#psa to anyone coming here now this has notes yes this is from an old article and I know this already

[mellotronmkll]

This is so awesome

#The article makes it kinda sound like it's just for his sons but he's been obsessed with trains forever himself #Like Phil we know it's for you #psa to anyone coming here now this has notes yes this is from an old article and I know this already #It's from 2008 he's not releasing anything anytime soon I know

[lady-divine-writes]

Klaine Advent Drabble Challenge 2020 - “Meeting in the Middle” (Rated PG13)

Summary: A petty argument between Kurt and Blaine leads to a heavy confession. (2133 words)

Notes: Written for the @klaineadvent Drabble Challenge 2020 prompt 'meet'. Warning for mention of Blaine’s infidelity and a mention of sexual harassment.

Read on AO3.

“It’s a reindeer.”

“It is not a reindeer.”

“That is absolutely a reindeer.”

Blaine huffs, crossing his arms over his chest and turning away from his husband, leaving enough leeway so that he can still give him a serious case of side-eye. “It can’t be a reindeer!”

“Why not?” Kurt snaps. “Because you say so?”

“Look at those stumpy antlers. Reindeer have huge antlers!”

“How do you know? Huh? Do you suddenly work for Wild America? Did you get an internship you’re not telling me about? Did you take a Learning Annex course?”

“No ...” Blaine gears up for an argument, a bullet-pointed list prepared for his defense perched on the tip of his tongue, waiting to launch. But at the last minute, he shifts in his seat and backs down. “I just … I just … know. All right?”

“Right. Because you know everything.”

“I never said that.”

“You implied it! You’re apparently some unsung expert in the field of zoology! Meanwhile, it seems that the longer we stay married, the less you know me!”

"That's finally something we can agree about!"

"Oh! So you admit you don't know me?"

"No! You don't know me!"

“Maybe I don't know you! But you should know by now that I can’t tank a relationship with a high-profile client every time your ego gets a little bruised!”

"What? Do you honestly think ...?" Blaine stares at his husband - hurt and heartbreak filling his eyes when Kurt doesn't back down, not even an inch. "I'm right," he says sadly, inching away even further. "You don't know me."

“Oh my God!” Santana groans from the back seat. “Can you both put a pause on acting like drama llamas for five seconds!? We are going to die out here! If I don't get to see my wife and daughter again because of you two Necco wafers, I am going to find you guys in the afterlife and ruin every sexual experience you attempt to have!"

"Don't talk to me about being a drama llama," Kurt grumbles. "He's the one who started it."

"Fine," Blaine says, defeated. "I started it. Does that make you feel better? Does that make everything okay again? Because doing this after every Vogue function is getting exhausting." 

"It's not every Vogue function," Kurt concedes. "Just the ones Trevor Atley attends. You know, my new client who's about to elevate my status as a fashion editor? The one you seem to think is always flirting with me?"

"Maybe you should just start leaving me at home."

"Maybe I should!"

"Quit it!" Santana scolds. "Both of you! You're not in high school anymore."

"Thank God," both men mutter in unison.

"Everyone knows the two of you love each other more than your Gucci luggage, so why don't we set the angst aside and focus on the issue at hand. How are we getting out of this mess?"

Neither Kurt nor Blaine answer, staring out their respective windows, doing their best to ignore the problem.

And each other.

Santana sighs in frustration. "Do you two need the number of a good couples' counselor?" she offers. "Because I have one I can give you if it will bring you guys back to reality!”

Kurt and Blaine perk up, turning their attention back to the conversation.

“You and Brittany went to counseling?” Blaine asks.

“Well ... yeah," Santana replies self-consciously. "There’s no shame in that."

"Why?" Kurt asks. "If you don't mind me asking?"

Santana shrugs. She may have minded any other time, but she'll come clean, seeing as this is an emergency. 

"There was a time when Brittany thought the ghost of Lord Tubbington was trying to split us up."

"O-oh," Blaine says. "That's ... interesting."

"I personally thought, you know, it might not be that. That it might be something deeper. So we went to a professional and talked things out.”

“Wow," Kurt says. "That’s very mature of you guys.”

“Yeah, well, we have our moments. I wish it was contagious!"

Kurt and Blaine roll their eyes and retreat to the safety of their corners.

"Look," Santana tries, desperate for a resolution, "I think you guys might be suffering from a good, old-fashioned failure to communicate.”

“And why do you think that?”

“Because most couples do. You spend so much time with one another, you get to a point where you assume you can read each other’s minds. Then you get offended when that’s not the case.”

“So what are we supposed to do about that now? How’s that going to get us out of the hole that we’re in?”

“Why don’t you start one truth at a time? Meet in the middle. Kurt, you reveal something to Blaine, and for every one thing you tell him, he has to tell you one thing back.”

Blaine wraps his arms defiantly over his chest, looking more like a pouting middle schooler than a grown man. “I will if he will." 

"Will you?" Kurt bites. "Because you seem to think there are things I can’t handle before you even tell me what they are!"

"Because you usually go off the deep end no matter what I say! Especially if you think I'm keeping a secret!"

"Well, excuse me, but the last time you kept secrets from me, you’d slept with someone else!"

The car becomes tight with quiet until Blaine sighs. "Fair enough."

"Sometimes I get the feeling that you're waiting for me to do the same," Kurt continues. "That no matter how much I tell you I love you, that I forgive you, you're waiting for me to find an opportunity to hurt you.”

"Ooo. Kurt starts out strong," Santana says, taking it upon herself to moderate. "Blaine? Your turn."

Blaine shoots Santana an unamused look. “I used to feel that way. I'll admit it. Because I thought I would definitely deserve it if you did cheat on me. But that's not the case here. Not with Trevor. The truth is …" Blaine curls against the window a bit, curls in on himself a bit "... I don’t like him. At all. It’s not even a personality thing. He makes me uncomfortable. Like ... Terry Crews … Brendan Fraser … uncomfortable.”

The air around them is tense. It's cold. So cold that Kurt's hands hurt. But he feels none of it.

He feels nothing.

He's gone numb.

Blaine's confession is nowhere in the vicinity of what Kurt expected to hear. He thought for sure that this entire issue surrounded Blaine's jealousy. His insecurity. Kurt's suspicions had been corroborated by reliable sources.

Namely Isabelle.

The Vogue gossip mill didn't work in his favor this time.

But he shouldn't need it. How did he not catch on to this?

“Do you mean to tell me …” Kurt swallows hard, already planning the outfit he’s going to wear when he rips that asshole Trevor a new one “… he touched you?”

“N-not yet.”

“Not yet! What do you mean not yet!?”

“I’ve heard rumors. And he … he looks at me. Makes comments. I know if it came down to it, I could handle myself with him … physically. But there’s so much more to consider."

"Consider? What else is there to consider? What are you weighing against the possibility of sexual assault?" Kurt screeches when he should remain calm, but he can't help himself. He didn't have a clue about this! But he's not just pissed at Trevor.

He's livid at himself.

"I was afraid it would put your job at stake. And my reputation. If I call him out on rumors and I’m wrong, it could tank both of our careers. Neither of us would ever work again. But I don’t want to wait until he does something. I don’t ... I don't want to be touched. Not by him.”

“Oh, honey. Of course not." Kurt puts a hand on Blaine's shoulder and waits, sees if he wants to be comforted. A single touch is all it takes for Blaine to roll towards his husband and melt in his arms. "I'm nice to him because of that stupid contract, but I can't stand him, to be honest. The whole night, I was hoping you would come over, hang all over me, stake your claim like a Neanderthal. It didn't dawn on me that there might be some other reason you were keeping your distance."

"I should have told you.”

Kurt squeezes Blaine tight. “Yes, you should have told me!" 

“I’m sorry, Kurt. I just got … overwhelmed. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I didn’t want you to do anything that would jeopardize this contract, but …”

“Blaine! You’re my husband! No contract in the world means more to me than you!”

“I ... didn’t know what to do.”

“I’ll tell you what we’re going to do," Kurt says, his voice shaking with rage. "In the morning, we’re going to call Isabelle, and contact the legal team at Vogue for a consult. Then we’ll hit this asshole with a two-fisted punch. I’ll have my team do an expose, try to find anyone who might be willing to blow the whistle on this guy. But we’ll also run a series of PSAs on sexual harassment, and how it can affect anyone. You’ll be in one of them! That way, even if we never say this guy’s name out loud, he’ll know we have his number. If he doesn’t start backing down after that, then I’ll invite him to an intimate lunch at my office, talk things out one-on-one.”

“Make that two-on-two,” Santana pipes up from the backseat. “It’s more fun when we threaten assholes together, remember?” She offers Kurt her fist to bump, and, caught up in the moment, he does.

Blaine straightens up, finds a tissue to blot his eyes. “You guys don’t have to do all that.”

“Yes, we do!" Kurt says, concerned that his husband would consider backing down from this fight, especially seeing that Kurt was in a similar boat when the two of them first met. At the time, it was Blaine coming to the rescue, back when the only thing at stake was a mark on his so-called permanent record. Now they're older, and the stakes are higher, which is why Kurt has to do everything he can to return the favor. "I’m not standing for this, Blaine! Not in a million years!”

Blaine smiles at his passionate husband, looking more relaxed than he has over the past three weeks of functions and parties. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Blaine leans forward and gives his husband a kiss - a small kiss at first, but it goes on longer ... and longer, Santana grimacing as she sinks into her seat, praying the leather will swallow her whole and shoot her out the exhaust pipe to freedom. But then the car rocks back and forth, and oh!

How quickly they forget.

Kurt and Blaine get so wrapped up in one another, in love and relief, they don't seem to notice when the car shakes again, more violently.

But Santana, in the middle of sending a text to her wife, pops up.

“Great!" Santana cheers in an anxious voice. "We have a plan to deal with that asshole, and love is the law of the land again! Fantastic! Now - how are we going to handle Rudolph the Red-nosed Roid machine?” She gestures out the window to their original problem, the one they forgot about in the heat of the moment - a giant buck standing in front of Blaine's BMW, head lowered, ramming into the bumper as if attempting to flip them over.

He may have stubby antlers, but he sure knows how to use them.

“We should call 9-1-1," Kurt says.

“I’m calling Triple A," Blaine says.

“What is Triple A going to do?” Kurt snaps.

“I don’t know. But they might be a bit better prepared than 9-1-1.”

“How in the world do you figure that?”

“Because Triple A’s sole purpose is helping motorists out of a jam. They might have deer deterrent or a special horn or something.”

“What!?”

“It makes sense, Kurt!”

“No it doesn’t!”

"And what are the police going to do?"

"Hello? Police have guns!"

“Before the two of you get started again, this is what we’re going to do." Santana points to Blaine. "You call Triple A." She points to Kurt. "You call 9-1-1. Meanwhile, I’m going to save the day.”

“Who are you calling?” Kurt asks.

“Domino's Pizza.”

“And why is that considered saving the day?"

“I'll bet you $50 delivery will not only get here faster, they’ll be packing mace. Plus, they'll bring food. Listening to the two of you bitch really drains the life out of a person.”

#klaine advent 2020 #klaine advent: meet #klaine fanfiction #klaine fic #klaine

[vonnyphant]

To Blog or Not to Blog?

“You should start a diary and write about your experiences. It may help people going through the same thing.”

Honestly? If there’s one thing I discovered about this diagnosis, it’s that it makes me pretty damn selfish. I don’t want to help other people (not just yet, anyway). But putting some thoughts down about this time in my life may be of some sort of therapeutic value, and I do want to help myself. 

(Maybe for once, saving the world can wait. Do you remember how, soon after the pandemic hit, people stopped avoiding plastic and single-use items? When your health is at risk, suddenly rainforests and polar bears and the planet are deprioritised- not that anyone will admit to this. But this is my diary and I can say what I want!* Writing for myself it is.)

Having established my less-than-Mother-Theresa-like reasons for this blog, my conscience cleared, it’s time to start. This is where the Lifetime movie shows me, in a half daze, mellowed out on drugs while they sew a mediport into my chest to start administering chemicals. A fast lane to my bloodstream. A docking station. The soundtrack? Hopefully ‘Across The Universe’ by the Beatles (possibly Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. If I get a say in it, I veto The Walrus) Time to pump this body full of drugs that’ll make my hair fall out. 

Wait, what?

Voice Over: “Yep. That’s me. You’re probably wondering what I am doing here…” //record scratch - freeze frame - fast rewind to the psychedelic outtro of A Day In The Life//

Two months ago, during rub-a-dub-in-the-tub (less naughty than it sounds, was just washing myself), my mind inexplicably went to an episode of Beverly Hills 90210, s1 (aired in 1992- yes, I am that old), where Brenda Walsh has a breast cancer scare. I say inexplicably, because my usual shower fantasies do not include Ms Shannon Doherty - if I was going to pick a shower lady, I’d opt for Charlize Theron, Kiera Knightly or Winona Ryder in their short-hair phases, but that is neither here nor there. 

Say what you want for 90s television- weird outfits and ponytails notwithstanding, in their AfterSchoolSpecial PSA way, they dedicated a whole scene to the girls giving themselves a breast exam, including how-to instructions**, and eventhough I was only 11 years old when I saw it, I remembered what to do, and for the last 30 years, every now and then I have randomly carried it out while wondering how I always preferred Brandon over Dylan and how my tastes have changed over time.

But this time - my hand actually found something.

I took a deep breath and calmed myself down the same way I did after finding spots on my skin, lumps on my head and every time I sneezed since covid-19; by telling myself to fucking snap out of my hypochondria tendencies. One cannot go to the doctor every damn day after all. Breast tissue is pretty lumpy and I assumed it was just imaginary. I made an appointment to see a therapist, and  put it out of my mind until a few weeks later, when one of the kids came crashing down on me (literally) and faceplanted in my boob (as they do). 

Now this always hurts af, but it just hurt that little more that day, so that I grabbed the appendage in question and went “WHAT THE--!” And I felt it again- the lump, more defined than a few weeks before. 

Cue a lot more freaking out than the first time, and after a sleepless night, imagining what my funeral would look like (as one does), I decided to go to the gynocologist the same day or risk never to sleep again.

After a long wait and an ultrasound, my doctor assured me that while there really was a mass, it had every indication of being benign. We should keep an eye on it. If I was worried, I could schedule a second screening, but would not likely get an appointment before April. I scheduled one and tried to focus on preparing our first lockdown Christmas. 

But over the holidays, the lump started hurting, even when I wasn’t poking it or having a kid catapult themselves into my chest. I’d be Netflix and Chilling, and suddenly - ZAP - like someone stuck a hot needle into it. Repeatedly. My nipple would go numb or start tingling like a bodypart that fell asleep. It freaked me out, and in the new year, I realised I couldn’t wait until April - I had to get it checked out again or I may worry myself to death.

My gynocologist did another ultrasound and again, told me not to worry. I told her it was way too late for that as I had been worried for weeks, and I wanted the thing biopsied (they gave Brenda Walsh one too, after all! It’s the only way to be 100% sure). She referred me to the hospital. At the description of my symptoms, I could come directly, and the radiologist told me in no unclear terms: “I will not let you leave this room until we draw blood and take several biopsies.” Okay- not exactly what one wants to hear at that point, but at the same time, I figured knowing would be better than guessing by the shape of it.

Test results took a week. I went in, being prepared to be told (like Brenda) it was a harmless clump of random cells or a cyst we could have removed like a wart. Only it wasn’t. It was breast cancer, an aggressive, fast-growing kind, and had I waited until April, that could have had disastrous consequences.

While the doctor explained we now needed to determine the scope of the spread and take more tissue to determine what kind of chemo (if any) could be applied, all my 2020-PTSD brain could think was: 

“.............of course”. 

Didn’t hear much of what she said afterwards.

Another harrowing 4 days went by, with a CT screening with contrast solutions that gave me an intense stomach ache as well as a migraine, and finally, a fully rounded diagnosis and treatment advice could be made. 

Thankfully, all my organs as well as lymphnodes were clear, so it appears to be a localised tumor. And here we are - to fight this thing with chemicals and then cut out whatever is left. Genetics testing to see about the likelihood of a recurrency (and a possible double mastectomy if so - ‘pulling an Angelina Jolie’, ‘not saving the tatas’, insert ‘Think About It meme’...can’t have breast cancer if you don’t have breasts! THINK ABOUT IT***). 

Chances are good. I need to cling to that while I wait for this port and treatment to start. I have accepted the inevitable hair loss, have scheduled a ritual ‘crazy hair cutting party’ with my kids for this weekend (as I would rather shave it off in one go than clean up clumps and strands over the course of weeks and look like Gollum), and I have sewn several funny little hats for inside wear and ‘going out’ (though where will I be going in pandemic, idk). 

I was going to end this post on a light and happy note - but I must admit my confidence just took a really big hit in real time, as I googled how to spell Shannon’s last name for this blog entry and found out that she was treated for breast cancer in 2015, initially succesfully, but it reappeared metastasized in 2020 (again: ‘of course...when else’) and she is now in stage IV. Fuck 2020.

What are the odds that the woman whose character made me discover my own breast cancer is now, in fact, dying of the same disease? This will surely haunt me for a long time to come.

More tomorrow? Or soon? It may take a while. Until then: outro to It’s Getting Better.

*also for the record I would like to state that I’ve sewn my own masks from upcycled pillowcases and continued using fruit- and vegetable nets to avoid plastic; maybe that makes up for me being utterly selfish at the moment. Karma +1?

** https://youtu.be/pkgYXITkrfw (the scene from BH 90210)

***cis men / trans women without breasts can also get breast cancer (even though it’s rare) so this meme doesn’t really hold up, but that’s the whole point of the meme ;)

[homieno]

PSA for everyone

 I know with everything that’s going on right now we are all feeling very stressed and a lot of us are feeling quite lonely. I haven’t seen anyone talking about it but i feel it’s important to acknowledge that this pandemic is going to cause a spike in suicide and suicide attempts. And just a downfall in mental health in general! This is a service post and I’m reminding and urging everyone to stay safe and not let the depression win. Though we are separated, we are all in this together. 

TIPS FOR STAYING BUSY

-Crafts! I work at michaels and since this outbreak has started we’ve been super busy, everyone is buying craft supplies for themselves and their children and it’s a very valid thing to prioritize! So keep yourself busy by learning a new skill or craft, or practicing one you already know! You’re isolated remember so it doesn’t have to be good! it’s for yourself

- Reading! I’m assuming the Fic content is going to skyrocket soon with everyone being stuck at home so we should be able to keep ourselves endlessly busy with that but also real books! There is something so comforting about holding a psychical copy in your hand and getting lost. Romanticize it; curl up with your favourite blanket, a candle and a cup of tea (or coffee or water) and get lost in a story. Get lost in another life that isn’t this one right now. 

I really like to use a site called ambientmixer when I’m reading or writing. It lets you pick a place in the world and it plays the background noises making it seem like you’re in that place! I usually put on the hogwarts library or coffeeshop and it’s very subtle 

-And on that note as well! Writing!! Write stuff down, write about anything. It doesn’t have to be good, it doesn’t have to be an entirely well structured plot line, it doesn’t have to be posted. Write for yourself, do things for yourself in this time. It’s easy to get overwhelmed at a blank page but just remember you have all the time in the world right now. 

-Learn something new; a new language, a new skill, anything! Try and dedicate a little time to it each day, and make sure it’s something that makes you happy. Love Space? Try and learn some things about stars and galaxies. Love mythology? There are infinite online resources and stories. We’re all going to come out of this as much more interesting people this way. 

-Clean clean clean. Hey, it’s still spring right? That’s the ultimate time to do a big deep clean and this way it doesn’t have to be an entire day committed to cleaning your entire house. I know for me knowing i have so much to do in such little time makes me tired just at the thought of it. So take this opportunity and space things out, as little or as much as you want. But I think this is very important because a big trigger for a lot of mental and emotional stress is the environment we live in and it’s more important than ever to have a calm space. 

Here’s a link by another tumblr user about cleaning when it seems overwhelming

-Redecorate! We all know the feeling of when we were kids and we’d move our room around and feel like a new person. And quite honestly we all need that feeling in our lives every once in a while.

-Start a new series, or rewatch an old loved series. While it’s important that we don’t spend our entire time on the couch let’s also be real, we are the netflix and chill generation and we’re just lying to ourselves if we don’t think we’re gonna spend a day or 5 binging TV. So pull up your streaming site, pick a good show, grab some snacks and come back to this post in 2-5 business days. 

-Meditate. I find that people often associate meditation with spirituality and higher power stuff, which yes in spiritual practice meditation is very important but that’s mostly for it’s ability to calm and center people. It’s going to be very easy to find yourself overwhelmed and anxious when you’re alone with your thoughts 24/7 and meditation can be really beneficial. It’s very simple too and not as daunting as you might think! You can find a quiet space and sit or lay down, it can be done on your bed if you’d like! And you can play some soft music (without lyrics or something soft like a coffee house playlist), or listen to a podcast even, this can be done in silence also! You don’t have to do anything other than stay still and try and focus your thoughts. To stop them from becoming entirely overwhelming. There’s so many good videos for breathing exercises and some really good guided meditations as well if you’d like to be told exactly what to do. The purpose of this is just to ground yourself and give yourself some time to be calm and have control of your thoughts.

Here are some links to videos:

1 

2 

3

Now I can give you all these tips and ideas for staying sane but we also need to face the fact that when you’re struggling with mental illness as so many of us are it’s impossible to just ignore those thoughts and feelings. It’s very important that we reach out before things get too hard. I’d also like to say that if you’re feeling depressed or anxious and you need to talk you don’t have to be planning on attempting suicide or hurting yourself. Help lines and crisis lines are for anybody and I know you may be feeling like your issues are bad enough to reach out but they are! and you should reach out before they get worse! My DM’s are also always open to people who need to talk, I am not a professional but I’ve been there myself and I know sometimes it can help to just dump all of your problems into someones inbox, let that be mine. 

Here are some Crisis and help lines that can help save a life:

Crisis Service Canada 1-833-456-4566 and you click on the link for more information and the instructions for Texting a crisis line

National Suicide prevention Hotline [phone] (United States)

Europe Hotlines

Crisis Textline UK

AGAIN! These crisis lines are not just for suicidal people, it is important to reach out if you are feeling mentally ill and you need help. You do not need to be standing on a ledge in order to ask for help. 

Stay connected with your loved ones during this time and try not to isolate yourself more than you already are. Text and call your friends, connect with new people online (but be safe)

Do happy things!

Write your best friend daily letters and give it to them at the end of this whole thing and let that be something to look forward to, create something for someone else and let that be a drive to make it through this. 

Everybody please do everything you can to stay safe during this hard time and do not be afraid to reach out! Your feelings are always valid and you are not being needy or annoying for wanting to talk to people all the time and wanting attention! Those feelings are valid! You are not being dramatic if you’re feeling super depressed or anxious! Your feelings are always Valid! I love you all and I’m so sorry this is something we are going through.

This virus is an attack on our Physical health but just as importantly it is very much so affecting our mental health!

Please feel free to add things in order to provide more resources and help for everyone!

#covid19 #corona #self care #psa #signal boost #tip #cleaning #crafts #art #helpline #suicide #mental health #mental illness #depression #eating disorder

[imaginaryfriendcomic]

a long, meta PSA

Hello, my good readers! Firstly, I’m very glad to see we’re almost reaching 1k followers, and I’m still very determined to finish the next page - I’m nearly done with the whole layout!

Though what I want to talk about today is something I’ve been thinking for a while. As many of you may know, Imaginary Friend was technically going to be a comic adaptation of the original fanfiction I posted a long time ago. Now, I’m not saying I’m going to change the entire plot, yet there’s something in there that’s actually been bothering me, now that I think of it: and that’s about Gaster being a dad before the Void. Please read the whole post before commenting or sending asks!

*SPOILERS FOR THE ORIGINAL STORY

TRIGGER WARNINGS - MENTIONS OF ABUSE AND NEGLECT

Even from the first 23 pages, you know that Gaster is drowning in his sorrows and regrets. He keeps saying how he failed at being the Royal Scientist, for not being able to free everyone, and at being a father to Sans and Papyrus. If anyone has gotten to the fanfiction already, it’s claimed that Gaster used to overwork himself and did not spend a lot of time with his sons, and that “he pushed them away.” I’ll be including some chapter pieces here to prove my points:

LIKE I SAID, I WAS THE ROYAL SCIENTIST. I MARRIED A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AND HAD TWO CHILDREN. MY WIFE, UNFORTUNATELY, PASSED AWAY... THE ONLY GOOD THINGS I HAD IN MY LIFE THEN WERE SANS AND PAPYRUS. I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING TO GIVE THEM A GOOD LIFE, WHICH MADE ME WORK EVEN HARDER AFTER MY WIFE WAS GONE. BUT THEN  I STARTED BEING SO FOCUSED ON WORK THAT I DIDN'T REALLY GIVE THEM MUCH ATTENTION. I BARELY SPENT TIME WITH THEM. WHEN I WAS IN A BAD MOOD, I USUALLY TOLD THEM TO LEAVE ME ALONE... I WASN'T A GOOD FATHER.

(chapter 2)

He let his wife die; nothing he had done to cure her from her disease worked. He neglected Sans and Papyrus, barely spent time with them and... treated them like they were just a burden in his life, when they really weren't. He had failed at freeing monsters, he had broken everyone's trust. He had disappointed everyone. He had had one job, and he failed.

(chapter 7)

It’s even implied that Sans looked after Papyrus on his own, too, which is further confirmed in the sequel I made, You’re Home Now (which contains Grillby x Gaster, just warning you guys).

He was very proud of them, despite Sans being lazy... His elder child did a great job taking care of Papyrus when he was younger (...).

(chapter 1)

The little Sans was home (in their very, very old house, the one located in New Home), watching television with young Papyrus. It was already late, the babysitter hadn't been able to come over, leaving Sans the responsibility of taking care of himself and his little brother, which wasn't that bad. Despite being a kid, Sans was actually responsible enough for his father to trust him at this task, though Papyrus could give some hard work sometimes.

(You’re Home Now, chapter 2)

Maybe this hasn’t crossed in anyone’s minds - if they’ve already read the fic - and well, I’m unsure if I’m overthinking this since I didn’t get that much depth to the original story, but this is my work, after all. I wrote this more than 3 years ago, so I’m looking back at it with a more critical perspective. Thus, this aspect about Gaster’s parenting has been bothering me recently.

I’m aware that many children have gone through this; being forced to look after themselves, their siblings or even their own parents (the latter isn’t quite the case here but anyway), as the adults fail to do what they’re supposed to - of taking care of their family and providing them love, attention and everything else. The lack of any of these things has been normalized in many households, and most of the time kids don’t realize how harmful it might be to them, because their own feelings aren’t validated. Since they’re forced to take in the role of the responsible parent, the adult, they excuse and justify their parents’ misdeeds.

Surely, in the original Imaginary Friend, Gaster acknowledges he wasn’t the best dad, yet now that I come to read it again, it never feels like he’s truly called out for that. Alright, he’s already being punished by the loneliness and helplessness for decades inside the Void, and he does show genuine remorse for his actions. Regardless, I feel like I’ve made excuses for his failures at being a parent. I feel like I used the “but he didn’t mean to!” excuse that so many people adopt when we’re talking about abusive and neglectful parents. I used Frisk, a character who I headcanon to have been abused by their biological parents, to justify that Gaster wasn’t all that bad:

"Don't say that! I think they would be glad to see you again." Frisk assured him. "I mean, you deeply cared about them and did everything to offer them proper conditions and-"

YES, BUT... I HAVE NOT GIVEN THEM ENOUGH LOVE AND AFFECTION. He sighed sadly.

Frisk sighed too. They had a feeling that Sans and Papyrus didn't hate him. They just knew it, but Gaster didn't believe.

"But... they never gave up on you, right?" They asked.

(...)

"I would've really liked to have a father who would do everything to give me a good life."

Gaster, curious, looked at the child. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

"Toriel is my mom now, and she's the best, but... I've never had a father that cared about me." Frisk admitted. "You know... before I fell into the Underground. My real parents weren't... great. They were very mean to me, specially my father."

(...)

I AM SORRY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS.

"It's okay. At least I found great friends and a fantastic mom." Frisk said, smiling, despite remembering their mean parents. "You are a way better father than my real one. You shouldn't say you're the worst."

Gaster didn't answer.

"You may have not spent much time with them, but I don't think Sans and Papyrus wouldn't be happy to see you." Frisk said.

BUT I MADE THEM FEEL LIKE THEY WERE ANNOYING ME... I SHOULD HAVE NEVER DONE THAT.

"I understand, but, just so you know... I think you already made it clear to them that you cared about them, which is why they were always there for you even if you distanced yourself."

(chapter 2)

Sans and Papyrus don’t hold grudges against their father, either, and yet, now that I realize it, the former presents the same “pushing away” behavior Gaster presumably adopted. In the very least, Sans is called out for it, but I never explicitly connected that to how his father treated them:

"SANS, DID YOU SLEEP WELL?" Papyrus asked.

"i'm okay, pap."

"BUT YOU LOOK AWFUL-"

"papyrus, i'm okay!" Sans interrupted, sounding annoyed.

Papyrus shrunk out of fear. He had never seen Sans in that state before. He knew something was up with him, but for some reason, he was afraid of asking Sans what was wrong. His brother sounded so grumpy, he felt like he would piss him off if he asked that at the time.

(chapter 6)

"DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE THE HOUSE LIKE THAT!" Papyrus said, somehow pissed, but concerned at the same time.

"l-leave me alone." Sans managed to escape, but Papyrus wouldn't let him go.

"I JUST WANT TO TALK TO YOU! PLEASE-"

Sans teleported himself, escaping Papyrus's grip. He groaned loudly.

"SANS, OH MY GOD! STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM ME!" Papyrus yelled.

Turned out that Sans didn't teleport far away. He arrived in the same street, a few meters ahead.

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!" Papyrus yelled.

"i don't want to talk, papyrus."

"BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN JUST... TREAT ME LIKE GARBAGE!"

(chapter 9)

That’s NOT to say Gaster is evil. You could say that Gaster believes he was terrible because of his trauma from the Void. The dark dimension causes him to hallucinate things, alter his physical form and twist reality, and so that may be why Sans and Papyrus don’t hold anything against him. But the point is, I don’t feel like I’ve made that clear. And with Sans technically mirroring his past role model, I feel like the narrative swept Gaster’s bad parenting under the carpet.

This topic is very difficult to discuss, I’m very aware of that. I get that some abusers can make it different, they can change. However, that’s not what usually happens. What does happen is society underestimating and devaluating the effects of abuse on people, especially children and teenagers. Nobody tends to focus on the victims, and thus finds ways to justify the abuse. Like that, I feel like I contributed to that, too. That’s why I’m writing this post.

PLEASE NOTE: I’m very proud of having written Imaginary Friend, and I want to continue with the comic. However, I want to truly emphasize that there will be changes in the comic adaptation, and with this theme in mind, I’ll make sure I don’t unintentionally excuse bad parenting again. At the time I wrote the fic, I had no idea it might come off that way (which doesn’t mean I’m condemning myself for not noticing). I think a lot of other people haven’t had the same impression, either; yet now that I do, I want to change what this fic might have defended.

I’m very sorry for everyone who went through this situation in their childhoods, or might still be. It’s not your fault. Your parent(s)/guardian(s) should have been better, and that’ll never be on you. Maybe they “didn’t mean to”, but that doesn’t mean it’s not harmful. I wish you all the happiness and safety in the world. <3

Stay determined!

#author's posts #meta #abuse tw #neglect tw #abuse mention tw #long post #is this a callout post at myself? #maybe lmao #but still i felt the need to get this out of my chest #i might add this as a new blog page

[thestudyfeels]

100 Days of Sweat

Welcome to the official admission post for the 100 days of sweat challenge! *plays the conquer theme song and does a booty pop* This is a pretty long post, but has everything you need to start, so read on!

READING TIME: 6 minutes.

OoOh? What's that?

Thanks for coming out of the cave! In short, it's a consistency challenge to turn working out into a habit.

You've basically got to move your body for a 100 days straight. No slacking, no backing out!

Most take on this challenge personally, but I felt accountability would be great for those beginning with exercising & those who can't seem to keep their streak (cough, me).

Sounds fun! How do I join? Do I need to do a booty pop too?

Booty pops are appreciated. But here's how!

1. First things first, decide whether you'll be joining via IG, Discord or staying on Tumblr.

2. If using IG, reply to this post with your handle or (alternative) if you'd like, join Discord instead! For that, click here to join the server!

(NOTE: Those who joined via the first post I created regarding this needn't reply again! I've already added you to the list.)

3. Lastly, boost this! Reblog, get your followers to join! Drag your friend or sibling in! (already dragged my bestie into this in case no one joined in lmao)

Important PSA: yO, ANYONE can join! All my beginners and winners, young teens and old pals, drarry fans and johnlock shippers, team cold water AND hot water (sparing y'all because I stan working out more), EVERYONE!   

Here's what I'll do: 

I'm creating an IG group for those interested in staying fully committed. (Pros include making friends! Or enemies, for a hundred whole days! Some of you might even get married together, I have high hopes because wedding cake is everything)

Sayani from @studign-stars will be the admin for Discord! You can hit her up for queries, if any. 

In short, there'll be 3 separate groups. One for those joining via Discord, one for those on the IG group, and a third for those staying on Tumblr.

If you wish to use any other platforms like Snapchat and Twitter, feel free! Also plug your progress on Tumblr too so we can hype each other on! (tag stuff with #100dos)

+ That said, I highly suggest joining either one of the groups, for accountability does wonders. It's now up to you, fellow warrior.

How to prep for this challenge:

OhO! There's a whole lot prepping to be slayed. To finish this challenge as smoothly as possible, here's a few steps. Make this easier for yo’ lazy bum.

1+ Firstly, grab a marker and scrap paper (when you on a student budget, cuz same) and write down numbers from 1 to 100. I did 1 to 30 to prevent myself from being overwhelmed, but do right them numbers to gain momentum.

2+ Take couple before photos. From the front, and the side. If you don't want to, take them anyway and store it in a folder you never open. Also measure your weight, and if you have a measuring tape, take other basic measurements of the chest, waist, arm etc.

3+ Coming to the main part! Pick your 'base’ routine. This is the primary workout you wanna do 2-3 times a week. It's the main course!

For beginners, I suggest choosing a 15 min full body workout. Do try it out before you start 100 days— make sure it's challenging enough.

For those who already move their bodies, pick a workout that aligns with your long-term goals. If you want toned legs, pick a leg day routine. If you want abs, focus on abs.

My base routine is the Beginner's Bodyweight Workout (BBW) from the NerdFitness website. I do 3 sets of the entire routine (takes around 25-30 mins) thrice a week.

So, do some research and pick a workout! Doesn't have to be an hour long at all, just make sure it's time-effective and challenges you.

4+ Find your cheat day workout.

Yikes, the wording is kinda incorrect, but anything for the clickbait.

This is the workout you do 2 days a week, and is the second most important workout. (This means: 3 + 2 = 5, you’ve now got five days planned!)

I do Alexis Ren’s ab routine (I hate it) twice a week because abs are my target zone. For you, it could be arms, thighs, butt, anything!

5+ Leave your last two days for simple moving.

It's up to you to decide what's going to be cooking in the remaining two days. For suggestions, you can pick a fun activity, say yoga, handstands, cartwheels, splits, any form of dancing like hip-hop, Zumba etc.

I'm trying to do a handstand this year and get my middle splits already (I fell off track so I still have quite a way to go) so I'll be stretching and doing hand flexibility exercises in the last 2 days.

Or you can just go for a jog or a power walk. Just keep the momentum going!

A quick recap:

To summarize, you're doing a major workout 3 times a week, a toning workout (mine is abs) twice a week and a fun activity in the last two days.

Also, mix this up. Your muscles need time to heal, and I strongly emphasize leaving the next day free for lighter activities after doing a major workout. Here's my routine, as an eg:

Do remember that this is just a STARTING POINT, because we don't want you to wake up everyday and be like “wut I do today.” It's now your mission to plan your workout routine. Consider taking more workload or reduce it as per your level (this is definitely a lot, try reducing if you're just beginning).

Also important: DETERMINE your workout routine NOW. I spent 2 years (only stopped like 3 months ago) doing YouTube videos haphazardly. This works, because you are working out after all, but it's a pretty lousy method if you want consistent results. Also makes you depend on motivation to workout (which has probability results equal to me marrying Tom Felton), whereas if you had a routine, you'll have to workout because it's in your schedule and you'd be a loser to lie to your schedule.

Is this a lot? It's a lot. I know.

If this is overwhelming you, don't back away darling. Face your fears. Here are some reasons to not back out—

The entire challenge is flexible: You don't have to follow that routine ^ if you don't want to. Starting out, you can do a major workout 2 times a week and fill the other 5 days with fun stuff. You can always change the routine later, 100 days is a long ass time.

The challenge fucks with your mindset and strengthens it: 100 days of continuous movement is CRAZY. Can you imagine how strong (mentally too!) we'll all be at the end? You'll have grown so much!

Working out will become a habit: I've been working out for 2 years now, and it has positively affected every single sphere of my life. Exercising is the #1 habit I suggest everyone build. Since science says it takes 66 days to build a habit, we're ON it.

You'll be really proud of yourself: I know I'll be. I'm literally going to hug y'all at the end of it, and sing jingles about how far you've come. 2019 will have been slayed.

I could go on and on, but this is it. Now's the moment. This is about doing something you're afraid of. Taking risks. Learning, falling, getting back up.

Thence, ladies, gents and non-binary pals, THIS is the 100 days of sweat challenge. You're cordially invited to it.

(We're dramatic, yes.)

🌻 !!! MAJOR PSA & DEADLINES:

The challenge itself begins on 10th April, 2019.

You'll be added to the IG group latest by 7th April.

Because I'm your mom, I'll add everyone in, tell you the details and everything. If you’ve got any questions, jump into my inbox now and get them answered.

That said, please remember that I won't take anyone in midway (no, not even if you buy me free tacos for a year). So join in now & spread the message! The more, the merrier! Bring beer too!

Thanks for joining in! This will be promising and hugely interesting (accountability can do wonders, but we'll see). I'll be waiting for you on the other side with my stuffed animals, cIaO fReNdOs!

— Nandini (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ 💌

letting my taglist folks know (which you can join here!)

@doctorearlgray, @mintschlar, @procrastilate, @scienceandsarcasticdroids, @sxudying, @hannistudies, @vocative, @studign-stars, @ash-trological, @sweet-bean-study-queen, @chaoticstormthings, @lunetudes, @beingstudent, @beautiful-magicalbrain, @akydemics, @literery, @redvelvetstu-dies, @vivinotes, @jynsdesk, @moonshinestudies, @studying-in-chaos, @thelazyunistudent, @einstetic, @ram-the-blonde-bitch, @a-students-lifebuoy, @studahliless, @inspostudying, @the-diary-of-a-failure, @would-iwasshookethspeared, @coffeeandpies, @artsytourism, @gloomstudy, @scrolls-of-jupiter, @studytrivia, @ristudy, @isatriestostudy, @historicalbeez, @luvjoys, @indiaisstudying, @studyingunderwater, @dianeemay, @kemi-k, @londonotes, @froststudies, @pennyfynotes, @studiently, @midnightstudying, @unicorndoesstudies, @studyingundersun, @wingedprunepsychiclawyer, @tonystarkstudies, @delphinaaugery, @morganastudy, @studiies-psych, @sumastudies, @emrys-studies, @parleonstudies, @acataemic, @studylustre, @adelinestudiess, @sorcierstudies, @coffeeinfusedstudying, @pizza-and-studying, @the-third-me, @scrunchiestudies, @jemsjournals, @jas-study, @jabuticabablr, @khelmatic, @avastvdies + you, if you’re reading this!

#100dos #unicorn studying #studign-stars #inspostudying #looklibraerie #heypfyn #jacistudies #lunetudes #ash-trological #studylustre #gloomstudy #dahliless #moonshinestudies #athenastudying #heypat #heylondonotes #adelinestudiess #hanniscup #heyindia

[ruthlessnessisyourdesire-archive]

rp guidelines.

Mun is Ash. She/Her. 21+. Ruthless Drama King keeps me prisoner. 

This blog is 21+ Nsfw/smut will not be written with those under 21 years old. I will not write with minors. 

I know there are a lot of rules here now but incidents, past stuff in rp scene kind of made it mandatory for myself to put down. Common sense lacks in some too so sorry it’s so long but ya know. Gotta do what we rpers gotta do. <3

tw: potential for triggering content & subject matter due to crime scene investigations/forensic profiling. strong language expected. he is simply a problematic aggressive character in most verses.

no godmodding. unspoken rule but please do not control my character under any circumstances. if you continue to break this rule however I may have to cancel our thread. only in extreme cases.

Don’t have personal triggers but I will not write my muse forcing themselves on any other muse.

any personal triggers you are uncomfortable with I will not write and vice versa.

multiverse/oc friendly. au friendly: discussion on AU’s are love. same char different mun friendly. duplicates are always welcome. personally I love OC’s and this boy cannot get enough interaction from them ever. just so you know. 

Do not screenshot my posts: ooc, threads etc. It is MY content. I should not have to add this but yes this has happened without my knowledge - at first. 

Unfollowing: If there is something you disagree with, do not favor about my writing, portrayal, muse(s) or views the button is always there. Please soft block to unfollow. I will do the same and quietly if it calls for it. 

PSA: Don’t call 60 Connor. He is not Connor. He is his own person. This sort of trumps the significance I have built for him as an individual entity in my characterization/ headcanons/ personal iteration in a fandom where he is overlooked. Also if you do refer to him as such verbally to his face you consent to the wrath and animosity he will bestow upon you be it verbal or potentially physical. Trust me 60 is not fond of being mistaken for his predecessor. (It’s a pet peeve and I’m sorry lol but they’re two separate people. I mean I write Connor too so bear with me.)

plots are love. let's discuss story, char relationships, just anything really. down for plotted, random prompts and memes. my dm’s are always open. if I don’t respond straight away I’m either not on at the moment or I’m just swamped in drafts. I still want you to drop in tho.

replies may take a bit. this is a hobby. if I take a while it doesn’t mean I don’t want to rp. sometimes I forget, tumblr eats my notifs or I haven’t thought up a decent reply as of yet. please be patient. I always offer the same to my rp partners. also I do get swamped in drafts and asks so this does contribute to my reply speed. TLDR: I am slow af but I want to write with you.

want to drop a thread? we all lose muse, get too busy, overwhelmed at times. it is perfectly OK. when I do thread purges I will always post an update and @ those I am keeping threads with. the number of follows I have it is just easier for me to do it this way.

shipping: will ship with chars but there are some I may turn down depending on personal preference. typically ships with another RK800/RK900 are a no. sibling, platonic, enemies is where I go. some exceptions may apply depending on verse type but his exclusive and only RK800 ship is with @rob0badge . 60 also would like platonic, friend and enemy ships to counter his romantic ships. any and all are appreciated. 

open to smut threads. 21+ very explicit at times depending on verse. 60 is ruthless. fair warning. also smut is not a requirement for romantic ships. if you’re not down for that then 60 is all about the respect of his partner’s wishes.

multiship friendly: winning rk800-60's affection is not easy in the long run. remember he is not easy to get along with. 

Shipping Additions: I WILL NOT ship cross unless it is plotted mutually between all parties. even then I will be selective about it. please respect this. multiverse is a thing and that is what my blog is. it will just be ignored. 

Content Trigger: 60 is very much ruthless despite his fall into deviancy. if you are uncomfortable with intense personalities this may not be the rp blog for you. certain themes will be highly thematic, problematic and even controversial at times. all of these will be tagged accordingly and put under read more for my followers/mutuals. he will be aggressive and hateful depending on circumstances. he is not very nice. however, the mun does not reflect this characterization and is extremely nice to followers. 60 may not share that affinity but the mun has no malicious intent. Only this ruthless boy does.

threads containing 18/21+ material always go under read more. please adhere to all warnings. some subject matter may be unsettling. remember any dark or triggering themes are NOT condoned by me irl. it just needs to be said.

Interactions: non-rp blogs, personals or those not part of current threads: DO NOT REBLOG. this is becoming a problem lately and I really don’t want to be that person but please follow this rule.If you continue to do so you will be BLOCKED. You can like my posts just fine however. In fact it’s welcome! I like to see others enjoying what I write for the ruthless king.

DBH VERSE REQUIRED: It just works better to be able to write adequately and since my muse is from this universe it’s a given. I rarely do crossovers as I feel some just do not work or fit my muse. If I do they are with main mutuals depending on fandom or personal preference.

Mutual Exclusive/RP Blogs Only: This blog is now private. If you follow me and I do the same back it means I want to interact. Otherwise assume I won’t be following back if I haven’t in a week. I have had some odd things come 60′s way and it is why this blog is locked down now.

Follows: If I follow back it means I want to interact with you. If you're a mutual and you still have not interacted with me after several weeks I WILL unfollow. This is nothing against anyone or meant to be unfair/mean spirited. The blog is an rp blog so of course I want to interact with you all. Also I do not just give free follows since this is not a personal blog. 

I would love to follow back depending but if I see no rules or somewhere that states 21 and above for the mun on your blog I won’t. I interact solely with those 21+. I myself am 28 years old. Respect this and don’t lie about your age to me. I have had people lie to me in the past and they’ve been dropped faster then you can shout “Deviant Spotted!”

I reserve the right to unfollow anyone for whatever reason including but not limited to rp politics. Ya gurl not here for rp snobbery or assumptions made. If I become uncomfortable I will soft block to unfollow quietly. I also practice block back. Meaning if I’m hardblocked (which is in anyone’s right who is uncomfortable with my content) I will hardblock back. It’s only fair and honestly it’s a lovely page taken out of one of my waifu’s books.

OOC: If you post a crap ton of ooc posts (I mean plz it’s your blog and your content is yours so go for it) I may unfollow if I cannot blacklist them properly. I mean things that aren’t rp related. This is only in extreme cases. My blog has overwhelmed me so the dash being flooded is something I want to clean up.

Replies: As I have stated in updates on this blog I am super busy and backed up. My reply speed is slower due to lots of drafts and asks. You can remind me but please don’t come at me or try to push me. Muse can be fickle. Some days I have it for a specific verse, others I have it for shorter convos or text threads. I aim to reply to everyone but keep in mind running this blog is not easy and I want it be fun for me. It’s a hobby.  When I have to worry and hide from people this is no longer that. If it continues I will drop the thread completely. Only in extreme cases. 

Pressuring: Do not come into my inbox on anon passive aggressively asking when I will reply to threads. If you honestly want to remind me like a normal person my dms are open to mutuals only. Do not guilt me into rping. If you pressure and attempt manipulating me you will be blocked. This has happened and I will not put up with it. 

Please reblog any memes/prompts from the source and not this blog. I am not an rp source or creator of these. If you continue to do this and just harvest my blog for memes without even interacting I will unfollow/block. If you reblog send me one then. If not well do not do it. non-mutuals do not reblog anything at all from this blog. Also I  have to mention some people have used me as a source WITHOUT reblogging from me. Meaning they see the meme and reblog it for themselves as a means of bypassing sending in anything. If we’re mutuals why are you doing this? It will just make me think you do not want to interact.

Asks: Do not reblog asks. Please if you wish to continue make a new post and link back to ask. It just makes my dash a little cleaner and I want to avoid extra asks in the inbox continuing it when we can turn them into convo threads. So please don’t keep sending asks to continue a plot line. Thread it.

IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT HATE & ASSUMPTIONS: If I discover you sending hate on anon to anybody you’re gone. If you send hate to people about what they ship, especially to female muns/muses, you’re gone. I will not tolerate hate of any kind and if I see you talking negatively about any female muse I will soft block you quietly. I just do not want to interact with you. People who assume generalized posts are about them when I follow you will be softblocked as well. Honestly it’s a given that if I’m following it’s not directed at you. I will not put up with assumptions or continue to view it on my dash. Unfollow me, softblock me, etc. It’s not difficult. My comfort levels are important to me as well as yours should be.

I will not  interact with egoists. If I see anything that wigs me out I will just softblock quietly. Elitists go home. I don’t want you here. 

I will never rush or be pushy at my partners. I’m so chill about threads. please take your time. let’s never take the fun out of it. never think you’re taking too long or bothering me. DM’s are open to my mutuals only.

I do not do passwords or send messages of any kind. If I am following you rest assured that I have read your rules. I do this automatically when someone follows me and vice versa since I expect the same. If I’m liking update posts you can consider that me seeing it as well. 

unfollowing/refollowing: Don’t do it on my blog. If you follow and then unfollow but for some reason come back to follow you get blocked from my side. I don’t need the bs or the attention seeking.

Duplicates are amazing but I will be selective who I follow back and interact with. Nothing personal but I have been the victim of theft in the past. It’s an unfortunate thing but my characterization and headcanons for 60 are my own. I have been writing this boy forever even long before I made this blog. I’m highly protective of my ruthless king. He is my baby after all.

softblocks: I remove people by doing this. It could be for any reason to be honest. We never interact, you keep dropping our stuff, show no interest, I don’t see us interacting after all or any number of reasons to make my dash more comfortable. Do not ask me why I did it. That’s my comfort. No hard feelings. Just move on. I don’t have to cater to you. If you don’t like my methods use the unfollow button and leave my blog. Simple enough.

hardbocking/blacklisting: Yes I have done it. Am I going to blatantly broadcast it for all to see? Nope. I am not obligated to explain why I blocked you. Most times you have broken my rules despite me reminding to read them. Other times there are people I just do not want to see and that is my right not to see them. Same goes for you. Block me if you do not like what you see. I will not censor myself, my writing or who I interact with.

ostracizing people in the rpc: If you don’t like who I am interacting with use your blacklist function. NEVER tell me not to interact with them. If I find out you practice this exclusion tactic on others in the rpc I will purge you off my blog no questions or explanation needed. I totally get it. There are people I don’t like. No one is going to like everyone but do you see me telling others NOT to write with them? Hell no because I know for a fact they have done it to me and others love to listen without all sides to a story.

I also drop people who vague in public servers because it’s straight up childish behavior. I also will not follow or interact with anyone who guilt trips, suicide baits or lies with a pity party song and dance. When you’re found out to be lying or telling other people not to interact with somebody in this RPC I want nothing to do with you. Move on. That’s it. 

Drop a like if you made it this far. Whew! No passwords needed. Even if you don’t drop a like it won’t prevent me interacting it’s just nice to see. 

#[ooc files] #{~status: updates} #{~status: guidelines} #{{rule post to be linked for a more mobile friendly view}} #{{new rules fully integrated}} #{{thank you loves}}

[amphtaminedreams]

Cannes Film Festival 2019: Best Dressed

Forget the Met Gala everyone, real ones know that the Cannes Film Festival is the fashion event of the year! In part because it lasts for 12 whole days so there’s more content to sit there in my pyjamas analysing but also because it’s way less hyped up and thus less likely to leave you disappointed, a fate I’ve now resigned myself to with the Met. For almost 2 weeks, the richest, most out of touch people in the world spend their days looking pretty on a red carpet and judging films; I should be grossed out, but it’s more a case of just wishing I was there. So I present to you a collection of my favourite looks! 

Winnie Harlow (left), in Jean Paul Gaultier here, was one of my stand outs this year. Yes, I remember her from America’s Next Top Model and yes, I’m going to blame the edit, because LOOK AT THAT FUCKING STANCE. I’m in awe. This is my favourite look of hers this year (mostly because of this particular moment) but it’s the first of a few I’m going to bang on about. On the right is Priyanka Chopra in Georges Hobeika, complemented by the walking accessory that is Nick Jonas.

Priyanka and Nick’s daytime looks were beautiful too (left), and if you’re not paying attention to the Cannes daytime looks YOU SHOULD. Stefanie Giesinger (right)’s outfit is sleek and crisp and effortless and everything I want to emulate but also a lot more accessible than the average red carpet look.

Similarly, here we have Izabel Goulart (left), Caroline Daur (both of the middle looks), and Chloe Sevigny (right), out and about in Cannes all looking elegant (I mentally pronounced that RuPaul saying eloquent) as fuck. I imagine a lot of these pieces cost more individually than I will ever have collectively in my bank account at one time, but there you go. I imagine they could be replicated for a lot less.

But, let’s go back to the red carpet so we can talk about Winnie Harlow again, lmao. I desperately want to know who her stylist is because her Richard Quinn dress (far left) complements her skin tone perfectly AND the accessories are PERFECT, which I’m impressed by because I feel celebrity stylists often tend to go over the top in that regard. Winnie’s Ralph and Russo look (far right) also flawed me; @ mystery stylist, I bow down. Elsa Hosk reminded us all that gloves can be subtle and looked as ethereal as ever in a white, puff sleeved Redemption dress (second to right) and the things I would do for Maya Henry’s Ralph and Russo dress (second to left) are unholy.

Of course Georges Hobeika, Zuhair Murad and Gimabattista Valli (invented the phrase Holy Trinity) dresses made an appearance, and I internally weeped as saving photos of them to my phone is the closest I’ll probably ever get to owning one. Left to right here we have Ana Beatriz Barros in Hobeika, Valery Kaufman in Zuhair Murad, Bianca Brandolini d’Adda in Giambattista Valli x H&M (more on that in a minute), and Shanina Shaik in Georges Hobeika too.

See, it was a good day for the Giambattista Valli x H&M collaboration because Kendall Jenner (far left) wore one of the dresses too, and it was probably her most iconic Cannes moment, not counting those photos of her and Bella Hadid laughing in rich on that yacht. Ultimate Victoria’s Secret model (trash company but it has given us some goddesses, let’s be real) Adriana Lima also looked phenomenal in Ester Abner, and Natasha Poly (second to left) and Josephine Skriver (far right) were born to wear Atelier Versace and Alberta Ferretti, clearly. The shade of Josephine’s lipstick is a beautiful touch.

Honestly, these were my initial 3 favourite looks of the whole festival. I’m a simple girl, I’ll pretty much lay down my life for anything blue or tulle, so obviously, Alina Baikova in Zuhair Murad (left) is one of my favourites. For the same reason, minus the blue part, I adore Araya Hargate’s Ralph and Russo dress, and CAN WE TALK ABOUT ELLE FANNING (right)!? The poor girl feinted after one of her red carpets and we could have a whole conversation about how fucked up it is that a sample size was so tight on a very slim woman that it caused her to lose consciousness, but for now, I’m just going to commend her for her services to fashion because it’s almost 1am and I need to get some bloody sleep. Regardless, the finishing touch of the flowers in the hair make this my favourite of Elle’s Cannes looks, and the dress is by Valentino.

More red carpet stand outs were, from left to right, Pixie Lott (yes, I didn’t know she was still doing her thing either but power to her, despite the fact Mama Do plays approximately 73 times a day at my work) in Yanina Couture, Madison Headrick in Ashi Studio Spring 2019 Haute Couture, and Michelle Rodriguez in Rami Kadi.

Farhana Bodi’s (far left) was stunning in a cobalt Atelier Zuhra gown, as were Hina Khan in Ziad Nakad (second to left) and Chris Lee in Gucci (far right). I kind of live for witnessing a lavender pixie cut a la vegan, marxist twitter on a stuffy red carpet, and I will also take a reprieve from this breakneck speed to congratulate DJ Kiddy Smile (second from right) for doing what Harry Styles should’ve at the Met. This is spitting in the face of toxic masculinity, men, not wearing a sheer blouse; your endless supply of pink suits can’t save you from our criticisms forever (I like Harry Styles, this is a joke, please no one hurt me).

Next we have, from left to right, Diana Penty in Nedo by Nedret Taciroglu, Elle Fanning again stepping on all our necks in Dior, and on the far right, Eva Longoria in Alberta Ferretti. Now, 3 things: firstly, I stupidly saved the 3rd photo without including a note of who she is or who her dress is by and so if anybody happens to read this and knows, HELP A GIRL OUT. Secondly, I still stan Eva Longoria for playing Gabby Solis in Desperate Housewives which is the most slept on show amongst millennials and I wanted to use this opportunity to make a passionate PSA and say EVERYONE WATCH IT so references from it (”Rex cries when he ejaculates” anyone?) can become part of our cultural zeitgeist again. Finally, Elle fucking Fanning, can you let us breathe, please? This old Hollywood inspired Dior look is so simple but probably one of my favourite looks from the whole festival because who knew it was possible to simultaneously look so glamorous and yet also so soft? It’s timeless.

It shouldn’t be a surprise that Taylor Hill makes the best dressed list twice. Obviously, she could wear a bin bag and look beautiful, but her stylist knows just how to elevate the whole angelic, other worldly being thing she has going on, and she was stunning in Ines Di Santo (left) and Fendi (middle) at the Rocketman premiere. Bella Hadid brought the same divine energy in a white, tulle Dior dress (far right).

Another one of Elle Fanning’s flawless Cannes moments was courtesy of Gucci (far left). On its own, I don’t think this dress would catch my attention as much as it did BUT the cape detailing with the red lipstick and the hair pulled back makes this outfit a stand out for me. To Elle’s right are Natalia Vodianova in Atelier Versace (second from the left), and Lea Seydoux (second from right) and Stacy Martin (far right) both in Louis Vuitton.

I’m gonna take a small break from Elle Fanning to fangirl over Guan Xiao Tong in Atelier Versace (far left). The quality of the photo I saved wouldn’t be out of place on 13 year old me’s HTC phone but I also think nothing captures how beautiful the structure of Guan Xiao’s dress was better than a semi aerial shot, and the same goes for Sririta Jensen in Michael Cinco (far right). Now back to admiring Elle Fanning, in Ryan Lo (second from left) and Vivienne Westwood (second from right).

Her daytime looks are just as good. Elle wears Marc Jacobs on the left, Miu Miu on the far right, and I have no bloody idea on the middle. If you’re reading this and you know, HMU. I promise, it’s not me being lazy; Elle.com doesn’t know either.

To go back to red carpet looks, I loved Izabel Goulart in Valentino Couture (left) looking like she just killed her husband, Dracula, after a domestic that resulted from her draining the blood of his afternoon snacks (I’m coming for your gig, Stephenie Meyer). Coco Rocha looked incredible in Elie Saab (middle); I’m surprised this was the only one of her dresses that stood out to me this year because I really like her designs. God knows I have spent far too long imagining myself in one. Lastly in this photoset, there’s Leomie Anderson in Rami Kadi (right) and, like, WOW.

Now, I’m going to whizz through these last few photosets. First is Sara Sampaio in Armani, then Alina Baikova in Zuhair Murad, Charlotte Gainsbourg in Christian Dior Haute Couture, and finally Sui He on the far right. I’m not sure who she’s wearing and Harper’s Bazaar and reverse image search is giving me dust so as always, if you’re reading and you know, hmu.

From left to right here: Stella Maxwell in Atelier Versace, Martha Hunt in Monique L’Huillier, Gayle Rankin in Delpozo and Dua Lipa in Valentino.

L-R: Madison Beer in Georges Hobeika (STUNNING, and I just read on Twitter that there was a gun pulled out at one of her concerts which is insane, and how has it become so commonplace in the states that something like that doesn’t make headline news?), Chloe Sevigny (again, I stan) in Miu Miu, and Hailey Clauson in Ralph and Russo.

L-R: Elle Fanning in Reem Acra (another fucking beautiful cape!), Elsa Hosk in Alberta Ferretti (Cannes 2019 has been GREAT advertisement for Alberta and power to her, am I right?), Jasmine Tookes in Zuhair Murad (I have LOVED this dress ever since its runway debut and there are few human beings out there who would do it more justice than Jasmine), and finally Araya Hargate again in Atelier Versace.

To finish, Eva Longoria’s sleek all camel day look is more of Alberta Ferretti doing what she does best, high fashion Twitter darling Sasha Luss’s dress is couture Chanel, and so is Margot Robbie’s. It’s the delicate touch of the plaits that I love with Margot’s look and Eva looks radiant, and both are a final reminder NOT TO SLEEP ON CANNES’ DAYTIME FASHION.

All in all, Cannes produced just as many extortionately expensive fairy princess looks as ever and, as always, I lived for it. I love dark, grungy fashion but still, the little girl in me can’t beat feathers, satin and sequins; there’s no event better suited for vicariously living out my French vanilla fantasy. 

It also brings together two of my favourite things in life: films and fashion. Call me a basic bitch, but I’m very excited for Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (though I am conflicted about whether to see it in cinemas considering I just found out Leonard DiCaprio has known his current girlfriend since SHE WAS 11, like, what the fuck?), Portrait of a Lady on Fire sounds incredible, and I plan on seeing Rocketman this week.

If you read all this post all the way to the end, I hope you enjoyed it!

Lauren x

#fashion #cannes #cannesfilmfestival #elle fanning #cannes film festival #margot robbie #sasha luss #Elsa hosk #jasmine tookes #dior #Alberta ferretti #Zuhair murad #chanel #Georges hobeika #Ralph and russo #Chloe sevigny #Madison beer #miumiu #miu miu #Stella maxwell #valentino #giambattista valli

[thorscock-y]

Library (Loki x reader)

Request: Anon asked,  Hi I saw that requests were opened, so can you plz write something with Loki x a very flirty (and kinda dirty minded) reader ending in smut? Thank you in advance!

Warnings: Smut, NSFW Images, 18+, Oral, female receiving, Unprotected sex, 

Authors Note: I added a little plot to this just because my literature self can’t just jump into a story so yeah haha, enjoy love. PSA, no gifs belong to me, rightful credit to owners. 

Masterlist

It was a calm sunny day in New York, traffic was light which meant there wasn’t much honking to be heard and it just helped with the peaceful silence. You were in your room, reading one of your favorite books. Cuddled up in your warm fuzzy blanket, still in your pj’s, you decided today would be a lazy day since you had no plans ahead of you. Or so you thought. 

A knock on your door causes you to look up from your book. As you’re about to reply, the door opens anyway without consent for the person to come in. You know for sure that this is Jane. The two of you share a nice apartment together, best friends since you were a little, and the brunette always knocks but never waits for an answer if she can come in or not. 

She enters, a face full of smile and excitement. 

“Well, come in.” You say, sarcastically. 

“Come to Asgard with me!” She’s practically jumping off of her feet with excitement.

Confused by her statement, you set down your book then sit up in your bed. Did you just hear this woman right? Go to Asgard. Somewhere you’ve never been but have been dying to go ever since you’ve heard about the beautiful place. It’s something you’ve been studying for years now with Jane

“What?” You ask, eyebrows furrowed. 

“Well, I know how you’ve been wanting to go for a while so last night I was talking to Thor about it, asking if you could go and all and guess what? He’s all for it!” She’s jumping up and down like a happy five year old. Obviously she can’t contain her excitement. “He consulted with his dad and he gave him the get go that it’s okay to bring you, this time.”

“Are you serious?” A huge smile is planted on your face as you flip over the covers, hopping out of bed. 

“Yes, I am not even joking with you right now so get ready.” 

Your eyes widen in astonishment. 

“Wait, we’re leaving today? Now?” Your plans of having a day off had been canceled though you didn’t mind. You loved your comfy bed but going to Asgard was a far way better choice. It had just caught you so off guard that you’d be going as of now. 

“Yes, we’re leaving in like ten minutes, Thor’s here.” 

“Thanks for the heads up.” You began to scramble around in your gores, looking for a suitable outfit to wear. 

Jane shrugged. 

“Sorry, I didn’t find out until a minute ago now would you just throw something on? I’m excited for you to see everything there, it’s so beautiful.” 

“What do they even wear in Asgard?” 

“Honestly, it doesn’t matter. Just get dressed, we’ll be waiting.” With a quick grin, she’s out the door. 

“Such a help.” You mutter to yourself then just throw on something casual and simple. A white cotton sweater with black jeans and knee high boots. You walked over to the mirror, to make sure everything looked alright. As you were about to began to adjust some things, Jane came rushing back into the room. 

“Great, you look perfect, let’s go.”

There was no fighting this woman, so you complied and let her drag you out of your room and into the living room where Thor was. He was sitting on the couch, in human clothes. You had gotten used to this; him being here and all. He was like a brother to you, the two of you got a long very well. He saw you as a sister as well. 

“Hey big guy,” You say. 

“Hello to you, lady Y/N.” he stands up, pulling you into a big bear hug. 

“How many times do I have to tell you to just call me by my name and not “lady Y/N?” It sounds weird.” 

“Forgive me but it is how we formally greet each other back in Asgard though I don’t tend to hug any woman except my mother there so you and Jane are the lucky ones.”

“Mhm, I’m pretty sure you and Jane do more than hugging from what I hear.” You recall the sounds of them, all through the night doing God knows what. All you know is you’re never going to forget those nights where Jane and Thor get carried away. The loud moans from the both of them make you want to throw up. 

Jane blushes and looks down while Thor seems to be quite the opposite. He’s glad to be hitting that ass every night. 

“Well what can I say? Jane is a woman of vulnerability under my touch and-”

Jane claps and interrupts him before he can say more. 

“Alright, time to go! No more discussion of our sex life or there won’t be one anymore.” 

You laugh and it’s not a moment more until you guys are on the road. Jane is driving to the spot where you guys first met Thor and she hit him with the car. Oh how that was the funniest thing ever, who would’ve known that would lead to you actually going to Asgard right now at this very moment. You flood Thor and Jane (but mostly Thor) with questions of what Asgard looks like and what’s it like there and if it’s like your research. Sure Jane has told you everything there is to know considering she’s been there quite a few times but you wanted to hear it from the man who’s lived there for basically his whole life. 

Thor just told you to wait until you get there so you sat back and tried to envision what you were in store for. Soon enough you guys are standing in the grass and Thor yells something about a Bifrost and you knew what a Bifrost was from your research. You hold onto him tightly, Jane on the other side and then you’re flying high in the air.

Afraid you’ll fall, you clutch onto Thor very tightly. Your heart is hammering out of your chest as you look up and around you and see a rainbow like shimmer. When you arrive in Asgard, your breath is taken away for you have never seen anything more beautiful than the scene above you. It was more than you imagined, more than you dreamed. 

You gasp, grinning from ear to ear. 

“Beautiful isn’t it?” Thor asks. 

Loss for words, you nod, still taking in the sight of the place. 

“Come on, let me introduce you to my family and then you can venture.” 

Thor introduces you to Frigga, Odin and a few of his friends. They’re very kind people and your legs are shaking as you speak to the king and queen. It’s just that you had never met royalty and even though you were meeting them in a mystical world, it was still all very surreal. You can’t believe you’re actually here.

The first place you became really interested in was their library. What they taught the kids here was exquisite, more advanced then what they teach on earth. Thor and Jane had went on to do their own “thing”, trusting that you would be okay on your own so that left you alone in the huge library. 

The library was Loki’s quiet place. To get away from everyone because he didn’t like anyone. All he ever hears is talk of his perfect brother, so why even bother to linger in the kingdom? The people of Asgard knew it to be Loki’s place so that’s why they never dared to go there. 

Seeing you in his forbidden area had him angry yet you intrigued him. Beautiful, curvy slim waist with a nice ass. Loki was for sure an ass man alright. You’re struggling to reach a book so he comes to your aid, finding it the perfect opportunity to began messing with you. 

“Now,” You jump at the voice and turn to your side to see a man. Tall, sleek black hair, pale skin but the hot type of pale. He was the drop dead sexiest man you’d ever seen. “I know you are not from Asgard by the way you dress, so may I ask who you are and what are you doing here, earthling?” 

You gulp and turn to look at the man, towering over you. The desire to reach the book has vanished your mind.

“Well I came here with Thor. He wanted to show me Asgard.” You say, not breaking eye contact with him. He’s so damn cute, you’re usually one to not pay that much attention to men and focus on your investigations but this man was making you want to throw all those rules out the door. Yes, he was that fucking hot. 

“Thor? Of course.” He grabs the book that you were trying to get and holds it out for you. “I don’t remember Thor ever bringing beautiful women to Asgard. If he had, I would’ve remembered a beautiful face such as yours.” 

And that is the start of your relationship with Loki or whatever it was.You honestly weren’t sure what to call it. As you continued to visit Asgard more often, the more the bond between you grew. The endless flirting, the longing glances between each other when no one was looking. Leaving was the worst part but coming back was your favorite.

“You’re killing me, love.” He said, one day.

 You were bent over picking up a book, you had “accidentally” dropped on the floor. You wore a skirt on purpose so your sexy lace panties could be seen over your round ass, the ass Loki loved to watch while you walked anywhere. To see it almost bare had his cock twitching with excitement and he fought the urge to bend you over the table and take you right there. 

“Oops, I’m just so clumsy.” You say innocently, knowing what you were doing was driving him crazy. Just to mess with even more, you dropped another book in attempt to get the other. “Oh darn, I just keep dropping books.” 

Loki’s done keeping restraint, all he knows is he wants to touch you now and the God of Mischief always get’s what he wants. He gets up from his chair, teleporting over to you. You don’t notice he’s there until you feel his cold hands around your waist, and his crotch on your ass. Your smirk to yourself at the reaction you got out of him. He pulls you so your back is to his chest. 

“Feeling a little risque today, darling?” He says in your ear. 

“Nope.” You say, pulling away from him. You set the books down on the shelf.  He groans lowly. “I’m actually feeling a bit.........bored. Are you bored?”

“Bored? With me? My feelings are infinitely hurt and no, I’m never bored when in the company of the most gorgeous girl in the world.” 

Not impressed, you turn around, pretending to scan the shelves of books while walking away. 

“I bet you call all the women here gorgeous.”

 He follows you. 

“No, I don’t. No woman is as gorgeous as you are.”

 Even though you saw Loki as this sultry arrogant asshole, you took notice of how his attention was never on any of the other women in the kingdom. None of the servants, none of the women from Midgard, his eyes only were always on you. And it was true, Loki only had eyes for you. He enjoyed the flirtatious games the two of you had. 

“Yeah.....okay.” You loved toying with him, it was all part of the fun. 

“Honestly, do you truly think,” He once again teleported in front of you so you had no choice but to stop walking. “Any women could measure up to your beauty?”

“I don’t know,” You shrugged then dangerously moved closer to him. You put a fingertip on his chest, twirling it around. “How about you prove it to me?”  

Loki knew exactly what you had in mind. A cunning smile spread across his face and before you knew it, you were pinned against the wall, Loki’s hands on your waist. You gasp at the suddenness of everything. “

You, my dear, have no idea what you’re in store for.” he says wickedly and then he’s kissing you, hungrily and wanting. Weeks and weeks of lust pushed through him. This is all he’s wanted to do since the moment he laid eyes on you and you felt the same as well. 

You kiss back, not caring of the possibility of someone walking in any minute to catch the two of you. Loki flicks his tongue over your bottom lip wanting to be let in but you smirk into the kiss and decide to tease him by not letting him. He groans into the kiss then moves his hand down under your skirt and begins to massage your clothed clit. You moan and he takes that as his chance to slip his tongue into your mouth, gaining his dominance.

  Asshole 

You move your hand to his chest the other around his neck, wanting to touch him. You’ve been craving this for the longest time now, the feeling of Loki’s lips on yours, his touch, his fingers, all of it had your body heating up and wetness was pooling at your core. He was still rubbing you, softly and slowly but that didn’t last long as he pulled away from the kiss. He placed sloppy wet kisses all over your neck before sinking to his knees. You were startled by this action, not sure what he was doing.

 “Relax, kitten.” He spoke softly, glancing up at you.

He reached beneath your skirt, then pulled your panties down. You stepped out of them then Loki took them, tucking them into his back pocket. As you were about to object to that, just to be stubborn, he placed a kiss to your thigh, and then another, and then another each one coming closer to your heat. 

His lips were cold due to being a son of a frost giant and all but you didn’t mind. The contrast of temperature between his cold skin and your warm skin felt good. 

He slid his hands to your thighs spreading them apart then didn’t waste anymore time as pulled up your skirt then captured your clit into his mouth, sucking. You bit your lip, not wanting to moan to give him the satisfaction that he was pleasuring you. He noticed and began licking over your glistening folds while gripping onto your thighs tightly. Fuck, it felt so good that you couldn’t help but let out a small soft moan.

 He smirked to himself then continued on with his deadly acts. He delves deeper, licking past your folds and over your slit. Your hands involuntary grips onto his dark locks, a moan escaping your lips. He groaned in response, delving deep into your pussy. Your taste was like non other, and he couldn’t wait to taste what your juices tasted like flowing into his mouth. He pulled away placing a kiss on your inner thigh before sliding a finger into you, then adding another in after. 

You threw your head back onto the wall, your whimpers following. He kisses your clit softly then begins to flick his tongue over it while thrusting his fingers in and out of you. Your breathing is ragged, your chest heaving up and down from the immense pleasure Loki is bringing you.

 His hand moves to the back of your knee, pulling your legs further apart so he can taste more of you. He curls his fingers inside of you, your orgasm slowly approaching you as he does this. His tongue is fast, licking over your bundle of nerves bringing you close to the edge. Your grip on his hair tightens and you moan. Your walls clenched around his digits, his tongue still swirling figure eights on your clit, enticing pleasure within you. 

His mouth was amazing, you didn’t know how to act. Soon enough you were coming onto his fingers and onto his face, letting out a loud relieving moan that rang all through the walls of the library. It really is good no one ever uses this library except for Loki. He continues to kiss on your clit, pulling his fingers out of you.

 He throws your leg over his shoulder then is lapping at your juices not wanting to miss a single drop. Your hips jerked forward, sensitive from the previous orgasm but you still enjoyed the feeling of his mouth on you. He nibbled on your clit gently before placing a quick kiss on your pussy then pulling away. 

He stood up so you were now face to face. His chin was dripping with your wetness. He licked his lips before wiping his face with the back of his palm.

 “You taste divine,” He said, huskily. Your legs are still slightly numb and you’re still a bit breathless from that amazing orgasm. 

He kisses your lips, hard and rough and you kiss back, wrapping your hands around his neck, deepening the kiss. You can taste yourself on his cold lips and that sends shivers down your spine. You moan into the kiss, loving his dominance. He pulls away from the kiss, leaning his forehead against yours.

 “But I’m afraid I’m not done with you yet, darling.” Before you can speak he turns you around, applying a hard smack to your ass. 

You yelp in surprise then Loki grabs your skirt dragging it quickly down your legs. You put your hands on the wall to steady yourself as you hurriedly step out of it. Next he unbuttons your blouse then slides it off of you, all of this being done very quickly. He’s so eager to be inside of you, and you’re eager to feel him inside of you, both of you were longing for this moment.

Next he unbuckles his pants, sliding them down along with his briefs. His cock is erect and you feel it against your butt causing you to moan from the interaction.

 He kisses your shoulder then teases you, flicking the tip over your enlarged numb. You whine in anticipation. 

“Loki, please.”

 “What is that? Do I hear a plea coming from your sweet little mouth?” 

Seriously? He was going to be his usual arrogant self now? 

“Yes, just please. My king, please.” You know from what Loki has told you, he wants to rule the world so badly so you thought calling him that would spice it up.

The name sets him off and then he slams into you without warning making you cry out in pleasure. Your walls feel like heaven around him but he gives you a second to adjust. When you give him the get go he then once again thrust inside of you, his pubic bone bouncing off of your ass and then he does it again, not stopping. He grabs your hips tightly while you hold onto the wall for support, soft moans leaving your mouth.

You shivered as you felt the absolute thickness of Loki, pumping inside of you not ever imagining it to be this good. Sure, you dreamt of it, daydreamed of this very moment but never suspected that Loki would have the expertise to be this good. His godlike dick was also helping, sending you into a world of pure bliss. He was truly a God in every way. 

Loki watched the way your beautiful ass bounced on his hardened dick, the way your wetness coated his shaft, and the feeling of your walls around him. It was all a beautiful moment that he never wanted to end with you. The way your angelic moans filled the air turned him on even more. He loved pleasuring you like this. 

You whimpered as your legs were beginning to shake from the unstopping hard pleasurable thrusts Loki was bringing. The sounds of his skin slapping against yours echoed around the library, sweat broke out onto your bodies making the moment even more hot and bothered then it already was. 

The fullness of him is heavenly. He groans then moves deeper into you. Oh, now you can feel him into the brim causing a tingle to erupt into your stomach, your libido rising like crazy. 

Wanting to feel your skin even more, Loki yanks you to him roughly so your back is near to his chest. His hand moves to your throat, the other holding your breast. You can feel him deeper inside of you causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head, the pleasure becoming too much for you to handle. 

You could feel his breath fanning on your ear, as he continued on to pummel into your pussy relentlessly. Your mouth was wide open in a silent moan. With each new thrusts, he rammed deeper making your body convulse just by that action. You felt it again, that same feeling deep down in darkest part of your body. You were going to come, soon. 

Tightly your walls engulfed Loki’s cock and he groaned at the feeling. One hand came and rubbed over you clit fast building up your nerves, your orgasm approaching quickly. 

“Oh, Loki, I’m-”

“I know dear.” He kissed your neck, licking and nipping and before you know it your orgasm is raging through you. You moaned out loudly. It wasn’t long until his cock twitched inside of you and spurring hot loads of come inside of you. His come mixes with yours and he doesn’t stop as he rides out both of your highs. Your eyes are hooded with lust. 

Loki grips your neck harder, turning your head to the side to capture your lips in his as he continues to fuck you but slowly and sensually now. You moan into his mouth, relishing in this moment. He pulls away and pecks your lip. He pulls out of you as well then turns you around. Both of you are breathing hard from that amazing fuck. 

“Was that enough proof?” He asks, a mischievous grin plastered on his face. 

You wrap you hands around his neck pulling him close to you, so your noses are touching. “More than enough.” 

Quick question for you guys, should I post with or without the gifs in between fanfics?

#loki laufeyson #loki fanfic #loki x reader #loki smut #loki laufeyson x reader #loki imagine #loki fanfiction #loki x you #loki oneshot #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston imagine #tom hiddleston x reader #thor imagine #Thor Odinson #thor the dark world #thor x reader #thor x loki #Avengers #avengers x reader #avengers one shot #Avengers infinity war #chris hemsworth #mcu imagine #mcu #Chris Evans #tom holland imagine #tom holland #Steve Rogers #tony stark #peter parker

[dukeofriven]

Let Boys Love Girl Things

For a deeply depressed, angry, and vitriolic bisexual 20-something who stumbled out of a toxic 2-year intensive college program confused as fuck about his gender and hurting everyone around him, it is with no exaggeration that I say My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic’s low-key stakes, warmth, humour, kindness, and utter lack of cynical irony was my first step on the road not only to recovery but coming even sort of close to having an accord with my identity. So I quite frankly I am exhausted that I have spent nine years being judged on the behaviour of a fandom group from 4chan. Nine years ago there was a gross perpetuation of toxic masculinity where men were ridiculed en-masse for liking a “girl’s show,” a campaign of derision that only intensified as the worst elements of 4chan gave everyone the evidence they seemed to want to justify their snap-judgement that boys liking girls shows was fundamentally weird, gross, and worthy of censure. We like to clap ourselves on the back for how woke we are now. There’s no discourse that says it is “skeevy” that men enjoy She-Ra, and petulant MRAs on Reddit getting upset about the show’s new ‘feminist’ agenda is considered to be representative of nothing other than petulant MRAs on Reddit, not the She-Ra fandom as a whole. Steven Universe is triumphed everywhere as a victory for better masculinity - without anyone ever noting that Steven would love every single moment of My Little Pony: FiM. He’d cry at the wedding, and he’d weep at the destruction of the library, and he’d think the Storm King was an effective villain while Connie rolled her eyes and tried and failed to point-out the weak characterization. Steven would cheer and cry every time a villain was redeemed through the power of love and friendship. Because he’s Steven, and he loves schmaltz, and it’s okay for a boy to like schmaltz. If we truly believe that, as we say we do, it’s time let the habit of shaming boys who liked a cartoon show go. It’s been a decade. Yes: MLP: FiM had a disgusting contingent of its fandom. You know what other franchise has that problem? A little film series you might have heard of called Star Wars. A contingent of Star Wars fandom was so racist it drove actors of colour off of twitter because it piled hate upon them. It was so misogynistic that somebody out there recut the entirety of The Last Jedi so that men save the day and all the women get reduced to bit parts. And yet if I see a Star Wars avatar my first assumption generally isn’t “oh you like Star Wars, so you must therefore be a misogynistic racist.” Because statistically speaking, you aren’t - just like, statistically speaking, the men who liked My Little Pony weren’t 4chan users. Not that most people bothered to find that out, because - shockingly - the worst elements had loud voices and got all the press, and the standard we applied to them was so entrenched in patriarchy that none of us wanted to accept that men could like the girls show without it being some gross violation of the proper order. I’m tired of that. The show’s been on nine years - long enough that kids who grew up watching it are old enough to start entering “The Discourse Space,” and what kind of example do we want to set for them that a show that might have meant so much to them growing up is given a defacto label of deviancy? ”Adult males like this show about the little kiddie ponies - that’s so creepy.” There’s a point I want to make here that I think really needs to be said so I am going to make it large

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is a show for children; it is not a show about children.

What do I mean by this? Adventure Time is the story of Finn, a 12-year-old. Steven Universe is a show about Steven Universe, a 12-year-old. Ok K.O. is a show about K.O. a 6-11 year-old. Avatar: The Last Airbender is about a group of kids aged 11-14. She-Ra is a show about Adora who is… 16-ish? 17? And so on.

MLP:FiM is a show about 20-somethings. It’s a show about a grad student, a small business owner, a baker, a farmer, an environmental technician, a… trust fund baby?*... and, later, a former dictator. Yes, there are some kid characters, but the primary cast are all young adults who’ve reached adulthood and found themselves having to learn over and over again all sorts of shit they really ought to have known by now but don’t. It is, in short, a story about Millennials: an entire generation who reached adulthood not knowing what that meant or how to cope. Every time you laugh at the characters and go “how do they not know this [obvious thing that is obvious to adults]” you do so while watching a children’s cartoon rather than paying your taxes because you’re still not sure how to do that properly and are just low-key freaking out about it and hoping the problem goes away on its own. I speak from experience. The list in endless: we might ridicule the ponies ignorance at social graces, but i’ve been on this hellsite long enough that I’m pretty sure most of you are social-anxious neurotics who cock-up just as often and just as spectacularly as any pony on the show.

I’ve grown up in-sync with these characters. I’ve seen them go from floundering at 20 to sorta getting their act together and coming to grips with adult life as they reach 30. I’ve seen them become successful, get new jobs, start new careers. There have been episodes about how to deal with parents who embarrass you, how to get your parents to understand that you’re an adult now and want to be treated that way. There str stories about how to handle deadbeat older brothers who won’t stop mooching off your emotional labour, and how to mourn parents who’ve died. There are also stories about the byzantine nature of school regulation. (If next season is all about Twilight Sparkle reforming the Equestrian tax code it will be entirely in keeping with the adult-life-trend the show has been on for a while.)

My point with all this is that the “liking the kid’s show” narrative is disingenuous in the way it frames fans as creepy. To get tu quoque about it all I could raise my hand and point at all you adults gushing about all these kid protagonists in your favourite cartoon shows and go “Isn’t that CREEPY and GROSS you DEVIANTS” and on and on and on.

But I won’t.

Because it was never really about that, was it? It’s never been about that.

It was, at first, about what it was and wasn’t okay for boys - for men - to like. As a kid who’d been mercilessly bullied for being even the tiniest bit effeminate, openly embracing the fact that I liked this show about the colourful cartoon ponies felt like painting a target on my back. As for the boys younger than me - the boys still in high school in 2010 and 2011 who openly embraced this show? Braver than any US marine. When this all started it was about policing what was ‘appropriate’ for boys - nobody gave the adult Transformers fandom the same kind of shit, I assure you. It was about patriarchy - and how unwilling we all were to let go of it, no matter how progressive we told ourselves we were. Just like any moral panic, it developed a far more disturbing tone of disapprobation because if a handful of fans on 4chan were creepy than surely all the fandom was creepy. I’ve had plenty of fun mail in my inbox as people with cartoon avatars told me my opinion was invalid because I had an avatar from a different cartoon show. If I had an MP avatar that made me a “brony,” which made me a creepy MRA edgelord. Never mind that I don’t even use the term, and haven’t since… well, since the grossest elements of 4chan got it tattooed on their phalluses and trumpeted it to the heavens as the calling card of their misogyny.

There was a moment, I think, back in the halcyon days of 2010 and 2011 where we could have taken this another way. Where, socially, the rise of boys watching ‘the girl’s show’ was treated as a breakthrough, as a paradigm shift, as something to be celebrated and nurtured instead of something to revile like an anti-homosexual PSA from the 1950s. “Can’t let the adult men near that children’s show, who knows what might happen. They might repeat the trends that all fandoms have done for decades upon decades - the horror!”

We could have been better - but we weren’t. We mocked, and clutched our pearls, and looked appalled, and in doing so we fed the trolls all the ammunition they’d ever need to turn themselves into The Poor Oppressed Babies who just wanted to be left alone to watch their ponies and belittle women in peace. So the gender-questioning bi boy trying to feel good about himself got rounded-up with the usual 4chan suspects because we both enjoyed the same television program.

Patriarchy is not an external force with its boot upon our necks: it is a collaborative social effort, reinforced both consciously and sub-consciously every day. The internet of the early 2010s was a very different place, and the decisions we made then still live with us today. If we want to stop the perpetuation of toxic masculinity, we have to ourselves cease to perpetuate it. There’s an entire generation of queer boys and non-binary boys and non-bro cis-boys - the kind who cry and care and give a shit about kindness - who have grown up on Steven Universe and Adventure Time and yes, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. These are boys who deserve to have a better place prepared for them than I had, one that isn’t still littered by the baggage of all the dumb stupid crap from 2010 and 2011.

It’s time to let the ghost of Toxic 4chan Fandoms Past go already, and let this show about cartoon ponies be free to entertain and delight without incurring a moral inquisition. Life is so bad right now, the news is so dire. Curl up with My Little pony: Friendship is Magic and let all its goodness, and kindness, and laughter, and caring carry you away and remind you that we can still tell stories about worlds in which those virtues are treasured. Let the show stand on its actual merits, and not the cultural lodestones of long-gone reprobates. And stop granting the phantoms of 4chan the power to say anything meaningful in 2019.

_________________ *Serious question: what does Fluttershy do for a living? Like, as her job? For most of the series? She’s the only one who doesn’t have a meaningful career, and after meeting her enabling parents you just know she’s been living off pre-existing savings for years (she’s thrifty like that).

[Note: this post was originally posted in this thread. It has since been re-edited and slightly modified.]

#my little pony #my little pony: friendship is magic #MLP #MLP FiM #steven universe #connie maheswaran #adventure time #4chan #patriarchy #gender roles #bisexuality #She-Ra #Avatar #Avatar the last airbender #atla #Adora #Fin the human #OK KO #K.O. #brony #bronies #twilight sparkle #fluttershy #rainbow dash #rarity #pinkie pie #applejack #starlight glimmer #millenials #long post

[littlewalken]

Spider-Man x Deadpool story starter

I start it, you finish it

Contains a hint of lemon

Spider-Man + Deadpool

“PNDB”

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

Deadpool had to be smiling underneath his mask. He stood at the podium twiddling his thumbs, waiting. Peter Parker lifted his camera to his face and took a picture. There was still a good couple of minutes to stop this.

Being “the local leader” J3 Communications had been steadily building its footing with it’s independent television empire, and part of that included a local UHF channel which allowed anyone their fifteen minutes of public discourse-as long as it didn’t incite hatred, violence, or break any other FCC laws. 

So today it was the turn of the masked vigilante Deadpool to make his choice of chairs, tables, podiums, and fake plants and take to live air with a 90 delay. He had even left his weapons at security to show how serious he was about things. And he had to be serious because he hadn’t cracked a single joke. Well, he had, but they weren’t the zingers he was known for.

Even if Peter wasn’t the staff photographer required to get a few shots of everyone who appeared he would have been there n one form or another. Spider-Man’s presence might have set Deadpool off. At least he didn’t know who it was under the mask.

When it was time Deadpool took a deep a deep breath, “Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between and not. Fifteen years ago, last Valentine’s Day, that night exactly, I took your mother to pound town. Being the stupid idiots we were, we placed you for adoption in what was hopefully a loving family and not a Dickensian orphanage.

“Every Father’s Day that goes by, every Christmas, every one of your birthdays, I think about you,” Deadpool wiped a tear from his mask. “I think about all the things I’ve missed out on, teaching you to ride a bicycle, teaching you how to lob grenades, and all that macaroni art!

“So, if you’re the fruit of my loins please come to meet me this Saturday at noon on Fog Hill. And remember to spay and neuter your pets and strange relatives!” 

With that Deadpool left the podium. The control room would repeat his message two more times and pad the rest of the time with PSAs. 

“Hey! Shutterbug! I’m ready for my close-up!”

Peter knew better than to look through the view finder as sure enough, Deadpool had bent over and was mooning the camera with his bare ass. 

“Think I should have invited mom to come along too?” Deadpool wondered aloud. “Naw, she’ll probably hear about this any way.”

“Are you really looking for a child you gave up for adoption?” Asked an intern who was still fresh to the world.

“Nope, sorry, too old,” Deadpool dismissed them. 

“That’s front page…” 

“Nope nope nope,” Deadpool teased. “I doubt Babypool would read it anyway. I can see them now, one of those sword carrying Fedora tipping pony pokers, pajama wearing cat hoarding, do you think they’re in a relationship with a waifu pillow or a cardboard cut out? What if they’re normal? OMFG my child could be an accountant!”

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

Peter Parker found his mind sent back in time, back to the April Fool’s Day after the Valentine’s Day Deadpool had spoken of. The day he had to make many adult decisions as the result of an adult choice he had made about six weeks previously. He would have to tell other people. 

Ned Leeds approached with a triumphant grin on his face as he held up his prize-a bag from a high priced jewelry store, even though it only had one handle and a mysterious stain. 

“Thanks, buddy,” Peter said as he took the bag and put it in his backpack.

“What do you need it for?” Ned asked in anticipation of being part of a great practical joke.

“Something… Something that I don’t think is that funny any more.” 

Ned could sense something wasn’t right with Peter. “Okay, but if it gets funny again please let me know. Or video it, okay?”

“You’ll know, everyone will know,” Peter said quietly. He could get one at the nurse’s office, she’d give him a pass for gym too. I’ll have to tell Mr Stark I can’t web sling for awhile. I’ll have to tell him. I’ll have to tell Aunt May.

Not wanting to tip anyone off Peter did his best to look green as he headed for the nurse’s office. The kid coming out made a comment asking if Peter had eaten a certain something at lunch too and he nodded. There were a few other queasy looking kids there. 

He had to write his request to the nurse on a note because he couldn’t dare say it aloud. Not that he didn’t already know. He just wanted a second opinion to know the first one was wrong.

It wasn’t wrong. 

And so, only a few months into being 18 and an adult, he had to figure out how to make it right. 

***

There was some stupid musical that had a song about taking away all the trappings of a magical evening and seeing things for what they really were in the daylight, and he was quite sure Joey McIntyre was involved with it. 

Deadpool had positioned himself on the roof of the park bathrooms in what he was sure was a sensual pose. After all the last time he and Spider-Man had been here things had gotten rather passionate. The poor kid had blubbered about his horrible Valentine’s Day, no tuxes left to rent in his size, melted chocolates, abandoned by his date, not wanting to intrude on friends who had gone off with theirs. 

It had taken longer to get through all the discouragement and consent then it took for the somewhat awkward masked sex. Please tell me there was at least one back of the car my parents are out for the evening something before this. 

“Couldn’t stay away, huh?” Deadpool asked when he thought he saw something moving on the roof. He’d already told two raccoons and what he hoped was a pigeon. 

This time it was a person dressed in a Spider-Man costume and holding a gift bag. 

“I got you something.”

“A present! For me!” Deadpool squealed as he hopped to his feet. “Oh, you shouldn’t have! What on earth could it be?”

Spider-Man held out the bag but he didn’t budge. Something was wrong.

“Is it a bomb, please tell me one of my arc enemies has forced you in to delivering a bomb to me or they’ll kill your parents!” 

Even that failed to get a reaction from Spider-Man. 

“Thank you,” Deadpool said as he took the bag. He looked inside, took out the object, turned it a bit to catch the yellow security light. “You Bedazzled it and everything.”

“I thought you’d find that funny,” Spider-Man said quietly.

“I love it,” Deadpool said in a soft tone. 

There was a silence waiting for the other to laugh and break the tension. 

“Do you think unplanned parenthood is still open?” Deadpool finally asked.

“It’s called Planned Parenthood,” Spider-Man said.

“I don’t think so, we definitely didn’t plan this. 

***

“Is it Ned?”

“It’s not Ned.”

“Is it Flash Thompson?”

“It’s no one from school.”

“Is it Tony Stark?”

“No.”

“Is it Dr Banner.”

“It isn’t an Avenger.”

“So it was someone worth laying down with but not worth bringing home and introducing to me.” Aunt May returned to her larb. Of course she’d find the box to the home pregnancy test Peter had taken. He should have thrown it out at school but the positive result had shocked the sense out of him. 

“We kept our masks on,” Peter admitted. “He’s never asked who I am.”

Clunk, May’s fork hit the floor. The waiter brought her a new one. 

“I was going to take a gap year any way,” Peter said, the waiter still being close enough to possibly hear. 

“Are you going to keep it?”

“I don’t know.”

***

Tony Stark was taking the news harder than Aunt May did. He got up from behind his desk and marched to be face to face with Deadpool.

“Hey hey hey, he told me he was 42!” Deadpool joked. 

“Spider-Man,” Tony heavily emphasized the second word. “Can make his own choices. I just want to make sure that you…”

“Have already told my amazing baby mama that I will support him in what ever choices he makes with our prom night dumpster baby because it’s his body!” Deadpool snapped. 

“Halloween,” Spider-Man said. “That’s about when it’s due.”

“My bad math,” Deadpool said. 

Tony Stark still looked mad. 

***

Peter Parker looked at his phone, he was purposefully ignoring all of Tony Stark’s messages. All these years later, even after arranging the adoption, the subject of the Spider-Pool baby still pissed him off. He looked around at everyone who had gathered at Fog Hill in Central Park like Deadpool had asked and quite a few of them looked way to old. 

It was hard to pay attention to everything in general with the crowd, even Peter’s Spider-sense seemed to be going a bit crazy trying to sort its self out. When Deadpool finally arrived the crowd went wild. He climbed up on a rock and scanned the crowd.

Looking for a better line of sight the spider part of Peter’s brain directed him to a near by jungle gym. A couple of people who had been sitting there had gotten off to get closer to Deadpool but one kid remained. They were wearing a grey hoodie with goat ears and well worn sneakers. 

“Hey,” Peter said.

“Hey,” goat hoodie replied. 

His spider sense had never felt this way before. 

***

“It’s always fun and games until someone loses an eye.”

Spider-Man just shook his head. He had climbed up the sky scraper to think and Deadpool had followed.

“Do you think Tony Stark will tell you who it is?”

Spider-Man shook his head. 

“Because if either of our identities are compromised the bad guys could go after our kid and learn the identity of the other and all hell would break loose?”

Spider-Man nodded.

“Do you think our kid was even there?” Deadpool asked.

“Yes.”

#spider-man #deadpool #trans peter parker #fan fiction

[sweetlysilent]

Pete's Coffee

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: In which a boy orders coffee and a girl makes them.

Part 5: Caramel Macchiato

Side Note: This is the last part to Pete’s Coffee, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Therefore, welcome to Pete’s Coffee.

Friendly PSA: Please do not steal my writing without my permission, or flat out steal it at all. It’s super disrespectful and 100% plagiarism. So, if you’re someone who does steal other peoples’ work, think about what you’re doing before you hit that copy button. Thank you!

There were certain times in Queens where you cherished certain moments, one of them was the season of Autumn, you loved everything about it, the way the air was a bit chillier in the morning, the way the dew glistened on the grass from the morning sun, the way the leaves on the trees were the beautiful yellow-orange color, it truly did make you a happier person.

You were walking to work, a scarf around your neck, jeans and a t-shirt on as you rounded the corner, observing the scenery on your walk.

However, your morning walk to work got interrupted as you felt a vibration in your pocket.

From Caffé Parker: hey it’s peter! i mean, you probably already know that right?

From Caffé Parker: wow i sounded rlly stupid in that last message, but anyways, i was wondering if u were working the morning shift? :)

To Caffé Parker: hey, of course i knew it was u, u dork ;) & yes i am working the morning shift, i’m actually walking there as we speak.

You smiled down at your phone, sending the message to Peter before taking a quick selfie, hoping nobody was paying attention to some random person standing on the sidewalk and taking a picture of themselves.

You then sent it to Peter, proving you were actually walking to work, the background had a nice Autumn look to it, which only made you happier.

Peter on the other hand was a love struck mess, the picture you sent him nearly made him fall over.

You were gorgeous to him, and the fact you actually sent him a picture made his heart race even quicker than he ever thought it could.

“Dude, you’re sweating so bad what happened?” Ned chuckled, watching Peter quickly pack his backpack up before brushing his hair.

“It’s Y/N, we’re texting and well..” Peter showed Ned his phone, your selfie still on the screen, watching as Ned’s eyes widened slightly.

“Damn Pete, you really have a stunner of a girlfriend.” Ned whistled, making Peter roll his eyes slightly.

“She’s not my girlfriend.. Yet..” He muttered, making Ned snort, before they both walked out the door, obviously on their way to see you.

You glanced up, hearing the bell ring, for a second you thought it was Peter, which made your face light up, but quickly vanish as the person you last expected walk in.

“Hey Y/N, nice to see you again.” The man spoke, a faint smirk on his face as he approached the counter.

“Flash, how unfortunate it is to see you again.” You plastered a fake smile across your lips, watching Flash’s eyebrows raise in amusement.

“Now, now, we know you don’t mean that, I mean come on, we make a great couple.” Flash winked, making you roll your eyes and take a deep breath.

How you so wanted to punch his perfect teeth out right then and there.

“Flash, if you aren’t going to order anything then you need to leave, I have customers.” You placed a hand on your hip, an annoyed expression clear across your face.

“Aw does Y/N want to get rid of me? That’s a shame, I thought we really had something darling.” He grinned, as you made a fake throw up face, rolling your eyes.

“We had a one time thing, that’s it.” You exclaimed, watching as his brows furrowed.

“I found it more than that, I thought we had something.” Flash crossed his arms, leaning against the counter as you shook your head laughing.

“We never had something, maybe in your mind we do, but in reality we don’t, plus, I’m seeing someone.” You shrugged, picking up your notepad and pen, watching out of the corner of your eye to see Flash’s jaw clench, his hands balling into fists.

“Oh really? I don’t see anyone.” He snapped, making you smile as you glanced up, seeing Peter and Ned walk in.

“Well he’s right there.” You motioned to Peter, who’s eyes locked with yours, before looking at Flash.

You quickly sent him a quick message, hoping Flash wasn’t paying attention.

To Caffé Parker: i need u to be my fake boyfriend, pls, i promise i’ll pay u back!

You watched as you saw Peter lift his phone up, his eyes widening before sending you a quick message back.

To Y/N: don’t worry, i got u ;)

You smiled, shaking your head as Peter and Ned approached you and Flash, Flash of course sending daggers at Peter.

“Hold up, you’re dating Penis Parker?” Flash spoke in disgust, making you glare at him.

“In fact, I am, and it’s Caffé Parker get it right.” You snapped, winking at Peter who grinned at you, which of course, melted your heart, the things that boy did to you.

“I can’t believe this, there is no way this is true, no way!” Flash exclaimed, looking between the three of you.

“It’s true, she made me a coffee and then we just hit it off.” Peter shrugged, licking his lip slightly before sending you a wink.

“If you guys are really dating, then prove it, kiss.” Flash smirked, crossing his arms as Peter’s face paled.

You glared at Flash, before walking out from behind the counter.

“Fine, you want proof? Here’s your proof.” You snapped, shoving past Flash before grabbing a fistful of Peter’s shirt, pressing your lips against his.

Needless to say Peter was stunned, he couldn’t believe this was happening, but soon he snapped out of it, kissing you back, his hands resting on your waist.

“Damn, go Peter.” Ned chuckled, making Flash groan and storm out of the shop, shouting who knows what.

You both eventually pulled away, faces flushed, breathing heavily, as you both stared at one another.

“You know, you make a really good fake boyfriend.” You teased, a smile on your lips as you moved a curl out of his face.

“You make a really good girlfriend.” Peter mumbled, making your eyes widen slightly, did he just say girlfriend, as in not a fake one?

You blinked a few times, unable to find words to say, watching as Peter bit his lip nervously, before letting out a deep sigh.

“Y/N, I really like you, I have ever since I walked into this Coffee Shop, hell, even before that, ever since I called over the phone, I heard your voice, and I knew I was screwed.” Peter chuckled nervously, his cheeks red, as were yours.

“Peter, you’re so delusional sometimes.” You giggled, making his eyebrows furrow, his eyes locking with yours.

“You said my real name.” He smiled, making you laugh and nod, cupping his cheek with your hand.

“I’ve liked you the second you got flustered over the different milk options.” You laughed, making him roll his eyes playfully.

“So, that being said, Y/N, will you go out with me?” Peter smiled hopefully, his heart beating erratically in his chest.

“Yes, Peter, I will go out with you.” You smiled, as he grabbed your hand, rubbing his thumb over it gently.

“YES! I knew this would happen, god I’m so happy right now!” Ned cheered, recording the whole thing on his phone, fist pumping the air.

“NED!” Peter screeched, his eyes wide as Ned realized he had shouted that out loud, his own cheeks reddening slightly.

“O-Oh, s-sorry..” He mumbled, laughing as he went to sit at a table, you on the other hand gave Peter a kiss on his cheek before returning back behind the counter.

Peter would shake his head laughing as he saw you get situated, before walking up to the counter.

“Hello, welcome to Pete’s Coffee, what can I get you today?” You’d smile, your pen and note pad waiting as Peter watched you in amusement.

“One Medium Caramel Macchiato please.” Peter smiled, watching as you wrote down his order, this never got old to him.

“Is that all?” You questioned, resting your chin on the palm of your hand, watching the brunette haired boy in front of you.

“Actually no, can I also have a date with you?” He grinned cheekily, making you laugh and cover your mouth.

Since when was he so bold and confident? -Not that you didn’t absolutely love it.

“I thought you’d never ask.” You’d smile, biting your lip slightly as you saw Peter’s grin widen, before taking a seat next to a window waiting for his ‘order.’

As you were creating his drink, your mind couldn’t help but wander, you always knew the season of Autumn brought the best for you, and it certainly wasn’t letting you down.

That morning was one of the best you’d had in months, Ned had convinced Peter to start the date right away, leaving you both to bond, therefore, you had your first coffee date that morning, both of your Caramel Macchiatos sitting in front of you on the table.

You’d be laughing at a dumb joke he had told you, his eyes lighting up at the sound of your laugh, it couldn’t have been more perfect.

“I’m so glad I called this coffee shop, because meeting you was the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Peter smiled, rubbing your hand gently as you smiled softly.

“I’m glad you did too, even if you did get overwhelmed with milk options.” You’d laugh, watching him roll his eyes playfully, before laughing along with you.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever..” He’d mumble, making you laugh even harder, he was definitely one of a kind that was for sure.

Weeks would continue to pass, and Peter would continuously visit you at the coffee shop, except this time he’d have a coffee for you, which of course peaked your curiosity.

Your eyebrows raised with interest, as Peter smiled innocently, walking up to the counter before handing you the cup.

I may get flustered over different milk options, but I am confident about one thing, Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?

Yes [ ]

No [ ]

You’d smile, grabbing your pen, placing an ‘X' on the cup, before handing it back to him, his eyes lighting up at your answer.

Of course, you had checked yes.

#peter parker #pete's coffee #pete's coffee by sweetlysilent #peter parker imagine #peter parker imagines #peter parker x reader #peter x reader #peter x you #peter parker x you #tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland imagines #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #iron man #tony stark #robert downey jr #rdj #captain america #chris evans #zendaya #michelle #mj #jacob batalon #ned #ned leeds #laura harrier #liz allan #harrison osterfield #michael keaton

[junker-town]

All hail Andy Reid, the NFL’s most quotable coach

Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

He’s given us some infinite wisdom on coaching, Mozart, cheeseburgers, and more over the years.

Andy Reid won his first-ever Super Bowl as a head coach when his Kansas City Chiefs beat the San Francisco 49ers. Reid, who has been a head coach since 1999, entered the game at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami as the NFL’s winningest head coach without a Lombardi Trophy. A win in Super Bowl 54 completed his impressive coaching legacy.

Reid is known for his innovation on offense, most recently with Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs’ high-powered offense. But coaching styles aside, the man nicknamed “Big Red” is also known for his big personality.

With that comes a lot of great quotes from him throughout the years. These are just a few of his greatest hits.

Rei has offered a lot of insightful wisdom in his years of coaching.

Reid is one of the longest-tenured, and most respected, coaches in the NFL. He started his head coaching career with the Philadelphia Eagles in 1999. He was then hired by the Chiefs in 2013 after the Eagles moved on from Reid following the 2012 season.

After his first season in Kansas City, he gave some advice to prospective coaches.

“Respecting people is an important part of life whether it’s the person doing janitorial work or the person above you,” Reid said, via the Associated Press. “It doesn’t matter who you are, I’m going to respect you.”

He’s expressed that sentiment other times, too, including after the Super Bowl win:

Andy Reid on reflecting on the last 30 years: “I’ll tell you, it’s awesome. I’m not sure it’s completely settled in… we all know that it’s not a one-man show. It takes a team together. Not just the players, not just the coaches. Everybody."

— Arrowhead Pride (@ArrowheadPride) February 3, 2020

And for those who might be getting older and need to be composed in big moments — like the 61-year-old Reid — he had a PSA about heart health:

“My heart’s racing. I’m getting older, can’t let it race too fast.” Andy Reid with the quote of the night!

— Liz Gonzales (@TheLizGonzales) February 3, 2020

He’s always ready with a great one-liner, too.

The morning after winning the Super Bowl, Reid was asked if he slept with the Lombardi Trophy. He responded with a shoutout to his wife, which probably would have been a lot creepier if it was anyone other than Reid saying it:

Reid: "I didn't spend the night with the trophy. I spent it with my trophy wife."

— Adam Teicher (@adamteicher) February 3, 2020

Reid and his wife, Tammy, have been married for 38 years. Goals!

He’s also had some pretty good quips about football. Now I’m not exactly sure what a tiddlywink contest is exactly, but it’s apparently not something you want to do during a football game:

Andy Reid quote of the day, in any context: "We're not in a tiddlywink contest. There's a certain amount of pressure that comes with the sport."

— Brooke Pryor (@bepryor) November 28, 2018

As Reid and other head coaches know, not every game will be flawless. After Kansas City won a sloppy game against the Detroit Lions in Week 4 of the 2019 season, Reid said “not all of Mozart’s paintings were perfect” because, sure?

How bout those Chiefs! pic.twitter.com/qv7wq28BuT

— Kansas City Chiefs (@Chiefs) September 29, 2019

This other football quote from him about a four-point stance really needs no comment:

Favorite no-context needed quote from Andy Reid this morning: "You don’t come out of the womb in a four-point stance. Well, you kind of do. But you don’t stay there very long." Btw, this was also the second time he said womb at the coaches breakfast.

— Brooke Pryor (@bepryor) March 26, 2019

He also once compared himself, unfavorably, to Von Miller:

Andy Reid on @VonMiller’s athleticism: “He can bear-crawl faster than I can run.”

— Nicki Jhabvala (@NickiJhabvala) October 24, 2018

I’d like to see this race happen in real life, just to be sure this is correct.

The man really loves his cheeseburgers, and talks about this love A LOT.

After the Chiefs’ Super Bowl win, Reid said he was ready to “get the biggest cheeseburger you’ve ever seen ... might be a double.”

Andy Reid's going to get the biggest cheeseburger he can find, might make it a double pic.twitter.com/BjTeYvtPsb

— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) February 3, 2020

He expanded further on his cheeseburger plans at his postgame presser, adding that he was going to get one with extra cheese:

It’s cheeseburger time for Andy Reid. pic.twitter.com/IOblwkIDxU

— USA TODAY Sports (@usatodaysports) February 3, 2020

Following up big wins with cheeseburgers is kind of Reid’s thing. It’s how he celebrated the Chiefs’ AFC Championship victory over the Tennessee Titans:

“I had a cheeseburger and went to bed.” - (Classic) Andy Reid on how he celebrated last night.

— BJ Kissel (@ChiefsReporter) January 20, 2020

He doesn’t just crave burgers after games — he wants them before games, too:

#Chiefs coach Andy Reid gets to work around 4:30 am for a noon home game, and he wants a hamburger. pic.twitter.com/E2g4Rzgt2y

— BJ Kissel (@ChiefsReporter) December 7, 2018

Reid knows exactly how he likes his burgers. Via Arrowhead Pride, from 2015:

“I like it medium,” Reid said on 610 Sports (24 minute mark here). “It’s hard, I mean, you have to execute that thing the right way. You have to get it to where it’s perfect and juicy when you cut it open but not raw. Then a nice slice of good, fresh Vidalia onion on it. Some mayo and ketchup. A little squirt of mustard but not too much. Pickles, lettuce and tomato and I’m ready to roll. The bun becomes very important. To put all that together and make it perfect, there’s some time involved. That’s where it comes in. You practice, you get it right and then when you bite into it baby, it’s ecstasy right there, so that’s like a good play.”

Speaking of food, Reid often discusses his love for various cuisines.

In the week leading up to Super Bowl 54, Reid compared having his nine grandchildren to ... wait for it ... sweet and sour pork:

A wise man once said that grandchildren are kind of like sweet and sour pork. pic.twitter.com/4U7yB0ZSOd

— Arrowhead Pride (@ArrowheadPride) January 30, 2020

“Those nine grandkids are awesome. They make you feel young, and at the same time, they make you feel old. It’s kind of like sweet and sour pork.”

Seeing a pattern here? Reid is a big red meat guy, and as someone who probably eats more red meat on a regular basis than a human should, I really appreciate this about him.

On a related note, please know that Reid apparently once ordered three steaks at one sitting. In 2017, five years after Reid had coached in Philadelphia, Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie said Reid did it the first time the two met at dinner:

Lurie says the first time he went out to dinner with Andy Reid, Reid ordered 3 steaks at once #Eagles

— Eliot Shorr-Parks (@EliotShorrParks) September 7, 2017

A regional VP of Del Frisco’s steakhouse, Rich Furino, amazingly confirmed the story to NBC Philadelphia:

“Basically, when the server comes up and gives their speel, they describe the different cuts of meat, flavor profiles, and textures, he described them to Andy and said, ‘Would you like the ribeye, the New York strip, or the filet mignon?’” Furino said on a radio appearance. “And Andy said, ‘Yes.’ Like yes to all three. That’s kind of how it got started. They put all three in front of him. He put down about 90% of them.”

Reid is officially my hero after reading this story. As for the head coach’s side of the story, he claims he doesn’t remember doing it, but will take credit for it anyway:

“That’s what he said? He’s too funny,” Reid said on a podcast with Adam Schefter. “Well, I might have. It might have been for Joe, Jeffrey, and Andy. Other than that, I don’t remember ordering three steaks. I’ll take credit for it though.”

Years before that, he put down a 40-ounce steak in 19 minutes when he and current NFL Network analyst Steve Mariucci were assistants with the Green Bay Packers.

“When we were rooming together at Green Bay, our wives weren't moved there yet, so we’d go out to eat every night,” Mariucci said on the Rich Eisen show in 2015. “We went to this one place, this Prime Quarters, a steak place, and if you could eat a 40-ounce steak and the salad, and garlic bread, and other stuff around it — if you could eat it under an hour, you get your next meal free, and you get your picture on the wall with a big bib, and that baker’s hat or whatever it is. Andy finished his meal in 19 minutes, and I finished mine in 30 and we are still on the wall over there at that restaurant.”

Amazingly, that photo exists on Twitter:

As promised, @SteveMariucci photo with @Chiefs HC Andy Reid after they destroyed 40oz steaks when they both were @packers assistants. pic.twitter.com/VLMUkGWMBz

— Rich Eisen Show (@RichEisenShow) December 6, 2016

He doesn’t exclusively just eat or talk about red meat, though.

Before his 2019 Super Bowl-winning season with the Chiefs, Reid’s biggest offseason accomplishment was eating chile relleno, which is a Mexican dish:

Andy Reid was asked if he did anything fun or exotic this offseason: “I attacked a couple Chile rellenos.”

— Jeff Darlington (@JeffDarlington) July 23, 2019

In 2013 when Peyton Manning was still in the league, Reid compared what Manning can do in football with what Reid can do at a buffet.

“I would tell you he’s talented. There’s talent. You and I could do this at a buffet, but he does it on the football field, and there’s some athletic ability that takes place there.”

Same, Andy. Same.

How he eats Snickers bars is especially innovative, just like his schemes:

More Andy Reid being Andy Reid: 'It's like a Snickers bar in the freezer, right? I mean, it's treasured.' #Chiefs #NFL

— Sean Keeler (@SeanKeeler) June 5, 2014

Who doesn’t want to try that now?

It’s really hard not to love a coach who can crank out one-liners like these. He’s not going anywhere, and neither are the Chiefs, so expect more of the ever-quotable Andy Reid in the future.

[porcelaindagger]

since this won’t show in the tags from the actual blog

After speaking with some people privately, I had been under the impression that I had been doing a good enough job keeping my head down, minding my own business, and not making a fuss, but it’s evident that this is not the case. I have been back in the community for about a year now as Elle, and since then I have made every effort to use this new alias as an opportunity to turn over a new leaf, make a new start, and be an unobtrusive and altogether quiet presence in the community. I came back simply to write – not to make a fuss or make waves, and I was open and honest about my identity and my past mistakes with those who came to me to ask, and have a small group of people who know that I am Beth, who have known for quite some time now. It was not my intention to “fool” anyone by returning under a different alias, but to exercise the change that I’d implemented in my own life and to show both myself and those who I’d so horribly hurt in the past that I have changed, and that it is possible for people to change for the better. I think the fact that I’ve flown under the radar until now is decent proof that I am not the person I was a year ago; a year ago, I would have gone absolutely nuts in the face of the PSA that’s floating around, and I would have lashed out with irreparable damage – we all saw it happen last time, and it’s because of that that I was so determined not to do it this time. I understand completely why people would not want to be close to me given what I’ve done in the past; I lied, I talked about people behind their back, I pretended to be someone else to hide from what I’d done, I spread slanderous lies about someone who had been nothing but a dear friend to me, and I kept that same friend’s group from receiving the love and praise it deserved simply because I was bitter, paranoid, and malicious in my mindset. I was in a horrid place and going through a downward spiral in which I could not recover from – and though I knew I could not recover, I lashed out and pulled people down with me simply because it was the only option my toxic mindset gave me. I wrecked people who I’d considered family, who’d followed me through hell, high water, and two roleplay groups which ended with my complete meltdown. It was all building up from mistakes I’d made, even before that – in 2013, I copied things from a drabble someone had written; in 2015, I encouraged a friend to write a PSA about another friend simply because I felt that they were drifting from me, and I was so selfish and paranoid that I just couldn’t handle it. I was immature, and felt as if I didn’t have to own up to my mistakes, but as I see the error of hiding from this all and hoping that it’ll just blow over, I think that it’s time for me to put it out there. I was Wesley, I was Beth, and this blog was supposed to be Elle – the new leaf. Elle would never start a positivity blog, only to filter the messages; Elle would never send nasty messages; Elle would never vague blog; Elle would never strongarm someone out of playing the same character; and Elle would certainly never steal, though Beth once thought she could get away with it, and owned up to it.

In my personal life, the last semester has been an absolute trainwreck, and this blog, in my own corner with a small collective of people who I’d told, and in the roleplay groups that I’d chosen to join, was an oasis, and I am incredibly proud of the progress and of the changes that I’ve made in my life, as reflected by my unobtrusive and quiet presence in the RPC. I’ve done my best to be nothing but positive – and those who I’ve found myself close to can attest to that. I never thought of this attempt at a positive new start as an attempt to “trick” anyone with friendship and kindness, and I am so sorry that it’s come across as that, or as anything even remotely underhanded. I hoped that by being Elle and by starting over I could somewhat start to make right the wrong I’d done when I was Beth, and by being kind to those I’d wronged in any way I could, I thought that I was. I never intended for any of this to become a question of lies, victim shaming, or anything of the sort – I was just trying to keep my head down, and mind my own business. I’d even become close friends with one of the people I’d wronged in the past, proving to them that I’d changed before they even knew who I was, and I spoke to another, leaving things on what I assumed was a peaceful note. Perhaps it was a mistake to apply for a character that I’d played so often while I was using my old alias – but I never thought that it would start the wildfire that it did, since I’d been nothing but supportive in doing it. If anyone would like to message me privately, and not anonymously, to discuss the things that I have done, I would be more than willing to do so openly and frankly at my new url, which was created not to hide but to post fandom content rather than rp content without clogging up anyone’s dash.

I do, however, wish to address the claims of plagiarism that have been floating around, as this may be the only chance I have to do so. I understand that everyone’s concerns have merit; I have been a horribly sketchy person in the past, but the claims that are going around now are ones I hold issue with, and I’d like to address them here. Firstly, I’ll start with the claim that I plagiarized an OC from the group I used to run, Fidite Nemini. The character in question is named Holly – I don’t even remember the OC’s last name. A wonderful OC, written by a wonderful person; perhaps the best OC I ever had the pleasure of writing with. But the fact that I also have two characters named Holly is now being called plagiarism, and with this I take issue. First, I have Holly Blanchard, named as such for Holly Golightly. I’ll link her biography HERE. Second is a character in another roleplay that I ran named Holly Gilmore, who was named as such for the plant reference, and because I was going through a heavy Gilmore Girls phase at the time of writing her. Her bio is HERE. I cannot link you to the bio of the OC simply because I deleted the Fidite Nemini main and have no way of finding it. I don’t know where it is, I don’t know what her last name is; the only similarities between these characters is the fact that they’re named Holly and that they’re generally nice, sweet people. I can see how, upon first glance, having a character named Holly might raise some eyebrows, but upon actually reading the bios, it is quite clear that there is no other overlap.

I was also accused of stealing things from the person who played Bellatrix in my group – I cannot link anything here since the Fidite Nemini main has been deleted, but I used, in applying for a Marauders group recently, the bio that I, as an admin, had written as a jumping off point for an application. I’d gone through the old player’s blog to find the biography that I’d written since the main was deleted and I hadn’t saved anything for my own use, and I understand how that must have looked, but had I not deleted everything I could when I left Tumblr the first time. I’d be happy to dig through my google docs and link the application that I’d written up in this post, but I regrettably cannot access the Fidite Nemini bio anymore, or I would. The person who played Bellatrix at Fidite Nemini is, without question, one of the greatest writers I’ve ever had the pleasure of collaborating with, and I must say that it would be very obvious had I stolen from them, as their writing truly stands alone.

I would now like to address the claims that I stole a fair bit of characterization from the user who wrote the PSA about me. I’ll start by saying that yes, I did pin a few of their pins on Pinterest (but I went to a lot of Pinterest boards to create my own), and we have reblogged some of the same things – were I to remain a large presence in the RPC, I would make a point not to reblog musing from anywhere but inspo blogs to avoid this. But I must raise some issue with the claim that I stole a headcanon about sunflowers, a headcanon about running/athleticism, and a FC. I use flower symbolism in a fair number of my applications and characters, and this particular headcanon was written when I read the ProFlowers description of what sunflowers meant (in fact, at the time I was buying flowers for my grandmother, whose birthday I had forgotten, and thought sunflowers might be nice according to the description). I’ll link the headcanon HEREas it includes a link to the article. The running/athleticism headcanon is twofold – the graphic linked HERE is from a quiz which many people in the tag were using, and was therefore not my own doing. But I had put some stock in the character’s athleticism, since it’s both canon that she’d have to be athletic, and because the character is suffering, in the plot, from severe PTSD. It is often recommended to sufferers of PTSD, like myself, and like my combat veteran father, to put much of their anxiety into athleticism, as linked in the headcanon HERE. I put a lot of myself into my characters, and I thought that, as I am dealing with my own battle with PTSD, it would be appropriate to make a point of expanding upon it in the development of a character who very clearly has it. This is not copied and pasted from any blog, nor was it written in an attempt to mimic anyone else’s portrayal. And to insinuate that I am stealing simply because there is overlap in the usage of two face claims is also up for question – I will admit that I did take an interest in Lindsey Morgan as the character because the author of the PSA used her, and I commend you for your excellent FC choice. But the second mentioned, Deborah Ann Woll, is merely a coincidence, and I must take issue with the idea that face claims are exclusive.

In the PSA, it linked things from my old Alice blog that I’d recycled because I am who you all now know I am – were I trying to hide, I wouldn’t have done that. I’d have never been so obvious. I was too optimistic, I suppose, in that I’d kept my head down enough to play this character again, and I truly am so sorry for making you all uncomfortable, and for making you all feel as if I was trying to be devious by going under another alias. All I was doing was trying to mind my own business – and that is what I’m doing now, by turning my writing blog into a simple fandom blog. I’m even further in my corner now, and though I have no intention of leaving my corner, I thought it appropriate to leave this here as both an admittance of everything I’ve done, and a defense of the new character that I’ve built for myself. I understand that the PSA was made to warn people about someone horrible – but I’m not that person anymore. I have nothing but remorse for what I’ve done to those I’ve hurt, and I will never stop regretting the friendships that I destroyed. I considered so many of you my family, and I hurt you. It’s irreparable, and I will never ever stop trying to be a better person because of it. All I wanted was to turn over a new leaf, and to have fun writing with those I could reconnect with, and I apologize from the bottom of my heart for drudging up old hurts. I never want to hurt any of you again, and I never plan to. If anyone wishes to come talk to me about this, so I can explain and own up further, or if you would like a direct apology, I’m now at arhwen. I hope you’re all well, and finish out 2017 well, too.

#rpt #rpc #rph #rp #roleplay

[niedolia]

psa for the yoi fandom: russian names & how to use them

Russian guides: masterpost | patronyms | terms of affection | answered asks

I’m going to start by swearing this isn’t me just complaining but a general resource for the Yuri on Ice fandom because I’ve noticed some mistakes in the naming conventions used among the fandom and want to help correct them. Especially in how the fandom treats diminutives. I absolutely love seeing the huge amount of interest in Russian diminutives, etc. in fanart and fics and hopefully this breakdown will help continue that trend and interest and even spur some more ideas in fandom content.

So let’s go through some important details below the cut!

note beforehand: I use the spelling Viktor for transliterative reasons.

the basics of russian names

By now this is pretty common knowledge but I’m going to explain Russian names anyway, using our lovely Viktor as my example.

First name:  Viktor. self-explanatory.

Patronymic: It’s not a middle name. It is not a middle name that gets to be chosen like in America/etc. It is derived from the name of a person’s father and has an ending depending on whether they’re male or female. No Russian character in YoI has a patronymic and I’m going to explain why this really sucks and how we can get around this in the meantime below.

Surname: Nikiforov. self-explanatory. But do know that for females, their surnames will have an -a at the end, ie Mila Babicheva.

- as a side note, just because a character’s surname ends in -ovich or something similar doesn’t necessarily mean they are ethnically Russian. Other Eastern Slavic nations use similar endings on their surnames, so you should be relying more on the first part of a surname than the ending if you’re trying to find the character’s true origin. Georgi Popovich is a good example: his surname is Ukrainian and Belarussian even though he skates for Russia. I doubt this will come up much but it might be a nice thing to know.

the next part is about formality & when to use patronymics. if you’re a modern-based writer & couldn’t care less, go down to the diminutive part.

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patronymics & why YoI has creators screwed over here !!!

I’m sure a lot of us have heard it by now: the complaint rising from foreigners trying to read Russian novels that there are too many names for one person. The reason overall is pretty simple: how you call a Russian person depends on close you are to them. There’s three basic levels on how you should address someone, but the last two mix a lot so we’ll go over that later:

Strangers, formal situations: First name + Patronym

Friends: Diminutive

Close Friends, family, lovers: Diminutive & Pet name

We’re going to go over the first level then go from there in degrees of intimacy between two people. Plus there’s some things wrong with the above basic levels, but for simplicity and understanding sake, we’re going to start here and then improve.

I’m going to say now to those writing modern stuff: you can skip to the next part if you want. I explain why below but honestly it’s just me proving the show got this part right. Historical/Fantasy AU writers, you’re in for the long haul.

This is where this fandom is irreversibly screwed until more information comes. I can only hope whoever reads this doesn’t need to worry. Good luck to those who do.

Side tip: it’s not the best equivalent but if you’re having a difficult time understanding when to use patronyms, think of them as like versions of English “Mister” and “Miss”. Or, if you speak Spanish/French/etc., it’s like the continued name equivalent of using the formal “you”. You’d use these for say, your teacher or friend’s mother, not so much for your friend. I’ve also seen it be compared to Japanese “-san” but I’m not sure how correct that is.

The First name + Patronym structure is used for: formal situations, much older people, your doctor, teachers, and those higher than you career-wise. Notice something? This isn’t used for strangers absolutely all the time until you become friends - unless you’re in a formal situation like with a doctor or interviewing for a job. This creates level 1.5, which I will introduce below.

I’m going to split this in 2 parts, depending on what type of art you’re creating:

Modern: chill, my dude. Patronyms have nothing on you. Thank your dear Russians for that, their understanding toward our customs and adjusting - a lot, actually. While Russians might introduce themselves as First name + Patronymic, this can get dropped pretty quickly with anyone under 40 years old and not your boss/new doctor/etc. This is due to recent shifting trends with Westernization and is especially going to be followed by our Russian skaters when they’re at the GPF, etc.

This is where we get level 1.5: addressing someone by their full name (and by formal “you” but that’s lost in English). No nicknames, no patronyms. It’s casual without being too casual. This is what you use for coworkers, loose friends, etc. This is how Viktor is going to address Georgi.

What does this mean for modern fics?

Don’t worry about the patronymic. Our Russian skaters + Yakov (not Lilia though, Lilia is something else, be afraid) are okay with being addressed by just their first names (though I feel Yakov has no choice thanks to Viktor).

Don’t go to diminutives until characters are closer. Especially if it’s a younger character to an older one - ie. even if Yurio was a completely different person, it would be inappropriate for him to call Viktor Vitya.

Go. Be free. Why are you reading this section? Skip to the next part.

Historical/Fantasy AUs: Patronyms stopped being A Big Deal recently, so basically people under 50 years old no longer use them outside of formal situations. So if your AU is within the past couple decades, just use the modern format and go on with your life. If it takes place a long time ago or is one of those fantasy AUs with princes and whatnot, this is the section for you.

Hopefully you read the modern part because that there is your base. You know now that the First name + Patronym structure is used for formal situations. Historically, the patronym is going to be used in formal situations, by colleagues, by acquaintances, and by those younger than you.

Yes, that means Yurio should be sucking it up and calling Viktor by his name and patronym - twice over, in fact, since he’s a colleague of Viktor’s. Unless your Yurio gets Upgraded to friend, he’s stuck in this section.

It also means that Viktor and Georgi probably address each other with their patronyms, Yakov should be addressed so, etc. Technically Yuuri should call Viktor this way too when they first meet, but this really depends on the AU - whether Yuuri will know this or not, whether Viktor will feel compelled to correct him, etc. Then with time characters can upgrade to just first names and then just diminutives. The pacing depends on how fast your characters are moving.

But Vasilek, we don’t know any of the Russian characters’ patronyms!

I know, fam, we’re not in a Good Way.

Unless you’re writing Yurio, then I have a good theory for you below.

But for the rest, you basically got 3 options here:

Yakov as a father: ngl, I love Yakov as a father figure. So if you want to make it official in your fic and blow off canon, here’s an easy option to getting your patronym. Yakovlevich is the patronym for a son of Yakov. So, Viktor can be Viktor Yakovlevich Nikiforov. Make your own rules. Also as a note: a person can legally change their patronym to distance themselves from their father / recognize their adopted father, so Viktor changing his patronym for Yakov is perfectly okay to do - both in modern and historical/fantasy AUs (see this post for details).

Make it up: yeah. Just pull a patronym and take it. Make your own rules. It’s more accurate than there not being anything at all. And if Viktor’s/whoever’s father’s name is revealed? Just say that the father ditched and the mother picked another patronym. So, to take my middle name as a self-indulgent example, Viktor could be Viktor Vasilievich Nikiforov. Luckily patronyms are more set in their form so they can be constructed easily for males & females (usually -ovich/-evich for males & -ovna/-evna for females) but I’ve explained all of this in better detail + added some more tips about patronymics here.

Leave it out. How unexciting.

This applies to Viktor, Yakov, and every other Russian except Yurio. If anyone has any other suggestions for the patronyms please contact me and I’ll add it, but I can’t think of much else.

So why is Yurio so special??????

Yurio’s special because we know two things about him: his grandfather’s name & some background information from an interview stating that his family is broken. And even then, we know that his grandfather raised him. We can assume that his father is unknown/some similar excuse. According to Russian law, if the father is not known, the mother is allowed to choose any patronymic she wishes for the child - just as long as it’s a patronym.

The most common practice in this case? To use the child’s maternal grandfather’s name as the patronym.

Yurio’s grandfather is named Nikolai. So, unless officially stated otherwise, we can accurately say that Yurio’s full name is:

Yuri Nikolaevich Plisetsky. 

Taking their relationship to a whole new level, huh?

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level two: diminutives

Alright, we’re safely out of the formal atmosphere and closer than just coworkers. We hang out, we know each other fairly well, we met a few months ago. We’re friends! We can use diminutives!

The fandom actually has a pretty good grasp on the diminutives. It’s not just a nickname; it’s not a childhood nickname, it’s not cute or childish or anything like that. Diminutives are used at all ages in casual settings. They’re short and end in -a usually which is how we identify them. Viktor has been called Vitya by his family, Yakov + other teachers, friends (ie Christophe), and even lovers all his life and will remain Vitya to them ‘til the day he dies. When Nikolai Plisetsky asks Yurio to pass the salt at dinner, he calls him Yura. Hell, Viktor could be asking someone new out for a drink and introduce himself as Vitya. It’s just a casual language thing.

Y’all got this part down. It’s some of the details after that that get hazy. I’m going to use Viktor & Yuuri as my example below but do know that these rules apply to the rest of the Russians; ie. Otabek calling Yuri Yura consistently while they’re just friends, etc.

THIS IS THE IMPORTANT STUFF WRITERS !!!

1. Since Russian, Japanese, and English all work differently, Viktor’s probably going to tell Yuuri when he’s okay with being called Vitya. That timeline is up to you, but realistically, I bet Viktor tells Yuuri straight up that he can start calling him Vitya. And knowing Yuuri, Viktor is going to be the one to initiate this. Give me all of the permission scenes, I love them, please.

2. Once Viktor tells Yuuri he can call him Vitya & Yuuri agrees, don’t have Yuuri switch back to calling him Viktor! Unless they break up (ha), there’s no going back. Viktor is Vitya now, permanently. And knowing Viktor’s Extra-ness, he’d probably be devastated if Yuuri backtracked on that after calling him Vitya. Keep consistent. Viktor - agreement to call him Vitya - Vitya. - Exception: office AU and the like. If Yuuri and Viktor are in a business meeting/in some other formal setting then, and only then, is it chill for Yuuri to switch back temporarily. Otherwise? He’s Vitya now.

3. Viktor is ‘Vitya’, not any other diminutive! No, he is not Tora or any others of the like. (Pet names are another matter, but can have the same rule). Viktor is canonically called ‘Vitya’ as a diminutive. He probably wouldn’t answer to the others, that’s not how he introduced himself as. I know there’s a lot of cool diminutives but seriously, remember that consistency is key for level 2. It would be the Russian equivalent of someone named James and goes by Jim suddenly being called Jem. Diminutives are usually chosen by the parents so Viktor will have grown up hearing Vitya and not, say, Tora. It’d be weird and possibly inappropriate to use something else if you accidentally grab an affectionate diminutive. And just to give you an idea of how permanent a diminutive can be: some parents will decide on their child’s diminutive before deciding their full name (ie Anna and Anastasia have similar diminutives so the parent will have to choose between these two for their already established diminutive). - Exception: Vitka is okay on level 2.5.

4. For those of you with some drama in your fic, I did get a very interesting question: how would Yuuri address Viktor when they’re fighting? If they’re in the Vitya stage already and it’s not a big fight, Yuuri could switch back to using Viktor during it, that would get his point across. If he’s still calling Viktor by his first name and/or it’s a big fight, go for the full Viktor Nikiforov. Leave out the patronymic. Remember that the First name + Patronym is considered respectful; that’s not what you want. But using the First + Surname when Viktor is right there is considered rude and would produce the right effect. It’s like when your mom calls you because you’re in trouble.

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so what the heck is level 2.5 vasya ???

Level 2.5 is colloquial diminutives. This is Vitka instead of Vitya.

Colloquial diminutives are for really good friends, this is for your bromance, now with an extra -k. Yep, these ones are recognizable by the k present in them (so Viktor - Vitka, Anna - Anka, etc.). So if you think Viktor and Christophe are real chill buds, Christophe’s probably gonna call him Vitka sometimes when they’re hanging out together. Or if Yuuri wanted to show that he’s at that stage with Viktor, he can start using Vitka; since they’re already at the Vitya stage and it’s pretty obvious when you’re bff’s with someone, Yuuri could start using this without Viktor’s permission once he felt like it.

In fact, Viktor would probably freak out in joy if he does.

The context for when Vitya vs Vitka should be used is kinda weird to explain in English because at some level they’re interchangeable. The closest we have is the James - Jim - Jimmy name tree, following the Name - Diminutive - Colloquial Diminutive in this case. So think of it like this: diminutives are casual & colloquial diminutives are hardcore casual while also noting that this person is your bff all in one. You wouldn’t introduce your best bro as Jimmy or Jim (unless you’re Cpt. Jim Kirk trying to charm the ladies) to a stranger, you’d start with James. Then when they get to know each other it’s Jim. Then a few years later you find James and the stranger playing Super Mario w/e with the stranger yelling “get out of my way, Jimmy” at the top of his lungs. It’s casual and intimate, more so than Jim, without getting into romance terms either.

Now this scenario, playing a video game, would fit Viktor and Christophe perfectly and demonstrate a natural time for when to use Vitka. It could also fit in for when Yuuri and Viktor are watching a movie alone, etc.

Diminutive vs colloquial diminutives are highly interchangeable and it’s going to depend on the mood of your scene. If you use it, just make sure the two people are close friends and in a casual setting (ie at home, the park, what have you). Because it’s basically an even more intimate form of Vitya without getting into pet names, and a hardcore mode of Jim vs Jimmy. It’s also a much smaller step than going from Viktor to Vitya; it’s more of an acknowledgment of the stronger friendship.

Tread carefully with these! If two people aren’t that great of friends it can be seen as an insult, as belittling. So if Yuri is mad at Mila, he’s going to call her Milka. - This goes back to historical times when a person would refer to themselves to a superior by their colloquial diminutive - ie peasant Viktor will call himself Vitka when talking to the Tsar. But the same connotation wouldn’t carry over to peers - fellow peasant Christophe could call Viktor Vitka too and it would be alright, just a way of communicating their friendship. - Modern times are a bit different; Vitka is still seen as being lower. So even though it can communicate friendship, you should go easy with it and only use it in extremely casual situations. In other terms, you’re not going to call your friend “Jim-boy” just anywhere.

When in doubt, stick with the plain diminutive or upgrade to a pet name.

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level 3: affectionate diminutives / pet names

This level can get weird and confusing, ngl.

Pet names are reserved for really close friends, family, and lovers (and children like Yurio. children are referred to as their diminutives/pet names fairly often). That’s it!

It’s also worth nothing that teachers do not use these. They will use diminutives, but not colloquial diminutives or pet names with their students. This illustrates just how close Yakov and Yuri really are for Yakov to call him Yurochka.

Pet forms are pretty easy to recognize, I won’t get into that. I’m going to tell you all the other scary stuff.

This is the level where Yuuri probably shouldn’t expect an invitation to call Viktor Vitenka, unless Viktor is being Extra. But I think after the kiss, it should be pretty obvious that they’re at level 3. This is gonna vary by your fics: general rule of thumb, if they’re dating & know it, go for it. That’s not the hard part.

The hard part is knowing when to switch between diminutive/colloquial/pet form. That is all in the atmosphere of your fic. And while my general rule of thumb is to stick to one diminutive and one pet name for simplicity’s sake, the truth is Russians do use more than one pet name. Get rekt, right? Luckily pet forms are just for people the character is really close to such as spouses and family (ie both Nikolai Plisetsky and Yakov are going to call Yuri Yurochka). Otherwise, you should be avoiding these.

There’s a random string of exceptions to this last rule. While you generally should avoid pet forms unless they’re really close, they can be used on a friend’s birthday or when a character is doing something nice for a friend. For example, Viktor might call Yuri Yurochka on his birthday and then probably get murdered afterwards. Just use pet names carefully.

So should Yuuri be calling Viktor Vitenka all the time then? Nah, and I doubt Yuuri would feel comfortable with that (though Viktor might like it lol). Natives obviously have it down more but there’s some general patterns for when to use pet forms for a spouse:

Holidays (Valentine’s Day, lol), birthdays, when expressing their love, during great emotion in general (ie when Yakov calls Yuri by his pet name after he skates). Probably also for when a character really wants something from another (ie if Yuuri wanted Viktor to do something for him, he could switch to Viktor’s pet name), kind of like how Americans will say “Honey dearest, can you x for me?” to their spouses.

Now if you said something like, “Vasyusha, pass the salt.”, I’d probably question it. That’s where you should be saying just the diminutive or maybe colloquial diminutives. In fact, spouses/etc. tend to stick to the plain diminutive (ie Vitya) until given a reason otherwise like expressing love or great emotion (I can give further examples but I think Yakov and Yuri above sum it up well). It’s a very personal name is what I’m saying.

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vasyka for the love of ice just sum all that up

So to give some sort of pattern for us non-natives, this should be the general timeline for what Yuuri calls Viktor:

Viktor + Patronym: too formal and outdated for modern

Viktor: when they first meet onwards / if Yuuri is in a softcore fight with Viktor after they’ve reached Vitya level

Vitya: they’re friends & invites Yuuri to & usually from then onwards

Vitka: they’re in a very casual setting (ie alone)

Vitenka / Vityasha / etc.: they’re lovers & Yuuri feels like it’s the right time to call Viktor this

Viktor Nikiforov: they’re in a fight and Yuuri’s pulling out the big guns

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DIMINUTIVES

Here’s some Russian diminutives for Viktor, Yuri, and Yuuri (by popular demand). Please keep in mind that Vitya is canon and you should not go changing that out for another diminutive (which is why I’m not providing any others for Viktor). Since Yuri & Yuuri are phonetically close, some do use Russian diminutives for Yuri for Japanese Yuuri - personally I don’t see much wrong with that and Viktor Extra Nikiforov would probably do it anyway, so feel free to have Viktor call Yuuri any of the diminutives/pet forms below. Since not all of these diminutives are in common use, I’ve italicized the most common ones. These come from some Russian websites so if you want me to transliterate any other diminutives (ie for Mila) feel free to message me!

Viktor Pet Forms: Vitenka (Витенька), Vityusha (Витюша), Vityasha (Витяша), Vityacya (Витяся), Vityakha (Витяха), Vityosha (Витёша), Vityulya (Витюля), Vityunya (Витюня), Vityucya (Витюся), Vityukha (Витюха), Vishuta (Вишута), Viktorka (Викторка), Viktucya (Виктуся), Vitasha (Виташа), Vitunchik (Витунчик)

Yuri / Yuuri Russian, Diminutives: Yura (Юра), Yurik (Юрик), Yusha (Юша), Yurchik (Юрчик), Yurok (Юрок), Yuka (Юка), Yurka (Юрка), Yurets (Юрец) Pet Forms: Yurochka (Юрочка), Yuronka (Юронка), Yuranya (Юраня), Yuracya (Юрася), Yurakha (Юраха), Yurasha (Юраша), Yurchenya (Юрченя)

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but vasyusha, this made no sense / i have more questions / i have something to contribute to this post !!

Message me, my dude !!!  I’m open to answering more questions and I’ll do so to the best of my ability or at least hook you up with some resources. Don’t be afraid to ask me, my life is this language, I welcome questions!

Also!! Shout to to my two beta-readers, @nihonlove & @dokurochrome  for reading over this, asking questions and for clarification, and encouraging this post! You two are amazing <3

#feel free to reblog ! #yuri on ice #yoi #victuuriwriters #victor nikiforov #yuri plisetsky #;; writing #i tried to demonstrate in real time by using my middle name vasily #dont call me vaska tho lol. vasilek or vasya is fine #feel free to message me if anyone needs additional clarification ! #i'll write up the patronymic post soon then one on actual russian nicknames #vasileks russian crash course