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#this isn't really meta so much as just information with which one can analyze as they wish
jensensitive · 5 months
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spn 4x17 It's a Terrible Life // American Psycho (2000)
(warning for violence and blood)
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thiccpersonality · 5 days
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The Realization
It's hard being the only human in a team full of meta-humans, aliens or straight up gods, but Bruce manages to get by...even if internally he's overly critical of the work he does, always comparing himself to others and telling himself to do better. But, he secretly counts his blessings one-by-one at how he has friends colleagues that reassure him everyday that he does so much-yes, even when he doesn't ask for it...Clark always tells him it's in his eyes, that's how he knows Bruce wants it.
Bruce finds that stupid though, the only thing in his eyes is exhaustion, and if not exhaustion, then anger; and if not anger, then it's probably a cocktail of self-loathing, self-hate and self-deprecation sprinkled with a healthy dose of "I wish I was dead."
Anyhow, Bruce counts his blessings secretly, even if it doesn't seem like he's doing so. And while it's hard being one of the only humans without a power in a group full of meta-humans or fully fledged super powered beings, he is grateful for the other aspects of power he has: his name, his face, his money, influence-and one of his actual favorites...when he's in a good mood-his body. Bruce isn't an idiot (Jason: "Not all the time anyway!"), he sees the way people eye him up and down, both men and women alike, he knows their thoughts towards him...or well, his body at least.
He has seen the way women eye his arms and pecs (Wally: "You mean, Batboobs®!? And doesn't everyone eye those?"), watches the way mens eyes glaze over when staring at his mile long legs.
Which brings us to how Bruce never truly feels small, not anymore at least. Even if he was of smaller height for a man (or in general) his position in life and as a hero/vigilante would make him feel and appear big to people. So, Bruce hasn't felt small in a very long time, he tends to not pay attention to things like height much-to reiterate: he never feels small because 1. He isn't and 2. Even if he was, who would be brave enough to tell one of the richest men on earth-let alone THE Batman that he's short?
The answer: no one.
So while Bruce has never had anyone say to his face that he's short, he's the World's Greatest Detective™ (Jason and Stephanie: "Ehhhh...occasionally.) and can see for himself the difference of him compared to everyone else.
Who is everyone else you ask? Well, it's the people he works with and-and Jason. It's kind of hard for Bruce to truly pay attention to height when he never pays attention to it in the first place or when he's usually in life-threatening situations to really care, in fact, he doesn't know why he is even obsessing over such a thing-'but you do know'-his mind replies. The thing Bruce hates most is that he does-he does know what kick-started this whole height thing, and it was his son; Jason.
XXX
It was any other normal day at Wayne Manor...if you count your son entering your top-secret cave injured as normal. Bruce had his mask off, his icy blue eyes analyzing the information on his computer unblinkingly, there's been an issue with abductions recently and he doesn't want to waste any time on finding out who is up to it, so Bruce has been working overtime (Alfred in a tired tone: "As usual...") trying to find out who it is.
Just as his brain is stringing something together, he hears the sound of a motorcycle outside the Cave, Bruce's brain immediately switches to finding out who it could be. He takes into account every person already inside the house, outside of it, what said people outside said they were doing until his brain very obviously deduces that it must be Jason. Hm? Should he heat some leftovers up for Jason? What is the other here for? Why is he even overthinking it? Jason is free to come over anytime he wants...
....
.....
......
But what if the reason is bad? Is Jason mad at him again? Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose from the sudden headache he gets from his mind panicking, the man just groans softly and turns around just in time to see Jason riding into the Cave, his eyebrow raising suspiciously at the lack of fancy tricks his son bothered not doing.
Bruce silently analyzes his son's body for any signs of distress, starting from his head, he immediately noticed the crack in the helmet and can feel his muscles tighten in worry before remembering he's trained his kids to fight and be able to receive hits as well. The thing that causes him to stand up though is the fact that Jason hasn't noticed him yet, and the way the young man is holding his side isn't helping to ease Bruce's racing mind.
"Jason, is everything alright?"
Hm? Was that too forward of him? Bruce knows his children, but he especially knows Jason and Damian hate being asked for signs of-what they deem as-weakness and injury (Damian sipping his tea: "Wonder where we learned that from, father?)
Jason finally looks up at Bruce, his tone sounding a bit slurred as he speaks, "Jus' fine, B. A little-" he grunts as he stumbles off his bike-"scratch never...hurt me." Okay, so it's more than a little scratch, Bruce catches Jason and can't control the immediate frown he makes when the boy doesn't bother fighting his hold. "What actually happened? It's not just a little scratch...you are clutching your side like you've been sh-" his breathing hitches at the words he almost uttered, w-was Jason actually-
"What? S-Shot? Why's it matter if-" Jason quiets down when Bruce's words finally process, his baby blue's widening under his mask at the small ways his dad is starting to panic from the thought-"No! I was jus' stabbed is all...no shots."
Bruce will get on himself later about how his body relaxed a bit more when finding out his child wasn't shot, I mean, what kind of father feels relieved that their kid was just stabbed? He knows-deep down-that it's his...ahem..."trauma response" to guns, but it sucks for him to realize he finds himself more at ease when people he knows are hurt in different ways that aren't a gun...he feels like a horrible person when it happens.
For now though, his main priority is his son who is losing blood, blood that Bruce is finally noticing on Jason's hand.
Bruce grunts as he brings his son closer to his body, feeling momentarily surprised when he lets out the sound from moving the younger. Since when did he ever grunt when moving his children? Another thing is, when did Jason get so heavy in the first place? When did his once small boy pack on so much muscle and-oh, God...please...when did Jason ever have to bend his knees when Bruce held him?
His body is on autopilot and he can feel himself moving to the medical table, but his eyes are busy staring at Jason's bent knees, his mind screaming at him that this must be a prank his son is pulling-oh! Or maybe Bruce is actually in an alternate universe where his child is bigger than him.
Bruce sucks in a deep breath when arriving at the table, gently lying his son down so he can get to work on stitching his boy up while also giving a (most likely) hypocritical lecture on how Jason should stay safe.
XXX
It was ever since that day that Bruce has been hyper fixated on his own height, along with the height of others. He hates how he's been sneaking in tests and making things awkward with his family because he chooses not to answer and instead rushes off to panic when realizing Jason is bigger than him.
It all happened as soon as Jason was patched up too, his mind recalls every stupid miniscule little detail, from Jason's clothes to the way his hair was messy from sleep and-the worst part-how he had to look up at the nineteen-year-old when the young man got close enough to him. Barefoot and all. The worst part is how Jason didn't even seem to notice it, and Bruce is NOT risking letting his son know, because then he will be picked on for being smaller than him and then his Bluejay will no doubt drag his siblings into this.
Not to mention how Bruce doesn't want to deal with a furious Damian who will demand that they, in his words, "stop disrespecting father before he slits their throats."
It has been a miserable couple months for him-and don't you judge him for keeping this obsession up for months! How is anyone-let alone a parent-supposed to process that they are shorter than their kid? Bruce holds back his frustrated tears at realizing his children are grown and growing, for goodness sakes, he had a meltdown just yesterday when it caught up to him that Richard is a fully grown man...he will never let anyone know about how he clutched onto old pictures of his eldest while crying.
And everyday Bruce is hoping and praying against Damian's growth...of course he doesn't want his son to be stunted in his puberty process...but if he decides to stay little forever then that is perfectly okay with him.
Besides panicking over his family's growth, which, yay for them...really, Bruce has been noticing-and I mean, TRULY noticing, his friends colleagues heights. There are certain people where it's just so noticeable, like J'onn for example, that guy is so huge that you are stupid if you don't notice it. Another hero is Big Barda, I mean, she's a seven foot tall woman...you would obviously notice that.
But there are just some people he noticed it with but it didn't bother him before (thank you Jason for kick-starting this!) And now Bruce is constantly comparing himself to the most closest of colleagues to one's he barely speaks to, it's insane how many files he's gone through just to look at heights. His two closest friends colleagues Diana and Clark are two people he didn't bother with height wise. It didn't matter since they made him feel small in different ways...I mean, you have the Amazonian princess with strength and skills that would put any living creature to shame and a Kryptonian that is more human than most humans, who truly has a heart of gold despite any negative views towards him.
And then there is Bruce: cold, stoic, a touch too sarcastic, jaded, cynical, a negative Nancy, a party pooper (Jason says that), no fun, emotionally stunted, anxious, depressed, stressed, old, washed up, unfunny-and the worst of all; short.
Bruce holds back his distressed noise as Wally West, AKA: Richard's best friend who has been over a million times, stands next to him with that ever bright smile of his and is animatedly talking, effectively ruining his depressing train of thought. When did he get so big? So...grown? He takes in the maturity of his once soft face, the man is still cute no doubt, but he isn't that same round faced boy who bothered him about Alfred's cookies. Okay, okay, maybe he still is that same kid...just older looking and taller now.
"-and that's why I'll need that penthouse full of Agent A's cookies."
Bruce blinks away the sudden wetness in his eyes and looks down (ha!) at The Flash confused, though to the normal eye he looks the same old disinterested as usual. "You need a penthouse? What happened to that modest apartment you got?" Wally blinks in shock behind his mask before giving a toothy smile, "Is that what your mind got from that? I was joking about the penthouse...though Agent A's cookies would still be much appreciated."
The ginger shifts in place nervously at the way Batman is staring at him, did he do something wrong? The only thing that somewhat assures Wally that things are okay is the fact that Bruce gives a grunt of agreement before walking off.
He can't take this anymore! If Bruce stays around Wally any longer he's afraid he'll start crying in front of the kid. Instead, he'll just head to the cafeteria and drown his sorrows in today's dessert. Bruce walks in and sees that Diana is already in line, holding back his grumble as he stands next to the woman and internally mourns the fact his head only reaches her shoulder. "Good morning, my friend! It's a lovely day in space is it not?"
Bruce grunts and doesn't bother looking up at Diana, "It's the same view we see everyday we come up to the Watchtower."
The Amazonian just smiles brighter, warmth radiating from her mood. "Though we see it everyday it doesn't make it any less gorgeous up here." Bitterness. Bruce's heart is filled with bitterness at the words "up" and "here" , is-is Diana teasing him? Did she somehow find out about his fixation and is now subtly letting him know that she knows?
The feeling of warmth, like that from the sun, at his right side causes Bruce to automatically look up at the person standing so close to him. His icy blue eyes only widen under his mask at fully tilting his head back to look up at Clark, he feels like sobbing when realizing his head only comes to Clark's chest, why is the man even taller than Diana!?
"Good morning Bruce, Diana. Lovely morning up here, is it not?"
There's that stupid word again! And is it really a good morning when he's been suffering for so long? Bruce frowns at the gentle nudge at his side and Diana's jovial tone, "Told you the view is still beautiful." At Clark's questioning look Diana just smiles more, "Our friend here just is being a sourpuss today. He's grumpy about how I said the view is nice, he just replied about how we see it everyday."
Clark just smiles and looks down at Bruce, his smile turning amused when his friend doesn't move up the line. "Are you just going to stare at me all morning or will you move down the line?"
A scoff is all Bruce can give, not noticing the concerned looks shared over his head as he focuses on piling his food tray with dessert. The concern isn't necessarily from Bruce eating sweets, Diana and Clark both know how much their friend actually has a sweet tooth, the issue is coming from the fact he is willingly eating sweets in front of others on top of the amount it is. Clark just frowns worriedly and sits actual food on his plate while mouthing to Diana about what's wrong with Bruce.
In return, the princess just shakes her head and looks back down at Bruce, choosing to speak up. "You know, it's been awhile since we've eaten alone, just the three of us. Why don't we head to one of our rooms or something?" What she actually means by that is: "let's get Bruce alone so we can figure out what's wrong with him."
The two super powered heroes find themselves even more putoff at Bruce's distracted grunt...it is rare he pulls that one out, usually his grunts have some level of awareness to them, but this one is telling them that he's not actually paying attention. Which is cause for alarm in and of itself. Plus, Clark and Diana have been getting calls from Bruce's family, they are worried about how he's been acting as of late. They report Bruce is running off on them whenever they ask him what's wrong...which actually isn't out of character for Bruce, but if the Batfamily are saying it's different than usual, then it's different than usual.
The two taller heroes lead the shorter to his room, punching his code in before the door opens and they watch as Bruce automatically walks over to his bed and sits on it, shoving a cookie in his mouth and causing Clark to signal to Diana in confirmation that something is wrong.
They use their friend's distracted state to quietly talk about it while joining him in the room, "What's going on with him?" Diana raises her brow as she asks, tilting her head up and to the side so Clark can whisper in her ear. "I don't know for sure...but his lip is jutting out into a micro-pout. I quickly scanned him to see if he was hiding injuries, and while he's not, his muscles are tense as if he's holding back something."
Diana softly ah's and sets her tray down on Bruce's desk, the noise causing the man to look up at them finally. His eyebrows raising when noticing he's in his room, "Why didn't we just eat in the cafeteria?" Bruce holds back his fidgeting at the look the taller two heroes share.
Clark clears his throat, "We were going to originally...but we noticed you were acting off and suggested eating in one of our rooms as a test-"
Diana, being one to never hold back, gets to the point. "A test you failed, Bruce. To be honest, you've been acting off enough to worry your family into calling us to step in. So, can you please tell us what's going on?" Bruce feels genuine embarrassment that this is where his fixation has gotten him, he's too flustered to admit that his issue is the fact he's begun to notice people are bigger than him, I mean, what kind of issue is that?
At Bruce's silence Clark steps forward slightly, his voice patient and gentle when he speaks.
"We are your friends, B. Heck, you even feel like family. And family is there for each other just like me and Di are here for you. Jason has been feeling particularly bad lately...he says he didn't know what he did this time to make you so upset with him, you keep staring him down angrily only to storm off when he looks back at you."
Bruce feels angry with himself for letting such a stupid non-issue get this far. His looks of "anger" weren't anger towards Jason at all, he knows when he thinks hard about stuff he can sometimes look mean apparently, but he was never upset with his Jaylad...the distress was just showing on his face and Bruce most likely masked it with the first emotion that came to mind, one that's easiest for him to express or replicate; anger or irritation.
Bruce hates the involuntary distressed sound that escapes his crumb covered lips, however, for the sake of his family and ending this stupid misunderstanding, he chooses to be...honest (Batfamily: *collectively gasping*)
"Jason...he's bigger than me-" Bruce keeps the Batman mask on so he won't be too vulnerable, his hands tightening on the metal tray from the thought-"For months I have been noticing the sudden growth of my children and I...I didn't know what to do with that information. Did you know that Jason has to crouch when I hold him now? Since when did he need to do that?" At this point of his ranting, Bruce is out of bed and pacing across the room while his friends patiently listen.
"And then it hit me one day that Richard is truly a man now. Maybe that's why we got into so many fights before? I never truly realized that he didn't need my help like before-" Bruce pauses in the middle of the room and clenches his cape in his fists-"He is so much taller now and shining brighter than the little boy I picked up. Timmy is even starting to grow a bit more...which, I don't know if I should be upset or pleased that he's finally growing, that boy scares me sometimes with how small he was."
Bruce's hands instinctively reach up to run his fingers through his hair and he huffs at the mask being in the way, choosing to hide his hands underneath his cape instead.
"Wally is even so big now, did you know that? I remember the young boy with that fat freckled face pestering me about Alfred's cookies...and now that boy has the audacity to get big on me, I think I hate realizing that Dickie-bird is actually taller than his friend now, it's only by one or two inches-but still!" Bruce starts pacing again, his nerves building up once more and telling him to move.
"And don't get me started on Damian. I feel I constantly am trying to sabotage his growth...I never got to see him as a baby and so I hope he stays that small, chubby faced little boy I've come to know. I feel horrible for wishing against his growth, but I want to make his childhood as enjoyable as possible, did you know he didn't even know what movies were when he came here? He was deprived of fun and he can't grow too quickly now or fun childhood memories can't be made."
Bruce stops to finally stare at Diana and Clark, pointing accusingly at them.
"And then you two! I noticed it before, but it was never something of interest to me. I didn't need to pay attention to your heights when I feel small in other ways with you two...you-" Bruce grunts at Clark gently slamming into him and hugging him, the man sounding a mix of fond, touched, baffled and sad. "You don't need to feel small with us. I for one think you are bigger than any of us in many different ways...I mean, you just admitted to having a crisis at realizing your family grew."
Diana joins in on the hug with a soft chuckle, "I'm just surprised you didn't notice our height difference sooner. Clark and I always talked about how cute it is to pick you up, your our tiny human."
The woman just smiles more when Clark nudges her side in warning for her playful words, "But in all seriousness. This has to be the cutest moment we've seen from you ever, instead of a midlife crisis you are having a parental crisis-" Diana cackles again when Clark pokes her side again-"What? I am being serious. But also, this just shows how much you care...and I think it's only normal to feel this way when you never expected to have a family of your own in the first place."
Bruce's breath hitches at the gentleness in which Diana speaks the last part, his eyes prickling with tears at realizing deep down she's right. Ever since he took in Richard he was always amazed and scared at having a family, and no matter how much he's tried to deny it in his worst moments, that's what Richard became ever since he thought of taking him in. Bruce never expected a family, which is why he tries so hard to deny it...and I guess after years of taking care of children it's finally caught up to him that his family-more specifically, his children (because that's who they are) have grown into functioning adults.
He never thought he would want a family after losing his in that alleyway, but if anyone were to take down his defenses...of course it'd be a child.
Clark gently reaches up to tug Bruce's mask off and finds himself wanting to cry at seeing the fat droplets-hanging on for dear life-onto Bruce's eyes, even now his friend doesn't want to seem weak. He can't help but chuckle at the incredulous look Bruce gives him for wanting to cry as well.
"You can cry, Bruce. What are friends for?"
Bruce feels his face grow red, his body loosening in Clark and Diana's hold as months of tension leaves his being through his tears, choosing to hide his face in his friends strong bodies. He hates crying and how good it makes him feel afterwards, he doesn't think he deserves that feeling most days, but for now, it's okay. Bruce also can't help the eye roll at hearing Clark sniffle as well, he's such a crybaby. Diana just smirks at her two boys, carding her long, elegant fingers through Bruce's hair, the two taller heroes paying close attention to Bruce as he shifts in their hold and speaks up. Voice slightly muffled.
"Never speak about this to anyone."
Diana and Clark share a look before silently coming into agreement and lifting Bruce off his feet, reveling in his annoyed protests with laughter.
"We wouldn't dare."
("1. He isn't and 2. Even if he was, who would be brave enough to tell one of the richest men on earth-let alone THE Batman that he's short?" Does the second option imply or mean Bruce is short or is it just a scenario? You decide! I constantly switch between Bruce being a genuine short king and him just being around people that make him feel freaking short 😂.
"Clark gently reaches up to tug Bruce's mask off and finds himself wanting to cry at seeing the fat droplets-hanging on for dear life-onto Bruce's eyes, even now his friend doesn't want to seem weak." <-(Damian and Jason sipping on their tea: "Seems we found that answer to who we learned that from. 😌")
Also, I am so sorry this story got so long! I didn't mean to 😭. This idea has been in my head, and I usually forget my ideas...but this time I actually wanted to remember lol. This is also kind of based off of the one day I was hugging my baby brother and realized I actually had to look up at him...he's only 14 (while writing this I also just remembered he's 14 😭😭😭), I went back into my room and literally just sat there reminiscing on my bed about when he was brought home from the hospital to all the good times we had together and even things I wish I did different with him growing up 😂.
Also, also, I apologize for the constant whiplash from some semblance of humor (or something), to slightly crack-ish (I think so at least) writing to things getting deep and emotional. I was feeling fickle with the vibe of this story I guess, so I said: "why not everything?" 😂😂😂
This is getting even longer cause I like talking too much in notes lol, so I'm going to leave with a thank you! Anyone and everyone who bothers to read this long mess is very much appreciated!
Please remember to stay safe, happy, healthy and of course lovely as always. 💛)
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ao3cassandraic · 9 months
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I’m wondering about your thoughts on something I’ve been musing on after S2. How good is Aziraphale’s reading comprehension? How much does he understand subtext and metaphor? Because his behavior this season struck me with the impression that he didn’t really understand the books he collects. He’s clever at puzzle solving, and contains vast knowledge; but he always seems to take things at face value (when he’s not willfully misunderstanding), and refuses to give up black-and-white thinking, which would make it very difficult to analyze texts.
Angels, demons, language, and culture: part 1
You sure ask the difficult ones. (Which is great, I'm totally jazzed about it!)
I delayed answering this ask because it sent me off in a lot of directions:
What is an angel's starting knowledge base?
In contrast, how and what do we humans learn about our world and one another?
Which of these learning methods is not really available to an angel?
What do humans learn from books, fiction especially?
What kinds of information get left implicit in books because authors are humans writing for other humans?
How would an angel fill in those blanks? How would those blanks distort an angel's notion of How Humans and Human Things Work?
What would angels generally and either Aziraphale or Muriel (because yeah, it's hard to have this discussion without thinking about Muriel too) specifically read human-authored fiction for?
I don't have all the answers to the above questions. Not even CLOSE. I happily invite my fellow meta-ists to weigh in on any or all of them!
But let's see what I can tease out. We'll start with factory settings, so to speak.
Angelic vs. human factory settings
(questions 1 through 3)
Angels have (one) language. They have music -- or, at least, they can sing Her praises (likely by rote). At least some, like our Starmaker, have the knowledge to do specific jobs. Note that Aziraphale not only doesn't know how to make stars and nebulas, he's not even clear on what a nebula is. We can safely assume from that that angels don't all possess the same set of knowledge and skills purely by virtue (heh) of being angels.
We don't see, however, how much of what they know is simply an angel's birthright versus how much of it is somehow educated into them. We also don't know how She divvies up necessary knowledge, though I'd think it safe (given most takes on angelology) to guess that angelic rank and intended function are part of Her calculus, perhaps even the whole of it.
What strikes me hardest is that angels seem to be created either as adults or children (which is what I believe the scareable "cherubs" are), and they may well never change that state. The Starmaker is childlike in some ways, but not a child. Likely never was a child! Aziraphale, Before the Beginning, isn't childlike at all; his personality seems pretty close to fully-formed.
And children learn so very, very much. Babies learn so much as babies, while their neuroplasticity is super super plastic! Especially they learn about relating to other beings! (Which the Starmaker is conspicuously Not Real Great at, honestly -- absorbed in the work of creation, the Starmaker does not pick up the feelings Aziraphale is laying down at all.)
Children also learn one OR MORE languages, and that "more" is rather important, because language shapes how we think to some extent (the extent of that extent, and its nature, are objects of fierce debate among linguists and neuroscientists), and different languages shape us differently. Just as Crowley (as plenty of theologians argue) did humanity a favor with the whole knowledge-of-good-and-evil thing, the Tower of Babel (assuming that was a thing that happened in the GOverse; no reason it wouldn't have, I suppose) added a whole lot of nuance and complexity and competing understandings to humanity's sense of itself and its universe.
Exactly how angels and demons manage to speak all human languages (which Crowley indicates they can) isn't clear. If we accept that the Tower of Babel happened, both Heaven and Hell must have had to figure out a way to deal with it.
We do see, however, that angels and demons can be fluent in human languages without being fluent in human thought or human cultures. Gabriel and Sandalphon speak perfect English yet barely know which end of a book is up. Hastur and Ligur can't disentangle ciao/chow. And, I mean, actual food? Fuhgeddaboudit. So I see their linguistic facility as a sort of Douglas Adams Babel fish: it can translate an angel's or demon's thought into the target language, but it can't help an angel or demon think like an actual speaker of that language.
As an example, Gabriel can tell Job and Sitis about their new children, perfectly fluently. His purely-linguistic fluency does not help him understand that they loved their old children, much less why.
This may explain why Aziraphale studied French under M. Rossignol. He perhaps didn't feel he understood how French speakers think, and was interested enough in that to learn the language (as other meta-ists have noted, the language of love!) the human way.
So yeah, if I have a conclusion here it's that angels and demons can seem as off-center as they often do from a human perspective because they wholly missed out on a key period of human brain development.
What they have in its place appears to be... rules. Which is, I think, where I'll take this next.
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sapphire-weapon · 1 year
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Hi, I just wanna share that I ship Ashley and Leon since the original RE, and I ship them even more now more than ever. I just wanted to say that I’m glad that I saw your blog. You defend them from hate comments. I could never do that. All I do is hide the fact that I ship them because people online (and IRL) can really be mean when I say that they have a good potential together.
I just think that their relationship can be wholesome and built on trust. It is without ill intention and born out of care & adoration. Which I think are the some of the foundations of having a healthy relationship, that’s why I love the idea of them together. I know this may be cliche to say this, but I think they can complete each other in some ways.
Is it wrong to want a potentially healthy relationship for Leon? I don’t get why people hate on the idea of it so much. I mean people can not ship it, and that’s fine. I just don’t get it when others start attacking because I mention that I ship them. It’s like I feel like I’m about to get executed whenever I say that they have a chemistry together 😆
Also, I apologize for talking so much about them. I just have no one to talk to when it comes to them. I just wanna share it to someone.
Lastly, I wanna say that you make deep analysis on not just their relationship and dynamics, but also on other lores on the RE franchise which I enjoy reading. It really gives a lot of new perspectives & insights on a lot of things that I don’t notice when I play the game. Thank you for this, really!
aw, anon
I also went through a period of very many years where I wouldn't say out loud that I shipped Leon and Ashley, because there was a stretch of a very long time in fandom where you got tarred and feathered if you dared have a Leon ship that wasn't Cleon or Aeon. Even shipping him with Chris was considered taboo back in the day (and, wouldn't you know, I do that, too).
And I was scared that people wouldn't take my (completely unrelated, mind you!!) meta seriously if they knew I shipped Leon/Ashley, so I just kept quiet about it. I even tried to pass it off, for a while, that I had no RE ships at all. It was just easier to say that than be dodgy about it.
It was actually kind of funny. For a while, a not-insignificant portion of the fandom went to me, specifically, for all of their Leon things, and I just had to kind of laugh at how ridiculous it was that these same people would've just stopped agreeing with anything I said about him -- things that they agreed with and had been relying on for their own interpretations -- if they'd known I shipped him with Ashley. It's all very, very stupid.
But now I'm in my 30s and I don't give a fucking shit anymore. I don't care about being an authority on canon anymore. I'm happy to be a reference if someone needs it, but I don't care about being the central hub of information. I don't need to try to make people feel impartially about me anymore.
But, authority or not, I'm still a story analyst at heart before anything else. I look at Leon's character first and then think about any possible ships second. And, yeah. After analyzing him for so long, I've noticed that Ashley brings out a side of him that isn't shown at any other point -- and it's in a positive way that's absent when she's gone. So, naturally and logically, in my head, it stands to reason that there's something to that.
Some people seem to be under the impression that Leon's character arc lives and dies by Ada's involvement, and boy is that just not the case. There's a lot of different moving parts when it comes to Leon's character arc, but he's primarily defined by the striking lack of agency he has, despite being one of the main characters of the series. Ada perpetuates and exacerbates that helplessness, but it would still exist without her. In Leon's own words: "nothing ever changes" and THAT is what's at the center of his character arc.
But even beyond that, Leon is a character who needs to be needed; it's something that's shown over and over and over and over again. So, as much as people like the idea of a "partners" type ship (like Chris/Jill) and so they ship him with Claire -- or as much as people like the whole cat-and-mouse will-they-won't-they thing that Leon has going on with Ada -- neither Claire nor Ada need Leon, so it would never really work in the long-term.
And as much as Leon doesn't want Ashley to need him... he still needs her to. Because he doesn't realize that Ashley can both need him emotionally because that's what romance is you fucking stupid idiot, Leon -- and also be her own independent person living her life to the fullest at the same time.
And you know what? I like queen/knight ships, and that's exactly what Leon and Ashley are. So I just embrace it.
This isn't to discount other people's tastes or ship preferences. Ship whatever the hell yall want. But Leon/Ashley has always existed, will always exist, and it's just as valid as any other ship. Thankfully, the remake seems to have made it more "acceptable" -- which really just tells me that the only reason why we Leon/Ashley folks were blacklisted for so long is because the vast majority of the fandom was just bad at RE4 and took out their impotent gamer rage on Ashley, as though it was her fault they sucked at the game. (If you got annoyed at Ashley screaming for help in OG -- or in remake, even -- it's because you let her get grabbed. It's player error.)
Just sayin.
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stainedglassthreads · 10 months
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My general take on the discussion surrounding The Event at the very end of Good Omens season 2:
Ultimately, I think there was just a lot going on for both Aziraphale and Crowley, and that there were a great many reasons why they made the choices they did, and why their discussion went the way it did. Most of the stuff in the Good Omens and Good Omens Meta tag I've seen is centered around this conversation and analyzing both Aziraphale's and Crowley's actions and motivations and character arc. That's more than enough proof that there was a lot going on in this scene.
At its very base level, I think that it is effectively 'Aziraphale thinks Heaven can be fixed, Crowley things Heaven and Hell are both unfixable'. But because they frame this belief in the context of their relationship and make it really emotional and personal, it gets messy and they don't properly communicate everything.
Aziraphale does still have some baggage to unpack in terms of Heaven. He doesn't particularly like Heaven, or all the angels there. But he's just seen proof that Gabriel changed for the better, and he's not as bitter or resentful as Crowley has become. He still thinks of Heaven as 'the good guys'. As better than Hell. He just needs to nudge it back onto the right path. If he can just make it deserving of Crowley, then he can see Crowley happy again. He can see everything just get better. Whether Heaven was ever actually better or not is something Aziraphale will have to realize for himself.
This is, as some have resulted, probably a result of Aziraphale's experiences and Heaven's manipulation. Heaven does use what appear to be multiple cult manipulation tactics. Control of information, isolation, discouraging the asking of questions, threatening exile to those who don't follow the rules. Crowley got kicked out of Heaven for asking questions, and has experience in both Hell and Earth. But while Aziraphale has been on Earth and is more attached to it than other angels, he's never fallen from Heaven. He's still a part of Heaven, and possibly fears being kicked out of that community, and what falling would be like--and it leads to how he treats Crowley, even if he doesn't mean to be condescending or self-righteous like the other angels.
And this ties perfectly into the Metatron. I do believe that the Metatron is manipulating things. I don't believe they've been manipulating the entirety of season 2. I do believe that, since the Book of Life and what it can do has been set up, it'll play a major part in season 3--but I don't think that the Metatron actually needed it to get what the Metatron wanted. This was a really fantastic analysis of the Metatron that influenced my thinking here.
I'm actually genuinely uncertain how much the Book of Life has been used up to this point. I don't think it's been used heavily in season 2--like I said, there's really no reason to. Clearly, it wasn't used to erase Crowley's memory of really security-critical things like, I dunno, the passwords to highly restricted classified information. Most of the 'hints' brought up seem to be Crowley not remembering specific angels and demons he's met before. One of whom he meets and forms a very lengthy friendship and alliance with again anyways. Which is just...baffling to me as a concept. Maybe it'll become clearer later with some context, but we have too little info for now to understand the point.
So I guess, my feelings on Metatron using the Book of Life is...it'd be cool, and I have few doubts he might later. But I don't think he's had a reason to yet, especially not in order to orchestrate the entirety of season 2. The best lies are the ones that remain very close to the truth. The tragedy of the situation isn't that the Metatron was to blame for everything, and the issues can be pinned solely on him. Maybe he heightened the stakes a little by offering Aziraphale things he wanted, or felt he had to do. But the Metatron was playing on feelings, issues, insecurities, and desires that were already THERE.
In all likelihood, had the Metatron not intervened, this argument or one very like it, would've still happened--but, with the Metatron sweeping Aziraphale away to Heaven right after, he's made it significantly more complicated for Crowley to change his mind, return to Aziraphale, and work out apologies and compromises and actually talk about their feelings. And perhaps with offering Aziraphale something he felt so strongly about, he also caused Crowley to stay away for longer.
But 'fixing it versus running away' is something Aziraphale and Crowley have butt heads over several times, and they'd need to address it eventually. Crowley points out in the Job flashback that Heaven if just looking away while Hell does its dirty work, and Aziraphale disapproves in that instance, but whenever Aziraphale wants to go against Heaven's orders, what he tends to do is...beg Crowley to do something. Ask Crowley to save Job's kids, rely on Crowley to save him from Nazi spies, ask Crowley to do something about Satan, bring up killing the Anti-Christ with Crowley. Yes, Crowley loves saving him. But everything in moderation. That's another thing they really need to work out, Aziraphale needs to do his own 'dirty work' if he really believes in his idea of good, rather than Heaven's.
So. Yeah. There's a lot going on and I love all the discussion of everyone bringing their own points of view up.
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Hi! I adore your analyses.
If it isn't too much to ask, I would love to hear about your general approach to analyzing works. I wanna learn how to analyze things better from other people, and I really like the way you methodically break things down.
In other words, pls sensei teach me your ways HAHAHA
No trouble if you can't, though! Your blog is always a joy.
Have a wonderful day!
Sensei... 🫢
Ah, thank you, this is really flattering! I don't think I really do anything that special. Honestly, all it is was that I got misinterpreted a lot when I was younger and it made it difficult for me to express myself - so I ended up creating something of a system which I found seems to make things clear to others!
I can do a quick overview of it, for sure! I hope it helps! (It's under the cut :D)
Tip 1: Analyze things you love.
Look, this isn't school and I'm not a literary critic. I don't bother forcing myself to analyze things I'm just not feeling. Sometimes, I'll really enjoy something, but have nothing to say about it in particular. (Ex. Akutagawa. I adore him but for some reason don't feel compelled to analyze him as much... even though he's this blog's pfp...) That's not a commentary on the character/media nor my engagement with it. No need to analyze something you don't particularly care to - these write ups take a fair amount of time and effort, so you'll want to have enough raw energy at the start to sustain yourself. You should want to talk about it, is what I'm saying.
Tip 2: Understand the core themes of the story.
I cannot stress this enough! It's so important. The best stories will have their characters, plot arcs and settings all serve to enhance the major themes of the story in some way - figure out what these themes are, and keep them in the back of your mind. I think of themes like a filter - it should change the way you look at the story, and with any luck, draw a lot of seemingly loose threads together in interesting and surprising ways. There are typically about 2-3 major ones (Ex. BSD - living through uncertainty, good as a choice / Trigun - morality and autonomy, life after loss / Hatoful - love as salvation or corruption / there are other themes of course, these are just examples). From this point on, assume you have your "themes filter" active for completing the other tips.
Tip 3: Pick a small detail and think about "Why" and "How".
See, I used to go too big when doing analyses. I used to try and analyze everything there was to examine in one go, and it would become unwieldy and just have far too much information for me to juggle and process. So, it's better to start small. What's something that caught your attention? What was something you liked? Was there anything that confused you? Pick one thing... then ask yourself why and how. Why did I like this? Why did this character act in that way? How does this aspect of the story work? Etc. This will be your topic!
Tip 4: Read other people's thoughts.
I know we all hate going into tags and seeing some of the worst takes out there... so I don't actually do that. I only look through meta and theory tags, and most of those are done by people who put a lot of time and care into their theory crafting, so they at least usually bring the receipts. It always helps to read other's opinions. This is just a good thing in general - you need to open yourself up to different views. Even if you don't agree, you might be better able to articulate why you don't. There's some god-tier stuff in these theory tags, you just gotta look. :)
Tip 5: Pay attention to context and setting.
For most of the stories I analyze, the characters do not exist in a world or situation that is comparable to mine. Asking yourself "where did this character come from?" "what's the overall state of the world they inhabit?" "were this character's experiences different or similar to the rest of the cast? different or similar to their childhoods?" - this is really going to help you understand motivation, far more than core personality traits will alone. (Ex. remember that BSD is a newly post-war society. Tensions are still high. People are being hired at young ages. A lot of people grew up in the slums, and violence is common. How did the different characters interact with this world? What sides might one character have seen to this world that another didn't?)
Also, it's good to at least be somewhat aware of the author and the context they created their story in. Many of the works I analyze are from Japan. It's good to know where a work is from - typically you're going to see at least some expression of cultural values, and I find this is helpful to keep in mind. Some decisions made in story will make a lot more sense when you remember the story's place of origin.
Looking at author influences is also helpful! BSD has a great built-in source of background info, since the entire premise incorporates classic literature. This can be an excellent supplementary source!
Tip 6: Tell a story with your analysis.
Again, I'm doing this for fun. I'm not a literary academic, so I try to use conversational flow. I tend to write like I'm speaking - in fact, this is very much how I talk in real life. It's up to you the tone you set in your writing - just make it something that flows naturally. You can always go back and re-read it if something seems unclear.
What I mean by story is to break your analysis up into chunks. There's no hard and fast rule on how to do this. You can see a clear example of it in my "Dazai Likes People" post, which was long enough that I bolded the sections. It should have a beginning, middle, and end, roughly - beginning where you say what you want to analyze or lead into it somehow, middle (which I typically break up into individual topics), and the end, which honestly is just a rephrasing of the beginning (or sometimes I just leave it out). Sometimes, to break things up I'll add quotes or images that help me with my points; these serve as visual interest so the reader is not faced with a continuous wall of text. Bolding and italicizing key points can also do the trick.
A good way to see if the analysis flows is to see if you can say "so then..." between each paragraph. (Ex. Point 1 -> "so then..." -> Point 2 -> "so then..." -> Point 3, etc.) Each point should flow into the next - I try to make something of a narrative out of it. (It's why the word "so" pops up a lot in my analyses haha.) I'm sorry, I feel like this is the part that's the hardest to explain in a way that's easy to follow. It's mostly practice, really. It's also subjective how you want your analysis to read.
Tip 7: Fact check!
I hate spreading misinformation. Mostly because it's frustrating to have constructed a theory only to get called out that it's based on something misremembered, but also because, as a science student, I'm really mindful of keeping track of my sources. Always have your sources on hand! I spend at least three re-reads of my analyses consulting books, episodes, and manga to ensure that everything I've added is correct. (I might go a bit overboard with it sometimes... I can be a bit paranoid about this...)
And finally, my Golden Rule: ✨Explanation, not Justification!✨
If you have no other takeaway from this post, please remember this! Every character in the story should have their actions be explainable! This does not mean justifiable! Explanation is not just logic, and should always take into account character values, emotions, and situation. This will help prevent analyzing characters only from the perspective of relatability, and is very useful when analyzing antagonists/villains.
Character analysis is always about drawing a throughline between motivation and action. It's not about whether you would do the same, or whether you agree, or whether it is a choice you would forgive.
Everyone has their reasons for doing what they do. This is true in fiction, and it's also true in real life. I try to always keep this in mind.
I hope this was helpful to you, or to anyone who might want to read it!
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tori-artemis · 1 year
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Thank you, @iamanartichoke for the asks! Writing this all out kind of made my day. 💜💜💜
Alright, so here we go:
9. Worst part of canon:
The fact that nothing ever is fully explored, omg! Like we see Loki being shocked and repulsed when he learns about his heritage, right, we see him almost physically recoil at the sight of his arm turning blue, we see him hesitate right when he's about to reach for Odin, bc he's afraid his touch will hurt him. So we know he has issues with this fact about himself, he's bothered by the fact that he's Jotun, and then several films later and... nothing. This is never really touched on again. Which is a shame, bc there's so much angst and character potential here!
And it keeps happening, like we see Loki fall into the void, we see he's still alive but seemingly roughed up at the end Thor 1, we see him in Avengers looking near-feral and clearly not well, but then those experiences of his are never explored, never even fully acknowledged, and IDK, it just bugs me.
(Also this isn't even necessarily about Ragnarok solely, bc I kinda include The Dark World here too. As much as Tom Hiddleston acted the hell out of his scenes, and he certainly had these things in mind during his performance, and as decent as the writing was overall, the fact that this was never mentioned, or brought up, or Thor never bothered to ask or they never had an argument where this info just spilled out... it just frustrates me, y'know. Like I would've actually enjoyed Dark World a lot more if these things had been explored in a meaningful way, or even just at all, but yeah. I'm not hating on the film, it's not the worst but I'd be lying if I said that I loved, or even really liked it, bc... well yeah.)
10. Worst part of fanon:
That Loki is the liarist liar ever, who ever liared his way into lying? Or that he's Stabby McBackstabber, or Traitor McGee or whatever. Mr "Power Hungry for a Throne" wants his power fixation and is fucking shit up bc he can - and bc he's apparently turned into goddamn Littlefinger from Game of Thrones and he's just climbing that chaos ladder, I guess. Tbf this is more the MCU/marvel fanon/misinterpretation of him, verses Loki fandom fanon in general, but I still see it and it's annoying. I guess if I had to pick fanon from the fandom tho... maybe it's less the fanon and more the extremism of certain fanons? Like - Loki's a good person at heart, he's loyal, he deeply loves and cares for his family (and his people/realm), we all know this, but then when that's the only thing that ever gets applied to his decision making, when you take away his more "unsavory" qualities (particularly his envy and resentment of Thor - understandable as those feelings may be, they're still, well, pretty dark emotions y'know), then you just strip a character of all his nuance and turn him into a one note saint, and those are never fun. He's basically reduced to being just as shallow as Traitor McGee over there, just from an opposite viewpoint. I love him more when he's human and flawed, he doesn't have to be a perfect saint for me to love him as a character.
(Like yes - Loki is perfect, but in that he's perfectly imperfect, if that makes any sense.)
22. Part of canon that you love that everyone else ignores:
I'm not sure tbh? I'm like the last person to give these great meta-insightful answers bc I kinda just get all my information from other meta writers. Like I never actually analyzed any of the Thor films - or any MCU film for that matter, I kinda just watch and enjoy the ride, and it wasn't until I started reading all this great Loki meta on Tumblr that I started to actually think about any of this stuff at all. But I guess if I had to pick something... um something I really liked, in Ragnarok of all things, was how Loki seemed to joke about the more difficult/upsetting aspects of his past (ex: his suicide attempt, and to a lesser degree his Jotun heritage bc I do think he has a lot of unresolved issues when it comes to that). Which is strange bc a lot of fans actually have said they hated that, but for a character known for putting a front and wearing masks I honestly found it pretty in character for him. Like I do think Loki uses humor to downplay his own pain/angst/struggles in general. The comment he says about Frigga (after she was recently murdered mind you) when Thor says "She wouldn't want us to fight" (voice full of pain) and Loki just - tearfully, yet lightheartedly quips back "well she wouldn't exactly be shocked" - it's things like that. And granted, I know those two scenes were very different, and he was with Thor in the latter scene, which also changes everything on how he responds/presents himself etc., but I can't help but see it as another example of Loki using humor to lighten up a conversation/bad memory. (There are probably better examples out there, but I'm too tired to search for any).
Just basically: if anyone would make a sarcastic joke about their own suicide attempt and shrug it off as no big deal... it'd be Loki.
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