#this is one that reliably does not do it for me [person with ADHD] and which also often makes me feel weird for vague reasons

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

idk if this is still the case but when i was really In It in animorphs feelings a couple years ago because i was unemployed for the first time in my adult life / temporarily living alone in the last house my family lived in / freaking out about climate change / generally Going Through It, and like poking around the animorphs scene on tumblr, there was this notion commonly expressed that rachel and tobias were "toxic," the major piece of evidence for which was the scene in 33 where she "tries to trap him in human morph." which like first of all i'm SOOOOOO SORRRY that the fucking fifteen-year-olds secretly fighting a guerrilla war in which their greatest threat is the mind-controlling slugs they're trying to save humanity from but their second greatest threat is the diminishing hourglass of their collective sanity as they all have to work steadily harder and more desperately to not just completely lose their shit entirely from all the violence and literal 24/7 constant threat and murder that is happening, like i'm sorry two literal children who have managed in this ongoing horror show to forge a bond of loyalty and affection and care and attraction and understanding that can act as a kind of solace neither of them have any other way to access, sorry those actual murder babies sometimes have some communication problems. lmao. but also it's insane to me that people read that scene (in which they're dancing to, i'm not making this up, iris by the goo goo dolls - i mean they don't tell us the song but it's a slow goo goo dolls number that even tobias knows, so - they're dancing to iris by the goo goo dolls at a school dance that is not going well because they are both awkward about the newfound public Officialness of their relationship and rachel who is the only one of them who has ever been capable of socializing like a normal person is in a particularly bad mood because of the emotional hangover of her starfish adventure [great concept executed terribly in the previous book], and then like after two entire minutes of letting himself feel some nice emotions tobias spots the clock and starts leaving to go demorph and then rachel runs after to him to awkwardly attempt to share that she is very fucked up about how insane she has become and she wants to hold on to things like school dances and also this is all happening in a hallway by a student poster on red tailed hawks that states their lifespan of a handful of years in the wild, it's so good) as rachel trying to trap tobias in morph, when like, first of all, "good thing happening -> time to punish myself for feeling nice for 5 whole seconds " is like THEE tobias thought pattern because he's the number one kidlit trauma baby of all time, like truly the first time i dove back into the series i was struck by how well his narrative voice captures Child Of Insane Family Dysfunctionality, he is NOT a reliable narrator on this, but also second, and more saliently, like, believing this scene is rachel attempting to trap tobias in morph requires that you believe rachel, all by herself, made a plan in advance and then attempted to execute it, which is a skill we literally never see her demonstrate even one fucking time outside of the comfortingly familiar hunting ground of the mall

#animorphs #i have a hard visceral aversion to personally adopting ADHD headcanons in general #(you do you idc about people's headcanons but like #this is one that reliably does not do it for me [person with ADHD] and which also often makes me feel weird for vague reasons #but again like this is not an Argument or a Criticism have your fun it's simply not for me) #BUT. someone once said they headcanon rachel as ADHD. #and that is... the ONLY time i have ever read that and been like 'oh wow no okay yeah that tracks' #which honestly thinking on it now i feel like sort of helps me articulate why i'm usually like 'her?' #bc i feel like i tend to see it as like 'this would be cute/relatable/fun to project on to' (you do you not for me) #or i see it based on like... a perception of general ADHD Vibes #which like. on the one hand i get. there can be Vibes. there's a reason the set of people i Enjoy A Lot has ADHD overrepresented on it. #but personally i am like. but where are the scenes of them ruining their own life for reasons attributable to ADHD traits #i don't personally get anything out of lumping people into a DSM category with me if they are not also constantly ruining their own lives #like i can just relate to them because we have similar Vibes. that's plenty. #but rachel................. #the scenes of rachel constantly ruining her own life because of her inability to think for 5 seconds before speaking or acting ever. like. #that's in every book rachel ever has #she literally has a line at one point like 'i don't know why i say these things. they just pop out of my stupid mouth.' girl same... #anyway. speaking of ADHD. i have GOT to stop letting myself 'just check tumblr a little bit' while i'm waiting for the adderall to hit

[morskisir]

The public is VERY interested in your Sniper thoughts. Please, I need them. Phobias? Eating habits? Can he dance? *Should* he? Is he aware when he makes direct eye contact he looks scary af? Is he good at poker or does he not even play?

You are one of my strongest followers o7 THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTIONS!!! I will answer them all individually below.

Phobias?

If we're talking about proper phobias and not fears in general, then he doesn't really have any? UNLESS you count social phobia, which, yeah, he's got that. (I would like to clarify social phobia and social anxiety disorder are different things but he's got both of them, so.)

Social phobia is like, specific social situations that will continuously bring you anxiety/fear. The shit that will have him shaking every single time is a person genuinely trying to get to know him. Even a simple question such as "What's your favourite colour?" could set him off into a state of anxiousness. He LOATHES conversations like that, he wants to be left alone, he's not anyone you should pay attention to, he's not interested in doing this, go away. His fear of being known past the point of "professional assassin" is deep and greatly impacts his life. What the fuck are social relationships am I right?

Another social situation would be: phone calls! You can imagine how nice it is for him to only be able to call his parents when he isn't visiting them at their home in Oz. <3 It's the fear of I cannot see this person and I don't know how they're really reacting to this. He already isn't the best at reading people's faces, phone calls are just another level of hell.

2. Eating habits?

MEAT. MEEEAAAAT- if he could get away with only eating meat the rest of his life he fucking would. Alas, meat doesn't give your body all of the fuel it needs. Heartbreaking. (Not for me I dislike meat sdgkhdskg)

He will still insist on having meat in every fucking meal, and do not, do NOT make a steak that isn't at least a little bit raw. This guy's an animal. Give him his blue steak or he'll think your cooking is shit.

Anyways, I wouldn't say he eats a lot. He eats enough, I guess. Cunt's just running on a lot of coffee + a couple of cigarettes. He's more addicted to caffeine than tobacco.

3. Can he dance?

No. I don't know if Australian schools did this, let alone in his time, but if they did: he would skip every single P.E. class where they would do dancing instead of just chucking some ball around. He is SCARED he doesn't want to be in such close proximity with someone else hksdgkj (except Spy) (who said that) He doesn't have interest in learning how to dance, either. If he's drunk and you somehow get him to dance you'll see a horrible, non-existent dance move.

4. Should he?

No. Spy would beg to differ.

5. Is he aware when he makes direct eye contact he looks scary as fuck?

Yes and no. When he stares at someone on purpose to scare them away- it works! It's reliable! He's aware of the power that stare holds! He just doesn't realise he kind of always looks like that. The Stare(tm) is simply even more intense. There is a great darkness in his eyes........... /ref

6. Is he good at poker or does he not even play?

He can play it! He's only really decent at it- it's not his thing. Only really learned how to play it through peer pressure. (there is lore to this, but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

Scout begs Sniper to play with him and he very begrudgingly accepts because no one else does hdsghj. He is very bored and would rather read his tracking books, but he cannot escape the ADHD. (You call out the smallest act of sympathy he just did and he'll beat the shit out of you)

^ Scout when he wants to play poker

#ask #tf2 #sniper #sniperspy mention wow!!! unexpected!!! #nishart

[xxlovelynovaxx]

Screenshot:

Cool, cool, I guess I'm using you, as an intersex transneufemmasc gender nonconforming person who experiences transmisogyny, because you're such a pick me that OTHER TRANSMASCS EXPERIENCING TRANSMISOGYNY IS ABOUT YOU. I guess every single gnc AND gender conforming non-passing transmasc talking about having experienced transmisogyny is actually just fucking tokenizing you personally.

Oh, and "I'm so transmisogyny exempt that I was transmisogynistically attacked but it was misdirected and didn't hurt me (I can't admit it hurt me. I'll be attacked by my own community if I admit it hurt me. I'm not allowed to have feelings about this or I'm one of the bad ones. Being a man and expressing being upset at marginalization is (trans) misogynistic) like??? Hello???

You're so terrified of being wounded that you're taking knives already in you and twisting them around and around and around!

Like at best, you personally managed to shrug it off because of having a good support system (extremely uncommon for all trans people but especially groups struggling with erasure), having other identity privilege (in which case congrats on ignoring the lived realities of more marginalized transmascs than you), or whatever.

At worst, you're actively suppressing trauma or similar which is not healthy and in fact often leads to harmful and toxic behavior like???

I want to feel for this person, because I truly understand where the urge to do this comes from. You get told over and over and over that you are a nonmarginalized ally in your own community and you don't want to hurt the people you care about so you shove down all the pain so far that it cuts off the nerve and you become numb to it and you present yourself as a good little sacrificial lamb privileged man who knows his place and grovel for scraps from a tiny vocal minority of a community who are petty bullies who never grew out of their pick-me and mean-gender phases.

(Note, I'm only specifically targeting patterns of behavior with that statement, which is gender-neutral on purpose. Trans people of all genders are guilty of this shit.)

And listen, I know I'm an outlier as an intersex person, as someone who is both transfem and transmasc, as someone who is ambiguous in every sense of the word. But just fucking. LISTEN to people. People are the most reliable narrators on their own experiences with marginalization! Transfems are not the authority on what non-transfems experience, just as transmascs are not the authority on what non+transmascs experience!

CRIPES, it's almost as if marginalized people don't hold the sole knowledge and authority even of bigotry that primarily targets them! It's almost as if bigotry isn't neat and clean and is in fact based in, idk, NOT respecting people's actual identities?! It's almost as if the person bleeding at the end of the day is the target and victim of any kind of bigotry?!

Fuck, man. I'm tired of this shit. The disabled community in general does it. The neurodivergent community does it. The autism community does it. The ADHD community does it. The personality disorder community does it. The mobility disability community does it. The chronic illness community does it. The cognitive/intellectual disability community does it. The plural community does it. The traumagenic community does it. The endogenic community does it. The dissociative disorder community does it. The general queer community and general trans community does it. The transfem community does it. The transmasc community does it. The nonbinary community does it. The ace community does it. The aro community does it. The lesbian community does it. The gay community does it. On and on and on and on and ON.

Your identity makes you an authority on your own lived experiences. Your time in a community, if you listen and learn, can often make you at least a reasonably reliable authority on broader experiences within that community - though only if the community itself is diverse in terms of other identities, and you are aware of the privileges and marginalizations you hold and how they are intersectional, and make an effort to make space for people who are comparatively marginalized to you.

And as this post demonstrates, there's a reason for that paragraph of caveats. You will always have more authority to say "this marginalized identity DOES struggle with this" than "this marginalized identity DOESN'T struggle with this". Because the thing, is, the former is saying "at least some of us face this". The latter is saying "none of us do, and if anyone says they do they're either lying or their experiences don't count and are not worth mentioning". If you say "none of us face this (or if any of us do it doesn't matter)", you're probably not fucking listening.

Having a marginalized identity also doesn't make you a reliable authority on what other identities do or don't experience, are or aren't harmed by, what they can and can't reclaim, the levels of violence and hate they face, the struggles that directly result from their identity (so, not just ones that come from external bigotry), and so on.

I dunno. I face danger from both transmisogyny and transandromisia daily. I have actual physical traits that are demonized or otherwise used to abuse me in common with both trans men and trans women. Most of these occurred without hormonal or surgical treatment; those that were made more prominent or occurred due to gender affirming care also straddle that line. I live in a barely red-violet area in an increasingly fascist state. I'm profoundly disabled and am unable to move, for more reasons than just money alone at this point. I'm sick and getting sicker because of abusive and ableist doctors. I have no energy left to fight. I may never be able to receive treatment for my most severe disabilities because my specific manifestation of the combination of MCAS, POTS, chronic pain, and likely ME/CFS eliminates MOST treatment options for those and my other disabilities. I'm also fat, am dealing with ongoing severe trauma from multiple sources, and am considered as "mad" and "stupid" (cognitive disabilities) as I am considered "crippled". I live far below the poverty line supporting myself and my partner on a single SSI income and a tiny stipend - one which still reduces my SNAP benefits to $23 per MONTH.

Like, I'm fighting the intersection of a half dozen different marginalizations. I'm out here LIVING the theory you're arguing about. I don't have time for people "well ackshually"-ing my real, ongoing trauma and oppression. I don't have the energy to hold understanding and compassion for people actively feeding into erasure of that!

Oh, and aside from intersex people, AMAB transmascs who face transmisogyny exist, asshole (@ the screenshot). Not that assigned gender actually is a reliable indicator of whether or not someone experiences transmisogyny either, but since people like them typically mean "AFAB trans person" when they say transmasc and "AMAB trans person" when they say transfem, it's worth noting. But that IS, btw, what people mean when they say tma/tme reduces people to their genitals. At least, their infant genitalia. Because sure, maybe a few people acknowledge that bottom surgery exists or tokenize intersex people to defend their use of it. But in common use, "tma" is only ever extended to people who are AMAB (or "AMAB-adjacent" if intersex, which itself is massively intersexist) and "trans enough" (which usually means being a womanhood or "femme enough", and only begrudgingly allows even transfem butches, let alone AMAB nonbinary people, into the term).

That's without even getting into how, even if some trans people MAY be LESS LIKELY to experience transmisogyny, none are truly ever "exempt". None of us sicko genderfreaks (in cis people's eyes) will ever be safe from transmisogyny for as long as it still exists.

I'm just. Exhausted, y'know?

#transandrophobia

[dimonds456-but-only-hlvrai]

Welcome to the AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS!

Thoughts below the cut, ID in alt!

SO: Caine is still the ringmaster, and the others may or may not be there, but for what I was specifically thinking, this is a sort of replace-the-cast thing. The most obvious two are Gordon as Pomni and Coomer as Kinger. I was thinking Bubby could be a Zooble equivalent, Benrey as Jax, and Tommy as Ragatha. Darnold would be left in Gangle's spot (though the two are nothing alike), and Forzen would have been Kaufmo.

I picked and chose names based on how weird they were GFDHJSAK

So, normal names like Gordon or Tommy got replaced, while unconventional ones like Benrey and Bubby are the same.

Leodoll is a play on Leo, meaning lion, and doll, which is. obvious.

Asher Blau literally means "happy blue." They're both Jewish names (from what I understand, PLEASE tell me if I'm wrong here), and of course Asher is a double play on Ash, like fire.

Beybend is a play on "Beyblade," while also suggesting Tommy's new flexibility

Benji Calzone is funny

Gotcher is a play on tamogotchi and Kinger's name (or, the last part of Coomer's original name)

The designs are also a play on their personalities, going off the theory for the show that that's the case (like Ragatha being a bit of a doormat and Jax being a jackass)

Gordon: Plush lion. Fierce, brave, and strong, but also a huge softie. Makes others feel better and/or safe.

Bubby: Mime action figure. Going off the idea of him being in the tube like how mimes usually start their routines pretending to be in boxes. Also his joints CAN detatch and re-attach, so something something symbolism somthing he was built instead of born something

Tommy: Heavily inspired by Betty Spaghetty. Literally really flexible, playing into the idea of him having really good instincts/adaptability.

Benrey: LEGO ass. Wanted to play into the idea of his shapeshifting, and also stepping on LEGOs sucks and you KNOW he'd find that funny. Moves like Queen Whatevawanabe (how do you spell her name?) from The Lego Movie 2. Also I liked the idea of he and Gordon being opposites: Gordon is soft, Benrey is hard. You cannot really change Gordon's appearance at all, Benrey's is MEANT to be changed, ect. I like stuff like that idk

Coomer: Tamogatchi. Easy. You ever seen Wreck-It Ralph? He moves like the Nicelanders from that movie, but with a lot more casual glitching. His speech pattern is basically identical to canon. My guy has ADHD and a terrible memory, so although he's kind, he's not super reliable. He's been here for a LONG time.

I do not know what Forzen and Darnold would look like.

Sunkist is one of those lil ducklings on wheels little kids play with, but ofc a dog instead of a duck.

If/when Joshua shows up, Gordon would be SO upset. Relieved as well, but mostly concerned. I was thinking he could either be a lion, too, cuz the idea of a lion cub is SO CUTE, but I think him being a horse makes more sense for his personality. Cowboy horsie!

Before anyone asks, yes, Gordon DOES run on all fours if he wants to be faster

I have zero idea as to where Gman fits into this. Maybe he MADE the program, I don't know.

Anyway, yeah! :)

#hlvrai au #hlvrai #tadc #the amazing digital circus #crossover #gordon martinis freeman #gordon feetman #bubby #tommy coolatta #benrey #benry #dr coomer #dr bubby

[bomberqueen17]

adderall day 1

I'm not going to have any particular deep thoughts about this, but I feel like I should write stuff down. Several people have advised that.

I still don't know how much this is going to cost me, as my insurance couldn't be verified and I'm going to have to do messy things probably to find out. But I've got the pills in my hot little hand, 16 of them, and a follow-up appointment, and perhaps by then I'll know what this is actually costing.

It seems that it varies wildly how people manage to get ADHD dx's. Many many PCPs will not diagnose it or prescribe for it. It seems extremely gatekeepy to me, and not in a helpful way. my own PCP, as I describe more and more of my struggles to get healthcare in general, is being revealed to me to be less and less of any kind of a good fit-- she just seems baffled by everything I say. She asked if I have heartburn, for example, and I said, truthfully, oh yes, if I don't eat regularly, one of the ways I realize I've gone too long is that I start to have heartburn. So I've learned to be conscientious about my eating schedule, and eat small meals and snacks at regular intervals throughout the day, and that has cleared up the problem. And this actively baffled her, she was like "i've never heard of anything like this", and I can't imagine what she thought I was saying. Does no one else in the human race ever get queasy/stomach-acidy from going too long without food? Especially eating heavily and then not eating for a long time afterward? That's the worst for me, so I avoid that. I highly doubt I am the only person ever to experience this. But she seemed convinced that I must not know what heartburn is.

That's just one example. So. If I can get my head on straight at all, I am going to start looking for a new primary care physician. I'm sure this doctor is fine, just not for me.

(She is obsessed that my fasting blood glucose levels are too high. I read an article about it, in the 2010s sometime the CDC decided that 5.7 was a new worrying number (I don't know what the units are, but 7 is what people with well-managed diabetes shoot for), and now they were going to declare this new number "pre-diabetes" and start medicating it. The WHO has refused the concept of "pre-diabetes", pointing out that about 2% of people with this number wind up developing full-blown diabetes whether medicated or not, and that's about the same number of people who develop diabetes without having had this diagnosis, so it is in fact not any kind of reliable indicator of looming diabetes, so it should be referred to as "elevated fasting blood glucose levels" and not the new fictional "pre-diabetes". But there's money in selling that medicine, so American doctors are encouraged to make this diagnosis. And my doctor has put it into my chart that she plans to start me on Metformin if this number does not go down.

I'm refusing that. Medicate me for diabetes if I develop diabetes. I can be annually screened for it just like anyone. Sure, keep an eye on it! I take this seriously. But i am not getting medicated for a condition the WHO thinks is fictional. Thanks.)

Anyway that was a digression.

I'm hoping to at least make a start on dialing in my meds with this online guy, so that when I switch PCPs I can show up with the ADHD treatment as a fait accomplit and not have the new PCP throw a fit. I might try it with the current one too-- "Idk you told me it was incredibly complicated and insurance doesn't cover it so I went to my insurance company and they sent me to this guy and it wasn't complicated at all and I'm responding super well to the treatment so I guess this is what I do now?" but I am just anticipating her throwing a fit of some kind, since she is absolutely convinced I have major depressive disorder and has been trying to get me to go back on Celexa, which did me so much no good that I cold-turkeyed off it and gave myself horrible brain zaps. Don't fucking do that guys.

(It was with this same practice! It's on there, I no-showed to an appointment because I had so little executive function I wasn't even able to keep track of it! And she's still like yah medicating u for depression is super what's going to work. ma'am i have never been suicidal but I remember being on Celexa and most of it was my shitty life situation at the time but mostly it is a gray expanse of despair and ineffectualness, and getting inexorably fatter whilst starting to develop an eating disorder about it, and getting benched by my roller derby coach despite exercising myself to constant exhaustion and performing better than I ever had on the track because she saw my spreading waistline and assumed I was slacking off, and anyway. Yeah no.)

So anyway. I'm letting myself be stream of consciousnessy because it seems right. I had a reasonable breakfast, a lot of water, some coffee, a multivitamin, and my first pill about an hour ago, and am now ensconced in the recliner with the cat because the cat insists. I have started to feel.... kind of... like my throat feels kind of dry so I'm drinking more water, and I just got a little bit not quite dizzy and am acutely aware of all my eye movements, so I guess that's notable.

OK the plan. I would like to someday be able to make to-do lists, that's a medium-term goal. Meanwhile I'm still doing narratives of how i'd like a day to go. I have fallen off that a bit; I've been trying to do not a bullet journal but a just regular day planner in this new year (i got something on clearance off amazon lol) and mostly what I've used it for is as a diary post-hoc, writing down what i got done, and making little notes of what I want to get done, because otherwise my memory wipes itself and I don't know what I did all last week either. I fell off it this week because Dude was out of town and I was off kilter. But I'm going to fill back in what I can remember-- I'm keeping track of what meals I cook, what exercise I do, things like that-- and hope to keep it up going forward.

Routine, I hope, is what will help me.

Today. It is rainy today. I didn't get some of my stuff done while Dude was gone because of course the list I made would have taken six weeks of work, that's how my lists go. But I did get a lot done, so I'm going to write all that down. And today it is rainy, so I can spend time in the basement. What I want to do is empty out all my nice baskets I use to tote craft things around, and re-fill them with more curated selections. I think one basket for like, all the sewing tools, just all of them, in one place, and then another basket that is like, all of the embroidery supplies, and then a container that is An Adequate Selection Of Thread and also machine-sewing supplies? maybe? and then Active Projects can go into a third container that may or may not travel with me. Anyway, thinking about that is a work in progress.

I need to pack for my first trip of the season to the farm. I need to put away all the supplies from painting the kitchen, because I am finally officially totally completely done with that. I need to then tidy the kitchen counter and there's a little wooden cart that used to have our coffee stuff on it and I've been using it to dump all the shit and assorted project detritus from the ongoing painting on, and I need to then move that cart somewhere once I've put away all the things on it.

That seems like a reasonable amount of things to expect to complete today. OK I need to get out from under this cat because I have to pee now. All right. She'll be fine she just wants the chair really.

Yah ok i really gotta pee and dude is in the shower so i'm going to go get dressed and dance around a little lolsob. wish me luck.

#about the author #B vs ADHD

[piratefishmama]

I got tagged in a questions thingy.

by: @w1ll0wtr33  thanks sweets!

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope, my name was in fact a mistake made by a nurse! It was supposed to be a hyphenated combination of my first and middle name, but the person doing the birth certificate made an error.

2. when was the last time you cried?

Like… fully? Uhm. August? The day before my dad got out of the hospital I had a full blown panic attack cause I knew I’d be alone in taking care of his asshole self and wasn’t prepared to do that. There was crying involved in that.

3. do you have kids?

I would sooner rip my own uterus and womb out, Netflix Witcher style than have children.

Storytime: My mum once bought me a £75 stroller and doll, an this was years ago, like, single digits age range so that was EXPENSIVE for the time (fuck man, it’s expensive now lmao), I… left it out as far away from the house as I, at my age, could... in the rain. An it was all silk and satin material so it was well and truly fucked.

They stopped expecting eventual grandchildren from me very early on in my life.

4. What sports do you/have you play/played?

Does archery count? I feel like archery should count lmao I do archery, and I used to do ju-jitsu, I have medals somewhere for ju-jitsu, god knows where though my medals were never worth keeping track of apparently. My brother's are in his old room.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Fluently.

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

That they’ve invaded my carefully curated alone time and thus have become my enemy.

7. what’s your eye colour?

Hazel, with more green than brown.

They're also my favourite eye colour too! there’s so many variations of it, do you have more green or brown in it? is there a ring of darker colour around your iris or not? Hazel has so many variations it’s such a pretty eye colour to have and it changes. Hazel eyes are magic.

8. scary movies or happy endings?

Thanks to my truly stellar vivid imagination and Childhood Trauma™️, I cannot watch scary movies. At least not ones that have plausibility. Like they could happen. Because for some reason, everytime I watch one of those, my brain ever so lovingly decides to recreate the movie in the form of a nightmare where all the starring cast are people I actually care about an I’m just. watching them all die.

It's never fun. And I can never escape it. Even waking up, if I go to sleep, I will go right back into that nightmare, there’s no escape.

9. any talents?

Many! i have ADHD and autism, I have so many random skills. The only one I can reliably do on command though is writing. I can draw, paint, sew, sing, dance, and many others… sometimes, but the only one I can reliably do without fail, is write.

10. where were you born?

Britain. You don’t get closer than that I ain’t about to dox myself.

11. what are your hobbies?

Writing, reading, video games, creating shit.

12. do you have any pets?

Hope and Shadow are my two dogs, you all know them by now I’m sure. I have a shitton of tropical fish in tanks both upstairs and down, I did have a very smol bird but I had to put him up for adoption as unfortunately he and Hope simply did not get along, she made him very anxious and he made her hungry for bird.

13. how tall are you?

I’m tiny, 4’11.

14. favourite subject in school?

English. I had a great teacher. It would have been art but unfortunately I hated my teacher, and my teacher hated me and that made the lessons very uncomfortable.

15. dream job?

I would love to work with animals. Animals are easier than people.

And no, i'm not tagging people.

#tag games #personal

[cpunkhobie]

slip you care abt psychology right? do you know much about the actual factual disproving of “narcissistic abuse”?

someone i know sincerely believes they are a victim of that and it can be so agonizing to listen to them talking about it when i don’t know any sort of scientific talking points that disprove it (this person SOLELY likes “facts and scientific studies”, i have attempted to appeal to moral/pathos arguments before with “well it’s kind of weird to label an entire group of people as abusive” and that has Not worked)

Ok well to start off with the common sense argument:

Narcissistic personality disorder is a Disorder, rather than a personality trait. Saying that you or someone else is a victim of “narcissistic abuse” is like saying you’re a victim of anxiety abuse or ptsd abuse or adhd abuse and so on.

Let’s also re-clarify that people with mental disorders and especially personality disorders have no control over how their disorder effects them, often with or without extensive therapy and psychological treatment.

The first resources you see when you look up narcissistic abuse are also Better Help and Talk Space which have already been disproven by multiple therapists, other therapy resources, and many users as straight up scams or otherwise unreliable resources for psychology and therapeutic practice. Scrolling through the results there are also no other reliable sources claiming that narcissistic abuse exists.

Let’s also debunk a few arguments for its existence:

“People with narcissistic abuse are cold and calculated with their abuse”

That is an abusive behavior and an abuse strategy, not inherently tied to the abuser having NPD. It’s also important to clarify that nearly all abusive relationships have factors or periods of time where the abuser is cold or unloving. This can be shown in many ways, the most common or well-known one being the silent treatment. Basically is shows that the abuser has the choice to not communicate without it effecting them at all, whether that’s the case or not, and that the victim as no power over that.

A lot of that is fluff— point is, being cold and unloving in an abusive relationship is not tied to NPD. That’s something that is common in relationships where neither party have NPD.

“Narcissists will abuse covertly rather than openly ; covert abuse vs open abuse”

This is just so fucking stupid, no one is going to go “look at me !! I’m abusing you!!!.” Abusive relationships exist where someone holds public favor or being in public over a persons head. This can be done through public humiliation, public berating, or otherwise triggering an argument in a public space. It’s also important to mention that threatening these things is also considered abusive behavior. So again, covert abuse does not mean the person is or was narcissist.

“It’s not because narcissistic abuse is real, it’s just from them being a narcissist.”

Then you’re a bad person.

God and even from a moral standpoint it’s just wrong. Attacking an entire group of already vulnerable and villainized people just because you can’t think of another fucking term to use is mean. It’s just fucking mean.

So let’s just say:

Narcissistic Abuse isn’t it’s own thing, it’s a rebranded Emotional Abuse.

Just look at what the fuck Talkspace has to say about it:

All of these things are emotionally abusive behaviors. NONE of them are strictly related to NPD , and an abuser DOES NOT need NPD to do any of things.

And just a general thing - if any of your sources are from for profit sites like mayoclinic , betterhelp or talk space don’t listen to a WORD of what they have to say. Chances are it’s not up to date, not accurate, or they’re spreading false information.

sorry this took so long to respond to but here’s another post where I also talk more about how bullshit “narcissistic abuse” is.

And if you’re an abuse victim reading this who uses this kind of language - from one to another: attacking a vulnerable group of people is not worth reclaiming your power. No matter how much it feels in the moment you don’t have to tear people down who weren’t responsible for your abuse. I promise

But ya that’s it hope this helps o7

#mental health #abuse mention #honestly I feel like this ended up being a whole lot of nothing so I do recommend looking at my other post about it ToT #jonahs lemonade stand

[classicintp]

Hey Tumblr, you guys typically have great advice for the most inane of personal problems no one otherwise ever has good solutions to, so help me out. What are the best ways to stop songs repeating in your head? I will go weeks and weeks repeating the refrain or chorus of a song I like and it drives me mad.

Suggestions cannot include listening to the song in question (does not work, whether it's listening to the whole song deliberately or repeating it over and over until I get sick of it), nor listening to a different song (I don't want another song stuck in my head either).

It's an ADHD thing. If I'm not particularly restless and assuming I've properly taken my medication I can sit and clear my mind and meditate a little bit and the music will stop, but when I'm trying to work or focus on something, the most recently listened to catchy song will play on repeat and I hate it. Especially when I'm trying to focus on a physical task, it distracts me; it causes forgetfulness to ramp up and I am using enough mental energy on singing the song in my head or outloud that it causes me to make mistakes in the work I'm doing. I definitely have clear periods where I am working and think "No music stuck in my head, great!" and my tasks are practically flawless, but when a song is stuck in my head? Constant mistakes.

I've been told it's understimulation: that my brain is trying to reinforce the stimulation my task is giving by artificially injecting easily-created superficial stimulation. I've been told it's overstimulation: that my brain is trying to relieve the pressure of stimulation by dampening what it receives by forcing itself to play a physically silent, easy to repeat loop. I've been told it's from low dopamine, I've been told it's from high serotonin.. I don't really care why, I just want to be able to acknowledge I've been repeating a catchy song for long enough to upset me and be able to stop as soon as possible and as reliably as I can when it causes problems.

#personal #about me #add #adhd #brain hurty #help #op

[textingaboutprometheus]

Okay if you're not gonna judge me then here we go. The specific person J is looking for:

Must be willing and able to make a strong commitment. This does not necessarily mean monogamy or marriage but does mean consistency, reliability and solid teamwork in partnership.

Must be at least sincerely open to the idea of coparenting or step-parenting, and also be potentially good at this role. (Or already having kids of their own would be even better.) Family-oriented.

Must be understanding about mental health and not take moodiness or the occasional sharp words or ADHD-type distractedness too personally.

Must not be excessively needy but must also not be so independent-minded that they don't even notice someone dropping hints about what they need, because J doesn't always (or often) come right out with it.

Must be good at regular daily planning. Must show up on time. Must be present when present.

Must be physically affectionate. (Remember quality time & touch are the love languages here.)

Must not be a huge party type; great if they are adventurous, but should also enjoy quiet evenings and early mornings.

Should be ambitious about what they do but not so self-focused that they can't make time for someone who is extremely busy.

Has to have a very sharp intellect and great sense of humor, and be very interesting. A positive, fun, optimistic attitude, also a plus.

Ideally should be Jewish or at least non-WASP. I know this one is a long shot bc we all know J loves his WASPs from Connecticut but jmho, it is working strongly against him. A shared cultural understanding and cultural humor style would be very helpful.

Relatedly: absolutely must be a pragmatic leftist Democrat but must also understand that some of J's loved family members are conservative & must be willing to tolerate that.

Needs to be firmly LA-area based but would be helpful if they are from the East Coast and have that East Coast energy.

Must have a backbone & be willing to stand up for themselves but not actually (consciously or subconsciously) enjoy constant fighting or provoke it for excitement/out of anxiety.

Must be straightforward, even blunt, and very honest. No one manipulative, secretive, or passive-aggressive.

Must be sexy and a little bit saucy. Kind but not too polite. Needs to be able to be teased and tease back.

I could go on but this is already long enough lol. Tell Is**c Mizr*hi to call me so I can give him the list!

Co sign this list. But also, someone Pundit likes. Someone who likes videogames. And Someone who bullies him as a flirtation device because Lovett likes that sort of thing.

[takerfoxx]

The Owl House, Season 3, Episode 2, "For the Future," First Impressions!

I knew this was gonna be big.

I knew this was gonna be emotional.

I did not know it was going to hit me like it did, or for the reason that it did.

I wasn't expecting this episode to speak to me personally the way it did, I really wasn't. I was gearing up to see what the Collector had done to the Boiling Isles; to be reunited with Eda, King, Lilith, Hooty, and the rest; to finally see Luz's palisman, to see what Belos was going to do, and all that other stuff that we've been speculating for months about.

Instead, this episode hit me in a way that I haven't experienced very often. It spoke to my own experiences.

I'll cover the lesser (but still very important) moment first, and surprisingly it came from Willow.

Now, I haven't talked much about Willow. She's fine! She's an important part of the cast! But let's face it: for character discussion, she just kept getting overshadowed by the absolute angst factories that are literally every single other main character. Even Gus had more going on in that department!

But like everyone else, it seems that I've been taking her for granted. It really does suck to be the reliable one, to be the one expected to carry the team, to be the one to set your own problems aside for the sake of other people. I've been there, many times. And honestly, like Willow, I'm kind of nearing a break down of my own. You really do start to feel like you don't matter, that your own hurt is unimportant, but if you don't take it on the chin and keep truckin', everything will fall apart and it'll be all your fault.

So yeah, I'm glad that they gave her that moment. Maybe it got tied up a little too neatly and could have stood to have been foreshadowed a little more in previous episodes, but then again, maybe that was the point.

The other moment should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me and has read my other comments on this show, and it serves as a MASSIVE emotional payoff to my one big gripe about The Owl House, one that I've had since the very first episode.

So, we all remember that camp Luz was being sent to, right? Remember all the fuss people kicked up over it, saying that it was basically conversion therapy and that Camilla was abusive for sending her there. It was a real point of contention for a while.

And I'll admit, I was one of those people. I'm neurodivergent myself. I'm autistic and have ADHD, and my parents tried a number of bullshit methods to make me "normal." It was all with the best of intentions, and none of them were as bad as sending me to conversion therapy, but it does mean it is something I'm pretty sensitive about. So when I saw that flyer, I just got the most uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like, how could you do that to your child? And since that was literally the last thing we saw Camilla doing until Yesterday's Lie (aside from a couple quick Vee segments), that feeling stayed for a long time.

Obviously everything we learned changed my perception. Like I've said before, I think the writers realized their whoopsie and made sure to address that, and they did so in the best way possible: weave it into the storyline and use it for character development. Vee's friends showed that maybe the camp wasn't as bad as we feared, Luz really did have behavioral problems that needed addressing, and Camilla was a harried single mother still grieving her husband just trying to do what was best.

But we also learned more about Luz. She wasn't acting out just because she's a wacky kid with ADHD. Maybe that contributed, but she was acting out because she was also grieving. Her father was her bedrock, the guy that truly understood her and kept her grounded, and with him gone, she was desperate for some kind of validation. Her antics were a cry for help, which is why the Boiling Isles was so good for her.

Seeing those two finally sit down and talk about what happened really hit me where I live. They're both neurodivergent weirdoes that have tried to hide what they are to fit in and were deeply hurt by losing the one person that understood them, and in the process unintentionally hurt each other. I loved this. It reminded me of Entrapta's "Imperfections can be Beautiful" speech from She-Ra.

And as it so happens, that bit of honesty is what was needed to finally awaken Luz's palisman. Everyone? Meet Stringbean!

I love the cheeky little references to everyone's speculations of what Luz's palisman might be. And as it turns out, everyone was kind of right! In keeping with the theme of Luz's palisman choosing what it wants to be, it's a snakeshifter! Oh, that is clever.

But also, snake people were also right. Personally I was thinking spider, but even so. We have our new baby!

Oh God, Luz has a staff. Everyone, fear her.

Speaking of palismans, Hunter is still grieving the loss of Flapjack and NOT doing okay, but I'm glad he got that catharsis of realizing that Flapjack is still literally a part of him. It's small solace, but it is something. And as a lot of people predicted, he now has the magic that he formerly could only use through technology. The poor boy, though. I'm glad he and Willow are starting to inch toward one another. They do seem right for each other.

Okay, time to talk about plot stuff!

The Hexside stuff was a ball. I did sort of call Boscha's minions being Kikimora, though it didn't click that her big robot was involved until a few moments before the reveal. And give it up for the best tribute to the best principal!

I miss you, Principal Bump.

Also, credit for Mattholomule for stepping up! Gotta say, he's looking a lot like his big brother now, so much so that for a second I really thought that he was Steve!

I do hope Boscha gets some comeuppance. Not a whole lot, just some humble pie. Willow really owes her a smack. Still, I did crack a smile when Boscha desperately begged for Amity back. Amity was Queen Bee, and Boscha was her sycophantic minion, and can't do it without her, lol!

Now, the Collector!

I do feel sorry for this kid, despite the damage he's doing. I mean, the Collector is just a kid, one that was alone for a really, really long time, was betrayed several times, and doesn't fully understand what he's were doing. Doesn't excuse the pain he's caused (okay, the Terra thing was pretty funny, and we all love to see Odalia get humilated), but it is understandable, at least.

We also get some lore! Collectors literally collect living beings, which explains what that long one was doing to the owl beast, and why the Titan Trappers called our Collector the Great Hunter. But they are also predisposed to wipe out mortals that interfere with their affairs, which our Collector doesn't care for.

Huh, I wonder who sealed the Collector. Was it their natural enemies the Titans, or his own kind for not going along with their genocidal tendencies?

Speaking of villains, damn it Belos, why you gotta be so creepy? Does that mean all of his bodies are former Golden Guards and he possesses each one once they've been used up? No, wait, he still has the broken nose Lilith gave him. Regardless, possessing Raine will not end well for him. But you can't say he doesn't know how to manipulate the Collector, the poor kid.

Man, I know he was probably hallucinating those ghosts, but it would be really cool if they were real and drag him down to Hell or whatever.

Glad Eda and Lilith are doing okay, and that Hooty managed to at least regain some sanity. Seriously, the hell is he even? Also, I actually like that Lilith is going back to her old hair color.

What else, what else, what else?

Okay, where is Steve and the rest of the CATTs? I want my boy! And Katya! I will continue to uphold my fanfiction queen until the day I die!

Also, damn it, Edric! Stop hurting yourself!

#the owl house #toh #luz noceda #camila noceda #willow park #hunter clawthorne #amity blight #the collector #king clawthorne #gus porter #boscha #kikimora #belos #for the future #review #spoilers #Youtube

[nibwhipdragon]

I’m back to explode you. 3, 4, 5, 7, 20, 22, 23, 28, 29 and 30. Ceajose. Ask game. 💥💥💥

HAUGHHH TIME FOR THE SECOND SECTION OF DIVORCE DUO

3. Who cooks? Who cleans up? Who's banned from the kitchen?

Caesar cooks because GOD Joseph is clueless. He wants to teach him but gets stressed thinking about it because with practising surely stuff will go wrong, and that means food will be wasted. Sure, Caesar isn't on the streets, nor is he poor anymore, but those habits have still carried over into his more comfortable life. However, Joseph is pretty damn good at cleaning things so he does that instead.

4. What's their favourite sleeping/cuddling positions?

HAUGHHHH! AUGHHHH!

Ok so usually they cuddle/sleep in what I like to call the "pancake stack" position, which is pretty much just having a person lay on top of you for a hug, like two pancakes on one another. Does it have a proper name? Probably but idk it

As a person who is friends with like uhh...6+ people (I think? Hard to keep track) who have ADHD, I can very much confirm that they usually like pressure on them, it's relaxing to them. Because Joseph definitely has ADHD, he'd be on the bottom and Caesar would be on top. Caesar usually rests his head on Joseph's chest and listens to his heartbeat when they go to sleep, it's comforting to him.

In other situations, such as laying on a sofa watching TV, they like to spoon. Both of them want to be the big spoon however,

Joseph manages to convince Caesar to be big spoon most of the time, because it makes more sense for the bigger person to be the big spoon

5. Who does what chores?

Tbh I've read this and my mind has completely blanked on what a chore is. Ummmm

OK SO Joseph would definitely do the more "fun" chores such as gardening, and Caesar would do the more mundane chores that would definitely bore Joseph into the point of being unable to do them (woah look at that! ADHD again! Get this man some fucking adderall!). Caesar wishes they could change it up sometimes but this way is the most reliable way of splitting the workload

Answered 7 in the ask Kirsten sent me so I'll skip

20. What clothes/accessories do they steal from each other?

Due to the size difference, I don't think Joseph would steal clothes. He would steal Caesar's jewellery just to piss him off though.

Caesar would definitely wear Joseph's pajamas or something, Joseph's clothes are very soft and comfy but they do not look good enough to be seen in in public to him. In retaliation to the jewellery thing, Caesar would steal one part of a sock pair from Joseph. Do you know how horrible unmatched socks are

Answered 22 in the ask Kirsten sent me so I skip. I did write a fic where I explored my ideas on this though, if you wanna check that out? (Definitely not advertising my fics to you. Definitely not.)

23. Do they like pickup lines?

Caesar uses pickup lines all the time because he has no idea how to try woo someone without them. Joseph thinks they're shallow and that you could do so much more to try woo a person. They both use them. Joseph's a hypocrite

Answered 28 in the ask Kirsten sent me (WOW, you two have a lot of the same questions my god)

29. What is something they can never agree on? How do they meet in the middle?

Tbh they'd only really never see eye-to-eye on trivial stuff like Pineapple On Pizza. And because it's trivial, you know those two are gonna get super competitive over it. They do not meet in the middle. They fight to the death instead

30. Free space! Say something about this ship that you want to say!

Sometimes I think about the fact that Joseph was arrested 3 times before getting past his teen years. And that with him being so ADHD-coded and it being the 1920-30's he probably got so misunderstood and ostracised by adults and his peers. And I think about how easily aggressive he gets to people for the littlest transgressions against him, like it's some sort of safety net, a "fuck off, I can fight back, don't even THINK of picking on me", like he expects it to get worse. I think about the fact he has no friends, apart from Smokey (when he was 19, mind you), who was also being wrongly ostracised and discriminated against by others, but with no power to fight back. I think about the fact that Joseph is so bad at communicating that he pisses everyone off all the time. I think about the fact that there seems to be disconnect between Joseph and Speedwagon and Erina, like he isn't as close to them as the story makes it out to be.

I think about Caesar, and the fact he had to take care of his siblings from such a young age he probably didn't get much education. I think about the fact that he eventually left them behind for whatever reason (their deaths, possibly), joining a gang where he could only rely on himself, nobody ever truly being trustable. I think about the fact that he had to become aggressive and violent to have a chance at surviving the world he was in, much like Joseph. I think about the fact that Caesar truly had nobody until he found Lisa Lisa. I think about the fact that his lack of education meant he had less interaction with peers of the same age, missing out on crucial social skills development.

Caesar is hurt by the world he lives in. Nobody except for a very select few, quite literally only two in Lisa Lisa and Suzi (until Battle Tendency at least), are trustable. Even then, he keeps a distance. Joseph is hurt by the world he lives in. Nobody except for a select few, quite literally only two in Erina and Speedwagon (until Battle Tendency at least), are trustable. Even then, he keeps a distance.

I think about the fact that despite this all, the two, so wary of others and scarred and hurt, manage to get along despite their tendency to fight, and forge a strong bond. They well and truly trust each other, they know the other has their back. I wonder if they see themselves in the other, that even though they don't know each other's past, they're both coming from a place only the other can well and truly understand.

They make me so sick. Nobody gets these two like I do.

I think they should also divorce

#ask game answers #literally ask me anything abt caejose and i can answer #jjba #joseph joestar #caesar anthonio zeppeli #caejose

[pikechris]

people are sometimes surprised when I say that I actually like my job in a service station deli. well first of all this is ireland, 98% of customer interactions are polite and pleasant and the worst thing that can happen to me personally is when we get a bus full of teenagers who want chicken fillet rolls. or even worse, two in one day. happened this tuesday. but also i've found that it's actually perfect for my autism/adhd brain because:

I do the same things every day. there are tasks that have to be done every day and tasks that have to be done every week on a specific day. perfect. it's the thing others complain about the most, but me? just how I prefer it

constantly moving and doing something is what keeps me stimulated and staves off boredom aka the worst feeling ever. it gets pretty busy sometimes, which, ideal! I haven't had to touch a stim toy for MONTHS because I put all that excess energy to violently scrubbing dishes

I'm honestly the perfect employee because when I happen to have nothing to do I look for things to clean and tidy and shit and if that doesn't help I ask the manager for extra tasks to keep those hands occupied lol

re: previous point. I'm Fast so I always do everything that needs to be done, too. mostly because my brain takes the rules seriously and when the paperwork says I have to do something. well then I'll bloody well do it won't I. it says it right there. they like me because they know I'm reliable unlike the students who do weekends and even exceed expectations sometimes hah

clear instructions, love em. here I always know what to do and how to do it

the customer interactions follow a similar pattern and are almost always the same so I know what to say and ask and it's not stressful

sometimes people ask me where to find things and such and I Iove a) knowing things and being somebody who knows them and b) telling people about something I know, so it doesn't bother me

there's a whole bunch of safety compliance paperwork tasks like taking temperatures of food every hour that everyone finds annoying. but I love numbers and measuring things and statistics!! it's like ooh I wonder what's the temperature of this soup?? and then I stick a probe in there and find out and write it down! neat. tracking how quickly things cool down in the hot counter is entertaining

there's always 50 things to do at once. I will start 10 at a time. it works out fine. I can check the task list to see if I did it and tick it off. adhd kept in check ✓

others repeat the customers' orders to them to make sure they're getting it right so when I do it because echolalia & needing it to process the information, it goes unnoticed!!

I hate silence so the constant noise of the ovens and the radio and such are a good background noise. plus no one minds when I sing along to the radio as a stim because everyone does it, which is also why I feel safe enough to do so in the first place

no seriously doing stuff gives me energy, so I'm not tired after an 8.5 hour shift (this is even an observation others have made) and still can do the shopping, cook dinner, cook lunch for next day and be busy until midnight. something I couldn't do when studying, which was an energy drainer. huh

(I haven't had this much energy and motivation to do things since I was a CHILD. I'm not joking. I also haven't had a shutdown or anxiety attack or even a bad day in ages since I moved and started working. lying in bed depressed and feeling like I can't breathe? don't know her. also I can actually fall asleep immediately. my brain just shuts down. a feeling I haven't known for years. what is this magic)

I get to put things in the oven and make pizzas and bread and scones from scratch and generally do things I like and am good at and get paid for it! fuck yeah baking!!

I get to clean and put things in order and organise stock and the cold room and freezers and implement Systems and make things Full and GET PAID FOR IT

regular shifts 10-18, perfect, I don't have to get up too early either. allows for going to sleep at midnight and still getting the sweet eight hours

everybody is kind of doing their own thing most of the time and we're all busy so I'm not required to talk to my coworkers if I don't want to. but I can if I do. we all get along well. also good

sometimes I have an issue remembering how many fillings I put in that person's wrap if I wasn't paying that much attention but it's fine, if I charge them 40c less no one will know. there is no failing and no points deducted for a wrong answer. it's chill, no anxiety induced

I'm mostly on my own from 11:30ish until the end, the deli is my kingdom, I make the decisions, no one is in the way, I like it. I like it less when it's busy but I'm capable of handling it either way so eh *shrug*

i have a very good memory (when I do pay attention) so when there are regulars who order the same one or two things I remember them fast and now it's like. white wrap, peppers and plain chicken? and they're like. yeah!! :) I get to make someone happy with something so simple :)

sometimes people eat truly bizarre sandwiches and stuff and I get to internally laugh and/or wonder what the fuck is that. sometimes we actually do laugh about it after. it's fun

I'm also apparently the best new person they've ever had in this shop because I learn extremely fast so that's nice to hear lmao

i easily follow safety regulations such as wearing gloves at all times because dirty dishes and wet bits of food in the sink and raw meat and greasy utensils and sticky bread dough and the inside of the oven mitts are yucky to touch so that's another win-win for them and me

if not the company owner then at least the shop and deli managers are amazing. they will tell you to take any wastage you want without paying for it (because that is a stupid rule that exists that everyone thinks is nonsense and ignores. what's the difference if an out of date bag of crisps goes in the bin or is eaten?) just don't tell the boss, and will go out for drinks with you, and act like normal human beings who are a delight to work with

as a christmas bonus we all got a €50 one4all gift card which everyone thought was sort of shite and useless but are you kidding me? that means a free coffee machine. I got a free coffee machine with it. and a big discount on noise-cancelling wireless earbuds that are actually good and have a long battery life. amazing I'm telling you

yes we get the minimum wage but as someone who never worked or had much money I can live so well off of it? i can comfortably pay for rent and electricity and two grocery shoppings a week that aren't cheap, put a bunch aside, buy some treats online when I feel like it, go places every other week, and still have enough left. I flew to london in december just because. spent £130 on a concert ticket to the o2. I visit places that are a bit further away and stay a night or two once a month. I feel like I eat like a king when I have stuff like homemade bread with avocado spread, homemade cake, fresh strawberries and stuff for breakfast all the time. and that's just for cleaning and making sandwiches?? it sometimes feels unreal to me that I do it for money at all. it's like. housework. things I do anyway all the time at home. I have no reason to complain lol

anyway this is just how I personally feel :') but yeah I like working? who'd have thought. not me. I also feel like I'm the only one there who does. or anywhere really. because I'm so used to retail and service jobs being connected with annoyance and hate and doing them out of necessity etc etc... so I wanted to share that little bit of positive experience I guess. and needed to rant about it somewhere.

is it weird that working 42 hours a week in a shop improved my mental health? probably. but I also get it and can't believe I didn't figure it out earlier because. it's the moving lads. I'm in a constant state of busy. once I stop doing things and start lying in bed all day it goes downhill and the energy and motivation don't come back. but now? that's impossible. even on weekends. I can't put off the ironing because I need the uniform. I have to cook because I can't live on cheese toasties and the veg in the fridge is gonna go off if I don't use it. I have to travel because there's nothing to do in town except lying in bed all day. and once I make a Plan, not even the rain or having to get up at 6:30 to catch the morning bus stops me from following it. and I don't mean that in a stressful grind culture way, I mean it in a helpful actually-it's-pretty-slow-and-quiet way! I found a way of hacking the executive dysfunction completely by accident here and. it's a job

#personal #sofi.txt #ireland #neurodiversity #autism #adhd #audhd #note: I don't mind noises but i do have issues with auditory processing in loud places #so sometimes i do have to ask them to repeat the order because i heard shit #but it's fine #i copied the polite sentence patterns of my co-workers hah #it's fine it's fine it's me practising small talk and interacting with neurotypicals and '''fitting in''' #and about exceeding expectations just today i came into a bit of chaos bc my regular shift partner wasn't there #and what needs to be done every day is the tray up in the freezer where we prep rolls pastries fillets etc for the next day #someone has to be out front when that's done #and the managers were in the deli today totally ready to do other things as soon as i came in #and leave me to it #i said i'd do the tray up first #they were like. ok... you can #it's a trolley with 8 trays #i did it in 9 minutes #that's normal. that it takes me 10 or so minutes #but when i came back they were staring like. you aren't DONE are you? #i was like. yeah? i said i'd be quick #i love interactions like that lol. i can still surprise people by being good at my job #(one tray is for example 18 chicken fillets of 3 flavours that come in 3 bags which i have to pull them out of 2 at a time) #(or a selection of scones and pastries stored chaotically in bags on top of each other because there's no space)

[infisonicosm]

I'd love a little ship, and I'm sending this on anon so my lane doesn't influence your choice.

Some basics: I'm 22 and graduated in December with a bachelors in criminology and psychology. I'm 4'11 and love my height, I have a coworker who is the victim of all my short jokes because they're also my height. (This is why I love a short king). I have three dogs who are the lights of my life, and I'm sadly allergic to cats. The cat allergy doesn't stop me from loving on them though. My hobbies include knitting, puzzles, collecting things (interesting money, vintage glass, etc), and listening to music. My favorite colors are purple and mint green.

While I absolutely suck at cooking most things, I love baking and learning new ways of brewing coffee. I started as a coffee snob, believe it or not, but now I'll drink it however because I love it (and also the caffeine addiction). Coffee, by all accounts is my most expensive special interest, and I have a fully dedicated coffee bar in my home.

My only other special interests are dinosaurs and bees (technically other pollinators too). I come fully equipped with random facts that absolutely no one wants to know. A final bit about me: I look for people on my life who are honest, trustworthy, reliable, and compassionate. I'm one who believes in love at first sight and enduring and everlasting love, despite being a cynic and a pessimist.

This one was tough! I went back and forth on this but ultimately I ship you with Josh!

Josh has grandpa energy in certain ways that I could see him enjoying doing a puzzle with you or learning how to knit. I think knitting would be a good hobby for him to learn as it teaches patience and keeps your hands busy. As a fellow ADHD person I can attest to this cause cross stitching does the same thing LOL. He'd be so entranced learning the different knitting patterns you can do and would probably just zone out watching your hands move on auto pilot.

Cooking is another thing! I think Josh has a sweet tooth and I think it kills him that he cant have chocolate or sugar while on tour. His favorite part about coming home to you after touring would be all the sweets you bake for him. Groaning and moaning about how he can't believe he went do long without your baking and demands you send some with him next time even though he can't eat it.

Not to make you combust but Josh would totally plant a pollinator garden for you so you can watch the bees AND look at pretty plants. He'd claim it's for both of you to enjoy but it's really just for you. He'd love nothing more than watching you relax while watching the garden, going as far as to add in a swing and some bird feeders. Essentially just building you your own lil oasis.

#shelly's saturday sleepover #shelly ships #greta van fleet #gvf #josh kiszka #josh gvf

[rainbowsky]

This question is totally irrelevant to ggdd but since you seem very self-aware and has mentioned that you are on the autistic spectrum, I wanted to ask you something. I have a colleague who I'm pretty sure is autistic. She masks well enough but I recognized her some of her symptoms because I am neurodivergent (ADHD) myself. Whenever I read a post or article on autistic symptoms, she fits to a T. And she has mentioned to me that her sister is on the autistic spectrum so it makes even more+ (1/3)

sense that she is autistic as well. problem is, she does not know she could be autistic. she thinks she doesn't fit into the world and nobody likes her. which, she's not wrong about because nobody in our team at work likes her and she also keeps telling me that she doesn't have any friends. she definitely is difficult to be friends with even for me who recognizes her neurodivergent traits and empathizes with her and tries my best to hang out with her, listen to her and stuff. my + (2/3) my question is should i just let her figure out by herself that she might be autistic or should i just be blunt and tell her? i don't know if she will take the news well so i don't really want to do it. but me realizing i had adhd really helped a LOT and made me a happier person. because it stopped me from blaming myself for being different from others. once i realized it was not something i could help, i stopper caring so much about fitting in. just wanted your opinion on this situation(3/3)

Hi Anon,

Well, you don't know if she is autistic. You suspect it, but you don't know it. Therefore 'diagnosing' her and then disclosing that diagnosis could be experienced as pretty poor boundaries as a friend. She would be justified in feeling violated by that.

However, you have an understandable desire to help your friend, and you think the information could be helpful. It does sound like she is experiencing a lot of distress in her life and interpersonal relationships, and if she's autistic a diagnosis will likely help her situation a lot. It could potentially lead to greater self-awareness and self-acceptance, and to more compassion and understanding - and better accommodations - from others.

And even if she turns out to not be autistic, an exploration of the possibilities could lead to positive things for her, and maybe even to a correct diagnosis if there's something else going on.

I lean on the side of 'you have a responsibility' to try to help her in this instance, simply because when I was diagnosed people came out of the woodwork saying they 'always thought I seemed autistic' and I was pissed that no one told me. It could have saved me years of frustration, marginalization and confusion.

But here's a general piece of advice for everyone - not just Anon:

You don't always have to approach everything as a statement or a disclosure. Most of the time questions are a kinder, gentler path to the truth.

When you approach someone with questions rather than hot takes or opinions, you give them space to find their own path to the truth. And that truth might be different than what you thought was true.

You know your friend and I don't, so you are probably better suited to figure out which questions to ask, but it sounds like it would be worthwhile to at least give her some food for thought regarding the possibility of autism. You might even want to explore this with her as a sort of fun and interesting exercise of self-discovery. You never know what you might learn about yourself as well.

There are some fairly reliable online tests that can be taken to at least get a general idea of whether a diagnosis might be worth exploring. The tests alone will not be able to tell anyone whether they're autistic, but it's a good first step to take to get a loose sense of things.

Good luck. Let me know how it works out (if you feel comfortable doing so).

#personal #ask

[maryellencarter]

so there's this word i can't remember.

i really reliably can't remember it, actually. i've been reminded what it is like half a dozen times over the years and it just never sticks. it's the only english word i've ever encountered that's that slippery for me. like yeah, i've never quite been arsed to memorize the full volcano-silicosis word because i think it's stupid that it was made up just to be the longest word when there's a shorter word people actually use for the same thing, but that's different. i remember enough of that word to google it if i need it, and that one also doesn't apply to my personal life.

so this word, which i find myself needing again. it's about conditions like being autistic or queer or disabled or like, an x-men mutant or whatever. it starts with an "e" probably, unless it doesn't, and what it means is, that you feel like the condition is a fundamental part of your identity and you wouldn't be yourself if it was taken away from you. there's an opposite word, which i *think* is just "non-[whatever this word is]", that means you feel like the condition is very much not part of your identity and you would like it to Stop if possible. (usually about conditions where that isn't possible.) currently my brain seems to be stuck on suggesting "endogenous/exogenous", which i know isn't correct.

point is, i fucking hate being autistic. or whatever the hell i am. it might just be a nasty case of undersocialization and c-ptsd caused by being raised in a very isolated situation by one person who was absolutely, inarguably autistic and one who was either autistic or really severely adhd in ways that affect social skills to the point it's extremely difficult to distinguish from autism. but either way, you can't "cure" what i've got, because you'd have to invent a way to supply thirty-odd years of undeveloped social skills as part of the cure. and i really fucking wish you could.

i've been with the same d&d group for five years and change. i love them. but i just ran into this issue again that i keep running into over the years. which is, that i tend to feel really left out and isolated once we get into the endgame, because i don't build the kind of massive emotionally investing backstory full of connections to the main plot that the other players do. our dm reminds me a whole lot of aaron allston, and you know i say that with all the respect in the world, but i can't play a main character in that style because it would literally kill me.

for this current campaign (our third, but i missed 90% of the second one due to schedule conflicts, which does *not* help with the feeling excluded thing at all because there are a bunch of references i still just completely don't understand), i basically haven't provided any backstory at all. i couldn't come up with anything i felt emotionally stable enough to handle. our dm provided some backstory conflict that i didn't enjoy but felt i couldn't push back on once it happened, and about a month ago i asked about the follow-up we seemed to be heading towards. it turned out that the dm hadn't actually planned anything more with it, and i thought we'd arranged for a little bit of closure once we got back to that part of the map.

last session, we arrived in the general area where i thought we were going to do this backstory thing. there seemed to be some references while we focused on the central plot situation (which involves the dm's wife's character, but i truly don't believe there's any unbalanced favoritism going on, this character and one other have been building heavily endgame-focused backstory ever since character creation), then we went out of town on a little sidequest. the sidequest paused at a cliffhanger, as we always do.

yesterday, we finished the sidequest. we wrapped it up and sat down to rest. in retrospect, this is the last chance i would have had to direct the plot toward where i'd planned and hoped to head next. but i didn't realize that, and by the time i did realize it, we were head over heels right back into the main plot. now we're on the fucking celestial plane, and i'm looking at even more sessions of standing around trying not to talk over the people who actually have any connections to the story outside of combat, and it's really hitting the part of me that spent my entire fucking teen years trying super hard to join in conversations and having the other people immediately change the topic to something i'd never heard of and couldn't contribute to.

(including when i was in the middle seat of a canoe between them.)

i really don't think my d&d party are trying to be jerks that way. i just... i really, really feel like i'm too damn autistic to realize when i'm supposed to say things, and i'm trying so hard to not talk over the others and to let them have their big moments, and it feels like there's no space for me to participate and try to have any big moments myself, and...

...like. i literally don't know if there's some fundamental part of what makes d&d enjoyable that i'm completely missing. am i supposed to be talking to the dm more behind the scenes? am i supposed to be focusing on building a special unique character of world-ending significance? or am i just supposed to be... keeping up, somehow, understanding the flow of the conversation and when to jump in, in a way that i'm fundamentally incapable of doing?

you're not supposed to be too autistic for d&d. that's not supposed to be a thing that happens. but that's kind of what i keep feeling like recently. and i hate it.

#i don't know how to tag this