#surely none of them r here except for like gem

[meercraft]

100% convinced Scar has a secret twitter account btw bc that man appears in the most random conversations. he’s out here replying to a tweet of someone who was trying to promote their ranchers fic. how did he get there. i KNOW he’s out there lurking. he has to be. secretly. in the shadows. i know it

#tumblr is safe. thats why im here. #surely none of them r here except for like gem #anyway. #goodtimeswithscar #gtws #hermitcraft #hc s10

[valenhell]

From the studio that brought you “I can’t find good Byler fics in the ao3 tag”, comes:

"The Definitive Byler fic rec list"

Literally no one asked for this but because I spent the majority of last year (...and 2019, and 2018...) reading byler fics and coping with life, I thought I’d make a list of some of my absolute favorites. 

The other day I was basically starving for some byler fics and the angel @magicalfairy provided me with some of her faves so I thought I’d do the same, because I love reading, and I love all of these fics and I appreciate their writers💗 And fic writers in general, come on!

- This is a mix of long works and one-shots/short stories. - Everything is mostly fluff with a tad of angst and a lot of internalized homophobia conflict.  - Every fic is completed, except for the ones I mention that they are not. - I try my best to lay out the stories in a way that I won’t spoil you the plot but also warning you of some stuff you might don’t like. Either way, all of these fics are correctly tagged by their respective authors/owners, so read at your own risk. For better understanding, in between brackets I denote Rating, Words and quantity of Chapters. - I feel like I should clarify, none of these are narrated in the singular first person. None of that “And I told him...”, no. 

Long fics

a dream always the same (T, 99k, 35 chapters) What happened in those few weeks between the Battle of Starcourt and the Byers leaving Hawkins. Literally a satisfying and very needed fill in of season three, with a good dose of Mike’s thoughts and conflict. Mike’s characterization is specially amazing in this one. The writing style is amazing and I know the author put everything into making it historically accurate, and it was really sweet. You probably read it, it’s by the amazing sevensided here on Tumblr🧡

Spring Break (T, 120k, 14/15 chapters) The slowburn of my dreams. Lots of internalized conflict and conflict with each other. Conflict within the Party (uhh kind of), conflict with Mike and Will. Byers family has moved and the kids are visiting! Chaos. Characterization is on point. Yeah, I know it’s unfinished, but the fourteenth chapter actually serves as a pretty nice ending. 

This is where it starts (M, 148.8k, 24 chapters) Aged up characters. The Party is in college and Will disappears again, but now it’s different. Mike knows he didn’t vanish from thin air, and the discovery he and the Party end up making is pretty insane. Mystery solving/fantasy/third dimension, throw in a bit of D&D and Mike realizing some shit, and you get this marvelous fic. It’s a breath of fresh air. The world building is definitely one of the elements that stands out the most, because it’s very nicely described, it sounds like a dream and it’s completely immersive. Absolute gem of a fic. 

there’s a Starman waiting in the sky (M, 30.6k, 8 chapters) Do I need to say anything? Will is out there living his best life and Mike realizes that wow, umm, maybe his best friend looks a bit too nice with that costume... and wait, is he getting horny? It’s actually really fun and sexy.

The Evening Speaks (T, 23k, 7 chapters) In where Mike is a late-night college radio host and Will is the art student that stays up till late to catch up with Wheeler on the Mic. They flirt through songs y’all, this one is really sweet. 

heads or tails? (E, 24k, 3 chapters) Aged up characters. I know most people don’t enjoy sex in fics and with specific characters but this one is insanely well written. It’s a slowburn that commits to the tension and with every word you are grasping and anticipating their next move. I think you can find the author here on Tumblr as yousaidyes🧡

The Man of Average (M, 56.7k, 5/? chapters) Aged up characters. No but you don’t understand, the writing here is absolute gourmet. The story is exciting as well, it’s super interesting. Weirdly enough, for being very aged up characters, they are well characterized but they don’t feel like teenagers. They are naturally Mike and Will. The author really captured Mike and Will’s essence. I know, it’s unfinished and it’s updated very rarely, but this is the typical fic you can’t believe someone just posted on the internet for free. I will say though, I think it’s definitely not for everyone. Read at your own risk.

Heartstrings (E, 82.8k, 24/? chapters) Aged up characters. By the same author of The Man of Average. A collection of memories, the road to Mike and Will’s happy ever after. And fucking hell!!!!! You’ll cry and get angry, you’ll cheer for them, then you’ll want to crash their faces together because god dammit you love each other!!! But yeah, same thing here. The writing and the way the story is laid out as a nonlinear narrative is brilliant. And I also think this is one of the best Will versions I’ve read. The author might as well be the og creator of this two characters tbh. You can find the author here as mylesimeblr🧡

Sinners behind the walls (T, 1.5k, 1/1) And because I can’t stop recommending this author, a little thing of Mike tormenting himself but also being too deeply committed to Will. 

The Red Envelope series (T/E, 167K, two completed works) Something happens that Will thought was impossible and from there, pure drama and romance. Anything by this author has the potential to become your absolute favorite fic, but this series in particular is amazing. I doubt that any of you haven’t read this, but it doesn’t hurt to put it in this list. I’m pretty sure the author is serendipitous-magic on Tumblr🧡

A New Fight series (T, 91k, two completed works, one WIP) And finally the Star Wars AU that we all needed. But this isn’t your typical “Mike is Han”, “Will is Leia” and “El is Luke”, it’s way more interesting than that, and the author has appropriated the Star Wars world like no other. I’ll admit I’m not a 100% fluent in SW lore but this is amazing to me either way. This author is also on Tumblr, tea-for-one-please🧡

- Yes, most of these are (if not all), in a way, canon compliant/canonverse/canon continuation into fanon. (In a way)

One-shots and short stories

Sundae for Two, Please (G, 4.8k) Steve being the supportive friend and older brother these kids collectively need. (not Jonathan erasure, we love him). Steve is very sweet himself, and this little cute thing through his POV is gorgeous. Yes, it’s byler.

Backstage (T, 10k, 2/2) Jonathan, you forgot to mention to Will how hot your new band’s guitarist is, dude. Now he’s hyperventilating and weirdly flirting with him in the corner. Background Stonathan because why not.

102 Peach Street (G, 3.8k) Established relationship, but not only that, they are married :’’))) PURE fluff. Extreme fluffiness. Diabetes. 

sweatshirts and bottled up feelings (T, 3.2k) Or, Mike thinks that the sweatshirt Will wears looks insanely good on him. And kitchens are for lovers. 

kiss it better (T, 16.3k) Basically one of the best character studies of a few precise moments of Mike and Will’s relationship and feelings. 

will wonders ever cease (T, 11.3k) #i ship will and happiness. Omfg what a beautiful piece of fanfic. Will centric, this kid really deserves all the good in the world.

The Calm After the Storm (T, 1.6k) Tooth rotting fluff, boyfriends in love. Boyfriends being lazy, cuddling, love words, kisses. Boys loving each other’s company... Basically, Mike and Will in their element. What more can you ask for?

neither of us ready to let go (T, 4.8k) That scene from season three, but a bit of a fix it. 

Still in love (G, 1k) Domestic, married life au fluff. Y’all, I’m a sucker for established Byler, even if I can’t find many fics with it. But this is very sweet. It takes place in 2020, but I don’t think there are any mentions of the COVID-19 crisis that I remember.

I Nver Find Out ‘Til I’m Head Over Heels (G, 12.5K) Classic 5+1 fic. If you haven’t read it, where have you been? This is your moment. In where Mike keeps inviting Will to the school dances and Will thinks it’s just a joke until he realizes it’s not. 

Before You’re Gone (T, 5.9k) Will is leaving Hawkins and Mike thinks this is a great moment for a confession. This one I discovered last friday, thank you friend @magicalfairy 💗

You’re weird Wheeler (M, 4.5k) Mike unintentionally starts a tradition of going to each other to talk about their sexual encounters just after they finish. Will keeps getting more explicit with the details he shares, and he makes his best friend interested. This one is really fun y’all.

Out-Of-Town Friends (N/R, 4.6K) It’s not rated. I haven’t re- read it but I’d say it would probably fall in a T rating. So cute!! Will has new friends and sneaks off every friday and the Party doesn’t know where he is going, so Mike decides to follow him and is surprised. 

Snowed Under (G, 1.3k) By the same author of The New Fight series. Mike is spending christmas by himself in college because a snowstorm hits Chicago and Nancy can’t drive to see him, but then he has a surprise visitor. Ahhh just a lil sweet holiday fic. Super cute. 

you love me anyway series (T, 7.1k, three completed works) Literally just the cutest thing ever. Established Byler. Will loves to take pictures and he loves taking pictures of Mike. It’s adorable. 

you wanna be friends forever (i can think of something better) (T, 9k) This one is so amazing. So. Amazing. From Will’s POV, my kid deserves the world and he gets it. 

okay not to be okay (T, 4.9k) Mike is a bit sad but then everything is okay. 

can’t hold out forever (G, 18.4k) Y’all!!!!! 5+1 sweetness. Mike has been falling in love since kindergarten. And it’s long af, you’ll enjoy it. 

even if it takes forever (G, 1.3k) College short AU, they miss each other, they love each other, they promise all to each other. It is sappy y’all.

clear as day (N/R, 18.4K, 4 chapters) It’s not rated, but I’d say it falls in the T category. Strangers to friends to lovers. And also, everyone is pretty gay; we have our dynamic trio Mike, Max and El as disaster lesbians (and gay). Will works at the library and he is also gay. Lucas and Dustin and Will are the best friends we needed. It’s very sweet and the Party is kind of formed here!

I went overboard with the one-shots, so you must have realized how much I love long one-shots and I favor them over long works lmao but they are all amazing!!! If it’s on this list, I probably read it at 2 am, sobbing in my bed. So. Hope you enjoy it☺️🧡

#these are my all time favorites that i think you should read #it’s a good start #i've been putting together this post since friday #and i just realize that #apparently all of these have angst in some degree #who would i be if I didn’t read angst ajsjsj #but funny thing is that i try not to —but then the best stories are basically made of it #anyway #most of these are what I consider fandom classics #everyone in the byler fandom is so talented at writing😫💗 #is stonathan the actual ship name? lmao #byler #stranger things #byeler #byler fic rec #fic rec #ao3 #st #st.txt #me.txt #long post #stranger things fic

[flowerwrites06]

diamond trail I — myg

Plot: The theft of his most elusive and mystery possession leads to a web of trickery that threatens every large syndicate in the country. (alternative: Yoongis’ prized possession is stolen but he’s not the only gang leader being betrayed)

Pairing(s): Mafia Boss!Yoongi x Consigliere!Y/N

Rating: G | PG | M | R 18+

Type: Drabble | Oneshot | Two Parter | Series

Word Count: 4k+

Genre: Mafia | Marriage | Mature Themes/Fluff/Smut

Tags & Warnings: criminal activities, mentions of past abuse (outside of the pair), explicit smut (spanking and very brief anal play), mild violence, coarse language.

Authors Note: it’s here friends!! i’m still a little rusty in terms of writing fanfiction after a while so please be kind lmaoo

A huge thanks to @casuallyimagining​ and @aroseforyoongi​ for helping with the proofreads! 

Gold Dust held patronage of all heads in the underworld, allowing them to orchestrate the most exclusive and grandest auctions. You and Yoongi walked through the vault doors, hands intertwined with one another as two suited guards led you down the velvet lined stairs. Your footsteps silenced amongst the beating music of the club above. Your chest relaxed as soon as the soothing violins and piano touched your ears in the underground facility. Black marble walls and pillars encased you along with the sea of Italian silk suits and satin gowns.

Yoongi huffed at the very sight of them. All of these blank slates were products of a long-running nepotism. He might’ve been the only one alive who succeeded a popular gang leader. Then again, his father lived far too long for his own good and had way too many wives to be considered human.

What annoyed him further was the organization. Only the benefactors received private booths. The non-patrons had to be squeezed in with a potential rival in order to provide more benefits for the ones funding these events.

The suited guards stopped at the front booth on the right. Yoongi bit the inside of his cheek until it almost drew blood when he saw their seating partner.

“Min! Didn’t expect to see you crawl out of your hole.” Kim Namjoon wore the smile of a champion with the attitude of a diseased rat. Since he was part of the three oldest gangs alive, there was much respect to be handed to the man. Except Yoongi had no interest giving him the satisfaction.

So Namjoon made a goal to make his life a living hell.

Namjoons’ eyes flickered over to you, smile softened but gaze sharpened. “The beloved consigliere.” He raked up and down your form. “You look a lot better without business clothes, my lady.”

Yoongis’ grip on your hand tightened as you sat down on the other end of the booth. You pat the back of his hand as a silent comfort.

“Remember why we’re here,” you whispered.

Yoongi nodded. “I know.”

Normally, Yoongi brushed past events of pure greed and showy behaviour. However their syndicate suffered from a planned robbery a week ago. Only one item taken with precision: his mothers’ diamond gun. Everything else was untouched, barely shifted. They knew what they were doing.

You managed to trace it down to Kim Taehyungs’ annual auction. It’ll be natural to assume that Taehyung was the thief but most auction presenters had nothing to do with direct theft. More often than not, they were connected to the thieves to ensure that their place in the web of connections was concealed. Or at least delayed until they could escape to a safe house.

The room darkened; a spotlight shone down the stage. Kim Taehyungs’ lean figure stood proud, adorned in a red silk shirt and his hair curled. A ruby clip glimmered on the side of his head while his rings practically danced on his fingers. “Welcome my beautiful patrons to another friendly exchange of luxuries.” A calculated smile tugged at his lips. “I must say I’ve never seen such variety in a small listing before so this will be one for the ages. The underworld is aware of our rich history, our legends and ancestors who built this country without a trace of credit.”

Taehyungs’ words silenced the crowd to a point where you had to check they were still there.

“Tonight, I have items from each of these legends. Specifically the eight who strengthened that foundation.” Taehyung held a fist up. “Are you all ready?”

An applause indicated their approval earning a satisfied grin from Taehyung.

“Our first item belonged to Don Hayoon of So Pa.” He waved his hand for an assistant to roll the stand into center stage. “A vase made from ox bone and inlaid with gold to create this beautiful marble pattern. Don Hayoon allegedly made it himself during his years of retirement.”

So Pa disbanded eleven years ago due to a police raid in majority of their warehouses but they must’ve missed a few things. Yoongi wondered whether it was taken from the police or the gang itself. The whole retirement story must’ve been a ploy. Don Hayoon had arthritis which is why he had to retire in the first place before embarrassing himself in front of rivals.

Obviously none of these idiots would know that and Taehyung was milking it for what it’s worth.

The price was called and the cards flew up. Anyone with that vase in their house would gain prestige in seconds. It’ll be talked about from all corners of the underworld. Eventually a smug woman in a red suit won the bid.

“I’m surprised you didn’t hold your hand up, Min,” Namjoon spoke. “Considering you’re probably the only person who’s met Don Hayoon.”

“I’ve met him. I’m sure that’s enough for me to go on.” Yoongi landed his hand on your thigh, soft pink chiffon under his rough palm. He squeezed for some kind of comfort and glue to stop him from losing brain cells too early in the night.

“Considering the nature of your parents, I expected you to have more style.”

Nails dents could’ve formed your skin with the way he dug into your thigh. “Darling.” You pulled off his hand.

“Sorry.” Yoongi rubbed the area to somehow soothe it.

“The second item on our list belonged to Don Chun Hei of Mal Pa.” The assistant pushed in the second stand, holding a rose gem necklace which stood on a black velvet altar. “Chun Hei was best known for working closely with the mayor. Her reforms are the very reason these auctions and many other underworld events can be held with elegance and class. This necklace was a gift from the mayor himself. The rose gem is meant to be a culmination of diamond and rose quartz. Whoever made it has long since disappeared but this necklace has carried on this wonderful legacy.”

Chun Hei was someone both you and Yoongi could respect without question. Mal Pa had no age or prestige in the time Chun Hei made a connection to the mayor. She took her simple street gang and turned it into a professional syndicate that still lasted to this day.

You wondered if her descendants knew just the impact she had to the underworld. This item caused a stir amongst the crowd, suffusing the air with an eerie atmosphere of confusion and even anger. As the prices were called out, you noticed two people constantly raising the stakes to the peak until one of them gave up when it stretched too far. Except the one who gained the artefact didn’t look happy. You discovered that the anger came from them. The diamond gun may not have been the only thing stolen.

How many gang leaders was this thief trying to anger?

The power of auctions was the need to be elegant and impressive. Despite a small portion of the crowd knowing what was going on, they couldn’t say anything. Underworld events are where no leader has ultimate power. Everyone had to stay quiet and let the auction proceed.

“The necklace would’ve looked lovely on you, my lady. Perhaps I could buy it off as a gift.” Namjoon rested his hand out on the back of the couch so his fingertips were a breath away from your hair.

“No thank you,” you stated plainly.

If Yoongi didn’t have enough fuel to kill Namjoon before, it was brimming now. Every ounce of patience layered around him so he could sit still on his chair and let the auction go smoothly. He wasn’t going to raise his voice nor his hand first.

“Our third item is a notorious one at best. The famed Sapphire Assassins’ ledger.” Murmurs of recognition spread across the crowd. “Her true name was Mishil, right hand to Don Sungho of Jwi Pa. Sungho was an ambitious gang leader who believed the country’s underworld should have an ultimate master. He anointed himself and hired a professional assassin to kill everyone off on his hit list. Mishil listed all her killings down in this very ledger.”

Excitement coursed through your body seeing the battered old ledger. The blue covers patched with black ink splotches and the pages were tinged brown. You imagined the different ways she could’ve formulated her assassinations; the connections she had to make to be successful in such an elaborate scheme.

“As most of you might be aware, Mishil succeeded in the deaths of many gang leaders. However three gangs were able to execute her and Sungho before chaos could reach its full potential. To this day, no one has ever pulled a deed this vast and destructive. Not a friend to most of our gangs but there is surely a sense of power by having her failed ledger displayed in your home.” Taehyungs’ smirk marked success as soon as he called out for the prices.

Power was a key word to this crowd. While the more hardened members like Yoongi and Namjoon knew it was just a play for sales, Taehyung didn’t relish in the shouting any less.

While your angle wasn’t for power, your fingers still twitched to raise a card. Curiosity tugged at the back of your head, wondering how Mishil managed to gain that many openings and occurrences. Her techniques would’ve been useful in future assignments. All the syndicates you could manipulate for deals and contracts. Getting out of contracts. Anything. So many pieces of information must’ve been overflowing out of that ledger, calling out to you like a siren song. With a small sigh, you calmed the adrenaline pumping through your veins. This auction wasn’t a pleasure trip. You needed to focus.

The ledger was handed off to a man in a navy suit. At best, he would display it on his study like a fool. What a waste.

Reaching into your crystal clutch, you brought out a notepad and pen. If you couldn’t get the ledger now then there is a chance something could be arranged later. The auction was reaching its halfway point which meant the most valuable items are to come now.

“This fourth item belonged to Don Daeshim of Tokki Pa. The gang leader who drove away international syndicates striving to take over the country’s underworld. A bit of a hero. Rumor has it, he took a few drops of blood from each of those international associates and filled this goblet to the top.” Taehyung waved his fingers over the goblet mouth, mesmerizing the crowd like a herd of animals.

You observed the price calling with a brutally sharp eye. It might not seem valuable in the business sense but international associates may have had families and the like. Someone who might want compensation at the right time. You scribbled the description of the one who received the goblet. Thankfully, they had a noticeable scar down their left cheek with a distinguished citrine ring that was only sold by two jewelers.

“I wonder what it’s like having to work for someone you’ve married. Must be a pain hearing requests left to right.” Namjoons’ comment caused another stir in Yoongi but you stayed calm.

“If you think a consigliere simply takes requests then I feel sorry for yours. God forbid they find out they might be worth something more.” You narrowed your gaze.

“The Lady has venom.” Namjoon chuckled. “I mean no insult, of course.”

Yoongi tried to hold in a scoff, biting the inside of his cheek.

Silence spread amongst the three of you as Taehyung announced the fifth item: a gold mask once used to suffocate the Don of Yang Pa so his son could take over quicker. The sixth item was a First Lady’s dress which held at least a kilo of cocaine, hidden in every rhinestone and gem in small portions. It was later confiscated by the police but Gold Dust always knew how to make use of their connections.

Then seventh item caused a stir in Namjoon. For the first time in the night or ever, you noticed a sense of true and pure fury twisting his features.

“Our second to last item is a jade bracelet that belonged to Don Nari of Sutal Pa. A gang as full of mysteries and tragedies as its main rival, Gae Pa. Don Nari was the default leader after a tragic fire struck the Kim family. Leaving her and her young brother the only living descendants.” Taehyung lightly pressed on the bracelet, causing sharp gold spikes to spread out of it. “This was her weapon of choice. People had the habit of grabbing her wrist when they wanted to make a point so she had this bracelet made to show that she was untouched.” He blinked slowly.

“You son of a bitch,” Namjoon whispered under his breath.

“You’re not the only one riled up, Kim. Calm down.” Yoongi glared at Namjoon both as a warning and courtesy nudge to protect himself from embarrassment. “Don’t raise your hand.”

“Fuck off,”

“Namjoon,” Yoongi warned.

Namjoon shifted on his seat, fingers itching to grab onto his gun and shoot the auctioneer right in between his brows.

For once, Yoongi shared his anger. Of all the things they could take from them, they had to target the most precious object tied to a painful memory.

You noted down the buyer immediately. Park Jimin. He was a chain restaurant owner distantly associated with Yoongi but he soon began delving into arts dealing. He should be the easiest one to track down.

Yoongi had been slightly distracted by Namjoons’ downward spiral. His heart jumped before his mind caught up at the sound of his mothers’ name.

“It’s my honor to present to you our final item. The Diamond Gun of Min Areum.”

The gun rested inside a glass case lifted by a velvet lined platform. Lined in gold, encrusted with diamonds, glimmering brighter than the stars in a country sky. Everyone in the audience murmured in excitement, eager to lift their cards for the bidding.

“She was the First Lady of the oldest syndicate alive, Gae Pa. Her life as the wife of Don Min wasn’t pretty and filled with troubles. One day, she took her son to a mysterious jeweler and gave away all her diamond and gold jewelry. See this jeweler specialized in beautifying weapons and he made this priceless work of art. The same gun, Min Areum to shoot down Don Min and take over as Don herself.”

Yoongi could’ve sworn that Taehyung directed a smirk at him. Mocking him of the fact that he had such a prize in his midst. Flailing it right in front of him as a form of public humiliation.

Cards practically flew up to the ceiling in their sheer speed. Prices thrown from the left to right giving Yoongi a headache. He could hear his mothers’ voice, the small purple bruise on left eye as she took him to the jewelry shop every week. It was their only time of peace.

You reached out and touched his thigh, bringing his attention back.

Then a familiar voice brought you both to a still.

“Sold to Kim Namjoon!” Taehyung announced while the crowd huffed and cheered.

Yoongi glared at the man.

“What? You never said I couldn’t buy your shit.” Namjoon relaxed back on the couch, unrelenting in his own glare.

As the auction concluded, Taehyung announced that an afterparty will be held at the top level of Gold Dust. You noticed most of them were ready to jump off their chairs and kill him but he’d already disappeared backstage. Most likely straight to his vehicle so there was no time for anyone to act.

Yoongis’ body radiated a thick air of heat and the glares shared between the two leaders were sharp.

“We’ll settle this where there’s less people, gentlemen. Calm yourselves.” You glanced around at all the patrons and attendees either excitedly murmuring or harshly whispering. It was a strange atmosphere tonight. One can only wish there won’t be any bloodshed.

***

“Are you fucking serious? You know fully well it was stolen from me!” Yoongi growled. Both gang leaders were toe to toe in a dark corner of the club. Others were mingling on their own problems and issues with the auction and some were close to losing their inside voices.

“And I bought it fair and square. Don’t you think it’s a little childish that you’re simply asking me for it?” Namjoon spoke through gritted teeth. “Now get the fuck out of my way. I have business to deal with.”

Yoongi pressed a hand on his chest. “I could give Jimin one word and you’ll never find that bracelet even if it was up your own damn ass. So stay put.”

“I’m the last person you can scare with status, Min. You know this. I’ll snap my fingers—” he raised his hand and snapped his fingers. “—and your wife will be on her knees for me.”

Yoongi pulled out a small silver blade and pressed to Namjoons’ neck. Eyes darkened in fury. Hungry for a taste of his blood staining the floor, for that face to twist in despair.

“Stop it. Both of you.” Your voice struck firm as you pushed them apart. “Don’t you understand why this auction took place?”

Yoongi and Namjoon stared at you in confusion. You sighed in annoyance.

“Someone is trying to play with your minds. Causing you to drop blood so they don’t have to get their hands dirty. Why do you think all those artefacts were dumped into one auction? Where almost all the gangs of this country were attending?” Your eyes flickered from Yoongi to Namjoon. “Doesn’t that sound a little strange? From the naked eye, you’d think they were just silly but clearly—” You gestured at the both of them. “—whatever they’re trying is working. No one knows who the thief is. That causes suspicion and rumors.”

“We start blaming each other for spilling information,” Yoongi continued.

You nodded, relieved that some understanding spread through their faces. “We need to regroup in a neutral zone. Gold Dust isn’t that anymore. Once we find a place and time, we’ll figure what needs to be done. For now, separate.”

The leaders shared another sharp glare at each other before Namjoon walked away. Some of the heads that were turned to them now moved back and Yoongi hid his blade.

“Where’s the fucking restroom?” Yoongi hissed. You took his hand and led him over to the left side of the room, slithering through the crowd.

Two guards were already situated at the doors as Yoongi kept a grip on your hand when you walked into the restroom. The bright lights made him groan in annoyance.

Anyone who saw them enter immediately rushed out. The tension in the auction was so high that nobody wanted to be found near an angry gang leader.

Yoongi leaned forward on the marble sink, breathing ragged and his limbs shaking from anger. The last memory of his mother now rested in someone elses’ hands. Why couldn’t she come up with something less physical? Something that couldn’t be stolen. Namjoon was holding it now. I’ll snap my fingers. He was right. He had the power. There was no ultimate leader to call the shots. Just however reached the flag first. And if he reached first—no. He shook his head. Namjoon wasn’t the problem right now.

He let the water run, wanting the sound to drown any visions or thoughts that made bile reach up to his throat.

“Yoongi,” you muttered, rubbing his arm. “You okay?”

“I tried—I kept my cool but—when you mentioned you—” he rubbed his face roughly. “I—fuck—I could’ve killed him. I could’ve killed him.”

“But you didn’t.” You caressed the back of his head. “It’ll be okay. I know it feels like all the strings that surfaced are jumbled but they’ll come together. We’ve been through much worse than this, okay?”

Yoongi sighed. “I remembered her for the first time in years.” He chuckled sadly. “I thought I lost those memories a long time ago.”

You felt your eyes burn at his voice cracking. Yoongi never talked about his mother. There were only vulnerable moments in the dead of night when Yoongi couldn’t sleep. That was the first time he ever mentioned her. The first time she saw tears in his eyes. “We’ll get it back. No matter what, I promise.” That promise engraved in your mind.

***

The next morning, you rose in nothing but your champagne silk robe and sat at your study. Handwriting letters until your fountain pen emptied of ink and the steaming black coffee turned tepid. Park Jimin held the Kim familys’ prized jade bracelet and Namjoon held the Min Familys’ diamond gun. Clearly, the scandal spread further than the two gangs but your current priority is ensuring a war won’t break out between Namjoon and Yoongi.

Jimins’ death would also result in only chaos.

Gold sunlight gleamed through the white transparent curtains, beaming rays reflecting against the dark mahogany of the study table. Despite the mess in your brain, the morning itself was peaceful. You made sure Yoongi slept a few hours longer than normal so his daily alarm had been temporarily disabled.

Everytime he drowned in his emotions, Yoongi worked himself to the bone as if to make up for his vulnerability. You knew that would only taint the progress they had so far on the investigation.

You sent the letters out through different messengers. They will be followed through an underground trail until it finally reached the two gang leaders. Cupping your now hot cup of coffee, you let out a deep breath, emptying your lungs of the stress as you looked out the painted window of your study.

There was still time left to relax before they started work. Giving the empty cup to a maid, you walked back up to your bedroom.

Yoongi stirred underneath the white, cotton sheets. Bars of gold light shining down his pale skin through the blinds and a cool air kissed your flesh.

Door locked, you padded closer and gently climbed onto the bed. Yoongi draped a tattooed arm over your waist with a drawling hum under his breath.

“Where’d you go?” His voice vibrated through the fabric of the bed, cheek pressed against the pillow and raven hair covered his eyes.

“I sent letters out to the leaders for a meeting.” You kept your voice soft, caressing the dog silhouette on his arm.

Yoongi groaned in annoyance. “I really don’t wanna talk to that asshole. Can’t we do it another time?”

“The most important thing in the world to you has been taken. This is the meeting that’s going to help you get it and you’re going to back down?”

Yoongi rubbed his face before staring at you. “The most important thing in the world to me is lying down right here.”

You smiled, fingers tracing his chest. “The second most important then.”

“That’ll be our dogs.”

You chuckled. “Darling, you know you want it back. This is also going to prevent any brawl between Jimin and Namjoon.”

Yoongi hummed in agreement. In the moment of silence, he reached out and cupped your cheek. You leaned down and kissed him. You moved down, peppering kisses on his jawline and neck.

Yoongi let out a shaky sigh as your lips grazed his chest, gentle brushes against the tender skin where his prior wounds used to be. Trailing your tongue down his torso, the blanket slid off the edges of the bed.

Your hand reached down and gently cupped his crotch, earning a hiss from the man. Yoongi grabbed onto your hair, breaking the kiss so he could look at you. You graced him with a smile. Biting down your lips, you descended down his stomach. Slow pecks down his torso as your fingers hooked the hem of his boxers.

Pulling down the soft material, the tightening member sprung up, blushing at the tip. With another smile, you wrapped your lips around the tip and swallowed the length until it disappeared into your mouth. You closed your throat around his tip before pulling back. Yoongi hummed. Heat exuded from his body blocking out the cool breeze of the air conditioner, adrenaline seeping through his exhaustion.

Spit dribbled down your chin as you took his length again, bobbing you head. Your free hand wrapped around the base, squeezing until you heard a whine. Yoongi fisted the sheets and the other hand buried in your hair. Madness clouded his mind watching your head bouncing on him, drooling at the edges of your mouth and tears glossing your eyes.

Fire burning in the pit of his belly, he held onto both sides of your head and thrusted into your mouth. The tip hit the back of your throat making you whimper. He felt the tightness of his release just hearing the sound of your gagging. The way you obediently stayed still as he fucked your throat. Your panties felt heavy and hot with your arousal, desperately needing to be touched. One hand snuck under your robe, rubbing the soggy material.

Yoongi pulled his length out, enjoying the way you tried to catch your breath before staring up at him in tears. Pulling you back up, he flipped you both around until your body was bent over the soft bed, cheek pressed against the sheets. Pushing up your robe and pulling down your panties down to your knees, he positioned himself at your dripped entrance. Without another warning, he pushed himself in. The sheer squelch and stretch could’ve had you unraveling in seconds.

Vulnerabilities of the early morning had you dripping and softened to the slightest touch of ecstasy. Yoongi shared the same impatience as he fucked into you. Barely any remorse, arousal splattering at every thrust. Nectar dripped through the expensive sheets as the bed shifted from his movements. He grabbed your shoulder to push in deeper until the soft walls of your cervix hugged his tip.

Your moans and his heavy breathing melded together in a melody that reverberated throughout the bedroom. He nudged a thumb through your rim, pushing and hooking before pounding into you again. You fell full and overwhelmed, wanting to explode and fall apart.

You gripped onto the sheets until her nails dug into her own palms. Yoongi pushed your dress up further, caressing your back before smacking your bottom. Another whimper left your lips. He smacked it again.

Yoongi turned you around, lifting you onto his lap. Your back rested on the wood headboard as your arms wrapped around his neck. Sleeves of your robe drooped down your shoulders, barely hanging onto your body. Arousal squirted out of you making both of you laugh. Yoongi let out a blissful sigh as he quickened his pace. The headboard could’ve cracked from the pressure, breathing short and rapid like the speed of his thrusts. Lips latched on the curve of your neck as the pleasure trembled through you.

Before he could mutter anything, you felt the warm liquid burst inside you. Filling your womb until it spilled through the sheets. Yoongi snuck his hand between your legs, pushing you to the edge as your lips barely brushed against each other.

Bliss burst at the seams, ricocheting through every limb until your legs trembled, clasping tight around his hips. Yoongi kissed your jawline and your temple. “Fine.” He breathed out. “One meeting.”

You giggled as your breathing tried to catch up. “Good.”

next chap >> 

#yoongi #thebtswritersclub #yoongi imagines #bts imagines #yoongi fanfic #bts fanfic #yoongi fanfiction #bts fanfiction #yoongi mafia au #bts mafia au

[idontknowijuststartedsomething]

Gravity, Ghost, and Gems

Part 4/???

The Mystery Duo

(Also any weird spacing or spelling is intentional cuz I wanted it to feel like dialogue from the show)

“Dad, do we really have to spend the whole summer at some lame scientist convention. I bet half those guys wouldn’t even acknowledge the real scientific work I’m doing!”

Gaz stares at her brother with contempt for about the eightieth time since they got in the car.

“Oh no son, only I get to go to the science convention. You and your sister will be staying in the town near the science convention. For the. w h o l e s u m m e r. And by near I mean 90 miles away”

“What?!” Dib sprang up from the back seat of the car. “So than why did we have to come? With Zim gone for months I could spend this time getting into his filthy base and learning all his filthy alien secretssssss.”

“ I thought it’d be good for you to get out of the house and experience other things. Also the convention discounts my ticket if I say I have a child in some proximity to me near.”

“Well is there anything to do in this town?”

“As far as I can tell ,no. But at least you’ll taste the fresh woodland air, and get to spend more time with Foodio in the hotel room! Don’t worry kids, I’ll come down from Portland every once in a while to say hello. Just hello.”

Membrane litterally sped off into the distance after he threw his kids and their luggage outside the car. Dib though it was amazing how he could drive so fast and not hit anything, considering this town was really small and compact, with only a few main shops and one shady hotel.

“I’m just glad Zim is away at that InvaderCON in space.”

“Will you be quite for once?”

The hotel room was about what you’d expect from looking at the outside of the building, except ten times worse. As far as Dib could tell he and Gaz were the only actual hotel guests, and the room reflected that. Despite being under the Northwest name, this place didn’t look much better than Skool. After sitting around watching the two TV stations that were available, Dib finally decide he’d had enough and set out to explore the town.

“Some thing is a miss in this town Gaz! Some thing, supernatural. This town is way to normal to be normal. I can smell it, Gaz!”

“I can smell your BO.”

Despite Membrane’s orders that the stay together, Gaz made it very clear she wanted to be left alone with her games. This gave Dib the perfect opportunity to go exploring on his own and sniff out the town’a secrets(if it had any) by himself. He went into a few of the shops on Main Street, and the people seemed nice enough, if not more than a little eccentric. As he made his way down the street he saw a rather odd sight, which for him is saying something. A kid, probably a little older than him, was dancing on the street corner in some costume that looked like a question mark.

“Hey, quick question. Why are you dancing like an moron and dressed like an even bigger moron?” The kid in the costume seemed relieved that Dib said that, since it meant he could drop his weird act.

“I’m supposed to advertise this place I just got a job at. ‘Come to the Mystery Shack, where the worse fears of you and your wallet lie’”. He did a little dance again and handed Dib a flyer.

“A Mystery Shack! That sounds perfect! Just the place to learn the dark inner workings of this unassuming town!”

“Yeah are you done yet kid I’ve got a job to do.” Dib sprinted deep into the woods without answering, and Danny only hoped that his stupid dance didn’t set that kids expectations too high.

Dib followed the signs stapled onto trees, making his way deeper and deeper into the ever darkening woods. Then, he saw it. The rustic building in the middle of nowhere seemed like the perfect place for dark secrets to hide. He didn’t even mind the hokey signs all over the place, until he got inside. His excitement for the truly paranormal faded as soon as he took one look at some of the exhibits in the gift shop. The corn-o-corn? Really? And that thing in glass was obviously a monkey torso poorly stitched to a fish tail. “Ah, come on! Where’s the real paranormal exhibits. Does no one here want real?!” He shouted to the other gift shop patrons, but none of them seemed to care.

“Sorry dude. Nothing’s every really real at the Mystery Shack. I’m amazed Grunkle Stan was able to trick people for so long.” A kid in a blue hat and vest and about Dib’s height appeared behind him.

“Oh so all that stuff was just cheap advertising?”

“You couldn’t tell by the guy in the question costume?”

Dib scrunched up his face and tossed the flyer in disappointment. The kid next to him sort of felt bad, and with quick thinking offered a solution.

“Ya know, I do know a thing or two about real paranormal stuff in this town. Maybe I can show you some of it.”

“Really?” Dib’s face lit up.

“Uh huh. I’m kinda considered the big paranormal investigator in town.” A girl’s laugh came from the other room.

“Thank goodness there’s some real stuff in this town. And I thought I was the only one who could see through the noise. Seek the truth when the truth isn’t there. Could find the diamond under all..”

“Ok calm down dude. If you want I can show you around town. I also have some stuff in my room that’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah sure. It feels nice to meet a fellow believer. I’m Dib, by the way”

“Dipper Pines. Nice to meet you”

#gravity ghosts and gems #dib membrane #dib #dipper pines #gravity falls #invader zim #danny phantom #steven universe #see I told you they’d get here #gravity falls mable #mable pines #gaz membrane #professor membrane #fanfic #phanfiction

[solavillain]

Pas de Deux Ch. 2: Your New Best Friend

+pairing: Spinel x fem!Reader +genre: Drama, romance, angst, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers +warnings: None (for now) +word count: 3K +Chapter 2 / ?  previous || next

Read on AO3!

Eventually, all the Gems emerge, just as off and different as Pearl had been. Garnet hasn’t even reformed, and Ruby is patrolling back and forth near Sapphire, glaring at anyone who got near. Amethyst can only mimic people, and her hair was shorter; her limbs seeming almost like doll joints.

“Steven, what is going on with them?” You ask, worry plain on your face. You had never seen any of the Gems poof, but you knew they didn’t usually come back like...this.

He doesn’t seem to hear you, his gaze focused on the newest Gem, who Pearl had called “Spinel” a few moments ago. She was entirely different from when she had first arrived. Her pigtails were now heart-shaped buns on the top of her head, her clothes were a white and light pink combination rather than the black and deep pink they were when she had landed. And perhaps the biggest change was that her heart shaped gem was no longer upside down. This was certainly strange, as you had never heard about gem positioning changing in between reforming. You’d have to ask Pearl...

“Oh, right,” you think sadly, “she doesn’t have any clue who I am right now.” You turn your attention to Steven and Spinel, tuning back in to their conversation.

“You!” Steven exclaims, rushing over to her and shaking her gently. “What have you done to us?”

Spinel giggles lightly and pokes him on the nose. “Boop! Hee hee, now it’s your turn!”  

She wraps her arms around Steven at least five times, lifts him into the air, and starts to shake him up and down vigorously with a rather vacant look in her eyes.

“Ah! Hey, uh...Spinel?” You say, gingerly placing a hand on her shoulder. “He doesn’t look like he’s enjoying that too much, hmm? Maybe you could put him down?”  

Spinel directs her gaze to the boy in her stretched arms, a worried look briefly flashing over her features before the vacancy returns.   “Okay!” She exclaims cheerfully, and lets Steven fall out of her grip. He falls to the floor unceremoniously, landing on his face.

You move to check on Steven, who seems much weaker than usual. Before you can say anything, Spinel walks up between the two of you and points at the others.

“Hey look! There’s more Gems!” You blink in surprise, wondering how she’s only just noticing them for the first time.   “Well, if she’s really somehow supposed to be Steven’s best friend, maybe it’s a bit like Pearl’s sudden devotion to Greg...”

You turn your attention to your group of friends, your heart sinking with every second you gaze at them. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Amethyst was going to take you to Little Homeworld tonight, you were finally going to spend some time with the “New Crystal Gems” as Bismuth, Lapis and Peridot had taken to calling themselves. You had been so excited...how did this get so twisted? “Oh,” you think snidely, “right. Her.”

The pink Gem standing on your left was now bouncing in place, a small grin plastered across her features. You have to work to stop returning her smile; her happiness seems almost infectious. You can almost forget that she caused all this mess in the first place with her bubbly persona brightening up the room every time she speaks “Let’s ask ‘em to play!” Spinel exclaims, referring to the Crystal Gems.

Steven turns to her, confusion plain on his face, “Wait, you mean you don’t remember?”

“Remember what?”

“Oh boy,” you sigh.   Steven looks between Spinel and the Gems, and groans in frustration, “Just...everyone follow me!” He leads everyone to the base of Lighthouse Park, the Injector still perched smack dab in the center, the sickly pink liquid still bubbling occasionally.  

“Wowee!” Spinel exclaims, “That thing sure is big! You wanna climb it, or something?” She looks to you and Steven, and dances happily in place.   You shake your head with a small smile. “No, Spinel. This Injector is...you brought it here. You said something about it hurting Steven’s human half...” You trail off and look at Steven, who’s standing to your left in between you and Spinel. “You really don’t remember bringing this, attacking us?”

Spinel squints at you and Steven, and one of her spindly arms twists on its way up to scratch her head. “Uh, I did what now?”

You and Steven sigh in unison, exchanging a glance of concern. If she really doesn’t remember, and the Gems are out of commission, this was looking pretty bad. Who knew what that stuff was going to do to Beach City? To the Earth? And as far as you knew, the Cluster was still in the planet’s core, albeit bubbled by Steven. But still, that hadn’t stopped it from activating when the Diamonds had come during Garnet’s wedding. You hadn’t been around for that, as it had been May and you had still been finishing up your college finals, but from the story the Gems had told you , it had certainly been an epic fight. If the Cluster had partially formed from the Diamonds arriving on the surface, who’s to know what would happen if something was injected down to the core?

You turn to Greg, trying to keep thinking positively for Steven’s sake. Greg seems too preoccupied with Pearl right now, or at the very least, trying to get Pearl to stop staring at him.   Suddenly, Lion walks down from the hill, and you smile; Lion always cheers Steven up when he’s feeling down.

“How about you Lion, what do you think of all this?” Steven asks his companion, giving the animal a hug. After a moment, he pulls away, a confused look on his face. “Ugh, what now...” he mumbles, and pulls out Spinel’s weapon from earlier. “Please please please...”

He pushes the retracted scythe against Lion’s mane and lets go, the weapon falling to the sand with a soft thud. You look between him and Lion in concern- you've seen Steven actually jump into Lion before, and store assortments of random objects for later. If he can’t access that power, then...

“What? I can’t store things in Lion’s mane now?! That’s like the easiest thing I do!” Steven exclaims, interrupting your worried thoughts. His shoulders sag for a moment, and he picks up the weapon.  

“Y/n, Dad, what do I do? I’ve got no Gems to help me...except...” He turns towards Little Homeworld, and realization flashes across his face.  

“Oh, duh!” He exclaims, slapping his forehead lightly. “Bismuth, Lapis and Peridot! C’mon guys, let’s go figure out how to fix this!”

You start to follow Steven and Spinel, the latter of whom was bounding after Steven with carefree laughter. You turn after a few steps, as does Steven, realizing you don’t hear anyone else following.

“Uh, guys? Greg?” You ask, taking a couple steps back towards the other group.

“Oh, Um-Greg! Allow me!” Pearl insists, stopping Greg before he could follow you and Steven. She materializes an umbrella from her gem and holds it out over Greg.   “Uh...” He starts, holding out his hands in protest. Amethyst suddenly shape-shifts into Greg, which momentarily confuses Pearl; she switches the umbrella back and forth between the two versions of Steven’s dad.  

“R-Ruby? Sapphire?” Steven calls out, sounding more worried by the second.

“She’s not going anywhere with you!” Ruby yells, taking up a defensive stance in front of Sapphire. “I...do see us following him to the country-side,” Sapphire remarks, and begins to walk towards Steven, nodding to you as she passes.

“Never mind! We’re going...” Ruby says reluctantly, and rushes ahead to Sapphire, who has already surpassed the group.

“Wait! Don’t leave me alone with these two!” Greg calls out, glancing worriedly at Pearl and Amethyst, who still hasn’t shifted back to her regular form.

“Steven, do you want me to stay with them?” You ask, trying to be as much help as you possibly can be. Spinel's face darkens and she moves closer to you, but avoids looking directly at you. “What’s that about...” You think, glancing to the pink Gem.

“Dad can handle Pearl and Amethyst. They’re harmless, and he knows them, so he’ll be fine. I just...Kinda want another human around while we figure everything out, especially since Connie can’t be here.”

Your gaze softens, and you remember that Steven really is just a teenager. An extraordinary teenager who has done countless good deeds for the Earth and for the universe as a whole, but a teenager nonetheless. You can’t imagine how off-putting it must be to not be able to control his powers anymore, and to have no idea how to solve the mess Spinel has caused.

“Yeah, dude, I have your back,” you say with a reassuring pat to Steven’s shoulder. “Lead the way! I was supposed to see Bismuth and the others tonight anyway, so I’m all set for however long this ends up taking.”

The group opts to make the trek to Little Homeworld, foregoing the warp for now. Steven said that part was still under construction, and though he’d used it earlier today, he didn’t know if it had been installed yet. He didn’t want your whole group to walk off the warp pad and fall 50 feet. That was fine with you- you'd only warped a couple times, when Pearl wanted to explain some Gem battles or train you in the Sky Arena. You still hadn’t quite gotten the hang of it, and it always took you a couple minutes after warping to feel regular again. You wanted to have all your wits about you for today, and with the Injector looming above the town doing who knows what to the Earth, you definitely need a clear head.

After the slightly long walk to the town, Steven found the three “New Crystal Gems” on top of one of the buildings still under construction. Bismuth was always hard at work, and you really admired her work ethic with everything she does, even if she can get a bit intense about it sometimes.

Steven leads your group over to a small lift on the side of the building, and you all make the slow ascent. You glance over at Steven, who’s doing his best to not look utterly defeated.

“Hey dude, you all right?” You ask softly.

“Yeah, I... well, no, honestly I’m not, Y/n,” Steven answers honestly. “I’m so worried about the Gems, and I’m even more worried about that thing,” he gestures to the Injector, “and I just want this to be over so I can get back to my happily ever after. Everything was going so well...”  

“Hey, it’s okay not to be all right,” you say sympathetically, “I’m worried as hell too. And I can't even really do anything to help...”

“You’re helping right now,” Steven says with a kind smile.  

You return his smile as the lift reaches the top. The three Gems don’t seem to notice your group immediately; they’re gazing out over Little Homeworld, lost in conversation.  

Steven calls out to get their attention, "Bismuth, Lapis, Peridot! Guys, I’m really glad to see you.”  

The group turns, and Peridot’s face lights up. “Steven! And Y/n, too, hi! Look, now Little Homeworld is 91.4% complete!” Steven gives her a weak smile, “That’s...great Peridot, really. But I think you guys should take a look at something...”

He gestures back towards Beach City and the Injector with a grim look on his face. You walk to the side of the building with them as Peridot pulls out binoculars from a box and stares at the Injector.

“She rode in on that?!” Peridot exclaims, lowering the binoculars and looking at you and Steven in disbelief.

“Yeah...she said my human half wouldn’t stand a chance against her Injector,” Steven replies.

“What does that mean?” Lapis asks, exchanging a look with Peridot as Bismuth walks back towards Ruby and Sappire. “No idea,” Steven replies, “but if it’s something that will hurt my human half, then it can’t be good for Y/n, or the rest of Beach City either...”

“Why don’t we just ask her?” Peridot asks, looking around for Spinel.

You look around as well- you haven’t seen her since you got to the top of the building; where could she be? Did she remember something and run off to attack Pearl and Amethyst? You start to panic, until she pops up from behind Steven yelling, “Surprise!”

You roll your eyes, fighting back a small smile. She definitely hasn’t remembered anything yet, and in this form she’s still rather endearing. If a bit annoying...

“Here she is...my new best friend, Spinel,” Steven says with a sigh, presenting the Gem to the others.

“A pleasure to meet you all,” Spinel says with a flourish and a bow. She glances up at you staring at her and giggles and winks.  

“What...?”

Before you can think too much about it, Bismuth interrupts your thoughts. “I thought you said she was just trying to kill you?”

“Wow, quick turn around,” Lapis says with a mischievous look in her eye.

“No kidding! It took me months to stop trying to kill Steven,” Peridot remarks.

“Eh, for me it was a day, day and a half,” Bismuth jokes, grinning at her friends.

“I’m still on the fence,” Lapis says, which causes the group to burst into laughter. You giggle along, momentarily forgetting the dire situation. You had a feeling that once this was all over, you were really going to love getting to know this group. They seemed like such great friends, and it felt like you and Amethyst would blend in easily whenever you all got together.

“All right, let's see this thing she hit you with,” Peridot says, turning to you and Steven with a determined look on her features. You step aside, moving next to Spinel so Steven and Peridot can have some space to examine the weapon.

“Psst! Hey, you! What’s goin’ on?” Spinel asks in a loud whisper, tugging on your arm.

You look down to your left. She’s shorter in this form, and though you’re about average height, she’s still a couple inches shorter than you, her heart-shaped buns just reaching the middle of your face.  

You give her a small smile and reply, “Well, you don’t remember, I guess, but you brought that weapon they’re examining, so we’re trying to figure out what it is and what it did to everyone.” You gesture towards Ruby and Sapphire. “Those two don’t normally...look or act like this, and we want to get everyone back to normal so we can help save Beach City. We don’t know what the Injector you brought does...but we want to stop it before anything bad happens.”

Spinel stares up at you, intently listening to every word. “Ooh, I get it! Ok, I’ll help too!” She exclaims, standing up straighter and puffing her chest out slightly. You giggle, finding her posturing rather cute. She may still not have any clue what was going on, but at least she’s trying.

Spinel grins, glancing at you from the side, not moving from her important helpful position.   “She seems happy that she made me laugh,” you think fondly, returning her smile.  

Just then, Bismuth snatches the scythe from Peridot, who had been holding it up to her eye. You jump in surprise, turning your attention back to the conversation.

“Be careful with that!” She warns, “It’s a rejuvenator.”

Pressing on the button, Bismuth displays the weapon for everyone, carefully holding it out at arm's length. You flash back to a few hours ago, when the innocent Gem to your left had been attacking your friends and causing them to forget you. You furrow your brow at the thought, your heart feeling sad again. You can’t allow yourself to get so caught up in Spinel’s games that you forget what she’s done, even if she’s forgotten herself.

Bismuth continues her explanation. “Homeworld used to use these things on Gems that started steppin’ outta line. One hit with this...you’re back to how they made you,” she finishes, gazing down at Ruby and Sapphire sadly.

“What are you looking at,” Ruby says, holding out a protective hand in front of her Sapphire.

Your eyes widen as Bismuth’s explanation sinks in- the Gems, your friends...they really were reset. They had no idea who you were, where they were, and-  

“Oh, Steven,” you say kindly, placing a tentative hand on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

“Oh my stars, I touched it!”

You turn to Peridot at her outburst, a disbelieving look on her face.

“I could have lost all my character development!”  

You snort, trying to hold in laughter. Peridot was definitely funny as hell, whether she tried to be or not. Suddenly, a thought strikes you.

“Wait...how did you survive being hit by the rejuvenator, Steven? I know you’re only half Gem, but still...”

He furrows his brow, but then a look of realization comes over him. “I...I think I didn’t,” he answers, “My human half kept me from poofing, but- but my Gem half, it took the hit! She sent me back; it’s like I’m a kid again! I can barely control my powers...how do we reverse this?” Steven looks frantically between you and the New Crystal Gems, searching for answers. Bismuth holds out the retracted weapon and places it back in Steven’s hand. You meet his eyes, trying to reassure him with a look. But you don’t have any answers for him. You wrap your arms around your middle, trying to hold it together for him. For everyone. You know you can’t do much, not to the extent that a Gem or even Connie can do, but you can at least be emotionally strong for your friends.  

“You’re the one with healing powers...” Lapis says softly, “If anyone can fix this, it’s you.”

“I can’t believe this...for the first time in years, everyone’s in danger, everybody needs me! And I’m useless!” Steven glances worriedly at the Injector, and then at Spinel, who hasn’t left your side since she made you laugh.  

He turns towards Bismuth and asks, “What do we do?” “I’m sorry, Steven...I don’t know.”

You turn to Bismuth in shock. Even she doesn’t know? And she knew what the weapon was...but has no way to fix it.  

Things were looking grim.

#spinel #pas de deux #spinel fanfiction #spinel x reader #steven universe #spinel steven universe #spinel x reader fic #steven universe fanfiction

[fanfoolishness]

Steven Universe: Future thoughts

Spoilers for the first four episodes below the jump!  All sorts of rambling ahead!  Please message me or reblog to share your thoughts, I wanna talk about it all!

I’ll try to organize things by episode.  I won’t be able to rewatch them until they go up on Apple TV so this is all off the cuff.  AHOY!

1x01 Little Homeschool

Steven has White, Blue and Yellow essences in his bathroom cupboard.  Maybe keep a bottle of your own spit just to be safe?  You never know? 

Aww Cherry Quartz is cute.  Did she actually get named? I assume that’s who that is.

I had thought that shot in the trailer was going to be Pink Smoky Quartz.   I was wrong, but then we DO get Pink Smoky Quartz next episode ahhhh!

We all know Steven drew that picture of himself and the Diamonds on the brochure.  

I like to think that Steven keeps up with his drawing during quiet times, and while he isn’t technically great, most 16-year-old artists aren’t great per se.  What’s important is that he keeps doing it and he’ll keep getting better!

Little Homeschool looks awesome and I want to go make some morps with Vidalia.  Wait, were Lapis and Peridot there? I don’t remember.  They should be!

I’m so glad Jasper isn’t the big bad!!! And I love that she’s just antisocial but not actively harming anyone (beetles and grass aside).  

Still no explanation for the blanket, I love it

STEVEN GO OFF, YOU TELL HER NOT TO HURT THAT BEETLE

Whoa Steven, that rage is juuuuust below the surface these days, isn’t it?  I get being annoyed at Jasper and I’m sure this isn’t the first time they’ve had this discussion but he really does just go off on her pretty damn quickly, and several times.

I am concerned that he referenced her corrupting herself.  I DON’T WANT CORRUPTED STEVEN Y’ALL, this better not be foreshadowing!!!!!

Honestly Jasper just needs to get into wrestling, I’m shocked Amethyst and Steven haven’t pointed this out to her

I’m dying at her attacking all the Earthlings in her little radius

Awww Steven, at first he’s really intrigued by Diamond Mode and wants to learn how to use it better.  So optimistic!

Except you totally killed about 10 conifers and only healed one, so way to hurt the forest dude

Am I the only one wondering how conflicted Dr. Maheswaren must feel, knowing Steven can heal all this crazy shit and that a) she’s toiling at doing it the old-fashioned way, b) he could really help her patients, and c) he isn’t?

Looking forward to seeing Steven and Jasper talk again, but I really hope it’s not because Steven’s been corrupted and is trying to get over it.  Urrrgh no ;_;

I do want to see if she has tips for how to control anger.  Or how to use it and learn from it.  But I’m not sure she knows either.

Steven is a shark.  Because if he’s not swimming, he’s sinking.  And swimming to him is helping people.  If he can’t do that, if he can’t do what he’s supposed to do in his mind, what is he doing?  He’s gonna sink this season and it’s gonna be FUCKING SPECTACULAR.

1x02 Guidance

Amethyst is so proud of herself!  It’s awesome!

Steven is clearly a little uncomfortable that he didn’t come up with the idea, isn’t he?  He also has a hard time figuring out that there are ways to use what you’re made for instead of having to run from it.  Of course, that isn’t true for everyone.  Little Larimar did love screams and children more than ice.  The best lesson is that people are different, some are comfortable working in a certain zone whereas others need to struggle past it to feel complete.

Amethyst was sitting in front of the Teens of Rage video game.  I FEEL THIS WILL BE SIGNIFICANT Y’ALL.

I’m just so glad Mr. Smiley finally isn’t understaffed. He could take a day off and go visit Mr. Frowny!

Uncle Andy is back!  Yay!  And he’s getting involved with Beach City in general, I’m really happy to see him putting down some roots.

Smoky Quartz is back!

PINK SMOKY HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THEM GO

Love love love the pink/purple asides for the Steven and Amethyst debate while being Smoky Quartz

TIME SLOWING/SUPER SPEED POWERS??? I WAS NOT PREPARED

The roller coaster exploded IN THE OCEAN I can’t EVEN

So far both Steven and Amethyst are intrigued and impressed by Diamond Mode, and sure, it seems harmless now... 

Steven is worried he’s losing his touch helping people.  That makes me worried that that’s part of a bigger feeling, not just this particular snafu.

Amethyst being so direct is often the one who gets closest to Steven talking about his feelings.  He started to go there, but then Little Larimar showed up again with their terrifying talk about screams....

1x03 Rose Buds

I’m really glad Greg and the Gems aren’t giving Steven shit about not wanting Rose to be looming over him in portrait form.  Now if y’all will also TALK to Steven about how he feels about it... but at least they’re okay with him removing the portrait.

HOOOOOOLY SHIT Y’ALL

I’m so happy J-10 and Y-6 are back!

OMFG they are NOT over Greg and it’s amazing

GAH-REG HOW COULD YOU

I’m glad the Zoomans are in control of their own destiny and able to go where they wish!  

no no no no no no no no no no we all know what’s coming here

Coming face to face with Rose Quartzes = instant KO for one Steven Universe

I almost had a panic attack with him as the Roses clustered around him and the music got tenser and tenser and the camera zoomed in on his face and that was fucking INTENSE PEOPLE

Greg seeing the Roses and just noping the fuck outta there, amazing, everyone in this family is so repressed

Poor Garnet and Pearl hiding in the bathroom

“Yeah, it’s weird”

Poor Rose Quartz-who-most-looks-like-our-Rose-Quartz, it’s clear she is much more emotionally in tune than the other two (due to her belly gem placement?)

STEVEN GOT NEW PAJAMAS

but let him sleep shirtless you cowards!

Also he just looked... so GROWNUP in that scene by the warp pad?  His proportions were just no longer little kidlike?  And he is still cutely beefy but not really little-kid chubby anymore and teen me would have had it BAD for him at this point, I’m just sayin’

Steven is S O O O O   S T R E S S E D   R I G H T   N O W

he’s eating his fucking blanket in an attempt to not talk about his problems I CAN’T

also HAVE WE NOTICED that Steven will eventually end up telling strangers at least some of what’s bothering him, but never the people who actually love and care about him

this episode was so damn tense it is masterful

I’m glad they managed to talk things out a little

but clearly Steven is still, as always, just scratching the surface, this poor kid just needs to GO OFF.

did he go pink in this one from stress for a second?  Or was that the next one? 

1x04 Volleyball

You cannot tell me that that white coat is not a hand-me-down from Dr. Maheswaren, it is CANON IN MY MIND

also damn how many Gems are cracking themselves right and left that this needs to happen regularly?

seriously though Steven, you might just want to get a spittoon and start sending one to every hospital ever, you would undo A LOT of human suffering....

Steven honey I’m so sorry your mom did you so wrong and I’m so sorry you’re so scared of everything to do with her and NONE OF IT IS YOUR FAULT OKAY

but maybe also you need to learn how to face some of this stuff so it doesn’t scare you so badly

Poor Pink Pearl!

Volleyball? Seriously Steven? so insensitive how do you know Pink didn’t throw a volleyball at her head

Poor Pearl and Volleyball feeling so jealous about each other

Volleyball is 8000 years old??  damn how old was Pink?

oooooooh the Reef!  so cool and mysterious!  Look at all those Pearl possibilities!

So Pink damaged her Pearl, and she sent her to the Reef for repair.  They fixed her gem, but when she reformed, the trauma was still so severe that she reformed with the crack.  Oh man :(

Now again I don’t want Corrupted Steven but you could probably wrangle that into support for the theory.

I prefer to think that Steven will do something different than straight-up Corruption to himself, but we could see something like the crack form instead of Corruption.

Willing himself into a monster form only works if he thinks of himself completely as a monster.  Right now he thinks Pink is the monster, and he thinks, finally, that he isn’t Pink.  So either he’d have to really hurt somebody and then view himself as a monster, or, my preference, he would develop something like a scar or pink eyes or stay pink all the time or something until he’s figured out his issues.

I JUST DON’T WANT HIM TO HAVE HORNS, YOU GUYS.

Pearl WAS protecting Volleyball from Steven oh NOOOOO

STEVEN SONIC SCREAM

So we’ve got Diamond Mode Strength, Super Speed, and Sonic Scream, man oh man oh man

this finally makes sense because all the other Diamonds have such well-developed offensive powers

Pink must have been like “no those are dangerous I don’t want them, what else can I do” and developed her healing powers secretly

I always wondered why the Diamonds never recognized Rose Quartz’s healing tears or shield as belonging to Pink

And it must be that she never showed it to them

They maybe only knew about her offensive powers

MEGA PEARL IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND WISE AND HER RIBBON DANCING IS SO MAGNIFICENT AND I LOVE THEM JUST TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER YOU TWO

I can’t believe we got a new fusion so quickly!!!!

Fuck that bitch Shell amirite

look, someone help Steven.

Please help Steven.

HELP. STEVEN.

No new trailer for next week???? COWARDS

omg someone please please scream about all this with me

#steven universe spoilers #steven universe future #steven universe future spoilers #suf spoilers #suf #steven universe: future #steven universe: future spoilers #spoilers #steven universe #su:f spoilers #su:f #haha i have tagged this to high heaven #it's a long-ass post! #please feel free to message me or reblog to share your own thoughts!!!! #fanfoolishness su meta

[1nkera]

Rating: T Fandom: Steven Universe Characters: Pearl, Garnet, Amethyst, & Steven Content Warning: Slight violence/choking within the nightmare.  Summary: Takes place after SU Future. Pearl has a nightmare about a past memory, and it's up to the gem family to comfort her. AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23967757 Notes: Just a quick fic I wrote while feeling sad. I wanted to explore Pearl's feelings about Pink Diamond's order of silence because let's face it... it's pretty messed up. Past Pearl/Rose relationship, but not always described in a good light. Just as a warning. You know this is crazy, right? Your status, my purpose… None of it will matter anymore. This will change everything.

I know. Isn’t it exciting? 

Rose’s enthusiasm was infectious, just like it had been the first time they met all those years ago. Pearl didn’t know the exact moment she fell in love with her, but she did know one thing: everything Pearl did, she did for Rose. Throwing herself in front of an ax meant for her Diamond was child’s play compared to the risk they would both be taking with this stunt, but Pearl would go to the ends of the Earth for her if she asked. 

It is. 

Pearl had said this shyly, with a blush. The very idea was quite romantic, wasn’t it? 

We can leave our own lives behind. 

Pearl had known all along that her Diamond desperately wanted to escape her past, and a small selfish part of her wanted to whisk her away to a place where they could spend the rest of their lives in peace, not worrying about the next fight or which comrades they might lose the following day. After all they had been through, didn’t they deserve this? 

Didn’t they deserve to rest?

I want to live here with you. We’ll both finally be free!

It was easy for Pearl to get lost in the fantasy and push away the impending consequences to the back of her mind, far behind the beautiful memories they’ll surely make together in their new world, behind their happiness, and love, and…

There’s one last thing I need to do.

All Rose needed to do was ask, and Pearl would do it. 

Yes?

No one can ever find out we did this. I never want to look back.

Rose’s soft and loving hands folded over Pearl’s, and her heart skipped a beat. Pearl wanted to intertwine their fingers together so they could never be pulled apart, not even if the world was ending. No matter the consequences of their actions, if they faced this together, they could get through anything. 

For my last order to you as a Diamond, please, let’s never speak of this again. 

It made sense; the rebellion could never find out or else all their hard work would be for nothing. Pearl thought of how Garnet - her best friend - would react to the knowledge of their fearless leader fabricating a war against herself; how Rose’s feelings toward the fusion would appear to be nothing but empty words. How the deaths of their comrades would mean nothing - just worthless gem shards to be blown away with the wind. 

She thought of Bismuth, of Biggs and Snowflake and all the other gems that entrusted their very lives and futures to Rose. All of that would mean nothing in the face of the truth.

No one can know.

It made sense. But something about this whole situation felt wrong.

It was at this point where those beautiful, kind eyes that Pearl was so used to gazing into on those warm, summer evenings grew into something hard and unfamiliar. There was a darkness hiding behind those orbs that Pearl had once seen directed toward Rose’s enemies - the gems threatening the very safety of her friends. Not once had Pearl thought they would ever be directed toward her. 

Rose’s large grip tightened over Pearl’s tiny, delicate hands to the point of pain, and she winced, confusion clouding her eyes.

R...Rose?

Rose lifted both her and Pearl’s hands and placed them over Pearl’s mouth, muffling a surprised whimper. 

My Pearl… 

The words were said with such sorrow and regret that Pearl’s chest ached with sympathy, even as Rose led her backward toward the wall of the palanquin, even when the air was knocked out of her lungs as her back slammed against the grating.

Pearl was crying now - large drops of tears slid down her pale cheeks and over their intertwined fingers that were still held tightly over her lips. A large hand slid its way down and around Pearl’s throat, where fingers tightened and dug into her airway, leaving crescent shaped marks. Pearl locked eyes with the other woman, frantically searching for answers. 

Where Pearl once found love and acceptance, a comfort from the storm of their shared secrets, she now only saw cold calculation and emptiness, an unfeeling void that left Pearl shivering. 

Rose - no, this impostor; this can’t possibly be the same woman she fell in love with - pressed harder with the hand over Pearl’s mouth, causing the back of her head to scrape against the grating. 

The hand around her throat squeezed impossibly tighter. Pearl tried to take in air to tell Rose that she was hurting her but was blocked by the strong fingers pressing in ever tighter, and she just couldn’t understand why the woman she loved would do such a thing, and after all these years, didn’t Rose trust her? But all she could process was the pain on her throat and the pain in her chest and how could she do this -

With a gasp, Pearl shot up from the floor near Steven’s bed, chest heaving as she tried to intake the air she was denied. The room was pitch black with the exception of the crescent moon shining its light through pane glass windows, but she knew the layout well enough to understand and process that this wasn’t the palanquin and that it was only a dream. She raised a trembling hand to her throat to make sure those fingers weren’t still squeezing into it, letting out a weak laugh when she found nothing but the cold sweat coating her skin. 

Now that she was a little more grounded in reality, memories of the past few days came flooding back to her. Steven had decided to stop by for a visit half way through his road trip, and he was greeted with an over enthusiastic welcoming party - admittedly due to Pearl not quite accepting that their previous party plans were up to standard. Most of Beach City had attended the festivities that started in the morning and lasted well into the evening. After all the guests had left for the night, Amethyst suggested they have a slumber party for old times’ sake in Steven’s old room, which Greg was more than happy to give up for one night. 

Pearl hadn’t expected to fall asleep; she wanted to spend as much time with Steven as she could before he left again. However, she found herself the only one still awake long past midnight, and she must have drifted off without meaning to. 

Even with the limited visibility, Pearl could make out the outlines of three nearby crouched figures, and as her eyes adjusted to the dark, the three worried faces of her best friends stared back at her. 

Steven was the first to speak, his voice wavering. “Pearl? Are you okay?” The old, familiar kindness in his eyes made Pearl’s chest ache, and she almost started crying at the memory. Steven wasn’t Rose. Pearl should be past this; she was healing, damn it. So why did all these old feelings come flooding back? 

Pearl fiddled with her fingers, glistening eyes darting to the floor. “Yes… Yes, I’m fine.” By the glances shared between the three of them, her answer wasn’t very convincing. “It was just a bad dream.”

Garnet shuffled closer, putting a comforting arm around Pearl’s shoulder. Pearl sighed and rested her cheek on the other gem’s chest, leaning into the embrace. She always felt safe with the fusion, even after thousands of years together, even after everything they’ve been through. Besides Rose, she had been the only constant in Pearl’s erratic life during the rebellion, and nothing could change that connection they shared. Garnet took a steadying breath before murmuring, “I should tell you…”

“Hmm?”

“Your dream was projecting again.” 

Pearl’s heart almost stopped. “How... much did you see?” 

“All of it.” 

Amethyst recognized the beginning of Pearl’s panic, so she interjected, taking the alabaster gem’s trembling hand between two of her own, “Hey, it’s okay. You know you can talk to us, right?”

Any other time, Pearl would have been impressed by Amethyst’s growth over the past few years. Not too long ago, their relationship would have been too awkward to discuss complicated feelings, but here she was, comforting Pearl after a nightmare instead of cracking a joke to ease the tension. Instead, Pearl let out a shaky breath that gradually transformed into a strained sob. She curled herself more into Garnet’s chest, shoulders shuddering, as she bit her lip in an effort to conceal the whimpers emitting from her lips. 

With Garnet situated on Pearl’s left, Amethyst shifted closer to her right side and flung her arms around the other gem’s waist, gently resting her temple upon Pearl’s shoulder. Steven was on Amethyst’s right side, clinging onto her arm as well. The four of them sat huddled together against the foot of the bed as they waited until Pearl was ready to talk.

“Steven,” whispered Pearl, nearly imperceptible in the small room. The boy in question perked up at the mention of his name after nearly half an hour of silence. “You shouldn’t have had to see that. I’m sorry.” 

“Pearl.” His tone was insistent and concerned. “You should worry about yourself right now.”

“No,” replied Pearl, her voice surprisingly stern after all her crying. “I’m done pushing my past onto you.” She reached over Amethyst to gently squeeze Steven’s hand in reassurance. “I’m so sorry for how I hurt you in the past.” 

Steven swallowed and nodded, not quite sure how to respond. Instead, he said, “It was different from the memory I saw in your gem.”

Pearl shook her head. “This one was just a dream. Rose would never...” She hesitated. “Rose would never harm me like that.” 

“All this time, you were ordered to keep her secrets,” Garnet breathed, and Pearl turned to gaze at the taller gem. “You explained before about the order of silence, but the implications… I didn’t think to consider how you might have been affected, how Rose could have betrayed your trust like that. After the truth came out, Ruby and Sapphire were focused on coming to terms with the meaning of their relationship, and then there was the wedding to plan, followed by the trip to Homeworld…”

Pearl cuddled closer to the fusion, resting her head in the crook of the other gem’s neck. “We had bigger things to worry about.”

“No,” stated Garnet, lifting Pearl’s chin with a finger to meet her gaze. “Your feelings matter. You didn’t deserve what she did, Pearl. No one does.”

“It’s not like I don’t understand why she did it,” confessed Pearl. She lowered her gaze to the hardwood floor, fiddling with the edge of one of the panels. “In a time of war… it made the most sense.”

“She took advantage of you,” Garnet sighed into the smaller gem’s hair. “She treated you like a Pearl, against everything she preached about equality and empowerment. She took away your choice to confide in your friends, making you bear that burden for her for thousands of years.” 

“I…”

“Garnet has a point,” Amethyst insisted. “There’s no reason to defend her now, P. Especially after all she’s done. She hurt you, and there’s no rationalizing that away.”

“She was the whole reason for the rebellion,” Pearl uttered weakly. “For Earth’s independence, for us to live freely.” She clenched her eyes shut as a tear made its way down her cheek. “If she could do all those wonderful things but also hurt me so badly… then who exactly did I fall in love with?”

Garnet pulled the alabaster gem to her chest again, feeling the way her shoulders shuddered under her sobs. The larger gem rubbed her hand soothingly over her back. “There’s no straight answer for that, unfortunately. But you can allow yourself to feel bad about her, Pearl. It’s okay to be upset.” 

Pearl sniffled. “It feels like a betrayal of everything she stood for. A betrayal of our relationship.”

Garnet gave a sad smile. “Life isn’t so black and white as that.”

Pearl took a moment to contemplate. She thought of how Rose would take her on walks along the coast near the temple, gushing about the beauty of the planet they were proud to defend. She thought of the first time they fully fused under the starlit sky; it had been a happy accident that left them giggling and cuddling for hours afterward, not wanting to be apart for even a second. 

Then, she thought about Volleyball and her cracked eye - the Pink Pearl’s reaction to Steven’s anger as she cowered to the floor, afraid that another Pink Diamond would deliver another permanent injury upon her. She thought of her own selfishness and blindness to the truth that she had the gall to question the former Pink Pearl’s accusations. 

A pit opened in her stomach. “I’m making excuses for her again, aren’t I?”

The surrounding gems said nothing but instead offered their silent support and reassurance in the form of comforting touches and hugs. Wearily, Pearl leaned back against the foot of the bed. She was so tired - of dealing with the remnants of what Rose left behind, of the repercussions of her actions that rippled through time that stung even after thousands of years. She was tired of the small part of her that still clung to their broken relationship like a lifeline. But she knew that despite all of these setbacks and tribulations, her family would be by her side, ready to take on the storm.

Outside in the distance, the dark night sky gave way to warm hues as the sun started to creep over the horizon. Chirping bird songs filled the air, indicating the start of a brand new day. 

When Steven failed to stifle a yawn as he settled his head onto Amethyst’s shoulder as a makeshift pillow, Pearl frowned. “Steven, you’re going to get a sore neck. Please sleep on your bed.”

The boy shook his head. “Nope.”

“But -”

Steven reached over to grab a pillow from the bed and went back to his original position on Amethyst’s shoulder, this time throwing his arms around her waist. “It’s cuddle time.”

“Steven…”

Amethyst guffawed, hooking her arms around Steven and Pearl at the same time, pulling them close. Pearl made a surprised noise as her nose almost crashed into the smaller gem’s head during the motion. “Group hug!”

Pearl sputtered, “This isn’t sustainable -”

Garnet hummed and ruffled Pearl’s hair affectionately, before pulling all four of them into one big cuddle pile, much to Steven and Amethyst’s delight. “Cuddle time.”

Pearl sighed exasperatedly over their giggles, before giving a soft smile as she looked over her family who had stuck by her side all these years. “Okay, just this once.” 

This time, when Pearl closed her eyes, she was greeted with a dreamless sleep, embraced by the people she loved.

~~~ Notes: I do believe Pearl and Rose loved each other, but one of the most important lessons of the show imo was that people can hurt those they love unintentionally, & I wanted to explore the ramifications of that, especially when Pink/Rose failed to make up for it before she reformed into Steven.  Thanks for reading! Any concrit is welcome. 

#steven universe #steven universe future #pearl #garnet #amethyst #rose quartz #pink diamond #ao3 #fanfiction #mine

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day One Hundred Fifty-Eight: In A Garden ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Uzumaki Naruto, Tenten ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

“...you’re kidding, right?”

“Nope.”

“...but...why?”

“Cuz it’s fun, dude!”

Sasuke deadpans. “...dressing up in costumes and acting, in real time...is fun.”

“Yeah! LARPing is amazing! A few friends of mine from my old school were into it when we were kids! And since I’ve been getting back into contact with ‘em, I asked if they still did it? And they do! And we are totally going to a session and -”

“No.”

“But -!”

“That is the dorkiest thing I’ve ever heard of. I wouldn’t be caught dead doing that.”

“But Sasuke -” Naruto begs, curling fists under his chin. “I told everybody we’d be there!”

“You need to stop making promises on my behalf, Naruto.”

“C’mon, man! You tellin’ me you’ve never wanted to be, like...a badass knight? Or...or a mage? You never played games like that?”

“Yeah. Games. Where I sit and be myself, playing a game. I’ve never thought I should become the game.”

“Dude...do you know anything about cosplay?”

“...yeah. I do.”

“Y’ever looked at some really hot cosplay girls?”

A light tint of pink colors the Uchiha’s face. “...I’ve seen them, yeah.”

“Well, it’s like that...only they actually stay in character. And you get to interact with them, in character! And you can have battles, and sit in a tavern, and look awesome! I promise you’ll have fun. And like I said, it’s mostly people from my old school! You wouldn’t even know anyone there to be all embarrassed in front of!” Naruto nudges him in the ribs. “We’ll get you looking awesome, and they’ll just be impressed!”

Sasuke heaves a long sigh, staring at his friend skeptically. “...and what, pray tell, did you have in mind for me to wear?”

Sensing he’s convinced him, Naruto gives a wide, devious smile. “Oh, I think you’re gonna like it…!”

The event, as it turns out, is being hosted in a large park across town. Good, Sasuke can’t help but think. Fewer chances of being spotted by someone he knows.

Because while he’ll never admit it...he does look awesome. But...that also plays against him for looking like he’s taking this seriously.

Donning a thief build getup, his scheme is black and a midnight blue, with highlights of silver. It’s actually made of leather, for the most part. The armor, at least. He’s got boots, trousers, a tunic...and his armor. A chest plate, bracers, shin guards...the whole works.

And he hates that Naruto was right. Though he tried to resist...the more he looked at himself in the mirror...the more he thought he actually looked...really cool. And he can totally pull off a thief character.

Otherwise, he’s just a human - no pointy elf ears or orc makeup. That...would be taking it  a little far, in his opinion. Wielding a foam dagger, he only has a scar painted over an eye.

You know, just to add to the badass image.

Getting out of Naruto’s car, they soon see the ruckus. A fair number of people - more than Sasuke expects - are out in the grass. A gazebo seems to be a make-believe tavern, coolers of drinks (non-alcoholic - they’re still minors, after all) and food are made up to look like chests. There’s a fair amount of variety in the costumes - both in terms of characters, and of skill level. And no one seems to be ripping on each other. They’re just...having fun. A few people spar with their false weapons...others sit and talk with tankards. One guy even looks to be selling potions...which are just funny colored water.

“Sooo...whaddaya think?” Naruto asks, leaning against his friend to jostle him, wiggling his eyebrows.

“...looks like a nerdfest.”

“An AWESOME nerdfest!” the blond declares, lifting his broadsword. He, of course, is a knight...with armor Sasuke will admit is even more impressive than his own.

“So, where are all the girls?”

“Oh! I think Shikamaru said they were having a, uh...a photoshoot? In the gardens. If I had t’guess, they’re probably all there getting their pictures done before their hair or whatever gets messed up. Wanna go see?”

Sasuke goes pink. “...that won’t be weird?”

“Nah, we’ll just...get our pictures taken, too! It’ll be totally fine,” Naruto insists, waving a hand. “I really do wanna get pictures, though. I want this moment immortalized! Sasuke wearing LARP getup...I’m gonna show your kids.”

“Tch, whatever…”

They head up the hill to where the kept gardens of the park are grown. Sasuke’s been here a few times, but mostly when he was a lot younger. The park really isn’t his favorite haunt anymore. At least, not unless something is actually going on. While his mother used to take him and Itachi all the time in the Summer when they were kids...they’re both a little old for that now. Itachi’s in college, after all.

And, as Naruto said, there’s indeed a few photographers hanging around, snapping pictures of various roleplayers. Most of the ones up here are indeed girls. Barmaids, mages, princesses, knights...anything and everything, really.

“See? What did I tell ya? Aren’t they beautiful?” Naruto whispers, nudging Sasuke again. “Check them out!”

Grunting, Sasuke gives him a glance, not wanting to be...overtly obvious. Pretending to be watching the goings-on, he scopes out a few of them. They’re pretty, sure...but none really catch his eye too dramatically.

“Please, Hina?”

“I-I don’t know about this, Tenten…”

Glancing, Sasuke spies what looks like a weaponsmith talking to a girl in a long coat, which she clings closed with embarrassment.

“But you look awesome! It turned out so great! Shouldn’t you want everyone to see it?”

“I mean...I guess? I don’t know, it’s just...e-embarrassing…!”

“Dude, everyone here is in costume! No one’s gonna make fun of you! We’re all nerds here, right?”

“...r-right…”

“Besides, if anyone gives you trouble, I’ll knock ‘em one!” the one called Tenten assures her, drawing an oversized hammer from a belt at her hip.

Her companion smiles, gaze dropping as the current group moves out from in front of the camera.

“Next?”

“Ooh, us!” Naruto insists, tugging Sasuke forward with a yelp.

“Just you two?” a photographer clarifies.

“Uh...I guess. Unless anyone wants a group shot with us?”

“We’ll join in!”

Everyone looks over to Tenten, who hauls her friend forward by a hand. The other keeps her coat closed. “Got room for two more?”

“Yeah, sure!” Naruto quickly agrees.

“C’mon, Hina! You gotta take the coat off!”

Pink with embarrassment, the one called Hina pauses...then peels the garment aside.

Sasuke’s eyes go wide.

Donning fake elf ears, her hair is long and dark, straight as a blade to her tailbone. Pale lavender eyes match a few layers of her dress, which has several materials of various shades of purple. A delicate circlet with violet gems sits on her brow.

...wow...she looks like the real deal.

She’s beautiful…

“...oi, Sasuke. We gotta pose.”

Snapped back to the present, he blinks, realizing he’s...still in the garden. And everyone’s looking at him. Oh crap, was he staring that badly?!

“Sorry about him, he’s a little spacy sometimes,” Naruto snickers. “Thieves and their short attention spans, amirite? If it’s not shiny, he’s not paying attention!”

Scowling, Sasuke knows he’s trying to cover for him. “...better than starting all manner of brawls just to prove your chivalry, you dunce.”

“Ha! See? Such a kidder…”

...huh...this is actually...kinda fun.

The four of them pose for a few photos before they let someone else have a turn.

“So can we get copies of these?” Naruto asks one of the photographers.

“Yeah, they’ll be on our website.”

“...website?” Sasuke repeats. They’ll be online?!

“What, like anyone you know is gonna be looking at this kinda stuff, right?” the blond counters, pouting.

Likewise, Hinata goes pink. “Tenten...you didn’t say they’d be p-public…”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know!”

As their more...exuberant friends try to work out the details, Hinata and Sasuke are left to the side, glancing to each other. “...your costume is amazing,” he offers, trying to make conversation.

That gets her to perk up. “You...you think so? I made it myself!”

“What?! No way!”

“Mhm!”

“Oh...I just bought mine, I’m not...crafty or anything.”

She laughs softly into a hand. “That’s just fine. We all do this differently. I just...r-really like making clothes! Maybe I could make you something sometime, um…?”

“Oh, uh...Sasuke.”

“Hinata.”

“Okay guys, they’re gonna keep ours under a password! Apparently they do that for private shoots, and...they’re making an exception for us! So we can see them, but...no one without the magic word can.” Naruto gives two gloved thumbs-up.

“Oh, g-good,” Hinata sighs in relief.

“Yeah…”

“Now, onward! To the festivities! There’s battles to win and ale to drink!” the blond then announces, leading the charge back down to the belly of the park. Tenten follows with a cackling laugh, wielding her hammer.

“...well, I guess we’re hanging out?” Sasuke asks.

“I guess so,” Hinata laughs.

“...cool.”

                                                        .oOo. 

     ...this is really random xD I kinda wanted to do something else, buuut I don't have a dedicated verse for it (yet), so...maybe another time, lol      I've never done LARPing...I watched a few friends do it BRIEFLY, and uh...they were some of the very low budget kind xD Which is fine! But means in truth, I know very little about it, so...hopefully I didn't get anything wrong, lol!      ANYWAY, I'm FINALLY done with the ship week I was doing on Tumblr, and uh...oof, am I burnt out. I'm surprised I got this done, tbh ^^; So hopefully I'll be a bit more...prompt from now on. And a bit more wordy. Doing two daily writing things at once is uh...a bit much, lol      But anyway, that's all from me for tonight~ I'm very tired, so time to crash! Thanks for reading <3

#sasuhina #uchiha sasuke #hyūga hinata #uzumaki naruto #tenten #best years of your life [ au ] #365daysofsasuhina

[ladala99]

Spyro Reignited Countdown - Skylanders: Imaginators

And here we have the final Skylanders game. A game that was so uninteresting that it took until I started these reviews to finish it. Actually, no: I only didn’t finish it because I went to college and wasn’t going to bring my Skylanders with me.

Gameplay

It’s Skylanders gameplay. If you’ve played any of the Skylanders games, you’ll recognize it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

The M.A.P. is pretty interesting, though. After a bit, you have an overworld to run around in, and when you do, you move more quickly. This overworld connects the levels, has hidden secrets, and allows you to ambush enemies. It’s pretty neat.

Other than that, though, you’ve seen it all before.

Special Note: the Crash Bandicoot level feels like not Skylanders and I love it. It’s so platform-y, and the minigames are a blast. I feel happy getting this game only for this level in particular. So much love and attention went into it. It was also made by Vicarious Visions rather than Toys for Bob like the rest of the game, so that might make the difference.

The Gates

There actually are not any in-level elemental gates in this game. There’s special things for the Senseis to interact with, and the Battle Gongs do add to your level percentage, but there’s no exclusive collectables or anything. You really only need a Sensei, and the game comes with two.

There are Elemental Realms, though: complete exclusive levels, one for each elemental Sensei. I count these more like Adventure Packs, though - neat, but extra. I do think that this might justify the price, though?

Old Figures vs. New Figures

This game is the real reason I put this section in, because the old figures are worthless in this game.

Sure, you can use them, but the enemy difficulty is balanced around the Imaginators, not the Skylanders. The Imaginators can achieve levels well beyond the maximum Skylander level, which makes them very overpowered, especially because this game takes after the 3DS games in that you gain stats by leveling, rather than just health.

The Senseis all have a really overpowered move that isn’t quite spammable, but is usable decently often. That’s how they are still useable in this game. Old Skylanders though? Unless you’re playing on Easy, they’re going to have a rough time. And Eon help you if you use them on Nightmare Mode. It’s just not feasible.

Also, Imaginator figures cannot be natively reset. This is intentional, and really limits replay value. Also limits resale value, which is what Activision wanted I’m sure.

But... you can reset them anyway if you have either Spyro’s Adventure or I think Giants on the 3DS. 3DS specifically, not console. The game reads them as corrupted figures and offers to reset them for you. So take that, Activision.

The Collectables

Treasure Chests, Soul Gems, and Legendary Treasures make a return. Not hats, though. There are no hats in this game. Unless your Skylander is already wearing one.

Legendary Treasures this time are Legendary Selfie Frames. You can use them to display different combat styles of Senseis and Imaginators.

The other thing that isn’t counted the same way is Imaginator parts. You don’t get to just plop on your Imaginite and make whatever you want, no, you gain the parts from various sources but mostly Imaginite Chests.

Imaginite Chests are found... well... everywhere. They’re in levels, sometimes hidden. You get them as rewards for beating opponents on the M.A.P. or doing other small tasks. They respawn.

You can also get exclusive parts through each individual Sensei, Imaginite Crystal, Elemental Realm, and many are locked specifically in the Lost Imaginite Mines Adventure Pack level. There’s also some unlocked by story progress and even Nightmare Mode.

So really if you want everything, you need to buy everything. But as fun as customizing your Imaginator is, it’s not the main gameplay. I mean, they had a companion app (that they broke in the final update, probably on purpose) that allowed you to customize Imaginators to your heart’s content. That was for the purpose of getting you to buy 3D-printed figures of them, though.

And yes, Imaginte Chests feel just like lootboxes. Now I actually know what those are, so I can feel the scumminess seething off of them. The game even lets you pay for more instantly if you want! (but why would you when they’re free?)

Bosses

One in each level, I believe. Kaos can make Imagintators, too, and he makes one of each type in attempts to defeat you.

And with this, Kaos goes back to his roots by being your equal. Using Imaginators to fight, just like you do. And the final boss fight feels like the final boss fight of Spyro’s Adventure.

That’s about the only thing this game does that’s a great ending to the series. It comes full circle in your rivalry with Kaos. The game’s not actually written to be the end of Skylanders, though, so it’s more of a coincidence than anything. Superchargers also goes full circle with the Core of Light being destroyed, after all.

Levels

They’re Toys for Bob length, which is fairly short. And there’s not that many of them. They’re pretty standard in their designs, though.

Except for Thumpin’ Wumpa Islands, though, which is amazing. It’s long and fun and different.

Can’t say anything about the other Adventure Packs since I got none of them, though, and I’m not feeling particularly inspired to get them.

Story

Kaos makes friends with a brain that allows him to use his imagination to create Imaginators (and later, a level). But, with Imaginite, you, the Portal Master, can do the same.

I think he also wreaks havoc in various ways, too? I only played the very end recently, so I don’t recall what happens in earlier levels.

The brain at the end decides that since Kaos isn’t winning, he’s not cool, so he betrays him and joins your side. Also, he starts to tell a story about his past, implied to actually be told in the next game. Lol. Guess we’ll never find out his backstory.

Unique in the Series?

Not really. Yes Imagintors and their customization is a new thing, but the vehicles in Superchargers had similar, if more limited, mechanics.

It’s unique in how awful it is to play older figures, though. And the Sensei Gongs that summon a lot of enemies in a level area is new. But mechanic-wise, it doesn’t do anything too different.

It’s just more Skylanders, just this time you can create your own.

Conclusion

So the Skylanders series ends not on a bang, but a whimper. Sales got lower and lower, and I’m not even sure if all the figures came out before the game was abandoned.

Toys ‘R Us shut down. Retailers didn’t want these figures cluttering their Video Game sections. All Skylanders competitors gone. Toys To Life as a game concept died.

It was a fun half-decade. It was an expensive half-decade.

But rising from the ashes of a failing series, Spyro is allowed to return to his roots. Will it meet my expectations? In a few days, we shall see. We shall see.

#spyro #skylanders #skylanders imaginators #video game review #spyro reignited

[writingwitchly]

A Potter never accepts a defeat

Word count: 1,8k

Warning: NONE OF THAT HERE, THANK YOU

A/N: For my gem wife, @beaubcxton. Darling, this is my idea of that special date they never got to have. I hope you like it, tho it’ll never be as good as anything you write, but the angel that is @hermione-who fixed it with her magic. @reggieblck calling you too, sweetie <3.

Pairing: Jily

***

A Potter never accepts a defeat.

He had kept trying, trying, trying.

He was on the right path. 

***

The trees’ naked branches were perfectly still, the castles’ cavities as silent as the approaching Christmas holiday allowed. There was no wind, and thank Merlin, because James Potter was about to ice on spot, even inside the dormitory.

His eyes scanned the grounds, the earth muffled under the thick layer of last night’s frozen rain, and he smiled a goofy smile. He tore his gaze from the window, and swung around to get his muffles before sprinting down the wooden stairs. His hand grabbed the last newel post, almost ripping it from its place, to facilitate his change in direction as he zoomed toward the exit.

The common room was warm from the crackling fire in the chimney, the regular murmured conversations and ocasional laughs formed a pleasant buzzing. James thought that the place had never been this wonderful. But today, everything was.

“Where are you running to?”

Peter’s sarcastic question hung in the air, but it did not matter. Everybody knew the answer. 

Caught in his excitement, James didn’t notice Marlene’s sideways smile as she shouted at him to right his glasses, nor did he hear Kingsley's imprecations as they nearly collided before the Fat Lady’s portrait. He didn’t laugh at Remus’ hot chocolate mug almost ending up on the floor as he suddenly appeared in the hallway, nor did he take time to stuck his tongue out to a very flustered Filch -- “No running in the corridors, you duke of limbs!”

In less time than it would have costed Sirius to enrage Professor McGonagall, James’ boots were drowned in the outside snow, his eyes frantic behind his glasses in search of a spot of color among the whiteness. A red spot, to be precise.

“Good morning Potter.”

She was to his right, a foot behind him, grinning like a four year old who’d just won a game of hide and seek.

His heart skipped a bit.

“‘morning Evans.” His tongue was as numb as the rest of his body.

The clarity around made her cheeks look like a rose’s petals, and James sucked in a deep breath at the sight of her red lips.

Her smile widened as she stepped forward. “You almost look decent today.”

He wanted to answer. Really. Something witty maybe. But he could have opened and closed his mouth a thousand times, nothing was going to come out of it.

Merlin, she was gorgeous.

Lily gently tilted her head, amused by the boy’s lack of his usual readiness. “Are we going to stay here for long? I’m becoming an ice cube.” 

James shook his head, and premorously offered her his arm, making her laugh.

They began their stroll in silence, her looking at the sky in innocent distraction, him holding her as close as he could without being awkward. The way was empty, except for a couple of squirrels that seemed eager to follow them while rolling in the snow.

The temperature was not as low anymore, and the boy assumed it was because the sun was on its way to the roof of the sky. Or was it because of the growing heat on his face? 

If she had been there to watch the scene -- which seemed to come right out of a Peynett drawing -- Euphemia Potter would have told her husband that ‘They look very much in love.’ After an amused look from Fleamont, she would have added ‘The squirrels, of course,’ and then hid her malicious smile -- the one Sirius had taught her -- behind her handkerchief.

But the Potter parents were not here.

It was just the two of them, on a date, finally.

James and Lily.

And the squirrels, of course.

“So, Potter...” He glanced sideways at her perfect profile. Her words, when out of her mouth, turned into graceful clouds. “Justify yourself for making me skip my saturday morning visit to the library when it’s below zero outside.”

The first draught of the day sent chills running down his spine. Or maybe it was her grip, tightening delicately.

James cleared his throat.

“Reading too much isn’t good for your eyesight, you know.” She couldn’t hold back a snort, one of those she used to offer him when he widely flirted with her, but she was ready to decline. Except this time she hadn’t. “It’s true! Plus, it’s not good for your mood, breathing book dust all day long. You’d turn into a red headed Moony. We don’t want you to wear unmatching sox and become addicted to chocolate, do we?”

Her laugh was a bubbly hint of spring in this early stage of winter. James could have sworn she sounded like flowers blooming.

“So what should I become addicted to, Potter?”

The mischievous glint in the green of her eyes was something that had only very recently appeared, in the last months. 

He was going to fall back into muteness, embarrassed by what this question could mean. After all, he assumed that it was what she wanted: to have the last word.

But a Potter never accepts a defeat.

“Learned to be tricky, didn’t you?”

“Yes. From a real expert.” Hadn’t she been so close, James could have thought he’d daydreamed about her wink. “So?”

What could he do but smile?

“So you talk too much, Evans. I say you should make your feet work more and your tongue rest.” Lily raised her eyebrows, and her look followed the direction in which he was pointing. “See the bridge? Shouldn’t be more than thirty meters away. The last to get there is a-”

But she had already sprinted forward, ready as she always was to win a competition, the two squirrels trailing behind her with happy squeaking.

It took James a good fraction of second to stop gazing at the flames of her hair against the white landscape, and to move from his position. She had gained some advance, but he could make it before her easily.

A Potter never accepts a defeat.

He felt the air burn in his lungs, his muscles awakening after a week without Quidditch practice, and the adrenaline shooting him forward like one of Dumbledore’s spells. He heard her broken breathing, some meters before him, and pushed harder on the ground, his boots making the snow creak like broken shell nuts.

He was not more than three meters away from her…

Her inhaling waves were stressed.

A Potter never accepts a defeat.

Two meters…

She glanced behind her shoulder, and let out a high-pitched cry of surprise.

A Potter never accepts a defeat.

One meter…

Anybody else would have surrendered, preferring to let their heart recover a normal beat instead of winning a stupid race.

A Potter never accepts a defeat.

When they were just a few bounces away from the river, James gave one last effort.

But, right when he could have bypassed her, his legs slowed down, and a moment later she was perched on the first of the three stone stairs that started the bridge.

A Potter never accepts a defeat.

But a Potter knows to choose the right victory.

Holding her ribs, bent in two, struggling to inhale any air in between her chuckling, she was the best view James had ever had the chance to see.

“Nice run, Evans.” He was quicker than her to stabilize his breath, obviously. His hair was ruffled, he pushed his glasses up with a finger that would have been all sweaty, in another season. “Let’s see if you can do it again, shall we?”

“Shut up, Potter.” She muttered. “You talk too much.”

He bursted in a loud laughter, and stepped forward to offer her his help.

Had the squirrels not been there, maybe nothing special would have happened that morning. But the little animals found themselves right on the spot where James’ feet was set to land, and he lost his balance in an attempt to avoid them at the last moment.

He was going to fall sideways, but Lily was fast in catching his arms, pulling him near her. They found each other nose to nose, close enough to inhale the same air.

James’ heartbeat had climbed up to his ears.

“Look.” Lily whispered with a shy smirk. “I’m taller than you.”

Her eyes were magnets that attracted his.

“Only because you’re on a step, Evans.”

This was his very breathless attempt to cool his nerves down.

There was a pause. They didn’t notice the icy wind anymore.

“I’ve dreamt of this for quite some time, you know.”

“What? Being taller than me?”

“No.” She leaned forward, and James’ mouth became incredibly itchy. “This.”

Her lips were as soft at the snowflakes that were falling from the sky, sprinkling their hair with Nature’s pureness. The skin of her face brushed against his, her hands getting lost in his hair.

He had dreamt about it countless times, inflicted his wild imaginations to his friends for years, depicted the most hopeful scenarios, but nothing of what he had pictured was worthy of being compared to this moment.

Eyes closed, James kissed her back, circling her waist with his hands, tenderly pressing her body to his. A cherubs’ choir had set up a grandiose show in his mind.

On the border of the path, the two squirrels had stopped chasing each other. Their little eyes were fixed on the young couple, their muzzles shaking, as if in approval. One of them even seemed to sketch a malicious smile.

James felt Lily’s cold wrists on the back of his neck, her smile against his.

It was evident that the snow was falling, now, that they should probably head back to the castle if they didn’t want to be buried.

But before that...

“What do you think about this, Evans? Want to withdraw your affirmation?”

He was referring to the time she had told him he was probably awful at kissing.

A lost sun ray reflected in her white teeth.

“I guess you’re an ok kisser, Potter.”

“I know r- What? No. No way. I am an outstanding kisser. You were just too amazed to realize it.”

Her hum of indecision got a smile out of him.

“I’m really not sure, Potter. I think you’re just average.”

“And I’m telling you, you’re wrong.”

“Oh, really. Then what? It’s my word against yours.” Lily whispered.

She was teasing him, and it turned his inside into a big knot.

He could have shrugged, rolled his eyes.

But a Potter never accepts a defeat.

“I say have the right to a second round, to prove you wrong.”

The squirrels turned their back on the river and sped toward their tree, leaving the place entirely still. The mass of clouds above them separated, letting the sun bath this white parcel of the world, the wind sat down, waiting to see.

As James’ mouth found Lily’s again, the winter seemed to hold its breath.

#jily #hpwriters #hpwritersnet #marauderseranetwork #umfleur #james potter #Lily evans #jily fic #jily fanfic #fluff #***writing

[lady-dusk-balmung]

Sanguine Waltz (Dusk’s Daily Routine )

MUSIC

White satin gloves with thin metal and leather linings were pulled over her dangerous razor-like claws before the delicate white silks and satins were brought to drape about the perfection of her Duskwight form. Laces pulled tight against her pale skin to bring the corset that might tighter around her waist and neck. She found a kind of joy in putting on the master creations of someone so valuable. Otto Vann had spent a great deal of time garbing her in the highest fashions Ul’dah could offer, she looked a vision of the monetary life. Slipping from her seclusion, she greeted the warm coastal sun of Limsa Loma. It was not very often that Lady Dusk was seen during the day, however, as of late her interests required her to be more available. It had become something of a routine at this point. Making her way to the Drowning Wench in Limsa where she would obtain customer requests, of course, a smile and wink given to the bartendress before she headed down to the Hawker’s Alley where she would always meet a young Miqo’te female. They always walked to the Mealvaan’s Gate discussing things without a word spoken allowed. Lady Dusk kissed her on both cheeks before turning and leaving the girl there. Lady Dusk would then transverse in her own manner to Ul’dah, where she would spend the rest of her day. Today was no exception save for the fact that her thoughts were lingering on a dream.   The early rays of morning streaked across the desert gem of Ul’dah. The streets were already quite busy with the flow of people moving from shop to shop. The music rose from the ruby exchange while dancers began their swaying and twirls. Lady Dusk held a bright dreamy smile on her face as she walked through the streets, bowing her head in silent greeting to those who greeted her. Some of the faces becoming more and more familiar as the days went on. She made her way through the Golden Court, throwing in a single gil into the fountain for good luck before she would make her way to her first stop. The Alchemists' Guild. The sound of bubbling, crackling and the clink of glass against metal greeted the pale woman garbed in white as she entered through the heavy doors. She bowed her head in greeting to the woman behind the guild’s desk before she made her way down to a chalkboard that had been reserved for her. She stood there for a great deal of time looking at the theory upon the board. Words are written in a language that would appear as gibberish to most that saw it. Her gloved hand brought to her lips as she thought for a moment then shook her head. Her index finger dragged across a line that linked one solar body to another. Turning she looked over the shoulder of a female Hyur who was working away. Chemicals bubbled and slithered through winding tubes to beckers elsewhere.  The woman didn’t even look at her, as she raised three vials over her head. One red, one black and one bright blue. Dusk raised an eyebrow and then took the vials with a bow of her head. One by one, she raised the vials and examined them through the light for color and consistency. “Animal toxin with the aetherical element as discussed?” Dusk asked the woman, who promptly slammed her quill down on the table in frustration. Dusk smirked with a slight wave of her hand. “My apologies. I will see you tomorrow.” Dusk pursed her lips from letting a chuckle. With a wave of her hand, the vials seemingly disappeared and Kyt continued her morning stroll. Winding side streets brought her to the large black doors that stood as a testament to the grandeur of The Ossuary. She always smirked a little at the irony of such a place existing here. The darkness of its heart within a city that was said to be a gem. None the less she passed through the doorway, her white silhouette not exactly blending into her surroundings. A few paces within, she knelt at the great statue of Nald'thal. Her cowl brought over her colourless strands to hide her head in respect to the deity worshipped there. However, she was not there to worship. A small Lalafell garbed in dark red robes came and placed his hand upon the back of her head as if blessing her. A sleight of hand was conducted as the black vial appeared in her hand and offered it to the man in exchange for a piece of parchment no bigger than a single gil. Lady Dusk bowed her head and then stood to tower over him. “May the Darkness Embrace.” She cooed bowing once more before leaving.

MUSIC

Her mind wandered again as she continued her walk toward the Platinum Mirage. People smiled as walked by, and for the most part, she gave them a bow of the head in silent greeting. Her slow and purposeful steps glided across the stones as if she was walking to an unheard melody. A smirk on her face, hidden from time to time until she stopped at the doorway to the Arena. A miqo’te male with a kind of clipboard leaned against the cold stone, his eyes shut as if utterly bored. That was until his nose flared and the familiar scent of blood and lilies filled his nose. He scrambled to stand straight and then bowed his head, his ears wilting slightly. “Good morning, my Lady Dusk.” his words purred out in an overly showmanship way, to which of course Lady Dusk sighed and then bowed her head in greeting. It would seem that she saved this man for last every day because it was a challenge in of itself. Her normal carefree attitude shifted in a blink of an eye as if all the tension built up in her neck and she became stiff. He, on the other hand, was ecstatic to see her. His tail bushed and twisted this way and that as he spoke in the same overly flattering way. “You are as radiant as ever. You shame the rays of the sun and shine as the true gem of Ul’dah. Simply a breathtaking.” He rolled his R’s and bowed with a flourish of his hand until his tail came to curve around his forearm like the handle of a cane.   Lady Dusk pursed her lips and canted her head slightly to his words.”You are far too kind. Do you have what I requested?” Her tone that of feigned pleasantry while lacing with annoyance. It was not so much that the flattery offended her, it was that it was a show that she endured every morning for the last month. She had come to a sort of acceptance of his nature. He was a purveyor of talent within the arena. A flare for making almost anything seem divine. A silver tongue laced in honey fed words. “You wound me, madame!” He feigned a pout and stood tale with his chin raised to look up to her. His voice began to rise in the announcer fashion of a ring leader.  “How could I deny the Lady of the Dusk what pleases her?” He twirled about and flared his jacket’s lapels as he mocked a sort of waltz about her. “I am many things my Lady, but a man without his word?” He shot her a look and then jumped onto a nearby barrel. Lady Dusk hid her head and the rolling of her eyes. “ Tragedy befalls my beating vessel that plays to the whims of this soothsayer..” He gestured with his raised palm to her as he spoke out to the city streets. Some people stopped in their steps to look at the pair while others ignored his usual boisterous display. “She denies me the sweet justice of taking my heart to her lips. I will waste away never knowing the love that would be of the fruit of the gods… “ He fell to his knees and then leapt off the barrel and bowed to her producing a rolled scroll held tightly in his tail, raised to for her to take it. “.. all because she did not put her faith in the right man.” His words became more hushed at last and he winked at her.   If Lady Dusk could blush or redden in the face due to anger, she would have at that moment, however, her pale skin did well to hide it. Her nose flared at the display as she did not move, but rather allowed her eyes to follow him. Her ears flicking to the sound of his voice. Her silver hues darkened the more he continued, her nose flared, her gloved hands brought to cup one another to keep herself from lashing out at him. She had dealt with men who enjoyed spectacles, even a rather devious creature who enjoyed the game of. This man, however, took it to a whole new level. Instead of being simply offended by her question, he had decided to make a rather flamboyant example of her. When he finally came to bow before her and raised up the scroll in which she was referring, licked her lips and slowly slid it from his tail. “I will be sure to not misplace my faith in the future.” Her silken words sung from her lips as her gloved fingers traced the texture of the scroll. “Of that I am sure my Lady Dusk.” He smirked and stood tall again. “Though one would be more persuaded to render the infraction as a distant memory if the Lady would reward this lowly man with a kiss?” His head turned and he offered her his cheek while dragging his claw against his fur.  He looked to her face that held not a hint of amusement. “No? Well, you can not blame me for trying. I will not admit defeat, however.” He bowed his head and held out his palm. “Yes.. I can.” She retorted and slipped the man the bright blue vile and tapped the glass. “I am sure you will see that he gets this.” She bowed her head and waved the scroll at him as she turned to leave. “And there she goes ladies and gentleman…..  the starlight to my night. I will never stop trying my Lady Dusk!” He called out after her. She looked over her shoulder at him and gave a slight shake of her head. He pursed his lips and bowed in full fashion from the waist, returning his tail to rest over his arm.

So it went that her day was very much the same as the day before. Perhaps with more theatrics than she had anticipated. It was for this reason that the Mirage was always the last stop before she made her way to the Sands and her usual table. A needed respite from dealing not only with him but the many intricacies of her network that she didn’t trust anyone else. She did it in plain sight with little regard if she was being followed or not. Each gear worked independently of one another and she knew all too well that it would be beyond the intelligence of most. Taking her seat at her usual table centred in the middle of the Sands, Lady Dusk unrolled the parchment she had received. A list of names and entries, their skill sets, choice of materia and the master of their employ if there was one. She was looking for something rather specific but tilted her head at a strange array of materia listed. Her gaze narrowed for a moment and then shook her head as if to dismiss the idiocy of someone who was clearly going to die within the arena for their choice. “Limbo… dancing..  Yes.. well we won’t be wasting time or resources on you.” She smirked and then reached in her dress to pull out the red vial.. it was gone. Her eyes widened as she felt over her corset, the folds of her dress and was about to stand when a cup of tea the color of blood was placed before her. The timber of the voice that followed was familiar but not easily placed. The way he spoke held a tone that was full of a deeper knowing. One that would have unsettled most, but it did not hold malice, more a curiosity. “Lady Dusk.. I do hope you forgive me for taking the opportunity to serve you, your Sanguine Tea.” She didn’t look up right away. Instead, she looked at the fingers that held the fine filigreed cup with the utmost care. Leather gloves with the fingers cut out to allow freedom and dexterity, the hem of a dress coat that did not fit with the gloves in which he wore. Slowly she looked up and saw the emerald mismatched hues. It was clear at that moment that he was a hyur. One she didn’t know, but his voice was still all too familiar. It was also clear that he had been following her closely enough to take the vial from her. Which of course meant he knew how to get it. This alone was alarming enough for her to bow her head but not say anything. She didn’t need to say anything as he dragged a chair to sit awkwardly too close, and spoke again. “We have a great deal to discuss.. you and I.” @nigheandorcha

#dusk rp #ic things

[captaindboss]

captaindboss’ Hottest NHL Players Survey Responses

I’m demonkonecny bc it’s halloween!!! Happy Halloween!!! Anyway I’m finally posting the results of my hottest players per team survey, (it’s closed now so u can’t take it anymore, sorry) which included ur fav ugly hots like jack eichel and connor mcdavid. Y’all had some colorful write-in responses for me, I included my favorites! Anyway, as not to clog dashes I put it under a read more. If you have questions about how I compiled this data or how I organized it, feel free to ask! Also some of y’all didn’t put an answer for like half the teams???? who raised you.

Montreal Canadians

Carey Price (55.02%--126 of 229 votes)

Jonathan Drouin (23.58%--54 of 229 votes)

Shea Weber (13.10%--30 of 229 votes)

Other* (8.30%--19 of 229 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“PK Subban...oh wait...Lars Eller... Oh wait...Drouin...oh wait...Alex Galchenyuk...oh wait shit fine Shea Weber”

“Everyone who has escaped”

“their ‘attitude problem’“

Boston Bruins

Brandon Carlo (30.26%--69(lol) of 228 votes)

Patrice Bergeron (Cause y’all would kill me if I didn’t put him) (29.82%--68 of 228 votes)

David Pastrnak (yum i lov carb) (25.88%--59 of 228 votes)

Other* (14.04%--32 of 228 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

[About Carlo] “He’s  a baby but also like has an ageless vampire quality which appeals to my ovaries, long conditioned by teen vampire novels”

“Brad Marchand's tongue (only the tongue)” [this ain’t it chief]

“I love my alien father tuukka rask” [r u ok]

Bonus, cause I’m weak:

“no one THINKS pasta is hot COME ON i hate us” [it’s okay, he is VERY hot, that’s why I put him lmao]

“Zdeno chara babey” [R U OK]

Bl*ckh*wks

Girl as if (44.80%--99 of 221 votes) 

Jonathan Toews (22.62%--50 of 221 votes)

If you put pk*ne here i’ll come to your house and murder you*^/other (17.65%--39 of 221 votes)

hahahahaHAHAHA (14.93%--33 of 221 votes)

*= tie between Nick Schmaltz and John Hayden.

^= 3 people want me to come to their houses and murder them, unfortunately it’s still illegal to do so, therefore I will not be doing that.

Write-ins

“toews player portrait makes him look like a human condom”

“i live in chicago and am willing to take 1 for the team and take out k*ne” 

“Bitch you funny but also Alex Debrincat”

New York Rangers

Brady Skjei (46.32%--107 of 231 votes)

Henrik Lundqvist duh (31.17%--72 of 231 votes)

Brett Howden is the right answer despite not being on the roster yet^ (11.69% (lol)--27 of 231 votes)

Other* (10.82%--25 of 231 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

^= funny enough, like 2 days after I made this Brett made the final cut lmao.

Write-ins

“Chris Kreider (have you seen the golf pic???) [LMFAO yeah I have (it’s probably too NSFW if ur in public fyi if u wanna google it)]

“i'm horny for like half the gd rangers roster!!!!” [lol girl I know, y’all actually have a few cuties I was a lil shocked]

“this is a hot team too bad they suck”

Toronto Maple Leafs

Y’all are demons okay Nikita Zaitsev is a fuckin gem idk why I was surprised about this but I was lmao.

Other* (39.37%--87 of 221 votes) [just know that I hate u all :/]

William Nylander (25.79%--57 of 221 votes)

Nazem Kadri (24.89%--55 of 221 votes)

Nikita Zaitsev (9.95%--22 of 221 votes)

*= Freddie Andersen. 

Write-ins

“william nylander isn't a leaf, firstable, and second it's motch murner” [sjdhkdlsjdj everything about this]

“i'm putting rich clune even tho he's on the marlies. SOMETIMES HE COMES UP. he could benchpress ever leaf on the roster.” [ur valid, when u sent this I was like “FUCK they’re right.”]

“None they look like 25 year olds who smoke crack in the parking lot” [this is low-key mean but I still laughed, cause yeah, white dudes. But I’m not condoning drug abuse or jokes about drug abuse, as this person had no intention of doing, I’m sure. Just wanted to put that because I know some people might be concerned.]

Bonus, again, weak:

"Jxhn Txvxrxs” [jhkhfoij why did u censor his name sis??]

“nobody’s attractive on the leafs” [this isn’t true but I’m petty and it’s funny.]

Detroit Red Wings

I was so fucking offended by some of the dylan larkin SLANDER up in these write-ins, y’all can come to my house and fight me thx.

Dylan Larkin (48.23%--109 of 226 votes)

Henrik Zetterberg (im crying) (31.42%--71(CRYING) of 226 votes)

Other* (11.95%--27 of 226 votes)

Andreas Athanasiou (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)

*= 12 votes for “No one/Not Dylan Larkin” (yall r annoying lmfao), 10 votes for Filip Zadina (he’s a CHILD how dare u)

Write-Ins

“Luke glen denting is hot look at his arms and he’s not too old for ME” [girl when I tell u this shit killed me, I mean I SQUAWKED a laugh out and sent it to the fps gc, I was DEAD] 

“I don't know what any of the red wings look like and it's probably better that way” [????????????????]

“ion know anyone on the wings except zadina and he scored a gwg against the bruins yesterday so my answer for this one is none 😤😤” [(this was in reference to a pre-season game) lmao sis yall are okay. it was yalls babies against our roster players, I would have offed myself had the outcome been any different lmao]

Bonus

“Does anyone actually play for the red wings” [no]

“filip "thot" zadina” [don’t....]

Los Angeles Kings

The only right answer is Alec Martinez (41.56%--96 of 231 votes)

Adrian Kempe (38.10%--88 of 231 votes)

Anze Kopitar (12.12%--28 of 231 votes)

Other* (8.23%--19 of 231 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“jeff carter would snort a line of coke with gritty” [uhhhhh WHAT]

“uhh wayne gretzky...” [jvfluhddsf sis...]

“I couldn't name anyone on this team if you PAID ME” [fjldfdhfh god I wish that were me, sorry annie u know I joke....]

Philadelphia Flyers

Claude Giroux (44.78%--103 of 230 votes)

Travis Konecny (HAHAHAHAHA that’s my ugly hot gremlin) (24.78%--57 of 230 votes

Other* (22.17%--51 of 230 votes

Wayne Simmonds (8.26%--19 of 230 votes)

*= Nolan Patrick is apparently who y’all think is the 3rd hottest flyer, even tho he Looks Like That rn lmao. fuckin’ lettuce head.

Write-ins

“Gritty's googly eyes are the windows to the soul”

“andrea helfrich” [ur right]

“tk, because country boy i LOVE you 😛”

Bonus

“hey don't make threats abt gritty like that” [I put “if you put gritty i’ll block you”]

“My hellspawn son [Gritty,] is beautiful can’t believe Voracek and G had a son tho” [HDKUHEDKJFHD BITCH]

Pittsburgh Penguins :(

Kris Letang (55.17%--128 of 232 votes)

Other* (19.40%--45 of 232 votes)

Not Sidney Crosby [this is the option for Sidney Crosby] (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)

Tristan Jarry (8.62%--20 of 232 votes

*= different variations of “none” won but only by one vote, the person right behind was Jamie Oleksiak.

Write-ins

“the penguins roster came into my home and killed my entire family, but jamie oleksiak is 6'7" 255 lbs of A Man” [NDKFHSJRFDRBSKRFH valid]

“no penguin has ever been hot. As soon as they put on the jersey the hotness evaporates. Tragic.” [wow look at all that truth right there]

“as a heterosexual i chose letang, and as a flyers fan i choose the penguin mascot” [lmao girl letang is not the answer either]

St. Louis Blues

Colton Parayko (67.11%--151 of 225 votes)

Alex Pietrangelo (17.33%--39 of 225 votes)

Other* (8%--18 of 225 votes)

Ryan O’Reilly (7.56%--17 of 225 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“this [’other’] box shouldn’t exist there are no valid arguments against the angel colton parayko” [tru, but the blues have other hotties so I made the box to be fair to those of us who don’t like Big Blonde Sexies]

“uh valid i guess? idk any of the blues lmao” [LMAOOO I think they meant Vladdy, but “valid” cracked me up]

“ROR can lay me down” [ur so valid lmao]

Buffalo Sabres

Jeff Skinner (60.18%--136 of 226 votes)

Rasmus Ristolainen (17.26%--39 of 226 votes)

Other* (14.16%--32 of 226 votes)

Jack Eichel (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)

*= Inconclusive results. [Y’all big mad that I put Skinner on here. HE’S HOT!]

Write-ins

“Idk but not these lmao” [*instert that gif of the kardashians like “DON’T BE FUCKING RUDE”*]

“Why is Jeff Skinner an option he looks 12″ [who else tho sis. I looked at the roster!]

“If anyone says eichel i will come to their house and steal their toothbrushes. Its conor sheary.” [I took my own survey and picked Eichs but I still have my toothbrush so I guess......... I’m right.]

Bonus:

“Rasmus Ristolainen kinda looks like a creepy half-alive Ken doll, but I'll stand by my choice. Hire an exorcist.” [JDFKHRFWEH GIRL]

“They lost their only cute player when O’Reilly got traded sorry” [boom. roasted]

Vancouver Canucks

Brock Boeser (67.56%--152 of 225 votes)

Other* (13.78%--31 of 225 votes)

Jake Virtanen (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)

Ben Hutton (6.22%--14 of 225 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“[about Jake Virtanen] all that ass...........” [sjdkfhdkfhdkhfi yeah]

“the city of vancouver” [?????????????????????]

“I keep forgetting that the canucks actually exist” [I’m reasonably sure this is annie lmfao]

Bonus

“I don’t know how any of this team looks either” [idk if I follow Nucks blogs or what but how do u not know Boeser???]

“i don't care enough about this team to even attempt to answer” [this is my brain @ me on the last 5 questions of an exam]

New York Islanders

Mat Barzal (67.69%--155 of 229 votes)

Tito Beauvillier (14.85%--34 of 229 votes)

Jordan Eberle (10.48%--24 of 229 votes)

Other* (6.99%--16 of 229 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“you say put full names but then u go and say tito??” [LISTEN I was tired at this point and forgot that I was trying to be at least a little bit professional about my thirst survey alright? yeesh]

“Its Matt Martin my dude” [LMAO u funny]

“idk how anyone pays attention to mat when tito is always there looking better barzal looks like every attractive jock ive ever met and i dont trust that”

Calgary Flames

Noah Hanifin (37.95%--85 of 224 votes)

Elias Lindholm (32.59%--73 of 224 votes)

Matthew Tkachuk (20.54%--46 of 224 votes)

Other* (8.93%--20 of 224 votes)

*= Sean Monahan wins 4th hottest.

Write-ins

“[Hanifin] looks like the bad guy in a teen movie. the guy the Main Girl is dating in the beginning but is a real dick to her. you look at him and you KNOW he has a trust fund and votes republican. god he's so hot though” [hanny......... yeah.... yeah....]

“Why do I find Tkachuk attractive? I don't know but I love him” [me too]

“James 'The Real Deal' Neal” [lol I got this answer multiple times]

Washington Capitals

Tom Wilson (31.33%--73 of 233 votes)

Andre Burakovsky (29.18--68 of 233 votes)

Braden Holtby (24.03%--56 of 233 votes)

Other* (15.45%--36 of 233 votes)

*= Michal Kempny and Nicklas Backstrom tied for fourth hottest.

Write-ins

“literally no one, i s2g if i see anyone say ovi is attractive..... jfc god help them” [.... but ovi is dad-hot, also he got 3 votes]

“YOUR STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS! Everyone btw just a hot team of hot ugly men and Tom Wilson” [kskdjskdjksks]

“my sweaty swedish sweetheart; Nicklas Backstrom” [I’m too illiterate to read this right the first time thru lol]

Colorado Avalanche

Gabe Landeskog ( 55.95%--127 of 227 votes)

Other* (22.47%--51 of 227 votes)

Erik “Horsegirl” Johnson (14.1%--32 of 227 votes)

Mikko Rantanen (7.49%--17 of 227 votes)

*= Tyson Barrie won by more than double of all the other write-ins, but honorable mentions go to Nate MacK, Colin Wilson, Tyson Jost, Phillip Grubauer, and The Avs Tumblr People.

Write-ins - I (jokingly) got called bitch so much in these write-ins, y’all feel some type of WAY about this team lmfao.

“but also the tysons. i would buy a whole farm just so those boys could plow me into the ground.” [i’m SCREECHING. this killed me lol]

“only attractive b/c of his proximity to horses? maybe so.” [.... girl what]

Okay, so instead of a third quote, cause I couldn’t pick, I’m gonna put all the other funny EJ comments I was contemplating:

“ej is soooo ugly in the hottest way possible”

“erik "big horny" johnson”

“oh my god Ej was included for once I'm weeping tears of joy”

“What that mouth do EJ?”

New Jersey Devils

Miles Wood (36.12%--82 of 227 votes)

Taylor Hall (33.48%--76 of 227 votes)

Brian Boyle (19.82%--45 of 227 votes)

Other* (10.57%--24 of 227 votes)

*= Nico Hischier with the majority of the write-ins, even tho he’s still a CHILD (under 20).

Write-ins, aka Mostly Taylor Hall Commentary.

“Does Michael McLeod count” [YES girl i love that boy]

“Gucciiiiiii”

“DSL GUCCI”

“Nico Hischier (Taylor Hall I still love you)”

“i chose taylor and i don’t even need a gucci purse”

“If Taylor Hall gave me a Gucci purse I'd vote for him”

“catch me w/ a gucci purse, girl!!!! for real tho miles wood”

Dallas Stars

DISCLAIMER: I mean no disrespect to Katie, she’s fab and I made this survey a month or so ago. If you don’t know what I mean by this--do not ask me, I will delete the message. Thank you!

Tyler Seguin (46.96%--108 of 230 votes)

Katie Hoaldridge (im gay) (35.22%--81 of 230 votes)

Other* (13.91%--32 of 230 votes)

Stephen Johns (3.91%--9 of 230 votes)

*= Jamie Benn.

Write-ins

“tyler seguin has no upper lip” [I screamed, not exaggerating]

“You have to choose [Seguin] but I do so under duress”

“Im gay too” [hell yeah, this is a mlm and wlw friendly survey!]

Edmonton Oilers

Jujhar Khaira (28.57%--64 of 224 votes)

Other* (27.68%--62 of 224 votes)

Contract McMoney (he is hot) (25.89%--58 of 224 votes)

Darnell Nurse (17.86%--40 of 224 votes)

*= Leon Draisaitl won by more than 5 times anyone elses write-in lmao.

Write-ins ft. “The Draisaitl Quotes”

“McMoney’s money- just his money” [lmao ok sammie, HE’S HOT!]

“cannot mcwingames went off in the gq shoot i admit” [*annie voice* OHMYGOD]

“He’s [Khaira] like a romance novel cover like, f me” [tru]

Drai Quotes

“Drai but like lucic cause Momma needs a man that could kill me” [HDGFDHDGFHDH]

“leon dreisetl (is that his name, is this how you spell it?)”

“Leon Draisaitl and his contract that he doesn't deserve” [backhanded compliment lmao]

“the one w the longass name. dry saitl or whatever” [girl. lmfao]

Winnipeg Jets

Jets/laine fans are funny so I’m adding all the funniest ones instead of just 3 or 5. Sorryyyyyy I’m here to entertain.

Blake Wheeler (44.04%--96 of 218 votes)

Mathieu Perreault (but specifically in his newest headshot) (21.56%--47 of 218 votes)

Other* (19.27%--42 of 218 votes)

Connor Hellebuyck (15.14%--33 of 218 votes)

*= Patrik Laine, even tho I said NOT TO, demons.

Write-ins

“Their logo so I can fly away from this stupid team”

“Nobody but I just needed to point out Connor Hellebuyck looks like a stage magician and that is Not Hot” [i respectfully disagree with the last bit but the first parts made me snort]

“I don't know who windy pegg is”

“Boeing 747″ [sjdjsljlshgdu]

“they’re all second to jacob trouba’s dog Donnie”

“Patty Laine, but like, without the demon beard”

“Let me live my life! Laine has a good voice and i have a LANGUAGE KINK!”

“Laine WITH the beard because I don't fear death”

“Sorry, Laine but only with his beard” [I love the halfhearted apology]

“Goatboi”

“ALL HAIL THE GOAT DEVIL”

“laine come at me bitch lol” [denny’s parking lot. 3 am. be there.]

“laine looks like a goat”

“Laine’s Beard”

“LAINE I like the beard but hockey Satan is good to hellebuyck” [I really felt like I was tripping balls while reading all these but, ESPECIALLY this one lmfao]

Arizona Coyotes

Oliver Ekman-Larsson (30.32%--67 of 221 votes)

Jakob Chychrun (28.05%--62 of 221 votes)

Dylan Strome (26.24%--58 of 221 votes)

Other* (15.38%--34 of 221 votes)

*= Alex Galchenyuk, with the majority of the votes.

Write-ins

“pls date me Chych” [annie, that’s my BF!]

“ 🐼 there is no raccoon emoji >:(”

“[Chychrun] [a]lso has a vampire quality but like trust fund baby vampire who has no morals. I’m...into it??” 

Honorable mentions: The 2 people who put Biz lmaoooo I love yall.

Carolina Hurricanes

Andrei Svechnikov [he’s a baby but I didn’t know who elseeee] (38.29%--85 of 222 votes)

Haydn Fleury (35.59%--79 of 222 votes)

Other* (15.77%--35 of 222 votes)

Dougie Hamilton (10.36%--23 of 222 votes)

*= Sebastian Aho wins the write-in vote [he ain’t it!]

Write-ins

“Justin Faulk (I’m old so svechnikov is out)” [ugh ur right I didn’t make this more inclusive to people not my age, i’m (genuinely) sorry!!!]

“Formerly Eric ‘the hottest Staal' Staal” [only on the cane’s write-in would I have this happen...]

“[Jordan] staal terrifies me but that's hot” [true!]

San Jose Sharks

Erik Karlsson (70.04%--159 of 227 votes)

Martin Jones (17.62%-- 40 of 227 votes)

Other* (11.01%--25 of 227 votes)

Justin Braun (idk) (1.32%--3 of 227 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“Daddy shark (doo doo doo)” [just so yall know this is, of course, annie, as in anzekopistar, an actual demon, she’s talking about Erik Karlsson :)]

“Brent Burns, you know im right” [are you tho?]

“Okay sometimes I have needs I think Joe Thorton sans beard could fill” [this is why joe shaved. he felt this person in the universe wanting him to, so he did, wow thank u joe]

Ottawa Senators (lol)

Matt Duchene (33.63%--75 of 223 votes)

The entire team (cause they’re a dumpster fire) (30.94%-- 69 [it’s that tkachuk fuckboi energy] of 223 votes)

Other (there are none)* (22.87%--51 of 223 votes)

Spartacat (12.56%--28 of 223 votes)

*= Inconclusive results (because a lot of you took my “there are none” joke a little too seriously and just chose that, no write-in lmao)

Write-ins

“[about Duchene] he's traitorous but it's like that sometimes i guess” [sjdhdjfhkdhf girl it’s okay.]

“.... we're a team“ [i-]

“the senator on their jerseys is p cute ig”

Bonus:

“oh so spartacat is an option but not gritty huh” [LISTEN the flyers are a HOT team, the sens are NOT. that’s why lmao]

“Just based on headshots I’m going with Ben Sexton like also how do you go wrong with that name”

Tampa Bay Lightning

Brayden Point (55.25%--121 of 219 votes)

Other* (22.83%--50 of 219 votes)

Mitchell Stephens (11.87%--26 of 219 votes)

Steve Yzerman (10.05%--22 of 219 votes)

*= Inconclusive results. Although there were a lot of responses none of them added up significantly sooo....

 Write-ins

“am i the only one who thinks stevie y was a bit of a twink when he was younger?” [jdhslihdalskdjefh]

“Worst team in the league i hate them and theyre all hideous” [u sure bout that, bud?]

“Stamkos (I love his tiny eyes)” [????]

Florida Panthers

 Aaron Ekblad (71.75%--160 of 223 votes)

Aleksander Barkov [r yall ok???] (11.66%--26 of 223 votes)

Other* (10.31%--23 of 223 votes)

Vincent Trocheck (6.28%--14 of 223 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“who are the panthers” [sometimes a team is a dog captain, a(n extremely hot) 27-year-old lawyer, and not owen tippett because the panthers hate me specifically]

“Roberto Luongo during Parkland speech” [... valid]

“barkov is literally the only player i know on this team” [shey would be happy to teach u about the panthers!]

Anaheim Ducks

Adam Henrique (52.47%--117 of 223 votes)

No one else (29.6%--66 of 223 votes)

Other* (10.76%--24 of 223 votes)

John Gibson (7.17%--16 of 223 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins-Ducks fans don’t @ me but i’m pretty sure half of these were submitted by y’all anyways....

“if i look @ anyone on the ducks roster for more than 5 seconds i BLACK OUT” [KSHDGJDHSKH Adam tho....]

“Quack Quack go lay your eggs somewhere else you feathered FUCKS” [sjdjfhdjsksj]

“legal 2 say kesler?” [no. go to jail]

Bonus

“Henrique is fine I have no qualms about your selections” [thnk u]

“jared coreau!!! GOOGLE HIM i’m right” [I said this, and we’ve talked, but I need people to know that I, after seeing this, subsequently found out that the Wings didn’t sign coreau back this offszn lmao] 

Nashville Predators

Roman Josi (39.39%--91 of 231 votes)

PK Subban (37.66%--87 of 231 votes)

Kevin Fiala (13.42%--31 of 231 votes)

Other* (9.52%--22 of 231 votes)

*= Pekka Rinne for 4th hottest. [My mom loves him for his name lol. she says it’s “fun”]

Write-ins 

“pk wears cool hats. I like that in a man”

“I don't find any of them hot (Josi used too be hot and then I learned he was illiterate and now I feel nothing but pity towards him)” [GIRL]

“preds are also ugly. pk subban would be attractive if he werent a pred” [lmao. what’d they do to u ?]

Columbus Blue Jackets

Pierre-Luc Dubois (50.22%--113 of 225 votes)

Zach Werenski (20.44%--46 of 225 votes)

Josh Anderson (16.89%--38 of 225 votes)

Other* (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)

*= Alex Wennberg is 4th hottest [lmao]

Write-ins

“Can I put werenskie and Anthony Duclair” [valid]

“Just to be clear CBJ is by far the hottest team exemplified by the fact that you left Seth Jones and Alexander Wenneberg off this list when they're like top 20 in hotness. Also Nick Foligino wins if we include looks and personality.” [I didn’t include them cause this is a mix of hot and ugly hot fam, the avs are 100% the hottest team in the NHL, and that’s coming from me, a Wings fan, destined to hate the Avs for my entire life. Also???? The hotter Foligno is def Marcus lmao]

“[About Werenski] only with the scar though otherwise seth jones” [GIRL scars don’t disappear??? WDYM only with the scar??? Are you a time traveler??? lmfaooo]

Minnesota Wild

J.T. Brown (46.46%--105 of 226 votes)

Other* (21.68%--49 of 226 votes)

Eric Staal (20.80%--47 of 226 votes)

Jason Zucker (11.06%--25 of 226 votes)

*= Charlie Coyle. Honorable mentions to Zach Parise and Matt Dumba.

Write-ins

“Charlie Coyle man! V hot, could kill you, gently waves at babies, 10/10″ [exactly my type! wow]

“ Not JT[,] Lexi is the hottest[,] Eric Staal from a few years ago is also hot” [I added commas to your thing cause.... girl it took me a sec to understand what u were tryna say. But also ur right it’s Lexi.]

“love a #wokebae jt” [yaaas]

FINALLY this legit took me like 10+ hours of work cause I had to transcribe all the info cohesively and then go thru all the responses lmao.

Vegas Golden Knights

William Karlsson (40.52%--94 of 232 votes)

Marc-Andre Fleury (30.60%--71 of 232 votes)

Max Pacioretty (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)

Other* (12.07%--28 of 232 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“[Karlsson] because he looks like young Bill from Mamma Mia” [shfhdjdhf girl]

“fleury isn't hot you absolute monster” [???????? drink ur bitterness tea somewhere else pls]

“let's find out just how wild this boy is” [pftd dtduftdhjfgdjfghdjf]

Bonus/Honorable mentions:

The TWO people who put “colin miller’s eyelashes” lmfaoooo

Alrighty this is The End! If you’d like to see another survey by me let me know in my messages/ask!!! Also sorry for stealing de la Rose from u, habs fans

#pkane tw #arizona coyotes #anaheim ducks #buffalo sabres #boston bruins #calgary flames #detroit red wings #philadelphia flyers #dallas stars #toronto maple leafs #pittsburgh penguins #new york rangers #new york islanders #carolina hurricanes #washington capitals #colorado avalanche #edmonton oilers #winnipeg jets

[ciathyzareposts]

Game 324: The Keys of Acheron (1981)

As an expansion of Hellfire Warrior, the game has no main title screen.

           The Keys of Acheron

United States

Automated Simulations, Inc. (developer and publisher)

Released in 1981 for Apple II and TRS-80, 1982 for Atari 800

Date Started: 5 April 2019

Date Ended: 5 April 2019

Total Hours: 5

Difficulty: Easy-Medium (2.5/5), but heavily adjustable by player

Final Rating: (to come later)

Ranking at Time of Posting: (to come later)

Every once in a while, it’s a good idea to remember that the Dunjonquest series existed. Its first edition, The Temple of Apshai, released in 1979, gets my vote for the first true commercial RPG. Sure, Beneath Apple Manor, Dungeon Campaign, and Space technically preceded it in 1978, but none of them are what we would consider fully-featured RPGs. Temple of Apshai and is paragraph book, full of evocative descriptions of rooms and treasures, was the first earnest attempt to bring the essence of a tabletop RPG module to the computer. Co-creators Jeffrey A. Johnson and Jon Freeman should be names that we invoke as frequently as Richard Garriott or Brian Fargo.           

A typical Acheron screen has me fighting a fungusman in a twisty cavern. A treasure can be seen beyond him.

           The Temple of Apshai was a huge success, ported to nearly every platform that existed at the time, and it naturally generated a slew of sequels. Oddly, Epyx released several different sets of sequels for the original game. The first set began with Hellfire Warrior (1980; link to my review), which added Levels 5-8 to Temple’s Level 1-3. This series continued with The Keys of Acheron (1981) and Danger in Drindisti (1982). At the same time, Temple continued onto a different set of dungeon levels with Upper Reaches of Apshai (1981) and Curse of Ra (1982). In between these titles, Epyx published a few “microquests” using the Dunjonquest engine but with a fixed character: Morloc’s Tower (1979), The Datestones of Ryn (1979), and Sorcerer of Siva (1981). The engine also spun off two horrid action games with no RPG elements: StarQuest: Rescue at Rigel (1980) and Star Warrior (1980). The whole series wrapped up with the terrible Gateway to Apshai (1983), which couldn’t even spell its own name right on the title screen. Dunjonquest also inspired a series of simplified diskmag and shareware titles, including Quest 1 (1981), Super Quest (1983), Dungeons, Dragons, and Other Perils (1984), and Cavequest (1985).

I bypassed Acheron in 2014, claiming that I couldn’t find it, but I must not have tried very hard because the Azimov archive says that it’s been uploaded there for at least a decade. (And thanks to commenters J.D. and metallik for helping me get it running.) I probably just thought of it as an expansion to Hellfire Warrior, which I’d already covered. But I figure it’s worth taking a second look now, partly to remember the Dunjonquest series, but mostly because it was the first CRPG scenario designed by Paul Reiche III, co-founder of Toys for Bob, and co-creator of, yes, Star Control and Star Control II.

This was Reiche’s first computer game credit after a couple of years designing tabletop Dungeons & Dragons modules for TSR, and his experience can be seen in the quality of the backstory and in-game descriptions. The setup is that the character has been asked by the wizard Abosandrus to recover four magical gems–emerald, amethyst, ruby, and sapphire–from the dungeon. The gems, known as the “Keys of Acheron,” have the power to open or close rifts between worlds, and Abosandrus wants to use them to prevent the immortal demon lord Kronus from invading. The dungeon takes up four levels, labeled “Abode of the Dragon,” “The Temple in the Jungle,” “The Crystal Caves,” and “The Shadowland of Kronus.” The game does the same weird thing that Hellfire Warrior did where the first and third levels have room numbers (and associated descriptions in the book) but the second and fourth don’t.             

Kronus himself appears randomly throughout the game’s levels and cannot be killed.

          The game is a bit tricky to get going because it requires the original Hellfire Warrior disk for booting, character creation, and shopping. The Acheron manual tells you bluntly that you’ll screw everything up if you don’t follow its instructions to the letter, and for a while I couldn’t find the instructions. Fortunately, as usual, a helpful commenter came through.            

My character at the beginning of this session. I created him as a veteran of Hellfire Warrior.

           Character creation thus precedes exactly as Hellfire Warrior, where you can randomly roll a Level 1 amateur or manually enter your own statistics and create an indomitable titan right away. After you buy your melee weapon, armor, bow, and arrows, you can choose to spend excess money on various draughts and elixirs. These modify your statistics and abilities for the next dungeon session only. You can also stop by Malaclypse the Mage and get your weapon or armor enchanted (up to +9) and buy a few magic items that only last the duration of the adventure.            

Available magic items.

         In one last screen before you enter, you can donate money to Benedic the Cleric’s mission, which seems to increase the chance that Benedic is the one that finds and resurrects you when you die. Otherwise, you may be found by Lowenthal the Wizard, who takes all magic items that you own before returning you to the town for resurrection; or Olias the Dwarf, who takes all your items; or a random monster, who just eats you.        

I confess I reloaded save states in such circumstances.

        Once inside the dungeon, the game behaves just like the earlier incarnations. You use “R,” “L,” and “V” to turn and rotate the character and then type a number from 1 to 9 indicating how many steps to move in your facing direction. “S” searches for traps, “E” searches for secret doors (you have to be pretty close to the door), and “O” opens them.               

Finding a secret door.

           When monsters appear, you can try to shoot them at a distance with a regular arrow (“F”) or a magic arrow (“M”), or wait until they get close and use “A,” “T,” and “P” for attack, thrust, and parry. When the monsters get your hit points down, you can heal with a salve (“H”), nectar (“N”), or elixir (“Y”) if you’ve purchased them. If the room has a treasure, you grab it with “G.” The controls are all quite intuitive except for movement, which never stops being clunky.           

Melee combat with a grifffin. There are, alas, no spells in the game.

           You have to be careful about stamina. The game tracks encumbrance (including weapons, armor, and found treasures), and the faster you move with more weight, the faster your stamina depletes. Standing still causes it to (slowly) recharge, and you don’t want to be caught in combat in such situations. I had fewer problems with it here than in the original Hellfire Warrior.

The rooms and corridors are all uniformly dull–the top-down equivalent of Wizardry‘s wireframes from the same year. (There are mild icon animations but nothing to get excited about.) This is where the Dunjonquest series is greatly enhanced by the monster, trap, room, and treasure descriptions in the accompanying manual. On the screen, you may enter Room 16, but with the manual, you know you’ve entered a cave where:           

The air is intolerably hot. To the west you can see roaring flames. As you make your way through the passage, you stumble over something. Looking down, you see the fragments of a huge egg. It would seem that the Dragon has borne young ones.

            If you meet one of the baby dragons, you consult the manual to see that:           

Although this creature resembles its parent closely in its scaled, wormlike form, it is fortunately much smaller, typically 6-8 feet in length. Even though the immature beast cannot breathe flame (and luckily so!), it will attack anything it meets with ferocity.

             You defeat him and head down the corridor, only to accidentally stumble in a dragonfire trap! The manual has you covered there, too:           

With a titanic roar, the corridor fills with the burning flame of the Dragon’s breath. You should have been quieter, more careful. Now it knows you are here.

            But eventually you defeat your foes and pick up the treasure in the room. The screen tells you that you’ve acquired Treasure #8:           

A quaint piece of giantish artwork, a skull carved from a huge agate. Surely some collector of such things would buy it, but for how much?

                    As noted, levels 2 and 4 don’t have any room descriptions–some limitation imposed by the game basically faking the Hellfire Warrior application into thinking it’s playing Hellfire Warrior levels. But to compensate, Reiche used treasure descriptions more as encounter flags rather than literal treasures. Sometimes, you find healing items that can be repeatedly taken. Other times, you find a clue, as in “a severed hand . . . clutching spasmodically” that eventually “points north, up the corridor.” And still other times, it’s just flavor text, as in “the floating remains of one of the kraken’s more recent meals.”

The overall dungeon designs are superior to the earlier games in the series. You start in the “Abode of the Dragon,” a classic dungeon of rooms and passages featuring trolls, ogres, giants, grues, and the titular dragon. These are not Level 1 monsters, so you’re expected to bring an experienced character. The room descriptions have you begin in a field and (depending on the way you go) either enter a tunnel immediately or follow a shoreline around to a cave entrance. They both converge on the dragon’s lair, one via a straight path through monsters and treasures and the other taking a shortcut through a secret door. A side area leads to a unicorn’s grove, where a non-hostile unicorn lets you take an opal necklace. Other treasures found throughout the area include a magic sword and a healing potion; I think this is the first Dunjonquest game where any of the found treasures can remain a permanent part of your character.          

The game’s take on a “grue.”

           The demon Kronus occasionally pops up in all of the levels, and there’s nothing to do but run away. The manual says that he cannot be killed, and my experience bears that out.

The first Key of Acheron, a “spherical ruby gem as large as your fist,” is found beyond the slain dragon. Overall, the level has more valuable treasures than the others, and if you thoroughly explore, by the time you return to the surface, you’ll have enough money to enchant your sword and armor and drink every elixir in the apothecary’s shop before your next trip.          

The first key lies beyond the dragon.

         “The Temple in the Jungle” offers no room descriptions and simply has you navigating a fairly open level with different types of dinosaurs, giant dragonflies, and Sserpa (snake god) shamans. For the first time in the series, this level has an adventure game-like quality where the “rooms” don’t lie in consistent directions, and the map warps on itself. You have to create a little node map to find your way through. You eventually find the “amethyst key” in a room occupied by a giant tarantula.            

Fighting a giant dragonfly in what we have to imagine is a trackless jungle.

           “The Crystal Caves” puts you in an extinct volcano. There are some interesting “trap” areas that the game suggests are deep pools full of piranhas from which you have to climb your way out. Mechanically, you do this by searching for secret doors, but a player with an imagination will appreciate the game’s attempts to do something clever with limited mechanics.

Battling lava beasts, lizards, fungus men, salt slimes and dodging earthquakes and cave-ins (again, all described in detail in the manual), you eventually find your way through secret doors and recover the “emerald key” in a cavern.             

I collect the third gem.

           The last level is called “The Shadowland of Kronus.” Like the jungle, it lacks room descriptions, but here almost none of the treasures are actually treasures. Instead, they generally contain clues or taunts from Kronus.            

Some of the treasure descriptions from the final level.

          The level takes the longest to explore. Eventually, you find your way through a secret door to a large, open water area, where the game uses a treasure encounter to suggest you’re paddling around on a boat. Waves and “black rain” do damage to the character while you’re attacked by shadow bats, fiends, and krakens. Another node map is necessary to chart a path through the area.           

Release the kraken!

            You arrive ultimately on the shores of a citadel (this is all related via treasure paragraphs) and a walkway where numerous gaps suggest a “broken railing”; going through these gaps leads to instant death. Eventually, you come to Kronus’s chambers with side-rooms for a torture chamber, library, and bedroom. Each room has appropriate monsters, like wraiths, astral skulls, and automatons. I particularly enjoyed the treasure encounter in the library, with its Lovecraftian allusions:             

You stand in a library filled with books, scrolls, and tablets of arcane and eldritch knowledge. Looking around, you find such titles as De Mysteriis Vermis, The King in Yellow, and a complete edition of the Pnatonik Manuscripts. Resting on a nearby table you find a particularly interesting volume entitled The Necronomicon. When you open the book you find it filled with incomprehensible writings, and you feel an unholy chill pass through your body. Perhaps some wizard will buy this strange librum.

                  A secret door leads from Kronus’s chambers to the final area. You pass through a room of fake sapphire keys (and lots of monsters) before arriving in a room with Kronus himself guarding the real final key. As before, there’s no point in fighting Kronus. You have to dart up, grab the key, find a secret door in the north wall, and escape the dungeon before he kills you.           

The final encounter.

        Alas, just like its predecessor, the game is disappointing in its lack of acknowledgement that you’ve completed the main quest. Treasures are ephemeral things; they disappear, converted to gold, the moment the game transitions from the dungeon disk to the program disk. Thus, there isn’t even any way for it to record the fact that you’ve found each of the four keys on their appropriate levels. Even if there was, it wouldn’t matter, because the moment you leave the Acheron dungeon disk, you’re back in the Hellfire Warrior program, which doesn’t even know that Acheron exists. As with so many other places in the Dunjonquest series, you have to use your imagination to return the gems to the wizard Abosandrus and seal Kronus in his own dimension.

           The appearance of Treasure #1 four times in a row (this is the last) is the only “proof” that I’ve won.

           The Dunjonquest entries have always evoked tabletop modules, but this is perhaps the most sophisticated of the lot–a testament to Reiche’s prowess as a dungeon master. In a GIMLET,  I rated it 24, two points higher than Hellfire Warrior, apparently feeling better about both encounters and the economy.

I’ll try to check out Danger in Drindisti in the future. After that, the Dunjonquest series falls apart, perhaps more from the breakup of  Automated Simulations (and its rebranding as Epyx) than from anything to do with the quality of the series. If the Dunjonquest series had continued and grown, we might have enjoyed Gold Box-quality games before the Gold Box.

****

I’d like to ask a favor of my U.S. readers. I’m looking for places across the United States that sell Diet Coke with Ginger Lime in 20-ounce bottles. Exactly that–no other flavors, please, and no cans. Just Diet Coke with Ginger Lime in 20-ounce bottles. If you happen to see them at a local convenience store, drug store, or whatever, I would appreciate an e-mail to [email protected]. Thank you!

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/game-324-the-keys-of-acheron-1981/

#retro games #dos games #retro #crpg #adventure #amiga #oldcomputers #8bit #16bit #blog #repost

[pharmacyfollies]

Happy Easter! Pharmacy Follies

-Sometimes, I wonder about how they come up with the names of some of the shit we have stashed in the pharmacy and realized how lewd they can sound...

Last night, my man put his Harvoni in my Taytulla and we proceeded to Fenofibrate the night away and all was well until he decided to Kayexalate in my eye.

-Aye, because I've been sick and not in the mood for anyone's shit, my mind has mentally blocked out the stupidity to prevent me from snapping and killing the idiots. However, to humor all ya'll, FB was kind enough to remind me of these gems from 9 years ago. Enjoy!!!

1. Huh?

So I'm standing at the out-window, minding my own business, when some fruitcake comes up to me, shows me a bottle of Diabetic Tussin and asks...

Fruitcake: "Where can I find this but something different?"

Me: "Huh?"

Fruitcake: "I want to get this but something different."

Me: "So let me get this straight, you want to know where the Diabetic Tussin is but you want to get something different?"

Fruitcake: "Yes."

Me: "Against the wall past the pharmacy window."

I wasn't going to bother any further with that idiotic nonsense.

2. Get away from me

Dipshit comes to the counter and asks....

Dipshit: "Where can I find diaper rash cream?"

Me: "Aisle 3."

Dipshit: "Where's aisle 3?"

Me: "It's located between aisle 1 and 2."

Fuckin really.

3. Shoot me

Moron comes through the drive-thru to drop off prescriptions. Her children never had prescriptions filled so I make the mistake of asking....

Me: "Do you have insurance?"

Moron: "Yes, Public Aid."

And that's when the Mexican stare down begins. This would be a normal persons cue to take the card out and hand it to me but we're dealing with complete idiots here. I couldn't take the suspense any longer so I ask....

Me: "Do you want me to bill Public Aid or do you want to pay out of pocket?"

Moron: "Bill Public Aid."

Me: "Ok, do you have the card?"

Moron: "Yes."

And the Mexican stare down begins again. Again, this would be a normal persons cue to whip out the card but again, we're dealing with complete shitwits here. The suspense was killing me so I asked....

Me: "Ok, in order to bill Public Aid, I need to see the card."

That's when the lightbulb went off in her head and she said...

Moron: "You need the card?"

Me: "That's what I said."

Moron: "I'm not sure if I have it."

Me: "I cannot bill Public Aid unless you have the current card."

Moron: "Oh, I understand. I didn't know I was supposed to have it."

Me: "Yes, one of the requirements of Medicaid is that you show a current card whenever you seek medical assistance. Not only that, I can't bill Medicaid if I don't have the information in the system."

Moron: "So I need to show you the card in order for them to pay for the medicine?"

I'll bet you all an ovary and Ray's left nut that she graduated at the top of her class.

4. Compruébese antes de usted la ruina usted mismo!(Check yourself before you wreck yourself, for the Spanish challenged)

There's one thing I loathe and that's the E-RX system. The E-RX system allows doctors to send prescriptions over the computer. The main reason I loathe it is because doctors have a tendency of telling their patients...

Moronic Doctor: "I just sent your prescription to the pharmacy. It will be ready by the time you get there."

Uh, NO!! It does not work that way. Your doctor has no more control over my wait times than I do his appointment book. If I can't send one of my patients over to the doctors office to be pushed ahead of everyone else and to be seen right away then what makes them think that the prescriptions they send over have precedence over the prescriptions that were ahead of theirs? So we just open the pharmacy and I notice that there's 2 E-RX's waiting to be entered in. What a great way to begin my day. I enter them in and 15 minutes later, some dude comes to the counter and asks...

Idiot: "Speak Polish?"

Me: "No."

He shows me his ID and he's the dude from the E-RX's. I try to explain to him....

Me: "We have your prescriptions but they aren't ready. It will be one hour."

Idiot: "No, no. My doctor said ready."

Me: "No, they're not. We just got them. It will be one hour."

Idiot: "One hour?"

Me: "Yes."

Idiot: "Not good!"

Me: "I didn't say it was but it's one hour."

It's quite apparent that he really didn't understand me. Fuck 'em. You know, I can accept that some folks don't understand nor speak English. English is a hard language to learn. However, if you cannot understand nor speak English then it would be wise to bring someone who CAN understand and speak English. This is especially important when dealing with medicine because if I ask you if you're allergic to the medication your doctor prescribed and you say "no" because that's the only English word you know, don't get mad at us when you into anaphylactic shock. And don't come back with some idiot English speaking kinfolk who acts all incensed because none of us speak your language and couldn't help you out. These fuckers have no right to be mad when they couldn't be bothered to get off their ass to help you in the first place.

5. Sucks to be you

Fucktard calls up and says...

Fucktard: "I need a refill on my birth control."

She gives me the refill number and I tell her....

Me: "Your prescription is expired. We'll have to contact your doctor."

And here's where the fun begins...

Fucktard: "What do you mean it's expired? I have 2 refills!"

Me: "This prescription, and the refills, are only good for one year from the original date."

Fucktard: "The last time I got it filled, they told me I have 2 refills."

Me: "You did have 2 refills but they're expired."

Fucktard: "I don't think you understand. It's the weekend and my doctors office is closed. If I do not take my pills, my menstrual cycle will be all messed up."

Me: "Ok? That doesn't change the fact that your prescription is expired and that we have to contact the doctor for more refills."

Fucktard: "Then why did they tell me I have 2 refills? They should've never told me that! Why did they lie to me?!"

Me: "You weren't lied to. You asked if you had refills and you were correctly told that you have 2 refills. Those refills expired on 3/15. You could've gotten those 2 refills prior to that date. Because it's past 3/15, your prescription is expired."

Fucktard: "Why didn't anyone tell me that?!"

Me: "We do tell you that via your prescription label. All prescription labels tell you the expiration date of your refills."

You know, I've never understood the attitude of "everyone is responsible for my health EXCEPT for me". If you aren't going to take care of your health properly and put that responsibility into someone elses hands then you have NO right to bitch when things aren't done to your satisfaction. Grow the fuck up!

6. Sweet Jesus

So M my Little Hottie Beefcake is having trouble getting an insurance to go through. I take over and at one point, I need to find out who the primary card holder is....

Me: "Who's the card holder?"

Shitwit: "Tom."

Me: "Ok, what's his birthday?"

Shitwit: "I don't know."

Me: "How is Tom related to Jim?"

Shitwit: "That's his father."

Me: "You don't know your sons fathers birthday?"

Shitwit: "No."

Me: "I cannot bill the insurance unless I have that information."

Shitwit: "Ugh! Hold on!"

And she whips out her cell phone, dials a number and annoyingly asks her baby daddy for his birthday. I guess in this day and age, it's totally insane to know the birthday of the man who penised you enough to shoot his seed inside of you that resulted in a child springing forth from your loins. Then again, I'm the kind of person who likes to find out that information prior to being face down ass up. I guess I'm old fashioned like that.

7. Quit playin

Assmunch comes to the counter and informs us that he wants to transfer prescriptions from Walmart to us. He's asked if he's got the prescription bottles and he doesn't. He says...

Assmunch: "I want everything filled. It should be in the computer."

M: "You had them filled here?"

Assmunch: "No, Walmart."

M: "We're not Walmart."

Assmunch: "I know but I want to fill them here."

M: "Ok, I need the name of the medications and Walmarts phone number."

Assmunch: "Can't you just look in the computer for that?"

M: "Uh, no."

Assmunch: "Why not? I get them there all the time."

M: "Because we're not Walmart."

Assmunch: "But it should be in the computer."

M: "We're not connected to Walmarts computer so I can't look in their system to find out what you get."

Assmunch: "But I want to get them filled here."

M: "Ok, if you give me the name of the medications and Walmarts phone number, we can call and transfer them."

Assmunch: "I don't know the names. That's why I told you to look in the computer. It's all in there."

At that point, I was waiting for M to climb onto the counter, drop kick Assmunch in the neck and put him into a choke hold until he either tapped out or died from suffocation. I, personally, would prefer the latter.

8. God help us

The phone rings and I answer it....

Me: "Pharmacy, can I help you?"

Idiot: "I just took a pregnancy test. What does negative mean?"

Me: "Negative means you're not pregnant."

Idiot: "Oh, ok. Thanks!"

Me: "No, thank you!"

And I thanked her because the last thing the world needs is more stupid people.

9. Lord have mercy

Fuckface comes to the counter to pick up a prescription. Her insurance rejected it because it says it's too soon to be filled because it's been sent out via mail order. Here's where the fun begins. She flips out and says...

Fuckface: "That's wrong! I don't get mail order!"

R the Pharmacist: "I can only go by what the insurance says. They said that this was sent out a few days ago."

Fuckface: "Well I haven't received it yet and he really needs this medication!"

Me: "I thought she doesn't get mail order?"

Fuckface: "I spoke to the insurance and they said it would be taken care of and that it would be ready."

R: "That's not true. I'm trying to submit a claim to them and they're not paying for it."

Fuckface: "Yes, they are."

R: "Uh, no they're not. The only thing I can do is call the insurance to find out what's going on."

Fuckface: "There's no need to call the insurance! I already spoke to them and they said it's ready!"

R: "They're wrong."

Fuckface: "Do your job, Guy, or I'll come back there and do it for you."

Me: "Considering how busy we are, can we take her up on her offer? We could use the help especially from this intelligent being. She may be able to teach us peons a thing or two."

And you can bet your sweet asses that I was laughing my ass off at this. She reminded me of the old Walter Lantz cartoon of the man being told he needs to watch his nerves or he'll explode

10. I hate people

Jagnut is standing at the counter with a prescription in hand. I make the mistake of asking...

Me: "What's your phone number?"

Jagnut: "I don't know. It's in the computer."

I didn't know what knowing your phone number required high intellect.

11. Along the same lines

Halfwit comes to the counter and asks....

Halfwit: "Can I take this medication with everything I'm on?"

Me: "What medication are you on?"

Halfwit: "I don't know. It's in the system."

Great answer. After all, when you're in a horrific car accident, they're rolling your stupid ass into the ER and they ask you...

ER surgeon: "We need to know what medication you're on so there won't be any interactions."

It's not going to help them when you say....

Halfwit: "I don't know. It's in the system."

And you all wonder why I hate people.

12. Stop that!

So I'm standing in the drive-thru, entering in prescriptions or taking care of problems when it never fails. Some asshole will roll up and will ring the God damn bell while I'm standing there. That annoys the ass off of me because these idiots actually think I'm going to stop what I'm doing just to help them. It got so bad that it pissed T off and she gets on the speaker and says...

T: "She's standing right there! She'll be right with you! You can stop ringing the bell now!"

And they try to feign innocence by claiming they didn't see me there. I guess that can happen when you have your head wedged firmly up your ass.

Now onto the lighter side of things. We have a new pharmacist, H. We just love her to pieces. Considering that she's got a foul mouth like the rest of us, she fit right in. So we're standing around when a script came in for Suprax. For some unknown reason, I thought it was on a manufacturer back order. T pulls it off the shelf and says...

T: "We got some right here!"

Me: "Well spank my ass and call me Charles!"

And that's when H comes over, slaps me on the ass and calls me Charlie. Needless to say, I damn near died laughing. I also thanked God that I didn't exclaim "Fuck me up the ass with concrete dildo!" like I normally do.

For some ungodly reason, the higher ups like to think part of our job entails hawking shit like we're used car salesmen and one of those things are flavors. I, personally, think that flavoring medication makes it taste worst, I don't bring it up unless a customer request it and the only time I do suggest it is for a medication called Cleocin granules. The reason for that is and to quote H...

H: "Cleocin smells like farts and taste like shit!"

See? Didn't I tell you she fits right in with the rest of us vile savages?!

-Speaking of H, here's another blast from the past from 4 years ago. I've died AGAIN!! ROFLMAO!!!!!!!

-This video has been making the rounds and needless to say, it's maniacally hilarious. I show it to J. She dies laughing. However, nothing could prepare us for H the Pharmacist's reaction. I show it to her and the look on her face was priceless. That pales in comparison to the question she asked, which J and I were totally not prepared for: "Is that a Black one? It's kind of big!"

All I'm going to say is that there really is a God because He saved J and I from dying from laughter. In fact, I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying as I type this. This shall forever live in infamy! Enjoy! And if you haven't seen this video, just remember H's question while viewing it and it will make it even more funnier!!

-Who the fuck pulled this heinous crime?!!!!!!

-I see a car about to pull up in the drive-thru so I head over to answer it. Just as Asshole rings then bell, she feels that's the perfect time to get on her phone and light up a cigarette....

Me: "Can I help you?"

Asshole is running her cock holster on her phone.

Me: "Can I help you?"

Asshole take a drag from her smoke.

Me: "Why are you in my drive-thru?"

Asshole seemed really upset that I rudely interrupted her phone call: "I'm here to pick up a prescription."

Me: "What's the name?"

Asshole: "Shit Wit."

Me: "Do you have insurance?"

And that's when her passenger answers: "I have Public Aid."

Me: "Do you have the card?"

Asshole: "It should be in the system."

Me: "It's not. I'll need to see the card."

Shit Wit: "I don't have a card. All I have is this."

And she hands me a piece of paper with an ID number on there.

Me: "This number isn't going through. Medicaid says you're enrolled under a managed care program. I tried looking up coverage but nothing comes up. You're going to have to call your insurance and get the billing information."

Asshole: "Public Aid says that's all you need to bill them."

Me: "You were misinformed. So you'll need to call them and get the billing information."

Asshole: "Can't you call them?"

Me: "No."

Asshole: "Why not?"

Me: "Because it's not my responsibility to get your insurance information. It's almost April. If you know you have new insurance but they haven't sent you a card, you should've taken care of that in January. You shouldn't be going 4 months into the year without a new card or at least without getting the correct billing information."

Asshole: "So are you saying she can't get her medication?"

Me: "I'll be more than happy to sell you the medication at $115."

Asshole: "But she has insurance! I don't see why you won't call to get the information!"

Me: "I don't see why you don't call being that you have a phone in your hand."

Asshole: "Just transfer it to a different pharmacy."

Me: "If you want it transferred, go to the pharmacy of your choice and have them call us. You have a good day."

And that's when I had to walk away. Seriously, ya'll. It's almost fucking April. If you know you have new insurance and have not received a new card, what in the fuck are you waiting for?!! This just defies logic.

-So once again our hours got cut, for whatever fucking reason. The crazy part was I went to the fast food joint across the way and had a motherfucking epiphany. While I was waiting for them to hook me up with lips and assholes, I noticed they had at least 6 people working in that joint. 4 people cooking the food and 2 people taking orders. Mind you, this wasn't during a rush hour. It was around 3pm. It dawned on me that this food joint had more people working in it than there were in my pharmacy. At that time, it was 3 techs and 2 pharmacists and the only reason there were 3 techs and 2 pharmacists was because it was the overlap. Normally, it's just 2-3 techs and 1 pharmacist.

We're a busy pharmacy. So why in the fuck am I killing myself, running around like a nut, getting upset when I can't finish my job or do my job correctly when the company I work for refuses to properly staff the pharmacy? There is something SERIOUSLY WRONG when a fast food joint has more people working to make sure people get their lips and assholes in a timely manner than a pharmacy where we literally have peoples lives in our hands where a mistake can harm or even kill someone. I don't get it. Perhaps I should get into stripping. I may not be able to drop it's hot but I can lay it down like it's lukewarm. At this point, grinding on cock seems way better than running around like a nut, getting stress headaches and being told we're not working hard enough.

-Easter Musing:

When a patient gets mad at you because you can't tell them what their copay will be just by looking at their prescription but has to whip out their cell phone and look in their contacts because they don't know their own fucking phone number.

#pharmacy #pharmacy tech #pharmacist #pharmacy technician #pharmacy hell #pharmacy follies

[opulvnts-blog]

the war is over ??  the day is Finally here ?? ( vine kid vc ) sup fuCKERS ! . im sahar, 20, est n’ i suck major ass tbh and i have nothin’ interesting to say abt myself except that i’ve eaten chocolate chip cookies three times in one week and i hope i choke one day , and i love everything about sad movies .  !!! god now since this rp is open ill die for ur mfing characters, fuck me up with them plots . plz like this and come and plot w me ,   u won’t regrat plotting wit me cuz i’ll show u a good time boo boos . ps . i wrote this at 4 am so y’all better tell me smth nice about kennedy or im fucking done . ily all .. 

shes a vegan. wont tell anyone bc she vv reserved . like if u asked how are u she will say smth like ‘ fuck ouuta here fucking fuckboi ‘ and like whenever u get her very pissed off she will say fuck in every single sentence . like ‘ yo dude what the fuck ?? what in the actual fuck are u fucking kidding fucking piece of shit oh my fucking gof fuck bitch” she’s not a bitch or anything she just … toO MUCH ! she also thinks of herself as superior . at times, she can even come across as sickly sweet or just kind in general . SHES incredibly wise and have good judgement when it comes to the people in their lives or the situation at hand. they may not necessarily be too book smart but it’s definitely balanced out by the extent of their street smart/wise. if she’s got an opinion, you can guarantee she’s going to voice it to the highest of volumes. it doesn’t matter whether you’ve known her for 10 years or are complete strangers on the street, she won’t hesitate to share her opinion on the matter. especially if she disagrees with yours. she’s assertive, awfully blunt and arrogant. 

HERE ARE SOME VINES THAT I ASSOCIATE WITH KENNEDY :  HERE  . HERE. HERE ANDHERE  

OK NOW OFF TO HER BIO !

her dad was a very quiet man who was soft and kind and just a goof and she was… the opposite. they got along great when she was a kid but as soon as her teenage years came she just turned into a rebellious ball of shit tbh. her dad could not handle her, even tho he tried his best. he wasn’t the yelling type at all and he’d try to make her realize she was a handful thru calm words but KENNEDY was just yolo. she wasn’t good in school. absolutely sucked at math and any science. didn’t kno the difference between geometry and algebra until 8th grade, thought she was doing the same shit. basically every science is the same. but !! she was v good in english class. like, that was her only good subject besides PE bc she was sporty as fuck and got way too intense about it also she was lowkey a bully but only bullied boys because she felt a strong need to make them suffer and she has a lot of good memories about it  jhdjsdns

 JHGDFGHSYCTG like deadass would beat guys up and be like cOME ON MY GRANDMA COULD FUCKNG TAKE U !!! she would make them m i s e r a b l e things were always kind of tense between kennedy and her mom they never really got along ??? her mom rlly resent kennedy for who she is  even though kennedy really mfing tries to be a good person for her mom to accept who she is as a person.

things got a little better  when kennedy was 6 and her little brother mikkel was born. except………things only got worse a few years later?? there was an accident where mikkel got hit by a car when kennedy was walking him home from school.obviously the entire family was grief-stricken. they just lost their 6 year old son. it was awful. kennedy’s mom blamed herself, kennedy blamed herself and her dad blamed kennedy too. they moved around a lot after their son, kennedy’s brother died,, to different states but never out of the us and it was like none of them could rly talk about it with each other either. her parents started to fight a lot and they each had different ways of dealing with their grief. her mom went out on some crisis and had a string of affairs , while her dad turned to alcohol and abuse to deal with his grief.

her dad left her mom, after the incident. her mom got rlly fucked up like she will go to parties and act like she was 18. kennedy  lived with her mother who appeared to be involved in a few crimes . kennedy appeared to be more responsible than her mother at this point lmao . they got into a car accident under the influence of them celebrating her mother’s birthday. kennedy wasn’t the one driving, but she switched seats with her mother so she wouldn’t get in any more trouble which led to kennedy going to jail for a but bc she was underage .

the cops were like well shes has no one speical so lets leave her with her dad . her dad rlly couldn’t take care of kennedy because well .. he was a mess. he was always pass out on the couch with beer stains on his shirt and a pizza box on the floor.  mia was basically an accident/surprise to her father. he had no desire whatsoever to have kids after her brother’s incident.

 sometimes kennedy would come to school with bruises on her face. she remembers the snatches of convos between girls warning each other to steer clear of the leach, and wonder what they would say if she told them that everytime her father gets drunk she’s not sure being her father’s daughter will grant her immunity. She knew people could tell with one glance, one look, one simple instant. It was her eyes. Despite the thick makeup, they were still dark-rimmed., haunted, and sad. Most of all though, they were familiar. The fact that we were in front of hundreds of strangers changed nothing at all. She spent a summer with those same eyes-scared, lost, confused-staring back at herself. Anyone she was close with would have known them anywhere. she couldn’t sleep at night knowing that her parents will abuse her for anything that she will do. she spent countless of nights staying up, making sure that she wouldn’t have any slip ups in the morning when she woke up

 she spent the rest of her senior year shut off from the world as she grieved not only her brother, but the girl she used to be. she’d always been expected to go on to university & do something that would make a hell of a lot of money, but as her classmates got busy filling out their college applications, she holed up in the school’s auto-shop, learning how to work on cars.a few months after graduation, her grandfather passed ( of natural causes, thank god ) & she received a hefty inheritance. her classmates and teachers, lmao,  watched in horror as their precious gem of a daughter shelled out thousands of dollars to purchase her own garage, with plans to become a mechanic. she's not rich,  but she does have her own money . gives her a opportunity to say ‘at least i got here all by myself and not with mommy’s or daddy’s money’ heh…. 

kennedy  is somewhat emotionally stunted. her remaining friends from high school have all gone their separate ways & she hardly speaks to any of them. she’s dabbled in a romantic relationship here or there, but most of them have ended badly. basically? she’s a disaster. 

#networkintro

[obtusemedia]

The 50 greatest albums of the 2010s

These 50 albums are the records that stuck with me the most in this past decade. There are albums here that grew on me slowly over time, and others that I instantly clicked with. Some of these records are constantly on repeat; some I only pull off the shelf at a certain time of year, or when I’m in a certain mood.

Regardless of why I love them, these are my 50 favorite albums of the 2010s.

#50: In Colour by Jamie xx (2015)

Instrumental electronic music is really not my thing, but In Colour is one of the few exceptions.

Jamie xx — also a member of indie icons The xx — has said In Colour is meant to evoke the emotions of a night out in London’s nightclubs, but not work as typical dance music that would actually be played in those clubs. That description is dead on. 

With the exception of the bouncy Young Thug and Popcaan collab “I Know There’s Gonna Be (Good Times),” which serves as a fun break from the album’s moody atmospheres, none of these songs are danceable. Standouts like “SeeSaw” and “Girl” sound like the half-remembered soundtrack of a blacked-out night, with haunting whispers of vocals throughout. And the more pop-centric, heartbreaking ballads with fellow The xx members Romy and Oliver Sim prove Jamie can write stellar conventional tunes as well.

Best songs: “Loud Places,” “I Know There’s Gonna Be (Good Times)”

#49: Days Are Gone by HAIM (2013)

In their influential debut album Days Are Gone, the Haim sisters fused together ‘70s/’80s radio-friendly pop-rock, early ‘90s pop melodies and a modern Instagram sheen to create a collection of 11 instant indie-pop classics.

The San Fernando Valley-based sisters — Este, Danielle, and Alana — have both the songwriting and instrumental chops necessary to create the closest thing Millennials will get to a Fleetwood Mac album. Each song has approximately 40 hooks, plus some smooth guitar licks, just-funky-enough grooves and analog keyboards to get the job done. 

Given that 2013′s pop scene was more about disco throwbacks and Miley Cyrus riding construction equipment, it’s unsurprising yet a bummer that should-be hits like “The Wire” or “Forever” never became mega-smashes. But HAIM’s retro pop sound on Days Are Gone would serve as a playbook for the rest of the 2010s for pop stars seeking an indie edge and more pop-inclined indie artists alike.

Best songs: “The Wire,” “Days Are Gone”

#48: Teens of Style by Car Seat Headrest (2015)

Teens of Style is almost more of a sampler record than a proper album. Released after Car Seat Headrest signed to the legendary indie label Matador, the record consists of select songs from Will Toledo’s low-fi Bandcamp recordings, re-recorded.

But let’s be honest — those Bandcamp albums are rooooough. Toledo could write great tunes, but the sound quality was so bad that the songs sounded like they were recorded with a Game Boy Color. The re-recording was necessary.

The tracks here are still appropriately fuzzy, with Toledo singing them through a distorted vocal filter. But with actual production values, the massive guitars and energetic choruses of grunge bangers like “Times To Die,” “Something Soon,” and “The Drum” come to the surface. And it also features one of Toledo’s best songs, the Pet Sounds-meets-Pavement power ballad “Strangers.” It’s a must-listen for any ‘90s nostalgists or sad bastards.

Best songs: “Strangers,” “Something Soon”

#47: AM by Arctic Monkeys (2013)

This was an interesting experiment that seemed doomed to fail: Taking an aggressively British rock band whose previous formula had gotten stale, and transforming them into slick, swaggering American rock gods. But somehow, AM works. Alex Turner channeled a greasy charm in his winking croon, nearly developing a Western drawl. And although the production is significantly smoother, the Arctic Monkeys didn’t forget how to RAWK — the clanging guitars of “R U Mine?” and “Arabella” will wake you right up.

Yes, AM is one of those Urban Outfitters-core albums that was a favorite amongst suburban faux-hipsters. It’s not nearly as cool as it thinks it is. But it’s still the closest thing the ‘10s have to a classic rock masterpiece.

Best songs: “R U Mine?,” “Do I Wanna Know?”

#46: Charli by Charli XCX (2019)

This decade has seen two versions of London pop visionary Charli XCX: The glitched-out weirdo behind “Vroom Vroom” and “Track 10,″ and the snotty popstar who sang the hook on an Iggy Azalea hit and wrote a bubblegum track for a teen romance. What makes Charli such a fun listen is it’s her only project that masterfully balances her two sides. 

Do you prefer radio-friendly hook machine Charli? Here’s some synthy duets with Troye Sivan and Lizzo. If you want the experimental side of Charli, there’s the jagged “Click” and a song that sounds like it samples the THX theme. And the best songs take a little from both of Charli’s strengths (like the two tracks below).

Best songs: “Gone,” “Cross You Out”

#45: Harry Styles by Harry Styles (2017)

When Harry Styles, arguably One Direction’s most beloved member, announced his first solo album, I can’t imagine many fans expected it to be so...dad rock. 

Styles’ self-titled debut goes down easy, with its gentle guitars and singer-songwriter odes to love. It’s the kind of record that’s easy to scoff at — the pretty one in a boy band tries his hand at ~serious~ music — but remember, critics didn’t love Paul McCartney’s first couple solo albums either. Harry Styles’ impeccable pop-rock songwriting will cement its legacy,

Best songs: “Sign of the Times,” “Two Ghosts”

#44: Mylo Xyloto by Coldplay (2011)

Mylo Xyloto is unabashedly corny, and that’s what makes it great. You’d expect a Coldplay album to already have a high level of cheese, but Mylo Xyloto takes it to another level. Unlike the similarly poppy A Head Full Of Dreams a few years later, Xyloto’s head-first dive into synths and dance beats is actually memorable. There’s technically a loose connecting story tying the songs together, but all you need to enjoy the album is a love for massive, world-conquering choruses and a love of Chris Martin’s heart-on-sleeve emotions.

Best songs: “Every Teardrop is a Waterfall,” “Charlie Brown”

#43: Everybody Works by Jay Som (2017)

Plenty of great dream-pop albums were released this decade, but none of them feature as many variations on that style as Jay Som’s Everybody Works. All of Oakland singer-songwriter Melina Duterte’s songs are hazy and catchy, but she still manages to dabble in the sounds of grunge (“1 Billion Dogs”), Latin pop (“One More Time, Please”) and even early ‘00s soccer-mom pop (“The Bus Song”). And other than an overly-long closing track, Duterte nails everything she tries. Everybody Works is a little slight, but the music is too hypnotizing to resist.

Best songs: “The Bus Song,” “(BedHead)”

#42: The Suburbs by Arcade Fire (2010)

The Suburbs is an album that seems to sprawl out forever, just like its namesake. And with apologies to The Hold Steady, this album is the closest thing Millennials got to creating a Springsteen classic of their own. 

The classic-rock and new-wave influences that Arcade Fire melded create a feeling of both comfort and dread, perfectly encapsulating the feelings of someone trapped in endless housing developments and strip malls. The tension builds and builds, until it all gloriously climaxes with the ‘80s pop throwback “Sprawl II” — a triumphant anthem about feeling trapped. Arcade Fire’s follow-ups to The Suburbs might have dimmed the band’s reputation, but their Grammy-winning masterpiece still holds up.

Best songs: “Sprawl II” “Suburban War”

#41: Era Extraña by Neon Indian (2011)

The first sign that Neon Indian wouldn’t be a flash-in-the-pan unlike many of his chillwave peers, Era Extraña is a glitchy new wave pop masterpiece. Tracks like “Halogen (I Could Be A Shadow),” “Hex Girlfriend” and “Suns Irrupt” sound less like traditional synthpop songs than hallucinatory memories, yet they’ll never leave your head. And Texas keyboard wizard Alan Palomo’s biggest crossover hit is also on this album, the burbling gem “Polish Girl.” Jump into any point in the album — it’s likely a stellar tune stuffed with analog synth riffs.

Best songs: “Halogen (I Could Be A Shadow),” “Fallout” 

#40: MASSEDUCTION by St. Vincent (2017)

Indie hero St. Vincent made a sharp pivot into pop with MASSEDUCTION, her fifth album and first collaboration with super-producer Jack Antonoff. But given her art-rock leanings, this wasn’t going to be a typical pop album.

MASSEDUCTION is a gonzo record that manages to balance tearjerking ballads like “Happy Birthday, Johnny” and “Slow Disco” with new-wave freakouts like “Fear The Future” and “Sugarboy.” I’d call it one of those pop albums with an undercurrent of darkness under the shiny sheen, but the darkness on this album is more than an undercurrent. Panic is the overwhelming emotion throughout MASSEDUCTION, and Annie Clark was the perfect artist to convey that feeling through her weirdo pop jams.

Best songs: “Los Ageless,” “Happy Birthday, Johnny”

#39: Gossamer by Passion Pit (2012)

Gossamer sounded cutting-edge in 2012, with its warped vocal samples and fizzy synthpop production. Unfortunately, that production has already aged badly less than a decade later.

But that doesn’t mean that Michael Angelakos’ songwriting has suffered with time. His morose, depressed lyrics still sync masterfully with the sugary synthpop that backs them up. And even though Angelakos is writing about dour topics like the Great Recession, bipolar disorder and suicide, he doesn’t forget the hooks. Songs like “Carried Away,” “Cry Like A Ghost” and of course, the big hit “Take A Walk,” could easily slide into Top 40 radio if they weren’t so grim lyrically. And I’m sure once early ‘10s production comes back in vogue in a decade or two, Gossamer will once again sound fresh.

Best songs: “Take A Walk,” “I’ll Be Alright”

#38: Atrocity Exhibition by Danny Brown (2016)

Danny Brown’s music always seemed a little unhinged. But Atrocity Exhibition — one of the decade’s most unique, haunting albums — is a true look into his demented mind. The production is warped and fried, and the Detroit rapper’s inimitable whacked-out flow is pushed to its breaking point. The result is a record that sounds both cartoonishly fun and absolutely terrifying.

Brown’s hedonistic-yet-chaotic lifestyle detailed in Atrocity Exhibition is wildly entertaining to listen to, but it’s not a world you want to live in. It sounds like both dropping acid and getting curb-stomped at the same time. And it’s a sonic achievement I’m not sure Brown will be able to top.

Best songs: “Ain’t It Funny,” “When It Rain”

#37: Born This Way by Lady Gaga (2011)

Listen, I love Gaga. She’s my favorite pop star of all time, point blank. But she only has one perfect album: 2009′s sharp, concise The Fame Monster, which missed the decade cutoff by only two months. Every other record Gaga’s released has at least a few filler tracks. But Born This Way’s highs are so dizzyingly high that it’s impossible to not recognize this album.

Imagine if Gaga kept Born This Way to only 10 tracks or so, cut out the fluff. It would be wall-to-wall early 10s pop masterpieces: “Marry The Night.” “Born This Way.” “You And I.” And of course, “The Edge Of Glory.” And that’s not even counting the many solid deep cuts sprinkled throughout — there’s a biker song about riding goddamn unicorns. How could you hate that?

Born This Way is still an exhausting listen in its full, but that’s partly because it’s so exhilarating that you couldn’t possibly have any energy left afterwards.

Best songs: “The Edge of Glory,” “You And I”

#36: To Pimp a Butterfly by Kendrick Lamar (2015)

Like Gaga, Kendrick Lamar is one of the decade’s great visionaries, but he also tends to overstuff his albums (with one exception, we’ll get to it later). And To Pimp a Butterfly definitely has some filler in its back half. But when Lamar is firing on all cylinders, the album reaches heights that 99% of albums couldn’t even dream of.

The album’s eight-song first half is a stunning masterwork of songs that have wildly different tones and emotions, yet still manage to piece together a running theme of the confusing, troubled black experience in modern America. And even the rougher second half has furious cuts like “Hood Politics” and “The Blacker The Berry.”

I have to give Lamar all the props for having a grand vision with To Pimp a Butterfly. The best albums require a sky-high vision. But, like with Born This Way, if it had been trimmed by three or four songs, it could’ve been top-10 of the decade.

Best songs: “The Blacker The Berry,” “King Kunta”

#35: 1989 by Taylor Swift (2014)

There was a lot of anger when Taylor Swift won the Album Of The Year Grammy for 1989 over To Pimp a Butterfly. But, at the risk of sounding like I have no taste — maybe the Grammys actually got it right?

I know Red is the fan and critic favorite of Swift’s albums, but I’ve always found it to be wildly inconsistent (despite some incredible high points). 1989, meanwhile, doesn’t waste a single second. It’s a perfect pop album, delivering the gargantuan hooks and leaving before it lingers around too long. It’s one of those records where nearly every track could’ve been a hit single. And even if it isn’t Swift’s peak lyrically, it’s certainly her peak in terms of mastering pop music craft and production.

Best songs: “Style,” “Blank Space”

#34: I like it when you sleep, because you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it by The 1975 (2016)

This might be the most frustrating album on the list. On I like it..., a massive leap of a sophomore album from The 1975, there are so many untouchable pop classics: “The Sound.” “Somebody Else.” “Love Me.” “UGH!” “A Change of Heart.” “She’s American.”

But there are also some mind-boggling choices, like adding two lengthy, pointless instrumental interludes and ending the record on a couple of painfully boring acoustic guitar numbers — not The 1975′s strong suit. But the ‘80s retro flair of I like it... is so charming, and its sheer scope so ambitious, that I still find myself returning to the record over and over again. It was the album where The 1975 proved they were more than just pretty British bad boys, but true Millennial pop icons.

Best songs: “Somebody Else,” “A Change of Heart”

#33: They Want My Soul by Spoon (2014)

They Want My Soul is an album by Spoon, the world’s most consistent rock band since 1998. So naturally, it’s good — all Spoon albums are.

But They Want My Soul is a perfect back-to-basics record, returning to that classic crisp, uber-catchy indie rock sound that Spoon perfected in the prior decade. There’s a few new production flourishes, but for the most part, the Austin band just deliver an updated version of the goods. Why fix something that ain’t broken?

Best songs: “Do You,” “Rainy Taxi”

#32: House of Balloons by The Weeknd (2011)

Before he started pumping out Michael Jackson pastiches, The Weekend was mysterious and depraved as hell. His introduction to the world, House of Balloons, is still just as haunting and impactful as it was in 2011. Abel Tesfaye’s helium vocals contrast masterfully with his dark lyrics and the nocturnal, grimy production.

House of Balloons is certainly an album that needs to be listened to at certain points of the day/year — listening to it at noon on a sunny July day is just wrong. Wait until it’s nighttime and when the temperature drops — Tesfaye is from Toronto, after all — and embrace the darkness.

Best songs: “House Of Balloons / Glass Table Girls,” “The Party & The After Party”

#31: Soft Sounds From Another Planet by Japanese Breakfast (2017)

Japanese Breakfast — AKA Eugene indie rocker Michelle Zauner — is Oregon’s finest musical project of the century (no, bands that moved to Portland don’t count; sorry Modest Mouse, The Shins and Sleater-Kinney). And Soft Sounds From Another Planet is both her high-water mark and proof that Zauner has the potential to become an all-time indie great.

The songs on Soft Sounds take the classic dream-pop/shoegaze sound and tweak it a bit, fusing it with alt-rock and sci-fi new wave. The album’s centerpiece, “Boyish,” sounds like a gorgeous prom ballad from the ‘50s. But Zauner herself is who brings Japanese Breakfast’s songs to light. Her deeply personal and emotional songwriting strikes a chord, and her flexible vocals cut through the cloudy production like a foglight.

Best songs: “12 Steps,” “The Body Is a Blade”

#30: Run The Jewels 2 by Run The Jewels (2014)

RTJ2 starts with Killer Mike screaming in the studio. That furious, profane and chaotic energy carries throughout RTJ2, an apocalyptic hip-hop masterpiece.

Killer Mike and El-P had no shortage of political targets to spray their anger at with, from corrupt, violent cops to an unjust capitalist system. Songs like “Early” and “Crown” are tragic, paranoid retellings of police brutality that would leave even Fox News viewers sympathetic. But the key to RTJ2 is that Mike and El are still clearly having a blast. When they rip apart their enemies, they do so with glee, and El’s energetic dystopian production was at its peak with this record.

Best songs: “Oh My Darling Don’t Cry,” “Early”

#29: IGOR by Tyler, The Creator (2019)

IGOR is one of those albums that creates its own sonic universe. The blend of fuzzed-out synths, aggro hip-hop and sweet retro soul that Tyler, The Creator cooked up on this album is truly one of a kind.

The former enfant terrible of rap put his raw emotions to use by telling the story of a brutal story of unrequited love. Tyler perfectly captured the rollercoaster of emotions of that scenario, from queasiness to vengeful anger to dejection to finally acceptance. Every second is packed with hooks, ear-grabbing production and the relatable narrative. 

Flower Boy might have been the world’s introduction to a more thoughtful Tyler. But IGOR is when that potential was fully realized.

Best songs: “EARFQUAKE,” “A BOY IS A GUN*”

#28: Guppy by Charly Bliss (2017)

What if ‘90s rockers, instead of heroin, were addicted to Pixy Sticks? That’s what Guppy sounds like: Angsty lyrics and crunchy guitars, but all in the service of incredibly energetic and catchy pop-rock songs. Lead singer Eva Hendricks’ piercing, squeaky vocals just add to the rush of excitement each song has — it sounds like a literal child is singing sometimes.

Guppy isn’t going to be for everyone; not every person wants to down a king size bag of Sour Patch Kids in one sitting. But for a fun sugar rush with some legitimate heft, you can’t do much better than Charly Bliss’ electric debut album. 

Best songs: “Westermarck,” “Scare U”

#27: Carrie & Lowell by Sufjan Stevens (2015)

On the exact opposite end of the emotional and energy spectrum from Guppy sits Carrie & Lowell. Sufjan Stevens’ acoustic masterpiece is about the death of his mother, and the complicated feelings that arose from that moment. It’s a haunting, dark collection of songs that grapple with Stevens’ relationships with his deceased mother and God.

Fair warning: Carrie & Lowell is insanely sad. If you’re not in the mood for some downer songs, you’ll likely switch it off. But sometimes, we all need a good tear-jerker. And if you squint at it right, it might be the greatest Christian album of all time (that’s a stretch, I realize...but I’m sticking with it).

Best songs: “The Only Thing,” “Fourth of July”

#26: Late Night Feelings by Mark Ronson (2019)

When was the last time that a producer-driven album was this good? Or more miraculously, this cohesive?

Late Night Feelings is exactly what you think it is based on the title: a collection of nocturnal songs about heartbreak. Ronson mostly abandoned his trademark ‘80s and ‘70s retro sounds for a more modern pop sound (for the most part), with each track perfect for a night drive. And he gathered a murderer’s row of female singers and songwriters to accompany him. He got megastars like Miley Cyrus and Camilla Cabello to deliver some of their best-ever work, and gave indie darlings Angel Olsen and Lykki Li massive platforms to work their magic. Late Night Feelings is a blueprint for any other pop producers who want their album to be more than just a grab bag of singles and filler.

Best songs: “True Blue,” “Find U Again”

#25: Bloom by Beach House (2012)

Picking the best Beach House album is like picking the best Skittles flavor — they’re pretty much all great, and there’s not too much difference between any of them. But pound for pound, Bloom is the best Beach House record in my book, delivering as much hazy dreampop goodness as one could handle. More than perhaps any other record the Baltimore duo released, it’s all-killer-no-filler; the perfect bridge between the band’s early guitar-driven sound and their more recent reliance on keyboards. Even the secret closing track is great! But the album’s strongest section is its first four songs, arguably all of which could be a top-10 Beach House song. “Myth” in particular is the moment when it became clear that the duo had established themselves as perhaps dreampop’s greatest act.

Best songs: “Myth,” “Other People”

#24: Take Care by Drake (2011)

Almost all of Drake’s albums are famously overlong and stuffed with filler. Take Care, the Canadian icon’s sad-boy masterpiece, only commits one of those sins: It’s a bit on the long side, but nearly all of the 19 tracks are great. 

Take Care is probably best known for the tear-jerkings moments when Drake allowed himself to get aggressively mopey, such as the drunk-dial lament of “Marvins Room,” the mournful R&B of “Doing It Wrong.” But there’s plenty of fiery bangers amongst the tears — who hasn’t used “Lord Knows” or “HYFR” to get hyped? Take Care was the foundation that built Drake’s 2010s empire, and will likely be remembered as his ultimate classic record.

Best songs: “Marvins Room,” “Lord Knows”

#23: Currents by Tame Impala (2015)

If Take Care is the definitive hip-hop sad-boy album of the decade, Currents is certainly its indie rock counterpart. Aussie psych-rock wizard Kevin Parker took Tame Impala into synthier territory on this album, jamming as many '80s Casio riffs as possible next to his guitar grooves. Some Tame Impala fans might have decried the poppier sound on this album at the time, but I believe Currents will go down as Parker’s finest moment.

Best songs: “The Less I Know The Better,” “Let It Happen”

#22: Take Me Apart by Kelela (2017)

The perfect marriage of off-kilter, nocturnal indie pop and R&B, Take Me Apart is one of the top-tier night-driving albums of the decade. The production, led by indie heavyweights Ariel Reichstaid and Arca, along with Kelela herself, is masterful. It calls back to ‘80s and ‘90s R&B sounds while sounding like an alien transmission. And Kelela is the perfect vocalist for this style, managing to sound both sensual and robotic. Take Me Apart should’ve been a blockbuster hit, but for now, it stands as R&B’s most underrated album of the ‘10s.

Best songs: “LMK,” “Truth or Dare”

#21: Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming by M83 (2011)

You can’t casually listen to Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming. From the second you press play on the majestic opener “Intro,” you have to buckle up for a breathtaking 73-minute experience. Calling M83′s bombastic synthpop/post-rock mix “cinematic” has become a cliché at this point, but there’s no better descriptor for it. Especially when Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming is nearly the length of a feature film. Standouts like “Midnight City,” “Wait,” and “Outro” haven’t lost their luster after years of overplay, and there’s plenty of deep cuts to discover with each listen. Even the frog-themed acid trip is enjoyable! It’s no wonder Anthony Gonzalez followed up this album with the goofy and low-stakes Junk — there was no way he’ll ever be able top the bombastic, nostalgic glory of Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming.

Best songs: “Midnight City,” “Intro”

#20: Norman Fucking Rockwell! by Lana Del Rey (2019)

It’s about damn time that Lana Del Rey, one of the decade’s most iconic and influential figures, started getting some critical acclaim. And it makes sense that the rave reviews started arriving with Norman Fucking Rockwell! this summer. It’s easily her most singer-songwriter-y album, stuffed with clever turns of phrase and devastating lines. NFR is also Lana’s most somber album, with a focus on depression, romantic dissatisfaction and the death of the American Dream. And yet, it ends on a note of tentative hope, mirroring the disposition of many nervous Millennials and Gen Zers. It’s not my favorite album of hers, but undoubtedly, Rockwell is the moment when Lana established herself as a generational icon.

Best songs: “The greatest,” “Mariners Apartment Complex”

#19: Lemonade by Beyoncé (2016)

Some may prefer Beyoncé’s more R&B-focused self-titled surprise album, but I’m always going to point to Lemonade as her towering achievement. Beyoncé created a blueprint for a flawless breakup album here: There’s songs detailing her disbelief at Jay-Z’s affair, a group of fiery kiss-off anthems, some somber ballads about her grief, and finally, a triumphant moment of reconciliation. And throughout the story, Beyoncé masterfully samples a variety of genres, from reggae to hard rock to even country. And just when you think the album ends on a perfect note, Beyoncé tacked on her greatest-ever single, “Formation.” I’m always a sucker for albums that tell a complete story, and Lemonade was an instant classic in that format.

Best songs: “Formation,” “Don’t Hurt Yourself”

#18: Antisocialites by Alvvays (2017)

In contrast to Lemonade, Alvvays’ sophomore record Antisocialites only sticks with one musical style: ghostly, uber-catchy dream pop. It’s like Chromatics, but for the daytime. Good thing the Toronto group are masters of that sound. 

Their early-R.E.M.-meets-Beach House vibe was never been better than on Antisocialites, where every song is a melancholy gem. None of the songs are overly ambitious, but that’s not a problem when Alvvays’ simplistic beauty is irresistible regardless.

Best songs: “In Undertow,” “Dreams Tonite”

#17: DAYTONA by Pusha-T (2018)

Virginia hip-hop legend Pusha-T somehow made sounding in his comfort zone sound like the coolest thing in the world with his magnum opus, DAYTONA. At only seven songs and 21 minutes, the record is a textbook example of a tight and focused classic. Push’s coke-dealer bars and Kanye West’s dusty, sample-heavy production fit perfectly. The album at times almost sounds like a nihilistic The College Dropout. Late-era Kanye is nobody’s favorite, but DAYTONA proved that he and Push are still one of hip-hop’s best teams.

Best songs: “If You Know You Know,”  “Santeria”

#16: Sometimes I Sit and Think, and Sometimes I Just Sit by Courtney Barnett (2015)

Courtney Barnett cemented herself as one of the finest songwriters of her generation with her debut record, Sometimes I Sit and Think, and Sometimes I Just Sit. Barnett’s dry Aussie wit rarely feels too snarky, she just has a matter-of-fact view of the world that’s refreshing and unique. The album plays like a series of indie rock vignettes, with gloomier songs about coral reef destruction and imposter syndrome balanced out by goofy rock bangers like “Aqua Profunda!,” in which Barnett describes trying to impress a hot woman at the pool and accidentally passing out in the process. Sometimes is a truly fun, one-of-a-kind album that’s a perfect summer road trip listen.

Best songs: “Pedestrian At Best,” “Elevator Operator”

#15: A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships by The 1975 (2018)

As much as I adore The 1975′s three albums, all three of them unfortunately have a few fatal flaws. Their self-titled debut is consistent, but never transcendent. Their sophomore album is brilliant — except for the few painfully boring acoustic ballads and instrumental tracks. The Manchester group’s third effort is their closest to perfection, despite one or two pointless numbers (looking at you, “Surrounded By Heads and Bodies”). Matty Healy and co.’s thirst for genre experimentation is rampant here, with songs aping *inhales deeply* Oasis-esque arena rock bombast, wiry post-punk, tropical pop, gospel, cheesy ‘80s synthpop, melodramatic R&B, wonky electronica, and even jazz. And considering they nail all of those efforts, and threw in the generation-defining political anthem “Love It If We Made It” just for kicks...yeah, I’d say this album, and The 1975, are pretty damn incredible.

Best songs: “Love It If We Made It,” “It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You)”

#14: Clean by Soccer Mommy (2018)

Clean is on the opposite end of the ambition spectrum from The 1975 — it’s mostly standard indie rock and singer-songwriter folk. But what Soccer Mommy, AKA Nashville artist Sophie Allison, did within those narrow confines was magnificent. Allison spent 10 tracks detailing heartbreak, anger and jealousy with spare, relatable lyrics. And the lilting, gorgeous melodies she paired them with on tragically beautiful songs like “Scorpio Rising” and “Wildflowers” could reduce anyone to tears. Clean is both a display of raw potential and a memorable statement in its own right.

Best songs: “Scorpio Rising,” “Cool”

#13: Blonde by Frank Ocean (2016)

I could never get into Channel Orange (besides “Pyramids”... that song goes HARD), but Blonde hypnotized me immediately. Maybe I just prefer Frank Ocean’s weirder side, as Blonde has very few concessions to the radio. It’s an atmospheric trip through Ocean’s mind, and the closest R&B got to dreampop this decade. It doesn’t all work for me— “Futura Free” is a weak closer, and the interludes like “Facebook Story” are pointless — but when whe record on point, it’s the best work of Ocean’s career. If you don’t feel goosebumps when listening to the silky smooth “White Ferrari” or when the harmonies come out at the end of “Self Control,” I’m not sure what to tell you.

Best songs: “Ivy,” “Self Control”

#12: Strange Desire by Bleachers (2014)

Jack Antonoff is likely the decade’s greatest pop producer, producing career-defining masterpieces for multiple artists on this list. But he still left some of his best tunes for himself. Strange Desire, the debut album for his side band, Bleachers, is a gloriously bombastic ‘80s pop fever dream. It sounds like a John Hughes movie soundtrack infused with Pop Rocks. 

Antonoff isn’t the world’s greatest singer, but his utter commitment to the cheese of his tunes makes up for that entirely. A more jaded person will probably listen to Strange Desire, shake their head, chuckle and move on. But as a proud cornball, I love this ridiculous, passionate pop album, random Yoko Ono cameos and all.

Best songs: “Rollercoaster,” “Like A River Runs”

#11: Night Time, My Time by Sky Ferreira (2013)

New wave and grunge shouldn’t go together. They’re diametrically opposed: one is bright and quirky, the other is morose and grimy. But in her debut album — and sadly, her only album so far — alt-pop genius Sky Ferreira melded the two genres seamlessly. Ferreira’s vocals and angsty attitude are a natural fit for alt-rock’s clanging guitars and angry lyrics, but she can also play the synthpop diva when needed. And on some of the albums’ best tracks, like “Heavy Metal Heart” and “Ain’t Your Right,” she comes off as a Seattle-friendly revamp of ‘80s stars like Pat Benatar or Joan Jett. It’s truly tragic that Ferreira’s second album has been in development hell, as Night Time, My Time is the kind of assured, rugged debut that signals the start of a brilliant career.

Best songs: “I Blame Myself,” “24 Hours”

#10: Ultraviolence by Lana Del Rey (2014)

Lana Del Rey is certainly one of the 2010s’ defining artists. But which album is her best work? It depends on your taste: the critics seem to prefer the more subdued, songwriter-y Norman Fucking Rockwell! The album with the strongest singles and most striking style is certainly her polarizing debut, Born To Die. And for those who have difficulty sleeping, I’m sure the boring-as-hell Honeymoon helps with that. (There’s also Lust For Life...that one’s fine, I guess.)

But for me, Ultraviolence is still Lana’s pinnacle. From the album-opening psych-rock freak-out “Cruel World” to the tear-inducing melodramatic album closer “The Other Woman,” it’s her most complete album. Her tragic retro California vision is fully realized here, as it explores the dark side of her persona. Even when the music sounds triumphant, like on the James Bond-esque “Shades of Cool” or G-Funk-evoking “West Coast,” there’s a strong undercurrent of misery. And Lana’s haunting vocals sell even the most ridiculous lyrics here. Most artists would sound silly singing “Pretty When I Cry,” but Lana sells the hell out of it. 

And if you still don’t get the Cult of Lana after hearing Ultraviolence — well, as she sings on “Brooklyn Baby,” “If you don’t like it, you can beat it.”

Best songs: “Shades of Cool,” “The Other Woman”

#9: Yeezus by Kanye West (2013)

Do you realize how difficult it is for an album to still sound abrasive, shocking and futuristic nearly seven years after its release? I remember a time when “Like A G6″ sounded like the future — now it’s just a goofy early-’10s hit. But I imagine Yeezus, Kanye West’s likely final masterpiece (sorry, Life of Pablo stans), will continue to freak out and delight future generations.

Working with fellow producing legends Rick Rubin (!) and Daft Punk (!!!), West decided to finally embrace how much of Middle America saw him with Yeezus. If crowd-pleasers like My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy and Watch The Throne wouldn’t change some people’s minds, then fine — he was more than happy to play the villain.

Yeezus’ distorted, pitch-black production still sounds fantastic today, and is a perfect fit for the album’s bitter, furious attitude. But despite all of West’s tirades, he still found time to let his humor shine through, giving us scores of funny moments, including his greatest-ever one-liner: “HURRY UP WITH MY DAMN CROISSANTS!!” And even if you missed the Old Kanye, there’s something here for you too: the soulfully profane “Bound 2,″ a crass love letter to Kim Kardashian with a gorgeous chipmunk soul sample.

This album is absolutely not for everybody, but its alienating and combustable nature is what makes Yeezus a masterwork to this day.

Best songs: “New Slaves,” “I Am A God”

#8: MY WOMAN by Angel Olsen (2016)

Angel Olsen, the greatest singer-songwriter of her generation, rarely sits still. Her three best albums all have a sharply different feel: 2014′s Burn Your Fire For No Witness is more traditional, sticking with fuzzy indie rock and hauntingly spare acoustic ballads. Her most recent album, All Mirrors, is the opposite — a maximalist, theatrical outpouring of emotions with a full orchestra on most tracks. But Olsen’s greatest work so far is the album she recorded between those two. If Burn Your Fire is a tad too minimalist, and All Mirrors is a bit too over-the-top, then MY WOMAN fits snugly between those two extremes.

But production is not what makes Olsen a genius, although she typically has good taste in it — it’s her songwriting. MY WOMAN has some of her sharpest pop-leaning tracks in the first half, like the fiery “Shut Up Kiss Me” and country slow-dance “Never Be Mine,” then some sprawling slow-burn ballads in the second half. In particular, “Sister” is a folk-rock rollercoaster that works perfectly for driving on a long trip alone, with the hushed opening gradually turning into an expansive, cinematic climax with an incredible guitar solo. And that song’s lyrics are a relatable document of self-disappointment and resentment.

From Courtney Barnett to Soccer Mommy, the late ‘10s have seen an explosion of insanely talented singer-songwriters. But none had the ambition, scope and operatic vocals of Olsen and MY WOMAN.

Best songs: “Shut Up Kiss Me,” “Sister”

#7: good kid, m.A.A.d. city by Kendrick Lamar (2012)

Arguably the greatest hip-hop concept album of all time, good kid, m.A.A.d. city is still Kendrick Lamar’s most consistent work to date. Lamar, who normally has a problem with overstuffing his records, only has one filler track here — the drowsy “Real” — and everything else either moves his narrative forward in a compelling manner, or it’s an unstoppable banger (or both!). 

The storytelling techniques Lamar uses to tell his autobiographical coming-of-age tale in Compton, complete with drugs, gangs and lots of anxiety, are fascinating and clever. Lamar raps as though he’s in that moment, adding in lots of random, world-building details about his life and twisting his voice in various ways to fit the scene. Even the voicemail and audio recording clips aren’t a distraction, but a clever way to add context to his story without dragging things down.

With his elastic flow and the record’s eclectic production, Lamar is able to have the listener feel exactly how he felt in certain teenage moments. From the dreamlike, gauzy high points of “Money Trees” and “Poetic Justice” to the adrenaline-pumping chaos of “m.A.A.d. City” and “The Art of Peer Pressure” to the murky low points of “Swimming Pools” and “Sing About Me, I’m Dying Of Thirst,” he absolutely nails each and every specific emotion.

But unlike many concept albums, a majority of good kid’s songs still sound fantastic out of context. “Swimming Pools” may be a song about alcoholism disguised as a party anthem ... but it’s a pretty damn great party anthem. And the triumphant finale, the Dr. Dre-featuring “Compton,” doesn’t have anything to do with the narrative, but it’s still insanely fun.

With good kid, Lamar managed to have his audience eat their veggies while not even knowing it. It’s both incredibly ambitious, yet still restrained just enough to not feel too heavy. You couldn’t ask anything more of a major-label debut.

Best songs: “m.A.A.d city,” “The Art of Peer Pressure”

#6: Modern Vampires of the City by Vampire Weekend (2013)

Modern Vampires of the City bored me when I first heard it. I was so excited for its release, right before my high school graduation. I’d listened to Vampire Weekend’s debut album and their sophomore record, Contra, over and over again, and was thrilled for another collection of peppy, preppy indie rock. That’s not what Vampire Weekend gave us with Modern Vampires.

Their decision to take a more somber and mature tone with Modern Vampires turned out to be the smart one, as the album is a major grower. On first listen, its ballad-heavy tracklist doesn’t grab you, but Ezra Koenig’s contemplative lyrics and Rostam Batmanglij’s stunning production reveal themselves on repeat listens. From the swaying breakup anthem “Hannah Hunt,” to the baroque, vulnerable “Step,” this album is when the two were at their peak creative partnership.

Koenig was about to turn 30 during this album’s writing, and you can tell he felt mortality creeping up. The album’s most blunt song about death, “Don’t Lie,” uses iconography of headstones and ticking clocks to show Koenig’s nervousness on the subject. Faith plays a major thematic role as well. But despite these heavy topics, the band managed to deliver a gorgeous, eminently listenable experience. It’s the prime soundtrack for any anxious 20-something fully entering adulthood.

Best songs: “Hannah Hunt,” “Step”

#5: VEGA INTL. Night School by Neon Indian (2015)

Remember how I said that Tyler, The Creator’s IGOR created a unique world of its own? So does VEGA INTL. Night School. And its neon-drenched, warped ‘80s nostalgia trip is a world I could live in forever.

The magnum opus both of Neon Indian and the entire chillwave movement, VEGA is unlike anything else. Ideally, one listens to it while driving down Los Angeles streets after 9 p.m., when the roads are mostly empty but the heat and the light pollution still fill the air. Neon Indian mastermind Alan Palomo stuffed VEGA with melted synths and off-kilter grooves that sound like a 1986 Jazzercise tape stuck in a microwave. The lyrics don’t mean much, but they convey this winking retro sleaze that Prince mastered back in the day.

But all the quirky production choices in the world don’t make a great record unless you’ve got the tunes to back it up. And Palomo brought the tunes. Every single song here is insanely catchy or has a killer dance beat or both. It’s like Thriller for an alternative dystopic universe — every song could’ve been a single. In fact, the tropical haze of “Annie” predicted a wave of similar-sounding (and worse) pop hits in 2016 and 2017.

It’s a shame Palomo hasn’t been able to follow up VEGA with a new album since 2015. Perhaps he knew he couldn’t top this instant, subgenre-defining masterpiece.

Best songs: “Slumlord,” “Dear Skorpio Magazine”

#4: Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen (2015)

‘80s nostalgia was all the rage in the 2010s. And with apologies to Bruno Mars, Lady Gaga, Neon Indian, Daft Punk, The 1975 and many more who dabbled in Reagan-era throwbacks, that sound has a modern queen. And her name is Carly Rae Jepsen.

Emotion is such a perfect ‘80s pop album that it might be better than just about every actual ‘80s pop album (except Purple Rain and Thriller – I’m not that contrarian). Each song is deliriously catchy and stuffed with more hooks than should be legal. From the braying sax intro of the legendary album opener “Run Away With Me” to the glittering synths and slap bass of the energetic closer “When I Needed You,” every moment is euphoric.

Of course, we can’t talk about Emotion without discussing that technically, it flopped as far as sales go. Did Jepsen take too long to follow up the mega-smash “Call Me Maybe”? Did the label not promote it enough? Was the public just determined to define the British Columbia singer as a one-hit-wonder? Personally, I think it’s the latter — “Call Me Maybe” just sounds like the kind of goofy novelty song that comes as the singer’s only hit.

But Emotion is a defiant middle finger to anyone to who wants to define Jepsen by one song. At least a third of this album is better than “Call Me Maybe,” and the rest is on the same level. If you love synthpop, and you still haven’t heard Emotion, please do yourself a favor. Spend some time with the defining bubblegum pop album of the 21st century — I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Best songs: “Run Away With Me,” “Your Type”

#3: Melodrama by Lorde (2017)

On the surface, Melodrama and Emotion have a lot in common. Both Lorde and Carly Rae Jepsen took a long time to follow up their gargantuan, decade-defining hits with new albums. Both struggled to get a follow-up hit on their sophomore records (although at least Lorde had a second hit off her debut — remember “Team”?). And these two sophomore records happen to be the best two pop albums of the decade.

But that’s where the similarities end. Just like how “Royals” is an entirely different animal than “Call Me Maybe,” Melodrama is brilliant for very different reasons than Emotion.

In some ways, it makes sense that Melodrama didn’t pump out any hit singles. It’s a whispery, nocturnal concept album that doesn’t sound anything like 2017′s hits. Even the catchier tunes, like “Homemade Dynamite” or “Perfect Places,” have an undercurrent of nihilistic hopelessness to it, and not in the trendy “rich and sad” style that made Lil Uzi Vert and Post Malone stars. It’s more “holy shit, we’re coming of age while the world is burning down and we can’t do a thing about it.”

Earlier, I said Angel Olsen was the best songwriter of the decade. That’s still true, but Lorde is right behind her. Her lyrics are rich with detail and emotional resonance on Melodrama, relatably describing both a breakup and the subsequent partying in an unsuccessful attempt to forget about that breakup. “Liability” might be the decade’s most heartbreaking ballad — and this decade included an entire album about Sufjan Stevens’ dead mom.

“Royals” and Lorde’s debut album, Pure Heroine, showed a lot of promise. But it’s unfortunately all too common for budding pop artists to not meet those expectations. But with Melodrama, Lorde shattered the sky-high expectations she delivered for herself. We thought she could be another solid pop star. It turns out she’s actually the first Gen Z generational icon, and deservedly so.

Best songs: “Green Light,” “Liability”

#2: Teens of Denial by Car Seat Headrest (2016)

Like many Millennials and Gen Zers, I occasionally struggle with depression and anxiety. And although I can’t entirely relate to every moment on the album, there wasn’t a record this decade that encapsulated those emotions better than Teens of Denial, the decade’s greatest indie rock album.

Car Seat Headrest frontman/songwriter Will Toledo’s lyrics are painfully personal and embarrassing. It’s not entirely clear if these lyrics are based on his experiences or if he’s just an insightful storyteller, but Teens of Denial is powerful either way. The album’s loose narrative is about a guy who is not only depressed, but is surrounded by a world that seemingly heightens his depression at every step. 

This is most bluntly shown on the roaring, angsty opening track “Fill In The Blank” — where the chorus is literally someone telling him, “You have no right to be depressed/you haven’t tried hard enough to like it” — as well as the snarky faux-campfire singalong “Drugs With Friends,” where a bad trip results in the protagonist realizing he’s terrified of his peers and then he imagines Jesus himself casting shame upon him. But half the time, the protagonist brings his problems upon himself, most notably with getting a DUI in the epic, U2-meets-Nirvana arena-grunge anthem “Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales.”

Much of the record is Toledo (or his character) wallowing in sadness, which admittedly doesn’t sound like a great time. But like Toledo’s predecessor in Seattle angsty rock, Kurt Cobain, these songs of profound sadness are told via some incredibly catchy, singable (and moshable!) tunes. And Toledo’s vocals are perfect for this style of music, as his voice is both off-kilter and shredded, but still genuinely melodic when the song requires it.

Teens of Denial is an unforgettable experience, something that has to be listened to from start to finish. You might enjoy it more if you find its themes relatable, but the songwriting and ‘90s retro rock sounds are so incredible that almost anyone could find it irresistible if they’re willing to get angsty for an hour.

Best songs: “Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales,” “Destroyed By Hippie Powers”

#1: My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy by Kanye West (2010)

The first words sung in My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy are, “Can we get much higher?” The answer is no. This album is the peak not only of Kanye West’s confusing career; not only of the decade; but of the entire genre of hip-hop. 

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is one of those all-time classic untouchable albums that will soon be required listening for any budding music nerd, up there with Sgt. Pepper, Born To Run, Purple Rain, OK Computer and The Blueprint. To name it as my favorite album of the 2010s is a painfully obvious, and possibly even dull pick. Pitchfork, which gave the album an insanely rare 10/10 upon release, had it at #2 on their decade-end list — possibly to be cheeky, possibly as retribution for West’s recent heinous actions. 

Kanye West is an extremely flawed man, as we all know. I don’t need to recap his wrongdoings. But in some ways, his numerous mistakes just make Dark Twisted Fantasy even more resonant today. The album is partly about Kanye being a deeply troubled person, being aware of that, and yet being unable to change that no matter how hard he tries. He didn’t embrace his megalomaniacal tendencies like on Yeezus, but instead the album feels like an anguished cry for help. The three-minute autotune outro to the album’s breathtaking centerpiece, “Runaway,” literally sounds like that. And even the brag-rap bangers, like “Monster,” “So Appalled” and “Hell of a Life” have a menace to them.

Dark Twisted Fantasy is West at the full extent of his powers. Every single one of his strengths is amplified here. His lyrics, always a little corny and random, are entertainingly and quotably so. He brought out magical performances from guest stars, from Rick Ross’ smooth-as-hell verse on “Devil In A New Dress” to Nicki Minaj’s unhinged, career-best performance on “Monster.” There’s never been better production on a hip-hop album — impressive, considering the record jumps from style to style frequently.

But most importantly, Dark Twisted Fantasy is insanely ambitious. West had a vision, he exiled himself to Hawaii with his team, and he put his nose to the grindstone. It was when his music was the only thing he cared about — not his shoes, not the Kardashians, not Donald Trump. And that dedication was rewarded with a true masterpiece. West will never get any higher than this. And arguably, nor will music in the 21st century.

Best songs: “Runaway,” “Gorgeous”

#best albums of 2010s #rock #hip hop #pop #indie