#tumblr is safe. thats why im here. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

incorrectcreepypastafam · 3 months

Text

Creepypasta As DanAndPhilGAMES Quotes After The Revival

Toby: I’ve graduated into fuckland

Jeff: just stop speaking

Toby: okay

Toby: soft launching the gay

Jeff: I’m gonna hard launch you out of that window

Liu: know what I mean?

Jeff: no

Jeff: is it hard for you to speak sometimes

Lyra: did that work

Jeff: not really

Lyra: I tried really hard

Jeff: what is the most emo clothing we got here

Jeff: my brother, WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE

Lyra: look at this magnificent bitch

Brian: communities that shit together stay together

Jeff: I will try to be normal

Tim: where’s your mind at

Toby: where’s your mom at

Toby: and now I’m wet in this suit

Lyra: uhhhhhhhhhh

Lyra: you pissed?

Toby: I’m gonna stop breathing

Jeff: thank you, Toby, that’s a good volunteer

Ben: maybe they got struck by lightning

Jeff: where was the lightning bitch

Ben: I’m gonna haunt every generation of your family

Tim: should we take it in turns with the swinging?

Tim: that’s what someone’s mom said last night

Game: it’s been a long day

Liu, to Jeff: me sitting next to you

Brian: I’m grabbing my boobs

Sally: is it an alien or Squidward? What are we being chased by?

Sally: it’s hard for me to tell

Liu: THATS THE SHADOW OF THE ROSE ITS NOT A DEMON

Jeff: if that baby comes out I’m gonna kill you

Toby: I’d like that

Toby: you know what they say about big feet

Lyra: what

Toby: big socks

Lyra: okay

Jeff: half an hour montage of Tobias Rogers attempting to learn how to put on a cape

Toby: can you help

Jeff: no

Toby: and then I just saw some lightning happening in the microwave and thought “what a beautiful night for a thunderstorm”

Sally: I don’t do drugs I don’t know what grams are

Lyra: im hot I don’t know how to count

Jeff: maybe I am heaven

Sally, pointing at plastic spiders: that’s Ben. That’s Ben 2. That’s Ben 3

Liu: I’m gonna give us a solid 7/10 on that one

Jeff: just a seven? Are you fucking kidding me

Liu: I was being humble

Jeff: fuck humble

Jeff: do you ever reflect on our lives and just think… stop

Liu: yeah all the time

Tim: I wanna fuck the Eiffel tower

Jeff: dead people in France

Liu: STOP IT

Ben: im gonna hit you with a meteor

Sally: im gonna microwave you

Toby: can I just show you something

Jeff: is it a dead person in France

Jeff: im in my cougar era. Watch out twinks, Jeff is on the prowl

Lyra: I wanna do things to this house

Liu, through his teeth: what do you want to do to the house, Lyra?

Liu, through his teeth: respect the house, Lyra

Jeff: what happens when you tap the emo dragon

Liu: you want me to tap it?

Jeff: yeah

Liu: *taps dragon*

*g note plays*

Jeff: that’s damn right

Ben: I do not think playing this game is how Christ would want us to start his season but here we are

Jeff: but Santa would and so would his brother, Satan

Ben: okay

Jeff: I don’t own any sex toys that go chomp chomp

Jeff: but nice to know that you do

Jeff: I’d say Jesus Christ but I know he’s not listening right now

Toby: five strokes and you’re done

Jeff: that’s what they call me. Five strokes Jeffy

Jeff: who’s they? What am I saying?

*trying to figure out what lmb stands for*

Jeff: lobotomy maybe bestie

Toby: look mate… BITCH

Jeff: it’s making you more intelligent that’s why you’re winning at golf

Jeff: we finally found a way to fix you

Sally: you’re banned from friendship

Ben: this is a safe space

*literally five minutes later*

Ben: point at the guy who doesn’t know how to crouch

Lyra: I would like you all to tell me how I can be better at this game

Ben: um don’t walk down hole

Lyra: okay

*playing Lethal Company*

Jeff: Ben’s not here let’s have a party

Ben: please get back on the ship or I’ll be leaving without you

Jeff: we thought we found a wheel. It was a mine

Jeff: they’re both fucking dead as fuck

Ben, laughing: good job

Jeff: Tim, you’re a top bunk kinda guy right?

Tim: that’s not what Tumblr says

Jeff: is that brown Grimace

Jeff: what the fuck am I looking at

Toby: I’ve never watched an episode of My Little Pony

Jeff: no because you’re normal

Game: who invented the lightning rod

Sally: me

Lyra: what’s the opposite of tears

Jeff:

Jeff: piss

Jeff: and the moral of the story is

Jeff: fuck books

Jeff: get paper cuts

Liu: no

Jeff: what

Liu: stop

Jeff: oh I missed this completely

Liu: is there some kind of grimy wall from your childhood we need to talk about

Jeff: it’s you bitch

Lyra: I put up flyers for car washing. I washed someone’s car and then they said I scratched it with my rings. Why was an eight year old wearing rings?

Jeff: did they try to scam an eight year old?

Lyra: YES

Jeff: you should’ve killed them

Brian: I would give birth to a child on this

Tim: yes

Brian: I would eat the child straight off it

Tim: no

Liu: let’s just grab an apple and try our best

Toby: hey Siri what’s 25+6

Ben:

Ben: girl-

Ben: 31

Toby: 29

*playing Poppy Playtime*

Jeff, to a toy oven: come with me, Owen

Liu: Owen needs to stay where he is

Jeff: I will love you, Owen

Jeff: I don’t like to contribute I just like to judge

Liu: but, Jeff, what is a VPN?

Jeff: virtual private gnome

Liu: gnome begins with a g

Jeff: :0

Sally: everything is just too heavy

Sally: even milk like

Sally: why are you heavy

Lyra: honestly liquid needs to calm down

Lyra: you know what we say about

superstitions

Liu: that they’re not real?

Lyra:

Lyra: do you wanna fight

Toby: just like Sonic The Hedgehog we’re going speed dating

Toby: … as he was known to do

Ben: what

Toby: what fictional characters could we see here

Toby: what are you expecting

Lyra: I’m expecting an anime boy

Lyra: I don’t know who else

Toby: Bill Clinton

Lyra: okay

Toby: he’s real

Jeff: I don’t care if Mozart did this when he was five he’s a nerd

Liu, about baboons: they only live up to 30 years in the wild and 45 years in captivity

Jeff: oh my god you’ve only got a couple years left

Ben: life comes at you fast and so does Trombone Champ

Tim: unleash the babussy

Jeff: did you just g note me with a fucking trombone

Jeff: last time I lost my voice. I’m loud as fuck today you’re gonna wish I had

Lyra: they ate

Liu: okay

Jeff: I was 26 doing that on YouTube

Jeff: fuck yeah good for me

Jeff: did you know that we are celebrities

Toby: celebritenis

Jeff: we are vips

Toby: vipenis

Jeff: we are influenc-

Jeff: *vomit noise*

Jeff: what did you just say

Toby: vipenis

Jeff:

Sally: when I did 23andme it said I was 8% lobster and I think we all know why

Brian: I think I looked snatched

Toby: *dies laughing*

Brian: did I use that right

Jeff: look it’s hard being this pretty

Lyra, reading the question: if they were having a party, what would they serve

Jeff: cunt

Jeff: sorry

Toby: I mean anything could’ve slipped onto something

Jeff: what

Toby: I don’t know what I mean

Jeff: oh god

107 notes · View notes

imakemywings · 6 months

Note

I am on the feanorians side of the silmaril debate and do see Dior and elwing as thieves. And I hope you dont see this as an attack i just want to explain my reasoning for the way i see it. But to me at least the stealing of the ships is an entirely seperate thing that happened, I know it happened because the silmarils got stolen in the first place. But it has nothing to do with the Dior and elwing part of the silmaril story. And thats why I dont bring up the stealing of the ships when talking about this

And I feel like Dior and elwing are thieves because they have the feanorians most treasured family heirloom and are refusing to give it back to them. And I think calling them thieves isnt exactly right because they didnt steal it from the feanorians and luthien and beren didnt either but it is wrong of them to not give it back. And the feanorians did first write letters asking to be given the silmaril back. The feanorians were wrong in kinslaying to try and get it back, but I do understand how they got to the conclusion to do so. They swore an oath to get it back and if they dont they will be in purgatory forever, so they really do have this need of getting it back even without considering the fact that its rightfully theirs to begin with.

As for for Dior and elwings part in this, I have more understanding for Dior than elwing. Dior is a new king and not well known to his people. And the silmaril to him represent a great deed done by his parents and their love for each other and I wouldnt be suprised if the silmaril was starting to become as important to Dior and his people as it was to the feanorians. So him not giving it away makes sense it has personal importance to him and giving it away could mark him as a weak king which is not something he needs. And it is also the fact that we dont know how much he knows about the feanorians oath and what it means he may know nothing at all about it.

Elwing on the other hand is completely different, I do not understand why she does the things she does at all. I will just be discussing the lead up to the kinslaying and not what happens during it, because I have read posts saying that her mental health may have crumbled during it and I do concede they have a point. But that doesnt explain any of the lead up to it. The feanorians ask for the silmaril and she tells them no and its like doesnt she realize that just like last time this can lead to a kinslaying, like does the thought even enter her mind and I dont understand how she could not see it as the likely outcome bu then she doesnt prepare for the eventuality at all. Its so puzzling to me, shes the leader and responible for the safety of everyone there but she doesnt seem to care about it. She doesnt even send her sons to cirdan were they would be safe from the feanorians. For elwing this has all happened before and she does nothing to change what will happen and it doesnt make sense.

So yea im on the feanorians side in this because the silmaril is rightfully theirs and while they did bad bad things to get them back i understand where they are coming from. Something i dont understand with elwing.

Hey anon, I definitely don't see this as an attack; I do appreciate your reasonable tone here.

If you're interested in other more detailed explorations of Elwing and her motivations, definitely check out my Elwing meta tag, because others on on tumblr have done some great work there.

The point I think the other anon was making about the swan ships is that fans can be very quick to condemn Luthien and her descendants as "thieves" of the Silmarils, but say nothing about the Feanorians' theft of the swan ships. No, the events aren't related, but one is a much clearer-cut case of theft than the other, yet it's the one that's swept under the rug to attack those who stand in opposition to the sons of Feanor (SoF). But you're right, it's not relevant to discussing Dior and Elwing in relation to the SoF.

Luthien and Beren, at great personal risk, obtained a Silmaril from Morgoth. I think it's relevant to note that at this point, the SoF appeared to have no problem with Luthien having possession of the Silmaril. In fact, Maedhros takes heart from their success and by it is inspired to begin his efforts which culminate in the Nirnaeth Arnoediad.

First, let's recall Luthien's history with the Feanorians at the point that she and Beren depart Doriath after Beren is restored to life:

Luthien is aware of the Kinslaying at Alqualonde and the theft of the swan ships, actions of shocking violence by Elves against Elves, and the Noldor's part in trying to conceal it from her parents.

Celegorm and Curufin feign friendship with her when she encounters them on her quest to rescue Beren, only to then trap her in Nargothrond. Celegorm plans to wed her against her will, which strongly implies he also means to rape her, in order to force Thingol to open the Girdle to the Feanorians.

Celegorm and Curufin overthrew Finrod's chosen successor, Orodreth, and the Arafinweans had been friends of Doriath. She may or may not be aware that Celegorm used the oath to threaten the residents of Nargothrond, implicitly threatening violence against them.

After Luthien has escaped and rescued Beren from Sauron, she encounters Celegorm and Curufin again. Curufin attempts to kidnap her, and Celegorm then attempts to kill Beren when he leaps to her defense.

Celegorm openly makes threats against Thingol and Doriath.

So at this point, you can perhaps see why Luthien does not feel a lot of need to play nice with the SoF. From her perspective, they're pretty scummy people who are more than willing to commit violent acts against other Elves. At no point does Maedhros reprimand or punish Celegorm or Curufin for their actions, which as the leader of the Feanorians, suggests he doesn't think what they did was wrong. Why should she cooperate with them? They didn't risk their lives to obtain one of their Silmarils. If the Silmarils were as important to them as they claim, why haven't they tried harder? She and Beren, with far fewer resources, managed to do it.

Additionally, the Feanorians do not make any effort to reclaim the Silmaril from Luthien during her life. Possibly because she took down Morgoth (briefly).

"For while Luthien wore the Necklace of the Dwarves no Elf would dare to assail her..." (Of the Ruin of Doriath)

So she dies and the Silmaril goes to Dior, her son.

To Dior, the Feanorians are the unquestioned villains of his parents' story. These are people who openly threatened his grandfather's kingdom, who tried to force his mother into marriage and imprisoned her, who tried to kill his father. Sure, you can argue that they have an ancestral claim on the Silmaril--but cannot Dior also make that argument at this point? And what motivation does he have to cooperate with them? They do nothing to win his friendship, as they have done nothing to win the friendship of Doriath throughout their time in Beleriand. If Maedhros is such a formidable diplomat, why can he not come to terms with Dior?

"They [the Feanorians] came at unawares in the middle of winter, and fought with Dior in the Thousand Caves..." (Of the Ruin of Doriath, emphasis added)

Furthermore, to your point, Dior is a young king--and a mortal among Elves. Doriath is also recovering from the war with Nogrod; they are already in a vulnerable position, and with Melian gone, the Girdle is down, so they are far more exposed than they are accustomed to being and having to adjust to that.

So Dior does not relinquish the Silmaril, and rather than pursue the two held by Morgoth, the Feanorians assault Doriath, kill many Elves, throw at least two children out into the woods to die of exposure, and still fail to capture the Silmaril.

So Dior dies and the Silmaril goes to Elwing, his daughter.

Consider what the Feanorians represent to Elwing at this point.

These are Elves who have shown themselves to be unrepentant killers. We as the fans love to focus on the tormented regret of the Feanorians, but to their victims, they are simply killers. They committed slaughter in the Blessed Realm, for which they were exiled by the Valar, and for which they have expressed such regrets--except that they've gone and done the same thing here in Beleriand. They have threatened forced marriage, they have killed children, they have driven the Iathrim from their home and made them refugees. To Elwing personally, they are the murderers of her parents and the ones who dragged her brothers into the woods as children and left them to die.

What, precisely, might motivate Elwing to cooperate with them? So the Silmaril "belongs" to them--so what? They have tormented Luthien's line for generations now--the Feanorians ARE the Morgoth of Elwing's story. And she should give into them why? The Ring belongs to Sauron--should Frodo hand it over because it's his property?

Maedhros, who has apparently lost all diplomatic veneer, does nothing to show good faith or a desire to cooperate with Elwing. Instead, he writes with his demands, as he did with Dior.

The one thing--the ONE thing--that might make Elwing cooperate is, to me, solely to avoid another slaughter as happened in Doriath, as you mentioned. So in this vein, why doesn't Elwing surrender the Silmaril just to avoid trouble, even if she hates and distrusts the Feanorians? There are two things which are absolutely key to understanding this decision.

1.Elwing does not make the decision alone. Critics of Elwing often act as though she made a unilateral decision to withhold the Silmaril from the Feanorians--which is not the case. In fact, Tolkien writes that "Elwing and the people of Sirion" refused to yield the jewel under threat.

This is not an unusual response. Most people do not respond well to being threatened, and may refuse out of spite. Furthermore, these are people who were made refugees by the same people now making demands of them.

But more importantly, Elwing did not alone choose to keep the Silmaril. She and whatever Sirionites aided her in governing decided together that they would not give in to the Feanorians.

2. The second is that the Sirionites believed the Silmaril was protecting Earendil and the Havens. Remember that at this time, Earendil is seeking for Aman, to obtain the help of the Valar in defeating Morgoth. So not only is he the lord of the Havens at Sirion, but he is on a quest which is, to them, of critical importance. They need him to stay safe so that he can complete his mission and hopefully win Beleriand's rescue.

And to your point about Dior above--this Silmaril is effectively a family heirloom to Elwing as well.

The Sirionites are particularly loath to part with the Silmaril while Earendil is at sea--which makes sense, as he is a ruling lord of this city, and they believe his protection is somewhat dependent on their possession of the Silmaril.

But the Feanorians don't wait for Earendil to return to negotiate--they lay siege to the Havens at Sirion while Earendil is still away ("For the sons of Feanor that yet lived came down suddenly upon the exiles of Gondolin, and the remnant of Doriath" Of the Voyage of Earendil and the War of Wrath, emphasis added) and render the Iathrim virtually extinct as a people. Once again, they come down "suddenly" on another group of Elves and destroy them.

What the Feanorians do in the Havens at Sirion is so awful ("the cruelest of the slayings of Elf by Elf") that their own troops stand aside or even turn against them during the fight in an effort to defend the Sirionites; the Feanorians kill them too.

This, to me, tells us how far the Feanorians are from attempting any real diplomatic work here. They are not even considering the Silmarils that Morgoth still has; they have utterly failed to reach Elwing in a diplomatic or cooperative manner; they refuse to even wait until Earendil has returned so that he and Elwing can make a decision together, as joint rulers of this city.

Why doesn't Elwing fortify the Havens? We have no evidence that she doesn't. Only that it wasn't enough to stop the Feanorians. Why doesn't she send Elrond and Elros away? That poses its own risks--and she may believe they are safest there, as the Sirionites believe the Silmaril is protecting the Havens. It may be incorrect, but it is something they believe and they operate under that belief.

But even if you think she didn't do things she should have--does that justify the actions of the Feanorians? It's fine for them to murder because their victims didn't do enough to prevent them from murdering? You took our object so we can kill you for it now?

Putting all that aside for now, I want to jump over to the oath, because you mentioned something interesting about it:

They swore an oath to get it back and if they dont they will be in purgatory forever

Purgatory and hell do not exist in Ea. What exactly the Feanorians think their "punishment" for breaking the oath will be is unclear, whether it's just death without the chance for rebirth (as is the case with Feanor, and seems to be the most extreme punishment the Valar can or will enact), or something more. Clearly they put a lot of stock in it--but they also are not totally beyond the notion of breaking it. Maglor himself suggests after the Third Kinslaying that they should abandon the quest and plead their repentance to the Valar, but Maedhros refuses.

Maedhros seems to still believe they may suffer some punishment for breaking it--that Eru might actually hold them to the oath they swore. But Maglor counters with the notion the oath can be voided:

"Yet Maglor held back, saying: 'If Manwe and Varda themselves deny the fulfillment of an oath to which we named them in witness, is it not made void?'" (Of the Voyage of Earendil)

And of course, why would Manwe and Varda hold them to an oath which has caused so much strife, and which promises to cause more? Why should they desire the Feanorians to be held to an oath which causes them to murder and destroy other Elves? Maedhros refuses, still believing, or at least asserting, that some punishment by Eru awaits if they break the oath. Maglor somewhat grimly points out that given what they've done, punishment is their due one way or other other:

"'If none can release us,' said Maglor, 'then indeed the Everlasting Darkness shall be our lot, whether we keep the oath or break it; but less evil shall we do in the breaking.'" (Of the Voyage of Earendil)

Maglor acknowledges that they have done evil in pursuit of the oath and that they will continue to do evil if they do not choose to set it aside. Furthermore, that if they cannot be excused from the oath, they're likely to experience punishment either for breaking it or for the things they do in pursuit of it, so it's all the same in the end anyway. Yet Maedhros and Maglor instead make a free and conscious decision to continue their pursuit of the Silmarils.

They are a) well aware that they have done horrible, awful things trying to fulfill this oath; and b) aware that breaking it is an option. They choose not to. They have chosen not to this entire story.

And truthfully, even if they would be condemned to purgatory or whatever, it doesn't justify what they do. They chose to swear this oath, they have chosen to pursue it, and if they are willing to slaughter whomever they need to to protect themselves from the consequences of their own oaths, that still makes them selfish, wretched people who are willing to sacrifice anyone else to make sure they themselves stay safe.

Even if they were able to obtain the one Silmaril from Elwing, the oath is not fulfilled. Morgoth still has two. Everything they did to Doriath and the Havens at Sirion is worthless without the other two Silmarils, but they did it anyway; and even after the chaos wrought by their actions there, go ahead and slay Eonwe's guard after the War of Wrath to steal the Silmarils everyone else had rescued from Morgoth.

The Feanorians have done so much wrong that the Silmarils themselves reject them by the end. I don't know how else the narrative could make it clearer they are in the wrong. Tolkien implies that the oath was wicked from the very start, and always bound to lead the Feanorians into wrongful acts.

Lastly, I will point over at this meta I wrote a few months back about how if the Feanorians had obtained the Silmaril from Elwing, it would likely have doomed Middle-earth to Morgoth's rule.

In any case, I don't think anyone who escalates a situation to murder is ever in the right, and certainly not over something like property rights. If you can sympathize with the Feanorians about their perspective, you should be able to consider what the Feanorians are to the perspective of Luthien's line--and why they are not keen to work together with the Feanorians or give them what they want.

Not sure if you found any of this convincing, but I hope it's something to consider at least!

#asks #anonymous #elwing defense

86 notes · View notes

ufoend · 1 year

Text

∆ please help us

we can not afford any of our basic needs

i usually try to keep this as light as possible, but i have put this off for long enough that i have to post this. me and my partner desperately need help. we are just two gay people trying to make it alone here with absolutely no support system.

who we are: im j (or jet), im 24 year old trans guy whose had this account since 2014. i married my partner in 2018, we even met on tumblr when we were younger, we've been together for years. my partner is disabled (diagnosed with autism and seizure disorder and others)

what we need: our cat had an emergency surgery two years ago that means he needs to be on a prescription diet (hills urinary food) for his entire life. the vet suddenly said we need to bring him in again to get his prescription renewed and we cant order any more food for him until then, which he will not survive without, and he is not allowed to eat any alternative food without risking his life. we have less than half of a 8 lb bag of it which will not last him through the next month. with the vet, food, and ubers to get to the vet and to the only place they sell the food = 200

to try to summarize our situation, we were kicked out by family and made officially homeless for the first time last year. this is right after we moved across states (wa to az) to support my partners family upon their request, only to be subjected to abuse and kicked out directly due to homophobia in an unfamiliar state after a few months. this left both of us and all of our animals entirely homeless. we luckily have an apartment now but our situation is still not okay. we lost all of our belongings at this time, everything, and have not been able to replace them as we have fixed income. my partner is especially affected by this situation, as it was traumatizing, and they have just had to power through trauma after trauma because of poverty, more than i can say.

i also have severe dental problems that are not covered by medicaid in az and i have no way to afford. this includes wisdom teeth, root canals, and many cavities that will turn into that crazy expensive treatment if i don't fix it. some may remember this (+this). i was only able to have a little bit of work done before we were homeless and one root canal failed. i cant keep ignoring it, because they are worried about two of the cavities becoming root canals, and i want to prevent another infection, but thats at least 250 each.

we are still not going to be able to afford rent in future months because our EBT was delayed last month and i had to spend money we don't have to afford anything, and now we are in serious jeopardy even affording rent, let alone bills. our pets (2 cats 1 small dog) also desperately need vaccinations, which is dangerous to keep going this overdue without with their health problems. our dog has also been limping for the past week and he needs to be seen when that is ever possible.

any donations would go first to the vet appointment and cat food, then the other needs in order of priority. will keep updating this, i know its a lot and i really don't expect anything, i am begging for help with any of this

we are both students, we are trying to work towards stability, while being stuck here. i do everything i can to bring in money to support us on my own. we make 200 less than rent is monthly. i am in school to become a caseworker so i am aware of a lot of resources in my area, and have applied for everything, but we can not do this alone which is why i have to ask for help. i am so sorry for having to do this but i appreciate any support that i do have because of this website. you guys literally save my life. helping out other poor people and getting helped out on here has been the most compassion ive ever been a part of. dollars, even pennies, worth of donations has kept my cat safe, has affected me in real ways. it actually matters to us, no matter the amount.

thank you anyone who reblogs, donates anything, or reaches out.

p*ypal email (best): [email protected]

v*nmo: @tobler707

c*shapp: $tobler707

#date: 11/3/22 #signal boost #please reblog #please help #please read #please boost #i may have to make a tldr of this and just link to it since there is no way i can explain all of this in any shorter way #so hard to make this shit #i hate having to beg for my life forever #so sorry to my mutuals #thank you if you always boost me #cats #dogs #vet care #vet costs

1K notes · View notes

vynlqwv · 1 year

Note

Saw your requests were open! Sorry if this is like, cringy? But maybe a denji x reader (ft Nayuta) where denji realizes that he likes reader, and not in a lustful way, like he feels safe around her and all that cute shit he deserves? Thank u!

"𝘙𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘴, 𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵."

a/n : hello!! this is oficially my first ever csm fanfic i've written or you could say firsg ever fanfic that i've made. Please give feedback on what you think about this fic!! Thank you so much for ur request! <3

(WARNING : MANGA SPOILERS!! , insecure denji )

denji x fem! reader

For all these years, denji felt he was destined to be lonely. All denji wanted is to have a normal life, yet his life even became more ruined after he met makima.

His luck with love is shit, why does every woman that he ever met only wanted his chainsaw heart but not him? what was he lacking that other guys have and he dosen't? is he not good enough? those thoughts run over his head while suddenly, he heard an familliar voice.

"𝙃𝙚𝙮 𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙟𝙞, 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙤𝙠𝙖𝙮?"

he looked at the direction where the voice came from, it was you. he spoke up and said "oh i'm fine, how is nayuta doing?" he said with a soft voice "she's sleeping soundly with the dogs beside her." y/n said while lowering her head to rest against the glass lining of the balcony.

God, she look so mesmerizing right now. He looked at her and observed her features. "you're really pretty." he musters out, barely audible. "Did you say something, denji?" she lifted her head up from the glass lining to face denji. "N-no! im okay!" he sputters out, embarrased. "Oh crap! i'm gonna get going now denji, it's really getting late and i still have some stuff to do, see you tomorrow! i promise to come over here again! Goodnight denji."

He watches her leave the apartment, was she always this pretty? considering it, she was always there for me even through the rough times that he's been through. Am i inlove? for real this time? i get so shy around her and my heart feels like its about to get out of my chest! god, can a guy ever get a break?

The next day comes by quickly, denji tiredly went to the couch and immidiately rested his head against y/n's shoulder while nayuta is in her lap watching tv together. "Oh hey denji! how was your day at work?" she beamed, eyes lighting up with join seeing him. that has gotta mean somethinf right? does she enjoy talking to me? "it was alright, i tried to do work quickly as possible but those damn devils kept on wasting my time." he sighs as he burries his head in your neck.

"Hey y/n, what do you think of me?" he randomnly says. "What do i think of you? I think of you as a person thats really important to me, i will always tey ti help you no matter what situation in you're in. cause i love you." she says truthfully but she mumbled the last part, hoping he wouldn't hear it.

"You love me?!" he bolts out in surprise, startling a sleeping nayuta.

"i feel the same way y/n, i love you too"

first fanfic in tumblr ☹️☹️💪💪💯💯

i do not own any of the characters in chainsawman.

#denji x reader #denjichainsawman #denji fluff #denji headcanons #denji fanfic #denji x you #csm #seventeen fluff #relationship #cute art #chainsaw man denji #hayakawa family #nayuta #x reader #csm x reader #female reader #reader insert

552 notes · View notes

what-do-bunyips-look-like · 10 months

Text

This crab day thing has gotten so frustrating so fast. The person who suggested it is an anti-abortion anti-feminist right wing christian transphobe. Many of the people spreading additional posts and info are ALSO anti-abortion right wing christian transphobes. Seriously. Start clicking their blogs when you see these posts. Search "abortion" and "feminism" and "trans" and "gender" and "groomer." This is really easy to confirm. But people don't give a shit because "crabs fun." okay.

And its not like people aren't aware of it at this point. Search "crab day" on tumblr and a good chunk of the results are asks saying "hey btw crab day was started by a transphobe/right wing christian." and most of those people have responded with something along the lines of "Um okay but like its a good idea though??? You guys can't even collaborate with conservatives for like a second to achieve a political goal? UGH this is why nothing ever gets done 🙄." or "Um okay but like that post had nothing to do with their political beliefs. so like its fine lol. Crab fun." Or "oh no omg im so sorry thats so gross i deleted the post but im still gonna keep reblogging all the other posts by the conservative transphobic anti abortion right wing christians whos blogs i wont check because we need to save tumblr!!!!"

Let me make this really fucking clear for those who don't get it: it doesn't matter if the post is not about their political beliefs. You and all your mutuals are reblogging them. You are making it easier for them to network and find each other. You are bringing them new followers, a bigger audience, a bigger platform and a bigger pool of people who will spread their oh so relatable non-political posts. Which will bring in more followers. And some of those new followers are going to be young dumbasses who are going to see all their posts about "groomers" and "mutilation" and the evils of porn and the horrors of abortion and how feminism actually harms women and do i need to tell you how that story ends?

You are showing that "crab fun" is way more important to you than the safety of trans tumblr users. You are giving them a bigger platform and a wider net with which to potentially harm trans people. By saying that you're not going to let their political beliefs ruin your fun, you're making it very clear that trans people are less important than your fun. And you're making it VERY fucking clear that you'd RATHER tumblr become a safe and welcoming place for anti-feminist anti-abortion right wing transphobes than give up fun crab.

You are showing that your need to throw money at a corporation is more important to you than trans tumblr users. I get where you are coming from. I do. You want tumblr to keep existing. I want tumblr to keep existing. I also want the other trans people who use this fucking platform to keep existing because frankly, they are the only reason i'm here. and if they aren't safe here and if you will throw us away just to keep tumblr shambling along a little longer then I have no fucking interest in tumblr.

"Okay but we need to save tumblr uwu!!!!" Look I'm just some dumbass and I don't know shit (and to be PERFECTLY honest, so are you), but I think this is a little more complicated than "if we raise enough money we can save the school/family farm/community centre/(insert cozy heartwarming thing that needs to be saved)!" As other smarter people have said, tumblr is operating at a yearly $30 million deficit. Thats $30 million just to break even. For one year. not become profitable. Its not a bail them out once and its all good forever situation. Tumblr is not a small message board run by volunteers who actually use donations to stay afloat. They are not a non-profit. They are not running a pledge drive. Throwing money at a corporation does not a nonprofit make. It makes you a consumer.

Your response to "tumblr making bad changes" is "give them money for making the bad changes to show that we don't like bad changes!! A reverse boycott'll show 'em!!" You sure about that??? (And some of you are calling this """""unionizing?"""" Put that word back on the shelf.) You don't know what you're doing and you're not listening to the smarter people who have tried to explain it to you. And once again, you're showing that this half baked scheme is more important to you than trans tumblr users. because crab fun.

And @everyone whos clambering over each other to "collaborate with conservatives for a good cause," we already fucking know that you love to do this shit. You are the same people who will say "yeah but theres bad people on both sides!!!" and who wont give up your Harry Potter or your Chick-Fil-A. You will throw us under the bus the SECOND it gets you something you want. Even something as stupid and small as pickle brine or a shitty videogame or fucking "crab day." And guess what. The second all your "shared goals" are accomplished and the conservatives get what they want FROM YOU??? You're going straight under that bus too.

And also, isn't it maybe a little hmmmm. SUSPICIOUS that CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIANS want to throw money at the site that we've been bitching and screaming at for how unfairly it censors any display of queer sexuality????? They don't have the same problems with tumblr that you do. You think that collaborating with THEM is gonna stop that? Gonna get the porn ban reversed? Gonna turn tumblr into a co-op? Gonna "unionize this bitch?" Hello????

If you must. MUST participate in this because crab oh so fun and tumblr is oh so in need of saving then for the LOVE of FUCK make your OWN POST and STOP PLATFORMING THESE PEOPLE. i don't want to hear "Oh but its a good idea it doesn't matter if a bad person came up with it separate art from the artist lol" if you're not MAKING AN ACTUAL EFFORT TO EXCLUDE THEM FROM THIS. BLOCK THEM. CHECK THEIR BLOGS. BLACKLIST THEIR URLS. ITS EASY.

and then maybe go give your $3 to an actual non-profit. or to an actual leftist independent organization. Or wikipedia. Or inaturalist. Or to one of the many hyperspecific message boards out there who are struggling along on donations from like 5 people. Or maybe, maybe, give your fucking $3 to an abortion fund or to a trans person's go fund me so they can buy food. Or to a womens shelter or a fucking homeless person or to any of the other people who anti-abotion anti-feminist right wing christian transphobes want to stop existing.

My partner is afraid to leave the house alone because people with these exact same political beliefs are in power. People are getting their HRT ripped away from them because people with these exact same political beliefs are in power. People are being forced to give birth because people with these exact same political beliefs are in power. Every day I'm ready to get the news that the state my partner is in is no longer safe and we have to figure out an escape plan. These people do REAL HARM in the REAL WORLD and their beliefs are, tbh, way more fucking insidious and mainstream and tolerated than those of TERFs.

But fun crabs are more important. okay.

#I have almost no followers here like 3 people will see this but i can't not say anything #prob gonna lose a few beloved mutuals over this screed tbh well so it goes #I'm sorry this is so aggressive i realize that some people still dont know but im VERY frustrated by the response here #I'm pinning this post and everyone who clicks on my blog to look at a cute bug has to see it #being trans on tumblr is infuriating #being trans in THE WORLD is infuriating #crab day #the crabbening #july 29 #crab week #save tumblr #anti crab day #etc etc etc #DO YOU REALIZE HOW FUCKING DISAPPOINTING IT IS TO SEE ALL THESE TAGS AND SEE HOW BIG THIS THIS HAS GOTTEN AND STILL NOONE GIVES A SHIT

114 notes · View notes

karinasbaby · 27 days

Note

Moots as a word in english!

hello my dear anon :D thank u sm for sending this to me !! i will be doing this as my moots in random english words that i know & that remind of me them so !!! here we go :D

and before i start this i just want to say that these small paragraphs barely touch on my emotions & feelings towards these people as i could actually write literal books for them so just know that i tried my best to keep this as short as possible :D <3 (news flash: this is long as hell 🧍‍♀️)

@alvojake | the words ‘crimson’ & ‘fireworks’

— it might be bcs of kayla’s red aesthetic that’s literally stunning. but i always get really comforting vibes from her acc as well :D fireworks for her warm and bright aura & welcoming attitude, really creative writing abilities and ideas that are so cool (and spicy ofc) that remind me of the colour red as well so crimson :D i love u kayla & ur mind sm.

@lheebra | the words ‘clouds’ & ‘sparkle’

— my sweetest dani and her bubbly and adorable personality that always makes me feel so fluffy and fuzzy inside, one of the most romantic and emotional writers i know that pours her entire being into her works especially if they involve being in love & sweet scenarios !!! dani is like the human version of cotton candy honestly so sweet and fluffy and cute i wanna hug u sm and ily thank u for being my friend :D

@rkvriki | the words ‘hibiscus’ and ‘summer’

— could it be because of ana’s flower aesthetic that reminds me of one of the prettiest & rarest hibiscus flowers? might be. but i always associate ana with flowers, sweet fruits that u have in the summer, and the special nights in summer where the air is slightly colder than usual and it feels so comforting. ana has always been a dear friend to me !! always open to learning new things and talking about whatever interests her which i love and adore because anything she talks about instantly pulls me in, anywho i love talking to u and i love & miss u sm :D !! ♡

@fakeuwus | the words ‘mint’ and ‘cosmos’

— and here’s to my first ever friend on enhablr that will always hold a special place in my heart !! nic has always had aesthetics that were pleasing to look at and now with her pretty sage green-ish aesthetic (thats so gorgeous btw) i always get reminded of mint, for me nic will always be associated with the beginning of my tumblr days so u might as well say that her presence was as fresh as mint for me (that’s a knee slapper 🦵👋) (no it’s not i’ll stfu) but anywho cosmos because of her creative ideas & mind that always has me like :0 !!! and also her caring personality :( u were like a mother figure for me back when we texted in september and u always took care of me and gave me sweet reminders ok this is getting too long i love u <33

@jaeyunluvr | the words ‘star’ and ‘kitty’ :D

— if it wasn’t already obvious, kayzie always reminds me of a cat. idk why but ive always gotten that mysteriously playful and affectionate vibe from her !! like yes i want to hug & cuddle u but at the same time let’s play with a ball of yarn or smth. kayzie also reminds me of stars with her adorable and sweet personality !! whenever i see ‘jaeyunluvr’ i just get so !!!!! excited to talk with her and i miss u sm kayzie i love u and i miss u a lot <33

@pprodsuga | the words ‘spring’ and ‘care’

— my dearest sweetest seph <3 no words could actually articulate the amount of appreciation i hold for her. sephseph reminds me of spring because whenever i talk with her i always feel like im walking through fields of flowers !! which is smth i really want to do with seph, just going out on a picnic and having tangerines between flowers in the middle of spring. and care because of her always being so attentive and caring with me :( seph has always been so gentle and kind and ive always felt so so safe with her so thank u for being my friend seph :D

@sjyluv | the words ‘beach’ and ‘sweet’

— mimi’s personality and the way she interacts with everyone gives me a lot of warm and kind vibes, could it also be because of her beautiful theme that makes me associate her with the beach?? might be but you’ve always reminded me of the warmth of the sun on sunny beach days :D i personally adore the beach so i think that’s says a lot 🙏🏼 and sweet because you’re just a small ball filled with sunshine and warmth that i want to put in my pocket and protect you’re so cute and i love u sm i really want to get closer to u as well :D <3

@heelvsted | the words ‘violet’ and ‘cherry’

— my sweetest rin whom i absolutely adore :( ive always gotten so many cool vibes from u hence the colour violet which i always associate with cool & interesting people who are always so lively and fun to be around, which i think perfectly encapsulates you in my eyes :D you’ve always had a caring & protective personality which i have always appreciated and you’ve always been very loving and supportive with me which means the whole world to me :( cherry bcs i also associate dark red with u bcs you’re just cool and edgy and untouchable like that. and i love cherries :D i miss & love u sm my dearest rin ♡

@riftanswhore | the words ‘energy’ and ‘night’

— my sweetest jul who ive known since before i even joined enhablr and only fangirled over on the sidelines, i am absolutely honoured with the privilege of being moots with u rn and i am sending u so much love baby :D ive always associated jul with energy from the way that she would interact with others and her responses to everyone else to her own works and hard thoughts that have had me gripping on the wall ✋ you’ve always been someone who seemed so interesting and fun to be around :D like i know there’s not one boring day in ur life ☝️ and night simply because you give me the vibes of a night person, where your energy reaches its peak during the night and it’s so cool :D anywho i admire u a lot and ily ok ill stop now before i write a whole essay 😁🫶🏼

@enha-stars | the words ‘honey’ and ‘sunrise’ :D

— my loveliest hana whom i don’t know where i will be without🤞 im so thankful for allah for making u pop up into my life out of nowhere in the best time as well, ur presence appeared right when it was needed and i absolutely adore your existence. hana has always had the sweetest and most gentle personality that reminds me of sweet sweet honey !! you’ve always had such a wonderful (and hilarious) way with words, knowing exactly what to say and what not to say (i still laugh over “oh my gosh shawty dipped? i scared her away??” like daily) i love love love talking to you and i miss u so so much :( sunrise because hana is actually the embodiment of the sun in my life and she arrived right when i was getting into a new chapter in my life so she’s quite literally the sun in my— okay i’ll stfu now ily hana and imy :( <3

@ak4e7a | the words ‘comfort’ and ‘intelligence’

— now if there’s someone who made me feel like a baby wrapped up in a blanket and taken care of it has to be my sweetest chelsea 🫵 never have i gotten so many safe and comforting vibes from someone. especially with how both of us felt so comfortable and opened up to one another so easily like we’ve known eachother for years, you’re a fairly new close friend that appeared in my life yet i feel like ive known you for the past decade and i adore that, chelsea has always provided me a safe space where all my thoughts and concerns are heard and i appreciate that so much, just know that you mean so so much to me !! and intelligence because she’s also one of thee smartest people ive ever known 🙏🏼 her interesting talks about her major and how easy she makes it sound is like :00 woah like you’re on another level and you’re so cool okay i’ll stfu ily chelsea :D <3

@moon7jay | the words ‘moon’ and ‘vanilla’

— my dearest xynia :D ive always associated you with the moon first because of ur username and second bcs of ur calm & sweet personality !! you’ve always given me the comforting and dark vibes of the moon in the best way possible and it’s always gravitated me towards u more !! like i know so well i would feel so comfortable and safe with you and i love that :D vanilla because of your kind personality !! ive seen you interact w so many of ur moots and ive always know that you’re so fun & nice to be around🤞 i really want to get closer to u and i love u a lot :D <3 thank u for blessing enhablr w ur amazing works my beloved🙏🏼

@wvnkoi | the words ‘rain’ and ‘soul’

— the amount of happiness and comfort i’ve felt from simply seeing seol’s username needs to be studied. you’ve always given me older sister vibes which always made me feel so protected and safe talking with u :D i know you’re just as comforting and warmth-radiating irl as well which makes me want to take a nap with u while it rains outside <3 you’ve always given me so much calm vibes and someone who’s mature and loving, you’ve always had the sweetest words to share in the kindest ways possible and i’m really honoured to be your friend :D soul might be bcs of how ur name reminds me of the word soul itself, but also because you’ve always given me the vibes of someone that i can deeply connect with. someone who understands beyond what other people can and i found that really cool and sweet about u my dearest seol :D i love u sm and i miss u a lot <33

@sparklovespink | the words ‘pink’ and ‘glitter’

— my sweetest spark our first interaction with u being rick rolled lives in my head rent free 🫶🏼 and i love it so much. ive always associated the colour pink with u mainly because of your name but also bcs of ur personality as well :D you seem like such a fun and nice person to be around and someone who’s really bubbly and i love it :D it goes hand in hand with glitter because of ur name spark which is so so cute !!! and i really just feel like ur a ball of glitter that always shine sm !! you have a beautiful writing talent that always has me like :0?!?!? anywho i really want to be closer with u and i love u sm :D <3

this is all i can write for now bcs im running on a few hours of sleep but i love every single one of my moots a lot and im really honoured and thankful that ive got to meet you, thank you for making tumblr so much more enjoyable and for being there with me to share thoughts and to interact :D i love u all sm okay i’ll stop my yapping now but ily 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

pls accept all my flowers my sweetest mooties <3

#sending each and every one of my moots so so much love #i wish i could hug u all for like six hours straight #asks & responses <3 #and sending u so much love as well my cutest anon 🫵#thank u for sending me this and giving me a chance to express my love for my moots :D #this became way too long my GOD #mooties ♡

30 notes · View notes

maddiescinema · 2 months

Note

first, your services are very much appreciated and i hope you have a wonderful day

second, here's what i remember about the fic i'm looking for (and if it's not real wow my brain is so good at coming up with stories)

lando norris x reader

pretty sure reader is female

its (freelance?) photographer reader and i think also best friend reader

reader was hired by mclaren to do photography stuff for f1 and of the drivers, thats where lando and reader first met and became friends

im pretty sure its part of a (ongoing?) series

part smau part written

financial issues & mclaren not being able to hire reader all the time or smth like that (maybe) lead reader to accept a contract or whatever its called to photograph a football team

its one of england's/uk's football teams (im not well versed in football so bear with me) i think

i think the team may have been manchester city? and i think i remember a jack grealish or someone like that

anyways

reader goes there and does readers job and becomes accquianted with the team members

there's this one member who has a fuckboy/playboy reputation, and keeps bothering reader to go for dinner and eventually reader says yes bc he promises its just between friends

dinner goes fine until the end where he confides in reader that the team is going to let him go if he doesnt get his act together or so he believes

then he asks reader to pretend to be his girlfriend so that doesnt happen, reader says no, he threatens reader and her career, so she gives in and he says lets kiss in front of the paps so word gets out and they do bc theyre outside having this convo and there are paps around and an article is posted and it goes to social media

anyways that dude is an asshole

reader just ignores him and tries not to be with him and interact with him going back to work, and reader is feeling really alone bc lando isnt answering her calls and she deosnt really have anyone at the moment to vent and talk about this situation to, also the internet gets to her a bit i think

reader is camping out in an empty conference room getting stuff done when she goes to get a snack and maybe the bathroom to cry & try to call lando again?

when she comes back theres someone there and its jack grealish(?) (not the relationship forcing asshole) and shes like oh im sorry i must have forgot our meeting

hes like we had no meeting i just wanted to check up on you, bc ive noticed you been down lately and the whole dating thing

readers opens up and vents about being forced into the relationship

he shares that the team is either waiting or looking for a reason to let the asshole go bc his behaviour is bad and the players dont like him and dont get along with him

and he promises reader that if she ever needs anything that hes there for her and that she can go him

and she feels safe and happy and not alone anymore

and thats all i remember, and since im 94% sure that this is a series or at least part of a series, i might be mixing up parts

if you can find it thank you! if not thanks for trying!

p.s. why is it so hard to find things on tumblr??? ive tried to look for this but im also weak and give up to easily

first of all, thank uu 🫶🏻 i’m happy to help!!

second of all, I SWEAT I’VE READ SOMETHING LIKE THIS BEFORE, like i’m so sure but going back to find it is actually impossible 😭 i’ll try again tomorrow cause i know i’ve read this one BUT if anyone knows where to find it PLEASE let us know in the comments, my inbox or my dms!! 🫶🏻🫶🏻

UPDATE:

“A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words” by @f1byjessie

(thank you SO much to the comment and the anons who helped find this fic!! all the love to you guys!!)

#find this fic #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris fic #lando norris fanfic #lando norris imagine #lando norris smut #ln4 #f1 #formula 1

39 notes · View notes

vent-fmc · 2 months

Text

introduction!!

{‼️TW mentions of mental health, sh, ed‼️}

helloo!! my names finnley, im 15, pansexual and trans (ftm he/him). i am currently diagnosed with autism, spd, depression and anxiety.

ive had this account for so long just never posted. but im on the sh/ed side of tumblr and ive seen so many posts of people saying they have no one to talk to but they need to talk, and thats why im here.

i have been struggling with sh and an ed for a very long time and i know how hard it is. im not gonna go into too much detail here but all ill say is i havent been clean from sh for more than 3 months in 2 years, but now i want to help myself and more importantly, i wanna help others too.

so if anyone needs someone to talk to, please do reach out. i wont be triggered by anything so give as much detail as you want and ill do my best to help.

please dont reach out to me if youre over 18 as i am a minor. please dont send any sexual messages as, again, i am a minor and im also in a healthy relationship.

so dont be shy if you need help, im always here to help!!

stay safe out there ml <3

#cvtaddict #ed not ed sheeran #hitting styro #self h@rm #tw ed diet #tw disordered eating #ed behaviour tw #tw self destruction #tw depressing thoughts #depressing shit #beansblr #bingedisorder #i want to cvt #sh cvt #cvtt!ng

20 notes · View notes

stanurines1mp · 1 year

Text

Regrets

pairing: Ulquiorra Cifer x Fem!Gin's sister!Reader

type: angst

an: ignoring the fact that i start sm fanfics that i havent finished, here's another Bleach oneshot of one of my fav characters! i can write an entire essay on his character eheh. also, this is pretty short but im kinda lazy lol... its basically like the scene of him and orihime about the 'heart' but with a romantic(?) and angsty twist. so have fun and enjoy! dont forget to follow me on Tumblr and Wattpad! and share, like, vote, comment and all :)

warnings: angst (dont expect more from me), death, aizen (bro deserves a warning), gin (also deserves a warning but he's barely in here), reader is gin's younger sister, kinda rushed, blood (barely). i think thats all, lemme know if i miss anything!

~~~

Following Aizen into Hueco Mundo was a decision filled with regret. Leaving behind your friends from the Seireitei was not your best move. But what more could you do when your older brother, Gin, had brought you along?

Honestly, what was he thinking?

But you couldn't deny him. You swore to stay by each other's side and this was not an exception.

So there you stood just a little behind him, fingers gripping tightly on the sleeve of his robe. Scared, you were barely peeking into the view of whatever Hollow Aizen had found interest in.

Ever since you set foot in this world, you were driven with fear, longing for a sense of warmth in this cold atmosphere. It's much too different than the Soul Society and the Human World. You'd do anything to get back to either one of those. But you swore to stay with Gin.

And Aizen was kind enough not to separate you both.

Until one day, he found your presence to be irrelevant and quite honestly a nuisance though he hid that fact with a sweet little lie of saying that he just wanted you to be safe.

And you remembered that day very well, too.

After all, it happened during a meeting with all the Espadas who swore loyalty to the God wannabe. Seated around the table were those 10 Arrancars and the traitors of Soul Society, including you.

"Y/N," Aizen brought the attention to you.

At this point in time, you had made yourself somewhat comfortable. Or rather, you've let yourself not get involved with anyone except your brother. So from your seat, your slouching back immediately straightened while your eyes widened.

Your gaze lifted to meet the man, his soft orbs peering into yours. To the outside looking in, one would think he was displaying a look of warmth but you knew better than to fall for his manipulation.

"Y-Yes?" You stuttered.

Sure, you were aware of his tricks. That didn't mean you weren't scared of him.

"I have a very important task for you," he smiled. "I have informed Ulquiorra of everything and he is in charge of you."

"Wait, what?!" Your words slipped out, panic jolting your body as you looked from the man to your brother, your brows stitched in a silent beg for help.

Before your brother could display even a shift in expression, your body froze in the chair. Your eyes widened, your lips emitting a hitched gasp.

Aizen's Reiatsu was hurting you.

Your fingers clutched firmly at the edge of the table. Your lungs felt like it was closing up, your airway narrowing as you gasped helplessly for air.

"Are you denying me, Y/N?" His tone was silky smooth, an eyebrow raised condescendingly.

Not without struggle, your head began to shake weakly as the brims of your eyes begin to well up with tears. Having enough of your suffering for the moment, Aizen lowered his Reiatsu and you gasped loudly as you could feel air flowing in and out of you again.

"My apologies, Aizen-sama," you trembled, gaze lowering to the ground.

To that, he let out a pleased hum that matched his smirk. What a fucking sadist.

So that's why you were currently stuck next to the 4th Espada, hiding in the Dangai while you waited to capture the human girl Aizen took an interest in. Honestly, some part of you hated yourself for being in such a position, forcing the same fate on an innocent girl who would do anything for her friends.

"Inoue-san," you cleared your throat one day, knocking on the door.

You pushed it open and saw the girl's sullen figure on the floor, gazing at the moon. She remained silent as she watched you enter.

"How are you doing?" You asked, knowing it wouldn't bring any sort of comfort whatsoever despite that being your intention. "If you need anything, I'm at your service," you sighed.

Silence passed between you two. Though expected, you took it as a sign to leave. Just as you were about to, she stopped you with a question.

"Kuchiki-san told me about you," she said. "Why did you betray the Soul Society?"

Her question struck you right at the pit of your regretful heart, making you stop in your tracks.

With a sigh, you answered, "Just as you'd come here for your friends, I would do anything for my brother."

Refusing to prolong the conversation, you took your leave. Turning a corner as you head to your room, you felt fingers wrapped around your wrist. Holding you in place, Ulquiorra then appeared before you.

"What do you think you're doing?" He raised his brows in question.

Your eyes met his and you lowly exhaled.

"Aizen-sama said that she's under our care," you reminded. "I am only caring for her."

He let go of your hand, eyes still staring into yours. "You have no need to make friends with her."

A scoff slipped past your lips. "What are you?" You changed the subject, rather curious about something regarding the Arrancar. "Which part of Death do you signify, Ulquiorra?"

With your eyes stuck on him, paired with your question, he felt somewhat, exposed. His lips remain pursed, gaze peeling away from yours as he turned to walk away.

"I do not see how that is of any relevance."

"If I am to work by your side, I'd like to know more about you," you simply answered.

Looking over his shoulder, he said, "As I said, I do not see the relevance."

"I'll find out soon enough," you hummed, watching as he walked away.

And with your future days spent closely with him, you actually did figure him out.

You could clearly see it in his eyes, you actually wondered how you could have missed that. But you couldn't miss it anymore as each day passes by and he often visited you.

It was odd but you had realized how frequently he came to see you whether it was to send you food or talk about the prisoner. You wondered if it was intentional but over time, you didn't seem to mind it. And maybe because now that you know him, you couldn't help the interest you held for him.

You wanted to understand him.

You wanted to understand why it was that you noticed his eyes changing since the day he met you.

It seemed like you managed to reach that on an afternoon in Hueco Mundo.

You were gazing at the blue sky, a smile tickling your complexion at the view that reminded you of the warmth back in Soul Society. But the one that sheltered you at the moment was nothing but a fake. At such a thought, your smile faltered.

"What are you doing?" Ulquiorra's voice ran through your spine.

"It's so heavy," you murmured.

"What is?"

You let out a sigh, turning around to see him. "My heart," you said. "It's full of regrets."

He let out a patronizing scoff, "You humans and Soul Reapers toss that word around mindlessly. What is this 'heart'?"

Your eyes flickered close for a moment but hearing his question, you understood him.

And you understood yourself.

And with a saddened smile, you reduced the distance with a question. "Do you not believe in the existence of the heart?"

"I do not believe in things I cannot see," he began, taking another step. "Even with these eyes of mine that perceive all, I cannot see this so-called 'heart'."

"And that makes it not real?"

His hand stretched forward, fingers aiming at your heart.

"If I rip out your chest, will I see it? If I crush open your skull, will I see it?"

The gap between the tip of his finger and the fabric of your dress over your heart closed with another step from you. His long nail threatened to puncture your skin but you did not have it in you to break your composure as you stared into his eyes.

"Do it, then," your words silkened out daringly.

You can see surprise behind those dark eyes, only aiding you to go further.

"Rip out my chest. Crush open my skull. Do whatever you must to find my heart because I can assure you, it is real and it is there."

You could see the slight tremble in his hand. With another step toward him, your dress let out a ripped sound as his claws penetrated through.

"I have a heart that beats and with each passing second, it beats for you."

Your lips parted in a slight gasp as you feel warm blood oozing out. Still, you let yourself be guided by your heart.

"I am not afraid of you, Ulquiorra," you exhaled. "As I can see the emptiness in you begin to fill with the reflection of my love for you."

Any changes of expression he tried to hide had failed terribly. But he was not the only one shocked by your confession.

It seems that you've let yourself fall for the 4th Espada.

Maybe that would soon turn into yet another one of your regrets but for the time being, he let you go.

His cold, empty demeanor had returned when he retracted his arm to his side. He began to walk away, leaving you a taste of his void and disappointment. But before he closed the door, he stopped. Over his shoulder, he looked in your direction but not really looking at you.

"The human's friends have come to Hueco Mundo. My order for you is to stay in your room," he slurred out. "No matter what."

With everything that occurred next, you still remained in your room. Why?

Because he had asked you to.

And you were meant to listen to him.

So you ignored all the changes in Spiritual Pressure that occurred in Hueco Mundo to fulfill his order. But there was one change that you can no longer ignore.

And with that worry, that fright, you ran out of your room. With all your strength, you flew upwards, past the fake skies of Las Noches and into the truth of Hueco Mundo. Landing on the ground, you stood up.

And it was as if your mere presence had caused him to peel away his gaze from his opponent. His eyes that met yours were no longer those you saw during your first meeting.

That emptiness that he signified was filling up.

Just as your tears welled in your eyes, your lips parted in a frightful gasp, watching his wings begin to disappear. His hand, the very same one that bled you, lifted from his side. His fingers reached for you. Allowing your tears to fall, you cried as you ran to him, your own hand stretched out to grasp his.

Yet no matter how fast you ran, you could never reach him.

He was so close.

Yet so far.

"I see it now," he said, stopping you in your tracks with wide eyes and parted lips. "I understand now," he said.

You ignored the presence of the humans, only focusing on the fallen Espada.

"Your heart," he let out, fingers beginning to close in an empty grip. "Has always been in the palm of my hands."

Your breath hitched in your throat as you ran to him again, weakly struggling to reach him.

But just when you did, his hand leaves you as it dissipated into darkened ash.

With a loud cry, you fell to your knees, our tears unabashedly falling to your cheeks. Your left hand clutches over your heart-

"Rip out my chest."

-while your right hand clutches over your head-

"Crush open my skull."

As you were heeding his last order, he was heeding yours, providing you the sensation of actions you asked for.

Yet another regret filled that heavy heart of yours.

86 notes · View notes