#whats the joke?

[ligitnessbagels-blog]

I'm Herby banning myself from playing video games late at night or before bed.

I have recently started playing Omori and have already dedicated hours to game I don't even have hours to play. Well tonight I started playing while it was dark out and by the time I was done playing the sun is out. Hooray!

In other words, I accidentally pulled an all nighter because of Omori so I'm banning myself from playing it so late again.

P.S. by recently I mean the day before yesterday. I've been playing for two days and the game says I've played for nearly 15 hours. You do the math.

#omori fandom #video games #insomniac problems #sleep deprived #i didnt sleep at all #banning myself from video games #an insomniac plays Omori #whats the joke? #i am. #obviously.

[miniaturecatmentality]

guys I just found the greatest video on the internet

#tiktok #tiktoks #well actually this is from #instagram reels #Instagram #but we all know what i mean #short form videos #comedy #hahaha #🤓 #funny #praying mantis #entomology #entomology jokes #and something else entirely #dogs #little dog #chihuahua #creachur #bad jokes #yeah #i think thats enough tags

[pirateprincessjess]

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

#still not really sure what part of this joke was funny? #cuz if the prank had worked #then they would have made an 8 year old think she had lost her family and been rejected by god #which isn’t really much of a joke #Christian’s are weird yall #pirateprincessjess

[futurebird]

The "B" is *not* for "buses"

Via mastodon(aka the fediverse)

#everyone welcome #lgbtq #gay jokes #buses #pride month #rainbow flag #lgbtq pride #not you #what did buses do? #I love public transportation

[marypsue]

Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.

All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.

#your brother is a vampire. he's sitting across the table from you chatting with your mother about her day #and he's dead and he's gone and he's never coming back. #he laughs the same and he talks the same but his arm is cold when he grabs you in a headlock and your dog won't be in the same room with hi #he'll still hang around watching TV with you and give you wedgies and make stupid jokes #but you can't tell him about the bullies at school anymore because this thing with your brother's face will just find them and kill them. #and not even stupid fucking Jason deserves what the monster in your dead brother's skin would do to him. #your brother is dead and lost and right there in arm's reach and gone forever with no hope of ever getting him back. #i'm sure there are corollaries to be written about like ghosts and zombies but this is the one i'm personally hung up on recently

[visit-ba-sing-se]

I love ending e-mails with "thank you in advance". Like what are you going to now? Not do the thing I already thanked you for? Bring dishonor on yourself like that? No? I didn't think so. Check mate you have been played by the master of manipulation.

#So what if my last refuge is bad jokes #Every Day i get Emails #And have to make phone calls

[seriousturd]

#tumblr polls #random polls #poll time #i love looking at usernames and wondering what it MEANS #so many of you guys have such cool sounding usernames #i just picked random words i like LMAO #serious because people always see me as super serious irl (i'm just a very anxious perfectionist lol) #and turd because i have the sense of humor of a toddler and think poop jokes are funny

[brawltogethernow]

Ominous howled rendition of "Silent Night" recorded in the woods at 1AM this morning.

#christmas #music #no that's not a joke or an art premise no i don't know what was up with it

[vraska-theunseen]

DID YOU ALL KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO WHATEVER UOU WANT WHEN YOURW MAKING ART ISNT THAT WILD

#alex talks #this was a piece i didn't really know what to do with so i put the holes in at first and then someone im in class with suggested i bite it #(i think she was joking) and after i took out a chunk she said she meant just put an indent so i tried that too and that's why it's mismash

[gimmickblog-taxonomist]

How do you become a gimmick blog?

step 1: think of a gimmick

step 2: blog

#taxonomist talks #ask #this is somewhat joking but is pretty accurate #think #what did dailyquests do? #they thought of a gimmick (giving daily quests as if living in an RPG). and then blogged. #what else to say

[randomfandomss]

#good omens #go s2 spoilers #good omens s2 #good omens season 2 #good omens memes #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #aziraphale x crowley #ineffable husbands #lmao ive seen a lot of these going around idk if this has been done yet anyway heres my take #it is literally the reverse that happened #i joked about it before the season released that what if after every crowley gies to super mega hell whatever 😭😭😭😭😭 #did not age well

[z-mizcellaneous-z]

Fucking CRYING IM USING THAT PHRASE FOR EVERYTHING NOW

#My brother in ra what the fuck am I supposed to do with this????? #*gestures to all my trauma* #memes #meme #funny #haha #joke #jokes #mizismiz

[franeridart]

more dragon

#my sketches #one piece #monkey d luffy #monkey d dragon #monkey d garp #real talk and jokes aside i think dragons childhood with garp wasn’t all that bad #since he actually was a marine at some point right so he must have at the very least respected garp #garps way of raising a kid that actually wanted to be a marine must have been somewhat different too #all in all i think leaving luffy to garp wouldn’t sound like such a weird thought to dragon ?? #i get why hed go there i mean #garp tho…………….. #what was that man even thinking………………….

[ninjasmudge]

thats a red flag narinder, get that crown back while you still can

+ top panel without text below the cut

#cult of the lamb #cotl #rspect my privacy at this time by not asking what came over me to make a fully colored comic #cotl narinder #cotl lamb #cotl aym #my art #actully im like really proud of this not sure why it happened but it did #anyway i have at least another 4 cotl jokes to get out right now #if you look real close you can see my hcs for lambs design before and after they got the red crown #and also i need everyone to notice aym and lambs eldrich shadow #and yes i know you can both name the cult anything AND you can have a cult in someones name with it being their cult but consider. funny #narinder

[inkskinned]

fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.

hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.

hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy

hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it

hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently

hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love

horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF puppet and Michael Afton got beef,,

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #michael afton #mike schmidt #the marionette #the puppet #charlie emily #fnaf #fnaf 2 #fnaf movie #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #I don’t think the puppet likes Michael much pff #doesn’t hate him just knows what he did #I like how the puppet is seemingly more aware than most haunted animatronics #so it makes sense to me they’d talk so forwardly to the others #she’s mostly just joking and teasing here #I also think about how violent they were as lefty #so this blunt attitude + hostility in the games towards Michael #just adds to this personality #PUPPET MENTIONED 🔥🔥 #we love the puppet