#totally not based off of someone I know irl

[ceilidho]

Ceilidh, I keep thinking about soap and ghost who are absolutely pro omega rights (soap in particular, or at least he’s more vocal about it). Like fuck those old, conservative assholes who think omegas should be seen and not heard, whose only purpose is to lie back, listen to their alpha and take a damn knot when they’re told.

They’ve both worked with omegas that got shit done – civilians AND military operatives, they know better and they’ll damn well shut anyone up who starts spouting that regressive shit.

But their own omega, well that’s a different story. Poor little thing doesn’t know what’s good for her, best if she gets rid of all those silly notions of hers and just let ghost and soap take care of her like they’re s’posed to.

ok in total honesty you almost lost me in the first half because as much as i would love that irl, it doesn't interest me so much in fiction where i want them to be deranged freaks. but you GOT me in that last paragraph.

neither being particularly activistic, but they also don't indulge in the casual omega denigration that some of their colleagues participate in. if an alpha says something shitty while Soap is around, Soap will usually snap back something about how maybe the alpha saying it should take notes from the omega civilian and military operators on base because "at least they're actually proficient at their fucking jobs". he'll genuinely get in fights when his temper flares up just enough - loves sparring when he's taken a particular dislike to someone because it means he has permission to beat the shit out of them.

Ghost doesn't have the patience for verbal fights, but he'll request an immediate transfer of any alpha sergeant or private with the misfortune of thinking that someone of Ghost's stature and size and general look would agree with their primitive beliefs. or he'll riddle them with hard labour and assignments that'll leave them exhausted and broken.

but when it comes to their omega? oh no, she's kept off base in the house they've purchased. they even contemplate retirement after finding her, neither of them comfortable with being away from their omega for extended periods of time. she's taken off her suppressants the second they get her locked up, the two of them helping her work through the withdrawals, getting her nice and relaxed on their knots.

despite the fact that the two of them are alphas, Soap always defers to Ghost, so Ghost is the one that knots her first. Soap gets to work her through the worst of her heats though, stamina letting him go for hours, overstimulating the both of them to the point of pain.

poor girl probably had a job and friends and maybe even volunteered before those two brutes stole her from whatever former life she was living. Soap is so enamoured with her temper tantrums, the way she demands they let her go. pinches her cheeks and coos when she gets worked up to the point of tears. she doesn't understand how they can have so much respect for the omegas in their field while keeping her locked up in their house, but the cognitive dissonance just works for them. their omega is just too soft and breakable to be out in the world (regardless of how tall she is or how she's built, how muscled or tough. to them, she's breakable)

i love writing them as hypocritical assholes :\\\\

#ceil writing #cod x reader #cod mw2 #simon ghost riley #soap x reader #cod simon riley #ghost x reader #ghost/reader #ghost cod #soap mactavish #ghost/soap/reader #ghoap x reader

[princncess]

Yay pinned post with limits and stuff time~ may change this later if I remember more stuff

19, she/it, bi les, cat object corpse girl

Feel free to dm or send asks about literally whatever! I love interacting and I promise a random dm won't bother me whether you're sending death/rape threats, asking about a kink I haven't listed, or just saying hi!

Into (within fantasy, my irl limits differ but none of you know me irl so that doesn't really matter): CNC*, many kinds of masochism, being snuffed, gore (basically no form of bodily harm is off limits unless elsewhere specified), somno, kidnapping/captivity (short or long term), breathplay, too big insertion, despair/sad stuff, bondage, degradation, musk, temperature (incl. fire), starvation, electrocution, war stuff, knives and guns (both as threats and actually used), abuse/trauma stuff, manipulation, empty spaces, fear, stalking, home invasion, objectification, death/rape threats in my asks, drugging, most titles, [not sure how to describe this one, but like... exertion/exhaustion play? like making me run for a long time or hold something up for hours]

A little bit into (restrictions specified): emeto (the fluid itself isn't anything to me, but getting it out is nice in some situations), petplay (not really as an animal, but more the ownership/inferiority feeling), non cnc stuff (I don't dislike it, but it's just not as fun as cnc. Whatever the non cnc idea is, it better be really good) piss (it's good, just not as the main course- good for degradation)

Not into: Scat, ageplay/abdl, incest, mommy kink/title (I'm ok with calling someone daddy tho), appearance based degradation, raceplay, feet, detrans/misgendering, chastity

*In character, I will not "actually like it deep down" or anything like that. Feel free to accuse me of it, but it won't be true. I prefer to hate it the whole way through, only despair for me. That said, forced pleasure/orgasms are nice. Also, you can totally force me to pretend to enjoy it.

I won't send you pictures, but feel free to send them to me

DNI: bigots of any kind, minors, anyone who shits their pants over confusing identities, anyone who shits their pants over kink

Feel free to interact no matter what gender you are, sometimes I reblog stuff that has "men dni" banners attached but those don't come from me, idk how to take them off

Feel free to interact if you have kinks I don't like

Since everyone keeps asking, I put sex and violence tags on everything I post, since usually that’s what it is. No need to be upset with staff about it if it’s my post

everything on this blog is fantasy between consenting adults

[alornights]

HIII ORA!!!!!!!! EEEPP (first off that's such a cool name whatttt)) saw ur requests were open and was wondering if i could ask for a oneshot with toolshed?? one where him and the reader are really close irl but they hate eachother in their superhero fits or whatever because stan dosen't know she's like ... her super hero self?? (if that makes any sense)

you can pick a name for it or whatever, just that the reader uses a bow and arrow/ does archery lmaoooo

SRRY IF THIS MAKES NO SENSEEE

🏹 - anon ^^

⟢ better than you.

➜ in which ! you and stan have a fight over who's the better hero.

💌 ﹫toolshed aka, stan marsh.

✩ 🎸 warnings﹗death threats.

🍓 ⟡ notes — im still getting used to this so i hope this is good! and THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENT OMG i lava u <3

Everyone knew you and Stan were inseparable.

Two peas in a pod, you'd never find one without the other. No one knows when or how you two met, just randomly some day you two were talking like you had known each other your entire life.

So when one day you and Stan were glaring at each other like your lives depended on it no one felt even remotely comfortable that day.

And the reason you fought... well...

"Ew." You stared at him in shock as he continued, "Hero Name is the worst hero in the Freedom Pals. She thinks she's so high and mighty because she can do archery and thinks everyone's madly in love with her. She's not even all that."

"She is all that!" You protested slamming your fist to the table, "She's like so hot and do you not realize the entire school except you has or had a crush on her at some point. And she is high and mighty."

He groaned rolling his eyes, "Then everyone in the school is stupid and needs to get their eyes checked. She is not all that."

"Take that back." You warned glaring at him.

"It's true, I'm not taking shit back."

"Then who's your favorite hero since you think she's so ass, huh?"

He grinned, "Obviously, the best hero, Toolshed." You gasped giving him a face of disgust, "Bro, Toolshed is absolutely mid. He looks and sounds like a total loser even that berry hero is better than him."

"You don't know what you're talking about sweetheart." Stan waved you off as you gapped at him.

"Stanley, you sound so dumb and naive. Toolshed is so boring, Hero Name is just so much cooler and hotter, and sexier, and ten times better than that disgusting thing."

"THING?" Stan yelled as you nodded looking away from him. "How dare you! If anyone's a thing it'd be that disgusting ugly bitch."

"SHE IS NOT DISGUSTING, YOU'RE DISGUSTING."

"AM NOT."

"ARE TOO YOU-"

He put a hand to your face as you slapped it away. "I don't want to speak with you, I don't want

"Fine!" You yelled picking up your bag ready to leave. "Until you admit Hero Name is better, I will not associate myself with you."

"Good, I don't want to associate myself with someone who thinks Toolshed is a loser. Goodbye for good you ass." Stan yelled walking away as you did the same.

How dare he.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"You will not believe what happened today." You groaned walking down to the Freedom Pal's base as everyone turned to look at you.

"What? You embarrassed yourself in front of everyone in South Park and now everyone thinks you're an embarrassment? Sounds like a good day if you ask me." Toolshed grinned with a wink.

"Hey, you remember when I shot an arrow into your eye?" You remarked as Toolshed paused, "We can make that happen again."

"Calm down you two. Hero Name continues what you were going to say." Dr. Timothy voiced giving us a warning look.

You sighed flopping down on one of the open couches, "Bro I got into a fight with the one dearest to me because their stupid ass Toolshed over there was better than me! Can you believe that?"

"What?"

You groaned. "He went 'Oooh, Hero Name sucks ass Toolshed is sooo much more better and Hero Name is not hot and sexy'. Like can you believe that?"

"That happened to me too! I can't believe you're ruining friendships like that because you exist." Toolshed shouted as I gasped.

"I AM NOT- you literally make me want to stab myself in the heart with one of my own arrows." You remarked as he flipped you off.

"I bet you've started hate clubs for me in your civilian forms since you seem so jealous of me." Toolshed boasted crossing his arms.

Mysterion groaned banging his head against the wall. "Make it end."

"I am not jealous of you- you're jealous of me! You even made my friends betray me because they love you. If anything you're starting a cult against me."

"AM NOT."

"ARE TOO-"

"When do you think they're going to find out? I say by the end of the year." Kite murmured to Call Girl.

"20 dollars by the end of this month." She responded as the two shook hands a silent agreement formed.

"They need to get a room, it is getting sooo steamy in here."

"SHUT UP CARTMAN!"

#south park x reader #stan marsh x reader #toolshed x reader

[sclfmastery]

Quickfire hot take but, even though I totally grasp each of us having favorite regens of the doctor and the master, both individually and together, as symbols of their ever-evolving positions along their personal and relationship journey.... I will never ever understand fan (or canon...) portrayals that draw such a sharp line of favoritism from the characters themselves.

Missy said "they're all the Doctor to me" when recalling a memory to Clara, and to me that encapsulates the enduring nature of their intense bond. To me that is THE line. Regeneration is a form of death and rebirth, but certain core traits are immutable, particularly to two people who are narrative foils, who have known each other for centuries (or possibly millennia) and keep being thrown together by fate again and again and again.

Bottom line is, every Doctor is the same person, and so is every Master. Acting as though one of them only cares for select versions of the other is just so strange to me. They aren't us. To them, it's just like loving (or hating, or both) someone through the eras of their life. Their same life, broken down into stages od evolution and devolution. It's the same person.

I can point to the exact episode (a lol very polarizing episode in Series 10) where I think this "they're not the same person from face to face" trend got exponentially more pronounced, but anyone who knows me knows what that episode is. I truly believe it's a disservice to every version of every Doctor and Master involved.

And I really don't think that Spydoc, which came soon thereafter, is just the playing-out of the consequences of a MASSIVE miscommunication between soul mates. It IS that, but not JUST. I think all of the writing about Thoschei that followed the exacerbating episode was trying to force this inaccurate distortion, this illusion of separateness, which is part of what made the events in Power of the Doctor so painful to Thoschei fans. The Doctor walked away from the Master (literally and figuratively, ironically inviting his inevitable despair--and her own demise) partly out of understandable hurt and rage and caution, but also out of a cold, repulsed misunderstanding: "Missy was willing to change and you regressed, you're a different person than she was, and you have angered me to the point of indifference; I am able to turn off caring about you because you are unrecognizable from her, the version of you that I could control save."

Maybe Whittaker's response is intended by Chibnall: we're supposed to recognize that she's wrong but HAS to be in order to survive another betrayal by the Master, which is what makes it all so tragic.

But I think fan reception has taken the whole thing ( "each Doctor and each Master is an entirely discrete self-contained being") too far, and it bothers me, so much, I think, because it's a trope that enforces the idea that love is transactional and contingent (in such a way that also perhaps unwittingly targets the socially, culturally, and economically marginalized). If you're the "good, small, manageable version" of yourself, then you're easier to love, and it's worth the investment. Otherwise, "you gambled and you lost," and you deserve to die lying in the filth of your own poor decisions. I get why that's an appealing, vindicting plot device, from the POV of an audience member who has felt hurt or even abused IRL. I understand it, I've BEEN the Doctor many times. It just doesn't sit well with me. Maybe that's just me. I could be at peace with that, as a Whovian :P.

But, in-universe, it's based on a premise that's factually erroneous! Dhawan's Master IS Missy IS Delgado IS Simm IS Jacobi IS Ainley IS Roberts IS Beevers etc etc etc. Just as Whittaker's Doctor is a RESPONSE to Capaldi's, but ALSO still IS Capaldi's. And Tennant's. And Baker's (x2). And Eccleston's. And Gatwa's. And Pertwee's. Etc etc. Dhawan's Master was the Prime Minister of the UK and also made chairs that eat people and also cried remembering the names of people she killed. It's the SAME PERSON.

Lol, not quickfire at all. It's an old bone to pick, I know. I just can't stop finding the whole trope...very itchy.

(ok to reblog...dunno if anyone would, LOL, but feel free to reblog and to comment).

I'm gonna tag some ppl I know I've chatted about this with before to see if there are new insights. And feel completely free to disagree with me on any count. @natalunasans @mostincrediblechange @drummingncise @modernwizard @nickcagestrufflehog @rearranging-deck-chairs @koschei-no-more @likeacharacterinamusical

#meta #thoschei meta #or just kinda me yelling lol)

[genderqueerdykes]

Im nonbinary and i feel ashamed of being amab.

Even ignoring dysphoria, the expectations of being a guy as well as being too scared to...well do anything that might affirm me is really getting to me, especially as it feels like afab nonbinary people are far more common and im left feeling isolated (made even worse by any gender envy i get only coming from them so i feel like i never will be happy with my gender because of my agab).

how do i deal with this?

hello there! Thanks for taking the time to stop by!

i wanted to say from the bottom of my heart that i am sorry that people have made you feel this way, because it's not just you having those feelings. people have made it difficult for amab nonbinary people to have a voice and a place to speak for themselves due to a lot of bullshit. i understand feeling isolated, it's hard to network with other people like yourself when you constantly feel pushed out of every space you try to occupy

the fact that a lot of people think that being nonbinary is just a thing that afab people do or a "weird girl thing" is frustrating, it sucks because you really do encounter it. it's not true though- given the absolutely massive amount of amab nonbinary people i've met both online and in person, it's not that amab nonbinary people don't exist, it's just that no one will give you room to speak and that is bullshit

i would recommend trying to see if there are any transfem support groups in your area as that would probably be the highest concentration of people who are the likeliest to understand your situation. you can also look out for nonbinary support groups, but i totally understand your apprehension. it helps to try to start with people who are the most likely to get you. i would honestly also recommend just taking up space in whatever queer communities you find if you can. it's hard, but you do deserve a chance to take up that space and it may help someone else feel less alone in the process

you are just as nonbinary as any person of any other agab. your agab is your dearest secret and nobody has the right to exile you from any queer spaces based off of that. your agab means nothing about your intentions, personality, or anything- your agab is just some organs and reproductive health systems. whether or not you have that body from birth or because of hormones and surgery is nobody's business

you have the right to talk about the nonbinary experience and how unique it is to your agab, especially. remind yourself that anyone outside of that experience doesn't know what it's like. i don't know what it's like, because i'm not amab. those people are not the expert on what it's like to live this life. you are. let yourself be that expert. let yourself be judge

there are a million ways to be trans and no agab owns nonbinaryhood. common public conceptions of identities and concepts are often heavily biased and skewed. in time as we see folks become braver, people will begin to understand that amab people are just as likely to identify as nonbinary as anyone else. trust me, i have met so many. you are not alone by any stretch of the imagination

you are also welcome to join my discord server, if you're not already in it! it's not a solution to having irl community, but having an online support group can help a lot!

there's no reason to be ashamed, you are a beautiful individual with an identity that is just as incredible. i hope your shame can turn to pride, you have an experience that is worth blessing the world with. take care of yourself for now. do the best you can to remind yourself that you are defining the trans experience just by existing. other people can talk shit all they want, but you know who you are. keep your chin up, you're awesome. have a great week

#asks #answers #nonbinary #enby #amab nonbinary #amab enby

[butch-reidentified]

hi. i saw some of your posts where you mention being a psychopath (or having psychopathic tendencies, i’m not sure what the correct terminology is) and i’m curious. i know someone being a psychopath doesn’t inherently make them evil or bad, but i’ve never known anyone, irl or online who was one. i have some questions.

1. what is the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath?

2. what makes someone a psychopath? are they born like that?

3. is being a pyschopath something you are diagnosed with? how do you know you are one?

4. you’ve mentioned on here that you have a wife. do you feel love? what does love mean to you?

i’m sorry if any of this is too personal. i don’t mean this to be rude, i’m just curious. i have done some research on this before but i’d like to hear what an actual psychopath has to say about it.

hi anon! don't be sorry - the whole point of me posting about it (which I honestly did not think would go this well lmao) is to educate and counter the absolutely rampant misinformation out there. this site is a pretty good resource working with actual researchers and clinicians. where I disagree with them is the classification of psychopathy as a mental disorder.

as I said in that post, I think it's a natural variation within the population that serves its own purpose.

the term itself is somewhat controversial for multiple reasons. one is the obvious: it's highly stigmatized and media representation is utterly absurd cartoon villain type shit. this does not bother me, but I have heard other people say it bothers them. regardless, I think it's a really interesting topic, which is why I want to talk about it and engage with others. the second reason the term is a bit complicated is this: outside of the actual field, barely anyone knows what it means or how it compares to "sociopath" or to the ASPD diagnosis. Psychopathy and ASPD are commonly believed to be the same; this is a misconception based on outdated information - the website I linked discusses this a bit.

1. sociopath isn't a clinical term. it means whatever the person using it wants it to mean. psychopathy on the other hand is a clinical term (but not a diagnosis!) which refers to a specific set of personality traits. Psychopathy is very much a spectrum. sort of in the way autism is, in that some people are very high in 1 psychopathic trait and low in others, another person might be high in a different 1 or 2 traits, etc. I am much higher on boldness than disinhibition, for instance, where my wife is the opposite.

2. this is a veeery debated topic. some people use the categorization of primary (born with it) vs secondary (comes from extreme abuse/trauma/etc) psychopathy. I'm not sure how much I believe in the second one, but I haven't written it off necessarily. I have had distinctively psychopathic traits my entire life. these traits have shifted and changed as I've grown, but only to such a degree, just as anyone's core personality traits do throughout growing up and all of life. The site I linked above has a page on this that is a much better take than that primary/secondary shit.

3. as I said above, no, it's not a diagnosis. and in my view, it's just a way to quickly describe people at one end of the spectrum of human emotionality/empathy/interpersonal relating. in cases like mine, it's pretty obvious to anyone I'm totally open and honest with. I'll give a couple examples.

I don't feel fear - like, at all, not even in life or death situations. I do not remember a time I have felt genuine fear as an emotion. I have felt adrenaline (though my threshold for that is reeeeally high) but the only emotion I ever end up with from that is irritability once it starts wearing off, though I haven't figured out why lmao. I don't know if this is just me or a more typical part of psychopathy, but it's fairly common for me to have the chemical/physiological side of an emotion without the emotional feeling itself - like what I just described with the adrenaline. I do experience anxiety (actually a pretty common comorbidity) sometimes, but it tends to be a very cerebral form of it, and is almost never *about* anything, just there.

I don't usually feel anything when friends or family members die. if they're very important to me, I get a little sad, but it's not very strong or long-lasting. I don't feel anything when other people are in mental or physical pain, even if I have caused it. this doesn't mean I can't care about people, just that it's a conscious decision and doesn't come with emotional attachment. my cognitive empathy is positively excellent.

I was a total nightmare as a kid. I was always always getting in trouble, and roping other kids into my unhinged (and usually dangerous) schemes. I was not always kind to other kids. I tended to manipulate peers who looked up to me for my entertainment when I was really young, but I did correct this behavior because it's not remotely worth it, and because I do make an effort to live as normally as possible and put significant effort into maintaining and adhering to a strict code of ethics (this is very difficult tbqh, but I have a high capacity for self-discipline). I was always getting in fights. I practically lived in the principal's office. I could NOT be told what to do. Punishment had zero impact. My mom wound up on antidepressants (this may have very little or even nothing to do with me, but idk & figured it was worth mentioning in case it was). I'm lucky I didn't get arrested. I realized I was headed that direction mid high school and sorted my shit out.

4. My wife and I love each other in our own way. She feels things a bit more than I do, and she DEFINITELY feels love as an emotion more than I do. But we talk openly about that, and she genuinely accepts me as I am and knows that I love her to the best of my ability, in my own way, and I go to extra efforts to make her feel loved because I'm aware that I can't reciprocate quite what she feels. That said, she is also rather high in psychopathic traits like I mentioned previously, which explains why we bonded initially over the things that we did (things I'd better not specify lol). It also means she really isn't bothered by me not being terribly affectionate, romantic, patient, or just generally any of the things most people want in a partner lmao. I do really try for her though. I definitely consistently form closer connections with other high-psychopathy individuals than anyone else. She rarely uses tumblr but is @psychichologramnightmare if you have any questions for her 😁

as for what love means to me, I think it's pretty individual. there are many components to love as we conceptualize it. love as a concept & love as a literal emotional feeling are sort of different in my mind, I guess.

#mine #ask #anon ask #anon #psychopathy #emotionality

[bots-and-cons]

The tfp bots meeting a human that has the personality of Lila Rossi from Miraculousl ladybug and is the ally of the cons

So a total bitch. I've watched most of Miraculous Ladybug, and I freaking hate Lila as a character. I've had experiences with so many people like that irl, and none of them were good. I basically wrote a very bitchy, manipulative reader. I only did some of the bots, since I didn’t feel like doing all of them. Also this is set a bit before the cons destroyed the base and all that jazz. Also kinda of a ramble and might not make sense

•You go to the same school in Jasper as the trouble trio, so they know you

•You’ve got a certain reputation at the school, and even though not everyone sees through your “innocent act” a lot of people do, including Miko, Raf and Jack

•Well mostly Miko and Raf, because Jack thinks you’re his friend and is oblivious to your little act

•Honestly, Arcee is not really surprised that someone like you would get along with the cons

•From what she’s seen and what she’s heard, you are quite a manipulative person

•The bots thought they were saving you from the cons, when they saw you sitting on Knockout’s front seat, but you made it very clear that you did not want anything to do with “you idiotic autobots” as you said

•Bee doesn’t really think you’re all that bad when he first hears about you, you’re just a teenager, how bad could you possibly be?

•But when you’re actually brought to the base, (dumb decision btw, you snitched about it to the cons right after the bots dropped you off in town) you’re quite an unpleasant person

•You’re pretty much just laughing at the bots about how pathetic they are, and how they’re never going to beat the decepticons

•Ratchet basically has smoke coming out of his audials, because who in the name of Primus thought it was a good idea to bring you to the base

•This is going to cause so much trouble and he would really rather not deal with it

•Smokescreen gets a bad vibe from you and in general can not stand you and does not want to deal with you

•None of them have had to deal with you for long, but even that little bit was enough

•You’ve of course got a lot to report to the cons and you’re happy to do it

•The bots don’t really talk shit, especially about some random, unpleasant teen, but damn you are unlikable

#transformers #tfp #transformers prime #autobots #ratchet #arcee #smokescreen #bumblebee #tfp headcanons #reader insert #platonic transformers x reader

[dipplinduo]

#1 - 50

no im kidding LOLLLL #25 and 34.

(Context: Questions for Fic Writers Ask Game) LOOOOOL I WAS ABOUT TO BE LIKE "DAMN OKAY" xD

25. What other websites or resources do you use most often when you write?

My toxic habit is that I go on google and look up synonyms of a word and search until I find one I like if I notice I'm repeating myself/want it to hit different. I should be using actual resources imo but I'm too lazy to go find them.

I also tend to research random things for accuracy (e.g. for S&S D, I often check what pokemon are available in certain areas for worldbuilding; for DIOH I recently went on a whole deep dive about sencha so I could incorporate cultural stuff & things like taste appropriately, etc.)

34. What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life?

Sweet & Sour Dipplins:

I recently said this but Kieran's dialogue regarding gayness was verbatim my memory of what little me said in response to learning about gay people & a family member's disapproval of gay marriage ("Isn't love just love, though?")

Some of the highlights of Juliana's character are based on what I aspire to be/try to be, and her character flaws are based on what I know are my own.

Not really irl stuff but I lazily decided Juliana's team is legit my Scarlet team because I didn't feel like putting too much thought into it LOOOOL

I think I pull from my interactions with my irl guy friends when thinking of what Drayton would do/say sometimes. Also same with the bromance that is Arven/Crispin.

I base a lot of Sweet & Sour Applins' behaviors off of cats. Sweet Applin is more of my freinds' domestic cats, while Sour Applin is closer to a cat I grew up with and saved from the streets. She had a very big love/hate relationship with me in particular DESPITE ME BEING THE FIRST HUMAN SHE WARMED UP TO AND THE LITERAL REASON SHE GOT A HOME-

One of the S&S kissing scenes is based on something I've experienced personally. I am not saying which one. 💀

The Dichotomy in Our Hearts:

People in my personal life often describe my disposition as being "sunshiney", but I can have my own broody rainclouds when I'm down lol. I usually appreciate being able to talk about my feelings but if I'm in a particularly rare mood of total despondence nothing will really work on me other than silence and physical touch. It's my primary love language and Kieran's own despondence being broken through with it in Chapter 2 is a very ME thing in hindsight LOOOOL

Juliana hiding her feelings is something I have absolutely done with crushes growing up, and her shy but curious and caring disposition is based off of my past self. How she will deal with her secret crush on Kieran will also be dealt with in the way I have dealt with my own (although this is coincidence and is for the plot).

A Sugary Sweet Kiss:

One time I went on a date with someone who was really really nervous the whole time, and I pulled a littleeeee bit from him when I was characterizing Kieran. I also dressed very nicely while the other person dressed down like Juliana and Kieran did in the fic. xD

#I am happy I get to do this! :D #fun questions #<3 #asks #my fics #dipplinshipping #kieran pokemon #kieran x juliana pokemon #juliana x kieran pokemon #juliana pokemon #kieran x juliana #juliana x kieran #personal lore #theres more for 34 but I think thats good enough for now #applin supremacy #ask game

[myymi]

When I write or generally like/dislike a character,, lot of the time they remind me of people I know.

Do any Sonic characters remind you of irl/online friends or family members? Does it impact how u write them??

funnily enough, yeah lol

a few of my family members do, actually

one of my brothers remind me a lot of knuckles -- anger issues, protective over his stuff, easy to push his buttons

one of my sisters remind me a lot of sonic -- loves to run, reckless, would probably kill someone for me

(^these two are funny because im a tails kinnie so we're literally just team sonic irl. im the youngest, my sister is the middle, my brother the oldest)

my little cousin reminds me a lot of charmy -- carefree, obsessed w games, finds a way to make light of any situation

my oldest brother reminds me of shadow -- keeps to himself, angry w the world, has one guy he's constantly at odds with

my second oldest sister reminds me of rouge -- not afraid to say things bluntly, knows how to get her way, teases people a lot

my oldest sister reminds me of vanilla -- super sweet, cares for anyone who needs it, will move heaven and earth for family

and then friendsss

@passionartx is sonic in every fucking way, loser 🫶

@sh-0-w-1-sh irl surge right here, they suck (/j, ily)

@casperangel gives me cream vibes

@nblatinotails is actually just tails. their infodumps>>>

there's a few more but i don't want to be too annoying so didndkdnd

i actually implement a lot of conversations/things ive done with my siblings into my fics w tails, sonic, and/or knuckles

storybook wednesday was actually something we all used to do together when we were little lol

and i totally base charmy's character off my little cousin because istg they are the same person

#it's a lot of fun connect family and friends to different characters like this #or maybe that's just me. idk #anyways sorry for tagging lol #miles tails prower #sonic the hedgehog #tails the fox #sth #sonic #knuckles the echidna #anon #anonymous #anon ask #cream the rabbit #vanilla the rabbit #shadow the hedgehog #surge the tenrec #rouge the bat #fanfic writer ask #charmy bee

[theaggresivepacifist]

Twenty Questions

Thank you @cupofteaandstars for the tag!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 16, plus a Spanish translation a friend did of one of my works.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 73,165, for now.

What fandoms do you write for? Exclusively Stranger/Secret Forest and related crossovers, although there was that one Andor one that I just had to put out there to cope with the intensity of my feelings about the cliffhanger season ending.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

It's a close race among some of these, but:

gamsa

chilyo

chib

heonsin

haengbok (with maengse only one behind at the moment)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do, always! I'm honestly always so astounded and delighted to think of someone reading my work while I'm just out here having a normal Monday or Tuesday, and want to express that delight.

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh boy, just you wait.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Since all things Si-mok and Yeo-jin related (or Stranger-in-general-related) are usually bittersweet, probably inyeon, a relatively recent one. However, the one that leaves me with the warmest feeling at the end is actually pyeongsaeng.

Do you get hate on fics?

Fortunately not! I've gotten a few weird comments once or twice but nothing mean-spirited.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do not, and the few times I've been tempted I have realized swiftly that I'm not cut out for it.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Only within the Stranger/SF multiverse so far - in other words, AUs for Stranger/SF that are based on Bae Doona and CSW's other works, which I think of as other lives of Si-mok and Yeo-jin.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Ditto Cup, not that I know of. I would go absolutely off-the-charts feral in order to get the copycat fic taken down.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! My IRL best friend of many years graciously wrote me a Spanish translation of chib.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Eh, I'm not really a shipper...? HOWEVER, @ohyangchon has given me massive Changjae feelings and I love their relationship so much.

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Scenes just sort of seem to come to me, and once they're there I don't stop until they eventually coalesce into a complete story, no matter how long that takes to find its shape. I do have an extensively Yeo-jin and Si-mok inspired novel (low-key sci-fi? space opera?) that has been nagging at me for years, but I don't think that one will ever amount to anything.

What are your writing strengths?

I'd like to think I inhabit the voices of the characters well.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Pacing, probably?

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Similar to Cup's thoughts, this is difficult because I feel like sometimes names, titles, and terms of address in particular just don't have the same nuance and feeling translated from Korean into English-- especially the terms of address that Si-mok and Yeo-jin and others use for each other. Therefore, sometimes I do transliterate. Also, as I become a little bit more comfortable IRL speaking Korean, where practical I sometimes find myself wanting to mimic the Korean clause order/speech patterns of sentences even while writing in English.

First fandom you wrote for?

I think it must have been a gift fic in the Redwall fandom (never made it to AO3, but a cozy and comforting thing to work on)

Favorite fic you've written?

I love all my children equally!!! But I do think I did some really great character work in bohoja, one of my works on a more underrated duo (Si-mok and Mr. Kang). I usually am pretty self-critical, but there are a few lines in there that I always read and think "damn, who wrote that???" XD

Who hasn't been spoken for? Tagging @gottagobuycheese, @inkingtwice, and @michyeosseo as well as anyone else who's interested!

#my original fic #stranger #tvn stranger #forest of secrets #secret forest #stranger 2 #tvn stranger 2 #forest of secrets 2 #secret forest 2 #*gasp* personal information about me???? #only Cupofteaandstars and ohyangchon could have dragged this out of me

[wormdebut]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @thefreakandthehair and @wynnyfryd You’re both so hot and cool and talented it’s unreal.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Fifteen

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

88,773

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things

The only other fandom I’ve ever considered writing for is Good Omens, but I’m so obsessed with Steddie I don’t know if I can peel myself away.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Cut It Loose, Watch You Work The Room

2. I Like Playing Dumb Until You Figure Me Out

3. Tell Eddie He Looks Sexy With His Hair Pushed Back

4. All You Have Is Your Fire

5. Comb The Crowd, Pick You Out

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Abso-fucking-lutely I Do. Why? Because I am in shock and awe that anyone anywhere appreciated the goofy thing I wrote so much that they commented to tell me that. Thank you thank you thank you for commenting on fics. It means everything.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I’m incapable of not writing a happy ending. Happy Ending are GUARANTEED IN THIS HOME. However, Wynn noted I did write a bonus microfic that was posted to Tumblr only that was angsty. Fun fact: it was based off a very un-angsty IRL experience with Wynnyfryd herself.

‘If They Won’t Call You Wynny Baby, I Will.’

Anyway, read Drunk Words—Sober Thoughts if you wanna.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of…All of them I—yall you know my Steddies are so fucking in love with each other it’s stupid.

But Comb The Crowd, Pick You Out is especially cheese.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, and I’m blessed for that, but even if I did…all my buddies know how truly dedicated I am to the fact that We are responsible for our own online experience. Don’t let goofy goobers who have nothing better to do than put you down, get to you. If yall ever get hate and need someone to tell you you’re fucking worth it—cmere.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Me? Write Smut? Oh my god I could never—

Yall what haven’t I written, be so fucking for real.

Requests? Drop ‘Em in my Ask Box.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nooo. I do not. Obviously I have a mess of a good omens X steddie AU rattling around in my brain, but it will never come to fruition

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, but where I largely write Rockstar dom daddy Eddie it’s very easy to see different variations of similar plot lines. Alas, Two Cakes

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No! But I would cry if one ever was.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No! My writing style is so chaotic I think anyone I wrote with would be shook and terrified. HOWEVER, I may have something coming with @steddieas-shegoes real fuckin’ soon.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Steddie. My angels. The loves of my life.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh god. The first thing I ever started writing for Steddie was a Rockstar AU. Shocked looks from the lived audience. Where Steve and Robin moved to Chicago and Eddie covers Head Like a Hole by Nine Inch Nails. Fuckin’ Woof. May it rest in slutty slutty pieces.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Writing seventy two miles of really spicy foreplay…and dialogue 😂

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Some authors are so fucking incredible with imagery and beautiful descriptions of scenes and I just don’t think I’m one of them, but I would like to be one day.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I can barely speak English so I would never write a fic where Eddie speaks French when he fucks…

Anyway stream Tell Eddie He Looks Sexy

19. First fandom you wrote for?

That I published? Stranger Things.

That’s buried in the back of my closet, handwritten in a notebook? The Backstreet Boys.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Kiss Your Knuckles (Before You Punch Me In The Face) It is everything to me.

Well that was fuckin’ fun as heck. Tagging with absolutely zero pressure a couple buddies 🖤

@messessentialist @steddieas-shegoes @just-my-latest-hyperfixation @aidaronan @sourw0lfs @t-boyeddie @scarcrossdlvrs @runninriot @cuips-not-cute @onirislanding @thisapplepielife

#steddie #worm brain #me? write smut?? nooo

[jacksgreysays]

DOS, Shikako & Akamaru, teaching seals

Okay anon, I see what you did here… this duo and this prompt would imply a comedic fic: teaching a dog fuinjutsu, that’s pretty funny.

BUT what if we tried to make it serious.

Let’s take the parts of this prompt as seriously as they can get:

Shikako is, except for Jiraiya, Konoha’s foremost leader in fuinjutsu.

Akamaru is a ninken of the Inuzuka clan.

Why would Konoha’s foremost leader in fuinjutsu teach an Inuzuka clan ninken anything about seals?

What if, it’s BECAUSE he’s a ninken? Or, more generally, BECAUSE he’s not human?

So why would Shikako NEED to teach a non-human about sealing?

If, for some reason, humans are incapable or cannot to be trusted to do a specific sealing array that Shikako needs someone else to learn.

Because, well, you know I love me some reluctant goddess Shikako. So arguably, she’s not human anymore either.

So it could be a seal that very specifically humans cannot/should not do, and the closest ally Shikako has that isn’t human (and isn’t a summon, maybe the summoning realm has been blocked off? not sure, will have to think on this more) is Akamaru.

Okay, so what’s the threat that excludes humans from being a part of the solution?

I’d say, if we’re going serious threats, the obvious answers would be either 1) ROOT or 2) Edo Tensei. Both of which are threats that fuinjutsu could solve and also primarily target humans.

If we want to go into the realm of more realistic, it could be that Shikako is teaching Akamaru not how to MAKE seals but how to sniff them out? Specifically for the ROOT seal, that is. Like, if for some reason she can’t sense the change in someone post getting a ROOT seal. Or, if she can ONLY sense someone getting a ROOT seal if she already knew what their chakra was like BEFORE. So Akamaru being able to smell ROOT seals regardless of if he’s clocked their scent before would make him the better detector. And, you know, dogs IRL are being trained to sniff/sense the most subtle medical conditions that would otherwise require active monitoring with specialized machinery, so it wouldn’t be too out there for Akamaru to be able to sniff if someone has an extremely important, literal behavior altering mouth seal. Maybe they need to talk first in order for air to be exhaled over the seal and put the scent into the air, but that’s totally doable.

And it may be a matter of, if Shikako can teach Akamaru, then HE can teach the other Inuzuka ninken, and you have an entire clan of the most honest and loyal shinobi on the look out for the sleeper agents within Konoha.

… now as for how Akamaru learning seals would affect the Edo Tensei… hm… again, I didn’t actually get very far in Shippuden, so I don’t know what parameters are needed in order to stop an Edo Tensei zombie? Is it like regular zombies and you have to mess up the brain/the core? Or do they just continue to come back until you end the technique (ie kill the summoner)? Is it obvious who the summoner is?

Because, again, what if its less Shikako literally teaches Akamaru, a dog, how to seal, but instead something about Akamaru, a dog, is needed to defeat this fuinjutsu-based threat. And if it’s not creating seals and we’ve already covered detecting seals, then maybe she’s teaching Akamaru how to destroy seals in such a way that humans cannot.

This would make more sense if the giant Eternal Mangekyo moon genjutsu was more of a sealing thing, but what if it’s literally like… throwing human chakra at the problem just makes it stronger. What you need is a jolt of inhuman chakra to throw off the cycle in order to break it… sort of thing?

Hm… I’m not sure… what do you think, anon?

#jacksgreyson #anonymous #ask box advent calendar #dreaming of sunshine #shikako nara #akamaru #brainstorm #meta analysis

[shayyprasad]

happy halloween to all, i guess | peter parker

tw: panic attack

posted to wattpad on halloween just putting it up here

also, can i marry mj

sorry this was posted late lololol

don't hate me for having y/n dislike horror movies cuz me personally, ik that horror movies can trigger things like trauma, loss of sleep (insomnia), and panic attacks

it depends on the person and they shouldn't ever be judged for that, because you simply cannot control these things

anyways thats it lmao

this is kinda based of smth that happened irl except i'm hopelessly single and don't have a peter parker, quite sadly  

i bet u enjoyed this super long authors note

summary: halloween starts off fine, and then... well, it's not so fine.

you tried not to smile as you applied a layer of lipstick to your lips, eager to begin the night that lay ahead of you.

halloween was no doubt one of the best days of the year, and yes, despite being almost 17, you still went trick-or-treating. dignity was a mere price to pay at the rate of your happiness (in candy, of course).

but it had also gotten better after you starting dating peter in the 8th grade, because since then you and peter would always dress up together. this year it was peter pan and wendy, and you were beyond excited. you were dressed in her outfit, a blue dress, with your hair in a half up-half down hairstyle, held up with a blue bow. you hadn't done much with your hair, aside from curl it.

"i got it!" you screeched as you raced down the stairs, almost falling to your death multiple times, to answer the door. your parents locked eyes, clearly amused as you cleared your throat, straightened up and answered the door.

"hi, peter!" you grinned, grabbing your tote bag, because it would hold more candy, and yelling out a quick "love you, be home sometime today, i think" and closing the front door behind you.

he kissed you on the cheek, admiring your costume. "you look really pretty," he blushed.

"thanks, babes. you look pretty, too."

he helped you get in the car before getting in himself, "aww, love, you saved me shotgun!" you grinned, sticking your tongue out at mj and ned in the back. mj was a giant cardboard book, and ned was yoda.

peter looked at you, a sweet smile on his face as he rested his hand on your thigh. "'course, i gotta have my passenger princess with me at all times."

"god, gross. can you not eye-fuck each other for, like, 5 seconds?" mj rolled her eyes.

"we weren't-" peter tried. 

but it didn't matter because you and mj were already catching up, even though you saw each other at school. something about brad and jessica, but he hadn't bothered much. his hand was still in the same place, with yours on top.

"okay," ned interrupted, "mj's neighborhood, right? you know they have the best candy?"

"then why'd you pick me up?" she asked.

you shrugged, "the candy's okay. you just like her place because that one house was handing out starwars figurines."

"that's not- yeah, no, you're right," ned shrugged.

"okay," nodded peter, "mj's place it is."

"again, why'd you pick me up then?"

the next couple hours were spent getting weird stares and collecting candy until most people went inside. at that point, you and the others decided to go to peter's and spend the rest of the night binge-watching halloween movies and stuffing your face with candy.

"i think we should watch the exorcist!" peter declared and you instantly frowned.

you hated horror movies. why would someone willingly want to be subject to a heart attack? that was completely, totally, nonsensical.

but peter did really seem excited about this, so maybe for one night you could suck it up. besides, when was the best time to watch a movie? halloween, right?

mj shrugged, "i don't care what we do."

"we totally should!" ned pumped his fist up and you mentally groaned.

"can weeee? pleaseee?" peter pouted.

"god, i can't think straight when you give me that face. but sure, i guess. i don't really care either," you said, trying to seem nonchalant. but mj must have seen right through your whole facade, because she rose a brow at you. 

"awesomeeeee!" peter and ned high-fived each other before your boyfriend eagerly lunged for the tv remote, searching up the exorcist. 

for the entire time you had your eyes on the screen, your heart rate never went down. you were trying to power through for peter, considering how happy he looked for it, not that you understood why. you squirmed and fidgeted against the couch, trying to muster up the courage to say something. 

you could only take about about an hour until you felt like you'd reached your limit. your palms itched and your chest felt constricted. clumsily excusing yourself for the bathrrom, you stumbled out the front door, feeling the hot flashes against your skin, making your brain go fuzzy.

pulling up your knees to your chest, you clutched both sides of your head with you hands, heavy, ragged breaths leaving your mouth. you couldn't breath at all, and it felt like the edges of the world were blurring together, making everything feel hazy, sending you into a dark, starless oblivion. 

hot tears were streaming down your face, and you were struggling to calm down.

"y/n? y/n! there you are! you'd been gone a long time, so i thought you were taking a dump, but you weren't in the-"

you didn't bother to look up, still focused on yourself. 

"hey, angel, is everything okay? well, that was a stupid question. i-i'm here, love, i'm here," he wrapped his arms around you tightly, engulfing you a tight bear hug. you tried to pry yourself out of his grip, but he didn't let go. 

you felt your breaths slow down and become more full, and you weren't crying anymore. you eased yourself into him and rested your head into the crook of his neck, sniffling quietly. 

"feeling better now?"

you nodded. 

"yeah, uh, i read somewhere that bear hugs help. b-because i know you, um, get those often, and i wanted to be able to help... because, you know, i love you," you cheeks flamed red as he spoke, the two of you had over only exchanged those words twice and counting. 

"i love you, too," you murmured. 

"w-what happened, baby?"

"um, it's stupid. like, really stupid," your voice broke and you knew he'd find it pathetic. 

"i won't, i promise. you can talk to me, y/n, i'll never, ever, judge you."

"i just- i don't like scary movies," you cringed slightly at your words and how they sounded. 

"that's it?"

"see? i knew you'd find it stupid," you pulled away from him, "because it is. and i'm stupid because i can't watch a freaking make-believe movie, and i'm so sorry because your girlfriend is a big, pathetic, stupid baby-"

"no, no, no, that's not what i meant! first, don't call my girlfriend any of those things, because she's not," he continued when he saw you smile. "and second, i'm the one who should be sorry. because that's on me. it's on me that i didn't know, and that put you in that position and made you feel like you had to watch that stupid movie." you didn't say anything, paying attention to the cracks in the steps.

"i'm so sorry, love, i had known, i wouldn't have put it on. and, hey, don't feel stupid. everyone get scared. i'm scared of spiders and i'm spider-man, for god-sakes," well, that made you laugh. 

"it's okay. not your fault," you moved back into this side. 

"we're good, right?"

"right."

"rad. now how about we watch monster house intstead? wanna know a secret? that's what ned's afraid of. he calls it a fever dream," he snickered. 

"that's 'cause it is. also, did you just use 'rad'?"

#spiderman #tom holland #peter parker #tom holland x reader #halloween amirite #tw panic attack #yay still copying and pasting

[vergess]

An anonymous user asks:

hello, i was wondering if you could pass a message along to vee? if this is inappropriate to ask i am sorry, but I am honestly too embarrassed to ask any of the Jewish people in my life irl and I think you’re of an age you would understand the question. outside of the “possibly killed his girlfriend but also it might have been someone at the party the night before and so many drugs were involved thing” sid vicious wore… well you know the shirt. i grew up listening to the Sex Pistols and romanticizing the statement “knight in rusted armour” but as a risk of sounding terminally online is it problematic? asking from a place of good faith because you’re not going to sugar coat things but also aren’t going to get out the pitch forks unnecessarily

So! This is based on only my vague (like 1 hour research) understanding of him and his contributions to punk rather than as a guy who comes up a lot in pop culture, like in fanfiction and video games. That all in mind!

If you truly feel you deeply relate to his music, then there's no reason to stop listening to the stuff you already own or anythig drastic. But oh boy are some of the claims I'm reading about egregious.

The good news is, the are what's known as "shock jock" behaviour: controversy seeking rather than a genuine support. This is still very bad to do, don't engage in it. It creates safe environments for actual heartfelt nazis to grow their numbers.

But you have to remember, in the 1970s, it was Not Popular to be a nazi. Not like it is today. It was common enough that everyone sort of know a guy, sure. And antisemitism was getting really bad again in europe. But nazism? Specifically? It wasn't Cool. It was controversial.

Not like today. My goodness we live in the worst fucking timeline.

Whatever. Nazi symbolism was a quick way to cause a controversy back then, is the point.

Logically one can assume the same is true of, for example, writing a song about an extermination camp. Egregious yes, but egregious on purpose because the feelings of jews were not considered relevant compared to the controversy that it would cause.

But fucking shit though, some of this is hard to read about.

This is why it's so important as contemporary punk enjoyers to viciously push back against nazis co-opting the space.

So, in private and with regards to your personal emotions to the artworks? Go enjoy what you enjoy! You aren't hurting someone by privately listening to music.

But in public? As my GF put it, if I heard someone was like... hardcore into this man's work, like to the extent of attending cover band concerts for example? I would expect them to be vocally and passionately anti-nazi before I could trust them.

And, I totally see where someone who just knows the man off google search results would think of him as "guy who maybe killed his Jewish GF after writing songs about extermination camps."

To be clear, I agree that the most probable "suspect" was that someone had a really bad trip. Who? No one knows; everyone was high.

But I see why many Jewish people would be uncomfortable with him, based on a cursory understanding of the situation.

Which is why, if you take your appreciation for his work from private to public, you must. MUST! Be 100% ready to do whatever it takes to keep nazis out of punk in today's world, and to combat antisemitism when it arises in your local spaces.

That's the part that matters.

And in my opinion? Based on the way you approached this, you're doing very well informing yourself on the subject. You had some idea of the issue, and you reached out to someone you trust. I appreciate you doing so.

Also, if you like me mostly knew this guy as, "oh, the anarchy in the UK guy, from guitar hero"... don't feel bad, my friend. I literally had no idea either. I recommend as further reading the short book/essay collection "Oy Oy Oy Gevalt! Jews and Punk" by Michael Croland.

#Automatic OP tag

[markwatnae]

This is just support and me cheering you on with your dating life. I’m so proud of you for recognizing that the one guy who talks too much might not be the best fit for you and setting/sticking to your boundaries. Dating should be fun it shouldn’t cause you anxiety or stress. And he should also be able to find someone who can match his energy/expectations just like you should be free to do. With the other guy definitely have a talk either through call or text and just try to get a feeling about how serious/long term/what you each expect from this relationship and the boundaries neither one of you should cross. And hey if at the end of the day you decide dating online/through apps isn’t for you then that’s totally okay too. Who knows you might find the right person irl. Dating is tough but just remember you’re tougher.

Anon you're the best ILYSM

I have a really bad issue with needing people to like me and if they don't, then that means I'm a bad person. I know logically that this is insane but a lot of my self-esteem is based off what other people think of me which I need to work on. I've just never done anything that stood on its own as something to be proud of so I have to find validation in other people to feel like I matter.

But I woke up the last two days dreading looking at my phone because someone might have messaged me. I hated having to worry about not responding soon enough or at all. And I dreaded the idea of talking on the phone again. I swear to God, I don't even talk my own parents or sister unless they call me or they're in front of me. I'm a texter, I always have been. But I was even starting to dread messaging because I'm such a fucking introvert even texting exhausts me.

I definitely think I want to try meeting people IRL

update: I messaged the talkative guy and told him I don't want to waste his time and let him find someone whose desires align with his but i don't plan on reading any responses me may send

[chamerionwrites]

i genuinely did not intend for my previous ask to come off as accusatory. i have ASD and have problems conveying and interpreting tone, so if it seemed like i was trying to paint you as something you’re not then i sincerely apologize. you are, however, correct in pointing out that there’s a lot frustration tied to the topic for me, as i’ve time and time again seen people use innocuous-sounding statements about the importance of not being judgmental wrt:kinks as a fig leaf for their habitual pushing of survivors’ boundaries on topics like rape and things like “consent play,” “raceplay,” “ageplay,” etc. as a survivor myself i find much of this stuff extremely triggering, and i’m tired of seeing people whose blogs are plastered with things like simulated SA and CSAM take advantage of others’ good faith when they say things like “don’t judge people for taboo kinks,” knowing that most will assume they mean stuff like vore or inflation or whatever. i’m trying to imply that you are one of those people, but i don’t think people realize how generally positive statements like “don’t judge others’ kinks” can be co-opted by those with harmful intentions.

So first I want to say that it's understandable for these subjects to be emotionally taxing (and yeah, triggering), and also that it's kind of a lot to deal with in the space of a Tumblr post. I'm going to try to be both careful and somewhat concise - and sometimes those things can be read as condescending and curt. I appreciate your clarification, I'm trying to answer sincerely, and it is not my intention to come across as either of those things.

Also, we live in the worst timeline where when people say "CSA" they can mean anything on the gamut from horrible crimes such as actual children being assaulted, to ~horrible crimes~ such as having sex ed books in the library or, you know, gay people existing in public. I'm going to assume that you are neither asking me about irl child abuse nor about some cute picture book where two ladies hold hands. My impression from everything you've said here and in the other ask is that your frustrations are centered around people having kinks or sexual fantasies that have something to do with pain/violence/consent/age/etc, and also artistic depictions of sexual violence and/or of underaged characters in sexual situations (again, I'm not certain how broadly you define this; I've seen people object vehemently to coming of age novels that include teenagers having sex, or to eroticized fan art of grown-up versions of young characters). If that general outline of your concerns is off-base somehow, I apologize for misunderstanding.

With those caveats out of the way, there are basically three points I want to touch on:

Point #1 is that all kinds of good/true/useful statements can be and often are co-opted by people with harmful ideas and/or intentions, and that this is not a reflection on the validity of the original statement. It's unsettlingly common for people to advance violently racist arguments about population control on the basis that climate change is happening. This doesn't mean that climate change isn't happening, or that anybody who says "climate change is happening" is responsible for every conceivable way that someone could twist that statement for their own ends. Russian war propaganda (and I am singling out Russia because it's a very current example, but arguments in this vein are a staple of war propaganda generally) says that because neo-nazis exist and are bad (true!), invading Ukraine is good (no). Obviously I'm sketching very quick and broad outlines here because neither of those topics is what we're actually discussing, but I think you can see the point I'm making. It's totally understandable to be frustrated when people twist good arguments for bad ends, but that's not a reason to reject those arguments out of hand.

Point #2 is that "triggering" is a morally neutral descriptor. A lot of people - for fairly obvious and sympathetic reasons - find this hard to swallow. But if you reflect on specific scenarios it comes into focus pretty quickly; someone who was badly bitten by a neighbor's pet may find dogs triggering, but this doesn't make you a bad person for posting pictures of your puppy. A lot of people are triggered by really mundane and innocuous things that - at least to a casual observer - have no clear connection to the trauma itself. Plenty of people are triggered by stuff that's not just innocuous but generally agreed upon to be nice: birthdays, a kiss on the forehead, the smell of a certain food cooking. That's just how trauma works. We put trigger warnings on things so that people can make informed decisions about whether to avoid them or to brace themselves, not to mark those things as inherently immoral and tainted.

What I'm driving at here is that people can have every valid reason for being upset by something without it automatically following that the thing which upset them shouldn't exist. It is 100% understandable for survivors (or anyone else for that matter) to be disturbed by a rape scene in a film/show/book/whatever. That doesn't mean that it's morally wrong to write a rape scene; art is a means of discussing the human experience, some people writing those scenes have experienced rape, and all of us live with rape culture and have thoughts and emotions and experiences pertaining to it. That also doesn't mean that tasteless or exploitative or just plain bad art does not exist, or cannot be criticized as such. It means these things have to be judged on a case by case basis - how art handles sensitive subjects, not just the fact that it chooses to explore them - and that sometimes people are going to disagree about those judgments. That in itself can be scary and upsetting to come to terms with, and I get it. It's comforting to have hard and fast rules. It is so much easier to just say "nobody should ever write a rape scene" and be done with it. But imo that would hurt at least as many people as it helped - and most likely far more. If anything is shaming and silencing and soul-crushing to trauma survivors, in my experience, it is the insistence that to speak openly about violence is itself a form of violence.

Crucially, none of that means that you can't have boundaries. Anyone who insists on pushing those boundaries is absolutely and unequivocally in the wrong. At the same time, it's important to recognize that a boundary is a fence that you place around yourself, not a cage that you can order everybody else to stay inside. You're well within your rights to (eg) not read or discuss Lolita, but you can't ban other people from reading Lolita or discussing it in a public space like Tumblr.

Finally, Point #3: you are far from alone in being (at best) grossed out by certain kinks. You are not wrong that people can be pressured and coerced into things that they don't really want to do (which is equally true of the most vanilla of vanilla sex; in fact, if I had to guess, I'd wager that far more people have been pressured into sex acts that are commonly viewed as '''normal,''' specifically because they're viewed as normal - and thus mandatory, or at least weird to quibble about). And you are also not wrong that we live in a society. Of course kink does not exist in a vacuum. In the aforementioned rape culture, for example, it would be genuinely astonishing if a lot of people DIDN'T ever get their wires crossed between fear-arousal and sex-arousal and then fantasize about coercive or violent scenarios. To use a less loaded example, I think if you took a poll you could probably find a good number of people who at a formative age watched some film or other in which a sweaty handsome action hero got tied to a chair, and found that it Awakened Something in them. For that matter I don't even think something as simple as the number of people who get completely undone about boobs (as opposed to some other body part or erogenous zone) is entirely uninfluenced by the way women's bodies - and sexuality in general - are represented in pop culture.

And with all that said...human brains are individualized and complex and frequently pretty strange. Of course kink is influenced by the society we live in...but how exactly that influence plays out, how logical or 1:1 it is, is also individualized and complex and often strange. The primal monkeybrain is sometimes MUCH better at distinguishing different intensities of sensation/emotion than distinguishing different types of sensation/emotion (people cry when they're sad but also when they're furious, or frightened, or delighted, or deeply moved - or sometimes after really good sex, for that matter). Libido often operates very much in the realm of metaphor. Plenty of people do not literally want to fuck monsters, but are really into the rush of danger or the recognition of self in the other or just the idea of desire existing outside the limits of what is '''supposed''' to be desirable. Plenty of people do not literally want to be eaten, but really like the idea of being consumed.

All of which is to say that the reason people are reluctant to be judgmental about kink isn't that it's some magical zone where the rules of critical thinking don't apply. It's that you can't critically evaluate something when you're missing a ton of context, if you haven't been invited into somebody's bedroom you often are missing a ton of context on the whys and hows of what they're into, and there's no way you can demand someone explain all the fine details of their sex life to you without being the bad guy (that's, y'know, sexual harassment). I think it'd be pretty naive to say that nobody has ever kinked on something for cruel or dehumanizing reasons. I also think that cruelty and dehumanization are bad independent of how they're expressed. Abuse is wrong whether the perpetrator is as vanilla as a bottle of extract or the kinkiest person on the planet.

Does that make sense? What I'm saying is that all the potential ins and out of individual human sexuality between enthusiastically consenting adults are way above my pay grade, and what matters is that someone treats their partners (and also people they aren't sleeping with) respectfully and kindly. I don't think there's a world where somebody is into something specifically as a tool to mistreat people that doesn't lead to anyone being mistreated. And I think that sort of thing - actions, end results - is what's most feasible to judge if you don't want to be in the business of prosecuting thoughtcrimes.

Which I recognize is probably not the answer you were after, and like I said I think it's fully understandable to wish for a much more clean-cut and comforting answer when grappling with pretty fraught subjects. But I do think that even if you disagree with EVERYTHING else that I've said here, the basic stance that you're asking me about remains true: normal ≠ moral. Weirdness ≠ violence. Even in your ask above, you've drawn a distinction between non-normative behavior that you see as basically harmless and non-normative behavior that you see as harmful. Which says that we're in agreement that the fundamental question is whether someone's behavior is harmful, not whether someone's behavior is transgressive of social norms.

#normal ≠ moral #cw rape #cw child abuse #on warnings #purity discourse #habanero salsa tag #my posts #ask box