#top!Eren

[pearlhart]

Chapters: 18/? Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Eren Yeager Characters: Levi Ackerman, Levi, Eren Yeager, Zeke Yeager, Reiner Braun, Dot Pixis, Kenny Ackerman, Kuchel Ackerman, Isabel Magnolia, Furlan Church, Porco Galliard, Pieck Finger, Jean Kirstein Additional Tags: Sugar Baby Levi Ackerman, Sugar Daddy Eren Yeager, Dom/sub Undertones, Dubious Consent, Developing Relationship, Emotional Slow Burn, Violent Sex, Gun Violence, Possessive Behavior, Alternate Universe, Top Eren Yeager, Dysfunctional Relationships, Car Chases, Younger Levi Ackerman, (by a small margin), Obsessive Behavior, Recreational Drug Use, Unsafe Sex, Asphyxiation, Alternate universe - Mafia, Consensual Somnophilia, Bottom Levi Ackerman/Top Eren Yeager, Bottom Levi Ackerman, Sadomasochism Summary:

Just out of jail, Levi works at his uncle's gas station where time seeps into an indistinguishable blur of boredom and worsening habits. He can feel himself turn as stagnant as the arid desert around him until one day a black car shatters the monotony. The passenger doesn't bring any type of salvation, but then again, Levi never asked for that.

#ereri #eren x levi #eren yeager #levi ackerman #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction #ereri fanfiction #top eren #bottom levi #bottom!levi #top!eren #my fanfiction #fanfic: homeostasis #a read cw before each chapter type fic

[ca4dy]

I can’t get over the idea of a big, beefy, pure hunk of mussel man getting absolutely destroyed by his little wife/girlfriend! There known to be an absolute monster in the streets. Crushing anyone they get there large, scared hands on in a fight. But in the comfort of your shared bed he’s nothing but a puddle of what he used to be underneath you. Panting whiny pleas, and apologizing over and over as you fuck yourself on his monster dick. Just a moment earlier he was staring down at you with a lopsided grin. “ Aww you think you can top me baby? When you get tired just let daddy know.. I’ll be sure to take care of ya.” Oh if only you had a camera to show everyone his pathetic state. He whined staring up at you with half lidded, teary eyes. Sweat shone on his forehead and chest as he panted, his grip tightened by the second on your waist. He sobbed before releasing a guttural moan. He threw his head back up into the pillows, before spilling his hot load in your dripping sex. You stilled on top of him momentarily relishing in the feeling of fullness. He barely opened his eyes staring up at you silently begging for mercy. You cooed at his shuddering while rolling your hips into his cock. You smiled feeling sickly sweet as you stared him down. You leaned forward slightly beginning to tweak his hardened nipples. “ when you get tired just let mommy know…I’ll be sure to take care of ya.” You quickly straddled him, his shine covered cock slipping inside your stretched cunt again easily. His eyes shot opened as he released a string of curses.

Izuku Midoriya, Touya Todoroki, Gojo Satoru, Hakari Kinji, Tengen Uzui, Inosuke Hashibira, Eren Yeager, Jean Kristien, Denji Hayakawa~

#inosuke x reader #tengen x reader #eren x reader #hakari x reader #touya x reader #denji x reader #jean x reader #izuku x reader #top reader #sub character #dom!reader

[cloudyzeusy]

Puppy boys who are so obsessed with you it's crazy.

They will do anything you ask them to do because that's how much they love you. Even if they don't like it because they want to please you.

They can't bear being a day without you because who else will give them the attention they need. Or brush their hair and press kisses onto their face.

During sex they're so needy for you and love to be put in a mating press needing to feel you right there above them at all times. They beg you to cum needing your validation and permission.

Only getting a bit jealous when they see you surrounded by women so the next time you have sex they mark you up so they back off.

They are a bit erratic and energetic but they mean well and you can't help but love them back.

garfield logan, bachira, naruto, eren, hinata, yuuji, kirishima, reki - your faves <3

#zeusy☁️ #sub character #top male reader #black male reader #seme male reader #blue lock x reader #sk8 reki #eren yeager

[nickgoesinsane]

please that thing you made with eren's titan form - people are cowards for not writing smut bout fucking the titans fr [ please write somethin i beg of you ] something about pulling his hair or something and making out and humans are just watching down as these two titans are just obviously hot and heavy ESPECIALLY IF THEY KNOW THE SUB TITAN IS EREN PLEASE IT'LL BE FUNNY

(goddam—)

Eren’s piercing green eyes glare into yours through a curtain of brown hair, burning with defiance. You’ve been at a stalemate for the past five minutes, neither of you being able to win this round. You huff in frustration, steam flowing from your nostrils, before you get a particularly raunchy idea. You move closer to him, slowly, and thread your fingers through his hair. Eren watches you, curious. 

You tighten your hand into a fist and wretch his head back, leaning down to drag the flat of your tongue over the sharp curve of his jaw. Eren gasps raggedly, his jaws parting, and one of his hands comes up to curl around your elbow. He doesn’t push you away, watching you as his pupils swallow his irises. You grasp his face with your hand, taking advantage of his open mouth, and purse your lips around his tongue.

Eren lets out a choked groan of surprise, and steam rises steadily from his skin as he flushes. You hum, staring into his wide eyes as you suckle on his tongue. His body shudders, a whine rising in his throat, and his ears lower. Inside the nape of his titan, Eren’s face grows redder and redder, his pants growing tight as blood travels to his cock. You’d mentioned something like this before, but he never thought you’d actually go through with it. He moves closer to try to deepen the impromptu kiss, desperate to taste more of you.

On the ground, Jean clears his throat awkwardly, scratching at his scalp, while Connie gags loudly. It’s not loud enough to be heard by two fifteen meter titans, but it gets his point across. Mikasa covers her face in embarrassment, muttering against her palms. 

“That’s gross.” Sasha comments absentmindedly through a mouthful of rice cake. 

“Why the fuck are you all watching those two tongue wrestle?” Their captain’s disgusted voice cuts through their silent shock, startling them. 

“Oh.” Armin’s face grows hot, and he presses the back of his hand against his mouth as he turns away. “That’s, um…” He stammers helplessly, unable to explain the situation. 

Levi rolls his eyes, “You’re all disgusting.” He says accusingly, shaking his head, then promptly walks back inside the building. Everyone else is quick to follow when they hear the wet slide of your tongues, Eren letting out a muffled groan as your hands grab handfuls of his ass to drag him closer.

#╰┈➤ nick answers ! #i'll definitely write more on this later #aot brainrot #dom reader #top reader #sub character #sub eren yeager #eren yeager x reader #eren yeager #sub aot #sub attack on titan #titan shifter reader #titan reader #n/sfw #n/s/f/w

[3smos]

warning: twt links. sub character. very tiny drabble. ruined orgasm. masterbation.

poor armin, always so kind and sweet to you, only for you to never return the treatment :(

he's whimpering, begging for a normal release, yet you just won't let him have it. it's not like he means it either.

he enjoys being dumb and helpless.

...

unlike the blond boy, eren can never take 'no' for an answer.

"no touching yourself without premission", he's sending videos of him jerking off while you're at work, hoping for a punishment.

eren gets really disappointed when you don't anything to him. he wants to be pushed past his limits. when he doesn't gets his way, he turns into a frustrated mess and simply takes care of himself.

...

#dom reader #dom!reader #sub character #top male reader #seme male reader #top reader #aot smut #snk smut #sub aot #sub snk #armin x reader #armin arlert smut #eren jeager smut #eren yeager smut #eren yeager x reader #armin arlert x reader

[magewritesstories]

me: who's the hottest character on attack on titan? my friend: easy, Levi me: wrong my friend: oh you like Eren more? me: wrong again my friend: *confused and hesitant* uuuhmm, Armin maybe? me: *incorrect buzzer sound* me: Wrong! It's Hange Zoe

beautiful, beautiful person look at my baby

#attack on titan #im in love #i fully went into aot expecting to simp over eren or levi #but noooo #HANGE ZOE ON TOP #why are they so pretty? #like?! #my heart can't take this #hange zoe x reader #hange zoe fanart #hange zoe x you #hange zoe x y/n #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #aot fanart #snk official art

[wish-share]

#pink #dream fanart #eren smut #jin #laura lux #tumblr top 5 #dystopia #red hood #retro aesthetic #yuta #lookbook #Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom #ship dynamics #solo #goth model

[b1mb0staars]

Lil bit of a horny thought. But imagine Eren and you are in a committed relationship and he caves and tells you he wants to have a threesome with Armin.

And after Armin agrees, it's the 3 of y'all splayed out on your bed. You laid out on your side with Eren laying behind you and thrusting into you. With Armin fucking into him from the back.

Eren has the widest grin as he listens to both of y'all moans

#i like the idea of eren wanting to get with armin but instead of him being the top he's just a power bottom 👀 #eren jaeger smut #armin arlert smut #eremin #aot fanfiction #aot smut #armin smut #eren smut #someone should write this- #or i could 🤔

[s1ckh1mb0]

Drabble based off of this message from my lovely bf>_<

A bit of toxic eren😵‍💫

Once you received that text you absolutely knew you were fucked. I mean you didn’t do anything wrong in your eyes you were just getting your lick back. Eren was on live entertaining all those other bitches with his wife beater and grey sweats on answering all those little bitches questions while he was on live at Connie’s house. He was practically throwing himself at them in your eyes. So of course you had texted him to get his ass back home or you was gonna act just like him. But he didn’t think you were serious so he just told you to chill and when all he got back was “Bet” he thought that was the end of it. Well damn was he wrong.. once he was the scandalous picture you posted on your insta with FREAK NASTY by Meghan thee Stallion in the background he got heated. He was blowing up your phone which you ignored for a while. But once you answered a argument erupted which led to the messages above^^. He let you know he was on his way home but that message circulated through out your mind and once he stepped in the house you wanted him to act upon what he said.

Sub reader!

“Soo what’s up cause you was talking all that shit in the messages?” You placed your hands on your hips and cocked an eyebrow. He scoffed and went to walk away from you but you grabbed his arm making him face you “You gonna pretend you don’t hear me?”. “Chill with that grabbing shit yo I don’t like that, you was the one flaunting ya self on insta and shit for other mother fuckers to see so go fuck with them.”. “Oh yeah maybe I should they could probably fuck me better than you could anyways”. There was a moment of silence before you were pinned to the wall. Eren had you lifted up with your legs around his waist. “Yeah well lets see who’s name you’re gonna be screaming once I beat ya shit up”

Dom reader!

You stood in front of Eren with your arms crossed across your chest. He cocked his eyebrow at you “What?”. A scoff came from you as you grabbed his belt and dragged him to the couch and pushed him down. Before he could protest you grabbed his face making him gulp “Have you lost your fucking mind hm? You think just cause you out with ya friends that all of a sudden you can talk to me any way you want to?”. He let out a small whine and pressed his thighs together. He loved when you put him in his place like some type of slut. “What don’t got anything to say now huh? You were so quick to run your with in those message though.” A smirk grew on your face as pulled your pants down and pulled his face close to your pussy/dick “Since you like to run ya mouth so fuckin much let’s put that mouth of yours to some good use~”

#Spotify #fanfic #x character #x reader #x black reader #x black male reader #x male reader #x black plus size reader #aot x male reader #eren smut #eren x y/n #eren x male reader #eren x reader #eren jeager smut #smut #top male reader #dom reader #top reader #male top reader #x bottom male reader #x top male reader #x dom male reader #x dom reader #x reader smut

[chrollohearttags]

Do u think Eren would ever do a Hot Ones episode? 😯

I feel like his dumb ass would out of spite, simply because one of his friends said he couldn’t and he’d get upset about it or if (y/n) told him not to do it for health reasons and said she’s worried about his safety. “I’m not pussy, I can handle it.” But then get on them people’s show and be fighting for his life by the third wing. 😭 coughing and hacking, turning red.

#cherry’s asks 🍒 #I’d still pay top dollar to see it though 😭 #aot x black reader #musician eren #musician au #musician x influencer au #eren imagines #eren headcanons #eren jaeger imagines #eren jaeger headcanons

[marcobodtlives]

I binge watched aot all at once and put myself on an internet/fandom ban so I wouldn’t get spoilers.

I find it interesting the dynamics of my thoughts on the show pre-fandom interaction and post-interaction.

Like;

Pre fandom: floch was rlly annoying

Post fandon: I see his story, I get his side, he’s annoying but I understand why. I like his complex relationship with Jean and his devotion to Eren and what Eren represents.

Pre: who’s this Bertholdt dude

Post: I see your story, I feel for you, there’s guilt and regret I felt from seeing your death scene. You were just a kid. You deserved more than this, I wish we saw more of you.

Pre: man what a wholesome show

Post: there were so many hidden romances that ended up being super tragic my heart oh my poor heart -

Pre: dang… what an ending

Post: fuuuuck, what an ✨ending✨

Pre: this is my first anime and it’s pretty good, I’ll probably try more after this!

Post: *crunchyroll subscription bought* I’m going to binge many many many more animes and nobody can stop me now rraaaaaaaaaa

#share your thoughts! #nothing will ever top Reiner and Bertholdt’s reveal #seriously nothing will ever beat that feeling #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #bertholdt hoover #floch forster #aot spoilers #aot thoughts #just my opinion #just thoughts #just my ramblings #jean kirschtein #eren jaeger #or if you wanna be funky: #jean kirstein #eren jeager #eren yeager

[sugutoad]

FOR THE AMAZING @fourtyfourcatss

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ KHUN EDUAN #EXTRAVAGANT : i only love everyone because i love you, hesitate yet desperate, changing one another, extended conversations, lingering touches, you’ve been on my mind girl like a drug, grazing his fingers on your lips before kissing you softly yet desperate, changing each other, running to make out during parties, slow burn, enemies to lovers, his number one priority, sitting in his lap and reading a book, i hate you but I love you, heartfelt promises, it may not be the healthiest relationship but it’s your relationship

#I tried so hard with him #But the wiki barely helped but I managed to wip up something #I was gonna judge u for having him as ur lover but then I remembered my top 2 husbands… both are muderers and Eren literally killed 80% #Of the world #but it’s ok #sazh moonboards #Matchups are still closed #Only mutal exchanges are available at the moment #khun eduan #tower of god #tower of god anime

[natsuki208]

My Top 5 Fav AOT Characters by Gender!

(I don’t remember if I did this list before, but I’ll do it again anyway)

💙 Jean Kirstein 💙 Marco Bodt 💙 Bertholdt Hoover 💙 Eren Jaeger (S1-3) 💙 Miche Zacharias

-

💜 Hange Zoe 💜 Sasha Braus 💜 Ymir (freckles) 💜 Mikasa Ackerman 💜 Historia Reiss

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #jean kirstein #marco bodt #bertholdt hoover #eren jaeger #miche zacharias #hange zoe #sasha braus #ymir aot #mikasa ackerman #historia reiss #top 5 list #favourite characters

[aengelren]

Season 3 was prime Eren

#looks like an absolute angel #he’s really so pretty #Eren’s prime lasted from The first episode to the last #cuz he’s always on top #eren jaeger #attack on titan #eren #shingeki no kyojin #aot #eren yeager #anime

[klm-zoflorr]

The Marleyans part 8: Los Angeles, The Making-Off

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha: I'm cold

Connie: Here have my jacket

Historia: I'm cold too

Ymir: What? [taking off jacket] I told you to bring more layers but of course you didn’t listen and now- [piling blankets on her] now look, I’ve got to make sure you don’t FREEZE to death and [taking Mikasa's scarf] how long have you been cold? You should’ve said something sooner.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Armin: I'm cold

Annie: Well what the heck do you want me to do? I don't control the goddam weather!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner, looking at Bertholt: Hey, I'm cold t-

Bertholt : Look we both know we forgot our jackets at camp, don't even try.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: *scooting up on the same bench as Eren and cuddling against him* I'm cold too, Eren

Eren: Don't worry about it *goes to collect some wood, starts a bonfire and then finally sits down, on another bench than Mikasa*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: I'm cold.

Levi: And what do you want me to do? Set you on fire?

Hange: Ye-

Levi: Nevermind. Forget I said anything.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi: What do we do when something goes wrong...?

Jean: Add to cart

Reiner: Cry

Gabi: Mood

Pieck: F in the chat

Armin: Not again!

Historia: Text my ex

Mikasa: Cut my hair

Connie: Shots!!

Falco: Thank you

Hange: Hoes mad

Annie: It's my horoscope

Commander Magath: Bottle it up

Zeke: Leave the country

Eren: Fistfight God

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: I love the phrase "with all due respect", because it doesn't specify how much respect is actually due. Could be none. Bitch.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Marcel: Hey, it's your turn to wash the dishes.

Porco: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD.

Marcel: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia, struggling to keep upright in her 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me

Mikasa, pointing at her and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels while carrying Eren with her other arm: WEAK.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Zeke, holding a magnifying glass: Scientifically experimented on without consent and disposed off as soon as I am no longer useful.

Pieck: No.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*The squad is having dinner together*

Historia: Mikasa, can you pass the salt?

Mikasa: *Throws Levi across the table*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Eren: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Mikasa: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING ARMIN WITH ME

Levi, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: Tonight, one of you will betray us.

Gabi: Is it me, Commander?

Commander Magath: No, it’s not you.

Annie: Is it me, Commander?

Commander Magath: It’s not you either.

Zeke: Is it me, Commander?

Commander Magath:

Commander Magath, mockingly: Is IT mE cOmmAndEr?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: Can I be frank with you guys?

Gabi: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Zofia: Can I still be Zofia?

Falco: Shh, let Commander Frank speak.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Falco: SaSa LeLe

Reiner: It's Sale Sale

Gabi: 50% off + 50% off, it means it's 100% off, everything is free

Annie: You moron, 50% of 50% is 25% off

Commander Magath: Could you all PLEASE focus and not get distracted by a shop with a sign? Where's the guy we're tailing?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie, laying on her bed: I've heard people say my name twice today, it's either ghosts or hallucinations

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner, from behind the door: It's me outside. Do you want some muffins?

Annie: What kind?

Reiner: Zucchini, but it tastes like banana nut

Banannie: Bananas can nut?

Reiner: You know what? I'll keep my muffins.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck : Why does basil smell so fucking amazing?!

Zeke: Watch out for the brain scorpions though

Falco: It's the basil

Gabi: Yeah, can confirm, it's the basil that does it.

Pieck: Good points

Pieck: Wait what was that first thing?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: *Holding a picture of Pieck* Have you seen this woman?

Hange: No, why? Is she missing?

Zeke: She's on vacation and I miss her

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha, fighting Gabi: You know, out of all the children I've ever had fights to the death with, this is the weirdest one

Reiner: Dammit, Gabi, I told you the cat ears weren't hype anymore!

Sasha: These baddies getting weirder and weirder

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mr. Leonhart: Annie's at that very special age where a girl has only one thing on her mind

Commander Magath: Boys?

Annie: Homicide.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Moblit: Pro-tip: Keep a bunch of wrapped, empty boxes under the christmas tree. When a child misbehaves, throw one in the fireplace.

Hange: ...

Hange: What do I do when I run out of children?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: *sticking a paper that reads "naughty and disobedient children DO NOT FEED" on Falco and Gabi*

Zeke: If those kids could read they'd be very upset

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: *points at his shirt that reads "i rely on pharmaceutical drugs to perform routine tasks"*

Reiner: *turns around, showing the back that reads "and then i don't do them"*

Porco: Oh, is it "cry for help" time yet?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: What should I get from ihop?

Bertholt: Pancake mix

Annie: Sucked off

Porco: Killed

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: I really want to kiss you

Pieck: What?

Zeke: i SAID if you died i wouldn't miss you

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: Oh come on Armin, I wasn't that drunk

Armin: Eren, you tried to color my face with a highlighter because you said I was important

Eren, tearing up: But you are

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Falco, lowering his voice in an intimidating manner: Don't talk down to me!

Colt: Well, I can hardly talk up to you. You're too short.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Porco: *finishing remplacing Reiner's condiments with toothpaste* Don't tell Reiner about this?

Gabi: You want me to lie to Reiner?

Porco: Is that a problem?

Gabi: No.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha: I have a bad feeling about this

Gabi: What do you mean?

Sasha: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if something is going to get you in trouble?

Gabi: No?

Sasha: That... Explains so much actually

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi, bleeding out: Call me an ambulance.

Falco, leaning over her, panicking: You're an ambulance??!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: Okay, okay, uh, you're losing a lot of blood, what's your type?

Gabi: Oh anything really but nerds especially

Reiner: YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Gabi: *looks down* Uh. Red?

Falco: B positive

Reiner: LOOK I'M TRYING BUT SHE'S LITERALLY ABOUT TO DIE

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: *waking up in an unfamiliar bed* I love sleepovers

Porco: This isn't a sleepover, you're in the hospital

Gabi: Then why am I wearing this nightgown?

Porco: This is an hospital gown?

Gabi: Truth or dare?

Porco:

Porco: ...Dare

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: What happened?

Pieck: You were shot. Do you remember anything?

Gabi: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Falco: We didn't ride the ambulance

Gabi: Really? Then what was that loud siren?

Reiner: I was panicking, okay!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: Don't worry, I'll be fine.

Reiner: Well you still were shot!!

Gabi: I've been shot before.

Reiner: It's not like you build up an immunity to bullets!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: You got three eggs

Annie: Yes

Reiner: I'll give you a cookie for them

Annie: Mmh. How good is the cookie?

Reiner: Well I don't know. I need the eggs to make the cookie

Annie: So you tricking me?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke, to Eren: I'm trying to figure out a way to get rid of you so I can go commit atrocities

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: Why is there always a law against everything I wanna do?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: Hey Zeke, you know Marcel's throwing a party on the night of the new railroad inauguration

Zeke: Yeah, I've been arguing with Porco about this.

Pieck: Oh, he wants to go to the inauguration?

Zeke: No! Why would he want to-

Pieck: Oh sorry, YOU want to go to the inauguration?

Zeke: No! We've been arguing over who gets to go to Marcel's party with you

Pieck: Can't the three of us just go together?

Zeke: ... Good point

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: *squishes Gabi's face between two slices of bread* And what are you?

Gabi: An idiot sandwich :(

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: I'm definitely the disappointment of the family but also the hottest so i can see why i got them pressed

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Ymir: I'm allergic to color.

Historia: Sounds like a "hue" problem

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: We’ve got to find a way to cut down on expenses inside those walls. What can we live without?

Levi: Probably Eren Yaeger

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Armin: Flirt back goddamit

Annie: HOW

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: They're called leggings because u put ur le

Historia: U put ur leg

Historia: They're called leggings because

Connie: Take your time

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: If only I were kpop. Then you'd all see.

Colt: You're already popular and widely hated. What more do you want??

Zeke: Thanks for saying that

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia, crouched down in front of her plants, examining insect bites on the leaves: I’m going to kill whoever did this. I’m going to kill them for you. Don’t worry babies. I’m going to murder every single contemptible degenerate that ever got a mouthful of you. They’ll die screaming

Ymir, walking out of the house: Oh! Okay. You’re talking to the plants. Okay-

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jean: Why did you go to sleep so late?

Mikasa, looking into the distance: There is no rest for the wicked

Jean:

Mikasa:

Historia: Cat videos. She stayed up to watch cat videos.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: Could you be any more annoying... Lol

Sasha: Easily.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: I love it when you're drinking pineapple drinks and you can't feel your tongue and your entire face starts sweating, it's so cleansing.

Porco: Sounds like you're allergic to pineapples.

Gabi: Pineapples are supposed to taste like that.

Porco: Pretty sure you're allergic too.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

King Fritz: Bro stop chanting in dead languages you're scaring the hoes

Ymir Fritz: I'm summoning the hoes fool

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: Long time no see, Galliard. I missed you.

Porco: I missed you too

*Both reload their pistols*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: I've got a nice little word exercise for you: GET TO THE FUCKING POINT.

Sasha: Tempting, but have you considered this little affirmation; No?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner:

Gabi to the McDonalds employee: He asked for no pickles!! Takes the pickles off or I'll make jello out of all your bones!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Ymir: I went to gay loser land and they said you're like a god to them

Reiner: Why did you go there?

Ymir: Anthropology

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: Hello, people who do not live here!

Pieck: Hi!

Porco: Hello!

Reiner: I gave you a key for emergencies

Pieck: We were out of doritos

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: You know where I want to kiss you??

Zeke: On the lips?

Pieck: No.

Zeke: Neck?

Pieck: No.

Zeke: ██ █████🔞█████?

Pieck: No.

Zeke: Then where?

Pieck: In front of all our friends and family when we both say "I do"

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: Wait, is Captain Levi sleeping or dead?

Jean: Hopefully dead, I hated his guts.

Eren: Yeah, so did I.

Levi: Okay first of all, fuck you two-

Eren and Jean:

𓀥    𓁆 𓀕

𓁆 𓀟   𓀣 𓁀

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Hange is cooking*

Levi: That's... An unusual sight. Since when do you cook?

Hange: This is for Erwin. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need him on my side.

Levi: I never quite realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Right before the battle of Liberio*

Sasha: So you remember the plan if I ever get hurt during this battle, right?

Connie: Of course.

Sasha: Tell me.

Connie: In the case of you ever being shot, as you fall to the ground, I am to sing, "MMMM WHATCHA SAY" no matter the circumstances.

Sasha: Good.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: So, guy's old lady comes home, okay, finds him laid cold on the ground with half his head missing

Mikasa: Well, that sounds like there's a titan on the loose.

Hange: Maybe.

Mikasa: So, how does that make this our kind of thing?

Hange: Because, Mikasa, Eren's in the wind, okay, you're sulking around like a ennuch in a whorehouse, and I can't help but ask myself, when is decapitation not my thing?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: rats are like... the rats of the world

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: Gee, Zeke. I thought that someone with two wives would be happy.

Porco: Nah, you're thinking of someone with two knives

Gabi: *holding two knives*

Gabi: I gotta tell you, this is pretty terrific!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen!

Reiner: Really? Name one law

Zeke: Don't kill people?

Reiner: That's on me. I set the bar too low.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: In light of what you did for me, you may hug me for four to five seconds.

Historia: FORTY-FIVE SECONDS?!

Annie: NO! That's not what I-

Historia, running at her: Too late!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: *wearing a shirt that says "you are not immune to propaganda"*

Falco: *carrying a baseball bat labelled "propaganda"*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: here’s a concept: me, riding your ceiling fan like a gargoyle. you, smacking me with a broom. both of us are yelling

Levi:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connie: "i can fix him" "i can make him worse" im at the gas station yall want anything

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Armin: Admit that you made that whole story up!

Reiner: No!

Armin: You started that fight!

Reiner: You callin’ me a liar?

Armin: No but I ain't callin’ you a truther either!

Mikasa: Armin, stop being a coward. Call him a bitch to his face.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia, throwing her head into Ymir's lap: Tell me I’m pretty.

Ymir, lovingly stroking her hair: You’re pretty annoying, that’s what you are.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: I like my coffee the same way I like my men

Mikasa: Dark, bitter, and too hot for me

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: WHY IS THERE BLOOD EVERYWHERE?!

Zeke: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife

Reiner: You stabbed someone??

Zeke: No, I just fucking said that I aggressively poked someone with a knife. There's a difference, Reiner!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha, giving a talk at her 367th "how to woo Historia Reiss" talk of the year: Just be yourself. Say something nice.

Ymir: Which one?! I can't do both!

Reiner: Is "I would betray my country for you" considered nice or too foward?

Eren: Try "Daaaaamn girl you looked hot when you were murdering your hideous centipede titan of a father" instead

Sasha, sternly: Eren. I don't want to do it but I'm going to ban you from the lessons if you keep that attitude going.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: *getting stabbed*

Eren, walking away: This is mine now

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: Wow, you really are the smartest person I know!

Mikasa: You hang out with Sasha and Connie

Mikasa: It's not as high a compliment as you think

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Armin and Hange got kidnapped*

Hange: *Removing her handcuffs* You're lucky that I know how to get out of these.

Armin: Yeah, thank God you've been arrested enough times.

Hange: Hmm. Sure. Arrested.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: You know, when Pieck comes over, Zeke can get a little...

Annie: Psycho?

Colt: Scary?

Bertholt: Drunk?

Reiner: All three, actually

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*At a dinner party in Historia's palace but someone has just been murdered*

Detective Historia, to Hange: You're acting pretty carefree for someone whose life has just been threatened. Who's to say you're not the murderer?

Hange: It's a murder, not a tax audit. I'll be fine.

Reiner: What about Pieck? Nobody ever suspects Pieck!

Pieck: Well what about Sasha? She has a gun!

Sasha: And Connie has a knife!

Connie: Yeah, for fun, not murder! *stabs Reiner in the arm*

*Everybody screams*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: Okay, so I think that was pretty clear in establishing we're all wussies and none of us did it

Detective Historia, taking a puff out of her pipe: Elementary, my dear Watson

Pieck: What?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Note that the "what should i get from the store" quote is, in fact, NOT the same one as in part 6. Neither is the gaz station one. I don't make mistakes, feeble mortals.

Find more of these here ! Also here's one of the incorrect quotes because it was particularly funny

#aot #attack on titan #ymirhisu #jikupiku #reiner braun #gabi braun #sasha blouse #connie springer #eren yaeger #zeke yaeger #pieck finger #porco galliard #klm-zoflorr #top tag #aot incorrect quotes #snk #shingeki no kyojin #historia reiss #annie leonhardt #armin arlert #mikasa ackerman #levi ackerman

[peacefulharu]

i dunno if its just me, but jk fandom kinda have less crack fics than i expected.

like, yeah, i love fluff, and those intense angsty after-war fics. but damn, crack fics are food for my soul lol

#i once read a very old jk doujin where armin+ eren ventured outside the wall after they eliminate the titans #and jean decided to propose to mikasa right after #kinda expecting to be rejected #but mikasa agreed #but she said jean gonna be her bride #and everyone were liekk ??? wadyoumean?? do you know how marriage work??? #but jean is obviously ecstatic + confused a bit why he's the bride?? when he's the one with the dick here #when they explain it to mikasa #mikasa wrote a letter to eremin to search for some meds outside the wall that can make her grow some dick #eremin reading the letter with surprised pikachu face #i cudnt stop laughingggg #we need this kinda crackkkk #also this is the birth of my top!mikasa bottom! jean kink #dont fight.me.on.thissss #jeankasa