#we’ve been planning moving in together again soon and really starting a life together

[thmollusk]

okayyyy im gonna vent in the tags because 😁👍 yeah

#tape.text #this is my only place my partner doesn’t follow me on so that’s why it’s going here #i don’t need anyone to respond or say anything i’ll probably even delete this later i just need to vent #anyways. meow #my partner and i have been best friends for almost four years and have been dating for almost two #we lived together for over a year and the only reason we don’t anymore is because i needed to move back home #to california for transgendered reasons and they couldn’t come with #and they just made it very clear they don’t want marriage or kids. like ever #and i. 😁 really really want marriage and kids #idk we’ve talked about being married and having kids and how we’d raise them so i always figured one day we’d really do it #and now. it wont happen at all and im just trying to wrap my head around everything #someone give me the balls to sit down and have a serious talk with them about both of our futures #i know i cant force them to want kids or marriage #i don’t WANT to force them to #it just sucks that we want very different things and idk how to have a genuine serious talk with anyone #we’ve been planning moving in together again soon and really starting a life together #feelin. bad!

[mynameismckenziemae]

Unbroken

Part 12

(previous part here, next part here)

Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x You

Summary: Bradley’s reaction to your big news is better than you could’ve imagined.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI! Adult language and themes, pregnancy talk, mentions of vomiting/morning sickness.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

“I’m pregnant.”

Bradley’s brow furrows in confusion before morphing into a look of pure, unrestrained joy.

Which causes the sob you were choking down to escape.

“Oh Em,” he whispers, voice thick with his own tears as he wraps you in his arms. “Shhh. It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t planning this. Birth control pills don’t work if you throw up shortly after taking them, which is so fucking obvious now. I’m so stupid. I didn’t mean for this to happen. Please believe me,” you plead into his shoulder, gripping the tear-stained khaki. Panic tightens its grip on your lungs and your fingertips and lips start to go numb again as you struggle to breathe. “Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.”

“Hey, look at me,” he says, pulling you back to look at him. Your heart pinches at his tears that mirror yours. “Breathe, honey. You’re not stupid, I never thought of that either. I know you didn’t mean for this to happen, I didn’t either but I can’t stay I’m mad about it. I’m really fucking excited actually.”

“You are?” You ask, lip trembling.

“I am,” he nods, smiling through his tears. “We talked about wanting kids. That hasn’t changed, right?”

You shake your head. “No, but it’s so soon. We’ve only been together 5 months.”

“And I’ve known you’re the one for 4,” he replies. He hesitates before getting up and walking to the closet he now shares with you. He flips through his shirts until he finds his old UVA hoodie, reaching into the front pocket and pulling something out before hiding it behind his back.

You give him a quizzical look as he walks back around to stand in front of you.

“It’s the only shirt of mine I knew you wouldn’t steal,” he shrugs before getting down on one knee.

“What are you-“ you start to ask as your heart pounds in your chest but he interrupts you.

“This isn’t how I wanted to do this but I need you to know how serious I am when I say I’m not going anywhere,” he says, pulling the ring box from behind his back and opening it to reveal the most beautiful engagement ring. “I picked this out two weeks after I moved here, Em. I knew then that you were the one I wanna spend the rest of my life with. You can ask Charlie if you don’t believe me-I asked her to come with to make sure you’d like it before I bought it. This isn’t how I wanted to do this, but I need you to know I’m in this for the long haul, no matter what.”

Tears of a different kind blur your vision as his eyes flick to your not-yet-changed belly, tentatively placing his big hand there before he meets your eyes again.

“I love you,” he murmurs, rubbing your stomach, “both of you. Will you marry me?”

“Ye-“ you start but an intrusive thought interrupts your answer. “But what-what if I lose this baby too? What if I’m not able to carry a baby to full term and we never have one of our own? What if-“

“It doesn’t matter,” he stops your rambling gently. “My love for you won’t change if we don’t have kids or if we have ten. I love you for you, not for how many babies you’ll give me.”

The excitement in his expression begins to fall at your hesitation; your overwhelmed brain still trying to process everything. “I-uh…maybe this wasn’t a good idea to spring this on you. You can take some time to think about it, and we don’t have to get married any time soon, or at all. I-“

“Yes,” you blurt out when everything he’s said catches up to you. “I-I…yes!” you repeat, and a laugh bubbles up, “I want to marry you.”

Bradley laughs too as wraps his arms around you in a hug. His shoulders soon begin to shake and he sniffs as he squeezes you tighter and yet it’s the first time you feel you can breathe all day.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

The sun is lower in the sky when you wake up again, this time on Bradley’s chest. Your chest flutters as the afternoon sun catches the new rock on your finger.

“Whatcha doing?” You ask with a yawn.

“Just reading up on what to expect at the ultrasound tomorrow,” he responds, tilting his phone so you can see. “Kinda looks like a tadpole,” he laughs. “We might be able to see the heartbeat, depending on how far along you are exactly. It’s about the size of a pea right now. Do you think it’s a boy or a girl? It said Mom’s intuition is right 51% of the time.”

“You’re gonna be such a good daddy,” you whisper, smiling as he kisses the top of your head. “I don’t feel one way or the other yet. I just hope he or she is healthy.”

“Me too,” he murmurs. “We’ll get through it together if he or she isn’t, okay?”

“Okay,” you agree as you take a deep breath.

You’re physically and emotionally drained and your eyes close again but the buzzing of your phone won’t stop.

“You might want to check that,” Bradley murmurs as his fingers thread through your hair. “It’s been going off pretty steadily since you fell asleep. I’m guessing it’s Charlie.”

“You’re right,” you reply, sighing as you see the several missed calls and unopened texts.

Charlie: Please tell me you’re okay. Jake’s freaking out but doesn’t want to bother you or Bradley. He knows I know something, Emma.

Emma: Sorry, I fell asleep again after I told Bradley everything. Everything’s okay…good even. I feel better about things now.

Your stomach flips as your eye catches your ring.

Emma: Can you guys come over?

Charlie: Yes. Can we pick something up for dinner? What sounds good?

Bradley laughs when your stomach growls.

Emma: A burger and chocolate shake from Ray’s sounds good at the moment. I can’t promise it won’t change before you get here.

Charlie: You got it. See you soon.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

Ever-observant Charlie zeroes in on your ring finger the moment you take the bag of food from her.

“Oh my God!” She shrieks, dropping the bag and wrapping you in a hug. “He did such a good job picking it out. Do you love it? I told him you’d love it.”

“Yes,” you say, sniffing as a fresh round of tears prickle behind your eyes.

“What do you love?” Jake asks as he picks up the discarded food.

“My…engagement ring,” you reply, holding it out for him to look at.

“Holy shit!” His eyes widen as he looks at it then at Bradley, the food bag again dropped to the floor. “This is what you had to rush out early for? You couldn’t wait ‘til 4?”

Bradley looks at you and scratches the back of his neck as he answers. “Uh, well…not exactly.”

“And you knew about this and didn’t tell me?” Jake asks Charlie with a scoff.

“Bradley asked me to go with him before he bought the ring to make sure Em would like it,” Charlie answers, crossing her arms as she turns to look at him. “I didn’t tell because you’re horrible at keeping secrets and couldn’t tell a lie to save your life, Jake.”

“Yes I…but-“ he sputters, offended, as he looks between the three of you.

“It’s true,” you shrug, “I’m the same way.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he sighs, hugging you next. “Congratulations, Em.”

“Thanks,” you sniff.

“Seriously though,” he says as he releases you to clap Bradley on the back, “What was the rush? You couldn’t have waited another 3 hours?”

“That’s not why I rushed out-“ Bradley starts but you interrupt.

“Jake, I’m pregnant.”

“What?” Jake asks, his head snapping to look at you. “Really?”

You nod with a small smile.

“On purpose? Ow!” He asks, rubbing his head where Charlie smacked him.

Charlie sighs, shaking her head.

“No, not on purpose,” you reply softly. “It was shortly after we had that stomach bug. Birth control isn’t effective if you throw it back up.”

“Well, yeah. That does make sense-ouch! Damn it, Charlie,” he mutters, rubbing his butt where she must’ve given him a wicked pinch. “Why did Charlie find out before me? Again?”

“She found out before Bradley too,” you answer, continuing when Jake gives you a questioning look. “I fainted at the doctor’s office after I found out this morning. They asked if they should call anyone and my sister was the first person that came to mind.”

Charlie gives you a watery smile.

“Holy shit,” Jake says again, running a hand through his hair as the news finally sinks in. “I’m gonna be an uncle!”

“The best uncle,” you say, smiling at the way he beams.

“You know you didn’t have to propose though, right? Shotgun weddings are a thing of the past-Charlie, I swear to God-,” Jake starts, stopping to step to the side so he’s not within arms reach of her when he sees her get ready to whack him again.

“Do you hear-“ Charlie starts to argue with him but this time Bradley interrupts.

“I didn’t propose because I thought I had to,” he explains, coming up behind you to place his hands over your stomach. “I found the ring back in September, and had Charlie give me the okay before I bought it a few weeks later, then I got your dad’s blessing at Thanksgiving.”

“That’s why you were so nervous that day,” you murmur, remembering how uncharacteristically tense he was.

He nods, kissing your forehead before turning back to Jake. “I just hadn’t asked yet because I wanted it to be perfect.”

Bradley looks down at you while he continues. “I was so scared when you didn’t answer my calls or text back. The relief I felt when I saw your truck in the drive when I got home was ripped away when I saw how upset you were. It broke my fucking heart,” he pauses to clear his throat as his voice has grown thick with tears, “when I realized you thought I was going to leave you. I just needed you to know how much I love you and that I’ll always be here.”

You’re too choked up to do anything but nod before he kisses you softly.

“I’m really happy for you guys,” Jake says, wiping a tear of his own before he pulls Bradley in for a hug.

“I am too,” Charlie adds, squeezing your hand.

“Thanks,” you reply, squeezing hers back. “Are you doing okay? With all this?” You ask, gesturing to your stomach.

“I might be a little jealous,” she admits teasingly, “but it’s okay, our time will come.”

“It will,” you reply, squeezing her hand back.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

Jake and Charlie leave shortly after dinner with promises to send pictures after the ultrasound.

While Bradley looks for a movie to turn on, you text Noah and Gav to let them know you’ll stop in the clinic to fill them in after your appointment.

Not long after you fall asleep with your head in Bradley’s lap just as the opening credits roll.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

You’re rudely awoken again by a wave of nausea that lingers, even after your stomach is empty.

“Didn’t you say the doctor gave you medication for the nausea?” Bradley asks as he rubs soap between his hands in the shower.

“Yeah. I’m supposed to take it before bed but I fell asleep before I could last night. I’m just so tired-oh that feels amazing,” you moan as he washes your back, kneading the knots in your shoulders.

His cock twitches in interest against your ass.

“Sorry,” he whispers as he takes a step back, but his hands still work your tense muscles. “Just ignore it.”

“Don’t be sorry,” you sigh in frustration as your body fights between nausea and arousal. “I don’t wanna ignore it though. I want to be able to fuck you without yawning or having to stop to hurl,” your lip begins to tremble. “Great! Now I’m gonna fucking cry again. I hate these fucking hormones!”

“It’s okay,” he murmurs, and you can hear he’s trying not to laugh. “I’ll make sure you take the medicine before you fall asleep tonight, hopefully, that’ll help with some of the nausea and then maybe can get a full night’s sleep too.”

“Okay,” you nod with a pitiful sniffle before turning your head for a kiss.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

“See that flickering?” The ultrasound tech asks, pointing at the screen. “That’s the heartbeat.”

“Wow,” Bradley replies in awe, squeezing your hand.

“Everything looks okay then? Normal?” You ask anxiously.

“Everything looks good,” she confirms with a reassuring smile. “Your little one is measuring just shy of 7 weeks.”

You sigh in relief and let some of the excitement trickle in that you’ve been holding back.

Everything looks good.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

A/N: Another surprise 🙂 poor Emma is a hormonal mess (much like I was 😂).

As always, any interaction is appreciated but I love hearing what you think in comments/reblogs!

Tagging (please let me know if you want to be added/removed!):

@mamamaystbr

@its-the-pilot

@dizzybee03

@sweetwhispersofchaos

@shanimallina87

@blindedbythelightt

@getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth

@lexixstewart

@phoenix-rising-starbird-one

@mrsrobertfloyd5

@charmedkim

@k-k0129

@bellaireland1981

@hookslove1592

@amiets2

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@eli2447

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@dempy

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@mrsevans90

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@devil-angel-winchester

#bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw x you #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley rooster bradshaw x you #jake hangman seresin

[mindswriters]

pls more toxic rafe 😭

omgg i’m so glad u guys liked it!!! tbh i was kinda scared bout the judgement ☠️☠️

TW: toxic!rafe, curse words, allusions to sex in the end (as u haven’t said anything specific besides toxic rafe, i’m just giving u a random thought from the same universe as the other fic)

Today was your best friend’s bachelorette party, and you were very excited for it. You two have been glued by the hip ever since you can remember what having a friend is, and great hours of your teenage years were spent with you both dreaming about getting married, starting a family and things like that, and even though you and Rafe have moved in together for a couple of months now, you never really did all the cliché rituals of a married couple, so your friend is going to be the first one to achieve that, which is very special to the both of you, especially with you being her 1st bridesmaid. There was no way you would miss this moment. Or so you thought.

“Hi, babe, I’m home” you were getting ready in your bedroom when you heard the front door, and soon enough Rafe’s voice announcing he arrived from work.

“Hi, baby, I’m inside, bedroom!” you made sure to project your voice through the house, so he’d know where to find you.

“Hey- Wow!” he exclaimed when he opened the door and saw you all dressed up, finishing your makeup “You look so good, babe, so gorgeous” he walked over to you, wrapping his arms on your waist from behind and leaning to kiss your face.

“Hmm, thank you, handsome” you laughed turning on your heels to kiss him on the lips “Did you liked it?” you look back to the mirror, checking your outfit again.

“Of course, babe, I loved it” he sat at the end of your bed, unbuttoning the shirt he used at work “So, where are we going?” he asked, and you frowned.

“Baby, we are not going anywhere, I’m going” you chuckled fixing your earrings “Today’s is Liza’s bachelorette party, remember?” you walked over to him.

“What? No, I don’t remember, you haven’t told me anything” Rafe frowned, you felt his tone changing and you knew you’re in for it.

“Yes, I did, baby. She’s been planning it for a long time, I told you this like, two weeks ago?” you shook your head at the rhetorical question, standing cautiously in front of him.

“Well, I’m sorry, but I don’t remember, you could’ve texted me or something. I even called off on Topper, what about dinner now?” he shrugged in disapproval, pursing his lips.

“I made you dinner already, it’s on the microwave, made that mac’n’cheese you always say you like” you smiled sweetly, putting your arms on his shoulders and tilting your head to one side.

“So that’s how you think it works? Just because you make something that I like for dinner you think you’re free to go wherever you want?” he questioned roughly, making you huff and take a step back from him.

“No, baby, that’s not how I think it works. I made you dinner so you wouldn’t have to go out, or spent money with take out, and not because I want a free pass to go out” you clarified minimally rolling your eyes “And come on, it’s her bachelorette party, is important to the both of us” you gave him pleading eyes.

“Why is it so important to you? It’s her marriage anyways” he arched one of his eyebrows.

“Because we’re best friends, Rafe, and we’ve always dreamt about this part of life. I’m her bridesmaid, it’s important for us to be together tonight” you explained ending with a small pout.

“And where is this party happening?” he asked concerned and gave you a bit of hope.

“At the Country Club, Liza rented a private room there” you answered waiting for his reaction.

“Okay. I understand, love” he said simply, words followed by a kind smile.

“Seriously? You’re okay with me going?” you asked incredulously, your tone now almost too excited.

“Sure. But I’m going with you” he said naturally, earning a quick frown of your eyebrows.

“Oh Rafe-“ you laughed at his response, but stopped as soon as you saw him getting up and grabbing a towel from your wardrobe “Wait, what? You’re not being serious right now, are you?” your voice changing from panic.

“I sure am, darling. Why wouldn’t I be?” he stared at you smirking.

“Because it’s a bachelorette party, Rafe. A ladies party, no groom, no husbands and no boyfriends allowed. You can’t go with me” you scoffed with a light chuckle.

“Simple then, if I’m not going, you’re not going” Rafe stated seriously.

“What? This is so stupid!” you couldn’t help raising your voice a bit from anger “It’s just a group of girls going out to celebrate the last weekend of one of them being single. Just like the boys do. We’re just gonna eat, have some drinks, laugh together, it’s not a big deal!” you tried to convince him.

“Not a big deal, huh? Have you ever went to a bachelorette party? Do you know what the fuck happens in those kinds of celebrations?” he raised his strong voice, taking steps closer to you and pointing to your face, to make you let your guard down “It’s ridiculous, Y/n! I don’t know who else is invited, if they’re single or not, but I’m not the type of man to let my girl go to a party where the purpose is literally to be single for one night. I'm sure you won't just drink and laugh, things like this always involve stupid pranks, and even rent boys. And I don’t care if you’re going to be in a private room, the biggest audience at the Country Club are men, and I don't want my girlfriend walking around there, let alone without me and wearing a tight little skirt like this one. So if you don’t want me to go, you better join me for dinner here, at our home, because you are also not going” he spitted his lost of temper on you.

“Oh my fucking God, Rafe, you’re being so ridiculous right now” you sighed, almost running your hand through your face, but when you remembered it would mess up your make up, you moved it to you hair instead “You go out with your friends practically every once in a week! While I stay here to have dinner all by myself, sometimes I even get to bed alone because I get tired of waiting for you. And now I can’t go to my best friend’s pre-wedding party, which is something that won’t happen ever again, all because you’re jealous? This is bullshit, you have to trust me more, Rafe” you roll your eyes, turning your back to him.

“When did I said that I don’t trust you, babe? Of course I do, I don’t trust the others. And I’m not jealous, I’m just taking care of what’s mine” he came closer again, gently grabbing the back of your arm to bring you to face him.

“Rafe, please, it’s just this time. I never go out with my girl friends alone, and you know them, they’re not just some batshit bitches I met yesterday, we’ve been friends for years now. Plus, all of this ‘marriage rituals’ are something important to me and Liza, we’ve dreamed about this since we were kids, she’ll be so upset if I don’t show up, baby” you pleaded looking up at your boyfriend, praying he’d feel some empathy for your best friend.

“Then call her and say that you’re only going if your boyfriend can go too” he slightly shrugged, laughing as if was the most obvious thing ever.

“You don’t understand, Rafe, this is a no boys party, you can’t be the only partner in there, it’s gonna ruin our dynamic” you complained whining.

“See? How am I supposed to let you go on this shit if I can’t even know what you’re gonna do in there? No way, babe, I’m not changing my mind” he shook his head no, still holding you in place.

“But- Rafe, baby, please! I promise you I won’t do anything wrong, I even-“ you tried to plead again, almost desperately this time.

“No, Y/n. When I tell you no, it’s no. Is it so difficult for you to understand? Do want me to explain what a ‘no’ means?” he said sternly, so intensifying softly his grip on your arm.

“No, I get it, no need for that” you practically whispered, and he let you go “What about Liza tho? She’s waiting for me, it was important for her to have me there…” you said nipping on your nails.

“Well, she should’ve considered it before deciding on a traditional bachelorette party, she knows you have a boyfriend. Now just call her and tell her you're not going, that's it.” Rafe said while rummaging around his shirts on your shared dresser.

“That easy? And how should I say it? 'So honey, I can't go to the party we’ve planned for months because my possessive and overprotective boyfriend won't let me go out alone', can it be like that?” you ended up mocking him from how frustrated you actually were.

“Don’t fuck with me, babe” he mumbled the warning putting the clothes he chose above your bed “Just tell her that a no Rafe party, is a no Y/n party. We’re a couple, each other’s priorities, aren’t we? She will understand” he said while taking off his watch and his rings.

“Yeah, whatever, I’ll come up with something” you muttered with a sigh.

You dodged him, going towards your bedside table to grab your phone and dropping yourself above the silk sheets, taking a deep breath before texting Liza, saying that you weren’t feeling very well and thought it was better for you to stay home, telling her you were sorry for not being there tonight. Dropping your phone to your side, you sighed heavily and noticed how Rafe was watching you while he took off his dirty clothes.

“What?” you asked arching an annoyed eyebrow at him.

“I have to admit, now I feel such a shame that you got all dolled up for nothing” he pouted towards you, giving a small laugh after you rolled your eyes.

“Uh, yeah, no shit” you said under your breath, grabbing your phone again to see if there was anything that could entertain you now.

“Maybe if you hadn’t put so much effort on it, I could’ve let you out. But not like this, babe, uh uh. Too gorgeous to go around without me” he joked, still folding his clothes but never taking his eyes off of your figure.

“Yeah, sure” you wouldn’t even dare look at him right now.

“Aw come on, honey. Don’t be like that” he mewled, coming to sit beside you and putting your phone down “You know I just want to protect you. And plus, I can’t stand being here all alone while half of the island is drooling over my girl, yeah?” he smiled, leaning closer and kissing the back of your hand.

“Mhm, Rafe, go take your bath, I’m hungry and since you didn’t want me to go out, I’m not having dinner alone now” you mentioned your dissatisfaction, while trying to ignore his little touches and caresses.

“Actually, I was thinking that maybe we could go on a date?” he said kissing your neck and your jaw “Like right now. I take you to some fancy restaurant, so you won’t have spent hours getting ready for nothing, and I would also love to show off my beautiful girlfriend, show’em who gets to spoil you and call you mine, huh? What do you say?” he suggested, giving you the sweetest grin ever while moving your hair behind your ear.

“Dunno, Rafe, I’m really not in the mood for that anymore, I’m sorry” you answered with deep breath and a half-smile.

“That’s right, I get it, you’re only in the mood when is to go out with your friends, okay” he chuckled,  making your roll your eyes just to earn a kiss on your cheek “But that’s fine, in this case we can stay home baby, and have our dinner together, just as you wish. I’m sure whatever you cooked is way better than food from any other restaurant” he smiled brightly.

“Yeah, it sounds good this way” you looked away, biting your inside lip to suppress a smile of your own.

“Sure, it does. And you wanna know something?” he waited for your reaction and as soon as you nodded he leaned to whisper closer to your ear lobe “I think is better for us to stay home anyways, cause ever since I entered this room and saw you dressed like this, I've been holding myself back from ripping it all off of you. So, I don't know if I could wait until we got back home” he smirked after moving his eyes from your lips to stare directly into your eyes.

“Rafey…” you whispered, doing your best to stare back at him, and not look at his lips or his hand touching ever so slightly on your thigh. Finally losing the posture you held onto since the beginning of your discussion.

“Don’t go all flustered now, babe, I know you liked it” he stole a quick peck from you before getting up from the bed “Now why don't you go over there and speed things up by setting our dining table, huh? While I take a shower to get rid of my work fatigue. I promise I'll make it up to you after dinner” he winked grabbing his towel again and going towards your bathroom.

“Okay, don’t take so long tho, I’m gonna miss you” you grinned shyly turning on your side to look at him.

“I sure won’t, love, gonna miss you too much too if I do” he grinned back making you blush “Now you, little lady-“ he leaned over the doorframe and pointed to you still on the bed in front of him “Don’t you dare taking those clothes off or ruining this make up before I come out, because tonight that’s my fucking job” he nodded before closing the door to take his bath in peace.

a/n: i think the whole dynamic in this one isn’t as toxic as in the first one, but the situation is just as fucked up, and yes, i thought about making the reader insist more in going out, and make them have a big argument, but the key from this universe is: rafe knows how to manipulate the reader, and his way of doing it is acting as normal and careful as he can, to make her believe that he does what he does because he cares about her, so she’ll always end up submitting to him. at the beginning of their relationship, she’d maybe be braver to confront him, but he manipulated her to believe that if she argues, she is the wrong one, because he acts this way to protect the woman he loves, and if she loves him back, she has to accept and submit to whatever he says or wants (all that and his super trunfo of make up sex ofc. anyways!!! hope u liked it, and if any of you want to see more of this, or make some other request, feel free to let me know :)

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe fic #rafe cameron smut #rafe x reader #rafe angst #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron #rafe outer banks #outerbanks rafe #rafe cameron x female reader #rafe fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron fic #rafe obx #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks netflix #outer banks imagine #outerbanks

[maybankspov]

Don’t Do That! Part 1

Masterlist

Warnings: ANGST, toxic relationship, arguing, slight sex talk and a forced kiss

Summary: Jj and y/n have been broken up for about 3 months now, but they’re relationship was toxic af and everyone knew that, even Y/N but JJ seemed to be the only one left with hope.

I’ve added a bit of a reference to Skins in this so… Enjoy ;)

Y/N POV

Tonight was a mess. The look on his face when he saw me for the first time in 3 months. Our relationship is toxic. My friends keep telling me that and i’ve finally realised it myself. I love him. I really do. But i know we aren’t meant to be together. Are paths just shouldn’t cross. But seeing him look at me like that, it killed me inside.

JJ POV

That’s when i saw her. Walking into the boneyard looking as stunning as always. We’ve been broken up for about 3 months now and its been 3 months of complete torture. This is the first time i’ve stepped out of my room since she dumped me. John B kept nagging me about how i was drowning in self pity and how i needed to snap out of it. My friends never liked mine and Y/N’s relationship they would always tell me how toxic it was but they’re wrong! She’s the one for me i know it.

Y/N POV

I had to get out of there. I couldn’t face him today not like this. So I quickly turned back making it blatantly obvious i was avoiding him. I heard muffled voices behind me, trying to move in and out of people and i just knew he was trying to get to me. So i started walking faster.

JJ POV

I saw her leave. I couldn’t go another day without her being mine again. I need her to survive. So I followed her. I rushed past everyone dancing and drinking beers trying to get to my girl. But John B got in the way like always. He must have seen where i was going.

“Don’t” John B said shooting daggers into my eyes

“I can’t let her go again” “i need her” i said back to him

“You Don’t, you just think you do” “please just listen to me on this one”

“No! I’m not just going to let the love of my life walk out on me the way she did” i pushed past him. I could tell he cared about me but i just couldn’t let her go.

So i started to run to her. I just need to feel her arms around me. To feel her lips on mine one more time. To have her to myself like before.

Once i got to the end of the beach i saw her get into her car and drive off. I stopped running and just stared at her car wishing John B didn’t stop me. I had no other choice but just to stand there watching her drive away.

Y/N POV

When i got back home i just wanted to go to bed even tho I didn’t interact with anyone at that kegger. I felt exhausted, seeing him spiked some forgotten emotions I didn’t want to feel again. Looking into his eyes showed me just how much i missed him. But i know I couldn’t have him i’d only be torturing myself in the process.

But that’s when i heard a knock coming from my front door. I froze knowing exactly who it was. “I’m not answering it” i thought to myself but apparently my feet had different plans as i found myself starting to walk back to my door, wanting to see his face again.

“JJ… what do you want” i said to him

“Y/N” “please i need to talk to you”

“I’m not doing this again, we broke up for a reason”

“We didn’t break up, you dumped me!” “You left me feeling like shit, i beat myself up over you so just please let me in”

“…fine” i spoke softly feeling the tears well up in my eyes.

I closed the door as soon as he stepped inside. I could feel the tension in the air as he made himself at home like he usually would. We were sat down on my family sofa and i could see in his eyes how these past few months had effected him.

“Listen Y/N the past 3 months have been absolute hell for me-“

“How is that my problem?”

I know I’m being mean but our relationship is toxic. He constantly does things he knows will make me jealous. He makes me feel like i’m not his first choice. He distances himself from me for weeks at a time then rocks up at my window expecting me to let him shove his dick inside of me. I just can’t do this anymore.

“Y/N i love you” he mumbles, as a small tear falls down his cheek. He reaches for my hand stroking his thumb in circles a long my palm. He always knows the right thing to do and i fucking hate him for it. I love him too, i know i do i just can’t do it to myself.

“JJ, i broke up with you for a reason our relationship was toxic we aren’t good for each other you need to except that”

“The night before you dumped me you told me that you loved me so look me in the eye and say that you don’t love me now”

I didn’t move. I didn’t know what to say to that.

He started to lean forward placing his lips on my own. I felt like time stopped then and there. Like all my emotions just fell of me like the water in the shower. I started to kiss back feeling him move my body closer to his as he placed his hands on my cheeks pulling me even more closer. Something snapped inside me and i tried to push him off but he just wouldn’t let go.

“Don’t do that!” i shouted, whilst shoving him off me.

He looked stunned. That was the first time i had ever raised my voice around him.

“I went crazy when i was with you”

Jj looked down at his lap, another tear falling from his eye.

“Loves not supposed to do that, you made me go mad”

“Your making me mad now, y/n… and that’s exactly what love is supposed to do” he brought his hand back to my cheek. His eyes fighting the decision to either look at my eyes or my lips.

He has this hold over me and I’m just not strong enough to rebel. Maybe we are meant to be together we just can’t stay away from each other no matter how hard we try.

And then he left like he always does. Leaving me to overthink my actions again. Like it was my fault. Like i was the one who caused all this heart ache. I don’t know what to do now.

#outerbanks imagine #rudeth #rudy pankow #jj maybank #drew starkey #rafe cameron #jj fanfiction #jj angst #jj x reader #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank x pogue!reader #jj #obx jj #obx angst #fanfic

[look-at-the-soul]

Cia I adore this gif you sent! (Thank you for the inspiration!!) I immediately got the idea but other stories came to my mind first 🤭

Still loving you

Robert Fischer x reader (and it’s also part of my grandma tribute) ♥️✨

Word count: 3,246

Robert waited next to the carrousel, there had been trouble with the system and people had to wait in order to pass with a custom. He just hoped this would be solved quickly because he had a meeting in…

That laugh and that voice only belonged to someone. Turning around he stopped looking at the screen on his phone.

No.

This couldn’t be happening.

¿Y/N?

Robert felt his body froze, his heart rate increased and memories came back and hit him like an avalanche. After all these years.

Flashback:

Y/N felt her knees go weak the moment she saw Rob stepping down his vehicle. Dressed in an immaculate suit with a silky black tie and that effortlessly hairstyle that suited him so well, his face seemed to be made by a Greek God.

It was odd that he asked about her appointment at the salon, perhaps he’d send his driver to pick her up for the gala…

She tried to grab his face to give him a welcome kiss, but Robert stopped her, giving Y/N an emotionless stare. She soon was aware of his cold reaction.

“What’s wrong?”

Robert shifted his weight from one foot to another uncomfortably.

“I’m going to the United States.”

Y/N blinked confused by his statement.

“What? When?”

He wanted to reach out and touch her, but instead he decided to hide his hands inside his pockets. “Tomorrow night, it’s all settled.”

“But.. but I thought you’d be starting on the September course.”

“No, I enrolled in the summer program.”

“Okay, I could cancel my Venice holiday and meet you there then…” Y/N proposed, thinking of some way to make it work.

They had just graduated and she was hoping they’d take the next step in their relationship soon, so moving in while he focused on his master degree in a foreign country sounded promising.

“I could start hunting apartments right away, are you staying in a hotel meanwhile babe?” She smiled again, thinking it could be good he took the lead and moved there first, so he could explore the area and find potential places. “But first I’d need to fly there, do you think your Dad would still let me use his private plane? He had said before anytime, but since you’ll be there…”

“Y/N…” the way he said her name, made her look at him. But she didn’t like what she found in his eyes. “This is why I needed to see you. I’m going away for a couple of years, we’ve to end this. Right here, before I go.”

And she couldn’t hear anything else he said, because her ears were buzzing, she felt like she was underwater and that someone was stealing the air from her lungs.

“But I could fly over and be there, lots of people have a long distance relationship nowadays.”

“Don’t make this more difficult.” He begged, making an effort to keep his emotions at bay.

“You can’t be serious.” Y/N blinked nervously, trying to find for a sign in Robert’s face that this was a bad joke.

She waited a few minutes, eagerly to hear him ask her to come with him, that he was only messing with her, he was always joking.

But when he didn’t back off, she swallowed hard.

“Really? You can’t even tell me a valid reason to break up with me?” Tears would start falling any minute now.

“You know I’m going to start my master degree overseas. It’s for the best.” Robert tried to excuse his sudden decision.

“The best?”

She barely had time to process the sudden news. How long had he been planning this?

Anger took over her, pinching the bridge of her nose, she tried to control her emotions. “You know what? Do whatever the fuck you want Robert! Go and study your goddamn master, I hate you!”

Taking her purse, Y/N rushed, needed to get to her car as fast as she could. She had dreamed Robert would ask her to go with him to the United States, to live together and then, get married. But instead he broke her heart? He was he love of her life, they had plans together for the future, they were good… or at least she thought so, now realizing how selfish he really was.

Tears ran free down her face and she cursed in frustration now realizing how selfish he really was. The son of a bitch, he didn’t care about anyone else but himself.

Y/N never saw the way he broke into a crying mess. Feeling guilt eat him alive for causing her such pain. But he was suffering as much as her or probably even more, she had been his rock, his safe place to hide, he could be real and honest with Y/N. But now, not only she was gone, but that part of him as well.

Robert kept his head down during the entire ride to the charity event his family was hosting, thankfully his driver kept quiet. Images of Y/N giving him a look full of sadness and disappointment for breaking up with her filled his mind, he hoped the image would stop haunting him at some point. He didn’t want that to happen, but he was convinced if he focused solely on his studies, he’d make his father proud.

They were still young, he wanted to prove he was worth of the Fischer company and he needed to work hard to achieve that.

Putting on an emotionless expression, he took a few shaky breaths to mask the fact that he was dealing with a broken heart.

Walking past the directors and board members of the company, he shook some hands, everybody was expecting a lot of things from him, he had a very important place to fill in…

“Darling, over here!” His grandmother’s voice caught his attention among the people. “Where’s Y/N?” She turned her face around, searching for her.

“She isn’t here grandma.”

His maternal grandmother gave him an expectant look.

“Why not? She was so excited yesterday.”

“I just broke up with her.” He explained uncomfortably, his jaw clenching.

His grandmother couldn’t believe his words, Y/N was the most charming girl she had ever met, she had Robert drooling over her, her family was respectable, she was well educated, smart, funny, beautiful, everything anyone would kill to be.

“I need to focus on my maste-”

But his grandma was already shaking her head and giving him a disapproving glance.

“This is the worst decision you’ve ever made. And you will regret it for the rest of your life.”

(End of flashback)

And his grandmother was right, he did regretted it every single day. He finished his master and started working for his father’s company, he had made his family’s wealth bigger than he ever imagined.

But none of that really mattered, because he let true love slip away from him that night.

And now she was standing a few steps away from him. And she was still the most beautiful girl in the room.

“Why is that man staring at you?”

Zoe whispered at her friend confused. Was he even blinking?

Y/N frowned and turning her face around, she found the man that broke her heart years ago.

The world stopped spinning for an instant and the air escaped her lungs. She could practically feel her blood running out of her body.

All the memories flashing back at her, as if it was a movie scene. His cold words playing over and over in her mind.

No, time doesn't heal anything. It’s just a way to disguise the pain people say to cover an uncomfortable silence.

And she knew it still hurt like the first day because even after all these years, she still cared about him.

Robert managed to leave his initial shock behind, and he finally started moving towards her.

What should he say? Should he greet her with a kiss on the cheek or keep his distance?

The heaviness in his heart grew as he saw Y/N blinking, looking from side to side as if trying to find a way to avoid him.

“Y/N.” Her name on his lips seemed to burn.

She could feel her friends whispering in shock, they must’ve realized by now who he was because they knew the story.

How are you supposed to react in moments like these? Say it’s lovely to see you! No, because it wasn’t.

Could this be their chance to talk about what happened? He wondered if she had someone in her life. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came up.

“Robert.” She raised her eyebrows, but other than that, he didn’t get much. Except she folded her arms in front of her chest, in a protective reaction. “All right, let’s go.” She stammered to the girls, wanting to go as fast as she could.

“There’s a problem with the car rental, they canceled.” Zoe announced and threw a subtle glance in Robert’s direction, he was still standing there, looking at Y/N.

He noticed Y/N wasn’t wearing a wedding band on her left hand, she was carrying a book in her bag.

“We’ll get an Uber then.” Y/N proposed trying to make her friends start walking.

“It’s extra expensive right now, it’s rush hour.”

“I’ve a driver waiting for me.” Offered Robert. “I could take you anywhere.”

A heavy silence fell upon them, you could hear a pin drop. Zoe and Lisa looked at each other, not fully believing what was happening. Then, they looked at Y/N.

“This isn’t a good idea.” She admitted in a low voice, avoiding his eyes.

“Hey c’omon we won’t be able to make it on time with this traffic.” Lisa pointed out.

Zoe gave Robert a suspicious look.

Whatever was crossing his mind, his ego dropped to the floor, he had been waiting for this moment all his life.

“I think a ride won’t hurt nobody, right?”

Before Y/N could protest, Lisa practically jumped on Robert, not wanting to give Y/N time to react. “I hope you’ve enough space in that vehicle because we overpacked.” And she grabbed him by the arm as if they were long time friends. “I’m Lisa.”

“I think I’m going to throw up.” Y/N grabbed Zoe’s hand for reassurance.

“Take a deep breath honey, this is not the right time to have a breakdown, you’re stronger than this.”

“Why him? Why now? After all this time…” Y/N’s eyes darted again towards Robert, who was walking several steps ahead with Lisa still hanging from his arm.

“I don’t know, but perhaps you were meant to run into each other, it was just a matter of time.” Zoe gave her friend a sympathetic look. “It still affects you.”

Her friend’s statement made Y/N stop walking.

It did. It still hurt her definitely. But it was only because Robert had been the love of life.

That was the truth, plain and simple, over time she of course started dating another man, but as soon as she realized things were about to get serious or that he would take the next step she decided to end the relationship not wanting to get married to the wrong man.

She wasn’t scared of marriage, she hated the idea of waking up one day and feel disappointed of the choices she made, it didn’t make sense probably for most of the people, but she rather choose to be alone.

Of course she never expected to see Robert again, there were a lot of things left unsaid between them. And all of those years apart didn’t prepare her to face him once more.

She remained quiet on their way towards his vehicle, the internal turmoil taking over with each step she took. And there he was holding the door open for her, giving her the sad and traumatized puppy eyes a pet would use after being scolded.

“I’ll go in the back.” Announced Zoe climbing in while the driver took their luggage.

Lisa gave her friend a curious look. “Can I go in the front? I get car-sick.”

That left Y/N sharing the second row of seats with Robert.

Y/N shook her head slightly while she tried to control her heart drumming like crazy, all their memories flashing her back in time to when they were happy, when they first kissed, when they first made love and of course, when he broke her heart.

A heavy and uncomfortable silence filled inside the vehicle.

Y/N tried to focus her gaze in the sighting they were passing through the busy streets, the man in the bicycle, the three women at the café, the elderly couple with their dog, anything but the man sitting next to her that was subtly looking at her and clearing his throat. She could feel his eyes on her, boring into her soul.

“Where am I driving to Sir?” The driver asked, waiting for instructions.

Lisa gave him Y/N address, she had a small loft in the city and they’d be staying there for the book signing event.

A million thoughts crossed Robert’s mind, he wanted to apologize first. But after all those years? Y/N could hardly stand to be in the same car with him clearly. What could he say? How could he even even begin to justify what he did to her back then? There wasn’t a single valid reason for leaving her the way he did.

And for what? To get his father’s approval? To show the old man that he was worth to be his son?

He lost the best damn thing that could ever happen to him. He lost her over nothing.

But now he was willing to give everything for her.

When they arrived, Y/N thanked the driver, took her bags and mumbled a very lowly thanks to Robert through gritted teeth, then she excused to rush to use the ladies room, leaving Robert standing there in the middle not knowing what to do with a million words to say and a sincere apology trapped in his lips.

Zoe approached him quietly, she had known Y/N for over ten years and given her reaction to the odd encounter, despite all, she knew Y/N still cared about him.

“Can I ask you a question before anything else?”

Robert crossed his arms and gave her a nod.

“Are you single?” That was the most important thing to know first.

“Yes.”

Then, onto the next question. “Call me a witch if you want, I don’t know you… but I know her. Do you still have feelings or something? I know it got messy the last time you talked but...”

Robert allowed himself to let his guard down, the one he had built after losing Y/N. He never let another woman into his heart. His bed? Yes. But not his heart.

“I don’t think it matters, she can hardly stand to look at me for two seconds.” He saw the pain was still there in her eyes.

“She’s going to hate me for doing this but if I can help in any way it’s worth the risk…” Zoe assured him. “I’ve a book signing today at four o’clock, this is the address.” Noticing the confusion in Robert’s eyes, she added; “this isn’t my business but I know the two of you’ve an unfinished business.”

Robert stared at the flyer, wondering what was the right thing to do.

“What if she doesn’t want to see me?”

“Oh it’s going to be hard, trust me.” Zoe then took her best friend side. “And if you hurt her again, I’m going to give you hell for ruining it twice.”

As the girls walked inside the apartment, Robert took his time to process everything, and taking his phone, he called his assistant to clear his schedule for the day, his mind couldn’t stop thinking of the series of events that just happened.

***

Robert took a look at his watch impatiently, then stared out the window of his vehicle and his eyes stopped at the women walking down the street. A grandma with what looked like her granddaughter, strolling with their arms linked, their eyes focused in the articles before their eyes and it made him think immediately of Y/N and her grandmother. How many times did he found them just like that, then they’d drive back into her grandmas house for lunch or dinner, the same with his grandmother.

When everything was simpler and happier. When they were together.

“Mr. Fischer, they are done signing the books.” His driver informed him.

Marcus didn’t ask him anything further, and without intention the man pressed him to make a choice. Walk in the book store and try to apologize to Y/N or drive away and leave behind a small possibility to get her back.

All damn day he kept thinking about her and what they had. How different his life would be if only he didn’t let her go that day.

But guilt was eating him alive, for the damage he caused her.

Did he deserve to be happy for once?

A bald man stepped out of the store, holding the door open and then he saw Zoe and Lisa walking out.

But when he saw Y/N hiding her beautiful eyes behind her sunglasses, he soon realized by just one look that he never stopped loving her.

“Y/N!” It was an impulsive move, but he couldn’t stop himself. “Wait…” he pleaded her, the three girls turned around to face him.

She gave him a confused look, not knowing what her was doing there or how he knew. Would the feeling of being incomplete without Robert would ever go away? Her heartbeat went crazy.

Knowing there was a possibility that Y/N could reject him, Robert cleared his throat and hid his hands inside his pockets. “I owe you a sincere apology, Y/N and I know it won’t take away what I did…” two pairs of curious eyes stared back at him. “I’m really sorry.”

Y/N stood there processing his words unsure of what to do or say. A million thoughts crossing her mind.

“If you want, we could talk? Privately.” He struggled to say the words, not because he didn’t mean it, because he was terrified of getting a negative answer. His next words came out as whisper whilst he looked down. “If you agree of course.”

Time slowed as Y/N took a deep breath, pondering on his words. Had she been waiting all her life for this moment? Was this the closure her heart needed?

She opened her mouth to explain him, she already had plans with her friends, but Zoe gave her a disapproving glance, reading her mind.

“I don’t know what will happen next,” Y/N said cautiously, “but I think a chat it’s a good start.”

“Thank you.”

As soon as she said those words, she felt free, relieved even for carrying the burden for so long. Whilst for Robert, this was the small light at the end of the tunnel.

They both knew it would take a lot of time to rebuild a relationship like they did. But at least this was the first step to try to get back the love they once had.

And without a doubt, he still loved Y/N.

Robert Master list

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#that’s what Cill said #robert fischer x y/n #robert fischer x you #robert fischer fanfic #robert fischer imagine #robert fischer x reader #cillian murphy characters #robert fischer inception

[livingfancyfree]

the introduction to childfree by choice

Before I get into anything, first and foremost, I don’t hate children, parents, any of that. Kids are great and if you are someone who wanted to be a parent and went down that path, that’s wonderful for you and I hope you enjoy it! My husband and I decided to go down the childfree path because that works best for our life. Everyone gets to make their own choices and do what makes the most sense for them. I’m not here to insult anyone, I just wanted to share my own thoughts and experiences with being childfree by choice.

Being childfree was never the goal. I’d always planned on being a mom because that’s what people do: you meet someone, get married, have kids, live happily ever after, preferably all before turning 30. Well getting to three out of four ain’t bad.

My original plan was to be married by 25, have a first child by 26, second by 29. I had the idea of having at least one daughter (Emma Marie, a name chosen at the age of 17), and a second child (either Auden Lynn or Jackson George) because after growing up with a sister I knew having an only child wasn't an option. A kid needs a partner in crime and someone to keep them company during boring family outings. I wanted the Rory to my Lorelai, a little mini-me that would love Harry Potter and have a great taste in music courtesy of my teachings. Not the best reason to have children, I definitely understand that but it was what I expected to happen.

But in general, there was no discussion on whether or not I really wanted children, it’s just the assumption that if you’re a woman, you want to be a mom. When my husband and I began getting more serious, I checked in on if he wanted kids and in a yeah, why not kind of way, he said he did, again, because that’s the expectation. He was never super excited about the idea but he didn’t hate it. That was good enough for me. We moved through our dating life and into marriage with the assumption that when the time was right, we would start having kids.

We got married in November 2019 and then Covid hit. We made it through lockdown closer than ever, it was actually exactly what we needed for our relationship. My husband’s job had him gone all the time and I was working 3 jobs, lockdown forced us to slow down and we were finally able to have quality time together. I went down to one job and my office job was fully remote, to me it was the perfect time to have our first kid. There was no way I’d be able to be a

stay at home mom and with the price of childcare, I figured we’d get some free months out of me working remote and his lighter work schedule.

Thankfully he said no, that the time wasn’t right. We were living in his parents basement (it was a nice apartment/in-law suite setup) while his parents, brother, brother’s wife, and their two children lived in the main part of the house. We were miserable living there and were planning to leave as soon as our finances were stable. He didn’t want us to rush into things and convinced me that waiting until we moved out was the best move before starting a family. I guess he has good ideas sometimes.

Then last year, we moved into our first home and it was determined that having children was no longer a smart choice for us. A lot of it was financial but there were other personal factors that came into play. Having the financial reality of how expensive the world really is allowed us to take a pause and really look into whether or not kids were what we needed in our lives or if we were okay as we were.

And we are. We have a happy marriage, we’ve been together 10 years, married almost 4 of those years. We have the sweetest cat named Hallow who is the light of my life.  Our social life has steadily grown, especially in the last year. All of this together gives us a happy life.

Do I sometimes wonder if we’ll look back and wonder if we made the right choice? Of course, but at the end of the day, I would rather wonder if we made a mistake than have kids and regret it. It’s harsh but if social media has shown us anything, it’s that so many parents are absolutely miserable. I’ve seen it in my extended family and then abundantly online where people should not be allowed to procreate but they do and those poor babies are subjected to a

life with parents who don’t give them the love they deserve because those people never knew how to be semi-decent parents and decided to never learn (that’s a whole other rant for another day). I don’t want to be that person, if I did have children, I would want to be sure that I could give them the moon and more, a happy, loving life that they deserved. At this point in my life, I could definitely give them a happy, loving life but I don’t know if I could give 110% like a child deserves and I don’t want to subject them to that. I’ll go more into that later on.

So there’s a quick snippet into being childfree. Later on I’ll go into more detail on some of the areas that led to us deciding on childfree but I just wanted to give a brief overview for now.

To wrap this up, here’s a couple things about myself: I’m a Virgo, lover of books (especially contemporary romance), obsessed with trash reality TV and house hunter shows, and an elder emo. I hope you enjoy this look into childfree living. If you are childfree, what led you down that path? If you’re debating, what are the points you’re weighing for and against? There’s no right and wrong answers, just as long as you’re living the life you want to live.

#childfree #childfree by choice #childfree blog #lifestyle blog

[kooktrash]

Maybe LMLM couple disagreement about kids 🫣 but they learn to work it out 🤭

ok so first, thx for sending a request in <3 second the thought of kids literally grossed me out but that’s just me, to each their own. so I tried writing this in a way that they’d disagree bc honestly neither jk or y/n seem like the type to think far into their future like this NEVERTHELESS, I tried my best but if you hate it I get it :’)

DRABBLE FOR: leave me love me

“So when do you plan on moving forward in your relationship now that you’ve moved in together? Can we see a wedding ring soon? How many children will you have?”

That’s what’s started the most awkward argument you’d ever had with Jungkook. You were still walking on eggshells since the show, too scared to really argue and it’s almost like you’ve regressed. You’re not using sex as an outlet for your anger you’re just bottling up inside but this time it’s all coming out again. It made you anxious to think you were upsetting Jungkook but you wouldn’t change your mind.

“I don’t want kids.”

“I don’t want to get married.”

It was definitely awkward for the ones who asked and they all had another question in mind: So why are you still together then? You and Jungkook got home after that dinner both in a bad mood. He was just the first to try and talk about it. He cleared his throat awkwardly, “How did I not know you don’t want kids?”

“Do you?” You asked with a small laugh. He shrugged, “I wouldn’t mind one in a couple years. A mini you or me crawling around.”

“Yeah that’s easy for you to say, you don’t have to carry the damn thing for nine months,” you muttered. Jungkook looked at you, his brows scrunched together and a tense jaw, “Yeah but… I don’t know, I’d want to start a family soon. I’m already 25.”

“Well I’m not staring a family with someone if we’re not going to get married,” you shrugged, “I’m not trying to be a single parent, I’m not cut out for that.”

“But marriage is just a piece of paper,” Jungkook argued following you into the kitchen as you made yourself a post dinner snack. He had to be careful with the way he spoke, it’s only been a couple weeks since the show. It had been like a honeymoon phase for you two all over again, filled with love and care. He’s pretty sure that mood is over and you’re back to your usual selves. That’s why you’re both trying really hard to avoid an argument. Still, he’s hurt you don’t want to start a family with him.

“Most marriages end in divorce so it’s really unnecessary. I love you and you know I do so why do we need to even think about that?” He asked.

“Because we’re talking about starting a family here,” you reputed back at him, “You think I want to ruin my body for a child with a man who can’t even marry me?”

“Okay but having a child is about creating a life with someone, we’ll always be together like that,” he said coming to stand behind you as you washed your dishes. His hands trapped you in the space between them and he rested his head on your shoulder, “Plus, baby making will be fun.”

“Like I said, I’m not going to have a child unless I’m married with a stable income,” you told him simply, “Besides, I don’t want one of those. Do you know how messy they are? We’ve got two dogs already, what’s gonna happen when we add a newborn baby to the mix? We live in a small apartment with pets, please just try and be logical.”

Honestly you’re very proud of yourselves right. He had yet to call you a bitch and you’ve yet to tell him you hate him. You’re not sure how much the show actually helped you two but it’s definitely traumatized you. Jungkook’s been one of the very few constants in your life even when you were broken up and the thought of actually losing him scared you shitless. He made it clear that if you broke up during the show you weren’t going to get back together again. It wasn’t necessarily a threat but more so a promise. And it was true, if not even being forced to talk about your problems, nothing would ever change. So once the show ended you’ve decided that if the time came that you would break up—it’d be for good.

You didn’t want that and neither did he but you also don’t think you two should be asked every time you got out with friends, if you’re getting married or thinking about kids. Like could they at least let you two figure out your own problems before you think about permanent life changes like that? Sure, Jungkook might be ready for a child but he’s also always been more impulsive than you. Right now he’ll he wants kids but maybe when you’re six months pregnant, having mood swings, cramps, cravings, maybe he’ll be tired of all the fuss already. He could barely put up with your mood swings now, imagine when you’re pregnant, yeah no thanks. You’re already a little insecure about the way you look and it might be selfish but you don’t want to give birth or be pregnant.

It’s not that you didn’t want kids, you did but not now, and not without committing to each other fully. He kissed your shoulder blade snapping you out of your thoughts, “What are you thinking?”

“I just… can we just work on ourselves first and then decide what we want to do? Like couple’s therapy or something? Make sure it’s something we really wa—“

“But it is something I really want and I want it with you, I just don’t see why we have to wait. Do you just not want a future wi—no, that’s now what I’m trying to say,” he cut himself off as he pulled away from you in thought, “Do you not want kids at all, or… do you not want kids with me?”

You turned to look at him, turning off the water and giving him a good look, “I… don’t want to think about kids right now. I want to think about us.”

“Okay, but I don’t want this to be another argument we get back to in a couple months,” Jungkook said with a small pout.

“Well clearly we can’t make up our minds Jungkook so we need to compromise on what we want,” you told him walking away to the living room.

“So you want to get married first?” Jungkook asked again following after you. You shrugged making him sigh, “Come on baby, don’t go silent on me. Yes or no?”

“I mean I would want to but not if I have to beg you to marry me,” you told him honestly. He looked down at you as he moved to sit on the couch. He reached across for you and dragged you into his side while he took the remote, “Alright so let’s get engaged then.”

“Well that’s not a really romantic proposal—“

“Not now, I mean once we’re ready. Once we go to therapy, work our own stuff out, let’s get engaged…” Jungkook cleared his throat, “I get where you’re coming from especially being the one who’ll have to carry a pregnancy so I’m going to compromise. If we at least get engaged—when the time’s right—then let’s look at possibly having a child? Hell, adoption or even fostering.”

You let out a small sigh, “I just don’t want to make any plans if you and I aren’t… I don’t know.”

“I mean come on, it’s either that or we grow old together in some little condo by the River with our dogs,” Jungkook shrugged with a smile, “I can do anything if it’s with you. And I really want it to be with you.”

You looked up at him making him send you an air kiss making you smile even as you rolled your eyes, “This feels weird… we’re not yelling or anything.”

“Do you want me to?” He asked with a playful smirk. You pushed him away making him laugh as he held you tighter, “But good, I don’t want either of us yelling unless it’s my name coming out of your pretty mouth when I’m going down on you.”

“Do you ever not think about sex?”

“Im not thinking about sex, I’m thinking about you,” he shrugged, “Plus all this baby making talk has me excited. Not saying we’ve got to mix ingredients yet but we can at least pretend like you’re not on birth control and I’m not wearing a condom.”

“Ah so is this really about kids or about cumming inside,” you joked turning to him as he made a face lost in thought.

“Both? I mean yeah I want kids but right now I want you so much more.” To state his point further he was crawling over you forcing you into the couch as you groaned in feigned annoyance. He hugged you like a damn koala bear just because he thought it was funny the way engulfed you with his size.

“I can’t breathe,” you wheezed out patting him to get up, “You don’t want to suffocate your future baby mama, do you?”

“You’ve swallowed enough of my kids that you’re already my baby mama—“ you pushed him off making him fall to the floor, “Shut up, let’s take a bath.”

“Yes mom!”

::.

also idk; do I hate this? maybe? maybe not? is this domestic boyfriend jk? yeah

#kpop #jeon jungkook #bts #kooktrash requests #kim taehyung #jung hoseok #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #park jimin #bts smut

[casparscunttt16]

Klaus Mikaelson | TVD| Imagine |

Requested: Yes! By @catmikaelson20

Warning: Obsession, Stalking, Possessive, Mentions of blood, and Death.

Klaus’s P.O.V:

Y/n. My sweet Y/n, We’ve known each other for 2 years now. 3 next week, well I’ve known her for that long, she doesn’t even know of my existence, but it’s a lot safer that way. I’d never put her life in danger she’s sweet and compassionate, funny, an overachiever, and a hard worker but most importantly she’s mine.

Today I woke up bright and early because Y/n has plans to go on a run, and I plan on “meeting” her formally today. I put on my running clothes and my shoes and get ready to leave the house. “Niklaus where are you of to this early?” Elijah asks taking a sip from his coffee. “On a run” I say turning to look at him.

“Are you going on a run or are you going to stalk that girl?” He asks again in a nonchalant tone. “I’m not stalking her” I murmur. “So what are you doing? Just watching her every move, every day? Or just lurking in the shadows? Which one is it Niklaus?” He speaks.

I clench my fists and try to ignore him, I move past him and get a bottle of water. “Niklaus she is nothing but a distraction from what is really important” he speaks again. I leave the house and go to the trail Y/n likes to run on. I start lightly jogging for about 30 minutes until I hear a familiar heartbeat. “Fuck it’s her” I said to myself quietly.

As she runs by I trip and fall in front of her, intentionally of course.

Y/n’s P.O.V:

I’m on another one of my morning runs at the park. I decide to be quick because I have plans today, as I’m jogging I see a gorgeous tall man with big beautiful blue eyes and pink lips. “Woah” I thought to myself, he’s hot. Suddenly he trips over a rock and falls in front of me. “Oh shit!” I curse under my breath. “A-Are you ok?” I begin to panic as I see blood oozing from his shin. “Yeah I’m fine” he sighs breathing out heavily.

“Are you sure? Because you’re bleeding from your shin and I-“ he cuts me off “I’m not bleeding I’m fine I can promise you that” I look down at his shin and the blood is gone? Wait what? There’s no blood? I could’ve sworn that he was bleeding just a second ago? What the fuck. “Sir are you sure? Because I know what I saw and I saw blood” I ask looking down at him through my lashes.

Klaus’s P.O.V:

God she’s so cute I wanted to kiss her right here. “Klaus, it’s Klaus but ma’am I can assure you there was no blood” I say lightly, I get up and look her up down.

Y/n’s P.O.V:

Is he checking me out? I thought to myself feeling my cheeks start to warm up, I smile subtly as I start to blush. I suddenly don’t know what came over me but I had to ask. “Do you wanna go get coffee with me?” I ask looking up at him.

“Of course” he looks down at me with a smile on his face, as he and I are walking towards the coffee shop we’re chatting and getting to know each other and turns out we’re close in age. I’m 25 and he’s 28, as we’re having a conversation I feel like I’ve know him forever. We have so much in common.

Soon it’s now 7pm and it’s getting dark out. I feel my phone buzzing in my pocket and then it hits me. “Fuck” I curse, standing up quickly and gather my stuff.

Klaus’s P.O.V:

A confused look creeps onto my face, as she frantically tries to get all of her stuff together. “What?” I asks confused. “I completely forgot I had plans with a friend” She says picking up her phone and her wallet. “Would you like me to walk you home?” I ask lightly, her eyes light up and she smiles. “Sure”.

I walked her home and from that night on we’ve been inseparable. We exchanged numbers and her and I have been on a couple dates within the span of 3 weeks. Me and Y/n have really hit it off, she’s on her way over now because we have a painting date. My plan is to paint her.

Y/n’s P.O.V:

I’m walking over to Klaus’s house almost right on time for our date. I’m excited, I haven’t been dating in almost 3 years now. For some reason each time I begin dating a guy and hanging out with them, they end up ghosting me I’m not sure why but Klaus and I have really hit it off.

As I’m walking by an alleyway someone snatched me into the cold and dark alleyway. “What the fuck?” I shrieked. A tall lanky man in a suit has me pinned against the wall and my heart is racing and I’m not sure what to do. I scream out “SOMEONE HELP ME!!” He muffles my mouth, and I feel hot tears begin to fall down my face. “If you scream I’ll have no choice but to kill you” he whispers into my ear. “I am so sorry I have to do this lady Y/n” my heart drops “I- how do you know my name?” I ask looking up at him with fear in my eyes.

“That’s not important, because you’ll be dead darling” He smirks whispering into my ear. The tears that had previously been running down my face come back again but faster and warmer, fuck I can’t believe I’m going to die, there’s so much I haven’t done, so much left for me to do. “Please don’t kill me” I say through sobs, he pulls me into his chest playing in my hair. “I’m sorry but I have to do what should be done” I feel something pass through my rib cage. “What?” Before I could utter another word I had physically felt my heart be ripped out of my body.

I stared at it beating outside of my body, I looked at him and back down at it. My mouth fills with blood and I cough it out, and my body thuds to the floor and everything goes black as I hear the man walking away.

Klaus’s P.O.V:

Is she going to show up? It’s been hours, maybe she got caught up with work? Perhaps that’s the problem, no she doesn’t work today. I pondered, “Did something happen to her?” No I’ve been careful no one knows of Y/n, well no one that’s wants to hurt her.

I hear the door shut and foot steps coming up the stairs. “Could that be her?” No she always knocks I thought. I step out of my painting room and see Elijah’s hand covered in blood. I smelled Y/n’s perfume coming from Elijah’s suit. What the fuck? I thought to myself but ignored it because he could’ve just been out feeding and Y/n’s perfume tends to linger everywhere anyways.

After another hour I decide to go looking for her because this isn’t like her, she’d at least cancel. I continued to walk around the city, and decided to turn into an alleyway. I was walking through the alley until I seen an arm out on the pavement, I recognize the nails instantly “Y/n?” I call out, I run towards her. And see her lifeless body laying on the ground as she continued to bleed out. I cradle her corpse my arms.

“No no no please baby wake up” Tears begin flowing down my face, I kiss her forehead. “Y/n please” I continued crying to the corpse before I started to piece things together. “Elijah?” It was Elijah that fucking bastard killer her. “Shes a distraction from what’s really important” that echoed through my head a couple times. I am going to fucking kill him.

He killed Y/n. My sweet sweet Y/n.

#niklaus x reader #klaus mikaelson #klaus mikaleson imagine #niklaus mikaelson #niklaus mikaelson x reader #elijah mikaelson #sad ending #tw death #obsessed #obsession #possessive #possessiveness #part 2?

[bridgyrose]

When they were much younger, Ruby met Cinder soon after Summer’s death. After a conversation, Cinder taught Ruby a cool technique, which she recognizes in the present. Cinder couldn’t help but swoon with pride.

“You’re doing it wrong.” Cinder took the pair of swords from Ruby and readied them once more. With a strike of the blades together, she created flames on the blades with the dust that was infused into it. She then hooked the handles together and spun them around until all that was visible was a ring of fire. A grin crossed her lips as she pushed the blades forward, sending the fire from the blades and into the training dummy in front of her. “You have to make sure you keep the blades under control. Too slow and the ring never forms. Too fast and you risk burning yourself in the process.” 

Ruby nodded and slowly took the blades again. “I cant believe your mentor taught you how to do this.” 

“Rhodes is pretty cool, isnt he?” Cinder smiled a bit and looked over at her mentor talking to Qrow near the farmhouse. “Ever since he took me from Atlas, we’ve been all over Remnant fighting grimm and training. And in a couple years, I’ll be ready to take the entrance exam for Shade Academy.” 

“And then you’ll be a real huntress, right?” 

“That’s the plan.” 

Ruby smiled and tried to do as Cinder showed her, striking the blades to start the fire, hooking them together, and then spinning them around as quickly as she could. The flames almost seemed to jump off the blades as they spun, reaching out towards the young girl the flames grew larger and larger. 

Cinder’s eyes widened and she quickly pushed Ruby out of the way of the flames, wincing as the flames burned through her aura and scorched her hand. She let out a scream of pain as she held her arm. 

Rhodes quickly rushed over to check on Cinder. “What happened?” 

Cinder pulled her hand away from her arm as she held back a few tears. “I uh… burned myself by accident.” 

“I told you to be careful with those swords of yours.” Rhodes pulled out a small ice dust crystal, crushed it in his hand, and pressed the chilling shards against the burn as a rush of icy air skimmed over Cinder’s arm. “I told you that using fire dust in your swords would be dangerous. It’s unpredictable in how it’ll act.” 

“I… I was trying to teach Ruby how to use it like I do.” 

“Maybe that’s enough training for today,” Qrow said as he walked over. “Ruby’s still a bit too young to be using a live weapon. She needs to stick to her training one.” 

Ruby looked away and moved her foot in the dirt. “I’m ready to learn how to use a real weapon. And what Cinder did looked really cool-” 

“And she’s a huntress in training. You’re still getting ready for Signal Academy.” 

Ruby sighed. “I know…” 

Qrow put a hand on Ruby’s shoulder with a small smile. “Besides, in a couple years, you’ll get to make your own weapon. Once you can prove you can handle it.” 

Rhodes pulled out his scroll as it rang and sighed. “That’s about it for Cinder and I. We’ve got to get going. Looks like Lionheart needs us to look into some grimm causing trouble for the villages.” 

Qrow nodded. “Thanks for coming around. Its been a big help with Tai finally recovering.” 

“Come on Cinder, its time to go.” 

Cinder let out a heavy sigh with a roll of her eyes. “I’ll be right there.” She gave a quick smile to Ruby. “I promise that once I get accepted into Shade, I’ll come back when I can and teach you more of what I learn.” 

Ruby grinned a bit. “Promise?” 

Cinder nodded and extended a hand to Ruby. “I promise on my life I’ll teach you more.” 

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Five years passed and Cinder found herself watching Beacon burn as grimm swarmed through the walkways. After Rhodes had died, the only person who thought about taking her in was a woman named Salem, and through her, she learned the truth. The huntsmen academies were flawed, only here to keep a status quo that shouldve been broken. And while she tried to fight against the truth, it became easier to accept as she was pushed away and declined from each of the academies. Desperate to belong and to survive, she found herself following Salem and learning under her. 

“Are you sure this is what we’re supposed to do?” Emerald asked. “Dont you think this might be taking things a bit too far?” 

Fire lit up in Cinder’s eyes as she watched the school burn, a small breath to calm herself as she spoke. “Its what’s necessary to take the relic.” Her voice shook with each word, almost as if she had been trying to convince herself. “We have to do what we can. Salem doesnt tolerate failure.” 

Emerald nodded and held an arm to her chest. “Right…” 

“You should relax,” Mercury said as he filmed the chaos with his scroll. “Though if anything, I think little red out there will put a damper on our plans with the way she’s tearing through grimm.” 

“Little Red?” Cinder pulled out her own scroll and zoomed in with the camera as she watched Ruby spin her scythe around to create a ring of frost and send it out towards the grimm. A small smile cracked as her heart started to pound as she watched her. “Looks like she learned how to do that after all.” 

Mercury looked over at Cinder. “Are you okay?” 

“I think I’m feeling much better now.” Cinder jumped down from the rooftop she stood on and smirked as she started to make her way to Ruby. “You and Emerald can start looking for the relic. I’m sure Ozpin will show us exactly where it’s hiding now that his precious school is falling around him.” 

“And where are you going?” Emerald asked. “You’re the one who’s supposed to be going after the relic right?” 

Cinder unsheathed her own swords as she walked, the dust in her clothing activating as a cloak of flames wrapped around her. “I’m going to get us a new recruit. One who will serve us very well.”

#ruby rose #rwby ruby rose #cinder fall #qrow branwen #emerald sustrai #rhodes #mercury black #drabbles #Might end up continuing this one #not sure though

[onepintobean]

autumn is returning home 🍁🍃🍂 [a drabble + some thoughts ❤]

It’s September, and the leaves will soon be the same colour as my tucked-away wings. I’m walking home with a cardboard cup of coffee in each hand, trying to decide what we’ll look for at the bookstore tomorrow.

It’s surprising: I’m making plans for the future.

I’m letting myself think again.

I think I’ll try out baking. I want to put my hands somewhere that they don’t need to be gentle. I want to make something. I’ll know I did well when it’s gone too soon.

Is my life that different? It’s September, again, and I’m going home to Baz.

-🍁🍃🍂-

It's so hard to say everything you're thinking in 100 words! So! There's some meta thoughts about Simon, September, and seasonal affective disorder under the cut ❤

I’ve been looking forward to fall, this year, since March. (It almost doesn’t feel like it could actually be here, now, and, already. To think we’ve made it through most of the year, now.) Which is to say, when I woke up on September 1, I had a very quick turnaround between having the joking thought that Simon Snow has SAD during the warmer half of the year, before fully subscribing to that headcanon. I’ll pull some lines that really resonated with me over these past couple of days.

Simon’s always having a rough time, but he struggles especially in the summer. And who could blame him? His childhood summers were spent lonely, hungry, and neglected.

Autumn brings Simon to Watford, his home, for the first time. And it brings him home again, year after year. It isn’t until autumn that he pulls his mental list of things he loves about Watford back out and finally experiences gratitude again.

And, in WS, Baz tells us that dating Simon hasn't been just sitting together, holding hands and staring into the middle distance like he described at the end of CO. In fact, there was a good amount of kissing. Specifically, in September, before Simon becomes less and less comfortable allowing Baz to touch him throughout the spring:

After that, it’s not until the summer arrives (as other people celebrate its arrival!) that Simon stops going to his classes and doesn’t get back up off the couch:

And here in the WS summer, Simon, thinking about his wings, longs to be himself again, even as he can't figure out how:

But he didn't always feel that way about himself or his wings. Back in September, while moving in with Penny, a happy ending was possible. Wings and tail and all.

I imagine this drabble being placed in time in the September following AWTWB. At a time once the haze is beginning to clear, where Simon can finally feel safe in feeling love and joy again. While he’s returning home to Baz and returning home to himself.

It's September again, and I hope everyone here in the northern hemisphere who finds the summer hard is starting to return home to themselves, too 🧡

#every time i set out to write a drabble i start wanting to write a whole fic instead #which felt appropriate this time #like it's right to be wishing i could have packed more in #carry on #simon snow #drabble #my writing

[thepropertylovers]

How We Spent Our First Official Father's Day

What a weekend!!

This past weekend we celebrated our first official Father’s Day as dads after adopting our kids last August. Okay I will admit, it feels weird to type “last August” because it feels like it’s been official for forever now. At the same time, it’s hard to believe it’s about to be a year (and also, it hasn’t even been a year yet?!). Crazy how time works, or doesn’t work depending on how you look at it. The entire thing just hurt my brain, so let’s move on.

My mom wanted to do something special for our first Father’s Day as dads, so she planned a celebration at my brother’s for us. He and his wife have a really fun house on the river with a boat and a big yard for the kids to run around in, and every time we all get together there it feels so good, like home. My brother was excited to host us for the day and was getting all into it like my mom, calling me and my mom back and forth to discuss what we’d be eating, what time we should get there, etc. How sweet is that?

The kids were so excited to go to Uncle Taylor’s. Meanwhile, I was excited to not have to cook or clean for the day. I was also excited because this was the first time in a while that we would all be together with our significant others in one place (minus my older sister Amy and her husband, who we greatly missed!!). It’s fun to hang out with your siblings and their loves as adults. I can’t explain it very well, I only know how I feel when it happens, and it’s a good feeling.

We were all in the kitchen making burger patties and brats and ribs while sipping on seltzers and cocktails. The sun was shining all day but it wasn’t as hot as it’s been thanks to a storm that passed through the day before. We stayed out on the boat the entire day and the kids had a blast. We stopped by an island and got out to relax in the water and let the kids (and PJ) jump off a tightrope into the water. Allan must’ve jumped off that thing 30 times.

We took a break to come in and eat lunch, then picked up Sydney’s girlfriend Elana and went back out on the boat to tube. This was our kids’ first time tubing and they loved it as much as we thought they would. Allan was laughing so hard he started crying. Riah was playing it cool and just laughing and smiling the entire time. Anna, on the other hand, started off rough.

It was our fault, though. As soon as we were about to pull off, we forgot to lean back so that the front of the tube didn’t nosedive, but it was too late and we went straight into the water head first. As soon as we went under, PJ grabbed Anna’s life vest and pulled her up, so she was only in the water for one second, but it terrified her, rightfully so. Poor thing. She ended up riding the tube the entire time, though! We were so proud of her. When we asked if she had fun and wanted to do it again, she quickly gave a sharp “No”. Understood. That was that.

We received a few lovely mugs that had various versions of the word “dad” written on them from the kids (AKA my mom) and the sweetest cards. They all made it such a special day for us. I don’t know what I would do without family close by (a huge reason we choose to live here).

So there you have it! That was how we spent our first Father’s Day as dads. Like, legally dads. We’ve felt (and have been) dads for three years now, and I know I speak for both of us when I say we look forward to being fathers to our precious babies for the rest of our lives.

[beckyandrick]

See you later, Boston! ❤️

It’s been just over a week since we packed up our home and took a one way flight to San Jose, Costa Rica. The last 10 days or so before the move was a whirlwind. I think it was only as I sat down on the plane that I started to process it all.

This move has been the definition of bittersweet. We absolutely LOVED our life in Boston. We made lifelong friends as a family, Kai had a great school community, we loved living in Southie, the northeast is the perfect combination of seasons for outdoor sports all year long, I am having so much fun in my job, Rick fell in love with mountain biking in the area and it has been so great to be a short flight from the grandparents. To say it’s been hard to leave is an understatement.

The week before we left was a series of ‘see you later’ events. Not goodbye…because if there’s anything I’ve learned from moving countries 3 times in the last decade it’s that the world can be a really small place if you make it that way.

Thanks to our sweet friend Julia for organizing, Kai got one last Southie beach day with her buddies and we all got to give and get plenty of hugs.

Seeing her give Ben a big hug was hard. He was probably her first good buddy in Boston and they’ve spent countless hours swimming, fishing, biking and even doing little triathlons together. But all the more reason to get together again soon!

Then I had to say ‘see you later’ to my Thursday running crew. These girls have been my sanity…especially during the pandemic lockdown when the only thing we could really do was run and chat. We’ve celebrated birthdays, milestones, achievements and each other on those early morning runs. I’m so grateful for this crew and for the effort to get together for a nice dinner out before we left (thank you Juli for organizing and coming home from Canada!!). These girls clean up well! ;) I may have ugly cried all the way home after our last run together. ❤️

The ‘see you later’ we all dreaded was Kai’s best friend Eliza. They are both only children and really created a bond the last few years. Eliza’s mom described the move well…their first broken heart. 😢 The girls soaked up lots of play dates and sleepovers the last few weeks and have already been texting and calling each other from afar. I’m hopeful that technology will keep this girls close until we can get together again. ❤️

We got super lucky during our time in Southie with a bit of Ohio. First, we hit the jackpot with our townhouse neighbors. Kara, Bill, ‘baby Thayer’ who grew up before our eyes and became big brother to ‘baby Shep’ are also from Ohio. So we bonded over the Buckeyes and small town Ohio. We had pizza dinners across our respective rooftops at the height of the pandemic and enjoyed watching the kids play and grow together the last several years. Kai would always excitedly run downstairs anytime she heard the boys playing out back. We didn’t anticipate just how hard it would be to leave the family we’ve almost lived with over the past 4 years. Thanks for being amazing neighbors and friends!

And finally, our other piece of home we have had is my cousin Megan. Megan moved to Southie last summer to start her career after graduating from Ohio State. After having ‘Meggy Megan’ babysit once, Kai would never accept any other sitter. So we planned our date nights around Megan’s availability and everybody won! It’s been sooo nice to have family in the neighborhood! Take care of Southie for us, Meg!

And just like that, the house was packed and it became real.

Ashe left with pet transport the day before we did. While we always know they take such great care of our dogs…it’s a hard moment. If only we could tell him what’s happening and we’ll see him soon. 🥹

We had been so busy checking items off the list just to get it all done that it all seemed to happen in a blink of an eye and next thing we knew we were at the airport…with 7 bags, one bike, multiple carryons and heavy hearts.

My good friend Julia drove us to the airport (thank you, thank you!) so after some quick tears and hugs, we were off.

As the saying goes…how lucky I am to have something so hard to say goodbye to. It’s so true.

While we are thrilled about the next chapter in Costa Rica, our Boston chapter was pretty amazing, thanks to the people who became our family. We love you all and miss you already. Come to Costa Rica!!

[coyotemeat]

Finally getting this tattoo means so many different things

Head attached to body, tattoo artist said “now the head has a body!”, somatics and the awareness of my body and nervous system and all the ways it is my home, what keeps me safe, and what I must listen to and love, the inside of me is my best side

Not smking and the lightest edys every other day or so depending on body pain, that reconnecting to self, that I haven’t known in so long, feeling safer and beginning to feel the end of the fog more solid. Reminder of this growth and a bday gift about a bday gift

I drew a thumbnail of the idea around three years ago, and one year ago almost to the date I drew the sketch and flowers. Feels full circle with this time of year being when I started apprenticeship at first shop. The storm changed these plans, but had also planned to meet with friend who commissions social media/marketing things around my practice. This journey has been lesson after lesson, and learning commitment to myself over and over again.

Coyotes and all the ways I connect with them, their ways of communication, their adaptability and resourcefulness, the canis letrans of it all

I would climb Mojave mountains and feel so free as a 8-10 year old. I would spend hours just out climbing and visiting spots I knew about, abandoned mansion with empty swimming pool, places with wildlife or views, just exploring.

It’s in the shoulder with the spider (that represented at the time of getting it Jessica feelings) on my back. The Mojave desert is forever linked to my mom for many reasons. One is her moving us there was a huge upheaval. It was the beginning of the end stability for me, a first grader who had to repeat half of the grade “because of the move.” It’s where her new husband k/hs and we began to be unhoused. It was the first years long duration I can recount of her being really under resourced and unhinged in many ways. Such huge traumas were endured together in that town, and she moved there “out of nowhere” and in such dramatics. She also left there in dramatics, as quickly as she came and with no consideration for the people she was leaving. Another is that her father and his wife lived out there, they are who I stayed with for two weeks after David died, and some of my most vivid of joy filled and safe childhood memories are at their home. I’m scared of visiting or calling back my grandmother over there because I’m scared of her dying. When I called my moms dad, on a whim to reconnect since I was 7, he died a month later. The fear of her death soon approaching and the grief around the reality of blood family in general has me disconnected. I don’t want to disconnect from that grief, and in therapy I’m approaching a place where I won’t want to. Another is that with my connection to Mojave desert family comes my Jessica baggage, like they literally suspected me of being her scam calling them. I had to prove myself through questions and everything, which I only have compassion and understanding for. My mom wasn’t resourced in a lot of ways, but also made choices that directly hurt people she claimed to love, people that helped her over and over while being let down. I don’t know what the desert meant to her, and in wanting to visit I feel this urge to protect my heart in ways.

Mojave flora (Yerba mansa and desert chicory) bursting through helps me remember that birth and death are the same thing, change is the only constant, and “as a species, as life on earth, we’ve been dying for millennia, but I don’t think energy dies, it’s transformed” I can become again and again and actually that’s all I’m here to do. Life on earth is long, never measurable by a single experience of it. I’m part of it all, of everyone and every thing. My therapist has helped me untangle my compassion from fawning and it’s so powerful, it feels like a cycle of decompose and rebirth

Listened to: Tori Amos, hurray for the riffraff, a sermon on freedom, and a hymn on sovereignty.

[taeyungie]

em, i don’t know what to do… i’m starting to not like my best friend anymore. we’ve been best friends since before we even turned ten years old. i’ve watched her grow all that time and i don’t really like the person she’s become. if i were to meet her now, i wouldn’t want to be friends with her. it feels draining to be around her for more than thirty minutes. whenever i hang out with her, i feel miserable and i desperately want to go home. car rides with her are silent, walking around shopping with her is silent, i don’t know… she’s my best friend, she’s been around for the lowest moments of my life but these days, i’ve been more at peace not being around her. i feel awful about it too because i don’t think she feels the same. i’ve been feeling this way for more than a month now.. i don’t know what to do!! i of course still care about her and all, but just being around her and who she’s become.. i don’t know about that. it hurts a lot ):

hello sweetheart, first of all i’m really sorry for taking so long to reply, if i only saw your ask before i wouldn’t leave you hanging for so many days :(

the situation you’re describing is honestly something very normal, even if it doesn’t seem like it, i know it’s confusing and that it just hurts a lot, i know baby. people change and we can’t control that, you could talk to her about it, see what  she thinks and if she’s aware of the changes, but if someone dear to you is changing into a person you can’t accept right in front of your eyes and they want these changes.. we can’t do anything to stop this, honestly we even shouldn’t. i know you’re holding onto a very big sentiment towards her because you’ve known each other for many years but you’re holding onto the old version of this person, you’re holding onto memories you’ve had together and you probably hope to see more of the old behavior just to be disappointed again. there’s nothing wrong about it, it’s not your fault and it’s not her fault either, people just change, and as much as i know it really hurts, it feels like losing someone, but having them right next to you feels probably worse because you just want your friend back... it’s not good for you and it’s not good for her either, if she didn’t already notice the change in your approach she will notice soon. it’s not healthy to force yourself to be around someone that makes you feel like you just described, even if they mean a lot to you. losing attachment takes a long time, especially that in situations like this we don’t want to move on because we never had the plan to do it in the first place, but try to look at it from the perspective that maybe you changed too and maybe she was meant to be there for you just until you grew up, to support you until you could walk your own path. you guys have to definitely talk about it, there’s no other way sweetheart, you can write down things you want to say, things you think have changed and prepare beforehand so it’ll come to you easier. you’re strong and you were probably very close with each other so i’m sure she will understand, but remember to be gentle about it. i wish you all the best and i’m sorry if i couldn’t help too much :( <3 everything will be okay, i’m rooting for you <3

#anonymous #answered

[bisluthq]

but if Taylor cheated on Joe and in April she was full on talking with Matty...why would she be so upset on stage, crying and all? (Plus all the other petty antics) Like you would think maybe she would be already detached. Although I do have to say that after hearing her sing countless times about how hard it would be if he left her etc etc it's quite impressive how in six months this is already her second guy. Like call me innocent but this was her longest relationship by a mile and she seems to be moving like he might as well be buried and death in her mind. How do you get over a relationship this long so quickly???

also for how long do you think Joe was checked out? I see a lot of people saying she wasn't doing well in fall 2021, but I feel like if it had to do with him they made it up. Maybe the problems ressurfaced, but I don't think they were on the rocks since then. According to the things we saw and know, I would say the real troubles must have started around Midnights release time and it got worse after that. So I think the last 6 months were the breaking point. Also on Twitter someone dug up two tweets from last october from people who said Taylor and Matty were together at a Halloween party 🤐 there wasn't any talk about them from back then so...it's sus.

The root of the breakup is quite simple to me though. They met during a time when Taylor needed privacy and peace and that worked for a long time...until the pandemic where I think she started to realize how much she actually likes being famous, being on stage and how much she missed that. After the pandemic, I think Joe slowly started to drop the illusions she was going to be this low key person forever. I don't think he didn't want to marry her, I think he was having doubts if she was the right person and if she actually was ready for that commitement and maybe to prioritize more a future family than her career. But we all know that ain't gonna happen anytime soon. Like see how she planned this tour and for how long it's going to go. Plus re-recordings and her movie...and I'm guessing she just wanted more limelight again being more confident and all. The thing is his perspective on it didn't seem to change like hers did. And I might be wrong but I always felt like by the way she reacted from april onwards, he was that broke up with her and not the other way around like we were told 🤷

I personally don’t attach much stock to Taylor’s personal life from her professional life. She definitely addresses the people in her life from the stage (as we’ve been discussing) like she picks songs based on friends there and she pulls unhinged ass antics when Joe/Matty/whoever is there but I really don’t believe she’s like breaking down publicly tbh ever. She’s a seasoned performer. So my vibe would be that’s how she chose to perform the songs and maybe she did want the audience to see she was Joever.

and as I’ve said I tend to think she was genuinely the one who broke up with him but maybe he did actually do it idk either way whoever did it did the other one a favor.

[dreamings-free]

okay gonna do some anon asks/answers in batches cause I have so many and I don’t wanna clog up people’s dashes..

these are all about the beard/break up

yeah I really doubt she’ll keep posting from L’s house even if she did before the break up was official but must have “happened”. that house is like his office we’ve seen him working there many times in the past couple of years; planning the first AFHF, doing vocal training with helene, and latest recording his thank you speech and doing radio interviews when FITF went #1. I assume he’ll keep using it that way. but it’ll be interesting to see once she starts posting again where she’ll be..

asjfhkajsfk even if she did dump him the first time around she came back like? so who looks more the fool lol. and yeah tbh most of her stans have only been pretending to be fans of louis. because them being together would mean larry couldn’t be a thing. and most of them are harries. see also this ask:

it’s pathetic is what it is. if we are to believe the official narrative that they broke up because long-distance was too hard and they’re blaming him? he has a career he’s been doing this for the entirety of their “relationship” so who isn’t commiting here.. (also the sexist shit I’ve seen about him being an asshole for “leaving her at 30 and without a ring” like.. women are not worthless because they’re unmarried jfc) but yeah as i answered above it’s not about louis it’s about them being mad about him not being kept straight by being with her. (also sidenote but they way her stans who a few years back wouldn’t touch the subject of “his son” with a ten foot pole are suddenly all about dad louis.. same reason)

no I definitely not a fan. like.. I don’t care about her as an influencer or whatever. and I’m looking forward to not keeping up with her once the final pieces of the puzzle falls into place like will she still walk both dogs, is she completely done working for L etc etc. Hopefully we’ll know soon..

tbh the most annoying thing about her is her stans who like to tell themselves that the minimal amount of work we’ve seen her do (sponsored posts, pr trips etc) would cover even an inch of the spending we’ve seen from her. a few instagram stories about an armani perfume or some sportswear brand isn’t gonna pay for all the wildly expensive shit she wears. and then there’s this gem:

girl attends one (1) fashion show…omg move over anna wintour 😂

like they’re living in some alternate reality she can’t even write a clever instagram caption to save her life lol

I doubt she’s had another job while working for L and that rumour about her attenting the royal college of art doesn’t hold water either. she’s been jetting all over the world all year there’s no way she’d be able to keep up with fashion school at that level at the same time. so we can assume L has been paying her well enough to keep her in endless balenciaga leather jackets over the years.

#i don't normally care enough to talk about her #now that's it's over some questions about the situation are quite relevant #so doing a mass answer under a cut to spare my mutuals/followers lol #$ #anon asks