#this is just me

[tangledinink]

[ swanatello ] ->

Donnie had found that now, he almost didn’t mind sunrise. He didn’t enjoy it, per se. But he wasn’t sure if he hated it anymore, either. 

At first, it had been awful. 

Every single morning, like clockwork, as soon as sunrise approached, all he could feel was fear seeping through every corner of his body. It pressed in tight until it filled him up and forced him rigid and sharp, searing the backs of his eyes and the curve of his neck. Every morning, the only thing he knew was that something bad was about to happen. He didn’t really remember those moments. All he remembered was feeling, more than anything, that he had to get back to his lake. That he had to get home. 

(He did remember coming to, after the transformation was over and the panic eased off. They never talked about it, but everyone would always be looking at him with these faces that told him plenty. Every time they’d be all teary-eyed and shaky. And he’d wake up pinned in the firm press of Raph’s big hands, careful and gentle but still so tight it was almost painful. Sometimes, some of them would be bloodied, and he knew they’d never say it but he also knew it was his fault.)

The worst part was that he already was home. He knew that. He knew he was with his family. He knew that he, Hamato Donatello, was finally back where he belonged. 

He hated how hollow the victory felt.

No matter how long he looked, he couldn’t quite find any joy in it. He wasn’t happy or relieved. He wasn’t lonely or mournful, either, wasn’t missing the lake or longing for its company. Mostly, he was just… tired.

He just wanted to sleep.

The longer he was here, the more he adjusted, and the easier the routine was. He didn’t panic like that anymore. The fear never quite went away, rising up red hot and swollen in his throat over the horizon each and every morning with the sun, but at least they didn’t have to hold him down anymore. At least he didn’t hurt them.

Either way, they always stayed with him. 

“Leo?”

There were two minutes left. Even if he wasn’t staring down the clock, he’d still know. He’d feel it. 

“Yeah?”

And that was why, really. Why he couldn’t quite find it in himself to mind the sunrise.

“It’s almost time.”

Even if it was fear. At least at sunrise, he felt something. 

“I know,” Leo soothed, shifting slightly across the bed to sit a bit closer to him, nudging Donnie ever-so-softly with his shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”

But Donnie never worried about that. He knew Leo wouldn’t leave. He knew he’d stay. He knew that nothing bad would happen— that he wouldn’t die. That it wouldn’t even be painful. He knew that at the end of it, whoever was with him with scoop him up and hold him in their lap. He knew they’d pet his feathers and talk to him all quiet and soft, gentle and low until he fell asleep. He knew they’d still be there when he woke up again.

It never stopped the fear. It still couldn’t stop the jump in his heart rate and the hitch to his breath, running off ahead of him as if to scout for trouble. It still never kept all his muscles from coiling up tight, pulled taut across his skeleton, bracing for impact. It had yet to prevent his hands from trembling every morning— so bad that his brothers almost invariably ended up hanging onto him, wrapping his hands up with their own to keep him steady.

“It’s okay,” Leo insisted, squeezing his hands. “You’re fine, Dee. Deep breaths with me, yeah? Nothing is bad is gonna happen. I’m not gonna leave.”

And Donnie knew he wouldn’t. That was never what he was afraid of.

At first, he would panic every morning. His brothers would have to hold him down. He’d black out. He would hurt them. 

It wasn’t like that anymore. It had gotten better. The more time passed, the less horrifying it was, and the better he could bear it.

He thought maybe that was what he was actually afraid of.

That maybe, one day, enough time would pass that even when the sun rose in the mornings, he still wouldn’t be able feel anything at all.

[ @candycoloredzebra wrote a thing for me, and i liked it, so i wrote something, too. ]

[ next episode ]

#this is just me #like #expanding on their thing kinda #coz i just liked it a lot for whatever reason #and it made me think things and feel things or whatever #swanatello #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #donniesona #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt donatello #tmnt #tmnt 2018 #rottmnt au #fidgetwing

[metalhoops]

There are lots of modern aus with rockstar Eddie, and actor or professional sportsman Steve but I propose professional wrestler Steddie. I know this is niche, but hear me out. Wrestling is the perfect mix of sports (Steve) and drama/ camp (Eddie). 

You have a baby face Steve Harrington, who the crowd adores because he’s charismatic on the mic and not afraid to get a little bloody in his matches. Then you have heel Eddie who the crowd loves to hate. He’s got a Lost Boys-style vampire gimmick going on, heavy metal entrance music and has adopted the habit of walking in through the crowds. He’s amazing in tables matches and will take any opportunity to do a choke slam through the announce desk. 

The two don’t face each other in the ring often because Steve’s in a longtime feud with Billy Hargrove, whose a hell of a heel but downright dangerous in and out of the ring. He often refuses to sell for Steve and to make matters worse he’s a fan of not pulling his punches. 

Eddie and Steve don’t talk much in the locker rooms, they run in different circles and Eddie has the sneaking suspicion Steve is a stuck-up asshole (he’s not).  

They end up in a Royal Rumble match, where thirty-odd competitors get in a ring and fight to be the last one standing. Eddie’s sticking to the script. He keeps close to the guy he’s in a feud with until he catches Steve take a bump out of the corner of his eye. Billy’s on him and he’s not pulling his punches. Steve’s nose is gushing. The producers will be pissed because the T.V. network is getting squeamish about showing lots of blood. It’s not the 80s anymore. People don’t do that. 

Against his better judgment, Eddie decides to go off script. He takes Billy by surprise and manages to get him over the top rope. He wasn’t supposed to win anyway, so it wasn’t like they were going to dock his pay. He might get hazed in the locker room but that was a worry for another day. 

To Eddie’s surprise, Steve looks at him and shoots him a brilliant smile, his teeth filled with blood, his eyes shimmering with mischief. Someone tries to grapple with Eddie from behind but Steve intercepts, saving his ass. Eddie wasn’t meant to win the match either but he wanted as much airtime as he could get. He hates to admit it but he and Steve make a good team. Viewers seemed to agree. 

The next day Eddie is approached by his manager, telling him the higher-ups want him and Steve as a tag team. Which means one of two things. He and Steve were going to see a lot more of one another, and for once, Eddie was going to have to play the role of the good guy. It ends with them getting up way too close and personal in practice and pining hard over one another. 

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #modern au #pro wrestler au #stranger things #steddie prompt #billy hargrove #This is just me #squishing two hyperfixations together #I just think it would work so well #another idea I don't currently have time to write #Okay Glossary for people who don't know #anything about wrestling #Baby face / face: #A 'good guy'/ hero wrestler #Heel: #A 'bad guy'/ villain wrestler #gimmick: #A wrestling persona #Sell /selling: #making a fake injury or hit look real #bump/ take a bump: #a wrestler hitting the ground or mat typically making a loud sound #Tables Match: #what is sounds like a match with fold out tables #choke slam: #again what it sounds like #let me know if I missed any

[valkyriellis]

Silly question, are you attracted to Jerma I'm just curious?

LOL ig it depends on how you define the word. Definitely not in the typical/expected way, I don't think. For example I wouldn't ever want to actually meet Jerma IRL.. beyond like a 10 second selfie or autograph fan interaction type thing at least.

Mostly just cause I can't really form that kind of real attachment to a person unless I actually know them, and none of us really KNOW Jeremy. Just jerma985. That's a whole stranger!!

But I'm very much attracted to watching jerma content and drawing his likeness :)

#this is just me #I'm ace and believe there's all different kinds of attraction #in this case.. Yes to all except romantic/sexual #mostly aesthetically and uhh? for the funnies #and a secret third thing #i don't even know man #kinda yappin but it's a fair question when you look at what I've been doing for the past year straight....... #just know it's the autism and not like . serial killer behavior #I hope it doesn't come across that way I have a very obsessive personality #but I try to keep it healthy ! 😁

[nightfallsystem]

IMAGE ID: An MS Paint doodle of a four legged creature with big eyes looking off in the distance also appearing blurry like it’s not paying much attention (ty living-bomb for id)

I've created this thing I call it dissociation creature

(there is probably already a dissociation creature I just felt like making one)

#this is just me

[simping-for-joe]

Take a Deep Breath

Leon Kennedy X Dyslexic! Reader

You decided to put something together without help but struggle with the instructions the day escalates from there

A/N: So fun story, I have dyslexia, and a lot of times when I see neurodivergent reader, it's not really included so I said fuck it and wrote it myself. This is based on a general experience I've had with dyslexia. I tried my best to communicate what it feels like for me personally. Sorry, this is like really specific and I'm probably the only one who wants this.

You had decided it was a good idea to try to put together a nightstand while Leon was at work today. You had the day off and decided to do a few things around the house. Leon and you just moved into a new apartment and needed a new nightstand.

You open the box with some scissors and take out the instructions. You take out all the parts, as well as get the tools the paper told you to grab. A smile on your face as it seemed like this would be easier than you thought.

“Okay…” You're about a third step in, and you read the instructions…. You read it again… you read it one last time. “W-what?” You look at the picture and… it was no help. “Am I dumb?” You ask yourself slightly annoyed. You take a deep breath slightly annoyed before you start to read it out slowly. “Connect part C to part D… but how the hell…” It was so vague you weren’t sure how you were supposed to exactly attach them and the picture was absolutely no help whatsoever. That good mood was almost completely gone, but you were still determined to do this. It would be a nice surprise for Leon and maybe you could figure this out.

You needed a break so you were in the kitchen scrolling through your phone, you were beyond frustrated and started to get a little shouty with the instructions. It probably didn’t help that anytime you’ve ever built furniture it was with someone else. You wanted to slam your forehead against the countertop, but you get distracted by the sound of the front door opening.

“I’m home!” Leon calls when he notices you're right in the kitchen. He chuckles a little before you hug him tightly. "How was your day?" He asks softly as he hugs you back.

"Actually... I was hoping to get your help with something." You bring up to him.

"What is it?" He asks curiously as you guide him to your bedroom. He looked in and that answered his question.

"I... I need you to read this." You hand him the directions slightly embarrassed. He just takes the paper and reads the instructions out to you. You listen, think for a moment... and find you are still lost. Leon chuckles softly, and motions for you to watch him do it. You watch as he effortlessly puts together the last part you need to complete the nightstand.

Annoyance and embarrassment fills you as you realize how simple it was to finish the nightstand. Leon gives you a reassuring smile.

"It's alright," he attempts to assure you and kisses your forehead to make you forget your emotions on the matter and make you feel a bit better.

Leon makes the decision to go grocery shopping to distract you from the whole nightstand thing. You had written a list earlier in the day, and it seemed like a good idea.

However, as you're walking through the store and you ask Leon for the next item on the list, he's stumped.

"Leon?" You ask softly, and he looks to you.

"Um... sweetheart, what does this say?" He asks you showing you the paper and you honestly have no clue. You cannot tell what the hell you wrote on that paper.

"I have... no fucking clue." You say softly in shock as you take the paper from him trying your hardest to remember. Sometimes when you spelled things wrong you could remember what you were trying to say, this was not one of those times. You groan out annoyed, and want to hit something.

"Hey... are you okay?" He asks you softly.

"No! I fucking hate having dyslexia, it fucking sicks!" You stop and sigh out annoyed. "Sucks... I meant sucks..." A little defeated, you hang your head a bit.

"Come here, baby." He says softly pulling you into a hug. Embracing you tightly calming you down a bit. "Just take a deep breath..." He assures you gently.

"I'm sorry... it's just so frustrating sometimes..." You tried to explain, but it was annoying. You didn't hate your dyslexia, it was more complicated with that. You know on some level, you've grown used to your disability and you've learned to live with it. However, it still got in your way sometimes.

"I know..." He assures you gently, kissing your forehead. "This stuff happens sometimes, and that's okay. Don't beat yourself up about it okay?" You nod gently embracing him tightly.

"Thanks, Leon..." You smile looking up at you fondly.

"It's no problem love... now, let's try to figure out what's on this list." He jokes getting a chuckle and a smile from you finally.

#resident evil #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #fanfic #neurodivergent #x reader #this is self indulgent #dyslexia #this is so specific #i dont know #this is just me #being weird #and dyslexic

[fellshish]

I think good omens s2 is especially relatable to me personally because a lot of us gay people HAVE realised they’re very gay by watching other people be very gay. It’s about community if your own family/religion rejects you

#good omens #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 spoilers #go s2 spoilers #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #like if people feel differently than me then that’s valid of course #this is just me

[rainbow-neko-main]

Hey so i was looking up something about puppets and i had this list going of all these famous puppet characters and i realized it was a little male heavy so i googled famous female puppet characters and-

When

the fuck

was someone gonna tell me she was trans.

#sesame street #oscar the grouch #silly #transgender #trans rights #very important more people know about this btw #she lives in a garbage can she is literally goals #this is just me #this is how i want to live

[heretherebedork]

One of my biggest issues with enemies to lovers is that so often it is done that only one side is an enemy and the other side is just someone trying to live his damn life only o get constantly dragged back down or in or something else by his enemy. He's got no real reason to be in this fight but he can't get out either.

And I don't like that.

I love when they're both enemies, when they both equally want this battle.

But when one of them just wants to let it all go or doesn't care or was just going to roll his eyes? I get more annoyed.

(This typically means that any kind of plot involving blackmail gets to me because that necessitates on side acting against the other. Unless they're blackmailing each other, it never feels right! See: Big Dragon)

All of this to say... Peem and Phum are not working for me because I just wanna whack Phum and free Peem and not see them smooch.

#lol #just my preference #and no tags #but not no tags here #this is just me #and the show might change it #you never know

[bbubbleo]

sketch that was just an excuse to slap some thangs on him

#my art #i want to work on the expression meme but #needed to do a warnup eouhga #was going to caption this 'i love projecting' but #this is just me #if you reblog this you have to reblog the finished version to #:gun:

[sylver-seraphim]

you should draw your beautiful wife vittorino in a wedding dress 🙏

✧ Simple

✧ Pretty

✧ Unique!!

Perfect wedding dress:

#answering questions #hiii anon #8:11 vittorino #it's just me #like literally #this is just me #sylver

[wyrm-with-a-why]

“Megatron listens to heavy metal”

“Megatron listens to classic like a grandpa”

No

Megatron listens to Tool and lays down on the floor to do so to be immersed in the experience

#transformers #megatron #maccadam #just my headcanon lol #you can say he listens to whatever he likes #this is just me

[raemeh]

Dndads artistes be like “omg I love your designs, this is how I imagine [insert character]”

and then you look at their art and the same character and it looks like a completely different person.

#This is me #This is Just me #this is me calling myself out #dndads

[lostsoullover]

Me: Hm. I am sleepy, I need rest : )

Beelzebub himself deciding to possess me: CARAMEL. NOW

#shut up soul #this is not about obey me #or hazbin hotel #or any media #this is just me #carmel #candy making #no recipe

[enamamesan]

The latest trailer gave me the impression that we’re going to see a lot of in between quiet moments and I am just so excited about that.

#one piece #romance dawn was amazing but i feel like the added character moments would make it more special #from what i remember it was a lot of fighting and adventure after adventure #i just wanna see them talk and get to know each other more #this is just me #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #nami #ussop #sanji #one piece live action #opla

[b0nkcentral]

a friend sent this screenshot in a discord server and i related to it very heavily

#oc #damien #idk how to tag this #this is just me #also if anyone cares #there will probably be a drawing of me as medic coming up soon #been told countless times i look like medic so im gonna male myself embrace it #IF ANYONE CARES!!!!!! /silly

[whateverthought]

You know, everyone kept saying "Trans Barbie! There's a Trans Barbie!" and I was confused because I watched the movie. I started worrying that maybe I missed something, maybe there was some hint or easter egg that implied trans-ness and I, a Cisgendered person, missed it because it wasn't for me.

But apparently it wasn't! It was that a trans actress was IN the movie. Something you couldn't have known if you didn't know the actress beforehand (I didn't).

So all this, 'They have a TRANS Agenda! Evil Woke Feminists!' is just a trans person existing.

(I thought it was gonna be something like, "This Barbie used to be a Ken!")

#this is just me #realizing theres no trans barbie itself #since everyone is created like that #and doesn't have genitals #but for a second i thought #ben sharpy is so fucking stupid for that #its just a trans actress bro #the movie doesn't even mention it #mine #my post #barbie movie #the barbie movie #barbie 2023