#unless i'm given specifics and even then sometimes. it's the adhd

[azems-familiar]

any thoughts on Cal's embracing the darkness? specifically...darkside!cal/bode.....👀

oh BOY do i have thoughts, actually. for both of these. i'm actually currently working on a fic (sitting at a little over 5k and probably going to be ~10k when it's done) which goes AU on Nova Garon and involves Cal fighting Bode there.

thoughts on Cal falling in general: yes, absolutely, i am so here for it, i love corruption arcs and i feel like this one is really well-built. from the beginning of the game we see how he's been struggling, how he's gotten darker and darker over the gap - he no longer reaches out to Ninth Sister (that it's time to set you free line right before he murders the shit out of her made me GASP), he's been working with Saw (who we know to use a lot of unsavory methods to the point that it got him disowned from the greater rebel alliance), he's been alone (which he never handles well At All). he consistently chooses to fight even when he shouldn't, he's not letting go of anything, he's gotten desperate. it makes sense. to me, Cal is the kind of person who pretends he's fine until he absolutely cannot anymore, whether that's hiding injuries or willfully refusing to realize he can't cope with things emotionally, and i feel like that's fairly well supported by the fact that the rest of the found family has each gone their own ways because they needed to make strides forward for themselves they couldn't while they were with him, no matter how much they love him, and because they can't help him until/unless he wants to be helped.

Cal also doesn't handle betrayal well, on top of Cere's death being the second time he's lost a master. to me, it's no surprise that he completely snaps on Jedha, and i think his fall is reinforced by a) the massacre on Nova Garon b) the fact that he outright refuses to listen to/understand Bode. Cal i think has a very black and white worldview due to his trauma and his youth in which he sees the Empire as a monolith and puts the crimes of the Empire onto every single person who serves it, and he struggles to understand why people would give in rather than choose to fight. i think we spend the game with him watching him run more and more on anger against the Empire as well as his desperation for Tanalorr, and that anger becomes more and more selfish until we get the snap on Jedha. honestly i think with the way the early game was written, even if Cere hadn't died, he would've still fallen, just possibly not when he did. it's been building up to that.

(i also love redemption arcs, i will say, but for a truly satisfying redemption arc you have to hit rock bottom first, and i want to push Cal there.)

in terms of fallen!Cal/Bode - also very much for this. part of this is just because i think the two of them killing people as fallen Jedi together is attractive and also what they deserve <3 but honestly narratively i think it just... works. mostly we'd just need Cal to work through his anger at the betrayal and actually properly understand why Bode did what he did (which is what i'm working on in the oneshot i'm writing), and to find a solution for everything that assuages Bode's paranoia. i do also think that with time, Bode could be convinced to return to fighting the Empire, especially if he knew Kata would be safe while he did it, but he's been through a lot and he's not there yet. but it's very clear that he doesn't like the Empire (only working with the ISB because he sees it as the only way to keep Kata safe), and i think it's also quite clear that he cares a great deal about Cal and didn't want to betray him at the point he did, but that he saw it as a choice between Cal's safety and Kata's safety and the latter had to be his highest priority. i absolutely don't think he'd find fallen!Cal any kind of turn-off, let's be real here, and honestly it's a dynamic i want to explore more of, maybe in AUs or something? i'm tossing around an inquisitor!Bode enemies to lovers au concept that might eventually turn into a fic at some point...

i may have gone slightly off topic here. anyway my thoughts on these are Yes, Yes, and More Yes, also i will go into an explanation of why i think Cal is actually fallen and not just struggling if people want. and also my final thought is that the Dagan parallel in this game is actually Cal and i will expand on this if asked to

#asked and answered #jedi survivor #cal kestis #bode akuna #spyscrapper #i got this ask and was like GREAT time to ramble #hopefully this is not too long and comes close to answering you. unfortunately i tend to wander off #unless i'm given specifics and even then sometimes. it's the adhd

[copperbadge]

Hi Sam, how did you come to the conclusion you should be tested for neurodivergence? I've been reading a lot of Temple Grandin (Visual Thinking is fantastic) and see so much of myself in her books. But, I, too, am, let's just say well into adulthood, and I don't know if my life would change that much with a diagnosis. The only thing I can think of doing with a diagnosis is telling my siblings and childhood bullies that they picked on someone who had a reason for being "weird." But it doesn't change anything. Beyond the medication, did you find any solace? Thank you for sharing your journey.

I was just thinking I should do a post about this....

I don't recall the specifics and have never been able to find the post again, but sometime prior to 2019 I made a joke about having a short attention span, and someone said something like "Oh, did you finally get a diagnosis?" and I said haha no, I don't have ADHD, and a bunch of readers went, "Uh, you very clearly do." Some of them added that they thought I knew and was just being discreet about it. (As if I have ever been discreet about anything in my life.)

So I figured, okay, probably there's some level of neurodivergence there, given that my mother and siblings all have various diagnoses, and my father was clearly autistic. (Knowing what we know now about how ADHD can mask as other mental illnesses, there's a strong chance this comes from my maternal grandmother, who was the person in the family I was most like when she was alive.) I tried a couple of times to get evaluated and always had either slow or nonexistent responses from the clinics I reached out to, so I stopped trying. I had a ton of coping mechanisms in place and was in a good spot in my life, so I thought honestly, what would it change?

But by the end of 2021, while I was still in a pretty good financial place, and my career was doing well, I could tell that if things kept up as they were I was going to tank my job purely through being unable to get through a day doing productive work the way I used to.

I thought, well, if this is ADHD and it's getting worse because the whole fucking world is on fire, I have two options: I can assume I have it and just do the reading and figure shit out on my own, or I can get evaluated, get professional advice, and possibly get medicated. That seemed like the best return on investment, so that's what I worked on. My goal was primarily medication, because I didn't see myself being able to change much else about my situation on my own. And, truthfully, medication has been the biggest change -- I actually have an essay about that queued for the anniversary of my starting Adderall. But while it hasn't been a massive life-altering world-shattering change, all of this was worth it purely for the medication.

Uh, momentary sidebar in my memoir: there are downsides to having a diagnosed disability -- discrimination, legal barriers to certain things like holding government jobs or adopting, etc. Those have to be weighed when you're considering evaluation. If you think you may have autism, there's not necessarily an advantage to having a formal diagnosis unless you need accommodations; if you think you may have ADHD, the huge advantage is access to medication, which doesn't exist for autism as far as I'm aware. So your particular flavor of neurodivergence might dictate whether you get a diagnosis, or whether you just start operating on the assumption you have it. Both are valid, I think, it really depends on what's going on in your life and what you want to change.

Anyway, I have been doing other research, reading journal articles and pop psychology and talking to people, and that's been good, but even if I had none of that, the medication has been so helpful in getting me back on an even keel and then making life even better.

This sounds kind of weird to say but I'm not generally someone who needs a lot of solace. There is some relief in knowing that at least some of my fuckups in life weren't something I could have prevented by simply having more strength of character or working harder, and that's nice, but it's something I could have had without a formal diagnosis -- just like you could simply tell your siblings and bullies you have a diagnosis. (Being real, I doubt they'd care; bullies gonna bully whether you had a reason to be weird or not, and none of that would have been your fault regardless of your neurology. But it's all very situational, as I'm sure you know.) I wasn't badly bullied as a kid and there's nobody really to...tell, in the sense you're thinking of. But I didn't get into it for emotional solace; I got into it to fix a life that was, albeit extremely slowly, starting to fall apart. So if you're someone, as most people are, who derives emotional satisfaction or catharsis from having the diagnosis, I think it probably would be pretty helpful. But even if you aren't, like me, if you can get medication or accomodations, I think it's worth it.

#sam has adhd

[c0l0re]

Welcome, dear traveler!

Hello there! You can just call me Colore. I'm a mutifandom artist and I am needlessly passionate about a bunch of random stuff :)

I'm a bigender, biromantic and asexual boychick, and I'm a professionally diagnosed DID system. I'm also autistic and have ADHD, so I will use terms like "hyperfixation" and "special interest" sometimes

I do not take commissions, but art requests are always welcome! I may not always do them, but I'm 100% okay with receiving them

If you would like me to add trigger/content warning tags on my posts for specific things that I don't usually tag for, don't be afraid to ask

I also have a Redbubble shop!

If you do not support Palestine or are "neutral" on the subject, get off my blog. You are not welcome here

If you are an LGBTQ+ exclusionist of any kind, you can also get off my blog. You are not welcome here, either

Tagging system:

Trigger/Content warnings: tw/cw [thing]

Art: colore draws

Text posts: colore speaks

Asks: colore asks

OC posts: colore ocs

System posts: colore sys

Friend related posts: deranged queer crew/the fuck elias crew

Current main interests:

Undertale/Deltarune

Yume Nikki

OFF

.flow

The Magnus Archives

Do's and Don'ts:

Do not repost my art. I am not okay with that, even if credit is given

Using my art for PFPs, header images, etc, is completely okay as long as proper credit is given

Do not trace or edit my art

Do not ask personal/invasive questions. This is mainly referring to questions regarding my DID, but this also applies just in general

Do not DM me to chat unless we are already mutuals. That being said, asks are 100% okay and encouraged

@'ing me in posts is also 100% okay, even if we're not mutuals. Go nuts

Do not send NSFW or suggestive asks to me. It's weird and uncomfortable, just don't do that

Thank you for reading! I hope you have a lovely day/night <3

#pinned intro #colore speaks #queer artist #disabled artist #fanartist #multifandom artist #artists on tumblr

[the-final-sif]

FAQ

“Who are you?”

I’m Sif (she/her/they/them)! I’m a writer, an artist, and I will literally never stop talking. I have an African gray named Cecil, and I love him very much.

“Where can I find you?”

Here on Tumblr, On A03 as Rosae or Sif  - Or on the dreblr discord server

Discord is the fastest way to get in contact with me, asks on tumblr can get eaten and DMs on tumblr are weird for me. I'm not active on any other platforms

“When will x/y/z update?”

I don’t know. Don’t ask me or leave comments pestering me about updating things. I have adhd, and fanfiction is a hobby that I do for myself, so I work on things as I’m able to. My focus is fickle and I tend to jump from project to project, because that’s how I have fun. When it comes to my hobbies, me having fun is the whole reason I do them. Pestering me just makes me want to do it even less. Seriously.

“Can I send you asks about x/y/z? Do you mind talking about x/y/z?”

I'm not going to be upset about any ask sent in as long as it's in good faith, but that doesn't mean I'll answer every ask I get. If I don't answer an ask, it means that I wasn't sure on an answer, I'd answered the question before, or I just didn't feel like it. Odds are it's nothing personal, if I have an issue with someone or something, then I block.

That all being said, I don't answer questions asking for personal information of any kind unless it's something I've publicly discussed. I also prefer that people do not use tone indicators in asks, or if you must, please use full words and not acronyms. I'm pretty good at reading tone in text to begin with, and I run under the assumption most asks are in good faith.

“Can I use your idea/headcanon/etc in my fic/art/etc?”

Yes! People are always welcome to use my ideas/headcanons/etc with credit. You can create stuff set in my AU/make your own takes on them. All I ask is that you don’t copy my stuff word for word (ie reposting), and give credit if heavily referencing my works. You do not need to ask my permission to use my stuff as inspiration, but if you do create something 100% feel free to tag me/send it to me! I love seeing this stuff!

“Can I repost your fic/artwork/headcanon/etc?”

Probably not. I’m okay with my chat posts and non-fictional PSAs/advice posts being reposted to other platforms (with credit). For anything else, I do not allow reposting unless you ask me first (that being said, I do sometimes give permission when asked, it just depends on the post and platform you want to repost on). Translations and Podfics are absolutely fine though!

“Will you tag (specific trigger) or (spoilers)”

Probably not, sorry! I’d like to say that I could, and I try to tag major triggers & spoilers when I remember to, but again, ADHD means I tend to be pretty scattered brained and my tagging is pretty inconsistent as a result. I don’t want to promise to tag stuff when I know I’ll probably forget at some point.

“Do you take requests/commissions/art trades/do collabs/have a ko-fi?”

I do not take formal requests or requests for unrelated fandoms/characters/etc. I love talking with people and discussing ideas, but that’s entirely on my own terms. You can still always ask me about my AUs or offer specific ideas, but if I decide to write anything for it is all up to me.

I am not currently taking commissions, but I do take them every so often when the mood strikes. I already work to support myself, and as I’ve said before, fandom is a hobby for me, so I prefer to spend that time creating things at my own pace. Since I get people asking about it, I do have a ko-fi but please don’t feel obligated to send me anything.

Art/fic trades and/or collabs are a solid maybe at any given time, depending on what I have on my plate. Hit me up on discord if you want to talk about it.

#pinned post #sif speaks #faq #new pinned post to replace the old one since it's been awhile since I updated this

[burnishedvictory]

I don’t follow you I just stumble across this repost but what’s the point of leaving comments/feedback if 99% of the time they never get a reply and/or the author ends up ghosting the story 💀 nobody forces anyone to put out the work they do but most of the time the energy that y’all want is mostly never returned.

Hi Anon!

I assume this is in response to my reblog of the post asking people to leave their comments on AO3. (For anyone who missed it, it's here: https://www.tumblr.com/burnishedvictory/739351436811534336)

Several things:

The point of leaving comments/feedback is to tell the author you liked whatever it was you just read. The energy you're returning is the work they put into writing the fic you just read. If the author replies, that's a bonus, but not something I personally ever expect.

Some things to know about fics where the author doesn't reply to comments regularly:

There's about a 99% chance that the author read your comment and loved it. I don't know of any authors who don't love comments.

(Specifically, nice comments. Given that you felt it was okay to anonymously message someone you don't even follow such a blunt message, I feel the need to clarify this. No one wants critique, unless they've specifically asked for it. We do this for fun. If you don't like a fic, the back button is right there. Also, don't ask the author if/when they're going to finish an unfinished story. That annoys a lot of writers. (Not me, personally, but I have many writer friends who it really really annoys.))

Back to discussing fics where the author doesn't reply to comments! In my case, I have ADHD. For whatever reason, writing fic is something that my ADHD lets me do easily, but replying to comments is not. I would love to reply and still intend to, but then another day passes when I haven't actually done it. But my lack of replies doesn't mean I don't cherish each and every comment I get. I keep them in a separate folder and reread them regularly. I'd like to do that with all the comments I get, including not on AO3, but I am just not that organized (see: ADHD), so those comments get lost (which is exactly the point the post you're referring to was making).

I'm also chronically ill, and only have so much functioning time in my day. Other people work full time jobs, raise kids, etc. It becomes a question of priorities - do you want us to work on fics, or reply to comments? Sometimes we can't do both.

Finally, if you read the post you're referencing carefully, it's asking for people who are already leaving feedback in some way to (also) leave it as an AO3 comment. If you're leaving praise in a tag or a bookmark, throw it into a comment on the fic! If you're chatting about a fic positively with your friends, copy and paste the chat into the AO3 comments. (I'll even clarify this one - personally, if people private messaged me a chat like that, I'd be over the moon. I know there are privacy concerns with a chat like that, so you might not want to comment on AO3 with that specific thing. Very fair! But, like I said above, a chat sent to me like this would probably vanish into my memory, as I'm not organized enough to add it to my comments folder. It would be a very good memory, but not easily convenient to reread.)

For you, dear anon, if getting a response and the author finishing the story is that important to you, then I recommend only commenting on completed fics where the author replies regularly. No one forces you to comment, even on fics that you enjoyed that the author spent hours and hours working on. They are free for your enjoyment.

But consider how much energy you're bringing to the table to encourage the authors whose fics you love. Maybe your comment will encourage the author to open the file on a story that's been back burnered. Or if you tell an author about a specific part you loved, maybe that thing will show up in future fics.

Or, maybe, there will never be any indication that the writer even read your comment. But in that case, maybe the writer will get your comment and smile. Maybe they'll tell their friends and family about the lovely comment they got. Maybe your comment will make their day. And maybe you'll never get specifically rewarded for your comment, but you will put positive energy into the world, and who knows where that will lead.

#ask #AO3 #commenting etiquette

[threenorth]

Today I met with the crisis team. Just to explain everything that's going on and they said they would help try pull things together, I don't really understand what they do as such because mental health in New Zealand is such a joke... Honestly.. It's such a fucking joke.

Like I couldn't call the crisis line when I was in crisis because I had to be referred or self referral and go through the process now l and vast couldn't use their help when I needed it, and they are checking on me that I'm doing ok now we're see if any triggers come up while I try do my common life tasks...work...shopping... Y'know.

My pyschtrist said he will try see me the 27th.

Unless there's any cancellations to see him sooner, really hoping this is the one he's like we're gonna try you on this because I really need quiten out my brain, and it's been good the past few days not thinking as much.

I've found my temporary hold over drugs helpful to me keeping me less axouis, but sometimes very zombie mode I also need to call back the medical maple nurse because I was going to try order some medical eatibles but need a letter incase of drug tests, get my photo taken for a medical card, when she last called I was in a pretty bad mental state as I was still trying to get the right doesage of lorzopam dialed in to ask how long the script lasts for given its been awhile and I've had some bills seeing three professionals at $165 and $210x3 and what ever my insurance is taking, in the past month and now I'm on one month part time reduced hours salary...

But who knows my psych might be cool and we can do pharmacogenomics-pgx, that might be interesting if we can get pre approval for both dna tests that I think could help me long term.

Such as I may just always have a vitamin b defenince as part of being autisc and getting a script once a month for it and some other things.

My psychologist is away for two weeks and is a behavioural? Psychologist and autism new Zealand says that might not be for the best approach, we might have to try invesgate a new one? Because there's a few but hard to get autism specific psychologists.

I can't tell if it was water weight because I'm taking creatine, the ammions or that I'm eating better but I gained 7lbs were see small steps.

Man it's so hard to keep everyone happy, hahahaha this thing called self management.

It feels so exhausting trying to give mental energy to somethings, maybe it's just fatigue from thinking so much for the past awhile.

And how I include new things like having my mass gainer between meals 2 or 3 times a day.

Pills before I eat, pills after I eat something.

Drinking my alomuld milk 3 of them each week, I gotta drink some tomorrow.

Yeeeesh, it's only going to be harder if my adhd drugs become a appattite suppressant.

At least there's smoovies... I need to go to the library and see if I can find any good ones or try snag some from revies kitchen.

Then becaause I'm a grog in the morning with a ship sleep schedule, that I needed to fix after dinner I need to start making my breakfast and lunch for the next day possibly and makeing overnight oats for the morning.

I also have to try doing more protein combings it's like peanut toast and pumpkin seeds.

Also investigating going to the India spice store and picking up letlis and maybe dahl?

My dietain says eating more beans, chickpeas like huymss and letials, there is lental pasta whitch helps, and I don't even know if the amount of lentil pasta I had was my daily amount of protein.

I see my ent on the 30th I think it's all clear and it feels good being able to actually breathe better now then before, but in turn soon to return back to my breathing physio and pushing though that barrier, I should also order from Ali express an oximitor to know if it's my asmtha or my axenity picking up as it's definitely hard to fell as a panic attack it's just like asthma attack.

Well that's about it for today, work sucks I have to make a power point for the new interns who are coming in during the winter break? Or something I to be honest wasn't really paying attention because I'm mentally exhausted.

Oh and it's fucking Monday weeeee...

Small steps, almost back in gear.

[capfalcon]

study/planning methods that work for me w ADHD

i know that neurotypicals will often tell us that we simply need to plan/study better and that's kind of bullshit but i do have methods that help me quite a bit and idk. i thought I'd share

general planning: make 2 lists. one list is everything you need to do in a week. (if you have 2 seperate categories, like home vs school stuff or family vs school or work or whatever, then make 2). but this is the Big stuff. so like "go grocery shopping" or "finish this paper" or "send this email" or "apply to this job." i find it very very helpful to do this on a post it with checkboxes. but a phone works too, the app keep from google is great for this.

then make a second list. this is everything you need to do TODAY. smaller things, like "do the dishes, take out the trash." and like i said before, if you put "apply to this job" on your weekly list, then you put "write resume" on your daily list.

this is school specific, but in a journal/book i have a page called "long term due dates." this is for, as it suggests, long term due dates. anything that im given lots of time for, i will put in here. this is just so you Know it's coming up.

i really cannot emphasize how much making a list helps. so much of adhd struggles is getting overwhelmed and not knowing where to start, and then just...never starting. make a list. make as many as you need. i promise, i promise it helps.

and this is a very important one: give yourself way more fucking time than you need. stop expecting yourself to work the way you do when you are Peaking. when im on, i can write a paper in an hour. when im not, it takes me days. always, always, always, plan for the days. in my head, i basically move every deadline up 2 days. if it's due sunday, i want it done friday.

this one is less a tip and more personal preference, but i literally hate doing any work on weekends, and i refuse to, so i act like weekends are sacred. i don't go "i can do that on sunday" or "I'll finish it on saturday." i stick to the work-week. i will plan around a weekend, and unless it's absolutely necessary, i won't do work on the weekends. if i need to, then i plan days where i don't have things to do or turn in.

i know nt always say we should plan better or manage our time better, and i get how this can seem like that advice, but i think the main difference is the kindness and leeway you have to allow yourself. i don't get mad at myself for not being able to do something under a certain time limit, i don't get frustrated for taking a while to do something or whatever. you have to give yourself kindness, because nt's wont.

for paper writing: Do An Outline.

i generally follow this format: i research my topic. i copy paste relevant info into a google doc. whole paragraphs, sometimes. i leave the tabs open, if they're useful, or i paste the links into a google doc.

then i write a thesis. then i decide what my sections will be about. if it's a 7 paragraph paper, i have my paragraphs decided on. if I'm unsure, i might even write a thesis for everyt single paragraph. if it's a 10 page paper, i make sure i know what i wanna say within each page, and what topics i want to cover. i do all of this, then i rework my thesis. by that point, you HAVE your paper. you just need to write it. and when you have 1. your sources and knowledge plus a 2. format, it's a lot easier than jumping right in and trying to write and research as you go. (trust me, i write a lot of fucking papers.)

for test taking:

i used to spend my free time willingly studying 10 subjects so that i could take tests also in my free time for fun. if that doesn't tell u something about me, idk what will.

when you're studying for tests! highlighters. i love highlighters. i love them i love them i love them. highlight ur heart out. annotate your heart out. print shit out and write all over it. and then once you have, give it to someone and ask them to ask you about it. trust me, this will help. the human brain is not a computer. we do not input info the same way. we form associations. when it comes to facts, not understanding, you can't expect your brain to be a copier. it needs to form an association. and talking with someone, going over something, trying to remember, failing, then going over it again, will absolutely help.

if it is a specific kind of test (SAT, AP, ACT, etc etc) and you Know what kind of questions they're gonna ask, focus on the questions themselves, as well as the material. often, understanding a question will naturally lead you to an answer. the way questions are phrased, the type of question tests have, the way past questions have been written, your brain will make note of that, and it'll make it easier. think of it as like when you're driving somewhere/trying to get somewhere, your brain is taking notes of the landmarks you pass. when you take the actual test, your brain will see "oh, I've seen a question similar to this, or oh, i know where this is going," and provide examples for what you've seen.

i think the main thing is you have to give yourself a chance to succeed. forget what other people do, or forget how other people study, or what they suggest. a therapist told me that if you're running into a wall all the time, you don't have to keep running into it. if something doesn't work, don't keep doing it.

and that sounds kind of stupidly simple, but it's like: if you keep being late on deadlines, then whatever you're doing, don't do that. go about your process differently. and ik it sounds so much easier than it actually is, but.

for example, (i write a lot of fucking papers). i will have a friend, usually @bruciewayne talk to me as i write. ill do 100 words, and ill talk to her for 10 minutes, then she yells at me to go do another 100. then I'll come back. it's unconventional, but it works for me. you could do 50, or 200, or 150, or whatever. whatever works. i once wrote an entire paper on a phone call with a friend. i was on my way to the library when he called me and i couldn't talk in the library, so i just sat outside on a bench and he talked while i wrote. if doing an outline isn't your thing, call a friend and talk about it. or talk with a TA, or a professor, or a tree, or whatever. most people's thoughts aren't concise, finished products, and ADHD ppl less so. talk. it's what most of us are good at. write, scribble, do whatever.

like i said, you have to give yourself a chance. doing what works for everyone else doesn't work for me. so i don't do it. and if something isn't working, i don't do it. I'll ask a friend to look it over. I'll ask someone for advice. I'll take a shower and look at it again. I'll eat some food and come back to it. I'll change my approach. i give myself time to fuck up.

the academic world isn't really built for us. you have to do what you have to do in order to make it work for You. anyway these are just habits/mindsets/things i do, that help. hope they help at least one person, too.

#adhd tag #adhd tips #jordan talks #sorry this is so long

[demonboidies]

𝓼𝓲𝓬𝓴𝓵𝔂 - 𝓽𝓸 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀

pt. 3

word count: 1, 802

●WARNING: mention of several mental illnesses (eating disorders, depression, anxiety, psychotic disorders, OCD, alcohol abuse, and more) I do not go into deep detail of each, more so simply mentioning the names, but if you are easily triggered please don't read. the reason I am mentioning these illnesses is because the boys(in my ff) suffer from several of them. all the mental illnesses mentioned in this chapter and their corresponding member are not based on true facts or actual evidence. this is fictional.●

"ah, well i graduated from college a while ago. majored in world language, i had this crazy dream of being a translator. but i obviously don't do that, although i've recently applied to several companies, i haven't heard from any." you ended with a neutral smile, making eye contact with the oldest who was nodding in understanding. "but i asked Jungkook which classes he took, since he still is a youngling."

you chuckle at your wording, along with the others. Hoseok even ruffling the man's hair teasingly.

"uhm, i do programming, computer stuff...yeah, it's nothing interesting like the arts b-but it's what i d-do best." a weak smile was on his lips and you chuckle softly.

"no, that sounds cute. you seem to be like a tech nerd, please take no offense. i mean to compliment you." you said, saving your mistake last second. even if they were younger than you, the level of respect and professionalism still had to be present between all of you.

red was painted across jungkook's face...he was cute to you? taehyung and jimin clenched the utensils on their hands, annoyed with how jungkook unknowingly one upped them. yoongi and hoseok sent glares to jungkook. namjoon and jin simply smiled, although they were fuming internally.

"oh, thank you..."

you nodded, biting into the food present in front of you. the taste was extravagant, even if it was a simple dish.

"my gosh, who made this? it is delicious." you moaned out, wiping your mouth. "this is so good, and home made?"

"that would be me, darling. and of course, home made. i like being able to overlook the food the boys eat, make sure they get their nutrients and stuff. i try to limit the amount of time they eat out,but sometimes i can't control it. especially if i'm in another country." you nodded impressed with the subtle fact he dropped, whether he did it on purpose or not.

"what do you guys do? i'm intrigued now with your professions." you said, resting your heaad on your hand.

"well, i graduated already...but i run my own dance studio. you should stop by sometime! we've won a couple awards, i'm very proud of my students!" hoseok smiles wide, and you could easily tell how much dance meant to him.

"i'm taking online classes for psychology. going to college is such a hassle, online is so much easier." namjoon says with a heavy sigh which you jokingly cheers to. making the males laugh at your humor.

"we, my friend, are on the same page!" you said and he laughed, making you smile widely.

"i produce music. i post my works on soundcloud...i promise i'm not like every other soundcloud rapper. i actually care about what i make, rather than the views it'll give me. i also have interest in photography, but tae is much better than me." yoongi was quiet and fidgeting when he saw the gaze of you on him. but at his last statement, you pouted a bit.

"i'm sure you two have your own styles and qualities in your work. also i've never met a producer before, i look forward to listening to your work as your career prgresses." you smiled kindly at him and he ducked his down to hide his blush. you chuckle before moving your gaze to the eldest at the table.

"oh, my turn. about time~" the boys scoffed and his attitude when you chuckled, at ease in his presence. "i mainly stay at home and do work in my office, but when push comes to shove i do have to leave the country. i'm heir to my father's company, so i have to take responsibility sometimes...and you must be wondering. so i'll answer the question now. the reason why i'm in this wheelchair is because i was in a bad accident when i was young." he nodded solemnly, although he was smiling weakly. there was a silence as you took the words in. "thank God my face was spared though."

he cupped his cheek, initiating a innocent look as everyone broke into a smile, looking over to the man with a wonder.

how could someone be so positive after such a horrific event? which was what you were thinking.

but the rest of the boys simply sighed in relief at their hyung. he was always a good liar. and they were lucky you were completely politely innocent and oblivious to their hyung's lie. he had lied more than once to you already, cheeky person he was

"yes, your face was surely spared." you said joining in with the joke.

the rest of the dinner consisted of you bonding over little things. your love for all kinds of games (including pranks) was shared with jungkook, love for animal life with namjoon, sleep with yoongi, culinary with jin, free expression with hoseok, puppies and dogs with taehyung, and family and friends with jimin. the general direction of every conversation was satisfying as it ended with everyone having a smile on their faces.

you had helped clean up, already beginning your new task as a house maid/nurse. "so what would like me to focus on as my first days?" you asked after everything was cleaned. the youngest had to go to their rooms, to begin getting ready for bed since they had school tomorrow. all their classes were in the morning which was fortunate for you since you would be driving them there from now on...and it didn't seem like fun to constantly drive back to the house and then to the university.

namjoon, who was standing in front of you, moved to the study table in the living room, and took a Manila folders into his hands. it seemed like a thick stack of papers and as you looked closer, there were a total of 7.

"no formal work, but all 7 of us saw it appropriate to give you an introduction to our needs. what exactly is wrong with us, y'know? we trust you're experience enough for this so we are confident you'll do just fine."

you took the stack of papers and thanked him. you walked through the house to find your room, which hoseok had shown you right after dinner was finished, and you still marveled at the sight.

it was a grand gray and white minimalistic bedroom with a huge bed in the center. there was also a large ledge with a window that you could sit on to see the night sky. you maneuvered your way over to the study table, turning the lap on to begin "studying" the males.

●𝖐𝖎𝖒 𝖘𝖊𝖔𝖐𝖏𝖎𝖓 / kim seokjin

disabilities/disorders: unable to move bottom half of body, a light case of schizophrenia, requires special attention on getting ready in the morning (may include dressing and showering)

meds: need daily dose for schizophrenia

your brows furrowed. that existed? you knew schizophrenia existed, but meaning a light case would specifically show what? you just shrugged and decided to what the papers were saying.

●𝖒𝖎𝖓 𝖞𝖔𝖔𝖓𝖌𝖎 / min yoongi

disabilities/disorders: OCD, severe depression, social anxiety, prone to panic and anxiety attacks in a crowd of many people, values his personal space-do not enter his personal bubble unless asked

meds: needs dose for OCD, depression

you nodded slowly, understanding the conditions and seeing the familiar names once again. you've had patients like him before, but everyone is different, so you will still be careful.

●𝖏𝖚𝖓𝖌 𝖍𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖔𝖐 / jung hoseok

disabilities/disorders: bipolar disorder, ADHD, OCD, fits of anger are dangerous, act hostile in any case and alert one of the other tenants immediately

meds: dose for ADHD & OCD

sudden shortness of his list made you a bit hopeful that taking care of 7 males wouldn't be as hard as it seemed. then again, you willingly signed up for this so you shouldn't be complaining in any way.

●𝖐𝖎𝖒 𝖓𝖆𝖒𝖏𝖔𝖔𝖓 / kim namjoon

disabilities/disorders: depression, OCD, past with alcohol abuse (currently in rehab)

meds: dose for depression and OCD

you pouted slightly, only being able to imagine how hard it must be to recover from alcoholism. and it was saddening to see such an intellectual and kind person such as Namjoon suffer from the mental illness, although that could be said about everyone you had previously read.

●𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖐 𝖏𝖎𝖒𝖎𝖓 / park jimin

disabilities/disorders: ARFID, anxiety, prone to panic and anxiety attacks

meds: none

reading the single line you let yourself think of the moment he introduced himself. he was enthusiastic about meeting you, it made you smile at the memory. you were suddenly thankful for getting such a sweet and honey-like expression out of the man.

●𝖐𝖎𝖒 𝖙𝖆𝖊𝖍𝖞𝖚𝖓𝖌 / kim taehyung

disabilities/disorders: OCD, ADD, brief psychotic disorder - periods are short and caused by stress, not dangerous unless triggered by something you do or say

meds: dose for OCD, ADD, and best if given sleep meds during pyschotic episodes

you nodded slowly, understanding and keeping the directions in the back of your mind.

●𝖏𝖊𝖔𝖓 𝖏𝖚𝖓𝖌𝖐𝖔𝖔𝖐 / jeon jungkook

disabilities/disorders: DID, psychotic, anxiety

meds: dose to limit psychotic episodes

the 3 things on the list made your eyebrows furrow. the 3 seemed to make a terrible combination and you began thinking of how calm Jungkook was before. You hoped you wouldn't encounter any bad alters of Jungkook, if he had any bad ones. and, honestly, you were a bit uneducated in the DID field, so you were determined to learn more tonight with the help of the internet.

and the last sheet in each file were filed letters to make sure you caught it :

THEY SHOULD NEVER BE KEPT UNSUPERVISED FOR A LONG TIME. MEDICATION IS IN THE CABINET IN YOUR ROOM WITH PADLOCK TO AVOID OVERDOSES. THANK YOU FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING AND COMPLIANCE.

you took the words seriously, seeing the urgency in the message. shutting the folders, you stacked all of them in one pile and moved to freshen up. a shower was needed as you climbed into the steaming bathroom. after washing yourself, you climbed into bed and soon you were falling asleep. you fell asleep thinking about how tomorrow would be your first day of your new job.

a/n- thank you so much for the support of this book!!! I hope you guys stay tuned and enjoy the rest of the journey with yabdere!bts

oooh, curious question

》what other times do you think jin lied to you? hmmm?

♡♡♡♡♡SEND ME UR ASK ON WHAT U THINK ABT THATTTTT♡♡♡♡♡

#yandere bts #yandere #yandere bts imagines #yandere imagines #x reader #bts x reader #yandere x reader #sickly ff #ot7 bts #bts ot7 #yandere ot7 #bts sickly ff #bts ff

[alexseanchai]

Saw your posts about unofficial and official work rules, and also people never explaining what the rules were, so, well, here is my take on some of the internet usage rules as I've seen them? I don't have a tumblr, so dropping this in your anon is the only way I know to get it to you. I'm not sure if this might be useful, or if it's a completely useless (hopefully not offensive or rude?) mishmash of gibberish, but frankly, 1/15

Not rude! (Though for future reference, I have a Dreamwidth under the same handle, linked in my Tumblr bio, and you can fit a lot more text in a logged-out Dreamwidth comment than an anon Tumblr ask.)

So some of what you’re describing in this series of asks (and I’m gonna paste all those in below) involves context not applicable to the job I mentioned. Case in point, no customer was ever going to see me using the internet on the clock, because with rare exceptions no customer was ever going to see me, and zero of those exceptions would involve the customer laying eyes on either my work computer or my personal phone.

Also I kind of figured that if I worked fast enough and made few enough mistakes, nobody would want to get me in trouble. FREE ADVICE, KIDS: do not attempt to do two typical-coworkers’ worth of work when you know damn well it will not earn you two employees’ worth of paycheck. Also, the day you walk out of that office for the last time is the day your boss stops caring altogether about any health conditions your work caused or worsened. (This job was largely data entry. I did in fact consistently do one and a half to two times as much work as most of my coworkers. I was there for seven years. My hands are kinda fucked now.)

And part of the reason I posted was, this is a specific and pretty non-identifying example of an ableist pattern I wanted to illustrate and then yell about. So while I am really pleased you laid all this out, I am also pretty surprised!

Anyway, this sounds like useful stuff to keep in mind. Thank you 😸

The rest of the ask series follows the read-more:

.

my ADHD brain would have caused me to go nuts if I hadn’t figured out the rules at my workplaces, because I can’t handle lack of stimulation. That said, I’m ADHD, so take my understanding with a grain of salt, but I’m trying here. In regards to the “official” rules vs the “real” rules of personal internet usage at work, I’ve found there are three broad umbrella rules. 2/15

1. It actually matches, and there is no personal internet usage at work. This is the least common, but is the one you should assume is being used until you catch someone following one of the other versions. This is the one people will claim is in effect though, especially when you are new to the job and trying to figure out the real rules, which can be very frustrating. 3/15

2. Don’t get caught using the internet for personal reasons at work. This is more common.If you catch coworkers using the internet, pretend not to notice. See how many coworkers use the internet for personal things. If it widespread, it may be this rule. If it is just one or two coworkers, or just the boss’s favorites or the people who have been there longest, or the highest ranking ones, it may be that you have to “earn” moving from umbrella rule type 1 to type 2 somehow, 4/15

which can be very, very confusing. Subtly watch coworkers to see which variant of the don’t get caught rule this workplace follows. Common variants are Don’t get caught by anyone, Don’t get caught by the boss, Don’t make the boss OFFICIALLY catch you, Don’t let the customers catch you, and Don’t let boss OR customers catch you. 5/15

(sorry, asks made me wait for flooding, rest is coming!) 3. Give the boss plausible deniability/don’t make them catch you, UNLESS they initiate the personal internet usage. If THEY instigate it, or catch someone and choose to engage in the activity with you, it is sort of mentally classified as sanctioned team building or morale boosting, just as long as you don’t mention it to outsiders or people above boss. In a relaxed enough workplace, this last option may well look like 6/15

“as long as you get your actual work done, and no outsiders are present, go ahead and use the internet for personal stuff, just make sure to parrot the official rule if asked.” In all cases, it is expected that when asked, you parrot the Official Rule, as being caught sharing the real rule can get the boss in trouble and lead to them having to enforce the official rule. 7/15

Very few workplaces actually have the official rule as the real rule, but it is expected you will pretend it is the real rule. If you have to clue someone in to the real rule vs official rule, you must never leave any evidence such as writing, texts, or emails, the real rule can only be shared verbally and away from anyone who might overhear, and should only be shared if you trust the person you are telling not to tell the boss. 8/15

As an example, my previous boss had Official Rule no personal internet usage, but the real rule was “Have a plausible sounding excuse for any personal internet usage so the boss doesn’t officially have to notice your personal internet usage and has a reason to assume any glimpses of personal use are actually somehow related to work. Do not allow any customers to catch you using personal internet. Do not leave record of personal internet usage, as boss could be forced to notice this. 9/15

During last hour of work, IF all other tasks for the day are completed and no new tasks are short enough to be started, you may check personal emails and look up dinner recipes semi-openly, so long as customers are not ever left waiting and periodical ‘we are closing soon’ tasks are carried out on time. Additionally, if you have just completed a mentally demanding major task and no customers need help, it is permissible to spend 5-15 minutes on personal internet usage, 10/15

so long as customers don’t notice. This personal internet usage is meant to clear the mind of the stress of the last task, and should be followed by starting another mentally taxing task, especially if you are caught by boss. The correct response if caught during this personal internet break is 'I just finished X task, just watching the desk for a bit and resetting my brain before I start on Y task, unless you wanted me to do something else next.’” 11/15

Fairly complex rule, honestly. Among ourselves, we shortened it to “Keep personal usage to the private browser, close it if you leave the desk, don’t do it in front of the boss unless you have a plausible excuse, never EVER let a customer catch you, one of them is a snitch and tells boss’s boss on us, and he feels bad whenever he is forced to tell us off for getting caught even though he personally doesn’t care.” He was an option 3 variety, 12/15

as he sometimes would share not-work internet stuff during slow times, or ask about co-worker’s dinner recipe searches at the end of the day, or very rarely mention if we needed to check our personal email for some reason, to use the private browser. If he hadn’t occasionally given the go ahead for personal usage in his presence, it would have been an option 2 of the “don’t make the boss official notice or let the customers catch you” rule situation. 13/15

Wow, rereading that is kind of daunting, to be honest. I hadn’t really realized how nuanced some of that was, and I know I’m probably leaving some stuff out. Boss recently changed, so I’ve been having to slowly test the waters with new boss, otherwise I probably wouldn’t have been able to articulate even this much. 14/15

I thought the comments about people not being willing to share the real rules sounded frustrated, and like trying to explain might not be taboo, so I tried to explain what I could, but if this isn’t welcome, I’m sorry for offending. Good luck trying to navigate this nonsense of unspoken rules. 15/15

#actually autistic #actually adhd #chronic pain #cn capitalists #Anonymous

[classpect-crew]

This may be an odd request but if you're able to do classpect *assignments* what would you say is the most fitting classpect for a gambler? I was originally thinking light but I'm completely stuck, if you don't do this type of thing there's no need to reply, sorry!

Mm, I think the hardest issue with Classpect assignments is that Classpects are very, very unique to each person. No two Classpects are the same, because they’re heavily reflected by the person involved. In fact, although we do tend to put a lot of stock into the various personality traits or interests/habits of different Classpects, these can sometimes be misconstrued as stricter than they really are. In reality, we ought to look at Classpects as archetypes that determine the purpose someone holds in any given session. For example, as a Sylph of Time, my job would be to maintain the timelines and keep my teammates alive and out of danger by “healing” through Time, perhaps by accelerating the body’s natural healing process, or by directly replacing the damaged limb/organ/etc. with one from another timeline, provided this didn’t cause a paradox. My personality is almost irrelevant because it only shapes the kind of Sylph of Time that I am. There are certainly going to be people out there with the same Classpect as me who are organized and constantly on time—I am not one of those people. I have ADHD and pendulum wildly between “oh I have all the time in the world” and “oh god oh god I have no time left shit shit shit!” But I also have an impeccable sense of rhythm, a deep love for music, a love of history, and archaeology, and a heathy interest in death and its trappings. The way I view timelines is much like a musical scale, and by using music, rhythm, and an understanding of how “time heals all wounds,” I would set about fulfilling my purpose in the session, keeping Doomed Timelines and paradoxes to a minimum, and keeping my teammates topped up. Our “purpose” within the game is not strictly defined by what we’re good at—with time management being an ironic weakness of mine—but also the shoes we can grow to fill, and challenges we must face.

That said, let me give you some ideas about how a gambler might manifest in the game as an archetype, with the consideration that gambling is a considerable part of their identity. Light can be a very obvious one for a gambler, given that it’s an Aspect that deals in fortune. Yet, there are a few other Aspects I’d recommend looking into, depending on how gambling affects this person’s overall purpose. Is it something they’re skilled at, and would easily be able to weaponize and use to fulfill their role in the session? Or is it something that’s holding them back, an addiction they’re suffering from that’s draining their pockets little by little?

For this example, let’s go with the first one, since successful gamblers, by and large, are very skilled at their craft and know their limits. Thus, someone who’s able to take bold risks with an Aspect that can, say, affect the reality of the universe itself is going to be an incredible asset, and a fearsome enemy. It’s also important to consider their etiquette and gambling methods. Are they fond of cheating, or do they play the game straight? Do they risk it all every time, or go bit by bit and build it up over time? For example, a gambler who plays it straight and commands the attention of a room, but has very expressive tells, might be a Light player. There’s no doubt they’ve got a natural stroke of luck when it comes to things like slot machines, Blackjack, and the like—games where fortune is very important to win. A Void player, or especially a Mind player, would be exceptional at a game like poker, where keeping a cool head and a neutral expression is key to gaining an advantage. Life players may be more likely to bet pretty decent amounts at a card table each time, keeping a constant rate unless a hand is just abysmal. Doom players, on the other hand, would start very small each time, pressing the limits of how low they can go. Then, when fortune finds them and they’re dealt a very good hand, they’re just as likely to put their chips all-in, because Doom is about incredible explosions of sheer power that carry extreme risk with them.

Depending on the person in question, I’d say your best bets are Light, Void, Life, or Doom, and possibly also Mind. Possible Classes can include the Knight (known for keeping an outer façade of some sort to hide true feelings), the Thief (infamous for being ambitious and insufferable at times, seeking what they lack most) or even the Heir, if they find themselves particularly fortunate in terms of their Aspect. If you’d like, feel free to send another ask with more description and I can give you a more specific analysis!

#anonymous #life #doom #mind #light #void #heir #thief #knight #classpect analysis #homestuck

[dont-tell-them-i-write-phan]

ADHD Tony headcanons because I'm ADHD and I said so

Seriously, I can project on this man all day long

This is going under a read more because I have a lot to say.

OKAY!! Alright, so my biggest ADHD thing is hyperfixation, but I mean, do we really need to talk about that? We all know he gets an idea in his head and goes to the lab and works and works and works until it's done. Sleep is for the weak. Eating? Never met her. Talking to someone besides his AI and robots? Why bother? Pepper/Rhodey/Happy/Peter/Bruce has to come into the lab and shove what he's working on out of his hands and replace it with a plate of food. But you know that. Everyone who's seen the movies knows that. What you may not know is that he does it with e v e r y t h i n g. "When did you become an expert on thermonuclear astrophysics?""Last night." It wasn't necessary. He read the file and understood it perfectly well enough. However, it was interesting so he spent the rest of the night on a deep dive learning about it just because that's what he does. He walked past the TV when someone was watching a show and that night he pulled it up on a tablet when he couldn't sleep. Three days later he knew everything about that show, its source material, the actors, the producers, news, everything. He decides that Pepper needs a 20 foot tall stuffed rabbit for Christmas and scours the internet for hours until he finds exactly what he's looking for.

Now, let's talk racing thoughts. Between the fact that he is a genius and ADHD, Tony just thinks Very Fast and Does Not Stop Thinking Ever. Sometimes this is a source for insomnia, sometimes it isn't. Just depends on the night. It is, however, always a contributing factor to his maladaptive daydreaming. He gets a thought in his head and he follows that thought down a rabbit hole and two hours later, Pepper is shaking his shoulder with a slight frown on her face because he hasn't moved that whole time. When she asks what he was thinking about, he crumples his forehead for a moment then relaxes, shrugs and says "Who knows, but I figured out that formula." And that's it. He's got a bad habit of just saying whatever comes to his mind at any given opportunity which is super inconvenient sometimes because while he has a perfectly logical train of thought, he's gone through four subjects by himself in the span of half a second and the other person is left in the dust and very confused. Not to mention that he's got too many ideas for just one train of thought. He's like Grand Central Station. Sometimes he stays on one train, but he could just as easily hop to another and not lose traction in the slightest. Sometimes if he just can't figure something out he does that frustrated little snuffly thing with his nose and switches to a different thought while that one is still actively running in the background and he'll suddenly realize that he's solved it, snap his fingers, yell at FRIDAY that he's not taking any calls and get to work immediately. The Avengers meet a telepath one day and they got to shake Tony's hand and just immediately crumple to the floor. When they wake up they're just staring at Tony in mild horror because what the fuck. How can one tiny human brain be doing that much at one time?

And don't even get me STARTED on the sensory input that man deals with. Tony notices EVERYTHING around him at all times. That scene in Homecoming where he's talking to Peter, interacting with people at a party, drinking, flying the most advanced suit of armor in the world, and driving a car all at the same time? With a pair of glasses?? Child's play. He can do that all day long because he can compartmentalize. He sees and hears So Much All The Time that he'd go crazy if he actually tried to register it all. So instead it's filtered and stored. He notices everything but unless it's important, it's ignored. Not forgotten, just put aside to be stored later. And then forgotten because he forgets to ever store it. That telepath? Yeah, another reason they're curled up on the ground sobbing is because now they're perfectly aware of how Everything Happens So Much all the time in Tony's head. Tony is very well acquainted with being overstimulated and knows how to help with Peter's senses being dialed up to 11.

And then there's just the #JustADHDThings. 

The trailing off in the middle of a sentence because you started following another rabbit trail. 

Leaving things unfinished because something came up and walking back to the mess and going "Wtf was I even doing?" 

Shitty Memory. Tony walks into rooms about 12 times in a row because he keeps forgetting what he was doing in there. 

Always Gotta Move. Doesn't matter if it's tinkering or typing or walking or talking or gesturing or leg bouncing or chewing or fidgeting, but he's gotta be in motion unless he's in that daydreaming state. 

Sometimes you're allowed to touch him, other days of you get within five feet he's Uncomfortable because you're Too Close.

 Should he drink coffee? No. Does he? Yes. Does he feel like death when his heart starts racing? Absolutely. Is he gonna stop? H e l l n o. 

REPETITION!! He just does things over and over and over again sometimes because he's Just Gotta. Solved an equation in your head? Do it again. Found a word you liked? Say it over and over until it's not a word. Hang up the picture. No hang it up there. No hang it up there. No- actually, I'm bored, let's go.

Constantly losing things. One of the first things he programmed into JARVIS was the ability to scan the house and tell him exactly where The Thing is. 

Time?? What the fuck even is that? Miss me with that fake shit. Tony can't tell the difference between an hour and 10 minutes 90% of the time and if you ask him how many days it's been since something he'll just stare and you dumbfounded for a moment then say "More than two days ago, but definitely since December." And that's it. That's as specific as he can get.

#tony stark #iron man #marvel #mcu #headcanon #ADHD #bee writes