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deathlessathanasia · 1 year

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“First of all the deathless gods who dwell on Olympus made a golden race of mortal men who lived in the time of Cronos when he was reigning in heaven. And they lived like gods without sorrow of heart, remote and free from toil and grief: miserable age rested not on them; but with legs and arms never failing they made merry with feasting beyond the reach of all evils. When they died, it was as though they were overcome with sleep, and they had all good things; for the fruitful earth unforced bare them fruit abundantly and without stint. They dwelt in ease and peace upon their lands with many good things, rich in flocks and loved by the blessed gods. But after earth had covered this generation -- they are called pure spirits dwelling on the earth, and are kindly, delivering from harm, and guardians of mortal men; for they roam everywhere over the earth, clothed in mist and keep watch on judgements and cruel deeds, givers of wealth; for this royal right also they received.

Then they who dwell on Olympus made a second generation which was of silver and less noble by far. It was like the golden race neither in body nor in spirit. A child was brought up at his good mother's side an hundred years, an utter simpleton, playing childishly in his own home. But when they were full grown and were come to the full measure of their prime, they lived only a little time in sorrow because of their foolishness, for they could not keep from sinning and from wronging one another, nor would they serve the immortals, nor sacrifice on the holy altars of the blessed ones as it is right for men to do wherever they dwell. Then Zeus the son of Cronos was angry and put them away, because they would not give honour to the blessed gods who live on Olympus. But when earth had covered this generation also -- they are called blessed spirits of the underworld by men, and, though they are of second order, yet honour attends them also.

Zeus the Father made a third generation of mortal men, a brazen race, sprung from ash-trees; and it was in no way equal to the silver age, but was terrible and strong. They loved the lamentable works of Ares and deeds of violence; they ate no bread, but were hard of heart like adamant, fearful men. Great was their strength and unconquerable the arms which grew from their shoulders on their strong limbs. Their armour was of bronze, and their houses of bronze, and of bronze were their implements: there was no black iron. These were destroyed by their own hands and passed to the dank house of chill Hades, and left no name: terrible though they were, black Death seized them, and they left the bright light of the sun.

But when earth had covered this generation also, Zeus the son of Cronos made yet another, the fourth, upon the fruitful earth, which was nobler and more righteous, a god-like race of hero-men who are called demi-gods, the race before our own, throughout the boundless earth. Grim war and dread battle destroyed a part of them, some in the land of Cadmus at seven-gated Thebe when they fought for the flocks of Oedipus, and some, when it had brought them in ships over the great sea gulf to Troy for rich-haired Helen's sake: there death's end enshrouded a part of them. But to the others father Zeus the son of Cronos gave a living and an abode apart from men, and made them dwell at the ends of earth. And they live untouched by sorrow in the islands of the blessed along the shore of deep swirling Ocean, happy heroes for whom the grain-giving earth bears honey-sweet fruit flourishing thrice a year, far from the deathless gods, and Cronos rules over them; for the father of men and gods released him from his bonds. And these last equally have honour and glory.

And again far-seeing Zeus made yet another generation, the fifth, of men who are upon the bounteous earth. Thereafter, would that I were not among the men of the fifth generation, but either had died before or been born afterwards. For now truly is a race of iron, and men never rest from labour and sorrow by day, and from perishing by night; and the gods shall lay sore trouble upon them. But, notwithstanding, even these shall have some good mingled with their evils. And Zeus will destroy this race of mortal men also when they come to have grey hair on the temples at their birth.”

- Hesiod, Works and Days

#anthropogony #zeus #kronos #hesiod #I keep seeing the idea that it is inaccurate to portray Zeus as the creator of mankind #that this role belongs to Prometheus and those who give it to Zeus are uneducated and imposing christian concepts on ancient Greek lore #well... clearly Hesiod disagrees #so do the Orphic texts #quotes #excerpts

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q-gorgeous · 3 years

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Glow

fanfiction

ao3

“So let me get this straight.” Neil said as he twirled a part of the live fish the ghosts had managed to catch in the ghost zone over the fire. “You’re part ghost?”

“Yep.” Victoria popped the P, already chewing on her own fish.

“How does that even work, like? Did you die to get like that, kind of like how I got my ecto-signature? Did your parents somehow get the freaky on? I just don’t understand.” Neil pulled his fish out of the fire.

“The second one. And don’t ask me, I always tuned my parents out when they were talking about it, trying to explain it to me. I really didn’t want to understand how their sex life worked.”

“I feel that. The birds and the bees talk is the worst.”

Victoria nodded.

“So what can you all do?” He asked. “There’s gotta be some perks to being some kind of half dead amalgamation.”

She rolled her eyes. “I can turn invisible, intangible, I bleed brown. I could probably make an ectoblast but that’s not something my parents ever taught me.”

“Wait, you bleed brown?”

“Yeah, my ectoplasm and blood are mixed together so they just make a really gross color.”

“Can you fly?” Neil asked excitedly.

She tsked. “Too human for that.”

“What about glow? Do you glow?”

She thought on that one a bit harder. “I don’t think so, not that I’ve noticed. My eyes glow sometimes if I’m experiencing a particularly strong emotion. But I’m not, like, a glow stick or anything.”

“But you’re not dead?”

Victoria threw her head back and laughed. “No but it’s how I feel on the inside.”

Neil laughed and looked at her. “It sucks that you’re not even really a real ghost and you have to be stuck here. All of us humans. Even the ghosts. It sucks that those goons drove all of us away.”

She smiled sadly. “Yeah.. But at least we’re safe for now.”

He nodded. “As long as we have something to eat and drink I guess there’s not much to complain about.”

Suddenly, Troy came sauntering over and he clapped an arm around Neil’s shoulders.

“You would not believe what the ghosts just found on a nearby island.”

“Is it a shower?” Neil joked.

Troy gestured behind him and Neil turned, his eyes opening wide, disbelief written across his face. He looked at two ghosts who were leading a live deer towards them.

“Where the fuck are these ghosts finding live animals in the world full of dead things?”

Victoria chuckled. “You’d be surprised by what makes it’s way in here. I totally believe there could be a shower floating around here somewhere that a ghost portal yanked out of someone’s bathroom.”

Neil shook his head. “I hope so because I’m starting to smell.”

He stood up and walked over to the deer, patting it on the head. After a moment of looking at it his eyes widened. “Wait, we’re supposed to eat this guy, aren’t we?”

The two ghosts nodded.

“Aw! Look how cute he is though. Can’t we keep this one? You guys will probably keep finding more random things in the ghost zone. We can keep eating fish.”

Victoria walked up to the deer as well. “We could probably use another live companion. I think this guy could boost morale around here. Give everyone something to look forward to.”

Troy groaned. “I’m so hungry guys.” When he looked at him they were both giving him a pleading face. He sighed. “Fine, fine. What are we going to name him?”

“Hm.” Neil thought, tapping his chin. “What about Billy?”

“I like that.” Victoria said.

“Okay, well, that’s settled then I guess.” Troy said.

“Welcome to the family, Billy.”

#gorgi writes #dannymay2021 #dannymay21 #dannymay #danny phantom #neil roaf #troy simpleton #victoria cavanaugh #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #phic

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coolabed-films · 3 years

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poggers this poggers that. who would say simp ironically & unironically

hmm ok i've let this marinate and i've been switching between finding contexts where every character would say simp and then also arguing that almost none of them would. at first i went on a bit of a tangent about connotations regarding the word so i'll simplify it now: poggers is very fun. it's silly! simp is inherently derogatory- whether jokey or not, it's meant to be an insult. therefore, when considering what community characters would say simp u need to look at more specific contexts wherein the characters are being assholes, and not in a more general capacity like i did with poggers- tl.dr; regardless of who would say this i do believe the characters only would when at their cuntiest <33 anyways with that disclaimer out of the way let's get into it (no i HAVEN'T thought too much about this fuck you)

easily, i can see britta saying it in the most scathing and derogatory ways possible because of course she'd take the opportunity to insult a man, even if the term stems from misogyny and patriarchal expectations because, er, men suck or something! don't think about it too much! ask not what you can do for misogyny but what misogny can do for u (create an insult to use against jeff, ideally in the exact same tone as when u told him he was bad at sex. girlboss) (feel a special need with this one to emphasise i am kidding and also do not agree with britta's messy ass feminism at least in this sense. moving on <3)

some people wish pierce were never on the show, except then who would overuse internet terms until they become unuseable??? check mate babes! he would have a vague understanding of it, as a good old-fashioned misogynist, so i could see him using it mortifyingly often as some kind of 'devastating' insult to jeff that moreso just makes everyone around him kind of uncomfortable like with his shitty gay jokes. alternatively, he could have a more limited, unexpected knowledge of it stemming not from the internet but general culture, which (did y'all KNOW) was using simp as an insult as early as 1923 -or 1946 depending on your interpretation- and meant idiot as it originated from the word 'simpleton'! yes i did research for this ask. shut up. im literally an annie kin i like to be thorough !!

whilst ms. dart absolutely would not say simp because she is a Professional, she would know what it means because she does her research, and she DEFINITELY thinks the dean is a simp even if she wouldn't say so (because unlike everyone else she tends to have like. things to do.) despite this i do think it would exponentially improve season 6 if she called dean a simp at least one. i think her matter-of-fact tone of voice saying simp would be both hilarious and devastating which would really add a certain je ne sais quoi to the stupid idiot honda scene specifically.

shirley would once again use it proselytise (u know who we should simp for? our lord and saviour jesus christ!) and annie, as much as a love her, can be a massive bitch so she absolutely would use it too but only at her lowest i feel. mulling it over, even if it would be out of character, i think she deserved to call jeff a simp for the way he acted in season six Actually </3 he could have done with a rude awakening like that. season one troy and his toxically masculine ass would absolutely say it all the time unironically but he's grown so i he wouldn't even jokingly season 2 onwards imo. he drinks respect women juice wbk

and finally abed simply wouldn't because he's too pretty for all that ❤️ as a bonus- duncan also would but mostly self-referentially (self-deprecating king) and maybe somewhat unironically with jeff. banter innit.

ok i think those are all my thoughts on the matter. unfortunately i don't have a handy chart for this since i've provided more narrow contexts for the usage of the word. sorry to disappoint all the chart lovers out there 😔

in conclusion: girl help my initially ironic poggersposting has becoming unsettlingly genuine simpposting :/ a mf will literally do anything other than her personal statement huh <//3

#btw i didn't mean to earnestly bring back poggersposting LMAO i just wanted to make a dumb post+ joke. but i'm glad ppl are having fun #also is this why no one sends me asks. because i tend to respond with unhinged overly long and embarrassingly earnest answers.#when taylor swift said im obsessive and crazy that was about me #anyways tumblr user benadir thanks for the ask and also. i apologise hdsjsdhkjdshjfd #i think it's on u for enabling me actually sooo /s #ask tag #benadir

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sammysdewysensitiveeyes · 3 years

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“What was the thought process?!”

“I don’t know any more than you do, Shaw! The Quiet Council put this mission together!” Somehow, even when they should have been commiserating, Sebastian managed to make his complaints sound like accusations. Well, absolutely no damn part of this was Pyro’s fault.

“Of course, that pack of simpletons can’t be bothered to do things properly. It wouldn’t matter if it was just you, but I will not be treated like a cheap lackey.”

“Will you kindly shut the fuck up for five minutes, Shaw?” Pyro demanded, looking at the map. Sebastian, for all his complaints, had not deigned to take charge of it since they’d come through the gate 30 minutes ago. “There’s the mountain. Our contact should be somewhere around here.”

The mountain loomed dark and ominous over the grassland, with an actual black cloud obscuring its peak, like something out of a cartoon. There was obviously something nasty up there that needed to be dealt with. Strange dark tendrils curled down the rocky cliffs, and there were reports of eerie wailing at night. It wouldn’t be Krakoa’s problem, except there was a mutant living nearby who refused to relocate to the safety of the island. So they either had to deal with the problem, or convince the mutant to move out of harm’s way.

Except the mutant in question was nowhere to be found. Just peaceful grassland as far as the eye could see, with the mountain swelling up from the landscape like an ugly blackhead. Off in the distance, Pyro could see a group of horses grazing contentedly.

“Our contact couldn’t be bothered to meet us at the gate. We should have just turned around and gone home. I don’t know why Krakoa should lift a finger for a mutant that refuses to come to us. He chooses to remain on the outside, he should accept the responsibilities of – “

“Hey, fellas!” A shout interrupted Shaw’s rant.

Striding up to them was the most heart-breakingly beautiful young man that Pyro had ever seen. White-blond hair, perfectly formed features, and obvious muscles bulging under his flannel shirt, he looked like he’d strode right off the cover of one of Pyro’s own novels. Usually Pyro preferred his men a little more rugged-looking, like Dominic’s wonderfully rough features, but he was suddenly fantasizing about this young man emerging from a lake in a see-through white shirt.

Oh shit, what if he was a telepath? What if he was yet another Frost sibling? Pyro shoved the image out of his mind, and thought very hard about a Youtube video he’d seen earlier of a penguin falling over.

“I suppose you’re the contact?” Sebastian demanded. He was walking right up to Eros-given-mortal-form while Pyro stood transfixed, and it was like watching an ogre charge an elf. Pyro had to fight the urge to leap between them and drive the beast back with a flaming sword. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to inconspicuously smooth it down.

Fucking hell, Allerdyce, get ahold of yourself. Shaw will never let you live it down.

“That’s right,” said the cup-bearer Ganymede, who would surely be carried off by Zeus soon. Even his voice was beautiful, his Southern accent giving his words a musical lilt. “Sorry I wasn’t right there at that big funny-lookin’ gate, I got worried about the herd. Whatever’s up there is bad news. I’d check it out myself, but I don’t want to leave the horses. Who’d take care of them if something happened to me?”

“Yes, yes, of course you have a noble reason for cowardice,” Sebastian said, waving a hand dismissively.

“And anyway, it’s our job, that’s why we’re here,” said Pyro, stepping forward. He realized that he had put himself just slightly between Shaw and Paris of Troy. “We’ll get it all sorted out for ya,” he added, giving the young man a friendly smack on the shoulder.

“Well, that’s a doozy of an accent, isn’t it? Where you from, England?” Thankfully Prince Charming had missed, or chosen to ignore Sebastian’s completely unecessary dig.

“Australia, actually,” Sebastian interjected before Pyro could speak. “And I imagine you’ve greatly offended Allerdyce’s national pride by mixing the two up.”

“Shucks, I’m sorry – “

“Oh, no!” Pyro exclaimed. “Not at all. Very similar accents, easy to mistake.”

“You’re the ones who say g’day, right? Like Crocodile Dundee!”

“Yes, exactly!” Pyro beamed. He’d started bar fights over being called Crocodile Dundee. Or being called British. Sebastian raised an eyebrow at him.

“I’m Pyro, by the way, and Oscar the Grouch over there is Sebastian Shaw. You don’t have to be nice to him.” He shook the young man’s hand.

“Anyway, I’m your ride,” the Adonis said,with a shy smile. “I can get you up to the top of that mountain, lickety-split.”

“Oh, teleporter, are ya? That’s right handy,” Pyro said.

“Or he could be a speedster, let’s not jump to conclusions, Allerdyce,” Sebastian put in.

“No, it’s something a bit different than that,” said the divine creature carved from marble and bathed in Apollo’s fire. He shifted suddenly, his torso stretching and changing in a way that reminded Pyro of Mystique. And then there was a winged centaur standing in front of them, and Pyro wondered if he’d fallen into Narnia. Or maybe that one book, with the kids and the Tesseract.

“My mutant name is Eques, but you can call me Danny if you like.” Pyro tried not to gape. Somehow, the winged horse form had made the other mutant even more attractive, and Pyro wasn’t even into horses…but he was starting to understand the teenage girl obsession with them. “Danny’s” clothing had disappeared as he shifted (one of the X-Men’s unstable molecule suits, no doubt), and now he was….basically naked. Horse form meant all the important bits were hidden, but still. Pyro pinched the inside of his wrist very hard and tried to think about cricket.

“Oh, shape-shifting,” Sebastian said, sounding mildly bored. “I suppose that’ll do. But surely there are more practical…and larger things that you can change into.”

“I’m afraid not,” said Danny, biting his lip and pawing with one hoof on the ground in a way that was positively adorable. “It’s a very specific mutation. I can turn into this and only this. But don’t worry, I’m strong enough to carry you both. We can fly up.” He flapped his wings for emphasis.

Sebastian rolled his eyes.

“Really? Have we crossed over into some children’s cartoon?”

“C’mon Shaw, he’s here to help us. Of course, you can walk up the mountain if you prefer,” Pyro said.

“Oh no, I wouldn’t dare leave you alone with him,” Sebastian said, smirking at Pyro, who scowled back. “Who knows what you two would get up to? Besides, it’s better than the hike. Marginally. Let’s get this over with.”

Before Pyro could protest, Sebastian had lifted him up by the shoulders and plopped him unceremoniously on Danny’s back, then climbed on behind him.

“Sure we aren’t too heavy for ya? I know Shaw here must weigh a ton.” Pyro leaned in to speak in Danny’s ear, and tried not to notice how centaur’s thick, shimmering hair, radiant in the sunlight and making Pyro’s own golden locks seem like tarnished brass, smelled faintly of eucalyptus.

Should I compliment his hair? Maybe ask what shampoo he uses, pretend like I want advice? God damn it, St. John, snap out of it and act normal!

“Not all, fellas!” Danny exclaimed, with a bright, guilless smile. “I’m strong as a horse, too, this is nothing. But you’d better hold on as I take off, wouldn’t want you to fall.”

“Where should we, uh….” Pyro faltered. Much as he wanted to slip his hands over Danny’s muscular chest (for safety!) he didn’t want to be a creep. Also, if he wasn’t careful, his….interest…would start to become noticeable in the most humiliating way possible.

“Oh, anywhere’s fine, just hang onto me as best you can,” Danny drawled. Before Pyro could lift his hands, Sebastian reached forward, wrapping his arms around the centaur’s waist and squishing Pyro between them.

“Get off me, Shaw!” Pyro squirmed, pressed against Danny’s back, with Shaw’s massive, unyielding bulk behind him. God damn it, he was now dangerously close to being caught between a rock and a….hard place.

“Stop whining, Allerdyce, this is the best way to ensure we both stay on. I certainly don’t trust you to hang on with those weak arms of yours. We are secure, Eques. Proceed.”

“Why’d you even take the back, then?” Pyro demanded, but his question was answered as Danny leaped into the air, flapping violently. The wings beat hardest around Pyro’s head, powerful back muscles twitching uncomfortably against him. Well, at least having Sebastian Shaw’s gross, sweaty body pressed up against him, smelling faintly of fuck-you Rich People Cologne, was enough to kill his would-be boner quite dead. Especially with Sebastian’s no-doubt obscenely hairy crotch up against his rear, with –

Wait a minute. What was that?!

“Shaw, what the hell?” Pyro turned slightly, but Sebastian gripped Danny tighter, pushing him back forward. The hard object pressing against his ass shifted.

“It’s my cell phone, Allerdyce, for God’s sake. No need to jump to conclusions just because you’re all hot and bothered.”

Pyro wondered whether it was possible to set Sebastian on fire without hurting Danny. Just a little bit on fire. And then if he fell, it wouldn’t be Pyro’s fault, right?

“Gosh, this is kinda fun, fellas!” Danny yelled above the roar of the wind. “I’m always out here with the horses, and that’s just how I like it, but it does get kinda lonely. I don’t get to see other mutants very often.”

“Well, I’m sure you’d get a warm welcome if you ever came to join us on Krakoa,” Sebastian said. Pyro slammed an elbow back against him, but Sebastian just gripped tighter.

“Don’t even think about it, Allerdyce,” he said in Pyro’s ear. “I’ll take you down with me, make no mistake of that.”

“Say, Eques,” Sebastian called up in a louder voice. “Have you ever met Emma Frost? Let me tell you all about her, I’m sure you’d have a great deal to…discuss.”

Pyro fumed quietly, and fantasized about Sebastian smashing into the jagged rocks below for the rest of the trip.

(OOC: I don’t know what Eques should sound like, but I saw he was from Texas and wound up writing him like Cannonball. Since he’s always so isolated with his horses, I could imagine him being very naïve, but also very friendly.

Pyro is intensely thirsty, and failing to play it cool, but can you really blame him?

I have no idea what’s on top of that mountain. Let’s just assume that Pyro, Sebastian and Danny are going up to Midnight Castle to fight Tirac with the Rainbow of Light, and if you understand that reference you win a million 80’s nostalgia points.)

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artyrogue · 3 years

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Blind Date Gaming: The Addams Family

You all know PRANG, my Pseudorandom Number Generation matchmaker? Well, it recently gave me this weird questionnaire to try and set up a date more suited for my odd personality. I happily filled it out, hoping for a real connection to be made with my next game date. We fed it through the sketchy scantron machine attachment that somehow got grafted to PRANG's chassis and, after an ear-splitting buzzing that may have made me slightly deaf, the results were printed out. They dictated that I needed a real family game. I guess that triggered something special in PRANG, as it quickly flipped around and grabbed what I can assume totally wasn't the first title in its game list with the word 'Family' in it: The Addams Family!

Man, computers are too complicated for simpletons like me. Well, let's get datin' and see if this is a match! I started the game as what I can only imagine is a chubby, tiny clone of Gomez Addams. I mean, why else would all of the house decor be the size of 2.5 Gomezes? (Is that a unit of measurement? Well it is now)

He's small, but can jump like 3 Gomezes in the air! He's like the Jack Russel's of 90's characters

So you run around your house looking for sub-areas, throwing daggers that go about 2 Gomezes in front of you before disappearing. Enemies lurk at every step, and boy are they horrifying! Mostly in how crappily they are programmed and placed. Bats flap to your level and never deviate, pretty much ensuring you get hit. Ghosts constantly spawn and may be right on staircase tops, meaning you get hit as soon as a map loads. You can jump on some enemies to stun them but like you have no indicator what can and can't be given the ol' hop-treatment.

I'm not sure if this guy wants a hug or is holding a really heavy invisible box

None of this would be an issue if you didn't have limited ammo. From the get-go, your knives are all you have. In a boss fight and run out? Well, go commit suicide, because you can't do anything. Fun! The bosses are alright, though. Most are too easy, but they are definitely interesting. Like in one case, there's this bear that cannot attack you if you jump behind it. In another, the Grim Reaper's best weapon is spitballs? I feel like there's some lost lore here in the Addam's Family universe that needs fanfic-ing.

Still waiting for this model to be offered at Build-a-Bear Workshop

When you beat a boss, you rescue a family member and get a cool new item. Usually, they're weapons of some sort, but some instead help you to traverse the world. While this could have been a nice progression system, there's really only one place where this is required, and instead progress is tied to how many family members you have rescued. Only THEN do random doors in your own house become accessible. I think Gomez needs to install those doors with open-able locks that constantly prevent my toddler from dying alone from starvation in most rooms of my house because she doesn't know how to unlock locks she's already locked us out of.

Your gratitude is well-received, Lurch my man. But can we talk about what the heck some frozen water is going to do besides get my pockets wet in like 5 minutes?

There are also small potion powerup things that transform you into typical movie monsters, but none are really super-interesting. Regardless, I get through a bunch of ho-hum platforming levels, collect my fam, electrocute my brother some more (as is tradition), and make it to the final level! This level is akin to the final level in Super Mario Land 2 in that it is long, filled with neat traps, and pretty rough. I do like the decor, though, what with buzzsaws, unmarked falling spike chandelier things, and amazingly large guillotines.

I may be an Addams myself because these little death traps actually made me smile a bit. Very cute, level designers! I like your chops!

So after I boogie down his gauntlet of Super Meat Boy paraphernalia, I at last make it to the final boss's room. And he's...some...guy? This is probably a dude from the movie, but I haven't seen it in years, so I have no clue. But like legit all he does is stand, jump, and throw knives. Well, two can play that game! No really, I mean like, that's literally all I do, too. En guarde!

Oh hey, Troy McClure is in this game, too!

So we have the lamest version of the Dark Link fight from Zelda 2 ever and I end up on top. I save my wife from what appears to be some killer soup stock? Sorry honey, I won't get to experience your umami tonight, we gotta bury this businessman's corpse and stop Lurch from overheating the fridge's icemaker. Oh, but where are my manners, caramia? Let's catch that ending sequence first! What should we do with the rest of the Addams Family now that we have secured their freedom?

I like that, of all action verbs at their disposal, they chose 'throttle'.

Brilliant. Well, that was a quick jaunt. Not great, but also not horrible? I probably wouldn't try to date it again, but that's more because I feel I've experienced all it had to offer. Gomez should either find some super mushroom or hire a better home decorator who isn't a giant? But knowing the Addams Family, they probably know literal giants. Whatever, he probably need a stool to reach his toilet, but that is all his choice. As for you, your choice is whether or not to take this Sprite of Passage. (I'd say do it! You earned it!)

I feel like the manager made the enemy designer give him 2 pitchforks because he wanted the boss to at least appear SOMEwhat spoopy, but didn't have the heart to tell the designer to start over

BONUS: I feel like sharing this music track from the game because I think it's absolutely baller: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlTNNOeX-E0&list=PL5YdbMaKCdoiF4XkX-ac-4M9QU1UPjlmq&index=5

Also, because I am amazed that it exists, someone's piano cover of it! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5XODMmPGh4

#blinddategaming #gameboy #addamsfamily

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fandomsbyladymelodrama · 4 years

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Ceo Draiochta

@salzrand - so once a long time ago, I watched this lovely little Irish/Canadian miniseries called “Random Passage” and one of the characters is a disgraced priest who quotes the first stanza of this poem to the woman he loves (but can’t let himself love because drama, ya know) and I was totally hooked because oh yeah, I have a type 😂 Sharing on here, because the Jorah/Dany vibes are wild in this <3 Through the deep night a magic mist led me like a simpleton roaming the land, no friends of my bosom beside me, an outcast in places unknown. I stretched out dejected and tearful in a nut-sheltered wood all alone and prayed to the bright King of Glory with 'Mercy!' alone on my lips. My heart, I declare, full of turmoil in that wood with no human sound nigh, the thrush's sweet voice the sole pleasure, ever singing its tunes on each bough. Then a noble sidh-girl sat beside me like a saint in her figure and form: in her countenance roses contended with white - and I know not which lost. Though lost to myself till that moment, with love for the lady I throbbed and I found myself filled with great pleasure that she was directed my way. How it fell, I write out in these verses - how I let my lips speak unrestrained, the sweet things that I told the fair maiden as we stretched on the green mountain-slope

"Are you, languid-eyed lady who pierced me with love for your face and your form, the Fair-One caused hordes to be slaughtered as they write in the Battle of Troy? Or the mild royal girl who let languish the chief of Boru and his troop? Or the queen who decreed that the great prince from Howth follow far in pursuit?" Delicious, sweet, tender, she answered, ever shedding tears down in her pain: "I am none of those women you speak of, and I see that you don't know my clan. I'm the bride wed in bliss for a season - under right royal rule - to the King over Caiseal of Conn and of Eoghan who ruled undisputed o'er Fodla. "Gloomy my state, sad and mournful, by horned tyrants daily devoured, and heavy oppressed by grim blackguards while my prince is set sailing abroad. I look to the great Son of Glory to send my lion back to his sway in his strong native towns, in good order, to flay the swarth goats with his blades."

"Mild, golden-haired, courteous fair lady, of true royal blood, and no lie, I mourn for your plight among blackguards, sad and joyless, dark under a pall. If your King to his strong native mansions the Son of Glory should send, in His aid, those swarth goats - swift, freely and willing - with shot I would joyfully flay!" "If our Stuart returned o'er the ocean to the lands of Inis Ailge in full course with a fleet of Louis' men, and the Spaniard's, by dint of joy truly I'd be on a prancing steed of swift mettle ever sluicing them out with much shot - after which I'd not injure my spirit standing guard for the rest of my life."

-Eoghan Rua O Suilleabhain's “Ceo Draiochta” (Translated by Thomas Kinsella)

#poetry #irish poems #ceo draiochta #jorah mormont #daenerys targaryen #jorah x dany #jorah x daenerys #jorleesi #<3

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argylemikewheeler · 6 years

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Why has nobody written that ST/IT crossover where troy and his friend are the first to find richie and they're like "hey frogface" and richie's like "who the fuck are you calling frogface?" and then troy's like "wow, now you have glasses? maybe it was all of that book squinting you do." and then it just becomes an insult fest and richie roasts the fuck out of troy and his friend (i forgot his name wow im terrible person) and then mike arrives and everyone is confused

i love this and you. here, take my brain’s first word dump on this:

Richie didn’t think he looked that much like Mike. He could see it, but not really. Other kids at school though, were easily fooled apparently. Especially those with only two brain cells to feebly rub together.

“Well well well.” Troy scoffed. He walked towards Richie like a cowboy with a full diaper– what a fucking dumbass. “Isn’t it Frogface.”

Richie was trying to peacefully smoke the cigarette he bummed from Billy’s dresser without his knowledge. But now, Troy was instigating Richie, which meant he had to fucking eat literal ash and be burned by his own words.

“Who the fuck you calling ‘Frogface’?” Richie asked, ashing his cigarette.

“Oh wow, James. Check out the binoculars Froggie’s got!” Troy pointed at Richie’s glasses with new found enjoyment. “Need ‘em from squinting at all those fucking comic books, nerd?”

“No. I need them so I can see who the fuck you think you are talking to. Because I know it’s not me.” Richie placed the cigarette back between his lips and inhaled deeply. This was why he smoked; it forced him to breathe.

“Oh, got some fire in you today, huh?” Troy laughed and still waddled closer. Smoke came out Richie’s nose as he laughed at his poor attempt to be tough. “What are you laughing at, Froggie?”

“Your terrible Clint Eastwood impression.” Richie hissed the smoke into his face. “You look like a damn fool, Troy. And James, come on– do you really take orders from this guy?”

“At least I don’t take orders from that little fucking fairy Byers!” James spat. It was a sad excuse for a loogie, landing on the grass beside Richie’s shoe.

“Yeah! He’s practically a girl!” Troy tacked on proudly.

“Why is that a bad thing?” Richie took another deep breath. “We both know a girl who emptied your bladder against your will.”

“We don’t talk about that fucking freak accident.” Troy hissed, pointing at Richie. “She did something with her mind.”

“Use it to think?” Richie suggested. “I know that’s a freak event for you two.”

“Fucking watch it, Wheeler!” Troy grabbed Richie by the shirt and hoisted him off the ground. Richie braced himself against the wall with his feet and tried to maintain a sense of composure. “So help me God I’ll smear you across the parking lot right now!”

“Watch yourself,” Richie held up his cigarette between his thumb and forefinger. “Don’t want to get burned by two fags now do we?”

“Don’t start mouthing off-”

“They’re called Lucky Strike because you are lucky enough to get a warning before your third strike and I put this out in your fucking eye.” Richie gritted, still trying not to fall from Troy’s grip.

“Where did you get these balls, Frogface? Where are you friends to do the fighting for you?” James asked. He pushed Richie and his head bummed against the wall.

“One.”

“Oh, tough guy thinks he’s going scare us? You’ve got nothing on us, Frogface!”

“Two.”

“Oooo I’m really shaking over here–”

“Richie! What’s going on over here?” Mike rounded the corner of the adjacent wall and gasped at his brother. “Put him down!”

Richie fell with unceremonious speed, cigarette still safe between his fingers. “You’re out.”

“Wh-What the fuck?” James sputtered.

“Where is she?” Troy demanded suddenly, whipping around in circles. He turned so quickly, the straps of his backpack slapped against Richie’s face. “Where’s that freak girl?”

“What? El has nothing to do with this.” Mike said sharply. “What are you doing to Richie?”

“We’re just twins you simpleton.” Richie said, speaking around his cigarette. He got to his feet and walked over to Mike. He immediately started brushing the dirt off the back of Richie’s shirt carefully. Their contact confirmed to Troy and James that they were both in fact real and tangible; their eyes seemed to expand in their heads.

“N-No. There’s not two of them.” Troy seemed to tremble with the thought. Richie was delighted by the fear and Mike seemed offended. Mike liked to think he was the palatable twin. “Great. More freaks.”

“Wait a minute.” Richie laughed. “Who are the idiots here that couldn’t tell us apart?”

“Shut it, Frogface!”

“I’m not Frogface, he is!” Richie pointed his nearly finished cigarette as his brother.

“Richie!” Mike huffed and slapped the butt out of his hand. “Don’t encourage him.”

“I’m inspiring creativity, Michael.”

“I’ll be sure to inspire some creativity in mom later when she grounds you for smoking.”

“You wouldn’t dare–”

“Both of you shut up!” Troy shouted, grabbing and clacking their heads together.

“Hey, don’t talk to my brother like that!” Richie and Mike snapped in unison. A terrifying first.

“Oh fuck this.” James scoffed. He turned on a dime and stormed away, leaving Troy, yet again, to look confused and scared out of his mind. Richie took pity on Troy sometimes; he was just so fucking stupid.

Richie suggested from then on that he and Mike would start wearing name tags. Mike of course told him it was stupid and yanked him by his ear to their car. Sometimes one twins just got all the brains and the humor.

ao3

#mike and richie twins #it and stranger things #it st #mike wheeler #richie tozier

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ask-thedepressedkidatthetable · 6 years

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❝ Seems both of us just hang around. ❞ Carl x Alex ... bc I’m pretty sure I just typed nick lmfao

CARO EMERALD STARTERS

“What do you mean?” Alex asked, hanging upside down by his feet and looking at Carl with the gaze of a simpleton who needed a haircut from the vantage point. Perhaps straps on hats weren’t so stupid after all. It’d prevent Carl from holding it at least.

“This was Nick’s idea. Next time, I want to listen to Troy.” Be bait he said, it’ll be fun he said, what a load of bullshit.

#avstens-indie #alex&carl

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salamangreatsunlightwolf · 6 years

Text

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand High School Musical. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also Troy’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from John Travolta literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike High School Musical truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Troy’s existential catchphrase “Getcha head in the game,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Jacob’s American epic Grease. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Kenny Ortega’s genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes, by the way, i DO have a High School Musical tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎

#shitpost #high school musical

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kingfallstranscripts-blog · 7 years

Text

Episode 17: Give Peas a Chance

Ben: I’m just saying, it’s a new year! Maybe we shouldn’t be talking about the same old subjects. Let’s take out a new lease on life…turn over a new leaf.

Doyle: And I’m just saying, Ben, that if there is a portal leading into my bathroom, and there is, then maybe more people should be aware, man.

Ben: I can’t…I can’t handle this. This is you, Sammy.

Ben: Not Ben! I mean, I am done! Nothing is happening in your house, Doyle!

Doyle: To be so open minded, you sure don’t want to expand your horizons and work with me here, Ben-Tin-Tin.

Ben: I usually only talk to people about real subjects, Doyle.

Doyle: Oh, it’s real. Real as can be. You’re just being a naysayer.

Ben: I’m not a naysayer.

Doyle: Oh-ho-ho, you’re naysaying for sure, bro.

Ben: I’m not a – Sammy, I can’t.

Sammy: Doyle, let’s get back to this portal or we’ll need to part ways for the evening.

Ben: Or forever.

Doyle: Alright, I feel you. So, I got this portal in my house, right. Craziest damn thing you ever saw.

Ben: And sometimes…late at night…

Doyle: You get it, boss man. So sometimes late at night, I wake up and gotta take a leaky-deaky, and it’s just sitting there in the bathroom door just a shimmerin and shiny. Looks like Willy Wonka just left a big fat golden ticket hangin in my door way.

Sammy: Uh-huh…

Doyle: Well. I only got one water closet, boys, and nature is a-callin. So, I pass through it and it’s all like SHHHEEERRROWOWOW –

Sammy: And *heavy sighs* Doyle, where does this portal transport you?

Doyle: That’s the thing… it takes me to my bathroom.

Ben: THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.

Doyle: But it’s not my bathroom… it just looks like my bathroom.

Ben: Because IT’S YOUR BATHROOM.

Doyle: Na-hooo, things have changed, bros…

Sammy: What’s changed?

Ben: You mean, other than listeners changing the station, Sammy?

Doyle: I can feel your negativity, Ben, and it’s comin in way hot. Like a bagel-bite fresh out of hell’s toaster. You’re harshin me, Ben.

Sammy: What is different after stepping through, Doyle?

Doyle: It’s like I’m in an alternate universe, Shot-Gun. I do my biz and I go to wash my hands, right? And AHYAYAYAYEBAWB0W- HOT IS COLD, COLD IS HOT. It’s done freaky Friday switcharooed me.

Ben: Jesus… BYE, DOYLE.

Doyle: Everything is reversed until I step back through the portal, boys.

Sammy: Okay, you know, thanks for calling and sharing, but –

Doyle: Oh-ho-ho. You don’t believe me…

Ben: NO! I don’t believe you! I think you’re stoned and sleep walking.

Doyle: Yeah? And I think you’re naysaying. Ain’t ever gonna bag Emily Potter like that, bro.

Sammy: Have a nice night.

Doyle: Totes. *hangs up*

Ben: Bag Emily? *scoffs* What’s that even mean?

Sammy: Okay, moving forward…

Ben: Right! Moving forward! Uh, we got some good stuff coming at the 5 o’clock hour. Jeanie Sherman from the King Falls Doggy Daycare will be chiming in on how to get your pets out of their post-holiday funk.

Sammy: That’s a thing?

Ben: That is a thing… I guess.

Sammy: Alright. Depressed dogs at 5am! We’re with ya. What do we have on tab now?

Ben: Uh, well – I mean…I kind of scheduled us a free period. I wasn’t sure if we’d blow through the Christmas Break news and… we did.

Sammy: Well we can only talk about Ms. Baker failing to make the world’s largest ginger bread house so much…

Ben: I agree, but it’s not particularly her fault. Apparently, the Williams Boys went in and ate a lot of load baring beams, so it was bound to come down.

Sammy: *laughs* Okay, give us a call, Kings Falls. Tell us how your holiday went and how you’re gonna kick ass on that New Year’s resolution.

Ben: We’re open to just about anything, folks! 424-279-3858 or give a tweet on the ol’ twitter machine.

Sammy: Looks like we got a taker already. Line 7, welcome to Kings Falls AM with Sammy and Ben.

Troy: Hey, fellas.

Ben: WE’RE BUSY, Troy.

Troy: You know dang well I’m listening right now and you two are just dilly-dallying until Ms. Sherman.

Sammy: How’re doing this evening, Troy? Keeping the mean streets of King Falls safe this evening?

Troy: Actually, it’s an off night. I was hoping I could come swing by the station and give Ben a little somthin…

Ben: Still this? Just leave it at the door and go!

Sammy: Ben!

Ben: Sorry, say hi to Sammy…and leave it at the door and go.

Sammy: Troy, we would love to have you in the studio to hang out. How far out are you?

Troy: Couple minutes away, Sammy!

Ben: You were already driving up here?

Troy: Well, yeah…just in case. *weird squeaking animal noise in the background*

Ben: What’s that noise?

Troy: I don’t hear nary a thing, Ben. See ya soon, buddy. *hangs up*

Ben: In studio, Sammy?

Sammy: He’s bring you a present.

Ben: Like the present Storm tried to bring us?

Sammy: Let’s hope not…

Ben: Let’s just… go back to the phones before he gets here.

Sammy: Power through, buddy. Line 7 again, you are live in King Falls AM.

*knocking on door*

Ben: Jesus! Already?!

Sammy: I’m gonna grab the door, you grab the call.

Ben: I’m gonna make an executive decision and just move the break to here. Be back in a minute!

(Commercial starts with political-type music)

Narrator: In two weeks come join King Falls AM at the Main Street Park for a special presentation.

Grisham: Hi, I’m Mayor Steven Grisham, and it’s that joyous time once again, folks. Come join myself, the King Falls Chamber of Commerce, and all our wonderful residents in commemorating a very special day in King Falls history.

Narrator: You are cordially invited to join us in celebrating our wonderful town being voted The Best Small Town in America by the King Falls Chamber of Commerce for the 7th straight year.

Grisham: Come on down Friday, January 15 and help us kick off another amazing year in our lovely town. There will be live music, fun and games for the kids, that weird food truck, and a special announcement by yours truly.

Narrator: The festivities begin at noon with a special ribbon cutting ceremony hosted by Mayor Grisham and King Falls AM’s own Sammy Stevens and Ben Arnold.

Grisham: So, come join the biggest party of the year! And let us all hope big number 7 is our lucky number:

(Welcome Back to 660 theme plays)

Ben: I’m not opening it! I-I don’t care!

Sammy: Can you guys please adult a little better?

Troy: 10-4, Sammy.

Sammy: Did you hear that ad, Ben?

Ben: Hear it? I had to help edit it.

Sammy: How do we get roped into hosting that rigged get together with Mayor Grisham?!

Ben: I told you about that…

Sammy: You most defiantly did not tell me about that.

Ben: Oh, I absolutely did! Because I didn’t know how you were gonna feel about being on stage with the Mayor… and Merv emailed and said we had to? So I was worried about the wording and – DAMMIT. I didn’t send it…

Sammy: I don’t wanna do this. You know how I feel about the Mayor and that ridiculous voting –

Ben: Sammy! Can you please adult a little better?

Sammy: *under his breath* Dammit.

Troy: Oh, you’ll have a grand old time, Sammy! All the residents come out block party style. There’s some damn good food and some damn good fun.

Ben: Yeah, Sammy. Plus, if you hang out a bit Chet usually gets plastered and starts playing saxophone and hitting on the soccer moms.

Sammy: Oh, so it’s just regular Chet.

Ben: Yeah, but in a public setting.

Sammy: It sounds like the best fake party a town could throw -

(Lots of static and cutting out – picking up on another transmission)

Ben: *between static barely audible* Don’t be like that, Sammy.

Beauregard’s Worker: *on another signal cutting in through the static* Yeah, it’s almost ready.

Beauregard: *through static* I don’t care how hard it is! Just make it work!

Worker: I’m on it sir, but, uh, last time we pushed it to the limit, i-it knocked the whole town off the grid for weeks!

Beauregard: Don’t tell me what it did. Show me what it can do. Do you need help moving that? Celestia! Wake the yard boy and have him help Thompson and this gadget.

Thompson: It’s okay, we don’t wanna move it until it’s ready –

Beauregard: I will not have this eyesore in my east wing for another night! Either it’s ready or it’s moving.

Thompson: I – uh, I’m sorry! It’s j-just not ready. Between this and school starting back up, I’m doing all I can!

Beauregard: Do more! You’re amassing a small fortune and my patience is growing thin…

Pete: Hey, Mr. B… *yawns* What can I do ya for?

Beauregard: Don’t just stand there! You simpleton! Help Thompson move the signal transmogrifier into the –

Pete: Ohhhhh! Is that the thing that caused the Electrolocaust?

Ben: *cutting back into transmission* Okay just because he can sit in on us doesn’t mean I have to open his late Christmas present.

Sammy: Guys, please! Take a couple calls and maybe you’ll change your mind.

Ben: What is this stupid thing anyway? This is a ploy!

Troy: I left it in the car, Ben. I don’t think you should be opening it live on the air, anyway.

Ben: Oh, I don’t think I should open it up at all. But let me tell you, if I’m opening your dumb gift, it’s gonna be live!

Sammy: GUYS! More phone calls, less arguing.

Ben & Troy: Sorry.

Sammy: Line 11 welcome to King Falls AM with Sammy, Ben, and special guest… Deputy Troy.

Troy: That’s off duty Deputy Troy tonight.

Caller: Hey,Shot-Gun!

Sammy: Hey…you…

Caller: Don’t wanna take up a slew of your time, Shot-Gun, but I think you guys just had your frequency hijacked or something.

Ben: What do you mean, sir?

Caller: Pirates! I was listening and then it just cut into something else!

Sammy: The commercial, you mean?

Caller: Don’t be silly! I know a paid advertisement when I hear one, Shot-Gun!

Ben: What was it? Music? What’d it sound like?

Sammy: Are you sure you’re tuned in properly?

Caller: Ha! And yes! It was just science-y sounds... just trying to do a service to my favorite AM station in the whole wide world! Haha! And I did!

Sammy: Uh-huh…okay, buddy, well thanks for letting us know.

Caller: Anything for the show, Shot-Gun!

Ben: Dude are you still –

Caller: Shot-Guuuuuuuuuun (makes noise like a car engine) Shammy! *hangs up*

Troy: I like that guy.

Ben: You would…

Sammy: Lucky Line number 1.

Ben: You’re live on King Falls AM with Sammy and Ben. Nobody else.

Caller: Boys I’m lost as can be. Like a grown man at a Miley Cyrus concert. Lost, I tell ya.

Ben: I guess we can try to help. Where you at?

Sammy: It’s Sweetser Forrest, I just know it!

Caller: I was headin up to my mama’s old place. I used to live up here in King Falls, but I’ll be damned if Abaline didn’t get me.

Ben: Hey! Good job, Sammy!

Troy: Who’s this we’re speakin to? You sound awfully familiar, friend.

Caller: Well hell yeah I sound familiar, Troy! You might know me back from my number 1 smash hit in 2003 “She Ain’t Worth the Car She Drove Away In”

Ben: NO WAY!!!!!

Troy: I am not believing this.

Ben: Dusty Reynolds?!

Dusty: As the census says, the one and only! How you fellas, doin?

Ben: Better now, man!

Sammy: I’m sorry. Who’s this we’re excited about?

Ben: This guy is a bonafide King Falls LEGEND.

Dusty: Legend might be a little high, heh, but I’ll take it.

Troy: Ol’ Dusty here left King Falls right after graduation and went off and became a big star.

Sammy: A big star?

Dusty: Now, now… I wouldn’t go that far, but you two go right ahead…

Ben: He was number 1 on the music charts, Sammy! AND he’s a hometown boy!

Sammy: Well that’s something! What kind of song was it? Where did it chart?

Dusty: The only two that do count: country and western.

Sammy: Oh! Okay…

Ben: Sing us a lil somethin’ Dusty!

Dusty: Well, I don’t think I should, but… ahem. ♪Well I know you loved him, back when he was a girl ♪

Troy: Oh, damn, he’s still got it!

Sammy: *softly* Is… is this real life? Are-are you guys messing with me?

Ben: What’re you doing driving back to The Falls is the middle of the damn night, man?

Dusty: I gave up the biz, Ben. Just cold turkey.

Troy: Shucks…

Dusty: I just lost sight of what made it special. Figured I’d come back home and try to find that spark again. Plus, Mayor Grisham hired me to sing a song at this thing in a couple weeks. No better time to start over than now.

Ben: You’ll be right back at the top in now time, buddy!

Dusty: You better believe it! I was just too happy… good kids, great house, wife as hot as road tar! I guess I needed to lose it all just so I could find my roots.

Troy: You sayin you and Gloria broke up? I ain’t seen a relationship change or status update or nothin.

Dusty: Oh, it’s all over the TMZ. I was out doing the country fair circuit and she was havin Javier our pool boy scrub way more than the jacuzzi… She took it all. My heart, my soul, even my dignity. Whitney Houston don’t know (censored)!

Ben: S-sorry to hear that…

Dusty: Well, you win some, you lose some. Dammit, that’s what I’m talking about! I need the sadness, hombre. I gotta get the blues back to go with my god-given rhythm.

Sammy: Well, welcome back home, sir. Wish it were under better circumstances.

Dusty: Thanks a lot, Dimond Dave.

Sammy: Actually, this is Sammy Stevens…

Troy: Give us a little encore before you go, Dusty.

Dusty: Come on, Troy! You know I shouldn’t! Ahem… ♪Hey there, spooky ghost, you better let me go! Hey there, spooky ghost, you’re see through ass is too slow! ♪

Ben: Never gets old! Talk to ya later, Dusty.

Troy: Later, buddy! We’ll hook it up once you get back and get settled.

Dusty: But- I really did need some help! *call disconnects*

Ben: Wow! Can’t believe that S-O-B is coming back home!

Sammy: *dryly* He sounds like a laugh a minute.

Troy: We had some good times back in the day… didn’t we, Ben?

Ben: Don’t use Dusty’s goodwill to wedge back into my life, Troy.

Troy: You know what, I’m real tired of goin round and round with you. Here’s the thick and thin of it: Imma give that present and if you don’t like it we don’t ever have to speak again.

Ben: You promise?!

Sammy: Guys… that’s an awful big promise to keep. Let’s all just calm down…

Troy: I mean it! Forrealsies! If you hate this thing, which I got outta the kindness of my heart, then we couldn’t stand to be pals anyway.

Ben: You just signed a check that you aren’t prepared to cash, Troy.

Troy: You just signed a check…well… I ain’t just gonna copy you, but… you messed up, future bud. BRB

(Sounds of Troy getting up and leaving)

Ben: Even if I love this thing I’m gonna –

Sammy: While I don’t agree you two should be putting your entire future on the line based on a belated Christmas gift… you should at least play fair.

Ben: Oh, I will. I’m just sayin… even if it’s good…

(Sounds of Troy coming back. Weird animal noises start up again)

Troy: Now, look, I got the box. But…I just don’t think you should do this live on the air.

Ben: Oh, it’s happening live! I want the entire town to hear the disappointment.

(animal noises getting louder)

Sammy: Is that thing supposed to be making that racket?

Troy: Google says it does. (animal continues) Here it is, Ben.

Ben: You serious? You’re not even gonna say “Merry Christmas”?

Troy: I ain’t squeezing out another syllable until you open that box.

Ben: It’s shaking, man. It’s shaking and making noises. I’m a little worried.

Sammy: Ladies and gentlemen, Ben has stepped away from his mic and is laying the box on the table.

Troy: Oh, I gotta get a picture of this!

Sammy: And now Troy is leaving his microphone and going around to Ben. Hey! Hey, don’t push him, Ben! Sorry. Ben’s opening the box now. If this was morning radio I’d hit the Brad Pitt “WHAT’S IN THE BOX?” button right now…

(animal noise stops)

Ben: NO (censored) WAY! (animal yips happily)

Troy: I told you! Didn’t I tell ya? Didn’t I tell him, Sammy?!

Sammy: Okay, for real, what’s in the box?

Ben: Troy… I…can’t believe it.

Troy: You folks listening at home can’t see, but I’m doing my best buddy two-step.

Sammy: Come on! What is it?!

Ben: I’m just…in shock.

Troy: Are we buddies?

Sammy: This is worse than the briefcase in Pulp Fiction…WHAT’S IN THE DAMN BOX?!

Ben: Troy… we are friends. Dude, I can’t believe it!

Troy: How bout a hug for old times’ sake?

Sammy: Don’t push it, Troy…

Ben: Bring it in, big guy!

Sammy: Alright, dammit! I’m gonna go look in the box, excuse me, folks.

Ben: This is the most thoughtful gift that anyone has ever given me. I’m…so sorry I gave you all this grief.

Troy: It’s alright. Hatchet buried, little buddy.

Sammy: What the HELL is that thing?!

Ben: Sammy, you remember Serendipity, right? That’s what this is! Troy got me a sugar glid-

Troy: AHEM! Cat!

Ben: What?

Troy: Well, I got you a new cat. I could never replace ol’ Serendipity the sugar glider no matter how much I wanted because as we all know, sugar gliders aren’t allowed to be brought into the state as a domestic pet.

Sammy: That is the weirdest cat that I’ve ever seen.

Ben: Right! A cat! The best friggin’ cat ever! Does he have a name?

Troy: You’re gonna love it: Peas! Peas the sugar gl-

Ben: CAT. Peas the cat…

Troy: Yup, Peas the cat. Partly cause he loves to eat peas, and…partly cause I was hoping you’d give peas a chance.

Ben: I need another hug, Troy! GET OVER HERE!

Sammy: *laughs* Okay, I think we’re gonna take a quick break and get this…cat out of the studio. Maybe if I can pry apart this bro hug I’ll tell Troy it’s actually “give peace a chance”… Maybe not. We’ll be right back after a word from our sponsors, folks.

#King falls #king falls am #kfam #Ben Arnold #podcast #transcript #sammy stevens #king falls am transcript

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tylermileslockett · 4 months

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The Five Ages of humankind

In Hesiod’s Poem “Works and Days,” he describes a lineage of the creation of humankind by the gods through five “ages.” They are as follows:

The Golden Age: In the time of Cronus the gods created the first race of humankind who …”lived like gods without sorrow of heart, remote and free from toil and grief.” (White) they lived in peace and fruitful abundance and were loved by the gods. This race fades away, becoming roaming, friendly daimon spirits to humankind.

The Silver Age: The next age is much less noble, where the mortals are simpletons and are subject to suffering from sin. They wrong one another and neglect their duties to honor the gods with proper sacrifices. In this age, Zeus comes to power, and he wipes away this race in disgust.

The Bronze Age: This warlike race is created by Zeus from Ash trees who …”Loved the lamentable works of Ares and deeds of violence”… and are …”hard of heart like adamant.” Their weapons and homes were of bronze, and the race eventuall falls to their own murderous bloodlust.

The Age of Heroes: Next, Zeus creates a race which is… “nobler and more righteous, a god-like race of hero-men who are called demi-gods.” Some of this heroic race is killed in epic wars of Thebes or Troy, while others live…”untouched by sorrow in the islands of the blessed along the shore of deep swirling Ocean.” Cronus, released from his bonds by Zeus, watches over these.

The Iron Age: Here Hesiod laments being a member of the fifth, (and current) age of humans who… “never rest from labour and sorrow by day, and from perishing by night; and the gods shall lay sore trouble upon them.” He describes this age as morally corrupt: neglectful of parents, violent, oath-breaking, and wretched.

Thanks for looking and reading! If you share this image ill place you into the golden category as a true divine ally! Xoxo 🤟😁❤️🏛

Support my book kickstarter "Lockett Illustrated: Greek Gods and Heroes" coming in early 2024.

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q-gorgeous · 3 years

Text

Neon

fanfiction

ao3

theres no canon characters in this theyre all ocs but thats fine

Neil was running. He had had to throw himself out of his bedroom window because he was finishing up reading something when he heard the door slam open downstairs and the pounding of feet were heard coming up the stairs.

“Come on! We’ve found another one with an ecto-signature!” They shouted.

Ever since his near death experience in high school, something had been different but he’d never been able to exactly distinguish it. All he’d known was that a lot of the ghosts that didn’t know him were more prone to talking to him and he was allowed inside Old Man McConald’s house now.

Just before his door had been slammed open Neil had made it out his window and down the tree to the ground. He started running.

All around him were ghosts flocking from all over the place. They seemed to all be heading in the same direction. He didn’t know who those goons in his house were, but he did know he was probably better off going wherever the ghosts were headed to.

They all turned around a corner and as he followed behind them he saw the ghosts diving into a swirling, green vortex. He stopped running and held back. What was that? That looked like it could be radioactive.

A ghost came running up from behind him. Grabbing onto his arm and trying to pull him with them. They were pleading at him with their eyes and he could once again hear the pounding of feet coming from behind them.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It’s not like he had a choice right now. There wasn’t enough time for him to get anywhere, especially not with these guys tracking them. Whatever this portal led to had to be better than the situation they were currently in.

He started running forward, the ghost still holding onto his arm, and together they jumped in.

As soon as he entered he felt gravity pull him down and he looked down so he could see where he was placing his feet, but there was no ground. Just endless swirls of green.

Panicking, he started struggling. The ghost pulled him up and carried him bridal style as they flew deeper into this mysterious world.

The sky was black but it was filled with many swirling looking clouds of many shades of green, some of them a bright neon color that seemed to illuminate the entire endless space they were traveling through. He was staring at a purple door when he felt the ghost suddenly shift. He turned his head to see they were heading to a floating island.

Once he was set down, he looked around. And to his surprise he saw other humans. How many of them had “ecto-signatures”?

As he kept studying the other humans that were here with him, his gaze landed on a familiar pair. His eyes widened and he ran over to them, throwing himself at his friend Troy, wrapping his arms around the other boy.

“Guys! What are you doing here? What’s happening in town?”

Troy hugged him back and Victoria spoke up beside them. “Those goons are capturing ghosts and trying to kidnap people they think are ecto-contaminated.”

“Yeah, but what are you guys doing here?” Neil asked.

“Part ghost.” Victoria said calmly before disappearing for a second and reappearing a moment later. “I have an ecto-signature so they came after me when I was visiting Mr. McConald.”

“Part ghost?”

“I’m here because she came to find me and tell me what happened.” Troy said. “She was going to leave without me but I wanted to come with. I couldn’t bear to not know what was happening.”

While his mind was still reeling at the “part ghost” mention, another heavy thought fell on his shoulders. “What do we do now? It’s not like we can go back. We won’t know when they’re gone.”

Victoria looked down. “I don’t know. We could find a portal that takes us out somewhere else or stay in here. But.” She said, pulling something from her bag. “I was to start with this.”

She held a device in her hand that she studied for a moment before pressing a button on the side. Out from the opening on it, a swirling blue blob came out and it formed into a ghost that Neil recognized.

“McConald? How?”

“This thing captures ghosts. They were gonna try to take him with it. I figured if they could take him, so could I, so I brought him with me.” Victoria said.

Old Man McConald looked around. “So this is the ghost zone. I’ve never had the pleasure to come here before.”

Neil watched as Old Man McConald looked at the three of them. He sighed and gestured for them to follow him.

“Let’s go see if any of the other ghosts have any idea what we’re going to do with you kids.”

#gorgi writes #dannymay2021 #dannymay21 #dannymay #danny phantom #neil roaf #victoria cavanaugh #troy simpleton #old man mcconald #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #phic #ocs #still wish i named neil neil roach #thatd wouldve been so funny #neon

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miloandthecalf · 4 years

Text

Review: Carson's Norma Jean Baker of Troy

Review: Carson’s Norma Jean Baker of Troy

Norma Jean Baker of Troy Anne Carson

Carson is a genius. An actual genius. She’s a Greek scholar, and a gifted poet and novelist. She’s also someone I’ve admired for years. In fact, I have a whole page of this website devoted to her.

Sometimes her work, which often mixes the ancient with the modern, can border on the too difficult for simpletons like me. But this play — a brilliant mash-up of…

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#anne carson #book reviews #books #female authors #poetry #recommended

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tylermileslockett · 4 months

Text

The Five Ages of humankind

In Hesiod’s Poem “Works and Days,” he describes a lineage of the creation of humankind by the gods through five “ages.” They are as follows:

Thanks for looking and reading! If you share this image ill place you into the golden category as a true divine ally! Xoxo 🤟😁❤️🏛

Support my book kickstarter "Lockett Illustrated: Greek Gods and Heroes" coming in early 2024.

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q-gorgeous · 4 years

Text

Doctor

fanfiction

i dont think im gonna finish dannymay this month but its fine i guess

Danny and his mom sat in the waiting room of their doctors office, reading magazines while they waited for Danny to be called back.

“Sweetie, are you sure you don’t want me to come with you? This’ll be your first appointment without me and I just don’t want you to-”

“Mom, no, I’ll be fine. I’m sixteen and it’s just a regular check up.”

“But-”

“Danny Fenton?”

A woman stood in the doorway of the waiting room, a clipboard in her hand.

“Are you sure?” His mom asked.

Danny stood up as he nodded. “Yes, I’m sure. I’ll be back in a bit.”

He walked over to the woman and she guided him through the doorway and into the hallways. Whenever he walked through here he always got turned around and was surprised to already being seated in a room.

“Wait right here and the nurse will be in in a few minutes.”

Danny nodded and sat down in one of the chairs. He looked around the room, idly bouncing his leg. It looked the same as the last time he’d been here. He didn’t even know if this was the same room or not. They all looked the same to him.

Soon a nurse knocked on the door. Danny made an affirming noise to let them know they could come in. A man around his parents' age walked in and gave him a small wave.

“Hey there, Danny! My name’s Mr. Simpleton and I’ll be your nurse today before Dr. Cavanaugh comes to see you. How are you doing today?”

“Pretty good, pretty good.” Danny said as he tapped his fingers.

“So.” Mr. Simpleton started. “It looks like you haven’t been to a routine check up in about two years, right around when you were fourteen. Has anything changed since then? Anything you’ve had concerns about?”

“Nope.” Danny said, popping the p.

“Alright.” Mr. Simpleton said, checking something off on his computer. “Let’s start with your height and weight. Take your shoes off and step onto the scale over there.”

Untying his shoelaces, Danny pulled his shoes off and stepped onto the scale and Mr. Simpleton adjusted the height bar.

“You are five foot seven and… One hundred and ten pounds…” The nurse furrowed his eyebrows, going back to his computer and typing it in. “Let’s move onto heart rate next.”

Danny moved to sit on the bed instead, watching as Mr. Simpleton put the stethoscope in his own ears and the end on his chest. After a bit Mr. Simpleton pulled the stethoscope away and headed back to his computer.

“44 resting bpm.” He said as he typed. “Let’s do reflexes now.”

Mr. Simpleton walked back over to Danny with the little knee hammer and gently tapped his knee with it.

Danny’s leg suddenly shot out, a bit of ectoplasm flying out of his shoe. Danny stared at Mr. Simpleton in horror as the man just stared at his foot.

“Possible… ectocontamination?” He said as he turned back to his computer.

“Wait, no!” Danny shouted. “Don’t put that in there!”

“Ectocontamination is nothing to take lightly. The GIW and your parents have both put out safety warnings and what we need to do to deal with it properly.”

“No you can’t tell them!”

“Why not?”

They stared at each other for a minute, Danny fidgeting in his seat while Mr. Simpleton studied him. The nurse's eyebrows furrowed for a moment before his eyes shot wide open.

“Okay. Well, I think that concludes the nurses examination. I’ll go file and finalize everything while you wait for Dr. Cavanaugh to come see you.”

He bundled up his laptop and stethoscope and started walking towards the door and opened it.

“Wait-” Danny started but was cut off as the door closed.

He sat and stared at the door, his heart rate increasing as he pondered what would happen. Did he leave? Did he walk out, find his mom, and tell her they were done? Does he pretend he was kidnapped by a ghost? What did he do?

Just as he was debating turning intangible and going through the wall, a knock sounded at the door and a woman with long, curly black hair walked into the room.

“Hi! Danny Fenton, right?” She said as she looked at her open laptop. “I’m Dr. Cavanaugh. I had some things I wanted to ask you about.”

Danny’s heart dropped and he slouched in his seat.

“You seem to have some fear and apprehension of telling your parents about your ectocontamination. Is there any reason for that? Do they make you feel unsafe at home?”

“What? No.” Danny said, furrowing his brows. “I mean, it’s more complicated than that. But my parents love me very much, they would never hurt me intentionally.”

“Intentionally?” Dr. Cavanaugh asked. “Have they hurt you unintentionally?”

Danny looked away. “I mean… I had an accident with the ghost portal. But! That was mostly my fault. My friends and I were goofing around near it when we shouldn’t have been.”

“When was this accident?”

“A little less than two years ago.”

“Hmm.” Dr. Cavanaugh hummed. “And you haven’t had a doctor’s appointment since then?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because. It wasn’t that bad. And my parents were so excited that the ghost portal was working, I didn’t want to ruin that for them.”

“Was there any other reason? Were you afraid?”

Danny narrowed his eyes. “What are you getting at?”

Dr. Cavanaugh cleared her throat. “Mr. Simpleton has reason to believe that you may not be in the healthiest environment due to… circumstances.”

Danny snorted. “Yeah? And what circumstances would those be?”

“Phantom.”

Danny stared at her as his heart stopped. They couldn’t have figured it out. He’s only been here half an hour! How could they have connected the dots to Phantom?

“Danny, not everyone is so in the dark about ghosts as you may have thought. Mr. Simpleton and I come from a haunted town where ghosts were free to mingle with the humans until an early unit of the GIW staged a raid.

“We know a bit more than the average Amity Park citizen. But there’s something more than that.” She looked Danny in the eye with a level gaze.

“We know that half-ghosts exist.”

“What?” Danny asked. “How would you-”

He stopped as he saw her holding her laptop with an invisible hand.

“I was born a half-ghost.” Dr. Cavanaugh said. “My parents dated in high school but my dad died before they could have a child. But my situation is more genetics rather than a mutation. You appear to have another form, suggesting that your ghost and human halfs are more separate, while mine are mixed together.”

“How… How did your parents, you know. How does that even work? How would it be possible?” Danny asked.

Dr. Cavanaugh shrugged. “Beats me. I just know that I’m here today.” Her gaze hardened and she continued speaking. “But you shouldn’t have to live in fear like you do. You’re a teenager, you shouldn’t be worrying about being captured or fighting all these ghosts. You should be doing your homework and hanging out with your friends.”

“Yeah, well. No one else can do the job properly.” Danny mumbled.

“But it’s not your job.”

“I’m the one who turned on the portal!” Danny shouted. “I’m the reason the ghosts are here in the first place! So I’m going to do my best to keep everyone safe.”

Dr Cavanaugh sighed. “It’d be fruitless to argue with your obsession, but myself and Mr. Simpleton will be here in case you need help. Whether with an injury or any stress you may be suffering from. Just give us a call at our extension.”

Danny rolled his eyes. “Okay. Are we done here then?”

She nodded. “Let’s get you back out to your mom so you can check out and go home.”

Together, Danny and Dr. Cavanaugh walked back down the halls and before he knew it, they were back out in the waiting room where his mom was still sitting, reading a magazine. She looked up and smiled at him.

“Hi, Danny! Done already?” She asked. She looked at Dr. Cavanaugh and held out her hand. “Hi, I’m Danny’s mom, Maddie.”

“Dr. Cavanaugh.” She reached out and shook her hand. “Danny’s all good to go. He’s got a clean bill of health and he has nothing to worry about.”

“Oh that’s good!” His mom said, ruffling his hair. “How about we go home now?”

“Please.” Danny said walking away towards the checkout counter.

Thanking the doctor, his mom followed after him. She signed the papers and got everything sorted. As they were walking through the doors, Danny mumbled a few words.

“I hate going to the doctors.”

#gorgi writes #danny phantom #dannymay2020 #danny fenton #maddie fenton #troy simpleton #victoria cavanaugh #phic #fanfic #fanfiction

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