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glitch47
reads entirely way too much fanfic
teethflavoured
welcome 2 my twisted mind!
coolchaosperfection
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Scenario: Marinette is kidnapped for some reason or another and is taken to the business the kidnappers use as a front; that just so happens to be a restaurant:
Kidnapper: you’re out numbered and there is nothing you can do about it!
Marinette, no miraculous and armed with only a meat tenderizer and egg beater: I’m about to prove this bitch wrong.
"The baker girl".
This is how people like Chloé or Gabriel have been referring to Marinette in a mean and mocking way throughout the seasons, as if this was something she should be ashamed of.
The fact that her Lucky Charm turned out to be a baker's peel and she used it to beat the crap out of Monarch is so symbolic and powerful.
#miraculous ladybug#miraculous#mlb season 5 spoilers#mlb s5 spoilers#ladybug#ml thoughts#BAMF!marinette dupain-cheng#don’t mess with her
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This is hilarious
my friends bullied me into making this. and then they bullied me into posting it. im sorry
#ml spoilers#ml s5 spoilers#emotion spoilers#miraculous ladybug spoilers#felix fathom#felix graham de vanily#ml emotion
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I saw a post where everyone in the batfam had adopted the airhead Brucie Wayne cover except for Damian and of course Alfred. So I wanted to add to the pile. :)
All of them are sitting in a restaurant
Brucie: … wait this has a little label for vegetarian on it but it doesn’t have any meat in it. I think you forgot to label it vegan!
Waiter: … this has whipped cream, eggs and milk in it sir.
Dick: Wait whipped cream isn’t vegan?!?
Jason: No, I’m pretty sure it is.
Dick: well if it isn’t I messed up my vegan challenge week and nobody told me!
Tim: can’t we just pay someone to find out if whipped cream is vegan?
Brucie: Good idea! [Takes out $100 bill and hands it to the waiter] Is whipped cream vegan?
Waiter: uhh
Damian: PLEASE STOP! NONE OF YOU HAVE DIETARY RESTRICTIONS! WHY DID THIS BECOME A DEBATE?
Dick: that’s not true I’m a pescatarian now! I really miss eating fish but it’s worth it!
Damian with head in hands: that’s not what- ugh forget it!
The waiter now confirms to everyone that they come across that Damian Wayne is indeed the holder of the Wayne Family Braincell.
Tabloids dub this conversation the dessert debate. It becomes a trend to ask what Bruce thinks is vegan during interviews.
#batfam#dick grayson#jason todd#bruce wayne#damian wayne#tim drake#incorrect batfamily quotes#damian is losing it#Jason thinks it’s funny#Tim is too tired to decide
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Red Robin has a podcast
The first episode was made after he got benched from patrol with an injury while quickly getting hundreds of listeners eager for episode two, then he just keeps making them.
They don’t really have any real theme to them, mostly just Tim ranting about what his latest hyperfixation/annoyance/case had taken his sleep schedual away this time.
Viewers have also taken note of this and will have running bets on how deranged this weeks episode would get:
He once gave an hour long rant on how to legally get rid of a shitty neighbor, at one point describing how to make an exploding glitter bomb and giving colorful examples of what to put inside of it, such as rotten milk or fish.
Another episode he was near screaming after dick had eaten Tim’s jolly ranchers and one episode where he seamed to just be too exhausted to emote anymore and so sleepy that his voice was nearly whispering while he talked about the differences between different types of snow before going silent for a whole minute till finally saying “holy shit… I think I just solved string theory…” and then furious white board sounds before finally a thump, the track cuts to a much more awake sounding Red Robin
“It’s the next day. I did not solve string theory, I did however create one of the most algorithmically perfect snow cone recipient in existence.”
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Two common Maribat tropes are:
Our favourite sassy butler is Marinette's godgrandfather.
Hawkbitch wins and the Batfam step in to help Mari stop him.
Thus, I propose this:
(TW for implied physical & domestic abuse)
Adribat AU where Gabriel succeeds in reviving Emilie & erases all memory of the Miraculous events from Parisians. Emilie is the only one who remembers his misdeeds and despite his memory loss, Adrien retains Chat Noir's instincts & defiance, much to Gabriel's displeasure. He forces them to play house with him and violently lashes out whenever they disobey.
One thing Gabriel couldn't erase was the friendship between the Graham de Vanilys and the Pennyworths. Thus, when Gabriel's abuse goes too far, she contacts Alfred & together, they smuggle Adrien to Gotham.
Alfred and Bruce are no longer young & the cowl is ready for Cassandra. Seeing Adrien's potential, Alfred personally trains him to take over his responsibilities so he can watch over the Batkids.
Between an enraged father, evil butterflies & the homo-magi community's unease, Adrien will find working for the Batfamily to be the least bizarre aspect of his life.
#adribat#maribat#mlb x batman#ml x dc#alfred pennyworth#adrien agreste#writing prompt#gabriel salt#not my prompt
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Jason: 'You'll never find the body' is such a boring threat. A better threat would be; 'You'll never stop finding the body.'
Tim, bored: Or just say, 'They'll be finding parts of you for at least four months...and you'll still be alive for three of them.'
Jason: Now that's a threat!
Dick, covering Damians ears: *horrified silence*
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Another Miraculous Crossover Nobody Wanted (DCxML)
In the midst of so many Batfamily/Miraculous crossovers, the thing I feel so many people forget is that the Waynes are...well...themselves.
Sure, they're awesome vigilantes. Trained in martial arts and with great mental fortitude to help them against the likes of Scarecrow's fear gas, Joker's venom, and Mad Hatter's manipulations.
...the problem is that Hawk Moth is a whole different ballgame.
He doesn't target their fears or dreams. He targets ANYTHING. Like petty annoyances. Frustrations. Sleep deprivation. Obsessions. Things the Batfamily generally try to ignore on a regular basis.
If he can akumatize and reakumatize the same man over his love of pigeons and people who feel they've been wronged over silly reasons, there's SO MUCH that could come from the complete dysfunction/emotional constipation that is the Wayne family. Remember, ANY frustration or annoyance or upset counts.
Meaning Ladybug and Chat will be having their hands full with the Waynes until they leave.
And given that Hawk Moth comes up with the silliest costumes and powers...
...the others would never let them live it down.
...
It was a beautiful day in Paris. And an absolutely wonderful vacation to the City of Love, where everything was peaceful and nothing was wrong.
Dick stood at the window looking out over the city.
Tim was on his computer doing some reports. Possibly Wayne Enterprises work, but more likely mission work.
Damien had apparently gotten tired of grumbling and was focused on sharpening his sword—which Bruce really shouldn’t have let him bring. But given the situation, he couldn’t argue against letting Damien have something that would help him stay calm.
Cass had found a magazine to occupy her time, though she seemed somewhat confused as to the male teen model that kept appearing in nearly every line.
And Jason…
…he was grinning. And watching Bruce with such anticipation, looking downright hopeful as he waited. Not helping was that he was holding what appeared to be a brand new camera, fully prepared to start recording.
Bruce knew why.
But he would not give him the satisfaction.
Because nothing was going to happen.
Absolutely nothing.
Bruce twitched.
SNAP!
And his pen cracked from the sheer amount of pressure he was putting on it. Which was admittedly an annoyance, but wasn’t that big of a deal…
…if it wasn’t the 15th pen he’d broken in the past three hours.
It was fine though.
Nothing was wrong.
He was calm.
Calm.
Calm.
A muffled voice could be heard from outside despite the room being on the seventh floor of a building. Which of course was a coincidence and not because someone was actually right outside the room….and the building.
And perhaps if Bruce tried really hard, he could convince himself was just someone singing a line out of “American Pie” and not someone talking about butterflies.
No.
Because there were no butterflies outside.
Because he was fine!
Not the slightest bit upset!
At. All.
“That’s thirty-three…” Dick counted.
…
…
…
…Dammit.
Bruce sighed.
“Did she come back to the roof?”
“Actually, she never left.” Tim confirmed, not even looking up from his computer. “She stopped leaving after the last incident and has just been standing there for the past couple hours now, catching them as they come.”
A long pause.
“How…?”
“Her partner has been bringing her water and snacks. And keeping watch whenever she has to leave to hibernate or use the little bug’s room.”
Bruce groaned.
Why couldn’t it be a villain? Or a fan or stalker? He could deal with those. He dealt with them all the time.
It was the well intentioned young superheroes that he had a harder time dealing with. The ones that wanted to help but were misguided in not understanding that their help wasn’t necessary.
“Gotcha!”
“Thirty-four.” Dick droned.
…no matter how many magical butterflies implied otherwise.
“Maybe we should do what the nice Ladybug hero asked and finish up our business in Paris?” Tim suggested.
“I refuse!” Damien shouted, jumping to his feet. “This villain has made a mockery of us and it must not be allowed to stand! I will not leave until he has been caught and my sword has tasted his blood!”
“Damien, we don’t kill, remember?”
“I wouldn’t kill him.” Damien said, looking away with a pout. “Just…dismember him a bit.” He frowned, consideringly. “Maybe cut off his arms. He can’t continue villainy then, right?”
Tim sighed.
“So that’s a no on going home early then.”
They heard a noise from the roof.
“Is she leaving?” Bruce asked, trying to hide how hopeful he was.
“Nope. It’s her catboyfriend back again.” Dick replied, blithely.
Bruce sighed.
“Do you think they’re dating?”
“Dick.” Bruce warned.
“Because the city seems to be really hamming up the romantic angle between the two and it’s kinda hard to not see.” Dick continued.
“Dick.”
“Even if it is kinda weird that they’re essentially shipping teenagers.”
“Speaking from experience there, Dickie Boy?” Jason cut in, cheekily.
“Stop it. Both of you.” Bruce ordered. “The goal of coming to Paris was supposed to be to deal with the emotional terrorism from Hawk Moth.”
“A little hard with all your emotional constipation there, B.”
Jason smirked.
“Or should I say ‘Justice Man’?”
Bruce twitched.
#ml fic#ml crossover#dc crossover#bruce wayne#batfamily#dick grayson#jason todd#damien wayne#tim drake#ml crack#not my fic#too funny
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I Couldn’t Have, I Was Playing Hopscotch with Hawkmoth
Felix slid into his seat next to Dupain-Cheng, wondering what would happen today.
It seemed that her new policy of dealing with Lila’s lies and the simultaneous ire of the class was to say whatever crazy thing popped into her head whenever they accused her of something. It had been rather entertaining, to say the least.
The first time she’d done it, their faces had been so comical that it had made Felix wish he’d brought his camera to school.
“Marinette! How could you shove Lila into the lockers?” Kim had stood in front of the crowd, his arms crossed in what was clearly meant to be an intimidating pose.
Marinette had looked up with a blank expression.
“I couldn’t have, I was playing hopscotch with Hawkmoth. He’s a really bad loser, so I had to leave before he had a full-on temper tantrum.” She had said it with the blandest tone he’d ever heard her use, which only added to the effect.
Everyone’s mouths had opened and closed like a fish’s, trying to figure out how to respond to her answer. It was obviously not true, but how did someone respond to that?
She’d held Kim’s gaze, no trace of amusement on her face.
It had worked exactly how he suspected she intended; they hadn’t managed to come up with anything before Bustier had come back in the room, breezily instructing everyone to turn to page 294 in their textbooks.
The next time, it seemed that they had come a little better prepared, allowing Alix to lead the charge. She was notorious for having a witty retort to everything, so it made sense. Unfortunately, Marinette had also come with a plan.
“Marinette! Care to tell us why you sabotaged Lila’s project in the art room?”
Marinette had held up a finger, digging in her backpack. The class had watched with interest, as this was the first reaction that hadn’t been outright hostile or bland.
She’d pulled out her tablet and typed something before turning it around.
Can’t talk. I lost my voice after too much yelling at the heavy metal concert I went to last night.
Alix had blinked at the idea of sugar-sweet Marinette attending a heavy metal concert, but recovered quickly. “Ok, so type out why you destroyed her project!”
Some more typing, then a response. Couldn’t have, I was helping scientists extract DNA from mosquitoes in amber to make dinosaurs.
“That’s the plot of Jurassic Park!”
Where do you think they got the idea from?
Alix had stared for a moment more before throwing up her hands. “This is useless, she’s clearly gone off the deep end!” She’d stormed out, leaving the rest of the class behind, unsure of what to do now that they’d lost their ringer.
Again, Bustier had made the decision of what to do for them, coming in with a reminder of the worksheet they had due at the end of class.
Needless to say, Felix believed that this was a very good use of her creative mind. Watching her outsmart the idiots of the class in her own way was endlessly amusing and had quickly become his favorite part of the day.
Today, before the daily confrontation, Bustier had assigned them a project, a partner project with their deskmate. For Felix, that was Marinette. Since they’d been working on the project all day, Lila hadn’t had the chance to leave and lie about anything, pushing the confrontation to likely after the lunch break. Felix could hardly wait to see what she said this time. Maybe this project would allow him to get to know and understand her better.
“So for the project I was thinking that we make a PowerPoint-” Marinette cut herself off, staring at him with a puzzled expression. “You’re almost smiling at me. Are you feeling alright?”
Felix immediately wiped his expression, mildly mortified that he’d outwardly shown his amusement, but forged ahead. “I see you got your voice back. Was the heavy metal worth it?”
“What? Oh, that. I’m fine.”
“Oh, I know. Your recent interactions with the class have been thoroughly entertaining.”
“Glad you’ve been enjoying it. Confusion is certainly better than outright hostility.” She sighed, suddenly looking very tired.
“It’s about time that you started retaliating, even if it’s just by scrambling the two collective brain cells they have left. I don’t know that I could’ve put up with Rossi’s bullshit for as long as you have with the patience you’ve had.”
Her eyes snapped to him. “You know she’s lying?”
He scoffed. “Please, don’t insult my intelligence like that. Of course I know she’s lying.”
Marinette was silent. He could almost see the burden on her shoulders getting lighter with the realization she wasn’t alone in knowing Rossi was a liar and was about to comment further on it when Marinette smiled. It was a mischievous smile that promised trouble, which immediately intrigued Felix. He hadn’t seen much of her troublemaker side except for the few glimpses from her last interactions with the class, but he had a feeling there was one hell of a wicked streak somewhere underneath that cotton candy.
“You wanna help?”
He considered for a moment. Was it worth getting involved in? On one hand, it was enjoyable to just be merely a spectator. On the other hand, he wanted to know more about this side of Marinette and it was always enjoyable to see idiots put in their place.
“I’m in.”
- - - - - -
After school, Felix and Marinette were at their desk, waiting for the confrontation.
And like a bad penny, the class came back to try again. It seemed that they were shuffling who was leading the ‘Marinette how dare you’ brigade, and this time they had chosen Adrien. Felix knew about her crush on him, so he supposed that it was a rather strategic move on their part, if he wasn’t able to see the barely hidden disdain for the boy on her face.
“Marinette, you know that it wasn’t kind of you to throw Lila’s backpack down the stairs while she was in the cafeteria. That’s not the everyday Ladybug we all know and love.”
Ah, the guilt trip method. Usually foolproof on someone as empathetic as Marinette, rendered useless by Marinette’s developing apathy towards the class.
“It must’ve been someone else. I spent the lunch break teaching Mr. Ramier’s pigeons how to moonwalk. I wouldn’t have gotten back in time if Felix hadn’t realized the time and dragged me back.”
“Now, Marinette, don’t lie about it.”
“I’m not. Felix?”
Felix nodded, pulling up a video on his phone and showing it to the class. In it, Marinette stood next to some pigeons, clearly demonstrating how to moonwalk. The pigeons looked on curiously, occasionally pecking at her shoes and awkwardly waddling backwards. Mr. Ramier sat in the background, alternately cheering or throwing birdseed to the pigeons. The video clearly had the timestamp of about ten minutes before their break ended, so they would’ve had to rush to get back to class. There was no way they could’ve done anything.
Marinette looked back at Adrien and folded her arms. “Well? I’ll take my apology now.”
Felix snorted at the flabbergasted expression on Adrien’s face, casually putting his arm over Marinette’s shoulders. He didn’t really know why he did it, only that it felt right. Apparently she didn’t mind, since she just readjusted to be a bit more comfortable. “Give him a minute, he’s rebooting.”
“Wait, are the two of you dating?” He blurted out, then immediately looked like he regretted it.
This time, Marinette snorted. “Because the only reason he’d support me was if he was my boyfriend? No, that’s what friends are meant to do, Adrien.” The last sentence was laden with poison that Felix didn’t know the context for, but Adrien did, because he flinched.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered, turning away.
As soon as the class turned away, her head fell on his shoulder, her face crumpling in pain. He didn’t know what to do but hug her shoulders tighter. He’d seen that her love language was physical touch, so maybe it would help? After a while, her face smoothed and she lifted her head, seemingly doing better.
“Hey, thanks for backing me up.”
Felix shrugged. “It was fun.”
She turned to look at him. “No, I’m serious. It’s been a long time since anyone’s had my back, even if it’s just to mess with someone. Thank you.”
Why did he suddenly feel all warm inside? “So what’s the next plan?”
Marinette looked surprised. “You want to be involved in the next one?”
“Sure, why not?”
She looked away, her cheeks turning a light pink. “Maybe we could, well, I don’t know, I don’t want you thinking that I’m just saying this because Adrien said it because I promise I’m really not, but maybe we could, um, discuss it on a date?”
“But we hardly know each other.” What did she see in him that she liked? Sure, he’d helped her once, but that was hardly grounds for someone liking someone, was it?
“That’s the point of the date. To get to know someone. Besides, I want to see if you’re as nice as I suspect you are under that prickly exterior.” She was looking at him again, cheeks now a bright red, but with determination in her eyes.
Well, hadn’t he wanted to get to know her better too? “Sure.”
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❤️❤️🔥🍦☀️🕴🏻
I don’t know what aesthetic this is
💯🙏💛🟨👍
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Do you think Tim holds things over his brothers' heads whenever he wants something?
Dick- Aw, there's only one piece of pizza left
Tim- Mine
Dick- Or, we could split it
Tim- Or, it's mine
Dick- You know, sharing is caring, Tim
Tim- You know what else is caring?
Dick- Hm?
Tim- Not gaslighting your sibling into thinking he's insane
Dick- ...
Tim- Not taking Robin from him
Dick- O-okay
Tim- Trusting that he's been right about enough things in the past that maybe, just maybe, he's right about your father being alive-,
Dick- You can have the pizza, dude. Jeez
Yyyyy
Jason, seeing Tim laying across the entire sofa he wanted to read on- You can either move or be sat on, little man
Tim, not even looking up- Today is not the day. I fucking dare you to try me
Jason- Tim, move. I am bigger than you. I am stronger than you. I will crush you
Tim- Bigger, maybe.
Jason- Tim-,
Tim, locking eyes with Jason- How long did you last with Joker? Half hour?
Jason- Excuse me?
Tim, holding up three fingers- I dealt with Joker AND Harley. For three WEEKS. And survived
Jason- o.o???
Tim, getting cozy again- Get on my level, bitch
Yyyyy
Damian- You're delusional if you think you can beat me, Drake. I was trained by the best of the best!
Tim- The best of the best?
Damian- That's right!
Tim- When's the last time you checked on those 'best of the best' teachers of yours?
Damian- What are you talking about?
Tim- I'm talking about the fact that you might have been trained by them
Tim, leaning down to Damian's level- But I took them out
Damian- Wh-what??
Tim- Still want to spar?
#batman#tim drake#dick grayson#nightwing#red robin#jason todd#red hood#batfam#robin#damian wayne#Tim being petty af
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The saying ‘someone walked over my grave’ and everyone assumes Jason is just being morbid. He’s not- he shivers every time someone steps near the casket. The family doesn’t know how he can always tell when one of them visits his grave but he will blow up the group chat complaining about it.
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Danny, after running away moving to Gotham a few months ago begins making little commentary videos on a social media app.
It was fine and all with mostly friends viewing them up until his meta gene activated. He didn't even know he had a meta gene and kinda figured any of the ghost stuff he did as Phantom would have activated it if he did have one. Nope!
His newest video started out with him wearing a red beanie, "Hey guys! You know how I just moved to Gotham a few months ago? Well, turns out I have the meta gene!" He takes a moment to let that sink in before continuing, "Most people get there abilities or whatever through a lab accident or an explosion or something and end up with like telekinesis."
"I, however, am hated by the universe and got scratched by a cat," he then yanked off the beanie to reveal two large cat ears, "and turned into furry bait. On that note if you have any tips on how to avoid Catwoman please leave them in the comments section. For my sake."
Dick stared down at his phone in shock. He needed to show his siblings this
In the meantime Danny has to deal with his channels popularity skyrocketing. "This is not what I want to be remembered for."
Bonus points if Danny gets one of those FMK questions that are all bats and he responds with, "Kill? A bat? Listen, if I get put into a death match with a bat the only one dying here will be me. I cant even do a backflip, what makes you think I could even touch one of them???"
#dp x dc#dc x dp#dcxdp#dpxdc#fanfiction prompts#prompts#dick grayson#danny phantom#danny fenton#catwoman
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the batkids will deliberately get jason into their favorite pieces of media so he’ll write fanfiction for it.
dick discovered this strategy when he forced jason to watch one of his favorite shows with him. he’d totally forgotten that the show ended on a cliffhanger before it was cancelled, but rewatching it brought back that feeling of dissatisfaction he had the first time around. so dick opens up the ao3 tag for the show and to his surprise, there’s a brand new fic addressing every single loose end, complete with beautiful prose and amazing characterization. dick practically weeps. it’s only when he realizes some of the things in the fic match up with the rants jason had during their watch of the show that he has barbara confirm his suspicions about who the author is.
somehow everybody but jason gets wind of this and they’re taking unashamed advantage of it. the next time they see a movie together, stephanie leans over to jason to whisper about the romantic potential between two characters. she gets like three fics for her ship out of that. when jason goes outside, barbara switches electronic billboards and redirects taxis with ads for her favorite show. and of course, every targeted ad on his phone and computer are for the same show. when he finally gives in and watches it, barbara ends up with plenty of content to get her through the between seasons break.
everybody in jason’s family is subscribed to the ao3 account that he doesn’t know they know he has. one day, they’re all chilling in the library, and at the same time jason publishes his latest fic (for a movie bruce of all people was very insistent he watch), everybody’s email notifications go off. he narrows his eyes suspiciously. “just some wayne enterprises stuff.” “got a package delivered.” “what’s an email?”
it’s fine. he’ll let them get away with it. besides, he does the same thing to damian to get fanart out of him.
#not even joking#my family does this to me too#dc comics#batfam#batfamily#batman#jason todd#dick grayson#barbara gordon#stephanie brown
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Batman, dividing everyone up for patrol- Jason, you're with Steph, Damian, you're coming with me, Dick, you're with Cass. Tim, are you fine going solo?
Tim- Yup
Jason- Oh, come on! Why does he get to go solo?
Batman- Your brother gets to go solo because he doesn't have a kill count.
Jason- Oh, he SO does
Tim, whispering- It doesn't count if he doesn't find the bodies
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Colored and shaded my sleepy Dami and Alfred the Cat 💚 My comms are open!
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batfamily twitter but it’s tim drake being a rapscallion
#jason todd#red hood#batfamily headcanons#catholic#catholic jason todd#damian wayne#tim drake#red robin
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70% of the time tim drake is one of the greatest liars on the planet, even able to trick batman
the other 30% goes something like this:
dick: hey tim do you smell something burning?
tim: …no
dick:
dick: tim—
tim: i have no clue what you’re talking about
dick: tim i can see the oven on fire
tim: what’s an oven
#tim drake#it is directly correlated to his level of sleep deprivation#dick grayson#batfam#batfamily#dc#batman
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