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plainclothesdisaster · 6 months

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Red Knight - Chapter 4

DP x DC | Dead on Main

Jason Todd encounters one Danny Fenton in the streets of Gotham and suddenly he's thrown into a world of ghosts and monsters. Will he embrace this life? Or will it just end up with him dead again?

Read on AO3 | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Jason ended up at Danny’s place for a second time. After picking up his dropped bodega snacks (Takis and a six pack of Dr. Pepper) Danny pulled Jason out of the pavement and ushered him up the block and into the apartment Jason already knew was his.

Jason sat on the worn out sofa, hands folded. Danny appraised him from the kitchen, mouth full of Takis. “So what you’re gonna need most is some gear.”

Danny leaned over to a side wall and stuck his hand through it. He must have triggered a switch of some kind because a moment later an armory panel flipped around, revealing a rack of strange gadgetry haphazardly stacked on top of one another. Most of it looked similar in design to the belt Jason had found on Danny’s desk.

Danny rummaged for a second before he pulled out a canister and tossed it to Jason. Jason caught it and turned it over in his hands. “A thermos?”

“Your most important tool in ghost hunting. You use this to capture ghosts.”

Jason scoffed. “Why would I want to capture them?”

“You have any luck killing them?” Danny gave him a sideways glance.

Jason pursed his lips. Obviously he hadn’t. All his fights had ended in some variation of mutual retreat.

“Thought not. So— thermos. I trap them in there till I release them back in the Ghost Zone.”

“Ghost Zone?”

“The Infinite Realms. Aforementioned realm of the dead, if we’re being reductive. Where they live. Or after-live. Same thing.” Danny cracked a soda and held it out to Jason, offering. Jason shook his head, and Danny continued, “Since you don’t have a portal, you can drop your full thermoses off with me.”

“You do have a portal?”

Danny tilted his head for a moment, considering. “Not exactly. Next up— weapons.”

Not exactly. Another half answer. Jason swallowed any notions of follow up questions, and not just because he could still feel bruises forming on his skin from where Danny’s hits had landed (seriously when was the last time someone had actually left a mark on him?)

“All of this stuff was designed to work against ghosts, even for regular humans using it.” Danny gestured to the makeshift armory. “But the way you shoot ecto blasts out of your regular guns has me wondering— you might be able to enhance some of this stuff too.”

Danny pulled out a pair of clunky metal bracelets. “Take these for example. In theory these were designed to imitate a ghosts power of invisibility. They do a decent job of optic camouflage but it’s hardly the real thing.” He tossed them over and Jason snatched them out of the air. “I bet if you try them it will work all the way.”

Jason clicked the cuffs around his wrists, wary. Nothing happened. “Now what?”

“Do what you do when you use your guns.”

Jason concentrated a moment, clenching his muscles and feeling stupid. He must have been making a weird face because Danny chuckled.

Jason glowered at him. “This is dumb. I don’t have superpowers.”

“You do have ghost powers though. I think you’re trying too hard. Being invisible isn’t like firing something out, it’s like pulling something back, if that makes sense.”

“Not at all,” Jason grumbled.

Danny snorted. “I’m not a poet, cut me some slack. Just try again.”

Jason looked up to give Danny another glare, but he was surprised again at the casual intensity with which Danny looked back at him. Jason hadn’t noticed that he’d been avoiding looking Danny in the eyes and now he remembered why. He felt small under those eyes. Cornered like a feral cat. He wanted to-

“Oh!” Danny exclaimed as his eyes lost their direct focus. Jason looked down at himself and was met with a shifting shimmer of nothingness. Invisible. He felt a soft hum of energy from the cuffs that matched the hum of energy within him. He kept his concentration a moment longer before releasing it like a held breath.

“It works!” Danny smiled triumphantly.

Jason grunted in the affirmative, twisting the cuff on his wrist.

“Did you make all these?” Jason gestured to the cuffs and other gadgets.

“Oh, yeah. Some are based on my parents’ designs, but everything here I built.”

“Why? Why make all this?”

Danny shrugged. “Old habits. I’ll pack you a goodie bag of anything that might be useful. Most of it is pretty self explanatory.”

Old habits. Another dodge but Danny turned and started digging through the closet before Jason could ask more. Who has a habit of building weapons when you clearly don’t need them?

A minute later Danny dropped a duffel bag brimming with all sorts of odds and ends on the coffee table in front of Jason. It must have been hundreds of dollars worth of gear. It felt like some kind of con, or a trick. This kind of assistance didn’t come for free.

“Why are you helping me?” Jason asked it like an accusation.

“I told you. Because I can.”

Jason stared with narrowed eyes, unsatisfied.

Danny paused. Rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “It was coincidence that I sensed you that first night. When you got up closer I realized you were like me. We’re a pretty rare thing, and it’s not an easy life. Half life. Whatever.”

“But why help me. Half ghost or not, what if I was a serial killer? Or a pedo?”

“Or a crime lord?” Danny raised a pointed eyebrow. Jason kept his face at a trained neutral. “I’ve been in Gotham long enough to know the Red Hood’s reputation.”

Jason didn’t know whether or not he felt relieved by that.

Danny sat down on the couch next to Jason. Didn’t look at him. He fiddled with his fingers for a moment before he let them curl into a fist.

“For people like us… I know sometimes you don’t get the luxury of being the good guy. Sometimes you have to be exactly the monster they think you are.”

Jason stared at Danny’s hands. He’d seen a peek of the monster Danny could be. And playing with these so-called powers that Danny was teasing out of him felt like walking a tightrope across the Lazarus pit. But hearing Danny admit that he wasn’t some saint, he could accept that Danny really was trying to help him.

Jason picked up a pair of what looked like gaudy high-tech earrings from the duffel. “So with these I can make the ghosts stop attacking me?”

Danny was about to answer when the room went cold. Jason saw Danny’s breath. His smile fell.

“Shit.” Danny’s eyes snapped to Jason, serious now. “Ready for a crash course? Strap up. They’re here.”

Danny scanned the room like a predator. Jason saw nothing.

“Who’s here?” he said, grabbing miscellany from the bag (was that just a baseball bat painted green?) and clipping whatever would fit in his holsters. Goosebumps rose on Jason’s arms as the chill settled deeper. What’s here may have been a better question.

Danny didn’t look back at him, still scanning corners. “Okay short version: Gotham is super cursed right? A curse like this only happens to places when ghosts stick around too long. The ghost and the place become part of each other, kinda. They’re a different flavor than ghosts like those rats who come and go. As you can imagine the curse ghosts here have dug their heels in pretty deep. And I uh… asked them to leave.”

The lights flickered and went dark. Jason didn’t dare breathe. “And how did that go?” he whispered.

“Not great.”

Then an abomination unlike any of the ghosts Jason had faced yet phased through the living room wall. It had way too many legs and a mouth that opened too wide and a hulking animalistic form that seemed to ooze inky darkness.

“Super rude of you to crash my place when I have company over,” Danny quipped toward the beast.

Then a beam of green light pelted the thing in its side. An instant later Danny had vaulted the couch and jumped at it fists blazing.

Guess they were doing this.

Danny’s fighting style shifted completely from before. When he’d fought Jason it had been full of flourish, more dodging than attack, a cat playing with its prey. Now he was like a wolf, vicious and decisive, aiming directly for weak spots.

A blast of green energy from Danny’s palm to what Jason assumed was the creature’s head sent a glob of goop splatting to the wall behind it.

“Aw man that’s definitely going to leave a stain,” Danny huffed as the creature lashed back with a slippery-sharp leg-appendage.

The creature swung in a wide arc. Jason ducked and rolled, ending up behind it. He reached into the duffel if ghost gear for something that would work against it and pulled out… some kind of metallic medieval looking whip? What the shit was he supposed to do with this?

The curse ghost let out a gurgling roar as Danny punched what must have been its jaw. Heck. Jason might as well try. He flailed the flail at one of the thing’s rear legs. The ends of the whip immediately got stuck in the thick goop of it. The ghost didn’t even seem to notice as it tossed Danny to the ceiling.

Screw that. He abandoned the whip and pulled a pistol out, focusing his energy and letting a blast rip. It stung a hole in the curse ghost’s side. It spun around, attention shifted. Maybe that wasn’t a good thing.

Quicker than a pile of angry goo had any right to be it whipped its tail around and this time Jason didn’t duck fast enough. It caught him in the side and sent him crashing through the coffee table. Worse, his pistol went flying.

“Quit wrecking my house!” Danny shouted as he launched off the ceiling, elbow down on the ghost like a pro wrestler. They tumbled into the desk with a squelch. It gave Jason enough of a breath to notice the sword under the couch. Sure, why not.

He grabbed it by the hilt and reflexively focused his energy through it. The sword responded as he pulled it out from under the couch, glowing with energy that flickered like wicked green flames. He cracked a smile. Okay now they were getting somewhere.

He scrambled to his feet. Danny wrestled with the beast on the other side of the couch.

“Hey black licorice how do you like this?” He swung the sword two handed through the same leg that had eaten the whip. It cut clean through with a satisfying schlick. That chunk of goo slopped to the floor.

“Nice!” Danny beamed as he kicked the thing off of him with both feet. Jason swelled with golden pride.

He fell into muscle memory, relying on his old training. He didn’t let himself think too hard about the origins of the techniques and instead just relishing the feeling of the blade cutting through the ghost monster, slowly backing it into a corner with the aid of Danny’s blasts.

As if the beast sensed the jaws of the snare closing it lashed out one final time. It swatted Danny from the air and pinned him under a massive paw, nearly swallowing him whole. Jason froze, a shot of ice cold panic in his veins. The sword was cool and all but If Danny went down for real he was royally fucked.

“Thermos!” Danny croaked out from beneath the mound of goo.

Jason fumbled for the canister. He wasted precious moments fiddling with the cap and looking for an on switch.

“How the hell do I work this?” He barked back at Danny.

“Just hit the button!!”

His thumb found the switch then he barely managed to keep his grip as a beam of light shot out of the canister, hit the beast and sucked it up like a vacuum in the span of three seconds flat.

The lights flickered back on. Danny got up, brushed the lingering goo off his shirt, and flopped down on the torn up couch.

“Good job.”

What the hell.

Jason sat down on the couch next to Danny. “These things-“ he started, taking a moment to flick the black goo off his sword and calm the tremor in his hand, “They’re just running around Gotham attacking people?”

“Not directly. The curse ghosts aren’t like regular ghosts. They don’t attack humans. They don’t need to. These guys cause malice and chaos just with their rancid vibes alone, and then they feed off of the misery they cause. They’ve been in crime alley since before it was crime alley. In a way they are crime alley.”

“But they attack you,” Jason pressed him with a look.

“I shot first,” Danny sighed, “But I couldn’t just let them be.”

“Why not?” Jason pressed further. Danny wasn’t from here. He had no connection to Gotham, no reason to risk himself to protect it.

Danny hesitated. “It’s what I do. Ever since the accident. I protect people from ghosts.”

Jason supposed that reasoning made just about the same amount of sense as any of the justifications he’d heard from the other spandex-wearing dumbasses he knew. Himself included. Which now posed him with a dilemma.

It seemed so obvious that Gotham was cursed. Jason could swallow the supernatural explanation with ease. But that meant he had been fighting a losing battle this whole time. And not just him— Bruce and the rest too. Even if he ignored the curse ghosts and went back to fighting his own battles, he’d do it with the knowledge that he’d be treating a symptom, not the cause.

Dealing with ghosts night after night had been a nuisance but they hadn’t caused real damage. Not like what Danny described these curse ghosts doing, and not like what he’d just seen. He though of the dark shadows he’d seen in his peripherals ever since he’d started noticing the ghosts. They felt the same as the beast they’d just fought. He couldn’t ignore them now, the same way he couldn’t ignore the regular ghosts. Dammit.

“I want in.”

“What?” Danny asked, a note of surprise in his voice, and also a hint of delight. Jason ground his teeth together. He hoped he wouldn’t regret this.

“This is my home. These guys are fucking with it. I’m not about to just let them carry on.”

“So you’re not going to go after them alone?”

Jason shook his head no. Danny smiled.

“And you’ll let me give you the tools you’ll need?”

Jason nodded. Danny smiled wider.

“And you’ll actually call me if you run into trouble?”

Jason wasn’t stupid. The half-destroyed apartment was enough proof that he’d be toast if he tried to take down even one of those curse ghosts alone. Plus now he could begrudgingly and with absolute certainty admit that fighting with Danny was much better than fighting against him.

Jason sighed, loudly. “Yes, dammit.”

Danny beamed. “You’re hired.”

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #danny phantom #jason todd #dead on main #dead on main ship #danny x jason #dp x dc fanfic #dp #fanfic #red knight fic

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inconveniently-discorporated · 9 months

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I saw the Barbie movie.

One thing I did not expect was to have Feelings about what it is like to be a neurodivergent woman.

This wasn't even really addressed in the movie directly at all (aside I guess from having "weird Barbie" who lives separately from everyone else and takes in the "broken Barbies", and all of the super-positive and "uplifting" Barbies who were supportive of each other were OPENLY rejecting her because of things that were beyond her control and didn't even make her harmful to their society, just not entirely Like Them...)(okay I guess I lied, I guess they did address it and it didn't really click for me until now). (I'm still leaving that sentence in because I'm so shocked at how the point of this post is how minimized I have felt as a woman, TO THE POINT I APPEAR TO HAVE MINIMIZED THE WOMAN I CAN ENTIRELY EMPATHIZE WITH.)

Anyway. It was made EXTREMELY clear by my peers from literally day one that I was Different. I mean, I'd had one-off interactions with kids before kindergarten, but going to school was the first time I was seeing the same group of children every day.

I remember being utterly baffled. Many kids seemed to understand what to do already. Most kids were friends with someone by the end of the first day. One of my most vivid memories was from the first day almost 30 years ago, when I turned to one of the girls -- her name was Sofia, she had waist-length black hair, and her name card was a laminated piece of letter practice paper. I asked her, "How does everyone know this already?"

Her answer was that she went to preschool, and for the longest time I thought that was it. I thought that was the only reason why I didn't Get It, and never Got It from then until I graduated and from then until after I got and quit my first job and moved onto my second job (where there happens to be A LOT of neurodivergent people and I seem to get it a lot better now). It didn't occur to me that there were other kids who admittedly didn't go to preschool, who didn't have the same problem as me, and other kids who did go to preschool (because believe me, I was asking) who DID have the same problem as me (and looking back I remember at least one point where the teacher had to address the class about bullying people who were "different").

Moving from childhood into adolescence, it was made EXCEEDINGLY clear to me that I wasn't simply a Different Person, but moreso a Different Woman. It was made apparent that I was NOT an object of desire, and I did NOT deserve to think of myself as such in any way, shape, or form.

I didn't simply ignore makeup because it was expensive, and a little confusing, and somewhat of a sensory difficulty. I ignored it because I didn't think it was for me. I wasn't allowed to be one of those girls. I didn't only ignore fashion because clothes shopping was overwhelming and I couldn't spend that kind of energy in the morning putting together an outfit (not that I had a cohesive closet anyway). I ignored it because of the giggles I heard behind my back when I DID try to camouflage as A Normal Girl, because of the comments like, "Look at her wearing that belt like she thinks she's cute."

It affected me so much that I frankly didn't see myself as a "real woman" until I was in my (LATE) twenties. It's not that I didn't want to be a woman, it's that I didn't think I was allowed to feel like one. I was absolutely convinced that my husband would someday discover this "secret" about me -- that I wasn't a "real woman" -- and leave me. I literally thought he was lying to me about being attracted to me.

This did eventually change with work on my self-esteem, but one of the results is something that still persists to this day -- I feel simultaneously constrained by the societal views of women, while being almost entirely unable to relate. I went into that movie and left, today, realizing that I STILL feel like I'm Not Allowed to feel like I have some of these problems.

I've never been cat-called (though I have been screamed at by people on the street for not being desirable enough of a woman in public). But I HAVE been dismissed as an overdramatic woman by medical professionals, when my husband wouldn't get the same treatment. I've never been harassed for my number, but I HAVE had men harass and belittle me at the mechanic for saying "no" to them, who then promptly stopped the moment my husband walked into the shop and came up beside me. I've never been told I'm too pretty to be smart, but I HAVE had men refuse to talk to me and seek out my less-experienced male coworkers for answers instead.

So I drove away realizing that this dichotomy still exists for me. I couldn't relate to Barbie crying because she didn't feel pretty enough, because I've never felt like that pressure actually applied to me -- it was just always made apparent by my childhood peers that I wasn't, and didn't deserve to even worry about whether I was attractive enough. And I realized that these other pressures were the same way -- I didn't feel the pressure to be the perfect leader, because of course I couldn't be that. I didn't feel the pressure to fit in perfectly, because of course I just already couldn't.

I want to do extraordinary things, not because people expect that of me as a woman, but because people think I CAN'T as someone who is Different and Not Like Them. People are SHOCKED when I eventually adapt to a social situation (like a new job), and show that I can contribute at the same level as other people once I learn what I'm doing.

Kind of like how the Kens didn't even bother with Weird Barbie, she was just forgotten in her weird house, and she ended up being the one to help them all. And then at the end, when the Barbies realize what they've done to her, they apologize and she just sort of goes, "Eh, that's how it is."

I don't know. It's just a very weird place to be. And it can all probably be summed up by the fact that I didn't even register her experience as something I could entirely relate to, until I went to write this post about the experience that I entirely relate to.

#barbie movie #neurodivergence #womanhood #weird Barbie

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canmom · 3 months

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a big mercy in the world is that it's actually much harder to hijack someone's behaviour with some kinda visual stimulus than capital would like.

so despite the constant semiotic fusillades of advertisers trying to 'shit in your brain' as the ad hacking slogan goes, you still get better at shutting it out. the advertisers have to resort to more and more desperate means to try to get you to buy product. of course they sell this to their clients as subtle behavioral modifications that manifest without the target even realising. but despite the occasional breakout viral success, it's mostly just a zero sum desperate battle to remind you that they exist at all. most ad exposures are wasted on people who either were never going to buy the thing or were already going to buy the thing. advertisers mostly just copy other advertisers and follow fads but present themselves as the key to success like a court alchemist to a king. overall it's a cancer swallowing up more and more of its host.

this does not make it any less annoying.

anyway, ads are only one part of marketing, and since they kind of suck, the modern method to promote your shit is to try to get 'organic' promotion through word of mouth, positive user reviews on a storefront, etc. so of course many companies cultivate 'influencers', post shill reviews, buy fake metrics, and all that. since all these mechanisms then become immediately less trustworthy, an arms race develops of trying to camouflage the fake marketing speech as 'genuine', 'honest', 'unbiased' etc. the result of this on communication is bad, there's chaff everywhere, but once again the effort of the marketer trying to control you bounces off the wall that people hate it and will not go along with it if they can help it.

a more subtle approach is to just try and cultivate people assigning themselves the role of reviewer. this can create something a bit more symbiotic. the reviewer gets to build an identity out of consuming product and being a discerning connoisseur, and the stuff they like gets free marketing written about it. hence sites like goodreads and letterboxd. not only that but when the thing they like does well, the reviewer gets to feel proud that they acted as a kingmaker.

one weird upshot of all this is that a small company will get really worked up about a negative review on a platform from some rando and go out of their way to placate them. i feel like we're going to see more people exploiting this - ig the gacha mra shit in korea is in part a ripple of that, though those cunts went a lot further than just review bombing.

anyway I've participated in this machine. arguably all the writing about fiction i do on this blog is feeding into it. when i think about it, i think it stinks, but I'm not sure what else to do. there are authors i admire, and who are my friends, i want them to be read by people and have bread on the table.

obviously just because there are powerful actors whose primary concern is moving product doesn't reduce all the discussion of art to elaborate games around moving product. in some sense the 'product review' form is an invading force, best disregarded. but i feel like it would be unwise to ignore the ecological mechanisms underlying what gets made and how and what makes its way to my eyeballs... and how my own behaviours belong to that ecosystem. even if it's depressing to think in those terms.

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adobe-outdesign · 3 days

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Has wormadam been reviewed yet?

(Mothim has already been done here.)

Burmy is a pretty fun concept. The line is based off bagworm caterpillars, which, as the name implies, build little cases around themselves using whatever materials they can find as a form of camouflage. Burmy's different cases don't affect anything at this stage, just changing depending on battle environment, but they come more into play with Wormadam later on.

Visually, I like the look of the different cases, but I find the body structure to be a bit weird, with a long structure coming off the top of the head and a vaguely beak-like mouth. It's one of those things where the body shapes start to become a bit too abstract for my taste.

autism creature

As for the cases, I find myself liking the sandy cloak form the best. The plant cloak is fine but lacks a clear structure, and the trash cloak looks nice but doesn't really read as trash (plus the fact that it's insulation raises questions, like how you're able to get this form in PLA).

Wormadam is female-only, which is accurate to actual bagworms; the females remain wingless after pupating and stay in their cases, while the males become winged moths.

I do like Wormadam's design a lot more than Burmy's. The head structure looks less odd, the long pointed beak works a lot better especially with how it pokes out over the top of the casing, and they don't have the weird "legs" that the plant and trash Burmys had. Between the three, the trash is nicest visually but still kind of struggles conceptually, while the plant is strongest overall.

Wormadam also expands on the line conceptually; the cloak is now a permanent part of their bodies, and influences what typing they become—grass for plant cloak, ground for sandy cloak, and steel for trash cloak. I feel like the steel typing's a little out of place for fiberglass installation, but then again I'm not sure what type would make sense other than normal or something.

This mechanic is my only real problem with Wormadam—the idea is that the cloak becomes part of their bodies, but it still looks like it's just inside of a cloak. I wish that this could've been reflected in the designs more, like making the cloak cover the entire body so only the eyes poke out or something. Not a huge deal, just something that might've helped it out conceptually.

Anyway, overall, some great concepts here with decent designs. I'd honestly like to see more forms in the future; now that the games are more open-world, it would be neat to get a snow cloak form after battling in a wintery environment or something.

#burmy #wormadam #pokemon #pokemon reviews

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iceunhie · 7 months

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hello!! happy 200 followers :)

could i please request a drabble with a spy au with heizou? with hero! heizou x villain! reader as romantic fluff for your event? thank you so much! and congrats on 200 once again <3

slippery as an eel in water | shikanoin heizou.

third submission !! oh my god is heizou even in character.... anyways this is kinda set in half spy and half manhwa-ish??? au idkwman i hope i satisfy u with this, nonnie 😭 anyways haha this is a weird title but it makes sense. reader is flirty so if that's what you're into then im glad if it's not then um. well.

[3/5] herospy!heizou x criminal!reader (morally grey villain) (spy/manhwa-ish au) wc 1.2k, romantic fluff. enemies to lovers. slightly chaotic format. reblogs are appreciated.

Heizou trusts his intuition.

It is his guiding hand in his journey as one of Inazuma's renowned heroes (how he was dubbed as one was beyond his interest) his ally in his quest to enact justice to those who disrupt the city's peace, his only assistant in his pursuit of criminals who have no business tainting his homeland with their irresponsible crimes. He has never ignored its judgment, nor its pull.

Now though? Seeing you, the most infamous of said criminals lounging in his office without a care in the world after a recent stealth mission of his? His intuition screams at him to arrest you and put you to prison under the Tenryou Commission's watchful eye. A good hero, a good detective, for that matter, would deem that as the primary action. But Heizou has never conformed to the standards usually met by others.

[First Name] [Last Name]. Codenamed Blank, due to the lack of information about their personal history and how his agency doesn't know a thing about them part from their full name. Which might not even be their real name at all.

One of Inazuma City's most controversial and notorious criminals — a master of elusiveness and theft, commiting immeasurable crimes right under the city's nose and remaining undeterred, boasting a bounty adding up to almost as much as the Fatui in Snezhnaya.

A criminal is sitting on his office table, waiting for his arrival. They've been Heizou's one and only focus for the past year, and the man was committed to finally catching you like he's always dreamed of. It's why he applied to be one of the Commission's intelligence agents, undertaking numerous spy missions all related to you. Still, still. When you greet him nonchalantly with a smile on your face without a care in the world, to which he definitely flinches slightly at, a little caught off guard, there's a slight challenge in your eyes, and he can't stop his mind from overruling his trusty intuition when he feels that strange, suffocating and overwhelming feeling you always seem to incite in him.

"So this is where the renowned sir Shikanoin resides when he's not off trying to catch criminals like little old me." there's a playful lilt to your tone, as if amused by the notion of him staying here.

Electro Archon help him, for all he could think about despite your obvious provocation is how your clothing matches you so well, the dark fabric clinging to your form like a shadow in the night. The faint sheen of the knife (an obvious sign of danger, but he doesn't care right now) glints when it hits the light from the window.

Thankfully, you don't seem to want to use it for now.

"Are you aware I can easily entrap you here with just a call of the doushin?" his voice, though a warning, falls flat as he takes in your position on the wide table he uses to put his case files in. In response to his poor threat, you simply release a chuckle, running your hand across your hair, and Heizou resists the urge to flush at your actions. You were a criminal, practically his arch-nemesis! Yet here you were prancing around his territory while wearing that dark camouflage clothing of yours which makes his heart stutter and break his carefully curated composure. Skimming through his casefiles from your position, you take one out from the stack of them and examine it. Of course it had to be your own. He can already see the glare of his red marker with the label 'Blank - [First Name] [Last Name].' He sees the faint scribbles of his notes and follow-ups to his investigation of you and there's a slight quirk of your lips when you read through it.

"Well, will you really do that? I doubt it." Heizou feels almost flustered when you shrug it off like it's nothing, and again, he feels that rush of something he can't name overtake his senses. This is what made you dangerous. You knew how to poke and prod and poke at blindspots and use whatever charm and wit you had at your disposal to carry out your goals, then vanish the moment he's thought he's had you in his sights. And he thought he was the unpredictable one.

For the twelve months of this little game of cat and mouse, you were the only criminal who he hasn't caught yet. The thought is infuriating and yet thrilling at the same time.

He will admit, he enjoys the chase. Even if you were dreadfully alluring and so difficult to wrangle. It was like you were an eel in water slipping his grasp the moment he puts his hand on you. A very breathtaking eel, if he had to push his eel metaphor agenda. Man alive, what was he even thinking right now?

Heizou stops his thoughts of you and focuses on the situation presented to him. You offered yourself up on a silver platter. Do you even know how easy it would be to just cuff you right now and bring you down?

Yet he doesn't, for some reason.

He needs to compose himself, he needs to focus. He can't let you get the upper hand. So he smiles pleasantly, his sage green eyes oozing with structured and amicably made facade.

"Then maybe you've come here to look for redemption? It's never too late to turn over a new leaf, you know. I'm very flattered that you came over to me despite our very… turbulent history. I didn't take you for one to be attracted to people who's here to bring you down."

A loud burst of laughter escapes you, and you wipe the tears in your eyes right afterwards. "You're still as strange as ever. I was right to find you."

"Find me?"

"Yep." you emphasize the p in your words, "And you're not wrong. I am attracted to that." God, you were shameless. He considers himself to be the smooth-talker here, but you....

"You're even more handsome up close, by the way. When you're not busy trying to trail after me like a lapdog."

"..."

Heizou can feel himself flush at the sheer audacity of your words, and what's more, he liked it.

"What do you really want?" he snaps, frowning. At his query, you get down from your position from his table, and go so close to him he could smell the faint notes of the earthy and rich scent of Cyprus wood on your person.

"It's not a want, per say, but–" you stop, before you face him and get close to his own that if he moved forward, he could kiss you. "I propose a temporary truce."

He blinks, before his eyebrows raise. You weren't the type to do this. This wasn't how your dynamic worked. He was the one who sought you out, not you.

"A truce? What for?" Though he tried to take on a questioning tone, Heizou swallows thickly from the close proximity between you two, his Adam's apple bobbing just a bit, which doesn't go unnoticed to you. And when you smile at him deviously (he can imagine the devilish horns on your head already) something tells him he was in for a very, very wild ride.

Heizou trusts his intuition.

Yet despite his intuition telling him that involving himself with you and even hearing you out was a bad idea, he puts the nagging feeling in his gut aside for now.

He's still following his intuition, of course. Totally.

His intuition may make him feel like he needs to actually think about his decision this time around, but at the genuine look on your face and that enchanting smile of yours he can't get out of his head…

Heizou slumps a little, as he sighs to himself internally. There's no harm in losing to curiosity now, anyway. Who knows? Maybe he can get more clues to who you are. Why you do things the way you do. Yeah, that's right. He's only getting information from the enemy. That's all.

"Hello? Detective Shikanoin? You there?"

He snaps his light green eyes to yours and he finally dons his signature cheeky disposition. He clears his throat, and he watches as you tilt your head in his grab for your attention.

"I still don't completely trust a criminal like you yet," you visibly roll your eyes, "But I'm willing to hear you out."

"Alright then, basically...." you begin to start, and Heizou can only hang on to every word. And no, he's definitely not admiring your side profile or how you look in the lighting of his office.

So, he'll put off trying to catch you for now, he supposes.

#astronetwrk #heizou x reader #shikanoin heizou #genshin impact fanfics #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #heizou x gender neutral reader #why is he really fine though like #his moles #he's attractive as hell and i wanted to fluster him so #here we are #🔖 — mhie's spirals #mhie's 200+ special !

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autism-crime · 1 year

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Another headcanon I have of Knives is that he appears more inhuman than Vash.

Mainly because I believe Vash would put more effort into blending in with humans, he wants to get along with them and live beside them but he knows that his more Plant like features are off putting and uncanny, so he hides as many as he can. Humans can still see that something isn’t quite normal about him, but they’ll probably just brush it off and think he’s just a bit weird.

But with Knives, he doesn’t care what humans think about him, and he doesn’t want to seen as one either. Anyone who looks at him immediately knows he’s not human. His eyes are too bright, teeth too sharp, skin too perfect. There’s an aura about him, one that instantly labels him as a threat, as something more. He’s a higher being hidden in a false human camouflage, there’s so much more to his form than just what humans can perceive.

#oops I accidentally made him a lil eldrich #but I think that’s kinda accurate #I love the idea of Knives being really uncanny #also the bit I wrote about Vash kinda sounds like autistic masking #I may have projected a little there lol #trigun #trigun stampede #millions knives #vash the stampede #trigun headcanons

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stuffed-x-arts · 5 months

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SLAY THE PRINCESS Voice + Narrator Designs

sorry they arent all 'complete' sort of. I was struggling and it was starting to feel like i would never finish at all and that the slay the princess interest may slip from my grasp altogether and i wanted to finish these before doing other slay the princess drawings and !! anyways yeah these are mostly to get an Idea of how the guys look, there may be potential changes in future but for the most part these are the guys !! design notes under the read more teehee.

beaks are so hard to draw but im trying smh

SLAY THE PRINCESS DESIGN NOTES:

ok first of all. maybe sometimes i will feel like drawing wings instead of hands, okay? teehee. all in good fun. these are all how its Supposed to be, generally, but i can bend the rules or edit them as i wish lol !! pupils are also a if-i-feel-like-it thing !!

The Cold

- light blues, icy, cold colours.

- thin, bony, pointy. his 'ears' / tufts stand up straight. sharper beak. etc. mid-length feathers on arms, short on legs.

- thin, long tail with a few feathers at the end

The Contrarian

- warm colours for the most part, potentially some blues or something for contrast. all rather saturated

- puffy feathers.

- simple no-sleeved vest that fits well.

- thin tail with rough, messy feathers that ends with two arrow-shaped ends

The Smitten

- more pinkish, purplish, red sort of colours. potentially rather vibrant and saturated also?

- lots of roundness in his design, including a more curved beak and relatively heart shaped ears. short puffy tail.

- feathers dont reach far on arms or legs

- little dots under eyes

- fluffy chest.

- more solid body

- two toes

The Opportunist

- blues and purples, perhaps a little orange

- looser shirt, long + big sleeves. deck of cards. plays with the cheated. Often cheats.

The Hunted

- greens, perhaps, greens and browns more neutral, natural colours for camouflage

- big ears. to listen

- stronger legs, ready to run and dodge,

The Paranoid

- orange, yellow.

- overpreens and stuff. lots of bent or broken feathers, occasionally some rather patchy spots. feathers dont have a clean end along his limbs. the others have some bent or broken feathers too of course but he's got it the worst

The Cheated

- weird feathers at his neck. fun <3

- deck of cards

- also has a like. mark/scar at the neck

- edit teehee: so neck feathers can be like. jagged. same for the ends of the feathers on his arms. jagged and all kinda like the whole razor princess route, you know?

The Skeptic

- orange, cautious

- long tail with feathers at the end that resemble a question mark

- maybe a choker or something?

The Stubborn

- more desaturated in tone. red.

- shorter tail

- lots of scars

The Hero

- Bandanna sort of thing around the neck

The Broken

- dark blues

- marks beneath the eyes

The Long Quiet / Player / Body

- during the loops its more simple. two sets of wings, one at the shoulder blades, one by the hips. rather small, unable to be used for flying. all the voices take after them in looks.

- is something... more though, in his natural state. similar to how the Shifting Mound is different than the ordinary princess you see. bigger wings, a more monstrous form.

- entirely greyscale

The Narrator

- toothed beak, sharp teeth.

- has a mane. whether thats made of feathers or fur or hair or what? who knows. All that matters is that its soft.

- regular bird tail, regular bird feet.

- paws. sorta similar to a lions?

- might mess with his colours a bit tbh but generally it sticks to dark grey or blueish

also have some drawings of working on the narrators design

OKAAAAY thats all teehee hope u enjoy !!!!

#slay the princess #stp fanart #the narrator #voice of the cold #voice of the smitten #voice of the contrarian #voice of the opportunist #im just tagging the ones thatre like. properly coloured and all smh #i want to draw these guys so much more please please plea #voice designs #i have silly ideas and i can only hope i manage to put them into drawings #hope u guys enjoy or at the very least have a nice day !! take care teehee #FUN FACT i tested out a sorta like. mohawk. crest sorta thing. only a short tiny one. but i didnt like how it turned out so.#yeah i tested that with skeptic and hero i think smh #ok yeah thats all teehee lets go see if i can finish some more drawings (typed with hopeful desperation as i look upon my gallery of #unfinished wips)

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genopaint · 9 months

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DRAGON TYPE - Fauxvitar / Fako-o / Pseudodon

"These bizarre dragons have a malleable shell they use to pretend to be other dragons so predators will leave them alone. When they become Pseudodon, they can mimic any type they need to! No one's ever seen one under its shell."

"A Dragon with the ability to camouflage or mimic the appearances of enemies to confuse it's opponents" was suggested by @scraftcat! This idea stuck out to me a lot because I thought the concept of it being a weird Pokemon that looks like other ones was cool!

So, obviously this is meant to be a very gimmicky pseudo legendary! As you can probably guess it has an ability that lets it match whatever the enemy Pokemon is, making their primary type its secondary type! Last night when my power went out I was really disappointed with how it looked, and I wasn't happy with it. But coming back to it today and seeing all the variants together, I actually love how it came out. It's very weird and strange looking but that was the idea! I hope you like them too! Each of Pseudodon's variants are actually based on different already existing Dragon Type Pokemon! Can you guess what each of them are?

Also as a bonus, since Arceus actually has a "just in case" ??? form, I figured Psuedodon should too!

#fakemon #pokemon #creature design #monster design #oc #my stuff #larvitar #kommo-o

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failing-to-write-again · 1 year

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Imagine Confusing the Sakamakis using Optical Illusions

"Vampires are basically an evolved predator species, so their eyesight is pretty different to ours. Turns out that if you put a big geometric shape right up close in their field of vision, it confuses the shit out of their brains and, you know, makes them panic" -Trevor Belmont.

So what Trevor speaks to there is motion dazzle, a theory as to why zebra have vertical stripes. Basically vertical stripes tend to confuse predator brains more than horizontal ones due to how our eyes work. And think to what crossed used to look like when Christianity was fancy:

[photo above of potential iron age stone cross, note the intricate geometrical knot design]

[Above is an example image of vertical stripes like a zebra being hard to look at for long periods of time]

Vertical and geometric patterns which could confuse predator eyes as they do not know where to focus for a few minutes. It's not a repellent more a delay of sorts. See how even human eyes can start to make weird splotches of ovals or shapes when looking at the vertical stripes?

So from what I know of the Sakamakis they were born around the time wooden crosses were more common for poorer folk, crosses which would have less of an effect. So they probably haven't actually interacted with a cross like that which could confuse em. So imagine a sacrificial bride showing the boys optical illusions and them realising maybe some of the vampire myths hold some weight. You are already starting to get Shu and Reiji to warm up to you. For simplicity’s sake below is the motion dazzle optical illusion you’ll use.

Shu

Slowly two blue eyes peak out at you when you plop down in the hallway across from one very sleepy blonde. “I wanna make a deal.” You sat in front of the sprawled out boy holding some paper, waiting for any indication it was safe to keep talking or to leave him to his music.

After a short stretch of silence you receive an eyebrow raise, leading you to push onward. “Can you look at a picture for me and tell me what’s in it? Same return as always you can suck my blood and I won’t struggle.“ A harmless task as always for a simple favor, a comfortable habit formed not long after your arrival. Shu was hardly complaining, you were certainly less dense than some of the other women sent by the church and knew not to ask too much from him. Slowly removing an earbud and shifting to not be as slouched against the wall behind him, Shu nodded finally giving full attention to the girl across from him.

Flipping up the card revealing the image, immediately you saw his eyes begin to dart about and his eyebrows furrow in confusion. You begin to smile realising you were right.

“Remember when I said how I was interested in why myths about vampires existed? You though it was all just nonsense but thanks to my biology essay we now know where the cross thing comes from.” Slowly lowering down the card and allowing his brain to calm down you explain.

“Your eyes are more like a predator than mine so optical illusions that match camouflage patterns like zebra, it scrambles your brain for a few minutes because your eyes don’t know where to focus.“ You looked awfully proud of yourself in Shu’s eyes. He almost had to admire the fact you had figured something out he had not yet experienced. You had not yet given up on trying to find small human joys or entertainment, it was almost cute,

You didn’t get much of a response though, already getting pulled into his lap allowing him to even the playing field with his fangs...

Reiji

Three gentle knocks sounded followed by the squeaking of hinges as Reiji opened the door. “You are on time,“ a simple statement neither praising nor scolding, but the best you could hope for from the bespectacled man. Tea times had once been a cause for much more fear than now, cups laced with potions being given to you once a week when you first came to the manor. However, after a failed potion allowed you to drink and converse normally with Reiji he had since lessened the drugging to a minimum. You weren’t daft enough to question his change of heart.

Sinking into the large armchair closer to the window you politely waited for Reiji to introduce that day’s tea. “I decided to go for a simple pomegranate tea after you mentioned not having an expansive fruit palate, if we are to continue these meetings your knowledge on beverages should be improved.” You thank him for his thought behind his choice as always, allowing the backhanded complement to pass by you.

From there conversation begins as to Reiji’s recent workings and the going on of the household until coming to your current reading.

“Well, as I mentioned before I want to look into the differences between humans and vampires and why so many myths you’ve said to be false have been made. I have actually made some progress on both in the library recently,“ you begin.

“Do go on, I am more than content to correct or verify any claims made in the library.“ Reiji sets down his teacup and crosses his legs, he looked both intrigued and unimpressed at the idea of you knowing details as to how he works.

“To put it simply, motion dazzle. The myth of the cross helping preventing vampire attack began back when Catholics made very ornate crosses for their churches, these would cause motion dazzle which could be confused with being God’s will. A simple cross won’t do much but I believe your predator based eyesight would potentially be distracted by these designs.“

“I highly doubt something that simple could confuse a being such as myself, I would remember to not shape your knowledge to fit our bias.”

“Well may I ask you to see if I am right at all?“ Pulling out a piece of paper and passing it face down to Reiji you simply wait for a response. Slowly taking the paper and turning it over, Reiji immediately gets a reminder as to why he stopped drugging you. You were not dull, you were sharp and would not believe something without proof and the way a headache was beginning to form between his eyes and his inability to focus fully on the image was certainly disproving his statement. A hand coming in to block the image allowed Reiji to snap out of his thoughts. You weren’t smug however, much to your benefit, not saying anything as you moved to sit back down. At least that was what you attempted before you were moved faster than you could process to be sitting in Reiji’s chair as you hands were pinned to you sides.

“You’re lucky you at least asked before pulling such a stunt. However, I cannot excuse you trying to act above your station. You are a human, you are easily toyed with and you obviously need to be reminded of this.“ Leaning forward and burying his fangs in your neck, you knew better than to argue back while his ego was bruised like this.

Yet it didn’t elude Reiji how he had not bitten as hard as he could, and his knee hitting the floor as he drank leaving him in a position he would rather be caught dead in. Kneeling...

Well I cannot write anymore tonight. If this is interesting enough to anyone to want more of the boys I can certainly try to write more. I just thought this was a neat headcannon lol.

#shu sakamaki #reiji sakamaki #reiji sakamaki x reader #shu sakamaki x reader #Diabolik Lovers #diabolik lovers imagine #diabolik lover headcannon #probably ooc sorry

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aurosoky · 23 days

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Meet Alix!

✦ Species: Gummorph

✦ Height and weight: 160cm/5'3'', 55kg/121lb

✦ Likes: Playing the piano, watching movies, fashion, sour gummies, listening to unpopular music, the color green, meeting new people

✦ Dislikes: Crowds, nosey people, rain, mirrors, the dreams

✦ Personality: Alix in a girl to intense for her own good! She loves being around people, but is way too busy being an alien on Earth to actually form any healthy connections. Though she learns at a much quicker pace than humans do, when it comes to emotional and affective maturity, she's got a way longer path ahead than what she'd like to admit. Being a hopeless romantic, it's hard to find her not crushing awfully bad on someone. She loves nerding out with her friends and making music with her band, where she's the keyboard.

✦ Fun facts: She's studying Audiovisual Communication in college. She finds stereotypical alien paraphernalia hilarious and collects items with 👽 on them (and also cows). She has a fake hair dying routine memorized for when people ask her how she keeps her hair so pink all the time.

✦ Story: Alix landed (or rather, crashed) on earth when she was 8. She was found with no memories or belongings other than an alien space suit that's now too small for her and her Alien Antennae Muters (as she's called them). The person who found her was a boy who's older half-sister happened to be an acclaimed biologist. She decided to adopt Alix and conceal her to avoid... certain things Alix doesn't like to think about.

Although she was able to catch up with most human societal norms and eventually attend school thanks to some string pulling from her caregiver, Alix has spent most of her life in the dark about her alien features, having found out about most of her abilities by accident as she grew and not from the get go. Tired of screaming for answers into the void, she's decided to stop wondering about mysteries so much and just live life as well as she can. She's grown used to camouflaging for enough time a day for her to be able to finally move to the city and attend college, and, who knows, she might be able to find someone who's both hot and fine with not knowing much about your partner's life there. Hopefully.

Lore dump post that took way longer than it had any business doing! Anyway, here she is, my OC Alix! She's really important to me and I've been trying to figure both her and her story for about a year by now, so a lot has changed through time, but this is the info that is 100% canon so far. Excuse the weird grammar choices. I'ts late af.

#ik she's normative af but i just based her on myself. other characters in her story will have more varied body types #aurosokyart #aurosokyoc #aurosokyalix #oc art #alien #alien oc #oc lore #autism #worldbuilding

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weepylucifer · 1 year

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DE daemon AU with characters in no particular order:

Harry: a dog. some sort of huge, shaggy beaft. can switch seamlessly between scary police dog and slobbering best friend full of love. because Harry has amnesia, the two of them might not remember taboos like no daemon touching and she'll try to lick Kim. if you play Harry like he's trying to turn his life around, Harry can do stuff like groom her fur

Kim: skua. skua's got it all. it can fly, it's the symbolic bird of Revachol (Kim is sooo proud and vindicated about it), it's huge, it's majestic, it's a complete asshole

Evrart: chameleon. Edgar has a different daemon, but there's a rumor that when they impersonate each other, they keep their daemons out of sight and use actual trained animals to keep up the ruse. maybe because of that, their daemons tend to not speak much in front of strangers.

Jean: i don't care. a roach. die.

Cuno and Cunoesse: unsettled. Cuno's daemon changes all the time, usually into something small but loud and annoying (for posturing reasons). with Cunoesse there's a persistent rumor that she has no daemon, adding to her creepy child reputation, but it's really just that her daemon prefers taking small forms and hiding inside her clothing, huddled against her. unless you antagonize her in any way. then he's a ball of rage and poorly suppressed fear and puffed up and in your face

Steban: deer. duh. they say she settled the moment he finished reading the Elysium version of Kapital or something else of that sort. has the 1 in 10000 antlered doe mutation because Of Course. still has some faint trace of fawn coloring which Steban is highly embarrassed about

Ulixes: oooohhhhh he wishes. he wishes it were a shrike. especially because he may not actually know what a shrike looks like and is picturing some large and badass-looking bird. but he is not actually Nilsen. he is Ulixes. it is a mongoose

Smoker on the Balcony: cat. a very elegant and sleek one. doesn't speak to other people or their daemons at all except for when it's sexy

Cindy: crow. intelligent, creative, prone to wise-cracking

Noid: one of those stick insects that can camouflage themselves as flowers or leaves

Egghead: parrot. also constantly yells scooter lyrics

Trant: something weird where it's not apparent to anyone in what way the animal is meant to be a symbolic representation of his personality at all. like fuckin uhhh a platypus

#only like 3 of these daemons have names yet #it's laika (harry) megaera (ulixes) and esperanza (steban)#for the other ones i may think of names or not. this is just the roughest draft of an idea #posts by me #you know kim jumps a foot in the air and yells ''NO'' on reflex when harry's daemon tries to lick him #and when harry takes -1 morale about it kim patiently explains why daemons shouldn't be touched by other people #also i'm having fun imagining the student commies' daemons like playing w each other and frolicking while they're debating #steban and uli are like ah yes we are very serious we are debating the future of communism #meanwhile the manifestations of their souls are like YAY YAY i love you!!! i am having a great time!!!!!

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jellazticious · 2 years

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Doodle dump with Michel, the Engineer he thinks look cute, and their entire team

Little ramble of his backstory under the cut because I love Michel

So I will be telling this in shit post form. Sorry tumblr folks, my decent writing is for discord only snndxn

So Michel turned into that because the team Medic had a magnificent idea. Like one night he watched NatGeo and it happened to be how mischievous octopus are and he thought "lmao, what if Spy does that......

...

WHAT IF SPY DOES THAT"

So yeah, he went to their Spy and went "you want to naturally become invisible without a watch?? And also make your bones like memory foam so you can squeeze through tight spaces??"

"you son of a bitch I'm in"

And so Medic like stole an octopus from an aquarium nearby and like took samples from it to make this serum he injects on Michel.

But like the effects kicks in slowly and hypothetically it would last a month.

Both Medic and Spy agreed to spam Uber on Spy to see if it boosts the serum since it kinda does stuff to your bloodstream. I dunno, it's Uber.

Three Ubers in and he can slightly control his camouflage, on like the eight time, he can completely change his skin to match the surroundings on command, is extremely flexible and they tried if he can squeeze through a closed window and he did. It's disgusting but he did

BUT IT DIDN'T STOP THERE

Yes, he got some desired effects from rushing it but one month is one month. He's gonna get more from the serum whether he likes it or now.

How did he get the tentacles? Easy. Constantly being respawned. It's just like getting ubered but stronger since it rearranges the entire body rather than only affecting skin and blood.

One month after, he turned into THAT

Now that's out of the way, I'm gonna explain the doodles badly

The topmost doodles were the first doodles of Michel actually being a character. His gills are hella strong unlike regular fish gills that dies to a single grip. They're attached to his lungs so that's why smoke comes out of it. They're also extremely ticklish because yes-

Just don't shove your hand in it ffs, good lord, why would you do that-

The second one is a joke (*in the same cadence as "Dinkleberg"* Sussuri) because I'm pretty shit at anatomy in general

The ones under it are me showing off his squishiness. And messing around because of course I'd add that.

Then the painkillers one is because he grew two extra hearts and like he doesn't want them, it makes him feel icky thinking about it. It also feels weird when you're being active and you feel three heartbeats. Euughh, I wouldn't want that too. Yeah if you're gonna take off organs as vital as a heart while keeping the patient alive, you've want to douse them in painkillers while the operation takes like at least a day probably. He didn't get scars, they heal at an alarming rate

The next ones are mostly his Engie. His name is Sal (no last name yet) and he's newly transferred to the team. He's a rambler too. Michel being a listener finds that quite endearing.

Okay I can explain why he has legs. It's a disguise but it came from a specialized kit made by the Medic and the other Engineer. It was made to last for long periods of time and its harder to fade, it also does not disappear when the wearer attacks. However, it only has one guise and that's Michel pre-tentaspy

They totally did not prepare that because they know something will go wrong, nope, no siree! Guarantee!

My boy gained a bitch in the span of one day but the disguise had to fail because of course it would. Sal, like any rational person would, freaked out and tells the team, to which they all replied with "yeah he's an octopus" like it's a normal occurrence (technically it is to them) without any context.

It's okay, Medic told him exactly what happened

Also ignore how badly designed the entire team is, it took me *checks watch* 30 minutes while I was running on homemade chai latte. I did not look at actual cosmetics, I just slapped in what I remember. They cannot exist in game sbnddn

The two Pyros are the only ones with names (excluding Michel and Sal)

Dion (stock Pyro) and Mantha (kitty Pyro)

Also the Medic and Sniper here are together if that isn't already obvious sndndn

Aye dont worry, Michel and Sal winds up together because I'm a chronic Engiespy shipper and of course they would

One last thing I'd like to add is that I gave Michel my beauty marks (two moles on the chin and one on the nose)

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thelastspeecher · 5 months

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Weird Little Critter - Chapter 2: Study

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 AO3

Here's the next chapter of the thing @elishevart and I have been working on together! Enjoy some quality axolotl Ford moments!

——————————————————————————————

The sun had just begun to peek over the horizon when Angie sat bolt upright in bed, abruptly overcome by the events of the night before. She threw her covers off and ran to the bathroom. She had to reassure herself it hadn’t all just been a dream.

The bathroom door still lying on the floor indicated that at least some of what she remembered was true. Angie made a mental note to track down a toolbox from somewhere to fix it later. She crept through the doorway as silently as she could, holding her breath as she approached the bathtub. Her breath escaped in a soft gasp when she saw the mysterious creature still sleeping below the surface of the water.

Getting a good look at Ford’s strange form in the light of the day, when she was fully lucid, made it possible for her to notice more subtle details. His light pink skin along his back had stray tiger stripes of a barely lighter pink. He had random spots of black and light green that looked more like freckles than the kind of coloration that helped with camouflage. His caudal fin was a baby blue, as were his external gills and the tuft of material on top of his head in the same shape as his hair. His external gills flicked slowly, matching the pace of his breathing. Ford rolled over onto his back, exposing his solid white belly. Angie barely held back a squeal at just how adorable the movement had been. It reminded her of one of the many kittens the farm cats had back home.

All right, best get out of this room ‘fore I get overwhelmed by the cuteness and wake ‘im up. Angie glanced at the window above the tub. The moon was still in the sky, but slowly drooping behind the tree line. She had some time before Ford returned to normal.

Angie hurried back to her room, grabbed her camera, and took a few photos of Ford. Then, she went to get dressed and brushed her teeth in the kitchen sink. She didn’t want to be in the bathroom, just in case her friend transformed back to a fully nude human while she was brushing her hair. A faint blush spread across her cheeks at the thought.

Once she was ready, Angie grabbed a pencil and new field notebook, then sat down at the kitchen table to jot down what she had observed thus far.

His features are broadly similar to that of an axolotl, though that could be a false lead. Angie tapped her pencil against the paper, thinking. The traits that make him resemble an axolotl, namely the external gills and caudal fin, aren’t inherent to axolotls. They’re just juvenile traits that have been retained to adulthood. Presumably, any salamander that retained those traits would be axolotl-like in appearance. Ford’s also far bigger than any axolotl I’ve ever heard of. There are larger salamanders out there, but none of them have the coloration that Ford has. Of course, the coloration he has doesn’t fit an axolotl well, either. I don’t think even leucistic axolotls look like that…

Angie had been chewing on her thoughts and idly writing them down when she heard noise coming from the second floor. Water splashed, followed by a loud thud and soft grunt of discomfort. She smiled.

‘Bout time he woke up. Angie got up from the table and got started on breakfast. By the time Stanford entered the kitchen, wearing clean clothes but his hair still damp, the small room had been filled with the smell of brewing coffee. Ford made a beeline for the coffeemaker and poured himself a cup. Only after he took his first sip did he notice Angie standing at the stove, watching him with amusement.

“Oh!” Ford startled slightly. Angie chuckled. “I, uh, I didn’t realize you were…”

“It’s okay. Ya needed yer coffee to fully wake up. I get it.” Angie shrugged. “Rarely is there a day that I don’t take quite some time to shake off the sleep m’self.”

“Are you making breakfast?” Ford asked. Angie looked down at the skillet sizzling away in front of her. She looked back at her friend.

“I certainly hope so,” she drawled. Ford turned pink.

“You didn’t have to.”

“Do we have to have this conversation every time I make food fer us? I was raised right, Stanford. Now, sit down. The eggs ‘re almost done.” Ford obeyed and went to the table. He sat in the chair Angie had been occupying, raising an eyebrow at the open notebook with her observations.

“You’ve gathered quite a few notes in a short amount of time,” he remarked, flipping through the pages. Angie smiled. She carefully slid an omelet onto a plate and placed it in front of Ford, then grabbed her own and sat across from him.

“I’m a quick learner ‘n observer. It’s what I was trained to do. Ya don’t always get much time with critters, so you’ve got to be able to notice a lot ‘bout ‘em fast. It helps that I had a bit of a head start with the rumors I heard. But most of m’ notes are just speculation and comparison between critters I know ‘bout.” Angie paused to eat a few forkfuls of her breakfast. “I know I said you resemble an axolotl, but I ain’t quite sure anymore.” Ford swallowed his mouthful of food before replying.

“Because of my size?” he asked, sounding slightly sheepish. Angie chuckled.

“Yer definitely bigger ‘n any axolotl ever recorded, but there are some salamanders out in Asia what are even bigger ‘n you!”

“Really?”

“Oh, yes. The zoo I used to work fer had one of ‘em Chinese giant salamanders. That sucker was just ‘bout as big as me.” Angie chewed her breakfast for a few moments. “Yer features in that other form don’t resemble any single salamander I know of. Could be a hybrid or maybe even a whole new species. Frankly, given that yer some sort of were-critter, anything is possible! Ain’t that excitin’?” Ford was silent. He poked his omelet halfheartedly. “…Stanford?”

“To be frank…” He set down his fork with a loud sigh. “This is exciting. Or rather, it would be, were I not the subject. This is all rather overwhelming.”

“I understand.”

“But even with being overwhelmed, I am still most excited to finally get some answers about what happened to me, what I’ve become.” Ford offered a weak smile. Angie returned the expression. “I look forward to picking your brain further and discussing our own observations.”

“Yessir,” she said with a nod. “I reckon we can talk and plan after we go to the store.”

“Pardon?” Ford asked.

“Stanford, I told ya, yer current lifestyle ain’t beneficial fer whatever kind of creature ya are now. After breakfast, we’re headin’ to the store to find some dif’rent body care items.”

“But-”

“I ain’t takin’ no fer an answer,” Angie said firmly. She got up from the table and set her empty plate in the sink. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve needed the restroom fer quite some time.”

-----

“Can’t believe they didn’t have a single thing I was lookin’ fer,” Angie’s voice carried through the door of Ford’s bedroom.

“Are you still thinking about that?” Ford asked as he removed his clothes. He could feel a tingling sensation beginning to spread across his skin, as though he was getting goose bumps on his entire body. The full moon was going to rise soon. “This is a small town. I have to order most of my more specialized equipment to be mailed in.”

“I know,” Angie whined. Despite a fervent and thorough search of the various shops in town earlier that day, they returned home empty-handed when Angie couldn’t find any of the items on her list. “I got too used to livin’ in a big city where ya can find everything ya need without leavin’.” She sighed. “I guess we’ll just have to go to Eugene at some point.”

“We don’t have to. I’ve been fine thus far.”

“That ‘fine’ is very debatable,” Angie said firmly. “And think about it like a scientist, Stanford. We’ll learn more ‘bout yer condition if we learn how to make ya operate on the same level ya were ‘fore it happened.”

Dammit. She has a point.

“Yer not sulkin’, are ya?” Angie teased. “Don’t worry, I ain’t always right.” Ford chuckled despite himself. Suddenly, the pricking sensation turned into needles. He let out a gasp of pain. Angie shifted outside the door. “Stanford?”

“Please…go downstairs,” Ford grunted. Angie had managed to talk him into allowing her to listen to his transformation, but he knew she couldn’t stay.

Like F, she has too kind of a heart. It would pain her to hear what comes next. To her credit, Angie didn’t try to argue.

“Okay,” Angie said softly. He heard her gently place her hand on the door. “If ya can’t get out when yer done, smack yer tail on the floor three times ‘n I’ll let ya out.”

“Under…stood,” Ford managed. Pain flared through his flesh, seeping into his bones. He wouldn’t be able to hold back much longer. Footsteps sounded as Angie walked away. Once the footsteps faded, Ford dropped to all fours. He screamed as his bones rearranged. Six points around his head and neck itched, then burned when his gills erupted. A similar sensation accompanied the growth of his tail. The most painful part was over, but what remained was more uncomfortable. Ford fell to his side, groaning. He could feel his flesh rippling and shrinking, his skin changing.

After what felt like hours, the lingering pain and discomfort finally faded. Ford laid on the floor, panting. He didn’t want to move.

Angie’s waiting. She’ll get worried if you don’t communicate with her in some way. She might even take down another door. Angie repaired the bathroom door after lunch, requiring only a bit of help, as she couldn’t reach the top hinge well. Ford slowly, effortfully, got to his feet and traipsed over to the door. He stood on his hind legs, using his tail to balance so that he could turn the doorknob. To his relief, the door swung open with ease.

“Stanford?” Angie called from downstairs.

“I’m coming,” Ford squeaked. His high-pitched voice was quieter than he expected. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I’m coming!” Staying on his hind legs, Ford clumsily made his way to the stairs. “Dammit.” His vision, poor normally, was even worse in this form. He reached out a paw to steady himself against the wall and, at an agonizingly slow pace, crept downstairs. By the time he reached the first floor, Angie was already waiting. “H-hello.”

“Goodness, I just want to pick ya up and squeeze ya!” Angie burst out. “Yer too cute, consarnit!” Ford blushed. “Okay, now I got that out of my system…” She crouched down so that she was at his eye-height. “Why did ya walk on yer hind legs? Surely walkin’ on all fours would be easier ‘n more comfortable.”

“I’m fine,” Ford said. Angie pursed her lips.

“If that’s what ya want to do, I can’t stop ya. Now, come on over with me. I’ve got all my equipment ready.” Angie stood to her full height and walked into the living room. Ford followed her, continuing to walk on two legs. In the living room, Angie had placed a mat on the floor, which she directed Ford to stand on. She sat cross-legged in front of him and began to take measurements. When she measured the length of his external gills, her fingers brushed up against one. The gill instinctively twitched. Angie paused.

“What?”

“Did ya do that on purpose?”

“No, it was a reflex.”

“…Can ya do it on purpose?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never tried.”

“Would ya mind tryin’ fer me?” Angie asked.

“Um…”

“Maybe next time,” Angie said, smoothly moving on. Ford let out a small sigh of relief. He wasn’t opposed to trying to move his gills on purpose, but he was feeling an extremely high level of anxiety.

Even if I can move it, I doubt I could while being studied so intensely. Angie continued to take her measurements, jotting each one down in her notebook.

“There’s that done,” she said softly, setting the measuring tape aside. She smiled at Ford. “If you want, you can sit down. I don’t need ya standin’ fer this next part.” Ford gladly sat down, being careful to move his tail to the side so it wasn’t directly under him.

“Now what?” he asked.

“I’m just goin’ to make some qualitative notes on yer appearance,” Angie said. She picked up Ford’s tail and gently ran her fingers along his fin. “Texture, color, things of that nature.”

“And then?”

“Then I figured we could do some tests. Walkin’, runnin’, checkin’ yer vision,” Angie rattled off. She got up and walked around to look at Ford’s back. He shivered as she traced her finger down his spine. “I’m treatin’ this like the annual check-up ya get at the doctor’s. It’ll give us a lot of data.” Angie sighed heavily. “I ain’t quite sure what to do with all the data, but that’s somethin’ we can discuss together.” Ford nodded. “After I’m done gettin’ measurements ‘n whatnot, I figure we’ll talk about yer experiences since becomin’ this critter.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Ford said. He yawned widely. He was still a bit tired from the previous night.

“Oh! Could ya open yer mouth again so’s I can look?” Angie asked eagerly.

“Okay.” Angie came around to Ford’s front again. Ford opened his mouth. Angie grabbed a small flashlight and shone it into his mouth, a look of concentration and curiosity on her face. A look that Ford recognized as one he made on a regular basis.

Is this how I act around the anomalies of Gravity Falls? Angie muttered something under her breath and scribbled in her notebook. Sweet Moses.

-----

An alarm clock was going off somewhere. Ford reluctantly opened his eyes, blinking away a crusty film that had formed while he slept. Angie was slumped over, fast asleep, a few feet away, still in her now thoroughly wrinkled overalls and yellow T-shirt. She even held a pencil limply in one hand. Ford pushed himself up into a seated position.

Shit. We must have fallen asleep while discussing Angie’s observations. He shivered. Why am I so cold? Angie grumbled something and sat up as well. Their eyes met. Angie’s gaze briefly dipped south before rocketing back up, her face beet red. Ford suddenly realized why he was cold. I am not wearing a single stitch of clothing.

“I, um, I will go get dressed,” Ford stammered. He stood up. Angie’s face turned even redder. She quickly looked away. Ford turned around and bolted out of the living room. As he dressed, he desperately tried to tamp down his embarrassment and humiliation at Angie seeing him completely nude.

She was flustered by it as well. Just like me, she’ll want to move on from it without any discussion. Ford pulled on a turtleneck sweater, hoping it would stifle his shivers. However, even fully clothed, he was still cold. Ugh. I hope I’m not getting sick. He shrugged off the concern and returned downstairs.

Angie was leaning against the wall, paging through her notebook, a thoughtful expression on her face. Ford coughed quietly. She looked up, smiled, and tucked her notebook under one arm.

“I was just goin’ over some of my notes,” she chirped. “I figure we can discuss ‘em durin’ breakfast?” Ford nodded, relieved.

As I hoped, Angie would like to avoid mentioning my nudity earlier as well. He wiped his suddenly sweaty forehead. Spots danced in front of his eyes.

“So!” Angie said. “What do ya want fer breakfast?” Ford opened his mouth to answer, but before he could, his vision went completely black.

-----

Ford awoke to the smell of something cooking in the kitchen. He slowly pushed himself up into a seated position and took stock of where he was. He was laying on the couch in the living room, a thick blanket gently laid on top of him. There was a pillow where his head had just been resting.

Angie must have moved me to the couch after I…wait, did I pass out? But why? Ford pressed a hand against his forehead, suddenly aware of a raging headache. Why do I feel so horrible?

“I left some water fer ya!” Angie called from the kitchen. Ford looked over at the dinosaur skull he had repurposed as an end table. Sure enough, a glass of water sat on it. He picked up the glass, ignoring the dull, deep ache permeating through his entire body, and downed the entire drink. “I would’ve liked a heads up that he’s so good at pushin’ himself to fallin’ down,” Angie continued. Ford frowned, confused. “Oh, hush. I ain’t that bad.” There was a pause. “No, even ‘fore grad school I was better ‘n he is!”

Oh. She’s on the phone. Presumably with F. Ford leaned back and closed his eyes. His head continued to throb painfully. After a few minutes, he heard Angie hang up the phone and enter the living room. He opened his eyes again. She stood by the side of the couch, dressed in clean clothes and carrying a bowl in her hands. Steam rose from it, along with a tantalizing smell.

“I was awful shocked to see ya go down like that,” Angie remarked. “Reminded me of the time a diabetic collapsed against me at the DMV. But at least ya didn’t take me down with ya.” She set the bowl down on the end table. “I whipped up some vegetable soup. Chicken is, in my opinion, more healin’, but we didn’t have any, and I didn’t want to leave ya alone to go shoppin’.”

“Thank you,” Ford croaked. He picked up the bowl and took a sip from it. Like everything Angie made, it was delicious. Angie frowned.

“Ya sound awful!”

“…Thanks.”

“You know what I mean,” Angie scoffed. “Sounds like ya were garglin’ with rocks.”

“It feels like it, too.”

“What happened?”

“I’m not quite sure.”

“I was just talkin’ to Fidds on the phone. He told me ya have a tendency to push yourself too hard. But it didn’t seem like ya pushed yourself too much recently. Unless…” Angie trailed off. Ford looked at her curiously.

“Unless what?” he asked.

“Well…” Angie sat at the end of the couch. Ford made room for her. “When we first woke up, I noticed somethin’ that ya tend to cover up with yer clothes.” Ford felt his face promptly burn. He quickly took another long drink of the soup to avoid eye contact with her. Angie’s eyes widened. “Not- not that! No, I just- ya seem awfully scrawny to me. Have ya been eatin’ right?”

“I…” Ford set the bowl in his lap and rubbed the back of his neck. “I have lost some weight,” he confessed. “Since I developed this…condition, my tastes seem to have changed. Much of what I used to enjoy disgusts me, and what I can manage to choke down causes me to vomit roughly a third of the time.”

“Hmm.” Angie frowned at the floor. “Could be that yer gastrointestinal system has been affected, same way yer skin has. After all, salamanders don’t really eat what humans eat.”

Great. Yet another inconvenience with this condition.

“I doubt that my struggles to find an appropriate diet were the cause of this particular loss of consciousness,” Ford said. Angie looked at him. “I’ve been dealing with it for quite some time.”

“True,” Angie murmured. She leaned over to rest the back of her hand against Ford’s forehead. “Ya still feel a bit warm, but not as feverish as ya were when ya first passed out. Maybe ya just caught a bug of some sort?”

“Maybe.”

That doesn’t feel like the right answer, but I don’t know what else it could be.

“You should prob’ly spend the rest of the day on the couch. Unless ya feel up fer makin’ yer way to yer proper bed?” Angie suggested. Ford shook his head. “Fair enough.” She smiled sheepishly at him. “Sorry I could only move ya to the couch. I’m stronger ‘n I look, but no taller ‘n I seem. The dif’rence in our heights kept me from takin’ ya to yer room more ‘n the dif’rence in our weights.”

“It is quite all right.”

“When ya transform tonight, you’ll be smaller, so’s I can take ya upstairs to the bathroom,” Angie continued. She got up. “But fer now, rest up. I can stay in the livin’ room with ya if you’d like. Or if ya don’t want anyone ‘round ‘cause ya don’t feel good, well, I can manage that, too.” She looked at Ford for an answer. When he didn’t respond, she prompted him. “Stanford?”

“I think I know why I became sick,” Ford said softly. Angie cocked her head at him.

“Oh?”

“You mentioned bringing me to the bathtub tonight.” Ford met Angie’s eyes. “I spent the entirety of last night outside of the bathtub.” Angie’s eyes widened.

“Oh, shoot!” She slapped her forehead. “Ya done got dried out!”

“It would appear so, yes,” Ford said softly. Angie sighed.

“Well, at least yer not sick with somethin’ contagious.” She shook her head. “Okay, we’ll have to make sure ya stay damp in the future, I guess. At least while yer in yer amphibious form.” Ford nodded. “My question from ‘fore still stands. Do ya want me to spend the day in the room with ya or go elsewhere?”

“Um…”

It’s been how long since I had company while I was sick? Ford managed a small smile at Angie.

“I may not be up for conversation, but merely having your presence in the same room would be quite nice,” he replied. Angie beamed.

“I’ve always been a proponent of the idea that ya get better faster when someone’s with ya,” she said cheerfully. She picked up Ford’s empty glass of water. “I’ll top this off ‘n come back to look over some of the stuff I wrote last night. You rest up, okay?”

“I shall do so gladly.” Ford downed the rest of the soup and set the empty bowl on the end table. He then spread out on the couch, laid back, and closed his eyes. There was a soft breeze as Angie passed by him to set his filled glass of water down, then footsteps as she went to the table in the corner of the room. He opened one eye. “I heard some of your conversation with Fiddleford.”

“Did ya?”

“Yes. Apparently, you are prone to pushing yourself when you should not?”

“Not as much anymore. Had to stop doin’ that in grad school or I would’ve had a heart attack my first year.”

“Before then, you engaged in that behavior?”

“Yes.”

“Interesting,” Ford murmured. Angie laughed softly.

“Are ya tryin’ to make me come off as a hypocrite fer pointin’ out ya shouldn’t do it?”

“No,” Ford lied. Angie laughed again.

“Like I said, I don’t do it no more. But I’ve still got the stubbornness what drove me to push myself past my limits. And I don’t got any qualms ‘bout usin’ that stubbornness to fight yours. So close both yer eyes and take a nap, Stanford!”

Ford chuckled. He closed his other eye and rolled over so he was facing the back of the couch. Sleep came quickly.

-----

“All right, I’m done!” Angie’s voice said. Ford looked up from the book on amphibians she had lent him. They were in Eugene, due to her insistence on purchasing supplies that couldn’t be located in Gravity Falls. Thankfully, Angie had offered that Ford sit outside while she shopped in the specialty soap store. She held up the shopping bag. “I got ya plenty of things.”

“I really don’t need-” Ford started.

“Just think of ‘em as an early Christmas gift,” Angie said smoothly. Ford raised an eyebrow.

“I’m Jewish.” Angie winced.

“Then think of it as an early, uh, an early, uh…” Angie was fumbling for the right words, speechless in a way that Ford had yet to see her. Recalling how oblivious Fiddleford had been about Judaism when they first met, Ford took pity on her.

“Hanukkah, perhaps?” he suggested, closing the book on amphibians. Angie sighed in relief.

“Yes. Think of it as an early Hanukkah gift, then.” Angie rubbed the back of her neck. “I’m awful sorry, Stanford. Fidds must’ve mentioned to me you were Jewish, but I plum forgot!”

“Whether Fiddleford told you or not, I won’t hold it against you,” Ford said. He stood and handed Angie’s book back to her. She slipped it into her large purse.

“I’m glad to hear that. I didn’t mean to offend-”

“I’m not offended,” Ford interjected. Much like her older brother, Angie was perpetually worried about upsetting or offending her friends.

“I just-”

“Please, Angie, no need to drag this out. That wasn’t the first time someone has assumed I am Christian, and it won’t be the last,” Ford said firmly. Angie nodded.

“Well, I hope that ya remain unoffended after our next stop,” she said. Dread began to build in Ford’s gut.

“Where are we stopping next?” he asked. Angie smiled nervously. Instead of answering, she took a few steps forward and opened the door of the adjacent store. “A pet store?” Angie nodded and entered the store. “Do you plan on purchasing a pet?” Ford asked, following her inside.

I would have liked some warning, but I don’t see how that would offend me. Angie led Ford to the back of the store. They stood in a dimly lit corner, surrounded by occupied terrariums filled with moss and logs. Perhaps she wants to purchase a snake and is worried how I might react? Another possibility presented itself. Ford winced. Sweet Moses, please no. Anything but that.

“No, I ain’t purchasin’ any critters,” Angie said slowly. “I’m purchasin’ stuff fer critters. Well. One critter in particular.” Angie met Ford’s eyes. “You.” His stomach plummeted to his feet, his fear realized.

“No,” he whispered. Angie nodded. “Angie, you can’t-”

“Trust me,” Angie hissed. “I know what I’m doin’.”

“You can’t buy items for me here!”

“I don’t really have any other choice. They don’t sell mealworms at the grocery store.”

“Meal-” Ford cut himself off and shook his head. Angie used the pause to continue her argument.

“Like I said, I know what I’m doin’. I’ve got a degree in this, Stanford!” She straightened her back firmly, with a confidence that made her very short height seem taller. “Entertain yourself while I pick ya up some things.”

“Ugh. Fine,” Ford muttered, crossing his arms. Angie playfully punched his shoulder before walking away.

I hate this. I hate this! But…she truly does know what she’s talking about. The full moon ended a few days ago, and with Ford fully recovered from being “dried out”, he and Angie had gone over her meticulous notes. There were many instances in which he’d needed her to explain what she had written. Herpetology truly is not my area of expertise. I need to defer to her in matters regarding my condition. Regardless of my personal feelings about it. Ford took a deep breath. Seriously, though, is she really going to try to feed me mealworms?

“Dislike stranger.” Ford’s head whipped around. He was alone.

I could have sworn…

“Want food.” Ford quickly zeroed in on where the voice had come from: a tank containing a bullfrog. He cautiously walked up to it and crouched down to look at the little inhabitant. The bullfrog eyed him with disdain. “Dislike stranger,” it croaked again.

“You- you can talk?” Ford whispered.

“Strangers bad.”

“How did you-” Ford started. The bullfrog turned away and crawled into the log inside its tank. “No, come back! Talk to me!”

A talking bullfrog! What a charmingly mundane anomaly. And one Angie would love. Perhaps we should return to Gravity Falls with a pet.

“Don’t bother, brother,” another voice said. This time, it came from a tank to the left of the bullfrog and a bit higher, roughly at Ford’s eye-height. The inhabitant of the tank was a black axolotl, eyeing Ford with fascination. “Our tongue is too different from theirs to allow for much intelligent conversation. Only the basics.”

“…Our tongue?” Ford whispered. The axolotl seemed amused.

“The Salamander Tongue.” It swam closer to the glass and looked Ford up and down. “I’ve never seen a salamander like you before.”

“That’s because I’m- I’m not a salamander,” Ford said quietly. The axolotl cocked its head in a gesture that, oddly, reminded Ford of Angie and Fiddleford. “Or, at least, I’m not usually one.”

“Hmm. I thought there seemed something odder about you than your shape,” the axolotl remarked.

“What do you mean?” Ford asked. The axolotl shrugged.

“It’s difficult to put to an actual word. I just have this feeling that, even if you looked like me, you’d seem different. You’re a strange one. Aren’t you?”

“Many people have described me in that way.”

“It’s the best way to be,” the axolotl said cheerfully. The genuine tone made Ford smile.

“Do you- could you have any idea why I am the way I am?” Ford asked, unable to keep desperation from spilling into his voice. “I wasn’t always like this. And like I said, I don’t take a salamander’s form often. Just a few times each month.”

“I’m not well-versed on magic, though many of us axolotls are.” The axolotl stood a bit prouder. “Our species tends to have innate magical abilities.”

“Fascinating.”

“Yes. But because I’m not particularly skilled at magic, I don’t have any answers for you, brother.”

“Oh. I see.”

“I can tell you something, however,” the axolotl said. Ford perked up. “Whether you take the shape of one of us or one of them, you are always one of us. I can sense it. Your being is salamander. Not human.” Ice spread through Ford’s veins.

“Mom, look, look!” A child sprinted into the corner, his beleaguered mother behind him. The child pressed his face against the glass of a tank containing a tarantula. “I want it!” While the weary woman explained to her son that she wouldn’t purchase the tarantula, Ford placed his hand against the glass of the axolotl’s tank. The axolotl placed one of its own tiny hands on the glass as well. He smiled weakly at the salamander.

“Stanford?” Ford looked over his shoulder. Angie had returned, carrying bags covered in the store’s logo. “I’m all done. We can head home.”

“Ah. Yes.” Ford followed Angie out of the store. He put his hands in his pants pockets as they walked past the storefronts of the strip mall. “What did you purchase?”

“All sorts of goodies. Mostly worms ‘n crickets.”

“You do realize that, even in my other form, they will be so small that the entire supply would be one or two meals,” Ford said.

“I’ve read through that Journal of yours,” Angie said. She grinned crookedly. “Those size-changin’ crystals will help the bugs last us a while.”

“Oh. That’s quite clever.”

“Thank you! I also got ya some supplements.”

“Supplements?”

“Some amphibians and reptiles need extra calcium or things like that ‘cause their diet don’t simulate what they’d have in nature well enough. I think it’d be a good idea to do the same fer you. Just to see if it helps ya feel better. If not, we don’t need to keep doin’ it.”

“That sounds reasonable,” Ford replied. He frowned. “How do they taste?”

“…I have no idea.”

“You’ve never asked a salamander about that?” he teased. Angie laughed.

“I have, but I ain’t ever gotten an answer. After all, they can’t quite talk.”

“Maybe you just can’t understand their language,” Ford said.

“Oh, and you can?”

“Well…”

“No!” Angie gasped. She grabbed his arm. “Stanford, you can understand salamanders?!”

“Not so loud,” Ford hissed. He grinned. “But, yes. Though I didn’t discover until today.” Angie let out a squeal of delight.

“Tell. Me. Everything!”

“Gladly.”

-----

When the man and woman got into their car, Melvin quickly backtracked, retreating to the closest pay phone. The man and woman had been quiet enough to keep most people from overhearing them. But Melvin wasn’t most people. When he heard the woman’s initial squeal, he paid attention to the rest of the hushed conversation, following close behind the entire time.

He was rewarded for his thoroughness. The man was apparently harboring a magical secret. A secret that one of Melvin’s clients would be interested in. Getting his hands on the man would be easy enough. But he would need someone else to do the transportation. Luckily, he knew just the money-desperate soul for the job.

Melvin put coins into the payphone and dialed the number. After a few rings, the person on the other end picked up.

“Stan Pines.”

#Gravity Falls #Gravity Falls AU #Axolotl Ford AU #Stanford Pines #Angie McGucket #fanfiction #my writing #my stuff #speecher speaks

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