#this is so self indulgent toy story 2 is my favorite movie of all time

[chocolatecakecas]

To Infinity and Beyond: baby!Jack truthing Birthday Ficlet

Today already looked like the perfect day. Warm weather, the sun shining, the birds singing, all the usual qualifications for "perfection". And if Dean had anything to say about it, it is also going to be, the perfect day.

Because Dean had planned out everything. Tents and tables spread out in the backyard of their new house, enough hamburgers and hotdogs to feed an army, a giant sheet cake in the freezer, and it looked like a Party City catalogue threw up all over their house, both inside and out. Hell, he and Cas even got a bounce house.

Yup, today was going to be perfect, Dean thought as he surveyed the backyard. He was going to make sure of it, nothing was going to go wro-

"To infinity and beyond!"

And the next thing he knew, he had a recently turned four year old, barreling into his legs almost knocking him off the porch.

(read the rest under the cut)

He looked down to see Jack already dressed in his outfit for the day. A shirt with Buzz Lightyear's costume printed on it, complete with little cardboard Buzz wings (Cas made them), purple shorts with a purple tutu, and of course, his favorite Buzz light-up sneakers.

"I'd say that was a bit of a crash landing there, Mr.Lightyear" Dean laughed, as he bent down to right Jack's scribbled cardboard wings. Jack just ignored his reference, instead letting out an excited shriek as he took in the backyard.

Every tablecloth, plate, napkin, cup, balloon, and cardboard decoration was covered in Toy Story characters.

Toy Story, was the end all be all in their house, because they were Jack's favorite movies. So everything, was 100% Toy Story, 100% of the time, hence the party theme. And his favorite character was Buzz Lightyear, hence the costume.

"Dee where's your costume?" Jack questioned, after he finally recovered from the shock of seeing the, probably, overdecorated backyard.

"Yeah Sheriff Woody, where's your costume? It's almost one thirty" Cas called as he stepped out the backdoor. Cas was already dressed in t-shirt with Jessie's outfit printed on the front, her matching red hat, jeans and of course, cowboy boots which Dea-wait shit they only had a half an hour left.

And he hadn't even double checked th-

"The backyard and inside of the house already look incredible. Go on and get ready before everyone starts arriving" Cas smiled sweetly, knowing how worried Dean was about today.

"I will, after I chec-"

"Dean, I promise, I'll double check all the decorations, and the food. Me and the little space ranger have got it covered, right baby?" Cas supplied, looking fondly over at Jack.

"Yeah me and Da got it! Get dressed Dee" Jack cheered, as hopped down the steps and raced "flew" across the grass cardboard wings flapping behind him.

"Go get changed, cowboy. Everything already looks perfect" Cas teased, pressing a quick peck to Dean's lips. And then he was bounding down the steps towards Jack, warning him not to go near the bounce house.

So Dean reluctantly walked inside, forcing himself to ignore all of the things he wanted to check on, and instead making a beeline for their bedroom. He quickly pulled on his costume, but unlike Jack and Cas it was the real deal, not just a graphic t-shirt, Dean had the actual shirt, the vest, whole nine yards. Jack had asked if Dean would wear a real Woody costume and, hey who was he to deny his kid on his birthday?

So with a sigh, Dean made his way back to the living room so he could reorganize the snack table.

He wanted everything to be perfect today. Perfect for Jack because, this was his first real birthday party after all. And because Dean's oldest memory was of his fourth birthday, his last birthday party actually since it wasn't like they were throwing big family bashes on the road. No, birthdays were a box of cigarettes from his Dad (if he even remembered), or Dean sometimes scraping together enough money to get a cake for Sam's birthday.

Which is why today had to go smoothly. Because Jack deserved the world, he deserved to have a good life filled with memories of big family parties with fun decorations and food and laughter. And Dean could give it to him now, give him what he and Sam never had. So today had to be special, it had-needed to be perfect.

"Dean, I don't think Jack is going to care if the clouds are a little crooked" Cas pointed out, amusement dancing in his voice as he walked into the living room.

Dean huffed a laugh, but didn't stop his mission to straighten out the paper "Andy's Room" clouds taped to the wall above the table. Cas just sighed as he gently pulled his hand away from the wall, turning Dean towards him.

"Dean I know how much you want to make this day absolutely perfect for Jack, believe me I do too. But he's going to love every single second of it. He's practically bouncing off the walls already, and the party hasn't even started yet" Cas assured as he squeezed Dean's hands.

"I know, I know. But he deserves to have the best damn birthday. Especially after everything and he's just- Jack shoul-" Dean started, only to be cut off by the sound of the doorbell.

"It's Uncle Sammy and Aunt Eileen! Can I open the door, please?" Jack called from down the hall, asking for permission.

"Yeah buddy, you're allowed to open the door. Let them in" Dean shouted back, unable to help the smile pulling at his lips when he heard Jack enthusiastically telling them about "all the cool decorations".

"See? Jack is already loving it! Now relax, and enjoy the party, cowboy. Everything is going to be perfect" Cas smiled as he made his way down the hall to greet Sam and Eileen. But not before giving Dean's ass a little smack.

A few hours into the party everything was smooth sailing, and Dean had only been scolded for readjusting some decorations four times. The kids Jack invited from his class were having a great time, as where their parents, which was especially great because not a single one of them managed to see a member of Dean and Cas’ family discreetly place their weapons in the spare bedroom (Dean wasn’t a fool, it was a party full of hunters, he wasn’t just gonna make a no weapons rule because what if something happened?). So then Dean and Eileen manned the grill like champs, Cas and Garth kept an eye on the kiddos in the bounce house, Sam had handled the Buzz Lightyear shaped piñata perfectly, while Dean organized the kids, making sure Jack was the one to break it. The sun stayed shining, the birds kept singing. Everything was perfect.

Until it wasn't.

And it was all Dean’s fault.

Dean's stomach dropped as he stared down at the now smudged faces of Woody, Buzz and half of the green aliens. Because Dean just smooshed the entire left side of the cake while trying to take lid off.

He just destroyed the most important part of the party, the part Jack was most excited about. Now Dean just ruined everythi-

"-come in star command, do you read me?" Cas joked, completely startling Dean, because how long had Cas been standing there?

"Dean, what's wro-oh" Cas sighed as soon as he caught sight of the cake. 

"I friggin smooshed the whole thing with the lid. It's destroyed we can't-the party and Jack and-" Dean rambled, heart pounding against his chest, while Cas took the life from his hands and gently set it on the other side of the counter.

"Dean, stop it's okay breathe for me. It's just the cake. It's not your fault. It's still edible, we can fix this" Cas soothed as softly cupped Dean's cheeks in an attempt to ground him.

"Hey are you guys alri-oh shit" Eileen gasped as she and Sam walked through the kitchen door, which caused Dean’s heart rate to pick up again.

"It's okay, it'll be fine. We can try to scrape some of it back together with a knife" Sam offered, quickly moving Dean and Cas to the side so he could get at the cake.

But it only made the faces look completely unrecognizable.

"Damnit, what are we gonna-"

"Dee! Can we have cake now?" Jack asked as he came racing into the kitchen, and Dean, Cas, Sam and Eileen quickly huddled in front of the counter to hide the cake from sight.

"In a few minutes squish, we're still uh-getting it ready" Dean managed plastering a wide, hopefully convincing smile on his face.

"Why don't you go jump around the bounce house again, buddy?" Sam suggested, which had Jack nearly bolting out of the kitchen again with a nod

"Make sure one of your aunts or uncles, or your friends' parents are watching you!" Cas called after him, which only got a tiny "okay Da" in response.

They all let out a breath when they heard the backdoor slam, and quickly turned to look at the offending cake again.

"It's not that late, what if one of us runs to store and see if they have ano-"

"They won't, we ordered this specia-"

"And there seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere" Claire joked as she entered the kitchen and quickly surveyed the mess before her, eyes widening when she spotted the cake. And Dean normally would have teased her the reference but he was too busy, freaking the fuck out, so he chose to ignore it.

"What do we do? We can't fix this, there's no time it's completely rui-"

"Wait, dude calm down. I have an idea, hold on a minute" Claire proclaimed, and swiftly exited the kitchen, which did pretty much nothing to calm Dean's panic. In fact he was getting desperate.

"Do you think Rowena might have a spell-"

"That's not how magic works. But honestly Dean, I'm sure Jack won't even notice-"

"The kid can recite the entirety of Toy Story 2 from memory and you don't think he's gonna notice Woody is missing his entire head?"

"Alright, start grabbing the Toy Story figures and wash them off. Then we can put them all over the cake instead, and cover up the horrifyingly smeared faces" Claire ordered as she came back into the kitchen with Kaia in tow, and box of Jack's toys in hand.

And Dean could have cried from relief (he did).

"Holy shit Claire you're a genius" Dean praised, as he quickly began sifting through the box.

"I know, I know. Now c'mon, I want cake"

And a few minutes later everyone was gathered around the dining room table, singing a completely off key rendition of Happy Birthday. Jack was seated in the center of it all, with a half smooshed, slightly lopsided, plastic figure covered cake, with Dean and Cas crouching on either side of him. Jack hadn't even commented on the completely smeared face of Woody or Ham, he was just clapping along, bouncing in his seat. In fact, he the biggest smile Dean had ever seen on his face, and he teared up at the sight.

"Blow out the candles and make a wish, baby" Cas encouraged, and Jack attempted to do just that. Only succeeding when Dean secretly helped blow out the candles for him.

"Yay! To infinity and beyond!" Jack shouted again, as he stood up and jumped on his chair. The room easily erupted into laughter, while Charlie and Jody each snapped pictures from across the table.

"Alright Lightyear, let's not fall with style into the already smooshed cake" Dean joked, as he quickly stabilized Jack, which only caused everyone to burst into more laughter.

So, Dean scooped up Jack, sitting in his chair and placing him on his lap, while Sam offered to cut up the cake. And Cas took plopped down in the chair next to them, sliding him and Jack a plate.

"Are you having fun at your birthday party, baby?" Cas questioned as he handed Jack a plastic fork.

"Yeah! Claire jumped in the house with me! And Danny and Sarah and me played in the sandbox! An-and we played tag, and Aunt Donna played too! And the cake has all my friends on it, see!" Jack rushed out all in one breath, stopping to point at the now sliced cake. By "friends" he of course meant his actual Toy Story figures of course. But before Dean could even react to any of that, Cas was whispering in Jack's ear, and pulling away.

"Thank you for all the party things, Dee!" Jack beamed as he turned and threw his arms around Dean's neck.

And Dean's heart clenched as he tightly wrapped his arms around his kid, feeling a tear roll down his cheek. He looked back up to see Cas smiling widely at them, so Dean whispered something in Jack's ear too. And then Jack was off flinging himself around Cas' neck.

"Why doesn't all the family get together, I can take the photos" Marissa, the mom of one of Jack's friends offered.

And soon the three of them were surrounded by their family on all sides. Everyone laughing when Marissa suggested they all say "yeehaw" instead of cheese. Jack giggling when Claire zoomed over, and bent down so she could smoosh their faces together for the obligatory "silly face" picture. Dean quickly swiping icing on both Cas and Jack's noses, causing Cas to tip Dean's cowboy hat and Jack to shove a handful of frosting on Dean's cheek.

So maybe it wasn't the flawless, smooth sailing birthday party Dean had planned. But the weather stayed warm, the sun still shone, the birds still sang. His family laughed, and ate and had a blast.

And Jack looked about as happy as they had ever seen him, as he ran around the yard with his friends and played games with his family. Dean would even go as far to count it as a complete success. Especially since Jack asked Cas, "when can we have a big party again?", as they tucked him into bed later that night.

So as far as Dean is concerned, it was the perfect day.

Tag list:

(please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed!!💛)

@wormstacheangel @smiledean @shelikestv @chaoticdean @midnightwings-deancas @jellydeans @sunshine-jack @archervale @wikiangela @organicpurplepants @you-cant-spell-subtext-without @writtendevastation @tkdwolf2012 @doemons-blog @sinnabonka @rolling-stoned-girl @skylerkernaghan @icefire149

@shadowywerewolfqueen @the-cookie-navy @thelahatiel @thefantasyfiend @castielle-deanna @aestheticflyer26 @multi-fandom-imagine @x-mypeopleskillsarerusty-x @wellofwoes @becky-srs @multi-fandom-dark-lord @perfectkoaladream @castiel-for-lunch @it--hurts--to--become @bowtiesandneckerchiefs

@dakiaty @feraldean @teamfreebees @keshetcas @hrh-princess-bea @martymar1963 @midnight-sparks-studio @slipper007 @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @winchester-novak @lyonessrampant @angelic-bee-enthusiast @nguyenxtrang @idiot-on-the-hill @ethicalbitch @fandoms-and-things @doreschary @confix @milfcodeddean @seraphcastiel @seraphlm

#toy story 2 IS jack's favorite movie i will not be debating this. he is a boy of taste #dean and cas are secretive and dont trust the mail ahshdha #this is so self indulgent toy story 2 is my favorite movie of all time #this is based off when my parents accidentally smooshed half of the cake at my 3rd bday party and did exactly this asfhajdhah #so this is literally just a bunch of toy story references i apologize for nothing i had to hold myself back from making even moRE #de and da supremacy because its both parts of 'daddy' and he started calling them that when he first started to talk but it stuck #also its written from deans pov bc i couldnt write from actual 4 year old jack's pov so i apologize for that #HES FOUR!!!! #baby jack truthing #baby!jack #happy birthday jack!!!! #dean winchester #castiel #sammy #eileen #claire novak #destiel #destiel fic #bec writes #nougatparty #dad!dean #dadstiel #userzaddy #seraphcastiel

[septembercfawkes]

Burritos vs. Sandwiches--er, PLOT vs. STRUCTURE!

Often in the writing world, we lump together plot and structure (#guilty), which makes sense, because they're so intertwined. They're sort of like two peas in a pod. But they are actually two different things, which can be difficult to discern at first when you are learning the craft.

So what is the difference? And why does it matter?

Self, I'm glad you asked that 😉 because that's what I'm going to talk about today.

And I'll be using two of my favorite foods, Mexican food and sandwiches 😋 🤤, to illustrate.

Hopefully you aren't on a diet that restricts those things, if so . . . 😅

At first I was going to refer to Cafe Rio 😍 as an example, but since that is more of a regional thing (proud to say the original started in my hometown ✌️), I decided to go with Chipotle, which is at least across the U.S. . . . I think.

Anyway, plot vs. structure, Chipotle food. Let's do this.

When you go to Chipotle, you mostly have four options: burrito, taco, salad, or what they call, a burrito bowl (basically the burrito without the tortilla).

But what some of my family members occasionally laugh about is that it's all the same food. You're just picking how you want to deliver that food to your mouth.

Meaning, whether you get a salad, burrito, taco, or a bowl, you have the same food options.

I could choose chicken and black beans and then choose whether I want it in a salad, burrito, taco, or bowl. What goes in each is all the same.

This is a good example of taking a plot and structuring it.

Plot = the actual content of the story. Plot is the events, usually brought on by cause and effect, that make up the narrative. It's what happens. It's the chicken, beans, rice, and lettuce (and salsa and sour cream and . . . you get the idea).

Structure = how it is delivered to the audience. Structure is which content goes where and in what order. If I'm getting a salad, the lettuce is put in the bowl first. If I'm getting a burrito bowl, the meat and beans and rice are put in first.

In most stories, plot and structure will fit together in rather straightforward ways. For example, the majority of stories are told in a linear timeline.

But not all stories.

Some stories take place in multiple timelines, some jump all over in time (The Prestige & The Time Traveler's Wife), and some even play with the passage and delivery of time to the audience (Arrival).

In this sense, the plot is structured in a way that is not the linear order. The delivery to the audience is different than the basic cause and effect the characters are experiencing.

But September! (you lament.) What about all those story structures we've been learning about?

Well, yes, don't worry, we are going to touch on those too. It's sort of like learning about light. You can view it as a wavelength, or you can view it as a particle. They are both correct. (And it's helpful to have both.)

But the Mexican food point is, the plot is the ingredients and the structure is the delivery method. You can fit the ingredients into a structure.

K, I'll come back to that in a second. Let's talk about sandwiches.

How do we define a sandwich? Okay, well, let's not get crazy, because if we get out into the weeds, it can actually be difficult to define (I do often prefer open-faced sandwiches for one), but for the sake of this post, let's just say it's two sides of something (usually bread), and a middle or filling.

So you can have a ham sandwich, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a tuna sandwich, a panini, an ice cream sandwich, maybe an oreo, and heck, why not include those little peanut butter and honey cracker sandwiches I made as a kid?

For the point of this discussion, those are all sandwiches.

But they can each have very different ingredients. A ham sandwich vs. an ice cream sandwich? Totally different!

This is sort of like taking a structure and fitting in a plot. (Similar, yet reverse of the previous example.)

You can make any sandwich you want. But it needs to have two sides and a filling to be a sandwich.

Okay, it's important to not get too deep into this figuratively, because these metaphors are imperfect, and I don't want us to confuse ourselves.

The main point is, on the one hand, you can have a plot and structure it differently.

And on the other hand, you can have a structure that you fill in with a plot.

In either case, it's important to understand structure, because that's how the audience is going to have the plot delivered to them in a satisfying way.

I mean, you wouldn't want to make a peanut butter sandwich for someone with the peanut butter on the outside of the bread, would you? (Well, okay, maybe if it was your enemy 😈)

But let's look at some Chipotle examples first (wavelength vs. particle, remember?).

As I've been studying structure over the last year or two, one thing that has been interesting to me to consider is that while The Hunger Games book and The Hunger Games movie have essentially identical plots, they are actually structured differently.

Sure, some content is obviously different, like we get some scenes in the movie that we couldn't have in a first person POV, and the book is more graphic and Katniss a bit less of a hero in it.

But the events are by and large the same. And they are even both linear. They have the same plot.

Nonetheless the same events are structured slightly differently.

The biggest, most obvious example of this is the midpoint (which happens right in the middle of a story). In the book, the midpoint is when the Careers chase Katniss up a tree, she drops the wasp nest on them, and Peeta saves her (she shifts from responding --> action).

But because film is different than books, filmmakers had to shift the story a bit (which I'll talk about in a sec), which would have made that part in the story come too late as a midpoint. So instead, they structured the cornucopia blood bath as the midpoint of the story. Prior to that point, Katniss is responding and preparing for the Games, but after that point, she's actually active in the Games.

Same ingredients. Different delivery methods.

The book puts the emphasis on Katniss going active in a more personal sense.

The film puts the emphasis on Katniss going active in a more external sense.

And if you think about it, it's not too surprising, because books better explore the internal while film better explores the external.

But anyway! There are other shifts as well. . . .

For example, in the book the inciting incident actually occurs about 5% into the story, while in the film, it hits later (though the events are the same).

Part of this is simply adjusting to film. In the book, Katniss can relay a lot about the world to the audience in shorter space than the film can. (On the other hand, the book can be longer than a film.)

I could go into a bigger, longer explanation of all this (and am tempted to), but I want to try to keep these concepts simple, the point being that while the events are largely the same, the film had to structure the plot slightly differently.

Which can work, because as I've explained before--structural components are relative. (They have to be, because structure isn't plot.) For example, the inciting incident shifts the protagonist into a new direction--"new" compared to what came before.

Okay, but let's not get too complex! I'm sure I'm losing some people. Stick with me!

Let's look at another example that may be more obvious. Splitting one book into two films.

If you watch Mockingjay, Part 1, it more or less has the same plot as the first part of the Mockingjay book.

However, filmmakers still had to structure it as a complete film.

Remember, plot and structure are different.

Same ingredients.

Different delivery methods.

Some of the ways the filmmakers did this, is . . .

- They made the missile attack the climactic moment of the middle (Act II)

- They made the scene in the bunker and the following scene when Katniss is on camera the subsequent lull, or "All is Lost" moment. (Katniss realizes that Snow is just going to keep toying with her as long as he has Peeta.)

- They made retrieving Peeta and the other tributes the climax of the story.

Just to name a few. (In comparison, retrieving Peeta is structured more or less as the midpoint of the book, meaning they retrieve him, he's been hijacked, which pushes Katniss to go to District 2 and become more obsessive with killing President Snow. Aka, she becomes more proactive.).  

They took the same ingredients and structured them into a different delivery.

My next question to you is, is Mockingjay, Part 1 as satisfying as the prior films?

No, because it's only half the plot, pushed into a complete structure.

This isn't to say that it's bad by any means. I mean, if you are going to split a story in half, I feel like they did the best that could be done, probably.

But it's not as satisfying on its own.

So while structure is relative, at the same time, some "ingredients" work better in certain places than other ingredients.

I mean, was retrieving Peeta really as powerful as any of the other films' climaxes? No, because other than Katniss trying to pacify Snow through a phone call, the heroes are met with no resistance.

When structuring a story, some content works better at parts than other content.

The ingredients in a sandwich can make all the difference. I mean, even a cheddar cheese sandwich is different than a blue cheese sandwich. What kind of experience do you want to create?

Maybe consider what your audience ordered. If they wanted something sweet and indulgent, maybe give them the ice cream sandwich and not the tuna one.

Ingredients matter and make a difference.

This is a point where some writers get confused once they fully grasp structure. They may learn the Hero's Journey structure and think, This is the answer to all my problems! Everything I write now will be amazing!!

While it's true a solid structure can be 💯 amazing and do wonders (seriously). It's not everything. Which is why sometimes it can be frustrating when a writer understands a structure, but doesn't nail the plot.

Just as structure changes the experience of Mexican food, ingredients change the experience of sandwiches.

If structure is relative, what ingredients do you use where?  

What ingredients do you use, period?

Obviously it's helpful to take into consideration who the audience is (like I mentioned)--is it just you? Your friends? Readers on Amazon?

It's helpful to consider the genre too. Is this romance? Horror? Mystery? Fantasy?

What kind of conventions and scenes are expected or obligatory? What tropes are common in the genre? How will you address or twist those things?

And just as you can take your plot, and structure it for a better experience, you can also take structure and use it to better your plot. (Remember: wavelengths vs. particles)

After all, few people want the peanut butter on the outside of their peanut butter sandwich. There is a structure the audience is expecting the ingredients to follow, even if they aren't aware they have those expectations.

We decided for a sandwich to be a sandwich, it needed to have two sides of something and a middle or filling.

We probably have some idea on the ingredients we are going to use based on the sort of story we want to tell.

Let's make this a deli sandwich (more options). (Deli = genre)

I know I want to start my sandwich with wheat bread. What's next? Meat, lettuce, mayo, then pickles and tomatoes? Maybe that's not necessarily a "wrong" order, but most of the time, people are expecting mayo to come first. We grab the bread, spread the mayo on. From there, usually the pickles and tomatoes go next.

I know some people are going to disagree with me on that order--but I mean, it's a metaphor, and you get the point I'm trying to illustrate, right? I hope?

We might not necessarily know what condiment we want to use once we pull out our bread, but we know that it's the next step. So we ask, do I want mayo? Mustard? Ketchup? Miracle whip? Ranch? Hot sauce? BBQ? Peanut butter? Honey?

Well, as you might notice--some of those condiments don't typically go well with making a deli sandwich.  

Some ingredients work better than other ingredients.

And I guess you could try to skip the condiment altogether, but if you make a deli sandwich without any condiment, it's usually dry--not a satisfying experience.

So as you work with a structure in mind, it helps feed into the plot--the events that take place and move the story forward (to the next ingredient).

Say you know your inciting incident. If you are familiar with structure, you'll also know what sorts of things need to take place right after it. Typically, this is where the protagonist really reacts. When you know that structure, you'll be able to pause and think, Which reaction do I want to plug into this spot? Which reaction is best for the story I want to tell?

Makes sense? Or clear as mud?

🤦‍♀️ Structure is so difficult to grasp and "see" when you are learning, so if you don't understand everything in here yet, that's fine. Doesn't hurt to be introduced to some of the concepts though (as long as you don't let frustration take root). Like a lot of people, one day it will start to click.

At least take away these points.

Plot and structure are like Mexican food: You can take the same ingredients(plot) and structure them differently.

But plot and structure are also like sandwiches: You can fit whatever ingredients(plot) to make up the structure.

Some ingredients are more satisfying than others. And some ingredients are more satisfying in certain places than others.

And that's the simplest takeaway.

Anyone want a burrito? 🌯

#writing tips #writing tips and tricks #writeblr #nanowrimo #plot #structure #writing help #writing reference

[recurring-polynya]

Ssusbssiwbwowj I loved tattoo artist Renji, thank you so much for fueling my hyperfixatation 😫👌🏼 what are some other RenRuki au’s/scenarios you’d love to see?

Ahh, thank you so much! I liked the Tattoo Artist AU a lot, too, and I have been toying with the idea of continuing it. It was kinda hard to write, tho (I’m not sure why, aside from the fact that everything is hard to write these days), and I would have to make An Outline, so I dunno. We’ll see.

Gosh, AUs *I’d* like to see? It’s kinda hard because I am a writer, so if I really wanted to see one, I would just...write it?

Here are a few that I would like to see, but can’t write, for whatever reason:

Cop AU. Please, I just want them to drive around in a cop car at top speed together and go on stakeouts and drink coffee at 2am and solve mysteries and Have Each Other’s Backs. Give me Police Captain Byakuya pounding his fist on his desk when he yells at them. I hate cops tho, so I would never.

PacRim AU. Oh God, they were drift compatible! I did write a little drabble of a PacRim AU once. I love PacRim, but there is just no way I’m going to get into it deep enough to feel confident writing in the world. I really really like the GrimmIchi PacRim AU Dark Was the Night by @sayhitofoever which has RenRuki as background copilots, although obviously I would love one where the focus was on them. Golly, I love the word “Shatterdome.”

Abhorsen AU, based on the Garth Nix books. I started this (you can read it here) and intended to re-read Sabriel, which is one of my favorite books and I just... couldn’t get into it? I’m having a lot of trouble reading lately because my brain is bad. Anyway I love this AU, but there’s no way I am ever going to finish it.

Amatuer Hockey AU. Another one I started, like 2 years ago and stalled out on. I play hockey myself (or I did before the pandemic anyway) and it was just an incredibly self-indulgent thing. Should I post it? I have a solid first chapter written. I could post it.

Jane Austen AU. This is very specific, but what I want is a Chad/Uryuu Emma/Persuasion mashup where Uryuu tries to meddle in his friends ‘ romantic lives and Renruki and Ichihime are his unwilling victims, and Chad is sort of a dreamy Mr. Knightly character, but less patronizing. Everyone wears cravats. Renji is a sea captain, this is non-negotiable. I absolutely do not know enough about Regency England to write this.

A continuation of not one step, an Edo-era AU that @gizkasparadise wrote. I mean, she’s not gonna write more of it, she has far better things to do with her time, but like... in a genie granting me wishes situation, I would like a big, fat novel worth of this.

I also love every and any AU that makes one small change to canon and examines the ripples outward, this is probably my favorite thing in the world, because it examines the girders and pivots of the source material. Unfortunately, a lot of these turn out to be deeply uncreative, and it’s just “canon but the way the author thinks it would be better.” Great authors know that worse is always a much better story. Anyway, one I think about a lot is one where Renji quits the Academy to join the Kuchiki House guard so he can be close to Rukia, but I can’t figure out how to make a story out of it.

I whined about wanting a Hallmark Christmas movie Renruki AU and @thegreenfaery just... wrote one for me??? Can you imagine? She also wrote me this 80′s Wedding AU that I am deeply, deeply in love with. Anyway, she’s my favorite, I love all her stuff, as a fandom, she is our Best AU Writer (even if she’s really a ByaHisa writer, I am claiming her)

To be honest, the thing about AUs I just love to see what people do with them, and which characters they stick in which role, and what things they keep the same as in canon, and what is wildly different, etc. It’s more like I enjoy AUs on a meta level, more than I crave any particular AU.

Maybe it’s also that we don’t really have a critical mass of Renruki writers at the moment, that we don’t really get a lot of Renruki-centric AUs, but I read a lot of other AUs, hoping they will make appearances as side characters. There are a couple of those I really, really like:

Demon in the Rough by @murderlight is a GrimmIchi Spirit Society AU and I am obsessed with whatever is going on between Renji and Rukia in it (they clearly had some falling out prior to the action of the story, which Ichigo is also trying to figure out). Overall, it is a tiny part of the plot, but it’s fine, because the rest of the story is delightful. Unohana is a horrifying murder spider and Grimmjow has a pair of giant magical hands that follow him around, everything about this story is great.

Not So Easy A by apearlinmyhead is a GrimmIchi college AU. On the surface, College AUs are one of the least interesting ideas to me, but the characterizations and dialogue are so much fun, that, like I said, it’s really more about what the author does with it than the core of the idea itself. Renji and Rukia play the classic RomCom role of Lead’s Best Friends, and they make a bunch of dick jokes and drink boxed wine and go to the diner in the middle of the night and this is really what I want out of an AU anyway.

To make a long story short, I just really like the concept of AUs and I wish our fandom had more of a critical mass of writers, so we got more of them. Probably the only kind of AU I do not like are the “soulmates” ones, where there is some thing (a red string, a tattoo, etc) that indicates when people are “soulmates,” because I reject the notion that everyone has some pre-destined perfect person for them. If someone wrote a Renruki one, I would still lose my mind over it, tho.

#renruki #wacky au requests #i also do not like vampires i forgot that #vampire hunters is okay #but not vampires i do not vibe with vampires

[aforrestofstuff]

What do you think the OPM characters' guilty pleasures would be? I feel like Tatsu loves soap operas and Atomic Samurai secretly loves a really popular boy band, like SMAP

Thanks for your request, anon! Sorry this took me so long to get to, you were buried in my inbox lol. But I hope this was worth the wait because oh boy this required all 3 of my brain cells.

Tornado of Terror: As you said, soap operas. She also loves candy apples in canon. But...she also is a HUGE fan of those really cheesy Cosmopolitan magazines that have all of the personality quizzes and the “which hot male celeb would date you” scenarios. She doesn’t fall for it one bit. In fact, she hate reads those fuckers in the same way that people pay to go see bad movies. It’s fun.

Silverfang: Yoga and following along to some cheesy-ass 80s workout videos. I’ve said he likes yoga in a previous headcanon, but he also likes to exercise along to some obnoxious 80s pop while some dude in a leotard instructs him on what to do from a TV screen. He wears sweatbands and legwarmers, too. The whole shebang. He only does it when he’s alone, though. Sometimes he’ll try to teach yoga to his disciples as a way to help them decompress after a long training session, but his workout tapes are his best-kept secret.

Atomic Samurai: I don’t know what a SMAP is, but he’s definitely got some questionable music choices going on considering he’s... well, the way that he is. I’d say he likes to listen to old country, like Marty Robbins and Glen Campbell. It’s really funny because you’ve got this intimidating man from Japan (or a fictional universe basically set in Japan) with a badass katana and shit but inside that empty head of his, there’s just a faint “out in the west Texas town of El Paso....”

Child Emperor: Picking at scabs. He’s often on his knees fixing shit in his lab, and he probably gets burned all the damn time from playing around with lasers so he’s undoubtedly always has a wound healing somewhere. Whenever he’s working on something, he’ll just absentmindedly pick at his scabs. It’s a bad habit and he knows it, but nothing beats the feeling of peeling off an entire patch of that shit. So satisfying.

Metal Knight: Buying books. He doesn’t even read them. He just buys bigass novels with smart-sounding names to fill up his library because he thinks it’ll make his dick grow another three inches or some shit. One of the few things he likes in this world (besides homicide) is the smell of a new book. If he’s feeling particularly pissy, he’ll go into his library and just ssssssnnnnnnnnnniififfffffffffff. He spends an outrageous amount of money on it. If he has anyone over (which is unlikely, but hypothetically speaking) and they mention his library by asking something like “have you read all of these?” It’ll be one of the few times in his life that he’ll feel shame.

King: Reading and writing fanfiction based on his favorite video game/anime series. Nobody knows he does this except his small following online, of course. And even more so, nobody online knows he’s an ultra-popular S-Class hero who’s friends with the most powerful man on earth. He’s actually a pretty decent writer, he just doesn’t take himself too seriously so the plotline to his stories tend to get a little haywire and overly self-indulgent. Let him have his fun. He just wants to be a Sailor Scout.

Zombieman: Singing. He actually used to be a good singer (he sounded like a discount Steve Perry back in the day), but constant smoking really fucked up his voice. He might as well have lungs the size of grapes because he can’t carry a note for more than 2 seconds without wheezing like an accordion with asthma. He’s never sang in front of anyone before because he thinks it’s silly thing that isn’t worth showing off. Play anything from The Eagles though, and he’ll have a hard time resisting.

Drive Knight: He likes to open up panels in his arms and legs to play with the wires (basically a robot’s version of nerve endings, I’m assuming) just so he can feel something. It’s kind of sad because he doesn’t experience pain or the cold or being tickled... (I know what y’all are thinking and you’d better STOP). So he sometimes takes it upon himself to dick around with his insides and dip his toe into what it feels like to be human, even if it’s just for a little bit. He’s super secretive about it (he’s just secretive about everything, really) because he doesn’t want anyone to know that he desires something outside of being a weapon of mass destruction justice.

Pig God: His whole schtick is basically indulging in a guilty pleasure — pigging out on delicious food with no regard whatsoever for one’s overall health. Other than that, however, he does like to collect body pillows. There, I said it. All he fucking does is eat and he’s too much of a big boi to be going out 24/7, so he’s gotta be on the internet/watching anime/playing video games/reading manga during all of that downtime between his stints of doing hero work. His bed is fucking ginormous to handle all of that big boy-ness and on it, he has his body pillow nest. He rests on a throne made for kings. A true icon.

Superalloy Darkshine: Also working out along to some cheesy 80s exercise videos. His hero outfit was inspired from what those ravishing instructors would wear on the television. Well, it was supposed to be a full leotard but it ripped every time he flexed just a tiny bit so the speedo is the only thing that’s left. He’s gotta hella rhythm and keeps up with the music using little to no effort. Although, he can’t go too hard because he’s also a big boi and he’ll literally shake the entire building if he gets too turnt up. Dance muscle boy, dance.

Watchdog Man: Eating too many dog treats lol. Sometimes while he’s stationed on his little podium thing, visitors will leave him little offerings like dog treats and other miscellaneous food items/toys. He never takes them or eats them in front of people, but he often brings everything home with him after a long day just to gobble that shit up. He’s gained a little weight since he started doing it but you can’t even notice it because his suit is hella bulky. Some of it is due in part to stress-eating because being a dog and dude at the same time is hectic, but it’s honest work.

Flashy Flash: Racing shit. Whenever he’s on his travels during, say, assassination missions or hero work, he gets hella bored really quickly. So, to help with this, he’ll often race birds or planes flying in the sky on his way to his destination to see who’s quicker (it’s always him). Sometimes he’ll even play catch with himself by throwing a pine cone or something and running to the place he guesses it’ll land before it even touches the ground. He just does a ton of weird speedster shit whenever he’s bored and he’ll deny it if anyone asks.

Genos: Purposefully putting a little bit too much oil on his joints after each upgrade so he’ll be as slick as a salamander. It’s a really funny feeling to be able to move your limbs with little to no resistance without having to worry about popping or breaking anything. It just makes him feel so agile despite being like, a hunk of actual metal. If he wasn’t so uptight, he would loosen the screws in his fingers to he can bend them almost all the way back (he’s actually thought about it a few times), but both Dr. Kuseno and his 3 remaining braincells attested to that. He just likes to tinker around with his body and see what weird shit he can do. It’s a bad habit because it’s led to a few things being broken on multiple occasions.

Metal Bat: Zenko’s shitty pop music. Whenever he drops her off at school or piano practice, he’ll immediately go home and blast that shit on full volume (because he’s practically deaf from always jumping out of falling buildings and continuously blasting music in his earbuds) while doing chores and the like. He’s one of those people that HAVE to have something going on in the background as they’re getting shit done. He’d rather be caught dead than listening to the OPM equivalent of Taylor Swift because he knows Zenko would never let him live it down.

Tanktop Master: Wearing suits around the house when he’s not even going anywhere. He’s got to wear his tanktop 24/7 whenever he’s in public to keep up The Image (which he has no problem with, he genuinely loves the tanktop ideology) but he also needs to feel fancy every once and a while. So, if he happens to have the time while in between appearances, he’ll prance around in a suit tailored just for him. Because he’s so fucking huge that he had to pay someone a large sum to custom make an outfit that actually fits. He is 7-motherfucking-feet tall. 7.

Puri-Puri Prisoner: Making Valentine’s Day cards all times of the year. Listen, it gets boring as hell in prison. Sometimes the guards will let all of the inmates have a little glitter and glue to keep themselves busy because no harm can come of a little arts and crafts, right? He likes to make cards on the daily just to let all of his lovers know how much he appreciates them. If they express even the slightest amount of disdain for his creations, he’ll spent the next week crying in the darkest corner of his cell block. He also likes origami. Origami is huge in prison because it’s hella time-consuming and guaranteed to calm a busy mind. His favorite things to make are little unicorns.

Amai Mask: Bath bombs. There have been several mishaps in which he’s used a poorly-made bath bomb and came out of the tub looking like Shrek but he’s grown and lot since then, okay? After a long day or a particularly stressful concert, he’ll sink into some hot water and drop a ball of lavender-scented goodness in there. It’s become a bit of an addiction because he’s got multiple cabinets dedicated solely to his collection, but at least he always smells divine.

Iaian: Shakespearean dramas. Kama got him hooked on theater shit and he’s since ripped through all of the most well-known plays. He thinks in iambic pentameter. It wasn’t always noticeable since he’s a quiet, well-reserved guy but his fellow disciples and Kami have recently noticed that he’s developed a bit of a dramatic flair. Even worse, he’s started calling himself a knight whenever he puts on his armor. Everyone prays it’s just a phase but seeing as how stubborn Iaian is, that seeks highly unlikely. Kami is dying inside because he can’t handle another drama nerd.

Okamaitachi: Soap operas, like Tatsumaki. Kama is the most dramatic out of all of the disciples so it’s only natural that she’d like the most dramatic genre of any show out there. She doesn’t exactly watch them religiously though. She’s the type of viewer to drop off the face of the earth for three seasons and come back without knowing what the fuck is going on (because the disciples have limited access to cable due to Kami’s dumbassery and ignorance to anything technology-related), but still cry during the finale anyway because oh no these people are so hot and one of them is deaaaaaad and the other one is that person’s long-lost sister....

Bushidrill: Taking alcohol from Atomic Samurai’s stash every so often. Bushidrill knows what the good shit is and he could buy it himself if he wanted to, but why would he when there’s a perfectly good alcoholic to steal from living right down the hall? He only takes in small doses because, believe it or not—he’s smart, but Kami isn’t gonna notice regardless of whether or not Bushi takes 1 or 5 bottles at a time because the old shit couldn’t spot a purple raccoon if it was 3 feet in front of him. There have been times where Bushi has opened bottles of Kami’s alcohol right in front of him just to play God and he always, without missing a beat, says “Oh, we have the same taste. How neat.”

Fubuki: I’ve said this before in a previous headcanon, but she has a mild obsession with Victorian aesthetic. She’s got a small collection of semi-authentic ballgowns that cost upwards of a-fuckton-of-money each, but anything’s worth it to be able to play dress-up with Lily. Fubuki’s favorite thing is making Lily feel beautiful because everyone has been an insecure teenager at one point and she knows how it feels to not be comfortable in one’s own skin. This isn’t exactly a guilty pleasure because she’s not guilty about it, but it’s almost gotten to a point where an intervention is needed. She’s got so many damn dresses and sooooo much fine china....

Saitama: Retail therapy, lol. Saitama is only good at budgeting because he has no choice given how fucking poor he is, but give this boy even a little bit of leeway and he’ll buy the ugliest clothes (to which he thinks look poppin’) and the best meats without even batting an eye. His entire manga collection is the product of him having little to no self control the moment he realizes he’s got a bit of money to spend on himself. This is also the only time he’ll experiment with cooking because now he can actually afford to fuck up, literally.

Mumen Rider: Sweets! I’ve said this in a previous hc but he has a major sweet tooth. You can substitute salt for sugar in any given recipe and he’ll see it as a major improvement because he just goes absolutely buckwild for anything sweet. His pancreas is suffering, but he believes nothing feels better than curling up under the covers on a rainy day with a heaping helping of milk chocolate. The only thing that makes him feel better after getting beat to shit is a kiss on the cheek and box of his favorite cookies (and some bananas, lol).

Sonic: Like Flash, he also likes racing things. But, in addition to that, his guilty pleasure is doing his own hair in elaborate hairstyles (when it was longer). He’s pretty much homeless so he’s got a lot of time to himself in between murders. This is when you can find him sitting in the woods somewhere braiding flowers into his hair and tying it off with a moss ribbon. He’d never admit he does this because he’s a big macho man and he’d probably cry.

Garou: Spicy chips. I’ve said this before in a previous hc, but he absolutely inhales his food without even tasting it half the time so it’s not even like he gets to enjoy the flavor that much. He just likes the burn because he’s a shithead. He also doesn’t fear death or a torn-up asshole, so he’ll eat an entire family-sized bag of the OPM-universe equivalent to Takis without even batting an eye. He’s been beat to shit so many times that the agony that comes with downing so much spice is lost on him. He doesn’t even need water. It’s insane. Someone stop this madman at once.

#one punch man #opm #tatsumaki #silverfang #atomic samurai #child emperor #metal knight #headcanon #opm headcanons #king #zombieman #drive knight #pig god #superalloy darkshine #watchdog man #flashy flash #metal bat #genos #puri puri prisoner #tanktop master #amai mask #iaian #bushidrill #okamaitachi #garou #saitama #fubuki #mumen rider #speed of sound sonic #asks

[makeyourownmyth]

best seen in 2020.

My usual caveats from previous years are still applicable here: I don’t watch most of the major nominations the years they come out, and I’m usually not much for theaters and/or current TV. However, due to the pandemic, we watched a loooooooot of content. Here’s just a list of movies that I watched or rewatched this year, that were neither terrible, nor great, but I want to make note of:

Toy Story 4, The Brothers Bloom, Happiest Season, The Peanut Butter Falcon, Moana, Mr. Right, Moulin Rouge, Ocean’s Eleven, Spring Breakers, X-Men: Dark Phoenix (this might have been the worst movie I watched this year?), Widows, Gattaca, Black Klansman, Primer, It 2, Shazam (this maybe should have gone on the Honorable Mentions - it was fun), Training Day, Parasite (OK, now I have to update my Honorable Mentions), The Green Book, Strange Days, Elf, Love & Basketball, Above the Rim, Coach Carter.

That being said, there was some bad stuff, and I try not to shit on any artist’s creations too much, because I know no one sets out to make something bad, but these didn’t work for me. 

Anti

Uncut Gems - It’s not that it was BAD, it was just too stressful for me to enjoy.

Brick - It wasn’t even close to enjoyable on a rewatch that I encouraged my partner to take on for the first time. I felt bad. 

Hereditary - Neither a scary movie, nor a good movie.  

The Witch - Same, but maybe better made?

Under The Skin - Jesus, this was terrible. Maybe I’m not artsy enough to get it?

Now, however, let’s get to the good stuff. 

Honorable Mention TV

Avatar - I can’t legitimately put it on the Best Of list, because I’m not done yet, but I’m on Book 3, after finally actually getting started. I think I tried to start this in 2016, and i know all my nerd friends have been yelling at me for a long time because I haven’t gotten to it yet, and as someone who’s almost done, I can say: they were right! It’s great. 

Ozark - S1 was great. It fell off a fucking CLIFF after that. Ignore people who tell you that you HAVE to watch this. They’re wrong. It’s fine. 

The Last Dance - I know the world is obsessed with Michael Jordan, and I’m glad it came out when it did, but really, all it did for me was confirm that he’s an asshole who was very fortunate to play when he did. And also that the Bulls were fucking phenomenal. 

His Dark Materials - Neither as bad as some of my friends think, nor nearly as good as the books (obviously) but also not good enough that I’ve even started S2 yet, so....I guess it’s fine? 

The Mandalorian S2 - I think they know what they’re doing, and it’s super enjoyable, and I loved the ending, but I’m also curious as to where they’re going now. 

Fargo S3 - Given how good the rest of the series is (other than my distaste for S2, dealt with below, and out of step with pop culture) I thought this one was a misstep, 

Orphan Black - I cannot believe how late I was to this, and how good it still was. It really fell apart toward the end, but the acting was incredible, and the fact that they got to tell the story they wanted to was amazing. 

Best TV

7. All the Smoke with Kobe (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3R3KIyEgCgc) - Maybe it was just his death, but it hits hard, and I miss him. Does this even count as TV? 

6. Looking for Alaska - It felt like gratuitous masochism to watch this and enjoy it, being 20 years older than when I fell for it, and feeling ashamed of the young person I was, but even knowing what was coming, I was weeping when it happened. Even knowing that they were ultimately going on a fruitless search and yelling at the TV while the Colonel and Pudge were searching for “signs” and hating them for it, I remember feeling like everything HAD to happen for a reason when I was this young... So yeah. It’s pure nostalgia for me. I’d be super interesting in hearing how kids responded to it. 

5. Locke and Key - I get that some people feel like they don’t need old shit in a new medium, but for me, I’m always up to try it out. If it’s fun, I’ll stick with it. And this is. It’s fun, it’s got some of the old shit, it’s got some new shit, and it’s a treat to see my favorite comic of the last decade in a new medium. Haters need a new bit. 

Fargo s1 and s4 (I didn’t love S3) - I know that I’m in the minority here, but I think 1 and 4 are the best and 2 was good, and 3 was fine. I literally watched all of this show this year, though, so I didn’t have the same time to digest as others. But I think that’s a benefit in some regards? 

4. Magicians s5 - One of the saddest conversations of the last year to two was when a nerd friend of mine said he didn’t like The Magicians because all of the characters were whiny and self-indulgent. For me, that was almost literally the point: they shoved Q into the corner and told the story of the others (at least one episode quite self-referentially so) and it was so much better for that. I wish it hadn’t ended, but I’m glad they left it where they did, because it was so good.  

3. Devs esp. The beginning of e5 - Jesus. The show of the year? Except for the fact that Watchmen came out at the tail end of last year, and I didn’t have it on my 2019 list? I mean, honestly, is there a show more tailored to me? I’m not gonna get into any spoilers, but it’s a quick watch, and it’s fucking fantastic. Watch it, have your mind blown by the concept, especially in the beginning sequence of E5, and then stick around for the subpar ending where basically all of the threads are resolved in the least good way. 

2. Watchmen - This deserves multiple re-watches and all the praise that people heaped upon it. 

1. The Good Place - I know, objectively, that Watchmen was a better show than The Good Place. But this is my list, and I’ll be damned if anything overtakes my favorite sitcom (maybe of all time?) for best of the year. I know it barely just ended this year, and there’s plenty of acclaim to go around for this show, but honestly, every time I talk to anyone about it, it feels like they kind of laugh it off. This show is not only worth your time, but should almost be considered must-watch material. If more people watched this show, we wouldn’t need the insult “sophomoric” to describe people who’ve just had their minds blown by Philosophy 101, and we’d be better off as a species. 

Honorable Mention Movies

In this order, and you can take the comedies and make them the only honorable mentions, if you’d like to make a nice, even top 10. (Until I saw Tenet the night before I posted this.( (And then I looked back at the playing cards that we use to randomly choose movies and I found that I needed to modify the Honorable Mentions and the Best Of lists.) 

21 and 22 Jump Street - In general, I’m not a fan of comedies. So I’m happy I watched these, thanks to Nathan Zed, and they’re funny. Good work guys. 

Palm Springs - Apparently there’s now backlash against Groundhog Day? I dunno, man, it was fun, and all the actors seemed like they were having a good time, and I was down for it. 

Parasite - I can’t add anything to this that hasn’t already been shouted from the rooftops, so let me just briefly say that I thought it was great, but it didn’t quite make the list of best. The combo of genres was great, the cast was fantastic, but what I loved the most about it was how quiet it was.

Best Movies

10. Blinded by the Light - Way more resonant than I thought it’d be from the previews, and I already thought it was gonna be stellar. I didn’t take into account TIME along with place, and that made a hell of a difference for this movie. 

9. Shoplifters - Yeesh. What a tough watch, but so good, and so necessary. For me, I think we watched it back to back to back with Parasite and I, Tonya, and this one just stood out so much more. The storyline was softer all the way through, but really had gravitas simultaneously. 

8. Tenet - It was fucking fun! I don’t get the hate! I liked it, I’ll like it more next time I see it, and I wish I’d seen it on the big screen, but I’m super glad I could see it on my TV! 

7. I, Tonya - Geez, what a powerhouse of acting. Not only did they get me to feel good about the villain of my childhood, they got me to feel good about Margot Robbie, who I’d only thought of as a hot lady before. Superb acting from everyone else, too, and what a great pick up to be like, yeah, this is the story we’re gonna tell. 

6. I Am Not Your Negro - I avoided watching it for so long because I was already depressed this year, and I didn’t think I needed any more of that, but it turns out I did, and I always do, from Baldwin. He’s a master for a reason. 

5. Hamilton - I know there was some backlash with the time difference, and I’m sure it was better to see it pre-2016 in the theater, where it’s meant to be seen, but I’m not a billionaire New Yorker, and I was plenty happy to see it when and where I could. 

4. Won’t You Be My Neighbor - I mean...what do you think? It’s so much exactly what you’re thinking it is, but then it’s even better, because it’s the real deal, and he was so good, and it’s so pure. Watch it. 

3. Her Smell - Elizabeth Moss has already gotten all the acclaim, but to play this different of a role, in a movie that felt as stressful as Uncut Gems, but pulled off an actual plot so much more successfully? I can’t believe this one didn’t get more pub, but then again, yes I can: it’s a movie about a girl band that rages against the machine, and she’s got severe issues. Small surprise that the people didn’t react well. Seek this one out! 

2. Arrival - Yes, I am going to totally cheat and put a movie that’s appeared on my list (sooooo long ago) as the #2 entry this year. You know why? Cuz fuck 2020, and this is a great movie, and it’s the movie that made me feel second best this year. It’s incredible, and I know people appreciated it in its time, but I feel like they should appreciate it even more. 

1. Moonlight - It’s not a shock, nor am I trying to appease anyone with anything. It’s just that I finally watched it, and it’s the best movie I saw this year. I don’t think I could possibly add anything to the authentic critics who have already heaped praise upon it, but I do have to say that it’s all due, and so much more. The acting obviously stands out, but the direction, from the color palettes, to the choice of when and where (and how) to break it up, are all masterful choices.  

#moonlight #2020 #eoy #best of lists #movies and tv #arrival #her smell #the good place #watchmen #devs

[johannadc]

Thank you for tagging me @vulpesmellifera ! I’m honored although I feel like a fraud doing this, given my fic writing career of all of six months, but when someone stumbles across this in the future, we can have a good laugh. Or, as I learned from Remington Steele, “years from now, when you talk about this, and you will, be kind.” 

Ao3 Name: trillian_jdc (Out of some sense of wanting a vague anonymity. snerk. That worked well.)

Fandoms: Sherlock, specifically Mystrade, although I got there through Good Omens

Number of fics: 16

1. Fic you spent the most time on: The one I’m writing now, which will be a sequel to Every Dog Has His Day. I am learning a lot as I go, so I actually do rewrite passes now. And struggle more with endings. Or properly, where to end. 

2. Fic you spent the least time on: To Die Hard For. I wrote it while the Mystrade Reading Club watched the movie, so it’s about Greg and Mycroft not watching the movie. (They found other things to do.) 

3. Longest Fic:  Every Dog Has His Day at over 7000 words. They get longer the more I do this and remember to put in things like description. I love dialogue, and I am not naturally a visual thinker, which means I’m great at having characters talk to each other, but I kind of assume readers already know where they are and what they’re wearing. 

As a series, though, Mystrade Cocktails is going to surpass that. The three entries right now total over 6000 words together, and there will be at least two more stories. (I know what they’re drinking the morning after, when that time finally comes. So to speak.) 

4. Shortest Fic:  To Die Hard For. (I wrote more than two things, I promise, but they keep coming up as answers to this quiz.) 

5. Most hits:  The Soulmate Search. My first fic, it was part of an event, so well-promoted, and I think a number of fan friends were being kind in checking it out and encouraging me to continue. There have been two sequels so far (with potentially another to come), so those drive people back to the first as well, I suspect. 

6. Most kudos: Same. 

7. Most comment threads: Every Dog Has His Day. Who can resist Greg as a pooch? Cuddly and fun to speculate on what breeds the other characters might be. Also my first substantial chaptered fic, which likely drove discussion. (Well, my first that I actually posted the rest of the chapters for. Going Viral, you are not forgotten.) 

8. Fave Fic you wrote: I have great fun with building themes around the drinks in the Cocktails series, and I think I managed to capture shy but determined Mycroft being wooed by Greg in that one ... and I loved the imagery of Mycroft sweeping Greg onto the dance floor in Friends in Odd Places (where I also learned one image does not a story make) ... but my personal favorite so far is Through the Looking Glass, and What Greg Found There, because it sums up so much of what I like about that pairing, and I adore the image of Mycroft as an eight-year-old. 

9. Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: This question should more be fics I want to finish! I have too much WIP, but I am committed to continuing / completing them. 

10. Share a bit of your WIP or share a story idea that you’re planning: 

Oh, there are way too many plot bunnies hopping around my notes file. 

My personal challenge is writing light entertainment, since I try, and it comes out angst-y, even though that isn’t my fave to read at all. But the other day I had a super-angst-y idea that I’m toying with for Halloween, in which Mycroft, once Sherlock and John marry, is forgotten by more and more people until he simply fades away. Rosie still notices him, but she’s too young for anyone to pay attention to, and Greg is the only one who feels the tug of something missing. 

I’m hoping I could manage comedy in the idea of Mycroft discovering fanfic, then becoming an internet avenger and eviscerating bad commenters and trolls and the like. 

Another silly one I want to do is based on a photoset, in which Greg is a former male model who got out of the business and became an agent, and Mycroft is a magazine editor who sees one of his old pictures and falls hard. I used to work for a periodical publisher so I think I could manage this fairly well. 

And I’ve partially written one that started out as naughty, with Mycroft sleeping his way across London, and turned instead into a warning and meditation on when affection really means something. 

But WIP gets done first! 

Thanks to anyone who read this far for a rather self-indulgent wallow. Vulpes already tagged many of the same people I would... so leaving aside those on that list, I will add @jessieblackwood and @wastingyourgum and @eventhorizon451, if they want to play. Or anyone else who’s interested! I love seeing people talk about their work. 

#fanfic survey

[melaninhuntress]

Aphrodite April Days

Since I wasn’t able to write a post for each day of the challenge I decided to put all of my responses in one post. Even though I wasn’t able to do all days I did enjoy this opportunity to bond with Aphrodite and to reflect on our relationship.

Day 2: Plan a special ritual in honor of Aphrodite and your love for her

This is my first time honoring Aphrodite on the Full moon so I wanted to make this ritual as special as possible. I thought possibly doing a bath ritual but since that is something I am used to doing with her I also thought about doing something different like maybe maybe meditate with her. I wrote down a list of all of her symbols and I definitely wanted to incorporate seashells, rose quartz, and pomegranate in the ritual somehow.

Day 3: Share your own personal associations (concepts/symbols/animals/colors..etc)

I personally associate her with rose quartz, Valentine's Day, and the entire month of February.

Day 4:Which of her myths is your favorite?

My favorite myth so far is the one where she is born of sea foam

Day 5:List your favorite epithets and why

My favorites so far are "She Who Turns to Love," "Laughter-Loving," "Of the Sea," "Foam-Born" and "Risen from the Sea." The first two because it reminds me how she represents all types of love which include self-love and how part of loving oneself is to accept your mistakes and not take yourself too seriously. The last three is because they remind me of Aphrodite's sea aspect as it is amongst the aspects that I connect with her the most.  

Day 6: Share your favorite hymn

I like the Orphic Hymn#55 that's dedicated to Aphrodite

Day 7: Share your  Full moon ritual and how it went with Aphrodite

I usually mediate with Artemis and Hekate on the full moon so I decided to do two separate sessions and do Aphrodites the following day instead. During my session with Artemis and Hekate I had an intense visualization and Aphrodite appeared to me as a representation of Libra which I didn't expect for her to do and she told me that it's time to take my place in the world.For my ritual for Aphrodite the following day I split it in two portion: a cleansing bath portion and a Sea Sinking (meditation) portion. For the cleansing bath I used bath bombs, shea butter and pomegranate wash. During the bath I took time to soak myself with in it to become in tune with its energy. I begin to cleanse myself of miasmic thoughts and situations. I begin say that I am loved and I am worthy of love from myself and others, I am worthy of respect from myself and others, that I am beautiful and strong and smart. During this time I visualized the water’s energy being pink as I was washing myself. I then felt compelled to do some affirmations while also washing myself with rose bar soap and African black soap, by saying that I am powerful, I am magical, I am in tune with the universe and the universe is in tune with me, I am in tune with the forces of nature an the forces of nature are in tune with me, I am in tune with the ancestors and the ancestors are in tune with me, I trust that the ancestors would provide what I need, I am a root worker who harness ancestral power, I am a witch who’s power comes from sea, earth, and cosmos, I am a Child of the universe, a Child of God, I am many things but most in importantly I am me. From that moment I felt a release and I smiled with joy and proceeded to drain the bath water and to rinse myself with the shower.Afterwards I put pomegranate lotion on and I retrieved all of my items for the sea sinking/grounding part of the ritual which included seashells, sea glass, rose quartzes, and frankincense. I than burned the incense on Aphrodite's altar and my cleansing and protection sprays to create a barrier to protect the space around it. I formed a circle with my items and invoked Aphrodite to proceed with the meditation. I originally wanted ocean music to accompany the sessions but I had issues with my phone that prevented me from accessing a video with the music. I felt disappointed and shameful that did all of this for Aphrodite and its not working out well but Aphrodite strongly assured me that we can still do it without the ocean music. I decided to go along what she said and continue the sinking by imaging the ocean sounds in my mind and asked my Ori to guide the visualization. The visualization while blurry and unrefined had me in a beach with the ocean waves in front of me and I was wearing a blue dress again while barefooted. I then asked Aphrodite where we were and she said were in a beach.  During the process I felt that it wasn’t working and tried to open my eyes but Aphrodite assured me that it was. I then felt compelled to get into the ocean so I did a dive and was floating underwater. I than saw Aphrodite come up to me and some menfolk by her side (maybe nereids or oceanids?), she than grabbed my arm and dragged me a couple of feet through the ocean and she than faced me and said that I am worthy of love and I am loved while cupping my cheek and kissing my forehead. I asked her what if I won’t remember that I am loved and she said that I always will. Then the visualization blurred and I opened my eyes. I asked her to confirm if it was real and it happened and she said it did. I was happy that it worked out but apologized how isn’t end up as I planned and she told me not worry about that. I then realized that I didn’t bring an apple as an offering or my water scrying water but assured that there was no need for the former and that the latter can be done this Friday. I thanked her for her presence and ended the ritual.  

Day 8: Talk about a UPG you have?

I'm not sure if this counts as UPG but I feel like Aphrodite is a huge shipper when it comes to fictional characters just we tend to be.

Day 9: Songs that remind you of Aphrodite and share your playlist

My Aphrodite playlist is very long because I put all of my favorite love and romance songs from movies, musicals, tv shows and from individual singers while putting in songs that center around other types of love like friendship , familial, and self love and some some songs that have sexual themes. So for this I'll just share ten of the songs that are on that list.

"Show Yourself"-Frozen II

"Change Your Mind"-Steven Universe

"True Kind of Love"-Steven Universe: The Movie

"Nobody's Perfect"-Hannah Montana

"Can You Feel the Love Tonight"-Elton John

"You've Got a Friend In Me" -Toy Story

"One Love"-Jordan Pruitt

"Kiss"-Prince

"You Belong with Me"-Taylor Swift

"Seasons of Love"-RENT

Day 11: What are some daily things you do/in honor of Aphrodite?

I haven't been consisted lately but I generally dedicate my self care to her as one of the things she has reminded me is that self care is itself a form of self love.

Day 12: Talk about how you personally see Aphrodite or create/share an image?

I generally see her as a brunette with long wavy hair with peachy skin that that has a slight tan. Sometimes she wears a pink prom like dress with white gloves and other times she wears a pink chiton. Those are the forms she usually appears to me in my visualizations.

Day 13: A person you associate with Aphrodite (someone you know or a celebrity)

I personally find that one of my best friends Hanna gives me strong Aphrodite vibes mostly because I noticed that the role that Aphrodite plays in my life is similar to what Hanna's was.

Day 14: A fictional character you associate with Aphrodite

There are a lot of characters that remind me of her. For this I would like to talk about Miss Piggy and Stella from Winx Club.

Miss Piggy is a lot of things: self-confidant, self-indulgent, self-absorbed, self-centered, self-assured, self-reliant.....a lot of the words that begin with "self" applies to her haha. Miss Piggy has a lot of self worth that is often demonstrated in many ways throughout Muppet media. Two of my favorite moments was that Three Little Pigs segment in Muppets Classic Theater when that wolf commented on her body shape and she snarked at him back and that scene in The Muppets 2011 film when the Muppets almost replaced her with Miss Poogy and she burst right in the studio to reclaim her place. Both of these moments capture a lot of aspects of Miss Piggy and one of these aspects is her huge amount of self worth. She was like "you're trying to take my place? In my original gang? Replace me? I don't think so bitch." She reminds me of Aphrodite because I perceive her as a goddess who knows her worth and isn't ashamed at being herself.

Stella from Winx Club reminds me of Aphrodite for the some of same reasons as Miss Piggy. Stella is a huge fashionista, can be self centered and vain but despite all of this I really admire how Stella is always there for her love ones. I often perceive Aphrodite as a goddess who is dedicate to what she loves so when she loves someone or something, she loves it hard. This applies to Stella such as when she sacrificed herself to save her father  and when her boyfriend fell in a hole in the Under Realm with Stella jumping in after him. Stella is powered by the sun so she was already very physically weak when she was underground yet that didn't stop her from attempting to save him.

Day 15: Tell a story about yours and Aphrodite's relationship

There was this Friday where I missed the bus to my meeting with my job couch and I had to rescheduled, I came back home very tired and feeling shame over not being able to make it I ended up sleeping on and off on the living room chair. I ended feeling bad that I was wasting my time sleeping throughout the day instead of honoring Aphrodite, she than came to me by saying that there is nothing wrong with taking a rest and reminded me that taking care of myself is a form of self love on its own. This moment really touched me because not only did it demonstrate that the Theoi appreciate small things and we can honor them by our own actions but also showed how much Aphrodite cared about me.

Day 16: What do you love most about Aphrodite?

I love her compassion and how she really gets intimate with her followers. She takes in all of us who feel unlovable and unworthy and makes feel very loved and cared for. Aphrodite is a goddess who fundamentally wants all of us her followers to love ourselves by seeing ourselves the way she sees us.

Day 17: Where do you most find/feel Aphrodite?

I mostly find her in the hair salons, in local water fowl, my altar for her and when I go out shopping with my mom and try on new clothes. I often felt very insecure trying on new clothes because I don't have the "perfect" body shape but there were times where I look at myself in the mirror and I feel like I am attractive and I hear Aphrodite counter by saying I look beautiful.

Day 18: Share your favorite piece of artwork that depicts Aphrodite or that you personally relate with her.

My pieces of artwork so far are these two that depict her portrayal in Percy Jackson & the Olympians and Percy Jackson

Day 19: What are some resources that you used to help you get closer to Aphrodite?

I used Theoi.com, the aphrodite worship and aphrodite devotion tag on Tumblr, PastelPriestess' Resources for Aphrodite Devotees was pretty helpful as well as the Ways of Worship: Aphrodite article on Vocal. I generally utilize bath rituals with themes of self love, confidence and the sea, putting on perfume, painting my nails, and my biweekly hair wash to feel closer to her. I sometimes try to practice affirmations while washing my face in honor of her in addition to listening to my playlist dedicated to her.

Day 20: Share some movies you associate with Aphrodite

So far I seem to associate Steven Universe: The Movie with her. I am not sure why though, it could be because the movie and the show its based on depicts various relationships (friendship, familial, healthy, unhealthy...) and all the it comes with these relationships such as jealousy, insecurity, idealization, disillusionment, heartache, and many others. Both the show and movie has a strong theme of love and one of the various ways it is embodied is through self love something which many characters such as Pearl and Amethyst struggled with.

Day 22: In honor of the New Moon, what’s something new you would like to bring into your worship/devotion?

I would like start planning feasts to share with Aphrodite, write my own hymn to her, explore my gender identity and to understand what it means for me, and to possibly start writing letters to her.

Day 23: Talk about one of Aphrodite’s lovers

I always felt a connection with Hephaestus due to being a disabled individual myself. I find that Hephaestus empowers me as a disabled person even though his is more physical and mine is mental. I struggle with internalized ableism which often manifests as making me feel like I have no worth in the grand schemes of things and Hephaestus helps me counter it by reminding me that I do have worth. One of the lessons that he has taught me is not instead of focusing on gaining the approval of neurotypicals I should instead focus on developing my personal skills and talents ("Don't tell them that you can do it, show them that you can"). Something came over to me one day where I wondered why Hephaestus never tries to gain the approval from others since he is kind of an outcast amongst his Olympians and possibly in Ancient Greece as well since he had few public shrines and temples but than the answer came to me: Hephaestus knows his own worth. He doesn't need to prove himself to others because he knows how important he is in the grand scheme of things, he knows that there is no way the Olympians would have their weapons without him and knowing this possibly prevents him from being insecure.   Hephaestus is the epitome of have self worth as a disabled/differently abled individual. I also admire his passion and dedication to his craft.

Day 26: What’s a misconception about Aphrodite that annoys you the most?

All common misconceptions of her anyone me but the one that annoys me the most is that she is all about sex, lust, and romantic love. I dislike how people reduce her to this traits in order to dismiss a less impressive goddess when she is so much more than that. Aphrodite accept all of us and that includes those of us in the ace and are spectrum. There are times when I sometimes feel insecure over demisexuality and how I don't often feel sexual attraction to the person I am romantically attracted towards which often causes me to question on the authenticity of my feelings. Aphrodite has reassured me that I don't need to experience sexual attraction for my romantic feelings to be valid.

Day 28: If you’re comfortable with it, share a pic of your altar/shrine and talk about it. If you don’t have one or are not comfortable sharing a picture, talk about what you would like your altar/shrine to look like and/or what it represents to you

My Aphrodite altar has a pink cloth with hearts on it as the base. Since I didn't have the money to buy a statue I instead made a jar to represent Aphrodite inspired by this post on deity jars. The jar is filled with seashells, rose quartz, clear quartz, pearl-like beads, dried pink rose petals, and sea glass. Surrounding the jar is a conch seashell that resembles the one I saw in my dream where Aphrodite reached out to me, seashells, sea glass, red rose petals, a red candle, perfume and scented boy lotion and my sachet dedicated to Aphrodite that was inspired by Aphroditiful's Aphrodite Spell Sachet. I often carry it with me either in my purse, pants pocket or jacket/coat pocket in order to keep he by my side and feel close to her. There is also a frog shaker which I added because I knew that is something se would like since frogs were associated with her and a jar with a mixture of Libra Full moon and Taurus New moon water in order to keep the energy of Aphrodite April with me.

Day 30: Talk a bit about the aspects of Aphrodite that tend to go unnoticed, such as her war side and her death side. What do they mean to you and how do you see them in her?

Aphrodite Areia, her war aspect, to me represent how love is a very powerful and strong emotion. Love when you think about it can often cause conflict as much as it can bring peace. What I think about Areia, I think about that scene where Mufasa wrecked Shenzi, Banzai, ad Ed after they tried to eat his son, even if he wasn't the king he still would have done that because he loves Simba that much, I also think about how people participate in war simply because they love their county and their love ones that much.  There is also the fact that love can cause jealousy, heartache, tears, pain, and sorrow. We often associate love with positive qualities and emotions but the fact that it can also cause negative emotions shows its duality and how very powerful it can be.

#aphrodite april #30 days of aphrodite #aphrodite devotee #aphrodite worship #aphroditedeity #theoi

[eldritchsurveys]

911.

5k Survey XXXIV

1751. Do you think that it is okay for a homosexual or a woman to become a priest? >> Of course. I’m sure some sects think they’re justified in barring certain kinds of people from being priests, but I think it’s kind of fucked up to deny someone that kind of religious stature based on nothing but some arbitrary fact of birth or design. 1752. Which would you rather give up forever, religion or sex? >> Why can’t you love god in your bed? said Steve Vai and he was fucking right, god dammit. Give me both at the same time. 1753. What comes to mind when you think of these places: Canada? Moose. UK? Those red double-decker buses. I’ve seen way too many pictures of London and not enough of the rest of the UK. USA? The White House. Australia? The movie The Nightingale. Germany? Beer. Italy? The canals in Venice. 1754. What does your favorite bumper sticker say? >> Oh fuck, I’ve forgotten! I saw one a while ago that just slayed me but I’ve forgotten what it said by now. Unfortunate. 1755. Have you ever taken a shower with another person? >> Yes.

1756. What bath toys do you have, if any? >> I don’t have any bath toys. 1757. Would you rather propose to someone you love or would you rather be proposed to by someone you love? >> Does it matter? 1758. How can you reject someone nicely? >> By being tactfully honest about the fact that you’re not interested in what they’re offering.

1759. What kinds of diary names make you interested enough to check out the diary? >> --- 1760. What do you think are three common passwords people use to secure their diaries? >> --- 1761. Pick an object in the room. Give that object a name. >> I’m cheating and picking a plushie. Its name is Marshmellow and it’s a white dog with pink accents. 1762. What is the quickest way to make you blush? >> --- 1763. Do you usually feel that you deserve it when other people compliment you? >> I don’t always feel like I deserve it, but I try to accept it gracefully anyway. It’s a kind gesture to give a compliment and I'd hate to alienate the giver by denying it. 1764. If you were to start your own business what kind of business do you think it might be? >> I don’t want to do that. 1765. What is one of your pet peeves? >> When I’m taking a walk and have to dodge into the fucking street to avoid lawn sprinklers. 1766. What question do you get asked too frequently? >> I used to get asked constantly if my septum ring hurt. Luckily I haven’t heard that question in a while.

1767. You notice a ring is priced $40.00, but the cashier only charges you $10.00. Do you mention this to the cashier? >> Yeah. Back in the day, I wouldn’t have, because an extra $30 in my pocket would have been beyond lucky. But I don’t have to worry about that so much anymore, so I can indulge the luxury of uprightness. 1768. Could a kiss on the ___ be considered cheating? Cheek?  Lips? Nose? Hand? Ear? Neck? 1769. Would it bother you if your lover occasionally flirted with others? >> Of course not. That person’d better flirt back too, she’s a catch.  1770. How long has it been since you last played truth or dare? >> I don’t play that. 1771. Should people who are living now be obligated to do things that will make the world better for people who will live 100 years from now? >> I don’t know. I mean, we’re struggling trying to make the world better for ourselves, let alone hypothetical people who don’t even exist yet. 1772. Imagine you have a dream in which someone you care for acts mean to you. Is it possible you will still be angry with this person when you wake up? >> I know it’s possible for some people because I’ve heard this kind of story before. It’s not possible for me, I don’t think of the people in my dreams as actual avatars of real-life people. Dream folks are just wearing faces they’ve pulled from my memory. 1773. Have you ever left someone a note with a picture in it? If yes, how do you do it? >> Er, no, I don’t think so. 1774. What do you fear more, death or pain? >> Pain, definitely pain. When I think of the various things I fear about death, they all come down to being afraid of some kind of pain (physical, mental, psychic). 1775. Are the questions still interesting this far into the survey? >> Some of them are, like the previous one. And then there are whole sections that have just annoyed me, lol. 1776. Do you like the cartoon Inspector Gadget? >> I’ve never seen it. 1777. You know how Gadget wears the same outfit all the time, and his closet is full of outfits that are exactly identical to the one he wears? If your closet was full of just one outfit that you had to wear everyday what would it be like? >> Sweatpants (or shorts, in summer) and a band t-shirt. And a hoodie, in chilly weather. 1778. Would you rather time travel to the future or the past? >> No. 1779. Would you rather know how the world began or how it will end? >> I think we’ve learned a lot about how the world began, right? Or at the very least, we have sound theories about it. Now, how the universe began... that’s the kind of shit I’m into. 1780. Would you rather meet your ancient ancestors or your great great great great great great grandchildren? >> --- 1781. Out of these 4 which is most important (1=most, 2= second most, 3 = 3rd most, 4 = least)? Curing diseases such as aids, cancer:  Preserving wildlife areas:  Ending terrorism:  Building colonies in space: 1782. In your opinion should every child be entitled to a good education? >> Sure. I mean, why not, right? 1783. What news item are you tired of hearing about? >> The presidential election. 1784. Speaking of 9/11 the anniversary is coming up. What will you be doing? >> Nothing. It doesn’t mean anything to me, I wasn’t there and neither was anyone I know. 1785. If this were a recipe for you, how would it go? >> --- 1786. Which of the following would YOU be more likely to survive: A fall from a 3 story building Driving a car into the water >> A fall from a 3-storey building. I can’t swim, so I’m definitely not surviving the second one. 1787. What philosophy was manifested in the communist manifesto? >> Was it not Communism? Or is that not a philosophy, per se... hmm. 1788. Who is your exact opposite? >> No one is my exact opposite. That just doesn’t make any sense. 1789. Would you rather have serenity or insanity? >> --- 1790. What do these phrases mean? Moulin Rouge:  Le voyage sur le bateau:  Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir: something about would you like to sleep with me tonight, idk. I just remember it from that one song. 1791. What is the longest distance you have ever walked? >> I have no idea. Miles and miles. 1792. The ancient Greek philosopher Plato believes that beauty truth and justice all basically mean the same thing. What are your feelings about this? >> I don’t understand what Plato was trying to say here, I need the context. 1793. How did you first begin to assert yourself as independent from your parents? >> I mean, that... happens in childhood, right? The development of the self as a separate entity from one’s caregivers? 1794. If you had a magic bracelet, would you use it to gain luck, money, health, creativity or love? >> No. 1795. What would you do if every time you used your magic bracelet something bad would happen to someone else? >> I wouldn’t have used the bracelet in the first place, because all shit like that has some kind of equivalent-exchange side effect. I know my magic devices, okay. 1796. This is a story about a girl. While at the funeral of her own mother, she met a guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy she believed him to be that she fell in love with him then and there, although she didn’t even see him after the funeral ended. A few days later, the girl killed her own sister. What is her motive for killing her sister? >> Oh, I’ve heard this one before. It’s some kind of crack “test” to see if you’re a psychopath. The supposed “psychopath answer” is that she was hoping that the guy would appear at her sister’s funeral. 1797. Have you ever intentionally hurt someone’s feelings? >> Sure. 1798. What do you think of Franz Ferdinand? >> As far as the band is concerned, I like that Take Me Out song, but I don’t know any of their others. Alas, I don’t know anything about the Archduke except that he was assassinated, so I can’t say I have an opinion on him. 1799. What do you think of the band Modest Mouse? >> I liked Float On, but I don’t know any of their other songs. 1800. What do you think of Morrissey? >> I like Morrissey. Well, his music, anyway.

#surveys #survey #5000 question survey

[actuallyvady]

Tagged by @ryanglitter, figure i might as well do the thing ♥

1. Do you make your bed?   

No, lol. Sometimes I’ll throw the blankets back into a semblance of made so the cat can sleep on the one she likes best.

2. What’s your favorite number? 

3 is the biggest, most important one-- I love the number 3 and any number divisible by 3, and I have since I was young enough to know what the number 3 was but not yet old enough to develop memories I would keep so I have no idea why. But it extends at least somewhat to geometric designs as well-- I tend to prefer symmetry based on odd numbers and like... there’s a triangle in the middle of my giant back tattoo. 

I am also quite fond of 13, because it’s my birthday and because I turned 13 on a friday. It helps that it has a 3 in it.

And I quite like the number 17, for reasons I cannot explain. I am drawn to it, and find it... soothing? That’s not quite right. Grounding, perhaps. 

3. What’s your job? 

I cut rectangles of fabric all day. Sometimes I have to stick rectangles together to make bigger ones.

4. If you could, would you go back to school?  

... that depends on what “if you could” means. I could! I could literally enroll anywhere I liked tomorrow, my parents would support me in doing that. But I already have tens of thousands of dollars of student loan debt and no degree to show for it, so I probably won’t. That said, if I suddenly found myself financially solvent to the point where there would be no loans and I didn’t have to worry about having a job with health insurance? Yeah, I might. 

I miss the fancy, nerdy engineering school I was at before my mental health problems made me flunk out. I am actually being treated for those now, and I would love to go back, and see if maybe I couldn’t be successful this time around. It was a lovely place and I felt at home there and hell, I even miss having math homework and tearing my hear out over physics problems. 

So yeah... if I “could” I would. 

5. Can you parallel park? 

Yeah. My first year at my first college I said fuck that noise to paying $300 for a parking pass and spent all semester using street parking even though I lived on campus. Now I drive a toy car with a tight turning radius and can fit into even the tiniest spaces, which means I am less afraid of street parking than most of my friends. It’s a pity I can’t be the one to drive when we go out somewhere-- the aforementioned “toy car” seats two, and the passenger will probably have difficulty getting in and out and therefore cannot have any, like, knee or back problems. 

6. A job you had which would surprise people?

I fell for a couple of MLM schemes when I was younger, one of which involved selling sex toys. 

7. Do you think aliens are real?

Yes, but I do not believe they have ever come here. 

8. Can you drive a manual car? 

Yes, but not well, and I prefer not to. That said, it is a little disappointing that my toy car is an automatic-- he’d be more fun as a manual. But he was the one I happened to find for sale when I needed a car and I love him... plus I can manually control which gear I am in for the first three gears, if I so choose; that is an option my toy car has.  

9. What’s your guilty pleasure? 

I do not feel guilty for the things I enjoy. 

10. Tattoos? I 

I have a giant phoenix on my whole back and a sprig of cherry blossoms on the inside of my right arm. I am currently considering three more, one of which will happen as soon as I am not spending all of every paycheck on kpop (so about a week after never, if things keep going the way they are)

11. Favorite color? 

I have always said it was green. I do not remember deciding that it was green; I declared green my favorite color before I was old enough to form memories that I would keep, much like my love for the number 3. I have childhood things that are green because it was my favorite color that I acquired very, very young. 

That said, I was reminded recently why green is my favorite color. 

On Monday night I went to the denver art museum to see an exhibit of claude monet’s work. I am quite fond of monet, so I took my time, standing and staring at some of the pieces long after the audio tour had told me to move on to the next room. And what I was most fond of was the fact that many of his pieces are so... life-like. They’re more real than photographs, because they not only capture a sense of movement, they seem to capture a feeling-- there were several where I just wanted to close my eyes and listen to the wind in the leaves and feel the sun on my face. Because looking at these paintings, I felt like I could.

Anyway, green is the color of dappled sunlight filtering through thick foliage and soft cool grass beneath bare feet and I adore it.

12. Things people do that drive you crazy? 

If I am posting a rant about something, I do not want you to offer solutions-- especially when those “solutions” are not helpful in any way. Unless I ask a question directly or request suggestions, please refrain from shoving your “expertise” in my face; chances are good I’ve already thought of what you are suggesting and figured out why it won’t work. 

That’s not an important one, it just annoys me so much.

13. Any Phobias? 

I’m getting better about spiders! I can deal with them existing in my space, now. Still freeze if I try to approach them to like rehome them outside but. 

14. Favorite childhood sport? 

There was a brief period of time where I played soccer at recess. Then I fractured my pinky when a ball hit it the wrong way and I stopped doing that. 

15. Do you talk to yourself? 

Mostly I act out the dialogue to whatever daydream or fanfiction I am currently playing with. (These days I am developing elaborate post-canon stories for the Untamed. No, I will not share them. They are very self-indulgent and kind of ridiculous, especially the longer I play with them.)

16. What movie do you adore? 

It just came up on facebook again yesterday so Jupiter Ascending is actually one of my favorite movies and no, I will not listen to arguments why I should not love it. 

There are others, of course, but.

17. Do you like doing puzzles?

Like... jigsaw puzzles or like... what? Because it really, really depends on what kind. Some I am more fond of than others. Generally speaking, as long as I am not under a time constraint, yes.

18. Favorite kind of music? 

These days? kpop. 

19. Tea or coffee? 

Yes. I drink both regularly.

20. The first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? 

There was a winter olympics when I was about five and I clearly recall wanting to be a figure skater but thinking I was too old to start training. 

Not going to tag anyone, just thought it would be fun to answer. ♥

[kakusu-shipping]

I’ve been self indulging in rewriting my old Ouran Highschool Host Club Self-Insert for two days now and I’ve decided to write it down cause it’s another one of those Self-Inserts that has a descent story with it.

So, he’s trans, 1. As a child his name was Nanami, and “she” was to be Kyoya’s arranged bride. The two knew each other from Kindergarten and got along decently, as much as you can with cold stone Kyoya. “She” also knew Mitskuni and Takashi at a young age, because “her” parents ran a candy and baked goods company, very large time.

In Early Middle School, 1st year, before Tamaki, Nanami’s family moved to America to widen the business. “She” and Kyoya kept in touch because that’s the kind of guy Kyoya is, and “she” was, at the time, the person he was closest too. The bickered like typical siblings.

In America “She” became He and even adopted an American boy name, Emile! He loved his knew title and, even if his parents weren’t all for it, got top surgery and delved more and more in Sexuality and Gender identity.

With his new identity, he returned to Japan, without his parents, and lived with Kyoya.

(This is where I’m gonna switch to I/we pronouns because it’s a self-insert)

Living with Kyoya was the same, we still bicker like siblings and I call him a perverted old man constantly.

First day back to school everyone’s a buzz about “someone” returning from America. Tamaki is curious and when he’s told it’s a girl, he’s addement about being the first to welcome “her” back to the school.

Kyoya, as the Vice President, and the Class President (who’s a manga only character and I can’t find her name), start the class of welcoming the new student. The Class President is tripped up when she looks at her paper and sees an English name. Unsure how to say it, she pauses, in which Kyoya is instead the one to say my name.

Everyone is, of course, surprised when a boy walks into class and introduces himself as Emile, previously Nanami. 

The girls in the class on in an uproar, as we were all previously in the same elementary school, asking if I’m cross dressing. After a brief explanation of what Transgender is, everyone’s cool with it. Tamaki makes a slip here and there for the first day, and continued to get death glares from Kyoya and eventually gets his pencil snapped in half over it.

Tamaki expects to be able to talk over how Kyoya’s acting weird at the club meeting today but, SURPRISE! I’m there too. In fact, Kyoya has a job for me. But first! Presents!

The Twins, who I don’t know and they don’t know me, demand their gifts first. Luckily, Kyoya told me about everyone already, so I have gifts for them and the others I haven’t met.

For the twins, they both get a ball on a string catching game thing, because Kyoya said they like games and commoner toys. They same it’s lame but start playing anyway. (And have it mastered by the next day)

For Hunny next, cause he came asking next, a stuffed bunny with a bag of chocolates!

For Mori (whom I have had the biggest crush on for years), a Woodlen animals of Northern America encyclopedia. Inside the first page is taped a small keychain of a Tanooki.

For Haruhi, based on Kyoya’s recommendation, coupons! Most of them are for food stores that are in both America and Japan. “Kyoya said you like food and saving money!” is the only explanation. Haruhi blames Kyoya.

And finally, for Tamaki, a collection of “Blind Bags” from Walmart. Little Commoner toys where you don’t know what you’ll get till you open them.

Kyoya already got his present, which was a DVD collection of some of the worst American Movies I could find. Bad as in bad jokes. This is Kyoya’s sense of humor.

Now, for my job. I’m not a host. Not good at it, too socially anxious and clumsy and dumb. Instead, Kyoya puts me in charge of serving. In case a host runs out of cakes or tea/coffee, it’s my job to deliver more. I also make the sweets because, you know, bakery family. This, of course, saves money. As Kyoya says.

I wear roller scates and deliver wherever needed, along with check the list to make sure everyone’s at the right tables and on time.

I’m very bad at the “Which one is Hikaru Game”, even without the hats, in a 50/50 chance, I get it wrong 90% of the time. Th boys don’t pick on me too hard though because I’ll almost always beat them to the punch on calling myself stupid. The first time they called me dumb and I agreed with them, Mori got up from his table, took the hat Hikaru wears for the game, hit them both with it, then lightly smacked me over the head, “Don’t call yourself stupid. The game’s rigged.” And left.

Also, I wanna say right now, Hunny and Kyoya are the same level of intelligence, and have the same sense of humor when it comes to messing with people. So, as they know Mori and I like eachother, they’re getting in the way of that. Just enough to make it fun.

One time, after being mistaken for a girl a lot in one day, I was doing the dishes in the kitchen area of the club room, and Mori came in to try and cheer me up. As he was doing this, outside the room, Kyoya and Hunny were playing Rock-Paper-Scissors to decide who gets to go in and break it up.

Haruhi’s class went to Kyoto to see Temples because, you know, the class likes to do commoner things. And OBVIOUSLY Tamaki drags the rest of us along because Haruhi cannot go anywhere without him.

We rented three rooms, becuase Tamaki thought it’s a part of the trip to share rooms with friends. Kyoya suggested I take the third room alone, but I don’t like sleeping by myself. Mori presents sticks in his hand, whoever gets sticks of matching numbers share rooms.

Mori... Isn’t a very smart man, but still tried to rig it. He placed the 2 stick in front of himself and Me so we’d pick the same room, and the 1 stick in front of Hunny and Tamaki so they’d share a room. Seemed simple. But OH NO. After I picked the 2 stick Mori planned for me, Kyoya went next and immediately reached for the stick in front of Mori. You could see the immediate panic on Mori’s face, and while it would be funny to ruin Mori’s carefully thought out plan, Hunny shook his head to tell him no. So he took Tamaki’s instead.

We ended up swapping rooms the second night anyway because Hunny and Kyoya thought that’d be more fun, and Tamaki kept complaining about being in a room alone.

Also on this trip we went to The Kiyomizu-Dera temple and learned about the old “leap of faith” myth. The tour guide asked us what our wish would be, and we both wished to cure all illness. We immedetly started talking how sense we have the same wish, only one of us as to jump to get it, but Kyoya came over to tell us if we BOTH jump, it raises our chances of getting a wish by 50%. We did the math and that’s like!!! 100% chance of getting our wish granted!!!

They twins had to physically restraint Tamaki from jumping, while Mori simply picked me up. Kyoya thought it was funny. Haruhi was very tired.

Also while we were there I followed a bird halfway across town while no one was looking like a toddler and called Kyoya crying because I was lost and couldn’t see the temple. Luckily he puts GPS tracking on everyone’s phones and was able to find me.

Haruhi asked me once to explain LGBT+ to her, because her father is a Trans woman and she doesn’t fully understand that. He still goes by he/him pronouns and Father because he doesn’t want to try and replace Haruhi’s mom, obviously.

So one day after school I got to her house with all my reference books to talk to her about it while her dad’s out. And, of course, we can’t have a meeting on our own, the rest of the club tags along.

After talking about Gender, we also talk about Sexuality. I use my own Asexual as an example, then the fact Kyoya’s Bi and Tamaki is Pan. Except. Tamaki doesn’t know what Pansexual means, so I have to explain and he agrees. 

After also proclaiming Karou as Bi, Hikaru is immediately confused because not even he knew this?? Karou came out to me because he also didn’t know much about LGBT and wanted to explore himself more. Hikaru asks me if he’s Bi too and I tell him I can’t speak for other people. “But you spoke for Tamaki!!” “Kyoya gave me permission to speak for Tamaki because he would have never figured it out on his own.”

We figure out in this meeting Hunny is the only Straight in the entire group. He’s also the only one currently dating anyone.

Haruhi reflects on the Non-Binary parts of the conversation and asks to barrow a couple of books.

At the end of this long self insert story thing, I’ll put that, like other Self-Inserts, I latched onto ships that are canon in this universe, unless I meet other Self-Shippers of this Fandom.

Me - Mori.

Hunny - Reiko

Kyoya - Tamaki

Haruhi - Ritsu

I know Haruhi and Tamaki are the canon ending of the manga, which is my favorite manga btw, but I love Kasanoda too much. He’s very cute and while he DOES get a happy ending in the manga as well I just... I just want him and Haruhi to be happy.

#oskgodkfogdo #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #This is way longer then I expected it to be I'm sorry to anyone who reads this!!!! #Mori #OHSHC Self-Insert #Please read the Ouran manga it's very good #Extras: #I call Kyoya 'Kyo-Kyo' and he hates it #In Tamaki's Family image of us I fall into baby brother #Though the Twins disagree and say I'm more like the dumb dog they found on the side of the road #Sometimes compairable to spesifically 'Mommy's' dumb-ass lap dog #To get revenge on Kyoya once I took a picture of his messy sleeping face and posted it to the Host Club page #He then proceeded to show all of the club members (spesifically Mori) his photo album listed 'Emile's Crying Faces' #I cry a lot over dumb things #I called Tamaki daddy once without paying attention and everyone but him hated it #Mori and I's first kiss was in the school's rose maze after I got lost and then proceeded to fall out of a tree trying to find a way out #I run when excited and will fall every time #Kyoya has most of my ticks by memory at this point #Example; The first time I met Kasanoda was in club #and I bounce when excited #I was wearing rollar scates at the time #so as Kyoya was explaining who Kasanoda was to me he also made me sit down so I could bounc in a chair without falling #Mori is still learning these ticks but is luckily fast acting #I connect Mori with Tanooki's and have so ever sense we were kids #The first time I was invited to Mori's Birthday Party I got him a plush Tanooki and his dad laughed saying his son wouldn't like it #Suprise tho he still has it and it rests on his bed #On Christmas everyone did a gift echange one year and everyone kept trading with me so they could give a spesific person a gift #I eventually ended up with Hunny #who got Kyoya and came to me begging for advice on what to get him #I relieved Kyoya's horrible taste in movies and immediately got in trouble

[sleepyssnail]

Logan’s Log Entries: Personal Note #1

Chapter One, Chapter Two, Personal Note #1, Chapter Three, Personal Note #2, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven, Chapter Twelve, MASTERPOST

Summary: Virgil and Roman are superstitious, and Logan is slightly oblivious

Pairings: slight Logicality and slight Prinxiety

Warnings: None

Words: 401

Notes: Since I have finals soon and not much time to finish writing and editing chapter three of the main story (I do have it all planned out and the new video makes this even better) I figured this would be fun.

Taglist: @morganlafley @daughterofsomnus @violetmcl @thatsthatflamingo

To be added or removed from the tag list, please message me or send in an ask!

April 13, 2018. Friday.

Personal note: It has occurred to me that bother Virgil and roman feed into the superstitions associated with Friday the thirteenth.  This was proven when I went downstairs for breakfast only to see the two of them huddled on the sofa with a mass amount of blankets, pillows, a few stuffed toys (I believe Roman calls one Mrs. Fluffybottoms), and a substantial amount of snacks.  When I attempted to prompt them away from their den of lies, I was met with hisses and screams that I would be cursed by the bad luck if I did anything today.

Of course, I chose to pay no mind to this childish behavior and went about my day with Patton as he has no desire to indulge in a silly superstition.  While Roman and Virgil hid from the bad luck on the couch, I partook in one of Patton’s favorite pastimes of baking cookies.  He has noticed I have taken time from my day to spend with him, and I assume he is thankful as he regularly touches my shoulder fondly and wiped some cookie batter off my face today.

Note to self: Remember to take Patton’s temperature again, as he was very red while baking.

Once finished with dinner preparations, Patton and I presented food to Virgil and Roman who skeptically ate with us while we watched several Disney movies. Patton and I were not allowed on the couch as we had been moving about all day with the “bad luck” and “black magic.”  After declaring it was time to regenerate ourselves with sleep, Roman made it very clear that he and Virgil intended to stay on the couch until 12:00 AM on April 14, so as to ensure the bad luck had disappeared.

In the middle of the night Patton awoke me to ask if I was in need of a drink, and to properly hydrate myself I joined him downstairs for a glass of water where we discovered Virgil and Roman unconscious on the couch.  Patton made a high pitched sound of what could be delight, and took several pictures of the two who had moved closer to each other and were “cuddling.”

I pray that the next time this happens I am able to talk sense into the two fools instead of having to carry them up to their rooms with Patton taking photographs of us..

#logan's log #logan sanders #logic sanders #sanders sides #patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #implied shipping #logicality #prinxiety #my writing #my fanfic #ssnailstuff

[annieisyourfavourite]

u know what no one is asking but i love my new ocs so i’m gonna do that ask meme for all of them okay

Full Name: Preston Akimoto

Gender and Sexuality: non-binary male, straight?

Pronouns: he/him

Ethnicity/Species: Irish & Japanese, American, human

Birthplace and Birthdate: born in the suburbs of northern cali. definitely grew up in a little wooded neighbourhood. they moved once peyton (his little brother) was killed

Guilty Pleasures: he has depression so i’m inclined to say anime but probably just like. cartoons in general. cute things. gravity falls vibe

Phobias: he’s terrified of the occult & forests but he’s completely fascinated by them too. hates spiders & most bugs

What They Would Be Famous For: the akimoto family got some coverage when peyton was killed, a young boy at only 11

What They Would Get Arrested For: he’s been committed for attempted suicide

OC You Ship Them With: Nenita

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Dana. He and Dana are the Phoebe and Chandler of the group, they vibe the least with each other

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: again, he hates Scary stuff but he indulges in it constantly. he likes silent films too, kind of an art hoe but it’s bc of the depression

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: character dies then comes back to life, ~dark brooding bad boy~ types of characters

Talents and/or Powers: he used to be good at working with his hands, creating wood carvings or sketches or little toys made out of junk he finds. he doesn’t do a whole lot anymore on his own or for himself. he and nenita stargaze

Why Someone Might Love Them: s y m p a t h y. this is my “Make Them Suffer” character, because he represents Depression. he has tried to kill himself multiple times, which is why he’s at the apartments with everybody. he needs to be under supervision because he’s a danger to himself, but he doesn’t do well in full-time care. he tests a lot of new anti-depressant medication bc he doesn’t give 2 shits about what it’ll do to him. he’s a self-sacrificing depressed man. he’ll give anyone his jacket if it’s cold even if it means he’s shivering. he seriously cares about himself so little that he’d do Anything for his friends, even for people he doesn’t know that well but haven’t proven themselves to be assholes yet

Why Someone Might Hate Them: “why aren’t you having fun?” “come on, just make a decision” “not everything is the end of the world” “when was the last time you really smiled?” “stop being lazy”

How They Change: I’m hoping by the end of whatever potential “story” is in my head, all 5 of them can be in the acceptance stage of grief. he’s close, but he had depression before peyton died, and his little brother’s death has only exacerbated it. his tragedy is in part, how close he is to being okay, and that being the last step is what keeps him there so much

Why You Love Them: have u ever heard of self projecting

#Preston Akimoto #5 stages #my OCs #mine #his eye bags are gucci

[shit-zu]

Do all of the Hufflepuff asks/if you're too lazy pick 3 favorites and answer those

You’re like the first person to ever indulge me in this so thank you babe! 1. How long have you known your oldest friend?

I’ve known her since we were toddlers! 

2. Smells that remind you of home?you know that fresh, free smell of being in nature somewhere without anyone else around? that smell. 

3. What movie can you watch over and over again?

Jurassic Park! 

4. Do you have any nicknames?yeah! my family calls me Jax! 5. How was your day?pretty quiet, actually. i’ve had a mild headache and i need to bathe and take my meds, but overall it’s been pleasant. 6. Who do you wish was with you right now?i mean i could make this either really funny or really sad so i’ll split the difference and say my cat 7. What are you too hard on yourself for?honestly? my academics. any time i get a bad grade i hate myself for it even though i know i shouldn’t. 8. Do you believe in an afterlife?I do. Or maybe I just want there to be an afterlife. Either way I think that consciousness transcends our biology in a way. 9. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what animal would you create?I’m not sure I’d do it. I’ve seen Jurassic Park enough times to know what happens when you try to control nature like that. But, putting my hesitations aside, if I had to I’d probably make something that’s half horse and half dog. 10. Top 3 OTPs? 1. DOCNONNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2. asra x Julian tbh  3. bughead ❤️11. Do you like it when people play with your hair?Depends on who’s doing it. Cute person? holy shit yes. Stranger or someone I haven’t given explicitly given permission to? holy shit no. 12. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk 13. Do you have a secret talent? What is it?I mean I’m a really creative person so I dabble in a lot of things people would call “talent” but I guess something I’ve never actively pursued in the public eye would be writing or giving speeches. I’ve gotten compliments on both in private. 14. What does your name mean?Well that depends. Are you asking about my url? Because that’s just a joke that a friend and I made (shout out to cayden (if u still go by that boo if not i’m sorry)) and i kept it because they meant a lot to me and we sort of came into our own together if you mean my name name, Jacqueline is just the feminine version of Jacques. 15. What was your favourite tv show as a child?I remember Teletubbies very vividly from my childhood, but I don’t remember enough of my childhood itself to tell you one way or the other. 16. What’s the most thoughtful present you’ve ever received?My mom gave me a pillow made from my grandpa’s favorite shirt for Christmas this past year. 17. Would you ever become a vegan?No. I don’t believe the vegan movement has the best interest of working class/poor people and the environment at heart. It places a lot of blame for the decaying of our planet on the single person and is more so about “animal rights”, which are both things that aren’t killing the environment. It’s huge corporations and oil companies who dump things illegally, build pipelines, and overall just have no regard for our lives and the safety of the planet that are endangering our environment and the animals in it. Not to mention that if we stopped consuming animals we’d have millions and millions of invasive cattle, sheep, pigs, goats, etc. loose in an environment that they shouldn’t be in. Saving the planet is more complex and nuanced than just “meat is murder!!!!!!!!!”18. What social issue would you most like to spread awareness about?This is such a hard question, especially because all social issues kind of interlock together. If I had to pick just ONE issue I’d say probably healthcare, because growing up poor and rural made my childhood exceptionally hard, especially because my own parents couldn’t take care of their bodies. I’ve seen my dad splint his own fingers more times than I care to admit. Not to mention that healthcare is vital to maintaining mental health. 19. Tell us a story from when you were youngMy favorite story from when I was young is probably the one about people in walmart talking about my hair. So, I was born with a full head of thick, curly hair. Like, there wasn’t a patch on my head that was even close to bald. This caused a lot of people to stop my mom in Walmart to comment on how I was such a pretty baby and how much hair I had. I detested this. Well, after one such encounter in Walmart, as the lady walked away I muttered to my self, in the most mocking tone a three year old could manage, “she’s got such THIIICK THICK THICK THICK hair”. To this day I refuse to compliment children because I know they’re ungrateful and will make fun of me afterwards. 20. What age do you get mistaken for?There’s no specific age, but it’s almost always younger than I am. 21. What double standard is ridiculous and needs to be ended?THE ONE WHERE MEN GET TO BE HAIRY AND HAVE ALL THEIR NATURAL BODY HAIR BUT WOMEN DON’T 22. Favourite thing to do on rainy days?sleep. i’m the sleepiest bitch 23. Do you have any stuffed toys?i have so many stuffed toys and they’re all over a decade old24. Who was your favourite teacher at school and why?my ag teacher!!!!!! she was such a strong woman who encouraged me to succeed and i will always look up to her 25. Most hufflepuff thing you’ve ever done?found something that other people spent hours looking for

#anon #ask meme #god that took so long but it was SO WORTH IT #thank you anon!!!!!!!! #Anonymous

[thecaffeinebookwarrior]

Tips For Writing Time Travel:  An Illustrated Guide.

@jjpivotz asked:

“What is a good way that I could write time travelling without it being cliche?”

Ooh, I love questions like this!  They’re so much fun, and on a somewhat self-indulgent level, they really get me thinking on the tropes themselves.

So without further ado, here are my personal thoughts on writing about time travel:

1.  Embrace the fact that it’s not gonna make total sense.

This goes for a lot of creative fiction.  When I was writing my urban fantasy novel, for example, I used a lot of traditional mythological figures whose duties and depictions (i.e. one humanoid being reaping the dead despite the fact that over a hundred thousand people die a day, billion-year-old entities who still look and behave like teenagers, figures from religions whose world views wildly conflict interacting with each other, etc.) weren’t compatible with what we currently know about the laws of physics.  

And the sooner I resolved not to even attempt to explain it, the sooner my novel improved.  

The wonderful thing about fiction is that it doesn’t have to imitate reality as we know it;  the laws of the physical universe need not apply.  And as long as the characters in your universe accept that, so will the reader.  

I’ve had around twenty beta readers look at my book, and not one of them has poked holes in my casual disregard for the conventionally accepted rules of physical reality.  The suspension of disbelief is an amazing thing.

As for how to best apply this to time travel, take Back to the Future, for example. This is one of the best time travel series ever made, but if you really look at what’s going on, you’ll come to find that none of it really makes any sense at all.

First of all, Marty McFly is a popular high school student whose best friend is an eccentric nuclear physicist.  Conventional wisdom (and just about every fiction writing book or advice blog I’ve ever read) would dictate that this is a pretty heavy plot-point and warrants some explanation.  But the narrative never questions it, and as such neither does the vast majority of its audience.  

It is in this exact manner that Back to the Future handles its heaviest of all plotpoints, the act of time travel, which is the main driving force behind its entire plot.  

How does it explain Doc Brown’s ability to time travel?  Well, he invented the Flux Capacitor, of course.  What is a Flux Capacitor, you ask?  How does it work, exactly?  Well, fucked if I know.  All I know is that the narrative treats it like it’s a real thing, and by default, so do I.    

The same could be said for the magically changing family portrait, the fact that the characters can’t interact with their past or future selves without universal destruction, flying cars, and the fact that the McFlys’ future children inexplicably look exactly like them.  None of it makes any sense.  And it’s fucking magical.

Another of my favorite examples of this is pre-Moffat Doctor Who.  The science is campy, occasionally straight-up ridiculous, and unabashedly nonsensical, yet paves the way for some truly great and thought provoking storylines and commentary.  

Bottom line is, I don’t know how to time travel.  I’m guessing you don’t either, otherwise you probably wouldn’t be asking me for advice on how to write it.  Accept it.  Embrace it.  Don’t be bashful about it -- trust me, time travelers are probably a minority in your readership, so they won’t judge you.

So as to what would be a good means of writing time travel, the short answer is:  any way you want.  For obvious reasons, I’d stay away from old cars, police boxes, and phone booths, but with the power of the suspension of disbelief, virtually nothing is off the table:  a pair of magic sneakers, a refrigerator, a closet, a treehouse -oh, crap, that one’s been done before.  But you get the picture.  You can be as creative as you want to be about it.  Don’t be afraid to step outside the police box, so to speak.  

Trust in the magic of the suspension of disbelief, and don’t overthink things.  Your story and readers will thank you.

As for how to avoid other cliches, that brings me to my next point: 

2.  Look at the tried and true tropes of time traveling.  Now subvert them.

This might just be me and my adoration of irony talking, but since you specifically asked how to avoid cliche I’m going to indulge myself here.

Do the exact opposite of what people expect from narratives about time travel.  You know the old trope:  the protagonist steps on a bug, and comes back to the present to find the world being ruled by gorillas.  

I’m not telling you not to include drastic consequences for time travel, because there would probably be quite a few (at least if you believe in the chaos theory, which states every action has a universal reaction.)  

But you could toy around with the idea that fate isn’t something that can ultimately be altered at all, and that all the protagonist accomplishes is solidifying (or even triggering) a pre-existing outcome.   

My knee-jerk suggestion, as someone who takes fiendish glee in incorporating humor into my writing, would be to make the protagonist have some Forrest Gump-type encounters that unwittingly trigger huge, history-defining event, but it can also be significantly more tragic than that:  maybe the protagonist goes back in time to save his father from a hit-and-run car accident, for example, and then accidentally kills him.  Or perhaps he realizes that his father was a bad man (beat his mother, planned on killing someone, etc.) and makes a moral decision to kill him (which is also a great way to ask philosophical questions.  More on that later.)  

I don’t know what kind of time travel your writing or what your style of writing is, but these are things I’d personally just love to play around with.    

Or maybe time travel does change things, but it’s not even close to what the protagonist expected:  maybe his words of wisdom to his newly married mother about true love and the meaning of life and whatnot unexpectedly lead her to realize that she’s deeply unhappy in her current marriage, and he returns to the present to find her divorced (lesbian stepmom optional.)  

Maybe absolutely nothing at all changes, but he realizes that he’s responsible for some famous Mandela Effect, like the Bearenstein/Bearenstain discrepancy.  

Bottom line is, don’t be afraid to do the unexpected.  But conversely, don’t be afraid to use tried and true tropes, either:  regardless of how overdone they may seem to be, they can almost always be rejuvenated when interjected with a thought-provoking plot.

Which brings me to my final point:

3.  Make sure it has something to say.

Science fiction, especially the speculative variety, tends to be best when it begins by asking a question, for which it will later provide an answer.  Take, for example, Planet of the Apes.  The pervasive question of the movie is whether or not humanity is inherently self-destructive, which it ultimately answers with its famed final plot twist that humanity has long since destroyed itself.  

Rod Serling (who was incidentally responsible for the original Planet of the Apes, by the way) did this remarkably well:  almost every episode of the Twilight Zone packed a massive philosophical punch due to the fact that they followed this simplistic formula.  The episode would begin with the presentation of a question, big or small (frequently by the charismatic Serling himself) and by the end of the episode, that question would be answered. 

I’m not going to go in to detail here, as it would spoil the magic of uncovering the plot twists for the first time, but Serling used his speculation to tackle the narrow-mindedness of beauty standards in Eye of the Beholder, the dangers of fascism in Obsolete Man, the communist paranoia of the time period with the Monsters are Due on Maple Street, and countless more.  

I would recommend watching the original Twilight Zone for almost anyone looking to write speculative fiction such as time travel. 

Even if your work isn’t compatible with this specific formula of Question => Debate => Answer (which some work isn’t) it will still need to have some kind of underlying statement to it, or no matter how clever the science fiction is or how original the time travel is, it will fall flat.  

This is why Twilight Zone, Planet of the Apes, Back to the Future, and (pre-Moffat, as I always feel inclined to stress -- he does literally the opposite of almost everything I recommend here) Doctor Who still remain widely enjoyed today, despite the fact that many of their tropes have been used many, many times since they original aired.

So for time travel, remember that it is a means, not an end.  You could write the most cliched type of time travel story imaginable, and your audience will still feel fulfilled by it if your message is heartfelt, thought-provoking, and/or poignant.

Maybe you want to use time travel to make a statement about your belief in the existence of fate, or lack thereof.  In this case, using the Sterling Approach, you would have your story begin with the question of whether or not humans can alter or change destiny, allow the narrative/characters to argue the question back and forth for a while, and then ultimately disclose what you believe the answer to be.

Or maybe you want to use time travel to explore or subvert the treachery of history and how it is taught, and show how the true narrative can be explored, purposefully or otherwise, by the victors.  

Maybe you want to show that there’s no clear answer, or maybe no answer at all, a la the cheerful nihilism of Douglas Adams novels.

Either way, figure out what you want your message to be long before you put pen to paper, and then use time travel, like any other creative trope, as a means to an end to answer it.  Your story will thank you for it.

(I hope this helps!)

#writing #writing tips #writing advice #time travel #science fiction #back to the future #doctor who #planet of the apes #the twilight zone #rod serling #ask the author

[artofpeacelove]

When the outside is off limits, you run out of of fun and fresh things to do inside. Like once you’re down readjusting your schedule in between fits of power sobbing, you just get bored by the monotony of your scenery. I remember when I first realized this would be a problem, when my roommate told me, “I feel like we need to download TikTok.” “No, we’re 29, Amber,” I said. “Not even in an apocalypse.”

This was three weeks ago; you’ll understand that it was a different world back then.

1. Tie-dye your old T-shirts

Getting in touch with tie-dye will (literally) add some color to your drab existence.

2. Make friendship bracelets

Keeping on that summer camp train, friendship bracelets can ease you in a state of flow (and make for celebratory “We made it!” gives for when you reunite with your buds).

3. Learn a new card game

Blackjack? Poker? Go Fish?

4. Play a new virtual game with friends online

America is under Animal Crossing’s soothing lure right now, but we’re also very partial to these games you can play remotely with the whole damn gang.

5. Host a cocktail making competition

It could be virtual or it could be in your own home, but let’s see who gets the most creative with the ingredients left on their bar cart!

6. Put together outfits with the clothes you never wear

If there comes a day when you’ve exhausted black sweatpants—and I respect that some of you live there now—test out some of the lesser-used garments from your closet. You might find some hidden gems!

7. Learn how to French braid

Fishtail is fine, too, but this slumber party hairstyle is great for when you need to remember a simpler time.

8. Remove your split ends

Don’t cut your own bangs, we’re not that deep into quarantine for that kind of judgement call, but you can fix split ends safely without going hack-happy.

9. Become a ballerina

Has it always been your secret dream? Break the tights and tutu out, because there are about a gazillion online ballet classes that can make you feel like a regular Swan Queen.

10. Sew face masks

Even if homemade faces masks won’t directly protect from the coronavirus, they’re a kindness with a practical, ultimately prosocial use: they can stop you from touching your face.

11. Take a crash course in positivity

Hell, get an Ivy League joy degree with Yale University or University of Pennsylvania.

12. Get in touch with your birth chart

Learn how to read your natal chart and decrypt the nitty gritty of your star-sanctioned personality.

13. Do some purge-writing about something that’s frustrating you

Chances are you have some grievances right now. Get out a piece of paper and some wacky colored pens and blergh out all of your negative emotions. Look at a few days later and then put it through the shredder!

14. Take a virtual tour of a museum

Even if you’re not going to Paris in the spring like you planned (le sigh) you can still take a stroll through the Louvre or any number of venues to get a culture fix.

15. Redecorate your house with witchcraft

I actually gave my apartment home makeover with witchcraft last year and would highly recommend! I mean, there’s bad juju all around us and you might as well make your space a sanctuary while you’re stuck there.

16. Have a romantic solo date

I was pioneering enjoying being alone way way before it was…mandated by the government, so here’s my night-in take on my solo date idea: pour some wine, make your favorite (cauliflower) pasta, light some candles, and crank up the Frank Sinatra. You can decide if you want to take yourself home (lol) later.

17. Have a kitchen dance party

Do dance parties as much as possible! Do it with your partner! Do it with your long distance friends! Do it with yourself if you need to! Just do it!

18. Upgrade your daily stretch with laughter yoga

Head to YouTube to give yourself some lols, no downward dog required.

19. Watch the adorable penguins at the Bronx Zoo grow up

Wildly specific but there are two baby blue penguin chicks at the Bronx Zoo right now and your girl is following their every MOVE. Incidentally you can also take a virtual tour of the zoo, and heads up, there’s snow leopards!

20. Hula hoop for exercise

As the office’s resident Mrs. Maisel, hula hooping is the best form of exercise in the world, and we all should be doing it.

21. Make a gratitude jar

Write three things you’re grateful for every day and put it in the jar—highly beneficial if you’re quarantining with family and trying to not be at each other’s throats.

22. Interview yourself

Just sent my roommate a bunch of soul-searching questions, really get to know who you are and what you love about yourself.

23. Take your self-pleasure to the next level

We know times are tight, so we have some affordable sex toys, and household items you can use in a pinch.

24. Dye your hair a cotton candy color

If you’ve ever felt self-conscious or like you couldn’t pull it off, you know… f–k it. I’m rocking Manic Panic hot pink as part of my go-to isolation aesthetic.

25. Write letters to pen pals

Make a new senior friend in a nursing home or pen love letters to your long distance (read: housebound a few miles away) sweetie. Just because we can access everyone through technology doesn’t mean people don’t want written words to hold onto (don’t worry, mail is most likely safe).

26. Upcycle your old clothes

If you’re not really into a modern day hippie aesthetic, there are other ways to reinvent and repair your old threads.

27. Make some whipped coffee

I can’t lie, it looks delicious and worthy of all the Instagram love.

28. Declutter your entire home

You’re already disinfecting like crazy, go full Marie Kondo while you’re at it.

29. Dust off your grandparents’ old recipes and give them a whirl

Pull out the index cards and even Zoom them in while you’re cooking them (unless they’re like, gone, which is still a good reason to recreate YiaYia’s avgolemono soup.

30. Ask your parents to tell you a story about their childhood

I don’t know, even after a full year of “Ok Boomer,” we do feel very protective and loving towards our parents during this crisis.

31. Explore some of the most beautiful National Parks in America

Until you can explore them in person, this go for a virtual nature walk.

32. Fill every inch of your house with daffodils

Or whatever flower you find fitting, bring the outdoors indoors!

33. Read the entire Baby-Sitters Club series

During Zoom happy hour we played a trivia game, and you know who crushed the Baby-Sitters Club series? Your girl. There are 131 books total, so either check back in with Kristy and the gang for the nostalgia factor, or literally read this ridiculous YA series as a bizarro adult project.

34. Do absolutely nothing

Lol, I mean, that’s going to be a first for some of you! Enjoy the moment of sitting there and being idle!

35. Do an online workout with pop icon Cher

I mean, you can definitely do a more dignified online workout, but I’m going to start my morning with Cher’s 1980s hot dance.

36. Try out a new kind of meditation

Maybe a grounding root chakra meditation or a compassion meditation.

37. Take a bath with all the trimmings

Bath bombs, bubbles, salts, if you’ve upgraded from your garbage apartment to somewhere nice, indulge yourself.

38. Watch a movie remotely with your crush

The Netflix Party extension can help you there!

39. Redecorate your desk space

I mean, you might as well jazz up your home office while living that WFH life.

40. If you’re partnered, have an hour long make-out sesh

I’m sure your boinking like crazy, but why not kick it old school and simply enjoy kissing?

41. Spend about a trillion hours on Pinterest

Fill your feed with literally everything you love!

42. Practice a new language

There are plenty of language apps available to train you for when we can travel again.

43. Start teletherapy

It might feel weird at first, but transitioning to virtual therapy could be really worth it in this high stress time.

44. Make a playlist of absolutely flawless jams

Or check out this masterpiece editor Jessie Van Amburg blessed us with.

45. Bake banana bread

Sure, why not, everyone else is doing it.

46. Give tarot card readings, regardless of whether you know how to read tarot

I find it’s kind of funner to wing it, but here’s some simple tarot tips if you really want to learn.

47. Finally get into Podcasts

Hell, even make one if you want to, it’s the end of the world, babe.

48. Do some living room miles

Get your steps in with meditative walking.

49. Make a “Me Altar”

This is basically just a collection of items that worships the awesomeness of you, whether that’s a polaroid from a day you looked amaze to some rose quartz crystals

50. Have a Zoom brunch date with your best friend and be extra petty

Just like back in the good old days when you were overpaying for avo toast.

51. And a coffee date with all your work wives

Because the Zoom Happy Hours don’t really give you quality catch up time.

52. Get yourself a new toy

This $20 vibrator will serve you well in isolation.

53. DIY your usual manicure

If you were a former salon queen, we have some tips on how to do it the right way.

54. Organize your old photos in a photo album

To remember the good old days.

55. Watch all of Buffy the Vampire Slayer

It’s a show that features nothing but how to survive apocalypses, so now is the time to start if you haven’t already.

56. Order and install a bidet seat

Toilet paper is over.

57. Download TikTok

Ew. I mean, if you want.

This all being said, it’s okay if you’re not feeling your most productive right now. And if you’re social distancing alone, this is how to recreate human touch. 

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#57 new things to do inside when isolation boredom seizes you #Good Advice – Well+Good

[thejoeydavis]

Movies of 2016

(I’m posting this late but for archival purposes I’m putting it here)

Every January I do a list of all the movies I watched over the past year in chronological order and this,, as you can tell,, is that list. Each movie is rated out of 10 and rounded to the nearest whole number for simplicity and because I use the letterboxd app to log all my movies and it uses a 5 star system. These number ratings are meant to be as objective as possible, which means they’re judged on commonly agreed upon film conventions and what most critics and kinophiles would consider to be “good film,” as pretentious as that sounds. Really it just means I went with my gut feeling and then considered technical aspects and effectiveness on all of these. Paired with each are some thoughts to talk about what I liked or disliked, how it made me feel, etc. I’ll try to keep it short on as many as I can since there are so many. tl;dr: top 10 is at the bottom

Anomalisa – 7 – a predictably depressing Charlie Kaufman film about loneliness and being human—somewhat ironic considering it’s a stop motion film. Don’t let the puppets with 3d printed faces fool you; this is a very human movie with one of the most realistic sex scenes ever captured on film. Probably don’t see this with your mom like I did.

Inside Llewyn Davis – 8 – one of my favorite movies of the past few years and one of my top Coen bros movies. The charismatic but dickish performance by Oscar Isaac and beautiful folk soundtrack depicts a hard life for a musician in early 1960s New York that will make you feel better about yourself (unless you’re a musician).

 Me, and Earl, and the Dying Girl – 8 – also one of my favorite movies of the past few years, this love letter to classic film by Alfonso Gomez-Rejon is a beautiful story of a popular kid in high school who befriends a girl with terminal cancer. Essentially Perks of Being a Wallflower meets criterion collection.

Project X – 7 – one of my guilty pleasure movies. Lots of fun.

 The Hateful Eight (70mm) – 6 – I got to see this in 70mm complete with preshow overture and intermission and it was an incredible experience. I loved the movie but it’s not Tarantino’s best by any stretch. Note the huge disparity in rating from last year when I gave it a 9.2. This film is not a 9.2.

 The Forest – 3 – in this movie Natalie Dormer goes to the Japanese suicide forest to search for her sister who went missing. Suicide is a very apt theme here considering how heavily I considered ending my life during this movie. Truly awful.

 Carol – 6 – one of those movies that I know is good but I just didn’t enjoy. It’s about Rooney Mara and Cate Blanchett as they try to hide their forbidden romantic relationship in 1950s New York. Long, slow, but very pretty and touching, I’d recommend it if you like character driven stories—especially ones about LGBT issues because it’s very good in that regard.

 Hail, Caesar – 7 – underrated mystery film by the Coen’s about old Hollywood and communists. More along the lines of the Big Lebowski than No Country For Old Men. Just a really fun movie with a great sense of world building that makes 1930s Hollywood really come alive.

 Deadpool – 7 – pretty funny and exactly the kind of movie Ryan Reynolds and fans wanted. Probably the only good Marvel movie made by Fox.

 The Witch – 8 – a visceral and disturbing film about a cursed life in 1600s New England, The Witch (stylized as The VVitch) is one of the best horror movies I’ve ever seen. Be warned though, it’s the definition of slow burn horror so you’ll probably dislike it if you’re used to modern horror films.

 10 Cloverfield Lane – 7 – one of the big surprises of the year and also one of the most thrilling, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and John Goodman both give excellent performances. It’s basically a bottle episode completely unrelated to the first film. People have criticized Winstead’s character for her actions at the end but it completes her character arc perfectly so it definitely works.

 Room – 8 – beautiful film. Somewhat overrated.

 Brooklyn – 8 – one of my favorites from 2015 and immensely enjoyable from start to finish. This story of an Irish girl moving to Brooklyn shows that the conflict doesn’t have to be high stakes for it to be compelling.

 Batman v Superman – 4 – wow surprise surprise, Zack Snyder made another shit movie. Awful film full of clichés and nonsensical dialogue, bizarre editing, and the incredibly moronic decision to try and kickstart an entire cinematic universe in a dreadfully painful 2+ hour runtime. This movie sucks and DC needs to either hire some competent scriptwriters and directors or just give up already.

 Zootopia – 7 – ah the quintessential furry movie 2016. I really enjoyed this and it has great rewatch value. One of the most beautifully animated movies of the year.

 Midnight Special – 6 – I had no expectations for this movie and I was pleasantly surprised by it, although somewhat let down by the ending. It’s an interesting story about a kid with unknown supernatural powers being smuggled to a specific coordinates where he says something will happen. The mystery unfolds throughout the run time and there are some pretty cool scenes. Fun sci-fi to rent maybe.

 Midnight in Paris – 7 – 1920s Paris is arguably one of the best eras to be alive in and Woody Allen captures the magic of the period well. As with most modern Woody Allen films it’s pretty cheesy—especially the modern day scenes—but the scenes that take place in the 1920s with F Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Gertrude Stein, and Picasso are truly a delight. One of my favorite movies from 2011.

 Captain America Civil War – 7 – not bad but much worse than Winter Soldier. It was enjoyable at least and miles ahead of Avengers 2.

 Green Room – 8 – a disturbing, white-knuckle rollercoaster of a film that follows a punk band as they fight off a bar full of alt-righ—I mean neo-nazis. An absolute must-see.

 The Nice Guys – 7 – fun from start to finish, Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe give two funny and over the top performances in this 1970s period film about two detectives who get caught up in a case that’s way over their heads. Definite recommendation. Crowe’s performance in the first third/half or so is very melodramatic and over the top cool-guy but I believe it was intended to be tongue in cheek so don’t let it throw you.

 The Jungle Book – 6 – not bad.

 Raiders of the Lost Ark – 9 – a near perfect movie and one of, if not the best action movie of all time.

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 Make Happy – 8 – Bo Burnham tweeted about a special premiere screening of his new special back in March so I bought tickets and went with Andrew to see it. We went to the Largo in West Hollywood and were treated to a short comedy show and the grand premiere of Make Happy, Bo’s last one-man show for the foreseeable future. It was an incredible experience.

 The World of Tomorrow – 8 – it’s only 16 minutes and it’s by Don Herzfeldt—what’s not to love? Get ready for an existential crisis.

 The Conjuring 2 – 7 – pretty spooky in some parts with a cool little i spy game you can play with the name of the ghost demon lady. Not as good as the first.

 Finding Dory – 7 – older Pixar films have a certain level of charm that all their films post-Toy Story 3 (barring Monsters University) don’t seem to have and this is no exception. It was very enjoyable but it just felt like it doesn’t have the magic that the old ones have.

 The Shallows – 4 – the amount of praise this movie received was deadass baffling. This is one of the worst movies I’ve seen this year and I don’t see how so many people missed the cliché dialogue and plot, ridiculous shark cgi, exploitative ass shots, and absolutely insane and unrealistic attempts to kill the shark. Critics and audiences comparing this to Jaws is an insult to not only Spielberg, but also the art of filmmaking itself.

 Frances Ha – 9 – one of my favorite movies of all time, this black and white indie film by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig is a cozy tale of solipsistic loneliness, friendship, and following your dreams. It’s depressing, but in a very relatable and reassuring way. Greta Gerwig as the New York dancer Frances is so believable that seeing her in other roles feels almost disingenuous. Honestly if you watch anything on this list you should watch this first, foremost and as soon as possible. It’s on netflix!

 Mistress America – 7 – another one by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig and it was actually my introduction to their work. I loved this movie when I first saw it but it pales in comparison to Frances. Still a great movie with wonderful acting and snappy as hell dialogue. Fun fact: Noah Baumbach worked with Wes Anderson in the past and it shows here, especially in the dialogue.

 The Neon Demon – 8 – one of the most polarizing films of the year but a definite return to form by the near infamous Nicolas Winding Refn. The success of the 2011 masterpiece Drive was not good for Refn’s ego apparently as he followed it up with the nauseatingly self-indulgent Only God Forgives. Thank goodness he was able to find a balance between pure art film and accessible indie film with the Neon Demon. It’s by no means very accessible but the acting, especially from the main girls and a sleazy Keanu Reeves, is great and the visuals are incredibly surreal and v e r y v e r y n e o n . Recommend if you like artsy films with lots of sex and blood.

 Back to the Future – 10 – a textbook example of what a perfect movie looks like.

 It Follows – 8 – nothing but love for this creepy and atmospheric 2015 horror/suspense film about the end of childhood and the impending dread of adulthood. Really it’s about a supernatural shape shifting thing with its “rule” being that acts like an std being passed down through sexual partners. If the thing catches you, it then goes after the previous person in the chain and so on, so the only way to save yourself is to pass it on or run endlessly in futility. Please do see this it’s great.

 The Secret Life of Pets – 6 – a disappointment but Louis CK as a dog was fun to see.

 Hush – 5 – not very good Netflix horror movie about a guy terrorizing a deaf lady at her home in the woods for some reason.

 Snatch – 6 – I suppose if I were more familiar with Guy Ritchie’s work I would’ve enjoyed it more but it looks like it was shot by a Tarantino wannabe edgelord and edited in windows moviemaker. Still entertaining though.

 Horace and Pete – 10 – Horace and Pete is a dramedy web series multi-camera sitcom written, directed, and produced by Louis CK and it’s the single best serial program I’ve ever seen. This is a true masterpiece in every sense and the writing and acting is some of the best in a serial program. It was so good that I actually could not enjoy anything else for days after because everything paled in comparison. For example, I watched Stranger Things the day after I finished this and I had to stop watching three episodes in because it was completely and utterly awful compared to Horace and Pete. The quality of writing is unbelievable and I laughed and cried at many many points. Louis CK, Steve Buscemi, Edie Falco, and Alan Alda, bring career defining performances to the small screen and I cannot wait to watch it again—although I’m not sure I’m prepared for it.

 Breathless (1960) – 7 – one of the most defining films of the French New Wave, this film by Jean Luc-Godard is a love story shot in some of the most unconventional ways I’ve seen in a film. It’s not surreal or weird but it certainly is interesting. Worth a watch if you like the cinematography of Wes Anderson, Woody Allen, or Louis CK—although it’s a much more saturated French New Wave style since all those styles are derivative of this. Has some of the most intriguing and innovative tracking/dolly shots I’ve ever seen. In fact, at one point two characters are walking down the street but they couldn’t afford a dolly for the tracking shot, so they had the cameraman sit in a wheelchair and film while someone pulled him backwards to make the shot. Really that’s what French New Wave is all about: innovating and using filmmaking techniques that were unprecedented at the time.

 Star Trek Beyond – 6 – a really fun return to the franchise that actually felt somewhat like a Star Trek film—unlike that last one. It’s still just an action movie franchise now but it’s just a real good time.

 Lights Out – 3 – again, the praise this film received was COMPLETELY unwarranted and totally baffling. This movie blows and is so saturated with clichés that I can’t imagine liking this film. don’t waste ur time.

 Mike & Dave Need Wedding Dates – 5 – actually hilarious movie. Really dumb but so goddamn funny. Zach Efron and Adam Devine are a great duo. Has arguably the best exchange about fisting in the history of film.

 Café Society – 6 – a pretty good modern Woody Allen film. Much better than his last two, Irrational Man and Magic in the Moonlight. It’s nice to see a film from Woody Allen that isn’t about a much older man falling in love with a much younger woman.

 Suicide Squad – 2 – “roses are red/there is no god/my favorite movie?/suicide squad.” – Gideon Ondap deadass one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I wrote a 10 page essay on this after it came out but basically the editing is jarring enough to induce brain trauma, the acting is atrocious, and the script is objectively bad. A complete and utter failure of a film. The name is a warning.

 The Room – 1 – another one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen yet 1000x more enjoyable than Suicide Squad. Tommy Wisseau is a genius and this is his magnum opus. Required viewing. Also I must say that a Suicide Squad/The Room double feature makes for one of the funniest nights of life.

 Scott Pilgrim vs The World – 8 – honestly one of my favorite movies. A super well done adaptation directed by Edgar Wright, this film is able to stand independently next to the already spectacular Scott Pilgrim graphic novel series. The music is incredible. It never gets old.

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 Sausage Party – 5 – obscene, racist, vulgar, and dumb as hell with a giant food orgy at one point. Still laughed at much of it.

 Captain Fantastic – 8 – a dad raising his kids to survive in the wilderness of Washington must bring them into society to attend their dead mother’s funeral. A big surprise and one of the most enjoyable movies I saw this year.

 Don’t Think Twice – 8 – Mike Birbiglia has always been one of my favorite comedians because his stories were so heartwarming, wholesome, and packed to the brim with jokes that would reward you on multiple viewings or listens. Don’t Think Twice is Mike’s second movie I believe, and it’s about an improv group in Brooklyn having fun doing their craft while trying to make a life for themselves. When you’re a comedian/improviser,, your friends are too, but if one of you actually gets a big break then it’s that person’s break and no one else’s. It causes a lot of tension between performers because even though they’re all friends, they’re still actively competing in a highly sought after profession. Judd Apatow came out after he saw the movie and said how accurately it depicts the life of comedy performers. It’s a really depressing (in a relatable way) and realistic take on the competitive world of improv and deals with friendship, comedy, and how cruel life can really be. Beautiful movie.

 American Beauty – 8 – really did not like this the first time but warmed up to it on the second viewing and it really shines despite many dated aspects.

 Antz – 6 – woody allen as a ant oy vey

 Back to the Future II – 5 – pretty bad sequel until he goes back to 1955. Worse than the third tbh

 Everybody Wants Some!! – 7 – even after the abortion that was Boyhood I didn’t give up on Richard Linklater and I’m glad I didn’t. This spiritual sequel to Dazed and Confused (but in the 80s this time!) was a ton of fun.

 Clapping for the Wrong Reasons – 8 – this short film written by Donald Glover and directed by Hiro Murai is about a surreal day in the life of The Boy, a character Donald Glover created as the speaker of his Because the Internet album (his magnum opus imo). Hot take: Chance v Bino push up contest contender for best film scene ever.

 Kubo and the Two Strings – 7 – the most beautiful disappointment of the year. The incredible stop motion animation is unfortunately much more enjoyable than the underwhelming story. Not as good as Coraline.

 Hell or High Water – 8 – the director of photography from Sicario returns for this modern western about two brothers who rob the banks that screwed over their mother. Great performances from Jeff Bridges, Ben Foster, and Chris Pine.

 Don’t Breathe – 7 – this horror film about three thieves who break into an old blind man’s house borders on exploitation film towards the end. Not that bad.

 Blair Witch – 6 – not as bad as everyone said it was. It’s a soft reboot of 99’s Blair Witch Project but with a modern horror twist—which means it relies mainly on jump scares and unnecessary use of found footage tropes rather than atmosphere building and genuine terror. I still thoroughly enjoyed it and thought the last 15 minutes or so were really spooky. The creature design was really great and the way time moved was an interesting horror device. If you liked the first one but were bored by it then you’ll probably like this one because it moves a bit faster although you might be bored by it too. Oh but side note: that drone scene was fucking stupid.

 Over The Garden Wall – 10 – this 10 episode cartoon network animated miniseries aired in the fall of 2014 and follows two boys as they wander through the woods to find their way back home. It stars Elijah Wood, Christopher Lloyd, Melanie Lynskey, John Cleese, Tom Lennon, and Tim Curry among others. The story itself is inspired by Dante Alighieri’s Inferno and the music is inspired by early 20th century Americana folk music. It’s literally the single most charming thing I’ve ever seen and it’s an absolute MUST SEE.

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 Doctor Strange – 7 – not much to say about this one but I liked it. The visuals were top notch and although Dr Strange is basically just Tony Stark pt 2, it makes sense considering how much lesser of a role Stark will play in later movies. I’m really excited for the new Thor movie now.

 The Purge Election Year – 4 – each Purge movie is better than the last and this third installment is still a 4. That’s pretty much all there is to say. There are some legitimately hilarious parts in this though—all unintentional.

 O Brother, Where Art Thou? – 7 – another silly Coen film and one of their most accessible. Good film based on the Odyssey.

 Arrival – 9 – Dennis Villeneuve is quickly becoming one of my favorite directors after last year’s Sicario and now 2016’s Arrival. This is a film about humanity, the complete frivolity of our problems, and how staying divided will be our undoing. The cinematography is breathtaking, the score is great (much of it follows the circle of 5ths, which will make sense after watching), the acting is good, and the film just has a beautiful sense of scope to it. I encourage you to watch this and DON’T WATCH ANY TRAILERS OR READ ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I assure you; you’ll want to go into this as blind as possible (and you should never watch trailers anyway they literally ruin films).  In Trump’s America this movie is even more important so please I urge you to watch this.

 Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them – 5 – the Phantom Menace of the Harry Potter universe, Fantastic Beasts has so much exposition and forced world building that anyone who hasn’t seen the first 8 hp films will probably have a tough time figuring out what’s going on. The opening sequence is literally just a montage of newspaper headlines saying how terrible this dark wizard is, which was done in harry potter but over the span of roughly 3 movies rather than 1 minute. Overall positives: the creature designs were fun, Jacob was rad, the humor was effective, the cgi wasn’t /that/ bad, newt’s hair was wavy af (and he was a hufflepuff, which I appreciate), and the costumes may get an Oscar nomination. As for the cons: so much panning, craning, and tracking that I could barely see what was going on due to low framerate, the first 10-15 minutes are a suicide squad level editing disaster, the pacing was weird at times, they revealed who the main antagonist was in his actual first scene, too many plotlines interweaved, inexcusably bad framing in a few shots, and the ending was a little bit Chekhov’s gun but was pretty much deus ex machina. This just didn’t feel as magical as the harry potter films and, like star wars 7, it feels like a failed attempt to recapture what made people love the franchise in the first place. It was a very flawed film but I still enjoyed it and will watch it again.

 Moana – 6 – VERY overrated but still good. How a lot of people felt about Frozen is how I feel about this movie. The animation was incredible, the voice acting was great, the songs were good (although not nearly as catchy or memorable as Frozen, save for Shiny) and it ends up being another Tangled, a movie I enjoyed but will forget about very soon—hell I’ve already forgotten about it. Just think about how long Frozen was a thing. People were talking about Frozen for months after and I haven’t seen anyone mention Moana since its opening weekend. Overall a huge disappointment. Zootopia was the far superior animated feature this year.

 The Handmaiden – 8 – my first Park Chan-wook film and I loved it ! This film is fucking enigma for the first half and then as soon as one detail is revealed it suddenly opens up and becomes an incredible psychological thriller. I honestly was not enjoying this film for the first act or so because of how seemingly meaningless it was but it really shaped up to be one of my favorites of the year. Never before have I experienced a film that made me 180 on opinion during the course of its runtime. Be warned: don’t see this with your parents or anyone you would feel awkward watching porn with because this shit is basically pornography at MANY points during the film. I don’t know if my friend and his brother have forgiven me yet.

 Unedited Footage of a Bear – 8 – there’s a tl;dr at the bottom of this one because it’s a little long and expository. I was watching an idubbbz video (https://youtu.be/5Bs45yITIt0) back in November and many criticized how unfunny and bizarre it was compared to his other content. People started to speculate that he was doing a metafictional series about his channel along the lines of alantutorial (https://www.youtube.com/user/alantutorial), a channel in which performance artist Alan Resnick plays a fictionalized version of himself who is depicted as a mentally ill young man obsessed with making tutorial videos. This alantutorial series is a commentary on poorly made tutorial videos that flood youtube, as well as social media in general and the overwhelming desire for likes, favorites, going viral, etc. after discovering Alan Resnick and watching all his videos I started to seek out his other content and I found this short film that aired as part of Adult Swim’s infomercial slot at 4 a.m. This may sound familiar to some as the timeslot for Too Many Cooks, which went viral. This short film, titled Unedited Footage of a Bear, can be watched here: https://youtu.be/2gMjJNGg9Z8 and parodies those commercials you’ll often see on tv about drugs that are peddled to mentally ill people without proper testing. This film depicts addiction as a force that can and will ruin your life, your family’s life, and will kill you if left unchecked. There’s an explanation you can watch here: https://youtu.be/_2e5ia9j0TA that explains it really well and is worth the watch. tl;dr: cool 10-minute short horror film about addiction by performance artist Alan Resnick – check it out.

Twin Peaks (Pilot) – 8 – it was good

 This House Has People In It – 8 – hey look another Alan Resnick short film. you can watch it here: https://youtu.be/x-pj8OtyO2I and the attempted explanation is here: https://youtu.be/mjBTAnCUbZc because this one is pretty complicated compared to footage of a bear. also worth the watch simply for the L O R E

 No Country For Old Men – 10 – one of the best movies of this century hands down. not sure if I rate it quite as high as There Will Be Blood though, which came out the same year. The Coen’s crowning achievement (although you could argue that title belongs to The Big Lebowski for reasons)

 Moonlight – 9 – a very heavy coming of age film about a young boy living in the south who attempts to find himself while growing up in an incredibly unforgiving environment. beautiful film and I’m excited to see it again. very very important film for LGBT issues.

 Nocturnal Animals – 8 – one of the biggest surprises this year. I LOVED this movie and it stayed with me for days. as soon as it started I made a mental note that I’d have to really pay attention to everything because I figured it would be heavy with metaphor and symbolism and boi was I right about that. Amy Adams and Jake Gyllenhaal give great performances and I honestly can’t tell you the last time I got so emotionally invested in a film. people have criticized Adams’ performance as melodramatic and cold, which is the point because she’s not supposed to be likeable. the narrative structure is refreshing and fun to piece together and the visuals were pretty alright. my favorite part of this movie was piecing together all the metaphors (of which there are many) and figuring out what the events of the Nocturnal Animals manuscript (in the film) means for the characters. It’s been a very polarizing film apparently, which surprised me since it doesn’t really try to be anything more than it is. It definitely rewards close observation but I can’t guarantee everyone will like this one. I won’t say more because going into it blind is the best way but I do recommend it. Tense, emotional, gripping, funny. It’s good.

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 Star Wars Rogue One – 8 – I really enjoyed this. I probably don’t need to say much because it’s star wars but this was the best star wars film since Empire Strikes Back in my opinion (although episode III wasn’t that bad). the characters were a little flat, some of the humor was out of place, and the first 30 minutes had bad pacing, but overall it was great. the action in this one was insane and I’m so happy that we finally got to see a proper space battle (and holy shit is it a good one). this has one of my favorite moments of the entire series and it actually feels like a star wars movie unlike episode VII.

 La La Land – 10 – I’m at a loss for words honestly. This movie is so fucking good. The soundtrack is incredible, the choreography is awesome, the cinematography is BEAUTIFUL, and the performances are wonderful. I could keep thinking of adjectives or I could just tell you to go see this movie as soon as you can. Best movie of the year hands down. LA has never looked so fucking good OH MAN please go see this movie you’ll surely regret it if you don’t. OH and we went to see this in the Vista Theater in LA, which was a once in a lifetime experience. See this in the most old-Hollywood theater you can because it actually improves it if that’s possible. Now there are some flaws, mainly in third act pacing, but it’s so enjoyable that it doesn’t matter.

 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – 10 – it’s a classic and could be considered a perfect film. not much to say but it’s definitely one of my favorites of all time. never gets old.

 Home Alone – 8 – this was the first time I watched Home Alone and I liked it.

 Assassin’s Creed – 6 – the neckbeard-y guy doing anime runs up and down the stairs of the theatre behind us really set the tone for this movie. I didn’t hate it but it was pretty dreary and I feel like almost nothing happened. I don’t think it translates to the screen well but it did capture the feel of the games, or at least the first one. Let’s just say after seeing this I went on a mission to watch at least one more movie so it wouldn’t be my last of the year.

 Swiss Army Man – 7 – the praise for this movie was a bit unwarranted. It’s really silly and touching but it wasn’t the modern masterpiece that everyone was saying it was. maybe I missed something but the corpse of Daniel Radcliffe farting is only tolerable and funny for so long. I will say that this is one of the most unique movies I’ve ever seen, so I’ll give it props for that, and the soundtrack was actually incredible. I enjoyed it very much and need to watch it again but it was alright.

Come Together – 8 – an H&M short film by Wes Anderson that can be watched here: https://youtu.be/VDinoNRC49c . It was cute and I guess it’ll hold me over until Isle of Dogs, which comes out in 2018 (no it won’t)

 The Lobster – 8 – this absurd commentary on relationships and their influence on society is just bizarre and has a wonderfully dry performance from Colin Farrell and, well, every other actor too. this film is just crazy and I really need to watch it again. Expect it to be on my next year’s list as well. TOP TEN RELEASED IN 2016 xxx 10 – The Nice Guys

9 – Hell or High Water

8 – The Handmaiden

7 – Don’t Think Twice

6 – The Witch

5 – Moonlight

4 – Nocturnal Animals

3 – Green Room

2 – Arrival

1 – La La Land honorable mentions: Captain Fantastic, Horace and Pete, The Neon Demon, Make Happy recommendations: Frances Ha, Mistress America, Over the Garden Wall, The World of Tomorrow, Midnight in Paris, Me, and Earl, and the Dying Girl, The Lobster and finally the award for worst movie of the year goes to ,,,,, SUICIDE SQUAD duh. In 2016 I watched 77 movies, which is terrible considering I watched 124 last year and 92 in 2014. That gap from September to November really killed me in that regard and hopefully it won’t happen again or for as long next time. Overall this was actually a pretty weak year for movies it seems. Looking at my top of the year list, it looks significantly weaker than last year’s which had The Revenant, It Follows, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, Sicario, and Brooklyn. If anyone has questions or suggestions about anything I’d love to have a discussion so feel free. Here’s to another year of great movies. also if you’d like to follow me on twitter @thejoeydavis please do because I’m a huge slut for likes and I desperately want and need your approval. thanks for reading

#movies of 2016 #joey davis #joseph davis