#wait what does rat language even look like?

[rubberduckydj]

#rat #rats #rat trap #rat language #youtube comment #wait what does rat language even look like?

[mellowwillowy]

Yan! Boyfriend x GN Reader

—𝒀𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒐𝒃𝒆𝒓 - 𝑳𝑰𝒇𝑬 𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒋𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕 , NSFW

Yan! Boyfriend who you thought to be a golden retriever only to have him turn into a Doberman the moment you are away from him.

Yan! Boyfriend who is the "all 5 love language combo" for you and you only!

Act of service? Fun, especially when his head is buried into your crotch. That aside, yes he does all those sweet ass stuffs. Anything you think of, he has done it, even to the very most downbad shit you could think of.

Physical touch? PDA if you are into that, else either a hand around your thigh, squeezing them with love or shit ton of pecks.

Words of affection? 'My love looks so gorgeous as usual! What a refined beauty my love is, no wonder I can't stop falling head over heels for you!' And you were on the bed with bad hair, drooling on your pillow.

Gifting? How many gifts have you received today from him? Starting from something little to something large? The most surprising would be him coming home with a pet for you.

"Ta-daaa! You've been saying you want a pet so I think you will like this!"

Quality time? Not a problem for him. He has a lot of time for you. Hm? Work? Better not question him further about it. All that matters is that it's enough to give the two of you more than enough, even allowing the two of you to laze around. (Unlike Yan! Lawyer Husband and Yan! Antagonist who barely has any time for darling pfft-)

Yan! Boyfriend who is practically on his knees like a dog waiting for his treat when you are about to do something ✨️ r o m a n t i c a l ✨️ on him. Say who's a good boy and you could have sworn you saw his non-existent tail wagging excitedly.

"Who's a good boy hm? Who's a gooood boy??"

"Me! Blue! Blue is a good boy!"

Well, at least he is now because he wasn't when you first met him. He's changed a lot just for you, didn't want to disappoint you the next time you see him.

Yan! Boyfriend is the guy who you can really depend on for everything. Financially? Yes. Wanna beat the fuck out of someone? Call him and that person will have a taste of all the martial arts he has learned back then, not to mention he was quite the delinquent back then. Mentally? Yes. He's always there for you, either making it worse or better.

Yan! Boyfriend who likes to show you off to his friends and co-workers so much as though you are his prized possession. The hand that never leaves your waist and the dagger he shot at the people who stared at you for a bit too long are threatening enough to scare them away. Will definitely have a separate chat with them later,

"The fuck you are looking at my love for hm?"

Ignore how their nose is red and bleeding okay? If only Blue was able to do more, he would have had his fist buried into their face even more and harder like in the good ol' days. Has no choice but to be good else someone might rat to you about his behavior again.

Yan! Boyfriend who really likes to sleep on your lap, being able to feel you this close just makes him feel all giddy like a teenager in love. Would litter kisses and licks if you are not wearing anything that covers your thighs.

Yan! Boyfriend who will almost have the same taste in music as yours because he's just like that. Sucking in everything about you and ends up liking it.

Yan! Boyfriend who will vibe with you nonstop. If you are the crack type person, he will just be as crack as you, making people think whether the two of you are high in crack or not. Will always make you feel like it's okay to do anything you want without having to be embarrassed. Too shy to sing? Well, watch him scream his lungs out (Lemon and Grape chilling with ear muffs) and his hand motioning you tag along.

"BABY WON'T YOU LOOOOVEEE MEEEE"

"What do you say we gag him up with the mic?"

"Great, I'll hold him by the neck."

Yan! Boyfriend who really loves watching you sleep. No, he's not a somnophilic bastard like Yulian. He just adores seeing you resting so peacefully. (while Eleanor panicking over darling sleeping)

Yan! Boyfriend who enjoys cooking breakfast for you. You'll wake up greeted with him standing by the kitchen or sitting by the dining table waiting for you to wake up. Hm? If the food has gone cold because you woke up late, he'll just reheat it. Nothing biggie so no need to feel bad about it ^^

Yan! Boyfriend who is always keeping his mental state in check just in case it cracks open the ugly side of him again. He's embarrassed of it yet he is grateful for it because it brought the two of you to meet. Just staying next to you is enough to keep him sane so try not to stray too far from him okay? He might really snap again and the place you once called home might be nothing but ruins.

"Love you... dear."

Yan! Boyfriend who hates being away from you! If his work suddenly requires him to be somewhere away from you, he will bring you along with him! (I might make a chart of the difference for all the LIfE Pro casts)

"Almost feels like a vacation eh? Let's visit this place once I'm done with work love!"

Although he always brings you along, there are times when he'll have to leave you with Lemon or Grape, either asking them to stay with you or you stay over their place.

"Try not to dent his sport car again yeah? He was yapping at me for hours ahaha! I will ask Grape to watch over you as well, she'll do well as your nanny. Hm? Not a little kid anymore? Oh no no, better be safe than sorry. Don't want those nasty ghosts keeping you awake during the night yeah?"

Afternote:

Blue is my second favorite! Yulian has always been the first so no one sees Blue that much... he's just so sweet... although the story he shares with Eleanor tangles everything up...

#LIfE Project #yandere male #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere scenarios #yandere x you #yandere imagines #male yandere #yandere insert #yandere oc #yandere headcanons #yandere works #yandere writing #reader insert #x reader #oc #x gn reader #yandere husband

[pinkie-pop]

Alrighty then thanks!! Could you maybe write yandere Riddle x reader where the reader is extremely affectionate and touchy? They basically cling alot or give random hugs/headpats/head or cheek kisses.

Featuring: Gender-neutral reader, Yandere Riddle Rosehearts, affectionate reader, Self-Aware Twisted Wonderland

Includes: Mommy issues, obsessiveness, possessive thoughts, self-degreading thoughts

When you first 'landed' in Twisted wonderland, Riddle didn't know what to expect. Of course, he knew you would be kind (you had to be, to use your precious time on people like him) but there was little else to know. Yuu was always so secretive when it came to you. For Seven's sake, he didn't even know your name.

He didn't know what to expect, and yet, it did little to keep his imagination from running. That's the thing about mystery, you know. You add your own spin to it, even when you know it's in vain. Riddle imagines that you are refined, the kind of person who drinks mid-afternoon tea with the sort of elegance you only see in those who have engaged in rigorous etiquette training ever since their youth, except yours would not be learned, it would be something you were born with. You would not follow the law, because you would be the law.

You would have a sort of accent, too, he thinks. A subtle, classy accent that showcases your otherworldliness. Surely you would not speak in the same dilect that they do in Twisted Wonderland. This line of thought poses a rather distressing question, however.

Do you even speak the same language as the rest of them? What if you don't?

Riddle reckons that since Yuu speaks the language, you must also be fluent. Of course you would be, you must be an intelligent person, capable of speaking multiple languages with ease. The anxiety is not quite laid to rest, however, it merely dims, sitting in the back of his mind in patient wait.

There is another, far more pressing issue at hand, after all.

What if you're not what he expects? Would you be offended, knowing that someone as unworthy as him was forcing his own ideals on someone as elevated as you?

It was silly of him to worry. In reality, you are kind and forgiving. Far kinder to him than he deserves.

You are affectionate. You gave him the kind of affection he never received as a child. It healed something within him that he never knew was broken. It took quite a while to get used to, his face was painted as red as roses without rest for two straight weeks. He didn't mind, though. Of course not. How could he mind? The blush was because of you, and he wore it with pride. It was a gift, a sign of your eternal affection.

But he was not the only one who had received it.

Of course not, your graciousness was overflowing. It spilled out of your in waves. It stands to reason that he is not the only sponge lying in wait, eager to soak up even the tiniest drop of your attention.

Those rats…They didn't deserve you. But, then again…neither did he.

Riddle would be lying if he said the thought of spiriting you away didn't cross his mind once or twice (or four or eight times…), but how could he ever go through with it? Not only does it go against the Queen's laws, but it's also an insult to your own autonomy.

You choose to give pieces of yourself, to grace others, even when they are undeserving. That is your choice, and he will do his utmost to respect it. Even if he doesn't understand. Even if it hurts him. No matter what, he will not infringe upon your freedom, nor doubt your choices.

He will continue to hold his tongue until the day comes when you look at him—him and only him. When he becomes worthy of your generosity, he will ensure that is the sole outlet for your boundless warmth. No matter the cost.

If it means staying by your side, he will burn every bridge if he has to. Break every law.

Because it's you.

#yandere riddle rosehearts #twisted wonderland x reader #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twst #self aware twst #riddle rosehearts #riddle rosehearts x reader #yandere riddle

[justcallmesakira]

hihihihi AUGH i love ur work sm?!! omg if u can fyodor with a younger sister (she has the same level of intelligence of him and works in the doa and his organaization) who is dating dazai? :) I know there are some but i need crack and suggestive!!1

ty and er bye good luck take ur time!

"Fyodor with a sister dating Dazai''

Sypnosis: Your rat brother is anything but happy about the fact that you are dating his only enemy on earth! Good luck on surviving!!!

Genre: crack, suggestive at the end

Warnings: bombing, terrorizz, , mentions of maniupulative behaviour, mentions of verlaine, roblox radgoll, loads of simping words, me being down bad, making out (lol), your mom

A/N: my reqs are currently closed but ehhhh who cares lol also THIS WAS SO HARD TO WRITE HONESTLY- pls enjoy and reblog i tried my best--- *dies of mental ilness*

How bro-

JUST HOW DID U DO THAT W/O HIM BLASTING DAZAIS INTERNAL ORGANS? 🤯🤯🤯

No bcs fyodor did not even plan to let u meet dazai but ofcourse bcs of the dead apple tower and stuff and since then he had completly fallen inlove with you whether you are dostoevskys sister or not

He prob asked u to do a waltz with him in the mukokukokurokito or whatver the phuck that towers name was when you entered the castle with your brother

Fyodor WAS NOT happy because he saw the flirty glint in dazais eyes when u came

If looks cold kill-.. (KILL ME, RUSSIAN ZADD😍😍---)

And all you went was giggles and flirting back

Fyodor is prob gonna get his own medicine bcs they two are so like each other??? but he still couldnt believe how you with such high intelligence could fall for him???

(fyodor take your anemic medication first)

Dazai obv had some skeptics after you but like the manwhore he is and prob slept with the entierty of yokohama! ofc hes gonna court you as if you might not just use him!!!

Very (not) normal behaviour indeed!!

HELP YOU KNOW THAT ONE INDIAN RIZZLER VS. UWU CAT??? HES LITERLY THAT BUT

Dazai: "I fucked your sister she be screaming high pitch😈" fyodor: "What did you say, you little child i will crush your skull 😡😡😡should have known when i smile, I also play cello, i can be anything Уву"

that was UWU in russian btw-

But in all serious he will try maniupultaing you or gaslighting you into leaving dazai, he cant leave his only family to a man he does not trust! fyodor doesnt even trust himself-

fyodors gonna act a bit more colder then usual bcs of the fact HIS sister is dating someone and that someone is his enemy

Honeslty you go up to say chuuya whos like "why do i get deja vu-" *flashback to verlaine* you: "First time?"

But ofc since you are also extremely smart you somehow convinced him (after playing roblox radgoll with him for 8 hours) to let you atleast join date with dazai

I bet you rizzed up dazai by "He said his favourite colour was blue, so i blew him up😍💣"

*insert proud brother noises*

He speaks in russian or any slavic language whenever you three are in a gathering to mostly embarress dazai

I have seen some hcs on dazai being a collarbone biter so if you were off shoulder shirts and fyodor sees them by chance hes going to glare at you as if you are covered in mud :33

"Sister,,,what. is. that." *nasty side eye to the love bite on your neck*

Dazai 100% one time randomly pulled you into the alley and started aggresively making out with you with his hands literly sprawling all over your body like hes daddy long legs or sth-

Bcs HE KNEW that fyodor had cctv set in that part of the city and fyodor would be raging at the fact that the sluttiest man is touching his precious sister like that

bros gonna forgot abt human rights- oh wait hes russian

IF HE EVER CATCHES YOU TWO THO--

Like making out on some bed or sth hes actually no LIKE ACTUALLY GOING TO throw a whole ass cabinet at dazai with a face full of nothing but malice-

"How dare, an inhuman animal like you touch my very sister" "BRO CHILL I AM YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW--"

And your just trying to stop your brother from commiting murder even though that his hobby ^^

fyodor finally forgot he had anemia bcs now all his focus was to give dazai the most painful death know to the medieval period\

Good luck on stoping your brother from poking a fork in your lovers eye in family dinners!!

A/N: guys ik i am doing the valentines req pls be patient i am trying my best!! i have a relly bad mental health rn so yeahhh-

Divider crds!: @cafekitsune

tags! @silverbladexyz @biscuits-lovely-corner @riiwrites @heartsfourdazai @tojifile @atsquie @atlasnessie @chuuyasboner @yosanosboner @ruanais @darling--angst

#bungou stray dogs #sakira! #bsd #bsd x reader #dazai #dazai x reader #crack #bsd stuff #bsd hcs #fyozai x reader #fyodor x reader x dazai #fyodor with a sister #fyodor x sister reader #dazai fyodors sister #enemies and lovers #overprotective brothers #sakiras writing notebook!!!

[theflyindutchwoman]

Look, you're out of your depth on this. Look, I've been riding with you for two months. You project the rogue cop thing, but you are always on the right side of the law. If you came all the way over here to psychoanalyze me, you wasted your time. No, I I came here to remind you that you'll regret helping her. Because it's not gonna change her. But it'll sure as hell change you.

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 1.07 - The Ride Along

One of my favorite thing about these two is how protective they are of each other. This is a trait they both share. Tim might be called the 'fierce protector' but it absolutely goes both ways. Lucy is exactly the same. From the very beginning. There was an inkling of that already when she volunteered to go pay a visit to Isabel after her overdose : she was trying to shield Tim from more pain, from seeing who his wife was living with… or in which conditions. And that makes this scene a touch sadder since all that effort went to nought. He still ended up having to go there… Fortunately for him, he is not as alone as he thinks he is. Lucy is waiting for him outside. Watching over him.

I love how you can see her hesitation when she leaves her car. It was one thing for her to (rightfully) call him out on his behavior on the job, it's another to insert herself in his private life after their shift. She may have been confident enough to pull off her prank with the money clip, but this is far more personal. And he does look a bit angry at first. Only, unlike last time, it's not because he thinks she's out of line. At least, not entirely. I believe there's some genuine concern for her here : if anyone ever found out she was here in the first place, she could get in trouble. He knows the risks he is taking, even without removing the evidence. He accepted them when he agreed to help his wife and broke into her place. But Lucy is pretty much risking her career… for him. And it says a lot about her character that, despite everything, she still takes that chance. Especially since as far as she believes, he may have removed the drugs, which could put her in a precarious position of having to either lie to protect him, or rat him out.

The way she gets slowly closer to him, trying to bridge the gap and reach out to him… She is so nervous, knowing she's overstepping a line. But she cares too much not to say anything. She has been able to see right through his walls the moment Isabel showed up and this just shows how perceptive she truly is. And her assessment of Tim is pretty spot-on : as much as he likes to paint himself as this rogue officer, he does try to stay on the right side of the law and not cross a line he can't come back from. His morals, his code are what separate him from someone like The Hawke. And tampering with evidence would have definitely changed him. Lucy's behavior also stands in stark contrast with Isabel here : Tim's wife was earlier begging him to betray what he stands for and believes in whereas Lucy is imploring him to stay true to himself. Obviously Isabel was under the influence of the drugs, so she didn't even realise what she was asking. But this moment still aligns with Lucy's attitude, how she has never tried to change him, only broaden his horizon and give him a safe place to allow him to be vulnerable. Melissa does a terrific job at conveying what Lucy is feeling here, between the slight hesitation in her body language and the little crack in her voice.

'It's not gonna change her. But it'll sure as hell change you.'. This is such a powerful statement, one that shows how much she cares already even though at this point, he hasn't given her a reason to. And that realisation fully hits him. It's really a turning point in their relationship. Tim is left completely speechless after that… Because I don't think anyone ever cared like that for him. Angela and Talia were there for him after Isabel's arrest, but they're his friends. Talia was even invited at his wedding. Lucy, on the other hand, is his rookie and barely knows him… But she still took that risk to come and try to talk him out of doing this. And that is so overwhelming for him that he can only turn away abruptly before his mask starts to slip.

Lucy looks so worried at the end : she doesn't know for sure if he has crossed the line or not… I honestly think that he had already made the decision not to take the drugs (as implied by the fact that we see him leave) and Lucy's support brought him some modicum of comfort… as much as the situation allowed.

#the rookie #chenford #chenfordedit #lucy chen #tim bradford #1.07 #Anatomy of a scene - Chenford Edition

[lilys-of-the-valley]

What I imagine dating Aemond Targaryen would be like: 🌸

🌸 First, I think you're both probably in an arranged marriage for alliances, but he does respect you and treat you well.

🌸 He's a respectful boy, not like Aegon. He'll place his hand on your lower back and gently guide you through crowds or through the halls of the Red Keep. He'll offer you his arm to get in or out of carriages. He's a very good boy.

🌸 He does eventually grow to like you and eventually love you.

🌸 His love languages are acts of service and quality time.

🌸 He enjoys the sweet, peaceful moments between you two when you're both relaxing in your shared chambers, reading in front of the lit fire, and it soothes him.

🌸 He enjoys doing little things for you, like bringing you letters that have been sent to you, or if he notices you're stressed he'll get the maids to run you a hot bath with your favourite oils and ointments.

🌸 He is very insecure about his missing eye. He hates it and therefore thinks you will be repulsed by it, so he hides it for the first few months of being in love with you

🌸 Eventually, he'll show you, you'll probably have to coax him to show you, with gentle touches and hushed soothing words, but he will show, he thinks you deserve to see it.

🌸 When he reveals his sapphire, he'll avoid your eyes, he won't make eye contact, and he thinks you're disgusted by it. You're not. You guide him to look at you, and when he does, his heart melts at your loving gaze. He thinks he doesn't deserve you.

🌸 After showing you his eye, he won't wear the eyepatch in private around you. He's more relaxed and his feelings for you definitely grew.

🌸 He's a jealous boy, he doesn't like it when you catch the eye of other lords, or knights or maybe even his nephews or brother, he doesn't like it. He will scowl and glare from a distance, maybe even wrap an arm around your waist and growl some insult at the man in question.

🌸 Hes awkward when it comes to cuddling, he's never had that kind of loving touch, but when he's with you he seeks it out, when you're both in bed he'll scooch closer slowly, waiting for you to push him away or turn, but you don't so he moves all the way to you, so your skin is touching his warm skin. He'll definitely wrap his arms around your waist and caress the skin there. He'll put his nose in your hair and breathe in your scent. He finds you so soothing.

🌸 Definitely takes you to meet Granny Vhagar. She's a grumpy old fart but she loved you just as much as Aemond does, and she's very calm around you, Aemond loves that his two best girls like each other.

🌸 After he knows you two like each other, he'll take you on dragon rides to see the stars and have some alone time with you

🌸 He teases you sometimes. Once you're both comfortable with each other, he definitely teases you, lingering touches a little too low or too high, and he'll smirk at you while he does it. He also likes to tease you in High Valyrian. You dont understand all of it, but you can tell by his smirk and his teasing tone that he's teasing you. (Little rat)

🌸 He's a dragon through and through, he's hot tempered at times and he often needs that soothing presence that his mother tried but couldn't always give him, you're there though and you're good at keeping your dragon in check.

🌸 All in all, he's a sweet and insecure, touch starved dragon who craves you and your presence. 🩷

Note: I hope this was okay! I didn't write NSFW because it was my first post, and I didn't know if you'd want that! But here we go! :) 🌸

#aemond targaryen x reader #hotd x reader #house of the dragon #aemond one eye #aemond x y/n #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen

[melody-writer777]

Can you do some fluffly “x reader” headcannons with Hobie from ATSV?

Fluffy Hobie Brown Head cannons

Summary: Fluffy head cannons of Hobie as your boyfriend

Warning: Theft but that’s it

Ship: Hobie Brown x gn reader

One big thing I can imagine for him and a relationship is nicknames. I feel like even before you date he’ll call you some nicknames. Like “dear”, “babe”, or even “rat” in a nice way ofc

After a while of you dating you would realize on his guitar there’s some really jagged lines that read “y/n”

When you asked him about it he just brushed it of and said he was drunk and though to do it “for the kicks”

One of his love languages is giving you song recommendations

It really different, but that’s part of the reasons he does it. But if he gives you a song recommendation the songs meaning applies to you guys.

He’s very observant when it is comes to what you like. For example, if you say you like a certain shade of a certain color, every thing he sees in that color he’ll get (notice how I didn’t say buy)

If your in the store with him and you say you like something but don’t want to get it, on your way home you’ll look in your bag or hell just hand it to you and it’s the little thing you wanted.

A lot of people make him out to be this very scary, protective, and jealous guy, but I feel like he wouldn’t be that serious about it.

Like he would make his presence known and making it known he’s your boyfriend, like I little sprinkle of calling you “babe”

Or just to be sure, he would give you one of his guitar picks as a necklace or make it into a charm/pin.

One thing Hobie will always stick to, it’s the fact he will never take you one the same date twice.

One day it’ll be a classic movie at home, and then two days later it’s a rage room date, then you’ll go spray painting the week after. Soon he’ll pick up what you like and stick to the theme of it. But still never the same date twice.

Another one of his love languages is just quality time. Like you can be doing your own thing, like folding clothes, and he could be writing a new song. And he couldn’t be more content with the world.

With pda he’s happy to do it but he wouldn’t be making out with you for no reason. He’d love to do the little pinky holding or a simple are around your wait or shoulders.

I really hope this is good and is what you asked for. I am still totally new to writing so I hope it’s fluffy enough to start with.

- Melody <33

#melodys writing #atsv hobie #atsv imagines #x reader #hobie brown

[cleake]

Comfort Game

Some Narrator comfort, I tried my best to write him in character but you never know

Warning: English is not my first language, please excuse any mistakes

Everything was not out of the ordinary at the beginning. You were playing the game with no interruptions and the Narrator had to just sit back and watch you do all the stuff that he didn't ask you to. You were ignoring his narration, you were doing your own thing, you were the player of the game after all. And that irritated him, his art was not being appreciated enough in the way he wanted it to be appreciated. Maybe you were just doing it against him, he didn't know, but now he was too frustrated by your disobedience that he just let you do the stuff you wanted to, who he was to tell you otherwise? Just a voice in a game. He kept silent against his own will. The Narrator watched you walking through the halls of the office, walking through the door he said was incorrect, stopping to look at the objects that were completely irrelevant in the story. Why were you behaving so stupidly? So irresponsibly? He was angered. The Narrator noticed you were walking in circles, with no purpose, no intention, no meaning. Like a blind rat. So stupid. When he saw you walk into the employee lounge AGAIN he had to say something, he had to express his frustration with you.

"Excuse me, but what. Are. You. Doing?" he started with a very monotone and harsh tone with a quiet growl behind his deep voice "'I've been here for..." his voice trembled at his last words as he tried to gather all the hours he has spent here with you "A very long time and you're not listening to me AT. ALL. What are you even doing? I suppose you not listening to me is nothing new but at least you tend to have a REASON to not listen to me. Now you're just wandering around, doing nothing, not interacting with my story, not giving anything from yourself to add something to this story. That is very impolite of you. I'm trying my best to make something here, to make a piece of art to be seen and played through PROPERLY. You're not giving me anything here. Who do you think you are to disobey my narration? You're just a player, you're just playing a game. A game that I HAVE made. You should be grateful, you know. I'm being very generous for you and you're treating me and my art like THAT. I'm very offended by your behavior, in fact, I think I won't be talking to you anymore, since you know my game better than I DO." He's very insulted, his voice sounds a little bit childish from the frustration, and he speaks through his teeth. He then does as he said, stays silent. Not speaking to you, just watching you play with frustration in his heart. How dare you be so ignorant of his efforts to make your experience of the game nice and interesting? Don't you want to know what he prepared for you? What kind of wonderful and powerful stories he has put you in? Based on your behavior you don't care. So he won't care too, he decided.

Your mindless wandering through the game stopped while the Narrator was speaking and the screen stood still with the image of the employee lounge, just existing, noting moving or making any sounds. If someone else was playing the game they would think that it has crushed, but both of you, You and the Narrator, knew that it wasn't. Both of you refused to do anything, you both stayed silent. How boring. You should do something. Why are you standing still? Only you know.

The Narrator wasn't going to break his promise of not talking, he was determined to let you know that he was offended and didn't care about your playthrough anymore. But he was curious about your disobedience. He wanted to ask you about it but he was offended after all, he won't be talking to you.

The silence continued to reign, the game went nowhere, you did nothing.

Suddenly the Narrator heard a sniff. A very weak sniff but it held a lot of sorrow. Oh. Wait, are you...

Another one rang out and the Narrator started to feel less offended and more concerned and slightly scared. Are you crying? What? Why? Since when? What has made you cry? Was it the Narrator's frustration? It isn't real, it shouldn't hurt you! He wasn't trying to make you cry, just make you realize your strange behavior. Now he felt bad and he broke his promise.

"Hey... Are you... Crying?" he sounded much gentler, caring, and concerned, his voice lowered and the growl in it was no longer there. A small silence fell again until the screen moved up and down, as in a nod.

"Oh." he stammered out, clearly ashamed now. He didn't know what to do, how could he do anything to help you while being just a voice? He thought for a while, not knowing what to do but he couldn't just leave you like this.

"Well... Why are you crying? Is it because of me?" He asked with hesitation, a little bit scared by that idea. Another silence filled the moment and the screen moved to the sides, swinging in protest at the Narrator's words. He sighed with relief, that's good to know "Ah, right. I was just asking to make sure to not speak of the truth any longer." he snapped a little bit, trying to get away from his concern about you but he was just pretending, keeping the image of the great and powerful Narrator. Another silence, now he feels sheepishly from his words, he shouldn't have said that. What if he hurt you?

"I-I'm sorry, I regret saying that." he started with a weaker voice, sounding gentle once more. He sighs and gives in to his concern about you "Why are you crying- Wait. Why are you playing the game while crying? What's up with that?" he asked with some confusion, genuinely curious as to why you were here while feeling unwell. Of course, you didn't answer, why should you talk to a voice from a video game? The Narrator took a moment to think of possible reasons why you were still playing. "Are you... Playing the game because it gives you some kind of comfort..?" he said sheepishly, not feeling confident in his question. What if that's not the answer?

To his relief and small shock, the screen moved up and down, confirming his question.

"Really?" he was clearly not expecting that, speaking a little bit slower from his surprise. You enjoyed his game so much that you would open it while feeling sad? It gave you comfort? Even when the Narrator was screaming and insulting you and your playing skills? How's that possible? What kind of a person you are to enjoy that? He felt both confused and kind of touched, you liked his game this much? He grunted, slightly awkward from this situation, he wasn't used to having such interactions with players.

"I see, right... Well, I'm flattered to know that but... I don't know what could possibly give you comfort here. I mean this is a plain office building, there are no pretty things to rave over. Maybe in some endings, there's some nice scenography I suppose. But what else can comfort you here? You die in this game, you are trapped in your own office, you have to suffer multiple times, you don't really get a happy ending. And you never get an ending, that's the purpose of this game. Does that comfort you? The idea of endless possibilities? Something that life cannot offer?"

The screen shook to the sides once more, denying the Narrator's words to which he let out a quiet hum in thought.

"That's strange. Is it the music? Does it comfort you? I do have to say that it is impressive but I never thought it would comfort someone while feeling upset."

The screen moved to the sides again.

"WHAT? Then what could possibly calm you here- the humor! You like the humor of it, don't you? Well, that flatters me, I do have a great sense of humor after all." the Narrator chuckled, getting a little bit ahead before your answer, clearly feeling confident and proud of himself. But that's not a correct answer either, you shake the screen to the sides once more and the Narrator's laughter fades away "Then I have no idea. Does the bucket give you comfort? I wouldn't be so surprised if it did, you looove it so much anyway." his voice turned slightly harsher as if he was frustrated with the idea of the bucket being a source of your comfort. But maybe it was, he never knew.

The screen shakes to the sides once more.

"I'm running out of ideas here, I don't know what else could-" his voice broke off for a moment, a sudden realization coming into his mind. He couldn't believe it, he didn't want to believe it but maybe it was true? He felt a little bit of hope in his heart "Could it be... That I give you comfort?" he asked with even more hesitation, maybe it was true.

The screen finally bopped up and down and the Narrator let out a small gasp, feeling even more shocked than before.

"Wait, really? Me? I'm the one who gives you comfort? After all, I shout at you, I insult you and you feel I'm comforting?! I'm starting to worry about your sense of self-worth."

A silence fell again, a longer one as the Narrator was thinking of your answer, not knowing what to do with it. He started to feel bad for his earlier insults toward you, even through that you thought he was... Comforting. He couldn't wrap his head around this, how's that possible? Maybe you're lying or need help since you enjoy listening to him throw insults at you. But somehow that made him feel a little bit nice, you enjoyed his presence, at least he thought you did so.

"Eghem... May I ask you something?"

The screen moved up and down at the Narrator's question.

"Do you... Like listening to me? Do you... Tolerate my presence?" he asked with a bit of sudden insecurity, not believing that you truly liked being with him in the game. But your answer stunned him again, you've confirmed it "Oh. That's... Hard to believe." he sighed and kept silent for a moment more "Thank you." he added with a lot of unexpected warmth in his voice, he sounded very touched. It was a very important answer for him, he felt that it meant a lot to him.

"Hey, uh... I know this might not help you feel better but I'd like to try either way. Maybe you'd like to see some of my unreleased work? I feel that I'd like to share it with you. If that's okay with you." He wanted to comfort you more, be kinder to you, you're the player of the game after all. You could make mistakes, go against him or do your own thing and he had to accept that, and he felt that he might be willing to.

The screen jumped up and down, a lot more enthusiastically, with more energy and vigor than before which made the Narrator feel a little bit happier.

"Great! Alright, let's see what I can show you..." he mumbled, and a sound of paper ruffling together rang out "Ah, yes. This seems interesting enough. Allow me to show you an idea of mine that I've saved for you, I'm sure you're going to enjoy it." the Narrator said with a joyful undertone in his voice, almost giggling from the excitement. Then the screen went black.

𝗟𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗟𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗟𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗟𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗟𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗟𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗟𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴

#x reader #reader insert #the stanley parable #the narrator #tsp narrator #tsp the narrator #tsp x reader #tsp narrator x reader #hurt/comfort #angst to fluff #fanfic #my fanfiction #I don’t know how to feel #headcanon #writing #I love the narrator #he’s angry

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

The Beginning Of The End - Chapter 5

Summary: You were once a “honeybee”, now you’re simply a “bunny”. Can an alliance and friendship still last after one’s former lover became the current lover of another?

Pairings: ELP x Reader x Jay White

Warnings: +18, mentions of cheating, cursing, mentions of smut, adult language. 

Tag: @theworldofotps , @writtingrose , @aerynscrichton, @daddyhausen , @melissahausen , @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin , @sophiewolfheart-blog , @sultryfandoms , @new-zealand-chic, @crowleysqueenofhell , @thealliasylum , @legit9thlunaticwarrior , @adamjf , @josiewrites , @seeingstarks , @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch , @whenimakeitshine1234 , @moxkindagirl , @sunshinevirus , @im-just-a-mississippi-girl , @pleasantpastels

Chapter 4

Riley was still mesmerized, of course, he knew you had a strong personality and was incredibly outspoken. When you met that was the very first thing that caught his attention: your fierceness. Riley never failed to notice how those traits sometimes seemed to disconcert Jay to the point of anger. As a matter of fact, Riley was aware that Jay never knew how to handle you ever since the beginning of your relationship.

“She doesn’t listen, she does whatever she wants, she doesn’t understand nor obey me. She never does anything I want, she’s not-“

“She’s not like every desperate ring rat waiting for you at the arena parking lot who’s willing to lay on the concrete floor and let you walk over them just for your sheer amusement?” Riley chuckled and tossed his towel on the locker room bench before looking at Jay “Man, are you listening to yourself? She doesn’t ‘obey’ you? She’s not your daughter, Jay. She doesn’t have to do shit!” He huffed loudly “She’s a fascinating woman with a strong personality, not a teenager. So unless you want her to get tired of your immature behavior and eventually dump you, I suggest you stop treating her like she’s below you”. 

And now, sitting at the foot of the bed of your hotel room, Riley couldn’t take his eyes off of you. 

You paced around the room, murmuring a random jazz song as you chose an outfit for your breakfast date. After Riley watched the entirety of the discussion between his bunny, Jay, and Lisa, he did the only thing he could think of doing ever since he watched you fiercely defend your relationship: have an hour worthy of passionate sex. 

It probably wasn’t appropriate, but this whole situation was starting to get too strange to be considered normal, so what was one more freaky thing amid this chaos?

“This outfit looks weird, doesn’t it? It’s alright, you can say it” You asked when your eyes caught Riley intently staring at you. 

He shook his head lightly and smirked “No, you look beautiful, breathtaking” Standing up from the bed, Riley closed the distance between you and cupped your cheeks with his hands, “You’re perfect, do you know that? Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky” His blue eyes’ scanned across your face, savoring the warm smile you offered him. 

“We both know you’re the perfect one” Standing on your tippy toes you pressed a soft peck on his lips and stated with a teasing smirk “Besides that’s the postcoital haze speaking”. 

Riley couldn’t hold back his chuckle when he replied “Trust me, bunny. Even though the sex is out of this world and you’ve ruined me for any other woman, what’s speaking right now is not the hormones but a four-letter word”

“Cake?” You teased again, giggling when Riley tickled your sides. 

“Smart ass. Fucking rude of you to ruin my wholesome moment” He playfully pouted 

“Awww, my poor baby. Will you feel better if I say that although I do love cake, I love you way more?”

“You love me more than you love cake? Damn, bunny, I’m flattered! I think I’m gonna cry”

Your laugh became louder when Riley tightened his grasp enough to crush you. “I love you, Ry”

“I love you more, bunny. More than you’ll ever know”

Jay’s patience was wearing thin, he didn’t want Lisa here, he never asked her to come nor had he allowed her to come. Seeing Lisa face to face solidified the hatred Jay already felt for the young woman, and such a feeling only seemed to grow inside him ever since you came to Japan. Being forced to face you every day and stare at the woman he’d lost only made Jay’s conscience weigh on the fact that not only he would probably never have you back, but he was also stuck with a woman he despised.

“Go get my son, please. I want to see him” Jay muttered, focusing on the task of setting up his toiletries on top of the bathroom sink. He needed to keep his focus on anything but Lisa’s face or else he would do something that would end his career and freedom.

“Not before you tell me what the fuck was she doing in here with you” Her tone did not leave room for doubt, she was incredibly pissed. Lisa was fuming with rage from the minute she saw you standing inside Jay’s hotel room.

“I’m not gonna ask you nicely again, Lisa. Just go get Charlie”. Jay was trying, he really was. To have Lisa in the same room as him and not punch her in the face took a whole lot of him and he knew that. Jay always despised men who hit women, to him they were nothing but cowards who were too scared to face someone their own size, but here’s the difference: Lisa isn’t a woman, she is a rat. A plague sent his way to end both his life and the patience he naturally lacked. 

“No” Lisa spits back, a mocking smile dancing across her lips. The jealousy she felt upon seeing the love and devotion written in Jay’s features as he stared down at you was too much for her to handle.

With an annoyed sigh, Jay reached for his phone in his back pocket and quickly tapped the number under the letter “K” in his contacts. “Hi, Keiko. Could you bring Charlie to my room, please? Yeah, same room as last week. Okay, thank you”. Without looking at Lisa, Jay stepped out of the bathroom and took two steps forward to the bedroom area.

Lisa felt her body shaking with rage, her chest was burning, a vein popped on her neck and a redness began to settle on her nape. “You can look at her as much as you want, Jay. But you’ll never have her back, I won’t let you choose her!” She called from behind him, following him into the room. She heard him chuckling from the bed where he was currently setting aside his dirty laundry.

“You won’t let me choose her? Aww, how cute” Jay mocked with a loud laugh before his cold, gray gaze settled in her face “Is it too late to let you know that I already chose her? I’ll always choose her!” Jay raised his hand up when Lisa started to protest “I know what you’re about to say, Lisa. And trust me, I know she won’t choose me again, definitely not after the biggest fuck up I’ve ever made in my entire life” His gaze intensified, silently making it clear that the last phrase was meant for her. “But I don’t care”, Jay continued, “She’s the only woman I’ll ever love. The only woman who owns my heart, my soul. I’ll always choose my honeybee over anyone! She’ll be my number-one choice until the day I die! And I suggest you start getting used to that” He finished with a bitter spat as someone knocked on the door, “Now, be useful for once and go open the door so I can be with the only joy you’ve ever managed to give me”.

After breakfast, Riley took you to one of the places you were excited to meet the most: Koishikawa Korakuen. The park was even more beautiful than you’d expected, its beauty completely breathtaking, like a livid painting before your eyes. Not even the best-resolution pictures online made justice to the astounding view. 

“Oh my god, Ry. This is beautiful!” You giggled, fascinated by your surroundings. 

“It truly is”, Riley agreed, as you turned around to find him intently staring at you. 

Shaking your head lightly, you felt like a teenager being complimented by her high school crush “Stop”. 

Riley smirked, pulling you closer to his body in a tight hug. He whispered softly against your lips “Never”, before delicately kissing the soft flesh. 

“I love you so much” was his next whisper once he broke the kiss. 

“I love you too, blue eyes” You smiled, giving one last peck on his lips before pulling him down to sit on the grass beside you. 

“Are you ok? You seem a little withdrawn and pensive this morning” You played with the longer strands of hair at Riley’s nape, “Did something happen?”

Huffing a laugh Riley focused on the lake before them, “How can I never hide anything from you?”, he felt the muscles on his neck tightening as the memories flooded his mind. 

“The argument between you, Jay, and Lisa earlier…I can’t get it out of my head” he began “I was coming back from the gym since I was feeling a bit weird, so I decided to go back to our room and when the elevator doors opened, I heard your voice and I just ran towards it…I thought” Riley looked up at the blue sky, mentally counting the clouds before continuing, “I don’t know what I thought, to be honest. I just heard your voice and then Lisa screaming so I guess I thought something bad was happening…I don’t fucking know what was I thinking, I just ran” Riley shook his head to try to get rid of the tightness on his neck.

Kneeling on the grass, you slowly placed yourself behind him. Positioning your right hand on Riley’s nape, you began to massage his neck as a way to help his pain. 

“That must’ve been scary for you” You kissed his cheek “I’m sorry, baby”. 

Riley laughed bitterly “I was shitting my pants”, he leaned his head back to rest it against your shoulder. “When I heard that fucking psycho bitch yelling like a lunatic I was scared that she may have done something to hurt you, I don’t know”. Riley grabbed your hand that was previously on his neck so he could intertwine your fingers. He pulled your hand down until your arm was stretched out on top of his torso, “When it comes to Jay she’s fucking clueless. She doesn’t care about who she hurts or what she has to do to keep him so I ran there because I didn’t want her to hurt you because of him”. Turning his face to the right, Riley placed a soft peck on the side of your neck. 

“My knight in shiny ring gear” You teased, making Riley chuckle while you placed your other arm on top of his torso. As you hugged him from behind, you whispered “Thank you for coming to my rescue and I’m sorry you got scared”. 

“It’s alright, bunny. I’m glad you’re ok” Riley poked your knees until you laughed. Finally sitting on the floor behind him and resting your back against a tree trunk, you pulled him back toward your body.

A few minutes of comfortable silence passed by until Riley spoke again, “Bunny, can I ask you a favor?”

“Of course, Ry”

“Can you stay away from Jay while you’re here? I don’t want Lisa to see you around him and do something stupid”

“Well, I can’t avoid randomly meeting him, Ry. Not when we are currently in the same place” You covered Riley’s lips with your hand as he began to protest, “But, I’ll do my best to not be around him, although it may not always work, I promise I’ll try to stay away from him”. 

Riley pecked the palm of your hand that still covered his lips before pulling your hand away from his mouth, “Thank you, bunny”. He lifted his head up for a kiss that you gladly gave him until a voice pulled you out of your cotton candy love haze. 

“Oh look who we have here, Charlie! The couple of the year!” Lisa chuckled, sarcasm dripping from her words as Jay approached her with a frown.

“You wouldn’t mind if we had a picnic beside you, right?” Her eyes gleamed with mischief as she didn't wait for a response to settle her things down on the grass beside you and Riley. 

#the beginning of the end series #jay white x reader #jay white imagine #jay white #el phantasmo imagine #el phantasmo x reader #elp imagine #elp x reader #el phantasmo #elp #masochist writes

[jessybarnes]

Just A Taste

Title: Just A Taste

Pairing: Steve Kemp x F!Reader

Rating: 18+ Only! Minors DNI!

Word Count: 1,643

Tags: Smut, angst, fluff, face riding, oral sex (female receiving), clit play, tongue fucking, kissing, crying, feelings of not being good enough, being held captive, out of character Steve, squirting, explicit language, and I think that’s it.

Written For: KINKMAS 2022

Day 1: Face Riding

Beta(s): Just Grammarly

A/N: Okay, so this was supposed to be posted on the 14th but because I received anon hate I decided to wait because I just wasn't feeling good about myself. I'm still not, but here this is anyway. I'm sorry it's bad. I know Steve is way out of character. Sorry, for my bad writing.

Steve opens the door to his cellar and heads down the stairs. His fingers wrap tightly around the key card as he exhales harshly through his nose. Today was stressful. Well, every day is, but today was even more so.

His shoes click methodically on the hard floor as he walks slowly toward your cell. The other ones are all empty except for two, but those women don't matter to him. Not in the way that you do.

You're...different.

From the day he saw you standing in line at the little deli he frequents, he was captivated by your beauty. He'd never seen someone so beautiful before in his life.

So beautiful, in fact, that he can't bring himself to use you the way he's used all of the other women he's captured. Every time he opens your cell door and sees those big, doe eyes of yours looking up at him, his stomach fills with butterflies.

Even on bad days like this, you bring a light to him that illuminates his darkness.

Steve can see you sitting cross-legged on the thin bed roll, a Cosmopolitan magazine open on your lap. You're chewing on your bottom lip, something he's noted as a habit of yours, and it makes arousal coil in his lower abdomen.

He raises the key card to unlock the door and slides it open. You look up and offer him a soft, nervous smile.

"H-Hi"

Steve smiles at the fear and innocence in your eyes. God, he loves the power he holds over you.

"Hey, sweetheart. Reading anything good?"

You look down at the magazine and move your gaze back to his. It really should disgust you that your attraction to your kidnapper outweighs your motivation to escape. There's no way he feels the same. At first, you'd thought that's why he hadn't harmed you, but now you're starting to think there's something else wrong with you.

You've been here for a long time now, and he still hasn't done what he said he do the first night he'd brought you here. Maybe you're not good enough for him now and he's just keeping you here as a prisoner because he's afraid you'll rat him out and ruin his whole operation.

Wow, I'm so undesirable not even the man who took me captive wants anything to do with me... how pathetic...

"Just the horoscope page," you say quietly.

The sadness in your tone doesn't go unnoticed and Steve realizes it's a different kind of sad. Not the kind he's used to anyway. He pushes off the doorframe and walks closer to you. His knees pop as he crouches down, his fingers tilting your chin up so you meet his eyes.

"Somethings wrong, and it isn't just because I've got you imprisoned in this room."

It isn't a question, but you know he means to ask what's bothering you. The lump in your throat rises and you're certain if you try and speak the dam inside you will break.

Your lower lip trembles and Steve brushes his thumb over it to keep it still. He watches as tears gather in your eyes and feels his heart constrict with another foreign feeling.

He's been angry before, but never this kind. This kind is new to him. This is a protective type of anger that makes his blood boil.

Steve sits down and pulls you into his lap. You curl into him as soft, quiet sobs shake your body. A deep scowl etches onto his features and even though he's the only one who's had any type of contact with you for the past two months, it still doesn't change the fact that he'd kill anyone who brought you harm.

...Oh...

That's when it dawns on him.

He's fallen for you.

Hard.

Your small voice breaks through your sobs and Steve wipes your tears away with his thumb as he looks down at you.

"Th-There's some...something wrong with m-me, isn't there?"

He shakes his head, "why would there be anything wrong with you? You're the least fucked up person in this house, Y/N."

You sniffle and adjust yourself so you're looking at him properly. He really is attractive, and you're so close to him. Close enough that you could just lean in and-

"Sweetheart?"

Your eyes fall to your lap along with your hands, the chain around your wrist jingling reminding you of where you're at. Maybe you do belong here if you're having sexual thoughts about your fucking abductor.

"Because," you sigh, "I've been in here for a long time and...and you've...well, you haven't...haven't um..."

You can't bring yourself to even say it, but Steve seems to get what you're trying to tell him. He tilts your chin back up again and for the first time in a long time, he actually looks sincere.

"You think because I haven't done to you what I've done to the others that you're not good enough?"

You nod and he swallows thickly. He's normally desensitized to seeing women cry, but with you, it's like someone's torn open a wound in the middle of his chest. He can't stand it and he can't help himself as he leans down to capture your lips in a heated kiss.

You gasp and he takes the opportunity to slide his tongue past your lips into your warm, wet mouth. He kisses you fiercely, his arms holding you tightly against him, and for a moment you actually believe he wants this...wants you.

Steve pulls away and you search his eyes for a moment before speaking up.

"I...don't...I don't understand... how come-"

He shushes you with another kiss and taps your thigh so you'll get up. He stands with you and pulls a set of keys from his pocket, the same sincere expression still on his face.

"We'll talk more later, baby. Right now, I've gotta taste you, and I need you somewhere more comfortable for that."

The look of horror on your face catches him off guard, but he quickly recovers and shakes his head, his hands cupping your cheeks tenderly.

"Oh, angel, I didn't mean it like that. I promise I'm not going to harm one hair on that pretty, little head of yours."

He pulls you flush against him, one of his large hands sliding underneath the elastic band of your sweatpants.

"What I meant was," two of his fingers apply delicious pressure on your clit making your breath hitch, "I wanna taste this sweet, little cunt, Y/N."

Heat pools in your belly at his words, and you let yourself feel the way the pads of his fingers roll over your sensitive bud. He removes them just as quickly and you let out a little whine in protest.

"Don't be impatient," he admonishes and unlocks the cuff on your wrist.

Steve leads you out of the cell and down the long hallway. You come to a set of stairs and he climbs them, unlocking the door at the top with his key card before taking you through the main part of his house. His bedroom is cozy and neat, but you don't get a chance to really look at it because, in the next second, he's practically tearing your clothes off.

"So sweet...so pretty and innocent, baby. I bet your pussy tastes like heaven."

Steve lays down on the bed and tilts his head back so he can look at you. His cock tents his pants and your mouth waters at the thought of him fucking your throat.

"Come here, princess. Come sit on my face and let me taste you."

You climb over him, your knees just above each of his shoulders. He groans and wraps his arms around your thighs as he looks up at your glistening pussy.

"Fucking soaked, baby."

He pulls you down and drags his tongue from your soaked hole to your hard clit, sending a shockwave of pleasure through your body.

"Oh, fuck! Steve!"

He begins to devour you, switching from slipping his tongue inside your pussy and sucking on your sensitive nub. You start to rock your hips and whine when he holds you still.

Steve's insatiable.

He can't get enough of the way you taste, the way your dripping cunt clenches around his tongue every time he pushes it inside you. He's instantly addicted and he's determined to see how many times he can make you cum just from his mouth alone.

"Oh, my god! Fuck! Please!... Steve, I...it feels so fucking good, baby."

He lifts you up and looks up into your eyes, "ride my face, princess. Make yourself cum all over my fucking tongue."

You moan loudly and roll your hips, the sensation of his mouth on your pussy making you toss your head back in pleasure.

Your hands grip his hair and you move your cunt faster across his tongue, the spark of arousal now a full-blown inferno as you climb closer and closer to pure bliss.

Steve grips your ass and flicks his tongue faster, his name falling past your lips over and over in a desperate plea.

"Steve! Oh, God Steve! Please! Steve, you're so good...fuck, m'gonna cum you're so fucking good, baby!"

Your legs begin to shake and moments later the coil inside you snaps as you gush all over him. He growls possessively and takes everything you give him until you're too sensitive.

Steve rolls you over so you're on your back, his body caging you in.

"I'm gonna need you to do that again, baby."

Your eyes go wide, "Steve, I don't think that's possible. I'm too sensitive and-"

"Nonsense," he cuts you off and kisses down your body, a smirk dancing across his lips, it's definitely possible, princess."

He kisses your clit and you suck in a sharp breath.

"And you're gonna give me as many as I want."

Tag List: @madashatters18 @sarahrogersevans @chrisevansdaughter @nana1000night @pono-pura-vida @ejshellsiteofsins @imyourbratzdoll

#j snow writes #kinkmas 2022 #steve kemp #brendan steven kemp #steve kemp x you #steve kemp x reader #brendan steven kemp x you #brendan steven kemp x reader #fresh movie #fresh #steve kemp fanfiction #steve kemp fic #steve kemp fanfic #steve kemp smut #steve kemp angst #steve kemp fluff #brendan steven kemp smut #brendan steven kemp angst #brendan steven kemp fluff

[cowgurrrl]

Me and the Devil

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (except this is all backstory)

Author’s note: this took way too long to finish but I’m gonna finish this prequel even if it kills me

Summary: “You are shaking fists and trembling teeth. I know: You did not mean to be cruel. That does not mean you were kind.” [3.9k]

Warnings: questionable character motives all around, language, reader being a badass because I said so, Adam and reader both being assholes

2005

The sun breaking through the cracked glass of your window wakes you. The beam splinters and hits your face. It would almost be gentle and welcome if it weren't for the heavy body next to yours. He slept over. Again. You sigh and open your eyes to see Adam's back turned to you. You can make out the deep scar between his ribs, the gnarled skin catching the light when he lays like this. You want to shove him awake, yell at him for spending the night when he knows he's not supposed to, and storm out of the room. You don't. 

Instead, you shift your weight on the bed, swinging your bare legs to press into the cold floor. The creaking of the bed is enough to stir him awake. He turns to face you, but you don't meet his eyes. You reach for a shirt lying on the floor and decide it's clean enough to pull over your head. "Don't go," Adam snakes an arm around your waist and kisses your shoulder, whining into your skin.

"I have to." You say, shaking your head and wiggling out of his grasp. He slumps back into the mattress but watches you curiously as you dress. He's pretty like this, you think to yourself. His hair is messy, and his eyes shine in the otherwise colorless room. You look away quickly. "You can't keep falling asleep here. Jane's gonna see."

"She already sees me every day. Is it really that big of a deal for her to see me in the morning?"

"It is when you're leaving my room." You leave no room for argument in your tone, and he drops it. You glance at the alarm clock on your nightstand as you pull your gun from the top drawer and start putting it back together. "Jane'll be up soon. If she asks, you got here before I left. I should be home before curfew. Her lunch is already packed and-"

"And there's breakfast in the fridge. I know," He finishes for you, and you give him a look. "You gonna tell me what you're doing today?" He asks as you shove your newly loaded magazine into the gun. You stand and tuck it in your waistband. 

"Tell Jane I love her." 

"Always." He says as you leave your bedroom, closing the door quietly behind you. You hesitate outside Jane's room, debating on peeking your head in to see her before you leave but decide against it. That doesn't mean your heart doesn't ache when you walk away from her. 

The streets are already filling up when you step outside your apartment building. Swarms of FEDRA with heavy guns pace the roads, looking up at the rooftops like they're waiting for the sky to fall. Tensions between FEDRA and the Fireflies are worsening, with them taking turns attacking each other and not caring who gets caught in the crossfire. Even if the boots marching through broken glass didn't make it hard enough to cross over the wall, Fireflies and informants have been filling in the cracks. Last Monday, one of your neighbors ratted on someone else in the building for being a Firefly. They were both dead by Thursday. 

It's been a weird couple of years. Jane has only gotten bigger, stronger, and more beautiful as she ages. She doesn't know you're smuggling supplies through the border. She just knows you have a job. She stopped asking when you were going home after you moved into your FEDRA-assigned apartment but then came the questions about everything else. When were her classmates coming back to school? Was her dad going to show up like her friend Lucy's dad did? What about your mom? Did you miss your Mommy? These were all questions you knew you would have to grapple with, but they slap you in the face all at once. You hadn't spoken to your mom or Matt since Jane was a baby. You still don't know if either of them is alive.

Things with Adam... just happen. You weren't planning on fucking him when you met in the shelter that first week, but you did, and it's continued. He conveniently ends up living three apartments down from yours, making it easy to sneak past Jane's bedroom door without waking her up. You tell yourself it's stress relief, something to remind you you're still human. He hates it, but he's stopped trying to argue with you. Besides, there are much worse things you two could be doing. He goes back to teaching, somehow making less money than before, and takes Jane to and from school. He's content. At least, that's what he tells you. You don't push. 

You walk past familiar faces, people you've dealt to or with for cards, and keep your head down as the city wakes up around you. Their eyes are hollowed and angry. It's suffocating to look at them for too long, like their anger for you and the world at large will wrap its bloody claws around your throat until you go limp. You feel the same way when you look in the mirror. You shake the feeling away and duck between buildings, checking over your shoulder to make sure nobody's following you. Through the overgrowth and debris, you find the opening in the wall and squeeze yourself through.

You meet a group of smugglers from the nearby QZ at the old Shell station a few miles outside the walls. They're good people or, at least, good enough. They warn you of FEDRA cracking down on curfew, some even shooting on sight if they catch you out as you exchange goods. You've been smuggling with them for about a year now. They don't point guns in your face anymore, and you're able to exchange somewhat pleasant small talk with them. When clothes Jane's size discreetly land in your drop, you respond by finding seeds or meat when you can come by it. You nod in wordless gratitude before turning on your heels and making your way back to the QZ. 

You pass craters left behind by the bombs and the saplings desperately trying to push through the soil like the greenery could make the destruction beautiful. You've made it a habit to not look at the bottom of the indents in the earth for too long, finding bodies or Cordyceps growing in spiny, long vines. Sometimes, you'll catch the glint of a stray gun or knife. None of it makes you feel any better about being out here alone, and remembering Jane is back in the QZ makes you grip your gun tighter and walk faster. You're not allowed to die out here. Not when she's waiting for you to come home. 

You've heard stories of people trying to survive outside the QZs. The successful ones wouldn't be stupid enough to shout about it from the rooftops, and those who aren't are usually found months, if not years, after their deaths. FEDRA has made it abundantly clear they aren't responsible for whatever happens outside the walls, but the idea of you and Jane outside the walls on your own feels a hell of a lot better than waiting to get pushed out or killed. You've thought about going west and building a house or reclaiming an old one for the two of you. Somewhere in the woods where you could protect her from raiders and Infected and listen to her reciting her own stories from memory. It could be beautiful. You could make it beautiful for her. 

You don't think you'd ever actually do it, though. She just got comfortable in the QZ. You couldn't pick her up and move her again, at least not without fielding a million questions from the depths of her brain. Plus, you have a good thing going. You don't have to worry about food, shelter, or money for long periods; even if you do, you work shitty jobs and provide for her. Who knows what would happen if you took her out there? It's not worth the risk. If it means she's safe, you'll spend the rest of your life in a QZ.

When you cross through the wall again, the sun is high in the sky. You spot Owen as you walk down the street, but he barely looks your way per his training. Still, he bumps you with his shoulder in a gesture that would look hostile to outside eyes, but you know it's his way of letting you know he sees you. Owen has become somewhat of a permanent fixture in your life. He mostly just keeps you up to date on FEDRA happenings and what to look out for, even buying pills off you every so often. You like to believe he's one of the good ones, but you can't be sure. You're not necessarily looking to stick around when things get violent between civilians and FEDRA, so you never see how he handles it.

Once you're sure Owen is far enough away, you duck into an old warehouse just a few blocks from your apartment building. You have to climb three floors before you even sense the tiniest signs of life, but empty cans aren't the best indicator anyone lives here. Why that old man likes to hide out here is beyond you. You turn the corner and find him sitting at a makeshift desk with papers stacked around him and nursing a glass of liquor despite it being the afternoon. 

"Well, if it ain't my favorite girl," Lee announces, looking at you over his glasses, and you roll your eyes as you drop your backpack on the table across from his desk. "Drop go well?"

"Well enough." You say, pulling the supplies from your bag and dropping them on his desk. Ammunition, cans of food, a first-aid kit, and pills. Lots and lots of pills. He counts everything as you unload it, making sure you get everything you're supposed to. 

For the most part, you're independent in your smuggling. You don't rely on anyone to come with you or protect you, but sometimes having a little help organizing is nice. Lee does that organizing. Offering you under-the-table jobs when he has them or setting you up with a new, better smuggling group from another QZ. He gets a little bit of the drop, and you get thrown a few extra notes for your work. He's nice and reminds you a little of an old teacher you had who was especially kind to you when you had Jane. You find a small, leather-bound notebook at the bottom of the bag. 

"What's that?" Lee asks as you hold it in your hands, smiling to yourself. 

"Notebook for Janey." You say, remembering how you gave Natalie a message Lee accidentally scribbled on the back of one of Jane's stories. She didn't ask who wrote the story, but you didn't have to tell her. As you tuck the notebook safely in your backpack, you make a mental note to find something nice for her group.

"How is she?" Lee breaks your train of thought. You shake your head as you zip up your bag and throw it over your shoulder. 

"You got any new jobs for me?"

"Yeah, I've got a job for you." He sighs as he sifts through different papers until he finds the one he's looking for. He hands it to you to read, and you barely skim the first few sentences before you look at him, dropping the file back down to the desk. 

"I'm not doing this, Lee."

"Guy asked me to give it to the person I trust the most."

"I don't give a shit what he asked you to do. This is murder for hire. You realize that, right? You're asking me to kill someone for money. I could get fucking hung for this." 

"It'd be more than enough money to last you the next six months. Get Jane some new shoes or books. Maybe even get you a new gun since that old one's goin' to shit, and we both know it," he jerks his head in the direction of the gun hiding in your waistband as he crosses his arms over his chest. "You wouldn't have to worry about food for a while." He incentivizes further, and you take a deep breath. 

"How much money are we talking about?" You ask, and he slides you a bulky envelope full of ration cards. He's right. This is at least six months of smuggling wages. You could take time off. Give your broken ribs actual time to heal. You bite the inside of your cheek as you look between Lee and the cards, debating your options. "Who's the target?" 

"Weapons dealer. Word on the street is he killed his girlfriend. Her brother wants him dead."

"If he wants it done so bad, why doesn't he do it himself?"

"He tried. He's in lockup for it right now. Might even make it to the gallows if FEDRA doesn't beat the shit out of him first." He says. Well, that explains why there's so much money on the table. If you'll be dead by the end of the week, what's the point in keeping it for yourself? Still, you can't stop the humorless laugh from leaving you at the new information.

"And now you want me to be the one to kill him? After this guy's already in trouble for trying it?" You ask, and Lee leans forward in his chair to level with you.

"He went at the guy with a fucking shiv. He's not exactly the expert you are. One shot to the head as he's walking home. We'll even make it look like it was the Fireflies." Before you can even start to argue with him, he pulls a metal contraption out from a drawer in his desk. A smoke bomb. It won't hurt anyone, but it'll disorient them. One cry in favor of freeing the QZ after the shot fires, and it'd be pretty easy to get away while FEDRA scrambles for the nearest Firefly or the nearest person who looks like a Firefly. You stare at the warped, egg-shaped bomb on Lee's desk and think about getting to walk Jane to school instead of leaving Adam to do it. Even if it's just for a few months, that's more time than you've gotten with Jane in the past three months. "Guy said he should be walking back to his apartment by five. Apparently, you can't miss him 'cause he's got a huge tattoo on his face. He'll be coming from Area 5. You can get the drop on him and be home before the sun goes down."

"Fuck," you mumble under your breath, and Lee smirks. "This is the only one. Don't give me this shit again." 

"Whatever you say, princess." He says as he hands you the envelope full of cards and the smoke bomb. You might be the only person in the world he trusts to pay before the job is done. It's not something you take lightly. You tuck both inside your jacket as you start heading to Area 5. 

Technically, you shouldn't be allowed to travel between Areas as often as you do, but because Owen forged your paperwork, you get through without much trouble. You've been pulled aside for interrogation once in the past two years, but Owen bailed you out before they could get any word from you. The FEDRA agent probably thought you two were fucking. You don't really care. What you care about is making sure you get home to your kid. 

That's your only thought as you climb the fire escape to the rooftop of a building that faces the main street through Area 5. You can't explain what happens as you watch the streets and listen to the sirens about curfew get louder and louder. Someone fitting Lee's description will walk out of a building at any moment, and you'll kill him, just like that. The money feels like it's burning in your jacket, and you focus on your conversation with Jane before she went to bed last night. 

She asked you to lie with her before you could get too far away, something she never does anymore, and you smiled and nodded. You wrapped her up in your arms, running a hand through her hair as you quietly lay together. She's gotten taller since you've been in the QZ, her neck craning to fit under your chin, but it felt familiar. "Tell me about before." She requested quietly. You took a deep breath and pressed a kiss to her temple. 

"What d'you wanna know?" You asked. She shifted in your arms, smooshing her face into your chest like she was trying to meld her body into yours. 

"Everything." She said. Your mind ran through memories like a Rolodex, searching for the right things to tell her. Things were better back then but by how much? We were still at war. People were still starving. The government wasn't prepared to help you then either. You especially lost years of your life to school, work, and worrying about if you'd be able to keep the heat on in the winter. But she didn't know any of that. She didn't remember it. She barely remembers Outbreak Day. This, the QZ, is all she knows. So, like any good parent would, you lied. Isn't it better for her to fall asleep to stories of wildflowers and sunshine than warfare and death? 

Someone exits a building with a fierce tattoo covering half of their face. He's big with a bandage covering the side of his head where you're sure his girlfriend's brother tried to stab him. You flip your safety, aim, and remember Jane's voice when she asked you to tell her everything as your finger squeezes the trigger. The bullet sings through the air and soars through his skull. He probably didn't feel anything. It's the most merciful death you could give him. There's a mess of screams and sprinting feet as you throw the smoke bomb down the street and shout for freedom. You don't remember how you got there, but you walk up to your apartment once the streets have darkened enough for you to safely get in. 

There's a single light on when you turn the key in the lock and find Adam sitting on the couch, his leg shaking anxiously. He immediately looks up to see you coming in and locking the door, but you don't so much as glance in his direction. You're exhausted, and the last thing you want is to explain to him where you were all day.

"Is she asleep?" You ask, your voice trembling involuntarily as you put your backpack on the table and peel off your jacket. You're about to open your mouth to ask again like he didn't hear you the first time, but his annoyed look tells you everything you need to know.

"You're late." 

"Is my daughter asleep?" You snap, tugging your gun from your waistband and pulling the magazine out. Adam stands and rips the magazine out of your hand before you can process his actions. He spills the bullets on the table and starts counting them without regard for how loudly the metal clinks together. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Your gun had fifteen bullets in it this morning. There are only fourteen now." He says, and you scoff as you grab the bullets off the table and tuck them in your backpack.

"You're tracking my ammunition now?"

"You get packs of thirty, but your handgun only holds fifteen. Who did you shoot?"

"Are you serious, Adam?" You ask. "I didn't shoot anybody. I must've miscounted or something this morning. Left one behind."

"Do you think I'm stupid? Do you think I don't know what you do when you leave?" He's awfully accusatory for someone who practically begged you to stay in bed with him this morning. You roll your eyes and push past him to check on Jane. You can have this conversation after seeing your daughter's face for the first time all day. "You think Jane doesn't know?" It stops you in your track. Anger radiates behind your molars as you whip around to face him.

"How would she know, huh? You have no fucking proof." 

"Mrs. Carmichael said she saw you cross the wall this morning. Asked me if I knew anything about it. I lied and said it wasn't you to keep you alive and off FEDRA radar," he throws up his arms as if to say, 'I told you so.' You sigh and know you've been caught. "You're a smuggler." He says the word like it's dirty, and you shrug.

"It's better than being a raider or FEDRA, and you've never been worried about where my money was coming from before." 

"They could kill you."

"If they kill me, they kill their supplier," you say. "I've worked this system for way longer than you think. There's no way they'd touch me now." His shoulders relax a little, and you take the opportunity to turn back to Jane's door and quietly open it. You step into her room and listen for her even breathing and make out the shape of her sleeping body through the darkness. You tiptoe to her bed and stare at her as she dreams, her eyebrows pinching slightly as she does. You smile and smooth the hair out of her face to kiss her forehead. She stirs a little and opens her eyes enough to see you before closing them again and smiling.

"Hi, Mommy." She mumbles. 

"Hi, baby," you rub her back to lull her back to sleep. "Just wanted to see you before I went to bed."

"Missed you today."

"I missed you too, but I'm not working tomorrow, so I can take you to school." You whisper, but she's already asleep again before you can finish your sentence. A piece of your heart breaks knowing you can't talk to her until tomorrow, but you find your feet and walk out of the room. You're barely finished closing her door when Adam speaks again.

"I want to do it with you." He says, and you furrow your eyebrows at him.

"Normally, there are sexier ways of asking."

"No," he sighs. "I want to smuggle with you." 

"No," you say, walking down the hallway to your bedroom. He follows, no matter how much you wish he wouldn't. "You'll get us both killed."

"You said FEDRA can't touch you."

"FEDRA doesn't mean shit once you get outside the walls. There are Infected, raiders, and other smugglers."

"You could teach me." He says, and you give him a look.

"Five minutes ago, you were appalled at learning what I really do, and now suddenly, you want to do it, too?" 

"You can't keep doing this alone. What happens if you get in trouble? Or if you get stuck out there, and we have no way of knowing? How are we supposed to find you?"

"I know how to take care of myself."

"I'm not saying you can't. I'm asking you to let me help you. At the very least, let me come once to learn your route." You want to believe him and his quick turnaround of attitude, but something feels off. If you say no, will he report you? Get you thrown in lockup and potentially executed? Then, what? He just plays Dad to Jane for the rest of his life. Over your dead fucking body. So, despite the sinking feeling in your stomach and the giant alarm flashing "NO" in your brain, you nod.

"You better not make me regret this, Lowery."

#when you’re lost in the darkness #look for the light prequel #the last of us x reader #the last of us angst #tlou series #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller the last of us #joel miller series

[purpleanimeturtle]

Cause For Concern

Chapter two of my 2012 Caseytello fic! I don't know how long this will go on for but, I have many ideas. I am also going to start posting some of my art soon!

Casey’s P.O.V. 

Our laughing stopped as we watched Donnie sprint out of the dojo, promptly slamming their lab door behind them.

“Great job Casey, now we won’t see him for like two days.” Raph claimed.

“What?” I turned to look at him, “does this happen a lot?”

Leo took a step forward and placed one of her hands on my shoulder, looking past me.

“I’m sure it wasn’t all you, they mainly just do it if they're overwhelmed.” She looked at Raph, and even with her still not looking at me I could see the concern in her eyes.

“Well,” Raph started. “This time it was clearly from Casey!” 

Now if I said that I wasn't confused before, I definitely was now. I never thought that my flirting really had anything to do with their attitude lately. Maybe I embarrassed them though? But this seems like a real cause for concern.

“No, my children. Donatello just has some things they need to figure out.” Splinter paused. “Emotions that they aren’t sure about.”

Leo steps back as Splinter takes his spot, startling me.

“Perhaps Casey should talk to them. Hm?”

I looked up at the rat man. “Yo, I don’t know if that is such a good idea, I mean like what if they try to get revenge or something.”

“Pft- like they would dude.” Mikey laughed. “Do you really not know yet?” 

“Not now Michelangelo, you go check on them.” 

“You got it Sensei!”

And with that the orange turtle was also gone.

Leo and Splinter sat down to talk and most likely meditate, kicking out Raph and I in the process. So we just went to the entrance/living room of the lair and talked, awaiting the arrival of the other family members.

“What was that anyway man?” I looked up at Raph as he said that. “You were like a major cringe fail.” Raph stated with a look of disgust on his features.

“C’mon man.” I whined as I stretched out my limbs.

“I’m serious Casey, you aren’t going to get anywhere with how you're going about it.”

I gave him a look that told him to elaborate, so he did.

“Don and I are like twins so we know everything about each other. And to get them to melt like you want, you have to massage their intellect.”

“Massage their what?” I stared at him blankly.

“Look.” He sighed, “the smarter they feel, the more they’ll melt. Complement them dude.”

“Y’know I can’t do that!” I threw my hands up dramatically. “Everytime that I try to, it just becomes an insult.”

“Or maybe you should write it down and get them a gift. That’s their love language.”

I shot up at that, jumping off of the couch.

“Y’know what, I will be back.”

I started to walk to the turn thingies but the sight of two turtle mutants made me rush back to my original spot, then moved again by the orange clad turtle who plopped down basically on me. Donnie on the other hand just stood there awkwardly probably waiting for Splinter or Leo.

I took careful note of their fidgeting, how their three (6 if you count both hands) fingers messed with about everything they could before finally landing on their mask tails. The light purple seemingly dancing between the light green of their skin.

Oh how much I wanted to know what their hands felt like. They have clear burns and scars, but something about them just seemed so soft and warm and. I don’t know.

“You gonna be okay Don?” Raph was the first to speak which was followed by a hesitant nod from the mentioned sibling. “You can sit down y’know, you don’t really look too good.” 

If this was any other time the turtle in red would’ve followed that up with a snicker, but I took note of the lack of one. 

See, I can be very observant when needed.

“Casey, could I talk to you for a moment?”

Wow, a cliffhanger! Who wants to talk to Casey? We may never know. Hope you enjoyed it, stay tuned. <3

#jonatello #caseytello #casey jones #donatello #tmnt 2012 #named after songs #gay #nonbinary #anti tcest #tmnt leo 2012 #tmnt raph 2012 #tmnt mikey 2012 #tmnt donnie 2012 #Youtube

[oliverreedmasterass]

I'm SO excited to share this collab I did with the unbelievably hilarious @jmkho!!

Words: 4.7k

Synopsis: GVF make their way to a haunted house for shits and giggles. If you've read Alex (@jmkho) and I's stories before, I think you know where this is headed...

Warnings: language, mentions of paranormal and supernatural events, blood

👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃

“Jesus,” Sam let out as they stood observing the house. It looked like any regular old mansion. Nothing screamed out ‘haunted house’ to him and he hated that. 

“What?” Josh questioned his younger brother as he stood tapping an annoyed foot on the ground with his hands on his hips. 

“Just…not very Halloweeny is it? I mean if you’re gonna make a haunted house and have people walk through it….put some effort in and throw some webs around. Lazy.” 

“Well, I found this on Groupon and thought, hey, we haven’t done something like this for a long time. Might as well get haunted a little!” Josh wiggled his eyebrows at the rest of them. “It would have been cool to try to find a listing for a real haunted house or like a haunted cabin, or even ship. Hell, I’d even take a haunted shed at this point. But it sounds like a ball of laughs to explore around.” Josh paused and sighed. He studied the house and couldn’t help but agree with Sam over the lackluster outside. Not even a pumpkin or a fake skeleton in place. Careless.

“I’m too brave for haunted houses,” Sam confidently stated. “I’ve never been in one that’s scared me before, I just don’t think it’s possible. You obviously wasted your money on this, Josh. It’s not gonna be worth it.”

“Sam,” Danny tried to quiet him, since it was evident he was upsetting Josh. 

“I mean, with haunted houses, you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all, right?” Sam looked around at everyone with his eyebrows raised. “Like you have rats, cobwebs, and moaning noises. How is that scary? That’s just what Jake’s room looks like.” 

“Hey!” Jake protested. 

“Haunted houses are a cash grab. If I really want to get spooked, I’ll just look up photos of Mick Fleetwood. That guy looks like he has a lot of secrets that he needs to keep to himself.” 

Everyone stared blankly at Sam, unsure what to say in response to his monologue, and then shuffled to the front entrance to explore. The door creaked as they opened it, and that in itself was enough to get 5 stars from Josh and reconsider his initial disappointment. Nice that they committed to the experience and made the doors creaky. He was excited to add that detail to his review.

The place was huge. A gorgeous, mahogany staircase was the first thing that greeted them as they got through the door. Danny let out a whistle. “Wow.”

“Still no cobwebs,” was all Sam added, not hiding the fact that he wasn’t impressed or happy.

“Shall we look around? Get a feel of the place?” Josh asked, beaming a huge smile. He didn’t wait for anyone to agree; he just turned and skipped to the stairs.

Jake followed after him along with Sam, who let out a sigh, and then Danny, who was eyeing around the house.

“I call the master bedroom!” Sam suddenly called out, pushing his brothers and Danny out of the way so he could book it to the largest room. 

“Sam!” Danny yelled after him. “We aren’t staying here. We’re only supposed to walk around.” 

“Hey,” Sam paused in his tracks to face Danny. “If I paid to get inside this place, you best believe I’m gonna be crashing here. Especially if they have Sleep Number mattresses.” 

“I was the one who paid for our tickets though,” Josh mumbled to himself. 

“Enjoy sleeping in your twin beds with creaky bed frames, peasants,” Sam called over his shoulder as he fled down the hallway, out of sight. 

“How does Sam not know what a haunted house is?” Danny asked Josh and Jake. Josh shrugged, and Jake wiped his hand down his face. 

“He does know. The guy just won’t pass up on a good Sleep Number mattress.” 

While they waited for Sam to return, Danny and Josh scoured around the area and Jake tried to play Candy Crush on his phone. He was nowhere close to beating his high score though because he kept getting distracted by cold chills that were rippling through the room. 

“They’ve got a weird AC in this place,” Jake commented, not bothering to look up from his phone at the ghost that was chilling right in front of him, watching his Candy Crush game with wide eyes. 

Sam returned from “his” bedroom and let his intrusive thoughts win, body checking Josh so he nearly toppled to the floor with a loud “MAMA!” 

“Bump into me one more time, I dare-“ Josh let out but stopped when a door down the hall slammed shut.

Josh and Jake let out a scream that would put Ned Flanders to shame, but Sam rolled his eyes and cupped a hand to his mouth. “Gotta do better than that!!”

Jake started counting everyone.

No one was missing, so who shut the door?

Danny leaned towards the twins as they stared at the door. “Someone must have used magnets to do that. Easy to do, I bet. Nice little gag to make the door slam at random moments.”

Josh smiled softly to his friend and then grinned. “Nice little magnet magic!” Jake laughed and agreed but still eyed the door with concern.

“I’ll be back in a second,” Josh excused himself, jutting his thumb back towards the bathrooms they had passed near the main entrance. “Gotta do the ‘biz.’” 

“Just say you’re gonna take a shit, Josh, we won’t judge you,” Jake told him. 

“I will,” Sam countered, raising his hand. Josh looked between his brothers, shook his head, and hurried away. Jake watched his twin leave and then, without a word to Sam and Danny, turned on his heel and wandered away. 

“Okay, bye, I guess?” Danny called after him. Jake didn’t acknowledge him and disappeared into a room. “You’re not gonna leave me too, are you?” Danny turned to Sam. 

“You afraid?” Sam smirked at him. Danny folded his arms across his chest. 

“Absolutely not,” Danny protested. 

“Yeah, alright, buddy,” Sam chuckled. 

Danny and Sam strolled down the hallway. “- but then it was the perfect way -” Danny stopped talking as they both came to a halt. The ghostly figure of a man glided across the hallway in front of them.

“Oh my fucking god!” Danny let out in a hushed tone, frozen in place. What magnets could do that? Gotta be an actor. Magnets can’t do that. 

“I know right…” Sam replied in an equally hushed tone before letting out very loudly, “Look at them shoes! The size of those buckles? What is the point of them? Honestly? And that jacket colour with those pants? Did you get dressed in the dark?”

The ghostly man turned to look at them, seeming offended beyond anything. How dare they!

“Or did you just put on whatever fell out of your wardrobe?”

As Sam finished that, the man let out a loud snarl and began to rush at them. Danny was concerned that the actor would end up falling over at the speed he was moving. Sam let out a loud yawn.

Back in the bathroom, Josh finished his thirty minute hair routine to get his curls back into perfect, fluffy shape. 

“There we go,” Josh murmured to himself as he raked his fingers through his poof. “Fucking gorgeous.” He paused and gaped at the mirror. Letters began to slowly scrawl across the mirror in what looked to be blood. Josh watched the letters spell “GET OUT” and then glared. 

Jake, Sam, and Danny were hanging out in the kitchen, playing with the old fashioned toaster, when they heard muttered curses approaching along with small stomps of feet.

“YOU FUCKWITS,” Josh hollered.

The rest of the guys watched as he appeared in the room. “WHOEVER WROTE THAT ON THE MIRROR, GO FUCK YOURSELF. I’M SORRY BUT MAKING MY HAIR LOOK THIS GOOD TAKES TIME! DON’T TELL ME TO GET OUT…..YOU GET OUT!” His hands were balled up at his sides as his face turned red from the sheers rudeness of them not understanding how much work it took for him to make his hair look so fucking fabulous. They didn’t have the balls to understand.

Jake stared at his twin, completely confused. He knew for a fact not to fuck around with Josh as his hair time. Hell, he learned his lesson about that eons ago….

“What the hell are you going on about?” Sam asked out.

“One of you wrote ‘get out’ on the mirror as I was fixing my hair,” Josh tousled the front of his hair for emphasis as the rest of the guys stared at him.

Jake’s face paled, but Danny smiled at Josh and shook his head. 

“They’ve really put a lot of thought into this haunted house. They must have been using magnets on the other side of the mirror for you to see the words written out.” 

“It would have been a lot scarier if they wrote out Josh’s social security number,” Sam said as he crossed his arms and shook his head with disappointment. Josh thought over Danny’s explanation and let his tense shoulders relax. 

“Whoever was using those magnets had really good penmanship,” he commented, smiling off into space. Then he snapped back to reality. “So, what have you all been up to?”

“For the thirty minutes you were gone?” Jake ridiculed Josh. “Well, I bumped into Clive and he was telling me about the house.” Jake smiled.

Danny looked at Josh whose eyebrows were furrowed.

“Clive? Who’s Clive?”

Jake lifted a hand and gestured to the house. “You know…Clive! Really nice guy, kinda looks sick and pale, but good bloke. He was talking to me about the house. He was in the living room just sort of…standing in the corner staring at me.”

Danny nodded and let out a loud, “ahhh” before adding. “Okay so there’s more than one paid actor. Nice.” He smiled broadly. He was beginning to really appreciate how committed the haunted house people were to trying to scare them.

Suddenly, Josh let out a grunt and flung through the air, tumbling down the flight of stairs. 

“Oh my god!” Danny cried out in horror as he watched his small friend do a flip midair. Beside him, Jake and Sam laughed at their brother’s fall. Josh leapt back to his feet at the bottom of the stairs and brushed some dirt off his jumpsuit. 

“Did you see that?!” He called up to them. “Something threw me down the stairs!”

Danny looked around and realized that everyone was staring at him, waiting for an explanation. Sam raised an eyebrow at him, as if saying, well?

“Magnets,” Danny finally answered, even though internally he was screaming with fear. “It’s gotta be magnets.” 

“Of course,” Josh chuckled. He climbed back up the stairs with ease and rejoined his friends. “The people running this haunted house sure do have a sense of humor.”  

Despite everything that was kicking off, Sam decided he had enough. He was tired. And a tired Sam wasn’t a happy Sam.

“Right, I’m gonna retire and hit the hay, count sheep, head for slumber, pass out, head to Bedfordshire, go to-“

“We get it, but it’s only 2 p.m,” Danny cut him off. He watched in confusion as his friend waved a hand in the air before trudging off to his ‘suite.’

Danny, Jake, and Josh all stood there for a moment lost at what to do. Do they try to sleep? It was still day time! And after the stuff that had just happened, Josh was antsy to fix his hair again.

“GUYS!”

Sam’s voice broke their silence. They quickly ran over to where they heard him. He was standing stiff outside a bedroom, staring inside.

“Do you see it?” Sam asked them.

“What? Is the feng shui not to your liking?” Jake’s taunting voice went quiet as he joined his younger brother and looked into the room. The bed was spinning around on the spot while numerous items floated in the air.

Sam stomped into the room. Laughter was heard coming from somewhere as everything flew around. He walked to the bed, yanked up a clown doll and returned back to the guys in the doorway. “This! You see this? Tacky! He’s been laughing the entire time and he won’t shut the fuck up! He doesn’t even run on batteries or a pully thing.” He moved the doll to Danny and shook it. “Magnet boy, explain this and get him to shut up.”

Danny’s mouth opened and closed a few times at the sight in front of him. But all he could let out was, “those are some powerful magnets.”

Jake spun around in a full circle looking for his twin, and then stopped when he spotted Josh. 

“Oh,” Jake breathed out as he watched Josh ride around the room on a floating lamp like a bull, waving his fist in the air and hooting with glee. 

“YEEHAWWWW!” Josh called out before breaking into a ridiculously out of tune rendition of “Home on the Range.” Jake gazed at him in awe as Josh did barrel rolls in the air on his lamp. 

Sam, entirely ignoring his brother’s spectacle, impatiently nudged Danny in the side. Danny grunted in return. 

“You need to get rid of the clown doll,” Sam told him, nodding his head in its direction. “I don’t like the way it’s looking at me.” 

“That’s literally not my problem, Sam,” Danny replied, eyeing the doll. He didn’t want to go anywhere near the thing. 

Sam huffed in frustration. “Fine then,” he grumbled. He made a big show of removing his tennis shoes and, one by one, chucked them at the doll, striking it square in the face both times. 

“That’s what I’m talkin’ about!” Sam screeched at the doll. 

Unbeknownst to Samuel F. Kiszka, in that moment, the clown doll stared deep into the depths of his soul and vowed that, no matter what it took, it was going to make the hairy mean guy regret ever being born. 

It took a while to get Josh down from the lamp, but when they did, Danny managed to get all of them to agree that they weren’t going to go into the master bedroom anymore. Sam was the most disappointed, but he eventually agreed that he wouldn’t really be able to appreciate the Sleep Mattress if it was doing 360s midair. 

After that excitement, Jake decided to get away from the spooky room and head downstairs. He was exhausted, confused, and a little tired. He spotted a TV and perked up a little.

He let out a joyful cry as Pirates of the Caribbean lit up the room. Glorious. It’s like the house knew he loved that movie. Thank you, house!

Suddenly the screen switched to static. Jake pulled a face and grabbed the remote, turning it back to the movie. He snuggled into the sofa more as it played before the screen went static again.

“Ughhhhh” he groaned, changing it back, only for the TV to switch to a static channel again. This went on for more than Jake would ever admit, and then the TV flicked to an image that no longer looked like Pirates of the Caribbean. Instead, it was a very blue toned shot of a well. What was this, Twilight??

As he grabbed the remote and pressed a number of buttons to try and change the channel, a hand emerged from the well. A girl with long black hair began to climb out and walk towards the screen on the TV.

“I’m gonna miss Captain Jack,” Jake grumbled to himself as he looked at the remote in his hand and continued to smash random buttons.

Water began to pour out of the TV as the girl got closer, and she lifted a foot through the TV screen, out into the living room in front of Jake.

“What kind of 4D TV is this?!” He asked out loud as he watched. Water was starting to pool around the carpet, flooding the room.

“Hey!” He yelled out. “You’re getting the carpet all wet! Stop that!”

Jake’s screams at the girl who had emerged fully out of the TV, just stood there dripping wet, grabbed everyone else’s attention and they ran into the room.

“She made me miss Pirates of the Caribbean and now she’s got the carpet all soggy!”

Danny was staring at the girl in terror, but rolled his eyes when he heard the guitarist whine. “Please Jake, you know that movie by heart, get over yourself. Also…” He lifted a hand to the girl and then to the TV and simply let out,

“Magnets.”

“Girl!” Sam entered the room and called to the child, aggressively motioning at her. “What do you put in your hair? Bacon grease? You look NASTY!” 

Although the girl’s face was hidden beneath her thick curtain of long, dark hair, it could only be assumed that she was frowning at Sam. Sam shook his head at her and tsked. 

“You need to use a hair mask. And comb your hair in the shower the second you turn the water off. With the length you’re going for right now, I can only imagine how many split ends you have. Also, how did you get so wet? Did you just run or something? That’s disgusting.” 

The girl made a sad whimpering sound, put her head down further than it already was, and slinked away. 

“That was kinda mean,” Danny scolded Sam. 

“She deserved to know the truth,” Sam disagreed. Danny didn’t like how proud of himself Sam looked. 

Suddenly, loud chimes rang through the mansion, making them all jump. 

“That must be the front door,” Josh realized. “I’ll get it!” 

Before Danny could counter that he shouldn’t go alone, Josh had already bounced out of the room. 

“Did the magnets cause the doorbell to ring?” Jake asked. 

Josh came back into the room, his arms piled high with pizza boxes. He dropped them onto the coffee table with a grunt and then put his hands on his hips, taking in the mountain of food with delight. 

“The pizza guy didn’t even charge me,” Josh announced. “That’s gotta be at least $100 worth of pizza.” 

“Free pizza is the best kind of pizza,” Danny had to admit. Within seconds, they were all devouring the food, cramming their faces like ravenous wolves. Sam had taken the veggie supreme pizza and was huddled in the corner of the room, his eyes dilated, looking around as if daring anyone to come close to him while he fed. 

Jake wiped his mouth with one of the throw pillows on the couch and then frowned. 

“Wait,” he said, “who ordered this?” 

They looked around at each other, shrugging.

With his mouth full and still chewing, Danny let out in weak defeat, “Magnets.” The Kiszkas all grunted in acknowledgment. While they continued to eat, entirely unbothered, Danny strainied to remember all the Latin phrases he knew on the off chance that he needed to perform an exorcism. Things were starting to feel a little bit too paranormal for him. 

Jake let out an exhausted sigh. “I’m not hungry anymore.”

His twin eyed him confused. “Dude, it’s dinnertime, you need to eat.”

Jake shook his head. “Nah, I’m good. I tucked into that weird greenish blob thing on the kitchen floor.”

Danny’s head snapped to Jake. “What?” Before Jake could repeat what he said, the drummer took off for the kitchen. His eyebrows nearly reached his hairline when he spotted small remnants of a green blob on the floor with a straw strewn next to it. What the loving fuck did Jake eat? Slimer from Ghostbusters? Danny wasn’t sure and didn’t want to wait long to find out.

Jake nearly jumped out of his skin when the drummer came back. “What did you put in your mouth?” Was all he asked.

Jake moved back away from his friend with a yelp. As Danny went to pry his mouth open to check, Jake bolted with his friend chasing after him.

Sam grinned at Jake and Danny’s show and then turned to say something to Josh, but stopped in his tracks. Standing in the doorway of the living room was the clown doll, armed with a knife, Chucky, Annabelle, and a collection of other definitely haunted toys staring him down. Instead of greeting them with fear, Sam let out a deep and booming laugh. 

“Bring it on, shitheads,” he encouraged them, waving his hand. Chucky was the first to take the bait and sprinted towards Sam with a menacing cackle. Chucky jumped to try and grab a hold of Sam’s leg, but Sam met him with his bare foot and promptly punted him out the window and into the sun. The other toys watched their comrade meet his end and roared with rage. 

“Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité!” the clown shouted, rushing at Sam with the knife. Josh watched in a mixture of awe and horror as his younger brother went to town, kicking his feet around like a Radio City Rockette, sending all of the bloodthirsty toys soaring out of the atmosphere. 

“These feet were made for kickin’!” Sam sang and clapped his hands after sending Annabelle so far off into the distance, it seemed likely she would make it to the edge of the universe. 

Danny was back from chasing Jake and stood utterly bewildered as he watched the chaos around him unfold. “Um…guys….I…I think this place might actually be haunted.”

Josh and Jake look at him, at each other, then back at him before bursting out in laughter.

“Oh Danny boy, don’t worry, it’s just magnets like you said!” Josh beamed to him before disappearing out of the room.

Danny watched him leave and then looked at Sam laughing maniacally.

Josh made his way into the sitting room and retrieved a plastic green visor from his back pocket, securing it over his head. 

“Hey guys,” he greeted the room full of ghosts who were crowded around a card table. “Can I join this round?” 

One of the ghosts nodded towards the single chair that was by the table. Josh plopped himself back into it, not noticing that all the other people were hovering above the ground and definitely translucent. A ghost that looked like she was from the Industrial Revolution slapped a hand of cards in front of Josh. 

“Good luck,” she said in a Cockney accent. 

“I don’t need luck,” Josh shook his head at her. He studied his cards, which were entirely out in the open for everyone to see, and then let out a delighted laugh. “Oh, you’re all going down.” 

The ghosts frowned at his hand, which was a 2 and a 7. The game picked back up and, after watching the ghosts throw chips into the middle of the table, Josh studied the cards on the table and started to whoop. 

“Go fish!” he shouted and did a little dance. He was met with blank stares. “Sorry if I’m a bit too excited,” Josh added. “I just like to live in the now, you know, really take in the present because, I mean, you never know, you could keel over dead any second! I just love to live life. It’s so wonderful to be alive.” 

Danny had joined Josh in the sitting room and gaped at him.

“Josh,” he hissed, trying to get his attention. Eventually, Josh looked back at Danny. 

“Hm?” 

“Quit being a dickhead.” 

“Huh?” 

“You’re saying, like, the worst things you could possibly say right now.”

“What?” 

Danny looked around, his heart thundering in his chest. “I think they’re all actually dead,” Danny whispered. Josh looked like he didn’t follow a single word that had come out of Danny’s mouth. “You know what?” Danny sighed. “Just forget it.” 

Josh shrugged, unbothered, and returned back to his card game. He noticed that all of the ghosts were still staring at him and puffed out his chest with pride. 

“Take your time to process my words of wisdom. I know it’s some deep shit.” 

One of the ghosts gave Josh a big thumbs down. 

Jake made his way back to the living room to see if the TV had fixed itself and the girl had bothered to clean up the damn mess she had made. To his dismay, the TV was in fact NOT fixed as it was still stuck on the image of the well, but the girl had climbed back inside the screen and was sitting on the edge crying.

Jake jumped when he saw Bruce Willis still standing in the corner. He was confused why the star was there but nonetheless excited.

Jake let out a breath of courage and moved towards him as he cleared his throat to get the man’s attention. It was weird seeing a Hollywood star in a random living room, but especially weird to see Bruce Willis with brown hair.

“Hey, hello. Hi. Mr. Willis? I…I’m sorry to bother you but I just wanted to say that I loved your work in Die Hard, it’s my favourite Christmas movie. I quote it all the time at the wrong moments.” He beamed at the actor.

Bruce Willis stared blankly at him. “I’m sorry you must have confused me with someone else. I’m Dr. Malcom Crow….I’m…not sure why I’m here. I’m a therapist ... I remember a shot…” 

Jake realized he was actually speaking to Bruce Willis’ character from the Sixth Sense and paled. “Ah….um….okay gotta go…bye.” There was no way he was breaking the bad news to the guy.

After getting a Gatorade from the fridge to power up following his battle against the “haunted” toys, Sam found Jake, Josh, and Danny and took in a deep inhale. Danny’s face fell when he saw that Sam’s mouth was open and ready to talk. 

“This haunted house is beyond weak,” Sam complained. “There aren’t any fake cobwebs, rubber snakes, or strobe lights. It’s literally just a normal house with a bunch of magnets! I’ve never been so disappointed in my life.” 

“You would moan about how cheap this haunted house is if it did have those things,” Danny countered. Sam frowned at his comment. 

“What matters is this house had the potential to be truly spooky, but everything just felt weird. I mean, nothing has scared me one bit.”

“No!” someone yelled off in the distance. 

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Josh rushed over and nearly yanked the door off its hinges.

There, stood 2 men in coats with glasses and clipboards.

“Fellas, you completed the study.” the first man boomed.

The rest of the guys joined Josh at the door. “Study? What study?” Danny asked the men. One was jotting down notes as he looked at each person and the other man spoke to them.

“You applied to take part in our haunting simulation study….you….you weren't aware?” The man was perplexed and then pointed to the other man’s clipboard and said, “Jot that down.”

They stared at Josh. “I thought it was a fancy groupon,” he let out.

“Interesting….thank you for your participation, but….what the fuck is wrong with you guys?”

All the members of Greta Van Fleet stared blankly at each other. Then, their faces cracked into goofy grins. 

“Awwww shucks!” they all called out to each other, slapping their knees. Audience laughter played overhead. 

Those Greta boys did it again!

#greta van fleet #gvf #jake kiszka #josh kiszka #danny wagner #sam kiszka #greta van fleet fanfiction #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet fanfic #gvf fic #gvf fanfiction #gvf fanfic #jmkho #fic collab #halloween #haunted house

[kicktwine]

heard sprawl and came running any random tidbits you feel like sharing? 🎤

INCREDIBLY FAST KAYATASH JUMPSCARE—

hi. Hello. She is always on the back of my mind. I can never keep track of what I have and have not shared but I have been thinking about the foretellers lately. And how they’re basically fated to be not quite good enough for their god, except for Ava, who is gods favorite, and luxu who is gods least favorite child. HSVDJFBSJ let me— context. Structure. These are important.

ok I came back in the morning. SFTKJGKS.

I have been trying to think about Luxu and how exactly he fits and what his motivations are. Because it’s important 2 ME that he parallels Ven’s role in the story in a foilish way. Also it’s integral to the rest of the story so not having it figured out is somewhat of a roadblock. Ven’s almost completely passive, things happen to him and he takes a long time to be confident enough to try to do something for himself because every time he does that it goes badly. Luxu is so active that every time something goes wrong he has to know why. He has to have his fingers in every puzzle even when what he’s supposed to do is wait. Ven doesn’t want to be Unity’s liaison at all and Luxu wants to be him so bad it makes him look stupid. So I think that like. The timeline of such events. Goes

baby Luxu literally the best in the program, top of his class good boy catholic schoolboy

tries speaking to the Divine Unity and gets SOOO sick. Cannot do it. His body just won’t let him. Effectively locks him out of progressing any further, even as his yearmates become foretellers

why do bad things HAPPEN to good PEOPLE. why does god hate me. I’ll just go ask the other one (maybe the other half of god does not hate me)

rescinds his discipleship, now determined to find and commune with the Divine Organization

this is harder than it sounds

but also easier than it sounds when, through means of minor major crime, you befriend the Candidate’s son and next in line for the seat. junior thinks he’s funny and also strangely good at crime

many years pass

rat man xigbar (silly) evolves from schoolboy luxu

finally make it up to number two in the order, given a ton of clearance. Not enough clearance, but can do crimes to get it

finds out

the other half of God has been dead for more than a thousand years

dead this whole time. Cannot speak to you

now what.

rat man becomes incredibly mad and very cynical BUT. TWO things. 1) now questioning everything the city-state has said over the past thousand years as not of the divine and 2) discovers within the repetitions of code Organization uses to keep its other half occupied notes from the original writer and decoder. This man could speak to the Divine. A direct connection and tons of notes This man probably has wisdom for him.

the wisdom ends up being that the two gods Must be reunited or any and all religious significance is worthless - they have yearned for each other for thousands of years and will not fulfill their purposes until whole again. any words that come from a half-formed being are not of the Divine

vindication! Also uh oh.

is this true? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

mmmmmmm………….

crusade to by any means necessary steer the wheel of fate in the direction of salvation

rat man FULLY FORMED

dandelions fall into his lap — well like. One of them. One of them that has the means to bypass the Divine Unity’s aura of control (HE NEEDS THAT)

the rest of them that r still alive skitter off. we will come back to that

after some attempts, even with a means to ignore its choir he still can’t TALK to it. The language is incomprehensible and he still gets soooo sick (this is not unusual it happens to people quite a lot, it just shouldn’t happen to HIM, he who tries so hard)

needs a boy. most guys with the power to do that are safe and secure inside the Divine Itself

except this little guy who is somehow still alive

sends one of his guys to get the boy

terrible timing apparently boy had just been through a major loss and the boys catfight each other to THE DEATH

DARN IT

oh wait boys are still alive. Traveling with some other guys

Raccoon rubbing hands together dot gif

and the rest of that is like, plot fruition. ANDBDK NONE OF THAT IS PROSE THAT ALL IS. KINDA BACKSTORY but that’s what he’s up to. You know what the other foretellers are up to. Peacefully running a city

Ava: Divine Candidate. Sits in a room for a looooooong time.

Invi: works with Gula on the disciples, also manages the resonant chamber. divine mediation things

Gula: trade and gardens, also the disciples sometimes if he gets around to it. Often leaves the city to make trade deals and negotiate with Scala’s Erudition

Aced: pilot training and security mostly

Ira: like. The president? Oversees and runs everything

meanwhile their old classmate is out here with a sniper rifle and a plan to kill God. calm down man

And, Meanwhile, ven is having the opposite character arc of

Divine’s Favorite Boy

Turns out being the divine’s favorite boy is not a good thing for me

…plot occurs…. Many things happen…

hey what do you want, thing that might be a god and might not

it’s just kinda lonely.

oh

maybe we can be friends

#I am using you to help me figure this out yes. Yeah thank you actually it really helped my outline— #sprawl au #ask #kayatash #This ended up way longer because I started figuring the plot conceit out as i was talking to you #so thanks— AFIGLFWHLGX #also thank u david for giving xigbar catholic guilt. moms ghost is always here to make things worse

[darkpurpledawn]

for the writing prompt thing if you’re still doing that maybe something where the joker kidnaps a marriage counselor or something and forces Batman to go with him (by probably threatening to kill a bunch of people or something)

“He’s insane!” the terrified woman tied to the chair whispers to Batman, who’s sawing through her restraints with a bat-shaped file.

“I know, ma’m,” Batman sighs. “It’s the Joker.”

“No, you don’t understand,” she hisses. “I’m a marriage counselor.”

“An admirable vocation. Can you move your elbow a little to the left?”

“See he thinks you’re–”

She’s cut off by the bang of a door and a burst of confetti.

“Bats! You’re unfashionably early.” Joker, as usual, greets Batman with the cheerful nonchalance of someone who has asked his companion to pass the strawberry jam at a picnic. “I see you’ve met Carolyn.”

“Put the gun down, Joker,” Batman snarls. “You won’t be hurting her anymore.”

“What? No, no, of course I’m not hurting her, I kidnapped her and let her sit in this basement full of rats so that we can have a little chat about where our relationship’s going.”

“You’re not usually this delusional before lunch,” Batman says flatly, and hoists the newly-freed Carolyn from her chair.

“Ah ah ah, I don’t think you want to be doing that,” Joker says. He prances over to a pile of garbage propping up an old cathode-ray television and turns it on with one gloved finger. “See, I’m not hurting her, but if you make another move I will tell my associates you see on the screen there to throw everyone who was unlucky enough to be waiting at the intersection of 3rd and Daggett Memorial into the knife hole.”

There are a dozen people on the screen, eight of whom are not clad in clown masks or oversized shoes. And there’s an aperture on the floor, presumably–

“The knife hole?” Batman says doubtfully.

Joker sighs. “I started letting my henchmen name the death traps. Does a lot for morale, you know, but they haven’t exactly got the souls of poets.”

“At least let the counselor go,” Batman says, looking at the unguarded exit as if calculating how long it would take to sprint there.

“No you don’t, I need her! Well, maybe not her exactly, I just picked her out because we have the same nail color”--he draws off a glove and shows Batman a bright yellow lacquer–”but you get the point.”

Carolyn inhales sharply with the air of someone for whom no amount of acetone could be enough.

“Anyway, bats, I assure you the knife hole is fatal indeed. Threw an underperforming goon in it the other day and he’s quite dead.”

“Can’t imagine why you’re having morale problems,” Batman deadpans. “Let’s talk about this, OK? Nobody needs to get hurt.”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying, bats,” Joker says, exasperated. “We need to talk. Are you getting enough oxygen in your little cave? Why do you think I kidnapped a marriage counselor?” 

“Because you’re insane?”

Joker rounds on Carolyn. “You see what I put up with!

Carolyn stutters. “It, um, it seems like there’s a fundamental disagreement about the presence or absence of a partnership here, which is really, uh, out of the scope of what marriage counseling can help with–”

“Oswald told me you let him sit in the front of the Batmobile,” Joker interrupts, pointing the gun at Batman accusingly. “Last time you took me to Arkham you made me sit in the back.”

“Does that m-match your recollection of events, Batman?” Carolyn asks in a near-whisper. “Also, um, Joker, your body language is fairly threatening right now, this doesn’t feel like a very voluntary discussion.”

“The Penguin does not push buttons on the dashboard trying to find the eject button or the most annoying radio station,” Batman says. 

“But I called shotgun!” Joker protests.

“You shot me in the leg with an actual shotgun,” Batman yells.

“See, it’s communication issues like these that are holding us back, Batsy. Not to mention our intimacy problems.”

“Wait, are you really–?” Carolyn asks.

“No,” Batman growls and Joker moans at the same moment. “Not even once,” they say in tandem, Batman with a shudder and Joker with a rhapsodic sigh.

“Oooookay,” Carolyn says, backing away from both of them.

Batman clears his throat awkwardly and activates the com link on his gauntlet. “Robin, begin rescue procedure. Careful of the knife hole.”

“No, no, not again!” Joker yelps as the television shows one of the captured civilians pull out an extendable stick and start doing backflips. “Really have to work on a screening process for kidnapping victims.”

“C’mon Joker, the back seat of the Batmobile is waiting.”

#batjokes #batjokes fic #my fics #prompt fics #batblogging #thanks for your patience anon! and these are aways open!

[thethistlegirlwrites]

Afterlife

The steaming mug of coffee sits untouched on the table in front of Nico.

It’s not what his body wants.

Not anymore.

The waitress who set it down had a defined blue vein snaking across her jawline.

He wraps his hands around the mug and swallows a scalding gulp.

Rain ticks on the windows, each drop that slides down reflecting the pink and yellow neon of the sign that proclaims the establishment is open twenty-four hours a day. 

Grease hisses in a fryer in the kitchen. Dishes clatter and people chatter in a mixture of languages and a radio plays a scratchy, fading in and out pop song about a cheating lover. Cars outside splash by through the puddles, water trickles down the storm drains with strangely metallic, echoing plops, horns blare and sirens scream. 

The sounds are the worst.

He can sort of block out the smells. Apparently, having had your nose busted a decade ago on a hunt does in fact make a dent in even vamp super-senses. He can pick out the bacon grease and the yellow peppers and olives and sweat and perfume, but it’s almost a manageable level.

Sight isn’t really a problem. He’s been highly attuned to small movements for all of his adult life. It’s like being twenty again, able to catch a rat’s tail whipping around a corner.

But the sounds. 

The sounds are overwhelming.

He shouldn’t have come here.

It’s too soon. He’s not ready.

He shoves a few bills under the barely-touched coffee mug and bolts out the door, pulling up the hood of his sweatshirt as a protection against the driving rain, and against whoever might recognize him as the man who used to be a teammate.

He has to get this under control. 

This isn’t what he wanted.

But it wasn’t his choice.

His family was so desperate to have a little more time with him that they let him turn. 

And then he almost killed them.

Memories of his hands around Vanessa’s throat, Ricky screaming at him and trying futilely to pull him away, the hot, salty, iron-tangy blood gushing from his son’s arm when he caught it in his teeth pour down on him, colder and more brutal than the rain.

He’s not sure either of them want to see him again.

He’s not sure trying to get himself clean and get the hunger under control is worth it. They wanted him back in their lives then, but they might never again. Not after seeing what the monster he returned as is capable of. They have every right to bar him from their door forever. To cut him out of their lives like a cancer that would eventually destroy them. 

Maybe he should just stop running and hiding from the Sunrisers. Let one of his old friends stake him through the heart and end this.

But something in him wants to survive. Desperately, like a feral animal caught in a trap.

He’s not sure he should listen to it. Vampires who give in to their urges are the most dangerous predators in the world. He’s staked dozens of them. Captured countless more. 

And now, he is one.

A disaster waiting to happen.

A massacre with a ticking timer on it.

A bloodthirsty creature that can hurt even the people that meant the most to the dead man whose face he’s wearing. 

He can hear the heartbeats of every person who brushes past him.

He can smell the blood on the chin of the man who must have cut himself shaving, under the Avengers bandaid on the finger of a kid with a blue rain slicker. 

He turns aside into an alley, crouches behind a dumpster, and pulls his last packet of synth-blood from his pocket.

Four hours.

He made it four hours between feedings this time.

It’s not good enough.

He swallows down the cool, slightly bitter saltiness and squeezes every drop he can from the plastic before tossing it into the trash. 

He lowers his head into his hands, shoulders shaking, tears burning his eyes. This is what he’s become. This is all he has to look forward to. 

The scent of something earthy and not quite canine enough to be right drags him back to the present. His head snaps up, eyes scanning the alleyway.

There’s a man there who wasn’t a second ago. Not particularly tall, wearing a long coat and a flat wool cap that’s spilling rain down over slightly sharp-tipped ears.

Fae. A shifter. The closest thing to a real werewolf that really exists.

Nico snarls.

He may want to die, right here, right now, but the thing inside him will be damned if it goes down without a fight.

Truth be told, it’s damned already.

“Not sure who you are, but seems like you could use a little help,” the shifter says, his voice carrying the distinct sound of Bay Ridge born and raised, but a life spent in various slices of the city’s underbelly. Probably one of the unregistered fae making a living doing private detective work for cash.

“Why don’t you scram and leave me be.”

“Not really my thing.” 

Actually, he thinks he knows who this might be. At least as far as family affiliations. One of the Phelan pack. His Sunriser team crossed paths with them a few times. Sometimes, they had the same objectives. Sometimes, at odds. 

He’s not sure which this is going to turn out to be.

“Fae and vampires don’t mix.”

“You saved my dad’s life once on a hunt. The pack owes ya.” The wolf crouches on his heels in the alley, coming down to Nico’s level, clearly none too worried about being outmatched in a fight. “Word of advice. Get outta this borough, sooner rather than later. Sunrisers are plannin’ a huge dragnet operation. Too many people complainin’ about vamp activity.”

“Thanks.” 

The wolf turns away, disappearing into the wind-whipped rain.

Where he was standing, there’s a chipped slice of shale stone with a few numbers and letters scratched on its surface.

The calling card of an earth-fae.

An address.

Nico almost tosses it down the closest storm drain.

He tucks it into his pocket instead.

He can’t be sure these fae would actually trust a vampire. They’ve warned him he’s in danger. To them, that might mean their life-debt is cleared up, and that he has no favors left to cash in with them.

But if he gets desperate enough, maybe at least they’d kill him quickly.

He can’t say the same for the Sunrisers.

(You can read this story and more from this universe on my WorldAnvil here!)

@catwingsathena @nade2308 @the-one-and-only-valkyrie @telltaleclerk @ettawritesnstudies  @writeouswriter @whump-place @the-lovely-wren

#febuwhump #febuwhump2024 #febuwhumpday29 #not allowed to die #vampire whump #domenico pontevecchio #with a special appearance by #tom phelan #of who fights monsters #I love my crossovers a little too much