ultimate-fangirl34

[ultimate-fangirl34]

“Duolingo Owl, please, teach me your ways.”

You used to be the scourge of kingdoms, the reaper of heroes and the mere mention of your name scared even the toughest of them. But today no one remembers you and you are fine with that. You have lived in peace ever since until one day a stranger approaches you and calls you by your true name.

#writers #writers on tumblr #writing prompts #writeblr #writing inspiration #duolingo #duolingo owl #memes #I guess #funny #I hope

[ultimate-fangirl34]

No other site. Would you get This

#tumblr #so many questions #and yet none at all

[ultimate-fangirl34]

My aromantic ass be like

You have developed a reputation for being an expert matchmaker. Whenever you’re around, people who meet each other end up falling in love. But what no one else sees is that Cupid has been trying to shoot you with an arrow for a long time now, and all you’ve been doing is dodging them.

#gay #lgbtq+ #aromantic #asexual #writers #writers on tumblr #writing prompts #writeblr #writing inspiration #the gays

[ultimate-fangirl34]

Do you know why batman doesn't have a police badge?

Because he doesn't kill people

[ultimate-fangirl34]

i just remembered this and now i can't stop laughing

[ultimate-fangirl34]

Dave: hi I’m D-

Klaus:

#tua #tua incorrect quotes #klaus #klaus hargreeves #the umbrella academy #dave #gay #incorrect quotes #meme #funny

[ultimate-fangirl34]

there’s got to be at least one trans woman named eve out there whose deadname is adam. and she’s the funniest person to ever grace this earth with her presence.

[ultimate-fangirl34]

girls with the ... the open blouses and you can ... and it's like ... it's it's ... you can see the ... !!

*collapses*

[ultimate-fangirl34]

Hey yall I had a fuckin thought 

So, as it’s roughly explained, the state alchemist program is a kind of “recruit potential human sacrifices” mechanism, with a side-order of “brute strength for the army”. But basically, the state alchemist title is mostly about being a researcher–given people like Shou Tucker exist, and given that the only requirement to stay a state alchemist is to submit a yearly report of your research that says “look I’m still being a useful scientist”.

So far, so far this is sensible, yeah? Father and the delightful children from down the lane are running a recruitment program for potential human sacrifices. So sure–butter them up! Give them lots of money, get them buddy-buddy with the government, and give them endless resources for research. It’s be pretty easy to trick a state alchemist in that position to open the portal if Sugar DaddyBradley is nudging them to do it.

And I’m still willing to go with this logic for the whole “draft the state alchemists into war” move. They make it pretty clear that was something of a last-ditch effort. And the blood transmutation circle around Amestris was an absolute necessity for Father’s plan. So the risk of a few state alchemists dying or resigning from your Potential Sacrifice Pool is worth it for the completion of the circle.

Now. To get to my fucking thought. 

Edward fucking Elric. This fucking fight-me 12 year old troglodyte shows up to the exam and performs circle-less transmutation in front of mother fucking Bradley, demonstrating to one of the seven Actual Fucking Homunculi that he’d already opened the portal. Ed was literally prepped as a human sacrifice before he showed up to Central. A fully set human sacrifice showed up at the homunculi’s door, said “hey look what I can do!”, proved he’d opened the mother fucking portal already, and said “hey yeah hire me”. Human sacrifice, free shipping, no assembly required, handcuffs not included!

They could have just tossed Ed into a shoebox and kept him there until the Promised Day. They wouldn’t even need to make up an excuse he attacked the f u  c k i n g president. That’s fucking treason babey. He’s 12, he’s an orphan, he’s from a rural town in buttfuck nowhere, he’s literally the easiest person alive to disappear. They could have arrested him for assassination crimes, kept him in gay baby jail, and just popped him out for the Promised Day

What do they do instead?! “Oh lmao this kid’s great. Let’s give him infinite money, no supervision, no governmental responsibilities, access to all our secret resources, and toss him on a train to who-the-fuck-knows-where-land”

They fucking did that

And like? They then had the audacity to be concerned when Edward “Fight Me” Elric almost got himself killed about 293 times. Just an endless game of “I thought u were watching him” from one homunculus to another when Ed fucking absconds half-way across the globe to go entice some other hostile entity into murdering him to death. That’s the whole series. Every arc is Ed baiting death while the homunculi are in the background like “:/ wish he wouldn’t do that”

This only gets worse when you consider they later learned Al opened the portal too because really?? These two stab-happy globe-trotting public menaces are 40% of your final evil plan for godhood. 40%. Almost half. You couldn’t fucking set aside a cardboard box to keep these idiots in?

We all knew Father was terrible at planning when we learned his thousands-of-years-in-the-making-plan involved him procrastinating until the last five minutes to get his last sacrifice, while he was?? playing chess in his fucking basement, I guess. But it’s like every time I think about it like really think about it I find 7 more reasons Father was a fucking shit idiot moron, king of the stupid fucking idiot club, flesh and blood founder of seven other established dumbasses, all living in their idiot hovel under central, just giving random dumbass 12 year olds infinite money, j u s t  b e c a u s e.

[ultimate-fangirl34]

you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life

[ultimate-fangirl34]

It doesn’t take an army to start a revolution, it takes one person finally putting their foot down

[ultimate-fangirl34]

Spock: *walks in*

McCoy:

[ultimate-fangirl34]

It doesn’t take an army to start a revolution, it takes one person finally putting their foot down

#fuck the patriarchy #revolution #protest #protestors #protesting #the time is now #we have to do better #gay #lgbt #rights #trans rights #meme #funny #end racism #we can do this

[ultimate-fangirl34]

every year after you turn 17 you get further away from being the age of the dancing queen and that’s my least favorite thing about growing up

[ultimate-fangirl34]

[ultimate-fangirl34]

Y’all need to get outside

[ultimate-fangirl34]

I’m from Hampshire so it’s kinda just. British? Like not Cockney but not posh but not farmer. It’s hard to tell when it’s yOUR accent lmao

rb this and tell me what ur accent is. this has no purpose except the fact i just realized i could have like... mutuals with cockney accents or newfoundland accents or something and thats just wild

#hampshire #california accent- but sometimes my voice changes into so many different accents without me realizing it. #sometimes southern- but im pretty sure its focusing on north carolina since i was born there #idk anymore #mine is a canadian accent but not the fukkin small-town maritimes one you see on tv #i cannot pronounce the 't' in the middle of words for the life of me??? it doesn't work??? #it's not water bottle mitten its wader boddle midden all day long baby #same with literally everyone i know #funny #meme #england #british #memes #culture #accents #gay