#yearns to be heard by others. respected. loved. understood. but has that fear of reaching out..... SIGH. sigh sigh sigh... beatrice..... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

voidcat · 3 years

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— to yearn, and apricate

characters: albedo, you

wc & genre: 1.4k ops & modern au of sorts

a/n: hi hey hii so i've been pestering aqua (@pen-observing) with a genshin mafia au since forever n its like a plan of ours going on?? so it was gonna b one big thing with routes for various characters in the sense of romance, and maybe some 'extras' to follow... this was supposedly be an extra for albedo,, i got ahead of myself

Albedo is watching from afar, as he always does.

A man of logic and science, he watches with a keen eye at all times.

He observes, examines and when the time comes, he builds a hypothesis, only to test it out and follow a course of actions according to the results he receives.

Respected by many in Ordo Favonius, though more rumors and assumptions arise at any place he sets foot, Albedo is nothing if not careful and deducting.

Eyes fixated, he watches once again, turquoise eyes now trained on you.

To talk of or define your relationship with Albedo would be a rather tricky one.

Long past the “hello – hello” basis and few conversations here and there, be on foot or not, occur when needed. But that’s all there is to it: when needed.

Not that either of you seem to mind it; to some, it’s even a story of success that the blond doesn’t ignore or scoff at your presence before him.

And right now, Albedo is watching as you and Sucrose talk by the corner of the main hall. At one thing you say, she lets out a loud and cheery laugh, one not everyone gets to hear personally, (he would know, as he is one of the few lucky ones) and sees the way she looks at you.

Albedo wonders quite often what’s it like to feel.

He sees the way Kaeya and Sucrose look at you and wonders how they feel as they do so, how you must feel. Surely, you must’ve noticed the looks, as you return them in your own way too. Maybe, except for the times Sucrose longingly stares at you from the laboratory, as you converse with someone else on the other side of the room, unaware of the world going around you.

Albedo cannot help but wonder if there was ever a way he could possibly harbor those feelings his friends did, even just for a moment. Not necessarily on the same intensity, and definitely not necessarily toward you.

He thinks back to the night when Sucrose had too much to drink and talked about her university days; filled with joy, a hidden love somewhere and a grief that follows afterwards –as well as a hint of anger directed toward a third party, which piqued Albedo’s interest a little bit.

And though Albedo is bothered at how you appeared out of nowhere only to set your roots in deeper, your existence fits into the empty slots of the puzzle that was Sucrose’s, presented before him that night. The hicks, shaking hands, fists and the sudden change in her voice, hazy eyes staring at nowhere as if reliving a memory long gone. More spirited than ever; with such strong emotions carried in her chest and on her shoulders.

When it comes to Sucrose and you, the pieces fit into place. But for the rest, it only falls deeper in the light of day.

And it’s quite intriguing; how you first entered with a whim, only to display a sense of familiarity you shouldn’t be carrying, no, not when you’re new to all of these, to the people of Mond as of today, to Kaeya’s little side project Albedo prefers not to think about.

Your explanations to these only make way for more questions, even if you don’t mean so.

When Albedo observes Kaeya and you, he can see how his advances stand out more. Flirty banter back and forth, he never holds back his gaze. In his star kissed eye, Albedo can see hints and tints of some emotions, for you and only you.

It’s the way they look at you that makes Albedo grow more and more curious.

To Albedo, the phrase “love makes you blind” has never meant anything. He has seen and heard of people claiming to fall victim of it, that’s as far as his knowledge goes. Albedo has never experienced it himself, no. Yet in their eyes, he sees the truth to the saying.

Some days, when he thinks on it, he fears he will never have the bare necessities to experience it.

However Albedo knows better, as he doesn’t need to experience such emotions to see how blinding you can be.

And for this very exact reasoning, he doesn’t allow himself to be, for he’d be damned if his blindness, even for a blink of time, caused despair upon those dear to him.

And so Albedo keeps watching, not with a devotion like Sucrose’s or something more carnal like Kaeya’s.

He is on the watch, noting and analyzing even the tiniest speck of dust that shall land on your body. As a man of science and logic, it’s only expected of Albedo to be skeptical of things, and wary of you, the newest entry to the equation that surrounds him.

The state of research carries until all of his gathering shatters with a single presence that makes his way into the precinct.

It doesn’t take him long to connect the dots; though the way you’ve frozen up as Sucrose is running around in a frenzy, split on what to do, is more than telling that the balance has been meddled with.

Reaching out a hand on your shoulder, he meets your gaze with a nod and tilts his head toward the direction of his laboratory. Sucrose follows right after, trying to tidy up a bit and making place for you to sit. Turning the lock with a click, Albedo shuts the whole world outside. Yet he manages to catch a glimpse of the man entering.

Baizhu’s name has spread far and wide, known for all kinds of things, though Albedo knows about the shadier side of his business, –all thanks to Kaeya’s little secret project going.

Still, it begs the question how or why you’d be associated with a man such as him, and to end up badly on your end, clear from the way your brain and body reacted.

Just as Albedo assumed he has started finding the answers to his questions regarding you, you bring him a handful more, a new challenge.

He shrugs off the thought for the time being and makes way to you; who is still standing up, eyes fixated on the blurry green.

Placing a hand on your arm this time, he guides you to the spot Sucrose cleaned out already. Slow steps, one at a time, it’s hard to beat the rigidity of the body so quickly.

Sucrose’s concerned gaze heavy on you, yet your eyes seem blank, your expression says you’re out of it, out of this reality.

Helping you sit and leaving Sucrose to settle right beside you, Albedo walks back, closer to the door and leans against one of the counters, arms crossed. For the time being, for your sake, he’ll put aside the theories and the questions that are filling his brain.

By the time Baizhu has left, you’ve come back to your senses; although still acting rather cautious, you’re not disassociating.

Yet what captures Albedo’s attention the most is the look you give him.

Not like the ones you’ve offered Sucrose or Kaeya, or the irritating ginger who won’t stop sticking his nose into everything he sees.

This one you are offering outshines others in more ways than one. Even if it carries a hint of love, Albedo doubts he could recognize it, but he spots emotions of equal value, and gratitude.

For offering the laboratory as a sanctuary or for refraining from asking the questions about a time you’re trying your best to avoid and move one, he is not sure. Maybe it’s this mutual understanding and shared silence the two of you have held since the beginning.

Yet he can’t help but feel content all the same. And before he can notice, a smile creeps up to his face. Though it’s often loving gazes shared between others that catch his eye, only to make him yearn for such experiences and a chance to feel complete; the one you are carrying, for him, feels heavy on him, a feeling in his chest spreading.

Not sure what, exactly.

Even so, he doesn’t need a name to appreciate this rare opportunity, one not even Sucrose or Kaeya had seemed to live.

Albedo has never understood the phrase “Love makes you blind.”

Yet in that moment, he decides he wouldn’t mind going blind if it is your light that’ll caress his eyes.

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omg-imagine · 4 years

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⊱ Amor Vincit Omnia ⊰

Summary: It’s been five years since you last saw John Wick, a man you have loved and lost. One night, he shows up at your doorstep after being labeled excommunicado, and asks for your help. You knew the risks of getting involved but sometimes history can’t be easily forgotten.

Pairing: John Wick x Reader (f)

Words: 6k

Warnings: angst, alcohol, language, violence, slight NSFW, death

A/N: This is the longest one-shot I’ve ever written but I couldn’t help myself. I started this on a whim a few weeks ago, and I’m excited to finally share it with you all! Also, this is my first time writing for John Wick so please be gentle lol.

This is set during Parabellum but the timeline is a bit screwy here. Let’s just say, John couldn’t leave for Casablanca until the following morning and that’s why he goes to you. I hope you enjoy!

John Wick: excommunicado in effect 6:00 pm EST.

You stared at the message displayed on your phone in disbelief. “What the hell did you get yourself into, John?”

Turning off the screen, you stashed your cell back into your pocket. The rain outside grew heavier with each passing second, and you knew somewhere out there, John was running for his life.

Had it been for someone else, you would have easily taken up the $14 million open contract. Despite recent years, you were known to be as cunning and ruthless as the Baba Yaga himself.

Well, of course you were. John Wick was your mentor when the Russians forced you into this line of work. You used to be attached to the hip until you were able to carry out assignments by yourself.

However, during the time you had spent with John, you developed feelings for him but never said a word. For the longest time, you kept it a secret, and it was a secret you were willing to take to the grave.

But when John revealed that he wanted to get out, it gave you hope.

Could you and John have a future without any more bloodshed? Is it possible for two merciless assassins to have a normal life?

People like you didn’t deserve a happy ending, but you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t imagined what it would be like to have one.

But then he brought up Helen, and your world immediately came crashing down. John did whatever it took to have that normal life you’ve imagined— you’ve yearned— but shared it with Helen instead of you.

The day he completed his impossible task was the last time you saw each other. Sure, you’ve received his occasional letters and had even gotten his wedding invitation, but you decided not to give him the time of day.

The pain of heartbreak was unimaginable, almost unbearable. So, you coped the best way you could with work. If you weren’t fulfilling a contract, you were at home drinking as much booze as you can before passing out.

It was in no way how a person should live, but who was there to tell you no?

The sound of thunder brought you back to reality. You didn’t want to admit it, but even after all those years, you still loved John.

For what he’s been through, he deserved that happy ending you had always wanted to have.

You just wished that you were a part of it, too.

-x-

A half an hour later, a sudden pounding on your door interrupted your evening of self-pity. Ignoring it at first, you heard a familiar voice calling out your name. You were not expecting anyone, and no one else knew about this house.

Well, no one except for…

You approached the front door as the knocking became incessant. Behind the frosted glass, you could see the tall man’s figure standing outside.

Bending down, you reached for the .9mm hidden underneath a console in case of emergencies. Once you unlocked its safety, you then took a deep breath in and out before reaching for the doorknob.

The front door swung open, and immediately you held your handgun up. As John stepped out of the shadows, his face was illuminated by the porch lights.

You realized that this was the first time you’ve seen each other in over five years. You instantly knew why John chose to come to you despite being labeled excommunicado.

“You shouldn’t be here, John,” you warned as you aimed your gun directly at his head. One wrong move and you would kill him.

But could you?

“I—I need,” John couldn’t finish his sentence as a surge of pain overwhelmed him. “Damn it, I need your help.”

You noticed that he was bleeding profusely from his side, and he was barely able to keep himself up on his feet.

“Please…”

Your heart was torn. On one half, the cruel assassin in you wanted to end John’s life. You weren’t indebted to him, and he had caused you the greatest pain you could ever imagine.

If you killed John, you would be regarded as a legend for taking down the Boogeyman with one clean shot in the head. They would respect you, fear you just like they did for him.

This could be your revenge.

But the other half was the part who loved, the one who barely got to see the surface because you’ve spent most of your life keeping it down.

This part of your conscience reminded you of the love you had for John, even after he left for a chance at happiness.

It’s not his fault he fell for Helen and married her. You were too much of a coward to show how you truly felt. You lost your opportunity, and you’ve blamed yourself ever since.

You weighed your options. You knew what helping John would cost, and he knew what could happen to you if he overstays his welcome.

But you understood the severity of his situation at the moment, and it was your love for John slowly creeping itself back up again that caused you to sympathize with him.

You couldn’t let him die.

With a heavy sigh, you lowered your weapon and stepped out into the rain to help him inside. John has one arm slung behind your shoulders as you tried to balance him without aggravating his wound.

After setting him on the couch, you then told him to take off his shirt while you retrieved your first aid kit from the bathroom.

Returning to John who groaned in agony, you handed him an unopened bottle of Jack Daniel’s and quickly went to work.

The cut was deep but treatable. You twisted the cap of the hydrogen peroxide off and then looked up at John.

“This is going to sting,” you warned, and he gave you a short huff.

“I’ve gone through worse,” he replied, taking a swig of the whiskey into his mouth.

“We both have,” you agreed, not noticing how John kept his eyes on you until he spoke again.

“Helen died,” John said, and you paused.

He gestured for you to resume, and you continued. You cleaned up the cut and began preparing him for stitches. “I didn’t— John, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” he nodded. He recounted to you what has happened over the last several weeks, seemingly as a way to distract him from the sensation of you piercing a needle through his skin.

You listened to the pain he failed to mask in his voice. John’s happy ending was cut short, and the past he left behind came back to haunt him. You felt sorry for him, unsure of what to say.

But you knew he wasn’t asking for your pity. He was here because after Helen, you were the only one he had left to trust.

After stitching John’s wound closed and bandaging him up, you checked the time and saw that it was well-past six. You dropped the roll of gauze in your hand and took a step back.

The hunt had officially begun, and every assassin in the city was on the move.

Slowly, John stood up from the couch and placed a hand on your shoulder.

“You’ll be okay. No one followed me here, and I’m still sure no one knows about this place,” John assured as his touch brought you a little bit of comfort. You smiled sadly at him and handed him painkillers. “Hey, thank you.”

“Yeah, it’s no problem,” you responded with downcast eyes. “That’s what we used to do, right? Patch each other up after a job?”

“Just like old times,” John added almost nostalgically as you blinked the tears you didn’t know you had. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you swiftly denied. “It’s nothing. But what about you? What’s your plan?”

John only sighed. “Morocco. I’m going to find the Elder who can get me out of this mess. There’s a boat leaving at six in the morning, and I wanted to ask…”

“For a car?” You finished his sentence, and he nodded. “I’ll drive you. Until then, get some rest.”

“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “They might not know about me coming to you or this place, but I’m not waiting here until they find out.”

You watched as he staggered a couple of steps away, his fingers buttoning his shirt back on before reaching for his tie and blazer lying on the back of the couch.

He was in no condition to venture out while it’s storming outside, and he’s only one hit away from getting incapacitated. John needed to rest, even just for a few short hours.

As far as anyone else knew, this house didn’t exist. You had purchased this quaint little home of yours under an alias and kept it off the radar. It was well-secluded and far away from nosy neighbors and major roads. No one other than yourself and John has ever stepped foot inside.

“Listen to me,” you pleaded with him. “You came here for my help. So, let me do just that.”

You reached a hand up to rest on the side of his face. The scruff of his beard tickled the bare skin of your palm.

For the first time in five years, you were staring deep into his brown eyes. You saw the grief, the sadness, and the anger in them. You saw the man hurting from what was one tragedy after another.

Helen, Daisy, Marcus, his car, his house, his status, his freedom.

He’s lost everything and everyone.

Well, not everyone. John thought he had lost you the second he turned away, but despite your hatred for him leaving, you could never leave his side.

“Till the end, Jardani,” you spoke softly, using his birth name, which he hasn’t heard for the longest time. “I promised that I’d fight alongside you, and I’m not about to break that tonight.”

John silently leaned into your touch as you held him close, his left hand coming up to lay on top of your right.

Guilt began to set in when your eyes caught the glint of the silver wedding band on his finger, reminding you that he was a grieving widower.

You lowered the hand that was touching him and stepped back.

“You could have left, you know,” John added. “Do what I did. Settle down, live in the suburbs, enjoy the peace.”

You chuckled mirthlessly. “I would have, but after the great John Wick retired, there was no way in hell they were going to let me go, too.”

“You could have tried.”

Sighing, you then gave him a shrug. “Yeah, I could have. But at that point, I chose familiarity over a normal, picturesque life.”

“What about now? Would you change it?”

“I don’t think so,” you spoke honestly. “Violence has always been my normal. It’s all I’ve ever known. You can’t run away from this life.”

John looked at you with a sad gaze in his eyes. “Do you resent me for leaving?”

His voice cut like a knife, and you were afraid to glance up from the hardwood floors. The question came unexpectedly, and you were unsure of how to respond.

You felt him tilt your head up with his gentle hands, and you couldn’t stop the tears from falling.

“It’s complicated.”

“Enlighten me,” he replied. “I’ve heard you got tougher, angrier. You kill as if you were deceived and betrayed.”

You had no way out of this. You could lie, but he would instantly know even before you can finish your sentence. You could push him away and lock yourself in your room until morning, but you wanted to come clean.

How he would react, you couldn’t tell, and that’s what you’re scared of even if there was no point in being afraid now.

It was your chance to get some type of closure from John because after tomorrow, who knew whether or not you’d see each other again.

“Do you still love your wife?” You asked, taking John by surprise.

He studied you for a good moment or two, unable to read the expression you tried to hide. “Yes.”

“Then, you don’t need to know,” you said as you took another step back, creating more distance between you two. “You’re welcome to sleep in the guest bedroom. The bathroom has fresh towels in there already, and you can toss your clothes in the dryer if you want. We’ll leave at five. Goodnight.”

You didn’t wait to hear from him. You hurriedly went to your bedroom and shut the door closed behind you.

-x-

You tossed and turned in bed, hoping for sleep which never seemed to come easily at nights. Nightmares often plagued you, and you were afraid that if you did fall asleep now, you would see the frightening image of John dead.

It worried you that the most dangerous people in the world were all out to get him. He was fortunate that he had found shelter for the night, but at the cost of you getting involved.

A flash of lightning illuminated your dark and dismal room, followed by the roar of thunder. Sitting up in bed, you decided to head to the kitchen and get yourself a glass of water. Perhaps that would calm you down as the storm raged outside.

Padding softly to the cabinets, you grabbed a cup, and just when you were about to pour cold water from the dispenser, you turned around and reached for the bottle of bourbon on the counter.

The liquor burned as it went down your throat, but three glasses later, you still felt nothing.

Deciding against a fourth glass, you then noticed the light seeping from underneath the door to the guest bedroom. You weren’t surprised that John was still awake. If you were in his situation, you would be too weary to rest, knowing that at any time, someone could kill you.

Walking back to your bedroom, you paused just before passing John’s room. As you internally debated on checking up on him, you heard him call out for you from inside.

Without a second thought, you pushed the door open, revealing John who sat on the edge of the bed, clad only in his boxer shorts and a clean white tee he must have found in the closet that was luckily his size.

In his hands was a leather-bound book, only familiar to you and John.

“Can’t believe you still have this,” John stated as he flipped through the pages of the old book, which remained in a remarkable condition.

“Well, it’s the book we used when you taught me how to bind. I guess I kept it for sentimental reasons, like most things in this house,” you answered as you stepped further into the room.

John glanced at you and smiled.

“I miss seeing that,” you pointed out. “Your smile. It’s a rare thing to see coming from you.”

“You should have seen me at my wedding then,” he recalled fondly, though it unknowingly caused your heart to feel heavy.

You stayed quiet for a minute, and you were just about to go when John’s hand circled your wrist and pulled you to sit beside him. He rested his palm on your bare knee, and you saw that he had removed his ring for the evening.

“I’m sorry for not writing back. I had a lot of things going on at the time if you could imagine.”

“Like what?”

You placed a hand on top of John’s and squeezed. His eyes, though the length of hair slightly shielded them, bore into yours, softly pleading for you to let down your walls just like he did with you.

“John, I—” you tried, but the words wouldn’t come out.

It was the alcohol, you reasoned. You blamed the bourbon for clouding your judgment and allowing you to lose your self-control.

Because one second, you and John held each other’s gaze. Then the next, you turned your body slightly towards him and placed both of your hands on the sides of his face. His focus shifted down to your lips and then back up to your eyes.

You realized that you were wrong, and you were very much sober for this.

John didn’t move, nor did he speak. So, you took it as a sign to go ahead. The moment your lips connected, it was as if you’d forgotten the heartache from throughout the years.

The kiss turned heavier, more frantic, and neither one of you dared to stop. Your fingers gripped John’s hair, pulling him closer.

This— being with John— made you feel alive again.

John broke the kiss when your hand traveled south to the waistband of his boxers. “We can’t do this.”

But his face said otherwise. You’ve known him for years, and you could tell the want in his eyes. John needed this just as much as you did. You both burned with deep desire, desperate to experience pleasure rather than pain.

“Please,” you muttered through his skin, your lips trailing up and down his neck. “Tell me to stop, and I will.”

John didn’t say a word. He let your hands explore every inch of his skin as he kissed you fervently. A whine escaped your throat, and you managed to straddle his lap before grasping the edge of his shirt and removing it from his body.

His chest was littered with scars, both old and new. Without warning, John flipped you over and laid you on your back, pushing up the thin material of your top until it was gone, leaving you completely bare to him.

Fingers dipped inside your shorts, teasing you agonizingly as your body squirmed underneath him. It had been too long since another man has ever touched you, and John’s gentle caresses lit your skin up like fire.

You gasped for air when John softly bit the insides of your thighs. Your fingers tugged at his long hair, directing his head to where you needed it the most.

After pushing you over the edge with his hands and his tongue, not once but twice, John was ready to take you. You leaned up and kissed him, tasting yourself on his lips as he inches closer to your core. You felt his hardness press up against you, and you looked up to his eyes once again.

“Are you sure that this is what you want?”

He was a man of very few words. Conveying his answer with a single nod, you understood that he craved to feel something good, too. John then rested his forehead against yours, pushing himself into you slowly with such ease.

John was the perfect lover, and you committed to memory everything about the moment— the way he tasted, how he felt inside of you, and the beauty that was simply him. His body was much in tune with yours as he helped you reach your peak.

But when it was all over, you immediately felt the guilt from earlier. Despite the blissful look on yours and John’s faces, you wondered if you had done the right thing. You thought you had taken advantage of a grieving man.

“You’re overthinking,” John said out loud when he finally caught his breath.

You sighed deeply, watching him as he stared up at the ceiling. “This was a mistake.”

John then turned on his side, facing you. Reaching up, you brushed a few strands of his hair away from his eyes before placing your hand on his chest. He grasped it into his, bringing it up to his lips and kissing each knuckle with care. “Why would you say that?”

“I was selfish,” you admitted. “I slept with you not only because I wanted to feel something, but also because I’ve wanted this for a long time.”

He raised his brow in confusion as you continued. “I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, so I have to get this off my chest now.”

“What is it?”

“I loved you, John. God, I still do. It hurt me so much that you were in love with someone, but it wasn’t right for me to stand in between you and your happiness.”

John opened his mouth to speak, but you didn’t let him.

“I was angry at you. I wanted to hate you, and I thought I did. The truth is, I was angry at myself. I didn’t say anything to you for years, so how should you have known? And now that you’re back here with me...” you trailed off.

You shed a tear, but John wiped it away using the edge of his thumb. He’s seen you vulnerable before, but never like this. “(Y/N)...”

“I’m not expecting you to feel the same way. You loved Helen and got out of the life for her. You lived the dream, even if it wasn’t forever. I just regret missing my chance to tell you all those years ago.”

John’s arms wrapped around you, and he pulled you flushed against his body. He laid a kiss on your forehead as you buried your face into the crook of his neck.

“I did love you,” he admitted, his voice rumbling through his chest. “But with what we do, love would have been too dangerous. People could have used it against us, and I wanted to keep you safe. We would have been each other’s weakness.”

“You don’t have to lie, John,” you scoffed, pushing yourself away from his embrace. “Just tell me that you saw a future with Helen and not with me.”

Before you could get out of bed, John held you in place by holding you back by your wrist. “Is that what you want me to say?”

You bit your lip, refusing to see his face. “Of course not.”

“Good,” he uttered as he coaxed you back into bed. “Because that’s not true.”

“Then why? You loved me, but you didn’t do anything about it.”

John sat up and kissed your shoulder blade which calmed you down. “Neither did you.”

You sighed in defeat, absorbing everything that has been said.

“Our lives made it difficult for us to be together. It just wasn’t the right time for us.”

You slowly moved your head slightly to the left, and you were met with his unwavering eyes. “When would the right time be?”

John released a sigh. “I don’t know.”

As your mind tried to wrap around his explanation, you laid back down on the mattress with John returning to your side. He held you in arms as you listened to the steady beating of his heart.

“I don’t regret what we have done,” he remarked. “I wanted this just as much as you did, okay?”

“Okay,” you whispered as your eyes grew heavy.

John could sense your exhaustion. “I’ll be here when you wake up, I promise.”

You trusted him, and eventually, you drifted off to sleep. Later on, you dreamed of John saying goodbye. You didn’t know why or for how long, and you didn’t want to let go.

But something in your heart told you that everything would be fine, and when he did leave, you strangely felt at peace.

Perhaps this was the closure you needed.

You didn’t know what to make of your dream, and you were afraid of what it could mean. You didn’t want to lose John again, but sooner or later, it would happen.

But for tonight, you were his, and that was enough.

-x-

When you and John woke up entangled in bed the following morning, neither of you said a word. Instead, both of your lips found each other yet again. Somehow, this kiss felt different than the ones you shared last night. It was still as passionate as before, but it seemed to have a different meaning behind it.

Why does it feel like a goodbye?

You pulled away before things could go any further. You didn’t want John to miss his boat, and the two of you needed to get ready for what might happen today.

After one last kiss, you got out of bed and picked up your discarded sleepwear from the cold ground. Meanwhile, John reached over the nightstand and grabbed his ring.

You watched as he held it in his palm for a second before closing his fist around it. John glanced up at you and gave you a forlorn look. You then flashed him a sad smile before retreating to your room to shower.

When you returned to the living room, John was already dressed in his dark suit. Sauntering over to him, you then handed him a revolver to use as protection for wherever he was heading.

“This belonged to you,” you had said. “I’m also giving you guns from my stash that you can take.”

“Thanks.”

His hand came up to accept the revolver, and suddenly, your heart clenched. John’s wedding ring was back on his finger where it belonged.

The ride to the port took almost 45 minutes. At nearly every light, John took note of the cars in front and behind you. So far, nothing stood out, and the coast was clear. You continued to drive just a little bit above the speed limit as you too surveyed your surroundings.

“Turn down here,” you followed John’s direction, and from a distance, you could see the water. “Park by that building, and I’ll walk the rest of the way.”

And that would be it. John would be gone, and you would return to your sense of normality. The road taking you behind the harbor soon ended, and you found yourself putting the car on park before shutting off the engine.

He only had fifteen minutes until he needed to get on, and for some reason, you were grateful that he hasn’t gotten out of the vehicle yet.

“I could go with you,” you suggested as your eyes scanned his features. “I could help.”

“You need to run,” John countered, much to your disappointment. “I am grateful for your help, but the High Table will make an example out of you if they find out what you did.”

“I told you, I’m as good as dead already,” you brushed his warning off.

You knew damn well what the consequences were. There was no way you were safe staying in New York or any other place for that matter. You would have to live on with a constant target on your back, and that was one thing you didn’t want.

“I’d rather die beside you than alone. Please, John. Let me help.”

The silence after was deafening until the sound of gunfire erupted, and the glass windows of your car shattered.

An ambush.

John quickly reached over to the back seat and opened the gun case, pulling out the assault rifle you had packed for him. Meanwhile, you got your gun locked and loaded, glancing up at John and waiting for his cue.

“On three,” John spoke, and after three, you two pushed the car doors open and headed towards a large shipping container for cover.

You couldn’t see the assailants, but bullets hailed as you made your way over to safety. Something grazed the side of your arm, but John just pushed you along until you were able to shield yourselves.

“I’m good,” you assured John as he tried to count how many men were trailing behind. You saw the expression on his face, and it wasn’t good. “We’re screwed, aren’t we?”

“You could say that,” he answered, his mind trying to devise a plan. John only had ten minutes left until the ship leaves, with or without him.

“John,” you whispered his name with so much love and tenderness, it worried him. “It’s over.”

“No, not for us,” John trembled.

“Not for us,” you repeated his words before correcting them. “Not for you.”

John was confused by your statement. “What do you mean?”

You smiled sadly. You love John too much, and you were willing to do anything for him.

Even if it meant losing your life.

“You and I both know how much I hate this life. How much I hate the monster they made me turn out to be. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life running away because I helped you escape. I’ll buy you time while you get on that ship.”

“(Y/N), I’m not letting you do this,” his hand came to grasp you by your wrist, hoping that you would rethink this deadly idea of yours. “It won’t end well.”

“When does it ever?” You retorted as another bullet flew past. “Death is inevitable. You and I both know that. I want to die knowing that I protected you. Even after everything, you’re still the most important person to me.”

“Don’t,” he pleaded. “We can figure a way to get out of this alive.”

“There’s not much time,” you told him. “You have to live on. Live on for Helen, your love.”

You didn’t want to waste another second, and as John seemed to accept your fateful decision, you had run behind another shipping container, all the while shooting at least four men dead.

The distraction worked, and it gave John the chance to climb up a nearby ladder and escape.

At least six others were waiting for you to make a move. As you reload your weapon, you heard a heavy set of footsteps making its way around the container. You pulled out your knife from your boot, but before you could attack, a shot was fired.

The man sneaking up on you from behind was instantly killed, his body dropping onto the ground with a thud. You then looked up from where the bullet came from and saw John covering you from above.

“Get up here, (Y/N),” he shouted as he fired at another person. “I’m not leaving you behind. Not again.”

John did the best he could, killing those who he had a clear shot of while you sprinted towards another ladder.

As you climbed up, you were hit from behind, but the bulletproof vest you had underneath your clothes saved you. It hurt like hell, and you held onto the ladder with a tight grip before John appeared to pull you the rest of the way up.

Staying low, you and John swiftly navigated through the port and found the boat set to leave for Morocco in less than a minute.

“Jardani,” a man with a thick accented greeted as you approached the ramp leading to the ship’s entrance. “I didn’t know you would bring company.”

“She’s coming with me,” John informed him as you waited for the shooters to show up.

The man shook his head and chuckled lowly. “No can do, Mr. Wick. The Director has arranged a safe passage to Casablanca for you only. Either you board alone, or I go. If you decide to shoot me, let’s just say there will be consequences when you arrive in Morocco.”

The captain eyed you sternly before returning to the vessel. The ship’s blow horn sounded, yet John’s footing remained still.

You turned to him, hearing shouting and running nearby. “They’re coming, John. I can hold them up for a bit, but you have to go. Don’t make this any harder than it has to be.”

“I’m not going to leave you,” he said, and you noticed him clutching tightly onto your hand. “I can’t lose you, too.”

You shut your eyes for a moment and leaned up to him, pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. John tilted his head down and kissed the top of your head, breathing in your scent for what could be the last time.

“I love you, John. Everything’s going to be okay.”

And with that, you darted down the wooden docks and ran into the hitmen. From the corner of your eye, you saw the ship beginning to move forward, and you breathed out a sigh in relief.

“I knew you would help him out. You two were oddly close,” One of them sneered, pointing a gun at you. You recognized him— he was a regular at the Continental. “I’ll make you an offer. Didn’t you hear the bounty was increased? $15 million! I’ll split the money if you help me.”

You pulled your gun out and aimed it at his head. You weren’t intimidated by the other armed assassins around you, ready to kill.

“So, tell me, sweetheart. Where is John Wick headed to?”

“He’ll be back,” you replied with a smirk. “And Baba Yaga will come after you when he does.”

“I had a feeling you wouldn’t give him up that easily,” the hitman snickered, wholly unimpressed by your answer. “It’s unfortunate that John won’t be around to see this.”

The trigger was pulled, and the gun fired. The bullet pierced your body, and for a split second, you felt a searing pain in your abdomen. You fell to the ground in an instant, surrounded by a pool of your blood as the world became darker and colder.

Your eyes eventually fluttered shut, and the last thing you thought of was John.

In an instant, the warm memories flooded you. All the pain disappeared and was replaced with something much more beautiful.

You didn’t get a happy ending, but you found the next closest thing there is.

Peace.

-x-

A single gunshot echoed from the harbor, and John knew very well what it meant. Defeatedly, he slid down to the floor, his back resting against the wall of the ship as the New York skyline slowly grew farther and farther away.

He knew how much you would risk to help him from the moment he knocked on your door. Regretfully, John shouldn’t have dragged you into this. You didn’t deserve to die.

Not for him.

You paid the ultimate price because you loved him, even after all those years. You had thought you hated him for abandoning you, for not reciprocating the feelings you had for him, and for living the life you wanted to share with him.

But despite the hatred you wanted to have towards him, you continued to love John.

And you couldn’t bear to see him die.

John held the revolver you had given him before you left that morning. It was a colt python, and he recognized it as the very same one he gifted to you on the first birthday you spent with him.

I guess I kept it for sentimental reasons, like most things in this house...

You had only fired the gun once, and it was during a situation where it saved his life. He could never forget the moment he realized that he could depend on you with his life, which was a rarity in this world.

There was something etched onto the grip that caught his attention. He recognized the Latin inscription as one of your favorite sayings.

Amor Vincit Omnia

“Love conquers all,” John translated, and it was true.

You believed in it, so it had to be true.

His mind then drifted off to the previous night. You were right— you two were hurt and craved to feel anything other than pain.

And it was only after did he realized the suffering you had gone through. The light in your eyes had sizzled out, and you had become the shell of the person he once knew. You had spent all these years hoping that somehow he would love you back.

And he did. He meant what he said that night.

John loved you. You were the only part of his past that he couldn’t let go. But he also loved Helen.

He wished circumstances were different, but they just couldn’t be.

Because if there’s one thing John believed in, it would be that people can’t change the past.

No matter how hard anyone tried.

The least John could do now was to make sure that your death was not in vain. You told him to keep fighting to live on the memory of his love, and he made a vow to honor your final request.

He would live on for Helen.

But most importantly, for you.

#john wick x reader #john wick imagine #john wick fanfic #john wick x you #john wick oneshot #john wick #reader insert #my fics

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tae-cup · 4 years

Text

Cupid’s Blind Eye | Of Eternity and Euphoria (3)

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

Summary: A demigod looking for love meets the god of love himself.

Warnings: N/A. This might be the fluffiest one so far. wait I lied it’s not fluffy at all. It’s really angsty. I’m sorry.

Word Count: 5.4k words

A/N: I have a lot of ideas for this series. So much so, I’m ignoring my other series. Like Hamartia and The Pact which I was s u p p o s e d to start by now. Smh this is what happens when I have too many ideas. I’m planning a spin off series for a Male!reader for this...I also wanted to tie this more into the overarching plot, but it’s okay, I’ll get you more park jimin okay. Consider me your supplier.

AS:ASJFLKWJQ:W it deleted my first draft >:(

Other:

Series Masterlist

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Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; and therefore is winged cupid painted blind - William Shakespeare

Your knees hurt already. It had been all of 15 minutes, but the gravel under your legs wasn’t exactly comfortable. You had spent the last hour praying for the god of love to show himself and you fell to your knees desperately in the last 15.

“Oh, god of love.” You drawled sarcastically, ready to leave the dilapidated altar. “Answer my prayers.” You practically rolled your eyes, sick of this nonsense.

You stood slowly, realizing he probably wasn’t going to show himself any time soon. You swiped the gravel off your knees, not noticing the presence behind you.

“You should know not to be so disrespectful to your gods, darling.” A sly voice called. You froze. No way. When you turned to look, a man leaned against the pillars of the altar. He radiated lust and love, an inhuman aura. There was no doubt this was the god of love, lust, and passion.

And unlike him, you radiated a sort of pure aura; compared to him, of course. It drove him mad.

“Oh.” You were at a loss for words. His build was literally of the gods and his face, oh his face. You couldn’t find a single flaw in his face. From his adorable nose to his plump lips. You found yourself staring at his features for way longer than necessary. He smirked. This was a typical response to his appearance.

“Why do you seek me out?” He stepped forward, peering into your eyes.

“I want to know my soulmate.” You clenched your fists. Everyone you knew already found theirs. Your friend, Jennie, had explained that the god of love had helped her, but you didn’t believe her. You thought she was pulling your leg. The god quirked his head to the side.

“Why do you need to know that?”

“Because I’m sick of being alone.” You admitted, mouth feeling awfully dry as you nervously shifted from foot to foot.

His gaze softened, heart thumping.

“You won’t be alone forever.”

“It feels like it sometimes.”

“You’re a demigod.” It suddenly clicked. Your blatant disrespect of the gods, the odd aura surrounding you. Almost godly, but not quite. Not many demigods had a good connection to the gods. They were often cast aside, looked over, thought of as wannabes when many just wanted to live their lives. His altar wasn’t any different than the other crumbled ones around, the only indicator was the Greek letters above, but only a demigod would be able to read that.

“And you’re a god. I’ve come to learn that it doesn’t matter who you are, we all die in the end.” You frowned, thinking of your godly parent, one that had faded a long time ago, sentenced to eternal darkness for the atrocity of giving birth to you. However, being a demigod came with its perks. As long as you stayed healthy, you had longer lifespans while staying youthful. You had stopped aging around 25, but now you were around 60. You would likely begin aging around 100 and then die around 200. You had lived a long life so far without finding love. At first you thought it was possible, but as the years went on, no one gave you that spark, that burning sensation, that claimed them as your soulmate.

“Listen.” You sighed, “I just want to know if they exist. I’ve spent years searching and I thought fate was supposed to bring us together. Are they to be born in another timeline? Shall we never meet?”

The god of love frowned at your lack of faith in him as a god. He stepped forward, close enough for you to make out his face in detail. He radiated love, lust, and passion. His eyes were intense, but you didn’t find yourself scared. In fact, it was almost comforting. He was the definition of love.

“Do you have so little faith in me? Fate has brought you here.” He gently reached out and touched your shoulder. He just needed to check. It was silly to think that the god of love, could not seem to find his lover. There. That spark, that burn. It spread like a wildfire, consuming your everything. It felt like your atoms had rearranged, yearning to be completed by him.

You couldn’t do anything except stare at him. There was no way you were fated to one of the gods whom you so dearly despised. The gods had abandoned you as a child. Was this some cruel punishment? He softened his expression, taking in your frustrated form. Scared, worried, and anxious were reactions he expected from his soulmate, but anger was not one.

“I don’t have to be with you, you know?” You said bitterly. “I can choose to stay away. Not all soulmates stay together.”

Your words clearly had an effect on him because he nodded and stepped away. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion and hurt flashed across his face.

“I won’t force you to join me, but please reach out if you change your mind. You know where to find me.” He gestured to the altar. He, out of everyone, knew that you could put two perfect people next to each other in a room, but you couldn’t force them to love each other. Love was a tricky thing and Jimin knew it best. “Just ask for Jimin.”

Then he was gone, the wind seemingly taking him away. You rushed forward, looking for that sneaky god, but you couldn’t locate him. You had to admit you felt bad about reacting that way. He didn’t expect this either. With a sigh, you called out to the stones. “I’m Y/N. Lovely to meet you, Jimin.”

And of course he heard you. His eyes trailed your back as you ran back into your small town. It was one of the last towns who truly believed in the gods, that’s why so many had altars up. A smile made his way onto his face. Now it was just wait and see.

“Oh come on. You are way too boring, Jimin.” The fiance (I’m sorry I don’t have accents on this computer >:( ) of Yoongi rolled her eyes.

“___, You must understand, love just doesn’t work like that, You have to let it happen.”

“I bet she wants you to chase after her.” ___ continued. “Here, invite her to the wedding. She can be your plus one!”

“You’re too kind. I fear she may be afraid of the underworld.”

“Didn’t you say she’s a demigod?” Yoongi’s fiance quirked her head to the side. She was a human before a goddess. She had no bias against demigods and Jimin felt she was the best to approach about his encounter.

“Yes.”

“Then I doubt she’ll even bat an eye at the underworld.” She viewed her nails, thanking the workers and standing from the salon. “You came all the way to the human world just so you could whine about your love life to the goddess of the underworld. Seems right.”

Jimin scoffed, crossing his arms defensively. He was at a loss for words, however, and he bit his lip. “I came to you because she seems more human than god and I wanted to know your experience.”

“Well, Yoongi basically kidnapped me, but not really. I just knew I wanted to go with him. Then he and I hit it off from there. I fought with Taehyung, stirred up some shit, and now I’m going to be the downfall of Olympus.”

The other gods didn’t like her joking about the downfall of Olympus, but Jimin could always laugh.

“At least my nails will look good while it happens, yeah?”

The love god laughed along with her and the two walked over to the park. The park, known as Plyosum Park, was a great hotspot of godly energy. It was the quickest and easiest way to get to Olympus.

“Now, I must be going.” She smiled, “But, have you ever thought, Jimin, that she’s no more human than she is god? Maybe she just wants to be treated as the person she is; a demigod. That’s why I don’t think I can help you much. I wish you luck, however.” She sent a small wave to him before ghostly hands reached up and dragged her under.

Jimin sighed. She had a point. He’ll just treat you like any person. He let his wings grow out as he prepared to travel back to Olympus. They were a feathery white with golden flakes scattered in between. Many called him cupid for this, but he preferred the name Eros.

You opened the letter with caution. It had appeared on your desk when you arrived home and it definitely hadn’t been there before. The handwriting looked familiar, though you couldn’t place your finger on it.

Dear Y/N,

I am writing to you today because the god and goddess of the underworld are getting married. They have requested I bring along someone and of course my first thoughts were of you. It would be lovely if you are able to join me, but it’s quite alright if you don’t feel comfortable. Please consider my offer, but I will not hold it against you if you choose not to come.

Best,

Jimin

You had to chuckled at his formal phrasing, but you couldn’t blame him. He wanted to give you space and you respected him for being so cautious to your boundaries. It wasn’t expected of the god. After all, he was a god. He could have just kidnapped you on the spot. Maybe he just understands love doesn’t work like that. That made more sense. You carefully wrote back.

My dearest Jimin,

I would be honored to attend such a momentous occasion. Sadly, I seem to be at a lack of formal wear suitable for this kind of event, what do you suggest?

Best,

Y/N

Of course you had to shoot back with your own formal tone. You hoped he understood the sarcasm in it as you hiked to the only place you knew he visited. His altar was old, crumbling, very un-beautiful for the most beautiful god you knew. Then you remembered that you would be meeting many beautiful gods and goddesses in a short time.

You placed the far messier letter down at his altar and hurried back to the village. Jimin was waiting, hoping to catch you, but you were gone before he could even speak. He bent down and slowly picked up the letter. He hastily tore it open, smiling fondly at your words. It was a shame he didn’t get to see you properly before you rushed off.

It was in your nature, as a demigod, to be skiddish around most things; though you seemed to have more of a fight in you than other demigods. The issue was that demigods didn’t fit in anywhere. The gods despised them and regarded them as abominations, hybrids, wannabes. The humans weren’t much better, fearing anything they considered other. Demigods would rarely be able to rest without being hunted by one group or another.

Jimin looked to the middle distance, thinking about what outfit would best suit you. He wanted you to fit in with the other gods and goddesses. While he was a great believer in “love is love” other gods may try to bring you down simply because you were a demigod. It made him feel ill to think of what terrible things could come your way because of your mother’s mistake, not that you were a mistake. He mentally scolded himself. He was constantly on the fritz of checking himself and making sure he said the right things.

He shook his head, returning to his place in the clouds.

When there was a knock at your door, you jumped in surprise. It was not often that the village people visited you. You lived a lonely existence, but you decided this was fine.

“For: Y/N.” You read carefully, surveying the package on your doorstep. You glanced around, eyes flicking to the house next door and traveling down the empty road. Hurriedly, you grabbed the package and hauled it inside your house, slamming the door shut.

The box was more of a rectangle. It was long and flat and there was no return address. You had a feeling you knew who had delivered it. You walked to the kitchen and grabbed a pair of scissors. Then you approached the package, unsure of how to open it. If this was what you thought it was, you didn’t want to damage it. You gnawed at your lip, brows furrowed in concentration as you painstakingly cut through the thin strips of tape. This is ridiculous, just rip it open. You couldn’t bring yourself to do that, however. You didn’t want to rip the contents. So you continued your work before the box flaps finally undid themselves.

Your breath caught in your throat as you looked at the dress. It was a light pink, an innocent color. You rushed to your room to try it on. Of course it fit perfectly. It had a tight bodice, hugging the upper half of your body in a flattering way. Then the rest of the material flowed from the bodice. Layers of tulle and silk fluttered to the ground. In the box also came a delicate silver crown, headband, thing. The silver was twisted into delicate branches that curved every which way, forming a sort of bramble. It looked so elegant and graceful. The accessories that came with the dress included silver earrings and bracelets. The most important was a necklace. It was an graceful, thin, silver chain, but at the bottom it was weighed down by a light pink gemstone. It seemed to glow, like a beating heart. You didn’t expect anything less from the god of love. You were stunning.

You couldn’t wait to wear it to the wedding in a few days. Jimin would surely be impressed. You found yourself blushing girlishly at the thought of impressing him. You wanted him to want you. To see his eyes light up when you entered a room. To kiss him. You gently placed your fingers on your lips, thinking of his plush ones on yours. You knew he would oblige you if you asked, but you had only met the once and the soulmate bond was inexplicably strong already. You were worried it would consume you if you let it. Would you still be standing if it did?

Days go by and now you stand at his altar. It’s desolate, looking lonelier than ever before. You shift nervously, having done your makeup to reflect the lightness you were sure he wanted to portray. You knew he was trying to get the other gods to like you and you were still wary of meeting them. However, you promised yourself that you would try, even if the other immortals didn’t. You didn’t want to pace, having already painstakingly made sure your dress wasn’t muddied on the way up. Where is he?

You were beginning to worry. Little did you know, Jimin was freaking out. He was pacing and getting far too worked up for a god.

“Hyung! What if-what if she gets scared and doesn’t want to see me again?” He whined to the sky god. He strutted up and down the hallway that led to his altar. He knew you were there, he could feel it, he just couldn’t bring himself to step through.

“Jiminie, she’s a demigod, she’ll be okay.” Jin squeezed his younger friend’s shoulder. Jimin had trusted Jin enough to tell him about you. He thought of telling Namjoon, longing for the elder’s advice more than anything, but there was something sneaky about that god that held him off.

“What if she doesn’t like me?”

“Why would she show up if she wasn’t interested?”

Jimin ran a hand through his hair and Jin could tell he was about to complain more so he stepped in.

“Hey, you’ll be okay.” He said softly, pushing the god of love towards the door. Who knew that such a suave man was so...scared of love? “If you’re worried about jumping off the deep end and drowning,” Jin had heard that falling for your soulmate often felt that way. “Then it’ll be okay. You’ll learn how to breathe underwater.”

The elder god then took the, now quiet, god by the shoulders and steered him down the hallway. The god of love took one heavy step after another. “Go, you’ll be late otherwise and that won’t do any good to lighten the other gods’ positions on her.” Jin said, almost scolding. The younger god just kept his mouth shut, nodding way too easily to his friend.

“Wait, Hyung-”

“Go.”

Then he was shoved through the doorway.

He stumbled straight into you, hands reflexively reaching out to stable you. You gasped in surprise, heat rising to your cheeks.

“Jimin! I thought you weren’t coming.” You said in a huff. The god stood there sheepishly, scratching his head.

“Right, I’m so sorry, I was...” Honesty is the best in any relationship. “...I was nervous.”

You tilted your head to the side. Usually it was the other way around with all the assholes you’d dated in the past. They were always entitled, never asking you about anything.

“Oh, I see.” You said awkwardly. “Well, it’s getting late.” You drifted off. Then you noticed him staring at you. Your cheeks flushed pink again at his gaze. It was intense, searching, as it took in your outfit. You heard him let out a soft breath.

“You look...ravishing.” He breathed, finally putting into words how he felt. But nothing could describe how you looked. You looked like a goddess. Perfection, beauty, grace, intelligence, all in one. He swallowed, trying to keep himself in check. He held out his hand, “Well?”

You hesitated, looking at his soft hands. Hands that had never worked a day in their lives. You cautiously place your hands in his and he pulled you close.

“Let’s go.” He murmured. How he managed to make two words sound so enticing was lost on you.

“Pleasure to meet you, Ms...?” The goddess in front of you purred, holding out her hand. She somehow made it seem condescending. You and Jimin had been glued to the hip since you arrived, but he had briefly left to get drinks, leaving you to fend for yourself. Every god and goddess in the room was intrigued by you. You just kept thinking back to how extravagant the ceremony had been, but you had been more taken with how gracious the bride was. She was so bright compared to the god of the underworld, but somehow they got along.

“Y/N.” You smiled, your lips pressed together. You looked, and in someways were, like a goddess, but everyone knew there was something different. Your impostor syndrome was driving you mad.

“Right.” The feline-like goddess strolled away. You turned, trying to ignore the headache you had, only to bump into another god. He looked startled, jumping back quickly. He had an airy quality of innocence and bright light around him. He was handsome, devilishly so.

“Oh! I’m so sorry.” You exclaimed genuinely, looking at the god with confusion. He had this air of familiarity about him that you couldn’t quite place.

“No, no, it was my fault. I wasn’t watching where I was going.” He said shyly. Then an arm wrapped around your waist, a drink being handed to you softly. The man before you got visibly more pale at the sight of the god holding you. He didn’t seem scared, just sad, maybe even heartbroken. “Oh, I see.” He nodded quietly, mood doing a whole 180.

Jimin grimaced as he watched the other man retreat. He felt his heart strings tug, but pushed the pained feeling away. You could sense the tension so you carefully unwrapped yourself, taking his hands.

“Let’s dance.” You said softly. You weren’t sure what just happened, but it didn’t feel like your place to pry. As you place your hands on his shoulders and he planted his firmly on your waist, he let out a sigh.

“I know you’re curious, you can’t hide things from me.” He glanced around as you both blended into the crowd of other couples slow dancing. “That was Agape.”

You nodded slowly. That’s why you felt so familiar. Anyone who was close to Eros understood Agape well.

“Is that was he goes by?” You knew Agape to be the innocent love, the first love, and Eros to be a more sexual love, one filled with desire. You also knew that Jimin didn’t go by Eros, he went by Jimin. People often got him mixed up with Agape, claiming him as cupid, but Agape usually handled first love scenarios.

“No.” He said quietly, as if losing his will to speak. “He... he goes by-” He suddenly cut himself off. “Actually, he doesn’t like it when people refer to him by his real name. Just know that I like you now. You don’t need to worry about him.”

You frowned, eyebrows knitting together. “I never thought he would take you away from me? I was just interested.”

“Ah, yeah, there’s been...tension.” He didn’t give you any more explanation so you sought to change the topic.

“Tell me about the other gods.”

He seemed glad to change subjects. Instead, he told you about Seokjin, the friendly sky god who knew of your predicament. Then he went on about his Taehyungie, Kookie, and then his hyungs. You smiled warmly at all his fond remarks, discussing them as if they were his blood relatives. It humanized them, though you weren’t sure if that was intentional on his part. You had just warmed up to the idea of meeting these gods when someone screamed.

It wasn’t a happy scream. It was a blood curdling, ear piercing, shriek. A goddess ran from the entryway, clearly alarmed. You jumped and Jimin’s hold on you tightened.

You could see Taehyung pull his lover closer and Yoongi pushed his wife behind him. Other gods were taking defensive stances, eyeing the goddess warily. She was obviously a low level god, her aura faint and you were sure she was to die out soon. Seokjin carefully approached her like a wounded animal. Being the oldest, he had this responsibility; to meet all threats to his circle with full force.

“Ah, Ms. Lee, what troubles you today?”

The entire room stilled, watching Ms. Lee carefully. Seokjin spoke calmly, but there was a fierceness to his voice, a demanding power.

“We’re under attack up above. They’ll be here any minute!” She was inconsolable. You gripped Jimin’s arm and he held you impossibly closer. And attack? By who? The enemies of the gods were long gone and any god who tried to cause trouble was sure to be eliminated quickly. All the gods seemed troubled except a certain war god.

“Great! Then we’ll go to war!” He shouted, anger in his voice. Being the war god, you were sure it was his natural voice. Jimin started radiating a more dominating aura. You realized then that he had hidden most of it as to not freak you out. Now he glowed a luminescent light pink. You knew he was quite literally a lover, not a fighter.

“Now, now, how do we know this isn’t just a set up?” Yoongi narrowed his eyes, clearly not wishing to discuss war on his wedding night.

“Well either way we’d still be under attack.” The girl beside Taehyung breathed. She had a point, you couldn’t deny that. Jungkook’s eyes met briefly with Taehyung’s lover and you could almost see the spark of tension despite being a little ways away. Taehyung put himself between the two subtly. You had a feeling there was a story there.

“Jimin?” Your voice was a whisper as to not break the very thin surface tension of the room. He squeezed your hand in response to tell you he was listening. “Are we in danger?” Your heart beat rapidly. You knew you were the most human here. You were strong, but you wouldn’t last a second against a god. Okay, scratch that, you might last two seconds, being a demigod, but you were still severely disadvantaged. You didn’t want to a) be a burden and b) be killed.

“I’ll keep you safe, love.” He murmured quietly, leaning down and pressing a kiss on the top of your head. You felt your body heat up, wishing those lips to be on yours. You just nodded along, not trusting yourself to say anything else. Then there was a bang outside and the sound of the guards running. You turned to him. eyes wide.

Taehyung was already pushing his lover and Yoongi’s wife together, having another god usher them somewhere safe. You paused, wanting to join them. You even saw Yoongi’s wife turn and look at you expectantly. All the gods and goddesses who valued their lives were running. There was another bang and it was chaos. Those who had been frozen in place were now running and those who wished to fight were materializing their weapons. Jimin looked between you and the door, clearly debating. You gently pushed him towards his friends, knowing he wouldn’t want to leave his brothers.

Then you pressed a quick kiss on his cheek. He flushed red.

“Maybe you’ll get a kiss on the lips if you come back unscathed.” You joked, winking playfully as if he wasn’t about to go out and face...whatever was behind that entryway door. He didn’t respond, just nodding firmly. You rushed to join the other two women who were considered V.I.P.s because of their status and relationships to the inner circle. As you were ushered out of the room, you heard the door burst open and you prayed Jimin was safe.

You shivered, the dress not doing any good to keep you warm. The women beside you had hardly spoken a word to you except one, who was the bride herself. She had introduced herself to you and then gone quiet. Obviously, she was worried for her new husband. The other woman was shaking like a leaf. You were surprised the relationship between her and Taehyung worked, but you knew love worked in mysterious ways. The bride offered you a small smile, pulling off her pristine white cardigan and handing it to you. You thanked her lowly before resuming your staring contest with the wall.

It was a nice room, a library somewhere even more underground than the underworld. The goddess of the Earth was obviously more wary of you than the one of the underworld. Though, from what Jimin had briefed you on, she had once been a human too. You were all worried sick for your loved ones, of course. No one could think of much else. The constant shouting was driving you over the edge. You just wanted some peace and quiet.

Having always been introverted, you didn’t enjoy crowds for long periods of time. Keeping to yourself and staying out of the way was the best. As much as you disliked the gods, you and the women in the room were sharing a bond. A bond of fear. You were quite the opposite from Jimin in that way. He was a very social person, always going out of his way to talk to people, his words always smooth and graceful. You, on the other hand, were just...there. You stumbled over your words, rambled, and had trouble concealing your emotions as well as him.

There was a knock on the door. You all looked at each other, eyes wide and waiting for the password to be spoken. There was none. It’s not them. You mouthed. The door flew open before you had time to react. You counted your seconds. Two seconds against a god. You had two seconds.

You were just confused, however, when you were met with a familiar face.

“Mom?”

The long forgotten goddess didn’t even flinch at the anger in your expression, nor the tears that betrayed your pain. It was all too much. She had changed so much. Once the goddess of wisdom, the original goddess long before Namjoon, she held herself with grace. But her frame all bones, no fat, her face was gaunt, and she looked liked she had just walked out of a halloween store. Your breath caught in your throat as she grasped your arm, hard enough to cause a whimper of pain. The other women were forced to follow along as well.

She escorted you out to the ballroom. You felt yourself go pale, stomach dropping to the floor as you surveyed the room. Blood, everywhere. You couldn’t tell whose was whose. Gods are gods, but they bleed. And when they die, they must wait to be reborn once more. You felt your heart clench, seeing the inner circle on their knees. They looked defeated. Seokjin was comforting a sobbing girl, only to have her ripped away and whisked somewhere else. This made the elder god snarl, but he stopped almost immediately after looking at their captors. And who wouldn’t?

They were ghastly creatures, looking like demons out of a novel of pain and horror. Some of them had melted skin, others had hollow faces and haunting stares. All brandished with various “K”s on their bodies. You noticed your mother had one on the side of her neck. The gods were arguing with someone, but you couldn’t make out everything, the argument in full on Greek. Then there was a loud cough. Your mother threw forth the other two girls first. You watched Taehyung and Yoongi’s eyes go wide, before going back, completely feral, to arguing. Then your mother pulled you in close.

“Y/N.” She said coldly, despite her seemingly motherly embrace. “You have disappointed me greatly, I pray Kronos spares you.” Her lips were a thin line as she threw you to the ground too. You tripped over the debris and landed on your hands and knees. You looked up, meeting the eyes of Jimin.

You saw a quiet fury. You knew Jimin was diplomatic, he wouldn’t yell, but you could feel his anger from across the room. He mouthed ‘I love you’. And you frowned a little. This was not where you wanted to be confessed to. You wanted him to say to you, alone, and secluded. You selfishly wanted that. Now the enemy had stolen your first I Love Yous as well.

“Put her with the others.” You understood that part. The masked leader gestured to an underling who unceremoniously dragged you over to the other women. You huddled together as they shoved you into a cage with the crying girl from earlier. Yoongi’s wife wasn’t crying, but she did seem to be in a state of shock. Taehyung’s lover was crying, trying to conceal her sniffles. You gently shrugged off the cardigan from earlier, handing it to her. She took it quickly, hiding her face. You even heard the smallest thank you. Underlings surrounded you like specimen, watching you like you were zoo animals.

“Yoongi!” The bride called out, panicked. You felt it too. There was something bad coming. Then the cage moved and you felt nauseated from the sudden movement. You panicked fully for the first time. Where were they taking you?

“Jimin!” You screeched, hand stretching out. His eyes widened farther.

“Y/N!” He called back, fighting the restraints and lunging towards the cage.

Taehyung’s girlfriend sobbed loudly and Taehyung looked over, concern evident as he struggled to reach out, mental focus just on getting to his lover.

“I love you!” You cried. “Please look for us, don’t give up on us.” Came out your broken plea.

“I’ll search the ends of the universe just to see your face, Y/N.” You heard him say. The underlings restrained him and you sat back, feeling defeated already. The others knew you weren’t a goddess and they immediately babied you, knowing your body to be far more fragile from theirs. Tae’s girlfriend shot you small smiles of encouragement and you did so in return. Yoongi’s wife rubbed your back and the third mystery woman remained silent as you were driven to gods know where.

Last minute A/N: OKAY OKAY I admit it, I didn’t give this...a great happy ending. BUT BUT BUT I promise you a happy ending in the future-

#bts #tatawrites #of eternity and euphoria #bts x reader #jimin #park jimin #jimin x reader #fluff #god!BTS #God!Jimin #Demigod!reader #love #proof reading is dead to me #I'll just fix it later if I have the guts to reread my work

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inviouswriting · 4 years

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In small moments between the clamor of cheers and those who enjoyed the Grand Melee. There is a moment that Lucia caught Aymeric staring after Kiya.

She sees that there is no mistaking the look in his eyes. It was the look of love and adoration for Kiya. She smiles to herself, she knew of his feelings since they first met, and when he met Kiya. Their relationship was a work and friendship based one. Even when she had voiced her own a long while back, he was kind in the way he turned her down.

She just knew, and seeing him shine bright this way. Kiya held more than she realized, but she catches the way even the miqo'te looks at Aymeric. How they danced around their feelings.

Aymeric was a solace for Kiya where she had no one, and Kiya was his after he lost so much himself.

Lucia approaches Aymeric and stands near him enough to draw a turn of his head.

"Lord Commander, you wear your love for her in your eyes."

"Is it that obvious? He feels sheepish that others see it so plainly.

"Aye it is. Does she know yet?” Aymeric looks away and Lucia guesses she does not know yet.

“You should tell her.”

“Aye, when the time is right. I do not think the middle of the Dragonsong War is the appropriate time for such feelings to be laid out.” Aymeric has his own fears in the form of if he tells Kiya his feelings just yet, she could end up snatched away by cruel fates, and he be left broken hearted.

“Understood, but speaking from a woman’s heart. I can tell she holds the same feelings. She too wears her emotions in her eyes.” Aymeric looks at Lucia then over to Kiya. Kiya meets his stare and holds it till she looks away sheepish for holding his gaze. When Kiya looks away Aymeric’s smile increases.

“We should set about the preparations for Falcon’s Nest.” Aymeric changes the subject, Lucia nods and starts ahead of him as they all walk back to Ishgard.

Kiya lingers near the Aetheryte Crystal, her eyes gazing up at it almost lost in thought. She had just spoken to Alphinaud about their options in meeting back at Falcon’s Nest. She was left alone with her thoughts, and feels another pair of eyes on her. She turns her head to see Aymeric approaching her.

“Kiya? I thought you would be at Falcon’s Nest already.” Kiya shakes her head out of her thoughts hearing his words.

“I’ll be there soon. I was just enjoying a moment of kind silence.” She earns a smile out of him.

“Is that so? Well, would not be good for you to be late. We both have some time... would you indulge me in something? Just brief?” Aymeric requests, Kiya quirks an eyebrow wondering if it is another task to do.

“Nothing serious, just follow me for a moment?” Aymeric reaches a hand out to her, and Kiya takes it while keeping a questioning look in her eyes. Aymeric once he has her hand, he guides her to a little spot near the edge of the Aetheryte Crystal, a broken archway. He has her stand close to the edge the light was about right with the sun about to rise.

Kiya keeps her gaze on him for the moment, but when the sun started to crest the horizon, she is greeted to a beautiful sight in how the orange and pink hues dance over the mist below. She is in awe over how pretty Ishgard really is. She is smiling wide, and when she turns her gaze back to Aymeric, she sees he is watching her face with a reverent smile of his own.

“Is this what you wanted to show me?” Aymeric nods to her question.

“There is that, and one more thing.” He thought about what everyone has been saying to him. To tell her his feelings, he reaches a hand for hers and she gives it to him. He feels her skin is icy, and notes she tends to wear less layers. He brings her hand up to his mouth and holds it in both of his hands to blow hot air on it.

Kiya feels a jolt in her spine, and turns away sheepish at such gentleness out of someone who towers over her and can be intimidating if he wanted to be.

“Pray, Kiya. You should wear warmer clothes. Would not do for you to get sick from the elements. Anyway, my other reasoning for bringing you over here. I have something I wish to tell you.” Aymeric starts and keeps her hand in his.

Kiya feels her heart thudding in her chest, she isn’t sure if she is blushing from cold or the tenderness she sees in his eyes. She also feels something else, terrified of what this could bring.

Aymeric could feel her tense from his touch and contemplates backing out of this and approaching her a different time. Her eyes betray her demeanor. They're bright, full of fire, and mayhap hope like his own hold for her.

"I have.... hope that we will save our friend." Aymeric curses himself internally as his words leave him. He turns his head wondering why he can't bring himself to say it.

"Oh... I do too." Kiya starts to take her hand back but he holds onto it tighter.

"Ah, before I forget!" Kiya stares at him, like she did in his office when he called her attention before she went to help the preparations. She can see the wry grin.

"Yes?" Kiya begins to wonder if her heart is getting away from her. Maybe he did not feel the same.

"This." Aymeric leans forward and presses a kiss to the top of her forehead. Kiya's eyes widen in shock that he did that. She glances up at him and he only smiles at her.

"Forgive mine forwardness. I can't find the right words I wish to say to you yet. Perhaps when this is all over. I can tell you honestly how I feel about you." Aymeric says while holding her stare. She nods then motions for him to meet her down.

He does and she returns his gentle gesture with a kiss on his cheek.

"I can't find the right words myself." She smiles up at him, and knows their time has come to an end. Aymeric keeps her hand in his until she finally pulls away.

They both look at each other with a yearning in their eyes and one they feel in their hearts.

"I need to go help with my friends then I shall be out there at Falcon's Nest." Kiya says and Aymeric nods.

"I look forward to seeing you in the crowd, My friend." After one more shared smile Kiya turns and runs off to The Forgotten Knigjt to meet up with Alphinaud and the others before they wander out to the location.

Aymeric watches her as she runs off. His own nerves on fire. He wants to forget all manners of what is normal and chase her and confess his feelings in a hushed and flustered uncomposed mess. His pride to look descent in public eye prevents him from doing so.

The next time he sees her is from the platform. Vidofnir listening to his speech, as he spoke his eyes focused on Kiya's face when he said a familiar phrase. "Some wounds cannot be healed." He sees how Kiya shakes in a jolt at her memories. But also sees how she is composed and smiles at him. She had made her peace.

Kiya also makes up her mind of her feelings in that moment with his words as her conviction. She loves him.

After the attack and he had called Alphinaud and Kiya into his office. He gave his conditions to ask Hraesvelgr for aid, how he needed their escort to the great wyrm.

The travel was made at post haste, Kiya seemed happy to have him along. They even made minor jokes or spoke of happier times.

Kiya fell behind as they traveled through Mourn. Aymeric understood now how the Dravanians too had a graveyard for their own. He was respectful walking through the cavern.

Once he and Alphinaud reached the peak and into the Churning Mists, it was just at the beginning of sunset. He walked till he was satisfied with the distance. He never beheld such a sight like this before.

Lost in his own world he doesn't hear the soft padding of feet next to him. Kiya stands next to him and smiles at such a look of bewilderment on Aymeric's face.

"Beautiful isn't it?" His attention drawn to her, he sees how the orange washes over Kiya casting a unique glow to her. Kiya accidentally brushes her hand to his and jolts it back.

"I'm sorry." His hand chases hers and he grasps it in his own.

"It is beautiful, and your touch is welcomed in mine." They both turn to look at each other. He tells her of how he had only heard tales of the place and seeing it is a whole other feeling itself.

Alphinaud stands back a ways, he can see something blooming right before his eyes. He was witnessing a love and relationship come to life before his eyes.

"Ser Aymeric? Do you think... when there are some peaceful times... we could... maybe.." Kiya feels the rest of her words caught in her throat.

"Date?" Aymeric tilts her head up to look at him. His fingers resting just under her chin to hold her there.

"Yes.. I mean... if our feelings are mutual." She feels a sudden regret but the way his eyes soften and how he lowers his head down to hers to press his forehead against hers.

"I would love that. In fact that was what I wanted to ask you back in Ishgard. Would you allow me to court you?" Kiya's eyes brighten and they both smile warm.

"I would love that. Ser -"

"Aymeric. Please call me Aymeric." He doesn't want his title attached when she addresses him now.

"Aymeric. I would love that." They hear a light cough and Alphinaud draws both of their attention. Kiya and Aymeric quickly separate with a flustered blush matching.

"Sorry to interrupt you two. But shall we get going to Zenith?" He earns both of them nodding. Kiya takes Aymeric's hand in her own and they lock their ring fingers together in a promise to talk later.

They must first take care of Nidhogg and hopefully save Estinien.

#aymeric #aymeric de borel #ser aymeric #kiya shinikami #aymeric x kiya #invi's ffxiv writing #ffxiv aymeric #estinien #alphinaud #ffxiv alphinaud #alphinaud leveilleur #actual relationship development i rewrote a scene in here for my collections to make it fit better

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watusichris · 5 years

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Thank you for “Days”

I’m starting to gear up for the Wild Honey Orchestra’s Feb. 23 benefit, which will feature a complete performance of “The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society.” One of the songs originally earmarked for that album but left off the final release was the beautiful “Days.” Here, excavated from my Facebook notes for your pleasure, is something I wrote about the tune in 2010. **********

Of late, I’ve been gravitating to the Kinks’ 1968 song “Days.” I can think of few songs of the rock era that are finer or more moving. It’s always been a favorite, but it acquired fresh resonances as I listened to it again recently. A little background: Ray Davies, the Kinks’ principal songwriter and lead vocalist, penned “Days” sometime during a burst of activity in 1966-68. The number was recorded in May 1968; it was a tumultuous session even by the quarrelsome band’s highly combative standards, and climaxed with an argument that helped precipitate original bassist Pete Quaife’s exit from the group in 1969. The song was originally intended for inclusion on the quartet’s 1968 album “The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society.” However, Davies’ ongoing indecision about the contents of the album, and his label Pye’s unwillingness to market it as a two-LP set to accommodate his large backlog of songs, led to the number’s excision from the record’s final track listing and its release as a modestly popular British 45 in June 1968. (Finally issued in November 1968, “Village Green” was a critical success in America and ill-received in England; it flopped commercially everywhere. It is today perhaps the Kinks’ most cherished work.) On these shores, “Days” was first intended for an odds-and-sods compilation, “Four More Respected Gentlemen,” which was ultimately scotched by the group’s U.S. label Reprise. The song would finally get an American release on the cobbled-together two-LP set “The Kink Kronikles" (1972). It can be heard in both stereo and mono versions on Essential/Castle’s single-CD reissue of “Village Green” (1998), and on Sanctuary’s expansive three-CD release of the same album (2004), both of which include several songs recorded during sessions for the album and orphaned for various reasons. (I prefer the mono rendering of “Days”; the wide stereo separation reduces the track’s instrumental focus and takes the edge off Davies’ nuanced vocal.) Here’s a link to a lip-synced performance of the song from a 1969 U.K. TV show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzpShIhvrjU According to Andy Miller’s informative little book on “Village Green” (Continuum/33-1/3, 2003), Davies declined to perform “Days” again publicly until after the late Kirsty MacColl’s rendition reached No. 12 on the British charts in 1989. (Elvis Costello would also essay the song, including it on his 1995 collection of covers “Kojak Variety.”) At first glance, it’s easy to see why Davies at first believed that “Days” could occupy a spot among the tracks on “Village Green.” As released, the album dwelled on fast-vanishing elements of English society, and glowed with a burnished nostalgia. It was packed with backward-looking tracks, some of them loving, some of them slightly sardonic: “The Village Green Preservation Society,” “Do You Remember Walter,” “Picture Book,” “Last of the Steam Powered Trains,” “Village Green,” “People Take Pictures of Each Other.” “Days” has a similarly golden hue to it; it sounds the way Terrence Malick’s film “Days of Heaven” looks. Kicking off with two bold major chords, it hangs on a regularly repeated ascending five-note phrase (“Thank you for the days”), echoed melodically in the rise and fall of the rest of the refrain (“Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me”). Masterfully poised, and pitched somewhere between a ballad and a rocker, the song slowly gains power over the course of its two minutes and 52 seconds. It is initially cast as a benediction for times past, and an embracing glance at a departed lover or loved one: I bless the light, I bless the light that shines on you, believe me And though you’re gone, You’re with me every single day, believe me At first blush, this is a number typical of “Village Green,” cocooned sweetly in the past. But “Days” doesn’t shut out the darkness in that past, and is sung in a present that’s uncertain and harrowingly real. It doesn’t take long for Davies to telegraph this – about 45 seconds, in fact. Those endless, sacred, unforgettable days were also “days when you can’t see wrong from right.” The song modulates upward, and Davies’ singing takes on a new urgency: You took my life, But then I knew that very soon you’d leave me But it’s all right Now I’m not frightened of this world, believe me “You took my life?” What a curious choice of words: to reflect on an affair as if it were an act of homicide. You could look at this odd turn of phrase as a statement of all-encompassing love, but in the succeeding line the singer explains he understood the transitory nature of that love almost from the first. As if to deny the singer’s assertion that he’s not “frightened of this world,” amended with an emphatic “believe me” -- an unsettling lyrical motif, with its note of desperation -- the song plummets into a tremulous minor-key bridge about a minute in, with Dave Davies supplying uneasy harmony and sideman Nicky Hopkins’ Mellotron line rising in the mix to exert a somber undertow: I wish today could be tomorrow The night is dark, it just brings sorrow Let it wait The song then repeats itself in an almost incantatory swell, verses reshuffled and minus the bridge, and ends with Davies drawing out the word “Daaaays” like a long dying sigh, as the band, climbing up the scale in a surge to the finish, wraps it with an ecstatic restatement of its opening, almost triumphal unison chord. Quite a tune: A love song, offered as a blessing, about a love that is already over, at once beaming with blinding light and bearing a core of cold dread. It’s among Ray Davies’ most remarkable and subtle songs; to my mind, it makes even a number as arrestingly beautiful as “Waterloo Sunset” sound obvious. It’s all the more astonishing when you consider that its author was not yet 24 when it was recorded. The complexity of its emotion and the sophistication of its execution, both lyrically and musically, are startlingly mature. I cannot concur with Andy Miller’s notion in his “Village Green” book that listening to Davies perform “Days” is an act of “nostalgic communion.” Nostalgia is a feeling of wistful longing. The singer of “Days” venerates his memories, but can’t roll back time and recapture what’s been lost. He’s very much in the now, unable to retreat to those “sacred days,” and fearing that moment when the night falls on him, alone, on the knife edge of another day. This is not the stuff of which “Village Green” is largely made. There is an insurmountable wall between the past and the present in “Days”; to fail to acknowledge that wall is to misapprehend the song’s dimensions. If “Days” has anything in common with any of the songs included on “Village Green,” it’s not with Davies’ yearning songs of bygone Blighty, but with “Big Sky,” the collection’s great anomaly and its most devastating achievement– a terrifying conjuring of a heavenly deity so immense and remote that he cannot hear or sympathize with the cries and the agony of his earthbound supplicants. Pain writ large in the cosmos in “Big Sky” is probed on an intimate, bed-sit level in “Days.” One always runs a risk when characterizing a Ray Davies song as “personal.” He is, after all, a master of artifice and role-playing; many of his best songs (like one of my favorites, the louche, hilarious “Sunny Afternoon”) find him assuming a character. At the time he wrote “Days,” Davies’ personal life, though buffeted by professional uncertainty, was on a relatively even keel, and bore no resemblance to the life encountered in his song. He was still married to his first wife Rasa. He was a young father. He was a star with the future in front of him. Yet “Days” feels like a personal song to me. There is no whiff of artistic sleight-of-hand in it, despite the skill of its craft. Its intense tenderness and empathy, its unlikely yet deftly congruent emotive mix of rapture and bleakness, never feels anything less than honest, heartfelt, and authentic. What experience spawned it? Davies is not forthcoming in “X-Ray,” his “unauthorized autobiography,” which is itself a monumental work of literary theater and ironic distancing. No matter its genesis, this great song reveals the full measure of Davies’ genius. Thank you, Ray, for “Days.” I will carry it in my pocket in my own days to come.

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goodvibesatpeace · 5 years

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Struggle Between Ego And Soul, Love And Attachment

Sometimes you go on living your life longing for something you don’t even know you do, until you find it. A friend, a lover, a soul mate, a twin flame, art, name it as you wish. But it will unexpectedly change forever the way you perceive and experience life.

It is a blissful reality that you enter and life becomes truly a gift and a magical travel. You still have the mundane but it has all shifted – you are finally aware that you are here to experience this adventure, such called life. And learn to love. There is no other purpose. The ups, the downs, you learn how to cope with them and love them. All you want is to feel life, as you realize that is the way of living it and not escaping it.

However everything can crumble if you shift from this blissful place to the common mundane word, without awareness.

You loose sight of your teachings from this magical encounter and unaware start yearning for attachment again. But love cannot be selfish otherwise it is not love.

How can someone enter your life and then leave you without any warning?

You were my friend, you were my home, as you have mentioned so many times and now you are gone.

I might have given you this opportunity, showed you that option, as an attempt to respect you. But truth is that I thought you would never grasp it.

I believed I was important to you in any given moment. I believed you to be the kind of person that stick to loved ones thus does not go wandering around leaving open doors behind.

Or maybe, just maybe, it was never love to begin with.

How do you say goodbye to a friend that chooses to leave you?

How do you close a door that was your doorway to your own soul, to your understandings on the magic of life?

That is still so much I want to share with you, to deepen with you, like we used to.

Have you forgotten me? Have you replaced me or was I never a piece to your soul puzzle?

You were my central piece, the one that links all other pieces, making sense of the pictures emerging from there.

And now this piece is missing, the puzzle is holding to its edge, while in its core the hole remains.

I am angry yes I am, and I have never thought I would, not at you.

How can one be angry at the one who changed your way of perceiving and experiencing life?

How can I be so mad at you, after all that you gave me?

But today I am. Maybe only for today. But that is all I have.

I could understand you, if only I knew you took away out of fear, but not out of love – love has no end, love remains. So what was it?

You seemed so sure of your feelings. I know you were. I felt you were. But then. What happened?

You were my soul – you felt me – understood me – in a word where it seemed no one would never get me- you were able to reach out to my feelings, even on times I could not.

I never understood what I was looking for until I met you.

You shifted my perspective, you made me awaken to my deepest longings and gave me the love and courage to pursuit them.

I have heard that all we need to succeed is to have one true support – I had yours. Now it is no longer here and I feel I am trying to hold on to the air. It is there but one cannot see it or feel it with the eyes or touch, making it hard to believe at times.

What happened? Will you ever come back? Just for today?

Much love to all... go in peace my friends

#love #relationships #ego #spirit #soul #attachment #friend #best friend

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sarcastic-crazy-catlady · 3 years

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I've decided to start sharing my OC's, pretty much all of these are made for Dnd. Some have backstories, which will go along with their art, and some were drawn for other people.

That aside, here's my first OC, Evelynn!

Evelynn is a Water Genasi, with her mortal heritage being Elven. Her early years were spent in a seaside village, learning her mothers trade. Her mother was the healer of their community, and while her mother did not possess any magical abilities, she held an extraordinary knowledge of herbs. Her mothers specialty was aquatic plants, and Evelynn wonders if this is what drew in her father, this knowledge of the sea.

Evelynn was expected to continue her mothers work, to take on the role of healer once her mother had stepped down. To be the next of Iatros' blessed. She found pride in this, she greatly enjoyed the days of learning, of tending to the plants out in the garden,her notebook full of drawings of plants and notes was her favorite possession. She also trained the powers given to her from her fathers bloodline. Her mother would gain a blinding smile when Evelyn made crude shapes of water in the air, she would guide Evelyn in watering the plants by swirling water around the garden.

This peaceful life was taken from her, a storm began to roll in just shy of her 12 year. The storm was horrid, the rain flooded the fields, taking with it the crops. Crashing thunder rolled overhead as lightning, turning night into day, set trees and houses ablaze, only for the flames to be snuffed out in the downpour. They understood that nature has its own will, that their goddess would not stop the storm, they could only hope the storm would spare them, and respect whatever decision it made. Like in many disasters, the elderly and the young fell first, the cold and the wet caused lungs to grow weak, the coughing overtook many in the town. Evelynn remembers her mother ran ragid, desperately trying to save every soul she could, but even her garden wasn't spared. And so, Evelynn remembers, as the lives flickered out, one by one, as she stood by helplessly. In the end even her mother fell victim. A village so full of happiness and life, had turned to ruins full of sorrow and death. Evelynn mourned, and believed Iatros mourned with her, everyone she had ever known, have ever held dear, was gone. But this sadness hid away, as a ugly hate reared its head. Evelynn despised the storm that took everything from her, the sea that swallowed up the land of her home, and the herbs that did nothing to help save them. How could nature betray them like this? She hid away her magic, wanting nothing to do with the water that took away her life.

Evelynn left days later, there was only misery left for her. She traveled through forests, shying away from civilization. She traveled for months before her anger finally broke. There was no meltdown, no screaming at the sky, just an injured bird.

She heard chirping as she passed through a clearing in the trees, as she looked around she spied a bird, a young one, with red matted feathers. The bird stilled, watching her, before turning and sprinting deeper in the forest. She's not sure why she followed, years later she would describe it as something pulling on her heart, telling her to pursue. The scene she was led to was morbid, a nest torn apart on the ground as the birds' siblings huddled around their parent. Judging by the duller coat, it seemed like this was their mother, she was barely breathing. As Evelyn drew closer she saw the wing, bent at a grotesque angle, and the leg that ended too soon, a foot nowhere to be seen. As she stood there, Evelynn could hear her mother, and could see her old notebook. She could remember, without that stabbing pain in her chest. So she got to work, she splinted the wing with sticks and pieces of cut fabric. Wrapped the leg, as much as she could, and washed the blood from the feathers. She found a hollow tree she could move them to to heal, collected sticks and leaves to craft a rudimentary nest. As she turned to leave, a small chirp sounded behind her. The small bird, the one that found her, was watching her again.

Evelynn ended up staying until the mother was healed, helping them gather food and materials. When she left, after seeing the mother fly again, she left feeling lighter. Like she had started to reclaim a small piece of herself, like she had started to forgive. The night she left, she began to pray to Iatros again, feeling as though she once again honored the goddes's domain.

While she traveled she learned, she traded herbs she collected for a book and pencils. She documented new pants she found, and filled in pages with the ones her mother taught her.

She learned more about the forest, she grew to understand how energy flowed through the plants into the ground, paving the way for new life. She doesn't know why she took to quickly, to the magic of nature, it was as if there was something in here calling to it, reaching, yearning to use nature.

She refined the power she grew to love again, and as her control over water advanced, a new magic started to grow within her. The plants had started to obey her, the energy nature provided allowed her to heal, to manipulate the elementals she needed. She became everything her mother wished her to be. She traveled for years, learning from the forest, from nature. Evelynn continued to travel, collecting herbs, and discovering spells.

Eventually she landed herself in TenTowns, searching for a rare species of vine, a wonderful anti nausea remedy. She had been making her way to a nearby forest when the first snowflakes fell. She reached out to catch one, and as soon as it landed on her plan, a sense of foreboding crashed onto her. A nerve racking fear settles inside her, that this snow was a bad omen. In a way, she was right. Once there snow started, it never stopped. A never ending fluffy of ice and snow. She found shelter in the town nearby, as did many travelers trapped by an unrelenting storm. Another storm that holds no mercy, taking as many victims as it pleases. Every day the storm persisted, the feeling of dread rose within her, as things grew dire, the feeling became more precise. A wrenching gut feeling made itself known around people, seemingly strangers, it didn't happen often, but when it appeared she trusted it. It seemed to keep her safe so far.

Then the sacrifices started, the people of the towns falling victim to snow madness. Condemning innocents to the frigid wastelands. The sacrifices were chosen at random, a twisted lottery gambling with lives of the townspeople. Evelynn was entered into this death drawing, everyone residing in the town was forced to, but something nagged her, telling her that she couldn't leave it up to chance, so she had to remove her name entirely.

Her way of doing this was intriguing but effective. She recruited the help of a companion she had made, a little chipmunk she called Sporos. He was an adorable little sweetheart that was as shy as can be. He gladly helped her steal back the slip of paper with her name, in exchange for seeds, and a comfy coat pocket to sleep in. He stayed with her after that, a pocket sized travel friend, and he greatly enjoyed stealing Evelynn coins and taking them back to his pocket.

Evelynn ended up escaping the town, and making her way to Bryn Shander, where she made ends meet, until one day she was approached by Dannika Graysteel, who had a very interesting offer.

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requiem-dailyprophet · 5 years

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WITCHTIPS & HOROSCOPES 8/7-13/2019

The First Quarter Moon in Scorpio occurs on the 7th, giving us the cosmic push to put our intentions into place for manifesting our dreams. Fortunately for us, this week’s astrology yields good luck and prosperity—which will help us achieve our innermost visions. The Leo Sun softly connects with Jupiter, who is retrograde in philosophical Sagittarius, on the 7th, encouraging us to reach for the stars and express our desires with the world. The following day, Jupiter retrograde links up with Venus, expanding our hearts and minds. Venus, who’s currently in passionate Leo, and Jupiter retrograde meetup on the 8th, which is the ideal time to manifest. We must use the lovely energy on the 8th to our advantage—asserting our truest wishes into the universe. We will be more apt to forgive and resolve matters on the 8th, with the intention of having a completely open heart and mind. Aug 11th is a very active day. Mercury reenters Leo, taking us back to July 26th when Mercury first entered Leo. This is our cosmic redo of July 26th-July 19th. Jupiter turns direct on August 11th, after moonwalking for the past four months. We are retracing our moral high ground from April 10th (when Jupiter retrograde began) and stepping into our personal truths. Uranus retrograde in Taurus begins August 11th, lasting until January 10th, 2020, asking us to re-evaluate our finances and relationships by honoring those who value us the most.

Aries

March 21-April 19

You’re getting a big payback on creative visions this week, all of which is expanding your confidence and your wallet. Finally, you’re reaping the fruits of your hard labor. Be aware that while you’re on the road to success, others may try to cut you down and hurt your reputation. Allow yourself to only hold space for those who lift you up, rather than cut you down. Life’s too short for drama and to always be on guard in friendships. Your life is growing and evolving—those who cannot keep up and support you aren’t worth the energy or time.

Taurus

April 20-May 20

It’s been a long road towards happiness for you. This week tests your ability to be cheerful, as you are being thrown cosmic curveballs that will affect your energy. The only war to survive is to live and speak your truth. Don’t be afraid to let others know how you feel. Don’t let the fear of reflection rule your life. Standing in your truth is a place of power. It will allow you to connect to your higher self because you are being real. No more games. Just pure honesty. This will help you live your life to the fullest capacity.

Gemini

May 21-June 20

Relationships are at a standstill this week, due to clandestine secrets that are coming out of the dark. You may feel that your partner and friends are keeping important facts hidden, which in return is making you feel off-balance. All matters come to light eventually and this week resolves mysteries that are plaguing your mind. While you may want to hit reset on all relationship matters and work such problems out, you have to focus on your self-respect. If someone has hurt you, it may be time to set them free. No matter the outcome, always put your needs first.

Cancer

June 21-July 22

This week is the ideal time to rejuvenate and restore your energy. The past few weeks have been a doozy, causing major stresses and anxieties to rise. You’re in desperate need of a relaxing and invigorating day full of self-care. All of the tensions within are causing restless nights and emotional meltdowns. It’s time to take care of yourself by meditating and going to a yoga class to decompress. While it may take a few days to get in the zen zone, you will learn to be calm in the moment—which is what your body, mind, and spirit crave.

Leo

July 23-August 22

Your professional ideals and goals are changing this week. Instead of moving forward with a new vision, you’re back peddling to manifest an old dream. While this may be your ultimate goal (at the moment) and you feel confident in executing this endeavor, it may be harder to take off and get started than you had thought. Rather than abandoning your dreams, go back to the drawing board and try to revise your plans. You may even surprise yourself by being inventive and creative in your pursuits. Don’t give up! Give yourself the time and patience to try harder.

Virgo

August 23-September 22

You’re now walking to the beat of your own drum, which is encouraging your lesser seen eccentricities to come out. You’re embracing new thoughts and experimenting with relationships to find yourself. Let your mind expand through trying out different methods, if only to promote and cradle self-evolution. You’re becoming an individual and veering away from the norms of the status quo (all of which is commendable and applaudable). Accept your unconventional beliefs and lifestyle this week. Don’t hide them from others. Be yourself and others will flock to be near you—because you are being the most authentic version of yourself.

Libra

September 23-November 21

Always one to live by the rules and civilities of society—you are now fed up with playing by the rules. You’re tired of seeing heartbreaking news every day and yearn for change in the world. This week, you’ll opt to rage against the constraints that hold you (and others) back. You’re taking a stand and asserting your beliefs on others. You may be met with backlash, particularly from your friends who do not share the same beliefs as you. Stand tall and proud knowing you are living your life the way you want. Fight for your rights. Take a stand!

Scorpio

October 23-November 21

You’re asserting your will onto others with the intention of winning an intellectual debate. While you may feel as though your opinions are not being heard—they are. You are being seen by others. Whether or not your views are being understood is a different matter. Make a checklist stating what you want to express and speak with precision to clarify all matters. You’re a great debater and amazing at playing the devil’s advocate, which is why you will be a victor amongst your peers. The only caveat is that you may become emotional at times. Keep your guard up.

Sagittarius

November 22-December 21

You’re always one to seek out the philosophical lesson from personal drama—especially when others are to blame. But, this week you are stuck in an emotional rut because you are seeing that you are the one at fault. Understanding your part may be hard, as you tend to have a high moral bar for others—even yourself. Making mistakes makes us all human—and accepting that we have hurt others is hard, however, necessary to evolve. The conflict within is causing you to not take the moral high road, which is to apologize. Sometimes saying “sorry” is the hardest thing to do.

Capricorn

December 22-January 19

What are your deepest dream? What do you truly wish to manifest? What do you love? These are all the questions you will be facing in the week ahead. The universe is knocking at your door, asking you to make important decisions about your future. The caveat is that you are being cosmically asked to make a choice that will not only elevate your mind—but your heart as well. Committing to your deepest visions will prove challenging in this mortal coil filled with materialism and pessimism. However, you are getting clearer in honoring your truest self. Keep the faith.

Aquarius

January 20-February 18

Life is a bowl of cherries this week—full of sweetness and sour times. While you’ve been blossoming into the best version of yourself, there’s been a ton of conflict within forcing you to second guess your desires. Practice positive affirmations in front of a mirror this week to squash insecurities and to build up your confidence. Over time you will see the difference and will be happy to find that you’ve built up your confidence. By encouraging positive growth within, you are opening up your energy to new possibilities and opportunities—all of which will help you transform and rediscover yourself.

Pisces

February 19-March 20

You’ve been shying away from the public eye, due to your desire to privately deal with personal problems. This week, you’re stepping out and discussing your issues with your friends and family—only to be open with them about the reasons behind your recent strange behavior. You will feel seen and heard by your peers, which will encourage more acts of candor in the weeks to come. Your bluntness and strength will give you peace of mind, allowing you to feel calmer and more confident than before. Your core group of friends will shock you by their immense support, love, and kindness.

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#horoscope

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