#was sick yesterday and only had rice for dinner

[ixhadbadxdays]

Had a dream owl city released a new album a while back that I didn't know about. It woke me up in the middle of the night needing to immediately check.

There was no new album that I missed.

#owl city #it made me sad #also waking me up was a hungry stomach #was sick yesterday and only had rice for dinner

[twig-tea]

2023 BL/GL/QL Round-Up Post

I thought for posterity I'd post a reflection on everything I watched that completed in 2023. For me, that means anything that started in 2022 but the last episode was in 2023 is on this list, but anything that will still be airing after 31 December 2023 11:59 my time (EST) is not on this list, even if the bulk of the show did air in 2023.

A few stats:

110 discrete pieces of content (series/films)

clocking in at est. 600 hours of NEW BL/GL content only

from 9 different countries (Cambodia [1], Philippines [3], Hong Kong [1], Japan [18], Korea [19], Myanmar [1], Taiwan [6], Thailand [56], Vietnam [7])

~50% of the content I watched on this list is from Thailand

~85% of my content was on YouTube [40%], GaGaOoLaLa [23%] and iQIYI [21%].

[Note that this year a lot of older GMMTV shows moved off of YouTube and onto Viki so if you're looking at these stats to decide what to pay for, this won't account for that.]

This doesn't include re-watches or catching up on old shows [e.g. I re-watched Love Sick, My Ride the Series, Semantic Error, ITSAY/IPYTM, Our Dating Sim at least 3 times lol, and anything with a s2 I re-watched s1 to prep, among others, watched Fujoshi Ukkari Gei no Kokuru (2019) for the first time] or non-QL [e.g. Heartstopper s2, Our Flag Means Death s2, Taskmaster s. 15 & 16, Uncanny Counter s2, One Piece s1, etc.] but does include films as well as shows, though I don't count special episodes separately (so Wedding Plan counts once, though I watched both the show and the special).

I hope you all appreciate that with this much content, and with my general brand of being unable to make decisions, I really struggled to narrow down a top 10 list. What follows is the best I could do lol

Top 20 Shows I'd Recommend From This Year:

Moonlight Chicken

Our Dating Sim

Bed Friend

The Eighth Sense

La Pluie

Sing My Crush

Tokyo in April Is...

Wedding Plan

Laws of Attraction

I Cannot Reach You

I Feel You Linger in the Air

What Did You Eat Yesterday S2

I Became the Lead in a BL Drama

If It's With You

Love in Translation

Our Dining Table

My Personal Weatherman

My Beautiful Man: Eternal

My School President

Be My Favorite

+10 I liked but I would only recommend with caveats:

Love Class 2

The New Employee [for the Rainbow Rice Cakes]

Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru

Never Let Me Go

Kiseki: Dear to Me

Unintentional Love Story

The Day I Loved You

End of the World with You

A Breeze of Love

Jack O'Frost

Bonus: Not a BL but worth calling out:

One Room Angel

Midnight Museum

Grand Guignol

The Warp Effect

Sadly, of the GLs that aired this year, I wouldn't recommend any of them. The best one was Show Me Love, which was not actually good but had very gorgeous women and a LOT of flirting.

The other huge thing that happened this year was that I stopped lurking! Thanks specifically to @lurkingshan and @bengiyo demanding everyone start talking about La Pluie, because they got me to post my first meta post. And because I started actually talking to people, I started making actual friends, and participated in organizing things like the Be My Favorite clown checkpoint for ep 11. I also disappeared a month because of life, and am still catching up on everything I intended to write this year. But it's been really rewarding finding this corner of tumblr with likeminded people who like good shows, like to think about these shows, and who are interested in talking about them in a way that's insightful and respectful.

It's been a long time since I felt comfortable enough participating actively in a fandom, and I just want to say to everyone I've interacted with this year: Thank you!

Full list under the cut for anyone curious! [Mostly in order it aired but may be slightly off].

Love Bill

Director Who Buys Me Dinner, The

Star Always Follow You, The

Cutie Pie 2 You

Between Us the Series (Hemp Rope)

Reason Why He Fell in Love with Me Special & S2 [international release]

New Employee, The

I Will Hit You/I Will Knock You

Individual Circumstances

609 Bedtime Story

GAPYuri / GAP the series

My School President

HitBiteLove the Series

Never Let Me Go

Moonlight Chicken

History 5: Love in the Future

Oh My God (ToDo) the Series

Warp Effect, The

End of the World, With You

My Blessing the Series

Our Winter (miniseries)

All the Liquors

Once in Memory: Let Me Be Yours

Shoulder to Cry On, A

Jack O'Frost

Our Dating Sim

Midnight Museum

Me, My Husband, and My Husband's Boyfriend

My Colleague at BL Shop might be My Meant-to-Be

Unintentional Love Story

Chains of Heart

Bed Friend the series

Bad Brother the Series

Stormy Honeymoon

Eighth Sense, the

Bad Brother the Series

Future Series

Tin Tam Jai the series

Crush on You

House of Stars the Series

Happy Merry Ending

Boss and a Babe, A

Pastsenger the Series

Love Mate

Love Syndrome the Series

Promise the Series, The

Day I Loved You, The

Our Dining Table (Bokura no Shokutaku)

Our Skyy 2

My Story the Series

Starstruck

Love Tractor

Naked Dining

Luminous Solution, The

Omai Series / Is My Roommate A Foreigner

Stupid Genius

Step By Step

La Pluie the series

Tie the Not

Sing My Crush / Follow the Wind

Tokyo in April Is .../ Shigatsu no Tokyo wa

Senior Love Me?

Be My Favorite

Show Me Love

Dinosaur Love

Low Frequency

Stay Still

Stay By My Side

Jun & Jun

Wedding Plan the Series

Laws of Attraction, the

Love Class s2

Minato's Laundromat S2

Hidden Agenda

Bon Appetit

Why RU the Series [Korean adaptation]

Be Mine Superstar

Star, The Season 2

Love In Translation

My Beautiful Man: Eternal

My Personal Weatherman

Bump Up Business

Naughty Babe Series

Only Friends

Grand Guignol

Dangerous Romance

If It's With You / Kimi to Nara Koi wo Shite Mite Mo

Y Journey: Stay Like a Local

I Feel You Linger in the Air

Venus in the Sky

Kiseki: Dear to Me

I Cannot Reach You

You Are Mine

Breeze of Love / Weather Forecast of Love

Mr. Cinderella 2

Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru

One Room Angel

Marry My Dead Body

Lucky My Love the Series

Pure Vanilla: Recipe for Romance

Absolute Zero

Memories, The

My Dear Gangster Oppa

Shadow

What Did You Eat Yesterday? S2

Middleman Love

Beyond the Star

Bake Me Please

You and My Stars

I Became the Lead in a BL Drama

#2023 round-ups #bl meta #multi bl #typed so i can stop thinking it #twig talks #top lists are so hard for me this is the best I could do #if anyone wants to know anything about any of these shows feel free to ask! #best of bl 2023 #long post

[crystalsnow95z]

Could you do Joon with a high fever and stomach bug during a comeback stage? Caretaker ot6...how they help him

It feels like I'm writing a lot of sick joonie lately.. my two part flu, my collab story and another story where he's sick at a concert..

I'm sorry it took so long halfway through writing. I hated it and started a new idea..

It's staying as long as it is..I'm done editing it >.< I have no idea why I obsessed over this so long, and hate it or not this is how it's staying

Tw: fever, vomit

Namjoon adds one more layer of foundation to try to cover up his pale skin without making it too obvious that he put on makeup carefully, adding it around his face moles so they don't get covered.

I'm doing much better this morning.. I don't need the others worrying about me..

Namjoon checks himself out once more in the mirror before taking a seat at the table, picking up a pair of chopsticks to eat with the others.

"I can't believe this is the last practice before the concert.." Jimin pushes the rice around with his chop sticks, struggling to calm the nerves that knotted his stomach.

"Don't worry, Jiminie. I know you'll do great. We've been practicing for a couple of months and we did it perfectly yesterday." Taehyung tries to quell Jimin's anxiety, rubbing his hand across his knee.

"But for the past week, we've been a member short.." Jimin glances at Namjoon, who just sat next to him. Their leader has been fighting with some sort of stomach bug, unable to eat anything without it coming back up again.

"Don't worry about me. Yoongi-hyung has been sending the practice recordings to watch, and I already learned the choreography before I got sick. I'm fine." Namjoon takes a mouthful of rice to try to prove his point.

"Are you sure you're well enough to perform? You were able to hold dinner down last night, but you still shouldn't push yourself. " Seokjin worries about the youngest rapper, reaching to check if his fever really was gone.

"I'm fine, Hyung. I was cleared to perform tonight. I'll just take it easy." Namjoon allows Seokjin to place his hands on the back of his neck to help ease his mind, the older relieved when he doesn't feel the heat that's been radiating off it for several days.

What Namjoon wasn't telling him is that he was still taking medicine to keep his fever under control, and last night, even though he never threw up, his stomach still cramped up keeping him up most of the night.

We worked on perfecting this album for over a year, I can't let our hard work be in vain just because of a stomach ache.. I have to perform tonight..

Namjoon ate even with his stomach still feeling bloated, knowing if he refused to eat, the others would suspect something was wrong. He kept his bites small, washing them down with sips of water.

"It's really good, we should order it again when the show is over." Jungkook says through a mouthful of food, changing the subject to a lighter one.

"Don't eat too much, though Koo. You don't want to be too full before practice." Jin warns.

"Joon-ah you shouldn't eat too much either, I know you're probably hungry from hardly eating but you need to slowly start eating again.." J-hope frets over Namjoon.

"Don't worry Hobi, I only had some of the kimchi fried rice.. I don't want to push my luck.." Namjoon reassures his fellow 94liner with a gentle smile. "I feel much better today, really. You guys worry too much."

"Seriously, don't overdo it, and if you start to feel unwell, tell me right away, okay?" J-hope places his hand on Namjoon's shoulder, biting his lip when he notices that he could see more of Namjoon's collar bone. "Joon, you lost weight.."

"I wanted to lose a bit of weight anyway." Namjoon brushes off J-hope's grip. "Eat Hoba. You hardly ate anything. You need to keep your energy up. You got a tough slot tonight." He tries to turn the tables, but J-hope refuses.

"Yeah, but the way you lost it isn't healthy. I'll be fine..."J-hope watches Namjoon for a moment before taking another bite. Namjoon has pain hidden behind those eyes, and it looks like he hasn't slept.

"I told you, I'm fine." Namjoon says looking away from J-hope's eyes, jumping when he sees Taehyung standing next to him. "Sh*t! You scared me.."

"Sorry Hyung, I made some ginger tea for you." Taehyung places a cup in front of Namjoon, giving a shy smile.

"Thanks, Tae.." Namjoon takes it gratefully, hoping it would help settle his stomach. But since he made it, he also doesn't believe I'm better..

"No problem. Even if you do feel better. Better safe than sorry, right?" Taehyung gives a warm smile before sitting back down next to Jungkook.

"Right.." Namjoon sips on the tea, relaxing when the warm liquid soothes his aching stomach. "It's really good."

"Shoot, we have to leave in ten minutes." J-hope says after noticing the time, shoving one more bite into his mouth before starting to clean up the table.

Jungkook jumps to help J-hope clean up the table, taking care of Namjoon's mess for him. "I got it, hyung."

"I put the extra tea from the pot in here for you Namjoon-ah." Taehyung hands him his BT21 thermos.

"I said I'm feeling better. Don't worry so much." Namjoon places his hand on Taehyungs head, ruffling his hair.

Namjoon normally didn't feel car sick, yet the moment the car started moving, his stomach felt painfully tight, the seat belt pressing against it making it worse. He tucks his arm around it, using it to stop the strap from touching his aching middle.

"Hyung are you okay?" Jimin asks when he sees Namjoon wrap his arm around his stomach.

"Yeah, I just started feeling sick when we got in the car.. I'll be fine when we reach the stadium." Namjoon felt his stomach flip when the driver made a turn, a small groan escaping.

"Poor Hyungie. Try looking out the window and focusing on the horizon. It might help." Jimin says sympathically, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze. Usually, it was him or J-hope who got motion sick, but on rarer occasions, the others suffered too.

Namjoon stares out the window, keeping his eyes on the setting sun, but it doesn't do much to help settle his aching stomach, though not throwing up was enough to please him. "It helped..thanks Jimin-ah.."

Jimin smiles. "No problem. I'm happy to help."

Namjoon focuses on the voices of his teammates chatting, their excitement helping him be distracted from the pain.

"Army will be so surprised with the new choreography! Especially the hook part! I can't wait to show them!" Jungkook speaks with excitement.

"That's because you plan to flash your belly." Jimin teases him, remembering the move he added to practice yesterday.

"Not my belly.. my.." Jungkook stops in mid sentence to check if his abs were still there after his meal, peeking down his shirt. "My abs!" He confirmed, making the others laugh.

Namjoon smiled, knowing what happened even without looking at Jungkook. He presses his cheek against the window, the cold glass feeling nice on his hot skin. I'll have to take another dose of medicine when we get there...

"You should flash yours with me! Jiminie-hyung and Taehyungie-Hyungie. In the part where it's just us three!"

"Unlike you, I don't quite have abs.." Jimin says with a tinge of pink. "I don't work out as much as I used to back in our debut days."

"Yes, you do.. i saw them a few days ago, and even if you don't, that doesn't matter. Army will still love it." Jungkook reaches over to Jimin to lift up his shirt, but the older vocalist holds it down.

"Jungkook-ah! Stop that! Go bother Tae about his. He's been working out with Namjoonie-hyung." Jimin fights off Jungkook's hands, grabbing his wrists, trying to sound serious, but a smile gives away he's not actually upset.

"He's not the one who says he doesn't have any, you did." Jungkook points out, now trying to peer down his neck line, Jimin using one hand tp hold down his bottom and one near his neck.

"Namjoonie-Hyung got sick like a week after we started. I dont think my body is that great either." Taehyung states, getting the attention off his soulmate, smiling with amusement.

"It was pretty close when you started." Jungkook moves to his next target,trying to lift Taehyung’s shirt to check. "I bet you got at least a little toned!"

"Stop that tickles..." Taehyung giggles, trying to fight off the mankae. "Jungkook-Ah..!" He laughs when Jungkooks fingers brush against his side.

"I feel them!" Jungkook smiles.

Namjoon was thankful for all the noise the youngers were making. It covered up the gurgling of his stomach, discreetly rubbing his hand across it. But not discreetly enough.

"You okay Namjoon-ah?" Yoongi asks, looking over Namjoon with a worried expression. "You're not gonna be sick are you?" He looks around the van, trying to look for a bag.

"Oh, no. I'm fine, I was just thinking about my own body. I probably lost mine while i was sick.." Namjoon wasn't lying to him, just not telling him the real reason. He looks at his reflection in the window. "

"You planning to join the maknae’s stage antics to make army scream?" Yoongi smiles with amusement, raising an eyebrow, dropping the subject.

"Nah, I'll let them have the fun. I hope they don't waste all their energy before the show even started." Namjoon smiles, taking a sip of his tea.

Namjoon's stomach didn't settle when he got out like he hoped. Maybe it wasn't carsickness... Every jump, every turn, every quick position change. It made him feel worse. He was happy they didn't go all out for stage practice. His stomach gurgled angrily at the movements, but he didn't dare touch it to try to ease the pain. He knew the others were keeping a close eye on him.

"That was great, everyone!" J-hope tells his team with a warm smile. "That's enough practice for today. Namjoon-ah, you're sweating more than usual. Are you sure you're okay to perform tomorrow?"

"I lost some of my stamina, but I'll be fine. With a crowd cheering, it'll be much easier. I'll get to bed early tonight." Namjoon walks away from J-hope to get water, but when he goes to bend down to get it, another wave of pain washes over him, making him stumble forward.

"Woah, i got you." Jimin grabs him by the shoulders to steady him."Here, hyung, you can have mine.." Jimin offers his water bottle, helping him to the floor. "You should rest a bit.. You haven't fully recovered yet.."

"Thanks, Jimin.." Namjoon smiles forcing his voice to sound normal despite the cramping that made him feel dizzy.

"Jimin-sii! We figured out the part where all three of us can flash our abs! Come here!" Jungkook calls to him.

"Aiish, that kid.." Jimin smiles fondly.

"Go on. I'm fine." Namjoon shoos him away before Jimin realizes he wasn't just tired. He only allows himself a minute to rest, taking small sips of water before getting up to join the olders.Yoongi and J-hope were fussing over the minor details. "No, I think we should do more center stage.."

Namjoon went to ask what they were discussing, but a stomach cramp made nothing come out but a breathy groan, taking a few steps back before they noticed he approached.

Why now...? I need to get better not worse..

"I think we should do two songs on the left stage, three center and two on the right.." Yoongi countered.

"Namjoon-ah what do you think?"

J-hope was trying to ask him for advice, but he was too focused on keeping his stomach under control, walking a bit ahead of them to keep them from looking at him. "I trust your judgment.Do whatever you think is good Hoba."

"You don't trust mine?" Yoongi tries to tease him playfully, but Namjoon's eyes widen when he feels like he just disrespected his hyung.

"No, no its not like that Yoongi..I'm sorry." Namjoon does a slight bow, not wanting to bend.

"You don't have to be sorry.. Since we got that settled, let’s go back to the hotel." Yoongi gently pushed him towards the stairs.

He must be exhausted from practice. I think he came back too soon.

"I'll round up the kids." J-hope goes to the mankae line to tell them it was time to go, having the exact same thought as Yoongi.

The next day came, but instead of feeling better, Namjoon found himself three steps back. He woke up at six in the morning, dry heaving on the bathroom floor, already empty from the salad he had for dinner that night.

He was tempted to call Jin or Yoongi to come to his room, but then the concert popped in his mind, only making him feel worse..

It must just be stress and nerves.. I was cleared.. I can't still be sick..

Namjoon continued to lie to himself as he shakily rose to his feet getting himself a cup of hot water to try to sooth his raw throat.

"I don't have time for this...the concert is tonight.." Namjoon sighs, looking at his reflection in the mirror, seeing the dark circles and red cheeks. "I look awful.."

Namjoon quickly showers, putting on another layer of make up and taking another round of medicine to try to fight off the sickness that wouldn't leave.

"Good morning Hyung, did you sleep well?"

Jimin greets him with a worried expression when they meet up together to go back to the stadium. "Me and Junggukkie went out this morning to get you vitamins to try to help your energy for tonight."

"Thanks Jiminie..i probably slept a good five hours. It's hard to sleep on the first day of a concert.. especially when we're performing a song for the first time live." Namjoon replies, trying to keep the conversation off of him.

"I'm nervous but excited." Jungkook says bouncing his leg, clearly feeling more nervous than he's letting on.

"We practiced hard. We'll do fine." J-hope reassures him, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze.

Namjoon listened quietly to the others as they drove to the stadium, the others telling stories about past concerts, going over lyrics and practicing the native language. All the different conversations made his head spin.

"Are you okay Joon-ah?" J-hope asks when he sees Namjoon press his forehead into his palm.

"I'm just a little stressed, so it's giving me a headache. I'm worried about being able to keep up tonight." Namjoon couldn't say nothing was wrong.. not with J-hope. He was lucky his friend didn't catch on yesterday.

"If you want to sit on stage and just sing, you can Joon. You don't have to push yourself if you dont have the energy. I don’t want you fainting.." J-hope reassures Namjoon, squeezing his knee softly.

"Yeah joon. You shouldn't do more than you can.." Jin joins in the conversation, abandoning his conversation with Yoongi. Namjoon was more important than making sure he got the lyrics right..

"I'll see how I feel after the first few songs.. I know I'll feel stronger with army cheering. Don't worry about it. I'm just overthinking.." Namjoon tries to make it sound like it wasn't a big deal.

"Alright, but if I tell you you have to rest then you have to listen. Okay?" Jin speaks in a serious tone, not dropping it until he sees Namjoon nod.

I have to try...

Namjoon bit the inside of his cheek when he feels another cramp in his stomach. "Can we go over Just one day one more time?"

Namjoon took the cocktail of vitamins to try to fight off the fatigue that made him feel dizzy.

"Here hyung.." Taehyung gives him a thermos. "To help wash it down."

"Thanks Tete.." Namjoon guessed correctly when he let the warm liquid touch his tongue. It was tea, mixed with ginseng and honey.

"No problem.. ah..hyungie, are you sure you're okay?" Taehyung asks voice thick with worry.

"I can do this. Don't worry. Just focus on the concert.." Namjoon ruffles Taehyung's hair.

"Hyung! She just did my hair.." Taehyung pouts, swatting his hand away.

"Oh, sorry.. I didn't think of that." Namjoon lies. He knew exactly what he was doing. Getting rid of Taehyung before he got a closer look at him.

"It's okay. I'll get it redone." Taehyung returns to the stylist, bowing in apology.

Namjoon goes to his makeup stylist. "I'm sorry..I tried helping by doing a basic layer.." he was safe as long as staff was working on getting him ready. He just needed to do his best to not stick out before sound check.

Soundcheck came, all seven boys going on stage together, starting with just singing spring day then dancing to Fire. Spring day went smoothly, but when it came to the next song, he found himself out of sync, when he dropped low he couldn't jump back up as quickly as the others and no matter what he did go try to fix it, all the jumps made his stomach hate him even more.

Namjoon knew the choreography perfectly. They've done it multiple times at many concerts, award shows, even just as a warm-up during practices, but he just couldn't concentrate. He picked up his mistake right away, guilt churning in his stomach as he tries to correct himself, but he couldn't get himself back on track. He lost the beat.

Sh*t..fu*k..!

He tried to follow the movements of the others, nearly missing his part to rap when he notices everyone move back.

Namjoon closed his eyes, focusing on only the music, ignoring everything else. The pain in his stomach, the throbbing headache, the chills that kept making him shiver. No..no..I can do this..

His mind and his body weren't in agreement. He ran into Jin when he was trying to switch positions, but both boys pretended nothing happened.

Namjoon felt tears swelling up, each wrong step weighing heavier than the last, making him feel worse. I can't do this...

Namjoon had to get off the stage, but in his feverish state he ends up going the wrong way, nearly stepping off the stage, army squealing to see him so close, some trying to grab him.

"No Namjoon-ah!" J-hope is the one to grab hold of him, pulling him by the back of his jacket.

"Hoseok-Ah, what's wrong?" Namjoon jumps when he feels J-hope grab the back of his jacket, noticing the end of the stage quickly backing up two steps. "Oh sh*t!"

"Namjoon-ah.." J-hope moves in front of Namjoon to look into his eyes, noticing they don't focus on him, looking glassy. "Joon, are you okay?"

Namjoon quickly looks away when he sees J-hope's panicked expression, but it is too late, he's already checking him over placing the back of his hand across his forehead.

"Namjoonie, your fevers returned.." J-hope states, sucking his breath through his teeth. "You're burning up with fever. "

"I'm fine." Namjoon pushes his hand away. "It's just the stage lights. It's hot here."

"Then why didn't you take off your jacket if it's so hot?" Yoongi was done with his excuses. Hw takes Namjoon's hand, pulling him backstage. "Hoba, please handle things up here.."

J-hope nods, going by Seokjin. "We aren't doing the small talk with army.

"Why? What's wrong?" Seokjin asks as soon as J-hope approaches when he notices Yoongi and Namjoon leaving the stage.

"Namjoon is still sick..Yoongi went to take care of him.." J-hope answers, bowing to army when he passes them.

Jin wanted to follow Yoongi but knew they couldn't just abruptly leave. They had to be professional. He gathers the remaining members to quickly say goodbye to the army, trying his best to hide the concern.

"Stay here for a bit, we'll handle things backstage.." j-hope orders the younger members.

"Love you army!" Jimin yells into the mic, giving a thumbs up to j-hope.

"Sorry..." Jungkook apologize into his.

Seokjin goes backstage to find Yoongi striping Namjoon out of the jean jacket he was wearing. "Yoongi, how is he?"

"Namjoonie is running a high fever.." Yoongi explains, taking a towel to wipe the sweat from Namjoon’s face. "I can't believe I didn't notice until now."

"It's not a big deal.." Namjoon says softly, not having the energy to fight off Yoongi removing his shoes and socks.

"Be quiet Namjoon-ah.. let me take care of you." Yoongi gently orders him. "Joon, did you bring any medicine with you?"

Namjoon nods, Seokjin quickly going to find where the young rapper put it. He finds the liquid medicine Namjoon shoved in his bag pouring some out for him to drink.

"Hyungie is still sick?" Jungkook runs towards them.

"Did you explain things to army?"

"I did my best without trying to worry them.."

"I tried too, but they see right through my lies."Taehyung bows his head in apology. "I'm sorry hyung.."

"It's fine Hyung. They'd find out sooner or later." Yoongi takes the medicine from Seokjin, tipping the cup to Namjoon's lips.

Namjoon tries to swallow, but it doesn't make it past his throat before his breakfast from this morning makes a reappearance, heaving loudly as the half digested rice sprays across the floor before anyone has time to react.

"Sh*t..Sh*t Joon.." Yoongi looks around with widened eyes for something for him to get sick in before the next retching comes.

J-hope feels nauseous when he hears it, backing up slowly. Namjoon feels his stomach knot up even more with guilt when he sees him fleeing, along with seeing the mess he's made, some of the white mush hitting Yoongi's shoes. "I..i..so..rrp-" He burps up more sick puffing up his cheeks, refusing to let more hit the already soiled floor.

Seokjin provides him with one placing it in front of Namjoon, gently rubbing his back. "It's okay baby, it's okay.. it's not your fault.."

Namjoon allows the sick to fill the bin, gripping the small bin, his knuckles turning white. His stomach churns again, pushing up watery liquid. "Hyung...it h..hurts.." he says in a breathy whimper as his body continues, heaving not allowing him any breaks to breathe.

"I know, Joonah, I know.. it'll be over soon.. just try to take deep breaths.. you're hyperventilating, sweetie.."

"I..i..I ca..." Namjoon coughs, gagging up nothing but foamy salvia.

"You need to try.." Yoongi gently urges him.

Namjoon takes a deep breath, whimpering when he feels the pain burning his sides.

"That's it, good, good..." Seokjin let's go of the breath didn't even realize he was holding when he hears Namjoon's retching dying down, leaving the rapper trembling and fighting to catch his breath.

Seokjin gently peels Namjoons fingers from the waste bin, gently pulling him back away from the mess. "Here Joon-ah..lay down baby.. it's okay.."

Seokjin places Namjoon's head in his lap, gently moving his plastered bangs from his forehead, gently rubbing his thumb across Namjoon’s temple"There is that any better?"

"I..I'm dizzy..an..and the f..floor is c.cold..Hyung.." Namjoon murmurs, clinging to Seokjin's waist. The oldest vocalist gets startled by his sudden affection.

"Oh Joon-ah, you're really not doing well.." Yoongi takes the towel to wipe the sweat off of Namjoon's skin.

"We need to get him to a hospital.." Seokjin motions for the staff who's been watching the scene, but Namjoon grabs his wrist.

"I'll..I'll be okay in a few minutes..no..no hospital..i have to perform.." Namjoon coughs, his throat still burning.

"Hyungie.. you can't.. you're sick.." Jungkook kneels down in front of him. "I know how hard it is to sit out, but you can't perform .."

"I won't m.mmess up th..this time.." Namjoon whimpers out the words.

"No one cares you messed up, baby. You just can't perform in this condition.." Seokjin tries to stroke his hair but Namjoon pushes his hand away.

Namjoon sits up, swaying into Seokjin. "I..I have to! We've all been practicing for months, we've been getting army ex..exci..ted.. I..I can't d..disappoi.." His voice breaks off in a sob when his stomach turns into a ball of anxiety, clutching his stomach.

Jungkook hugs onto his ailing hyung. "Don't cry it's okay..it's..we understand, and so does army. You can't help it if you're sick.." he strokes Namjoon's back, feeling the heat radiating off of him. "You're gonna make yourself worse..pleaSe..?" The last word cracks as he breaks into a sob.

"Kook-ah don't.." Namjoon whispers.

Don't cry because of me..I've already ruined enough.. you still have to sing tonight..

"Hyungie I'm..I'm sorry.." Jungkook lip quivers, voice coming out as a shaky whimper when he feels Namjoon growing heavier in his arms the shivering worsening. "Namjoon-ah!"

"I..I'm..I'm okay..ju..jus..dizty..." Namjoon's words come out slurred, pressing his forehead into his shoulder.

"We need to cool him down.. could I have an ice pack?" Seokjin asks staff, already having some on hand. "Thank you.." he bows his head as he take one, placing it on the nape of Namjoon's neck after wrapping it in a towel.

"That's cold..!" Namjoon whines, clinging closer to the warm mankae.

"It's okay Hyung...I got you.." Jungkook rubs Namjoon’s shoulders, trying to ease some of the tension out wanting to do something to help. "You gotta rel..relax a little okay..?" His voice trembled with the tears that could not control.

Namjoon takes a few deep breaths, enduring the cold. I gotta..or I can't perform..

Jungkook sniffles, wiping his nose, feeling his heart and getting lighter when Namjoon stops leaning on him so heavily, the shivers becoming less violent. "I..I think it's working..'

"Sorry Jungkook-ah.." Namjoon murmurs an apology. "I..I'm good now.."

"Don't be sorry Hyungie.. it's okay. Lean on me as much as you want.."

Namjoon shakes his head. "No.. no..I'm being..a big baby..not your hyung.. You guys are right..I can't do this.."

Jungkook feels the tension in his body loosen when he hears Namjoon sounding more like himself. "It's okay.."

"Hyung...hyung listen!" Taehyung blurts out everyone getting quiet to listen.

"Kim Namjoon..It's okay!" The stadium were all cheering over and over.

Namjoon smiles softly. "Seems you're right Koo.."

#bts #bts boys #bts sickfic #bts fanfic #bts sickie #bts taehyung #bts jungkook #bts namjoon #bts jhope #bts jimin #bts yoongi #sick!fic #sick!namjoon

[twbutterfly-milk]

WIEIAD TW: ED, undereating, cals, mention of ed thoughts+food guilt, this is your kind reminder to scroll away if this is the kind of thing that triggers you OR if you're considering/in recovery or if u just shouldn't/don't want to be consuming this content.

WIEIAD recovering from being sick and for some reason i actually had more than 2 meals today??? (Usually the absolute max) this is good ig, gonna try to be happy instead of sad abt this. I'm vegetarian btw in case anyone is wondering why there's no meat or fish in my day.

Breakfast: Had some oatmeal but instead of using a splash of milk and mostly water, i used a splash of a chocolate protein shake my grandpa bought me, i can't stand liquid cals but i wanted to try it since protein shakes are usually like THE fit thing, it was way too high cal, i did have some more later but then i gave the rest to my younger sibling, cuz it's essentially choc milk and obv she liked it so idrc. With the oatmeal, i had an apple, and recently i replaced sugar with honey for most things idk why it was kind of random but it happened so i used a teaspoon of honey to sweeten the oatmeal instead of sugar. After that i had an orange (hard to believe i used to be scared of fruit bc of "sugars" and how "calorically dense" they are, i'm still pretty sensetive with fruit but i do eat them. Ngl i think the orange was a binge bc i rly wasn't going to have it and i didn't even want it and i felt full and had knew it was just gonna add calories, but i ate most of it out of control and threw away the last two slices, felt really bad after the binge too Cals: 364

Lunch: had some leftover ig stew? It's a traditional dish called "canja" but it's essentially a chicken stew and all the other ingredients can vary quite a bit, i had half a boiled carrot, with 2tbsp of the rice and i added 1tbsp of canned black eyed peas for protein and heated it all up. Afterwards, i had about half a berry yoghurt and threw the rest away :/ Cals: 98

Pm snack: had a small slice of melon and a 10kcal zero sugar jelly, it's so good and cheap, i bought it when i was sick cuz i felt like gelatin so i wouldn't puke again but i couldn't stand sugar so problem solved. Cals:28

Dinner: had like 5 bits of colourful twisty pasta (sry idk the name of it, it's like penne pasta but it's twisted and not hollow, yk?), and another 1/2 of boiled carrot, with 1tbsp of black eyed peas and less than half a beetroot. Cals: 66

Late night/post dinner snack: immediately after dinner i got hiccups and i hate hiccups; they're terrible so i had some tea to calm down (it actually kind of worked? Thank God cuz hiccups are so painful) and a plain buiscuit. Cals: 31

Daily total: 587kcal (trying not to be too harsh on myself, especially as i was literally sick yesterday but i still feel terrible as this is more than double my daily limit, ik that's terrible). Got around 23grams of protein, which is prob not enough, i could have just had the full protein shake as it would have given me 25g of protein but i'm really scared of liquid calories.

Water: not sure exactly how much but i know i got at least 2L, prob a little over it. My goal is 3L when i do overexercise a lot but 2.5L when i do nornal exercise. When i don't reach this goal i have to have at least 2L otherwise i feel bad.

Exercise: decided to try out sprint intervals instead of long running but only managed 6mins or so of 30:30 sprint intervals, so i learnt something new to work on, increasing my resistence during sprinting. Looking on the positive side of things is always nice ♡ (≈50cals?)

Sleep: tommorow i don't have school so despite going to bed at almost 12pm i'm hoping to sleep a lot. Update, i had maybe 7hrs or so. Not enough as the amount women need is between 8-10hrs and men only need around 7-8hrs (again gonna depend on a lot of other things, don't feel bad for sleeping "too much", if ur concerned it could be a symptom of something, visit a doctor if you can cuz both being under and overly tired can be a sign smth is worng, but as long as ur having at least the minimum amount it's fine ig). Sorry i just wanted to info dump abt the amount of sleep u need hehe, but srsly i haven't been getting enough sleep recently which sucks cuz i love sleeping.

I know it was a lot of writing. Stay safe and have a good day 🩷

[oneshotnewbie]

Can you do a oneshot where B!D has emetophobia (fear of vomiting). But one day she gets sick with food poisoning, and Alex finds her throwing up in her apartment and has to comfort her, and help her control her breathing, and afterwards B!D breaks down crying in Alex's arms. And Al says she wont leave her side.

The first unusual thing you noticed was the lack of hunger in the forenoon. Although you didn´t find it reprehensible; you were always a person who didn´t eat anything in the morning, but felt hungry.

But today there was nothing at all; no rumbling of your stomach nor the craving for something. Everything was missing.

So when you tried to eat your dinner, you couldn´t swallow anything. Your body refused to accept the food, and after only a few small successful but unsatisfying forks, you involuntarily pushed the plate away from you and stared at it disgustedly.

Wordlessly, you dragged a hand through your hair and stood up to pack the food in the kitchen from the plate into a plastic container so that you could warm it up again before wandering off into the bathroom.

From there, the steady growth of nausea began, entangling you in thought and fears of vomiting. You were terrified of throwing up, thanks to a trauma from your childhood and slowly, your breathing became shallow as every single move was cautious and light footed.

You sighed miserably as your body came to rest in front of the toilet, sitting on the cold tile floor while your back and head were resting against the small dresser. Your nausea started rising faster- from your stomach to your chest and you grew increasingly distressed.

As a precaution, you called Alex and asked her to keep the phone near her in case you needed her. But the redhead noticed the sheer panic in your voice and didn´t play around for long; she promptly made her way to your shared apartment.

When she came rushing in through the door, the apartment felt silent and Alex eyes scanned the open room. The room, lit by moonlight streaming through the open balcony, was empty and without sign of you.

Then she heard the sobbing.

It was coming from the bedroom. And all of the sudden, Alex was overcome by worry. Steps uneasy, she finally arrived at the bathroom, the door creaking slightly as it opened. Tentatively, she poked her head inside before her gaze landed on your form crouched and hanging in front of the toilet bowl.

"Alex.." you cried out, gagging mid sentence and swallowing thickly. "My stomach hurts.." you muttered, tensing up as a nasty wave of nausea worked it´s way up. Your stomach dropped, saliva forming in your mouth. You could feel yourself shaking uncontrollably, your thoughts racing.

"I know it´s hard but you need to let it out. It will make you feel better."

"I can´t do this." you shook your head, closing your eyes as tears began to spill down your face, dripping onto his hand. Your head was hanging over the toilet bowl, knowing that it was ready to come out.

But you weren´t ready at all.

The shaking and crying of you made Alex´s hurt burst and she knelt down behind you. "Yes you can, honey." You swallowed, suppressing a gag and staying completely still. The taste of vomit violated your system but it was okay for you, you hadn´t thrown up yet.

Your breathing became heavy.

"I´m gonna.." With another violent gag, your entire shaking form lurched forward. Vomit splattered into the toilet and you couldn´t help but grimace at the sound of it, coughing and gagging as your stomach finally brought up the product of your suffering.

As you were coughing up mouthfuls of sour tasting vomit, you finally understood why this was happening to you- you suspected it was the fried rice you had yesterday evening from a marketplace that was full of strangely new food you had to try.

You tensed up when you felt Alex beginning to rub your back gently as an act of showing you that she was here for you. "That´s it, well done." she instructed soothingly and felt your body settle under her hand. "I´m so proud of you!"

"Alex.." you gasped, your throat raspy and voice cracking from the acid. "It tastes so horrible."

You fell backwards against her chest and her hands wrapped around your shaking body. Burying your head in her shoulder, you cried bitterly over this experience and the repeated trauma. She, on the other hand, pulled you even tighter, gave you a kiss on the temple and rocked you back and forth in an attempt to calm you down.

"You made it. It's over now, do you hear? I'm there, I'm with you."

#supergirl imagines #supergirl cw #supergirl #supergirl imagine #supergirlimagine #supergirl fanfiction #supergirl fanfic #alex danvers x you #alex danvers imagines #alex danvers imagine #alex danvers x reader #alex danvers #alex danvers x baby danvers #alex danvers x y/n #baby danvers imagines #babydanvers #baby danvers #baby danvers imagine #baby danvers x alex danvers #baby danvers x danvers sisters #baby danvers fanfic #baby danvers fanfiction

[a-nuisance-called-sam]

I'm sick and that's what I'm venting about. Just scroll past it.

I'm sorry that it has to be here but i can't complain anywhere else. I am sick today and I don't know if I should say very sick or mildly sick because I can do almost every fucking thing like I do on a normal day; I can walk and talk and stay awake without headaches and everything except for eating and drinking. Like just eating everyday foods and drinking normal water is impossible because the moment I eat or drink something I am puking it all out. I woke up early since I had to come to my cousin's house and I puked then, none of the solid food from yesterday can out. Then I decided to rest a little once more and then when I woke up an hour later, I puked again! I got ready and came to my cousin sister's house, I told her my stomach wasn't right today so I had plain rice with dal and I couldn't even finish it before I threw it all up. Same thing happened at dinner and now when it's so late at night I drank some water and I threw up again two seperate times. Even the medicine I took won't say long enough to do any work. And it's so frustrating that we can't even guess what is causing this to happen. I have no pain in any part of my body and nothing wrong with me. This is happening for the first time to me so I have no clue about what's wrong. I will be taken to a doctor tomorrow but until then I won't be able to even drink water which is hard when I'm already so thirsty. I want to sleep too but I'm having really vivid dreams which is tiring me out. And I only dream like that when I'm unwell so I guess my subconscious mind is more aware of the situation than my conscious mind.

#im unwell and its fucking tiring

[crewman-penelope]

From one botanist to another - Part 7

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7 Proper Breakfast

There was fresh made bread, still warm, for you. Milky, creamy butter. A honeycomb in a bowl, surely fresh harvest from the bee hives.

And - tea.

Dry tea leaves, in different shades of green and red. You could made out verbene and lemon balm, as also the sight of dried chamomile heads.

The smell gave you an idea of peppermint also. He poured you a cup in an elegant gesture, alas still focused. Your host calculated every of his own body movements. You wondered what it was, until your eyes felt on the knots on his knuckles and the swollen wrists.

You threw him a look and wondered if he would mind your asking. He seemed to be sick. This was more then scars on his skin by an accident. You decided to let him tell you in time and just went with the flow.

Morningstar filled his cup from the same pot and gestured to your tea.

“It is not poisoned. Neither drugged.”, he assured you with a warm smile. To give you reason he lifted his cup and sipped his tea.

“I apologize for drugging you yesterday night. I felt it was necessary after the quite exciting event of your kitnapping. It was not my intention to frighten you, though.”

His voice was calm and apologizing. You looked at the hot beverage, remembering the shock of seeing your surveillance camera pic on your monitor.

You took the cup of fine china on both hands. The heat warmed your palm. The scent calming you down already. A single, dried bloom of a reddish flower swam on the tea.

You sipped careful. Refreshing as hot, a hint of bitterness on your tongue. You eyed the honey. Morningstar followed your glance.

“Go on. Drink. Eat. Get your head straight. And then we talk, Lupine.”

His normally serene tone of voice was cheerful. Something lifted from your heart. Facing him, you could not hide a smile. You reached for a spoon and spiced your tea up with a bit of honey. Morningstar nodded pleased and reached out for a bowl to lift the cover. Steaming white rice in a kind of milky mush appeared underneath it.

“You have a special died?”

He nodded and hold one of his hands up. “Gout.”

It was only one word, but it explained everything. Well, nearly.

And he is used to it, you thought to yourself but dared not to speak up. Instead you honoured the breakfast.

The butter melted on the warm bread, what was cutted in thick sliced because it was so fresh. The honey tasted like heaven. Ambrosia.

A second cup, a second slice, thick covered with honey. Morningstar savoured his rice dish in pleased silence. It was fascinating to watch him eat the rice with chopsticks. He seemed to be used to it.

So was his accent, sounding exotic on your ear, perhaps an asian? You had thought european, maybe eastern. But you were no expert in it. You knew nothing of him.

Eventually the bowl of rice was finished, and you full of bread.

“That was absolut delicious!”, you said, what made him grin.

“I'm glad. You can order different meals also. The kitchen is ordered to fulfill all your wishes.”

You rose your eyebrows. “That sound like I'm staying longer?”

“You will.” Morningstar's voice still cheerful it laid an dark tone under it. “I have plans for you.”

You eyed him suspicious. “What plans? Did you not just planned dinner?”

“And yet you stayed for breakfast.”, he jested grimly.

“I had no other chance, did I?”

“No. You did not.” He paused and avoided your eyes, as he searched for the right words.

“There was something happening. At our first meeting.”, he spoke hesitating. “I - let me be honest, Lupine.”

Morningstar looked on the table, clearly pulling himself together.

“I enjoyed our chats the moment it started.”, he began. “To meet someone, even online, with the same special interests, someone who knew what I am speaking about. And the Cafe? It was years that I spoke of my father, of his garden. But with you I felt save enough to do so. And then - - we just chatted. Greeting us good morning. Good night. I could not bare it. I wanted this. Always. Every day. To greet you good morning. To have you around me.”

He stopped suddenly, straighten his back and catched your eyes. “I'm not good in this. To pour my heart out. But I can speak my mind with you. I feel that.”

It was silent for a moment, as you starred at him. Your face burning.

Before the silence between you both became uncomfortable, you spoke up.

“I dreamed of your garden, even that I had not seen it. I knew your flowers - at least part of it. The one you brought before me. The seetlings. And then I saw you this morning between your plants. It was a dreamy scene for sure. It was like I had imagined.”

Morningstar bend suddenly over the table. “So you did understand!?”

“ I understand there could be a place here. I - I don't know - yet! - if there a a place at your side.” Your mind dizzy from his confession you cleared your throat. “Morningstar. I don't know you. Let me.”

He looked at you with wide open eyes, as if you are something incredibly. And you are to him.

Slowly he reached for your hand to take it carefully in his. You dared not to squeeze it.

He managed to use his thumb to care along your palm.

“That is all I hoped for. Thank you, Lupine.”

Taglist: @lokis-tardis-companion19 @infinitegalahad @koshi-sama @daughterofthesilmaril @cynic-station @ladyl0wkey @elliotmalek @ellen-the-wise @villainworshiper @cuckoo-on-a-string

#safin sunday #From one botanist to another #From one botanist to another 7 #lyutsifer safin x reader #Lyutsifer Safin x you #Lyutsifer Safin fanfiction #Lyutsifer Safin imagination #James bond Fandom #Rami malek Fandom #MI6 #Botanist #Doctor Lyutsifer Safin

[emetogirl]

Saw your post about wanting to hear other people's emeto experiences and I'm going through one right now so thought I'd share. I've posted a few bits and pieces as they happened over on my blog, but I'll combine them all into one post for ya.

On Friday at work, I noticed that the co-worker I share an office with kept excusing herself to go to the bathroom. And then I knew something was really up when she didn't eat anything at lunch (we had a potluck). I confronted her about it and she admitted that she had been feeling nauseated all morning, but she hadn't thrown up. She looked exhausted and I encouraged her to go home; there had been a bug going around work and it was likely she caught it.

She left and I went on about my day. Later that night, right before I went to bed, she texted me saying she'd finally thrown up. And me, being a bit of a emetophobe in real life, immediately started feeling sick too. I tried to tell myself it was all in my head and went to sleep.

When I woke up yesterday morning I felt "off." Just kind of achy and I had no appetite. My stomach didn't really hurt, but it felt like a pit of looming dread. I usually wake up really hungry, so not having an appetite concerned me. I forced myself to drink some water and continued nursing my water bottle to stay hydrated throughout the day. I really wanted to believe it was all in my head, but deep down I knew that it wasn't.

I also had an appointment to get my taxes done yesterday afternoon and that one little errand exhausted me. I took my temp when I got home because I was shivery and still really achy. My temp was a pretty low-grade fever (100.8) but it was definitely enough to make me feel blah. My stomach had also become really uncomfortable at this point, but I hadn't eaten anything all day so I wondered it was just hunger. I heated up some chicken noodle soup, ate a small bowl, and then went to sleep around 8 pm, hoping I'd be able to sleep it off.

A little after 2 am I woke up sweating like crazy and just knew I was going to throw up. I bolted out of bed and made it to the toilet just in time. I didn't even have time to freak out about it because it happened so fast. My anxiety skyrocketed after the fact, though, because I didn't want it to happen again but I still felt so bad and knew that it was probably inevitable. I was dizzy and seeing spots and felt so weak.

I stayed on my bathroom floor for about an hour just fighting the nausea until my stomach calmed down a little. Eventually I decided it was safe to drag myself back to bed with a trashcan nearby. I curled up in a ball to take some pressure off my stomach and ended up falling back asleep.

Woke up three hours later to a mouthful of saliva and grabbed my trashcan to throw up again. Emptied my stomach in three more liquidy waves.

I feel soooo much better after the second bout. I still have some lingering nausea but I don't feel as weak and foggy anymore. I had some water an hour ago that has stayed down and later I'll try some Liquid IV. Probably won't attempt food until tomorrow. My coworker said she only threw up a couple of times so I'm hoping I'm over the worst of it and it's smooth sailing from here.

Trying not to read too much into the fact that I caught a stomach bug the same week I started posting emeto content again haha.

Okay, first of all, Maddie, I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON THIS SUCKS SO MUCH!!! So many of us that are into emeto also experience emetophobia, and I’m probably one of the odd one’s out being someone that doesn’t. When you feel ready for food I always tell people it’s best to start out with the BRAT diet- banana’s, rice, applesauce, and toast! Usually sick tummies will tolerate those foods better than, like, a whole ass steak dinner😂

But worries aside, this was an epic story nonetheless and I can’t wait to read your post about it!

#emeto #emetophilia #irl sick #vomit tw #emeto tw

[onyourhyuck]

Wicked Fox and His Master. | K.JW PART 1.

Synopsis;;• Hanuel got herself into trouble with a gang of debtors. But an opportunity arises where she gets saved, only if she seals a deal that will potentially change her entire life.

Genre;;• Gumino!jungwoo, Humanoc!hanuel, smut, romance, master-servant relationship but nothing toxic. Fluff. Angst.

─────────────────

It is not easy living as Song Hanuel. At the age of sixteen left alone, mother ran away with her boyfriend she had an affair with behind her husband. Father ran away after his gambling addiction caused massive debts, so he left to avoid them. Leaving the burden onto Hanuel, his one and only child and daughter.

Furthermore, Hanuel works maximum six jobs a day, all part time occupations but nevertheless it’s tiring and it gets the job done to have food and pay rent. Even though she is behind this month and last month rent.

She sighs as she trails down the slums of the neighbourhood in gangnam. Hanuel’s maroon fiery red hair blew past the heavy September wind, the glimpse of winter rushing in past the fall season. The white skin blushing cheeks due to the unbelievable cold today, Hanuel makes it up those stone stairway where it leads her upstairs to the front door.

On the way, Hanuel midway stops once she was met with the debtors at the door. Scowling the moment they met her eyesight, the girl shoves through. Purposely bumping shoulders with the gangsters, they aren’t collectors whatsoever. The minimum civil thing they do is introduce themselves.

The debtor sighs. He wore a black blazer and white tee shirt, slicked back black hair and a round apple body shape with a stomach hanging. “Wah, did you just shove past without greeting us?”

He was met with Hanuel unlocking the door, staying silent and opening the door. The wind blew them on the face as she shuts the door roughly, locking it once more. He laughs out loud in disbelief. “This rude punk, we have been too kind of you!”

“I mean we spared you because your stupid father gambled the money he got from us. But now you’re being rude to us after our kind gestures!” A rough bang on the door hits the surface, vibrating in Hanuel’s body as she was standing next to the wooden door with a mere simple old rusty lock.

Hanuel closes eyes sighing, sliding down the door as she curls into a ball where the long slim knees touch the chest, arms digging themselves around the legs twirling upwards. Head resting on the knee calf, the mind trying it’s best to block out the aggressive hits on the door and yelling outside.

She has had a long day today. Work was unbelievably cramped today, who knew supermarkets are extremely busy on a Friday? As well as the restaurant down the road, she also had a part time job cleaning the company bathrooms and windows.

“Come on Hanuel, pick yourself up..” She tells herself as a way of encouraging, because no one will be there to do it for her. The parents abandoned their only child. Hanuel has no time for friends either. The same routine and schedule all these years. Wake up early for work, don’t have breakfast, come back home, see debtors, go have dinner and sleep.

She was sick of it. Don’t get her wrong, Hanuel wants to live as someone else for a day. Maybe forever. But that won’t be possible.

Empty boxes throw themselves on the ground as Hanuel rummages like a raccoon looking for food. She stops midway cursing, “goddamit, did I finish the last ramen packets yesterday?” Hanuel sighs out, turning her back around picking up the brown boxes, putting them one by one on top of each other in the corner.

Looks like a grocery stop has to be made.

Hanuel looks inside the purse finding enough cash to buy two stacks of ramen at least with a bit of rice too. The young woman takes the white hoodie, she was in shorts but it’ll be a quick come back home trip so it doesn’t matter if it’s cold outside.

Shutting the door and locking it. Hanuel begins walking down the road to the shops. Where the woman lives, it is quiet and peaceful. The sky was the most interactive thing aside the trees too. The neighbour has a mountain behind them that is nicknamed the Gumino Island; because apparently there were fox spirits durning the joseon era. It’s an old myth every child has been told.

The neighbourhood is known for poverty, so it’s not essentially popular amongst other places like Seoul. It had flats and apartments for people in debt, houses that are old and traditional. Small shops around the corner to buy whatever you need. Lots of gangs reside in these areas due to how isolated it is. The nearest police station is thirty minutes away by bus. And the nearest hospital is even further away than the police station.

Lots of stray cats happen to wander these streets too, perhaps it’s because of the rat population..?

Hanuel arriving in the shop, she was greeted by the owner warmly. She shown no reaction but an apathetic bow with the head.

The girl looking about with a red shopping basket in one hand, Hanuel picks up two ramen packets and then some rice. She hums out standing in the short line to pay.

The old woman leaves after she has paid and Hanuel puts the basket down for the cashier keeper man. He smiled at Hanuel. “Welcome, would you like a bag?” He would ask and Hanuel looks up at him with a nod.

“Yes please.” Hanuel said, watching him pack the three food items in the white bag. She couldn’t help but think it was obvious if she wants a bag. I mean she wouldn’t be able to carry two heavy packs of ramen and a heavy bag of rice all together on her head would she?

The man was kind though. He seemed younger than her, or maybe it’s because he’s kinda cute. Innocent and youthful. Hanuel however couldn’t return the kind smile he’s shown her and just takes the bag without anything more to say.

The boy at the cashier tilts his head murmuring. “She’s so cold, ouch.”

Returning on the way home, Hanuel notices the beautiful purple night starry sky, exposing the beautiful universe and the moon. She smiles as she carries the heavy bag of food.

It is a beautiful night.

The admiring was interrupted when Hanuel bumps into a rough surface, stumbling back. Luckily she caught her balance, Hanuel looking up in an upsetting shock. “Oh it’s you.” Hanuel states blandly.

What a shame. Hanuel thought.

“You’re still not greeting me?” The round shaped man spat out. Lifting you the sleeves of his blazer. “I think your parents absence left you with no manners. Let me teach you some discipline.”

Hanuel would be grabbed forward by the hoodie collar, dragged on the ground. The plastic bag following on the rocky ground, dropping the two packets of ramen rolling down the mini hill, Hanuel seeing a large hand running down the wind.

A stinging burning pain on her face surfacing, a handprint on her left cheek. The guy saw Hanuel fall to the ground where she was about to get up, but he was quicker to put a foot on her face, squishing the girl down to stay on the floor.

He sadistically cackled. “Now let’s talk business. Where is the money?” He trails as he watches Hanuel struggle in the hold where his foot is heavily pressing on the cheek.

“Come on speak, or did you forget how to?” The man threw in, lifting his foot from the face and then proceeding to grab a handful of red hair, pulling the girl’s face up to face him as he crouch’s down to her eye level.

Hanuel laughs out and then carries large amounts of saliva, spitting it right into the man’s eyes and face. “Up your ass.” Hanuel jeers. He scrunched the eyebrows and eyes, he drops Hanuel’s face and chuckles. “Brat.” He croaks out, wiping the face as he stands up turning to the three men behind him.

Signalling them by a nod, the three men rush in to harass, beat up Hanuel. To do anything worse in mind to the woman that tested their bosses patience.

To Hanuel no matter how much she gets beat up, harassed to a pulp or almost killed on the verge of meeting death. She won’t ever give in to them. The gambling debt has nothing to do with her. Not even ties to her father. The only connection they have is blood, but blood isn’t thicker than water to her. If it was, he wouldn’t of left her with his mess.

So if she’s getting beating in middle of street, if she’s bleeding and dying out. It’s okay. Hanuel has survived worse.

She knows no one will come and save her too. Hanuel is her own hero.

A deep voice merges through the right side, catching everyone’s attention when a bolting lighting almost brought their bodies to turn to the direction it came from. What was that yellow bolt of light? Lighting? There wasn’t a storm though.

The three men and their boss were too busy watching where the voice came from. Who was around there? Perhaps a police officer? If so their first reaction is to dip and leave immediately.

Hanuel coughs out blood as she holds the sore stomach and bruised face. The eyes tremble to look up, where Hanuel was the first to see a silhouette black figure; who was that?

It had ears representing a fox, a large tail.. no, more than one tail. Hanuel wonders if she was imagining things because she’s dying, at least it feels like she is. The subconscious was heavy tolling onto her, those eyes were about to shut down. — but then two unfamiliar hands brought Hanuel to tiredly look up at the man who picks her up.

He wasn’t a man. But a fox. The long dark hair man with skin as pale as snow, eyes as sharp as a triangle, a glare as dangerous of a predator; The figure wielding nine tails behind him, with twisting fox ears in the colour brown matching with the tail.

Am I dreaming, Hanuel trails in her empty lonely mind.

The man looks down at the girl, a gentle foxy mischievous smirk longing on her lips. “I shall help you, do you want my help?” He wears a tone those from joseon era, it was a magically old ancient language to hear it in person felt surreal. The man wears a kimono with a navy blue and white. A katana sword sear on the side sheathed.

No one knows why Hanuel replied, took even the chance of believing him. But right before she has passed away, Hanuel nods with confidence, gripping tightly on the Kimino’s chest area. “Save me.” She states out. He smirks at the eagerness, leaning down.

Now to seal the deal. Jungwoo gentle presses the lips onto hers, softly and nothing extra. A simple kiss to seal the deal, a yellow light engulfing them both from the debtors sight who were in shock and now blinded. The gangster men unsure what to do. If they shall run away, or fight the man.

But for Hanuel, she saw black the moment those lips touched hers.

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@onyourhyuck please refer from copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank you!

Masterlist Of The Wicked Fox And His Master.

The Timetable of my schedule Posting—>

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#nct fanfiction #nct smut #nct x reader #nct series #nct u scenarios #nct jungwoo #jungwoo smut #jungwoo fanfic #nct 127 smut #nct fic #nct scenarios #kpop scenarios #The wicked fox and his master

[lovedrunkheadcanons]

Chapter Contents

(Arranged Marriage Fic) Read on Ao3

Rated M

That night, Hannah dreamed she was drowning in a sea of red. Twenty-six little hands pulling her down, down, down, far below the surface until her lungs gave out and she woke up, heart racing, throat dry, clutching her chest to feel it was still beating. A dream, thank God it was only a dream, she thought. But the crinkling of tatami startled her anew and she froze to catch sight of a dark, slender figure gliding across the walls, silhouetted by the amber glow of the lanterns left burning in the hallway. She watched it stumble over a few times, curse under its breath, then emit a sickly groan followed by a cough. She heard the neighboring shoji slide open and close with a “twack,” then the dragging of footsteps, and then finally silence.

Hannah sat there in the dim, attempting to quell her frantically beating heart. She’d made the connection.

Satoru was home from his mission.

As a consequence, the young wife had trouble going back to sleep, tossing and turning on the floor till colorless sunlight filtered through the paper walls. Come morning, Hannah waited for the sound of his footsteps to head their way over to breakfast, but her ears only caught early birdsong and the clattering of dishes. The smell of grilled fish and sesame oil permeated the air. Makoto said breakfast would be ready around eight. It was already a quarter past. Her stomach growling, Hannah rose from her futon to get dressed, opting to wear her old blouse and jeans that were hidden at the bottom of a drawer. She hardly made a dent in her new closet yesterday; trying things on, walking in them, sorting clothes in either a “keep” or “storage” pile. It was a bit ridiculous really. All of them, even the simple frocks, felt too impractical for ordinary life, minus the heels and jewels. Once fully clothed in her usual attire, Hannah plaited a top layer of hair, leaving the remainder to drape down her shoulders, and wordlessly peeped behind her bedroom door, anticipating at any given moment for her obnoxiously handsome neighbor to emerge from the other side. Again, nothing. Perhaps he was already eating without her. Hoping this were true, Hannah parted her door and followed the tantalizing scent of grilled foods to a parlor where Makoto was busy setting fine China on a table. Her kimono was a rejuvenating key-lime green.

“Ohayo, Hannah-sama,” she greeted warmly, placing a pair of chopsticks on the chabudai. “Please, do sit down. I was just about to serve the beef.”

Rubbing the vestiges of sleep from her eyes, Hannah whispered her own “good morning” and knelt at the table.  

“Orange juice?” Makoto held a pitcher of the succulent drink.

“Yes, thank you,” Hannah said with a smile, and separated the lid from a steaming rice bowl, tilting it just a smidge so the excess water didn’t drip off the rim. Makoto poured her a cup of orange juice and disappeared to bring the meat as promised, while Hannah uncovered one dish after the other. Looking at the meal, one would think the housekeeper was trying to outdo herself. Last night’s dinner had been nothing short of delicious; fresh edamame, duck gyoza, and black cod served with miso-yuzu sauce and a slice of raspberry cheesecake for dessert. But for breakfast it was soft-boiled eggs and grilled sweetfish peppered with sansho, along with white rice and cutlets of roast beef. One thing was certain. Makoto’s cooking put the master chefs at Wasserton to shame. Crazy to think Satoru got to eat like this every day.

Speaking of which, he had yet to show. The other side of the table was vacant. 

“Is Satoru not joining us?” Hannah asked.

Makoto’s face suddenly turned grey as she placed the beef tenderloin on the table. “The young master isn’t feeling well this morning.”

“Really?” Hannah blinked, wide awake now. “He’s sick?”

“No, not exactly,” the housekeeper brought a hand to her temple, “It’s migraines, ma’am. Nasty ones. Sometimes they confine him to his bed for a few hours or more.”

“I see,” Hannah replied, turning over her shoulder to peer down the hallway. “Will he be alright?”

“Hmm?” The housekeeper looked up from a teapot. “Oh yes, ma’am. He’ll make a complete recovery. It’s just...” She removed the steeped tea leaves from the pot and wrung her hands together. “Well, as luck would have it, I forgot to buy Bufferin tablets last week,” her cheeks grew red, “there the only thing that helps with the pain, but I hate to leave the young master unattended in case anything were to happen, so…” She was trying to ask for something but was uncomfortable saying it out loud. Hannnah voiced it for her.

“I could watch him for you.”

“What?” She shook her head vehemently, wishing she hadn’t implied anything. “Oh, no, ma’am. I couldn’t possibly expect you to do that.”

“It wouldn’t be for very long.”

“No, no, no, ma’am. You’re the lady of the house. I simply couldn’t.”

This polite banter went on for another two minutes, Hannah offering her services, Makoto kindly refusing them, but the mistress eventually put her foot down and said very plainly, “I’m his wife, aren’t I?” and that was the end of it.

When breakfast was finished and dishes washed, Makoto departed for the pharmacy, while Hannah went into the kitchens in search of a small bowl, a tray, and a wash rag. Finding everything rather quickly, she filled the bowl with cool water and folded the cloth in half on the tray. Amidst her pillorying, she stumbled upon Makoto’s spice cabinet; cinnamon, saffron, thyme, and countless other seasonings meticulously labeled on glass bottles. A mauve colored spice seized her attention immediately next to the oregano. Aha, there you are. She happily took the jar and poured a tablespoon into an empty tea sachet, tightening the drawstring so it would hold. She gave it a light sniff; The perfect amount.

Adding the bag to her loot, she wiped her hands on her jeans and with a silent prayer lifted the silver platter off the countertop and walked down the hall towards Satoru’s bedroom. The distance felt like a mile. Quietly as possible, she placed the tray on the straw matting and rapped her knuckles on his door three times.

“What is it?” came a groggy voice.

Hannah took a deep breath.

“It’s me,” she bit her lip, afraid of saying the wrong thing. “Can I come in?”

There was a pause before she received an answer.

“Enter,” the voice said.

Hannah slid open the shoji and picked up the tray, noticing her ears pop as she walked through. Must have something to do with the incantation Makoto mentioned yesterday, she thought. His room was sealed in the same magic.

The layout was similar to hers, clean and sparse, not too many furnishings, but rather than purple paulownia trees, the bedroom walls were forested in green pines and sloping mountainscapes with quaint Buddhist temples tucked away in the clouds; a heavenly realm. However, the cardboard cutouts of voluptuous bikini models, winking and blowing invisible kisses, distracted from this sacred space. Apparently marriage hadn’t encouraged Satoru to get rid of them. A bit flustered at never having ventured inside a man’s bedroom, Hannah’s eyes sought the wide screen TV hooked to a gaming console, and two large bookshelves stored with volumes of manga she would later learn were Fullmetal Alchemist and One Piece (and strangely enough, C’mon Digimon), plus gobs and gobs of movies and video games. And then finally there was Satoru himself, looking worse for wear on a lone king-sized mattress.

He craned his neck. “Where’s Makoto?”

Hannah balanced the tray, ignoring the fact that he was likely shirtless underneath those bedsheets. “She left to fetch you some medicine.” Her eyes scanned the room for a spot. “Is it alright if I set this down?

Noticing the tray, Satoru draped a bare arm over his eyes and lazily motioned with his other hand for her to come closer. Hannah approached and situated the tray on the nightstand. The Six Eyes wielder expected her at that point to say her goodbyes and leave. Instead his ears detected the sound of water being squeezed from a washcloth. His side of the bed dipped. He raised his elbow to see Hannah sitting on the edge of the mattress, holding out the wet rag for him.

“May I?”

He wanted to tell her to get out, that he didn’t need to be babied, but his head throbbed as though shrapnel was lodged somewhere deep inside his cerebellum and eye sockets, hitting a jackpot of nerves. The mission had been successful, a semi-grade 1 Curse reported in Daisen, but he’d gone a full 72 hours without sufficient rest and was now paying the price. His eyes ached like sore muscles. Everything was too fucking bright, too colorful. And his stomach. His stomach felt worse than it’d been in years, like someone had sawed it in half. So without further protest, Satoru’s elbow fell to his side, granting Hannah silent permission to press the damp cloth to his forehead. Then he felt fingers comb through his hair and immediately jerked away.

“What're you — ”

“Where does it hurt most?” she said gently.

The newlyweds stared into each other for a tense moment, turquoise blue colliding with moss brown. One more, she had him in a corner. He accepted defeat.

“At the back, around my neck.”

Carefully and stealthily, Hannah wedged her dainty fingers between the pillow to cradle his aching skull and began working circles into the skin, massaging the area where his neck and head connected. He closed his eyes and exhaled an alleviated sigh, her hands brushing back his hair. If he were a cat, surely he’d be purring like a kitten right then.

“It’s the Six Eyes, isn’t it?” he heard her say as she stroked. “That’s what causes them?”

Blood warmed his cheeks. “Yeah.”

“Are they always this bad?”

“No.” He tipped his head so she could get the left side. “Haven’t been for a while.”

Hannah nodded in understanding. His hair was pleasantly soft to touch. “I get headaches too,” she said. “On days when I don’t get enough sleep.” He let out a grunt, keeping his eyes closed. She reached for the sachet on the tray. “Here, try this.”

He opened one eye. “What is it? Another olive twig?”

She smiled. Almost got her to laugh.

Almost.

“Not quite. It’s lavender. If you hold it to your nose, it can help relieve headaches.” He gave the bag a whiff, dubious of the claim. Satoru liked incense, but wasn’t fond of essential oils or aromatherapy, believing the fad a hoax. Although, the throbbing dissipated somewhat as he breathed in the lavender. She continued massaging his head. “I need to thank you again,” she added, feeling her way towards the edges of his scalp. “For the clothes, the room, everything. Your home is beautiful.”

Satoru couldn’t help but snort. “You mean it’s old,” He brought the lavender to his chest. “There’s no air conditioning or furnace. It gets hot as hell come August, and in winter it’s fucking freezing.”

Hannah’s fingers reached his neck. “I can imagine.”

Her smile made the pulsing abade. She was nice to look at. However, just as she removed the wet compress to dip and resoak it, the throbbing nerves came back with avengement, twisting and clamping around him like iron jaws, closing tighter and tighter, until he registered a sharp, shooting pain emanating behind his retinas and a flash of white. He hissed loudly, feeling the jaws sink into his teeth, his neck, on his shoulders. The contents in his stomach lurched and Satoru abruptly sat upright, hand over mouth, alarm in his eyes. Fuckin’ hell.

Hannah saw he was scrambling for a basin at the foot of the bed, but it was too far away for him to reach. He wasn’t going to make it. Quickly, she sprung into action and seized the bowl, holding it in front of him as he forfeited whatever little food he ate that morning and possibly last night. She rested him on his side, making it easier for him to vomit and hold the porcelain at the same time.

“Shh, you’re alright,” she soothed, leaning beside him and rubbing his upper back. “Easy now.”

Satoru groaned and spat into the bowl, conscientious of the fact that he hadn’t showered since his return. She was too close. He probably wreaked of sweat and Curse fodder. Acid burned the back of his throat, coating his breath. The nausea lingered in his stomach. He felt like complete and utter shit. Weak. Pathetic. Perhaps this was fate demanding retribution.

Sorcerers like to convince themselves that because they're gifted, it means they’re invincible, and certainly Satoru had bought into the lie a couple times; The first wielder born with the Six Eyes in 400 years, able to pulverize his enemies with the flick of a finger, but Satoru wasn’t blind to power. Deep down he knew the truth. He was human, not a god. And never had he felt more human than lying on that bed, puking his guts out.    

He shut his eyes, waiting for the nausea to pass, and was gently eased into the mattress. The damp cloth was placed on his forehead and he cranked an eye open to see Hannah rise from the bed, “I’ll be right back,” she said and walked out of the room with the basin in her arms. Satoru wasn’t sure how much time elapsed, but when she reentered she was carrying the (clean) basin, along with a glass of fresh water, some stomach tablets, and a new washcloth. Leaving the shoji ajar, she returned to his bedside and offered him the water and tablets. “Would you like to brush your teeth or anything?” He shook his head no, and didn’t fight her when she began wiping his mouth. It then occurred to him that she’s done this before. She had sat at someone else’s side, wiping vomit off their lips, handing out water and medicine, but where? How? Who?

He felt ill again, though not from the headache. Here he was, sick as a dog, fantasizing about all the different ways he wanted to fuck her the other night and not once taking into account her feelings, caring only about his ulterior motives, his desires, his burdens. Satoru told himself she wasn’t a prisoner, that he just wanted the teaching job, but now the birds were coming home to roost and so too were the weight of his actions. Hannah wasn’t merely innocent. She was also a genuinely good person and he, a selfish person, had trapped her here like a helpless animal with no way out. For a lump sum of four billion yen. He wanted to hide his face, but couldn’t. She was too close.

Hannah wore her hair half-down. Six Eyes could distinguish between the gold, brown, and red strands fanned across her shoulders, lush and shiny, a natural curl accentuating the ends. It helped capture her foreign features; the minuscule freckles dotting her nose. Her Cupid’s bow mouth and fair cheeks, flushing prettily in the light. Man, she was gorgeous. What was the phrase they used in her home country again? Ah, yes, an “English rose.” That’s it. She was an English rose. Satoru had to remind himself to keep his eyes fixated elsewhere, otherwise he’d have “bigger” things to worry about. Fabric was the easiest to see through and she was literally sitting over him, her chest front and center. Could’ve also been the mind splitting headache, or the fact she just spared Makoto the trouble of having to clean vomit off his bedsheets, but he chose that moment to extend his own olive branch. She deserved that much.

“I’m sorry,” he croaked, wincing in pain from the sound of his voice. “I know you must think I’m an asshole. Probably makes you regret changing your name and stuff, huh?”

Her hand returned to his head. “Shh, don’t speak. Talking will only make it worse.”

“It’s okay,” He ignored her advice. “You can hate me if you want. I won’t blame you. After all, it’s my fault for getting you involved in this Ponzi scheme. If I could do things over again, know that I would.”

The English rose tilted her head sideways. “I wouldn’t necessarily call it a Ponzi scheme,” she whispered, corners of her mouth twitching. “In fact, from a purely objective standpoint, I’d say I’ve made quite the return on investment.”

Satoru scowled at the joke. “Except for your freedom, which I’ve single handedly stolen from you.”

Hannah shared with him a broken smile. It was his turn to be naive. “You can’t steal something that was never there, Satoru,” she said poignantly. “Accidents like me aren't meant to have freedom.” She pulled the covers up over him. “Now, get some rest. Makoto will be back soon with the Bufferin.”

“But I —“

“Shh.” Her fingers ran through his gossamer hair, enticing him to close his eyes. “Go to sleep, Satoru.”

She sat there with him, massaging his head until his eyelids drooped and his steady breathing lulled into soft snores, out like a light. He must’ve been exhausted. After checking to see he was asleep, Hannah gathered the tray and whatever else she brought and quietly left the world’s strongest sorcerer to dream. He would not wake for the remainder of the day.

Chapter Contents

#jjk fluff #gojo x oc #jjk fanfic #gojo fluff #gojo satoru #jjk #fluff #Jujutsu Kaisen #gojou satoru x you #gojo x reader #Gojo Takes a Wife #jjk gojo #satoru gojo #six eyes

[pumpkin-spice-whump]

Misery

CWs: bbu, ocd, anxiety, references to noncon, brief suicide ideation, forced to self harm, all hurt no comfort, intrusive thoughts, harm ocd, blood

Masterlist

-----------------------------------

Jesse had never been so miserable in his life. It was a hefty statement, with what he had gone through, but it was true.

Mr. Bakeman changed his schedule the day after Jesse’s … incident. Apparently he had been away by choice all that time, but now there was nothing making him want to leave. He worked a regular 9 - 5 and came home every night.

Every. Night.

Jesse closed his eyes and shook his head four times, twisting his collar. He’d washed the same dish going on sixteen times now, but it still didn’t feel right. He soaped it up again to do another four.

Everything was wrong. Jesse being alone, the house being empty, Mr. Bakeman coming home every day. Jesse thought the weird things he did were bad before? It was nothing compared to now. He didn’t cook because he couldn’t stop thinking about cutting or burning himself. He sang the girls’ favorite songs over and over. Yesterday he spent an hour unlocking and locking the front door. He wanted to go outside to go on a walk or something to distract himself but he was terrified that if he did then the girls would get sick. So he stayed in.

He dried the dish for the twentieth time. He wanted to be done but twenty was four divided by five and five was an ugly number. One more batch.

Mr. Bakeman hadn’t really spoken to him since that night, save to ask him when dinner would be ready. Jesse almost wished he would talk to him. He needed something, anything, to distract him from his thoughts. Even in the facility he’d had someone to talk to, to give him orders. Children to hug. He was never… alone. He wasn’t meant to be alone. He was meant to be a companion. He was meant to care for his children he loved and missed so much.

Jesse hissed in pain. His hands were so dry from washing and washing that the skin on his knuckles had split right open. But he was only at twenty three, and that was a very ugly number, so he did one more wash before setting the plate down and carefully drying his hands.

How were his girls? His chest was hot. He needed to know, but there was no way.

The front door opened. 5:23. Jesse had completely lost track of time. Tears burned behind his eyes, but he forced them back.

He heard Mr. Bakeman stomp up the stairs. He knew he was tossing his briefcase aside and changing out of his work clothes into something more casual. Jesse tried to keep listening to know when he was coming downstairs, while also quickly getting something ready for dinner.

What was the new nanny making the girls for dinner? Did she know that Harper hated chicken? And that Eva refused to drink milk unless it was with breakfast?

His stomach hurt.

“Where’s dinner?”

Jesse jumped. Mr. Bakeman was already back down, but he wasn’t in his regular t-shirt and jeans, instead he just changed into different work clothes, albeit more laid back than his usual suit.

“I’m sorry, Master. I haven’t started it yet.” He opened the fridge door and scanned through. There was leftover chili from two nights ago. He knew there was spaghetti noodles in the cupboard. Or he could try to cook up some chicken and rice…

The fridge door slammed shut, making Jesse jump back with the whoosh of cool air. His mind flashed back to the facility and he shook his head to make the thought go away.

“What have you been doing all day, if you haven’t done the one thing I require of you?”

Jesse swallowed. “I… I’m sorry. I got carried away cleaning.”

Mr. Bakeman glared as he rolled his sleeves up past his elbow. “Do not let it happen again.” Jesse nodded and got to work reheating the chili. “I have some colleagues coming over soon. Make yourself available.”

It felt like Jesse’s heart dropped out from his feet. He nodded numbly and closed his eyes as more tears sprung to them.

Jesse tried to calm himself down as he cooked. Maybe it would be one of those good times. Those times where they didn’t hurt him and they really just used him as a servant. It couldn’t be too bad, since it was a Thursday night and they all had work tomorrow. Right? He’d be okay.

“Yeah?”

Jesse spun around, worried he’d talked out loud. Mr. Bakeman glared briefly before focusing again on his phone conversation.

“She is? Did she miss school today? … I see. And Harper and Eva?”

Jesse froze. He must be talking to the nanny. What was her name? Peyton. Oh Jesse’s heart hurt thinking that someone else got to take care of his girls when he wasn’t there. Missing them was something physical, something tangible that he could feel taking him by the neck and strangling the life out of him. His hands shook, the split skin stinging.

“Hmm. Alright. Keep me posted. … She did? … Yeah put her on.”

Jesse forced himself to keep moving, to get a pot and pour the chili in it, reheating it properly. His breath seemed stuck in his throat.

Mr. Bakeman’s voice changed as he spoke. “Hey Abi! … You’re not feeling good?”

Jesse wanted to throw up. He needed to be with them. He needed to hold her, to keep her safe and healthy. He needed to. The tears in his eyes spilled over.

“I’m sorry baby. … I miss you too. Two days, baby. … Yeah. … How are your sisters?”

He wiped away his tears, breath catching in a sob he couldn’t let go. The stovetop sizzled under the pot.

Put your hand on it.

He shook the thought away. Maybe it was for the better they were gone… He thought it but it did nothing to stop him from drowning.

“Awww. Well tell them Daddy loves them. … Okay. … Hmm? Who?”

There was a long pause, and Jesse turned just a bit only to see Mr. Bakeman staring at him with a strange mixture of hate and confusion on his face. He quickly turned back to the stovetop.

“Uh. No, baby. … Because he’s busy.”

Jesse put his hand to his mouth as he sobbed out loud. It echoed through the silent kitchen, raw and ugly.

She asked for him. Abigail asked to talk to him and Mr. Bakeman… refused. Jesse felt that so deeply in his soul he almost wanted to die all over again. He squeezed his eyes shut, gripping the edge of the counter to hold himself steady. Tears streamed down his face and he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop them.

“Yeah. Sorry. … Okay. … I love you too. … I will. Bye.”

The phone clicked on the countertop as he set it down. The chili sizzled on the stove. Jesse gasped for breath as his world continued to crash around him.

“Pet.”

He choked on a sob, forcing it down. He opened his eyes and looked back at his master.

“I need to eat before my colleagues arrive. Get a hold of yourself.”

Mr. Bakeman went back to his phone, clearly done with acknowledging his pet. The words slipped out before Jesse could think to stop them.

“Is she okay?”

His master didn’t even look up.

He swallowed, throat thick with tears, and spoke up again.

“Abigail. Is she alright?”

Mr. Bakeman sighed, glaring. “Stop.”

Jesse wished he could. “Please Master. I need to know. Is she alright?”

“I said stop.”

Jesse shook his head, pain blooming behind his eyes as he disobeyed his owner. But he needed to know. “Please,” he begged, throat thick with tears. “Just tell me if she’s okay. I need to know if they’re all okay, please!”

“Respect!”

Jesse fell to his knees so quickly his mind didn’t even register it until the pain shot up his legs.

He hadn’t had to do his positions in … he didn’t even know how long. The novelty of the thing had worn off on Mr. Bakeman pretty quickly. Jesse was thankful that Mrs. Bakeman never figured them out.

Mr. Bakeman’s loafers clicked as he stepped towards his pet, shaking with his head pressed against the tile. Jesse held his breath, chest seizing in choked back sobs.

“You have the audacity to be upset that you no longer get to see my children?” Jesse whined as one of his loafers pressed down on his neck. Not enough to cut off his air. Just so Jesse knew he could. “Who’s fault is that? There would have been no need for a divorce if you didn’t have to go whoring yourself out.”

Jesse squeezed his eyes shut. The weight on his neck increased a bit.

“You’re the reason my children will grow up in a broken home. If they really meant that much to you then maybe you shouldn’t have torn their family apart.”

He pressed down more. Jesse began to weeze. He wanted to move but knew it would only make the situation worse. Panic, different from what he had been feeling, sparked in his chest.

“You do not deserve – ” more pressure. Jesse gasped through a straw. “ – to speak to my children. You will see them when I do. Until then you will serve me, as you were meant to do.”

I was meant for them, Jesse thought. His eyes opened in a panic as the weight increased even more, cutting off his air completely.

Mr. Bakeman just stood there for a few long seconds, letting Jesse drown in panic. WIthout a word, he lifted his foot and walked away.

The doorbell rang.

-----------------------------------

New people. Only two of them, but still. New people Jesse didn’t know. He didn’t know how to please them, didn’t know their likes or limits or what they did or didn’t want.

It was past the girls’ bedtime. He hoped they were safely in bed. He hoped Abigail would get some sleep, that she was alright. He hoped it was just a 24 hour bug. Strep throat. A cold. And not something like appendicitis or flesh eating disease or leukemia.

He needed her to be okay.

Jesse sang her favorite song in his head, staring into space and trying to breathe through the smoke in the den. He knocked on the wall behind him four times.

Make them be okay, he thought to no one.

Mr. Bakeman and his ‘colleagues’, who’s names Jesse had determined to be Michaelson and TJ, were sitting around the table with alcohol and cigarettes in hand. They didn’t seem to be getting drunk. Just drinking socially.

If you have to drink to be social then you must not be a very sociable person.

Joshua shook his head, groaning so he didn’t accidentally laugh. “Dad –”

Jesse winced, closing his eyes at the flash of pain behind them. By the time he opened them again he’d forgotten what it was that made it happen.

“How’re the kids?” TJ asked.

Mr. Bakeman side-eyed Jesse before answering. “Fine. Heather has them until Saturday morning.”

“You still talk to her?”

MIchaelson chimed in. “I haven’t talked to the witch in charge of my kids since she left. If she has anything to say to me she can tell my secretary.”

“The secretary you’ve been banging in the conference room?”

Michaelson only raised his glass and smiled.

Mr. Bakeman took a drag on his cigarette before answering. “I try not to. It’s not hard since she’s never there. I usually talk to their nanny.”

“I thought that was him.”

The three of them turned and looked at Jesse. He tried to shrink further against the wall.

“He was. But Heather got the kids. I got him.”

Go back to ignoring me. Please.

“I’m glad,” TJ said. “That means we get to have fun.”

Jesse briefly closed his eyes in defeat.

“What did you have in mind?” Michaelson asked.

TJ shrugged. “Nothing in particular. I’ve got this.” Jesse paled when he pulled a knife from his pocket. He spun the thin blade around, gauging Jesse’s reaction. “You mind if we cut him up a little?”

Mr. Bakeman shook his head, taking a drink. “Long as he doesn’t die for now.”

Jesse’s breath picked up.

“He gonna stay still?” Michaelson asked.

Mr. Bakeman reached out an arm for his pet. “C’mere.”

Jesse’s legs moved on their own. He wanted nothing more than to stand in the corner all night long, totally and completely ignored. He should’ve figured he wouldn’t get to have that. He stood awkwardly in front of his master, eyes on the blade next to him.

He gasped in surprise as Mr. Bakeman grabbed his arm and pulled him down onto his lap, holding him flush against his hips.

Jesse’s heart stuttered in his chest. Tears stung his eyes and poured down his cheeks.

Oh please don’t do that please don’t do that PLEASE don’t do that –

Mr. Bakeman pressed Jesse’s right hand flat against the table and pinned down his wrist. He wrapped his other arm around Jesse’s torso, palm heavy over his quick heartbeat.

Sweat slid down Jesse’s forehead, mixing with his terrified tears and stinging his eyes. He didn’t dare close them though, instead training them on the blade that progressively got closer and closer to his hand. He pulled weakly against his master’s grip.

TJ swooped the knife closer and closer to Jesse’s splayed out hand like an airplane. 

It reminded Jesse of how he would feed the infants in the Facility daycare, or how he’d try to get Harper to take her medicine when she was really little. He missed when that was all he did.

The point brushed against his skin and he whimpered out loud.

“What’s this?” TJ asked. He circled the cigarette burn on Jesse’s hand with the blade. “I asked you a question, pet.”

Jesse managed to unclench his jaw. His voice shook. “Cigarette burn.”

“Oh? From dear old Brian here?”

He shook his head. Four times. “No, Sir.”

“Who then?” He removed the knife and Jesse sighed in hesitant relief.

Mr. Bakeman breathed softly against his neck. “The witch did it.”

Jesse screamed, bucking against his master’s grasp as TJ plunged the knife through his hand and into the table. Blood pooled around and under his hand, soaking the dark wood.

The men around him howled in laughter at his pain. Mr. Bakeman stood suddenly, sending Jesse to his knees. He screamed, vision going dark as the sudden movement jostled his hand in the worst way.

“Make him scream again,” Michaelson said. He reached out for the handle, but Mr. Bakeman stopped him.

“No, no. Watch this.” He smiled maliciously, turning toward his shivering, bleeding mess of a pet. “Pet,” he said slowly, “pull out the blade.”

Jesse sobbed, pressing his forehead against the edge of the table. He shook his head. “Master, please… Don’t make me –” 

“I am.” He stood back and folded his arms, taking a drag off his nearly forgotten cigarette. The ash was hanging off nearly an inch long.

If it fell, would that be enough to start a house fire?

“None of us are going to take it out. You could sit there all night long. It’s up to you.”

Bile rose in Jesse’s throat and he was again grateful that he had been too worried to eat all day. The smell of his own blood filled his nostrils and made his stomach flip over and over. Pain radiated in waves from his hand through what felt like his entire body.

He looked at the men through tear filled eyes, trying in vain to plead with them. He was only met with a strange, sickening, cold enthusiasm.

Why does it bring them this much joy to watch someone else in pain?

Jesse braced himself against the table and pushed off his heels. His arm throbbed with

the effort to keep as still as possible. His legs trembled beneath him, so violently that Jesse feared he would collapse and rip his hand through the knife. He focused on not doing that at all costs.

“If you take too long we can always add another…” Michaelson threatened idly.

The excitement on their faces was enough to make him sob.

Jesse took a deep breath and heaved himself to his feet. His eyes went dark again, the thought of ripping his hand flashing through his mind once more. His vision thankfully cleared and he leaned heavily on the table, knees locked.

The men jeered and taunted but Jesse tuned them out. He watched his left hand tentatively wrap around the blade, holding back a scream. Tears poured down his face and he tried one last time to beg the man with his eyes. He didn’t even know why he tried.

Jesse closed his eyes and tore the knife from his hand.

His scream was deafening. He held his injured hand close to his chest, soaking his sweater. There was so much blood. There aren’t any arteries in the hand, right? Could it be possible he hit one anyway? No. Maybe? Oh there was so much blood.

Mr. Bakeman patted him on the shoulder. He knelt next to his pet and whispered in his ear.

“Not too bad for your first time.”

Jesse thought he had never been more miserable. He knew now that it had only been the beginning.

-----------------------------------

Taglist: @mylifeisonthebookshelf @boxboysandotherwhump @hold-him-down @winedark-whump @melancholy-in-the-morning @castielamigos-whump-side-blog

#847481: jesse #bbu #box boy universe #whump #ocd tw #anxiety tw #harm ocd tw #forced to self harm #blood tw #noncon references #brief suicide ideation #intrusive thoughts tw

[audiovisualrecall]

So friends/family gave us food and others are offering to so we don't have to cook etc and I appreciate it but also

Despite all the Thanksgiving food yesterday being stomach-safe apart from the cake (and, yes, the donuts I had at work 2 days in a row), everything was still rich, and I ate too much, and my stomach has been on and off upset/uneasy since last night. The same thing will happen with the food they gave us, bc it's rich, and we have had problems before with similar stuff, and if it tastes good I have no self control bc I don't feel full right away, and mostly normally we eat simple dishes! Simple stir fries where I have a portion of chicken, rice or pasta, and veggies. My stomach can't really tolerate heavy, rich foods very often, and we already have people offering to buy us dinner foodstuffs for the rest of the week, honestly, and I appreciate it but I don't want to be sick all week, okay! And on top of that I pulled a muscle in my side on like Monday or Sunday maybe and it's been getting more painful/difficult to deal with as I worked 7 days in a row, plus I'm still coughing, and I have acid reflux for some reason, and I'm having to lay on my back and not my side like I prefer bc my side feels painful like pinching when I lay on my side, I can't twist and move around and reach for things easily or without pain. And I can't deal with multiple physical discomforts at the same time like this, and mourning my zayde, and I don't want to be a problem abd a bother to my mom, but I'm trying to express something no one is taking seriously! I have a chronic gut related illness! I'm not just being difficult and I can't just cook something else for myself because I AM IN PAIN! I worked 5 or 6 days in a row with this pain yes but I was clearly doing more damage to the muscle and if I want to heal at all I need to not do things that will hurt it, I need to see a doctor probably too, and I just feel like such a problem, like I'm being a baby making everything about me when ma lost her dad, but it's not my fault I'm injured and that my stomach is difficult!!!!!! And I want to cry and I can't even do that without something hurting! I want normal food bc nothing else can be normal rn. And I'd like tp be able to focus on healing and not on my stomach being upset. Like lunch was bagels, lox, and fruit, and my stomach still wasn't happy. And I need to call out from work Sunday at least partly to let my side heal but also bc we don't sit shivvah tonight or tomorrow until shabbos ends so most ppl are coming over on Sunday to sit with us. And I didn't tell work abt my grandfather passing, I just went to work the next day and said nothing to anyone I only told kne friend when he was sick and only told one different friend that he had passed away Tuesday night, so i just feel weird now to mention that hey I might need some time off due to a death in the family.... but also I might need PT for my pulled muscle and I didn't mention THAT to anyone at work really specifically that the injury occurred at work bc it was just so crazy busy and I thought it would get better on its own I guess, and it probably only happened bc I'd had the flu so I'd been coughing for a week and then reached for something too high up at work while twisted slightly and felt a sharp pain in my side... so idk if I should tell them one or the other bc no one would believe me if I tell them both things are reasons for me to be out. Idk. And I'm just upset and tired of ppl thinking I'm annoying for not wanting to upset my stomach by eating things I know will do so, purely bc it's the food that'd available so I should either eat it or make myself something else. Like my point is it's distressing to me rn! Please help me and understand me!

[j-a-smiths-blog]

1000 7Apr24: Chapter 98.

I'm glad I used the time yesterday to write because it was like a turn of events for me. I suddenly felt sick and ran a small fever. I got home, ate a little bit of dinner and then got the chills while sweating a bit... but I laid down and had rough sleep for three or four hours before my wife finally came to bed and then slept decent the remaining part of the night.

Now I am here at the breakfast table. I feel decent but don't want to call it a victory yet. I am drinking coffee and just ate some tocino and rice.

I'm thinking today I should get back to sewing clothing for my figures for the film. I am thinking that keeping my mind set on making the carpenter shop diorama my best build ever should be a primary focus as a lot of the scenes will be focused in there. Also, by making items movable, I can rearrange to shoot a different angle for the dinner scene I mentioned. This will allow me flexibility to really focus on detail for the opening scenes.

During the process of shooting all those scenes for both the kitchen and carpenter shop it will give me time to be able to build the forest scene which is an ultimate goal for film making that brings me back to the core idea. About low light film making at night in the woods. I still feel as though the forest scene might be my hardest scene to pull off, but I think in the end, it would all be worth the hassle and really make the film. Especially if I get in and capture more than just wide shots.

I feel like, due to I was drifting off dreaming of where this story will go, that the reason the Carpenter stops people from entering the woods, is that he is hiding a truth. I have to find a real good turning point but leaving hints along the way will be key. I feel that I should add another dinner scene where the girl again shows interest in wanting to go with her friends, this time to a flower field that is surrounded by the forest. Of course he is angered by this request and forbids her to go.

Later, you see three pairs of feet walking down the path in the woods, and it is revealed that it is two friends and the carpenters daughter. There are noises and a pig grunt followed by a snort and a squeal before the carpenters daughter stops dead in her tracks. The other two friends continue on a few feet and then stop. They turn around and ask what is wrong. The girl explains about the myth of the beast before there's a full on squeal as the carpenters daughter turns to look in the direction to see something moving swiftly through the woods and slams into her friend tossing her into the woods. Scared, the carpenters daughter turns to run back down the trail but is swiftly picked up by her father in one arm and carried away. When they get back to the house, the carpenter makes his daughter sit at the table until her mother returns.

Her mother enters the house, and there is blood on her apron. The daughter asks where the blood is from, to which she receives the reply that she was butchering dinner.

This is when the truth is revealed. The carpenter opens a chest and pulls out a book. He sits down at the table and opens the book.

"Have you heard of the witch in the woods?" It was all a tale until it became not. As a carpenter, I walk the woods to find only the best wood to use. One day, as I came across this beautiful tree and began to size it up, I noticed in the distance a figure in a black cloak. I gripped my axe, for I knew not what the intention was, but I felt a sinister feeling amongst me. As I looked around and then back in the direction, the cloaked figure was gone. I hauled up my axe as I prepared to take a swing on this tree when suddenly there was a demonic voice echoing through the forest as if it were riding the wind. When I pulled forward with my swing, someone or something had a grip on the axe. When I turned to look, the cloaked figure was behind me. I fell to the ground as a voice cast a spell upon me.

The Daughter looks confused as she looks at both her mother and father.

Her mother speaks. I found myself one day wondering the woods. A beautiful flower had caught my eye. I knew I just had to have it. So I walked over to it and plucked it from the earth. As I stood back up, I noticed a few more flowers evenly spread out. So I walked from flower to flower, picking them one by one. It led me to a field of flowers. My heart was so happy, for I had found the most beautiful place on earth. There, in the middle of the flower field, was a cloaked figure. I suddenly could not move. A chant amongst the wind swirled around me.

Both parents look at the daughter as in unison they say they passed out and when they came to they were outside this houses door. Cursed for the rest of their lives. They are forever indebt to the witch of the woods, and for being greedy little pigs, they are to forever roam the forest at night.

If you've read this far, let me know what you think so far.

[alt-pocalypse]

Day 30

Just start expecting posts every other day at this point. Not much happened yesterday which means I can tell you all about today! Wood told us that the horde was very small today. Nyxx looked to check for herself and it turns out that zombies have really dwindled! And you know what that means… WAVE TWO HAS FINALLY DIED DOWN!!!!! I’m so so happy! We cracked open the last Pipeline Punch to celebrate. It was kinda funny to watch Wood waterfall it through their muzzle.

After that we got into the SUV and had a joy ride, hitting several zoms around the way. We knew we needed new canned goods but we all agreed Walmart was a bad idea so we went to one of those stores that you can only get into if you have a membership. None of us had memberships. It was so cool. It seemed like the kind of place the Micheals would have shopped at in the before times. The crazy thing is, no one else was there. I suppose everyone there ran as soon as the alert was issued and few people have come since because of the membership thing. The place was mostly stocked so we got tons and tons of canned goods and nonperishables, not only that but we all got heating pads and hand warmers! The plan is to visit Bats and Beauty again tomorrow to get jackets. We also got some jugs of water because we were running low. It's gonna feel so good to be clean again.

Tonight we had spaghetti with tomato sauce and spam. We were all getting really sick of beans and rice. Tomorrow Wood is gonna make breakfast for all of us. I’m pretty excited because they would make dinner whenever we hung out at their place in the before times and they are an awesome cook! It seems like things are finally looking up.

#alt teens #alternate universe #zombie apocalypse #text post #fictional characters #creative writing #apocalypse #post apocalyptic #the shut in arc is over

[charlieworkz]

I was browsing the tag for Bojack Horseman here on tumblr and i saw a dude saying he bingewatched the show while sick and that's exactly what i did hehe

I had suffered an ugly knee injury, and had to stay on bed for weeks? Months? I don't recall, but it was a long time.

(I remembered I kinda suffered through season 1 lmao it isn't bad, but it is pretty uninteresting imo. But I really wanted to watch it because I wanted to talk about it with my friend, who loves it, and also because I had nothing much to do. Needless to say, I was really glad I persisted.)

I recall my boyfriend (now ex) pm leaving me alone for various days, during those times. We were together for more than 8 years, at that point. He would often sleep at my house for a whole week or something. But when I was bedridden, he pm left me alone in my bed for days. When I called to chat, and asked what he was doing, i would often receive answers like "Nothing. Just chilling."

I didn't really notice at those times.

Only now, I'm reflecting deeply on these things he did.

I also remember at least three occasions my family simply leaving me hungry for almost a whole day on my bed. You see, I had very reduced mobility and walking was very painful and difficult. My room is upstairs, the kitchen, downstairs. They would not bring dinner or breakfast. Mostly, they remembered I had to lunch...

I also remember my older sister being annoyed that she had to bring food for me sometimes. Or annoyed when i would say I was hungry because i was going almost 24h without food, or was eating the rice from yesterday's lunch for dinner and breakfast, for example. She would open the door a bit, shove the plate on a shelf near the door with an angry face and leave. If my then boyfriend wasn't around, I would have to get up and bring the plate myself, to my bed.

It's funny how the show somehow matched perfectly with my life during those times.

Tbh, it still matches.

#charlie speaks #bojack horseman

[dashingwishes]

Oh okay my biases for groups I love: EXO (Baekhyun), SNSD (Taeyeon; my female ult), Red Velvet (Seulgi), Monsta X (honestly I DONT KNOW, choose one for me :) - and Enhypen (Heeseung). Yeah, these are my favorite kpop groups <3

Yes, many turkish foods have meat in them. But the good thing about them is that there‘s also meat-free options like you could just leave out the meat or use cheese instead. But our cuisine is also more than just kebabs or lahmacun. There’s so many vegetarian or even vegan dishes made out of lentils, bulgur or chickpeas. Ahhh it‘s so versatile I wouldn’t know where to start. My family is very considerate of me being a vegetarian. Like my mom or grandma know I wouldn’t eat that one particular food if it wasn’t vegetarian. It‘s not even that I‘m insisting on having food cooked for me. I can handle that myself. But you prolly know how moms or grandmas are. They want to feed you. For instance, they cook mine separately in a different pot without the meat or there’s times they don’t use meat at all. I‘m glad my family is like this. It‘s not necessarily common especially for middle eastern fams. But I like my fam‘s mentality. I‘m very grateful <3

I don’t care when they‘re eating meat in front of me but with fish nah I‘m more sensitive because they‘re my favorite animals. They can eat it - of course, please have what you want - but I don’t like seeing dead fish so I just leave for my room :D but I‘m 100% fine with them eating meat in front of me. I‘m not one of those vegetarians that‘s trying to convince others to be vegetarian themselves or making them feel bad for eating meat. I DO NOT CARE. Eat whatever you want. As long as y‘all don’t bother me, I‘m fine with you eating meat. And we‘re living Germany that means we‘re also having non-turkish foods. There are so many cuisines from all around the world. In supermarkets there are international aisles or there are restaurants, even afghan ones.

Nope, I‘ve never been to the US. But it‘s on my top travel destinations. I want to travel to every country on planet earth, so I‘ve already been to many european countries but only left the continent once when heading to the anatolian or asian side of Istanbul 😂

What about you? I feel like I‘m spamming. It‘s your turn, I‘m listening to your story :D

Great choices! I love Enhypen’s music so much! And Heeseung is my bias as well 💖 & Sunoo & Jake are great too! And for Monsta X I would choose Hyungwon for you ✨

Yes I know like I said Turkish food is my favorite. When I was Istanbul the food was one of the best part of the visit. I know there’s a great selection of vegetarian things too like Dolma which I love so much! And Borek & Bulgur rice as you mention, Salat too everything is good. And I have seen some restaurants serve Hummus as well which I love eating I even bought at Aldi yesterday. Of course I know they always scream out your name saying dinner is ready or making sure you ate something.

I am glad they respect and don’t try to eat meat around you. That is super sweet and thoughtful. You’re super kind for not forcing them saying it wrong to eat animals. I don’t like eating beef these days because it makes me super sick and I throw up. I can’t digest anything it happened because my anxiety and health issues.

We eat other culture food too but as long it is halal you know how it is. Oh my Afghan food have you ever had any before?

Aww I hope you get too see more places. Oh what European country have you been to? Which was your favorite?

Me well I was doing some homework assignment, I clean the house. And I have test I need to study for which I am not ready. & we are invited to a party on Saturday which is exciting. No worries it will take time for me to open up talk more. It’s okay you’re doing fine 💕

#asks #monsta x #hyungwon