie cut him mid-sentence.

“Pidge. And you must be Lance’s friend, the one helping him find a job?” She asked him, and Hunk smiled.

“Hunk Garrett, at your service.” He answered, with a small nod, and returned to Lance, searching for something inside his jacket, while the other one asked for some drinks.

“Please tell me you found som-” Lance started, when Hunk placed the paper in the bar. Lance took it in his hands, reading it carefully. They were looking for people like him, misfits. Misfits to be, what, jokes? His brow furrowed when Katie took the paper from his hands and, upon reading what it said, her face brightened.

“This is the shot you need!” Hunk exclaimed, with a bright smile, and Katie nodded, fully agreeing with his offering, though Lance did not look as happy.

“But why? Are they planning on making us, ‘misfits’, the center of attention? And -oh, please- a circus?!” He shot back, not glad with the idea, not at all. Hearing this, Hunk’s smile dropped as did Katie’s, though from realization, she went to confusion. She slapped Lance’s head, who hissed and turned to her.

“This is the opportunity you were looking for. You asked for this, you prayed for this your whole life! Lance, you can help your siblings, with this. You can always back off from it, but please, give it a shot. For them.” She tried to convince him, with a serious tone and gleam in her eyes. Well, she was not wrong, Lance thought.

He made them wait in damned suspense, when he finally sighed, emptying his glass in one swing. “I’d better not regret joining this- this thing.” His sighed, while Hunk and Katie celebrated.

┈

There had to be an interview before he joined, and there were people of all kind there: a woman who could hold her breath for too long under the water; some hairy men; a lady with a green tint to her skin… many people were there, Lance realized, people who also tried to fit in somewhere, people who also wanted to find a purpose in their lives. Just like he did.

He was not alone, though. Katie had decided she was going to be with him, and she kept her word, quitting her current job to join this new offering alongside Lance.

And finally, they had reached the desk where the ringmaster was chatting to each one of them. This ringmaster, though, he seemed too giddy and happy for this project, not like a man he thought would want to take advantage of misfits. Yeah, he was white skinned, but he seemed kind. His hair was cut short, with only the top left as a disaster, with a small puff of white hair. His dark eyes seemed welcoming and his posture, though he was buff, was also soft.

“So, who are you?” The man asked them. And while Katie found it hard to reply -she seemed struck by something this man had, of showed-, Lance took the time to reply.

“Lance McClain, and this is my- she lives with me. Katie Holt.” He introduced themselves, and added, “We do trapeze.” He simply said. There was no great magic in what they did, but this only made the man lean closer and smile a bit more.

“And why should I welcome you? It’s just trapeze.” He said in return. Lance leaned closer as well, narrowing his eyes slightly.

“You’re looking for misfits, right? You’ve got here two orphans, one of them dark skinned. And I have much more things to add- but we can walk away, of course.” He replied, rather sassy, and stood up, motioning Katie to follow him, and already thinking this was a bad idea.

But the man only smiled brighter every time. “That’s what I’m looking for here. Welcome to the family!” He said, Lance turning, not believing what he had said. He just stood there, dumbfounded, and the man laughed. “Be here tomorrow, early in the morning. I’ll be waiting.” And he kept interviewing the rest, as Katie pulled him out of the old museum.

┈

And they were there the next morning. The man had introduced himself as Takashi Shirogane, a Japanese man who had come to the United States as a young boy, and have lived all his life there. He was married, and had, as a dream, to create this place to give others real smiles. That’s where his family of misfits came in.

And so, Lance grew to love the shows he and the others put up in the circus. Hunk had become a benefactor of the circus, and Katie, who now went by Pidge full time -she never told Lance why- had been enjoying hers and Lance’s trapeze routine.

He had heard that their routine had been mesmerizing most of the time: the way he and Ka- Pidge flew in the air, from trapeze to trapeze, connecting their hands and staying in sync at every moment.

What he had also heard, mostly from kids, was ‘how pretty were the flying people’s costumes’. Pidge had chosen green as her color, using shiny cloth to make her own costume, allowing her good movements and the ability to stretch how much she wanted. As for Lance, he had chosen blue as his color, different shades, soft and glimmering, to make an elegant leotard, with certain areas to show and to emphasize. Both of them, before each performance used makeup to call attention to their eyes, for example, or to their hair.

And Lance had loved every moment of it. To fly up there, to hear cheers, to listen to children admiring them… It was something he had never thought of having. Once, he had said that no one would ever accept him in society for his skin color. But now, even his siblings wanted to be a part of all of this. They had gotten more than what he could have given them once upon a time. And Lance was proud.

┈

It was time to pull up their act, now, as the rest danced. Pidge was on the other side of the building, up high just as he was. Her hair had green streaks, intense in the tips, and fading in. Her costume gleamed under the flames and lights, as did her freckles, which she had painted green and added sequins. His own leotard also shone metallic blue, and Lance could still feel fresh the blue pain he had used to decorate his face, as well as the weight of some small diamonds he had also added.

Every time, before he jumped off the safety of the building and into the trapeze, he could feel his heart hammering in his chest, his hands sweat, and his hair blow. But as soon as he heard their cue, and he and Pidge jumped off, his eyes would snap open and he would feel like the king of the world.

And it happened as well on that show.

The cue sounded, and he stepped off the ledge, immediately feeling light and swift, having the air hit his face, as well as his hair, also with blue streaks, which fluttered in his face. But he didn’t mind- no… He didn’t care, because he was doing what he loved.

Lance and Pidge did their routine, which they changed each week, making graceful figures in the air, with the help of the trapeze. It was like a drug to him, making him addicted to this feeling- He loved it.

At some point, he noticed that Shiro -the ringmaster had told them to call him that way- had never showed up, though Lance had shrugged it off. He had closed his eyes and smiled, concentrated on his routine, doing what he and Pidge had long memorized and did with such ease and beauty.

But, on one of those swings, he was able to see Shiro in the balcony below the one Pidge had jumped from, accompanied by a man, who seemed very similar to their ringmaster, though with long, black hair, and dark, purple eyes. Lance felt time freeze in that moment: he hung from his legs in the trapeze, so he could stare directly into those violet eyes, full of wonder and curiosity. They were gorgeous, and so was the man, he had to admit. His lips parted a bit, when he felt himself move again, and his mind returned to their routine, though Lance could hear, softly, yet intensely, the man speak.

“Who is he?”

┈

When the show ended, and Lance and Pidge had returned to holy ground, he could start feeling that ecstasy he always felt after a routine: his hands moved uncontrollable, and it took him few moments to calm down, before showing his face to the public again.

“It was amazing, Katie! D-did you see the public’s expressions?! They were bewildered! We- We must do something similar another day…” He decided, taking a navy pashmina he always wore with his leotard, and hung it in his neck, while the girl just shook her head, giggling.

“Pidge, please. And, I know.” She said, after taking her own pashmina, which was colored a soft green, and draped it in her arms.

As they were walking, Lance calmed, and with every step, he regained his composure. And at the base of the steps were the ringmaster and the man he had seen, both of them with their hats off and their suits slightly rumpled. Shiro, with his ever-present man, made a motion, as for Lance and Pidge to come to them.

“Guys, this is Keith Kogane, and old friend of mine. He will be working with us from now on.” He said, allowing them three to start talking. Though Pidge seemed to be glaring at the man- Keith, while he kept staring at Lance. He didn’t know if he should take this as a rude demonstration, or if Keith was just curious or -he liked this one- surprised and out of breath.

“So what’s your act, Keith?” Lance asked, folding his arms and smirking slightly. If he was going to walk into his home, he’d better be surprising.

The young man stammered, finally replying. “I… don’t have an act.” He simply said, his eyes glued on Lance, who chuckled softly and looked defiantly at him, as if daring him to say something else, though when Keith stayed quiet, he placed a hand over his hip, not afraid to show his sassy attitude. “Everyone’s got an act, hot-shot.” He responded, and walked off, his head held high, proud, and already feeling Pidge’s glare still on Keith.

He slowed down a bit, allowing the girl to catch up with him, and as soon as they were together again, Pidge visibly scoffed. “Who is he? He seems to be one of those rich guys around town, wasting money in nothing…” She said, with a dark shadow over her eyes, though Lance could only laugh.

“Y’know, come to think of it, I believe I have heard of him before. Son of some very famous business people, with an absent mother and a gone father, their fortune passed down to him.” He said, turning his head back to look at the Asian men, only to find out that Keith still was looking at him. Goddamn him- Lance returned to Pidge, trying to hide his blush. “But who knows- he might be good for the family.” He decided, and both of them retreated to their rooms.

#vld #vld fic #fic #vld ficlet #ficlet #vld mini fic #mini fic #j's work #tgs au #klance #keith #lance #lance pov #if yall would like to see more let me know !!#queueznak

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landofsomethingsomething · 6 years

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ooo how about john trying to pull a prank on roxy but she either catches him in the act or pranks him back since shes been bffsies with jane for years and nothing surprises her anymore

Roxy woke to the sound of her phone buzzing incessantly on the nightstand. Half awake and grumbling to herself, she flipped over onto her back, reached blindly out with one arm, and flopped her hand around like a dying fish until it connected with something hard and square and probably her phone. Somewhere nearby her on the bed, an indignant cat meowed a rebuke, and there was a distinct thud as the jostled animal fled. Roxy called out an apology to the affronted cat and simultaneously unlocked her phone with a quick swipe, held it up before her squinting eyes, and frowned.

One notification, from John. A simple text containing one ominous emoji: 🎭.

So. It was gonna be that kind of day, then.

She didn’t bother to reply, but she did open it up so it’d mark as read on his end. Stew in that one for awhile, Egbert. She tossed her phone beside her on the bed, sat up, and stretched. Let’s do this, she thought, grinning. Another cat peered in from the bedroom door, green eyes blinking slowly. Roxy blinked slowly back.

Phase one was easy; bedroom to bathroom. She kicked off the covers and swung her legs over the bed – and hopped lightly over the waiting tub of sopor slime plunked down on the floor, right where she’d normally be standing. No sweat. She took three steps toward the bathroom, ducked without even bothering to look, and easily cleared a roll of transparent plastic wrap fastened expertly between her vanity mirror and an old wizard clock taller than she was. Her favorite slippers (cats, of course) were discarded on the bathroom floor, kicked off before bed last night, and she bent and picked them up and carefully shook them out one by one.

Nothing. She frowned, quirking an eyebrow. Bullshit.

She felt around the plush soles, and – “Hah!” A telltale square chip, slid into the padding. She fished it out with a finger, shaking her head. “Got you,” she muttered, peering curiously at it. She pressed it between her fingers just to see what it would do.

The answer, apparently, was emit a pressure-trigged garbled tinny mishmash of meowing sounds through a miniscule speaker. Perfect. Laughing, she pocketed the device and continued to the toilet. Seat down. Suspicious. Behind her, a cat pranced into the room, eagerly anticipating its early morning toilet scritches.

She went to one knee. With one hand, she gave the confused kitty the scritches it had come for, and with the other, she lifted the toilet seat, cringing back – but nothing happened. She examined every inch of the porcelain throne and found absolutely nothing, and in fact, was about to just go ahead and do her damn business already, when she thought to check the fucking toilet paper.

Tinfoil. Not a tinfoil covered roll of toilet paper, oh no. Just a goddamn toilet paper shaped roll of tinfoil. She snorted. Went to the cabinet to pull a fresh one out. Found six more tinfoil toilet papers. Muttered a few choice oaths under her breath.

Whatever. Who didn’t piss in the shower every once in awhile? He’d love hearing all about it, next time he was over in the morning. She pulled the tinfoil roll still up by the toilet out a bit and crinkled it, and Mr. Morning Bathroom Scritches happily took the bait, pawing at it.

To the shower. She saw the device on the head plainly – he didn’t even try to hide it. Curious, she turned the water on just to see what would happen.

Pink water shot out. Food dye? Probably. The little bastard had probably filled her hair shit with it, too. It was almost tempting to just use it – who had a problem with pink hair? But the truth was, she didn’t trust John’s choice of dye material. Besides, this shit was meant to turn all of her pink, obviously, not just the hair.

– Actually, she was kind of tempted to just let that happen, too.

Maybe later.

She disabled the food coloring (or whatever) device and took a quick shower – and a long piss – and remembered at the last second to check the towels before yanking one off the rack.

She lifted the edge of one, gingerly.

It stained her fingertips pink.

She laughed.

The towel itself was already pink, of course, that was its natural state… all the easier to hide whatever the fuck this pink powder was all over it. And they were all like that, of course. Naturally.

She stood in front of the mirror and resolved to air dry. It wasn’t that cold, anyway. Nothing in the hairbrush, but the blow dryer had what looked like the dessicated remains of a feather duster shoved up the barrel, so she set that down for another day. She’d make his enterprising ass pick them all out, later. Only fair.

Back out and back under the wall of cellophane, and off to face the wardrobe.

As it turned out, all her clothes were gone. Except her favorite dress. Which also happened to be his favorite dress. Which was a damn good dress, for like, a date. Not that it was horribly indecent – John wasn’t that kind of guy, which was usually charming – it was just, you know. Sequins. Ruffles. Showy.

“I guess,” she said, pulling it off the hanger, “In Egbert land, prank day counts as a special occasion.”

Another cat wound itself around her ankles, purring agreement.

By the time she retrieved her phone, she had three more messages. Two were from John – the same emoji as before, but in greater numbers – and the third was Jane. Roxy opened that one eagerly.

GG: Miss Roxy. GG: Might I inquire why, on this lovely spring morning, all of the clothing in my closet has been joined by what I can only describe as the most Roxy-like attire I have ever seen? TG: i would invite uTG: on this lovely spring morningTG: to ask ur fuckin son about that cause i guarantee you at this point he knows more than me GG: Oh my. GG: Prank day? TG: he was gonna turn me pink janeTG: pink from head to toeTG: pink dye pink powder and also he put a meow speaker in my meowcat slippersTG: might keep that one tbhTG: its p cuteGG: I gather from your phrasing that his dastardly efforts have been thus far unsuccessful. TG: hmmTG: actually not sure if i can trust you on thisGG: Roxy! TG: prank day is kind of an egbert AND crocker thing and u know thisGG: I cannot believe you would accuse me, your best friend, of collaborating with John to turn you pink. TG: the clothes ARE in your wardrobe apparentlyGG: And if I was in on this, why would I tell you so? TG: fuckTG: uhhhTG: idk but im sure theres a reasonTG: plots within plotsTG: wheels within wheelsTG: cats within catsTG: sec i gotta scritch a cat right fuckin nowGG: Of course. GG: Well. Since I am apparently suspect, I shall leave you to face your trials in peace. Please pick up these clothes in at least a halfway timely fashion, if you please. Closet space is an asset to be cherished, thank you very much. TG: pfft TG: u got like 15 closets all to yourself dont give me thatGG: Even so. TG: alright okayTG: if i survive this ill be by later maybeTG: maybe tomorrowTG: depends ;)GG: Not another word. GG: Tomorrow will be fine. Thank you. GG: And remember what I taught you. TG: he aint got me yetGG: Good.

She pocketed her phone, checked her shoes five times for hidden gimmicks, found nothing, and sidestepped three buckets of glitter assembled above three separate doorways on her way out. He’d be cleaning all that up later, too, along with any cats who happened to inadvertently roll around in the glitter piles.

… After she took pictures.

The front door seemed strangely bereft of mischievous devices, and having found nothing, it was with some trepidation that she turned the knob and pushed the door open, squinting out into the daylight.

A series of loud pops and flashes nearly blinded her, as apparently an entire newsroom’s worth of photographers got to work snapping pictures. She recovered herself quickly – of course she did – and turned the arm she’d thrown up over her eyes into a dramatic wave, instead, swaying her hips as she descended the steps. The effect, she thought, was only magnified by the entourage of bounding cats spilling out around her.

“Are you serious!” John’s voice in the crowd, and then John himself, hovering up above it, arms crossed. “Not a single one?”

She waved her phone at him. “Not a one, and Janey’s already spilled the beans on where the clothes are, so you don’t even get to lord that one over me this time around.”

The cameras weren’t stopping – probably because the two of them were famous gods and the tabloids fuckin’ loved them, but whatever. She leapt up into the air and lunged after John, who made a not very sincere attempt to lunge away, only to be yanked back by Roxy’s fist bunched up in the back of his shirt. She spun him around in the air, laughing.

“What’s with all the pink, anyhow?” She elbowed him, and he caught her arm, trapping it in his. “First Jake with the blue, now you with the pink, is this kinda fetish a genetic thing I should know about?”

He wrinkled his nose – it was fucking adorable, actually – and stuck his tongue out at her. “It’s not like that,” he insisted. He was lifting her higher, high enough that the sound of the cameras was fading off into nothing. The boy did love to fly. She followed him up, smirking. “I was trying to pick something obnoxious, that you would hate, but also that you would secretly kind of like.”

“Pink kinda is my color,” she conceded.

“Exactly!”

“I liked the slippers.” She slipped the chip out of her pocket, holding it up. John laughed.

“Dirk made that just for you,” he said. “He said you’d find it, though. Guess he was right.”

She pressed the panel down and the tiny speaker erupted in heavily compressed meow-sounds, mingling with the wind. They were far, far up, now, with damp little wispy cloud trails swirling around them. “Hells of cute,” she said, waving it under his nose. He laughed and slipped an arm around her and shot up through the clouds, pulling her with him. It should have been cold up here, especially in the damn dress she was wearing, but godhood came with a number of pretty good perks.

“Tell you what,” she said, grinning, and he looked back at her curiously, eyebrows shooting up. “One day I’m gonna get you so good, you never try any of this prank day shit on me again.”

He scoffed at her. “Yeah right. That’s what they all say.”

She stopped cold in the air, and he drifted to a stop a few seconds later, looking down at her, hands on his hips. Curls of cloud stuff danced between them. Roxy grinned devlishly at him, darted forward, and –

“Hey!” John gasped, as she shot past and grabbed his legs, turning him over in the air. He reached up to grab her, missed, and she worked his shoes off with ease. “Knock it off!” He kicked at her, socked feet far too slow to actually connect, and she laughed a wild laugh and shoved him forward, somersaulting him in the air. “This is not a prank!” he insisted, righting himself and huffing at her, cheeks red. “It doesn’t count! Give me back those shoes.”

“Not a chance,” she said, sweetly, dropping them. He gasped, and predicably, he dove for them. Simultaneously, Roxy dove for him.

She caught him by the waistband as he went darting by, and momentum did the rest. He made an absolutely hilarious yelping sound, gave up on catching his shoes, and spun upward to witness her hovering above him, waving his pants in one hand like a flag.

“Roxy!” He shouted, flushing crimson. “Give those back, come on! This is not how pranking works!”

“Says you,” Roxy said, blowing him a kiss. “See you later! And remember: I love you very much.”

“Roxy, wait –”

He shot for her, but she was already gone, pants in hand, in a rush of wind and void. She laughed uproariously as the blue and white folded around her and changed abruptly to starry black.

Sucker.

#roxy lalonde #john egbert #jane crocker #roxygen #johnroxy #text #asks #op #Anonymous #ficlet

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lottesseenaghoul · 6 years

Text

RE:169 quick thoughts before I go into rabbit hole of tg posts on tumbler (edited)

So I was expecting the scans to come out on Thursday but was surprised to see some fresh panels in the uta tag and FLIPPED.jpeg at my behavioural economics lecture. Honestly not the best place for getting a nosebleed xdd

Anyways here are some of hot takes I got from reading the chapter. More nuanced meta probably on its way. I read it on mangastream and I did screenshots there.

The chapter starts with the first part of Uta’s tattoo quote and ends with the second part, forming a sort of narrative framework to read it.

We jump straight into the fray, with contrasting shots of Yomo’s damn fine looking face and Uta’s there as well, clearly guided by very basic thinking and mostly intuitive, emotional impulses:

Like this is typical, stereotypical “unhinged” face people do in mangas. A mix of enthusiasm and bloodlust, it says this guy went “insane”. Ugh. Uta’s mental health warrants a LOT of unpacking nevertheless so let’s leave this face’ implications for later.

We glimpse their fight styles then:

Uta is on the offensive, honestly his is such forceful, visceral way of attacking here - straight up fuck up your opponent with the sheer force of your blow. He is shown to be a lot more nuanced and deliberate in previous fights, steering clear from attacking and content with evading the blows, dealing some psychological damage afterwards. But that is Uta just half-assedly toying - clearly he doesn’t stop himself with Yomo. The reasons can be manifold - that’s how they’ve always done it; he’s so pumped, he stops thinking and loses himself in pure bloodlust; he’s in a serious crisis - this is my preferred angle.

Now his fighting style, besides the raw strength behind it, is also quick and agile. In a second Uta gets behind Yomo, and tries to strike through his body mid-air. His face looks like this:

Very unstable.

Uta’s pupils are incredibly large here - again, a visual reminder how little conscious control he might have in this situation. OR how vicious his intents are.

My impression is that when he’s led by such murderous motivation (whatever its composing parts), Uta moves intuitively, we don’t see him playing around or allowing to be struck. Here he has the initiative but Yomo can so far fend off or otherwise deal with his attacks.

I’m honestly so thirsty for Yomo in this chapter, just look at this fine motherfucker:

{I’m interjecting to thank my lord satan for my pan-shipping, slutty heart because now UtaRen became another ship I love. Add in some Itori and you have another one. This one just keeps on giving <3}

Also Uta is so messy here, my baby all playful like a rabid hyena.

Despite all the refinements older Uta keeps about himself (suave clothing, neat hair, designer mask studio, antiques in glass cases, chess), he didn’t seem to have done much growing up, emotionally. Donato comments on it like that:

You just gotta love the fact that for most of the manga Uta keeps the facade of actually being the least reckless of the ghouls. But I trust Donato on this, who seems to know Uta’s darker impulses fairly well. Possibly better than Yomo and that dude got his fair of beating from Uta too.

What got me interested is how Amon had commented how pointless Clowns endeavours were. Initially I thought it’s Donato who said it, but later on he tells Amon that he would soon understand...

Oh Amon looks fine AF too. Be still my slutty heart!

Furuta says something possibly pivotal for the incoming plot arc:

(IDK wtf this is, but if even Furuta comments on it as if he was both grossed out/scared, it must be important. Oh, he meets Kaneki too, no biggie. “That’s just freaky!!”, I love you Nimura)

Back to my boys, Yomo is getting beat up but mostly evades Uta’s attacks and looks more and more pissed. Uta just looks like a dumbass. Or rather as stupid as cats who torture smaller critters for fun and recreation do:

Also we get a glimpse of his kagune. It seems to be very elastic, easily changing shapes as Uta sees fit. It was just this gigantic mass of RC cells in the beginning panels, now it’s much more resembling the spider legs en masse that we remember from his fight with Juuzou:

But what is most important here, we finally get the first shot of Itori. She is wearing a mask in the beginning, and it’s important in context of what Uta will be saying shortly: edit: It’s Itori speaking, thoughts on that in a different post.

She’s an observer in that panel, very significantly voiceless, not shown to be nearly as amused as Nico here:

Uta’s Itori’s words are honestly a key to Clown’s philosophy and deserve a meta of its own. [In the beginning I thought these were Itori’s words, especially after I saw “Kanekichi” being mentioned; it’s how she had referred to Kaneki before.] - no wonder, it was my brain’s way to remind me I was far too concentrated on Uta to consider the awesomest queen Itori :/

Uta Itori says something very interesting here:

Obviously, if he were to be an OEK, first or the second one, that would be right up the alley. But even if not, it hints at very interesting possibilities. I want to see Ishida expand on it in some flashbacks.

The most important words are coupled with shots of Itori slowly taking her mask off. It has a very dramatic effect.

Theres a heck ton to unpack here. Honestly I would never think Uta would look at his value system from that particular angle. Edit - and he wouldn’t because he is currently in the midst of a mayor meltdown. It’s Itori who actually bothers with explaining.

He She refers to the coldness of their existence as ghouls, of how senseless it is - like a vast, cold void stretching infintiely in front of them.

Uta’s ways of searching for warmth are probably the only ones somebody as uprooted as him could come up with - he sees drawing blood, wounding (but also getting wounded - Uta seems to have a very laissez faire attitude to him perishing eventually as we remember from his talk with Donato).

According to Uta Itori, Yomo is the warm one. For him her, it’s via bloodletting that he can get closer to taste it. Edit Uta def seconds that in the panels to come with his own actions

I still think there’s some theatrics involved in this speech, as the next panel shows....

God, way to make your opponent unsuspecting of your next move Uta.

And we get another important shot of Itori. She’s clearly positioned as somewhat stradling the line between Uta and Yomo but this series consistently shows her as being closer to Uta nevertheless.

Her eyes are shining so bright here, it’s clear she’s in deep thought and possibly a bit torn apart with what’s happening here. What Uta says clearly strikes a cord but her taking the mask off, idk it may signal some important differences between her and Uta’s worldview. That or it’s a sign she identifies with his words deeply. Edit ditto, these are her words and the scene took entirely different meaning and made me Love Itori, the first time since reading the series.

Honestly Uta is just beginning tho, as he has some creepy words about dreaming of the day where he would get his hands stained with Yomo’s blood. He actually left Yomo on the ground to have this mini speech properly. He’s posturing as far as my impressions go - Uta reverts to his younger persona, sans earlier sentiments of not wanting to cut his fun short by killing the only one ghoul who could match him somewhat.

The most important thing in this chapter is what Yomo says next...

Here Uta is, going off about his strange blood kink and Yomo goes all shonen manga on him. But it’s not the same shonen posturing he did in previous chapter. We don’t see his eyes - we see Uta’s and that dude is honestly #shook.

Naturally he reacts in ways only Ishida can think of. Honestly how Yomo’s words are literally drowned out by Uta’s uncontrollable and histerical laughter is such a masterful move:

This is the guy who dug up Ren from the ground because he was his “friend”. Now he’s just a mouth apparently.

Idk but this seems like the key panel for analyzing Uta from psychological angle. This dude most pronounced feature is his mouth which is nothing like human’s or ghoul alike. It’s like he’s truly the chaotic trickster god with none of the sentiments he was hinted to possess.

I was talking with @gaiajulz and I love how she pointed out that it seems like Uta is actually drowning out Yomo’s heartfelt words and he isn’t even fully aware he’s doing it. With Uta’s firm worldview, he’d rather go full crisis-mode instead of acknowledging how vulnerable and in need of closeness he is.

Honestly Uta is soo Washuu-like in this panel, like Furuta’s older brother or something. First screech like a Cthulu monster and then do a little happy dance!

What’s important is how Uta links what he sees as Yomo’s nivete with his emotional honesty and lack of any hidden agendas. Yomo is pure and good and this is why he is naive enough to trust a world like this. Uta saw so many sides to it, he literally sees no other option than to play the fool, including fooling around with one of the precious few of potentially close people in his life.

I also think he kind of looks like crying? From laughing so hard maybe.

The chapter ends with my baby going full kakuja (predictably it’s his shifty face that’s the most inhuman part here, just a mass of flesh) and this flirty words:

Renji seems so shocked, it’s possible he had never seen this form. Either way he’s speechless.

And Uta’s philosophy is hinted at again - he’s willing to trample his friend just to feel anything.

What we are dearly in need of is some good meta on Uta’s mental health, how his values feature into it and how his own actions contribute to it unraveling. Obviously such speculations are about as scientific as psych profiling but I feel it would be very important to try and understand this character better.

And boy, is there a lot to unpack here...

Edit - crossed the parts where it’s suggested it’s Uta who summarizes Clown’s philosophy. It’s Itori and I don’t get my brain could hint at the discrepancies in my own thinking but not make the definite link. Gotta love that sweet ADHD folks.

#uta #tg #tgre #tgre spoilers #tg theories #tg meta #tg theory #yomo renji

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mad-love-for-musicals · 6 years

Text

Tag Game

I was tagged by @freakygirlsworld thanks love❤️

last

1. drink - hazelnut coffee 2. phone call - i think it was my grandma? 3. text message - lmao so it was to one of my middle school teachers and it said “wait what the hell? seriously?” angsty, I know lol 4. song you listened to - Found Tonight by Ben Platt and Lin-Manuel Miranda (seriously so good check it out if you haven’t) 5. time you cried - Monday I think

ever 6. dated someone twice? - Yeaaahhh and it was dumb 7. kissed someone and regretted it - Uh definitely 8. been cheated on - Yeah that sucked too 9. lost someone special - Yeah I for sure have. Several people. 10. been depressed - Yeah that tends to happen when you have clinical depression. Weird concept, I know. 11. gotten drunk and thrown up - You know. I’d like to say no. Normally I can handle my alcohol, however I learned that when you chug like 4 different kinds of alcohol within a short amount of time your body doesn’t like that. Yeah learned my lesson there. At least college taught me something amiright?

fave colours 12. Purple 13. Blue 14. Grey

in the last year have you… 15. made new friends - Yeah for sure 16. fallen out of love - Oh yeah. 17. laughed until you cried - Several times haha 18. found out someone was talking about you - Bruh I swear two faced bitches are everywhere. So this is a f a t yes. 19. met someone who changed you - Most of the people I have met this year have changed me and my outlook on life in some way. 20. found out who your friends are - This one has been unfortunately all too real. It’s sucked but in the end I’m glad I’m learning who’s really here for me and who’s not. 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - Lmao nooo

general 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - Basically all of them except maybe like a handful 23. do you have any pets - Yesss. My baby boi Teddy. He’s a 3 year old teddy bear puppy. So just a wonderful little ball of fluff. He’s my child and I love him with all my heart. 24. do you want to change your name - I used to want to. Because like I used to think the name Ciera was such trash because the only nickname/way to shorten it was C and no one wanted to do that so like. I was biter. But now I’m actually pretty okay with the name. So the only way my name is getting changed is if a miracle happens and I somehow get married. 25. what did you do for your last birthday- My family threw a small pizza party for me at a local bar in our town. Which was rigged because since I’m not at the legal age to consume alcohol they got a round of free drinks since it was my birthday and I sat there drinking a soda. They thought it was the funniest thing in the world. But it was cool having my aunts and uncles and cousins together at a time other than a holiday. So that was legit. 26. what time did you wake up today - Lmao ya’ll coming for me here... like 12pm... I have no defense, I just like sleep. 27. what were you doing at midnight last night - Pretending to study math while actually learning the lyrics to Hamilton (my current obsession along with tgs and Dear Evan Hansen). 28. what is something you cant wait for - This school year to be over because ya girl is stressed af. But also waiting for my DVD copy of tgs. 30. what are you listening to right now- Right Hand Man from Hamilton 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - I know two people named Tom actually! The first Tom I know is a really good friend of my aunt and uncle and he’s just a happy drunk man. I enjoy him. He’s cool. The other Tom I know was a family friend of a family that I went camping this year. We both had been drinking and this Tom guy and I had a really intense conversation about depression and anxiety around a fire and it was rad. Tom was talking about how it was bullshit that society doesn’t talk about it much and how he just got diagnosed with anxiety and shit. 32. something that’s getting on your nerves - Everything lmao. Nah I’m kidding. Um it gets on my nerves when people make fun of someone for loving something. Like don’t give me shit for finding something that makes me happy you piece of shit. i don’t care if you don’t like it or think it’s dumb, i love it so go away. Sorry that got too angsty lmao 33. most visited website - Either Tumblr or YouTube. 34. hair colour - Dark brown (almost black but not quite there) 35. long or short hair - Short hair. Pixie cuts for days bois 36. do you have a crush on someone - Yeah see I don’t really know. maybe? not really? I don’t know. feelings are confusing guys. 37. what do you like about yourself - My eyes. They’re pretty rad. 38. want any piercings? - I used to want to get my lip pierced but I’m less emo now so like probably not. 39. blood type - Lmao I feel like actual trash for not knowing this?? But yeah no clue sorry lol 40. nicknames - I’m lame and my name is stupid so the only thing I got is C. 41. relationship status - Single af. In the odd shot that any of you lovely people wanna change that my inbox is open lmfao I’m so sad ignore that 42. zodiac - Scorpio ;) 43. pronouns - She/her 44. fave tv shows - House MD, NCIS, Supernatural, Once Upon a Time, yeah I’m sure there are a bunch more but I can’t think right now 45. tattoos - I have one but want more. I have one on my collarbone area that says “Inhale the future exhale the past” with some birds 46. right or left handed - Right 47. ever had surgery - No and I’m thankful because the concept of it scares the hell out of me lol 48. piercings - I’ve had my ears pierced like twice but I let the holes close both times. just not my scene 49. sport - My favorite sport to watch is probably football or hockey but my favorite sport to play is softball. 50. vacation - My favorite vacation I’ve ever been on was a cruise to the Bahamas. My dream vacation would be Australia and New Zealand. 51. trainers - Wot? I’m confused lol

more general 52. eating - I don’t eat consistently. Like I’m terrible. I usually only eat once a day? 53. drinking - I drink a lot. like I’m always thirsty af 54. i’m about to watch - Probably The Greatest Showman tbh 55. waiting for - My friends to come online because I’m bored 56. want - To see a Broadway production 57. get married - Eventually I’m hoping to 58. career - Yeah I really don’t know what I want to do with my life right now but I’m leaning towards teaching for a number of reasons.

which is better 59. hugs or kisses - Hugs are you kidding me. They’re the best. 60. lips or eyes - Eyes all the way. 61. shorter or taller - Taller 62. older or younger - Lmao is that even a question? Older. 63. nice arms or stomach - Nice arms for sure. 64. hookup or relationship - Relationship. Don’t come at me with a hookup dude I’m too emotional for that shit. 65. troublemaker or hesitant - Depends on the situation but in all honesty more hesitant

have you ever 66. kissed a stranger - Nope 67. drank hard liquor - Lmao.. umm... yeah 68. lost glasses - Yeah and it was terrible because do you know how hard it is to look for something when you’re like blind?? 69. turned someone down - Yeah like once or twice. 70. sex on first date - Nah bro. 71. broken someones heart - Yeah unfortunately 72. had your heart broken - Oh yeah for sure.. 73. been arrested - Nope 74. cried when someone died - Uh yeah of course. 75. fallen for a friend - Lmao dude it’s like my specialty.

do you believe in... 76. yourself - Not really. Not as much as I should. 77. miracles - Maybe. Depends on the situation I guess. 78. love at first sight - Again.. Maybe. 79. santa claus - Lol no. that magic was taken away from me. 80. kiss on a first date- Hey if it feels right who am I to stop it 81. angels - I believe that people who die watch over you but I don’t believe in the things with the wings and harps and stuff. 82. best friend’s name - Talia <3 83. eye colour - Hazel 84. fave movie - I can’t pick one don’t do this.. The Greatest Showman, Logan, The Breakfast Club, The Prestige, and Dead Poet’s Society 85. fave actor - Is this even a question? HUGH JACKMAN. HANDS DOWN. ALL THE WAY. HUGH. MF. JACKMAN.

Lmao sorry this is so long. Oops.

I’m tagging: @three-wishes-not-granted @rewritting-the-stars @no-more-living-in-the-shadows @thegreatestjxckman @teasockschocolate

#tag game #get to know me #ciera does tags

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coromoor · 7 years

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TG movie comments

So last night I dragged along my cousin (who knows absolutely nothing about TG) to watch the live action movie and I just wanted to ramble on about a few things, including some of my cousin’s comments from someone who isn’t already a fan :)

I absolutely loved the movie! There were so many little details for manga readers to pick up on, but they weren’t presented in a way which would detract from the experience of someone who was new to the series. My cousin really liked it too, enough that she wanted to watch the anime afterwards to see how it compared, so I guess it hit the goal of what a live action should do; appease established fans of the story and draw in new viewers to seek out the manga/anime to get more of the story!

The casting was amazing all round. When we watched the anime, and could compare the characters between the two mediums, Cousin mentioned how spot on they were. Even flipping through my manga to a page with Yomo, she picked him out which i was surprised about considering the different hair colour and age. I think it’s probably because the actor was really spot on with Yomo’s -__- expression!

Kaneki on the date with Rize was SO AWKWARD, painfully so. I was getting so much secondhand embarrassment from him :’D Comparing to the anime, Cousin mentioned that too- how he wasn’t as awkward in there. It was cute though! I get the feeling to someone who doesn’t know his character, he would have come across as a bit creepy rather than endearing though hahaha

There were a few scenes which were cut out/changed for necessity but so many small details were kept the same (insignificant things like Kaneki guzzling milk out his fridge which I was oddly touched that it was kept in haha)

Probably one of the only things, they cut out Kaneki calling Touka a monster after he asked for her help in the alleyway which I thought kind of diluted down her reason for why she was so salty at him. But at the same time, they did add a few gentler moments from Touka to balance it out (gotta get that tsun to dere ratio just right ;D)

Like I had suspected from one of the stills, Touka scooped out a handful of cake from the garbage and threw it at Kaneki during her “tell me, what does cake taste like?” spiel and it made me cackle thinking of the cake throwback at their wedding

HAJIME MADE A CAMEO AND I WANTED TO SEND HIM TO TIME OUT IMMEDIATELY

Ryouko’s death was so sad, and just before the end, they made everything very still and silent as she turned to Hinami and locked eyes with her

Like the anime, the movie used Kaneki hallucinating Rize to show his inner conflict. He’d look in the mirror and see her reflection instead- it was really cool.

Funny Kaneki and Touka moment; when Yoshimura first took Kaneki into Anteiku and served him coffee, there was a really touching moment when Kaneki realised he could drink it and he started crying, there was emotional music that tugged at your heart strings.... and then Touka ruined it with “Don’t cry, dumbass” TOUKA PLZ. In the last scene of the movie, everyone was back to working at Anteiku- peaceful and happy- and Kaneki got emotional again and started getting teary. Touka again: “Don’t cry dumbass” but this time with a little smirk and Kaneki smiled too. It was real cute.

This scene was done spot on with her kagune and everything- I got so emotional

That’s not the only scene that was almost a direct adaptation of the manga. They tended to do that in more important moments- have a camera shot directly out of the manga

Seeing the “Hinami, I think your Mother was trying to tell you to live” part was also sad considering whats going on in the manga right now- probably the worst week to be having Hinami feels in the movie ToT

The movie made Kusaba real cute and likable. His actor was a perfect fit. It worked well to make you invested in his character and make an impact with his death.

The training montage with Touka and Kaneki was AMAZING. It switched back and forth between them fighting in the dark dirty underground and Amon training in the pristine CCG facilities. In one part, Kaneki finally got a hit on Touka and went over to her like “I’m sorry Touka-chan!!! are you--” at which point she got him back with a kick :’D

Hide was cute af, no surprises- his energy was a welcome contrast to Kaneki’s quietness

Nishiki was GREAT too, I don’t know what sorcery it is but Nishiki is spot on in every single adaptation

There was the COOLEST moment after Kaneki was about to eat Hide- Touka and Yomo showed up and they were so badass standing there at the door and activating their kakugan at the same time

Another cute moment, Hinami asked Touka what a word in her book was and she had a look like “ahhhhh..ummmm...” then nodded Kaneki to help her instead. When he explained, Touka reckons “yes that’s what it is” to which SAVAGE Hina replies with “you didn’t know it either”. Touka got mad at Kaneki for laughing before joining in with the giggles and it was cute af

Sen Takatsuki’s books were SO COOL, the covers were spot on and Kaneki had them all in a stack in his room

At one stage, when Kaneki started hallucinating Rize, the camera panned up to the ceiling with the shadow of a centipede and its scuttling legs. It was a nod to Kafka’s Metamorphosis which was one of those cool details that were there for manga readers.

Speaking of Rize- the scene where she attacks him on their date was creepy af, it was good shit

After Mado was killed, they had the scene with Touka leaning on Kaneki and Yomo piggybacking Hinami and it was very nostalgic ToT

It was super gory- I like gore but I’m not very good at it so both me and my cousin were both turning our heads away all the time :’D I’d sneak a peek at her sometimes and see the most horrified look on her face, it was hilarious. A few times I knew something was coming up so I’d cover her eyes for her hahaha SO MUCH BLOOD HOLY SHIT like ... everywhere

Hinami asked Kaneki about the quote “the bird fights its way out of the egg, the egg is the world, who would be born must first destroy a world” and he demonstrated by cracking an egg and it was cute af- the relationship between Kaneki and Hinami was really sweet

An interesting change was when Touka wanted to go kill the investigators to protect Hinami- instead of Yoshimura being against it, Yomo stopped her and told her off but let her go off after a nod from Yoshimura. It made it seem like he was ok with what she was doing.

#tg movie #tg movie spoilers #wow that got longer than i expected #oops :'D #lots of detailed spoilers

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actually--olivia · 4 years

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15 January 2020

Day five: wear comfy shoes

Captain’s log:

5 days since being held by an Angel

Baby —

I am in Baton Rouge, LA and loving every minute of it save the moments I remember that my heart is in another time zone. Before I drift off to sleep in a few minutes, I will be holding your Rockets sweater loosely in my fists and burrowing deeper into these blankets. We are very dramatic, aren’t we? I miss you somehow worse now, I think because there is so much beauty and culture and newness around me that I want to experience with you.

The geography professors kind of just dipped after we got to the Baton Rouge airport, and I was somehow elected leader of the group at large. I must admit, I rather like the responsibility of caring for others. We had a small fiasco with taxi cabs but eventually made it to our picturesque AirBNB, located in Spanishtown near the newly-inaugurated governor’s mansion. I already love the people with whom I’m traveling and the opportunity to learn from this place, which right now has beads hanging from every tree in preparation for Mardi Gras and flamingo paraphernalia (still a mystery) staked in front of every house. There is live oak and palmetto in this neighborhood, along with many other species I have not identified yet but from which I have collected samples.

We ate at a cute ass locally owned Spanishtown market and waited while two poor employees ready for a slow evening served 16 of us. I got the shrimp po’boy and was not disappointed in the least. We played with the shop cat, Tails, and shot the shit until drinking games at home. Did you know that a “Brass Monkey” is orange juice and beer? It doesn’t taste half bad if the beer is pale.

From Irish Poker to Cheers to the Governor, it gets a little hazy after that. I think we ran through a fountain and explored the LSU campus (everyone’s obsessed with them winning some sort of sport championship?? Idk if it isn’t women’s soccer or your volleyball stuff, I’m not payin attention) and saw some fool ass sculptures. We walked a LOT.

But I remember most vividly sitting down by the river and thinking of you. We scaled this man made levee that the city chose to make interactive by carving large-scale steps across and sat by the Mississippi, listening to LSD by Jamila Woods and thinking about all the places the river had been — would go.

It was a spiritual experience for me, sitting near the water and noticing the peaceful flow of the river. I remember thinking of you on the receiving end of the Gulf Stream waters and about the way we flow together, about how different my today would be if we — if our lives never flowed in the same direction. I stopped myself before I could get too lost in thinking about multiverses. In this universe, I get the girl. And she gets me, too. All of me.

Tomorrow, we meet for crepes before heading to the Water Institute, and I have already preemptively set my alarm clock for 6 hours from now because I’m refusing to let travel get in the way of my fitness schedule. It is a balmy 78-80 degrees here and I wonder if I will ever get to name these trees with the familiarity I do at home. A friend from AmeriCorps, Lauren Clapp, will be in New Orleans this weekend, and I am keen to discuss my application with her. Wish me luck!

I will see you again tomorrow. I hope wherever you are, you’re thinkin of me (because let’s face it — we both know I’m thinkin about you and stupid smiling about it).

Your girl,

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scenarios-on-ice · 7 years

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Y'ALL KNOW ME

(We are outgunned)

WHAT!!!

(outmanned)

YOU HEAR IT?!

(Outnumbered, outplanned-)

DISTILLED SPIRITS!!!

(The greatest man woman in all of the land of tumblr)

PLEASE RISE FOR YOU QUEEN

LUNA

(…what? Ok, don’t worry about the cinnamon roll who did absolutely nothing wrong, somebody on the wiki clearly made a mistake. TG traumatized me with many things these past few weeks but Kaneki disappearing/recieving a ‘fatal’ injury isn’t one of them. He has plot armor, remember? Worry about Urie instead.

Like in the latest chapter we literally saw him talking with Amon and he was totally fine

I almost screamed when I saw that page

I’ve been waiting so long for them to meet again)

I’ll try to find My Shot again and I’ll let you know when I do! I don’t have much time on my hands at the moment…

Oooh, Armin-Eliza and Mikasa-Angelica do work really well! I can’t believe I didn’t think of that ^^;; Armin and Eliza both have that ‘looks like a cinnamon roll and is a cinnamon roll but could still kill you’ thing going on lol

(I’m personally a fan of Eremika; I couldn’t see Eren ending up with anyone else in canon, though I do like to ship him with Annie…I’d also like the idea of him with Historia if Yumikuri wasn’t one of my OTPs.)

You’re right, Erwin does behave more like Hamilton in general (a more mature version of musical Hamilton or just historical Hamilton), Eren’s not an idiot but he’s still nowhere near Ham in terms of intelligence. I do think Eren fits with Hamilton better in some ways than Erwin though- like his temper, hardworking nature, determination and that bad habit of never knowing when to shut up.

I can just see Eren’s horrified face if someone ever told him to talk less and smile more.

I wanted Levi to be the Burr to Eren’s Hamilton but thinking it over, I realize that while it doe fit I can’t see Levi shouting ‘we’re reliable with the L A D I E S’ in the middle of a crowded ballroom (Levi is also more of a ‘shut up when you need to but when you do have something to say, be honest’ kind of person than a ‘talk less, smile more’ type). So now I want Jean as Burr for Eren. Like, it’s not the best casting ever, but I see some distinctly Burr-like traits in Jean and his rivalry with Eren is very similar to the Burr-Hamilton relationship (only more friendly and less murderous).

(Imagine Jean singing Wait for It and during the line ‘And if there’s a reason I’m still alive when everyone who loves me has died’ Marco’s face flashes across the screen

Or wait, maybe just Marco as the older Theodosia and then Dear Theodosia (reprise)…)

(Like I said above, I agree with you that Levi is a more Burr-like character but younger!Levi is a Hamilton in some ways. Hurricane could be his theme song, only instead of 'write my way out’ it’s more of…you know…fight my way out)

But now I have a harder time deciding who I want as Angelica…I personally prefer Annie or Ymir because Angelica is a witty, sharp character who probably would have gone into politics if people weren’t so sexist back then, and I can see Annie or Ymir bantering with Eren while Mikasa is a more stoic character who lets her actions speak for her. But then, if Jean is Burr I live for the idea of Mikasa brutally shutting down his attempt to hit on her during The Schuyler Sisters (sorry Jean)

(Ok one last time but I really do think Historia’s and Eliza’s character arcs are really similar in some ways)

Oh seriously? That’s so cool! I’m not sure about my acting skills because I’ve never really had to use them…as for singing, I’ve never had any training but I’ve been told I have a good voice. Not anything amazing but apparently it’s nice to listen to? I’m not sure but a lot of people have told me that so. Maybe it’s not too bad XD my rapping skills are pretty average, I think.

Plot twist:

I’d play Peggy.

*gives hugs*

*gives rainbows*

*gives unicorn*

(Idk why I wrote that don’t ask

Seriously though congratulations for getting through that night)

Conspiracy theory:

Your phone and shuffle are plotting to expose you and make you actually admit and accept your feelings

They’re evil

They deserve to burrn like Hamilton’s love letters to Eliza

OK, found the My Shot AMV! It’s by Katherined on youtube ^^

And btw, there’s also an AoT AMV for Aaron Burr, Sir now! The casting isn’t too great in my eyes (they reversed our casting for Levi-Burr and Erwin-Ham, and while I do think Levi is similar to Ham in some ways LMM’s enthusiastic voice paired with his ‘I’m dead inside’ face is weird XD also, Armin is Lafayette in this video? Mikasa is John? The only thing I agree with is Eren as Mulligan…and Armin’s horrified face at 'WHO ARE YOU’). But the editing is good and it is pretty funny (I take back the comment about Eren as Mulligan being the only casting choice I agree with; there’s also Mike as the Bursar Levi punched)

Mikasa’s scenes at Trost combined with 'these redcoats don’t want it with me’ is kinda accurate though

THOUGH, IN REVIEWING THE INCIDENTS OF MY BEING AN ADMIN OF A BLOG

I AM UNCONSCIOUS OF INTENTIONAL ERROR

I AM NEVERTHELESS TOO SENSIBLE OF MY RANDOM HIATUSES

NOT TO THINK IT PROBABLE THAT I MAY HAVE DISAPPEARED COUNTLESS TIMES

I SHALL ALSO CARRY WITH ME THE HOPE THAT MY FOLLOWERS

WILL NEVER CEASE TO VIEW IT WITH INDULGENCE…

OH, I see! I’m glad about that ;-; I keep forgetting that Kaneki won’t die no matter what. I mean, we also thought that Armin died and look what happened.

Soooo, what happened to the cookie?? He’s one of my favs in tgre, he can’t die! Or will he just turn into a full one-eyed ghoul??  ;-;

Yeah, I got the link! It wasn’t that nice, to be honest… I mean, I’ve seen a lot better amvs :/

Yeah, Eliza would absolutely murder you if you badmouthed her. But I think Peggy is even worse ;-; I mean, didn’t she scare off people treating her with an axe at one point? That’s just crazy…

True, Eremika seems to be what we’ll get from the manga and I don’t mind at all, tbh. I’m more of an Armin and Annie shipper. Idk why, don’t ask why. YUMIKURI IS THE CUTEST THING EVER. After this is over, marry me!

Erwin has Hamilton’s ambition, but he’s not as hot-tempered or impulsive, thankfully. When I imagine a compulsive Erwin, I get shivers ;-; It’d probably be a nightmare to have him for an enemy. But Com. Eyebrow’s calm is also scary in itself. I mean, the fact that he’s able to lead so many soldiers (including himself) to their death, voluntarily, is terrifying.

Eren has Ham’s temper and determination, but I think he’d rather fight Bert again than having to ‘write his way out’. That’d probably be a nightmare for him… He’d get so insulted if anyone ever told him that XD

Levi fits Burr in many aspects, but I think that the ones he doesn’t share with him are bigger in number. I think I’d cry from laughing if I ever saw Levi shouting ‘we’re reliable with the L A D I E S’ Even though their relationship isn’t the best fitting, I agree on Jean-Eren for Burr-Ham. I think Jean has enough salt in his head to know when to shut up and he’s pretty willing to do stupid shit to achieve his goals. Only I don’t think he’d murder Eren ;-; I mean, no matter how much they fight, it’s all in good spirit. I think.

*pterodactyl screech* why do you adore toying with people’s feelings so much?? It’s like that ‘You are my sunshine, my only sunshine’ comic I saw for JeanMarco (and HideKaneki for that matter). I did nOT cry.

Levi does fit Hurricane quite a lot. Well, with the environment of the anime, I think a lot of the characters can connect to hurricane, which is actually quite depressing… Only the ‘I’ll write my way out’ would change for every individual person.

All three of them would make amazing Angelicas! Why not three Angelicas? That seems like the easiest answer hahah I think Annie is a bit too emotionless and deadpan for her… So, technically, Ymir would be best one?  But as you said, Mikasa being like ‘Jean, you disgust me’ would give me life. Also, imagine the trauma when she’d find out Eren (Ham) has been killed…

Historia is Eliza, confirmed. BUT WOULDN’T THAT MAKE YMIR ALEX??? WE HAVE NEW HAM!AOT!!!

Oh, that’s pretty cute ^^ I was in puppetry, so I don’t know how well I’d do in actual acting, tho ;-; I’d love to hear you sing one day :) Yeah, I can’t quite rap either. I’d say I have a more of an ability to speak really quickly than actual rap skills.

You’d be the best peggy ever

My shuffle is usually quite evil… Like, it gives me Say No To This right after Helpless. Or Congratulations after Satisfied and so on. And sometimes, it goes on a sad song streak. It’s mean ;-;

I shall never admit my feelings! Well, I’ve admitted them to myself, but I don’t plan on confessing anytime soon, since I’m a potato who’d rather stay forever alone than potentially embarrass myself :)

Aaron Burr, Sir is an amazing amv. I really liked the editing, even though Burr Erwin and Levi Ham are a bit different than expected. Imagine this: Levi saying the line ‘I was chosen for the constitutional convention!’

Mikasa will kick anyone’s ass, it’s been confirmed. Mikasa is kickass.

#tokyo ghoul anon #evans #submission

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animlcrisscross · 7 years

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Dear World,

On June 10th, 2016 a big part of my heart was taken from me. I couldn’t believe the words. Christina? Shot? For sure she was gonna be okay. I was messaging her, sure, but my heart wasn’t believing that she could be taken away. I was just telling her, “Please be okay. I love you.” And things of the sort. I already had imagined her posting a selfie from her hospital bed, saying “I’m okay!” And telling us she loved us. Then around 2am, I found out Christina took her last breath. I couldn’t believe it, beforehand I was pacing around my room, and rocking back and forth and saying please god not Christina, not my Christinzio please. I remember seeing my friends go offline for a while and just coming back to say one word or a couple sentences. I remember how it felt to be in Team Grimmie at that time. It was such a sense of togetherness. We were just a big family even more so. A family that lost someone they loved so deeply.

When I made the shirts, people were DMing me, I was completely overwhelmed with people telling me how great I was for making these. Occasionally, I would get the “I’m so sorry for your loss” messages and people asking me to tell her family they’re sorry. I didn’t know how to respond. I was never close to Christina in the sense that we got to know each other personally. We exchanged a message or two and a couple tweets but that was the extent of our relationship. I never told them that I wasn’t as close to her as they thought, I figured they needed something to let their feelings out to. I always longed for a personal relationship between me and Christina, I mean who didn’t? She was close to a lot of my friends and it’s so crazy to think that me and Christina had mutual friends. I was so close to the situation, I was part of the world that sat anxiously waiting for a tweet that could make us sigh with relief or break us completely. I saw the trending tweets and it was so weird seeing her trending. I remember when TG could never get her in to the trending topics no matter how hard we tried. But that day within seconds she was trending. A whole bunch of people suddenly knew about the girl who was our little secret. For a while people on my Facebook would post about her, and how sad they were of the situation. Some of them didn’t know who she was but they were sad anyways. Almost everyone who knew me, knew I loved Christina. I had pictures of her in my binder and people would ask if she was my sister. I remember people would say I looked like her as well, haha. (It was the hair)

One time I even fully convinced someone that Christina was my girlfriend. (She called me sexy on twitter once lol)

That summer was all about Christina. I hadn’t been following her as I used to for a while. TBH, I got kind of mad at her for a while. She never talked to me anymore, but she would always talk to my friends. I realized now that it was kind of impossible to find little ol’ me in the sea of millions of followers she had. Compared to back then, Christina had gained so many fans. Although the I know in my heart that if I would’ve had the opportunity to meet her, she would’ve developed a friendship with me like all my friends.

Almost half of my life was dedicated to loving Christina. I’ve been with her since her first single, her first major award, her first tour and music video. Gosh, I remember crying of happiness when she was on the voice, running around my house and silently screaming “CHRISTINA IS GONNA BE ON TV!!” I can assure you Christinzio that the rest of my life is going to be dedicated to you.

Since June, probably the whole world has heard about her. People that just knew her for her passing and people like me. People are commenting how sad they were that they didn’t know about her sooner. She was such a humble and goofy girl. I was blessed to grow along side her. I even got my worst habit from her. (Fixing my bangs 24/7)

If you don’t know anything about Christina I just want you to know she had such a kind soul. She radiated so much love and everyone loved her. She would come on twitter and be like “how you doing team grimmie” and she would have conversations with us and just be so amazing. She didn’t have to do that, she didn’t have to tweet us and follow us. I was part of the few who she followed back in 2013, which was 4 years ago if you can believe. She loved video games like Zelda and Earthbound and league of legends. She loved Christina Aguilera and fun and Skrillex as much as we loved her. She loved anime like death note and free. She loved things with all her might. She was so dedicated to everything.

Ever since she passed, the world has seemed to sweep her under the rug or even selfishly use her for views. The teen choice awards used TG to help them gain viewers and didn’t even mention her or the award she won. YouTube themselves didn’t even mention her in YouTube rewind, like they have for past deaths. She has been in no award show memorials, for example the Grammys today.

Christina died doing what she loved and greeted the man that planned to kill her for weeks with open arms. No one has honored her the way she deserves.

Although, Christina does not need stupid award shows and other things to remember her, that’s what Team freaking Grimmie is for. We will never let her be forgotten. As a person who has been in team Grimmie for 7 years or more, I can tell you Christina has grown so much but has remained the same humble, God loving dork she was back then.

I’m not officially part of her street team (I screwed up and sent it to the wrong email lol whoops) that doesn’t matter to me. I was OG Team Grimmie. I was there for the birth of “frands” and “rawwk fingers” and when find me was released. I was there when she first told us she was on the voice. When she was first touring with Selena Gomez. I will never ever let her be forgotten.

On Valentine’s Day, her family and friends are gonna release a new single called Invisible. I already know it’s gonna be so great. So you should really really check it out and show this dumb world that she doesn’t need recognition from stuffy award shows. Show the world that Team Grimmie is still here and we will never let our little Christina be forgotten. Get her single on the charts and get #CGforever trending.

My friend Cassie just tweeted an hour ago "out of the 13 billion+ years the universe existed, i am so lucky to have lived at the same time as christina victoria grimmie and know her." I'm so grateful that I had these years to grow up and look up to Christina. I will live everyday like you did, full of love. Please don't forget about her world. Love you Christinzio.

#Christina Grimmie #the Grammys #teen choice awards #team Grimmie #cgforever #invisible #Christina Grimmie death #Christina Grimmie Grammys

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