#this made me laugh my ass off | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

smolsammichowo · 9 months

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"I didn't vote Abolish waystones because

THEY STOLE

MY FUCKING

COUCH "

#qsmp #qsmp fitmc #qsmp tubbo #tubbo #fitmc #this made me laugh my ass off #like out of everything he was pissed off the most that got taken it was his fuckin couch #DONT MESS WITH THE MANS COUCH

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wnightingales · 2 years

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in honor of Wardlow killing 20 jobbers live on tv rn here is my fave tweet from today

and here’s a bonus cute fact about it:

#this made me laugh my ass off #wrestling #aew #aew dynamite #wardlow #gabbi’s wrestling liveblog

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queenimmadolla · 2 years

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Ok i gotta tell someone and you asked for this cause you asked for asks...

I cant...I cant stand certain terms when it comes to describing sex. Her pillowy walls- IMMEDIATELY i am removed from the story fjsjdisi

OH MY GOD you just made my week and it’s barely even started

I can’t say shit tho bc sometimes I think the same thing but when I go to write smut I’m like how the fuck am I gonna refer to how a vagina feels without comparing it to the inside of a hot pocket, y’know? it’s rough out here describing sex and making it sexy 😂 but yeah, there are terms I see and I like lock my phone for a sec to contemplate then unlock it and keep reading bc I’m thirsty, quite parched lmao

#$ replies #this made me laugh my ASS off #gonna need a bbl

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randomsufff · 9 months

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You know what I really need in fanfics? More confession scenes where one person drops the confessions then runs, fast as fuck, in the other direction.

Like, obviously they’ll meet back up eventually and talk about it (which is hilarious in itself they they would have to sprint to catch up while yelling why they’re like this) , BUT THINK ABOUT IT!!! It 1) give the other person a chance to gather their thoughts so the person confessing doesn’t have to sit in anxious silence and 2) allows the confessor to get it over with quick and overcomes that anxiety over confessing. Also it’s just fucking hilarious.

Like imagine your fav paring or whatever, they get to that part where one (or both idk) realizes their feelings for the other but they’re just anxious to be vulnerable like that or they fear rejection, whatever. One of them suddenly goes, fuck it, and they turn to the other. (Maybe they’re on a sidewalk, maybe their in a park IDK endless possibilities here) and they go:

“ok I’m about to say something, it’s nothing bad (I hope) and I’m willing to talk about it after I say it. I’m 100% serious, this is really not a joke. But I’m going to say this and run to (relevant location). Ok? Ok…. Don’t freak out… iminlovewithyou” *Cue maniac SPRINTING as fast as humanly possible in the other direction* (Bro I’m cracking up just typing about this)

AND THEN!!! You get to chose how they react after a few stunned seconds. Do they sprint after them? Do they shout to bring their ass back over to them? Do they race like hell to beat the other at the determined location??? I don’t know, but it’s hilarious as fuck and can transition seamlessly into heartfelt feeling talk.

(Thinking about this with specific ships is funny as hell too)

Idk I think of more fics had this trope we could all have a grand ol silly time instead of accidentally speed reading through confession schemes because the stress is too much then having to go back and re-read it to fully process it, as one does. You know?

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traumatizedjaguar · 2 months

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you were a scared dog

#traumatizedjaguar #actuallyabused #traumacore #ventcore #angercore #ragecore #lol definitely no need for any tw at all made me laugh #my ass off

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rrandomtthings · 9 months

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It’s funny when u think ab how Oda approved of Helmeppo being butt naked for absolutely no reason

#made me laugh my ass off when zoro walked in #one piece #opla #one piece live action #opla spoilers #rran.txt

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howdydopillar · 3 months

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I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE STARLINGS CAN MFING JUMP??????????????????

#THESE BITCHES CAN JUMP. IM SHOCKED AND HORRIFIED NOW.#I TRIED TO SEE IF NATHAN COULD JUMP BUT HE GOT STUCK LMFAO 😭😭😭😭…#AND THEN GARY LITERALLY CAME OVER AND JUMPED. I WAS LAUGHING MY ASS OFF SO HARD.#I GENUINELY LOVE THIS GAME. IT MAY GET ME WITH ITS JUMPSCARE AND SCARY MOMENTS BUT I LOVE IT ALL #shipwrecked64 #shipwrecked 64 #dawgs the original post I made of this video wouldn’t let me fix the tags 😭😭#shipwrecked 64 spoilers

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dumpster-fire-sapphic-failgirl · 4 months

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Aabria: Will you stay to take care of Mi-

Gina: Nope. Seafoam. Dissolve into sea foam.

Aabria: I… are you sure?

Gina: Yup!

Aabria: O-okay

[15 min later]

Gina: I DIDNT KNOW LIVING WAS AN OPTION

#candela obscura #this is not a criticism #but made me laugh my ass off #bc it sure seemed like Aabria was going for Mina as Home #and maybe the child that was the part of the Empress

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aleppothemushroom · 7 days

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I saw IF yesterday

First off, I completely understand why this didn't click with critics. This is a movie that takes the "avoid exposition at all costs" rule to an extreme level. It also has a big twist may or may not rub people the wrong way. Not to mention, it's not an entirely original family film with several of its plot points being done before.

However, I am a sucker for "adults reconnecting with their inner child" stories. Not to mention, I can tell that's what director John Krasinski was trying to invoke here. He wants to make one of those "old-fashioned" family movies from the 90s. If that's not your cup of tea, skip this one.

I do want to point out that the acting here is incredibly top-notch. Even the main child actress gives an incredibly believable performance. Not to mention it's nice to see Ryan Reynolds play a character that isn't so "Ryan Reynolds." Some of the voice cast can feel a bit like getting celebrity names on the poster, but the main ones really become their characters.

Speaking of which, I love the IFs. Every single one of them has a totally unique design. They all look like they come from different movies, which is fine by me since they're supposed to be imaginary friends. I want to hug Blue so bad.

So, in conclusion, I liked it. Yeah, it's basically if Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends the movie if it was directed by Steven Spielberg in the 90s, but I can appreciate it for being a homage to classic family films. If you like stuff like Jumanji or Hook you might like this. Also, looking at the film's box office, I understand why these types of movies aren't really made that often anymore. But I have a feeling 20 years from now, this movie will have an incredibly nostalgic fanbase.

#if #if movie #movie review #review #john krasinski #ryan reynolds #that marshmallow if made me laugh my ass off

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jacqcrisis · 5 months

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As someone who's been a Jerma fan since the TF2 days, the joke I miss the most was the 'this is NOT a beginner Jerma stream' comments. Like my man had difficulty levels for his streaming experiences. Like you needed a warning and a debriefing before clicking on Twitch to see unregistered Hypercam, a lie detector test, him killing santa, or Jerma trying desperately to get a copy of Red Dead Redemption for hours, getting increasingly unhinged with every avenue that got blocked for some unknown cosmic level reason so he ends up playing Skate 3, a real person fighting game, TF2, and another game where he superimposes his mouth over character's mouth to make it look like he's talking for them, aka, my favorite Jerma bit ever.

A lot of this is now just kind of standard fare after the carnival and dollhouse, but that was never not funny to see on the subreddit or the 2ndJerma videos when a new stream happened and the old veterans all gathered round and labeled it 'not a beginner Jerma stream'.

#jerma #jerma985 #made me laugh every. time.#this is not a beginner jerma stream #dont show this to your friends if you want them to talk to you #dont show them jerma making a birdhouse or smashed on red wine or fucking bugleberry #any time jerma fucks with the webcam im laughing my ass off #its very funny to me

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arguablysomaya · 5 months

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jason texting dick the morning of Christmas

(insp. by this)

#this thread made me laugh my ass off #shut up somaya #batfam #dcu #dc universe #batfamily #batman #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batfam quotes #jason todd #dick grayson

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prettyhighforawhiteguyblog · 4 months

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I'm the wife in my marriage.

It's funny to me anyway. Funny to me because my wife is the very picture of femininity, loving, caring, sexy, pretty, beautiful wife, loving and adored by all her children. And a satisfied and hot for her husband.

But to me she is beautiful and terrible as the Dawn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love her and despair!

And yet she chose me.

So to all the hella ladies who rejected my advances? Y'all missed out. Because she saw in me what way too many people couldn't. And sometimes still can't.

And she wants to run my life. And the lives of our whole family. And we all kinda love it. Mostly. But it ain't worth the headache or heartache of fighting her on anything. She's Daddy's little princess and her mother is the loving matron and queen bitch of the family and we all stay in line. Mostly. I love to do my own thing too much for my own good. But it keeps our fights about stupid stuff instead of my weed use again.

(I'm dead ass functional and present from 6am on till I finally get my insomniac ass too sleep while high just to escape the constant anxiety about my sick daughter's upcoming surgery, my dying suegro, my mourning wife, disturbed autistic son, special needs princess Daddy's girl I'm spoiling her to death to make her just as powerful and ungovernable mother and it's working too well already. Have you ever negotiated with a hostile bitchy entitled as fuck child? )

Anyway, you wouldn't know it looking at me or talking normal chitchat, but I'm pretty fucking manly. In the way my culture defines manliness. I'm not very masculine. But I'm very manly.

I'm feminine as fuck in my household. I mother the kids, help their emotional development, work on my wife's emotional and mental well-being, and I'm the one never in the mood for sex. And I do every single thing she says. And then she does the discipline and management of the family's affairs. And she's the one who has to seduce me. Did I mention she was sexy as fuck? (While I'm awkward as fuck every time we even roleplay.) And a horny Latina. (That's why these horny sexy, nice, Latinos are taking over. It's natural selection. The Whites just can't compete and as usual are getting their panties in a twist over not being able to compete even with everything in their favor to out reproduce them all but it was too many kids for a nuclear family to handle Whites.) So beautiful hot queen sexy as fuck Latina seduces me every night. #blessed. So fuck yeah I don't wanna fuck up this arrangement. So I do everything she tells me to and treat her real good and let her win every argument and over apologize. Except when I make a rare exception to make a stand in something important or just to make some trouble and have some fun.

Oh yeah. She's a clean freak 😮‍💨 But she's an impatient Latina housewife perfectionist clean freak. So she gets mad at my perfectly good job when company isn't ever coming job and tells me to stop even trying to clean. Go play Minecraft with your daughter to keep her occupied.🤣

I have the best living situation ever. I'll be your bitch my bitchy highness. Just please keep playing with my hair on your lap. Oh, and that sucking my dick the way you do and being right 95% of the time on judgement calls.

So yeah I'm the wife.

And I got a pretty good life.

#and know you know the rest of the story #when i was s younger man i had a good paying job at a factory plant as a temp worker #i liked this job #and it was easy clean indoor temp controlled light labor with a jovial #kindly and generally loving crowd of people all just trying to earn a living in this shit economy #and care for each get along with each other #it was a really nice atmosphere. there was only a little manager taking advantage of a woman's situation to force a relationship.#but she was petty please about the whole arrangement because she was lonely and he was kind and likable and #good looking younger guy #and it made her job impossible to get the boot #even as it got easier to boot #anyways i worked my ass off and just tried to get along with the boss #and it paid great #We could have been poor and happy working jobs like that for life if i really had to got some reason #but anyways this bossman manager sees me sweeping my ass off a clean floor and instead of telling me to go lean on a post for a bit #tells me I'm doing a good job #and that I'll make a someone s fine wife someday #i wanted to slap that smug mother fucker up there head w my broom. But i was laughing to hard at that fuckers joke because i liked the guy.#and i liked my job #anyway #here i am being a good little wife #and I'm living the life of Reilly doing it #i don't know the etymology of that phrase is. only my Dad says it in my experience #it might be good own little creation.#you're welcome #And the mother fucker just let me keep sweeping my dumbass all over a clean floor!#Union strong

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monster4monster-bracket · 4 months

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Propaganda under the cut

SkekEkt X SkekAyuk (EktAyuk) - The Dark Crystal

Skeksis are a violent evil species who all fight each other and backstab. Not SkekEkt and SkekAyuk. They hang out, gossip, discuss their tastes and health, and SkekAyuk held a welcome home banquet just for SkekEkt. There is a reason why the fandom has shipped them and seen them as the Gomez and Morticia of TDC for years.

SkekVar/SkekZok - The dark crystal

Big man x freak man

#monster4monster #monster4monster bracket #the dark crystal #the dark crytsal: age of resistance #age of resistance #skekekt #skekayuk #ektayuk #skekvar #skekzok #varzok #poll tournament #poll bracket #the varzok propaganda made me laugh my ass off when I first read it

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makorragal-312 · 2 months

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Okay...

So the Buck and Chris conversation DEFINITELY didn't go the way I thought it would. Even as a joke.

Excuse me while I go in a corner and cry.