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yourtearsaremyink · 2 days

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It's Just This Once

Chapter 4

Author's note: Sorry this chapter is a little late, holiday weekend got the better of me. Enjoy!

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Not many. Bucky and his PTSD, my life choices to write this, nightmares, Bucky's regret and self hatred. Idk. There's not even language in this thing its mostly fluff.

Summary: Bucky makes a promise.

Chapter Word Count: 1,427

Chapter 3: Promise Me

The remaining Avengers spent the rest of their day in near silence with Sam on his mission. Y/N still had a bad feeling about Sam's absence by the time the sun set. As she laid in bed, Y/N thought about her conversation with Bucky last night. So many things stood out to her as she starred at the ceiling. She didn't know his scars ran that deep. She knew it was hard for Bucky to open up to people so it made her feel happy that he could confide in her. She was still worried about him, how could she not be? When Y/N first discovered her abilities, she took every chance she could get to heal people. Eventually she began to want to heal minds and hearts as well, it pained her to see people so beat down and broken inside. She was always told not to meddle, she was a doctor not a counselor, but if she had a chance to make someone feel better, why not take it? For the rest of the night before she fell asleep, she thought about how to make Bucky feel better. She didn't want to push it but if given the chance to heal not just his body but his mind as well, she would take it.

Bucky's mind never settled down after Sam took off. He went over the words Y/N said to him last night, 'not broken, hurt.' Of course he was hurt, but the hurt seemed to melt away the more he listened to her heart beat. It was so unbelievably nice how he just forgot about the pain for a moment when he put his head on her shoulder. At the time, he wasn't really interested in anything that intimate. Though after he had it, he didn't realize how much he needed it, for someone to touch his skin without the intent of hurting him. He wanted nothing more than to just let her hold him again. Still he felt he didn't deserve it, she knows what he's guilty of. Why would she want to comfort a murderer? Since the rain had finally stopped he thought he'd give sleep one more try. It sounded so easy to just sleep but he never could trust his own mind to let him rest.

At about four in the morning, Bucky had yet another nightmare. He dreamed he was back at the prison camp in Azzone, strapped to the table before Steve rescued him. He struggled for what seemed like an eternity. In his original memory he called out Steve's name before his voice gave out on him. In his dream however, he called a different name, Y/N...

He woke up heaving and covered in sweat, he looked around disoriented for a moment before sitting up. He was tangled in his new blankets since he ripped the old ones, he kicked them off and sat with his feet off the bed.

"Again? Seriously?" He whispered to himself. He got dressed in some work out clothes and made his way to the gym downstairs. Hoping that mindlessly hitting something would release some pent up frustration, he hung up one of the industrial strength punching bags and got into a good rhythm without so much as wrapping his flesh hand.

Y/N woke up with her intuition screaming one thing, 'Bucky'. She knew she was worried about him but didn't realize it was bad enough for her to wake up in the middle of the night. She didn't understand her intuition sometimes, it wasn't like Peter's Spider Sense where it could warn someone of danger, it was more like it told her to go left and not right for a better outcome. She sped to Bucky's room to find his bed empty, she focused for a moment and her mind said 'gym'. She hurried to the elevator and eventually saw all of the lights turned on. Y/N peered inside to see Bucky pounding away at a punching bag. She opened the door and Bucky stopped mid swing to look at her. He dropped his hands immediately and began to catch his breath.

"How'd you know I was down here?" He asked in a tired voice. She did nothing but tap her finger to her head. Bucky nodded and bowed his head to the floor avoiding her gaze. She studied him as she moved closer. He had bags under his eyes, his forehead was covered in sweat, and his knuckles were dripping blood. As soon as she saw, she walked faster to him.

"Bucky your hand." She said in a concerned voice as she took a hold of his right hand.

"I forgot to wrap it." He said quietly and yanked it away.

"Let me heal it."

"It's fine I'll bandage it and it'll be good by morning."

She gave him a sad look,

"Buck, just let me help you." She said with pleading eyes. Bucky remembered Sam's words from earlier. 'Let her help you, accept that she cares about you and wants to see you happy.' Not wanting to disappoint Sam, Bucky gave his hand to Y/N. She pulled him closer as she took his human hand gently and worked her magic. The same light purple glow from last night illuminated from her fingers. Bucky watched as the wounds on his hand closed up leaving only some blood droplets. When she was done he stared in amazement and thought back to when he said 'It's just this once'

"I will never get over how amazing that is." He said in a low quiet voice. She looked up to meet his eyes, their noses only a handful of inches apart.

"Why don't you let me heal you?"

"You don't need to waste your energy on me."

"It's not wasting my energy, it's doing my job. I have these powers for a reason, let me use them in they way they're meant to be used." She had wanted to say that for a long time and part of her wanted to take it back as soon as she said it. Bucky had another reason for not wanting to be helped, and she knew this.

"Sorry. I just-" he sighed, "don't see why you care so much."

"I don't like seeing others in pain knowing I can heal them."

"Thanks, but I don't think you can take away my kind of pain."

"I can if you let me." She said it with such confidence Bucky was caught off guard.

"How?"

"By letting me be there for you, like last night." She said it sort of sweetly. Bucky felt his ears go red at the mention of last night.

"Still can't imagine why. After all that I've done why me?" He said. Y/N started to get frustrated. Why couldn't she get this through his head.

"Because I care about you!" She said near shouting. Sam was right, but it was different hearing it from her lips.

"You're not a bad person Bucky, you've just had a lot of bad things happen to you. I can see that your heart is true, believe me." She realized she had been holding his hand the entire time. Bucky smiled in disbelief at her words. She kept going,

"I know you feel like you don't deserve the love you get but you do trust me." Again Bucky disagreed,

"I just find it hard to believe that after 90 years someone would want to give me something other than pain." His voice shook at the end of his sentence. "You wouldn't understand." He whispered.

"You're right. I won't pretend to know the challenges you're facing, but you can help me understand. I want to understand." Bucky thought it over for a few moments.

"Okay."

"Wait, really?" She didn't expect him to actually let her in.

"Yeah, I want to confide in you. I just wasn't sure if I should until now." He admitted. She was at a loss for words.

"Promise me."

"What?" He gave a very confused look.

"You don't have to hurt alone. Promise, you'll come to me instead." She brought a hand up to his cheek, he leaned into her touch. The last person to tell him this kind of stuff was Steve. Why was it so hard to believe that some could want to love him. Love? He figured he shouldn't go that far. He mirrored her movements and rubbed her cheek with the pad of his thumb.

"I promise."

Too late for that 'love' thought.

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yourtearsaremyink · 9 days

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It's Just This Once

Chapter 3

Author's note: Enjoy!

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Not many. Bucky and his PTSD, my life choices to write this, nightmares, Bucky's regret and self hatred. Idk. There's not even language in this thing its mostly fluff.

Summary: Bucky opens up.

Chapter Word Count: 1,764

Chapter 3: As the Storm Rages

"Hey"

"Hi"

Y/N's heart broke the second she saw Bucky. He looked so tired, he was curled in on himself and a little pale. She tried to mask her sadness but didn't succeed very well. He eyed her carefully as she bent down to pick up one of the books she hadn't finished reading from the coffee table. She inched towards the couch and asked,

"Mind if I sit?"

Bucky sighed heavily,

"Free country." He nodded at the opposite side of the furniture. She sat down and stretched her legs towards Bucky, he tensed up a little as she got comfortable. Part of Bucky just wanted to sit in silence but also thought this would be a perfect time to eliminate some of the awkwardness that still lingered from earlier. He risked it and cleared his throat,

"How's Wanda?"

Y/N was confused as to why he was keeping up a conversation.

"She feels guilty." Bucky brought his fingers to the bridge of his nose.

"I didn't mean to scare her." His voice was quite and horse from screaming.

"She wasn't scared of you, she was scared for you. We both were."

"You should be scared of me."

"Why?"

"I almost hurt Sam," he put his book in his lap. "and if you and Wanda weren't careful you could have been hurt too."

"You as well, you know. Don't disregard your well-being for our safety, we can take care of ourselves."

Bucky looked away for a moment before replying.

"Did Sam send you in here to lecture me?" He said with a little more bite than he intended.

"Nope. I couldn't sleep so I came in here. Why? Do you want a lecture?" She said it with the same smile she had when she reminded him about his shirt.

"No..."

"Then I won't give you one." She went back to her book and moved her feet closer to him so they lied across his lap. Bucky was skeptical from the start, there was no way she came in here to not try and get him to open up, but what he didn't know is that Y/N really wanted to help him. She again felt obliged to heal his mind as well as his body, she'd be lying if she said she didn't think the nightmare was something of her doing. She wasn't going to push it so she thought it best if he came to her. She noticed how Bucky kept looking back and forth between her and his book.

"Bucky-"

"It was my arm." He interrupted. She immediately panicked thinking he was referring to when she healed him.

"My nightmare, it was about when Isaiah Bradley destroyed half of it."

She was shocked when it dawned on her that he was opening up to her. She put down her book and moved to sit closer on his right side. She gave him a look that said she wanted to hear the rest.

"After the fight in Goyang, I made it back to the Hydra base I was stationed on. To say they were unhappy with my failure would be an understatement, they were furious." He swallowed dryly and put his hands on his knees. Y/N put her hand on top of his and stroked his knuckles with her thumb, encouraging him to continue. She never broke eye contact.

"The handler assigned to me at the time was even more so. He had me tortured and then some. I got a new arm eventually and that was excruciatingly painful. After that they put me in the chair, being there for hours was not uncommon but I was there for days. Making me remember my failure by making me forget. In time I forgot my mistake, but never the punishment. I dreamed of the new arm getting installed, the chair, and the dozen ways they tortured me." He was shaking, "T-the chair used electric shocks to wipe my mind, it always reminded me of lightning, and with lightning comes thunder so... "

It clicked in Y/N's head, that's why he didn't like thunderstorms.

"Oh, Bucky..." She drew him into a hug and held tight, reluctantly he hugged back. She rubbed soothing circles in his back as his breathing shook, she could feel his heartbeat through his shirt. She finally let go as she saw that his eyes were brimming with tears.

"Why did you feel the need to tell me all this?" Bucky had never opened up to her like this before.

"I saw the look you gave me after I woke up, you looked guilty, as if it were your fault." He saw right through her, she tried not to express her inner thoughts when she had the idea it might have been her fault. She glanced away.

"It wasn't believe me, I just hated the thought of you blaming yourself. If anything you should be blaming my broken mind." He gave a sad smile.

"Not broken, hurt." She interlace her fingers with his.

"You are not broken, you're still healing from the things Hydra did to you."

"You're not going to tell me it's time to move on from all of that like everyone else does? "

"Everyone heals at a different pace." He looked down and place his head on her shoulder. She brought up her arms and held him tighter. Thunder once again rumbled outside and Bucky tensed. She moved to a position where they could lean on each other.

"You need to relax. Listen to me and not what's happening outside." She held his hand and they breathed together. She could feel his muscles loosen once again.

"Seems like you can heal more than just bodies, doll."

They sat there content before they both drifted off to sleep.

The two of them woke up to the sound of footsteps. Bucky was laying on his left side with Y/N curled up to his chest and his arm was around her shoulders. They both looked at each other confused until the realized what situation they were in. Their eyes went wide and they quickly moved to sit up. A little panicked, Y/N rolled off the couch and towards the ground. Bucky, in an attempt to catch her, just ended up tumbling onto the floor as well. At that moment they both had the exact same thought, now it's awkward again...

"Uh..." Bucky began but was interrupted.

"Good morning." Sam said walking into the room. They scrambled off the floor and back onto opposite sides of the couch. They looked at Sam as if nothing had happen.

"Good morning!" Y/N and Bucky said in unison. They didn't react other than just staring at Sam. He had a very confused look on his face and asked.

"I was gonna ask if you two wanted coffee."

"Yes please." Y/N said a little too cheerfully.

"Sure." Bucky said trying to play off the tension and not really succeeding.

"Something happen between you two?" Sam pointed between them.

"No." They both said again.

"Uh huh." He said not really believing them. "Don't forget about that 'in the morning' thing Bucky."

"Don't forget about that meeting with Rhodey Sam." Bucky replied in the same tone.

"Yeah, yeah I know." Sam said as he left the room. Bucky and Y/N each let out a breath.

"What meeting with Rhodey?" Y/N asked.

"I don't really know, neither does Sam, Rhodey was pretty vague when he talked about wanting to meet with him."

"We'll find out soon I guess. Come on let's eat breakfast." They made their way down to the kitchen to help Sam. Y/N took over the cooking so Sam could go down stairs and see Rhodey. Wanda even showed up but didn't speak much with Bucky still in the room. Sam came up with their guest and ate breakfast. When they were done, Sam and Rhodey left to talk and Wanda went back to her room. She said she was going to practice some magic but Y/N guessed she was just trying to avoid Bucky. After a while Sam came back to see Bucky and Y/N watching some TV.

"How'd it go?" Bucky asked. They were both curious as to why a meeting was called in the first place.

"Rhodes and I have a mission." Sam sighed as if he wasn't too happy about it.

"What's it for?" Bucky wanted further detail.

"Top secret Air Force assignment. Sorry man." Sam still looked pretty guilty.

"Oh okay. How long?"

"A couple weeks at least." Bucky's heart sunk at his words. His mind began to wonder. What if he had another nightmare like last night? What if he needed Sam to pull him out again and neither of the girls could do it? What if he hurt them?

"I can still be in touch with you guys so it's not like you won't hear from me."

"When are you leaving?" Y/N asked.

"As soon as I pack, which I should get started on now." Sam nodded and walked towards his room, Bucky quickly followed. As soon as they got there Bucky shut the door. Sam knew exactly what was going through his head.

"Are you going to be okay without me here?"

"Maybe, I don't know. I don't like the idea of Y/N or Wanda bringing me out of a nightmare."

"Not Y/N, really?" Sam knew what he saw that morning. "She looks like she can really help you Buck."

"I think she is actually, but I don't want to put her in danger because of me."

"Let her help you, accept that she cares about you and wants to see you happy. We all do." Bucky looked down still unhappy with the fact that Sam is going away for longer than he expected.

"Come here man." Sam said as he brought Bucky into a hug.

"So you gonna tell me what that was this morning?" Sam asked smiling.

"How about I tell you that 'in the morning' thing."

"Sounds good to me."

Bucky told him about his nightmare as he packed. After they were done, they made their way down stairs to see Sam and Rhodey off. Even Wanda arrived to say her fair well. They took off and left the rest of them alone at the Compound. As soon as Sam left Bucky felt a darkness shroud around him. At the same time, Y/N felt her intuition tell her something bad was stirring. They made their way inside as they expected the worst.

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #fluff #i wrote this instead of sleeping #nightmares #slow burn #sam wilson #wanda maximoff #author regrets everything #author regrets nothing #fanfic #falcon and the winter soldier #winter soldier #bucky fanfic #hurt comfort #hurt bucky barnes #hurt/angst #angst with a happy ending #dont worry it gets better i promise

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yourtearsaremyink · 16 days

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It's Just This Once

Chapter 2

Thanks for reading chapter 1. Again, this work is finished and chapters will be updated on Mondays. Feel free to share tips on the best ways to use Tumblr. I'm still learning. Likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Not many. Bucky and his PTSD, my life choices to write this, nightmares, Bucky's regret and self hatred. Idk. There's not even language in this thing it's mostly fluff.

Chapter Summary: Bucky has a nightmare and no one is okay.

Chapter word count: 1,504

Chapter 2: When Sleep Comes

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

It was at that moment Bucky realized his shirt was still off, he pulled away quickly and blushed a little. What she did was incredible, she relaxed his muscles that haven't relaxed since 1945. He felt the tension slip away like sand in a hourglass, though the headache still lingered. The storm raged on outside and it still made him feel anxious, but with the phantom pain gone he felt a million times better. He looked back at Y/N and smiled, he really had no words to express how grateful he was for her help.

"Well I should really get to bed it's late." He had no idea how to play the rest of this situation out.

"Yeah, me too." She was just as nervous as he was. He started towards the door before she called after him.

"Bucky." He turned on his heels.

"Yeah?" He said a little too quickly

"Forgetting something?" She held up his shirt with one finger

"Oh! Right, " he hurried over and took his shirt, "Thank you."

"Goodnight Bucky." She said with the same little smile.

"Night." He replied and left.

The walk to his room was long. He was still reeling in what had just occurred. What even was that? He was hardly ever that awkward. What happened to the smooth gentleman he was in the 40's? The encounter left him more anxious than when he arrived. When he finally got to his room he contemplated weather he should even attempt sleep. Though the storm outside left him on edge and stressed, he thought he might as well try since he felt physically relaxed. He had started sleeping in his bed more since his therapist said a more comfortable sleeping environment would help with the nightmares. He climbed into bed and got comfortable. The rain made his heart thump rapidly in his chest he knew it would take a while for him to fully fall asleep. He tried to take even breaths and eventually let sleep invade his mind.

Y/N walked back to her room wondering why she and Bucky acted they ways that they did. Bucky asked for help, something she never thought was possible. She wondered how much pain he was actually in for him to come to her. She lied in bed and knew something was off. Her intuition was telling her to investigate but she was too tired to listen. She listened to the rain and fell asleep.

Two hours later she woke up to a horrific scream. She startled awake and quickly ran out of her room knowing exactly who made the noise, Bucky. She bolted to Bucky's room to see that the door was open and Sam was already in there. Wanda came right up next to Y/N as she stood in the door way. They had all been in situations where they were in between Bucky and a nightmare. Y/N and Wanda learned it was best to keep a distance. Bucky was tangled in his blankets and gripping them so hard she thought it would rip. His head was thrown back and was covered in a thin layer of sweat. He was breathing heavily and muttering some words in Russian none of them could understand. Sam was at the bedside clutching Bucky's shoulders in an attempt to wake him up. He let out another gut wrenching scream and swung his metal arm towards Sam. He dodged it just in time to not be slugged in the face. Wanda looked worried and kept looking back and forth between Sam and Bucky.

"Sam..." Wanda said

"Not yet Wanda." He held a hand up to say wait. A long time ago, Bucky had a nightmare similar to this one. Bucky had become violent and hit Sam hard enough to break his rib. It scared Wanda enough for her to resort to using her magic to wake him up. He sat up with red eyes and immediately panicked. With yet another person invading his mind, he didn't want to so much as look at Wanda for a few days. It wasn't that he was mad at her, he was just reminded of all the times someone messed with his head. After that they established that she would only use her powers on him if Sam couldn't wake him up. Sam kept trying in vain to pull Bucky out of the hell he was living in. Suddenly the blanket ripped and Bucky screamed louder. Sam and Wanda's eyes met.

"Go Wanda."

She nodded and red magic flowed from her fingers and into Bucky's temple. With a huge gasp Bucky bolted up right and started looking around for threats that weren't there. Sam stepped back as Bucky scrambled out of bed to the bathroom, his knees buckled as he emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet. Y/N didn't know if it was the nightmare or Wanda's powers that deserved that reaction. Sam went in and put his hand on his back, he knew full well that touching Bucky in that state was a bad idea but he risked it anyway. Bucky coughed a few times before standing up and washing his face in the sink. He gave a sad look at Sam and staggered back into his room. He saw Wanda in the doorway and Y/N put her hand on Wanda's shoulder. Bucky started walking to Wanda.

"Bucky I'm sorry, you weren't waking up and Sam gave me the okay and I-"

Bucky cut her off with a gentle hug.

"I'm so sorry." Wanda said on the verge of tears.

"It's okay." Bucky replied

He let go and made his way back to his bed. Y/N gave him an sympathetic look, she knew something was off after she healed him but she didn't realize it was this bad. Sam walked to them and said,

"Thanks girls, I'll take care of him from here."

"If he needs anything let us know." Y/N said.

She walked with Wanda back to her room where she expressed how guilty she felt. After Westview, she still has a hard time with using her powers on others even when it was for the better. They sat and talked while Sam cared for Bucky. Y/N still couldn't shake that feeling that some things were worse than they seemed.

Sam closed the door as the girls left and Bucky sat on the end of his bed. His elbows were resting on his knees and he held his head in his hands trying to even out his breathing. The rain was still hitting the windows and Bucky would flinch every time thunder sounded.

"That was intense." Sam said in an effort to lighten the mood.

"Tell me about it." Bucky sat up and looked at Sam with tired eyes.

"You okay?" He knew it was a dumb question, after that how could he be okay?

"No... But I will be."

"Wanna talk about it?"

Bucky quietly shook his head.

"Well I know you're not going back to sleep and I don't feel like leaving you alone with your thoughts so," he sat down next to Bucky, "I'll just sit right here."

Bucky glared at him and Sam had that same goofy smile on his face. Bucky rolled his eyes and said,

"Fine I'll tell you, but only in the morning. You need to go back to sleep, you have that meeting with Rhodey tomorrow remember?"

"You're right, I almost forgot about that." He stood up, "I'll hold you to that 'in the morning' thing."

"Sure thing."

"Goodnight man"

"Goodnight"

As Sam left, Bucky let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He let the events of the night catch up to him and started to panic again. He rubbed his hands down his face and started to shake. He hadn't had a nightmare that bad in months, why did his brain decide to torture him now? He needed something to occupy his head, to drown out the noise. He got up, took a shower, and made his way to the common room. He wasn't going to get anymore sleep so might as well do something to entertain himself. He grabbed a book and sat himself down near the end of the couch, determined to distract his mind from the demons that took over not too long ago.

Y/N stayed with Wanda until she fell asleep. It could be her intuition or maybe just the stress of the night's events but she couldn't sleep. She couldn't help but wonder if Bucky's nightmare was caused by her healing job she did on him just a few hours ago. She went back to her room, grabbed a blanket and headed to the common room. She planned on reading a book or watch some TV but was caught off guard when she saw she wasn't alone. She and Bucky met eyes and froze. She was the first to speak up.

"Hey."

"Hi."

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yourtearsaremyink · 24 days

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It's Just This Once

Chapter 1

Hey everyone! This is my first post. This work is finished but I will be uploading the chapters weekly. (I don't really know how Tumblr works so if y'all have suggestions or tips let me know)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Not many. Bucky and his PTSD, my life choices to write this, nightmares, Bucky's regret and self hatred. Idk. There's not even language in this thing its mostly fluff.

Summary: Y/N is an Avenger, she has healing powers and uses them to patch up the rest of the team. Bucky never asks her to use her healing powers on him, except once.

Chapter Word Count: 1,912

Chapter 1: Take the Pain Away

Y/N was working in her little corner of the medical wing of the newly built Avengers Compound. All was right in her little world, well as right as her world could be since reappearing after a five year absence.

Everyone was trying their hardest to go back to normal but adapting to a life without Steve, Tony, and Natasha was far from it. Shortly before Tony and Steve's fallout, Y/N was recruited by Fury to join the Avengers Initiative. He had somehow figured out she was an enhanced and convinced her to join the team. She had hid her abilities so well in the past she had no idea how a man she had never met before found out about them. Y/N had the extraordinary ability to heal others, it had taken an insane amount of time, energy, and focus to master her powers. With the help of Wanda she had also been able to unlock another talent. She had intuition that was insanely on point so she could guide her teammates on their missions. Natasha had taught her some martial arts moves and Steve taught her how to protect herself in a fight. Y/N soon became part of the family and finally found a place where she belonged, but after a few billion people came back from nothingness, her family seemed to narrow down. She had fought in the battle against Thanos and tried, had really tried, to heal Tony with her powers but in the end it wasn't enough. She couldn't help but feel a little responsible for his death. When the battle was over and Steve left to be with the love of his life, he left so many friends behind. If Y/N couldn't heal Tony's physical wounds, maybe she could heal the emotional wounds he and Steve left behind.

Shortly after the battle she became close with the remaining Avengers. She helped guide Sam on missions as the new Captain America, she comforted Wanda after her little outburst in Westview, she even got to know Bucky a bit more. Sam had convinced him to live at the new Compound with him instead of being alone in an old apartment in Brooklyn. Every so often Sam and Bucky would limp into the med bay in need of healing. She had healed Sam several times and Wanda a few but never Bucky. He always said she shouldn't waist her energy on him, and she always replied with, "It's no trouble at all, it doesn't take that much energy." Bucky would brush it off and say his advanced healing would take care of his injuries in no time. She never really pushed it, considering what he's been through with people messing with his body, it didn't surprise her when he didn't want to be helped.

Today was nothing unusual when Sam came into the med bay with an arm around Bucky and the other around his side. Y/N hopped up from the seat at her desk and began walking to the two men.

"What did you do this time?"

"This idiot took a bullet for me." Bucky spoke up as he helped Sam into a bed.

"Hey don't be mad at me for saving your life." Sam snapped back. He was taking off part of his uniform so Y/N could assess the injury properly.

"I have better healing than you, I would have been just fine." Bucky countered.

"I'll be fine! I have the best healer in the world right here, right doc?" Sam shot a quick smirk at Y/N as she started to heal him. A light purple glow emitted from her hands as she closed the wound on Sam's torso.

"Just because I can heal you in seconds doesn't mean you can be reckless."

Sam's smirk faded as Bucky gave a short "Ha" in victory. Y/N noticed Bucky was holding his left arm with his right and had a few bruises on his face.

"I could always heal you too Bucky if you need it."

"It's fine doll, these bruises will be gone in a couple hours." He said as he gestured to his face. Y/N turned her attention back to Sam as she finished up her work.

"All done." She said as she removed her hands. "Go clean up, Wanda and I are making dinner soon."

She grabbed a cloth and wiped some of the blood off her hands.

"You're the best doc. " Sam gave her a quick hug and headed out with Bucky. As they left she saw how tight the muscles in Bucky's were. With all of the experience Y/N had with healing people, she was able to see how much he was hurting. It could just be the stress of the mission so she didn't think much of it.

Later that evening while Y/N was cooking with Wanda, she once again noticed Bucky. At this point she couldn't tell if it was just stress or flat out pain. Sam was tapping away at his laptop sending a report on the mission to Fury. He didn't seem to notice the tight expression Bucky was wearing. Bucky was absentmindedly rubbing his left shoulder where metal met flesh, he looked exhausted.

"You good Buck?"

He glanced up at her removing his hand from his shoulder and said,

"Yeah, I'm fine. " with a half hearted smile.

She hoped that a warm meal would help. Y/N loved to cook, especially with Wanda, she loved seeing people's faces when they ate the food she made. Pretty much everyone else was away from the compound so it was just the four of them. Wanda had suggested they make soup since Autumn came out of nowhere and settled in New York. They set the table and listened to Sam talk about the mission he and Bucky had just endured. Bucky let Sam do all the talking for once and kept quite happily enjoying the warm food. The creases in his features slowly melted away as he finished the soup. Once the story was finished and the dining room was cleaned up, everyone said their goodnights and started off to their rooms, all expect Y/N.

"You're not going to sleep?" Wanda had asked when she saw Y/N going towards the elevator instead of her room.

"I have some work left to finish since I was so rudely interrupted earlier." She had turned her head to Sam with a smile.

"Hey don't come at me." He said with his hands up in a surrendering gesture as he walked to his room.

She gave a small laugh, "Goodnight guys."

Y/N headed down to her lab and picked up where she left off. She was running some lab work on some blood samples when she heard thunder shake the building. It startled her enough for her to nearly drop her test tube. Soon after she heard rain begin to pound on the walls of the Compound. She glanced at the clock as it struck 1:00 am.

"Just a little longer." She whispered as she resumed her work.

Bucky was sitting in his bed when he heard Thunder boom outside his window. He hadn't slept since coming to his room, too stressed from the mission and in too much pain. He knew the rain was coming, he felt it in his bones, but that didn't make it any less unsettling. He truly felt like an old man knowing rain was coming by the way his prosthetic arm felt. The mission had caused a few unpleasant memories to resurface and that made his mind uneasy. All of that combined together resulted in a dull headache and an unbearable amount of phantom pain in his left arm. His shoulder was throbbing and it felt as if he was being stabbed by a hundred needles where his metal arm occupied where his flesh should be. His breathing was laboured and heavy, he was so close to a panic attack it wasn't even funny. The weather hadn't helped either, it made him feel cold and achey. He tried so hard to keep it together but the pain became too much. He needed relief and there was one person he could think of to help. He hated the idea of Y/N using her healing powers on him when she could use them for something much more valuable. He didn't want to inconvenience her with his pain but it was becoming agonizing. He sat and thought it over for a few more minutes when he finally caved and made his way down to her lab. He stood at the door and sighed,

"It's just this once."

Y/N was just about finished when she heard a small knock at the lab entrance. She got up and walked towards the door, she wasn't expecting to see Bucky when she opened it. He stood with his hand clutching his metal shoulder, his hair was unkempt and he had bags under his eyes.

"Hey, I thought you went to bed. Is everything okay?"

"Uh, not really. I hate to ask you this, especially this late, but-"

Suddenly thunder echoed through the lab and Bucky squeezed his eyes shut and his breath began to shake, using his hand to add more pressure to his shoulder.

"My shoulder hurts, and my arm too kinda." He looked down not wanting to meet her eyes.

"Like phantom pain?" She questioned

"Y-yeah, it feels like pins and needles. The vibranium feels heavy."

"Are you asking me to help you?" She asked in disbelief.

"I-if you don't want to that's fine I can manage."

"No, no come in, sit down."

She led him to one of the beds and guided his hand off his shoulder, eager to work on the one person she hadn't helped.

He winced in pain as he moved, his hand letting up the pressure it was omitting on his upper arm.

"Sorry," she stepped back for a second, "I need you to take off your shirt." In the dimly lit lab she could see him blush a little. "It'll be better if I have direct contact to the skin."

He complied, slowly and painfully taking off his blue Henley. She walked around to the side of the bed to begin.

"I'm just going to put my hands on your shoulder, okay?"

He gave a very tight nod and she began. Her hands danced across the mess of scar tissue where metal crept into his skin. She couldn't help but felt bad for what Hydra did to him. His breath hitched but his back slowly became more relaxed. She could feel his heart rate slowing and his breath even out.

"I'm halfway done, are you okay? " she was concerned. She had never been able to do this for Bucky before and didn't know how he'd react.

"Mhmm." he seemed content.

She stopped and moved to his front to place her hands on his collar bone. She tried not to make it too awkward by making eye contact but she glanced up anyway and met his blue eyes. They both quickly looked away and Y/N turned her attention back to his arm. She stopped when she felt she couldn't do anything more to help with the pain.

"Done, does that feel better?"

He immediately brought her in for a hug and whispered a quite,

"Thank you."

She hugged back happily,

"You're welcome."

It gets better I promise. It was originally a one shot but it evolved.

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