I grew up in a religious family and at an early age I was taught how to pray, I learned to pray before I eat, go to bed, and after I wake up in the morning those tiny prayers you do as a child then at somewhere between 6 to 8 years old, I guess, I learn how to use a rosary to pray and also the school that I go to in elementary taught us how to pray properly, we go to church for ash Wednesday or something and the school that I go to celebrated Christmas delightfully.
But in all those rituals, and norms, faith didn't build in me even after everything I didn't become religious, I don't pray anymore, I don't go to church, and I only pray when I remember that I have to pray which is not often. I do not recommend that. It's awful not to have hope, a faith to hold onto when you are falling apart most of the time. I mostly have horrid, morbid, horrible things in my mind that even I make myself cry.
Mostly at night when I am not distracting myself from my own thoughts, I break down and rot in my bed to tears, One night I could no longer bear it and there I found myself crying, hitting my chest, bruising my knees, begging Him if He could ๐ข๐ช๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ฎ.
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With all that I am, all that I ever was, are you willingly going to take me as yours?
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As a tribute to the passion, strength, and limitless potential of women may we flourish in every way we do and in whatever we do.
Happy International Women's Day. ๐ซ
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๐ฒ เนเฃญ เฃช หึด เฃช๐คโ โนเพเฝฒแฐ.แ
I am a villain, I will give the world to you.
๐จ colleen kong-savage (frm. Pinterest)
(I posted this on TikTok and my passage got banned, I cant find the reason why. )
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A letter for my friend.
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It's my 3 year anniversary on Tumblr ๐ฅณ
Celebrating little things โจ๐
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I have been trying to write and I figure writing for me is not something I force upon myself, writing for me is not an obligation, writing for me is something I love to do, a burst of ideas one day and speed notes of the thousand beaming words coming out of my brain, its an inspiration of timeless experiences in life, and I don't want ever to force what I love just so I could post something, I want my piece to be momentous.
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My first Entry this Month, as February is the month of love I do recommend you start on self-love so, that you can go further and spread the love you have inside your soul to another human being.
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And A Woman I am. ๐
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I wrote this yesterday because I keep seeing children in wars not as soldiers, but as buried men of their land, there are no sides any more people are dying, they need to wake up.
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When I was a teen some girls are already putting their make-up on and who look clean and put effort to look nice, and I hated them and made fun of them because I was shown and told that doing that is being flirty or whore like. But now I think that girls who put makeup on were tired of all other peopleโs bullshit and made makeup as their armor. People tell them to fix themselves, clean themselves, and clothe themselves because if they do not people will call them ugly, plain janes, and experience ill-favored treatments. After all, they look unpleasant for a girl. I think Standard beauty is all made up by someone who is fucked in the brain, I say beauty should be everyone, anyone, I think a flat chest or big breast should just be called a chest or boobs, big or small nose should just be called a nose. Chubby cheeks or jowly, sunken cheeks or drawn should just be called cheeks, or all of a girlโs other insecurities will be called beautiful because that's what it's supposed to be.
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Hello ๐ im back again.
Another poem inspired by the months and weathers and your breathing, the fallen leaves, and the coming October ๐
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Spending time with you is all I dream about.
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Unrequited thoughts
The hardest part of loving you
Is that I seek you from afar,
I couldn't hold you in my arms,
Or even breathe the same air
as you, or grow along with you.
It saddened me that your graces
Shone upon her and not me,
I can't even get through a day
Without a thought of you, you
Consume me day by day.
Envy grows within me as I ponder
Your days with her and all these
purple rain that I am not with you.
๐ผ๏ธ pinterest
๐จ @soulglance
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notherhood
I wanted to be a mother, I wanted to have children, a family
Yet, how could I be when I amn't mentally stable?
How can I care for them when I can't take care of myself?
What influences would I give when I am too blant for the society?
I wanted to be a wife but how can I when I couldn't even love myself?
How can I hold a household when I couldn't hold my own being?
I wanted to have a family so bad that I give it up
And didn't bother fixing myself.
๐ผ๏ธ Madonna and Child by Giuseppe Maria Crespi
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