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saeist · 1 year

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it's not living if it's not with you ── s. itoshi

synopsis: if it's meant to be, it will be genre: ex2lovers, arranged/fake dating, celebrity!au, pro!au, fluff, angst with happy ending, sharing a bed, 2nd chances, ... word count: 12.3k warnings: reader and sae aged up 22+, implied sex towards the end, reader has a hint of social anxiety/claustrophobia, i think sae is a little ooc in some scenes, lmk if i missed some notes: THERE YOU HAVE IT SAEISTS.. MY 1K SPECIAL!! THIS IS THE SUPER SECRET SAE FIC I'VE BEEN TEASING EVERYONE ABOUT FOR LIKE A WEEK NOW AND IT'S FINALLY IN FRUITION! <3 here's a lil sae brainrot to show my gratitude to you guys ^_^ fellow saeists who also consume an unhealthy(?) amount of sae content...... this fic is also dedicated to the loml my bae aeri @saerins for taking ur time of day to beta-read and to my angel baby sage @invsu as well <33 ilu guys extras: i made a playlist for this bc i am insane like that and without further a do.. sit back, relax and enjoy! lmk what u guys think either in the tags or comments bc i rlly worked hard on this for like a week and i jus couldn't stop writing! talk abt a sae earworm... ++ if u guys find theres a lot of the 1975 references.. its bc i was listening to their songs as i made this lawl .. tmi!

001.

you didn’t really put into consideration how awkward it actually was to be working on a modeling gig with your ex boyfriend.

the pay was obviously really good that’s why you even agreed to book it in the first place, especially since it was for a famous luxury brand and their fragrance line

so imagine your horror when you walk into set and see your ex posing for the cameras.

you silently hoped that it was just his solo shoot and not with you because your manager did mention that you would be having a partner for this photoshoot

the photographer greets you with a hug and compliments your outfit for the shoot. a white, sultry open neckline dress. the theme of the shoot was it was set on the beach with a sunset background

he instructs you to lay on the makeshift sand and tells you to start posing for your solo shots.

after a couple of clicks, the photographer compliments you on your professionalism on set and then calls your ex boyfriend.

“sae! time for the couple shots i told you about” the photographer calls out to sae who was on his makeup chair. your eyes widened in realization that he was, in fact, your partner for today’s shoot

you tried to look at your manager for some help but it was no use. your manager was busy talking to other people on set. you can feel your heart beating faster by the minute as sae walks closer to you

he was wearing something similar to what you were wearing. dress pants and a white oversized unbuttoned polo. his exposed toned abdomen was probably the main highlight of his outfit with it glistening under the studio lights.

you bit your lip and looked away. sae has always been eye candy, there was no denying that. you were surprised yourself when you managed to bag him during his rookie days, but now that he was almost, if not an A list celebrity with his elite status in the world of football, you can almost say that itoshi sae was totally out of your league

you come back to your senses when the photographer claps his hands and muses how you and sae have insane chemistry that he has ever witnessed. you let out a little huff at the comment.

‘if only he knew’ you think to yourself, avoiding sae’s gaze as much as possible

the shoot starts and the photographer instructs sae to hover over you while holding the perfume bottle. sae nods and does what he’s told, he’s a professional after all. he wouldn’t let his personal feelings interfere with his work. that was the golden rule in the industry

you locked eyes with sae for the first time in years. he still had those fiery teal eyes that gets you weak in the knees each time. your eyes slowly dart from his eyes to his lips.

“keep doing that y/n!” the photographer cheers, clicking away on his camera. did you do something in your past life that you would inevitably end up in an awkward situation like this. a situation wherein you and your ex lover, in a position where you two are posing like an actual couple

your eyes flicker back from sae’s lips to his eyes again. for a second there you thought you felt a spark, a connection, an old flame that has been rekindled at that very moment.

til it all comes back to you in a flash

you forgot you hated him. you hate itoshi sae and you could’ve sworn itoshi sae hated you too.

the bitter taste is still in your mouth after all these years. how could you forget the man who broke your little heart in two?

it was childish really. looking back at it now, where you were merely just starting out as a rookie model and sae being the same, a rookie at his profession. just two kids having a similar situation in two whole different industries. it was hard not to get entangled.

you were always known to be sae's long time lover. you were always supportive of his games. present whenever you can, sitting at the exclusive VIP section of the stadiums, wearing his number on your back; and if you weren’t able to attend due to your own schedules, you would still manage to find the time to support him. may it be posting an instagram story that you were watching him on your phone while you were getting your makeup done or wearing his jersey on the day of the game

sae was the same. he would always be seen wearing the stuff from brands you’ve modeled for. from jewelries to exclusive clothing lines, sae would always be seen wearing them, his silent way of showing support in your own craft.

you were proud of him, and he was proud of you too.

but as all things are, good things come and go. even in the most unexpected times.

there were already rumors circulating that you and sae were ready to tie the knot, some news outlets even stating that maybe you two have gone ahead and tied the knot at some island during your secret little rendezvous. (having been caught going to santorini for more than multiple occasions)

the public has always been supportive of your relationship throughout the years. even earning the title as the nation’s sweethearts with how they’ve seen your relationship blossom from puppy love to what they call as “true love”

with the news that the nation’s sweethearts have parted ways, the public was as heartbroken as you.

sae suddenly called it quits after almost five years of dating. it was after he has been taken under the wing of real madrid’s division A where his career as a midfielder really took off. to make matters even worse, he broke it off at the same place he claimed you as his.

since then, you’ve sworn to hate him. you’ve resented him. you felt like all those years that you two have built was nothing. you couldn’t even believe him at first when he spat out the words “we’re over” like it was nothing.

five years, five years worth of unforgettable firsts. five fucking years to unlearn everything.

you were absolutely crushed back then. you even took a hiatus with everything going on in your life. you were a mess. you actually can’t believe sae had no remorse over this. were the five years you were together nothing for him? all those tears you two have shed, the firsts of everything, all those precious memories, were they all nothing?

it hasn’t even been a year or so but it seemed like sae already moved on, which added more salt to your already open wound. he was flourishing with his career while all of this was going on. sae has been photographed multiple times leaving clubs with lipstick stains all over his neck.

it stung of course. seeing him move on with his life as if he didn’t just ruin yours. that very night, you swore to yourself that you will never forgive itoshi sae for what he did.

never again would you open your heart to someone like itoshi sae.

itoshi sae, the man who broke your heart into two.

“earth to y/n?” the photographer snaps his fingers in front of you, breaking your little trance.

you apologize to the photographer, your cheeks heating up at the realization that you really got lost in your thoughts the moment you’ve met eyes with sae.

“as i was saying,” the photographer eyes you and sae, “the shoot is over. well done” he bows, motioning the people behind the scenes to clap for you and sae

almost immediately you stood up from your awkward position from sae. intentionally avoiding his hand that was held out for you to take. (you hate how he was still a gentleman to you, even after all these years)

you look around for your manager and strut towards him.

“we’re leaving. now” you say with no emotion in your voice, even walking farther ahead from your now confused manager.

he takes a look around on what could’ve made you pissed off but sees no one but itoshi sae in the flesh.

“but y/n, itoshi sae is here-” your manager gets cut off when there was a loud slam of a door nearby. he winces when he realizes it was you. he turns around and bows his head at the people on set.

“i apologize for y/n’s actions”

with that, your manager runs after you.

sae could only stare at your direction with mixed feelings. a part of him was relieved that he got to see you again after all these years, yet he doesn’t understand why he was feeling off to find out that you still resented him. i mean, that was what he expected for his own actions all those years ago.

with a click of a tongue, he goes back to his own manager so they can finally go home after a long day.

you don’t even know why you were crying. tears blurring your vision as you try to find the exit out of this damned building.

you harshly wipe your tears, opening the last door to your left. you were met with the harsh, cold air of japan. you weren’t looking where you were going, barely even noticing that someone was by the door til you bumped into them.

the steel floors were making it hard to walk in your heels. so when you bumped into the said stranger, you lost your balance.

the stranger had quick reflexes. they immediately caught you by your waist and your hands flew to their chest to keep yourself steady. you looked up at the stranger to apologize only to meet eyes again with the same teal eyes that belonged to no one other than sae fucking itoshi

you don’t know how long you two have been in this position until you see a bright flash in your peripheral vision.

you have just been papped by paparazzi with your ex boyfriend and sworn enemy, itoshi sae.

002.

the headlines in both social media, news outlets and the such were exactly how you expected it.

it was crazy.

the general public going wild, thinking that the once famed couple were now back together after how many years.

your phone was blowing up with emails upon emails. calls from friends and relatives to confirm the news themselves that you’ve been seeing sae again. you look at your manager beside you apologetically as he receives another phone call from what you think is another e-news outlet asking if the rumors circulating were true.

you have been summoned by your company for an emergency meeting as the whole situation was getting out of hand.

that was when you realize how big of a name itoshi sae was after all these years of blocking his name on twitter.

your PR team is currently a mess. they are currently working their asses off to put out a good story for your sudden reunion with the famed midfielder.

“how many times do i have to tell you to be careful being papped after a shoot?” the head of your PR team, pinches the bridge of their nose. clearly this wasn’t the first time around

“i was!” you defend yourself, “i didn’t even know it was him til i looked up..” you murmured

your manager facepalms at your response. how did you not know it was sae?

“so what i’m getting here..” the head puts their glasses on the table, “you didn’t “know” that it was the itoshi sae, your partner for this specific photoshoot, the famed midfielder of real madrid, itoshi sae?” they quote, looking at you like you just grew another head

you nod in content, “exactly” you grin, putting your thumbs up. in hopes it raises the mood. (it doesn’t, unfortunately)

“y/n, i hope you know this isn’t just something we can brush under the rug. this is not the same situation with yukimiya kenyu where you two were caught being cozy in his car”

“yuki was literally just driving me home! and we’re close friends!” you defend yourself, yet again.

“exactly! yukimiya is a close friend! while itoshi sae is not. that’s why this is such a big deal!”

you slump back to your seat. okay, maybe they were right. this was a lot harder to get around with especially since the public knows about your past relationship.

“luckily for you, we have talked things out with itoshi sae’s management,” it was your manager’s turn to talk. he stands up from the seat beside you and walks over to your PR team’s head. they exchange glances before nodding.

“we have come up with a way that this whole issue will be over soon” your manager starts.

as if on cue, the doors of the meeting room suddenly open. you take a look on who could be entering this sacred room this late. surely it couldn’t be more of your PR team as they were all already present in the room.

there stood with their hand still on the doorknob is no one other than sae, with his manager right behind him.

your jaw drops as you put two and two together.

you whipped your head towards your manager and the head of your PR team in both horror and disbelief.

no, it can’t be…

“you two will now be in an arranged relationship for the meanwhile. until your situation dies down” sae’s manager finishes, taking a seat next to sae, who took the seat next to you.

you could see your manager squeeze his eyes shut, knowing where this is going. you were about to have a fit right here right now.

“WHAT?!” you let out a loud scream. the whole floor probably heard you.

sae also winces at how ear-piercing your scream was.

you abruptly stood up from your seat, snatching your purse from the table and stomped out of the meeting room. not forgetting to slam the door shut on the way out.

immediately you called up your two closest friends, reo and yukimiya to meet you at your apartment ASAP.

003.

“so you’re telling me– us,” yukimiya pauses, looking between you, who has mascara running down your cheeks and reo, who was busy rubbing circles on your back as he hands you another tissue for you to blow your nose on, “that you are going to be in an arranged relationship with your ex, itoshi sae.. am i getting that right?” yukimiya confirms, waiting for your response

you nod before blowing your nose and throwing the now used tissue on the rising pile of tissues behind you.

“this is the worst day of my fucking life” you cried out, reaching out to reo to cry on his shoulders.

“oh, y/n” reo sighs, pulling you into his embrace as you cry your eyes out.

you pull away from reo’s embrace, “i mean, why him, why now?!” you rambled, words getting choked up.

both reo and yukimiya could only frown. after all, even with their power, money and status, there was nothing they could do to help with your situation.

your doorbell suddenly rings, catching all three of you in surprise. who could be at your door right now?

yukimiya took the initiative of opening the door, only to be met with the eyes of the itoshi sae. barely noticing your manager behind him.

sae raises his eyebrow at the man in front of him. who was he and why was he at your apartment?

“yukimiya-san! i didn’t know you were over..” your manager sheepishly greets yuki, trying to break the growing tension between him and sae.

“who’s out there, yuki?” you croak out, trying to take a peek at the door from reo’s shoulders.

“it’s me, y/n” you hear your manager call out. you look at reo in confusion. what was your manager doing here?

gradually, you slowly stood up from your kitchen island and walked over to your front door.

now, you just expected a scolding from your manager from your little fit back at the company, that’s why he was at your place or so you thought. what you didn’t expect that you’d see itoshi sae again but this time, in your own space.

“have you lost your fucking mind?” you shot a look at your manager, who only winces as a response.

“y/n- i can explain-“

“i made him take me here” sae speaks up for the first time. you felt your breath hitched. it’s been so long since you last talked to him, let alone heard him speak. (you’ve done everything you can and blocked every single thing related to sae. that meant interviews, news articles, you name it, you had his name and everything blocked and muted)

sae invites himself inside your apartment with your manager following suit as you stand there at your front door, stunned.

reo is equally as shocked as you are when he sees itoshi sae casually walk to your living room as if it was his. before reo could open his mouth to say something, you come running in, fuming.

“who the fuck told you you can come inside MY house” you spat. your attitude turning a whole 180.

sae only raises an eyebrow at you. “our team” he casually says. he then looks at your manager and cocks his head towards your direction. like he was trying to get your manager to tell you something.

“what now?!” this time it was your manager’s turn to get yelled at by you. he winces again before checking for something in his ipad.

“since you um.. walked out at our meeting earlier today… both managements has come to terms that you and itoshi sae would be living together for the meantime”

silence fills the room, the entire apartment if we were being honest

your vision goes dark, the next thing you know and you black out.

as you slowly regain your consciousness, you hear some people talking. well, to you it sounded like they were slurring because you couldn’t really comprehend what they were saying. slowly, you open your eyes. the first person you see is a frantic reo who seemed to be fanning your face with yukimiya holding your hand

“where am i?” you grunt, feeling some dull ache on the back of your head and lower back.

“you fainted” sae points out. staring at you who was on the ground. you sat up and stared at sae, wide eyed. “what the hell is he still doing here?!” you ask in distraught. you thought everything prior to this was all just a fever dream, or a nightmare as you’d like to call it

your manager, who was getting you a glass of water comes running to your aid. he crouches and tells you to drink up- to which you do.

“we were discussing your current situation with itoshi sae until you fainted… ” your manager starts, you choke on your water after hearing those words but thankfully didn’t start a coughing fit. you motioned your manager to continue so that you’d finally hear the end of this dreadful moment

your manager's eyes flicker between you and sae, “we’ve come up with an agreement that until the time being, itoshi sae would be living with you and you’d market yourselves as a couple. sae has already consented and agreed with the contract and your PR team as well…” he finishes, clutching his ipad close to his chest

reo, who was listening intently, felt like it was unfair for you to be in this type of situation regardless if it was an order from your company

“isn’t unfair for y/n though? she herself didn’t consent to this contract right? doesn’t this violate her own rights of code of ethics?” reo interferes, giving your manager a look. you look at reo and smiled. maybe you’ll ask him to contact the finest lawyers of japan that he knows after this

your manager was about to speak up but sae beat him to it.

“i was the one who suggested this whole setup, not their company. so technically, this isn’t “violating y/n’s rights of code of ethics” as it’s not even printed on a contract because simply, there is no contract” sae states, mocking reo’s tone of voice, giving him a side eye before turning his attention back to you.

this time it was yukimiya who steps in. he turns to sae with his eyebrows raised. “isn’t there another way to get around this? not just by your means?” yukimiya pauses, pushing his glasses up, “i mean, why does it have to be like this where you’ll live with y/n for an issue that could be squashed with just a single article denying your relationship or involvement with y/n?”

sae sits up straight, staring yukimiya down with an icy stare. “this doesn’t concern you”

yukimiya and reo both stand up, “actually it does. y/n is our friend” reo hisses, glaring at the red head who merely just yawns and rolls his eyes.

was sae even taking this seriously?

sae sighs, a bored expression on his face. “this is matters between me and y/n only”

finally having enough of his bullshit, you got up from the ground and walked in front of sae.

“what exactly are you planning, itoshi sae?” you narrow your eyes at him. this was the first time in years you’ve looked at him. you note how appearance wise, he hasn’t changed one bit.

sae chuckles a bit, catching you by surprise. what’s so funny?

“drop the formalities, y/n. you know me better than everyone else in this room” he scoffs, eyeing you from head to toe.

sae won’t lie. he thinks you were still beautiful the day he left you. to him, you were always the prettiest in the room and from the way his heart raced after seeing you for the first time again in years, he knows himself that thought stayed the same.

he watches your eyes soften for a second before it goes back to your signature glare.

“actually, I don't,” you say dryly, crossing your arms. “so, tell me. what exactly are you gonna get out of this?”

sae sighs. he doesn’t know himself either but he wasn’t just about to say that out loud. he doesn’t know what got into him all of a sudden. was it because he was curious about how you were doing? was he intrigued? did he somehow miss you all of a sudden because he saw you again?

a part of him always longed for you even after you two have gone your own separate ways. it was hard not to, considering you have spent a chunk of your lives together. not to mention, you two grew up with each other and built blossoming careers together hand in hand.

it was only until he finally got recruited for division a of real madrid where he thought it would be best if you guys would stop what you have in order to be the best version of himself— wrong.

he realized he fucked up that maybe that wasn’t the best option when he realized he needed you more than ever. you were his best support system. you were always there with him during the hardest times holding his hand but it was already too late. the damage had been done and it was irreversible.

the day he broke up with you, or the day he fucked up everything was also the last time he ever saw or heard from you ever again.

sae tried. he tried and tried and tried to reach out to you. he tried searching for your socials, your contact information, literally everything he can get his hands on. but even with his power and money in the world, it was still not enough to find you.

the only updates he had of you was the ads that were plastered all around social media and in the busy shopping districts of the cities he’s in. it was almost like a constant reminder of what he lost.

so shocked was an understatement when you were his partner for the commercial shoot his manager had booked him for some random luxury brand.

after all those years, he found you again.

to say the stars were on his side when you two got papped by the paparazzi is a bit selfish on sae’s end. as much as he fucking despises the paparazzi as they tend to ruin things for him, he’s quite glad that for once that they did something right.

they brought you back to him.

so sae couldn’t just let this opportunity of a lifetime slide. even if this so called “scandal” could easily just be cleared out with a simple denying of such rumor. but sae couldn’t just let this end like that.

he wants to fix everything he broke. sae wants another chance.

“this is pointless” you deadpan, after waiting for sae to speak. he was just sitting there, staring right back at you for god knows how long that you begin to become conscious.

sae looked like he just snapped out of his train of thought as he shook his head before clearing his throat.

“it’s a win-win situation for both of us” sae blurts, “you get more publicity out of this–”

yukimiya and reo both looked at him like he was crazy.

“excuse you— with or without you, y/n is already famous. hell, you don’t even know how many brands are waiting for her to reach back at them!”

“do you live under a rock or something? how do you not know y/n is one of the, if not the number one top model of the country?”

you were secretly thankful that you called both yukimiya and reo beforehand. not only you got an ego boost, but it gave sae a taste of your own reality that you are where you are now because he left you

a small smirk tugs on your lips when sae frowns. you watch him chew his bottom lip, a telltale sign that he was thinking of something to save his ass

“well, if you aren’t gonna get something out of this.. i have” you say, catching everyone’s attention, including your own manager.

your manager looks at you with his head tilted to the side. mouthing “what do you mean?”

“i’ll only agree to this if after this whole scandal is over, i don’t ever want to see you again” you propose to sae. it was only fair for it to end like this as one, he was the one who suggested this idea in the first place. two, you can never be too complacent with sae who apparently has no motive regarding this. this was sae we’re talking about, he’s bound to plot something and three, you can finally find the answers you’ve been yearning for after all these years. might as well use this as an opportunity to get your well deserved closure.

there was a glint of hope in sae’s eyes.

“deal”

you hear yukimiya and reo yell a bunch of lines like “seriously y/n?” but all you can focus on is sae who’s also looking right back at you.

your manager claps his hands in joy, immediately dialing your company about your decision. sae takes this time to call his own manager to probably tell him to bring his stuff in.

did you make the right decision? you’re not too sure. only time can tell.

004.

today was the first day of you officially “dating” sae again.

also the first day of living with sae, for the meantime

just a little after you’ve come to an agreement with sae with the set up of your rekindled “relationship”, both managements didn’t waste a single second on confirming the news that the nation’s sweethearts have gone back together

needless to say, both of your names are trending and is the current talk of the town

so your first agenda (from both PR teams) is that you both post strikingly similar instagram stories as if you were together the night prior. (in which, you two were.. force binded by a non-existent contract)

it was a good thing that you chose an apartment that had a spare guest room because god forbid you’d even dare to sleep in the same bed with your ex.

you didn’t give sae a warning that you were already gonna post something. just a quick snap of your window, that holds the view of shibuya, with a little sunlight peeking through. you captioned it with a little “good morning indeed” with a cheeky emoji just to spice things up.

sae, who was in the next room, was casually scrolling through instagram when he sees that you posted a new instagram story. he clicks his tongue in annoyance at the fact you didn’t even give him a heads up. quickly improvising, he took a mirror selfie from the vanity mirror that you have around in your guest bedroom.

you started your day with making your own breakfast. not even bothering to call sae. hell, he can starve for all you care. after all, he was not your responsibility. you only agreed to do this because frankly you had no other choice from your company.

while waiting for your eggs, it didn’t take you a while to also notice that sae already posted his part of the agenda. thinking of it as nothing, you innocently clicked on his profile. his story loads and wow. resonating with your caption, good morning indeed!

sae posted a shirtless mirror selfie. he was still under the covers but made sure his torso was seen on the mirror.

“take a screenshot, it’d last longer” sae says flatly, moving past you to your fridge. you jolt in surprise, almost dropping your phone in the process. “what the fuck!” you yell out, a hand over your chest.

you hear sae chuckling behind you and the fridge opening

“you got all that money stocked up somewhere and yet you don’t even have groceries?” sae comments, noting your almost empty fridge. there were only some milk boxes and some of those edible collagen jellies that help you with swelling when you have early morning shoots and the such.

sae takes the last chocolate milk box you had that was hidden away at the back of your fridge

“well, my manager does it for me and i usually eat at reo’s or yukimiya’s– is that the last of my milk?!” you pried your eyes off your phone to see sae casually sipping on the last milk box you were saving

“so?”

“that’s mine” you argued, getting up from the kitchen island to snatch it from sae. you stomp over to him and tried to swipe it off his hands. unfortunately for you, sae is an athlete and that meant he had reflexes like no other. he raises his arm high just before you were able to grab the milk box from him.

“sae, give it back” you grit your teeth, standing on your tippy toes, trying or attempting to take the milk box from sae’s hold but the height difference is just something else.

sae leans down and gets all over your face. “come on, you can do it,” he teases, eyes fixated on yours.

this feeling almost felt too familiar. almost like a wave of nostalgia just hit you in the face. the memories you’ve been trying to suppress all coming back

you snapped out of your little trance when you realized the position you two were in.

“my eggs are burning” you lie, leaving sae dumbfounded. you scurry off to your stove to finish what you were cooking while sae goes and sits on your kitchen island.

he watches you plate your breakfast and sit on the other end of the kitchen island. you actually felt him staring but chose to ignore him. the sound of his stomach grumbling breaks the awkward silence.

“where’s my breakfast?” he asks, voice small

you shrug, “i don’t know”

“you didn’t make me one?”

“why will i?” you raise a brow, happily munching on your bacon while sae could only look at you in disbelief.

later that day you two had your own schedules. he had practice and other stuff to do while you had another meeting about different commercial offers and a lunch date with reo and yukimiya just like you promised the two.

you got home later than sae. you were about to grab some water from the fridge when you notice that it was fully stocked with groceries. you can’t help but smile a little at the gesture.

you did your usual night routine before getting comfy in bed. just before you were about to hit the hay, you don’t forget to send sae a quick message, thanking him for the groceries.

[11:43] you: thanks for doing the groceries ig

[11:44] sae: i couldn’t just let myself starve here, can i?

you rolled your eyes at his reply. he’s still so sarcastic even after all these years

[11:45] you: whatever 🙄

[11:46] sae: i also restocked that milk you love so much. call it truce from earlier today

[11:46] you: who told you it was my favorite? 🤨

[11:47] sae: gut feeling, call it old habit

you raised a brow at his text. what did he mean by that? before you could type your reply, your phone notifies you that sae sent another message

[11:49] sae: jk. your manager told me

you didn’t realize you were holding in your breath. you let out a sigh of relief after reading his message. you were not gonna let him get under your skin. not anymore

you ended up not replying to him. instead, you shut your phone off to reflect on today’s events, hoping that this all ends soon. your phone suddenly dings again. it was a notification from sae.

[11:55] sae: i’m going to sleep now. goodnight, y/n

it’s officially been a week of living with sae and pretending to be a couple in front of the cameras and the public. to think you’d even last this long is an understandment on it’s own.

for this day, both managements wanted you two to be seen out and about in public doing whatever you two wished to do.

you were debating on what you two should do that won’t involve much physical contact like going out for shopping because that only meant that you two would be forced to hold hands which is something you don’t want to do for obvious reasons. you’d rather die than to be papped with sae holding hands

“what do you want to do today?” sae asks from the couch. you two were already all dressed up. intentionally matching your outits just for the sake of it. sae was wearing a maroon turtleneck with holes in them with a white long sleeve shirt underneath and some track pants? you don't question his outfit much further because why would you exert the effort to do so?

you were wearing something similar. a maroon crop top with some leggings to match the laid back outfit of your fake boyfriend.

“what can we do without much physical contact?” you pondered, a finger tapping on your chin. sae scoffs at your question, mumbling about what’s wrong with physical contact with him. you almost wanted to tell him “everything” but that would just start another argument today

“how about we get some coffee?” sae offers, unable to think of more activities to do in such short notice. you hum in agreement, coffee does sound good right now. you get up from the couch and grab the keys to your car

“what are you doing?” sae asked. you stop in your tracks and hold out your keys for him to see. “we’re taking my car” sae says, showing off his.

not putting up much of a fight, you agreed. it was getting tiring driving yourself around anyway.

you two arrive at the coffee shop sae graciously let you choose in no time (by graciously, he meant that he’s good with anything you choose) you then decide on sitting by the window where you know the paparazzi will be in front at in no time to capture this date between rekindled lovers

you sit at your chosen table by the window while you wait for sae to order something for the both of you. telling him that you’re okay with whatever since this cafe was your favorite.

it didn’t take sae that long to come back with your orders. he sets the tray down and you find an abundance of sweets and pastries. you look up at him confused but he simply shrugs. he then places your drink down. you take the receipt that was hanging off the tray to read everything he has ordered.

looks like he ordered everything on the menu with the sweets and pastries, which is not surprising really. when you read what he got you however,

“you ordered me a spanish latte?” you ask, taking the drink from the table.

sae nods, taking a sip from his own drink. “something wrong?”

you shake your head no. you just can’t wrap your head at the fact he ordered your usual go-to drink.

“nothing, it’s just i'm surprised that you still remember what i usually order in coffee shops” you shrug, finally sipping on your drink. spanish lattes does always hit the spot for you

“do you think i have forgotten?” sae raises a brow, a slight frown forming on his lips. you rolled your eyes at his comment.

“well, it’s been a while, don’t you think?” you retort, avoiding his hard stare. technically, it’s been almost two years since the breakup. one of you were bound to forget each other’s habits and the such.

there was silence again after that. an awkward one at that

“let’s take our post now so we can leave” you say, taking pictures of the food in front of you while keeping sae in the frame. sae simply nods and does the same. the photo you decided to post was mostly all the food sae ordered with him in the background. you purposely cut off his head just for the thrill of it. you do tag sae in the instagram story though with the caption “coffee run”

sae’s post was a bit different. he simply posted a candid shot of you taking pictures of the food in front of you. for captions, sae isn’t much of a caption person because he thinks they defeat the purpose of photos so instead he just adds a heart emoji with your username next to it.

it didn’t take much for the paparazzi to find your whereabouts. just like planned, they were outside the window you two were seated in taking photos after photos.

“do we go now?” sae asks, eyeing the amount of people that were outside the cafe.

“yeah..” you trail off, not really expecting a whole crowd to form outside. sae must've sensed that you were tensed with the way he stands next to you when you two were leaving the coffee shop

the moment you two step foot outside, it was an absolute frenzy. the press were everywhere on your faces. asking questions from all sorts of directions that it actually made you dizzy.

you were never one for crowded crowds. especially when they topple over each other just to take the perfect photo or get an exclusive. it was just never your cup of tea

you covered your eyes from the bright flashes that were all over your face, trying to maneuver around the paparazzi to get to sae’s car faster but the paparazzi was too much for you to handle. you instinctively leaned on sae for support as your legs start to feel wobbly. sae immediately catches on and wraps an arm around your waist securely, pushing forward against the hoarde of people in front of you guys

“get out of the fucking way!” sae barks, pushing the people in front of your faces. the group of paparazzi do make way for you guys as you finally reach sae’s car.

sae unlocks the car and opens the passenger door for you to enter first. he shields any possible camera that was trying to capture your face with his body. even going as far as pushing them away making some of the paparazzi stumble and fall on their asses.

once you were secured in your seat, he runs over to his side of the car and starts the car before speeding off. not wasting a single second for some short interview.

“you okay?” sae steals a glance at your slumped state, before turning his attention back to the road in front of him.

“... yeah, just dizzy” you say meekly, rubbing your temples. “i’m gonna rest my eyes for a bit, sae” you murmur, leaning against the window before drifting off to sleep.

sae sighs and speeds up faster so you two could get home sooner. ‘damn paparazzi’ he thinks to himself, not noticing how his knuckles have turned white with how hard he was gripping the steering wheel.

the car comes to a halt when the traffic lights beam red. sae couldn’t help but look at your state. he always knew you were bad with crowds but yet you still fulfilled your lifelong dream to be a model. he wonders who took care of you during flash mobs when you were out in the streets.

was it your manager? was it that reo guy? or was it yukimiya aka that person he doesn’t really like. sae hates how close you are with him. sae will also never forget your scandal with him. he can still remember it like it was yesterday when the news dropped that you may or may not be in a relationship with your fellow model yukimiya kenyu after being papped being cozy inside his car.

practice was hell that day for real madrid and sae may or may not have punctured a soccer ball out of pure rage.

the damned light finally turns green and thankfully you were at the last street before the turn to your apartment complex.

sae parks the car and turns to take a good look at your sleeping figure. you look too peaceful to wake up. so he gets out of the car and goes to your side to pick you up bridal style.

he gently puts one of your arms around his neck (for safe measure) and loops his under your knees to carry you. with the help of the security guards around, he presses the elevator up to your penthouse suite.

for once in his life, sae is thankful that he was an athlete as he successfully tapped in your passcode to unlock your front door with you in his arms. when he reaches your bedroom, he gently sets you down on your bed.

sae was about to leave to make some dinner just before you wake up but was stopped by your hand reaching for his.

“stay..” you mumbled, tugging his arm. sae hesitates for a bit, unsure if you were actually conscious or was just sleep talking. sae watches your eyebrows furrow when you notice he still wasn’t beside you. clicking your tongue in annoyance, you tug on sae’s arm harder so he gets the hint

“okay, okay” sae hums, slowly getting in your bed. he’s unsure himself on what he should do. should he stay still, wrap an arm around you, what?

to his surprise, you were snuggling next to him. your head nestling to his chest. sae lets out a small gasp. he definitely didn’t see this coming.

coming to a realization that no harm would be done if he wraps an arm around you, he slowly drapes his arm over your waist. sae suddenly feels like he was on top of the world, like everything suddenly made sense to sae.

sae caresses your cheek, brushing the stray hairs from your face.

“you still look beautiful the day i lost you..” sae whispers. he debates on stealing a kiss. he weighs out the pros and the cons and figures that it was more of a liability if you ever find out he stole a kiss from you, especially when you were asleep. that’s gonna have to be for another time.

sae was beginning to feel sleepy. he carefully drapes the duvet across your bodies. not even a moment later, sae is now fast asleep with you in his arms

you find yourself plush against something hard and warm. you try tossing to the other side but you were being held securely around your waist. your eyes shot up, now fully awake and aware of your surroundings.

“good morning” sae rasps, his morning voice sending shivers down your spine.

“what are you doing in my bed?” you whisper-yelled, actually genuinely surprised to see him next to you. your heart was racing, like it was about to jump out of your chest. did something happened yesterday? you couldn’t quite remember everything after leaving the coffee shop. it almost felt like a hazy dream

sae reluctantly unwraps his arm around you and scoots to the edge of the bed. you almost pout at the warmth that disappears but you internally scold yourself for thinking of such things.

“you passed out in the car and i brought you here” sae explains, now sitting up. “i’ll go make breakfast. stay put” he pats your leg before excusing himself to leave your bedroom. you lay there confused because that wasn’t enough to explain why he was quite literally sleeping next to you.

just the mere fact that you slept next to him sent you into a frenzy. you grab your phone and immediately dialed reo

“hello?” reo answers groggily, you checked your phone for the time and it was literally 8 in the morning.

“reo!” you hushed, trying not to catch the attention of sae “something happened yesterday!”

“what?”

“we slept together…?” your voice going up an octave, chewing on your lip as you await for reo’s reaction

a beat of silence passes by. you thought reo may have accidentally ended the call

“YOU DID WHAT?!” reo basically screams at your ear. you had to remove your phone from your ear from the impact of reo’s shrill scream. “DON’T TELL ME YOU GOT BACK TOGETHER WITH HIM IN JUST A WEEK’S NOTICE—”

“NOT IN THAT WAY, DIPSHIT” you say abruptly, cutting reo off. “i mean like.. we just slept in the same bed after yesterday’s turn of events…” you trail off, trying to remember every significant detail that eventually lead up to you and sae ultimately sleeping with each other.

“my guess is with the paparazzi. i just saw the photos” reo says, typing away on his keyboard. “not gonna lie y/n, you and sae do make a good couple” he adds, giggling

you huff over the phone, earning a hefty laugh from the other end.

“talk to him. clearly you need it” reo advices. it was like he knows where this was going. “ i gotta go for now, y/n. i’ll call you back later. duty calls. ciao!” reo ends the call before you could even say something.

you threw your phone on the other side of the bed, groaning as you put your head in your hands. what was happening to you

there was a faint knock on your door, probably sae was gonna tell you that breakfast was ready but to your surprise, he brought the breakfast to you.. in bed.

sae walks in with a little bed tray that you didn’t even know you owned filled with some breakfast.

“was all this necessary?” you say in disbelief. sae simply shrugs and sits by the foot of your bed.

“i contacted your manager about your state and he says he’ll be coming over to check up on you later” he notes, typing away on his phone with one hand. sae turns to you and motions for you to start digging in. “c’mon, eat up”

you feel your face heat up at his extravagant gestures. he was a man of service after all. even during your relationship, sae wasn’t the type to be vocal about his love for you. it was mostly through actions may it be subtle or not. you can feel the love with the way he does everything for you.

with a small smile, you start to eat the breakfast he made.

“sae,” you call. he looks up from his phone, a confused look on his face.

“need something?”

“come here” you motioned for him to scoot closer to you. to which he happily obliges. he is now sitting right in front of you.

he watches you cut a piece of your pancake and stabbed it with your fork before holding it up for him.

“here,” you say sheepishly, not even looking at sae in the eye. sae looked at you like you just lost your mind.

“can’t let you not eat your own cooking..” you mumbled, feeling your face burn in both embarrassment or something you can’t pinpoint. with a chuckle, he takes the fork from you. unintentionally brushing your hands together.

in an instant, you snatch your hand back as he quietly eats the pancake you’ve given him.

things are changing between you and sae and you’re not sure if you like it.

005.

it’s been a few days since the whole ordeal with you and sae in bed together. your management gave you guys a few days off just to keep things at bay with the paparazzi after the whole fiasco of you almost fainting because of the sea of paparazzi outside trying to take photos.

your manager did end up checking up on you that day just like sae has mentioned. you told him off that you were fine and just needed more resting before you can resume with your work. he reluctantly agrees and goes ahead and reports your status with your company.

reo and yukimiya also came over for the past few days. just to check things up with you after your pictures were published for the public. you had a talk with your two closest friends about your current situation with sae.

yukimiya was a bit unsure for you while reo advised that they’ll be there with you for every decision you make. he also opted that you two should have an open forum about each other’s whereabouts since the break up. clearly you still had unanswered questions.

sae was out again for his daily practice. although he did tell you that he’d be back around the afternoon.

you take this opportunity of being alone to actually think about everything for the past week.

this few weeks has been a whole rollercoaster. not only you’ve been reunited with your ex, you had to be in a “fake” relationship with him again for the media, and now it’s like you and sae were back to your old routines all those years ago.

a part of you does miss being able to call sae as yours, not just for the sake of the cameras but just because you really do love him and you want to be with him, but this time for real. yet, another part of you is scared that maybe there’s a catch to this. maybe in the end sae was just using you for his own sake.

you made a promise to yourself that you were not gonna have him play with your heart like that anymore. not again, never again.

but here you are, willing to take the same risk again. the things you are willing to do just to call him yours.

because at the end of the day, it will always be itoshi sae.

no one else has your heart the way sae has it.

you barely notice that sae has arrived back from practice til he was waving a hand in front of your face.

“y/n” he jabs a finger at the side of your head, an amused look on his face. “what are you thinking about?” sae hums, plopping down on the couch next to you.

“nothing much, just about life”you hissed, clutching the spot he just poked you. you leaned back on the couch, stealing a glance at sae but you made eye contact instead. immediately you looked away, feeling your cheeks heat up.

sae snickers next to you, a small smile on his face as he takes a good look at you.

“having a midlife crisis at your young age?” sae pokes your sides making you jump. you let out a little yelp, causing sae to smirk.

“don’t even think about it sae itoshi— AH!” you hold your hands out in defense mode. you know that devilish look on sae’s face. sae’s fingers reach your sides before you could even finish your menacing (not) threat.

your laughter fills the living room.

oh how sae missed this. how he missed coming home from practice and to have you wait for him. how sae missed you.

sae stops tickling you to let you catch your breath. barely even noticing the position you two were in. he was on top of you, hands on each side of your head. your cheeks painted red, chest rising rapidly as you try to control your breathing.

“can i kiss–”

the front door slams open to reveal reo and yukimiya in tow with some food.

“y/n! we brought you some food!” reo happily chirps, setting the food down on your kitchen counter. sae’s eyes immediately widen and rushes to get off of you. he stumbles and falls on the floor, just right in front of reo’s feet.

reo and sae make eye contact. reo awkwardly smiles at the now embarrassed sae.

but sae being sae, he brushed it off like he was in the middle of push ups.

“... and 50. 50 push ups done” sae puffs, pushing himself off the ground, pretending to wipe the non existent sweat on his forehead and ushers away to his room. not missing reo’s comment before he slams the door shut.

“i’m gonna just pretend i didn’t see you fall right in front of me” reo cackles, wiping a tear from his eye. “anyway y/n, we got you some food. i forgot that athlete was living with you sooo.. it’s up to you to give his share” reo shows you the amount of food he just got you.

yukimiya giggles behind him. he pulls reo to the side before giving you his infamous smirk

“reo, we gotta go now” yukimiya smiles slyly at you. he takes a good look at your ruffled shirt, flushed cheeks and messy hair.

“what? we just got here!” reo complains, looking back at yukimiya, who points out your current state. he then whispers something to reo that you obviously can’t hear. you stand there with your arms crossed, eyebrows raised as you wait for your two best friends to fill you in

“i’m literally right here” you rolled your eyes.

“oh!” reo gasps, eyes wide as he seems to put two and two together. he covers his mouth like he just witnessed something scandalous.

you were about to open your mouth to say protest against what allegations yukimiya has of you but both reo and yukimiya bolt out the door. yelling about how they were sorry for disturbing something while cackling.

“those bitches..” you muttered, shaking your head. you walk over to the kitchen to go through what reo just got you. of course it was his favorite steak with some side dishes.

“are they gone?” you hear sae call out from his room, his head poking out the door.

you laugh, “yeah. you can come out now”

you hear the door open and sae comes walking in the kitchen with nothing but sweatpants. you let out a squeak as your hands fly to your eyes, covering them from seeing sae’s half naked body.

sae scoffs at your reaction. “you’re acting like you aren’t used to it”

“was used to it” you correct him. sae’s mood drops a bit. you awkwardly fiddle with the hem of the plastic. taking out the plastic containers to at least lift up the now sour atmosphere.

sae looks at the meals you’ve settled down on the counter. “from reo?” he asks, going ahead and taking out some chopsticks.

he must be starving from coming home after practice.

you slid the plastic container that held reo’s favorite steak to sae. his eye widens and shakes his head. he pushes it back to you. it becomes a silent tug of war. sae ended up losing because you were starting to get upset and he can tell by the way your lips are jutted out and you were pushing harder, causing some of the sauce to spill out.

“okay, damn..” sae mutters, accepting his defeat. you let out a victory cheer by dancing a little in your seat. sae couldn’t help but smile. now here you were, watching him chomp down the food reo initially got for you.

“let’s head out somewhere” sae says, poking you with his chopsticks. you swat his hands away as you scowl at him. going out all of a sudden after he just ate?

“where are we going?”

“places”

you look up at him unsure. you didn’t really want to go anywhere this week knowing that paparazzi might be up on your asses again. you weren’t gonna risk your health again for just some dumb post

��but we’re on break with posting though” you protest. was sae really serious about heading out?

sae pouts and looks at you with pleading eyes. something he only pulls when he really wants to do something or get his way. something you couldn’t resist. you guessed old habits really die hard

“please?”

you avert your gaze elsewhere because those teal eyes are only trouble for you. you hear sae sigh beside you and you realized that was your last straw.

“fine”

you look back at sae who had a small smile on his face. his face screaming “i know you still can’t resist me” and quite frankly you wanted to punch the living daylights out of his smug face.

“i’m not gonna get dressed up or anything though. just a hoodie and a hat to keep our identities hidden” you say, getting up from the barstool to head over to your room to get an oversized hoodie and your hat.

“wasn’t counting on it” sae says, humming to himself that he got you to agree.

it didn’t take long for you guys to get moving. you two were now on your way to wherever sae was taking you. even if you kept asking where you two were going, sae simply shushes you and tells you to just sit back and relax

you were leaning towards the window, watching the city skies fade as you two drive aimlessly around the city. your phone connected to his aux, softly playing some tunes in the background.

your eyes peer over to sae who had one hand on the steering wheel, while the other was used to prop himself up against the window. you find yourself smiling at the memories going back to you.

the old late night drives with sae just to clear your minds.

the route sae was taking you felt awfully familiar. you sit up straight and looked outside to see that you were going up a familiar hill. you snap your head towards sae. sae catches your stare and winks at your direction.

the car eventually comes to a stop. sae silently turns off the car and gets out with you following behind him. there you realize where he took you. sae took you back to your favorite spot to get away from it all. the hilltop where you can get a whole view of the ever so busy city of shibuya.

the same place sae asked you to be his,

the same place sae broke things off with you,

“what are we doing here, sae?” you ask, sitting on top of the hood of his car. sae follows suit. he sits next to you, observing the view in front of him.

“to unwind” he says flatly, putting his hood on. you can’t help but look at him. what did he mean by that?

“you looked pretty occupied today, so i just thought i’d bring you here-”

you furrowed your brows, “then why here?”

sae stays silent. the sound of the city filling your ears. you can’t help but think that it was now or never. it was the perfect time to get things across. for your own peace of mind, and for the sake of it all.

it was silent between you and sae all of a sudden. you almost wanted to laugh at how ironic it is that you’d end up in this place again for the third time in a row with the same person.

‘how nostalgic’ you think to yourself. you get up from the hood of the car and walked towards the wooden fence. just to get a clearer view and to get some air that you so desperately needed before talking to sae.

“you know, this reminds me of the time you took me up here for the first time,” you start, kicking the rocks just by your feet. sae’s ears perk up at the sudden mention of the memory.

“i was so happy that day. to think we’d last for over five years. i was the happiest when i was with you, sae” you continued, smiling to yourself as you recalled everything.

sae can’t help but feel there’s more to what you’re saying. he can’t help but anticipate the bomb that you were about to drop.

“til one day, you brought me out here again. this time, to break up” you turn around to face sae who had an expression you can’t comprehend. his hands were stuffed inside the pockets of his hoodie

“you broke me that day, sae” you breathe out, looking up at the moon. “and to think not even two weeks later i see you with someone else” you let out a laugh. to sae it sounded forced.

“i hate you, sae itoshi” you finally look at him again, sae averts from your hard gaze.

“i hate how you took all my firsts, i hate how you talk to me with that voice, i hate how i know your morning routine better than anyone else, i hate how you always opt to cook because you know i suck at cooking, i hate how you know me like the back of your hand..” you list off, with every list you say, you take a step forward.

“i hate how even after all these years, even after you hurt me, even how you broke me to pieces, i hate how i can’t ever find myself to hate you” you finish. a teardrop running down your cheeks.

“i hate how i still love you..” your voice was shaky. your hands were trembling, here you were, confessing your heart to the guy who initially broke it.

you broke your promise to yourself.

with a deep sigh, you fixed your composure. you harshly wipe the tears that were running down your cheeks before turning your back on sae again to face the city you live in.

“i just have a question for you, sae…” you take a deep breath. finally. you were gonna get the answers to your questions. those times you’ve doubted yourself, those sleepless nights wondering where it all went wrong, nights where you ask yourself if you were ever enough for sae..

you were finally gonna get your well deserved answers.

“why? what did i do wrong? was i not enough for you?”

sae silently moves towards you. he pulls your head to his chest where you freely the tears fall.

you push him off of you, you were not gonna let yourself be fooled much longer.

“was it worth it, sae? was throwing away our years together worth it?” you seethed, tears pricking your eyes.

sae’s eyes widened, “i–”

“you know sae, even if i was in a room with all the people i love the most. i’d still choose you and you all over again. i will always choose you, sae” you cut him off, trembling. words shaking as you are basically spilling your heart to the guy who broke it into a million pieces.

sae’s heart breaks at the scene before him. it was too late for him to realize the damage he has done to you. for you to act like this.

“that’s why i agreed to be in this fake relationship with you. i wanted to find out why you did this to me, to us” you admit, tears now fully flowing. “i just..” you weren’t able to finish what you were trying to sae as you sob in front of sae.

“why sae?.. just, why?”

you barely notice sae approaching. the next thing you knew, he pulls your head to his chest.

“shh… let it out” he says, his free arm rubbing your back as you cry your heart out. finally, after all those years, it felt good to release everything. like a million bricks has been lifted off your shoulders.

sae pulls away, cupping your cheeks as he wipes the tears pouring down your cheeks with his thumb. his eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips.

“don’t look at me like that, sae..” you say in a low voice, almost like a whisper. peering away from sae’s eyes.

sae slowly leans in and before he knows it his lips are just ghosting over yours. without a second, sae smashes your lips together.

your eyes widened. you wanted to push him away. you put your hands on his chest ready to push him away, but something in you is stopping you from doing so.

how you missed this. how you missed sae

how sae missed this. how sae missed you

you pull apart, catching your breath. you look up at sae to see him crying too. he cups your cheeks, caressing them with his thumb.

“i’m sorry” was all he could say. he puts his forehead against yours, teal eyes fixated on yours. you can tell with his eyes that he was sincere. sae was also shaking as he holds you, his whole body language screaming guilt.

“i was young and stupid. i thought i’d be better off without you but i realized that i wasn’t. it was too late by then.” he explains, looking down at your feet instead of meeting your eyes.

you put your hand over his, squeezing them. relishing in the moment of two ex lovers putting the past behind them.

“i tried reaching out for you, you know?” sae brings up, laughing to himself at how stupid he sounded. “but knowing you, i knew you’d probably act like you never existed. i had to find out the hard way” he scoffs at the end.

“eventually, the stars brought me to you again” sae finally looks at you in the eye. “i took that as a chance to try and redeem myself. i think it failed though,” sae admits sheepishly, “i was persistent. i wanted you back and i did everything i can just to keep you with me”

you listen to sae stumble with his words. he’s trying. he’s actually proving that he was genuinely sorry for everything.

“i never stopped loving you, y/n” sae admits with a sad smile, “i never did”

you tear up again at his confession. because frankly, you were the same.

sae opens his mouth to say something but instead, you crash your lips against his. sae doesn’t move for a second but relaxes as soon as he realizes what was going on. he instantly wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you close as he can.

“i love you,”

“i love you too,”

you two find yourselves basking under the moonlight once again. fixing and treating each other’s wounds as you two try again. this time you two are sure that whatever you two have planned for each other, you two will make it right.

006.

the sound of an alarm blaring through the room wakes you up from your sleep. you feel some shuffling behind you and suddenly the room turns quiet again.

“did i wake you?” you hear sae’s morning voice ring through your ears, sending a shiver down your spine. you let out a small whine, nodding your head yes.

sae chuckles, and tightens his hold around your body under the covers. “good morning to you too, baby” he kisses your cheek.

you open one eye before twisting your body around to face him.

“morning..” you yawn, leaving a trail of kisses from his jaw to his adam’s apple.

“still didn’t get enough from last night, hm?” sae teases, rubbing circles on your hips. you feel your cheeks heat up. you slapped his chest before turning your back on him again.

“our managers will kill us if we’re late” you remind him of your schedules for the day. you sit up, slipping on his shirt that was lying on the floor, recalling last night’s events. you looked at yourself from the mirror to see some love bites all over your neck up to your chest. a gentle reminder that you were now his again.

“they can wait,” sae murmurs, slipping his hands under your (his) shirt. you let out a giggle before pushing his hands off of you.

“sae come on!” you tug on his arm as you two head out to your bathroom.

after what seems like an hour or so due to sae’s rowdy hands. you two finally arrive at the red carpet of the luxury brand you two have modeled for.

the screams of fans fills your ears as you wait in of the car and onto the red carpet where a line of reporters were waiting.

sae, being the gentleman he is and a marketing genius, he obviously makes a scene for your entrances. he gets out of the car first and holds out his hand for you to take. the audience goes crazy as you two make your entrance.

“sae, y/n! over here!” you hear a bunch of reporters yell out. lights, and flashes all around.

you and sae stop at the first reporter on the line. he greets you guys with a smile before starting his short interview. it was the usual questions about the brand and you guys feel about being the new faces of it.

“well, clearly they have a good eye for casting both y/n and i as the new faces for their brand” sae answers for the both of you, his arm wrapped securely around your waist.

the interviewer gushes at how cool his answer was and proceeds to ask you another question.

“my, my, my, miss y/n. you look lovely as usual but i can’t help but wonder, what does it feel like to be back together with sae itoshi?” he asks, intrigued, his microphone on your face.

you look at sae for approval and he simply smiles and motions for you to say whatever you want to say.

“well, it still shocks me til this day that i got back together with sae” you joked, making the interviewer laugh at your response and sae who fakes being offended. you laugh at his reaction before answering seriously,

“but seriously. i guess it’s true that if it’s meant to be, it will be” you smile, showing off sae in front of the camera to which the interviewer loves.

“what an answer from, y/n! well you heard it here first folks!” the interviewer beams in front of the camera, “i wish you two never ending happiness. thank you for letting me interview you guys!” he waves off, finding another celebrity to interview.

you and sae both smile and wave him goodbye as you two continue along the red carpet.

“do you really mean that?” you hear sae ask beside you. he was busy waving for the cameras. you let out a little giggle before waving around for the paparazzi and cameras around.

“mean what?”

“what you said about if it’s meant to be, it will be” he quotes you, tucking a stray hair behind your ear sending the audience and the paparazzi in a frenzy again.

“it happened to us, didn’t it?” you smile, motioning to your current situation.

sae was yours again, and you are his.

just how it should be.

bonus!

you didn't consider how awkward it actually was to be working on another modeling gig with your boyfriend.

especially when the poses instructed by the photographer and way too intimate to be imitated in a semi-public setting for your liking.

“what are you being stiff for?” sae holds in his laugh, seeing how motionless your poses are with him. “it’s awkward when theres people around..” you say through gritted teeth, praying to the gods that this shoot will finally be over

“it’s not this awkward when we do this alone though..” sae seductively whispers, lowering his head just right at the shell of your ear.

the photographer squeals in joy at the amount of shots he got from that pose alone.

you feel your face burn up in embarrassment.

“sae!”

#blue lock imagines #blue lock x reader #bllk imagines #bllk x reader #sae imagines #sae x reader #sae itoshi imagines #sae itoshi x reader #saeved

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slytherizz · 3 months

Text

Playing God - Auror!Sebastian x Dark!MC

Tags/Warnings: 18+ | Non-Con | explicit sexual content | Dark!MC | Polyjuice Sex

All tags can be found on Ao3

Word count: 6.4k

Summary: Decorated Auror, Sebastian Sallow had not anticipated how his life would diverge so sharply from the woman he once loved, the most wanted and notorious witch in Britain. Or how their paths would continue to cross - their fates still bound together.

A/N This fic has been living in my WIPs for about 6 months...I wanted to reverse the dynamic of my longer fic with Sebastian being the Auror this time and in doing such explore some darker themes. Short multi-chapter that will probably end up being three chapters at most.

She was pretty enough he supposed in a homely sort of way.

Petite, with neat shoulder-length hair that brushed against narrow shoulders and, a soft bow to her overly thin top lip. But her dress was old-fashioned, a severe high-neck buttoned almost to her chin, ruffled layers of her underskirts impractical and lumpy. Layers upon layers, of an unflattering shade of yellow washed out her otherwise pleasant features.

Compared to the other witches that would frequent such a seedy establishment with their low necklines and light skirts, she would be considered dowdy.

If it wasn't for her eyes. Keen and alert as if beneath the sheep-like exterior lurked something dangerous. He most likely would have overlooked her too.

To even the keenest observer it wouldn't look like Sebastian had any particular tastes when it came to women or men. Much to his displeasure, the qualities that drew him in were rarely mere aesthetic.

Barked laughter like an ill-tempered hound. The smell of mallowsweet. Aromatic and earthy. Teeth pressed lightly into a bottom lip like they held all the cards in a game no one else knew they were playing. Until they spread the winning hand. Smile so wide it unnerved, bore too many teeth.

Tonight, it was keen and dangerous eyes that reminded him of her.

They shared no other similarities and from what Sebastian could discern from her well-manicured nails, and unblemished skin, bar a pale line around her finger where he supposed an engagement ring would usually sit - this was no fighter.

This was a proper young lady - who had wandered onto the wrong side of town looking for a sensible amount of trouble as her wedding day, most likely to some equally wellbred suitor, loomed over her like a dark cloud.

As if Sebastian were screaming his thoughts at her across the crowded tavern, those sharp eyes flicked their attention to him. Raked over the thinning patches of his civilian cloak, the shadow across his jaw, the dark circles under his eyes he'd given up glamouring. After years they were as much a staple of his face as the freckles on his nose.

The marks of a man who hadn't enough time to shave let alone visit a tailor, a man who would scarcely have enough time to ask her too many intrusive questions.

She smiled. Jarring was the only way Sebastian could describe how her face seemed to split horizontally across its centre. Neither half quite belonged to the other. The demure and polite curl of her lips was offset by the razor-edged scrutiny of her darkened gaze. Predatory. Hungry. In a way that made his mouth go dry and cool sweat beads on the back of his neck.

Ice clinked against the side of his glass as Sebastian knocked back the remaining dregs of whiskey. Disguising the way his lip twitched at the corners under the weight of her eyes. Amber liquid burned his throat was nothing compared to the heat prickling across his skin.

Sebastian held up two fingers to indicate to the Barmaid over the raucous patrons of the pub. She placed a second glass on the bar filling them both with a more than generous pour.

"Cheers," Sebastian said, placing the coins into her hand, a little extra for her trouble as he always did. The barmaid smiled brightly, flushed and preening, over a few extra sickles as if he'd declared some great love for her. Though he supposed generosity was not a trait of many that frequented the Ogre's Arms. She leaned a little further over the bar than was strictly necessary, her fingers linger too long against his palm as he hands over his sickles.

Sebastian did not miss the way that the strangers' eyes tracked the interaction. As swift and deliberately as he had been trained to be with every motion, he slipped his hand from the barmaid's grasp deftly hooking his fingers into the rim of the grotesquely full tumblers as he spun on his heels.

Whatever the poor girl had been about to say faltered in her throat. Crackling out of life like a dying gramophone. He really should have felt some sympathy for the poor girl.

She'd made her fondness for him quite obvious over the years. Despite how Sebastian would sidle out the door with what must seem like any witch but her. Too worried about any kind of arrangement that would ask for more than he was willing, or able, to give. Nor did he wish to find a new hole to drown himself in.

And regretfully - her gentle honeyed voice and hopeful doe eyes that delivered longing glances had never stirred anything inside of Sebastian. As much as on some nights he wished they would.

Sebastian weaved through the sparse gathering around the bar of the more rambunctious patrons. Turning a blind eye, to the corner booth and the two witches poorly disguising their face under their dramatic hoods, exchanging money, a rather suspicious-looking sack at their feet which gave a periodic shudder and what looked like spines protruding from the burlap. It may be his job to investigate suspicious behaviour such as this but- he'd rather not have to explain to his sergeant exactly what he was doing in this pub in the first place.

Approaching her solitary table nestled in the corner, she inclined her chin up towards him. Smug. Sloped oak beams cast a thick shadow, and candlelight flickering against her cheekbones made her features waxy like an oil painting against a grimy canvas.

"May I?"

She tilted her head, as though she expected nothing else but was amused by his gesture nonetheless."Only because you brought a bribe."

Sebastian hooked the heel of his boot around the chair leg pulling out further. Placed the two glasses on the table as he sat, careful not to spill any against the oak surface. Not that it would be such a shame if it did. Cheap whiskey from a smudged glass was hardly a waste.

Sebastian tipped his glass to her in toast, she did not feign even the slightest interest in her glass or his hollow act of chivalry.

"I haven't seen you here before," Sebastian said.

Flexing her fingers, she admired those well-polished nails. "No. I don't suppose you would have."

West Country. Quaint. As out of place amongst the sea of London accents as her dress was from this decade. Confirming a very important fact for Sebastian she was certainly not from around here. For the best.

"This doesn't seem like the place for such a nice young lady such as yourself."

Chin resting on the back of her delicate hand. A feline grin spread across her face, as she lowered her voice conspiratorially. "Nor the place for well respected Ministry men."

Tension seized Sebastian's shoulders. Unnerved by her perception, his eyes darted across the sea of faces. He'd left the scarlet cloak with the gold badge adorning his lapels in his flat long before he'd made apparated to the bottom of Knockturn Alley. Places like these didn't take too kindly to rozzers scrambling their clientele. Nor would he want it to become common knowledge at the Ministry that he frequented grimy drinking holes on his off hours. He was certain she'd been alone but that prickle of unease had his hand reaching towards his wand.

She caught his arm swiftly, delicate fingers folded up the cuff of his cloak. Ministry insignia branded into the tan leather strap that secured his wand to his forearm.

Chuckling breathily to himself, Sebastian felt the tension ebb as, just as swiftly, she turned down the sleeve. "Half the people here carry their wand tucked up their sleeve. You have a keen eye, to have spotted that mark from halfway across the room, lass. Do you make it a habit of checking if every man who approaches you is an Auror?"

Sharp eyes glinted with mischief. "Only the ones that interest me."

"Must be my lucky day." He leaned in closer, bitter whiskey breath disturbed a loose curl around her ear as he whispered. "Unless there's a reason you have to be on such high alert for authority I should know about?"

"Do I look like the kind of woman who would have much trouble with the law?"

He cast his eyes down, at her unblemished hands. Free of callouses and scar tissue, the tight restrictiveness of her bodice ill-suited for battle, her polite disarming smile - even those eyes, so reminiscent but not quite right. Despising the remorseful pang in his chest. Nothing like her.

"Well if that's the case this," he gestured around the damp crooked hole masquerading as a tavern. "Certainly isn't the place for you."

"Nor you. Unless the requirements for holding such an esteemed post has gone severely downhill and they let swindlers and murderers into their ranks." He almost winced at the sting of the insult she unwittingly delivered.

"Perhaps lurking around in dingey bars with terrible whiskey isn't suited to either of us. Perhaps, upstanding members of society that we are, should go somewhere we can feel more…relaxed."

"And where exactly is there such a place for me?" Most women would have covered that glaring tan line on her finger, under gloved hands or glamour, but she seemed to flaunt it as she ghosted it across his knuckles; an invitation.

Sebastian's grin widened. "I have a few ideas."

"I don't have much time. So you better make every minute count."

***

Sebastian unlocked his front door with a snap of his fingers. Gestured her inside, his hand pressed into the small of her back. She inclined her head towards him, a smirk playing on her lips at the hollow politeness of his gesture. Knowing full well his intention of inviting her back to his flat was far from gentlemanly.

Exaggerated skirts shifted as she stepped inside. Soft lamp lights scattered around his living room sparked to life in welcome illuminating the small living area. Her formal attire looked out of place; more suited for high tea than the sparsely filled space Sebastian inhabited.

Files strewn across the long velvet settee, scattered teacups and candles burned down to the wick littered every available surface. He knew the larder would be just as barren save for some tea bags and a half-empty bottle of gin the department had cobbled together to purchase for his promotion. He didn't even like gin. The presence of female company always seemed to highlight just how every inch of his flat screamed bachelor.

Sebastian shrugged off his cloak, hooking it on the back of the door. Never once taking his eyes off her. Odd little creature that she was. Against the faint moonlight that trickled in from the arched window on the far wall, her face cloaked in darkness, she cast a dramatic silhouette.

Not quite her. No. But her dress despite its bulk could not disguise the dip of her waist, an alluring swell to her chest. With her face masked from view, he felt his drink-fogged mind teeter dangerously on an edge he would not let it wander past.

She'd bent down, and pinched the corner of a piece of parchment he'd discarded the previous night between her thumb and forefinger. Sebastian slipped his wand from the holster. With a flick, the paper pried itself free to rejoin the rest which were shuffling themselves back into their file before shooting across the room into the waiting drawer of his bureau. The gold lock clicked shut, locking them securely away with an audible snap.

Her head whipped around, her chin jutted out in irritation, and her eyes narrowed slightly into a glare. Sebastian shrugged, as he unbuckled the holster on his arm, placing it on the narrow kitchen island. "Classified information. I'm sure you understand."

Sebastian couldn't have nosy witches trawling through his case files. He'd seen plenty of Aurors sacked for lesser sins. And reporters from the Prophet certainly weren't above seduction tactics to get their stories. That knowledge did nothing however to stop the tingle that spread down his spine that the defiant look in her eye ignited in him.

"I suppose." She shrugged, a forced display of indifference. Before proceeding to further inspect his residence. Striding about like she owned the place and Sebastian was merely some troublesome tenant.

The cramped flat he'd started renting in London straight out of Hogwarts could hardly be considered a home. Sebastian never planned to make it one. Or stay for as long as he did. Merely a stepping stone, at the start of his career. Close to the Ministry, so he could collapse after a long day.

Eat. Sleep. Breath. Work.

That desperate desire to prove himself more than what he'd been. Never satisfied with his lot in life. By the grace of Merlin, he'd been given a second chance to make himself a man - his parents, his sister, that he could be proud of.

He had planned to settle down eventually. Fix the decaying bones of his parents' old house on the hill with her by his side. Both were now a faded, hopeless dream. Sebastian's life had rarely gone to plan.

Tracing a finger across the well-worn spines on his overstuffed bookshelf she pondered each title with interest. "Quite the collection you have. Some rather questionable titles you have here for a man of your profession."

"Special Ministry approval. They're charmed to be bound to my place of residence - before you get any ideas. Can never be too prepared in my line of work. Knowledge of magic of a more…delicate nature can be the difference between life and death."

Strictly speaking, this was not a lie. Any Auror worth his salt would have at least half the books in Sebastian's collection on curse-breaking, dark magic and deadly creatures. Admittedly, his robust library wasn't necessary for his career nor was all of it purely academic interest.

Eyewitness accounts of skinwalkers he'd picked up on a short trip to America, liaising with the MACUSA on their rising troll problem. Journals, written in the maddening scrawl of a witch who'd fancied herself a revolutionary scholar. Wanted to test the corruption dark magic had on the soul. Daft bugger used herself to test her theories. Now all that was left of her was crammed into a bachelor's bookcase.

Smallest in number and size, a thin collection of children's stories and a letter correspondence from crackpot conspiracists. He'd been too late to salvage anything that remained of Miriam Fig's research and this pitiful array was all that he'd discovered over the years with any reference to Ancient Magic. A small house fire could destroy what Sebastian could only assume was the largest collated materials on the subject.

It had been foolish to try to love her, but perhaps more still to hunt the vengeful wraith.

"Well read. Good career. Seems you are a rather eligible bachelor-"

Sebastian smiled moving closer towards her. "I'm not bad to look at either."

"Despite your proclivity for skulking around dingey bars. It's unusual to find a man such as yourself…unattached."

"What can I say - I'm married to my work. Not much time for anything else; not many witches would put up with the lifestyle long-term. Never been interested in marriage."

Liar.

She looked up at him through dark lashes, from how those sharp eyes stripped him back until he was raw and exposed - she scented his dishonesty. "Sounds like a lonely life."

"Depends on who you ask."

Sebastian leaned heavily on the shelf above her head, elbow brushing against well-loved spines. His calloused palm slipped around her waist, running up her side. Felt the curved bones of her corset under his thumb. Leaning in closer still, enough that his breath disturbed the loose curls around her temples. Her lips parted, tongue dancing along her bottom lip as she tilted her chin up towards him like a cat basking in a warm breeze.

She didn't waiver. Not a single flicker of hesitation in those sharp, piercing eyes. For a moment, Sebastian pitied the man who intended to marry her. But not enough to stop him from capturing her lips.

Tasting the tang of cheap whiskey in their mingled breath. Not a slither of remorse as her delicate hands found the nape of Sebastian's neck. Used chestnut curls to pull him closer to kiss him more deeply. Their breath was little more than stolen gasps for air and an opportunity for her tongue to seize and slip past parted lips.

Sebastian crowded her further against the bookshelf. Held tighter to the bunched fabric of her skirts, hands fumbling desperately to feel the shape it disguised. Frustrated by the garment, his lips left her mouth. Travelled down to her jaw, her breathing hitched, head tipped back to thunk against the shelf as Sebastian nipped and sucked at the column of her throat. A little too sharply. But she only pressed into him further. Blood and bruises bloomed wild across her skin as his teeth grazed along her heightened pulse.

He knew what it was like to try to ensnare creatures such as this. How they bit when cornered. Fool that he was, he desired to tame them, change their nature; almost as much as he craved to be bitten.

Maybe that was why he held her so firmly in his grasp. Petticoats balled in his fists, as he pressed himself awkwardly against her. Her dainty form didn't quite fit the stocky mould of his own.

Not that anyone witch or woman had since.

Not that she seemed to care. She pulled Sebastian in like he alone was hers to drink from. Like he belonged to her and she would bend and break him to fit her. Some part of him prayed she succeeded. He'd snap every bone in his body, boil down his sinew in the hope that when at last he healed - he would fit another.

Sebastian pressed his mouth into the crook of her shoulder and burrowed his face, inhaling deeply, as he mouthed at her skin. Soft and supple as an over-ripe peach. Desperately, pathetically trying and failing to make himself fit. But the bridge of his nose bumped harshly against her clavicle and his back ached from stooping.

He'd never melted into anyone since her. No matter how many times he tried with countless trysts with all the ways they reminded him of her in their laughs, smiles, and eyes - they were not her.

Pained groan against her shoulder. Cloth ripped as he tore past her outdated petticoats and the silk of her undergarments. Desperate hands kneaded at her bare flesh. Thigh. Hip. The curve of her arse. Every inch of her skin grew hot, flushed under his touch. If Sebastian had been in his right mind not addled, by drink and frustration he would have handed it to her; for such a wellbred lady, she did not startle easily or cringe from his working hands. With a strung-out whine, she simply displaced the torn fabric so Sebastian's knee pressed between her thighs could provide her with more friction.

Sebastian sank to his knees, hooking her thigh around his broad shoulder. Balanced precariously, her back pressed against the stacks and her leg suspended quivering. Heel dug between his shoulder blades as she sought stability. Her limbs were lean…soft. Delicate like a lamb. No coiled muscle battle worn and firm disguised under her skirts.

That did not stop Sebastian from groaning against the sparse hair as he nestled himself between her thighs. Her muscles clenched tighter. Not with apprehension. No. With blinding unhindered desire. Whining breathlessly, as she urged him to fulfil his role, drop any pretence to do what they came here for. This was no budding romance. And there was no time to pretend otherwise.

Sebastian's tongue darted out teasing the tip through her folds. Eagerly seeking out her bundle of nerves to curl his tongue under her hood. Satisfied, a mewl passed her lips to at last have Sebastian where she desired him most. Hips bucked and writhed with every broad stroke and teasing lick against her soaking entrance. Brown tresses tangled harshly in her grip, those neatly filed nails scratching encouragingly against his scalp.

Her taste was unfamiliar on Sebastian's tongue, but he only lapped at her more fervently. Desperate. As if he savoured enough of her desire for him - he could burn away the memories of sweeter nectars.

Bunching her skirt closer to her stomach, Sebastian's view of her was unobstructed. The collar pulled open where she'd made swift work of the buttons of her high neckline; they hung like loosely strung pearls cascading down her chest which heaved with every breath. Breasts dimpled against the restrictive tightly laced corset.

Sebastian's eyes flicked up to meet hers. Not the right shape or hue but that intensity to them. Storm raging across a riptide, Sebastian, vulnerable in their depth. He could drown in them and would do so gladly.

Blood rushed south, and Sebastian groaned low, pained. He sucked on her clit, coaxing more slick to coat his lips and chin. Hoping beyond hope that her eyes locked on his would flutter closed in pleasure. Her mouth was ajar, each drawn-out moan growing louder as she approached her peak. Clever calculating gaze fixed on Sebastian. He knew he was exactly where she wanted him. Prey to her predator. His cock strained and achingly hard because of it.

Her back arched against the stacks, toes curling against the centre of his back, legs shook with the strain to hold herself upright. Sebastian was relentless. He devoured the quivering nub, tongue teasing as he sucked. Her passionate cry was unrestrained, legs threatening to buckle bringing her down like a house of cards as she collapsed over the edge. Aftershock of pleasure rolled over her, he kept a firm grip on her hip as she rested more heavily against him. His desire for her is confusing and just as precarious.

Sebastian unhooked her leg from his shoulder, palms running along the backs of her calves. She was still propped up feebly holding herself against the bookcase. Pads of her fingers clutching pathetically at the shelves with the ball of her heel holding purchase on the floor.

Orgasm ebbing, softening her predatory edge. A smirk played at Sebastian's lips as he looked up at her once polished appearance now dishevelled. Rattling, with a lust-drunk gaze that defiant chin hanging slightly ajar as she greedily gulped down air.

She narrowed her eyes at his smug expression and gathered her composure before slipping her ruined dress from her shoulders letting it puddle at her feet. Nail digging under his chin as she beckoned Sebastian upwards, pulling him in.

It made Sebastian's heart beat wildly against his chest. A caged canary faced with a falcon.

Teeth grazed his bottom lip, tongue seeking his own. Sebastian's clothes fell away easily from his broad frame. His shirt was discarded, followed by breeches which tangled around his ankles as they fumbled towards the settee. Muffled grunts into her mouth every time her palm grazed his cock, hard and throbbing, through his undergarments. Sebastian moved to lie her swiftly across the settee. One hand pressed into the small of her back the other tangled in amongst the pins now falling loose from her hair.

Inexplicably, she moved faster than Sebastian thought she was capable of. Leg hooked around his ankle like a snake pulling him off balance. Backs of his knees connected with the settee as his legs buckled and Sebastian collapsed bodily onto cushions. Rarely with his extensive training did anyone get the jump on him.

Her lips curled as she observed the way his enlarged head twitched against his belly more eagerly. "Now, I think it's my turn." Laces from her corset pulled loose, she let the camisole shift to the floor with it. "-And you looked far too pretty beneath me."

As she straddled his lap, Sebastian spluttered on his groan and the intoxicating sensation of her wet centre against his shaft. Her palms were flat, braced against his chest, nails scratching at the coarse hairs that grew there. Every inch of her soft, naked flesh pressed against him. His hands settled on the curve of her hips, sliding along her flushed skin with hands that seemed too large.

She really was quite pretty. Sebastian just wished the parts that didn't remind him of her made his heart race as much as the ones that did.

She caught his lips, fingers cupped against his jaw, her mouth moving against his. Teeth and tongue. Hot breath came out in short dulcet pants as she greedily tasted the remnants of her arousal on his lips.

Her hand snaked down between them, taking Sebastian's throbbing length in her hand. He hissed, as her thumb smoothed over the leaking slit, aligning him with her entrance. Eyelashes fluttered a satisfied sigh, as she sank down, taking him inside of her. Dainty as she may appear, she appeared to relish the stretch to accommodate his size, almost as much as he did. So tight she gripped his cock, it almost sent him hurtling over the edge.

Barely giving herself time to adjust before she canted her hips. Weight shifting so she could slide up his shaft until only the head of his cock remained before sinking back down onto Sebastian's girth more demandingly. Needy grunts reverberated in Sebastian's chest as he matched her frantic desperate pace. Forehead braced on her chest as he bucked his hips into her tight core. Pebbled nipple caught between his lips, her head thrown back in a wanton moan as Sebastian ever so gently grazed the peak with his teeth.

Sebastian closed his eyes. Whiskey fog coupled with the godly feel of her clenched around him, he relaxed into her eager pace. Inhibitions lowered, his mind straying to the well-worn path he rarely let himself tread.

Face striking contorted in ecstasy; a savage beauty like lightning striking the ocean. Mallowsweet scent; that soothed like a botanist's herbal balm. How perfectly her body wrapped around his own as if by design. Sebastian's teeth pressed hard against his tongue as her name danced upon it. With his eyes closed, hands held back - that shameful part of him could pretend it was her.

"Sebastian," the witch moaned. He didn't remember giving her his name. Nor asking hers. The voice he heard was not that polite West Country lilt but one conjured from Hades - his divine pleasure and punishment.

Can't let it be her.

Sebastian forced his eyes open, to look at the woman from the bar. Her neat hair, narrow shoulders and thin top lip. Only to find the lines separating fantasy from reality blurred and contorted. His stomach lurched.

Maybe he'd had more to drink than he thought.

Whiskey had crowded and garbled his senses as well as his inhibitions. Sebastian's vision was merely blurred. She looked like her. Not just in her eyes but the sloping curve of her neck, the arch of her nose, her hair longer and tangling against the neat pins that had once held it back.

It's all the whiskey.

If he could bring himself to look away from her face for even one moment he would see the room spinning. But he couldn't look away.

Those keen eyes bore into him, locked with his own and he swore they changed colour. The fire that had been smouldering within sparked, roaring, melting her irises into that familiar hue.

He didn't just have to squeeze his eyes shut to see her and pretend it was her impossibly tight walls clenching around him with every thrust.

There she was.

"You," Sebastian spluttered, disbelief tight in his chest. "No. No- It can't be you. This can't be happening." Who cares if he sounded mad? His mind was spiralled and scrambled, desperate to bring back the visage of the woman from the bar and right himself. This face; her face didn't waver. She rolled her hips once more, bottom lip tucked between her teeth as she cast her gaze down. Over her breasts and the faded scar that curled under the left from the crucio, he'd administered. Firm muscles of her legs earned from years of battle. Calloused hands of someone who knew little of comfort. All were once again her own.

Sebastian's world was spiralling, tipping on its axis. Tension in every muscle in his body. Still as beautiful as she was in his nightmares, even the ones where she tore out his heart. She clicked her tongue, amused then smiled. So wide, it bore too many teeth.

Fucking exquisite. Sebastian despised the way his heart faltered in his chest.

"Pity. I guess the kneazle's out of the bag," she purred, teeth raking sharp across his earlobe. So sharp it shocked his spiral back into sickening clarity like ice in his veins.

Like a shot, Sebastian wrapped his hand hard around her throat forcing her face away from him. Thumb pressed harshly into the corner of her jaw with his iron grip on her windpipe. Any sane woman would tremble to have his large hand like a vice around her throat in anger. Cower, under the venom in his eyes.

But she was far from sane; perhaps never had been. She gasped involuntarily choking around where his fingers so deeply pressed into her flesh, but the smile on her lips never faltered despite how he could feel the hammer of her blood against his fingertips.

"You should know I don't share," she wheezed. It wasn't the polite West Country drawl she'd adopted at the bar - but that feminine purr he knew far too well. Velvety, like a caress that sent shivers down his spine; and if it were possible simultaneously made his blood run cold and his cock impossibly stiffer where it was sheathed deep within her. She whimpered approvingly, hot breath ghosting his freckled cheeks.

"Fuck- how did you-" Choking on his groan as she expertly rolled her hips, grinding on his cock. Evil, manipulative witch. She knew exactly how to turn practically every rational thought in Sebastian's brain to smoke.

"Polyjuice. She was pretty don't you think? You seemed to like fucking her while it lasted. Maybe not as much as that curvy redhead from a few months ago...I had bruises on my thighs for weeks."

Somewhere deep in his psyche, Sebastian knew he should push her off. Bind her. Gag her. Put as much distance between himself and her and the mixed-up way she made him feel. Preferably in a cell in the deepest part of Azkaban the Ministry had long ago allocated for her when they signed the warrant for her arrest. At that moment, over the cacophony screaming through his head the only coherent thought was how to keep her desperately bouncing on his cock.

"I thought it was my turn to have some unsanctioned fun."

No - rose, bubbled and died in his throat. Caught somewhere amongst the shameful rasping groan as she began to rhythmically rock her hips. Never quite releasing her entirely, but Sebastian's grip on her throat loosened as his muscles slackened in shameful pleasure.

Using every bit of her newfound leash, she leaned forward to kiss him. Sin, like ambrosia on his tongue. Lips slotted against him, they moved in perfect harmony to a melody he wished had never been composed on his bones.

She wrapped around him as if the wild thing that she had always been had sprouted from the earth, and curled her tendrils around him. Or rather, like a constant wave beating against him she'd worn his surface. It was a marvel he hadn't crumbled into her sooner.

"You're mine you know," she cooed, her breath hot against his ear.

"I am not," Sebastian spat. But try as he might to deny it, curse her until his final breath - his words rang hollow. And he loathes himself all the more for it. She was not his any longer, but something else. Twisted by cruelty and power that simply wore the face of the woman he once loved.

Shame stirred in his gut; desire coursed through his blood.

"Denying it doesn't make it any less true. You know me blind. When my face is not my own. Fate has bound us, Sebastian. Just as I would know you in any life."

Sebastian gritted his teeth, cheek pressed against her sternum. Fingers digging into her shoulder blades, as he pounded his cock up into her harder, faster. If he was stronger, he would not be prey to her illicit designs for him - but he was not. She keened, greedy to take all he could give her. Consume him entirely if she could. Sebastian closed his eyes and cursed himself for being weak.

Vision narrowing, Sebastian groaned, low and pitiful into the curve of her neck. Ashamed of what he knew was coming. "I hate you," he cursed. Repeated it like a mantra, his lips against her sweat-salted skin as if he could transcribe the words onto her flesh.

Deep plunges into her warmth growing erratic as Sebastian's coil tightens. Her body clenched, tightening around him, with every thrust teased against her sweet spot coaxing more slick onto his cock. His punishing words merely rolled off her curves like water off a duck's back.

"S-Sebastian," her hoarse cry pierced through his resolve. Sebastian bit into her neck trying and failing to hold back from the precipice of the inevitable. Unwilling to surrender any more of himself to her. It only served to send her hurtling over the cliff. His cock buried deep inside of her, her head thrown back, cunt quivering as her climax broke. Orgasm, wracked through her in waves. Engulfing Sebastian's every sense.

Fire and Brimstone. Gentle breezes and mallowsweet.

Beauty. Terror.

Rhythm faltering, Sebastian's hips spluttered as that mounting coil finally snapped. Her name on his lips, her scent on his skin. Everything that remained of Sebastian Sallow was consumed entirely by her. He came hard - with a broken pathetic whine that forced itself from his body as he spilt inside of her.

It was no little death - it was all-consuming. A part of him would never come back from. Another piece of his soul surrendered along with what was left of his dignity.

Sebastian fought for breath. Unforgiving waters filled his chest, ice seized his joints, heart thundered as dark edges clouded his vision, threatening to drown out the light and sound. Choking on his saliva he wheezed, shoulders heaved forward violently. Fresh tears pricked in his eyes.

She shushed his soothingly, thumb tracing idle patterns on his skin with a sickening gentleness that curdled his stomach. He whined pathetically against her chest but she only gripped him harder. Fingers carded through his hair as she hummed a sweet tune peppering kisses to the crown of his chestnut hair.

Perhaps, in another life, he had the strength to overcome the guilt and sickness now seizing his bones. In another, perhaps there was no deception to be ashamed of.

He wasn't sure how long they sat entwined, soft cock still inside her, his spend leaking onto his thighs matting in the hair. When at last Sebastian's violent sobbing eased he felt the enchantment stretch across his body, taunt ropes strapped his arms to his sides, and bound his ankles. A chaste kiss against his temple as she slid from his lap.

Sebastian watched her and tried to pretend for a second, that he was not bound, she was not mad and hips swaying hypnotically as she pranced naked around their flat as she did every Sunday evening. Not his. Theirs. Another life, unstained by dark magic where she was still his.

Fussing with her dress, eyebrows pinched together, frowning as she examined the shredded yellow gown. She sighed, holding the unlaced corset over her breasts, gathering up the remnants to haul them to the kitchen island. She found his wand, with its emerald and onyx handle, the one that had belonged to his paternal great-grandfather. Back and forth she toyed with it in her hands.

"Put that down." A feeble attempt at a threat from a man bound, naked, cheeks streaked with stale tears. Tight from salt they felt stretched like a drum.

"You ruined my dress," she pouted. "The least you can do is help me fix it."

Traitorously, Sebastian's wand didn't so much as shudder in retaliation. It obeyed her easily, stitching up the splintered seams, her corset tightened, cinching at her waist. Her hairpins reorganised themselves. She looked almost like her old self, the girl she'd been at school, with a spark of fire in her eyes that mirrored his own.

"Before you go running off to the next little witch who bats her eyelashes at you, Bash. Try to remember - I don't share." She placed his wand back on the counter and slipped a canteen from her purse. She drank deeply. Gagging, hand smacking into her chest to keep down whatever foul liquid it contained.

If Sebastian had still been drunk the way her face bubbled like stew on a boil would have turned his stomach. Her lips thinned, her hair shrunk back into her scalp, her scars paled and her muscles softened. The woman from the Pub returned, exactly as he'd met her. It did nothing to quell the sickness churning in his gut.

"Au revoir mon amour." She was gone as quickly as she came, but her presence lingered like a gaping, festering wound.

Sebastian sat in the dark. Hatred for her that he cultivated in public and the private yearning he tended to as it grew like persistent weeds in his garden he tended had given way to emptiness. A void that for a time he was content to let swallow him whole as he stared at the cracks in his floor. Mourning the woman he'd loved. But most he mourned for himself, for all she took from him.

Shadows inched across the floor as dawn eventually broke. Long after the bindings had dissolved. Sebastian hadn't slept or moved for hours and his joints stiff, groaned as he got to his feet. He trudged to his bathroom and ran the water until it was scalding. Intent on scrubbing his skin raw. As if she could un-touch him.

#Please mind the tags #dark fic #sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow x mc #sebastian sallow x f!mc #hogwarts legacy fanfic #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #sebastian sallow fanfiction #sebastian sallow smut #sebastian x mc #sebastian sallow fanfic

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tomieafterdark · 1 year

Text

“euphoria 18+”

here’s my masterlist if you want similar content, or even worse cough sacrilege cough darker themes <3

pairing: succubus!reader x Kaminari x Sero x Bakugo (all are aged up 21+)

summary: succubus drugs Kaminari and Sero with her blood that is like a drug and aphrodisiac to humans. (It’s a part two for the first official fic I ever wrote, you can find it here)

cw: blood sucking, biting, body worship, kind of noncon (reader manipulates Kaminari and Sero with her succubus powers and drugs them with her blood), use of good boy, pretty boy, blowjob, noncon filming.

🍬 DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS IF YOU ARE A MINOR. BY CONTINUING TO READ, YOU CONSENT TO VIEWING ADULT CONTENT AND THE DARK CONTENT STATED IN CONTENT WARNING 🍬

Bakugo had messaged both Kaminari and Sero about his and Kirishima’s night with a certain succubus. They wouldn’t believe him, as if sex demons even existed. Bakugo told them to come to his party at his new frat house tonight and he’d show them…

Sero and Kaminari walk up to the door, the party can’t have started long ago and there’s already a drunk guy passed out on the lawn.

“Yo, you okay dude??” Kaminari says as he pokes him with a stick that was laying around the guy.

“Try electrocuting him to life” Sero suggests.

“Hey that’s a great idea” Kaminari’s eyes light up. “Why didn’t I think of that..”

They didn’t even notice Bakugo behind them. “Don’t even think about zapping my guests, we’ll handle that extra later.”

“Oh hey Bakugo” they both say in unison.

“Soooo, where’s this succubus cutie you told us about?” Kaminari says with his hands in his pockets.

“Be quiet idiot, people can hear you. She’s inside though, humans are not supposed to know about her so you better keep your mouth shut. Both of you. Got it ?”

“Yes” Kaminari says, and Sero nods.

Bakugo leads the guys up the stairs, quickly opens the door and practically pushes them in because he can hear people walking up the stairs. They both fall face down on the floor.

“Hey Bakugo! You didn’t have to push us like that” Sero says, face still looking down at the floor. He hasn’t noticed you, the stunning succubus on the bed yet. You’re tied up and gagged wearing nothing but black lacy lingerie, with your legs behind your ears and your hands tied to your ankles. It’s just a safety precaution though, until the guys get to know you better. Bakugo had a feeling the two guys might fuck it up and become your next meal..

”I heard people walk up the stairs. I could either risk it or push you guys.”

Meanwhile Kaminari is in awe, he just witnessed you. He grabs Sero’s shoulder to lift him up but is too shocked to say anything so he just points at you.

Sero laughs. “Did you and Kirishima seriously put horns on her?? You went all in with this prank. Look there’s even wings and a tail poking out!”

“Who cares if it’s a prank she’s so hot” Kaminari says, as he steps a bit closer to you. “But..why is she all tied up and gagged Bakugo?” he stares at your barely clothed cunt, you’re wearing a black lace thong and it really doesn’t cover much. Just the way he likes his girls.

“We tied her up because she’s dangerous, I don’t know if a couple of wusses like you can handle her. Last time me and Kirishima fucked her she was weak and easy to handle, until she got energy. Then she went rogue. You should get to know her a bit before you can fuck her.”

“Hmm you underestimate us Bakugo” Kaminari says, as he inspects you further. He still thinks you’re wearing a costume, but you look different. “This is a good costume” he says as he touches you all over and pulls on your horns. “Wow these things are on tight.” You moan through the gag.

“Looks like she has something to say, let’s remove that gag and see what the fake demon will say” Sero laughs and walks over and removes your gag without a second thought. You bite him, you bite so hard his hand bleeds.

Bakugo rolls his eyes. Of course these two idiots would screw up this badly.

“AH fuck!” He says trying to remove his hand but you keep his hand in your mouth, eventually sucking some of his blood and Kaminari is laughing his ass off.

“Dude just remove your hand, it’s not that hard” he says and continues laughing harder.

Sero is mildly panicking. “Bakugo?! A little help please?? Why is this bitch biting me. Did you just pick the first girl you found on the stree- AAAH” you bit him harder this time.

Bakugo starts to record what’s going on, to show Kirishima. “What an idiot, and she managed to suck his blood. She’ll turn both of them into her slaves now that she has even more energy” he texts alongside sending the video of Sero getting bit by you.

Kaminari ends up using his electricity quirk on you lightly to make you stop biting Sero, surprisingly it works but not because it scared you... “Bakugo, are you sure she’s not here against her will? She bit Sero..” he asks in a confused and mildly worried tone.

“Why don’t you ask her” he replies back while continuing to text Kirishima.

Kaminari takes a seat next to you, ready to lightly zap you again if you act up. “Why did you bite Sero? Are you here against your will???”

“I’m not here against my will I just wanted to see if your friend over there tastes as good as he looks” you say in the most beautiful voice the guys have ever heard. All the blood you took from Sero made you the most powerful you had ever been so far in this version of earth. It made your voice way more hypnotic than it already was before you bit him.

“Yeah because biting me is a good first impression.” Sero says glaring at you. “Weirdo.”

“I didn’t bite hard. It’s just a scratch..by the way your blood tasted nice.” You shoot him an evil grin, knowing how it’ll make him feel and react.

Sero looks creeped out. “Yo what-“

Kaminari seems more into it. “Dude she’s freaky, if she likes to taste your blood what else do you think she’ll like?” He is looking at Sero with so many disgusting scenarios in his head not knowing sex demons can sense peoples dirty thoughts to some degree. You grin at him.

Sero just looks back at him looking like a human question mark with a mild hint of fear still left on his face.

“Well think about it” Kaminari grins as he grabs one of your thighs and slaps it. “She’s all tied up and has her legs spread and she’s not complaining, who cares if she thinks she’s a demon or that she bit you she’s probably very freaky. Ain’t that right pretty girl?”

You moan in reply as he keeps grabbing and pinching your thighs, you can feel yourself getting wet.

Kaminari stares in awe, and starts to pull on your thong to get a good view of your bare pussy. Meanwhile Sero is just staring, deep down he is intrigued. They both haven’t realised that you’re an actual succubus and not just someone dressed up as one, it gives you more dominance over them. Your pussy clenches, and you can read Kaminari’s reaction like a book when it does. He wants you so bad, he is so eager he’d skip all the foreplay and get straight into it.

“Untie me, I want to touch you so bad but the restraints aren’t letting me..” you say while pouting. This was the ultimate test, to see if he is a weakling that will let you dominate him and take all his energy or if he’d think twice before untying you.

Of course he unties you, he thinks with his dick right now and dick only. He has no idea what’s coming, to him you’re just a freaky human girl. You lean in for a kiss when he unties you, he kisses back passionately. He wastes no time, grabbing your waist to pull you on his lap to make out with you. He is so lost in you, he didn’t even notice your wings fluttering in excitement. But Sero notices.

“What the fuck?” Sero looks at you wide eyed. He thought maybe you have an illusion quirk but this looks and feels way too real. Before he can get anything else out you look back at him as Kaminari is practically worshiping your upper body, kissing every inch.

You lock your pink glowing eyes with Sero’s, and say “come join the fun Sero.” As you reach your hand out to him. Sero can sense your energy has shifted, it is so sinister yet alluring. His mind is warning him but his body has already started moving, the closer he gets the more hazy his mind gets. He starts kissing your back and giving hickeys to your neck, you’re loving every moment. You give Bakugo the look and he knows it’s time to start recording, this will be a night to remember. His friends will thank him for recording this because chances are they won’t remember everything because of what you have planned.

You’re grinding on Kaminari’s fully hard cock now, and pushing back grinding on Sero’s at the same time. You can sense every blood cell rushing down there and you want to drain both of them so bad, but you’re forcing yourself to take it slow. Every now and then you can’t help but do lewd nasty faces into the camera that they’re still not aware of, with Bakugo smirking back at you.

You grab both of them by their hair and pull them in for a three-way makeout. They can’t get enough of you, hands all over your body. Kaminari has one hand on your tits squeezing and grabbing, while Sero’s hand is rubbing your clit over your panties.

You stop kissing for a second and their faces are showing confusion and neediness, they want you so bad it’s cute. “Since I tasted Sero’s blood it’s only fair he tastes mine” you say and throw him a devilish look. You grab Sero By his jaw and hold him in place like that. “Open your mouth and stick your tongue out.” You command. He does it, you can see the lust and excitement in his eyes. You bite your finger and neon pink blood drips down, you let exactly three drops on Sero’s tongue. “Now swallow for me like a good boy.” He was so needy for you he didn’t even care that your blood was neon pink, it’s like he forgot humans have red blood and not just any colour. He just swallows like the good boy he is.

You throw a look at Kaminari. “You too pretty boy.” You smirk. Kaminari just blushes in response and opens his mouth sticking his pretty red tongue out. You put three drops of blood on your tongue instead and stick it into his mouth, making out with him until you’re sure he got enough blood in him.

The rest was up to them. You can manipulate your blood into affecting people like drugs, what type of drug is up to you. This time the drug was meant to be euphoria inducing but also manipulate their sexual energy into being stronger. More energy for you that way. You watch as their energy becomes more incubus like, more hellish, more dark, more dense and passionate. Kaminari’s eyes are glowing with lust and desire it almost has you cumming on the spoot when he looks at you with them. And Sero, previously freaked out Sero looks like he is ready to rip you to shreads. “Now we’re talking” you think to yourself.

You slip down on your knees, pulling both of them closer by grabbing their belts. As you start unbuckling you can feel their stares at you, it’s like they’re not even there it’s just lust and desire possessing two human vessels. Bakugo gets between them with the camera, pointing it right to your face. You smirk at the camera and start giving it what it wants.

You take both of their big rock hard cocks into your mouth, at once. It’s so big, you have to give it to them they’re really giving you something to work with. Kaminari moans and pushes your head further down on both of their cocks, they smirk at each other for a second before they both thrust into your mouth at once. They think they’re the ones in heaven, under the influence of your euphoric blood but you’re having an even better time. All that sexual energy, all that pent up aggression and passion. All of it is yours. You start bopping your head faster, you want more and you want it now. This is nothing. While your blowing the literal energy out of the two, Bakugo makes them hold the camera as he goes behind you to give you even more pleasure. He pulls on your wings and tails aggressively, causing you to moan loudly. You moaning over their dicks makes them twitch so hard inside your throat, you feel like they’re about to cum any second now. As you’re keeping eye contact with the camera, you take both their dicks out of your mouth for a second to show them what your tongue alone can do.

Your tongue gets longer, glowing pink. The glowing pink is just more energy to put them deeper into pleasure, make them lose their fucking minds more than they already have. You wrap it around their twitching cocks and go up and down making them moan loudly. Sero looks at you with pure bloodlust and it has you feeling some type of way. You did know how to read humans well but you didn’t expect this out of Sero. You want them cumming at once though so you’re edging Sero because he is way too close right now, it’s pretty easy to control him when he is under the influence like this. You can see the struggle on his face, he thrusts harder and harder he keeps getting closer but that one inch of infinity between him and his goal keeps standing in the way. You chuckle to yourself, the more he struggles the more energy he musters up. You take your tongue off of them and start jerking them off with your hands, when you look at Kaminari you notice he is close too.

“If you want the privilege of cumming into my beautiful mouth you have to beg. And you better fucking mean it.” You say staring at the two desperate guys in front of you.

“P-please—fuck-“ is all Sero gets out as he is desperately jerking his dick into your closed fist. What a pathetic weakling. He wants to cum like this and not even wait to get your pretty pussy? Oh well.

You look at Kaminari next. “What will it be pretty boy do you want to cum or not?” You say as you squeeze his dick tighter and jerk it. He is so close he feels all his energy leave his body yet no fucking orgasm. The torture is real.

“Make me cum please, I’ll do anything just let me cum. I don’t know what the fuck you did but I’m going crazy, I need it so bad I’ve never wanted it this bad-“ he whines.

Looking back at Sero, you can see he is about to pass out if he doesn’t cum soon. Too much edging means too much pent up energy and with your drug like blood in his system it can get dangerous. His mind is hazy all he wants is to cum he would do anything right now to get it. Before you let them cum you take a look at Kaminari. “Use your quirk when you cum in my mouth, it’ll feel so good for you, okay?”

He just nods frantically as he pants forcing himself to not pass out, he doesn’t even know why you asked or what you’d get out of it he was just so needy. He looked so hot right now, trying his best to cum and not pass out, jaw clenched as he is thrusting his hips into your fist too giving out the most lewd sounds.

You take both of them into your mouth again, at once and let them cum. You swallow it all, not letting a single drop go to waste. Kaminari’s electricity mixed with all that cum is heaven, you wished all guys had this quirk. You moan hard over their dicks, making them twitch and milking even more cum out of them. When you’ve emptied them completely, you try to get them to thrust again, to overstimulate their cocks even more but they’re so tired they end up passing out on the bed before even putting their pants on. You stare back at Bakugo, pouting.

“I am still hungry Bakugo…you promised me a good meal.” You whine.

He rolls his eyes, he knows exactly how this will end up. His cock is rock hard though he should not let that go to waste, he should just go with it and be a good friend, help out this poor hungry succubus. “Alright brat” he says as he walks over to you. He grabs you by the wings and bends you over on the bed, with the camera in his hand.

You arch your back and push your ass onto Bakugo. “Time for round two” you say into the camera with the most exciting tone.

#mha smut #bnha smut #Sero smut #Sero x reader #Kaminari x reader #Kaminari smut #denki smut #katsuki smut #bakugo smut

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sofasoap · 1 year

Text

Heartbreak

Pairing : Din Djarin x f!reader. slight description of injuries on Reader otherwise no other physical descriptions.

Summary: The only time Din says no to you. Din sucks at communication. Part 1 of the Series.

Slightly AU-ish, he didn't get N1 after Razor Crest got blown up. he got something similar.

Warning: Mature theme. strong languages. angsty.

A/N : I seem to be writing all the Din fic for the University students at moment to push them on ( Trust me, I know your pain. been there done that) @groguspicklejar and @deakyjoe, this is for both of you. GET YOUR ASSIGNMENTS GOING!!

MASTERLIST For sequel to this series

Din couldn't say no to you.

First time he met you, you were a mechanic work in a dingy workshop on the planet of Coruscant.

Din can sense you don't belong there at all. You were too... pure? Radiating this aura that has him guessing you were originally from a good family, slight Naboo accent seeping through as you speak, no matter how much you try to hide it. Judging from the huge scar you have running from the base of your jaw towards the bridge of your nose, you must have a story behind how you end up here. But it's not for him to probe. Everyone has their own secret.

"Alright, Mandalorian,All those carbon scorings we have tried and removed, that is no problem. But, " You wipe your sweat away from your face as you reading the report from the holopad of all the damages to him. " Your Hyperdrive is on its way out. It's a miracle it actually lasted this long." Lowering your voice, " I have replaced few parts here and there as well, it's on the house. Just don't tell my boss." You winked.

Din insisted on paying for the extra components. But again, you wouldn't budge, saying you manage to reuse the parts you salvage from other older imperial ships that has been sitting in the corner of the workshop , for makers knows how long. " It's taking up space anyway. you are actually doing as a favour getting rid of it."

He couldn't say no.

Thanking you, he went on his way.

Two cycles later, he is back again. To the same shop.

This time he can sense something is different.

The owner came out and greet him. Different person, Din noticed. Part of him wonder if you were still there.

The owner yelled towards the corner, your head popped out from the speeder you were working on. Spotting Din with the owner, your eyes went wide slightly as you hurryingly came and answer his call.

"Hello Mandalorian, I see your back again. Your hyperdrive is still functioning?" Din was surprised you still remember him. But then, how many Mandalorians are left out there around the galaxy?

He watches you as you walk around with the holopad, running diagnostics. Tapping away, you were mumbling something to yourself, making a few notes as you go along. You look sadder, more tired. You are not as happy.

Same as last time, You explain to Din the hyperdrive is still the main problem, also the most important thing, Carbonite freezer is leaking. This is going to cost him quite a bit , he sighed, but both important components for his ship he just have to throw the money in and get it done.

"I am sorry I wouldn't be able to give you any freebies this time... my.. new boss.. isn't as nice." You lowered your voice.

That confirms his suspicion.

Few days later, after the repair has been done, you begged Din to take you with him as your owner was not looking.

" I am not a taxi service."

" Please, I will work for free, I can maintain your ship.. I have enough credits I can take care of myself.. I wouldn't be a bother. I just need to get away from here."

The way you were looking at him, how can he say no?

He later thanked himself for it.

Din was suppose to drop you off at some mid-rim planet as per agreement, but time goes on, he feel comfortable with your presence. Not only you were an excellent mechanic, saves him a lot of time and credit to find a planet with a decent workshop, you worked your miracle to keep the ship flying with no problem. You can even cook, keeping the ship nice and clean, Din even trust you with his weapon maintenance as time goes on.

Along came the little green munchkin.

You ease into the role of caretaker smoothly.

Hell, what else can you not do? You take care of the child like your own. Taking care of his needs, feeding him, cleaning him, teaching him lessons, history of galaxy, sciences, mathematics. Din not quite sure how much the baby really understand or taking in, but he love watching your interaction with the child. Reminds him memories of his own childhood, whatever little bit of memory he has left with his birth parents before the attack.

He especially loves it when you recite stories and sing songs to the child.

Your angelic voice.

"Sorry Mando, Do you mind if we can buy more books or holopads of stories and lessons so I can teach the child? I still got enough credit I wouldn't waste any of yours.." You timidly ask him one day.

He ended up paying for the the stuff you asked for. How can he say no to you?

The longer you spend with him, you feel there was something simmering between you two, but never acknowledged. Both of you were too scared to say something, to break the equilibrium, breaking that little temporary happiness the three of you formed, a family. Clan of three. Clan mudhorn.

He gave you a vibroblade once,

“ For protection. Blaster isn’t always going to be effective.” He commented.

You turn the blade over, you notice the corner of the handle, there’s a mudhorn signet engraved on it.

You want to ask him about it, but he already walked off after you look back up at him.

You were hurt. Din was hurt. There seem to be a gap between you two after Grogu has left for the Jedi training. Both of you were trying your hardest to recover from the emptiness. You kept yourself busy doing work around the ship as per usual, but Din, already a man without too many words, seems to shut himself out from you even more than before.

He doesn't want you anymore. Just like your family. You are no more use to him. Mind is a dangerous thing.

This is for the best.

" Mando... We need to talk."

"......" " I been thinking..."

"......"

"it's time for me to leave." " NO."

"what is the point of me staying when Grogu isn't here anymore?"

" NO."

" Why not??? You been ignoring me since Grogu left... As if I don't exist! Just let me go Mando... please.. " you sobbed.

You left that night. Despite him saying No.

Din thought Grogu's departure broke his heart, your departure absolutely tore his heart out.

But who can he blame apart from himself for pushing you away? His clan of three has fallen apart.

“Hey Mando! I see you are back with your little green thing!! Come to Aunt Peli!!” Grogu happily ran towards Peli, jumping into her hug.

Din’s heart healed a bit after Grogu returned from his Jedi training. But there’s still an empty part in his heart that can only be filled by you.

“So what is the problem this time round Mando? Hyperdrive again? You are in luck! I have someone new started working for me lately, she is absolute master fixing old imperial space junk like your ship!” Din rolled his eyes.

A voice piped up behind an old engine.

“ I wouldn’t say I am total expert Peli, it just happen I have a lot of.........”

Din snapped his head towards owner of the voice.

It was you.

You froze on the spot once you spotted Din.

Grogu let out a happy squeal and jumped out from Peli’s lap and ran towards you with his little short leg. You crouched down and scoop up the little child that you admit you miss so much. He let out happy coo and noises, as if trying to express his happiness to see you and trying to tell you all the things been happening since you last saw him.

“ I know little pea... I miss you a lot too. Have you had a good time with Master Luke?”

“ ... Why are you here.”

You turn your attention back towards Din. Frowning at his accusation tone, you stood up and face him.

“ I work here. That is why.”

Peli walked over and carefully extract Grogu from your embrace.

“ Come on you little thing.. Aunty Peli got some sweets for you... let the adults talk.” Shooting you two a glance, she walked off with Grogu into the office while all the droids followed her.

Din clenching his fist. Part of him was glad he has finally found you, by pure accident, and the stubborn part of him was furious you left without a proper goodbye, or even, left even without his permission.

“Why did you leave.”

“ I thought i stated it very clearly that night, Mando.”

You know his real name. but you never use it. He hates that. It put that extra distance between you two.

“ I didn’t give you permission to leave.”

You point a finger at his chest and spit out with anger “ OH, So I need permission from YOU to leave? What are you? My master and I am your slave?” Din flinched, him and his damn mouth.

“I will fix your ship up. After that. Leave me alone.” You turned around, walking towards his ship, trying to end the conversation.

” ... have you still got the blade.” You heard him asking as you walk off.

”..... yes.”

You were going to leave it on the ship the night you left, but you couldn’t bring yourself to.

Take it as a souvenir. Something to remember him by. You said to yourself. You try to convince yourself.

But you know the only thing you left behind that night was pieces of your broken heart.

I was going to leave it as sad ending but I think someone will kill me if I did... * looking at @deakyjoe * I might do a part 2 to this tomorrow.

Thank you for reading! Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated :D

#din djarin #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin x you #din djarin x f!reader #grogu #mandalorian x reader #mandalorian x you

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gargoyleandgremlinpress · 8 months

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My final Fanfic Writers' Appreciation Day package has been delivered! Ten Prides in Portland by Leiascully and Simple Machines by coffeesuperhero continue the Leverage OT3 theme I've got going on this year. The fic aren't necessarily a series, but are thematically connected, and also the authors are married to each other. (It happens! My wife and I met writing Due South and Hard Core Logo fanfic lo these many years ago!)

There are some similar things I adore about both these fics. I love the sort of playing with structure in both of them, and watching the characters evolve, and also, seeing the queer community in all of its heartfelt messy occasionally infuriating glory. I also adore the thoughtful Eliot character exploration.

First off, Ten Prides in Portland! What it says on the tin. Ten years post-series at a certain brewpub in Portland, as Elliott finds queer community and figures himself out. This book is the reason I now have rainbow ribbon for bookmarks. As you can see, I went so very literal with this one. Homemade book cloth, acrylic paint, and cardstock endpapers printed with a map of Portland.

I had way too much fun with the layout on this one! It was an easy theme to lean into.

Eliot navigates a relationship with two people he loves, runs a restaurant, and figures himself out. I love the character dynamics, the cast of queer characters, and the way the second fic in the series is structured around brewpub menu items. The titles are from the iconic Mary Oliver poem Wild Geese, which is where the bird theme comes from. I used a really lovely fancy liquid mirror silver paint for the geese on the cover, which is gorgeous in person but hard to photograph.

More geese! Some menu formatting! Also, a food-themed illustration at the beginning of each chapter to match the menu item. (Thank you, stock images on The Noun Project.) This was another fun one to play with.

Not pictured here for either book: the insurmountable printer issue I was having where any page with an illustration turned out extra-dark, and the flip side was correspondingly lighter. BUT. I'm still pretty pleased with how they both turned out, happy to have both of these on my shelf, and even happier to send them off in a set together to the authors' hands.

Happy slightly belated FFWAD, Leiascully and Coffeesuperhero!

#fanbinding #ficbinding #ffwad 2023 #fanfic writers appreciation day #renegade loves fic #leverage fic #leverage ot3 #eliot/parker/hardison #operation: give queer characters queer community #ten prides in portland #leiascully #simple machines series #coffeesuperhero #just another really elaborate fic rec

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ozzgin · 4 months

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Gosh I love your yandere!bodyguard x idol!reader, especially how she seems a bit sadistic; it’s so cute and the fics are so well written. I just finished part II of the fanfic and I kid you not, I got butterflies in my stomach. How about a scenario where reader on purposely flirts with other men, just to tease the bodyguard? Maybe she’s in a mood to witness a little bloodshed, and is curious to see how her bodyguard will deal with his jealousy? Thank you so much, all your works are amazing :) have a wonderful day!! <3

I’m very happy you liked it! 🩷

Your scenario idea had me thinking, would the bodyguard be upset if Reader tried to flirt with others? I mentioned in a previous post that Reader knows her bodyguard better than anyone else. So then it would make sense that it goes the other way around, too. What I’m trying to say is, all the innocence and fear displayed by Reader is really more of a show and they both go along with it. The bodyguard is very much aware that Reader is rather sadistic, deeply enjoying his violent acts, and it could be one of the reasons he likes her so much. He’d be tempted to say it’s a match made in heaven.

So it wouldn’t exactly be anger or jealousy. He’d probably smile to himself, finding it cute that Reader went all the way out to tease him (he knows she’d never leave him) and he’d be extra creative with his victims in order to please her. Naturally he’d act devastated, similar to how Reader pretends to be scared for her life. But in reality he’s having a lot of fun with her gory games.

I was trying to come up with a proper story for this and coincidentally star anon 🌟 just sent me a brand new request a few hours ago, haha. I think it has the perfect context for your jealousy idea, so you can expect it covered in the third part! Myself, I’m a bit clueless when it comes to idol themes. The only idol anime I’ve ever watched was, well, a parody. Gokudols, where three yakuza brothers massively fuck up and are forced by their boss to get reassignment surgery in Thailand to become idols and bring money to the Family. So I am grateful for all of your prompts, saves me a lot of work in a field I’m not too knowledgeable about. :)

#yandere bodyguard

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ghosttotheparty · 11 months

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ok i have an idea but i don't feel like writing the whole thing as an actual fic so here's me talking ab famous!steddie

modern au where post upside down/saving the world eddie and corroded coffin gain popularity in the metal scene bc of eddies dropped murder charges and everything

steve and robin start making music too but it starts as just a way to make extra money; they play at local bars and cafes after leaving hawkins; steve writes songs and robin picks up piano and guitar p quickly (i assume w how good she is w languages shed be good w instruments too) but after a while she wants to stop when she gets a job so steve learns guitar himself and he keeps playing by himself

they both get big but they're in such different scenes (eddie is metal obv but steve is more like noah kahan midwestern loneliness vibes) that no one knows that they know each other but there's a consistent thing where ppl compare their lyrics and how similar they are

theres even a game ppl play on tik tok where they read some lyrics and ppl have to guess whose music its from (ppl know that eddie is the songwriter for cc and that steve writes his own music); their music both follow themes ab like mortality and lost faith and like kinda fantasy ish stuff (heroes and villains etc)

its not until theyre both present at some award show that ppl start wondering if they know each other; steve is being interviewed on the red carpet whatever but eddie walks by behind him and they both get kinda distracted watching each other pass bc they haven't seen each other in years and steve has to have the interviewer repeat the question; the clip of them looking at each other goes viral and ppl are speculating ab how their expressions change when they see each other (eddie almost smiles and his eyes widen a little, and steves lips part and he fully loses his train of thought until eddie is out of sight)

(and maybe steve wins something and someone catches eddie in the crowd just gazing at him w very wide eyes and a soft smile that looks almost fond)

and then a tik tok goes viral where some girl named madison hagan says she found her dads old high school yearbook and would you believe that eddie munson and steve harrington both went to hawkins high school and they were only a year apart and oh my god they totally recognized each other at that award show holy shit--

#someone write this i beg #i have too many wips to do it myself but i might write a snippet just to write some song lyrics #like maybe a tik tok of some kids playing that guessing game #steve harrington #eddie munson #eddie munson prompt #steve harrington prompt #stranger things #stranger things prompts #steddie prompt #famous!steddie

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angelltheninth · 2 years

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Brat tamer/Daddy Dom/ Primal with our favorite radio demon? 🎶

Primal you say? Well you're in luck Anon, primal/feral characters seem to be a new thing that I've been enjoying lately.

Pairing: Alastor x Reader

Tags: nsfw, biting, scratching, possessiveness, rough kissing, marking, rough sex, rutting, predator/prey

A/N: I don't know what it is but characters that go wild on their partner and give them all the warm love afterwards have been extremely alluring to write lately. I currently have a Kiba wip with a similar theme and a Lightcanon fic that's a bit like that.

Alastor is normally pretty well composed and calm

He likes being in control not only of others but also of his instincts, which at rare times do get the better of him

But he had managed to keep them at bay, at least for long enough to get somewhere where he could be alone

That is until he met you

Since then his needs have gotten stronger and stronger

He likes to make you squirm, make you whimper, make you... scream

He won't seriously hurt you, oh no, never, bites, scratches, marks all over your body, your moans and cries next to his ear, that's what he wants

When he's feeling extra possessive he will pull you into a kiss in front of others as well, making it well known to everyone that you're taken

He loves it when you fight back a little as well, he loves a challenge, and he knows you love it too

When he pins you down, when he holds your wrists above your head, when he ruts into you until the line of pleasure and pain blurs, that's when you sound absolutely divine

If you do cry at any point during it, if he gets too rough, he'll always make it better

He loves taking long baths with you after sex, kissing every bruise, every mark he left on your body

When he takes you back to bed he'll kiss you from head to toe and back again

Always has food ready because he knows that you'll both be pretty tired by the end of his rutting session

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor #alastor x reader #alastor headcanons #alastor imagine #alastor smut #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel imagines #hazbin hotel smut

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quaranmine · 2 months

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I know I already commented this on AO3 but I literally cant stop thinking about this fic and I so want to talk someone's ears off irl. Cuz holy fuck. I just absolutely the characterization in the story. The voice and expression of Grian is just so palpable and well-written. You sympathize for the guy even as he digs himself deeper into the abyss. Like, I know from the beginning, from playing Firewatch, that there is no conspiracy, just circumstances. But you understand where Grian is coming from, you hope that he is in some ways right, that Mumbo is still out there (doesnt help that Im a mumbo main lol). At some point, part of you just believe the conspiracy along with him even as everyone else, including the back of your own mind, tells you otherwise. And the other part wants to grab Grian from the other side of the screen and shake him til he realizes. That fucking dread of in some way knowing the ending just created that underlying layer of tension when reading. And, as someone else has pointed out, Grian's agency in his search for Mumbo being like denied somewhat fits in so well and just hits home that, nothing is really in his control, that its all just an accident. Its that gut-renching punch and realization that is stuck in my head after reading chapter 11. And im glad that chapter 12 presents some closure and breathing room. Its not the ending, but its an ending and a start. The melancholy of the last chapter, of Grian's acceptance and him finally meeting Scar. All of it is just, GOD. Anyways, excuse my ramblings, I love this fic and its genuinely one of the best Ive read. You did an amazing job.

THANK YOU!!!! I love this review of my work so much, as well as your AO3 review :)

I like that you bring out that having played Firewatch clued you in on the lack of conspiracy. I know the game's ending is controversial, but I actually like it a lot. I love the way the game makes you paranoid and how the remoteness of the setting reinforces that. I love how it's just a story about broken people running from their problems. Whenever I think about the game, I think about this Medium article I read (massive game spoilers.)

And so with this story, I didn't want to do the same thing as the game's plot, but I wanted to harness some of the same themes and explore them in my own way. I think the fic works well alongside the game because it sort of complements it, neither requiring prior game knowledge to read nor spoiling the game--but having game knowledge makes it even better.

I worked backwards knowing I was going to have an obvious ending. It's obvious because it's the most realistic option. But there is also an interesting extra level of writer-reader meta to play with, which is that nearly everyone is primed to sympathize with and believe the pov character. Everyone is also generally primed to expect better ending, or to expect that impossible will somehow happen because it's a fiction story. So I knew that readers would start off with a similar hope to Grian. And I knew that as the story went on further and further, I could direct readers toward the real conclusion. At some point, the very length of the fic itself and number of chapters left with make readers realize they're running out of time for things to happen. At some point, the reader is going have an objective picture of events and realize how irrational some of Grian's actions are.

I'm glad it worked to create a lot of tension! I also think the way a lot of other characters interact with Grian creates tension, because most of them are sort of "scared" to be direct with him since they know it'll upset him. And the way every one of Grian's actions keep adding and adding until the potential consequences grow greater and greater continue to add to the out-of-control feeling of this story. My goal for his character was always to keep pushing him to see where it led. It was a sad story to write, but it's a fun one to analyze for me.

I'm glad you liked chapter 12. I wanted it to try and resolve some of the things that needed to be said still, and provide a little bit of rest from the last three major action-filled chapters. The story is really 11 chapters of getting Grian to the first step in healing, and chapter 12 is that first step. It isn't the last one. Just the first.

Also my condolences for being a Mumbo main, I really need to get my blorbo rights revoked. I've been privately joking for the past year about fridging the poor man 😭mumbo ily i promise

#quara asks #hc_firewatch_au

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captainkirkk · 1 year

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✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

All the fics I’ve read and really enjoyed in the past week-ish. Reminder: This list features any and all ratings and themes.

ATLA

illustrate the remnants of the life i used to live by WitchofEndor

Zuko's soul marks have been regularly burned away since before he knew what they meant. He knows that he cannot be loyal to his father and his nation while also being loyal to a soul family, so he doesn't look for them. Unfortunately, that means that he doesn't know when he's found them.

Stranger things

Shovel Talks by unkreativstermensch (+ podfic)

"Oh,” Steve says. Then again, “oh,” a little quieter. His expression changes; from confusion to something pained almost. “Mr Munson, I don’t…” he takes a deep breath, his voice a little shaky as he continues. “I don’t think he…I don’t think he likes me like that.”

He doesn’t say “it’s not like that.” Neither does he say “I’m not like that.”

That’s the first thing Wayne notices.

or: Wayne decides to give Steve the shovel talk, only to realize he might not be the one needing one

Peaceful Bliss by unkreativstermensch

"Henderson,” Eddie groans. “Do you have any idea what time it is?" He rubs his hands over his face. Dustin nods.

"Of course, it’s 6:15, but we need to talk, it's really urgent, I noticed something about the-" he stops in his tracks when he notices the patch of hair next to Eddie, sticking out from under the covers and in between pillows, and the way Eddie winces because Dustin's talking too loud, and oh shit- there's someone else in bed with him.

or: Dustin has the annoying habit of just busting into Eddie's trailer at ungodly hours. One morning Eddie's not alone though.

SVSSS

Protagonist Rehabilitation Programme by cinnamonsnaps

(oh my god they were roommates)

"Thank you, valued user, for accepting the Protagonist Rehabilitation Programme. Your task: Ensure the protagonist's happiness."

Shen Yuan is convinced that his favouri... least favourite novel's main protagonist isn't really happy. He has babes, money and power, but does he have any friends? Cue the system handily dropping Demon King Luo Binghe into his bedroom. Can Shen Yuan make him happy before the timer runs out?

(90% light-hearted comedy, 10% existential horror and fear because this is the OG PIDW Binghe we're talking about)

Shadowhunters

Families of Choice by MonPetitTresor

Life at the Institute takes a turn for the worse for Alec. When he's alone with no where else to turn, his siblings step up and help him find his feet once more with help from a few new friends along the way. Between them, Alec finally gets a chance to realize that the world doesn't begin and end with being a Shadowhunter, and there's more out there for him, so long as he's got the courage to reach out and grab it.

Salvation lets their wings unfold by HopeSilverheart

Alec is frozen and, when she spots what has him looking so horrified, so is Clary.

Above the fireplace, hanging on the wall like some sort of divine offering, rest a pair of huge, black angel wings, so similar to Alec’s own. The mere sight makes him want to throw up and curl his wings around himself to make sure all his feathers are still in place. He can’t even begin to imagine life without the pair of extra limbs every Nephilim has to deal with. To be faced with the reminder that some people want nothing more than to tear those wings off his back is…

“What the fuck, Alec?” Clary whispers, her voice choked up and angry and alarmed. “Alec, what is this?”

Or: Alec, Clary and Magnus go on a mission to a warlock's home. What they find there leaves its mark on both shadowhunters.

Star Wars

listen, there's a hell of a universe next door by storm_petrel

As it turns out, no one ever taught Luke how to tie a little green baby to his back one-handed, but Luke thinks he's pretty gods-damned good at problem-solving under pressure, thank you, and the baby is at least semi-cooperative. When he's sure the kid is strapped in as tight as he can get, Luke pauses, and reaches back. His fingers graze the wide point of the baby's fuzzy ear. "Well, kid," says Luke, and his voice is a little rough, but not bad, all things considered. "Carrying you on my back while getting the absolute banthashit kicked out of me, at least this feels familiar."

The baby coos in his ear, and then kicks him hard in the kidney. Yoda used to do the exact same thing. Somehow, it's a lot more endearing now.

Or: Luke Skywalker solves a number of life-or-death problems, makes some new friends, falls abruptly in love, and gets shot into space, all in the same day.

Clone Wars

No wealth, no ruin, no silver, no gold by themonopolyhat

"New orders.” Cody hands the data pad over, and Waxer takes a minute to absorb the screen contents.

“Are we—” He stops, his voice hushed with something like awe. “Do we get to hit Dooku's... the kriff do the natties call it...” He snaps his fingers and points at Wooley for some reason. “Vacation home. Are we gonna burn down Dooku's vacation home?"

Or: Six weeks after Obi-Wan's funeral, the 212th reunites with their general.

#happy holidays everyone #this round up is my gift to all of you #weekly fic round up #my posts #fic recs #stranger things #svsss recs #sw recs #atla recs #shadowhunter recs

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sotwk · 25 days

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Writers Truth or Dare Ask Game - SotWK Answers

Link to game is HERE,

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

I was in 4th grade and my friends and I really wanted to date the Backstreet Boys. We discovered fanfiction was the most fun way to do it. We would write our lil’ self-insert love stories in notebooks that we would pass around and share.

🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

Pumped Up Pop. I’m a 90s kid and Pop runs deep in me.

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I don’t think anything can be considered weird for a writer doing research anymore. But one thing I remember working extra hard on was researching how to pilot a jet for a Marvel action fic. That’s why I admire and commiserate with @scyllas-revenge for her helicopter piloting scene in BLCI.

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?

Mix of both. Reader Inserts to make others happy, OC fics to make myself happy.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

I would write an entire essay explaining this one, but in the SotWK AU, Elvenking Thranduil and Elvenqueen Maereth are metaphorical avatars for the Valar couple Oromë and Vána, and were destined to be such (as they were destined for each other). The qualities they each possess which make them similar to these Valar--Thranduil's strength and skill as a protector/warrior and Maereth's gifts for nurturing and fertility--are what safeguard and sustain Eryn Galen for thousands of years, holding their people fast even against Sauron.

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis

@talesfuzzy is constantly on my notifs since she likes so many of my posts on a daily basis. She also reblogs some of the best Tolkien content, which I often put into my own queue. We don't really talk, but she's like that friendly person you see on your daily commute whose name you might not know but you smile and nod to each other till they've become a comfortingly reliable part of daily life.

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

I would LOVE a thrilling action fic where Thranduil and all five Thranduilion Princes march into battle at the same time and completely crush the enemy because there is possibly no greater or more fearsome fighting team left in Middle-earth. However, such a plot would violate my own AU’s headcanon, because in Thranduil’s family, there is a hard rule that the Thranduilions can never all be fighting in the same battle at once; Thranduil simply refuses to risk his family that way.

I would hire/nominate/beg @ass-deep-in-demons to write it. If you’ve read her fic, “Under Our Darkening Skies”, you’ll know she’s the top pick for incredible and cinematic battle scenes.

🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing

I find myself reusing a lot of the same lines and expressions, especially when describing character emotions and actions. Sometimes I feel my writing is pedestrian and boring, especially compared to many other writers in the Tolkien fandom who have such eloquent, sophisticated styles and brilliant, creative word choices. I'm quite soppy and sentimental too, but that's just my thing.

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

Sadly, I have not had a pet since my early 20s. I had plenty of them growing up, though, including my beloved yellow Lab. Once my kids are old enough to share in pet care duties, we are definitely getting a dog.

🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual?

Talk to me about my Thranduilion Princes, pretty please! (There are many easy ways to be Moots with me, but this is a guarantee and the fastest way!)

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

I am lucky and grateful to have a solid band of supporters, but I want to grab this chance to send a special shout out to @achromaticerebus. She has been a big supporter of my Thranduilion Princes since she discovered them early on, she comments on ALL my Thranduil/Thranduilion stories, she gushes about them to me and with me, and her enthusiasm just keeps me motivated. She is not herself a writer, and it's so rare to find a friend so willing to just be a reader and supporter, when there's really no way to “pay back” her kindness.

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Point out even just one specific detail or line of dialogue and tell me how it made you feel, your thoughts about it, or even ask a follow up question! I am most impressed when a Reader points out an Easter egg or interesting tidbit/headcanon/lore I included. I am over the moon when their comments show they are familiar with my other fics or my SotWK AU as a whole… it means they've really invested in my stuff.

🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises?

I enjoy being wholly surprised (good surprises, of course), but I don't like being told “a surprise is coming” and having to then think about it or stress out until its arrival.

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?

A work-related reminder, which is boring. So I'm gonna answer this question by sharing something I wrote in my “Scratch Dump” document that I use for my headcanon drafting: Inscribed on the blade of the sword was Mirion’s personal oath to his people, written in Silvan: “Until my last breath, I will serve.”

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh

It’s probably because I’m fairly new to it (and because I enjoy the song/video), but the concept of internet friends Rickrolling each other as a prank seems so funny and wholesome to me.

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

I made a separate post answering this HERE.

Thank you to all my awesome friends who jumped in to send me these Asks! This was fun and made me feel good about myself as a writer. Love you guys!

@lady-of-imladris @erathene @unethicallypleistocene @fishing4stars @Hobbitwrangler @quillofspirit @from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras @niennawept @malzenn @melpomaenofimladris and that one Anon friend!

#sotwk answers #ask game #get to know me #writer asks #Writers Truth or Dare Ask Game #i have the best mutuals #writer stuff

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im-a-king-baby · 8 months

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Hey, I love ELYN 😭❤️

So my two fave scenes/ moments were the 'keep of the lake house for now' and 'I've been in love with him since' so any commentary will be amazing. Any extra stuff will be amazing so 🪻please 😊

Hiii <3

Gonna put these 3 under a cut because length

“So hold onto that lake house for a while longer,” he says. “Okay?”

Context: i wrote the majority of the first draft of ELYN for Nanowrimo in 2022 (basically a challenge where you write a 50k novel in the month of November) and then I rewrote and edited it over a bunch of months.

So this chapter was actually very similar to the original draft, except that in Draft 1 all of the vote fallout was in one chapter which had the Simon scene first then the Nils scene. In the editing/developing process all the non-Wilhelm characters grew a lot so I knew I wanted to expand Nil's role, and add some more Felice which meant I could bump Simon into his own chapter.

(there was absolutely not meant to be a giant posting gap between the Nils scene and the Simon scene. To be completely honest if I'd known I was going to need that long to finish the fic off I'd probably have chosen to put the gap immediately after the debate because... tension 😈)

The main places where the Simon scene got extended was in the details - Simon's life and career was not well thought through in draft 1 and a lot of the extra length across the whole fic came from building that up - but the lakehouse beat was always there because it was important that Simon's rehab process had to be something he did independent of Wilhelm, so this idea of Wilhelm offering up this house and Simon rejecting it, then clarifying that it's a 'not yet' but hopefully one day when he's in a better place.

Wilhelm's 'I keep thinking about the last time you went to L.A.' was not in the original and was one of those character beats that didn't come to me until months later, but that really pulled together Wilhelm's feelings at that moment and his reluctance to let Simon leave, and that then led really nicely back into Simon saying hang on to the house, because hopefully its not goodbye this time.

“Keira asked what was different about you,” Simon says. “I said: I fell in love with Wilhelm when I was sixteen, and I have been in love with him every day since.”

Okay so this part was possibly the slowest part of the fic to write mostly because I was still figuring out how to articulate this ending which was meant to be optimistic but not magic-wand-everything's-fixed-now. This line in particular came about because I was trying to find where Simon was sitting emotionally and ended up writing a very short therapy in L.A. scene in which Simon dropped this line and I was immediately like 'well, that has to get into the main story.'

It's a nice parallel to Wilhelm's 'I'm never going to stop being in love with him.' in chapter 8, and it highlights that the issues between them have never been a lack of love or not wanting to be together, it's always been these outside forces that they need to break away from.

Also its one of those lines that you write down and then you read it and you're like 'people are gonna quote this one back at me' and its nice when you get that right 😅

And on that theme, your 🪻 is:

“Do you want to tell me what you’re thinking about?” This is the worst part of therapy. “Wilhelm.” Keira’s eyebrows twitch slightly, which is the only reaction he ever gets and means he’s surprised her. “We haven’t spoken much about Wilhelm, not since you asked if you could text him. Are you ready to tell me more about what happened between you?” “You could check the tabloids.” Her ‘you know that’s not what I meant’ look reminds him of Candace, except that she hasn’t figured out how to also convey ‘and I’m disappointed and you’re exhausting and you’d be nothing without me.’ “I’d like to hear it in your own words.” Simon absolutely can’t look at her. “I fell in love with Wilhelm when I was sixteen,” he says. “And I’ve been in love with him every day since. He’s the one I think about every time I sing a love song. Still. I have slept with - I don’t know, hundreds? - of people since I left Sweden and none of it meant anything, compared to him.” “What was it like, seeing him again?” He’d been drinking steadily in the car on the way to the benefit concert so that he’d be able to smile and read a teleprompter and not just stand there staring but it was a close thing. After his performance they’d swept him into a room where he drank champagne and smiled for the cameras. Wilhelm had touched a fingertip to his bare shoulder and Simon had wanted him so badly it hurt in places he’d thought could no longer feel anything. He doesn’t have words for that, except that it was like being in love. “He showed me I could do this,” Simon says instead. “That I could get out. That these systems we were caught up in weren’t infallible.” She frowns very slightly. “Do you think he spoke out against the monarchy for you?” Maybe? He offered once. On a cold night in his ridiculous scarf in so many words that it was Ayub who figured out what he was getting at after he’d walked away. But, no. “He did it for him. Because he needed it. And I did this for me. But there couldn’t be an ‘us’ before. Because of all those things getting in the way. And now… and maybe we both did it a bit for that. For love. Or whatever.”

#Elyn fic #elyn spoilers #I guess #I mean I assume you've all read it at this point

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dreamsclock · 1 year

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prompt u say... in a no nuke universe, how does c!tommy handle seeing the absolute worst of c!dream's scars?

(and vice versa?)

not gonna write this as a fic and instead gonna write it as a mini analysis because i wanna discuss different scenarios so!! buckle in!!

this is a mess. warnings for: scars, death, murder, mild gore (Detail of injuries and scars), unhealthy dynamics (diskduo), mentions of torture, abuse, etc. warnings for general themes in exile, prison, and c!diskduo's general dynamic).

operating under the popular headcanon that canon deaths leave scars, i would imagine the worst of c!tommy's scars are from his canon deaths: one over his heart from the l'manburg independence wars, one across his neck from the final control room, and a head scar from being beaten to death in prison (along with others, but the most common c!tommy final death i've seen has him with a head wound for this). of course, he probably has other scars - from the manberg explosion, from doomsday, from exile, etc - but i imagine a lot of those would be straightforward enough?? along with the first two of his deaths. i think in any of those scenarios, c!dream would be either patching up a wound for c!tommy or something similar, see the scar, and then ask him about it - i like to imagine he doesn't even REMEMBER the final control room death (because i also forgot it LMAO) and tommy takes the biggest offence to this. what the fuck do you mean you don't remember??? that was the biggest deal of my life!! "look, it just slipped my mind-" SLIPPED YOUR MIND???? MY DEATH SLIPPED YOUR MIND?????

for the final death, i think it resonated a lot more for both of them. the first two of tommy's deaths happened even before the life system was canonised, and happened before exile, manberg, and everything that followed. after manberg, things felt like they had a lot more weight to them. tommy's final death came from a very personal place, for both of them. it wasn't war, it wasn't for a kingdom. it was a matter of emotions and desperation and fear and trauma, for both of them, and i think it would be a lot more of a big deal for them both too.

dream finds it when he's trying to wash blood out of tommy's hair after growing tired of him complaining about the mess. it's a knotted, gnarly scar - half feels like there's obsidian still lodged in there - and dream's hands pass over it once, before pausing. tommy's squirming and griping stops very quickly when he realizes what dream's found.

both of them know what it is. neither of them need the confirmation.

but dream isn't going to ask. and tommy isn't going to tell. so dream continues until the back of tommy's head is blonde, free from blood, and tries to be careful when washing near the scar.

maybe later that night, when they're both lying half-asleep (read: staring restlessly at the ceiling of their base), dream asks quietly. does it still hurt?

at the other end of the room, tommy turns over in bed, and sniffs.

do yours?

because dream's scars... they're not exactly hidden. sure, dream wraps up what he can - his mask hardly ever comes off, and he's usually clad in armour and extra clothes and bandages anyway, which cover a lot of skin - but torture scars can't exactly stay hidden. especially not that many. tommy sees new scars every day, though he never asks about them any more.

i don't know how to begin classifying which of dream's scars would be the worst. neither does tommy, who sees burn marks and places where bones have broken the skin and scars from swords and axes and patchily-healed skin where shears have been involved.

he'd tried asking about them at first. what the fuck? he'd said, seeing the first - a strip of skin that hadn't healed right on dream's back, nasty, scarring. a messy little smiley face is cut into it too. dude, you look like you've been fucking cut into little pieces.

dream goes rigid. how are your scars, tommy? he'd snipped back, voice curt, mocking. how's the neck healing? how's the arm?

they'd fought. obviously. they fought a lot, in the early days.

but tommy's unease around dream's scars only grows when he realizes the extent of them. they seem endless, a mural of torture and torment that he just knows are from the prison.

quackity did this, didn't he? he asks, when they're too tired months later to fight. quackity and sam. in the prison.

dream doesn't reply to that.

but tommy is woken up by him that night, when dream shrieks, bolting awake in bed. it's not a human sound. it's barely even animalistic.

tommy never tells him that he'd woken that night. there's no point. dream won't thank him for the knowledge that tommy had seen him curl up in bed, whole body trembling. he won't thank him for the knowledge that tommy had heard the choked gasps and sobs as he'd struggled to breathe, that he'd watched through half-closed eyes as dream had paced until the sun came up.

he didn't tell him any of that. he didn't tell him about the new scar he'd seen either - two of them, wrapping around his neck from the axe of peace, from the staged disk war finale.

tommy remembers how good it had felt, slamming that axe into dream's body.

when he eventually falls back asleep that night, he dreams of prison, and the break in dream's frame when he'd killed ghostbur.

SEND ME MORE C!DISKDUO / NO NUKE PROMPTS OR ASKS!!

#> au: no nuke finale #dreblr #c!discduo #> c!diskduo

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the-lonelybarricade · 2 years

Note

since we are on the subject of fic recs…i’ve got to be the one to ask… got and smut recs?

(also you’re very cool and a talented writer)

LB what have you been up to for the last few days you've been MIA from tumblr? The answer is having uni-induced mental breakdowns and sorting through the entire explicit Feysand archives on AO3. I’ve been organizing these rec lists by authors but I've sorted this one by theme so it’s easier for people to find what kind of smut suits their tastes. This is a very comprehesive list so I'm putting it under a read more.

I also tried to be strict about only including compeleted one-shots/two-shots but I did make some exceptions because they are too good not to include. Incomplete fics are marked with a 🙏 because I'm praying that one day the authors will bless us with more glorious content <33

✨= Feyre pov, 🌙 = Rhys pov

Disclaimer: regardless of how I've sorted these fics, please read the tags and the author's summary of the fics themselves and read at your own discretion. 🔞

Canon Compliant smut: Sex scenes with similar vibes to the Feysand sex life we saw in canon. (Very tender and loving, usually involves Rhys being a passionate simp for his High Lady)

Saturated Sunset ✨ - Rhys goes to pieces when he sees Feyre in a new set of lacy underthings (as he should)

Tease 🌙 - set in ACoMaF, Feyre gets revenge for that sexy vision Rhys sent her

Paint Me ✨ - Paintbrush play meets sensitive Illyrian wings

Chapter 55 🌙 - Rhys pov of all that sweet chapter 55 goodness.

Out of the Shadows 🌙 - Rhys pov of chapter 48 (inn scene)

Break ‘Em Out ✨ - Wingplay.

Live Another Day ✨ - An extended look into the tent scene in acowar.

The Wall ✨ - The High Lord and Lady get frisky an an alleyway in Velaris.

From Sunup to Sundown ✨ - What if Feyre had felt the mating bond snap on Starfall?

Moving Forward ✨ - Rhys comes home to see his High Lady admiring herself in lingerie.

You ✨ - An alternate version of the Inn Scene, where Feyre admits she wants Rhys.

Paint Me A Picture ✨ - Feysand find a loophole to a wedding tradition that forbids them from seeing each other the night before they're wed.

A Sweet Treat ✨🌙- a sweet Halloween inspired fic that has copious amounts of smut.

Training ✨ - Feyre got stuck in some rope while training. Oh no, help me step-High Lord I'm stuck.

Like what you see? ✨ - Feyre pays Rhys back for the vision on the roof with one of her own.

Unfinished Buisness ✨ - Feyre has a wet dream and Rhys decides to help it come to life.

Moonshine ✨ - Feyre bathes a very drunken, horny Rhysand (it's surprisngly wholesome).

Therapy ✨ - Feyre massages Rhysand's knee on a rainy day and the two of them get a little carried away.

a united front ✨ - Rhys gets Feyre a sexy gift to wear during an event that keeps them both distracted.

smooth ✨ - Feyre learns about body hair removal and Rhys is happy to help his High Lady feel confident in her body (this one is so sweet 🥺)

Birthday Regards 🌙 - Feyre gets Rhys an extra special present for his birthday.

Something Missing ✨ - Wing kink meets the paint kink. I love this one because it's so playful without sacrificing any of the passion.

This is How I See You 🌙 - Feyre is feeling insecure about her postpartum body and Rhys reminds how beautiful he finds her.

Just Like Her ✨ - an acomaf AU where Feyre and Rhys decided to be honest with each other after the CoN throne scene.

Make love before war ✨ - A closer look into frenzied sex in the Windhaven cabin after Cassian and Rhys finished fighting.

Darling I'd Hang the Stars For You 🌙 - this one is just so stinkin cute. The desperately in love Rhys we all adore, showing his devotion to his High Lady the way he knows best.

midnight blue citrus 🌙 - a power outaged timed perfectly with Feyre being in the shower so Rhys could bravely come to her rescue.

Make Your Good Love Known to Me ✨ - Rhys gives Feyre a very thorough massage to help her relax after a long day of training.

First Time Encounters: Feysand don’t know a lot about one another, but they do know they’re both very sexy people who should do naughty things to each other.

The Rules of the Game 🌙 - AU where Feysand meet in the Hewn city and shameless flirting ensues, among other things.

'cause my kiss goes down you like some sweet alcohol c - A stranger in a bar can't seem to keep his eyes off Feyre.

I could drink a whole damn case ✨ - Feyre goes to a bar to move on from her breakup and happens to meet eyes with the most alluring stranger.

A Letter to Satan 🌙 - Feyre sends a letter to Santa asking him to bring her a good fuck for Christmas... except she might have accidentally swapped a few letters.

Bite Me, Prick ✨ - Feyre is dared to spend the night in a spooky castle, and happens to meet a very interesting resident. (Aka the Feysand vampire smut we never knew we needed).

Frenzy/sex-pollen/calanmai/and other mating-bond shenanigans: besties just can’t control their lust for each other

All the Pieces Fall Right Into Place ✨- Calanmai fuck or die. I put this here instead of in Dub-con because it’s set at a point in the books they both (secretly) wanted each other.

Fire Night ✨ - if the calanmai chapter in acotar had gone a little differently.

Frenzy ✨ - Feyre is in “heat” and her smell drives Rhys crazy

Hate Me If It Helps 🌙 - Acomaf set pre-mating in which Feyre is exposed to an aphrodisiac and Rhys has no choice but to help.

You Don't Know What Hell You've Put Me Through ✨ - human Feyre is effected by sex-pollen and luckily there is a generous High Lord nearby to help her out.

Never Done (At Least For Tonight) 🌙✨ - Set between acomaf/acowar. Feyre and Rhys are both struggling and the mating bond bring them together in their sleep.

In Darkness She is All I See 🌙 - Feyre and Rhys accidentally consume a cherry pie laced with an aphrodisiac while visiting the new High Rulers of the Spring Court. (Part of the Cherry Pie Smut Extraveganza)

All Mine ✨ - Feyre gets jealous watching Cresseida flirt with her mate.

Dom/sub (but still loving): In which Feysand get experimental in the bedroom

Silk Ties ✨ - Feyre and Rhys try out some bondage in the bedroom. (soft dom Rhys)

The Midnight Feast 🌙 - Rhys is awakened by Feyre having a very nice dream about him. (Consensual somnophilia + dom Rhys)

they know you walk like you're a god (they can't believe I made you weak) ✨ - the Feyre pegging Rhys fic that will make my feyre's dick anon very happy.

We're All Just Animals ✨ - Feysand run into Issac in the mortal realm and jealous, possessive sex ensues.

to take, to worship ✨ - Gentle dom Rhys giving his Feyre exactly what she needs. (mild somnophilia + dom Rhys)

Fifty-Six ✨- The Feysand mating frenzy we were robbed of in ACoMaF. Includes gratuitous use of the words "good girl". (possessive sex + spanking)

Topped ✨ - More Rhys getting pegged content, because we deserve it.

Take It Off 🌙 - Feyre goes away on a trip and Rhys can't stand to be parted from her. Rough/vaguely possessive sex ensues when she gets back. (mutual masterbation + rough sex)

say you're mine 🌙- Rhys sees Feyre sitting with Tarquin and feels the need to remind Feyre who she belongs to. (possessiveness + rough sex + spanking)

lost in the way you move ✨ - Rhys comes home late and Feyre decides to "punish" him for it. (Dom Feyre)

you best believe that I got something up my sleeve 🌙- Cassian gifts Feysand a fleshlight and some experimental smut ensues. (cock/ball worship + begging + edging + toys)

Bindings and Blindfolds ✨ - Feyre uses some new toys to take control in the bedroom. (bondage and light BDSM)

I'm gonna make sure I'm the best you ever had ✨ - Another Rhys getting pegged fic because we as a fandom all know he'd lose his mind over his High Lady wanting to fuck him.

Pinned 🌙- Rhys drugs Feyre so she can't talk or move while he has his fun (consensually, ofc). Includes dirty talk that had me sweating.

Lessons ✨ - Feyre and Rhys decide to experiment with some kinks in the bedroom. (blind folds + handcuffs + merciless teasing, they each switch between dom/sub)

all the way down 🌙 - Feyre and Rhys try out their new sex swing.

we don't gotta hide this is what you like ✨ - Feyre and Rhys escape their party for a quick rondevouz in the bedroom. (oral sex + anal sex).

Feysand + guests 😏: for the sake of time, just go into these knowing they're all kinky as shit.

A Solstice to Remember ✨ - Feyre joins the batboys in the Solstice birchin.

Tell Me What You Want ✨ - Feyre and the batboys in their bedroom.

The Birchin ✨ - SJM may be a tease but the Feysand smut authors sure aren't 🙏

A Prythian Fertility Rite - The Inner Circle orgy you didn't know you wanted

Spindle's Thread - Cassian joins Feysand in bed (Cassian's POV)

in the night there is only you ✨ - Cass and Az enjoying Feyre while Rhys watches

follow me down the rabbit hole ✨ - Threesome between Helion/Feysand.

The High Lord, The High Lady, and the Spymaster - A delicious series of fics documenting the bedroom adventures of Rhys/Feyre/Azriel.

Look Who's Wet Now ✨ - Feyre + the bat boys having arguably too much fun in a swimming pool.

New Depths ✨ - Feyre and Rhys decide to try out some new things in the bedroom, including inviting a certain Autumn male to join them. (Feysand/Lucien)

Playtime ✨- Feyre decides to take Rhys up on his offer to have Helion join them in their bed.

Feyre and the Batboys ✨ - it's exactly as the title says and it's absolutely filthy (in the best way).

multiply- Lucien decides to join Feyre and Rhys in the shower. (Luicen pov)

Summerboy ✨ - In a visit to Summer Court, Feysand decide to invite Tarquin to their bed.

Court of Nightmares: either one or both of them assuming their CoN mask (with consent). Again, these are all exceptionally kinky. Please check the tags before you read!

At the Nightmare Court 🌙 - Feysand roleplaying the High Lord and his pet in the throne room.

What I've Shown You In The Dark ✨ - High Lord Rhys reminds Feyre who she belongs to

the world fades away ✨ - Feysand attend a CoN orgy and decide to have some fun of their own.

War Meetings are Dull 🌙 - Feyre gets a bit "touchy" at a high lords meeting and when they get home, Rhys shows her the repercussions.

Till Death Do Us Part ✨ - Essentially, Rhys takes Feyre into his sexy dungeon to have his filthy way with her.

Espionage 🌙 - Set in acowar. Tamlin brings Feyre to the CoN as a means to gloat and Rhys plays his CoN mask to perfection.

I was in the darkness so darkness I became ✨- How the CoN throne scene would have gone if Feysand had the restraint we wished they had (as in none at all).

Court of Nightmares? More like Court of "Pull My Hair" ✨ - Feyre and Rhysand need to find other means of entertainment while at the Court of Nightmares.

What I've Shown You In The Dark ✨ - Rhys takes Feyre to the Court of Nightmares to remind her who she belongs to.

Hate fucking: Honestly I thought there were way more of these fics when I made this category, so please enjoy this apparently very niche smut.

Fuck You, Feyre Darling ✨ - Feysand hate sex UtM

Ride home ✨ - Rhysand asks Feyre for a blowjob in exchange for a ride home. There’s only one issue—she hates him with a passion.

Sinful Chemistry ✨ - Porn actress Feyre Archeron can't stand her new co-star.

I do bad things with you ✨ - Feyre accidentally kisses her roommate. I had trouble placing this one, but I think the tension between them is reminiscent of hate fucking.

Daddy Rhys Supremacy: Tragically underrepresented in this fandom, if you ask me. Everyone drink this kool aid so we can have a longer list.

Can't Keep My Hands to Myself ✨- Written by yours truly. A prompt heavy Sugar daddy oneshot.

i'll take care of you ✨ - Rhys helps Feyre forget about her long day by taking control.

Tempt My Trouble ✨🙏- mafia AU meets sugar daddy AU and very intense sexy times ensue.

The Mist ✨🙏 - Feyre performs as a stripper for the first time and quickly catches the eye of the club's owner.

Guys My Age ✨🙏 - Feyre's steamy one night stand reappears in her life in the most inconvenient way.

Dub-con, dark-fic, dark Rhys: Feminism? Who is she?

In the Woods Somewhere ✨ - Feyre and Rhys share lucid dreams with each other while he's UtM. He decides to take something he wants for once.

Bound for More✨ - Feyre is chosen as the virign sacrifice for her village, but the monster doesn't seem very interseted in killing her...

Where we keep our nightmares 🌙 - An absolutely heart wrenching fic about Rhys overcoming his UtM trauma and Feyre doing her best to help him through it.

Under the Mountain ✨ - After Amarantha finds Rhys and Feyre kissing in the cave, she makes Rhys keep going while the rest of the court is made to watch.

your body reacting ✨ - Feyre's second trail UtM is having sex with Rhys.

Dead Dove: the ones where you learn things about yourself you don’t think you could even tell your therapist about. These are all non-con.

King Under the Mountain ✨ - UtM where dark!Rhys is High King and Feyre becomes his personal pet.

Lead Me Not Into Temptation ✨ - Lady of Spring Feyre gets kidnapped and taken back to the NC to be shared between the batboys.

At the Edge of Forever ✨ - On Feyre's wedding night, Rhysand comes to claim his right to the first night.

Ravenous ✨- Driven mad by loneliness and Amarantha's torture Under the Mountain, and unaware of their connection, Rhys takes young Feyre by force to sate his uncontrollable lust.

june in her eyes, in her heart january ✨ - Feyre and Rhysand break Tamlin's mind and use his body to ensure spring court will have an heir.

#I now present to you... this fucking thing #the descent to hell is this rec list #see you all there #I ask only that if you use this list you leave each of these glorious authors kudos and a nice comment #they deserve nothing less #did you all learn a lot about me?#I feel like I learned a lot about me #my boyfriend looked over at this list while I was working on the latter half bahahaha #he was on headset with his mates so he couldn't say anything but he gave me a look like 'I see what you're up to over there'#feysand #feysand smut #feysand fic #fic recs #acotar smut

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