#tw absue

[lifeofacityboy]

What a refreshing night had some fun with @white-wilted-rose... <picture attached>

why are you doing this?

to scare me?

it isnt working.

#ic #((its working #asshole saga #tw absue

[lioncssv]

"Fuck," Vitani breathed, sharp red nails digging into the closest tree as she stopped to catch her breath. She hated feeling like this. Hopeless. Out of control. She hated not knowing what the plan was, not even being able to come up with one because she was stuck in this godforsaken town. Everything was getting to her today, but the Rage Cage, her only semi-healthy coping mechanism, hadn't stopped her mind from racing. She'd only left with bloody knuckles, still itching to break something.

The tears that sprang in her eyes were an unwelcome surprise, unable to shake the thought of her mother's disappointment. She felt more angry at herself for wanting to cry than anything, angry that years of abuse hadn't been enough; the woman could still get to her from however far away. A hand on Vitani's shoulder snapped her out of it, sadness -- at least momentarily -- morphing right back into anger. "Do not fucking touch me," she all but growled, prying the fingers off in a swift motion without even a glance to see who it was.

@samhainmade

#tw absue #& chats. #& shona samhain.

[simgrump]

Gen One, Day Sixty-Six

tw abuse

Eris had made up her mind almost immediately after talking things through with her Mom. While she hadn’t given her the details, or even hinted at something this severe going on, the advice had still been sound. No matter what she was afraid of, one of her friends was in danger and it meant she couldn’t just sit on it and let it ride. He could hate her all he wanted for the rest of his life, but at least he’d have the rest of his life. 

Knocking on Allan’s door, she was pleasantly surprised when Allan came to the door instead of his father, but she was reminded why she was here when she saw all the bruises still lingering on his face. She couldn’t tell if there were more, but his eyes weren’t as swollen. 

“Hey,” he greeted her, almost sheepishly. “Look, I’m- I’m sorry about the other day...” 

“Can I come in?” she asked, not really acknowledging the apology and Allan nodded. 

“Yeah, Dad’s not home right now.”

It solidified in her the idea that she was doing the right thing, the fact that he felt obligated to tell her that. She stepped inside the trailer for the first time, taking a look around. There wasn’t a living room, just a small kitchenette with an old tv on the counter. A broken down washer and dryer in the hallway led to what she could only imagine was Allan’s father’s room, the door slightly ajar and showing an old lounge chair surrounded by beer bottles and plastic cups. Down the other side of the hall looked to be Allan’s room, his door off the hinges and just a mattress on the ground. She chewed her lip. God, he couldn’t even escape in his own home if he wanted to. 

“Uh, so...” Allan said, taking a seat at the counter. “How’d the presentation go?” 

She gave him a look, before crawling onto the stool next to him. “Not why I’m here.” 

Legacy Page

#tw absue #ts4 #ts4 legacy #ts4 story #sims 4 #legacy challenge #rrl #rrl01 #rrl01w10 #rrl01d66 #eris #allan

[bigmansbigbigblog]

we’re foojg to met with techno and phil. dream said I gotta never tell the m HOW I got my injuries or he’ll kill Tubzo. I still don’t know jow to feel about him. he’s awful and then he’s the best person ever. and then he’s the worst.

#tw threats #tw absue

[bonkybornes]

Hey as someone who takes a controlled substance and is an addict(not to the controlled substance, to something else that I’ve recovered from) please stop treating us badly. Nobody interacting with a controlled substance deserves to feel like some people make us feel.

TW BELOW THIS

(Idk how to do a below the cut thing on mobile)

I was trying to get my med dose changed the other day and my normal dr was out of the office, so when I messaged her and asked for a dose change(she asked me to check back in 2 weeks when she put me on the new med) I got a different dr that didn’t outright say that he thought I was selling them or some shit but gave off such an untrusting and defensive vibe that I was scared to call my dr today now that she’s back in office because I don’t want to deal with him accusing me of something that could affect my ability to get medical care I very much need.

He told me that I’d need to return the meds to the pharmacy and that they usually wait a month to change the script because that was what they prescribed me, I’d be glad to return the meds as I have no need for them and they have literally never waited a month. I’ve been on this type of controlled substance for probably three years at this point and I will need to be on it for the rest of my life if I want any sort of quality of life. They test me for drug abuse, I have come back clean every goddamn time.

I’ve lived life with chronic illnesses that present to other people as the fakest shit you’ve ever seen. Nervous system disorders, sleep disorders, connective tissue disorders, all of them have symptoms that look fake even to doctors. I’ve had multiple doctors excuse themselves to google my condition and they all come back with the same sheet filled with half accurate symptom lists that just skim the surface because nobody does research on it. I’ve had doctor after doctor tell me that I’m fine, I am not fucking fine. I live in a grey area of rare disease that entitles me to medication but nothing more. The government doesn’t even recognize my illness as something deserving of disability, even though it’s unsafe for me to drive because of it therefore impacting my ability to work.

It makes you feel insane, like you’re making it up, guilty over making something up when you didn’t, like you don’t deserve to call yourself chronically ill, depressed, anxious, angry, hopeless, like it’s your fault that people keep hurting you. Imagine having a branch stuck through your foot and everyone laughing at you and saying it’s a splinter.

Just because people abuse the system doesn’t mean you treat everyone with a bias. Even if your patient is abusing the system you don’t get to treat them like shit for having a problem. You are a medical professional, get your shit together, having a degree does not make you more important than us. You treat illness, addiction is an illness, addicts are fucking human and usually trying their best.

And to the addicts that are abusing the system, I hope you get the help you need. Try your best, please.

#tw america #tw American healthcare #addiction tw #tw drugs #tw absue #tw doctors #american healthcare #chronically ill #recovering addict #addiction #adhd #narcolepsy #cataplexy #ehlers danlos syndrome #mental health tw

[bts-0t-7]

Breaking Bonds | PJM | Chapter 1

Pair: Fae Jimin x Nymph reader 

Summary: Stripped from your own birthright, you suffer at the hands of your people. But after all, you couldn’t blame them. Having enough, you left in the middle of the snowy days but things didn’t go as you planned. Jimin, pulled by an unspeakable force, ventures out into the blizzard to find a body face-first on the ground. Your love and connection is forbidden - looked down upon. But the both of you are willing to try. However, where there are dreams there are prices to pay. How will the both of you push through? Can the both of you do it?

Genre: Strangers to lovers, fantasy au, Jimin is the CROWN PRINCE (I mean-), angst, kidnapping, smut

WC: 2932

The history of the fae and nymphs - elements that used to live together harmoniously. Like the primary and secondary elements of life and magic, the love between faes and nymphs was sacred - so sacred that only royals had the right to arrange a marriage between their children. 

But hundreds of centuries later, amongst the roots of enmity that were fueled by old grudges and misunderstandings, blew out of proportion and affected many citizens. 

The dark history between them that started was marked by blood in the ledger books. The first is The Great Rift. The conflicts between faes and nymphs are often referred to in this phrase as the powerful fae kingdom taking lands that were traditionally inhabited by the nymphs. Territorial dispute ignited much hostility and opposition. This therefore caused the lack of resources. Both mystical beings relied on the same natural elements to thrive from the magical essence in their forests. 

And within these battles of dominance grew something more than just territory but also magical supremacy. Each mystical being possesses its own unique and elemental powers. As the war grew to a larger scale, betrayals were not able to be prevented. A web of alliances and betrayals intermingle with the supernatural races while leading to mutual distrust. 

The history was marred by not one, not two, but five different wars at different times. Both sides inflicted much suffering on the other. The wars led to untold loss with neither willing to yield. The main lasting repercussions come in, especially in the revised laws that were enacted to prevent any form of interaction or alliance between fae and nymph. Love between individuals of two races was seen as a dangerous threat to the stability of their respective societies.

The history was written in blood and the older generation of both races have a hard time letting go of their prejudices. 

And here lies the snowstorm. 

In the middle of the forest, where the snow blasts down like little chilling knives slicing through your skin and a good three feet of snow -

Your kind were the ice nymphs, once the royal family, now stripped of your title and an outcast amongst your kind. Where the fae folk thrived, you ventured - away from the place you once called home, now a barren room barely the size of a storage room. The scars of the Cold War between the nymphs still lingered, leaving the kingdom in the easy grip of the Lyrin fae.

You kind - the ice nymphs - were rare to come about, each one of your veins flows with the power of winter. In the lores, your kind was told to have a beauty that was like a fragile kind of enchantment, with hair as pale as frost, and skin as delicate as the first snowfall. 

There were only a few times that you have looked in the mirror - countable with five fingers. After your family was stripped of their title, with you accordingly, life was never the same. Your people, with no place to go, lost trust and justice in you. 

Desperation drove her journey as she yearned to escape the dark shadow of your people’s fall that hung over her head like a knife over the bed. Even with the ice in your veins, that winter night, when the biting frost finally embraced you and hunger gnawed at your core, your strength failed. You had pushed yourself as far as you could but as the sun dipped below the horizon, your body could no longer hold you up, giving in to your exhaustion and malnutrition. 

Lying beneath the icy canopy, you were a fragile, half-dead being that is an easy hunt for food for predators living around the area. Your eyes swerved back, trying to calculate how far you might have to go back for shelter. But you didn’t know. 

You had walked without a direction, lost in the depths of the Lyrin forest. Frostbites numbed your limbs and your brain was moving slower from the exhuation. But there it was, amidst the unforgiving cold and darkness, you sensed a presence stirring. 

Your hazed hearing registered the crunch of footsteps in the snow as your blurry vision sent your brain to somebody standing next to you. Your eyes roll around until you have a clearer picture of who it is. A man with dark hair, brown eyes, and plush lips, dressed in regal attire with a crest of the fae kingdom. Lyrin was one of the biggest fae kingdoms and everybody knows their crests. After all, it was them who led the battles many years ago. It was them that inflicted the harm and loss on your people. It was them that had killed the ruling family back then. 

Your family. 

But he wasn’t the one who took the action. No, he was almost as old as you were and then, the both of you were barely kids. 

Prince Jimin, they called him. 

The golden sunlight. 

The crown of Lyrin weighed heavily on his shoulders. He knew the crowning ceremony would be soon, and this winter, he wanted to let go and be just a man until he could no longer. Once he takes over the throne from his father, his duty to serve his country is solely on his shoulders. There was much to do and many things he would like to change, but even as king, these little ideas - as his father likes to call them - had to go through the council. 

And Jimin knows that the old hags would never approve of it. 

It went beyond the revised edition of the old laws. 

To reconcile with the nymphs. 

Jiminhad ventured into the forest today, going around with no direction, guided purely by an inexplicable force. The kingdom, although a realm of enchantment, was deeply tainted by the darkness of its past. If all was silent enough, one could still hear the shrieks and cries of the souls. The darkness had bred a strong sense of hatred and fear between faes and nymphs. Their mating was now an old tale of forbidden love - a story buried deep in history. 

As he ventured further into the woods, he stumbled upon the nymph, your frail form half-buried in the snow. Your beauty, even in your weak state, took the breath right out of his lungs. He recognized you as a nymph with your small frame and pale, white hair. But it wasn’t completely white. It shone like the silvers of the moonlight when light reflected off it. 

But it was when he moved to pick you up that he saw your family’s sigil, now faded from royal to common, that told him - you were no ordinary nymph. As his arms went under the ice, you stirred slightly at the movement. As you opened her eyes, he was completely taken aback by the sheer blue shade of your pupils. 

Even with one foot into the Underworld, you looked ethereal to him. Jimin was snapped out of his daze when your frostbitten lips whispered a plea for help. In that moment, all history and hatred were forgotten. With fae swiftness, he scooped your fragile state - lighter than air - into his arms and covered you with his coat. 

Determined to save her, he summoned a warm breeze that melted the frost from your body and sealed you in a cocoon of warmth. Jimin only dared to start running faster to his horse when colour slowly came back to your lips. Ensuring that you were safely tucked in his arms, Jimin ran back to the castle, fighting against death who wanted to take the girl in his arms. 

As days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months. The little nymph’s life continued to hang in the balance and Jimin was a mess. He made every doctor attend to you, pacing around the bedroom day and night. He had caused an uproar in the kingdom when they found out that their crown prince had brought back a nymph - even more than this one that was from the late royal family - and was nursing her back to health. 

His father had threatened to strip him of his title if he did not abandon you. But he could not do it. So it started the feud between father and son, neither backing down. Jimin understood that his late grandfather and his father had a feud among the nymphs, had been the ones who executed them and had been the ones to fight at the front lines. They were the ones who brought Lyrin to what it is today - expanded. But as Jimin studied the history of both parties, he felt a certain connection to the nymphs. 

He did not want to be a ruler where their mystical counterparts would be afraid of them. He did not want to be a ruler like his father - ruling by fear from an iron fist. 

While doctors attended to you, Jimin watched them with sharp eyes, ensuring that none of the doctors would slip anything into your bloodstream. When nothing helped and your state was only getting worse, Jimin grew more and more anxious. He had sifted through books and hunted down the Old Scripts.

He learned that your name was L/N Y/N, the youngest of the last ruling family. Your father had been killed in the war, your mother led you and your siblings to safety but soon after passed due to the broken mate bond. Your siblings were either caught by his father’s cavalry or died of starvation, leaving only you. Your records were still in the kingdom, seemingly down till two days before he met you. That means that you were active in your own kingdom, at your people’s mercy until you left.

He looked back at where you lay still on the bed. 

And if he didn’t find you, you would have probably been dead by now. 

You woke up to the warmth and luxury of a place you had only dreamed of. Your body was still weak and you didn’t know what happened after passing out. Slowly rising to consciousness, you found yourself in a room of blue and white, drapes swinging in the wind. But you registered that the windows weren’t open and the room was cold like… ice?

Winter may be the season but no room was made to stay cold unless the elements of the magicians’ are meant to stay cold. 

Like you.

You curled your fingertips, feeling the soft, silky sheets beneath them. Trying to view the room from your current position - lying flat on the bed with a head that feels as heavy as bricks - you were taken aback by the sheer language it screams. 

Royalty. 

From the materials beneath your body to the furniture displayed, the decorations and architecture of the room, they were all beyond your imagination. You had not stepped into such a room since the battle. As you looked around, you realised the room was not originally made to stay cold. The fireplace seemed to be covered in a layer of dust but the decorations on them were clean. 

And although you knew that this was not your room, the calming temperature felt just like home. But you had not been in a room like this for a very long time. Distantly, you heard the opening and closing of a door. Your eyes immediately shot in the direction of the sound just to find a man already standing beside the bed. 

You were immediately broken out of your thoughts when you realised who it was and where exactly you were. You did not need to open the windows to know - you were on enemy territory. The rulers who killed your family. The rulers who brought demise onto your people. 

But looking at the man, clad in a loose tunic and pants, dark brown hair ruffled in all directions, you couldn’t find yourself to hate him. Even as you knew that he shared the purest blood with the murderer, you knew that he… was just like you. 

A family’s misdoings do not mean a child’s downfall. 

One’s choice does not equal the choice of another. 

You sink deeper into the sheets, holding in your sigh as you close your eyes. 

“Oh!” Your eyes shot open to see the man right in front of you. “Oh, you’re awake! Oh, finally! Wait - wait - let me call the physicians!”

Your brain couldn’t register his words fast enough before you saw his body move so fast it was just a blurry shade running down the stairs. Or maybe it was just your vision that was a little crusty. Rubbing your eyes as you yawned, you got up from the bed. You wouldn’t like to overstay your stay, especially not in a place where your head was on a bounty. 

You had left your kingdom only to be stuck in another. 

Sighing, you looked down to your feet -

Your arms shot to cover your already clothed body. Wait, wait, wait - 

Your hands patted yourself down. You - 

You were changed. 

Your plan to secretly escape was a fail the moment your ears picked up the sound of multiple heavy footsteps coming towards the room. The large doors were banged open, revealing a line of physicians behind the prince. 

“There! There! I told you, she is awake!”

Squinting at the all-to-cheerful sound that the prince makes, the palm of your hands pressed against your ears. 

“Careful, Prince. The Lady just woke up, her senses will be sensitive. You must lower your volume, Prince.”

Sheepish eyes shot at you, a guilty smile lifting the corners of his lips. The physicians fussed you back to bed and ran a thorough check of you, reporting back to the prince whenever they found something. Whether it was something healing or something that needs healing. Over the next few weeks, you realise how persistent and petty the prince can get. 

He would refuse you bites of food if you were to call him by his royal title. He would refuse to help you up from bed, just standing at the corner of the bedpost when you need the restroom, always claiming, “If you aren’t going to help yourself, you don’t get to do your business.”

But you also realise how much he has gone through. As the only child, he was meant to take the throne a couple of weeks before he found you. But he had caused a huge uprising and a big fight with his father. When you were sneaking out one of the nights, Jimin found you during his nightly duties of patrol and whisked you back to the room. 

Although you had left with the intention of Jimin’s life getting back to normal, he has increased your security so that you won’t have much of a chance to run away again. 

Keyword: much. 

You still had your chances and when that came, you took it. You had everything packed and ready, but this time, you left with a note at the bedside table, paired together with a magic-infused healing charm for the man. 

Safe to say, it was a bad idea. 

You knew it was the moment you penned down your goodbyes and gave him the charm. But you didn’t have much on you to give him for thanks other than the occasional swirls of magic in his office. 

Yes, it was a horrible idea - of course it was! You were caught - again. 

This time, Jimin didn’t just leave you back in the room. He was silent the whole time after he found you. The ride back, up the stairs, and even after the both of you entered the room. You saw the note on the bed. 

Jimin’s back was to you. 

“Why - Why would you think that?”

You were taken aback by the tears that streamed down his plum cheeks that you had teasingly squished the past few weeks. Looking down at the note, you felt a pang of… sorrow.

A sorrow that wasn’t yours. It shouldn’t be. “Because it is against the laws.”

“I do not care what the laws claim!”

“I am nobody, Prince. You have a duty to serve your kingdom and its people. I am a princess, stripped of my title, belonging to the very kingdom your father and his father killed through. The very princess that they couldn’t care less before killing off my father on the battlefield.” He couldn’t be yours. He was a prince, deserving of one better than a bond that was looked down upon. 

“My ancestors can go suck their dicks.”

You pulled a face at the crude language. You knew that he would be insisting - you found out that much about him - and you prepared yourself for a situation like this. But your resolve was already crumbling. 

“Prince -”

“Stop, stop! I am yours! Please - I beg of you - stop calling me by my title.”

You sucked in a deep breath. “You are more than your titles. But you are also the light of your people. The only heir to the throne and you will not shove it away just because we are bonded. I refuse.”

“I will lay the world down on your feet for you, please. Do not leave me.” His cries hurt you more than knives and ropes splitting your skin raw. 

“My world is not one you can provide.”

My world is you. 

But you wouldn’t dare say that as you turned your back to him and walked out of the castle, following your original plan in mind.

#btsfanfiction #bts #btsff #love #alternate universe #bts jimin #park jimin #jimin x reader #jiminxreader #jimin x oc #jimin x yn #jimin x y/n #jimin x you #tw #absue #harsh language #smut #jimin smut #fantasy au #park jimin x you #park jimin x reader #park jimin x y/n #jimin fluff #jimin imagine #jimin scenarios #jimin angst #bts au #bts angst #bts fluff #bts series

[alters-journal]

Idk, something really rubs me the wrong way about Miller crying to their mother and saying.

"...I'm your child and..."

And then her cutting them off with

"You're not a child."

Feels like being disowned a little? Input please.

-Brian

#vent tw #absue #verbal abuse #abusive parents #like yeah theyre an adult but they're YOUR child. like maam do you really not view them as your kid??? but then still pull the #'i birthed you' card like pick a struggle 😂

[knowledgevariabledarcy]

#abuse k1nk #absue #abuse tw #abuse survivor #abuse mention #abuse cw #Youtube

[veryfrickingqueer]

anyone has like parents who are just stupid and somehow not just stupid but also disrespectful and inaccepting and literally making your life fucking worse??

becuase i had to go to the psych ward last friday bc of failed suicide attempt and me seeking help with a teacher i trust and then sunday my parents had nothing better to do than telling me I just have it too good and too much stuff??  and also that apparently using my actual name (i use bc of genderqueer n stuff) is ONLY because i apparently want to anoy and tease them because apparently I know (no i don’t, this was never told me) that my governement name is apparently important to my mother due her grandmother having that name and she “always” wanted to name a child that (i doubt it, she already had other afab children before me) 

I’m sorry but like maybe i don’t know there are other reasons why i want people to accept me and call me by my actual name than annoying them??? like what the fuck the concept of wanting to be accepted and respected is not that hard what the fuck is wrong with my parents

#also apparently my parents absued me even more psychological than i knew #which the psychologist doctor told me #and then told my ´parents #and also the psychologist told them that they maybe should accept me more #and also why tf would i literally tell everyone not to call me by my government name just to annoy them #literally who would do somthing like this #it's not like i woke up choose this #i didn't even know that was an option #tw suicide #tw queerphobia #tw transphobia

[lifeofacityboy]

You're a monster. But on the plus side. You've got her. She'll do what you want now.

little blood bound toy. And it wasn't really that bad was it?

she doesn't deseve this

fuck she doesnt deserve any of this

i hurt her in the worst ways.

i should have died on the street.

#ic #tw rape #tw suicidal ideation #tw absue

[csaventing]

Tw Idk if this is okay to vent here if not you can delete and tw for mention of (non-sexual) animal abuse. All my sexual abusers were 18 and younger and it all happened when I was 18 and younger. Like I had a romantic relationship as a teenager that involved abuse I was 17 he was 18, 2 boys when I was little kept forcibly touching me as I tried to stop them and also made me watch them hurt animals which I just dissociated from most the time, my brother forcibly raped me when we were children on multiple occasions and emotionally abused me, 2 of my cousins also one who was 7 years older and the other was a decade older both coerced me into sex as a child and all I remember was crying cos it was painful and uncomfortable and hiding or covering my face. And I felt bad cos they had bad childhoods and were lonely teenagers who probably got into porn too young. A girl I grew up with psychologically, sexually and emotionally abused me and the adults around us helped/enabled her with it and would scream at me for not letting her hurt me. All I’m capable of is feeling a “sexual attraction” towards them. I literally cannot feel sexual attraction towards anyone I meet I don’t even know if I’m ace-spec or not, I can’t get off unless I think of my brother, cousins, that girl, or those boys. I literally cannot become lubricated unless I fantasize about them.

How could so many children and teenagers do that? How many cases of CSA are actually minors perpetrating cos that number must be fucking high.

One of them apologized, another looked sorry but didn’t say anything I should’ve let him cos I think he would’ve, one of them said nothing ever happened and I’m making it the fuck up, another used darvo on me, and another said he was entitled to hurting me cos he hates women, and the other said he did do it but doesn’t care and wants to “have sex” some more cos I’m “so sexy” and when he grabbed my hips and pushed it into his not too long ago (I’m 23) I became immediately lubricated and so turned on I stood frozen for god knows idk maybe like 10 seconds? And I felt I almost climaxed. How?? Why?? Same thing with that girl I grew up with who used darvo on me she also lubricated me so quick by getting physically close to me… Why can’t I do that with the love of my life instead? Does that mean I absued them since my body seemingly liked it? Or is it just a trauma arousal response? Sorry this was long you can ignore.

None of that is your fault and none of it should ever have happened.

Regarding the arousal I would definitely think it is a trauma arousal response. It isn’t uncommon for people who have experienced CSA to think of previous abusers when getting off either. You are not alone.

#tw csa #csa vent #survivor #tw cocsa #trauma vent

[coercivecontrolrecovery]

What I do, How & Why I do it

TW: Domestic Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Coercive Control

I'm indebted to the resources of women who have extensively researched how to protect each other and help each other escape situations like the one my wife is in with me. They are discounted, misrepresented, belittled, abused in return and they continue to put in this work that men will not. None of this is original thought. This is all me placing myself amongst the work of others - especially Kate Amber MSc. and her work here -https://endcoercivecontrolusa.com/blog

Here's how I perpetrate: I am an abuser who does not have a personality disorder, though I may share some traits (lack of empathy, explosive reactions). I suspect I largely operate from a societally engrained beliefe about my dominance as being right and correct (fuck the patriarchy). There is internalised sexism at play. My abuse is to keep my partner in a state of confusion, which keeps them in line. For example, I will say one thing then do another and say they didn't give me the right instruction. I will not act abusively around other people, just my intimate partner. Perhaps this has come from living inside an abusive family system - truthfully I've never seen a healthy relationship and I've never learned respectful ways to treat people. For years I thought this expunged me, because I didn't necessarily understand why I was doing was wrong. BUT my wife has told me repeatedly to stop, and I don't. And I accept that this is intentional because I'm not behaving any differently to someone who is knowingly abusive. My behavior is on purpose becuse I am selfishly benefitting from hurting my wife. If I wasn't benefitting, I would have stopped by now. And I am a very good liar - that includes convincing my wife that I don't mean to hurt her. Which as just covered, if I'm willfully ignorant that's not helpful or true. I will exploit claims about my mental illness/prior victimisation and convince my wife or therapists that I am in some sort of denial. I am very effective at this. And my wife is empathetic, patient and conscientious. This makes it easier for me to gain the upper hand.

Healthy and compassionate human beings give other people the benefit of the doubt because they don’t like to feel like they are being cruel or critical of others. This plays into my advantage. All I need to do is to convince my wife that I am being judged to harshly by her, and then she will back down and blame herself. If she ever reads this - DON’T FALL FOR THIS, AND DEMAND I GET HELP. I have spent so long not putting in the effort to keep her safe. I am 100% responsible for her harm when I'm hurting her, whether I intend to or not. She deserves to live with love, freedom, joy and respect. I can stop absuing her to work on this as well - if I don't do that then I'm lying to myself (and holding myself accountable to this.

There's a lot more to go into specifics here. This is where I'm at currently in my learning. Follow the link above, look through the amazing work done by professionals in the space and accept what they say. Resisting it is only lying to yourself and keeping you from moving forward.

#Domestic Abuse #Emotional Abuse #Coercive Control

[bigmansbigbigblog]

Damn that sucks. If you don't want to, why don't you Not do it?

dream will be disappointed. and when he gets Dispointed his axe comes out. I do NOT want to lose my other finger ;(

#tw absue #tw torture #tw mutilation

[lilypads17]

just got fucking victim blamed for calling narc abuse what it is feeling like shit

#tw absue #narcissistic abuse

[localcryptids]

This is a vent post, I've tried journaling about it and it didnt help much and I cant see my therapist for another week I am also on mobile and dont know how to do the keep reading thing so here you go read if you want theres about 200 of you but idk how many are active so yeah this is about relationship issues and self perception

I met this guy and we hit it off and I thought we were really good friends and I didnt see any thing wrong with how he frequently mentioned how much he wanted to cuddle with me or give my forehead a kiss because that's what friends do right? That's what I do with my friends. It was about two years before I cuddled on the couch during a movie with one of my friends and the other friends it took us a while to get to that level of platonic intimacy and I've only known this guy for a month but we talk all the time so it's fine right? He calls me hot and beautiful and tells me how much he likes talking to me. He tells me about his life and paints himself as a trodden down hero. And I fall. I fall despite knowing I'm a lesbian. I fall despite swearing I'm not ready for a relationship. I trust quickly despite knowing that's how you get hurt. I tell myself I know the red flags, I've done this before, you all know I've done this before if you've been here a long time. I break my own rules I make exceptions because hes in therapy and shows he can grow as a person and I shouldn't hold others to such a high standard. I break the rules I made to protect myself and when I realize I panic. I'm in a relationship with this man and its moving fast and I dont want to get hurt again and I'm scared because I dont want to go through this again I thought i could tell but, that's the thing, some people are really good at hiding their intentions. I dont think his intentions are ill but hes making me not me. Hes making me into a version of myself I was and not who I am now. Who I was was an unhealthy broken person completely dependent on one person. Who I am now is still broken but the pieces have been put back together with love and care. Why can i feel those pieces breaking off again? I thought he was nice but he only wanted me for my body and I was scared he would leave so i gave it to him. Hes using me as his manic pixie dream girl like others have done in the past and I wish people wouldnt use me like an object to fix their problems. I'm not an object. I think. Am I? I wish I would stop falling for the trick. The trick is designed for you to not see it, I know this isnt my fault but I just want a friend who befriended me for me and not because they wanted to fuck me and for me to ultimately let them because I dont want to be alone. I wish I could stop this. I am growing though. I recognized the signs quicker this time. I know I will recognize them quicker in the future. I know I will get better. I know getting better isnt linear. I cant help but think that maybe it's just my ptsd acting up. Maybe he is this nice guy that I feel safe around. But if he really is, why am I so scared hes not? Why is he changing me to fit what he wants? Why is he giving me love and then dropping something traumatic he experienced and needed to get off of his chest after? I told him I didnt want to be his therapist. Does he really have a therapist? Did he just tell me that to get me to love him? Do I love him or do I love the idea of not being alone? I dont know, I cant tell, my head is upside down and I cant find a way out. Escapes take time and I just need to put the walls he took down back up until I can. I need to make him think I am falling for it. Does this make me bad? No, I'm doing this to survive. I think. I cant tell. Reality is blurry. I can't tell.

#abusive relationship tw #vent post #abuse tw #tw absue #tw rape #it was alluded to #tw ptsd #tw dissociation #tw anxiety #tw paranoia

[bonkybornes]

Let's play a game called: if I tell my therapist about some of the things my parents say, will she call CPS, or just bring them in for therapy?

(tone: sarcastic)

(tagging abuse bc I know this could trigger some people, and ik my parents aren't great but also that they're trying their best bc they were both raised by abusive/manipulative/neglectful parents and they really just need a lot of therapy(but also I'm setting boundaries for myself dw))

#tw absue #emotional manipulation #they try #they were both raised by abusive assholes #we're working on it #tw child abuse #tw cps