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feuqueerfire · 2 years

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His - I Didn’t Mean To Fall In Love + His (The Movie) Live Blogging

The movie vs drama and prequel vs sequel thing about this series (?) was confusing to me but after a minute of researching, I think His: I Didn’t Mean To Fall In Love is a 5-episode drama that was released in 2019 and then His (the movie) was released in 2020, which is the sequel.

I kinda read the summaries for them on MDL, so I have a vague idea of what it’s about. Hope my streak of actually liking the Japanese BLs I watch continues with these!

His - I Didn’t Mean To Fall In Love

Episode 1 (June 22)

This takes place in March 2006 and the Viki comments talking about how they were born like a few months or a year after like T.T aren’t you all children? But no, a 2007 baby is now 15. omg people born in 1980s and before also commenting :0 so cool.

lmfao? Our guy is certainly not having a good day, first his dad leaves for 10 days for work as soon as he gets home, then he’s saddled with some guy’s (love interest lol) surfboard to look after, then he falls into the water, then gets slapped because a girl thinks he stole the surfboard T.T

lmfao the girl’s parents talking about how the dad snuck into the mom’s bed when he first stayed over at her house

I freaking like the girl and her mom’s banter and dynamic and how they don’t quite get each other

I keep calling her girl but her name is Chika

Shun and Chika standing side by side staring at Nagisa waxing the board lol

I don’t have much to say, it’s just so soft and sleepy even though like i have some thoughts (like Chika putting her plaque with her and Nagisa’s name over the plaque of Nagisa and his gf?!)

Ako is freaking cute

Nagisa’s pretty but I don’t really get why so many people like him. Though him coming to Shun to have him go surfing is cute

Episode 2 (June 22)

Lol slightly older girls seem to like Nagisa, his gf’s in university. Though I wonder how much older she is than him? She could just be 2 years older but also like 4 lol. She’s not wrong for wanting him to wear the jewelry she buy him or give her something for White Day though. He just seems freaking unfeeling but maybe that’s got to do with the fact that he maybe doesn’t like women

I like Chika and Shun’s friendship

lmfao Nagisa staring at Shun’s bare back while they’re changing out of their wetsuits but the obvious way he looked away when Shun caught him is hilarious

the flip phone lol

Nagisa’s so awkward T.T The way he gave Shun the keys to ride the bike and then ran away

alkdjf not Nagisa calling Chika’s phone and her being excited but he actually wants Shun, rip Chika

like... Nagisa’s gf isn’t wrong, he really isn’t treating her well (like just ignoring her calls) + bringing a friend to a serious conversation. She’s not being unreasonable. I hope they just break up right now.

Nagisa’s so ?? He’s so bad at communicating lol and freaking rude

aklsdfj D: Erectile disfunction at the hotel bomb dropped?! In front of Shun too T.T sooo awkward I’m dead

Chika stalking Nagisa & Shun and having Ako tag along with her lol

woah cute ass scene of them finding Nagisa’s keys. Nagisa was flustered but Shun kept smiling and looked sooo beautiful fr

The comments say that Nagisa’s using Shun’s shampoo but why would his shampoo even be there?

Woah it’s been clear Nagisa likes Shun this episode but it’s wild how much he’s like vibrating out of his skin with it. The way he’s sniffing Shun and trying to get closer to him while Shun’s sleeping. I thought Shun would like Nagisa, esp with the initial photos he took at the beach, but seems it’s the other way around

Episode 3 (June 22)

akl;sdfj Chika lying down in Shun’s makeshift bed and smelling it because she thinks that’s where Nasiga slept

T.T I knew they’d make Ako like Shun (he’s freaking nice to her, as he should be because she’s sooo cute) but I don’t want her to get hurtttt

Me hoping Chika and Ako would get together is fruitless lol I definitely would’ve heard if there were gay girls in this

Sometimes Shun bites his lower lip after laughing (Ep 2 after finding the key, here in 8:21) and it’s aksldfj beautiful, not awkward/cringe because it’s not meant to be like sexy

Nagisa accidentally drinking from Shun’s can (and Shun deciding not to tell him), Nagisa letting him borrow The Talented Mr. Ripley and asking to let him know what he thinks, Nagisa buying Shun absurd amounts of candy >.<

loll the mom thinking Chika likes Shun. The mom’s so cute and excited tho lmfao rip

Naurrr mom and dad discussing how Chika probably likes Shun right in front of Nagisa while Nagisa himself likes Shun as well and whole times Chika actually likes Nagisa. I’m liking these complicated love lines, especially if we put in Ako’s actual crush on Shun as well.

Aak, Nagisa hearing Chika and Shun discussing Ako emailing him. rip Nagisa mans got hit with 2 of Shun’s possible love interests in the span of Minutes

alksdfj okay what a conversation. Nagisa mad/jealous -> Shun asks Nagisa what he thinks of Chika -> Nagisa: do you like her? -> Shun: sure -> Nagisa: She likes you too so congrats. -> Shun ?? tf she doesn’t like me, she likes you, she told me to keep it a secret. -> Nagisa: smug and relieved

girl this legend of the monk and the boy ? O.O Nagisa sure chose a hell of a story to introduce the ~2 boys~ idea in Shun’s mind lol

Bro in certain angles Shun looks So Much like Win Metawin to me

Awww rip Nagisa. N: Would it gross you out if a boy liked you? S: Idk if it’d gross me out. I can’t even imagine it.

Bro those dumplings look so freaking good, I want

omg I love these parents. Mom was ready to have Chika driven over to stop Shun and Ako’s date so that she can win Shun back, I’m dead

Are... Ako and Shun playing a game or something on their date? Staring contest?

Naurr Nagisa suddenly kissing Chika just to forget about Shun. it’s not fair to her and she’s just gonna get hurt more in the future </3

Episode 4 (June 22)

oh lol Ako was just showing Shun how quickly she can cry because of her acting class

my mouth dropped open, no way Chika said “you should go out for dinner with someone or maybe try changing yourself a little” to her coworker guy who clearly likes her. I’ve decided I’m gonna be ignoring most age gaps in Japanese shows (after Nagisa’s older gf + lol currently waiting for Minato Shouji Coin Laundry) but other than that this guy seems freaking nerdy and earnest, that can be cute (esp in a show). Chika certainly doesn’t have to like him back or even like him as a person but that was so rude. Seems like she has similar traits to Nagisa’s ex herself

these parents kill me actually lmfao their opinions on Nagisa (lol playboy) and them going to a love hotel ?!

nooo Nagisa randomly hearing some strangers’ casual homophobia among friends

rip at least seeing Ako and Shun on their little date not date is cute but Nagisa and Chika’s is just rip because Chika’s being lead on and is gonna get her heart broken while Nagisa’s being an asshole leading her on but also is struggling with sexuality and also unrequited love based on gender (for now)

Crying, her parents got her condoms as a gift?! I think these parents are actually on Pete’s father from Dark Blue Kiss’s level and possibly even higher just based on how much screentime they get + their personalities + their caringness for their daughter and Shun and Nagisa

Ako is so beautiful

Shun and Ako in that acting class acting out their narrative in this story (A asks him to be her bf, S says sorry I like someone else) is interesting!

Nooo Ako crying because Shun’s leaving soon + also she realizes he doesn’t like her back

I like this random kid with all his playfulness and recorder at Nagisa and Shun’s part time job

dang Shun thanking Nagisa while outside his door and mans isn’t even in his room rip

Dude, this show has such interesting conversations and dynamics, the conversation between Nagisa and Chika’s coworker tree-lover guy was so good, esp with how they didn’t know who the other was

The sequences of events in this show are just so good? The Nagisa and Chika conversation where Nagisa’s like “Do you like Shun? It’s crazy to be worried about that isn’t it?” as Nagisa’s running off to see Shun and Nagisa’s like “It’s not crazy. As far as I’m concerned, it’s perfectly normal.”

1 more episode, I guess everything has to unravel now. Rip all the hurt

Episode 5 (June 22)

Dang Nagisa fr is an asshole lol just does not give a fuck about Chika chasing after him and almost getting hit by a car

lol mom’s got it I think that Nagisa likes Shun

One of the best parts of this show is all the different characters and their interactions and conversations like right now Nagisa’s ex (she’s 3 years older apparently) and Chika are talking about Nagisa right now.

Yo this is actually so good because Nagisa’s ex doesn’t know that Chika knows and is “dating” Nagisa, so she’s just divulging all this information about him, including the fact that he probably likes the guy he brought to their last meeting (Shun - she picked up on it fast), and Chika has some realizations

rip does Nagisa my guy just not have Shun’s email or phone number lol Also Shun’s not leaving for 2 more days right? I guess Nagisa’s just not thinking straight

The Viki comments sometimes piss me off because why are some people so mean about Chika for no reason, she has a right to be upset that the guy she likes who kissed her first + went on dates with her has liked someone else this whole time. It’d be one thing if she was being homophobic or trying to dictate how Nagisa should behave but she didn’t do that

Bro I love the mom’s breakup recovery advice letter, love Ako accompanying Chika to fulfill it, love the random garbage collector taking away the bone (representing Nagisa) in a box as trash (which he is - to them at least). This reminds me slightly of how after Sean rejected Name in Not Me, they showed us a scene of her crying to make us feel empathy but we didn’t know or care for the character enough for it to work (I was like oh no is she gonna turn bad?). This series did a more successful, charming version of that.

[About Nagisa liking Shun and Shun possibly liking him back] Chika: “So you mean we’re both part of the same tragedy?” Ako: “I’m not sure if this is a tragedy or a comedy.” Well it could certainly be romance if the two of you realized you like women and got together but that’s just wishful thinking and also wouldn’t be good to shove into the story right now. I’m just glad they’re such good friends to each other

Ako and Chika are both so freaking beautiful my gosh

Fuckk Nagisa talking about being gay and it’s just so much internalized homophobia :<

Aw he moved here because the rumours of him being gay spread at his old school

rip Nagisa talking about how he tried dating girls because he might end up liking them but couldn’t. Rip Chika’s heartbreak too

loll Ako’s camera had film, at least when she took photos of Nagisa. I wonder if she added it after her conversations with Shun or if there was film all along

Something about Nagisa discussing Shun with Chika and Shun discussing Nagisa with Ako is cute. The girls being like eyeeeee think you should tell him though they say it differently - Chika: >:(, Ako: ^.^

woah Nagisa’s the first person Shun likes

:0 nooo Shun deleted the photos he took of Nagisa at the beach on the first day

Chika’s disdain for guys is fucking funny

the confession happening in the last 2 minutes of the series ?! lmfao and the sequel movie starts with a fuckton of angst I believe?

Nagisa: Ever since the day I met you, I’ve liked you. Shun: It’s the opposite for me. The more time passes, the more I find myself liking you.

Bro cute, romantic, desperate ass hug at the end.

The best parts of it are:

the parents, they rival and might win over Pete’s dad in terms of best BL parent(s), especially the mother. They weren’t the parents of either of the guys but they still cared for them + their daughter Chika and had personalities and were involved in their child’s life + was supportive of her.

the characters in general because there are a handful but they’re all important and interact with each other and serve a purpose and it’s definitely one of the best uses of characters in a BL I’ve seen.

Very different from most BLs in that although Shun and Nagisa have cute moments and plenty of interactions so that you can feel how Nagisa likes Shun, there are many scenes where they aren’t present at all and the story and characters are still being progressed. Usually when a show focuses on not the main couple, it’s on the secondary couple but this show is one cohesive unit where each person plays a part in moving this one story forward. Good choice since it’s such a short show. I thought Chika and her parents, Ako, Nagisa’s ex, Chika’s coworker were all freaking well-built characters and served their purpose well, I liked their interactions between each other (there were so many) and with Nagisa or Shun.

I don’t know if I’ll think about this show often and I wish they actually dated in the show for a bit. Also would’ve liked to see some more of Shun actually liking Nagisa, even if he doesn’t realize it. It’s weird that one of my criticisms is that I wish Shun was a bit more well-developed when I think all the side characters were really well developed for their roles and short runtime.

Onto the movie tomorrow, can’t wait for the heartache.

Rating: 6.5/10

His The Movie

Okayyyy, time to start this I guess. I wonder if we’ll get any of their high school cuteness at the start or if we’re jumping straight into the angst because we also got 0 established relationship in the series. Also, I learned today that the actors in this are different than the series ones which makes sense since they’re almost a decade older but hmmm. Aside but I was looking at the poster for Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai and realized that the guy who played Nagisa is in that.

June 23

Bro what a fucking beginning. Cute, adorable, domestic, teasing waking up scene that ends with “Shun, let’s break up” and it was just a dream of the past.

Bro this movie is so calming so far but it makes your heart ache.

Cute ass child.

The guy who plays Shun is still beautiful but I miss the original Shun from the series, some of his mannerisms were really attractive to me lol

Anyway, how are you supposed to react if your first love comes back to see you with his child and tells you about how he married and got divorced etc and his reason for coming is just... “Somehow I wanted to see you.” and says what you had in the past is so long ago

lmfao Shun having to witness Nagisa be a good father to his adorable girl and also now the rumour mill has started that maybe something’s going on between Shun and Nagisa, rip Shun he wants it to be true so bad

“When these things happen, try to enjoy the inconvenience rather than get upset.” That’s so interesting. Enjoy the inconvenience. The woman’s nice!

This slice of life thing where it’s just daily life + meeting people is actually so nice

Nagisa left his child with Shun without even telling him to go on some urgent business?! Bruh, Shun has no experience with kids, I’m dead. Also, flashback to Shun’s dad leaving so soon after Shun went to visit him in the series lol

Sora just leaving the store lmfao?

lmfao dying at their dinner being 15 million egg dishes

Shun learning to take care of Sora bit by bit T.T

Shun kept Nagisa’s letters and sweater </3

Nagisa’s so fucked up, mans is drunk and tryna kiss Shun rip. I guess his conversation with the people in Tokyo who kept talking about how Sora needs both a mother and a father (and not to be raised by 2 men lol) really got to him (but also he’s just a general asshole, even in the series, so)

Fucking crying at them making food and having a meal with the hunter old man and also each saying that the other turned them into a bookworm

this Christmas tree scene is so cute

Dang, Sora got taken away in a dang minute

This really reminds me of how Itou Akira marrying the girl and wanting to be normal and the conversation with their wife, though with the added child + cheating with men

Yeah, selfish is the word for both Akira and Nagisa but like... I mean... yeah. I forgive it each time because I’m more in awe of their courage to at least finally come out years later

I feel for Sora’s mother: she finds out her husband’s gay and never loved her, he literally takes their child somewhere else randomly, has to work and also take care of the kid now whereas I don’t think she has much experience raising Sora, is facing her mother’s disapproval, and now is battling custody. I hope she considers that while she could work fulltime and take care of a child with the use of like daycare and help from her mother, Sora’s dad has been taking care of her this whole time and should still be able to. Is shared custody not an option? It’d be good if they could come up with the best solution for the child (though idk how Sora’s education would go if they have shared custody since Nagisa’s gonna live at the countryside with Shun for the foreseeable future - maybe weekday vs weekends & holidays?)

So interesting to see all this divorce prep and custody battles in this BL, especially the discussion of how Nagisa’s gay relationship will affect it

“Because if I stay with Mama, I get in the way of her work” T.T Aw Sora

Misato confessing to Shun but probably understanding 2 minutes later that he’s with Nagisa lol

lmfao as soon as they started looking at each other with those eyes I was like whelp, hope you’re ready to explain everything to Sora and yep, there her little head is watching them make out. At least they hadn’t taken any articles of clothing off yet

Oh lol little child was so out of it with sleepiness, cute

D: oh no, Sora’s insisting upon seeing Nagisa and Shun kissing to her classmates really loudly in front of everybody. And that’s when Shun comes to pick her up aklsdfj

You know what, I need a break lol I don’t wanna watch Sora ask Shun if he’s kissing her dad in front of all the kids and elderly

June 23

Okay, I’m gonna have lunch and just... watch it. It probably won’t even be too bad, I was just too anxious yesterday

As I expected, they didn’t show the reactions after Sora asked Shun in front of everybody. However, now Shun and Nagisa are talking about one of them leaving the town and </3. At least Nagisa’s like “yeah, I was only thinking about myself when I left you, when I missed you, and also when I came back.”

rip Shun’s flashback to having to deny being gay at a work party T.T

kind supportive old grandpa :)

NOOOO he’s died?

Aww sweet Sora, reassuring Shun

I was gonna be like D: Shun, coming out at somebody’s funeral and making it about you?! (+ also omg sooo public) but I guess the old man might approve

Bro Shun’s speech is sooo awkward for me to watch bye but I’m glad everybody was nice

T.T Shun coming in wearing Nagisa’s old sweater from the beginning of the movie and saying “I want to spend my life with you... you, Sora-chan, and me.”

naurrrr Misato started off so well but the lawyer using societal homophobia + leading questions to get her to mess up alksdfjaskdlfj >:(

Why isn’t the fact that Sora literally left her home and was at the police station under her mom’s care not being brought up at court?

omg screaming at the cuteness of the contrast of this time Nagisa finding Shun high-fiving Sora after cracking an egg with one hand

Bro yeah idk how these people are managing to do the witness stand like I’m sitting here and thinking “Oh Shun shouldn’t say that he lost sight, he should mention that Nagisa said he was Sora’s main caretaker, so Shun trusted him to know what’s good for her.” or smth but I would’ve 100% started crying

Sora’s so cute and innocent T.T

Bro I’m like both mad at Sora’s mom because being drunk and neglecting a child so that they leave the house and get lost and ask for father at the police station is unacceptable but like... doing everything she wants to do (job + raise Sora alone) is very difficult, so I sympathize. Also like she’s being labeled as a “bad mom” because of how she little time she spent with Sora or the lack of chores she did and stuff but like she worked enough to provide for all 3 of them since Nagisa didn’t work. I think this means that she shouldn’t be getting custody but they’re so cruel toward her :(

Nooo Nagisa dumbass, don’t be unselfish nowwww (unless it’s a really good plan. I don’t actually know what a settlement is lol). I mean it’s true what he’s saying but the conclusion doesn’t have to be that he gives up custody?!

Okay actually you know what... maybe Nagisa apologizing and acknowledging Rena’s sacrifices and proposing a settlement is beautiful actually

The fucking achy feeling of this movie is actually so aslkdfj Like Sora’s cute ass voice in this angsty ass conversation, followed by Nagisa just breaking down in Shun’s arms T.T

1h52 - 1 month later

I’m glad we get to see how hard doing everything is for Rena but at least Sora and her get a few smiles (and also I think Rena got advice from Nagisa in that call?)

omg T.T All 4 of them on an outing together, a little bit of Sora’s dream. + Rena sharing that she can’t ride a bike (a secret from Nagisa and Sora) to Shun is sooooo T.T

I don’t know what to feel now except like... empty? I T.T That was really good. I wish we got to see another scene or two of Nagisa and Shun living by themselves without Sora though and how her absence has affected them (Nagisa especially) and how they’ve dealt with it.

It also kinda didn’t feel like a sequel to the first one lol there were like of the barest hints but it all still makes sense without having watched the series.

Anyway, just... really good, really achy.

Like the slice of life aspect (in a different slice-of-life way than the first series) and just how slow it felt, the child (Sora was so freaking cute), the twinge of heartache in every scene. Just like the series, it also just had so many other things that aren’t just Nagisa and Shun together.

This reminded me a bit of History 2: Right or Wrong with the child being a main character and there’s a wife he’s not with thing but this one dealt with divorce and custody. It’s also like the aftermath of Life: Love on the Line breakup and so it deals with it better since the whole movie focuses on just that.

Rating: 7/10 (I’m still going between 6.5 vs 7 but honestly like why not 7? why not?)

Rating: 8/10 [Aug 20, 2022 Update: Increased by 0.5 stars when rerating my top BLs] [Oct 29, 2022 Update: Increased by 0.5 stars when rerating my top BLs]

Tiktoks:

2019 series Nagisa and Shun

2020 first waking up scene -> 2019 sleeping on the floor

2019 and 2020 parallels and scenes

2019, 2022 parallels

Shun Alone Again edit

Nagisa and Shun - Mitski Once More To See You

Rena: He needed more than me

I destroy myself just for you

#ep by ep commentary #his (jpn)

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sophiapathic · 3 years

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Sk8: The Infinity - A Take on Love

Because my six unfinished assignments can wait until I throw this into the void, scream for five hours and after my voice gets hoarse, I resort to watching the beach episode on loop until next Saturday.

This was entirely sparked by the recap episode, which really pressed the reak havoc and theorize button in my brain. I am truly losing my grip on reality. Help. I apologize in advance, creatures of Tumblr.

Me right now:

Anyways...

I saw people mention here and there screaming that “we need canon relationships and they will get trust issues if a romance isn’t confirmed by the end of the series”. I think that mindset is harmful to have in this case. You can’t really avoid being disappointed if you get into the series expecting it to deliver on your wishes of gay romances. So, this might be controversial, but stay with me please. The anime and manga are both confirmed to be based primarily about the characters themselves and of course the sport -skating. I was hoping to take a closer look at what the series intends to do with certain dynamics and relationships according to yours truly. I also want explain my reasoning behind it not being queerbaiting, though it being inherently queer-coded, through the current lense of the canon.

Sk8: The Infinity is unquestionably a love story.

We need to state the genres this series is in, because some of us tend to forget. It is in fact not a shounen-ai, not a yaoi, not a romance, not even a josei. Say it with me it is a series in: COMEDY and SPORTS.

(Source is the official US Sk8 website.) The spotlight is udoubtedly on skating and what it means. Another important highlight of the show is how the definition of the sport relates to the characters, and how vastly different they are from what we expect. For example, when we see Shadow first, we pigeonhole him into this vulgar indecent rock and roll persona, only to find out later that he is actually a stweetheart at a flower shop. Joe is another very good case study. When we first see him we think of him as a womanizer muscle-head, later we find out he has a heart of gold and is very emotionally intelligent. We’re also quick to judge Miya as the cold, unfeeling prodigy then we discover how lonely and normal he is on the inside. And so on and so on.

The show continues to defy our expectations of what each character should be like. In a way it is about breaking the conventional stereotypical roles we subconsciously assign to certain looks. We see that even in anime, multifaceted characters can exist without distrupting or damaging the delicate dynamics of a traditional sports anime. We successfully established the second focal point of the series as disproving stereotypes and presenting strong, diverse and unexpected personalities.

How about the defition of skating? What does it mean in the context of Sk8: The Infinity then? Where does a love story come into the picture? Skating is repeatedly described as a ritual of love within the anime, an idea that our villian, Ad*m, is obessed with. In a sense skating is a language of love canonically.

Then skating itself is love. Throughout the series we see varied styles of skating therefore different ways of expressing love, affection. We get to experience several metaphorical ways of “being in love” through characters skating with each other. Each dynamic shows us a type of love. Healthy, disfunctional, outright abusive.

The way Reiki teaches Langa to skate can be interpreted as a direct metaphor for someone learning to love again after losing a person close to them. Langa’s father has died and Reiki literally brings him out of his shell again. It can also be interpreted as a queer kid’s experience of a world of romance that feels similar to his previous one, that being snowboarding, yet it still being new and different. Skateboarding. When due to Reiki Langa’s potential is discovered and his hunger for more and more develops, especially next to Ad*m, Reiki’s main frustration stems from them not being well-matched or on equal footing anymore. He feels like he cannot give Langa what he needs anymore. Which would obviously go againts the literal description of a healthy romance. Two people with mutual respect who both bring equal assets to the table. He feels like he needs to catch-up to be with Langa again. The only thing he doesn’t consider is Langa’s deep appreciation of him and the fact that literally he was the one who helped Langa experince the feeling of love again.

Kojiro and Kaoru’s relationships, to me, is very much representative of two people wanting to be in each other’s presence, but due to their different language of love, miscommunicating horribly. Them bantering and insulting each other is the only way they know what to do with the other. The only way they can ensure the other’s attention and eyes are on them. This has worked so far. They are literal opposites, but both have a very clear definition of their form of love. To Joe skating, or love itself, is about the feeling and going with the flow. Being spontaneous. Whereas for Cherry, every move needs to be calculated and executed perfectly in order to be “efficient”. Their frustration comes from both wanting different things from the other, but not communicating their need properly. Despite this, they stick together due to a magnetic pull they obviously feel towards the other. The attraction is there, the trust is there, they are even well-matched in skill as we see them neck-to-neck constantly. They could give each other what the other wants. Only if they could express themselves well... This is why Joe pushes Reiki towards reconciling with Langa. he wants them to not fall into the same trap of not stating their needs and thoughts properly.

Now Ad*m and Langa are obviously problematic and I don’t really want to have to explain, honestly guys. I really don’t (since I have trauma regarding this subject), but I need to go into this a little bit. This is a textbook toxic predatory relationship. Where the older, twisted, damaged person, has an obsession with a young, outstading child. He wants to lead him into “Paradise” and show his “Eve” what love is really about. (Ain’t that disgusting you guys...) His form of love is inflicting pain, so I really can’t imagine a scenario where he and his “Eve” live happily ever after and everything is fine and dandy. He needs someone who he can torture. He literally is looking for someone who can handle his way of expressing affection, his “love hug”, who has the same type of crazy eyes for adrenaline and danger. His Eve. In his distorted mind, this all makes sense and Langa is that someone he was looking for thoughout the years. The problem is, he disregards Langa’s side where the relationship becomes problematic.

Cherry and Ad*m during their younger years seems to be a very innocent infatuation on Kaoru’s end. It is a one-sided relationship where someone is in love with the idea of a person long gone. They were discovering the world of skating, or the world of love together with Ad*m taking the lead. Cherry immediately became infatuated with him, wanted to learn his love language, wanted to be at the same level he was. It probably started very innocent. At first, Ad*m being gentle, because that’s how Tadashi was with him too, then after whatever happened between those two, Ad*m, disappointed in the way of love, or skating, Tadashi showed him, returned to what his aunts taught him. Maybe after injuring Kaoru with the “love hug”, therefore eliminating him from being his potential partner, started looking for his “Eve”, gradually became more agressive in love as in skating. Kaoru was distraught and wanted the Ad*m he originally learned love from back. Holding out some hope even years after. Trained to get used to his “love hug”, to literally condition himself to be able to get close to him. Ad*m, however showed Cherry brutally that he truly cannot handle his way of love.

Ad*m and Tadashi. *sighs* As of this post, I don’t really have enough information to give you a good overview of what I see this relationship representing. As far as I can tell Ad*m was abused horribly and to ease the pain and make him forget, Tadashi showed his another way of expressing affection. Skating or love. Basically a first love gone horrible bad, scarring an already abused child and turning them into a monster. Tadashi himself reinstates this during one of the episodes. It was his fault that Ad*m turned out the way he did. Their love slowly became strongly abusive throughout the years. Tadashi is stuck in it because he feels like he deserves it. This is a metaphor for dangers of an emotionally and physically abusive relationship, where one person feels responsible and the other is using power. Tadashi’s guilt keeps him next to his master and he even endures abuse, now he is trying to break out and show Ad*m he messed up and I think this could potentially be a good representation of how difficult that process truly is.

As far as Reiki’s, Miya’s, Shadow’s skating goes. Their main arc relating to love is first and foremost learning to accept themselves and aprecciating their uniqe way and style of skating. Only after can they become people who can truly be accomplished in love/skating (in Miya’s case I’m obviously talking about platonic feelings). Each of them had a preconception of their persona in love/skating, which gets questioned heavily throughout the series. Miya gets defeated, Shadow’s soft side gets discovered, Reiki... well. I get sad. :c Even though he taught someone to love again, to appreciate life again, he ended up discovering how dissatisfied he truly is with himself... These three all need to learn to love every aspect of themselves to reach fulfillment and to really experience healthy human relationships.

Sk8: The Infinity is unquestionably a love story, without explicitly being a romance, meaning that it is a tale about love, both romantic, platonic and everything inbetween through a queer-coded lens, showing both dysfunctional, abusive and healthy relationships, ways to express emotions and even delves into self-love and the idea of nature versus nurture in the villian’s case.

That is why I, personally don’t scream for a canon couple. To me, the show gets its main point about affection and love across, without making any of these relationships explicitly stated. Not to mention that it does justice to both of its assigned genres. Comedy and Sports as well. Yeah sure, I wouldn’t complain, but I think these dynamics are more than satisfying to watch, and much deeper than bishounens wanting to bang each other, which is, in my opinion, inherently sexualized. If they want, yeah they can confirm, make it canon without forcing it to be a center storyline. Hell, I would even be happy about it. I would clap with all of us. BUT, as the series currently is, I really see it taking the other route because of the above. This way audiences who want a yaoi or ikemen going at it, won’t be disappointed with the series when they find doesn’t revolve around that, straight viewers will just find it flamboyant, and people who look for subtext and want to read between the lines will certainly do that with the amount of crumbs and hints the writers gave us.

We don’t need outright, written in black and white gay representation in Sk8 to experience very real types of love. The queer theme is secondary to me, just like queerness is, in most people’s lives. Yeah sure, it is a big thing, but not the only attribute a person has. My life doesn’t revolve around my queerness. I rarely talk about it. If I was a main character this would be a side-arc. Just like Sk8 doesn’t revolve around the characters coming out. It’s just them living their lives and possibly being queer while doing so. If you look at it this way, it is almost normalizing attraction between same-sex people by just showing it as regular love. If you can, why not interpret it this way, so it can be a liberating experience instead of a disappointing one.

Please don’t attack me! I am fragile and this is only my opinion. c: *crawls back into her hole*

#sk8 cherry blossom #sk8 joe #sk8 the infinity #sk8 theory #sk8 langa #reiki kyan #langa hasegawa #kaoru sakurayashiki #kojiro nanjo #ad*m #tadashi #matcha blossom #renga #ranga #langa x reki #cherry blossom x joe #essay

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luigra · 2 years

Text

Where. Where is it. Where did my old post on gay sex in Hermitcraft go. I can't find it I was going to bring it back why is Tumblr search so disfunctional

#I might have easier time just going on Discord and finding when I said the same joke in a message #but the problem is I WANT IT IN POST FORM #a screenshot showing that I already made this joke before is cool but it's like presenting a certificate of owning an item #without actually having the item itself #fuck. fuck what if I haven't posted it on Tumblr

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naraki · 2 years

Text

Hello here is my Troy x abed pinning playlist analysis I made,,,,,, very sad

Y’all ready for this,,, this consists of whos povs I think go with who and reasons why

Solitary confinement- everyone worries about Owen

- Abed pov

- Him trying to convince himself he’s okay with Troy being gone

- Failing as a director

- Just feels like life is falling apart

- Late season 5 him isolating himself from everyone

Death cup- mom jeans.

- Abed pov

- “Might cry in front of you”

- Finally letting down his walls

- “I didn’t want you to feel like it was your fault” he doesn’t want Troy to blame himself for how disfunctional he is

- This whole song is just abed realizing he can’t tell Troy he’s heart broken because he knows Troy would come home in a heart beat if he was sad and not go on his much needed journey

Cigarette daydreams- cage the elephant

- just fits the vibe

Two sized mattress - the frontbottoms

- abed pov

- Defiantly more of an au song

- Like a high school au and Troy has internalized homophobia and probably ends up running away after people find out hes gay

Sick of loosing soulmates- dodie clark

- both of them

- They are soulmates but now separated

Letter home- childish gambino

- Troy pov

- Writing letters to abed but thinks abed has already moved on

- Letter in a bottle but he knows it won’t get to him

Mr. Blue - Catherine feeny

- Troy pov

- He probably did tell abed he loved him before he left or at least wanted to

- Wanted to tell him everything will be okay

- This song is everything he wanted to tell abed before he left

Buddy- willie Nelson

- Troy pov

- He always calls abed ‘buddy’

- Cries

- I just feel like he would sing this

I love you, I’m sorry - Mel bryant & the mercy makers

- could be either pov which ever angst you want

- In the rain crying and screaming confession the night before Troy leaves

- The other is just in shock

- The angst we deserved

Mr. Lover man- Ricky Montgomery

- Vibes

- Both pov

- This is just the perfect pinning song

Supercut- Lorde

- abed pov

- “Supercut” movie lingo

- He would do everything this song says

- This is just his thinking

Somewhere out there- Troy and abed

- explanatory

Human- dodie Clark

- Troy pov

- Once again him just thinking about abed

- This is before he leaves

- Like season 1&2 him trying to figure out who this cute nerd is

Vienna- billy Joel

- this is just a Troy song

- Not pov this song is just him

- It just is

Old friend- bedroom/boredom

- Troy pov

- It just is

Lonely eyes- the front bottoms

- Troy pov

- Him towards abed, trying to figure him out

- Similar to human

Scott pilgrim vs my gpa - mom jeans.

- Troy pov

- When they fought during abed buying all those actors

- He’s just upset and scared

- It’s okay Troy,,, it gets better

Dark red- Steve lacy

- just both of them

- Just works with the pinning

Holy ground (Taylor’s version) - Taylor swift

- Troy pov

- Abed pulling him into his antics on day 1

- Him first falling

Starlight (Taylor’s version) - Taylor swift

- more of that happy first falling era

- Could be either pov

Sad beautiful Tragic (Taylor’s version- Taylor swift

- Both pov

- :(

Come back...be here (Taylor’s version)a Taylor swift

- abed pov

- The title

- This song was made for abed nadir post season 5 episode 5

- Just replace plane with ship

- Feels bad for missing him

Hoax- Taylor swift

- More sad angst

- Could be either if you think betrayal

- Thinking more Troy pov

- When he thinks he just abeds side kick and that’s all abed wants him to be

- Doesn’t feel like abed cares for him that much

- It’s okay abed proves you aren’t just a side kick

- He’s in love with you

Enchanted- Taylor swift

- Troy pov

- Hoping abed doesn’t fall for anyone while he’s gone

- That whole bridge is him

- He’s praying to god that abed likes him back and doesn’t loose those feelings

- He is defiently writing love letters rn and LeVar burton is just like “it’s okay buddy you’ll see him again”

I love you so- the Walters

- abed at himself

- Once again feeling bad for being sad Troy is gone

- ABEDS convo with dreamatorium Troy

Save your tears- the weekend

- them at each other

- the sad goodbyes

- just tell each other you are in love

Two birds- Regina Spektor

- bird who leaves is Troy

- Bird who is scared is abed

- Their last convo be like

Motion sickness- phoebe Bridgers

- abed pov

- Just is

- he misses him so much

Thank you for reading I hope you cried

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0j63sMLqkzfNQWCgfdpd1c?si=Yv7gHuXVTYCVAJrDSqjS-g

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hazzabeeforlou · 3 years

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Hi! Can I ask when/how you started writing and how you 'worked' it? I'm re-reading pits, and it's really damn well written, and it makes me feel so many things

Hi dear! You’re so sweet, I’m glad you’re coming back to my ‘story baby’ again, that makes me smile. This will be a bit of a long answer, but I hope it inspires anyone who’s had doubts to FORGOE the doubts and just start writing.

I’ve been making up stories as long as I can remember. I used to write little poems as a five year old, and then little picture books, and then come up with outrageous adventure dress-up games. I dreamed of writing fantasy novels in my pre-teen years, and had multiple journals stuffed with half articulated stories that I just didn’t think were ‘good enough.’ I was always great at coming up with plots and twists and endings, but the actual mechanics of sitting down and writing shit out really scared the hell out of my possible (probable) adhd/executive disfunction. I wrote some really sappy and SHORT Jaina Solo fanfic and some VERY Het but Not Het marauders fan fic in late high school/college, but mostly during those years I wrote tons of songs, and plotted a long-suffering fairy book (that I nagged @metal-eye about just this past week) but I had honestly never completed a full-ass “story” until I started writing for this fandom in 2018!!! Seriously. I MEAN THAT.

I started with a drabble, you can still find it, it’s the first thing I wrote on ao3. And then I was inspired by a tumblr post about a Selkie losing it’s skin and I thought up the plot for Until You Remember and wrote the whole fic out in like TWO DAYS. (Did I mention the probable adhd.) Around this time I was coming to terms with being gay and rehashing the trauma from religion and my family and what not, and I started writing PITS as little vignettes, chapter by chapter, each inspired by a different memory. There was no plot, no organization, just a jumble of scenes from my life. It’s sounds unbelievable, but all of a sudden I had nearly 100,000 words? And I was like WTF Toni. Because that had NOT been the plan. Anywho, I spent a good deal of time editing and stringing it all together, and by some twist of fate or premonition, the pieces all fit like a puzzle, and PITS was born. I honestly thought the subject matter too dark for this fandom, so I expected two or three people to read and comment.

But a little about the ‘working’ of writing, at least for me. I suppose there’s a smidge of natural intuition involved, as I’d always been told I could write well. I read a lot, and I am a VERY visual learner, and an even better copy cat, and I honestly think that’s why I’m so ‘good’ at music/art/writing, because I can mimic the teachers that have taught me. If someone tells me to phrase a phrase musically, I’ll be like, uh, okay ATTEMPT. But if they give me an example? I’ll play it back exactly that way. So it’s the same for writing with me, if I read an author with a certain style, I’ll be writing like that author for several days. My brain is a sponge of sentence structures, and I think that’s a really helpful quirk to have. Now in college, I did a TON of writing, and had some very patient people help me learn to structure essays and shit. At my grad school (which is. Very famous but not for writing.) a professor told me ‘we’ve had Harvard people that couldn’t write as well!’ WHICH I think is more an indictment of their criteria for admission than Harvard’s writing program but anyways my POINT is that I’ve carried a lot of what I learned and observed through 8 years in academia into fan fic writing, which for me is:

-“However” never starts a sentence

-use “was/is” like the HOTTEST pepper in your salsa. Sparingly, and with much debate over if you’ll regret it later

-scan your work for constantly used words (I’ll get in a rut and keep writing “deliberate” three times in the same page) and then THESAURUS THAT SHIT

-your fic is a soup, boil out the excess broth, or it will be all water and no substance. (Seriously, longer is NOT BETTER)

-don’t tell me in each separate paragraph what your character is thinking. Think up a way to SHOW what they’re thinking and let your reader figure it out for themselves. In other words, don’t mansplain to your reader. *(I just finished a fic—not in this fandom—that could have gone from 150k to 100k just by eliminating this RIP MY EYES)

-vary your sentence structure

-read what you’ve written out loud. If your brain stumbles at speaking it, it will be awkward for your reader too

-don’t obsess about your first draft. Just get ideas from your grey matter to your white paper and let it steep for a while, I swear all the silt will settle and you’ll be able to edit clearly

-google is your friend. I don’t remember every grammatical rule from high school either ;)

Okay. I’ve rambled enough. I hope that’s helpful nony, and good luck if you’re writing!! Much love, Toni <3

#anonymous #Toni talks about writing ?

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return-of-a-space-cowboy · 4 years

Text

The otherworld pt1

I became absolutely obsessed with this Coralline au idea by @yanderebloodlust

Hope you all enjoy it

You had wished that you had never gone through the door. You should of never fell for all of Doppio's temptations. He had buried you in gifts, anything you wanted was yours... But eventually you would have to do something in return and make a life changing decision.

"I love you so much dollface" he cooed to you as he saw you in the blue blouse with a matching star patterned skirt. He had a habit of calling you dollface but it wasn't in it's usual sleazy way, he said it in a very cute and endearing way; it was also a bit of a play on the fact he kind of looked like an old fashioned doll himself.

His purple hair flowed in a small nonexistent breeze. His smile was bright and lively that paired well with the little freckles dotted along his rosey cheeks. The only thing that took away from his liveliness was those orange button eyes with pink thread holding them in place.

"Thank you Doppio, I don't know how I would ever be able to thank you" you said as you hugged him.

"Well there is one way..." He mumbled.

"Really?" You asked.

"Yes" he replied as he pulled away and revealed a rectangular box and opening it, you shuddered as you saw it's contents. You knew what he was going to ask once you saw the pair of black buttons along with a needle and some thread.

"You... You want me to sew my eyes?" You asked.

"Yes, and once you do we can be together forever... Don't you want that?" He explained. For a moment you thought that maybe you should but you remembered about you life in the real world, your friends would really miss you and so would your parents. Even thou they weren't the best and maybe your life was a little disfunctional but at least it was better then some others.

"Umm... I think I'll pass..." You replied as you took a step back from him.

"What's the problem? if it's the needle then don't worry. I'll make sure that it doesn't hurt" he cood as he thrusted the box towards you.

"Do you perhaps not like the colour, maybe you would prefer lilac or turquoise or vermilion or maybe ivory?" He asked you.

"I really think you'd look good with ivory... It really brings out your purity" he commented.

"No... No..." You muttered.

"Excuse me, I didn't quite hear that!" He yelled as he dropped the box and grabbed your arm. His voice became bitter an irritated.

"I really should go... My parents must be getting really worried" you said as you tried to walk away.

"No! You can't leave me!" He screamed as he gripped your arm tightly. Bruises began to form on you arm.

"Please-"

"No! Never!" He screamed as he slammed you into the kithen bench.

"You can't leave me! You won't leave me! I won't let you leave me!" He continued his tyrant.

You felt so scared, the most you had ever in your life. You felt the items on the kithen bench behind you and grabbed the kithen knife and slashed the buttons out of his nonexistent eyesockets.

He hissed out in pain and the sound of those two buttons hitting the floor resonated throughout the room.

"(Y/n) how could you do this to me?! I'm your boyfriend!" He screamed as he felt around the room. You had completely blinded him.

You swifty took your chance of an escape and headed towards the lounge room.

"(Y/n)!" He yelled as he followed you, occasionally bumping into the hallway walls.

You ran into the lounge room and headed to the small door.

You tried to open the door but doorknob was playing up.

"(Y/n), please don't be like this" Doppio plead as he stumbled into the room.

You began to jingle the knob lightly while trying to open it and after a few attempts it finally opened with an awfully creak which alerted Doppio's attention to you.

He lunged towards you and grabbed your leg.

"(Y/n) just think about this for a moment, if you leave then you life will be just like before... Boring and mondane... Do you really want that?" He asked as he gave you what you assumed would of been the puppy dog eyes.

"Yes I choose to go back to my old life, and you can't stop me" you responded as you kicked him off your leg before beginning your last voyage through the tunnel. You picked up the pace as you saw Doppio not far behind.

The tunnel seemed longer the all the previous times you had been through it but you prevailed and quickly locked the door behind you.

"(Y/n)!" He screeched an ear piercing screech as he pounded on the door.

He continued for minutes on end, each time he call out to you his voice seemed to change into a deeper and more sinister until he stopped. However you waited a few more minutes just to make sure you were safe.

You looked at the the clock it was 7pm. You had been in the otherworld for 10 hours, it just proved to you that the otherworld had no sense of time.

"Mom, Dad... I'm home!" You called out but you had no response. It couldn't of taken them all that time to do the shopping.

You walked into the kitchen and there was a bag full of groceries with flies swarming around it on the bench. You peered inside to see various fruit, veg and meat that he'd completely spoilt.You wanted to gag at the sight alone and the putrid smell didn't help either.

Perhaps you had been in the otherworld for a lot longer. Your heart pounding with anxiety. You walked into the dining room where your phone had been placed before entering the otherworld.

You turned it on and gasped in horror, it had been a whole week, your parents must be petrified. You unlocked it and called your mother but you got no response. Your father was the same.

You looked at the table for any clues as to where they may be. You found a few letters and found on addressed to you, it was from a university you had applied for but you didn't open it. You didn't care what it said right now, you just wanted to know if your parents were safe.

You quickly grabbed a flashlight and made your way to the front door and opened it, their car was still there. You slowly approached the car and opened the door on the drivers side. No sign of them to be found.

"What are you doing out here so late at night?" You heard a familiar voice ask you which made chills go down your spine.

You turned around to see to familiar but definitely not pleasant figures towering over you.

Sorbet and Gelato were their names. They were your two of neighbours which your parents had instantly warned you to be wry of and you definitely understood why, they were a quite mischievous pair with a lot of secrets to hide. Whenever you were in their presence you felt that something was going to happen to you if you stayed long enough.

In the otherworld they didn't exist, instead they were replaced with two different people whose names were Squalo and Tiziano. They were so much nicer to be around, they always seemed to brighten the room unlike their real world counterparts. The only similarly you could pick between the two pairs was undeniablity that they were both gay couples.

"Have you seen my parents?" You asked them only to get a chuckle in response.

"Aww did the little girl lose her Mommy and Daddy?" Gelato said in a slightly mocking tone.

"No! They've completely vanished" you scowled.

"We saw them come home from the shops a week ago, they haven't left the area since" Sorbet replied.

"But I think we can help you find them" Gelato said as he held your hand and led you to their section of the estate.

"Wait, what are you doing?" You exclaimed as you tried to pull him off.

"If you want to find them your going to have to tell us what's going on" Sorbet explained as he followed you.

Eventually they had forced you down the stairs and into their home. Gelato pushed you down into the old sofa before going into one of the other rooms whilst Sorbet went to the kithen.

"Would you like something to drink or eat?" He asked you as he began to grab out three tea cups. In any other situation you would decline such an offer from him but with the thought that you may have not eaten in days you just couldn't refuse.

"Yes please" you replied as your eye wondered across the room. Most of the room was littered with boxes and the wall was covered in yellowing posters for thousands of theatrical productions. The posters were almost exactly like the ones Squalo and Tiziano had in the otherworld but then again they were quite the thespians. You could still remember their performance which for you had been quite the immersive experience.

"I'm guessing you and Gelato really love the theatre..." You said as you tried to make small talk.

"Not really, the posters are from Gelato's aunties that lived here before us" he replied.

"Why did they leave everything behind?" You asked.

"They died" he replied.

"Oh" you sighed.

"Are you alright with jasmine tea? It's the only tea we have left" he asked.

"Yes that's fine" you replied.

"Found it!" Gelato exclaimed as he re-entered the room.

"Found what?" You asked.

"Is it any of your business?" He hissed which caused you to tense up.

"I'm just kidding, no need to be such a nervous Nelly" he chuckled before sitting on the sofa opposite yours. Sorbet soon joined and placed three cups of tea with a couple of scones paired with several savoury and sweet fillings to the side of the tray.

"Thanks Honey" Gelato cooed as he wrapped his arms around Sorbet and gave him a quick kiss before pulling away.

"If we're going to help you (Y/n) you need to tell us what's going on" Sorbet said as he slumped down onto the sofa before picking up one of the scones and smothering it with cottage cheese.

"It's really hard to explain" you said as you picked up a scone and piled on some cherry jam and whipped cream.

Gelato then leaned into Sorbet's ear and whispered something inaudible into his ear. Sorbet nodded in response.

"Is it somehow related to the stories that surround this building?" Gelato asked.

"What stories?" You asked.

"Oh do you not know the stories about several young girls vanishing over the years" Sorbet asked.

"No, I haven't..." You replied before taking a bite.

"Well you know the previous owner of the section of the house you live in" he began

"Not really... My parents never told her that I was living with them" you explained.

"No wonder she let your parents buy the house, if she'd known that you were living with them she wouldn't have sold it to them, not even for two million!" Gelato exclaimed.

"Well her name Maria and she use to have a twin sister called Donatella. As teenagers they moved into the house with the rest of their family" Sorbet continued.

"From what we know Donatella was always in her twins shadow and had a distant relationship with the rest of her family, apparently she had met a man of the other side of the door in the lounge room" Gelato said. Your eye widened with shock as you sipped your tea. You weren't the only one.

"And after a few months she disappeared. Her parents thought that she'd ran away but Maria had a feeling that it had something to do with that door and that happened fifteen years ago" Sorbet continued before sipping his tea.

"That isn't the first time a female teenager to young adult has disappeared either, there are two more known cases that date back to the beginning of this places history and the original blueprints for the house never included that door in the design" Gelato said.

"You guys must have a lot of time on your hands" you commented as you took another bite out of your scone.

"We're investigators, it's just what we do" Sorbet said as he shrugged.

"Wow I would have never thought you guys would be working for the police" you said with doubt. Gelato gave you a smirk before saying "He never said we worked for the police"

His sinister comment sent shivers down your spine. If they knew this much about the house itself then you would hate to know how much they knew about you.

You took another sip of your tea to ease your nerves.

"(Y/n)" Gelato called to get your attention once more.

"What?" You asked.

"As a young female who's probably going through struggles of independence with your parental units you'd be quite the target for such a thing" Gelato stated.

"And what are you implying?" You hissed.

"Have you had any experience with that door? Can you tell us what lies beyond perhaps?" Gelato asked you.

"No..." You replied as you took one last sip of tea, only leaving a small amount of tea in in the cup as there were to many leaves.

"Fine then... Keep your secrets" he huffed.

"What on earth are you talking about?" You said in a cynical tone.

"You're such a liar but I'll just pretend I don't know and not give you any help" he smirked, causing your face to screw up in annoyance.

"Aww to hell with it!" He said as he tossed something at you and it landed perfectly on your lap. Looked down to see a leather necklace with a circular jade pendant with a hole in the middle.

"What is this?" You asked.

"It's a family heirloom and it's supposed to help guide and protect me but it hasn't done jackshit for me" he said in a voice full of sarcasm.

"But I'm sure it'll do you more good then it ever did for me" he continued.

"Are you sure? I mean it's a part of your family history and if you had kids... Wouldn't you want to pass it down to them" you said.

"Nah... I'm never having kids, I can't stand them. At least I know you'll use it" he replied as he finally took a sip from his tea before screwing his face up.

"Damn it the went cold" he hissed.

"I'll get you another one" Sorbet said as he stood up and grabbed his cup and was about to grab yours before stating.

"The leaves in your tea have formed a rather strange cluster"

He picked up your cup and inspected it.

"It looks like a hand" he said.

"Wait let me see!" Gelato exclaimed as he stood up and also had a look.

"No it looks more like a giraffe" he retorted.

"I think it's a sign of danger" Sorbet said.

"No I think it's a sign that she'll meet a tall, handsome man!" Gelato yelled which began a heated but definitely not relationship breaking argument on what your future may hold.

For awhile you watched the two men bicker at each other while eating the rest of your scone. Eventually the argument went completely off topic and that's when you decided to make your leave with a couple of scones in hand.

🌌🌌🌌

When you arrived home you felt exhausted. You sigh as you walk through the hallway but as soon as you passed the loungeroom a faint scratching could be heard you walked in to try and find out what it was, I grew louder and louder as you got closer to it.

It was from the other side of the door. You then heard Doppio sobbing and muttering your name and how he wanted you to come back to him.

"Please open the door... Please let me see you again... Please love me" he whined.

"No! There is no way I'm opening the door for a crazy bastard like you!" You yelled as you kicked the door.

For a moment everything went silent. Then the he started to bang on the door in an aggressive manner.

"You will! You will! You have no other choice!" A deep, sinister voice yelled which caused you to fall back in horror.

"It's inevitable! You will come back!" He continued. This wasn't the Doppio you had known previously. Whoever this new person was had such a sinister desire to have you.

In fear you quickly scrambled into the kitchen. Your heart raced in fear and your eyes nearly full of tears.

'What is happening?' you thought to yourself as you grabbed out your phone and rang your mother again. You then heard the faint tune of your mother's ringtone ghostly echoing though the house.

You followed the melody, humming softly to it as you roamed the house to find it.

The creak of the old wooden floor followed your every step as you made you way up stairs. The ringtone silenced and your mother's voice played on the on your phone and despite it being a simple line of her saying that's she's unavailable and to leave a message at the tone you still felt some warmth in he static voice.

You hung up and called again, you then realised where the phone was. You ran into your parents bedroom in hopes that they were in a deep sleep but there was no one. You examined the room for any sign of her phone. A dull glow from under the bed caught your eye before it disappeared.

Your mother's message played once more and you hung up before you laid down and dove your hand under the bed. You felt around for a minute or so until you felt the cold screen of your mother's phone however it layed on top of a unfamiliar object which you decided to grab as well.

Once you saw it your heart fell into your stomach and your guys churned in horror at the disfigured doll that shared different traits to both your parent's. You threw it across the room and screamed.

Doppio... That danm Doppio... What had he done to your parent's. You began to cry as you knew that this was your fault. You should of just listened to them and just left the door alone, then all this mess would never of happened.

"Why do I mess up everything!" You sobbed as you held the pendent that you had received only moments ago.

For what seemed like forever you just cried until you felt soft fur brush up against you. You looked up to see the fluffy white cat named Leone, by his collar that is.

In the otherworld he could talk and insists that you call him Abbaccio. He wasn't the most friendliest of cat's as a matter of fact he was a real grumpy cat but beside the time he threatened to piss on your shoes for pelting him with a stone (which was a total accident) but besides that he was no real trouble.

He let out a long deep meow and tapped his paw on your back.

"Quit it Leone!" You hissed as you pushed him away, which led to him letting out the most startling hiss while scratching you on the back.

"Oww! You fucking bastard!" You yelled as you sat up and glared at the cat. He then meowed again, which you could only assume that it translated into 'that's what you get for disrespecting your elders'.

"What is it?" You asked him with slight annoyance in your tone as you dried your tears. He then picked up the doll with his mouth and walked to the door frame and waved his tail. You stood up and began to follow him through the upstairs hallway.

He led you to a mirror before dropping the doll.

"What's going on?" You asked before seeing two figures appearing in the mirror. Two familiar faces pleading for your help.

"Mom! Dad!" You yelled as you ran up to the mirror and touched the cold, reflective surface.

"Don't worry I'll save you!" You yelled. They replied but no words could be heard. Slowly they started to fade.

"Just hold on!" You yelled as your hand clenched into a first before punching the wall.

"That danm Doppio!" You screamed in anger as you continued to pound the wall with your fist until Abbaccio got up on two feet and pushed onto your leg, giving you a nonverbal cues to cut it out.

"Fine... Fine..." You hissed as you picked up the cursed doll and marched downstairs to the lounge room and tossed the firewood into the fireplace with some old newspaper before lighting a match and tossing it in.

You then threw the doll in it. You watched as the doll slowly blackened before being swollowed by the flames. Tears streamed down your face as you came to realisation of what you had to do.

🌌🌌🌌

#jojos bizarre adventure #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo #jojo part 5 #yandere x reader #yandere jjba #yandere #doppio x reader #vinegar doppio #diavolo #diavolo x reader #coraline au #spacy works

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wizardhecker · 4 years

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ollie’s book rec list

hey y’all i got libby this last year and its expanded my reading a bunch. I talked about what books I liked on twitter earlier but I wanted to move that over here. These books aren’t in order of preference, just when I read them. I’ll probably be updating this list throughout the year as well.

Stuff I loved:

Gideon the Ninth- Tamsyn Muir: Probably my favorite book from this year, I’m eagerly awaiting for the sequel. WAs everything I wanted in a book, witty and clever. Lesbian necromancer and buff swordgirl end up taking part in a contest that entangles them in murder and mysteries. Its sci-fi but not hard sci-fi and sticks mostly to one planet. I’m witholding judgement on the ending until I read the second book because I have some conflicting feelings about it. Tags: F/F romance, bones, so many bones, Sci-fi, mystery

Ancillary Justice - Ann Leckie: Told from the perspective of a ship AI that was once many different ancillaries. The story jumps back and forth between the present where she inhabits one body and the past to how that came to occur. It was super unique and engaging. I’ve seen this on a few lists for LGBT content which maybe there is in later books but that tag comes from the the ship AI being confused by gender since her language just uses “she/her” pronouns for everything. Therefor, yes technically any romances that occur are queer because every single character is referred to via she/her. I love language stuff like that though. Theres so many details that I was deeply fascinated by. Tags: sci fi, space politics, clones, unique perspective.

The Raven Tower - Ann Leckie: Similar to her other book above, she plays with storytelling and narrator perspective. This is from the perspective a god who is a giant rock and switches between past and present. It was a bit slow at first, as it is a rock telling the story, but its well worth it and the ending was so fulfilling. I REALLY enjoyed the world building, everything felt neatly crafted as piece by piece the machine comes together and turns slowly. The protagonist human is also explicitely trans. Tags: politics, fantasy, god wars, trans protagonist.

Swordspoint - Ellen Kushner: An older book, but focuses around the politics of a city where swordsmen fromt he lower city are hired to fight for the aristocrats in the higher city. Follows the best swordsman and his [insufferable] scholar boyfriend, but switches perspectives a lot. Its fun, I might reread it. Tags: heavy politics, aristocrat bullshit, M/M romance, swordfighting!

Kings of the Wild - Nicholas Eames: This book read Very much like someone’s first classic D&D campaign, for better or for worse. I Loved it because the heart, passion, and sincerety put into it was so palpable and it feels like a campaign where everyone comes in with goofy joke characters and then midway through they get Really into it and suddenly everyone’s crying because that joke backstory they made has implications. Its about a bunch of retired legendary old men adventurers who get called back for one more job - to rescue the leader’s daughter. Tags: Sad old men, good fathers, fantasy, gay wizard, tabletop inspired.

Bloody Rose - Nicholas Eames: The sequel to the previous book (though it could be read alone). It really goes into more depth and analyzes some of the previous worldbuilding more, pulling apart some of the problems in the world that were swept away previously. I liked it slightly less but its still very good. It follows a bard joining up with an adventuring band to fight a...dragon? Maybe. Tags: F/F romance, are monsters people, necromancy, dragons, fantasy.

The Golem and the Jinni - Helene Wecker: A newly made golem woman and a Djinn who was trapped for thousands of years both in up in New York City in 1900, and their paths eventually intertwine. Really amazing perspective of Jewish and Arab immigrant communities and cultures in NYC. Switches point of view through many characters in the communities who come in and out of their lives. Tags: Supernatural beings, urban fantasy, historical.

The Monster of Elendhaven - Jennifer Giesbrecht: Very short book I read in one sitting about terrible evil men doing terrible evil things. One of them is unkillable, the other one is sorcerer and theyre tied together through a dark fate to destroy the world. I was deeply into the mythology and the way everything wove together. You know I’m a sucker for weird god stuff and I was provided for. Uhh trigger warning for a lot of stuff here, graphic violence, sexual assault, etc. Tags: Evil stuff, magic, dark mythology and folklore, capitalism, revenge plots.

The Black God’s Drums - P. Djeli Clark: Another short one read in one sitting, set in an alternate post-civil war setting New Orleans where a girl has a Goddess of storms living inside her. Tags: alternate history, bi protagonist, gods and goddesses.

The Claidi Journals - Tanith Lee: So this was a reread of a kind of obscure series I read when I was a kid and I immensely enjoyed. Caveat that it is a young-adult series but it was such a fascinating and vibrant blend of fantasy magic and sci-fi, there’s little blend between the magic and technology of the realm. It’s about terrible families doing terrible things and the women who got accidentally caught up in it. It also has one of the most interesting women characters I’ve ever read who doesn’t even appear much in the books but whose legacy impacts every character. Tags: Science fantasy, aristocrat bullshit, bad moms, hetero but chill.

Mixed Feelings:

Uprooted - Naomi Novik: Reclusive wizard who holds an evil forest at bay takes on an apprentice girl who gets entangled in further politics of the nation. I got Really into the worldbuilding, plot, and writing of this book and it hooked me pulling me along. However I have a major frustration with it that really prevents me from putting it in the “loved” category. If I could edit out about 20 lines I’d have found it perfect. I know other folks who disagree with me though so I’ll still recomend it. Tags: wizards, nature magic, politics, grumpy tower wizard, unfortunately heterosexual.

Of Fire and Stars - Audrey Coulthurst: Lesbian princesses and arranged marriages uh oh. Ones a ranger jock the others a sorcerer. Its fine and cute, I wasn’t really happy with the antagonist reveal at the end though. Tags: Aristocrat bullshit, politics, F/F romance, arranged marriage angst, forbidden magic.

Wayward Son - Rainbow Rowell: I really enjoyed the first book of this series and found it a delightfully self-indulgent transparent Harry Potter derivation. That sort of falls apart in the second book where having to build off something that worked as a one-off just doesn’t extend to a more filled out story and left me feeling unsatisfied. But, once again, the world building is delightful and I’m charmed by the magic system and a British person’s opinion of America. Tags: M/M romance, magic, America!, roadtrip, vampires

The Last Sun - K.D. Edwards: Modern fantasy tarot inspired world building. The main character is the last remnant of the “Sun” house that was ripped apart in a terrible way. He has PTSD and is hired to find a missing man, along the way uncovering a deeper conspiracy involving his house and past. It was fine, its a good book. I just wasn’t into it that much. Also massive trigger warnings for sexual assault, torture, etc. Tags: M/M romance, mystery, gritty, magic.

Vicious - V.E. Schwab: I enjoyed it and it was a short quick read, but for some reason I’ve never been able to get into V.E. Schwab much. Not sure why. Man with power over pain is released from prison and seeks vengeance on his former friend who put him there - who is now a superhero, and adopts a young girl necromancer in the process. Tags: villains, everyone is evil, superpowers, modern, necromancy, unwilling father figure

The City Stained Red - Sam Sykes: I really just started skimming while reading this one tbh. Trash man swordfighter and his disfunctional adventuring party trying to collect their payment in a terrible city. It felt like someone’s D&D campaign but in the worst way where everyone is an edgelord dark backstory. I honestly didn’t like a single character. But, that’s fine it just wasn’t for me. I see this get put on lists for having a bi-character. Which I guess technically but I wasn’t a huge fan of how that became relevant. Tags: tabletop inspired but insecure about it, gritty, terrible city, terrible people, bi protagonist

#i also read a bunch of stuff i hated and almost put on here to warn folks away #just get a goodreads account olivia #books #lgbt books #ill talk about any of these in further depth #gideon the ninth #claidi journals #if youve read the claidi journals please talk to me about them

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thirtheenprimes · 4 years

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Just found out that people really hate Hazbin Hotel and I'm not sure why. I mean, I've read reasons (apparently the creator may or may not have been terrible in the past, even that I am seeing wildly mixing takes on, and alligations of characters being horrible stereotypes) but I really don't get it. I've watched the piolet plenty and the music video 'Addicted' and the spinoff(?) 'Helluva Boss', but I don't fully understand where people are getting so much hatred from.

It is an adult cartoon. Upfront, they have free reign to be blunt and brass and not tip toe around things like cartoons for kids do. I.E. They can have a porn star who, you know, likes sex. They can have shitty people who exist in real life without trying to redeem them, which is sort of the point of the show, as it is. The characters are supposed to be unredeemable.

It takes place in hell. As in, the whole unredeemable thing I mentioned? That's the point. Katie Killjoy being homophobic, well, she's an antagonist, and she is in hell. TBH, having a homophobic bitch for Charlie to throw fists with like that was satisfying.

As for the stereotypes? I really don't see it. If it were made for the homophobe's eyes, I could maybe see it, a bit, but it isn't. As a queer chin deep in my own local queer community, this show is queer culture. Angle Dust, the femme gay who likes sex? *chefs kiss* Gay culture, very satisfying, 10/10. I'm ace so I don't jam with his sex jokes, but I got me some buddies who relate on a whole 'inner demon, Saturday night drunken vibing' level, which is really what I think this show is about. They aren't people, their demons, like inner demons? Idk, I don't see the stereotype because whether a stereotype exists or not, there are some people it reflects and no matter how miniscule, they're there. Not saying that stereotypes are right, just that you can be so anti-stereotype that you throw some real people under the bus.

As for Vaggie? The raging-latino-man-hating-lesbian? Idk what cartoon you were watching, but that girl is trying to protect her girlfriend from their first customer ruining her dreams and who is potentially the most powerful demon in hell who is known to screw people over by making deals. I just saw a demon (again, they are in hell for a reason) trying to protect her girlfriend.

(Also Alaster is canon asexual and I love that)

Honestly, this show vibes with my gay-culture group so well that calling it homophobic or transphobic (where did that one even come from?) makes me sad. Honestly, if there is some more convincing evidence other than he-said-she-said, point me to it.

I just want to enjoy some disfunctional gays in hell for reasons that all clearly have nothing to do with their being gay.

#Hazbin hotel #alastor #Charlie #Princess of hell #Vaggie #Katie killjoy #Angle dust #I just wanted to find some hazbin hotel fan art #Instead I find people so hateful toward it for reasons I fundimentally disagree with #It is so obviously made for the queer community to vibe with not to give positive representation to leave a good impression on homophobes

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maleenhancementmd · 4 years

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premature ejaculation teen boy

Contents

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old-older-than-dead · 5 years

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I hate crowley/аziraphale shippers. SOME posts on tumblr r funny (i even liked em), but really it's a sick shit for me as fan of the book & as pratchett's fan.

Once I was told that my opinion is homophobic only because I feel like deep original is attact by obsessed teenage perverts. This is soooo stupid defence, because I actually can take the same way to accuse any shipper — every noncanon gayship has potential to stigmatize gays just as sexual kink or something like that. You can say I've got no right to talk this way because I'm not an actual gaymale, but that would be the so very childish excuse. Arguments don't have sexual orientation. Especially if this one is an irony.

Neil and Terry made sharpy sarcastic remark on religion itself, its dogmas, on corporative society, on why humanity is overrated and, simultaneously, valued, on capitalism, corruption and bureaucracy, & lots of other themes by putting on top of every single subj friendship dilemmas, representing to readers two different complex persons who have obligations to their «jobs» and who faced with necessity to being judgmental about places they kinda belong to and The Place They Genuinely Belong To™.

I haven't met Neil closer than Good Omens and Coraline, but I know Terry's books for about 12 years, and I'm in love with his humorous&philosophic style, everything he wrote is endowed with touching cordiality, wit and wisdom. This is what Good Omens feels like. Sincere, honest, wise and in the same time funny — in the accurate way of making you smile while actually making you lost in deep and sometimes dark thoughts. Yes, there're jokes here and there, lots of jokes, but well you know, jesting may come to earnest.

This book is asking you: «are you making a good choice right now?». «Good Omens» invites into moral discussion being a simple story about good people doing good things they believe in.

And here goes a bunch of little pieces of shit that can't do anything but fantasize about mm sex. :))))) Great aint it?

Month (+/-) ago I was very mad at c/a-ship fandom, but then I tried to calm down and even convinced myself that it's fine. I'm okay with that, I replied to myself. I'm okay. I'm above disputes afterall. And duh I do not argue with anyone even with friends. And just today I asked with a gentle manner not to joking about pairing and I get an understanding feedback what brings me to think. To think WHY I HAVE TO TOLERATE WITH MY KINDA CLOSE FRIEND WHO KNOWS HOW IMPORTANT THIS STUFF FOR ME WITHOUT GETTING THE SAME TREATMENT? JUST BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY TEMPER AND GET MORE ANGRY MEANWHILE AGGRESSIVELY EXPLAIN OBVIOUS THINGS? I'm okay i'm loughing off i'm 2 cool 4 dumb shit... Till I got understanding from someone who knows me for about several months. If this person can do this why others can not? Is it a disfunction of brain or what?

I'm not obligating every shipper to understand me, bc most of you are just nonames for me (as much as I am a noname for you). I am not obligating every shipper to delve into the depth of Good Omens creation and relationship between Crowley and Aziraphale — which is beyond fluffy making out because it is basing on thousands more deep levels of mutual respect and devotion. Okay, not everyone could get the concept of two males without sexualising them. It's just my soul scream, because anytime my friends mention their clearly more accurate understanding of characters, I feel like any of this human's puke spits into my stingy callous heart, and it would be nice to shit on their faces, but ofc I won't do that (even figuratively), because beautiful pure and clever masterpiece doesn't deserve to be connected with low vengeful actions. U know, I don't want to betray something I love so much.

But maybe there are other people feel the way I do. Guys, if you are there, I FEEL YOU BC I FEEL THE SAME.

#good omens series #good omens fandom #good omens #crowley/aziraphale #crowley #aziraphale #david tennant #michael sheen

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ohmydavidbowie · 6 years

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TBC

Two rules.Two obvious, simple, easy rules.

That's all Debbie Ocean had in mind - along with all the excitement that kept making a shiver go down her spine - whenever she performed a new heist.

Just two rules: 1. don't fall in love, and 2. don't get caught.

Unfortunately, breaking rules was something she enjoyed just as much as stealing things.

Five years in prison gave her plenty of time to plan and think and think and plan again until her brain would claim for some sleep and in her sleep she would dream about what later she would start calling The Perfect Heist.

It always started the same way: Debbie getting out of prison, Lou waiting for her outside with her exaggerated motorcycle and her exaggerated smile. They would go and steal an incredible amount of jewelry - which had nothing to do with Debbie but everything to do with Lou - and live a happy life together as the best friends they were.

Drinking, smoking weed, fighting everyday but still never letting go of each other, exactly like the two grandmas with gay ex-husbands from a show she started watching in prison but never got to finish because she had to trade the cellphone for tampons.

In her dream it was always just the two of them. The two against the world. But of course in real life things changed a little.

Not that she didn't like the girls, she loved them. She learned how to appreciate each one of them for what they were, with their virtues and flaws.

Amita was the yin and the yang. At the same time she was the most focused on the group, she was also one of the funniest. Debbie couldn't stop laughing for a whole hour when Rose told the squad about the French situation when they went to scan the necklace.

Speaking of Rose, Debbie didn't recall meeting someone that pure during her entire life. Of course she wasn't stupid or dumb or something like that. She was a mature woman who knew what she was doing but at the same time she was innocent, somehow. Something Daphne totally wasn't.

Daphne was like the 13 years old sister Debbie never had, except she was almost in her thirties. She loved listening to loud music, she loved having sex and she knew exactly what she was getting into when she decided to join the group. At first Debbie was skeptical, but she grew fond to the girl.

Just as she grew fond to Nine Ball. She was quiet and spent most of her time hacking stuff and listening to music in many different languages. She would go from Arabian songs to an annoying Korean thing (sis, it's called K-POP and it's NOT annoying, she would say) in minutes and she could sing all of them. Perfectly.

Constance was funny. She was an orphan who grew up trying to make the most of herself but ended up on the streets. It didn't make her less than anyone though. The reason she kept cheating on street games was because she wanted enough money to pursuit her dream of becoming a famous YouTuber (it IS a thing, Debbie, shut up) and getting enough money to help young girls on the same condition she went through. She wanted to be known and she wanted to be known by doing great things.

Which was totally unlike Tammy, the person she slept with countless times but was never brave enough to call her girlfriend. She was smart and probably the only one in the group who could pass for normal - if you call normal being married and having two kids and living in the suburbs while keeping your garage filled with stolen stuff. Tammy never wanted this but that's how she ended up. Debbie never forgot about how after the fifth orgasm Tammy would say things like "I wanna run away with you and live the wildest life ever".

A wild life. Much like Lou's.

She has known Lou since their early twenties and she never crossed anyone like her short-haired best friend. Lou Miller was born in Australia and moved to the USA when she was just a kid, their parents were both artists and thought America would give them better opportunities.

Their expectations weren't met though.

Lou's mother - Grace - started working as a barista while her father - Hugh - decided to follow the easier but wrong way, becoming a drug dealer. The money started coming but it didn't last much: he got murdered two years after they moved to New York, just not before turning Patricia's life a living hell.

When Lou was 15 she started arguing with her mother about her never mentioning Hugh or trying to avoid the subject when someone brought him up. Her mom said she didn't owe her any explanations and Lou said she was being a bitch. For the first time in her life Lou got punched in the face - and it was definitely not the last.

When Lou turned 17 Patricia died in a car crash and when she turned 19 she decided to steal for the first time.

Debbie was hanging out at this downtown club trying to stay away from her disfunctional family at least for a couple of hours when she felt a hand trying to reach inside her purse. She turned around just in time to see a blonde heading to the exit as fast as she could.

When the blonde was about to reach the door, Debbie held her arm, turning the girl to face her.

"Give it back", she said.

Lou just stared at her.

"And don't try to run, I'm fast."

Lou moved like she was going to return Debbie her purse, but she pushed her instead and started running.

Thing is, Debbie was indeed fast. And strong.

Lou ran to an alley and when she thought the brunette lost her track, she got slammed against the wall, her right cheek facing the cold material while her hands were trapped on her back.

"I told you I was fast, blondie."

Debbie got her purse back and was about to scream for help when the blonde took a deep, deep breath.

"Please, don't."

Debbie watched her closely, still holding her hands.

"Why shouldn't I?", Debbie asked.

"First, you can't prove I stole anything. Second, you're the one holding me with your leg between mine. Not that I'm complaining, just move a little to the righ-" Debbie kicked her.

"Ouch, ok, I'm sorry. I'm just saying - you're the one keeping me as some kind of hostage. I don't think people will buy that an angelic face like mine would steal anything from anyone".

Debbie rolled her eyes.

"You've got some balls, huh?"

"Ew, no. I don't. But thank you, I guess."

Debbie started to slowly release Lou's hands, allowing the girl to face her. "Don't do anything stupid."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Don't call me that, you're probably my age", Debbie said.

"But you're definitely not dressed as someone your age. What's the deal?"

"I... It's complicated", Debbie started.

"I have all night, pretty".

And that was the first night they spent together, talking about life until the sun started making its appearance.

The brunette bought them a beer and Debbie - the sweet, smart, she-would-never-do-this Debbie - couldn't believe she was hanging out with someone who had just tried to steal her purse. Still, Louise - that was her name - was something else.

She wasn't like the girls Debbie knew: the ones with perfect hair and perfect clothes and perfect boyfriends and perfect families. She was different.

Her hair was beautiful - blonde and short - and looked amazing moving with the wind - but it was far from perfect. If anything, it was perfectly messy.

Her clothes were very stylish but obviously second-handed and her jacket had a "vagitarian" button on it which meant she either liked girls or she had bought that from someone with spelling problems.

When Debbie asked her about her family, she said she didn't want to talk about it - and then Debbie knew her family was fucked up. She didn't want talk about hers either.

In the end, it was only a matter of time until their late night meetings became a regular thing. At least three times a week they would hang out together and do whatever they felt like doing. Debbie thought the first month would be at least weird since they were pretty much opposites but that wasn't what happened.

With Lou everything felt... easy. So she opened up. She told her everything. She spoke about college and about how she wanted to be known for doing great things and about how her entire family expected her to do better than her brother. "He's the black sheep", Debbie said with the drag of a cigarette Lou offered her, "you have to be everything he's not - it's what my parents say. As if they were in position to say anything", she rolled her eyes.

"They think I'm a saint. Or at least that's what they expect me to be."

"But you're not, are you?", Lou bite her lip.

"No, I'm not", and another drag.

"My mom isn't much of a bad person to be honest. She's just overwhelming, you know? Being around her sometimes is just... too much. She wants everything her way and she can get extremely mad when things go out of hand. Her greatest sin is being controlling and that's something I can deal with. My father on the other hand is unbearable. He cheats on my mom and she knows it. He's never sober. He finds a way to criticize everything I do because it's never good enough. I'm never good enough."

"Danny was a good kid once. His grades were amazing and he always had this charm that could get him anything he wanted. He could have had an easy life but he hated easy things. So he started stealing things and when he was twenty-two my father kicked him out from home because he almost got arrested. He said he didn't raise Danny to become a little thief."

"But before that? He would allow him to do anything he wanted to - and he's only two years older than me. He could bring girls home and he could stay out until late." "Meanwhile I'm can't drink, I can't smoke, I can't date, I can't even fucking sit the way I want to. If he knew I was swearing, for example, he would... God knows what he would do."

"Has he ever-"

"Hurted me? No. But only because - as you know - I'm fast."

Lou touched her arm.

"If he ever lays a finger on you, I'm gonna kick his ass".

"My saviour", Debbie smiled.

And that's how it went for a while. Debbie and Lou spending time together and Lou getting to know everything about Debbie while the brunette would try to make the other talk.

She wouldn't though.

"So what about a bucket list?"

"A bucket list?"

"Yep, a list with stuff you haven't done and you'd like to do before, you know, dying or something."

"Uhm, I don't know..."

"Come on, I can help you with that."

"Okay, what do you suggest?"

"For starters... How many items do you wanna add?"

"No idea. How many do you suggest?"

"Ten? Then you can add more later if you feel like-"

"Okay, ten" Debbie gave it a thought. "I wanna get a tattoo."

"Right, I have some friends who can get it done."

Debbie gave her a suspiscious look but went on.

"Right. I wanna learn another language."

"That's easy, I can also help with that"

Ialso wanna learn how to ride a motorcycle."

Lou gave her the biggest smile.

"I can teach you."

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