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johannesviii · 3 years

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This is a long post about Shaman King I started to write ages ago and I don’t have a good title for it

Let me tell you about Shaman King for a few minutes, okay. Because the new anime adaptation is coming in like 3 months and I’m still not ready for it. Also I started to write this post 5 years ago just because I re-read the whole thing at the time and it’s been in my drafts since then. Oops

But yeah Shaman King was the very first fandom I got into when I first had a real internet access, around 2003-2004. I was around fifteen. The manga was still going. And in retrospect, it was full of problems. Among other things:

Not enough female characters & questionable choices for most of the ones who actually have a part to play in the plot

A black character drawn with big lips (see above), and I REALLY HOPE this is gonna get fixed in the new anime ; I mean even the author stopped drawing him like that a few years ago when he did the “remix tracks” extra chapters so come on please

An imaginary native american tribe who, while pretty cool, is still imagined by a Japanese dude in 1999 soooo yeah there’s some rough corners here and there (edit: got some anon hate about that but I'm sorry, "ancient aliens" tropes always make me uncomfortable)

An art quality which gets worse and worse over time due to deadline pressures and an increasingly exhausted author

Was stopped before it could reach its natural conclusion (the author drew an actual ending years later and tbh it’s great so I’m putting this very low on the list)

So yeah. Manga from 1999. Problematic. Aged badly. It happens.

BUT.

In retrospect, most of it is such a kick in the metaphorical butt of shonen manga as a whole I can’t believe it was competing against Naruto and One Piece at some point?? Like

It’s a shonen so it plays the "dramatic and sudden power jump” game, but it uses it to reach a surprising conclusion (in the “new” ending I mean)

Most of the characters are “shamans” which means they can see ghosts and spirits, and they use them to fight, to work, or to help other people. This is a manga in which you’re gonna see a Russian shaman channeling a Vodyanoy spirit into a drum to create a torrential flood. You don’t see that in every manga

It’s stated right away that no shaman can be truely, irredeemably bad, because only good-natured people can see ghosts and spirits.

So, no matter how bad a villain may be, they must have had a good nature once even if they look like a complete bastard at the moment.

How far is the author willing to go with that concept? Pretty far

Even without talking about the main villain and how the story ends because, duh, spoilers... Like

My favorite character, who gets a full redemption arc later, cuts someone open in his first chapter

He’s one of the good guys 10 volumes later

Speaking of which the amount of gore in this manga has to be seen to be believed, Jump would never let this happen nowadays

If you’re wondering why this is in the “positive” (......?) list it’s because I was 14/15 and all kids that age crave blood and angst

The main character, Yoh, pictured above, is very laid-back, and I mean very. He listens to the in-world equivalent of Bob Marley and constantly wears big headphones. Also he wears sandals, and sometimes there’s a weed leaf drawn on his t-shirt

His parents arranged a mariage between him and a girl shaman even though they’re still teenagers, so this would have potential for High Drama - but surprisingly enough it turns out they like each other and after that he just goes around saying “this is my future wife” and she’s like “hello if you touch him I’m going to end you”

It sounds weird and it......... is, tbh, but it’s also refreshing among all the “ugh, girls, yuck” tropes that nearly all shonen mangas used to have at the time

Yoh’s main goal in life is to live with minimal effort

When his grandfather tells him he must train to participate in a shaman tournament which happens every 500 years, because the winner gets a wish granted by the Great Spirit, he decides his wish will be to make everybody’s life easy so that nobody will ever be forced to work or do shit they don’t want to do to survive anymore

Yoh Asakura is a Millenial icon don’t @ me

Speaking of which

Almost everyone in this series is broke as f█ck

Yoh owns a big house but that’s only because the price was ridiculously low since it’s the most haunted place in Tokyo and nobody else wants to live there. The house is constantly full of other characters (including enemies) who have literally nowhere else to go

The only important character who isn’t broke has money because his family is super rich but he hates all of them because they’re all bastards so it’s super awkward

Another character bought a really cool motorbike but he’s going to be in debt for the next 40 years

Also he’s a hobo

And also bi

What I’m trying to say is: relatable

Also the tournament is held by an imaginary Native American tribe. They’re also broke. All of them. The two judges who are in charge of the main characters live in a cramped appartment and often try to sell souvenirs in the street to pay the rent

I know that’s hashtag problematic but I still love them I can’t help it

Just like in most shonen mangas the hero seems to amass a big collection of Friends but since everyone is a weirdo in a way or another and comes from all over the world it looks even funnier

At some point during the tournament, the main characters have to form small groups of three in order to participate to the next part. Yoh’s team is one of the strongest teams among the ones we’ve met at this point, and is composed of 1) Yoh, a laid-back sleepy kid wearing toilet sandals 2) the aforementioned bi hobo who’s sad because his current crush is in a rival team, and 3) a thirty-something tatooed guy with no legs and an IV drip and who looks like he hasn’t slept since 1997

Oh and they all wear adds for a bath house

Because remember: everyone’s f█cking broke

Spoilers for the mid-point of the manga but I need to talk about it because it encapsulates everything I used to love in it

You’ve been warned

At some point the main character, Yoh, is asked to choose between staying in the tournament or resurrect his rival

This is framed as some kind of very heavy, very huge dilemma. Like oh no what will he do. Will he give up his dreams and hopes. Will You Push The Button(tm)

So the choice is presented to him

In a very dramatic way

And he immediately goes “there’s a way to save him?? YES PLEASE”

He doesn’t hesitate a single second and drops the tournament in a heartbeat to save the guy

This scene greatly contributed to make me a better person I’m not even joking at all

I love Yoh

So anyway I don’t have a proper conclusion for this

Shaman King is very flawed and its flaws need to be acknowledged to fully appreciate all the good things in it, and the “old” fandom from more than 15 years ago was a very good formative experience for me because the forum I was on (which was nuked from the face of the internet by a hacker “looking for training grounds” (his words not mine, he posted it on our frontpage a full week before he did it) in 2005, rip) was full of people who were really into criticising every little aspect of the manga but still loved it dearly

And I think that’s a healthy way to enjoy things and I think we should bring this back

Anyway

Shaman King extremely flawed but full of good things

I still can’t believe it’s back

Johannes out

#long post #shaman king #spoilers #mild gore in written form at some point

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artificialqueens · 3 years

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Cause Though the Truth May Vary, This Ship Will Carry (Gigi/Nicky) - Campvanjie

AN: Based on the prompt: “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” - “Well, you shouldn’t be saying it then.” A slight AU Gigi/Nicky, little bit of unrequited crushing and a lot of fate, originally posted to my old AO3 account on May 24th, 2020. Edited as well to add non-binary pronouns for Gigi out of drag, as the original used male pronouns. Don’t worry, I’m the original author and only want all of my stories collected under one pen name.

Summary: Nicky and Gigi strike up a friendship online, but just can’t meet until the time’s exactly right.

CW: slight mentions of homophobia.

The sun’s almost setting on an August day when Gigi flicks through the games in their library, bored of sniping enemies from rooftops, set on finding something else that has a competitive mode, kicking underneath the bed to find their headset. It would probably be best to at least try to talk to other people, and maybe even count up all the times people call each other gay without even realizing they’re talking to someone, who’s made sixteen dollars an hour dressing up as a girl and working at the rock climbing wall for all of high school.

There’s gay, and then there’s Gigi Goode; with a closet hanging full of custom couture, not that they’d ever admit to their mom that her work isn’t the worst.

There’s only one player in the team’s group chat, as Gigi adjusts their headset so they can talk into the mic.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

“Hi!”, laughs the voice in his headphones; crackling as Gigi shoots and blows apart a box in the game’s lobby. There’s an accent there he can’t quite place, not that it matters so much, since the guy on the other end easily guides him through the map and even cracks a couple of jokes as one of the other team’s players is booted off a cliff. Maybe he’s Spanish, or Russian, since there are lot of Russian people on the server at this time of almost- night.

They queue for another round, his player’s character stopping next to a poster of one of the girls in the game.

“I like her, do you?”, he asks, and Gigi cringes a little. Straight guys were fucking exhausting, but this was just embarrassing-

“Like, this coat, with the belt like this, makes her waist look like she is a wasp. The insect, not the white people.”, he keeps talking, and Gigi’s eyes widen a little.

“Yeah, I’d buy those boots.”, they joke, hoping that whoever it is, will take it in stride, and he won’t have to listen to someone who’d been cool for the past half an hour, suddenly start losing their mind over how gay that was to say out loud.

“The boots? I want this hair- I want just Mortal Kombat hair but like this color, and maybe instead of a gun I want the scepter, like Sailor Jupiter. You’ve seen that, yes?”

Gigi blinks a couple of times. He’s serious?

“Like, of course. Yeah.”

“She’s a Mugler bitch. Hm, aren’t you?”, the voice teases on the other end; kicking at one of the boxes in the game.

Gigi is silent, as their queue timer runs out, and their team join another game which is already active when they’re dropped in.

“It’s the Hermes winter collection.”

“What?”

“That jacket is a dupe from the Hermes winter collection. You said Mugler-”, Gigi repeats, blasting through a wall in the game.

“Oh- oh you’re saying- this past winter! Of course! Maybe someone on the design team is also a fan?”

“Maybe.”

The two of them finish the round, and Gigi eagerly hits yes; when a little box pops up to add TheNickyDoll to their friends list.

(Gigi adds him back on Discord, too- because they’re probably not taking the Xbox to college, and then, they can send pictures right away.

He’s not a serial killer, and he’s cute.

Gigi can’t help but wonder if Nicky thinks the same of them.)

They slowly knit together in between Gigi’s first semester, and when Nicky moves into a new apartment in the eleventh arrondissement in Paris, and pops a bottle of champagne against his camera on his phone, propped up in his new kitchen. He plays with the zipper on his hoodie, and Gigi still can’t help but be surprised with how simple his wardrobe is.

Gigi spends hours carefully curating their wardrobe, though they supposed in Europe, there were just better pickings.

“Don’t you have friends?”, Gigi jokes, shirtless against the white brick walls of their dorm.

“Everyone will be over later, but I just wanted to do a toast for your timezone. It will be like three am for you when everyone else gets off work.”

“So this is a private party? Well… okay let me get my card.”

“Seriously? Not that kind of party!”

“Didn’t say it was. Congratulations, by the way. I got you something! Well like, I found it, and it’s so you-“

Gigi flicks the camera to face forwards, swinging to a painting hanging in the closet.

“Aw, well you didn’t have to- what the fuck is that?”

“Putin! I painted him in like the eighth grade. My mom was dropping off some stuff last weekend and I can mail him-“

Nicky’s eyebrows shoot up, pots and pans clattering on the other end of the line.

“Bitch, I am trying to not be the victim of a hate crime.”

Gigi laughs a little bit, flipping the camera back to focus on their face.

“I never asked, what do you even do?”

“What?”

“Like you- you have a job right? What’s your job?”

“Ah, I’m working, well I worked at a makeup store, but now I have some contracts, and maybe, you know- this neighborhood is where all the bars and the clubs are. If there’s no work on the runways maybe some will be looking for new girls.”

Gigi’s cheeks run hot for a moment.

“Wait, you- you’re a girl?”, they ask weakly, hoping it won’t absolutely ruin their entire… whatever it is, when you’d rather have a private housewarming alone in bed, than pretend to enjoy the beers that are flowing through the rest of the hall downstairs.

“Only when I’m being paid. Do you know- well, you have to in America you have RuPaul’s show- it’s like that-“

“You do drag? Wait, really?”

“Shhhh.”, he stops them, pressing a finger between his lips. “It’s like, I haven’t got any bookings yet but some of the clubs are interested- some of the parties, too. I can be a bottle girl.”

Gigi simply blinks repeatedly in the screen.

“What- is that too gay? I thought we were both pretty gay.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Hey-“, Gigi keeps the camera on their face, their eyes flicking up towards the naked mannequin resting against the closet door. Most of Gigi’s things were still at home, but there was a black feathered swimsuit they’d been working on- if they took out the waist just a bit-

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Wow, we are getting deep in, Dr Phil.”

“Seriously, what is it?”

“I’m feeling pink recently. Usually just- something simple. Blue. Black. It’s soothing.”

“Black is not a color.”

“Then it’s my favorite not-color.” Nicky pours from the bottle into a flute on her counter. “Get something to drink, come on.”

“Uh-“

“Doesn’t matter what. Come on!”

Gigi reaches for Red Bull, yesterday’s alcohol mixed into it, tangy and stale in the metal can.

“Okay.”

“Pace a Salute!”, Nicky cheers, and they clink their drinks against the camera.

Two months later, there’s a wrapped package on his stoop, covered in foreign postage, wet at the edges like it’s been through- what Americans would call the ringer, the labels so scratched over he can barely make out the return address, when he cuts the cardboard open on his kitchen counter.

If this was that stupid Putin painting, he was deleting Gigi from his entire life-

Inside, is fabric folded in paper, a little cloth ribbon tied around where a card is tucked in.

“I dont know what your actual skin tone is because you need better lights but merry Christmas if it doesn’t fit or doesn’t match sell it on eBay and get better lights”,

Gigi has written, in neat, large letters.

Nicky carefully unfurls the rest of it, and there’s a blue and pink bodysuit inside, accented with green and yellow panels that glitter like the facets of a diamond, and a yellow jacket, the bottom cut off just below the ribs, hemmed in thick stitches so the fabric won’t roll up.

Had Gigi gone and had this made? Or was it off the rack?, he wondered, digging for price tags and labels in the fabric.

Nothing.

Shit.

He fires off a message to Gigi, who is still showing as offline, given it’s probably six in the morning where he is.

14:17

How much is this “gift” you got me? Wtf…

FaceTime me later.

There’s predictably no response, and that night; he paints carefully in the mirror in his bedroom, laying out the little black dress he had chosen for the performance on his bed.

At the very last minute though, it’s that little suit from Gigi that wins out, nude panels sliding over his tights as he shimmies in front of the mirror.

It’s not perfect, but it all looks very nice.

When later comes, Gigi is wearing a red wig with blonde streaks that she runs her long fingers through, winking at the camera.

“My mom’s actually a professional seamstress. It didn’t cost anything, babe.”, she says with a little shrug, a tight yellow dress barely moving around his shoulders. There’s always a party here; and Gigi can’t imagine hating it more, the little college town bigger than he was used to, and yet still- too small for what she really wanted.

“If you want other stuff, I’ll send it. There’s lots of stuff that I don’t really wear anymore and we kind of have the same style. It’s not like anyone can say anything, then they’d have to admit they’ve seen me out in public. Or I could even make you something, I’m bored all the time.”

“Why are you doing this?”, Nicky asks.

“I dunno. It’s not like you’re my competition. You’re my friend.”

19:41

Anyway, I’m dropping out of school, getting a nose job and moving out to LA.

Gigi types out on their phone, underneath the table at their family’s annual thanksgiving dinner.

19:41

Maybe not all at once.

Nicky’s reply comes lightning fast- making Gigi grin.

“Are you seriously getting nudes right now?”, one of their brothers asks, and their mother glares at the both of them over the table.

“I’m getting some new sketches from my atlier in Paris.”, they seethe, glancing back down at the floor. Nicky’s been trying to teach him French, like it’s something that occupies them so that Gigi doesn’t implode; in between sending him links to his favorite shows to watch, and YouTube links to makeup tutorials.

(He still hasn’t figured out if Nicky means it; or if he’s trying to be shady, and just doesn’t know how.)

“Atlier is where you get the clothes made, dumbass. Mom’s sewing room isn’t Paris.”

“Shut up!”

“All of you just stop-”

19:43

It’s a hard time in life in general.

Try not to listen so much to those voices in your head.

Nicky’s text pops up with a loud, mechanical pinging noise, three dots still hovering under the message as Gigi forces looks up from the screen and glowers across the table as they reach for more baby carrots.

19:43

Make mistakes, but not too many, haha. You’ll figure it out.

If it makes you feel a little bit better, I’m moving to San Fran

19:43

What? For real?

Gigi’s nails frantically tap over the screen.

19:45

Yes! I bought a ticket.

And my husband called an immigration lawyer, we’re going to get my green card situation set.

“Lawyer-”, Gigi gasps; and their entire family pauses, glancing over the table at them.

“Jesus Christ. You did it, didn’t you? You got arrested your first semester, and you weren’t even gonna tell us-”

“You weren’t supposed to hear that.”, they snap, flipping the bird at their oldest brother.

“Well, you shouldn’t be saying it then.”

Their whole table erupts in a discussion Gigi can’t pay any attention to.

19:50

Cool.

That means I get to see you soon.

It’s gonna be great.

They taps ou, and close the app with a smile.

They hadn’t known if Nicky even had a boyfriend, not that it mattered; until it did.

Apparently; he had been married, for almost the whole time they had known each other- a blow Gigi hadn’t quite expected, to leave them as breathless as landing in Los Angeles; the shock not setting in, not in full, anyway- until they are standing in a new apartment, looking down at a menu of instructions on how to set up the wifi in the unit, fingers hovering over everyone in contacts.

They can’t call their mom; not this soon, and their brothers would tell her, and the whole plan would crumble; just like everything had with Nicky; whose calls Gigi had declined for the past solid month; the nights they had spent with their phones propped up behind desks and dressing room mirrors fading into something beyond memory; that they refused to think about any more than they had to, the messages asking if they’re alright answered in curt, short replies.

How could they have been so stupid, thinking that they were talking-talking, teasing that Nicky and they were friends; when Gigi didn’t even know what his real name was.

(Unless it was Nicky?)

Shit.

Gigi waits for their phone to load into the app, and refreshes the friends list a couple of times, until they can see Nicky’s icon at the top, the side of the circle cut through with a little green dot, and taps twice to start a call.

“Hi?”

Nicky’s greeting floats in the air, between a breath and utter silence before Gigi swallows their pride, pressing the phone to the side of their face.

“What do you know about connecting a router to a tower if I live on the…um third floor?”

The line crackles, but soon there’s a tiny, familiar chuckle. “First of all, that is not how you do any of that-”

They talk a little more, every day; in between, Nicky moves to New York and Gigi cuts a tape that they put in the mail with a wink. They’re due for a visit home soon, and carefully proposes- maybe it’s time they meet Nicky. New York isn’t far at all, and a layover would make for a cheaper flight, anyway.

Their plans stack up in hours of calls; and Gigi think they’re almost back to normal. Until, three days before the flight is supposed to leave, there’s a call they had forgotten to wait for, and their fingers hover over the message box below Nicky’s name, vibrating with anxiety and excitement all at once.

09:22

Hey. I had a family thing come up.

Gigi types, and then erases the text, steeling themselves as they taps out another one that makes a little more sense, and doesn’t seem like such a lie.

09:30

I’m so so so so sorry about this

I had some things come up and my trip fell through.

They send this instead, surprised to see Nicky start typing back immediately.

09:35

You’re not going to believe this

I have some work things that started recently and so it would have been really shitty to have a guest over now.

09:35

No way!

09:37

Yeah. :(( But we’re gonna hang out someday, I swear!

09:37

Dont worry! You’re definitely gonna see me.

Real real real soon!

“-Where do I go?”, Gigi asks, pulling at the bottom hem of the ornate jacket she wore, fiddling with the gold telescope in her hands. The lights behind the set burned brightly, making the thicker bottoms of the outfit feel much warmer than he had remembered them being.

“Go to that green square on the ground, and wait there, when you see the little arrow light up, you can enter the Werk Room and then we’ll have you stop inside, get your opening line, and let you see the other girls.”

“Okay.”

He does as he’s told, prancing in and kicking his boots in front of him as the lights move to capture Gigi’s entrance, his head only snapping to the side when given the signal, so he can see the others who are already crowded around the pink tables he’s only dreamed of seeing for so long.

“Holy Shit…Nicky?!”

In reality; Gigi can see far more of the detail of Nicky’s face; of her eyebrows and carefully painted cheeks and lashes, of all the effort that they had only really talked about, his eternal summer tan and the long fringe of black hair that he’s always nudging across his forehead, or slicked against a beanie, gone behind a platinum blonde veneer that’s so much brighter than Gigi has ever seen. She’s thinner, and taller, careful breaths underneath sequinned shoulder pads, knees knocking together as she gasps.

“Gigi!”

Widow and Crystal glance at each other over the pink table.

“Hold up, you guys know each other?”

In the flesh; Gigi is impossibly small, the sharp angles of her face, and the dark brown hair that sticks up in angles which Nicky traces against the white of his pillows in his bedroom on the screen of his phone in the morning, taped underneath a gold-tipped pirate hat, and lush, wavy curls. She looks like a model on the runways where Nicky used to work; so close to him that he can feel Gigi’s breath on the back of his hand, as he tightens his grip around the epaulets on her shoulder.

“Gigi Goode.”, she repeats, and Gigi giggles a little at that.

“The Nicky Doll.”, she laughs, and her voice sounds so much more solid, than it ever has over every crossed wire.

Gigi’s hand swings, squeezing Nicky’s tightly as they swing around the table; like the others who are there don’t matter at all. She rests her head on Nicky’s padded shoulder, cocking it just slightly, waiting there, as Crystal’s eyes flash at the scene before them.

“…and may the best woman win.”, Gigi whispers, only for Nicky to hear.

#rpdr fanfiction #nicky doll #gigi goode #gigi x nicky #pre-ship #fluff #online friends au #s12 #on set fic #queen au #campvanjie #concrit welcome

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kailedger · 4 years

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for all the YOI fanfic author, p.2

Oh wow, let me tell you, I really didn't expect the previous post on Russian culture to blow up ahaha (Here’s the link to it, in case you’re wondering: https://kailedger.tumblr.com/post/621351027189350400/for-all-the-yoi-fanfic-authors) But since it did, I decided to make a part two, sort of? It's not gonna be about mistakes in fanfiction, but more about things English-speaking authors don't mention simply because they don't know they exist.

I’ll give you the general info and then maybe throw some thoughts about how specific YOI characters would relate to that info in my personal opinion.

HOLIDAYS. We have a lot of those TBH, but I'll mention the most important ones - the ones for which we have official days off. I mean, yeah, you can find a list of those in Wikipedia, if you want, but it doesn't actually tell you the reality of things. I've already mentioned the New Year in the previous post, so let’s skip it.

23rd of February is the Defender of the Fatherland Day. It's actually for those who served in the army, but the tradition is to congratulate everyone who's male. Must have something to do with the fact that on 8th of March we have an International Women's Day, when we congratulate everyone who's female. Doesn't really make sense to me, since, you know, there are women in the army too. And a lot of men haven't served a day in their life, what the hell do I have to thank them for? (Here's an example: my dad used to be in the navy, submarine's captain actually, and every year when I congratulate him, he says something along the lines of "Why? There was no war conflict when I served". That's him being humble, but still, the point is there).

ANYWAY! We're not very big on celebrations of these two holidays, most of the time you just give a call to your respective male/female friends and relatives, give flowers to the ladies and just... enjoy your day off?

Next one is the May holidays. Those are usually on the 1-3 of May, the official name (as Wiki states) is "The Day of Spring and Labour". Honestly, no one uses it lol We just say "the first May holidays" (since we also have the second, that's how much we don't wanna work in May; kinda ironic the holiday is called "the day of labour").

You don't congratulate anyone on this day, usually you just have a couple of days off. If we're lucky, the weather would be nice and then people go to the countryside to have a (oh my god, this is gonna be a mouthful) SHASHLYKI. We'll get back to this thing, and you know why? Since if you want someone to embrace the real Russian culture, you would make them go to shashlyki, trust me.

The second May holiday is the Victory Day, and it's kinda... controversial in a way. It is a big celebration for the victory in World War II. Soviet Union suffered a lot during the war with the Nazi Germany, St. Petersburg was under the siege for more than TWO YEARS. And this holiday is both somber and happy since thanks to our ancestors we survived this hell and are now able to live in peace. The celebration is pretty big on official levels - there are military parades everywhere, concerts, people thank the war veterans (there are precious few of them left by now). When I was still in school, they made us visit those parades every year. Guess what? I've never been to a single parade since I graduated. It's not that I don't value the heroism of people who fought in WWII, it's that I think our government uses this holiday to brag how great we are (or, rather, THEY are), 'cause they haven't done anything worth of praise since 1945, which is... depressing, when you think of it. The ridiculous thing is the parade was canceled this year due to coronavirus, but GUESS WHAT? They've used BILLIONS OF DOLLARS to still have it on 24th of June. While the rate of people getting sick is still abnormally high. All because on the 1st of July we're having a vote on the constitution amendments and our government needs an extra boost in patriotism from our people (should I mention some of the amendments are homophobic? Yeah, it sucks).

Well... that was a rant completely offtopic lol. But, you know, this is the opinion of the most people below the age of 35. Also a huge problem here in Russia. Anyway, as I was saying. Used to be a really great holiday where we thanked the veterans and were reminded of the price they paid. Now it's just a sad excuse for the government to waste money sigh

So, a day off. Some fireworks, a hell lot of traffic problems due to parades. Not much else, if you're from the younger generation.

Same thing goes to the 12th of June. Officially a "Russia Day", but since up until the point I graduated from the uni I had summer holidays, I barely even acknowledged the holiday, cause I didn't have to study/work anyway. So like... I lived my whole life here in Russia, and I have no idea why we celebrate this holiday on the 12th of June. I can google it right now, but that kind of would contradict my point here lol.

The last one is on the 3-4 of November. I think it's called something like "Unity Day", but, again, no idea why. Most of the time we just call it "the November holidays" or even "fall holidays". Honestly, most of the time we just care about the days off, especially if the holiday is supposed to be "patriotic". (When I put it like this, we kinda sound like assholes. Probably cause we are lol).

Birthdays mainly depend on the specific person. I used to love my birthdays and it was a big holiday for me when I was a kid, but then I turned 18 and it kinda lost its charm. You still celebrate it, especially if the date is something like 30, 35, 40, 45 and so on. But it gets less and less exciting over the years. I gather my friends at home and just have drinks, my fiance goes to a bar on his birthday. Not very... celebratory, ya know?

So. YOI characters. ALL OF THEM would definitely celebrate New Year. They would probably send some congratulations on 23rd of February and 8th of March. It you think of the Russian rinkmates as friends, they can go the countryside together on the first May holidays, but not actually do anything on the Victory Day (Yakov may attend the parade since he’s from the older generation). Nothing specific to do on 12th of June or November holidays, most likely the rink would be closed, so, like, just a day off.

And now to the important stuff. SHASHLYKI. Oh my god guys, I’m so excited, cause this is one of those things that is AWESOME in Russian culture. And also makes most of the foreigners really confused. But it has some similarities with the American barbeque gatherings, I think.

First of all, many of us live in big cities (like I live in St. Petersburg for example), but we still have countryside houses. Sometimes it’s where our grandparents live, sometimes we buy it specifically. The thing is – we usually go to these places we call “dacha” to have some rest from the noise of the big city and enjoy the fresh air. Usually dachas have gardens, my mom is crazy about all this greenery stuff (I personally don’t see what’s the big deal with taking care of the plants, but I was told it comes with age ;D).

And to enjoy the experience even more we have shashlyki. It’s usually grilled meat (chicken, pork, whichever you prefer) and vegetables, but the process is what makes it really fun. Most families have their own recipes for marinated meat, you prepare it beforehand. Then, on the day, you make some snacks (salted pickles and fresh vegetables come to my mind immediately; pickles are like a must-have, it’s almost an obligatory food since it goes really well with vodka lol). While some of the people sit around the table, have drinks and catch up, there’s usually one person responsible for grilling meat. And this process is very important – it’s gotta be cooked on the brazier with actual flame (or, more like, coals). You put pieces of meat on a metallic skewer and then grill it (I think there’s the word “kebab”, but we usually use it to describe an entirely different meal, so, shashlyk it is). And let me tell you – having a freshly grilled shashlyk with some vegetables and a drink like wine (or vodka if you’re into it) is the best feeling in the world.

So you’re enjoying the fresh air, really tasty meal, have some drinks with family or/and friends. A pretty common thing (not for everyone, but I personally love it) is having someone play the guitar and sing songs around the campfire. The songs we sing are usually either stupid or old, and you would never just casually listen to those on your own, but when the time comes and you sit with the guitar, somehow EVERYONE knows the lyrics. The point is to have fun, not make a concert out of it :)

I actually think that Victor and the rest of the gang would at least try to give Yuuri (and other non-Russians, who knows) this kind of experience. I also headcanon someone (Otabek or maybe Victor himself) knowing how to play the guitar. But I wouldn’t trust Victor with the grilling, honestly, it requires a lot of attention, and… well… you all know what Victor is like ;D

And since we’re on the topic of music, let’s discuss it. Me and a dear friend of mine @clarie-foster, who also happens to be both Russian and a YOI fan, had a lot of headcanons on this.

What you need to know, is when it comes to music, here in Russia we’re pretty flexible. The popular music is the one you can here everywhere, it’s on European and American charts, like, I dunno, Beyonce, Ed Sheeran, Gaga etc. There’s Russian pop-music and, honestly, it sucks lol. Most of the time I listen to it cause it’s dumb and catchy. There are some good artists, of course, I can throw you a couple of name bands like “Ночные Снайперы”, “Сплин”, “Би-2”, but the songs are in Russian, and although the lyrics are pretty damn good, they’re kinda hard to understand if you don’t know the language (I mean, just reading the translation won’t give you the whole experience). And those bands are… depressing? In a way? Not that the songs are extremely dark or something, but you kind of listen to those in a melancholic mood. Me and one of my best friends used to go out on the balcony in summer, sit wrapped in a blanket and listen to those songs. Great experience, if a little sad.

BUT. There’s the old pop-music. We have some of those artists, who were really popular when my parents were young and somehow still popular these days. Their music is honestly average – the tunes might be catchy, the lyrics are mediocre at best, but… when you have a little bit to drink, you get in that mood, where you start singing those old pop-songs. And it’s not like listening to ABBA or, I don’t know, A-ha, since those are classic and still good these days. Russian pop-songs SUCK, they’re horrible, but somehow that is the best kind of music when you’re drunk.

I personally think Victor is one of those people who would totally jam to the old Russian pop. It’s funny, since most of it is from female singers (There’s literally a song from a Russian singer Irina Allegrova called “Go crazy, wild empress”, no kidding). I just can picture him so clearly being drunk and singing those old songs with abandon lol.

Mila would probably join him while laughing hysterically. Georgi too, since he’s a drama queen. And Yuri would make all kinds of disgusted faces.

Two facts which I have never seen being mentioned in fanfiction, which is really weird. So Victor lives in St. Petersburg, as we all saw from those last scenes in the anime (in the background you can see actual places from St. P like our sports stadium). And St. Petersburg is mostly known for two things: bridges and white nights.

WHITE NIGHTS OH MY GOD. I don’t want to go to deep into the details since I don’t really understand the nature of this thing (something to do with sun not really going down? I dunno), but in summer, especially in June and July it basically doesn’t get dark in St. Petersburg. I mean, the sun does go down, you can see the sunset and everything, but the sky stays like… white-grey, almost as though it’s midday, just cloudy. Like we’re in the middle of white nights right now, and the darkest hour is around 1 am, but even then it doesn’t really get dark at all. A lot of people from other cities and countries get confused by it, like, there was this time when Stephen Colbert was a guest on a Russian talk-show and he had a hilarious convo with the host. It was something like this: “So I’ve been in St. Petersburg for one day. It has lasted for 46 hours. Please tell me if the sun will ever go down, ‘cause I’m going crazy”.

For us common people white nights can get really annoying, if your curtains are not black-out, you can have a hard time falling asleep (since, you know, it’s too freaking bright outside). But it’s actually really great for late-night walks and is considered really romantic.

And, speaking of romantic, the bridges! What’s so special about those, you’d think. So St. Petersburg is built on the river Neva – it’s like really big, has a lot of tributaries and distributaries and flows through the whole city. Hence why we have tons of bridges.

And those bridges are drawing bridges, meaning they are separated in the middle by a special mechanism and are being lifted in the air so that the trade ships can pass underneath them. The most impressive one is the Palace Bridge – it’s one of the main sightseeing spots in the city. For most tourists it’s obligatory to visit St. Petersburg and see the drawing of the Palace Bridge. It happens at night, around the time of 1 am or 2 am. It’s really pretty, cause there are lights everywhere, you can see the ships passing by and the view of this huge structure being lifted in the air is really magnificent. Combine it with the white nights and you’ll have one of the most romantic dates you can have here in Russia.

(On the more realistic and depressing note: despite the drawing of the bridges being really beautiful, it’s SUCH a pain in the ass for the regular people. Like, because of the drawing you can’t really get from one side of the city to another. For example, I live in the northern part and if for some reason I couldn’t get to it from the center of the city before the drawing of the bridges, I’m stuck till like 4 or 5 am. Subway only opens at 6 am, and although we have a couple of bridges which never draw, those are on the outskirts of the city, so taking an uber and driving there would cost you a lot of money and also would take like and extra hour or so. Thankfully, the drawing of the bridges lasts only from April to October-November, while the ship navigation on the Neva river is possible).

Last, but not least, SOCIAL MEDIA.

So, like, Instagram is pretty popular in Russia and so is Twitter. But what people rarely mention is our own social media site – Vkontakte (www.vk.com, if you’re interested). It started to become popular in like… 2008, I think? Basically it used to be and knock-off from Facebook, even the color scheme is the same. It became more and more popular over the years, since Facebook was never really a thing in Russia (like, I had a profile there, but I’ve never used it). Now it’s like… if you don’t have a VK profile, it’s super weird lol. I communicate with most of my friends through it, since it has a lot of really cool features: chats, group chats, communities, music, videos and photos. It’s gotten so big that VK even hosts its own music festival each year with a lot of popular Russian artists.

Victor is a social butterfly, so he would definitely have a VK profile. So would Mila, Yuri and Georgi, I personally think most of their communication would be through it. Maybe they would even force Yuuri to create a profile, but he’s not really into social media much, so he wouldn’t really use it.

I think that’s it for now. Like I said, if you have any questions, feel free to ask, I would be happy to answer! ;)

#yoi #yuri on ice #yuuri on ice #victor nikiforov #viktor nikirofov #yuuri katsuki #victuuri #viktuuri #yuri plisetsky #mila babicheva #georgi popovich #and all this russia-related stuff

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softspaceboibrian · 5 years

Text

Journeys End in Lovers Meeting (Chapter 2)

Pairing: Professor!Gwilym Lee x reader

Summary: Reader is a new student at Harvard University and, on her first day, she does something she might regret. Or maybe not.

Warnings: none

Wc: 2700

A/N: okay, so, not as many people as I thought read the first chapter, which is sad since I thought it was good. but yeah, I'll keep posting it anyway and, hopefully, it will gain readers with time

Other chapters: 1 - 3 - 4 - 5

“Gosh, you’re soaking wet… get inside the car” He sounded worried and confused. You didn’t let him beg for you to actually do it. You didn’t know why, but you trusted him enough to get instantly inside his car, even though you had known him for, what? Less than a day? “What happened to you? I thought you were going to go home by bus.”

“Well, the bus didn’t come, I don’t have money for a cab, my flat mate is still working, I don’t know if I left my keys at home or if I lost them. Oh, and it started raining.” You explained without managing to look him in the eyes. You were embarrassed because of all that happened to you in less than ten minutes.

“You can stay at my place till your friend gets home.” His voice was soft, his smile sincere.

“Oh, no. Don’t worry. You can just drop me off at the library or, I don’t know, a café. I really don’t mean to bother you.” You started rumbling on, really not wanting to be a weight for him.

“You are not bothering me. I live alone with my dog, and she loves people. You’re more than welcome, trust me.” He smiled gently, before starting the car. Apparently, you didn’t have much of a say in it. He just decided that you were going home with him and, for some reason, that didn’t bother you, at all. The drive wasn’t long and surely a lot less embarrassing than the walk they had together to get to his office a few hours before. It was filled with funny comments and stories of embarrassing students hitting in him during lesson or trying to kiss him during office hours. After fifteen minutes or so, the car stopped in front of a beautiful townhouse, which reminded you of London.

“Make yourself at home” said the man while letting you in. The house smelled of cinnamon, books, coffee and cranberry. You looked around, noticing that that place looked exactly how you expected the house of an English literature professor to look like: books everywhere, papers full of notes and stains of coffee, tons of used notebooks, numerous bookshelves filled with every kind of book you could ever think of, the desk and the coffee table submerged with papers and, yes, you guessed it, more books. ��I’m really sorry for the mess, we were obviously not expecting any visit anytime soon.” He laughed. The way he talked about himself and his dog warmed your heart.

“Don’t worry, my home is a lot worse. I mean, two girls leaving all by themselves, without any parent to remind them to tidy up the room. I think you can imagine how that looks like.” You giggled, putting your bag down and taking off your shoes. Immediately afterward, you felt something touching your leg and, when you turned around, you saw a furry ball sitting right in front of you, with two beautiful blue eyes, and a ball in her mouth.

“Lady, don’t bother our guest” Said the man, getting closer to them, probably to take the dog away. But you got down on your knees, petting the dog before taking the toy from her mouth.

“Lady, that’s a beautiful name” You commented, starting to play with her, throwing the toy and waiting for the dog to bring it back to you.

The man didn’t answer. He just smiled and disappeared in a room, coming out of it a few minutes later in some more comfortable clothes. “You’re still wet, maybe you want to take a shower and change into some warm, clean clothes.” His voice was so gentle it almost gave you shivers.

“Ehm… yes, thank you. If that not a problem with you.” You got up from the floor, leaving Lady alone and walking towards him.

Twenty minutes later you walked into the kitchen wearing warm clothes that were definitely too big for you, your hair had been pulled up in a messy bun, but at least you were no longer soaking wet because of the rain. The kitchen smelled even more of coffee than the living room did, inviting you to get inside and take a seat at the table where the Professor was working. The last thing you wanted to do was to disturb him. But as soon as you sat down, he looked up from the laptop, laying his eyes on you, that soft smile that showed the little wrinkles around his eyes made its way on his face, making you blush for no particular reason. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, thank you.” You smiled, lowering your gaze on the table, while you started fidgeting with your hands.

“Would you like a cup of coffee?”

“I actually prefer tea”

“Black?”

“Yes, please”

“Coming” He winked, going immediately to the stove to prepare you tea. It amazed you how different he looked there, at home, where no one could see him, where he simply was Gwilym, the nice guy next door with an adorable puppy and amazing taste in books. “I’m working on an article.” He said breaking the silence. “I write for an online newspaper. I take care of the literature section. I review new books, I write about recently deceased authors, but this kind of article I’m working on right now is by far my favourite: I have to work on a theme, analyse it through different works, authors, countries, genres.”

“And what is the theme of this article in particular?” You asked, being sincerely curious.

“Don John. You know, the famous Spanish womanizer.” He turned around, arms crossed in front of his chest. “I started by analysing the first drama ever written about him, then I compared it to the Romantic version. Then, I talked about Mozart’s and Byron’s plays and Kierkegaard’s theory of the three phases of life.” He explained with a proud grin on his lips, until he got unexpectedly cut off.

“Did you consider writing about Wilde’s Dorian Gray as modern Don John?” You asked, tilting your head to the side, laying your cheek on the palm of your hand.

He looked at you speechless. “No, I did not…” You had surprised him, positively surprised him.

“Well, you see, they are more alike than one would ever imagine: they both care about appearance more than everything, they like to seduce people – here’s the first difference, Dorian seduces not only women, but also men. Then, for example, look at the characters and the object: Sybil is Doña Ines, Sybil’s brother is Don Gonzalo, the picture is the statue. Easy.” He was amazed by the girl in front of him and her knowledge. “Why modern, you might ask. Well, you see, when the story was first written, it was set in Seville, Spain, one of the most glorious reigns of those times. When Wilde wrote The Picture of Dorian Gray, England was the most powerful country in the world and geographically the centre of the world. Don John used to go out drinking, Dorian is known for using drugs, such as opium.” You kept rambling on for several minutes, stopping only to thank the man for the tea.

When you finished presenting your theory, Gwilym remained silent for a couple more moments, still astonished by your intelligence. “You know Spanish literature too?”

“And Anglo-American, German, Italian, Scandinavian and a little French and Russian.” You replied, right before taking a sip of your no-longer-too-hot tea.

“You will never stop to surprise me, won’t you?”

You giggled, hiding your now rosy cheeks behind the mug, not really knowing what to answer. “You can use my idea, if you want.”

He sat down across from you, setting his mug down on the table right on a small pile of papers. That’s why there's stains pretty much on each paper on his house. “You should write for a blog or a magazine yourself.” His voice was gentle, just as his smile.

“Oh no, writing articles isn’t my thing. I’m more into poetry and novels.” You shook your head, crossing your legs on the chair. “But, I’m serious, use it. If your readers find it interesting, all you need to do is thank me.” You giggled, putting down the mug on the table.

But, at that point, the article was long forgotten, the laptop went on standby mode. “Are you staying over for dinner?”

The next day you woke up at the sound of your alarm going off. You reached for the phone, without finding it. It must have fallen from the nightstand or something, or at least that was what you thought. When you finally managed to open your eyes, the view of a room you had never seen before appeared in front of you, leaving you perplexed. You finally found her phone, which was on the nightstand, charging. A just not your nightstand. It was only when you read Rose’s text messages that it all hit you.

[9:47 pm] Honey, I’m so sorry if I didn’t answer. I was still working. Hope you’re fine.

[9:48 pm] Oh, I see, you’re with Prof Charming.

[10:14 pm] Yes, your keys are home. I’ll leave the spare one under the mat outside the door.

[6:45 am] You’re not home? Are you already out or did you sleep at your teacher house?

[7:01 am] I’m actually a little worried. Text me asap, so I know that you’re okay.

You unlocked you phone and immediately responded Rose’s messages. Yes, you had spent the night there, but you didn’t recall falling asleep in that bed. That was extremely confusing. At that point you got up, taking your phone with her and walking outside of the room, following the scent of black tea and coffee coming from the kitchen, finally finding the tall man, who was standing in front of the stove, waiting for the coffee to be ready, printed papers in his hands. You just walked in, looking at him and greeting him, waiting for him to realize you were actually there. And when he finally raised his eyes from the papers to meet your gaze, a soft smile formed on his lips. “Good morning.” His voice was still a little raspy, he had probably just woke up himself. “Did you sleep well? I made you tea, and here you have toasts with jam or butter, granola, cookies, fruit. Take whatever you want.”

You sat down at the table, still looking at him, hoping he would say something that could remind you how you ended up waking up in his bed. Like, did you drink so much that now you couldn’t even remember doing it? Did you have sex? What happened?!

“Last night you were watching TV and you fell asleep on the couch” He said, as if he could read your mind. “So I picked you up, took you to my room and let you sleep in my bed, while I slept on the couch instead.”

You looked at him in silence for a second, waiting to finish chewing the cookie you had started to eat. “You didn’t have to. You could have woken me up and driven me home, or even just let me sleep on the couch.”

“That’s okay, don’t worry.” He smiled in that gentle way, like he always did, that kind of smile that reassures you, makes you feel comfortable. “Do you need me to drive you to your place so that you can change before going to University?”

“Yes, but you could just drop me off there and then I could take the bus, you don’t need to wait for me.”

“I insist.” His voice was soft, soothing, in a way. He had only known you for less than a day and he was already so caring and thoughtful. And the was weird for you because never in your experience someone did that just because they wanted to. Back in high school, people always wanted something in exchange. They treated you kindly and then they wanted you to do their homework; they invited you to parties, and then they wanted you to vote for them; they invited you over to their place to study together, and then they wanted to have sex. “Come on, I’m just trying to be nice. After all, we’re going to work together now.”

You didn’t let him go on for a lot more. You trusted him, even though you weren’t sure why. In his eyes you see that something that ha led you to accept his ride the day before. You trusted him, and that was the reason why you eventually gave in. And there you were, twenty minutes later, in front of your apartment, finally opening the door and letting the man in. “I’m really sorry for the mess.” You giggled, immediately running towards your flatmate’s room to close the door – it looked like a bomb had exploded inside that room, there were clothes all over the floor, open books on the bed and shoes on the desk, nothing was where it should have been. Luckily, the rest of the house wasn’t that bad, still a mess, but it could have definitely been worse. The living room wasn’t that big, the couch took up most of the space, all of her books were still inside those big cardboard boxes, only a couple of notebooks were lying on the coffee table with some other papers, most of them covered in tea and mug stains. Your room, on the other hand, had a reason for it to be a mess: it was still a work in progress, there were still boxes out, you hadn’t put all the books on the shelves nor all the clothes inside the closet, but that was just because you would usually have something else to do in the afternoon or in your spare time instead of tidying up.

“You can wait here, on the couch” You smiled, right before vanishing inside your bathroom. It didn’t take you long and fifteen minutes later you had showered and were now wearing some dark wash mom jeans, a loose navy blue turtleneck with white stripes, a cream coloured long cardigan and white sneakers. As simple as it could be. You put on some lip balm and walked out of the bathroom, picking up your bag and going back to the living room. There you immediately met those blue eyes that almost sent shivers down your spine, before going back to what they were looking at before. There was something about that man, something that you couldn’t yet understand but that still made you want to spend time with him as if he was a simple friend.

“Your poems are breath-taking. I didn’t expect you to be this good.” He commented, his eyes still on an open notebook. “I mean, I imagined you were probably really good, but I didn’t think you were this good.” When you finally realised what he was holding in his hands, you let you bag fall to ground with a big thud, before running towards him, taking the notebook from his hands and closing it immediately. He looked puzzled, why should someone this good hide her talent? “I’m really sorry, I found it there, on the coffee table. It was open, and I peeked. It’s impressive what you can do.”

“I never show my poems to anyone.” You whispered, hiding the notebook behind your back.

“I don’t get it? Why not share it with the word? Those are wonderful.” His voice was soft, sincere, his eyes tried to meet yours, which were now looking at your shoes.

“I don’t… I don’t think people would actually like them.”

He looked at you in silence for a while, before crossing his arms in front of his chest. “The Romantics, am I right? Those are the poets you look up to. Keats is probably your favourite.”

“Yes”

“Well, that explains a lot.” And you knew exactly what he meant by that, so you just kept your eyes low, trying to hide the peachy colour of your cheeks. “We should get going.” Said the man after taking a quick glance at his watch.

#gwilym lee #professor gwilym lee #gwilym lee x reader #gwilym lee x you #professor!gwilym lee #journeys end in lovers meeting #jeilm #softspaceboibrian writings

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atimefordragons · 4 years

Photo

[ T S E S A R E V N A ... ]

My incomplete audition for Gem Quest, didn’t have the time to participate properly, let alone finish my audition from all the other groups (yeah, I don’t know what time management is and have no idea how to pace myself).

“В небе далеком горит звезда, | In distant heaven star shines Не одинока и не одна | It's not alone and not the one Каждый себе выбирает путь | Everyone choose their own way И она не даст свернуть | And star won't allow them to turn Не закрывай глаза | Don't close your eyes Смотри она ведет тебя.. | Look, it leads you...”

- Звезда (Dima Bilan ft Anna Belan)

Real Name: Yekatrina “Katya/Rina” Anatolyevna Raevskaya

Age: 26

FC: Alia Bhatt

Species & Class: Dragonborn & Mage-Knight

Guild: Moonstone

Description of In-Game Powers: (what their fantasy species lets them do, basically, and all the associated drawbacks)

A dragonborn is a cross-bred species, born from the bloodline of either a human or an elf, and a Great Dragon (highly evolved, ancient dragons that can cast spells, and shit, and even speak the human tongue). Because great dragons are rare, most dragonborn are second generation or later. In the case of Tsesarevna, an ice dragon and a human (not a first gen).

Dragonborns have a natural affinity for magic, particularly elemental, even more specifically for the element of the dragon type whose blood they inherited, in the case of Tsesarevna, frozen water related magic, ice, frost, snow.

Place of Birth: Saint Petersburg, Russian Federation

Appearance: (optional textual description/notes of wardrobe, features not represented by fc, etc)

Places Most Likely to be Found In-Game: Level 20 - A Midwinter Night’s Dream (I see what you did there Ayz) and Level 38 - Murias Pass (the snow reminds her of home, ya know. The cold never bothered me anyway), also sometimes Level 39 - The Dragon, but she’s technically stuck on that level because she refuses to kill the Dragon, issa zaldrīzo ānogar.

Current Inventory:

History Book: The Dragon King Festival

Strongest character trait: eurovision knowledge Confidence (in herself and some others)

Strengths: Katya is almost surprisingly determined, it contradicts with the rest of her “I’ve never had to work hard to get what I want in my life” type personality, but she is persevering and stubborn, when she wants something, she won’t stop until she gets it. Which in her real life was never very difficult getting.

Weaknesses: Where to even start? Spoiled Princess Brat (she has never not gotten what she wants in her life, and it shows), impatient, impulsive, not exactly a team player (I mean, she is now, but that shady shit she pulled back when she first started playing kinda got her a rep), arrogant, prideful, kind of a bitch (doesn’t really think of it as a weakness, but ya know, it’s hard to make friends), dragon obsession (refuses to kill dragons, even in order to advance the game, got herself and party members killed early on in the game ‘cause of it), kind of an adrenaline junkie, and reckless af. She doesn’t really consider the consequences of the game, wholeheartedly believes her dad, fam and connections in the real world will get her out soon enough, so has no problem running head first into fire (”I’m too hot to die in a video game”).

Player Stats: (on a scale of 1-10, 1 being the weakest, 10 being the strongest. try to balance it out!)

STRENGTH: 9

DEFENSE: 7

CHARISMA: 3

PSYCHE: 5

WILLPOWER: 9

CAUTIOUSNESS: 2

AGILITY: 5

ENDURANCE: 7

INTELLIGENCE: 8

LUCK: 4

Personality: “Haven’t you ever seen a princess be a bad bitch before?”

Haha, yeah, but mostly, she’s just a massive nerd. She’s such a fucking nerd. Bitch learned Quenya and Sindarin just for kicks, and her own amusement. Literally no one else in her irl circle even fucking knows what those two things are (Elvish tongues in Tolkien).

As the baby of a two large families, and the only daughter of a Russian oligarch, Katya is incredibly spoiled, and very much self-centered. Something of a downplayed celebutante, she is not quite as present at every single high society, high fashion event in Russia, or elsewhere in Europe, she only goes to a handful. And really only for the free stuff, she loves stuff. Katya maintains a somewhat disinterested high social status, as she is the daughter of a major industrialist, and friends with other, higher profile wealthy Russian heirs and heiresses, and there are benefits (so many), but she isn't quite interested in attaining spotlight or attention. However, she also perceives it as something that is just naturally part of her life. She uses a lot of hand gestures when speaking, and tends to give off a naive-princessy vibe who seems to think the world revolves around her. Which, to be fair, it does in her house -she does know that it doesn’t actually, but ya know, can’t quite turn off that bitch, I’m a princess mindset.

“I don’t skate through life... I walk through life. In really nice shoes.” - Alexis Rose (Schitts’ Creek 3.04)

Notably, she speaks with a vocal fry when speaking English. She says “like” a lot, has a bit of a condescending tone, but, she like, does care. About a lot of stuff, but also humanity in general. Spoiled baby she may be, she does have a moral compass, and was amongst the public figures who signed an open letter against the Saint Petersburg Anti-”Gay Propaganda” bill (it’s some bullshit about “protecting” minors from “non-traditional sexual relationships”). She believes in doing the right thing, that the goal of any organization or even person should just be to decrease the net suffering of humanity, but also, she is a super proud Russian. Very anti-american, thinks they’re all stupid, always says shady shit in Russian whenever she runs into americans online. However, it’s not like she’s a fan of United Russia (Putin’s party), they’re right-wing nutjobs, she does not like them. Her main political party is A Just Russia, who are much less then left than her (officially, they be centre-left), but they’re the only ones (of her favoured parties) who have seats in the State Duma (the lower house of the Federal Assembly, Russia’s legislative body - the Duma is like parliament, or congress, I think, I don’t really know what congress is tbh, house of representatives maybe? Idk, the place where Nancy Pelosi is charge, equivalent to that). Katya also supports Patriots of Russia, a socialist, left-wing party, but they only have seats in regional parliaments, and only one seat in the Federation Council (similar to the senate, the upper house of Russia’s legislative body). There’s also Russia of the Future, but it’s not been formally registered yet. In the 2018 election she voted for the communist party’s candidate just for kicks (it’s different in Russia, there’s was zero possibility of Putin losing, come on, grow up).

As a side note, if this helps with the explainary-stuff, I basically envision her as a slavic-desi cross of Alexis Rose from Schitts’ Creek, and Gina Linetti from Brooklyn-99, also this hindi song; Sheila ki Jawani. The song is basically about owning the fact that you’re super sexy.

Biography: Katya is half-Russian, half-Indian, born to a Russian father, industrialist (and oligarch) Anatoli Ivanovich Raevsky, and an Indian mother, activist and journalist Mishti Syeda Khan. Her parents eventually separated, though technically are still married, when she was about 14, and her mother moved to Manchester in the UK, while Katya remained in Russia with her father. Katya is from a large family, on both sides, and at the time of her birth, was the first baby to be born in quite a few years (the elder cousins were like tween-teen, too old be constantly coddled and cuddled, and too young to make babies), so she was hella spoiled by everyone. The problems her maternal family had with her mother marrying a non-Muslim white boy? Well, we still hate him, but look how cute Rina is.

Despite the... complications between her family members - the whole religion/marrying a shada (white) boy thing, not to mention that Mishti herself is like agnostic at “best”, in general, as the baby, Katya (or Rina as her mother and maternal family call her), get along - well, okay, there’s always the shady auntieji’s, and bullshit drama, but like, that’s just brown families yo. We like that. We’re all 100% those bitches (see ya at Eid Nanu [grandma], ya messy bitch). While there is some distance between Katya and her mother, metaphorically and literally, she really does look up to her mother and her work, and followed in her footsteps, studying journalism at Moscow State University, and moving on to work at Известия (Izvestia), the “national” paper of Russia, formerly the state newspaper of the Soviet Union. Currently, she’s a glorified fact checker, and maintains the website with a handful of other colleagues. She’s also authored small “puff pieces” for Nedelya (a weekly Friday section about leisure actives, culture, that kinda stuff).

Katya is not exactly an avid gamer. She likes games, but it’s not like a 24/7 thing, whereas she is 24/7 thinking about like ASOIAF or Stars Wars (fuck you JJ, you were supposed to destroy the Sith R*ylo, not join them), not to mention Eurovision. Anyone who thinks Eurovision only lasts for a week is a fake fan, and anyone who thinks it’s a one day thing is an american. Ziben ziben ilulu motherfucker. Anyway.... she prefers immersive, high fantasy worlds, she likes the story and plot, so her types of games are The Witcher and Dragon Age Series, Elder Scrolls, that sort of thing. She doesn’t put in daily hours, ‘cause she got other stuff to do, but will dedicate weekends to leveling up her characters in order to accomplish quests and missions quickly and not waste time to get to the story cut scenes. She hates, hates, hatessss microtransactions and those stupid fucking mmorpg phone games which are literally just farmville repackaged with a dragon or an orc; FUCK YOU. What a fucking waste of time, quit advertising as having a plot and story, or cool character customization, ‘cause you don’t have any of that you basic ass bitch!

Gem Quest was regifted to Katya by a coworker, who had gotten it as a present, but didn’t have a VR set (of course she had one, she’s rich, and also she needed it to play Batman: Arkham VR - she’s still waiting on a game that’ll let her make out with Nightwing while playing as a custom character). She got a bit of a bad rep (understatement) in the beginning of the game. Katya hates being stuck because she doesn’t have enough exp or whatever, so she always levels up in the beginning of a game before taking the time to fuck around and do whatever, which, in the case of Gem Quest, means teaming up is the easiest way to do that. So, whenever a party member was holding them back from leveling up, she would straight up kill them in order to move on. She killed her own irl friends, to be fair, she doesn’t do that anymore, that was just in the beginning, but ya know, the rep of being that bitch kinda hard to get of.

G.’s announcement didn’t particularly freak out Katya. Whatever kind of evil Kaiba Corp execs bullshit he was pulling didn’t matter, he still had a body out there in the real world, and there’s no fucking way her dad would let die in a fucking game. There’s perks to being Oligarchs in Russia, and even if she did die in-game and was unable to return to reality, wherever G. and his real body were, motherfucker will die in excruciating pain. Polonium-210 ain’t pleasant, and the Novichok series is so much worse.

Relationships: (OPTIONAL, fill out whenever you want to)

Silverwing - rn. Anastasia “Anya” Gagarina (fc: Anna Belan), a fellow moonstone, and real life friend - well, the younger sister of an ex-boyfriend whom she still gets along with (the sister, not necessarily the ex).

Inferna - I don’t really have any plotting ideas, but Inferna’s whole; “It’s very important that I am both cute and powerful” is so relatable (to me and Katya xp)

Enthroned -

Morningstar -

Extras/Trivia (aka unnecessary information):

Her mother, and thus maternal family, are from Kolkata, in the state of West Bengal in India, thus making Katya fluent (relatively) in Bengali as well (well, a dialect of it - West Central, you’d think as an actual Bengali person, I’d know the proper name of it, but nope. Idk, shudobasha maybe, but I think that’s for people from Dakha, which is in Bangladesh, not India. Whatever. Not like my dad will check this and be disappointed in me.)

Apart from her native Russian, Hindi, and Bengali, she speaks English, and Japanese (100% learned it because she’s a weeb), as well as the fictional languages; Quenya, Sindarin (and can use the Tengwar script to write them), High Valyrian, Mando’a, Dovazhul, and Klingon. As a teenager she also created a dictionary for ancient “Black Speech”, an in-universe constructed language in Tolkien’s legendarium, but her version is not canon, so it doesn’t count - she’s also forgotten a lot of it. She was a baby, she still has the hard copy she made somewhere in the Raevsky Manor in Saint Petersburg.

After graduating from MSU, her father bought her, her own apartment in the Kudrinskaya Square Building in Moscow, adjacent to the ones he owned already, which she had lived in when she moved to Moscow for school.

Katya’s family is religiously mixed (well, she’s the one who’s mixed), her maternal family are largely Muslim, some Hindu (very few though, like, you can count them on one hand), and her paternal family are either Orthodox Christian or atheist (usually depending on how long they were alive and how into the Soviet Regime they were). Katya’s parents are agnostic (Mishti), and atheist (Anatoli), Katya herself is also atheist, but sometimes she’ll say she prays to the Seven or R’hllar, or Lord Jashin, or some other made up nerd ass religion (’cause she that bitch).

But for real, she can be a real bitch about religion. The Soviets got a lot wrong, but banning religion was not one of them <- so she says. She gets super pissed when someone brings up religion during a politics chat, that fake shit should have nothing to do with running a country.

hates starbucks with every fibre of her being, it’s such an american staple and the first time she saw one in Russia, she nearly had a heart attack.

Will die mad about:

The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker; the fuck was that bullshit? We trusted you JJ!

the garbage show’s gaslighting and murder of Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, First of Her Name, Rightful Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men. Queen of Meereen, The Prince who was Promised, The Unburnt, Slayer of Lies, Breaker of Shackles, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, and Mother of Dragons.

Hrithik Roshan still being so fucking hot (he’s 45, please like chill a little, holy fuck)

Catarina de Lurton dying

Former american politician John McCain constantly saying “Russia is a gas station masquerading as a country” - bitch, we’re a thousand years old, how’s your 250 year old failed experiment of a garbage nation going?

Freud.

Links:

Playlist

Urstyle Collection (aesthetics, and other shit)

Social Media

#gem quest #katya raevskaya #audition #my edits #clara's edits #mine #incomplete #writing #graphics

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sunshine-and-waffles · 5 years

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2018 Bookend Review

I did better this year. I didn’t meet my goal of 12 physical books, but considering the amount of chaos and disorder this year brought, I’m proud of my accomplishment. (last year I read 6 physical books and listened to 7 audiobooks).

2018 books:

The City of Brass: Fantastic, rich, and full of novel concepts. It’s a mixture of alternative historical fiction and fantasy, set in a muslim country. The story deals with a fictional cast system, sexism, and has a female protagonist. Can’t wait for the sequel this January!

Uprooted: Lovely fantasy novel. Witchy woman comes into her own power, pursues her career/calling (instead of pursuing a romantic relationship), and finds a romance which values equality (all in a fictional, magical, old-timey land). Yeah, I would strongly recommend this book to any of my female friends who grew up on/enjoy princess-y stuff, but are also strong feminist women. You really get the best of both worlds here.

Spinning Silver: Written by the same author as Uprooted. I really just enjoyed the fuck out of this book. It has a female, orthodox jewish protagonist set in an alternative past Russia where elves are real (and evil?). I was really impressed by the skillful manner in which the author wove the historical prejudice and challenges experienced by jewish people through a full on fantasy book.

The Hazel Wood: Full on fantasy with a female protagonist; Begs the question what is good and evil in relation to intention, while still being an easy read. Will be giving this to my future children.

The Bear and The Nightingale: A spin on classic Russian fairytales, again with a female protagonist. This story was rich and satisfying; It truly felt like it nourished me.

The Girl In The Tower: The sequel to The Bear and The Nightingale, this story deals more with castle intrigue and less with forest creatures, but again it was rich and satisfying. It takes the premiss and protagonist from The Bear and The Nightingale and demonstrates the authors ability to carry those elements into an entirely new setting.

The Crow Girls: A book of short stories about my favorite fictional characters. This is a book I have wanted to be written since I could ask my mother to read to me. However, I don’t think it would be all that interesting to someone who has not read his other books.

Norse Mythology by Neil Gaiman: I honestly could take it or leave it. I guess I expected an interesting spin on the stories because of the author, but they’re pretty straight forward.

Any Man: OOOOh lord. This got very uncomfortable. I don’t know why, but this is the book I chose to read on my family vacation. Anyways, it’s about the experience of being raped from a variety of male perspectives. All the rapes being perpetrated by a fictional serial rapist named “Maude”. It’s very well written.

A New American Best Friend: Nuanced, cruelly honest, and shining. Reading these poems are like touching an exposed nerve; It’s exquisite in how much pain and pleasure can be derived from it’s reliability.

2018 Audio Books:

Her Body and Other Parties: I listened to this in February of last year and it was good enough that as I’m thinking back I can recall several individual short stories and my reactions to them. I think the stories are well written and poignant, but they’re also uncomfortable and a bit painful at times. Beautiful literature, but I probably won’t read them again.

Fahrenheit 451: I finally read/listened to this! I started it when I was in 4th grade, and have always felt vaguely guilty that I didn’t finish. It’s a classic so I don’t feel like I need to describe it in anyway.

Cinder: Stupid teen fiction/sci-fi, but great for driving to work in the morning. The protagonist is treated poorly by her step-mom, but she’s actually oh so very special, and a prince falls in love with her. I do have to say that it was nice that it was set in an asian society.

A Simple Favor: Good mystery set in contemporary times. Deals with social isolation and social media, as well as a good amount of trashy, titillating, scandalous, sex. I enjoyed it, but it didn’t really make me think of anything particularly deep. Definitely a good audiobook listen.

In conclusion, I almost exclusively read female centered books this year, and I feel really good about that. Now in 2019 I’m going to actually really read 12 physical books! I can do it!

#the city of brass #uprooted #the hazel wood #the bear and the nightingale #the girl in the tower #spinning silver #the crow girls #norse mythology #any man #A new American Best Friend #her body and other parties #fahrenheit 451 #cinder #A simple Favor #2018 bookend review 2018 books

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 5 years

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Morose Mononokean II 4

Aw, another little fuzzball to steal away my heart? I’m being spoiled, aren’t I?

For some reason, this episode was meant to be really emotional, but I felt pretty restless while watching it. Probably because I was thinking about playing Merc Storia all that time.

Mob Psycho 100 II 4

Didn’t expect Shinra to be back after his previous appearance…

Notably, you’d expect Matsuo’s name to have the kanji for “pine tree” in it, but it doesn’t - it has the kanji for “demon” and then one more.

I loved it when FLCL and SGRS went into manga mode, but for some reason, the transition into manga mode didn’t land as well here…hmm.

“I’ll go inside her…With an out-of-body experience.” - That sounds majorly wronggggggggggg, Mob, y’know? Even with context.

I find it interesting Mob perceives himself to be naked…as in, unguarded. He’s fine as he is and doesn’t need to change…in some ways, anyway. He could probably do with a few more emotions, but you get what I mean.

Wha-wha-wha-whoaaaaaaaaa. You mean, Mogami just got rid of Mob’s powers??? That is a nasty cliffhanger!

My Roommate is a Cat 4

Just seeing Hiroto near Kawase’s armpit…so unfazed…it’s kinda funny, but only mildly.

Tuxedo cat…ergh. The differences between American and British English never ceases to trip me up…I mean, the term makes sense…it’s just the differences between the types of English I’m annoyed at.

If you observe the OP, you’ll see Haru has that collar…I’m not sure if that’s meant to be a spoiler then…

Haru basically has the mindset of Kaguya and Shirogane, which makes this hilarious (and yet it’s still justified due to being a believable mindset for a stray!).

S-Smug dog!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get out of the way of Haru-chan!

Shield Hero 4

“Draw your swords!” – Wasn’t there a rule saying Naofumi can’t use a sword anyway? Plus, Motoyasu has a spear, not a sword…

Balloon? Now, that’s funny!

Using magic to intervene is the cowardly action, methinks, Myne.

I find it interesting Naofumi sees Raphtalia as a little girl – it’s a perception of vulnerability, potentially weakness – when things are shown through his perspective.

Falling Through Starlight is beautiful, y’know that? Be-a-uuuuuuuuuuu-t-i-ful!

Magical Girl Spec Ops Asuka 4

Interestingly, Francine kinda looks like Mami (Madoka Magica).

Wait, is this woman Miura? (Sorry, I’m just wondering why Abigail – the blonde evil magical girl – would choose to use yakiniku to threaten people…)

Oh dear…it’s that train question (save one or save many).

Neding authority before you can actually do anything legal…now that sounds like Double Decker.

“Chef”? I was mortified when it came to the rusalka scene…but I think we already know why Povar is a chef…

CQC? Close quarters combat? Ooh, I’ve never heard it abbreviated before.

Well, I like how Povar and Rusalka Man (can’t spell Russian to save my life) always keep their salaries in mind. Makes them easier to see as evil.

Egao no Daika 5

Oh, this series has two moons? Kind of like Double Decker’s two suns, yeah?

I just realised Lily’s the only one with a skirt on her suit…

Morose Mononokean II 5

I don’t think I’ve seen a Fuzzy-centric episode ever since the first time we met the furball…

That hand on neck thing is apparently a CIA technique if I interpreted it right…just, it’s applied to a purple/white lion, so it’s hard to tell whether it’s the real thing…

Fluffy tadpole is best tadpole. All fluffy things are cute to me, even the lethal ones…I guess.

Seriously, if someone doesn’t call the animation of the Executive sakuga, I don’t know sakuga! That crow is some fancy animation!

Hanae’s mother is scarier than most youkai, given she can give me a nasty jump scare!

Mob Psycho II 5

This episode’s called Discord…which maks me think of the chat program of the same name…weird, huh?

Notably, it’s Dimple’s voice coming from Mob’s mouth…hmm.

That episode was real cool…it’s too bad by turning off the volume at the wrong time, I missed the Sajou no Hana song…

My Roommate is a Cat 5

Roku, Nana, Hachi…haha.

I noticed Haru has smaller eyes than Hachi…aside from the collar of course.

Aw…reunion too cute. I honestly think that this show has a fairly effective use of “filling in the gaps”, as it were, and thus making good use of cuts.

Double Decker! EX 1

Yep, we’re back with Double Decker!!! I’m glad to see it back, really.

Wait…ohhhhhhhhh. So Double Decker! doesn’t just refer to the bus in this show or the system. It means “2 Detectives” in Japanese (in a codeswitching sort of way). It was wordplay all along! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! I get it now!

This Deana assassin stuff must be a lie…

(after the commercial break) C’mon, Kirill, buddy. You’re drunk, y’know that, right…? Right??? Update: Oh, not drunk, dreaming. My mistake.

Oh, I was just saying that My Roommate is a Cat dos a nice job “filling in gaps”. Didn’t realise Double Decker did it as well. Also, how the heck is Doug unpopular with women???

So…Kirill actually got hired based on his feminine looks? Geesh, that Travis…

The thing I missed about this show was not being able to play the ED after an episode, so I’m glad to have it back!

Spec Ops Asuka 5

Having Kurumi fix up Nozomi’s arm kind of erases the consequences…but that’s what Kurumi’s for, right?

Barber Scissors…? Is this what happens when you take Kill la Kill way too seriously?

Wowee. Din’t think Sacchuu was capable of dealing nasty punches as well.

There’s gotta be some sort of parallel between Abigail and the queen vs Asuka and Kurumi…

Post-credits segment. Keep watching.

Shield Hero 5

Headbutt to the nuts! Oof!

When it comes to races, the one tune that comes to mind is one from the Dog Island (track 22 from this YouTube playlist).

I swear there was CGI during the race…on Filo.

Please don’t make jokes about Naofumi liking lolis, people. This is not that type of show…

Mononokean 6

Is it just me, or has this epiode been relying on the use of blue speech bubbles for humour more than normal?

It’s Mononokean: Sports Anime edition!

For some reason, I find the name “trashboat” hilarious. It was probably just “ponkotsu” (piece of trash) in practice, but the variation in English is really something to behold…

Ashiya sleeps like an old man, LOL. It must be cosy in that bed…

Moja is just adorable in whatever scene it appears in! Even Moja being dragged down a stream is cute~!

Relaxing your shoulders, huh? That reminds me that that’s a destress technique I haven’t used in a while. My head’s been spinning while I was trying to watch this episode, so I should probably get back to trying to do that stuff…after this episode, of course.

Price of Smiles 6

You think Spec Ops Asuka looks bad? Look at Price of Smiles melt in this “Yuni! You should recover!” scene.

For some reason, this one dude (I forget his name) being a father surprises me. He looks like the type to be single…

The female version of the name “Noel” is Noelle…get that right, people!

Layla’s right when she says one of the main causes of war is the struggle for resources and wealth.

Mob Psycho II 6

I noticed instead of a Mac or something, the computer is a “One” computer.

The board says something a lot more complicated than Saitama’s routine…which means One likes exercise. Maybe…probably.

“Codomo” phone, LOL.

The last time I heard of tofu in anime that I remember…was Boueibu. Something about Ryuu killing a man with tofu.

Somehow it didn’t occur to me until the eyecatch was over but the block…was tofu!

How do you even get drunk when there’s no alcohol in the drink??? (LOL)

Oh! Shinra again!

…Also Jodo Kirin!

Shield Hero 6

Naofumi is giving 0 f**ks about the dressmaker’s love of Filo.

Why is Filo CGI…? It looks unnerving, to be honest with you.

My Roommate is a Cat 6

Eleventh grade…16? 17? Heck, Yugo looks 27, not 17!

Notably, “Comic Polaris” is the name of the magazine that publishes the manga of this. Hence “Novels Polaris”.

Heck, Subaru. In the internet age in particular, people write to affect others. I should know, as someone who did just that just a few years ago!

Oushitsu Kyoushi Heine movie

Yay, we’re back! Crunchyroll bringing over movies is definitely increasing my workload for these commentaries, so with all the new things I’ve added to my lists of priorities as of late, I wonder if I can keep up…

Hitting us with CGI in the first minute of the movie…oh man, how far does CGI go these days???

Honestly, in my brain Wagner (Classicaloid) = the twins (this movie) = the Beppus (Boueibu LOVE! LOVE!). They’re very similar in terms of personality…

In the same way, Bruno = Schubert from Classicaloid (but swap one’s Sensei for the other’s Senpai).

Licht = Motz.

It seems like someone liked ponytail!Licht enough to keep him here. So it really wasn’t just me, huh?

Seriously, what’s this “God of War” stuff anyway???

Man, vocal exercises? This takes me back to my piano-playing days…I was a sightreader and only had to do one of the two (out of sightreading and vocal stuff), but there was someone else who had to do both.

This piano is bugging me. Its white keys are black and its black keys are white!

Somehow, Heine’s small top hat suits him. It’s probably because he wears a small beret in that same position usually.

More CGI background characters…*sigh*

Hmm…soft power at its finest(?)

Seriously though, why did that evil Duke guy appear in this movie again??? He has zero use plotwise. Sure, he was important in the first season and if we ever get a second he’ll be important there, but here? Nada!

Have you noticed Heine is in all those dance positions a girl would normally be in??? Hmm! Interesting! But still…if there’s one thing I ever missed from the anime’s experience, it would be-oh, scratch that! This is my cue to watch the cheesy live-action dance ending! I missed it so much!

Egao no Daika 7

Seriously…who is Eins talking to??? Whose emperor???

They still haven’t revealed what this new guy’s name is, even after his introduction…well, technically he was introduced at the River Deese, but we still didn’t learn his name then. (Did we?)

Spec Ops Asuka 6

Is Mia just this show’s version of Kyouko (from Madoka Magica, but American of course)???

Oooooookay, that (with the kissing and stuff) is so not what foreigners are like, people…

Oh, goodness. Have I really been living with this stuff (girl x girl teasing, with Kurumi in particular being one of the more extreme examples I’ve seen) in my magical girl anime for years now? I mean, Suite PreCure is laced with the stuff…

If ordinary rigor mortis business is at work, then I’d say the heater is to speed up the rotting of the corpse…

LOL, there’s Halloween-class…and then there’s Voorhees-class…how appropriate for Disas.

“Only one of the Magical Five would’ve known about that phrase.” – My bets are on Peipei, but we’ll find out for sure…someday.

Mononokean 7

As much as I found the pillow fight scene with Fuzzy in it funny, I swear Abeno is a bit too sadistic for my own good. What is it with some women and their sadistic kinks…?

Abeno calling Ashiya “hunk of junk” makes me think Ashiya isn’t much of a Sousuke (from Classicaloid), but they do have a lot of similar character traits, now that I think of it…hmm.

For some reason, I think Abeno knew the conditions of the deal and what the deal entailed in advance, hence the training camp.

Seiza…means sitting on the floor in the position Ashiya was in (knees to the floor etc).

Mob Psycho II 7

“Cheeseburger Tornado”, LOL.

When Reigen got angry at the TV, I was just like, “It’s Shield Hero (Mob Psycho version)!” I.e. you con the conman and not turn the conned into a conman…or something like that.

Those microphones are so obviously CGI, people…

I know I’m a fan of Yuzuru Tachikawa, but episode 5 actually didn’t do too much for me, to be honest (even though it was visual spectacle, which is Tachikawa’s strong suit). However, while episode 7 looked less punchy overall, it was miles better…

“First-press limited edition? That is the absolute best decision.” – What is that referring to??? Update: It’s referring to the BDs...or DVDs...or both.

Update: Forgot to add Double Decker to the title and tags.

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thatyanderecritic · 5 years

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Deathless

Title: Deathless

Media: Book, Author: Catherynne Valente

Yandere(s): Koschei the Deathless (Or as Julie and I like to call him: “Kosher”)

Yandere Scale: 1/5 (Julie: 0/5)

Criticism written by: Kai

Editor: Julie

Before we begin, Julie and I have two different views on this book. To keep things clean, I did the review while Julie did an analysis; which you can read here.

The Review:

Sigh… Kai here, back with another review. This time I’ll be reviewing the confusing and difficult to follow novel: Deathless. Bear with me as we go down this rabbit hole of a review.

Now booting Kai 2.0 … Version: Salty

Deathless is a story about… uh… Deathless is a tale about a girl named Marya (Mary? Maria? Idk how to pronounce any of these Russian names if it’s not Ivan or Dimitri.) who get whisked away by the tsar of life: Kosher- I mean Koschei and become his wife. In the beginning of the book, Marya was seduced by Koshei and his magical lifestyle. After succeeding in the three tasked made by Baba Yaga (yeah, IDFK. Apparently the Baba Yaga and Koschei are siblings), Baba Yaga gives her blessing to Marya and Koschei’s wedding. But Marya was warned that she would leave Koschei in the future and fall in love with a man named Ivan. Marya swears that’ll never happen; she’ll kill Ivan and eat his heart. Immediately starting in part 2, Marya falls in love with Ivan in the middle of fighting a war with Koschei’s brother (IDFK man, this shit is hard to follow). Marya runs away with Ivan and together they suffer in hunger and poverty. Koschei goes running to Marya and begs for her to take him back. Marya locks Koschei up in her basement (fuck man, I’m so lost) and had Ivan promise to never look in the basement. For a time, things seem to be well with Marya fucking Koschei in the day and banging Ivan at night. But Ivan, being a nosy motherfucker, looks in the basement and discovers Koschei. After Koschei tricks Ivan to give him some water to drink, Koschei regain his magic and kidnaps Marya. Now in part 3 (the final part), Marya and Koschei are living a happy married life in a small Russian town with happy villagers. Things are going swimmingly till Marya gives birth to a little girl… that little girl being the embodiment of Koschei’s death. Koschei died and Marya is freed. Turns out that Koschei had the two of them trapped in a peaceful dream within an egg. But the thing is, Koschei’s death is hidden within an egg… which is why he died (Don’t look at me, I’m fucking tripping as it is as I’m recalling the story). Now back in the real world, Marya looks for Ivan; who was dying from old age. After watching Ivan die, Marya moves on and discovers a town like the town in the dream. There, all her fairytale friends are living there as humans.Only the Baba Yaga recalls Marya and explains how Koschei’s brother won the war and turn all the mystical into the normal. Koschei is still alive in the village and Marya decided to visit him to see if he remembers her… I guess. The ending is ambiguous.

Anyways… what the fuck did I just read? Well… Julie and I technically didn’t read the full novel. Our knowledge comes from a combination of: an 11 hour audiobook of Deathless (which we didn’t finish because we were confused as fuck), the wikipedia summary, two reviews on Deathless, and the actual hard copy of the actual book (which we didn’t finish because we were confused as fuck). Let me just complain here and say this book is damn near unreadable and almost unintelligible. First, people talk as if they’re the goddamn Riddler from Batman. Characters were unable to straight up say what they mean, phrases have double meaning, and it was like reading the writings of Dr. Seuss’s less talented brother. Descriptions were just a fucking pain in the ass to comprehend. Everything about this book was a fucking mental gymnastics. Julie and I had to stop every five minutes to decode what the hell is going on.

You see that? All that flowery words bullshit? Marya is just throwing up. JUST SAY SHE’S THROWING UP AND MOVE ON. CHRIST. It took Julie and I three minutes to figure out what this description was suppose to be about. And this was one of the easier descriptions. It doesn’t even help that the story itself is just plain nonsensical. It felt like I was reading the words of the author after she puked out alphabet soup. Already, Deathless was basis on a Russian folktale that was already wild. With the combination of awful dialogue and confusing description, it was just a maze of a book to traverse.

I get some people will argue with me that this is a good book. For one, I probably just don’t understand it because it’s not my culture. Sure, you might be right. But so is the author… Catherynne is an American. Not Russian. Besides, the original folktale that Deathless is based on was easier to follow than this crap. Next argument some might have is that “Deathless is too sophisticated for your simple mind to handle.” No. It’s not. It’s ridiculously complicated for no reason. Complicated does not mean well written. There is nothing wrong with writing something simpler… you’re trying to create a novel that all adults regardless of age can understand. Truth be told, the writing in Deathless reminds me of the stuff you’ll find in creative writing class. This sort of story would get notes everywhere saying “Less description. More action” or “What do you mean? Clarify.” You're not the next Da Vinci code but a storyteller. Can’t tell a story if it ain’t readable. To compare this book, I would compare it to those research papers you would read in college. Lots of information but written by someone who’s trying to sound smart.

Moving on from my bitching, let’s talk about the one thing people care about the most: the yandere and characters. Based on what Julie and I were able to figure out, Koschie is the supposive yandere here. First let’s talk about him. Besides talking like the chester cat from Alice in Wonderland, Koschie was a surprisingly passionate guy who really cares about Marya. The best scenes with Koschie are the scenes when he isn’t talking and just physically showing his physical affections for Marya (lol). You know the phrase: “You look better with your mouth closed”? That fits perfectly for Koschie. Koschie’s physical interactions with Marya is the only straightforward thing with this entire novel.It was the rain in a desert. Anyways… even though Koschie was a passionate guy, it doesn’t make him a yandere. He breaks many of our rules… but the biggest one he broke was that Koschie still fucks other women besides Marya and keeps a collection of his past wives in a factory. I know the anon explains that these wives were actually Marya in another cycle? But honestly, it doesn’t change anything for us. Btw, anon, you’re seriously a champion for figuring that out. Julie and I did not know at all that this was supposed to be a cycle at all. Shit… I feel like we’re a part of game theory for trying to figure out what this author even means. Spoiler alert: If you have to do a conspiracy theory on your novel, your book ain’t that great.

Sorry… back to Koschie. Anyways, Koschie says some pretty words here and there. He sounds pretty yandere on paper… I guess. But Koschie bangs other chicks and lets Marya bang other dudes too on the side. Sure, I guess this is a progressive poly relationship. Good for them. But poly relationship plus yandere? It just doesn’t mix. This ain’t it chief. Koschie skims on the edge of being a yandere and being not a yandere. Sure he kidnaps Marya, kill some dudes that have the name Ivan, and say some possessive shit to her, but the actions just doesn’t line up. I don’t know… with the cycle theory in play here, I just see Koschie as a broken man who’s trying to reclaim control over his life. Not exactly a yandere per say. Like imagine: getting cuckold by some normal human, over and over again. Shit, I would go crazy too. I feel really bad for Koschie for falling in love with/having a wife like Marya. Apparently, Koschie and Marya are the same type of people but idk man… Marya is kinda of a crazy bitch too.

I’ll just briefly talk about Marya now. As we all know, a female lead defines a yandere. And Marya? Yikes man. I don’t know where to start with her. First off, Marya somehow managed to be both smart and stupid at the same time. We see that she’s clever enough to solve Baba Yaga’s tasks but she so goddamn stupid. Because of her curiosity, she’s extremely meddlesome and got Koschie almost killed even though he told her not to fuck with the egg… yet she fucks with the egg anyways. Then we jump to part two where Marya is more jaded and blames Koschie for all her misfortune (Idk). It’s not like he did anything bad to her. Honestly, reading their interactions, Koschie has been nothing but a gentleman to her. Besides the fact he bangs other women and like to do some weird power play on Marya, he’s pretty chill. If anything, she brought her own misfortune herself. She chased after Koschie because she’s fascinated by magic and wanted to be part of that world. Now that she’s part of that world, she doesn’t want to bare the burden of it anymore and return back with the humans; with Ivan. Btw, Marya wanted to sort of “keep” both Ivan and Koschie at the same time (because she’s thirsty). I mean… I get the sentiment, but Koschie literally stated that he wasn’t comfortable with that but Marya had her bitchy mode where she scratched Koschie and told him not to talk to her in that way (Weird flex but okay?). Ivan wasn’t cool with the arrangement either, hence why Marya left with Ivan. But oh the irony. Marya left with Koschie to avoid suffering, hunger, and fascination for magic but now with Ivan, Marya returned back to a life of suffering, hunger, and the normal. Again, more irony, Marya and Ivan have a fight because of their lifestyle. This is the part where Koschie comes begging at her door. And Marya, only being able to think with her vagina now, bangs Koschie and locks him in her basement. Just like how Koschie did a weird power play over Marya, Marya now does a power play over Koschie. One of the more fucked up lines Marya said to Koschie was along the lines of, “Lol. Look at you. Trapped in my basement… waiting for my attention while you abandon the war outside.” Like mega yikes my dude. I know Julie and I asked for a twisted female protagonist, but we asked for a relatable twisted female protagonist. Not… this. I guess Marya is strong? But… weird. Honestly… I lost any relatability with Marya the minute she started bouncing between Ivan and Koschie. And with how… sadistic she became towards the end, I don’t blame Koschie’s action. That’s a broken man with possible stockholm syndrome at this point.

Anyways… to summarize… I don’t know what I just read. Story is confusing. Characters are weird. I just have a bunch of puzzle pieces in my hand and a couple of yandere like lines. I suppose I can appreciate Koschie as an aesthetic. He says some pretty neat things, physically sounds sexy, and does some yandere like actions. So… I give him one yandere pity point for the attempt.... He might have shine better if the story was actually good.

Overall score: 1/10

#deathless #catherynne m. valente #book #novel #male yandere #yandere #review #opinion

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dillydedalus · 6 years

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books i read in october

will i even read anything this month? MAYBE NOT (i did.)

der gang vor die hunde (going to the dogs), erich kästner the restored full text of kästner’s fabian, a satirical novel about late weimar berlin and how it is.... going to the dogs. it’s witty, everyone is dancing (and uh, fucking) on the edge of the abyss, fabian sees the end of europe everywhere he looks, but my favourite bits were honestly kästner’s incredibly sharp & funny postscripts (one to the moral censors, one to the art critics - ‘this book is not for confirmees, no matter how old they are’), and the blurb calling berlin ‘der zärtliche moloch der moderne’/’the tender moloch of modernity’. 3.5/5

hier ist noch alles möglich, gianna molinari longlisted for german book prize. a short novel about a woman who decides to become a nightguard at a rundown factory where a wolf has been seen (maybe). mostly, it’s ramblings about borders/boundaries, intrusions and separations of space (the wolf coming into the factory, the fence of the factory, islands etc). it’s interesting, but it’s a bit too long for what it did. 2.5/5

when hitler stole pink rabbit, judith kerr i’ve had this book for like. probably 15 years? god. anyway, somehow i never read it and picked it up now to get it off the unread shelf. it’s a fictionalised account of kerr’s childhood as a refugee after her jewish family leaves germany just before the nazis come into power, and their struggle to make a living and find their place in the countries they escape to. it was really well-done, not overly didactic or sentimental & i should have read it as a kid i guess! 3/5

die liebe unter aliens, terézia mora short story collection. i listened to the audio book, which only has 5 of the 10 stories (which i didn’t know before), so that’s a bit disappointing. anyway, the title means ‘love among aliens’, but sadly there were no aliens :(. just alienated people trying to find something/themselves/etc. i liked mora’s style, but the only story i rly liked was one about a japanese prof who falls in love with a goddess. 2.5/5, gave it 3/5 on goodreads bc i only heard half the stories

buried in the sky, peter zuckerman & amanda padoan i find mountaineering disasters morbidly fascinating & am kinda obsessed with them (throwback to last year when i read into thin air & told everyone who’d listen not to climb everest & they were all like.... wasn’t planning to but okay??). k2 is only slightly less high than everest but much more difficult technically (all the climbers r like.... oh everest is so easy i wanted a real challenge like.... k). anyway this book is focused on a particular disaster on k2 during which 11 people died, as well as on the position, history, culture etc. of the indigenous ethnic groups that live in these regions & work for mountaineering expeditions (Sherpas being the most well-known but there are others as well!). since the authors weren’t on this expedition, it’s not quite as harrowing and immersive as into thin air but it’s still plenty harrowing! horrible deaths! the deaths of the high altitude workers were incredibly tragic & while obvi the mountaineers’ deaths are sad too, i feel like they know what they’re getting into & they’re not doing it out of economic necessity but for like... fun? the rush? pride? idk. but anyway if you don’t wanna die... don’t go into the DEATH ZONE. it’s literally called the DEATH ZONE DON’T GO THERE. anyway yeah i find everything about extreme mountaineering super fascinating & terrifying & this is a good one, tho into thin air would be still my #1 rec. 4/5

wenn es nur licht gäbe, bevor es dunkel wird, iunona guruli tbh i mainly got this on overdrive bc i hadn’t really read anything from georgia (the country in the caucasus, not the american state). it’s a short story collection (mostly about/set in georgia but written in german) on themes like drug abuse, gendered, sexual & domestic violence and depression, so... not much fun here! there is a dreamlike quality to some of the stories which i think contrasted well with the quite dark themes, but overall the stories were too similar & blended together too much for me, and sometimes the style seemed a bit too laboured. 2.5/5

unter weißen, mohamed amjahid really good, persuasive & engaging examination of racism in germany, accessible without being basic. i haven’t really read a book like this about specifically german racism and its particularities, especially one so recent (it was published in 2017 & the context of the ‘refugee crisis’ is rly important). amjahid (who’s a journalist with die zeit currently) works w/ a lot of personal anecdotes and they are uh. horrible. like, one chapter is about the paternalistic side of willkommenskultur, where he goes to munich train station to interview volunteers welcoming refugees and some of them immediately cast him as ‘helpless ignorant refugee in need of our benevolence’ & dehumanise him to the point that they don’t even register that he’s speaking to them in german like. fuck. 4/5

desintegriert euch!, max czollek (actually finished this a bit later but it goes well with the amjahid book) while amjahid discusses racism in germany both in general terms and specifically islamophobia, czollek focuses on german antisemitism and advocates for disassimilation & alliances between different marginalised groups in rejection of german ‘leitkultur’. also he talks about daniel kahn in a chapter on jewish revenge & i love daniel kahn. 4/5

the white guard, mikhail bulgakov (tr. from russian) look, the situation in kiev after the russian revolution and the multiple military take-overs of the city is interesting and all (tho incredibly confusing if like me you don’t know who any of the factions are or what they want), but where’s the devil? where are the witchy vibes? where is the demonic talking cat? 3/5

der vogelgott, susanne röckel so this was shortlisted for this year’s german book prize and i can totally see why. it’s disturbing, compelling, has a lot of conceptually interesting weird stuff going on and it almost really worked for me. it’s a story about three siblings haunted by a strange & horrible birdgod after their father, a hobby ornithologist and taxidermist, kills a bird he shouldn’t have. while the siblings live very different lives - one goes to a fictional african (?) country to work for an ngo, one is working on her doctoral thesis on a medieval german painter, the third is a journalist researching strange fears and dreams that are troubling the city’s children - all of them become entwined with this birdgod and the cult(s) surrounding it. my problem is mainly that the book uses the ‘too horrible to describe/comprehend’ trope way too much, which is effective the first few times but eventually wears off & just becomes annoying and like.... so what?? also, the first sibling’s chapter uses some very colonialist tropes about the savage religions and customs of the uncivilised natives, and while there is an attempt at subversion here (e.g. the same cult being present in medieval germany apparently), it didn’t feel like enough for me. but overall this is a really interesting, disturbing little book. 3.5/5

king lear, shakespeare (for uni) honestly... i expected more from this, tho to be fair reading it in a rush for a seminar (that ended up getting cancelled anyway) probably wasn’t ideal. overall i just.... didn’t feel anything about anyone (except the YAAAS BITCH vibes for regan/goneril/edmond’s shenanigans), many characters’ choices & actions didn’t make sense to me & i was disappointed that cordelia wasn’t a character as much as a ~pure selfless angel for lear to have feelings about. 2/5

currently reading: the bloody chamber by angela carter which i’m high-key loving, white dancing elephants by chaya bhuvaneswar, also two comics/graphic novels: john lewis’ march series and saga book one

#the books i read #in which i have a lot of feelings about mountaineering disasters #long post #der vogelgott frustrated me so much there were several scenes were something is being revealed to the siblings #and they are like 'what i heard/saw was so horrible that i literally almost fainted & have almost no memory of it'#which..... okay so why should i be scared then #i didn't even want more answers/certainty just more.... pay-off??

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surveys-at-your-service · 6 years

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Survey #181

"wine is fine, but whiskey’s quicker. suicide is slow with liquor.”

What’s the farthest you’ve gone with someone? I mean I'm not a virgin? Have you ever said “I love you” to someone and didn’t mean it? I don't believe so. Do your parents usually agree with your partners-of-choice? Yeah. I really don't know how Dad feels about me being with a girl currently, but he likes her personally. How many people do you like right now? (even the slightest bit) Legitimately, just one. My "I don't actually know this celeb but I'd 10/10 marry them" thing is just a joke. Do you believe little kids can fall in love? My guess is not until you reach a certain level of maturity where you can grasp the seriousness of "falling in love." But who really knows. What was the last dream that you can remember? On the morning I'm answering this one, I swear I had like ten or something last night. As time goes on though, they're starting to blur together. The one that stands out most tho is my sis and I became the first Americans (yes, that was a detail) to fully infiltrate a Russian, secret government base without being killed. Look idk either. Have you ever been rickrolled? Maybe? Do you like balogna? Yeah. It was my favorite lunch meat as a kid. Are you supersticious? No. What animals have you ridden? Horses and ponies off the top of my head. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done to someone you don’t know in public? I don't think I've done anything notable for this. Do you ever stick gum under seats? No, and my opinion of you greatly plummets if you do. Do you live somewhere where it’s completely safe to walk alone at night? I don't think those exist anymore. Have you ever lived with someone who was a total slob? When Dustin pretty much lived in the apartment with us... jc. Would you rather be able to talk to animals or be fluent in every language? Talk to animals. Does your kitchen have a pantry? No. Have you ever interviewed a job applicant at your workplace? N/A Have you ever gone over 3 months without shaving/waxing your legs? I don't shave them anymore unless I fear there's even a tiny chance someone might see them... Thanks, society. Are you high-maintenance? Definitely not. Would you ever consider being a foster parent? Being any kind of parent is off the list for me. What are some things that make others cry, that don’t make you cry at all? Idk, I'm a crybaby. Most sad songs don't, I guess. Are you a very detail-oriented person? Or are you better at seeing the big picture? Definitely the former. Do you have any upcoming plans with friends? lol What kinds of leisure activities did your family do together when you were growing up? Watch TV or sometimes play board games, probs. Occasionally all go in the pool together. Dragons or unicorns? I'm all 'bout dragons, man. Do you wish vampires existed? Um no. Do you sing in front of people you don’t know very well? How about dance? Nope. Have you ever sang/spoke/preformed in front of people on a stage? Sang in church choir and elementary chorus, read my D.A.R.E. report, and was in groups at dance recitals and competitions. Is it more fun or scary to do so? If you haven’t, then what would you think? Eh, it depends on your level of confidence in what you're performing. Like with dance, I was never that nervous as I knew what I was doing. Singing wasn't bad either because I was with others. Now reading aloud, alone, fuck that. I think anything alone would be scary. Would you rather slit your wrists than read Cosmo? I normally delete just plain stupid questions, but I'm leaving this here to hope and pray the author of this question sees me sincerely and genuinely say fuck you, you goddamn fly-swarmed shitpile with a maturity level surpassed by an infant's. Did you ever like barbies? Do you currently like barbies? They weren't really my thing, but I'd play with them if my sisters or friends wanted me to. What’s your favorite hit song right now? I don't know what the hit songs are right now. What’s your favorite element? (fire, water, air) Out of the traditional four, fire. Have you ever been to a wild party? No. Have you gone through any drastic life-changing experiences? If so, what was the most drastic? Depression and anxiety manifesting was absolutely life-changing, and then when you consider it resulted in PTSD, obviously the break-up was incredibly serious, but it also led towards my gradual recovery. What traits from your father would you like to pass down to your children? Don't want kids, but I'll answer as if I did. If that were the case, I like how he's not one for grudges, is very openly himself, and is super goofy. What is your biggest fault? It probably all boils down to my anxiety and trust issues resulting in me jumping to conclusions. If you could transform into any animal what would it be and why? Probably a snow leopard. Climate I love, super pretty, and I know I'd wanna be a feline anyway. What are the first three things you do when you wake up? Check the time, go to the bathroom, then it varies. Can you remember the first time you ever talked to the person you love/like? Does he/she remember? Ha, sure do, both through text and Skype... I'm sure she remembers the basics at least, too. Would you be able to have a relationship with someone you didn’t find attractive, if they had a nice personality and treated you well? Yeah. Have you ever really liked someone to begin with, then changed your mind about them? Maybe? Does your significant other/crush know about your Tumblr? Does he/she look at it? Yeah, and we follow each other, so. Do you ever feel a desire for sex at inappropriate times? Define "inappropriate?" What was the last thing that one of your parents bought for you? Fast food. Think about your first boyfriend/girlfriend. Did that person make you happy? What went wrong in the relationship? Sure, but just as friends. If you decided to dye your hair, would you choose to go lighter or darker? Lighter. I want more colorful hair. Is there a TV show or movie in which you’re incredibly emotionally attached to the characters? I don't think so "incredibly" since Meerkat Manor. Would you rather arrive super early or super late to class? Early. What’s something really basic that worries or troubles you on a consistent basis? It's a wonder I'm blanking here considering I know there's a load of things. What do you use the internet for the most? YouTube. On a scale of one to ten, how good is your memory? A goddamn one. It's been exceptionally awful lately. Do you worry about money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YEAH. Do you have any health problems that are unusual for your age? Well, the memory thing, though it's probably just a side effect of my meds or actual ADD. My knees are atrocious, though, and after many, many tests, we still can't figure out what's wrong with them. What’s the longest nap you’ve ever taken? When does it no longer qualify as a nap? Maybe like... four hours at max? Are you more likely to expect the best or the worst of a situation? The worst. Always. Have you ever said or done something in public that resulted in a stranger’s response? Possibly. How many serious relationships have you been in? Two. Do you think you have a vivid imagination? Very, personally. What was the last song you listened to? "Sick Like Me" by In This Moment. How many hours a day do you spend on Facebook, if any? Not even one. Do you own your favorite film on DVD? Maybe? Idk if we replaced the VHS. Have you ever been so angry that you screamed out of nowhere? On one occasion I basically screeched my lungs out on the porch. What’s your opinion on Nicki Minaj? I guess as a rapper she's good, she's indisputably quick as fuck, but I'm not a fan personally. Do you like having your lip softly bitten when you’re kissing? Oh fuck yes. Have you ever been on a boat? Yeah, when Dad would take me fishing and also on a 5th grade field trip to a horse-inhabited island near one of the lighthouses. We couldn't go to the lighthouse because the water was too rough. Have you ever been hopelessly in love with a celebrity? You can't be "in love" with someone you've never met and don't know personally. Generally speaking, do you like acoustic or original versions of songs better? Hm... tied, I think. What was the last band shirt you wore? Otep. Do you follow any celebrities on Twitter? I use Twitter only for Mark. That is all. What was the last flavor of pudding or yogurt you ate? Chocolate. What was the last thing you bought online, and how about in an actual store? With my own money, online it was Sara's ring I believe, and in a store was a snack. When was the last time you met someone who seemed very unpleasant? Hm. I honestly don't go out and meet people enough to answer this. Does anyone have a romantic interest in you, that you don’t return? Possibly, but it doesn't matter. Have your parents met the person you’re currently interested in? Yeah. What was the last alcoholic drink you tried for the first time? Did you like it? Oh my fucking god, some kind of "fancy" vodka in a margarita. It was disgusting. Are your eyes the same color as your siblings’ eyes? Only my brother. What food(s) have you eaten a lot of recently? Nutrition/meal replacement shakes. Do you use the microwave a lot when it comes to cooking food? Yeah, 'cuz I can't cook. Are you currently trying to get over someone? No. Do you know anyone who’s been on TV? If so, which show? Not to my knowledge. Do you have any lockets with pictures inside? No. Have you ever liked a football player? No. What was the last thing you learned? Some snacks rats can eat. Do you like Chinese food, Mexican food, or American food better? American. I'm very picky with all foreign food, actually. What’s your favorite scent? Freshly-baked bread, coffee, honeydew, lilacs... If you could house any pet, what would it be? Out of all pet options, uh... I suppose a horse or Saint Bernard if I had the means to properly care for them, too. Do you pluck your eyebrows? No. Do you like to swing? YEAH. How about jumping on a trampoline? I would if my knees weren't shit. If you could have any car, what kind would it be? Idk. I'm not educated on cars enough. What’s your favorite fast-food restaurant? I'm a slut for Wendy's. How often do you like to have sex? I'm not in a position where that's ever a thing yet. It wasn't something I thought about with Jason either, but we were pretty regular with sexual affection so we never went very long without, anyway. What’s your definition of weird? I don't care to define it, honestly. "Weird" can be good, bad, neutral... It's too vast a term and super subjective. Do you use shaving cream? That or lotion when I shave my legs. Have you ever personally known any girl who shaved their head? Well, she's an online friend, but I'd count her. Have you ever coughed up blood? I don't believe so. Who was the last person you hugged? My niece or nephew. What’s some of the worst pain you’ve ever felt? Mental: heartbreak and abandonment (both without any obvious prologue), rejection from who I cared about most, as well as deep hopelessness. Physical: having a cyst drained, an internal hemorrhoid, fracturing my wrist, having my tongue piercing redone and more accurately, a severe case of constipation I had as a little kid, an ear infection that made me want to chop it off and all out, a concussion, menstrual cramps before I was put on the pill... What kind of mouse pad do you have? I use a trackpad. What color is your mouse? ^ What’s your favorite dessert food? Ice cream, donuts, or red velvet cake omlllll. What is the closest thing to you right now that is alive? My dog Teddy. Are you an outcast? By the actual definition, no, though I feel it occasionally. Do you exercise? Ugh, no. I'm working on building back up my motivation to do Wii Fit again. What’s your favorite carnival food? (cotton candy, corn dogs, funnel cake) I haven't been to enough and gotten food to know many at all. Are you a very open-minded person? I think I am, and I feel that improves further like, daily. Are you modest? Probably sounds immodest to say, but I know I am. What kind of guys/girls do you usually fall for? Above all else, my consistent weakness seems to be the "weirdos." The ones that really stand out in their uniqueness. Do you skate? No. I mean, I'm capable of rollerblading, but it's not something I do every weekend or something. If you were to make it big with your own band what would it’s name be? Hell if I know. HAHA WAIT. My old username in some places, BulletsxButterflies, was based off my Rock Band band "Bullets And Butterflies" and like can you say #myaesthetic so that'd be pretty cool I suppose. ... Although it was inspired by the song "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" and I don't wanna get sued so like- What’s your favorite kind of pasta? Just normal spaghetti with sauce and meatballs. Would you rather a friend come over to your house or you go over there? I GO OVER THERE. I am a SHIT host and there's nothing to do here anyway. What’s the perfect first date? Go to a sit-down restaurant (doesn't need to be expensive at all), just the two of you, and *talk*. Don't touch your phone, just talk and listen with honest interest in your partner. I think this is especially important if you started dating shortly after meeting, as now that you're together, you really need to get to know each other. If you were good friends prior, you should already be pretty familiar with the other, and then I think things are a bit more flexible. Have you ever had rabies? No. Do you know anyone who ever had to get a rabies shot? *shrugs* Ever eaten deer? Duck? Squirrel? How about lamb? No. Have you ever received a note in your locker? I believe I did in middle school from Aaron? What was the last birthday present you bought for someone? A personalized chameleon mug for my darling. Did you get grounded often as a child? No more than usual, I guess? If you have a car, how much does it take to fill up your gas tank? N/A What’s your favorite album from your favorite music artist? Ozzy's "Black Rain." Every song is absolutely amazing, replayed more times than I ever wanna count, and it was my introduction to metal. Was the last person you held hands with a significant other? No, Aubree took my hand as well as she could to take me to her brother's room. Do you remember the brand of your first cell phone? Uhhhh... Blueberry, maybe? What is your Facebook cover picture? A pink pastel background-type thing. Last video game you played? Shadow of the Colossus. I beat it all over again to start my Time Attack grind, but I'm thinking of waiting til I get the PS4 remake one day to do so. When did you last try a new restaurant? Back when I was up at Sara's again. Does “out of sight, out of mind” work for you? Usually no. Do you have any friends whose birthday is this month? MY BABY If you have a favorite actor/actress, which of their movies is your favorite? For Betty White, idk. Depp, Alice in Wonderland. Are you currently expecting anything to arrive in the mail? No. What is your favorite kind of salad? Just bring me a ship full of Olive Garden's salad and I'll be g. Do you own a tablet of any kind? No. How many minutes is the longest song in your music library? I'm not sure, but off the top of my head, probably "Call of Ktulu" by Metallica. What is a brand name you don’t really care for? Any?? Idc. Do you prefer sleeping in complete silence or with background noise? Not complete silence, but quiet, simple background noise. When was the last time you weighed yourself? Today. As I do almost everyday even tho you're not advised to. Oops. Would you convert to a different religion if your fiancé/fiancée was of a different faith? No. The world is ending, and you can save one group of five people: who would be the five people that you save? Just five ah screw you man. Considering both those I hold close to myself but also people I feel would help recover the world for the better, and also assuming you don't include animals: Sara, Mom, Mark Fischbach, my psychiatrist (he's so fucking knowledgeable on medication that the world does not need to lose all that information), and probably Jane Goodall. Well idk, she's up there in age and may not last very long, but. asjfapwuw this is a hard question, I'm trying to consider who I love personally but also who would be capable of properly rebuilding humanity, or at least give us last six (if I'm alive, too?) a happy end to our lives. What is one thing that you are proud of, that you think lacks praise/lacks appreciation from the people around you? It could be a simple thing; it could be a secret thing. Ummmm... idk. What is the funniest one-liner Tumblr text post you’ve ever read? THERE'S SO MANY What is the absolute hardest thing about staying alive? Staying in a mentally sound place. If you're not okay in your own head, that makes living so, so very hard, and too many people get there. What is a book that has been recognized as ‘great literature’ that you dislike? Why? *shrugs* I enjoyed those I recall reading. Except one I don't remember the name of. Do you believe in the supernatural? Absolutely, 110%. What was the last thing you cried about? Probably my current groundhog day cycle. Are you mad at yourself about anything? Always, sure, but in like, the back of my mind. It doesn't dominate my thoughts. What was the last thing you cooked on the stove? Eggs. What pharmacy do you use? Harris Teeter's. Are you proud of yourself or disappointed in yourself? Both. What do you consider the perfect temperature for winter? ~50 is my preferred temperature always. What does your umbrella look like? I think ours is black? What is something you wanted as a kid but never got? One of those little crane machines with stuffed animals in it. I had one for candy, I think... but apparently that wasn't enough for Young Brittany. What is something you were scared of as a kid? Porcelain dolls. Still make me uncomfortable. Do you like your current driver’s license picture? My permit one is HIDEOUS. What is your favorite Elvis song? "Devil In Disguise." Do you think you could be the next American Idol? Hell no. Do you prefer reading fiction or non-fiction? Fiction, easily. Do you prefer fruity candy canes or peppermint-flavored? I like both, but the former is my fave. Do you eat too much candy? No. If you ever took dance classes, what were your favorite classes? Jazz. Have you ever been bullied because of the things you like? I don't think so? Have you bullied others because they like things you do not? No. Were there any classes you enjoyed because of the teacher? Not "enjoyed," but made them better. Have you ever been a bad friend? I'm sure I have. Has a friend ever replaced you with somebody else? Yup. At least it really feels like it. Have you ever disliked something just because it was popular? Admittedly, I think there were some things when I was newly a teen and developing that "I'm not like others" mentality. Have you ever watched a movie just because it starred an actor you liked? Maybe? What about just because it starred an actor you thought was good-looking? ... I'm deadass tempted to see Aquaman because of this lmfao but I'm not going to. Are there actors/musicians you have met? No. Do you ever judge people based on the music they listen to? Nah. What would you say are your top five bands/artists? Gaaah... I'll try here. Ozzy, Metallica, Otep, Manson, and Korn, maybe? Has anyone ever told you that you were really pretty? Yeah. Do you listen to a wide variety of music? No. Most are some kind of metal and rock, but I do have some really random artists/bands I like, such as Melanie Martinez or Marina and the Diamonds. Did you ever go through a phase when you didn’t want to take medicine? No. Was the last book you read good? Yeah. Do you make grocery lists? I don't do the shopping, so no. Do you have stomach problems? It can be finicky every now and again, especially with "fancy" food. Do you enjoy editing photos? Yes! Peace signs or hearts? Hmmm, idk. I guess it depends on the style. What kind of pie is your favorite? None. Do you have a strong relationship with your parents? I feel very, very few parent-child relationships exist stronger than my mom's and mine. Dad and I are good, too. Do you know your best friend’s middle name? Yeah. Have you ever kissed someone that was high? No. Is your Facebook profile private? Yeah. How many true friends do you have? Like four? Who has your Facebook password? Me and Mom. Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? Pretty much never. Do you believe in aliens? I'm neutral. Do you like pineapple? Yessss. Is there anyone you dislike, that you have to see/speak to regularly? No. Are you living with anyone that isn’t related to you? No, if you don't include pets. How many people would you say you’ve been “in love” with? Two. Which one of your relatives are you most likely to argue/disagree with? MY GRANDMA. How much do you monthly pay for mortgage or rent? If you don’t, how much is your cell-phone bill? N/A What is your favorite grocery store to shop at, and how often do you shop for groceries? Sam's Club got them deals. But I don't do the grocery shopping. How many hours do you work a week? If you don’t work, do you plan on finding a job? If so, when? I'm getting help from vocational rehab now to find a job perfectly appropriate for me. Where did you have your first kiss? What about your last kiss? His bed; airport. When is the next time you will be going out of town? 18th for my therapy appointment. Hour away. What is the last thing you spoke to your father about? Phone bill. Where did you spend Christmas or any other winter holiday? My sister's house. Who in your life causes you the most stress or negative feelings? Myself. Do you like shopping alone? I wouldn't know. Do you have any scratches on your cell phone? A small one. When was the last time you blushed? Idk. Who is one person you met and automatically didn’t like? Most of my sister's exes. Almost all, really. Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? Well, the DS is in here. Have you ever done another person’s make-up? Jason's as just a joke. What is one thing you don’t like sharing? My drawings or writings if you're in my "real" life. Online is like... mostly np, but otherwise, don't fucking look. If I share a drink with you too, that means a loooot. Where on your body would you NEVER get a piercing? You know... ~the spot~ Which Adam Sandler movie do you like the most? Idk. Did your parents ever read stories to you before bed? Yes. Would you be considered more of a teacher’s pet or a class clown? I was inadvertently the teacher’s pet like... always. Do you have any family members who are mean to you for no reason? No. Do you have to do any yard work? No. Do you have a nativity scene in your home? Mom will put it up eventually. If you’re a girl, what color is your favorite bra? Navy. Would you rather make a snow angel or snowman? Snowman. What is the best antique shop in your town? *shrugs* Does creating make you happy? YES YES YES YES!!!! Do you have abusive family members? No. What US city would you most like to visit? Idk. What country in the world would you most like to visit? Japan, probably. Or Scotland. Do you have your wedding all planned out in your head? No. Do you sell things online a lot? No. Is there anyone you secretly miss? No. What color are your Christmas lights? On our tree that isn't up yet? Rainbow. Owls or penguins? Owls.

#survey #quiz #questions #random

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thecorteztwins · 7 years

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Mutant Empire, Book 3, Chapter 7

Hello guys! Welcome to another installment my liveblogging all the Magneto bits from the Mutant Empire trilogy of X-Men novels. Tagging the usual Magneto crew @malakhvent @hexiva @muffiewrites @magnetician @superiorvengeance @actually-i-prefer-magneto @taintedhero @magnet-dad For those new to this, the “X-Men: Mutant Empire” books are a trilogy written by Christopher Golden in the 1990s. They are novels, not comic books, and the X-novels occupy a very shakey/debated place in canon. That said, they’re excellent characterization sources (in my opinion), especially for characters that didn’t get much in canon, such as Carmella Unuscione or the Kleinstock brothers. However, the characterization for Magneto (not what anyone would call a minor character!) has also been amazing, and is probably the most well-balanced portrayal I’ve ever seen of him. So I figured people would be interested it it and thus I’ve been posting the bits that have him in it as I read. If you want to catch up, check my mutant empire tag!

Anyway, Chapter 7 starts with Magneto gathering the noncombatant mutants (crappy powers, many don’t pass for human) of Haven (what he has re-dubbed Manhattan) to explain to them that “Haven was for them” because they are “the real reason he created Haven. They needed sanctuary quite badly.” Aw! That’s sweet!

“Several could not contain their need to speak of their pasts, their pitiful existences before Magneto became their savior, and he allowed them the opportunity.” ...and that’s kind of dickish. And I love it, because it perfectly frames the balance of Magneto’s devotion to the welfare of his fellow mutants with his grandiose narcissism and how he looks down on others (including those he wants to save), but he still feels responsible for them in part likely because of that narcissism. He’s their savior, after all! We get to see one such mutant, whose bestial appearance made a normal life impossible for him, doing just this. He tells Magneto he waited his whole life for “salvation” and had almost given up. Okay, this hurts me man, this gets me RIGHT HERE IN THE FEELS. Up til now I’ve mostly been pointing out how even though Magneto’s new system sounds great (aside from “mutants as the nobility/ruling class” bit), it would actually unjustly disenfranchised a lot of already underprivileged people, but the fact is that it does do the opposite for these folks, and they deserve it and it breaks my heart to know that this will be taken away from them by the end of the book.

Anyway, then the Acolytes show up to tell him that the human military is attacking and we get this line that I find so bitterly hilarious given today’s state: “Unfortunately, it appeared that the American government was not as rational as he had believed.” WAS THIS LINE AS LAUGHABLE IN THE 90s AS IT WAS NOW? We’re also told that, as low as his opinion already is of politicians and soldiers, he’s astonished it just got lower due to this. We’re also given this statement that is...surprising, but true: “But at heart, he was an optimist.” It’s in reference to his hope that this whole thing could have gone peacefully because he had “no desire to see humanity destroyed, to see cities crumble” because he is above “such petty sadism” but looks like he’s gonna have to break a few eggs to make this omelette. So, why do I think it’s true he’s an optimist? Well, optimist is maybe not the right world. Idealist, more like. People always call Charles that, but one post I saw pointed out that if you look at how they go about things, Charles is the realist and Magneto is the idealist. Magneto thinks positive social change can happen overnight (and has tried to do exactly that) via grand upheavals and dramatic high-publicity attacks, whereas Charles believes in working slowly within the system in public...and privately having a paramilitary strike force who can publicly stop the “evil” mutants and thus hopefully change, little by little, people’s minds about all mutants being bad. Charles gets that real, lasting change takes time and work and a very unglamorous grind, whereas Magneto has a much less complicated and, in its own way, more rosy view of things---I can just make them all act how I want, and then everything will be better! Anyway, Magneto goes to kick some human ass...and who should pop into his brain for a chat but Charles? As a note, Charles addresses him as “Magnus” here and not “Erik” because that was what everyone called him in the 90s for some reason? I think maybe there was a retcon in the 1990s that “Erik” was a fake name/identity he created when he came to the USA, and that Magnus was his *actual* real name, and then it went back to Erik later...most tumblrs I see call him Erik Magnus Lehnsherr, but that might just be a fandom thing to reconcile this weirdness. And then we found out his original name all along was Max Eisenhardt anyway! I think that was in Magneto Testament (which came out in 2008). ...yeah his “real name” is kind of a mess of retcons and changes, basically. Comics! Anyway, the conversation is the usual, but here’s the jist and some highlights - Charles says he could shut down Magnus’s mind , Magnus said he never would. This is quite a bit of an oversight by Golden (the author) since by this point in canon, Charles had already done exactly that (Mags got better) - Charles: "Now that your Sentinels have attacked federal troops--" Magneto: "They started it!" Charles: "How mature of you." ACTUAL CANON DIALOGUE DJFDFS - Charles shows Mags, to his shock, that people are evacuating due to the threat of a nuclear attack. He says if the USA doesn’t do it, Russia will, even if it destroys NYC. I guess Russia was kind of the go-to guys for this in the 90s, since I think it was the Russians who technically shot down Asteroid M after Fabian manipulated Magneto into scaring them enough. - Charles says Magneto’s flaw has always been that he underestimates humanity - And I would say that Charles underestimates Magneto, because he says he doesn’t think Magneto will kill any of the X-Men in cold blood. In the 1990s, that definitely depends on the writer, pal. But then, of course Charles thinks the best of him. - There is a feeling of despair and Magneto knows it comes from Charles, which bothers him because Charles is the “self-described eternal optimist” Anyway, Charles is unable to get Magneto to back down, the conversation ends, and Magneto explodes a helicopter. The final words of the chapter: “By any means necessary.”

#xmen #x men #marvel #magneto #mutant empire #X men novels

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isitfake · 7 years

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A list of rejections of famous authors was circulating on Tumblr awhile back and, because Is It Fake was in exams at the time, Is It Fake got really into debunking them. It has now been more than a year and Is It Fake is just gonna put it up and let this roll.

See, they’re all or almost all from Rotten Rejections, a book written with a marvelous disregard for facts, and they’ve therefore been in circulation for more than twenty-five years. Some of them are entirely true; some of them are totally fake; a lot of them appear only in Rotten Rejections but can’t otherwise be disproven. Many of the stories behind them are fantastic.

As a general note, although this was only really useful for Plath, if you enjoy this we recommend “Publication is Not Recommended: From the Knopf Archives,” which is available on Project MUSE if you’ve got access and is just… it’s wonderful. Blanche Knopf was a riot.

Okay, let’s get going!

TRUE

Sylvia Plath: There certainly isn’t enough genuine talent for us to take notice.

Not only true, but actually much worse than depicted here. Internal rejection only. The editor, having been told that this is contest-winner Sylvia Plath’s book, rereads, and is marginally nicer and 500% more patronizing: "maybe now that this book is out of her system she will use her talent more effectively next time.” Accurate text available here: http://cloudyskiesandcatharsis.tumblr.com/post/57272275430/sylvia-plath-originally-submitted-her-novel-the

Emily Dickinson: [Your poems] are quite as remarkable for defects as for beauties and are generally devoid of true poetical qualities.

True! Thomas Niles to Thomas Wentworth Higginson, June 10, 1890— the brackets are wrong, because he was addressing another possible publisher, to say that he thought it would be “unwise to perpetuate” the poems, oh my STARS.

Ernest Hemingway (on The Torrents of Spring): It would be extremely rotten taste, to say nothing of being horribly cruel, should we want to publish it.

True, and directly to Hemingway himself. To F Scott Fitzgerald he managed to get up an “I am less violently opposed to Torrents of Spring than anyone else who has read it” but to Hemingway himself, nope, full no.

William Faulkner: If the book had a plot and structure, we might suggest shortening and revisions, but it is so diffuse that I don’t think this would be of any use. My chief objection is that you don’t have any story to tell. And two years later: Good God, I can’t publish this!

True. Both are true. They are so true.

The first refers to Sartoris/Flags in the Dust, and the story is really funny and sad. Faulkner sent it to Horace Liveright (his publisher) with enormous confidence: he called it the “damdest best book you’ll look at this year” and tried to ensure at this early stage that the printer not screw up his punctuation (“he’s been punctuating my stuff to death; giving me gratis quotation marks and premiums of commas I dont need.”) He also insisted that the title was perfect and that he had designed his own dust jacket which he would send by separate cover. Anyway, bye, he was going on a hunting trip, he looked forward to Liveright’s glowing acceptance!

Liveright did not exactly… do that. Besides the quote above he also noted how much he hated Mosquitoes, Faulkner’s last book, and how disappointed he was w/this one and how much he really wanted Faulkner not to submit it anywhere else, in case he got blacklisted, because the book was so, so bad.

WHOOPS

(Thanks to "Flags in the Dust and the Birth of a Poetics” by Arthur F. Kinney for those quotes.)

The second is about Sanctuary, a book Faulkner hated and described as a “cheap idea…deliberately executed to make money.” The full rejection, according to Faulkner in his introduction to the book, was “Good God, I can’t publish this. We’d both be in jail.”

Edgar Allan Poe: Readers in this country have a decided and strong preference for works in which a single and connected story occupies the entire volume.

Not quite the exact quote, because “(especially fiction)” should appear after “works” and “entire” should be “whole”— but true. Harper & Brothers rejected Tales from the Folio Club in 1836 with this phrasing, the second of their three reasons for turning the stories down. The first was that a lot of them had been printed already, and the third was that the papers were too “learned and mystical,” like spooky bonbons.

http://www.eapoe.org/papers/psbbooks/pb19781c.htm

Poe responded to this by writing The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym, which he privately referred to as a “very silly book”, and which is a classic of American literature.

MIXED TRUE/FALSE

Jack London: [Your book is] forbidding and depressing.

Sort of true. This rejection is from the Atlantic on the 3rd of May, 1900, it’s about “The Law of Life”, and it was a lot nicer than this, because according to Ellery Sedgwick’s "A History of the Atlantic Monthly, 1857-1909: Yankee Humanism at High Tide”, this was a period in which the Atlantic was being very ruthless and cynical about what would run, because depressing things didn’t sell commercially.

The full quote is, “We have heartily liked the vigor of it and the breadth of treatment with which you have written it. But the subject is forbidding—in fact seems to us depressing, and so the excellent craftsmanship of it has not changed our mind."

Stephen King (on Carrie): We are not interested in science fiction which deals with negative utopias. They do not sell.

True, but not about Carrie. It’s from Donald A. Wollheim at Ace Books and it’s about the Richard Bachman book The Running Man, which King had written after Carrie got rejected basically everywhere in the world. “The book, unfortunately, was not fantastic,” he later commented, which might’ve been because he wrote it over a weekend in a “low rage and simmering despair.” Thanks to the Stephen King Companion for this one.

UNATTESTED (AND, ONE SUSPECTS, NOT REAL)

Rudyard Kipling: I’m sorry Mr. Kipling, but you just don’t know how to use the English language.

Unattested. ID’d as the publisher of the San Francisco Examiner or Call writing in 1889, or is it 1899? Yeah, probs not, and Is It Fake couldn’t find it.

That said, the Call fucking hated Kipling. For example, the San Francisco Call did write about Kipling in 1899; it castigated him for his poem “the White Man’s Burden,” saying, “the white man’s burden is to set and keep his own house in order. It is not required of him to upset the brown man’s house under pretesce of reform and then whip him into subjection whenever he revolts at the treatment.” (Among other sources, can be found here.)

Another review of “The Lesson” from 1901 opens "KIPLING'S latest poem, 'The Lesson,’ must be very gratifying to Mr. Alfred Austin, for, if it does not confirm Austin's right to the office of Poet Laureate, it at least shows that Kipling has no better right.”

Dr. Seuss: Too different from other juveniles on the market to warrant its selling.

Unattested. But he was indeed rejected 27 times for his first book.

The Diary of Anne Frank: The girl doesn’t, it seems to me, have a special perception or feeling which would lift that book above the ‘curiosity’ level.

Unattested. The diary was rejected by 15 publishers before publication, but Is It Fake can’t find any of them who specifically said this. Here’s one from Knopf:

In the summer of 1950, Alfred A. Knopf Inc. turned down the English-language rights to a Dutch manuscript after receiving a particularly harsh reader’s report. The work was “very dull,” the reader insisted, “a dreary record of typical family bickering, petty annoyances and adolescent emotions.” Sales would be small because the main characters were neither familiar to Americans nor especially appealing. “Even if the work had come to light five years ago, when the subject was timely,” the reader wrote, “I don’t see that there would have been a chance for it.”

Joseph Heller (on Catch–22): I haven’t really the foggiest idea about what the man is trying to say… Apparently the author intends it to be funny – possibly even satire – but it is really not funny on any intellectual level … From your long publishing experience you will know that it is less disastrous to turn down a work of genius than to turn down talented mediocrities.

Unattested. Catch-22 (or as it was called at the time, Catch-18) was rejected over and over again, but this exact language is just vapor.

On the other hand, we have some of the language of acceptance, thanks to Vanity Fair:

“I … love this crazy book and very much want to do it,” Gottlieb said. Candida Donadio was delighted by his enthusiasm. Finally, someone got it! “I thought my navel would unscrew and my ass would fall off,” she often said to describe her happiness when negotiations went well with an editor.

And this incredible rejection from Evelyn Waugh:

Dear Miss Bourne:

Thank you for sending me Catch-22. I am sorry that the book fascinates you so much. It has many passages quite unsuitable to a lady’s reading

You are mistaken in calling it a novel. It is a collection of sketches—often repetitious—totally without structure.

Much of the dialogue is funny. You may quote me as saying: “This exposure of corruption, cowardice and incivility of American officers will outrage all friends of your country (such as myself) and greatly comfort your enemies.”

George Orwell (on Animal Farm): It is impossible to sell animal stories in the USA.

Unattested. It was rejected for a lot of reasons, but most of the ones I can find histories of were basically for it being anti-USSR at a time when the Russians were war allies. One publisher was basically ordered not to run it so as not to hurt the war effort, by somebody who later turned out to be a Soviet spy, like a lot of people in wartime Britain.

If you want to read T. S. Eliot rejecting Animal Farm for being too pro-Communist (not a joke) (jazz hands), you can find that here.

Vladimir Nabokov (on Lolita): … overwhelmingly nauseating, even to an enlightened Freudian … the whole thing is an unsure cross between hideous reality and improbable fantasy. It often becomes a wild neurotic daydream … I recommend that it be buried under a stone for a thousand years.

Unattested. Could be real and internal, but it was never given to Nabokov, because Nabokov gave us a recounting of his rejections, and this wasn’t in them.

Is It Fake’s fave bit: "Some of the reactions were very amusing: one reader suggested that the firm might consider publication if I turned my Lolita into a twelve-year-old lad and had him seduced by Humbert, a farmer, in a barn, amidst gaunt and arid surroundings, all this set forth in short, strong, realistic sentences. (He acts crazy. We all act crazy, I guess. I guess God acts crazy. Etc.)"

Richard Bach (on Jonathan Livingston Seagull): will never make it as a paperback. (Over 7.25 million copies sold)

Unattested, and Is It Fake doesn’t even have anything interesting to say about it.

H.G. Wells (on The War of the Worlds): An endless nightmare. I do not believe it would “take”…I think the verdict would be ‘Oh don’t read that horrid book’. And (on The Time Machine): It is not interesting enough for the general reader and not thorough enough for the scientific reader

Unattested. It is the personal opinion of Is It Fake that they’re both false. The Time Machine was actually commissioned as a novel, so it’s hard to see why it’d receive a rejection like that, and both stories were serialized before publication, not run in book form, so the War of the Worlds one doesn’t ring true. Fun supplemental fact--War of the Worlds was immediately pirated upon release and rerun as “Fighters from Mars,” localized to New York and Boston respectively and run with a story called “Edison’s Conquest of Mars” about how Thomas Edison took over Mars and Is It Fake is not making this up.

Herman Melville (on Moby Dick): We regret to say that our united opinion is entirely against the book as we do not think it would be at all suitable for the Juvenile Market in [England]. It is very long, rather old-fashioned…

This must be false (no one ever appears to have been under the delusion that Moby-Dick was a children’s serial, and in fact he got it printed kind of as like an art book, a 500-book edition with great critical acclaim and no sales) but since one can’t actually prove that it is, “unattested,” but Is It Fake would like to register the strongest possible objections to anyone who would bother to make up a reason for Herman Melville to be sad, dude was like high king and priest of making his own ass sad in the desert, leave him alone

If for some reason your life has been missing negative reviews of Moby-Dick you can find the full spectrum of praise to castigation here. Personal fave goes to the writer who said “There is nevertheless in it, as we have already hinted, abundant choice reading for those who can skip a page now and then, judiciously....”

PROVABLY FAKE >:(

Oscar Wilde (on Lady Windermere’s Fan): My dear sir, I have read your manuscript. Oh, my dear sir.

False. Is It Fake can’t believe even people talking about Oscar Wilde are getting the Oscar Wilde effect. It’s attributed to a bunch of people, but the oldest attribution found was to John Clayton, from Albert Chevalier’s autobiography of 1895, as

“My dear sir, I have read your play. Oh! my dear sir! Yours truly, John Clayton.”

As Albert Chevalier was a comedian & music hall performer and this is part of a collection of anecdotes, one is perhaps not super convinced this was ever real, from anyone. (There’s also a fwithout the last line: “My dear sir, I have read your play. Yours, Fred Thompson.”

Gertrude Stein spent 22 years submitting before getting a single poem accepted.

Possibly true, in that Is It Fake can’t find the date of publication of her first poem, but not substantively true, in that Three Lives ran when she was 35, so unless we’re counting whatever she submitted at 13, this is false. Stein was constantly and continually rejected though. Like just absolutely constantly, and crushingly too. This rejection letter is particularly amazing.

#mixed #famous authors #books #i don't know what to tag this. 'mistakes'#'lengthy mistakes'

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dolmen-gate · 7 years

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THE TOMB INCIDENT (Tapes #1-3, Engineer 11′s Journal: Big Moon)

[THE FOLLOWING SERIES OF ARTICLES ARE TRANSCRIPTIONS OF VARIOUS RECORDINGS (VISUAL AND AUDIO, VISUAL ONLY, AUDIO ONLY) AND PAPER DOCUMENTS COLLECTED FROM THE REMAINS OF THE NORTHERN ALASKAN “TOMB” RESEARCH CENTER 17. ALL SHARED DOCUMENTS WERE MADE PUBLICLY ACCESSIBLE ON JUNE 7, 2015 BY RUSSIAN FEDERATION AUTHORITIES. CONTEXT GIVEN WHEN NECESSARY. WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INCIDENTS THAT MAY DERIVE FROM YOUR VIEWING OF THESE ARTICLES]

TAPE #1 “TOASTER” 11/27

DESCRIPTION: [VISUAL AND AUDIO LOG OF A CONVERSATION BETWEEN ENGINEER 02 (HENCEFORTH REFERRED TO AS A “02″) AND A COMMON HOUSEHOLD TOASTER (HENCEFORTH REFERRED TO AS “Toaster”) THAT APPEARS TO MIMIC ENGINEER 06. THE CONVERSATION IS HELD IN THE CAFETERIA OF LAB-01 AT POINT-A. SIGNIFICANT AMOUNTS OF BLOOD ARE VISIBLE ON ALL SURFACES OF THE CAFETERIA. THE ARM OF AN UNKNOWN INDIVIDUAL IS PRESENT IN FRONT OF THE TOASTER. 02 IS EITHER VISUALLY IMPAIRED, DOES NOT NOTICE, OR DOES NOT CARE THAT A TOASTER IS MIMICKING ENGINEER 06]

02: William.

Toaster: That is 06. It’s important that we avoid using our civilian names when possible.

02: It’s been a year, 06. You can cut the serious shit now.

Toaster: I will not. What is your issue?

02: Hmm, not much, just everything.

Toaster: Your sarcasm is unnecessary and unprofessional.

02: Your sarcasm is unnecessary and unprofessional.

Toaster: Do not mock me.

02: Do not mock me. Are you a fucking robot? Everything’s gone to shit.

Toaster: You are wasting my time. What is it that you want?

02: Your assistance please.

Toaster: I need a point and a purpose. I would also appreciate cessation of your needlessly sarcastic and antagonistic tone.

02: Who the fuck do you think you are? A fucking Vulcan? Some kind of edgy anime character? I came here because I saw that someone else was alive and I thought you’d like to help me escape. But, instead you’re still obsessed with playing whatever fucking part they gave you back at Base. Here comes reality dude: it’s all gone to shit. They’ve abandoned us. Everyone you worked with for the past 12 months is fucking dead, except for me.

Toaster: 02? Can I ask you a question.

02: Wow, this is new. Ask away.

Toaster: What is anime?

02: Well, considering we basically have unlimited time here, I’ll explain to you everything you need to know about the happy medium of Japanese animation.

Toaster: I am listening.

02: Okay, here goes. Wait, I’m not going to do that because I was just fucking with you, moron.

Toaster: Wrong. It was I who was doing the expletive to you. I attempted humor on you.

02: Well, I’m not laughing.

Toaster: Neither am I. That was an exercise meant to show you how much time your humor wastes.

02: What the fuck is wrong with you?

Toaster: I can ask the same expletive to you.

02: I’m [UNINTELLIGIBLE]

[THERE IS A TWO HOUR SKIP IN FOOTAGE. THE REST OF THE FOOTAGE IS A STILL SHOT OF THE CAFETERIA. 02 IS GONE AND THE TOASTER REMAINS UNMOVED. THE LIMB IN FRONT OF IT HAS DISAPPEARED]

TAPE #2 “COLD TREK” 4/7

DESCRIPTION: [AUDIO AND VIDEO LOG OF AN ENTITY (HENCEFORTH REFERRED TO AS “Pilot”) WALKING FROM A REMOTE REGION AND TOWARD THE CAMERA MONITORING THE OUTPOST AT POINT-Q. THE PILOT IS DRESSED IN THE TYPICAL FLIGHT SUIT WORN BY MEMBERS OF THE NORTH AMERICAN CONFEDERATION’S AIR FORCE. SUCH A SUIT CANNOT PROTECT FROM THE HARSH CLIMATE OF THE REGION. APPROXIMATELY TWO HOURS PASSES AS THE Pilot WALKS FROM THE REMOTE REGION AND STANDS IN FRONT OF THE ENTRANCE TO OUTPOST. CAMERA MALFUNCTIONS AND RECORDING ENDS. THIS IS THE ONLY KNOWN VISUAL RECORDING OF THE Pilot, THOUGH THERE ARE SEVERAL WRITTEN DOCUMENTS REFERRING TO APPEARANCES OF A SIMILAR ENTITY, AND AT LEAST ONE AUDIO LOG IN WHICH IT SEEMINGLY MAKES AN APPEARANCE. NOTED MATERIALS SHALL BE SHARED - IF NECESSARY - IN THE FUTURE]

TAPE #3 “GAS STATION” 2/28

DESCRIPTION: [AUDIO AND VIDEO LOG OF ENGINEER-04 (HENCEFORTH REFERRED TO AS “04″) HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH ENGINEER-07 (HENCEFORTH REFERRED TO AS “07″ IN THE MAIN RESEARCH WING OF LAB-01 AT POINT-A CONCERNING AN INCIDENT 04 EXPERIENCED SIX MONTHS PRIOR TO THE RECORDING]

04: So, that’s when I wake up and notice that I’m fucking freezing. It’s snowing.

07: In Texas, in the middle of summer? You’re making things up.

04: I can’t believe you’re so shocked by this. I mean, what I’m going to tell you pales in comparison to what we saw in the briefings.

07: Yeah, I’m trying to play things up a bit, like old times. Remember when I was still afraid of UFOs.

04: How can I forget man.

07: Anyway, so I wake up and I’m fucking freezing. It’s snowing like crazy outside and I think I’m losing my mind. So, here I am, stranded in the middle of nowhere. Outta gas, outta food, and now it’s fucking snowing about as hard as it snows around these parts. I thought I must’ve entered purgatory. I figure I’m probably going to freeze to death no matter what happens, so I got out of the car and just started walking. Coul[ᵂᴿᴱᶜᴷᴵᴺᴳ ᵂᴼᴿᴰ]dn’t feel my feet by time I found the gas station. I was so relieved. It was like finding home again. So, I explain the situation to my cashier. Says he never saw it snowing like this in his entire life. Tells me I’m lucky I still got my feet on me. Seems like a normal guy, but I think he had dementia.

04: Oh?

07: Yeah, like he starts talking about how he used to be a fighter pilot. Starts talking about his mom in a really weird way. Sounded like he was trying to be a little kid or something. Freaked me out. If I was in any other situation, I’d have beat the shit out of the guy, but y’know, huge job coming up in a few months. Plus he sorta of saved me.

04: Yup.

07: So, the next morning I wake up. There’s no snow and the place is abandoned.

04: Then what?

07: I leave.

04: That’s it?

07: Well, I found someone to fix my car.

04: What about all the spooky shit you told me would happen.

07: That was the spooky shit.

04: Sounds like your insane drunk ass hallucinated the whole thing.

07: I mean, yeah, but it’s nice to revisit it and wonder. Especially considering what we know. It could’ve meant something.

04: Doubt it.

ENGINEER 12′S JOURNAL: BIG MOON

Ice.

Wet.

Dry.

Ice.

I sat in a chair near the table, but I couldn’t see or I couldn’t picture some-such object sitting in front my being. I felt, half-shattered, I had done the wrong thing. Ice, ice, wet, wet, wet, dry, ice.

Dear mom,

Hey...

[DRAWING OF A KITTEN]

03′s name is Elisa. I don’t know why I know this. I woke up and I just knew it. We’re not supposed to know names.

I feel stupid writing in this.

Ice.

This was a bad idea and already illegal in the first place.

Who am I writing to?

Big MOON [WRECKING WORD]

Told myself I was named 11 again so I would stop worrying.

Somehow I knew it. I knew I was lied to.

[DRAWING OF A DAISY]

[DRAWING OF A DEPICTION OF ENGINEER-11 AND KISSING A DEPICTION OF ENGINEER-02]

^^^^Not Happening!^^^^

[ENTRY 1: END]

#dolmen-gate

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redorblue · 7 years

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Book 14/2017 - All the light we cannot see by Anthony Doerr

So I know this book is good. I mean, the author won a Pulitzer Prize, so he certainly can write, and it took him around 10 years to finish the book, which has to count for something. Just not for me, apparently.

Honestly, I have no idea what went wrong with me and that book. It’s not that I hated it, either, I just didn’t really get into it, and then it was over, and it felt weird. Like this moment when you’re talking on the phone with someone, and there’s a break in the conversation and you’re not sure whose turn it is to speak, so you just wait… I hate phone calls, so maybe that description wasn’t the best I could have come up with, but that’s how I felt when I read the last page. Like I was waiting for something, for the point, for a feeling to finally grip me, for any of those things that a great book does to me. But I never got any of that.

I guess this is why I write about it although I feel kinda indifferent about it. Normally I just write about those I really loved for some reason or another, those who were exceptionally entertaining or made me think about things or ripped even my stony heart to pieces. The reason I write about All the light we cannot see anyway is that I expected some of those things from this book, too, and I never really got them and I’m disappointed and I don’t know why it didn’t work for me. So yeah, that’s it, I’m not entirely indifferent but rather disappointed, and kinda questioning myself too. I know that I’m not so much into “classical literature”, neither German nor otherwise, although I still try from time to time. But I certainly can appreciate modern literature, and I think you could count this one as modern literature, so I guess I missed the point, or had wrong expectations. That means I’m not blaming the book, or by extension the author, in the end who am I to say that it’s an average book. I’m just very much not satisfied.

The thing is, when I read the synopsis I did have high expectations. It’s about WWII and is told from the perspectives of a German boy made soldier and a French girl mainly. That can make for an interesting and educational read, and although I normally have some doubts when American authors or screenwriters set their stories in Nazi Germany (it’s the result of pretty much every historical Hollywood movie featuring Germans be about Nazi Germany, which gets annoying at some point). But I’m always ready to give it a try, and this book dealt with it well and portrayed the Germans involved as actual individuals with actual agency and motivations that didn’t always, but could go beyond single-mindedly serving the Führer. The same goes for the French, who weren’t all brave résistance heroes, just as the Germans weren’t all sadistic, brainwashed monsters, or deceived innocents who were so oppressed they couldn’t resist - I’ve heard that narrative, too. Writing about a topic like this is difficult as a German, and I’m certainly not trying to excuse anything. But I’m saying, and that’s what I give the book credit for, that it presents its characters, regardless of nationality, as people, some of whom were enabled by the circumstances to live out their ugliest sides, others in whom the circumstances brought out the best, and the vast majority who were neither heroes nor monsters but just trying to get by.

So there we have something I appreciated about the book, and I think the main characters are all good examples for the categories I just opened up while complaining about said categories. There’s a third POV, a German officer suffering from cancer on the hunt for a mythic diamond that he believes will cure him, and I think he’s the closest (fleshed-out) example we get for the monster category. He’s not really sadistic, but absolutely ruthless and frankly creepy the more desperate he gets, and as he’s excused, or rather enabled by the regime he works for, his cruel behaviour becomes sanctioned rather than curbed, which is exactly how the Hitler regime managed to create (most of) its monsters.

The majority of people are not like that though, and Werner, a German orphan from a coal town, exemplifies them well. He may not come across as one, but Werner is kind of a dreamer, of the sort who thinks that if they work hard and adapt, they’ll be in charge of their own lives at some point. But that’s not the kind of mindset you need to build an empire, so instead of getting a good education in a state-sponsored elite school and then go on to be an inventor somewhere, he’s sent to the front at age 15/16 to help capture and kill insurgents in the fraying Reich. He definitely shows discomfort with how things are: he avoids those people who’ve bought into Hitler’s ideology full-heartedly; he doesn’t agree with the way independent-minded people are treated in his school; he shows curiosity rather than hostility the one time he meets a Jew on the street; and the insurgents he helps kill weigh heavy on his conscience. But it’s not enough to spur him to action. I don’t want to suggest that there’s no personal growth in Werner’s character, he increasingly questions the war and his own complacency in the face of so much cruelty. But I don’t think he would have ever acted on it and defied his orders to protect innocents if it wasn’t for a French girl he had developed an infatuation for. What he needed was something to rip him out of his passivity, something personal and tangible he couldn’t ignore. He needed a catalyst, and he got one in the second protagonist Marie-Laure.

If this story has a hero, it is her without a doubt. I don’t say that only because of the obvious reasons, namely her being part of the résistance and delivering messages about strategically important military stuff at great risk for herself. That’s brave, obviously, and the kind of everyday hero we all hope we’d be if we lived in the time and place she does. What’s remarkable about her though is on the one hand how she manages to see the person behind the façade and determine whether they’re trustworthy or not regardless of their rationality, and then act on it despite her very valid reasons to hate all Germans. No bad pun intended, by the way (she’s blind). And on the other, how she perseveres without ever falling prey to despair. I especially liked her chapters a few decades after the war is over, when we learn that she has become a successful scientist and raised a daughter in spite of her disability. She doesn’t give up and she doesn’t get bitter - melancholic, yes, but not hostile when she doesn’t have a rational reason for it - and in spite of all these “ideal” features she stays relatable. She’s a tangible example of how war not only brings out the worst in people, but sometimes also the best.

There’s one other character that definitely isn’t mentioned enough, and that’s Werner’s younger sister Jutta. I think hers was one of the saddest stories, and as I’m a masochist deep down when it comes to stories, I obviously rooted for her. She seems to see through the propaganda both if them grow up with, as much as that’s possible for a child, but can’t do anything as her brother leaves to be indoctrinated in one of the regime’s schools, and has to fight her own private wars during the big one, trying to keep her home, the orphanage, together. Obviously, foreign invasion also isn’t a good time to be a girl, so when the Russians conquer Berlin, there’s more ugliness, and on top of that she has to deal with her grief for her brother… Like I said, it’s sad, and if any of the plotlines affected me personally, it was the one at the orphanage.

I didn’t expect this to become this long, but turns out I did have to say a thing or two about the book. That’s why I do this, even though it takes effort: I am a lot better at sorting out my thoughts about a book when I’m writing about it, and it gives me a bit if closure when one doesn’t want to leave me alone. I didn’t really need that for this one, but still. So if you thought about reading this book, don’t let me dissuade you, I think I may have a personal problem with it (still not sure what though), and even if you happen to share my inability to get into it, you can still enjoy the exquisite writing. It’s beautiful, really. Just take a look at the title.

#all the light we cannot see #anthony doerr #books #2017

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