#who lnows where the fuck this is going

[tacochippy]

anyone else ever just realise . like. just how many people have yelled/screamed at you, broken things, or hit you, or threaten you, or hurt you in some capacity and you just think that like with that sheer volume of people that have done these things to me, surely it must be me?

#like i can think of at LEAST 4 people who have specifically droppsd #whatever theyre doing. go into the next room where i am. #JUST so they can hit me #i can think of plenty more who have yelled or screamed #and a good fee who hsve broken things or threatened me #even that time i got raped #like #its. probably me #and i keep waiting for the people who love me to Stop Loving Me and to just #fucking hit me already #or beat me to get it over with #and theyrr NOT #andbit feels like im just waiting for fhe other shoe to just drop already so i can move on #lnowing its my fault again #im just #feeling things rn #vent #vent post

[dgaftilwedie]

PLZ TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU LNOW ABT THE GHOULS AND SPECIFICALLY WHICH INDS TO OBSESS IVER

(I’m Negatusing myself and getting second hand love for this band)

EASY PEASY ok so........ im gonna give u a run-down on the current ghouls n my babies aether n sunny MWAAHAHA

EVERYTHING'S BELOW THE CUT BC IT'S GONNA BE LONG AS FOOK

dewdrop (or sodo/sodomizer, depends on who u ask) ^___^

he's the lead guitarist + a fire ghoul (during era 4, he was the bassist + a water ghoul [the position in the band corresponds with the element] which is why his name is dew)

he's one of the bolder ghouls. he's usually on the stage front n center and he's a little bit hotheaded. he's known for making a lot of sexual gestures towards the other ghouls and the audience, like his infamous jerking-off-confetti-thing. he also teases the other ghouls, especially aether when he was still in the band. they used to get in guitar duels and they'd throw picks at each other. he's very soft with rain, contrary to the way he is with everything else. he's very rough when he plays the guitar and there was a concert where he ended up bleeding all over the guitar because of how hard he was playing it. he's also often taking hits of swiss's vape (aka the Ghape). in short, he's an evil, stompy, satanic little SHIT.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

phantom :3

my sweet beautiful shithead......... he's the quintessence ghoul / rhythm guitarist who succeeded aether (he is also my favorite) (next to rain ofc)

certified papa harrasser. he does these super dope (and super hot) tricks with his guitar. there isn't much information on him because he's newer but the fandom has given him the roll of the annoying little brother. some people see him as rain and dew's love child LMFAO he interacts with them the most, especially dew. im talkin getting on his knees for the demon. and i get that!!!!! he's kind of a slut ok............

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

rain <33

HE IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING GHOUL im getting a tattoo of him eventually i have the perfect thigh piece......... ANYWAYS he's the bassist / water ghoul n he's actually the reason i wanna learn how to play the bass..........

in comparison to the other guitsr ghouls, he's a lot more laid-back. but he is not shy........ he may seem it but he fucking flourishes in the spotlight. im begging you to open a new tab, go to youtube, and watch his opening solo for con clavi con dio. anyways :3 just look at him......... my sweet sweet demon........... i love him so much

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

mountain xD

AHHHHHHH he's the drummer / earth ghoul.........

since he's all the way in the back with his drums, he doesn't interact with the crowd too much. he's pretty shy and he NEVER wears shoes when he drums. at least not that i've seen xD he also gives his drumsticks away at the end of every ritual......... personally i headcanon him to be like, the most tranquil ghoul (until he drinks. then he's a menace.) i also feel like he does a lot of nice things for the ghouls but they don't usually notice since he keeps to himself more often than not. also it's very fitting that his name is mountain because he's FUCKING TALL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

swiss.......

he's a multi-ghoul (hence the name SWISS); he does backup vocals n plays guitar n a couple percusive instruments

if u thought dew was a menace.......... u have NOT met swiss. he's well known for being fucking feral. im talkin dry humping the stage and his guitar. he also does this thing where he violently shimmies his shoulders at papa. he's one of the most social ghouls and he takes every opportunity that he can to come onto stage and interact with the other ghouls AND the crowd. he's a little nuts but in the best fucking way possible..............

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ok now we're moving into ghoulette territory........ starting with my favorite, MAMA CIRRUS ♡___♡

she's one of the two air ghoulettes n she's the lead keyboardist!! she also does the keytar solo in mummy dust and occasionally does backing vocals/percussion

oh my god my cape-wearing wife someone restrain me before i start saying inappropriate things... she's super duper affectionate and jumpy like she has such a cute personality?? she literally SKIPS BACK TO HER SPOT after her solo..... she's so fucking sassy too......... she's so sweet and so beautiful I LOVE HER SO MUCH I CAN'T

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

cumulus MY BELOVEDDDDDD

she's the other air ghoulette n plays keyboard as well as doing backing vocals :33 pls listen to the live version of per aspera ad inferi that's on spotify it is so good.........

she's very affectionate towards the crowd and often waves and blows kisses towards them. she's also CRIMINALLY underrated. why do people not talk about her!!!!!!! she's so fucking precious and she has a beautiful voice WHERE ARE MY CUMMYLUST FANS AT

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

aurora!!!

she is so gf it hurts......... also the current multi-ghoulette yippee!!!!!! she plays tambourine, does backing vocals, and she hangs out with swiss...... a lot..........

ok yeah maybe her and swiss have something going on 🙄 (waiting for them to drop the movie i need to see them making out on stage). she's very giddy and she's full of energy all the time. she's also super social n bubbly (N TWIRLY) and often interacts with phantom and the other ghoulettes as well as swiss. she's also like, the shortest in the whole band, she's like 4'11 IT'S SO CUTE THOUGH. she's also the current fill-in for sunny but im crossing my fingers that we'll have 4 ghoulettes instead of just my 3 weed-smoking girlfriends (/ref)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

oki now onto the portion of the post where i rant about the former ghouls from early era 5 </3

aether

he's the former quintessence ghoul / rhythm guitarist and GOD they did him so wrong i miss my banana man 😞

he's most well known for throwing pics at dew :3 he also REALLY liked bananas. he was physically the most beefiest ghoul which is how most people could tell him apart. like look at those arms........ AND HE KEPT HIS FUCKING SLEEVES ROLLED UP he knew what he was doing. im so sad he's not in the band anymore I MISS HIM SO BAD

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and finally, sunny :')

look at her........ she's the former multi-ghoulette n she played tambourine and did som backing vocals

she's also criminally underrated i feel like no one talks about her....... she's so fucking quirky like she's just so fun and silly and i love watching her onstage. i believe she's coming back actually!!! from my knowledge, she only left temporarily because she's on broadway but she hopefully should be coming back (i hope)

#asksies :33 #timi!!! #gave me a chance to rant about my fav band ever........... #ghost #the band ghost #ghost bc #dewdrop ghoul #sodo ghoul #fire ghoul #phantom ghoul #quintessence ghoul #rain ghoul #water ghoul #mountain ghoul #earth ghoul #swiss ghoul #multi ghoul #cirrus ghoulette #cumulus ghoulette #air ghoulette #aurora ghoulette #sunshine ghoulette #multi ghoulette #nameless ghouls #nameless ghoulettes

[poguesarerogues]

We lnow that rafe is a pyscho and i love the way you write him like he is. In your chase series he has a gun and points it at the girl running away from him. But what if the girl was his girlfriend and it was consensual. Do you think that rafe would enjoy pointing the gun at someone like for example his girlfriend? Do you think he'd point a gun at them even if he isn't angry or trying to catch them or scare them? What if his girlfriend like guns like she has a gun kink?

🔞Warnings: (nsfw) mentions of Smut🔞Please don’t read if you are a minor

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pointing a gun at someone isn’t something that is anything new to Rafe, but he certainly never imagined that the person he’d be aiming at would enjoy having it pointed at them. What kind of sick fuck gets off on having a loaded weapon pointed at them while they’re being fucked? What’s even crazier is that you had asked him to stick the barrel of the gun in your mouth and watch as you suck on it like it was his own cock in your mouth rather than a metal object that could blow your brains out. How did he end up with someone who he would consider even worse off than him mentally? Sure, you haven’t murdered anyone like he has but surely having a gun kink would put you up there in the top ranks on anyone’s ‘looney toon’ list.

Choking, bondage, degradation, wax, whips, overstimulation, spanking, spitting, pissing… Rafe doesn’t mind those kinks but a fucking gun kink? Hell, he’d be up for having a threesome or even a god damn gang bang more than this, and if there’s anything that anyone knows about Rafe Cameron it’s that he HATES sharing what’s his.

Now, of course Rafe has obliged your requests to fulfill your sexual fantasies, at least up to this point he has, but he knows damn well that he’ll draw the line at shoving the gun inside you if you ask. No matter how much you may end up begging him, Rafe WILL NOT fuck you with his gun. Only his cock is allowed to be in you like that. He could just imagine the worst-case scenario becoming reality and he’d have no idea, nor no desire to be cleaning up your blasted open remains if his gun where to go off inside you.

How is his dick still hard when he’s thinking of these things while he continues to drag the weapon across your body while he thrusts into you at a controlled pace so that he doesn’t lose his focus? Surely, it’s got to be the fact that he’s the one fucking you and not his gun because he certainly isn’t enjoying the role that his inanimate companion is playing in making you feel like you’re on cloud nine.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, anyway, I give a lot of kudos to authors that can write Rafe as anything BUT a pyschotic maniac. That's TRUE talent! but thanks :)

Considering that Rafe has shown signs that he doesn't want to be the way that he is, that he has claimed that he becomes that way to make his father proud of him or to help his father, etc. Think back to the episode where they all think that Ward is dead and he apologizes to Sarah for what he did and telling her that he'll work on getting better. I don't necessarily think that he'd enjoy being around someone who'd want to be involved in kinks that could possibly trigger his manic murderer side of him since he knows just how easy it is from him to lose control of his sanity. I mean, think about the episode where he's trying to tell Ward that he isn't ok and he begins to panic before Ward tells him to 'man up' :( Poor boy! Do you think that he'd enjoy doing things to someone that he may have feelings for that would make him think that no one cares about his mental health because it triggers him so much?

I, personally, don't think he would.

NOW, if he went full on bastard mode and was already in the dark mindset than that is an entirely different situation. Insane Rafe doesn't think or do things the same way that sane Rafe does.

#ghost replies #asks #rafe smut #rafe obx #rafe cameron #rafe #rafe x you #rafe x reader #outer banks smut #rafe imagine #rafe cameron smut #rafe outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #obx smut #rafe fanfiction

[airedelalmena]

I went to the bar to see some local music and the local gay gender weirdos + their friends invited me over to their table.

they were obvs a little tumblrheaded but thats okay.

i went to a bonfire at the house of the one.

their intro was made by the one saying that he/theys friend “thinks im cute”. i hung out anyway, did not get scary vibes. at all. and lmfao im not interested in this friend at all. but. there were no overtures made the whole night. lets keep it that way.

(its so awkward and concerning when its another genderfucker bc if i say “sorry i dont swing that way” and the individual has bad boundaries, they can try to pull some kinda insane shit like “well actually i can be a man or a woman for you or whatever. so you actually DO swing that way because i am that gender too and you are misgendering me if you disagree ergo fuck me” where they pretend appearances and the physical arent real and sexuality isnt related to it and everyone is zero apprarance preferences having bi/pan. I was preparing myself for it to happen and to bounce if things got weird but it didnt.)

all that said. the other friend they have who hosted this tiny thing has a family with money and DID NOT BRING OUT ONE SNACK FOR ANYONE ALL NIGHT until the very last moment. one muffin. insanity. what kind of host/ess are you. wtfffffff lol basic manners i know you lnow better than that.

that same person was nice enough to get me an uber home despite it being apparently in the same general/next town lol. like i walk during the day while sober. no chance of that tonight and no buses this late. oof.

had a good time.

definitely hoping on making the move temporary so i can get back closer to lgbt ppl in/near the city asap.

but it did reassure me that i “can make friends wherever i go.” :) her words. something she ALWAYS told me i could and would be good at, despite my life’s setbacks. that “people are going to love you, so much, trust me.” feelings.

(she was so good at making friends wherever she went. even in the deepest parts of her ptsd. even in our car times. people loved her. but the world was and could be cruel, too. and she carried so much hurt from that. an understatement.)

i feel so much in so many things. every day is about her, as much as and more than before. loss and healing, healing and loss, all at once.

I should be able to come home to her and give her these updates. In detail and getting deep into all the personality details together…discussing and understanding the world together. Getting help and guidance. I can’t. instead, I post them here.

#personal #positivity #grief #mm tag #feelings

[transsexual-terabyte]

🖊 + PLEAAASDE LET ME LNOW ABOUT XAVIER 🫶🫶 ANS MAYBE ALSO THE OLD MAN WHO TAKES HIM IN

YAYYYY HII HIIIIII soooo xavier twirls hair um

so. xavier my buddy xavier......... even b4 he was banished 2 earth he was always really fascinated by the concept of humanity (though all he really knew about them was that they existed, they were mortal, and they were strictly prohibited from learning about) (rule in place because angels are considered holy to humans and so learning about something that considers you divine is considered 'dangerous') (but higher up and more powerful angels can contact and even pass through into earth via mirror shards in certain special cases) (xavier absolutely does not fit into this catergory) and in the end the drive to learn more about humanity is what drove him to seek out the mirror shards and be banished for it (initially he managed to steal four shards but he only managed to successfully conceal and hold on to one of them after being caught and falling) .

and because only a specific few higher up and holy angels were ever allowed to go near the mirror shards at all, no one had any idea that lesser angels could use shards to open communications between dimensions, which is how shard comes into the picture (shard managed to pull off stealing mirror shards years in the past but never got caught) (they're afraid of humans so they dont really know why they did it) (shard is not their actual name but it's what xavier calls them), coz suddenly the mirror shards they stole are displaying an image unprompted and its of xavier being banished and subsequently falling to earth and well he's not in great shape (angels arent able to feel pain, but they have to abide to the life rules of wherever they inhabit. mortality, pain, illness, etc, are all rules of earth that angels do not typically experience)

and anyway shard wakes him up and he freaks out for a bit because um. he just got banished from his fucking home !??? to an entirely different dimension ??? with no way of getting back ??!? but shard's reading the news of what just happened to xavier and it brings up that he was always too interested in humanity so they have a !!!! moment and bring up the fact that... well. you like humans right ? you always wanted to learn about them ? i know this is... horrible, but.. maybe you can learn about humans there ? since earth is. where theyre from. and well xavier doesnt really have anything else going for him so he grounds himself to the idea of. well if im trapped here i can learn all about humans and since i have a connection back home... maybe we can spread news about humanity ??? teach people ??? and shard absolutely does not want to do that but agrees that since they have a connection and its the Only One like this, xavier can teach them all about humans. (even if theyre slightly very terrified). and so tjats how they get started.

um but the whole there only being one exit and no entrance back home really Does mean theres One Exit so all angels fall in relatively the same area (which happens to be a graveyard) so one of the locals to the area takes it upon himself to help any freshly fallen angels back on their feet again and accustomed to the new environment. and while xaviers standing there trying to come to terms w everything they notice him and approach him and offer to help heal up that broken arm of his and grab him a warm meal and a place to sleep. and xavier agrees, so he comes to live with this old man and his dog for a while, learn all about humans firsthand, make a friend, learn how to live here. (shard is not a fan of this. theyre mildly terrified about the entire prospect but well. its xavier's banishment, it's his choice if he wants to live with some strange human and his dog). . jts technically dangerous for humans to have prolonged exposure to angels for a number of reasons but the old man has been doing this for decades now, and angels arent unheard of on earth anymore, so there are lots of things to keep them both safe.

most importantly in regards to the old man though is that he loves fishing and takes xavier along with him and xavier quickly developed a love for fish. hes fascinated by them. loves watching them swim. loves studying them. and eventually when xavier decides ro explore further and further out into the world, he gives him a fishing rod and some bait so that he can go out and do what he loves (and hes always welcome back to the house if he ever wants to)

ummmm...m thinking thinking but i thuink thats a lot alreadg. scrolling up. oops.

#asks #hii hii pig ^-^ #ermm for any1 who doesnt knoe abt my ocs btw... go look at my artblog i post them all the time on there

[yourleftknuckle]

NINJAGO S15 TRAILER VAME OUT??!?

I LNOW i literally dont talk about Ninjago at ALL on here other than rebloging posts but I PROMISE it still has a really really special place in my big big heart❤️❤️ (I’m also like,,really fixated on lmk right now😓)

Anywho!! Here’s the link if you wanna watch it yourself: https://youtu.be/L78500_i8f8

I honestly have no idea where the hell the show is going 💀💀 but what I WILL say is that my hopes are pretty high! And that I know I’ll enjoy whatever’s coming next,

But other than that I also wonder what’s gonna happen to harumi?? Like she isn’t in the trailer,, and I’ve seen soemone say something about a possible synopsis for the new season, with it being something about the ninja (please bear with me if I sound like a fucking idiot) basically fucking SOMETHING up and them doing some wild wacky time travel junk and like,,, in the process somethings going on with their memory too???!!!!

(Please don’t quote me on that PLEASE!! If someone can like,,explain if I’m wrong PELAEE DO SO😭😭)

There’s also these tweets!

Me personally I think that the middle one is the lie in the first image! As often as snakes are the antagonist based off what we’ve seen that might not be true?? And the half-man half-frog thing is aliiittle too specific Yaknow?!

For the second pic I honestly can’t decide,, because the little boy who we see helping Lloyd

(people say his name is arin! Based off this thingy from leaked sets!!)

He miigghtt be a new ninja?? I’m kinda going off the color of the gi and arins clothes matching, but the cloud kingdom thing is aliiittle fishy, yaknow?

The second one is probably the most believable for me considering the shit that’s going on in the trailer, and the DEPARTED RELM???!!? I’m so exited for that honestly you have no idea!!!!!! Buuuttt once again going off of the trailer I’m not sure the antagonist is gonna creature related, I mean hopefully! But I’m not a good guesser

Anywho that’s it!! Thanks for reading,,,,😘😘‼️

#Youtube #rambles #ninjago #ninjago lloyd #ninjago s16 #IM EXITED #feeling quirky #ILL MAKE A HARUMI POST LATERRR #leaked sets #lego ninjago #ninjago arin #I HAVE HIGH HOPES

[just-an-enby-lemon]

There is soo much information in this paragraph. I swear. I'm not one to do scene analysis and I'm not really doing it (If I did it would be over one of Pamela's scenes), but I will speculate some. There will be spoilers. So if you didn't see unburied and mind spoilers go whatch, no need to come back here just go see it. If you don't mind spoilers and didn't see unburied: read it and I hope it convinces you to GO WHATCH"

"You're working with this psycho who used to dress up like a fucking cereal-mascot and hurt people."

-> First and that is the light fun one, Ed's costume was totally the classic green suit. I mean a full body colant would not fit this universe at all, but being a non-visual media it was possible. But the cereal-mascot coment is cleary a reference to Lucky Charms but without mentioning the name probably for brand reasons. So green suit it is.

-> Second Flass do not mentions the stab. Everytime before this scene when someone is trying to warn Barbara against working with Edward they mention how he stabbed Jim since it was a huge deal that affected her personally. But Flass doesn't. Possibly a because he doesn't want Barbara to think about the stab at all so she won't make a connection.

-> Thirdly "hurt people". Unburied Ed doesn't kill. I may be wrong, no one lnows what crimes he did after all, but I truly belive he did never kill anyone as the Riddler and this scene is a huge part of it. This little speech about how Ed was a bad person has tree fuctions:

1. Anger the other cops so they will follow him without a question (easly done of course cause it is in their proggraming)

2. Make Barbara feel guilty for working with Edward and therefor see Flass reaction as understandable and not question it

3. Discret Nygma in case he tries for a desperate confession.

All of this effects would be easier to get if he said "to kill people" but if Edward never killed anyone that would be an easly missproven fact that would weaken the power of his speech. So he had to go with "hurt". Wich is true and also vague as hell (so if the cops don't know the details they can picture it as worse and it's not like someone can say "he didn't hurt people").

"I helped put this bastard away- You not undoing that. You NOT UNDOIG WHAT I DID"

4. Putting the pieces together this is a clever foreshadowing. Until this point all we knew was that Edward had stabbed Gordon and Gordon had put Edward in Arkham or was the reason he was there. But here we get the confirmation that Flass was also there. If he helped arrest Edward and during this arrest the stab happened he has to at least know about it, that plus his refusal to mention the stab is a pretty sus behavior (I really love the stab revel foreshadowings, including the hilarious Ed not knowing where the knife hitted one).

5. So we all know that "you're not undoing what I did" means uncovering the truth behind the stab. But the sequency and the "you're not doing that" sugests that he is also refering to proven Edward's innocence. Now of course he did other crimes and this would only reduce his time in Arkham, but still, when we put it all in conjunct it seems to pass a very interesting and creepy in the realistic cop way mensage of "I'm a cop, I'm a good guy, I did what had to be done and I don't deserve to be punished for it. He is a criminal, he is mentaly ill, he deserves the punishiment no matter what, it's okay if it's unfair or if we add more unecessary punishiment cause he is a bad person." (the fact Ed isn't white in this version totaly adds to the statement because cops and racism hold hands frequently).

6. He just straigth up admits he abuses his power. "All these time I was looking for an excuse" is basically "you were protected from the cops by being a cop but I finally was able to find a reason to destroy this imunity and attack you as well". And it's fascinating that even tho he is doing it all to hide the truth he still admits it. It's awfull. It means that he is soo confident in his security as a cop as long as he is abusing the "right type of people" that he feels free to admit it freely. Painfully realistic much? I mean in my state here in Brazil, no, in my city, in the bridge I pass trough everyday to go to school, three months ago the cops killed a working class man who had schizofrenia because he was having an episode, he was unarmed but refused to enter the police car, they put him in the back with a gas bomb. He died suffocated. He wasn't armed and did not show any violent behavior (not that it would justify their actions if he did). Someone recorded it, it was in the news for a while, but the names of the perpetrators weren't divulgued and while the force said the would take measures to deal with them nothing was done. This is not an isolated case either, we have lots of them, not to mention the ones who not got to the news. So yeah, I'm ending it with the very realistic coment over how the system permits that cops do whatever they want as long as they reinforce the status quo. Stay safe, stay hydratated, stay fighting and do NOT trust the police.

#acab #anti police #police brutality #media analysis #there is a real account of police brutality in the end #be warned #batman unburied #arnold flass #barbara gordon #edward nygma #one of my favorite underrated villan speeches #ablesim discussions #because cops kill and prey on the mentally ill and neurodivergent people as easy targets for their violence #mentions of racism #again because cops unfairly target and abuse POC

[geronimomo-spd]

OK SO SCHERZO

OK ITS ALL SPOILERS SO ITS ALL UNDER THE CUT TODAY

i really adored!!! the first scene!! them just lying down underneath the console while he is telling her of all of the things he is afraid of, and she talks to him while they almost die!! peacefull!! so nice!!!

UM???? UM??

I CAN'T BECAUSE WHEN YOU ALL SAID HORROR I ASSUMED PHYSICAL HORROR OR PHSYCOLOGICAL I DIDN'T KNOW THEY ARE GOING TO FUCKING EAT COSPSES LIKE WHAT EXUSE ME?????? HELLO??????

IM???????? GOODBY TO MY AROMANTIC DOCTOR HEADCANON I GUESS??  to be honest i will say it took me out a little because its a headcanon i really hold into, but at the same time the story works so much!!!! because, as i said before, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME HE HAS FALLEN IN LOVE WITH A COMPANION AND THE STORY AGNILIGES THAT!!! AND HE DOESN'T LNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!!!! AND AND AND AND HE IS JUST, OF COURSE I LOVE YOU!!! I KILLD MYSELF FOR YOU DIDN'T I??? OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH DFGDGFSDF

NO BUT WHEN HE WAS SO MEAN TO HER!! SO ANGEYR!! AND I WAS WAITING FOR HIM TO BE LIKE "OH ITS THE ANTI TIME, ITS STILL THE ANTI TIME I AM SORRY-" BUT IT WASN'T!! THIS WHOLE EPISODE WAS JUST THE DOC BEING ACTUALLY ANGRY!!!! YES YES YES THANK YOU!!!!

lol but flashback when i was like damm i really need an episode where Charley and the doc are not separated and you all all said SCHERZO I GENUALLY DIDN'T THINK ITS ABOUT THE FUCKING FACT THAT THEY WILL BE PHYSICALLY THE SAME FUCKING PERSON AND THEIR HANDS FUSED OMG ONG OMG

ALSO I SEE YOU ALL WITH THIS EMOJI FUCK FUCK FUKC UFKC UFKF JFHFJFJCFKFJCJF :handshake:

JESUS

i do gotta say that i got to relisten to it because the first time i got a genuine autistic shutdown because of the first very load noise JESUS CHRIST, and then i was suck in my bed recovering so it took me a while to get into it, and i couldn't find the time stamps for the jumpscares so i was just really carful, and i think it might be a reason for the fact that it was good, just not mind blowing, i completely understand why people are calling it the best doctor who story ever, it really drives home the meaning of the show itself but espeshelly Charley and the Doc, which is why im saying that i think that i need to relisten to it, now that i know that the doc is not affected by any outside sources for his anger of Charley!!

ALSO HOW CAN I NOT TALK ABOUT THE ENDING HOLY SHIT, SHE DID IT!!!! SHE FUCKING DID IT!!! SHE FINALLY MIRRIORED THE ENDING OF CHIMES!!! SHE PROVED THE DOC HE SHOULD LIVE!! YES FUCK THAT SUICIDAL DOCTOR IN THE HEAD SHE JUST DID IT SHE JUST DID IT!!

NO BUT AFTER ALL OF THE I LOVE YOUS, AFTER THE KISS TO BECOME ONE ORGANIZEM, THEY HAD THIS WEIRD VISION WHERE THE CREATURE WAS TRYING TO MAKE THE DOC AND CHARELY KILL THEMSELVES BECASE- WAIT OMG BECAUSE THEY TALKED ABOUT THE FACT THEY DIED FOR ONE ANOTHER WOWS WOW WOW OK. SO AFTER THE FUCKING KISS WE WENT TO A VISION WHERE THEY MADE PAUL MCGANN CALL CHARLEY MAMA IT WAS SUCH A WIP LASH LOLOLOL I WAS LOSING IT, IT WAS SO FUNNY

IT WAS SO HARD GETTING FAVE QUOTES FROM THIS BECAUSE I STARTED JUST QOUTING ALL OF THE FUCKING LINE SO I WLL TRY TO MAKE THIS NOT JUST EVERY WORD THEY WERE SAYING OK OK COOL

ALSO YES OK AS FAR AS CHARLEY AND THE DOC TOGETHER FOR THE WHOLE EPISODE EPISODES GOES THIS ONE WAS THE BEST ONE OMG OMG OMGGGGG YES YES FINALLY I NEVER EXPECTED ANY OF THIS!!! THE KISS!! THE METAPHORE OF THEM LITTIRALY BECOMING THE SAME CREATURE LIKE WTFFFFFFFFF OMG!!!!

i probably need to understand that metaphore better, and ||IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO GETWITH THE PROGRAM OF EATING CORPSES LIKE JESUS CHTIST LOLOLOL

LOLOL IM LOOKING THROUGH MY NOTES AND ITS JUST, MOST OF IT IS JUST ME FREAKING THE FUCK OUT OF THEM EATING CORPSES LOL also i will say that my aromantic headcanon for the doctor finally took his final hit with this which made me pause, which is i think is a good thing, its diffrent for how i see the doc usually but it makes sense within the nerative they are setting and after a whle it did hit me emotinally, just not torn me apart, when i see people raving about this episode i somehow got the impression its because of the romantic and emotinal stuff, so i assumed i had to connect with it emotinally on that level for the emotinal bits to hit me, that i needed to cheer for them to be together after all of this, but its really not that true, its just a sad situation in general, the horror is gripping and i do like actual emotinal comunication in doctor who, even if it had to be foreced out of the basturd.

the talk is the thing that breaks me!! the fact that the doctor is as suprised of his own emotions and puts prioraty!! it is fuking annoying that Charley is not getting the calling out the doc's motive she had in Ebrace the Darkness, where she littiraly said "you think secrefing yourself is the nobel act?? you think leaving me to people i don't know in a centery i know nothing about just so you can play hero?? you wouldn't be happy until they kill you for it, and that is so selfish of you!! like, she got to do that!!!! why not now!!!! she is just too blinded by the fact that she loves him now, both of them trying to hold into each other in a world hat just wants them to be gone, and its getting pretty unhealthy for both of them not gonna lie

the ending littiraly mirrored Chimes, and i assumed that Chimes's endind of the doctor reminding Charley to choose life was a good thing, but now its like, i assumed it made the ending of Scherzo "good", but now i am not so sure, it is lovely to see that she did for the doctor what he did for her, but argggg i don't know

calling the other companions "momento mory " though i do really like how they pulled the edning and the creature is like "you would secrefice yourself not just for Charley, you would secrefice yoursef for most of your friends", so the ending was soft of one of his friends finally being like NO, BECAUSE I WILL DO THE SAME TO YOU, SO FUCK OFF WITH THAT

anyway apart from the love shit, this one was frightening, corpse eating and a dash of Paul Mcgann calling Charley mama, and a complicated emotinal core! people say its the best, and get why do say that, broke my heart, made me happy and concerened, a really good case for the dark shit big finish can do, i think i really like it, but im not sure :)

OK AFTER A FEW DAYS

This story is fucking cool, you really understand what he is going through, and its not pretty, as the story is not pretty my emotional hurting wasn't because of my headcanon, it was because I was witnessing an earthkwake, of the fundamentals of this show

We have never seen the doctor act like this, we have never seen him, absolotly, say he's in love, but WE NEVER SAW HIM REJECTING LIKE THAT, WE NEVER SAW HIM GETTING TO DISECT AND INTERJECT THE LOVE HE FEELS OR FELT

We get a lot of the doctor secrefying and putting asaide his feelings, but we never get the doctor letting GO, letting his emotions be fully expressed!! That is as terrifying and cool as you can get in doccy who

its an earthquake, and we are Charley, flowing and buzzing around, not knowing what will happen next because our intire foundation has been lifted from beneath out feet. They physicaly can't get rid of each other, and so THEY BECOME THE SAME CREATURE, hurting each other and almost destroying each other in the prosses, like what??? Everything is breaking apart and smshing around, and the sound creature is just there, and we loving to his tune. Its awesome just for that and after all that these two have been throhyg its fascinating still

ALSO ALSO OMG THAT FAIRYTAIL IS SO BRILLIANT OMGF OMG OMG, I loved it, wow

ok fave quotes lets goo DOCTOR: But Charley, you have lost a lot. You have lost everything. Your family, your friends. Charley, you will never see another of your kind. Never. You will never fall in love with a man, get married, have children. Hang on to your losses. They make you what you are. Even if we spend the rest of our lives here, and I'm rather afraid we will, don't let them take away that regret and that pain. All that identity. Don't settle for this existence when once you've tasted life, because you are Charley Pollard, and you deserve better than that. MY HEART I LOVE THAT, YES DOCTOR WE ARE ALSO DEFINED BY OUR LOSES AND ITS LOVELY TO HEAR THAT, I love every time this doctor gets to explain how emotions are so important to us

CHARLEY: Listen. A little while ago, you made me realise I mustn't accept my fate too readily. Stop my brain from finding the easiest and most painless way to cope with all this.

DOCTOR: Is this relevant?

CHARLEY: And now your brain is doing the same thing.

DOCTOR: What are you talking about?

CHARLEY: You need there to be a mission. You need there to be an enemy to face, mysteries to solve.

DOCTOR: And I have solved it, Charley. I'm sure of it.

CHARLEY: So what if you have? We have been walking this corridor for weeks now. It could be months, even. We simply can't tell. And have we found any way out in all that time?

DOCTOR: There has to be one.

CHARLEY: How do you know this entire new universe isn't just an over-lit glass tube which goes on and on for ever? Doctor, we are no closer to getting out of here than we ever were, and it does us no good to pretend otherwise.

DOCTOR: (big sigh) You're right.

CHARLEY: You're calmer?

DOCTOR: Yes.

I don't have anything to add to this I love it

So you love me.

CHARLEY: Yes. Yes, I do.

DOCTOR: And is that it?

CHARLEY: Isn't that enough? If you knew how hard it was for me to say that

DOCTOR: Not half as hard as it was to listen to. Tell me, Charley. What good do you think your love will do me?

CHARLEY: I don't know.

DOCTOR: Do you think it makes this situation any better? Do you think it makes me feel any better?

CHARLEY: I hoped. I don't know.

DOCTOR: I don't want your love, Charley. I have no use for it.

FUCK??? ABSOLOTLY FUCK??? OUCH OUCH OUCH????? WOW, WTFFFF

And of course the famus:

DOCTOR: Of course I loved you! I killed myself for you, didn't I? Of course I loved you. Of course I love you.

CHARLEY: Doctor.

DOCTOR: Quiet. Just listen. But you're not safe, are you. You followed me in, so what was the point of my sacrifice? What was the point after all these years of memento mori to find myself finally loving a friend, someone who meant that much more to me? What was the point of that journey if I died for nothing? I killed myself for you so you could live. And yet here you are.

CHARLEY: I'm sorry, I didn't realise.

DOCTOR: You betrayed me. You betrayed all that I gave up for you. And I can't forgive you that. Not yet. I. Well, I'm not sure I can ever forgive you that.

fuck i finally reached that and i don't know what to feel anymore, it doesn't feel like love anymore, it feels... hollow

genuinely don't know, i thought i was on board for this, he loves her

but it doesn't help any of them!!!!!

wow

but he loves her, he genuinely loves yer, no yes or no about it and... it hurts

and it doesn't really matter in the end doesn't it, like fuck

DOCTOR: And now, Mama, dearest Mama, who gave me life, who gave me everything, I think it's time that you left.

CHARLEY: Oh, so soon?

DOCTOR: I think so. Look at yourself. You're an old woman now, getting older and older by the second. But you needn't be afraid. You will live on through me.

CHARLEY: Well, that's all right, then.

DOCTOR: The parent lives on through the child. Years of evolution. Children becoming parents giving birth to children. Each time the child becoming stronger, more perfect. Your job is done. You can rest now.

CHARLEY: I've been out-evolved.

DOCTOR: Exactly. And much as I love you, Mama, that makes you something of an embarrassment.

CHARLEY: It's time I died, then.

THIS FUCKIMG AUDIOS THIS FUCKIMG SHOW I CAN'T THIS IS FUNNY AS FUCK

CHARLEY: A daughter. I've had a daughter after all, and I'm so proud.

DOCTOR: I'm the best daughter who ever lived

PLEASE SO GENDER OF YOU SO GENDER LOLOLOLOLOL

i would call it more Suicidal I LOVE THAT THIS STORY IS FINALLY AGNILOGING THE DOCTOR'S SUICIDAL TENDENCIS YES YES YES

YESSS YES SHE DID THE SAME FOR HIM LIKE HE DID HER Y4S!!!!!! FUCK YEAH YES YES YES YES URS YEX

#doctor who #dw #tw suicide mention #8th doctor #eight doctor #eighth doctor #paul mcgann #charley pollard #india fisher #WOW DAMM #this one took some analaysing but im happy i took the time with this one #8th doctor big finish stuff #8th doctor listenalong #scherzo #good shit good shit

[jinx-blackout-84]

For the ask game, 🛒, ⛔, 🙋‍♀️, 💖, 🦅, and 🤩?

🛒- one thing that i have put in both fics is alternate universes and a Narrative of some sort. I picture all of my fucs as alternate versions of cannon, where the Narrative is controlling things. It's a greater force that is trying to force the characters to mirror the events of the cannon universe and follow similar arcs. I think its a pretty cool concept. I also do chhose your own adventure endings/ alternate endings, because i love writing hearnreakung endings but hate reading them, so I want my readers to have something nice to read.

⛔️- I have scrapped about eight fics, one of which is about 50,000 words. I didnt end up liking them or lost interest in the media and just never finished them. I probably have 80,000 words of my hero academia fanfic that i never posted, and i have 5 dsmp fics that i havent posted. One is a platnoic rainduo ballet AU with some crimeboys and TNTduo that is about 15,000 words, one is a high-fantasy crimeboys AU that has about 17,000, one is a benchtrio vigilante AU that has like 22,000 words, one has sbi benchtrio rainduo (platonic) and some tntduo and it's a band/rockstar AU with about 41,000 words and one is a benchtrio movie star AU with like 12,000

I also never planned on posting a crown so heavy on the head of a child but my beta reader said she would air fry ny eyeballs if I didnt so here we are

🙋‍♀️- i have one friend who lnows i write fanfic (my beta reader) but shes not in the fandom. I love her so much and she is so fucking awesome and so great and wonderful.

💖- i have pretty much always loved writing, and have been making short stories since i was four or five. I have been writing songs since i was seven, and poems for about three years now. I have always loved it. I started writing fanfiction when I entered the my hero academia fandom, but never posted any of it because i tend to be very anxious. I started writing the fics I am working on right now because i wanted to examine the character arc of each character and how they affected them, and how the characters would have behaved without all fo the trauma. I really was so starstruck about the individuality of each bbhsmp character that i just started writing and didn’t stop. The only reason they ever got posted is because of encouragement form my mutuals and the irl friend i takked to about it.

🦅- okay, so its 50/50. I ahve a few character arcs that i knoe i'm going to put in the fic, (the quackity gets trauma arc, a few death arcs, wilbur gets trauma arc, tommy gets caught up in all of it arc, a few more death arcs, and some healing arcs) but for the kost part I just sit down on a friday or saturday afternoon and type out a few chapters that i feel like push the plot forwards. The Narrative was never supposed to exist, i sorta threw that in 30 minutes beofre posting the first chapter i mentioned it in. karl wasnt supposed to be in the fic, but i needed an opener for chapter 6, Wilbur wasn't supposed to know Tommy, the House wasn't supposed to be significant, all sorts of thing that i just sorta said "wait that would be cool as fuck" and then duct taped into the fic.

🤩- so i have about 16 chapters written in advance, and Wilbur is in the middle of a villain arc. It is so fun to write him slowly losing his grasp on reality, descending into madness. I also like writing Tubbo's POV, because he is a character i don't write from often.

Please excuse the poor grammar I don't have the energy to edit 😅

#and the void screams back #ask game response

[crazyalien87]

ok i hate the plot of avengers endgame bc it is shitty writing. so im gonna rant about it now. major spoilers ahead.

there are 2 big ass plot holes that make no fucking sense: 1, why they send nebula to where she was in the past? & 2, why tf didnt they fo and steal pym particles from pym BEFORE all the other time travel to get the stones?

the furst is the worst. why the fuck didnt these fucking idiots sit around and talk for more than like two minites when planning the time travel? oh my god. what the fuck. like im pretty dure nebula KNEW or at least suspected that she was there near to where starlord was. surely she would have at least suspected that sge might accidentally connect with her past self via wifi or whatever & then let thanos find out the whole time travel plan. wtf. it makes no sense that these several people including 2 geniuses who figured out the time travel, didnt think of that. i lnow they really wanna undo the snap already but damn. it's not like they have to hurry. they couldve thought ahout it for a week or at least a day. literally the only reason the movie was so godamn long with this fighting with thanos is because these fucking fools didnt plan well enough. they couldve just sent nebula somewhere. it's not like what her & cheadle did was that difficult. a 3 year old with a taser could do that. they just had to knock out starlord, get his lockpick, open the door, & grab the sphere. easy. although now. i just remembered that nebula hurt her hand getting it. but the guy has the iron man suit so im sure he could do the same. maybe even stark couldve made a special suit arm that is really strong to withstand it better. idk i actuallt forgot who this cheadle guy is bc it was been so long since. i saw fhe iron man movies. im talking like several years. but either way they did not need 2 ppl for that. they shouldve sent nebula somewhere else. or even had her stay behind & gaurd the avengers mansion. idk. although she wouldnt need to be there if thanos wasnt alerted of the plan anyway. honestly. i am less mad now. i have calmed down. but i fucking hate this plothole. it is so glaringly obvious & stupid. literally the only reason it fucking happened its because the writers. wanted the movie to be long & have big fighting climax. i guarantee that i mean there is no way the writers are just that stupid right? or that the characters are that stupid? if they can figure out time travel they can figure out that 2 versions of the same robot/cyborg (idk which one she is) can connect telepathically on accident. like radios or smartphones idc. i just fucking hate it. like it does not actually make the movie better to make it extremely long due to unneccasry war with thanos. we already saw them fucking fight thanos. like damn it aint that interesting we dont need another version of that. or at least i dont. i mean just so iron man could die? altho i recently heard that it is because robert downey jr quit. ok fine but yoh dont gotta kill hos character? he can just retire godamn. he is just a genius in a suit. anyone can wear the damn suit. he coulda passed on iron man title to his friend like captain america did or something idk. like he say to spiderman "if you nothing without the suit then why give you the suit?" something like that. also i dont like the idea of superman being basically a mini iron man & also like 15 instead of an actual man with just spider powers but that is another issue.

also the other plothole is annoying but not nearly as bad as they fixed it. but obviously tony stark & steve shoulda figured out sooner that they can just go in the past & get more pym particles. it is insanely stupid that they didnt think of that first. reallg it makes mo sense that they didnt. like i can see MAYBE why they didnt do it at first if they thought it was too risky? (but really it was so easy for them). but like they couldve at least planned it out first. idk it is just ridiculous. i mean i get the superheros wanted to rush this getting the stones & unsmapping but damn. they know so much is at stake so isnt that more reason to sit around & talk it out & plan first instead of rushing it? goddamn. ngl idk why the writers didnt have them steal the pym psrticles before the stone stealing. maybe the writers are just stupid. there doesnt seem to be an reason or benefit from the writers' standpoint. not just the writers i mean but like to irl ppl lile the company of marvel & stuff compared to what the characters are thinking. like either way there would still be the scene of them going to shield & doing that except maybe they wouldnt need to get the tessaract. but probably would anyway bc it is easier. really it would be a simple rearranging of the plot points. whereas the thing with nebula is obviously a big change to the plot so they can extend the movie & have more fighting & more exciting climax & whatnot. bc you know if the characters hadnt made that mistake then the movie would be much less exciting. like hulk undoing the snap (why didn't he hold hands with thor or whatever to share the power & get less hurt like in the end of (spoiler alert) guardians of the galaxy one?) would be the climax. then after that we still have the steve returning stones thing. then people reconcile etc. the end. the movie would be much shorter & less exciting but for me it would be much better. because the glaring plot hole with nebula is just so annoying bc it doesnt make sense that the characters would be like that. they legit added a whole thanos war plot that was totally unneccessary & easily avoidable. i fucking hate it.

[awkwardnerdylesbian]

So far Valentina was drinking and having a bit of fun until Mayela tried to be a bitch but it backfired on her which was the best. Juliana has to step out for Lupe and Lucia could talk and now she has confirmation that Leon is Jacobo. And Lucia called Juliana a really good friend to Valentina. Eva sent to kill Mateo, bust she regrets and called him to give him a heads up. Beltran/Chino and Leon/Jacobo are possibly dying like a previous transmigrada did who died the same way she did in her 1st life for straying off her path.

#amar a muerte lb #juliantina #so far no juliantina #who lnows where the fuck this is going #BUT ITS LIT

[kavitari]

sometimes it’s just. really goddamn hard to be in the six fandom

#like. rn i feel like im losong interest in six and so r a lot of the ppl who made it what it is for me when i first got into it (which was o #ver a year agp holy shit) and especially rn when theres not realy any official content and so damn much of the fan content is drama or disco #urse or just. stuff thats all removed from the origibal show and i cant bring myself to particarly care ant it ????? #and the god damn Racism #its so hard to be a poc in this fandom wjem thwres just so much racism and its not even always treated as wrong ???? #‘its my opinion’ ‘let everyone do what thhe want’ its fucking racist and it makes the fandom so hard to be in i just #and trying to engage in the fandom when sk much of it is toxic to be in or about stuff i just dont care about is already bad enough #but a lot of the time when i Do make my own content i get a shit tom of ahte flr it bc ppl bave nothkng better to do than tell a 14 yo to ki #ll herself over fuckkng fanfiction or icons or whatever else the think ive done weong #i dont rrally lnow where i was going with this i think i just needed to rant lmal #ari talks

[avungerthatgotaway]

"Sometimes the best we can do is to start over"

Hey guys! I'm back with new fanfic. It's about Steve Peggy and teen!reader again. Hope you like it xx

Warnings: none, it's sad tho idk if that's a warning

Pairings: mention of Steve x Peggy

Summary: Nick Fury gives you a task to listen to someone's private conversation while in school (with earbugs). Turns out it's something no one had a right to hear.

It's Civil war era, but I'll ignore the plot.

I don't own anything, but part of the plot of this fic lol

And as always, I'll give a song recommendation.

-☆-☆-☆-☆-☆-☆-☆-

"So Y/N basically want you have to do is listen to the conversation on earbugs, and remember what people talk about." Nick said to me. I was confused to why does it matter so much, he didn't even tell me who's conversation I'm listening to. I had to go to school, but he claimed it's important.

"But who am I gonna listen to and what is it about Nick?"

"Classified. As to what is it about, I expect you to find out."

I rolled my eyes at him, this was getting very stupid, really fast.

"How is it classified to me when I'm the one doing the mission?"

"Miss L/N, your friends are out, waiting for you." JARVIS announced, and I knew my conversation with Nick was over.

"Just remember what they talk about Y/N. Bye kid." he rushed out of the room, and I rolled my eyes at him. Again.

-

I was in school, waiting for people to start talking on my earbug. They were probably HYDRA agents or something. I heard a cough from time to time, or loud breathing, but that's it. I was so bored, our professor was old, she was talking in a very slow and monotone voice.

I was just starting to doze off, when I heard voices.

"Steve, you're back." said an old female voice. It was weak, but so full of happiness at the moment.

I was confused tho. Why in the world would Nick give me task to listen to an old granny talking?!

"Well I couldn't leave my best girl, you know."

"OU MY GOD" I yelled out of shock.

Everyone turned around to look at me, and teacher just raised an eyebrow.

"Uhm, nothing, nothing" I mumbled, covering my face with a notebook.

It was Steve's voice! No doubt! I didn't want to listen to it anymore, but I couldn't just pull out my earphones in the middle of the class. Maybe the professor was old, but man she had an eyes worthy of a hawk. (A/N: I know it's allowed in some schools, but let's say it's not in this one.)

I listened to their conversation, unwillingly, and it was so sad. I found out this granny's name was Peggy. (A/N she heard of Margaret Carter, but didn't know a story, and that she's Peggy.)

I was kinda curious to who was Peggy, but I didn't want to pry more than I am. I felt awful for doing this to Steve, even tho my subconcience kept telling me it's not my fault, I couldn't bring myself to believe it.

"Oh Steve, overdramatic as always." laughed Peggy. It was a genuine laugh, but you could see pain and tiredness hidden behing it. My heart ached for that poor granny. But I smiled through my sadness, because if her laugh. And because she was right.

"And somethimes the best thing we could do is to- to start o-v-ve-e-" Peggy's words were lost in a coughing fit, and silence followed. I was scared of the worst.

Suddenly, I heard the most unexpected thing, and I couldn't control my emotions anymore:

"Steve. You-you're back." said Peggy, while crying, like she sees him for the first time after ice.

Then it hit me. She really didn't remember.

"Well I couldn't leave my best girl. Not when she owes me a dance." Steve retorted.

My eyes started tearing up.

"Miss L/N! Why are you crying?" professor asked me. Oh no. I had a reputation of girl who never ever cried. The "tough guy" as you say. Only few people knew I don't actually have a heart made of stone.

"Oh, no I have allergies, excuse me." I said. I did have allergies, and teachers knew it. So I was supposed to drink a pill whenever you I them.

This time it was no exception, and teacher made you drink them.

Soon after it was the lunch break. I ran out of classrom, outside in front of school, and went to garden to my secret spot. My friend Jon, of course followed me and he lnew where it is. He came and hugged me, knowing it's not allergies.

"Shh it's gonna be okay sis." he said. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I can't." I said through tears. He knew what I meant tho. He comforted me, and later we met up with our other friends and chatted.

Day passed by, and I was on my way home, to avengers compound.

-

I stormed in Nick's office like a hurricane. I wanted answers.

"Why the fuck did you have me listen to that? And who is Peggy?"

"Y/N! What were they talking about?" he seemed unfazed by my outburst.

"I won't tell you a single thing I heard!"

"You have to."

"WHO IN THE WORLD IS PEGGY NICK?!?! WHY DID I LISTEN TO THEIR CONVERSATION?" I yelled.

Unknown to me, Steve came in that moment.

"What is going on?" he asked hearing me yell 'Peggy'.

Fury just gave me a pointed look and stormed out.

"Steve!" I yelled, and ran to him. I hugged him tughtly and silently cried to his shirt, hoping Fury wouldn't notice. I couldn't hold my tears back anymore. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I kept saying.

Steve held me in his arms, and moved us to living room couch. I was still hugging him and crying. I kept apologising to him.

2nd person POV

"Shh kid, calm down. Shh, baby it's all okay stop apologising." Steve kept repeating, hoping to stop your tears. He didn't know how to soothe you, but he tried. He ran his fingers through your hair gently, and rubbed your back with his other hand.

Slowly you stopped crying. His heartbeat lulled you to sleep, and you fell asleep, sitting next to Steve.

You eyelids slowly opened, and you see a blanket draped over you. You were still sitting next to Steve, while he was reading a book.

"Stevie?" you asked.

"Oh Petal, you're awake. Can you please tell me what happened earlier?" he asked eyes full of concern, his book forgotten.

You slowly tell him everything that happened. This time your cheeks were a little tear-stained, but you weren't full-on crying.

"YOU LISTENED TO WHAT?" Steve was shocked.

He looked really angry, you never seen him like this. He noticed you looked ashamed for listening to that, and his face softened.

"Oh, I'm not mad at you, Petal. Only at Nick. It's completely his fault." he said, and hugged you.

You looked up at him.

"Only at Nick?" you asked quietly.

"Yes kiddo. Only at Nick." he retorted.

You talked a bit more, Steve made sure you lnow it's not your fault. Then you just talked about random things, you were totally relaxed by this point.

You were happy that Steve wasn't mad at you. Sometime later he went out to 'have a word' with Fury. You wouldn't like to know what that will look like. :)

-☆-☆-☆-☆-☆-☆-☆-

@afictionaladventure16 @avengersarchive @rae-is-typing @elles-writing

#avengers endgame #fanfic #avengers x teen!reader #marvel #fypシ #avengersinfinitywar #steve rogers x teen!reader #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers angst #steve rogers #nick fury #captain america #captain america civil war #chris evans

[milkywayan]

austrian government fucking clowning again

make mass tests but make them voluntary? so all the shit idiots who think corona is not real anyway and go out meeting people all the time, and all the fuck karens who dont believe in vaccinations wont get tested, making the mass tests completely pointless? yea, test me, but im home 90%-100% of the time anyways, and meet 0 people

people who dont care about the restrictions are not going to get tested!! they dont fucking care!!! they are idiots!!! voluntary mass tests dont do shit!!!

we are in full lockdown by tomorrow because you thought you could count on the people to be responsible! see where that got us! number 1 of new infections per 1mio!

people are stupid, they dont care! see how it does not work to count on responsibility and voluntarily following guidelines! clown fest, just clowns all of them, fucking hell

edit: i lnow mass tests cant be mandatory, i was really mad when i wrote this post. still, the government acted too late, and still, a lot of people (not the majority but enough) dont give a shit and act carelessly

#personal #austria #austrian politics #corona #covid19 #lockdown #lockdown 2.0

[reanimationstation]

what r ur thoughts on 2004 phantom of the opera even though I don't know what that is

2004 phantom is the movie with . uh. i dont lnow names. it was on youtube for free last night!! legally!!!

ANYWAYS

OH BOY

:) my thoughts are somewhat incoherent and disorganized its gonna be long

spoilers ahead for POTO and LND

i love meg with all my heart and i would die for her in a heartbeat

shes so cute dhfjdjd i love her

this is the only adaptation so far that's made me enjoy Carlotta's character?

anyways im forming a meg and carlotta fan club

THE PUPPIES

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY ANIMALS

i stan the people in the elephant

im sorry but the black and white bits are HILARIOUS and i didnt pay attention to them at all

i reallt hated how all the men (minus Raoul. and Erik, to an extent) were fucking creepy towards the women

it was gross. why did they decide to put that in. its not funny

on a lighter note, the managers are definitely fucking

the opera is a lot. smaller? than imagined it?

christines dress in Think of Me is MUCH different than the stage version but still extremely pretty

LET ME TELL YOU WHEN I SAW RAMIN AS CHRISTINES DAD I LOST MY SHIT SHFJDJDJR

hes so pretty,, only man to play all three people christine loves (her dad, Raoul, and Erik)

(hes erik in the 25th anniversary and i love him)

i am absolutely enamoured with this raoul BUT his hair was iffy and i rated it throughout the movie. you will now be subject to that

Raouls hair at his first introduction: 8/10 i love how the bangs bit swoops down and goes behind his ear, he looks like a schoolgirl

Raouls hair during little lottie: 6/10, why did they brush it back, he looked so cute before. still somewhat messy tho

raouls hair during Notes/Prima Donna: 4/10 WHY did they brush it back so much. he looks like a fucking barbie

raouls hair during masquerade: 5/10 the ponytail is hilarious and doesnt fit him at all

raouls hair post masquerade: 7.5/10 some bits have come loose because hes running around and he looks silly. i love him

raouls hair during all i ask of you: 6/10 i dont remember when this song is chronological so im putting it here (im stupid, i should know, i performed this song). anyways he just ran up several flights of stairs it should be messier

raouls hair during the swordfight: 8/10? idk i was distracted. hh swordfight and pretty men make brain go brrrr

like who LET him out of the house in high waisted pants and a thin ass blouse

IN WINTER

but i gotta say, he looked nice as fuck

shit where was i

raouls hair during Don Juan: 7.5/10 it was ok. i was more distracted by his silly little expressions of confusion and disgust. his eyes were WATERING as he watched what was happening on stage. thats betrayal, babe.

raouls hair during final lair: 9/10 it was soaking wet. it lended to the situation.

ok done with that

masquerade couldve been BETTER

how COULD THEY LIMIT THE COSTUMES TO WHITE BLACK AND GOLD (with very muted colors throughout)

i UNDERSTAND its for the AESTHETIC BUT

HHHHHHH

THE STAGE PRODUCTION MASQUERADE IS BETTER THATS ALL IM SAYING

I WANT CHAOS. I WANT COLORS

funnily enough in the stage production, Raoul is basically the only one who keeps this black and gold color scheme, and ends up looking underdressed.

not any of our leads (including the girys) not wearing masks smh

i will say that despite wearing masks, a lot of the ensemble is attractive

i spotted a person who would literally make a perfect book-accurare raoul

mustache and all dbfbdndnd

where was i

oh, Eriks costume was such a downgradeeee

hmph

raoul being a fucking idiot by A) leaving Christine to get a sword, and B) jumping down in tbe pit after Erik

dumbass. i love you

him sleeping outside of christines door was adorable

him. is adorable

uhhhh

on to erik

his face. is that cgi??? it couldnt be practical, right?

anyways i hated it. but not in a "ugh that's disgusting way", more in a "stage versions can and have done this makeup better"

try harder

i barely noticed it when christine ripped off his mask the first time

they really needed to just. try harder with erik overall.

uhhh whats next

oh im gonna talk about the swordfight again

WHY WAS ERIK THE ONLY ONE PROPERLY DRESSED FOR WINTER

and not even on purpose, thats just how he dresses normally

yeah christine was wearing a cloak but aLL OF HER CHEST WAS EXPOSED. SHES A SINGER. COVER UP AND PROTECT YOUR THROAT/LUNGS, IDIOT

raouls arm really never got the proper medical care it needed. ill touch on this again in a sec

the way erik chased joseph buqet(?) had the energy of elementary school tag

the final lair

raoul just falling down into the water trap was the funniest shit

like. he takes a step and immediately DROPS

the water trap was fun!! poor design tho. why was the escape mechanism on the inside

erik is bad at tying people up. good thing instead of trying to escape, out local idior is singing

he liTERALLY couldve just leaned forward to let the first rope fall off this shoulders and worked to avoid the noose

idiot. babey.

his arm is bleeding again and honestly i cant believe it never got infected

like damn. thats been a day or two, right? it shouldve closed up by now. all you did was go swimming, the fuck you mean it opened again

that boat is TINY i gotta say

aaaa meg coming back to set up LND

i hate LND but meg in pants is just 💝💘💕🌈

aaand. uh. oh right

i hate LND

but the date on christines gravestone is 1917?

and i thought LND happened in 1907?

which is when she. dies.

back to the actual movie, the fact that they changed when the chandelier fell to be nearer the end of the movie IRKED me

i think thats all i have to say about this movie?

this was all done from memory, so forgive me if things are off, or if i forgot something

overall: im gay and i enjoyed watching pretty people. it has its problems but its not bad

#the phantom of the opera #victors internal monologue #the phantom of the opera (2004)

[sems-diarie]

Hello, i dont really lnow who to talk to about this because it’s honestly embarrassing and maybe im overreacting, or i dont want ppl to think im just being an attention whore, but i think I’ve developed some sort of eating disorder...

Like beforehand i would binge eat alot. I remember one time at lunch I had eaten a bowl of mashed potatoes (with chicken and gravy), then a second scoop of potatoes, a cookie, some green beans, a side salad, and i was ready to eat my friends pizza. Once i ate that pizza i knew it wouldn’t be the end, but she decided it was better for me to not eat it (thankyou to her).

Anyways, I recently started to feel really guilty when i thought about certain people or icons because I immediately felt ashamed thinking “they wouldn’t do this” or “they’d be dissapointed” and at first it was fine, because it helped me eat normal food portions. But i realised it was a problem when (i know this sounds stupid but on god this kept happening) where i was at the mall with a friend, and I had only eaten like 2 eggs that day (because of poor timing) and we got some food. As i was eating my regular portion, my brain wandered off and honestly started thinking about bokuto. It quickly went from “oh bokuto ☺️” to “hmm... bokuto wouldn’t like me... neither would the others... but bokuto likes chubby girls!” And then “but youre not just chubby... you just dont look good and you’re way too big...” and suddenly my appetite was gone and I didn’t eat for the rest of the night (i only took like 2 bites of my calzone).

But i think it’s pretty bad now... and i dont know how to stop before it gets worse. I literally cant tell my appetite apart from me actually being hungry anymore. Today i had to eat a slice of pizza because of my school lunch, i also ate a hot dog way later and just gave up on ‘eating healthy’ by eating another slice of pizza from our dinner. I really honest to god feel awful about it all even thiugh it was basically 2 pizza slices and a hit dog (no bun). To the point i just want to throw it up and go on a run (even though i excercised decently today). I just feel so terrible anout my meals and i dont know what to do. I genuinely feel depressed enoguh to the point where i have no motivation, im just wallowing in the fact that I’ve eaten like this today. I dont know what to do or who to talk to...

baby, you are so fucking valid.

ED’s are hard and it’s so easy to turn on yourself because of them. please remember that everything you are, including each and every one of your struggles is so, incredibly important. you are not overreacting.

i don’t know a lot about ED’s, or how to fix them, but i can tell you that no matter what you look like, or how much you eat, you are deserving of love. you deserve respect and kindness, and you are endlessly beautiful. and you deserve to love yourself. eating isn’t a crime. the size of your body doesn’t determine how loveable you are. your body is good, no matter what you eat or how much you eat, or where your day distributes—your body is a good body. a gorgeous body. always.

and your idols would fucking love you. bokuto would absolutely fucking love you. he told me so.

#I love you. #tw eating disorder #cw eating disorder