#wait. is he going to narrate his parents’ sex scene

[scandalsavagefanfic]

Hello! I am a huge fan of ur writing. I've loved everything I've read of yours. I've read alot of what you've posted, except for a couple of the tags that are squicky for me (so I'm very thankful you tag very thoroughly). No judgement for the squick, it's just not for me. & when I'm having a bad day, I usually just go thru ur ao3 and find something to reread. I think about Therapy's Bruce & Jason every damn day. While I obvs appreciate ur darker more "problematic" content (I really vibe with some of the themes you write about bc of my own trauma, & so it's very cathartic to read about in a fictional setting), I am truly a sucker for ur more happy content. The Happily Ever After verse also lives in my head rent free. Idk more wholesome stuff just seems more special when you write it. Anyways. I would die for you. But the point of this ask is cause I'm curious as to why you don't like Urban Legends? I'm sorry if you already talked about it here or on twitter and I missed it. I was just wondering because I really enjoy your take on things and would love to hear why you dislike it. I've been enjoying it so far personally, but I am always open to DC comics criticism.

Aw thank you so much! I'm so flattered by everything you just said. You're so sweet ❤❤❤❤❤

I haven't talked about Urban Legends here or twitter (I haven't been very active in either place lately. Just a lot going on and no energy 😔) but I'm happy to do it here.

Before I start though, I just want to add a standard disclaimer and make it clear that if you like it, there's nothing wrong with that and you don't have to let me ruin it for you lol. Like what you like.

That said, since you asked...

I said this when I was talking about it on discord, that there is a difference between hope and expectation. I always hope that a new story centered on Jason (or anyone really, but things have been especially egregious for Jay for 15 years) will be good or at least treat the character with a minimal level of respect (to be honest, the bar is super fucking low). But my expectations always temper my hope, to keep it from getting unrealistic. Because my expectations are based on experience.

The long history of Jason Todd, since even before his resurrection, has been one of retroactively trying to make him "a bad seed" in order to absolve Bruce of any responsibility in his death.

I don't even expect DC or their writers to start honoring the fact that Jason was not an angry, reckless Robin (and less of the later than Dick or Tim and definitely Damian). There plenty of ways that retcon can be folded into his history and be compelling and sympathetic. And if they're going to stick with that retcon, I'm only asking that they do it in one of those compelling and sympathetic ways because Jason was 15 when he died, heroically, in one of the most selfless acts in comics, to save a woman who literally handed him over to be brutally murdered. He was 12 when Bruce plucked him off the streets, he'd been homeless and fending for himself for at least two years. I personally think that Jason's story hits harder for him and Bruce if their original, canon relationship, of Jason as starry-eyed and eager to learn and absolutely devoted to Bruce and Bruce to Jason, is preserved. But Jason's origins does leave room for a meaningful interpretation of him as angry and frustrated at the lack of meaningful results of Bruce's methods.

And that's really where my irritation at stories like Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer and Batman The Adventure Continues has it's roots.

Every time one of these stories comes out, I think (or hope, rather) that this will be the one that remembers and respects the origins of the Jason and the Red Hood, that takes into account the changed sensibilities of comics readers in the 30 years since Jason's death and the subtle, 20 year, retroactive campaign to make him the "bad Robin". The "born bad" trope is played out and literally no one likes the message it implies. That some kids are just bad eggs and there's nothing parents or the adults around them can do. Especially when it's played as the kid's fault. If Jason's time as Robin is going to be characterized by anger, then it should be rooted in anger at the social injustices he witnessed as he grew up in an impoverished, crime-ridden, area and the horrors he faced raising himself when every day was a battle for survival. There are topical, meaningful, stories to tell with that backdrop.

But those are never the stories we get.

⚠⚠ Spoilers for Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer ⚠⚠

I'm particularly disappointed in Urban Legends because for the first issue, it looked like that was the kind of story we were going to get. I was put off by the first flashback of Jason being mesmerized by Bruce's guns, and I got that feeling in my gut that it was a bad sign. Jason depicted as impatient and overconfident and the scene with the guns is heavy-handed foreshadowing that got my spidey-sense tingling. I had a inkling then (in the first three pages) of how this story was going to play out, but it was early and I could still see many narrative paths that could lead to a satisfying story. My concerns were soothed somewhat and the little flame of my hope fanned, with the flashback of Alfred scolding Bruce, with Barbara's concern for Jason. A bit of worry returned with the way Jason ruthlessly pursued an addict who didn't appear to be a dealer and with the ending of the issue. The stuff with the addict sat wrong with me but the ending was tempered some by how despicable Tyler's dad was written. The scene was clearly set so that the reader could sympathize with Jason's decision and the scene with the addict could be brushed aside as a side-effect of comics over-the-top need for constant action, so I still held hope.

Issue 2 made me uncomfortable and it's where my hope starts to take a backseat to my expectations. I can dismiss Jason's self-deprecating internal monologue as unreliable narration, except that the flashback reinforces his thought process to explicitly show that it's not unreliable narration, and should be taken at face value. Jason faces physical abuse at the hands of his mother's drug dealer and when the flashback continues later, Jason kills the drug dealer. To be clear, this is a pre-Bruce Jason. His mom is still alive. He's like... 10. He kills this guy for shoving his head into a wall and implying Jason's mother paid for her drugs with sex. This is a scene that serves a single purpose. To show that Jason has always been prone to violence.

In the spirit of full disclosure, there is the small chance the drug dealer might not be dead. But the story obviously wants the reader to think he is, and it hasn't done anything to change that yet.

Starlin already did this story with The Diplomat’s Son in 1988 and he did it infinitely better. AND that’s still technically canon. So now I’m supposed to believe that Jason lost his cool bad enough to kill two douche bags before his sweet 16? Like it’s totally normal for abused kids raised in poverty, who’ve led hard and heartbreaking lives to just... haul off and kill people? That’s bullshit, and when taken with the Jason in the third issue, who is little more than an idiot thug, this story is really doubling down on some fucked up stereotypes.

Which brings us to the most recent issue. I went into this installment with very low expectations. I thought this story was going to be about Jason, through this experience with Tyler, a young boy with a similar background to Jason's, coming to the realization that Bruce's way is the best way and that Bruce did his best by Jason.

That would be annoying (in no small part because it takes increasingly absurd levels of plot armor to keep Bruce's no kill rule relevant, let alone irrefutably right). But I can probably live with that, if only because maybe if Jason officially falls back into line with the Bats crusade, maybe I'll get stories that treat him with respect, stories that don't relegate him to comic relief, dumb brute, or a background body with no lines in a story about the Joker burning Gotham (like Jason would just fucking stand there quietly for that).

And that may still be where the story is going, Jason realizing Bruce is right.

But holy shit do I not have the right words to describe how fucking insulting and gross issue three is.

From start to finish--including the flashback--Jason is written as cruel and fucking stupid. Like straight up dumb.

The entire issue is Bruce explaining the fucking basics to Jason like it's his first day. And Jason flies off the fucking handle and terrorizes a doctor he knows isn't a part of making the Cheerdrops, beats the shit out of some random addicts, and finally, when he can't accomplish anything on his own because he's a dumb brute he calls Barbara for help and rushes in with no information where he's promptly incapacitated and must now wait to be rescued by Batman.

This panel is the least of the issues sins but I can’t screenshot the entire story but it’s representative of the tone for the whole issue (and retroactively tainted the prior two issues).

This is beyond insulting. The only conclusions Jason comes to in this issue are the ones Bruce leads him to by talking to him like he can’t make the simplest connections. And like... in this story Jason can’t make the simplest connections.

This (and the Jason throughout the entirety of this issue) is a far cry from the Jason we fell in love with in Under the Red Hood, who was competent and strategic and intelligent enough to seize control of Gotham’s underworld from Black Mask (who’s no fucking slouch, he’s the first and only person to unify organized crime in Gotham) AND elude and manipulate Bruce until the time and place of his choosing.

This is a far cry from even the Red Hood and the Outlaws Jason who is competent enough to fight the League of Shadows and Ra’s al Ghul (among very dangerous and skilled others) and smart enough to create antidotes for mind control nanotech viruses.

As he should be, by the way. Jason Todd is one of the best, most comprehensively trained fighters in DC’s stable of non powered vigilantes. He’s not irrational or hot headed. He’s pragmatic, tactically minded, and patient. He’s a detective. Right now. Has been since he was 12. Bruce doesn’t have to make him one because he already is. 

Jason is not a stupid thug who uses his fists because his brain doesn’t work. And I can’t tell you how so very exhausted I am by this narrative. 

This is actually the most egregious example of Jason’s skills and intelligence being not just undermined but dismissed entirely. Even Morrison’s Jason had some degree of competency. 

The one, single redeeming factor of this story is the art. It’s beautiful. And Marcus To is a godsend he seems to be one of only a couple of artists who remember that Jason was a child when he was Robin and I’m literally only buying this book because of him. 

Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t want that to come out so... um... passionately lol. I’m just very very tired. My intention with this isn’t to ruin it for you, if you like it, that’s fine. 

But this issue shot this story to the top of my "Vehemently Despise” list. 1) Batman: Urban Legends (Cheer), 2) Battle for the Cowl/Morrison’s Batman and Robin, 3) Batman The Adventure Continues.

I hope the next issues somehow salvage this dumpster fire. But I’m not expecting it.

(Damnit. That sounded harsh again. To reiterate, I’m not trying to judge anyone who enjoys it, I just personally hate it and you asked me why lol 😅)

#Batman #red hood #batman: urban legends #nice art #shit story #or at least shit characterization #jason todd deserves better #this response got long and I didn't edit it #please forgive any errors #and/or unclear spots #spoilers

[three--rings]

Hi! Hopefully you haven't been asked this before and I missed it. If so, apologies. But I wonder if you have extended thoughts on the ending of 2ha? [SPOILERS] My partner and I thought it felt rushed, like the falling action after the climax was super short. There wasn't enough reassurance and peaceful affirmation after seeing so much death, especially MoRan 2.0's. We wanted to enjoy the HEA (and kind of expected the consensual sex scenes to outnumber the dubcon/rape). And then the last chapter was so, so bleak. It might have been a translation issue, but the narration seemed to suggest that nothing that happened mattered. The systems that created the Butterfly Beauty's slavery are still in place; the characters will die and their stories will be forgotten. Chu Wanning and MoRan don't get to reunite with their loved ones, Chu Zun is *still* waiting for his wife & son, and Xue Meng is "left behind," though it's a little more hopeful since he can form new relationships with the Mei Hanxue's and Jiang Xi. [/END SPOILER] Thank you for reading, and again, would love your thoughts! :D

Warning: 2HA SPOILERS!

So I will say that I definitely didn't have this reaction, per se, to the ending. I did, to be fair, finish the book rather late at night so my memory of the last chapter is slightly fuzzy.

Definitely endings are tricky. Especially in such a long book. I don't think that any book is ever going to give you a conclusion that has as much happy/settled time as the time of struggle. That's just not in the narrative structure of a novel. Which means sometimes, yes, we don't get a lot of time to see our characters actually happy.

Personally, one thing I would have liked would be to see more of Chu Wanning and MoRan and TXJ in the extras. I could have done with a little more quiet domesticity from them. More negotiation of how they work out the remaining issues they have. But I have to settle for fanfic for that, and I don't think that's a bad thing. Meatbun gave us enough to indicate the shape of their lives, indication that they FIND happiness and contentment, even if we don't see all the details on the page.

For me, the climax of the novel is in the last scene before the rift is closed, before TXJ's death. The climax is in CWN giving TXJ his unconditional love and saying he has no regrets. It's the forgiveness of TXJ's crimes by the victim of those crimes, the triumph of unconditional love. As well as the self-sacrifice of TXJ for the rest of the world.

After that is just the confirmation that Mo Ran gets to come back to life and they get to be together.

The final chapter is a bit of a sad epilogue, or at least a wistful one, but I think it's one that appeals to me in a way that I might not have appreciated when I was younger. Because, yeah, bad things have still happened, people have been lost, and those who were left behind, who survived are still grieving. Xue Meng lost his parents and he's struggling with becoming a sect leader, but you get the sense that he IS learning. That he will eventually be good at it. And that he will eventually (especially with the extras) have a relationship with Mo Ran and CWN again.

But it's the still leaving room for grieving that I feel I appreciate more as a middle-aged person than I would have when I was young. Because I've lost a parent. I've lost friends (both to death and to just the separations of life.) I've very nearly lost the love of my life and partner. So I appreciate the realism of not everything being fixed. Of there still being loss. Of characters having to go on and learn to live with their grief. Especially after such a dark and painful story, that feels right to me.

And also, in terms of all the flaws of the world not being fixed...no, they aren't. There are still very unfair systems in place. Inequality still exists. Injustice still happens. BUT there are indications that things are a little better. The big bads have been defeated. The most deceptive sects have been taken down, and it's indicated that there isn't a divide between the upper and lower cultivation sects anymore. And that Sisheng Peak is going to eventually be the predominant sect, along with its philosophy of helping the less fortunate out of duty.

So those are small changes, but they're still positive ones. And honestly, that's as much as I feel any human can ask for. It's very realistic to me. That you strive with all your might and at the end of your effort things have just changed SLIGHTLY for the better. Or maybe things are just as bad as they were but you prevented them from getting worse. That's...that's the kind of thing that happens in the real world. It's not...as satisfying as we might want. It's not an escapist fantasy of fixing the world. But what our heroes get is the person they love, time and space to be together, and slight progress in the right direction. They get not having made things worse. Triumph over their own worst potential (in Mo Ran's case.)

And honestly, a quiet place to be happy with the person you love and value the most in the world is about as much as any of us can ask as a happy ending. I know it's certainly MY happy ending. (She says, from her small home in the woods that she shares with her husband and their 4 cats, isolated from any family and a good distance from most friends.)

It's a theme you see a LOT in danmei, I think. That one person is enough. That finding small personal happiness is enough. That the systems of the world go on and you can't make big changes but maybe you change small things for the people closest to you and that's enough.

And I wonder, if that's a cultural thing. If the resonance of that message is greater in a Chinese context. And if Americans (in particular) are more inclined to expect "We Changed The World" happy endings. Because that's our own national myth. The world was wrong before us and We Made It Better by inventing democracy and saving the world from despots, etc. (Which myth continues into the present in the form of every war we get involved in.)

And sometimes those endings are awesome. The power fantasies of saving everyone and everyone getting a happy ending and ending the reign of the evil and ushering in the age of Goodness and Light. But we also need the bittersweet endings. "The world was saved but not for me." Or we won the battle but the war continues. Or "I've done what I can the rest is up to others." Those are the endings that teach us how to keep going in real life, I think.

#asks #2ha #2ha spoilers #dumb husky and his white cat shizun #2ha meta #my meta #I didn't address the sex scenes thing #but I feel like that's a whole other post really

[simonfarnabyslegs]

for the ask game: Julian, Captain and Humphrey! :)

julian

a song that reminds me of them: a cop out, since this one is canon. any time i hear "i'll make love to you," i think of him singing that at music club (and also mary going "i don't want him toooo" lol). i also feel like he would LOVE britney spears's music.

what they smell like: really expensive but really bad aftershave and too much cologne. also alcohol and sex. but the first thing you notice is the bad aftershave.

an otp: him and robin. there is no other acceptable pairing. i do think it would be funny if he and fanny had a thing though. or him and the captain (alison walks in on them doing something and the captain just yells "WE'RE JUST A COUPLE OF CHAPS IN THE LIBRARY" while julian isn't even trying to keep what they were just doing a secret).

a notp: uhhh him and kitty. she's the only one i would be mad about tbh.

favorite platonic/familial relationships: the way he's like a really awful, bad-influence uncle to alison.

a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with: i can't think of one. we all generally agree that he's a hilarious bastard man and come up with stuff accordingly.

the position they sleep in: he sleeps in the exact middle of the bed, or he starts out on one side, since he's used to sharing in life, but gradually spreads out, and if anyone else tried to sleep in the same bed as him they'd be really annoyed because he always manages to hog so much space and leave them barely hanging onto the edge.

a crossover au i'd love to see them in: very unoriginal, but i'd love to see a horrible histories stupid deaths segment with him.

my favorite outfit they've ever worn: we've seen a couple now actually, unlike some of the other ghosts. but i really do prefer the no trousers look and anything else is slightly unsettling if i'm honest.

the captain

a song that reminds me of them: i really can't think of one. the captain isn't one of my favourite characters so i don't really think a lot about him when i listen to music. sorry.

what they smell like: weirdly, i think he smells like nothing. like. unsettlingly so. you almost want him to smell like something, but he just. doesn't. he's very clean, but he doesn't even smell like soap. it's just. an empty air smell, if you can describe it as such. he smokes, too, so you'd expect a tobacco smell or a smoke smell, but even that isn't there. this man just smells like nothing.

an otp: i don't ship him with any of the other ghosts in the house. i do think him and julian hooking up exactly one (1) time could lead to multiple hilarious comedic possibilities, but i don't want them to be in a relationship.

a notp: i saw someone shipping him with fanny and just... no. that doesn't make any sense.

favorite platonic/familial relationships: i love how he's just got that Dad Instinct. he looked at kitty and alison and went "isn't anyone going to father these young ladies?" and didn't wait for an answer.

a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with: i don't like the patcaps ship.

the position they sleep in: series 1 cap slept board-straight in the bed, almost like he was standing at attention. series 3 cap probably sleeps curled up on his side, or on his stomach, or curled up all nice and comfy.

a crossover au i'd love to see them in: young wwi era cap in series 2 of downton abbey. i don't know if i'd like to see him turn up as a young man in the trenches or one of the patients at downton, or maybe as a medical officer like thomas barrow, in the lower ranks, helping out in the background.

my favorite outfit they've ever worn: *gestures* this?

humphrey

a song that reminds me of them: "blue caravan" by vienna teng. after all the "mr. cheese" stuff, i got to thinking about how he probably has a lot of time to imagine the different lives he could have had if circumstances had been different, and this song is about imagining the perfect supportive, caring partner, but realising that they're not real and it's just a foolish self delusion. or perhaps a lighter, more hopeful version of the same theme, "jackie and wilson" by hozier, where the narrator once again imagines a partner and an ideal life which they haven't achieved yet, but they're still holding out for.

what they smell like: okay so tudors only bathed like once every six to eight weeks or something like that. they believed baths were bad for them. not only that, wealthy tudors' diets were appalling. so unfortunately he probably doesn't smell great. (but luckily i've never had much of a sense of smell, so.....)

an otp: him and someone who actually likes him and wants to talk to him and spend time with him. so far we haven't seen that, so for now i'll keep making up random ocs to set him up with.

a notp: him and thomas, since thomas is so horrible to him.

favorite platonic/familial relationships: i'd love to see him be yet another dad to alison, or to kitty.

a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with: i don't like the whole humphrey and jemima thing because a lot of the stuff is either really fucking uncomfortable, or the people who write it make it weird by babying jemima. she's 11-12 years old and they treat her like she's four years old and that just feels really weird to me. obviously she's a kid and she should be treated like one, but there's also such a thing as age appropriate parenting. also i'm pretty sure jemima is meant to be one of john's kids who also died of the plague so like. acting like she's all alone and hasn't got any parents or anyone at all is so confusing to me because if she's one of john's kids, she's got like twenty parents. we just don't see her with the plague ghosts because like any kid, she probably goes off and plays away from her parents during the day. anyway.

the position they sleep in: when he was alive i feel like he would fall asleep in a normal position, on his back or on his side, but when his valet or whoever went to wake him up in the morning, he was always like, hanging off the bed or laying at a weird angle and they were always like "how the fuck did he even get like that." in death, like. his head just sleeps however it was set down or dropped. and i'm a fan of your headcanon that the body just collapses wherever it is when his head falls asleep.

a crossover au i'd love to see them in: forgive me for saying downton abbey again but i'm doing a rewatch with one of my friends. i'm gonna throw him into the edwardian era as some random gentleman cousin and he and lady edith are going to be poor, pitiful, unlucky-in-love besties who bond over all the ridiculously tragic shit that's happened to them and how they always get bullied or left out of things.

my favorite outfit they've ever worn: he technically only has one outfit (damn the bbc for putting the whole costuming budget into the georgian episode instead of the tudor one. /j), but i like the dressed down version where he's just in the white shirt and the breeches. he looks. very handsome. in that scene. ahem.

#asks #ask game #thank you! :)

[reallivegeekgirl]

StanQuest

Something clicked on in my brain a couple months ago and suddenly Sebastian Stan became the hottest man alive. So I decided to watch everything he’s ever been in. A friend and I called it StanQuest.

Here are my spoiler-free reviews for anyone considering something similar (in inverse chronological order starting with latest works and going back in time. The stars are an overall rating of the work, not of Sebastian’s performance.

This only lists things I could find streaming for free or a price I was willing to pay. It does not count after credits scenes, music videos, or works in which he was uncredited.

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021) - TV show - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - This started it all. I very much enjoyed it. Good balance of humor and action, heart and heroics. I’ve watched it four times already, and will watch it again. Bucky Barnes is my favorite character of his and this is my favorite story of Bucky's so far. I can’t wait to see what he does next. (And I have a lot to say about how they treat his trauma in this show. I’ve definitely written about it before and may again.)

Monday (2020) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐ - This is the one where he gets naked. If that’s all you’re looking for, enjoy. It was a very realistic portrayal of a relationship between two deeply flawed people. It can get depressing. But hey, penis.

The Devil All the Time (2020) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - If you think Monday is depressing, this movie says “hold my beer”. But something about it is just captivating. It’s really disturbing, and if you’ve ever been screwed over by American Evangelical Christianity it might be more disturbing. Still, I’ve watched it twice. And as much of a bastard as Lee Bodecker is, he also looks really cuddly. He’s just barely in it.

The Last Full Measure (2019) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - You will cry. A lot. It’s based on a true story. Sebastian plays a man who cares more about his career than this weird quest dumped on his desk by his boss, but changes his mind and his heart as he investigates why a war hero was denied a medal of honor 34 years before. Definitely recommend.

Endings, Beginnings (2019) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - One of two love interests in the complicated life of Shailene Woodley’s Daphne, Sebastian is an adorable mess. The editing is interesting and fresh feeling. Watch it and you’ll see what I mean. Fair amount of sex in this movie, and you see his butt. It’s a very nice butt. I’ve watched this one a few times so far.

Avengers: Endgame (2019) - Movie - ⭐⭐ - There is no reason to watch this movie if you’re not familiar with at least most of the rest of the MCU. It plays merry hob with the rules of time travel, and only makes sense if you don’t really think about it. In my opinion, the ending is really freaking stupid comsidering his character’s history, but at least it sets up TFatWS, which was amazing.

We Have Always Lived in the Castle (2018) - Movie - ⭐ - If you’re into movies that are creepy but also almost nothing happens for most of the movie, this is the one for you. Sebastian is handsome as hell, but also a complete asshole. As fine as he is, I’m not gonna watch this again. I fucking hated it.

Destroyer (2018) - Movie - ⭐⭐- I had a hard time paying attention to the plot because it seemed like they made this movie just to get Nicole Kidman an Oscar nomination for wearing ugly makeup and playing a complete mess of a person. It’s a fine movie, and all of the performances are good. Sebastian looks surprisingly good with the short hair and goatee. Ultimately, the plot is depressing and the whole movie seems kind of pointless.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018) - Movie - ⭐⭐- Again, no reason to watch this if you aren’t already familiar with all the movies leading up to it. It’s long and the villain looks like Grimace and a California Raisin had an evil baby. The ending made me scream with frustration that I had to wait until the next one came out. Now I just watch them back-to-back if I watch them at all. It’s not a good movie, but it is part of a long-form story that I enjoy in general.

I’m Not Here (2017) - Movie - ⭐⭐- Another depressing one. Told over the course of one man’s terrible life, it’s a sad account of how much your parents can fuck you up. Sebastian portrays the middle part of the man’s life. J.K. Simmons plays the current day part and unreliable narrator.. Do not watch unless you are fully prepared to be sad for a really long time after.

I, Tonya (2017) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐- This movie is hilarious. I mean, the true story is insane and really stupid. The spousal abuse is hard to watch, and Sebastian’s mustache in this is a war crime. But the acting is great and it’s a very engaging movie. The parts that aren’t horrifying are pretty funny.

Logan Lucky (2017) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Watch. This. Movie. Sebastian Stan is only in it a little, but it’s a really fun, clever caper/heist movie and everyone in it is fantastic. I don’t want to say anything else about it if you’re going in fresh. I’ll be rewatching this one a lot

Captain America: Civil War (2016) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - If you ignore how kind of silly the conflict over the Sokovia Accords is, this is a good Marvel movie. Sebastian gets a lot of screen time because Bucky is the more pressing concern/urgent point of contention than the Accords. Bucky is my favorite character of his partly because of this movie.

The Martian (2015) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - I’m watching it(again) as I’m typing this. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve watched it. Sebastian Stan isn’t in it very much, but he’s very cute and so is his little story arc. Mostly I watch it because Ridley Scott made a fantastic movie. If you can get your hands on the Blu-Ray, it comes with a ton of extras. They made a very complete story that isn’t all seen in the movie. A lot of it is stuff about Mars, but there are also extra “crew” interviews, so there’s another chance to see more of Sebastian’s character.

Ricki and the Flash (2015) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - He’s not in this very much, but he’s very cute when he does appear. It’s all about the relationship between Ricki and her daughter. Definitely rewatchable. Meryl Streep is fantastic, because she’s Meryl Streep.

The Bronze (2015) - Movie - ⭐ - This is not a good movie. It’s about Olympic gymnastics, so it might be slightly more interesting right now while the Olympics are happening. Sebastian isn’t in it a lot, but his performance is certainly… memorable. Weirdest sex scene I’ve ever seen. Worth watching just for that.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - This is the one I can watch over and over. I bought a Winter Soldier face mask for when I need to feel like a badass. Bucky’s story is really sad, but he’s also extremely sexy with the metal arm and determined walk.

Once Upon a Time (2012-2013) - TV Show - ⭐⭐⭐ - This show is so stupid, but it’s also fun. If you haven’t seen it, the premise is that fairy tale characters are real and live in another land. Snow White’s Evil Queen casts a spell to transport a bunch of them to a town she creates in Maine called Storybrooke, and gives them all fake memories so she can be mayor and watch them all not remember who they are. Sebastian plays Jefferson, a.k.a. The Mad Hatter. He’s in a few episodes in season 1 and 2, and doesn’t get a ton of screen time, but he’s really cute and tragic as Jefferson. It probably helps to watch the whole first season just to understand his episodes, but that’s up to your tolerance for weird shit. Note: IMDB says he’s in an episode uncredited, but I’ve watched it and didn’t see him anywhere in that one.

Labyrinth (2012) - TV Mini-Series - ⭐⭐⭐ - Two episodes that tell a complete story. Sebastian isn’t in this one a whole lot, but he is adorable. It’s a strange story about religious stuff and a sort of Holy Grail that’s three books. It’s hard to describe. It’s on Amazon Prime right now, but they’re taking it down August 8, 2021, so watch it while you can.

The Apparition (2012) - Movie - ⭐ - If you like horror movies, you might like this. I did not. From what I understand, it’s not a very good horror movie. Watch with caution and expect it to suck.

Political Animals (2012) - TV Mini-Series - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - I had to buy this through Apple and watch it on a Mac, but it was worth it. Sebastian plays TJ Hammond, the out gay son of a former American president who is clearly based on Bill Clinton. Sigorney Weaver plays the former first lady and current secretary of state. TJ struggles with addiction and relationship problems. His performance is heart-wrenching. The whole show is pretty great. I wish there was more of it.

Gone (2012) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐ - More of a psychological thriller than a horror movie. Sebastian has a small amount of screen time as the worried boyfriend. Amanda Seyfried is good. She carries the film well on her own.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - If you haven’t seen this yet, I’d like to know what it’s like under your rock. This is a movie I can rewatch a lot, and have. I 100% cried in the theater. Sebastian looks fantastic in uniform as Bucky Barnes. This is his introduction and the start of his ultimately tragic story (before he’s saved by his best friend, again).

Black Swan (2010) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Sebastian is barely in this. He’s basically just in one scene in a dance club. But I watched it to try to complete StanQuest, and I had seen it before. It’s a good movie, but might induce some nightmares, depending on what scares you. If Natalie Portman didn’t at least get a nomination for an award she was robbed.

Gossip Girl (2007-2010) - TV Show - ⭐⭐ - Carter Baizen is a little shit. The episodes with Sebastian in them might have made more sense if I watched the show from the beginning, but I didn’t want to. His character is an asshole, but a very cute one.

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐- The people who made this movie are bad at math, and their rules of time travel are sketchy at best, but it is funny and entertaining. Sebastian plays a ski patrol bro who’s paranoid about the Russians, which is hilarious irony to me. Worth watching if you want to laugh at something dumb.

Kings (2009) - TV Show - ⭐⭐⭐- Sebastian plays Jack Benjamin, the closeted gay son of the king of a fictional place. It’s loosely based on the David and Goliath story from the Bible. Sebastian is so sad and so gay. His family makes his life a living hell. Ian McShane is a force of nature in this. It’s only one season. I’ve watched it twice. I will watch it again.

Spread (2009) - Movie - no stars - This movie was practically unwatchable. It stars Ashton Kutcher and Anne Heche as a romantic couple, I guess? I ended up just skipping to Sebastian’s scenes and only watching those. Still painful.

The Covenant (2006) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐ - This movie is so fuckig stupid, and I will watch it a ridiculous number of times. It’s about magic and teenagers, like The Craft for boys. Nothing about it makes sense. It’s terrible, almost irredeemable, but an evil Sebastian with magic powers is a siren song that will make me steer my boat right into the rocks.

And there you have it. There are a bunch of earlier things on IMDB that I just can’t find or don’t want to pay to rent. Maybe some day I’ll watch them and add them to this list.

#sebastian stan #bucky barnes #the winter soldier #the falcon and the winter soldier #james buchanan barnes #monday: movie #the devil all the time #the last full measure #we have always lived in the castle #destroyer #endings beginnings #i'm not here #i tonya #logan lucky #ricki and the flash #the martian #the bronze #once upon a time #the covenant #spread #kings: show #Labyrinth: show #hot tub time machine #black swan #gossip girl #gone: movie #political animals #the apparition #movie reviews #celebrity crushes

[imsorryjughead]

Chapter 2: If I had a Nickel for every show that had High Schoolers Twerking I'd have Two Nickels

You ready for 40 minutes of misunderstanding? Of course you are!

So like right away this ain’t a murder mystery is it? Like it acts like it. But a murder show doesn’t wait til the end to drop the first piece of evidence. Jason died so everyone could be a horny slut around him. 

Let’s talk about it.

First off during Jughead's narration there was a brief shot of the Blossoms sharing a milkshake with two straws. The two fucked.

Second I misremembered and when Betty asked if Archie loved her last episode he told her and I quote “I can’t give you the answer you want.” Which is worse than I thought.

Anyway Archie can’t sleep cause having critical evidence is keeping him up at night. Betty won’t talk to him cause he ripped her heart out and ate it. Like a true best friend. So he does the only sane option and runs across town without a shirt on to Grundy’s. Don’t worry he put on pants. Can’t have that riverdick flopping around on network television.

Archie is talking to his groomer without a shirt because you like this viewer. Saying that they need to say something. Grundy being shit is like, no I’ll lose my job and go to jail, and you’ll go to jail Archie.

Which sounds off. I don't know enough about statutory rape but cursory research shows Grundy is fucked, as she should be. But I’m not seeing immediate legal action against Archie. Sure it’ll ruin his reputation no doubt, but here an adult is clearly using their position of power over their student.

This ain’t a healthy relationship Archie, she’s using you for hot sex. 

With a minor.

Also she’s like playing the cello for no reason. Like from this intro scene til her scene at the end. She’s sitting in her music room alone playing the cello. It’s weird.

Betty’s parents are… reporters… maybe? Like they tell her they’re gonna have late nights. Then later Betty’s mom bribes the mortician to look at Jason's body. Which like the money Hermione got last time is in a box of stuff I hope goes somewhere. 

Point is Betty’s mom sits down with her daughter and tells her that her friends suck and that she shouldn't talk to any of them. Betty ignores her because she's Crazy and tries to go through her day ignoring the fact Archie and Veronica made out in a closet. So they simply decide to ignore the trauma. 

I give it 5 minutes.

Jughead spends most of the episode being a weirdo and looming over Archie in what I assume to be attempts at rekindling their friendship. Right now it’s not clear why. Like the best I can infer is Archie was too busy fucking his teacher and that caused a rift. When Fred talks about Jughead he’s still friendly, so I can only assume it’s a recent development. I have complete faith in the writers to fuck this up.

Betty asks Kevin how he felt finding the body and Kevin says it was more traumatic explaining why he was about to do gay stuff with Moose. Something about his dad being the sheriff fuck I guess remember that for later or something. The principle gives an announcement about anyone coming forward with info to help and Cheryl *insert Taken reference here*.

Also Veronica is trying to smooth things over with Betty, buying her all this expensive stuff and I thought these bitches were broke. That’s why they moved here right? So how the hell is she air lifting cupcakes from New York. I give these guys another scene before it blows up in their face.

Let’s talk about Kevin's Biphobia.

I take back liking Kevin. This all feels gross to me now. In the next scene they're all in science class and everyone is pairing up for peak dramatic flair and Kevin pairs up with Moose. And Kevin tells him that he’s got demons and he should stick to girls.

Ok Kevin. Let's talk about how you went out with a man in a relationship. With a girl named Midge. She sounds adorable. And here you are seducing him then gaslighting him for trying to understand himself. Fuck you Kevin. How bout you stick to girls you fucking cunt. Piece of shit. 

Fred is now my favorite character.

Cheryl stabs a frog. 

Lunch goes about as well as you expected. Archie plays a shitty song and causes Betty to cry because she's in love with a man who belongs on a college brochure. She cries and walks away and now everyone is sad. Anyway the principal talks to Archie cause they made brief eye contact and now Mr.Weatherbee knows something's up. 

Archie goes to Mrs.Grundy still playing the damn cello. Saying that Weatherbee told him it was ok to talk to him and nothing would hurt him. Grundy rejects this because she had sex with a minor. Then manipulates him into saying he loves her. Jughead sees the two looking romantic and these two aren't smart. Then again this is the guy who made out with a girl in a closet when both knew it was a bad idea. But eh teenagers.

The cheerleaders are twerking. It’s a choreographed twerk. Schools won't let girls wear revealing clothing for far less but they can do this shit? 

I hate it here.

Cheryl tells her team that she refuses to be stomped on or some shit. Cheryl is crazy.

Then Betty hangs out with her to spite Veronica. Which only blows up in her face then Cheryl accuses her sister of murdering Jason. 

Guys holy shit I don’t care about any of this.

Like fuck Betty’s mom burns some incense or some shit. Archie and Jughead almost throw hands because Jughead tells him to tell the truth and that she's using him. All fair points. Veronica talks to Archie about Betty. Veronica talks to Betty about Archie. 

I’m skipping to the Pep rally. Most of this is seventh heaven white people problems anyway.

I’m not even talking about the student longue. It’s like they needed a place for them to have scenes at the school but the outside lunch shots weren’t good enough. Its a weird rec room in a school. 

It haunts me.

The fucking cheer leaders are twerking at a school event. Imagine carrying a kid for nine months. Raising it. Teaching it. Bonding with it. And It shakes its ass on the football field. I’d late term abort it with a hammer.

 There's some more fucking bullshit. Archie tells Grundy to suck it he’s telling the principal. He makes up with Jughead. Cheryl has a breakdown seeing Archie on the field thinking he’s Jason. It’s all so fucking dull.

Oh Josie and The Pussycats are here. Woo.

Later on Betty and Veronica go to Pops and Archie and Jughead join them and it’s almost like they’re fucking friends.

Then the next day Cheryl is arrested for killing Jason. So why did she even try to blame Betty’s sister. Who knows the writers don’t.

This show isn’t good. 

Its fucking terrible. Like actually bad.

I have zero faith that anything worthwhile will happen. That much like the comics I will be stuck in a cycle of pain.  Like most of this stuff is typical High school misunderstanding then the dumbest shit you’ve seen happens.

God help me.

-----

I had to come back cause I tired myself out but I wanna mention a few more things.

First, Is Pop’s the only place people get food from. I have yet to see someone cook. This entire town subsists on Burgers and Milkshakes. Also Pop seems nice, I like him. He gave Hermione a job, what a bro. 

Fred is just a good dad. He is super supportive of his son and his advice is finally the one to get through to Archie. It is because of him the story even moves. He offer Jughead to come in for dinner. I love this man.

Also I gotta say when the main four are together not doing bullshit its, Dare I say enjoyable? Maybe it is cause the franchise is almost 100 but when they aren’t doing CW BS they do feel like friends. Like the writers, adding this shit makes everything worse.

Cheryl is a constant mood. She is Hitchcock levels of unhinged and so far she’s stolen the scene every time she shows up. She belongs in something better, more fitting of the mystery genre.

I Feel bad for Jason. I dunno if he needs to die but as it stands Laura Palmer he is not. Oh god it's Network Television Twin Peaks. Oh Shit the Student lounge is the Red room.  

Kevin's Biphobic tendencies are super gross and like I’m not sure the writers understood what they were doing. Then again this is the same network who blue balled Supernatural for 15 seasons leaving them to accept it cannon through Spanish dubs.

Seriously it was like two lines of teenage girls twerking. Like we all know teenagers have sex. We all had that one kid who we saw got pregnant in high school. But this is super weird. I blame Ms. Grundy.

I’m upset Betty’s mom and Cheryl didn’t interact when she was at Betty’s house. It would have been some Cell Saga shit. 

One last thing. The pussy cats are playing a version of sugar sugar. Now last episode they said they only perform their own music. Now if that's true then the song cannot be the same one made in 1969. Meaning that Homer Simpson could not have been listening to it in 1993 while stuck on a raft with Bart and Ned Flanders. So in the Riverdale cannon what was he listening to when stuck at sea?

Tune in next week where probably Grundy fucks shit up again and Cheryl eats a human heart or something. 

#season 1 #review #recap #riverdale #archie #jughead #veronica #betty

[thequibblah]

directors cut for WTRF? 🥺👉👈 not biased at all obviously just objective third party asking for a directors cut hmmm hmmmmm

literally how could u do this every other word in that fic is an easter egg i can't shut up about..... bestie u are about to have regrets

one thing u should know is that 90% of things in this fic have real-world equivalents and its not even like....... hidden equivalents. serie primo = serie a, for instance. this trend is going to continue and i won't apologise <3

fun fact i named the bar the Bar and the drinks after shapes because i was too lazy to come up with something actually clever

this bit

I’m grinning to myself by the time she approaches my table.

was a very intentional fakeout and if you read this and thought "she" would be lily, feel free to sue me for emotional damages

the biggest conundrum of this AU was, how are jily not going to have met in school when magic exists? the solution was, of course, having multiple magic schools. but i couldn't let one of them have hogwarts, that didn't seem fair. i know i did sort of let lily have it..... but i felt more comfortable making hogwarts a university so there was a legit reason why james wasn't there and in gryffindor (if he'd gone he absolutely would have been)

once solved, i did the fun thing of naming them! ottaline gambol's was easy, i just scrolled through the list of ministers for magic and picked a progressive one. peverell hall was a whim, made all the funnier when lily's reaction is:

Much was made at Otty’s — one of the more progressive magical schools, named for one of the more progressive Ministers of Magic — of schools like Peverell Hall and St. George’s. The latter, I know, is chock-full of pureblooded elite. Peverell Hall is supposed to be slightly better, but still.

dang, it's gonna be funny if she ever finds out james is a descendant of the guy it's named after

fun fact, i included this because peter's question was a real thought i had when reading bond and free, your inspiring writing knows no limits:

The first thing you conjure in Walking Wombat is a yellow quill... “Why yellow?” Peter asked. Eddie gave him a strange look. “Why not?”

i realised i'd put jily in the same conundrum they had in tis the fucking season here:

It’s only then that I remember she’s just bought us drinks. I turn back to my triangle. “Oh, shit.” I suppose I can pawn it off on one of the others.

...but of course the resolution is rather different, and i do so enjoy a james with no filter (aka default james)

I briefly lose control of my brain and my tongue. “Is it too soon to say I’m in love with you?”

by the way, no-filter james will be a theme. wild things sure do run fast but not as fast as this boy runs his mouth!

also, another interesting challenge here was making sure james has a reason to be the way he is in AU. i love playing around with james's childhood/background and seeing how that affects his character while (hopefully!) staying true to who he is. i did that in ttfs by having him move around a lot and not meet the marauders until after the flashback timeline, which is why he's less of a git — he doesn't have the level of comfort in a social setting that canon james has with hogwarts, which is basically his playground from day 2 of first year lol

here, james was probably a fkn nightmare all through school, but of course he gets a big ego check when his quidditch career is derailed. i imagine his years in italy as a continuation of that humility lesson.

I will fully admit I used to be a cocky prick. This is what comes of being a kid who grew up with everything. But one useful thing that the whole fiasco four years ago taught me is humility. I’ve learned how to ask nicely for another chance.

and so much of writing him in wtrf is juggling that typical confidence with the insecurity/fear of losing something he's invested so much in (and has seen slip away before). it's really new to me, because typically i give lily uncertain life circumstances, but i suppose it's both of them in this AU.

the car thing was... i swear didn't start out as smutty, it was purely because i wanted a way to establish lily as muggleborn in a world where the connotations of not having magical parents is very different. more to come on that!

also, come to think of it, by this metric...

I’m now in dangerous territory, since that adds another impressive action to her running tally.

...i think james is already in love with her LOL

this bit:

The street is considered indecent and the downstairs hallway would have our landlady come running at once, so if it pleases Your Honour, we would recommend the sitting room sofa.

...was actually because in draft one lily was a lawyer, but then it was funny enough that i didn't want to take it out, but NOW i realise it makes it sound a little like she's addressing james as your honour, which.... hm. but anyway, we move on

Marc Bolan begs us to get it on through the stereo, vocalising my thoughts exactly.

the song here was initially "you shook me" (h/t @keepingupwithpotters) but i chickened out because zeppelin is SO horny dfjkhgkjs

also, it gave me so much joy to read everyone reacting to lily thinking about her ex (the general vibe was "who the fuck is this guy!!! ew!!!!") — rest assured (or, unassured??) that he has a part to play in all this. anyway, this is one of my fave lines:

He’s just a person, and there’s such a relief in sleeping with James and not the myth of a guy.

because as any come together reader knows....

Just James. Just James. It was never just James.

wtrf lily will learn!

literally the whole world knows i'm obsessed with needle drops that have no subtlety at all, but this one...

We just laugh, tangled together in a sweaty heap, as “Heaven Is in the Back Seat of My Cadillac” plays through the car’s speakers. “On the nose, isn’t it?” James says, sitting up.

...was pure luck, because i was looking up the top hits on the uk singles chart for the week(ish) this scene takes place in so that i could find a song that would realistically play on the radio, saw this, and was like omg the stars really do align

i feel like the thing i enjoy most about writing romance is the importance i get to place in noticing/looking/observing (and sometimes, not noticing!). it's just such a powerful but simple writerly tool, and god knows i am obsessed with pithy descriptions anyway, so this bit i am especially happy with:

James is already waiting, leaning against the car with his hands in his pockets. I feel as though I’m seeing him for the first time, the faint light of the flickering streetlamp catching him in profile: the strong slope of his nose, the hard line of his jaw, the curve of his smile. He studies the facade of our building with open curiosity, and I wonder what he’s looking for.

(one can only imagine james's train of thought in this moment. perhaps "ah. here lives the future love of my life"?)

“Thanks,” she tacks on at the end. I tip my head to one side in confusion. “For what?” “For, I don’t know. Being nice.” She laughs awkwardly. “I don’t do this very much.”

it wouldn't be a quibblah original tee em without some discourse to come about the nature of romantic/sexual relationships, would it? one thing i enjoy about this AU ("one thing" i say as if this isn't the billionth thing in a list) is that i get to write a romantic lily who's squaring that romanticism with what she perceives as the culture of the times. (this is a bit of a staple in all my characterisations of lily, but it is not often paired with casual sex, the complication of all complications!)

oh this bit literally wrote itself like i didn't even pause to think just vomited it out:

In the morning — and it must be early still — the sun streams through Lily’s sorry excuses for curtains with aggression that cannot be ignored. I crack open an eye to find myself sprawled out across her bed, quite literally spread-eagled. She’s attached to my side like a barnacle. Or a very pretty barnacle, anyway.

i'm especially proud of james's voice in this story. i don't often write first-person fic and i was worried how it'd turn out, but i think james as a character/narrator typically colours his own 3rd-person narration so strongly that it ended up a smoother transition than i'd feared!

also i just. i can't resist throwing in comic relief and i hope that this whole segment was a gentle enough preparation for the awkwardness that followed LOL

All of a sudden, the balcony door bursts open. I nearly drop the mug. “What the—” Mary pokes her head around the corner, sporting a righteous smile. “Morning, handsome.” Over her shoulder she shouts, “He’s on the balcony!” I blink. There’s a sound from inside the flat, as if something very large has just been dropped. Then a swear. “Oh, shit,” I say, realisation dawning, “you weren’t looking for me, were you? It’s so loud out here—” Mary cups a hand around her mouth and stage-whispers, “Lily was frantic.” She’s quite violently yanked back, and Lily herself appears in the doorway, slightly out of breath. “Should’ve checked the balcony first,” she says, and closes the door before Mary can insert herself into the space again. “Hi,” I say, which is agreed-upon best practice for greeting a woman you’ve just had fantastic sex with and ideally would like to have sex with again.

to this day i don't know what lily dropped. let's hope it wasn't expensive!

Captained the under-17 English squad at the World Cup some years back, Serie Primo’s lead goal-scorer of last year… Only an injury in what should’ve been his first season at Puddlemere mars his record. I wince reading about it and comparing it to a heap of press clippings. James Potter was hurt, and Puddlemere didn’t fancy paying for him not to play, so they shipped him off to Milan.

(you cannot imagine how much pointed interrogation of my brother it took to gather this intel.) i constantly worry that i've got dates or timelines wrong somehow — you might notice i tweaked under-17, which used to be under-19 until i realised that made no sense (even though in terms of its career importance i would much preferred it to have been u-19.... anyway). i also found out that u-17 football squads don't actually have captains but i said fuck it on that count.

but obviously i started writing this AU for the sports possibilities, only to discover i'm going to have to interfere a great deal with the Timeline (you shall see in future instalments).

god i really went through the whole fic. like i reread the whole thing to do this. here u go clare jfbghjfd

#this has no right to be this long #wtrf #clareee75 #ask me #director's cuts

[codevassie]

Superpower TS Fic Recs

[***Let me know if I’ve missed anything on the Content Warnings!]

[**Do Not Ask Authors for Updates!]

[*Leave these authors Comments, please and thank you!]

What You Can Stand by manyfandomsonelog

Status: Incomplete, Work In Progress

Summary:  Virgil tried so, so hard to avoid becoming a supervillain. He really did. But when your superpower is literally manifesting a person's worst fears, it's a hard thing to avoid. Still, he really, really tried. Even when his own parents feared him. Even when the whole school feared him. Even when he hated himself and his Propensity so much that he wanted to give in. He might've succeeded, if he hadn't met him- Roman Reyes, AKA Roman Spectacular, AKA The Prince, AKA the worst thing that has ever happened to him (which is saying something).

Relationships: Prinxiety, Logicality 

CW: Psychological stuff, nightmares, bullying, physical harm, spiders, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, brief discussion of racism, self-hatred,  bomb, explosion, blood, injury, bad/abusive parenting, imprisonment, fire,  homophobia, pedophilia mention, discussion of child abuse, evidence of physical abuse, sexual innuendo, anxious thoughts, death, funeral, flashback, reference to sex, fairly aggressive arguing and yelling, public speaking, secondhand embarrassment

My thoughts: My quarantine savior!!! I started the fic like a week into quarantine, so I really mean that literally. The characterization is absolutely fantastic--I love seeing all of them interact. It’s so natural and fun and interesting. The plot is also just wonderful--one thing keeps happening after another and these guys just cannot seem to get a break. The pacing is awesome, and whether it’s a character or plot chapter, you just can’t look away. Log is such a fantastic writer and a wonderful person, so if you like awesome prinxiety, superpowers and secret identities, trust and betrayal, humor and angst, you really need to read this one! 

Rewind by ravenclawicecream 

Status: Incomplete, Work In Progress

Summary: When a group of superheroes show up to kill him, it's just another Wednesday for Virgil Messana. After five years of being on the run, he's used to the idea people want him dead. That fact is just an unfortunate side effect of having the power to destroy everything you touch. What does surprise him, however, is when he finds himself agreeing to join those superheros and become part of the team. It's not long until Virgil learns that all the heroes have chapters of their lives they'd rather keep unpublished, along with events they'd rather not relive. And, as he spends more time with the team, he realizes that he may know certain members much better than he'd originally thought. Virgil longs for a moment to figure everything out but by then it's too late. He's already caught up in a bigger scheme; one where they no longer have the power to control their own destinies. With every movement monitored and every action proven to be calculated, the lines between allies and enemies blur, leaving Virgil caught in between. When the stakes are inevitably raised, the remaining heroes must do all they can to change the future of the world. But time has always been a cruel master, and sometimes the only answer is to rewind.

Relationships: Loceit, Logicality, Prinxiety, Remile

CW: Major Character Death, Murder

My thoughts: Gosh, I wish this one got more love. It’s probably the MCD tag, so understandable, but also take into consideration the time travel tag and perhaps give it a chance? I feel like this fic is setting up for so much, and I cannot wait to see how it all goes down. I have so many questions for this fic which is always a good sign (so many that I may have freaked the author out with my WALL of questions on chapter three don’t worry about it /j). Please. Read. This. 

Powerless by patentpending 

Status: Complete

Summary: “People like us,” Logan had once remarked to Virgil. “Are statistical anomalies.”(Almost) Everyone in the world has powers. As for those who don’t, well, they’re such a small part of the population - only 0.04% - why would anyone care about them?Ever since he realized what people mean when they call him Powerless, Virgil Sanders has tried to fight back against the system that oppresses people like him, Patton, and Logan. When Patton’s bakery is targeted in a hate crime, he finally snaps. With the help of a mysterious sponsor, Virgil becomes a villain, ready to remake a broken society. The only thing standing in his way is the world’s most Powerful (and infuriatingly charming) superhero: The Prince, who is hiding the fact that his gilded life isn’t as perfect as it may seem.

Relationships: Prinxiety, Logicality, Roman/Female Fanon Character 

CW: Classism, Unreliable Narrator, Thinly Veiled Criticism of Society,  emetophobia, violence, gun mention,  implied suicide attempt, dub-con, mentions of blood, graphic depictions of a riot, non-graphic description of a wound, possessive and abusive behavior, kid being kicked out of the house by parent, kidnapping, kinda torture (?), body horror, gore, graphic descriptions of injuries, emotional abuse, police brutality, pain and injury, burning building, swearing, vomiting, murder, panic attack, dysphoria, misgendering, minor character death, major character death, self deprecating talk, mentions of suicide

My thoughts: Well, doing a TS superhero rec without Powerless is just treason. I don’t know--I’m trying to figure out a way to describe it and instead launching up to pace around the room with an instant replay of different scenes in my head. I mean, the grocery store chapter?!?! This stuff lives in my head rent free. The characterization, the banter, the tension, the motives--I can’t describe it y’all. Just, if you love yourselves (love yourselves, please <3) then just go read it. Or reread it. Do that for yourselves. 

Waterspout by Greenninjagal

Status: Complete

Summary: "Hail!” The boy says all smug smiles that Virgil immediately hates. “You’re Recluse aren’t you?”As if there was some other spider themed weirdo who clung to buildings in their free time.“No,” Virgil says, because he can. *** Virgil finds himself stuck on the side of a building in a rainstorm and is helped by an annoying-admittedly attractive-guy.

Relationships: Prinxiety

CW: Mild cursing, storms

My thoughts: This one is very cute. Virgil is a spiderman-like hero who went up a waterspout, and down comes some rain trying to wash him out. Roman comes to help, they banter a bit, and, maybe, there’s a little surprise at the end. I would not mind more of this AU. In fact, I would love it. But that should not discount how wonderfully made a oneshot it is either. The author wrote it perfectly for the length it is, presenting the charm of the characters, great plot and symbolism, and left me wanting more at the same time. Definitely go check this one out. 

Technically. It’s A Secret by supervillain 

Status: Incomplete, Work In Progress

Summary: Virgil Storm, the adopted son of a reality TV star with telekinesis was born without a power. That's been a problem for him all his life. His only friend is Patton Vega, his only chance at romance the irritating Cros Corson--until he gets a job at a top-secret facility, playing babysitter to a bunch of kids with dangerous powers and even more dangerous minds. Kids who happen to be exactly his age.Yeah, this is going to be a piece of cake, especially when the enigmatic villain Believe (aka Roman Torres) takes a liking to Virgil. And even worse, when Virgil starts to more than like him back. Pull in some evil mad scientists, a plague created to decimate the world, a murderous villain, an obnoxious stalker, and the greatest Kinetic the world has ever known, and you're in for a hell of a ride.

Relationships: Prinxiety, Logicality 

CW:  Anxiety attacks, arson, murder, minor character death, blood, spiders, being eaten alive, falling, death, sleeping, fighting, cop mention 

My thoughts: I’m behind on this one, and I wanted to catch up on it before I posted this rec list. Today is the last Friday of the year though, so I decided to just go ahead and do it. I love this fic a ton so far, and I can’t wait to read more. I can tell the author put a lot of thought into writing the world and characters, and that the plot is interesting and deliberate. There’s mysteries unfolding which intrigues me So Bad. It’s a super interesting one, so I’d say go read it!

#fic recs #sanders sides #ts #friday fic recs #prinxiety #NOTE: the two that have a wall of CWs are mostly just warnings from the beginnings of chapters #which means they can be skipped over fairly easily #so today is the last friday of the year (holy snit) so i wanted to get this out #i've been trying to make this list since like may but i don't read a whole lot of superpower aus #hope everyone is having a great one!

[bunchofbooks]

It’s Time for Kyrsten’s Opinion: Flowers in the Attic Review Edition

Flowers in the Attic is the first book in the Dollanganger series but VC Andrews. It follows the Dollanganger family; the four children, Chris, Cathy, Carrie, Cory and their mother, Corrine. They were a perfect family, until their father is suddenly killed in a car accident on the way home from work one evening. The four children must stay hidden in the attic of their estranged grandparent’s estate for the sake of inheritance. Their mother assures them this is only temporary - one night at most; but the days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. And the months turned into years with no glimmer of escape. 

While this book was a really enjoyable read it was also a really heavy read. Under the cut I have posted a spoiler free review of the book, with my thoughts and opinions including content warnings.

Before I even start getting into the review I wanted to jump right into the content warning. A quick sidebar, I first heard about VC Andrews through the podcast, My Favorite Murder. The women who host it were talking about reading this book in middle school and high school, I thought that it can’t be too bad if they read it when they were that young. The woman who was ringing me up at the store when I bought it also said she read it when she was in middle school and said it was intense, but that she was a baby so it probably wasn’t that bad. I just want to know WHERE WERE THEIR PARENTS?!?! This book needs a lot of content warnings and I’m hoping that I cover all of them here even if I don’t get into all of them in the review. Content warning for: death of a parent, abuse / neglect, self - mutilation, incest (holy incest Batman), suicidal thoughts, victim blaming, and death of a child. 

The estranged grandmother is a vile woman who is abusive and neglectful of her grandchildren. She dangles the threat over the children and Corrine that all she has to do is tell one of their maids that Corrine has 4 children from her marriage and they can kiss that inheritance goodbye. The neglect seems obvious, these kids are locked in an attic 24/7, in the dead of summer and on the coldest nights during the winter, but she also at points is angry with the children and refuses to bring them food because they broke one of her many rules. One part in particular that sticks out to me is when she tells Cathy she can either cut all of her hair off or they can go one week without food. When Cathy does not agree and the kids are able to ration what little food they have left for the entire week, she drugs Cathy and dumps tar in her hair so she must shave it off; and even after she cuts off her hair, the grandmother still does not bring the children food.The children become so hungry that Chris cuts his arm and forces his younger sisters and brother to drink his blood (insert my screaming here). The grandmother whips her adult daughter and then makes her show the marks left to her young children so they see what she is capable of. The grandmother attacks Chris and Cathy, whipping them both and then beating Cathy until she is unconscious with a hair brush. 

 However, the grandmother is not the only culprit here. Corrine, while she starts out as being loyal to her children, starts coming up to the attic less and less once she starts getting some money from her father, leaving them to fend for themselves. At one point she leaves for days, not telling her children where she is going or when she will be back. When she does come back she does not understand why her children are not excited she had been on a trip nor do they want to hear about it or see what she has brought back for them. Corrine gaslights her children, saying that they chose to come with her. They chose to make these sacrifices of staying in an attic all this time. They chose this life for themselves. As if they had a choice in the matter at all. Corrine then leaves them in the attic. . . again. 

The children are told by Corrine that they must only stay in the attic for one night, until she can get back into the good graces of her estranged father so they can get the inheritance. The children ask what she did to make her family disowned her out the way they did and for a little bit, all Corrine will tell her kids is that she did something that her family did not approve of. Instantly I’m thinking, oh she stole money, she ran off and got married, she got pregnant before she was married. It takes place in the 1950’s so while that isn’t the end of the world today, I can see how an affluent family would want to keep that out of the public to save face. NOPE I WAS VERY WRONG! I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! The mother was disowned by her family because she was in a relationship with her father’s step brother - or her half uncle - but don’t worry no one else thinks it’s wrong (except for the grandmother and grandfather who are painted to be the villains in all of this)  because he was so much younger than Corrine’s father and they were only half siblings. Have no fear though, because this is not the only instance of incest that we get to read about in Flowers in the Attic! Cathy - who narrates the story - and her older brother, Chris, begin a relationship. Which somehow goes from creepy to creepier. Cathy catches Chris spying on her when she is naked. Even more concerning was during the same scene, Cathy tells Chris to go away and he ignores her to keep staring at his sister. When Chris and Cathy are kissing in bed, Cathy tells Chris to stop and he says that what they are doing is not wrong, because they are only kissing and not having sex. . . However Chris your thinking is flawed because they do have sex, which will be brought up at my next therapy appointment and every therapy appointment from now until my dying day. While it is not a long scene, it is certainly graphic and more brother / sister sex scenes than I ever wanted to read. After they have sex, Chris is saying how he feels awful for what they did and Cathy says that she is to blame because she wears short clothes that don’t fit. If this were a youtube video this is the point I would insert the clip of someone screaming bitch what the fuck. 

Flowers in the Attic,  while definitely one of the most intense books I have ever read was enjoyable. There were aspects of it that I thought were amazing. VC Andrews was able to make it feel like I was in Foxworth Hall with the Dollanganger children in the attic and could make me feel claustrophobic even if I was reading outside or on a train. You really felt like time was ticking by and you were also waiting for the grandmother to catch you doing something wrong (not quite having sex with your brother, maybe something a little less. . . weird, like looking at your hair in the mirror, which is in fact a rule that the grandmother has because we don’t promote vanity. No sir, not at Foxworth Hall). VC Andrews would drop it on you like a bomb that all of this time had passed, the seasons bled into one another flawlessly. She would have one of the children say something, for instance, “sometimes eight months can feel like eight years”, and it hits you like a ton of bricks that it has been eight months since they first entered that attic, while also dropping that they should have been there only for one night. 

Another thing that I loved was how much VC Andrews made me hate Corrine. Corrine Dollanganger is truly one of the most awful fictional parents I have read, but she isn’t instantly an awful person. At the beginning she is a wonderful mother who I genuinely believe would have done anything for her children. However, slowly VC Andrews would peel back these layers and show how having this money corrupted Corrine. Some of her finer moments include asking her 14 and 12 year old to provide a quality kindergarten education to her five year old twins so when they went back to school they wouldn’t be too far behind. Ma’am your children are literally  living in an attic they’re going to have much bigger issues other than being behind in school. When the youngest son, Cory accidentally locks himself in a trunk, she is nowhere to be seen nor does she want to hear it, but she acts like mother of the year because she brings toys to the kids. However, the most infuriating thing about Corrine is how she causes so many fights among the children. Cathy tries to point out how messed up their situation is, but Chris does not want to hear about it and jumps to defend the mother who couldn't care less about him. Cathy at the age of twelve was left taking care of herself, including going through puberty, and her five year old brother and sister and Corrine would get all of the praise from the children when she came in to do the bare minimum! I would get so angry with this fictional woman! 

The last fifty pages were absolutely wild. There were so many surprises twists that I did not see coming! Sometimes when books have all of these twists at the end I’m like, yeah okay let’s speed this along, but with Flowers in the Attic I could not get enough. I was caught off guard but it didn’t feel like it was phony in any way. I was sitting in the living room reading and I gasped and was freaking out about the ending. 

My biggest complaint about the book would be the dialogue, specifically Chris. It was completely unrealistic for anyone to speak like that, even more so a seventeen year old boy. The children would talk in these elaborate metaphors and seem so worldly when Cathy says before that they lived a pretty sheltered life prior to the attic. Chris would say things to the twins like we shouldn’t quibble, as if they would know what that means?! Just say fight Christopher! At another part he is in a fight with his mother who had left them in an attic and says, “when you look and register do you see how healthy they have grown”. This is a direct quote that comes out of a child’s mouth. I understand that he was smart and read all of these books about medicine, but his dialogue specifically is what stuck out to me as unrealistic. Had VC Andrews ever met a 17 year old boy? Overall he just seemed like an unrealistic character. He kind of felt like he was there to be this convenient character that could fix almost every problem they came across. Cory and Carrie wanted a playground? Oh wow Chris comes in and saves the day because he knows exactly how to build one. . . in an attic. . . where they are living. Cathy is sick? Oh well Chris just read this book about childhood illnesses, they just have to make sure he gets plenty of fluids. Cory wants to keep this mouse that he found with its leg caught in a trap? That’s awesome because Chris can conveniently make a mouse sized splint for a little mouse leg. 

Overall, I really did enjoy my time reading this book. I have some theories about the rest of the series and am interested to see how the rest plays out. 

Would I recommend this book? Yes, but I would be sure to let someone know the content warnings. I would not recommend this book to someone in middle school or early high school. It was a lot. 

Will I keep reading the series? Definitely! 

#flowers in the attic #vc andrews #book reviews #adult books #books #dollanganger

[birdlord]

Every Book I Read in 2019

This was a heavier reading year for me (heavier culture-consumption year in general) partly because my partner started logging his books read, and then, of course, it’s a competition.

01 Morvern Callar; Alan Warner - One of the starkest books I’ve ever read. What is it about Scotland that breeds writers with such brutal, distant perspectives on life? Must be all the rocks. 

02 21 Things You Might Not Know About the Indian Act; Bob Joseph - I haven’t had much education in Canada’s relationship to the Indigenous nations that came before it, so this opened things up for me quite a bit. The first and most fundamental awakening is to the fact that this is not a story of progress from worse to better (which is what a simplistic, grade school understanding of smallpox blankets>residential schools>reserves would tell you), in fact, the nation to nation relationship of early contact was often superior to what we have today. I wish there was more of a call to action, but apparently a sequel is on its way. 

03 The Plot Against America; Philip Roth - An alternative history that in some ways mirrors our present. I did feel like I was always waiting for something to happen, but I suppose the point is that, even at the end of the world, disasters proceed incrementally. 

04 Sabrina; Nick Drnaso - The blank art style and lack of contrast in the colouring of each page really reinforces the feeling of impersonal vacancy between most of the characters. I wonder how this will read in the future, as it’s very much based in today’s relationship to friends and technology. 

05 Perfumes: The Guide; Luca Turn & Tania Sanchez - One of the things I like to do when I need to turn my brain off online is reading perfume reviews. That’s where I found out about this book, which runs through different scent families and reviews specific well-known perfumes. Every topic has its boffins, and these two are particularly witty and readable. 

06 Adventures in the Screen Trade; William Goldman - Reading this made me realize how little of the cinema of the 1970s I’ve actually seen, beyond the usual heavy hitters. Ultimately I found this pretty thin, a few peices of advice stitched together with anecdotes about a Hollywood that is barely recognizable today. 

07 The Age of Innocence; Edith Wharton - A love triangle in which the fulcrum is a terribly irritating person, someone who thinks himself far more outré than he is. Nonetheless, I was taken in by this story of “rebellion”, such as it was, to be compelling.

08 Boom Town: The Fantastical Saga of Oklahoma City, Its Chaotic Founding, Its Apocalyptic Weather, Its Purloined Basketball Team, and the Dream of Becoming a World-class Metropolis; Sam Anderson - Like a novel that follows various separate characters, this book switches between tales of the founding of Oklahoma City with basketball facts and encounters with various oddball city residents. It’s certainly a fun ride, but you may find, as I did, that some parts of the narrative interest you more than others. Longest subtitle ever?

09 World of Yesterday; Stefan Zweig - A memoir of pre-war Austria and its artistic communities, told by one of its best-known exports. Particularly wrenching with regards to the buildup to WWII, from the perspective of those who had been through this experience before, so recently. 

10 Teach us to Sit Still: A Sceptic’s Search for Health and Healing; Tim Parks - A writer finds himself plagued by pain that conventional doctors aren’t able to cure, so he heads further afield to see if he can use stillness-of-mind to ease the pain, all the while complaining as you would expect a sceptic to do. His digressions into literature were a bit hard to take (I’m sure you’re not Coleridge, my man).

11 The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences have Extraordinary Impact; Chip & Dan Heath - I read this for work-related reasons, with the intention of improving my ability to make exhibitions and interpretation. It has a certain sort of self-helpish structure, with anecdotes starting each chapter and a simple lesson drawn from each one. Not a bad read if you work in a public-facing capacity. 

12 Against Everything: Essays; Mark Greif - The founder of N+1 collects a disparate selection of essays, written over a period of several years. You won’t love them all, but hey, you can always skip those ones!

13 See What I Have Done; Sarah Schmidt - A retelling of the Lizzie Borden story, which I’d seen a lot of good reviews for. Sadly this didn’t measure up, for me. There’s a lot of stage setting (rotting food plays an important part) but there’s not a lot of substance there. 

14 Like a Mother: A Feminist Journey Through the Science and Culture of Pregnancy; Angela Garber - This is another one that came to me very highly recommended. Garber seems to think these topics are not as well-covered as they are, but she does a good job researching and retelling tales of pregnancy, birth, postpartum difficulties and breastfeeding. 

15 Rebecca; Daphne du Maurier - This was my favourite book club book of the year. I’d always had an impression of...trashiness I guess? around du Maurier, but this is a classic thriller. Maybe the first time I’ve ever read, rather than watched, a thriller! That’s on me. 

16 O’Keefe: The Life of an American Legend; Jeffrey Hogrefe - I went to New Mexico for the first time this spring, and a colleague lent me this Georgia O’Keefe biography after I returned. I hadn’t known much about her personal life before this, aside from what I learned at her museum in Santa Fe. The author has made the decision that much of O’Keefe’s life was determined by childhood incest, but doesn’t have what you might call….evidence?

17 A Lost Lady; Willa Cather - A turn-of-the-20th century story about an upper-class woman and her young admirer Neil. I’ve never read any other Cather, but this felt very similar to the Wharton I also read this year, which I gather isn’t typical of her. 

18 The Year of Living Danishly: My Twelve Months of Unearthing the Secrets of the World’s Happiest Country; Helen Russell - A British journalist moves to small-town Denmark with her husband, and although the distances are not long, there’s a considerable culture shock. Made me want to eat pastries in a BIG WAY. 

19 How Not to be a Boy; Robert Webb - The title gives a clue to the framing device of this book, which is fundamentally a celebrity memoir, albeit one that largely ignores the celebrity part of his life in favour of an examination of the effects of patriarchy on boys’ development as human beings. 

20 The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (And Your Children Will be Glad that You Did); Philippa Perry; A psychotherapist’s take on how parents’ own upbringing affects the way they interact with their own kids. 

21 The Library Book; Susan Orlean - This book has stuck with me more than I imagined that it would. It covers both the history of libraries in the USA, and the story of the arson of the LA Public Library’s central branch in 1986. 

22 We Are Never Meeting in Real Life; Samantha Irby - I’ve been reading Irby’s blog for years, and follow her on social media. So I knew the level of raunch and near body-horror to expect in this essay collection. This did fill in a lot of gaps in terms of her life, which added a lot more blackness (hey) to the humour. 

23 State of Wonder; Ann Patchett - A semi-riff on Heart of Darkness involving an OB/GYN who now works for a pharmaceutical company, heading to the jungle to retrieve another researcher who has gone all Colonel Kurtz on them. I found it a bit unsatisfying, but the descriptions were, admittedly, great. 

24 Disappearing Earth; Julia Phillips - A story of an abduction of two girls in very remote Russia, each chapter told by another townsperson. The connections between the narrators of each chapter are sometimes obvious, but not always. Ending a little tidy, but plays against expectations for a book like this. 

25 Ethan Frome; Edith Wharton - I gather this is a typical high school read, but I’d never got to it. In case you’re in the same boat as me, it’s a short, mildly melodramatic romantic tragedy set in the new england winter. It lacks the focus on class that other Whartons have, but certainly keeps the same strong sense that once you’ve made a choice, you’re stuck with it. FOREVER. 

26 Educated; Tara Westover - This memoir of a Mormon fundamentalist-turned-Academic-superstar was huge on everyone’s reading lists a couple of years back, and I finally got to it. It felt similar to me in some ways to the Glass Castle, in terms of the nearly-unbelievable amounts of hell she and her family go through at the hands of her father and his Big Ideas. I found that it lacked real contemplation of the culture shock of moving from the rural mountain west to, say, Cambridge. 

27 Dead Wake: The Last Crossing of Lusitania; Erik Larson - I’m a sucker for a story of a passenger liner, any non-Titanic passenger liner, really. Plus Lusitania’s story has interesting resonances for the US entry into WWI, and we see the perspective of the U-boat captain as well as people on land, and Lusitania’s own passengers and crew. 

28 The Birds and Other Stories; Daphne du Maurier - The title story is the one that stuck in my head most strongly, which isn’t any surprise. I found it much more harrowing than the film, it had a really effective sense of gradually increasing dread and inevitability. 

29 Someone Who Will Love You in All Your Faded Glory; Raphael Bob-Waksberg - Hit or miss in the usual way of short story collections, this book has a real debt to George Saunders. 

30 Sex & Rage; Eve Babitz - a sort of pseudo-autobiography of an indolent life in the LA scene of the 1970s. It was sometimes very difficult to see how the protagonist actually felt about anything, which is a frequent, acute symptom of youth. 

31 Doctor Fischer of Geneva or The Bomb Party; Graham Greene - Gotta love a book with an alternate title built in. This is a broad (the characters? are, without exception, insane?!) satire about a world I know little about. I don’t have a lot of patience or interest in Greene’s religious allegories, but it’s a fine enough story. 

32 Lathe of Heaven; Ursula K LeGuin - Near-future sci-fi that is incredibly prescient about the effects of climate change for a book written over forty years ago. The book has amazing world-building, and the first half has the whirlwind feel of Homer going back in time, killing butterflies and returning to the present to see what changes he has wrought. 

33 The Grammarians; Cathleen Schine - Rarely have I read a book whose jacket description of the plot seems so very distant from what actually happens therein. 

34 The Boy Kings: A Journey Into the Heart of the Social Network; Katharine Losse - Losse was one of Facebook’s very earliest employees, and she charts her experience with the company in this memoir from 2012. Do you even recall what Facebook was like in 2012? They hadn’t even altered the results of elections yet! Zuck was a mere MULTI-MILLIONAIRE, probably. Were we ever so young?

35 Invisible Women; Caroline Ciado Perez - If you want to read a book that will make you angry, so angry that you repeatedly assail whoever is around with facts taken from it, then this, my friend, is the book for you. 

36 The Hidden World of the Fox; Adele Brand - A really charming look at the fox from an ecologist who has studied them around the world. Much of it takes place in the UK, where urban foxes take on a similar ecological niche that raccoons famously do where I live, in Toronto. 

37 S; Doug Dorst & JJ Abrams - This is a real mindfuck of a book, consisting of a faux-old novel, with marginalia added by two students which follows its own narrative. A difficult read not because of the density of prose, but the sheer logistics involved: read the page, then the marginalia? Read the marginalia interspersed with the novel text? Go back chapter by chapter? I’m not sure that either story was worth the trouble, in the end. 

38 American War; Omar El Akkad - This is not exclusively, but partially a climate-based speculative novel, or, grossly, cli-fi for short. Ugh, what a term! But this book is a really tight, and realistic look at the results of a fossil-fuels-based second US Civil War. 

39 Antisocial: Online Extremists, Techno-Utopians, and the Hijacking of the American Conversation; Andrew Marantz - This is the guy you’ll hear on every NPR story talking about his semi-embedding within the Extremely Online alt-right. Most of the figures he profiles come off basically how you’d expect, I found his conclusions about the ways these groups have chosen to use online media tools to achieve their ends the most illuminating part. 

40 Wilding: The Return of Nature to a British Farm; Isabella Tree - This is the story of a long process of transitioning a rural acreage (more of an estate than a farm, this is aristocratic shit) from intensive agriculture to something closer to wild land. There are long passages where Tree (ahem) simply lists species which have come back, which I’m sure is fascinating if you are from the area, but I tended to glaze over a bit. Experts from around the UK and other European nations weigh in on how best to rewild the space, which places the project in a wider context. 

FICTON: 17     NONFICTION: 23

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 288

So between Episodes 287 and 289, you’ve got this ten year gap, spanning the wish to erase the world’s memories of Buu, to the first appearance of Uub, which marks the epilogue to Dragon Ball Z.     Over the years, there’s been a lot of material created to fill in that “ten year gap.”  The last ten minutes of Episode 287, this episode, Movies 13, 14, and 15, all 131 episodes of Dragon Ball Super and the Dragon Ball Super: Broly movie.  Uh, what else?   That Yo! Son Goku and his Friends Return special.   There was some crossover special with One-Piece and another anime I forget the name of.  Also, both of the Xenoverse games, while set in the future, feature Goku pulled from this general time period.

I can’t blame people for trying to fill in this period with new stories.  The question is whether there’s really a story worth telling at this point.  I like Movies 13 and 14. Movie 15 was okay, but hardly worth the trouble, and Dragon Ball Super didn’t get good until the Tournament of Power, which I wouldn’t call essential viewing.    The action was good, but the story doesn’t hold a candle to classic Dragon Ball and DBZ.

In a lot of ways, Episode 288 is sort of a prototype for a lot of what Dragon Ball Super ended up doing: these slice of life, quiet moments in between the big adventures.  This is mainly because Super had a really hard time cooking up an antagonist worthy of the franchise.   Beerus and Golden Frieza were borrowed from movies, Champa, Hit, and Jiren weren’t really bad guys, and Zamasu was absolutely fucking awful.  When I watched Super, it was honestly a relief to see that the next episode would be the gang screwing around at a basebal field or a movie set or whatever.   At the same time, it was always frustrating to me.   They went out of their way to bring these characters back, and they never seemed to have a plan for what they wanted to do with them.  I’ll watch the Tenchi Muyo! gang hang out in a mall or something, that sounds like a good time.   But Goku?   I expect a little more from him.

In this episode, everyone’s having a party at Bulma’s place, but Goku went off to watch some pterodactyl eggs hatch.   So it’s pretty similar to a number of one-shot DBS episodes, except DBZ hasn’t done this sort of thing very often, so it’s a lot more effective.  

Here’s the problem: One of the four eggs fell out of the nest and is stuck in this precarious-looking branch.    Goku wants to move it back, but the parents won’t let him, and I guess he’s not eager to force the issue with his powers.   He’s worried that the baby will fall once it hatches, so he sticks around to keep an eye on the situation.

Anyway, Chi-Chi got all dolled up for this pary, so she’s decided to just go without Goku’s broke-ass and leave him to his nature hike or whatever.    There needs to be more fan-art of Chi-Chi in this getup.  

If I’m not mistaken, Goten’s outfit in this episode is a callback to the clothes Goku wore in that one episode of the Fortuneteller Baba Saga.   Let me just pull that up...

Eh... close, but not quite.   Goten’s got the tie and the hat, but he’s wearing suspenders instead of a vest. 

Anyway, everyone arrives at Capsule Corp.   Yamcha’s got a new car Bulma had made for him at a discount, and Krillin’s thinking of asking for one of his own.    The Son family shows up and Chi-Chi gets miffed when anyone asks about Goku.   Chi-Chi says he’s waiting for his eggs to hatch.

Anyway, they’ve got a nice spread here.    This looks like the place where all of Dr. Brief’s animals run around, but that seems like a bad place to hold a party, so maybe they have more than one indoor park.  

Anyway, Tien and Krillin have some pizza, and Master Roshi laughs at a “photo album” (it’s porn).

Buu wants Vegeta’s hot dog, and he’s in a good mood so he gives it to him.   I always liked that.  It shows that they managed to get along at some point.     This is the sort of thing Dragon Ball Super should have done.   Buu never got a chance to interact with most of these guys in Z, and they killed him off in GT, so they could have gotten some mileage out of him in Super, but they didn’t.

Chiaotzu drinks exactly half of one soda and leaves.  

Piccolo’s just chillin’ out in a flower bed.    Character arc, complete.

Oh, you thought this was the smug Goku macro?   Tell me again how you didn’t know it was from this scene where Goku reminisces about his grandfather.

I guess the place where his space pod crashed wasn’t too far from this pterodactyl nest.   I’m surrprised the crater grew over so fast.    Also, this is like the third or fourth time they’ve shown this location in Z, and it never looks the same twice.

Anyway, Grandpa Gohan was strict but also very kind, and I always like how Goku remembers him here, as the series is drawing to a close.  

Then a DINOSAUR FIGHT happens, because this show rules! Not sure why the two-legged dinosaur has hippo ears, but okay.   It’s like Toei thought the rights holders for actual dinosaurs would sue them or something.   

This scene also features the Ginyu Force song from the early portion of DBZ.   You know the one.

Thirty-two seconds into this video.    They ran this song into the ground in the Namek Saga, and then slowly weaned themselves off of it in the Frieza Saga, until eventually it fell out of rotation.   I think it got used a couple of times in the Androids/Cell arc, and this might be the first time it’s been used since then.   And you know, it’s a great song when it’s used sparingly.   Once I got used to expecting it in every episode, it got really grating, but here, it works perfectly.    I found myself sort of missing it.   

Anyway, Goku totally in favor of cool dinosaur fights, but he doesn’t want them near this nest, so he carries these rowdy boys to another spot and tells them to fight there.  

But that sort of kills the whole mood, you know?

Never mind that, because it’s TIME TO DANCE.

In the Japanese version, the score uses the rock music Tank Clerk was jamming to in Fusion Reborn.   I guess this is the only rock music in all of Dragon Ball, sort of like how Cold Slither’s music is the only rock music in G.I. Joe or Transformers.

We’re tired of words!   We’ve heard it before!

We’re not gonna play the game no more!

We’re Cold Slither, heavy metal  machine!

Through the eyes of a lizard in you will dream!

When the venom stings, a new order brings our control!

Anyway Chi-Chi rules the disco floor until she throws out her back.   

Then Dende mentions Goku and it brings down the mood.   This is why no one invites you to these things, Dende.  Even Tien thinks you’re a buzzkill and he just spent the last half hour explaining the Haber-Bosch process.   

Bulma is worried about Goku, but Chi-Chi playfully suggests that Bulma is sweet on him, but that’s just too bad, because Chi-Chi’s too pretty for her to steal him away.    Is she drunk?   Maybe, but this is still less awkward than the dub version, where she suggested they trade husbands.   “No, I was only kidding about swinging, Bulma.... UNLESS...”

Back at where Goku is, all these other animals show up to watch the nest, because I guess animals do that in this show.  

Then it rains, and Goku shores up the nest with a bunch of logs.  Not sure how this improves the situation, but okay.

He tries to work on the branch the fourth egg is sitting in, but it falls into the river first.

Goku saves it, but then a fish tries to eat him.

But the egg is okay, so victory for Goku.

Kind of an ominous shot of Capsule Corp.   Looks like something out of Revenge of the Sith.

Everyone’s playing cards, and that looks like a lot of fun.    Well, not if I have to play with Roshi and Oolong.    Take me to the non-sex-offender table, please.

Krillin and his family prepare to head out, but they walk out the door just as Goku shows up.

This part here is great.

Chi-Chi gives him a hard time, but she can’t be too mad, because he does this sort of crap all the time.

So she takes Goku back to where the food is, and Goku gives Gohan the wink like “Yep, life of Riley.”

I almost wonder if they tried to do some sort of Last Supper thing with this, except they couldn’t fit everyone into the shot on a 4:3 TV.    Anyway, Goku explains how things turned out with the pterodactyls.

They all hatched.   Don’t really know what else to add to that.  Weird how some of these animals watching were causing trouble earlier.   That snake tried to eat the eggs until Goku tosses it away.

Goten asks if he was cuter than the pterodactyls when he was born, and Goku explains that he was dead when Goten was born, so he doesn’t know.   Awkward.

Then he invites Vegeta to come over and join them, because he’s sulking over by the window.   

i think Vegeta’s just enjoying this vaporwave sunset outside, but okay,

Then the narrator observes that everyone just has more fun when Goku’s around, which, true, but this is the sort of lionizing of Goku that made GT really irritating.  

Then the Looney Tunes thing happens to him and that’s all, folks.  

#dragon ball #2019dbliveblog #kid buu saga #chi chi #goku #vegeta #gohan #trunks #goten #mr satan #videl #yamcha #tien #chiaotzu #master roshi #dende #krillin #android 18 #marron #oolong #grandpa gohan #turtle

[madscientistjournal]

An Interview with Madison Estes

Today, we’re chatting with Madison Estes, who will have a story in the final quarterly for MSJ!

DV: Tell us a bit about yourself! Madison Estes: I’m a horror addict who comes from a family of horror fans. My dad and I went to Las Vegas this year so we could do the Saw Escape Room, which was one of the coolest and most intense experiences of my life. Several of the rooms are duplicates of traps from the movies, and they got Tobin Bell to do narration in each room. My mother and I went to Texas Frightmare several years ago and we got to meet some of the Saw stars, plus Robert England, Sid Haag, and Sean Patrick Flannery. With two parents who are horror fans, I had a lot of horror influences growing up. I remember the crypt keeper from Tales from the Crypt used to scare me, but when I got a little older I’d watch reruns of it whenever I could, in addition to The Twilight Zone and The Outer Limits. Like most contemporary horror writers, I read a lot of Stephen King when I was growing up, starting with The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, which is still one of my favorites. I also read On Writing sometime in the fifth grade. It helped me connect with literature in a way that I hadn’t before, and I believe it shaped me into the writer that I am today.

I live in southeast Texas and I have three dogs, two black and white Chihuahuas, a boy and a girl (Leo and Mayhem), and a Shih Tzu named Mika. When I’m not writing, I’m usually snuggling with them and reading or watching movies. In addition to my obsession with horror, I’m a huge nerd for Harry Potter, Star Wars, Marvel, DC and some of the old school anime shows like Yu Yu Hakusho.

DV: You’ve got a story coming out in February in Strange Girls: Women in Horror Anthology that sounds like it will be of interest to our readers. What can you share about your story without giving too much away?

ME: My story “Revival” is about a medical student who believes the cadaver he was assigned to dissect is coming back to life. He’s grieving the loss of his sister and suffering from nightmares and sleep deprivation, so he’s not mentally stable. He doesn’t trust his own judgement, but since he couldn’t save his sister, he’ll stop at nothing to save this girl if she really can be saved.

DV: You’re also working on a horror writing guidebook with other authors. Tell us more about this project.

ME: I’m working with five other writers on The Complete Guide to Writing Horror Vol. 1, commissioned by Dragon Moon Press. I’m in charge of five chapters, which cover topics such as horror subgenres, horror basics, the history of horror, business etiquette, and market resources. At the moment, I’m still working on subgenres. I’m designing this chapter to help writers learn how to categorize their own writing, and to give them an idea of what is out there so they can find their niche or niches within the horror genre.

In the basics chapter, I’m covering character struggles, decisions, consequences, and other related topics. One subject of special interest to me is character agency. I feel that in horror stories, character agency is often lacking. It’s tempting to write a passive, reactive character in a genre where the villain is often the star, but characters should have some control over their lives, or at least the appearance of control, even if by the end of the story you’re going to pull the rug from under the reader and reveal the characters had little to no chance at all. Think about the movies In the Mouth of Madness, Knowing, or Cabin in the Woods. The main characters in these stories are active. They fight back, but more than that, they ask questions and investigate. Even if they fail, they make efforts to take control of their lives. It makes stronger characters and a more entertaining story than a character that only runs from the maniac with the knife.

In the business etiquette chapter, I cover topics such as communication and conflict management with editors, and how to write cover letters, query letters, author bios, and more. Market resources covers topics such as networking opportunities, horror writing conventions, critique groups, where to find submission calls, and a list of active horror publishers. I haven’t started writing the history chapter yet (please don’t tell my editor!), but I plan to cover the origin of horror and the movements that have shaped the genre, such as the invention of film, video games, and the internet, as well as how certain authors like Stephen King forever changed horror.

I’ve very excited about this project. I can’t wait to share my knowledge and help aspiring horror writers. It takes me back to being in fifth grade with On Writing and the way that book filled me with excitement for writing. I hope to not only help writers elevate their craft, but to inspire that feeling within them as well.

DV: What’s the coolest thing about being an author?

ME: When I go on Amazon and read a review from someone who enjoyed my story, or when a book blogger reviews an anthology I’m in and singles out my story as one of their favorites, it gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling. It makes all the hours of writing and revising worth it.

DV: What’s on the horizon for you?

I just had a short story called “Crossroads” featured in Horror USA: California (Soteira Press) about an actor who goes through a midlife crisis when his girlfriend gets pregnant. His mental stability and fears of fatherhood are worsened by his Porsche, a haunted car that carries a terrible secret. I recently published my first paranormal romance/erotica story in The Devil’s Doorbell (HellBound Books) called “Visions of Blood”. A psychic has visions whenever he touches people or certain objects, but it comes with a side-effect of searing pain. A beautiful vampire convinces him to use his ability to help her track down the vampire who murdered her friend. Sexual tension leads to some very creative sex scenes between them despite the character’s disability.

My short story “Servant of Death” is going to appear in the last issue of Mad Scientist Journal. It’s about a child dying from cancer who is stalked by a shadow creature that he perceives to be Death. After he escapes the grim reaper’s clutches, his cancer goes away, but when he grows up, he finds out that remission came with a price.

I have a short story coming out next year in a time-themed anthology by Transmundane Press. My story is called, “The Time Loop Loophole”. It’s a horror comedy about a guy trapped in a time loop who thinks the only way to escape may be to kill his best friend. The premise sounds really dark, but the story is mostly humorous. The main character is kind of a self-described loser. At the beginning of the story, his biggest regret about being in the time loop is not being able to finish his video games or see the ending of Game of Thrones (a blessing in disguise according to most fans, not that he could know that). He’s not even that bothered by the time loop until the girl he has a crush on starts showing interest in him. Secrets come out, and everything gets complicated as he starts to wonder just what he’s willing to do to be with the girl of his dreams.

Thanks, Madison!

An Interview with Madison Estes was originally published on Mad Scientist Journal

#Interview #Madison Estes

[fae-fucker]

Zenith: Chapter 33-36

Chapter 33

So we’re back in Andi’s POV, finally. She’s woken up by Dex who is all worried and Andi vomits in his lap and then thinks about how sexy he is. Mind you, they are in a ship filled with corpses and there’s an unconscious and busted Valen near them who’s probably dying slowly, plus the vomit.

But I guess that just turns Andi on more? Discuss.

They find Valen barely alive among the corpses and Dex is surprised he’s not dead.

Hey bud. Didn’t you throw the guy down a flight of stairs a few chapters ago? I don’t think you’re in any position to make glib remarks, my guy.

Andi takes out the pilot with a shoelace, which, alright, and Dex says something about how she’s still afraid to fly a ship because she asks him to do it. Wow, an actual symptom of PTSD? In my Zenith? What a time to be alive. 

The chapter ends with Andi angsting about how she’s had to murder another person. Except she didn’t have to do that. She could’ve just knocked the pilot out and locked them in the storage with the other corpses to get rescued later. The pilot didn’t know there were live people on board so they wouldn’t know who attacked them anyway. I mean yeah they’d probably sustain brain damage but they wouldn’t be dead.

Methinks Andi really likes murder and justifies it to herself by saying it’s a necessity. 

Chapter 34

We’re in Dex’s POV and he’s complaining about how everything smells like trash on the Marauder now that Alfie took the door off the trash shoot. 

Hey. Hey why don’t you just ... blast it out? Like. Just shoot the trash out. Why do you store it on the ship that gets lighter and faster when you spend ammo? You’re in space. Just blast that shit. Or convert it into biofuel. Apparently it smells of “unmentionable” things so that makes me wonder if they store their actual shit in there as well? What the fuck is in their trash department that it smells so bad? If they can’t blast out the trash (which makes no sense), why didn’t they get rid of it when they were getting repairs before the mission? Why didn’t they get rid of it during the numerous times they’ve landed? Why the fuck does this ship have a dedicated trash department anyway? 

The little fire-haired gunner had wanted to know if the blood on Andi belonged to her or some “now-ball-less bastard,” to which the giantess had responded, Of course it’s not hers, Gil. And don’t say bastard. Say prick.

Comedy. 

Dex is being patched up by Alfie (who is described as “fawning” over his wounds, which doesn’t sound right), and thinks about how he’s gonna drink himself into oblivion later. Alcoholism? Love it. I bet Shinsay will know exactly how to handle this, with how many references their super cool and mature characters make to getting absolutely shitfaced.

Dex sulks himself out of the “med bay” (Why don’t these idiots have medical staff? For the same reason they don’t have mechanics I suppose.) to go and update General Cortas on their progress. 

The general is all grumpy and shit and reminds Dex that he’s in charge and can fuck him up good if anything happens to Valen, and tells him to keep Andi away from him. Because he thinks Andi will ... kill Valen too? I guess he thinks Andi is addicted to murdering his kids or smth. 

Anyway, Dex gets all mopey because the big scary man said some mean things but then he hears classical music and enters Andi’s room. It’s time for some bullshit, lads. 

Chapter 35

So finally we get the scene where Andi “dances” with the dead, which turns out to actually just happen in her head while she spaces out and cries. She imagines herself on a stage with an audience of ghosts of all the people she’s killed, and they come up and dance with her one by one and she “memorizes” their features. I’m not sure how she does that because the narration during action scenes keeps emphasizing how quick and cool she is so I have no idea how she can “memorize” the features of someone she’s probably only looked at for a couple of seconds at most. Also, I dunno why she’s memorizing something she clearly already remembers. I know it’s a nitpick but it’s just bad, y’all.

If this is supposed to be atonement ... God I hope it’s not. It’s honestly written like it makes Andi some sort of pure angel who just Does What She Has To, instead of just being a coping mechanism. Behold:

Tears streaked down Andi’s cheeks, pulling her from the vision she’d created so clearly in her mind. The music grew louder, silencing her tears. She closed her eyes and forced herself back into her mind. She owed this to the dead. This pain, this dance, this time where she gave herself fully to their memory.

Anyway, the last ghost is Kalee of course, and I’m not entirely sure how many people Andi’s killed if every single dance is as detailed and long as the ones with latest ghosts (the descriptions are quite lengthy so I assume it’s a couple of minutes or so), but it looks like Kalee’s ghost has to sit there and wait a while lmao. Even in death this brat can’t catch a break.

Sorry, I know I’m laughing at trauma here, but it’s not real trauma, it’s badly written melodramatic trauma. Like, I just don’t see someone who genuinely doesn’t like to murder people keep “crossing that line” (yes, apparently whenever Andi does a murder, she “crosses a line” she’s set for herself, wowza) and all they do for atonement is keeping a mental list and queue of all the fake made-up ghosts she needs to dance with. Like. I get that people cope differently but this is less of a coping mechanism and more Shinsay crossing shit off a list to make Andi more palatable.

I just don’t believe it. Not after I’ve seen how proud she is of being the Bloody Baroness and how Glorious it feels to Do A Murder.

Also, this chapter is rife with weird fucking grammar and writing in general. Some examples: 

[Kalee] was dressed in a shimmering blue gown that swirled around her ankles like fragments of cloud.

“Fragments of cloud”????

The transport creaked. Groaned, as the fire licked closer and closer.

Why did you. Break, the sentence up like that. 

The chapter ends with Dex giving Andi some time to pause her PTXD so they can have the talk she promised him. Which is nice of him, I guess. Despite being obnoxious and a dweeb, Dex manages to be better than every SJM love interest ever? Wow.

Oh but don’t you worry, it lasts uuuh until just now.

Chapter 36

Andi thinks about how sexie Dex is now that he’s washed the blood and vomit off and changed some clothes. Which ... there’s no mention of him doing since he returned from the corpse hauling ship ... The last chapter from his POV had him arriving at the Marauder and having his wounds checked, after which he instantly went to call General Cortas, and then he went directly to Andi. 

I guess he’s got time travel powers? Or are we supposed to believe he showered before being brought into the med bay?

Whatever. 

Dex says that Andi doesn’t know the “full story” behind the reason he turned her over to the Patrolmen, and Andi responds with:

“I loved you, and you threw me away like some common whore!”

But god forbid we actually say the word “sex” or stop being immature little shits every moment we make a dirty reference, amirite guys? Calling women whores and sluts is a-ok but if you even TRY to discuss sexuality in a mature and relaxed way you WILL get eaten by the mommy police.

Dex is like “pwease wissen to me :C” and she’s like “fucking dammit he’s just so hot not to listen to”:

She wanted him to hurt. To feel the soul-deep pain, just as she did. Physical wounds would heal, but the internal scars never would.

SOUL-DEEP PAIN. 

Not sure Andi has a soul but go off.

“You were my whole world. You showed me that I could still be loved. When everyone else—an entire planet full of people—hated me so much they wished me dead, even my own parents...I found you. I started to live again. I started to trust. Then I lost you, too, just like all the others. You turned away, just like they did.”

Thanks for mapping out the exact reasons for your angst, Andi. It’s not like we’re clever enough to know you have trust- and/or abandonment issues.

More like Angstdi amirite?

Dex gets all defensive and instead of giving her the real reason for his betrayal, he starts mouthing off and justifying himself.

“I turned you in because you were running from the law! You lied to me about your past, Andi. I did nothing that wasn’t expected of me! My duty as a Guardian was to the welfare of the galaxy, not to some runaway Spectre who’d failed her entire planet! You made the choice to fly that transport ship. It was your hands that crashed it. Your failure that killed Kalee! You ran, Androma.” 

H-hey bud? This is, as far as you know, your only chance to justify yourself. Maybe calm your tits and tell her what you’ve been keeping secret instead of confirming her beliefs about you? Since you were so desperate to talk to her?

No? Ok. For someone who displays some amount of emotional maturity (good god I can’t believe I just said that about fiking Dex Dogtective), you sure do get fired up easily, huh. Must be all that will-they-won’t-they tension.

They circled each other like predators, blood boiling, bodies shaking with rage as the stars looked on.

I can promise you the stars have better things to do than to give a shit about this petty squabble, Shinsay.

“Did you ever think about my side in all of this, Androma?” Dex’s voice cracked suddenly as he ran his fingers through his dark hair. “You may think you know the whole story, but you are so consumed by hate that you only see yourself.”

SO MAYBE STOP JUSTIFYING YOUR ACTIONS AND ACTUALLY TELL HER WHY YOU DID IT IF IT’S SO FUCKING IMPORTANT FOR HER TO KNOW?!

But no, we can’t have that yet. He follows it up with this:

“Your side of the story doesn’t matter. You sunk a knife into my chest. You stole my ship and left me to die.”

BECAUSE YOU TURNED HER OVER TO THE PEOPLE WHO WOULD MURDER HER. 

CAN YOU MAYBE NOT?! 

HOLY SHIT DEX DOGTECTIVE YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING MORON, AREN’T YOU? 

No wonder she fuckin stabbed you. I would’ve stabbed you multiple times and made sure you were actually dead before leaving your sorry ass.

Anyway, they stare at each other and Dex is all “uwu ur the only woman I ever loved” and we all know that doesn’t mean bi!Dex because Shinsay can’t think of a their manly man getting dicked down by another man, nu-uh.

Then we finally get the reason Dex did it. You see ...

They had his dad. And threatened to kill him if he didn’t turn Andi in.

Yeah. That old chestnut. It does unfortunately open up all of the plot holes. Like for example, if they knew where Dex was, why didn’t they just ... find him and thus find Andi? They knew she was with him. He was a Guardian at that point, surely they know where their men are stationed? Apparently he’d known Andi for a year when he turned her in, and he hadn’t realized who she was until the general’s men approached him. So ... how did the Patrolmen realize he was with Andi if even he didn’t know it? Or did they just threaten a family member of every Guardian on the off-chance that one of them knew Andi and would give her up to save them?

Maybe there’s something I’m missing, but this smacks of contrivance for the sake of conflict. 

Anyway, apparently Dex had tried to give Andi a head start the morning before he turned her in. By giving her a vaguely worded warning that she didn’t get. 

What a peach. 

They bribed Dex on top of threatening his father, which is like, beating him with the carrot stick, and I don’t understand it at all. But Dex feels very terrible about what he did to teh womaine he wuvs :c and apparently tried to plead with them that she was young and made a mistake. 

“Andi,” Dex whispered. “Please. Look at me. Tell me we can move past this. We both made mistakes. We both made our choices, and we’ve had to live with them.”

Seems a little manipulative there, Dexyboy. I’m getting a lot of mixed messages, but the loudest one seems to be “you did a bad and I did a smaller bad that’s justified and I feel kinda bad but also you’re also at fault and can we bone again please” and I’m not into it, Dexyboy. 

You wanted her to get away, to give her a head start. You agree that she’s innocent and she made a mistake when she was a child. Yet you blame her for stabbing you and fleeing from certain death? Ok. 

I mean, I get it, getting stabbed probably ain’t so fun, especially when it’s the womaine you lurv :c, and sure maybe it hurts both physically and emotionally to have her turn on you so fast and without hesitation ... BUT YOU DID PROVOKE IT BY TURNING HER OVER TO PEOPLE WHO WOULD DEFO 100% MURDER HER ASS. If you love her so much, can’t you extend just a bit of sympathy for her actions? Since you are the reason she did those things in the first place? Fucking dumbass.

Also, why the fuck have you been acting like a huge cocky asshole this whole time since you reunited? For kicks?

I get Shinsay wanted a sexie snarky love interest just like SJMommy but they’ve done it at the cost of consistent characterization.

Andi says that there’s no getting back to how it was and tells Dex to leave so she can cry and carve more tallies into her swords.

It’s very deep, y’all.

#eff reads: zenith

[real-mace]

Leon’s Promise of Inifinty

A summary

Leon is destined to become king according to Heavens Rift🤴

It’s pretty much made official that Leon and MC are SCM OTP😒 (even tho we all thought it was Huedhaut). Leon and MC

The last Heavens rift, when the goddess of fate Clotho and Hue we’re together, is really what caused the earth and humans to go bad and forced the goddess of fate Clotho to die to become present day MC, as she needed to teach Leon love and form him into a king.

So it’s like the heavens rift knew Hue loved her enough to take one of his eyes out, which needed to happen so she could become a human and love Leon. Lol wtf voltage..cruel

Once again Huedhaut truly has the most tragic backstory in voltage history

Heavens rift DOESNT GIVE ONE FUCK THO, Leon needs to become King. The catch is...as a king Leon has to love all gods and humans the same way. This was conflict #1.

The old blonde king tells them they can never be married and now they have to break up. Or the universe will be destroyed....ya know.. the same shit

Leon then proceeds to run the fuck away with MC and they have a bunch of sex. He even gets to meet her parents, it’s all very sweet. I guess his eyes also look different ever since the rift started and now he has new King eyes that are beginning to cover his god of Leo mark.

Annnnnddd, unfortunately all the other 11 gods (including Leon’s boyfriend Karno) are now zombies under the blonde Kings Control. The MC can’t leave her apartment. She needs to protect herself

In this scene Leon, makes MC a GOD KILLING KNIFE?!!?!? Omg I woNDEr WHat wILL HapPeNn???

OF FUCKING COURSE The MC goes all exorcist and gets possessed by the King (with the long blond hair) and turns the knife on Leon after a night of passion. **it was kind of funny because she had really bad aim and Leon was making fun of her cause she missed so bad, even though she was trying to fight it.**

In this story, shit gets crazy a total of 100 times, this is one of them

So the MC just.. turns the knife on herself..? Leon is screaming and crying and even the King came out of oblivion and was like “how’d you break my spell?” And Leon and the King got into an arguement

All while this is happening, the MC litterally is narrating the blood splurtting out of her stomach and on to the floor. She dies while Leon and the King are arguing

Sooo the MC. Is dead 💀. She ends up in a very aesthetically pleasing heaven where she is joined by Leon, cuz he’s really powerful atm and Leon decides to pull a FUCKING HUEDHAUT MOVE AND RIP OUT HIS EYE TO GIVE MC ANOTHER SHOT AT HUMAN LIFE.

This is when stuff starts getting so ridiculous and crazy

So the famed CG of SCM popped up into the game and is actually showing when Leon is placing his old Leo eye into MC. It was pretty cute I got to admit. So every time you open the story in Love 365, you’ll remember he is the true OTP 😣

I seriously thought the story would end right then and there, the entire route basically destroyed any hope that Hue was the true OTP. Not only was his love in vain, but he lost his eye for nothing CAUSE LEON REPLACED IT ANYWAYS. Hue is a pawn. It was a plot twist but it made all the Huedhaut fans cry cuz WTFF

B/c Leon is a more powerful God I guess that meant the MC was able to resume back into her adult life and ended up in the hosiptal with no memory.

(once again, poor Huedhaut😪 gave his eye and yet MC was born centuries later, I guess his eye wasn’t good enough..?)

She was surrounded by her family. The real explanation made no sense that’s why I said it got really crazy. It’s like one after the other.

Anyways, she lost her memory?!?! I’ve neVEr sEEn a pLoT TWisT liKe tHiS BefoRE? (More stupid plot)

So this bad bitch returns home after litterally stabbing herself, dying and coming back to life . Allegedly, it’s been some time but not that long and she makes a wish just for something good to happen just for shits and giggles. She litterally had no reason to she just felt like it. 🤨

Wait!! I’ve seen this before

Those familiar with Parthenos Proposal Story, the MC becomes preggo, and it was the same god (Zyglavis) who said something like this...suspicious 🤨

They go to heaven to see Leon

Leon also apparently lost his memory

They don’t remember each other

Leon is about to become King and MC just suddenly remembered everything without realizing it

MC starts screaming at Leon bc he said he didn’t want to be king

And suddenly Leon remembers her too without realizing it

So he screams at her for stabbing herself

🤔🤔🤔

*me rewinding through the dialogue cause at this point I was totally fucking lost, I thought I missed something, when did they remember eachother*

This is where the writing got really confusing, they both didn’t remember eachother and they just kind of did again. It’s like the memory loss didn’t happen 🤯

So they continued where they left off, and we are back to dealing with dying...possibly.again

The old king comes back and all the gods are like 😬 now that they aren’t zombies anymore, the king preaches that everyone living in heaven and on earth will die because they are defying heavens rift and the entire plan.

Leon clearly doesn’t give a fuck, and says their love is strong enough and they’ll survive. The old king is like “...”

It is also revealed that MC is pREgnAnT?!? (at this point in the story I was like...😐 what else could they seriously throw in I’m litterally done with this entire plot, everything else went down lets make her pregnant while we’re at it)

It was pretty dumb, MC puked once like 2 seconds before all the gods found her and everyone already knew she was knocked up.

So the sky visually splits into two and Leon and the MC end up in the white space after the heavens rift. The old king comes (this guy litterally comes out of nowhere) and says everything surprisingly worked out and Leon is now the king. The blonde king then precededs to die, as well as any hope of his own route... it lasted a mere 10 dialogue clicks.

They’re transported back to everyone else. The mc notices that Leon’s eyes display the king eye mark side by side with his Leo mark. So I guess that’s a good thing?

Then shit gets unfair, but let’s recap!

Leon’s route

confirmed he was the official OTP

Has one of his own CGs as the title of the game to remind everyone

Totally trashed all of Hues side story’s and main story (refer to previous post)

Used the success of the pregnancy plot from parthenos route. You could also argue Scorpio too, with the way the death scene went.

Shows that Leon was interested in her in her past life as a goddess, which is absolutely soul crushing to find out for Huedhaut fans who have read his “If you were a goddess”

He fricken becomes king of the heavens

Everyone else technically gets proposed to in the infinity stories BUT LEON GETS THE ENTIRE FRICKEN PACKAGE WITH THE WEDDING AND EVERYTHING AND SHES PREGANT AND THEY ARE THE ONE.TRUE. PAIRING.

She didn’t become a goddess tho she’s still human. She’ll die eventually.

The end.

As a side note I also have come to the conclusion that you could argue that Leon and the MC aren’t technically the One True pairing...

in other words Leon just happened to fall in love with MC and she would have as well in Leon’s story stream

the king said they only needed the MC to shape Leon into a King, he just needed a little more self control

If you observe Leon from other routes, he isn’t as reckless as he acts in his own route.

Soooo

EVERYTHING MIGHT BE ALRIGHT HUE FANS CAUSE LEON EASILY LEARNS HIS KINGS TRAITS FROM MC SIMPLY EXISTING AS A FRIEND/ACQUAINTANCE

Even when Hue and MC have their drama in Huedhauts route, Leon usually has something to say about it.

I think when Leon witnesses acts of love with MC and whatever 11 other gods commit (ex. Hue wanting to sacrifice himself for present MC again) I think he would take in this act of love and it somehow impacted him to be a better king.

REMEMBER: the king never that Leon and MC had to be lovers for this to happen.

CONCLUSION: I think now you can still enjoy all of the 11 other gods main story streams because you can be rest assured that Leon is being inspired by the acts of love you commit with what ever god you love, which shapes him into his king role. And your playing as the fricken goddess of fate, so MC can change her fate at any given time.

#star crossed myth #kbtbb #voltage inc #otome #voltage otome #voltage fan base #scm #eisuke ichinomiya #kissed by the baddest bidder #irresistible mistakes #leon

[mtvswatches]

Jane the Virgin 1x19 Chapter Nineteen

Spoilers disclaimer (please read before sending messages or writing comments.)

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) Are they bringing up that cringy flower metaphor because Jane is going to have sex?

2) Look, if you go through the seven stages of grief overnight, maybe the relationship that you’re grieving didn’t mean that much, to you to begin with…

3) OH FUCK, YOU’RE SHITTING ME!!

And what do you know? I finally agree with Rafael. He’s making a lot of sense – it’s true that it’s better to call it off before the baby is even born, which would complicate things so much more AND IT’S THE EXACT REASON WHY I ALWAYS THOUGHT THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE GOT TOGETHER AT ALL. And they shouldn’t stay together just not to “give up” – not if they’re always fighting! That’s how toxic relationships begin…

4) What is Roman planning to do with Petra? Also, murderer confirmed. He did kill his brother. Harsh.

5) I really, really hope they don’t stretch out this Xiomara-lying-to-Rogelio thing.

6) Ugh this is really exasperating!

She’s holding on to this glorified idea of a fairy tale romance and she doesn’t accept the reality that’s in front of her, which is that they’re not right for each other, at least not right now. I’M SO FUCKING TIRED OF THIS PLOT ISTG

7) COUPLE’S THERAPY?!!! Seriosuly??¡asdjlasdladaldlkasda

I’m sorry but how can’t she realize that if you need couple’s therapy after dating for what?, two months?, then maybe you’re not as meant to be as you think you are. THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!

8) Okay, that whole scene where Rafael and Jane describe their relationship in a nutshell was absolutely hilarious. So much shit has happened this season, it’s insane!

9) So Roman is basically taking over Rose’s drug-dealing “business.”

10) Petra is resourceful af, I love her. Let’s just hope she doesn’t get caught when she tries to use the cell phone.

11) PLEASE, RAFAEL, PLEASE, I’M BEGGING YOU HERE, DON’T BE WILLING TO DO THE WORK TO FIX THINGS. JUST DON’T. I’M EXHAUSTED. I CAN’T HANDLE THIS ANYMORE.

12) Wait. I just had a terrifying thought. They’ve brought up the sex thing, and Jane is desperately trying to make things work with Rafael for some reason. Does this mean that she will have sex with him in a last ditch effort to “save their relationship”? I don’t know if I’ll be able to survive that shit.

13) Andie is a shady bitch and I hope she’s gone soon, k? Thx, bye.

14) This is such an iconic masterpiece…

(I tried to find a video link for this scene, but I couldn’t, and I was afraid if I kept digging I’d get spoiled about something.)

15)  OMG

16) I’d forgive him.

17) OMG!!!!!!

That’s probably the best out-of-context line ever.

18) Why doesn’t she just run away?

19) Okay, good, she eventually ran. It just would’ve made more sense to ran first and make the phone call when she was away from him.

20) Oh, cool, she impaled Roman again.

21) They’re reading out these lists they wrote weeks ago, but I remember Rafael cheated because he showed his to Jane since she was freaking out about them not knowing each other well enough. UGHHHH AND NOW THEY’RE BACK TOGETHER???!!!! IS THIS MY PERSONAL VERSION OF HELL?!!! IT’S STARTING TO FEEL LIKE IT!

22) Uh-oh…

I think we’ll see how Rogelio and Xiomara deal with the exact same situation…

23) They’re going to have sex, aren’t they?

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

24) Bless your kind soul, Nick, you’re literally godsend!

25) Bless Xiomara for being the voice of reason.

26) What, Michael, what did you see?!!!

27) Holy shit, Nadine was working for Sin Rostro the whole time!

At least he gave her some time to get the hell away before they get her arrested.

28) My sweet Rogelio, he felt so guilty - even though he didn’t do anything wrong - and he confessed! And of course, Xiomara is taking advantage of his good-nature to get away with what she did…

29) It kind of breaks my heart that Petra reached out to Rafael first. Poor lonely girl, she has no one to turn to.

30) Like, I’m glad they’re broken up, but what he said sounded totally made up? And purposefully hurtful?

RAFAEL: Look, last night got me thinking, too. And I realized that something has changed.

JANE: What?

RAFAEL: I just don't love you the way that you love me. That's the problem. That's why this won't work.

JANE: I don't believe you.

RAFAEL: Look, I know that this hurts to hear

JANE: Why are you saying this?  

RAFAEL: Because I thought that I did. But I guess I just got caught up in the idea of us being a family. Of you being the mother of my child. And I was just projecting so much onto that. But I am seeing things clearly now. I think that we should end it. Focus on how we can both be good parents

31) Cool, the narrator will explain why this sounded so OOC. I’m sure someone pressured Rafael for some reason…

32) Okay, so no one forced him to do it, he truly believes being apart is the best thing for them and their child, and I have to agree with him. I just hope we’re over with this back and forth for a while. I’m beyond tired of it.

33) Did she really choose this moment to tell him? Did she forget what Jane said about his pride? Why would she humiliate him further by telling him about it in front of an audience while they’re doing a photoshoot?

He has every right to be angry, though. But I hope they can make up, they’re the most functional couple in this show, tbh.

34) And this has nothing to do with the fact that Michael just learned that Jane and Rafael broke up…

35) ALBA RECOGNIZED HER!!!

36) Even though I might just a tad tired of the whole Rafael/Jane thing - just a tad, mind you - I really can’t wait to see what the final episodes of this season have in store. I hae a feeling the season will end with a bang. Although I hope not literally. 

37)  Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

#Jane the Virgin #Jane Villanueva #Gina Rodriguez #Rogelio De La Vega #Petra Solano #MTVSwatches #JTV recap #JTV 1x19 #mine

[love-little-lotte]

My Top 11 Favorite Outlander Episodes (Seasons 1-3)

Hello! I’m back again with another Outlander post haha. What did you guys think of the latest episode? Wasn’t much of a fan of it (what the hell, Roger?) but I’m kind of looking forward for the next episodes now. 

But that’s not what this post is going to be about. I mentioned from my Outlander Obsession post that I would like to discuss about the cast and characters of Outlander, much like I did with The Handmaid’s Tale before. But then I realized that there are so, so, so many Outlander characters that made an impression and it would be impossible to fit them in one post. So, I decided to make a Top 11 Favorite Outlander episodes. 

These episodes are entirely my favorites. So I don’t care if you agree with me. I’m just sharing to you my fave episodes. You can definitely share your own as well. I also chose episodes from the first three seasons because Season 4 is just starting. Maybe I’ll make another one when Season 4 is done. 

So, shall we begin?

#11: Season 1, Episode 15 - Wentworth Prison

This episode was such a roller coaster, I swear. Since I don’t know anything about Outlander (I just recently started reading the first book, thanks to a suggestion), I was caught off guard when this episode happened. I don’t really have the stomach for torture scenes, so this one almost made me cry. The next episode is more, um, detailed for sure and is more harrowing than this one, but I couldn’t bring myself to rewatch that episode just yet. 

The Wentworth Prison episode, however, is more bearable to watch. I especially love Claire in this episode, since she portrayed a strong modern woman. Jamie rescues her a lot - when she was almost assaulted by Black Jack Randall and the one with the witch trial - and now, we get to see her rescue him. Despite the dangers ahead, she didn’t stay put and she was ready to risk everything.

This also highlighted the acting chops of Caitriona Balfe, Sam Heughan, and Tobias Menzies. They were definitely convincing as their characters, especially Sam and Tobias. I bet this was not an easy episode to shoot (as well as the next one), but hats off to them! 

#10: Season 2, Episode 11 - Vengeance is Mine

Ah, this was such an entertaining episode. I watched this in a public place on my phone while I was eating lunch, and I had to stop myself from screaming when the Duke died. The Duke of Sandringham is one of those characters that you love to hate! And it was such a pleasure to watch him die (most fittingly) in Murtagh’s hands. Mary also got her revenge to the man who raped her, which really ruined her prospects with the love of her life, Alex Randall.

Claire, also once again, became the heroine of the day when she sacrificed herself so that the Redcoats would leave them alone. Thanks to her quick thinking, she was able to save Jamie and the others, and crossed paths once again with Mary, saving her as well. 

#09: Season 3, Episode 1 - The Battle Joined

Finally! All of the events in the first two seasons led up to the historic Battle of Culloden, and it was a delight to see it. Though they only had snippets of it, it was so satisfying to see Jamie finally end Randall’s life. He finally got his revenge! But this triumph is temporary, when Jamie wakes to realize that most of his friends lost their lives in the battle, and that Claire is not there with him. 

Claire, on the other hand, is adjusting to her new life in Boston with Frank. It wasn’t easy, of course, but she was able to make life bearable. She learned to have a new relationship with Frank, even though it was not what they had before. Not only has she to overcome her new relationship with Frank, but also her status as a woman in the 40s, especially since she was regarded as one of the bravest women back in the 18th century Scotland. 

#08: Season 1, Episode 1 - Sassenach 

The episode that started it all. I started watching Outlander because I was bored one Sunday afternoon, but when I watched the first episode, I knew that I came across something special. 

The episode showed a small backstory of Claire in the war and her relationship with Frank, which made us sympathize her character when she time travelled to the 18th century. It also showed us Claire and Jamie’s first meeting with the dislocated shoulder scene! Sparks were definitely flying when they first met, I swear. The title of the episode is also one of my favorite term of endearments Jamie uses for Claire. 

#07: Season 2, Episode 4 - La Dame Blanche 

I have a soft spot for period dramas and dinner episodes haha. Maybe it’s an after-effect of Downton Abbey. 

Other than that scene though, this also introduced us to another villain in the Frasers’ life - Comte St. Germain. That piece of shit tried to poison our favorite feminist icon but being the baddest bitch that she is, she survived. This was also the episode when Claire finally reveals to Jamie that Black Jack Randall is actually alive, and that he will get his revenge. Jamie also got over (more or less) his traumatic experience, and finally has sex with Claire after months. 

#06: Season 2, Episode 13 - Dragonfly in Amber

This episode reduced me to tears! So many goodbyes. So many heartache. My poor heart can’t take it. Though there was a small piece of happiness (Claire is pregnant, again!), it was also the reason why Claire has to go back to her own time for the safety of her unborn child. 

Claire and Jamie’s tearful goodbye were so heartfelt and real, and both Cait and Sam acted so perfectly in that episode. I especially love Jamie’s lines: “Lord, ye gave me a rare woman, and God, I loved her well” before making love to Claire one last time. In the end, though, we find out that Jamie never really died in the Battle of Culloden and Claire makes up her mind to go back to see him again. 

Oh, and we also get to see Brianna, Claire and Jamie’s daughter. She’s an interesting character, for sure, and I can’t wait to see more of her. 

#05: Season 3, Episode 6 - A. Malcolm 

Yes! The most awaited reunion! After 20 years of being separated from each other, they finally reunite. Even though they’re much, much older than they last met, the passion is still burning and the love they feel for each other is still there.

Aside from the most-awaited love scenes, my favorite scene in this episode is Jamie finally seeing photographs of Brianna. It was such a wonderful moment, that after 20 years of not knowing what happened to his wife and daughter, he is finally aware that the sacrifice he made 20 years ago was worth it. The couple also had a lot to talk about after not seeing for so many years. I watched the whole season 3 in, like, a day so I cannot imagine the agony the fans had to endure while waiting for this episode haha. 

#04: Season 1, Episode 7 - The Wedding 

Ah, of course. You can’t have a Top Favorite Outlander Episodes without including this episode. This episode showed Claire and Jamie’s first kiss (which was weirdly during their wedding lmao) and their first love scene/s (they had sex, like, three times in this episode). 

Like I mentioned in a previous post, I don’t think Claire was in love with Jamie when she married him, but she was obviously drawn to him, and she felt a strong attachment. This was the beginning of an understanding Claire and Jamie shares - may it be physically, or romantically.

Plus, the costumes and setting were breathtaking. Claire’s wedding gown was absolutely charming, as well as the wedding place. It really gave me the 18th century feels. The flashbacks were also nicely put, as it gave more personality to other characters. 

#03: Season 1, Episode 9 - The Reckoning 

Correct me if I’m mistaken, but this was the first episode that Jamie was narrating, instead of Claire. We finally get to hear what he was thinking about the entire time. It was also in this episode where he truly admitted that he was indeed falling in love with Claire.

Claire and Jamie also get their first major fight as a married couple. The whole screaming match they shared was so... entertaining to watch haha. I could watch the two of them bantering the whole day, I swear. And when they forgave each other? Gah, tears me up all the time. 

Though the whole “disciplining the wife” scene was cringey, I guess it was still necessary especially because this was set in the 18th century, and husbands really do that to their wives. Jamie apologized in the end, though, and promised never to do that again and they had the most mind-blowing sex scene in the whole series lmao. 

#02: Season 2, Episode 7 - Faith 

This was one of the saddest episodes, ever. Or probably the saddest one. Claire losing her baby was such a punch to the gut. The whole scene with Claire singing to the baby was also such a heartbreaking moment. Claire is not a stranger to losing family members, since her own parents died when she was really young, but losing a child is something she never even imagined, also probably because she thought she could never conceive. 

The whole scene with the Comte and Raymond was also a nail-biter. The whole thing was directed perfectly and without flaw, and I love seeing the Comte receive his bitter end. Claire is someone you would not like to mess with. 

Caitriona Balfe in this episode was such a force to be reckoned with. Her acting chops were truly highlighted in this episode, and I could definitely feel her pain and anguish. I couldn’t imagine how she handled those feels, because ah, she was so amazing in this one. 

#01: Season 1, Episode 11 - The Devil’s Mark 

This episode is the best, really. The directing, the acting of everyone, the whole thing leading up to the witch trial... ah! Geilles is actually one of my favorite characters, even though she’s a villain. She’s tough and clever, and I have a weakness for female villains because it’s such a breather. Geilles is a very interesting character, for sure.

I’ve already suspected that Geilles was something else, when Claire saw her dance in the woods before, so I wasn’t really surprised when she was also from the future. Lotte Verbeek’s acting was so good, and I couldn’t imagine a better Geilles than her. 

Also, I always believed that this was the episode Claire finally realized that she’s really in love with Jamie. She finally trusts him enough to tell him the truth. And despite all of that, Jamie accepts her and even took her to Craigh na Dun so that she can be together with Frank again. He was ready to give up his happiness, his love for her, so that she could be happy.

But Claire didn’t go through the stones. She decided to stay with Jamie because yes, she’s in love with her. She also told him to bring her home to Lallybroch. It was actually in the next episode where they say “I love you” to each other, but her staying is also a sure sign that she was indeed has serious feelings for him. 

So, there you have it - my Top 11 Favorite Outlander episodes. Most of them are from the first two seasons, because those two are my favorites are more memorable to me. 

This is probably going to be the last lengthy Outlander post I’m going to make, unless there’s something exciting that will happen in the future episodes and I’ll have to rant about it haha. 

#outlander #outlander starz #claire fraser #jamie fraser #claire and jamie #caitriona balfe #sam heughan #tobias menzies #lotte verbeek #wentworth prison #vengeance is mine #the battle joined #sassenach #le dame blanche #dragonfly in amber #a. malcolm #the wedding outlander episode #the reckoning #faith episode #the devil's mark #diana gabaldon

[bidrums]

Forcing my friends to watch films: Rocky Horror

So @participlepotato  and I literally just watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show a few hours ago (I got drafted into watching Saw with some other friends and I must say that was fun) and their reactions were the absolute best.

Backstory: I’ve seen Rocky Horror twice before this viewing, once in the comfort of my own home and the second time last weekend with a live audience for the first time. They haven’t seen it at all and have looked it up on Parent’s Guide but that’s it.

The Reactions:

Me: So this is when we threw the rice.

Par: That makes sense.

Me: I got rice in my boobs.

Par: *snorts*

--

*Dammit Janet*

Me: *monotone* Dammit, Janet. I love you.

Par: The whole theater did that?

Me: Yeah.

Par: Excellent!

--

Par: They’re recreating American Gothic! Is there a reason?

Me: Nope.

Par: Just like this movie.

Me: Exactly!

--

*The Criminologist talking*

Par: What’s his deal?

Me: We never know.

Par: At all?

Me: He’s the narrator.

Par: Dear God.

--

Me: We call them “Asshole” and “Slut” the entire film. I won’t do that.

Par: No, you’re cool! I want the full experience! 

Me: You’re just hoping you’ll have context aren’t you.

Par: For the slut comments, yes!

--

Me: And this is when the assholes with squirt guns spray everyone and those of us that are lucky to be in the sides don’t get wet.

Par: I need to see this live now.

Me: I’ll go with you.

Par: Perfect.

--

Riff Raff: You’re wet.

Me: She’salwayswet!

Par: What?

Me: People do say that.

Par: *judgement*

Me: Only once!

Par: *judgement*

--

Par: What is that outfit (about Magenta)

Me: Sexy maid.

Par: I can dig it.

--

*Time Warp playing*

Par: Okay, we danced this in theater class.

Me: We go to the front of the theater and dance it.

Par: Yeah!

--

*Sweet Transvestite starts playing*

Me: Okay, this is the best entrance.

Par: *perks up* Really?

Me: Just watch.

*Tim Curry turns around and Janet faints*

Par: *dying of laughter* OH HELL YES

--

*Tim Curry struts to the throne*

Par: LET’S SEE THAT OUTFIT

*the cape goes off*

Par: YES!!! THOSE GLOVES!!! I NEED THOSE!!!

Me: *Dying of laughter*

--

*Riff Raff drops the wine bottle*

Me: Pouring a glass of wine, chugging the rest from the bottle, the shattering the bottle is a whole ass mood.

Par: *grunts in agreement*

--

*Brad and Janet enter the lab*

Par: *cackling* They’re all just staring at them this is so awkward I’m in love

--

*Rocky’s tank is revealed*

Par: It’s a mummy body!

Me: It’s a hottie body.

Par: What?

Me: What.

--

*Rocky face reveal*

Par: *scrunching up nose* That’s a bowl cut...

--

Par: I must say, he has a nice form. Good to draw.

--

Par: Why is he screaming?

Me: I mean, he did just bring a hot dude to life. He’s hysterical.

Par: But he has a bowl cut.

--

Par: He’s been alive for two minutes dude. He doesn’t even know what’s going on. Chill.

--

Par: *moving imaginary noisemaker after I told them about that*

--

Par: Can he even read?

Me: Apparently.

Par: But not talk.

Me: It’s bad science.

Par: Well duh.

--

Par: The OG I’ll Make A Man Out Of You.

--

*Eddie comes out*

Par: Is that a saxophone?

Me: Yes.

Par: Does he play it?

Me: Hell yes.

Par: Nice

--

Par: That outfit is great. The saxophone ties it together.

--

Par: This is my son now.

Me: We have joint custody.

Par: My Son!!!!

--

Me: So this is one of the few sequences that genuinely terrifies me.

Par: Wait, what??? You said this was funny?

Me: Just... watch.

*Eddie gets axed off*

Par: No oh no what did he do no Eddie! oh no why would you do that why

--

Par: Do we see Eddie again?

Me: *thinking of the dinner scene* ...Yes...

Par: Oh wait, I read that they eat him. Dammit!

Me: Yeah.

--

Par: That’s not Brad is it?

Me: Nope.

Par: It does look like- never mind.

--

Par: So this is why you call her slut.

Me: And because of... Another thing.

Par: Oh boy

--

Par: Is he holding a whole ass candelabra?

--

Par: Why?

Me: To be mean to Rocky.

Par: Why?

--

Par: Aren’t they siblings?

Me: Yeah. Ooh, elbow sex!

Par: What the fuck?

Me: Just watch.

*elbow ses*

Par: ...Why?

---

Par: *laughing their ass off* It’s the exact same scene oh my god literally the same thing holy shit Brad’s fucked

--

Me: Post-coitus cigarette.

Par: *snickers*

--

Par: Aww, she’s so sweet!

Me: *knows what’s literally about to happen in five seconds* ...Yeah...

--

*Touch-A Touch Me starts*

Par: Oh fuck no

--

Par: ...So she really is a whore.

Me: There’s no more sex, if that helps.

Par: Thank God

--

Par: Who’s that?

Brad: Scotty!

Par: *laughing* Scotty?

Me: We throw Scotty toilet paper at the screen when they say Great Scott.

Par: *dies* They say Great Scott? Oh yes I love this!

--

*Zen Room*

Par:... what.

--

Par: So they have a magnet... just for him? And it goes around corners?

Me: Even better.

*Magenta and Columbia*

Par: ...okay.

--

Brad: Great Scott!

Me: Cue toilet paper.

Par: *laughing too hard*

--

Frank: I know Brad is.

Me: *mockingly* “I hope you’re bi because Brad definitely is”

Par: *laughter*

--

Par: What about my son? 

Me: Well, he’s-

Dr. Scott: My nephew.

Par: *stunned silence*

--

*Eddie’s Teddy playing*

Par: He’s singing with an accent. Why?

Me: No idea.

--

Par: Eddie?

*the table is a coffin*

Par: Dammit!

--

Dr. Scott: My wheels! My God, I can’t move my wheels!

Me: My socks!

Par: *snorts* He’s wearing socks poor baby

--

Me: Everyone cheered for Columbia at this part.

Par: Good.

--

Me: Here’s the best Frank look.

*before the floor show look*

Par: What the hell?

--

*Brad lifts his leg*

Par: Leggy boi, Brad. Leggy.

Me: This is the best verse.

Par: Leg.

--

Me: Guess where the stairs go.

Par: The basement.

Me: That makes sense.

Par: The roof?

Me: That makes sense.

*It’s a pool*

Par: ...How is that even possible I’m sorry that’s a pool in a stage how does it go from a stage to a pool no I’m sorry why

Me: The pool’s inside the stage. That’s still the same stage.

Par: *eye twitch* Why.

--

*Dr. Scott raises his leg*

Par: *doubles over laughing* YES

Me: Was this one shot worth the entire film?

Par: YES

--

Me: Here’s where Susan Serandon kneed him in the balls.

Par: *snickering* His face.

--

*Riff and Magenta enter*

Par: Is that a man bun

Me: Unfortunately, yes.

Par: Ooh, Bride of Frankenstein Hair.

--

Par: ...what are those people?

Me: Dream sequence.

Par: Okay good.

--

Me: Shots like that have no place being this beautiful.

Par: Agreed.

--

Par: Oh thank god that’s just a ponytail.

Me: Better?

Par: It hurts less.

--

Me: Here’s the ultimate classic movie reference.

Par: What?

*Rocky climbs the tower*

Me: King Kong?

Par: Oh my GOD!!!!

--

Par: It’s a spaceship???

Me: Yep!

--

Me: What a shot to end on.

Par: Nice.

--

So Yeah, that was the reaction. I’m gonna force them and their sibling to watch other things with me, so there will be more!

#forcing my friends to watch films #rocky horror picture show #participlepotato #that was fun