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lazylittledragon · 1 month

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what do you mean youre technically a detransitioner cause of terf bullshit?

it's a v long story but i detransitioned for a couple of years when i was 16/17, for multiple reasons but mostly because i fell into the blaire white/kalvin garrah chamber of "you have to be This way to be trans otherwise you're not real".

i was already Deeply insecure about myself and my 'passing' and i was led to believe that i couldn't want to wear makeup or skirts, and i couldn't choose not to have bottom surgery, and i couldn't do anything but bind for 12+ hours a day to the point that my ribcage is still misshapen. basically i thought that if i wasn't suffering enough doing 'feminine' things, i couldn't really be trans, so i should just go back to being a girl and suck it up.

the terf bullshit is because i'd seen a lot of terfs/detransitioners talking about the 'dangers' of testosterone and how it would turn me into a horrible ugly evil monster and how there was nothing worse than wanting to be a man. which combined with 'you need to fully medically transition to be valid at all' creates some very dangerous and upsetting feelings to cope with.

it also came from trying really hard to put myself in a little box before i realised that my sexuality/gender are very fluid and it's FINE for me not to have a label and just do whatever i want. when i was 19 or so i went back to using they/them (and eventually he/him) and changed my name again because even though i like doing 'feminine' things, i don't want to be seen as a woman.

tldr: i was conditioned by transphobic/terf rhetorics to think that i was being trans the 'wrong' way so i couldn't be trans at all, so i believed i must actually be a girl if i still wanted to do 'feminine' things. nowadays i am a transmasc who does feminine things because i don't give two shits about what any transmed prick thinks of me anymore.

#ramble #ok to reblog btw i'm fine with this being shared #this was meant to be a short version but this is just the whole story whoops #sorry i realised the way i phrased it sounded like i'm the detrans you see in the news #i'm Technically a detransitioner because a lot of detrans stats are people who go on to RETRANSITION #because detransition is often because of social stigma and not because you realised you weren't trans #so anyway. terfs are cancer and if you don't think their bs is harming children you're wrong #i know it's easy to say 'you should've used your brain and realised those people were wrong'#but like. when you're 16 you're SO impressionable. even if you think you aren't #especially when you're watching people who have been transitioning longer than you and you assume they know everything #i was in my mid-late teens when 'transtrender' videos were MASSIVE and i believed it!!! and i was Not nice about those people #all they made me believe was that being trans couldn't be colourful and comfy and fun. it just had to be Pain #i hope everyone who contributed to the 'you need to be this way to be trans' mindset knows how much hurt they've caused #nowadays i don't care. go and be stargender. we have actual problems to deal with not debates about neopronouns #anyway this was long. that's the story

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originalartblog · 6 months

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Remember when I pitched the concept of Chuuya developing a fear of lightning/electricity after the events of Storm Bringer and the Dragon's Head Conflict?

Thunder doesn't bother him, he deals with loud noises on the daily. No, it's the lightning itself that gets to him.

So obviously the solution is to close his eyes and wait for the storm to pass while berating himself because he should be better than this.

#t'was supposed to be a sketch/doodle what happened #fun fact: the previous post i made was too vague in being fanart so i have a whole branch of random blogs-#-aesthetic blogs and random users- reblogging it because they too enjoy watching the thunderstorm pass!!#sorry i made you reblog a funny little anime guy #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #bsd chuuya #bsd nakahara chuuya #nawy's art #and surprising no one it's a different rendering style AGAIN #the window in photobash + filters I did not want to spent time on that side #btw if that headcanon inpires/d you or if you share it i need the link sent to me don't leave me hanging alone in my corner

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lambentplume · 9 months

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Maui Fires & How to Support Relief Efforts

(Posted on 8/10/23) Hi, I'm Jae and my family is from Lāhainā. I watched my hometown burn down this week. The fires caused immeasurable loss in my community so I'd like to spread awareness of the situation as well as provide links to support local organizations directly assisting survivors. I'm pretty sure most of my following is Not local so I'm writing with intent to inform people outside the situation, but if you're reading this and happen to have family in the affected area that isn't accounted for, message me and I can send you the links to the missing persons tracking docs + more localized info!! If you'd like to skip down to how to help and follow community organizations, scroll to the bottom of the post after the image.

Earlier this week, Hurricane Dora passed south of the Hawaiian Islands, bringing strong wind gusts that caused property damage across the islands. On Tuesday August 8, high winds caused sparks to fly in the middle of Lāhainā town, knocking out power lines and immediately igniting drought-ridden grasses. The fire spread quickly and destroyed the entire center of town, the harbor, and multiple neighborhoods including Hawaiian Homes (housing specifically for Native Hawaiians), parts of Lahainaluna, basically all of Front Street, and low-income housing units. There is only one public road in and out of town, and after a very hectic evacuation period that road has been mostly closed off except to emergency responders, thus it is extremely difficult for anyone to leave town to get help. The nearest hospital is 20 miles away in Wailuku, and most grocery stores in town have burnt down.

As of Thursday, August 10, over 1,000 acres have been burned and 271 structures (including homes, schools, and other community gathering places) have been destroyed. Cell service is still extremely spotty, many of the surrounding neighborhoods deemed safe for evacuees are still without utilities. There are currently confirmed 53 deaths but that number is expected to increase as search-and-rescue efforts continue. Countless families have been displaced and many have lost the homes they lived in for generations. Places of deep historical significance have been reduced to ash, including the gravesites of Hawaiian royalty, the old Lāhainā courthouse where items of cultural significance were stored, and Na ‘Aikane o Maui Cultural Center. To add further context: Lāhainā has a population of about 13,000 residents. EVERYONE I know has been impacted in some way--at best forced to evacuate, at worst their house was burnt to the foundation, they cannot find a loved one, etc. I'm still trying to track down family members and it's been over two days. My neighbors down the street had homes last week and now many don't have ANYTHING. The hotels are taking in residents (tourists are also being STRONGLY urged to leave so that locals can recover). Without open access to the rest of the island, Lāhainā residents are now dependent on whatever people had in their homes already as well as disaster relief efforts coming in, but it's been difficult to organize and mobilize due to the location + conditions. People who have made it out are in shelters where no blankets or medicine were provided. Friends and acquaintances from neighbor islands are preparing aid to send over. Community response has been incredible, but the toll on the town has been immeasurable. My parents were desperately walking through town yesterday, my mom sounded absolutely hollow talking about it on the phone with me. It's horrifying. Below is a satellite map with data from the NASA Fire Information for Resource Management System showing the impacted areas from the past week; all of the red blotches were on fire at some point in the last three days.

Here are ways you can help:

If you have the means to donate:

Here are three donation sites verified by Maui Rapid Response, which also lists FAQs for people who are wondering about next steps.

Hawaiʻi Community Foundation - Maui Strong Fund accepts international credit cards. Maui United Way

Maui Mutual Aid Non-monetary ways to support:

If you know anyone who is planning to travel to ANY Hawaiian island, not just Maui, tell them to cancel their trip. Resources are extremely limited as is. Advocate for climate change mitigation efforts locally, wherever that is for you. The fire was exacerbated by drought conditions that have worsened due to climate change.

Lastly, remember that these are people's HOMES that burned, and Native Hawaiian cultural artifacts that have been lost. Stop thinking of Hawaiʻi (or any "tourist destination" location, really) as an "escape" or a "paradise." If that's the only way you recognized my home... I'm glad I got your attention somehow, but I would ask that you challenge that perspective and prioritize local and native voices. For transparency, I don't currently live in Lāhainā, I've been following efforts from Honolulu. My parents and brother have been updating me and I've been following friends and family who are doing immediate response work. I'm doing my best to find reliable and current sources, but if I need to update something, please let me know. If you're going to try to convince me that tourism is necessary for our recovery, news flash ***IT'S NOT***!

Thanks for reading.

#please feel free to reblog! i don't know how tagging works here anymore!#maui fires #officially reported death count increased WHILE I WAS WRITING THE POST btw. this is bonkers.#if you want to start tourism discourse in my inbox you have to donate the cost of a plane ticket and send a screenshot to me #i have sources at the ready btw. i'd say don't try me but i mean my hometown could use a couple hundred bucks!!

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triaelf9 · 10 months

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Running a little cross platform test on reach vs platform with some WIP art from a little #TearsOfTheKingdom something that I'm working on for an eye-catch ^_-

If you follow me and see this post, please reblog

If you don't follow me & see it, please like

#Totk #Totk Link #fanart #inks #WIP #comic WIP #just wanna see what's going on with reach and then I will report back on each platform the outcome #Basically I wanna compare sites for ppl who don't post at prime time #b/c they live elsewhere or something #and for not small to med artists who don't have the reach that the bigger folks do #I'm comparing Bluesky Twitter Tumblr Instagram Threads and Hive Social btw #boost #And if you happen to follow b/c you like what you see you count as a follower and thus can reblog #just behave how you naturally might on the tumblrs

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buglaur · 9 months

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she's live

now you can see what everyones height is in my head because i refuse to download height sliders. look at ass <3

#also works on mobile btw ☝️ !!#me successfully making this is proof you can achieve anything with 500 google searches #you should see my search history #html how to put image. html how to change image size. html how to put images in a row. html how to center a row of images. html how to #their pinterest boards are disabled at the moment because i need to make them look good before i share them #and most tags don't work yet because i'm too lazy to go back through my whole blog and tag almost 2 years worth of posts 😭#going to christen it by reblogging one of those dress up your sim prompt ask games #if i can find it #and then i'm going to get completely stuck into rufus and sawyers gameplay yessss i can't wait #leaving virgils gameplay forever i think because when rufus and sawyer have a kid i'm moving him in as the babysitter #would you believe me if i told you there is 0 cc clothes in this #i've fallen in love with maxis clothing recently idk what happened to me #besides roxys boots and virgils bag its a vanilla lookbook #thank you to everyone who voted on the poll yesterday btw #even though it was 50/50 the majority of the time it was up #it ended up 60/40 after an hour tho so i went with my fav macmahon lifestages instead of young adult stages!#goodnight <3

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littleoddwriter · 3 months

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when y'all stop perpetuating stigmas and demonisations of certain mental disorders you deem 'scary' and 'problematic', we can actually start having a conversation about it.

self-absorbed people aren't immediately 'narcissistic'. stop using it as an insult to or even descriptor of every person you feel is being particularly selfish or conceited. NPD is a serious disorder and should be treated as such. stop demonising it.

and also, abusers who use the tactics of putting others down, making everything about them, etc. are extremely self-absorbed and could be anyone. stop making it look like it's just people with NPD, who themselves are abuse victims... often of that exact abuse you accuse them of. same goes for BPD and emotional abuse/using emotions and outbursts as abuse tactics...

generally start treating people with a cluster B personality disorder like the human beings they are, deserving of respect and kindness, just like everybody else.

stop throwing around the word 'psychotic' when you're really just trying to say somebody is 'evil' or 'deranged'. psychosis is a very serious symptom of extremely demonised disorders, like schizophrenia. people with it are just as deserving of respect and kindness as every other human being is.

low/no empathy doesn't make you a bad person. not having compassion doesn't make you a bad person. it's okay for people to not have those traits. they aren't 'monsters' for it. nor are they undeserving of your love and compassion for it, either.

in order to have a nuanced and helpful conversation about stigmas of mental disorders, you need to understand your own partaking in them and unlearn those words, behaviours and thought patterns. please.

sincerely, a person with a cluster B disorder that is sick of your hypocritical bullshit aka ableism

#don't be ableist. it's not cute. and it's not justified even if you think it is because of everyone else doing the same...#i have BPD for anyone who doesn't know yet btw #reblogging this post is very much encouraged #cluster b #cluster b safe #actually cluster b #aspd #bpd #eupd #hpd #npd #personality disorder #schizophrenia #schizophrenic spectrum #schizotypal #psychosis #stigma

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franky-y · 10 months

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another painting

#because i have no self control lmao #käärijä #jere pöyhönen #digital art #this was surprisingly fun to paint #i usually prefer working in black and white because it's easier for me #but this one was fine lol #also #i just wanted to say #thank you to everyone who leaves nice comments in the tags of my posts #i read all of them and seriously i appreciate this so much you have no idea #i've been absolutely miserable recently #and reading all the nice things you guys wrote #really made me feel better #so yeah... thank you!#(i do appreciate all likes and reblogs btw and i don't want anyone to feel pressured into leaving a comment or smth)#(i just really had to say thanks lol)

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taralen · 3 months

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Spamton! How are the mini-tons?

Credits: Text Box Generator Cityscape Clipart (For Past Response)

#my art #ask answered #answered #spamton #big shot spamton #spamton g spamton #deltarune #big shot era #miniton #minitons #I had WAYYYYY too much fun with this one so I put a stupid amount of effort into it #and even then I had to hold back from going more ham on the details #Anon I don't know which Spamton you were asking so I included both lol #I imagine that Spamtons perception of his minitons changed over time...#I have a really extensive headcanon of how these work but I'm not going into it here lol #btw yes he is holding the computer-shaped mug you might have seen reblogs of #I felt it was perfect for him heh heh #it's a real mug for those that don't know

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some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat · 5 months

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I think we need to put the word "intuitive" up on the shelf for companies until they stop defining it as "minimalism" and "gestures that look like you're using a holographic scifi screen"

#sfw #ok to reblog #Intuitive is when I press a button and it does what I expect it to do #If it does something fundamentally different from what I'm led to think it will do then that's not intuitive #Intuitive is when something that looks like a button is a button and something that doesn't look like a button isn't a button #Intuitive is not when you remove all buttons in favor of gestures (which inherently don't have labels telling ppl what to expect btw)#Intuitive is not when everything keeps changing forcing users to unlearn the INTUITION they had built up and start over #programming #user interface #your backend is on fire and your frontend is a featureless orb #tech #Still don't know what to tag these ugh

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coffee-dere · 30 days

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Aaa it's just a really quick scribble but.. Happy transgender visibility day everyone!!!

I know people say this a bunch but I want each and every one of you to know my blog is a safe place for anyone and everyone!! (Unless you're not a good person. But gender, sexuality, etc. doesn't define that in the slightest, so yeah~!!)

#Transgender #Transgender Awareness Day #trans day of visibility #HATSUNE MIKU SAYS TRANS RIGHTS #I REPEAT: TRANS RIGHTS MIKU. TRANS RIGHTS MIKU.#Btw. If I ever reblog or support something from someone that's bigoted or just shitty. PLEASE PLEASE let me know I'm begging you.#Personally I'm not trans so I don't really think I have the right to speak on trans rights and all but the trans community has my full supp #Eep hit the character limit on the last tag- My full support! I love you all! <3 #Vocaloid #Hatsune Miku #Coffee's scribbles

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hephaestuscrew · 7 months

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Thoughts on the patterns of who speaks the episode title phrases in Wolf 359

This analysis is based on the data I gathered in this spreadsheet and summarised with graphs in this post. Basically I've been looking at which character first says the episode title phrase (i.e. the exact words which form the name of that particular episode) in every episode of Wolf 359. Go and look at the spreadsheet if you want more context.

I think we can view the episode title phrases as often expressing the key problem or question of that episode. (I might talk about this in relation to individual examples another time.) Through this lens, the consideration of who speaks the title phrase is about which character gets to frame the key issue of the episode for the listener. This doesn't necessarily mean we are meant to share that character's view of the issue, but it's why I think there is some potentially significant analysis to be done on this topic. (See below the cut...)

The proportion of title phrases said by Eiffel reduces with each season. 69.2% of the Season 1 title phrases are (first) spoken by Eiffel, compared to 46.6% in Season 2, 22.2% in Season 3, and 20% in Season 4.

This is perhaps unsurprising. Eiffel is very much the main perspective character and the primary narrative voice at the start of the series. And, as someone with unusual speech patterns, he is excellent at coining a good memorable title phrase. However, while I'd argue that he never stops being the main protagonist, over the course of the series, the narrative focus broadens away from a singular emphasis on Eiffel's perspective. This perspective shift is reflected in episode titles being spoken by a greater range of characters.

I think the decreasing proportion of Eiffel title phrases also reflects the podcast's shift towards a generally more dramatic rather than comedic tone. While Eiffel is capable of being serious at times, I'd argue that his mode of speech is particularly well suited to generating amusing unusual turns of phrase that work well within a more comedic context (e.g. Succulent Rat-Killing Tar, What's Up Doc?, Bach to the Future). As the stakes become higher and the tone becomes less humorous, characters other than Eiffel, who are more often inclined to take things very seriously, are more likely to speak the title phrases.

There's also just the fact that as we get more characters involved in the action on the Hephaestus, the opportunity to speak the title phrase is spread between more characters.

Although Eiffel is by far and away the most common speaker of title phrases in Season 1, in the first three episodes of the whole show, we get all the characters of that season represented in the title phrases. Minkowski speaks the title phrase in the second episode and Hera does in the third episode - but probably quoting a phrase from Hilbert. This gives us a good early indication that, while Eiffel may be the focal point particularly in this season, this is going to be an ensemble show and all of these characters are going to be significant.

Hilbert's only title phrase is in Ep12 Deep Breaths, in the first stage of his mutiny, arguably the only point in the show where he appears to clearly have the upper hand while acting alone.

After the SI-5 are introduced at the beginning of Season 3, we get five Kepler or Jacobi title phrases in a row, which solidifies the SI-5's presence in the show. It also highlights the fact that the SI-5 have taken over the Hephaestus and are now (at least ostensibly) the ones determining the aims of the Hephaestus mission.

In addition, these patterns might be seen to reflect the shift in the show towards a more conflict-focused tone (related but not identical to the movement away from comedy). While Wolf 359 has always been a show full of conflict, the balance of this conflict shifts with the arrival of the SI-5. For the first team, our protagonists are facing a unified team of antagonists. The potential for violence feels higher, as do the stakes. This might explain why, while we only had one antagonist-spoken title phrase across Seasons 1 and 2 (Hilbert in Ep12 - Lovelace doesn't get a title phrase while she's serving as an antagonist), 44.4% of our Season 3 title phrases are first spoken by antagonists.

The only title phrase spoken by Maxwell is spoken by her in a recording that we hear after her death. This isn't even the only posthumous title phrase spoken from the past in Season 4 - we've got one from Commander Zhang of the Tiamat as well. It's an interesting kind of legacy, an interesting way to emphasize the questions characters leave behind after death, recalling similar themes to those explored in Ep46 Boléro.

#Wolf 359 #w359 #There's probably more to say but I'll leave it there #Sorry to end it kind of abruptly #I haven't got an overall conclusion #I don't necessarily think these patterns are conscious decisions by the writers btw #but I think they can be significant anyway #I know I said I was going to put these thoughts in a reblog to the original post #but this is too long for that #and I want to be able to put it in the tag again #Please feel free to add on your thoughts on the spreadsheet or anything #The moment when the episode title phrase is said could be thought of as the 'roll credits' moment #Idk if the significance feels different because they don't say the episode title in introducing the episode #but generally you have to see it when pressing play on the episode so most listeners will probably be vaguely aware of the episode title #the empty man posteth #I'm worried that there might be mistakes in my maths but not enough to check it

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yuriyuruandyuraart · 10 months

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AFTERMARE WEEK: Day 7- the end of a beginning/ the beginning of the end

make me believe and raise my hopes up one last time, then haunt my dreams for the rest of my life

aftermare week is hosted by @bluepallilworld

#art #illustration #my art #aftermare week 2023 #aftermare week #nightmare #nightmare sans #fem!nightmare #this was actually the first piece i finished!! before the week even started cause i thought i was a literal month late ahhh hhh xD #geno isn't a ghost here night is just reminiscing about old memories :)#i have lots and lots of headcanons surrounding human!nightmare's corruption process but just so you know her appearance changes slightly #istg when i posted the grass wip i did NOT expect it to get 30+ notes like wow! i'm so glad you guys thought it looked good hhh :'D #hope it's not? underwhelming? i didn't expect to participate in all the prompts but this is the first!! week challenge i completed perfectl #last cryptic quote for the week wooo!! try to see how it's related to the prompts cause i'm curious to hear your interpretations >:D #i have a dentist appointment on the 17th so this is queued! i'll reblog everyone's art once i come back so don't worry >:'D #btw thank you so much for hosting this event blue!! the prompts were literally ALLL a 10 outta 10 just howww >:"0 #i hope you're having an amazing day miss >:3 <3333

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kyouka-supremacy · 7 months

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Btw @ anyone based in Italy among my followers, I'll be at romics on Friday! Feel free to hmu in dms if you'd like to say hi (ㅅ´ ˘ )♡

#Actually is anyone avaible to do my make up. The friend that should have done it suddenly ditched me and I'm desperate #I never wear make up and I have not the slightest idea where to start ;;;;;;#And I don't trust I can learn in one night since I don't even have the products with me until the night before #I'm 100% serious btw if you can help let me know I don't know a thing about make up. Please someone help me #But leaving that aside! I'd be delighted to meet anyone from here!!! So don't be afraid to hmu #random rambles #Probably going to reblog this a couple of times later

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thenon-fictiondays · 1 year

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Hirano to Kagiura light novel translation 4-1

Chapter 4: Fall.

Part 1

Prev || Next

It might be September by now, but the sun’s rays know no bounds.

Heat from the weather aside, the schoolhouse on the coattails of summer break is permeated with the fervor of the students.

Among all those in the athletic clubs who have undergone away games and training camps, there are many who have deepened both their tans and their virility. The sense of achievement characteristic of those who kept up with their exercise lives within their growth spurts.

Hirano’s roommate is, once again, one of them.

Kagiura, who’s gotten a bit taller, has gotten used to high school, completely devoid of the anxiety he’d seemed to have around the time he’d started school.

Since they’d met up over the summer, he’s become more and more relaxed, and Hirano can’t help but think of him as a beloved younger brother.

Wait, but younger brothers don’t do things like give you earrings, do they?

Hirano isn’t really in a position to judge, with no siblings of his own.

He’d found his original earrings while organizing his luggage after returning from Kagiura’s countryside home. They’d fallen into his school bag and hidden themselves beneath the stiff bottom plate.

What should I do about it? he’d wondered, but figured well, whatever, and didn’t bother switching out his new ones. He’ll keep them in the dorm just in case, but ultimately plans to keep using the ones Kagiura gave him.

As soon as the new term starts, preparations for the Cultural Festival are full speed ahead. Even the first years, who aren’t used to running events without the guidance of a faculty member, are gradually gaining opportunities to build character. The Executive Committee members have so many responsibilities that it has become difficult to carry out their studies without the cooperation of their classmates.

Kagiura also has the situation of being part of the ‘Sports Recommendation Squad’, and his grades are not up to snuff. It would be good if they don’t take a hit from his extracurricular responsibilities, but that will come down to his own efforts.

It’s not just the Executive Committee members who are swamped. The students in the culture clubs are also at their busiest, and with the autumn tournament right around the corner, there’s no way the athletics clubs can cut back on practices.

The sweltering nights have yet to abate; yet despite these conditions which could even be called cruel, most of the students are eagerly awaiting the Cultural Festival. You might even get away with saying all of them.

Because, after all, girls come to visit the cultural festival.

And even without that element, a festival is still a festival.

This is a time when the whole student body is restless, so the Disciplinary Committee will be on top of keeping everyone in line—or such is their public stance, but they won’t be too strict about moderating uniforms and hair styles.

In any case, a high proportion of the students will be in costumes on the day of the festival.

There's also at least one class cross-dressing every year.

This year, that’s right, it's the class that Hirano is unfortunately a part of. More specifically, it's been decided that Hirano will be one of the ones in drag.

Oiwa-san—a famous spirit who makes an appearance in the Yotsuya Kaidan.¹

There are many variations of the famous ghost story, in which Oiwa, the deceased wife, holding a grudge over the betrayal of her husband, Iemon, slaughters every last person involved. Apparently, they will be basing the makeup off of Tōkaidō Yotsuya Kaidan², which is popular among Hirano’s classmates.

He’d been shown reference images of the ghost, her face half disfigured and inflamed by poison, but the picture was nightmare fuel when viewed in the dark.

Supposedly it’s a style of Halloween makeup that’s been popular in recent years, but the trial makeup that had been applied to his arm after school in order to match the shade to his face had been truly grotesque.

This information is to be kept top secret until the last possible minute on the day of, in the interests of building hype.

While Hirano is putting away his homework, the door opens with a click.

His roommate is home.

It’s still bright outside, but the dining hall is just about to open for dinner.

“Hirano-san, I’m home!”

“Welcome home, Kagi-kun.”

These days, Kagiura usually gets a bit bashful in reply to Hirano’s greeting, seemingly tickled. So naive and innocent he must be, making such an expression with no fear of being misunderstood.

There were days they’d spent together, but summer vacation had been long.

There’s an air of a different kind of newness from the one there’d been in the period before they’d gotten used to sharing a dorm—Kagiura probably feels it too. At least, Hirano thinks so.

He feels closer to Kagiura compared to before. After all, he’s met his immediate and extended family, so of course they’d feel more intimate. It’s as if the part of himself that had been on guard while thinking about how to act as a senpai in his second year in the dorms has been absolved.

After Hirano had filled out his print-outs as if in competition with Kagiura, who’d spread out his homework in a frenzy, they’d headed to the dining hall a little later than usual.

It always takes him about 3 or 4 days to get back into the swing of dorm life.

Speaking of which, he thinks.

Before Kagiura moved into the dorms, Hirano had been quite nervous.

He’d talked to Hanzawa about it one time when the Disciplinary Committee had a meeting, and they’d brainstormed strategies to avoid scaring Kagiura off.

He’d also felt it would be a waste of his efforts if he was only friendly at the beginning of their time spent living together; thus, they’d come to the conclusion that it wouldn’t be too far out of Hirano’s depths to give him a nickname and use “-kun”.

Oh yeah, that’s right. At the beginning I called him Kagiura-kun.

He’s been calling his name every day, enough that he’d ended up shortening it, thinking it’s too long and clunky.

Kagiura has morning practice tomorrow, too, so there's no way he can let him oversleep.

Hirano got that, but there was something on his mind that just wouldn’t go away, so he asked before shutting off the lights.

".....Hey, um. I know you're working hard, so I don't wanna rain on your parade, but are your studies going all right? I haven't heard how your proficiency test went yet."

As the words leave his mouth, he thinks, what am I, a private tutor? and laughs drily to himself.

For the results of the test held right after summer break, a list ranking every student in their grade and the standard score were passed out to each person, the same as for the periodic exams.

For first years, they can be used as nothing more than a reference, but due to the breadth of the material covered, in some cases they might be used to determine which schools to apply to when compared to results from previous cram schools.

“...I just barely passed.”

“What’s the damage?”

“The teacher said, ‘You didn’t do badly enough that I need to pull you aside, but keep working hard’...”

“I see.”

Which is bad in and of itself, really.

Kagiura hangs his head dejectedly, and Hirano’s tempted to comfort him all the more for having seen the extent of his efforts, but his lack of preparation is unmistakable.

“Kagi-kun, after the cultural festival is over, you gotta step it up. If you miss some of the notes, get someone to show you theirs before the next day. Don’t let them build up. If you end up with a backlog of notes to take, you’re not gonna be able to understand them.”

Hirano knows deep down he’s probably worrying too much, but he keeps the expression on his face stern. The beginning is the key to everything. Among his classmates in the ‘Sports Recommendation Squad’ who, like Kagiura, are bad students, there are many whose grades plummeted after going on to their second year.

Who knew he’d become this much of a worrywort after becoming someone’s senpai?

“Yeah…Hirano-san, will you teach me again?”

“Sure. But you better bring back good grades.”

“I will! …By the way, can I ask you something?”

He ducks his head as he asks the question, a gesture with all the charm one would expect from someone as cute as him.

“What’s up?”

“When you were a first year, did the senpai you roomed with teach you how to study, too?”

“Nah, no way.”

“Hm…did you not get along?”

“It’s not that we didn’t get along, we just weren’t really that close. I wasn’t nearly as friendly a kouhai as you are.”

This is usually the case for dorm students. Hanzawa, contemptuous of homosexual relations, has a reputation in certain circles for having a finely-tuned gaydar and showing up to cockblock any time he senses anyone getting a little too close.³

His distaste isn’t unwarranted; apparently it has to do with his family, so even Hirano feels bad for him.

“...Does that make me special, then?”

“Why are you so happy about that?”

At Hirano’s jests of what are you, a dog? Kagiura breaks into a grin.

“Yeah. You know, I’m glad I’m your roommate, Hirano-san.”

Hirano smiles wryly; Kagiura’s got him wrapped around his little finger without a hint of insincerity.

With Kagiura cozying up to him like this, he doesn’t stand a chance.

*****

T/N: (1) Not sure I need to add more info on this to the story, but it's pretty interesting, so you can read more about it here.

(2) A movie based on the story made in 1959.

(3) Yall....idek what to say about this. I tried to keep the tone lighthearted but the original text literally says 'gay-hating Hanzawa' and describes his feelings as disgust. Idk why the writer put this but our boy is NOT like that 😭 I actually broke my vow of not looking at the official TL just to see how they handled this bit and they completely watered it down lmao. and tbh, yall know my dedication to accuracy but I WAS TEMPTED. While going back and forth about what I should do, I told my sister about it, and she suggested that Hanzawa doesn't actually hate gays, he just hates gay sex and will stand for none of it in his dorm so...we're going with that interpretation 💀🙃💀🙃

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#you guys can reblog these posts btw <3 #remember likes are great but they don't do anything to spread the posts around!#friendly reminder that tumblr is not ig/tt and we love her for it <3 #re 3rd footnote: im still trying to cope #im really hoping that the 'homophobic' and 'disgust' etc are referring to his reputation rather than his real feelings #tho i'm not sure that's much better 💀#also im sorry but wtf is up with the whole 'its to do with his family so hirano feels bad for him thing'#like??? oh poor you your sibling is gay that must be such a struggle #guess you have the right to hate gay people. ??????#this makes it sound like there was some TRAUMA involved #but it was literally just his brother (and other sibling) saying btw im gay and then they all moved on with their lives??#shoutout to my sister for this slightly inaccurate but much better take #i told her about it and she was like 'nah this mf just repressed as hell 💀'#she does not read ssmy/kghr btw #hirano to kagiura #hirano and kagiura #kagihira #hirano to kagiura light novel #hirano to kagiura translation #harusono shou

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