#you do not. you do not fucking understand how big a deal this is for me. i can't just move on from that

[midnightloversmusic]

Ruined Movie Dates ✧.*

James Potter x Reader

Hurt/Comfort

“Did you think I would have been mad? because i’m not mad, honestly I don’t think I could ever be mad at you even now when you hide yourself in a bathroom to avoid me helping you when you are hurt, I can never be mad.”

masterlist

————————————————————————

You are currently hiding from James in the bathroom.

It’s not like you want to be hiding from James, you want to be cuddled up in his arms watching a movie right about now as you had planned yesterday, but here you are with a black eye hiding in your bathroom as you hear James letting himself into your apartment.

It really wasn’t your fault it’s not like you prompted this person to punch you, she mistaked you for the girl who slept with her girlfriend and that’s fair.

but god does it hurt like an absolute bitch.

And all you know is that James can not know about this. Your sweet, kind, lovely, caring boyfriend would flip the absolute fuck out if he saw that you had a black eye.

in a loving and concerned way of course but, how exactly are you going to hide it from him when he’s literally in your apartment right now for a movie date?

you have absolutely no idea.

“Love?”

you hear James call from the entry way

“I’m just in the bathroom i’ll be out in a sec!”

fuck.

you usually keep your makeup in a drawer under the sink but as you open it is you realize you left your foundation in your purse yesterday when you were running late to work. Now you really have to option but to kick James out and wait until your eye heals to see him again.

“Um James can you come here please?” you ask in a small voice

you hear his footsteps come from the kitchen up until the door and you open the door a crack so that he can’t see your bruised eye

“I’m really not feeling good tonight and I know it’s a little late to cancel seemingly as you’re already in my apartment but I hope you’ll understand when I ask you to please go?”

he stands there silently staring at you, evaluating you, looking right into your soul, and stealing all the thoughts from your brain.

how dare he.

“If you really are feeling unwell and want me to go, I will but I don’t mind getting sick and I would rather take care of you, if you’ll let me?”

and shit. When he talks in that sickly sweet voice it’s really fucking hard to lie to him.

“Jamie I appreciate the offer but I just really need you to go-“

as you are as politely as possible asking him to remove himself from the premises of your apartment complex he shifts his position allowing him to see just a little further into the bathroom. Just enough to see your absolutely fucked eye.

“Baby what happened?”

All the sudden his concerned look gets ten times worse. his eyebrow scrunches more and is frown deepens and he opens the door to grab your chin and examine your eye.

without the stress of trying to hide from james you can finally feel the throbbing pain in your eye and you really wish you had sneaked an ice pack before you scurried into hiding

“lovie you have to tell me what happened”

you just whine.

he lightly brushes his finger over the bruise and you wince

“sorry”

“it’s okay” you say taking a deep breath

“This girl mistaked me for the girl her girlfriends been cheating on her with but it’s not her fault because she showed me a picture and we do look exactly the same I mean I was wondering if i was secretly adopted and had a twin that I didn’t know about-“

and now youre rambling and it doesn’t seem to be soothing james’ pitying expression

“ Love why didn’t you call me immediately? I would have been there in an instant. Did you think I would have been mad? because i’m not mad, honestly I don’t think I could ever be mad at you even now when you hide yourself in a bathroom to avoid me helping you when you are hurt, I can never be mad.”

“i’m sorry I just didn’t want to make it a big deal”

“it is a big deal, you’re hurt, cmon love let’s go get an ice pack that must hurt”

and he scooped you up into his arms as if it was your legs that were hurt and carried you the couch as he grabbed an ice pack

you can’t lie, there are much worse things than being taken care of by james. much much worse.

#james potter x you #james fleamont potter #james potter fluff #james potter x reader #james potter fanfiction #james potter #james potter fanfic #james potter fic #james potter imagine #james potter x fem!reader #jamespotter #james potter hurt/comfort #marauders era

[fuck-customers]

today, mar 25 2024, a woman came into my red hardware store and dumped her bag of returns on my counter. she said "i have a fucking return. it's all coming the fuck back. i don't need any of this fucking stuff" and i was instantly on edge because she's being loud and every other word was another f-bomb. and i GET IT i get swearing, i get being angry, but why the hell are you upset with me lol i looked at the pile of stuff and was like "oh did you buy this yesterday?" because i recognized the pile of items as things that i had personally rung up at some point. it's a bunch of electrical stuff like outlet covers and some solenoids or wtv. but god i shouldn't've said anything. because she snaps "No what the fuck. i bought this fucking weeks ago. and i dont fucking need it. so i'm returning it"

and i'm like.. damn ok, fine. she's digging for receipts. and has a huge stack of Orange Hardware store receipts. and i'm watching her flip through them and she snaps "go ahead and grab yours if you recognize it!" and i'm like 'uh.. ok i'm pretty sure that my store's receipt is this one' and i pointed at one (idk if its just the font but i recognized my store's receipt and yoinked it out.

so i start processing her return. she's like "ugh i need to go get my card from the car!" and i'm like ok, that's fine. she doesn't really need it for the return but 1) i want her to get away from me because i'm gonna call a manager she's being such an asshole. 2) her friend was looking for other stuff to buy.

she comes back in with her card. i'm like scanning and returning the items. 3 items i KNOW are NOT ours are on the pile. im like.. i don't want to deal with her trying to insist that they belong to our store. but i scan one. it beeps 'item not found' i go 'oh well these items aren't from our store, sorry i can't return them"

and she's like "i dont see how that's fucking possible! everything in that bag is from this fucking store!" and she's just absolutely shrieking. and i don't understand why she's mad, like i don't get it. the manager came up and was like 'we don't sell this product. sorry we can't do a return on it.'

she screams some more but accepts that they must be Orange Hardware and not Red Hardware. She goes out to "make a call while her friend shops"

and i swear to god that she was screaming at someone on the phone for next fourteen minutes and everyone inside the store could hear her from the parking lot. every other word out of this woman's mouth was "fuck" and it was setting my nerves on edge.

her friend finally came up to buy his shit. and it totals $77. she's standing at the door handing him her visa and she is PISSED that the total is $77. she says she doesn't understand how it could add up to that much. and im like uhmmmm.. they're plumping parts.. and the stupid toys you're buying for your grandkids pushed the total to $77 after tax.. either buy it or leave. i don't care

she ended up buying it but you could still hear her swearing up and down the parking lot as she was screaming on the phone with her mother (apparently) saying that she was going to need to be reimbursed for the shit she was buying

and i'm just like... goddamn, i dont care how awful your day is. don't take it out on employees or customers you asshat.

the only funny part about this is the fact that her name was actually Karen. which just made me laugh. but all the other staff had come up to the front to make sure i was okay while she was yelling. and she did get intimidated by some of the men and slink out while her friend paid for the stuff. but still.. a big yikes.

Posted by admin Rodney.

[sturnish]

౨ৎ Brothers Best Friend 2 ౨ৎ || ⋆౨ৎ˚ Matt Sturniolo⋆౨ৎ˚ || series master list ||

ᡣ𐭩 | Warnings - Smut

ᡣ𐭩 | Summary- Matt and Nate have always been friends. But throughout their friendship, Matt kinda developed feelings for Nate's younger sister, Y/n, but shes off limits for 2 reasons, her boyfriend, and the fact that she's his best friend's sister! what happens when she comes home crying because her boyfriend broke up with her?

A week later, Nate and Matt have a hockey game against another school. It's a big deal, and the entire school is there to cheer them on. As usual Y/n is there to support the team, even though she doesn't really understand the game. She sits in the bleachers with her friends, waving a blue and gold pompom around and cheering.

During a break in the action, she spots Matt skating up and down the sidelines, talking to the other players. She walks down to go talk with him, but before she gets there, Nate comes up behind her and picks her up, laughing at her scream

"Nate! Put me down!" she shrieks, struggling in his grip.

"Come on, Y/n/n," he teases. "You're not going to tell me you're not glad I'm winning" He finally sets her down and she turns around, glaring at him. He chuckles and messes up her hair a bit.

"Matt's been playing really well," she says, glancing over at him. "I'm proud of him."

Nate smiles down at her, his expression softening. "He's always been good at sports." He says, "But never as good as me." He says, flexing his muscles dramatically.

"Okay sure." she says walking away from Nate, rolling her eyes. "If you say so." She turns back to the edge rink and walks up to Matt. "Hey," she says, smiling up at him. "You're really kicking butt out there."

He grins down at her, his eyes sparkling. "Thanks, princess. I couldn't have done it without you." He says with a little smile. "Alright i gotta go, Nate's watching us."

She nods, watching as he skates back onto the ice. Her heart skips a beat as she thinks about what it would be like to be his girlfriend. It's silly, she knows they can't be together, but she can't help but wish things were different. She turns back to her friends, feeling a little down.

The game ends with the school's team winning and Matt making the winning shot, everyone is cheering. Nate comes skating over to her, panting and grinning from ear to ear, she smiles at him and punches him in the shoulder " I guess you're kinda good." she says with a small grin.

"Don't you ever forget it, " He says, wrapping an arm around her. "Hey, i'll meet you and the guys outside in 30, okay?" he says and walks into the locker room.

she walks over to the sidelines and jumps up into Matt's arms as soon as she sees him

"Matt, you won" she says and kisses him. He kisses her back and hugs her tightly.

"I couldn't have done it without you, you know that" He says and she blushes.

"We should celebrate" She says to Matt and he grins at her.

"I have some ideas on how we can do that." he whispers into her ear.

"Matt!" she giggles, "Nate is outside waiting for you!"

"Come on, i'll ditch Nate." he says, kissing her again. He pulls his phone out and texts Nate "Hey, I'm sorry but I can't meet you outside, something came up." Hits send and turns his phone off. "come on" he drags her into the bathroom, locking the door behind them. He kisses her passionately, pushing her up against the wall. She moans into his mouth, feeling the heat between her legs.

"Fuck baby, You're gonna be a good girl and stay quiet for me?" he whispers against her skin. She nods, her eyes closed, her hands tangled in his hair. "Good girl," he says, kissing her neck. "Now, show me how good and get on your knees."

She moves down onto her knees, looking up at him. His cock is already hard and she reaches out, wrapping her hand around it. She starts to stroke him slowly, looking up at him as she does. He leans against the wall, closing his eyes and groaning. "That's it, baby." She speeds up her strokes, feeling the heat building in her core.

He looks down at her, his expression intense. "I want to feel you around me." He says, guiding her head towards his cock. She opens her mouth, taking him into her mouth as deep as she can. He gasps, his hips moving involuntarily.

She sucks on him, teasing him with her tongue. She can taste his essence on her lips, and it only makes her want more. She bobs her head up and down, feeling him grow harder in her mouth.

"Fuck, Y/n," he groans, his hands tangled in her hair. "That feels so good." She moans around him, loving the feel of him in her mouth. She sucks harder, her tongue swirling around him.

Suddenly he pulls her mouth off of him then pushes it down all the way onto his cock, making her gag a little. He holds her there, his hips moving roughly as he fucks her mouth. She lets out muffled moans, feeling him get closer and closer.

"Fuck, you take it so well." He growls, his hands gripping her shoulders. "You're going to make me cum." He says, thrusting one more time before he groans loudly into her ear, pulsing his release down her throat.

She swallows, feeling the warmth of his cum spread through her mouth and down her throat. He pulls her up and kisses her roughly, tasting himself on her lips. "You're amazing." He whispers before leaning her against the wall, her back facing him. "I want you."

He pushes her pants down and underwear aside, and then sinks into her with a groan. She gasps, arching her back into him. He begins to move, thrusting slowly at first but picking up speed as they both grow more lost in the sensation.

"God, you're so tight," he whispers, kissing her neck. "I've missed this."

She moans, her nails digging into the wall.

He reaches down, rubbing her clit roughly with his thumb. "who's cock are you taking so well?" he whispers. She moans, her hips moving with his, her orgasm building quickly.

"Y-yours." she whispers, feeling herself start to come apart around him. "I'm taking yours." She cries out, her body shuddering with pleasure as she comes. Matt keeps thrusting into her, overstimulating her. "I-i cant!" she cries out, feeling her body begin to tremble.

"You can, and you will" he growls, his hips moving faster. "You're gonna take my cock like the slut you are." He says, pulling her hair roughly, making her moan.

She feels another wave of pleasure wash over her, her body tingling all over. Matt groans, thrusting into her one last time as he comes. He picks her up and places her on the sink and gets on his knees in front of her. "I'm not done with you yet," he whispers, kissing her neck. "I want to see how wet you are for me."

He pushes her legs back, spreading them wide, and then leans in, licking her slowly from her thigh to her clit. She gasps, arching her back into his touch. He sucks on her clit, flicking it with his tongue before slowly pulling it into his mouth. She cries out, her hips bucking up toward him.

He groans, holding her hips still as he continues to eat her out. "That's it, baby. Show me how much you want it." He growls, his tongue dancing over her sensitive flesh. She moans, her head falling back against the cold mirror. "Oh fuck, Y/n." He says, feeling her body start to tense beneath his lips. He sinks his 2 fingers into her, curling them and fucking her harder

She comes, her body shuddering with pleasure as she cries out his name. He continues to move his fingers in and out, sucking on her clit. Finally, she collapses bonelessly against the mirror.

He pulls his fingers out of her and places them between her lips, "taste yourself baby." She does as he says, licking the sweet, salty flavor off of his fingers. He grins, reaching up to wipe the counter top. "Now let's go find you some clothes and get you home." He says, kissing her softly. "unless you wanna come over to my place and tell me how proud you are again?" She smiles up at him, her cheeks flushed. "I'd like that."

Taglist - @gvf23 @3kslav @riasturns

#chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo smut #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo fluff #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo smut #sturniolo #nick sturniolo x you #nick sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #nathan doe x you #nathan doe #nate doe #nathan doe imagine #nathan doe x reader #nathan doe smut #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo x reader #christopher owen sturniolo #matt sturniolo fluff #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo x you #matthew sturniolo imagine

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Unknown, Ep 10: Qian and Yuan

I’ve had a few people ask if I was going to do a breakdown post for the final scene between Qian and Yuan. Admittedly, I was not planning on doing so, but I like the attention 😈 so I will! 

Last we left off, Qian and San Pang were having a very difficult conversation, San Pang forced Qian to think about the future and was kicked out as a result. 

We start with a moment with each character to themselves. Qian closes the door behind San Pang and we see him hand at the door for a second, head hung in a way that feels very tired. He walks away from the door back to the couch to grab his glasses and wrap up the evening, when the camera cuts to Yuan sitting on the staircase, just out of sight of Qian. 

We see Yuan look up at the ceiling, take a deep breath, and then slowly move his eyes back to center. He is processing everything that he just heard from San Pang and Qian. Yuan is trying to keep himself composed here, he knows that Qian will be heading up the stairs eventually and so he stays seated because he wants Qian to know that he heard everything. Because Yuan is fucking mad. 

Qian heads up the stairs and we get, what could not be a more perfect little deer in headlights look from Qian as he processes that Yuan has heard everything. And I do love what this show does in how it portrays its characters because Yuan is still Qian’s little brother, and his face in the camera looks like that of an upset little kid. “Xiao Yuan,” Qian says as Yuan stands up and rushes down the stairs. In such a quick moment, Chris rolls his eyes, looks up, and then down like Qian is annoyed at Yuan’s behavior while knowing that he is absolutely going to have to be the one to handle it. 

Yuan brushes past him, but Qian immediately turns and follows after him, calls after him, tells him to wait. But Yuan keeps walking. Where he’s going? I have no fucking clue, but it is clear that Qian’s words aren’t going to cut it. Yuan has heard everything that Qian told San Pang. He’s heard about Qian’s wish for their happiness, he’s heard San Pang tell Qian that they love each other, that they have tried everything to make them not love each other, and what he hasn’t heard is an answer to San Pang’s question: 

“Do you want him to have a future without you?”

I don’t know exactly what (if any) part of the conversation acted as the tipping point for Yuan, but he has been pissed the entire episode about Qian hiding his medical stuff from him. So I can imagine that not hearing an answer from Qian about wanting to be in Yuan’s future might serve as a last straw kind of deal. 

And it marks a very important change in Qian that he runs after Yuan this time, that he physically puts himself in front of Yuan to stop him. Because he doesn’t want Yuan to go somewhere to cool off the way he did during Yuan’s first confession four years prior. He doesn’t want to just wait it out. He actually wants to talk to Yuan about where his head is at. That is huge progress from Mr. Hit First Talk Later. 

“Ge.” Yuan says, and then lets out a very big breath, like he’s trying to temper his feelings, but the frustration still bleeds out of him “It was never your fault,” 

Ah, here we go. What set Yuan off is Qian talking with San Pang about the Russian Roulette, reading between the lines there and understanding that Qian is scared of giving in to his feelings for Yuan because he blames himself for how deeply, how steadfastly Yuan loves him. Yuan is willing to die for him, and Qian has never had that before. He’s scared of giving in to his feelings for Yuan because he is scared of losing Yuan, and he is scared that Yuan’s love for him means Yuan will be lost because of him. 

“It was never your fault,” Yuan said and he put his hands on Qian’s shoulders. 

I do not even know how to describe the look Qian gives Yuan when he heard those words, nor can I really tell you what emotion(s) Qian is feeling in that moment, but I can tell you that I am obsessed with that look on his face. It’s like his breath catches in his throat and there is an ambiguity there, just like there was a bit of ambiguity in the head nod he gave San Pang, because he’s out of breath from running after Yuan, but there is also this chance that the pause in his breathing there is because of what Yuan said. Anyway: 

“Even though I know that in the end you might not want all that I’ve given-” 

Yuan says, while Qian looks down in the direction of his shoulders, where Yuan’s hands were just a moment ago. They made excellent casting choices here, I actually think for this scene it is really important that Kurt is taller than Chris, because it adds some extra power to Yuan’s position for me here. The way Yuan looks down at Qian makes him seem even more pissed off about the entire situation, almost like he’s belittling Qian. He wants to dig a knife in here, and he’s being successful at it

“Hearing it first hand still hurts a little,” 

And we are back in our original confession dynamic. Qian is not looking at Yuan, Yuan refuses to look away from Qian. Qian looks kind of out of it, I would say he is dissociating a little bit, but I actually think what is happening here is that Qian is getting hit with the full force of Yuan’s words. I think he is absorbing and processing everything that is being said and understanding how not making a decision is hurting Yuan. Mostly because of how quick his reaction time is to trying to stop Yuan from walking away immediately after he says it hurts. 

“I’ll be fine. I just need some time.” Yuan says, and I do think he means it. I think when Yuan came back from the States he had reached a point where he could live without Qian changing their relationship status, even if he didn’t want to. 

But as Yuan tries to walk away, Qian stops him.

“I didn’t mean it that way,” look at him using his words!  Qian looks so fucking exhausted when he does. The world has weighed heavy on him for so long, he’s been fighting an internal battle with himself about his feelings for Yuan for ages. It’s a lot, and the way Chris holds Qian here makes it feel like a lot. But, Yuan finally settles, because Qian is willing to engage in conversation. He is trying to clarify a misunderstanding, he is not outright rejecting Yuan here, he is not running away from talking about his feelings for Yuan. And so Yuan can stay, because there is some hope left there for him to hold on to. 

He releases another huge breath, he stretches for just a second, grounding himself. He looks back at Qian “Then what do you mean?” 

Qian stares in to the void, then rolls his eyes upwards, closes his eyes, and sighs. Chris shakes his head a little, like Qian is giving up. Because he is giving up. Because Qian is about to say the words. He is about to admit that his feelings for Yuan aren’t clear cut. Yuan looks away from  Qian in this moment, where Qian is getting himself together. 

gifs by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

“I can’t really figure out if it is love or something else that my feelings for you are.” And at the end of this, he isn’t running from the words anymore, because he looks at Yuan and Yuan is looking back at him. When Yuan first admitted his feelings, his suffering caused Qian to avoid eye contact. When Yuan returned, Qian couldn’t stop looking at Yuan. When listening to Yuan once again speak to his feelings and tell Qian he was hurting, Qian started in his comfort zone, in the old habits of looking away. But when he is actually admitting his feelings to Yuan, he does turn to look him in the eye. He isn’t avoiding it anymore. 

“Is it the love of a brother? Can we really turn it into romantic love? I don’t know.” Qian is finally having the conversation he has needed to have with Yuan. This is confusing, how do you separate your feelings out? How do you know? What happens if things don’t go well? How much are you set to lose if things devolve?” 

Yuan is capable of holding, understanding, and pushing that nuance, we’ve seen him do it before at the river. “This thing between us, is it because you don’t want or you don’t dare?” 

“Yes.” Qian says “All I know is I can’t live without you.” 

Yuan has seen that, San Pang and Lili have seen that, we have seen that. Qian wants to be careful with how he proceeds along this path, and he is right to do so. Because it is hard to determine, when you have known someone so long, when you have raised them, when you have seen them as a brother, when you have not had love outside of the family before, when that love has existed the entire time, and has been different the entire time, and how do you recognize that when you are in it? 

There is a pause. 

“Four years later, you came back.”

There is another pause. 

I love these pauses. I love Qian putting space between these thoughts, whether he is scrambling internally for what to say, or whether he is hesitant to voice them, I do not know. I just know that I love love love when directors allow for breathing room. 

“I saw your letter of last words.” 

Qian stops looking at Yuan here. Another little pause. 

“That’s when I started to feel scared.” 

The camera cuts to a wide shot, where both Qian and Yuan are visible. And we can see Yuan reacting to what Qian is saying. Yuan also is not making eye contact, he is fidgeting a little. But he is listening intently to Qian’s words. The blocking of this shot is interesting to me too, because the way that Chris is standing has Qian facing Yuan, but we don’t see enough of Chris’ eyes here, so while it looks like Qian is looking at Yuan, that is not necessarily the case. We have seen him look away multiple times and his head barely moves. 

Qian is talking in to the void, and Yuan is picking up the signal. Another pause, and right before Qian continues talking, Yuan turns to look at him with this look of surprise on his face. His mouth is slightly agape, his eyes look soft staring at Qian.

 “I’m terrified,” Qian says. “What if you had no chance to come back? I don’t know what I would do.” 

Yuan looks at Qian, looks away, looks up like he is trying to decide how to feel. What type of treatment he should be giving to Qian at this moment. Should he be bitter, should he be harsh, should he be soft? 

“Wei Qian.” Yuan says 

AND I WILL ONCE AGAIN SHAKE MY FIST AT THE SUBTITLES FOR TRANSLATING GE AS QIAN BECAUSE IT SO SEVERELY CUTS THE IMPORTANCE OF MOMENTS LIKE THIS ONE. 

Qian cannot figure out his feelings! He can’t figure out if he loves Yuan like a brother or something more! So Yuan cuts the brother out of it. He calls Qian by his name. He calls him Wei Qian, he puts the separation up for Qian. Is this the love of a brother? That’s an easier question to answer when you aren’t being called ‘brother’. How do you feel when you aren’t being reminded of your connection? 

I do not have the ability to describe the way Kurt’s mouth moves here, but I love the expression he gives Yuan as he finishes saying Wei Qian. He’s clearly going for a soft approach. Qian’s mouth, which hangs open just slightly, closes shut. 

“I’ve told you. I can sum up my life in two words: Wei Qian.” A smile starts to creep up his face. That’s love, bitch! Yuan was pissed, but now that Qian has stopped him, not that Qian has voices his hesitations, now that Qian has admitted that he can’t live without Yuan, even if he doesn’t know what his feelings for Yuan are, the love Yuan has for Qian melts the anger and lets the love bleed through. “But I’m not making you take responsibility for me.” 

This is a very important character trait of Yuan’s. One of the first things we saw of teenage Yuan was him grabbing one of the household bills. Yuan has been working side hustles while in school. He’s been helping pay the bills. He’s been as helpful as he possibly can be at all times, because this was a home he was given, not a home he was born in to. 

GOD DAMMIT CHRIS IS SO GOOD. ALL HE DID WAS MOVE HIS EYEBALLS LIKE…TWO CENTIMETERS AND THAT WAS ENOUGH TO KILL ME. 

Yuan is saying all the things that Qian needs to hear. Yuan can sum his life up with Qian, Qian fed him, Qian kept him warm, Qian gave him a home, Qian gave him love. Qian has seen Yuan as his responsibility since they were kids, but Yuan has wanted nothing but to be a support system for Qian. I said it before, that Yuan is the only person who continuously helps Qian to whom Qian is not beholden. Qian owes San Pang and his family, Qian owes Le and the gang, Qian owes Xiong. Qian does not owe Yuan. Qian does not see Yuan as someone that owes him. 

That small little eye motion are some gears clicking in to place in Qian’s head. That small little eye motion is Qian well and truly listening to what Yuan is saying. 

And here comes the parallel: 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

“Did you come after me because you feel guilty, or because you care?” (this thing between us, is it because you don’t want or you don’t dare?) 

A genuine question that Yuan is using to try to push Qian in to allowing himself finally see his feelings through to the end. Qian is standing here before Yuan telling him that he does not know what his feelings for Yuan are. Even though those In The Know (Yuan and San Pang) can see the truth in Qian clear as day, Qian himself has not admitted it. 

So Yuan gives him a test.

Qian pauses for a moment, starts to shake his head, blinks. 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

“I really don’t know,” he says 

Qian has failed the test. 

Yuan’s soft smile has a hint of sadness in it now. 

“You don’t need to know.” Yuan leans back against the wall, looking up at the sky. Qian is looking straight ahead, once again not making eye contact with Yuan “It’s always been my problem. Going home with you.”

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

The weight of what Yuan is saying hits. Qian looks at the ground. Complete opposite direction as Yuan.  

“Getting attached to you. Falling for you.” 

Qian closes his eyes and sighs, pulling his head up from where it was pointed. It’s like he can’t get used to hearing Yuan confess. Like it hits him every time Yuan says he’s in love with Qian and has been forever. 

“Wanting you all my life.” 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

That is too much for Qian. Even with his eyes closed, even though he can’t see Yuan right now, he has to face away. 

“It was never your fault.” Yuan says, and Qian’s eyes open ever so slightly. 

And I just have to say that it is really really important to me that with all of Qian’s trauma, with everything he has suffered, with the stuff he went through with his mother, that he finally has someone tell him that it wasn’t his fault. There is naturally a lot of hesitation in changing the way you see someone you have raised, someone you have looked at and treated as a brother, and suddenly see them as someone to be romantically interested in. 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

So it is important to me that Yuan tells Qian he did nothing wrong. That Yuan’s feelings here are entirely his own, borne of his own mind and body, and that there is no aspect of Yuan’s feelings for him that Qian pressured him in to. That Yuan will be fine, eventually, if Qian does not reciprocate his feelings. Qian is not being forced in to anything here, and neither is Yuan. And I am so so so glad that Qian got to hear that. Twice! 

Anyway, Qian’s eyes open ever so slightly right as Yuan starts walking away, shoulder checking Qian on his way out. 

“Wait.” Qian grabs Yuan by the wrist “Wei Zhiyuan.” 

gifs by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Yuan’s eyes are locked on to Qian’s hand around his wrist. He once again looks surprised that Qian would be brave enough to stop him from leaving. We get a shot of their hands (😈) and Yuan ever, ever so slowly raises his eyes to look at Qian.  

Qian has passed the test at the last second.

#here you go for the people who asked if I was going to write the staircase scene #got this in right under the wire before tomorrow becomes all episode 11 stuff #unknown #unknown the series #unknown the series analysis #unknown the series meta #unknown the series episode 10 #chris chiu #kurt huang #taiwanese bl #wka long post

[delusionalwriter02]

heyyyaaaa sooooo

i'm kinda dating the entire bsd main cast except fukuchi, fukuzawa, mori, lemon explosives guy, natsume and the minors.

but anyway, i am OBSESSED with ur insta as ... gf thing like i have not had such a good giggle (to be COMEPLETLY honest i was rolling, kicking, screaming in my pillow, trying to hide my giggles but failing miserably and ma,ing a very ugly face)... but let's not get into that! 😅

so my point is can you pretty please 🥺 do a pt 3 for fedya and pt 2 for kolya?

mainly fyodor tho cuz he's kinda sorta very much my husband 🥰🥰🥰 cuz i'm a s.i.m.p and cuz i said so.

only if wanna that is!

Insta as Fyodor's GF p.3

a/n : DEAR I LOVE YOU ??? you're SO adorable and how can I say no ???? (i'm sure you're BEAUTIFUL), hope you'll like it!! <3

<3 liked by Atsushiii, Fyofyo and 638 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : and if you're still breathing you're the lucky one

Golgot : guess I'm lucky ??

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : you can't appreciate art

↳ Golgot : I appreciate what I understand

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : oooh I understand now

↳ Golgot : what ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : why you're so bitter about everything

↳ Golgot : I'm not bitter ???

↳ Fyofyo : Oh you so are

↳ Atsushiii : agree

↳ Golgot : fuck off Atsushi go annoy someone else

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : @.Akutagawa come get your man

Yosanurgirl : omg babe the photo is SPLENDID

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : I KNOW Sigma is great at thirdwheeling

↳ Yosanurgirl : oh poor man

<3 liked by Sig_ma, Gintonic and 395 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : money, money, money

Yosanurgirl : must be funny

↳ Gintonic : in the rich man worlllllllddddd

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : that's why I love you

↳ Sig_ma : why man ?

↳ Gintonic : it's a song

↳ Sig_ma : Thank you

↳ Gintonic : you're welcome.... I guess

Fyofyo : Anything for you dearest

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : I LOVE you with my WHOLE heart

↳ Fyofyo : Me too angel

↳ Daze_i : sucker

↳ Fyofyo : Jealous ?

↳ Daze_i : I got a whole harem

↳ Fyofyo : Sure

↳ Daze_i : WDYM I DO HAVE AN HAREM

↳ Fyfoyo : Never said otherwise

↳ Chu_uya : Dazai please shut up

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Chuuuuuuuuuyyaaaa are you in this harem ?👀

↳ Chu_uya : NEVER

↳ Daze_i : of course he is

↳ Chu_uya : SHUT UP MORON

<3 liked by Yosanurgirl, Gintonic and 538 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : We're setting fire to our insides for fun @.Yosanurgirl

Daze_i : you're doing what.......?????

↳ Yosanurgirl : it's from a song too idiot

↳ Daze_i : it's about smoking ?

↳ Yosanurgirl : it can

↳ Daze_i : omg stop being so mysterious

↳ Yosanurgirl : i'm not it's up to you

Ranthebestpo : YOSANO YOU BETTER COME AT THE AGENCY RN

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : talk better to my girl

↳ Ranthebestpo : stay out of it

↳ Fyofyo : Watch your mouth

↳ Ranthebestpo : watch yours

↳ Fyofyo : Excuse me ?

↳ Yosanurgirl : OKAY STOP IT RN

<3 liked by Fyofyo, Atsushiii and 738 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : you were riding your bike to the sound of it's no big deal

Gintonic : don't ask me why but i'm in love with this photo, it's calming

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : it's EXACTLY how I felt, no sound, just us

↳ Gintonic : that's the sweetest thing i've heard in a while

↳ Yosanurgirl : @.Fyofyo break up with her, I take over

↳ Fyofyo : In your dreams

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : YOSANO CMON

↳ Yosanurgirl : a wise man said one day "just because there's a keeper doesn't mean you can't score"

↳ Gintonic : gross

↳ Yosanurgirl : *wise

Golgot : Fyodor me too I can take you on ride

↳ Fyofyo : On my dead body

↳ Golgot : FUCK IT EVEN IN DEATH YOU WON'T DATE ME ???

↳ Fyofyo : I swear on everything I care about, I will NEVER date you

↳ Yn_theonenandonly : that's my man

↳ Daze_i : why is everybody trying to date the other

↳ Chu_uya : delusional bitches

↳ Yosanurgirl : i'm gonna fucking kill you

↳ Daze_i : NO I SAID I WILL

<3 liked by Gintonic, Akutagawa and 438 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : my safe place @.Yosanurgirl @.Gintonic @.Fyofyo @.Kyôk_a

Kyôk_a : Thank you it was really fun

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : with pleasure

↳ Atsushiii : Kyôka it's great you're making friends outside the agency

↳ Ranthebestpo : Can't say it's a wise decision but it's your life

↳ Atsushiii : Ranpo please don't

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : wdym

↳ Ranthebestpo : nevermind

↳ Gintonic : better

Fyofyo : We should take Kyôka out more often

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : she's 14 love, I won't be taking her out everywhere

↳ Fyofyo : I know but like at the funfair, the beach, places where childs likes to go

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Are you having a baby fever ?

↳ Fyofyo : Maybe

↳ Yosanurgirl : OMG GIRL WHAT

Hey!!! Hope you liked it ? I'm trying to include Kyôka more because I love the character but she's a child soooooo I'm struggling a bit to write about her but anyway I hope it didn't seems to out of place

with love <3

#fanfic #fanfiction #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungo stray dogs #x reader #request #bungou stray dogs dazai #bsd dazai #fake social media #female reader #bsd fyodor #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #fyodor dostoevsky #bungou stray dogs fyodor #fyodor x reader #fyodor bsd #bsd sigma #bsd nikolai #nikolai gogol #fyodor #bsd yosano #yosano akiko #bungou stray dogs yosano #ranpo #bsd ranpo #kyouka #bungou stray dogs atsushi #atsushi nakajima #bsd atsushi

[jesterjaxx]

Halloween AU lore dump!!!

❗️WARNING❗️

so much infodumping world buidling and headcannons

DJ- Robot

Originally built to be a robo cop type deal. But when given free will refused to hurt anyone and got scrapped

Was found and repurposed by "Momma" to be a son

Really fuckin loves animals. Nature in general but mostly animals.

They get spooked by him a lot though

Hes kinda sad about this but gets it.

Momma is a scraper/engineer and outfitted him with everything a "good human boy" would need, like touch receptors and an ability to taste

Nothing to be done about majorly changing how he looks tho

The ability to feel is a bit too much sometimes

Sometimes all he can feel is cold

Goes to Duncan to see if he can do something about helping communicate to animals that he is a friend. Ala magic.

Machinery and Magic don't mix well typically, you gotta be crazy specific, which isn't really Duncan's styel

Duncan likes DJ tho, and proceeds to steal some of Harolds spellbooks

Side plot of them being wayyyy to hard for him to read, in both way too high level and shitty handwritten chickenscratch that fucks with his dyslexia, so he has to ask Harold for help

Maybe they learn to better understand eachother idk

Maybe they kill eachother

Harold and Duncan team up 6 dead 9 injured every single person is fucking baffled

Anyways DJ is like iron giant up in this bitch

His Momma is kinda worried that one day he'll learn enough mechanics to fix himself up and wont need her anymore

Tyler - Harpy

Ok the chicken fear makes sense now

He gets the uncanny valley feeling looking at chickens

I would too

He would fly into a window

Can he fly?

Hes like a turkey

Or a seagull

Wait im an idiot hes a chicken

Duh

Eva - Gargoyle

Her carver loved buff women thank god almighty for that

Punches like a brick wall

Living Stone

lion paws for feet

Did you guys know sound resonates the best through solids??

Her music listening experience is legit i just know it

Noah - The Blob/ slime monster

Oh god that poor guy

Hes gonna get slime all over his books

Harold - Witch

He's the type of witch to have seperate waters for different kinds of spells

A pretty dorky Witch, even by witch standards

Wears proper witch PPE (robes and hat)

Has his sheldon Big Bang Theory style shirts on underneath tho

Uses incantations and written spells in magical languages mainly

Uses the starlight, paper, ink, historical artifacts and an assortment of magical ingredients as fuels

Has a large collection of quality spellbooks for references

Not those shitty amazon spellbooks that are just a list of pre written spells, these ones were written by some old hag 80 years ago and through flowery rambleing language tell you how write spells yourself. They go into spell syntax.

Harolds books for writing incantations and spells are spiral notebooks

If he uses smbols will typically craft a custom sygil for it

Uses alot of number magic and latin

Uses his confidence in his skills with writing spells to harness magic

Is better at doing spells for other people, when doing spells for himself he tends to overcomplicate things

Actually went to magic camps and magic summer schools

"I was trained for this!" and it's Mostly true

Can make the most specific fucking spell work for him

I cannot stress he is good at this type of casting.

Duncan's way of doing magic pisses him off. Both are convinced their way is better

Harold to Duncan ->"What the fuck do you mean you increased your strength with a posca marker, bare knuckles and a dream. How are you not dead yet >:[ "

He has a lot of respect for magic itself, Duncan's almost disrespectful way of using magic makes him mad.

Whats worse is that it works.

How Harold casts a spell

Writes down a goal -> outlines different methods to achieve it (incantations, scrolls, potions) -> writes out the spelleork with alot of detail accounting for almost every outcome -> it takes very long -> outwardly or inwardly recites writes spell to activate it -> profit

Alejandro - Siren

(I give up with organization here no more bullet points)

Mermaids and Sirens are almost identical, with few overt physical differences

Sirens will typically have colored iris', 2 finned gills, longer tounges, boned ears and uniformly sharp teeth

Mermaids have colored scalera, 3 smooth gills, finned ears and sharp canines

This isn't a rule, and in modern times there are few families of sirens or mermaids that havent mixed with other monsters at some point

Both species have shape-shifting abilities.

Mermaids have two forms, and can switch between them at will, though the process takes hours and the mermaid will have to stay in either aquatic or land form for a couple weeks before changing again. though this wait time can be speed up with tailsmen, it's can cause health problems.

Siren can shift their features at will, including shifting from aquatic to non aquatic with no wait time, some families of Siren encourage "good breeding" and fostering shifting abilities to the point of shifting bone structure, hair, colors and gender at will. This level of shifting controll is a very desirable trait, and cannot be learned.

Alejandro is one of these few families who try to stay purely Siren

Hes a 100% Siren, but unlike his brothers he lacks any shape-shifting abilities, a flaw that has brought him great shame (this is just a genetic fluke, it's like a birth defect)

but he has both a very powerful ability to enchant his words and natural charisma. Dangerous combo.

Because of the well known knowledge that Sirens can manipulate people with ease, Alejandro semi pretends that he is a Mermaid, using his long hair to obscure his gills

He more just lets people assume hes a Mermaid and does not correct them rather than actually lying

He lies about many things but outright lying about species is a bit much

Siren Speech doesn't work as good if someone's also using magic at the same time or knows what's up about it

It doesn't work that great on Heather, Duncan or Harold point blank, or Lindsay, Beth Trent and Justin if they're shifting or shifted

Good thing hes manipulative on his own!

Beth - Mermaid

Yeah sure why not

I don't know enough about Beth yet i need a moot whose obsessed with her

Ezekiel - Ghost

Lmao hes invisible

Poor dude probably gets looked over all the time

Hes just clothes and a transparent person

Justin - Werewolf

The twilight girls would go crazy over him i know it

Cody - Puppet

Oh poor dude

Itll look cool tho

Hed make knock on wood jokes all the time

Trent - Werecat

The trustin girls would go crazy over this i know it

But real like hes chillin

Would use claws as a pick

Geoff - Frankenstein

A man of the people

Literally

Looses limbs easily

Wakes up after a party like "wheres my leg lmao"

Heather - Zombie

Oh this is good

Shes vegan

Would insult people like "i can tell you have a brain why the hell don't you use it"

Very concerned over phsyical appearance

Uses so so many products

Pretty alive looking for a zombie cuz of it

It's kinda creepy

Her eyes got no eyeshine tho

Like a shark.

Gwen - Skeleton/Ghost

Ok this was an accidental double Gwen got both Skeleton and ghost

Since Ezekiel is already a ghost i'm Gonna lean into the Skeleton bit more but throw a transparent silhouette over all of her for the ghost bit

Ghost vs Zombie rivalry

She'd do all sorts of cool drawings and markings on her bones

Gwen, drawing a bat on her femur with sharpie: tattoo moment

Her eyeliner is also sharpie

Who the fuck cares about skincare when you don't have skin

Lindsay: you shouldn't put permanent marker on your face! It can hurt you 🥺

Gwen, floating bones:

LeShawna - Chimera

YES I LOVE MONSTER COMBOS

LIKE COMBINATIONS OF MULTIPLE ANIMALS

lets do classic chimera but with one head

Lean into the Lioness bit cuz Leshawna is a boss bitch and Lionesses are so fucking cool

I might give her a scorpion tail

Duncan - Witch

Another double whoops lol

He's a "fuck it we ball" typa witch

lmao he and Harold are beefing like crazy i know it Harold has 12 spellbooks hes memorized with their specific ways of casting and Duncan is writing runes on his knuckles with sharpie

Duncan to Harold ->"Why are you using 2 pages of latin for a fire spell??"

"Because i need only this bit of wood to light on fire a little bit and nothing else and if i dont i could loose control of it or blow it up or it might not even start"

*stares in did finger guns at a branch and cremated it for fun*

Harold to Duncan ->"Why are you writing runes on your nailpolish??"

"i'm tired of being the only scary bitch here without claws"

*stares in once accidentally rubbed spell notes off of his spellbook and onto his face while passed out on his desk and gave himself acid burns for 3 weeks"

They go crazy they go stupid

Hes self taught

The Duncan and Harold bullying arc turned Street smart vs actually Smart but make it witches

Mostly just picking shit up as he goes

"Stole" (it was free) a pamphlet on different types of magical symbols and has managed to make the symbols illustrated in it work for almost every spell he wants

Fueled by raw unrelenting audacity

Real lore tho- magic is created with belief and harnessed with confidence, you can either go the intellectual route and control every variable and have trust in your control of those variables to harness the magic like Harold, or like Duncan, have enough semi-unearned confidence in yourself to harness magic with little need for more than a few variables.

Basically as a general rule, it has as much meaning as you truthfully believe it does

Doesn't explain what hes casting or how hes doing it

"Where'd you learn how to do that?"

"what are you a cop?"

(learned from illustrations, word of mouth, and other witches on the street)

Has a couple stick n poke magical symbols, several other scribbled on symbols that are temporary

Biggest one is a glyph for fire on his hand, he doens most of his spells using it

Has burns around his glyph tattoos from spells backfiring cuz he got distracted

Uses sharpies, spraypaint, eyeliner and the insides of firecrackers for drawing symbols

If he needs a magical material he'll typically substitute whatever he has on him, belief goes a long way.

"Pure Holy Silver?... this earring looks silver enough

This doesn't work for potions cuz potions are only a little left to normal chemistry.

Has alot of talisman he wears

Carries extra ingredients on him ala accessories cuz fuck it it looks cool

Mains his spells with symbols, uses potions or material fuels if he cant make a good connection between what he wants and one of 10 symbols he remembers at any given time

Uses moonlight, bones, rocks, and personal artifacts as fuels

How duncan casts a spell

Draws glyph -> creates a mental connection between what the glyph means and what he wants to do (this is mostly subconscious with Duncan he doenst know what hes doing he just knows he does it well)-> activates glyph physically (ie hitting, tapping, lighting, punching, tracing with finger)

Example: draws fire glyph on Chris's camper -> wants to set it on fire but not the surrounding grass and trees -> smacks the side of the camper that has the glyph on it -> profit

Duncan, to Harold: You make magic math, i make magic my bitch

Bridgette - Alien

Aww she could be so cute

Surfer girl from planet nine

Owen - Plant Monster

This could visually look really cool

Big carnivorous plant

Izzy - Angel

kaleidoscope = biblically accurate form, cuz she "Looks like a kaleidoscope! Duh!"

Lindsay - Selkie

If you steal her coat ill fucking kill you

Sadie - Vampire

Ough thats cute

I'm Gonna make her pigtails batwings

Katie - Zombie

undead girlfriends

Sadie thinks Katie is so pretty it doesn't matter her eye just fell out

Courtney - Demon

Oh this bitch looooves contracts

Is also upset about Duncan but she just doesn't like witches in general

Whats the point of making deals with humans for magical powers of some humans give themselves magical powers

Demon of what?? Pride maybe?? Or envy??

Shes a sweetheart tho

#ok thats all i got #im gonna make a separate post just for Harold and Duncan cuz i outlined a whole magic system for them #The DJ and Duncan sideplot go crazy #Duncan: is it weird to think a robots hot #Gwen: 💀 (shes bones) #jester jabbers #Halloween AU #total drama au #total drama #djuncan #duncan total drama #tdi #dj total drama #gwen total drama #heather total drama #total drama leshawna #harold total drama #geoff total drama #bridgette total drama #lindsay total drama #beth total drama #noah total drama #cody total drama #justin total drama #trent total drama #izzy total drama #eva total drama #td ezekiel #owen total drama #alejandro total drama

[rpfisfine]

im

literally the maddest ive ever been in my entire life i just got bullied on the bus by these 5 loud as fuck cocky teenage cunts who kept opening the window right above my fucking head and spraying passing cars with a water bottle no matter how many times i slammed it shut and told them to stop and then when i finally turned around and said could you please stop i'm literally just trying to get home in peace this one fucking loser asked "ummmm why" so i was like "because it's annoying and everybody would tell you the same thing" and he was like "well if you don't like it you can always leave, there's the door" and i was so genuinely shell-shocked and speechless at the audacity plus i already have a stutter and always get so unbelievably angry during these kinds of interactions that it's literally like life-threatening to me almost so i couldn't even comprehend what he had just said to me but i did manage to humiliate him by being like "how old are you?" (no answer) "how old are you?" (no answer) "fifteen?" and he literally was too visibly embarrassed to say anything and wouldn't give me any other number he just made fun of how "adult" i was but in my stressed out fucking state i kind of forgot to tell him that i literally am an adult bc i didn't want to just compare ages like some kind of cringe idiot so they might live with the assumption that i was either the same age as them or ever so slightly older than them for the rest of their lives bc i do look 16 at most irl which i'm trying to come to terms with currently but anyway i literally just kept my focus on this one asshole right behind me and confronted him in genuinely the most firm but polite manner i could and then immediately as soon as i turn back around the guy sitting next to him goes "uhhhhhh i couldn't understand One single word she said so it's time to continue boys 🤪" and then they started laughing at me + screaming 10 times louder than before + blowing raspberries at me like fucking 3 year olds so i waited for the next stop then got up and sat beside someone else even though i was so happy to get a window seat for the first time in legitimate months and im still so unimaginably fucking angry abt the whole thing i know it doesn't seem like that big of a deal but when ppl make fun of the way i speak or mock me or say they can't understand me it literally makes me want to claw their eyes out and on top of everything else that had happened during the interaction it was just slightly too much for me to handle i didn't want to stoop to their level by cursing them out or being legitimately mean even though they deserved it but i regret not telling them to die as i was walking past them i hope a horrible horrible future awaits their loser hypebeast bully friendgroup i hope they never get girlfriends or accepted into college and i hope someone with less patience than me beats them up for their behavior one day

#this sounds extreme but i speak from experience when i say that nothing in the world is more pathetic or evil to me than teenage boys #mp

[clone-bar-79s]

Okay. So the bad batch teaser is out and many fans have rightfully called out star wars out on the clones still being whitewashed. In response to this outcry, the bad batch stans have called out these angered fans for being overdramatic, stupid and theatrical, all over a cartoon. And while poc don't have a responsibility to teach you just how a cartoon can have an impact on us, I want to give it a try from my perspective. Its a bit long but try would you?

So, I'm brown, desi, and darker than most desis so I've basically been identified as the unfortunate child who didn't end up with the right genes in the family. Desi culture is obsessed with white skin, no surprise keeping in mind the British's involvement, but that's not the point. As a child, I really pissed off my parents for not bleaching my skin regularly and not washing my face ten times a day because by then, I considered any form of skin care as an evil. I hated that I had to do it all to get whiter and so I rebelled against any form of skin care. I hated all the damned whitening creams that were meant to make me beautiful because while it wasn't being stated explicitly, I was ugly for being darker.

In the 90s and 2000s, Desi movies from Pakistan and India showcased darker actresses as the ugly girl in the movie. The one who wanted the guy but wouldn't get him. The one who was pining for a guy who was however pining for the pretty white desi girl. And even if the dark girl somehow did end up winning the heart of the hero, it wasn't because he thought she was beautiful... it was because she had a great personality or was kind or whatever. But despite everything, watching Rani Mukherjee on screen, who I saw myself in, made me feel all sorts of giddy. When she did get the guy and he did tell her he loved her and she did get the happy ending, I believed it was possible for me too, despite being told by every passing aunt and uncle that I'd have a hard time getting a guy, if at all. Rani Mukherjee's presence on screen gave me hope because it told me that I could exist in this fucked up world and expect some form of happiness.

This sole example kept me going for a very long while. I'm not saying it helped me forget everything that had been engrained into my head for the first thirteen years of my life. It didn't make me rethink everything or made me more confident in my own skin. It didn't make me embrace my color, or my features, or my nose or my darker lips. But I knew I didn't have to be ashamed of the way I looked. And that there was more beauty in this world than the Eurocentric beauty I had been forced to accept as the only beauty since I was born . Seeing someone who looked like me has made a difference! This one person's presence on screen helped!

So, for those of you who are screaming out louder than the fans who are very rightfully angered by the whitewashing of the bad batch, you need to stop for a second. If you're white, you've never even had to think about this! That is because every actor in Star Wars looks like you! Bar some aliens and mace windu, the multitude of characters in star wars are white. The greatest jedis, the greatest villains, every skywalker, Kenobi, Rey, Ben Solo, Han, Padme and any other major character you can think of. You don't have to worry about how it feels to not be seen. You've been shown again and again that every princess looks like you and every actress resembles you and every hero has your face!

Polynesians were given a singular chance to see themselves in Star Wars as the clones who were modeled off a polynesian actor. This amazing role that showed us that people of all colors and races do exist! How hard is it to put yourself in our shoes, and empathize for one second, just how awful it feels to see that sole role snatched away ? That out of the millions of stories to tell about the clones, star wars chose to focus on the white versions of the clones. That they actually informed the fans, and proudly might I add, that they chose to model the clones off of white actors? That they went ahead and decided that for some reason it was okay that Tech have a British accent (???). Why is it so hard to understand that its absolutely horrible to see the one role offered to a colored guy, be transformed into a white man who, lets not forget, are supposed to be a new and improved version of the OG clones. And that the only one who most accurately resembles the clones, was made the bumbling brute of the group. And that the young girl who was a copy of Jango is not only blonde, but whiter than any clone ever seen on screens.

Can't you pull yourselves out from your own bubbles for just one second to understand the point of view of those against the bad batch? When they're telling you that the franchise's decision to whitewash one of the few colored characters is hurting them, cant you see why? That when an author tells us it was too hard to bother finding out how polynesian hair works, cant you see why the outrage makes sense? Every decision that star wars makes has an effect on the fans and its absurd for you to negate the impact that media has on all our lives.

#well... this is personal but idk man i think its so obvious why were angry and its so weird to see others say we have no right to be #like theres abolutely nothing in star wars for colored fans except a few examples and you wnat to take that away too? #and offer us nothing but poc as unredeemable villains now? #how can it go over tbb stans heads??? #hoooooooooowwwwwwwww? #unwhitewashtbb #the bad batch #the fact that i have seen multiple people argue with me instead of understand my point and tell me its not that big a deal #and that how they as poc still enjoy these shows because tehy dont care? #FINE! DONT CARE! I DO! #But to be spoken over and told to shutup because we are making a big deal out of somehting is just fucked up

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

i want to compile a list of horror media that people need to watch before they call genloss groundbreaking incredible material. like yall are soooo so deeply entrenched in copium toting this thing around like its the best piece of horror media in the world when like. theres no horror. there has literally been no horror. how are we watching the same thing. go watch gemini home entertainment or marble hornets or daisy brown or unedited footage of a bear or this house has people in it and then come back to me. dont fucking talk to me until youve consumed some horror media thats actually good first!!!!!!!!

#sorry i KNOW i said i wouldnt genloss post too much but it just makes me so fucking angry #as a very very very long term horror enthusiast and aspiring horror creator #i feel fucking insulted every time i see genloss being listed as something incredible . when. #theres no horror or comedy in your horror comedy that was originally advertised for two goddamn years as an arg n then analog horror and th #like. pick a theme. give me literally anything. its so bad. im so angry. and i DONT get angry at media. #i actively try not to grt angry at media and legitimately havent since veryyyy early middle school. #so the fsct that this thing is making me so mad is a huge deal. #anyone who has known me for any number of years knows like. i dont get mad about shit!!! #especiallt shit that doesnt rlly matter like fictional media!!! i dont like to expend the energy on that!!! #so when i say genloss makes me so angry to the point where i was literally #sweaty and out of breath after aster and i got off the phone talking abt it the other day #i need you to understand i am not a hater #like #ughgrrghrggghghh #go fucking watch saw (2004) youll have a much better time than watching whatever bs this is #ranboo makes this big long post about how his project is better than aevery other horror short film #and doesnt deserve to be put on a shelf with the rest of them as if theyre beneath his genius vision #and then gives us this cheap heartless garbage that isnt even unique in its badness. #hes just using ideas from other things but doing it worse!!!!!! theres nothing new!!! theres nothing unique!!! #two years of promotional content and like 5 hours of livestreams and they have not given me a single #character or story beat that is interesting enouhj to care about. you cant have horror without first #giving your audience something to care about and then snatching that thing away from them. urhhggghghghgh #reaction time #genloss neg #genloss crit #sorry. im trying to keep the hater posting to a minimum but im so. exhausted

[musical-chick-13]

I did NOT spend five fucking years breaking my back and my brain getting a degree in this for people to say that musical theatre is corny and useless and inherently shameful.

#YOU get through a two-show day with 9 intensive dance numbers!! YOU learn a sondheim score!!!! YOU sing an emotionally intense song that #hits a little too hard without crying onstage!!!!!!!!! YOU do all the work of singing a song in a strange style in a consistently healthy #way that doesn't ruin your voice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #YOU do the vocal stamina exercises and sit in a practice room for 50 minutes each day going over the same phrase to figure out #how it sits in your voice without losing your sanity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP #In the Vents #oh I am BITTER today my friends #it is a BAD chronic illness day #do not MAKE me pull out my 10 minute stephen schwartz presentation do not MAKE me scream about the instrumentation in #the deathnote stage musical do not MAKE me live-stream a practice session of trying to learn how to sing 'stupid with love' without #sounding like a dying rabid animal #NOBODY WANTS ANY OF THAT BUT I WILL DO IT IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND™ #WATCH RAGS! WATCH LIGHT IN THE PIAZZA! WATCH PASSION! WATCH PARADE! WATCH THE COLOR PURPLE! IF YOU'RE /SO/ INSISTENT THAT EVERY WORK HAS TO #DEAL WITH BIG SOCIAL/PERSONAL ISSUES IN A COMPLETELY REALISTICALLY SERIOUS WAY TO BE WORTHY OF ATTENTION #SOMETHING DOESN'T HAVE TO BE GRITTY AND JOYLESS AND GRIM TO HAVE ANYTHING MEANINGFUL TO SAY ABOUT THOSE ISSUES #WICKED HAS THEMES OF OPPRESSION THAT ARE ARTICULATED MORE ORGANICALLY THAN A LOT OF '''''SERIOUS''''' WORKS BUT NOBODY WANTS ME TO TALK #ABOUT THAT

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

MY MUM JUST BOUGHT ME AND HER TICKETS TO SEE SIX?? UNPROMPTED???? SHE IS THE MOST CONFUSING WOMAN ALIVE??????? BUT YAAAAAYYYY

#she hates me but also doesnt but also does but not quite but does but doesnt but #see i have a worse relationship with my father but its so much easier because hes just an absolute bastard all round #my mothers flip flopping every day calling me an ungrateful waste of money one minute then buying me six tickets the next like?? #what am i meant to do about that??? #anywayz SIX TICKETS WOO FUCKING LOVE SIX #I WAS MEANT TO SEE IT RIGHT BEFORE COVID HIT AND I JUST HAVENT COME ACROSS IT SINCE #SHE SAW IT AND JUST BOOKED THE TICKETS FOR NEXT YEAR IM LIKE SO EXCITED #fr though why is she being so nice to be its kind of frightening #i think its because i had that breakdown in front of her before #she hasnt told me to get a job since then either #you guys dont understand how big of a deal that is #she always finds a way to tell me to get a job #anywayz everyone thank my mum for being a great mum <3 #for the moment as least #dont want to jinx it #maybe marrying my step dad last month changed her psychologically #omg maybe shes started therapy #am a little afraid because im in the process of starting testosterone (yay!) but havent told her and i should be on it by december so uh #its gonna be obvious by the time we go to see it #so im *scared* #she may very well take the tickets away but LETS HOPE NOT #im so sorry ive written an essay in the tags lmfao #mummy issues #mummy issues going wild fr

[running-in-the-dark]

it's actually evil that you need to have a (newer) smartphone and an app to confirm the transaction every time you want to transfer money

for many, many reasons, but mostly because it's one more thing I need to keep figuring out for my mother and I don't want to!

#first I had to add her account to my app and deal with that for six months because her phone was too old for the app #then I gave her my phone when I got a new one (the fact that she needed one for that was a big factor in me buying a new one) #and had to set all of that up. #and now. she keeps having problems with it!! and she doesn't understand my instructions on the phone!! so I have to drive over there to fix #whatever she did #which right now only takes 30 minutes if I'm lucky (depends on how annoying she wants to be that day) #but once we move it'll be an hour of driving alone. plus the time I'll have to spend at her place. #so yeah I'm pissed off about it #the TAN generator things that you put your bank card in worked perfectly fine but noooo everyone has a smartphone right 🙄🙄🙄 #fucking hate that shit #especially since the tiny branch of her bank in her village closed a few years ago. so yeah either you have a smartphone and someone to help #you set that up and solve any issues. or you have a car to drive to the nearest bank and do it that way. #this sucks #personal

[bloodsbane]

anyways my toxic trait is that i get mad at people who don't have the same level of media literacy as me

#banebabbles #this applies mainly to cartoons and video games #AND I KNOW WHAT YOURE THINKING. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING #bane it's not that hard to understand a cartoon? #well you would simply be surprised #for example ive had a lot of fun watching this guy's SU reaction series #however soemtimes it's like. so obvious that he hasn't watched a lot of cartoons #or even just like. idk. idk!! it's mean and wrong to make harsh assumptions lol #but he's out here in SUF like 'i just don't get what the big deal is why is steven like soooo upset' #and im like BRO COME ON. HE ///SPELLS IT OUT/// #he has a fucking multi-episode downward spiral how do you not Get WHY he's upset #and thinks so harshly of himself #grabbing him and shaking him #anyways it's literally fine it doesn't matter once again this is my Toxic Trait #i also yell at LPers for not playing video games the right way immediately

[giulolosblackmail]

i wanna vent about orens which means i’m angry about hh so like to start off you have to understand that helix waltz is a refurbished and genre transported helix horizon which was a money grubbing jrpg themed fantasy gatcha cn rpg that happened to be headed by this one guy (Mingjing Yoshikawa) who thought having an actual story would make everything better, and he was right! to an extent! helix horizon did do well enough to get a sequel game, but god was the world building and premise covered up by so much horny fanservice that it was hard to take anything seriously

but how does that relate to orens? i’m so glad you asked! you see, orens were created in the world of helix horizon mostly to check off a bunch of older-than-they-look catgirl boxes to fill more niche kinks for the gatcha pool, and you can see this in other characters in HW too (florna hitting the weirdly prevalent busty blonde nun with glasses and anxiety template), which is why orens are largely stupid, child-like, cutesy characters with cutesy names and manner of speech that all have one defining characteristic, because that is the result of churning out gatcha characters, and while HW did a pretty good job patching over HH to make a functional character driven visual novel/dress up game, they never really took orens seriously enough to make them people

i know that orens do get their own political faction in s2 and there’s moves to give them full citizenship, but it is very much an “in spite of everything” kind of move, like the writers for the game are giving orens rights because it is bad to not take the side of characters they wrote as oppressed minorities, instead of because they’ve shown that orens are people that deserve rights

let me explain, in-game orens are described as humanoid orcs, so we can infer that orens are closer to a type of fantasy monster (not people) than fantasy race (people), but they look and act humanoid enough to coexist with other humanoid races like elves and demons, this means we should expect a lowered intelligence and animal-like instincts/characteristics (ie cat orens napping a lot and fox orens being crafty), but on top of that, orens are also glaringly child-like, which i assume is a holdover from the older-than-they-look-loli trope, the most egregious example of which is motiti

i want to like motiti, i really do, but she is literally the poster child for every negative oren stereotype and the story practically bends around her to allow her to exist in-universe, which is insane because she was created just for helix waltz, every other oren that we’ve met has been a fully grown adult regardless of their cutesy appearance, all of them have adult jobs and responsibilities and get mad about being infantilized by others, so we can assume motiti is an adult, she is never treated like a child by the other orens (not even brala - who immediately tried to take care of nyx (16ish teen) - treats motiti like a child), it’s just magda who does this (magda is canonically bigoted in that she treats all oren like they’re children even after helena called her out on making light of brala’s blatantly romantic/sexual crush on her because she never saw him as an adult), and we have no in-universe explanation for why she’s so fucking stupid, her one goal in life is to wear cute maid dresses. she doesn’t... she doesn’t even want to be a maid... I... she’s not even interested in maid dresses in general, just- she just wears them without knowing anything about fashion or quality or modeling or makeup just-

another great example of infantalizing orens is bacon day, bacon day is an oren holiday where pieces of bacon are tied to trees and roofs with long pieces of string so that they dangle around, enticing orens to pounce on them, in-game giulolo was the only oren that had a problem with this because she thought it was undignified, we later find out that she thought it was undignified for a very childish reason and participates in bacon day happily after replacing bacon on strings with books on strings, i think it really just pisses me off so much because they could have actually taken a stance on how orens perceive themselves and deal with the prejudice they face and how giulolo, who meets a lot of rich merchants and nobles through her job, might have taken issue with an oren tradition that feeds into the perception of orens being no better than dumb animals, it’s just this kind of pervasive attitude of the writers never allowing oren characters to actually be sapient enough to comment on their own circumstance that undermines the entire narrative of orens being oppressed peoples and not just animals who can talk, none of them have the capacity to talk about all the horrific murders committed in broad daylight by humans because orens have no protection under the law, this also happens to elves as well, none of the elf characters will give a solid answer on why they’re so ok with being enslaved to humans despite being intellectually, physically, and magically more developed, the two times an elf suggests that they’re unhappy with their situation get quickly resolved without actually changing anything, and i will forever be mad that nala wasn’t chosen when HH was turned into HW (nala was a bavlenka elf that raged against the prejudice she experienced by physically beating the shit out of anybody that said anything racist about elves in her vicinity, she is blatantly unhappy with the way things are and says so)

bUt It’S a DrEsS uP gAmE, why are you expecting nuanced social criticism from an app where you pay 25 dollars to get a pretty jpg that makes the plot progress, shhhhhhhh, i’m just in love with what could have been

#rant #i understand that motiti is the useless cute mascot character but bru did they have to do her so dirty #like look i can characterize her better #she's a teenage oren who moved to the big human city because she fell in love with the concept of maids #so by sheer fucking luck she got a job as a maid but she fucking sucks at it because she's still growing and has severe dyslexia #severe dyslexia can make you mix up directions and mess with your sense of balance making you very clumsy #which also keeps her illiterate and severely limits her ability to adapt to life in finsel #despite this and how nobody actually tries to help her because most of the staff and everybody in charge of her are all racist and actively #sabatoging her so that she'll get fired and they won't have to deal with her anymore #her goal is to become the best maid ever #not just wear the fucking dress #which means learning all the intricacies of unspoken human social rules and how to tell quality from expensive trash #she idolizes lucilia as the most competent maid in finsel #and chases her around trying to learn from the master and begging lucilia to take her on as an apprentice #which does double work in giving lucilia more screen time outside of her relationship with florna #there was that so fucking hard

[abyssalpriest]

if i disappear after saying that ive been assassinated no jokes aside if i take that down its not bc i disagree with it, you can still pin it on me as a belief that i think that shit should be said and ill put my whole ass behind it, but saying shit like that has consequences lmfao. also theres a time and a place to bring that up

#ive already. dealt. with enough fucking propagandising royal family members on my fucking ASS this lifetime to last. the rest of #this universe's incarnation. sometimes its better to not get involved which i KNOW is a big part of why the propaganda is rampant #among people who work with ''demons'' but like. no. no race is more superior than other races. hot take i know sorry #ramblings // #honestly tho. im so sick of dealing with the topics of ascending and (''demon'') racial supremacy and fighting jxdaism under the guise #of ''we hate chrxstians tho and thats good!'' bc ''(JEWISH NAME FOR GOD????) is a horrible person he wiped out half his angels!!!!'' #listen i do not care how uncomfortable you are w your species' and peoples' histories you are. leave innocent fucking people and their #concept of the Creator that you dont even understand alone. whats the point in pride in your people if youre only proud of how #your people are Better than another set of people. like. bruh. are you proud of being a (demon) or are you so insecure your only source of #literally describing said propagandising family members lord almighty im gonna stop myself there. #WOW. I DSFJKHDFH. IVE NEVERRRRR SUDDENLY GOTTEN THE URGE TO TALK SHIT ABOUT WAR /AND/ SPILL THINGS PEOPLE #WANT SECRET /AND/ TALK SHIT ABOUT TWISTING KNOWLEDGE TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK GOOD /AND/ HAD IT DEVOLVE INTO #''even tho im (practically) hindu jxdaism is too fucking important to my family for me to not have OPINIONS about shit'' BEFORE HMM #WEIRD WEIRD unincarnated selves just fucking going AT it. i mean. spilling opinions. cant say they havent gone at it in other #ways too wow no wonder Ardhanarishvara (God as half man half woman) and Shiva and Shakti are super important to me - #NO WONDER THIS CAME AFTER TALKING ABOUT CONSCIOUSNESS AND MIND WHO I SEE AS SHIVA AND SHAKTI #anyway the first post had nothing to do w jxdaism and this topic itself has nothing to do w it i just finally had it click why Certain Peop #calling the things the kings they worship did atrocities of (name) was bothering me SO much. i mean i knew why the rest of it was bothering #me - i mean the NAME bit clicked

[caffeinatedopossum]

Not triggering just personal

I really need to vent about being asexual and sex repulsed but I feel like no one will understand and I get how a lot of the things I think will sound but I really just need to for once get these thoughts off my chest without having them being morally appraised because they *aren't* my morals, they're just things I can't change.

And I don't want people to TRY to change it either! Or to try to figure what ~hOrRiBle trAuMas~ could have possibly made me "this way". It's not that I think there's nothing wrong with me, it's just that this thing needs to stay neutral to me if I ever expect to actually understand it. I want people to stop morally appraising and physcoanalyzing my sexuality through the lense of inherent trauma!!

I just want to talk about this without feeling like I need to put a disclaimer before every sentence, explaining why I feel the way that I feel. I don't know ok! I don't know why I feel the way that I feel sometimes. I'm just doing my best and I wish more people would understand that. Maybe you don't get an explanation because this is my identity and doesn't need to be justified. I just want to understand myself.

#anyway that felt good #i hope this helps you guys understand in case i ever post some of the thoughts i was referring to here #i hope this helps you guys understand how big of a deal my asexuality actually is #its not just passively accepted #i have quite literally had to mask my asexuality MORE than my autism #i want to talk more about this but anytime i do at least one person is always there #suggesting im only asexual because of trauma or asking me what the fuck im talking about because i said something about being sex repulsed #or saying 'i used to be asexual too' -_- please just dont say this to me #im trying so hard to be a good person even when my deepest instincts go against some of my morals #i dont know if i can ever change those things either #i dont know whats worse #the idea that i need to be fixed somehow to better fit mine and everyone elses idea of a better and more likeable person #or the thought that this disgust is inherent to who i am and can never be changed #it hurts so much you dont understand #it hurts so much to think that rationally its good to accept people expressing their sexualities in healthy ways #but to be consumed by this contradictory instinct that make me recoil in disgust from even the people i love #it hurts and i just need someone to acknowledge that and that im trying and that it is difficult #and maybe even that its not my fault... though idk if id really go so far as to believe that #i wish i could've chosen to be anyone else sometimes