#we get it u. hate change and ur insecure

[boxwinebaddie]

will our stan-y pooh ever get to see kyleys notes?

so, i got an ask like this a while back and was going to answer some variant of it earlier, but held off so i could develop the lore a bit more.

because i always knew that stan would eventually be made aware of kyle's letters to him, probably unbeknownst to jerseykyle, but i wasn't sure when i should have that happen or under what circumstances the reveal fall, bc really i didn't want it to feel randomly shoehorned in or feel like a cheap after thought, y'know?

i wanted, nay, needed stan coming across kyle's special stan diary entries & reading his letters, to have a strong significance to the story because the letters are such a large part of r.m. and letters in general/the act of writing a letter is such a personal intimate thing, not just for kyle, but even when other chars write things in the story.

but more on that later...

back to jers & his love letters to his *dead* sbf.

a/n: this is a very long post that you, like all my silly, silly posts, have no obligation to read, but please clap! uncle nina finally wrote an ask meme that she feels very proud of! and if you like long posts, like a very sweet anon told me once upon a time, you might like this!

so without further ado, i hope you heal, rem(ember) to smile, pendejos and of course, my darlings, as always...

please enjoy...

the very worst part of your day. ;)

so with the letters, i feel like it's imperative to note ( haha, see what i did there? ) that they're not all love letters or letters of love to stan. honestly, kyle writes in it nearly every day and actually uses it as more of a daily writing exercise to keep him grounded: a tool he can utilize throughout the day to keep track of thing —especially given that the extent of his ptsd/clozapine stole kyle's eidetic memory.

so actually, a lot of the pages are nonsense, notes he started and never finished…

…grocery lists of things that need to be replaced.

sadly, several of said grocery lists are usually followed by a dream list of grocery itineraries of the ingredients he would buy if he was rich or finally healthy, followed by things like tea and top ramen, things he'd actually eat or, sigh, regurgitate and stare at until they disgust him.

worse over, a lot of these catalogs as finished sad, scribbled journal entries that silently speak to his experiences in grocery stores and how their both like heading to his execution and going to the amusement park. because he's surrounded by all this lovely food so when he's fasting and slowly starving himself, he eats with his eyes.

other times, when the medicine makes him lethargic and light-headed, he lets himself get carried away in a little fantasy, a shameful secret, a silly guilty pleasure where he pretends like he's getting ready to cook a beautiful, delicious dinner for a boy that he loves, someone like stan, and gathers ingredients via a recipe he found online, planning to use some fancy techniques he saw on masterchef to impress his dream boy, feeling the smooth, scalet flesh of the roma tomatoes until he finds just the right ones to put in his shopping cart,

breathing in the soothing, earthy scent of fresh basil, imagining tickling the tip of stan's nose with it playfully when he goes to sniff, the cacophonous, melodious sound of stan's squeaky laugh and the dizzying scent of cinnamon that fills his mouth as stan leans up to kiss him in the produce section, gathering the pine nuts he might need to craft the perfect pesto sauce, imagining feeding the small, spiced, succulent spirals to his stan, who is alive and well, and sighs in elation, smiling that 1000 watt stan marsh smile, his beautiful face flushed from candlelight, a little box wine and a lifetime of love.

...then the sprinklers go off and douse him, splashing him in the face like some kind of rude, watery wake up call, the screech of the grocery cart sounds nothing like stan's laugh and neither does the ugly voice that cracks over the PA system in the store announcing that there is only thirty minutes left before it all goes dark and the check out lanes close. so kyle frantically rushes to buy the things he needs in the real world, where his sweet stanley marsh is dead, with his ashes scattered to the wind, grabbing paper towel rolls and coffee pods and green apples for the pie marjorine wants to bake that kyle will never eat. and after he checks out with a bag full of groceries and an empty stomach that growls at him, reminding him of the monster he's become...

he walks over to the gas station, and purchases a packet of american spirits, the blue box that reminds him of the lovely color of his stan's eyes before they turned a cruel, glassy grey as the weight of his death and the rigamortis set in, then pitch black from hell fire, admiring the pretty sheen of the package, almost silver in the moonlight, that he thinks, in his disillusionment, look almost like the tiny silver specks that swam in stan's eyes like silverfish.

along with a bag of skittles, where he picks the best ones out, feeding the rest to the birds, who might not eat them either — there's a small comfort in knowing that, that as lonely as he feels tonight, they share his sick sentiment — his legs swinging off some bench with graffiti and the names in hearts of people who can love scratching at his arms, taunting him, as he, with a cool, surgical precision, separates the red out of the rainbow and sucks the red 40 and delicious cherry coating off each one like a popsicle until they look as grey and lifeless as he feels inside, his precious fantasy shattering all around him as he remembers he wasn't meant to be sweet or soft or swirl pasta pleasantly in a pot...

for hideous creatures born of hatred...

...were not meant to love anything.

but i fear, friends, that that is not the worst of it. that there are even bleaker entries, where kyle's hand writing is not perfectly printed, but rather, is very chaotic and disorderly, rushed, with words scratched out, written in a hurry...in fear he might not have much time left. :(

tw for mention of suicide

there is one entry in the stan journal that is particularly unpleasant, unsettling and haunting, where kyle writes stan his last will and testament. it features a kyle who stands so tall and fearsome, scared absolutely shitless as he tells stan ‘he did a bad thing’ and that he is frightened and doesn't know what to do. he says it was a moment of weakness, which disgusts him like himself for being such a worm, and that he felt the world a cruel dark place and that looking into the light would be like looking into stan's eyes and that...he misses him.

and wanted to be with him.

but that stan wouldn't want that. no, stan would be horrified. just like he is as he scrambles to form sentences in between shallow breaths. he took a lot of pills, it was a stupid thing, but it seemed smart at the time, he remembers one time that stan oft wondered how someone so smart could be so stupid at the same time — he told kyle that when stan told him that he had a crush on him in sixth grade and kyle had no idea even though he was extremely obvious about it — but that it would ruin his mother and ike's life, his a-hole father would call him a disappointment, a blight or burr on the broflovski family tree, and that tweek would be home in an hour and find him there and that he would probably never recovered from seeing him in that state. and that more than that, selfishly...

…he's absolutely terrified of death.

however, the entry ends a couple lines later with kyle assuring stan that he is alive and well, he knows this because his knuckles are torn to bits and bright red, sore and stinging, ( and also because stan is still a book and not the body of his favorite boy/super best friend ) and that really...it's a good thing, he supposes, he has years of experience...

...throwing things up. :(

i hate everything about this; fuck my life.

but all this to say, in way too many words like verbose jerseykyle, that the stan journal entries are extremely varied in notation and speaking of notes, or notable notes, that the letter that kyle wrote on stan's 21st birthday is among those letters...but the whole thing was so hideously embarrassing to him, that he'd ripped the pages out and had planned to throw them away...but forgot...fuck you, clozapine... and fell out of his notebook sometime during the south park trip.

jimmy, having no idea what the letter might be attached to, only saw that the letter was addressed to stan...gave it to him without thought.

stan read the letter, which devastated him, but also was the most beautiful and precious thing he'd ever read and stashed it away, like the secret that he had it in his possession, of course, telling kyle would only drive the wedge further between him...as he yearned. :(

but the contents of the letter return...at the end of our thrilling tale.

which, i want to remind you all again, especially our new readers, which...oh my god? i'm. like, seriously Shook, but mostly excited that this blog has more traction and interaction than it even did when i was actually writing my fanfictions! hello, new friends! welcome to hell! but back to what i was trying to relay, which is that my fanfiction can often be...very, very dark. they explore a lot of mature and macabre themes, things that the show set up very nicely but bc it's a comedy, were not really explored and, in my humble opinion, were kind of bastardized and written immature and in very poor taste by matt and trey, and...ofc, this is my spin on all that, and my spin is that these serious topics should be handed with care with authenticity and that often means that they will be...gruesome.

in the vein of gruesomeness, we readers, find out much later on during the south park portion of the story, while the fanfiction is set up to seem like the biggest secret/apex of the fic is kyle finding out who stan is...that was actually a curtain that hides the real meat and potatoes of the fanfic aka what swirls beneath the surface of a sleepy mountain down and the scandal that rocks it out there in the rockies.

specifically ( which is where the mackey's lackeys aka kyle's crimina laur classmates on his special case team/group, come in ) the dissappearance of a south park resident from well before stan's...

which we come to find via sonrisa/sharon marsh's personal diary which was stashed in a secret hatch in sharon's guitar case, one of the few things stan took with him from the house before setting the whole thing blaze...makes mention of one south park res in partic...

dr. tom, of tom's rhinoplasty.

publicly, the owner of beloved town business

...sharon's secret secret lover.

in these letters, stan comes to find that sharon and tom had plans of running away together, that she would never forgive herself for leaving her children behind with that monster, but that tom would fake his death, leave michelle and stanley his generous savings and his business in his will and that would start over...some place kinder.

they had planned to meet at mabel...

...but tom never came.

the town just assumed that the man had disappeared, skipped town for some reason or another...but stan and co...are not so sure.

so using sharon's letters, their sleuthing abilities and the crows, which, a sort of symbolic point of the fanfic is sharon calling stan cuervo for his shiny, oily black hair, his lovely singing voice and because stan fed the crows/ravens ever single day while randy shooed them cruelly off the properly and ravens...

rem(ember) faces. ;)

...and despite his new name, his now blue hair, all his piercings and being all grown up, the crows remember stan's kindness...and lead him to things. they show him clues and are a useful tool in getting to the bottom of tom's cold case...or rather...*cough*...

his murder.

which all comes to a head one very fucked up, winter night when a gun is pulled on ravenstan and right as he's about to get shot...

jersey jumps right in front of him…

…catches the bullet in his chest.

( this mirrors when stan took the hockey puck in the face for kyle )

it's a very gruesome traumatic to-be crime scene as jersey lays there bleeding out in stan's arms, who speaks to him softly thru his grief

( i don't have all the dialogue or everything blocked out, but i did start some snippets of dialogue in this cruddy post over here, lol )

and at the very last part of that excruciating exchange, stan is cradling kyles head in his hands and tells him to stay with him, because they have a shitty apartment to share together, lots of kyle nagging stan to pick his dirty towel up off the floor when he forgets for the umpteenth time, and delicious dinners that kyle will cook, slow dances in front of the refrigerator ala taylor swift like the one they shared at the sadie hawkins dance, that their second child, because the first one was the egg that they took care of together in third/forth grade, will know how to speak spanish and yiddish and that together, they'll make up for lost time...and have a long, lovely life together as stan's sabelotodo...and kyle's zeeskiet </3

and finally...while kyle is waning in and out of consciousness, stan sings to him a special little song, just like heaven by the cure, which is kyle's favorite ( in lady on the way to the diner where part three of the ravesey hate takes place, kyle sang along to it on the radio...with the pronouns changed...perhaps with a certain person in mind...and please note it was a lovely, lovely song...jersey actually has a beautiful singing voice, but the only audience he ever entertain is his shampoo and conditioner in the shower )

and stan just sits there, holding the love of his life, like if he held him tightly enough his pieces would come back together and sang to him, only getting halfway thorugh the second 'i'll run away with you' before kyle's eyes closed completely and his body went limp.

...they pulled ravenstan away from kyle kicking and screaming, swearing and sobbing hysterically...it took three emts to do so.

later on, in the hospital, while kyle is fighting for his life :(, bebe entrusts stan with kyle's special journal and tells him to read it. stan does, in spite of it being extremely difficult for him, both emotionally and for the simple fact that despite kyle's handwriting being lovely, immaculate, beautiful and neat just like him, it is also teeny-tiny and written entirely in cursive which, when you have as severe a case of dyslexia as ravenstan does, makes reading cursive a near impossible task. but then, stan believes in the impossible, which means he believes that his kyle will come back to him the same way he had just a month ago, though that feels so faraway now. like kyle, who though he's a mere pace away from the chair stan sits in across from his hospital bed, stan still feels is not close enough as he turns to on the next available page in kyle's therapy diary, and in stark contrast to kyle's cursive calligraphy, slants stan's chicken scratch which practically terrorizes the strict, dashed guidelines, stan starts to write kyle a heartfelt letter of his own, only taking breaks between lines to kiss the top of kyle's head and stroke his cold cheek.

the beginning of said letter, goes something like this:

oooOOooufff, that makes me want to cry so bad!

but anyways!

shortly after that, stan gives him a rundown of what he missed while he's been asleep. stan tells him that his hair is short now, a lot of his hair was matted and got covered in blood from his gun shot wound, :( or got caught in the myriad of dumb, gaudy emo boy pins that stan affixed to his jacket, which made it difficult to take off when the doctors needed to operate on him; so to make things easier, they just cut kyle's hair. he jokes that kyle is probably going to hate it and say that he looks like justin freakin' bieba' or lil orphan annie or shirley goddamn temple, but that stan thinks he looks very cute c': ( aw ) and that it frames his gorgeous face nicely with all the thick, ginger ringlets curling around his cheeks and the tips just barely kissing the sides of his jaw, where stan has left several of his own as a little gift for kyle when he wakes up...ones that, stan hopes,

kyle will eventually return. </3

he boasts playfully that while kyle was the one playing hero, stan was Actually the one who saved the day after all, or, his abuelito's gay ass ww2 jacket which kyle was wearing at the time of the accident and that because of it's thick, leather material, the speed of the bullet slowed down and saved his life ( in your face, dummy ) right before it reached his heart and obliterated that important artery. and that that heart, that stan loves with all his because it's attached to his favorite boy in the entire world, beats on, faintly...but still there.

stan calls him a stubborn bastard, on account of his refusing to die.

he tells kyle that everyone comes in to visit him in shifts through out the day, notably his mother and ike, who both weep and wish for his speedy recovery. stan lets kyle know that sheila keeps telling him to 'go home and get some sleep, orev. he'll be here when you wake up.' but that he wants to be here when kyle wakes up and won't budge.

he guesses he's a selfish bastard too and kyle's rubbing off on him.

stan writes that he brings sharon’s guitar to the hospital room and sings to him every day, sometimes its the cure or acoustic abba or taylor swift, even though kyle, a stubborn bastard as we mentioned, claims not to like her. he also sings kyle a lot of secret stuff just for him, written about him in private and that when kyle wakes up, during the summer, he's gonna take kyle on tour with him and kiss him in every country and continent, and that crimson dawn's next album is going to be filled with sappy love songs all about him that are going to make him so embarrassed and sick to death of him that he'll wish both he and stan actually died. and that sometimes hoards of excited children in the hospital come in to sing to him to leave him lots of flowers, letters, trinkets, odds and ends...and tell him stuff that maybe...he can hear? it's stan's wishful thinking, of course, but then, he's the dreamer...even though this is his worst fkn nightmare.

as an homage to peppermint, stan also tells kyle that he reads to him often, tries to do funny voices but kyle is better at it, y'know, since he has a funny voice that stan would like very much to hear again, the most beautiful sound in the world that makes his synesthesia light up. he tried to read the books in kyle's messenger bag, lots of dense, archaic, academic boy stuff written by old, dead russian authors, but that they're kinda..depressing? and he's not a very good reader, so he started reading him children's books and ya novels, specifically percy jackson which they read as kids together in stan's tree house. stan says that kyle reminds him so much of annabeth who is super smart and cool, even though he looks more like rachel dare, and that he knows that kyle would say he's a dead ( haha ) ringer for percy, but that he's no hero... and if he was, he would've saved ky. :(

he does not tell kyle that he's hooked up to an iv drip that feeds him nutrients through a system of tubes that are actually helping him retain a more healthy weight because that would trigger him. but stan is secretly so grateful and even though he's pale as a sheet...

but stan thinks that he's absolutely radiant

and glowing. :')

there's lots of other stuff written in this letter that stan writes that i hopefully will write and share with you all eventually...if i ever have time between working and being a depressed idiot...ravenstan calls jersey mi sabelotodo a lot ( awww x2 ), tells him about all the stuff he wants to do with him...detailing some scenarios that pc principal would *naught* approve of...that everyone misses him, but no one more than stan, who fell asleep writing the last part of his letter...

with his head on kyle's shoulder,

…snoring loudly and obnoxiously — the way kyle loved.

regrettably, some of the words stan wrote are illegible, which, the whole Goddamn Thing is fucking illegible because stan is illiterate and his handwriting is hell ( kyle can read it though, bless him ) but mostly because stan cried a lot writing in and his tears smudged a lot of the words on the pages...which do smell lightly of spiced apple cider, fireball ( stan drank a lot from stress :/ ) and...as for metal, that once kyle wakes up, he will gladly spend the rest of his life cutting kyle's lip open...on that god awful can-opener he calls a lip ring. <3

anyways, my dearest darlingest! i hope that answered your question. i realize it probably wasn't the short, sweet, heart-warming answer that you were hoping for, but i am a hurt/comfort angst queen so i think we all know by now that that's not how i rock and roll. ;)

but everyone say i hope you heal jersey.

we love you, baby. :(

-uncle nina, who is short-circuiting my computer w/ my leaking face

it's that goddamn branch in my eye again.

#ooooof this post was a doozy #but full of important information i think #even tho it’s fucking devastating #i really care a lot about my world building and story telling #i worked a lot on all of this #and try to be very thoughtful & thorough with everything i do #i hope you can feel that love thru these ask memes #even if you hate me being evil again hahaaaa #but yeah! i hope this answers ur question in too many words #we know how i am #again the lore is in progress #I develop it more every day so please give me grace #if there’s things i don’t have answers for or if they change #this all feels very right to me #i hope the crow thing is as sick as fuck to you as it is to me #a little proud of that one lmao #anyways uhhh #i am insecure and flattery will get you everywhere #please let me know if this pleases and sparkles #it would mean a lot to me bc u all also mean a lot to me #hides from the angry mob that may assemble in my inbox #nina stop being evil challenge #failed catastrophically

[flowerflowerflo]

𓏲˳˚⊹ 🧸 become obsessed with yourself.

you are stupid. i said it. there. you are stupid.

let me get this straight. you are out here listening to these people who make you insecure. you are listening and actually giving a shit about people who put you down, make you feel unworthy, inferior, less of the absolute goddess that you are. you people please, you go above and beyond to help people & change yourself for people who would never do the same and for what. for people to like you? honey nobodys gonna like you. you dont even like yourself.

listen ml you need to get your priorities straight. sit down for a sec. like. just sit and genuinely ask yourself "what do i get out of this? how does this serve me?". go on, ask yourself. all these people who constantly think theyre better than you, that they can walk all over you, the ones that dont care a bit for you with their actions even if their words say otherwise, all these habits that only make you feel more low, more insecure, and dont align with where you wanna go in any way, shape or form. honey how in the hell does any of this serve you ???😭😭

i am sick to death of seeing the word selfish everywhere the moment somebody steps up and is brave enough to try and better themselves. the amount of times ive gotten "youre so selfish" or "youve changed" or "you werent like this before" jst because i got out of the most severe depression of my life where i came close to being unalive so many times is riDICULOUS and just shows how normalised insecurity and people pleasing is nowadays.

you see, people are always trying to follow the trend, follow the leader, follow everyone else nowadays. nobody actually honours what they want & that is a reflection of their own insecurity and traumas and emotions they are too scared to face. do you really want that for yourself? youve got such big dreams, such big potential, but what on earth do you do to fulfill them?

i dont think you realise just how limitless you actually are. you can do anything. we are all born the same. its only those with the courage to get up and try who will reach what they want and achieve greater things.

GET OBSESSED WITH YOURSELF. i am so DRAINED and TIRED of caring about what people think. i like something? im gonna do it. i dont care. fuck people pleasing. what are they gonna do when youre rich and famous and successful and thriving? YOU ARE THE ONLY VALIDATION YOU NEED. life is so much easier when you genuinely could not care less, like you just dont give a single shit. you are the only person who knows you inside out and will be there with you 24/7 365. it infuriates me how self hatred is so normalised nowadays. like what the actual fuck, why would you wanna spend your entire life hating the only person whos gonna be with you every second without fail, when you are perfectly capable of reversing that???? its ridiculous.

get up. get obsessed with yourself. the only validation you should be chasing is your own. pull yourself together girl. this is ridiculous. you are so much more than this. start acting like it. be ur own biggest fan. be ur own bestest friend. everything you need is already within you. u got this. 💕

#girlblogging #wonyoungism #it girl #pink pilates princess #self love #self concept #law of assumption #manifestation #that girl #loassumption #loa blog #dream girl

[lueurjun]

enemies to lovers with yeonjun

yeonjun x reader — in which you hate him and assume he hates you back, until you realise that maybe he never hated you at all. it’s a long one! requests are open if you want something specific <3

choi yeonjun is the bane of your existence

his mere presence— oof. it infuriates you for no reason

it wouldn’t be so bad if you didn’t have to see him everyday

but unfortunately you do

because he’s your brothers (soobin) best friend and has been practically adopted by your family

dear soobin simps feel free to change your brother, i get it bae i totally get it

you can’t catch a break he’s practically moved in at this point

you’re tired of seeing this boy everywhere you look

cant you just go downstairs at 3 am for a glass of water without finding him shirtless in your kitchen munching on a sandwich??

your parents have more pictures of him in your house than of you

#favouritism

#hesthechildtheyalwayswanted

your hatred for him started when you were eight years old

it even caused a rift between you and soobin bc your dumbass bother picked HIS side over yours

#evenmorefavouritism

#justicefory/n:(

what did he do?

PURPOSELY spilled his grape juice all over the front of your trousers making it look like your eight year old self pissed yourself

on a park with fellow kids your age who are mean as hell

you got bullied pretty bad after that and though time moved on and they forgot, you never did

it stuck with you

get behind me i’ll rip his hair out

say the word and i’ll fight him for u

anyways from that day on you DETESTED him

and he’s dumb so he has no idea why but instead of asking

he decided to dislike you back because in his mind that’s the most logical thing to do

what an idiot am i right?

a handsome one tho;)

sorry:( we dislike him rn i still got ur back

constant squabbling over the smallest things because he didn’t know when to shut up and you just hated his face

but not really because if you swallowed your pride just a tad you would admit that you do see the handsomeness within him

don’t worry bae you can admit that you’d jump on his bones if you didn’t hate him so much

ahem. anyways.

you cannot stand him because he’s the devils spawn and he doesn’t deserve your praise

until you’re set to go to prom and you have a really cute date with someone you’d had a crush on for a really long time

yeonjun of course makes a comment about your appearance but you don’t even care

because you have a date with someone special

and he has to attend with soobin so who’s the real loser?

not him my love id love to go with soobin

they leave and you wait back for your date to pick you up

time is ticking by and you’re starting to get a little nervous

your parents are starting to look at you in sympathy and you absolutely want the ground to swallow you up

because you’ve been stood up and it becomes apparent when an hour has passed and still no show or text and you’re starting to feel insecure and stupid

ur perfect bby lemme at ‘em

just when you’re about to hang up your outfit and hide beneath your duvet covers

the doorbell rings and you spring up with immense happiness

because your date hasn’t forgotten you after all

only when you answer the door it isn’t your date

rather yeonjun?? standing with flowers?? and no soobin in sight??

your parents are literally cradling each other in awe

and you’re like ??

“i know being stood up sucks for you but it’s the perfect opportunity for me to make right whatever wrong i did… and ask you to be my date…”

he sounds nervous?? genuine??

there’s a glimmer of hope in his eyes that you just don’t have in you to crush

so you accept the flowers and press a kiss to his cheek before eventually taking his arm

“i kinda don’t wanna go to the prom anymore… can we just go get something to eat? unless you wanna go?”

he seems kinda surprised for a second but then he grins with that stupid little twinkle in his pretty little eyes that admittedly have you swooning

“i’d prefer that honestly”

so that’s exactly what you do

yeonjun drives to a mcdonald’s and he pays for your food and then you just sit in the car park

together

and for as long as you’ve known him you have never actually hung out with him one on one for longer than fifteen minutes

but somehow it’s not awkward?

you both swing into subtle jokes and he even throws in a few flirty comments here and there

which takes you by surprise but what shocks you more is that you don’t mind them??

you retaliate to them but with the same flirty undertones

flirting in a mcdonald’s car park dressed to go to prom

that’s so romantic get out

the bar is in hell i know

don’t even @ me i need a moment rn

i ship u both. get married pls

anyways after eating until your stomachs felt full and there were tears of laughter in your eyes

the dreaded question rolls around

“why do you hate me?”

way to ruin the vibes yeonjun

“because you suck”

i rate the honesty babe

“ok sure i deserve that i think- but what did i do? you never used to hate me when we were kids”

you’re a little annoyed now

because how does he not remember the incident that has stuck in your mind for years?

“do you seriously not remember?”

and he shakes his head looking all clueless

which makes you feel a little embarrassed because had you just been dramatic this entire time?

maybe a little but it’s valid. i back u 100%

get his ass you sweet thing!

“you spilled grape juice all over my jeans at the park and told everyone i peed! i got made fun of for so long after that! it was mean!”

the vibe has been completely ruined now

well done yeonjun

speaking of yeonjun, he feels terrible

he remembers that incident back when he was an absolute menace

he still is but not as bad

what makes him feel worse is that you’ve only ever attacked him due to the hurt he caused you

meanwhile, he was just as mean back in retaliation

his world was literally crumbling

“and soobin took your side! you took my street cred and my brother!”

i’m soobin’s lawyer. he didn’t mean it

okay sorry! i still have your back!

“i’m sorry—truly. i didn’t realise how much it would hurt you or that you held a grudge—”

“maybe you should’ve asked.”

“i know. i’m sorry. i know nuggets won’t help but you can have an extra one of mine…”

you wanted to stay mad at him

but with the way his big eyes stared back at you whilst he held up a nugget as a peace offering

there was something oddly adorable about it

you take it from him because duh? who wouldn’t?

i mean vegans probably wouldn’t—

if you’re a vegan i’m so sorry imagine you’re eating something else

“why did you decide to take me to prom?”

you can’t help but ask the question that’s been prodding at you since you left the house

“saw your jackass date with someone else and soobin felt bad but he had his own date so i said i’d come get you…”

oh.

so it was just a favour for soobin

ok :D that’s fine

not tho is it bae? you lyin?

apart of you hoped that he asked you because he wanted to

perhaps the disappointment showed on your face because suddenly he starts stuttering

but you shake your head and force a smile

me in the mirror after an emotional breakdown :P

“let’s go then. he’s probably wondering—”

“no. that was a cop out.”

pussy

you just gape at him waiting for him to carry on

because what else are you meant to say?

“i wanted to ask you to be my date a while ago but you hated me and to be honest i never hated you, i just felt… i don’t know… bitter i guess? and that’s no excuse. i’m a dick and i know it. but when i saw your date with someone else, i knew it had to be some kind of sign that you were meant to attend the prom with me.”

okay romcom confession KING

go off

before you can comprehend anything, he carries on with his ramble

“i’m so sorry for the hurt i inflicted on you when we were kids, and for the way i’ve behaved since then. i know it won't make up for everything, but if you let me, i will spend every day of my life trying to make it up to you. Even if it takes forever for your feelings of hatred towards me to diminish or disappear altogether, i’ll wait - and hope that one day, i can prove myself to be a worthy partner for you.”

someone grab a bucket i’m gonna be sick ( i’m sliding down my wall crying rn )

i’d fold in an instant

kdrama yeonjun GO OFF

you kinda just sit there like a lemon for a sec

because wot?

literally like what is going on?

“you’ll have to grovel.”

“i will. believe me.”

“and you won’t hurt me?”

“never.”

there’s this look in his eyes that you haven’t seen before

a determined and genuine look that has you feeling quite assured

the grudge against him is still there, of course, it’s not just going to go away

but it’s not as strong and you find yourself feeling rather excited

“then consider this our first date. the first step to making things right.”

yeonjun is a little wary as he takes your hand but the nerves settle when you don’t recoil from him

hesitantly he kisses your knuckles with a grin

“to making things right.”

surprisingly, you’re thankful your date stood you up

but no one is thankful as yeonjun

gosh why do i do these? i literally make myself cry

#txt #tomorrrow x together #kpop #txt headcanons #txt fluff #txt enemies to lovers #txt x reader #txt imagines #txt fic #txt angst #choi yeonjun #yeonjun #yeonjun headcanons #yeonjun scenarios #yeonjun x reader #yeonjun enemies to lovers #yeonjun fluff #yeonjun imagines #yeonjun fic #txt scenarios #kpop headcanons #enemies to lovers #kpop imagines #kpop x reader #kpop fic #kpop fluff #kpop angst #yeonjun angst

[gwojo]

Gojo Satoru as your bf

FEATURING: Gojo Satoru (五条悟)

gojo satoru x gn!reader, fluff, slight angst if u squint, basically just the things he'd do for you bc of how much he luvs u! wordcount: 622

We all know THEEEEE gojo satoru is so whipped when it comes to being in-love?! Some probably think he'll be clueless but when it comes to you, he's so knowledgeable with everything related to you

It started off as a lil crush on you and obviously we all know gojo is shameless when it comes to his feelings (except for dark and deep ones) so he kept on reminding u everyday that he had a interest on you

You both end up with each other while his students were also cheering you both on (it was so cute bc yuji was the happiest)

We all know gojo satoru is a very busy man, despite that he still makes time just to see you everyday, even making the higher ups angry due to him leaving his students in a abandoned hospital and he'd leave just to travel to you and see you.

Messages between you both weren't frequent, he will always find a way to see you irl but whenever he has to go overseas as his punishment for leaving his students without any supervision, that's where your notifications are FLOODING. LIKE NONSTOP.

Although he's at work at most times, he still somehow messages you??? like a lot?? so you ask him about it and he tells you that he messages u even when he's on a battle with cursed spirits

Honestly there would be more voice messages or calls in both of your dms because I reckon he's more of a call guy rather than a text guy

He'd always rant to you about how annoying the higher ups are and stuff, he's SUPER talkative but he always lets you speak first or after so you don't feel left out bc he rlly loves hearing ur voice

He's much of a "if he wanted to, he would" typa guy and honestly even if he didn't want to do it he would still do it for you, like even HIS FAVORITE Kikufuku he would still give it to you because of how much he loves you, he acts stingy most of the time but he'll always end up giving it to you

Whenever you have panic attacks or just anything general with having a bad day which results you into getting breakdowns, he'd always be there for you no matter what. Kisses and hugs, food, everything you ever loved, and him ofc

He never hated anything about you honestly, he just loved who you are and whenever you get insecure about the girls who chases him–he always end up flexing his wallet and his phone in front of their faces, why? because your face was plastered everywhere in it. LIKE EVEN HIS PHONE CASE IS YOU TAKING A MIRROR SELFIE, polaroid pictures were frequent with u (he keeps a pic of u in his wallet and also his students, even tho he doesn't use wallets.)

He'd call you "love, baby, sugarboo" most of the time, he's just so silly. He's a unserious guy tbh but he knows when to stop and where to stop whenever you actually get upset

Whenever he's upset because he got jealous when you were catching up with your bestfriend, he would stop talking to you or ignore you once you got home (trust me. he won't last after 20 minutes max.) so he gets all pouty but partially its a joke because he really trusts you with all his heart and he knows you won't replace him but he also gets upset and just a little kiss from you, he'll be back to normal (basically just bragging about how hot he is).. He'll always crave your presence no matter what, and nothing and no one will change that.

reblogs are appreciated! thank you for reading.

— © gwojo 2023. pls i advise u not to share on tiktok, plagiarize, repost on other platforms, copy, or translate.

#dee's works ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა #au #jjk #jjk x you #jjk x reader #x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x y/n #jjk writing #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #gojo x reader #satoru #satoru gojo #jjk gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jjk fluff #fluff #gojo saturo #jujutsu gojo #jjk satoru #jujutsu satoru #gojo jjk #gojo bf #gn reader #my writing

[haet-sal]

https://www.tumblr.com/majestyjun/718539728402644992/txt-baby-trapping-tw-freader

The yeonjun one…what do you think about something like this with a TBZ member??

OKAY OKAY LISTEN Some members r tbz are not that rough, but still into breeding. Like a soobin type aahhaha I cannot believe that write did all 5 members WHAT AN AUTHOR

TW BABY TRAPPING, SABOTAGE, toxic, dark, DUBCON, non-con somno, mention of imprisonment just don’t read, NSFT

I think

Wouldnt: haknyeon(just isnt into it, doesnt even THINK of babytrapping as a concept) Kevin (professional woman respector) sunwoo (he hates kids just watch that kids content sorry sunwoo girls u are not getting ur baby trap) eric (might look hawt and daddy material but he’s too hot to settle rn+he'll trap you another way (blackmail))

Would:

Sangyeon:he's into babies he’s possessive he’s financially ready for the babiez / would trick you def, but by fucking you to next Friday like yeonjun. A Lil insecure about your love, so: "you need to have babies! thats the only way you'll love me! you don't know it yet, you'll know it then!" Can’t wait to have you carry his babies and say it’s his to others, he is one proud manipulative dad. Right now he just fucks you deep with gritted teeth, wont let a single drop spill out later. Daddy's orders

Jacob:very sweet breeding session, not rough at all, BUT he makes sure the condom fails, and nooo he doesn’t want you taking pills "baby they're so bad for your mental health it makes you sad :(((" he just cares about you... "of course we can’t have a baby yet, sweetheart, I understand that" *fucks u with a broken condom nightly*

Younghoon: fuck yea he's all "fuck em kids" and wouldn't even give a shit when the baby comes, not really, all he loves is YOU. You when you're begging him to not cum inside (he does), you when you’re pregnant and crying(bc he betrayed you), you when you’re playing with the infant and has that GLOW ah... he can imagine it all now... you’re just gonna be prettier and his all the time. He grips you by the hips and fucks himself harder into you. You’ve got your nails buried in his back "you can’t cum inside!" He just grunts and doesn’t listen

Hyunjae: Oh are you kidding. He has names picked out already. Fucks you every night since he got the idea with a vendetta. Makes you lift your hips and hold the cum in. Just the thought of the whole biology process happening from his 💦 is getting him hot again. Round 2 turns to round 3, forces you to drink more water just cum and cum and have him cum. Holds you down and looks you deep and dark into your eyes. "You are gonna have my babies, understand?" He doesn’t treat u so well right now, but once you’re pregnant he'll change (wait n see?)

Juyeon: sly little kitty, won't even mention having kids to you, afraid of rejection. Some somno? Makes you take large dosages of sleeping pills (but not enough to be dangerous he loves his baby) and fucks you deep into sleep. Every night. You wake up sticky, he’s proud. You'd wake up mid-fuck and think it’s normal, you even like it, moan his name, say "daddy" oh fuck yeah, he will be.

New: New never really thought much about babies, that changed when he met you, though, his one-sided soulmate. First he tried to manipulate you into staying, saying no one else loves you the way he does, all that, but once you wouldn't he just opts to find other options. Babytrapping is one of them. Looking sweetly up at you as he fucked you, your hips leaning off the couch. "You look so sweet. You’re gonna have such a pretty little glow." You look up at him, hmming "huh?" He just smiles. "Nothing~I'm fucking you dumb"

Q: I mean he’s a crazy yandere so he'll go all-out. It seems ur bedroom time is the only time you can agree on something, changmin's erraticness changing into a passionate sexuality. He'll fuck you with his hands in your hair, smacking your tits, you like it rough. How would he ever find someone he loves like he loves you? You want to leave, he knows, but he won't let you. When he does, it'll be because he knows there's a part of him already inside you...

Anyway you can tell me which of these youd like a blurb on! Send an ask

#anonasks #yandere tbz #yandere younghoon #yandere jacob #yandere Hyunjae #yandere chanhee #tw noncon #tw dubcon #tw babytrapping

[brewsterispunkk]

sunshine state.

PART FIVE: FORTUNATE SON

pairing: benny miller x f!reader

WC: 4k !

warnings: PTSD (this one is rough, friends). dumbasses in love, we get some of Benny’s POV here ;)

summary: benny is living with reader, when a hurricane hits further up the coast, causing a week of perpetual thunderstorms. what could go wrong?

a/n: a shorter one before things REALLY heat up. And recently sunshine state has received a lot more notes and exposure so: if you’re new, hi!! i love u and I’m so happy ur here with us! as always, notes and feedback is so SO appreciated! xx, L

PART FIVE: FORTUNATE SON

Benny would never admit it, but his PTSD was getting worse.

He’d never say it out loud, and it was easy for him to hide it. He was good at hiding a lot of things. He was good at hiding how insecure he was about his attention span, he was good at hiding how much it hurt that his brother’s fiance hated him, he was good at hiding how his best friend made his insides feel like they were on fire and his heart feel like it was going to beat out of his chest. He was even better at hiding how nervous he was all the time.

Ever since his nightmare at the beach house, he’d felt that familiar pit of anxiety in his chest knotting and knotting in a way it hadn’t since when he’d first gotten back from his time in the service.

His PTSD came and went.

When he’d first gotten back, it was awful. There were days at a time when he got no sleep at all; either he’d wake up screaming his throat raw, or he couldn’t close his eyes long enough without the images of war seeping in. That was a time he tried not to remember. It was right after Kelly had left, leaving him with a half- empty apartment and trust issues. Depression hit, and most days it took all the effort he had in him to even get out of bed to make a meal. He’d been on a one-way flight to hell.

It had been Will and Frankie who pulled him out of it. Pope was still in the service, taking another tour god-knows where, and Will and Frankie had already been out for a few years. They knew the signs to look for.

It had taken weeks for Benny to be convinced to get help and finally go to therapy at the VA. After a particularly drunken night, he’d hit rock-bottom, sobbing into Will’s arms in the bathroom. The next day, he’d made the appointment.

Since then, there had been spurts; weeks or days at a time where he’d feel a little more on-edge than usual, where a car backfiring would send him into a fit, where he couldn’t sleep because of the flashbacks. But it was nearing on a week since the storm, and he still felt on edge. He was holding his breath for it to pass.

The doorknob turning pulled Benny from his thoughts.

He looked down into the pot on your stove, and cursed when he saw the broth there boiling.

“Shit,” he hissed, hoping it wouldn’t affect the soup that much. He poured in the chopped vegetables and set the stove to simmer, covering the pot with the top.

“Hey,” you sighed, finally back from work. “What’s all this?”

“Ah, It’s supposed to be dinner.” He smiled. “If it turns out alright is to be determined.”

You rolled your eyes.

“I’m sure it’ll be wonderful.” You shook your head, reaching down to give Salem a scratch behind the ear as you toed off your shoes. “I’m gonna go change, ok?”

“Alright!” He called after you, leaning on the counter.

How you were always so encouraging was beyond him. You were optimistic of everyone, but especially of him in a way that seemed so effortless. Like you weren’t even trying to be that way, you just were. It made his chest constrict. A purr from his feet caught Benny’s attention.

“Oh, you.” He said sarcastically, eyeing the black cat perched in front of him. She was glaring at him, and Benny didn’t care what you said, but she did it on purpose. He was sure of it.

Resting bitch face, my ass. He thought, recalling what you’d called it, as the feline swished her tail at him.

Her green eyes regarded him coolly, judging him as if she could read his mind.

“In your dreams,” he imagined her saying as he watched the hallway you’d retreated to. Hell, even your cat knew you were too good for him.

He snorted at his thoughts. Maybe he was going crazy.

Suddenly, thunder rumbled, sending a thrill of dread down Benny’s back. He looked out the small kitchen window above your sink. The clouds looked darker than they had earlier, and no blue could be seen in the sky. A hurricane had hit land further up the coast a few days ago, and he knew that it was only a matter of time before the fallout made its way here, but that did nothing to dull the anxiety he felt staring the storm down.

“Jesus,” you called from your bedroom, emerging in sweats and a T-shirt. “I wasn’t expecting the storms to get here so quickly.”

“Yeah,” he added lamely, eyes still on the clouds.

“At least the hurricane didn’t hit us, right?” You asked, making your way over to him. “Hey,” your hand hit his shoulder, and your concerned eyes met his. “You okay?” You asked.

“Yeah.” He swallowed, looking at you, hoping his eyes didn’t give away his obvious anxiety. You cast him an unconvinced look that held no real venom.

“Yeah, okay, big guy. Go shower or something, let me deal with this.”

“No, no.” He said with conviction, knowing that the last thing he needed was to be alone with his thoughts. He knew you were just trying to help, but still: the thought of leaving the task at hand made that familiar thrill of anxiety course through him. He caught your surprised look out of the corner of his eye and sighed. “No. This helps and,” he paused. “I wanted to do something nice. To say thank you.”

All of a sudden he felt sheepish, looking down at the recipe he’d stolen from one of your cookbooks. He felt your eyes on him but didn’t look up. He was too scared he’d find pity. You sighed.

“Okay,” your voice was a tad softer. “But you need to use egg noodles, not angelhair.”

His eyes met your amused ones and he chuckled, grateful that you were treating him normally.

That was something he never could quite get over with Will; he knew he meant well, and that he got it, but whenever his PTSD would act up, he’d handle Benny like he was delicate. Like he needed to be fixed, to be handled like fine china. It wasn’t like that with you.

You moved out of the kitchen, Salem at your heels, and flopped down on the couch. Outside, thunder rumbled, and he felt his heart speed up.

This was gonna be a long night.

“It’s my turn to pick the show!” You called, and he groaned. If he had to sit through one more episode of New Girl, he was gonna lose it. And not because of the storm.

“Please tell me it’s not—“

“It’s New Girl!” You laughed, knowing exactly what you were doing. “Consider it revenge for Rick and Morty.”

He rolled his eyes fondly, feeling his chest decompress the slightest bit. A warmth replaced it and he caught himself smiling to himself as he stirred the noodles into the broth.

Shit. He thought to himself. I’m in deep.

- - - -

It was half past two when you stirred awake, a particularly loud crack of thunder waking you. You jumped as another sounded.

You shook your head and burrowed back into your pillows, mind set on getting back to sleep, before you started.

Benny.

You slid out of bed, bare feet hitting the wood floor as you made your way down the hall. You tried to be as quiet as possible—on the off chance that Benny actually was asleep, you didn’t want to disturb him. As you got to the end of the hallway, you heard the muffled voices of the sitcom on the television.

The first thing that you noticed was the fact that Benny hadn’t pulled the couch out into a bed yet. You’d told him multiple times that he really didn’t have to fold it up again every morning, but he insisted—something about not intruding on your space or whatever. He sat in the middle of the couch, bleary eyes trained on the TV. It seemed he wasn’t planning on sleeping tonight. The second thing you noticed was that the show playing on the TV at near nonexistent volume was New Girl.

Checkmate, Miller, you thought smugly.

You walked over to him, sitting beside him on the couch, pretending to be invested in whatever Nick and Schmidt were arguing about.

“Hey,” you offered lightly, not knowing if he was in the mood to talk or not.

“Hi.” he said, sounding beaten down. It made your heart ache for him because god, it was tearing you up to see him like this. You sighed, leaning your head on his shoulder, offering the best form of comfort you could. You thought you felt him relax a bit at the contact, which made sense, because Benny’s love language was physical touch.

“Not planning on sleepin’ tonight, then?” you asked, genuine. No judgment involved.

“Yeah, no.” the words came out sounding choked in his throat. “I, I don’t,” he stopped, as if thinking for the right words. You lifted your head and looked at him, prepared to lend your ear. “I don’t think I can deal with the dreams tonight.” He sounded defeated, and your heart broke.

You nodded.

A few more moments of silence passed before he spoke up again.

“It’s fuckin’ ironic.” His voice was dry, bitter.

“What is?”

“So many people, so many,” he continued. “Like to thank me for my service. For serving my country or whatever. For being ‘brave.’ They call us brave. But I can’t even sit through fuckin’ rainstorm without getting confused and thinking I’m over there again. Pretty fuckin’ brave.”

You grabbed his hand, squeezing like you were the one going through it.

“It’s not fair,” he said after a minute. “I get a pension check once a year and in exchange I have to deal with all this shit alone.”

You stayed silent, because you didn’t know what to say. He was right; it wasn’t fair. It was horrible to you—that someone as kind and happy and pure as Benny was having to put up with this. If you could have taken it away, you would have. Instead, you just squeezed his hand and put your head back on his shoulder.

After a few more minutes of watching the TV screen monotonously, you spoke up again.

“So, no convincing you to try to get some sleep?” you asked casually.

He craned his neck to look down at you, a guilty look on his face. His brows were pulled together tight.

“I don’t think so, honey. M’sorry,” he said apologetically. You shook your head.

“You don’t have to apologize, Ben.” you murmured. “I’m not tired either, I’ll stay up with you.”

He sighed, not believing you.

“Honey, you don’t have to–”

“I know, dingus.” You said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and to you it was. “I want to.”

He shook his head.

“Alright, then.” he said, before muttering under his breath, “stubborn.”

“I heard that.”

“And?” he challenged. You rolled your eyes and pinched his thigh, all of a sudden invested with what was happening in the show.

“Just shut up and watch the show.” The order held no real venom. The only response you got was a chuckle, as the both of you turned your attention back to the TV, waiting to see if Schmidt would be successful in wooing CeCe.

“You’re wrong, you know,” you spoke as the credits rolled, catching Benny by surprise. He tilted his head a little, not taking his eyes away from the screen as he pressed ‘play’ on the next episode.

“Wrong about what?”

“Not to sound like a broken record here,” you sighed. “Or, like, be too cheesy, but you’re not alone, Ben.” you paused, waiting for him to say something, but panicking when he didn’t. Your mouth moved faster than your brain, just spitting you what you meant. “You–All this shit you’re dealing with, it’s awful, like, insanely awful, and I’m not gonna pretend like I know what it’s like at all, but you’re not alone. I love you, but that’s the biggest load of horse-shit I’ve ever heard. You’ve got the guys, and you’ve got the people at the gym who love you, Ben. Your students worship the ground you walk on, and I’m pretty sure that girl Patricia is, like, in love with you or something, but that’s not,” you took a breath, feeling his eyes on you but too scared to look up. You exhaled, trying to calm your nerves, and hoping that at least some of that made sense. “And you’ve got me, Benny. I’m not going anywhere unless you, like, shun me or something. You’re not alone.” You added the last part quietly, bashful all of a sudden.

When he didn’t say anything, you cleared your throat.

“Sorry if that was out of line–”

“Thank you,” his choked up voice cut you off, and you finally looked up at him. His eyes were glassy, and he was looking at his lap, sniffing like he was trying to hold back tears. “I,” he paused. “Thank you.”

You just hugged him, letting him bury his face in your shoulder. You pretended not to feel the moisture from his eyes seep through your shirt.

You let him be the first to pull back, letting him set the pace. Besides, if it were up to you, you weren’t sure you’d ever break the hug. Being that close to him was addictive.

He pressed play on the TV, watching the show with more relaxed attention; his shoulders had relaxed a bit.

You smirked, your head on his shoulder again.

“I told you I’d convert you,” you said smugly.

“Hmm?” he hummed, not quite catching your meaning.

“New Girl is so much better than Rick and Morty.”

“Oh my god,” he laughed, and it sounded even deeper and fuller than it usually did, the sound hitting your ears differently with your head on his shoulder. “Just shut up and watch the show,” he added fondly, parroting your own words from earlier back to you. You couldn’t help the stupid, stupid smile that came across your face.

You didn’t go back to bed, no matter how many times Benny insisted you needed sleep. Once, around 3:30 am, you’d yawned and he’d nudged you, chuckling.

“Get to bed, honey. I’m keeping you up.”

You’d just jutted your chin at him, rubbing at your eyes.

“Don’t order me around in my own house, Miller.” you’d said sourly, and that was that. He didn’t argue.

And by four a.m., you were out. Completely dozed off, hands clutching Benny’s arm and face smushed into his shoulder, completely missing the way he was looking at you like you hung the moon.

- - - -

It was half-way through the week when Benny found himself curled up on your bathroom floor, knees to his chest, eyes wide, and breathing stuttered.

It had been stupid. So, so stupid.

He was getting ready for the day–it was half-past nine, and he had a class at 10:30. He’d slept in a bit, but he didn’t mind. The six hours of sleep he had gotten had been the most he’d gotten in days, and he’d take what he could get. He’d been reaching for his pomade for his hair when his elbow slipped, knocking over your metal hand-mirror from the counter.

It had hit the tile with a loud crack, and in an instant, Benny was on the ground, hands pressed to his ears.

The flashbacks varied. Sometimes, he was in a jungle somewhere, bullets flying from the brush and he couldn’t see. Other times, he was in a desert, the dry heat burning at his eyes as he watched his comrades fall. Once, he was underwater: a memory from a training drill gone wrong in which he’d almost drowned.

This time, it was the desert.

As he squeezed his eyes shut, he saw visions: the gold slope of a dune, Will’s pained expression as blood poured from a flesh-wound, his friend from bootcamp shot through the head, eyes wide and unseeing.

He gasped when he felt something warm and wet against his arm. A curious meow sounded from next to him, and his frantic eyes opened to a furry black head tilted, close to his. Salem pawed at his arm, claws extended only a little bit, until he dropped his arms completely. His breath came a little slower now.

She gazed at him annoyedly, as if to say, “really, this is what you called me in for?”

She meowed again, brushing up against him this time, her soft head rubbing against his knee. Benny couldn’t believe it; this was the closest the cat had gotten to him without her trying to either pee or inflict some kind of bodily harm on him. He liked it.

Shit, shit, shit, he thought to himself, forcing his eyes open. He frantically looked around the room, trying to focus on anything enough to distract himself.

His breath was still labored, and every time he blinked he saw it; the blood, his friend’s wide, lifeless eyes. He clenched his fists, trying desperately to remember what he learned in therapy, or the breathing techniques Will had taught him, or your voice talking him down, or anything, but he couldn’t. His mind, and his lungs still thought he was over there, fighting for his life, and his body was in panic mode.

He was surprised to find Salem still beside him, her tongue still licking his arm. Her small, dark figure sat beside him, her eyes trained on the door, as if on guard. Her tail swished every now and then, brushing up against his back, and he thought that sitting like this she looked more like a companion than a pest—vigilant and loyal.

I could get used to this, he thought.

Then, all of a sudden, he realized that the pit of panic in his stomach was nearly nonexistent, banished by Salem’s presence beside him.

He looked at the cat in shock, and she just stared back. Her green eyes were knowing, he thought, almost smug. No wonder you swear she understands you. As if hearing his thoughts, her tail swished, and with a purr, she turned around and strutted out of the bathroom.

Benny sighed, all of a sudden tired from the ordeal. He decided he’d call off from work today–give Lance something to do other than sit on his ass and check out minors for a living. But for a minute, he just sat there, perplexed and a bit amused, at what had just happened.

- - - -

The next curtain didn’t fall until a few days later.

The days had passed slowly from your point of view, though you knew it was probably the opposite from Benny’s.

You knew that it’d been hard on him. He hadn’t been open about it since that night a few days before, but you knew the signs—no matter how good the thought he was at hiding it. There were times you’d catch him staring a bit too intensely into space, or gripping the table too hard, and you knew. Luckily he’d been able to sleep the past few nights— or at least had been willing to try. If the bags under his eyes were any indication, though, you’d venture to say that he hadn’t been sleeping much.

And unfortunately, the storms had gotten worse. The hurricane was a category 4, which meant that the fallout would be more intense than a few light showers. They were supposed to pass by the weekend, but even that was wishful, in your opinion: bad weather had a habit of sticking around for longer than it was supposed to in Florida.

Tonight was the worst storm yet.

The wind howled and the windows creaked in your shitty apartment and you tossed and turned.

It’d been a hard day at the museum: your boss getting on your ass to file new artifacts while also expecting you to do the secretarial work at the front desk. Jen had called off again, and Will, like always it seemed, hadn’t shown up. His presence was practically nonexistent there nowadays. In fact, he only volunteered on Saturdays, which you had off, so you only really saw him at events with the guys. You all were still worried.

It was near midnight when you heard your door creak open. You didn’t need to look to know who it was; Salem was much quieter when sneaking into your room at night. It had to be Benny.

You sat up in your bed and he froze in your doorway, the throw blanket from your couch clutched in his hands. His eyes were wide in the dark of your room. He’d obviously thought you were sleeping. Your eyes held his for a moment, before you scooted over in your bed wordlessly, opening your covers for him. He sighed, before laying down in your bed, pulling the covers up to his chest.

You reached down to his hand, giving it a squeeze in reassurance. He squeezed it back two times consecutively, like a heartbeat, before letting go. You sighed, rolling over on your side, trying to get back to sleep.

You tried to fall asleep like that for what must have been thirty minutes, but couldn’t, acutely aware of the presence of the man beside you.

Your bed was a full, so while it wasn’t small, it definitely wasn’t too spacious—especially considering the size of the person you were sharing it with. You felt like you could feel his every breath. You stopped when you felt him trembling.

You turned over, facing him, to see his back, his shoulders shaking. You reached out, turning him over to face you.

His face was beaten down, and his expression held embarrassment. You wanted nothing more than to smooth the lines on his forehead away, to ease whatever pain he was feeling.

Your eyes held his for a moment.

“Benny,” you whispered, though the only two people in the house were you two. Your hand was still in his, squeezing in silent support.

“M’sorry,” he whispered back shakily, and you just shook your head, pulling him closer to you wordlessly.

The two of you folded together, easily, nicely, as if the two of you had been sleeping like this every night since the beach. His head found your chest, right beneath your collarbone, as he half-layed on top of you.

His shoulders shook for a moment as he sniffled into your collarbone. Your hands found his hair without thought. Subconsciously, like you always were longing to do. You hummed something–a song from your childhood as you smoothed his hair, no words being spoken between you two. Neither of you needed to. You were there for him—if this was what helped him ground himself, then you’d be there. No questions asked. Like you knew he’d be there for you. And you were glad that Benny trusted you like this: trusted you enough to show you the most vulnerable parts of himself.

He breathed shakily into your shoulder, his breath humid and warm against your collarbone. His shoulders relaxed a bit, and you knew that the worst of it had passed. Still, as another crack of thunder and flash of lightning hit, he’d jolt, and stiffen up. One of his legs curled around yours and his arm came around your waist, his shoulder resting just in the middle of your ribcage.

As you thought of what must be running through his mind, your grip on him tightened. If you could take it away and give him only dreams of joy and love, free of heartache, you would. As he finally dozed off, you sighed. You relaxed back into your pillows, the restlessness finally leaving you, and drifted off to sleep.

#benny miller x y/n #benny miller x female reader #benny miller fanfiction #benny miller imagine #benny miller x reader #benny miller fanfic #benny miller #triple frontier fanfic #triple frontier fic #triple frontier imagine #triple frontier au #garrett hedlund imagine #garrett hedlund #sunshine state

[derelictheretic]

OC TAG GAME

Tagged by @socially-awkward-skeleton @strangefae and @detectivelokis !! Ty 💕💕💕

Not quite sure whose done this since i've been. absent. so i'mma send tags out to @deputyash @bluemojave @adelaidedrubman @bl-beater @jollybone @clicheantagonist @florbelles @unholymilf @henbased @ishwaris @megraen @shellibisshe @trashcatsnark @v0idbuggy @wewillryesagain No pressure as always !!

Favourite OC

Currently I would say Lola is holding that spot, she's fun to draw and write for and I just spin her in my brain like a rotisserie chicken all day she brings me so much joy to think about. She's also my first transfem OC so she,,,,, is so special 2 me <3

My consistent faves of all time tho are my boy Damien (my half demon half vamp man), my girl Lucy (She is a unicorn shifter and I Adore she sooooo much) and ofc my creacher Dean uvu

Oldest OC

Damien!! He's from my first original story I ever made and I've had him for 7 to 8 years!! He rotates in my head forever even tho I barely talk about him 👉👈 His story has changed a few times but his design has stayed pretty consistent! He means the world to me and so does his story and one day I will bring it to life ashsjsjs

Newest OC

That would be Lola!!!! I'd been wanting another unhinged lady to play around with and felt like having a pink murder lady as well and thus Lola was born 🥺 She brings serotonin and I love playing around with her relationships with the other characters!

Meanest OC

Hmmm this is a tough one but it's probably Heather! Heather is actively mean on purpose and loves her passive aggression and tearing people down through her words. She smiles while pointing out all ur insecurities and faults and will laugh if u cry <3 bestest worstie wife ever <333

I have a few other mean OC's like Rilo (Demon lord) but he's on a much bigger scale of wanting to commit genocide against all supernatural creatures soooo he's just like evil less so just mean. Very smile in ur face while he obliterates ur very atoms kinda vibe,, hate him so <3

Softest OC

This is impossible I have too many softies,, But probably Lucy! She's a pacifist and just has the biggest heart, she's very empathetic and always wants to help people even if there is nothing she can do in a situation. She also is just very soft in nature like she has a gentle touch and soft voice and sweet eyes that will make u cry and tell her all ur problems while she holds u.

Most aloof/standoffish

I have a few of these too lol I'd say it's a tie between Michael, Silas (Eldritch horror slasher) or Pheonix (Marvel OC besties with Wade). Silas probably wins because he doesn't tolerate talking to humans in any circumstance and just seeing him tends to send people running. Silent, brooding, grumpy eldritch horror man my beloved.

Smartest OC

I have a sentient AI OC called HEXX and he has knowledge from all across the galaxy (being an AI for a spaceship he needs it lol) so I'd say that'd be him! Ask him anything and he has the answer, just don't ask him about love bc he will have his 1010th identity crisis and the ship will suffer it's 1010th failing and emergency landing :)

Dumbest (affectionate) OC

Hmmm i'm gonna say my baby boy Ky bc he's my literal himbo lmao He has zero thoughts in his pretty little head!! Only loving friends and having fun!!!! Golden retriever boy only know eat hot food and love everyone!!!!! No but he genuinely is so,, so stupid,,, the one thing he can somehow do on his own is cook, baking is off limits he will burn down the kitchen......

OC's I'd be friends with irl

I have a few I think it'd get along with so I'll narrow it down to three!

Piper; We would vibe in a makeshift tree house and play video games and I'd listen to her gush over women (Faith) for hours and she'd judge my horrid taste in men <3 She'd probably also beat me in poker and steal all my money.

Fredrick; my genderfluid god would take me to so many concerts and drag me across the country to get something they bought off of eBay and I would have a blast.

My lil tech nerd Keiden; he likes coding and games, I can kind of code and like games, it just makes sense. We'd play raft and Minecraft and make epic structures and talk about what we would do different with the game mechanics.

#nervous about putting my non fandom ocs I always feel self concious talking abt them lol #but I love them and I wanna talk about them more........ #misc: tag game #oc: Lola Darling #oc: Michael Sinclaire #oc: Piper Vasquez #oc: Damien Bryne #oc: Lucy Collins #oc: Fredrick Collins #oc: Heather Lucille Valentine #oc: Rilo #oc: Ky Cartier

[succubusphan]

Two Man Team - Chapter 1

Summary: This is the story of two struggling friends who after many trials and tribulations find their way back to each other and build the life they've always dreamed of.

Or how Phil changed his life by talking to random strangers on the internet.

Rating: E

Tags/warnings: Friends to lovers, Friends with benefits, mental health issues (mainly anxiety), Slow burn, Dan is a psych student. Canon divergence (the timeline is altered and some things never happened), Slutty Phil, Angst with a happy ending. The fic spans many years.

Author's Note: Written for the OSPBB 2023 @oldschoolpbb. Thank you @effingmeteors for being my life saviour and beta as usual and to my artist Lin @anironsidh.

Edits and the art will be added at some point, we are busy bees.

POSTING EVERY DAY UNTIL IT'S COMPLETED.

Total Word Count: 75k ish

Read on Ao3

CHAPTER 1: Somebody to Love

June 2005

Phil threw himself onto his bed and looked around at his neon green walls and carpet thinking how little time he had left in his childhood bedroom. He had one last summer in his hometown before uprooting his entire life and moving to York for uni. It was weird, in a way, to be in this sort of limbo where his basic education was over; he no longer felt like a child but didn’t feel like an adult either. It could be because he didn’t feel like he was fully himself, not to anyone he knew - not even his friends.

Could he really call them his friends if they didn’t know who he truly was, if he couldn’t share his attraction to boys like the others shared their crushes on girls and their flings? Maybe it wasn’t fair to think of them as near strangers, it was not their fault that he didn’t feel ready to talk about it. They had all been there for him his entire childhood and he still wasn’t ready. That was on him.

On the other hand, York presented him with a new opportunity, a chance to live his true life and finally get a boyfriend. That’s all he wanted, just - someone to cuddle with. Ok, also other stuff, but he wanted a proper boyfriend. It didn’t hurt to start looking now though.

Phil sat up and reached for his laptop, lifting the screen and connecting to the internet. He clicked on the Explorer icon and waited for everything to load for a few minutes. He logged into a random Yahoo chat room as per usual and greeted the 60 strangers chatting and sending emojis in the hopes of catching someone’s attention.

Snowdude: Hi. Anyone around 18? ;)

A private window popped up immediately.

DanTheMan: hi snowdude XD i’m dan

Snowdude: Hi. als?

DanTheMan: 16/m/reading. u?

Phil hesitated for a moment. It wasn’t often that dudes messaged him. Still, “Dan” was too young and still in school. Well, he didn’t have anything better to do than speak to him.

Snowdude: 18 m York. Are you in school?

DanTheMan: yeah just the A lvls to go. What’s ur favourrtie game?

Phil’s eyebrows shot up at the typo and he snorted. 

Snowdude: Final Fantasy 7 is ace.

DanTheMan: ace XD favourite show?

Snowdude: Buffy obviously. What is this, an interview? What’s your favourite subject in school?

DanTheMan: ouch, geography and psych and theatre.

Snowdude: hate geo, you act?

DanTheMan: don’t laugh. i always have but i’m cool.

Snowdude: nothing wrong with it. I’m a terrible actor. 

Looking at his ceiling, Phil felt bad for making Dan feel insecure by bringing up school, pointedly marking their age difference. He knew what it was like to be looked down upon by the older kids. He quickly typed another message.

Snowdude: I signed up to art because I thought it would be easy and almost failed. Seems like i suck at art.

DanTheMan: ROFL. ur weird.

DanTheMan: let’s be friends.

Snowdude: Lesbifriends

DanTheMan: forget it lol. I regret asking.

Snowdude: noooooooooooo 

DanTheMan: i have to go my mums calling. add me on msn i’m [email protected]

Snowdude: Rawr xD. ACe. Good luck with homework

DanTheMan: fuckoff with your capitalistion and good grammra ttyl

And just like that, Dan exited their chat. Phil smiled and logged into MSN, hesitating only for a second before adding his new friend.

Ian opened their conversation with a buzz as per usual and invited him over to play games with the girls. He hesitated, but another notification popped up and it brought a smile to his face.

GoThic chiK (Anja): coming or not phL?

Phil rolled his eyes, at least Anja would be there and even if he didn’t like girls like that, Anja was always cool. She was like a girl, but also not. Well, she was a girl of course, but she felt like a guy, but not - like him. He didn’t fit in as the kind of man his dad wanted to see in his son and Anja didn’t impress her mother either. Maybe they were losers but they still had each other.

Phil Strikr: omw Annie tell Ian

GoTik chiK (Anja): told you to stop butcherin ma name.

Phil laughed and sent her a buzz before logging out and getting into his favourite blue jeans and a green T-shirt.

--

The night went by in a breeze, with loads of pizza, drinking and a few rounds of TEG that ended in disaster. He mostly enjoyed it until the topic of dating came up yet again. All the guys had some sort of girlfriend or arrangement and Phil had barely anything to show for. For the umpteenth time, Phil considered coming out to them but he could never bring himself to do it. Maybe one of these days when he was drunk enough.

“Phil, Phil!” Someone said.

Anja snapped her fingers in front of his eyes, startling him and causing him to drop the dice he had been shaking for who knows how long. “Mate, what is it with you today?”

“Uh, nothing. I was just thinking about Buffy,” he said.

Anja gave him a look that let him know she was not buying it, but the rest rolled their eyes and continued with their conversation. For a moment Phil thought he was off the hook but Ian looked at him expectantly.

“What?” Phil asked.

Ian sighed heavily. “Sandra asked about you again, mate. When are you going to ask her out?”

Phil tried not to look like a deer caught in the headlights. “I think it would be weird to date your cousin, we are like brothers at this point.”

Ian snorted and shook his head. “We are like brothers but not actually. It’s not like incest or anything.”

“Ew, don’t say that,” Phil said, paling at the thought of Sandra and her wandering hands. He was not going to repeat the mistake of asking her out. One sloppy kiss was more than enough.

Richard, Noah and Keith laughed at the face he pulled but Ian merely smiled at him.

“Oi! Phil is mine, let him be,” Anja said, shuffling closer to him and resting her hand on his thigh.

Phil’s eyes widened but she gave him a small wink before looking back at their friends.

“What? Are you his girlfriend now?” asked Richard with a frown.

“Yeah,” she said, looking uncomfortable at the question. Anja didn’t like Richard like that, she loved him as a friend, but he had a huge crush on her and he was terrible at hiding it. Phil didn’t need to read her mind to know she didn’t want to break his heart or risk their friendship but it was bound to happen eventually.

Wrapping his arm around Anja’s waist loosely, he set his head on her shoulder. “Tell Sandra I’m taken,” Phil said and Anja relaxed against him, letting her head gently rest on his.

Richard looked disappointed but didn’t press the issue any further.

Eventually, the board games stopped being fun and the alcohol ran out so they declared the party over. As soon as Phil said goodbye and stood from his spot Anja followed him, making the others laugh and howl at them, half whispering about what they were going to do in Phil’s bedroom.

Once they were out, Phil turned to look at her. “Do you want me to walk you home?” He asked, hopefully.

“Nah, I was expecting to crash in your bed.” She began the walk back home and Phil followed her.

“What?” Phil squeaked.

Anja laughed and turned towards him, but her eyes looked a bit misty. “Don’t be daft, it’s not that.” She poked him gently, looking into his eyes. “I just feel sad and I don’t wanna be alone right now. I know I can trust you like that.” 

“Alright,” Phil said, still walking at her side. “Do you want to talk about it? What happened?”

Anja looked away from him, her eyes focusing on the moon for a moment as she spoke. “I was dating someone but they are not sure about it anymore and it sucks.”

Phil stopped walking and pulled her into a hug. “An- you know you can tell me anything, come stay with me too.”

“I know.” She returned the hug tightly only for a moment before stepping back. “Come on!” She said, grabbing his hand and pulling him along. “Kath will be fuming if we are not there before midnight.”

He snorted and laced their fingers together. “I’ll tell my mum you call her Kath behind her back one day, you know?”

“Meh,” Anja shrugged. “She loves me. I’ll live.”

They stayed silent for most of the 20 minute walk home and had to sneak in, but soon enough they were in his room. Phil gave Anja a big T-shirt and a pair of joggers and slipped into his own pyjamas while she changed in the bathroom. 

Five minutes later they were looking up at the ceiling as they lay under the covers in the small bed.

“Hey, Phil?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think Richard will get over his crush eventually?”

Phil turned on his side to look at her. “Probably, he has gotten over the others.”

She nodded. “Are you seeing anyone that you haven’t told us about?” she asked in a drastic change of topic.

Phil sputtered. “As if anyone would be interested.”

“You have pretty eyes and perfect eyebrows. I wish I had your eyebrows,” Anja said. “You should dye your hair black though, it would make your eyes pop.”

“I don’t know… Would you do it for me?”

“Of course, ginge,” She laughed.

“I’m not a ginger!” Phil whined.

“Course not.” She poked at his stomach. “Good night.”

“Good night, An,” he said and shut his eyes, letting sleep claim him.

---

It was a weird summer. Anja remained sad for the majority of it but refused to talk about her boyfriend, choosing to focus on giving Phil an extreme makeover instead. She dyed his hair black, took him to the mall to pick up black skinny jeans and to the stylist that had given her her emo haircut to tame his mane.

By the end of it, Phil had perfected a nice image for his MySpace page. He had even ventured into eyeliner for some pictures when he’d gotten bored waiting for Anja to get ready for a party. He’d enjoyed the results and even Ian and the guys said it looked cool on him. Even Dan thought he looked really cool when he saw the pics.

He got to talk to Dan quite a few times as well before going off to uni and caught up with life. It was amazing to learn that they were actually super compatible, liking many of the same games, music and shows. The best part was that Dan said there was a chance he would go to York like him so they could hang out and Phil liked the sound of that, even if Dan was still a full year away from it. Dan was honestly super cool and Phil really had come to consider him a friend in the last few months so it would be super fun to have someone close to hang out and play games with. It sounded like a great plan.

Daydreaming about their potential meet-up was a nice distraction from Dan’s home life, which seemed to be in constant turmoil as Phil came to find over time. There was a reason Dan barely mentioned his younger brother and he had vaguely complained about his father’s rage issues, so Phil always let Dan talk first, and let whatever was troubling him be aired so that he could offer his support or advice if it was needed. Phil also shared some of his issues and insecurities, but his problems were not nearly as bad as Dan’s so he tried to keep things on the positive side and help Dan out.

But Phil wasn’t expecting to catch Dan in a lie only weeks later. As it turned out, Dan had never been 16, he was a 14 year old kid. It was a silly lie, but it still hurt Phil, so he asked Dan to never lie to him again. Dan was very apologetic and begged him not to break their friendship, which Phil had briefly considered, but decided against, especially because of the kind of bullying Dan suffered at school on the regular. After the initial shock had worn off, Phil reassured him that they could be friends, even if they would have to be long distance.

Dan deserved to have supportive friends. He needed someone to be there for him and Phil knew he could be that someone. At an appropriate distance, of course.

It was a bit of a rough patch between them, but after they had resolved the issue, life went on as usual. Phil dived head first into his uni life and there were so many changes. He moved into the dorm and met new people at uni, but sadly, he wasn’t able to stay in touch with his friends back home as much as he’d have liked due to his schedule. In a way, he had inadvertently severed most contact with his life back home, but no matter how much things changed, some stayed the same: his lack of a love life and being trapped in the closet.

He decided that it was time to take his life by the horns and that marked the beginning of a new chapter for him, an exploring phase of sorts. After some consideration, he opened a profile on a dating website, hoping to find a nice guy he could date. His new look did seem to help a lot, but his popularity applied mostly to MySpace. The dating scene seemed a bit dry, or maybe he was just too awkward. There weren't a bunch of messages flooding his inbox by any means.

To be honest, he was starting to get really discouraged, thinking he would never meet someone, but his luck finally changed on a mighty weekend when in a hidden corner of a pub, he got his first taste of freedom. He was blonde and tall and three years older than Phil and his lips were on Phil’s, quickly taking him to heaven, making his blood rush south and his stomach tingle. His hands were inside Phil’s T-shirt and struggling with his jeans’ zipper in less than five minutes. It wasn’t too rough or something that Phil didn’t want, but the speed of it all scared him a bit. It was too much too soon and he wasn’t ready even though he wanted to be, so he took a step back and apologised.

“I’m sorry,” he said, still trying to catch his breath. “Listen, I’m not out yet, not even to my friends back home, my new uni friends or my roommates.”

The guy nodded and smiled at him. “That’s alright,” he said. “Could I get your phone number? Maybe we can meet up some other time.”

Phil nodded and saved it in the other’s phone, but he was not going to trick himself into thinking he was going to get a text. His chances were slim.

They parted ways with a quick kiss, which surprised Phil. He let out a deep sigh as he watched the blonde disappear into the crowd and surveyed the pub in search of his friends. 

Towering over most people did come in handy and allowed him to locate his roommates in under a minute. Phil tried to put on a brave smile as he made his way to them and accepted a beer, taking a zip and groaning at the bitter taste. It was performative and he knew it, but he didn’t know what else to do, so he followed along with what everyone was doing. He got drunk - and even made out with a girl briefly just out of boredom. 

He felt nothing, nothing at all, but his roommates cheered him on and the girl seemed happy enough. 

That made one of them.

--

Once back in his room, Phil put his phone to charge and turned it on. There were a few missed calls and texts from Dan, asking if he was free to talk. Phil got a bad feeling about it and tried to call him but Dan didn’t pick up. Maybe it was too late and he had fallen asleep. Biting the inside of his cheek, Phil hesitated before sending a text.

“I’m sorry I missed your calls, I was out until just now and my phone had died X.x . I’m free to talk in the morning!”

Phil lay in bed for what seemed like forever, the room spinning a bit around him, as he thought about the blonde guy, the boring night, the girl he kissed - and Dan. He wished he would have stayed home and talked to Dan, maybe played some games, or talked about school. It was sad that he got along better with a 14 year old than his own friends. What did that say about him? He fell into a fitful night of sleep just as the sun rose above the clouds.

The talk with Dan didn’t come the next day, or the following one. In fact, Dan stopped replying entirely for over a week and Phil’s stomach was twisted into knots. Over twenty messages unanswered could only mean bad news, right?

The following weekend, Phil sent yet another text: “Please, Dan. Just let me know that you are ok.”

Ten minutes later, his phone finally vibrated. “im ok. stop.”

Phil’s eyes welled up with tears. “I’m so sorry, Dan. I’ve been worried about you. I went out and had so many calls and missed texts, I thought something had happened and you needed to talk. It’s ok if you don’t want to, I just didn’t want you to think that I didn’t care. Sorry I missed your call.”

His screen lit up with a call immediately and Dan’s raspy voice greeted him on the other side. “Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s ok,” Phil said, trying to calm himself down, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. He swallowed thick and attempted a small smile, even if Dan could not see it. “What did you want to talk about?”

Dan was silent for a moment, but then he let out a tired sigh. “Nothing much, it’s fine.”

“You can tell me, you know you can,” Phil said with a frown.

“Last weekend I went to the mall and I had some problems with the usual shitheads…” he trailed off.

“Did they throw rocks at you again?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t care. And on Monday -” Dan paused.

“What happened on Monday?” Phil asked, frowning at the pain he could hear in Dan’s voice.

“One of the idiots grabbed me by the neck and slapped me for like 5 minutes,” Dan mumbled. “And I know what you’re going to say, one of the teachers saw and did nothing. He even laughed.”

“Dan,” Phil said, his heart breaking for his friend. “I’m so sorry, you don’t deserve any of that. I wish I could be there to help you.”

“It’s fine,” Dan said in a monotone voice. “I didn’t react, I didn’t want to give them that satisfaction.”

“It takes a lot of courage not to fight back. You were very brave.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Dan muttered. “Almost gave them another satisfaction.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m so tired sometimes, you know? Just so tired.” Then, Dan cleared his throat. “Anyway, I’ve been staying with my grandma since Tuesday, so I’m ok.”

Phil had to clear his throat too, trying not to get choked up by what Dan was implying. “You have to get good grades so you can get into uni and we can hang out, ok?”

Dan snorted. “As if you would hang out with me. You’re cool and I’m just a 14 year old loser.”

“You’re not a loser. You’re kind, and funny, and one of the coolest people I know. I know that one day you will be a great guy. Maybe you’ll be a famous actor, like you’ve always wanted.”

“Yeah… maybe,” Dan said. “Wanna play Mario Kart later? I have homework.”

Phil looked at the time, it was already late, but a few races wouldn’t hurt. “Sure. Text me when you’re done.”

“Thanks, Phil,” Dan said and Phil could picture a little smile on his face.

“No problem. See you later.”

“Yeah. Hey, can I follow your MySpace?” Dan asked.

“You can follow me anywhere,” Phil said. “We are friends.”

“Yeah, ok,” Dan snorted. “See you later, Philly.”

Phil rolled his eyes and hung up the phone.

Letting out a deep sigh, he decided to do the “adult thing” and study a little more for the exam he had the following morning so that he could join Dan online later. It was not a lot, but he felt better now that Dan knew Phil was on his side and he cared.

That night, Phil stayed on his DS until 4, but he managed to get a passing grade on the exam anyway. He rewarded himself with a 10 hour nap afterwards.

--

All through his first term at uni, Phil tried his best to keep in touch with Dan, but with his tight study schedule, the weekends pretending to be straight and attempting to not stress himself half to death with his new chaotic life, it was getting increasingly difficult.

Before long, Phil had to make a drastic choice. Something needed to change and he knew exactly what was the worst stressor for him: his straight-sex-maniac persona. And so it was decided. 

He invited his four roommates to their very limited common space and paced in the square foot of floor he had available to himself waving his hands around without uttering a word until one of the guys asked if he was ok. 

No, Phil was not ok at all, he was nearly crawling up the wall, so instead of giving a carefully planned and rehearsed speech, he stopped short of the wall, turned around and said: “I lied… I am not super experienced, I don’t have a lot of sex experience. In fact, I have zero experience, because… because I’m gay. I’m sorry that I lied, I just wanted you guys to like me, you are all so cool. I wanted to be your friend. I didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand. I-”

Peter got up from the armrest of the sofa, causing Phil to take a step back just in case, and gave him a hard pat on the shoulder. “It’s ok. We are all figuring things out,” he said. “Also, Sarah will be happy to know that you are not disgusted by her presence, you’re just thick as all fuck and gay. Right, Sarah?”

“You like me?” Phil squeaked, turning towards the popular blonde girl. She was super nice and also pretty, but she was still not a guy, so there was not even a chance.

“I do. I did, but it’s ok. We can be friends,” she said with a smile.

“We can?” Phil croaked.

Sarah nodded. “You’re a good guy, Phil. Why wouldn’t I want to be your friend? And the fact that you are not opposed to a little makeup also plays in your favour.”

Peter clapped once and rushed to the fridge. He got the Malibu out of the freezer, messily pouring the alcohol into various glasses and mugs and other liquid-holding implements before turning around to face the group and raising his glass. “To Phil, the gayest emo York has ever seen - and a good friend too!” He downed his drink without waiting for anyone else.

Sarah walked over to the kitchenette and grabbed a shot glass, raising it towards Phil with an encouraging smile. “Cheers,” she said and downed her drink. She then passed a repurposed laundry detergent cap full of Malibu to Phil. 

“Thank you,” he said, hoping that his eyes could convey the gratitude he felt. “Cheers,” he said and drank the entire thing.

Jimmy and Callan, who had been quiet until now, stood from the sofa and grabbed a mug each, raising them to Phil. 

“To Phil, the gay emo,” said Callan with a smirk.

“We can still be friends even if you’re gay and your willy is bigger than all of ours,” Jimmy said with a nod and necked his drink.

Phil laughed. “Stop talking about my dick, Jimmy. You saw nothing!”

“I will when it stops looking back at me every time you sit,” Jimmy cackled. 

Phil threw the laundry detergent cap at his head, hitting the target and causing the group to laugh.  Hours later, he crawled into his tiny bed and felt the effects of all the alcohol he had consumed rock him gently, like the waves in the sea. He let out a sigh of relief, a smile appearing on his lips as he remembered how the night had started. His coming out had been awkward but still a success. Now he could truly be himself, at least in York, and he couldn’t wait until he was able to live his life fully everywhere.

#phanfic #phanfiction #phan #succubusphan fics #dan and phil #phan au #ospbb 2023

[geekedoutbunny]

i fucking hate u herms (affectionate) but ur writing are so <333 (ily/p)

so since noria already wrote abt the main 3 being a yandere..what if we reverse it around and the reader BECOME the yandere for them themself? like we just try to keep your yandereness a secret but they somehow found out?

and ofc the Gerard, Askin, Hime, and Quilge

im a yandere whore leave me alone

Gerard\Askin\Orihime\Quilge Headcanon - Crazed Love

😘❤

Yandere reader huh? Interesting, interesting. I'll see what I can do for you!! Thank you, for sending in this request, I'll be sure to bring it justice, hopefully, it's to your liking.

MASTER LIST | NSFW CONTENT

Gerard

He honestly would never notice, he'd just think that you're extremely protective, possessive and just insecure. He'll try and keep you happy by always staying close to you and always reassuring you that he was the strongest of the quincies and that you're the most beautiful soul he ever met.

He'll never think twice about the fact that you have pictures of him all over your room, he'll never think twice about the fact that you keep sharp knives in the house, he'll never think twice about any of it. He won't even know that it's an issue until someone like Jugram or Nodt brings it to his attention, that you're a little weird. He'll brush them off, saying that they were disrespecting you.

But he will admit, that you were a little strange.

Orihime

She wouldn't notice for quite a while, it'll never make her concern or worried, simply because nobody ever came over. Even at school, she'll never think twice about the fact that you practically threatens Ichigo and Uryu 24/7. She will just think that you were just extra protective of her.

She won't start thinking that it's strange and concerning, until you openly admit that you wanted Uryu dead. She'll lecture you on why you shouldn't want that, and why you shouldn't even think of it. But you'll argue with her, and she'll argue with you back. It'll go back and forth until you reveal your true emotions, and then she'll understand.

She'll want her distance from you for a while, thoughts of her brother when he turned into a hollow will cross her mind, but eventually she'll come to terms with the fact that you weren't that monster, and that you were just madly in love and just didn't understand how to be in a proper relationship. So she'll help you.

Step by step, you'll become more relaxed, it was a slow process, but she was willing to work with you.

Askin

He'll notice almost immediately, and he won't like it. He'll give you one warning and one warning only. "Nobody owns me, but myself, and if you ever try, I'll kill you." He always kept his promises. You'd get slightly possessive, but never to where he deems you as a threat, just enough to roll his eyes.

He won't mind you much, and he'll even find you comforting in a way, since you never changed, you were like a sense of normalcy in his life, but the moment you try and take complete control of his life, that's when he'll draw a line, and you won't get a warning, it'll just be immediate decapitation.

Quilge

He'll notice it immediately, and he'll laugh at you. He'll laugh the heartiest laugh, before he shows you what a real yandere looks like. He'll keep you locked in a basement and will only come down when he misses you or when you need food and water. Once he feels that you're an obedient pet he'll let you walk around the house, but if you have any guests over he'll lock you away immediately, he didn't want anyone looking at you.

He'll remind you everyday that you weren't your own person, you were his and his alone, and once he was tired of you, he'll slaughter you.

MASTER LIST | NSFW CONTENT

#bleach #bleach tybw #bleach tybw x (y/n) #bleach x (y/n) #bleach tybw x reader #bleach x reader #bleach tybw fanfiction #bleach fanfiction #bleach gerard #gerard fluff #gerard x reader #gerard valkyrie #bleach askin #askin fluff #askin x reader #askin nakk le vaar #bleach orihime #orihime fluff #orihime x reader #orihime inoue

[rinhaler]

The anon who just found out u were fuwushiguro here!!

Yes I absolutely understand the frustration from not performing as well with follower count to likes ratio - as an artist who used to be quite popular and likes went from thousands to only like seventy. At some point you feel like you’re not doing it for you, but actually for others. I’m happy you realised the happiness can come from writing and not only hate.

The friend who left you I can also relate to a bit, my ex best friend of 6 years also left me quite recently and it was like there was an empty hole in me because even if you’re not friends anymore, your brain can’t quite handle the change. I’m so sorry that happened to you, but the greatest challenge is to not only hold yourself to one person but to be open and try new possibilities, and that’s what you’ve seemed to done! You have new friends, new mental attitude, and a brand new beautiful blog (that I love the theme of btw!!!) You’re doing great and will continue to do so, because if there are 100 rinhaler fans I’m one of them, if there are 10 rinhaler fans I’m one of them and if there are none, I’m dead.

Also to the question you had, idk it’s just the way you describe certain things..? It’s hard to explain, I have about 50 fanfic blogs that I really love the writing of and fuwushiguro was one of them. Your world building, character description as well as development, SO GOOD!! And your wusyaname series was amazing, I used to check your blog religiously for any updates, and I’m happy you’re reuploading them here bc now I’m gonna reread them every week!

Also the way you wrote yuuji in the aita!sukuna fic was extremely similar to the first few chapters in wusyaname before he goes on that trip (if I remember right)

Have a great day/night :D

omg ARTIST AAAAAA im obsessed I'd love to see your stuff if you ever feel comfortable sharing with me sometime but no pressure ofc! I know it's very personal! ive been trying to get more into art but im finding it hard to balance practicing art stuff and writing. I also have massive art insecurity bc I don't think I'm good enough (same with my writing) so I totally understand if u wanna keep it all to yourself but go you for being a talented babe <3

interactions on tumblr suck and I'm starting to be able to tell myself it's purely luck what performs well and what doesn't, so I'm finding it a lot easier to write things I actually want to write now rather than what I think my followers will like.

Also yeah in regard to my friend, we were online friends and we'd only known each other for around two years but god i adored her and i still do tbh. I think about her and our memories all of the time we were so so close so her decision to just randomly cut me off really hurt. I'd love to talk to her again but I know I have to respect her decision and I wish her the best!

It's been a good opportunity to get back into writing so at least something nice has come from something so sad. And I love this little space so much! I'm glad you like my theme! It was greenish at first n i was like nope this aint the one i am a pink girl through and through!

ALSO AAAA THE WAY IM BLUSHING ABT AITA YUUJI BEING LIKE WUSYANAME YUUJI UR SO RIGHT 😩 definitely not intentional but god maybe i missed him more than i thought! I'm so excited to be reposting it though it's going to be like living through the magic of it all again and hearing what everyone thinks and stuff! I haven't read it in so long so I feel like I'm right there with you all hehehe

anyway thank you for supporting me always ur literally the best i adore u pls take care of urself mwah mwah mwah

#💌 — luxe mail

[medievalcellphone]

leo sun … aries moon ……. sag rising. cancer venus ….

hahahah whoa. surely you are incredibly passionate about whatever it is you like. people places things concepts. vibes. etc etc.

sun moon and rising in all fire placements is always crazy like sometimes they will be the quietest mfs you've met and sometimes they will be the most obviously owns a leopard print coat probably 3 person you'll ever meet. cancer venus.........................tell me ur mercury and mars i must know

um okay so the sun is the way we find our will to be ourselves. basically. consciousness. copernican ego centrism. its like, what motivates us, pulls our personality through life, lets us recognize who we want to be. leo is ruled by the sun, and imo is the most self conscious/self aware sign because of that... every leo i've known has been very different but always, undoubtedly, the most ~i'm here to be my self~ sort of person. like. you are heartfelt, you don't want to mislead people, you want freedom of self expression (and with an aries moon!) basically you want to be seen for who you are. even if its painful or hard or scary. i think leos are so brave as a sign. there is also the whole people can't help but love them thing.

i would assume you are dramatic for better or for worse and reactive about certain little things but in a way that doesn't cause too much internal angst, you might get super heated and then a couple hours pass and you don't remember why. you are not too self important but also know your sense of worth, sag risings are always obsessed with a bunch of different unique things, combined with leo sun you probably actually the drive to follow those things. don't doubt it. there is a sense of general optimism and kindness that adorns this combo.

like i was saying in another ask a sag rising will take u on the most fun little adventure ever. even if its not literal. like forcing enthusiasm of interest on someone bc u know they will love it and they do. or like sending the best playlist ever that changes ones music taste for the better. or. literally ending up wading through a marsh on a lovely spring day. sag risings are on an eternal quest to learn, you have the presence of self and magnetism to really do what you want. this is a chart that makes me think u are inherently blessed with artistic talent maybe photography or concocting narratives or music. Also, you have to be the biggest animal person like whoa !

aries moons are quick to react... fast twitch brains. your experience of life is very truthful. u gotta make sure to balance reason with emotion when reacting to anything. you might be very insecure in a way you keep deeply hidden, you might wanna prove yourself a little too much. trust people, but don't let people take advantage of your kindness. you might have a hard time keeping in touch with people or making big promises that don't come to fruition. make sure you actually listen to the advice you say you already know about. (that goes for aries suns and risings as well)

okay but yeah at times maybe u are quite temperamental. leos and aries both just hate being wrong. i think sometimes it takes a long time to learn your lesson. like its a trial by error thing. you love people very intensely. like that cancer venus also. changeable but steadfast. you might be so busy searching for security that you end up with a series of wrong people out of impulsivity. but when you find people you connect with thats lifelong.

a song another song and a movie for u

#i will do more tomorrow i hope and maybe be quicker but rec more stuff....

[menalez]

ngl i understand what that anon meant by western radfems and asian radfems being completely opposite mindsets, however i do take the side of asian radfems and think they are doing superior activism lol many radfems on here will accuse others of being blackpilled (whatever that means don't know don't care) if they say they anything negative about women being in relationships with men, we get told that if we don't include those women's actions into our feminism then it's not radical and we're just raging misogynists who want all women and their boyfriends to die, which isn't true - we mainly just want their boyfriend to die lol i'm probably biased because i'm originally from indonesia and was treated like dogshit by the men in that country, was beaten daily and forced to cover my entire body despite not even being muslim, but i think asian radfems from places like south korea, taiwan and china, while they are called more extreme than western radfems, are definitely are getting things done in a way we might not ever be able to here in the west simply because most are or are forced to be too dang nice to everyone and don't want to upset or alienate other women. there's a reason radical feminism is considered the only feminism of those countries and why liberal feminism is the main feminism of the west, because even in radical feminism we're being told by others we have to accept women into our movement that are not doing anything radical. there's nothing radical about being with your oppressor (a man) or having their child, women who are upset by asian radfems sound a lot like they're insecure or projecting or hate feeling guilt. i look up to asian radfems a lot and i'm incredibly happy to see more of them coming on here and posting, even if their words might upset many women on radblr i find their words very comforting and relatable *shrug*

pretty sure the blackpilled accusation comes when the person being called that starts saying vile things like calling women misogynistic slurs, saying women deserve to be raped, laughing at women for being abused, etc and acting like women are inferior + patriarchy is somehow biologically innate or w/e. if people are throwing it at separatists then they simply do not seem to understand the words bc a lot of separatists ive come across are of the belief that its NOT inescapable and think that separatism is a potential route to pushing men to see our importance & change accordingly. to some that may be too radical, but im not seeing any smarter alternatives. there's little to no radical feminist action to be found in the west whereas in the east, even in the worst countries for women youll see women finding ways to practice separatism.

i wish ppl would understand that "its not feminist to wear makeup" does also apply to other things too. its not feminist to have kids or marry men or date men etc. do u deserve to be abused, berated, put down, harassed, etc if u do such things? no. is it feminist? also no. not everything has to be a feminist action. no one is a perfect feminist and is feminist 24/7. the exhausting aspect of it is these women cannot accept that, they have to whine and hate on separatism overall and act like there's its just impossible despite the fact that women in the east show us otherwise.

also same! and im sorry for what u went thru in indonesia <3 i faced abuse almost daily from boys in bahrain growing up myself but it sounds like ur situation was extremely dire. i hope ur out and safe now

[tojikai]

hi so here’s my analysis. I’ve been reading PM since the first chapter and it’s what I look forward to every week. UR SO GOOD AT WRITING HEAVY EMOTION AND I COULD LEARN FROM U!! ANYWAYS, from each chapter we can see that despite PM!Satoru having sincere yet overwhelming feelings for y/n, he is impulsive and self centered.

He probably still has feelings for y/n, but still sticks by and defends Rie bc he hates being wrong. PM!Satoru probably over exaggerates his decision to choose Rie, despite it being impulsive and stupid. He needs his friends to accept his new relationship, he needs y/n to accept it. To reassure him that he was right for leaving. But now he’s in denial because deep down he KNOWS he’s wrong but he’s refusing to admit it.

Honestly, Satoru could be endgame. But I can’t help but think how different their relationship would be when they get back together. I have forgiven a cheater before, and I would spend the rest of our relationship on edge. Always checking the other girls socials. Always looking for signs or ANYTHING. It’s honestly so so bad to live thru, and I pray y/n won’t experience that.

But I guess that could be why your story is called “Permanent Mark”. Satoru could redeem himself, but this will leave a very deep scar on his and y/n’s relationship. Even his relationship with Suguru and Shoko. Although Satoru isn’t to blame for y/n’s insecurities and relapse, his actions were the catalyst to everything that happened. Again, he was impulsive, self centered and insensitive. It affirmed y/n’s beliefs that she isn’t enough, replaceable or unworthy of people’s time and effort.

Yes, he couldn’t predict her relapse, but betrayal is betrayal. No matter how much he COULD change, y/n will never forget what he did to her. There will be less trust and she might even start jumping to the worst conclusions because of experience. Especially if he continues to act impulsively.

Thank you so much for writing PM!! Always looking forward to the next chapter <33

he really is impulsive 😭 like very. i really like this analysis, esp. the part where you said that it's permanent mark bc it will leave a scar on their rs :(( it's just so sad when you think about it. and im sorry that you had to go through that, i've been there before too and all i can say is that it really is the worst feeling that one could ever feel in a rs. just thinking about it sets my brain on fire :')) anyways, thank u so much for this <33 this is such an interesting read !! and please don't hesitate to reach out if u ever need help with writing. i'm no professional but I'd be happy to help :>

#🍭—kaitalks #f: permanent mark

[rarebritney]

i saw the post where you didnt want to say ur age and i just wanna say ur not old…. and when u do get old and get wrinkles life will still have beauty and be worth living and u are more than ur pretty face. u will still be lovely when its wrinkles. u are auch a lovely person and ur blog has been a touch stone and huge influence in my life since like 2015 and im sure others would agree!!!

Cont: srry if im taking the age thing too seriously but its a huge anxeity of mine as well and its such a debilitating thing and i wish we could be liberated from it and see growing older as a positive thing or at least not be obsessed with looking young. it hurts my heart so much. maybe its not that deep lol

Thank you so much for this!! I'm not proud of being insecure about aging, it seems like whenever I make any mention of my 2010s nostalgia people send me anons like "I thought you were exactly 20 years old" and it makes me feel weird! I've always looked young for my age so I deal with people thinking I'm younger than I am irl as well and I just don't like the idea of someone learning my age and it changing how they see me in some huge way... bc it really doesn't say as much about a person as some people think. There are very mature younger people and very immature older people etc and I really admire older women. I also feel like people on the internet think anyone over 24 is ancient and I hate that I want no part of it lol. But thank you so much, I know you're right!! And I never want to come off as someone anti aging or that I think older people aren't worth associating with. I just don't want to engage with the TikTok age standard if you think people older than college age are ancient leaf me alone pls

[bostonkreme]

I need 2 collect myself, they are all such genuine fine lambskin sluts. tuck me in bed & read me pierre lapin wtf. let’s do this

karl urban gets this unhinged murderous look on his face and I want him to direct it at me

frenchie mon coeur my good trainspotting bitch, are you even alive? I love you. I hate myself. If anything happened 2 u I’d bomb the national archives. c’mere i wanna shave something funny in ur hair. I know u took my fishnets but im not mad they obviously look great. alexa play nuxx by underworld before I START. SCREAMING. just kidding play that song by toulouse. I will risk it all & end up dead or incarcerated.

kimiko could make me do whatever she wanted, queen of cooking & dancing & murder. I wanna be her so bad. I will settle 4 adoring her

would also commit such serious crimes for mothers milk, he makes the slightest facial movement & I am on the edge of my seat. the tension when he pauses. he makes me wanna be a better person fr this is all so grey I’m fine

so so confusingly attracted to jack quaid, he’s exactly age appropriate & I love a well meaning comedic disaster, but…lineage. I know it’s you parent trap, I’ve got mail ok, I can’t look at you knowing I wanted to fuck your parents before I even knew what that meant. you look exactly like both of them get away from me

I’m upset about starlight going full instagram face. but I get it. everyone has filler, that’s not what I’m talking about. I understand that nose jobs are basically a welcome mat for an entertainment career, but when ppl in their 20s get buccal fat removal??? etc

it makes me sad, she was SO cute in jessica jones & is obviously gorgeous now, I just hope she’s okay later in life. I worry about people who seriously alter their faces super young!! fucking look at what they already did to dove cameron, for gods sake someone explain. I thought the point of cosmetic procedures & plastic surgery was to touch up what you already have AS you age or change something that makes you really insecure, but we are spitting out carbon copied barbies FULLY FACIALLY TRANSPLANTED BEFORE AGE 30 at a rate I cannot handle!!

discover the joy of playing with every weird kind of barbie why don’t u. how…what’s the long term testing on that much surgery in your 20s for purely cosmetic purposes? how does it hold up & affect your nerves? who was patient zero. do you realize what it looks like after a decade when a surgeon didn’t do your eyelids EXACTLY right? who wants to worry about that??

help I actually don’t know, I’m just frustrated in a way that is hard to articulate. obv I have my own image hang ups like we all do & I’m not saying erin moriarty specifically got a full head transplant & none of this is on her at all. she should do whatever & not have to explain it & when she shows up somewhere looking like this I’m like………

carry on madam, as u were, I would never even dream of challenging you??? I can handle that our eyes no longer both squint unevenly when we lopsidedly smile. and the outrageous editing, do ppl really always do that outside of photoshoots? yes. they do. wtf. none of these pictures match & you’re already so good looking. why must everyone have the exact same face without even the slightest defining characteristics. and almost everyone doing this was pretty much already industry standard gorgeous to begin with???

decided I’m going grey AND getting so much filler. I would like the sexy old witch package, just age me right up I’m tired. where in the hell was I going w this. oh jesus christ that’s right yeah I’d die 4 starlight like I do not have any notes for her I don’t think. god, so much happened I really don’t know

maeve. maeve?? QUEEN MAEVE. I will rip out every single inch of every single metro line with my bare hands & become the movie volcano. I will sink the entire eastern seaboard into the atlantic if you ever scare me like that again. love you.

the a-train storyline was like watching the writers meticulously craft two perfect beautiful puffy little cannolis & then when I’m about 2 cry at the sheer wonder of these pastries in front of me they shove them both in my ears at mach speed

antony starr is so gifted at making me hate him, I can’t even tell if he’d be attractive with brown hair bc the picture when I pause is too small and I’m already so afraid

I can’t look at chace crawford without thinking abt that girl who publicly shit herself in front of him, what a fucking queen, I know I have the screenshot somewhere bc I would never delete it. shelly miscavige is still missing btw

they gave black noir some dialogue & that was rly where they went with it. an episode that dealt so much additional trauma to my already fragile psyche that it straight up canceled out what I was already carrying around in real life. what if we all died with him in first person lmfao. my fucking synapses quit firing. I am no longer a girl, I’m a fucking iPod touch with a cracked screen playing map of tasmania by amanda palmer & I will remain this way probably at least thru the end of the week. do not plug me in or take me off repeat 1 okay just let me vibe, thank u

jensen. another very specific kind of ‘it’s 2005 and channel 3 the WB is blaring on my fatback tv with a huge antenna & we can’t acknowledge gavin degraw or he gets louder’ type of brain damage. wait now it’s 2009, do u guys wanna see my bloody valentine 3d? yeah it’s only been 5 mins but this guy is definitely the deranged killer. his friends like. abandoned him in a mine shaft.

I actually feel bad 4 him if he’s completely straight bc he definitely got offered so much dick in late 90s LA

this bitch is lifted shifted higher than the ceiling. did god take away his dog or did I hallucinate that. idk that was the best/worst month ever and I didn’t make it to the last season but I also don’t wanna say how far I did make it

what the god damn fuck do u want me 2 say

how’s it hangin coward why’d you put a sock on it

oh right the character. he’s the worst. what if we made stucky happen except he’s one person & he’s fucking himself. what if we rolled those two enormous old fruits into a stale swisher & let charlie sheen smoke it behind a gander mountain

red headed crazy girl from jessica jones is holding this show together. the affection I feel for her is tangible. she can rip out my hair instead, I’ve got extra fr

HOT SENATOR. I CANT EVEN REMEMBER HER NAME I AM SO FUCKING SORRY, GOD. MY BRAIN TURNED OFF EVERY TIME. IT’S VICTORIA. ALSO QUEEN OF MURDER

cherie 💕🥰💖 we will have a winter wedding. im thinking bordighera but whatever she wants

resurrect the milf. I can’t stand the udders and this psychotic prick needs his fucking mommy milkies bc no one ever fucking loved him and actually I shouldn’t even have to factor that in for that choice to be on the table. im kidding that would be dumb but what happened to her fkn baby lmfao was it super. don’t talk to me about the other kid I CANT

laser baby’s day out is still the best part of this universe. I believe that firmly

the real life political echoes are feeling a little too on the nose. kripke, I’m FINALLY ready to fight u and win. ugh, good job I think 😂

im good. im fine

#said while levitating & furiously ashing a pink sobranie that went out 20 mins ago #Ali aren’t u glad I posted this on an empty side blog instead of texting it to you #fine I’ll tag this but do not perceive me #the boys

[oshaviolater]

omg bro every1 is so wrong abt min woo just say u cant digest shit without it being black and white with a good moral backbone that it needs u to give life lessons always omg ok the min woo redemption thing was a bit rushed and cramped in the end nd they didnt rly need 2 push that into the narrative but omg the way ppl are like 'he at least needs to say sorry' 'he did 1 good thing nd every1 is heart eyes mf wake up idiots' like jsgsksg its more like.....hes just some guy. hes an insecure asshole but also hes just some guy who has his own set of problems just bc a character is actually fleshed out well and has qualities that every literal human being does doesnt make him a shit character omg. hes literally just written well. hes not some bad guy in the show omg ur not 12 its not a good vs bad show omg wtf hes literally shown to be human but moreover an actual side character whos written well as an individual rather than canon fodder to give u moral lessons for the protag omg. 'he at least needs to say sorry' omg no he doesnt. its a 16 ep show, u cant make him do a 360 degree change. that would be so unrealistic. maybe learn 2 digest that sometimes u get good writing where the side characters actually have human qualities and it doesnt make them out to be an irredeemable character that is worth x826287 lvl of hatred omg we can just beat the shit out of that guy and hate him bc hes some guy without wanting 2 redeem him but we can also luv him and beat the shut out of him still bc hes just some guy whos a lil shittyy sometimes

#like bruh hes literally such a good character #.like srsly i still dont even understand why they wrote han seon young like that when they could have given her more depth like min woo #min woo is an actual good and well written character #unlike the tae su mi vs han seon young surface level rivalry overarching plot #the whole thing barely had any depth omg not like i was expecting much #but min woo's character spoiled my expectations i was hoping for More