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darlingshane · 5 months

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Salt of the Earth ~ Part 1

Pairing: Michael Berzatto x OFC

Summary: She was Carmy's best friend growing up, and Michael never looked at her as anything other than that until years later when she comes back to Chicago to start over. In the process, she turns his sorry excuse of a life upside down.

Content/Warnings: Friends to lovers, Fluff, Angst, Family Drama, Dysfunctional relationships, Implied/referenced drug addiction, Alcohol mention, Divorce, Pets, Pet names, Dialogue heavy. Undisclosed age gap (in my mind Michael is late 30s and OC is late 20s, but it's really up to your interpretation).

Word Count: 6.8k // 4 chapters // AO3 link.

A/N: This is set in the year of the Fishes episode on season 2. It starts in summer and slowly builds up to that Christmas.

— This was an anon request that I got a few months ago, I hope you're still around. I tried to fit all the ideas you sent as best I could. There's a bit of info dump on the first chapter, but I hope it isn't too off-putting.

Chapter 1: Best thing since sliced bread

Seconds stretch into minutes, minutes elongate into long hours on slow days like this at The Beef. Especially in summer when the air conditioner stops working for the second time in the middle of August. Any living soul that crosses that door must have a dying wish or be the devil themselves to adventure themselves to what has become Michael's personal hell.

It's been a testing year, and there's so much he can do to fix this place right now. While he waits for Fak to come check the damn AC unit, Michael tends the front while Ebra takes his lunch break.

Turning the paper's pages on the counter, he comes across an article about the extensive fires eating different parts of the country. A wretched thought crosses his mind as he reads – maybe it'd be better to burn this place to the ground and start over. He entertains the idea for a second until the door swings open, inviting more heat into the boiling pot.

He lifts his eyes from the words to find a familiar face approaching the counter. It's not Fak, but a much better vision of someone he used to know.

“Mayhem Maya.”

“Magic Mikey.”

That former thought of burning down this place disappears somewhere in the midst of that beautiful aura that saunters with her big brown eyes, long raven hair, nervous smile, and firm steps.

“It's been a while, Maybird.” Almost ten years since she set foot in this establishment. “What brings you to this hole in the wall?”

“Came to collect that meatball sub you promised at uncle Teddy's funeral, remember?”

“Oh, right.”

Ever since she moved to a different state, he only had seen her a handful of times when she came back for the holidays. Last time he saw her was at the beginning of spring, when her uncle, Ted Silva, passed away.

“I also had an interview at the new vet clinic on the next block.” She places her cross-body bag on an empty stool while she perches her ass on the one next to it.

“How's that going? Did you get tired of California already?”

“No, I love California. But I needed a change of scenery. It's been rough after… you know…” the divorce. She wasn't married for long, but she still can't bring herself to say the word.

“I’ve heard some of it.” He’s pretty much aware of how everything went down. Well, he’s got grapevine’s juicy version of the story, but he never heard her side directly.

Though Michael and Maya know each other as if they were related, they were never close confidants. She always thought he was the coolest guy in Chicago. And he always thought fondly of her, given their families association, and Maya’s close friendship with his brother.

Michael places an order for her sandwich and grabs a soda for her, while she explains she has two more job interviews later.

“Does your mother know you're back?” He folds the paper and props his elbows on the counter.

“She probably does.”

“Still not talking, huh?”

“It's not my fault she made me the black sheep of the family. She’s like vitriol on steroids.”

“Yeah? What happened at the wake? You left before I could say goodbye.”

Michael recalls the tension at the funeral, particularly at the wake when Angela Silva grabbed Maya by the elbow and took her youngest daughter outside the house as if she was still a child that needed to be scolded.

“Nothing. I barely said a word that day. Guess everything I do feels like a personal attack to her. I can admit that I'm not perfect, and that sometimes I've acted up just to get a reaction out of her, but that day she just went off again…” She pauses without finishing that thought to take a refreshing sip of her coke. “And that wasn't nearly as bad as the day I told her I was getting…”

“Divorced? Why can't you say the word? It's not Voldemort.”

“What the hell do you know about Voldemort?”

“How do I… Who took you and Carmy to buy those damn books? Have you forgotten?” Maya shakes her head. “You even tried many times invoking his name, so I was haunted by eaters or something like that. You two were real potterheads.”

“And you were just a pothead,” she laughs, stirring the ice cubes in her drink with a straw. “I totally blocked that out. We were just a couple of nerds.”

“I’d say!”

“Meatball sub!” Richie calls from the pass-through window and takes a second look when catching Maya in the joint. “Maya Papaya?!”

“Please, don’t call me that.” She scoffs while Richie promptly abandons the kitchen and goes around the counter to give her a welcoming hug.

“Did you know she was coming?” He asks Michael, as he props his ass on the bar.

“Had no idea. She just showed up.”

“Did you tell her about Carmy?”

“What about him?”

“He’s in Copenhagen.”

“Oh, I knew about that.”

“You two talk often?”

“Sometimes, I guess.” Barely more likely. They don't even text anymore. She's tried but there's been nothing but crickets at his end for months.

While Richie grills her about Carmy and what she’s been up to, Michael can’t help but look around the shop to notice, from every corner and wall, memories bouncing all at once in his direction. It takes him back in time to those days when she and Carmy were as thick as thieves.

Their shared history goes back to that same street their families have lived on for over thirty years… It’s still clear in his mind, like it was yesterday, when he was forced to babysit them when they wanted to go to the movies or trick-or-treating or the bookstore. That was a little annoying back then, now he fondly remembers all those times in summer, when they’d go to the convenience store to get ice pops on their bikes. Then they’d ride back and sit in the middle of the swanky rug in their living room and watch TV for hours. More than once they were yelled at by Mama Berzatto when she would come home to find melted colorful stains in the fabric. She would lose her shit. Carmy was used to it. Maya wasn’t, but the girl never flinched once cause Donna and her own mother were cut from the same unstable piece of cloth.

Maya and Carmy were really close up until they went separate ways for college. Their bond was something to admire. They had something so special that inevitably, Carmy fell in love with her. She was his best friend and confident. They kept each other's secrets, and Carmy thought she'd feel the same in return. It wasn't a crazy notion. They spent so much time together, everyone thought it'd lead to something more, but that never happened.

Mikey and Richie used to tease the youngest cub relentlessly. They tried multiple times to encourage him to ask her out, but he never found the guts to do it. Especially if it could potentially end their friendship. Carmy didn't want to lose that. Though he never confessed his feelings, Maya always knew. Even in her teens, call it a woman’s intuition, part of her already knew. Maya wished she'd felt the same toward him, but the heart wants what it wants, and she couldn't change that.

What was really fucked up was that she had the most ridiculous crush on the older Berzatto when she was a teen. While she knew he'd never look at her as anything other than Carmy's annoying little friend, that didn't stop her from daydreaming about it for years. It was a secret that no one ever knew and that was placed in a drawer at the back of her mind after she left Chicago.

After graduating, Maya and Carmy stayed in touch for a long time, until their calls and texts became less frequent. They followed different dreams that required a lot of attention and sadly their friendship got hurt in the process.

While she attended Vet School on the west coast, he became a chef on the east.

Maya thrived at school and work. She really went out on her own, and became the woman she always wanted to be. Unsheltered, confident, outspoken. She outgrew her shell and opened herself to new experiences and people. She loved it all. It wasn’t smooth sailing, but for the most part she was pretty happy with her choices.

And now she's back in Chicago, set on a new path and awaiting to see where it takes her.

She’s living in a house in Oak Park with her dog, Coco; Richie fishes out of her. Apparently, she got some money from uncle Teddy, and she’s invested it in a home for her and her beloved staffy.

“Does Carmy know you’re here?” Richie circles back.

“No, I haven't talked to him in months.”

“Why? Did you two have a fall-out or something?”

“There's no why. We're just busy.”

“Mike, help me out here. Weren’t these two fools supposed to get married?”

“Yeah, everyone thought you'd ended up together.”

“Man, I don't know what to tell you, we just didn't,” her head sinks between her shoulders.

“Just get over yourself and hit him up. The kid has been hung up on you since forever. It looks like things didn’t go so well with your marriage and all. You should take that as a sign, you’d never find anyone better than Carmy. The boy could really use some excitement in his life. And so could you.”

“C’mon, leave her alone. Go back to work, Cousin.”

Michael throws her a lifeline, noticing how miserable she looks every time Richie opens his unfiltered mouth.

“He’s not wrong, you know? You and Carmy… it looked like you two had something special.” Michael offers once Richie is back in the kitchen.

“It’s called friendship. You should look it up.” She points out.

“I have Richie.”

“Exactly. You have Richie. Why don't you two marry the other and leave me alone? If you think about it, you were as close to Richie as I was with Carmy. Even more. Should everyone assume you are in love with him? Cause that's what you're implying.”

“Touché. I'll drop it.”

“Look, as hard as it is to believe, there was nothing else between us. I was aware he felt something for me, but I didn’t feel the same.”

“You should give him a chance sometime. He might surprise you.”

It’s not the first time these two have been trying to play matchmaker between Maya and Carmy, and it’s bizarre to see they still do at any given opportunity.

“Okay, if I give Carmy a chance, you have to give Richie a chance. Those are the rules, Berzatto.”

“Oh, I've tried. He's not into me,” he remarks, amused, and leans closer to confess something in a lower voice. “Do you wanna know a secret?”

“Uh, sure.”

“He and Tiffany are having a baby. He just told me a few days ago.”

“What? You let him reproduce? I'll pray for Tiff.”

Chapter 2: Cool as a cucumber

Everything falls slowly into place as Maya settles back in Chicago. She secures the job at the clinic near The Beef, which is a huge relief after her rushed decision of moving back to her hometown without securing a job first. It was part of the plan all along to practice what she loves but never thought this would be the year. As much as she loved California, once her divorce was finalized she felt like something was trapping her there. And the money she got from her uncle gave her some leeway to improvise, get away from all that, and start over.

Maya is spending her morning going through the stack of unpacked boxes, finding a good place for everything, making it feel more homey. It's not a big house, but spacious enough for the two of them. The big selling point was the backyard for Coco to zoom around and cool down in her wading pool, which she loves. It didn't take long for the five-year-old pup to get used to her new neighborhood. They've even made a couple of friends at the park nearby.

A moment before the doorbell rings, Coco whines from her spot by the window, where she often sits to watch passers in the street.

“Who is it?” Maya playfully asks her dog as she makes her way to the front door.

Through the peephole, she sees Michael's profile as he inspects the porch.

“Hi,” her eyes widen as she opens the door. “Didn't know you were coming.”

“Yeah, I would've called, but I didn't get your number the other day.” But he got her address from Richie's intense questioning when she visited the shop.

“I knocked on two different houses until I got the right one,” he explains as Coco curiously circles around his feet, sniffing his pants, hitting his crotch with her nose in the process.

“No, Coco. Sit. How many times have we talked about no nut-tapping?” Maya glances at her with amusement as the dog sits on her haunches.

“It’s fine,” he snorts. “All dogs do that.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. But she’s not any other dog. I thought I had taught her better. So what brings you here?”

“This.” He offers the paper bag hanging in his hand. “It's just a little house-warming gift.”

“You didn't have to.” As she takes the bag from his hand she ushers him inside before closing the door.

“It's nothing, really.”

He glances around as Maya takes out the box from the bag.

“Wow, a set of knives? That's not nothing.”

“Everyone needs one good set of knives. But you can exchange them for something else if you want.”

“No. I like these. But I gotta warn you that I'm not much of a cook, and I'll probably use the same one for everything.”

“That's fine I can show you sometime though. Is she friendly? ” He points at the dog that keeps staring at him. “Can I pet her?”

“Yeah, she loves everyone. Go ahead.”

Michael cautiously pets the brown coat of her head as her floppy ears lower at the passing of his hand.

“Never pictured you with a pit bull.”

“Me neither. I always thought I'd be a cat lady. But I met her at this adoption drive when she was one, and she stole my heart.”

“I can see why.” Michael crouches down, and pets Coco with both hands. “She's really sweet.”

He lets her lick his chin a couple of times before standing back on his feet. Then they go on a tour around the house.

“It's still a work in progress. I'm thinking of painting a few walls, but we like it so far.”

“Yeah, it has good bones.”

“So you don't have to work today?” Asks Maya.

“No, we've had some trouble with the gas line, and we've been shut down for a couple of days.”

“That sucks. Now where am I going to get my sandwiches and coffee on my way to work?”

“Heard Starbucks is pretty good.”

“Shut up. Don't even joke about that.” She playfully shoves his shoulder as they go back to the living room.

“Are you doing something later?”

She shakes her head. “Why?”

“I don't know, thought you were having a comeback party or something.”

“I don't really have any friends here. And I don't feel like inviting my family yet. As you can see, I still have a lot to unpack.”

“Physically or mentally speaking?”

“Both,” she scoffs.

“Let's do something then? Just you and me. We could grab some pizza, or go out for a drink for old times’ sake?”

“Old times’ sake?” It's amusing, surprising and confusing his sudden interest in her. Maybe he can see how pathetic she thinks she is, and he's taking pity on her. Although, that was never Michael style.

“Yeah, c'mon, Mayhem. You look like you could use some fun.” He picks up a book that's sitting on top from the box opened by the couch that's titled — Dating Again with Courage and Confidence: The Five-Step Plan to Revitalize Your Love Life after Heartbreak, Breakup, or Divorce. “And maybe a rebound or something. You don't need a fucking help book. You only need me to show where to get the best guys, or girls. Whatever you're into.”

“Give me that. I don't need a rebound, a help book, or you for all matter finding me a date.”

“No? Then why do you have that?”

“My friend Paige thought I should give it a try.”

“Maybe she was onto something there.”

“I'm perfectly fine. Just want to finish organizing everything, focus on work and this handful I have right here.” Her hand gestures at Coco. “What are you so interested in my love life anyway? First you try to play matchmaker with Carmy, and now you want me to do what, exactly? Hook up with the first guy I see?”

“No, I'm just asking you to go out and have some fun. I know Carmy was the only friend you had here. And if I was in your shoes, I'd feel pretty lonely.”

“I'm not lonely, Michael. Do I miss my friends in Sacramento? Sure,” she admits. “But I don't wanna force anything. I'm just taking it slow. When the time comes I'll jump right in but for now, this is all I need. Really. Stop pitying me.”

“I'm not pitying you, sweetheart.”

“No? Then what is it? Where is this coming from?”

“I don't know… I've always thought you were the salt of the earth. And though we never really hung out together, I thought you could use… But I can see now that you're different, and that you know what you need right now, so I'll just shut up and back off. Let you do your thing.”

“Thank you. I do know what I'm doing, by the way. You don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine. But I appreciate you coming here anyway.”

“Yeah, of course. And I can help you unpack if you need.”

“Hm, if you don't have anything better to do, be my guest. We could grab a pizza later, if the offer still stands. Or just order some food.”

“Sure.”

Michael helps Maya unpack all the boxes and put everything in place in half the time it'd have taken her alone. They order some food for lunch and spend half the day talking and laughing until late in the afternoon when they decide to go out for some drinks to keep the good vibes going.

At the end of the night, she offers to drive Michael back to his apartment as a thank you for inviting her.

“Did you have fun?” Michael asks from the passenger seat as she pulls up in front of his building.

“Yeah, I did. I'm glad I changed my mind.”

“Me too. I didn't know you were this fun. You're nothing like I remember.”

“Yeah, I was kind of weird growing up. You guys probably thought there was something wrong with me. ”

“Nah, don't be so hard on yourself. We were all weird in our own way.”

“Uh-uh. No Michael Berzatto. You were the coolest guy back in the day, and you still are.”

“I don’t know about that,” he scoffs. “For the record… I never thought there was anything wrong with you.”

“You were probably the only one… Anyway, thank you for today. I know I said I didn't need this, but I guess I did.”

“You're welcome, Maybird. I'm glad you’re back.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Thanks for bringing me home,” he softly squeezes her arm before reaching for the handle to open the door.

“No problem.”

“You know you can call me if you ever miss your friends, y’know?” he throws casually.

“I uh…sure. I will.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” she echoes back as he pulls the handle and the door opens.

“Have a good night, Michael,” she says as he gets one foot on the pavement.

“You, too, sweetheart.”

He closes the door and vaguely waves as she sets the car in motion and watches her drive away.

Chapter 3: Don't cry over spilled milk

In the few weeks he's been spending time with Maya, Michael has found himself enjoying her company more than he'd like to admit. Being with her grounds him. She makes him forget for a little while all that's wrong in his life. She's like a beacon in that immerse darkness that his sorry existence has become. Despite having her own set of problems, he's watched her rise above all that with poise. He wonders what it's her secret to her steadfast determination, even when her own family has disavowed her.

After closing shop, he dives into his stash to tame that brewing headache before driving to Oak Park to pay her a visit. She told him earlier via text that she was at Home Depot buying some paint to update the color of her bedroom and asked him to come over to hang out after work.

For some reason, he couldn't say no. Not even the storm in his head is strong enough to deny her request. He has a pull on him, tugging him hard like a dog tied to a leash in her hand, he can’t help but follow her lead.

When he arrives at her house, she's halfway done. Two of the walls shine bright new in a lavender tone as she starts working on the next one.

After having beer and playing a tug of war game with his new friend, Coco, Michael offers his help to finish painting the walls. He uses a brush to paint the corners, while she gracefully uses a roller like a pro with her denim overalls over a tank top, and her raven hair pulled up in a ponytail sprinkled with lavender paint beads. When she lifts one of her arms, he catches a glimpse of a tattoo on the side of her rib cage, leveled to the roundness of her chest that looks like the outline of a dog paw.

“What are you looking at?” She asks after catching him staring.

“You have paint on your chin.”

“Oh.” She wipes it with the back of her hand, but she just spreads the stain along her jaw. “I made it worse, didn't I?”

“Yeah.”

She shrugs it off and continues with the task ahead until the whole wall is covered.

“Is everything okay, Bear?” Maya puts down the paint roller. “You're quieter than usual.”

“Yeah, everything's alright.” It sounds so honest, he almost believes it. “It's just been a long day.”

“I'm sorry that I put you to work.”

“Don't be. This is relaxing.”

“Yeah?” She takes a step back and surveys how much brighter her bedroom looks already after covering most of the former downcast grey. “Is the color right? Do you think it's too girlish?”

Giving the room a once over he says, “it's a good shade. I dig it. It doesn't matter what I think or if it's too girlish, as long as you like it. Do you like it?”

“Yeah. I do.”

She dips the roller on the tray to cover another section of the wall.

“You never told me what happened at the funeral with your mom,” Michael leans on the stepladder, taking a short break.

“Do you really wanna know?” She glances over her shoulder.

“Yeah. Everyone does. I’ve heard some crazy stories about it. Thought I should get it straight from the source.”

“I never pegged you for a gossip girl.”

“I’m not. I’m just making conversation.”

She mockingly narrows her eyes, drawing a lopsided smirk, “liar.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t wanna. But yeah, can’t help being a little curious about it.”

“I don’t mind telling you, but it won’t be as entertaining as those crazy stories people have made up.”

“I’m not here for entertainment. I just wanna hear your side of the story, Maybird.”

Maya lets out a heavy sigh and while keeping her focus on the wall she shares with him what really happened. She’s right to say that is not the best story she’s ever told, though when it comes to her mother, all her stories tend to have a surreal element even she can’t fathom sometimes.

That day at the funeral, she was taken outside during the wake by Angela Silva to get scolded about her imminent divorce. It wasn’t finalized by then, and her mom invoked one last Hail Mary to convince her to stay with her husband, who was also currently dating someone else. It was a messy situation that Maya couldn't wait to get out of, and the fact that her mother never offered an ounce of support wasn’t surprising, but still devastating. Somehow, Angela found that the reason for her separation from her husband was that Maya didn’t want to have kids, and that really vexed Angela. All she wanted for her three kids was to follow the same traditional path Angela was forced into, no matter how miserable she was. Her two older sisters followed her mother’s narrowed traditional values. But Maya, ever-the-nonconformist, swore she would never follow anyone’s drum beat but her own. Her husband thought she’d change her mind eventually. He was wrong. She knew that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon, which led her here, to this moment.

“Is your mom ever happy?” Michael has always wondered.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen her happy, except when she’s drunk. That’s why she has to make everyone else miserable.”

“Yeah, but she’s always had a fixation on making you miserable.”

“Like I said, every family needs a black sheep, and I’m it.”

“Is that why you became a vet?”

“Yeah, probably.”

“So, it's true, you don’t wanna have kids? I’m not judging. I’m just curious.”

“I honestly don't know. I just knew that when he told me he wanted to have a baby right away, it didn’t feel right. I said that maybe in six or seven years I’d be okay with it. Told him I wanted to travel and just be us for a while, and he said that was too long to wait. I don’t know… he stopped talking to me, and it was clear that he wasn’t changing his mind, and I wasn’t changing my mind, so. At some point I got tired of trying… He got a girlfriend as soon as I filed for divorce and I got a text from Paige the other day that said he got her already pregnant, like… that was never me. I guess it served me right… I married him on a whim, an impulse without really talking about what we wanted…”

“Hey, don’t feel sorry for yourself. You dodged a bullet there.”

“You really think that?.”

“Yeah, I do. You stood up for yourself and knew when to step back when it didn’t feel right. Not everyone has the balls to do that. Think how miserable you’d be by now if you had tried to please him or your mom. You seem happy now. That's what matters.” He means that with all his heart, and wishes he had the same drive to follow those same steps. As much as he loved the restaurant, he chose to run it to please people within his family. And that love turned into a nightmare he couldn't escape.

“You know… I liked you better when you were quiet,” she quips.

Michael huffs a soft laugh, picking up his brush to resume painting.

When the room is finished, she plugs a couple of fans and closes the door to keep Coco away.

Maya washes her hands and face in the bathroom sink. When she comes out, she catches the motion of Michael's arm as he shoves what looks like a pill into his mouth before taking a gulp of water from one of her glasses.

“What was that? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. It's just a headache,” looking down, he runs a palm over his short growing beard.

“Is it the fumes?”

“No, I had it before coming here.”

“Michael,” she sighs softly at his name. “You should've told me. I wouldn't have let you help if I knew.”

“Would you stop that? I wanted to help.”

“Okay, c'mere. Let's sit down.”

“No, I think I should get going.”

“Nonsense. I'm not going to let you drive until you feel better.”

He yields with a long exhale, and follows Maya into the living room, where her bed is settled askew in the middle of the space.

She takes a seat on the edge of the mattress and waits for him to sit next to her.

“Give me your hand,” she shows her palm up, as his eyes narrow. “C'mon, don't be a baby, give me your hand, Berzatto.”

“When did you become so bossy?” He slowly lifts his hand and as he lays it on top of her palm, his fingers tremble upon contact with her skin. Maya then uses her opposite hand to clip the webbing between his thumb and pointer fingers with her own and begins massaging that spot.

“My friend Sierra is really into acupressure. She says this is a pressure point that helps with headaches.” She explains while slowly increasing the force. “Does it hurt?”

“Not one bit. Is that like acupuncture?” His voice comes as a whisper as he focuses on her diligent fingers.

“Kinda. I think. I’m not really sure.”

“You don't have to fix me, you know?”

“I'm not trying to fix you, Bear. I just wanna make you feel better.”

“Admit it. You just love a good wounded animal.”

She smiles softly, placing his hand down on his knee and picking up the other. “Does it feel any different?”

He’s not really sure, it wasn’t truly a headache that led them to take that pill but the annoying rambling of his thoughts. She shouldn’t have seen that. And he shouldn’t have lied. But having her hands on his like this is straight up lovely. Inside of him, it truly feels like something is broken, wounded, and missing, and this is giving him a sliver of relief as he waits for the pill to kick in. If he was a better man, he’d tell her the truth. But he’s too far gone for saving. All he can do is keep that facade up.

“Does it?” She insists after not getting an answer.

“A little.”

“Do you wanna lay down?”

Swallowing, he responds with a nod, and they both lean back on the mattress at the same time. Looking at the ceiling, she keeps kneading that pressure point, unsure if she’s even doing it right.

They stay in comfortable silence for a good five minutes and when she finally places his hand down, Maya glances to the side and sees that his eyes have closed, and his chest gently rising and falling. She calls his name softly, but she can see that behind the sharp edges of his face and the ever-growing shade of his beard, he’s truly exhausted, so she doesn’t insist. She extends her hand to turn off the lamp, and curls on the other side of the bed without disturbing his sleep.

“Good night,” she says softly and closes her eyes.

From a dusty corner of her mind comes crawling that little forgotten part that used to harbor a lot of feelings for Michael. Though a few weeks ago he seemed practically the same Michael she knew, over the past month she’s keenly noticed little changes here and there. His eyes sometimes cast a dark shade tainted in nothing but sadness, it’s barely noticeable for other people. It comes and goes, but it tells her he’s not truly as happy as he pretends to be.

Michael wakes up disoriented at the crack of dawn.

It takes him a few seconds to remember he’s still in Mayas’ bed in the middle of her living room and that the weight that has his arm pinned is her body pressed against his. She’s warmly snuggled on his side, with her arms tucked between his chest and hers, and a peaceful expression on her beautiful face. She’s so awfully close, he can smell the scent of her hair, and feel the heat of her breath every time she exhales.

It's such an odd moment for him to have her that close. He's unsure of whether it would be better to slip out of bed unnoticed before she wakes up, or just stay there and watch her sleep for a bit longer. Either option would make him look like a creep, he thinks. So he opts to gently wake her up. His free hand reaches to his forehead to move a stand of hair away. Her brow scrunches as his light-feather touch grazes her skin. His lips curve up as he traces the shell of her ear to see her stir awake. She blinks slowly a couple of times until her focus shifts onto him.

“Hey, Maybird.”

“Hey.” Her lips move, it's barely audible.

“Sorry, I fell asleep.” His fingers absentmindedly massage her earlobe.

She's so stunned by waking up to that level of intimacy, she simply nods, as her mouth softly draws a smile.

“It's fine. Does your head feel better?”

“Much better. That pressure thing really worked.”

“I'm glad.”

“Listen, I gotta go open. Maybe we could do something later?”

“Okay,” she swallows nervously, hoping that waking up with him like this isn't just a dream. “Can you do me a favor first?”

“Sure.”

“Can you stay five more minutes?”

“I uh… I think I can,” against his better judgment, he decides he can stay for a few minutes more holding her.

The way her lips pull up timidly at the corners, revealing the dimples framing her mouth, completely disarms him. He’s always felt a certain affinity towards her, but being this close to her awakes a longing within that feels dangerous. He can’t bring someone new into his life. Not while everything around him is falling apart. It’s already hard enough having to pretend around other people.

He couldn’t do that to her. He won’t.

Michael will have to fight harder because when her arm tucks around his waist he can’t help but press his lips against her forehead.

Chapter 4: Hard nut to crack

Four months later…

After that initial moment of weakness when he fell asleep on her bed, he fought hard to elude that odd longing that has only grown into a big mass of love toward Maya. To anyone else in the world, a feeling as big as that would be a blessing, especially when it's reciprocated. To Michael, it's a weakness he can't afford right now.

Spending all that time with Maya has been like discovering a whole new planet Michael never thought existed. She's all vast, uncharted territory that fazes him more than it should. Despite his best efforts, he’s fallen into her alluring orbit and can’t find the way out into his own universe.

Far gone is that moody teenager that would mumble a few words here and there. And now there's this tragically stunning woman that looks you directly in the eye, says anything that crosses her mind, and laughs without a care in the world.

Though falling in love with her wouldn’t be completely wrong, it's not quite right either. It fills him with guilt to think about her in that manner. Moreover, it feels like a betrayal to Carmy, who’s far away in a different continent, prospering in his craft.

Michael tries to fool himself into believing that this is just temporary infatuation. He’s even attempted several times to convince her to get in touch with Carmy but hasn’t succeeded. It’d be easier for him if she were to put her focus on someone else instead of him. He has nothing to offer to her and has deemed himself unworthy of her, or anyone for that matter. If she only knew what’s really going on with him, she wouldn’t want Michael nearly as she believes she does.

Layer by layer, she’s tearing all his walls and defenses down. And after all the back and forth, he's absolutely sure she wants more than he can offer her. She’s been giving him the right signals. She doesn't shy away from it. Maya is direct and impulsive, and everything about her is fascinating and intimidating.

It’s time to either cut her loose, or accept that he’s madly in love with her and do something about it.

Amidst coming to terms with a final decision, he's lured into a surprise party she's organized for his birthday.

Michael is left speechless by her determination. And a little annoyed too for reasons he can't explain. To be honest, he’s never been a fan of surprise parties, but the main problem is that this would make things much harder for him to let her down easily. She’s carved herself into his life and the longer he drags this out, the worse this is going to hurt.

He’s aware that it’s selfish and obtuse of him for being that ungrateful that someone who cares that profoundly about him, that they would go all out to prove that. He feels like an asshole, but the train has already left the station.

Using the same tiring self-defense mechanism, he draws his best smile and brings out the Michael everyone seems to love. Not without help. There's always that crutch tucked in his wallet in the form of a pill. Being high numbs him enough to deal with the situation.

The cherry on top comes at the end of the night, when he walks her up to her car and asks if he's had a good time. He lies through his teeth and for the first time, he can tell Maya is not buying it. Perhaps she never did, but he's well-versed on her tells by now, and he can clearly see she's fed up with all the bullshit that comes out of his mouth.

“Look, it's not that I didn't like the party. It's just that I hate surprises, and I was exhausted today. But it was a nice thought, sweetheart. I just… I wasn't in the right mood.” It's seemingly convincing the second time around, but her face shows nothing but regret. “I love the jacket you bought me, though.”

Michael has never been interested in fashion, but he's always loved vintage jackets, and the one she picked it's a perfect addition to his collection. It's a bomber jacket, aviator style, in brown leather with a couple of patches and fur collar.

As they reach Maya's car, they come to a stop. She turns to him, “I know I can be a little too much sometimes. But I promise no more surprises from now on.”

“You and I both know, you won’t be able to keep that promise even if your life depended on it. That's part of what makes you– you, sweetheart. Don’t let my bad mood ruin that.”

“I’ll try.”

After a beat, without hesitation she leans in to leave a goodnight kiss on his bearded cheek and on a whim, she decides to press a second one on his lips.

It takes him completely aback. He wants to dive so badly into her mouth, but he freezes on the spot. And when Maya attempts to deepen the kiss, he finally reacts by placing a placating hand on her shoulder as he pulls his head back.

“I'm… I'm sorry we can't do this, Maya.”

“Wait, I thought… Did I misread something?”

“No, you didn’t misread anything. I just can’t do this.”

“Why?”

“I can't.”

“You can't or don’t want to?”

“Guess I don’t want to.”

“Can you at least tell me why? Did I do something wrong?”

“You did nothing wrong, sweetheart.” He wants to spill out the old – it's not you, it's me – excuse, but he refrains. Every thought and action go against every good instinct he's ever had. He hates himself for making her feel insecure. And yet, he can't backtrack now.

“Stop calling me sweetheart. You see how misleading that is?”

“Sorry. I think I gave you the wrong impression.”

Her eyes narrow, and he can see the gears turning for a long moment before opening her mouth.

“I don't think you gave me the wrong impression, Michael. I think you're too chickenshit to admit that there's something between us and, for whatever reason, you're just taking the coward's way out. You've been weird the whole night, especially with me. I just threw a party just for you, the least you can do is tell me why.”

“I didn't ask you to do that. And I don't owe telling you shit! I was trying to let you go easy, but nothing is ever easy with you. So I'll just say it. This, you and me, is never going to happen.”

It sounds ridiculous as it comes out of his mouth, but he stands firm on that statement as her heart breaks in front of him.

In the end, it'd be better for her, he believes.

#michael berzatto x ofc #michael berzatto #the bear #the bear fanfiction #jon bernthal fanfiction #jon bernthal #original character #michael berzatto x reader #angst #fluff #darlingwrites #sorry i used the reader tag #it's the only way to get my fic seen #salt of the earth

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gloomy-prince · 2 months

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To celebrate RAINBOW!'s release today, I'm going to go over all the daydream references that have been made so far, since it's fun for me to sneak them in 💖 there's a lot of them though, so it's gonna be under the cut!

Episode 1-- Kiki's Delivery Service and E.T.! People focus on the Kiki reference so much that the other seemed to be missed.

Episode 2-- Princess Serenity and Prince Endymion, Sailor Moon. Another one obvious enough to be called out in some comments. It was referenced again in episode 54, where this panel was taken from.

Episode 5-- Marceline, Adventure time. One of the few reference that isn't an outfit specifically, but a character.

Episode 11-- Revolutionary Girl Utena. Not necessarily supposed to be the characters themselves, just the outfits.

Episode 11-- Minako Aino, Sailor Moon. In hindsight, I don't remember why I chose this specific dress to reference and not the maid outfits from Sailor Stars or the fruits maid outfits from the manga... especially since I think the fruits maid outfits are adorable.

Episode 11-- Catra, She-Ra reboot. I kind of regretted this one immediately just because like 80% of the comments on the episode were "CATRA SUIT!!!" as a result...

Episode 18-- Sailor Moon manga. I was always intrigued by the way characters would be dressed in dreamlike/ethereal sequences in the manga, so this reference was a must for me. I went with the version that is a full dress with straps rather than the dresses from other moments in the manga that have no discernible top half.

Episode 30 and 31-- Not a reference to any specific film or character, but just film noir in general. I do remember referencing a female character specifically for this but sadly I couldn't find it again.

Episode 40-- Pomeranian scene, IT Chapter Two. Surely you saw this coming (or maybe not?) I don't think I got the camera angle good enough to really sell this reference, but I couldn't resist it anyways.

Episode 43-- Adult Losers, IT Chapter Two. The only reference besides Marceline that references the characters themselves, since I normally use our other characters for background character purposes. Also one of the only references that isn't a daydream.

Episode 54-- Disney's Snow White and Cinderella. I couldn't decide which to reference, so I ended up leaning mostly into Cinderella, but referenced the Evil Queen's crown as well. Boo's dress is also somewhat referenced from the the live action Cinderella dress instead of the animated version, just because I liked it.

Episode 54-- Treasure Planet and Treasure Planet 2 concept art. Treasure planet is one of my favorite movies, so there was no way I was missing out on referencing it. A few people brought up some wlw pirate webcomic(s?) in the comments of this episode, but the actual reference seemed to be mostly missed. The sash around Boo's waist is also meant to be fabric from her princess dress in the previous panels.

Episode 54-- Revolutionary Girl Utena. Another one I was kind of surprised wasn't called out just because of how iconic the whole clothed shadow/silhouette thing is.

Episode 55-- Saint Tail. I couldn't reference this one as closely as I would have liked since it probably wouldn't have been very readable as a magician's costume to someone who didn't know it, so it mostly references the brooch from the anime and her hat.

Episode 61-- Jane Fonda in Spirits of the Dead. A super random and out there reference, especially to end on, but I liked the outfit so much that I couldn't help it. Maybe Boo used to fall asleep to old movie channels, lol.

That's it, at least for now! We'll have to see what shows up in future episodes~

#rainbow!#rainbow #webcoic #lgbt webcomic #queer webcomic #webtoon #tapas comic

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whyissupernaturaltrending · 2 years

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September 5-6, 2022 - it's been two years and yet here we are, Supernatural never disappoints.

Recently, @spnscripthunt shared some new scripts, including a production draft for Supernatural 13x20 Unfinished Business [x]. As with any script, there are parts that didn't make it to the actual episode or were changed. One part however gained some attention, specifically the very last dialogue between Dean and Sam (script on the left [x] and transcript from the episode on the right for comparison [x]). The part that wasn't in the episode was Dean's line "I lost Cass and it damn near broke me..."

A Twitter post about this was retweeted by Natalie Fisher [x] who referenced a panel at Jibcon 2018 where this specific scene was mentioned [most likely this panel: x, starts at 30:05], and made a few comments:

The above tweets sparked another discussion about Castiel being cut from various scenes. Many fans are disappointed and compare it to the finale and other instances where whole scenes and even mentions of Cas weren't making it to the final cuts, some bringing back the theory that Misha was in the finale and didn't actually know Cas' scenes had been cut out until he watched the episode when it aired. Other fans discuss how it's not at all surprising that the script differs and that and that there isn't anything else going on here other than a regular production process. In any way, Supernatural proves once more that there is no escape.

#if i'm missing something or got something wrong please let me know #anyways. enjoy the drama <3 #why is supernatural trending #spn #supernatural #spn scripts #castiel

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stone-stars · 1 month

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so… i made a list of the first use of every song* in campaign 1 of naddpod, with timestamps. if you're wondering, it's 190 unique songs! * disclaimer: this list doesn't include royalty free songs, only emily's, and it's entirely possible i missed one or two.

i've put the list under the cut, separated by episode! timestamps include ads for eps 1-48, and are from the ad free version for eps 49-100.

(disclaimer that i determined the names of songs by cross-referencing what they were credited as across episodes, so some may be inaccurate. i noted those down in the list)

13 - City in the Clouds, 18:04 13 - Beverly's House, 38:15 13 - The Widow, 53:56

14 - Court of the Boy King, 18:57 14 - The Twinkling Lights of Galaderon, 1:24:27

15 - A Bastard No More, 24:29 * 15 - The Ruins of Cragwater, 2:04:02 * (note: "A Bastard No More" is called "Hardwon Takes the Wheel" after c1e70)

16 - Duergar Drudgery, 4:26 16 - Spooky Shafts, 6:23 16 - Heed the Mushroom's Call, 21:10 16 - Schubert's Song, 25:47 16 - Jolene the Green, 31:30 16 - Farewell to Fungen, 34:39 16 - The Mithril Miner's Shuffle, 38:57 16 - The Mithril's Run Dry, 52:46

17 - The Depths of the Dungeon, 1:11:14 17 - Conspiracy in the Clouds, 1:14:23

18 - The Revenant's Fate, 24:35 18 - A Fate Refused, 25:59 18 - Escape the Boy King's Brunch, 1:31:31

19 - The Purge, 12:13 19 - The Valiant Ol' Cobb, 51:37 19 - At the Last Minute, a First, 1:29:29 19 - Skybound, 1:32:28

20 - The Blows of a Friend, And Not a Foe, 1:03:09 20 - Forsaken, 1:07:20 20 - Apotheosis, 1:08:23 20 - A Haven Away From Home, 1:12:17

21 - Betrayal Below, 19:10 21 - The Gunslinger's Girl, 39:10 21 - A Sign from Melora, 1:04:57 21 - Friend Turned Foe, 1:06:02 21 - Sumpin's a Mess Out West, 1:39:31

22 - Slumber in the Stump, 45:03 22 - The Sultan of Stone, 1:41:25 22 - Block Hop, 1:42:37

23 - The Mountain Meets the Sky, 42:33 23 - Trust the Gust, 1:01:00 23 - The Titan of Air, 1:12:09

24 - Sumpin's Asunder Down Under, 37:53 24 - Baptised, 43:39 24 - Steed of the Sea, 51:12 24 - Cetacean Farewell, 1:13:37 24 - Into the Flame, 1:16:25

25 - The Golden Sword, 55:14 25 - Cured by the Light, 1:00:21 25 - Hospitably Hostile, 1:05:28 25 - Mee Maw's Burden, 1:21:18

26 - The Grand Maw Tree, 9:51 26 - Into the Fog, 55:16 26 - A Hospitable Farewell, 1:01:11 26 - Befuddled and Befogged, 1:05:19 26 - Hazy Daze, 1:09:59

27 - Snake Skirmish, 4:38 27 - Greener Shades, 1:10:49 27 - Moonshine's Stump, 1:14:50 27 - Unknown Tome, 1:27:06

28 - Balnor's Bad Dream, 28:01 28 - Blessings of the Elementals, 1:14:35 * 28 - Elemental Energy, 1:17:39 * * (note: the two songs credited here are actually "Elemental Energy" and "Calling in a Favor", so the second song may be either name)

29 - The Prodigal Sister, 58:37 29 - A Rare Appearance, 1:01:26 29 - Oh, Melora!, 1:02:53 29 - A Tale's End, 1:08:30

31 - A Giant Among Men, 17:47 31 - Back Against the Wall, 28:04

32 - Behold! Treasure, 10:31 32 - Akarot's Letter, 23:50 32 - Shock at the Dock, 37:25 32 - Invisible But Not Invincible, 43:48 32 - Escape from Smuggler's Bounty, 48:56

33 - Tonathan Tinkle, 6:51 33 - Uku's Gift, 1:20:31

34 - Frostwind, 37:04 34 - A Humble Shopkeeper, 47:08 34 - Vinril's Gems, 1:05:26

35 - Balnor the Brave, 1:08:16

37 - Descending, 20:58 37 - A Tempting Offer, 41:40 37 - Desecrated, 51:28

39 - Incriminated, 33:37

41 - Tower of the Winter Wolves, 20:35 41 - Tundra Trudge, 1:26:39 41 - Valley of the Frigid Death, 1:20:03 * * (note: this song is used in ep 38 at 53:45, but not credited)

42 - Prey Don't Stand a Prayer, 42:37 * 42 - Yanoba, 1:10:39 * (note: this song is also used in ep 38 at 1:07:13, but not credited)

45 - The Eye of Akarot, 14:33 45 - Bash at the Gash, 34:43 45 - The Bronzebeard Legacy, 45:15 45 - Kingshammer, 1:45:59 45 - A Sight For Sore Eyes, 1:49:15

46 - Fantastic & Fuddling, 40:32 * 46 - A Soft Landing, 57:53 * 46 - A Humble Farmer, 1:07:22 * 46 - The Court of the Bear Prince, 1:18:46 46 - Wooded Wonders, 1:45:23 * * (note: the four starred songs names are inconsistently used. I tried to go with the names they're most often known by across this arc and other campaigns but it changes. The big thing here is that the song at 1:07:22 is not called “A Humble Farmer” again, but when it’s used later in c1 it’s credited as “Wooded Wonders”, and then in c2/3 it’s “Fantastic & Fuddling”. However, both of those names are more consistently used for the songs I have them labeled as now. The song at 40:32 is called “Fantastic & Fuddling” throughout the Feywild arc, and the song at 1:45:23 is called “Wooded Wonders” in every campaign except HBS, where it’s “A Humble Farmer” Basically— “Fantastic & Fuddling” means the song at 40:32 and “Wooded Wonders” usually means the song at 1:45:23, but this isn’t always the case, and the song at 1:07:22 may be called either.)

47 - Puzzled, 8:40 47 - Mysterious Yet Familiar, 1:08:07 47 - Queen Cirilla, 1:14:02 47 - Frozen in Time, 1:16:35

49 - Gnome Man's Land, 1:03:54

50 - Rolling Deep, 13:10 50 - Neath a Ceiling of Stars, 30:36 50 - Sea Beast, 53:38 50 - Great Crone of the Sea, 1:11:05

51 - Alanis, 3:34 51 - The Nannerfly Effect, 14:35 * 51 - When You Wish Upon A Stone, 20:26 51 - Only the Ocean to Console Him, 45:27 * (note: throughout the Feywild, this song is called “The Nannerfly Effect”, and then later goes on to be credited as various versions of "wish stones")

54 - The Autumn Court, 3:35

55 - The Witch's Den, 58:57

56 - An Innocent Flirtation, 48:02 56 - Goblin Dirigible, 1:04:27 56 - Crash Landing, 1:15:21

57 - Tower in the Distance, 13:18 57 - Angels and Devils, 16:58 57 - King Lestibourne, 1:02:39 57 - All I Need is One Thread to Spin a Web, 1:09:20 57 - Kiss of Life, 1:45:12

58 - Flying Through the Night, 25:18 58 - Bittersweet Sixteen, 59:34 58 - A Hard Goodbye, 1:26:52

59 - Shadowfell, 2:49 59 - Into the Mist, 5:34 59 - Grimhawk, 53:33 59 - Langston, 1:05:56

60 - Deadeye, 6:30 60 - The Fat Monk, 25:13

61 - The Red Fen, 20:54 61 - The Montgomerys, 40:11 61 - Growing Pains, 1:16:21 * 61 - Gutless, 1:29:37 * (note: “Growing Pains” is credited as “Drained” here, but the name changes later and is used consistently)

63 - Montgomery Manor, 1:14:22 63 - Shadowfell Sneak, 1:17:34 63 - Two for Tea, 1:21:08

66 - Unholy Pilgrimage, 22:22

67 - Bastard's Fate, 1:22:05 67 - Bastard's Cove, 1:30:06

70 - Lucanus Aer'Tea, 1:27:08 70 - A Miracle Child, 1:44:43 70 - The Thinking Cap, 1:49:53

71 - The Whisperwood, 27:30 71 - Gladeholm, 29:41 71 - The University, 56:36 71 - Qwiksus, 1:10:04 71 - A Wizard Tournament, 1:30:24 71 - Star Spawn, 2:10:23

73 - Summoning, 11:28 73 - Secret Basement, 32:21 73 - The Objective, 1:31:50 73 - Pandemonium, 1:34:22 73 - Lilith La Trix, 1:37:55

75 - Kingsguard, 22:17 75 - Speaking Stump, 27:19 75 - Irondeep, 1:18:40 - (note: these three songs are only used in this ep in c1)

76 - The Mindflayer's Lair, 59:48 76 - The Multiverse, 1:13:57 76 - Alone, 1:19:50 76 - The Vast Expanse, 1:22:21 76 - Into the Planar Pool, 1:27:28

77 - Deal with a Devil, 21:42 * 77 - Buzzer's Cutters, 25:28 77 - The Posse, 1:07:48 77 - The Bronze Bastard, 1:35:51 * (note: this song is also frequently called “Soul Coins”)

79 - Lust, 14:52 79 - The River Styx, 24:46 79 - Fierna, 32:36 79 - A Risky Gamble, 51:42 79 - The Honey Trap, 55:40

82 - The Seventh Circle of Hell, 14:58 82 - Demigod, 28:55

83 - Ilsed's Secret, 42:05

84 - Hellfire Crown, 1:26:11 86 - Torn Apart, 46:42 * * (note: technically "Torn Apart" is a part of “Hellfire Crown” and plays in ep 84 at 1:17:32, but the two have different instrumentation and “Torn Apart” is credited as such later, so I've split them)

91 - I Just Want to Know You're Taken Care Of, 21:37 91 - The Pact, 47:25 91 - Forest, 1:07:14

92 - Enlightened, 15:26 * * (note: this song isn't credited in this ep, its first credit as "Enlightened" is in ep96 at 36:47)

95 - Hole in the Sky, 1:01:12 95 - Pure Gold, 1:34:39

96 - The Glittering Lady, 15:51

97 - Fabric of Fate, 9:44 * 97 - Selfless, 12:48 97 - A Glittering Reunion, 22:18 * (note: this song is later called "Melora's Boon" in c3)

100 (pt. 1) - The Writing on the Wall, 28:55 100 (pt. 1) - Paradise, 46:04 100 (pt. 1) - A Memory, 1:03:17 100 (pt. 2) - One Big Bed, 1:46:57

#naddpod #bahumia #naddmusic tag #don’t ask why i did this #this is the more normal version of this list #i have one of every single song use including repeats #yes i’ll share it someday but i want to finish the other campaigns first #edit: updated jacked to be the posse. idk why i thought they were different they're the same song lol

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omegalomania · 1 year

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some kind soul uploaded the full q&a that fall out boy did the other night! here is a highlights reel of things that grabbed me while i was watching for those who don't have time to watch:

they have a rapport with the interviewer and have hung out with him a bunch. patrick says they spent like 30 minutes making fun of couches last they hung out lmao

pete describes working with neal avron as being held like an enchanted forest creature with him standing inches from pete's face and saying "what. are. the songs. about." and pete going "oh my god he's looking into my fucking soul rn"

when asked what their favorite meal is, andy says "mom's spaghetti" and doesn't elaborate, patrick says "sushi" and doesn't elaborate. pete says that he's like the joker and he's a simple man and today he had a full english breakfast and he didn't know what to do with half the stuff that showed up.

pete talks about discussing the name of "the beatles" with elliot ingham (their photographer) and says he finally understood that their name was a pun. he says about this "i'm not the sharpest tool in the shed" and doesn't realize he's referencing a meme. the crowd immediately fills him in that it's a lyric by smash mouth. andy clowns on him for this right after: "he's NOT the sharpest tool in the shed"

the host says that pete seems very intellectual. pete says "i PROMISE you that's not true."

when asked about formative musical influences andy and patrick both cite familiar names (andy namedrops drummers for bands like slayer and metallica, patrick says his dad being a folk singer was a huge influence and the 1989 danny elfman batman score). pete says joy division but says he's a visual person and most of his influences are movies.

there's a moment where patrick and pete banter and pete points at the host and says "he just told me i'm smart, i'm trying to live up to it!!" and patrick says in this very small high pitched voice "please be nice to pete!"

anyway pete says his biggest influences are "all the twilight movies except for the one where they introduce [i have no idea what he says here because the crowd promptly goes apeshit]" and also lego batman.

for newer artists patrick says he really likes the new zulu record and the new incendiary song. he says he also likes MSPAINT, alvvays, and another band i couldn't catch the name of

pete says he likes all of patrick's recommendations and says he also likes games we play. andy doesn't give any artists but says patrick gave a "great list" because he's VERY jet-lagged. he's keeping it together as best as he can tho lmao

when asked about if they would ever do a fashion runway show like they did in 2013, patrick says he was embarrassingly short for the whole thing. "i'm at like, bellybutton level." so he says he doubts they would ever be invited back to do something similar "unless they want a bunch of hobbits"

someone asks about producing and patrick gets really in depth with what producing is like and uses "from under the cork tree" as an example - "nobody puts baby in the corner" was barely adjusted from demo form but "sugar we're goin down" had totally different verses at first until they got better direction from the producer.

when asked about what their favorite video to film was, pete says youngblood chronicles WASN'T a lot of fun to make because it was like 9 months with fake blood in your hair and clothes that haven't been washed oNCE. he also didn't love doing the prosthetics for "love from the other side"

the host asks if they've seen the last of us and pete says yes but points at andy and says "he hasn't seen the last episode though so no spoilers!!!" which i thought was very sweet. he then follows that up with "just watch the fuckin episode so we can talk about it!"

patrick and andy said they shot a music video recently that was a "blast" but it's not out yet. pete calls it "very fun, very funny." the crowd starts cheering and patrick hastily says "YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT! you're under NO obligation to like it! but if you do then that's good :)"

patrick says one of the best parts of being in a band is that they all have imposter syndrome but in different ways so they can build up each other's ideas even if they don't believe in their own.....

pete's very nervous about the lyrics to this album cause he's not sure they'll be relatable since he has a lot of "insane fears day to day about not existing." he went to a lot of places that were terrifying to him and he was like "should i talk about this to my therapist" but his therapist said "put this in your lyrics"

"heaven, iowa" was the song that took the longest to come together on this record. this is followed by a rly long anecdote from patrick that im putting in another post cause it honestly made me howl.

when asked about who they'd most like to collaborate with, andy without hesitation says "ourselves" and nothing else. pete says he wanted a kid cudi feature on the album but it didn't work out since he was either busy or ghosted them fldjflkdf

when asked what song are they tired of playing that they can't cut from the setlist and they DON'T want to answer. patrick says some songs have really high notes that are demanding physically for him but that's as specific as he gets lol

pete's like "well we've got this punk song we end all our shows with from one of our earlier albums and it gets very chaotic and sometimes it's a bit of a fancy crowd of people who are like 'i like centuries, i like some of their other songs....i write sins...' and before we start the song i'm like. oh god this is gonna be bad."

when asked about the songwriting process, patrick says: "pete sends me lyrics, i mine them for stuff i like, and....i hate starting answers like this i feel like i've been saying this all MONTH. so i have ADHD - " [crowd fucking goes wild]

when asked about which projects they're proudest of outside of fall out boy, patrick turns to andy and says "andy is very quiet about being in like thirty bands" but andy says he's proud of "all of it"

patrick remarks that he's heard some love for soul punk but is also super grateful he gets to do film and tv scoring now too! he says he likes that when he's talking to people and they ask what he does and if they don't know bands or anything he can say he likes scoring for film and tv and their eyes glaze over and there are no follow-up questions LMAO??

pete is proudest of the bands on his record label!

for favorite songs on the new record, patrick says he likes "what a time to be alive" and says the lyrics are "so tremendously pete"

pete likes "baby annihilation"

when asked about the most difficult song to play live, patrick said headfirst slide wasn't really that difficult even though he expected it to be. he says a lot of songs on mania were very challenging to play live, like young and menace. pete says "what a catch, donnie" was very hard for his "little brain" to play

at the end pete shouts out the host for being fantastic since they've hung out like 3 times now and he thinks he's a great dude to hang out with. andy inexplicably follows this up with "you look like a DAMN fine cup of coffee" and doesn't elaborate but patrick thinks that's his way of saying thank you too

#fall out boy #*making poasts #SORRY THIS IS LONG BUT THERE'S A LOT I HAD TO LEAVE OUT #go watch the whole thing if you can they talk about producers and stuff for a good long while its rly interesting!!

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katy-133 · 1 year

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Rick Sanchez Showing Signs of ASD for 30 Images

(Re-posting this from a previous reblog I posted in. For organisational purposes.)

(Using some notes from CDC.gov and NHS.uk)

“People with [autism spectrum disorder (ASD)] often have problems with social communication and interaction, and restricted or repetitive behaviors or interests. People with ASD may also have different ways of learning, moving, or paying attention. It is important to note that some people without ASD might also have some of these symptoms.” - Signs and Symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder, CDC.gov

Similar to the above quote, some of the below examples can be explained through Doylist (meta) explanations (for example, Rick usually wears the same clothes because that's a common trope in animation, due to asset limitations and marketing/merchandise reasons).

With that in mind:

Bad sensory, overstimulation: Rick preferring to eat just noodles (possibly due to texture/taste aversion), instead of having what everyone else in the family is having.

Getting very upset if someone touches or gets too close: Rick pushing Morty away when Morty runs up to hug him.

Stimming (repetitive performance of certain physical movements or vocalisations) by moving his fists in a celebratory shaking motion in multiple episodes.

Gets upset by minor changes. Rick getting mad at Morty for changing the position of his car seat, refusing to leave a dangerous situation until it's re-adjusted.

Rick: "Wait, did you f**k with my seat settings?!"

Having the same routine every day and getting very anxious if it changes: Rick being upset that Morty is busy and can't go on an adventure with him (like in a typical episode).

Gastrointestinal issues (for example, constipation). An episode focuses on Rick needing to go to a custom planet (that felt safe and secluded) to use the toilet and feeling great distress upon learning that someone else found the planet.

Has a safe food that is seeked out for comfort. Rick likes wafers. He's seen getting them from the kitchen in multiple episodes, Beth makes sure the house is stocked with them, and the Citadel of Ricks even has its own factory to produce them.

Referencing good sensory: Rick talking in detail about pancakes covered in syrup, not wanting the pancakes to go bad.

Rick: "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got pancakes back home with syrup on top of them. They're about to hit that critical point of syrup absorption that turns the cakes into a gross paste. And I hate to get all Andy Rooney about it, but I think we all like fluffy discs of cake with syrup on top!"

And Rick enjoying pancakes in S1E10 and S4E2:

Has obsessive interests. Rick becoming hyper-focused on giant mecha collecting and Morty reminding him to not go overboard on his new hyperfixation.

Morty: "Sometimes, enough is... ?" Rick: (Sadly) "Sometimes enough is enough."

Liking to plan things carefully before doing them: Rick keeping various helpful inventions in his lab coat just in case he needs them later (Vindicators episode).

Infodumping (to excitedly share a large amount of information about a highly-focused subject or passion at one time, usually in great detail and length).

Finding it hard to talk about feelings: Rick having hesitation in apologising and explaining his thoughts and feelings to Jerry.

Rick: "If I'm genuinely cool, I should be able to love you. Which I... therefore do."

Avoids or does not keep eye contact: Rick looking away or breaking eye contact with Morty. Image set of Morty calling him out:

Rick breaking eye contact while lying to Morty:

Having a preferred outfit to wear each day (can be cause of sensory issues). Rick wearing the same blue shirt for over 40 years (we see in flashbacks that it was brighter and has faded with time).

Unusual speech patterns, such as stuttering. Rick's stuttering decreases as seasons progress.

Vocal stimming (when someone repeats a specific sound or phrase to produce sensory stimulation). Some autistic children find it easier to make up their own words. Rick repeatedly saying, "wubba lubba dub dub." He will also repeat his own words (echolalia) immediately afterwards.

Delay edecholalia, scripting (when someone "saves" exact phrases and uses them later to make social situations easier). Rick (in The Ricks Must Be Crazy) remembers Morty's comment, "that just sounds like slavery with extra steps" and uses it later to try and win an argument with another scientist.

Not picking up social cues, finding it hard to understand what others are thinking or feeling. Rick making a joke and then realising the other person is in too much distress to laugh with him (has done this with both Morty and Jerry).

Rick: "You're not laughing?" (Expression changes upon realising) "Oh, right. You're dying."

Unconventional grief response, "inappropriate" facial expressions, lack of fear: Rick reacting to burying himself in a less uneasy way than Morty.

"To the point" style of social interaction. Rick often speaks bluntly and is seen as rude by other characters in response.

Rick: "Everyone, f**k off. Morty, I need your help."

Has a terrible memory but can remember ridiculously difficult information if it interests him. Rick forgets his portal gun and leaves it behind, but can remember the formula for various chemical reactions without using a reference (ending of M.Night Shaym-Aliens!).

And finally...

President Curtis referencing Rick's neurodivergency:

Rick's comment:

Rick: "I'm not touching that thing,"

Rick finding a roundabout way to let Morty know that he (Rick) also has ASD:

Rick: "Is this game popular with autistic people?" Morty: "Why would you say something like that?" Rick: "Because I'm starting to love it."

Wish I could have added more examples, but 30 images is Tumblr's current post limit.

(I understand that the potential meme joke by OP is that the "NOT YOU" image is of Rick from season 1, versus his markedly changed characterisation in season 5-onwards, that focused more on coding Rick as neurodivergent.)

I hope this has been in some part educational for a few readers. Happy Autism Acceptance Month.

But now for the disclaimer bit: Don't take it from me, learn more about ASD.

#tumblr won't let me add links sorry.#rick and morty #my text #storytelling #neurodiversity #long post

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resisteverything · 21 days

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Tbh it's clear that S2 of HB is soft rebooting pretty much everything from S1, which is quite....sad frankly and why everything seems disjointed. Let's see here....

The Grimoire? Well that's pointless now, because of the introduction of Asmodean Crystals. If they were there the whole time, then the book is a paperweight(put a pin in this for now.)

Stolas and Stella's relationship? Well at the start, seemed a bit of a mixed bag sort of thing, there was tension obviously between them, but they still shared a bed. Octavia seemed at least by implication of dialogue, good memories of her parents when they weren't fighting. BOTH VAs for Stolas and Stella, seem to think there was more going on with their characters(kind of a red flag, so it seems they didn't even know where their own characters were going). Stolas' song to Via and the lyrics of "I used to think that I was bold, I used to think love would be fun." Sorry but that's clearly referencing him and Stella having had SOME kind of relationship before everything went sour, boldness as per definition suggests that Stolas was the one who initiated and wanting to be with Stella. His lyrics of "now my stories have been told, except for one..." Also implies that he was extremely old.

Oh but S2 shoots all that in the face, with the laziest plotline ever and absolving Stolas of any wrong doing by his Family, by making Stella an evil bitch, as well as a dumbass. This plotline is so boring, considering Stolas already stood up to her and kicked her out of the house and is getting a divorce....there's nothing left there. He can't have been bold for his and Stella's relationship, considering he was forced into it and all his stories? That's bunk, considering the guy is only like in his 30s..

Blitz big vocal grievances to Stolas at the end of S1? Pointless now, because in blink and you'll miss it texts, Stolas doesn't even understand WHY Blitz was upset despite being flat out told to his face.

Stolas and Blitz' relationship? Back to square 1 apparently within Seeing Stars and moreso Stolas has no character growth, it doesn't matter that he's going to give Blitz a Crystal....because he doesn't even seem to understand what he's done wrong.

Also side note, why is Stolas the one getting the Crystal and not Blitz? Why is Stolas having to be the one to give it to him, can't Fizz and Ozzie just you know...mail it to the address of I.M.P.? Ozzie has Blitz' phone number, just send it directly to him.

Blitz and Stolas' deal? Completely pointless due to the afore mentioned Asmodean Crystals and the fact that I.M.P. was killing in Hell before the Grimoire. You can now completely REMOVE Stolas from the show, due to these factors.

Season 1? Since Blitz mentioned to Crimson that they killed in Hell before in Exes and Ohs, why not have some of the episodes build upon that? Why not expand upon the worldbuilding of Hell this way, only for the crew to find out that maybe killing up on Earth would be far more lucrative and thus find a way to get an Asmodean Crystal? There's a catch though, the only one who can(Fizzarolli) hates Blitz for past actions against him...

So now...Blitz goes on this arc of making amends with those of his past, including Fizzarolli, Verosika and Barbie. This is where S2 picks up.

Oh look at that, I removed Stolas entirely from the show and now gave room more to explore Moxxie, Millie and Loona as characters with Blitz as they navigate through Hell in trying to keep their assassination company afloat.

I didn't mean for the long winded ask, don't have to post it up...but yeah S2 clearly seems to reboot S1 and the more hilarious sad part of it is, you can remove Stolas entirely now because of it.

Yeah… and how is it that this crystal is so hard to get that Stolas has to get them from Ozzie when they’re presumably handed out like hotcakes to every succubus in hell? Either that or Verosika being on the surface in spring broken is a world-breaking plot hole.

#helluva boss criticism #helluva boss critical #helluva boss #helluva boss neg #helluva boss critique #helluva critical

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icepixie · 9 months

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Some Strange New Worlds spitballing. One tiny spoiler for 2x07.

I'm becoming ever more convinced that Pike is going to regain some physical functioning after his radiation poisoning, and Illyrian genetic engineering is going to play some part in it. That would make the whole genetic engineering/Una/trial arc feel less...not exactly pointless, because it's been nice for her character, but we know the same damn thing happens to Julian Bashir a century later, so despite things working out for Una, in general it's not exactly a victory. But if the Illyrian thing is also a proverbial gun set to go off after Pike's accident, well, that would be nice. It would also be cool to see Una go home--for the first time in 30 years?--or to Illyria on a mission for her friend, much as Chris did for her.

And maybe after, Starfleet says, "Well, now you're Contaminated by Genetic Engineering and will proceed to take over the galaxy if we let you have command of anything," and boots him out. I imagine they were probably able to hush up Una's Illyrian-ness to the wider Federation public, or if not, then they leaned hard into the asylum thing. Christopher Pike isn't going to fly under the radar so easily. And if they let him in, they'd have to let other genetically engineered folks in, which we know they (officially) don't.

So maybe instead of Pike being disabled (and let me tell you I have some ISSUES with how the show conflates "disabled" and "dead," but I'm avoiding them for this post) and cut off from his friends, he's instead kicked out of the 'Fleet and cut off from his friends, and that's what Boimler was referencing in the crossover episode. That would be a cool little subversion too.

...Except I strongly suspect that Una would get herself a captaincy on a ship that allows civilian family members and take Chris onboard as her partner, even marry him if that's what it takes, so perhaps he'd not be entirely cut off. And then they could do a fake-married-to-lovers plotline and I would be thrilled beyond measure, you have no idea. Or else she'd resign in solidarity and they'd start up some kind of starship-based business together. Freight haulage or something. Either way, I think it could work.

On a related note, I don't think they're doing this, but it would be very cool if Boimler's appreciation for Una in particular derives from her genetics, because he's an augment too. Only, like, it went wrong, and the only outcome is the purple hair. 'Cause I can't really see Boimler dying his hair that unnatural color. But maybe not. Or maybe there was transporter fuckery at some point in his life and the lingering symptom is just the hair. That's probably more likely.

#star trek: strange new worlds #strange new worlds #lower decks #star trek: lower decks #pikeuna #Christopher Pike #Una Chin-Riley #Brad Boimler

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saltygilmores · 5 months

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THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS: APPLICATION ANXIETY (SEASON 3, EPISODE 3, PART 3)

Luke marches next door to confront Taylor about his malt shop scheme. I love Luke giving Taylor a good smack down. This episode is so chock full of verbal smack downs, I'm positively giddy.

He's not wrong you know. I fully believe there is a dark side to The Hollow. I wish to one day explore it in my unrated spinoff chock full of swearing and gritty realism and Naked Adult Jess titled...The Hollow.

How creepy is it that Taylor has surveillance cameras all over town? Also, I think I can be forgiven for wrongly assuming Taylor was going to show Luke a picture of Jess. He's chosen to use a couple of skateboarders as an example of moral decay in Stars Hollow when Jess and Shane were macking it against a tree in front of hundreds of people in broad daylight at a festival HE was overseeing. That's funny. I’m glad Taylor decided to leave Jess alone and turn a blind eye to the furious public groping. I'm thinking since Jess could use a couple of friends he should introduce himself to these skateboarders. I think he would fit in nicely. "You want to open up a soda shop next to the diner? Taylor, no, no, no. Every day from now until the end of my life, I am going to come in here saying "Taylor, no." When I die, I'm gonna be frozen next to Ted Williams, and when they find the cure to what I died of and unfreeze me, my first words will be "How's Ted?" followed closely by, "Taylor, no." Another glorious Nuclear Rant! Hey, I actually understood that Ted Williams reference! Umm. Let me have this article unpack it because this post is going to go wildly off script if I attempt to do it myself. Ted Williams' decapitated head was cryonically preserved in a Frankenstein-like plan to resurrect him in the future

Here's what Lorelai is reading (the magazine is dated August 23-30, 2002).

Lorelai informs Rory that she met with Charleston and he suggested Rory meet with a Harvard graduate for an alumni dinner...Aw crud, I remember that. That whole thing where Rory goes to a very awkward dinner with a bunch of intellectual dorks then she goes upstairs to find some girl putting on a bunny costume, and then the bunny gives her life advice about being yourself and not following the crowd or something.

Hey Dave.

Stop it AmyShermanPalladino. Just stop it. *grumbles and googles* Danny Davies Gans (October 25, 1956 – May 1, 2009) was an American singer, comedian and vocal impressionist. Gans was a performer on the Las Vegas Strip and the surrounding area, where he was billed as "The Man of Many Voices." This was in reference to Lorelai impersonating Rory's voice on the phone.

And now, time for the alumni dinner.

She has a digital organizer. That's how we're supposed to know she's really rich.

Lorelai makes a joke about how she thinks the brother and sister in the family are having sex with each other. Welp. At dinner with the Harvard Dorks, Rory and Lorelai exchange looks when the father implores his supposedly incestuous children not to "Fight over the breast." What is happening? Mom and Dad won't talk about Carol (the bunny). The dad is kinda Richard-Esque. The next several minutes is just an excrutiangly long game of Harvard Dork Family Playing Trivia at the dinner table and would you look at that, Lorelai feels like a fish out of the water for not understanding anything they're referencing. HA, HA! NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS!

Look at all the kooky crap on the walls. It looks like a TGI Friday's. And she's dressed as a 50's car hop. We already know this girl (Carol) is going to be so quirky. Rory thinks this chick is pretty keen and appreciates her taste in music. Spoiler alert: Rory does not make a new friend. Bunny Carol is Fun and Cute and Quirky and Not Like Other Girls and she intends to make it known that Rory is nothing more than a Harvard Sheep. Baaaa.

If only Rory could be a bunny/waitress like Carol and not stuck on The conveyor belt of Expectations, then she'd truly be happy. Well, who knows, since the journalism degree obviously didn't pan out, maybe at one point she did. There's a big hole in the Gilmore Girls timeline between 2007-2016. LOL @ Rory waiting tables or entertaining children for a living. Even April waited tables at Luke’s and she was like, 12 or something. I don’t remember. Anyway I made myself laugh just now. Rory: I've dreamt of Harvard since I was 4. Bunny Carol: LOL, a lot of little kids dream about that, right after meeting Harry Potter. This bunny is downright vicious.

Getting screen shots of that giant pencil to make jokes about how Rory is always holding oversized props that are vaguely penis-like is the only reason I ever venture into season 7.

I swear there was a fourth penis prop because I referenced that pencil not long ago and can’t find it now.

Take that, Crusty!

Sure, Lorelai is easy to please. Unless you date someone she doesn’t like, or you talk to your grandparents, or you invite your grandparents to a thing, or you take the advice of your grandparents, or you conspire with your grandparents to help your mother financially, or you consider a college that your grandparents suggest, or you consider other colleges besides the best ones, or your quarter on a string goes missing, or your friend gets you into a car accident, or you break up with Dean and suddenly there’s no one around to pleasure her sexually anymore… Otherwise Lorelai is super chill.

Things googled while watching gilmore girls: Ted Williams, Entertainment Weekly Gangs of New York, Danny Gans, How Much Did A PalmPilot Cost, Could A Palm Pilot Make Calls, Inflation Calculator (to calculate the price of a Palm Pilot in today's money, which could be between $400-$700)

#gilmore girls #denise rewatches gilmore girls #gilmore girls season 3 #application anxiety #rory gilmore #lorelai gilmore #luke danes #taylor doose #Luke Vs Taylor Verbal Smackdown

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i-is-v-tired · 1 year

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D20 theory time: Colin Provolone

I have seen a lot of people bring up the ex-noble theory and I personally love this theory Could Colin Provolone be a bastard? I think he is hiding because he is technically the last of the Fontina line.

In episode 1 and 2 he referenced being an orphan or coming from the streets. When he talked about not eating enough and tell Karna he knows what it is like to be on the streets.

My idea is that he is a bit younger then we think. So after the coup he hide as orphan child, in ACoC they talked about how small the Dairy Islands are and after Cal’s coup and Cinnamon’s destruction on port syrup that innocent people die in conflicts like that some child left parents less. So it would be easy to hide with the other orphan children. I think he is older then Deli but not by much. So 20s at least but I don’t see him breaking 30

He was quick to stay and aline with Deli.

He understands being close to a heir of tribe would inadvertently bring him protection from people looking for him but also being just a sword and working in the shadows would help bring cover for him. Deli can account for him/ who he is and no one would ask those questions to him. Him becoming Skald Provolone messes with him a little, but that’s still Deli giving him protection.

In episode two, he talks about people looking for him. When Deli asked “Is it someone you killed” only to responded “I don’t think I even really did anything”

This personally makes me believe in him being a bastard because he could literally have nothing to do with his royal family but just him being born would cause issues for the Fontina family and later the coup. However, for him, he in all reality didn’t do anything.

He recognized the banter but He is not used to being in the spot light nor prepared to announce or what to say or when to say it.

With ACoC being inspired by Game of Thrones, It makes sense for him being a part of the Fontina family in someway, but being a Jon Snow like part of it. This would lead to him being put to the side and never being involved in a court atmosphere.

His build shows someone that was trained and knows how to survive battle. Cunning Action, Mobil feat, and AC of 17 show he is going to be hard to hit and to keep in one spot.

With GoT inspired and going with the Jon Snow influence, him being trained makes perfect sense. And if he’s the only surviving member of the coup him, picking up the rogue aspects combined with the battle master. would give way to someone who’s battle smart but not courtly as a noble would be.

Some of these points might not really add to the theory. But I think it might explain why he ask a certain way.

He was creeped out by the Archbishop, paying so much attention to him

(Honestly, I would be too.) This gives more evidence into him, trying to hide who he is.

He is not a church going person, but he got serious enough to quick to pull a sword when he saw Karna’s magic. Then continued go so far as to threaten Karna even after it was explained as she was a miracle worker.

It would make since for him not to be church going or trust the church. In GoT people bastards/ people born out of wedlock from an adulteress situation are looked down on and considered a sin. Maybe he has had a bad experience with someone who was a miracle work for the Fontina

I think it would be really cool to have a bastard character because we didn’t really see one in ACoC. The was everything with Jet, Ruby, and Saccharinne, but at the end of the day that didn’t matter really because they were all turn out to be legitimate and Ruby did want the candy crown. Yet this is just a theory by the end of the day so feel free to pick up this as you like or add to it. I am very interested to hear everybody else is theories.

#dimension 20 #d20 #the ravening war #colin provolone #thane delissandro katzon #trw #raphaniel charlock #karna #mine

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carefulfears · 11 months

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oooooh please expand on this !!! i always wanna hear more about scully https://www.tumblr.com/waiting-for-the-day/720301741123551232/ykno-what-we-dont-talk-about-about-how-hard-txf

yesss

(the referenced post)

the third hour of the series, squeeze is both the first monster-of-the-week and the first episode to establish the impact of the x-files on scully's life, offering her choice and the audience perspective.

opening on lunch with an old classmate, scully catches up with her peers and how they are progressing after the academy (marty is supervisory agent of foreign counter intelligence, tom is on the fast track in violent crimes...dana is "mrs. spooky" in the basement, having "close encounters of the third kind")

this first scene equates scully with mulder in more ways than a derogatory nickname; colton tells her about his tough case in violent crimes because he wants her to ask mulder.

this is a line that is walked throughout season one, as mulder is still thought of as "the best analyst in the violent crimes division," despite having left the VCU two years earlier. often, the FBI will need his input on a case, while still disregarding and disrespecting him, and we can see this extended to scully here.

"if you don't mind some overtime, you're welcome to come aboard with us, on this. that is if you don't mind working in an area that's a bit more down-to-earth."

having been invited onto colton's case, scully writes up a profile (that ends up being exactly correct, and ultimately catching the killer, even though mulder doesn't agree with her position) and presents her findings.

when a stake-out is planned based on her work, colton's superior in the VCU tells her that she is "welcome to come," reluctantly inviting her to her own plan.

throughout the episode, scully does her best to present herself as capable and professional, but mulder doesn't make things easy for her; he constantly leans into every joke made about him, negating his own authority and playing into the degrading public opinion, something that scully has never seen.

she knows that there is more to the x-files, and more to mulder, than little green men- but that's a kind of vulnerability that's been exposed to her, and her only.

and the more that she aligns herself with mulder, the more the wavering stand she has in the FBI's "boy's club" falters.

contrasted with the begrudging inclusion of the men climbing the ladder, squeeze showcases mulder in the supportive role, instantly adjusting his theories and profile to incorporate scully's input. which he does without taking the lead.

and he takes the time to tell her that if she wants to work with colton, he understands and respects that; directly contrasting the VCU's constant disdain for scully's work on the x-files.

this is something that he stops her to say immediately after hearing colton's line, "you said mulder was out there, that guy's insane." (which was not only demeaning, but implied that scully had been belittling mulder behind his back, which isn't true)

later, he casually says that they need to catch tooms quickly, because in 30 years when he comes out again, scully will be "head of the bureau."

he not only assumes that she won't be working with him for long, but that she'll be successful in her own career, climbing the ladder to the very top; a foregone conclusion.

(this is something that he laments 25 years later, in season 11's nothing lasts forever, when he admits that he imagines a world where she had walked out of that office, and been "kersh's boss at the FBI")

squeeze also brings back the height difference reversal that is so meaningful in the pilot, and throughout the series.

mulder is 10 inches taller than scully, and often will intentionally lower himself beneath her. especially in vulnerable or emotional situations.

i love love love these tags from iconicscullyoutfits on this scene:

"feels like other men would stand up instinctively to be on the same level as her. especially in squeeze which was all about her being belittled by other men and struggling for equal footing in the boys club of the fbi. she comes down to mulder and she's big like him."

when i talk about squeeze as being the most important episode to understanding scully's motivation, i mean this moment here.

at the scene of the fourth murder, colton won't let mulder enter, and when scully threatens to report him, he asks: whose side are you on?

her answer, that she is on the side of the victim, encapsulates everything that drives her dedication and devotion from the beginning.

this show, and this partnership, is based in shared values rather than shared belief; that's what makes it work.

scully wants to be on the side of the victim, to be helping those that need it, and she's quickly realizing that this isn't how you thrive in the federal government. that despite how much she "believed in her country" when she left medicine for the FBI, this isn't what the federal government does, or prioritizes.

however, it is what mulder does, and she's learning that too.

the side of the victim and the side of law enforcement are not the same, and mulder knows that already, has already given up the respect and acclaim of climbing the ladder. he's on the side of the victim to the "point of insanity," to the point of abandoning reputation.

this is what scully gives her life over to, this is where she finds the work that she left medicine to pursue.

and ultimately, she severs her ties with the outside world.

the next time that colton makes a mean comment about mulder, she tells him that he can keep climbing the ladder, but she hopes he falls.

the thing is, scully doesn't need to be associated with mulder to be looked down upon by her peers. she would be regardless, by nature of being a woman in a male-dominated profession.

but she could cleave to authority, continue trying to fit in and climb the ladder. she chooses not to, to go where aligned with her convictions, and where she's respected; even when it means sacrificing a seat at the table.

and in the end, they walk off side-by-side (he follows her).

#asks #squeeze

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wingzie · 1 year

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Jikook After Tokyo

In 2014 Jimin said that he wanted to go on a trip alone with Jungkook. Three years later they travelled to Tokyo alone together. On 30th October 2017, Jimin and Jungkook returned from their trip. A day later, Jimin uploaded a selca of them together in the dance practice room. The selca gives intimate vibes, with the way JK’s cheek is resting on Jimin’s fluffy hair as they lean against each other. You can feel their happiness radiating through the selca with their smiles. They’re glowing in domesticity and it was something that continued.

On November 1st, BTS performed at the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics G-100 Concert. All of the groups sang Butterfly together for the encore. Jimin and Jungkook stayed close together as they got into position for rehearsals, nearly always touching. Jimin stayed behind Jungkook, with their bodies overlapping as they whispered to each other on stage. Jikook stayed constantly glued to each other whilst rehearsing and it didn’t go unnoticed.

The bubble that Jimin and Jungkook created continued as they sang live. Continuously giving each other heart eyes and whispering to each other just before the fireworks went off. They stayed within each other's orbit and these sweet interactions made some interested in their dynamics, aware that Jikook had just returned from their Tokyo trip together. Jimin and Jungkook seemed closer than ever.

The next day, the members filmed episodes 30 and 31 of Run BTS. The loser of the episode would have to wear their outfit on their way to Macau the next day on November 3rd. (Spoilers: Jimin lost.) Jimin and Jungkook stayed alongside each other at the airport as they walked past the mass crowds.

Shortly after they touched down, Jimin was spotted at a local hospital and rumours quickly spread. On the day of the concert, BH announced that Jimin would not be fully taking part in the choreography on stage due to muscle pain. You could see how frustrated Jimin was on the chair with limited movement and the members made sure to include him as much as they could. They also tried to make him smile and comfort him. In the Burn the Stage Episode 8, we saw more of what happened in the behinds before the concert. Jimin is clearly upset by his muscle pain and how it will affect the performance. Especially when it was the last leg of the tour before going back to Seoul. Jungkook sits next to him on the sofa as the other members discuss Jimin taking it easy during the concert. They express their concern and understanding of his situation, not wanting the pain to get worse.

The lyrics from “There For You” hit more when you realise that Jungkook would have been editing GCFT during this time. Just like how Jimin ran to Jungkook twice in London 2018 when he was also injured, they are always there for each other. We have seen so many instances over the years where they have been there for each other. It’s a very strong instinct between them and their presence alone helps the other when they are upset. Something consistent from over the years.

On 6th November 2017, Jimin posted a cute vlog in two parts of their trip to Tokyo. Jimin starts the adorable edit with the opening captions of “Finally the first trip.”, referencing his wish from 2014. The video features both Jimin and Jungkook enjoying themselves in Tokyo, sharing the various activities that they did together. He also uploaded a selca of themselves in costume, which they wore as they went around in Halloween undetected.

Unknown to Jimin at the time, Jungkook was also working on his own creation. It took approximately eight days to finish the masterpiece, amongst all the other schedules that they had. Often staying up late to finish editing, as Namjoon stated that he saw Jungkook editing at 3am. Jungkook happily uploaded GCFT on 8th November 2017 at 10pm kst, whilst filming the VCR for 4th Muster.

GCFT contained footage of their trip in Tokyo, with scenes of mostly Jimin being featured. Jimin responded to the post over an hour later, saying that “if hyung knew that you were going to make such a cool video, I would’ve cared more about how I look and I wouldn’t have done such weird things. Next time I will try to look better. Thank you for making this video. You worked hard.” The video shows their trip mostly from his pov. Jimin looks stunning as we see him happily walking around Tokyo or spinning in the tea cup. With the delicate choice of editing and clips to match the lyrics, you cannot help but feel certain emotions when you watch it.

The trip was obviously very meaningful to both Jimin and Jungkook.They both made edits of their trip which they then shared with us. They didn’t have to, but they did. They wanted to include us with their memories. They also continued to reference GCFT several times over the years. When asked “what was something you experienced for the first time this year?” Jimin responded with ``I went on a trip with Jungkook for the first time.”

After Macau and the release of GCFT, BTS travelled to America for the AMA’s and Mic Drop promotions. Whilst travelling, Jungkook asked to sit in the same car as Jimin. Jimin then posted a video of them on the plane. During the AMA’s itself, Jungkook continued to rub Jimin’s jacket. Jimin asked him to stop and Jungkook did, keeping his hand on his waist. Similar to the Olympics stage, Jikook stayed close together as they went to the main stage.

When they returned to Seoul, award season continued. They also completed their Wings Tour, with Jikook doing a charming and flirty Vlive together on December 8th before they went on stage. These soft and smitten vibes continued into 2018 when award season ended and they started to rehearse for 4th Muster. Whilst performing, Jikook flirted with each other and the fandom noticed that Jikook still had that certain glow around them. That they made each other happy and blush and weren’t afraid to show it. Something which continued throughout 2018 and later years.

#jikook #jikooktokyo #gcft

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glompcat · 1 year

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I am curious about the longevity of things like this:

For some context - the lesbian toaster joke originated on the sitcom Ellen during 1997's oh so famous The Puppy Episode. This is the big two part episode where both the sitcom character Ellen and the rl Ellen DeGeneres (who, of course, played the character) came out. It of course almost directly led to the show's cancellation and many years of blacklisting from work in Hollywood for the people involved with said episode.

In that episode the character Susan (played by Laura Dern, one of the people blacklisted for a time as a result of her involvement with The Puppy Episode), a lesbian Ellen had a crush on which caused her to admit her lesbianism, is at the end of the episode gifted a toaster. Susan is gifted the toaster by a character played by Melissa Etheridge after she brings Ellen in to sign the official coming out contracts and paperwork.

youtube

This was a play on a practice banks had at the time where they would gift people toasters when they opened a new account, but of course people have interpreted it in a ton of ways over the years especially as it become something of a community in joke.

The joke is sometimes that newly out lesbians get a new toaster as a welcome gift, or that the person who "turned" them gets the toaster. Regardless, I am wondering who had encountered any variation on this joke prior to engaging with this post as I really am curious how long things like this last as the pop culture moment they are referencing fade from memory.

Feel free to share in the tags if you can remember the context you first encountered the joke in. For example I remember reading a ton of Buffy fics where Tara getting a toaster during S4 was a very prevalent recurring thing.

#Really curious how long this sort of thing remains in the community consciousness #Youtube

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canonicallyobserving911 · 10 months

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9-1-1 Season 6 - Constructive Criticisms #6

Season Six or Season of Sex

Season Six or the Season of Sex is being included in these “constructive criticisms” posts because there were a lot of implications and references to it over the season’s 18 episodes and it all started before the season even began. During a pre-season interview, OS and PK were preparing to discuss expectations for the upcoming season when OS mistakenly said, “Season Sex” instead of “Season Six”. Even though he quickly corrected himself, based on all the emergencies and implications that involved sex throughout the season, it’s possible his comment may not have been a mistake at all but the audience will never know.

Sex was a recurring theme and it was referenced in at least 9 of the season’s 18 episodes. Three emergencies included couples who sustained injuries prior to or during the act and there was an abundance of implications made about Buck’s sexual prowess or his lack thereof in at least two episodes. While there were references made to both Bathena’s and Henren’s active sex lives, they were completely overshadowed with topics that included cheating spouses, masturbation jokes, sex thrill seekers, unsatisfied partners and several references to all the “unsatisfying sex” Buck had during his Buck 1.0 phase.

It’s the 21st century, TV shows have progressed far beyond their predecessors from 10, 20, 30, 40 and 50 years ago and even though the topic is being discussed more openly in network TV programs, it appears whatever 9-1-1 attempted to accomplish with all the implications and references to sex made during season 6, they completely missed the mark since the reasons for it were never revealed. Was the show trying to make a point? Who knows but after analyzing the season in its entirety and comparing it with other things that took place in 6A and 6B, it appears whatever the initial point was supposed to be, it got lost in translation and it didn’t land properly. Even after the season ended, the reason was still unclear and for Buck, 6x18 ended with a conflict to something they implied and referenced about him in 6x13.

Disclaimer: This post is not about the right or wrong ways to have sex or whether it should happen before or after marriage. The point of it is to identify all the implications and references 9-1-1 made about sex in season 6 from an overall perspective to illustrate how they missed the mark by not fully committing to whatever story they were trying to tell.

My sixth set of “constructive criticisms” regarding the implications made about sex in season 6 are included below the cut. Please note criticizing a TV show is NOT a bad thing especially since TV critics have been doing it for decades. Constructive criticisms are designed to help make something better and they are VERY different from negativity. A person can offer criticisms about a form of entertainment they spend their time watching and not be negative about it the same way two people can agree to disagree on a topic. Just because one person liked the season, they shouldn’t expect others to feel the way they do because everyone has their own opinions. Simply put, two people can have different opinions about 9-1-1 and those opinions can COEXIST since they are not mutually exclusive.

If reading criticisms about the TV show 9-1-1 upsets you, then don’t read below the cut.

⚠️ Warning! ⚠️“Constructive Criticisms” Ahead!

As mentioned above, season 6 focused on sex for at least half of the season but it’s evident whatever the show was attempting to imply or reference about it remained unclear. In previous seasons, the emergencies included in an episode were always related to the main characters’ storylines but in season 6, two of the sexcapade themed emergencies didn’t relate to the episode titles or the main characters’ storylines at all and Buck’s masturbation jokes in 6x7 should have been eliminated.

For whatever reason the showrunner thought the audience listening to Buck tell Hen about the way he hadn’t masturbated in four weeks was a good idea because she thought it would be funny. Comments posted after the episode aired proved it wasn’t fun, funny or hilarious and most viewers’ comments stated how they were left scratching their heads and wondering why it was included in the first place.

Also, Hen had just dropped out of medical school when she had the discussion with Buck which means she should have been allowed to tell him not masturbating for four weeks actually hurt his chances of providing Connor and Kameron with a viable donation instead of it helping them. It was another egregious error and omission by the showrunner because she wanted Buck to have a baby by any means necessary instead of following the narrative for his character (Part 5 of this blog series, linked here, includes details regarding continuity errors and forced narratives).

Based on the way episodes were rearranged and titles were changed, it appears there were a lot of last-minute changes to the original plan which probably contributed to the lack of continuity with regards to whatever story the showrunner was trying to tell. While it’s possible someone had an idea during the season’s planning stages and they committed to it, hours before filming or days after a scene was completed, someone else or the same person decided to change course and renege on what they set out to accomplish. Since they never committed to identifying what the implications and references to sex meant, it made the season appear to be discombobulated and unorganized and it made the way sex was incorporated into the season seem like it was an afterthought to fill up empty slots in episodes. It was handled similarly to the way storylines were treated during seasons 5 and 6 (Part 4 of this blog series, linked here, includes information about the unequal distribution of storylines).

All the episodes that included implications and references to sex during season 6 have been included below.

Please note: instances where no explanation was needed, weren’t included. For example, the implication of Henren’s active sex life in 6x6 and Bathena’s active sex life in 6x13 weren’t included because they don’t have to be since the implications and references were able to be interpreted without an explanation.

6x1 “Let the Games Begin”

Maddie and Chimney had a one-night stand after he invited her to stay with him at his apartment when the kitchen ceiling in her place started leaking. The next morning, he left before she woke up and they never talked about it. The synopsis included details about them going to couples therapy but that didn’t happen so their one-night stand played out like they weren’t communicating with each other and it conflicts with the way their relationship was shown in previous seasons. After the end of 3x13, they didn’t have a problem doing it or talking about it and even when Maddie was pregnant in 4x9, she told Chimney they were going to have sex with the hope that it would induce her labor. That’s the reason why their one-night stand and the lack of couples therapy made it seem like something in 6x1 changed before the episode aired. They hadn’t reconciled yet but they never had a problem communicating prior to season 6 even after 5x12 because they agreed while they were in Boston, they weren’t going to hide things from each other anymore. Therefore, the implication of them having difficulties communicating didn’t make any narrative sense (this topic will be elaborated on in a future post).

6x2 “Crash and Learn”

The emergency at the beginning of the episode that had the wife cheating on her husband with her next-door neighbor DID NOT relate to the theme of the episode. It was evident their affair had been going on for a while since the neighbor built a ‘Tunnel of Lust’, that’s what Chimney called it, that was connected to the bottom of their closet. It gave the neighbor access to enter their home without her husband seeing him on any of the cameras he had set up on the outside of the house. It begs the question, what was the point of this scene? A woman having sex with her neighbor instead of her husband had absolutely nothing to do with the crash and learn synopsis. The husband dropping explosives into his backyard like he was doing it to ward off gophers was actually, an attempted murder where if he’s found guilty, he could end up in jail. He suspected she was cheating on him but it wasn’t like the walkway that crashed at the Happiness Convention later in the episode and Hen proved it when she told him he was under arrest. He tried to kill his neighbor so the inclusion of this scene in that episode made no sense and the implications and references to sex made it seem like it was another afterthought that was thrown into the episode for a purpose that only the showrunner understands.

6x4 “Animal Instincts”

Connor telling Buck he felt like a total failure as a man because he couldn’t get his wife pregnant DID NOT relate to the theme of the episode. Eddie’s worry about Chris growing up was an example of animal instincts and so was Lourdes protecting her daughter Claribel but the whole Buck, Connor and Kameron storyline was not about protecting one’s child. It seems like the whole “sperm donor” storyline was thrown into the episode because they didn’t know what else to put in it, even though Hen and Karen have a son and Athena and Bobby have two children but hey, apparently the showrunner needed an excuse to include a storyline for Buck in that episode too even though he already had two storylines by the time the episode aired. What were they trying to accomplish with Connor manipulating Buck into being his sperm donor? Whatever it was, just like a lot of the other storylines, it wasn’t clear (this topic will be elaborated on in a future post).

The implication and reference to sex when Buck told Hen “I think we all know I’m capable” while he referenced his junk and his semen shouldn’t have been included in the episode. It seems like hardly anyone wanted to hear him reference his “baby making machine” especially after 6x7 aired but apparently someone thought it would be good TV.

6x5 “Home Invasion”

That whole ambulance scene with Marisol and her brother was right out of that 1980s Folgers coffee commercial. The scene that made it into the episode was reshot but it still looked like she was in love with her brother so what was the goal here? What were they trying to imply or reference? Did the implications and the references have anything to do with sex? It’s still unclear especially since they threw the character of Marisol at Eddie in the last two episodes of the season, and that was after he saw the way she acted with her brother. Both his and Chimney’s eyebrows were raised like they were trying to figure out what was going on and the audience was trying to figure out the same thing. Furthermore, the ambulance scene didn’t even need to be in the episode so what the actual Frick Frack was that about?

6x7 “Cursed”

The masturbation talk Buck had with Hen and the jokes about his junk were NOT FUNNY and it should have been edited out of the episode. No one wanted to listen to them discuss the way Buck hadn’t done the deed for four weeks. The implications and references to his junk were ridiculous and it could have been omitted. Also, since the “cursed” part of his storyline (if there even still is one) wasn’t revealed even though the show was supposed to end after 6x18, why was this scene included in the episode?

6x8 “9-1-1 What’s Your Fantasy?”

The couple who wanted to have sex on top of the fire ENGINE was ridiculous and Bobby explained it best when he said, “That has to be the dumbest most dangerous and dumbest fantasy I’ve ever heard of”. The episode title was changed from “Pilgrimage” to “9-1-1 What’s your Fantasy?” so it’s kind of obvious the scene was a last-minute addition to make the episode work but it fell flat. Also, IIRC, the couple who had sex on top of the fire engine in the movie “Backdraft” was up there while the ENGINE was parked not while it was going down the street. This wasn’t funny and the scene should have been deleted.

6x13 “Mixed Feelings”

Buck discussing his “woodworking skills” while they were playing poker was a reference to his Buck 1.0 days and Julie Rosen saying she “worked” with Buckley implied they had sex. But the question is when was it supposed to have happened since prior to that episode she was only included in two episodes, i.e., 5x7 while Buck was with Taylor and in 6x2 when he was completely distraught after Lev died? Was it supposed to be something else that happened off-screen? From the way it was executed, it appears it was just another way for the showrunner to focus on Buck’s junk.

The original title of the episode was “New Sensation” and if the show would have kept that title, then it would have made sense with regards to the final emergency. The husband misplaced the vibrator while he and his wife were in the middle of having sex so there weren’t any implications or references that needed to be explained. She was mortified and he was nervous therefore the emergency was NOT related to either of them having any mixed feelings.

Also, the husband’s conversation with Buck about the article he read regarding 80% of women being unsatisfied by their partners after sex didn’t relate to the episode title either. Buck did the math for all the women he’d been with and after he completed the calculation, it was implied he didn’t satisfy the majority of them and he didn’t have any mixed feelings about it. Actually, he was mortified when he realized the number of women who weren’t satisfied with his “Firehouse” was larger than he expected.

Later in the episode, he was shown calling all the women whose names he could remember asking them if they were satisfied but it was NOT FUNNY and it made him look ridiculous especially since he had just died four episodes earlier which means that should have been the farthest thing from his mind. He upgraded to Buck 3.0 in 4x6 therefore, he shouldn’t be the butt of sex jokes anymore. It appears the show won’t allow him to grow and mature which allows the showrunner to keep making his character regress so his lack of growth shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone.

6x17 “Love is in the Air”

Lucy insinuating, she did more than kiss Buck in 5x11 when she hugged him in front his date was asinine. It was like she was implying they had sex when they didn’t so what was the purpose of this scene and why was it included in the episode?

Also, Taylor referencing her relationship with Buck while she was on TV talking about her raggedy book was trifling. She proved exactly who she was and still is in that scene, someone who will throw anyone underneath the bus if they get in the way of her telling a news story. Why was she brought back? Oh, probably to make Buck look bad again.

Buck pursuing Natalia and going right for the physical when they were in his loft showed him reverting back to Buck 1.0. Him dying and being revived was the opportunity he needed and the audience wanted to see so he could grow but that can’t happen since the showrunner wants to keep portraying him as a sex machine.

Maddie asking Buck why he had a ring cutter and Buck not responding was a reference to him owning one for another type of ring. It was a sex reference and an implication about a specific type of ring men use during sex. Why was he searching for it in his kitchen of all places? This was another example of the egregious way they refer to Buck’s character instead of allowing him to grow.

What was the point of all the implications and references to sex with Buck in this episode? The title only referenced love being in the air for Maddie and Chimney so what was the point of all these scenes?

6x18 “Pay it Forward”

In 6x13, Buck did the math while he was talking to Patty’s husband and he realized he wasn’t as skilled in the bedroom as he thought but the show contradicted itself when he fell back into bed with Natalia at the end of 6x18. It was implied they had sex since she was still at his loft wearing nothing but a shirt. So, what was the goal here? Was it to illustrate how Buck reverted back to the physical when he didn’t want to fix his own life the same way he’s always done even though he wasn’t shown learning how to be better in bed? Was the audience supposed to assume he had changed when he hadn’t? The season ended with him being viewed as Buck 1.0 again especially since his past was referenced earlier in 6x17 so, the goal of all the implications and references to sex is still unclear.

Since the implications and references to sex in the nine episodes listed above weren’t resolved by the end of season 6, it could mean those in charge of the show knew it wasn’t the end even though they wanted the audience to believe they didn’t know. Hopefully whatever the goal was by including these scenes will be resolved in season 7 otherwise, there will be a lot more filler episodes during the upcoming season that won’t make any sense at all.

These are my criticisms regarding implications and references to sex during season 6 and “Constructive Criticisms” #7 will be posted on Monday, July 3, 2023.

I have a total of 15 CANON “Constructive Criticisms” (9 remaining) and my goal is to have all of them posted by Monday, August 28, 2023. The topics are being posted in a specific order that begins with the overall issues for season 6 so they can be referenced within the posts about individual characters and ships that will follow them.

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