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highladyandromeda · 1 month

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The Stolen Pen

Azriel x Fem!Reader

Summary: Azriel inadvertently steals a pen from Y/n, his crush. His covert operations to rectify the situation spirals into a comedy of errors…will Azriel be able to return the pen and admit his feelings, or will he forever be labeled as a thief?

Warnings: None, just fluff with stupid decisions, a sprinkle of jealousy, silly mistakes, and perhaps too many details about pens.

A/N: So I was supposed to be writing my other fic, but I was a bit stumped on where to take that…So I started this with the intention of it being a cute, short, one-shot or blurb…but here we are…7k words later….this is a fluffy mess.

“Ohhh there come the lover boy”, Cassian whisper-yells, as Azriel silently slides into the chair next to Nesta in their shared criminal justice elective. His attempt at stealth, however, is foiled by that not-so-subtle announcement. With a scowl aimed at Cassian, Azriel attempts to shrink further into his chair, hoping that their professor remains engrossed in her lecture and oblivious to his tardiness.

“Shhhhhh” Nesta whispered, smacking the back of Cass’s head, giving Azriel some support before she smirked, “He’s not lover boy yet. Have you even been able to say something beyond hello and goodbye?

The question hits Azriel with the force of a freight train, his cheeks burning with a flush that he prays is hidden by the shadow of his hoodie. He's saved from having to voice his defeat by the TA, who chooses that moment to distribute study guides for their impending exam. Grateful for the distraction, Azriel takes out his pen, only to catch the curious—and amused—gazes of Nesta and Cassian directed not at him, but at his hand.

Always self-conscious about his scars, he hunches further into his hoodie, but as he follows their stares back to his paper, Azriel's heart sinks. In his hand lies a distinctly feminine, pink pen adorned with a star or flower emblem at its tip, an object so glaringly out of place in his grip that it screams for attention. The realization hits him like a wave, leaving him momentarily speechless. Oh. Oh.

“Please tell me that's whose I think it is," Nesta teases, barely containing her laughter as she observes Azriel's stunned silence.

At Azriel’s complete silence, Nesta waved a hand in front of his face, glancing at Cassian and mouthing did he stop functioning? To which she got a shoulder shrug in response.

Her attempts to elicit a response from him were futile; Azriel was lost in a haze of embarrassment, fixated on the damning piece of evidence in his hand. Nesta's playful pokes did nothing to snap him out of his daze, and in a moment of sheer mortification, Azriel let his forehead meet the desk with a thud loud enough to turn heads. If he thought he was invisible before, he's anything but now.

Azriel was mortified.

He was utterly and completely mortified. Azriel felt like he was living in a nightmare, one where embarrassment was the main theme, and there was no waking up. He wished for anything—a magic trapdoor beneath his feet, or maybe a sudden, convenient superpower to teleport himself out of this situation. But no, the reality was far less accommodating, especially since he was holding onto something that wasn't his. A pen. Not just any pen, but one that belonged to you, given in a moment of desperation.

Azriel let out a groan, which Cassian tried to cover with a cough that was more like a shout, and Nesta with the dramatic slam of her books. Their attempts were valiant but futile against the tidal wave of Azriel's mortification.

He thought back to earlier in the day, in the calculus class he shared with you, the one in which he always sat in the back corner and one day you came in late, and sat next to him. Somehow, since then, you kept coming back to that spot, and though he replied each time to your good mornings and goodbyes, he wanted to speak up. Maybe ask if you were new because he would've noticed you in the previous math classes. Or maybe inquire if you had transferred, under the guise of offering a tour of the campus. Yet, whenever he caught sight of your ebony hair and the spark in your eyes, words fled from him, leaving silence in their wake.

Just like today, where for once he was there after you…he had made it a bit of a habit to be early to that one class, mainly because it was a class that was important to his major. Of course, he couldn’t finish his computer science degree if he failed multivariable calculus, and the…added benefit of watching you walk into the building from the windows and then up the stairs, always giving him a smile before sitting down, was just that…a benefit.

But yes, today he slept through his alarm, got trapped in a conversation with his elderly neighbor, the one he didn’t know how to escape without Cass or Rhys, was almost run over twice on his motorcycle, and arrived as a verifiable mess to class. After jumping into his seat, he patted himself down so rigorously and nearly up-ended his entire bag trying to find a pen, needing to copy down the partial derivatives he knew the professor would showcase on their next exam.

His frantic search for a writing instrument ended when you noticed his plight and offered yours with a simple, "Do you need a pen?" Frozen, Azriel could only nod, accepting the lifeline you offered but cursing his inability to say anything more–Oh, caldron boil and fry me…

“You stole her pen?”

“I–I didn’t steal her pen, Nesta”

“You stole her pen.”

“Her mount blank pen”, added Cassian, smiling cheekily behind his phone.

“Whose what–Cass, don’t smile at me with fries sticking out of your mouth.” Feyre joins them in their usual diner, sliding into the booth next to Az.

“He stole his crush’s pen,” Cass continues, swallowing his food this time, after Nesta pinched his thigh.

“I didn’t steal her pen!”

“You stole someone’s pen?” Rhys joins, sliding next to Feyre and setting down a tray of milkshakes.

Azriel's cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red, if that was even possible, under the relentless teasing of his friends. "I didn't steal it. She lent it to me," he mumbled, his voice barely rising over the din of the diner.

"Ah, but you've yet to return it," Rhys pointed out, a mischievous glint in his eye as he took a sip of his milkshake. "Sounds like a classic case of pen-napping to me."

"It's not like that," Azriel protested, but the laughter from his friends suggested they weren't buying his defense. He glanced down at the pen in question, its sleek design and the way it perfectly balanced in his hand making it all the more precious now that it was a symbol of his hapless affection.

Feyre, having quietly observed the exchange with a gentle smile, finally chimed in. "Maybe it's fate, Azriel. That pen could be your excuse to finally talk to her."

Azriel's heart skipped a beat at the thought. Talk to you. Use words this time instead of just nodding like a lovestruck fool. It sounded so simple when Feyre said it, but the mere idea sent his pulse racing.

His thoughts were interrupted by Feyre's voice again, pulling him back to the present. "Wait, Az, can I see it?" Her curiosity piqued, she leaned sideways, her gaze fixed on the pen he held so carefully.

With a hesitant motion, Azriel passed the pen to her, but before she could comment, Rhys's whistle sliced through the din of the diner.

"I take that back, this is definitely a case of pen thieving," he declared, an unusual seriousness lacing his tone that drew the eyes of the entire table.

Rhys sighed, muttering under his breath about uncultured friends, a comment cut short by Nesta's sharp look. "Azriel, that’s a Mont Blanc Pen."

"That’s what I said! A mount blank pen!" Cassian echoed, his voice filled with a mixture of awe and amusement.

Sitting up straight, a sense of urgency overtaking him, Azriel looked from one friend to another, their faces a blend of jest and genuine surprise. Rhys continued, "What that means is it’s quite an expensive pen, Az...I’m sure whoever you borrowed it from will want it back."

The words hit Azriel like a cold wave, his anxiety spiking anew. The fear that you might see him as a thief, as someone who took advantage of a moment of kindness, gnawed at him.

Azriel's mind went back to this morning, the moment of leaving the classroom flashed vividly before his eyes—your parting words, something about the pen, but all he had managed in response was a series of nods, mesmerized by your smile. The possibility that you might have asked for it back, only for him to unwittingly refuse, twisted in his gut. Did your smile mask pity, or was it simply to avoid the brief intimacy of touch?

"Oh, cauldron, I am a thief. I did steal her pen," he muttered, the realization settling in with a weight that was hard to bear. The joke had turned into a confession, the humor of the situation evaporating as the reality of his inadvertent theft dawned on him. He had to make it right, to return the pen and clear the air, hoping beyond hope that you wouldn’t think less of him for this misunderstanding.

“Oh Az, I’m sure it’s not that bad” Feyre hands it back to him, trying to provide words of comfort. “It’ll be fine as long as you see her again.”

This must have been the sixth stare Azriel received, as he shuffled in front of the large windows in the building’s hallway. He supposed he cut quite a figure, dressed entirely in black, complete with a mask and his hoodie covering his entire head. But he was here on a mission, no matter the next group of students he saw from the corner of his eye, whispering and pointing at him. He needed to keep watch and see when you would be walking up to the building. He could only think about your pen for the past 2 days, cursing whatever entity who’d assigned this calculus class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He needed to give it to you today because he wasn’t sure if he could handle the anxiety all weekend.

At first, he just wanted to leave it on your regular seat and skip class today. Maybe leaving behind a cute note with the pen, asking to treat you to coffee in return for his unintentional theft. But, then he spiraled, what if you no longer went to the seat next to him, thinking of him as some ungrateful and lying douchebag. He couldn’t just leave it there for someone else to pick up, especially after Rhys mentioned its exclusivity. He didn’t want to accidentally lose your pen and ruin all chances of ever getting to talk to you.

But as the minutes ticked by, the usual stream of students thinned…and the bell that marked the start of class echoed hollowly in the emptying hallway. You didn't appear. Confusion, then concern, wound its way through Azriel's thoughts. You didn’t appear. Confusion, then concern wound its way through Azriel’s thoughts. Had something happened? Or had you simply decided to skip class? The latter was a possibility that he simply hadn’t considered, having seen you in every class since the start of the semester last month.

With a heavy heart, Azriel made his way to class, the pen still in his possession. The seat next to him, your seat, remained empty, a silent testament to the day's ruined intentions. As the lecture on derivatives and integrals droned on, Azriel couldn't help but feel the gap next to him acutely, an empty space filled with missed connections and unspoken words.

The clatter and chatter of the diner wrapped around Azriel like a familiar blanket as he sank further into the booth, an attempt to escape the scrutiny he knew was coming. The weekly Saturday breakfast with Rhys and Cassian was usually a highlight, a chance to decompress and share laughs over greasy food. Today, however, Azriel felt the weight of his unresolved dilemma like a lead apron around his chest.

Rhys slid into the booth, arching an eyebrow as he took in Azriel's disheveled appearance. "Looks like someone hasn't slept in days," he commented, his voice laced with concern and a hint of amusement.

Azriel could only groan in response, the word "sleep" feeling foreign and elusive. Cassian's next words did nothing to improve his mood. "He's still a thief," he joked, nudging Azriel with his elbow.

Rhys's surprise was evident. "You still haven't returned the pen?" He shook his head, disbelief and curiosity mingling in his expression.

Cassian leaned back, sipping his coffee. "He hasn’t been able to find her. She skipped class."

The conversation paused as a waiter delivered their usual array of milkshakes and waffles, a temporary distraction from the topic at hand. Rhys, ever the problem solver, wasted no time in offering a solution. "I can see if I can pull some strings, and find her contact information. Or at least her email."

Silence descended upon the table, thick and heavy. Both Cassian and Rhys turned to Azriel, expecting confirmation or at least a nod of approval. Instead, they were met with a profound silence that spoke volumes. The shock on their faces was almost comical.

Rhys was the first to break the silence, disbelief coloring his tone. "Don’t tell me…"

Cassian's eyes widened. "You don’t know her name??"

"Not even her first name???" Rhys added, his voice an octave higher in astonishment.

Azriel felt a flush creep up his neck, coloring his cheeks a deep shade of red. The truth of the matter, laid bare amidst the remnants of breakfast, felt absurd even to him. He had spent the week agonizing over a pen, over missed opportunities and unspoken words, without ever knowing your name.

“But you said she’s in your compsci class?” Rhys continued

Azriel shook his head, “No, we're in multivariable calculus together. But she’s definitely new.”

At Cassian and Rhys's blank stares, Azriel elaborated, “It’s one the hardest math classes, I would have noticed her in the previous levels.”

“Wait Az, pull out the pen again.” Rhys reached his hand over.

His eyes sparkled with a hint of mischief, flicking between Azriel and the pen before he floated an invitation his way. "Why don't you take and break and join Feyre and me tonight? We're catching up with my childhood friend—the one who introduced me to Feyre. Actually, Cass, join us and bring Nesta along. We’re meeting at Rita’s as usual so Mor will be there too.

Azriel, however, wasn't so sure. "I don’t know…" he mumbled, lost in his whirlwind of thoughts, missing the significant glances Rhys shot towards Cassian.

As if on cue, Cassian's boisterous encouragement broke through his reverie. "Oh, come on, Az. It's not like the pen's going to grow legs and run off!"

And with Rhys adding, "Give us some company, won't you, Azriel? My dear friend will feel left out among the couples."

With a mix of encouragement and playful ribbing, Azriel found himself agreeing if only to escape the orbit of his own overthinking for a while.

Thus, Azriel found himself stepping into Rita's coffee shop, transformed at night into a cozy jazz club, clad in his finest casual attire. Gone was the hoodie, replaced by a crisp black shirt, his best jeans, and the leather jacket that felt like a second skin. The pen, its significance magnified beyond reason, was securely tucked inside his jacket, close to his heart.

Entering the cafe with Nesta and Cassian, who both looked effortlessly chic, Azriel couldn't help but feel a flicker of excitement beneath his apprehension. Rita’s transformed at night from a quaint coffee shop into a vibrant jazz club, complete with dance floors and hidden alcoves, a favorite haunt for their group.

Curiosity about this mysterious friend of Rhys and Feyre nibbled at the edges of his thoughts. Described by Rhys as a "childhood companion" and by Feyre with glowing terms of talent and kindness, she seemed almost too good to be true. Feyre’s stories painted her as a guardian angel of the arts, guiding Feyre through her first year with museum visits and personal tutorials in art history, a beacon of support that enabled Feyre to pursue her dreams in Fine Arts.

Azriel couldn't deny the intrigue, a part of him eager to meet the person who had inadvertently brought both his brothers' such happiness and given him such close friends.

Rita's was a place of warmth and music, where coffee aromas mingled with the sultry notes of jazz, and where the dance floor beckoned the brave. It was here, amidst the casual elegance of his friends, that Azriel hoped to find some semblance of peace.

His heart was already racing from the anticipation of the night, but nothing could have prepared him for the moment he stepped into the semi-circle of his friends and saw her.

The back of a girl, her black tweed jacket adorned with intertwining threads of red and gold, caught his immediate attention. It was a unique piece, one he recognized because it hung over the chair next to him just days ago in calculus. As if on cue, Cassian nudged him forward, breaking his trance and thrusting him into the moment he had been both dreading and longing for.

Time seemed to stretch and bend, each step toward the table feeling like a journey in itself. Then, as Rhys and Feyre stood, pulling the girl up with them, the world snapped back to its rightful pace, but not for Azriel. For him, everything continued in slow motion, the ambient noise fading into a distant buzz, drowned out by the sudden pounding of his heart.

"This is my childhood friend," Rhys began, his voice cutting through the fog in Azriel's mind.

"And my first college friend, Y/n," Feyre added, her smile bright and welcoming. “She just came back from a year abroad, so everyone welcome her well!”

Rhys continued with the introductions, but Azriel heard none of it. His gaze locked with Y/n's, and in that moment, everything else fell away. Her eyes, a captivating mix of curiosity and warmth, seemed to hold him in place, rendering him utterly speechless.

"Oh hi, Azriel!" Y/n's voice, clear and cheerful, attempted to bridge the gap between them. But Azriel remained frozen, caught in the storm of his own emotions, unable to muster even the simplest of greetings.

Then, the silence was shattered by Cassian's laughter. "Sorry about that, Azriel is just too shy, isn't that right?" he joked, clapping Azriel on the back hard enough to jostle him from his stupor. With a friendly push, Cassian maneuvered him into the booth next to Y/n before sliding in next to Rhys and Nesta.

As Feyre drew Y/n back into the conversation, wanting to connect her with Nesta over their love for books, Azriel couldn't shake the feeling of the pen in his pocket. It was as if the object, a simple tool for writing, had become a symbol of all his unspoken words, his hidden desires, and his fear of reaching out. It burned against his thigh, a constant reminder of the words he had yet to say.

As the night wore on, and their friends' laughter filled the air, Azriel found his eyes constantly drifting to Y/n’s, wanting to capture every smile, every glance, every subtle expression that danced across her features. The ambient light of the club, dim and forgiving, cast a warm glow on her face, highlighting the contours and the genuine joy that seemed to radiate from her.

When the girls got up to join the dance floor, a tidal wave of reality crashed over Azriel. Rhys and Cassian's sudden attention, their probing questions about his unusual quietness, felt like spotlights on a stage he wasn't prepared to stand on. "I'm just tired," he managed to say, the words feeling like sandpaper against his throat. "And a bit worried, you know." But his attempt to deflect only invited more scrutiny.

Rhys immediately saw through the facade. "She's the girl, isn't she? That's why she said your name before I introduced you." At Azriel's silence, Rhys elaborated further, “She’s also the one I assumed was the owner of that pen, Y/n has an entire collection of Mont Blanc, and she fits into your description, being technically new as she just returned from abroad.

Azriel’s flush, heavy and telling, confirmed his friends' suspicions without a single word spoken.

“Then this the perfect moment!” Cassian continued. “When she comes back, give the pen and ask to buy her a drink as an apology for the delay”

Rhys perked up as well, hitting Azriel on the shoulder, “Cass is right! I know Y/n, and she’s not one to hold a grudge, especially if you apologize. In fact, get her a tequila daisy, she loves those.”

At his friend’s encouragement, Azriel felt his spirits being lifted. He could do this, he thought, the Mother blessing him with such good luck that he found the girl he was looking today. He should take this as a sign, telling him that this was his time to have courage. As Cass and Rhys shooed him up, spotting the girls returning, Azriel shot back his drink and stood up. With a slightly steadier step, he decided to take a little detour back to their table, positioning himself so he'd see Y/n first. It was a small thing, but it gave him a moment to steel himself, to prepare for her smile, her presence. "Alright, let's do this," he thought, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement.

As Azriel navigated his way back to the table, a sudden wave of nervousness washed over him. The confidence he had just moments ago seemed to evaporate with each step he took. By the time he was close, he found himself unable to meet the gaze of his friends or even Y/n, his eyes fixed firmly on the floor, a beacon of his newfound apprehension.

He made a beeline for the chair adorned with the distinctive tweed jacket, so caught up in his thoughts that he completely missed Cassian's worried glance. With a heart racing and a mind swirling with rehearsed apologies, Azriel reached out to tap the shoulder of the person he assumed was Y/n, all the while starting his practiced spiel. "Hey, I just wanted to give you this, I--uh--I'm so sorry couldn't before--let me buy you a drink to make it up—"

His words faltered, dying in his throat as he finally mustered the courage to look up, only to find Elain's familiar face smiling back at him. The confusion was immediate, his brain struggling to catch up with the reality in front of him as Elain, seizing the pen from his grasp, chimed, "Oh, Az, my birthday's still a week away...but thank you so much!" The affectionate kiss she planted on his cheek was meant to be a sweet gesture, yet it only served to heighten Azriel's horror as he watched her examine the pen.

“Oh, that’s so preetty Elain! Mor stumbled by, the alcohol clearly catching up to her by now. “But, why do you have a pen right now? Don’t work, come dance with us! She said laughing, grabbing Cassian on her way back.

Azriel, now left alone with a blushing Elain, had no idea how this happened. One moment he thought he’d finally get to confess to Y/n and the next moment, he’s given perhaps her prized possession, which she lent him, to another girl. It turned out that he was incorrect before, it's clear that the Mother brought up the worst luck he could have.

He needed to fix this.

Now.

And tell Elain that he did have something for her birthday…just not that. Yes, it had to break it to her now.

“I know you said you’d be busy and couldn’t make it to my birthday, but you didn’t have to get me something, Az! This is just my color though…”

Azriel stood there, his mind racing with a mix of panic and disbelief. How had he managed to entangle himself in such an awkward situation? The irony of it all was that he had known about Elain's soft spot for him, a sentiment that had grown perhaps from the time he had escorted her back from class to keep her away from her troublesome ex.

He had considered the possibility of returning her feelings, had even tried to envision something more between them, but his heart never quite made the leap. Elain was wonderful, truly, but the spark he was supposed to feel just wasn't there. And deep down, he knew she deserved someone who could put her at the center of their world, something Azriel couldn't do.

Before he could get a word out, the din of laughter and chatter signaled the return of Rhys and Feyre, their expressions shifting from amusement to confusion as they noticed Elain holding the pen.

Azriel's eyes pleaded for help, a silent, desperate appeal that Feyre caught instantly. She stepped in, her words a flurry of explanations aimed at untangling the misunderstanding. But the situation took another turn with the arrival of Y/n and Nesta, their approach cutting Feyre's explanations short. In a panic, Feyre grabbed Elain's arm, insisting it was late and they needed to leave, effectively dodging the impending awkwardness but leaving the air charged with unsaid words.

Y/n and Nesta returned to find the table enveloped in an unexpected gloom, Rhys and Azriel's expressions painted with unmistakable dismay. The contrast to their earlier mirth sparked immediate curiosity.

"Where did Feyre run off to?" Nesta inquired, her words slicing through the heavy air just as Y/n, with a mixture of concern and confusion, reached out to Rhys. Her fingers brushed his forehead gently, a silent question in her touch. "Are you sick, why do you look so pale?"

Azriel hated the jealousy that sprung up at her actions, especially after what he had done. He immediately chastised himself for the feeling, fully aware that the concern shown was purely platonic. Yet, he couldn't help but long for a similar connection, a moment of care directed towards him, especially from Y/n.

Nesta couldn't resist a teasing jab, her observation laced with humor yet not entirely devoid of truth. "Lovesick more like it," she scoffed, her comment hanging between them like a challenge, prompting a momentary flicker of amusement to dance across Rhys's otherwise somber features.

Nesta’s words, though teasing, unwittingly mirrored the turmoil swirling within Azriel, a turmoil stemming from his unvoiced feelings for Y/n.

Amid the group's subdued atmosphere, Y/n took the initiative, her concern for her friends sparking into action as she decided to fetch water and some food for the table. Once she was out of earshot, Rhys leaned in, his voice low, "Remember when I said she's very forgiving? Well, Y/n is a bit possessive over letting others use her things." Azriel paled considerably.

Upon returning, Y/n placed the food down with a gentle smile, announcing, "I'll find Mor to say goodbye before I have to leave."

Nesta's questioning gaze prompted Y/n to share a bit more about her plans, revealing her Sunday brunch with her father. It was a tradition, yet one that held mixed feelings for her. Rhys, catching the underlying sentiment, ventured cautiously, "First time since you're back...any welcome presents?"

Y/n's nod was accompanied by an eye roll, her voice tinged with a mix of amusement and resignation. "He'll probably gift me a pen, as always." Then, leaning closer to Rhys, she confided in a whisper, "He still thinks I don't know his assistant keeps buying them." Their shared laughter, though tinged with sadness, was a brief respite from the tension of the evening.

As Y/n waved goodbye and made her way through the diner, the weight of what had transpired settled heavily on Azriel's shoulders. Rhys’s earlier statement now mixed with what he had just heard father gets me a pen…hates sharing…

The pen he had intended to return to Y/n, now in Elain's possession, wasn't just any pen; it was akin to a token of her father's affection…

He was so, so doomed.

If Azriel thought he was mortified before, well, it couldn’t be compared to now. His current stakeout, crouched in the dense foliage outside Elain and Nesta’s apartment, felt like a scene straight out of a spy movie—only infinitely less glamorous and with higher stakes.

After searching the entire night for the pen, he realized that you really were Rhys’s friend, the resell prices he found made him want to throw his computer out. But even if he could afford it or request Rhys for help, it seemed that the version you had was sold out. He didn’t even know they made limited-edition pens, let alone ones of this price, were they made of gold? he thought pulling up the product description….set with a pearl…Oh.

Well, that led to his current predicament, knee-deep in the bushes outside Elain and Nesta’s shared apartment. Given that he had borrowed Nesta’s key, which was carelessly strewn on the table of his and Cass’s apartment, he knew she wouldn’t be back for a while. The problem now was getting Elain and it seemed Feyre out…which was why he had texted Rhys an SOS.

As he waited, hoping that no one noticed him acting like an absolute creep, he finally saw Feyre pulling Elain out, something about a project with Lucien?

Whatever, that wasn’t important now. His phone buzzed in his pocket with an aggravated all-clear from Rhys. He knew he owed him and Feyre a lot…and technically Elain and Nesta too. The plan was simple: get in, find the pen, get out.

He had been to their apartment before, but always with the company of someone else, usually Cass when he went to pick up or drop off things for Nesta. It felt…eerie being here alone, and he tried to ignore how much of a creep he felt looking through their things. Yet, despite his efforts, the pen remained elusive, a realization that sent a wave of panic crashing over him.

Mother above, where would one keep a pen?? He checked the various surfaces in all the rooms, he checked Elain’s desk, her vanity, and even her bedside table….he looked at the bathroom counters and even scanned through Nesta’s room. As he debated how many more boundaries he’d cross by opening the drawers, his phone buzzed again, with a text from Rhys, feyre said it's with her *crying face emoji* *crying face emoji*...

It’s with her…it’s still with Elain?! The words echoed in his mind, a mantra of frustration and defeat.

Needing to escape the claustrophobia of his failure, Azriel abandoned his search, the apartment, and any pretense of dignity he had left. He found himself wandering aimlessly, feet leading him through the city's streets with no destination in mind. Hours passed, his thoughts a tangled mess, until the financial center's impersonal skyscrapers towered over him, indifferent to his turmoil.

It was there, amidst the steel and concrete, that a familiar voice pierced through his haze of self-reproach. "Azriel?" Y/n called out, her presence like a beacon in the dimming light.

She emerged from a store, the elegance of her white lace blouse and black slacks contrasted sharply by the vivid red purse she carried. It was the bag she swung from behind, adorned with the same white flower symbol as the pen, that captured his attention, a silent testament to the reason for his current state.

Azriel was at a loss for words, his surprise at seeing her mirrored in the way she regarded him. “I’m surprised to see you here, what are you doing?”

Caught off guard and scrambling for an explanation, Azriel mumbled something about needing a walk, a half-hearted attempt to mask his real reasons for being there.

Y/n's gaze held his, a hint of curiosity mixed with understanding flickering in her eyes. "A walk that led you all the way here?" she asked, her voice soft but pointed.

Azriel felt the inadequacy of his answer hang between them, an invisible barrier he wished he could dissolve. "Yeah, it's been one of those days," he admitted, his voice trailing off, the truth of his statement more profound than he cared to explore.

Y/n studied him for a moment, her intuitive eyes reading the layers of unsaid words. Then, breaking the tension with a smile that seemed to light up the dimming city around them, she said, "Well, in that case, I could use a bit of company. I was about to grab some coffee. Join me?"

Azriel hesitated, the weight of his earlier mission pressing down on him. Yet, there was something about Y/n's offer, an earnest simplicity, that cut through his reservations. "I...yeah, coffee sounds good," he finally said, not surprised at his own eagerness.

Seated in the cozy enclave of the coffee shop, with bookshelves brimming with tales and plants that whispered of care, Azriel found himself enveloped in a warmth that the stark lines of the financial district rarely offered. The glow of the setting sun, filtered through the tall windows, bathed Y/n in a soft light, casting her in an almost ethereal aura. Her laughter, light and easy, filled the space between them as she caught his look of pleasant surprise.

"This place isn't quite the corporate café you were expecting, is it?" Y/n teased, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

Azriel chuckled, nodding. "I was expecting somewhere... more stiff. This is a nice surprise."

Leaning in, Y/n shared her secret with a whisper, "This café is my little escape. Not many know about it here. But trust me, the coffee’s unmatched, and you have to try the food."

As Azriel began to protest, not wanting her to treat him to even more, his stomach betrayed him with a timely growl. Y/n’s laughter rang out again, full and genuine, just as an older lady approached with their order. "Here you go, dear," she said to Y/n, then turned to Azriel with a warm smile. "First time I've seen her bring someone. You take good care of her, okay?"

Y/n’s protest that they were just friends, and really just classmates, did little to deter the lady's knowing look, leaving her a flustered shade of pink as the lady departed. Y/n then explained to a bewildered Azriel about the café's significance to her, a place discovered during times she'd rather forget waiting in her father's stark office, with the building being down the street.

As they shared the meal—Y/n insisting Azriel try her favorite sandwich and a tart chosen especially for him—Azriel marveled at her attention to detail, at the fact that she'd noticed his fondness for blueberries. "How did you know?" he asked, his heart aflutter at the realization that she paid him such mind.

With a shy glance away and then back, Y/n admitted, "I noticed you always carrying around blueberry bars. It's the little things, you know?"

Azriel, moved by her attentiveness and kindness, found himself unworthy of her attention. How could he let her remain ignorant about his transgressions, and watch her smile and laugh with him? But he also couldn’t bear to let her go, not when she made him feel things he thought he’d never be able to. Azriel decided then and there that he would admit his faults and then he would beg, he would plead for her to forgive him, or at least continue to talk to him, after he returned the pen from Elain. And if she refused, then he would accept it, but he would grovel as much as she allowed, if only to not lose the smiles that she sent his way.

"I... I don't deserve your kindness," he confessed, his voice a whisper of turmoil. "Because I'm a thief."

Y/n's eyes widened, confusion and concern mingling in her gaze, "A thief?" she echoed, her head tilting slightly, inviting him to explain.

Azriel's words tumbled out in a frantic cascade, a confession spilling forth about the pen, his failed attempts to return it, not knowing her name and the catastrophic mix-up at Rita's that saw Elain inadvertently receiving what he thought was Y/n's treasured possession. "I know it was a gift from your father... I'll get it back," he assured her, his heart sinking as he prepared for her to walk away, to maybe throw the coffee in his face, for the soft warmth of her smiles to vanish.

But instead of anger or disappointment, laughter bubbled up from Y/n, rich and unrestrained. Azriel lifted his gaze, bewildered, only to find her smiling, her eyes crinkling at the corners in genuine amusement. It was a moment Azriel wished he could freeze and live in forever, were it not for the fear of her next words.

From that dreaded black bag, she produced a sleek box, emblazoned with Mont Blanc, and Azriel's heart sank. This was it, the moment of reckoning. He half-expected her to reveal a price tag that would make his eyes water, a reminder of his foolishness. Instead, Y/n unveiled a pen, its body a dance of blue and white lacquer, sparkling with what he could only guess were jewels.

Y/n shared a piece of her past with him then, her voice soft and nostalgic. She spoke of her younger self, who found more joy in the worlds of books and art than in the dry texts of study.

"I used to collect colored pens, fancy ones that made writing notes less of a chore," she explained, gentle laughter threading through her words. She revealed how her love for calligraphy had blossomed from there, a passion she had hoped would catch her parents' attention.

The story took a turn Azriel hadn't expected. "For every achievement, every missed event, every return home, I got a pen. I thought it was my father remembering my words, but," she chuckled, shaking the elegant pen in her hand, "it turns out it was his assistant who remembered. My father doesn't even use fountain pens."

She waved the decorative pen with a flourish, proclaiming it beautiful but utterly impractical. "They're more for show than anything else, the nibs aren’t even correct for the type of stylized calligraphy I enjoy. I still keep them, just locked in a drawer at my apartment. But for everyday use, I stick to the rollerballs from Mont Blanc. They're just easier."

Y/n paused, eyeing him with a playful curiosity. "The pen was pink, wasn't it?" At Azriel's nod, she continued, "I swapped that one with a friend. Not really my color, but she wanted to exchange it for a white version that wasn’t available abroad.”

Azriel nods, still caught in the whirlwind of his own confessions and fears.

She shrugs lightly, her gaze drifting down to the black box, "Mont Blanc treats me too well and sends me many extras because I’m on their VIP list due to my father’s assistant. I don’t mind, though. It’s nice to know they’re going to someone who appreciates them."

Azriel's mind races as he tries to process this. The pen, the source of so much turmoil, was just one of many to Y/n, an item of little consequence. Yet, feeling a sense of responsibility, he insists, "I’ll get it back for you. It was yours, after all."

Y/n's response is a gentle wave of dismissal. "You don’t need to worry about it, Azriel. You didn’t steal it. I told you to return it whenever you wanted. I just...hoped it would make you think of me." Her voice fades, a note of melancholy creeping in as she turns her face away slightly, hiding the vulnerability in her eyes. "I guess you didn’t, though. Do I bother you, sitting next to you in class?"

The earnestness in her question, the raw hint of insecurity, pierces through Azriel's defenses. He reacts instinctively, his words tumbling out in a rush to bridge the gap his silence had created.

"Bother me? Y/n, you’ve been...I’ve been trying to find the words to talk to you since you first sat next to me. You don’t bother me; you distract me because...because I think you’re beautiful."

The confession hangs in the air between them, a fragile truth that sends a blush creeping up Y/n's cheeks. Azriel's heart pounds in his chest, his earnest declaration laying bare his feelings.

"So, friends?" Y/n ventures after a moment, her voice steady but her eyes searching his for an answer.

"Friends," Azriel agrees quickly, too quickly, perhaps, because what he really wants to say is so much more. "But, I'm hoping for more than that," he added under his breath, a vow to himself as much as to her.

Y/n's smile in response is shy but hopeful, a silent agreement to the unspoken question hanging between them. In the quiet of the café, amidst the scattered pens and the remnants of their past misunderstandings, they find a new beginning.

A/N: The pen Y/n received above! So, I have no idea where this story was meant to go. I just had the idea to write about Azriel doing something silly because he was so distracted by a crush, which became him unintentionally stealing a pen. After all, I have an obsession with pens due to the same reason Y/n said...And then this spiraled a little too much into my own uhh grievances with pens, calligraphy…and uhh parents. ANYWAYS, I hope this made you all laugh and fyi Mont Blanc does make great pens, I highly recommend their roller balls and fountain pens, though some are so extravagant I can’t imagine ever using them.

#azriel au #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel x y/n #acotar series #acotar #acomaf #acowar #azriel x oc #rhysand #morrigan #acotar fanfiction #azriel acotar #acotar modern au #silly aus #i rushed the ending #should i continue Azriel's silly antics?

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why-animals-do-the-thing · 2 years

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Do you know why dogs do that little exhausted sigh when they lie down even when they haven't really done anything that particular day?

I, too, make exhausted little sighs when I flop down and am suddenly extremely comfy!

But, okay, here's what super interesting. I didn't want to just give you a flippant answer, so I started looking up if sighing is a behavior in other species than humans. Because it's always worth keeping an eye out for accidental anthropomorphism. Turns out? The science on sighing is fascinating. Stay tuned for intense nerding out, and maybe a bit more of an answer.

First off, we gotta know what a sigh is.

"The sigh is a deep augmented breath with distinct neurobiological, physiological, and psychological properties that distinguish it from a normal eupneic breath. Sighs are typically triggered by a normal eupneic breath and are followed by a respiratory pause, which is referred to as 'postsigh apnea.'"

In non-jargon, that definition means sighs are a deep breath with a different pattern to it than normal, easy, regular breathing. "Augmented breaths" are frequently used as a synonym for "sighs", and the best definition I found is that "they comprise prolonged inspiration and increased tidal volume followed by a respiratory pause and several seconds of faster breathing. So a longer than normal inhale where you take in more air than normal, then an exhale, and then pause before breathing in again. Oh hey, look, I found a graph!

The graph is super well labeled, but just to be clear: each cycle of the red line is a normal breath, where what's being tracked is the movement of the chest wall. The part where the vertical blue bar is, that's the cycle with a sigh. The red line spikes really high (during inspiration, or breathing in) at that blue patch, and for longer than the normal period of a breath. See how it's almost like two inhales on top of each other - a normal slope and then another upward spike? That's the "augmentation" of the normal breath, almost a double inhale without breathing out in-between. Then, after the red line drops (on the exhale) there's a flat bit. That's the respiratory pause, which the period after the sigh where you wait before you inhale again.

Apparently people have been tracking sighing scientific for like, over 100 years. The first record of it in academic literature was in 1919. And we know some really cool stuff. All humans sigh spontaneously. Even babies sigh! They do it every few minutes, whereas it's less frequent but still pretty regular in adults: one study found about once every five minutes, or twelve sighs an hour.

Okay, but why do we sigh? We only sort of know, because there's a bunch of different things that have to be studied to answer that question. The direct physiological aspect of it is the most well known at this point. You've got lots of little sacs lining your lungs, called alveoli, that facilitate gas transfer from the air you breathe into your blood. They make sure oxygen goes in and carbon dioxide gets breathed out. But sometimes they collapse and deflate, which prevents them from doing their job. When you do a big sigh, the air quantity in your lungs ends up being double that of normal, which inflates them again. So sighing is a way of doing lung maintenance, in a sense.

But there's so much more going on when you sigh than just that! This is the stuff researchers are still working on. They've got some pretty solid conclusions to start, but they're very emphatic that there's a ton more to learn.

Basically, the main hypothesis right now is that sighing functions as a "reset" for your internal state when it's out of balance. People sigh more when they're acutely anxious or stressed, are anticipating a negative outcome like a shock or seeing a negative image, or have chronic anxiety, PTSD, or panic disorders. Higher sigh frequency is also associated with pain: people with chronic low back pain sigh more, and how much they do correlates with how high their pain rating is at the time!

Another aspect of sighing is that it's frequently associated with periods of relief. Studies have noted that people sigh when they're able to relax following tension, like if they're interrupted while trying to do something really mentally taxing, when they finish a task that took a lot of attention for a long time, or if a negative stimulus stops/goes away. The reason behind that is actually thought to be why people sigh so much when they're upset or in pain: sighing doesn't just signal relief, but actually cause it! Some studies have found that people experience a temporary reduction in muscle tension right after a spontaneous sigh. (Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to also happen when you sigh on purpose.)

Sighing is also thought to facilitate behavioral and emotional transitions. The frequency at which someone sighs changes even just when they transition from sitting to lying down. People frequently sigh right before they fall asleep or start to wake up. One study found that people sigh more frequently when they go from a situation of being unable to anticipate what's next to a situation where they know what the outcome will be - regardless of if that outcome is going to be negative or positive! That led the researchers to hypothesize that sighing functions as an emotional reset from states of high internal arousal (a word which here means "the state of feeling awake, activated, and highly reactive to stimuli.") So sighing might not just bring relief when something really intense ends, but it might also help people prepare for upcoming stress.

Basically, researchers think that sighing may contribute to what they call "psychophysiological flexibility." That means that sighing helps keep someone in a physiological and emotional state that matches the situation they're in, and helps the body and mind adapt quickly when something changes. They noted that these types of transitions may involve "anticipatory, activation or recovery responses." In other words: they think spontaneous sighing is relevant not only when you're worried about encountering a leopard in the bush, but when you have to hide from the leopard you tripped over, and then also when you're calming down after the leopard got bored and left.

There's a whole bunch of research left to do about how exactly spontaneous sighs do what they do, but there's also a whole other aspect of the behavior that hasn't really been studied yet: their social function! In humans audible sighing is a salient social signal. (The researchers said the part of the paper addressing this that it is a "lay belief" that sighs have a "communicative function to convey emotions," which makes the whole thing feel like it was written by aliens observing humans from afar). But they did note that sighs for social communications may be totally different from other types of sighs, since the exhalation is often very exaggerated and doesn't always occur in tandem with that "augmented" inhale pattern that spontaneous sighs have.

Okay. So. I've been a nerd forever, but what about doggo sighs? Why do they occur? Obviously, the research doesn't give us a direct answer. The majority of the behavioral / situational research on sighing has been done on people, not animals. But it's pretty well documented lots of animals sigh (it might even be all mammals, I just don't have a citation for that). And some of the studies that have been done on animals indicated that they, too, sigh in relief when negative situations end or unpleasant stimuli go away.

Let's go back to my joke at the beginning of this book I've written. My first instinct was to be like "who doesn't sigh in relaxation when they finally get a chance to rest their bones?" That totally matches what's in the research: getting a chance to rest after activity is often both a behavioral transition and an emotional one, and if there's any physical discomfort being experienced, physical rest is often is a relief.

It seems fairly probable that dogs sigh when they lay down for at least one of those reasons. I can't prove that hypothesis, but it tracks with what the science says so far. The situation you described meets the main identified criteria for sighing: there's the physical transition of laying down, the behavioral/emotional transition of being ready for a period of low/no activity, and the possible relief of pain or discomfort that comes with laying down. We don't have any any evidence (that I was able to find) of species that sigh for other reasons, or sigh in situations that don't meet those criteria. We don't know for sure that this is accurate - this isn't fact, simply my educated guess. But since sighing seems to help muscles relax and relief discomfort, it seems reasonable to me that a good old sigh after the relief of laying down would make the transition to a resting state feel even better.

Sources:

Effects of the hippocampus on the motor expression of augmented breaths

Brainstem activity, apnea, and death during seizures induced by intrahippocampal kainic acid in anaesthetized rats

The Integrative Role of the Sigh in Psychology, Physiology, Pathology, and Neurobiology

Sigh rate during emotional transitions: More evidence for a sigh of relief

The psychophysiology of the sigh: I: The sigh from the physiological perspective

The psychophysiology of the sigh: II: The sigh from the psychological perspective

Affect Arousal

UCLA and Stanford researchers pinpoint origin of sighing reflex in the brain

#science!#dog behavior #sighing #sighs #I want to emphasize this is a hypothesis based on the existing body of research and that I am not an expert in this field #there are times where it is reasonable to look at the existing literature and create theories based on a synthesis of their findings #but this is not something to repeat as known fact #and that differentiation is extremely important in this sort of forum

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waterlilydrops · 2 days

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Archive

It’s part 2 of THIS :)

pairing: Lewis Hamilton x fem!reader

summary: your new sex routine with Lewis: having sex while watching your sex tapes.

word count: 2k

warning: 18+ only, nsfw, explicit sex content, sex tapes, oral sex(m received), P in V sex, dirty talk, slightly Dom/Sub, spanking, praise kink. If you feel uncomfortable, please exit promptly.

note: Italicized text represents the content and dialogue from the video. That idea was sparked by an anon, thank you! As always, welcome any advice or suggestions.

“Baby, which one should we watch today?”Lewis took out the videotapes and placed them on the cabinet, looking at the marker-penned labels as he asked, “The Christmas one? Or the one I made you cum with my fingers?”

You lightly tapped his shoulder. “Hey, that wasn’t just about me.”

He gazed at you intently, black eyes filled with earnestness, “But you looked especially beautiful when you cum.” As if to say tonight’s dinner was particularly good.

That time was really intense. What happened again? Oh, you think it was because you both had a bit to drink. Does alcohol-free tequila also make people drunk? Once in a tipsy mood, after a few kisses, desire surged like a tidal wave.

Lewis turned off all the indoor lights, leaving only a floor lamp on.

“Hey, today was dd/mm/yy.” In the scene, a gentle flush colored your cheekbones, and your eyes sparkled with a radiant smile.

Ah, how did we get into that state? Did we have a few drinks then?

“Here is... Lewis.” The next second, like a beacon of charisma, Lewis’s face emerged in the frame, his beautiful brown skin radiant under the lights.

The video suddenly paused.

“What’s wrong?” You turned to look at him.

“Can we have a competition?” Okay, his desire to win extended beyond the race track.

“What are we competing in?”

“Whoever initiates the kiss first loses.”

As the video resumed, his arms wrapped around your middle as he hugged you tightly into his chest, and one of his hands slid down between your legs.

“Take your clothes off, Lewis.”

Were you always this direct when you were tipsy?

Sure enough, the next moment his palm rested on your mound. But surprisingly, he just left it there, without making any further moves.

In the video, the two of you had already started stripping each other’s clothes off. The camera was placed on the bedside table. With rustling sounds, you hastily removed your clothes, letting them fall to the floor, and without a pause, you began kissing passionately.

As the camera zoomed in on the intense kiss between you and Lewis, you shifted in your seat, feeling your tongue moistening your lips in anticipation. Your inner thighs brushed against his wrist, nestled between them, and you sensed a delicious dampness beginning to seep through your panties.

You couldn’t get wet that soon. Otherwise, it would seem too eager.

You stole a glance at Lewis’s profile beside you. the contours of his strong nose and the hint of a well-groomed beard were illuminated softly by the ambient light. He was completely absorbed in watching.

The sound of kissing in the video was accompanied by a soft, wet noise.

Damn, regretting it now. Why did you make it a competition? He should be kissing you right now. You really want it, your whole body is tense, wanting to be devoured by him.

Your eyes stared fixedly at the video, how could Lewis be so whole-heartedly in just a kiss?

You were pulled closer by Lewis, his hand on your neck, while his other arm wrapped around your waist, kneading your butt.

The hand between your thighs finally reacted a bit, pressing down on your mound at an extremely slow pace. You squeezed his hand between your legs, grinding against his hips while reaching out to touch his chest. Your palm, through his T-shirt, gripped tightly, eliciting a soft moan.

The camera zoomed in, revealing his abs tensing and relaxing. Your throat involuntarily swallowed drools as your hand slid down from Lewis's chest to his thighs.

With a few swift movements, his underwear was pulled down, and his semi-erect cock sprang out. Your smaller hand grasped it the next second, stroking it gently up and down.

“The way you get hard is so sexy...”

“well,” his strong arm appeared in the frame, probably caressing your face from the angle, “but you, baby, are even sexier.”

A rush of heat surged through your body. His low laughter, filtered through the speakers, only made it itchier, so you discreetly rubbed against the bedsheet, your hand slipping into Lewis‘s waistband. After a few strokes through his underwear, you couldn’t resist anymore.

That weighty thing was too enticing, and you wanted to feel it now.

You relenting and tugging his boxers down. Your mouth waters as his hard cock springs free, slapping against his navel with a lewd sound. You don’t hesitate to wrap your hand around the base, angling his pretty length towards your mouth.

No kissing. that’s mean I can kiss his cock?

You lean your head down, suck just the tip into your mouth, swirling your tongue over his sensitive head. satisfied, and deliberately squinting your eyes as you looked up at Lewis.

“you’re breaking the rules...”

“Rules—” You slowly opened your mouth, allowing the head of his cock to slide into your mouth, and let your tongue swirl around it. “are meant to be broke, right?”

As you finished speaking, you performed several deepthroats, emitting soft moans as your lips hugged the base of the penis, causing Lewis to gasp urgently. You were quite satisfied with the current situation, able to both suck his cock and escape the video, at least for a while.

“You like that, don’t you?”You asked in a muffled voice because your mouth was occupied.

“Didn’t your family teach you not to talk with your mouth full?” Lewis shot back in a cross between an annoyed and sexy tone.

All Lewis received for his effort was you caressing his sacks, and the gentle touch of you cheek against his throbbing member made Lewis clench his fists as he growled.

You raised your eyelids, meeting Lewis’s gaze. The non-kissing contest came to an immediate end.

You were pulled up by the arm and your mouth was covered, Lewis devouring your lips as if starving for days.

There we go. That’s more like it.

“You lost.”

“Yeah, what reward do you want?”

“Spank me.”

The eighth.

You inhaled deeply, silently counting in your mind.

Kneeling on the bed, your buttocks raised high. The only downside is that with a slight lift of your head, you could see the tangled couple on the screen (Currently, you were making loud noises because you were being fingered). Lewis deliberately positioned you facing the screen. Your ears were filled with your own moans and gasps. You momentarily buried your head in your arms in an attempt to escape. Both cheeks were burning with heat, but there was a subtle sense of satisfaction in your heart. Lewis indeed fulfilled his promise, delivering firm strikes with gusto, not holding back at all.

“Feel good?”Lewis laid you back, your head dipping between the pillows.

He was quick to get you out of your panties, he was quick to press his cock to your twitching clit. A steady hand dragged his cock up and down your folds, the cock catching on your bud each time.

“Sir…” You whined, you needed his fat cock so bad. You needed to be plugged up before you sprang a leak. when your drippy cunt squelched, the slick, gushy sounds went straight to his cock as it jumped.

Up and down, up and down. Lewis guided his cock over your clit, and past your fleshy folds, teasing your needy hole by stretching you out with just the tip. Then he pulled out. When he finally fucking pushed into your warmth, you squeezed him tight, he sank in till all of him was wrapped up in your cunt.

The momentarily neglected video suddenly emitted the moans of you two. You reflexively raised your eyes to see Lewis fully inserting his shaft into your pussy.

“It’s all in.”

The feeling of the cock entering you made you toss your head back and moan, bit your lip and didn’t breath as Lewis inched deeper.

“Mmm...You’re so big, ahh, I like it.”

“You were so honest about it... Is alcohol really that magical?” Lewis teased as slowly pulled his dick out and then pushed it back in making your wet pussy sputter out the sound you both loved hearing so much.

Fuck... Is it because of doggy style? Lewis were particularly vigorous today, thrusting exceptionally deep.

“Ahhhh! O-Ohh god!” Your eyes rolled back when Lewis’s hand held onto your waist as he moved inside you in a fast and rough pace as his other hand pulled your hair making you arch your back making him hit a really good spot.

You felt him slightly pull his cock out before ramming back inside making you moan out loud because of the sudden pleasure, his shaft reached so deep because of a one deep thrust.

During sex, Lewis was very good at praising. Or rather, he was someone who frequently gave compliments even in everyday situations, but during sex, he was more straightforward with his praise, saying exactly what he felt. Even in the current video, his compliments were non-stop—

“Your pussy is so good…”

“You’re so delicious babe... I could fuck you all day…”

“Look at you, my beautiful gooey slit…”

These deep, seductive whispers, like the voice of a god of desire, swirled around in your mind, turning your rationality into chaos... There’s no need to even look at the video; just the sound alone was enough to intoxicate you. You closed your eyes drowsily, involuntarily matching Lewis’s pelvic thrusts, chasing after pleasure, indulging in the sensation...

“You’re silent today, huh?” Lewis bit down on your neck, leaving it all puffy. His pace slowed, focusing on giving it to you slow and deep, circling his hips so you felt every inch of him. The slow, sticky grind made a wet noise.

Your legs were now shaking as you were already nearing your climax. You tightly gripped the sheets.

“Ohh! D-Don’t hit me there t-too much!”You exclaimed as he continuously hit your favorite spot. He leaned on your back and grabbed your chin making you tilt your head to his direction. His big hand grabbed your tits as he pinched your nipple.

“You’re making me cum, little slut.” Lewis whispered and his thrusts became sloppier, you held onto his thighs, burying your nails in them. “A-Ahh! P-Please! Please! Ohh god!”

"Please what baby?" He teased.

“P-Please let me cum… Let me cum sir—ahh!” You loudly moaned when he moved inside you ruthlessly as his other hand found its way to your clit.

“Then cum. Cum with me.” Lewis sucked on your neck while thrusting as deep and quickly as he could to bring himself to an orgasm. His grunts of power echoed through the room and mix with yours. As you were fucked to an earth shattering climax, he erupted inside of you.

“Y/N, open your eyes.”

Your eyes barely opened, and you saw yourself on the video squirting gently, your legs convulsed spasmodically, your pussy continued dripping.

Your ass was still red, Lewis spread you open to see how your cunt gaped, empty without his fat cock, his seed dribbled out as your pussy contracted, spilling down your ass crack.

As your breathing gradually calmed, the room became quiet.

“Can I film your little hole?”

Both of you instantly turned towards the only source of sound in the room. On the video was an obviously just-squirted you.

The camera shook for a moment, and Lewis’s voice came through again:

“Oh, it’s twitching...”

You weakly emitted a groan. The camera shook again, and your ass and thighs appeared in the frame. Lewis’s fingers, coated with cum, entered the frame, gently stroking the entrance a few times before spreading it open with two fingers, aiming the camera there.

You leaned into Lewis’s embrace, burying your head in his neck, refusing to look. Meanwhile, the voice on the video, now synced with him nibbling your earlobe, said:

“I really love you. I love you the most.”

The video ended there. Lewis gently kissed the top of your head, his hand smoothing over your back. From his neck, a muffled voice emerged:

“I love you too.”

“Yeah, that’s it, the boys are gonna lose their minds.”

“Suck on it, good girl…”

“Ahhh, you are so hot, looking up at me like that, choking on my cock…”

“Ohh, when the boys see this, they are going to get rock hard…”

“Do you like that? my friends watching a video of you sucking me?”

#lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton smut #lewis hamilton x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 smut #lewis hamilton imagine

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phoenix-fell · 1 year

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Anti-Bumbleby criticisms answered with BB analysis - Big post

As expected, as Bumbleby gets more attention from the show, the anti-BB crowd have surfed in on their tidal wave of bitter lemons. So, I’d like to put my degree, job and training to use and compile my thoughts down in one place - a one-stop shop if you will - it’s long and will be largely unfiltered as I tackle the weirdest and most common criticisms and BB analysis. (I kinda miss Bumbleby analysis Megaposts, I might make one sometime to go alongside this as a point of reference as most I’ve seen end around Vol 6).

TIA for anyone who actually takes the time to read my ramblings and please feel free to give your thoughts/analysis and I’ll edit it in. FIRST EDIT - 8th Mar 2023 presenting labels and sexuality in Remnant - 4th from end.

Credentials: Double major 1st class grad in Literature and Creative Writing, specialising in fairy tales and WLW representation in media. Recipient of dissertation award exploring character psyche and the presentation of psychological themes. Literary critic, writer and content specialist.

Let’s start off with a cracker from Reddit!

“Why couldn’t the BB scenes be more of a background thing? Why do they need to focus on them like they’re a main plot or something?”

Is... Is it stuffy under all that homophobia? I could easily rhyme off a string of sarcastic quips like ‘gee, I wonder why, it’s almost like it’s important to the development of two of the main characters or something.’ But it’s so lost on some people that I’mma spell it out:

We’ve seen Blake and Yang’s trauma painted across the screen from ‘Burning the Candle’ when Yang first confesses her abandonment issues, to the White Fang / Adam arcs that gave us a picture of the abuse Blake has endured - not just as a Faunus, but from her partner (“Adam used to get into my head, make me feel small.”), right through to their separation that dealt with their respective issues with running away/being abandoned and the shared trauma which has tied them both together indefinitely. They’ve been apart, they’ve repaired their relationship, they’ve grown together. In a current volume that’s so inherently focused on character’s individual development, seeing Blake and Yang together was almost inevitable as they’ve been so completely involved in one another’s development throughout the entire series. This is without going into their fairy tale allusions that tie them together which I’ll go into further down or the references to Yin/Yang and numerous romantic tropes that show how integral they are to one another’s characters. Contrary to belief, it’s not romance for the sake of romance - in this instance, the romance very much strengthens their development individually.

Asides from all of this, it was decided from the very beginning that Yang would lose her arm (foreshadowed in the Yellow trailer). The moment they decided that Yang would lose her arm protecting Blake, was the moment a decision was made to invariably tie these two narratives together on a very fundamental level.

But also, don’t clown yourself into thinking you’re not a homophobe if you think any LGBT content belongs in the background whilst also rejoicing any onscreen developments between straight ships.

“If BB was meant to be a thing then they wouldn’t have had Sun as a romantic interest.”

Is there a universe where love triangles and bisexuals are a foreign concept?

But in all seriousness, I think that certain corners of fanbases seem to struggle with any concepts that are non-linear; something I often see with anime. By ‘linear’, I mean: love interest introduced > build up > canon > together forever. As opposed to ‘non-linear’; a character that goes on their own journey of discovery and, through which, has more than one interest and path over time and has the ability to change their mind. The show was never a ‘romance’ as a primary theme; it’s an action/adventure which has some romantic subplots. But to honest, Blake changing her mind shouldn’t really be this much of a shock to the fanbase given that our FIRST ever interaction with Blake, in her TRAILER, is her changing her mind about her partner (and first romantic interest) and deciding to pursue a new journey. A scene which is actually referred back to in the Season 6 opener when Blake uncouples the train and sees what she believes to be a hallucination of a hooded Adam on the opposite carriage, foreshadowing the importance of that original decision later in the series (“you didn’t leave scars, you just left me, alone”).

The arc that follows Blake thereafter is inherently tied to Adam (amongst other important themes), who is predominantly based off Gaston and the rose (or curse of the rose) from Beauty and the Beast. Blake and Yang are interchangeably alluded to as both Belle and the Beast throughout their character arcs from as early as the Red Trailer: “Black the beast descends from shadows / Yellow beauty burns gold.” and as recently as Blake describing Yang to the Hunter Mice in Vol. 9 Chapter 1. I can rhyme off these allusions until I’m blue, but again, I may save this for a master post.

The story that Blake is based on is a love triangle - she was never meant to have one set path from the beginning and romantic interests were always meant to play a huge part in Blake’s story/development; she was always going to have a romantic decision to make after conquering the curse / Gaston. Blake being haunted by her first romantic interest is foreshadowed in the ending of her trailer and first referenced in her conversation (with Yang) at Mountain Glen, and becomes an undeniable path of exploration once Yang loses her arm to Adam at the end of Volume 3. Let it be noted that Sun was present when Yang announced she was going to find Blake at the Battle of Beacon - a decision was made here for Yang to be the one to lose her arm protecting Blake, as was Adam’s poignant promise to take away everything Blake loves - “starting with [Yang]” or, otherwise, the solidifying of this romantic subplot. Which, again, is called back to with the infamous line: “What does she even see in you?” besides the obvious subtext, it’s setting the stage for these parallels between Adam and Yang, past and future, the previous love interest identifying something in Blake that used to be reserved for him, now directed towards Yang.

This season began with Blake declaring that Yang “seems scary, but isn’t”. Because, once Belle knows the Beast isn’t scary, she allows herself to fall in love (conveniently, this is said whilst walking through a fairy tale).

I could go into a big post about romantic foils and the ways in which Yang, Adam and Blake are all foils to each other but I might make a separate post instead for anyone new to the FNDM. Either way, I feel it’s worth mentioning as it’s Blake who directly compares Yang to a past love interest who was designed with semblances and characteristics that mirror each other. Point being, no one should be shocked that Blake has multiple interests given the character and fairy tale she’s based off and heavy allusions where Yang is concerned.

“Oh yeah, because Yang ‘literally purred at guys in their underwear’ Xiao Long and Blake ‘literally kissed a boy’ Belladonna are clearly bisexual because of [insert out of context reasons]” and “yes but Monty said...”

1. You mean... the one, and only one scene in 9 entire volumes where Yang shows any interest (albeit jokingly) in a guy, and the literal scene directly before she sees Blake from across the crowded room and proceeds to never express interest in men again? (Ignoring the very obvious implied trope here). And, in fact, only expresses interest in a woman from this point onwards? This is your frame of reference? Personally, I find it quite lovely that Yang’s perspective is never the same from the moment she sees Blake. Asides from this, while ‘bisexual’ is the label that these guys have gone with, Yang’s sexuality hasn’t been confirmed outside of being sapphic - it’s not outside the realm of possibility that she is, in all likelihood, lesbian. It’s important to note here that any young character expressing an interest in a man would not invalidate that same character being a lesbian. In fact, if we apply this to real life, it’s not uncommon for people not to realise that they’re queer immediately (I myself didn’t until I was 21). But in the opening episodes of the series especially, I’d very much chalk this up to writers exploring the characters.

2. As for Blake - there are, from what I remember, three kisses in the entire show so far. The one between Jaune and Pyrrha - on the lips after prolonged romantic allusions between the two (their romance is explicitly referenced by Nora - “practice what you preach, Pyrrha.” - almost fitting that it’s Nora to call out the Bees in Season 7 - A Night Off, no? Neat little parallel for y’all). The one between Ren and Nora after trying to work out the status of their romantic relationship - again, on the lips. And the one where Blake says goodbye (and thank you) to Sun by kissing him... On the cheek. (So hot, I know). Which is immediately followed up with Sun telling Neptune “it was never about that”. One of these is not like the other, can you guess which? I’ll wait.

As for referencing Monty - I could go on all day about this one, and the quote most notoriously used is ‘they’re a sisterhood’. Firstly, let me just say that I find it disturbing that anyone would use the show’s deceased creator as ammunition, whilst also disregarding his other comments on LGBT rep - specifically, ‘maybe there are LGBT characters there now / they’re just kids rn and figuring it out / it needs to be earned’. But also, it’s really disturbing and egotistical that anybody would pretend to know what Monty wanted better than the crew he handpicked, worked with, collaborated with and was friends with (special mention to the fact that his own brother is one of the cast). If you truly want to honour his legacy, then show respect to the people he put his trust in.

“I don’t have an issue with BB, but why does it always have to take away from Yang’s moments with Ruby?” / “All Yang’s feelings for her sister transferred to Blake.”

One from the hall of fame. The age old question of ‘can a girl have a romantic partner and still care about her family?’ I wish this wasn’t a serious question, but there are actual sides of the Fandom that seem to think that Yang’s forgotten about her sister that she raised because she has feelings for someone and that the sole purpose of Yang’s existence is to be her sister’s keeper.

I’mma address this on 3 fronts. 1 - Logistically, the episodes for RWBY, excluding the intros, are 15-20 mins long currently and typically oversee several different storylines particularly as the cast grows larger, leaving us with... What? About 5 minutes of team RWBY interactions? It’s not a lot of time to pack in character development, relationship development, plotline, strategy etc. so often if they’re wanting to develop more than one relationship, they will alternate between putting these themes in the background (such as the yellow in Blake’s sword, references from other characters etc.) and foreground, and some developments have to be shoulder-to-shoulder to fit them in. This isn’t an indicator of how much one character cares for one another and is more a demon created by people’s perception of how they ‘think’ a protective sister should act.

Additionally, it should be noted that Yang fawning over Ruby and not allowing her to develop other relationships outside of her sister, would actually offer us nothing from a development perspective for both Yang and Ruby’s characters and would, instead, steer these two strong female characters down a path of co-dependency.

2 - It feels like a very easy excuse for Anti-BB folk to throw out there, conveniently forgetting how great of a sister Yang actually is (contrary to the number of RWDE videos I’ve seen arguing otherwise, as this is an essay I could write in itself). These very often take isolated incidents out of context and conveniently forget important information like Yang 1. Literally sacrificing herself twice to protect her sister 2. Sacrificing her entire childhood to raise her sister and 3. Importantly, the fact that Ruby is her (self-sufficient) Team Leader needs to be factored into their dynamic, as Yang gives her space to find herself as a leader and steps in when her sister actually needs her - not when the audience thinks she does. People hear ‘protectiveness’ and seem to think that this should mean that Yang should be overbearing.

3 - Anyone who says this doesn’t have siblings. I have older and younger siblings and, having largely raised my younger sibling, I can safely say that I still love them even when I’m in a relationship. I also feel extremely secure in arguing/disagreeing with any of my siblings because I inherently know they will still be there at the end of the day - a sibling love goes deep (referencing ‘Fault’ from Volume 8). However, in a romantic relationship that is not established and very new... you will feel insecure, that’s normal, it doesn’t have the luxury of established stability that siblings do, and therefore you will overtly express more anxiety about this as a result. It’s a very strange concept that if you have a sibling, you need to give them all of your attention and ignore any love interests. Yang has gone through her own traumas, she has every right to care about others, heal herself, and have a life that isn’t defined by being a caretaker for her sister. ESPECIALLY as she already gave up her childhood to fulfil this role, unselfishly AND as the person she’s bonding with is best poised to understand Yang’s trauma. Yang as a character deserves to receive the love she constantly gives out. Again, this is a demon born from the fact that it either doesn’t reflect the relationship commentors have with their siblings, or the fact that they’re *imagining* how that relationship should be.

Bonus picture below: Yang putting aside her anguish for Summer Rose, who she considered to be her mother, to prioritise comforting her sister about that same loss.

“I hate BB shippers because they pass off BS interactions as platonic. BS made more sense, there was no build-up to BB until Vol 6 and they let the BS build-up go to waste to force BB.”

First off, there’s nothing wrong with BlackSun as a ship. Shipping shouldn’t be dictated by canonicity and people have the right to ship it and to their opinions. And while a few of these seem to have referenced BS, I don’t actually think that BS shippers are at fault for the hatred coming this way, but rather that the ship seems to get used as ammunition from the Anti-BB crowd - to summarise, Anti-BB and BS shippers are not synonymous. I personally don’t ship BS, but I do enjoy the debate and actually think that Sun is a very important part of Blake’s development and arc. There did seem to be some form of mutual attraction between Blake and Sun. Had they gone down that route, I wouldn’t have hated it, I just never felt excited by it, which seems to be a large consensus amongst BB fans. An appreciation whilst feeling there was a better alternative.

Believing all the development between Sun and Blake was ‘wasted’ is also very closed-minded given how much he helped Blake in the White Fang arc and also disregards the importance of their friendship. BS has the potential to be one of the best and most supportive friendships in the series, I stand by that.

That said, I don’t think it’s entirely wrong to acknowledge that a lot of (not all) interactions between BS were platonic from Blake’s pov while Sun’s feelings were more explicit. The only real hint I saw of Blake reciprocating was a blush at the Vytal festival. Maybe the dance at a stretch, but there’s hints at both BS and BB and I will fight you on it. Now, it might be a question of timing; Adam was still a prevalent threat during this time which will have been weighing on Blake given the resurgence of the White Fang, and is clear when Adam rocks up seeking vengeance in Volume 3. For this reason, I honestly think it would have been disingenuous to have explored Blake in a full relationship with anyone at this point given these loose ends, and Blake undergoes a lot of development over volumes 4-6 as a direct result of this.

Additionally, if BB didn’t begin until Volume 6 then that means that BS had 4-5 volumes to happen - 2 of which where they were in their own arc, separated from the main cast. It didn’t happen. What happens instead is Blake’s guilt over Yang weighs heavily on her while she deals with her arc and Sun helps her come to terms with this, ultimately redirecting her back to her team, and Yang, while Sun’s interactions with her become increasingly platonic from his side.

Lastly, the only way you don’t see build up for BB, is if you actively will yourself not to see build-up. If you replace Blake and Yang’s moments with Sun, I don’t feel there’d be any misunderstandings on how these moments are supposed to be interpreted. Take off the hetero goggles, and we’re cool.

But on a sidenote and personal pet peeve of mine, the cries of ‘BB is forced while BS had build-up’ will forever irritate me - BB has a slow burn, a full arc, developed from a friendship and partnership as well as several tropes and allusions without going into too much detail. BS, firstly, never ended up happening, but it starts when Sun runs past, winks at Blake, magically knows she’s a faunus, then proceeds to follow around a girl he doesn’t know for two days who, at his own admission, didn’t speak that whole time. But... BB is forced? I’d say it’s subjective, but logic defies when this is the barometer for a natural introduction of a romantic pair.

“BB is ‘queerbait’”

Let’s address the ‘Goliath’ in the room, shall we? ‘Queerbaiting’ gets thrown around like a reflex at the moment by pseudo-fans who I don’t believe actually know the gravity of their statements or the meaning behind the word. I often see this slur paired with BB being strung out to keep the shippers watching. Now, there’s an essay in itself that could exist in this section, but are people really still clowning themselves that a show that’s explicitly shown that it wants to have queer representation in the cast and foreground is ‘queerbaiting’ it’s audience? Even weirder for me is the part of the FNDM saying that it’ll be baiting if they make BB canon. Please stop this nonsense and do some research.

Now, one thing I would like to tackle is that, sadly, some will still see pairings on the show through heteronormative glasses, so let me use that here. If the pair were a m/f couple and had several seasons of development and increasingly intimate moments, there would be no doubt in anyone’s mind that 1. It was heading in the direction of canon and 2. That it was a slow burn romance that’s building to its’ climax. Interestingly, the show actually does use the hetero goggles to frame BB on several occasions by paralleling this budding romance with several straight ships such as Arkos and Renora. Why? Because this is a narrative technique often used by writers to frame LGBT romances to separate them from ‘just friendships’ and, let’s face it, use an unconscious heteronormative bias to their advantage.

“BB is badly written, they barely interacted in volumes 1-3 then didn’t speak for two volumes.”

Tickle me pink. Volumes 1-3 are a very strange reference point for ‘in-depth’ development between characters. Crumbs, sure. The odd scene, absolutely. But let’s be real here - the show started as a low budget web series with an onus on cool fighting scenes and, most importantly, the episodes were around 5 minutes long whilst entertaining teams RWBY and JNPR, the White Fang, the Vytal tournament and several other plots. Nobody particularly interacted much but the writers did the best they could with what they had and the rest is left to us, the audience, to interpret that relationships are developing off-screen. Though from a critique POV in the interest of fairness, I would say the current season is a breath of fresh air by re-focusing the plot on the central characters as I think the show can sometimes be guilty of taking on too many plotlines.

As for volumes 4-5, while they’re in different continents, it’s obvious that they’re prevalent in each other’s arcs. Whether it’s Yang admitting she’s struggling with Blake’s abandonment - in the same episode the first lesbian character is revealed confessing their feelings to Blake (sidenote, all of team RWBY left Yang, and it’s Blake she’s mad at, this was always meant to be framed differently to her other teammates and IMO the struggle they go through is meant to frame the characters coming to terms with the depth of what they mean to each other), the parallels of them both getting onto the ship (named ‘Pride’ - wink wink), or Blake actively struggling to talk about Yang, yet referencing it when Sun is hurt (“Not again!”) showing it’s at the forefront of her mind. All of which culminates in their reunion in the Vol 5 finale.

Is it the best writing ever? No, nothing’s perfect. But they do explicitly use parallels throughout the series to drive the narrative forward as a foreshadowing tool to strengthen subplots.

“Blake being bisexual makes no sense - she was interested in Sun, it just seems so out of the blue, she and Yang just seemed like friends to me.”

Funny, because she and Sun seemed like friends to me too.

There are so many things I wanted to fire back at this, from the insinuation that if a woman first shows interest in a man then it’s out of the blue that she’s bisexual now that she’s showing interest in a woman... Like, how do you think it happens for bisexuals IRL?! Did you want her to burst onto the scene in Volume 1, announce she likes men and women, and then express explicit simultaneous interest in both of them? Start a harem? Proposition a throuple?

This particular take amuses me most of all as someone who is very openly bisexual. Yes, she and Yang seemed like friends. Great friends, in fact. That hold hands and blush and want to spend all their time together. And check each other out when the other isn’t looking. And make excuses for casual physical contact and flirt and giggle like a couple of giddy teenagers. Just like me and my ‘best friend’ did, before I realised I was bi. I’m sure that a lot of people thought it came out of the blue for me too. Blake being oblivious to being bisexual until it becomes too obvious to ignore is actually a very realistic scenario.

Bonus headline - just because you don’t understand/identify with something, doesn’t mean that it’s not good representation or realistic. I feel it’s also important to mention Blake’s VA, Arryn Zech, is bisexual and has spoken numerous times on the matter. The reason I bring this up is because it’s clear that the way in which the bisexuality of her character is presented on the show is actually something that’s incredibly important to Arryn - because good representation is significant.

Presenting labels and sexuality on Remnant: A Theory and - “BB is a terrible representation of LGBT and your critique ignores the female and LGBT people that have spoken out against it.”

They say, to someone who is both female and LGBT. Credit to the Anon who charged into my inbox to accuse me of the above - hope you enjoy. Now, there’s a couple of things I’d like to cover before I go into how sexuality is perceived in-universe. The first is that if you use this argument against someone who is queer without seeing the belligerent hypocrisy of your statement, please check yourself as, clearly, you only care about LGBT voices on representation when it aligns with your own rhetoric and ready to dismiss any narrative to the contrary from that same community.

Secondly, the queer/LGBT community is a vast and vibrant community of *individuals* with their own opinions and own voices. I didn’t nominate anyone to speak on my behalf, just as I don’t speak on the behalf of the rest of the community. Moreover, any art is open to interpretation. My opinion does not override theirs, nor does their opinion erase my own. And, believe it or not, it’s quite possible to have two or more differing opinions within one community without being at war with one another. I respect their opinion, just as I hope they respect mine.

We clear? Great. Onto the analysis! Huge shoutout to @crimsonxe for the brilliant discussion and assistance with the analysis in the comments that helped me construct this section! You’re awesome.

Let’s dive in with the headline - Homophobia doesn’t appear to be an issue on Remnant and labels don’t appear to exist, in the sense that it doesn’t appear anywhere in-universe. Now just to pre-emptively disclaimer: this may change, but in 9 volumes and however many supplementary materials, we’ve not heard any labels or had any representation of this type of discrimination. If that changes, I’ll happily remove this.

So why is this important, you ask? Ultimately, when you take away the inherent ‘fear’ that a lot of the LGBT community face IRL along with prevalent ignorance towards the community and society’s insistence on labelling sexualities and gender identity, it creates a world divorced from our own and is, from a narrative point of view, a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it allows the characters to explore themselves in a non-discriminatory environment that is inherently more fluid and free, whilst the audience will inevitably want to compare that to their own experiences. But we can’t - not properly - due to the still very real stigma and discrimination that exists in our own world. Instead, what we see are characters who express an interest in other characters and find other ways to allude to their preferences or identity. A prime example of this would be May, canonically a trans character, who does not use this term in-world but instead says, “To the Marigolds that meant I wasn’t their son, and I made sure everyone knew I wasn’t their daughter.” This is a theme that is poignantly reflected in the accompanying media for the series - such as the books; for instance, Coco, canonically lesbian, referring to “breaking the hearts of many women.”

How does this tie into the relationship with Blake and Yang? Glad you asked. If you bear in mind that Remnant has a very fluid outlook on sexuality and more of a ‘love who you love’ ethos which is blind to gender norms, it immediately subverts the assumption that interactions between m/f are romantic while f/f are platonic. It’s an open field, if you will. BB is a steady build from partner/best friend (though I’d argue that at least Yang had an immediate attraction, with Blake figuring herself out) with interactions that become increasing more intimate. Eye rolls and jokes become winks and innuendo (“I love it when you’re feisty!”), nudges become intimate hugs (Burning the Candle), become hand-holding (it isn’t coincidence that these two have held hands more than any other pair in the series), becomes pining, blushing, forehead touches (BB and Renora - remember those parallels), which evolves into flirting and... More. And yes, some of their interactions will still resemble the friendship they built their foundations on. But in a world where labels don’t exist, that journey from friend-to-lover is much more subtle and embedded in a gentle upwards curve of increasing intimacy.

“BB is only happening because the horrible BB fans demanded it, the show caved and gave in to the toxic fanbase, it wasn’t planned from the beginning.”

I’ve seen this in so many places, like a broken record. I have no doubt that there are BB fans that are fanatical, and I’d never justify the behaviour of any so-called fan that resorts to death threats or violence in any way. I’m hoping this surely must be a minority that has, hopefully, shrunk over the years as the audience has matured. However, this also really isn’t how shows work...

As many have pointed out in recent weeks, the show would be a very different landscape altogether if CRWBY were, in fact, that easily swayed by fans; namely, I’m thinking of Clover/Qrow, Pyrrha, Penny etc. While I don’t doubt that show-makers pay attention to the fanbase where needed and where it’ll be beneficial (seeing how fans react to developments, if allusions are clear etc.), sending death threats or whatever is actually much more counterproductive than anything else. But also... You’re not on the crew, you’re not part of those discussions. I feel confident that Miles, Kiersi and Kerry aren’t writing BB content with a gun to their head.

Lastly, the ‘it wasn’t planned from the beginning’ war cry is a tale as old as time. Like Beauty and the Beast. (See what I did there?) Asides from the fact that 1. Yang and Blake were actually the first created out of the team, and made with each other in mind, regardless of in what context (check out the original character designs/concepts) 2. Even if it wasn’t planned from the beginning, what difference does it make? There are tonnes of examples where the writers have felt the chemistry between two characters as the story’s gone on and decided to put them together (case-in-point from outside the anime world.. Chandler and Monica from Friends). In fact, while some writers like to plan every element of their plot from the beginning, there’s a great many writers who allow the characters to steer the plot as they grow - especially arcs with romantic undertones. The series was made predominantly for the action - it’s not a romantic series, so if they didn’t plan it from the beginning that wouldn’t be unusual, especially given that the episodes of the first few volumes are literally 5-10 minutes long. But regardless of whether the romance of the two was planned or not planned, it does not make it any less meaningful.

But let’s be real, the issue at heart isn’t that they weren’t sucking face in the first 3 seasons, it’s that they thought Blake would be with a guy, and she chose a girl. To which I say... Get over your bruised ego, and move on.

“BB fans deserve the hate they get because of x, y, z and cos it has toxic shippers.”

And you’re... Not... Toxic? If you’re an Anti-BB shipper and go out of your way to stalk and comment on BB tags/accounts just to harass shippers etc, then are you any better than the toxic fans you supposedly hate? To me, following BB tags and looking at BB content whilst being an Anti-BB shipper is so weird, why you trying to hurt your own feelings?

Also, saying that innocent shippers who are just living their best life should bear the burden of the toxic FNDM, is literally the definition of tarring everyone with the same brush. Some of us just want to eat our crumbs in peace, and from our POV, you’re the toxic ones being disrespectful. Bonus point: others being toxic does not give you licence to be hateful to anyone you come across that doesn’t agree with you.

“I’m no longer watching the show cos it’s trying too hard to be ‘woke’”

This ain’t an airport, you don’t need to announce your departure. But since you are, if your issue is the gay representation in the show then wake up and look around... We’re everywhere. The show is literally just reflecting the diversity you see day-to-day; but you keep sipping that haterade, my dude, we’re here to stay.

#anti rwde #rwby analysis #bumbleby #rwby

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water-to-drink · 1 year

Text

Be a Gladiolus in a Field of Belladonnas pt3

(Summary): After coming to the horrifying realization of your true identity, Ei confronts the false idol she’s been worshiping while you are greeted by an unexpected character

Part 1 Last Part Next Part

(Characters): Ei, Venti, Zhongli, Nahida, Focalors, Murata, Lumine, Paimon, & ???

(Warnings): Not proofread

(A/n): This is very short compared to the last 2 chapters but I feel that since this brings a lot of information it’s best to leave it short

─────────── ✧ ───────────

“Golden blood! That’s proof that I’m the Creator, isn’t it?!” You yelled as you lifted your arm up to show the large gash oozing golden blood.

That can’t be right

It’s a known fact that the Creator has blood that shines brighter than the most precious of ingots proving their divinity, but why do you, an imposter have gold sliding down your arm?

Unless…

No, it can’t be. She couldn’t have been worshipping a fake for hundreds of years and have the audacity to make her hunt the real Creator. That’s impossible, it can’t be, or can it?

No matter how much she wants to reject that this situation isn’t happening in reality, she can’t deny what she’s seeing with her own eyes

The archon hardened by thousands of years of battle and the lost of her friends and sister

wanted to drop her weapon and beg at your feet. Beg for forgiveness for raising her polearm, the same polearm you gifted her. But the sensation of electro coursing through her body sent her into a panic. She can’t stop the elemental energy from building up inside her. Her feet began to move on their own

“I don’t think she’s convinced…” Paimon said as she clutched your uninjured arm

“Torn to oblivion…” Ei’s voice shook as lifted up her sword and began to swing it down

Before her sword could reach you, a portal opened up beneath your feet and sallowed you and the traveler

As she saw you fall into a sea of darkness and stars the last thing Ei saw was the look of betrayal on her Creator’s face

Before she can reach out for your hand the portal closed leaving Ei to dwell on what just happened, especially what she did to you, her Creator

Unable to hold back the tidal wave of emotions a sreech ripped out of Ei, tears rolling down her face. The Almighty Shogun feared for her ruthlessness reduced to nothing but a crying mess. Not caring if anyone would see her in this pathetic state, if someone wanted to take her head then so be it. She didn’t care it would be her punishment, for she committed the most heinous act in all of Tevyat

When the tears stopped falling she saw the golden palace reflected the river stream, the floating palace that you should be in and the electro god knew just what to do

The doors of the golden palace slam open as the Raiden Shogun storms in

“(Y/N)!”

The Doppelganger turned their head towards the archon

“Raiden, you lost the imposter. I expected better from you.”

“Cut the act! You’re not the real creator, are you?!”

The neutral expression of the your double dropped and formed to an expression of anger and bitterness. Zhongli stood in Ei’s path of the doppelganger

“That is no way to talk to the Creator, Beel!” Zhongli lectured

“They aren’t the Creator. The person you labeled an imposter is!”

“What nonsense you speak of?!” The hydro archon, Focalors yelled

“I saw them bleed gold blood. If I were to take your hand would you bleed red blood like the rest of us?”

“That’s enough from you, I suggest you watch your words before I-”

“Murata, I got this.” Your doppelganger said as they extended their hand as it glowed a purple light

“Agghhh!”

Ei fell onto the floor and started to writhe in pain. Her body felt like it was being torn apart, the room was quiet apart from the blood curdling screams ripping from Ei

The purple light emitted from the doppelganger’s hand stopped giving the archon some relief

“Ha ha… I was right. Ha, the real Creator would never do something like this.” Ei said while gasping for air

“I feel you should take Murata’s advice and watch your words, you wouldn’t want anything happening to your precious Inazuma.” The Doppelganger threatened

Ei’s eyes grew wide making the real imposter have a wicked smile on their face

“You’re all dismissed.”

The archons scurried out of the room, Zhongli and Murata helping Ei out of the room.

Once out the archons congregated in a room farthest away from the tyrant. There they discuss while seated at a table

“Ei are you sure you saw this… ‘imposter’ with golden blood?” Nahida asked

“I’ve seen a lot of bloodshed in my time and you know what red blood looks like under all lighting, but their blood… it simmered as they showed it to me.” Ei explained slumped on her seat

“Then what did you do afterwards?” Zhongli questioned

“I wanted to drop my weapon and beg for forgiveness, but my body moved on its own. Like someone was controlling me.” Ei answered

“So you think that the ‘Creator’ used your gnosis in a fashion similar to puppeteer and a puppet? That’s just outlandish.” Focalors stated

“It’s not out of the realm of possibility.” The other archons turned towards Venti who looked dejected. “You weren’t around during the Cataclysm, but we were called to Khaenri’ah. I remember what I was doing when I was violently plucked and put there. When I showed hesitation I felt as if my body wasn’t my own and it did things that I would never do”

The pyro archon slammed her hands on the table. “So we’re just play things for that fraud while we’re forced to hunt our real creator down?! There has to a way for us to stop this!”

“There might be a way, but I need to refine it a bit.” Nahida said

“While you do that do you know where the real creator is?” Zhongli asked Ei

“I don’t know, but I saw a portal open beneath their feet, I’m hoping their safe there

─────────── ✧ ───────────

“Hey Lumine, wake up! Please wake up!” You whispered pleads cautious of what could be lurking around

You started to grow panic until golden eyes fluttered open and met yours

Lumine shot up and frantically looked around trying to get an idea of where in the world you all are

“Where are we?” Lumine asked

“Paimon has no idea, it was like the ground opened up and sallowed us up!” The white haired fairy explained

“I think I have an idea on where we are, I think this place is-”

“The abyss…” A forth voice explained

You and your company turned to see multiple abyss monsters and a person in the center. The person was short in stature with golden hair framing a delicate face with the same golden eyes Lumine has

“Aether?!” Lumine gasped

The abyss prince gave an acknowledging nod and turned his attention towards your

“Your Grace, are you alright?” Aether’s voice was laced with concern

“Y-yeah, I just want to know what’s going on. I’m labeled as an imposter but I bleed golden blood and I was still attacked.” You uttered

“I’m terribly sorry you had to go through that, but rest assured you’ll be safe here in the abyss.”

“But I want to know, why Ei still attacked me! She saw I had golden blood, so why?!”

Aether was slightly taken aback by your outburst but quickly recomposed himself

“Well to see your Grace, the true imposter has the power to control the archons to carry out their will. They see you as a threat to their power and want you dead as soon as possible. If you were to step out of the abyss you won’t know a moment of peace, forever being hunted down.”

“This is all too much, but at least Diluc and everyone else in Mondstadt is okay…”

“It’s probably best to not assume the best, your Grace.” Aether said as he turned his head away from you

“What do you mean by that?”

“That imposter is known to be cruel and very tyrannical. I wouldn’t put it past them to employ torture and death to get any information on you.”

“No… you aren’t serious? That can’t be real, can it?!” You pleaded but the fact that Aether couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact with you told you enough

You fell to your knees as tears began to pour down your face. The tears became uncontrollable as thoughts of the people in Mondstadt filled your mind. Their kindness and compassion, they didn’t call you an imposter they just saw you as a normal person. You wondered if you would have preferred to be hunted down than to have this happen. Lives ruined because they were unfortunate enough to have met you

Then you thought of Dawn Winery, the nice servants and the even nicer master, Diluc. He opened his home to you and looked after you when he had no reason to trust you. The work his family had done for years potentially ruined because of some doppelganger

You wondered what would Diluc do in this situation. He fights to protect Mondstadt and would fight to protect the world from evils that plague it, so why don’t you do the same

You wiped the tears off your face and stood up. “They think I’m going to lie down and die. I’m going to live and I’m going to take them off that throne and bring their reign of tyranny to an end.” You turned towards the prince. “Aether, if want to see my mission complete then I request the support of your army.”

Aether got on one knee and bowed his head. “Though I disagree you should be doing this, but Celestia has committed a grave sin and it would be unacceptable if they went unpunished.” He declared, gold eyes that burned a rage that’s been raging for 500 years met yours. “I’ll see your mission to the very end, even if I die doing it.”

#genshin fanfic #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin imposter au #sagau ei #sagau venti #sagau lumine #sagau zhongli #sagau focalors #sagau murata #sagau nahida

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iamthat-iam · 3 months

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EMOTIONS 😂😁🥴😭🙂😡😨😵‍💫🤪

Today I am not Bry, I am Dr. Seuss

There's so many emotions, happy, angry, and sad!

Sometimes we wonder why we often feel so bad?

These feelings come in so strong like a tidal wave

It feels just as intense as attending a rave

But who says one feeling is better than the other?

Why do you take these labels to be true, like they came from your 'mother'?

The Truth is there's no happy, angry or sad

There's no emotional regulation to be had

There's nothing broken, nothing to fix

So CHILL OUT and eat some cinnamon sticks!!

What did all of that mean? It means there's NO ONE HERE to feel emotions, only awareness of sensations.

"but why do i feel anxious all the time on this 'journey'?"

It doesn't matter! Stop trying to analyze and figure out the meaning of sensations! There is no meaning!

#non dualism #nondualism #consciousness #awareness #self #self realization #advaita vendata

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cock-holliday · 3 months

Text

I think something extremely worth considering about the ICJ hearing is this: most of what feels underwhelming and angering about the ruling is irritation at the legal system and not at the ruling.

So, people pissed at the ICJ are right, and people saying “no this is actually a huge win” are also right.

It’s something that I, someone with a law degree, fucking loathe about the law.

Half a year back, a Montana judge ruled in a landmark case that companies were infringing on the right of the youth to have a clean environment. It was an historic move, and came after substantial long-haul efforts. It seemed like an impossible task and yet it was accomplished.

It’s also largely symbolic. Anyone who didn’t declare this the end of the climate crisis was labeled a doomerist, but functionally…what is going to be done now?

As of Jan 2024, not much!

The ruling followed up with “so now we turn to the state to address it.” And the state of Montana is red as all hell and full of climate denialism. So then what? If Montana doesn’t want to *do* anything, what then? Will the state be punished? Injunctions? Fines? Anything?

When you are fired from your job unjustly, you must prove you were fired unjustly, which can take years. If they decide the company was right (or maybe not wrong) to fire you, you get nothing. If they find that you’re right, you just get money. Which helps you, undoubtedly! Does it hurt the company? No. So for as long as they are profitable they can “afford” to violate worker rights.

Megacorporations engage in slave labor and generally when found to participate incur fines and prommy not to do it again. Companies like Heineken have faced lawsuits ranging from intentionally misleading consumers, unlawful dismissals, environmental destruction, slavery, and more. Companies like Coca Cola have murdered workers abroad staging strikes. Not murdered as in a word used to make their disregard hit your ears appropriately, I mean sent militias to gun down. They were found guilty of this in court. The company was found to be running death squads. Can you still buy a coke at the store or was the company shut down?

If you steal a dollar from the register at work you can be fired and go to jail. If your boss steals thousands from your paycheck, it’s an oopsie and if you take the time to prove it, you just get your money back. If you don’t get fired for looking, also.

The law is a tool of subjugation and on occasion we can study the tools and bend them like the bottom of a chain-link fence to let someone escape. But it is not a force for total liberation.

The law will never be capable of achieving liberation because the law is what impedes the liberation. It is legal to use slave labor in prison, it is legal to starve you, it is legal to kick you down and if you dare bite the hand that slaps you then it is legal to put you down.

The UN special rapporteur for torture came to a “school” in Massachusetts that was abusing autistic kids and the UN condemned that school for torture. The school is still operational today. The FDA said you had to stop torturing kids during covid and then covid “ended” so now all bets are off. There are people fighting against it every day but if someone burned down that building and sent all the kids home, the state and federal government who ignores the torture would descend upon that arsonist like a tidal wave.

The law is…underwhelming, disappointing, unfair, because it is not made for us, the people. It is made by those in power to keep their power, and little tweaks can undoubtedly be the difference between life and death for some, but it is never going to free us all. The law cannot be ignored as a factor in liberation but it is not a source.

That’s not what the law is.

Freedom is sought elsewhere.

#LJsm #child abuse #torture mention

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dragonrider9905 · 1 year

Text

Don’t Call Me Flower

Alright @techs-stitches! At long last, it is here!!!!! I finally finished the square you requested! I really hope you like it and thanks for the prompt :)

This story is a participating piece in @clonexreaderbingo.

Square: Phee

Attempt number 283: failed.

You fumbled and mumbled over your words and the babbling turned into a short stutter.

Luckily he didn’t seem to notice.

Ugh.

You’ve tried starting a conversation with Tech 283 times since he arrived on Pabu, but each ended in a complete and utter failure. You were cut off, not loud enough, or your tongue would tie itself in knots.

This isn’t saying you haven’t talked to him; you have…just never from your own initiative. Phee helped introduce you a great deal (you believed there was more to her motive here than just being friendly and inclusive like normal), one of the other Batchers or Omega brought you into the conversation, or Tech himself struck up an interesting comment. If the latter was the case, most of the time you just listened anyway and didn’t have an obligation to say much other than your appreciation of his observations.

It’s been exactly three weeks since this ragtag group of clones arrived on your little paradise. Good thing they came when they did too. They’d become an important part of the community after the tidal wave that wreaked havoc on the island’s home and uprooted their entire lives.

They were the breath of fresh air on a hot summer’s day which cools, but doesn’t chill. The kind that fills you with contended energy, and adventurous spirit.

And Tech, well, he’d caught your attention right away at Shep’s house; Phee invited you to join them for dinner the first night they were there. You smiled, seeing him hunched over his datapad. It was kinda funny, and cute in a way and you decided to try to pull his attention from it. You weren’t very successful. Phee was better at it than you but she worked some magic with her words then somehow always left the conversation suddenly and you and Tech would be ‘stuck’ with each other.

Then the tidal wave hit and you, Tech, and Phee made a great team rescuing the people of Pabu.

That introduced a whole new tie you had with the clone but somehow, even though you worked well together, you were still shy when it was only the two of you, and struggled with making yourself seen or heard in a semi-intelligent way.

Tech would come by more often than not with a new idea about improving town life (if you didn’t know any better, you’d say he’d enjoyed it and wanted to talk to you. Did he seem excited when he approached you? You wanted to say so *shrugs internally*) which would segway into other ideas and conversations. The topics always varied, but whatever it was, you always enjoyed it.

What really made you fall for Tech (or when you finally realized it or stopped denying it or admitted to labeling this nonsensical attraction that drew you to him—you haven’t decided which one to choose yet) was when you were discussing your name to the Batch. How it came up, you didn’t remember. You thought maybe Wrecker or Omega commented on how cool it sounded. It was a normal name to you, and you told them what it meant and how your parents chose it for you before they passed. Phee had mentioned she had various nicknames for you. Of course, you turned bashful as she was naming them off but couldn’t help your outburst as she concluded:

“Those are my special names for her. I don’t know what you lot will call her, but you can’t borrow mine. They’re exclusively for me to use, so you’ll just have to think of something else special for her.”

“Call me anything, but DON’T call me flower!”

“Why?” Tech tilted his head curiously to the side at your pout and curious out of character announcement.

“Would you like to explain to them why I don’t want to be called that?”

“It’s short for wallflower. Many of the town's kids growing up would call her that.”

“Wait, what? I don’t get it? Flowers are nice.” Wrecker scratched his head, confused.

“Ah, I understand the negative connotation. Wallflower is a term defined as a person who from shyness or unpopularity remains on the sidelines of a social activity. Often, the term is given to mean someone who is unattractive as well.”

You groaned and couldn’t repress an eyeroll, regretting it minutes later. You cringed at how you must have sounded at Tech’s explanation.

“Flowers are also fragile and weak. Often trampled without a second thought.” You finished for him, crossing your arms annoyed. “So any way you look at it, it just isn’t…” you waved your hand dismissively.

“Yes, but flowers are also…beautiful.”

The way he looked at you just then made your heart melt, your stomach twist with too many butterflies fluttering, and a red heat filled your face.

His eyes were perfect and shining. Not looking down at his datapad making an off comment, but rather, they focused on you and his words felt very intentional. A small smile graced his lips and something gentle blanketed his face.

“Besides, flowers can surprise you by being rather resilient and resourceful. Never underestimate.”

He proceeded to name many species that were eye-catching and cunning for being plants.

How could you not?

Tell me, who could blame you for letting something blossom in your heart after that?

Thinking back to that day always made you feel better after a blunder. As mentioned, 283 times, but you never tired of looking back. It calmed you and encouraged you to try again; maybe you’d be able to have him look at you the same way again.

Currently though, you were sitting on the deck of Shep’s boat. Leyana wanted to take everyone out on the water after a long day of rebuilding the city. She and Omega were playing about the boat, Shep was steering the ship, and everyone else sat about stirring their drinks and telling jokes, laughing and relaxing. Tech was on his datapad but also joined in with comments of his own. When Phee asked him why he didn’t just put the thing down, he claimed he could do both.

That earned an eye roll from Omega and Wrecker. You wondered what warranted that.

“What’s got your tongue tied, Gorgeous?” Phee came up beside you, while all the others looked out over the water at the coming sunset, putting an encouraging arm around your shoulders. By the look in her eye, she already knew.

You and Phee had been attached at the hip ever since you were born. She definitely was the older sister you never had. Growing up, she was always getting you in trouble and pulling you out of it. Phee looked out for you and practically raised you. She was only a few years older but sometimes when she got protective of you, it felt like she was much older than she naturally was. Kids weren’t always kind; you got bullied and called all sorts of things but Phee never let it slide. She got put in detention a few times at school for the extent she’d look out for you. You’d wait for her on the swingset outside and walk home together, every night without fail.

You loved her, and never minded how different the two of you were. She was everything you weren’t, and you admired that. Together, you felt like a complete circle. Where she was outgoing, adventurous, spirited, confident; you were calm, shy and nervous. You were cautious when she threw credits to the wind. You were observant, watchful and insightful, playing in the shadows, calculating, accurately foretelling, while she confidently and boldly put out her ideas. You never minded being in her shadow, until now. It felt like only she would ever see the light you had to offer. It wasn’t the same kind as hers, but that didn’t make it any less special. She made sure you knew that, but it would be nice having it come from someone else as well…

You groaned.

“How do you do it, Phee? It all comes so naturally to you. You can flirt, be fun and express what you feel and it comes across amazingly. When I try just getting a sentence out around him I can barely string a thought into words. And it doesn’t have to be an important thought either. Just saying I like the same berry juice he does sounds stupid. Why am I like this?”

You let your head fall forward and hit the table with a bang.

“I’m hopeless.”

“You must reeeaaaally like Tech if you’re vaguely mentioning him.”

You didn’t reply. You just let your shoulders droop and turn to face her with a scowl. Her grin was teasing but her eyes sparkled softly.

“I think you and Brown Eyes would make an amazing couple. He could learn a few things from you. Hun, just let him see the amazing woman I know.”

Phee gave your arm an encouraging squeeze.

“And I got a few ideas that might help him!”

“Really?”

“Of course! That one can be kind of dense. He probably likes you but doesn’t even know it. Let’s help him realize it, shall we?”

“I don’t know about that…I don’t know if he even knows I’m alive.”

“If he doesn’t, I’m going to fix that too; even if I have to smack him in the face.”

“Don’t do that!”

“Not literally, Hun, figuratively.”

“Oh, as long as it doesn’t hurt.”

Phee chuckled, “Oh I can’t promise that. I’m going to make him notice you one way or another if it’s the last thing I do.”

“Now I feel like I should be nervous. Phee, what are you planning?”

“You leave that to me. And why on earth would you be nervous; it’s me we’re talking about here!”

“Isn’t that reason enough?”

“Very fair.”

Your grins were missed by everyone except for a goggled pair of eyes. He didn’t know why you were smiling, but he was happy to see it. He only wished he could have been the reason.

— — —

Phee’s first attempt at matchmaking arose the next day, and did she have an idea! Phee assigned you and Tech to work on a pier so there could be more ports on the island for fishing and boating.

You were handy and confident working with your hands. Phee knew you’d be at ease doing something you were capable of with your eyes closed. Perhaps you could teach Tech a thing or two as well. That would boost your confidence and your conversation topics.

And Phee was right, for the most part.

You and Tech worked in perfect synchrony—and the repairs took the entire day so by the time the work was done, it was sunset. There were absolutely no hiccups with the construction.

“I think we’re set!” You said excitedly testing the boards you both were kneeling on, “We should be able to head in for dinner.” You spoke too soon. The nails poking out on the board just under you caught your eye. You’d have to make sure those were bent out of the way so no one would get hurt. “Oh drats.”

“Hm, it shouldn’t be too hard to fix. We’ll only be delayed a few moments.”

Tech rolled up his sleeves. Your jaw dropped in a gawk.

“Oh…”

Tech’s eyes snapped to yours, head tilted curiously.

“Ohhhh…..ohhh! Look!” You tried to cover up your blunder by pulling your eyes away from his forearms and to the water, pointing down at the glowing algae. “They never glow blue. They usually are green. Do you know why?”

You looked up at the same time Tech was bending over to look down, hitting your heads on each other. The shock of the hurt sent you both hurtling into the water.

Gasping and spluttering, you both emerged from the water covered with the glowing sea plant.

“Well this was an unexpected pleasure.”

At first you couldn’t tell if Tech was being sarcastic or not but then you saw him examining the algae. “Quite impressive.”

“Yeah, it is.”

Looking into the water surrounding you illuminated by the mysterious blue, you missed the enchanted look he gave you. Of course, you couldn’t read his thoughts, but if you could, you would have known that the incident made him chuckle internally and it was worth it to see you crowned in the elegant plant. It was beautiful, tangled and dripping from your hair while the orange gold of sunset threw its color on you. You rather looked like a siren, calling him to you.

But no, instead, you could only think all you accomplished was getting Tech thoroughly soaked and even more late for dinner because of your mishap. Now you’d have a matching bruise at least. That was something, right? Maybe? Maybe not? At least he got to examine the algae, that was a win. But he probably now thought you were a klutz.

You couldn’t know how impressed he was with your skill.

— — —

Phee wasn’t discouraged though. Her next idea was great in the planning and execution, for the most part. You somehow found a way to bangle it up.

She asked you to make your favorite dish so everyone could go on a picnic. There was a beautiful field on the other side of Pabu where the scenery was green and lush and the animals were frequent visitors. It would be a fun and relaxing way to end the day.

Originally, it was supposed to be Phee, Shep, Leyana, and the Batch…or at least that is what you were told, but somehow, Tech was the only one who showed up—also under the same impression.

You immediately saw right through the scheme but said nothing, blushing a deep red and internally cringing at the fact you didn’t see this coming. In fact, this is a scheme you pulled on Phee last year. She was just reusing it. You were relieved to see Tech did not catch on and thought it was a mishap the others didn’t show up. His brothers and sister had a last minute accident resulting in them not being able to go (which of course you knew was orchestrated between Phee and the others. How could it not. You’d put money on the guess Omega was in on this too.)

“No use letting the food go to waste, right?” You tried to shrug off the awkwardness, and it worked.

Tech heartily agreed and while you ate, your shyness melted away. You found yourselves swapping stories about those who you both loved and were not present. Laughing at foolish stories and regalling in the exciting ones.

“Phee’s really brave. I’m not so much. I’m kind of her shadow. Everything she is, I isn’t.” You winced at the weird choice of words. It’s fine. Play it cool. Everything is fine…Everything is not fine. That sounded so dumb.

“I don’t get opportunities to be brave like she does. She creates those opportunities. If they came along by chance, I’d probably miss them or go running in the opposite direction.”

Before Tech could answer, a clan of moon-yos jumped you from behind, tangling themselves and laughing. The things clung to your arms and legs while the little ones stole away the cake you made for dessert. The treasure acquired, all the little annoyances left.

You could only sit there and stare, dumbfounded.

How? What just happened?

In retrospect, you knew this about moon-yos. You should have seen that coming…you were just so eager to share your favorite fruit cake with your friends you didn’t even consider the creatures had the same taste as you. You normally foresaw this kind of thing! What was wrong with you? You were too eager, that’s all.

With a heavy sigh, you closed the basket.

“Are you alright? Their claws didn’t hurt you?” You asked him, only letting a small bit of exhaustion into your voice.

“No, it was rather an unusual occurrence…I would be alright if it didn’t happen twice in a lifetime though.”

“For you and me both, I guess we’d better head back, yeah? Lots to do tomorrow.” Packing up hid your embarrassment well, feeling like you wanted to die inside.

Tech helped you clean up, but in your distractedness, you missed the grin on his face and the wonder in his eyes. Their attack barely phased you. You were calm, cool, collected. Many would have shrieked and panicked. Not to mention how well you handled the loss of your famous desert.

The day certainly didn’t go as planned, but when was that a bad thing?

— — —

A few days later, after one of Tech’s famous flying lessons with Omega, the Marauder needed some light repairs. The close proximity sensors went out…again. Phee slyly and quickly suggested that you could assist with the repairs to your great horror. You didn’t know anything about mechanical stuff. On the island, everything was hand built practically. You were good with a hammer, not a spanner.

“Relax, Tooka,” Phee chuckled, “he probably won’t let you touch anything anyway. He’s rather particular about that ship. You’ll just talk and keep him company.”

What shocked everyone was when he excitedly agreed to your help.

You were not there to just keep him company.

Furthermore, dropping jaws, Tech was showing you what he’d like you to do.

Tech was under a desk panel inside the ship, and you were on the comms outside working on the roof, connecting the wires he told you, when he told you. Sweating buckets, you wiped your palms on your pants again. This was his ship. His pride and joy. You couldn’t mess this up. Breathing heavily, you waited for the next set of instructions.

“Alright, now connect the red sensor wire with the port of corresponding color. Then connect the blues.”

“Consider it done!” Somehow you managed to sound more confident than you felt. But that was a simple enough task. So far his instructions were easy and clear. But when you looked down at your panel, you noticed something looked off. The orange wire looked like it was melted into the port. If you connected the red now, you were sure the whole system would short circuit again.

You knew you should have asked but you didn’t. Instead, you took a firm hold of the orange wire and pulled.

Sparkles flew everywhere, a small explosion sound startling you. A scream escaped your mouth and you fell off the side of the ship.

Tech, hearing the snapping, was already on his way out to see if you needed anything. Good thing, as you fell almost right into his arms, the force almost knocked him over but he somehow righted himself.

“Are you alright?”

He set you down and started to examine your hands.

“You are fortunate, you are not burned, what happened?”

Throat constricting, you tried to explain the situation. Tears pricked your eyes but you wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of falling until you were alone.

“Let me take a look.”

When Tech reached the top, he looked down at the panel amazed. He guessed right away you weren’t a mechanic, but he was excited to have you around and share this with you if you were willing. But, actually, if you didn’t do what you did, this would have been much worse. The tiny explosion would have been a bigger one. You had an amazing head on your shoulders and a great knack for technology. All it would take was a little training and you’d be a natural. He’d be more than happy to show you.

He was going to offer just that, but you’d disappeared before he reached the ground. Perhaps you needed space after the shock. That was logical. He’d finish this up. He’d see you at dinner and ask how you were.

— — —

Tech did not, in fact, see you at dinner.

Indeed, Tech didn’t see you much after the accident. You were present the following morning when the boys and Omega went to market but after that you made yourself scarce and by the afternoon, he’d decided to seek you out. It didn’t take long to find you. You were on the ledge of the pier the two of you worked on together a few days ago. The thought made him smile.

Tech watched you hunched over on the pier, staring into the water and dangling your legs carefully over the edge. Your easy, relaxed smile he would often see on your face when you were alone or you thought no one was watching, was not present, and a feeling of worry washed over him.

Your eyebrows pressed together, hyper-focusing on something that wasn’t there. Lips were turned into a frown and mind distracted.

That really wasn’t like you. From what he observed, you were quiet…but also observant. You watched and understood everything that was happening. You always knew your surroundings and not much got past you. Your eyes were ever watchful, a hidden light which carried a flame underneath. A mysterious flame that intrigued and fascinated him. It danced with an unshed energy which promised something great, though what was yet to be seen—your power veiled behind a mask.

There was so much to you.

And he enjoyed every moment you let him in to discover something new.

The hidden garden of knowledge in the vastness of your mind and imagination was beyond anything he’d ever experienced. You brought up points he never even considered, and they excited him. Not many people outside his family had the ability to evoke an emotion of happiness from him.

You did.

And he found himself wanting to do the same for you. To be the reason you smiled. To be the reason you blushed and laughed. To be the reason for the clumsy mistakes out of distracted love.

He chuckled thinking of your late encounters. They didn’t ‘end well’ according to what Phee explained at lunch (though to be honest, he didn’t understand how), but each time left him with a glowing feeling in his chest which spread to his cheeks in a blush. How could they not have ended well when each one left him feeling a glow of love and pride towards you?

You’d been down today, that he knew, but he didn’t know it was this bad. Tech thought it was merely your social anxiety he found got to you when things were loud and crowds pressed in on you. The market was hectic getting ready for that festival. He thought that was all it was.

This wasn’t that…He wanted to check in with you and make sure you were alright after that last incident but now he was unsure. Did you need some alone space? Would he only make matters worse? Then again, Omega had commented on it being nice knowing you’re cared for even if you didn’t want it at the moment.

A huge crash broke him from his musings and Tech watched you turn in horror towards the source of the sound.

You started yelling something in a language he didn’t understand, tripping over yourself to get to the collapsing building. You didn’t stop to put your shoes on, you didn’t hesitate. You just ran.

He started running too, there could be people who needed help but there was something about your urgency that made him pause. Why….

Oh.

Tech doubled his speed. “Hunter, we have a problem. The orphanage under reconstruction is collapsing. I fear some of the children are still inside.”

“On it. I’ll get Wrecker. We’ll be there shortly.”

— — —

This just wasn’t a good day.

You screwed everything up. You were sure Tech wouldn’t want to speak to you again after what happened. After everything Phee had done to help you. After how far you thought you’d come, you’d always be the screw up.

You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair, feet dangling over the edge of the pier. In a better mood, you’d playfully kick in the water but now, they just hung idle, lacking the energy for anything more than allowing a cooling, numbing sensation to creep up your legs.

Perhaps you were just overthinking everything. A little bit of sleep might do you some good. You and the boys had been doing so much to repair the town, you’d gotten little rest. Your mind would go into overdrive when you were tired. Perhaps that was just the case here. No need to panic (yeah right). Some little sleep would show you you were not over with (maybe). You’d gather the courage to apologize and fix your mistake.

You would make it up to him somehow.

If your friendship wasn’t permanently damaged, you’d find a way to mend it. You had to. Tech had grown to mean too much to you for you to let him go so easily.

Disaster after disaster went before your eyes and you thought them through. Analyzed where you’d gone wrong. How you’d fix it or how you would make up for the blunder. It might take a while but it’d be worth it.

However long it took.

You’d talk to him first. This time, you wouldn’t stutter. You’d have to practice but you were determined. You would be heard and you’d get it out right.

Before your plans could progress further, a huge crash broke through your thoughts. You turned to see the orphanage had collapsed. Fear coursed through your veins. Some of the children were helping where they could; they prided themselves in their hard work of what they contributed. They could be trapped! When you heard shouting and screams, you knew you were right.

“Hold on, I’m coming!”

You pulled your feet and dashed toward the construction site.

“I’m coming! Lil, run to the village and get help! Myles, go get the physician! Tali, get Shep!”

You quickly took stock of the situation around you. One of the walls fell outward, seemingly because the upper floor was unstable and tumbled through it.

You heard your name cried out over and over and saw little Trisy running up to you.

“Hep! Hep! Tabby is twapped inside, please hep!” She cried and pressed herself into your leg. You held her and knelt down to her level.

“Hey, hey Tristy, look at me.” You swiped the hair from her face. “I’ll get her, ok? Where was she? Is anyone else inside?”

Tristy shook her head emphatically. “No, only Tabby.” She whipped her face only for the tears and mucus to be smeared over her cheeks and forehead as well. Her breath was coming in heaves.

“I’ll get Tabby; you stay here, ok?”

You only waited for her nod of confirmation before dashing inside the building.

“Tabby? Tabby! Where are you?”

You carefully tip-toed your way around the fallen logs, not wanting to upset anything.

“Tabby, please answer me!”

“I-I’m down here!”

You looked down and saw a part of the floor was broken through one more level. A pair of shiny eyes looked up at you with newly enkindled hope grappling with fear.

“Are you hurt?”

“N-no? I fell in after i-it fell. I think my ankle hurts a little, that’s all.”

Looking around for the best possible solution, you grabbed a rope to use as a pulley. Tossing it over what looked like a stable beam, you tested its strength, pulling and tugging. When it didn’t give, you tied one end around yourself and lowered yourself down into the pit.

When you reached the bottom, the child crawled over to you and clutched your middle. The poor thing had been crying but was trying so hard to be brave.

“It’s ok, I’m here now! I gotcha.”

Wrapping one arm around the child, you slipped the rope around her.

“Hold on tight, ok.”

The child nodded and you hoisted the two of you up with a huff and humph. Grunting, you tugged the rope, dragging your body and the extra wiggling weight up. Sweat beaded on your forehead. Shoulders and arms squeezing and solidifying. Lumps formed where your muscles used to be and your neck felt like it was ready to burst. You just had to reach the top!

Hand over hand. Break. Heave. Hand. Hand. Heave. Heave. Hand. Heave. Hand. Heave. Heave. Heave.

“We’re almost there. Almost. There.”

Gasping for air, you tugged one more time. Your muscles were shaking and you knew you couldn’t hold on much longer. You were so close to the top but you couldn’t let go. Tabby would get hurt if you fell. You just had to reach the top…

“May I be of assistance?”

That voice. One that you did not expect but yet were so happy to hear made you laugh and tears sprung to your eyes. Looking up, you saw a pair of goggled eyes looking down at you worriedly, hand stretched out in hopes of helping

“Can you grab her?”

“She is secured against you rather well. I would not be able to maneuver her without hurting her. I’ll grab the rope and pull, just hold on.”

Tech reached for the rope and pulled the two of you up, easing you into the unstable floor around the hole. His grip was firm and gentle. If you had time, you’d marvel at it, but your head was still reeling and you gasped for breath.

“Thank you.”

He didn’t anwer. He merely nodded…and placed his hand on your cheek? Quickly withdrawing it, he warned:

“Be careful, move slowly toward the outer part of the room. You should be safe then.”

As fast of a talker as Tech was, he didn’t speak fast enough for Tabby who was already trying to hobble toward the opening in the wall. Your eyes went wide, seeing the unstable beam before anyone else.

“Tabby, no!” You darted, scooped her up and tossed her (praying you didn’t hurt her) to the opening where you knew the floor was ok.

Breaking through and falling through the floor in the process.

Wood ate your leg, shards of teeth scraped all the way up from where you stepped. Hot blood seeped through the scratches as you tumbled into the darkness below. You were vaguely aware of someone shouting of your name.

You hit the ground with a sickening thud and crack.

You couldn’t breath and you couldn’t move.

Debris fell on top of you so whatever wasn’t broken, was weighed down.

“Just great.” You gave a little sigh when air could enter your lungs again, trying not to give up too much breath. “This is fine. Everything is great.”

Closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing, a peace settled over you. You knew you should be scared, but you weren’t. Shouldn’t you ask for help? Shouldn’t you be trying to get out? Definitely. But you could only lay there.

Everything hurt…but it felt so nice to just lay there and sleep…

You loved Tech but why was he shouting at you? What was he shouting?

Oh.

“Wake up! You cannot go to sleep! Wake up!”

When did he climb down? How did he get down? How long have you been laying there? Surely not long…

Wait, did he just slap you?

Your eyes fluttered open.

“Hey.”

You tried to focus on Tech, eyes scrunched with undisguised worry as they searched your face and body.

“That wasn’t nice. Waking sleeping people isn’t nice.” you mumbled with a slight smirk.

To your surprise, he didn’t spout off a fact like you expected him to, instead he smiled a little sadly. For the first time, he seemed unsure of what to say.

“It is, if you’re afraid they will expire in their unconsciousness.”

“Fair enough.”

Wait, he was afraid of you dying? WAIT? WERE YOU DYING?

Panic overtook you. Eyes wide, you started to gasp and move around, words failing to form. Thankfully, Tech guessed your line of thought.

“Nothing to worry about. I have already woken you. You just need to stay awake for me, alright? I’ll move the debris off, and you will be just fine.”

“Are you lying to make me feel better?”

Tech looked at you and readjusted his goggles. “Now why would I do that?”

Wanting to shrug but not being able to, you settled for a sigh and fell silent.

You felt a piece lifted off you…he was so strong…you could get lost in the movements of him heroically saving you but then he stopped. You nearly pouted but held back.

“Please, while I work, give me assurances you are still conscious. Talk if it isn’t painful or clench and unclench your free hand. I…was worried before. You fell rather far and hit your head.”

“Ok…”

Your mind searched for topics but the only one that came to mind was the thought that gave you comfort these past few weeks. You laughed a weak huff.

“Like I said…easily crushed…very appropriate…right…about now.”

“No,” His voice was firm, not angry but steal-like, “like I said. Beautiful, brave, resilient, resourceful.” His soft smile returned. “Seems like Phee isn’t the only brave one of the two of you. My hypothesis was correct; I just wish you didn’t test it in such drastic measures.”

Your head nodded a little, the ghost of a laugh on your lips while your eyes fluttered closed.

“Please don’t go to sleep. I can’t lose you like this.”

Wait…he was worried he’d lose you?!?

You wanted to comment on that. You didn’t know how, so after opening and shutting your mouth a few times, you settled on something equally important.

Not knowing what else to say, you decided now was as good as ever to apologize. He might even be more forgiving with you in this condition.

“I’m sorry…for everything, Tech.” Tears started to well in your eyes. “I messed up so much. I ruined your ship. I—”

“You’re upset because you thought you hurt me or I was angry with you?”

You nodded, letting out a little sob. You couldn’t look at him, so you clamped your eyes shut and bit your lip, the pain keeping you from falling asleep. …he said your name so gently, the lump in your throat returned.

“You didn’t at all. I am sorry you thought that. I would have talked to you sooner had I known that is what upset you so. You were so grave I thought you needed some space as when you were overwhelmed. Phee told me you thought you ruined some important moments together, but I did not equate that with the toll it took on your mind. How could I when everything you did evoked a feeling of love for you?”

You sucked air through your lips and let the tears fall.

“You’re not teasing me are you? Because l love you. And if this isn’t real, I swear…”

But you were startled into opening your eyes anyway.

Did you die, or was Tech actually kissing you?

Tech placed one of his hands on your cheeks, stroking it gently with his thumb. His lips moved over yours ever so softly, as if he was afraid the movement would hurt you, yet there was a firmness there which reassured you that he wasn’t timid of you or how he felt.

“You’re my beautiful flower. Nothing will ever change that. I promise. Now let’s get you out of here. If you wilt before, that is simply unacceptable and unforgivable after this confession.”

You chuckled, “Alright. Deal. No croaking before we leave.”

“Or after.” He sighed. “That was not giving you permission to ‘croak’ after being helped to safety.”

You could only laugh.

“I won’t plan on it. Not when I’m finally yours. And Tech, only you can call me flower.”

“I thought it would be obvious...my flower.”

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redtail-lol · 1 year

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Pan Lesbian Tidal Terms

okay you know what this is by now, if not check the tidal terms tag. Flags based on Kenochoric's pan lesbian flag!

#1: Full-Moon Springtide Pan Lesbian

[Image ID: A 5 striped flag modeled after the pan lesbian flag by kenochoric. The top stripe is a dark red; the second one down is a dark, dusty orange; the middle stripe is white; the second to last stripe is a bright sea foam green; the bottom stripe is aqua blue. The flag on the left has a fade between the top two stripes and bottom two stripes, and the middle stripe is glowing. Both flags have turquoise full moons.]

Meaning: Someone who considers themselves a pan lesbian because they're attracted to all genders that could be considered part of lesbian attraction, usually equally! Ex: wlw and everyone who could be considered wlnb.

#2: First-Quarter Neaptide Pan Lesbian

[Image ID: A 5 striped flag modeled after the pan lesbian flag by kenochoric. The top stripe is a dark red; the second one down is a reddish oranhe; the middle stripe is a bright yellow; the second to last stripe is a deep aqua green. The bottom stripe is teal. The flag on the left has a fade between the top two stripes and bottom two stripes, and thw middle stripe is glowing. Both flags have turquoise half moons, with the left half being obscured by shadow.]

Meaning: Someone who considers themselves a pan lesbian because they are pan, but either a) their attraction to genders considered part of lesbian attraction is much greater than their attraction to other genders, and as such they feel somewhere in between pan and lesbian, or b) they're only comfortable having relationships with people who would normally fall under lesbian attraction.

#3: New-Moon Springtide Pan Lesbian

[Image ID: A 5 striped flag modeled after the pan lesbian flag by kenochoric. The top stripe is a deep, very dark red; the second one down is a dark, dusty reddish orange; the middle stripe is a slightly desaturated yellow; the second to last stripe is a bright aqua green. The bottom stripe is between teal and blue. The flag on the left has a fade between the top two stripes and bottom two stripes, and the middle stripe is glowing. Both flags have turquoise new moons.]

Meaning: Someone who considers themselves a pan lesbian because they use the split attraction model, and are lesbian in one form of attraction and pan in another.

#4: Third-Quarter Neaptide Pan Lesbian

[Image ID: A 5 striped flag modeled after the pan lesbian flag by kenochoric. The top stripe is a deep, dark, slightly pinkish red; the second one down is a slightly lighter, more orange shade; the middle stripe is a very pale yellow; the second to last stripe is a dark color between teal and green. The bottom stripe is an even darker color between teal and blue. The flag on the left has a fade between the top two stripes and bottom two stripes, and the middle stripe is glowing. Both flags have turquoise half moons, with the right half being obscured by shadow.]

Meaning: Someone who considers themselves a pan lesbian because they are pan, and are reclaiming the historical definition of lesbian!

#5: Tidalphasic Pan Lesbian

[Image ID: The original pan lesbian flag by kenochoric with its slightly dark, pinkish red top stripe, orange second stripe, pale greenish yellow middle stripe, bring aqua green second to last stripe, and bottom aqua blue stripe, with an overlay of 4 turquoise moons in a small arc. From left to right, they are a full moon, a half moon with left side shadow, a new moon, and a half moon with right side shadow. The left flag also has a fade between the top two stripes and bottom two stripes, and the middle stripe is glowing]

Meaning: Someone who's reason for identifying as a pan lesbian is fluid and changes. They go through the many phases of possibilities just like the moon and tide!

#6: Midtide Pan Lesbian

[Image ID: A 5 striped flag modeled after the pan lesbian flag by kenochoric. The top stripe is a dusty red; the second one down is a bright orange; the middle stripe is a pale yellow; the second to last stripe is a light, slightly bluish green; the bottom stripe is a slightly desaturated aqua blue. The flag on the left has a fade between the top two stripes and bottom two stripes, and the middle stripe is glowing. Both flags have turquoise crescent moons.]

Meaning: A pan lesbian who's experience was not covered by this post, or a pan lesbian who's experience is a mix of the labels here. You are all valid pans/lesbians but I don't know every way to be a pan lesbian! Just like the tide, lesbian experiences aren't rigid and there are times you are in between two.

Please feel free to coin your own tidal labels! And thanks for checking out the blog

[Image ID: A reddish brown image bordered with the aurora lesbian, lunian, bi lesbian, and omni lesbian flags. There's an illustration of a calico cat and text that reads "PLEASE: •Check my pinned before following •DNI: Pedos, zoos, people seeking discourse, solicitors, and anyone seeking a relationship with me." End ID.]

#pan lesbian #mspec lesbian #mspec lesbian safe #bi lesbian #pan lesbian safe #tidal labels #lgbt #lgbtq #mogai coining #mogai #mogai identity #mogai orientation #orientation coining #inclusionist #inclusionism #inclus

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kakuchari · 27 days

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summary: Kakucho is bored. In fact, depressed might be a better way to put it after dealing with Izana's death, having his ghost haunt him with every step he takes with Bonten. He finally snaps, going AWOL and taking a trip to a far-away island in the tropics to escape the demons he's created in Japan. There, he manages to meet someone who finally makes life feel worth sticking around for. But as he knows, and as he should have known...nothing seems to enjoy lasting forever around him.

-> content warnings: fem!reader, vacation hookups, angst with a happy ending, gang violence, alcoholism, drug usage, burn-out, depression, slight suicidal ideation, references to canonical character deaths, bonten!timeline, heavy ooc and au behavior (kakucho still has a buzzcut), kakucho & izana pairing on the side, abandonment, grief, suggestive themes

-> author's notes: finally, my next series! this one is going to be based off of some of the discography off of ocean eyes by owl city (deluxe edition, of course). i've been meaning to write more kakucho, and i haven't really explored his grief after izana's death. i am taking lots of liberties here so i'm labeling this as an au with Bonten influences. enjoy! due to the various warnings and smut contained in several of these chapters, minors, please do not interact <3

-> tagging: @enchantedforest-network @thehoneypotserver

chapter 1: cave in ❝ i’ll tie my handlebars to the stars ❞

based on cave in. [link] [ao3 link]

chapter 2: umbrella beach ❝ i think dreamy things as I'm waving goodbye ❞

based on umbrella beach. [link] [ao3 link]

chapter 3: on the wing ❝ are you just a decoy dream? ❞

based on on the wing. [link] [ao3 link]

chapter 4: vanilla twilight ❝ the space between my fingers is right where yours fits perfectly ❞

based on vanilla twilight. [link] [ao3 link]

chapter 5: tidal wave ❝ i wish i broke mirrors instead of promises ❞

based on tidal wave. [link] [ao3 link]

chapter 6: if my heart was a house ❝ if my heart was a compass, you'd be North ❞

based on if my heart was a house. [link] [ao3 link]

divider credit: @/benkeibear for the mdni and simple line dividers!

disclaimer: please do not copy or repost my works for any reason. translations are acceptable, but please ask for permission first!

#kakucho x reader #kakucho hitto x reader #hitto kakucho x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #enchantedforestnetwork #please like/interact with this post if you'd like to be tagged!#📝 ari's autographs

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fionaapplerocks · 7 months

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Christmas is coming early – the Fiona Apple albums: Tidal, When the Pawn, Extraordinary Machine, Idler Wheel are all getting a vinyl re-pressing on the mid-price Sony Legacy record label this December (2023-12-08).

Pre-orders at Rough Trade, Target, Juno (UK) and many many other Sony retailers.

These are re-pressings not remastering, so the sound should be the same as previous issues. The pressing plant may be different but I doubt you will be able to hear any difference. They very likely will not have the same inner sleeves/booklets as the VinylMePlease editions (which are still intermittently available). All are on black vinyl.

UPC codes, Google these to find local suppliers

Tidal: 194398742410 When the Pawn: 196588302510 Extraordinary Machine: 196588302718 Idler Wheel: 196588302619

#Fiona Apple #Tidal #When the Pawn #Extraordinary Machine #Idler Wheel #these wont be as collectable as first editions #but if you just want a copy to listen to rather than to flip they should be a good option #Vinyl Me Please

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inkblot22 · 24 days

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Idia and the expression of displeasure

Uh, shoutout to that guy who I thought was my friend, asked me if I wanted to hook up despite being over 1000 some-odd miles away, despite me being very openly not that into men and, more importantly, telling him very clearly that I have no interest in dating him specifically. You're so cool for that, man. I just love to feel like an object. The "something about me" is the crippling c-PTSD, anxiety, and possible psychotic illness rotting my brain and your reading of me as a "Creepy Goth Chick", thank you.

Anyway, I hope I was able to direct that shitty man behavior onto our beloved Idia. I did tag you, it's later on and if you'd like me to remove it, I can absolutely do so, just let me know. Also all I can think about is this vine.

Dividers by @/cafekitsune

TW for verbal abuse, manipulation, emotional abuse, captivity, use of a shock collar, mention of physical abuse, Idia is an asshole, abusive relationship dynamics, lack of communication.

Idia is the type of person to believe he is pragmatic, when, in reality, he is rather mercurial. He will fly off the handle at the smallest thing but be completely unbothered by larger issues.

I imagine this could lead to a few problems for his dear, sweet partner. (By the way, I refer to Idia’s darling as his partner because that is what they have rationalized their situation to be, currently: they are Idia's captive partner. Idia doesn’t label them very often, and although he does call them his partner, he definitely sees them as an endearing pest, kind of. Despite them being there because of him, he often acts like they're a mouse or roach that popped up one day and he grew attached to.)

Idia is not the type to like striking or physically harming his partner. He’s the type to get rude and nasty, and play victim. This does not mean he doesn’t ever physically harm his partner.

See, that shock collar around their neck? We have previously established that this is connected to his technomantic energy, and his technomantic energy is connected to his inherent magic ability.

The collar is set up with a warning system. If Idia’s partner does anything he remotely dislikes or any set of pre-established actions that they are not made aware of, they will receive three low-voltage, quick-tap jolts of electricity right against the column of their pretty throat.

These actions include, but are not limited to: acting in any way to harm Ortho or Idia, attempting to harm themselves (this one had to be added after the hanger incident), walking too close to the door or the covered-up window, touching any of Idia’s current or past projects without permission, touching Idia’s gaming setup, ignoring Ortho (this only is put in place if Idia’s partner is hostile towards Ortho at any point, even just once) and refusing any food or drink given to them by Idia specifically. It's important to reiterate that Idia has not told his partner literally any of these rules. Much like the ways that some people train a dog, they have to learn the hard way.

After the three taps, Idia’s emotions and/or intentions dictate how intense the next shock is. Sometimes it’s a bored little zap, like a fourth warning to cut it out before he gets mad, sometimes it’s a rolling pulse that pulls them away from whatever they’re doing, sometimes it’s a tidal wave that literally brings them to their knees and makes them throw up. It really depends on the most annoying kidnapper in the world.

Idia is very aware that holding this person hostage because of his own predilections and perversions is a wildly morally incorrect thing to do, but Idia also doesn’t give a steaming shit. He’s been given what he wants, having grown up as a member of the upper crust, and if he doesn’t get it given to him, he finds a way to get it.

This means that, as much as we all love him, Idia is a whiny pisslord. The second his partner doesn’t do what he wants, he’s grumbling about it, he’s whining, playing victim, getting huffy.

While that might not sound bad, please remember that Idia’s partner has a bunch of exposed wires situated with the intent of shocking them around their neck at all times, and the shock collar is connected to Idia’s emotions. While getting shocked in a more violent manner isn’t very common for them, it can still happen, and therefore it's possibly best to do a little eggshell walking.

Besides that, it’s not very pleasant to be around someone who is so volatile, even if at their most disappointed they just complain for a few hours or days. Having to deal with someone else’s displeasure in life while being more or less unable to discuss your own does not do wonders for your mental health.

Let’s go over some scenarios and the punishments connected to them.

Idia has been playing some online fighting game all day, pretty much ignoring his partner. He hears them move during a cooldown between matches, turns around in his chair, and asks demands that they come over and let him kiss them a little. Of course, Idia’s partner declines. In this situation, Idia would usually get upset and complain about it for a while, name calling included. His words and mood definitely have the vibe of, “How dare you breathe around me and then not let me touch and kiss you. That’s just leading me on, breathing around me.”

Idia’s partner made some cup noodles while Idia was taking a nap after he raged all night and well into the afternoon. He wakes up and sees them sitting in his gaming chair, facing away from his computer and eating. In this situation, Idia would straight up zap them for two reasons. Number one, they didn’t make him anything to eat, and number two, they’re not supposed to be sitting in his chair or at his desk. Anywhere near his computer/anything that could possibly be used to contact someone on the outside without supervision is a huge issue. Keep in mind that he never deigned to share this rather important rule with his partner.

Idia’s partner has a bad day and snaps at Ortho, shoving him away very, very gently. It almost goes without saying; they’re getting zapped to the point of unconsciousness, because Idia panics and then gets mad, in that order and in rapid succession. The emotions blend together for a moment which makes the jolt stronger. This is when the “no ignoring Ortho” rule would be implemented, because they’d better be really nice to Ortho for the next few months before Idia decides he can trust the two of them to interact without his watchful eye. He trusts his little brother, but he doesn’t trust his partner.

In honor of a certain discussion I had with @tht0nesimp (thank you so much, you're very insightful,) Idia’s partner has a meltdown (understandably) and starts throwing things, including a glass of water that was brought to them after they had a bit of a cry in the shower (stay hydrated, everyone.) The glass, still with the water in it, sails across the room and clocks Idia right in his pretty face, ideally breaking his nose. While it’d be understandable to assume that Idia would be mad enough to hit his partner with a jolt of electricity that would bring them to their knees, Idia is sensible enough to understand that this is a display of some form of hysterical emotions that his partner has been bottling up until this point. Therefore, instead of electrocuting his partner, he just starts complaining, more loudly than usual. It is not peculiar for his voice to rise in volume but not in inflection, we hear this in game, but imagine that just a bit louder and more whiny.

“Wow, and here I thought you were an adult. I can’t believe you can’t even control your emotions.”

“My nose hurts. No, don’t apologize. It’s your fault anyway. I don’t even want to know what you’d do if you were really mad.”

“If you want to make it up to me, you could- don’t make that face. Whatever, I knew you weren’t being serious. Whatever. Just ask Ortho to get me an ice pack and go sit somewhere away from me. It's fine. It's fine!”

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12thbiologist · 1 year

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"In the summer of their first year, the biologists established their headquarters in the ruins of a ghost town that had once pretended to be a county seat. The vegetation had taken it back in its suffocating embrace quickly and did not seem inclined to suffer a second defeat. Even after the biologist had taken over, the expedition did not feel comfortable there. The decision to bivouac inland had been made by someone higher up, someone who thought a location on the beach would seem to “flaunt,” as one biologist put it in their diary. (The diary, retrieved, had been gone at by beetles and rot and in the searing shades of green, the watermarks that seemed more like records of tidal patterns, had the look of a found object in an art exhibit. Old Jim had run his hand over the roughness of that faux coastline more than once as he read the faded pencil marks, before he’d thought, almost quaintly, of contamination, and put the journal back.)

Early on, a local from the village bar claimed that he saw a biologist “leap into the air and catch a dragonfly with his teeth,” so delicate this maneuver that the lithe biologist spit the insect unharmed into a glass jar, where it vibrated a confused and blurred emerald. Old Jim labeled that tale apocryphal, but already, almost from the start, the biologists were changing in the eyes of the locals into something uncanny. One day, a local would be walking down a weed-strewn trail on the forgotten coast, glimpse a biologist from the corner of their eye, and not be sure of what they had seen."

excerpt of the 4th area x novel from jeff vandermeer's twitter

#biologists being inherently connected to area x oohh insane. i love u. anyway iirc the 4th novel is a pre-area x thing?#old jim was in the bar when saul started spewing stuff everywhere after all #im pretty sure he released like this exact passage a few years ago but its okay its SO good #southern reach #the southern reach trilogy #southern reach trilogy

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positivevibesonlyyy · 1 year

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Kylian Mbappe - The World At Our Feet

Mbappe x fem reader (fluff)

Wanted to do a one shot of Kylian dating a female French artist... and I really love the phrase a commentator (I think it was Peter Drury) used to describe Kylian as the ‘boy with the world at his feet’, so I used that as inspiration for this one shot. I wrote this quickly on the train yesterday so it’s a bit rushed but please let me know what you think or if you want more. Enjoy!!

You closed your eyes. The plane was about to take off, you had fastened your seatbelt and clutched your pillow, bracing yourself for the sudden acceleration. The feeling of taking off was one of your favourite in the world - it was exhilarating, feeling the plane leave the ground. You opened your eyes once you were in the air, looking outside your window at the clouds. You were exhausted, the past few weeks had been a whirlwind of flights and shows and press. Your career as an artist had taken off in the past year, one single after the other topping the charts. It was so surreal, the past few months felt like a fever dream. Music had been your life since you were a child. Singing and writing songs made you feel alive in a way that nothing else did. For so long, singing and composing and writing music was all you did, all that mattered, developing and experimenting with notes, genres, styles and range. You loved music, but it had been a massive, years long struggle. You spent nearly a decade scrapping by with crappy gigs, going through one record label rejection after another, constant series of missed opportunities..

All that seems so far away now. You had just finished a fully booked out tour through Europe and nothing could have prepared you for what life would be like as a burgeoning pop star. There was a world of difference between your life now and just a few months ago. The fame and success came so suddenly, you didn’t have any time to process any of it. You were swept in a tidal wave of change and still unsure how to handle your new life, your public persona, your exponential growth in followers and fans, the media scrutiny, the lack of privacy, the chaotic schedule, the expectations. Being a public figure had so many demands you failed to anticipate.

When you spoke to Kylian about this a few months ago, he smiled sympathetically.

“I mean this has been my dream for so long, and it’s here and it’s happening and I just wish I didn’t feel so overwhelmed, I wish I could enjoy it more.”

He hummed in response, playing with your hair. “I know chéri. But this is part of the deal. Its a package, isn’t it? This the price and I think it’s a small one. You’re living your dream. What could be better than that? How many people can say that?”

You smiled at him, feeling suddenly envious.

“You can.”

“Oui, I can and I wouldn’t change a thing.” He said earnestly.

You admired how easy it all seemed to be for him. How naturally he managed the attention, how much he loved it, how he thrived in it, how he was driven and motivated by the pressure, instead of overwhelmed by it, how happily he took on challenges. How cheerful and determined he remained in the face of it all. He had always seemed carefree and almost fearless, but until recently you couldn’t fully grasp how remarkable this was.

“I’m lucky I know.” You tell him. “I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. This is everything I wanted and more.”

You two were lying in bed, the night before you left for tour. You head was on his chest, his arm around you. His nose buried in your hair. You felt him smile cheekily against your head and he whispered, “Besides, if all this hadn’t happened, we would never have met and that would have been a shame.”

You chuckled, “That’s true.”

Being with him unlocked a layer of joy and fulfilment in your life that you didn’t know was possible. It had only been a few months, but when you met, it felt like this was it. You both were drawn to each other, wanted to speak to and talk about each other all the time in a way that was so out of proportion with what was appropriate at that stage. You suddenly wanted his take on every single thing in your life, weighty and inconsequential, A too quick attachment brewed, and you thought that was was the tell-tale sign. One night after a stellar PSG match, he came to watch you perform. You saw him in the crowd and locked eyes and neither one of you looked away for the rest of the night. It felt like you were only singing to him, as if the thousands of other people there had just faded into the distance. He clapped and cheered ferociously as you sang, yelling for the crowd to make more noise. When you woke up together the next morning, you curled into him like a baby seal climbing on a sunlit rock. The daylight came in through the shutters and you looked at him asleep in the morning glow and thought that this was the only thing you wanted to do forever.

You were heading back to Paris now, your home and the best city in the world. Kylian had a rare set of holidays, and you had a few days relatively free. You couldn’t wait to see him, it had been months. Your heart literally ached with longing. When the plane finally landed on the tarmac, your were jittery with excitement. You said thank you to the flight crew, to your manager, to the staff that you worked with before promptly getting in a car and heading towards Kylian’s place. It didn’t matter that you had spent something like 18 hours flying and desperately needed a shower. You were going to get to see him. So much had happened in the last few days that you had missed. Kylian was now the captain of the French team. The youngest ever French football captain. You were so happy for him, almost swelling with pride. You had congratulated him over the phone, both of you teary. You couldn’t wait to see him to do it in person too.

You were finally inside his building, you swung the door open and called out “Bonjouuuuurr!! Ky?” You heard his footsteps immediately.

Suddenly he was racing towards you at lightening speed that would have otherwise frightened you. He lifted you off the ground and you wrapped your arms around his neck, legs around his waist. “Ahhhhhhh, Y/N I’m so happy you’re here” he said, “I missed you.”

You clung to him, “I missed you too” you said before pressing your lips against his. It was a slow, gentle kiss, full of deep, mutual yearning. You were both breathing heavily when you pulled apart, “How are you…Captain? ” You asked, before pressing another kiss to his jaw.

He grinned, “happy now that you’re here.”

You gripped your waist and your hands were on his shoulders, you rested your forehead against his. “Congratulations bébé. I’m so… so proud of you” You say sincerely.

“Merci” he whispers, a little shyly.

“How are you? How was the flight, and the last few nights of tour?” He asked, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the living room.

You followed him. “Incredible…Just unbelievable, you know? Like it just felt so unreal, like my life was a movie. It was a lot though. I am exhausted, it was really intense and I missed Paris and my family, and you.”

You hugged him again, needing contact. He was warm and gentle and smelt wonderfully familiar. He rubbed your back and kissed you again.

“I’m glad it went well, and I knew it would. You’re the most talented singer in the world. You amaze me every time I see you perform.”

“Ahh, stop…” you mutter, shyly.

“No, no, seriously, you’re absolutely enchanting to watch on stage.”

“You don’t have to say that”, you blushed, still terrible at accepting compliments.

“I wouldn’t if it weren’t true.” He said seriously, gently massaging your shoulders.

“But I’m glad you’re home now. I’ve been wanting to celebrate everything with you so badly.”

A few hours later, you were both sat on the roof of Kylian’s apartment, after having emptied a bottle of wine. Cuddled up on one seat, with a large shared blanket and each others bodies for warmth, you were watching the city lights. You spent hours talking about what had happened in the last few months you were away. You told him of all the strange, funny, embarrassing moments you had on tour, all the weird fan encounters, all the highlights. Everything you wished he could’ve been there for. He told you about his time at PSG, how he felt he was improving, how proud he was of being the all time goal scorer for the club, how it made him feel worthy of the clubs investment in him, how excited but nervous he was about serving as captain for France, how the loss of the World Cup final still hurt.

You caressed the back of his head as you both waited for midnight so that the Eiffel Tower would start to glimmer, at it always did when the clock hit 12.

“I’m so happy right now.” You said quietly, feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude and love.

“Me too.” He replied. “We have the world at our feet, mon amour.”

______

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