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Riding On

Ch21: Her Hooves Set The Beat, My Heart Sang The Song

Summary: There’s a feel good factor at the Gallagher-Adler’s as Alex hits another milestone, but their happy little bubble his shattered with some bad news at the stables, and Fliss is forced to say a heart-breaking goodbye…

Warnings: Bad language, 18+, animal death.

Pairing: Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

A/N: So, for those of you who don’t know, Heidi was actually real. She was my beloved horse of a lifetime who I lost in July 2018 to complications associated with old age. At 28 I she had a good life, and for the 20 years I had her she gave me everything. Writing this brought back a lot of memories and was quite therapeutic in a way, but if anyone wants to skip over it for fear of being triggered, I won’t be offended.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Riding On Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 20

April 2020

“Go away!” Mary laughed, pushing Fliss’ arm as she tried to peek over at what she was writing on the piece of card upon which she’d been designing the Wedding Invitations. “You can see when I’m done!”

Fliss chuckled and backed away, hands raised, palms up.

“Okay, okay.” She walked backwards a few steps before she turned and her eyes fell on Alex who was in his pack and play loudly banging some coloured blocks together. He looked up at her and gave a huge smile before he shuffled a little to the edge of his pen and reached up, curling his hands onto the sides. As Fliss watched, he tried to pull himself up into a standing position but only got so far before he landed on his butt, and waved his arms and legs shouting something in, what Frank called Bean-Babble. Fliss grinned and moved to pick him up.

“Not quite mastered that yet have you, baby?” She smiled, kissing his cheek.

Alex let out another loud squeal of contentment as he perched on her hip and she made her way over to the kitchen area. There, she settled him in his high chair and headed into the fridge to grab him an apple. Since he had started eating solids it had fast become apparent that he was particularly partial to the fruit, something Frank directly attributed to the fact that Fliss had eaten so many of them when she was pregnant thanks to her craving. Fliss carefully chopped the fruit into large pieces before she placed them down on the tray of his chair, kissing his soft hair again as Alex grabbed a slice in his hand and promptly jabbed it in his mouth, making appreciative noises.

Happy that he was content, Fliss then turned her attention to their dinner. She soon had the base of the cream and garlic sauce for the seafood linguini simmering nicely in the pan so she then turned her attention to shelling and de-veining the fresh, king prawns Frank had brought home the night before, along with chopping up the squid and cleaning the mussels before she turned her head and looked over to the table across the large family room.

“Mary, do you want mussels in yours?”

“No, they taste like snot.” Came the simple response.

“You know what snot tastes like?” Fliss pulled a face. “Gross.”

Mary didn’t reply, her hand was busy scribbling on the paper. Fliss shrugged and placed some of the sauce into a separate pan before she dropped some of the seafood through to cook, before pulling a cod and mash potato puree out for Alex for his dinner. Whilst that was in the microwave, she tossed Mary’s sauce through some of the pasta, before sprinkling over a little bit of parmesan and setting it down on the breakfast bar.

“Mary, dinner.”

Mary hopped down from the table and made her way over to the counter. With a thanks to Fliss she tucked in as Fliss smiled and sat next to her, feeding Alex.

“What time is Dad home?” Mary asked.

“I’m actually expecting him any time now.” Fliss glanced at the clock. “He has no meetings tonight so he shouldn’t be too long. Did you want him for something? I can call him.”

“No, I was just curious.” Mary swallowed her mouthful of food. “Do you mind if I don’t ride tonight?”

“No, of course not.” Fliss gave Alex another spoonful of his dinner before she turned to Mary. “Is everything ok, Stack? It’s not like you to pass up an opportunity to ride.”

“Well, I thought I could spend some time with Frank.” She shrugged. “I haven’t seen him properly this week.”

“I’m sure he’d appreciate that.” Fliss smiled, giving Alex more food.

“Just figured if you’re at the stables and Alex is in bed, it’ll just be the two of us. No offense.”

“None taken.” Fliss chuckled, as Mary grinned and continued to eat. And she meant it. Over the past two weeks or so, Frank and Alan’s son had decided to expand a little and as such had been meeting with potential new suppliers, often working until later in the night, something Fliss knew was hard on him because it meant his time with the kids had really been limited to a quick hour over breakfast, the morning school and crèche drop offs and weekends. Fliss had assured him that the kids were fine, she was fine, and reminded him that he was doing this for the family, for their future but it didn’t stop him feeling guilty.

It was kind of ironic, when she thought about it. As she’d been expecting to feel the same guilt after going back to work full time but as she was self-employed, she’d been able to work her time-table quite well around the kids. She’d taken on another stable hand to help with the day to day chores leaving her free to teach more freelance in the area and school horses when they came to her for training. Joanne was now taking the group lessons completely, having passed her final teaching exams earlier that year, and Alex had settled really well into his day care, going two days a week to the centre round the corner from Mary’s school which had come recommended by Bonnie’s sister. The other two days a week Verity (and nine times outta ten Bill) came look after him or take him out, meaning on those days Fliss worked later- scheduling in evening lessons for clients as Verity would sort the kids dinner before Frank got home, and then on Friday, Fliss did her paperwork so Alex stayed with her . It was busy, and often required military planning as to who was picking which child up and when, but they worked it well, and Fliss had been very surprised at how easily they had picked it all up.

They continued chatting, and just as Mary had polished off her desert, Thor gave a little woof and padded to the back door as it opened and they heard Frank giving his usual jokey greeting.

“The boss is home.”

“Yeah I know, she made dinner.” Mary shot back and Fliss laughed, giving her a hi-five.

Frank walked into the main room and smiled at them both, giving Fliss a quick kiss before he ruffled Mary’s hair as she shoved him away, rolling her eyes, jumping off the stool to escape him.

“Good day?” He asked, and Fliss nodded.

“Yeah, not bad. You?”

“Busy, but productive. We got the final Price Lists negotiated so…” he trailed off, nodding to Alex who was smiling at him. “Looks like he enjoyed dinner.”

“So did Mary.” Fliss mused, nodding to the empty place on the side. “She ate a full dish of linguini and a massive piece of Mum’s chocolate cake. Think she’s going through another growth spurt.”

“Great, more clothes to buy.”

Fliss chuckled as she fed Alex the last of his peach and apple puree before she reached for a baby wipe and scrubbed his face and hands clean, much to the baby’s annoyance. She stood up to clear away his dish, leaving the spoon in Alex’s hand as he was busy banging it against the tray of his chair. Frank sat down on the stool she’d vacated, kissing Alex’s head. .

“Hey, Pal. Meet any hot girls today at crèche?” He asked. Alex shrieked in response, banging the spoon harder and Frank nodded. “Oh really? Well, you play it cool and she’ll be putty in your hands.”

“Like I was in yours?” Fliss asked, turning to face him and Frank grinned as he settled on the stool.

“Think we both know it was the other way round.”

“Don’t you forget it.” She smirked a little.

“Like I’d have a chance.” Frank winked at her and Fliss smiled.

“Do you want your dinner now or-“

“Oh, can I show you the invitation first?” Mary suddenly piped up from across the room and Fliss nodded.

“Sure.”

She jumped off the table at the chair and approached them, placing the card on the breakfast bar in front of Frank. Fliss stood behind Frank, her hands sliding round his shoulders as she kissed his cheek, both of them glancing down at the design Mary had come up with.

The front was a simple square piece of card. Across the top Mary had cut letters out of a magazine to spell out the words “WE’RE GETTING MARRIED” and underneath it she’d stuck a copy of a photo of the four of them which had clearly been taken at Bill and Verity’s a few weeks ago. Mary and Alex were both looking at the camera, whereas Frank and Fliss were both laughing as they looked at each other as Frank held Alex, the baby’s back to his chest, supporting under his butt with one arm, the other held across his front.

“Where did you get that?” Frank asked, grinning as he looked at it.

“Poppa Bill.” Mary looked at him. “He said it was like the five thousandth attempt at trying to get us all to look at the camera.”

“That was Frank’s fault.” Fliss laughed, “He kept nipping my ass.”

Frank shrugged, before Fliss spotted one of his arms snaking backwards, blatantly intending on doing the same and she slapped his hand, making him give a dirty chuckle as he pulled it away.

“Turn it over!” Mary urged. Frank obliged and they both smiled instantly at the back. It was written in Mary’s untidy writing, in bright multi-coloured felt tip.

“Oh Mary, this is just what I wanted!” Fliss grinned. “For it to look bright and unique.”

“You haven’t read it yet.” She looked up at Fliss rolling her eyes, but before she could comment Frank started to laugh as he had and his chuckles continued as Fliss read the words out-loud.

“Mary and Alex Adler would like to invite you to their Mom and Dad’s wedding.” Fliss took a deep breath at the word, looking at Mary who gave her a small smile. Whilst Mary had referred to Fliss when talking to other people as her mom, she’d never actually used the word directly to Fliss yet. But, now wasn’t the time to dig into that. Fliss cleared her throat and read on “Frank and Fliss met at the stables. Frank was smitten, Fliss was too. But they were too dumb to admit it straight away. And then Frank took her sailing (not driving) on a speedboat. They kissed, made a baby and now it’s time for a party. (And a wedding too).”

Fliss burst out laughing, as Frank tried to gain enough control to read the final bit at the bottom, which was situated underneath the details of time and venues, before it went on to state their address.

“RSVP to Mary (not Alex, because he can’t read!)” He managed to wheeze out, wiping at his eyes. “Oh, Stack, you’re killing me.”

“You like it?” She grinned and Frank nodded.

“Mary.” Fliss’ laughter died down as she took a deep breath. “It’s absolutely perfect!”

Once they had finished laughing at Mary’s Invitation Prototype, Fliss and Frank ate dinner together, Mary chatting away to the pair of them as she sat at the end of the breakfast bar, sipping a milkshake, informing them both about her day, before Frank took Alex to get him bathed and changed into his pyjamas.

“This bath is supposed to be for you.” Frank grumbled as Alex enthusiastically splashed at the water with his little hands, those little babbling noises emitting from his mouth as he glanced up at Frank with his big blue eyes, making another sound that could almost have been interpreted as a question. Which, maybe it was. “You heard me.” Frank looked at him. Alex studied his dad for a second before continuing with his splashing, laughing loudly as he tossed a plastic boat to the end of the tub before he stretched towards it, then realising he couldn’t reach the toy, promptly burst into tears.

“Seriously, Pal?” Frank rolled his eyes, stretching his right hand over to retrieve the precious item. As soon as he passed it back, the over the top tears stopped and Frank raised an eyebrow. “If you wanted it so badly why did you throw it away in the first place?”

Alex responded with another noise, this one a gurgle and Frank nodded.

“Okay, understood.”

At that Alex looked at him, cocking his head to one side, making another puzzled noise and tossed the boat this time over the side of the bath, a grin spreading across his face as he studied his dad. Frank arched an eyebrow. “You know, just because I love you doesn’t mean I sign up for this whole throw and fetch shit you got going on.” He picked up the toy and tossed it back into the water. “That’s Thor’s job.”

“You know, if his first word comes out a swear, you’re in deep trouble.” Fliss arched an eyebrow as Frank turned his head over his shoulder to look at her as she stood in the bathroom doorway. At the sight of his Mumma, Alex gave a huge grin and let out another gabble of noises.

“There are worst things it could be.” Frank shrugged, looking back at him.

“Like what?”

“Trump.” Frank deadpanned and Fliss let out a chuckle as once more the plastic boat came out of the tub onto the floor.

“Right, I think play-time is done pal.” Frank looked at Alex, who glanced up at him as he made sure to keep one hand behind his son’s back whilst reaching for his little hooded towel, which was patterned with tiny little ducks. “Come on.” No sooner had he lifted Alex out of the tub, the eight month old started to protest, dramatically, screams once more hitting Frank’s ears. “Oh, hush…” Frank chuckled as he lay him down on the towel before wrapping him in it and picking him up, rising to a stand and gently jiggling the now hysterical baby up and down.

“Anyone would think we’re tryin’a kill him, not simply dry him off after he’s spent fifteen minutes in the bath.” Frank rolled his eyes, an amused expression on his face at Alex’s dramatics.

“Well, he’s a right little water baby, aint you Bean?” Fliss leaned over to kiss Alex’s head as his cries suddenly died down as he had become instantly distracted with the buttons on Frank’s shirt. He made a little “oooh” of approval, his tiny fingers reaching to the ones near the collar. “Ha, look at that, he’s easily distracted, just like his daddy.”

“Yeah, well, I won’t deny, I quite like undoing your buttons.” Frank teased, dropping a kiss to her mouth. “Shall I dress him or do you wanna do it?”

Fliss took a deep breath, of course she wanted to dress him, she wanted to do everything for her baby, but she also knew that Frank had been out of the house early every morning and this was the first evening since Monday he’d made it home before bath time. With a smile she shook her head. “It's okay, you can do it. I’ll clean up in here.”

“Leave it, I’ll do it later.”

“It won’t take me five minutes. Then once I’m done and he’s settled, I’ll head over to the yard so I can ride and finish off. I won’t be too long, just an hour or so.”

“Then we got some us time?” Frank asked, almost pleaded and she smiled.

“Then we got some us time.”

“Perfect.” Frank gave her a soft smile before he kissed her again and carried Alex into the nursery. Before long he’d managed to wrestle a very wriggly baby into a clean diaper, a fresh romper suit and headed downstairs. Mary was now sat on the couch, her eyes glued to something on the TV as Fliss was warming Alex’s bottle up.

“You going with Fliss, Stack?”

No answer. With a raised brow he turned to look at Fliss who was biting her lip, trying not to laugh as he switched his attention back to Mary.

“Earth to Mary.”

With a groan she looked at him. “What?”

“Less of the attitude.” Frank looked at her. “I asked if you were going to ride?”

“Oh, erm…” She hesitated and Fliss chuckled.

“She wants to stay here and spend some time with you.” She smiled as Frank looked at her, then to Mary.

“Wow, me over Monty, I’m flattered.” He smirked. Mary rolled her eyes.

“Don’t get used to it, it’s only because I’ve not seen you properly this week to hang out.”

Frank snorted before he sighed. “I know, I’m sorry. It won’t be forever.”

“It’s fine.” Mary shrugged, her eyes back on the TV. “Not like I’m neglected, is it?”

“Good to know you feel that way.” Frank nodded seriously, before he caught Fliss’ eye and she gave him a wink.

He placed Alex down on the play mat in front of the TV and within seconds the baby had flipped himself over and pushed up onto his hands, rocking back a little onto his knees, emitting more excited noises.

“Mary, I’m just gonna grab a drink.” Frank looked at the Alex, before he turned to Mary. “Keep your eye on your brother will you?”

“Sure.” She shrugged, her attention now completely on the baby as she dropped onto the floor and shuffled over to him, talking to him as she did so.

Frank watched for a moment, giving a silent groan as Alex flopped gently down face first onto the mat.

“Oopsie!” Mary grinned, and Frank braced himself for the dramatic screams, but they never came as this time, Alex managed to right himself and roll back over onto his back, giving Mary an excited grin and a loud shriek as Mary waggled one of the toys from the baby gym over the top of him.

Satisfied they were okay, Frank headed into the kitchen where Fliss was busy finishing off the lunches for the next morning, dropping a kiss to her cheek as he reached into the fridge, grabbing a beer.

“You wanna do bedtime as you’ve not had chance this week?” Fliss asked, nodding to Alex’s bottle where it stood in the jug of boiling water.

“He’s my son, course I wanna.” Frank frowned as he looked at her, flipping the top off his beer. “You know, it’s not like I’ve been working late on purpose, Fliss.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Fliss narrowed her eyes at him as he took a long pull of his drink. “And you know it. So less of the shitty tone, thank you!”

“Sorry, Honey.” Frank sighed, dropping a kiss to her lips. “Just, well, I didn’t think Mary would have bothered as much as she had.”

“She’s fine.” Fliss shook her head. “And she isn’t bothered as such, she just wants to get you to herself for a little while. I mean, let’s face it, how often does she get chance to do that now?”

“True.” Frank nodded. “Maybe I should take her out on Saturday somewhere, just the two of us. Would you mind?”

“No, course not.” She shook her head. “I can take Alex down to the beach with Bonnie. You can always join us later on.”

“Yeah.” Frank nodded. “Sounds good.”

“And tonight, why don’t you spend a bit of time in the pool before she showers?” Fliss suggested, as she slid her hands up round his neck. “Then maybe when I get back, me and you could-“

But whatever filthy water-based shenanigans she was about to suggest, Frank never found out, as at that moment Mary let out a yell.

“Oh my God! Alex is crawling, quick!”

In a flash the parents rushed over to where Mary was sat at one side of the play-mat, waving Alex’s huge stuffed elephant at him, as he unsteadily made his way over to her, one hand and knee moving at a time.

“Frank, quick!” Fliss nudged him as she dropped to her knees behind Alex, her hands settling either side of his little body, getting ready to catch him if she needed to.

“I got it…” Frank muttered, as he crouched next to Mary, his phone out. “Alex, buddy, you reckon you can make it all this way to Daddy, huh?”

Another few little movements later, Fliss’ sharp eyes saw the baby’s arms beginning to wobble and, just as they gave way she grabbed him and pulled him backwards, swinging him up and pressing her to his chest, smothering his face in kisses.

“My clever little man!” She beamed as Alex laughed, grabbing at her hair as she kissed him. “Oh my baby, you’re getting so big!”

Alex clearly decided that his crawling efforts were done for the day as he made no attempt try again as Fliss held him in position on the mat. With a shrug, she gently placed him on his back where he began to grab once more at the toys hanging over him.

“Obviously had enough excitement for one night.” Frank chuckled as he reached over and tickled the baby’s belly, drawing a gaggle of laughter from him.

“I’m so glad we all got to see it.” Fliss beamed round at them both and Mary nodded enthusiastically. “Right…” She rose to her feet. “I’m going to go ride and finish off. I’ll be back in an hour, hour and a half.”

Once she was gone, Frank turned to Mary. “Fancy playing in the pool for a bit before bed?”

“Errr, yeah!”

“Okay, well give me half an hour or so to get him down and then we’ll head out. I wanna see if you can master a back flip this time instead of a front one.”

***** Alex went down, as usual, with minimum fuss and once Frank was happy he was settled he changed into his swim shorts and headed downstairs. Grabbing the baby monitor screen from the side in the kitchen, he and Mary headed out to the pool, Mary wasting no time in cannon-balling straight in. Not one to shy down from a challenge, when Mary told him to beat her splash, he did just that. The two of them enjoyed a fun filled forty minutes or so, racing one another (Frank let Mary win a few, but not all) play fighting, diving and generally larking around as the sun dipped behind the eye-line of the fence and the lights in the pool kicked in, reflecting against the bright blue tiles which lined it.

Frank climbed out of the pool to check the time on his phone, and realising it was now almost eight, he told Mary it was time to get out. She protested, but he shot her a no-nonsense stare and with a loud groan about how unfair life was, she climbed out and Frank wrapped her in a towel before giving her a drink of water and then packing her off upstairs for a shower, promising her she could read in bed before lights off at nine.

He showered himself, pulling on a pair of sweats and a well-worn light blue T-Shirt, and by the time he had finished and headed across the landing to tuck Mary in, she was already out for the count. With a smile, he placed her book down on her night stand, gently kissed her head and then flicked off the lamp before he moved to the next room to check on Alex. He was also fast asleep.

He headed back downstairs, grabbed another beer and settled in front of the TV, giving a snort as he glanced at the time. It was now ten past nine. So much for Fliss being just an hour. No doubt she’d ended up chatting to one of the clients about something, as usual, which had delayed her locking up. Firing her a good humoured, sarcastic text about how he should grow a mane, tail and two extra legs so he could get a look in, he tossed the phone down onto the coffee table, frowning as it instantly began to light up. It was Fliss.

“Hey, Honey, I was only joking, take as-“

“Frank, there’s something wrong with Heidi.” She cut him off, her voice cracking. “She’s got colic and it’s bad. I called the Vet and he’s on his way but she won’t get up. I can’t get her on her feet to try and walk her round she’s just…”

Frank took a deep breath, his stomach falling as he digested her words. He wasn’t clued up on a lot of horse lingo or issues, but he knew colic was fatal to some horses, depending on the severity. And even without the fact that Fliss was clearly concerned, he knew that with Heidi being as old as she was this wasn’t good.

“How long is the Vet going to be?” he asked.

“They said about half an hour, he’s on his way but as it’s night it’s an emergency call so he’s coming from home.” She took a deep breath. “Frank, I’m gonna lose her.”

“Look, you don’t know that for sure.” He placated her gently as he stood up from the sofa. “Listen, let me grab the kids and we’ll come over.”

“Frank, they’re sleeping.” She began to protest, “And Mary will be so upset to see Heidi like this, and if the vet has to put her to sleep then…”

“Then she’ll be mad as hell she didn’t get to say goodbye.” Frank reasoned as he made his way into the hallway. “I don’t want you over there on your own, sweetheart. Not if…”

There was a pause. “I don’t want to do it on my own either.” She whispered and he took a deep breath as he headed up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time.

“And you don’t hafta.” He replied. “Give me five minutes. Do you need anything else?”

“No, I got everything here.”

“Okay.” He nodded, pausing outside Mary’s bedroom. “We’ll be with you in five.”

She sniffed. “Thank you.”

Frank stuck his phone in the pocket of his sweats before he opened Mary’s door and headed over to her bed. Standing on the bottom rung of the ladder of the cabin he gently leaned over. She was led, facing away from him, face snuggled into her pillow as Fred lay by her side. He raised his head questioningly at Frank as he softly brushed Mary’s hair off her cheek, pressing a kiss to her face.

“Stack, hey…come on, wake up.” Mary gave a groan as she pulled her covers up further, her eyes still closed. Frank spoke a little louder, his hand softly shaking her shoulder. “Mary, sweetheart, I need you to wake up, come on.”

She stirred a little, before she rolled onto her back, blinking sleepily at him before she frowned.

“Frank, it’s still dark!” She glared at him and he bit back the smirk at the fact she’d reverted to Frank, not Dad. Something she always did when she felt he was being a jerk.

“I know you haven’t been asleep long, but Fliss is at the yard and we need to go be with her. Heidi isn’t well, the vet is on his way.”

At that she sat up, all tiredness evaporating from her system. “What’s wrong with her?”

“It’s colic, Sweetie.” Frank answered gently. “But Fliss is on her own, so I need you to get dressed whilst I grab Alex, okay?”

“Okay.” She nodded, and Frank smiled softly before he turned and headed over to the nursery which was quiet bar the soft sounds of Alex’s little baby snores. In the stream of light that illuminated the room from the landing, he could see his son sleeping, halfway down the crib, head tilted to the side, the pair of them meticulous in the way they set him down at night. He crossed the room and gently picked Alex up out of the crib, the baby giving a little sigh as he did so but other-wise remaining asleep. He grabbed a little fleece blanket and as he made his way back out into the hallway, Mary appeared in her jeans and a red t-shirt.

“Why don’t you bring your laptop or something, just in case we’re there for a while and you get bored?” Frank asked. “You can sit in the office with Alex.”

“It’s downstairs.” She answered. “I’ll go grab it.”

They headed down stairs and Frank settled Alex in his stroller which was by the kitchen door as Mary grabbed her stuff. Frank slipped his feet into his sneakers as Mary stuffed on her boots and he wandered into the laundry room and found a warm top for them each.

“Frank it’s like almost summer outside.” Mary looked at him, “It’s hot!”

“I’m well aware of the climate, thanks.” He looked at her, stashing the hooded tops and cardigan on the underneath space of the stroller, before he made sure that Alex’s little blanket was set around his legs. “But it might get a little breezy if we’re there later.”

Truth be told he had no idea why he was taking them, other than the fact it felt like something he should do even though it was still in the low 70s at night. He was a little lost, this was something he’d never dealt with before, and there was a sick feeling in his stomach that it wasn’t going to end well. But, there was no point worrying about it until they knew what they were dealing with. He had to be strong, be calm. Taking a deep breath he looked at Mary and nodded. “Get the door, Stack.”

By the time they had reached the Yard, Fliss had managed to coax Heidi to her feet. As Frank and Mary walked round the side of the barn Fliss was heading to the paddock, Heidi trudging behind her.

“Hey.” Frank looked at her, and she gave him a tight smile, not stopping.

“I’m sorry, but if I stop she’ll…” She began to explain but Frank waved her away.

“Do what you gotta do.” He watched as she cast a look over her shoulder. “I’ll settle these two in the office and then I’ll be out.”

After doing just that, instructing Mary to keep an eye on Alex and promising her he would come get her once they knew what was going on, he wandered back to the paddock and without a word simply took Fliss' hand in his as she continued walking Heidi. Frank could hear the horse was making grunting noises and every so often tried to stop and kick at her stomach, but Fliss kept walking, her face set. She didn’t say much, making a little small talk, but Frank simply stayed by her side as every so often they changed direction.

“Where the hell is this vet?” Fliss gave an exasperated sigh and looked around, almost as if she expected to see him.

“It’s not been that long yet, Sweetheart.” Frank soothed her.

“Well it feels like forever.”

Frank kissed her head as they continued walking and about five minutes later a dark blue Hyundai pulled up the drive and Fliss let out a sigh of relief as she saw it was Scott, their usual vet and not some random on-call one. She led Heidi onto the main area of the yard, the horse rapidly becoming even more agitated. Fliss gently ran her hand down her neck, as she turned to Scott and gave him a quick low down and he nodded, patting Heidi.

“Okay old girl, let’s see what’s going on…” Scott hooked the stethoscope into his ears and moved to listen to her belly, taking a deep breath as he looked at Fliss. “Yeah, there’s absolutely no gut noise at all. It’s definitely colic, but you know that already…” he unhooked the ear pieces, leaving the item hanging around his neck before he moved to her head and examined her nose to get a look at the mucas membrane colour, then did a quick check on her gums which Frank noticed were pale instead of the usual pink.

“She’s in shock.” Fliss sniffed a little, noticing the change in colour and Scott wrinkled his nose.

“Not uncommon if she’s in a bit of pain.” He stood back. “Okay, I’m going to give her an anti-spasmodic and some pain relief which should help, and a mild sedative so I can do an internal examination.”

“Yeah, whatever you need to do.” Fliss nodded as Scott turned to head back to his car to prep what he needed.

“Internal examination?” Frank looked at Fliss, “Like, is he…” He mimed fisting something and despite herself, Fliss let out a snort of laughter.

“That’s exactly what he’s gonna do.” She shook her head as she gently stroked Heidi’s face, the mare giving another grunt and huff as she butted Fliss out of the way a little. “Still a sassbag, eh girl?”

“Like her mom.” Frank looked at Fliss and she shrugged, turning over her shoulder as the vet approached, two large syringes in his hand.

“Look, can you call my mum and dad?” Fliss looked at Frank. “I don’t think…well, Dad especially is going to want to be here if…”

“Sure.” Frank nodded and turned away, obligingly.

He wandered back into the office, Bill who answered the phone instantly asked him what was going on and when he explained he simply stated they would be there as soon as they could be and hung up.

“Is she going to be okay?” Mary asked, as Frank checked on Alex where he was still sleeping in his stroller.

“I honestly don’t know Stack, but as soon as I do I’ll tell you okay?”

“Okay.”

“You’re doing a good job in here, watching him.”

“Don’t patronise me, Dad.” She rolled her eyes. “He’s asleep, and I’m reading. Not like it’s hard.”

Frank blinked, before he gave a little scoff and turned to head back onto the yard.

The Vet was just finishing giving Heidi the first jab and he gently rubbed the horse’s neck and then nodded to Fliss.

“Okay so that’s the pain relief and anti-spasmodic administered. Take her back in the paddock and give her another couple of minutes’ walk round whilst it kicks in.”

Fliss nodded and led the horse away, waving off Frank’s offer to come with her, Thor trotting behind.

“What’s the chances, Scott?” Frank turned to the man and he pulled a face.

“It’s hard to say.” He sighed. “If she was younger I’d be optimistic but with horses that age, well everything like this can be a risk. If this doesn’t work then I’ll know more after I’ve done an internal.”

To their despair it didn’t work, and if anything after another minute of walking around Heidi had gotten even worse and her bright, chestnut coat was now damp with sweat, her chest area and parts of her chest covered in a thin sheen of white foam.

“Scott, she’s in agony.” Fliss sniffed as Frank curled an arm round her.

“The sedative will help more with the pain.” Scott assured Fliss, pulling out the second needle which he administered into the horses neck. “Atta girl. We’ll give that a minute to work.”

As Scott snapped on a pair of rubber gloves, Frank and Fliss both turned to look as they heard another car heading up the gravel driveway onto the yard. Verity and Bill appeared shortly after, exchanging a look before Bill headed straight to Heidi, giving her a soft stroke on the nose before Verity did the same.

“You okay, Titch?” Bill asked, dropping a kiss to her head and she swallowed.

“Not really.” Her eyes flicked to Scott as he moved behind Heidi whose head was now slumped down, resting on Fliss’ shoulder as the sedative had kicked in. No one spoke for a moment, before they all heard a heavy sigh from Scott as he pulled his arm back and shook his head.

“I’m sorry, Fliss.” He sighed, and immediately her face crumpled and she took a deep breath.

“Don’t say it, please.” She begged, her chest tightening painfully as her voice cracked.

“Her gut’s twisted. The only option is surgery, but given her age and the stress that would put on her heart…”

He trailed off as Fliss shook her head, wiping her nose on the back of her sleeve. “I’m not putting her through that.” She whispered, “It’s not fair. She’s too old.”

“In that case then, well, you know what I’m gonna say.” Scott dropped his head as Frank softly placed his hands between Fliss shoulder blades as she nodded and took a deep breath “I really am so sorry.”

“It isn’t your fault.” Fliss shook her head, sniffing loudly. “I don’t want her in pain longer than she needs to be. Can we…can we get on with it, please?”

The Vet nodded. “I won’t be able to arrange for her body to be collected until the morning.” He looked at Fliss who took a shuddering breath, more tears rolling down her face. “So errr, where do you want to….”

“Why don’t you use the barn at the back?” Bill cut in gently. “I can move the tractor out for the night. There’s enough room for her to go down peacefully and she can stay in there until someone can collect her.”

“Yeah, it’s clean in there and a soft landing for when…” Fliss took a deep breath before she began to cry as she pressed her face into her beloved horse’s neck, her shoulders shaking as Frank gently rubbed at her back.

“The kids are in the office.” He turned to Bill and Verity, “Mary’s gonna…”

“We’ll sort it.” Verity assured him. “I’ll take Alex back to the house.” She turned to Fliss and gave her arm a gently squeeze before she gently scratched at Heidi’s wither, her head bowing as she walked away.

The next five minutes passed in a blur for Fliss, and somehow she found herself in the barn at the back, as she led Heidi in, the mare following her faithfully.

“Do you want another couple of minutes?” Scott asked kindly.

“Just one, for us all to say goodbye.” Fliss nodded, as she stroked down Heidi’s nose, the tears pouring down her face. She turned to Mary who was stood with Frank, her eyes wet and Frank picked her up, carrying her over as the family crowded round.

“Goodbye, Heidi.” Mary sniffed, pressing a kiss to her nose as Frank gently gave the horse a scratch on the neck. “Frank says we all end up in the same place eventually, so we’ll see you again.”

At that Fliss let out a loud sob and clamped her hand over her face as she broke down. Bill wiped at his eyes as he dropped his arm round his daughter.

“Do you remember when we went to see her before we bought her?” He asked and Fliss let out a choked laugh. “She was in that field, and she came straight over, but so did that big black horse…”

“And she kicked it.” Fliss laughed. “Then she bit Steve. That’s why I picked her.”

At that Frank let out a soft chuckle.

“Yeah, he held a grudge about that, still does.” Bill smiled softly. “God, you had some moments with her. Falls, disagreements, battles of wills, but you got there in the end.”

“She’s been amazing.” Fliss smiled, pressing her nose to Heidi’s. “Turned herself inside out to please me. The best horse I could ever have had.”

Bill smiled, before he reached up and stroked Heidi’s face. “Night, old girl.”

At that he stepped back a little, the three of them plus the vet giving Fliss a moment alone with her old faithful.

“Dad’s right.” She smiled, her hand stoking Heidi’s nose, “You were an asshole for the first four months but, I knew you’d be special, I just had to get your trust. You gave me everything, baby girl, and I’ll never forget you. I’m gonna miss you so much. Your stupid temper tantrums if I don’t pay you enough attention, the fact you rule the pastures…” the tears poured freely down Fliss’ face as she took a shuddering breath, pressing her head to Heidi’s, taking a deep breath. “Sleep well.”

At that she turned to Scott and nodded, and he stepped forward.

“Okay, you’ve seen this before, right?”

“Yeah.” Fliss nodded, “But Mary hasn’t so…”

“Right, so, Mary, I’m gonna give her the first shot and that’s gonna knock her out pretty much, she’s likely to rock back and sit down like a dog before she flops sideways so, be prepared okay.”

“Kay…” Mary spoke in a quiet voice from where she stood in front of Frank. He gently placed his hands on her shoulders and bent down.

“You sure you wanna watch this?”

Mary nodded. “Yeah. Heidi doesn’t know what’s going on. She should have her family here.”

Frank smiled, pressed a kiss to the top of her head and stood up, his hands remaining where they were as Bill gently strode forward and grabbed Thor’s collar, removing him from the barn and out of the way.

Within seconds of Scott administering the first injection, Heidi did just as Scott said. Fliss gently pushed back with the lead rope, guiding Heidi back and the horse fell onto her haunches before flopping sideways, her head landing heavily on the straw bales that Bill had positioned to cushion her blow.

With a loud sob Fliss dropped to her knees and cradled the horse’s head in her lap as Scott then bent over to give her the last injection.

“So now she’s just basically gonna fall asleep and never wake up.” He looked at Mary who nodded, giving a loud sniff as she reached up to grab Franks hand.

“You okay?” He asked and she nodded, wiping at her face with her other hand. Bill moved, dropping a large hand to the back of the small girl’s head as Fliss gently stroked Heidi’s face as the animal’s eyes closed.

With a final, laboured breath, the animal’s chest grew still and Scott bent over.

“She’s gone.” He looked at Fliss, who gave another loud sob, bending over to press her face into the side of Heidi’s cheek.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t fix you.” She cried, her voice broken. “I’m so sorry.”

Frank was surprised to find his own eyes misting up, and as Mary turned to him, pressing her face into his T’shirt just above the waistband of his sweats, he glanced up at Bill who had tears trickling down his cheeks. He nodded to Frank who gently looked down at Mary, who stepped back and moved towards Bill as he opened his arms, allowing Frank to move into the barn.

“Hey, Lissy…come here.” He dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms round his girl who turned and pressed into him, her body wracked as she almost screamed out her sobs.

*****

It was pushing midnight before they made their way back to the house. Fliss had broken down once more as Frank and Bill had pulled the huge barn doors shut where Heidi’s body lay, covered by a tarp, ready for collection in the morning. The Vet had been nothing short of fantastic, as sympathetic and understanding as he could and for that Frank had thanked him profoundly as he’d been packing his kit up. Without a word said between any of them, they walked down the little pathway and through the gate that connected into the gardens of the house and walked slowly across the gravel driveway. Fliss was walking a little ahead of them, every so often Frank would notice her hand falling to Thor’s head, almost as if she was checking her faithful dog was still with them as well.

She opened the back door which led into the mudroom and walked in, kicking off her boots and then headed into the family room where Verity was sat watching TV. She stood up immediately, took one look at Fliss and then she held her arms out.

“Mum…” Fliss choked and Verity swallowed, her own face creasing into sadness as Fliss stepped into the comfort of her mum’s arms, sniffing slightly.

“Oh, Sweetheart.” Verity pressed a kiss to her daughters head. “I know this is no consolation but she had the best life ever with you, she was so loved and looked after.”

Tearing his eyes away from Fliss, who continued to sniff softly as her mum held her, Frank gently turned to Mary who had tugged on his sleeve.

“You okay?” He asked, his hand gently cupping under her cheek and she shook her head.

“I’m just sad.”

“I know.” He agreed. “You will be for a while, and there’s nothing anyone can say or do that’s gonna make it better, but if you wanna talk about it…”

“No, I think I just wanna go to bed.” She shrugged slightly. “And give Fred a hug.”

“Alright.” He nodded. “You go up, I’ll come tuck you in, in a second.”

She nodded and then walked towards Fliss, hesitating a little, before she continued and gently reached up to lay her hand on Fliss’s elbow. Fliss broke away from her mum and turned to look at Mary, wiping her eyes. Mary blinked and Fliss gave her a soft smile, crouching down to give her a hug, kissing her head.

“I love you, Mom.” Mary’s voice cracked and Fliss pressed her face harder into her hair, pulling her even closer, before she pulled back a little bit and smiled.

“I love you too. And I’m proud of you. You were so brave then.”

Fliss straightened up as Mary walked from the room after bidding everyone a goodnight, before she turned to Frank who was watching her carefully, knowing from the way her face was crumpling that her emotions were about to boil over completely. “Frankie…she…” Fliss stuttered, her chest heaving as Frank stepped forward quickly. “She just…”

“I know…” He wrapped his arms round her and pulled her close as she began to sob, her face pressed into his t-shirt. He stood, his large arms holding her against him, one hand gently resting on the back of her neck, his thumb gently arching over the skin at the back of her ear as he slowly rocked her to-and-fro on the spot, pressing a kiss to her head.

“I’ll make us some tea.” Verity swallowed, and Frank looked at her gratefully as she passed, Bill following, the man gently squeezing Fliss’ shoulder. The room was silent apart from the clinking of mugs as Verity gathered the items she needed to make them all a drink, and Thor’s soft little whines of concern, the dog eventually sticking his head in between Frank and Fliss, nudging Fliss’s thigh with his nose, his noises of distress becoming more and more high pitched. Fliss looked down, Frank’s arm curling over her shoulder as she reached down and scratched behind his ear, before the dog stood on his hind legs, his large paws reaching Fliss’ shoulders as she stooped towards him as he gently licked the tears from her face, his noises dying down a little. Frank watched the animal, a warm feeling in his chest. He’d never seen him react in this way before. He knew from tales Fliss had told him that he’d often comforted her before once her shit bag ex had given her a battering, and he’d seen the dog seek her out when she was upset or worried, but never in such an overt way like this.

“I know you’re not keen on the idea.” Fliss sniffed, looking at Frank and he turned his eyes from the dog to her. “But, can he sleep on the end of the bed, just for tonight?”

Frank looked at her, then back to the dog. Having never had pets as a kid, the bond between a human and an animal was never something he’d really given a second thought to, that is until Mary had found Fred. But since meeting Fliss, seeing the way she was with Thor and her horses, seeing how Mary was with Monty, he’d started to really comprehend that the ties went beyond a simple love. They were bonds, bonds that transcended species, bonds that snaked their way around your heart and latched on with barbs and having one of those bonds wrenched away was not only excruciating but it was devastating.

In simple terms, it was like losing a member of your family, and that Frank could relate to. It was a physical pain, a searing knife which twisted in your heart every time you thought about the person you’d lost.

The lump in Frank’s throat grew even larger as he reached out and scratched Thor behind the ear, the dog turning to him and licking the underside of his forearm, his bushy tail wagging against Frank’s leg.

“I think we can make an exception for one night.” He smiled, looking at Fliss before he pressed a soft kiss to her temple.

*****

Frank was glad their bed was a kingsize. Whilst he never minded particularly that Thor would lounge on the bed with them before they were going to sleep, or in the mornings when they got up, having the big animal on there all night could have been a problem, but as it stood, the dog was perfectly happy to curl up round the peak in the covers which Fliss’ feet made, and she pointed out to Frank that he’d probably hop off and get on his basket at some point during the night.

“He used to do that, anyway.” She shrugged. “When I was in the annex that is. Asshole never let him on the bed. If he was ever away for a few days and I let him or Loki up, I used to have to change the bedding so he wouldn’t find out. One day I forgot and…well, you can figure the rest.”

“Shhhh.” Frank kissed her neck softly as he pulled her closer, her back pressing into his chest wrapping his arms around her. “Try and get some sleep, Sweetheart. It’s late.”

“Thank you.” She whispered.

“What for?”

“Just being you.” She let out a deep breath and turned her head so she could look at him.

“Well, that is one thing I’m pretty good at.” He quipped and Fliss gave a soft chuckle before she took a deep breath.

“I know you’re busy at the shop, but is there any chance you could start late tomorrow?” She asked him softly. “I don’t wanna be on my own when they come to take her.”

“I’m not going in tomorrow.” Frank shook his head. “And Mary’s not going to school. We’ve had a late and upsetting night so I think we should all take it easy, spend some family time together. I thought maybe we could go for a drive, head down to Bay Vista Park.” He suggested. “There’s plenty of shade to sit in. We can take a picnic, climb some trees, me and Mary can have a game of Ultimate Frisbee, perhaps a swim. Hey, we might even spot some manatees.”

“Sounds great.” Fliss agreed, turning her head back round and laying down on the pillow. It was silent for a while, and Frank thought she’d drifted off to sleep until he felt her take a shuddering breath and her shoulders began to shake.

“Hey, come on.” Frank pulled her closer, pressing another kiss to her neck and she turned in his arms, pressing her face into his chest.

“I can’t believe she’s gone.” Fliss sniffed, as Frank’s hand ran up and down her back.

“I’m sorry, Sweetheart. I wish there was something I could do to make this better.”

“This is helping, a little.” She spluttered and Frank gave a soft chuckle, kissing her head again.

“Then you can stay like this all night.” He replied, closing his eyes as he simply held her close.

Eventually, Frank felt Fliss’ breathing grow even, and even though he couldn’t see in the dark of their room he knew she was asleep.

“Night, Baby.” He whispered, kissing her forehead and at that he heard Thor give out a little huff as the dog hopped down off the bed, his basket creaking before there was a soft thud indicating he’d bedded down there.

And, as Frank drifted off, he couldn’t help smile at just how the faithful dog had waited until he knew his precious human was asleep before he left her side.

***** Chapter 22

Dedicated to my gorgeous, wonderful, bad tempered but oh-so-loyal and loving chestnut mare, Sandybrook Hideaway. Keep waiting on that rainbow bridge until I find you again.

#riding on #frank adler #frank adler x ofc #frank adler x original female character #frank adler x oc #gifted #gifted fan fic #chris evans #chris evans characters

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angryschnauzer · 4 years

Text

Invite Us In

Summary: You're tired. You're grumpy. You're cramping. And when two of SHIELD's finest Vampires turn up at your door at sunrise, you kind of have to invite them in...

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Oral Sex, Period Oral Sex, Periods, Werewolf, Vampires, Vampire Bucky, Vampire Steve, werewolf female reader, crack fic, squicks.

Pairing: Stucky x Female Reader

I do not operate a tag list but if you follow @angryschnauzerwrites and put that blog onto notifications, you will get an alert whenever i post something new. Oneshots will be posted on Tumblr and AO3, Multichapters will be AO3 exclusives. I do not have a masterlist due to the sheer number of fics i have written, but you can find them all on AO3 link HERE

Invite Us In

The insistent knocking on the door made you groan, you had only just gotten home and the last thing you needed was visitors after the night you’d had. Growling as you grasped the heavy iron lock, you pulled the latch and peered out through the gap in the door, groaning at the sight;

“What are you two doing here?”

Opening the door wider you leant against the doorpost, hooking one leg over the other at your ankles and crossing your arms. Steve and Bucky were standing on your doorstep, beaten and bloody, and grinning like idiots;

“Hey there Doll” Bucky drawled; “We could kinda use some help…”

“Yeah, we got caught up in an all night mission and can’t make it back to base before sunrise… can we crash here?”

Groaning you rolled your eyes at the two doofuses in front of you, it was typical of their behaviour, get caught up in a fight after a mission and only just make it back to base before the powerful rays of sun licked at their pale white asses… considering they had both been vampires for over 75 years, you would have thought they would be able to keep track of the sunrise by now… but it would seem not;

“Really? I have only just changed, i’ve had a hell of a night…”

“Babe… please…” Steve begged, the two of them shuffling a little closer towards you as the rays of light moved along the floor towards them as the morning sun rose; “Please… invite us in…”

Rolling your eyes again you sighed, as a magical being yourself you knew you couldn’t let two of the finest Supernatural fighters poof into piles of dust, so with great reluctance your shoulders sagged;

“Fine… please do come in…”

The two men trooped into your small apartment, coming to a halt when they saw how small your living quarters were; a single room studio apartment, small bathroom off to the side, and the couch pulled out into a bed.

“Cosy” Bucky muttered, toeing his boots off and unbuckling his jacket

Steve nodded, a smirk on his face to which you felt like slapping straight off.

“Hey, not all of us get paid the mega bucks you two do. Plus… i have to spend four days of a month off active duty… like now…”

“Oh… Its that time…” Steve started

“Yes, of the month. Like i said, i only just changed and i was up all night”

You went to boil water for some tea, your back to the two men when you felt the hairs on the back of your neck prick up, turning you let out a yelp when you found yourself boxed in by the two large vampires in your apartment;

“What are you…?” you started, only to be cut off by Bucky;

“We can smell you…”

Groaning you rolled your head;

“Oh man… i even vacuumed, is there dog hair too?”

The dark haired vamp blinked and looked confused;

“What are you talking about?”

“What are you talking about?” you countered

“Your period” Steve clarified. Your mouth fell into a large ‘oh’ before Steve continued; “What do you mean dog?”

“The full moon? Being off every 28 days? You guys haven’t figured it out?” They both shook their heads; “Oh boy… ok yeah i’m on my period… but that’s because i’m a fucking werewolf. Every month i get really fucking ratty because i have to turn into a giant dog for three nights, AND when i change as the sun rises i get the joy of having my period when all i want to do is curl into a ball because of cramps and eat chocolate which makes me really fucking sick because i’m half DOG…”

Both men were silent for a moment, before they moved closer, each resting a hand on your hip. Steve pressed his mouth to one ear;

“We can help with the period cramps…”

“And it’ll help us too…” Bucky added

“What? How?”

“Are we gonna have to spell it out for ya Doll? We’re hungry… and you’re bleeding…”

“Oh. OH”

You turned to Steve for clarification but his mouth caught yours, his tongue pushing and to your surprise you opened for him. Through the kiss you were vaguely aware of Bucky pulling your t-shirt down your shoulder and pressing his lips to your neck, sucking against your skin. Pulling away from Steve you went to warn Bucky against any funny business with his sharp teeth, but any protests were swallowed when his lips met yours.

In a mass of limbs pulling at clothing you made your way across your tiny apartment, falling into a heap on your bed. Bucky pulled at your panties, and you tensed as he saw your core. Tugging gently at the string of your tampon he slid it out of you, tossing it into the small trash can at the side of your bed. He looked like utter sin, his chest bare, his pants partially unbuttoned as he knelt on the bed and lifted one of your legs, pressing kisses to your skin as he trailed his lips from your ankle to your knee and then further. When his lips touched yours you let out a sigh, your hands scrambling for something to grab onto, and finding Steve at your side. He leant down and kissed you, his sharp teeth rubbing against yours, before he pulled away;

“Does doggy want a treat?”

“Steve… what do you…?”

He unbuttoned his pants and tugged them down, his hard dick springing out and slapping against his stomach;

“A nice meaty treat”

Grinning you nodded at him, watching as he shuffled on his knees and you were able to take him into your mouth, moaning around his impressing length as Bucky’s long tongue pushed into your aching walls, tasting you. He groaned against your lips, sending sensations through your body which in turn made you hum around Steve. Relaxing your jaw you looked up and nodded, working your tongue over him as he started to fuck your mouth.

You could feel your orgasm starting to grow in the pit of your stomach, Bucky giving out sweet torture between your legs. As his teeth gently scraped against your folds it was the final trigger, and as you started to come Steve reached he peak too, spurting ropes of cum down your throat which you happily swallowed.

Laying back on the bed you sighed, the flood of relief coursing through your body a welcome change from the tenseness that had consumed you for so many full moons in the past. With your eyes closed you were vaguely aware of the two men moving around, before you felt a cool metal hand against your chin;

“Open up Doll, you’ve been such a good girl you can have a second treat”

Opening your eyes you were greeted with the sight of Bucky’s thick and meaty dick just inches from your face, and taking hold of your chin with his metal hand he guided himself between your lips as Steve’s tongue found its way home between your thighs.

Whereas Bucky had a long tongue, Steve’s was wide, and as he opened his mouth he was seemingly able to cover your entire sex with his mouth, his thick tongue lapping at your entrance. The two men soon set to work, Bucky praising you for taking his dick so well, Steve eating you out like he hadn’t had a meal in months. As you came on Steve’s tongue he drank down everything you gave him, Bucky pulling out of your mouth as he fisted his wide girth;

“Open your mouth doll, i wanna see you hold it on your tongue”

Sticking your tongue out you watched as he pumped himself just a couple of times before he was coming in powerful spurts, shooting his cum into your mouth with trigger precision just like the sniper he was.

Laying back on the bed again you were in seventh heaven, the endorphins rushing through your body and the orgasms having gotten rid of your cramps, you could get used to this you thought to yourself. You watched through heavy lids as the two men licked at the others face and chin, catching the last drops of precious blood, and you felt your insides clench with arousal, a small moan escaping your throat.

“Ready for more Doll?”

Spreading your legs you ran your hands along your thighs;

“I’m not gonna say no…”

“WOOF”

Bucky and Steve were woken by your loud bark, looking bleary eyed and crumpled from sleep.

“What the…?”

Another quieter bark as you sat on your haunches at the side of the bed had them remembering what you had told them, before you got up and picked up a note, walking back to the bed and dropped it in Steve’s lap.

“She left us a note…

‘Thank you for an amazing night. If you could kindly let me out when you leave, that would be great’

You growled quietly and the two vamps looks at you and smiled, before climbing out of bed and started to get dressed.

On the sidewalk outside your building the three of you stood and breathed in the cool night air, before you looked up and saw the moon, the urge to run and howl soon overtaking any other thought. As you started to run along the pavement the two men called out in the silent night;

“Hey girl!”

You stopped and paused as Steve spoke;

“You need us to come over again in the morning?”

Trotting back to them you stood as then bent down and scratched your ears;

“Huh Doll, you want more?”

You licked Bucky’s face then Steve’s, the two vamps laughing;

“We’ll take that as a yes”

With a howl of joy you ran off into the night, excited for your midnight run, and even more excited for your morning fun.

#stucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers x reader #vampire bucky #vampire steve #vampire bucky barnes #vampire steve rogers #werewolf reader #vampire x werewolf

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bae-science · 3 years

Text

it’s t-t-t-t-time for another newt bae-science fic rec extravabonanza! same rules, same boys, same bullshit! let’s get into it:

a beginning; a second chance by @dykesword

other newt and i have a long and intricate ritualistic battle to become the alpha newt, but i gotta give credit where it’s due. if you like to annotate your books for fun, this fic will give you a looooong comment you’ll want to write, and for good reason! there’s a lot of really well done metaphor and character detail in here, while still keeping a very soft, melancholy but with a hopeful edge tone. and also, like, the care and detail in which newt’s mental state in the aftermath of the precursors’ abuse is depicted is so so good, and delightful to read

husbandly duties by @kingeiszler

i am soooo biased with this one bc technically it was made for me but GODDAMN it’s good. this shit has everything: gottlieb trio sibling dynamics, vanessa in giant femme earrings, hermann yearning, newt and karla infodumping together, newt’s terrible and accurate gaydar, gay crime, the newmann dynamic and why it works boiled down to its bare essentials, pride and prejudice glasses touch, and neon green acrylics. required reading for the vanessaverse

Say That Again by @robertfrobisherslover

WOOF. if you like mutual pining and lack of communication from men with rocks for their emotional processing centers, and guncle (gay uncle) newt and hermann and KILLER artsy sex scenes, and themes of words unsaid in a story about LANGUAGE..... oogoogogoogouhufug. the writing style is clear and well paced, i LOVE little mako’s scene she’s such a cutie, and there’s like. a line. that’s a play on the whole “it’s always been you” trope. that lives in my mind rent free forever.

speak right to my heart without saying a word by @thekaidonovskys

i’m just gonna paste the comment i left on it here, because that sums up what is so absolutely incredible about this fic the best:

so sometimes you stumble on a piece of fiction that you add to your little collection of stuff you would show a person if you wanted them to understand a part of you that you can't quite explain eloquently, or it would take too long, etc etc, and i've never really found something like that for my autism until now, which, like, poggers. and i'll be as straight up as i can while still being the biggest lesbian in the great state of ohio (not a hard feat but alan invented computers so i love continuing on the autistic tradition of being a living miracle), the chameleon effect hit me like a mack truck. catholic school in the deep south is the most potent and effective form of ABA therapy imaginable :/. so sometimes i wonder what i would be like if i didn't have such a strong ability to pass, and here's where we finally get to the part of this comment where i just vomit compliments at you: you nailed it. you got it. i don't know if you're on the spectrum, but either way, well fucking done. trauma therapy research talks a lot about healing fantasies, which are fantasies, usually in the form of daydreams, that abused/neglected/traumatized/etc people create that directly address a struggle they have and take the form of a scenario in which that struggle is helped in some way. it could be an abusive parent repenting and showering them with the love they never had, or someone finding them during a panic attack and somehow knowing how best to comfort them without having to ask, or being intimate with someone and having a scar or physical deformity they've been shamed for be given attention and care. and i think you have created the ultimate perfect healing fantasy for autistic people, or at least those with """"high functioning"""" autism. it has a character who is visibly and undeniably on the spectrum having the pain and trauma going through life like that causes being acknowledged and validated, they are purposefully paid attention to because person b genuinely likes them and wants to understand and respect who they are and how they function in the world, and thus get The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known as well as the eventual rewards of being loved, person b makes a genuine effort to help teach them social skills in a way they can understand and learn through and is there for them when these skills are being practiced, their space and boundaries are respected but they aren't infantilized or thought of as an emotionless robot, and they receive love and comfort on their own terms not despite of but because of who they are, even specifically being asked not to change the way they are because that way is lovable. they are openly desired. writing is my fucking JOB and it's still difficult to put into words how much you got 100000% right about the dream with this fic. i have been in the EXACT and i mean EXACT same situation as hermann when he asked newt if it was his personality itself that made people not like him, because i deadass made a spreadsheet of all my personality attributes i thought could be preventing me from making friends in college, and then asked my fellow nd friend to see if there was anything i was missing. so i guess what i'm trying to say is that this amazing, and i'm bookmarking it and putting it on my next fic rec post, and maybe one day way way in the future if i ever get a partner i want to explain the whole autism thing to, i'm gonna have them read this.

The Facts With Newton Geiszler, PhD by what_alchemy (NSFW)

storytime: i read this fic a few years ago, completely forgot the title and author, and ended up thinking about the part where hermann admits to having fucked a trailer hitch when he was a teenager, at least once a week. last november, i say to my friend samara on twitter, head of the BSHCU (buttslut hermann cinematic universe), hey this seems like something you’d have read, do you remember a fic where... and samara says FUCK i do know what you’re talking about lemme find it. so if the fact that i have been looking for this fic for like, two years, and that it contains a moment so iconic all i had to say is, “hermann says he fucked a trailer hitch” and she IMMEDIATELY knew what i was talking about, does not convince you to read this... go back to catholic school i guess.

Feeling Blue by TempusPetrichor

fics where newt goes back to work as a biologist, especially a xenobiologist, post pru are really interesting, and usually have something neat to say about recovery, how it isn’t linear, how it often involves us returning to things we love for comfort, etc. this one sure does! some good emotional and physical h/c, LOVE the use of the ghost drift, and it’s always fun to see post pru fics use dialogue very obviously taken from dbt, trauma-specific therapeutical texts, and anything that shows the author has experience with, or did their research on, ptsd therapies.

You’re Everyone That Ever Cared by KlavierWrites

you know a fic is good when it’s an only 9k slowburn and still manages to reach infinite regress levels of are you fucking KIDDING GO TO THERAPY. newt “acts of service” geiszler may have a little misplaced misogyny due to his broken woman-centric gaydar. as a treat. the fucking. post-drift scene where hermann subtextually screams “LOOK IN OUR BRAINS YOU FUCK I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU I JUST HAVE AUTISM AND CAREER IN STEM DISORDER” is soooooo. god just hermann in general in that scene is great. if you like classic mid 2010s era newmann, ghost drift romance, and good ole mutual pining, this is a treat.

Baby, You're Hotter than my Bunsen Burner by SkySongMA

moronosexual hermann representation is something that can actually be so personal

Times of Stress by RadioMoth

the boys are processinggggggg. man what a good, quick and powerful punch to the gut. if you like post-pr1 catharsis and physical h/c, AND are the one friend that likes to comment at the end of the movie that hey newt got beat the fuck UP, check this one out.

black tea by @faggotcas

okay first of all, god fucking tier url, lee. second of all, food as a love language is my SHIT. i love the very slow relationship development here, where you see them making a genuine effort to get along and that in turn leading to feelings reigniting. it’s such a sweet little moment of a fic, with a nice atmosphere and tone to fit it

now here’s the part where i usually drop my latest fic, but i haven’t written one this month because i’ve been busy launching an audio drama! you can find it here, it’ll be right up your alley if you like cryptids and gay scientists and enemies to lovers and good ole americana, but since this is a newmann post, i’m gonna recommend the pacific rim audio drama duology i did a while back! part one is called conversations from the brink, and it’s a little slice of the pr3 we better fucking get from streaming that godawful looking anime. love and lesbians to everyone ❤️

#pacific rim #pac rim #mine #newmann #pacific rim uprising #fic rec

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because-of-a-friend · 4 years

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Boyfriend!Hoshi Fluff

MASTERLIST

This is another series that I only do by request so if you see that there’s one I haven’t written yet that you want, please request it! I’m sorry this one took so long! I’ll try to time things better next time! (But I am currently in my Hoshi feels so this request came at a good time)

Like Josh

Soonyoung strikes me as the kind of person who’d prefer to know someone and become friends with them before dating them

You’ve been friends with Mingyu for as long as you can remember

And you’ve met a few of the boys here and there throughout the years

But Mingyu tries to keep you to himself bc you’re like his best friend and he doesn’t want to share you

But one day you come over to the dorm

You text Mingyu that you’re there and wait outside the door

Then suddenly it opens

You go to put your phone away as you grumble

“Geez Mingyu, what took you so long?”

But when you look up

It is not Mingyu opening the door

It’s Soonyoung

And you’re like ????

And then !!!!!

Bc you’ve never met him before and that wasn’t a great first impression

And then you’re just stuttering out something like “Oh... you’re not Mingyu...”

And Soonyoung is stuttering out something like “And who are you?”

But just then Chan walks by and recognizes you

“[Y/N]! I didn’t know you were coming here!”

He pulls you inside

You awkwardly bow to Soonyoung as you pass by

The rest of the members are all home that day

So you meet the rest of the boys at once

It’s a little intimidating but they all like you immediately

And despite the fact that Mingyu is trying to push you out the door before they can speak to you anymore

They invite you over to hang out again that weekend

And so it begins that you start hanging out with all of the boys more often

Soonyoung and you get along great

Despite your awkward first encounter

His humor always makes you laugh and you share a lot of interests

I guess it’s just good chemistry, the two of you click really well

First he’s too nervous to hang out with you one on one

So for awhile, the two of you only see each other in group settings with the other boys around

But it’s fine because you’re getting to know all of the boys you’ve never met before

You definitely start growing close to them as a group

And Mingyu is happy with it bc he realizes that all of you being friends is great and it’s like you’re one of them and he doesn’t feel jealous at all

Soon hanging out with the boys becomes a norm for you

You all do everything together

And you spend most of your free time at the dorm

It becomes more common for you to branch off and hang out with the boys one on one

The first time you really hang out with Soonyoung is late one night

All of you are having a movie marathon

But you run out of snacks

You volunteer to walk to the nearby convenience store to get some more

Soonyoung volunteers to go with you

The two of you walk comfortably down the street

You’re trying not to notice how cuddly Soonyoung looks in his hoodie

And with his persistent yawning that’s always followed by him insisting he’s not that tired

You both take your time picking out snacks and drinks at the store

And you get yourselves ice cream for the walk back

You naturally just kind of link your arm with his and walk in sync as you make your way back

“Am I the only one that didn’t like that alien movie?”

“Oh thank god, I’m so glad you said that! Everyone else liked it so much, I thought I was gonna go insane!”

You both joke and laugh

“Hey, [Y/N]?”

He asks when you reach the dorm

“What’s up Soonie?”

“I’m just really glad you’re around”

You look at him and you both just stare at each other for a second

Then Soonyoung breaks the eye contact to look down at the ground and scratch the back of his head

“I mean, we all are! All of us are really happy to have you in our lives”

“Thanks, Soonie”

Your face hurts from how much you’re smiling

Soonyoung smiles back just as wide and leans over to ruffle your hair

After that night, the two of you spend a lot more one on one time

At first it’s just because you two realize you really enjoy each other’s company

And then it kind of becomes.... a little more deep than that

But neither of you really think about it

Until one day

You two are talking in the kitchen of the dorm

And Soonyoung brings up an inside joke between the two of you

You two start laughing

And then Chan

Who is sitting across the room from y’all

Just goes

“Are you two dating or something?”

Your laughter abruptly stops

And Vernon

Who is sitting next to Chan

Grabs him and drags him out of the room

Leaving you and Soonyoung alone

And woof

Is that the most awkward silence you’ve ever encountered

You both just sit there for a second

Not sure how to move forward from that moment

Soonyoung gives out an awkward laugh

“Sorry about Dino... sometimes he just says things he shouldn’t...”

“No it’s ok!”

You also laugh awkwardly

The next time you two see each other you both act like nothing happened

And then you two continue hanging out like normal

And it’s all the same

Or so you thought

One day, Soonyoung texts you and asks if you two can meet up

You agree enthusiastically and head towards the location he sent you

It ends up being this really cool green house/ garden place

And it looks so pretty because it’s around sunset

“Wow Soonie! This place is so cool! I can’t believe I didn’t know it existed!”

You grab his arm and begin excitedly drag him around the building

And as you’re exploring the place you realize Soonyoung is being a lot more quiet than usual

So you slow on a path and link your arm with his

You two walk in comfortable silence for a bit

You sneak glances at him

He looks so... serious

It’s strange to see him like that

“What’s up Soonie?”

He looks at you

Your heart skips a beat just from the look

It’s filled with so much emotion and you don’t think anyone’s ever looked at you like that

“I can’t stop thinking about...”

“About what, Soonyoung?”

“What Chan said the other day”

He breaks eye contact and looks in the other direction

“Hey” you say quietly, stopping completely and pulling him to look at you

“Finish that thought, Soonyoung”

“I just... why aren’t we dating?”

“Oh, well... I didn’t know you even felt that way about me”

“[Y/N], are you kidding me? I think about you all the time. Every time you look at me, I feel my heart soar. Nothing and no one has ever felt as right as being with you.”

You pull him forward by his jacket and crash your lips against his

It takes him no time to respond, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist to keep you close

Even though you two are already so close and know so much about each other

He wants to take time with your relationship and build it up like it’s brand new

He doesn’t want the two of you to rush into it and get overwhelmed and then give up on your relationship without giving it a real chance

So first he takes you on a bunch of typical dates

And asks you the dumbest questions, lol

“So, what do you like to do for fun?”

“You already know Soonyoung, we see each other almost every day”

But the dates are lots of fun and he’s super cute, so

As time goes on and your relationship gets more serious

Soonyoung gets really worried about being a good enough boyfriend

Your relationship progressing sparks a lot of communication between the two of you

He always wants to know that you’re on the same page and that both of you think things are going well

He’s genuinely such a considerate boyfriend

A lot more serious than you thought he would be

Especially when life is hard in general

He’ll show up at your place and just hold your hands as he quietly talks about what’s bothering him

He’ll be embarrassed if he cries in front of you but it happens sometimes

You always assure him that it’s ok and that he should be able to depend on you as much as you depend on him

And then he’ll cry more bc he loves you so much

In fact, he’s crying the first time he actually says “I love you”

And you really think this sweet sweet boy is gonna kill you with how loved he makes you feel

Seriously, his emotions are huge and intense

But that doesn’t mean your relationship isn’t also super fun and lighthearted because it is quite often

You two love to go out and do crazy things

You also love spending lots of time with the other boys

You have to hang out with Mingyu more so he doesn’t feel like Hoshi stole his best friend lol

But he’s also super happy you two are together and thinks y’all are good for each other

Everyone does

You two seem to be a perfect match

You support him when things are tough and also accompany him on all the random activities he wants to go on

And he pushes you out of your comfort zone and teaches you a lot about enjoying life

The two of you really enjoy going on walks

It gives the opportunity to stumble upon more fun activities

Like that one time you found that random butterfly garden and you thought Soonyoung was gonna pass out from his excited vibrating

It also gives the two of you time to talk

Which, as cheesy as it sounds, is your favorite thing to do together

Because the two of you can talk and talk about anything and everything without ever getting bored

You also start spending a lot of time at the practice room watching him dance

He likes to show you the new stuff he’s working on

And sometimes you’ll cheer for him and make a big deal out of clapping and such

And he’ll just slide over to where you’re sitting and pinch your cheeks for being so cute

He also enjoys teaching you some dance moves

(No matter how bad you are at it)

But overall

Your relationship is really pure and steady and great

Soonyoung is a great bf and you don’t mind reassuring him when he doubts it

You’re incredibly grateful to have him in your life and you can’t imagine being with anyone else

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blysse-and-blunder · 3 years

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in lieu of a -- wait did i not just do this

uh 7:30 pm, june 27, 2021

did i not just fucking do this?? what is summer time. summer reading updates under the cut!

reading making gradual progress on a bunch of my summer reads. i didn’t make a plan or a book list, though i have admired those of you who have-- that kind of forethought! intention behind your choices? putting together a priority list or a plan? couldn’t be me. anyway, currently on the main burner(s), i’ve got:

- a canticle for leibowitz, walter m. miller, jr. i sank a good hour or two into this one this afternoon, and as much as i want to interrogate the premise (why would medieval-ish catholicism survive a nuclear apocalypse versus like, anything else?), there’s some underlying stuff going on that i enjoy. will try to finish, about halfway through.

- the poppy war, r. f. kuang. i’ve hit part two, the lore training has kicked into gear, and i’m vibing a bit more with the style. i wasn’t sure there was going to be magic but i think it looks like there is? i’ve also heard this one gets heavy, so...something to look forward to. there’s been plenty of drugs and violence, but none of it has been too, too graphic-- the unhealthy study methods have bothered me more! also bc that’s where i’ve been like...clearly this is fantasy. clearly a real human could not learn like this.

- watership down, richard adams. the rabbits have reached the down, holly and bluebell (?) have shown up (i managed not to be scarred by the ghostly black rabbit moments, the story of what happened to their original warren was far worse imho), they’re following hazel’s plan to take care of other creatures (mice, birds) in order to gain allies, and bigwig is tending to his gull. this definitely isn’t like most of the other animal-protag novels i’ve read, and i’m enjoying it. best of all, maybe, they’re finally realizing something that occurred to me in chapter one, which is that there are no female characters? at all? and that they’ll need to fix that-- for rabbit-procreation reasons, ofc, but also i really hope that translates to, you know. actual female characters.

- the book of delights, ross gay. tumblr recommended this to me, accidentally, through screenshots of the ‘carrying a tomato seedling through an airport’ essay. it’s a year’s worth of daily essays where gay writes about delight. they’re usually quick to read, but beautiful-- i don’t like to speed through them, despite the informality and breezy style, because they often make me think or want to savor them for a minute. a little over halfway through.

- the dark lord of derkholm, diana wynne jones. about 25% through. derk just summoned the blue demon by accident and of course that’s...going super well. this a ‘read to relax before bed’ book and i know i’ve written about it here before anyway, so i’ll just say-- still good.

- interesting times, terry pratchett. woof. it’s interesting reading this alongside the poppy war (and after some of the other takes on fantasy!china i’ve read this spring, the grace of kings and under heaven , just to mention novels) and realize how...it’s just uninformed. like he’s doing his usual pterry-discworld-hyperbole-and-humor thing, and maybe there’ll be a funny line or turn of phrase on each page, but the overall direction of the satire is...about obedience and about subservience, and it unfortunately rings as hella superior and not all that clever. another one i read to fall asleep, about 45% through.

listening, watching were both pretty fallow this week. more water time (watching the anime free!) with @hematiterings and @pep-squad-lizzie, and the promise of future untamed time with them, @dimir-charmer, and even newly minted phd candidate @dinosauriaawesome (!!!!!), but i haven’t watched much of note on my own. maybe some word of honor, in which case the thoughts would be “scorpion and his ~godfather~ are my favorite villains but wtf even is their dynamic, oh no xie’er is doing that thing with his eyes again and while it is pretty he is not permitted to be sad!! make xie’er less sad!!” and “ye baiyi is a Wholeass Mood and possibly my favorite part of the show, idk”, with a side-helping of “okay, okay, this plot is starting to be mildly engaging” bc we’ve gotten more wen kexing backstory.

playing spent longer than i should have back with ultramoon this weekend, hunting an abra and trying not to scream at the incessant magnemites. also bought my little trainer some new duds, including sweet blue knee socks, got her hair did, etc. why do i have the hardest time nicknaming these little virtual monsters? i swear it takes me 15 min to choose a moniker for each (though on the plus side, having done that helps me overcome my distaste for the boring/weird ones, which i’m sure is the point. nothing like naming something to help you view a thing as cute...sorry grimer).

making going to say that organizing the garage and basement on saturday counts here, because we made space and it made me happy and also oh thank god, the diminished chaos in the living room is such a relief.

working on started reading an academic article written in welsh on...thursday last week? and i’m nearly on page two!! the excitement here is definitely tinged with a lottle bit of panic!

#in lieu of a commonplace book #ilcb #weekly roundup #i'm reading fiction and vibing and not much else these days clearly #escapism my beloved

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chelsfic · 3 years

Text

fic writer interview

Awww, thanks for the tag, @theoceanismyinkwell! This will take a while...

How many works do you have on AO3?

73 😆

What’s your total AO3 word count?

452,366 👀

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

..............26

I won’t list them all, but I’ve written the most for What We Do in the Shadows, MCU and Dracula

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Woof... I don’t think these fics represent my current style at all. Notably every last one of them is a Reader-insert or OC fic. (Hey kids, if you want hits, reader-inserts are perennially popular). So, the top one for kudos is actually a fic that I wrote anonymously. So I won’t share it. The next four are: Inherited (Dracula), Take Me Over (MCU), His Girl Friday (MCU) and Leftovers (WWDITS).

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try and reply to every comment that I get on AO3. Sometimes it takes me a while to respond, though. I didn’t always do this. I have tons of unanswered comments from years ago that I will never get to.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

All of the angst I write is always angst-with-a-happy-ending. But, I suppose the ending to Maybe One Day, My Love is mildly angsty if you don’t read the sexy sequel. Maybe One Day, My Love is a fic that takes place ten years following the Theater. Memo has been living on his own all of that time with no contact with Nandor. Except... Except for once every week when he goes to the park at night and sits on a bench and talks out loud to the shadow that he pretends he doesn’t notice. Recounting his days, summarizing his life... but never ever directly addressing or reaching out to, the vampire hidden in the shadows. It’s quite angsty and I’m really proud of it.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Uhhh hahaha, I wrote one crossover. It was a Stucky fic based on Buzzfeed Unsolved. So basically Steve and Bucky were the ghoul boys. It was really fun to write. It’s called Till the Ghouls Come Home.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Only once.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yuuuuuup. I write mostly mlm, but I have written mlw and I aspire to write wlw when the inspiration strikes me. I like to write kinky smut. I love dom/sub. I really enjoy writing body worship/appreciation.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I haven’t...

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Oh! Yes! Someone translated Let Me See You Come Undone into Russian. But they didn’t post it to AO3. I guess it is on a Russian site... *shrug*?

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I sure have! Me and @jackiegaytona wrote: You've Got Electronic Letters: The Unholy Correspondence of Nandor the Relentless, Guillermo de la Cruz and Other Miscellaneous Dark Creatures! It’s an epistolary one-shot about how Guillermo and Nandor first met. I also have... a neglected WIP with @safetyhazardfics 🤣

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Nandermo!

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Yeesh... probably Unseemly Desire, or Nandor's Season of Self-Discovery. I started this fic RIGHT before I started writing Guillermo the Heartless and I never looked back haha.

What are your writing strengths?

I am told that I have a talent for exploring in depth, complicated emotions and psychology.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I would say that I struggle to craft captivating and unique imagery. I try to avoid falling back on cliche descriptions, but I know that it is not my strongest area.

I also tend to get TOO MUCH in my characters’ heads. I can go on and on describing a character’s inner thoughts and I think that gets boring. I try to be aware of this and perforate all of the introspection with dialogue and action.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it’s great and adds verisimilitude. I love languages and have studied A LITTLE BIT of French, Spanish and Chinese. So... I’m comfortable with peppering in some vocab words, but not necessarily writing complicated sentences. Luckily I have friends to help me.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

NSYNC. I don’t want to discuss it.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

It would have to be my beloved Guillermo the Heartless. My only novel-length fic and the story that I spent a good half year of my life lovingly crafting.

Tagging: @safetyhazardfics

@upstartcrow42

@1zashreena1

@walkwithursus

@andyandnormski

@mapnerdbloodbag

#tag games

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sometimesrosy · 2 years

Text

I posted 1,310 times in 2021

159 posts created (12%)

1151 posts reblogged (88%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 7.2 posts.

I added 190 tags in 2021

#lol - 51 posts

#meow - 30 posts

#writing advice - 29 posts

#shadow and bone - 23 posts

#writeblr - 12 posts

#woof - 11 posts

#s&b - 9 posts

#rosywrites - 9 posts

#sab - 8 posts

#writing process - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#funny though my sister's first name is chinese and my brother's first name is spanish so the three of us have names from all over the world

My Top Posts in 2021

1) hey rosy. this is kinda late, but when S7 ended, I was so upset, I just compartmentalized and moved on. then a couple days ago, I just somehow saw a bellarke fanfic and I feel so very sad at how bellarke ended. maybe it's sad, but I truly have never seen a relationship like theirs in tv OR in real life. Built on so much reciprocal unconditional compassion, love, respect, support, and growth that flipped gender norms. it was so beautiful. it could've been the greatest love story.

2) I was so looking forward to them ending together in a beautiful way, and having a show to rewatch forever. but now, it's hard to rewatch any of it, knowing how it ends.just thinking of how the writers vilified clarke (how sexist was that, esp for a show that prided itself on being feminist) and completely erased bellamy, and just crushed both characters and a relationship they spent seasons building to be so complex and significant, reduced them to a joke, is so painful to me.

3) so I guess I have a few ?s for you. Q1: is it normal to feel this level of pain/hurt at something that's not even real?? Q2: are there any fanfics you can recommend where S7 is written so they end up together? Q3: I cannot fathom how JR was able to destroy his own creation. how do you make sense of it?? it makes me feel like he never actually saw the value in what he created that we all did. but I don't get how that's possible, given HE made it. Bellarke was truly a revolutionary relationshp.

+++

1. I think it’s normal. I also felt the same way as you did. Still do. When you’ve invested so much energy into a thing and then at the end, it just falls apart and there’s no catharsis, and it just overall fails? Why wouldn’t it hurt. Also it might be, in your subconscious, connected to the world and all it’s struggles. Pandemic. Political. Power. Racism. You know it’s a show about the apocalypse, and here we are smack dab in what seems like our own real life apocalypse. It’s not even symbolic. So I think it’s normal to maybe feel a little transference with the fictional show.

2. I am not good at giving recs. I just can’t remember the titles of what I read. And besides, I haven’t read fanfic in a couple of years (for a few reasons, some related to fandom and some related to my mental health and some related to my job ghostwriting.) HOWEVER, I can ask people if they have any good recs for S7 bellarke fics. Can y’all share, if you’re still around? People are still reading and people still care about bellarke. please and thank you.

3. Why did he gut his story? I have a few theories. I don’t think it was accidental. I don’t think he didn’t know how to finish his story. There was plenty of evidence that it was heading towards a bellarke ending in the narrative. And he was wrapping up the story through other subplots. Here’s my theory though. People on twitter cut and pasted stuff the last time I wrote this and completely misinterpreted what I was saying, and put me on JR’s side which is the farthest from the truth.

I blame JR for being a little sellout bastard. I’ve always said that hollywood is dangerous because any show can sell out. I think he sold out. I think someone wanted an ending that did not empower ‘the revolution’ of liberal BIPOC and LGBTQ+ and other minorities that were represented by the delinquents our story was about. And I think they offered him his new show if he made it so Clarke did NOT end up as the hero. So he tanked his story in order to tell that other one. Anaconda. The way the story ended just was too similar to the beliefs of the religious far right, even down to the apocalypse and rapture being swept up into heaven where you’d get your reward... except Clarke didn’t because she was unworthy of heaven, even though the other murderers and villains were. ??? What makes Clarke special? She rebelled. She was bisexual. She was a woman who took power from tyrants. All things the right did not want to see.

So why did he tank Bellarke? I think fandom was right. He was a vindictive man, like they said he was. And I think he hated the bellarke fandom for harassing him for five years. I mean, the bellarke fandom is very hatable. Not the whole fandom of course, but a big portion of it. A very LOUD portion of it, who demanded what they wanted and ignored it when they actually GOT what they wanted. I think he denied us Bellarke because he didn’t like the fans. For good reasons. So thanks to us... no not us. thanks to the Bellarke antis who bullied the cast and crew, JR took out his frustrations on the story and ruined Bellarke.

And then again, he screwed Bob over for taking time out. I think he had already given up on the show, and Bellarke, and Bob needing to take care of himself was the last straw, so he just fucking erased him. Same as he did Lincoln in season 3, although that story worked better as a narrative. He cared more about the story at that point and this time he just didn’t give a fuck anymore. He had already moved on.

I could never have done that because I love my stories and my characters, but he’s from hollywood and hollywood is full of assholes.

57 notes • Posted 2021-04-21 13:50:41 GMT

Do you still post about The 100? I'm one who has read the books so watching the way they treated Bellamy as well as Bob pissed me off it also didn't make any sense reminded me of how Lincoln and the actor who played him was treated I don't know if I'm the only one who feels that way or not of course I shipped Bellarke and seeing how Jason also baited and trolled the fans I don't like it I think he even said in a interview once that they'll get there with their relationship obviously that was

a lie but seeing their relationship every season you can see how it was getting there only to be ripped away from us I thought at least by the end of season 6 something would happen between them but nope then maybe season 7? Sadly we got nothing and if that doesn't make it bad what's worse is Bellamy's death was basically excused like he deserved it even though later on he was right. Another thing though is the way he acted in the later half of season 7 is nothing like him.

+++

I do still post about The 100, but much more rarely. I'm not obsessed anymore and I'm still a bit pissed about how they ended it, how they treated Bellamy and how they treated Clarke.

I'm mad at JR. Long ago, when he screwed over Ricky, I didn't want to judge because, well, I didn't have enough information to judge. But as JR repeated his behavior with Bob, it turns out that the fans that hated him were correct. He was an asshole. I mean, he's a hollywood director so I assumed he was, as it's like a professional requirement or something, but he was an asshole in service of his ego instead of an asshole in service of his story. So they were absolutely right.

And he DID say Bellarke would get there eventually but it was a long journey. He also had Bob and Eliza act as if they were in love. And he wrote a story with that love at the center-- whether it was consummated or not.

It was NOT a lie. That was the story he was telling. But something kept him from declaring it within the narrative every time. We don't know what it was. Was he afraid of the Moonlighting curse? (where the two love interests lost their chemistry once they consummated? of course those actors HATED each other while Bellarke's actors married each other.) Was he waiting for the BEST moment, and then waited too long? Was he truly just screwing with the Bellarke fans? Did he RESENT the bellarke fans? (they were harassing him so my money is on this. it was revenge.) Did he get angry at Bob for betraying him and taking care of himself? IDK maybe. Seems like. Also I read something anon from people on set, and apparently JR essentially dropped The 100 in anticipation of his NEW series. He sold out his current show so that he could get picked up. And he had plenty of opportunities for Bellarke romance, and chose, each time, not to go there.

I hated how he erased Bellamy from the story and then whitewashed every character who loved him in order to erase his importance. It didn't just affect Bellamy, who was unrecognizable. It also affected Echo, who no longer had a purpose in the narrative, and Octavia, whose very identity was built on Bellamy's love for her, and of course Clarke, who was the head to his heart, and without that heart, she just became.... well, literally crazy.

So disrespectful to the main character. But then that is what happens when someone erases the second protagonist.

...

This is why I don't talk about The 100 anymore. Because every time I do, it devolves into me ranting about how season 7 betrayed the story and characters and became some other kind of show in which the evil cultist is the hero and the rebels who are trying to make a better world are not worthy of heaven. Which is exactly the OPPOSITE of the first 6 years and instead, plays into trumpism and fascism and all the current political bullshit, and that's just too damn coincidental for me. JR sold out and it's all his fault. I will never watch that new show. He betrayed the story and his audience, and lost our trust. And that isn't about bellarke being denied, it's about story for me. Bellarke WAS a love story whether it was consummated or not. All those near misses means that was the story. But he didn't even give us the TRAGIC love story he could have, because he was a dick.

65 notes • Posted 2021-09-18 14:21:35 GMT

Y'all, I just wrote this thing about Alina from Shadow and Bone finding a happy ending by rejecting the power that threatened her life and happiness, and how it's okay for her goal to have been just Mal and a home and belonging, and it wasn't a bad ending because it wasn't about empowerment and her reaching for more power as the sun summoner, and then I saw a gifset of Danerys from Game of Thrones, and remembered how she was vilified and demonized for actually reaching for power as a leader and mother of dragons. And then I remembered poor Clarke Griffin from The 100 who was turned into an irrational shrew after years and years of standing up to tyrants and becoming a leader and Wanheda. And like.

Like is it any wonder that Alina didn't want to be queen or a saint or sun summoner?

What happens when women reach for power in this world, both irl and in fiction?

IDK. I'm sure there's more to say here, but that just struck me.

74 notes • Posted 2021-07-17 01:27:51 GMT

other side by gaits came up on spotify and it's like... 'I know I'll see you, see you on the other side' but she DIDNT. UGHHHHHH forever, I'm sorry if this breaks the no-negativity rules but anyway big hugs to all former Bellarke fam

I don't mind talking about the fact that the show stopped telling the story of Bellarke (romantic OR platonic) in season 7 and failed to follow through with the central relationship OR the two main characters of the previous six years.

I always wait to see what the story will be, that's why I try not to project on a show and complain about what I think is going to happen. That's why I like "stick to the text," right? Because I'm in it for the story being told.

But The 100 took most of the stories being told, about the delinquents trying to make a better world and be better, about Clarke learning to have faith and be a better person, about Bellamy and his leadership and love for his people, the head and the heart, about the redemption of humanity, AND about bellarke as an epic love story (again EITHER romantic or platonic-- both interpretations were trashed,) and just decided to tell a different story about Cadogan and his cult and obsession with some alien judgment day, and made him the one with all the agency in the story and made his cruel leadership into the one that was defined as correct, and forced all of freaking humanity to die and stop being or die and get sucked into a collective alien existence where humanity STILL stops.

I mean, yeah, the cult won. The grounders NEVER stopped being stupid tribalistic idiots (I was tired of that in season 4,) the emotional connections between the delinquents were ignored, Raven and Octavia scrambled to keep humanity from getting erased, but they all should have stopped Cadogan from starting that last battle. The whole concept of which was, frankly, stupid. HOW did we frame that as a GOOD ending? It makes no sense. Aliens move through the universe wiping out races and either erasing them completely or removing all self determination by swallowing their energies? How was Clarke the bad guy in this? The only one who wasn't worthy?

Sorry, Going off into a rant.

What I meant to say was I wait until the end to see how they tell their story, how they wrap things up. I don't judge until we get all the pieces and we can see what the creators were really trying to say. Most tv shows don't get to the ending, but usually if they do, and they've been crafting it the whole time, we get a wrap up that satisfies a lot of the loose threads but mainly, the main story, the main characters, and the main themes.

And this was like, "humanity trying to be better and do better?" nope. "Being responsible for your monster?" nope. "trying to create a better society?" nope. "the head and the heart?" nope. "Clarke as wanheda?" nope. "giving people a second chance?" nope. "Bellarke as an epic love story?" nope. And here's the thing about that. It could have been a tragic love story where they never got together, but they literally just ignored that story and pretended they had no special relationship and didn't care about each other. Actually they pretended NO ONE had a special relationship with Bellamy.

ANYWAY. (ranting again) They fucked up. They didn't wrap up their story. They didn't "meet on the other side." Everything having to do with Bellamy, Bellarke, or Clarke's development as a hero was ignored. Also anything to do with hope for humanity.

None of it mattered in the end. Grim dark. Humanity has no hope. They suck. Let's wipe them out. Instead:

SParkly PuRple ALieNs

80 notes • Posted 2021-07-12 14:42:55 GMT

Rosy that's fantastic news for your book!! I'm really happy for you. And just seeing "bellarke consum their love and even have grandkids" makes my heart full. Bob and Eliza said tthey were disappointed that 1/the charaters couldn't have kids in the end and that 2/ there was no hope. I totally agree with their interpretation of the end. Some people said the ending was super cool, and inkeeping with the whole show, and somehow hopeful. HOW WAS IT HOPEFUL?? the human race gets wiped out...

People said the ending was “super cool?” How?

Wait. I need to wrap my head around that. What are they looking at that seems super cool?

I actually don’t have a problem of the concept of transcendence that they worked on all season, nor Cadogan, the fake-spiritual, love-your-fellow-man-but-also-sacrifice-them-because-they-mean-nothing cult leader who favored his daughter, used his son, tossed his exwife into the apocalypse and killed Becca because she had power and knowledge beyond him.

Like, that could have been super cool if they’d kept him the villain, the antagonist, but instead they made him the protagonist who was, somehow, right about transcendence as if it wasn’t just another fucking doomsday cult that wanted humanity to end. I mean, it WAS just another fucking doomsday cult that wanted humanity to end, and the aliens vacuumed up humanity and allowed for no dissent. Here, have your perfect happy transcendence...but your body dies, the world ends, and humanity is gone. That is EXACTLY what ALIE did, and she was a villain. Perhaps a well meaning villain, but a terrifying villain.

How did the SAME story, get switched around to being some sort of victory for the state of humanity? How did the end of humanity, no chance to continue on, because they removed their ability to have children and carry on?

Why couldn’t they just fucking stay on The Ring if that was going to happen. At least they could have a small community up there. But no. Without the info that our heroes brought, they wouldn’t have reached transcendence.

That wasn’t transcendence. It was judgement day. Transcendence means you have worked your way to a higher state, and yes, it might be condescending and elitist, but you at least worked for it. And it wasn’t really a judgement day because they just took everybody, despite the fact that those idiots were fighting for no fucking reason. It was a PUNISHMENT day for Clarke, one of the only people who was actually TRYING to be better and do better.

What was cool? The way the aliens brought back the people they cared for? Yes, that was cool. It wasn’t them of course, but some people would be impressed by the alien dressed up in the costume of their fav. I could see that being considered super cool. But honestly... that’s a story line that would have worked better in season 3 and in fact DID work remarkably well in season 3 when Lxa showed up in the COL. And it was ACTUALLY her, not some facsimile.

Was it cool to take away the agency of the hero of the story who we’ve been following for 7 years? Was it cool to erase the personality and motivation of our dual protagonist? Ok. So lets say you didn’t love Clarke or Bellamy. Octavia’s character was erased and she didn’t have a thing to do until the final battle, and then she got a romance that frankly made me uncomfortable but that’s taste. Echo was erased and she didn’t have a thing to do until the final battle. Raven was also erase although she got to be the one to convince the aliens that they weren’t totally awful beings. That was cool, but it seemed like a patch put on top of a story that had failed. The story being about how Clarke saves humanity, and Bellamy saves Clarke, which has been THE STORY FOR SIX YEARS. We spent six years building up a team with these two heroes who have been through so much shit and made the CHOICE to be the good guys, and in the end, Bellamy gives his power over to a charismatic obsessive leader (also happened in season 3 with Pike who was a great character and FAR better than Cadogan and actual sympathetic awful villain who thought he was saving his people while doing evil.) And Clarke actually becomes THE BAD GUY, who loses her sense of reason and commits violence due to loving too much-- a really tired, misogynistic storyline. Give women power and they go crazy. The hysterical woman. THIS DOES NOT FIT WITH CLARKE GRIFFIN. Also, we saw her go through that trauma of fear for her daughter, and she DID NOT GO CRAZY. Ruthless, yes. And then she worked through what she had done and recognized she was wrong and promised not to do that again. I honestly don’t know why she did it again. Even if Bellamy betrayed her again, it didn’t make sense that she couldn’t work through it.

They had to keep the two characters apart in order have that ending happen. Why? Because Clarke acts as the center to Bellamy and Bellamy acts as the Center to Clarke. This season is the story of the FAILURE of the duo protagonists of the show. They separated them and broke them individually, and this meant they were unable to save the universe.

Is it cool to make a show about heroes and then destroy them in the last season? But frame that destruction and the end of humanity as a VICTORY and positive ending? Maybe if you hate those characters and humanity and think there’s no hope for us anyway, so lets just burn it down.

Oh wait. I’m trying to figure out what’s SUPER COOL about that ending.

The purple sparkly aliens. Ok. How is that cool? That there’s actually an omnipotent alien out there that has the ability to just snap a whole race of people out of existence or into their big ole stew pot of consciousness.

1. Why? 2. How? 3. Where did that power come from? 4. Who are they? 5. What do they get out of erasing races and basically eating them?

Okay, putting aside the questions about how these omnipotent gods aliens came to be... is it possible they can be see as “super cool?” Let me go through.

1. Omnipotent aliens going through the universe, deciding when life forms were “ready” to be judged and then either wiping them out totally, or wiping them out totally but accepting their consciousnesses into their massive consciousness where they don’t want any “bad” lifeforms, which makes them now a higher lifeform but not at all what they once were.

Cool/Not Cool. I dunno. Kind of seems like some sort of puritanical god who willy nilly decides if people are worthy of heaven. Will He, Nil He. That’s what that means. If we’re gonna get aliens at the last minute, I want aliens. I want to know who they are and what’s up with them. THAT’S the story. Those alien guys. Instead, the story was about the flotsam and jetsam at the end of humanity, either getting swept up into the god-form in the sky or being pounded to bits on the rocks. The heroes of our story have no say in what happens. They’re toast either way. Oh you mean we can be erased into nothing or erased into your hive mind? The only way this is cool is if you like nihilism. Which, yeah, some people do. NONE of their struggle over the past six years meant a damn thing. None of it. Their beliefs, their sacrifices, their mistakes, their heroism. It al reduces down to whether those sparkly purple aliens like them or not. That’s some bullshit.

Not cool.

2. Cadogan. Cult leader from the first apocalypse who conned the bulk of his followers and left them shady shelters that let them die. Kept the good stuff for his “best” followers. Paternalistic, obsessive, ruthless, megalomaniac framing his leadership and personality as “Love for Humanity,” while discarding every human who he deemed unworthy. Including his own family. Actually. Pretty cool. AS A VILLAIN. Ending up at his cult colony in space hundreds of years later with thousands of years of development in time dilation. Cool. They’re creepy but make some bit of sense. Ok. Waking him up and then making him this fucking GURU who preaches love for humanity but sacrifices 99.9% of humanity all so that he can reach his mythical transcendence which is really the eradication of all humanity.... well, that’s actually cool. AS A VILLAIN. But somehow in the last season, Cadogan turned out to be the one who was right all along, and the story seemed to accept HIS concept that transcendence was the best thing that could happen to them, because humanity sucks and they always fight so they should be erase by paternalistic omnipotent gods. CADOGAN’S choices were the ones that were enacted. Bellamy gave his will to Cadogan and made CADOGAN’S choices, not his own. Never before in all the seasons did Bellamy “need it all to make sense.” He fucking KNEW it made no sense and he didn’t want to make those choices any more. And he did it to be a better person and make better choices and keep his family safe. The excuse they used for our hero to side with Cadogan did not fit. CADOGAN became the protagonist in the second half of the season. CADOGAN made all the choices that furthered the story. Our heroes were reduced to either brainwashed followers or ineffective, hysterical messes, our really not wanting anything to do with anyone’s salvation and just interested in their love life. It left Raven, Echo and Octavia to scramble around in the end and try to convince the purple sparkly gods not to erase them out of existence, just erase them and swallow them. :/ Cadogan as protagonist bringing humanity to “transcendence.”, Our supposed heroes as useless flotsam and jetsam floating around on the wreck of humanity whose choices and actions make no goddamn difference.

NOT COOL.

3. Character Storylines

Clarke’s storyline. NOT COOL. Bellamy’s storyline. NOT COOL. Octavia’s storyline. S.A COOL. S.B NOT COOL. Raven’s storyline. COOL. Echo’s storyline. S.A COOL. S.B NOT COOL. Murphy’s storyline. SUPER COOL. Emori’s storyline. SUPER COOL. Indra’s storyline. COOL. Hope’s storyline. S.A COOL S.B NOT COOL. Jordan’s storyline. NOT COOL. Diyoza’s storyline. COOL Gabriel’s storyline. COOL. Madi’s storyline. NOT COOL The grounders. Fucking morons. You really shouldn’t make a whole culture’s choices based around being absolutely too stupid to be allowed to live. EVEN when you get past xenophobia and learn about who they are and why they do things. NOT COOL. The culty people. Cool set up and world building. The society was dumb and had too many plot holes. MIDDLING SHEIDHEDA. NOT COOL. pointless plot device just used to make everyone forget everything they learned from 6 seasons. CADOGAN. COOL AS A VILLAIN. But he was the protagonist. So the ruination of the entire show and universe they created. NOT COOL.

SEASON A COOL OVERALL. SEASON B NOT COOL. TOTAL SEASON NOT COOL

I think if people think the ending was supercool, they’ve never heard of a deus ex machina, and how that’s a BAD ending that is really just a cheat because you can’t figure out a way to get out of the story mess you made.

I really hate post apocalyptic fiction that ends with no hope for humanity. JR kept telling us there was hope. I mean narratively, not in interviews, although he did that too, and in the last half season, he switched it around so they wouldn’t have hope, not even just our heroes, but all humanity. It was a bait and switch I did not appreciate. And I’m not talking about ships, I’m talking about the essential genre of the show.

PS. thanks. I love my book and I hope someone picks it up so you all can read it. It also has elements of Han/Leia and another couple, Brashen/Althea from the Live Ship Traders book by Robin Hobb. They are, however, less traumatized than the characters in The 100.

109 notes • Posted 2021-03-16 17:44:29 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #wow look how little i posted #i used to post that much in a WEEK during the season #i've been worn out #plus you know the show's over #i don't get as many asks as i used to #maybe i was on too much before tbh #i'm still here though #mostly posting cats and writing stuff #should i post my paintings here? idk #i'm painting a lot

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bedlamsbard · 3 years

Text

1100 words written today, and Chapter 1 of the Loki thing went off to beta. I am still treating it essentially as concept writing, but I’m also having like...a time? with how fucked up my relationship to my fic and AO3 got? among other things? I didn’t expect to have a fannish existential crisis this month and I have enough emotional problems as it is right now, so I’m trying not to treat it the way I treat my SW concept writing and because it’s not my usual fandom with a built-in audience of the same thirty people or so it’ll go straight to AO3. I’m sort of messed up right now in general and it’s very not useful as I do in fact have things I need to do, but woof. I also clawed my lip open again, which is a nervous tic I thought I’d finally gotten rid of ten years ago but which came back with a vengeance this March when a school thing sent me into an anxiety spiral I haven’t really come out of. Just...oof.

Snippet from family reunion concept 2 (Loki series concept, off ep 1).

“Is my brother dead?” he repeated.

“You’ll find in the TVA that’s not the right question to ask. We exist outside of time, so he – and everyone else in the universe – is alive and not alive at the same time.”

“Enough riddles,” Thor said. “Is my brother alive?”

“Back in your timeline?” Mobius said. He shook his head. “No, because we reset that timeline after we brought you here. Now, if you want to know what happened after you used the Tesseract to escape from Thanos, then you’re going to be disappointed, because it doesn’t matter what happened before our teams got there. We’ve reset that timeline. Instead of you grabbing the Tesseract after the Hulk attacked Thanos and Loki dropped it – well, it might be easier for me to show you.”

He tapped a control on the device in front of him and Thor reluctantly turned his head towards the screen at the front of the room. He turned his gaze away a moment later; he didn’t need to have the further slaughter of his people rubbed into his face again. “My memory’s not that poor,” he said. “It wasn’t exactly that long ago.”

Not even an hour. Some of the blood on his hands was Loki’s, trying to keep hold of his brother before the Tesseract’s portal had snatched him from the Statesman and Thanos’s creatures had snatched Loki from him.

Mobius tapped his soda can on the table to get his attention. “Wrong memory,” he said. “Wrong timeline. This is the proper flow of time.”

#daily fic snippet #family reunion concept #I really cannot express how WEIRD it is to write in a new fandom for the first time in close to a decade #(the last semi-serious time was bsg back in 2012 or so though I have a bit of concept writing here and there from other things)

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meova101 · 2 years

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Writing tag!

Thanks for the tag @sebchalex ! It was a lot of fun to read your answers and to think about what my own would be, as well 🥰

I’ll admit this took me a while and I haven’t kept up on who already got tagged and did this... so I’m tagging @badboy-george, @scharletred and @whitewolfcraft and if any of y’all already did this just let me know and I’ll go stalk some blogs to read the answers sljsd

Answer these questions while being as honest as possible, you can skip a question if it’s really too hard for you to answer, then tag three people to answer this list as well! :)

Which of your fics you wish had more kudos/comments/bookmarks?

Honestly I’d wish for both of my really experimental fics to have more of those although I really have nothing to complain about, especially when it comes to comments on Barbie!fic (aka Found My Role In a Tragedy). I knew that one and Experiment!Charles (aka I’m Just A Parlor Trick, A Two-Bit Counterfeit) would be a shot in the dark to begin with but I worked really hard to make them make sense without too much exposition so yeah, more is always welcome sljsdg

Which of your fics do you feel is overrated?

Oh man I feel so bad because it’s also one of my better received fics but kind of You Can Devastate My Personal Space (I Never Liked It Anyway)? But I think it’s mainly just me working on that fic until it made absolutely no sense anymore and not really having anyone to beta yet at that time. It originally started out with sebchal playing truth or dare instead of just talking because I wrote it during NaNo last year and I needed to keep it going to Get Those Words. It sure kept the fic going, but I didn’t feel like it fit the characters in that specific situation, so I rewrote it and rewrote it again and tried to make it work without and I can still point out the bits where I couldn’t quite get the flow going like I wanted to.

What is the fic that took you the most time to write?

Definitely, absolutely, no fucking doubt about it, exchange!fic (aka Wish I Could Keep You In Amber). It’s the longest thing I’ve written in over a decade, I actually sort of planned out the plot for it instead of just going with the flow, I edited it until my fingers bled and those fucking graphics inside the fic almost killed me for real. They legit took me a full day all together, if not more. I am absolutely awful with graphic design so getting every newspaper headline right and somehow adding them to the fic in AO3 felt like Sisyphus with his boulder. Even the “breaking news” and texts took me longer than I’d like to admit, lol. Still very proud of how it turned out, though, it was pretty much exactly what I envisioned.

What do you think is the best fic you ever wrote (until today)?

Oh god. Look I honestly probably peaked with exchange!fic. All downhill from here slkjsg But I’m also still trying to top my very first sebchal fic (Strung Out Like Laundry on Every Line) because it just feels like that’s the only time I really got them down without overthinking it. In general, I’m also still very fond of the Hanahaki fic I did in Waterparks fandom (aka There’s Nothing In My System (So I’m Feeling What I Feel For You))

What do you think is the worst fic you ever wrote (until today)?

Oh boy, uh probably most of the things on my FF.net account skljsg I know they were very necessary as a sort of starting point, can’t get better if you don’t practice, but I read some of them again a while back and woof. Rough spot. Anyway I’m not looking up titles but pretty much everything kinky I did back there qualifies for this because I had no clue what I was writing about. Consent is sexy, y’all. Knowing what you’re consenting to is sexy as well.

What is the saddest thing that happened to you related to a fic (may it be success, a draft that erased itself and so on…)?

The graveyard of unfinished fics qualifies, I think slkjsg No but for real, I wrote this multi-chaptered fic when I was like... 15, I think? I was really proud of it and my fandom friends at the time liked it, encouraged me to finish it, make a sequel, I was on top of the world. Until I put it up on FF.net and it got absolutely flamed to shit. I still finished it, but that really sucked, ngl. In hindsight I sort of understand why but the dead dove: do not eat tag was not quite in use yet afaik xD

What is/are the comment(s) you received that you can never forget even now (negative and positive)?

The comments on the aforementioned fic have obviously left their mark sljdsg I always love getting comments that mention specific details as well, whether it’s a scene or a quote or just a detail in general, because it obviously resonated enough then for someone to want to tell me! And the incoherent comments are very much beloved too <3

A fic you’d dream to write even if you know it wouldn’t get much readers/feedback?

Not necessarily because it wouldn’t get much readers/feedback but I’d love to write a Vans Warped Tour sebchal!au because that festival just has so many interesting vibes and dynamics. I spent so much time in bandom and Warped was always a thankful setting for many canon-adjacent works. I’m just not very good at coming up with a plot and a different universe at the same time so hopefully one day inspiration strikes for both simultaneously

Coming back to the last question, did the fact that a fic wouldn’t get many readers (rare ship/different dynamic and so on) already stop you from writing it?

Not really? I write for myself first and foremost because I just like doing it, so it doesn’t really matter too much to me if it gets read in the end. Hell, I did a fic for Breathe Carolina and there’s still barely any fics or interest in that fandom slksjgl There’s also so many fics on my laptop now that I wrote just for me or to share with one other person.

Although I will admit, I do sometimes add in a little sex just to bump up the rating because I know E gets read more often than T or M, but we’ll keep that our little secret ;)

Which of your fics represent you the best?

Oh god this is such a hard one somehow? Honestly it’s probably exchange!fic because I just poured my heart and soul into that. I like adding humorous bits anywhere, I like writing about failboating and miscommunications, my brain works with visuals a lot when it comes to starting fics so it’s kinda nice to have that represented in a fic, too. I just tried to have fun with it and make the prompt(s) my own and idk I really felt like I got to put pretty much everything I like about writing in there.

What is your main source of ideas?

Song lyrics, most of the time! I will usually snag a lyric from said song to use as the title. Canon happenings as well, sometimes, and lots of shouting and headcanoning with @leqclerc too, these days <3

Is there an author that inspired you?

I mean no shade towards any fanfic authors because y’all are beloved and precious to me, but I’ll admit that most of my author inspirations are not from the fanfic-side 🙈 Terry Pratchett and Diane Duane have been big inspirations to me for most of my life tbh, and the way Marian Keyes does humor in her novels and personal stories is something I have been trying to emulate since I started writing. Maybe I should reread some of her work soon and see how far I’ve come...

Is there a fic you wish people to read, because it left a big impression on you?

This one isn’t even sebchal and I don’t give a rat’s ass but absolutely everyone should read it’s simple and it’s plain by mierla because it’s excellent, I have been watching the entire 2021 season through this lens since I read this fic and it showcases perfectly that you don’t need to have a ship in a fic to make it absolutely amazing. The idea is so fascinating too and so well thought out, even if it’s never described in detail, ugh this fic is everything.

What is your favourite topic to read? And to write?

I love me some good failboats in love in pretty much every genre and fandom skljsdg whether I read or write it, doesn’t matter, as long as someone’s being an idiot I’m happy. I also like a lot of kink (sorry mom!) and once again, if someone’s getting tied up I’m easily satisfied. In other fandoms I like high school/college!AUs as well but somehow in F1 that doesn’t quite scratch the itch.

What motivated you to make your works public?

This will sound hella pretentious skljdsg but I always kind of reason that if I like a certain idea or a certain fic I’ve written, there’ll probably be others who will like it as well so I might as well toss it out there? It’s always nice when it gets a good reception of course but even if it doesn’t I’d still make my finished fics public, to add my own two cents to the fandom and just in case anyone else likes those two cents.

A word you’d like to say to people who pass by / who follow you / who read your fics?

Thanks so much for checking out my stuff and enabling me to put sebchal in so many different situations! I appreciate everyone who’s ever checked out my Tumblr and/or fics, left kudos, comments or talked to me 🥰 I promise there’s way more on the way, even if things seem a little slow now, I’m working on so many things for NaNo that I will release into the void as soon as I can! <3

#tag game #fic stuff #I am legit not lying when I say this took me a full week of intermittently writing down answers #never meant for it to take this long but I'm fully blaming NaNo because I can #yes I added this to my word count because I might as well at this point #anyway this was really fun to do so thank you again sebchalex 🥰#meo shouting into the void #notf1

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kookingtae · 3 years

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Hello! How recent are we talking about? Like 2020 fics?

But for recent faves of mine:

You among others by @inkofyoongi

After Honeymoon Fades by @onherwings - relationship on the verge of falling apart

@btsarmy9593 short stories - inevitable, high school reunion

Vogue by @gukyi (this is so nice, about fashion industry)

Third Wheeling by @untaemedqueen (ceo x complicated relationship)

Moonlight by @suqakoo

The Early Shift (updated drabbles) & Moonlit Throne by @hobidreams

Fury of their Scales @kpopisthereasonihavenolife (dragon au)

Fractured @ot7always (mafia au)

The Dinner Party @lamourche (slice of life)

I Feel You in my Heart @purpletaecup (divorced, angst)

Greedy @xjoonchildx (mafia, part of a series)

Tricks of the Trade @stutterfly (body swap)

A brew of wings @inkedtae (daechwita, dragon au, fantasy)

Lineage @kosmosguk (completed, royalty au, yandere - not into yandere but written so well)

Hwasan @jeonggukkiepabo (yoongi the only dragon hybrid to exist, E2L)

Kale’in Me Softly @jimlingss (farm au)

Okay Bloomer @luxekook (rapper but florist myg)

Linings Silver @sketchguk (fashion designer. E2L)

There's a lot of daechwita aus last year lol. some are not pwp

Anonymous said: for yoongi fics i recomend a brew of wings by @ inkedtae, strike a cord by @ snackhobi, tricks of the trade by @ stutterfly, okay bloomer by @ luxekook, tangerine blossoms by @ moondustis and ps. i woof you by @ gimmesumsuga 🥰

u guys are the absolute best thank u so much <33 they dont need to be specific 2020 fics, i just haven’t really read anything new since like 2018 lmaooo and im desperate! and i think i may be on the verge of double biasing ksjdjs IDK ANYTHING ANYMORE but regardless these lists are beautiful and i will go through every single one of them thank u!!!

#ask #anon

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ziracona · 3 years

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Pretty sure your sudden spike in Fate content is gonna be like the third time I check something out bc you started posting it (I know next to nothing about Fate. In fact, I think I now know less than before you started). I'm rly not sure what the best starting point to get into it is, though. Any recommendation? (also I got Moriarty on your quiz and now I want to know why he's so beloved)

Oh sick! Awesome! I hope you enjoy it!

Uhm, so, Fate notoriously swaps out like their whole creative team from work to work, so some of it is really good, and some is really bad, and some in the middle, because it’s made by very different people. The things I am most into are UBW, and Fate Go. Fate Go is a little gatcha phone game, that suffers from the fate of the whole fate franchise but as a single unit. They swap out writers from arc and event to arc and event, so sometimes you’re living and thriving, and sometimes you’re like *thousand yard glazed, pained stare* ‘why the fuck did I download this game?’ Very mixed bag. I enjoy it because I just kinda blow through any arc I don’t like and skim, and then go hella into the good ones, but it’s very much an individual matter of taste one. It’s very fun to collect spirits and get to know them though, and some of the arcs are fantastic. Also, they have made/are making some of the Fate Go arcs into shows, and I expect the ones that are of good game arcs are good? But I haven’t actually checked any out myself yet--I really need to watch E Pluribus Unum, because it was an easy top 3 arc for me in the game.

I’m big into Fate, but I actually have approximate knowledge of many things? And have not consumed as much media as you’d think. I tend to hear people really like Fate Zero, and very mixed reviews of Apocrypha, but I would wholeheartedly recommend the Fandom Classic(tm) and my personal fave as where to start, which is Unlimited Blade Works.

Sorry this is so long. Okay, so. Originally, Fate Stay/Night was a visual novel with three paths/routes: Fate, Unlimited Blade Works, and Heaven’s Feel. All of these are shows now. Unlimited Blade Works was made twice. Do not watch the early one; it’s bad. Watch the 2014 TV series--it’s on Netflix right now. Don’t watch the English dub--the VAs are...not great. 110% recommend watching it in Japanese/original dub, with subtitles. (This one)

My usual pitch is that if you’re a normal person, you’ll probably go “This was a little confusing, but I really got into it: 8.3/10″, and if you’re like me and you never really gave up on wanting to become a superhero and save the world some day, you’ll go: “It was fantastic, 18/10, but it also ripped out my soul and left me wounded but somehow in an okay way.” Either way very worth watching. Since it’s not the first route, there are some things they don’t explain about the world because they kind of assume the viewer will know, but that’s pretty minimal--it’s def coherent enough that the more confusing bits are more of a “Uh, okay. I think.” than a “W-What the fuck is going on?”

It’s really good. Two seasons, the most beautiful fighting in almost anything I’ve ever seen, phenomenal soundtrack, and one of the best show opens (Season 2′s) of any show I ever saw. All around a just big blanket rec from me. It’s a long-time fan favorite for a reason. It’s one of my fave shows ever :’-] It was. Very personal to me.

Uhhhh what else--okay so, on Netflix if you watch it there, and a lot of streaming sites, they list “Episode 0″ or “Prologue” as the first episode? This was originally bonus content, not the first episode. It’s basically the first episode from not the MC’s point of view, but a different major character. It’s got some really great character moments and insight into Rin and Archer, and it’s fun, but since it was originally bonus, the pacing is super weird? So I would recommend you start with actual episode 1/Winter Days, A Fateful Night instead? Unless you just want to. Like it won’t mess up the show, but it might give you a weird idea of what the pacing is. So you can watch it first if you want, or later whenever you’re curious about those two, just like, if you start on it, don’t get overwhelmed by the stuff they’re not explaining, or the weird pacing. It’s supposed to be bonus content haha.

Very happy you’re interested! I really love UBW so I hope you enjoy it! If there’s anything else you want to ask feel totally free! I just don’t want to ramble for eight years about my special interest and fall into a black hole unprompted haha. : D Very happy you’ve been intrigued by my weird spike of fate content WAIT YOU ASKED ABOUT CRIME GRANDPA HOW COULD I FORGET.

Woof this is gonna be a long ask answer. Uhhhh, so Moriarty is from Fate Grand Order/Fate Go, the phone game. The game has three major arc sets so far: Grand Order, Epic of Remnant, and Cosmos in the Lostbelts. He’s from Epic of Remnant, and he’s universally beloved because he’s amazing. The MC in Fate Go is like 16, but he or she (you get to pick) is constantly having to risk their life and be hurt and traumatized and watch people die to save the world because there’s no one else to do it, and usually people are...not super nice to them. Moriarty shows up in the first of the second set of arcs and is like ‘Haha that’s a wholeass human child tho. Guys. Guys, a-are you sure about this?’ and he’s really there to pull of a massive evil culmination-of-my-life’s-entire-work-and-value scheme, but this kid is nice to him, and has nobody who looks out for them, and Evil Has Standards, so (Arc End Spoilers for that one ahead) he ends up giving up basically at the last minute. He had a plan that was totally working and could have won, but can’t really pull the trigger, because winning would mean this kid who has been nice to him and is already a massive pile of trauma and pressure and mental illness would die, and he cares more about them than his life’s goal. In Go usually boss fights are progressively harder, but his is super easy because he throws it, and chooses to lose, and basically throws away his life’s work for this one kid because nobody else is taking care of them, and lets himself get killed. This is a pattern with him. Other high points include later being 5 seconds into a scheme when Frankenstein (the girl one, who in fgo is like 14) stops him to call him Papa and asks for help, so he adopts her on the spot and just is her dad forever after that. He’s very goofy and I love him; he’s evil, but I’d trust him with my life, because he’s more good than he is evil, even though he’s both. Basically he’s just a very interesting and well written villain, but he’s also like, the /best/ dad in the game at the same time, and his dialogue is amazing. Evil Has Standards team dad poster man. He’s like the only adult in Fate Go who actually is responsible, which is fuckin wild. I’ll try to find some good screenshots of his dialogue. Anyway he’s incredible and I’m so happy you got him; Crime Papa is life.

Here have some Moriarty junk: (Shinjuku arc you have 3 partners, and the other two are adults but harass the MC constantly, and this was the dynamic. Bless Moriarty)

And here’s some him roasting Sherlock memes and being good dad to the MC

#ask #tathracyn #fate #long post

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the-l-spacer · 3 years

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Summary: Lloyd Allen is sick and alone at his house. This is unacceptable.

Written for Day 7 of Shaperaverse week, for the prompt ‘Family, Home’ - and is a continuation of the theatre kids au in chapter 1! I had a blast writing for this event. Thank you for reading!!

Lloyd Allen is sick. Like, sick sick. Not the sort where he gets a runny nose and maybe a hoarse throat that clears up in a day.

No, this is the everything-at-once, Chernobyl-nuclear-fucking-meltdown-anthropomorphised kind of sick. He’s hot (and not in the good way that, as Kelis once put it, brings all the boys to the yard). His throat feels like someone attempted to make him swallow hot control rods (to continue the Chernobyl metaphor). About every facial orifice is leaking steadily. Looking at himself in the mirror is an experience akin to staring at the Elephant’s Foot.

To put it sparingly, he feels like shit.

And, he laments, lying on his side on the living room couch, today is the absolute worst day to fall sick.

Through half open eyes, he gazes at the clock hung on the wall, — an old-fashioned thing circled with Roman numerals, because everything about his dad is old fashioned, a trait that passed from father to son — ticking steadily to 10am, when rehearsal is slated to start.

He briefly considers pushing himself off the couch, wrapping himself in a warm coat, and going anyways. After all, they’re just starting to rehearse Janissary in earnest, having almost memorized the scripts and choreography and blocking, and it physically pains him to be absent just when the real work is about to begin.

On the other hand, he can’t have the entire cast be bedridden because of him.

Mulling over his choices, he doesn’t remember when exactly he blacked out, only to be woken up again by the vibrating of his phone on the floor next to him.

Groaning, he reaches out his hand to answer it, and the very action feels like moving through slow, thick honey. He manages, but by the time he brings the phone to his face, the call ends.

The too-bright display tells him he missed a call from Asha.

A slight smile crosses his face. Of course she’d be the first to call him.

He dials back, and she picks up right away. “Lloyd?” Her voice is high and hurried. “Thank goodness you picked up. Me and the others are so worried. Are you all right?”

Try to sound like nothing’s wrong. “I’m fi-achOO!”

Well, so much for that.

“Oh Lloyd, you’re sick?”

“That- that much is obvious, Asha.” He forces the words out through a stuck throat, and is too busy cringing as sneeze-gunk runs down his face (gross) to regret his curt tone.

She sucks in a breath. “Sorry, sorry, god I’m such an asshole. Is it a fever?”

He wants to tell her that the asshole is him, that she shouldn’t waste her breath on someone as ungrateful as he, but all he manages is a short, “Yeah.”

“And from the sound of it, a sore throat and a stuffy nose as well. Do you have a glass of water somewhere nearby? Do you feel well enough to see the doctor?”

“No, and… no.”

“Lloyd- “

“Sorry.”

“- stop- stop hating yourself for one second. I was going to say I can come over right now, if you want me to.”

That’s enough to snap him awake. “NO!” He pauses, wiping his nose. “No. Continue rehearsing, take over for me. I want everyone’s lines fully memorized by next week.”

Now it’s Asha’s turn to be the naysayer of the conversation. He listens, with some grim satisfaction, as she splutters on the phone. “M-me? You want me to be- bu-“

“I’m sick, remember?” He coughs once, for emphasis. “You have to do what I say.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll do my best, and I’ll let the others know you can’t make it. In the meantime, you’re sure you’re okay?”

“Yyyyes?”

“And you’re sure you’re getting enough water? Did you take a panadol? I could get some soup delivered to you-“

The rest of the conversation passes in a blurry haze. He vaguely remembers telling Asha to very much not waste precious rehearsal time by ordering food for him, and was it a fever-induced hallucination, or did he tell David to take over as narrator? Did he comfort the fraught third year until he no longer could, Asha finally stepping in to tell him to rest?

Well that he can certainly do. As Asha says something about sleeping in a cold place, he is already drifting off on the couch. He watches the (decidedly not cold) living room’s ceiling fan turn lazy circles, he murmurs a half-conscious ‘I love you’ to Asha, and he finally surrenders to unconsciousness.

Knock knock.

Knock knock knock.

“Lloyd? Are you there?”

What….

Lloyd stirs, and immediately regrets doing so. His hair sticks to the nape of his neck, and a layer of awful post-nap sweat coats his skin. Yet, despite the warm, stuffy air, he’s shivering, curling into himself, trying to figure out if the knocks on the door are figments of his fevered imagination.

“I think he’s still asleep.” The voices he hears are muffled, but definitely there. Is that David?

“Nothing else for it, we gotta pick the lock. I can use my hairpin.”

“Jill, NO!” His ears pick up Asha’s shrill soprano.

Michael’s telltale drawl comes next. “Doesn’t Lloyd keep a key outside the house somewhere? Was it the doormat, or the flowerpot…”

Lloyd’s eyes drift closed once again, until…

“LLOYD!!!” Two blurs bound toward him, but are quickly yanked back.

“Don’t crowd him! He’s way too warm as is.”

Lloyd rasps, “Asha... ? And Jill and Michael a.. And David? What are you all doing here?”

He feels himself being lifted, bridal style, and pressed against a sturdy chest, can feel the vibrations as Michael speaks. “We’re here’ta take care of our favourite stage manager, of course!”

“But.. you.. Rehearsals?”

“Done and dusted,” David says, hovering behind Michael as he carries Lloyd into the bedroom, depositing him gently on his soft mattress. “It went… not terribly, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“Pfft, Davey here’s bein’ waaay too modest. As you predicted, he makes a pre-tty awesome narrator.”

David opens his mouth to protest, but Michael shushes him. “Go, set up the Switch so our boy Lloyd has somethin’ to entertain himself with once he’s feelin’ better.”

The obliging theatre techie in David wins out over his self-deprecating side, and he obediently trots off, leaving Michael in the room with a rather overwhelmed Lloyd.

“Don’t lie,” Lloyd begins, “was he really…”

“Yes.” Michael fishes out a thermometer from his backpack and takes Lloyd’s temperature. “Woof, 38 degrees. You’re burnin’ up. Aaanyways, David’s a little nervous, sure, I’ll let Asha fill you in on all the specific details, but he’s got potential. A loootta potential.”

Lloyd lets out a breath. “Good.”

“Now less talkin’, more tryna’ get better soon, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Lloyd gives a small nod.

The other boy pats his arm, and leaves Lloyd, giving room for Jill to breeze in, pushing cups of honey lemon and hot herbal tea and instructing him to drink, opening the windows to let the cool spring air in, and twining small flowers around his shelves and bedposts, before finally pulling his rolling study chair over to his bedside.

“Asha’s in overdrive,” she says conspiratorially, “been freaking out ever since the call. She tried to hide it, obviously, but we could tell. She’s, like, super worried about you, so real talk. Are you okay?”

The chamomile tea warms his throat as he drinks, and he finds his voice flowing freer than before. “I’m all right, really. Some irresponsible delinquent in my lit class came in with a flu, which no doubt passed on to me.”

“But you’ve never been sick before, at least, you haven’t been like the entire time we’ve known you!”

“When my immune system is down, it’s down, I suppose.”

Jill’s face pulls in a sympathetic pout. “Oof, that’s rough. Least it’s not anything serious. If it was something serious, you’d tell us, right?”

Lloyd must have paused too long, because Jill leans forward with sudden seriousness, necklaces adorned with tiny silver trinkets dangling in front of his face. “We care about you. I know Michael and I like to give you grief, but we really do. We’ve been friends for years now, and if something happened, it’d be like I lost my- my brother or something!”

His face heats. “Jill… I... of course. Of course I’d tell you. I care for you all greatly as well, even if I don’t show it.” His hand finds Jill’s. “Thank you, for saying that.”

She gives his hand a squeeze. “Just saying what we’re all thinking. I’m gonna go play Smash with Michael and David. You,” she stands up, tapping his shoulder lightly, “rest.”

“I will.”

She leaves Lloyd, a little confused at the interaction, though all that falls away when Asha enters the room, a bowl of hot ginseng chicken broth in hand.

“I’m sorry for being so curt on the phone, just now,” he blurts out.

Asha waves his apology off. “Water under the bridge. Eat up.”

Time passes, Lloyd savouring spoonfuls of soup as Asha sponges him with cold water, giving him a play-by-play of their rehearsal. The details remain hazy in his mind, though Lloyd does chuckle when his friend tells him of David forgetting he was so far downstage that he almost missed his cue and fell right off the raised platform, saved only when Michael yanked him backwards.

“That.. certainly explains why his shirt is hanging off of him a little looser than before.” Lloyd remarks.

Asha sweeps the finished bowl of soup from his grasp, replacing it with a glass of water and a Panadol. “Interesting that even with a fever, you notice how David’s shirt fits on him.”

It’s lucky that Lloyd only has the glass raised to his lips, else he would have done a spit-take. “Wh- what?!?? Who said anything about me staring at David’s shirt?! It’s just a- a casual observation, anyone would notice it!”

Asha grins. “Naturally, naturally.”

“What does that mean?!”

“Nothing!” She says breezily.

Lloyd stares at Asha, currently sending a text on her phone to someone. From the living room outside, he hears Jill snort.

Ordinarily, he would press, but as is, his information-overloaded brain begins to shut down once again.

“Sure,” he says finally.

Asha looks at him with surprise. “That it? You’re letting me off that easy?”

“ ‘m tired,” he simply says, sinking lower into his sheets. “I’ll ask again if I remember.”

Asha busies herself switching on the AC, drawing the curtains so they don’t let in the late afternoon sun. “Sleep, and properly this time, okay? We’ll be waiting outside for you once you wake up.”

“M’kay.” His eyes are already half-closed, watching Asha hover in the doorway.

“I love you, Lloyd.”

I really did say that on the phone, huh.

Nothing else for it, then. “Love you too.”

When Lloyd wakes, his senses come alive one at a time. He feels better than he did in the morning, the medicine doing its work so he’s no longer covered in a cold sweat. His nose is no longer stuffy, and the room’s cool air is permeated with the faint scent of chrysanthemum.

He sits up. It’s properly dark, now, and he can hear faint voices outside.

Gingerly, Lloyd pads out of his room, peeks around the entrance to the living room, and sees his friends, crammed together on the couch, whisper-screaming as Princess Peach beat the shit out of Link on the TV screen.

It’s hard to tell who it was who notices him standing in the shadows first, but it’s David who says, “Guys, Lloyd’s up!”, followed by a responding chorus of cheers from his friends.

His friends.

Is it his fever, or is the warmth he feels rushing through him as they make room on the couch coming from someplace else entirely?

Is him resting his head on David’s shoulder a result of fatigue, or… something else?

And is David tilting his head so it rests on his in turn coming from the same place too?

Later, they sit at the kitchen table, eating soupy noodles ordered in by Michael, and Lloyd wonders if it's the hunger from his previously light meals, or if the food, eaten as he sits surrounded by his friends, is the best he’s ever had?

Is it the thinking of his sickness-muddled mind, or is his house, filled with inane chatter and loud, boisterous laughter, so unlike the cold, quiet days spent with his father, more like a home to him than it ever was before?

And is it his imagination, or is this small group of theatre nerds truly his family? Family he never had, family that disappeared when his mother left?

Even after his father does return, frowning at the mess and noise, and his friends sheepishly clear the takeout boxes and unplug the switch and wash the dirty plates and cups, finally bidding him forlorn goodbyes and get-well-soons, the thoughts don’t go away.

Lloyd pops another pill and heads back to bed, sending a short ‘thank you’ in the main cast and crew group chat, switching off his phone as he sees the wall of responding texts and stickers flooding in.

He settles his sheets back around him, catches sight of evidence that the afternoon and evening truly happened - flowers adding a splash of colour to the space, a scribbled ‘gws’ post-it from David on his bedside table.

Lloyd Allen goes back to sleep with a small smile. After all, the sooner he gets better, the sooner he can return to the theatre. The sooner he can see his family. The sooner he can come home.

#new albion #shaperaverse #paul shapera #sorry i cranked this out at like 1 am and dont have the energy to edit it so #here take it #prompt week was kinda intense but like. fun! never wrote this much in such a short span of time b4 dlkjfas kinda proud tbh

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