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smells-like-mettaton · 3 years

Note

thick fog and papyrus? srsly tho what is up with his battle room lmao

Worth Fighting For

Rating: G Word Count: 1535 Read on AO3: here

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“Are you sure you want to do this, brother?” Papyrus asked, even though he knew what the answer would be. Sans was the most stubborn monster Papyrus knew.

Sans would probably say the same about him. Their collective stubbornness led to month-long face offs over a discarded sock. Or to Papyrus cooking spaghetti three times a day, waiting for Sans to crack and tell him what was wrong with it.

Or to them standing at the edge of town, shrouded in thick fog.

“I’m sure.” Sans’s voice felt almost muffled by the mist.

That was part of the point. Anyone could train when they could hear and see their opponent. It would take a skilled fighter to battle under these conditions.

And Sans wanted to be skilled. Papyrus could hardly deny him that, after all the time he’d begged to train under Undyne.

“Right.” Papyrus gave a sharp nod, though Sans probably couldn’t see it. “Don’t expect me to go easy on you, br—”

A bone collided with his exposed spine. He yelped, though it was more from surprise than pain.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Through a gap in the fog, Papyrus caught his brother winking.

“Sans! That move is unsportsmanlike!” Papyrus rubbed his vertebrae. Of course, Sans could hardly injure him. Each of his attacks only shaved off one point of damage.

“Good thing fighting’s not a sport, huh?”

“Fighting is more than a sport! It is a way to express the hopes and dreams of your soul!!”

Sans sighed, disturbing the fog enough for Papyrus to see him again.

“Look, bro. I just want to be able to keep myself from getting dusted. I’ll save the dreams for when I’m sleeping.”

Papyrus’s brow pinched. Listening to Sans talk, you would think he never wanted to fight. But he did. Papyrus could see it in the darkness of his eyesockets, in the way his jaw set whenever something upset him.

Something had made Sans angry. Maybe even… frightened. None of Papyrus’s attempts to draw the truth from him succeeded, however.

Papyrus wanted to help Sans channel that anger into something more productive. Fighting could be productive! It could bring monsters together in ways nothing else could! But… not the way Sans went about it.

Maybe Papyrus just needed to show him.

A row of bones—carefully calibrated not to do damage—sprouted from the ground towards Sans. Papyrus couldn’t see him dodge, but he didn’t hear the telltale crack of bone on bone.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t go easy on me.”

A beam of light shot through the fog, and Papyrus sidestepped, his boots crunching in the thick snow. Several more beams followed it, but the pattern was easy to predict. The few times when Papyrus failed to dodge, the lasers barely tickled.

A muttered curse came from his left. Papyrus turned towards it, but didn’t ready another attack.

“Starting with your strongest attack is—”

“Bad sportsmanship?” Sans snapped.

“No. It’s just bad strategy.” Papyrus approached the sound of his voice. He bumped into a few of Sans’s blasters on the way and gave each of them a quick pet. “It’s safer to let your opponent underestimate you. Once you have them lulled into a false sense of security, you can secure your victory!”

“I don’t have time for that kind of strategy!” Sans sounded even angrier than Papyrus had expected. Maybe Papyrus was the one doing the underestimating. “I’m not like you! I don’t have hundreds of HP to spare! I’ve got one shot, and if I can’t—if I can’t win, then I’m…”

Papyrus’s eyesockets widened at Sans’s muffled sob.

“Oh, Sans.” He knelt down by his brother, feeling him rather than seeing him. He wrapped him in the tightest hug he could. Sans slumped in his arms, like all the fight had gone out of him.

“No one is going to hurt you. I promise,” Papyrus murmured. “I’ll protect you, brother.”

Sans tensed, and the moment shattered.

“You shouldn’t have to.” Sans pushed him back. His eyesockets had gone pitch black, two empty holes in the sea of white. “I’m—I was always supposed to take care of you, and I can’t—if I can’t stop the…”

Papyrus didn’t know what he was talking about, but expecting answers from Sans was like expecting Undyne to go a month without burning down her house. It wasn’t going to happen.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, ignoring the hurt that Sans’s shove had caused. Hurt that went deeper than any bone attack or laser.

Perhaps he deserved it. Even if he didn’t know everything, he knew he had messed up.

“You’re right,” Papyrus admitted, making Sans’s head tilt in confusion. “I want you to be strong and great, too! In fact, you're already very strong and great! But we’re safe here, brother. Undyne and the Royal Guard will protect us when a human comes.”

He didn’t bother saying that he would be joining the Royal Guard. It was a matter of when at this point, surely. But the thought wouldn’t comfort Sans at the moment.

“‘M not worried about humans,” he muttered.

“Then… what are you worried about?”

Silence. Like the fog had stolen away even the slight sound of Sans’s rattling bones.

“...Doesn’t matter.” Sans’s eyesockets closed. “Forget it.”

For once, Papyrus decided to face his brother head-on. The way Undyne would.

“I cannot just forget something that is bothering you, brother.”

“Heh. We already have, though. Over and over and over again…”

“Then this time, we should help each other remember!” Papyrus reached out and felt for Sans’s shoulder, then gave it a comforting squeeze.

“Nah. Too much effort.”

Papyrus felt Sans shrug. Annoyance bubbled up in him, but he forced himself to let it go. He should’ve known better than to expect Sans to face his problems head-on. He wasn’t Undyne.

Papyrus blinked. “You’re not Undyne.”

Sans’s sockets cracked open in a confused squint. “Uh, yeah? Did I hit you too hard earlier?”

“No!” He shook his head quickly. “I mean! You don’t have the stats that Undyne and I do!”

“You don’t gotta rub it in.”

“Ugh, brother!” Papyrus sprung to his feet, his hands on his hips. “I’m trying to say, we need to train you differently! I’ve been doing this all wrong!”

“Nah, I’ve just been making it hard on you.” Sans sounded guilty. “Sorry. I’m not a real good student.”

“False! I simply need to recalibrate your curriculum! Nyeh heh heh!!”

A short time later, they again faced off in the dense fog. But this time, Papyrus encouraged Sans to use every underhanded trick in his arsenal.

“Don’t forget your shortcuts!” Papyrus called into the white void as he hurled another wave of bones.

“No good,” Sans huffed, presumably while dodging. “Can’t use ‘em... while anyone’s looking. Magic’s weird... like that.”

“Well, I cannot look with all this fog in the way! And whoever has a bone to pick with you will surely blink at one point or another!”

“...Alright, I’ll give it a shot.”

And he did. Lasers blasted at Papyrus again. Blue attacks mixed with regular attacks mixed blue soul magic mixed with strange platforms that Papyrus discovered he could jump on without being harmed.

Until the platforms slid out from under him, dropping him into a spike-trap of bone attacks.

“Clever!” Papyrus called out, escaping with a blue magic-assisted leap. With that many attacks at once, his HP had actually taken a dent. “I bet you could create a maze with those! Any enemy would surely be confounded, then blasted to their senses!”

“Huh, that’s not a bad idea…”

Eventually Papyrus announced the end of the training session. He may have an abundance of HP, but Sans had kept him on his toes during the entire sparring match. There had been no time to sneak a bite of his cinnamon bun.

“So how’d I do? Think I’ll be joining you in the Guard any time soon?” Sans winked as they strode out of the fog.

“You want to join the Guard too?” Papyrus beamed until Sans looked away awkwardly.

“Nah, that was just a dumb joke. I’ve got enough to look out for with bein’ a sentry.”

Papyrus’s eyes narrowed. That was a pun, but at least it was of better quality than usual.

“Very well! It’s important to know your limits! If only so you can more effectively push them! Nyeh heh heh!” He clapped a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “And you certainly did so today! I’m very proud of you, brother.”

Sans’s head snapped up, his eyelights glowing brighter than Papyrus had seen in ages. He quickly schooled his expression into something less expressive, though.

“Geez, bro, all this sweet talk’s gonna go to my head.” He rapped on the side of his skull.

“Good! You need something to fill up all that empty space!”

Sans laughed out loud at that. “Thanks.”

Papyrus knew he wasn’t being thanked for the joke. Still, he played along.

“Of course! That’s what brothers are for!”

As long as Papyrus was around, Sans would never have to fight. But if Sans could feel more confident in himself…

That was something worth fighting for.

#fic tag #papyrus #sans #skelebros #tali writes #prompt requests #this was a fun one to do characterization wise

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danniburgh · 3 years

Text

Rushingly Bittersweet (Javier Peña x f!reader) part 20

Pairing: Javier Peña x ofc//f!reader with name.

Summary: After the fall of Escobar everything starts happening way too fast for Javier; his raise, his new office, his new team, the Cali cartel’s operation, the sudden arrival of a new agent that was transferred to his team for no apparent reason, the way he was falling in love with her almost unintentionally.

And he couldn’t seem to stop any of that.

Word count: +4.3k

Chapter warnings: more feelings, the whole truth, brief mention of drugs, a lot of tears lmao

A/N: This chapter is set after season three, episode nine. // I AM SO FUCKING SORRY in advance, i think this and the next 2 are gonna be heavy for me and you so... yeah, WE ARE ALMOST DONE GUYS KEEP YOUR CHINS UP THIS IS GONNA END WELL!!!!

ao3 // fic index // Masterlist // fic playlist

comments and reblogs are eternally appreciated 💓 let me know if you wanna be tagged

←previous // next→

gif: @bestintheparsec

If Javier hadn’t seen you cry like you were crying in front of him, he would have thought it was a joke.

A bad, sick, horrible joke.

But there you were, shaking and crying and bracing yourself and standing in front of him telling him you knew things he didn’t know and your name wasn’t your name and he wasn’t even your boss as if he not only needed to know he was being used but he deserved it. As if he could avoid to think everything you had told him before wasn’t a complete lie. Bullshit.

He stood up straight and took his eyes off you. He couldn’t bear to look at you shaking like a small puppy trapped in the cold rain, he couldn’t bear to look at you like that because he was fighting with himself and the need to rush and hold you and tell you everything was going to be fine when he knew and you knew and he knew you knew nothing would be the same. As if he wasn’t angry, furious, infuriated.

You let out a sob, because you knew he was about to avoid looking at you at all costs.

“Well,” Javier let out, “I’m sorry if I don’t say it’s nice to meet you,” and then he laughed bitterly, shaking his head, “who the fuck are you?” his face quirked in something you, between tears, could recognize as anger and pain.

“I–” you mumbled, but he cut you off.

“I’m giving you one chance to explain everything to me,” he hardened his voice and you couldn’t seem to stop yourself from crying, he lifted a finger in front you, “just one, take it,”

“Javier,” you whispered, and he shook his head.

“Are you even DEA?” he scoffed and crossed his arms on his chest, “since you knew things I didn’t and your name isn’t your name, are you even an agent?” you only got to nod “so why,” he breathed in before continuing “why are there CIA reports with your signature?” he turned with a scowl on his face and with one hand he skimmed through all the pages on that file, “you kept tabs on me,” he said, purposefully not looking at you “fuck,” he tapped several times on the last one “you did fool me.”

“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” you sighed out, it was really hard for you to breathe.

“What wasn’t supposed to happen?” he chewed out “you telling me? or you with me? or you in my bed? or me fucking you? what?”

“Stop,” you pleaded, not having the energy anymore to chase his eyes “let me explain,”

“No,” he shook his head and flared his nose in anger “you’re not worth listening to, get out,”

“At least let me tell you the truth,” you pleaded again.

“I have it here!” he smacked his hand on the files and you jumped out, startled at the way he raised his voice out of the sudden.

But you didn’t blame him, you only blamed yourself, but that self-preservation instinct inside of you was forcing you to keep on pushing him to listen to you and your reasons. It was forcing you to keep pushing him, even when you knew he was already at his limit.

“Please, let me explain everything,” you pleaded again. Javier shook his head and fought himself harder to stop from looking at you and reach for you and hold you because you just sounded so broken. But you were breaking him.

“Get out,” he whispered, half a plea and half a demand, you shook your head.

“Read them,” you sniffed and cleared your throat “read the last few reports, please,” you were hating how much you were shaking and he glanced at you for less than a second, and you cried at how short it felt. Javier took you in with that glance and as if it wasn’t enough, his chest tugged at the sight of your puffy eyes and the tears that dampened your cheeks. He indulged and skimmed through them “see how they get shorter? see how they get briefer? how they get–”

“Shittier? he cut you off “so you did a bad job, what about it?”

You bit your lip and breathed in and out twice.

“That was the point!” you let out, “fuck, Javier,” you finally found your voice inside your chest and you went off “I’ve been wanting to tell you everything for the longest fucking time, I just couldn’t, I swear I wanted to tell you ever–”

“Since when,” he cut you off again. You looked at him and tried to get him to look at you but he didn't.

“There were so many nights where I just wanted to tell you everything, but it just wasn’t safe for either of us! I swear I did planned to te–”

“Since when?” Javier raised his voice again and you sighed.

You closed your eyes for a few seconds, feeling more tears sliding down your cheeks.

Javier allowed himself to glance at you in those few seconds that you closed your yes, and tightened his jaw. How the fuck he had allowed all that shit to happen? He had asked you a question he wasn’t sure if he wanted the answer off, but then you opened your eyes and he painfully unglued his gaze from you.

“Since the first time you kissed me,” you muttered out. Javier shook his head several times and turned around to stop seeing you.

“Get out,” he pointed to the door.

“Javier, please,” your voice broke again and you saw his shoulders raise and drop several times.

“I don’t want to listen to you,” his voice was low and deep and hurt and you bit your lip again to stop your sobs from coming out. You threw your head back and looked at the ceiling, fisting and releasing your hands at the impotence you felt because he just didn’t want to listen to you.

And you knew this would happen, you knew it. How could you’ve been so stupid to think that if you explained everything to Javier, he would just take it as the historical truth and just… forgive you? How could you’ve been such an idiot to believe so little of him?

Since the first time you had seen him you knew he was a man of straights and grays, you knew he hated lies; you knew he hated liars. Hell, he hated himself for being one. But somehow, deep in your chest, in your… heart, you thought, you imagined, you hoped he would make an exception for you.

But he wasn’t, not for you, not for anybody, not even for himself.

He just wasn’t.

Javier closed his eyes once he had you out of his sight, he had so much in his head, the thoughts were pouring down like the restless stream of an overflowing river cascading to a bottomless drowning lake; so much to think about, so much to say, but nothing was coming out.

He was hurt, he recognized that one emotion. Pure, deep, raw hurt, he could feel it burning his insides and turning his guts into ashes. Fuck. He didn’t like the pain, he had spent years and years of his life running away from the pain. How could he had been so stupid to allow himself to get to that point? How could he had been such a fucking idiot to let you do that to him? How? When he had become an expert at running away from his own emotions? Why?

He brushed a hand through his hair and tried to regain his composure, but it was nearly impossible. The pain inside him started to feel physical, it was as if someone had shot him directly on the chest over his kevlar; the air knocked out of his lungs. He was struggling to breathe properly. He was about to burst.

He felt a foreign sting inside his throat that he knew exactly what meant. He wasn’t about to cry. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t give you the satisfaction of showing you how much he cared.

Even if you already knew.

“Javier,” you called him.

“Get out,”

“I will, I promise I’ll go,” you sobbed out and Javier felt disgusted by himself for being so weak at the sound of your sobs, he rolled his hands into fists and forced his body to stay put in place “I just want you to understand why I did it.” Javier rolled his eyes and raised a hand to press his eyes shut.

“Get the fuck out, please just get out,” his voice sounded like a plea and a beg and a demand altogether and you snapped at the way he was just trying to escape from an explanation that you were more than willing to give him. An explanation he deserved.

“No!” you raised your own voice, “you dragged me into this! now you have to listen to me!” you accused. Javier turned around, his face quirked in confusion and bewilderment and pain and anger.

“Me?” he raised his voice as well, his finger landing on his chest several times “I dragged you into this? you’re not a child! you made a choice!” he let out, shaking his head.

“I tried to grab onto any excuse to not start this, Javier, you know that!” you reminded him, and he let his hands rest on his waist “Javier, it was never my intention to hurt you.”

Javier barked out a laugh.

A stinging, humourless, deep hurting laugh that landed inside the crevices of your chest and hung from every nerve of your being.

“Well, I’m hurt,” he said, finally facing you “you lied to me,” his face was a mess of emotions you couldn’t read “you lied to me on my fucking face.” he gritted out, walking towards you.

“I know, and I’m sorry” you said under your breath, his face was inches away from yours and he frowned and shook his head. You closed your eyes because out of the sudden his cologne invaded your nostrils and you cried harder at the thought of never getting to smell him again.

“And you know what’s even worse?” he rhetored, you opened your eyes and quickly his eyes were on yours, but that time, his brown, soft eyes were hardened, as if fossils had taken over his orbs and his face was a mean scowl and his hands were so far away from your body rolled into fists that it ached deep in your chest how much you were hurting him, “that I fell for it, for all of it, and I fell for you.”

Javier didn’t seem to realize what he had said, but you did and as he put distance between him and you, your eyes filled with thick tears once again, and you didn’t try to stop them from falling and falling and falling.

He fell. He fell for you.

How? How could you let everything go to that point? You knew you knew it, you fool.

Crash, crash, crash, crash.

Ugly, messy, bloody, heart wrenching.

“Was it worth it?” he asked, putting his hands on his waist once again, looking at you, expectant. You shook your head. “then why did you do it?”

His eyes on you were heavy, you remembered that time he looked at you in a crowded elevator and made you forget everything about yourself, and that time you wondered if he was ever going to look at you like that. And there, with him expecting the explanation you were offering, you had your answer.

And you saw him, standing before you, hands on hips, his thinking stance, waiting for you to finally deliver the so-called explanation you wanted and pleaded to give him. But your throat was closed, your voice was nowhere to be found, and you wanted to crawl into a ball and just rock yourself to a deep, all-forgetting sleep.

God, you were so tired.

It took you an entire minute to find your voice from the deep confines of your voided, pained chest.

“Re–remember what I told you the first time we mad–the first time we were… together?” you sobbed out. He closed his eyes and nodded.

How he could fucking forget? It had elated him, that entire fucking day, everything seemed so hopeful, he remembered thinking that he didn’t want to do what he did to you with anyone else. Before you could continue, he allowed himself to grieve that moment and you saw him raise a hand to his chest.

“That was true, most of it,” you assured him. Javier didn’t look at you once he opened his eyes and you, yet again, tried to search for his eyes. Fuck the hour you had let them become your comfort. “after what happened in México, I did get suspended and, fuck,” you brushed away your tears, freeing the way for new ones to fall “I really liked this job,” you chuckled sorely to yourself “but the drugs, and… everything else, I just knew I was screwed,” you sniffed. Javier bit the inside of his cheek and sighed.

Yet another fucking thing you two were more than alike.

He was hating it, loathing it; the way he wanted to brush every single goddamned tear that was falling down your face, the way he just wanted to reach to you, to let you feel him, the way he fucking needed to touch you and then wake up for whatever new fucking nightmare he was having.

“I was marked,” you choked down another sob and sniffed again, you hated being this vulnerable, this exposed, you were dropping your mask and the process of peeling it was so wretchedly painful. You hated that your vision was so flooded with tears you weren’t able to read Javier and just get a glance, a tiny peak at what he was feeling, “marked not only for being a woman, but by every single shitty thing I did up there,” he sighed “so, the CIA approached me, and took advantage of my situation.”

Javier wanted to scream, wanted to punch something, break anything, he wanted so much to stop relating to you and your reasons. It was as if he was looking at himself in the mirror and he didn’t like it. It was as if some all mighty God had already realized what he had done in the past and just started to punish him. And he was so angry that you were that punishment, that you, of all things, of everything he thought good, were the one chosen to deliver his punishment.

You, oh so perfect you, so beautiful, so smart, so good, so strong you. You were the one chosen to break him. He wanted to stop seeing the undeniable parallel between you and him being forced to do things by the pure nature of your jobs, by leverage and advantage and just be angry, he just wanted to feel his anger and allow himself to hate you, but he just couldn’t. Not when you were there, standing in front of him, bawling out everything for him, undressing yourself to him, yet again, passing him the control of things. Ironic. He thought, he always had the impression he already had it.

“A precarious situation,” you explained, wetting your lips and taking a deep breath “they assured my job back if I took a six-month assignment for them, they wanted me to ke–”

“Keep an eye on me,” Javier cut you, looking at you with hardened, glistening eyes. You had to drop your gaze to the floor. What the fuck were you doing to him?

Fool, you fool, you stupid, horrible fool. Don’t you see you’re hurting him? Just leave him alone!

“Yeah,” you sighed out, sniffing again, seeing how your tears dropped straight to the floor, “and report all your movements back to them to… shit.”

“To what?”

You shook your head, not being able to lift your gaze from the floor, Javier looked at you and studied what he thought he knew about you. Which at that point he thought it was nothing but your actual name and the way your body quirked and spasmed under his touch. But maybe that was fake too. He saw the way you were hunched under yourself and an amazing yet brief moment of clarity struck him and he knew what you were going to say, fuck he knew, and he let himself smile at the expectation of your answer. For once having a little bit of a leverage.

“To avoid another Los Pepes scenario.” you whispered.

He laughed bitterly. And your chest shrunk at the sound.

Of fucking course.

That’s how you knew, that why you asked him about that the same fucking day you had told him about why you were in Colombia, the day you lied to him, to his face, on his bed, in his arms, after he had let you fuck him, after he had devoured you for the first time

Fucking shit, how he wanted to scream.

His smile became a snarl as soon as the memory of your body pressed against his came back to his head.

“Fuck me,” he shook his head and tightened his jaw.

“I didn’t understand at first why they looked at you like such a menace,” you said, not daring to look at him, and Javier hated it, he hated how you had hung your head low and looked at the carpeted floor, he hated it because he had seen you in your most confident self so many times, he had engraved in his mind the way you would handle yourself as if you were the owner of every building you ever stepped on, but then? right there? you just looked like a selfless child, like a hurt, abandoned girl. Fuck him. How could he keep thinking about you like that when while you looked like it you were destroying everything he had ever thought of you and whatever the fuck it was you two had? “then I met you.”

“So I’m a menace?” he snarked.

“For people like them? of course you are, Javier,” you let out a sigh and shook your head “they painted you as this… monster, that didn’t care about anything but getting shit done in any way you could,” you shrugged and lifted your head to look at him “but you do care, you care a lot.”

He didn’t say anything at the last statement you blurted out.

A thick, foggy silence fell upon you, you could feel it prickling around your face, eating your tears, you were sure that if you pulled out your tongue you could taste it, you could feel it, sneaking inside your ears and screaming at you. You never thought a silence could be so loud. But it was, a deafening silence.

Javier turned and walked to the desk, sitting on the edge and skimming through the other files that you had handed him, some of them were just more information about the corrupt politicians and some more about the cartel in itself. He didn’t say a word about the obvious and illicit origin of the files and for that you were grateful.

“I really thought,” your voice broke the silence again, and he seemed to ignore you “I thought I was doing good,” you closed your eyes, he wasn’t looking at you, yet again, “and then I got to see how things really were down here and… I knew instantly everything was just bullshit, just a fucking game,” Javier kept looking at the files and reading them and you wanted to beg him to look at you, you wanted to rush at him and grab his face and make him look at you in the eyes and tell you something, anything, to yell at you, to scream at you, because at the way his silence felt you were sure his screams would hurt less, “they played you, and they played me, and… I’m sorry.”

“Why a DEA agent?” he questioned, closing the file he had just finished reading his hand resting on his thigh and the other on his hip, you frowned “why did they send down someone from the DEA instead of one of their own spies?”

You bit your lip, looking at the way his eyes were empty, void of any display of emotion, looking at the way he turned his face sterner, just as it was the first day you’d met him.

“Uh–because it was cheaper, to just create some sub-identity and I already knew the protocols.” you explained slowly, more for it to sink in to you than to him.

Javier hummed and returned his eyes to the next file, the one with your file. The real one.

You stood there while he read it. Trying to figure out what was going through his head, but as you were so emotionally spent you really couldn’t for the life of you read him anymore.

Javier felt his breath hitch as he read your real name, where you went to school, the fact that you had a master and the amount of time you had spent in México.

And then he chuckled. Under the name of your DEA adjacent’s name and your assigned partner there was your callsign: Flor.

He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and pointer and took a deep breath.

“What about your partner?” he cleared his throat “the one that sent you all that intel.”

Your chest dropped again and you felt your eyes fill with tears. Pure guilt and sadness.

“No one in México knew I got suspended, they just thought I got transferred, y’know?” you brushed the few tears that escaped your eyes “so I really did ask them for help, to give us anything on the narcos as we were aware of the connection,” Javier then saw you cover your mouth and sob “I fucking got Marcos fired.” your voice was muffled by your mouth and Javier had to, once again, fight the urge to grab you and pull you flush against his chest and comfort you.

“What else did you lie about?” he asked, not waiting for your sobs to die down, you shook your head.

“No–nothing, I sw–swear,” you sobbed out.

“Okay,” Javier stood from the desk and walked towards you. And for a second, a brief second, you allowed yourself to imagine that he wasn’t going to ask you what he did, and instead, he would brush your tears away, hold you or tell you that he forgave you. What a stupid little thought. “I think we’re done here.”

“Javi,” you called him and he flinched at how high pitched your voice became from the sobbing, he wasn’t looking at you, not really. His eyes were looking past you, “can you look at me?” you begged.

Fuck the hour you had let his eyes become your comfort.

“Get out,” he said, serious faced, lookin at nothing and everything but you.

“Jus–just, look at me? please?”

Javier closed his eyes, bit his lip and shook his head.

And pointed at the door.

“Right,” you tried to control the incoming sobs that were inundating your chest and throat and stood up straight, lining your shoulders and closing your eyes at how hard it was to leave, it was as if you had him glued to you and then you had to peel him off you, you looked at him one last time before turning around and walking towards the door, grabbing your bag in the way.

You didn’t even reach the door to the hallway when you exploded; you had to cover your mouth as you turned away from the entrance and propped yourself on the wall.

You felt like your heart might have actually stopped and you could only imagine how Javier felt.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you mumbled out, as if he had been still in front of you, as if he could listen.

You had to force yourself to walk into the open elevator and press the lobby button, because you knew that if you didn’t, you would’ve run back to his office and begged Javier to hold you, beg him to forgive you, even when you knew you didn’t deserve it.

Javier saw you walk out and watched your figure shrink at the office door, he had to close his eyes to stop from seeing the way you broke after everything you had told him. He had to turn around and grip the edge of the desk to physically stop himself from running to you, anchor himself to you and tell you he needed you.

Fuck the hour he had let your body become his comfort.

Once he was sure you weren’t there anymore, he opened his eyes, the files you had handed him were in front of him, one last file left to open.

Reluctantly, he took it and opened it.

“Shit,” he whispered. Feeling his breath hitch and his heart stop beating for half a second.

It was your resignation letter.

Just then, and only then, Javier let himself drown in his pain.

“Shit,” he spat through gritted teeth.

God how he wanted to hate you, he really wanted to hate you. But he couldn’t bring himself to turn all the love he had for you into hate. He couldn’t even when he really wanted to.

The guard at the front door didn’t even glance at you when you walked through the embassy doors, and for that you were grateful. When you realized you had driven with Javier to work, you had to cover your mouth again to muffle another sob.

You weren’t even outside the building yet and you were already missing him like crazy.

←previous // next→

pedrito's perma list: @queenofthefaceless @northernpunk @pascalesque @sleep-tight1 @cheekygeek05 @bii-aan-ckaa @letaliabane @starlightmornings @mouthymandalorianalso @supernaturalgirl @metalarmsandmanbuns @purplepascal042 @asta-lily @greeneyedblondie44

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#javier peña #Javier Pena #javier peña x reader #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña fanfic #narcos #narcos fanfic #narcos fanfiction #narcos netflix #Pedro Pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #Jose Pedro Balmaceda Pascal #pedro pascal characters #rushingly bittersweet tag

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lizacstuff · 3 years

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Edser / Sen Cal Kapimi ep 30+ asks

(Asks under the cut)

@jan31 Hi Liza, in the fragman Selin was in a white dress, was it a wedding dress?

Hello! I don’t think so. I think that’s what she was going to wear to the dinner she’d planned for the four of them (from the fragman, Eda, Serkan, Deniz and herself) but BOOM goes the MELO. Thank you Melo, lock that witch away so Serkan and Eda are not haunted by her evil presence, and can maybe spend some time together.

Though, you know, I wouldn’t mind if it was a wedding dress. We know Serkan ain’t gonna marry her, so if they go so far as to put her in a dress, then we’re on the precipice of her humiliation and departure which can’t come too soon for me.

jan31 Hi Liza. Please can you explain to me the fireside scene. It was so beautiful, emotional and just what we needed. Were the lights going out representing his sub conscious and the darkness he feels, reaching out for Eda instinctively without realising why. And the lights coming on was the reality that he did not remember anything. Or am I completely going in the wrong direction? Oh and the music gets me every time 😢😢

That scene fired on all cylinders!! I definitely think you’re on to something thinking the lights coming on represented the reality of him still not having any memories back. I think the whole scene was Serkan trying to reconcile this one flash of memory that has been playing in his mind like a movie. He was re-enacting what he saw in his mind, trying to figure out if it was a real memory and if the real memory was about Eda.

I really liked that it was Serkan who asked if they can talk without arguing. Being the calm, rational one is his role in their relationship, how many times have we heard him say “sakin” so it was comforting to see him taking those reigns for a few moments. Also for him to realize that almost all their exchanges had been heightened and fraught with explosive emotions and wanting to talk to her without that.

Both Eda and Serkan with their eyes filled, brimming with tears really got to me. Serkan not really understanding as his heart took over and tried to make sense of what his confused mind couldn’t. Eda’s complete heartbreak when he still didn’t remember anything. However, though, she might not know it, he certainly felt something.

He’s already so drawn to her and he can’t compute why that is... why he fell in love with her during the time he can’t remember, but he’s slowly starting to see how it could have happened. This was an important scene for bridging that gap between them. So freaking beautiful, one of the best acted scenes of the entire series, and the scene that made this episode worthwhile.

Anonymous said: if that scene in front of the fireplace made me so emotional and it was just him trying to remember.. trying to recreate that one moment he was flashbacks of... i cant imagine what the actual scene of him remembering will do to me. both their acting in that scene was something else.

Hande and Kerem were both absolutely fantastic in that scene. Really stellar. Their chemistry never disappoints, but here they were both right in the moment, very raw, very real. I’m impressed with the emotional range they both showed, kudos to both. If nothing else this story is giving them a lot to chew on as actors.

Anonymous said: memory loss doesn't bother me that much if we can have beautiful scenes like the fireplace one. but the main couple is separated again, dating/fake dating other people and they don't have scenes enough to fall in love again

Well they made huge strides in two episodes. From Serkan not willing to even contemplate remembering her, to him sitting down and asking her to tell him a memory of their relationship and saying he wants to know about her and their love. And them having an absolutely beautiful, emotional, heartbreaking moment together.

Serkan made other leaps as well. He went from wanting Eda out of the business to admitting she had talent and freaking out that she was planning to take a vacation. He was already coming up with every excuse to keep her in town and working. They argued as they did in early days, he had moments that obviously hit him as familiar (”I hate you Serkan Bolat.” “The feeling is mutual, lady.”) plus lemons and crusts.

Don’t you worry, he’s already falling in love with her again.

However, I wouldn’t judge what they’re planning too much by this episode. It felt like a transition episode and was pretty unevenly paced. Perhaps the claims of rewrites on this chapter had some truth to them. Because the last 4 episodes were pretty well written, narratively solid, and well paced, and this one was not. It was boring and everything not directly related to a scene where Eda and Serkan were alone was lackluster.

Also I feel like some things were changed and perhaps removed to make allowances for Hande’s injury. She had a strained neck and was in a brace for almost the entirety of the filming of this episode. For instance, I’m pretty sure they did fewer takes with her in several scenes. Specifically you can tell in the scene where Serkan picks her up and carries her back.

We go no full wide angle shot from the front of him carrying her to match with the scene in episode 5. I’m sure they wanted that, but I’m guessing they really had to limit the takes of him picking her up so they couldn’t do multiple camera set ups. The still photographer on set was able to capture it from the front, it’s a shame they couldn’t get the full hero shot for the show, but poor thing was injured and these things happen when you shoot on such tight timelines.

So some of the lack of Edser could have been scenes that were shortened, cut, and amended due to that injury. And others could have been changes in the script perhaps as they figure out if they’re getting another ep order from Fox.

Anonymous said: idk what they’re doing with Ceren but I really need them to keep Deniz as a genuinely good friend. He’s perfect and I don’t want them to make him sketch. Not sure if you’ve seen OTH but that’s the only other show I’ve seen with a great male-female friendship. Other parts of the show are messy to me right now but I’ve been loving this.

I guess my opinion would be unpopular with you, but I am not as enamored with Deniz as others seem to be. Dude was putting a LOT of pressure on Eda to move on and forget Serkan. Serkan has been back approximately 3 days! HE ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND HAS AMNESIA. Can the woman have a chance to catch her breath and assess the situation, before her “good friend” is pressuring her every which way to forget him?? And planning romantic getaways under the guise of friendship? That’s not being a friend, that’s being an opportunist, looking for his chance to slide in there.

So, yeah, I’m not as impressed as most seem to be with Deniz. He made me uncomfortable with that. I hope it was not a harbinger of things to come.

As for OTH, I haven't really watched, but its a fav or my bud @echoapothecary so she might be willing to discuss that show.

Anonymous said: Any chance they decide to throw Melo and Ferit together? I don't care about any of the other side romances going on but these two still have their rights in my book in regards to Edser and they seem like genuinely people?

Let’s do it, baby! I’m on board They both are genuinely good people, and I’m with you, I don’t care about any of the side romances at the moment. Piril and Engin put me to sleep this episode.

Ferit certainly deserves better than psycho Selin, but he also deserves better than petulant Ceren. And while her behavior escalated to WTF levels this ep, she’s always leaned a little this way. I think it was episode 18 (because the girls were in the library before Serkan finds Eda there) that Ceren was furious at Ferit all episode and I honest to goodness had no clue why or what he did.

Anonymous said: at first sçk was about women supporting women and we have one best friend turning against the other FOR A MAN. I'm so disappointed the writers are destroying characters one by one.

No this show has always been about the love story between Eda and Serkan, but it did have some nice female relationships as well. Can I tell you a secret? While I really like the girls dynamic, and hope they don’t destroy Ceren and Eda’s friendship, I really only care about 2 characters, and that’s Eda and Serkan.

So while I get your concern, and Ceren acted OUT OF HER DAMN MIND this episode, if she needs to be a casualty to keep things moving, so be it. I mean I reserve the right to roll my eyes over it, but I’m not going to get too worked up about it. From the beginning Eda and Serkan were the only two characters that matter and they still are.

Anonymous said: I'm kinda concerned that they're actually going to say the next episode takes place on Valentines Day because this would be the biggest timeline error yet. I know we've already been suspending belief here after they touched on New Years so quickly but umm, yeah....

I think you have to just give over to the timeline on this show and not do any math or calculations. We already had July to December take approximately 2 months in straight linear storytelling, LMAO.

Also, if it is valentine’s day and that’s going to be their excuse to give us some actual romance, then I will take it, no complaints. To me that’s one of the easiest things not to be concerned about, because its never going to make sense. I’ll take the holiday themed episodes over strict adherence to the calendar any day.

#Sen Çal Kapımı #sen cal Kapimi #edser #sckask #sck episode discussion #edser discussion #asklizac #sck 1x30 #anonymous

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cheeriosandwine · 3 years

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Fic Writer Tag

Thanks @infinitevariety for the tag! And @tastymoves too, sorry I forgot to do this before!

How many works do you have on AO3?

What’s your total AO3 word count?

48389

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Good Omens and Spider-Man on here

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

We Made a Garden of the Love We Found - 262

The Light Slipping Through - 249

Empty (More) - 199

Milkshake - 199

Yours Is the First Face That I Saw - 172

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! I love getting comments and I try to show my appreciation by responding. Sometimes I'm very slow to get back to people though 😬

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I mostly avoid angst, especially angsty endings, especially especially for Good Omens. I guess the ending to my Doc Ock/Spider-Man fic (Pinned) could be seen as angsty but I purposefully left that story and its ending open to multiple interpretations

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Never done any and I don't know if I ever will. If an idea hits me hard enough I could give it a try

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I've gotten some rude comments but they were mild compared to what I've seen some others get. I just deleted them. I don't have time for people being assholes on stories I'm writing and sharing for free with my limited energy

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Lmao yep, nearly all my fics are smut! I think I tend to write pretty fluffy smut, combined with a lot of kinky stuff. I really love writing aftercare

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No not that I'm aware of

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope not yet

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Sway @tastymoves and I wrote You Spin Me Right Round. It was so much fun to collab, I'd love to do it again!

What’s your all time favourite ship?

Ineffable Partners 😌

Actually my favorite interpretation of them is as queerplatonic partners but I rarely write that because it feels more difficult to write the thing I care about most. There's a level of disconnect for me as an aspec person writing romantic+sexual relationships that makes it easier somehow to be able to put words down. Within the context of fic, it feels like I'm playing games with these characters and very few of the fics I write reflect my "true" headcanons (or they do, but only pieces)

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The one about Aziraphale recovering from trauma from Heaven. That one's a little too real :/ Maybe someday I'll feel able to pick it up again

What are your writing strengths?

Oof here comes the interview questions.

I've been told I wrote hot smut which is incredibly gratifying. I think I'm also good at combining humor and smut. It's too much fun taking something ridiculous and treating it a little too seriously.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I don't use a lot of description because it often doesn't occur to me to describe surroundings. A lot of the time I forget to describe clothing and then if I need to talk about clothes at some point in the fic, I have to read back through and see if I need to add any other details about how they're dressed earlier on. I think it's because I have a pretty vague/blurry visual imagination and most of the time when I'm reading or writing I'm paying most attention to dialogue + emotions + movement. But I could probably do a better job of giving characters a background/setting to interact with

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I've never done it. If I come across it in other stories I don't usually look up translations, so I appreciate if authors include translations. Sometimes I'm able to make an educated guess at what they're saying based on context and/or how common those words are and if I have a little familiarity with the language to recognize some vocab

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Good Omens!

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Nooo I can't pick a favorite! My fics are all special to me in different ways and I have different memories and emotions attached to each of them. Does the deep nostalgia I feel for one outweigh the laughter another brings me? Do I say that I love one fic more than another because it reflects more of me, or because a friend said some very nice things about that one, or because I think I accomplished what I set out to do with this one?

Seriously don't ask me to pick favorites of almost anything, I'm just Like This, I have very few definitively favorite things in most categories. I do have a favorite food though.

(Also please don't interpret the above as me saying that I think I'm some perfect writer and have no flaws. I try to be deliberate about not openly disparaging my work or being negative about the things I create. I have to fight that impulse all the time and it's very important for my mental health that I make an effort to believe my creative efforts are worthwhile even if they're filled with errors or I didn't convey something the way I'd hoped to in my head. It still matters that I took the time to do it. And I'm not gonna apologize for saying that I love every single fic I've written and they are all significant to me in different ways.)

Tagging

I'm not sure who all has been tagged and done this by now, I know I've seen this game shared around several times but I can't keep track of the way it's spiderwebbed across here. So if you haven't been tagged yet and want to be, consider this me tagging you :)

#fic writer tag game

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creepypasta-darling · 3 years

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Yandere Series - Clockwork (fxf)

This sucks. It's not finished. It sucks so bad lmaooo. If you want to continue where I left off or if you guys want me rewrite it I can. Anyways this was the surprise I've been talking about for months now lmao

It was slow, and steady, and small at first. Just a coincidence, never something to freak out over. You had seen the girl with the facemask before. She came into your coffee shop about every third Thursday. She would get the macchiato with a triple shot, and a bagel no cream cheese.

It was normal for her to come around 3 o'clock. She would wear her hair down, only really showing one of her bright green eyes. You figured that she must have been a type of alternative person; her style of clothes being comfy yet dark, and you figured her eyes were contacts. You didn't mind, though. I mean, how could you?

She would spend money at your shop, and she'd sit down at one of the benches in the back. It was hard to see what she was doing, since she sat in the darkest, furthest bench. You could, however, catch her eyes looking up to you from time to time. Then, she'd look back down. The only truly strange thing about her is that she never seemed to eat or drink what she had ordered inside the shop; she'd just sit down at that bench for half an hour.

This went on for probably three months, you'd have to guess. Then, she started to come every 2 weeks, then every week. Soon it felt like you saw her more than you actually worked. She would stay for an hour to two hours, still cautiously watching you from time to time. Never once eating or drinking her food or coffee.

She was normally the silent type, only asking for her items and then wishing the employees a good day. However, one day this had changed. She decided to strike up conversation while you had prepared her food.

"Are you having a good day today, y/n?" Oh, she must have been looking at your badge all the times she was looking at you. Maybe your face didn't match the name?

"Oh! Yes, I am. Thank you very much," you smiled her way, before returning the question. "How about yourself?"

"I'm better now that I'm here." She said. She had a very pretty voice, and you thought you could hear a more content sound in her voice.

"I'm glad to hear that! We love making patrons' days better, and it makes us feel good to know that they are happy." You looked up at her and she seemed to lose her happy demeanor.

"Oh..yes. I'm glad to come here often." Was she lying? Was she not eating her items because she didn't like the café, but needed a place to stay?

You handed her order to her and held her wrist for a second. She looked up and you, and you softly spoke to her, "Do you come here for the food, or because you don't have a place to stay?" She grew silent for what felt like forever. You spoke up a little bit. "You come here so often, you don't need to pay after today. I will give you your order, and you can stay as long as you'd like. Don't worry about the wait limit."

Her eyes widened. "Wait, what? Really?" You nodded.

"Of course. Do you need a place to stay?" The woman thought for a second.

"I live out in the woods," she stated, "I haven't had a real home since I was 15. I live in a cabin with a few other runaways." She looked you in the eyes. "So yes, I technically have a place to stay."

You thought for a second. Does she have power, or water, or electricity? What if she's cold? Is that why she wears her grey sweater all the time? "What's your name?"

"It's Natalie.." she said that quietly, like she didn't want anyone to know. "I like to go by Clockwork, though."

"Okay, well, would you like to move in with me and my friend? We need a third person." No, you didn't. You could barely handle your own homelife. But something about this woman..it made you want to help her. Her eye widened.

"S-Sure, yeah.. okay." She nodded. You nodded. You both nodded. You let go of her arm. It took her a second to process what happened, turning away, and then back to you several times. She stopped and looked you dead in the eyes. "When..when is your next break?"

"I'm actually off right now, if you'd like to talk." You smiled to her, and she nodded. She sat down at her bench and watch you finish up your last task and clock out. You sat across from her at the booth, eyes looking down at your phone to check the time.

As time passed, the two of you talked of many things. How much rent would be, transportation nearby, hobbies. You two seemed to get along quite nicely. She was sweet, although a little of the quiet side. She was very enthusiastic to move in.

Over the next couple of weeks, you and your friend had become adjusted to Clockwork. She usually came home in the later evening, slept through the majority of the day, and worked on her hobbies in silence. It was actually pretty nice, you'd have to admit.

One day, your friend pulled you aside into her room. "Hey, y/n, we need to talk about Natalie." Your friend whispered softly to you. You looked puzzled. You thought things were going so nicely?

"She keeps doing..weird things. Like last night, she came home with blood all over her shirt, and when I asked what was up, she ignored me. And then I caught her sneaking into your room. And a few nights ago, I caught her with a little baggie of hair from the shower drain. When I asked her what she was going to do with it she just kind of looked at me and when into her room. And last week she was wearing your clothes every night to go to sleep, and then putting them back into your room so you wouldn't notice."

Your eyes widened. What? What was happening? You had no idea! It sounded like something moved on the door. You looked at the door and then back at your friend. "Do you think she's listening?" You whispered to your friend. Your friend nodded. "Let's stay in here for a little while. I'll talk to her about it later."

Your friend sighed. "You deal with it or I'm moving out. I'm not living with a serial killer." Your friend mumbled under their breath the last part. You knew this had been happening for a while from your friend's desperation.

A few days had passed, and things continued to get weirder and weirder. You started to stay up later, and noticed Clockwork sneaking into your room. She'd put your clothes back away where she found them, spraying them with some perfume to get rid of the smell of her. Then she'd sit by your bed, on the floor, silent as a mouse. The only thing you could really hear was a clock. You didn't have an analog clock in your room, and you had no idea where the noise was coming from. This happened night after night, until you finally decided to play as if you had woken up.

And there she was, in your room, her mask off and her hair out of her face. Her mouth was stitched with what looked to be years old thread, infected and bruised, and her eyes. Oh, those eyes. She had one glowing green eye, that seemed to pierce right through you, and the other was a pocket watch, inserted haphazardly, infected and grotesque. It looked like it ate half of her face, it was so infected.

You jumped from your sleeping position, but before you could scream, she covered your mouth with her hand, pouncing on you as if you were taking away the only thing she had left. She pushed you into the bed, placing her body weight across you so you couldn't move. Every scream you tried to make, she would whisper to you, trying to calm you down. It didn't, really. It only made you more paranoid.

"Shh, shh shh shh shh- (Y/N)!" She whisper-exclaimed to you. "Be quiet and I'll explain! Promise!" You thought for a second, seeming to quiet down just enough for her to relax. She brought herself to kiss your ear. "I love you, and I know you love me. I don't see why you're freaking out right now."

You must have either tried to squirm away or gave her a weird look, because Clockwork's grip on you had tightened back to that tense pressure as before. "Stop trying to deny it. You wouldn't have let me stay if you didn't." You tried to argue against her, but her grip on your mouth tightened. "Don't worry, sunshine, I love you, too. I want to be alone with you sometimes. Well, most of the time. I dont understand why (friend's name) has to intervene."

#creepypasta #creepypasta-darling #creepypasta clockwork #natalie ouellette #yandere #creepypasta x reader #this sucks so bad lmaoooooo #pls save me from this embarassment

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virareve · 4 years

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Jaime x Brienne Fic Exchange Recommendations

The time to cram has come! T-minus 12 or so hours until the author reveals so I thought I’d make a little plug for some stories I enjoyed that came out of the @jaime-brienne-fic-exchange

First off, I am VERY behind on reading the collection. I received a concussion around the time that the fics came out so my reading has been limited first by the light sensitivity, then the work catch-up in week 2 ( I had to take off work due to the concussion), and now me on short weekend vacation (yay!). I’ve perhaps touched thirty fics at this point (I still have to get to my gift fic which was posted today :D ) so this is by no means a whole evaluation of what’s been put out. The whole collection has been extremely high quality and I hope to come back later and post some more recs. I thank the mods for taking the time to wrangle with keeping this so organized. It’s been a blast.

Modern AU:

Man With a Heartbeat You’ve likely seen this story come up in recs a million times but it’s Just. That. Good. With a unique writing style, and a cast of characters that includes some cameos by some personal book faves (minor as they are), this one is sure to sweep you off your feet with it’s very different take. I mean...antique dealers? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a fanfic touch on this before and I was 100% here for this. Also Brienne was highly relatable lol. Lesson Learned: ALWAYS plan your proposals or at least make sure the desire for marriage is clearly communicated and understood between both parties. #rip

To a Distant Stranger Jaime is super hot rocker who runs into Brienne again and again and again, despite her attempts to create distance between them after their implied (crazy off the charts, soul-mate inducing chemistry) hook-ups. Eventually he drops his rocker life and takes up as a bartender and true lurvvvveeee blossoms. :D Lesson Learned: No bartender experience is needed when the course of true love doesn’t run smooth.

all these people think love’s for show (but I would die for you in secret) The author wouldn’t know this but the majority of my first bookmarked fics on AO3 were spy AUs. This sexy piece hit a very weak point for me since spies and schmexyness makes me go weak in the knees. (Also this title is prob my fave line from my fave TS song, did Author have to go so hard at me like that? It was a double whammy T.T) Jaime and Brienne are BRIMMING with sexual tension and from the first meeting I was already sitting on the edge of my seating thinking “Now kiss!” The author makes it worth it with some very bonding, emotional adventures that make the payoff feel so worth it.

if one thing had been different (would everything be different?) I just adore the premise that Jaime is Brienne’s landlord here. Lots of sexiness going on and feels where Jaime’s been nursing a crush for one LONG hot minute (read: several years) on B and our girl is sure he’s been bullying her FOREVER (tbr Jaime’s flirting isn’t as clear cut as the boy would like to believe)

Just as Sweet (just as thorny) OOOHHH this had me feeling many things because I just wanted Jaime and Brienne to be in love but man, many feelings having to be sorted out since Jaime and Brienne met and developed feelings under the cover of Jaime’s fake persona. Selwyn Tarth also makes a fun cameo that helps Jaime’s chance at making it with his girl and Brienne’s life at the end of the story is on the up and up (romantic relationship aside. Did I mentioned I love spy AUs? This read is a MUST.

My Best Friend’s Wedding Brienne hires a professional party date who is (of course) our man JamLan. I have a huge weakness for fake relationships so this just knocked me down after all the spy AUs I read from the exchange. It’s all the parts you love about the movie The Wedding Date and more. The fic also gave me a lot of feelings about one of my favorite places in the world Mackinac island which I was delighted to find out in the AN actually served as a source of inspiration for this fic. :D

Backpfeifengesicht I know you’ve seen this recc-ed before so I’m going to say that what everyone says is accurate. It’s funny, it’s sexy and the friendships are top notch. I’m personally rather proud that I posited a question about the type of table mentioned in this fic and sparking a discussion that descended into who the author might be based on height of various authors around the fandom. Yes, I will take credit for that madness XD

The Knight and the Thief Cat Burglar AU. There’s a bunch of sneaking around here that hit’s me the same way as it does with Spy AUs. Of course Jaime wins the day with his biggest steal yet, one sapphire-eyed wench.

The One That Got Away Jaime and Brienne meet in College after knowing each other in high school. Reading Jaime try and fail to convince Brienne of his affection was a humorous trial and half. Favorite line in this fic: “You’re not just the one that got away. You’re the one. Period.” A very swoon worthy story that builds up perfectly. 100% worth the read!

Jaime, Brienne, and the Bachelor Party on Wheels Having attended uni in a college town where partying was the main event, seeing these bicycle drinking carts was a common occurrence and I knew as soon as I saw the title, this fic was going to be a must read for me. Jaime and Ygritte as good friends was the friendship I didn’t know I needed and I am totally taking notes now to put it in fic at some point. There’s a lot of rowing references I wasn’t familiar with but all the innuendos were very clear in their intentions. ;)

Book Canon AU:

A Matter of Honor Oh man this one is sexy as hell. This fic delves into ‘what if the Tarth’s were the wealthy noble house with royal favor and the Lannisters were the disrupted, down-on-their-luck Lords Paramount?’ A lot of fun is involved in this battle of wills, whether it’s Brienne, deciding to stick by her vow to marry despite her reservations about her husband-to-be, Selwyn Tarth, trying to convince to break her betrothal, or Jaime, trying to decide if maybe he actually is into his potential new wife. There is so much fun and sexiness here that I couldn’t get enough. I may have also read this three times...XD

A Wench’s Kiss Have I ever mentioned how much I love a clearly communicated sex scene where both parties involved know each other’s needs? Well you do now! While the roles here are clearly defined as to who is who in this Dom&Sub role-play dynamic, it is very clear that every action done is done as communicated by the partners preferences and needs.

Other AU

Brienne Tarth and the Quest for the Lost Swords Brienne is Indiana Jones and Jaime is the Nazi lady from movie three with a better heart and better intentions (in the end). Fortunately, the end for these two is much better then it was for Indy and his doomed lady love (Jk I was always team Marion but stillll).

#Jaime x Brienne fic exchange #reading rec #jaime x brienne #braime

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makeste · 5 years

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BnHA Bonus Diversion: Horikoshi’s Sketches

of all the things I could have spent time writing a post about on my morning off, it ended up being this. but in my defense, Horikoshi’s sketches are actually amazing and this was kind of overdue.

so! as you may know, Horikoshi Kouhei frequently gets bored and doodle-y and is then kind enough to share the resulting drawings with us. sketchy boi. but not sketchy like that. though he did invent Mineta so maybe a little.

anyway, because he’s so disgustingly talented, these pictures are usually amazing. and there are a lot of them. when I finally got around to doing this post, I ran a search for “Horikoshi sketches” and it turned out there was a whole wiki page dedicated just to them (god bless whoever is running the BnHA wiki, they do such a good job). and, well...

two hundred and eighty-eight. you may recognize this as being nearly fifty more than the current number of chapters. this would mean he’s releasing at least one sketch a week and has been doing so for the past five years! fortunately (for me, who has to do a recap of all these), this number is slightly misleading, as this page apparently includes some of the character sketches he did for the volume omakes. so I don’t have to go through 300 sketches omfg. but still, there are a lot! so I’ll just go through them and post my favorites and see how many we can get through in this post I guess.

these are all in alphabetical order according to their file names on the wiki, and like I said, I’m not doing all of them, just the ones that catch my eye the most. which is still a ton of them. honestly we’re about to find out whether tumblr text posts have image limits. (ETA: the limit does not exist!)

right off the bat we are getting off to a great start! love me the ladies of class 1-A. these girls are all so, so valid. I love how Deku is there too and his hair is transforming into a tree or something.

this is a sketch from chapter 10. this cat I guess just came up to them and they were like “...” and the cat was like “...” and long story short they’ve been like this now for a whole hour. meanwhile Aizawa is wondering where his cat has gone.

why are they dressed like it’s world war I. ??

holy fuck this cat. did it eat the other cat. anyway do you guys think Momo and Todoroki were walking to school together because that’s some cute shit omg. we know there is a cat that hangs out around Shouto’s house, so he’s probably good at playing with stray cats, and they probably really like him because he is calm and kind.

holy shit.

oh my god I need Tsuyu’s siblings to come visit the dorms at U.A. and play with Eri!! now.

posting this one because it’s cute, but also because it notably has nothing at all to do with the actual chapter 120. but that’s okay.

what, and I mean this sincerely, the fuck.

are they making chocolate?? you know, canonically we haven’t actually had a Valentine’s Day yet in the series, and now I’m really hoping we get a little mini plot. things that would happen:

every single girl makes chocolate for Todoroki and he just accepts it very politely and obliviously.

they actually make enough chocolate for everyone (except Mineta. and honestly they would have, except they know how that’s gonna go down, and no. Tsuyu really would have made you some pity chocolate dawg, but you brought this on yourself). but don’t end up giving it to everyone. specifically several of them thought better about giving some to Bakugou after seeing him react to the first unlucky person to give him some (y’all know that song I THREW IT ON THE GROUND by the Lonely Island? I’m sure you can understand my meaning here). and also Jirou gets way too flustered about giving some to Kaminari and chickens out. she gives it to Momo instead. hmmMMMM.

Satou also makes chocolate for everyone, EVEN BAKUGOU, and it’s delicious. no one is throwing his chocolate on the ground.

Aoyama makes chocolate for Deku because!! ☆ ☆ WE ARE FRIENDS, MON AMI ☆ ☆ ☆ oui oui baguette.

I love everything about this, but especially Ochako’s face. she’s just like. sincerely trying to figure out exactly where she went wrong.

excuse the fuck out of me but DID HORIKOSHI SERIOUSLY HINT AT THE FUCKING A-BAND A WHOLE ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY CHAPTERS BEFORE IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. omfg. “what a cute AU!” “yes... AU,” Horikoshi agrees, nodding to himself. although after giving it some thought, he made the wise decision to switch Kaminari and Bakugou’s instruments. because we all know Bakugou was born to play the drums.

NO!!! VIDEO GAMES!!! IN CLASS!!!!!!!! [does a fucking aerial while emitting furious little huffs and bitchslapping Kirishima in the face]

I can’t figure out what’s going on in this picture. it appears to be baseball, except that Bakugou doesn’t have a bat. which I guess is the joke?? because his quirk is so strong he doesn’t need the fucking bat? except that I feel like that would result in either a broken arm or a blown-up baseball. idk this would make more sense with him as the pitcher.

“we really do love this AU, Horikoshi-sensei.” “yes... AU.”

this time it’s Shouji on the drums. I get that we all want to see Bakugou shred guitar, but it feels like he was just postponing the inevitable.

a full 85 chapters before he actually did this in the manga. god he really does enjoy foreshadowing with these things. I need to start paying more attention to these.

I have no words.

actually I do have words, and they are, “is that a fucking toothbrush.”

also is it just me or does he look, like, really swole in this pic. like, this is what the scarf has been hiding the whole time?? here we all thought he was a beanpole who subsisted off of energy bars and plain rice, but like. nope.

:) showing that there’s no hard feelings about the whole shooting-you-in-the-fucking-face thing. All Might is squeezing his hand awfully tightly, though.

all of them are so good-looking when they’re not trying. and then they open their mouths.

I am pained that there hasn’t at least been a karaoke chapter in one of the light novels yet, guys. pained. I NEED THIS.

holy fuck Todoroki. what are you, a mermaid?? I feel like this is a result of a prank gone wrong. like the other guys were sick of the girls always pining after him, and so they tried rubbing a balloon on his head in an effort to make him look ridiculous, only IT BACKFIRED COMPLETELY. shit.

fuck me I love this. of course Kami blowdries his hair and puts a ridiculous amount of effort into achieving the same kind of boyishly tousled look Todoroki is JUST NATURALLY BORN WITH. some things in life just aren’t fair. also lmao Deku.

oh my god. how are they all so cute. this was from episode 12 btw. you’re welcome for saving your life All Might.

I don’t have the slightest idea wtf is going on here but omg.

this was for episode 16 of the anime, a.k.a. the obstacle course episode of the Sports Festival arc in season 2. I can’t read what they’re saying, but I’ll tell you what, I know Bakugou is being a rude little shit and I’m here for it.

SHINSOUUUUUU. this was for episode 20. his one and only appearance in the anime so far. he knows he’s here for a good time not a long time.

lmao. my headcanon is that Monoma actually ended up losing after this, but somehow still managed to be smug about it.

lmaoooo. Kacchan refusing to even acknowledge that this is a thing that is happening for some reason.

HAWKS DID YOU REALLY KILL THIS MAN. COME ON OUT HERE I JUST WANT TO TALK.

I feel like taming Deku’s hair is arguably even more of a feat than taming Bakugou’s. meanwhile Iida looks 90% the same. and Todoroki is. well. just goes to show that this look is not for just anyone.

I have never in my life seen Katsuki so full on just done with life. like he is so fucking over this shit. he’s just rolled over and accepted it. I have never seen Bakugou fucking Katsuki just sigh and be all, “you know what, this might as well happen.” not until this moment. wow.

you guys I’m crying.

is it just me or do the little matroyshka dolls actually look like little nun Jeanists. though the hair swoosh is going the wrong way. Monomas, maybe.

HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS? my god, how useful would Shouji’s quirk be for this sort of thing. and Shouto looks so surprised (on like, a Todoroki scale) to have actually caught something. oh my god. so fucking cute. c’mere you. someone needs a hair ruffle.

I feel like this is how Tokoyami would want to be remembered. yes I know he’s not dead.

oh my god. so I’ve seen this one floating around on tumblr, but like. ffff. it’s my favorite ever. they are. so. fucking. cute. both looking up to All Might. and then the contrast between their innocent happy faces and their shocked and worried expressions watching All Might at Kamino. god it fucking destroys me. all four of these kids need hugs goddammit. the older ones because they’re heartbroken, and the little bubbas just because they’re so stinkin’ cute omfg.

I LOVE HER AND I’M NOT SORRY. please Horikoshi give me more Bakufam in this upcoming arc. who do I have to bribe or threaten.

STRANGER DANGER omg. Toga no. that’s not nice.

Horikoshi what did my heart ever do to you for you to treat it like this.

villain Iida from episode 7 holy fuck I’m dying.

here come the New Year’s sketches! I’ve been looking forward to these. Kacchan photo strategy: never look directly at the camera.

I wonder which animal year 2016 was. rooster, probably.

fucking look at Todoroki fucking Shouto stuffing his face yet again. can you stop chewing for one fucking second. we’re trying to take a picture you slob.

the year is 2018. Horikoshi Kouhei attempts to draw a dog, because it’s the year of the fucking dog. it does not go well. panicked, he takes the All Might he’s already started drawing, and for some reason attempts to turn it into another dog. it goes even worse. now he’s really starting to sweat. “oh shit,” he whispers, drawing Deku upside-down in his unrest. “oh fuck.” finally he just draws Bakugou shouting the words HAPPY NEW YEAR in giant letters across the screen, hoping that’ll be enough to distract everyone from all the rest of it. it is not.

oh my god. thank you so much to everyone who went to SDCC and made him so happy. this is the purest thing I’ve ever seen. also loving Bakugou tolerating the shit out of All Might leaning on him omg. I’m so fucking weak for this as always.

this is Horikoshi’s most recent sketch! lookit, he’s so happy with the toy him omg. it actually is really badass.

league of dorks. I love Toga’s face. and how Horikoshi clearly put more effort into drawing Tomura’s Face Hand than the entire rest of the picture.

I don’t understand a single element of this. wow. also this is twice now that Horikoshi has drawn the fucking Predator in these sketches. just pointing that out. of all the films to make multiple references to. what’s going on here. and is Mineta playing the fucking little sister in Totoro. am I losing my fucking mind.

this was for the season 3 premiere. I love how Bakugou and Deku are wrestling for control of the screen. but he knows better than to touch Mineta I guess.

Iida and Ochako are the only two reacting appropriately here. Bakugou just looks concerned. to be fair I guess that’s appropriate too. but Deku is all “fuck YEAH All Might you go ahead and SMASH YOUR FACE RIGHT THROUGH THAT MONITOR” and I feel like his blanket approval of all his mentor’s actions has finally gone too far.

this just goes to show you that even a very simple sketch concept can pay off dividends if you play your cards right. good job Horikoshi.

he could run faster if he just pulled his fucking pants up. does anyone have any brain cells to spare for my son here. please he needs them. I don’t know what he thinks a belt is actually for...?

hello this is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and also is Kirishima doing the kage bunshin pose from Naruto or.

sob Aizawa I’m dead. I fucking love how Mineta is like HE’S CLEARLY FINE IT WAS A FLOP as though Kirishima is not literally covered in fucking grape balls. something else I also love is that Katsuki is number 10 and Deku is number 11. even in a soccer match he can’t stand to be lower then his rival sob. also Ochako is straight up about to rip off Mina’s head jesus christ girl run.

there aren’t even words for how much I ship this. just emotions. omg.

this is one of those pictures that keeps getting more wtf the longer you stare at it. naturally your eyes are drawn to Todoroki’s reindeer antlers first. by contrast, Ochako looks relatively normal, even with the odd pose. but then you notice Deku’s Christmas tree hair. from there your eyes are drawn down to his strange lack of a shirt. and then, finally, you spot him. Tokoyami. you wonder if the mangaka has finally gone too far. you’re still not sure.

for once it’s not Todoroki who’s leaping into action with his mouth full. never one to back down from a challenge, Bakugou has picked the absolute least practical food to consume whilst in the middle of battling. I can barely eat spaghetti without making a mess when I’m not throwing down. I’m not sure what a good food to eat while throwing down would be, but maybe something more portable, like a calzone.

I feel drawn to him the same way one might be drawn to a stray cat, even though you’re pretty sure the cat is really wary of people and will probably try to claw or bite you if you get too close. I would like to pat him on the head, but he might try to blow me up. eh, worth it.

look at the Baku Protection Squad trying to do some fucking Abbey Road thing. damn you can really see how short Tokoyami is in this. also Bakugou buys pants that are at least three sizes too big I s2g.

and that’s it! anyways, this was fun as heck. I’ve bookmarked Horikoshi’s Twitter now so I can keep up with the new sketches as they’re released. this is fucking great, and a whole new bonus to being caught up with the manga that I haven’t been appreciating until now. fucking love it.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #class 1-a #horikoshi kouhei #horikoshi sketches #makeste reads bnha #sorry if I accidentally skipped anyone's favorite #they're all so good honestly #I tell you what you can never unsee the tokoyami christmas turkey thing though and that's going to keep me up at night

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rogueobservation · 4 years

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50 Questions

adidasI was tagged by @softhairbarnes, @rogrsnbarnes, and @jalapenobarnes. Thank you muchly for tagging me. I love doing this so much and I enjoyed your answers to the questions! ❤️

1. What is the colour of your hairbrush?

Plain and black.

2. Name a food you never ever eat.

Broccoli? Ham? Candy?

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold?

Too cold, always. And I love every minute of it.

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Finishing Sylvia Plath’s Unabridged Journals. Absolutely fantastic. I’m monumentally sad that I’ve finished them.

5. What is your favourite candy bar?

I don’t eat candy. For some odd reason, it’s not my forte. But during the very rare occasion that I do, it’s a 3 musketeers.

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game?

Yes! I’ve been to a ton of football games, golf games, and several basketballs games.

7. What is the last thing you said out loud?

(Note: I’ve seen this show several times.) Me, watching Toby Ziegler being escorted out of the White House: “Oh, and now my heart’s utterly broken.”

8. What is your favourite ice cream?

Oh my god, I’m a sucker for Neapolitan ice cream for some reason. But I love general ass strawberry and anything Cookie Dough or S’mores or Brownie. Literally anything my sister claims is good, I’ll have a bite of and love.

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?

Sweet Tea! I’m a true southerner. Lmao.

10. Do you like your wallet?

Yes. It’s brown, fits my stuff, given to me as a Christmas present by my Mom.

11. What was the last thing you ate?

Crackers? Or a Banana. Can’t specifically remember.

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

Girl, we’re in quarantine. I ain’t getting nothing new till this is over with. Lmao.

13. The last sporting event you watched?

Probably something to do with golf.

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

There’s flavors of popcorn?

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?

Best friend.

16. Ever go camping?

If staying in the wood in a camper is considered as real camping, then sure.

17. Do you take vitamins?

A vitamin B every now and again. Should probably start taking other vitamins.

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?

Well, considering I’m Jewish...

19. Do you have a tan?

I’m literally the palest human being I’ve ever seen or met, so no. Not in my existence have I ever. And I haven’t left my house in like two-ish months so because of the quarantine so that’s not helping the cause, huh?

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?

No? Depends on my mood.

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?

I haven’t had a soda is six years, but I drink basically everything (tea, coffee and except for water) with a straw; a habit which stuck with me from having braces.

22. What color socks do you usually wear?

I wear all different kinds of patterns! Otters, goats, dogs in hotdog costumes. Currently, I’m sporting socks with Nick Fury’s stern face on them. I adore them.

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

I don’t drive and if I did, I’d be terrified to do such a thing. I’m a pansy.

24. What terrifies you?

The dark? Feelings? Emotion? The world’s situation, at the moment. My possible madness?

25. Look to your left, what do you see?

My plain bedroom wall and my printer sitting on the floor. On my desk, a stack of sticky notes with half-formed thoughts belonging to several writing escapades.

26. What chore do you hate most?

Taking the trash out.

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

For some peculiar reason, that blue aardvark from the cartoon The Ant and the Aardvark. But the blue aardvark didn’t have an Australian voice, so I don’t understand where that’s coming from. The next thing: Crocodile Dundee.

28. What’s your favorite soda?

Again, haven’t had a soda in years, but when I did drink it, I would drink Diet Coke or Pepsi as if it were water.

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive?

Drive thru, always, if I’m alone, but if I’m with friends, sometimes we’ll go in and sit; chill and chat as we eat. Immerse ourselves in society, if only for a minute.

30. What is your favourite number?

Two. It makes up a majority in my date of birth.

31. Who’s the last person you talked to?

Myself since I talk aloud. To another, it was my Mom, to tell her goodnight.

32. Favourite cut of beef?

Chuck? I think that’s the one for hamburger. But I prefer turkey burgers.

33. Last song you listened to?

Reach Out I’ll Be There by Four Tops or False Prophets by J. Cole.

34. Last book you read?

The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath. Finished it before I started this and I’m sad. It was an incredible read. She was a brilliant poet and diarist. Trying to decide what’s next: Henry and June by Anaïs Nin or Red Sparrow by Jason Matthews.

35. Favourite day of the week?

Tuesday and Saturday. They’re the less hectic days of my week.

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards?

Absolutely not. Lmao. I still sing the song.

37. How do you like your coffee?

When I do drink coffee (I prefer tea), it’s nothing specific each time. Just as long as it’s not black.

38. Favourite pair of shoes?

My Nike slides. Oh, I adore them simply because they are the quickest to put on and they haven’t even worn down a day in the four years I’ve had them. But if I’m not wearing them, then I’m sporting my Adidas Superstars when I go out. Those are super comfortable, surprisingly, for walking around for long periods.

39. The time you normally get up?

Depends on what my sleep schedule is.

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?

Sunrise.

41. How many blankets on your bed?

Two.

42. Describe your kitchen plates.

One set is red and the other set is yellow.

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment?

Dishes drying in the dish rack. Coffee mug in the sink from when I had tea. Iron skillet left out on the counter to cool from last night when we made cornbread. Light above the sink is on. It’s still and quiet. A nexus for my waking mind.

44. Do you have a favourite alcoholic drink?

I haven’t really had the experience to answer this since I chose early in my life not to drink, but I have had lemon flavored moonshine and that was amazing.

45. Do you play cards?

Oh! I love, love, love solitaire. And I’ve been indulging my child side time and again during this quarantine by playing go-fish with my family when bored.

46. What colour is your car?

Don’t drive therefore I do not own a car.

47. Can you change a tire?

No? But that’s an interesting thing to learn.

48. Your favourite state?

Oregon. It’s beautiful. But my home state, Tennessee, has my heart.

49. Favourite job you’ve had?

I’m a dog sitter part-time and I love it very much.

50. How did you get your biggest scar?

It’s a new one. On my left hand, right below the end of my thumb. I think it was on New Years? I was babysitting my sister’s puppy, Phoebe, this beautiful German Shepard, while she and her husband were going to a party for the ball drop. It was sometime before the ball drop. I was playing with Phe and she nipped me on the hand by accident while trying get back her toy which was in my hand. I wasn’t paying attention, focused momentarily on a scene from Revenge of the Sith instead (when Obi was like “hello there!”). I smile when I see the scar. It was an accident. I don’t think that there’s a thing that Phoebe could do to me that I would look back at with malice. She’s my baby girl. And yes: I spent the turn of the new decade without friends. Do I regret it? Not at all.

Tagged: I don’t have anyone to tag that hasn’t already done it.

#tagged #me #text

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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622

What is your favourite game show to watch? JEOPARDY. Family Feud is funny too, but I only watch its highlight reels. Can you come up with a funny spoonerism? I can’t think of one right now but can I give a speech error that’s just as funny? It’s far from a spoonerism but I once saw a post about this dude who hit a referee while playing football, and while he was picking between saying “Are you okay?” or “I’m fucking sorry,” at the end it came out as “ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY” HAHAHAHAHA What is the most interesting anagram you can make out of your name? Brony! I’ve never seen My Little Pony other than the one time I babysat one of my cousins and she wanted to watch it, but I guess that counts as interesting, as long as the brony in question isn’t creepy lmao. What is something that rhymes with the title of the best book you've read? Prosecuted. In one day, what's the average number of times you take a sip of something? Oh gosh, maybe around 60-70. I take it nice and easy when I drink coffee.

How good are you in trivia games? What's your best category? Pretty good. I looooove picking up all kinds of trivia. I’d thrive the best probably in geography, Southeast Asia, pop culture, and names; and would at most perform decently in history. Would you much rather test your knowledge or share opinions? Sharing opinions. It’s always good to learn new viewpoints and pick up new learnings instead of limiting myself to what I already know. How do you feel about word games? I think they’re pretty fun. I have several word games on my phone. When it comes to competing, are you more braniac or rather use your brawn? Brainiac, I guess. I have like, no brawn lmao. Are you a sore winner or a sore loser? Sore loser, if I really had to pick. Who is your absolute favourite film director? Stanley Kubrick. Have you ever watched the British panel show, Quite Interesting? I haven’t seen it nor did I have any idea that it was actually a show, but I’m familiar with QI. My friend JM would retweet from its official Twitter account cos they’d regularly post bits of trivia, and from there I followed the account too so that my feed would be regularly fed (haha) with trivia.

How about Richard Osman's House of Games? No. That I’ve never heard of. If you haven't, you should. Both are most excellent. Cool. When's the last time had to cover a coworker's shift? I haven’t had a real job but there was one time I was manning a ride at our school fair back in high school and the person who was supposed to come after me never came for her shift, so I was forced to cover for her. She sure had the gall to ride THAT SAME RIDE DURING her shift and greet me and thank me for covering for her, while I handled her and her friends’ tickets. I really should have been meaner that night and still hate myself for letting someone walk all over me so effortlessly lololololololOLOLOLOLOLOL. Have you ever had a really unreliable coworker? No coworkers but I’ve dealt with very difficult groupmates in school projects throughout my time in college. Have you ever had to have a ring resized? No. I don’t wear rings. What is a question you would never ever ask somebody? It depends on what’s personal territory to them. I just know I’d never be too invasive with anybody. What sounds like a rude word but really isn't? I can’t think of anything that fits that description, but this made me think of how all my life I thought ‘poignant’ meant something beautiful, something ethereal and graceful. I was so sad when I finally learned what it meant. Have you ever made a blanket? If so, how did you make one? I have not. That would be a nice experience, though. What's your favourite quote? I don’t have one. How many godparents do you have? Do they care about you? I actually don’t know so I had to check my baby album just now – and apparently I have 7! Only one of them has been consistent in my life to this day. Two aren’t in our lives anymore for the most part (one of them I’ve never even met), two work overseas, one lives all the way in Laguna so I only see her twice a year, and one permanently lives in New York and only visits once every few years. I am super thankful to the one ninong whose presence I still feel. What is something that should not exist? Homophobia. Is there a word you have an emotional connection to? Not really. How about a sound? Any emotional connection to a sound? I’m more likely to have a connection with sounds, so yes. I miss sounds like my grandpa’s guffaw, Nacho’s teasing, the PS1 startup sound, theme songs of my childhood shows, etc. Is there something coming up that you are dreading? Kinda, but given that I’m dreading it, I’d rather not press on it at the moment. Do you ever read graphic novels? Nope. I tried getting into them, but I honestly just wasn’t interested. What is the most ridiculous product you have ever seen? The Rollie egg maker or whatever it’s called. I’ve seen enough YouTubers try it out to deduce that it sucks lmao. Are there any spiders in your home right now? I bet there are, they’re just too small to be seen. Spiders aren’t as big of a deal here as in the US or Australia. What was the last thing that made you laugh hysterically? I rewatched the video of the Chewbacca mom yesterday and I was hoooowling along with her. I’ve forgotten how amazing and how pure that clip is. Are there any candy stores where you live? Sure, Candy Corner stalls are pretty ubiquitous in my area.

#survey #surveys

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rat-apologist · 5 years

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A Semi-In depth Review of Anna Todd’s After

So I’ve been seeing the trailer for the movie adaptation of this book every five seconds on my Instagram feed, and as a proud dyslexic unwilling to sit down and read it, I listened to the audiobook.

Again, these are all my opinions, if you don’t agree that’s okay.

Here is a quick, spoiler free plot synopsis for those who want/need it: Being moved from Wattpad into the real world of publishing, After follows a girl named Tessa, who simultaneously has the mentality of a five year old and an old man from the 1800’s. She is eighteen years old and is going to college to be an English major. Tessa loves control, planning, and books. She's an introvert at heart, and “not like other girls” (i.e. dresses conservatively, is a virgin (the books words, not mine)). She has a shitty mom and a nice, preppy, boyfriend who is still in high school, and her life is completely planned out. That’s all turned upside down when the poster child for emotional abuse named Harden (harry styles) waltzes into her life during a frat party her first week of college. Your typical Wattpad/teen movie drama ensues.

(the actual review under the cut)

This review is chock full of spoilers for Anna Todd’s book After. If you want a good idea of what I thought about this book without any spoilers I’ll just say this: I can really honestly say I was never bored while listening to this book. However, that is not necessarily a good thing. Often times I was just too much in awe of the clunky writing and truly evil supposedly “redeemable” characters to be bored. On a one to five star scale, I’d probably give it a two. More on that later.

Here are the things I liked:

(this one is only applicable to the audiobook) the narrator was amazing, her voice acting was very appropriate (though she did tend to drop accents sometimes- but that is forgiven because of how otherwise amazing her line delivery was- especially considering the quality of the dialogue).

Landon and Dakota were my favorite characters, and even though they had no personalities beyond what they meant to Tess and how they interacted with Harden (Hardin? Again, I listened to the audiobook I’ve got no idea how to spell that lmao) they still made the book better to listen to.

Despite the repetition of plot/narrative structures I can happily say again that I was never really bored.

Okay moving on to more mixed-bag feelings:

So the last chapter was from Harden’s perspective, and I thought that was an interesting idea. Learning what one character thinks, especially since our protagonist is, how you say, a little bad at reading/interacting with other human people. However the execution left something to be desired for me. It quite literally was just the exact same scene we just saw from the previous chapter, but from Hardens perspective instead of Tess’s. Which was just ended up being unnecessarily repetitive at times.

I liked how Tessa tried to be less judgmental throughout the book, however her growth is very, very limited.

I liked the fact that they mentioned they used condoms in pretty much every sex scene, and that most of the time clear verbal consent/clear nonverbal consent was given for the sexual stuff. That does not happen often in books, especially in fan fiction from what I understand.

I like that Tess does stand up for herself, while I could sometimes see myself comparing her to Bella Swan considering how much of her personality does kind of revolve around her relationship with Harden, she certainly was more vocal about her feelings. And boy, did she have a lot of feelings.

Moving on to the things I didn’t like, this is probably going to be a mix on writing, characters, and plot points so bear with me. (I’m saving my many thoughts on the twist for last)

Okay so a big number one is the biggest plot driver, the love story. So, I feel like it goes without saying, but the main relationship is SUPER unhealthy. Harden constantly stalks, manipulates, and bullies Tess throughout the whole book. He is pretty much abusive, using her caring for him to his own advantage and then dropping her when it suits him. Plus his hyper-sexualization of her “virtue” is really really nasty. Tess pretty much cries in every interaction they have together, and even acknowledges how toxic their relationship is, and yet I’m supposed to root for them? Hmm… I don’t think so

The near constant slut shaming and girl hate in this book bothers me, especially when it’s mixed with the hints of “I’m not like other girls” from Tess

The character descriptions kinda weird me out considering how much Harden is described like Harry Styles, like literally a tumblr punk edit of Harry Styles

The dialogue is… bad. To all the writers out there (myself included) make sure you read your dialogue out loud to see if it sounds natural, that way if your Wattpad fanfiction ever does get published, and your book is adapted into audiobook, you’ll avoid a situation like this one. Because, especially listening to it, the dialogue in this book is really really bad. Honest to god it sounds like robots imitating humans are talking to each other, only they’re trying to convince the other robots that they are humans. For some reason Anna Todd avoided using contractions for most of the book, making the characters sound unnatural and completely out of their predefined characters. Why would these college students not use words like “it’s” “we’ll” and “we’re”? It is truly astonishing, and it makes the few uses of contractions really distracting. Normally I don’t give a shit about grammar since I don’t really understand grammar, and normally grammatical errors aren’t that obvious when listening on audio, but the dialogue was seriously that bad.

The pacing was bad, that’s kinda all I have to say. It was generally too quick during plot development but then took a screeching halt for each fight/sex scene (of which there are many)

The repetition of certain words/phrases really got annoying. Everyone's always screaming, biting on their lip, or smirking. Harden is rude, as Tessa mentioned about eight million times, and Tessa finds his dirty talk arousing. We know this, because Todd uses those phrases about a billion times a chapter.

The sex scenes kind of grossed me out. I’m (in general) fine with sex, but the way the sex scenes were written seriously ucked me out. These college kids avoid using words like “penis” “dick” “pussy” etc. and use really really juvenile words like “down there” and “length”. Maybe this is a fanfiction thing, and I’ll admit that I have not read essentially any fanfiction, but it is truly a disturbing way to write sex. Especially since Tessa is written to have the experience and understanding of sex as like a child, not even understand what an orgasm is and unwilling to say words like penis or vagina, something our loverboy Harden is super attracted to, by the by.

I hate that this book uses “girl almost gets assaulted so man can come in and valiantly protect her” trope. It is super gross and I hate it. That’s kind of all I can say, the use of women's pain so that men can get some amount of redemption is awful.

More on Harden: I am sick of the “violent, broken man that I promise I can fix!” trope. It is used to justify and excuse abuse and I hate it. Tess is honestly scared of him several times in the book and it’s played as a personality quirk of his? Like everyone just accepts that’s how he is? I know for the most part we aren’t supposed to “like” him for the first part of the book, but it’s obvious that the author wants us to root for him and Tessa in some capacity. Especially with the inclusion of his perspective at the end, which in a way is exactly the kind of manipulation that he is into so idk. Also he is possessive despite the fact that they weren’t dating, and he is very clear he does not date. That’s already abuse, but of course there is more. On top of that he is cruel, and pretty stuck-up throughout the book- making him pretty much insufferable to me. And all of this shit just gets worse once the twist is introduced, and no amount of his whining from his chapter could at all change that.

The rest of the characters are all either boring, or the worst people you could ever meet. Tess’s mom, Molly, Jace, all really terrible to offset the horror of Harden. To almost justify what he does- because comparatively he doesn’t seem as bad (up until the twist).

The twist. Dear god the twist. So, as it goes it isn’t an extremely inspired twist. I’ve seen it done before in a similar way (I’m looking at you, Ten Things I Hate About You). For those who are wondering: the big twist is that Harden only really pursued Tess in the beginning because after she revealed she is a virgin at a party early on in the book he makes a pricey bet with Zed (another side character only used to add ~drama~ to Tessa and Harden’s relationship) to see who can take her virginity. All of the subsequent bullying, possessiveness, manipulation, etc. were all a ploy to have sex with her before Zed could. I feel like it goes without saying that that’s disgusting, but let me tell you exactly why: at least if he was actually interested in her at first his weird behavior could possibly be passed off as hormones (I wouldn’t like it, but I’d understand it more if you’d try to make that argument), but the fact that it was all for a bet not only makes his disgusting actions worse, but makes the fact that he supposedly falls in love with her so much more annoying. Plus, the fact that he literally tries to trap Tessa in a lease so she can’t leave him, and tries to bribe his friends into silence really shows how little he actually cares about Tessa and her thoughts and feelings.

So, why two stars? Honestly, because I was entertained (for lack of a better word) by this book. Maybe if I actually read it and not just listened to the audiobook it my rating would be lower, maybe if there was just one more sex scene to slow down the pace I would have been more bored. Who knows, but I was entertained. Sometimes by how terrible the dialogue is, by how astonishing the characters decisions were, sometimes by the actual plot. It’s like watching a shitty soap opera, it’s not good by any means, but it certainly keeps your attention.

#pj speaks #book review #after book #after book review

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merlinthoughts · 5 years

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Season 1 Episode 5 - Lancelot<3

- YES BBG’s IT'S MY BOY LANCE

- he’s one of my fav characters u guys don't even KNOW

- like yah okay, i've only seen hiM FOR ONE EPISODE

- but he’s the light of my life

- and he may not even come back but he looks like a character that would come back especially if the fucking ep is named after him

- oh damn, i sure hope he does

- and goes into arthurs posse of knights or whatever, replacing val

- or what valerie was gonna be

- idek, lets get to it bc i could go on for days just picturing lance as a main character while continuously expressing my love for him

- BUT NOTHING ELSE OBVIOUSLY BC THIS IS NOW A CATHOLIC WEBSITE

- tumblrs trynna urge me to go with them nasty thoughts

- you wish tumblr

- you WISH you can ban me

- u can't live without sucking dick >:(

- wow slow down shev... wow okay sorry. christianism. i forgot

- it got the best of me

- back to the episode!

- omg it's buckbeak why he making a cameo in merlin??

- my inner potterhead(uwu) is coming out i hate this

- bet you can't guess which house i'm in ;)

- it's fucking slytherin, it's literally so obvious

- hissshiss motherfuckers

- ew guys

- this is so hard to type considering my fucking ‘-’ button (called a dash for u furries who only see a face) is broken and i have to literally smash it to make it work, so i'm just insanely typing up the next dash by screaming at my keyboard that i can't fucking fix

- and i have so many dasHES TO DO!

- that made no sense bc yall aren't living in my socks at the moment

- BUT I'M DYING IT'S SO HARD TO JUST GET IT TO PRESS

- fuck it copy paste, my best friend, you always come when the time is needed

- LANCELOT LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL

- lowkey looked like that guy from the 100 though

- but better

- nothing against baloney of course

- lancelot literally just introduced himself, the camera panned in onto his chest, then he proceeded to faint or some shit with the camera still zoomed on his chest, and merlin reached up to grab his shirt, probably to yank it the fuck off and the opening credits rolled up. wtf was that scene.

- WAIT I REWINDED IT

- it's not supposed to be a zoom in of his chest lmao, my hoe ass thought we had a little fanservice for a second, but there's a big mushroom-looking blood stain on his shirt which i guess is supposed to mean he's fucking dead so it's not all that confusing anymore

- when was he stabbed tho?

- whatever. shit always goes down in BBC that's often unexplainable.

- “it had claws, wings…” arthur stops his sentence melodramatically while uther looks terrified. “and.. what?” WHAT UTHER?? WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?? YOU THINK ARTHURS GONNA BE LIKE “FANGS, STEVE BUSCEMI'S EYEBALLS, DANNY DEVITO’S HAIRLINE, TALKS LIKE JOHN MULANEY?? I JUST TOLD YOU WHAT I SAW, NOT WHAT I IMAGINED. FATHER”

- but no… livestock apparently

- that’s what uthers shocked by

- not that theres a fucking griffin living in his world

- wait theres magic, means theres magic creatures doy

- but still, even if we all had magic here, i think it would be a little shocking seeing a griffin come for buckingham palace randomly

- or i guess if youre reading this and are in america, in the white house

- oh and it took only people apparently

- i guess that’s a little more severe but i stand uncorrected

- they be having a wild time in the hippogriff’s house ;)

- honestly sounds like a fucked up hogawart house

- here we have slytherin, hufflepuff, ravenclaw and... *looks at smudged writing on hand* hippogriff

- okay, who tf has a dream of coming to camelot when it's the most feared place, with banned magic and an asshole king with his hot bitchy son and a sorcerer who just brings chaos to the land

- well i mean, me

- bc of the hot bitchy son but whatever

- camelot? more like cameNOT

- arthur calls himself the ultimate killing machine like the edge lord he is

- ARTHUR FUCKING KO’D THE BITCH

- knee to the nose and all wtf man

- this is probably foreshadowing smth with the “only noble blood can swoosh like a knight” thing, like somethings gonna happen and poor people are gonna revolt and uthers gonna be like “GEEZ fine, okay, no nobles can become a knight”

- merlins such a shit stirer, telling lance he can be a knight and telling him arthur would love him when we really know whats gonna happen bc of that rule

- and here’s gaius like uhh u liar wtf, crushing lance’s dreams while merlins just like wtf gaius, live in the moment, we can do anything, this is OUR show

- literally their such good friends and have known each other for a solid 10 minutes only

- i'm not that big into beards but id love to rub my face on lance’s

- HOMEWORK IS MERLIN’S EXCUSE, MERLIN UR LIKE 20 IN A WORLD PROB WITHOUT HOMEWORK

- haha little fault there, or like a minor inconvenience which isn’t important but i like to pretend to be smart: middle ages or well the show’s era was more in “AD” (476-ish is the start of middle ages, while the arthurian legend is supposed to happen in the 5/6th century so yeah, technically 400/500 AD), and homework supposedly only started up in 1095 so BOOM BBC GOTCHA

- no, merlin’s not gonna perform magic right in front of the librarian

- does he not know the wrath of librarians???

- our librarian at school literally kicked everyone out of the library once for the whole semester because there was an apple core on the bookshelf. this was during exam week. do u know how much i wanted to kill the person who didn't admit to their mistakes and let everyone suffer. WE COULDN'T ENTER TO EVEN STUDY

- OH GOD, HE'S DOING IT MERLIN IS A FUCKING MESS

- gwen and lancelot are my favourite thing, i literally want them to be together by the next episode

- or the next one with lance

- WAIT LANCELOT IS SUPPOSED TO BE A MAIN CHARACTER ISN'T HE BC I KNOW VAGUELY THE ARTHURIAN LEGEND AND LANCELOT WAS A KNIGHT WASN'T HE???? HE WAS A FUCKING KNIGHT AND ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT NEXT TO LIKE IDK BEDEVERE OR SMTH THIS IS AMAZING NEWS GUYS I LITERALLY COULD BE A DETECTIVE

- !!!! the only heto ship on this show i actually adore !!!!!!

- i mean i only love two things: merthur and glance

- idek what gwen and lance’s ship name is so its now glance

- merlin would be the best wingman for them by being gwens bestie

- “you can start by cleaning out the stables” *lance looks to merlin while merlin gives him the biggest smile and thumbs up* this fuckING DORK

- harry potter au where everything is the same but that grim reaper looking human creature in the prisoner of azkaban executing buckbeak is actually lancelot in the future

- for symbolism purpose, not saying lance is like an animal killer but yknow

- same thing with the griffin yknow

- the two prettiest dudes in my world fighting against one another while sweat is glistening down their forheads is my new favourite aesthetic

- BUCKBEAK HAS COME

- oh wait no, people having been attacked by buckbeak have come

- netflix fucked up by subbing arthur as “orther” and i never laughed so hard

- don’t make me fucking laugh when there’s an ambush, netflix, this is not christian

- annd arthur’s pride is gone, and he goes up to chop lance’s fucking head off

- OH SHIT THAT TRANSITION THOUGH

- i'm so proud of my bb like genuinely so proud, lance deserves so much and here is is!! a knight!!

- MORGANA APPEARS THE LOML

- the three lomls in one room?? seriously bbc?? you really doing that to me?? for once im actually impressed and happy

- he's gonna get caught, i mean i KNOW that, but like it's still stressing out

- ewewewewewewewewewew

- arthur called morgana “isn't she so beautiful??” with a lovey dovey face pls don't lead this to that stepsibling porn bullshit i'm going to fucking puke

- i hated that shadowhunter bullshit like they seriously going to hit me with the indirect incest?? i was so done. i hated jace and clary, idc if theyre like the most popular couple, like wheres my raphael lovers at bc that's a boy i can enjoy

- “so if you could choose one... lance or arthur?” merlin subtly asks gwen like he doesn't have an answer himself

- it would have been so perfect geez, gwen and lance, merlin and arthur, myself and morgana

- i really wanna know what lance, merlin and arthur look like drunk bc that's a hell of a hangover they got the next morning and they probably cut out most of the soiree so like what did they do?? was there any drunk dancing and flirting??? bc i literally want to see that happen

- ik it's a bad thing but those drunk tropes where someone confesses their love to the person they like while under the influence is my favourite thing bc it's both hilarious, genuine and the other person often helps them to their feet and gets them to a safer place to rest and that's fricken adorable guys!

- not the drinking obviously, thats like a thing you can enjoy if you want but ya girl does not like drinking. or, well, she likes drinking with a limit. you can tell who likes to be the designated driver lmao. people here be drinking flat out whiskey and i tried it once and it burned by fucking throat

- merlin fucked up

- and this is technically his fault

- THEY GOT CAUGHT LMAO IT IS HIS FAULT

- hungover and caught this won't bode well

- “not worthy of a knighthood”

- hey so how do you retract a knighthood?

- do you like reverse the shoulder tapping

- like if you're christian, bc you know, we, as a christian group on this tumblr site, should already know about it... but when we do that cross thing on our shoulders, it means like a direct call with god or some shit. and if we do it the opposite direction it's considered the antichrist so is it the same for knighthood?

- OMG I JUST HAD AN EPIPHANy

- okay with christianity it's tapping the head the stomach, shoulder then shoulder, right? but the reverse is the anti cross like shoulder to shoulder, stomach and head. but… what if it were tapping the stomach, crotch, hip to hip? it would make sense right??? since the cross is upside down… it would lead to the dick and not the head. THAT'S WHY IT'S AN UPSIDE DOWN CROSS. BC YOU AINT SUPPOSED TO GRAB THEM BALLS UNTIL MARRIAGE!!! I SEE OMG I SEE YOU JESUS, TRYNNA HIDE UR FLOURISHING SEXUALITY

- omg guys, don't grab ur fucking balls in this blog post, it's considered the antichrist

- “you never will be” lmao he's gonna come back, he's lancelot, that's a main in the og legend

- how pissed will lance be with merlin

- i hope big time bc like... angry lance *dries off sweat with hands*

- aw damn lance isn't mad he's like “this is my punishment. mine to bare, mine to bare alone. stop blaming urself. i put this on me” this fucking goof is making me swoon once fucking more

- NOW BUCKBEAKS BACK

- he's a real goat x3

- buckbeak can literally fuck shit up in the air, camelot has nothing on him

- ARTHURS FUCKING DEAD LMAO

- oh wait he aint, just a few of his knights

- imagine being an extra and playing as one of those knights. having to fight next to bradley james, and have him look at you when someones doing something stupid like you can mentally agree with him and then pretend to die on camera. that would be my dream. make-a-wish better do me some good when i get diseased that will prob be named after me

- hoephagus

- stupidolis

- nah thats stupid

- ;)

- i now understand mulans will to pretend to be a guy and join the army bc i would literally do that if i could stay with arthur fucking pendragon

- aw it's called a griffin not a hippogriff

- i'm saddened

- harry potter has taught me WRONG

- this looks to be the climax where merlins like “fine guys, geez, i'll kill the griffin bc i'm magic!! wow!!! but arthur obviously knew, and i thought gwen was gonna know but she shocked me even more when she didn’t like fucking hell everyones oblivious. but since you can only kill buckbeak with magic, sigh, i'm exposing myself ig” even if it's like halfway through season 1 with 5 seasons altogether, this looks to be the right time

- this really sounds to be what we are waiting for, what kilgarah said about the destiny merlin will have

- WAIT WE HAVEN'T SEE THAT BITCH IN A WHILE

- wheres the dickwad gone lmao like was the actor busy the last few episodes or what?

- OMG ARHTURS BREAKING LANCE OUT OF PRISON SO HE CAN BE A KNIGHT

- how is the “arthurs pretty gay” theory not popped up more times on here

- like we all know merthurs pretty great and all

- but CANON wise arthur seems super gay to me

- like he just told lance to get up his ass because “i need… uhh... camelot needs” like he was just about to say he needs lance in his life

- have you not seen the glances??

- fucking hell

- arthur slowly comes closer to lance pretending to talk about what he knows about the creature

- lance also coming closer to ask if he truly believes that, with a raised eyebrow

- thought this shit was only in books and fanfics

- but no guys, we got a gay eyebrow raise

- bc we all know only the gays are capable of eyebrow raises

- fucking hell this is gay i cant even explain it

- like its subtly gay, but out of context youd think this is something out of a fansite

- and merlins not even in this scene

- “take the horse and never return to this place” OKAY NO FIRST OF ALL SECOND OF ALL FUCK OFF LMAO THIS ISNT GAY ANYMORE

- i mean he’s doing it out of the goodness of his heart, saving him from prison and all but lance wants to like… be a good man and you aint letting him do that

- OMG LANCE IS SAYING GOODBYE TO GWEN

- LANCE BETTER FUCKING KISS HER

- I LOVE GWEN AND LANCE TOGETHER #STAN

- fucking kiss you fucking bafoon

- THEY DIDN'T FUCKING KISS WTFUCKINGFUCK

- merlin looks so dumb holding his dagger as if he doesn’t know what to do with it but i love that for me

- WAIT I THOUGHT LANCELOT WAS LITERALLY GONNA GO YEET OUT OF CAMELOT NOT TO FUCKING SACRIFICE HIMSELF AND FIGHT THE GRIFFIN

- bafoons, all of them

- big bouncing bucking bafoons

- arthur looks so scared i've never been so in love and want to PROTECT

- omg for all merlin and lance know, that scream was arthur fucking dying- OMG IT WAS ARTHUR

- HE'S FUCKAN DEAD

- nvm he's alive but like yall not think to check for some arterial wounds bc he could be alive now, but in 5 mins he could legit not make it

- slow music means death

- lancelot you were the best husband i've ever had, rip

- i would be crying more if i didn’t know what happened, but since i already spoiled myself on the first season by watching this about a year ago, i'm not that sad but its still getting to me slightly

- hahahaha so happy everyones okayyy

- ARTHUR AND LANCE TiME!

- arthur looks so happy for lance literally crack ship right there

- why does nobody talk about this wyd

- and here’s arthur defending lance’s honour

- but uthers being a bitch

- omg that transition from lance being told to wait outside, the camera following him out of the room and the doors slamming behind him just in time to hear uther yell at arthur from next door is what gives me chills

- uther better fucking accept lance

- “the law is the law” yeah but the law also says to stop being a stuck-up bitch, uther

- literally lance is the only fucking person to not see through merlins blatant magic tricks

- like he saw that shit, called it out and was not like “oh what its a trick of the wind, surely”

- and he's not fazed at all, u see merlin it aint that bad to tell some people

- the only thing he is worrying about is the credit he says he doesn’t deserve bc merlin killed the griffin and not him

- see how fucking great my husband is, guys

- he better not be like “sucks to suck, i lied again! it aint me, chief” to uther and arthur

- NAH OKAY HE’S JUST BIDDING HIS FAREWELL IM GONNA FUCKING CRY IN THE CLUB

- he better fucking come back soon >:(

- seasonal guest star at least

- main characters, big bonus

- we barely saw morgana this episode and i'm not okay with that, but at the same time it was more lance-centric so i'm aight actually. we got all the time in the world for my baby girl, but lance :’( good luck man

- literally everyone is so gay for lance

- gwens into him for sure, and i love that the most (guess thats not gay but whatever, beggars can't be choosers)

- arthur has a little crush ngl

- and merlins full out in love with him

- not to mention MY FUCKING SELF

- i mean, i won't deny that he’s literally perfect in every way and i've only known him for one episode, but i agree whole heatedly with these crushes

- “till next time, sir lancelot” merlin whispers with a smile

- yeah that's me right there

- BC I'LL BE SEEING HIM IN THE FINAL EPISODE OF THIS SEASON!

- greeting us all with the news on being cast full-time for the show, being the best guard around and a lover boy to all

- guys i feel like i'm on aphrodisiacs but instead of desire for sex, it's love for lancelot

- send help

#this is a long one yall #maybe bc i found a new crush but yknow #merlin #merlin bbc #merthur #s1 #s1ep5

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

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[created by: vyvyan86]

What did you think you were good at, until you saw someone else do it? *shrug* I don’t think I’m good at anything.

What's a fun fact you tell in social situations? I don’t tell fun facts in social situations. Like, that’s not a icebreaker or conversation go-to for me.

What's something you're positive that only you do? Uhhhh.

What is something nice going on in your life right now? My aunt stayed over for about a week this past week and we had a good visit. She also cleaned my room and it just feels so much better. It needed some straightening up and reorganizing. She also put all my Christmas decorations away that I’ve had up for 2 years, ha. I’ve been wanting to get all that done for so long, but I haven’t had the energy or motivation and was just too overwhelmed. It was really a huge help.

What was the pinnacle of wealth to you as a child? I remember as a kid if you shopped at Limited Too you were bougie, ha.

What's something that you hate, but can't live without? I don’t hate it, but I wish we didn’t have to have water.

What skill do you not talk about, because you feel it sounds like bragging? Ha, I have nothing to brag about.

What is an absolute 100% fact? We will all die.

What's the most useless thing you've memorized? Random trivia and facts.

What is your personal curse? Hm.

Who's the worst person you've encountered on the Internet? There’s been some crappy people in comment sections on things or chats.

Do you ever stop and think, “what the hell am I doing with my life?” I’ve been wondering that for a long time.

What are some of the small things in life you enjoy? Reading, coloring, a cup of coffee, my favorite foods.

What happened recently that made you really happy? My room getting cleaned.

If death wasn't a consequence, what would you try? I don’t know. Even though I wouldn’t die, I’d still be scared. And I could possibly get hurt depending on what it was.

What's the dumbest thing you've heard someone say? There’s so much to choose from.

What is the worst smell you can remember? Death. Like, there have been times we smelled something in our garage and found out there was a dead mouse somewhere.

What's something you want that doesn't exist yet? I don’t know.

Where is your happy place? The beach.

What song gets better the louder it gets? Uh.

What's the most deceptive advertising you've seen? There’s so many. Diet pills, for one.

What's a joke you always tell people you meet for the first time? That’s not something I do when meeting people. I don’t really tell jokes in general.

What's the biggest inconvenience that does NOT ruin your day? I don’t like having to go to my pain doctor every month just so I can get my medication refill, but it doesn’t ruin my day.

What's your best wrong number story? I don’t have one, but that reminds me of that story that made headlines a few years ago about a guy who received a text I think from a wrong number inviting him to Thanksgiving dinner and when the sender realized it was a wrong number she still invited him and he’s been going every year since, haha.

What's something everybody should know how to do? Reading is an important skill.

What is a great movie no one knows about? Hmm.

What type of person could the world use less of? Hateful people.

What makes you think, 'Oh dear, I'm old...'? The fact that I’m 31. Lmao. <<<

What is one food that you hated as a kid, but love now? Spinach. I realized it was just creamed spinach I didn’t like.

What makes you tingle? Certain ASMR triggers.

What was your travel nightmare? Taking like 12 hours to get somewhere that should have taken 6 or 7. We kept getting lost and there was a lot of traffic. Ugh, it was awful.

What’s the best Wi-Fi name you’ve seen? *shrug*

What weird thing turns you on? Nothing weird comes to mind. What's easy to learn, but hard to master? Cooking. You know the basic concept-- you heat stuff up, mix stuff together, etc, but you can go so much further with it and it’s a skill that certainly not everyone has.

What's something you've changed your opinion on? Until a few years ago I didn’t believe in God.

Describe your favorite movie as obscurely as possible: I have several favorites.

What's the most satisfying thing you've ever felt? How I feel when I’m watching the ocean waves crash in and out and feel the cool ocean air on my face.

If you had a refilling bowl, what would you want it to contain? How about a refilling cup that refilled with hot coffee.

Where do you mostly live? In the past, the present or the future? The past, definitely. I’m forced to deal with the present as well cause of health stuff and whatnot. The future terrifies me. What is more important to you, the way you look or the ideas you present? The ideas I present.

What don't people get about what it's like to be you? I’m sure people don’t understand why I don’t just get my shit together or do certain things I should be doing and I’d be like yeah, me either.

If your bedroom had three portals to anywhere, where would they lead? The beach for sure. I’d choose two places I wish I could travel to anytime I wanted, but choosing just two would be hard so I’d have to really think about that.

How is parallel universe you doing? They’re a healthy, happy, functioning adult--the complete opposite of me.

Which historical event should be the next huge television series? Of course there will be a ton of movies about the pandemic. Shows already incorporate it.

What country should fictional villains be from? Why would they be just from one country?

What is your imaginary Eden? Hmm.

Which Disney princess would make the best villain? Rapunzel. She could trap people with her hair.

You can ask any author one question about their story. What do you ask? That’s so hard to choose just one author and one question.

Would you want a rewind or a pause button for your life? Why that one? A rewind, please.

Are you worth your weight in gold? I’m not worth anything.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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brianna-lei · 7 years

Text

Anonymous Butterfly Soup asks, batch 6

IT’S RIGHT NEXT TO THE BIG TOBLERONE I’M ALIVE

Being covered by a big gaming news site was one of my fantasies, so I’m elated this happened. The article is here, for anyone curious!

More asks under the cut!!

A note before I start -- if you submitted a bug, I saw it!! Thank you for reporting them!

Yes, she did! Her Facebook profile pic is her posing in front of a store at the mall, and you can see Jun’s reflection taking the pic in the store window

Akarsha didn’t realize, but Noelle totally heard it. Noelle kind of had a sense of what was up already, but actually hearing it worried her. She was debating whether or not to intervene when Min showed up.

On a small note, Min trying to cheer Akarsha up slightly improved Noelle’s opinion of Min (even though Min and Akarsha almost end up fist fighting again afterward).

Min plays video games too, imagine them playing Team Fortress 2 and later Overwatch together... Diya, Min, and Noelle have all seen some basic anime like Pokemon, Digimon, and Yugioh, but Akarsha’s the only real hardcore anime fan. I’m glad she met “Sakura”, “Yuki”, and Ester through the baseball club, because now she has weeb friends to talk about that stuff too.

(Ester is less obvious about liking anime than “Sakura” and “Yuki”, but you can still tell by her outfit’s style. Lowkey but not lowkey enough)

I can totally relate to all of them, but I’d say Diya!

Yes, they grow close over the course of the year and Noelle has to try really hard not to cry LMAO They still keep in touch afterward.

Yep, they both feel this huge gulf between themselves and their parents due to cultural differences. Many Asian immigrant parents are extremely conservative so it feels like they’re on a completely different wavelength from you, and at the same time they have complete power over you. It’s kind of a bad feeling.

...Also, shadowing their faces saved me the work of drawing their different facial expressions.

Min was actually out of town when the fire happened, so Diya had to call her and tell her what happened :( Diya (and eventually Min) sleeps on Noelle’s couch for a bit. Noelle and Akarsha aren’t living together at the time and Noelle has the nicer/cleaner apartment

It sounds really miserable, but they’re ok in the end

Noelle's passion is math and science, so she definitely ends up doing something in STEM that she likes, just not what her parents were expecting. Akarsha is similar and becomes a software engineer -- They’re actually both naturally interested in those subjects, which says a lot about how bad the parental pressure really is.

I like to think Diya and Min actually manage to break into minor league baseball and eventually MLB

Most of my outfit inspiration comes from my tumblr/twitter feeds. I wish I could recommend you fashion blogs, but I’m not following any?! They’re all just fandom mutuals who randomly reblog cool clothes sometimes.

I used to have trouble deciding what clothes characters should wear, so every time I see an image of a cool outfit I save it for reference. After doing this since high school I now have...uh...

And those are just the unorganized ones, the ones i have in folders are like...

Now if I’m stumped for what a character should wear, I just browse these massive folders for inspiration. I can actually pinpoint the omocat jacket that gave me the idea for Min’s:

I thought, “it should be a warning: high voltage sign on the back!”, and then I just went on Google images and looked them up.

Sorry if this isn’t helpful!

I don’t think Min really minds, but The Squad is even better! Deke squad

Yeah, Akarsha’s parents wouldn’t approve either. Out of the main four, Diya is actually the only one whose parents are fine with it

Ooh thank you this is an awesome compliment to receive!!

I REALLY want to make merch some day! I’ve never made physical merch before and I’m a bit intimidated not knowing where to start/how to handle shipping, so it may take a while, though :(

I didn’t give anyone last names and I doubt I ever will, sorry! Feel free to give them your own if you want

This was intentional, but at the same time I can’t believe everyone IMMEDIATELY noticed. You guys are so in tune with 4/20

Diya and Akarsha are Indian, Min-seo is Korean, Noelle is Taiwanese, Chryssa is black, Liz is…mostly Irish, I think? “Sakura” is Pakistani, “Yuki” is Filipino. I’ve heard a lot of guesses for Ester, but she’s half black and half Chinese!

i got u son!!

Thank you, I really love hearing this because the feeling that this narrative was missing was what made me want to make this game in the first place!

you might feel a bit more sympathetic to min when you reach her part of the story! Your mileage may vary, though

If you want to make a game like Butterfly Soup, try the program Renpy! It doesn’t require programming experience to use and there’s a lot of guides online on how to use it. My NUMBER ONE BIG ADVICE IS MAKE A REALLY, REALLY SMALL GAME FIRST. My first game, Pom Gets Wi-Fi, was only 30-45 minutes long. If you make it any bigger than that, you almost guaranteed will never finish it. The dream game that you want to make is probably longer than that, so don’t make your dream game first! That’s kind of why I was so alarmed when Pom Gets Wi-Fi took off -- I’m very proud of that game and still love it, but it was like my test for the games I dreamed of making like Butterfly Soup. (Also, 17 is a great age to start making games, good for you!) Other stuff I’ve learned: Programming: I mostly learned super specific things that can’t be easily applied to other situations. If you want to know how I did a specific thing in Renpy, message me!

Writing: If you’re struggling to write something, it might be for a good reason. Maybe the scene is unnecessary or boring, your mental image of the scene doesn’t translate well to the format of your work, or the character motivations aren’t convincing enough. Deleting a scene altogether isn’t defeat, sometimes it’s the best path forward! Give up more!

Artwise: Drawing for non-pixel art games takes FOREVER. The sheer amount of time it’d take to draw all the characters and backgrounds was so demoralizing that I found myself procrastinating because I didn’t want to tackle it. Not only did I have a large cast of characters (9 in the baseball club alone), but because of flashbacks, I had to draw half of them again as kids!

To anyone thinking about making a game by themselves, SERIOUSLY consider making it a pixel art game. If you’re that set on making a non-pixel art game, SEVERELY limit the number of characters and backgrounds you have to draw!! I’m begging u...learn from my mistakes...

You’re welcome!!! :>

I loved USC! The Interactive Media major was cool and fun -- I met a lot of good friends through the program! It was probably the best few years of my life.

Unfortunately...I felt like it did nothing to prepare me for finding a job. There are very few classes for aspiring game artists and game writers. There wasn’t a single professor who worked as an artist at a triple A studio while I was there, and only one who was a major writer. I get that you gotta be self motivated, but I wish I had someone in the faculty I felt comfortable discussing my career path with. Some of the professors had clear favorite students and if you weren’t one of them, they’d make very little effort to reach out to you or interact with you. I know I'm introverted, but I never got this feeling with my general elective classes -- I had plenty of chances to talk to my writing professor, architecture lab professor, art teacher, etc., yet I came out of a lot of my Interactive Media classes wondering if my professors even remembered me.

If you want to be a game designer or maybe a writer, and are really focused/outgoing with your professors, it could be the major for you, but if you want to be a game artist I’m not sure it’s the best place to be.

I was actually crazy stressed out when it came out, so nope! It’s happening this weekend

I was super nervous right after it came out because I was worried people wouldn’t like it! I put a lot into it, and actually teared up writing parts of it, so it was a ridiculous relief to see that people were touched by it. I’m really happy now and really want to make a sequel. Also, I’m beyond grateful to my friends/mutuals/fans spreading the word and tweeting/posting about the game and making fancontent ;~; I really owe everything to them! A few people wondered about how I was holding up attention-wise, and actually...as a fanartist I sort of thrive on this, haha. Also, this is much less intense than when I released Pom Gets Wi-Fi. For perspective, it took Butterfly Soup a week to reach the number of downloads Pom got in one day.

Good!!! You’re welcome!

you’re welcome!!!

#Butterfly Soup #briANSWER #ask #my post

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pikapegasus · 7 years

Note

Starmora + Mer; “I don’t think we need anymore stuffed animals in the bed.”

“I don’t think we need any more stuffed animals in the bed.” (from this list)

and now, we return to our regularly scheduled starmora content :)

read my previous starmora baby/fam fics!!! :)))

icymi: read my fic about peter and gamora going on a double date with tony stark and pepper potts after infinity war!!!! :))))

“Which Terran animal is that?”

“A dog!” Mer answers happily, pointing down at the picturein her book.

“Which one is this one?”

“A bunny!”

Peter smiles from where he’s sitting on the ground, puttingclothes away in their drawers, as Gamora quizzes Mer on different animals inone of the children’s books they’d picked up on Earth during their last visit.Mer’s curled into Gamora’s side, balancing the small book on Gamora’s (very large) baby bump.

He doesn’t know how Gamora does it, honestly.

From what he’d learned during her pregnancy with Mer and hisresearch on human babies back then and now, she’s nearing 40 Earth weeks, whichis, like…insane, because how a baby can stay inside of someonefor so long, he genuinely has no clue.

And it’s taken its toll on her a lot recently, limiting herin what she’s physically capable of doing a lot more than her pregnancy withMer ever did—probably because Mer arrived early. Even just walking is hard for Gamora now, from what Peter’s seen, though (ofcourse) she doesn’t like to necessarily admit it.

So she spends most of her time holed up in their room now,only getting up for necessities, such as food and going to the bathroom. They’vedocked on Xandar to wait out the arrival of the baby, because the last thingPeter wants is a repeat of the disaster that was Mer’s birth—Gamora’s waterbreaking in the middle of a fight with Sovereign forces many jumps away fromthe nearest hospital—and he’s not sure how much longer space travel would’vebeen safe for Gamora, anyway, given her…condition.

But, of course, she’s never without company in their room. Usuallyat least either Peter or Mer or Groot is there with her, but the others stop byoften as well, and Peter’s starting to fear their room is becoming the newcommunal room.

“Mommy, if Rocket’s a raccoon like the ones on Terra, isn’the from Terra like Daddy?” Mer’s question breaks Peter out of his thoughts.

“Some special Terran animals can live on other planets,”Gamora says. “Rocket is special.”

Mer nods very seriously. “Rocket is very special.”

“You should tell him that,” Peter says, biting back a smirk.“He’d love it.”

“Okay!” Mer chirps happily, carefully maneuvering aroundGamora—they’d really, really enforcedthe whole “be gentle” thing since Gamora’s been pregnant—and clambering off thebed.

“If Rocket’s ego becomes unbearable because if this, it’syour fault,” Gamora says once Mer’s out of the room.

“I think he could use a little extra love,” Peter says,closing the drawer containing their shirts. He pushes himself up to his feet,walking over to the bed. “How are you feeling?”

She sighs, leaning her head back against the wall. “I’ve hadbetter days.”

“We might have to put an eviction notice up on this onesoon,” he says, patting her belly gently. He sits down on the bed, taking thebook—which had been balancing perfectly on her bump without any assistance,just proving how big it’s reallygotten—and placing it on the nightstand. “I’m starting to get impatient.”

“You’re not the only one,” she says. As she readjusts herposition, she suddenly scrunches her face up in discomfort, reaching a handunderneath her back. She pulls out a plush of what appears to be a crossbetween a dinosaur and a dog (they’ve picked up a lot of random things on their travels since Mer came around). “Oh,another friend.”

“Mer has many friends,” he comments, glancing over theirbed.

It’s large, enough room for the three of them (soon to be four, he reminds himself), but as Mer’sactivities shifted more and more to their room recently to spend time withGamora, her small army of plush “friends” quickly followed her. They’rescattered in the covers and between the pillows. Some are just abandoned on thefloor.

“We’re being overrun here,” he jokes, pulling the variousstuffed animals from the different places they’re hiding in the bed. Afterpicking up the ones on the floor, he gathers all of them up into a pile besideGamora’s feet. “I think we have a few more eviction notices to give out.”

“I enjoy their company in the daytime,” she says, adding thedinosaur-dog-thing to the pile. “But it’s a little crowded at night.”

Mer returns then, skipping into the room with—surprise—another stuffed animal, this one closelyreminiscing a bunny. She eagerly climbs up onto the bed with it.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Peter says, catching her in his hands.She giggles with a “Hey!” as he lifts her up. “We’ve reached the maximumoccupancy here.”

“What’s that mean?” she asks.

“It means,” he says, properly holding her, “I don’t think weneed any more stuffed animals in the bed.”

Cue a pout. And a plush bunny being shoved in his face. “ButDaddy, he’s lonely!”

“He wouldn’t be lonely if the rest of his friends were withhim in your room,” he says pointedly, gently pushing the bunny away, “wherethey all belong.”

“But Mommy will get lonely,” she protests, now holding thebunny out to Gamora.

Gamora offers her a smile, taking the bunny into her hands. “Howabout this: you and Daddy take all of your stuffed animals back to your room,then choose three to stay with us inhere?”

Mer seems to consider the offer for a moment.

“If you can count all of your stuffed animals for me, youmay choose four to stay,” Gamoranegotiates easily.

“Yeah, we gotta show Mommy your big girl counting, right?”Peter adds, setting Mer down beside the plush pile. “It’ll make her reallyhappy.”

“Will it make the baby happy, too?” Mer asks, turning tolook up at Peter.

He can’t help the smile that overtakes his face at that. “Itwill! It’ll show the baby how awesome of a big sister they’re gonna get.”

Gamora nods encouragingly when Mer looks to her forconfirmation.

“Okay! I can count!” Mer declares, taking the bunny fromGamora with an emphatic, “One!”

Peter resumes sitting on the bed, pulling Mer into his lapas she sorts through her pile. She stumbles on a few of the numbers (only thosepast ten, it should be noted—she’s mastered counting to ten easily by now), but manages to pullthrough with some hints from both of her parents.

Once she’s counted up her collection, Peter helps her carrythem all back to her room. They deliberate over which four will get theprivilege of sharing their bed for several minutes (it’s a pretty seriousdecision, okay) before gathering upthe chosen four and bringing them back to Gamora for her approval.

Then it’s naptime, judging by the heaviness in Mer’s eyesafter all the mathematical excitement, and Peter recognizes the same exhaustionin Gamora’s expression. He tucks Mer in beside Gamora (and the four chosenones, all various animal species that Peter can’t really identify from acrossthe different quadrants), pressing kisses to both of their foreheads.

“But we need a story, Daddy,” Mer protests, alreadyhalf-asleep against Gamora’s arm.

“Mommy can tell you a story,” he says.

“I want to hear your story as well,” Gamora adds to Mer’sprotests.

He ducks his head with a bemused sigh. There’s no way he’sgetting out of this one.

So he settles down on the edge of the bed. “Right. Ofcourse. Alright, let’s see, uh…one time, when I was with your Grandpa Yondu, wehad to steal this really big thing,right?” Gamora, despite the tiredness in her gaze, gives him a look. He quicklyadds a disclaimer to his story: “Uh, stealing is still bad, by the way, Mer.”

By the time he’s halfway through his epic tale, both Gamoraand Mer are snoring softly.

send me a ship + a number!!!

(yeah idk why i’m so drawn to numbered dialogue prompt lists either LMAO)

#starmora #gamora #peter quill #star lord #guardians of the galaxy #mcu #fanfiction #tumblr exclusive #WOW this prompt was sent like a month ago holy shit #it's time to play catch up lmao #Anonymous

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